#his actions are often self-destructive because he thinks more about others than himself

[dragonmuse]

Keep It In The Box : An Essay on OFMD Season 2 and the Failure to Heal

(here in is my season two reaction. It contains many many spoilers. It's also about 3k words long so you know what you're getting into.)

“See, I have a system for dealing with all the terrible things I've seen. There's a box in my mind, and I put the things in the box..” -Frenchie, Season 2 of Our Flag Means Death

…..and then he never opens it. Chekov’s locked box has no key in season two.

On first watch, it seemed clear to me that Frenchie’s declaration was a narrative plant. Clearly the whole season would be about that box of pain and trauma being opened, sorted through and at least the beginning of healing. The show had developed a reputation after season one of being kind and focused on queer narratives of healing from childhood. Ed and Stede’s parallels in their childhood traumas were frequently on display through season one and were repeated in flashback throughout season two. Jim’s season one arc about becoming someone who doesn’t think just of revenge and can now forge meaningful connections was profound, beautiful and often funny. Izzy is an antagonist because he doesn’t want Ed to move on or stop acting like the trauma-response version of himself. The antagonist wants to stop healing. The point is to grow, to change, to learn how to love. It’s one of the things that made season one work for me at the time, despite reservations about pacing and tone.

So naturally season two should follow suit. It’s a kind show! About healing and falling in love!

For the first several episodes, the remaining crew on the Revenge go through a gauntlet of trauma, forced to do and receive violence at Ed’s whims as he careens from self-destructive behavior to self-destructive behavior. This is the wounding setup. It was dark, but it seemed like it would have a payoff and at first it did.

Perhaps one of the most beautiful moments of the season comes in one of the small respites in those early episodes as Jim recounts Pinnochio to Fang to soothe him through his grief. That was the show that I expected. The kindness of that moment struck me very deeply. It gave me some understanding of Archie too, who seems to fall for Jim right at that moment.

That scene is the show season one promised. Season two led with packing Frenchie’s box full to bursting. Here is the fight to the death between lovers, there is a first mate who is mutilated and rotting in the very walls (the rot of the Revenge itself), and there is the storm of Ed’s rage and pain that threatens to consume all of them.

So surely these remaining episodes would concentrate on finding the humor in healing from those moments. That is the setup. Frenchie has a box. The box must eventually open.

Except time and again, all the characters who suffered are told that the only way to deal with what they’ve been through is to stick it in the box and never open it again.

Pete tells Lucius that he’s unable to move on and needs to let it go. Izzy has a story about a shark. Ed’s apology to the crew which doesn’t even contain the words ‘I’m sorry’ is just…accepted. I kept waiting and waiting for a meaningful apology to the people Ed had hurt the worst with his actions, but it seems all we get is Fang saying ‘eh, no problem, I got to hit you back so I feel better’.

The playful theme of ‘pirates are just violent sometimes’ from season one becomes a grinding horror machine in season two when every atrocity visited on someone is forgiven because the narrative needs it to be. Ed and Stede spend more time making amends with each other over the bloodless night on the beach than either of them spend trying to repent for their actions towards anyone else.

And let’s talk about Ed. Arguably this season pivots on his narrative, on his path to healing and growth. A path that starts at a very low point. His moment in the gravy basket, deciding he wants to live because there are still things to live for is so great! So one might assume that what would follow would be him pursuing those things, making amends, making connections. He and Stede have a wonderful moment, talking about being whim prone and how they’ll work to avoid that, build a relationship by going slower.

Yet, at no point do either of them stop following whims. They never heal or learn from what’s happened to them. They both keep running from thing to thing, particularly Ed. It’s a whim to sleep with Stede, it’s a whim to run off to fish, and the finale gives us just more of their whims. Ed drops fishing as fast as he picked it up. He finds those leathers in the ocean, murdering the symbolism of leaving them behind. Even the inn is a whim, one of those things Ed decided he’d be good at without evidence. And Stede joins him in that without a single on screen conversation about it ahead of the moment.

Ed needs to heal himself and to do that he needs to confront what he’s done and do the work to heal the wound. Instead, he doesn’t meaningfully apologize to anyone, besides Stede and Fang. Despite Izzy’s dying words (we’ll get to that), not only do we never see the crew caring about Ed, working to make him family in the same way they do with Fang and even Izzy, he also doesn’t choose to stay with them. So what is the point? Where is the healing? Or does even Ed, beloved main character, have to live with it all stuffed in a box?

He ends the season in the leathers he threw away, in a relationship that’s barely stabilized, going to live in a house which we are told by the narrative (in that they are very very clearly paralleling Anne and Mary with Ed and Stede or why do we even get that whole Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? episode) will only end in them setting fire to each other to stay warm.

But Vee, I hear you cry, it’s a ROM-COM. This is all meant to be ha-ha funny and you are taking it so seriously!

Cool beans. Then why the hell isn’t it funny? Healing is often filled with comedy because people deal with pain with humor. You can heal and laugh at the same time. The finale especially is almost entirely devoid of laughs, almost entirely devoid of joy until the last minute for that matter. The episode that should show off with a flourish how far everyone’s come, mostly serves to show that no one has grown.

Okay that’s Ed. I want to talk about Lucius next. Our former audience surrogate (that’s taken away in season two when he doesn’t get enough screen time to perform that role and no one takes his place) really goes through the wringer. He experiences many many terrible things, including sexual assault (which is made into a grimace-laugh line that doesn’t take away from it’s seriousness because oh hey, that can be done as it turns out). He’s nervous, he’s smoking, it’s clear he’s suffering.

There’s a beautiful moment where Pete tells him ‘hey, I was also in pain. I grieved’ and that’s great. It’s good that Pete sets a boundary about Lucius not obsessing over the past to the point of occluding their future.

We even get our comedic moment where Lucius pushes Ed off the boat (still not apology, but I’d lost hope for that by then) and that doesn’t help enough. So Izzy comes in with a shark and the advice that you just have to move on.

Just…you know. Play pretend. Forget.

Shove it in a box. Ed didn’t take my leg, a shark did. Ed didn’t kill you, a shark did. Live with the person that tried to murder you because it’s your fault you dangled your leg over the side of a boat. That is the show’s message. I thought on first watch, that surely this would also come back up and be explained that you can’t live that way, that that is no way to heal. That it would become clear that this was no way through. You cannot make everything into sharks.

Lucius can move forward and still carry pain. He can still want a meaningful apology and still want to talk to his lover about what he’s dealing with while moving forward toward a brighter future.

And what of the flirtatious promise of relationships and connections being the way to heal? Look to Oluwande and Jim, whose heartfelt romance from season one was relegated to the bins of history in favor of a narrative that made him a brother Jim once had sex with. They could have had Archie AND Oluwande, who in turn could also have Zheng, but that never seems to be an option. With a single short conversation, they are broken up with, despite a brief tease at the birthday that they still ‘dance’ together, it never actually manifests. Jim and Archie never talk about what they went through. It’s swept under the rug as fast as knives are lowered.

Lucius also no longer flirts with other people, the solution to his pain is to propose and get married (but not too married, lest we forget that they’re two men, they don’t even get to be husbands or even the more respectful mates, no. They’re mateys.) This season proposes that the only happy endings are monogamous ones, where no one talks about anything painful that went before.

To ensure that message, beyond assuring the success of Oluwande and Zheng’s relationship, Jim and Archie almost entirely disappear from the narrative. Sorry you guys were given layers of trauma and no growth and not even much to do this season, we need to make sure that everyone remembers Oluwande is the break in Zheng’s day so when he says that to her five minutes later we know exactly what he’s referencing. No time for Archie to learn what an apology is or for Jim to get one line in with Oluwande that isn’t affirming their newfound broship. Must do more flashbacks to things we just did two episodes ago!

The show even dangles the conversation of the Revenge being a safe space. Why would any of them ever feel safe when the man who tortured them is allowed to walk among them and they are expected to forgive and forget? What’s safe about that? The ship is never made safe for any of them, but that’s never addressed.

And Zheng! Amazing, hysterically funny Zheng! She loses her ships, her entire way of life, the kingdom she built for herself and then…she doesn’t even get to captain the Revenge. We don’t know what becomes of her fleet, of her plans, her ambitions. Don’t worry about it, she has a romantic partner and isn’t that what every lady wants in the end?

(But Vee, I hear you cry again, there will be a season three! Maybe it will be All About Zheng! To which I say: then why did they present us with the most series finale feeling episode ever? If there’s more, I have no idea where it’s going. BUT VEE: BUTTONS AS SEAGULL ON THE GR- Fine. It’s time.)

Let’s talk about Izzy Hands.

Izzy manages more healing than anyone else this season. He reaches his lowest point, suicidal in the bowels of a ship that’s become a prison (very much in contrast to Ed’s suicidal low). The person he loves most in the world has shredded him physically and emotionally (and if you’re in the camp that thinks Izzy deserves the abuse that Ed gave to him, I would really like you to sit quietly with yourself and ask why you think there is ever anything anyone can do to deserve that treatment). He’s low, he shoots Ed to protect everyone, and then seems to plan to drink himself to death, mourning his losses.

And then another beautiful moment! The crew move past their own pain to help him. They work together for the first time and it’s to give Izzy mobility back. He treasures it. He cries over it. He uses that kindness extended to him to reach a new understanding of Stede and help him succeed, doing the work to make real amends. He sings in drag, he’s vulnerable and beautiful, celebrating the side of himself that he must’ve loathed in the first season. He’s an elder queer man, coming into himself.

He never gets an apology though. (‘Sorry about your leg’ without eye contact is not an apology. There is no responsibility taking, no acknowledgement of the weeks of torture that came with it.) Izzy also never really has an honest conversation with anyone about what it means that the man he loves punished him so severely for the crime of trying to protect the crew (yes, lest we forget, Izzy lost his leg because he was trying to keep Ed from re-traumatizing the crew and himself).

Izzy does all this work, but even he’s not allowed to take it out of the box. It’s a shark, not Ed. Ed is just ‘complicated’ (the language of abuse here is so upsetting and I think not even intentional).

And then he dies. His last act? To apologize to the man who tortured him and shot at him. To have done all this work, to take on all the blame. And then die.

In a rom com.

This show ends in a profoundly unfunny moment of telling the audience: this is the one character that did the work, that made amends, that tried his hardest to accept the parts of himself that he had a hard time embracing and formerly embittered him. He’s fully accepted his queerness and turned it into beautiful music. He’s disabled, and he worked hard to accept that. The man he loves will never love him back, so he worked hard to make Stede able to meet Ed on an even playing field. The Giving Tree gave up its limbs and its trunk, and it’s not even allowed to be a stump to sit on.

Kill the queer elder, who has managed to figure out how to live and in his own way how to heal. Kill him before he manages to teach anyone else how to meaningfully move forward (he almost gets it with Lucius, almost, but it’s meant to be rule of three, you know. Cigarette..shark…and then…and then fuck it, Lucius doesn’t even get to say a word at his funeral).

The message of this season again and again is that there is no healing, just moving forward. Like a shark. Like a bird that never lands.

That is not a kind show.

Season two is not a kind season.

It splinters people up and jams them back together without purpose or reason. It tells everyone who experiences pain that they should shove it in a box and not deal with it. No one who really needs one gets an apology of any sincerity. No one puts in the work to gain forgiveness. (Ed wearing a onesie is not The Work. Ed fixing a door is not The Work. Ed broke people that the show wants us to care about. Ed never does the work of making those amends. He fires off a Notes app apology at best. After all, it’s what he told himself via Hornigold in the gravy basket: you move on or you blow your brains out! Good thing he took his own advice and therefore had to change nothing to get his just rewards.

I would’ve taken just fifteen minutes of Ed trying to actually make amends. It could’ve been hilarious! Imagine awkward Ed trying to dance around what he’s doing with Jim and the two of them having a knife throwing competition about it. Or him and Frenchie attempting to make music together, writing a song about the raids they went on! It’s not just the crew robbed of their healing because of this, it’s Ed himself. He never meaningfully changes or makes amends. How is he any different at the end of the finale then he is standing on the edge of that cliff with Hornigold? He hasn’t moved on, he hasn’t healed. He tried one thing (fishing) that doesn’t fucking work and then he runs right back.

No one leaves this season better than they went into it. They’ve lost an elder queer, they’ve lost their joyous and queer polyamory, they’ve lost a chance for meaningful reconciliation with Ed and Ed lost any chance of looking like he gave shit if they did. Stede grows enough to accept the crew’s beliefs as important and then leaves them behind without a care.

Izzy gets a beautiful speech about piracy being larger than yourself. Ed and Stede, within twenty minutes of that speech, leave piracy. They are incapable of giving themselves to something bigger, apparently. They haven’t learned to be a part of a community. They haven’t healed from their childhood trauma or their fresher wounds. They are still just following their own whims.

Zheng’s life work is in tatters, but it’s fine, she has love. Oluwande and Jim aren’t together, but it's fine because they both have dedicated monogamous partners. Lucius was deeply scarred by what happened, never recovers much of his first season personality, but hey he got-well it’s not married exactly- but you know good enough!

Frenchie, who has a box forever locked in his head, is captain. Because the key to success is to lock it all in a box and never open it. What a message. What a show. Conceal, don’t feel. Smile because it’s a happy ending. Don’t mourn the dead, don’t try to tell people what happened to you (they will literally run away or cry too hard to listen and really you’re just bumming them out), and any meaningful change you make is only rewarded with death.

Frenchie is now a pirate captain with a box in his head full of trauma that’s never been opened, leading a crew with more wounds than scars. Wonder how that could turn out? Wonder how many years before he might want to retire and then happen to run across a gentleman pirate. As if no one learned anything at all.

