#his gay ass won’t betray his boyfriend!

[pop-squeak]

heterosexual!!

[astralkoo]

Mr. Slim Thick | Jungkook

Pairing: Jungkook x reader

Genre: smut, fluff, high school au 

Warnings: sub!jungkook, dom!reader, language, reader has a major thigh kink oof, thigh riding, bondage, oral & fingering (m. receiving), unprotected sex, probably other stuff that I forget oops 

Summary: getting paired up with the kid with the thick thighs from your health class for a project is probably the best thing to happen to you in your high school career. 

Word Count: 7.4k 

A/N; if you’ve seen this before, its because its from my book Domination from my wattpad account Bangtanbbabies, I’ve decided to post my stories from there onto here as well just for the hell of it, enjoy my lovelies ;)

it was Monday.

and you were fucking tired.

but luckily, it was the last period of the day; health.

as usual, Jimin was talking your ear off about some guy he screwed around with at a party last weekend.

as usual, you hummed and nodded, throwing out mindless 'oh really?'s and  'that's wild's as your mind wandered to somewhere different entirely.

and as usual, your eyes were glued to the door, waiting impatiently for a certain someone to finally grace the room with their presence. and finally, he did.

your body went rigid, jaw slacking, eyes widening as Jeon Jungkook slipped into your health classroom.

his body was adorned by a complimenting pair of ripped skinny jeans that hugged his lower body in all the right places, a loose black t–shirt that was cleanly tucked into his pants, put on a teasing show of the lower part of his toned biceps, and a pair of his infamous timberlands.

"y/n."

you felt yourself falter as you took notice of the thick black belt wrapped around his waist, drawing attention to just how slim it was.

holy fucking hell.

no matter how many times you saw him, you were never able to get over just how fine he was.

when he walked past your desk, you had to remind yourself repeatedly that it would technically be conserved sexual assault if you just reached over and spanked his ass.

...unless he was into that... then you were fucking golden.

but no, you refrained from touching him inappropriately (to your own disappointment) and resorted to just watching him.

you watched as he strode gracefully through the classroom, weaving his way through the desks until he reached that of his best friend, Kim Taehyung.

you watched as he grinned at him, small, pink lips molding around the words of a greeting.

you watched as he pressed his large hands against the top of the desk, leaning his body over it slightly, putting the profile of his curvy backside on full display for your hungry eyes.

"y/n."

your tongue slid over your lips, eyes zeroing in on your personal favorite part of his gorgeous body: his thighs. those babies could crush watermelons. but you'd rather them be wrapped around your head.

"y/n!"

"jesus fuck what do you want?" you hissed, whipping around to face park jimin, your best friend of ten years. "can't you see I'm trying to enjoy the walking porn star?"

"you're drooling, perv," he rolled his eyes, "literally."

you raised your hand to your lips, "am not— oh fuck." you quickly used your sleeve to wipe off your damp chin as Jimin snorted loudly.

"do you know nothing of subtlety?"

"I'm subtle," you scowled at him defensively, hands dropping against your desk with a harsh thud that drew a few eyes in your direction.

"sure, that's the reason why the only person unaware about your little infatuation is Jungkook himself, and that's because straight dudes are stupid oblivious."

you pouted, arms crossing stubbornly over your chest, "I'm not infatuated, just interested."

"yeah, in his body."

"nuh–uh!"

"yuh–uh!"

you swatted at his arm harshly, making him gasp dramatically, before he childishly hit you back. soon enough, it turned into a full blow smack war.

"ms. l/n, mr. park. if you wouldn't mind postponing your flirting until after my class, I'd greatly appreciate it," your teacher smiled sarcastically at the two of you.

you rolled your eyes, about to lean back in your seat, when suddenly Jimin's arms were around you, tugging your body into an awkward position against the arm of your desk as he all but groped you. "but, miss, you don't understand, I just can't keep my hands off of her."

your teacher grimaced, "I implore you to try, mr. park."

Jimin pouted, gripping your chin, staring intensely into your eyes. "but she's just so sexy... I can hardly contain my raging testosterone. you know, miss, a man has his needs." you gasped exaggeratedly as his hand suddenly gripped your butt, squeezing.

"naughty boy~ we were just in the janitor’s closet during lunch," you 'whispered', biting your lip, both for the little show you two were putting on but also to contain the laugh threatening to burst out of you, "do you already need more, daddy?"

he moaned loudly, eyes fluttering shut. you slapped your hand over your mouth, head falling against his shoulder as your body shook with silent laughter.

that seemed to be the last straw for your teacher because she looked about ready to burst from the twenty shades of red her face was turning.

but, instead of throwing detentions in your faces (knowing she'd have to spend an extra hour after school with the two of you tormenting her), she brought her fingers to her temples, massaging roughly, muttering to herself several times in a row, "ten more years until retirement. jail time isn't worth it."

"I think we broke her," you cackled, Jimin nodding in agreement.

"alright," she shouted suddenly, slamming her hands down on the top of her desk, "enough time wasted. since I have no interest in so much as attempting to teach you hormonal reprobates, I'm going to give you a project."

Jimin and you side eyed each other hopefully, waiting for her to spit out those last words.

"and you will be working in groups of two or three,"

the class erupted into eager conversation, people turning to their friends and shooting looks across the room. you and Jimin performed your secret hand shake, cheering excitedly. until,

"that will be randomly assigned."

groans of protest and annoyance filled the room. she just rolled her eyes and pulled up a randomizer on her computer, spinning a wheel and waiting for the groups to be assigned. she turned to screen around to face the class, who quickly scrambled out of their seats to see who they'd be working with.

there were a few sighs of disappointment but no adamant protests. once you and Jimin reached the screen, seeing your names paired together, you high–fived, muttering out a, "hell yeah." but your excitement was cut short by your buzzkill of a health teacher, who quickly took notice of your eagerness.

"well that just won't work," she tsked, shaking her head disapprovingly, "for the love of all things holy and pure you two should definitely not be paired together. hold on just a moment."

"miss, you can't be serious, we were just—" you began.

"mr. jeon, please switch with mr. park and be ms. l/n's partner."

"see ya, bitch," you snorted, swiveling on your heels to face a confused looking Jungkook.

he glanced once at his irrelevant partner before shrugging and making his way over to you. you yelped as a sharp pinch was delivered to your arm.

"traitor," Jimin hissed as he stalked away from you. you simply shrugged, smirking to yourself.

for that fine piece of ass, you'd betray your bestie any day.

"hey, Jungkook," you grinned. he smiled lightly nodding in greeting as you both fell into nearby seats.

the entire rest of the class, ms. stickupherass was explaining what the project would consist of, you were completely zoned out. instead of listening, you were intensely focused on staring at the side of Jungkook's stupidly cute face.

your eyes traced the pronounced curve of his nose, fluttering over those little pink lips, following the strikingly sharp line of his jaw. this was the closest you've been to the boy since you accidentally ran into him in the hall, accidentally dropped your stuff, and accidentally let yourself admire his thighs and butt as he picked it all up like the gentleman he was.

so no, you were not about to waste this precious opportunity to listen to your teacher ramble on about some trivial project.

before you knew it, the bell was ringing.

with a disappointed pout, you began packing your belongings away.

"so... where should we work on the project?" his soft, breathy voice took you by surprise, sending shudders of delight down your spine just by the mere sound of it.

"hm?"

"when should we work on this?" he repeated with a soft giggle that had your heart doing all kinds of weird gymnastic tricks, "maybe in the library... we could stay after school if you want to?" he suggested softly

"and spend another hour of my life in this hell hole? no thanks," you scowled, nose scrunching at the suggestion. he nodded meekly in understanding, head lowering. you bit your lip lightly, resting your chin in the palm of your hand, "how about you come by my place after school today, and we can get some real work done there."

he seemed oblivious to the double meaning behind your statement. instead, he took on a somewhat worried expression, eyes drifting off somewhere else.

"would your boyfriend be okay with that?"

your face scrunched in confusion, "boyfriend, what boyfriend? I don't have a boyfriend. where the hell did you get that idea?"

he blinked at you, visibly bemused, "but, I thought you were with Jimin?"

you nearly choked on your own laughter as it came bursting from you lips, "please, he's about as straight as your ass looks in those jeans."

"what?"

lmao, exposed yourself bitch.

"he's gay, very gay."

"oh."

it was surprisingly easy to convince Jungkook to come to your house, despite his endearing refusals of not wanting to intrude, but you insisted. adamantly.

because intrusion was exactly what you were hoping for.

you even convinced him to let you drive him, seeing as he usually took the bus or got a ride from one of his older friends.

he looked cute as fuck sitting in your passenger seat, fiddling shyly with his fingers as his big eyes gazed out the window.

several times you had to stop your hand from reaching over the console and gripping those thick, luscious thighs. they were just fucking begging to be squeezed, and kissed, and bruised, and rode—

okay. so you might have a bit of an infatuation.

you knew it would be about fifteen million times harder to control the urge to grab him and fuck him in every position known to man once you actually had him in your house. especially with your parents at work...

it'd just be you, him, and the demon sitting on your shoulder with a massive thigh kink.

"welcome to mi casa," you sang, throwing yourself down on your living room couch, smiling cheekily up at a visibly uncertain Jungkook, "make yourself at home, babe."

you watched in amusement as his cheeks tinted a soft pink color as the nickname slid off your lips in a flirtatious purr. he faltered briefly, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth as his cheeks filled with air, eyes flickering noncommittally around the room.

"Come on, I don't bite," you grinned, patting the seat beside you, adding under your breath, "too hard."

he lowered himself onto the couch, and you pouted at the unreasonable (it was reasonable) amount of distance he put between you two, but decided to let it be. he pulled materials out of his backpack, setting them up on the table in front of you.

"do you think you can explain what exactly we're supposed to be doing, because I may or may not have completely zoned out while she was talking," you admitted.

he chuckled softly, "well, she said were supposed to make a poster showing or explaining the positive and the negative of engaging in sexual intercourse as teenagers, and it's supposed to show us how like, sex isn't worth the risk at a young age."

haha. yeah, okay.

"so, the pros and cons of fucking?" you reiterated, brows raising. his cheeks tinted a shade of pink at your blunt wording and he nodded slowly.

"y–yeah, I guess you could say it like that."

a wicked smirk twisted onto your face. wonderfully sinful ideas began to swirl to life in your mind. you were beginning to appreciate ms. stickupherass more and more every second.

until you actually started to do the project.

"one pro? really? that's all you can think of?" you scoffed in disbelief, staring at the t–chart he had compiled. the long list of negatives far outdid the single positive he had come up with.

"there is only one positive to sex: momentary pleasure. other than that there is literally nothing to gain besides std's and regret." he muttered, matter–of–fact.

"have you ever even had sex before?"

his deeply blushing face and skittering  eyes were all the answer you needed.

"you've never had sex before? are you crazy? then how the fuck can you sit here talking shit about it? that's like when people say pineapple pizza sucks before they've even tried it! It (insert opinion on pineapple pizza bc I'm not tryna start any wars ya feel), but I can say that because I've actually tried it before!"

"I know about all the risks and consequences that come with sex! it just doesn't seem worth it."

"but you're only exposing yourself to the negative. you gotta give yourself a chance to experience life and all its messy, beautiful qualities. you can't just make your mind about something you've never experienced before," you countered quickly, "sex can be... life changing."

"yeah, especially when you end up with a new addition nine months later."

"ever heard of protected sex, jackass?"

"no amount of protection is full proof."

you took a deep breath, closing your eyes. you will not hit Jeon Jungkook. you will not hit Jeon Jungkook. you will not hit Jeon Jungkook.

of course the first guy you've ever met to not want to have sex is the kid you've been obsessing over since the first day of high school. how fucked up is that.

"listen, Jungkook," you sighed, rubbing your temples, "sex is a whole lot more than you're giving it credit for."

"I know what—"

"hear me put, okay?" you interrupted quickly, giving him a pointed glare. he sealed his lips, nodding obediently. you continued, "sex isn't always just about pleasure. it's about intimacy, connection, trust, love. it's about forming a deeper relationships with someone. why do you think some people wait until after marriage? it's about putting faith in someone, and showing them trust."

he watched you intently as you spoke, lips faintly parted, eyes wide. every word that passed from your lips, he listened to devotedly.

"that's not to say sex can't be dirty or heartbreaking or wrong. believe me, I know it can be anything but good. but,  I've also seen how amazing it can be. if you do it right, with the right person, in the right place... shit, it can be—"

"life changing?" he finished for you, a thoughtful smile on his lips.

you chuckled, nodding. "exactly. and I'm not saying you should go out and fuck everything with a pulse. I'm just saying, sex isn't always this horrible, disgusting thing that you think it is. if it was, I doubt so many people would be having it."

all at once, his mouth was on yours. your eyes widened, body going rigid. well, you weren't expecting that.

just as quickly as he had kissed you, he pulled away. he looked horrified, mouth gaping, eyes practically popping out of their sockets. it seemed he was just as caught off guard as you were.

the kiss couldn't have lasted for more than three seconds. but in those quick seconds, you had gotten a taste of him.

and you wanted more.

he began to spit it a flustered mess of an apology, "holy shit, I'm so sorry, I don't know why I—"

"shut up," you growled, grabbing him by the back of the neck and drawing his lips back onto your own.

he emitted a sound of surprise, but didn't make a move to pull away. even so, his lips were puckered and stiff. it was obvious he had no idea what he was doing. chuckling, you leaned away just enough that your lips weren't touching.

"relax, Jungkook," you murmured, pecking his lips lightly.

"I'm sorry," he managed to choke out, face turning beat red for the umpteenth time that day, "I've just never... done this before."

"you've never kissed anyone before?" he shook his head weakly, features burning with embarrassment at his admission. you smiled, caressing your thumb over his warm cheek, "that's alright... I'll teach you."

"o–okay," he whimpered, dark eyes focusing in on your lips.

seeing the need that sparkled faintly within them, you decided not to make him wait any longer. you pressed your lips gently to his, moving slowly, but with purpose. his motions gradually grew from stiff and uncertain to relaxed and fluid. you let out a sound of approval, one of your hands sneaking down to squeeze his thigh.

god damn.

he gasped in your mouth, and you dipped your tongue skillfully between his lips. a loud moan escaped his chest, the sound sending chills down your spine. you couldn't help but to wonder what he would sound like moaning your name, begging for more...

that thought alone was enough to have you tugging him closer to you, pulling his leg over your lap until he was straddling your thighs. your hands wandered to his waist, thumbs rubbing small circles. he shuddered faintly, giggling into your mouth as you hit a ticklish spot.

"god, you're so cute," you chuckled, kissing over his jaw as his head tilted back, offering you more access. he mewled as you hit a weak place.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," he gasped, hands jumping up to grip your shoulders tightly.

"don't think too much, just enjoy," you purred, nipping at his collarbone playfully, "and follow my lead." the grip you had on his waist slipped down to his narrow hips, guiding them in slow grinding motions.

"o–oh," he swallowed, jaw slacking as his eyes dropped between you, watching himself grind against you. it didn't take long for a prominent bulge to form in his tight jeans, the restriction making him squirm. he let out a strangled whine, "y/n... it hurts."

you smirked, "why don't you strip for me, baby?"

his cheeks ignited in a hot crimson blush. "s–strip?" you hummed, unbuckling his belt and pulling it out from the loops, dropping it onto the floor. that may be useful later.

he nodded, "okay." you grinned, excitement boiling up inside of you, leaning back as Jungkook stood up before you. he bit his bottom lip, eyes fluttering shyly as he gripped the bottom of his black t–shirt.

"d–don't laugh."

your eyes widened, brows raising. "I would never laugh at you, I promise," there was steadfast certainty in your voice, your hand rubbing soothingly down the back of his leg, "it's okay if you don't want to do this—"

"no! no, I want to," he cut you off quickly, and you couldn't help the feeling of relief that washed over you.

"okay," you leaned back, "then take it off."

with an adorable look of determination, he began to strip; starting with his shirt. you had to bite your lip near the point of blood when he slowly peeled the fabric off of his body to keep from crying out 'glory, glory, hallelujah!'. hot was an understatement.

muscular shoulders that melted into sculpted biceps. a bulky chest that screamed push up fiend and formed into a set of six tight, toned abs.

"Jesus," your mouth watered.

you couldn't stop your hand from reaching out and caressing down his body, watching as his stomach flexed under your touch.

"work out much?" you smirked up at him.

he chuckled, shrugging faintly, "it’s a hobby of mine."

yeah, it fucking shows.

once again, your eyes slid down to see his erection still standing proud, straining hopelessly. you licked your lips lustfully. seeing what was above the belt, only made you want to see what was below it a hundred times worse.

"fuck, take your pants off," you impatience was beginning to show as your hands found the zipper of his jeans. but he suddenly grabbed your wrists. you looked up at him, concerned you'd gone too fast for his liking.

but his dark, desire filled eyes and the playful smirk on his lips told you otherwise. "please... let me," he murmured, you nodded in a slight daze from the look he was giving you. releasing your wrists, he slowly pushed his jeans over his hips, letting them slip teasingly down his thick thighs, before they finally pooled at his ankles, where he had earlier kicked off his timbers.

you groaned softly, nearly melting at the sight of his bare legs in front of you. shaved, they were fucking shaved. you could see the taunt muscles bulging underneath his soft skin. and holy fuck his thighs, his thighs, his fucking thighs. tan and big and bite–able.

shit, they were even hotter than you imagined.

"you... you can touch me... if you want..."

his soft, bashful voice broke you from the trance you'd put yourself in, and you quickly snapped your stare away from his thickness and up to his face. he looked shy again, bottom lip sucked into his mouth, cheeks rounded, raised, and tinted by a subtle pink, eyes big and shiny in the most endearing way imaginable.

how the holy fuck were you supposed to say no to that.

in less than a second your hands were back on his thighs, rubbing, squeezing, savoring. his skin was warm and tight under your greedy hands, tensing every time your fingers grazed a particularly sensitive area.

just touching suddenly wasn't enough. leaning forward, you grazed your lips over the hem of his tight boxers, biting gently at the flesh just below it. he trembled, moaning softly as you placed a flurry of kisses and light sucks on his legs.

thigh kink? confirmed.

you were so close, you could see his erection growing by the second. and shit was that a turn on. with a twinge of reluctance, you detached your mouth from his thighs, peering up at his slack jawed face with a smirk.

"you look good in black, Jeon," you teased, lightly tracing your index finger over his boner.

"please, y/n," he moaned, his knees beginning to grow weak underneath him. as much as you would have loved to have kept teasing the hell out of him, there were far more important matters to take into consideration.

pulling away from him, you shifted over to make room for his large body on the couch. "down," you demanded.

he all but launched himself onto the couch, before staring at you like an obedient puppy awaiting his next command. you were already power hungry enough as is, and now he was looking at you like that? the fuck was he trying to do to you?

he yelped in surprise as you planted your hands on his shoulders, shoving him back. he fell, head landing near the arm rest, torso propped up on his elbows, legs parted, one foot resting on the floor. he looked like a work of art laid out like that. you could just devour him.

you crawled on top of him, trapping his head between your hands. "do you know how long I've wanted you, Jungkook?" you muttered, brushing your nose over his. he shook his head, breathing heavily as you positioned one of your knees against his crotch. "do you know how long I've wanted to have your gorgeous body underneath mine? too fucking long."

he moaned out as you pressed into him, at the same time capturing his mouth in yours in a wet, sloppy, hungry kiss that had his mind reeling. his large hands gripped your jaw, one of his legs hooked over your hip, keeping you close to him. he loved feeling you.

"do you know how much of a tease you are?" you growled against his mouth, biting his bottom lip. "shit, you have to know. walking around in those tight jeans, showing off that tight little ass. you love it, don't you? having everyone's eyes all over you."

he was panting as his hips began to slowly grind against your leg, desperate for friction. "I– I never realized—"

you cut him off with a hand around his throat, tsking softly, "don't lie to me, baby. liars get punished." shit, y/n don't get too kinky on him, it's still his first time, you silently reminded yourself. but he seemed to enjoy it enough, because his grinding became rougher and faster, to the point where he was essentially dry humping your leg.

"f–fuck, punish me," he moaned out, clenching and unclenching his fists in your hair. you choked.

he was asking for it. literally asking for it. if it was any other guy, you would have already jumped his bones.

but this was Jeon Jungkook, your not so secret obsession since the beginning of high school. he was underneath you, horny, hard, and asking you to punish him. and yet, you still weren't sure.

on one hand; you wanted to fuck his shit up. you wanted to feel him writhing, hear him crying out, see him sweating. you wanted to wreck that boy. fuck him into oblivion, until he was seeing stars.

but on the other hand; he was still a virgin. he had no experience whatsoever, and had only just had his first kiss that day, with you. you didn't want to hurt him–hurt him his first time. you didn't know if he could take it.

Jungkook must have seen the conflicted expression on your face, because he made a soft noise to bring your attention back to him.

"please–," he whimpered, spreading his thighs with a needy moan, "please, be rough with me."

w—

was your life a joke to him?

"shit, Jeon," you huffed out a strained chuckle, "you're really fucking me up here."

he whimpered again, looking up at you pleadingly. "I can handle it, I promise. I want more. I want you."

was this the same guy that said the only things you can gain from sex are std's and regret?

it wasn't hard for him to shatter any tiny amount of resistance you offered with a single look. you nodded faintly, smiling as his face lit up. "don't be afraid to tell me to stop, okay? I don't want to get too carried away."

he hummed, head bobbing in acknowledgment.

"words, baby," you scolded.

