#honestly but. can you imagine rolling up to it(2019) and this is the plot. everyone got a clown kink real fast and thats the whole movie.

[sagesolsticewrites]

Today Was A Fairytale | Austin x fem!reader

You decide to surprise your boyfriend in Australia on Valentine’s Day! ❤️ 

a/n: Happy (belated, oops) Valentine’s Day! This is a week late, I know, and I’m so sorry y’all! But thank you guys so, so much for your patience 🫶 I do have plenty more WIPs that I’m working on, and I hope to have those out sooner rather than later for y'all. And my requests are open if y'all want to send anything in! ☺️ For this fic, covid doesn’t exist for Plot purposes lmao

Word count: 2k (technically 1,999 but shhhh)

Warnings: some allusion to sex towards the end (might qualify as fade-to-black smut??), I think that’s it? As always, please let me know if I missed anything!

Please like/rb if you enjoyed! 🤍

Masterlist | add yourself to my taglist!

As you stand on the escalator, hands firmly gripping your carry-on to keep yourself from shaking with excitement, you scan the area near baggage claim as it appears bit by bit, keeping your eyes peeled for a sign with your name on it.

Your sweeping gaze finally snags on your name, the flimsy paper in the hands of an older, very fashionable woman, with a bright smile and cheerful eyes peering through cat-eye glasses. Your smile widens, and you wave to get her attention as you step off the escalator onto the polished concrete floor. You still can’t quite believe that Catherine Martin herself was the one meeting you here.

You greet her, a little starstruck, before she sweeps you into a hug.

“Darling! It’s so nice to finally meet you!” She smiles, “You know Austin honestly hasn’t stopped talking about you since we started filming,” she teases as you made your way over to get the rest of your things.

You laugh shyly, “Well, that’s very sweet to hear, and I apologize on his behalf.” Laughter fading, you continue in a more sincere tone, “And thank you so much for letting me come on set for a couple days, I can only imagine how complicated it must be to organize that.”

Catherine waves the compliment away, helping you get your suitcase off the carousel with ease.

“It’s nothing, sweetheart! It’s very sweet that you want to surprise him, and I’m so glad we could help.”

Catherine explains the plan in the Uber on the way to your hotel: take a few days to recover from the jet lag from the 19-hour flight, and on Friday — Valentine’s Day — you’d be taken to set to surprise your boyfriend. 

After Catherine makes sure you’re safely in your room and assures you that you can call her if you needed anything — “absolutely anything, darling!” — before tomorrow, you finally allow a grin to overtake your face as you collapse onto the bed. As Valentine’s Day gifts go, you were fairly certain this wasn’t a bad choice.

You and Austin had been dating for almost a year, since March of 2019. Originally just your childhood friend, a friendship born of proximity when your family moved next door to his, your feelings for each other had blossomed into what was honestly the healthiest relationship you had ever been in. You had been with him when he was auditioning, when he was cast as Elvis, you had watched as he practically lived and breathed Elvis in the months leading up to the moment he left for principal photography in Australia. He was crushed that your first Valentine’s Day together was doomed to be long-distance, and as he kept saying how much he wished the two of you could celebrate together, the idea dawned on you.

And now here you were in Australia, on the opposite side of the world from your home in Anaheim, getting ready to surprise your boyfriend who was currently playing one of the most famous men in history.

-

You spend most of the first couple days of your trip sleeping, your body insisting on ten-hour naps to recover from the flight through seven time zones. You’re able to pencil in some sightseeing, too, though by the time Valentine’s Day rolls around you’re even more anxious to see Austin; you’re the closest you’ve been to seeing him in a month but the distance between your hotel and his set seems impossibly far.

Catherine is your escort once again, and on the way to set she explains the plan to you, detailing the scenes they’ll be filming and where you could fit in, and making it incredibly clear that pretty much everything you’re about to see is strictly for your eyes only; they couldn’t risk a leak only a month into filming.

Admittedly, you’re a little starstruck being on a movie set, and it’s all a bit of a blur as Catherine rushes you over to hair & makeup to get you ready for the scene. The crew slips you into one of their many spare dresses, and they get to work making your hair and makeup era-appropriate. As one of the hair stylists — a kind woman whose name you learned was Gail — is in the process of getting your hair into pincurls, the door to the hair and makeup trailer sweeps open. Every eye in the room swings towards the motion as Baz steps inside.

As in, Baz Luhrmann.

Legendary, acclaimed director.

In the hair and makeup trailer.

And he walks right over and gives you a hug (as best he could with you in the makeup chair trying to stay as still as possible, at least).

“Y/N! Happy Valentine’s Day, we’re so glad you’re here.”

“Thank you so much for helping organize this, Baz!” You smiled. “I really hope I’m not disrupting the schedule or anything too much.” You had gotten to meet Baz a handful of times as Austin was prepping for the role, and he was one of the sweetest people you knew. 

“Oh, it was nothing.” He waves away the compliment, “I love a good surprise, and I’m glad I’ll get to see you two crazy kids back together. I just wanted to say hello and make sure you were doing okay. You guys take care of her, alright?” He directs the last part to the crew, and bids you farewell with a “See you on set!”

Soon enough, your hair and makeup are the best they’ve ever been, and you’re almost afraid to move for fear of ruining the gorgeous blue gingham dress they’ve given you as you’re escorted to set by an assistant.

You take your seat in the front row, trying your hardest to hide your excitement as you catch a glimpse of Austin talking with Baz just offstage.Your breath catchesin your throat as you take him in. After not seeing him for a month, seeing him in person is in itself a bit of a shock, but underneath the slightly baggy pink suit and effortlessly disheveled hair, you see the sharp focus in his eyes that's something entirely Austin. Time is a blur as the rest of the scene is set up, and the last thing you hear before Baz calls “action!” is his suggestion to Austin to find someone in the audience to focus on. 

You holdyour breath as he, Xavier, and Adam walk onto the stage, the smudged eyeliner bringing out the blue of his eyes as he scans the crowd. You fight to keep the smile from your face in anticipation as his gaze sweeps past you, then snaps back as he does a double take. The Elvis facade fades, the anxious fidgeting and nervous manner he’s put on entirely forgotten as he freezes, his eyes locked on yours.

“Y/N?”

You nod, unable to hide your grin any longer as you give him a playful wave, “Happy Valentine’s Day, Aus.”

In a flash, the guitar that had been looped around his shoulders is set carefully on the stage and he jumps down to the floor to greet you, the cast and crew cheering him on.

You let out a breathless laugh as you’re swept up in his arms and spun around in a circle, his grip strong and secure and safe as always. As your feet finally hit the ground, Austin’s gaze sweeps over you, taking in your light blue gingham dress and 50s pin curls, before his eyes meet yours again and you’re finally, finally pulled in for a kiss. 

It’s a sign of how much you missed each other that by the time you pull away your carefully-applied, no doubt expensive, movie-star-quality lipstick is smudged beyond repair, and Austin’s artfully disheveled hair is a mess. Some part of you cringes slightly at the thought of messing up the hair and makeup crew’s hard work, but a much larger, much louder part of you — the part that had been missing him since the second he’d left — couldn’t care less.

“I— Sweetheart,” Austin laughs with a tinge of disbelief, still holding you tight as though you might slip away at any second, “What are you doing here?”

“I missed you.” You say simply, grinning. “And I knew how upset you were that we’d be missing our first Valentine’s together, so I thought I’d surprise you.”

“You flew all the way to Australia to surprise me?” He asks, as if to make sure he was hearing you right.

You nod, cheerfully humming an affirmative.

He laughs, shaking his head in disbelief. 

“You’re ridiculous,” is all he says before pulling you in for another warm hug, lips brushing your ear as he whispers, “I love you.”

“I love you, too” you whisper back, tucking your face into the crook of his neck to hide your growing smile, toes curling at the familiar smell of his cologne — something warm and woody that you had gotten him for Christmas last year.

After what seems like not enough time at all, your very professional boyfriend regretfully pulls away — after all, he is here for a job. Baz is kind enough to let you stay and watch them film several scenes, but after seeing how distracted Austin is (he’s trying to stay professional, he really is, but you’re here and he’s missed you so much) he cuts the day short, offering everyone a chance to celebrate their Valentine’s Day properly. 