[ceaselesswatchersspecialboy]

I’m a little nervous talking about this, but I’ve had these thoughts for a while and want to get them down somewhere, so here we are!

There’s a common discussion within TMA of the Idea of human vs monster, and where the line between that is drawn, and this discussion especially applies to the avatar’s and their feeding habits, their desires to hurt others — their hunger. But, I think, that mentality can often lead to the real question being ignored, and that’s the question or choice.

It’s a common theme within TMA, and is prominent within the Becoming of avatars, and what they do after.

A good way of understanding Jon’s feeding in s4 isn’t through the lens of how human is he, rather it’s through the lens of how similar he and Melanie are. He and Melanie act as foils to each other during s4, their actions and choices emphasising their opposing paths.

The gist of it is both wanted to hurt people. It felt good. Both admit to this fact.

And the reason they chose it, is because they’re hurting. Melanie admits to this outright. She’s been angry so long, with little else for her, lashing out and desperate to survive, and suddenly, she has this thing etched into her bones, telling her that this anger is righteous, that hurting herself and hurting others is good. Both are aware that this isn’t good, of course, but it’s so hard to let go of that little, reassuring voice, because doing so means confronting yourself, and your struggles.

I speak as someone with C-PTSD, but this is a very realistic depiction of how it feels, at least to me personally. When you’ve been so powerless for a long period of time, and suddenly, something or someone tells that it’s okay to lash out, to hurt, it’s easy to fall into the destructive cycle, because hurting other people, taking away their power, it gives you a sense of control back, a sense of power.

It isn’t right, of course it isn’t, but it just feels so good.

This is again shown by Melanie and Jon’s separate paths.

Melanie ends up choosing to recover after the bullet is removed, when she could have just as easily found a new, self-destructive path to go down, and it’s not just because the bullet was removed. Taking away her agency here takes away from her arc. She chooses to accept help and she really does work on bettering herself. She doesn’t want to hurt people anymore. Jon doesn’t do that. He feels he can’t. He’s had his power taken from him more times than he can count, been at the mercy of people and monsters, and finally, finally he has power again. He’s put in the position of the tormentor and it feels good. He finds satisfaction in it. And, as with Melanie, there’s a little voice in the back of his head telling him this is right, no matter how guilty he feels afterwards.

He makes excuses to himself, tries to rationalise his own actions as a way of coping, finding a reason to do it again because it’s all he has. It’s a comfort. Is there a supernatural element present? Absolutely! The relationship between Entity and Avatar is one that can just as much parasitic as it is symbiotic, but I think more of Jon’s character is lost by dismissing his darker choices. If anything, the darker choices emphasise his compassionate choices, and vice versa.

Jon can be a victim and still hurt other people; that’s an important thing to acknowledge. Avatars are not just their fears, there is far more to their hunger than that, and they are who they are because of their choices and wants.

Basically, Jon and Melanie are wonderfully written characters and I really love the themes of choice in TMA, can you tell?

[mask131]

I said before that Helluva Boss haters are very weird in how their perception of the show is often completely broken from the truth of what the episodes show us. And all of the haters are freaking out about the Apology Tour episode and pointing out Stolas is a rapist and the show is trying to "glorify" sexual abuse (they are LITERALY pulling off the same card they tried to pull off in Hazbin Hotel, not understanding that when you make one HUGE mistake it is preferable to not repeat your big offensive take TWICE)...

(By the way how come I keep seeing the haters freak out over the episodes that are not the actual bad ones? There are bad episodes in Helluva Boss, and yet the haters never manifest themselves when it comes to these very obvious weak spots. They just start foaming at the mouth with all the other episodes... Anyway)

So here's my point: when you look at all the rants and comments and "pseudo-analysis" of the Stolas/Blitzo relatonship, you do end up realizing that these haters either didn't watch or don't remember the way the beginning of this "sex bargain". Remember the VERY long scene showing when Blitz had sex with Stolas for the first time? Well here are the facts I see NOBODY among the haters bring out:

Blitzo was there to steal the grimoire. He tried to break into the palace to steal it, all throughout the scene he was only focused on getting the grimoire ; he only played along Stolas' ideas and "seduced" him in hope to distract him while he stole the grimoire ; and he did end up succeeding in distracting Stolas with sex to get the grimoire because... point number 2:

Notice how no bargain is struck, there is no talk of the grimoire, Stolas never realizes throughout the scene Blitzo wasn't into him but into his book, and the fact Blitz literaly snuck away with the book while Stolas was still asleep (one of the rare points of continuation from the Pilot episode) does indicate he was still stealing it without Stolas knowledge. It is very clear that their "sex bargain" was only struck AFTER this incident - and this is a part of the story the show has not covered.

Another thing of note: Blitzo tries to kill Stolas to steal the grimoire, before ending up deciding he can have sex "real quick". This is played for comedy and these are VERY clumsy murder attempts, but the biting at the neck and the breaking of the neck WERE Blitzo's attempt at murdering Stolas to steal his book. Though Blitzo clearly didn't know then that a little imp can't hurt like that a Goetia demon.

And the final point: nothing and nobody forced Blitzo to start this whole thing. Nobody forced him to steal the grimoire: he did it solely in an attempt to start his just as reckless business plan to go to Earth to kill people ; a plan and a mean for a plan which is explicitly said to be illegal in Hell, between imps being forbidden to go to Earth and the grimoire that should NOT be lended or given or used by anyone other than Stolas himself. Also nobody forced him to have sex with Stolas, he just decided to play along to cover his tracks. And that's the whole point of Blitzo's character: he is reckless, careless and doesn't think through or plans the consequences of his actions. He thinks he can just steal a grimoire from a demon-prince without realizing what it means, he goes to Earth without a disguise because he didn't study anything related to Earth travels, when caught he tries to kill Stolas without realizing it won't work... That's literaly Blitzo's character.

And as an aside note, it is also interesting to see how Blitzo and Stolas are both depicted as selfish, or more precisely not selfish but as self-centered, this is the correct term, but in very different ways. Blitzo is self-centered in a reckless, destructive, careless way - he just does what feels right on the spot without thinking of the consequences, he flees or tosses away anything he dislikes without understanding any responsibility that would come with it, he puts up dreams and projects just because he wants to without planning anything. Which is the perfect reverse/companion of Stolas who is also self-centered, but simply because he is a sheltered naive fool and a literal delusional dreamer who projects his own state of mind upon others, feeds himself with cliches and fiction rather than actual reality, and keeps switching between over-analyzing and under-analyzing everything.

And that's precisely these two forms of self-centeredness that allowed the very fucked up and messy and thorny relationship they are in to happen in the first place. Blitz thought he could steal/murder/have sex with a demon prince just to get what he wants, and that there would be no consequence or difficulty along the way ; Stolas was a dumb owl who clearly didn't understand the person in front of him was a criminal not at all into him, and mistook a robbery for some sort of romantic movie scene...

But haters choose to literaly recreate in their mind a completely different scene than what is shown to us. If you listen to their rants it will seem Stolas forced Blitzo into taking the grimoire or opening his business, or that Blitz was an innocent victim somehow dragged into Stolas palace by the rapist owl... When what we rather see is a very stupid criminal doing a very clumsy and messy robbery and ending up entangled in an uncomfortable relationship entrapment + constraining sex-deal, because he literaly didn't give a fuck about anything and tried to avoid the consequences of his actions any way he can, only to literaly get everybody's careers, lives and feelings on the line (making Moxxie and Millie's lives for example dependant on the use of a stolen good used illegally and only kept by a precarious and shady deal).

And such a character is... well literaly most of Brandon Rogers anti-heroes in his own Youtube-series, so you can clearly see how indeed he is the one writing Blitzo.

(And to those of you that claim it is unfair Blitzo gets all the shit thrown at him while Stolas gets nothing, if the leaks I got accidentally spoiled by are true... [putting this under a cut]

then don't worry dears, Stolas will also have to face the consequences of his actions, it will be HARSH, and definitively much harsher than what Blitzo is currently facing. )

[ajokeformur-ray]

Hi there, hello😊💜 I have a rather self-indulgent J question. If that's okay. But do you think he'd be protective of his s/o if he found out that they live and work in a super sketchy neighborhood? Stuff like not a single quiet night. Theft and other safety and health issues are always on the agenda, next to being worked to the bone. I'm just wondering because yeah🙃 Sending you all of my love and hugs, you're incredible🫂💖💕

Hey hi hello Sue🥺💖

Self-indulgent J questions are more than welcome, it's been a while since I got sent one!👀

I think J would be very protective of his s/o, even if they lived in a wealthy area with a low crime rate. He takes care of his possessions, his plans, so he takes extra care with you (perhaps it makes up for the lack of care he pays to his men and to himself).

With sirens blaring on almost every street, with the distant sound of smashing glass and running feet, the odd scream and frantic yell, it's not unusual for a stray car to go blazing down your road, waking you up from your threshold consciousness as distantly you wonder where your clown is. You're exhausted, worked to the bone at your job, overworked and underpaid (as are we all), and then you go home to worry about having your home broken into (by someone other than J; he likes to keep you on edge with that sometimes), to be kept awake by all of the aforementioned noises... but J protects you, even and especially when you think he's far away or disinterested or anything else you tell yourself to cause yourself displaced pain late at night. You internalise your frustration with your life, and J is often the focus of such destructive thoughts.

But he does protect you. He knows most of the plans that go on in your area; all of his men are trained to spy on the lower-class criminals, while J spies on the upper-class criminals (they're the most boring ones, extremely predictable, which only makes it too easy for J to blow up one of their cars just for fun). Between he and his men, there is always a car stationed a block or so away from your workplace. A different car every shift, and every morning you wake up with a number plate drawn on the condensation of your mirror or scrawled in lipstick across the shower tiles or on your fridge. Always erasable, and never the same number plate twice.

Twice is a choice, predictable, an almost established pattern - dangerous. Only too easy for harm to come to you. Unthinkable.

The car will take you home before it's sent to be destroyed, the man will be killed later on. You never travel home in the same car, and you never have the same driver. J does not trust his men. They are dispensable. He always sees to their death himself; he's the only one he trusts, because someone else could say they killed the man who drove you home, but actions and words are different. J only trusts the former. The latter is mere decoration; it's nice, but it isn't necessary.

You walk yourself to work, or you take the bus or catch a taxi, but you are always delivered home. Anyone who gives you grief at work is mysteriously a winner of the lottery a week later and then they're inspired to travel the world or whatever it is people who suddenly come into an obscene amount of money do (J doesn't care, he just wants them to go. away), or they're gotten rid of in a messier, but much more fun way. Your rent is always somehow paid - J doesn't want you worrying about that. You can get your own groceries and whatnot, but the rent is always paid for you. When a night of crime is on the horizon for where you live, J 'advises' you stay home and men are posted around your entire neighbourhood to make sure that harm doesn't come close.

A good dose of fear is healthy in moderation, but it's everywhere for you because of where you live, and J tries to minimise it if you want him to. You wouldn't even need to ask for him to do it, he knows what you want and need. Reading you is easy for the man who spends the majority of his time with you, and he has a detailed knowledge of your many intricacies. You're always so tired from being kept awake by the noises outside your home, and J does what he can to make sure that word gets around about your neighbourhood being a, uh, ba-ad place to cause chaos in. It ain't much fun since there's not much to do there.

In truth, J is protecting you. Quieter nights, nicer co-workers; he does what he can. He never takes credit for it, he never tells you what he's done for you. But you know. You know how quiet J's love is, and yet you can hear him yelling it at you. It's loud and clear so there's no misunderstandings between the two of you and your place in his life is concrete, just as his place in your life is.

He is the chaos, and you are the every day. Mundane, but not boring. J is the fireworks in the sky, green and purple so you know it's him thinking of you and letting you know in one of his favourite ways. Red if he's telling you to stay home tonight, blue if he's telling you it's safe. Secret, careful ways, but you've learned them well across the time you've both been together.

You are the safe and warm home that J can get cleaned up in, rest in, you provide him with a reason to do what he does - not that he needs one, of course, J does what he does because he can and it's fun and he's good at it. You are the stillness of the night, the solace, the peace and the one thing J is extremely protective of.

Nothing and no one harms you. Nothing and no one can even get close, they die before they so much as think about it because J knows. He always knows.

[sneakyboymerlin]

I have said it before, but Kilgharrah has a parallel-opposite arc to Morgana. His character is redeemed in the same streak of episodes where Morgana goes from an ally to a major villain. While Kilgharrah was often self-serving and manipulative in the first 2 seasons, this changes by the end of season 2 because Merlin chooses to show him mercy after incapacitating him. It’s the first real kindness that Kilgharrah has experienced in well over 20 years. Whereas, when Merlin shows Morgana mercy by making the deal with Morgause to save her after she’s been incapacitated, Morgana returns more vengeful than ever. Back to Kilgharrah, though…

Not only does he indebt himself to Merlin, he comes to see Merlin in an entirely new way. Before, when he would call Merlin kin, it was in the most literal sense—both are creatures of magic, cut from the same cloth, and should be allies. But now, they’ve formed a bond from that kinship (and in a literal soul connection sense, too, no less). Kilgharrah’s plea strikes Merlin with so much force because they’re both now the last of their kind, and Merlin cannot help but consider and understand what Kilgharrah has been through, despite the destruction he’s caused, because it’s happened to Merlin, too. When they see each other next, this is what they have to say:

Merlin: I didn't think you'd answer my call.

Kilgharrah: Merlin, I could not resist a dragonlord, even if I wanted to.

Merlin: I’m grateful, thank you.