"yes, I promise," he breathed, eyes honing in on your lips, "can you kiss me again?"

as much as you wanted to tell him this was serious, you still couldn't bring yourself to say no. you kissed him again, slowly this time. you chuckled at the feeling of his tongue prodding at your lips. "impatient thing, aren't you?"

he opened his mouth to respond, but could only manage a gasp as you began to trail your mouth down his body, until you were face to crotch with his throbbing arousal. you looked up at him with a cocked brow. "want them off?"

you had barely finished the question before he was rapidly nodding his head, biting his lip as he hummed desperately. chuckling at his eagerness, you slid your fingers under the waistband on his black Calvin Klein's, and tugged them down.

his erection swung out of it's confines like a god damn baseball bat, slapping against his stomach hard enough to make him flinch slightly. you don't remember ever seeing a guy that hard before. and you'd barely even touched him.

"impressive, baby," you purred, soothing your hands over the inside of his thighs. pressing a slow kiss to his hipbone, you murmured, "you're already so hard for me... it makes me wonder..."

your fingers glided closer and closer to where you knew he wanted you most, but never touching him. frustration blossomed on his face in the attractive shade of crimson.

"if I could make you come without even touching you."

he cried out, desperately shaking his head, "no, no please– I can't. please touch me. I need you, plea—" he cut himself off with a thunderous moan as your hand wrapped around his dick and began pumping quickly.

you smiled cheekily up at him, "since you said please."

he was already slick with his own pre cum, hot and throbbing in your palm. spluttering moans escaped his lips as his body tried to process the pleasure of your smooth, rapid strokes. little need be said that it was a lot for his virgin cock to handle in that moment.

his head jerked up when you suddenly pulled away, staring down at you with furrowed brows and hopeless eyes.

"you wanted me to kiss you, right?" it was more of a rhetorical question, and you didn't really give him the chance to reply anyways before your mouth was on his dick.

Jungkook cried loudly, throwing his head back as you french kissed his tip.

"f–fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck," he whined between harsh onslaughts of gasps and moans, tightly grabbing the armrest above his head. you hummed in admiration as his chest broadened and his skin tightened with the stretch, putting his taut pectorals on full display.

every flick and twirl of your tongue sent tendrils of pleasure shooting through his body in hot, wet, glorious waves. his back arched off of the couch cushion every time you sucked, cheeks hollowing, tongue flattening.

you watched, ego practically bursting out of your head at how responsive he was. every thrust of his torso, every tremble of his legs, every gorgeous sound that thrust itself from his lips went straight to your core. he was undeniably intoxicating.

he suddenly threw his legs over your shoulders, ankles locking on the small of your back. you moaned around him as you realized the position he'd just put himself in. your hands crawled up his flexing thighs, gripping them tightly.

talk about a dream come true. literally.

you applied some vigor to your motions, bobbing your head eagerly and twisting your tongue around him. you felt him begin to twitch in your mouth, the fluid leaning from his swollen cock lathering your tongue. that combined with the sounds he was making, beautiful, high whines, signaled that he was close. but you weren't done yet.

all at once, you pulled away, panting slightly but smirking nonetheless.

"w–why did you... s–stop?" he gasped, brows furrowing as he looked down at you desperately.

"because I want to show you another trick I learned during one of my rendezvous," you purred, kissing down his thighs to soothe the orgasm you prevented him from experiencing, "if you're up for it?"

"if it feels anything like that, I'm down," he was quick to agree, pulling his legs off of you as you sat up.

"I'm happy to hear that..." your eyes wandered below his dick, and your eyes glistened with excitement. before he could put two and two together, your fingers were tracing his lips. "do you mind sucking?" you asked. he shook his head, and you chuckled at his big doe eyes, sending you silent pleas, "then suck, baby."

he obediently took your fingers into his mouth, small lips delicately wrapping around them. you hummed in appreciation, loving the way he looked with your fingers in his mouth.

"that's right baby, use your tongue, make them wet," you groaned, pushing them deeper. he silently complied, tongue shyly swirling around them, cheeks going concave and he sucked gently. all the while, his eyes, wide and glistening, looked into yours, hungry for approval.

Jesus Christ, have mercy.

"you'll make me come in my pants if you keep this up," you joked, biting at the inside of your cheek. that statement only seemed to add fuel to the fire, because before you could process what he was doing, he had you fingers knuckle deep in his mouth, sucking them like his life depended on it. now, it was your turn to go slack jawed.

when it got to the point where you could feel the arousal beginning to drip between your thighs, you drew your fingers from his mouth. you shuddered with glee at the sight of a string of his spit connecting the tip of your finger to his lips. hot. hot, really fucking hot.

"damn, baby. you're good with your mouth," you chuckled breathlessly, trying to ignore the sexy way his brows rose in suggestive arches at your statement.

"I can be even better if you give me something hot and wet to eat."

well fuck you too, Jeon. now my ovaries have exploded, thanks a whole fuckin' lot you little tongue slut.

"maybe if you behave yourself, yeah?" you all but growled, feeling the heat in your body increase tenfold. and then he had the nerve to smirk at you. as if you weren't turned on enough. now you had to show him who the fuck was in charge here. "you're asking for it, Jeon."

he chuckled shortly, biting his lip. "then give it to me."

welp. there goes taking it easy his first time.

in seconds, you had his hands pinned above his head and the belt you had discarded earlier wrapped tightly around his wrists. he groaned at the feeling of the taut leather pulling at his delicate skin, loving the sensation of being restrained more than he thought he would.

"such a spoiled little brat, aren't you?" you snarled, grabbing one of his legs and forcing it up over your shoulder, holding the other against his chest. he bit his lip, eagerly nodding in agreement. "making demands like that. shit, you want it so bad? then have it, baby."

he cried out as the tips of your wet fingers slowly penetrated his virgin hole. hot, salty tears pooled in his eyes at the foreign stretch. you placed soothing kisses down his neck, murmuring sweet, encouraging words against his skin.

"tell me to stop if it's too much," you uttered, feeling his body trembling and tensing beneath you.

he quickly shook his head at that, "I'm okay– I'm okay... keep going... please keep going."

you praised him quietly, continuing to ease your fingers into him. his back arched deeply, forcing your chest together so firmly not even a piece of paper could slip between you. his head rolled to the side, panting lips pressing to his bicep, prominent bunny teeth biting into the flesh as his brows scrunched.

beautiful didn't begin to describe him.

"you're taking my fingers so well, baby," you cooed, thrusting your fingers shallowly, slowly in and out of him at a consistent pace, allowing his body to adjust properly. you could tell he was still in some pain, but it was quickly melting from his feature, being replaced by something entirely different.

"y/n," he drawled out a low moan, hips steadily beginning to roll in time with your fingers.

oh, you knew what that meant.

"you want more?"

he nodded quickly, whining for emphasis. you only grinned and continued your now painfully slow motions. he groaned in frustration when he tried to grind his hips down, only for you to grab them and pin them down. this was becoming torturous. this shallow pleasure and weak stretches weren't enough to get him anywhere. you know that. and now so did he.

face blossoming in a deep red, he weakly squirmed against his restraints in order to lift his head. "y/n, I can handle it, please! I need— shit," he squeaked loudly, eyes popping open almost comically when your fingers suddenly pushed deeply into him. his entire body jolted and you felt him clench around you.

"relax. you said you could handle it right?" he could only nod, words evading him as you pulled out, only to plunge right back in. the motion sent his head into a fuzzy state of euphoria that he'd never had the pleasure of encountering before.

it wasn't long before you were pumping into him at an arm numbing pace. your bicep and wrist ached, but you really couldn't care less. not with how utterly, stupefyingly gorgeous he looked.

hands bound above his head, which was thrown back as his strained throat shot out whorish moans. sweat making his rippling skin shimmer like an ocean at sunset. every muscle in his upper body was flexed and on full display for your greedy eyes, bulging and trembling.

"you look like you're about to just burst, Jeon," you teased, biting your lip at the sound of your palm connecting with his toned backside with sharp smacks.

wet? nah bitch you were drenched.

"w–wa... wait–wai... wait!" he gasped and moaned as your skilled fingers brought him closer and closer to the edge. you immediately still, quickly drawing your hand away from him.

"did I hurt you?" you asked, concern shining in your eyes.

"no, no it felt good. really good, fuck. I just..." you furrowed your brows in confusion, waiting for him to continue, "I don't want to come from your hand."

your brows raised, "oh?"

"I want you to fuck me."

oh.

a massive smirk split your cheeks. "don't have to tell me twice," you swooped down, kissing him fiercely. you moved the undo his binds, letting the belt hit the floor with a soft thud. with his freed hands, he reached down and helped you tug off your pants. you were both far too eager even bother taking off your underwear. you moaned softly as his slender fingers pushed the fabric to the side, grazing your wet lips.

he gasped, looking up at you with wide eyes. "you're so wet."

chuckling, you ground against his lingering fingers, moaning soft at the sparks of pleasure that followed. "mm, all because of you, baby." he blushed deeply, biting his lip to contain a wide smile. he hadn't realized he was affecting you just as much as you were affecting him.

he took you off guard as he slid his fingers against you, lightly pressing against your core, applying pressure to your sensitive clit. you jerked, legs quivering beneath the weight of your body. "easy, I'm not trying to come before I even get to feel you inside of me. I've waited too long for this."

in one swift motion, you sunk down on his erect cock. you gasped as he moaned in shock, both of you taken off guard by just how good it felt. you hadn't expected that much of a stretch, his dick filling you flawlessly. he hadn't expected you to be that tight, squeezing and clenching around him. he thought he was overwhelmed before, but this was an entirely different ball game. hehe, literally.

"oh my god, oh my god, oh my god," Jungkook choked, hands searching hopelessly for something to grab onto but unable to decide what he wanted to hold onto.

you chuckled breathlessly between soft moans, rolling your hips in slow figure eights. "God's got nothing to do with this, baby." You gripped at his muscular shoulders for support as you rode his dick.

truth is, he felt a thousand times better than you thought he would. he wasn't massive, but he was the perfect size for you, just thick enough to stretch you out without causing any real pain and long enough to reach that perfect, sensitive little spot inside of you with ease.

"fuck you feel so good," you groaned, throwing you head back as you sped up your pace, bouncing with renewed stamina.

Jungkook keened, feeling already himself teetering on that edge. but he didn't want to finish, he didn't want it to end. the feelings, the sensations you were giving him were unlike anything he'd ever faced before.

"y/n— I think I might–" he began to warn you, but his words got lost in gasping moans and hopeless whines. you got the message though, especially at the feeling of him throbbing and twitching inside of you.

"then I'm going to need you to touch me, baby," you guided his wrist to your aching pussy, moaning loudly when his fingers made contact with your swollen clit, "f–fuck right the–there."

he whimpered, wanting to please you just as much as you were pleasing him. "how?" he asked desperately, hips reflexively jumping as you clenched around him.

with your hand laid over top of his, you were able to lead his long middle finger in drawing small circles, until he was doing it all on his own. "oh shit, yeah– yeah, just like that... just like that." he couldn't hide the smile that grew at the sight of your eyes rolling to the back of your head, your mouth gaping in silent moans as his touches worked you closer and closer to your undoing.

but you wiped that smile off his face when your hands landed back on his chest, brushing his nipples and making his back arch upwards. you tested it again, this time with gentle pinches that had him crying out in euphoria, bucking into you hard.

"oh? you like that? you like getting your nipples played with? how cute." you managed, tweaking his hardened buds with a sadistic smirk. he sobbed, tears of pleasure rushing from his eyes. it was getting harder and harder to hold himself back. but he refused to come before you.

forcing his mind out of the euphoric haze, he put his hands and hips to work, drilling into you with every ounce of strength he had.

he managed to hit your sweet spot with every powerful thrust. and before you knew it, you were coming faster than you'd ever come before, vision filling with blinding stars, body going rigid above his and trembling uncontrollably. your walls constructed around him as you came with the most mind numbing orgasm you'd ever experienced, and that was just enough encouragement to have him exploding inside of you with a loud cry.

"fuck– fuck, y/n, fuck," he moaned, riding out his high with hard, sloppy thrust. you could only manage a weak whimper from oversensitivity, slumping on top of him, completely and utterly spent.

you laid them for at least five minutes, both of you trying to catch your breath and collect the wits that had just seemed to implode.

unexpectedly, you let out a bellowing laugh, wrapping your arms around his neck as his lazily looped around your back. "shit, Jeon. didn't know you had it in you," you giggled airily, kissing his shoulders in a surprisingly tender gesture.

he smiled, giggling along with you. "you brought it out of me."

"oh, I'm flattered, gorgeous," you cooed playfully, plastering kisses across his cheeks. he lightly swatted you away, squirming as you tickled at his sides.

with a soft sigh, you pushed yourself off of him. he watched in confusion as you grabbed his clothes off the floor, handing them to him. you chuckled when you saw the worried look on his face, leaning down to press a reassuring kiss to his lips. "as much as I enjoy cuddling after a good fuck, you should probably ditch before my parents get home. they’re not always so welcoming to strangers."

his shoulders relaxed, realizing you weren't just going to kick him to the curb after giving him the best afternoon of his life.

"understandable," he swiftly tugged on his shirt, followed by his pants and messily stuffed book bag. he turned back to you with a hopeful glimmer in his dark eyes, and a shy blush coating his cheeks. it was amazing that he was still so bashful after having just fucked your brains out.

"you'll... you'll text me... right?"

you laughed softly, cupping his jaw and drawing him into one last kiss. "how could I not?"

he grinned giddily, pecking your lips in his excitement. "okay! okay, good!" He coughed quickly, trying to cap his happiness, "I mean— cool, cool. very cool. I'll see you tomorrow. have a good— uh, night!"

you shook your head with a soft smile as he darted out the front door, closing it gently behind him.

"I might just have to keep you around, Jeon."

[jae-daddy]

Play

im jaebum mini series 

one / two / three / four / five / six (final) masterlist 

pairing: jaebum x reader genre: friends, angst, jealousy plot: you and jaebum have been really great friends. things have been going smoothly because neither of you were in a real relationship, flings? sure, but girlfriends/boyfriends? no. so when Jaebum starts going out with Emma (a bitch), you can’t help but act out <3 a/n: I dont know why I do this to myself... hope y’all like it. this is written very casually. this one will be like six part absolute max. 

“Hey, you know this isn’t going to happen right?”

“Huh?”

“This,” he gestured to the two of you sitting in your dark room. The bed comfortable underneath you as you watched Tangled. You realised how you were leaning against him; your head on his shoulder, your side pressed against him. “This isn’t going to happen.”

“Yeah,” you blew out, making a comical face as you snorted. “Of course not.”

You leaned away from him slightly, straightening onto the pillows behind you instead. You stared at the screen, your cheeks burning, “That would be hilariously disgusting, honestly.”

Shit.

Shit.

“Excuse me,” you said once the movie ended. Before the dark-haired boy could reply you walked into your bathroom, closing the door behind you.

You caught yourself in the mirror. Your eyes wide, your hair a mess, and a face of a fucked up girl staring back at you.

“Shit!” You hissed, quietly, as you stared at yourself.

“Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.” You repeated as you kicked the cabinet underneath the sink. You closed your eyes, running your hands through your hair. You kept out a quick breath, as you rested your hands on the bench.

You leaned in closer to the mirror as you stared into your eyes.

“You got this,” you spoke with resolution. “You’re going to go back in there and act like everything is normal.”

You took in your messed up hair and fixed it into place. You corrected yourself and checked in the mirror. You bit your lip as you gawked at the neckline of your t-shirt in contemplation.

“Fucks sake,” you muttered under your breath, tugging it down to reveal your bra strap. You check your hair once again, sighing deeply to calm yourself.

“Alright, let’s do this.” You walked out the door and into your dimly lit room.

You found your friend sitting on the bed where you had left him. He looked up from his phone, his lips quirking up as he rose his eyebrows, “Have a good piss?”

“Yup, I had been holding it the whole movie,” you replied, as you strolled over to the bed.

Maybe that was why Im Jaebum did not want to fuck you. You talked without a filter and had a grand total of freaking zero charm and wit that other girls had. For some reason when you hung out with Jaebum, you liked to talk and behave like a guy with a dick, instead of a girl who wanted to jump his bones.

You were the goddess of seduction, taking about holding in your piss. Who in their right mind would not want to bury their cock inside a pussy that had been holding its pee for a whole movie.

“We could’ve paused the movie,” Jaebum tsked, getting up to sit straight. The laptop slipped from his lap and onto the bed.

You paused and spun on your heels as you began walking towards the mini-fridge in your room. It wasn’t that you were rich. You had saved up to get this mini prize keeper, so the thieves you lived with didn’t steal your treasure.

“A drink, Jae?” You asked as you bent to open the fridge and grab a bottle for yourself.

“Yeah, why not,” he answered, and you grabbed his favourite. You turned, holding it up and he chuckled before staring at you with a smirk, “You have a problem, y/n.”

“What do you mean?” You frowned, skipping over before jumping onto the bed. You didn’t have a bed frame. You weren’t sure if it was because you were poor or if you liked the low-key fashionable homeless aesthetic.

Jaebum took the drink from you, sipping it as he stared at you over the bottle.

“It is a Wednesday night,” he smiled at you, those ridiculously cute little bumps appearing on his cheekbones as he teased, “and you’re drinking.”

“So? are you too,” You scowled.

“Yes, but that’s cause you offered.”

“Yeah, how is that any different?” Your frown deepened as you took a big gulp. You reached for the laptop bringing it onto your lap. You opened a new tab, “Lesbian or gay porn?”

“Y/n,” Jaebum warned. His voice light, a little stern.

You peeped over at him with a teasing smile. You rose an eyebrow holding back your growing grin, “Gang bang then?”

His eyes widened, with a warning.

“With animal suits on?” You gasped, beaming at him as he shook his head. “Now wouldn’t you say that’s a little too furry for a Wednesday night?”

“Shut up,” he closed the laptop, making you turn towards him. You rolled your eyes as you bought the bottle to your lips, chugging it.

“Hey, come on,” he took the bottle off you.

“Hey!” You whined, watching as he placed both your bottles on the floor behind him. He took your hands in his warm hands, and you felt an entire zoo go wild in your stomach.

How could he not realise what he does to you?

“Y/n, listen to me,” Jaebum sighed heavily. You studied his face and instantly looked away. He was terribly gorgeous, so attractive that it should be illegal.

And the way he was looking at you... How could he possibly say nothing could ever happen between you when he looks at you like that.

No one ever looked at anyone like that, not unless they wanted to fuck. Im Jaebum looked at you, properly, truly looked at you. He was looking at you with the presence of his mind, not just staring at you while his mind was elsewhere.

He was watching you, studying you.

You didn’t know if friends did that, especially ones you met a few years ago. It wasn’t just you who felt this energy between you. Everyone else watches the two of you too. Always monitoring for a change between the two of you, a classic would they- won’t they.

There were times when you were so close. There were times when you and him were a second away from finally getting rid of this stressful sexual tension between the two of you.

You glanced away from his eyes. You wouldn't be able to help yourself if you kept looking into those melting brown eyes, and those delicate lips.

You would end up kissing him and whose fault would that be? You would have no choice but to blame him and those beautiful brown eyes.

Jaebum tugged at your hand, making you look up at him. You sulked at him, letting him know you didn’t enjoy this. His eyes watched you, even in the dim fairy lights of your room, you could make out the golden streaks in them as if you had memorised the patterns they made.

You probably did. You were always looking into them, or thinking about them.

About him.

You gulped as his eyes darted down towards your lips for a split second.

“Y/n,” he spoke, his voice soft and serious.

“Jaebum,” you sang, trying to be clever when truly you were scared he’ll realise how sweaty your palms were getting.

“I can’t look after you forever.”

You nodded, snorting, “I don’t need you on my ass all day too, Jae.”

“I’m serious.”

“So am I,” you replied, holding his hand now. “I am a grown woman. I have a job and a degree and everything. The sixteen-year-old me would be crying if she saw me right now.”

“She’d be proud to see you live without a bed frame?” He rose an eyebrow.

“It’s a lifestyle choice.” You deadpanned, he bit his lip to hold back that betraying smirk.

“Alright, fine,” he sighed, he gazed down at you. His hands holding yours again, once again, he was holding power in the conversation. “You know we can’t always be like this, right?”

“Yeah, but that’s not happening anytime soon,” you snorted, you tried smiling but you couldn’t. Your smile weakened when you saw that look flash in his eyes.

Pity, it was fucking pity.

“Actually,” he started, and you wanted to stop him. You wanted to send him away before he began. “Emma and I have been getting serious now.”

“Hook up Emma?”

They had been hooking up for a few months now. It was causal, she was just the new flavour of the season. Or at least that’s what she was meant to be, but then she started showing up everywhere.

You open Jaebum’s car door to sit shotgun, she is sitting there. You go to Joanna’s for the weekly Friday nights, Emma is there. You make a plan to go hiking over the weekend, surprise, Emma has made herself available.

You wouldn’t have minded if she was nice, but she was an actual bitch. You saw the way she looked at you. You could see straight through the expression on her face as she kissed Jaebum, making sure you were watching.

His phone dinged beside him, and you could bet your firstborn it was her. You felt happy when Jaebum didn't reach for it instantly.

“She isn’t just a hookup,” Jaebum told you, his eyes holding yours. You felt your heart drop at his words. It hurt to see him so protective over someone else, so much that he spoke to you like that.

Jaebum never told you anything. He would tell you stuff, joke, talk, but he never told you something. He never corrected you off so seriously, not unless it was something important.

Seems like Emma unlocked a new level.

“Alright,” you replied soulless, as you took your hand out from his grasp. You pressed the nail of your middle finger into your thumb-pad to stop the prickling in your eyes. “Don’t get your panties in a twist.”

You both sat quietly for a few more seconds before you reached over him. You felt your chests press against his arm as you grabbed your bottle from his other side. You could’ve moved away, but you didn’t want to.

You felt his breath catch before he held it, exhaling it out softly. You felt its warmth brush against your neck, you wanted to feel it all over your body.

You straightened, downing the whole bottle as you held his gaze.

Jaebum gulped visibly before casting his eyes away. He reached for his own bottle taking a big swig, his eyes not looking at you.

“We’re together, y/n.”

You laughed.