You’re glad you brought one of your nicer dresses with you, because that night Austin takes you out on the first non-Skype date you’ve had in a while. The two of you end up at a fairly nice restaurant, talking for hours as if you haven’t been apart at all. In lieu of the typical red roses, he gives you a paper rose to add to your collection back home; a tradition that began with your very first date, and one that you hope continues for as long as possible.

You spend a romantic evening together, followed by an even more romantic night, and the contentment you feel waking up the next morning in Austin’s arms is incomparable to anything else on earth. You don’t open your eyes at first, content with the feeling of your head on his chest, legs tangled together, his arms pulling you in closer, but you can’t help but smile up at him as you feel his eyes on you, and the softness in his gaze as you meet his eyes nearly takes your breath away.

Your hand, from its resting place on Austin’s chest, works its way up his neck to cup his cheek, almost as if you need to confirm that he’s really there, solid and warm next to you. You bite your lip to hide a smirk as your eyes catch on the marks scattered across his skin — proof of your, er, very enthusiastic reunion the previous night. He leans into your touch as you whisper a soft “good morning” to him, and he returns the greeting, mumbling it against your lips as you’re pulled in for a kiss.

He glances quickly at the alarm clock on the nightstand, making a note of the time: barely 9am. “What time is your flight, again?”

You mentally file through your sleep-scattered brain for your flight information. “My flight leaves at 1, but I wanna try to be at the airport around 11, maybe 11:30ish?”

He nods, seemingly incorporating that information into whatever idea he has brewing in his head. “I don’t have to be on set until noon,” he says, taking on a suggestive tone as he moves to hover over you, “Any ideas on how we could spend all this time?”

Grinning, you pull him down into a bruising kiss, making a mental note to send flowers to the hair and makeup crew as an apology for the marks they’re going to have to cover on him after this morning.

All in all, not a bad Valentine’s Day.

Taglist: @queenslandlover-93 @anangelwhodidntfall @austin-butlers-gf @butlersluvbot @killerqueenfan @kittenlittle24 @beauvibaby @kingelviscreole @sweetheartlizzie07 @coldonexx @londonalozzy @annamarie16 @adoreyouusugar @djconde58 @mirandastuckinthe80s @luke-my-skywalker @tubble-wubble @apparently-sunshine @kisseskae @whotfatemywaffles @gyomei-tiddies @friedwangsss @shynovelist @sassy-ahsoka-tano @she-is-juniper @hallecarey1 @adoreyouusugar @iheartcbe @nora-nexus-34 @finelineskies @dontbesussis @fangirl-imagines

[ang3leyes]

they arent reading the smut they just found out its his weakness and use it to their advantage (is what i like to think was implied in that post)

I hate this I hate this I hate that this is an ask I just got about that fucking pennywise post I hate this

[elenichr]

The Best (of The Good, the Better and the Best, of the Rest of 2021) AKA You Should Definitely Read This

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by J. K. Rowling

Bloomsbury

2005

5*

--------------------

We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson

Penguin

2009

5*

This is one of those five-star reads - and I think most of mine are - that catches you off-guard. I didn’t really know what to expect from Shirley Jackson; maybe some elements of gothic lit?

The writing is superb, the subject matter also. Its otherworldliness is what wins you over. I just loved every second.

As far as hard plot is concerned, it’s more traditional, there’s no big gasp; I think Jackson sets everything up too well to manipulate the reader. But overall, it’s one of those books you think I honestly have no idea where we’re going from here - and I’m so into that.

--------------------

Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia

Jo Fletcher Books

2021

4.5*

mal de aire

“They’re heavy places. Places where the air itself is heavy because an evil weighs it down. Sometimes it’s a death, could be it’s something else, but the bad air, it’ll get into your body and it’ll nestle there and weigh you down…”

p. 131

The living house, the family bloodlines, the network of this evil, its workings - excellent gothic premise, such good execution.

--------------------

The Heart Principle by Helen Hoang

Corvus

2021

4.7*

This is how one falls in love with romance.

This is brilliant. It’s fun, it’s real, it’s not just about the romance as if the people involved don’t exist outside it. That said, we don’t get to know Quan that well; a lot of the time he exists as support to Anna’s character. The smut is just great. I only wish the last part was given more attention. It feels a bit hurriedly finished. We don’t have enough time to process changes, everything is resolved/tied-up quite abruptly. Despite my couple of tiny dislikes, this is very close to a perfect read; I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it, how the hours fell away reading it, how much I rooted and felt/fell for the characters. The rep was awesome.

I think I’ll give The Kiss Quotient a go at some point. I haven’t heard/seen the best stuff about The Bride Test - I don’t think I’m going to try that out unless I die for The Kiss Quotient, in which case, I have to read it, don’t I?

--------------------

Wilder Girls by Rory Power

Macmillan Children’s Books

2019

4.3*

I.Loved.This.

Hetty + Byatt + Reese

AKA THAT COVER

AKA you read this, will read this for the cover

This book is a good example of how you can drop the reader in a world that should make no sense to them without much explanation of the past and future and still have them ask no questions (They Both Die at the End take notes). I think this is stronger for what it feels like it’s missing: background, character past, history of the Tox, what the hell may be going on in the rest of the world, everything we don’t know about the girls, their families, secondary characters; the list is endless. It it perfectly written as a moment in time, a small chunk of these three girls’ interlocking existence, and that’s all it needs to be. The characters are its strong suit.

--------------------

Outlawed by Anna North

Weidenfeld & Nicolson

2021

5*

This is hugely enjoyable. I catch myself repeating the first line a couple of times a day. In the year of our Lord 1894, I became an outlaw. It has become a bit of a mantra; not sure what it represents for me, but I can say with certainty that I enjoy rolling through it again and again.

I realised how much this book would mean to me when I was describing what I was reading to someone. I think of it as parallel to Hamnet, another re-imagining, with some clear common areas.

It is awesome.

[pretend-writer]

Kids Of The Future (Chapter 4)

Mini-Series

Summary: After time traveling from the apocalypse in 2019, a surprise waits for Diego and Y/N as they arrive at Dallas, Texas circa 1960.

Pairing: Hargreeves x sibling!reader, Diego Hargreeves x reader

Word Count: 2k words

Warning: mention of violence

✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤

Licking my lips, I stared at The Handler with curious eyes. It scared me that this woman that I only knew through Five knew my name, and wanted to make some kind of deal with me.

Five told us stories about how shady this woman can be and knowing how smart our genius brother was, I trusted everything that he said.

Being very hesitant of hearing her out, I became cautious. ‘What do you want from me?’

‘Nothing really, well nothing that is yours.’ The Handler inhaled the smoke from the cigar, smirking at me as if she was plotting something against me. The look in her eyes already made me not trust her.

It probably had been about two minutes that we just looked into each other eyes; The Handler was watching me think, seemed as if she was trying to play mind games with me.

As she exhaled the smoke back out, she chuckled lightly. ‘What are you thinking something so deeply for? I’ll give you something in exchange of course.’

‘You should’ve led with that, honestly.’ I sighed, the stress somewhat was relieved from hearing that. ‘What are you giving me?’

‘The briefcase. I know you and your family are trying to go back to your timeline.’

I shook my head and started laughing, ‘You’re kidding me right? Surely someone evil like you wouldn’t pass me something that is as important as the briefcase. You’re bluffing.’

‘Evil? Is that what Five says about me? I’m a little hurt.’ The Handler rolled her eyes, ‘Trust me. What I want from you is as valuable as the stupid briefcase.’

‘If it’s stupid why don’t you just let us go back to our own time? You out of all people know we don’t belong here.’

‘Don’t you want to earn the briefcase?’

‘No. I prefer to have it for free especially because I don’t know what the hell you want from me.’

The Handler smiled at me, ‘I want her.’

‘Who? Allison and Vanya is coming home with us, are you crazy?’

‘I don’t want your siblings. Five was a pain in the ass, I can’t imagine having you guys at the commission. I want that kid of yours.’

My heart dropped immediately, I didn’t know whether to cry or get angry. ‘W-what do you want with Bel?’

