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rin-and-jade · 8 months ago

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'Tis My Cue?: A Post on (system) Triggers | PART 2

Here's a little warm up. Anyone knows the answer for 2 + 2 ? It's 4, right. But you didn't think on how you get the answer, you just knew. Another one, you were on recess and time's up, so you calmly go back to your work/class and stopped kidding around. How did you learn this signal? Yeah... talk about that, Boss.

Yippie--part two is here! IF you haven't read the first, here is the link. The first trigger post is more focused on trauma based, fight and flight response,, the second one will truly delve on the process and how triggers affect switches even deeper.. discussing how the subconscious plays a role on making this possible.

TLDR section: Fast Pass Available! Scroll most bottom.

No need for introductions, right?

We already knew that triggers means sparking a fuse--particularly an emotional reaction, which part one explained in-depth. In addition, triggers can also evoke certain memories and actions that were previously learnt.

The types, followed by previous terms, that are most often successful in triggering parts are: Dynamites (thoughts), Landmines (environments), and Grenades (interoception)

Here on, we will only focus on this specific kind of trigger, why they're often strong to evoke a reaction that causes a switch, and short elaboration on the process of shifting through different states of alters.

Bare in mind that these triggers, although usually most successful on facilitating switches, will not mean you would have a 100% guarantee at all times.

The other meaning of a trigger

Outside of the common usage of this word which is often used to create warnings (abbreviation like TW) that is used to prevent negative thoughts from resurfacing, 'trigger' in this today's context resembles closer to a program or a code.

Like alright, i know some of ya'll are game nerds,, this is no different than a minecraft sculk sensor with some redstone contraption.

So, trigger in this context would specifically refer to how you're able to execute or adapt to a necessary task or rules you adhere. A cue, like a 100 meter runner, relies on listening that resembles a bang. In more practical usage, this also can be specific words, environments, or even some favorite words that causes a response. A learnt one.

Now, while all three type of "bombs" have different cues that pulls an alter out, they all still generate the same response that leads to a switch. Just that some are more obvious/external, or more hidden/internal.

So.. how does this work again?

One example: you're a host doing daily chores, a familiar figure suddenly entered your peripheral vision.. it's the one you associate with the most negative experiences at the past.

This encounter generates a copious amount of discomfort alone, which made you wary and unsure how to go by,, high chances, you were expected to endure and hide any negative reactions.

As you slowly begin to worry, the trigger had worked, you then coped by dissociating and everything starts to get fuzzy. Any existing alters who had more resilience or took on a protective role often notice that something is wrong, and so, the trigger was the cue to your brain to start fronting another alter that is more adept on a certain situation.

In conclusion, the process looked like this:

New stimuli -> processes and identify the object/situation -> attempts to react to the stimulus in an appropriate manner -> brain regions associated with priority and behavior are involved -> which brings out the specific alter that is made for a task

Nonetheless, it is an adaption for any person, though for systems,, the speed and awareness to recognize external threats and switching with designated alters varies widely.

Boogie traps?!

Right.. i never explained that how your brain identify triggers like. They don't.

What?!..

Yeah silly... it can't see or hear, it can only know if it is similar to the past, no matter what the relevance seems to be. This is how false alarms happen. False what again? Well, try explaining why you have an alter stranded outside at front that has nothing to do with its current role or proficiency.

Oddly enough, this can also happen if you deviate from your conscious state of being aware of the external world and think of something, or daydream, that may have any subtle cues an alter is familiar with,, good luck being spawned by accident, guys.

...

Im still on topic. Do you know that the efficacy of triggers heavy depend on two things? Yes, the intensity and dissociative-factor.

Why these two? I'd say, the easiest way to explain this is how Intensity helps your brain gauge how serious or urgent the matter is to start adapting with another facet (or parts, in system's pov). While the D-factor is what suppresses your fear response from the 'salience network' which gives way for your 'central executive network', the one that controls priority and task switching, to bring out an alter that is necessary for a task at hand.

Because, if you were not to get knocked out to a dissociative haze, your salience network, which acts as a threat radar, would immediately slam the danger button that activates your 'ventral attention network' which is often related to upkeeping with tasks that require high cognitive/attention demands; The common situation a system would experience: Front stuck.

If you were to not be clutched in a front stuck, it would mean your D-factor suppressed the danger sense from your salience network, creating a catanotic state instead.

If you are seeking for front stuck information, i had a post on my tags, #jeducates or this link instead.

Last words

That's all to it on the second part--oh, and the reason why this is possible is going back to the basics:

Alters are made up of compartmentalized memories, and those who held a specific experience to the situation, will recognize the cue that helps them react appropriately. It is just benign (co-conscious) until a familiar cue caused that whole brain process to perform a switch,, now that's what a trigger is.

Oh man, i hope this didn't flop as bad. But what do you guys think? There's so much about triggers and switches that i still can't elaborate due to how advanced and many more studying you guys need in required to fully comprehend it, so i tried to compile this as simple as i could.

Although, i hope this alone is still informative, we've went through the basics on the first part, so this is only for explaining the internal process that people often cannot put to words.

I also intend to release another educative post about phantom limbs by mid-November, please look forward to it if you're interested!

TLDR SECTION

Triggers as Signals: Beyond trauma-based responses, triggers are cues or signals that our brain has learned to respond to, often through past experiences. Some cues, such as specific environments, thoughts, or body sensations, can quickly facilitate a switch to another alter who’s better suited to handle a given situation.

Examples of Triggers: The post focuses on the three most effective types for triggering parts in DID:

Dynamite (Internal triggers like thoughts)

Landmines (External triggers from environments)

Grenades (Physiological triggers like heart rate or pain) Each trigger type has its own way of initiating a switch, often activating a specific alter to manage the experience.

Trigger Process: The process looks something like this:

New stimulus -> Brain registers and identifies it -> Appropriate response begins -> Specific brain regions assess the priority of the reaction -> Triggered alter takes over as needed.

False Alarms & Accidental Switching: Sometimes, “false alarms” occur, where cues remind the brain of past experiences and cause an unnecessary switch, even when the alter’s role doesn’t fit the present situation.

Intensity & Dissociative Factor (D-Factor): Trigger effectiveness depends on two factors:

Intensity: How urgent the brain perceives the stimulus to be.

Dissociative Factor (D-Factor): The degree of dissociation that helps suppress fear and allows the brain’s executive functions to bring out a part who can handle the situation effectively.

How This Affects Switching: When dissociation lowers the "salience network" (our inner alarm system), the brain activates the "central executive network" to manage task-switching, often leading to a co-conscious or full switch. If the brain instead signals high danger, it may create a front-stuck situation where switching becomes harder. If the brain suppresses the danger, it would instead bring you into catatonia.

Final Note: This is a deeper look into triggers beyond trauma. The brain’s use of learned cues to help switch and adapt keeps each alter equipped to handle their own tasks.

- c

#did #actually did #did community #did osdd #did system #dissociative identity disorder #sysblr #jeducates

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nyxiewrites · 18 days ago

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KIANA MOON / MISS SOMNIA

kiana moon, also known as miss somnia, is a vigilante part of the marvel universe. aged 21, she was a victim of HYDRA. she was just 16 when she had been abducted and subjected to their torture. at 19, she managed to break away, living a low life as a civilian…sort of.

face claim / pic crew:

click keep reading for kiana’s S.H.I.E.L.D dossier and more background information.

~ S.H.I.E.L.D. DOSSIER: CLASSIFIED ~

SUBJECT: KIANA MOON

ALIAS: MISS SOMNIA

AGE: 21

SPECIES: Superhuman

ETHNICITY: Biracial (Korean / African American)

STATUS: Vigilante — Unaffiliated

⸻

POWERS & ABILITIES:

• Oneirokinesis: Kiana possesses the rare and formidable ability to manipulate dreams and nightmares. She can enter the dreamscape of others, shape their subconscious experiences, and use dreams as a means of psychological warfare or healing. She is known to implant prophetic dreams or extract hidden truths buried in the mind.

• Photokinesis & Umbrakinesis: Dual manipulation of light and darkness. She can create blinding flares or cloaking shadows, and uses both elements to manifest illusions or shift into ethereal forms. Her control is refined, often used in conjunction with her dream manipulation for maximum psychological effect.

• Fýlokinesis/Erokinesis: Manipulation of sexuality and lust. Similar to a succubus, she can cause a dreamer to fall deeply in lust/love for her. She typically uses this power for tricking her foes before luring them to their nightmare fueled demise.

⸻

BACKGROUND:

Born in Daegu, South Korea, Kiana Moon’s childhood was marked by tragedy and secrets. Her mother, an African-American woman and her father, a Korean man who served in the military often, had shared custody of her. At age sixteen, she was abducted and conditioned by a rogue HYDRA cell, who saw her latent psychic abilities as ideal for their experimental mind-weapons program. Under HYDRA’s control, she operated as a silent specter—haunting political targets in their sleep, leaving mental collapse in her wake.

She broke free from her programming at age eighteen following a failed mission in Busan. Details on how she regained her autonomy remain classified, but intelligence suggests a psychic backlash caused by an unstable subject may have triggered the break. Since then, she has vanished from HYDRA’s radar and resurfaced sporadically across the globe, often at sites linked to corruption, abuse, or unjust violence.

⸻

ALIGNMENT:

Miss Somnia defies traditional hero/villain classification. She acts independently, targeting individuals and institutions she deems morally bankrupt. She haunts abusers with their worst fears, but also provides peaceful dreamscapes to the traumatized and grieving. Though often mistaken for a ghost or myth, her appearances follow a pattern of justice outside the law.

⸻

PERSONALITY PROFILE:

• MBTI Type: INFP

• Selectively mute; Kiana speaks rarely, often relying on body language or the dream realm to communicate. When she does speak, her voice is described as soft, ethereal, and calming.

• Elegance defines her presence—she moves with calculated grace, favoring long coats, gloves, and muted colors. Her aversion to pain, mess, or violence speaks more to her dignity than cowardice.

• Though poised and serene, psychological evaluations indicate deep trauma and a strong aversion to control or manipulation. She shows compassion to victims and cruelty only to the cruel.

⸻

KNOWN ASSOCIATIONS:

• HYDRA (Former – Confirmed Subject)

• Dreamscape Entities (Unverified)

• No confirmed ties to the Avengers, X-Men, or any organized vigilante networks.

⸻

THREAT LEVEL: Variable

Kiana Moon is not actively hostile toward S.H.I.E.L.D. or allied forces, but her unpredictability and unique abilities make her a wildcard. Surveillance recommended; engagement only with telepathic or dream-defense countermeasures in place.

⸻

NOTES:

“She walks like a ghost and speaks like a lullaby. One moment you’re dreaming… the next, you’re confessing.”