Let’s focus on that: “…even if I wanted to.” Kilgharrah did not want to resist Merlin’s call for help because he’s come to care about Merlin in his own way. This development is easily traced back to Merlin’s show of mercy. It cannot be stressed enough: this was the first kindness Kilgharrah had been shown in over 20 years, after rotting away in a dungeon when he was betrayed in every way possible, suffering from the grief of his entire species going extinct on Uther’s orders. And with this one show of mercy, Merlin changed the heart of a creature that everyone had already dismissed as a monster (the same way Merlin sees himself), one who sought his revenge by razing an entire city to the ground. From the start, Merlin treats him as a person: “Why are you doing this? You’re killing innocent people!” No one who saw him as a mere beast acting on its true nature would ask a moral quandary of him. And in the end, this path leads to Kilgharrah being spared, and Camelot repeatedly being saved as a result.

Kilgharrah’s sincerity in his care for Merlin is consistent in later seasons, and is seen in more than just his rescues. In 4x02, he plainly urges Merlin not to sacrifice himself, despite the fact that Arthur’s life (and thus, Kilgharrah’s ultimate freedom) hangs in the balance.

Merlin: Arthur intends to sacrifice himself to heal the Veil. It is my destiny to protect him; you taught me that.

Kilgharrah: Merlin, you must not do this.

He shortly follows this with something we’ve known since Merlin mended the rift between them in 2x13:

Kilgharrah: From the moment I met you, I saw something that was invisible. Now, it is there for all to see […] It will be an empty world without you, young warlock.

Having failed to convince Merlin to let someone else be the sacrifice, Kilgharrah commends him. Not only that, Kilgharrah mourns him.

This is all to say that Kilgharrah’s actions in seasons 1 & 2 should not be the sole focal point for our judgment of him, when he undergoes such an extreme change of character. Furthermore, there is no reason to believe that Kilgharrah’s faith in the prophecies is anything but genuine. Alongside his newfound care for Merlin, his ultimate goal is his own freedom, and he believes that Arthur is the key to that.

Kilgharrah: We need Arthur to live […] Your destiny is to protect the young Pendragon until he claims his crown, and when he does, magic can be returned to the realm. Only then will I be free.

This logic is in line with what occurred in 5x13. Kilgharrah wouldn’t have said or done any of what he does in 1x13 if he did not believe that Arthur’s ascension to king would lead to his own freedom (even if it didn’t take immediate effect). Arthur’s place on the throne made room for an end to the wars, namely the one on magic. Kilgharrah did not make these prophecies up, nor is he the only one to believe in them. Alator and Finna possessed knowledge of the same prophecies, and both believed in Emrys’ vision/mission.

Kilgharrah had great knowledge himself, and tried to share that with Merlin to pave the best path, but he was not all-knowing, and he tells Merlin as much himself. Kilgharrah is merely a messenger, believer, and interpreter. So, he still believes the prophecy has come to pass, even if Arthur did end up dying anyways. The five kingdoms could now be united and magic restored to the land once the war was ended upon Morgana’s death. The prophecy was fulfilled within Arthur’s lifetime, despite the success of Arthur’s Bane. It did not go as Merlin expected, nor how Kilgharrah expected, but it still… went. This is what he means when he says, “No young man, no matter how great, can know his destiny.”

The idea that Kilgharrah simply played Merlin, when he was depending on Arthur as much as any creature of magic, and when he genuinely cared for Merlin as kin, is bad faith conjecture. How they got to the end point still mattered to him (i.e. Merlin must protect Arthur so that he has a chance to fulfill the prophecy), because that potential only existed through Arthur, and they all continued to suffer until that time came. Regardless of the age at which Arthur died, though, he was destined to fulfill these prophecies and return at Albion’s time of need. This, Kilgharrah knew. So is it any wonder that he maintained faith in it even after Arthur died? Especially after Arthur died, proving the prophecies true once again?

Kilgharrah: Merlin. There is nothing you can do.

Merlin: I've failed?

Kilgharrah: No, young warlock, for all that you have dreamt of building, has come to pass.

Merlin: I can't lose him! He's my friend!

Kilgharrah: Though no man, no matter how great, can know his destiny, some lives have been foretold. Merlin... Arthur is not just a King— he is the Once and Future King. Take heart, for when Albion's need is greatest, Arthur will rise again.

No, Kilgharrah did not predict the exact ending, but he did his best to help Merlin bring about the best possible outcome, and he said what he could to comfort Merlin when he was grieving Arthur. Kilgharrah was genuine, and his motives were in alignment with Merlin’s by the start of season 3.

[cherry-pop-elf]

Weasley siblings reacting to you self harming

Trigger Warning out the wazu for this. Self Harm/Suicidal Ideations/Grief/Trauma/Abuse/Vent/Its gonna be a heavy one. It’s under the cut, so you don’t have to see it. Stay safe, you are loved, and I’m here for you. Sending you hugs

William ‘Bill’

To say he didn’t have a few would be a lie. He never actively does it, he just has a job that forces you into a very dark mental space sometimes. It’s the burden to a curse breaker. Sure didn’t help when he was attacked either. Don’t get him started on being the eldest sibling to six siblings. This means he’s often very vocal about mental health. Taking vacations to focus on it, and even being very active with therapy. So when he learns you have such tendencies, it breaks his heart. It hurts to know you feel such pain, and he will try and help any way he can. He would never shame you. He understands you don’t do it because you want to. The brain is just trying so hard to process something so complex. He will make sure your wounds are clean, and they don’t get infected. He would listen to whatever is burdening you, and hold you tightly. He’s going to help you through this. He understands that it’s not an easy fix. That maybe it can never be fixed. But that won’t stop him from trying to help. You won’t be trapped in the darkness alone. Your service werewolf will be there to scare off the rain clouds.

Charlie

He’s caught by surprised, but self harm isn’t just cutting. He’s learned that. He’s often throwing himself into very dangerous situations. Self harm just means you are self destructive. He’s very much so, but no one ever says anything because he’s a man. And men just do stupid things. So he can understand people not taking your problems seriously. It’s a rather delicate subject, and he will go to Bill for advice. Since he’s the guy who has to have good mental health. Maybe that can help him to. You two can help each other. He can help you when your thoughts get too dark, and you can make sure he actually thinks through his actions. You both can be each other’s rocks. Keep each other grounded, when things get too much. To make sure that there is someone waiting for you on the other side. The dark moments are scary, but he’s always ready to carry a torch to find you in it.

Percy

He’s stunned. He never thought you would do that, and that’s when it dawns on him that he thought like that about his older brothers. He never thought they could do such a thing, but yet they have. Even George. That is his wake up call. He’s finally putting down the books, and learning there is more to life than just climbing the corporate ladder. The most important people in his life were in so much pain, and they just remain so silent on it. Afraid of what others think. He can’t help but wonder if he’s even pushed his siblings to such. It shatters him. He tries his best to be a more open person now. To be there for you more, and learn to try and keep work at the office. That the moment he gets home, he’s off the clock. He can’t keep pushing people away anymore. It’s tearing people apart. You included. He has a lot of growing to do, but he’s trying. He’s trying to be better, and that helps shine some hope in your darkness. He may not understand it, but he knows what you are dealing with is real. There’s hope in your rain clouds again.

Fred

As an owner to a joke shop, you see a lot of class clowns coming inside to cope. He himself was no exception. Molly was doing her best, but all that yelling and degrading is going to get to you. Especially in such a big family of seven siblings. Things will happen. He never cut himself, but he’s definitely done stupid things he knew could kill him. He just did them anyway, in his darker moments. Seeing a win/win scenario. He thought those were normal, since George had them to. So he doesn’t get started when he learns. When you explain to him it’s not normal, it’s now a whole other story. It’s a lot to take in, but he’s a Weasley. He’s going to handle it. He’s a big brother. He has to, and that’s when you help him understand that he can be softer to. You both find comfort in each other. You are able to let him be vulnerable. And knowing he knows your pain gives you a morbid feeling a calm. That even people like him can feel this way too. It’s a long road ahead, but he’s going to keep trying to make you smile. No matter what

George

He’s made attempts to his life. More than once. Even at The Battle Of Hogwarts, he tried to. Once the shock of Fred’s death faded, he had to be held back from joining him. He’s tried so hard to keep going, but his soul is broken beyond repair. He’s cut himself, drank, anything to deal with the pain. How he’s still alive, he doesn’t know. He calls it a curse, but you suspect that Fred is the one who makes sure every attempt fails. That the rope always snaps, that whatever he drinks is the wrong bottle, that even his own wand back fires. Fred won’t let his baby brother die, and neither will you. There’s a morbid joy to the fact you are in a similar state. You are able to use what you know to help him process. To show him that it’s going to be ok. In a weird way, it’s healing to you. You are able to be the voice to someone else’s darkness. To guide them out of it. You are able to do the thing you wished people did for you. And George does. You will hold on to each other, and remind each other it’ll be ok. That George is allowed to scream and cry. That he’s allowed to be sad, and not happy all the time. You will clean his wounds, as he cleans yours. You’ll be ok. You’ll both be ok.

Ron

Harry has done the same, given the Dursleys. It was scary for him, to see an eleven year old with such a thing. But it helped him with his empathy and sympathy. He would go to Harry for advice, when he learns you do the same. Wanting to make sure he says the right things, and do what helps you the most. Soon you would not only have Ron helping you, but Hermione and Harry as well. At first, you were pissed that Ron told other people. But it quickly faded, because you knew he was just trying to help. The fact he was trying to help, compared to keeping it quiet, does comfort you. He didn’t brush it under the rug. There was a problem, and he went to go get help the second he could. You weren’t left behind. You would be ok. He was on top of it, and you cried because of it. The good cry. A cry you didn’t know you needed. Not only did you have Ron, you had Harry and Hermione as well. With their own scars, and stories, and warm arms to hug you close. You won’t face the darkness alone. You had a bundle of friends to save you. They would save you every time, and it gave you the strength to face that darkness. You won’t be alone. Not anymore

Ginny

She lost track how many people, during her sixth year at Hogwarts, did she see do such. Even taking their own lives, given what was happening at the time. She even has a few of her own, given her history with the diary. Every time she feels herself get to angry, she does it. Something in the back of her head tells her to do it. As if a part of Tom Riddle was still inside of her. Wanting to break free. What scared her the most was that feeling didn’t go away when Voldemort died. Knowing you have those dark thoughts makes her feel like there was some kind of red string of fate. That her trauma lead to something useful. That the fact she stayed so strong was to help others. She is able to help you with what she knows. Show her that even a kind and sweet girl like her can feel those morbid feelings. You two would hold each other, whenever those feelings got rough. Finding alternatives, like working out and doing what you can to handle it. It’s scary, but she is quick to drag you into her family. To have this massive audience to help you grow. You aren’t in the darkness. You are here with this bright red light, and she’s going to fist fight those evil thoughts away. She swears to you, and you know she will keep her promise. Weasleys always do

[trashyreptilian]

And here I am with one reference sheet done! Only a FUCK-ton more to go haha,,,

Reblogs are appreciated! :3

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Biography (long read):

-General Info-

Full Name: Alfred Thorn Age: 18 Height: 6'0'' ft Gender: Male Sex: Male Species: Human Homeplace: Huntstrail, Michigan (US) Romantic/Sexual Orientation: Greyromantic asexual

-Other Info-

Personality?: Seemingly a nonchalant type of guy, just living his life and avoids attracting attention. Often feeling like he doesn't fit in with society or any kind of community. He's not much for showing strong emotions, not near random people at least. Typical for him to carry around an "I don't care" attitude and crack jokes during bad times, but it also serves as a means of protecting himself. Being well enough taught that showing his vulnerable side to the wrong people, can possibly be used back against him. The calm exterior hides an emotionally struggling artist, who's suffered through past childhood abuse from his own mother. Sometimes that pain rises to the surface, and accidentally shows up through unexpected mood swings or frustrated/defensive outbursts. However, Alfred knows how badly he manages his own negative emotions. This kind of heated temper shows up when heavily provoked or felt like he's backed into a corner. He may seem like a loner, yet in actuality, he's got a few close select people he cares about a lot. And depends on, more than he'd like to admit. But solely because of that, he shows a strong willingness to go far to protect them. Even if it means he might somehow risk his own life in the process. Seen in these instances, his more assertive and bold-self comes out.

Thinks Before Acting?: It's mixed with him, either does or doesn't depending on the situation. Typically, he'll try thinking over his actions and words. Especially when he can sense a bad outcome if he's not careful. Though, he's far from being the most calculated guy.

Positive Traits?: Mellow, modest, imaginative, soft-hearted, protective and audacious.

Negative Traits?: Reserved, insecure, confrontational, defensive, self-destructive and resentful.

Way Of Speaking?: Can talk in two languages, the main one is American English. Has knowledge in speaking Spanish, but it's kinda subpar. Remembers mostly from the lessons he had in school. On the odd occasion only uses it around his closest friend, Simon, who encourages him to improve. His voice is calm and soft, with no particular accent. At times, loves using a mocking or sarcastic tone. (Headcanon voice: https://youtu.be/2rHRztFGOm8?t=1)

Occupation?: Works as a stock clerk at a furniture store. Assists with unpacking delivered items, organizing the stockroom, inspecting inventory and so forth. Also, he takes overnight shifts when possible for extra cash. Of course, the entire job itself is for financial stability. Otherwise, he cares little about it. Had hoped to get into some kind of art career instead, possibly becoming a cartoonist. Sadly, he's never gotten such an opportunity as he grew up. Didn't help that he lacked complete confidence, and still does to this day. So it all remains but a little fantasy he thinks about.

