Big benches and walks in the woods.
02|03|2024
My month-ish of rest and recover from burn out has started very lazily, as it was supposed to. I have been sleeping so much, I can now tell how much my body needed a break. As for my days I have been mostly focusing on my cross stitch, which has been brining me a lot of joy and relaxation, and it has sparked a new interest in audibooks! In the past while I have been struggling with listening to audiobooks and now I am so excited to pick some up. It even got better as I started buddy reading my latest audiobook with my dearest friend @oneardentstudybuddy. It's been very helpful to keep up the motivation with no pressure, and I love to discuss books together. The fact that I am taking time off for myself has not really kicked in yet, so I have not had a chance to deal with my feelings about it. I have been struggling with weird waves of anxiety and sadness, but they are quite temporary and I think they might be a way my body is releasing stress at the moment. If they do keep showing up I will of course try to work a bit more on them. So far I would say this first week of rest has been slow and good, and everyday I am more and more happy of the decision I took because I was coming to a breaking point and now I am slowly starting to feel better.
Here's a few things I am looking forward to in the next while:
having my friend come over to have a relaxing afternoon playing board games
a videocall with my bestie (ngl i have a weird anxiety around that maybe because we haven't spoken in a while, but it's going to be a small challenge to fight these weird anxiety waves I mentioned)
helping my brother assembling his new ikea furniture (I turn into a kid with a new lego when it comes to do this stuff jfakhsdf)
a lotr marathon, as a treat
I have a graphic novel sitting on my shelf that I kind want to binge read one afternoon so I might get cozy with that very soon
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Ahhhh I’m the anon that was converted into a Sugu stan hello!!🥺 Oh my goodness thank you so so much for your darling response it made me feel so giddy and happy to know that it met you well!🥺 Thank you so so much for taking the time to respond to everything, I was having such a lovely time reading through your response!😭😭 Your Sugu is just so lovely and wife coded and any day where I can’t hold his hand is agony and suffering😔
And not to ping pong from topic to topic but oml mer! thoughts😳 I dont think this would necessarily align with what you may have in mind for your Sugu fic, but I am such a goblin for the trope of childhood friends human and mer that have a chance/meaningful encounter in their youth only to reunite later in life and let the story go from there that is??? Good food😳
And slightly piggybacking off of that ^^^ imagine a young reader strolling along the beach and exploring much farther out than what their fam/guardians/ whomever would appreciate, and lo and behold they see this poor looking creature washed up and tangled in fishers net along the beach. Stepping closer it dawns on them that this is a mer, and judging by the state it’s in, weak and sluggish movement, shallow breathing, it doesn’t have much of a fighting chance if it isn’t freed ASAP. So they take a pocket knife or a sharp shell or something and gets to work and starts sawing through the net and things get ROUGH. Suddenly springing to life out of a last ditch defense mer!Sugu just starts flailing and hissing, swiping with nails/claws and baring fangs with frenzied anger, managing to make a clean cut somewhere on the reader, be it on their upper cheek or their hand or forearm.
All the while reader is doing their best to say soothing words and convey that everything will be okay. Eventually Suguru is freed and more or less scurries back into the water, but before diving underneath the water he takes a moment and stills, taking a good long look back at the human child knocked flat on their butt, sitting on the sand staring right back, who couldn’t have been any older than him. Then he thinks of his elders, the ones who had told him to avoid humans above all else because humans never bring anything good to their kind. Before the reader can scramble to their feet or say anything else sugu swims away and that’s that. Years pass and any thought of the encounter can more or less be brushed aside as a hazy summer childhood memory where the readers imagination just got a bit too lively. Merpeople exist, but really and truly, what are the chances of the reader having such a unique encounter? It is a memory coded as fantasy.
I have no more thoughts but okay just imagine😳 reader returns to that beach years later and somehow meets with Sugu again, and as cheesy or unrealistic as it sounds they both have a moment where it just clicks that despite it all they have met before. Suguru remembers a kind human child, his one man scuffle as an act of defense and scraping his hero. He recognizes that long healed graze of a claw, he knows who this is.