“I’m sorry?” you chuckled, staring at him as if he was losing his marbles. She would eat him up alive, and then vomit it out and make him eat himself up. She would ruin him.

“Emma and I are in a relationship. She’s my girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend?” You laughed, your mind blanking. Your heart speeding up frantically as your body went into overdrive.

Stupid. This whole thing was stupid.

A fucking stupid shit show.

“What are you in fifth grade? Girlfriend?” You snickered at him. Jaebum only stared at you a frown on his face.

“Stop laughing at me.”

“I’m not laughing at you,” you tried to make it better but you couldn’t.

You were laughing at yourself. At how fucking stupid you were, at how you were having a literal mental breakdown right now.

“No, actually I am laughing at you.” You shrugged.

“Fuck you,” he groaned, staring at you with loathing.

“Oh, come on,” you hit his arm, playfully. You didn’t know what you were doing. You had absolutely no fucking idea what to do. What is one to do when their crush is going out with the spawn of the devil, and not even the hot kinda devil.

“No, fuck you, y/n,” he grunted, annoyed, as he watched you who was failing to stop laughing. You weren’t laughing because you wanted to, your body just didn’t know what else to do.

“I’m not laughing at you. I just don’t know how to process this.”

“There isn’t anything for you to process,” Jaebum grumbled, lifting his arms in confused defeat. “Just accept.”

“You don’t need any approval of mine, Jae,” you rolled your eyes as you got off the bed and walked towards the mini-fridge. You needed another drink, another lot more drinks. “You are just informing me, and you have. You know I don’t like her vibes.”

“Oh, stop with your witchy voodoo crap,” he groaned, and you could recognise him roll his eyes. You turned to ask him if he wanted another drink, he just shook his head.

“It’s not voodoo, I don’t chant any spells. Her energy is just off.”

“She’s great-”

“-at sucking dick.”

“Y/n,” he warned.

“Fine,” you gave in. Your phone dinged, and you reached over, smiling at the glowing screen.

Dickdown 9/10: You up?

Perfect.

“Are you staying?” You asked Jaebum, inspecting up when he didn’t reply.

You found him staring at you, and you rose an eyebrow, “What?”

“Who’s that?” He narrowed his eyes.

“It’s none of your business,” you smirked. You needed to fuck Im Jaebum out of your system. There was no way you were going to spend tonight sober, and drinking alone would be worse.

And spending the night with Jaebum would be just sad mostly.

“Are you kicking me out?” He smirked at you, teasing.

“Well, Emma isn’t here to kick me out, so...” you trailed off.

“Alright, fine,” he got grabbing his jacket. You watched as he put it on, before running his hands through his hair.

“Bye, Jae,” you whispered.

Jaebum looked down at you, his eyes soft as he sighed, “I wish you weren’t so much trouble, y/n.”

You didn't say anything and only smiled up at him.

“Goodbye, y/n,” Jaebum leaned down, kissing your forehead.

You watched him walk out of your room, the door closing behind him.

You let out a shaky breath as you wiped the tears that slipped from your eyes.

“Fucking hell,” you muttered before downing the second bottle.

You reached for your phone.

Get here in 15 mins.

Dickdown 9/10: Five ;)

[variousqueerthings]

Tory Nichols Is Not Okay (and other predictable book-titles)

I’ve been trying to figure out some things around Tory that make me very protective of her as a character + hopeful for more in-depth writing of her character in upcoming seasons.

1. within the story she differs from literally every other main in that she’s the single character without a support network to fall back on. Even Robby, who’s having A Tough Fucking Time, could theoretically have a moment where he figures out that Kreese (and probably Silver once he’s in the picture) is the fucking worst and Daniel, Johnny, Shannon, and Amanda would want him to come back, hell I imagine that next season will have Daniel and Johnny thinking a lot about how exactly to convince Robby to give them a second chance - as of end season 3, Tory hasn’t got anyone fighting in her corner at all.

This isn’t in the sense of characters competing about trauma or who-has-it-worse or who’s more likely to become a villain or anything. It’s just something interesting I’ve noted, because there’s never been a character like her in the movies or the show, one who is going through stuff quite as bad as what she’s being presented as going through: No support, no money, no friends.

2. I find it interesting that she doesn’t (at the moment) have any direct connection to either Daniel or Johnny - the two cores of the show. Sure she was Johnny’s student for a hot second, but I don’t think they had a single meaningful interaction.

She interacted with Aisha first, which - when they wrote Aisha off the show (actually probably the thing I most disagree with in this story, because it left several question marks hanging in the air) - meant that the first grounding element she had in the story was lost.

Then she interacted with Sam and I think the core of their rivalry - that Sam represents everything Tory can’t have VS the complicated mix of privilege (which I’m hoping will be brought up) + the way Cobra Kai took her best friend and boyfriend from her + everything she’s internalised from Daniel - is really really cool and some of Tory’s strongest moments come from that, because the two play off each other so well and this show is all foils and nemeses. Hopefully the show won’t try to simplify this into “boyfriend troubles.”

Then there’s Miguel Which, obviously there’s some complicated stuff going on there, but in the end, beyond jilted lovers, I personally find her actual relationships with Aisha and Sam more interesting, although the general sense of “oh great, betrayed again, why did I think anything different would happen” + at the same time getting an insight into something inherently self-destructive, (in that she deliberately went for a guy she knew wasn’t over his ex) has some good elements to it.

(there’s Hawk as well, but that’s more casual-trauma-friendship-with-a-dose-of-egging-each-other-on, the two of them aren’t really close).

And lastly there’s Kreese. Who is. The only person who knows what she’s going through. We have one episode with a couple of scenes + a handful of comments that indicate where she’s at and where she’s at is not good. 

3. Tory is maybe a tough sell right off the bat, because of several factors: she’s mainly angry and violent, she’s (as stated above) not emotionally connected to the two leads and her only other relationships right now are antagonistic or written off the show or... Kreese. Robby is going to be there in season 4 which’ll offer some nice opportunities, but for the moment they’re pretty much strangers.

She was introduced later than anyone else we’ve got right now (characters from the movies notwithstanding, but we do already know those + they are connected to Daniel) and her first meaningful interaction was with Aisha, who, I will reiterate, I feel should not have been written off the darn show, but I digress. There was some really interesting interaction going on between her and Aisha and failing to make good on that kind of meant that there was a sense of floatiness to Tory’s first introduction - suddenly this relationship doesn’t matter, oh okay I guess? Reboot. 

That being said I think she’s a very bold addition to the show and I’m curious about where the story will go with Tory next, since imo her first two seasons were about building her character to a point where she could become an Antagonist with some hidden depths. 

I’m expecting based on the first three seasons of the show that those depths will be revisited and respected.

4. I think I’m hoping for Sam to realise what’s going on there, for Sam to try and help, for Sam to realise that, actually, Tory’s problems extend faaaar beyond her and she was more like the straw that broke the camel’s back. I’d like this as well because while it might’ve been a weakness before that Tory wasn’t connected to Daniel or Johnny, now that can become a strength - the story can really start to move beyond them and into the ways that the younger characters interact with each other in a more forgiving + healing + understanding way (using their lessons, which... might? become more unified now? perchance? since they’re on the same side for the first time in... ever?)

I’d like for another adult to get involved there, but I’d absolutely love it if the first steps came from Sam and Tory, rather than Daniel or Johnny or any other adult noticing this kid needs some help. It’d be sad and hopeful all at once for them to have the realisation that sometimes kids just fall through the cracks, but then Tory can be supported by her peers first and foremost.

I wouldn’t necessarily say this needs to happen in season 4, but the sympathy extended to characters like Hawk, Robby, Johnny, Daniel, etc. in the writing needs to be extended to her as well. And for that to happen she needs to connect with someone other than Kreese.

Also, of course, Tory and Robby are going to be Sadness Bros next season, pretty sure they have horror stories to tell each other while they bond - I’m hoping this doesn’t become a romantic relationship, but it’s a show that likes its romantic relationships, so we’ll see. Fingers crossed. (also if Tory should be dating anyone it’s Aisha, right????) Point is, that’ll obviously give her more grounding with another main that isn’t I’M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!

I think this is where the initial elements of those aforementioned depths can be explored more thoroughly. Robby wouldn’t just be willing to listen - he’d be the first character to really Get It. He’ll probably be the first person to understand her and so the first protagonist we’ll get to really relate to her through (again, to me Miguel doesn’t count, he didn’t know her at all). 

Anyway I want for Sam and Tory to become the ultimate remixed version of Daniel and Johnny, in that they fully cannot stand each other for X amount of the runtime, only to find common ground at the last moment and perchance do some gay, friendly karate matching. 

(Also Tory’s bi, right? Yeah, Tory’s bi. I see your flannel!)

Tory has the potential to be a great slow-burn character, so I’m excited!

[casper-writes-stuff]

A Deal Part Two

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22343371/chapters/53442415

Summary: Virgil and Deceit have a much needed conversation about their feelings.

I originally wanted to get this part done yesterday, but that didn't end up happening. That's okay though because my self imposed break the first night helped give me actual ideas to be able to finish and Gosh guys this is so soft.

Enjoy!

Virgil wondered when being domestic with a circle king became his life. He’d ask Logan, but he knew his best friend would take the question literally and answer “six months ago, Virgil. Is your memory failing?” and Virgil would have to make fun of him for being a nerd about time.

And Virgil didn’t really want to move from his position on his bed, because Dee was curled around him, head on his chest, and just sleeping and Virgil would rather die than wake up that peaceful expression.

This, of course, left Virgil to think heavily about the fact that Dee was his boyfriend and had tried to tell Virgil if he wanted to break-up he would be able to without becoming a sentient doll about a week ago and all Virgil had done was kiss his cheek and acted as if he hadn’t heard him.

Which… was probably an issue considering Dee got this really pained expression whenever Virgil was affectionate. It was like he hadn’t once considered that Virgil had kinda maybe fallen hard for him, just that Virgil thought he was only in this relationship to avoid repercussions.

Virgil sighed, running his fingers of the hand not currently wrapped around Dee through his hair. Fuck, he’d really gotten himself into a mess, hadn’t he? Seriously, how many people could say they’d fallen in love with a circle king who apparently loved them back and would do quite literally anything for them? Just him, probably.

“I can hear you thinking, Vee,” Dee muttered into Virgil’s chest, making Virgil huff out a laugh as he lightly patted the demon’s back.

“How did you get any sleep, if you can hear me think?”

“I didn’t, I’ve been awake this whole time.”

Virgil snorted this time, an affectionate smile growing on his lips.

“Right, and that snoring you were doing was totally fake.”

Dee picked up his head to glare at Virgil with tired eyes, though the sleepy grin on his face betrayed how he really felt about Virgil’s teasing.

“You’re cute,” Virgil muttered, pushing to leave a small kiss on Dee’s nose.

The surprised wonder on his face when Virgil pulled back had his heart melting in his chest. Gods above, how a demon could be that absolutely adorable, Virgil had no idea.

“Usually,” Dee started slowly, apprehensive of what he was about to say, “when a human sees a circle king, their first adjectives aren’t ‘cute’.”

Humming, Virgil watched Dee for a second, noting all the little twitches of his expression.

“Yeah, but most humans don’t get six months of being domestic with one, or the opportunity to fall in love with one, or to see when he bleps his stupid cute snake tongue when he pouts at me because I won’t give in to cuddle time right away.”

With each word Dee’s face got redder, and Virgil definitely heard his breath catch when he said fall in love.

“You… You love me?” Dee asked, sounding hopeful but also… scared. Like Virgil would lie about feeling that strongly about someone.

Virgil raised an eyebrow, shifting to sit up. Dee followed his lead, blinking in bewilderment at him.

“Yeah, Dee, I’d say I’ve fallen pretty hard. You think I’d kiss just anyone on the mouth?”

“You haven’t-”

Dee didn’t get the chance to continue, because in the next second Virgil had cupped his hands under his boyfriend’s jaw and pulled him close to press their lips together in a soft kiss.

One moment, Deceit was stiff and unresponsive and the next he went limp in Virgil’s arms, pushing himself closer as he returned the kiss.

When Virgil pulled back, Dee let out a whine. He grinned at the demon in front of him, just watching the bright flush decorating his features and the way the scales on his face sparkled prettily in the light.

“Ya know,” Virgil started, voice soft and adoring, “I do have one question about our whole relationship.”

Dee opened his eyes then, blinking owlishly up at him.

“What’s that?”

Virgil took a moment to respond, just admiring his boyfriend’s expression. Finally he pressed a kiss to the other’s scales before he finally answered.

“Why were you so intent on dating me, when you first answered my summons?”

And suddenly Dee jerked out of Virgil’s grip, surprising him into dropping his hands as he stared at his boyfriend.

“Uh… you okay Dee?”

Deceit nodded, covering his face with his hands and breathing deeply.

“Yes I’m,” he cleared his throat, “I’m fine, the question just… wasn’t one I was expecting to come up.”

Virgil furrowed his brows in confusion.

“You didn’t expect me to be curious why you were so interested in dating me?”

“...Now that you’ve said it like that, I suppose that was a… miscalculation on my part.”

He snorted, holding his arms out in an invitation for Dee to nestle against him, which he did as soon as he’d moved his hands enough to see the action. Virgil grinned, wrapping his arms around Deceit’s waist and settling his chin on the other’s hair.

“So. Why did mister terrifying and powerful demon Deceit want to ‘court me’ as you put it forever ago.”

Dee huffed, leaning back against Virgil more as he considered.

“When I first saw you, I was… taken by your beauty,” he started, tapping his fingers against Virgil’s arm, “I almost didn’t start the act at first, because all I could think about was that this witch was the prettiest mortal I’d seen in centuries.”

Virgil was quiet, and if anyone asked about the blush on his face he’d jinx their underwear to their ass. Thank God no one was here to worry about.

“And then I could feel the fear and I was… disappointed but not surprised. I figured I could use that to my advantage. Which… now that I’ve reacquainted with human culture I feel horrible about forcing you into such a relationship, especially given your romantic orientation.”

There was a snort, and Dee smacked Virgil’s arm as he felt his boyfriend’s shoulders shake against his back.

“Sorry, sorry. I know, it’s something you’re embarrassed over, but considering you just told me you went all circle king on me because you were basically gay panicking is just… Dee that’s hilarious,” Virgil explained, a snicker escaping him as he talked.

Dee huffed, knowing he was pouting but Virgil wasn’t able to see his expression so he didn’t really care. Until Virgil pressed a kiss to his cheek and his face was back to flushing, his power glow pulsing the way it did when Virgil flustered him.

“Okay. Okay so you wanted a date because you thought I was pretty? How’d that work out for ya?” Virgil teased, hooking his chin over Deceit’s shoulder.

“Worked out pretty well, I think. Considering the same day you gave me a nickname, and then expressed enough trust in me to use my magic on you. And then you told me it felt like… like a snake sunbathing and I think… I think I fell in love with you right then.”

Virgil stilled, his little swaying movements that he had started without really thinking coming to an abrupt halt.

“...What?” he asked breathlessly, not realizing that Dee may take his wonder as something else.

“I… Yes. You just… You looked beautiful wrapped up in my magic, and you were enjoying it, I thought that was amazing. It was amazing that my magic, something I’ve used so often to hurt people could cause someone so stunning such absolute joy.”

Dee listened to Virgil breathe behind him for a moment, frowning in concern when he didn’t speak up after two minutes. He moved away from Virgil so he could turn and look at him, and the expression he saw on the human’s face made his eyes widen.

It was so adoring Dee’s chest ached, but before he could speak up, Virgil had leaned forward to kiss him again.

This kiss, unlike the last one, stole Dee’s breath away. Sure, the last one had him melting into Virgil’s hold but this one Dee could feel how much Virgil loved him and it was the best thing he’d ever experienced.

When Virgil pulled away this time, Dee didn’t even have the presence of mind to whine. He just exhaled softly against his boyfriend’s face, not opening his eyes as he enjoyed the feeling of Virgil’s hands on his skin.

“I love you,” Virgil breathed softly, and as cheesy as it was, the words made a slow, soft grin spread on Deceit’s face.

“I love you, too.”

Virgil’s thumb stroked over Dee’s face, and he couldn’t resist the urge to press their foreheads together as he took in his boyfriend’s content and love-struck expression.

Not for the first time since he realized he was in love Virgil thought he was really glad he botched that summons.

And then he kissed Dee again and all thoughts were gone.

[mediocre-riverdale]

WHY FINN HUDSON WAS THE WORST

#1. Cheating

Finn cheats on Quinn twice with Rachel, which evens out when Quinn also cheats, but no one ever mentions Finn cheating again. So, Finn gets cheated on by Quinn and Rachel, and both times he says how much it hurts and has an outburst. Despite now knowing the pain it causes, he encourages Quinn to cheat on Sam multiple times until she finally does it. He then continues to mock Sam, smirking at Sam and saying ‘I didn’t kiss your girlfriend’ in a teasing tone that implies to everyone that he did. Sam has done absolutely nothing to Finn except be nice and Finn shows no remorse at all for wrecking a relationship, even though he’s been cheated on twice. Again, no one calls him out on this besides Sam.

#2. How He Treats Rachel

Finn knows that Rachel has a crush on him because Rachel is very obvious about it. Despite the fact that he has a pregnant girlfriend at the time, he manipulates Rachel’s emotions and asks her out on a date with the intention to get her back in the Glee Club and not actually date her. He even kisses her (twice). So, after Quinn and Finn break up, Rachel assumes that her and Finn will date (since by this point they’ve kissed twice and been out on a date). Finn goes ahead and tells her he doesn’t actually want to be her boyfriend, which is fine because even though he led her on at least he’s honest.

He goes to hook up with hotter girls and when that doesn’t work out he goes back to Rachel, who now has Jesse. Rachel tells Finn that she’s moved on, which she has a right to do since Finn dumped her. Finn’s response? He’s not taking no for an answer and will not respect Rachel/Jesse’s relationship even though he had his chance. He goes on to betray Rachel’s trust and expose Rachel/Jesse’s relationship to everyone, taunt Jesse multiple times, and not back down. After Rachel tells him no again, he even sings Jessie’s Girl to her in front of multiple people and circles her while Rachel sits there uncomfortably.

After Finn leaves Rachel to go to the army comes back (after backpacking around for months without saying a word to anyone), he’s angry that Rachel moved on after he told her to do just that. He complains and is shown to be jealous of Rachel’s success. Once he finds out Rachel did kiss Brody, he runs off like a child to Lima, again without saying anything to Rachel. This forces Rachel to abandon her life in NYC for at least a whole day just to come find his pouty ass.

While Rachel maturely explains why they can’t be together anyone, Finn pathetically complains about how he now has no one in the world and how things will never be good again.

#3. How Finn Treats Other Males

I’ve already mentioned how he belittled Sam (also: when the Sam did the Justin Bieber experience, Finn claimed it was stupid and then after finding out he could get Quinn to cheat using a Bieber song, he stole Sam’s idea) and Jesse, and encouraged their girlfriends to sleep with him. So, let’s move on to Blaine. Blaine is a nice guy who joins the New Directions with the intention of helping them and finding love with Kurt. Finn, noticing Blaine’s talent, insults him multiple times and tries to make him feel as if he’s not part of the team.

Moving onto Kurt. Kurt is his friend and step-brother, yet he doesn’t really treat Kurt well. He indirectly calls him a fag, tells him to tone it down with the gay stuff, doesn’t stand up for him multiple times in fear of losing his high school popularity, and is shown to be uncomfortable in a lot of normal situations with Kurt. There’s an episode where Rachel asks Finn to stand up for Kurt and Finn blatantly says he can’t do it because of his reputation. In the end, all of this is resolved by him dancing with Kurt at a wedding (where the only people attending are the Glee clubbers and family members, all of which are already accepting), which does absolutely nothing to stop the fact that Kurt is being terrorized by Karofsky.

#4. Finn Is A Hypocrite

We’ve already covered the whole cheating thing where he constantly complains about being cheated on but encourages cheating himself. Let’s talk about how he berates Rachel for not giving up the spotlight or allowing talented people to join (Sunshine), but then is threatened and mean whenever any other talented male comes in. If Rachel insults someone or tries to steal a solo she’s a horrible, annoying diva. If Finn insults another nice male with more talent than him, Finn is an insecure teen who needs to be coddled and propped up by everyone.

In season one, Finn is creeped out by Kurt’s persistent crush on him. He says something along the lines of ‘if I did that to a girl, she would take out a restraining order’. But he does do stuff like that to girls. Again, Rachel says that she is dating Jesse and he needs to respect that and Finn continues to pursue her. Quinn says that she is dating Sam and doesn’t want to cheat, but Finn won’t take no for an answer and goes on anyways.

#5. Finn’s Prejudice

I’ve already mentioned how he screamed faggy at Kurt multiple times, but let’s look more into that. When Sam comes and wants to sing a duet with Kurt, Finn immediately finds Sam to say that he can’t do a duet with another guy. Sam says that he already promised and will be doing it, but Finn argues against it and later goes to tell Kurt that he shouldn’t sing with Sam. Poor Kurt is guilted into singing alone.

Finn later calls Sue’s baby a retard, even though he knows multiple people with Down syndrome and obviously knows that word is an insult. He says this when he is an adult, not a dumb teenager.

#6. Finn’s Reputation

Everyone constantly talks about how Finn was ever so brave for being nice to the Glee Club and joining them. No one mentions how Quinn, Santana, Brittany, Puck, Mike, and Matt also joined even though they were Cheerios/football players.

Finn cares about his reputation more than anyone else. At first, he won’t admit he likes Rachel because she’s a loser. He won’t pose in the Glee photo after promising Rachel he would. He won’t stand up for Kurt. In the episode where all of the football players have to choose between football and Glee, he is the only one not to show up. He basically tells Kurt to ‘tone down the gay’ multiple times. In another episode, he goes to throw a slushie in Kurt’s face because he needs to keep his popularity.

#7. Finn Compared to Others

Now, you might be saying ‘oh, but Santana, Quinn, and Rachel did bad stuff too’.