Powers/Skills?: With Alfred being human, don't expect any overpowered abilities like how demons and angels have. However, in his very rare case, having a supernatural being, more precisely a simulacrum, for a parent did unexpectedly help him improve physically, and made him able to defend himself. At a younger age of sixteen, he was gifted his first weapon which was a pistol Glock 19. With help from his father, he trained in remote areas. Shooting useless items that were used as targets. Now, he's well-practiced enough in using it properly, discreetly carrying it when out at nighttime. Of course, not limited to just a pistol. He's also got a metal bat safely tucked away in his bedroom. But for as long as he's known, anything can be a weapon. In a fight, he'll manage some inventive ways to beat someone up. Not exactly a person with a strong-build, yet he makes up for it in endurance. Fairly fast when running, most likely to outrun anyone. The type of guy to pick his fights. Besides all that, survival skills. Learned a few tricks throughout all the times he's gone out camping, moderately skilled living in the wilderness. Particularly good at starting a fire. Maybe a little too good.

Hobbies?: Main hobby is drawing, pretty much remained so since he was a kid. His art style is very stylized, expressive and exaggerated. Taken inspiration from his favorite animated shows and movies. He'll usually use a regular sketchbook with a pencil and pen to draw. But he dabbles in other unique methods like graffiti, and pastel art. A more recent past time is using a camcorder. What he chooses to record is random. Can either be a quick recording of his father’s cat, or footage of activities and ramblings. For whatever reason, he just finds it relaxing. Not to mention, it's his way of better preserving memories besides taking photos. Something else he does to unwind is watching movies and TV series, or playing video games. His favorite genres are horror and thriller. On the lighter side, he loves all stuff that's animated, comedy and adventure fiction. Also, collects merchandise related to his favored media. Considers it a luxury, so he's not gung-ho about it. While these are things he typically does alone. Camping and exploring abandoned places, are done together with his dad. Since they can't hang out together in broad daylight, they always go out during the night. Their activities start regularly, but sometimes end in some sort of chaos when they get overboard. With property ending up mysteriously ruined. Just a not so subtle clue into what exactly happens on their trips.

Habits?: Often smokes and drinks. The first one is easier for him to keep controlled, the other one is an addiction. Possibly inherited from his mother's side of the family. He's aware of that, yet doesn't seem to grasp how poorly it could affect him in the future. Both substances are used when stressed or annoyed, but gravitates towards the alcohol mostly. An insomniac, his sleep schedule has been, and still is, irregular. Tends to be active out of nowhere during later hours, and taking overnight shifts doesn't help him. All coupled together, it's easy to imagine his self-care is kinda non-existent. Not to say he's lacking in it, it's out of sheer tiredness and apathy. Irritability is a rather serious tendency due to trauma, and a main fueling reason for the reliance on bad tendencies. It only worsens when experiencing a chain of obstacles, no matter if minor or severe. There's no clear pattern as he can seem fine in the moment, yet takes but one nudge to tip him off the edge. Resulting in sudden outbursts, causing to shut himself off from others.

Relationships? (Simplified): Alfred's dad has remained an integral part of his life. Who in fact, happens to be a simulacrum from Hell, named Him. It's been the only figure he's ever looked up to and known as family. Same demon was originally supposed to replace his actual biological father. In a rather malicious, literal sense. That never happened, as the target left his family behind during the early years of Alfred's childhood before anything transpired. Then living with an abusive mother got him in a worse vulnerable state. So getting attached to something inhuman, but caring, shouldn't be surprising. Their steady bond continued while no one else had a clue on any of it. Entering his young teenage years, Alfred was unphased about his own father figure not being exactly human, once Him revealed so. Despite the few times he had to see or hear it lashing out onto other members of its own species, he never seemed disturbed by its more violent actions. Him's raw wrathful nature is no secret, for sure. He looks past as it being over-protective since so far, he's only seen it attack out of defense for the both of them. Many times he has wished to be as reliable, strength-wise. Since Him's the only father, best friend, and role-model he's ever had, he holds it up in high regard. Alfred would go to Hell and back for it. But the relationship is far from perfect, both struggle a lot with communication. Opening up emotionally is hard especially. For Him, it's worse. As they say: like father, like son. They stay silent about their relationship, for safety's sake and to avoid unwanted attention. Nowadays, they live together in a little run-down apartment. Finally secure, in a place they can call home.

Interacting with a simulacrum for nearly his whole childhood didn't make Alfred the most extroverted person. After frequently having trouble socializing, he gave up trying to befriend people his age. At some point, he simply preferred hanging about on his own. However, one person managed to start a friendship with him, Simon Belrose. A new student that had joined the same high-school, and class, as Alfred. They were both young teens, around the same age, when they first met. His outgoing and amicable personality had Alfred spooked, he reasonably assumed that he'd be left alone by him. Having not much thought about the new guy, becoming friends with him was even less on his mind. Up until they both had an interaction, in which Simon had shown genuine interest in his art. While the compliments were validating for Alfred, he was wary of the other anyway. Took a bit to get acquainted properly. Over the years, they've grown a lot closer as friends. But Alfred still remains secretive on a lot of stuff happening in his personal life. Usually for understandable reasons, yet Simon would appreciate it if they were more open with one another. Nonetheless, they get along pretty great. Both admire certain qualities the other has, that of which they don't themselves. They enjoy pissing each other off until someone breaks first. Random screaming matches over absolutely nothing happen frequently. And their silly scuffles always get hectic.

Moving back onto otherworldly beings. Due to Alfred's long bond with a simulacrum, a certain figure grew interested in finding out more about the two. One way or the other. After a major event, involved with a rather unpleasant (putting it lightly) "person". A series of unusual circumstances followed suit for Alfred. Which all led to meeting a theraangel, called Xanthan. When their first proper interaction happened, there was nerve-wracking tension. He wasn't sure what to make of them, or what the angel's true intentions were. Heavy convincing was needed to earn Alfred's trust. To his own surprise, a mutual respect developed as they bonded over certain grievances each had. Later on a different date, Xanthan becomes his guardian angel. Part of a deal made with his father, Him. Solely due to this guardianship, they find more things in common. Eventually gaining a deeper understanding of each other. Their shared connection with art helps them be more open and start an eventual friendship. Alfred slowly views them as a sort of mentor. Maybe even as another father figure. Seeing how he appreciated Xanthan's longer living experience, once he felt comfortable he'd seek out advice from Xan alone on the rare occasion. Very few people manage to break down all the high sturdy walls that angel puts up, Alfred managed to be one of those people. He proved to be pretty insistent in making that guy a close part of his life.

Speaking of enemies, there's no one in particular who really fits in with this definition for Alfred. Besides perhaps some bitter students from his high-school that he got into fights with, or his mother and sister he has distanced himself away from. Still none of them fit such a defining strong label as "enemy". As he just wants to forget about these people entirely. Yet, that doesn't mean he won't make adversaries in the future.

================================================

General rules for all of my FCs and OCs:

-While I'm fine with getting inspired by my work, please do not just steal the designs. -I am uncomfortable with my characters being unknowingly shipped with other people's characters. -Fanart is all well, great and welcomed! As long as it isn't sexual. I'm fine with gore but please, keep my characters away from your own sexual material.

[siflshonen]

Trauma Doesn't Make Someone Right or Wrong but It Does Make Them Easier to Manipulate: Tomura Shigaraki and All for One

I decided I should talk about the MHA villains more, particularly Shigaraki.

BNHA presentations masterpost

BNHA presentations on Ao3

Let’s mosey under the cut.

The color key is not necessary, exactly, but I will be referencing my other posts with similar color keys. I thought it would be helpful to give a quick visual refresher to what they are. I’m going to referencing the other stuff I’ve written a lot in this one when it’s time to get into the details, so please be aware of that.

Regular white text can also be neutral and mean none of these things, but I think you’ll see what I mean by including All for One on here when you see the graphics.

There is Tenko Shimura and there is Shigaraki Tomura. One of them is the scared child who looks like the perfect victim in need of saving. The other is the obstinate, stubborn, short-sighted and naive social deviant shaped by his trauma and grooming. The only thing he seems to exhibit individuality over is his love of video games and which kinds he prefers.

They are the same person. Traumura Shigaraki. Tenko Traumura. 

Shigaraki is sometimes hard to pin down as a character because his individuality beyond his PTSD is rarely allowed to shine. However, I do believe that there are common threads between Tenko Shimura and Tomura Shigaraki. He sincerely wants to make connections, and he sincerely wants to do right by those that accept him, though his own desires and emotional responses often get in the way - as do the desires of another teeny, tiny influence upon him.

His fucking Master, All for One.

Part of what inspired my initial Bakugo presentation was showing how he breaks down the tropes of “hero”, “antihero” and even “antagonist” in shonen manga. The entire cast of Heroes and Villains (remember, they are also social designations and legal definitions in the world this manga) are doing this to some extent. Shigaraki, in particular, is headlining how there is nothing inherently special that makes someone a villain or hero. The determining factor is the perspective of the observer (or affected society.)

Shigaraki may be an antivillain in this story, but to him, that makes him appear the hero of his own story - all while still wearing the self-determined label of “villain”.

Arguably, the actions he chooses to take as a result of his trauma and fear of rejection also make him the villain of his own story at the same time, but we’ll get into that later.

Deku also has at least one mentor (in the Second User) that makes no bones about telling him that his life and well-being is less important than achieving the goal of stopping All for One. But at least he is honest, I guess.

Still destructive, though.

Most of the characters act truly heroically not in moments of glorious victory, but moments of pain, suffering, or even failure (Early-series Deku does this a lot, like when he falls to earth after heroically saving Ochako in the entrance exam. Bakugo, who is sent crashing to the ground in the ironically-named “Katsuki Bakugo: Rising” chapter after putting himself in harm’s way to save someone else, also has a habit of doing this over and over again), which is not the expectation for an archetypal hero in a storybook or comic.

Shigaraki’s glorious rise with cape, model hair, and awesome suit is likewise a moment that does not bode well for him, though he doesn’t know it in the moment.

I don’t make a slide for it, but as he ascends, Shigaraki becomes, well, ethereally beautiful. As his post-family-death amnesiac self, his suffering made him more fragile, frayed, and conventionally ugly in appearance. But after going through All for One’s training and modifications, he was given a new, beautiful facade.

But he was still on the fast track to misery either way.

This discussion isn’t super duper political, but this is your heads-up that many of these “big presences in power” characters also stand in for political ideologies or even entire countries, in some cases.

Endeavor is, roughly, the Japan before modern foreign influence. I’m sure Horikoshi could give us the specific party or movements he had in mind, but he’s not the focus of this post. If you want a more in-depth breakdown of Endeavor and the Todoroki family, please see this post. 

The Kirishima Presentation post I made has the most relevant information to the topic of Westernization’s impact on Japan’s attitudes and military power, though it isn’t quite for the same approach and purpose.

All Might, the “band aid” on the My Hero Academia society, is a Japanese guy wearing the appearance of the West while wielding a power that was given to him by someone else, and at seemingly random from an outside perspective. While Toshinori’s true heroic qualities have nothing to do with his nationality (and neither do the features and purpose behind One for All or All for One, when all is said and done), it is important when understanding what Toshinori represents to Endeavor and how he views him.

Both the Heroes and Villains in this series make an entire journey and daytime soap opera of fucking themselves over, honestly.

All for One doesn’t just want to be a dictator or tyrant or king. No, he wants to be the ultimate evil and unapologetic about it. He is the big bad and he is reveling in it. He is going to make himself a cartoon, and then he is gonna rule this cartoon world. Why? We’ll find out eventually. But maybe we’ll never know! I don’t really care. He’s meant to be a static evil.

Naruto tried to be real cool by having their big bad talk about how they were gonna take over the world through hijacking the economy and using that as their in to take over all the Ninja Villages and be real fascists or whatever, but My Hero Academia jumps over that angle by taking a more emotional and universal storybook (or comic book) approach. I greatly prefer it.

I also prefer that the story is blatantly framing the movement it opposes by calling it out as a fucking cartoon villain, though there’s also a twist to this that I think Horikoshi has very intentionally performed.

Fascism most recently swept over Japan as a result of influence from the West. Bam. Easy. So it’s no surprise that, regardless of where he is from, All for One doesn’t just look like a white guy, but like fine art of a white guy from the West. Pretentious. But it’s also kinda funny since he looks like a Greco-Roman god and is trying to flatten his marble curves into lowbrow comic form.

Nazi Germany and the Italian flavor of fascist regimes dressed snappy and loved their high art. Surely y’all know how Nazi Germany defined and tripped all over themselves at the idea of an Aryan race.

Meanwhile, American comic books are a Jewish invention. Superman and Captain America were staunchly anti-Nazi, anti-fascist, anti-all that. For All for One, icon of the type of art branded as “Aryan”, to do what he’s doing in the form of a comic book and saying he likes them is... oh, it’s truly disrespectful of him, to put it mildly. It reminds me of the discussion and fallout surrounding Captain America being part of Hydra for some issues.

Anyway, All for One is rebranding again to sneak into the hearts and minds of those with more modern sensibilities (read: “lowbrow”) to do his same routine. It’s truly villainous, selfish, and disrespectful. Fuck this guy. Rip him apart.

...All of this is a compliment. A hateable static big bad is a good thing when it is what the story wants to achieve.

One could split hairs and say, “All for One’s approach doesn’t resemble fascism! It’s like X!” And if you want to do that, great. Pick your poison of specific flavor of awful Authoritarian or Totalitarian movement that causes extreme suffering. Go nuts. I chose this one because I think a broader approach is more applicable - All for One is a timeless, recurring evil with worldwide reach.

I’ve taken the qualities of Ur-Fascism, or “Eternal Fascism”, listed above from this article, which is also an abbreviation of a longer work on the topic by Umberto Eco. I don’t want to regurgitate the whole thing here, so I encourage you to read it. I did incorporate two of the 14 qualities into other items on this list, but I think you’ll find that All for One checks all of these boxes.