Okay that was a doozy but I promise! From here on out everything will be much more bite size and to the point ^^;
I have a question, in the world you’re writing, do you think there’s any type of magic or sorcery? If so, do any mer have the ability to harness and use it? Furthermore, would Sugu be able to, and if so, what are the extent of his powers? It’s just a fun thought considering so many mer! in media do have at least some type of it, and the idea of a mer!Sugu having some type of power is😳 incheresting😳 (also entirely unrelated but I’ve been thinking about mer! themed nicknames and the only one I can remember off the top of my head is ‘Sweetshark’ being a play off of ‘Sweetheart’. Who said that neways)
Oh! And another thought! Say that the Reader maybe catches a nasty cold or is just generally feeling under the weather and can’t visit Sugu like they normally do, how is Suguru holding up? Does he just assume that they up and left him, the one human he’s decided to open his heart up to? Or is he more concerned about their safety, wondering where they are and if they’re okay? What is his reaction when they finally return?
And not to change the topic out of nowhere but!! Oh my goodness yes!!! Being in a fandom that has so much smut, it’s so very comforting and nice to have a sfw corner to vibe and chat in! (Not that there is ever anything wrong with writing or enjoying smut ofc!) Thinking of these characters and how they would treat an aroace reader is so so comforting and it really warms my heart! stsg would be so sweet and patient!🥺 (And don’t worry! You weren’t being pushy or assuming anything, as someone who does fall on the aroace spectrum it is endlessly refreshing to see these ideas and how these characters would handle and treat someone like that! They’re the ultimate sweeties and would be so good to anyone, but for someone who is aroace?? Idk it just works so so well!🥺)
And! Thank you so so much I would be honored to go by a lil anon tag, I just get shy and sometimes don’t really send things in ^^; So if that isn’t any trouble and it would be okay/ if it isn’t taken, would it be possible to go by 🍓 anon? Or if that’s taken, maybe 🍎 anon? <:) Regardless, thank you so so much for your time and all of your kind words and thoughts, they mean they absolute world and then some to me!🥺 I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day/night!🥺
HELLOOOOO 🍓 ANON……. the perfect emoji for someone so sweet !! <333
pls i can’t thank u enough for sending me such a heartfelt ask, it rlly did warm my heart sooo so much :’3 AND I’M SOOO OVERJOYED THAT U THINK MY SUGU IS WIFECODED??? that’s all i want him to be tbh …. he’s a girlfriend he’s a Mother he’s a wife <3333 etc etc. u get it !!!
AND OHHHH 🍓 ANON ………….. this entire ask was just a goldmine of ideas….. would u believe me if i said i was planning for the suguru fic to follow that plotline almost exactly 😭😭😭 not exactly a childhood encounter au, but something very very similar!!! basically the same function……. and when reader and sugu meet for the first time i was also imagining him being hissy and defensive and reader cutting the net w a switchblade from their pocket, murmuring sweet reassurances to him…. WE’RE SOOO IN SYNC it’s the mer!sugu hivemind fr!! i adore ur take on this au, any variation of the childhood friends trope is a favorite of mine :33 and the scar is so genius too!! i think the idea of meeting a mermaid during one of your childhood summers is just theee loveliest concept ever 🥺🥺
BUTTT OKOK… onto ur questions!! they were soooo fun to think abt and answer, tysm for asking!! it rlly helps me when it comes to figuring out mer!sugu’s character, merfolk lore, etcetc :>
I have a question, in the world you’re writing, do you think there’s any type of magic or sorcery? If so, do any mer have the ability to harness and use it? Furthermore, would Sugu be able to, and if so, what are the extent of his powers?