‘You give her to me, I’ll give you the briefcase. I think it’s a win-win situation for you if you ask me. You don’t have to babysit someone’s kid anymore.’

‘What makes you think I’ll hand her to you so easily for a fucking briefcase?’

‘You have Five as a brother, I know you will. And like you said, you all don’t belong to this timeline.’

I loved Bel as if she was my daughter, we’ve spent time together for nearly three years. Diego and I basically raised her, she even called us mom and dad. Why was it that all of the sudden this woman wanted her? No one tried to take her back three years ago, she was my daughter and I would never let her go.

‘What do you want with her?!’ I screamed out loud, tears slowly falling down my eyes. I didn’t mean to yell at The Handler but I couldn’t help myself. I didn’t trust this woman one single bit and knowing that she was after Bel scared me.

The door to the salon opened, revealing Diego that had a worried look on his face. ‘Everything okay here?’

I turned the other way, hiding my face from Diego. The last thing I wanted was for him to see me cry and worry about this. ‘I’m fine, Diego.’

‘Who are you?’ Diego asked The Handler.

She replied with just a hum, ignoring his question. ‘Y/N, think about it.’

‘Fuck you.’

‘Whatever you say, Hargreeves. I’ll see you very soon.’ The Handler walked away into the darkness. Frankly, I never wanted to see her again.

‘Y/N, who is she?’ Diego asked me this time, placing his hand on my shoulder.

Quickly swiping it away, I turned the other way to the other side of the road. I needed time to think, time to understand why this woman that Five thought so disgustingly about would ever want anything to do with my baby.

Diego pov;

Y/N walked away from me, I could tell she was crying when I saw her cheeks were wet before she turned away from me.

I still didn't know who that woman was and it terrified me that she did or said something that made Y/N so upset.

'Can you talk to me please?' I tried a different approach, hoping that she would answer my question.

'It doesn't matter.' Her voice was shaky, staring at nothing into the dark alley.

'Something is upsetting you though, it matters to me.'

She turned around to face me, avoiding eye contact not that it mattered because the streetlight was so dim I barely saw anything.

'Come on baby, we're a team. Tell me what's wrong.' Y/N was an emotional drunk and this day determined that. She was never the type of person to express her feelings as much as she did tonight.

It made me imagine how much of it all she kept it inside; our brutal childhood with Reginald, the times when we called each other and told me she was fine. I always knew Y/N was strong but seeing how helpless she was, I wanted to save her.

Y/N rushed inside back to the salon, disappeared right in front of me in a blink of an eye. Following her, I saw the others questioning Y/N what she was doing. She didn’t respond to any of them, it was as if she couldn’t hear anything they were saying. Next thing I knew, she bolted right out the door and started to run.

All of us rushed outside and followed her, Luther calling out her name to get her attention. She continued to ignore us, continued to run away far from us.

'Diego, what did you say to her?' Allison asked as we all walked back into the salon.

'I didn't do shit! She was talking to some lady outside an-'

'What lady?!' Five jumped up his seats and screamed.

'Five, when did you get he-'

He got closer, screamed at a louder voice as he got into my face. 'I said, what lady was talking to her?'

'White hair, overly dressed with a hat on her head-'

'Was she smoking?'

I rolled my eyes.' Dude if you would have let me finish talking, you coul-'

'Diego, shut up and just answer the damn question!' I knew Five was an ass but him screaming in my face did not make me want to help him at all.

'Yes! She was, damn.'

'What did The Handler tell her?'

The Handler? She was the crazy lady Five told us about when he came back from the future, said that he had worked for her. ‘I-I don’t know. By the time I walked outside, they were done talking.’

Five groaned, rolling his eyes and crossed his arms. 'Great, now it's going to take us forever to find Y/N before we make a plan on how to get the damn briefcase.'

'Surely, she's coming back right?' Klaus said, 'Or we can think of where she might of went to.'

'You sure you don’t know where she’s off to? It seemed like she was rushing somewhere.' Luther turned to me.

'Nope. All I know is that that woman talked her and she got upset. I asked her what's wrong but she didn't tell me anything.'

'Or you made her upset when she stormed out the alley in the first place.' Allison crossed her arms.

I looked over at her, shaking my head. 'Why would you think I made her upset?'

Vanya bit her lip, 'You know we can hear your conversation right? You two were sitting right there.'

'Okay, fine. I said something so stupid, you guys happy now?'

'You're probably the dumbest person ever. You had the girl for three years and yet you two are still basically roommates.' Klaus laughed.

I stared at my brother as he chuckled to himself, not to mention others were lightly laughing as well. It wasn't my fault that I was scared to try to act on my feelings.

'Can we just try to find her, please? I'm actually worried.'

'We should probably split up and look for her.' Luther suggested.

'No, I think I know where she is. Maybe.' There was a place she would go whenever she was upset, I noticed at night sometimes she would sneak out. Y/N probably thought I didn't know but occasionally I'd follow her to make sure she was alright.

If she wasn’t looking for anything that The Handler told her, surely she’d be at her favorite spot. At least I hope she was.

'Well, I'll go. Tell me where it is.' Allison hopped in.

Five stood next to Allison, 'Same here. If The Handler talked to Y/N, I need to know what she told her.'

'Oh, how nice of you to worry about her.' Klaus commented.

'No, I'm going to go look for her. You can come with but-'

'Diego, no offense but we don't know exactly why she's upset. It'll be better if you didn't come.' Allison bit her lip, I knew she meant well but not being able to help Y/N made me upset.

y/n pov;

Angrily I threw rocks into the river, watching it go straight down into the water without skipping.

'Mama, you're terrible at skipping rocks.'

Looking over at Bel, I laughed. 'Yeah I know. I was never good at it.'

Bel took some of the rocks on the ground, trying to mimic me. Just a thought of losing her made my stomach turn, nothing will make me ever lose her.

'I'm sorry you're up this late at night, I really missed you and wanted to pick you up from Sarah's.'

'It's okay, I'm not tired!' Bel smiled, still trying to skip rocks.

'Y/N!' Allison called my name from behind, walking towards me in a fast pace. ‘Diego said you’d be here. Are you okay?’

My sister sat next to me, hugging me from the side. ‘You had us worried, you know? Something about The Handler?’

‘Yeah, Five wouldn’t shut up about it. Told him not to come with because I know he’d be drowning you with questions.’ Klaus joined in, having a seat next to Bel as he mumbled and played with her.

‘I’m sorry, I was just really angry and I had to leave.’

‘Was it Diego? He always have some shit to say.’ Klaus joked.

‘Uncle Klaus, that’s a bad word!’ Belinda gasped, covering her mouth.

His eyebrows rose, ‘Don’t tell your dad. He would kill me if he found out I swore in front of you.’

Allison and I giggled in unison, watching how great Klaus was with my daughter. ‘So where’s Diego?’

‘We didn’t know if you were upset about the lady or the stupid thing Diego said to you. So we told him not to come with.’

‘Yeah he was pis-’ Klaus looked at Bel as he paused. ‘I mean, he was really really angry.’

‘Good, that’s what he gets.’ I huffed, still upset about what he said earlier.

Allison nudged me, trying to get my attention as she muttered lightly. ‘So which one is it?’

I whispered back to her, hoping Bel doesn’t hear me. ‘She wants my baby, Allison.’

Her expression fell, immediately grabbing onto my hand. I knew that Allison felt sympathy for me as she had a daughter of her own. ‘Why? What does she want with her?’

‘I don’t know but no one is taking her away from me.’ It had hurt me to hear what The Handler had said to me but saying it out loud made me feel worse. The fact that I had to even say such thing made me sad and angry.

‘You have us, you and Diego aren’t alone anymore.’ Allison smiled, ‘We’re going to protect her and do whatever it takes. I promise you, Y/N.’

[uriurijihoonie]

d-22

for a fair warning, this is a day6 imagine! hahaha (yes, I became a myday last 2019 so... that's all)

---------

When springtime comes, you will always be reminded of the bright sunshine, blooming flowers, and most especially him.

Him who was (literally and figuratively) a spring child.

Him who smiles as bright as the sunshine; a little blinding at times, but never fails to give warmth.