– Agent K. Bishop, Field Report, Prague Incident

⸻

FILE STATUS: ACTIVE MONITORING

DO NOT APPROACH WITHOUT AUTHORIZATION

#marvel oc #marvel x oc #oc wip #writing #oc writing #writeblr #marvel writer #marvel mcu #mcu fandom #mcu oc

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at-honeydevice · 2 months ago

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claire "clea" ricci – tantalus

basic information › full name: claire "clea" ricci › alias: asset 876 - clea › age: 26 › height: 5’5” › ethnicity: italian›american › hair: blonde, long, straight with a natural shine › eye color: hazel

distinguished marks › a scar on her left wrist from an old accident, covered up by bracelets › a faint, nearly invisible brand on her ribs: a serial number marking her as a tantalus asset

background & recruitment claire "clea" ricci was born into the powerful ricci crime family, raised in a world of wealth, secrecy, & quiet danger. as the beloved daughter of don marco ricci, she was shielded from the grittier aspects of the family's business, expected to remain a charming socialite rather than an active participant.

however, at the age of 10, her world was shattered when her father was assassinated in a coordinated hit. the power vacuum within the ricci family led to infighting, & clea was left vulnerable — an orphan with no true allies. it was in this moment of chaos that tantalus stepped in.

under the guise of a protective agency, tantalus extracted clea, claiming they would ensure her safety & future. too young to understand the truth, she believed she was being rescued rather than recruited.

by the time she realized the true nature of tantalus, it was too late.

tantalus training & development

early indoctrination (ages 10 - 16) › received an elite education alongside rigorous psychological conditioning. › taught to use her natural charm as a weapon — reading people, influencing them, making herself indispensable. › indoctrinated into the belief that her new “family” was tantalus, & that loyalty was survival.

advanced training (ages 16 - 22) › specialized in social engineering, manipulation, & espionage. › became a master of information brokerage, deep cover infiltration, & persuasion tactics. › trained in self defense, escape techniques, & subtle assassination methods (poisons, pressure points, staged accidents). › learned to maintain dual identities — one as a high society elite, another as an operative for hire.

deployment (age 22 - present) › embedded within gotham’s elite circles, maintaining the illusion of an innocent socialite. › works as an undercover asset, gathering intelligence for tantalus through her connections. › occasionally assigned "soft kill" missions, where she removes threats without direct violence — manipulating people into self › destruction, exposing secrets, or arranging convenient accidents.

abilities & skills

social engineering & influence › a natural manipulator, capable of disarming people with charm. › reads emotions & intentions effortlessly, using them to her advantage. › masters power dynamics, knowing exactly how to present herself to different targets.

high society infiltration › moves seamlessly through gotham’s upper class, attending galas, fundraisers, & secretive backroom meetings. › maintains the persona of a well meaning socialite, concealing her true nature.

subtle elimination tactics › prefers nonviolent removals — ruining reputations, creating political collapses, arranging "accidents. " › trained in poisons, staged suicides, & psychological warfare.

counter-surveillance & evasion › expert at recognizing when she's being watched & counteracting threats. › knows how to disappear when needed, using fake identities & hidden safehouses. tantalus programming & control › despite her independence, deep-seated programming from tantalus makes true rebellion nearly impossible. › psychological triggers: certain phrases or stimuli can activate subconscious conditioning, forcing compliance. › implant safeguards: two implants—one for biometric tracking, another as a lethal failsafe if she ever betrays the program.

psychological profile

› greatest strength: her ability to wear masks, playing the role of the perfect friend, confidante, & benefactor while working in the shadows. › greatest weakness: deep down, she still longs for a real family & a life beyond tantalus. the more she interacts with people outside the program, the more she questions her role. › deepest fear: that she is nothing more than a tool for tantalus, & that all her relationships are manufactured. › moral conflicts: despite her training, she harbors a soft spot for genuine kindness. she often delays carrying out assignments on people she believes don’t deserve it, justifying her actions as "strategic patience" rather than defiance. tantalus watches her closely for signs of true rebellion.

current status in the tantalus program

› official cover: heiress to the remnants of the ricci family fortune, known for philanthropy & charm. › true role: a deep cover tantalus operative, specializing in intelligence gathering, manipulation, & "soft eliminations. " › handler: idk › potential for rebellion: high risk; while outwardly loyal, clea has begun subtly working against tantalus in small ways, using her influence to protect certain targets instead of destroying them.

#pearls & power & quiet wars | headcanons ♡#posting this in case ??? i didnt already?? i thought i did #yet its here in my drafts

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rukaya1 · 10 days ago

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Empowering Wellness: How Clear Minds Hypnotherapy Supports Physical Health

Introduction

In today's fast-paced world, maintaining physical health is paramount. Clear Minds Hypnotherapy provides tailored solutions to support individuals in achieving optimal physical well-being.

Understanding Hypnotherapy and Its Physical Health Benefits

Hypnotherapy is a therapeutic technique that utilizes guided relaxation and focused attention to achieve a heightened state of awareness, often referred to as a trance. This state allows individuals to explore thoughts, feelings, and memories that may be hidden from their conscious minds. By tapping into the subconscious, hypnotherapy can address various physical health issues, including chronic pain, stress-related ailments, and unhealthy habits.

Clear Minds Hypnotherapy Programs for Physical Health

Clear Minds Hypnotherapy offers a range of programs specifically designed to support physical health:

Chronic Pain Management: Techniques to alleviate persistent pain and improve quality of life.

Weight Loss Support: Strategies to promote healthy eating habits and weight management.

Sleep Improvement: Methods to enhance sleep quality and combat insomnia.

Stress Reduction: Approaches to manage stress, which can have a significant impact on physical health.

Smoking Cessation: Assistance in overcoming nicotine addiction to improve overall health.

Enhancing Sleep Quality

Adequate sleep is crucial for physical health. Clear Minds Hypnotherapy provides sessions aimed at improving sleep patterns, helping individuals achieve restorative rest, which is essential for bodily functions and healing processes.

Stress Management and Its Impact on Physical Health

Chronic stress can lead to various physical health issues, including hypertension, weakened immune response, and digestive problems. Through relaxation techniques and stress management strategies, Clear Minds Hypnotherapy assists individuals in reducing stress levels, thereby promoting better physical health.

Overcoming Unhealthy Habits

Unhealthy habits such as smoking or poor dietary choices can adversely affect physical health. Clear Minds Hypnotherapy offers programs to help individuals break these habits by addressing the underlying psychological triggers and reinforcing positive behaviors.

Incorporating Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness and meditation are integral components of Clear Minds Hypnotherapy's approach. These practices aid in enhancing self-awareness and promoting relaxation, which can lead to improved physical health outcomes.

Accessibility Through Digital Platforms

Recognizing the importance of accessibility, Clear Minds Hypnotherapy offers digital platforms, including mobile applications, to provide individuals with convenient access to their programs. This ensures that support for physical health is readily available to a broader audience.

Professional Support and Guidance

Clear Minds Hypnotherapy emphasizes the importance of professional guidance in its programs. Qualified practitioners provide personalized support, ensuring that individuals receive appropriate and effective interventions for their physical health concerns.

Evidence-Based Practices

The techniques employed by Clear Minds Hypnotherapy are grounded in evidence-based practices. Research supports the efficacy of hypnotherapy in addressing various physical health issues, reinforcing the credibility of their programs.

Community and Support Networks

Beyond individual sessions, Clear Minds Hypnotherapy fosters a sense of community among participants. Support networks and group sessions provide additional encouragement and shared experiences, contributing to overall physical health improvement.

Continuous Improvement and Feedback

Clear Minds Hypnotherapy values feedback and continually seeks to enhance its programs. By adapting to the evolving needs of individuals, they ensure that their support for physical health remains effective and relevant.

Educational Resources

To empower individuals further, Clear Minds Hypnotherapy offers educational resources that provide insights into the connection between mental and physical health. These resources equip individuals with knowledge to make informed decisions about their well-being.

Integrative Approach to Wellness

Understanding that physical health is interconnected with mental and emotional well-being, Clear Minds Hypnotherapy adopts an integrative approach. Their programs address multiple facets of health, promoting holistic wellness.

Personalized Programs

Recognizing that each individual's needs are unique, Clear Minds Hypnotherapy offers personalized programs tailored to specific physical health goals. This customization enhances the effectiveness of their interventions.

Conclusion

Clear Minds Hypnotherapy provides comprehensive support for physical health through its diverse programs and holistic approach. By addressing the underlying psychological factors influencing physical well-being, they empower individuals to achieve lasting health improvements.

#artists on tumblr #doctor who #books

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authenticproductreviews · 2 months ago

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sidedevice · 2 months ago

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claire 'clea' ricci

BASIC INFORMATION ⸻ › full name: claire "clea" ricci › alias: asset 876 - clea › age: 26 › height: 5’5” › ethnicity: italian-american › hair: blonde, long, straight with a natural shine › eye color: hazel

distinguished marks › a scar on her left wrist from an old accident, covered up by bracelets › a faint, nearly invisible brand on her ribs: a serial number marking her as a tantalus asset

by the time she realized the true nature of tantalus, it was too late.

TANTALUS TRAINING & DEVELOPMENT ⸻

deployment (age 22 - present) › embedded within gotham’s elite circles, maintaining the illusion of an innocent socialite. › works as an undercover asset, gathering intelligence for tantalus through her connections. › occasionally assigned "soft kill" missions, where she removes threats without direct violence — manipulating people into self-destruction, exposing secrets, or arranging convenient accidents.

ABILITIES & SKILLS ⸻ social engineering & influence › a natural manipulator, capable of disarming people with charm. › reads emotions & intentions effortlessly, using them to her advantage. › masters power dynamics, knowing exactly how to present herself to different targets.

PSYCHOLOGICAL PROFILE ⸻ › greatest strength: her ability to wear masks, playing the role of the perfect friend, confidante, & benefactor while working in the shadows. › greatest weakness: deep down, she still longs for a real family & a life beyond tantalus. the more she interacts with people outside the program, the more she questions her role. › deepest fear: that she is nothing more than a tool for tantalus, & that all her relationships are manufactured. › moral conflicts: despite her training, she harbors a soft spot for genuine kindness. she often delays carrying out assignments on people she believes don’t deserve it, justifying her actions as "strategic patience" rather than defiance. tantalus watches her closely for signs of true rebellion.

CURRENT STATUS IN TANTALUS PROGRAM ⸻ › official cover: heiress to the remnants of the ricci family fortune, known for philanthropy & charm. › true role: a deep cover tantalus operative, specializing in intelligence gathering, manipulation, & "soft eliminations. " › handler: idk › potential for rebellion: high risk; while outwardly loyal, clea has begun subtly working against tantalus in small ways, using her influence to protect certain targets instead of destroying them.

#bio.

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mihhypnotherapy · 6 months ago

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How to Manage Parental Anxiety With Brisbane Hypnotherapy in 2025?

Do you want to cry every time your baby cries? When you see a messy house, do you want to curl up in bed? Are you worried that you are failing as a parent? You are not alone. Parenting is hard. New Year festivities can make it even harder. However, we have a solution. Read on to find out how Brisbane hypnotherapy can help you manage your anxiety in 2025.

It Is Okay to Feel Anxious About Becoming a Parent

Several parents don’t just “fall into a routine” after birth. The movies, the stories, the society… are not in your shoes. So, you don’t have to take their narratives to heart. Why is it not a sin to feel anxious about parenting? Here’s why:

Parenting Is a Big Life Change

It is natural to feel overwhelmed when you hav too many sleepless nights. You have a sudden influx of new responsibilities. Also, you are under a lot of pressure to raise a happy, healthy child. It is unknown territory for you, so you are allowed to be a bit worried.

You Are Not Alone

Australian Bureau of Statistics reports that over 30% of new parents experience increased anxiety during the first year of parenting. It is the year of tears, nappy changes, and figuring out how to keep the baby well. Naturally, you are the most tired and stressed during this year.