GREATTT QUESTION…. this is something i’ve thought abt before when answering another ask!! basically, i imagine the mermaids in this au as being kind of sinister and siren-like, with an ability similar to hypnosis!! when they speak and sing, they can lure humans into a false sense of security, beckon them closer, dull their senses… etc etc. that’s basically all though!! i do also think they’d be very powerful and ferocious…. i have another piece of lore planned but i haven’t completely figured it out yet !! what i will say is that these mermaids are almost kinda. werewolf like 😭😭 in the sense that they change with the cycles of the moon !! :33
oh and and !! obv suguru is one of the more powerful mermaids….. definitely overwhelmingly good at using his voice, and also just very physically strong and heavy. you are NOT making it out of an encounter alive lol. (his only weakness is his tender heart <33)…
AAAA AND THE MER PETNAMES PAGDJSHJS… SOOO CUTE ….. SWEETSHARK ….. 😭😭😭 i NEED reader to call suguru that. i think they would also call him their little fishy <333 maybe he’d get back at them by calling them his little silly seal ……… sigh . their dynamic is so cute to me 😔😔
Oh! And another thought! Say that the Reader maybe catches a nasty cold or is just generally feeling under the weather and can’t visit Sugu like they normally do, how is Suguru holding up? Does he just assume that they up and left him, the one human he’s decided to open his heart up to? Or is he more concerned about their safety, wondering where they are and if they’re okay? What is his reaction when they finally return?
I LOVEEEEE THIS IDEA SO MUCH and my answer also ties in to some other anon asks hehe :33 in this au mermaids can move on land, but obv it’s risky and depending on the terrain it’s pretty tough….. reader lives very close to the beach and mer!sugu is super flexible, so i think that in this scenario he waits for a while, gets impatient, gets grumpy, and THEN gets worried. he’s trying so hard to act like he doesn’t care but we all know reader is his special little human :((( so after a while he’s like. what if they got hurt? what if they collapsed from lack of nutrients??? (for some reason i picture mer!sugu fixating a lot on reader’s eating habits… making sure they’re always well fed….. it’s part of the mermaid courting process i think)
…. so he ends up flopping his way over to their little house, carrying a bunch of raw fish and herbs <333 all worried and grumpy bc they left him hanging and he was forced to realize that he actually enjoys their company a Lot. which is very embarrassing for him. but as soon as he sees them all delirious and weak he probably tries his best to take care of them 🥺🥺 he’s not good at it LOL but he does have some experience …. and he’s very soft for them. can’t bear to be too snarky when they’re in pain or distress :((( he’s a sweetheart… a sweetshark even……….. lulls them to sleep with his voice and watches over them until they’re better. 🥺
ohhhh 🍓 anon this was so fun ……. tysm for sending ur thoughts my way and for being so sweet!!! u made me think a bunch abt this au and i appreciate it sm <333 ANDDDD FELLOW ASPEC HEHE it’s so good to have u here!!! stsg really would be so patient and kind…….. 🥺🥺 i might’ve said it before but i really am so glad the concept can bring u some comfort!! it does the same to me too :’3
ALSO before i forget….. pls don’t ever feel worried abt being shy / sending stuff in !!! there’s never, and i mean absolutely never, any pressure to!!! i’m the kind of person who can randomly disappear every now and then too so i totally get it 😭😭 the anon tag is just so that i recognize u (and bc it’s cute hehe).. but pls know that you never ever have to send anything in unless you want to!! doesn’t matter if it’s now or in a month or in a couple years. so pls don’t worry abt it at all <33 !!
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what kind of herb are you? ༄
your result; dandelion.
you grew up too fast and all you know is the calluses on your fists and the thousand invisible scars that you pretend don't ache. your anger burns so bright, so hot or maybe not at all, so deep you could never tell it was there. you are yours and you will defend that to the death after so many years of being ripped apart and denied your own agency and maybe you are still facing the bastards who stole your innocence but you will survive because that's the only thing you know how to do without breaking, the only thing you know besides protect, protect, protect, protect, yourself or sometimes those few others you claim as yours. you are a thousand sharp edges but impenetrable, a traumatized child so covered by thorny armor that you promised yourself you're grown now, you're stronger than anyone who has ever hurt you. you're safe. nothing will ever hurt you again. you're so alone though sometimes, in a world that sees you as too much or too broken or too angry or too hurt, and you want to scream with the too-much of it, prove that you're okay, that you're self-reliant, that you are strong enough to stake your claim on your body, on your mind, on your heart, on your people, and protect it from any who dare take it away from you. you are the sea in tempest, a howling sky, a tsunami in motion, a force of nature, no matter how much you sometimes yearn to be still, to be safe, to be small. you are a dandelion, stubborn and determined to grow in the rockiest of soil, and bloom again in spring.
tagged by; @asoloact ♡♡
tagging; you, steal this and say i tagged you!
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