If you read the article or essay, please pay attention to language used like “in the name of liberation”, or how these movements tend to start in another movement with one similar ideal or begin to absorb other movements. Think about how that relates to what happened to Re-Destro’s group and ambition, and the fate of the Liberation Army as it was absorbed into Shigaraki’s/All for One’s. Think about how fascism is contradictory in many ways, but still considers itself a single movement.

For more further reading - @transhawks​ hits the nail on the head regarding what the League of Villains are in relation to Hero Society and All for One. They’re not really revolutionaries or a unified band of anything standing against their evil government for ideological reasons. They’re being used. If you want to enter a more extreme political pick-apart or commentary of this series, this is a good place to look and a crucial thing to understand.

It would be real cool if the USA was truly a well-meaning, if hasty, rude, and entitled do-gooder superhero, but, well, this is a comic book. Y’all know that Star and Stripe is meant to be the idealized USA rooted in Democracy and Liberty and all that stuff, right?

But even the superpowered and ideal version of the USA can be corrupted. The USA has neo-Nazis (and a total shitshow political scene, particularly conservatively but not exclusively limited to that party, currently) and stuff, too. The “We Are All for One” sign in the My Hero Academia panel of violence and chaos in the United States’ establishing shot is a good way to represent how the conditions for All for One to take control can come about anywhere.

This dude, and the fascism he represents, is a parasite.

Anyway, that’s all big-picture stuff. Let’s talk about All for One’s specific approach to getting his hooks into Shigaraki and the League of Villains.

Public opinion is one of All for One’s most important tools, especially when starting out.

Again, All for One is a parasite. And I think the moth wings Shigaraki sports in figurative representations in the manga are meant to suggest the lower two of a Death’s-head hawkmoth, which has an association with death in Japan and some other cultures. I’m not totally sure about this, though.

As for me, personally, I am familiar with this genus of moth because I grew up with the Five-Spotted Hawkmoth’s larvae, which we called tomato hornworms, in the garden. Parasitic wasps like to lay eggs in the backs of the hornworms and then the larvae in the eggs eat the hornworm from the inside out before maturing. I don’t know if Horikoshi had those in mind when he made this manga because I think they’re only in North America, but, well, I thought about them.

My point: Shigaraki was an easy target and a natural choice for All for One.

Tenko fucked his whole family over when his quirk destroyed everything. The damage was not limited to his father. His family may not have stopped his father and maybe could have done more to try and stop him (and Hana could have not sold out Tenko and blamed him for their intrusion into their father’s office), but killing them didn’t exactly help anyone.

As @transhawks​ pointed out, the message of “destroying the existing system (house) to root out the existing power causes more sacrifice than it is worth” is a comparatively moderate one.

But for a boys’ manga series, the major idea that, “hey, maybe try to help one another and don’t act in negative emotion - and DEFINITELY don’t become a fascist ‘cause it’s a trap” is perhaps a more immediately relevant one for that audience than a more complicated political critique. The readership of a boys’ manga is at (or about to be at) high risk for becoming the vulnerable youth Shigaraki, Spinner, and perhaps even Dabi or Toga represent.

Sometimes, things can be as simple as the story of a shitty dad doing shitty things to his family because he sucks. Sometimes, this story can also be an allegory at the same time, if it helps your cause. Dabi certainly thinks about it like this!

Shigaraki seems to flip-flop between these hikikomori and NEET categories.

The Kirishima Presentation post talks about this in great detail with more articles.

When I think about this turn of phrase, I think about Princess Mononoke and how the musket ball inside the boar god is what turned him into a monster and sent him on a rampage, and then infected Ashitaka. There’s a lot to unpack here about that, but this is long enough.

It seems that quirks, while not a definite indicator of what a person is like, has an impact on these characters’ individuality, themes, and preferences in the story.

He rises from the ashes always, it seems. And this isn’t even his final form.

“I hurt, so I want YOU to hurt!” If you don’t know much about folks affected by Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD, well, Shigaraki is pretty much a perfect textbook example.

And you could have it all... my empire of dirt... I will let you down... I will make you hurt!

People are individuals. Degrees of and conditions for suffering are all unique. But the end result of trauma upon people is the same. They hurt.

So, I think now is a good time to link to this discussion regarding Tenko’s name.

I don’t know if this alike-sound is obvious to the Japanese readership or not, or if it’s just an English speaker’s ear making the observation in similarity between words. Sometimes, what sounds like a pun to an English speaker is not a pun to a native speaker. I really do not know because I am not a native speaker. But even without knowing that for certain, it’s interesting to think about and good, relevant information regarding some of Japan’s general history. If anybody knows, please let me know.

For the longest time, I thought his name was ironic because “ten” sounds like “heaven/sky” and “ko” like “child”, so he would be named “heavenly child” or “child from the heavens”, which contrasts with his “villain” status, though remains accurate because of his incredible, otherworldly power and appearance by his transformation’s end. But it’s not written like “heaven child”. I asked. But I still think it’s funny.

Anyway.

This is a story, so I literally cannot do anything about this situation except say that I am certain that a hero will come for him. I know it’s a cop-out and I am no different than the old woman who left Tenko on the street, but, well, that’s all I’ve got.

I hope they reach him soon.

[nyashykyunnie]

//Kyunnie rambling like a madman over her fave charas

why must I grow to be so empathetic and easily attached to people who are so broken.

I cant move on from Jinwoo's unspoken trauma, Aventurine's love of gambling because its the only aspect of him he has complete control over, and Wanderer who is driven by self-hatred and anger has grown as a puppet slowly learning to become empathetic and gentle despite his arrogant exterior and his supposed "Heartless" figure.

I hate how we are not given enough or even any deep dive into Jinwoo's overall psyche. I personally think this man hates himself so much that he actively throws himself in front of others. While yes he is kind as a default because he is the mc but god I love how you can possibly explain his altruism because of his low self-esteem. Being a laughingstock, mocked and shouldering the responsibilities of a patriarch must have broken him. We know for a fact that Jinwoo is driven simply by his love for his family. His actions are made for the benefit of Jin-ah and his mom. Being an E-ranker is brutal, we are shown that despite it not being heavily focused on its obvious Jinwoo struggles. His landlord even offered to extend rent which means Jinwoo is hell-deep into money scarcity. I think we can all agree how being broke can literally destroy someone. With Juhee scolding Jinwoo for his injuries I think we can interpret it as this man still going to work despite being heavily hurt. This man is desperate to make ends meet and it must have made a toll on him despite his calm and collected demeanour. I wish we could have been given more ample hints about Jinwoo's slow detachment more often than just slapping it on the table like what happened when he killed the older brother of Hwang Dong-soo. It was sudden, while cool as it may be I want to see more of his decline mentally so that I could have been more excited at his breaking point. The anime is thankfully being more open to showing how self-destructive Jinwoo can be. I mean, come in, the scene with cerberus? How stubborn and strong willed he is? It's beautiful. What I do appreciate is that Jinwoo for a fact is altruistic.Him willing to shoulder all the burdens of war and defending his earth from the itarim eushdhs qwq....

Dont even get me started with Aventurine. I was once a firm fan of Aventio but seeing how this man is watered down to nothing more than a hot twink bottom fuckable? God it gets on my nerves. It got so bad I have a lowkey hatred of Aventio not out of homophobia but because I find it so fucking infuriating that such a deep and well-written character is just reduced to his ship. Aventurine is obviously an extremely insecure man, have we all not learned anything from the penacony quest or is it because everyone probably skipped the dialogues? I bet it's the latter half. Kakavasha pointed out how nervous Aventurine was and none of us, the audience or even the npcs, expected that. It shows that Aventurine has perfected his mask of arrogance and suave do much so that he can fool everyone. Everyone but himself. And Kakavasha knew that because he and Aventurine are one in the same. Kakavasha is the little boy in Aventurine that he has hidden beneath this carefully built palace of lies. Everything about his attire and confidence is there to make you feel like you cannot see through this man. That instead of thinking of something else, the first thing that jumps on your mind is that he is arrogant and self-centered when he is not. He is anything but confident, he has a deep rooted sense of self-hatred and depression because of his broken past and he most likely blames himself for the death of his mother and sister. And you know what? I liked him because he of the way he presents himself. But once I discovered a deeper level of who Aventurine is? Mother I am gone. I became heavily invested in him, I loved how I'm able to get a glimpse of it. Slowly I started seeing less of "Aventurine the IPC ambassador who is a bastard" and more of the "Aventurine" that is hidden inside. I want to know more about him and less about this facade he has perfectly built up. I didn't trust him at first but now I can confidently say that out of all the hsr charas, I would trust him and Dan Heng the most with my heart. So when he supposedly died? It broke me. I could not shut up about it and my friends probs were tired of me. I was having active mental breakdowns because I did not want Aventurine to go away even though his plan was complete suicide. A gamble he took to end his sorry life. Gambling was the only thing that Aventurine had complete control over as well as how he wanted people to perceive him. I felt so wronged when i was fooled into thinking he is gone when the aventurine stone landed on the floor and lost its shimmer. I did not want his story to end. I wanted to know more about him. I wanted to see him succeed in his revenge on the people who took his family away.

Wanderer? He was an asshole, i didnt get the attraction to him at first. He was always sexualized and reduced to just a petty villain whose personality revolves around being toxic. But oh how all of that came crumbling down when I met "who" he really is. A broken, lonely and abandoned puppet who is desperate to have a heart. Discarded by his mother, lost a friend and another right after that. He was a child when Ei released him, he misunderstood her actions as to being that she found him of no use when really she just wanted to keep him away from the horrors that is reality, his second friend was also a misunderstanding. While I dont know the complete story of that part, I know its a huge miscommunication. The last betrayal that completely broke him? That one was of naivete. He was a child. He had the mind of a child. All of that turned into a web of confusion, hatred and sadness that created "Scaramouche". He became a weapon, a lab rat. All of that just because he wanted to fill the void in his empty heart where a gnosis should have sat. When the archon quest rolled in? I was so devastated with his desperation. He was absolutely broken. By the end of it, when he was under nahida he used to Irminsul to kill himself. How tragic is that, huh? I hate how people significantly forget about that side of him. That suicidal, depressed boy who had no guiding light. His only drive was to have the gnosis thinking that will take away all the pain and sadness in his heart when truly he just wanted to love and be loved. He wanted companions. In his story quest, his first appearance as Wanderer is I think is the closest we can get to who he actually used to be. Before the abandonment, the betrayals, the deaths. I think that is the closest glimpse we get in game about who he really was. It doesnt justify his cruelty, his mass murder, his crimes. Nothing justifies anything but I cant help but feel so sorry for his soul. And hence make me all the more hate blind people who reduce him to just arrogance. The last event showed that Wanderer for a fact can be extremely empathetic, he saved Durin and even allowed him to become his companion. Nahida points out he feels extremely happy despite his demeanour. This man just wants happiness and companionship because he spent most of his days dying of loneliness and drowning in depression. Wanderer is kind, he is healing. It is slow but the game doesn't hide that. We are shown time and time again how he is growing as a person despite being without a heart. I think Wanderer is very empathetic despite how he appears, he can understand you in a deep sense despite talking smack at you. He is gentle with his actions. Even animals are so attracted to him, animals only react to those with noble and gentle hearts. That should be enough to say what kind of person wanderer is these days.

Overall, these three just put me in so much emotional turmoil that I hate how I cant talk more about it. I love them a lot. I want to know more about them. I want to be able to immerse myself more. I want to know them more eidhehsjs mannnn,,,,,,

[mister-eve]

[ s**cide warning ] - a big problem i have with sonic prime s3 ( amongst several other ones i have ).

.

i've talked about this at length ( more or less ) with a friend of mine and this bothered both of us, so i wanted to see if anyone else had this issue.

according to one scene in s3, Sonic is canonically suicidal. not self-sacrificial ( which can mean the same thing, but often doesn't ), but suicidal.

for comparisons sake, let's talk about Leonardo from ROTTMNT, who was the example of self-sacrificial.

Leonardo and Sonic are in a similar boat. they made a mistake ( though, i firmly believe Sonic's was less of a mistake and more of an unfortunate circumstance ), and they try to fix it throughout the story.

while i'm not going to debate Sonic's characterization here ( cuz i think it's utter dogshit and is for an entirely different post ), i will talk about the mindsets that make these two different.

Leonardo didn't want to die here. he was fine with doing so, but only because he believed that would keep his family safe. if he did want to die, we wouldn't see Leo put so much thought into his actions.

we see that he isn't looking for the opportunity to die. throughout the entire movie, he's self-destructive because he knows that, at least to some extent, the plan going wrong was his fault. he knows ( or believes, depending on how you view the movie ) that Raph sacrificing himself only happened because Leo didn't listen.

so, Leonardo isn't suicidal, but self-sacrificial. because he just wants his family back.

now, let's move back to Sonic.

( this is not the scene where he's suicidal, obviously )

when Sonic goes to confront Nine on his own, Nine says at some point:

"you want to save everyone. friends, foes, total strangers. you say it's because you're a hero and that's what heroes do, but deep down... after what you did, destroying your own home, it's the only way you can ever live with yourself. even if that means you won't live at all."

this is Sonic's self-destructive behavior.

rather than focusing on one goal, Sonic focuses on all of them ( to varying degrees, cuz the writer's don't know what they're doing ) at expense of his own. yes, he wants Green Hill to come back, but it's more of for his friends ( Shadow included ) than for himself.

at first, he misses Green Hill. he really wants to go home. but by s3, it's more or less him just wanting Green Hill to exist again. it's like he no longer cares if he's in the picture.

and considering how Sonic was the key to everything ( due to his Prism energy ), he'd have to become a sacrifice at some point, but this confrontation is different.

for one thing, Sonic is alone.

he tries to push his friends away before talking to Nine.

he doesn't deny that he can't live with himself if he doesn't try to save everyone.

the only reason Sonic stopped was because his friends intervened.

of course, Sonic might not show all the symptoms of a suicidal person ( unless ofc, you're looking into this as deep as i am ), but that's not because he's no longer suicidal. that's not how it works. it's because right after the intervention, it's never brought up again. it's just bad writing and it's disrespectful.

but as i see Sonic as someone who's suicidal, according to the suicide prevention resource center, the symptoms are:

feeling unbearable pain

Nine's comment on how it's the "only way he can live with himself" can be seen as Sonic feeling unbearable pain from his own guilt. this can also be related to Sonic in s2 when he's in Ghost Hill for the first time.