Him who radiates positivity, something akin to how flowers blossom with just his presence even from a meter distance.

hmm, a little bit... off with metaphors but who cares, anyway?

"Watcha writin'?" his warm presence suddenly invades the right side of your body, his face inches closer to yours as he peeks in your now closed notebook, thanks to your fast and alert reflexes.

"Shoo, go away, this wasn't meant for you to read," well, not today.

You can hear the smirk in his voice as he replied, "Okay, if you say so," and had the audacity to do so in a singsong voice, leading you to raised suspicions as you look at him accusingly while taking a seat in front of you.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" He chuckled, reaching over with his soft fingers to smoothen the creases on your forehead accompanied with the frown you're sporting.

"Piri, I swear--"

You were cut off when Wonpil suddenly laughed his all too familiar hiccupy laughs you adore, resisting the urge to laugh along with him even though nothing's really funny, to be honest.

You only sighed in defeat, keeping your journal inside your bag before finishing the bubble tea that has now lost its coolness. "Who among the four chirping birds told you?"

"Who do you think, Dowoon or Younghyun-hyung?"

"Dowoon," you answered in a beat, and when Wonpil raised his hands for a high-five, you reached for it as you roll your eyes, "I swear I can't trust him anymore."

"C'mon, Dowoonie didn't spill anything; just told me you have something for me," he once again sported the smile you just describe earlier, "But honestly, anything as long as it's from you, I already appreciate it."

Before you could react to one of his sudden cheesy lines, Wonpil reached for your tote bag for him to carry and his other hand to hold yours, "For now, let's get ourselves some sunshine, hmm?"

You just nod along while squeezing his hand in return, both of you exiting the coffee shop you've been in since it opened at 9AM, and it's already close to 4 in the afternoon.

perhaps these can wait, I guess. And that Dowoon will get an earful from me later for--

"Hey, we're on a date. Plot your gift for me later, you still have 22 days," Wonpil's whiny and pouty voice stopped your trail of thoughts as you elbowed his side, "Shut up or you'll never get it at all."

"Hey, that's unfair!" You just laughed to your big baby of a boyfriend and his antics, pulling you to the a side hug, "I'll stop, won't bother you anymore. I'll wait."

Him, like the spring breeze who makes the flowers flutter and fall, similar to my heart who have no thoughts of stopping to fall,

to fall in love with you.

hmm, a little cheesy but hey, this is a good one.

[theimaginesgalore]

Cigarette Daydreams - Prologue Rafe Cameron x OFC JJ Maybank x OFC Kooks x OFC Pouges x OFC

WARNINGS: This has some HEAVY smut. Exhibitionisms, dirty talk, daddy kink, slight reluctance. THIS SERIES IS NOT SOLELY PORN, BUT THIS PART IS A PRETTY MUCH PORN WITH VERY LITTLE PLOT.

Layne Reid was something else. At least that’s what JJ Maybank decided after he had started working for her father, Thomas, at the beginning of his sophomore year. He had been hired to do yard work, any sort of handy work needed done, and up keep the pool, boats, and vehicles. Thomas Reid was an extremely wealthy and busy business man so he hired JJ to do whatever he couldn’t do at his home, and he paid him well to do so. Layne was nearly a year older than him and she was a lot of things, and a horrible driver was one of them.

           If JJ had kept a tally of how many times he had fixed just one of Layne’s vehicles (which he did) in just the eight months he worked for the Reid’s, it would be in the dozens. Layne had two cars, yes two. One was a 2019 Audi A7 and there was never a problem with that thing, JJ felt like she just had that car just to show how fucking spoiled she was, which maybe she did honestly. Her second car was a vehicle she had begged and begged for, it was a 1968 Mercury Comet, Convertible of course. That car had costed Thomas a pretty penny, and continued to cost him more and more money. It was a perfect car, and JJ was incredibly jealous of the girl for having such a beautiful car, Layne was just a bad driver and hardly ever kept up with the maintenance of it. If there was one moment JJ could pinpoint that he actually fell for her though, it would be because of that damn car. 

           The only problem in this love story, aside from her being a Kook and him being a Pouge, you ask? Rafe Cameron. Rafe had been Layne’s boyfriend for nearly two years, and she was crazy about him. JJ never was able to understand, the two were just such opposites. Layne was soft, kind, intelligent. Rafe was hard, mean, and cruel.

           Rafe had a girl that everyone wanted, literally everyone, and he loved it. He loved knowing all his friends wanted her, all the filthy Pouges wanted her, fuck even his own sister, who was Layne’s best friend and had a boyfriend, wanted her. But that wasn’t all that Rafe loved. He genuinely loved Layne, she had been with him for everything the past two years, he just had bad qualities that got the best of him sometimes.

           He knew that fucking Pouge was there, doing whatever it was that Layne’s dad needed done that day. Rafe hated that Thomas had invited him so trustingly into his girlfriends home, and that he was allowed alone in there with Layne while he was wherever he was doing business and her mother, Claire, just left to go spend money and plan events with Rafe’s own stepmother, Rose. So, in Rafe decided to spend the afternoon with his girlfriend, but knowing the Pouge was there only fueled him to stick his hand in her panties, while sitting in the middle of her living room. You could say he was a slight exhibitionist. In all honesty, he loved fucking Layne, but knowing people who liked Layne are around?

           “R-Rafe, JJ is here some-somewhere. Ah-“ A moan caught in her throat when he bit down on her neck and plunged two fingers inside her soft cunt at the same time. She was straddling him, blonde and pink hair a mess, tank top pulled down under her breasts, and panties and shorts damp with her arousal as her boyfriend roughly assaulted her body.

Rafe growled and grabbed her hair yanking her head back, shoving his fingers even deeper inside her. “God you are such a fucking slut, saying his name while I’ve got you like this.” He cut himself off and started rubbing his thumb against her clit while he continued to roughly finger her, he thought maybe he should lay off a little, he knew he was hurting her, but hearing her same his name in the breathy and horny way she did had him pissed. He roughly kissed her breast before biting her nipples harshly.

Layne let out a high pitched moan, followed by a gasp in slight pain. She cursed herself for being loud. JJ was at her house working today, she wasn’t sure what her dad had him doing either, he could be anywhere. “C’mon slut, talk to daddy.” That statement alone almost brought her to orgasm, well that, his fingers working themselves in and out of her at the brutal pace they were going, and his thumb not easing up on her clit.

“Rafe-“ He roughly yanked her hair again, feeling her clench around his fingers. “What’s my name, whore?” She gulped. “D-daddy, he could come in at any second.” Rafe had gotten even harder and the thought of JJ Maybank walking in on him fucking his girl. He roughly pulled his fingers out of her and shoved her off of the couch and onto her knees.

Layne winced slightly at his roughness, lately he had been even roughed than she was used too. She watched as he pulled his shorts and underwear off, and he quickly grabbed her face before pulling her into a searing kiss. The kiss was short lived, and before she could even catch her breath Rafe had her mouth on his cock and began pushing her head down as far as he knew should go.

JJ had heard Layne moaning, and he had gotten turned on slightly, but he knew he should’ve left. But how could he leave when her dad had left him such a long list of things to get done before he got back Monday, and it was Saturday.

He knew what Rafe was doing. Rafe wanted to make him jealous and this wasn’t the first time, but this was the first time he was doing it so openly where JJ could have to see. Finally JJ decided that he was just going to leave and work extra tomorrow to get everything done for Thomas. He had quickly put everything back in its place before going to leave quietly, but he immediately caught eyes with the groaning mess of Rafe Cameron with his hands roughly on head of the pretty girl crouched between his legs.

Rafe smirked wickedly at JJ. He knew the Pouge would keep watching, so he only got rougher and dirtier with Layne. He tightened his grip on her hair and started roughly fucking her face while keeping his stare on JJ for a moment.

“You like that don’t you, you pretty slut. You like daddy fucking your face right here in the living room knowing that dirty Pouge could walk in at any second.” He looked away from JJ and pulled Layne’s mouth off of him, quickly pulling her back on top of him and roughly sliding into her.

Layne groaned at the rough feeling. Her pussy was sensitive and immediately clenched around him as he fucked himself into him, feeling her high start to build back up.