Okay, let’s talk about Santana first. Yes, Santana insults people all of the time and is a bitch. She also gets called out on it multiple times (while basically no one ever calls Finn out on anything), and she stands up for multiple glee members. Santana tapes a recorder to her under boob to get Sebastian in trouble after hurting Blaine, threatens Karofsky in the halls when he threatens to beat up Kurt/Blaine, creates the Bullywhips to protect Kurt, blackmails Karofsky so Kurt can come back to school, and threatens Brody with a Paula Abdul song after she finds out he’s shady.

Rachel is annoying yes, but everyone never forgets to tell her this. She constantly stands up for herself and others in the club. She’s the one that comes up with the idea for the guys to threaten Karofsky. She’s the one who offers everyone singing lessons, is down to do anything to help the club, and helps Kurt multiple times with songs/auditions. She’s nice to Quinn about the pregnancy, even though both of them know Quinn would have tortured her if the roles were reversed.

Now onto Quinn. I think Quinn is kind of a bad person, but again, people tell her this to her face. No one ever really tells Finn when he’s done something wrong, they just continue to praise him over basic human decency. Multiple people have told Quinn how horrible she is, and somehow acknowledging that she’s a bitch makes it less annoying to see because we know that something will be said/happen to her. For Finn, consequences don’t exist.

#8. Santana’s Outing

Okay, I’ve seen some people say that Santana was a bitch who deserved to be outed (no one deserves that) and that Finn wasn’t trying to tell everyone, just a couple people. So, we’ll disregard that he outed her in a high school hallway in a school that was openly homophobic.

After the outing, Santana slaps Finn and later Finn uses that as blackmail to get her back into the Glee Club for a week, saying it’s either that or no competition. Lady Music Week is humiliating. It consists of everyone singing a song while making deep eye contact with Santana while she sits there uncomfortably. Santana says multiple times that she doesn’t like the idea and doesn’t want attention on her, but of course Finn doesn’t listen because he can’t take no for an answer.

Finn sings Girls Just Want to Have Fun and everyone immediately disregards the fact that he said Santana’s biggest secret in front of multiple people.

#9. No One Blames Finn For Anything

Like I’ve said above, Finn cheats, isn’t there for his friends, insults people, has jealous rage, outs Santana, and cares about his reputation over everything, and yet no one says a word to him about this. No one goes ‘hey Finn, you’re acting like an ass’.

Finn is praised the entire show for being ‘the best guy in the world’. There’s a scene where Artie thanks Finn for being his friend and basically says that it was a sacrifice for Finn to step down from his popularity for a bit to slum it with the Glee Club. Again, Quinn, Santana, Brittany, Mike, Puck, Sam, and Matt all joined even though they could’ve been popular. They receive no praise.

#10. Finn Is A Lazy Complainer

Finn spends most of high school not studying and playing video games. He’s also on the football team, but doesn’t really commit to football that much. He’s a mediocre high school student.

When college applications time comes around, Finn has the audacity to be shocked by the fact that he doesn’t get a football or theater scholarship. He spends all of season three complaining about how he’ll never get out of Lima, even though all we’ve seen from him is him plotting how to sleep with girls, whining about his reputation, and occasionally doing a decent thing. We never really see him work hard at anything.

He just complains constantly about everything and when Mr. Schue, Rachel, and Emma try to help him by giving him college pamphlets, he doesn’t even read them. He throws them out in the trash as soon as possible and then later goes on a rant about how he won’t be young forever, as if he never thought or learned about aging.

Then, in college, he’s shown to be a slacker who parties all day, drinks, and makes grilled cheeses. He even lies and manipulates college girls into taking off their tops, so hey, maybe he’s moved up a little in the world. Anyways, Puck has to come and tell him it isn’t cool to skip your classes.

Basically, Finn complained, finally got into a college, and then just slacked off again without learning anything

[king-finnigan]

For the mash up prompts: 55, Established Relationship and 69, Flirting Under Fire. Geraskier is my OTP, but I also feel like it'd be fun with any Witcher/Witcher pairing 😍

Sorry for the late answer, dear! I’m a bit busy with school right now, so anyone who’s still waiting for a reply, please bear with me! I will get to it eventually.

Also I did make this Geraskier, because I haven’t read the books or played the games, so I’m not entirely comfortable writing the other Witchers as major characters 😅

***

Of three things Jaskier is absolutely certain.

1. He regrets each and every action that has lead up to now, to the situation he has suddenly found himself in.

2. There are two pairs of eyes trained on him and Geralt, as they sit at the bar, one friendly, one hostile. Or both friendly. Or both hostile. He’s not sure of things like that anymore.

3. He loves Geralt. He really does. But his boyfriend might be the worst undercover cop he’s ever seen in his entire goddamn life.

As the son of the patriarch of the Pankratz family, he’s seen a lot of undercover cops - some better than others, yet no matter how good, all of them were found out by his dad, and got executed and dumped into the ocean. But none of them have been as bad as Geralt.

He really does wonder how the hell his boyfriend managed to get hired by the FBI, as Geralt looks at him, unease evident on his face - even though he’s supposed to seduce Jaskier - and says: “I- I like your... eyes. They’re... very blue.” 

Jaskier swallows thickly, hand tightening around the pint in front of him, as he fights the overwhelming urge to slam his head into the bar. He can feel his dad’s eyes boring into his back, and remembers the conversation they had earlier that day, when he pulled Jaskier aside, telling him he’s a hundred percent sure that their latest acquisition is an undercover cop - because of course he immediately knew Geralt wasn’t a criminal, big shocker - and that Jaskier needs to get close to him, find out what the Feds know about their operations and criminal activity.

He sighs, softly, trying to save Geralt’s awkward flirting, by shooting him a quick wink, putting on his most charming smile. “Thanks. My eyes are pretty special, though, they’re only blue when I’m looking at hot people.”

Geralt stammers, frowning a bit, mouth opening and closing like a fish on dry land, and Jaskier has to fight not to smack his forehead.

“But...” Geralt eventually replies “they’re always blue, no matter who you’re looking at.”

Now Jaskier has to fight the urge not to smack Geralt. He shoots a quick look over his shoulder, seeing his dad still staring at him. He turns back to his boyfriend who is actually not supposed to be his boyfriend at all. “Geralt, work with me goddammit. We’re supposed to seduce each other and it’s not gonna be believable if you say stupid shit like that,” he hisses.

“Sorry, I’m not good at this,” Geralt whispers back.

“Fucking clearly!”

He shoots a look over his other shoulder, meeting the other pair of eyes that keeps staring at them. Geralt’s colleague, another undercover cop. She’s been in the family a while, and his dad only keeps her around to feed her false information about their activities, to put the Feds on wild goose chases for drug or weapon deals that are never gonna happen.

Though, he knows that she’s aware that the information they’ve been feeding her is false, by now. That’s why the Feds sent Geralt - to seduce Jaskier, the brazen, gay wildchild of the Pankratz patriarch, and maybe get correct information about the family’s business. And she’s keeping an eye on them, to make sure Geralt does his job and doesn’t betray her or himself.

Little does she know Jaskier’s dad already knows Geralt’s a cop.

Because Geralt fucking sucks at being undercover.

He tries again. “Your eyes are lovely, though.” They’re one of the first things he noticed about Geralt when they first met, about a year ago, a few hours before they slept together for the first time. Neither of them had known about each other’s occupations at the time, and by the time they figured out that they were supposed to be mortal enemies, it had been too late - they had already fallen for each other.

“Thanks...” Geralt mutters, toying with his own pint “I... need them to see.”

Jaskier wonders how the fuck he ever managed to fall in love with this idiot.

But, then again, there hadn’t been any need for flirting, when they first met. They had instantly been attracted to each other, and talking just got in the way of kissing, really. And after that, Jaskier had fallen for Geralt because he always expressed his love through his actions, not his words.

So, really, deep down, he had already known Geralt would suck at flirting and would fail at ‘seducing’ Jaskier, especially with Jaskier’s dad and the other cop staring at them the whole time.

The question, really, is: how the fuck didn’t the FBI see this coming? Did they really think they could just put a hot man next to Jaskier, and he would immediately dive into bed with him and tell him all his family’s secrets?

Granted, that’s exactly what happened - a year ago, though. Not that the FBI knows. Not that they’ll ever know, hopefully.

He tries to summarize the situation for himself, as all these schemes and intrications have got his head spinning.

So, long story short: He is part of the mob, Geralt is a cop. They’ve been in a secret relationship for about a year now, and Jaskier’s dad expects him to seduce Geralt so they can find out what the Feds know, and the Feds expect Geralt to seduce Jaskier so they can get correct intel on the Pankratz’s activities.

Fucking marvellous.

He tries to have one more go at this ‘seduction’ thing, just to at least keep up appearances a little bit. “So, Ger-” he blinks, trying to remember his boyfriend’s undercover name “James. Is your hair white everywhere, or just on your head?” He leans his elbow on the bar, putting his chin in his hand, his index finger pulling his lower lip down slightly, looking up at Geralt through his lashes.

Just because his boyfriend sucks at flirting, doesn’t mean Jaskier can’t do it.

And, fortunately, it works. Geralt’s eyes flick down to Jaskier’s lips for a brief moment, as he shifts in his seat a bit, a blush creeping up his neck. “I- uh...”

Jaskier looks at him innocently, batting his eyelashes, exaggerating it so he’s sure his dad and the other undercover cop can see it. “I would love to find out.”

Geralt blinks again, leaning towards Jaskier. “You already know that, though.”

Jaskier sighs, once again resisting the urge to smash his head into the bar. “Geralt, I love you but you’re so fucking stupid. How the hell did you ever get hired by the FBI?” he hisses.

“I’m sorry, I’m just a bit stressed.”

“Yes, I can see that! The whole fucking bar can see that! This is never going to be believable if you keep acting like I’m holding you at gunpoint!”

“Oh, my bad, sorry I’m a bit nervous about this. It’s not as if your dad’s gonna execute me if he finds out I’m an undercover cop!” He sounds properly angry now, brows knitted together over furious amber eyes.

Jaskier scoffs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “He already fucking knows, Geralt. You’re literally the worst undercover cop I’ve ever seen and the FBI sends us, like, a dozen a year. He’s only keeping you alive if I can seduce you - or, at least” he waves his hand non-committally “if he thinks I’ve seduced you.”

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I didn’t want to worry you even more, you absolute idiot! You’re already acting like someone shoved a stick so far up your ass it’s triggering your gag reflex!”

“You of all people should know that I don’t have a gag reflex!”

Jaskier blinks, raising his finger at Geralt. “I know that, and I love you, but that wasn’t my point. My point was-” he lowers his hand, frowning. “What was my point?”

He looks up when he hears his dad’s voice next to him. “Everything alright here?”

Jaskier smiles, leaning away from Geralt until he’s sitting upright again. “Everything’s perfectly fine,” he shoots Geralt, who’s still glaring at him, a warning look. “Right, James?”

Geralt stares at him for another second, before leaning back as well, smiling at Jaskier’s dad so unconvincingly it makes Jaskier cringe. “Yeah, everything’s great.”

The patriarch looks between them for a split second. “Right.” He looks at Jaskier. “If anything’s the matter, tell me.” He looks at Geralt, though his words are still directed towards his son. “I’ll take care of it, then.”

“Nope! Everything’s perfectly fine. Nothing to worry about.”

Jaskier’s dad nods, and walks away. Geralt glares at him again. “And I thought you said I was a shitty actor!”

Jaskier grits his teeth together, standing up abruptly, taking Geralt’s arm, dragging his boyfriend/supposed-to-be-mortal-enemy to the back of the bar, into his dad’s office, slamming the door behind him. “Fucking stop looking at me like you’re going to kill me! You’re convincing no one that you’re seducing me!”

“Maybe that’s a good thing!” Geralt half-shouts. “Maybe if I can’t seduce you, they’ll pull me out of this operation and things can go back to normal!”

“No, they fucking can’t! Cause if I can’t seduce you, my dad’s gonna have your head because you’re the worst fucking undercover cop in the history of the FBI!”

“I could just leave! I could walk out of here and never show my face again! Problem solved!”

“No! He’ll just track you down and kill you anyways, you mud-for-brains idiot!”

“Then what do you suppose we do? You pretend you’ve seduced me and then what? We can’t fucking keep this up forever!”

Jaskier frowns, thinking for half a second. “Then you just out yourself as an undercover cop and say you’ve switched sides! There! End of discussion, problem solved!”

“But I won’t switch sides!”

“It doesn’t fucking matter whose side you’re on if you’re dead!”

“Fuck you!”

“Fuck me yourself, you coward!”

“I already am!”

Jaskier blinks. “Fair enough.” He laughs when Geralt leans against the wall and almost knocks a painting off its hook.

He stalks forward. “Gods, Geralt, you’re so fucking stupid.” He grabs his boyfriend by the back of his neck, pulling him closer, smashing their lips together.

Geralt groans in surprise, but immediately kisses him back, pulling Jaskier flush against his chest.

The door to the office opens, and Jaskier pulls back, meeting eyes with his dad, who’s standing in the doorway. 

“My apologies,” the patriarch says, “I didn’t realize you two were... busy.” He closes the door behind him.

“Right,” Jaskier mutters, as Geralt laughs softly. “Problem solved, I guess.”

[jokidden]

My long ass essay about the Old Guard Part 2

Where I left off: Guys can cry while saying I love you in a 1000000 words long poem they just thought up on the spot and then be kissed for it. The only people making fun of him and being mean is those ugly ass enemy guys.

Onto then to Joe and Nicky. Sappy husbands shooting heart eyes at each other, all the time. They are unashamedly in love. (Also, you know, gay. God, I could cry rivers). I don’t want to write about them an essay here so I try to be short. At the big shooting at the beginning, first thing Joe does when he comes to his senses is checking on Nicky. Van scene. First thing he does here too is to check up on Nicky, see if he is alright. When the goons try to stop him, he doesn’t snap at them, shouting to LET ME GO BASTARDS!! OR I WILL KILL ALL OF YOU!! Nah. He just asks them nicely to please let him see if he is alright, please I have to know. He is clearly worried even though he knows there is little chance that Nicky won’t wake up but that doesn’t stop him from choking on his worry. And when the bad guys meanly joke about haha what is he your boyfriend? That’s what gets Joe all riled up. Though he still doesn’t react violently, well maybe, if we count his love confession violently sappy and poetic. He loves this man and likes to show it. And Nicky is like aww what a dork I love you too and MOTHERFREAKING KISS. Like. What a fuck you to homophobic manchildren.

Nicky is just so kind and understanding it’s unreal. Likes to cook (I know it’s not a big thing but I personally love him for this). Makes freaking tea to the team like a grandma. Worries about Nile, about how alone and scared and confused she must be, he asks her about her nightmare when she wakes up screaming. He likes to take care of his loved ones and obviously shows affection even if not as much as Joe. He is more reserved, calm and quiet but Yeah, definitely not afraid of ~~~~emotions~~~~

In short: They’re such gentle creatures when they want to be and it’s glorious while on the other hand they kill and beat people without a blink and that’s such a paradox (it shouldn’t be. People can be complicated.). If no one noticed it so far, I’m in love.

BOOKER!!

The little bird is Vulnerable, like, all the time. It’s clear he is suffering, he hates immortality and tells his sob story to Neil basically crying. Almost cries when he is remembering his past, after betraying Andy because „We could finally die, Andy. Isn’t that what we wanted all this time? Don’t you see what I’m trying to do?”, when he learns Andy isn’t immortal anymore and at the end too, when he talks to Nile and says goodbye to Andy. I don’t want to touch too much on his suicidal tendencies but it sure isn’t a secret and that’s something movies never ever show. Like suicide is some kind of ultimate weakness which is Not Manly. Must be shocking that Crying isn’t something that takes away manliness. In fact, it is a strong and very brave thing to show vulnerability and cry.

Respect women juice drinking like it's a religion.

What I love about Copley is that he isn't a bad man. He wants to save lives, save humanity, stop suffering and he genuinly believes this is what he is doing. He is clearly awed at what he found out about the immortals. He quickly realises his mistake in trusting Merrick but it is too late and it kind of just... broke him a little. That these people will be tortured because of him. So he decides to set things right but gets talked out if it and just gives Nile his card. He doesn't asks for forgiveness. To let him make up the wrong he made. No, he knows what he did, and now he is at the mercy of the Old Guard.

The bad guys on the other hand. Merrick, the evil CEO. And he isn’t some kind of hot shot smart guy, the villain you love to hate, he is just a little meek nobody who can’t even throw a rock far away enough and would still hurt his hand. Clutching that axe like it will give him some otherworldly strength instead of being heavy enough that he won’t be able to actually swing it. He can’t fight so he has a full team of guys armed to the teeth to do it for him, he isn’t smart enough to do his own research. Has zero sad backstory, a clue about why he is doing all this. Maybe he is just, I don’t know, a little dick who wants money and power. He also dies. Good riddance.

That Keane guy was obviously more muscle than brain, his only purpose was to do as he was told because, let’s be honest, he was nothing more than a lap dog with an ugly bite. Thankfully he died too, and in such a satisfying way, I had tears in my eyes. He got what he deserved for killing Nicky. No sympathy to bad guys.

So yeah. This is the end. If anyone actually read it, you’re a hero. I kinda lost my thought process at the end but uhm. Thanks for reading.

[redhoodieone]

It’s Cold in Here Part 6

A/N: Okay, so here is Part 6! I’m actually very excited to keep this series going if people love it and demand it. I don’t really have anything else to say except…enjoy it! 

Warnings: Smut, language, and threats.

One hand rubs up my stomach to my neck, where Jason chokes me lightly as the other hand aligns his thick cock to my wet pussy. Just feeling the head of his dick against my clit makes me moan and whimper for more friction and action.

“Ready doll?” Jason asks me; winking.

“I said to give me all you got, Jay,” I choke out from the tight hold on my throat.

Jason then pushes his cock inside me until he’s all the way in. Just feeling him inside me can almost make me cum, considering Jason hasn’t taken his eyes off me since he’s been in the room. One hand of his is on my hips as he holds me still, as the other holds my neck. As he thrusts in and out slowly, Jason slightly panics as he realizes what he’s doing.

“S-sorry. I didn’t realize I was doing that,” Jason apologizes, and is about to remove his hand from my neck until I shake my head at him in complete worry.

“No! Please don’t. I-I haven’t had rough sex in so long,” I plead, even though I’m struggling to speak clearly from his continuing thrusts and hot body above me, I want this more than anything.

“You like it rough, Y/N?”

“I bet I do,” I answer breathlessly. “I don’t really know.”

“Good, because if we’re going to be honest, I’ve always wanted to do this to you,” Jason confesses, as his thrusts quicken. Between my moans, wet slapping sounds between us, and his panting; I don’t think we’re going to last very long. “I’ve always-fuck imagine me fucking you so hard, fast, and deep, doll. All I want is you to beg me to make you cum. I-I want you to only want me.”

I throw my head back and grip the bedsheets in tight fists. The way Jason’s cock deliciously rubs against my walls makes me breathe harder and harder. It’s like his cock was meant to be inside me, as cheesy as that may sound. Jason lowers his face down and kisses my neck and chest, until he bites and sucks my nipples to make me be louder.

“Oh fuck...your pussy feels so good, Y/N. You’re so fucking tight and wet for me. You’re just so fucking good to me,” Jason says, panting in between thrusts. “You’re so fucking good, doll.”

I immediately realize Jason is expressing more compliments to me, as if he needs to hear something like that, too. The way he closes his eyes every few seconds, and the way his blue eyes stare into mine makes me wonder if he’s always doubting himself during sex.

The man seems like he has sex figured out and mastered well enough to be considered a Sex God.

But perhaps it’s just an act Jason puts on to make others believe he’s perfect, because all his life, he’s wanted and dreamed of being perfect; just like Dick Grayson.

But with the way Jason is fucking me, I don’t even have to pretend and put on a show that proves I’m enjoying myself. There’s no lies. There’s no secrets. Jason is making me feel so good that I couldn’t even critique him if I could.

And I sure as hell won’t.

I let go of the sheets with one hand. Slowly and carefully, I reach up to his face and rub his strong jawline. “You’re doing so good, Jay. You-you are fucking me the way I want to be fucked. Keep going, please.” I beg. “You’re so good!”

Jason smiles, and he continues to pound into me with every hard thrust. He suddenly moves down and kisses me. The second our lips touch, I instantly feel a spark has been lit between us. The sensation alone makes me feel like butterflies are inside my stomach; a feeling I haven’t felt in so long.

I open my mouth and Jason immediately seeks my tongue. The way we almost devour each other’s mouths makes me moan into the kiss, which makes me grip the back of his head, tugging his dark hair for more.

“Fuck,” Jason says, breaking the kiss to breathe as he continues to hold my neck, but sits up to flip me over onto my stomach. As Jason slams back into my pussy, he manages to raise my upper body up with just his hand wrapped around my neck; squeezing my throat enough to make me lightheaded but filled with pleasure from the roughness.

“Oh fuck...oh God...fuck me harder, Jay,” I whine.

Jason growls and fucks me as hard as he can; as his body keeps colliding into my ass. He softly whimpers, which surprises me for only a second because he then releases my neck and moves his hand down between my legs and begins to rub fast circles on my clit to get me to cum.

But with the way Jason is fucking me, hitting the right sensitive spot in my pussy, and with the fast-torturous rubs on my clit, I’m going to cum now.

“Cum for me right now, Y/N. Cum for me so I can see what I do to you,” Jason demands.

With one more thrust and rub, I feel myself clenching around Jason, as I gush all over his cock. The warmth that spreads throughout my body weakens me. This orgasm is stronger than I’ve ever imagined.

Perhaps I never experienced a real one before.

Jason breathes heavily as he fucks me through my orgasm. He kisses along my shoulders and spine, which surprises me a bit since I’ve never really experienced intimacy such as kissing and caressing before. With both hands, he grips my hips and slams himself into me one last time before he pulls out and cums under me onto the sheet.