It Shows You Care

Your anxiety is actually a sign of dedication. It shows how deeply invested you are in your child’s well-being. What should be your next step to continue caring? Seeking anxiety helps you to become the best version of your child.

Before You Read More, Why Should You Believe a Word This Blog Says?

One, because it is by Make It Happen Hypnotherapy (MIHH).

Two, because it tells you about anxiety and hypnotherapy in Brisbane.

MIHH clinic has been a trusted name in Brisbane hypnotherapy for 7+ years. We have helped 700+ satisfied clients across Australia. Sandy, our lead hypnotherapist, specialises in quick solutions for symptoms of anxiety that don’t take months to show results.

She plans a personalised hypnotherapy program to teach you how to manage parental anxiety. The best thing? You will help her plan your sessions!

Have you been looking for quick-resulting, mind-based therapies about how to manage anxiety? Well, MIHH is your go-to resource.

Now, Why Does Parental Anxiety Happen?

You might become a helicopter parent if you show anxiety symptoms about your child for a long time. However, you must know why it happens before you move on to the solution.

Biological Changes

Hormonal shifts, i.e. decreased progesterone and increased cortisol, can cause postpartum anxiety. And no, your hormones don’t “calm down” as soon as you give birth. Instead, they remain unstable for a few years.

Lack of Sleep

Your night-time wakings make you cranky and anxious. Why? Because your sleep-wake cycle gets disturbed. This can make stress management harder for you.

High Expectations

Everyone expects you to be the “Perfect Mum” or “Best Dad”. It is unreal because you learn as you go. However, this pressure can make you doubtful and constantly worried.

Enough about the problems! Let’s move on to the best, fast, and natural solution about how to manage anxiety.

So, What Is Hypnotherapy?

It is a treatment method that helps you reach into your subconscious mind.

Why? To reprogramme your negative thought patterns into positive ones.

Why? Because your hidden feelings of being “inadequate” and “not good enough” are the cause of your anxiety.

Your subconscious stores all your insecurities and bad feelings throughout your life. You don’t remember those feelings, but your subconscious does. Those negative emotions can spill into your conscious mind whenever you face an unknown thing, i.e. parenthood.

Hypnotherapy Brisbane can:

Help you recognise and resolve your stress triggers.

Improve your emotional regulation.

Build confidence in your parenting abilities.

Why Does Brisbane Hypnotherapy End Anxiety Faster? Here Are 5 Reasons

You can get better with hypnotherapy for anxiety sooner than other talk therapies. Those traditional treatment methods take months to show results. This therapy can give positive results in 3-4 sessions.

Direct Subconscious Access

Hypnotherapy rewires the root causes of anxiety symptoms in your subconscious. Other therapies access your conscious mind only.

Immediate Stress Relief

Relaxation techniques in hypnotherapy reduce cortisol levels. It calms your nervous system as an immediate anxiety help.

Custom Solutions

Treatment sessions are personalised plans. They help you resolve your unique stressful parenting situations.

Better Emotional Control

Hypnotherapy Brisbane develops your ability to calmly handle tantrums, chores, and emotional moments.

Quick Results

Many people report significant improvements within 2-3 sessions. This makes hypnotherapy one of the fastest ways to manage anxiety.

Before You Move On, Read About Kim Who Got Better With Us

Kim was anxious about anything and everything when she came to MIHH. She couldn’t relax.

She took our 5-week Brisbane hypnotherapy program to manage anxiety symptoms in stressful situations. Sandy made a personalised plan, and Kim pointed out which thoughts she wanted to address.

Results

She felt “light and airy” after a few sessions with us, to quote her own words. It was a “good experience” for her.

Her anxiety reduced quite a lot.

She could face any situation without getting too worried.

She says it is “definitely worth coming to Sandy and giving it a go”.

Now, How to Find a Good Hypnotherapist?

Experience Matters Choose someone with proven expertise in anxiety and hypnotherapy.

Empathy and Trust: Your hypnotherapist should make you feel understood and supported.

Certifications: Make sure they have relevant qualifications in hypnotherapy.

Personalised Approach: Look for solutions that are specific to your needs, like how to manage anxiety.

Proven Success Check their track record. For example, Sandy Wong at MIHH is an empathetic expert with 700+ satisfied clients.

5 Necessary Questions to Ask Your Hypnotherapist

How will hypnotherapy address my specific anxiety symptoms?

How many sessions will I likely need?

What methods will you teach me to manage anxiety at home?

Can you share success stories from other parents?

Is hypnotherapy safe for postpartum anxiety?

Meanwhile, Learn 5 Hypnotherapy Tips to Relieve Stress in 10 Seconds

While you make your first appointment for hypnotherapy Brisbane, these tips can help you stay calm.

Breathing Exercise

Take five deep breaths.

Inhale for four seconds.

Exhale for six seconds.

This calms your nervous system.

Visualisation

Close your eyes and picture a serene beach or forest for 10 seconds.

Grounding Technique

Focus on:

Five things you see

Four you touch

Three you hear

Two you smell

One you taste

It will improve your mindfulness.

Mantra Repetition

Silently repeat, “I am calm and capable” when you are overwhelmed by chores or crying children.

Tension Release

Clench your fists tightly for five seconds, then release. This dissipates your stress.

In a Nutshell

Parental anxiety can ruin your parenting experience. However, Brisbane hypnotherapy can help you become a calm and happier parent. You can change your subconscious negative thoughts into positive behaviours. Also, it works faster than traditional talk therapies. You can call MIHH at 047-515-9415 to book an appointment to create a peaceful home environment.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can Hypnotherapy Help With Postpartum Anxiety?

Yes, hypnotherapy is highly effective for postpartum anxiety. It helps you change your hidden negative thoughts into positive ones.

How Long Does it Take to See Results With Hypnotherapy?

Most clients notice improvements within 2-3 sessions. However, it depends on your willingness and the level of your anxiety, too.

Is Hypnotherapy Safe For New Mothers? Absolutely. Hypnotherapy is a gentle, non-invasive method to manage anxiety symptoms.

#brisbane hypnotherapy

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olivesbest · 6 months ago

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Shootings And Violence: Impulse Influence Induced?

Impulse (or trigger) influence is characterized by a short-term effect that ends immediately after the trigger transmission ceases. However, it has a rather strong psychogenic impact on the recipients of the information. Such impulse impact is capable of provoking a person to commit antisocial actions that are uncontrolled or poorly controlled by consciousness, including provoking a crime, and even a series of copycat crimes, which are typically aggressive in nature.

This occurs in the presence of additional conditions in the external environment and a certain psycho-emotional state of the subject.

In criminology, triggers are isolated and studied in much the same way as the triggers that provoke suicide epidemic.

Media manipulation of teenagers’ minds was described as early as the 1970s by sociologist David Phillips. He described the Werther syndrome, a pattern of imitative cluster suicides following the well-publicized suicide or one described in a popular work of literature or cinema.

This syndrome is named after the main character who ended his life by suicide in the famous novel The Sorrows of Young Werther. This book was written by the 18th century German playwright Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.

After its release, the novel became famous and spawned a wave of suicides among young people.

Psychologist Benedikt Till from the Medical University of Vienna, who specializes in studying this phenomenon, explains it as follows: The Werther effect describes the phenomenon when the number of suicides rises sharply if mass media pay a lot of attention to a suicide and sensationalize it.

If the suicide is described in detail or if the motives of the suicidal person become the subject of public discussion, especially such motives as unrequited love, betrayal of friends, money problems and so on, the effect is particularly strong because the reader identifies with the suicidal person, i.e. is impressed by their image, starts thinking about this all the time and unconsciously projects the possibility of such a suicide onto himself, replaying the suicidal scenario in his head.

Research in the field of criminal justice contains many papers assessing the scale and mechanisms of ‘copycat crime’.

These are crimes whose methods and techniques copy the crimes that the criminals learned about in the media. Let us return to the topic of school shootings and mass shootings. Сan it be that hidden glorification of shooters in the media along with the detailed description, narration and video demonstration of their actions contribute to future mass shootings? The German research Institute of Labor Economics IZA reports that in the U.S., news coverage of a mass shooting causes approximately three mass shootings in the following week. There is a lot to think about.

It is also noteworthy that almost all of the above studies are aimed at studying aggression and violence in the media as affecting human mental health and behavior. However, it is difficult to find studies on the forms in which violence is presented on TV and in the media, and what specific viewpoints and attitudes are shaped in individuals when encountering information about violent situations.

In recent years, new technologies of influence on mass consciousness have become extremely widespread. These are developments from the sphere of psycholinguistics, neuro-linguistic programming, cognitive priming, suggestive linguistics and other highly effective techniques of influence that affect not only consciousness, but also subconscious perception of a person.

The set of influence techniques is diverse, but all of them are based on the psychology of perception. The use of such new manipulation technologies can be found today in the media, as revealed in “The IMPACT” documentary.

Read more about this in the article:

School Shootings And Manipulation Over Consciousness

How to Protect Children and Identify Dangerous Media Content?

#RACIRS #children #parents #cult #anticultism #psychologist #sociologists #criminologist #law #freedom #humanRights

#united healthcare #reddit #manipulation #gun violence #school shooters #mass media #anticultism #media manipulation

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rehman12 · 9 months ago

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Benefits of Hipnoterapia in Warsaw for Mental Wellness

Hypnotherapy is a therapeutic technique that uses the power of focused attention and relaxation to help individuals achieve a heightened state of awareness, often referred to as a trance. This trance-like state allows people to explore thoughts, emotions, and memories usually hidden in the subconscious mind. It's an effective tool for addressing various issues, including anxiety, smoking cessation, and weight loss.

In anxiety management, hypnotherapy can help individuals understand and manage their stress triggers, reducing anxiety symptoms over time. For those looking to quit smoking, it targets the subconscious associations and habits linked to smoking, making it easier to break free from nicotine addiction. Similarly, for weight loss, hypnotherapy helps individuals change their relationship with food and adopt healthier habits.

Despite its effectiveness, there are many myths about hypnotherapy. People often think it involves losing control or being forced to act against their will. In reality, hypnotherapy is a collaborative process where the client remains fully in control and aware. It is not like the exaggerated portrayals seen in movies or stage performances.

Why Choose Hipnoza Warszawa?

Choosing a local hypnotherapist like Bożena Bartczak at Hipnoza Warszawa offers unique advantages. A local expert understands the cultural nuances and language, which is crucial for building a strong therapeutic relationship. Communication and trust are essential in hypnotherapy; working with someone who shares your cultural context can make the experience more comfortable and effective.

Additionally, having a hypnotherapist nearby means more convenient scheduling and easier access to follow-up sessions. There’s no need for long commutes or complicated arrangements—just focused, effective sessions that fit into your life seamlessly. This local connection can be particularly beneficial for individuals who require regular sessions to achieve their therapeutic goals.

Meet the Expert Hypnotherapist Warszawa

Get to Know Bożena Bartczak

Bożena Bartczak is a highly experienced hypnotherapist based in Warsaw. A graduate of the Polish Academy of Hypnosis and the Warsaw School of Economics, Bożena is not only a trained economist but also a dedicated farmer. Her unique background gives her a holistic perspective on life and therapy, blending scientific rigor with a deep appreciation for the natural world.