JJ couldn’t breathe, he imagined Rafe just got ridiculously great head and his own cock was so hard it hurt. He watched Layne’s ass bounced against Rafe’s thighs, and felt his eyes glued to the spot where Layne and Rafe were linked, watching as her went pussy took him in over and over again. He wondered if he looked close enough if he could see the girl clench around him.

Rafe didn’t let up, he fucked her and he fucked her good and rough and at a brutal pace. He felt her begin to clench around him and stifled a groan, feeling his balls tighten up and he knew he was going to come cum quickly.

“You want daddy’s cum you whore? Huh you want to take daddy’s cum like a good whore who knows her place? My pretty cum slut.” Layne gasped at his vulgar words and closed her eyes as he hit her spot over and over again roughly, clenching around him she finally came.

Rafe’s eyes rolled feeling her clench around him, but he wasn’t done yet. Quickly pulling her off of him, shoving her to where she was clinging to the back of the couch and he smirked at JJ before shoving himself back into Layne and wrapping his arm around her to rub her clit while fucking her. “No-no I can’t” and Rafe quickly pinched her clit “Yes you can slut, you want him to hear you, I know you do.”

Layne felt her eyes roll back, it was too much, the sensitivity from her orgasm, the feeling of him filling her at a new angle, the feeling of his fingers on her clit. She was gasping for air at this point, another orgasm quickly approaching.

Rafe smirked feeling her clench around him again and quickened his pace, “No no slut. You do NOT get to cum again.” and with that he stilled inside her, releasing his orgasm into her and holding her hips in place as he felt his body twitch and her pussy spasm around him.

He pulled out of her and turned his head to glare at JJ, but saw he was already gone. He smirked and thought “good” to himself before turning back to his mess of a girlfriend. He saw his orgasm already leaking out of her and quickly put two fingers back inside her, curling them before pulling them out. Using his other hand he quickly turned her around and shoved his fingers into her mouth, having her clean their releases off of them.

A/N: PLEASE give me some feedback! this is my first imagine/series! any and all feedback is accepted and appreciated!

I am open to requests!

[thecloserkin]

Doom (2005) fic roundup

I have now recommended this action/sci-fi/horror film based on a bestselling video game franchise to not one not two but three friends and I am happy to report they all concur, cinema Peaked in 2005, this is the best movie ever made. I watched it for the first time on @shipcestuous‘s recommendation: She has an extremely thorough breakdown here, and the pitch of her enthusiasm and the penetration of her analysis are without peer. Honestly I can’t think of a single reason not to watch this movie. Watch it for Rosamund Pike. Watch it for Karl Urban. Watch it to marvel at how much Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s acting chops have improved in the past 15 years. I have now seen this cinematic masterpiece three (3) times and I have zero (0) regrets. There is a sequel out, Doom: Annihilation (2019) but it’s not worth your time. Recently I went through the John Grimm/Samantha Grimm tag on ao3 and read every single fic, most of them for the second or third time, and I had a fucking blast. Friends, if any of you would like to experience this cinematic masterpiece for yourselves please please PLEASE message me and i’ll send you the link to dl it.

Doom (2005, dir. Andrzej Bartkowiak) is about a squad of Marines dispatched to contain a zombie outbreak in a secure scientific facility on Mars. There is no earthly reason for it to be set on Mars btw so I just chalk this decision up to video game continuity (same with the first-person-shooter sequence in the third act, which is five minutes long and it was the longest five minutes of my life). What’s impressive about this film is it somehow manages not to glorify (1) the military or (2) the scientific establishment. It’s a film stuffed to the gills with dudebros (outside of Rosamund Pike they’re all dudebros) yet to my eternal delight the humor actually landed, and I think the anarchist bent of the narrative is a big part of why (anarchist as in hella skeptical of authority). I don’t think it’s giving too much away to say this is another “we tried to cure cancer, accidentally unleashed the zombie apocalypse” setup. What’s surprising is that the protagonists are failed by science, as an institution. Our protagonists are one of the Marines (Karl Urban) and his estranged twin sister (Rosamund Pike), who is an archaeologist at the quarantined facility. The chemistry between these two is instantly and unmistakably through the fucking roof. The first time they appear in the same frame the other Marines mistake her for his ex, and it just gets better from there. Every time I watch it, the final frame of this film has me flailing and screeching. I still can’t believe we got a mainstream movie that was this good to us—horror movies in general have a track record of being good to us ‘cest shippers, but this is on another level.

cold hearts, thawing by merely (3k) They’re on the run and they get FAKE MARRIED!!! My god the amount of characterization smuggled into this—Jon and Sam getting hot for each other’s respective areas of competence is my entire kink. It’s not predominantly humorous in tone but the humor slaps in the best way. This is my forever favorite because it was written by one of the friends I got into the movie, so tailor-made for meeee ❤

Before, During, After by anr (1k) If you plotted the arc of their lives it would be a circle. Something about the spareness of the prose & the amount of stuff occurring in the interstices really stayed with me. I realized later it’s because I’d read another of the author’s fics from a diff fandom—it’s in the same mode, love to see it when authors just nail that one register.

DOOMED by chase_acow (1k) ”I thought you said your microbiology was rusty!" "You know I like it when you give me the bottom line.” Lmaooo. In case you haven’t noticed this fandom consists almost entirely of post-canon getting (back) together fic.

Normal by mneiai (<1k) Shut the front door did somebody say pre-canon getting-together fic??! Of course we all know 90% of the reason John enlisted was to flee his feelings for Sam right.

Glimpses of Clarity by izzyb (1.5k) John and Sam have rough sex and it’s completely consensual, but still scary. Part of working through trauma is recognizing that removing oneself from the traumatic situation does not, in itself, dispel the trauma. John has this inability to relinquish control, or abate his vigilance—except, apparently, when he’s fucking Sam hahaha.

Written in the Scars (of our hearts) by Mercury32 (21k, unfinished) I don’t read a lot of soulmark AUs so idk if this is common but it turns out John and Sam are not soulmates??? He gets his tattoo covered up because he’s only ever wanted Sam. They’re on the run because there’s a nationwide manhunt on and they take refuge in their grandpa’s cabin in the woods and along the way they meet Jon’s actual soulmate but he chooses Sam. He will always choose Sam until the day they put him in the ground. The conversation where they explained to their ex-CIA grandfather how they were going undercover as newlyweds is unadulterated gold.

No Heroics by amathela (3k) They go back to their jobs. They try to keep John’s newfound abilities under wraps so as not to turn him into a target or a military guinea pig. The stakes are high but it’s so …. whimsical? And domestic? It’s so good ahhhhh I love it when they’re trying to hide something other than the incest. “He never was able to win an argument against her.” “She rolls her eyes. ‘Not all of us are as pretty as you.’”

He a Tiger Will Be Who Drinks of Me by Brenda (3k) This story is packing some serious mythological and folkloric resonances. I was going to label it post-canon but half of it is pre-canon. When you frame their relationship as Ares and Aphrodite, Selene and Endymion, it does seem inevitable doesn’t it? All roads lead to you.

Need You Tonight by Mercury32 (2.5k) Hot damn it’s a pwp that’s kicked off by Sam having nightmares, and is all about how Sam trusts John implicitly. I still think about the way Rosamund Pike delivers that line in the movie, I know you, like, on a weekly basis. “You've ruined me for other men and I'll probably be walking uncomfortably tomorrow, but no, you didn't hurt me.”

And I Know What You’re Thinking by amathela (1k) Sam loses a lot of blood and John donates his. Course, now that John is a genetically modified superhuman this creates a psychic bond between them. Nobody does dialogue like amathela does, it’s like you can hear the words behind the words the characters are saying.

Homecoming by amathela (1k) Not as playful as her work usually is but still lovely and understated.

Ephelides by Rahmi (1k) Sam gives John anatomy lessons and it’s sexy as haaaaale. "Just because I'm about to give you a handjob doesn't mean I'm not still your sister.” "Your intelligence reflects on me. And you're my brother. Therefore, you're intelligent."

The Edge of DOOM by chase_acow (1.7k) I don’t know what’s going on but the apocalypse is here and Sam and John are shooting things.