Sonic has been going left and right trying to help everyone else in their respective Gateways that his progress on returning home slowed. especially since he didn't know Green Hill didn't have its own Gateway, but instead was destroyed.

death, or a recent fascination with death.

his sacrifice could be seen as such. especially since this was after what Nine said.

feeling hopeless, worthless, or trapped.

throughout s3, Sonic repeatedly has doubt or hopeless about himself or the situations around him. of course, the moments are fleeting, but the amount of times he does this could lead to something a suidical person would say or do.

feeling guilt, shame, or anger.

aside from his guilt, Sonic has expressed shame ( it doesn't help Shadow kept beating it into him that it was his fault every 2 seconds ) in s2-s3, and anger was prominent within s3. it was towards Nine, mostly, but it felt almost unnatural or uncharacteristic anger.

feeling like a burden to others.

Sonic had tried to isolate himself from everyone else more than once, emotionally or physically, and only stopped once his friends made it clear they weren't leaving.

changes in behavior or mood that are relevant to Sonic specifically:

recent attempt ( again, sacrifice )

withdrawing from family, friends, or community ( his repeated attempts to do things alone // isolating himself due to his guilt )

losing interest in personal appearance or hygiene ( more or less out of Sonic's control, but we've only seen him take even a little bit care of himself when he was on Dread's ship )

a recent episode of depression, emotional distress, and // or anxiety ( repeated emotional distress, having to be pulled out of the cave, shaking or fidgeting hands, etc. )

changes in eating // sleeping patterns ( again, not totally within his control, but it would affect one's mental state regardless )

becoming violent or being a victim of violence ( ...*COUGHS* sha- *COUGHS* ni- *COUGHS* )

expressing rage ( Sonic's borderline threats about Nine )

recklessness ( ... )

again, because this is never brought up after, i wouldn't be surprised if people didn't think too much into this scene beyond "oh, Nine's evil and mean".

purely from a writer's perspective, i don't think Sonic Prime is a good show. it's what i consider a "junk food show". something to laugh at for its quality. but i don't consider it a good show.

so, i'm not surprised that Sonic's suicidal behavior or the talk about Sonic's mindset isn't brought up again, but it is still disappointing and offensive to those who struggled or continue to struggle with suicidal ideation or acts.

this is probably the only official Sonic media that has a suicidal Sonic, and they don't even treat it with respect. because of course they don't. what does it matter? Sonic's a dumb little guy anyway!

anyway, this is just my long way of saying that i see Sonic as a suicidal hero, not a self-sacrificial one ( or not only a self-sacrificial one ), and why Sonic Prime pisses me off for this reason.

it's fine to have a suicidal hero character. it brings a lot of things up for discussion.

but it's not okay to use it as a way to make your audience sad for a few minutes, then pull the rug from beneath them.

[littleeyesofpallas]

Bleach’s Issue with Queer characters (1/3)

So, someone recently(when i started this draft anyway) left a kind of incoherent rant on one of my posts.  It wasn’t actually related to anything I’d said in the post, and just came across as disjointed babble, so it didn’t warrant a direct reply at the time.  But it did bring up a subject I would actually like to talk about:

How Kubo handles gender queer characters.

I think it’s a little easy to look at the most glaring cases, come to the conclusion that he doesn’t handle representation well, and leave it at that.  That’s valid.  And he’s clearly not well versed or tactful in how he portrays these characters, and it’s really not that unreasonable to judge him for it.  But I also think there’s more going on with it than that really accounts for, so let’s pick at it a little...

By and large what Kubo does is some pretty by-the-books queer-coding villains, and what amounts to casting effeminate men in adversarial roles.  In the big picture, it’s not a good trope to be falling back on: it comes from a bad place historically, and even if Kubo doesn’t mean anything bad by it (and I’ll get into why I think he genuinely doesn’t) it contributes to the momentum already behind it that other, less well intentioned creators and readers inevitably stand to do more direct harm with.

The earliest case of this is actually from Zombie Powder.  Very early episodic villain, Ranewater Calder is a youthful and even girlish looking man who is actually an old man sustained by a youth restoring drug.  He’s a villain of the week type, so the fact that he’s pretty and evil is literally all there is to him.  Moreover, his fixation on youth, his vanity, and his deception (he pretends to be a frail, dainty victim at first) all link directly to his moral character.  Although Calder is himself never made out to be gay, the archetype he's clearly based on is a pretty classically homophobic characterization at face value

But even here it’s not totally black and white...  

There’s a snag in that Kubo’s not writing some 1950s American pulp novel where the perils of homosexuality spell self-destruction or divine/dramatic irony on the loathesome villain; he’s writing a shounen action manga, and it operates on the Rule-of-Cool first and foremost.  Calder isn’t a vehicle for moral preaching by religious conservatives, he’s a highlight character taking up valuable print space in a popular comic.  He’s attractive, he has a cool name, he has a cool weapon with a unique fighting style, and even his vanity and deception aren’t there to make him unappealing, they’re there to make him compelling.

And herein lies the root of Kubo’s problem.  He just likes having cool characters, and he crams them in where ever he can fit them, and that often means in villain roles.  Moreover, although some characters get more vilified than others, even within the scope of villain roles, not all of them get to stick around long enough to be developed as either something other than queer and villainous, or to get the full turn around.  After all...

Yumichika was a villain at first.

And you’ll noticed I hesitated just now at calling it a “turn around” and not a “redemption” or “turning over a new leaf” because frankly, the Shinigami never actually changed alignment.  They were circumstantially the villains of the Soul Society Arc until Aizen turned on them to be the bigger "real” villain.  Technically it was Ichigo & co. that changed alignments from fighting against the Gotei13 to fighting with them.  But relatively aside, Yumichika became a good guy and his favorable portrayal got to outweigh his villainous introduction.

Speaking of which, there’s not a whole lot to go over with it, but Yumichika’s original appearance pretty closely mirrored the profile of Ranewater Calder’s bit in Zombie Powder: a kind of “sissy” prettyboy is obsessed with his looks, and other than just being a guy with a sword pointed at the established heroes making him a villain, that vanity and narcissism make them mean, judgy and vindictive.

But Yumichika came back, and stuck around, and frankly became something of a fan favorite.  And I think this particular development says a lot about how Kubo looks at these situations.  You’ll notice, he didn’t actually have to change Yumichika’s character much to shift him from villain to hero.  Yumichika gets a little less prickly, but he’s still vain and it’s not even something that anyone ever frames as a problem he needs to work on.  In fact, the introduction of his shikai brought into play a new facet of his vanity: Deception.  So we’re back to that Ranewater Calder framework, where the prettyboy has something to hide with his looks, but in Yumichika’s case it’s shown as an almost endearing quality.  He hides his sword’s powers, a reflection of his true self, to fit in.  But this isn’t shown to be a thing to pity, his willingness to sacrifice a part of his own identity is portrayed as a kind of noble restraint.

Now, granted, I don’t think those elements all play nicely together. (In fact, the nobility of his self-restraint is a very dangerous thing to uphold as a virtue) But when it comes to trying to draw a line between message and intent, I think the most pertinent thing to consider as context isn’t actually the villain or hero dichotomy, or even your own personal feelings about the themes in play, it’s the attitude ("attitude" as different from “intent,” mind you) of the creator towards his creations: Kubo seemed to enjoy making Yumichika.

He had fun with his design (the feathers and the weird sweater collar thing) He had fun with the sword, with giving him a secret power.  He had fun writing his vanity rants.  He didn’t have to have Yumichika, he didn’t have to bring him back, and he didn’t have to add to his character, but he did.  He invested his own time and effort and space on the page to him and to making him interesting to have around.

But like I said, Yumichika’s the lucky one.  He came in early, got to have a comeback, and had time to stick around.  But consider that when Kubo was floundering around trying to figure out how to salvage the mess that was the late TYBW arc, he didn’t need to bring back Arrancar, and he didn’t need to bring back the ones he did. (in fact, only the Privaron even make sense in-world, Luppi and Charlotte weren’t convenient choices, they were just Kubo’s personal picks.)  And when he did finally get around to cleaning up the Sternritter?  Bazz-B was an obvious choice to keep, sure (following that Renji/Grimmjow mold of the hotblodded rival who bucks his own organizations rules) but Giselle and Lilttoto?  That was Kubo playing favorites.

Luppi was so short lived, it’s hard to really say anything about him.  He was basically just reusing notes from Yumichika’s first appearance, which again also refer back to Ranewater Calder in Zombie Powder for basic aesthetic and demeanor.  (It’s actually kind of weird that Yumichika never really had any kind of dynamic with Luppi when they fought.)

Side note here, but Kubo really loves to build some of his recurring character types around a certain kind of scene or dynamic.  Byakuya and Ulquiorra both do this thing where they’re supposed to be the stoic unflinching types, but they actually get shocked and surprised almost constantly.  Kubo seems to be going into it with the mentality that he thinks it’s cool when the character who predicts everything and always has everything under control, can’t predict something and doesn’t have it under control, and just reverse engineers a stoic person for the purpose of having them “break character” later.  In this vein Kubo seems to have a real love of very pretty characters shifting into a kind of sinister “ugly mode.”  It wouldn’t serve his purpose to just have them ugly or obviously meanspirited all the time, the ugliness has to be served up in its reveal as that “breaking character” moment, even though that “breaking” moment is itself the core of the character.

Not to get too heady about this little observation, but it honestly feels like something that applies even to Kubo’s broader writing habits; wanting the payoff of a twist, and planning said twist first but then reverse engineering the supporting ruse only as a matter of course.  Just a silly little thought...

[1][2][3]

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

Non BL Fan watches Only Friends - Part II (Part I)

Ok. So it turns out that although I had to convince them to watch this show and share some thoughts with me, Neely really committed to the bit and is now enjoying the writing part more than the show. When I first talked to them about this, they said it would take 2/3 weeks to watch all of it. Turns out they watched 9 episodes in 3 days. And they already finish the show by the time this gets posted. So the final part of this will come soon.

So, they wrote a lot about episodes 5 - 9. And I haven't really been able to catch up to them so this time I won't be adding to it. Also, this is gonna be a bit long so if you want more general view of their thoughts on the show so far, skip to the end, to the conclusion. They separated it more or less by character so I'll add titles so it gets easier to read.

Neely's thoughts episodes 5 through 9 Just quick notes first:

It's creepy to me that Top's Halloween costume is a us army uniform 😬 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

I'm glad Chueam had a little bit more presence, even if just as supporting act.

I’m annoyed at this thing of framing Ray as taking Mew on "a bad path" as if Mew has no agency. Mew just spent ages teasing Top with no sex and in that relationship he had all the agency, and felt able to put his boundaries, but now he can't refuse alcohol and drugs? Ofc it's reactive to what happened, but so is Ray's usage and nobody seems to give him the same credit or patience. That said, Ray is being a lil bitch in his pursuit of Mew and how he reverted into treating Sand with entitlement.

Now longer:

Boston

Boston just keeps one uping himself, at this point he's just going for asshole so at least he's not pretending, and to me, he's on a league of his own; the "girl"boss, gatekeep, gaslight self-made villain of the series. But also, what I realise has been paining me in this portrayal is - and I think this happens in other media with so-called 'sluts' - that there's a difference between being a slut and the very reality of sex addiction as an illness. And media often does this muddled mix of both, where it's not really an addiction in how they show it because often the reality of that is too much to be representing on your average TV, but it's also not being a slut. I just wanna say: sluts are happy most times. Fucking is nice, it's not always a speed-train to self-destruction, it can be about curiosity and playfulness and desire. It can be intimate and caring and genuine, even if it's a one-night stand. Sluts don't so often feel remorse about fucking people, because they are not suddenly controlled by some demonic entity of lust that cannot reject fucking even if it blows away all of their life and surroundings; sluts actively choose to fuck because they want to fuck. AND 7/10 TIMES IT IS NICE! Sluts also are not always ready and willing for actions with anyone - they have tastes and standards and preferences like most people. Boston has rejected 0 people in this show until now, and more often than not he has regretted that sex, or it has been ultimately destructive to him or people he loves, and now he fucks Chueam's brother and very clearly we start the next episode with a strong guilt scene.

I just wouldn't call Boston a slut, he's maybe a sex addict, or using sex for numbing the pain of repressing his sexuality to his dad - in a parallel to how Ray uses substances to numb his own family stuff. Sluts are some of the nicest people I've met, cause also to do that respectfully you do have to have good people skills and empathy, sex is about knowing how to relate so you do get good at...relating in general, even non-sexually. But yeah, my defense of ethical random sex for another time.

Of course there's lots of gay men, especially those who are repressed in some way (like Boston is with his dads campaign and having to hide his sexuality because of it) that end up using sex in this toxic way, as well as for validation, power, a sense of control, or just this detachment that ultimately comes from deep internalised homophobia and a sense of not deserving real intimacy and tenderness and love. Again, I think that's very real within gays - I'd say maybe my experience within western (- socialised) communities, that's often a pattern I notice more in older gays, like 40 on - generations who felt AIDS and criminalization and mortality in a way we cannot begin to imagine. So maybe within a Thai context it's more common that this repression and reaction to repression is still common in younger gay men? I don't know enough about this; I'm also mostly in quite progressive (gender-)queer communities in very out-there European queer centres, so maybe more trad western gays despite generation might feel this. Here, I wouldn't consider this group of friends trad-gays. But again, underlining all my own statements here is that cultural context possibly impacts this reading a lot and I won't pretend to know queer-thai pov.