I even hear Jason moan my name, along with other things I couldn’t clearly hear. He breathes deeply; continuing to groan and pant from his apparently strong orgasm.

I collapse onto the bed. Just trying to breathe normally is difficult, and the way my body feels like jello just proves I’m not going to be able to walk tomorrow.

“I’ll be right back,” Jason says softly, as he quickly gets up and runs to the bathroom. I am finally able to roll onto my back and lie down properly.

Jason returns with a wet washcloth, and hands it to me after hesitating if he should clean me or not. I thank him and take it; cleaning myself and my thighs from my arousal. Once I’m done, I toss it to the floor and climb under the covers to rest. I’m not sure what Jason will do, but I know I’m tired and it’s about midnight as I checked my phone on the nightstand.

But to my amazement, Jason walks over to the bed still naked (his glorious naked Sex God body) and slips into bed beside me. He shuts off the light next to him; despite the moonlight from the window glowing all around us. I end up turning on my side to sleep, as my arms embrace the pillow underneath my head, so I fall asleep quicker. And just when I think we’re done with each other; Jason moves closer behind me and eventually wraps his arms around me; hands securing around my stomach.

“Is this okay?” Jason whispers in my ear.

“Uh, yeah. It’s okay,” I answer, unable to keep the anxiousness from my voice.

Jason leans his head closer to mine. “Are you nervous?” he asks.

“N-no. I’m-I’m just...not used to this kind of thing.”

“You mean cuddling? Cuddling after sex and cuddling in bed is new to you?”

I bite my bottom lip. “Yeah.” I say clearly, hoping he can take the hint and drop the subject. Because after our fucking session, I don’t think I can talk about Dick.

Especially when I’ve had the most fun I’ve had in months.

Especially with someone who is not my boyfriend.

“How long have you known? About...everything?” I ask softly. My voice breaks at the end, despite trying to remain strong and unaffected by it all. He stays quiet for a bit, until he sighs.

“For a while,” Jason admits. He exhales deeply, and he holds me tighter. I can feel him breathing near me, and I suddenly find myself entranced by his scent of Old Spice deodorant and an expensive, wonderful cologne. “I wanted to tell you when I found out. I wanted to rat Dick out for his constant lies, secrets, and infidelity. I wanted to hurt him for hurting you...but I was forced to promise not to tell from Tim, Damian, and Alfred.”

“They all knew?” I choke out. A few tears fall from my eyes. “Does Bruce know?”

“No. Dick is afraid of telling Bruce, since Bruce grew up in a society of rich, privileged people who are close-minded and only expect greatness from people. The people Bruce associates with in-person tend to think homosexuality is wrong; immoral. We live in a society that believes gay or bisexual men is gross and beyond disgusting, while lesbians and bisexual women are more...attractive and hot. So, after Dick told us all this, he really fears Bruce will disown him because why would Bruce want a flaming son? I really don’t know why Dick is terrified of telling Bruce, but we all made a promise and will never tell Bruce until Dick does.”

My heart feels heavy with guilt. “I won’t tell Bruce either,” I admit. Jason sighs again, and kisses my forehead. “How did you all find out?”

“Alfred caught Dick and Wally fucking in the Batcave months ago. After a while, Alfred confronted Dick, and asked him what their sexual encounter meant, but Dick was obviously in denial about what he did. I guess he wanted to believe he was only into women and just slipped into casual sex from experimenting with Wally. The fucking idiot told me he was sick of the gay jokes from everyone, and always felt the need to defend himself all the time, but now he feels like he still needs to put on the straight act. I didn’t even think he took the jokes seriously, but I guess he did. He barely came out as bisexual two weeks ago, and was hoping to tell you soon,” Jason reveals, before he turns me around to face him. The moonlight from the window is bright enough for us to see each other’s faces. He wipes my tears. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, Y/N. It’s just...Dickhead’s my brother and I would hope if I were in trouble, he would help me, too. But please don’t tell anyone that because I have a tough-ass reputation to hold.”

Even though I feel betrayed, devastated, and confused, I find it comforting with Jason. The way the moonlight makes his blue eyes shine, I find warmth there. I chuckle at his remark and shake my head.

“Your secret’s safe with me, Jay. The thing I don’t understand is why Dick is obsessed and afraid of labels,” I say curiously.

“I don’t even know. Tim even tried telling him the straight label doesn’t necessarily exist anymore. Tim says as humans, we find ourselves attracted to both sexes, but find ourselves having sex with who we prefer. So, in a way, I guess I’m mostly straight. I don’t think I can ever have sex with a fucking guy,” Jason admits.

“So, you never fucked Roy, and he’s never fucked you?” I tease. Jason laughs before he playfully bites my bottom lip. “I’ve heard the outrageous stories from your Outlaw days.”

“We...experimented, alright? We jerked each other off and I even let him suck my dick. That’s all it took for me to realize I don’t have any sexual desires for guys or from guys. It’s normal, and it’s just curiosity,” Jason defends himself, before he squeezes my hips and I squeal.

“Okay, I understand. I don’t think that’s bad at all,” I say. If he’s confessing, maybe I can too. “I’ve done it, too. So, if what Tim is saying is true, I’m mostly straight, too.”

“Tell me more,” Jason pleads. His blue eyes beg, and I can tell he’s dying to know my past.

“Fine...” I playfully complain. I chuckle and look into his eyes. “I used to kiss my friends. We would sleep over at each other’s houses and we would talk about making out, masturbating, and sex. When I was younger, I always found it...annoyingly difficult to masturbate. It was like, always weird to touch myself because I felt like what I was doing was wrong. Yeah, I knew back then masturbating was normal and healthy, and whatever. But after talking to my friends about it, they told me it’s not bad at all and that I needed to just relax and keep trying. So, I asked one of my friends to show me how to touch myself when everyone else was asleep. So, we snuck out and went outside on the trampoline where no one was around or can hear and see us. So, she told me to lie down and relax. So, she kissed me and kissing her was always exciting to me because I’ve never had a real boyfriend before because guys suck at fourteen years old. So, she’s kissing me, and she shows me what I’ve been missing all this time.”

Jason begins to breathe heavily, and that’s when I notice he’s horny. Again. “Tell me what happened next, doll.”

“Fine, but after this I need sleep. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“She moves down, and she lifts my shirt up without saying anything. She rubs my boobs, sucks, bites, and licks my nipples which already surprised me because I didn’t think they could be that sensitive you know? So, she keeps going down and down until she’s literally face to face with my pussy. Luckily, I was learning to shave a bit, since puberty sucks ass so I didn’t feel so self-conscious right then and there. And I swear to God, what happens next is beyond anything I’ve ever experienced. My best friend finger fucked me and ate my pussy out until I was screaming and creaming all over her fingers and mouth until I couldn’t handle anymore. So, to make a long story short, I really enjoyed that experience because after that night, I realized women really know what women want. But would I do it again now? Honestly, no because I’m not seeking it anymore,” I say.

“I understand that. But in all honesty, that’s fucking hot, Y/N. Damn...if only I knew you back then. But in all seriousness, we’re similar in a way. We’re people who are just looking for someone to have that connection with that’s meaningful for life. But back to sex, I bet I can be the one who knows your body better than you do,” Jason says, before he winks at me. “I can be the one who knows what you like.”

“Oh my God, you’re very egotistical. You know that, right?”

Jason smirks, and kisses me again until I pull away to get comfortable. He cuddles with me once more and shifts to lie down where my head is near his chest. “Oh, but you love me, doll. You wouldn’t change anything about me, would you?” he asks. I look up at him and run my hand through his messy dark hair. I tug it playfully as he hums at the display of affection.

“No. Would you change anything about me?”

“Never.”

“Well, that’s good to hear then. Goodnight Jay,” I whisper and yawn at the same time.

“You’re so fucking adorable, Y/N,” Jason says softly, as he kisses me one last time. “Goodnight doll.”

I feel my chest tighten from Jason’s sweet comment. We rest in complete silence. The sounds of our breathing and the touch of our embrace relaxes me to the point where I don’t hear my phone vibrating at first. I slowly and quietly move away from Jason to get my cell phone. It’s a text message, and I lean over to the edge so the light of my screen wouldn’t disturb Jason.

It’s the unknown number.

So, you have finally learned the truth and heard everything with your own ears? I’m impressed you’ve managed to hold yourself together. So now that you believe me, I think it’s time we meet face to face. I need to know if you’re serious about our partnership.

I feel sick to my stomach already.

Look, I may not agree with how my boyfriend handled his cheating or lies, but I’m not going to hurt him. I really just want to move on from all of this and just live my life. So, whatever your revenge thing is, I don’t want anything to do with it. I text back.

The person immediately responds.

Ha. You’re funny. You just think you can walk away from all of this and that I would disappear from your life as if this never happened? Wow. I actually believed you were intelligent, wise, and had a sense of instinct. But you keep surprising me, and I for one do not enjoy surprises. So, let me say what will happen if you ignore me and refuse to meet me tomorrow. You see Y/N, I have something that Dick Grayson would want.

What do you have??? I text back anxiously.

Wouldn’t you like to know? Let’s just say that what I have, if it ever fell into the wrong hands, it would not only destroy him, but his family, friends, and the one man he sees as his father for the longest time, his life would be over. And let’s just say if this got out, I already have everything tracing back to you. All evidence: is pointing at you. So, if you think you can fuck me over and leave, you have another thing coming.

I run a hand through my hair, and I breathe hard. I can’t run away from this. I can’t escape. This person has me under their thumb.

Now that you understand what is at stake, I want you to meet me tomorrow at Ace Chemicals at midnight. Alone. And if you try anything funny or cute, I will personally kill Dick. I will rip his head off with my bare hands, and I will shove his skull into your stomach. Now do you understand?

I understand. I text back with shaking hands.

Good. Now get some sleep. 

I put my cell phone down onto the nightstand and I breathe heavily. The weight of the world is on my shoulders, and I feel the strength and determination to protect Dick is happening to me again.

I lie down, facing away from Jason. I’m sort of surprised he didn’t notice me lying away from him. The second my body relaxes, and I fall asleep, I then feel Jason moving closer to me; holding me once more.

Before I feel an arm reaching across me to get my cell phone.

Yay! It’s the end of this part! Let me know what you think!!! 

[kob131]

https://rwdestuffs.tumblr.com/post/612147027824066560/this-is-a-loaded-question-but-is-there-a-reason

This is so full of bullshit.

Miles has been known to disregard virtually all criticism if it’s not worded nicely, bemoans not knowing how to write racism well (and then going on to still not change how he writes racism), put a lot of favoritism towards jaune, and in give the rest of the main cast the shaft in general.

That’s full of shit because A. He has openly accepted criticism and your definition of ‘nicely worded’ is ‘reducing the number of death threats to one’. B. you guys are even worse at that and you suck off each other and C. Miles has outright said he hates voicing Jaune at this point and OTHER WRITERS write his scenes now.

At one point, he said that if he had known how popular Pilot Boi would have become, he would have kept the line about him having a boyfriend in the scene, not realizing that the issue would have been him pulling a “Bury Your Gays” right there. His inability/unwillingness to learn from his mistakes is what makes people dislike him.

That’s a complete lie because Miles SPECIFICALLY said they removed that line BECAUSE of that dumbass trope.

In a post-Volume 3 interview with Buzzfeed, Kerry made a comment that heavily implied that Miles shoved in Silver Eyes without consulting him. Miles has had a history of just also being really cocky. And while I haven’t heard him doing it much now, responses to the criticisms regarding the plot holes and such were met with “Monty wrote it.”- Effectively trying to deflect blame.

So basically ‘Imma make up shit that never happened to bash Miles for it’ even though when KERRY HIMSELF takes responsibility for Jaune’s scenes, you still blame Miles.

Oh and Monty probably DID write it because those Silver Eyes only exist because of the Maidens. And who wrote in the Maidens despite his cowriters asking him not to? ... Yeah I thought so.

Effectively, Miles has acted a lot like jaune in the sense that he just doesn’t want to take responsibility for his screw-ups.

No, that’s you projecting on multiple levels.

Oh you think I’m exaggerating?

A. It projects his bias against Jaune because that’s a blatant lie.

B. It projects his inability to separate fiction and reality by seeing Jaune and Miles as interchangeable.

And C. It projects himself because Dudeblade never admits his own fuckups.

Miles also surrounds himself with fans who won’t complain about anything, constantly reassuring that he’s doing fine without providing any tips on how to improve. He’s also hypocritical, making claims that LoK missed the mark when rwby seems to be heading in the exact same direction.

ANd there he goes lying again.

A. He’s never shown to block anyone so it’s their own damn fault for not bringing their compliants directly to Miles.

B. He’s repeatedly said how he’s improved and repeatedly said he’s not a good writer.

And C. he said the FINALE of LoK JUST missed the mark and the rest was execellent, you just cut everything inconvienent to you out.

On top of which, while not directly Miles’ fault, there’s also how the company has treated Monty’s friends and family. Sheena was cut off from the project unceremoniously and Shane was fired. This was before all the lay-offs. Miles and Kerry took a show that had so much potential, and made it a run of the mill show that doesn’t really do much.

A. Shane was fired because he refused to change the system that only worked for the one guy who DIED.

B. It was never his fault his happened so you’re full of it to blame him.

And C. Considering that you assholes are quickly becoming a minority, you just sound desperate to reaffirm your delusions.

The LGBT+ Rep came off as really bad considering that the first confirmed LGBT+ Character we had was Ilia, a bitter lesbian who was complicit in the attempted murder of Blake’s parents and was willing to drag Blake back to Adam against her will. The way they handle racism is horrible too, as it comes off as “The oppressed people should stick up for the oppressors and simply ask kindly that they not be oppressed.”

A. You PURPOSEFULLY took Illa to be that way. Illa was never bitter about Blake not loving her, she STOPPED the attempted murder and felt CONFLICTED the entire way. You’re actually BEING homophobic for assuming g her flaws had anything to do with her sexuality.

And B. No it comes across as ‘You shouldn’t be a violent douchebag no better than your enemies’ AKA atheme of the damn show, you just want to be violent.

The way the narrative frames female characters’ reactions to male characters is also one of note. Yang rushes in to save Blake, and she’s met with belittlement and a lost arm. Jaune rushes in to get revenge and he’s met with unlocking his semblance and being validated. Yang, Blake, and Salem are all traumatized and they’re met with “They should get over it! They ruined everything! They’re being drama queens!” while tai, jaune, and oz are also traumatized and they’re met with “Oh, poor things! They deserve all the sympathy! They should be allowed to rest!” Yang yells at Oscar to bring back Ozpin and she’s met with “What a bitch” qrow and jaune physically assault Oscar and they get “Well, they’re angry and are feeling betrayed, it’s understandable!”- Miles’ inability/unwillingness to address these issues is also a point of contempt.

Translation: “He’s bad for not being sexist like me.” Because this shit makes in context, Dudeblade just sees dicks and vaginas.

Plus, Miles was known for constantly saying stuff like “I’m not a professional writer!” Which led to his staunch defenders to leap to his defense and make excuses. While I have no issues with Miles not being a professional writer, he doesn’t ask for help, nor does he accept it when it’s offered. It’s very jaune-esque.

Dudeblade, you call ‘pointing out your blatant lies’ as making excuses.

And considering the other writers, he clearly HAS.

Oh and speaking of THEM, why do you never bitch at them?

After all, Kerry voices Neptune whose more of a self insert than Jaune and has been on teh show JUST as long and Eddy has been MORE hostile towards ‘critics’ than Miles. So how come you don’t give a shit?

Oh wait, Kerry and Eddy will verbally kick the ass of any of you douchebags and Miles is too passive and nice to do it.

Because that’s the real reason why you have an issue. It has nothing to do with anything factual or even logical, you think you’re entitled to have this shit go your way (we can see it when you throw a fit if Jaune is onscreen for more than a second) and you know Miles won’t stand up for himself so you target him.

It’s basically bully behavior and that’s all you, RWDE, are. A bunch of entitled bullies too weak to even take an ounce of your own bullshit.

There is no ego problem, Miles seems to have a dangerous LACK of an ego.

There is no self insert problem, NO ONE would want to be Jaune except maybe sucidial people who think they get themselves killed easily.

The writing problem is just an excuse, you’re bold faced LYING most of the time.

The racism excuse is bullshit, half of you fuckers are racist.

The LGBT excuse is bullshit, you flip flopped on this issue.

You just go after the weakest link, like the cowards you are.

[amnachil]

The College Society Chapter 4 Part 7

Next part is up! Meet some new people. Also, Liam gets stuffed because he deserves it ;)

Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey Tuesday April 9

"If you don't feel it, we can postpone this shitty meeting."

Liam smiled cheerfully, but it was only to hide his obvious stress.

"I'm fine." he said nonetheless.

They were at his place, getting ready for the fateful diner with Robert Smith. I tried my best to cancel it but here we are. Fuckin' old fart. The baboon looked... afraid. He was still shirtless and munching on the cookies to apease his nerves. It was pretty clear he wasn't fine. Nate, who was reading a manga on the bed casted a glance at them.

"Are you scared it'll be like with Kilian's father ?" he asked.

Liam tensed. Of course that's it. I'm stupid. He must be afraid it'll be the same thing than before. After all, Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey's boyfriend had revealed his idiotic ex's parents were strongly homophobic. And it led to several traumatic events in his life. Besides, his own father was an ass. So no wonder why he feared a meeting with another old geezer.

"My stupid father is supporting the gay cause baboon." he stated. "Sure, he's a bit vulgar and all but once he'll see you like I..."

The blonde stopped mid-sentence. The other two were staring at him expectantly. They were all ears. Damn, I hate this lovey-dovey thing. No way I'm getting sappy. Liam opened his arm and smiled.

"A hug for comfort ?" he suggested.

At first, Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey looked at him like if he had grown a second head. A hug, seriously ?! Is he stupid ? Yeah, Liam was stupid. Stupidly cute and attractive. The blonde lad went for his hug. Not because he was craving for his boyfriend's touch or anything at all : it was just to make the baboon happy. (Just believe it please).

"Well Nate is right." confessed the chestnut boy. "I don't have any fond memories of fathers... Mine is actually ripping my family apart, and Kilian's one was a butcher who used to hate me. So yeah, I guess I'm not completely fine."

A blind idioit could see that. Even your hug is lame dummy. Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey only sighed.

"I understand but I assure you, nothing bad will happen." he claimed. "Because I'll be with you all the time and I won't let the old fart do anything to you, okay ?"

"But what if I snap ? My shrink Ms Hang said I'm not very good at controlling my emotions. I don't want to hurt anyone..."

The blonde lad pinched Liam's soft side. Well, he's gotten pudgier. I like it.

"You won't." he assured. "I trust you on this. But as I told you before, if you feel unready to do this we can delay."

Liam took a deep breath.

"I think I'm fine thanks to you and Nate. Let's go."

The diner didn't go as planned. Not at all. When they arrived at Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey's place, the old coot he called a father stared at Liam like if he had the plague. Geez what a nice start.

"Wait, you're the Strucker's offspring ?" he asked threateningly.

The blond lad was prepared to go all out to defend his boyfriend. Strangely, it was important for him that baboon felt at ease with his damn family.

"For fucksake you're hella gorgeous !" Robert Smith continued. "My rowdy yet lovely wife wasn't wrong ! If I were younger I would bang you myself !"

The blond junior let an intimidating grunt slip. The baboon is mine moronic father. Thankfully, Liam was half-listening, and he only smiled timidely.

"Nice to meet you Mr. Dami's dad." he whispered.

"I see you got a fucking sense of bloody humor." laughed the old fart.

The whole situation was awkward AND embarrassing for Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey. His father was so vulgar and disrepectful ! And this dummy boyfriend who called him Dami's dad !

"And you have a decent size to be fair." continued Robert Smith. "Well you could be a bit bigger but that will do it."

Now they were talking about size ?! What the hell ?! And I wonder which size my idiotic genitor is talking about...

"I assure you Dami is keeping me well-fed." replied Liam.

After that, it became even crazier. They had diner in a relaxed but awkward atmosphere. And Robert gossiped a lot about Isaac Strucker. Like how he was an asshole who betrayed his damn trust. And how he pocketed money from their company like a fucking thief. Liam agreed to everything. He said he had been sure his faher's wealth was dirty money. So they both found they had something in common : they resented Isaac Strucker. I guess it's good. Not that I care. Honestly, Damian Nicholas Smith was ashamed of his old coot's rudeness. Tch, he's so vulgar. I should teach him how to talk to handsome boys. This boring and annoying meeting finally came to an end.

"It was nice meeting you Liam." stated the old codger. "My wife told me you took my gummy bunny's virginity and I'm okay with that. Bet you're a good top."

Okay. Let's stop this fuckin' ridiculous conversation. That's too much embarrassement to handle. The junior almost pushed his boyfriend towards the door. This one was too stupid and nice to take offense anyway.

"Okay you two are now bestfriend and all it's super nice." he mumbled. "Maybe you can found an anti-Isaac club someday. But it's getting late and Liam can't wait to go to bed. Right ?"

Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey glanced at his boyfriend and winked. I hope he gets the signal.

"Oh yeah I'm completly worn out." he said sheepishly.

Of course the baboon wasn't faking it. He had been so stressed, he truly needed to rest now. And it was past his usual bedtime anyway. He kissed the junior, said goodbye to his father and wished both a beautiful night (his words).

Liam Thursday April 11

He should have know it. It was kind of predictable with his actual way of life. But Liam wasn't a person who anticipate. So here he was, stuck in his bathroom, facing wardobe malfunction. His shirt wasn't the main issue. It was snug, especially around his belly, but he estimed it okay. The jeans. The jeans are the problem : they ain't cooperative at all. It was impossible to close the zipper. His added flesh wouldn't let him do that. But Liam didn't want new jeans. He liked these one. (Yes he was sometimes stubborn like that.) He tried again, obviously without anymore success. Can the unicorns make them fit ? He was positive they had the power to do so. (But they probably won't, since it's a silly and mortal problem which didn't affect them.)