If You Don’t Know Me by Now by Mercury32 (4k) Sam and John rifle through his unsent letters and it isn’t 100% full-blown epistolary but we still get a firm idea of what they were up to for those ten years apart. Ok but CONSIDER: what if they sent each other birthday postcards. Imagine!! This line in particular cracked me up: “Congratulations, you finally got your wish of being an only child.”

desert ghosts by river_soul (1k) They’re not “almost home” because they’re together therefore already home asdfkdjfkdjfd. Gorgeously wrought.

You Hit Me Once (kiss with a fist) by aohatsu (3k) I could read pre-canon John/Sam fics at a rate of 100k a day probs. God these kids are so lonely and nobody else understands. John getting into schoolyard brawls to defend Sam’s honor? Habitual bedsharing???!

I Wanna Kiss You (but i want it too much) by Mercury32 (<1k) It’s not a missing moment from canon, exactly—it’s a replay of the scene where the squad meets Sam, only the camera is firmly situated inside John’s head this time. “His fingers are twitching with the need to hold her, to see if the curve of her hip still fits into the palm of his hand, if her forehead still tucks perfectly into his neck. Like a jigsaw puzzle, she'd observed once, made to fit together.”

No Relation by aj2245 (<400 words) I mean the “surprise! they’re not related” reveal came outta nowhere but it was worth it just for this line: “Life on Mars is fragile. The three coffins waiting in the Ark anti-chamber speak to that. One little mistake and she's lost everything. She's lost John, it's just on time delay.”

In the Blood and the Bone by kyrene (10k) Pwp where John and Sam try to get pregnant. It wasn’t my thing but it’s the top-bookmarked fic in the tag, so other people must’ve liked it, and I always try to assume other people are acting rationally so there must be something this fic does well that I’m missing because I don’t care about that facet that much.

**This is not an exhaustive list of John/Sam fics, just a list of the ones I had anything coherent to say about. I do not think there is a single bad fic in the tag and they’re all bite-sized and bingeable!

[queenwinry]

In the Line of Fire-Part 2

Pairing: Royai

Rating: K+

Words: 3088

Summary: Part 2 of this oneshot I posted not too long ago. Riza comes home from the hospital on New Years Eve

A/N: Happy almost 2020 everyone! This has been a pretty decent year for me and I know 2020 is going to be crazy so I wanted to leave everyone with one last little Royai ditty (and it still is 2019 here so I count this as my last fic writing of the year!) I hope you have all had good 2019′s and that your 2020 will be fantastic! 

---

“There you are, Lieutenant. You look as though you were never even in the hospital,” a cheerful Nurse Alicia said as she helped Riza pull on the last of her civilian clothes Havoc had brought in a duffle bag a few days ago, in anticipation of this very moment.

Riza smiled gratefully at her favorite nurse (who had pulled some strings to be transferred up temporarily to work Riza’s floor, if only to boss around her teammates some more) before she managed to turn with only a slight twinge of pain. “The bandages and wheelchair would suggest otherwise, but I appreciate you helping me get dressed. I didn’t realize I would miss wearing actual clothes.”

Alicia stood to her full height to admire her handywork. “Yeah, I hear that a lot. Anything is better than hospital gowns...or those godawful blue uniforms.”

Riza smiled further at that comment. Before she could say anything else, the door opened and a few familiar faces greeted her, led by a certain dark-haired colonel, who was already flashing his ‘lady-killer’ smile the minute he saw the nurse by Riza’s bedside. “The car is ready and waiting downstairs, Lieutenant.” Placing his hands in the pockets of his black overcoat, the colonel rounded the bed to where Riza was sitting up in a nearby chair. “Will you be sad to see us go, Alicia?” he asked cheekily.

Being one of the very few women immune to the handsome colonel’s charming smile and voice, Alicia placed a hand on her hip and narrowed her eyes. “I’ll be sad to see the Lieutenant go. Good riddance to the rest of you. You men have been a thorn in my side for the last few weeks.”

From behind where the colonel stood, Havoc spoke, “Damn, has it really been that long?”

“Feels longer to me,” Riza said in a quiet tone as she thought back on her time in the hospital. She had hoped to be home, or at the very least in some kind of rehab facility, weeks ago, but her course had been complicated by a bad case of postoperative fever that had only extended her stay. She was incredibly thankful to finally be cleared for discharge, especially given what day it was.

Alicia turned back toward her and gave Riza a gentle smile. “Well, good thing you’re on your way out. And just in time for the new year too. Any fun resolutions?”

“Get shot less,” Riza replied, in an uncharacteristically sarcastic tone. She heard Mustang’s low chuckle as he moved behind the waiting wheelchair and grasped the two handles.

“A resolution I can get behind,” he commented before turning back to the nurse. “Is she all set to go?”

Alicia nodded happily. “Pretty much. Let’s just get you over into this chair, Lieutenant. Yes...just like that. Nice and slow...there you go. Now, let me go grab the paperwork and you’ll be on your way out.”

“Thank you, Alicia. Thank you for...everything,” Riza spoke gratefully once she had settled herself gently onto the wheelchair.

Alicia winked at her. “No problem, sweetie. It’s been a pleasure helping you get better,” she spoke meaningfully before she made her way out the door.

None of the remaining occupants in the room had even a moment to blink before a blur of a human rushed through the door the nurse had just closed. All eyes widened as the figure stopped suddenly, their breathing hard and fast and their face contorted in a mixture of worry and fear.

“R-Rebecca!?” Riza let out with a small gasp as her frazzled friend rushed to where she sat.

“Riza!” Rebecca Catalina shouted desperately as she kneeled in front of the chair and began inspecting her friend’s body as best she could. “Jesus Christ, are you ok!?” she exclaimed. She didn’t even let out a breath before her forehead furrowed and her eyes flashed. She stood to her full height and pointed an accusing at the colonel.

“You! You bastard colonel, how dare you not try and contact me sooner. Here I was, away for a few weeks on a training mission, only to come back and have General Grumman of all people tell me that my best friend was shot!”

Riza looked mortified to hear her friend’s blatant insubordination, but Mustang appeared almost bored, as if he was used to the other lieutenant’s outbursts. “Excuse me for letting it slip my mind. We all had other things to think about.”

Rebecca’s hands went to her hips, not at all happy with the colonel’s explanation. “This happened weeks ago. You really mean to tell me you were all so busy during that time that no one even thought to contact Riza’s best friend? It wasn’t like I was in Briggs, for Christ’s sake!”

“Rebecca,” Riza began in an appeasing tone. “I’m sorry you had to find out this way, but it’s alright now. I’m getting better and better by the day. I was just about to leave the hospital before you got here.”

Lieutenant Catalina huffed. “I know. General Grumman told me that too, which means if he knows all the updates then Mustang should’ve taken the time to give them to me too.”

Before Riza could say anything else Rebecca and the colonel entered into a heated staring match the likes of which had never been seen before. The recuperating lieutenant could merely sigh and let them go on, knowing she wouldn’t be able to stop either one of them before Alicia reappeared.

“Yeesh, what’s all this shouting I hear? Today’s a happy day. It’s New Years Eve, the lieutenant is leaving the hospital, I don’t have to deal with all you worried men anymore and I...oh...great, there’s more of you?” she asked with a small groan once her eyes found those of Lieutenant Catalina.

Rebecca lifted an eyebrow at the tone of the nurse’s voice and crossed her arms indignantly. “Hey, don’t lump me in with this crazy lot. I’m only here for Riza.”

Alicia weighed that response for a moment before she merely rolled her eyes. “Right. Well, anyway, here’s all your paperwork, Lieutenant. You’re free to go now, but I better not be seeing you around here for a while. Same goes for the rest of your team.” Her eyes flashed warningly toward everyone in the room but Riza before she gave one last smile and led them out.

Rebecca said nothing as they all walked together, the colonel pushing Riza’s wheelchair down the hall, but the lieutenant could sense the steam practically pouring from her friend’s ears. Truthfully, she herself had thought about making sure someone notified her, but with the hecticness of the last few weeks it had always slipped her mind before she could do anything about it.

And honestly she could understand why Mustang hadn’t called Rebecca himself. She could only imagine how that phone call would’ve gone.