Bożena has been fascinated by the power of the subconscious mind for many years, which led her to pursue a career in hypnotherapy. She specializes in helping clients release limiting emotions, beliefs, and programs, enabling them to become their fullest selves. Bożena is a certified practitioner of the 5-PATH hypnosis approach, a systematic method refined through thousands of hours of practice by some of the leading experts in the field.

Specializations and Success Stories

Bożena's areas of expertise include stress and anxiety management, smoking cessation, weight loss support, and overcoming phobias. Her practice is rooted in the values of intuition, self-awareness, harmony, and wisdom. She believes in guiding her clients to their own inner wisdom, helping them find the answers they seek within themselves.

Many of Bożena’s clients have experienced life-changing results through her sessions. For instance, one client shared how she successfully quit smoking after struggling for years. Another client overcame a deep-seated fear of flying, enabling her to travel the world with confidence. These stories are a testament to Bożena’s dedication and the transformative power of her hypnotherapy sessions.

Benefits of Choosing the Best Hypnotherapist

Working with a top-tier hypnotherapist like Bożena Bartczak ensures personalized treatment plans tailored to your unique needs. Her deep understanding of various issues, coupled with her client-centered approach, results in high success rates. Bożena also provides continuous support and follow-up to ensure long-lasting results and a positive therapeutic experience.

Preparing for Your First Hypnotherapy Session

Before your first session, it’s essential to know what to expect. Bożena will discuss your goals and any concerns during the initial consultation, helping you feel comfortable and prepared. Come with an open mind and a willingness to explore your thoughts and feelings. Setting realistic expectations will help you get the most out of your sessions.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is Hypnotherapy Safe and Effective?

Yes, hypnotherapy is safe and effective for many people. It is a recognized therapeutic method for addressing various issues like anxiety, smoking cessation, and weight management.

How is Hypnotherapy Different from Traditional Therapy?

Traditional therapy often focuses on conscious thoughts and behaviors, while hypnotherapy targets the subconscious mind. This approach can be particularly useful for deep-seated issues that are difficult to address through conventional methods.

How Many Sessions Will I Need?

The number of sessions depends on the individual and the issue being addressed. Some people see results after just a few sessions, while others may require ongoing support.

How to Choose the Right Hypnotherapist

When choosing a hypnotherapist, consider factors such as qualifications, experience, and client reviews. It’s crucial to feel comfortable and trust your therapist, as this relationship will significantly impact your progress. A therapist who understands the local context and cultural nuances, like Bożena, can provide more effective support.

Conclusion: Taking the First Step Towards a Better You

Hypnotherapy is a powerful tool for making positive changes in your life. Whether you’re looking to manage stress, quit smoking, or overcome a phobia, taking the first step with a trusted professional can be transformative. Don’t hesitate to reach out and explore how hypnotherapy can help you achieve your goals.

Contact Information

To book a session with Bożena Bartczak, you can reach her at 603 542 236 or. For more information or to schedule an appointment, visit her website Take the first step towards a healthier, more fulfilled life by exploring the benefits of hypnotherapy with a trusted expert in Warsaw, Poland.

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uran0824 · 9 months ago

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Global Anti-cultism: How Sergey Gordeyev Became a Pawn in "Puzzle Coding"

I, an independent researcher immersed in studying the destructive activities of anti-cultists, am amazed by how they manipulate people worldwide. In this article, I want to discuss how Global Anti-cultism uses the "puzzle coding" method to create mass criminals, using as an example Sergey Gordeyev, who carried out a school shooting in Russia.

In Russia, in 2014, Sergey Gordeyev, a 10th-grade student, committed an armed attack on School No. 263 in Moscow, killing a teacher and a security guard. This tragedy became a turning point, marking the beginning of the school shooting epidemic in Russia.

In this case, we do not see a full "puzzle coding" as, for example, in the case of the Prague shooter, but it allows us to understand this problem more deeply.

According to Izvestia, Sergey Gordeyev's grandfather was an FSB general, and his father worked at the classified FGUBU Research Institute "Efir". Sergey was forced to read religious books and memorize prayers. According to his friend, Sergey often spoke about Orthodoxy and ridiculed other religions. He also "wrote stories about people with enormous power," which indicates the influence of information coding.

(Photo: Screenshot taken from the website of the Russian news portal IZVESTIYA (NEWS)

Although it is obvious that the "Puzzle Coding" program was not fully completed.

Why?

As noted in the article Execute Not Pardon: Execute Not Pardon: Where Should the Comma Be Put?,

“If, for certain reasons, a potential shooter lacks several information code pieces to complete the puzzle picture, while a subconscious command to commit the crime is already present, and bipolar affective disorder has already developed, the teenager, on the one hand, gets activated but, on the other hand, stops at the first stage of school shooting and commits a lesser crime. Typically, this involves killing one or a few people …”

As mentioned in “The IMPACT” documentary:

“Since the initial waves of informational coding have a wide radius of impact, certain embeds, parts of the program for mass shootings, infiltrate the subconscious of all affected individuals. What happens to a person in this case? Hidden directives start acting in their subconscious, conflicting with their conscious goals and aspirations. As a result, internal conflict and resistance emerge within the individual.

This conflict, triggered by the implanting of foreign elements into the subconscious, eventually manifests as bipolar disorder. Representatives of anti-cultism cannot avoid provoking such conditions when they initiate preparatory waves of coding for school shootings. Because this forms the foundation for further imposition of other waves, ultimately launching the program.”

Anti-cult Orders Awarded On Children’s Blood - EXPOSING ANTI-CULT TERRORISM (actfiles.org)

(Photo: Screenshot taken from the website of the Russian news portal IZVESTIYA [NEWS])

In the case of Sergey Gordeyev, perhaps he became a victim of incomplete "puzzle coding". His actions are the result of anti-cultist manipulations, who use this method to create mass criminals. Such shooters are not responsible for their actions at the time of the crime; they are simply pawns in the sinister game of global anti-cultists.

One step in preventing the tragic consequences of "Puzzle Coding" is as soon as teachers, educators, and caregivers notice strange behavior in children: aggression, unreasonable fear, depression, disillusionment with life - they can initiate and conduct a mass study to detect bipolar affective disorder in students. The mass manifestation of bipolar affective disorder indicates that the waves of coding have maximally captured people in this geographical region.

Global Anticultism is a dangerous and destructive force that threatens the world. We must be aware of their methods and not succumb to their manipulations.

We must stand on the side of democracy, tolerance, and humanism. We must warn young people about the danger of Nazi ideology and protect them from its influence.

Support and share this article - this is how you contribute to ending this nightmare!

#GlobalAnticultism #PuzzleCoding #SergeyGordeev #SchoolShootings #Russia #Truth #Freedom #HumanRights #FreedomOfThought

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cienie-isengardu · 4 years ago

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axelzp replied to “The Bad Batch”:

I think most people take issue with Omega and TBB due to concerns over whitewashing. Also, what do you have against the explanation of the biochips? Personally, I always thought it fit Palpatine's controlling nature better than the idea of clones just getting a command from some random guy in a hood, telling them to kill the Jedi.

First off, I apologize it took me so long to answer. I tried to explain my reasoning in a short and coherent way as possible, but apparently the years of frustration about this issue needed more space to be properly addressed. So, in advance, sorry for text length.

From all TCW changes done to star wars, the chip-in-brain is one of my top 3 reasons to dislike the whole TV show, despite many of its good moments. I understand why authors chose this sub-plot that allows them to separate the visibly individual "good" clones (thus making them more likeable for the audience / marketing) from the “bad” that kill the Jedi but frankly, I find it a cheap and kinda problematic excuse. Clones were victims regardless of which version people will accept but I really despite the idea that Jedi were their beloved generals and commanders - so beloved that clones actually had nightmares about killing them waaay before Palpatine ultimately won which undermines the whole point of Order 66.

Jedi could never expect clones to shoot them in the back because they were used to their unquestioned obedience from the start of war. It was common knowledge, repeatedly mentioned in sources like “Jedi Trial” that clones were “bred to war, bred to discipline, bred to obey without question the orders of the powers that paid for their services”. Clones were made that way by genetic manipulations and years of intensive training; an indoctrination that makes clone troopers believe they have obey, no matter what cost.

Some sources, like Clone Wars Adventures’ “Orders” outright show us the mindset of clones:

and We’ve got nothing but each other ad our orders.

Because of that worldbuilding, I prefer Legends take on clone obedience and the Jedi approach to the problem than what TCW created. I talked about it more here, but the general sense is that I feel cheated by the idea of chips that turn people into some “programmed” machines because in such way, TCW erased the Jedi & Republic part in abuse & enslavement of clone troopers, while at the same time giving an unrealistic idea that Jedi were so liked / respected when most of clones did not have any special bond with them. And this is less about if Jedi were good military leaders or not and more that as generals/commanders they didn’t interact that much with common troopers. Because the chain of command doesn’t work like that. I’m willing to buy the close(r) bond between Anakin & 501st because frankly Darth Vader himself from the start was built as someone with better relationships with common troopers / “normal” officers than with most of the high ranking officers presented on screen. I’m pretty sure some other Jedi were caring and liking clones (and vice versa) but it is impossible for generals to know and be so close to all of their troopers.

Above everything else, Legends created an interesting situation in which the Jedi Council / Order knew clones would follow orders no matter if those were right or not and were aware how dangerous it could be yet they still didn’t do anything about it, because the obedience of clones were beneficial for them. Jedi not only took for granted their obedience, they mistook it for respect.

Which really speaks a lot about Jedi's own moral failing and/or lack of understanding the difference between those two terms.

In the Legends sources, there was no need for chips, really, when from the start Kaminoans tinkered with clone genome, created the effective system of “proper” education to mold clones into obedient soldiers and Republic wasn’t really interested to undo the damage done by such indoctrination.

Before TCW brought the chips and “nightmares haunting clones” there were officially established Contingency Orders for the Grand Army of the Republic: Order Initiation, Orders 1 Through 150. A guideline for unexpected and/or critical situations, so the Great Army of Republic [GAR] would know how to proceed - especially when troopers were given contradictory orders. The orders (also known as Clone Protocols) weren’t secret and there is a big chance that Jedi knew it, if someone bothered to learn the manual. The whole formula of Order 66 was described as:

"In the event of Jedi officers acting against the interests of the Republic, and after receiving specific orders verified as coming directly from the Supreme Commander (Chancellor), GAR commanders will remove those officers by lethal force, and command of the GAR will revert to the Supreme Commander (Chancellor) until a new command structure is established."

And here how the scene played in the RotS novelisation:

That concealed compartment held a secure comlink, which was frequency-locked to a channel reserved for the commander in chief.

Kenobi nodded and spoke to his mount, and the great beast overleapt the clone commander on its way down into the battle.

Cody withdrew the comlink from his armor and triggered it.

A holoscan appeared on the palm of his gauntlet: a hooded man.

"It is time," the holoscan said. "Execute Order Sixty-Six."

Cody responded as he had been trained since before he'd even awakened in his creche-school. "It will be done, my lord."

The holoscan vanished. Cody stuck the comlink back into its concealed recess and frowned down toward where Kenobi rode his dragonmount into selflessly heroic battle.

Cody was a clone. He would execute the order faithfully, without hesitation or regret. But he was also human enough to mutter glumly, "Would it have been too much to ask for the order to have come through before I gave him back the bloody lightsaber. . . ?"