"I know you like to take your sweet time baboon but we'll be late for the movie." grumbled his boyfriend as he entered in the room.

Dami stopped when he understood the situation. He twitched and his brows furrowed. Liam pouted.

"My jeans are playin' cheeky." he explained.

"Maybe... You should just go for the next size ?" replied the junior.

"But I want these jeans !" whined the chestnut lad.

His boyfriend came closer and put an hand on his bulging stomach.

"I'll help you." he growled. "But look at you all beefy and bulky... How much do you weight now ?"

"91 kg (200 lbs)."

Looking at his reflexion, Liam had to admit, he was kind of big. He had broke the 200 only recently however. Althought he looked very muscular, he was also soft and well-padded. He had nicely chubbed up, particulary his tummy. Back in highschool, he had been chubby but it had felt like if he was losing strengh in the process. But right now, I feel stronger and more confident. He got side-tricked for a moment, thinking about his mission for the unicorn now that he was athletic and well-fed when something made him realise he was not alone. Dami had moved around him, trying to close the jeans.  By some miracle, he had succeeded and even if the freshman felt a bit constricted, it was okay. Anyway, what attracted Liam's attention was an hand. An hand which was squeezing his butt comfortably. When he looked at his boyfriend, this latter blushed and ended the contact.

"So- sorry." he stammered. "You were out of it and it was right there... I just... Damnit can we forget it happened ?"

"Why ? You can appreciate my tushie all you want." teased Liam.

"Don't make fun of me baboon. We have to go. And you know what ? I like these jeans too so keep 'em."

He was more than glad to obey.

Dami's mood changed when they entered in the theater, and it took Liam a moment to understand why. The vampire was two raws behind them, and she looked ready to suck their blood. (Usually, the dreamy lad didn't recognise most of the people he had met, but she was different : you don't encounter a vampire every other day !).

"Are you afraid she'll devour us ?" he whispered to his boyfriend.

This latter grumbled something and rolled his eyes.

"Just don't approach her." he replied. "She hasn't any good intentions. And you see the two bi... girls over here ? Same."

He was indicating the whitch and another student who looked familiar. They weren't exactly looking at them, but ogling from time to time. And suddenly, it struck Liam. How come he didn't realise that sooner ? They were Dami's lovers, of course they were ! That was why he boyfriend was acting more distant. The chestnut lad frowned. He wasn't prone to jealousy, especially when he was the one who let his boyfriend slept around. He perfectly knew a succubus needed sex and himself wasn't ready to provide that just yet. So no, he wasn't exactly jealous. He just wanted to remind them what was HIS. (Liam was a 8yo boy at heart so what he owned was his and only his for crying out loud !). He mentally cheered himself : he was about to fight a vampire and a witch to free his boyfriend from his inner desire. Thanks the unicorns he had brought a sword this morning.

"Baboon." Dami brought him back to reality. "Usually you're cute when you're day-dreaming, but right now you look kind of scary. Do you intend to murder someone ?"

"Only if it can't be avoided." Liam sheepishly confessed.

The blond junior almost choked on his drink.

"The hell ?! You never cease to amaze me... What are you thinking exactly ?"

"I just want your lovers to know that right now, you're with me and they can't have you. They can sleep with you later."

Dami's eyes widened while he listened. And then, he mumbled something Liam's didn't catch.

"These girls ain't my lovers baboon. They're here because... Nevermind just don't trust anything they say. And please, for the love of god, do not accept any gift from them. Not even food !"

"Who do you take me for ? I'm not easily bribed !"

"How many pancakes ?"

"Like a thousand !"

Nicolas Friday April 12 – Saturday April 13

"Hm... Are you sure this is necessary ?" asked Nate.

He wasn't the only one surprised. Colton seemed a bit unsure about this plan. But Nick knew it would work. Right in front of them was piled up all the junk food they had found in the apartment.

"I'm one hundred percent sure. In order to achieve my goal of losing around 22 kg (50 lbs), I need to get rid of this crap habit of mine to eat junk all the time. Which means we're getting rid of it now."

Nate shrugged. Since he wasn't eating much lately, this decision wouldn't affect him anyway. Colton smiled.

"If you really want to do it, I'm sure you'll manage." he assured. "Remind me, how much do you weight now ?"

"Like 97 kg (213 lb)." grumbled Nick.

Broke the 200 had been quite a shock. Rebecca's words were still burning in the back of his mind. And to make it worst, he had had the stupid idea to do a video call with his parents. They called me a irresponsible kid who doesn't know how to take care of himself. And mom said I was near obesity. Which might or might not be true. But he didn't need the label. Anyway so yes he was self-conscious.

"What are we gonna do about all this food ?" asked Nate. "We can't just throw it..."

"Don't worry." assured Nick. "If I'm right, our dear roommate will be more than glad to stuff himself with that."

"He doesn't like junk food that much tho ?" countered the short lad.

"Trust me I have an idea."

Said idea worked pretty well. First, Nick had explained to Liam that it was a mission from the God of Light. Only such a lie could manage to catch the delusional lad's attention. Then he told him that for every packet of junk he could finish, they would offer him pancakes. I'm glad to say I know this dude well by now. And pancake is the sacred word. And here they were : Liam was starting to get full while the others were enjoying the show. Nick was fascinated. In all honesty, his roommate was hot. When they first met, the geek had took an habit to covet him when he was half-sleeping half-naked in the apartment. Now Liam was significantly fatter and heftier but still hot. The chesnut boy smiled when his bestfriend brought him another plate of pancake. His stuffed belly wasn't near his maximum capacity yet. Something in Nick's stomach twisted. He felt both annoyed and sad at the same time. I don't like that. Time for some instropection. He discreetly grabbed his phone to contact his online friends. In this kind of situation, watching their discussion was funny. Like being at the zoo.

< TheSavior : Guys I'm angry, say something stupid. >

A belch escaped Liam's mouth and damn, that was both entertaining and kind of frustrating.

< Abeautifulwoman : I corrected the typo in my user name. Three years, and I mean THREE WHOLE YEARS and no one told me. That's low. >

"Can I have more ?" asked Liam.

In one hour or so, he had managed to polish three quarter of the junk food. And several plate of pancakes that Nate and Colton were cooking next to them. It was amazing, and Nick couldn't shake the weird annoyance he was feeling.

< Imagenius : Since you're not a real girl I thought it was only a proof of that... so fuck you. >

< Abeautifulwoman : boyo's mad cuz i won't help him with the treasure hunt >

Liam was busy with hamburgers. How the hell he managed to eat so many at once was beyond Nick's comprehension. And to think he's not stuffed yet.

< Imagenius : srlsy ? My friend doesn't want to say anything more and you neither ! What is it to you ? Is your boss friend part of it or what ?! >

< Abeautifulwoman : you're just jealous because i know things you don't >

Jealous. The word made sense. Liam was chubby and pigging out like if there was no tomorow. And what did he get ? A (weird) boyfriend and friends who admire that side of him. And all the women at the university plus most of the logical men were hitting on him. What about Nick ? Nick was fat and disgusting. Even obese. So yeah, he was jealous of his roommate.

< TheSavior : Ok enough. Got what I needed you're both stupid. Cya. >

< Imagenius : Mean ! Bye :3 >

< Abeautifulwoman :Ugh. See u >

True to his reputation, Liam finished everything. Which was honestly amazing. Stuffed like a turkey, he decided to doze off right away. Archibald came for his usual meeting with Nate, and they went in the bedroom to talk privately (Liam was sleeping and this man wouldn't wake up even for the apocalypse). Nick busied himself with tidying the room but he wasn't satisfied. His famous plan had left him pissed and self-conscious. And hungry. Very hungry.

"Here." smiled Colton. "This is the diet program you asked me."

The fatter of the two ogled the sheet of paper like if it was witchcraft. The word salad made him scowl.

"Are you sure this is what you want ?" asked his friend. "The goal of the regime must be to feel comfortable with yourself, not please the others..."

"Yeah, I know. It's ok thought, I will lost weight in no time, and everything will be fine."

At least Nick hoped it would.

To be continued

Dami’s father is... something :p  What I like with Liam is how he enjoys his body, and the belly. In that light, he’s the total opposite of Nick, who is doubting himself completely. Watch Nick’s online friends, they’ve an important part to play in the story ;p

[lightsandlostbells]

Skam Austin season 2, episode 1 reaction

Finally, Skam Austin returns, this time without Julie Andem behind the wheel. Honestly, no matter your opinion on this version of Skam, I’m actually quite curious as to where they’re going with this. Noorhelm, American-style? In the #MeToo era??? Will this season be a pleasant surprise and a sensitive rewrite of the original season, or will it just raise my blood pressure? 

Episode 1

Clip 1 - Less dance, more cupcakes please

Big establishing shots of Austin and Bouldin High, a “national outstanding high school” according to a banner. Abby talking a selfie with her girls. Tyler and his boyfriend sloppily kissing??? Congrats on being the first gay couple to get the S2 opening clip makeouts! Also, just gotta say, nice that a gay couple can engage in the same PDA as a straight pairing at a high school in a red state, although Austin’s less conservative than a lot of Texas.

Megan and Grace observe the makeout, as well as Shay sitting by herself on the stairs. Megan feels bad for Shay. When Grace asks why, Megan says she’d feel bad if Grace had a boyfriend. HMMM FORESHADOWING. Also, gay. Megan, the solution is to go be Shay’s girlfriend so she’s not alone. (For real, I have kinda mixed feelings on Megan and Shay actually getting together, because while I love their longing looks and hand holding, Shay betrayed Megan’s confidence in a huge way that would require tons of effort to repair the relationship, and I can only really buy it during a Shay season where there’s lots of focus on them. And I think it’s more likely they’ll give Shay an Even who’s brand new. But I wouldn’t object if there was a good story arc for Megan and Shay!)

Grace thinks Tyler’s boyfriend has a long tongue, Megan thinks Marlon’s is longer … well, that statement feels loaded. Like, we-won’t-need-Jonas’-Blue-Monday-power-walk kinda loaded.

Megan and Shay exchange an awkward wave. Almost a year later and things still aren’t normal, I guess. Shay fucked it up. 

Josefina has tried to do her own hijab, I guess? Zoya helps her do it properly. It’s really cute. Jo is my MVP of this show. I adore her. They need to make sure to do Shay and Zoya seasons on time so we can squeeze in a Jo season before they graduate.

Kelsey runs up. She made it onto the Kittens! I guess that’s one way to not have a dance team anymore. Some of the Kittens got busted for cheating on tests and got kicked off the team and L M A O obviously this wasn’t planned but I love this development happening now with the college admissions cheating scandal featuring Felicity Huffman and Aunt Becky.

Jo wants to tattoo Kelsey’s eyebrows, continuing the thread of her using Kelsey’s face as her cosmetic guinea pig from the first season.

Kelsey is excited because she can be on both the Kittens and the girl squad dance team. LMAO, so that WAS a thing. Did they actually dance??? It sounds like it. Apparently the team unofficially disbanded when Grace stopped going to the games and parties to focus on the school newspaper.

But I do love Grace being on the school paper; I worked for my campus newspaper so I am unreasonably excited to see where that goes. I’m assuming Noora’s Constitution Day article will become a column that Grace/(Daniel) writes for the newspaper?

Grace says she loves working at the newspaper and Kelsey tries to guilt her because it’s junior year and it’s the year colleges look at, you need to have extracurriculars. You can’t just be good, you have to be amazing. Well, that’s true, junior year is a big deal and the pressure to have a million extracurriculars is real. But lmao, newspaper is an extracurricular, as Grace points out. Kelsey thinks Grace needs more than “repetitive feminist essays” and OK, rude, and I also feel personally attacked. But if you’re going to get on Grace’s ass, Kelsey then what are your other “amazing” extracurriculars? By the same logic, wouldn’t you need more than dance teams? (I should not expect logic from Kelsey when it comes to dance teams, I know. Or Daniel.)

Jo gives this conversation the attention it deserves, which is minimal, because she has a cupcake. Her priorities are accurate. She says it’s the best cupcake in Austin so her search is over. Lmao, that Instagram content paid off. Now she should take on her quest for other top desserts. Megan can assist her in finding the best smoothie in Austin.

They’re talking about spring break. Kelsey needs to get her body ready, a hint toward her body image issues and concerns over her weight. Then Daniel’s voice comes out of nowhere to tell Grace that juniors can’t park in the senior lot. Grace says it’s not a big deal, Daniel says it is. Zoya, BLESS HER, is like, “So what are you going to do? Kick our ass?” YESSSSSSS someone besides Grace is not taking Daniel’s shit. 

It is downright uncomfortable how much Kelsey is trying to cozy up to Daniel playing hall monitor and how Daniel just ignores her when she’s right there to flirt with Grace. He says he hasn’t seen Grace in a while. At first I thought they did have their infamous date during the long hiatus - can you imagine not including that scene in a Noorhelm remake - but as it turns out, it still hasn’t happened. He asks about Grace’s boyfriend, and Kelsey blows Grace’s cover by saying Grace doesn’t have a boyfriend. Grace tries to save it by saying it’s her ex. So that’s how she got Daniel off her back. You know, if you lie about a fake boyfriend, that should be a giant clue to back off, dude. But instead Daniel knows she’s single so you know he’s gonna go after Grace again.

Kelsey tells Daniel she’s a Kitten and wants to take a pic with him. God, this is cringe-worthy. Someone stop Kelsey from doing anything. Ever. And it is so deeply awkward how the girls just stop and watch as Kelsey snaps some selfies of her with Daniel. In front of Grace.

Something super interesting in the comments: a few people commented how it didn’t feel like a Julie Andem clip. I assume people who recognize Julie Andem by name are fairly involved in the fandom, but I’m not sure how widespread the knowledge of Julie’s departure was. I wonder if they guessed it on their own.

Clip 2 - First rule of being an Eskild: never lock your door

Grace is cutting up vegetables for dinner. And dancing. I like they had her do this, it’s goofy and humanizing, and in line with her characterization from season 1. Noora would sing to Justin Bieber, Grace loves dancing like a fool. The irony of course being that Grace doesn’t give a fuck about the dance team, lol. She dances for herself and HERSELF ONLY (and sometimes Megan, when Megan needs a pick-me-up).

She talks to Megan, who is with Marlon. Megan told Marlon about what happened with Grace and Daniel, so errrr, thanks Megan? But Grace says she’s going to tell Kelsey everything, presumably about her and Daniel’s deal, so Daniel won’t have anything over her head. Daniel holding something over Grace’s head? Grace thinking Daniel might tell Kelsey something incriminating? Trust is an essential foundation of a relationship, just saying. 

Megan asks Marlon for his opinion and this dude clearly could not give a single shit about Grace and Daniel and Kelsey, he just says that if a girl isn’t into you, you just leave her alone. Not looking at the phone (and Grace) at all, just giving Megan some Looks, in my opinion. Based on later clips where he’s got a new girl, I think he’s trying to communicate that he no longer has feelings for Megan, but that Megan keeps hanging around and clinging to him. That would go along with Megan not getting it and saying maybe the guy doesn’t want to be left alone, showing she doesn’t get it (right after Marlon says “I don’t see why he doesn’t get that”). Also Marlon seems to be checking his phone during this chat so he’s not fully invested - my mind went to Jonas looking up other girls with Eva during the original version of this clip.

I will say, good on Marlon for knowing to leave girls alone if they don’t want you. Which is more than I can say for some characters in the Skam universe. Marlon’s probably my least favorite Jonas so this is a point in his favor, even if it is a low bar, lol. 

But also IDK if he’s being Woke or if he’s just swapping out Daniel and Grace for him and Megan and hoping Meg gets the picture.

Megan thinks Grace doesn’t want to be left alone and Grace goes into a rant about how Daniel isn’t her type, he’s not smart, doesn’t read, needs to check his white male privilege etc. Tbh it’s kinda cringy and on the nose in execution, like all of that is true and they’re solid reasons for Grace to not want Daniel, but I feel like they’re just stacking up ideas to be debunked about him. We’ll probably learn that Daniel is actually some sensitive dude who reads books and has political opinions and is a secret genius or whatever.

Grace notices her pasta is gone and waltzes into her cousin Eve’s room while Eve is engaged in some foreplay with her lady guest. Gee, Grace, that’s awfully bold considering you didn’t know what state of undress they’d be in. At least their underwear is still on … and Eve’s shoes … why does she have shoes on?? 

Anyway, LESBIAN ESKILD. Eve immediately establishes that she is some sort of hipster artist and kicks out Grace so she can go back to hooking up with her girl.

Daniel texts Grace that she’s cute when she gets caught, and thanks her for sending him her class notes when he was in the hospital. What was he in the hospital for? I don’t think that was stated on SM, or did I just miss it? (It’s on the Bouldin Beat Instagram: he had a football injury.) Grace said there’s no need to thank her because the teacher asked her to. He makes a joke abut football players not being able to read, which makes Grace smile, so you know ... she’s not so opposed to him as she lets on. But then he suggests they hang out tomorrow and her amusement fades, because that’s pushing things too far. We end before Grace answers.

Clip 3 - Why are we still talking about Daniel? Zoya’s words, not mine

They’re at SXSW for Marlon’s show. The banner says SX Sessions. I was confused as to why Marlon’s garage band would be playing here but looking at the banner for the event, I see something about all Austin bands, so if it’s an event featuring local talent, it makes more sense as to why Clout is playing.

A girl is talking to Marlon. Grace notices and seems to check in with Megan. Who does look great, by the way, in her leather jacket, her peer-reviewed ensemble. Megan’s still hung up on Marlon after almost a year, it seems. But also … lol, barely anyone wants them back together. They’re one of the least popular Eva/Jonas pairings. Possibly the least.

Kelsey is still talking about Daniel because he texted her and invited them to Penetrator Jo’s beach house for spring break. Grace is like mmmm … that sounds far away. I mean, would you want to be in her shoes, stuck at a beach house with the guy who won’t take no for an answer, where people will be drinking, where you probably couldn’t relax and even go swimming because that dude is definitely going to be looking at you in your swimsuit? Megan tries to help Grace by saying Marlon invited them all to a party. Josefina wants to go to be around mostly naked guys while they are also mostly naked. Kelsey and Zoya do not seem to be happy with the mostly naked part. Grace is like, we can just stay at my place and bake cookies instead! That would be my preferred option.

Kelsey wants some quality time with Daniel (is any time with Daniel quality time)and guilts Grace into going. I love that she’s like “We can talk about the dance team in the car” as if that would make Grace want to go. Grace reluctantly agrees and Kelsey tells Daniel the good news. He responds right away. He also texts Grace right away that they’ll be hanging out. No one notices the suspicious timing of the texts.

Kelsey wants to know if Daniel might like her, Zoya wants to know why we’re still talking about Daniel. THANK YOU. Megan goes off to talk to Marlon and block that girl from getting too close to him, like she literally squeezes between them. Zoya lays out what a rude ass Daniel was to Kelsey and Kelsey is like, but he genuinely apologized!!! And she’s a Kitten now!!! Kelsey loves how direct Daniel is and how he knows what he wants. Yeahhhh, about that. He does go after what/who he wants. It’s just not you.

Also, lol, they conveniently didn’t have to film an actual concert for this scene. 

Clip 4 - Newspaper time!!!

Grace is doing newspaper stuff at school with a guy (Nic) and Poonam. Poonam!!!!  That girl spoke her first line and I remembered how much I enjoyed her overachieving ridiculousness.

Kelsey texts the girls that she had a dream where Daniel asked her to prom. She was wearing her Kittens uniform in the cafeteria and Daniel came up, knelt, and offered a dozen roses. Lol, I don’t think Daniel would do that shit even if he did like Kelsey. But also … Kelsey. Dear. You’re so embarrassing. Being a Kitten is not going to make you a Daniel magnet.

They talk about the launch, so I guess the newspaper is a new thing? Or they’re adding a new feature? Poonam is nervous about the launch and what people will think of her. Grace says she doesn’t care what people think of her. (Or so she thinks ... I think Grace certainly wants people to think she doesn’t care and that she’s strong and independent, for example.) Poonam says if it fails she’ll pretend not to know Grace. Lmao, classic Poonam.

Grace slides over to Nic, the dude who’s there. According to the Bouldin Beat Instagram, he’s the cartoonist for the paper, but their conversation makes me think he does some graphics design, too. He’s listening to a Hamilton mixtape. Grace didn’t know he likes Hamilton, so she obviously didn’t see that Bouldin Beat IG post where it says Nic has the Hamilton soundtrack on heavy rotation. She brings up that her friend Kelsey likes the Hamilton mixtape. (I’m sorry but LMAO, because on the one hand I do find that totally believable, but on the other hand, my God, imagine someone with Kelsey’s level of racial sensitivity being a Hamilton fan.) Nick knows Kelsey and thinks she’s funny. So I think either he’s going to be the Magnus, maybe, as far as being Kelsey’s eventual love interest (although ... lol, see above comment about Kelsey’s level of racial sensitivity), or Grace will see him as a potential love interest for Kelsey and try to hook them up to get Kelsey’s mind off Daniel.

Shay comes in. It is instantly awkward. Grace: “I like your hair.” Shay: “It’s not real.” Lmao. I missed you, too.

However! In the most depressing development ever, Shay is here to see Nic. He gets up and kisses her on the mouth. It is bleak. Shay looks so not enthusiastic. She was staring at Grace in a pretty hard way, too, what’s that about? Did she know Grace saw her texts and showed them to Megan?

Shay’s “BYE” is passive-aggressive as hell. Grace sits there in shock as Poonam is like, they seem like a cute couple. LMAO GOD.

Just throwing this out there: best acted scene of the season so far, however brief. The power of La’keisha Slade.