But that's how I'm justifying this from my angle. Boston's not a slut, we gathered as a council in an emergency meeting and he has surpassed the max levels of regret and guilt and self-destruction we are allowed post-sex on a monthly basis. I'm positioning him as either sex addiction or using sex to numb pain, or both - an addiction grown from his family situation and hiding who he is. I think there's a nice parallel between his story and rays that I'm tentatively enjoying as an audience. Both are very real in the gay world too, I'd say.

Mew

I liked the confrontation scene where Mew played the track during sex. I also liked Mew's very 'meh' revenges - I think it suits the character, felt a bit too much ado about nothing, but while still being cruel. Like the burning of the paper but in a way it didn't actually trigger Top, so it's quite mean and malicious but with no real effect; and the same with Boston where he goes through all the effort of getting that fucking video to confront him and scare him and then just gives it to him, nothing happens, no effect. But still almost genuinely malicious. I think it suits the character, Mew is incredibly beige and non-eventful, a personification of a yawn but with tints of malevolence. Just think of the build up of virginity and the importance giving to losing it, and then uneventfully he looses it in a flash because Top emptied a baggy of coke. He's not concerned with actually doing or not doing a thing, he wields his full power as a character in withholding until he feels he can't withhold anymore, until he will gain more from giving that from holding back, this was proven to me even by how he was initially scared he'd lose Top for being inexperienced at sex, and when he decides to do it, he calls Boston and directly says "i feel like he'll get bored of me if I don't".

I imagine he will do the same with taking Top back; he's gonna extend it as much as he can. He weaponizes this type of power, having something someone else wants, and holding that against them: I think you can see this with Ray, with Top, now with Boston. So I liked his revenge gimmicks as a spectator, and I was glad it avoided us audiences witnessing him forcing Boston to come out; nobody needs to see that ever but let alone in the middle of this chaos, it would be too far on the unhinged scale for me.

Top

I'm still not buying Top. The way he is being acted just comes across so two-faced to me; and I don't know if that's purposefully trying to tell me something or if I have a wrong reading of the actors expressions and gaze.

But Top and his attempts at making amends... I get it, its meant to be sweet and caring towards Mew, but he's still holding on to this toxic controlling side most times. Like at the beginning of the post-break up he's trying to act all sad puppy for Mew but he's also still running away blaming everything for his own mistake instead of taking responsibility, including visiting Boston to blame him and yell at him.

When he comes to give Mew books as apology gift he says "I'm here cause I'm his boyfriend" and I'm like... 👀 Again I think some people might find that sweet but it gives me the ick, it gives me controlling partner, it gives me gaslighting, is toxic - you're broken up, acknowledge your mistake, acknowledge that the person ended things with you, and start making amends from that place.

It also didn't sit well with me that he cuddled Mew when Mew was passed out drunk. Yes cute nice caring to put him in bed and, ok, sure, pass a wet towel on his face and neck if you want, and I can even hold my side-eye and skip a breath at taking his trousers for comfort but.. this person told you almost halfway through a vomit to leave, don't stay and cuddle him as if you're still "boyfriends"; consent for that has been very clearly renounced.

I find him a bit coercive, in this way that is very common in romantic media troupes. Like I'm always on edge when he's on screen cause I feel he could be Joe Goldberg from YOU or something if shown from his perspective (sorry for another netflix comparison). But I'm open to being criticized on that because YOU did just taint my reading of every attempt at more traditional gentlemen romantic character on TV.

Sand

Poor Sand :(

Ok also unnecessary to seek revenge in that way and telling ray about the recording was oh so stupid. He did ultimately caused everyone's chaos without actually being direct about it and in a way that ended up implicating everyone; and he was our most wholesome character, so that didn't pass unnoticed to me but still...

Poor sand :(

I was happy with how quickly and undramatically and genuinely he apologized to Nick and supported Nick and assumed his mistake. Hands down the most genuine principled character in this series in both romantic love and friendship.

Ray

Personally I very very much feel Ray tho. Pursuing this infatuation that is nothing but your own projection after a person has repeatedly rejected you both with and without a partner, both 2 years ago and a few weeks/months ago. - instead of someone you have gotten to know and be intimate with and you're falling for reciprocally. Like been there, it feels stupid and embarrassing to watch, but also, I feel him. To desire this dream you've been feeding in the midst of years of trauma and addiction and feeling aimless in life, he had fed this so so much as if it was his only way out of the cycle, his only salvation, that of course it holds more influence still in him than the very real possibility of mutual love & care with Sand.

We could've had a mature poly maybe, if he is really so adamant of "I can have feelings for two people", but I don't really trust that in his state, and anyway if so, do it with respect. Instead he just drops Sand and goes back to treating him a bit like he is service, or guaranteed, or like he can buy him. The way Sand got into that bath tub after Ray broke his arm and he went to help him recover, baby nooo get out of there cmon.

Also on Ray.. I wanted to point out that while he was with Sand he became so much better as a person, less messy, less entitled, he opened up. But in no way did he stop drinking.

I'm not arguing that drinking that much is a good thing, it definitely isn't good and he should work towards calming it down. but he keeps being blamed for drinking alcohol, and like alcohol is destroying his life, but actually alcohol is more a consequence than a cause (as often is). He was drinking and drunk and doing drugs with Sand, but he was held, and he was relating, cared for, and he was turning out to be a genuinely nice person. Yes I think he could learn how to give better care back to Sand, even in their best moments, but I believe he was on a right path.

The chaos within him returns when the whole Mew infatuation is triggered again. And this makes sense - he drinks because he was always rejected by his family, importantly so, his mother. Mew is a continuation of that rejection, Mew is what his destructive depressive side keeps feeding on to tell himself he is worthless, that he doesn't deserve to be loved, that he will always be rejected. He has deep abandonment and rejection trauma, exacerbated but not started by alcohol. And sadly, he is surrounded by people in their own individualistic, predominantly romantic treadmills, that do not know how to be friends. His main issue is not getting intoxicated by alcohol, is being drowned in a fairly toxic "friend" group. And this is another example of why this show cannot write good relationships that aren't monogamous and romantic, and will always privilege those. Sand is the saving romance to what friendship in this universe will never be powerful enough to heal. And I find this overall message of 1-1 romantic love trumps everything, that is drilled into the essence of this show, deeply problematic. But more on that later.

Nick

Nick..........................

I don't know really. It's too much

It's so delusional poor guy.

It's too much for me to relate I think. I relate to the overwhelmingness of feeling, and I appreciate the representation of a deep feeler in this series and within queers or gays. Like he really said I will sob snort for this boy. But on the grand scheme of: wire-tapping Boston’s car, listening to the recording on what looked like noise canceling headphones, begging for him to stay, messaging and stalking the party... But also - giving Mew the info about AND the name of the person with Boston's sextape? He's so lost, no action he takes has a logic sense in any goal or narrative.

And I think it's cause he's lost between his good ethics and values and his obsessive infatuation for Boston. He's also generally too much of a puppet for everyone, he's lost and deranged for a boy who gave him not only crumbs but a tiny amount of crumbs about to get moldy. I found his fall into heartbreak and desperation so cringe to watch, and I felt really both sad and pity and shame for him - it was almost empathizing at one point cause we all have been played to some extent, but it went too far for me to be able to relate. But I feel for him, and also, I eye-roll for him in equal measure.

Chueam

I'm still disappointed with not getting proper Chueam content, and a story line that doesn't revolve around the messy gays. I would love if we had left the misogynist troupe of the fag-hag in the 90s and early-2000s (I know she's a lesbian, but still), and started treating women and giving them attention and stories, and defining them for themselves over being some balance or moral compass for the men. That would be much more queer, even if she was straight, than whatever this background lesbianism they went for, it's giving Willow in Buffy but set in G-A-Y Late (gay club in London, substitute for your own gay club reference).

Generally, to conclude, and sorry it's so long cause I don't feel like editing:

There's a few things that are becoming quite apparent to me, that I still would love and think it's possible to change a bit, but have little hopes it will.

1) This dude hates sex! (the creator). All the sex in this series has weird dynamics in it, it's like none of them can just fuck. Even the "slut" that is Boston, we are told he fucks around a lot and there's so many guys, but every instance of fucking that we actually are shown or are alluded to on screen, has resulted in something bad. There has been 0 genuine, non-weaponised, non-traumatic, instances of sex in this show, that weren't a part of, or even the start, of a train of terrible consecutive downhill events. Even Virgin Mew's first time is tainted by him using it as coin to get Top to stop doing coke, and also tainted by Top being dishonest just before when they just both said they'd be honest. Sex is a plot point to make everything go to shit in this universe. Let people fuck unharmed!

2) For a queer show, it's really going above and beyond to paint every aspect of queer life that isn't a straight-edge, monogamous, and orientated towards building family and career, as negative. We are meant to feel for poor delusional Nick, because he is trying to save Boston from himself and his proclivity for prostate with a promise of love and monogamy. Top himself is now beginning to assume this role in relation to Mew. We even get a random-ass parallel scene of Jennie the bar owner having a break up with her partner cause she doesn't wanna move in together. Like allow me to ask why we needed this? they were sweet and reliable as side-characters, there were numerous other plot points they could've picked to give them some spotlight, and to shine light on the tribulations of dating as trans, and trusting your partner as trans, which is the closest to a good point I can dig out of that scene. But they went for an explosive argument that equates not wanting to move in together and do a next step in normative romance, as being an issue, as being the only continuation, no other parallel paths to love can exist. There is no future in relationships in this universe that doesn't end in your typical nuclear family constellation. And this is a queer show!!!

3) For a show with "Friends" on the title, and presented in its first episode exposition as about this group of friends, it is very unconcerned with the idea of friendship.

There's a loose connection between some characters but rarely have I seen acts of true friendship. I think Sand and Nick is the best, potentially only, good representation of a healthy friendship with no extra manipulative dynamics, even with the unfortunate tainting with betrayal, the apology and resolution is rooted in a healthy and horizontal and unselfish friendship; Mew supporting Ray when he (almost?) took an overdose in the bath years before is one too; Sand consistently helping Ray could be considered that even though the intentions are muddled with romance; maybe Top now helping Mew we could make an effort to see it as an act of friendship because he told Chueam he wanted to help him even if they don't end up together. Of course Chueam too, but again she's the woman insert to be the balance to the slutty selfish men, the voice of reason on the other side of the scale (I don't feel like going further into the stereotypical gender binarism of this, but...).

I'm scrambling so much for examples that even Boston giving Mew a slight phone pep-talk before he loses his virginity could be considered one in this world of absolute friend scarcity? But it's all a reach. They all have fairly complex histories and including some trauma, and not once have they had a heart-to-heart and tried to help each other through, they base their interactions in moaning about their current - or their pursuits of - romantic relationships, or judging those who are not pursuing them, or have addictions that impact them in finding one.

The occasions of help happen ultimately because people have reached such a desperate state that they need a dramatic intervention; and the fact characters reach this level of desperation shouldn't surprise us, because ultimately all of them lack the foundational support of a good friend group.

And this makes sense with my point 2 above - this show is deeply unconcerned with any type of relationship that isn't 1-on-1 romantic partner love. These folks just happen to share space, almost at random, in their lifelong pursuit of a regular long term partnership that ultimately exists in a contextual friendless void. Which makes me think about the wider context of why they're spending time together and this hostel they're opening for a school project. Of course they were "friends" before, and so we are told, but the moments we experience of them together is one in which they are out together for a reason, for school, and not simply because they love each other and want to hang out. I'd love to see them leave their current partners at home a few more times and just hang out in a bar as pals.

The End

And that's what they wrote until episode 9. Neely already sent me their final thoughts so I'll post them later this week.

Thanks for reading💜

I'll tag some people that left comments last time or reblogged. @doyou000me @respectthepetty @italianpersonwithashippersheart @o-nao-lugar @lurkingshan @heiscomingtomygrave If anyone else wants to get tagged for the final one let me know.

[dont-look-up-at-the-sky]

Something I find amusing about C.C. & Lelouch's relationship (spoiler: it's not amusing at all) As a premise, despite everything I'm going to say, CluClu is my otp and will ever be, so this is not intended as a hate shitpost, even if who doesn't like them as a couple is also absolutely welcome to give their take. Furthermore, the topic of my discourse is just their relationship regardless you see it as romantic or not.

Now, to get to the matter, let's take a look first at the other two girls. I've always felt that Lelouch relationship with Shirley and Kallen were somewhat unbalanced, since they clearly had deep, sincere feelings towards him, but as much as he reciprocated them (as friends or almost-lover it doesn't matter here), it's always been them to give the strongest evidence of these feelings. He obviously cared a lot about both, and if I'm being honest I think that Shirley could have been his first love, but he only shows how much important they are to him under dramatic circumstances or if solicited, in response to some showing of "affection" from their part.

In Shirley's case, when he kisses her back after her father's death, when he wipes off her memories, when he blushes because he was expecting her to kiss him and then, sadly, when she dies. As for Kallen, the strongest example that comes to mind to me is when he says "you have to live" after he lied so that she didn't sacrifice her life for him. (I won't take into consideration when he made a move on her, for the following reasons: because he was at his lowest point and was only looking for something to numb himself, sex was the same as drugs at that time, no less self-destructive, and definitely not an act of love; moreover, because he didn't show her any affection AT ALL—what he said to her was straight up insulting and degrading (I state this as a matter of fact, but I'm not judging him here, I could talk about this another time), not something I would proudly bring as a proof of his feelings for her. Lastly, because my point now it's not to demonstrate which girl he had ROMANTIC feelings for.)