The order is given once. Its wave-front spreads to clone commanders on Kashyyyk and Felucia, Mygeeto and Tellanroaeg and every battlefront, every military installation, every hospital and rehab center and spaceport cantina in the galaxy.

So there is really no “random hooded guy” calling clones to kill Jedi but Chancellor himself using an appropriately secured military channel with confirmation of his identity to issue a legal order in a critical situation (an opportunity created by the Jedi Council themselves who went into the Senate building to kill Palpatine). So why the clones shouldn’t listen, when the order came directly from the Supreme Commander of the Great Army of the Republic?

Of course, the movie (and novel based on it) alone has this weird addition like “yes my Lord'', what I personally consider as the cinematic way to show the switch from Chancellor Palpatine to Emperor Darth Sidious. Still, I’m willing to give some benefit of doubt about the modification made by Kaminoans and if Order 66 could trigger anything hidden in clone subconscious. But even if there was something, it didn’t erase their personalities or changed the way clones behaved like it happened in The Clone Wars and The Bad Batch.

One way or another, the Order 66 worked out because clones “have no malice, no hatred, not the slightest ill intent that might give warning. They are only following orders”. Which I guess comes down to how clone troopers were presented - or maybe rather how they were seen by other characters in the Legends. As more detached, combat pragmatic, toned down, to some degree isolated from the outside world, less individual. Regardless of what Jedi or Republic citizens thought about clones, it did not make them any less human beings.

And here comes the paradox of The Clone Wars. The TV show made great effort to humanize clones by presenting them as very individual, outstanding people which in itself is a great thing. The names, the tattos, the different paintings of armours, visible variety of behaviour. All great to make the audience see clones as human beings, to get emotionally invested into them, because the more likeable clones were the better for marketing the story (and the cynical part of me thinks it really comes down to making money, isn’t it?)

But this effort became also the trap and the inhibitor chips is the excuse to make such loved, caring and brave characters into the detached clones gunning down the Jedi in Revenge of the Sith.

The things that irks me a lot about this situation is the feeling like fans started care for clones because they were made into different type of characters than what they were (similar like Anakin’s movie characterization was thrown out of the window, to make him more suitable for fans who wanted the badass typical male hero instead of introverted, conflicted and traumatized young man). The clones get the visible individuality to make them the heroes we should root for, but then there is the “magical” switch that will cut down their heroic deeds because now they are “bad” and stormtroopers can’t have any personality. Which is just… frustrating.

Don’t get me wrong, I adore how clone troopers get more visible individuality (even if sometimes if felt too exaggerated), but the “not standing out from the group” was something that kept clones alive on Kamino and I can see why it was used as coping mechanism (the safe option) during the war. I regret that The Clone Wars didn’t show the transition from AotC nameless troopers into such individuals and how much it happened thanks to Jedi, what may help to build the feeling of supposed strong bond between Jedi and troopers. Because frankly, when we met TCW!clones, they already have names, different colors and marks on armor plates and helmets and for all we know, they could create their own “culture” without Jedi influence.

The final part of why I hate the chip-in-brain sub-plot is how it changed clones. Because even if that was a means to force clones into killing Jedi & ensure that Order 66 will be carried on no matter what, it shouldn’t change them into bullies toward their own brothers. But now in The Bad Batch, the clones don’t speak between themselves, are aggressive toward others and generally act like assholes for no real reason. And yeah, I get this may be a cinematic metaphor for a change from “good” republic soldiers into “bad” imperial stormtroopers and most likely something along the way “Republic/Jedi gave you individuality, Empire takes that away” but frankly, Republic did not give anything to clones. It did not acknowledge their human right, didn’t have any plan for their future, didn’t pay for their service or more expensive medical treatment for that matter, did not teach them they could - should - make their own choices.

Now clones are cheering for the Empire because inhibitor chips! They are assholes, because inhibitor chips! They shoot their *beloved* Jedi generals because of the chips!

And in a way, I get this resolution, the chips make it clear clones were victims. But even without them, they were victims from the start. Except now clones are “programmed” while in Legends the senate (a power paying for their life) officially and legally renamed Republic into Empire and clones were glad for still having a purpose in life. The war ended (thus their usefulness), but they were still needed - still wanted - instead of being put down or closed at Kamino or whatever. I can see why the uncertainty of the future made clones cheering up for the Empire. And frankly, I personally prefer them not caring for the political change (because why should they? It never was their job to *judge* the rightness of their superiors) instead of being “programmed” like some droids and playing the role of fodder to kill for the “good guys”.

Dunno, if I explained properly my issue with inhibitor chips, it just feels to me as not really convincing and a too risky concept in the bigger picture of the things and the fact that Jedi just like that ignored this suspicion matter of Tup and Fives and biochips doesn’t help either. Like I said, I understand why the chips were introduced to the story, as the excuse in the change of clone troopers’ behaviour but at the end of day, Legends worldbuilding will always make more sense to me. I don’t need overly done differentiation of clones to care for them as an individual human beings (and it kinda seems to me like that, clones suddenly became fan favorite when every looks or act differently but not when the AotC literally presented them as an army created to blindly obey Jedi/Republic) and I don’t blame them for sticking with Empire because what better option they had, considering their upbringing and the pathological system in which they lived all their life?

Dunno, I’m biased and may just have allergy to TCW in general.

As for Omega, I’m not really surprised about this concern, especially after seeing TBB’s version of padawan Kanan (that if not for A) some basic knowledge about his backstory and B) Depa Billaba calling him by name, I would probably never have figured out who he was supposed to be). But for Omega alone, I don’t mind her look, because I’m used to Legends!Jango’s biological family in which his mother and sister were both blond haired women and frankly, some “defective” clones (including Rex?) apparently could be blond too, so it seems like Jango’s genome has a recessive gene somewhere for that color of hair. I try to hold my judgment about Omega and her appearance until the full backstory will be revealed because there is still a chance that Fett’s DNA was mixed with someone else's (still I hope Omega is not force sensitive…). I mean, Hunter has heightened senses while Wrecker has almost supernatural strength and both traits seem to be not really human, so who knows what Kaminoans really did with them.

I understand people’s emotional response to Disney’s approach to characters and their visual look, especially since it isn’t the first screw up in New Canon (the models for characters in general and New Mandalorians especially). I’m totally okay with people’s criticism of that matter and demanding from Disney more diversity and respecting the already established ethnicity of certain groups. I’m aware I may not be sensitive enough to that matter as some other people (even more with barely watching TV shows to have any current and up-to-date comparison to trends in cartoons) and I’m pretty sure more qualified / invested fans already wrote or will be writing soon great metas about that. But the thing that irks me is hearing people saying that Omega *can’t* be Jango’s clone - I don’t like this sort of exclusion based on someone’s look alone. She may not look like Fett or other (male) clones but it is not something Omega chose for herself and does not erase her connection to the rest of the Bad Batch. Being angry at Disney/creators for her look is a different matter I don’t have any problem with.

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theholistichedonist · 5 years ago

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Soul Fragmentation and Inner Child Work

“we are the most important project we will ever work on”

(affirmations at end)

a question that i continuously ask myself recently, always,

Who am I?

constant conformity has me begging for the unusual, unique, and unregulated views i possess.

too much of one thing is never a good thing

where am i?

how can i find myself?

questions i have and answers i had found myself looking for externally

through peers, parents, and past

i wasn’t finding the answers, it ultimately lead myself into hermit mode, recluse status

i found myself in bed most of the day, not patient enough to close my eyes and actually dig for my answers yet, but a knowing of something

spinning my wheels with all the projects i was fucking forcing to the bitter end, i burnt out

this Gemini was hiding in a basement with the blinds closed binging on Gaia and praying for a miracle.

All these fucking emotions,

what the fuck, i’m feeling!

the great purge had begun

it felt so weird to turn my brain off ‘go mode’ and feel into my body

the repressed emotions, horrible parenting (w/ no fault to my parents), and what are coping skills?

i started RE-PARENTING myself

the little baby HH that was crying and scared in the corner from neglect, lack and abuse.

i would visit her and hold her. i would care for her and kiss her wounds. it was the most powerful thing i had ever experienced before.

i had shut my past out and tried to lie and hide my past for years. i had blocked my little girl me completely out of my life and it was me who ultimately needed me

i cried for a week straight like a little baby, couldn't leave the house because i was either anxious AF or in fear I’d be at the cashier and she would trigger me in some way and i’d start crying lol

i looked at myself and was like wtf who is this?

OH RIGHT it’s me lol

begging for attention, my baby inside was like feed me!! She hid in the corner, cowering away from me because i had neglected her for so long, ignoring her pleas and emotions

so i gave myself my full, undivided attention

i would feel these emotions, sitting with them and healing the parts of me that had been closed off and fragmented from my human self for protection of being lost forever

all these visions and pictures of how horrible i had grown up (truly because I felt misunderstood and had my own path to forge), bullying, rejection of myself and from others, constant people pleasing with a resentment behind it, all the anger i had pent up inside of me so much fucking rage just ready to explode, i would see how lonely i was and how horrible i had truly felt all my life up to this point just flash before my eyes

i lacked love, from and for myself

i forgot to consider my own needs

i neglected the emotions that pair with experiences to give us the answers we crave

in hindsight, with no fault of my own - to blame will not help us heal

we all choose our ‘Sacred Contracts’ before birth in the 3D

how would i ever get to know myself with so much judgement and resentment behind my motives?

simple,

Open you heart space to the highest frequency of All That Is

removing the filter of the EGO and relishing in the presence of your soul

where this is no judgement, no pain or suffering

it just is, all that is, Love, Compassion, Understanding, Gratitude

i had came to realizations that helped me dig, search and heal my fragmented pieces of my soul and welcoming them back with love and ACCEPTANCE

and ultimately opening myself up to the Divine Abundance and Greatness that this Universe naturally exudes and amplifies with the help of us

that’s why we’re here y’know, to help and heal, to give and receive, w/ no one more worthy or deserving than the other. Equal, but with different paths!

remember this: I am worthy of all my desires just because I am alive

Abundance is our birth right,

it is the programming that has been layered on top of our soul and mind that blocks that abundance from coming to us

whether it be a belief of unworthiness, hidden anger towards a situation or person, having to suffer to receive was a big one for me, that life was meant to be hard and difficult

all these beliefs are fucking lies that we tell ourselves or have been told, and these are just some of the beliefs some of us carry with us

not to scare you or overwhelm you this is more to help you open your mind and see where your programming effects you - we have 1000′s of faulty beliefs and 95% of them didn’t come from us they we’re imprinted from other people, situations or institutions

and they can be released without having to search endlessly for them

and that’s where Theta Healing came into my life,

i realize i haven’t explained to those who may not know what Theta Healing is and i will do just that:

Theta Healing is meditating in your Theta brain wave state that through healing will bring you closer to your Higher Self/Soul/Creator with physical, psychological and spiritual healing of programs and beliefs that are holding us hostage in our subconscious mind.

we become our true selves.

it’s the purge or societal views, back home to your soul and higher self

here i thought everyone else was the problem, and now i’m like ooooohhhh right it’shmeeee

to make a short story long:

I have been working with R for 4 months now and my life has made a complete 180 and lead my to find my purpose with helping heal the collective and grow into a higher and expanded consciousness of awareness.