Anyway. NOOOOOOO. Shayyyyyyy. It’s not unexpected, considering the trajectory of the Isak character in S2, but I thought, since Shay seemed to have an awareness of her sexuality at the end of S1 - she knows she likes girls and she was OK with telling Tyler about it - that maybe we could skip this stage. There’s something really dark about this, too, because Tyler is out there making out with dudes, it’s not like she thinks her friend group is completely homophobic (and yes, people can view gay guys and lesbians differently and have varying levels of acceptance, but I doubt that’s the case with Shay’s friends) so it’s not just about putting up a show for her friends.

What does Tyler think about Shay dating a guy? He’s not the nicest guy overall but he does care about Shay, and he knows she likes girls, possibly that she likes only girls depending on what she told him in the past. Now I’m wondering if Shay started dating Nic in part because Tyler has his boyfriend now, and Shay presumably feels like she’s left out, as Megan said. Damn. Shay needs a hug in any case.

Clip 5 - Cookie baking

Grace’s J. Didion (as in writer Joan Didion) sweatshirt is a nice touch and exactly the kind of thing I think her character would wear.

I enjoy Eve on principle because lesbian Eskild fuck yeah, but I also feel like her delivery is very ... TV-ish. Like someone who has watched a lot of teen dramas and is channeling the same flow/energy of how those shows present dialogue. I don’t think she’s bad, it’s not that, it’s just more when watching this show I feel like I am watching a typical scripted TV show rather than the very natural Skam style - not just with Eve, a lot of the show, even compared to the first season. I just thought of it with Even because when she entered here, it felt more like a wacky TV neighbor kinda entrance, like she was Kramer or something. Is that because Julie isn’t working on the show anymore?

Anyway, Eve tells Grace about some girl who is lighting dildos on fire and that’s the real story here, I want the clip about the dildo pyre.

Eve sees a text from Daniel on Grace’s phone and says he sounds like a blast. I refuse to believe this lesbian would be impressed by Daniel in the fucking slightest.

He did send a cute dog picture to Grace so that’s one thing he has going for him. Grace has a cute dog, too. If their romance was just them walking their dogs, I could warm up to that. Gradually.

Grace says Daniel is some stuck-up asshole and Eve looks him up on her phone, saying she knows him. His brother was in her grade, a wild athlete who broke records, and his sister had some tragedy attached to her. The mention of tragedy gives Grace pause.

Actually, a point in Skam Austin’s favor: if they talk about toxic masculinity and rape culture in high school/college athletics and how jocks are favored and get let off the hook for heinous actions, that would be extremely culturally relevant. I mean, a football player in Texas? Treated like a god. And there have been some high profile rape cases involving athletes. Daniel’s brother has likely graduated and gone on to college, maybe playing college football if he was that good, but it would be a way to make the S2 sexual assault storyline even more suited to American culture.

Clip 6 - Daniel’s going to be on Investigation Discovery one day, mark my words

The girls are at Grace’s house. They must have had a sleepover. There’s a nice nod to OG when the girls mention using a Ouija board the night before. So I guess we’re not getting that cabin episode (understandable because American school timelines would not allow for it, probably). Jo was afraid the ghosts tried to pluck her unibrow. NOOOOO GHOSTS, LEAVE IT ALONE. IT’S MAGNIFICENT.

Grace comes out with nachos and offers them to the girls. Kelsey looks at that plate and is like, shoot, I can’t do cheese, or chips, or beans. And I know this is Kelsey and she has an eating disorder, but like … people have legit problems with cheese and beans, lol. To her credit, Grace doesn’t make Kelsey eat the nachos or call her out. She offers to make Kelsey a kale salad or a turkey wrap, but Kelsey shuts that down, too. (She was also doing jumping jacks while the other girls were reminiscing about ghosts, just saying.)

Megan is upset because Marlon left her on read, probably because he has that new girl, not that Megan knows yet, and Daniel is texting Grace about when she’s leaving. Daniel then texts Kelsey the same thing. Grace texts Daniel to stop using Kelsey to get to her. Daniel is like, wouldn’t have to if you’d answer me! Grace says he’s messed up. I mean, yeah. He is messed up. Grace doesn’t owe him a response, sorry. 

While the other girls are talking, Kelsey mentions that she didn’t pack a swimsuit because she doesn’t like swimming, while Jo says Kelsey loves swimming, so another hint about Kelsey’s body image problems.

Daniel tries to call Grace and she declines the call, so then of course he immediately calls Kelsey. Oh my God, it IS messed up for him to do this. It’s so damn manipulative! (I know this all happened in Skam but we get to live this mess all over again, yayyyy.) And of course Kelsey is excited, but then he wants to talk to Grace. Ughhhh.

Daniel says Grace is messed up, and he knows what he’s doing is also messed up, but they had a deal. Oh my God. YOU NEVER OWE SOMEONE A FUCKING DATE. This is such a dangerous idea! You should always be able to back out of a romantic commitment! If Grace had been like “I will buy you something off the Taco Bell value menu if you apologize to Kelsey” and Daniel was calling Grace to be like “I want my fucking cheesy rice and bean burrito already” then I would find that more sympathetic than this. But dating is something you should NEVER have to set in stone, sorry, and I think this is where some of the split comes between Daniel/William defenders and his haters, because some people think a deal is a deal and some people (like me) think a date should not be ironclad under any circumstances. That mentality contributes to rape culture. (The disconnect between S2′s sexual assault storyline and William’s behavior is wild, tbh. But this is discourse that has been hashed out a million times already.)

Daniel whines that he apologized to Kelsey almost a year ago and that Grace made up an imaginary boyfriend so she didn’t have to hold up her end. No, actually Grace making up a fake boyfriend is what women do to get men off their backs because said men will not leave them alone and it’s a sad fact of life. Because men respect other men’s “claim” on their property (aka women) more than women’s ability to say no.

Daniel sounds like a goddamn serial killer when he’s all “just keep your word and go on a date with me.” Grace sounds downright defeated when she agrees. And of course when Grace hands the phone back to Kelsey, Daniel cancels on them for the beach house. Jesus, so we didn’t even get cute girl squad beach antics? Boooooo.

And actually, how shitty is it that he uninvited them to the beach house? I get that William uninvited them to the party, too, but that was just a party. These girls got packed and ready to drive several hours to a beach house, like imagine if they were on the road when Daniel called, or if they’d already spent money on gas and other stuff for a beach trip, or canceled other Spring Break plans with their families or friends to go hang out with these dudes. Beach house was a bigger time/money commitment for them than just a party, and he uninvited them (via a completely obvious lie that he took no effort to hide on social media) just because he got his date out of Grace. Selfish as hell, dude.

Jo complains that there’s too much girl juice happening and not enough sausage, and Megan is like, “You had sausage this morning.” Lmao. Literally all of these girls should embrace the “girl juice” because there is not a single viable male option so far. Nic from the newspaper seems nice but he’s bearding for Shay at the moment.

Good closing song, though (“Nail in My Coffin” by The Kills).

One of the best things about Skam Austin are the comments, and this clip did not disappoint. Some of the highest-rated comments were things like (paraphrased):

“Daniel is being manipulative” 

“Grace doesn’t owe Daniel anything” 

“you can see the fear in Grace’s eyes when she’s talking to Daniel on the phone, red flag” 

“Daniel sounds like he’s threatening her life”

And my utter favorite comment from this clip, verbatim: “daniel reminds me of those guys in criminal minds who call people on the phone and tell them what to do otherwise someone they love will die - aka a creep lmao”

Social Media/General Comments:

I don’t know what the big holdup was with S2 - probably having to do with Julie’s departure - but it was a big mistake to wait so long, imo. I don’t think it was great for building fan momentum, although I notice that the first full episode of S2 has more views already than some of the episodes from last season that have been out for almost a year (not sure if Facebook was hyping this season or not like they did with the series premiere). They’ve also minimized time for future seasons. We can get Shay and Zoya seasons if they get one in for this fall and next spring, provided the show is renewed for those, obviously.

Anyway, Julie’s no longer the director. The director is Phillip J. Bartell, who has a pretty interesting track record: he was the editor on To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before, Dear White People (both film and TV series), and G.B.F. Feels like a decent background for someone to take on Skam; he has experience with teen films and with more diverse fare than just straight white people. He also edited a shit ton of low-budget gay films, most notably the Eating Out series, including directing and writing Eating Out 2: Sloppy Seconds, and I have to include this excerpt from the Wikipedia plot synopsis: The five then start scheming to out Jacob, the closeted leader of the ex-gay ministry, to his mother by tricking him to have sex with Octavio, another member of the ministry, in a portable toilet on wheels. Jacob finally comes out to his mother (after he inadvertently ejaculates on her coat as his sexuality is revealed), and flees with Octavio. 

I did get more of a traditional teen drama vibe from this episode, and I do already miss Julie’s style of filmmaking: it was one of the best things Skam Austin had going for it. However, I’m going to give the sloppy seconds guy a shot. Although admittedly, this season of all seasons is one where I’m most apprehensive about handing the material over to a male director, no matter his track record. (Then again, a woman created Noorhelm in the first place, soooooo.)

I feel like Skam Austin more than other remakes has a large percentage of the viewers who watch the whole episodes rather than the clips, or who don’t understand the real time structure (correct me if other remakes have drastically more viewers for the full episodes than the clips). Each clip is flooded with comments telling the show to make the episodes longer or asking where the rest of the episode is. Tbh I find that really interesting because no doubt Facebook wants Skam Austin to be the hip new way to consume media in real time (I mean, assuming you have not seen the original show) but a large portion of the audience does not want to consume the show this way, lmao. And a lot of them cannot figure out how to watch the show! I blame some of that on the confusing Facebook video format, like the original Skam website felt so clean and easy to follow compared to Facebook’s ... everything.

Prior to the season’s start, there was a lot of SM stuff that set up stuff for this season, such as Jo’s epic quest for the best cupcake, Daniel’s car, the Kitten scandal, Abby is dating some football dude who’s one of Daniel’s friends, etc.

They made a point of it being Daniel’s birthday and him turning 18, I wonder if that will be relevant to the plot at all? Because now he’s legally an adult. Maybe if he beats the crap out of someone, like with the Yakuza guys, it’ll matter because he’ll be charged as an adult vs as a juvenile.

Abby’s new football player boyfriend is named Hunter. He has his own Instagram. I’m not sure why so much focus on this guy? I have nothing against him, just not sure why he of all people has an Instagram, compared to like Poonam or another supporting character. Would he be the Niko character since we already know Daniel has a brother? I guess maybe Daniel could hypothetically get in a fight with him over some Yakuza dude? Will Hunter end up dating one of the girl squad instead of Abby? Or does he not have much of a role except to be another of Daniel and Pen Jo’s social circle, lol?

Some information from the Bouldin Beat Instagram: 

Grace is a staff writer, Poonam is a researcher (???? do they mean copy editor? if she’s researching stuff wouldn’t she just be a staff writer since ... they all do research ...) and Nic is a cartoonist. And Poonam’s full name is Poonam Para, love me that alliteration. (There’s also a Sullivan Smith and a John Jackson.)

Poonam does write the advice column. She manages to include a reference to Frozen in at least one piece of advice, to no one’s surprise, lmao. 

In between reminding students about the 2018 midterms and an active shooter drill, the newspaper took the time to do the most important piece of all, Who Knows Daniel Williamson The Best.

His favorite movie is Dumb and Dumber which is not so subtly a connection to Grace’s IG name (Mary Swanson is a character from that film). So either it’s a thing they genuinely have in common, or he’s been trying to get on Grace’s good side. Or I guess he stalked her, watched the movie, and legit enjoyed it as Isak did with Romeo + Juliet for Even.

Penetrator Jo knows Daniel the best out of those questioned. Hunter does not know Daniel that well. Foreshadowing? Hunter’s a fake friend?

There are lots of horoscopes but I don’t know how to connect them to the characters since I don’t think we know their birthdays.Oh, except Daniel’s a Pisces, but I don’t know if him being so sensitive and “feeling all the feels” fits his personality that well.

The girls took part in the climate strike on March 15 and I do like the show acknowledging youth activism. I’m not sure it’ll play a huge role in the show itself, although frankly it would be a huge missed opportunity to ignore #MeToo considering the content of this season (based on the original).

Meg posted a pic of her with Grace captioned “me and wifey” and I don’t even ship them compared to other Eva/Noora pairings, but that’s just cruel.

There’s a text message and it confused me at first because Daniel says he apologized to Kelsey, and my eyes had glazed over that it was from last June, at the end of season 1. We get a rare glimpse into older texts that happened during a prior season - usually don’t see that with Skams, letting us see what was happening when the previous POV character couldn’t see it.

Anyway, back in the day, Daniel invited Grace for a picnic, she called him a cliche, they bantered, but it seems like she was a little torn about not being into him. He told her he apologized to Kelsey. Eleven days later he asks about their date and Grace says she’s in Dallas all summer and he says that wasn’t part of the deal. She asks if he seriously needs a date as incentive for baseline human decency, GOD, THANK YOU. A Noora finally said it. (Or at this point, it might not be the only Noora who said this. I’m still elated that Grace did.)

In September he texts her “shame about that boyfriend” so either she had a real BF and broke up with him at some point, or she just lied about it. I think it’s possible she said she had someone in Dallas which would be an easy way to keep up the lie. The “my girlfriend who lives in Canada” of Texas. And so that brings us up to now, where he notes she got caught and asks her out again. Daniel, fucking LISTEN to what she said about baseline human decency.

The girls’ group chat is Los Losers, an obvious reference to OG Skam’s girl squad. I got nostalgic as hell reading that, it was a sweet gesture.

I mentioned above that they didn’t stage the actual concert from Clout, which on a practical level I completely understand. But in-universe, it’s pretty far-fetched that there were no concert pics or videos from any of the characters on social media. I guess one of the hazards of Skam’s realism and social media format is that sometimes realism is too expensive to film, lol.

Daniel, Pen Jo, and their crew were all about the beach/spring break selfies this week so LMAO at how people were expecting the girl squad to chill at the beach later and just … that didn’t pan out.

Instead of going to the boys’ beach house, the girls did sheet masks, which is way more fun and also yields terrifying pictures.

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

[anything-advice-blog]

Dealing with rejection and jealousy.

Hello,this will be a long ride. I liked a guy for four years. I gave some hints now and then and it seemed like he reciprocated. This led to me rejecting several guys who wanted to hook up beacuse I was naively “saving myself for someone special”. Unfortunately,on graduation day he ultimately rejected me by drunkenly confessing that he is gay and that he knew after all this time that I liked him. I do not have ill will because of this (not a homophobe) but I kinda feel like he led me on since some hints were more than friendly (other people also thought that we could be a couple and some urged me to confess my feelings). I didn’t tell anyone (except my friend) about what transpired and I won’t spread it further. My friend said that she heard a few days ago that he is gay (she is a childhood friend of his). She said that she wanted to tell/warn me,but she did not know how to. This friend now makes fun of me occassionally and I am pissed off as hell since I am secretly jealous - she has a boyfriend and I covered for her ass a few times (her parents don’t know about the relationship + she cheated on him,I did not say anything since it is not my place to meddle and I don’t plan on betraying her) and this is how she repays me? I don’t know how to deal with this - I am actually shocked since there was not even a slightest hint of him being gay. I feel offended at the possibility that he actually used me/the fact that I like him as some sort of a “cover”. Who knows,maybe I am actually the reason he realized that he is gay? I don’t know what to think about this entire situation,I am overwhelmed with emotions and I obviously can’t think clearly. I feel used,mocked and devastated. How do I get over this? Please help me,any advice will do since I have no one to talk this through.

Hi there,

This is a really difficult position and I’m sorry that you’re in it. However, I would suggest that you try talking to your friend about the way they make fun of you and explain that it hurts your feelings. I would also try not to be too upset with them about not telling you that the guy you were interested in is gay. After all, it’s not really her secret to tell. I understand that it can feel like you were being mocked or used but I’m not sure it has anything to do with you. It might  not be that he was trying to use you as a cover as much as he was trying to figure out his sexuality and only recently came to terms with it. If you want answers about why he didn’t tell you sooner, you’ll have to talk to him.

I think that it will take some time for you to get over your feelings for him and that’s okay. Take all the time you need. Just remember that this isn’t really anybody’s fault. A person’s sexual identity can change many times over their life and it’s something you can’t control. I know that it’s painful right now but in time, you’ll move on.

-Livia

[oblivioustoast]

i was going back thru my tagsofthewhathaveyou posts and damn if they didn’t still make me laugh so now it’s time fooooorrrrrrr

Tags of the Week or Something Like It -

Greatest Hits!!!!

#Checkmate atheists

#i bet spooks hassle him all day trying to possess that rockin bod

#g spoot

#make sure to play it loud enough to hear in my coffin so i'll know my cue to kick it open

#*takes next train to garbage hell*

#HAS SCIENCE gonE TOOO FAR?????

#go big or go home as i never say

#so weird it almost seems like if you do something instead of nothing at all that results can be achieved

#do it. drink fire.

#I'm IN HeELL

#this better be good or I will kill everyone who's ever betrayed me

#so I ran him through with an axe.

#I had an idea for a script once.#It's basically Jaws except when the guys in the boat are going after Jaws#they look around and there's an even bigger Jaws#so the guys have to team up with Jaws to get Bigger Jaws#I call it Big Jaws#I already got a sequel in mind. It's called Way Bigger Jaws.

#y’all are pervs

#i want to tranquilize him#with my vagina

#CHROST

#DEAD TOM’S DEAD

#i round up to lesbian

#PLEASE DON’T LOOK IN THAT GUITAR CASE IT IS FILLED WITH SECRETS MOTHER

#hide this behaviour from your family in case they add it to their list of things to frown about

#The refreshing crunch of Sonic mpreg

#I'll date who I wanna date you hot potato chicken nugget ass double dipped bastard

#it’s like assassin’s creed but worthless and annoying

#i remember being angry the day i discovered the patella wasn't literally a little bowl that cradled your knee like a tiny leg helmet

#...............how to toothpaste

#having multiple heads and terrifyingly powerful visages must be hard for all of you

#Whatever the hell fucking time or day it is on what the fuck ever planet I'm on

#i am terrified of macauly culkin tbh

#some1 call da hottie police

#*toot toot too-* *stops* fuck. *toot too toot*

#i bet you looked down here to see if there was a little extra joke in the tags

#no not that low-- THAT'S NAUGHTY

#ok but if Xena's not in it it's not true

#if you ignore my flaming vomit body

#can i liver here?

#I mean who the hell knew bananas were flammable they never mention that

#these things are too glamorous to stick in my glorious orifices.

#one day the aliens will come and use our love of hollywood pets against us

#ain't nobody fuckin' with my click click cl...why won't this fucking remote work?

#abandoned you sayyyy….

#Thomas the NSFW Engine

#thigs gap

#are you out of YOUR MIND

#then again it doesn't really matter because the sun will explode and everything

#dogs getting hired is why I can't get a job. Thanks Obama

#I could make a list of people who need to stop. This list would span the Atlantic.

#partner in crime or partner in.. *whispers*....sexual activity

#Did you know that wolves also enjoy Mimosas like people?

#nope useless let's eat them

#no wanking till winter

#everybody is so utterly fucking dead jim

#this isn’t helping my fucking raging FIERY EXPLODING DESIRE TO SHHHHHHHHHHHHH  #SHAG HIM

#the other day i found a relative in a jar in the roof and THAT’S NOT SOMETHING ANYONE SHOULD HAVE TO STUMBLE ACROSS.

#quite a goddamn pickle if you ask me

#*crawls under a rotten log in the middle of the woods to die*

#but beastiality?!?!?

#my vibrator just electrocuted me.

#is this a joke I'm going to punch you in the lips with my mouth

#this is a vagina you can't fool me

#why can dogs even snore what is the point

#If the FBI sees this I’M KIDDING jfc

#I think it would be amazing to be killed by Christopher Lee.

#my first blowjob i was really scared so my boyfriend let me put nutella on his penis and all was well 

#australia is an animal joke factory

#just click your heels three times and then eat that mothafucka

#Pooh u ok?

#feelings disgust me

#ACTUALLY I WOULD TOTALLY DOWNLOAD A BUTT

#everyone is gay on tumblr

#you know what appeals to me sexually? cake.

#i also took the 'are you a potato?' test and the result was inconclusive.

#abraham lincoln could tell you that story and you would make him apologise for lying to you.

#I NEED MY HEART TO LIVE

#not even that time when i picked up that hitchhiker who turned out to be dead

#It's like Being John Malkovich only SEXY

#this isn't a metaphor for sexuality it's a tag about how i'm really bad at baseball.

#look don't come to me for spiritual advice i think the impending zombie uprising will sort everything out

#this scared the lousy shit out of me

#like when your house gets too dirty so you burn it down

[hamilton-one-shots]

Hamilton High School AU 16

Alexander froze, his eyes widening as he looked up.

"What was it again? 'I hate the taste of beer, but on John, it's like heaven is dancing on his tongue?'"

"You... You read my.."

"You know, you really should be careful with where you leave that thing. You're lucky I found it where Maria could find it and give it to John before someone else got their hands on it. But, you know," he leaned down to be eye level with Alexander, more threatening than condescending, "that's something we have in common. We both know what a talented kisser Johnny is."

Alexander's humiliation began to burn into fury. What good did Jefferson find in lying like that? He had to be lying. Didn't he?.. "Lucky for you, I got rid of his sorry ass. But, if you want to know who taught him all of his skills, call me." He pressed a sticky note to his forehead with his number, just as he had to Lafayette. "John is great, believe me, but maybe you should let a pro teach you a few things."

Alexander took the sticky note off of his forehead, staring at it in shock for a few seconds before turning to Thomas, watching him walk away. "Wait." Thomas turned back. "How.. How much did you read?"

Thomas grinned. "Aw, Lexi. Well, the only thing wrong with you and sex is the fact that you haven't had it. But, no worries. John should take care of that, right?" He walked away, leaving Alexander in shock.