Then we have C.C. The only one among the three whose feelings for him were ambiguous to say the least. For the most part of the story, she manipulated and used him for her purposes by encouraging him towards the path that was most convenient for her. She knew from the start the truth about his mother, she watched him struggle and never said a word because that could have made him falter in his determination. She was aware of Charles plans, which she had been complicit with in the past, and also that he had a geass, but never shared these informations with Lelouch, again because that could damage her aim. She was the person who more than anyone else saw how much he was suffering, and I believe she started to care about him even early on the story, but still this wasn't enough to stop her.

Obviously she was conflicted, she often looks torn between what she wants to gain from him and a genuine feeling that she can't allow herself to have. Also, we could argue that, had she really wanted to go all the way with her plan, she could have done so already by trying to kill him, in order to push him to accept the code as the nun did with her (we know from Charles and V.V. that's not necessary to wait for the geass to evolve in both eyes). But she never does this. Deep inside she's not as selfish as she pretends and would like to be, and at a closer look it's lecit to wonder if at some point her decision to stay at his side wasn't for her purposes anymore, even if that was what she kept telling herself—but this doesn't make her actions towards Lelouch any less wrong, any less selfish and manipulative.

As I stated before, among the three C.C. is the only one who, even if she truly had feelings for him, never prioritised them over herself. Even the scene where she comforts him after Euphemia's death is ambiguous, since those words and that gesture came from a person who was taking advantage of him all along.

What about Lelouch though? To me it's always been even shocking how open his feelings for her were (whether you intend them as romantic or not, again, it doesn't matter!). We know him as a person who always acts quite cold (even if he's not), but then we have "I don't know why snow is white, but I think it's beautiful", "If you're a witch then I shall become a warlock", "I promise you the smile you never had", even that snarky "I cannot be friends with a goddess, I've made a contract with the devil". He worries that she could get hurt or die even if he knows she's immortal. To not speak about how he allows himself to be vulnerable in front of her and just her.

So, to refer to the title, what I find "amusing" is how the girl he shows most openly his feelings for is exactly the one who apparently reciprocate less and, for a fact, the one whose reasons for being at his side have always been not totally genuine.

That could open another matter of analisys which I find interesting about Lelouch, namely how his relationship with Suzaku is an ulteriore example of how he clings the most to the people who somewhat reject him and don't give him any assurance that they won't leave him. From a psychological point of view, it seems in line with a young man who in his childhood has suffered from severe trauma bounded to loss and abandonment. It's common in these cases to have the strongest reactions to real or imaginary threats of abandonment, while unconsciously re-enacting the trauma by being emotionally driven towards those who show they could leave at any moment unless you make efforts to hold them back. But this could be the subject of another topic one day, a topic that I would probably call "why I think that Lelouch shows many symptoms of borderline personality disorder, despite the more popular fan-diagnosis that I feel are sometimes dued to a general misunderstanding of personality disorders". Well, that's it! I'm curious to read your opinions, if you like to share :)

[lady-fey]

Every Character Follows a Set of Rules

Writing consistent characters can be a challenge. One of the best tips that I have for overcoming that challenge is to accept the fact that every character is going to follow a set of rules. They may not necessarily be logical rules, but they’re there. The trick to being a good writer is establishing those rules and then following them OR putting in a ton of work to justify breaking them.

Let’s look at some examples from popular media starting with a simple character: Samwise Gamgee from Lord of the Rings.

Sam arguably has a single rule that guides him and that rule is this: Sam is loyal to Frodo above all others and will put his own life at risk to protect Frodo and assist him in the completion of his mission.

This is the thing that guides Sam’s every action in LotR. If you’re writing a scene where Sam has to make a choice, just ask “what’s the best thing for Frodo” and that’s what you have Sam do. He’s basic, but notably still well loved, which is why I picked him. Complexity does not a good character make, but good characters can be complex, which brings us to example two: Tony Stark from the MCU.

Tony is a complex, messed up character, but you can still sum him up with a handful of rules:

Tony is a suspicious person who assumes that everyone wants something from him. It takes a lot for a person to earn his trust, but once they have it, he’s incredibly loyal to them.

Tony shows that he cares through material things like weapons upgrades and extravagant gifts. He will not show physical affection easily and often downplays just how much effort he’s put into something to avoid being hurt if the giftee don’t like what he’s made.

Tony’s greatest asset is his mind. He is always coming up with plans. and he will always take the path that he feels is best, even if that means great personal sacrifice

Tony is naturally curious and loves learning and inventing. He can’t help but want to solve any puzzle you give him, often sacrificing his health to do it.

Tony hates to show weakness, hiding his hurt behind a snarky attitude or self-destructive behavior. He’s never going to tell people that something is wrong unless he absolutely has to. You usually have to force it out of him.

Tony values those he loves and humanity/large populations more than he values himself. He doesn’t want die, but he will take that risk if that’s the best option.

This is how you write Tony Stark. Follow these rules, add in some sarcastic quips, and you’re mostly golden. However, there are a few scenes throughout the series where Tony breaks rule six and does something to put himself above a person who earned his loyalty. The big example is in Captain America: Civil War, which ends with Tony doing something that’s pretty out of character. However, that scene still works because the entire movie is centered around putting Tony in a position where he’s pushed to his limit. The writers actually talk about this openly, saying that they knew that they’d need to put Tony under a ton of stress for the ending to work because, under normal circumstances, Tony wouldn’t do that.

This is how good writers think. They don’t say “A needs to happen no matter what character Y would do” they ask “okay, would character Y normally do A?” and, if the answer is no, then they figure out what they need to do to make that choice believable. You can get a character to do almost anything if you play your cards right. For example, you can have a sweet kind character who would never hurt a fly do something as extreme as murder if you put someone they love in danger.

If you feel like you struggle with keeping characters consistent, start thinking about them from this rules perspective. A good exercise is to pick a character that you love and see if you can figure out their rules. To do this, focus on how they act under normal conditions and then think about what the author does if/when the character does something that breaks their rules. What stressors did they have to put them under?

I don’t actively write down my characters rules most of the time, but this is how I think of them and how I’m able to write people who are very different from me. It’s also worth noting that you can list out as many rules as you need to help yourself stay consistent. They don't have to be these big idea rules that I've focused on here. They can be more simple stuff like "Amy will always stop to pet a dog." Once you have your rules, just make sure you always follow them or that you always justify breaking them. Do that you shouldn’t have any problem writing someone who’s believable.

[consumeroflemoans]

Me I want to hear about it

*cracks knuckles* Oh boy let’s go.

Also yeah very minor spoilers for twst up to book 7 since I mention Malleus’s overblot and also Styx stuff.

Starting off

Categorizing Twst characters to fears.

Malleus is pretty obviously attributed to the Lonely. The entire reason he overblotted was over a desire not to be Lonely. Plus he's very isolated in general due to his status, magical ability, and general vibe.

Lilia I think would be an Avatar of the Slaughter. Especially during wartimes. I think in an AU he managed to sever his connection to the entity after he found Silver.

Silver I don't think would follow a particular entity. He just knows about them thanks to Lilia.

Sebek I think would also not follow an entity. Similar to Silver, he just wants to help Malleus escape the Lonely

Idia I'm debating between making an Avatar of the Lonely or the Web. I think Styx as a whole would be an organization following the Web due to their intelligence ties and the ways they can manipulate governments. Idia himself would be closer to the Lonely, sort of falling off the path of the Web after Ortho's death. He still has ties to both.

Ortho would be tied to the Web, being a part of Styx

Rook I think it's pretty obvious he would be an avatar of the Hunt.

Vil I think it would be fascinating if he was tied to the Stranger. It's all about performances and deception, though not in the same way as the Web.

Epel I think would also be tied to the Stranger. I'm really struggling to explain it properly, but he's not really his true self? I guess?

Jamil would be a fascinating avatar of the Web, even if I'm giving way too many characters to it. He's manipulative and his specialty magic allows him to control people's actions. Also he feels like he's trapped, being controlled by Kalim's family. Plus he has a fear of spiders and bugs lol

Kalim I don't think would follow any fear. He's largely unaware of them and I think he would only learn about them because of Jamil.

Azul it's pretty obvious would be a part of the web. He's always part of long term schemes and using those around him to his own benefit. Also his specialty magic traps people in contracts, placing them under his control.

Floyd would be an avatar of the Spiral. He's all about short term deception and would totally gaslight people. Also there's the thing of his mood always changing. He has more chaotic schemes and does things for his amusement more than a long term goal.

Jade would be an avatar of the Eye. He collects and uses people's secrets against them. He's very much the knowledge collector of the group. Not to mention his specialty magic requires someone to look into his eye. Also it allows him to force someone to answer a question of his truthfully.

Leona would be tied to the Desolation. He's already tied to fire at times in the game. Plus his specialty magic allows him to dissolve anything into sand.

Jack I think would be tied to the Hunt. I think it would be more likely for beastmen to be tied to the hunt due to them still having the predator/prey dynamic within their societies.

Ruggie I was debating of being affected by the corruption but ehhh I'm not sure.

Riddle would be an avatar of the Desolation. He's often tied to both fire and destructive anger. He harms others, but it's not as senseless as the Slaughter, he has a sense of righteousness behind it.

Deuce I think would be a recovering avatar of the slaughter kind of like Lilia. He grew up with ties to senseless violence and is now trying to resist the urges to harm others.

Cater would also be an avatar of the Eye but I don't think he would know it. Gossip, knowledge, the gathering of secrets, it all fuels him and he doesn't even know it. He thinks he's just a gossip girly.

Trey would be another fascinating avatar of the stranger. He seems like such a normal, average guy, except there's something oh so subtly off about him.

I don't think Ace would be tied to an entity. I think he would be kind of like Kalim, just a guy until he's dragged into knowing about the mess by some friend.

A couple bonuses:

Chenya would very obviously be tied to the spiral. The Cheshire Cat just screams casual deception and gleeful manipulation. He's a chaotic mess and I love him.

Rollo would be tied to the desolation and would despise it. He wants to completely wipe the others from existence using his cleansing fire.

How Blot Works

Blot is a result of the Corruption. It slowly corrodes a mage’s mind and magic overtime. This fact is largely unknown to the general public.

Styx’s Purpose

While Styx is largely still a blot research facility, that is also a front for other research. They serve the Web and in doing so, gather information about the other entities. The public doesn’t know about the fears and Styx intends to keep it that way. Their research on the Corruption is most well known thanks to blot, but they have even more secret facilities for each fear. Their plans are still largely unknown, but they are keeping a very close eye on Night Raven College due to the large amount of students with a tie to the fears.

Bonus:

I got excited and made a beta design for Che’Nya because he is such a Spiral girlie you have no idea

[god-of-knk]

Alright. Uh. This got long. So I'm putting it under a cut. Also a lore dump on Envi and Yagi in our... not-really-an-AU. Because it's kind of significant in understanding how important they are to each other.

Envi and Yagi were both created at the same instance in time. They were collectively the first of Satanick's subordinates, created on complete accident when he was young. After, uh, an incident, they both sort of just... popped into existence. In Envi's case, to hold the pieces of him that he couldn't handle holding himself. In Yagi's case, to almost act as the voice of reason that no one around him would be and he was absolutely not capable of being. With... knowledge that they didn't feel they should be able to know. Primarily about their creator and themselves. They also both popped into existence very differently.

Envi, we pretty frequently joke is basically the personification of BPD. His very first moment of consciousness was blinding rage with seemingly no purpose or reason. He holds a lot of the anger and hatred Satanick would have otherwise felt for Fumus, and developed a fiercely protective disposition towards Satanick very quickly. Which eventually evolved into an infatuation and obsession with him. He's emotional and impulsive and violent and it's very difficult for him to see folks in any way other than black and white; good for or bad for Satanick.

Yagi, on the other hand, is highly analytical and rational. In the beginning, nearly everything he did was based in logic. He's an expert at rationalizing things and seeing the world in the shades of gray it really is. However, he also tends to refuse to take accountability for any of his actions because he can usually explain them away. He's much better at shutting his emotions out and tends to seem pretty apathetic. Over the years, however, he's certainly... become more impulsive. He's never been as impulsive or emotion-driven as Envi, though.

They've always been each other's most trusted confidante. Since the very day of their creation. They often meet up for drinks together (they used to just go on walks when Satanick was still young because there was not a bar where they lived), venting their frustrations and seeking the understanding they've only ever found in each other (granted, it's usually Envi venting... Yagi tends to just. Solve his problems). However, Envi also has the tendency to exhaust Yagi. One can only listen to the same problem so many times. And he worries deeply about Envi's obsession. He knows it has the capability of pushing him to hurt someone Satanick cares for (in fact, it has, though Envi hasn't ever told him so) and, in turn, get him hurt.

The convoluted...ness started when they both got wasted one particular night. Envi was, as per usual, ranting about things. That time, about Satanick's propensity to self-destruct and how much it tires him. Yagi... was too exhausted to care very much. Think of your typical "oh no, that's so horrible," when they're not even listening.

Then Yagi just... grabbed him and kissed him. Mostly to shut him up. Because he was exhausted and can only listen to Envi rant about the subject of his obsession for so long.

One thing led to another and Sullivan found them behind the bar later that night.

(That night is actually the night we've been working on a mini-comic about lol.)

They're both too stubborn to be the first to bring it up. So it's never been acknowledged, and neither has the fact that it happened again. And again. And again... and eventually became something of a routine. Seeking comfort in the only being who either of them feels really understands them. Plus, it provides a very much needed distraction for the both of them from their chaotic lives.