They finally got outside to where the colonel’s car was parked and Riza took a minute to inhale the chill, late December air. She hadn’t been outside since she was shot and it felt incredibly refreshing to be out of the stale atmosphere of the hospital.

It took a bit of time, maneuvering, and flashes of pain on Riza’s part, but eventually they loaded her into the front of the car. Alicia said one last goodbye before she turned and walked back into the hospital, claiming she still had plenty of ‘lives to save’. Mustang was about to walk around to the other side of the car as Havoc got into the back before Rebecca stopped him.

“And just where are you planning on taking her now?” she asked in an accusatory tone. The passenger side window was rolled down so they could both hear Riza’s exhausted sigh.

“To her home,” the colonel answered simply, daring Rebecca to question him further.

A foolish move, it seemed, as the brunette lieutenant immediately shook her head. “And just who’s going to be playing nurse? She was just in the hospital after being shot, she needs someone to take care of her. Don’t give me that look, Riza, you can hardly sit up straight.”

Despite the many protests she wanted to voice, Riza wisely kept her mouth shut.

“Everyone on my team, myself included, has agreed to help the lieutenant out. We were already planning on doing most of the cooking and the cleaning,” Mustang spoke in an exasperated tone.

“Yeah? And who’s going to help her shower or go to the bathroom? If you still think that’s going to be you or your team then we need to have a very different conversation.”

Riza let out another sigh.

“Catalina, if this is your request to join us, no one is stopping you,” Mustang pointed out.

“Well, obviously I’m going to join you, but Riza’s apartment is tiny and the heater hardly ever works. You’re going to stuff her and the rest of us in an area that small? Plus, it’s New Years Eve! I can think of much better places to spend it, no offense Riza.”

The lieutenant responded by simply rubbing her temples, not in the mood to even attempt to stop her friend’s antics.

The colonel’s eyes narrowed. “And just what alternative did you have in mind?”

Here, they all watched in dread as Rebecca’s face became sly.

“Well, you make the big bucks don’t you? Surely someone at the rank of colonel has a few spare rooms.”

At this, Riza’s eyes widened and she spoke from her place inside the car. “Rebecca! You can’t just volunteer us all to stay at a superior’s home.”

“Why not? Superiors are the ones with the big houses. Plus, the colonel has always struck me as the kind of man to have a few bottles of some nice champagne lying around. We can make the most of our New Years, though we’ll have to get something nonalcoholic for you, Riza, since you’re still on meds.”

“Rebecca!” the lieutenant exclaimed, unable to stop her ambitious best friend from more of her plotting. She had to wonder if this whole line of thinking was just some way to get back at Mustang for not telling her what happened earlier. She certainly wouldn’t put it past her.

The colonel sighed. “Lieutenant Catalina, I will not host a New Years Eve party at my house,” he said resolutely as Rebecca crossed her arms and tried not to pout. “However,” he added in a put upon voice that made everyone pause. “As much as it pains me to admit, you might have a point about Hawkeye’s apartment. It is awfully small, and with you helping out, it would get pretty crowded.”

Riza looked at him with disbelief from her spot in the car and he gave her a placating glance. “My place has always had more space than I know what to do with. I don’t get the opportunity to host that often. I’m sure you’d be more comfortable there with the team for a few days while you adjust, then maybe you and Rebecca can go back to your home.”

“Are you actually agreeing with her, sir?”

Mustang heaved a long sigh. “I suppose I am.”

“Ha! Maybe you’re not always that clueless, Colonel,” Rebecca goaded in victory, causing Riza to shoot her another admonishing glare, which she of course ignored.

Happily appeased, Rebecca walked around to the other side of the car and slid into the backseat next to Havoc (without asking, of course), as the colonel got behind the wheel. Riza shot him a look while he turned the key in the ignition.

“Following along with her antics only encourages her, Sir,” she spoke in a quiet voice as Rebecca started berating Havoc for also not bothering to share the news with her.

Mustang sighed. “I don’t think I had a choice. I probably should have notified her sooner, so I guess this is my way of seeking some kind of peace.”

“I hate to be the one to say it, but you might be doing so in vain. Besides, do you actually have bottles of fine champagne lying around your house?”

The colonel couldn’t help the lopsided smile at that question. “Does whiskey count?”

Riza’s glare became even more pointed. “It does not.”

---

Later that night, Riza watched as her friends and coworkers joyfully waited as the clock counted down to the new year. She supposed they were all lucky they hadn’t managed to get too intoxicated, only running off whatever minimal alcohol the colonel did have in his shockingly tidy and spacious townhome. They had spent the evening laughing, conversing, and playing a few rather heated rounds of chess (that either the Colonel or Breda always won). Despite her initial trepidation, she was feeling rather content with the sudden change of plans.

Their team had truthfully gotten even closer after what happened to her, the shooting serving as a wake-up call, reminding them all of their mortality. Riza was grateful she didn’t have to recover from such a traumatic event (both physically and mentally) by herself, though she wasn’t quite sure she was ready for Rebecca to help her bathe.

Riza’s attention was drawn away from her inner thoughts when a glass of amber liquid was placed in front of her. She was about to give whoever was trying to serve her alcohol a look that would kill when she noticed the colonel’s satisfied grin as he sat opposite of where she’d stationed herself at the table. He had a matching glass of an amber-colored drink, though his was a slightly different shade.

“It’s apple juice,” he commented, reading her thoughts perfectly.

Her annoyed look fell and she tried to not shake her head at him. He lifted his glass and she did the same, before they clinked them both together.

“Happy New Year, Lieutenant.”

“The same to you, sir,” she replied, raising the glass to her lips and taking a dainty sip of the juice like it really was champagne.

She watched as Roy’s eyes drifted over to Rebecca and the rest of the team. “It doesn’t look like it will be much longer before those hooligans go off to bed.

Riza smiled softly. “To be fair, they didn’t get quite as bad as I imagined.”

The colonel made a noise of agreement. “Mm, I guess I should thank my unusually small supply of liquor for that.”

“Have you been drinking more of it lately, sir?” The pointed question caused Roy’s grin to fall slightly, as he lowered his eyes.

“Can’t lie to you, can I?”

When his eyes eventually met hers, she was surprised at the emotion she saw behind them. “Sir,” she spoke softly with only a hint of admonishment behind the word.

“Regardless of what you say, it’s difficult for me not to blame myself for what happened. Those first few nights of your hospital stay were the hardest.”

“Colonel, you can’t make me promise to not be so reckless when you go and do things like that.”

Mustang sighed. “I know, Lieutenant. But I tend to be rather selfish.”

His eyes darkened and the sounds of the others began to fade away as she again picked up on his hidden meaning. They had been doing a lot of this silent communication lately, and it had nothing to do with some secret mission or military agenda. It was becoming exhausting.

They lapsed into silence after that as the others scoped out places to lay their heads for the night, the fresh beginnings of the new year quickly losing their draw. Riza attempted to smother a yawn, which apparently was the colonel’s cue.

He pushed back his glass and stood to his feet. “Come on, I’ll help you up the stairs. I made sure to keep the others out of the guest bedroom. Not even Catalina will bother you unless you need something.”

“Sir, you don’t need to roll out the red carpet for me. If others need a place to sleep, I don’t mind sharing. I feel bad taking up so much room.” While she protested, his strong arms came to grasp the back of her own as he helped her gingerly stand. She was sore, but thankfully still able to move around.

“Please, Lieutenant. It’d be inappropriate for the men to share with you and Catalina would probably wind up kicking you in her sleep. There’s plenty of room. I’m pretty sure no one’s stepped foot inside the guest bedroom since I moved.”

She wanted to object more, but his logic was actually quite sound. She had shared a bed with Rebecca before and it had not been a pleasant experience in the slightest.

She stayed quiet as she let the colonel slowly walk her up the stairs. It took some time, but eventually they were able to make it. As her superior showed her around her temporary room, she thanked him again for offering up his home for everyone, which he of course waved away as no big task.

“Happy New Year again, Lieutenant. You better not be lying about that resolution to get shot less. I don’t think any of us could handle another extended hospital stay.” His tone was lighthearted, but she could feel the concern still dripping off his words. She knew what had happened had taken its toll on all of them, but her original purpose was still true.