This had to be some sort of sick joke. He pulled out his phone and dialed John's number, stammering as he answered. "I.. J-Jefferson.. Y-You.. D-Did.." He broke down and whined.

John, who had already been walking in hat direction, began walking faster as he listened to Alexander. "Hang tight. I'm going to be right there." He stayed on the phone as he fought the crowd, putting it down once he reached his distressed boyfriend. "I'm here.. What happened? What's wrong?" He put the notebook in front of him as he crouched down, keeping himself from touching Alexander this time.

Had Jefferson not confronted Alexander, he probably would've just let everything bubble inside as usual and locked himself in at home. But even he knew that wouldn't be smart. "I was going to tell you sooner, but.. Lunch happened and Laf needed the attention, so I just put it away." He took a deep breath. "Jefferson's been flirting with me all day. He's been.... He was acting funny in the morning, then he gave me a note and asked me to lunch. I thought it was for Laf, but he corrected me and I just ignored him. Then he tricked me into signing up for the school play and Laf took me place- I feel so awful for him... And now he just won't stop staring.. You saw it.. I feel his eyes just boring into me everywhere I go." He whined for a second, then stopped and continued. "Then lunch.. Laf needed help and Herc wouldn't help him and I couldn't take it and I just snapped..." He wiped a few tears away from his eyes, sniffling. "And you got mad and Laf got mad and I wanted to talk to you, but I couldn't. I was so angry. Then I got scared because of my notebook and Jefferson just came and... And.. Damn it! Why did you kiss Jefferson?"

John frowned as he listened to Alexander's rant. "I'm sorry... I wish you would've told me, but I understand.." He took the sticky note from him and ripped it up, throwing it in a nearby trashcan. "About what Jefferson told you.. I don't want to say it here.. Just let me tell you at your house. All I'm asking is that and that you let me say what I need to say."

Alexander nodded and pushed himself to his feet, wiping his eyes again. "Jefferson read my notebook.. He said that the only thing wrong with... with me and s-sex is that I haven't had it yet and that you.. you would change that, but I don't want to change that... I just want to go home... I want Laf.. I want my mom..." Alexander whimpered, not feeling much bigger than a toddler.

John hugged him close, rubbing his back. "He's wrong. I won't make you do anything, okay? I'll just take you home and explain everything there, then I'll leave. I promise." He took Alexander's arms and moved him behind him, helping him hop onto his back. He carried him home, his heart breaking with each whimper that he made. Once they got there, John carried him up to his bedroom and put him down on his bed, sitting across from him.

Alexander already missed John's touch, but wanted to reject it at the same time, feeling betrayed. He hadn't caught onto the fact that whatever happened between John and Jefferson was not recent and the fact that he hadn't denied anything and was taking all of these measures only confirmed his worst fears. "T-Talk.." He just wanted this to be over.

John nodded and took a deep breath. "Okay... This was just last year. Jefferson had just moved here from France, but I could still tell he was from the south by his accent. I was just coming to terms with the fact that I was gay too and he wasn't shy about flirting with me... So, I got close to him. I didn't tell Laf or Herc, though. They don't know anything about this." He paused for a second. "And... We started hanging out at his place once I told him that I was kind of interested in him and he started kissing my face and sometimes my neck and I didn't know how to feel about it, but I let him. I trusted him. He even stole my first kiss..." He paused before continuing. "And then.. one day, a Friday, he was kissing me more intensely than usual and he pinned me down and tried to take off my pants and he wouldn't stop and I got my hand free and punched him." He didn't even realize how his nails were digging into his skin, blood beginning to flow down his arms. "I ran home. My dad found out about him and, next thing I know, I was out on my own. Now, here we are," he choked out.

Alexander's previous irritation faded into nothing, replaced by a deep concern and and embedded anger against Jefferson. How dare he do such a thing to John? His eyes widened as blood flowed from John's arms, though the other didn't seem to notice. He grabbed some tissues and pressed them to his arms, beginning to panic. John was great at handling these situations and taking care of Alexander, but it had never been the other way around like that. "Hey... Hey, it's okay. I'm not mad at you, I promise." He took a deep breath, trying to stay calm. "I'm going to clean your arms, okay?.. Then, if you'll let me, I can kiss them better. We can cuddle and talk... I could do the talking." He continued to clean John's arms, hoping that they would stop bleeding, but that wasn't quite happening. It was strange. John's nails were pretty short. He didn't know how they could've cut so deeply. He tossed the bloodied tissues into a trash bin and sighed as the bleeding finally slowed. It wasn't a threatening amount of blood loss, but it was scary... "I'm not going to make you hold me or anything, but you can if you want. I've been told I give great hugs.." He smiled softly, jumping a bit as John seemed to spring back to life.

"No. No, I promised I would just tell you and go home." He got up, felling himself shaking. He didn't want Alexander to see him like this. Too many thoughts. Too much energy. Too much anxiety. "Text me later if you want, but I have to go." He kissed his cheek. "Don't forget to take your medicine." He walked out of the room and left the house before Alexander or his parents got a chance to see him leave.

"Wait!" Alexander called after him, but he was too fast. He heard the front door open and close before he even made it out of the room. He ran to his window and saw John walking, his hands clutched to his hoodie as he tried to stop shaking. "Hey! I love you, John Laurens!"

John glanced back for a second, but ultimately ended up just walking off.

Alexander sighed, his face sinking into a frown, and made his way downstairs. He wanted to talk to Laf more than anything, but he wasn't home yet. And he highly doubted he would be welcome after his episode. But he needed to talk to someone. And he needed a witness. So, he sat at the kitchen counter, watching Martha hum happily as she finished up some work.

"Did you need something?" she asked him, smiling as he nodded in reply.

"I promise John I would take my medicine. Can you text him for me so he knows that I did?"

"Yeah, of course." She watched as Alexander opened the bottle that he'd brought down with him and let a capsule fall into his hand, eyeing it warily before knocking it back with some water. She got her phone and texted "son #3" [Alexander told me to let you know that he took his medicine]

John's reply came fairly quickly. He needed a distraction. Something, anything. [Thank you :) Sorry for leaving so suddenly]

[It's okay] [Thank you for taking care of Alexander]

[My pleasure]

Alexander rested his head on the counter, prompting Martha to put her phone down. "Today really sucked..."

"How so?"

He glanced up at her, thinking for a second. He hadn't considered opening up to Martha before.

"I don't have to tell George if you don't want me to."

"Thank you..." He began telling her about his day, leaving out the incidents with John and blowing up at his friends, mainly focusing on Jefferson being a bully. He kept it vague, but enough for her to give him some advice. Martha was great at helping him. She wasn't his mom, they both she would never be, but they did begin to feel a bit closer.

"Are you sure it's okay for me to come over?.." Hercules asked as they pulled up at the house. After all, they hadn't seen Alex or John since lunch. There was no telling what was up.

"I don't know... I hope so, though. Maybe being with John lifted his spirits a bit."

Hercules nodded as the pair walked up to Laf's room. "I hope you're right.." They sat in Laf's room, letting Rosie join them. "Are you okay?.. I never really got a chance to ask earlier.."

Lafayette nodded, though his attention was on the kitten pawing playfully at his legs. He chuckled and slid down to the floor with her, smoothing his skirt out beneath him. "I'm fine. I talked with John before I went to the table and he's right. Jefferson's wrong and was just trying to get a rise out of me."

Hercules felt his heart inflating. It was hard to stay worried when his boyfriend, after reassuring him, sat and played with a kitten. He slid down with him and scratched between Rosie's ears, making her purr. "You're right.. He's just mad that someone as gorgeous as you won't return his feelings or whatever he has." He chuckled.

"Please don't even mention it... He's such a creep. He told me he was after Alexander now. I'm worried about him after Saturday.."

Hercules frowned a bit. "I'm worried about him too... But he can't do much as long as we keep Alexander near us."

Little Rosie was unaffected by the heavy topic, leaping around playfully as the pair tried to pet her and making the other two smile.

"She just won't hold still today," Lafayette said as he tried to pet her, being met with tiny bites on his fingers. "Ow," he chuckled. "I think she just misses us. We haven't seen her since yesterday." He booped her tiny nose, making her sneeze.

Hercules reached for her, trying to pet her, but she dashed off, wiggling her way out through the door. "I'll get her." He got up and went after her... Only to find her just outside of the door, Alexander holding her.

Alexander looked up for a split second before his eyes darted back down, away from Herc.

It broke his heart. Had he really scared him that badly?..

"... Can I come sit with you guys?.. John went home.."

Lafayette waved him in from inside. "Come in. We were just playing with Rosie. She's so hyper today."

Alexander let Rosie jump out of his hands and followed her back to Lafayette, sitting beside him as his phone vibrated. He hid his excitement as he saw that John had texted him.

[Hey, sorry for going so soon. I didn't want you to see me so wound up. I understand if you're mad.] [I love you so much.]

[Im not mad, jus tired] [I luv u 2, even wit all the dum shit i say n do, i luv u so much]

"I'm sorry about lunch, Alex... I didn't mean it.."

"Me too..."

Hercules smiled, taking it as a full apology.

"Can I... Can I talk to you guys about something?.."

"Of course," Lafayette nodded. He didn't know why he couldn't tell John, but he wasn't going to ask. His brother needed to talk.

"Thank you..." Alexander took a deep breath. "Jefferson read some really personal stuff in my journal and came up to me about it.. He it's wrong that I haven't done it yet and that John was going to change that and that he kissed John before and that I should go to him if I wanted to learn to do it properly and John was going to fix me by making me do it with him and-"

"Alex." Hercules interrupted him, his face half horrified and half concerned as he opened his arms for him.

Alexander didn't hesitate to lean forward into Herc's embrace, whimpering as Hercules hushed him.

"Hey.. Jefferson isn't going to make you do anything. Laf and I will be there to help you tomorrow."

"If he tries, I'll kick his-"

"Hey, Laf?" Martha called from the open door. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

He nodded and got up, following her out to the hallway. After a minute, he came back and sat beside them again. "She just wanted to make sure I was okay after what Jefferson did to me today."

Alexander nodded. "Sorry for telling her.."

"It's fine." He smiled.

Alexander smiled back weakly and thought. The next day, he was going to have his friends there protecting him... Except for during that first period.

"Hey, Alex?.. What do you mean Jefferson kissed John?.." Hercules asked.

He froze up. He promised he wouldn't tell.

[spellcastersjudgement]

please could you do fusionshipping and number 7?

*takes drag of cigarette* fusionshipping, you say? that was baby froots oh tee pee growing up…this one is gonna bring back a lot of super gay sixth grade headcanons and feelings and u know what?? im glad  

#7: a kiss to shut them up 

Jaden Yuki was like the sun. Warm, bright, a symbol of happiness and growth. Zane wasn’t cliche enough to state that he was the moon or something, but Atticus supplied that for him. His best friend had a goldmine of of gross poetic things to say about the differences between himself and Jaden, and if Zane wasn’t a closet romantic and desperately pining for the other duelist, he would’ve backhanded Atticus with enough force to give him whiplash. 

That wouldn’t be the only reason Atticus Rhodes needed to be backhanded. He’d been earning his comeuppance for several years now. 

“Hey, look over there,��� 

Zane heard Atticus’s voice at his shoulder and smelled a scheme, but humored his best friend and looked over to where Atticus had jerked his head. 

Jaden Yuki had just walked into the convention center, duel disk on his arm, other arm linked through Jesse Anderson’s. Jim and Hassleberry were a few steps behind them, also with duel disks–that was a bit surprising, as Zane hadn’t seen either of their names on the registration for the tournament. They wouldn’t be competing in the same bracket, so Zane didn’t think too much of it. They wouldn’t have been good competition anyway. There was another issue though. If Jaden had all of them here, plus Syrus as his manager, it would– 

“Damn, we’re not gonna get any alone time with him,” Atticus grumbled. They were at the bar, day drinking to survive the opening ceremonies for the tournament, which was too much talking and not enough card games for Zane. 

Though he was loathe to agree with Atticus, Zane could privately admit that Jaden showing up with his entourage would mean that he would have less time with the brunette. “We?” 

“Yeah, we, Zaney. You and Jaden see each other all the time at the super high-level tournaments, but you never make any moves without me bugging you,” Atticus downed his drink and signaled the bartender for another. “Now I have to work on separating Jaden from the pack and then I have to make sure you do your job of actually flirting with him instead of just staring at him and hoping he gets the message,” 

“Stop strategizing.” Zane ordered. 

“Zane, if you would get off your ass and actually–” 

“I’ll see Jaden at the next tournament, this one doesn’t matter.” Zane grumbled, knowing that Atticus wouldn’t take him seriously but saying it out of principle. 

“This one does matter–come on, I need you two together while I’m still young!” Atticus said, throwing up his hands, exasperated. 

“He doesn’t like me, Rhodes,” 

“You don’t know that!” Atticus started on his typical spiel of how Zane wasn’t a mind reader, how he’d never know the joys of love if he didn’t risk experiencing pain, that Jaden was single and put up with Zane’s shit, which was more than Zane should expect from anyone. 

“Come on, you two are perfect–sun and moon remember? Yin and yang? Do I have to read my poems to you again?” Atticus threatened. 

“Read me a poem and I’m cutting off your hair,” 

“You say that all the time, Zaney–my hair is still as long and beautiful as ever.” Atticus’s took a sip from his fourth drink of the afternoon. “Look, you get blasted, you flirt with him, tell him how you feel–a year from now you’ll be Mr. and Mr. Yuki-Truesdale and I get to officiate the wedding,” 

Jaden Yuki-Truesdale did have a nice ring to it. 

“I’m not doing that,” Zane said, mostly because even in his most private fantasies of Jaden and him being together Atticus Rhodes was not the one marrying them. He’d already slated Alexis for that position. 

Atticus wasn’t paying attention anymore, he was laying a hand over his heart, smiling, a faraway, dreamy look in his eyes.  “Come on, come on–opening ceremonies tonight. Picture this: sit next to him, take his hand, look down into those big, beautiful eyes, stroke his cheek, tower over him on your spider legs and whisper: Jaden Yuki, will you do me the honor of being my Eternal Sunshine?” 

“Shut the fuck up,” Zane snapped, feeling a blush coming on. Eternal Sunshine. What a name. What a fitting name.

“You two would be adorable–you with your goth aesthetic,’ Atticus motioned to  Zane’s all-black ensemble, the makeup, the nails, the choker. “And him, with his boy-next-door aesthetic–adorable! It’s the season for love!” 

“It’s midwinter,” 

“All seasons are seasons for love, you frigid bitch,” Atticus huffed, shoving Zane’s shoulder. “Look, I’m going to go distract everyone and–” 

“Atticus if you set me up with Jaden I’m going to smother you with a pillow,” 

“Now that’s a threat I believe,” Atticus said. “That’s why I made sure your manager booked us separate hotel rooms this time,” 

Atticus dropped the subject–sort of. He was now alternating between drinking and swiping through pictures of Chazz, and Zane would be lying if it didn’t make him jealous to hear his best friend gushing over his boyfriend. They were nearly impossible to stomach when they were together, what with Atticus coming up with nicknames and breaking out into song at every available opportunity. Zane had known Chazz for a long time, and when they’d gotten together he’d hoped the black-haired boy, who was always ragging on Jaden for being over-the-top, would bring Atticus’s antics to a grinding halt. He felt betrayed when Chazz started blushing and thanking Atticus for all of his romanticism instead of chastising him. 

In a moment of weakness, probably brought on by the alcohol, Zane reflected upon how maybe he should let Atticus help him out with Jaden.

The moment was gone in an instant. That would be a horrible idea. 

“Hey, hey, hey,” Atticus whispered excitedly. “Eternal Sunshine at 6 o’clock,” 

“Don’t you–” 

It was too late. Atticus was already slapping down cash on the bar and standing up. “Hey there, Jaden! You know where the bathroom is?” 

“Hey Atticus!” Jaden’s voice sent a jolt of happiness through Zane, and he took another drink to calm the frantic beating of his heart. “Jesse’s heading to the bathroom now, just follow the blue hair,” 

Zane saw Jaden sink down into Atticus’s empty chair. “Hey Zane,” 

He swallowed another mouthful of gin and tonic before responding. “Nice to see you,” 

“What’s it been, a week?” Jaden laughed, leaning his elbow against the bar. “Didn’t expect you to be competing in an open-entry tournament,” 

“Atticus wanted to enter,” Zane tried not to think of sunshine and seasons of love as Jaden laughed again. 

“He bring Chazz with him?” 

“Chazz is halfway around the world with Alexis and Bastion,” 

“Oh yeah, Prague. Bastion told me about it, I didn’t think Chazzeroo was going with them,” Jaden picked up the drink menu, no doubt looking for something fruity and sweet, something Zane would never touch with a ten foot pole. Another thing Atticus liked to wax poetic about–only he could make something corny and romantic out of drink orders. 

“We should go to Prague,” 

Zane nearly choked on his drink as his mind rared into overdrive. His mind knew that logically the second half of that sentence was “for a tournament,” but his heart desperately wanted it to be for more personal reasons. Mr. and Mr. Yuki-Truesdale–damn Atticus for bringing the thought to the forefront of his mind (he’d thought of it before, certainly, but only late at night when he was feeling especially lonely, not in broad daylight with Jaden sitting right next to him)–on honeymoon in Prague. Not his first choice, he’d always imagined it on a beach somewhere, but if that’s what Jaden wanted–

This train of thought was strangely reminiscent of Atticus. They weren’t–god they weren’t even together, let alone married. One step at a time. 

Or zero steps at a time because you won’t do anything, Atticus’s voice–when had he gotten in here?–echoed in Zane’s head. 

“You alright, Zane?” Jaden asked, leaning forward, concern in his eyes–here he remembered Atticus comparing the color to some chocolate he’d bought for Chazz–and Zane was ready to swear off alcohol for the rest of his life if it was going to cause him to think of Atticus Rhodes. 

“Um, yeah, I’m good,” Zane said. “So you were saying we–that, uh, we should go to Prague,” 

“Oh yeah, I bet it’d be awesome!” Jaden thanked the bartender for the fluorescent pink daiquiri, picking up the cherry and popping it into his mouth. Zane nearly passed out at the images in his head. “I don’t know anything about it, but it’d be an adventure–think about it, two Americans lost in the Czech Republic, can’t read anything, only armed with our duel disks and wits–sounds like a movie,” 

“The only movies I’ve seen that take place in the Czech Republic are horror movies,” Zane said. That’s not the kind of movie he wanted to make with Jaden. 

God, bad choice of words. 

“You’d keep me safe–no one messes with Zane Truesdale,” Jaden smiled, and Zane–well he would have to agree with him. If anyone laid a hand on Jaden Yuki in his presence it would be the last thing they ever did.  

“Tell Syrus to register you in a tournament and I’ll tell my manager to resister me,” Zane said. 

“Tournament?” 

He looked up from his drink at Jaden’s surprised tone. He felt a glimmer of hope, praying that he wasn’t about to get it dashed. He had to play this cool, no matter what he was feeling. “I thought we were talking about competing together,” 

“What? Oh, no, um,” Jaden’s face, the pretty face that had both haunted and blessed Zane’s dreams, was bright red, his lush, coral pink bottom lip–god, he was starting to sound like Atticus again–between his teeth, his eyes to the floor, lush eyelashes brushing against his cheekbones. “That’s not–not what I meant,” 

Oh god. 

Zane let himself feel a bit more hopeful, sit up a little straighter, lean in toward the brunette. 

He was speechless, but Jaden couldn’t seem to stop the words from stumbling out of his mouth. “I’m so–oh god, um–I meant like, together, but not–I was talking with Jesse last night and then Alexis called me and Bastion–they all said that–that I should–even Syrus said that–I’m sorry Zane I thought that you–I thought that you liked me–I’m so–” 

For Zane, it felt as if time had stopped. Jaden–his Eternal Sunshine–returned his feelings. 

Jaden was still talking, wildly gesticulating, his drink sloshing out of the glass and staining his sleeve. Zane–Zane could listen to Jaden talk all night, had done so many times while they were together at tournaments, but right now he wanted Jaden to stop talking, but–but Zane couldn’t speak, couldn’t tell Jaden how much–

Well there was something else. 

“I just–I don’t want this to change our friendship and–” 

Jaden was still going. Zane stood up–spider legs, like Atticus said–put his hand, which he saw rather than felt, on Jaden’s chin, feeling the softness of his skin, brown eyes wide and surprised as Zane leaned down–

In all of his musings about what it would be like to kiss Jaden, Zane never expected a spontaneous kiss to surpass his perfectly constructed fantasies. 

The brunette’s lips weren’t soft like he expected–they were chapped, rough, the texture a delicious contrast to Zane’s silky lipstick. The fruity flavor of the drink lingered on his lips, and Zane could learn to love the taste if it was being served to him from Jaden’s mouth. 

Enthusiastic by nature, Jaden quickly recovered from the surprise to throw his arms around Zane’s neck, bringing them closer together–there was the sound of glass breaking and Zane could hear the remnants of Jaden’s drink dripping on to the floor. A tongue forced its way into Zane’s mouth, a hand buried into Zane’s hair, teeth clacked together–Zane was dizzy with alcohol and the sensation of having Jaden Yuki in his arms, kissing him with wild abandon, and wouldn’t be surprised if he’d keeled over and woken up to find this was all a dream. 

When Jaden pulled away, blue lipstick smeared on his chin, he knew it wasn’t. 

“So, uh–wanna make Prague our first vacation as a couple?” Jaden laughed, smiling. 

“Yes,” Zane choked out, stroking the side of Jaden’s face. “Yes, my Eternal Sunshine,” 

He realized what he’d said a moment later when Atticus’s laughed interrupted the moment. 

“Another plan well-executed!” Atticus praised himself. “I’ll go search for plane tickets to Prague,” 

“Hey, hey Addy,” Jaden called. “Be sure to book mine under Eternal Sunshine!” 

Zane was going to kill Atticus–he wanted to smack that self-satisfied grin off his face. 

After he got back from Prague, of course.