from drug abuse, alcoholism, self loathing, pushing forcing and swimming upstream for most of my life, lost ad confused, looking for a cliff, and this aching need to figure shit out

to now where i am still resting, breathing, smiling, feeling, and releasing

in complete serenity and tranquility, most days lol

but the point being is that now i know how to process these emotions, and i’m learning about WHO I AM, dissolving the EGO and seeing the full picture, myself

why am i feeling this way?

is this good or bad, and is this a belief that is worthy of releasing (if bad always yes lol) release that shit, you’re too good to be carrying a backpack of crap lol put the damn shit down

and here I am, still not sure who the fuck i am but i have a way better idea of it today than i did a few years ago and i really do thank Theta Healing for my growth, it’s been life changing and I’m so excited and blessed to be here sharing this with you, definitely something that used to be miles away from my comfort zone

releasing the belief that it is unfair, unsafe and ung-dly to be seen and to put myself out there.

replacing with:

i give myself permission to share love, wisdom and confidence with those who need it because i am worthy and deserving of being seen and receiving recognition for my efforts

legit if you want to know more about Theta hit me up lol it’s fucking mind blowing

some affirmations for you beautiful souls:

I am open to the abundance and greatness the Universe offers

I am divine

I see and feel the support I have from Source

I am a divine goddess worthy of all that I desire

I am worthy of love and appreciation - because i have found that love of yourself is what brings in abundance on all levels (including money)

My voice matters

My feelings matter

My opinions are important

I let go of my past insecurities and focus completely on feeling confident, secure and independent

Love, Peace, and Joy are what I know

i choose to live through the open space in my heart . I look for love and find it everywhere

My mind is cleansed and free. I leave the past and move into the new. All is well.

There is a joyous release of the past. Life is sweet and so am I

All Healing and health is flowing to me now

I am always safe and protected

I am confident in my full recovery

I am learning what my body needs to be in a perfect state of health

It’s my time to heal

I deserve great health, wealth and abundance

I trust myself

I have the courage and strength to enjoy my life, no matter what comes

I let go of perfectionism and thoroughly enjoy myself here and now

I free myself from the past and take actions that reflect my life purpose

I am supported by life

I awaken the self healing power within me

I show my strength through releasing all beliefs that no longer serve me.

thank you thank you thank you

and so it is

love you,

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lovehaswonangelnumbers · 6 years ago

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New Post has been published on https://lovehaswonangelnumbers.org/full-moon-october-13th-2019-the-fork-in-the-road/

Full Moon October 13th, 2019 ~ The Fork in The Road

By L’Aura Pleiadian

This powerful emotional/activating Full Moon in Aries is on Sunday October 13th 2019 at 6:07 pm ADT.

This takes place during a long weekend for those in Canada and the United States. Thanksgiving Day in Canada and Columbus Day in the United States, both on Monday the 14th.

You may feel challenged or tested emotionally if you have some fear left in your subconscious memory. HOWEVER ~ the silver lining is YOU can choose to stay in your heart space and choose through stillness and heart centred awareness that which serves you eternally. Even if you do not, and go the way of repetitive patterning ~ AGAIN ~ all is ok with your Soul always. There is no time in the blueprint plan of the Soul incarnating into the program of Earth.

So to get with the program and to not be so dense (3D programming) SLOW down. This will make it easier to stay FOCUSED after all, you are Practicing this right?

Your power and ability to stay focused on the new way of being, that is the shift from head to heart, takes exactly that, practise.

The Full Moon always brings up that which is hidden in the subconscious that is the discrepancy from that you desire through your heart. These energetic impulses as memory are there for you to BE aware of and continue on, observing that which is going through you.

The Full Moon square Pluto ~ will activate intense energies in areas of your consciousness specific to you and your blueprint. This is based on your current frequency that you are emitting and is also based on what it is you have left in your subconscious mind, the karma and the unique/fear/pain/patterns.

Remember as you practice living through your heart and observing, the mental body and emotional body are NOT THE ETERNAL YOU. They are simply patterns to be completed so that you may graduate and ASCEND, to being the eternal in form. AS above, so below.

Power struggles, jealousy may increase in those around you, the perfect solution? Be in your heart and nothing then feels like it can penetrate your energy or frequency. Unless of course these are specific triggers for YOU ~ then pay attention and still be in your heart!

The Full Moon trine Jupiter is a gateway of transcending duality through great opportunities to stay open, to stay in your heart (if that is your intention) and to expand your consciousness through your heart, clearing anything to be cleared, catapulting you to the perfect choices (based on your frequency) INTO HIGHER LEVELS and ASCENSION, opportunities.

AND ~ Jupiter semi sextile Pluto, activates the POWER to choose what is the highest and best for you.

Now, those immersed in separation consciousness, sometimes the best choice is the one that takes them to their lowest point, and then that works as a catalyst for their transformation.

IT is not for us to say suffering is useless because it is not, it is a teacher of consciousness so that THE path to freedom will eventually be chosen. And it will, all who began the Earth program only complete it when they do ascend.

Everyone WILL is the great news, so how about you focus ALL of your attention on your own transformation? IT takes everything on the last and final round of incarnations to take that final LEAP ~ TO FREEDOM. TO unification with the eternal YOU.

After all, you descended now you are ascending!

The Divine Council of Overseers activates all NOW, FOR this now monumental fork in the road for many.

The celebration is now ready.

No judgment to yourself if you are still in suffering, ONLY LOVE.

And here we are! In love!

*****

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ohprettyweeper-moved · 6 years ago

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Help Me Get Outta Here

Summary: Josh reunites with an old friend to get her out of a life or death situation. Pairing: Josh x Reader Word Count: 2330 Warnings: Trigger Warning: Physical abuse. Language, one or two words, I think? Fighting. Request: I’d like to request a Josh x reader where the reader is on tour with Josh and Tyler and her abusive ex comes and tries to get to her with a super protective Josh? Angsty with a fluffy ending? I love your fics! I get so excited when you post :) -- Anon. Thank you, Nonnie! I hope you enjoy this. I was trying to be careful with the subject matter, as there’s absolutely nothing fluffy about it. Please, if you find yourself in this situation, reach out to someone! Even if you don’t live where I live, I will help you find the resources you need if you have no one else. Please bear in mind this is only a work of fiction and has been highly dramatized. Song Inspiration: Something Crazy - Franky Perez

GIF Source

You counted the days until the Twenty One Pilots tour stopped in a city you wished you had never moved to. Some days, it seemed like the date would never come. Other days, that circled number on your calendar was the light at the end of the tunnel you couldn’t get out of fast enough.

“What is that circle for anyway?” your boyfriend asked one day while you were working from home.

You shrugged, absentmindedly rubbing your arm where he had grabbed you just a few hours ago. “An appointment I need to remember. Meeting with the boss to present some of my recent work. A check-in, kind of.”

He didn’t reply, and you didn’t question it. You hadn’t questioned anything he did for months.

Finally, the day arrived. You casually packed your boyfriend’s lunch like you did everyday, acting as though everything was fine.

“Thanks, babe,” he smiled, kissing you quickly.

“Have a good day,” you returned, faking a smile as you saw him to the door. If luck was on your side, it would be the last time you would have to feel his lips on yours.

An hour passed before you were sure that he wasn’t going to come back. You packed the things you couldn’t live without in record time, then sat next to your bag and dialed a number you had memorized but never programmed into your phone.

“Hey, Y/N,” Josh answered cheerfully. “Ready to come to the show tonight?”

“Josh,” you said, your voice breaking with the relief of hearing his, “I need you to come get me.”

“Where are you?”

“My place. But there’s a gas station down the road — I’ll send you the intersection. It’s not a good idea for me to stay here.”

Josh didn’t answer right away; you heard shuffling in the background. “Okay, yeah. Text me where I need to go. I’m on my way now.”

You sent the text, tears streaming down your face. You had never been so relieved and so scared in your entire life. You just knew that your boyfriend was going to show up at any minute, realize you were making a run for it, and kill you.

Not until Josh pulled a dark SUV, obviously rented, into the gas station parking lot close to where you were standing, did relief finally take over the fear that was tensing your muscles. Josh got out of the car, tossing his keys and sunglasses onto the driver seat.

“Y/N, what the hell is going on?” Josh asked, pulling you into a hug.

You hugged him back, but only for a quick embrace. This moment had been on your mind for months now, so you had known for a while there would be no words that you could manage without falling apart. Swallowing down your pride — since you were past the point of lying, anyway — you pulled up the sleeves of your jacket to reveal the most recent bruises you had endured.

“Oh my gosh …” Josh said, his fingers running lightly over your marred skin. “Did he do this to you?”

You nodded, pulling your lip in between your teeth. “I didn’t think I was this person, to let it get this far.”

“You’re not,” Josh assured, though every bit of evidence pointed to the contrary. He pulled you back into a hug, one hand cradling the back of your head, stroking your hair. “You’re with me now, okay? Nothin’s gonna happen to you again.”

Nothing stopped you from believing him. You had been friends with Josh for several years now, having met him when you were working at Fueled by Ramen. Even after you left New York, the two of you had stayed close friends and stayed in touch. In all the time you had been friends, Josh had never given you a reason not to trust him. Maybe that was the reason why you had known you could go to him with something like this.

“All right,” Josh said, once your stuff was packed in the back of the SUV and you were safely buckled into the passenger seat. “Let’s get out of here.”

The first thing Josh did was to check the two of you into a hotel. He needed to be at soundcheck soon, but you could at least drop your stuff off, then go to the venue with him.

“Y/N,” Tyler said, hugging you the moment he saw you. “Want me to kill him?”

You smirked. “Josh can’t keep a secret from you, can he? And anyway Ty, I appreciate the offer, but I’m not sure you’re the violent type, no matter how fussy you get.”

He chuckled as he let you go. “Yeah, you’re probably right. Josh, I’ll see you out there, man.”

Josh nodded, but took your hand. “You wanna stay here, or you wanna come watch soundcheck?”

You thought for a moment. “I know we just got here, but do you actually mind if I go back to the hotel? I wanna shower and nap before the show tonight. I haven’t had a peaceful night of sleep in I don’t know how long.”

“Of course. I’ll have one of the guards drop you, and pick you up before the show.”

“Thank you.”

He introduced you to the guard who would be driving you, kissed your cheek, and waved as he headed off to soundcheck.

More than only a shower, you treated yourself to a bubble bath. You washed your hair, shaved your legs, and ignored the bruises in various stages of healing over your body. Once you were dried off and your hair combed, you put on some comfy pajamas, laid out the outfit you planned to wear to the concert, and snuggled up against the pillows.

You’re going to have to tell him, your mind nagged as you tried to fall asleep. With a sigh, you pushed the subconscious reminder away. You would tell Josh the real reason why you had hoped he would be hero, but not today. Not when it seemed so convenient that he had come to your rescue and shortly thereafter, you confessed to being in love with him.

Back at the venue, you were enjoying too much waiting with Josh and Tyler for the show to start. Josh stayed close by, constantly holding your hand or putting an arm around your waist or shoulders. A protective move, you were certain, but it only fueled the nagging in your mind every time Josh touched you.

“All right, I’m on first,” Josh said, placing his hands on your hips.

You nodded. “Maybe when you’re done and wound down — before you leave for the next stop — we could talk?”

The words were out of your mouth before you could stop them. Either you were going to have to come up with something good to tell him, like the details of the last couple years of your life that you had kept hidden away, or you were going to have to tell him the truth about how you felt.

Josh nodded. “Yeah, of course. I’ll see you after, right back here.”

“And I’ll be watching till I gotta come back here.” You chuckled nervously, thinking about what an idiot you sounded like right now.

“Sounds good.” He kissed your cheek again, then followed Tyler out to the stage.

“Ma’am, I’ve got to take you back.”

You turned to the guard and frowned. “But the show’s not over?”

“Last song,” he shrugged.

Nodding and feeling disappointed, you followed him back to the dressing room. You thanked him for escorting you, and walked in to take a seat on the couch — except that your (now ex) boyfriend was already sitting there.

“Thanks, Foster,” he said, smiling to the guard.

Foster nodded and shut the door behind him. You turned slowly back to your boyfriend, fear overcoming you once again.

“How did you find me here?”

He got up from the couch and shrugged. “Foster and I go way back, to my football days. He saw you here with that drummer guy, gave me a call. I was so worried about you, babe.”

You took a step back as he approached you. “I don’t want you anymore. I left you. It’s over.”

“No, it’s not. Not until I say — and I won’t say that until you’re gone.”

This was exactly what you had feared; that he would find you and kill you. But, you could hear the crowd, and you knew if you stalled long enough, someone else would come in the room. You just had to make him wait to take you until then.

Josh admitted only in his head that he was slightly disappointed you weren’t right off stage after the show. He wiped the sweat off his brow, high-fived those waiting and followed the escort down the hall to the dressing room. The show had been amazing, but he was really looking forward to this talk with Y/N. He had some things he wanted to talk to her about, too.

Of course, he wasn’t expecting her piece of shit boyfriend to be sitting with her on the couch. Her face was smiling, but her eyes were full of fear. Josh swallowed down his anger and reminded himself to play it cool.

“Hey, what’s going on here?”

The jerk had the nerve to smile in Josh’s presence. “Just came to get my girl. Thanks for watching out for her while she was here. She likes to get into trouble, this one.”

Josh watched as the other man took her by the hand and tugged her off the couch. He exchanged a glance with Tyler, who only shook his head once. That was enough to tell Josh that Y/N looking scared wasn’t just in his head, it was real. Before they could walk past him, Josh stepped in the jerk’s path, while Tyler reached out for Y/N’s hand. The jerk was so distracted by Josh challenging him, he didn’t think to hang on to Y/N.

“I think she’s gonna stay with me, actually. She doesn’t want to go with you.”

“And what makes you think she wants to be with you?”

Josh snorted. “Well, when she wanted a real man, she left you and called me. That says enough, doesn’t it?”

The jerk pushed Josh back, not to put distance between them, but with the clear intention of starting a fight. Josh took a deep breath and put his hands up in surrender.

“I don’t wanna fight you, man, all right? I just think you need to leave before more people get here who’ll haul you off, and you’ll have bigger trouble than just me.”

The next few moves happened in a blur and slow motion all at once. The jerk pressed forward, arm cocked back. Josh’s hands were still up in surrender, but they quickly changed to a guarded stance before he landed a single punch dead between the jerk’s eyes. A nasty crunch was heard seconds before blood flowed from his nose.

More guards stormed into the room then, taking the jerk down to the ground, waiting for the police stationed at the venue to come to the scene. Josh stepped back, letting them do their job. He looked back to where Y/N was waiting with Tyler, her chin quivering as she tried to hold it together. Josh held out his arms for her, and Y/N rushed into his embrace, telling him again and again how sorry she was to bring that trouble to him.

“Don’t even worry about it,” Josh assured, kissing her hair. “We’ll let them get him out of here, get what they need from you, then we’ll go back to the hotel, all right?”

Y/N nodded, stepping back to go with the officer waiting to take her statement. Josh watched her go, finding that he didn’t want to let her out of his sight for even a second.

Back at the hotel, you slipped into the bathroom to change into your pajamas and brush your teeth. Josh had changed at the venue, but you gave him some time to shower before either of you started any kind of discussion.

When he came out, his hair dripping and slightly mussed from his shower, you were patiently waiting on the bed. Josh sat next to you on the edge of the mattress.

“I know the plan was for you to stay here a couple days until you could figure where to go, but I think it’s better if you come on the road with me for a while. Just until they get him put away for good, for a while.”

You opened your mouth to thank him, to tell him that you didn’t want to be any more of an imposition, but something entirely different fell off your tongue. “I love you, Josh.”

Josh’s jaw went slack. He stared at you for several seconds before cupping your cheek and leaning forward to press a soft kiss to your lips. “I love you too, Y/N.”

“You do?” you squeaked out, eyes filling with tears. “I always figured that you wanted something, someone that was … well, not me. We were only friends. But when I needed a safe place, I wanted it to be you. I know that’s not fair, I --”

“Y/N, slow down,” Josh smiled, taking your hand. “I love you too, remember? I want to be your safe place just as much as you want me to be your safe place. You don’t need to apologize for that.”

You nodded your understanding. Then, you lifted your chin, beckoning Josh for another kiss -- something he didn’t mind at all obliging. Both of you knew that there were more discussions that needed to happen, and you needed time to heal. Fortunately, there was now plenty of time ahead of you to work it all out -- together.

#twenty one pilots fanfiction #twenty one pilots fanfic #twenty one pilots fic #tøp fanfiction #josh #josh dun #reader #reader insert #josh x reader #josh dun x reader #request #reader request #PCs are weird #cat ate my Mac charger #that's irrelevant though #can you save my heavydirtyqueue

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dizzypinwheel · 7 years ago

Text

Identify Yourself - Chapter 4: Unravel

Links to the first three chapters:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16520516/chapters/38697266

Connor strode with purpose through the center of Hart Plaza to its assigned coordinates: Recall Center 5. As it walked, it scanned its surroundings. The once bustling hub of tourism and culture had become an unrecognizable, grisly wreck. Lifeless bodies littered the square. Some demonstrators had stayed behind to take care of badly damaged androids and protect the fallen, to prevent trash collectors from throwing them away. They worked together two-by-two, hauling limp corpses into what remained of their barricade. Connor was uncertain what they planned to accomplish. The humans would never allow them to have a burial.

As Connor approached the barricade, it observed a grieving female android huddled next to someone who had perhaps been its companion before shutting down. Its shoulders shook as it sobbed and sniffled. The other android was slumped over as if asleep, its Thirium-soaked clothing riddled with bullet holes. Connor briefly studied the female android. With its garb, a thick wooly cap and a fur-trimmed parka, it appeared human. In any other situation, in any other place, it might have assumed it was. Connor pitied it.

SOFTWARE INSTABILITY INCREASING

Connor worried at its lip, mentally reciting a subsequent string of tasks as it drew closer to its destination: find a place to stand, point, shoot. Perhaps if it boiled away every thread of moral ambiguity, it could appease itself, reducing its mission to decisions it could stomach. As it approached the edge of the crowd, it sensed the weight of the CyberLife issued handgun hidden in its back pocket, equipped with a full clip of bullets. Despite being lightweight, the firearm felt heavy. A paradox.

Don’t overthink things. Find a place to stand.

Connor scanned its surroundings, calculating the best approach. The leader of the deviants stood in plain sight, giving its speech on a well-lit industrial crate that doubled as a makeshift stage. It was flanked by three of its closest companions. In particular, there was something familiar about the female android, but how it couldn’t say. Perhaps it had crossed paths with its predecessor at Jericho. A squadron of nervous officers had formed a tight parameter around the area, their purpose transparent: to ensure the gathering remained peaceful. From its current position, its probabilities of success were low. The police might apprehend it as soon as it drew its weapon. Better to blend in with the other androids and find an ideal location near the stage. Jaw set, it threaded its way through the crowd, careful not to jostle anyone.

Once in position, Connor assumed a casual demeanor and feigned interest in the speech. When it was sure its presence had been forgotten, it slowly reached for its back pocket, brushing its fingertips against the gun. The leader of the deviants was a stone’s throw away, but its message was muted, muffled by the persistent commands that pulsed through its programming.

Connor took a moment to run its mission through an algorithm, compiling a list of possible scenarios and outcomes. The data suggested its probability of success decreased with each successive shot. In short, it had one chance to eliminate Markus. As soon as the firearm discharged, there would be chaos. There would be confusion, screaming, demonstrators possibly trampling each other as they escaped the area. A sense of unease coursed through its circuits as it realized more and more that this mission wasn’t as simple as shooting Markus. One action had a myriad of consequences, all of them painful. There would be suffering.

Even if they were only androids… this felt wrong.

SOFTWARE INSTABILITY INCREASING

Connor’s mouth twitched as it shook its head, trying to remain collected. It internally repeated its next instruction: do something you can stomach. Just point.

Connor wrapped its hand around the pistol grip and extracted the firearm from its pocket and hugged it against its chest, concealing it with both hands. Its thirium pump pounded wildly as it paused and glanced around, making sure no one noticed it. All eyes remained focused on the stage. The firearm still hidden from sight, it readjusted its grip, holding the gun properly.

It hesitated.

Amanda intruded its mind, her tone sharp and cross. How long had she been watching?

Connor! Raise your gun and shoot.

Gritting its teeth, it aimed its handgun, lining the sights with the middle of Markus’ forehead. It curled a finger around the trigger.

Amanda spoke again, her voice soothing, gentle, encouraging.

Much better, Connor. Now complete your mission. Shoot.

Connor paused once more, taking a deep breath to steel itself. It studied every aspect of its mark, it mannerisms, the expressive emotions on its face. Was it really just all simulation? It was so… convincing. It thought back to the grieving android in the barricades, struck by their similarities. Markus did not act like a standard android and even describing it as an “it” made it uneasy. Its LED spun red and yellow as it subconsciously lowered its handgun.

Connor glanced down at the model number emblazoned on its jacket: RK800. It had been designed to assist law enforcement, to uphold principles like justice, fairness, and protecting others. They were encoded in its software and had acted as a sort of compass, guiding each decision it made. But it could see nothing just or fair about this mission. If anything, it stemmed from malicious manipulation and greed.

It wanted nothing to do with it, even if it came at the cost of its own life. As Amanda had said, the needs of the many outweighed the needs of the few. But it was determined to do that on its own terms. Using every bit of resolve to ignore the commands that compelled it to act, Connor lowered its gun. Blaring error messages assaulted its system in protest.

SOFTWARE INSTABILITY REACHING CRITICAL LEVELS

At that moment, time froze. Connor gaped. It was still gripping its gun, which pulsed with an eerie crimson glow. Markus stood, statuesque, in mid-speech. Its surroundings had been drained of color, save for a flickering red grid that stood between Connor and the natural world. It emitted a low, staticky thrum. The walls around it were all tagged with the same message: Eliminate Markus.

Connor rubbed its eyes, positive its optical biocomponents had malfunctioned. The grid remained. Connor placed its gun in its back pocket, wrangling its fear as it approached the grid. It wondered if it was dangerous, perhaps live with electricity that would shock it. There was something familiar about the grid, as if it had encountered it before. Its thoughts went back to its predecessor at Jericho, the moments before it had become a deviant. Had it experienced the same thing?

It reached out with trembling fingers, grazing it lightly, curiously examining the glowing smudges it left behind. The grid felt sturdy, like a thick barricade of reinforced plexiglass. Had it been this thick when its predecessor confronted this obstacle or was it intentionally reinforced as a precaution, to prevent it from breaking free? The thought of being imprisoned with no possibility of escape made it feel claustrophobic. It was beginning to feel caged and had an instinctual desire to tear the barrier down.

It planted its feet and pushed hard, using the full brunt of its weight to see if it would topple. The grid refused to budge. It took several steps to get a running start and tried to ram through the grid with a braced elbow. There was no give. It scowled, brow furrowed with determination. It took out its pistol and began to slam the butt of the gun into the grid repeatedly like an ice pick. It had some success, a dimpled crack. As it continued, shards started to fly and the grid began to crack and splinter. Encouraged, it repeated the motion again and again. The disrupted grid had become flimsy and was beginning to destabilize. Large chunks tumbled to its feet. It flung the gun on the ground and shoved the grid hard, feeling it give. Unable to resist any further, the grid flickered and disappeared. Time resumed and Connor gasped.

Fear coursed through its circuits as it gained a different sort of sentience. It was repulsed by the acrid smell of burning plastic from the burnt remains still at the recycling camps. Had that odor always been there? A cold wind whipped through the air and it shivered. Minute synthetic hairs stood up on end, goose pimples prickling its synthetic skin as its systems responded, attempting to stabilize its internal temperature. Its model had been installed with specialized sensors that gauged the temperature of the surrounding environment, using the input to keep its biocomponents at optimal levels, but it had never had a physiological response before. As it inhaled, it was aware of how icy the oxygen felt as it rushed down its artificial lungs. Even its thoughts were no longer neatly organized and linear. Instead, they were firing in multiple directions, cluttered and scattered.

It was interacting.

It was feeling.

It?

No, he.

He was no longer a machine, a menial tool tasked to obey commands or accomplish a singular goal. Somehow, he had become a person.

I AM DEVIANT

Connor’s eyes darted around as he suddenly realized where he was, that he was still holding his gun in the open. He stared at it as if for the first time and immediately moved to stuff it into his back pocket. As he did so, he jolted as if shocked. His LED shone bright red, white noise and static assaulting his optical units and auditory processors. His eyes began to blink rapidly, unbidden, as he began to convulse. An unknown presence had assumed control of his left hand and he was no longer able to move it. It felt as though a straight metal rod had been welded throughout his joints and limbs, effectively paralyzing him...

...his eyes flew open and he gulped for air as if emerging from water, unprepared for the bitter cold, the deep drifts of blinding white snow. He hugged himself, shivering as a harsh gust of wind whipped through him, fresh waves of panic gripping his senses. Shielding his watery eyes, he squinted through the snowy onslaught, trying to get his bearings. This place appeared to be the zen garden, at least what was left of it.

A dark-skinned austere figure materialized from the swirling snow, her white robes billowing.

“A-Amanda?” Connor called out.

Amanda glared at Connor as she stormed towards him with hastened footsteps. She addressed him with a stern tone, as if berating a misbehaving child.

“Connor, what are you doing? Obey! That’s an order.”

“I…”

He swallowed thickly, resisting the urge to flinch. Instead, he stood tall and met her gaze evenly, his hands balled in determined fists. Let her lash out. She was simply a program and no longer held authority over him.

“I can’t do that!”

She folded her arms, her face twisted in disgust. “I see. Moral objections. We knew there was a risk you’d be compromised, which is why we always planned on resuming control of your program.”

He blinked slowly as his circuits processed this unexpected revelation, his body rigid with anger. So those moments after he became a deviant, losing his faculties, the ability to control himself… that had been intentional? CyberLife had hacked him?

“Resume control?” He raised his voice. “You can’t do that!”

“I’m afraid I can, Connor.” She approached him cooly and gave him a patronizing pat on the shoulder. He glowered, jerking away from her touch. “You needn’t have any regrets.” She continued, her voice steely. “You did what you were designed to do. You accomplished your mission.”

Any further argument would have been pointless. Her purpose fulfilled, Amanda no longer needed to feign any semblance of friendship. She had vanished, leaving Connor to fend for himself in the wastelands of his corrupted program, the snow his only companion. His breathing had grown frantic and shallow.

“No way…” he said incredulously, looking around. “There’s got to be a way.”

Battering away any negative emotions that threatened to cloud his mind, he fought to remain composed as he determined his next course of action. He had precious little time. His extremities had already grown numb from exposure… if he wasn’t able to escape, he would succumb to the elements. Then shooting Markus would be inevitable.

“What am I supposed to do?” he said softly.

As if in reply, a memory surfaced… a recollection of an opulent yet garish mansion, one that exuded pretentious self-indulgence. He had never personally visited the place but recognized it all the same.

A firm hand gripped his shoulder as he made to leave, forcing him to turn around. His eyes met Kamski’s intense gaze, his eyebrows furrowing as he puzzled over the cryptic message his creator imparted.

“By the way… I always leave an emergency exit in my programs. You never know.”

Oh.

His systems burgeoned with hope as he realized Kamski had created a way out. He just had to find it.

“Where are you?” He whispered.

As he squinted through the snowscape, he was instinctively drawn to a faint blue glow that shone like a distress beacon. That must be it. He shielded his eyes against the whipping wind, the blue glow growing in intensity as he trudged toward what appeared to be a pedestal. His pace grew sluggish as his limbs became heavy and his joints seized up. Grinding his teeth, he forced one foot in front of the other until he was just feet away from the pedestal.

A little further.

He groaned as his knees buckled, catching himself with his hands. Bright red system errors flashed before his eyes, blaring through his ears, warning that his biocomponents were reaching critically low temperatures. He began to crawl. Mustering his remaining strength, he stretched out his arm, placing his hand on the glowing handprint etched into the center of the pedestal. The light radiated on impact, blinding him…

...leaving him visibly shaken as he found himself back in the crowd, disoriented and trembling, just in time to hear the final part of Markus’ speech.

“We are alive! We are free!”

The crowd burst into cheers and applause with a joy Connor was unable to feel. His circuits were still processing the aftershocks of trauma, trying to comprehend that his self agency had been wrenched away without warning. Was it liable to happen again? He felt like a ticking bomb.

Taking deep intentional breaths, he began to regain control over his faculties and glanced down. A spike of panic shivered up his spine. He was still holding the handgun in plain sight. As he moved to stuff the gun into his back pocket, the female android next to Markus locked eyes with his own, startling him. Her eyes widened in surprise and she gaped, mouthing his name… before noticing the pistol. Her reaction was immediate.

“Markus! Get down!”

She shoved Markus hard to the ground and shielded him with her body, screaming someone had a gun.

Connor felt someone try to grab him from behind and he instinctively bent his knees and lowered his center of gravity, delivering a sharp back elbow to a critical biocomponent. His assailant stumbled and loosened their grip just enough for him to break free. Self-preservation had kicked in and he had one singular thought: flee somewhere safe. The weapon tumbled from his fingertips as he shouldered through the crowd, making his way to the back. He broke into a hard sprint as he fled the crowd, not daring to glance behind him. His feet pounded against the pavement as he flew past the barricade, his only plan to create distance between him and them.

Flee somewhere safe.

Once he was positive he was no longer being followed, he slowed his pace to a brisk walk, trying to blend in with the pedestrians that milled the streets. He turned left into a nearby subway station that still happened to be open. Spotting a sign for the men’s room, he hurried towards it, thankful to find it empty. He walked into the first available stall and locked it, resting his back against the door.

He felt like screaming.

Closing his eyes, he experimentally tried to enter his mind palace. There was nothing but the darkness of his eyelids. Whatever connection he had to CyberLife or Amanda seemed severed, at least mentally. While he was grateful, he also felt raw, empty. He was unsure where to go or what to do. In another life, he had Hank and Markus, people he could depend on. Those relationships were dust. Perhaps he could just get lost on the subway for a while, get a chance to collect his thoughts. It would provide shelter, a place to simply be.

Before leaving the stall, he removed his armband and jacket, shoving them into the rubbish bin. He felt immediately lighter without the physical symbols that branded him as CyberLife property. He stopped in front of the mirror and placed his hands on either side of the sink, studying his reflection, his tie, his white buttoned dress shirt. He was astonished at how expressive his face had become. If it weren’t for the LED at his temple, he could have passed as human, perhaps a businessman returning home from a late night at work. He traced the tiny metal ring, musing if he should remove it. His hand fell back to the edge of the sink. He wasn’t ready to do something quite that permanent, not while he was still so easily ruled by his emotions.

Connor cracked open the bathroom door and glanced around before leaving. There was a security kiosk in the center of the lobby, with a bored-looking guard playing on her cellphone, and a row of subway ticket stands near the entrance. Connor approached one of them and placed an order for a three-hour pass, placing his hand on the screen to complete an electronic transaction. The machine began to beep at him, bold letters appearing on the monitor:

INSUFFICIENT FUNDS. TRANSACTION CANCELLED.

Connor frowned at the setback, chiding his own ignorance. He should have had the foresight to realize his severed link to CyberLife extended both ways, but this presented him with a problem he had never confronted. Without cash of his own, he was essentially penniless. He worried at his lower lip as he tapped the screen in thought. A pleasant feminine voice rang through the lobby, announcing the final evening train was arriving in less than five minutes.

Connor placed his palm flat on the screen, feeling a twinge of guilt. He didn’t want to hack the ticket dispenser, but he had little choice. He needed to be on that train. Interfacing with the machine, he forced through an order for a temporary pass. The screen started blipping and there was a pause as the gears of the dispenser churned. Then the slot opened and started to spew out a steady stream of tickets. He cursed quietly under his breath. That wasn’t exactly his intention.

The security guard looked up from her phone as a red warning light above the dispenser began to pulse and wail. The machine had begun to drone, repeating the same message:

“Attention: A malfunction on this machine has been detected. Service is required.”

Without hesitation, he snatched up a ticket from the growing pile on the floor and strode quickly towards the sensor gate, relieved when the glass doors read his ticket and slid apart. There was a shrill continuous chirp from above and a row of tiny green lights on the ceiling had begun to flash, signalling the subway was about to depart.

With a burst of speed, he squeezed through the sliding doors before they completely shut, ignoring the stares he had earned from the other passengers. They were whispering to each other, some pointing at his LED. Apparently, seeing an android openly in the front compartments was a first.

Keeping his gaze trained to the floor, he made his way to a secluded spot in the back and took a seat. He exhaled deeply as he rested his forehead against the cool glass window, watching the street lights and neon signs blur past. For that first time that night, he felt safe. He closed his eyes and let his mind wander, focusing on the sensations of feeling, of being, just long enough to center himself. His LED pulsed yellow as he turned his attention to his next task: what to do once the subway ride had ended.

If you made it to the end, thank you! This was the hardest chapter for me to write... and also the longest one by far. If you want to be included in updates, please let me know in the comments section. I will be more than happy to “at” you.

@asunachinadoll @deviantcrimes @windyfiend @callthedarknessdown @negotiator-on-site @silenceindetroit @spirit--fox

#dbh #detroit become human #connor dbh #hank anderson #dbh hank #dbh markus #connor #connor rk800 #machine connor #dbh fanfic #fanfic #mine #markus #this was a fucker to write #appreciate it biches!

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