“I’ll do my best, but I’d go through this all again to protect every one of my teammates.”

Mustang let out a huff of air and shook his head, but still smiled nonetheless. “You really do have trouble following orders, don’t you?”

His smile was contagious and she couldn’t help but join in. “I’m as stubborn as my commanding officer, I’m afraid.”

His laugh was soft and familiar. “No kidding. Sleep well, Lieutenant,” he said with one last grin before he left the room and closed the door behind him.

“You too, sir,” she whispered into the dark room. She moved the sheets around and attempted to get comfortable in the foreign bed.

It wasn’t exactly the most picture perfect way to end the year, but she was still eternally grateful for the people in her life who made it better. She didn’t have many lofty resolutions, but she knew protecting and fighting alongside her superior and her teammates was at the top of the list.

And getting shot less. That was a good one too.

[ba-mi-soro-orisha]

What books are on your nightstand?

“All the Stars and Teeth,” by Adalyn Grace; “Ninth House,” by Leigh Bardugo; “The Last Arrow,” by Erwin Raphael McManus. I always have an itch for great fantasy, which Grace and Bardugo provide. And I’m always interested in self-development and books that feed my soul like “The Last Arrow.”

What’s the last great book you read?

“Daring Greatly,” by Brené Brown! I was really moved by her Netflix special, and listening to her audiobook came at the perfect time in my life. She has a way of perfectly describing some of the most intimate human emotions and experiences, and she provides concrete, actionable solutions. She gave me a new level of self-awareness that’s helped me navigate my life in a meaningful way, so I’m a big fan.

Are there any classic novels that you only recently read for the first time?

Recently, no. The vast majority of American classics were ruined for me because schools made me read them too young. If I remember correctly, I think I had to read “Self-Reliance,” by Ralph Waldo Emerson, in seventh grade. I remember reading “Death of a Salesman” in high school and hating it, but when I read it in college I loved it. I was blown away by what Arthur Miller had created. Because of that, I’m saving my reread of the classics for a time when life isn’t too crazy and I can focus. I want to make sure if I don’t like what society has deemed a classic story, it’s because I don’t like the actual story, and not because I didn’t understand it when I was 12.

Describe your ideal reading experience (when, where, what, how).

My ideal reading experience is on the beach, under an umbrella, with my Kindle, and with a tasty drink and snack by my side.

What’s your favorite book no one else has heard of?

I don’t think I have one? I’m a pretty basic person. I’m not even cool enough to like niche anime. Everything I gravitate to is pretty well known because they are such amazing stories.

If I had to pick one, I’d say most of my younger readers probably aren’t familiar with “The Souls of Black Folk,” by W. E. B. DuBois, and most of my older readers probably aren’t familiar with “Six of Crows,” by Leigh Bardugo.

What book should everybody read before the age of 21?

“The Poet X,” by Elizabeth Acevedo. It’s a stunning story told in verse about a young Dominican poet learning to use her voice and take up space. I think as we grow up and start to discover who we are, we also have to discover what we want to say. Then we have to get comfortable saying it. I think this is the kind of story that makes you feel strong when you’re reading it, and then you can lean on that strength when you need to use your voice and take up space in your real life.

Which writers — novelists, playwrights, critics, journalists, poets — working today do you admire most?

For novelists, I’m a forever-fan of Sabaa Tahir. Her debut fantasy — “An Ember in the Ashes” — was the epic tale that inspired me to write “Children of Blood and Bone.” It moved me in ways a story hadn’t moved me before and gave me a chance to imagine a fantasy world with characters I’d never gotten to see before.

For journalists, Shaun King. The work Shaun does for the black community is incredible. I respect his strength, tenacity and passion, and I admire him deeply for the commitment to getting our stories out.

For critics, I think YouTubers like Cosmonaut Variety Hour and Alex Meyers? I get a lot of entertainment from their television and movie reviews, and also get refreshers on good storytelling.

What writers are especially good on adolescent life?

Angie Thomas, Nic Stone and Jason Reynolds!

How do you distinguish Y.A. books from adult fiction?

Honestly, the main difference to me is how quickly I’m captured and transported into the story. I find the best young adult novels have all the best parts of adult fiction — the extensive world-building, the complex characters, the beautiful prose — layered over a fast-paced, exciting plot. Most of the adult fiction I read takes its time building to the climax.

Which young adult books would you recommend to people who don’t usually read Y.A.?

I always recommend “An Ember in the Ashes” and “Six of Crows” after one of my readers has finished “Children of Blood and Bone.” I find those three fantasies crossover really well and help hook people into reading other young adult books.

What’s the most interesting thing you learned from a book recently?

That you’re not supposed to fight your anxiety, you’re supposed to fight the things that are causing your anxiety by setting better boundaries for yourself and for others. That’s one of the golden nuggets in “Daring Greatly.”

Which genres do you especially enjoy reading? And which do you avoid?

I love a good romance! I’m always game for young adult fantasy and sci-fi. I want to read more adult books, contemporary books and poetry. And sadly, I avoid nonfiction. When I read, I like to go somewhere else in my mind with stories that touch our real world without taking place in it.

What makes for a good fantasy novel?

I think the most magical fantasies will always be the ones with a world you want to live in forever. For example, I think we loved Harry Potter, but we were in love with Hogwarts. We all wanted to go to class with him. We all wanted our own wands. I think great worlds are important because they allow readers to play in that world with their imagination long after the book is done, but a great world isn’t complete without a great protagonist.

What moves you most in a work of literature?

Acts of love. Be it familial, friendly or romantic. A beautifully described, tender act of love destroys me.

How do you organize your books?

ORIGINAL STORIES: I have a lot of the stories I wrote when I was young on my Kindle — they are hilarious and incredible and always funny to read.

BOOKS ON WRITING: I always want to be a better writer/storyteller than I am now. I love books and YouTube videos that break down the art of story.

FICTION: Most of my library is Y.A., so this is where my “I’m an adult” fiction goes.

SCI-FI: Though I’m a child of fantasy, my interest in the stars and spaceships is growing.

FANTASY: Includes all the great franchises of the past and all the exciting, diverse stories that are being published today.

Who is your favorite fictional hero or heroine? Your favorite antihero or villain?

Antiheroes: Zuko, from “Avatar: The Last Airbender”; Logan, from “X-Men”; Kaz Brekker, from “Six of Crows.” Villains: Light Yagami, from “Death Note,” and Magneto, from “X-Men.” I guess my Slytherin is showing, because I love my antiheroes and my villains more than my heroes.

What kind of reader were you as a child? Which childhood books and authors stick with you most?

I was a voracious reader when I was young. I lived for the summer reading challenges where I could read 50 books and get like three Airheads at the end of August. The authors and books that worked themselves into my heart were Mary Pope Osborne and her Magic Tree House series, J. K. Rowling and Harry Potter, Masashi Kishimoto and “Naruto.” I consider myself a creative child of fantasy and anime.

How have your reading tastes changed over time?

My Kindle is loaded up with several of the stories I wrote as a girl and as a teenager. It’s wild reading them now because I vaguely remember the nights and weekends I stayed up writing these tales, and I see the plots and character types that I’ve loved reading about and imagining since I was young.

I’ve always loved sweeping romances and magical fantasies. I’ve loved headstrong, determined female protagonists and epic battles. I still like to read the same things. I think the difference now is that I get to read all the things I like with characters who look like me. My childhood stories didn’t give me that. Even in the stories I wrote myself, I was only writing white characters and biracial characters. I didn’t realize it at the time, but that erasure was painful and damaging to my sense of self. So getting to create and read stories that fight that erasure and build on my sense of self is the only significant change in my reading tastes.

You’re organizing a literary dinner party. Which three writers, dead or alive, do you invite?

Oprah Winfrey, Octavia E. Butler and Toni Morrison. I would be extremely uncomfortable in the midst of all that greatness, and I probably wouldn’t speak. But while stuffing my face with little lobster rolls, I would get to learn from and be inspired by those three incredible women.

Whom would you want to write your life story?

Honestly, me, because I’m a perfectionist. But I don’t think I’m the best person to write my story because while I have a unique take on my story, I also lack a lot of necessary perspectives that would be needed to write an accurate life story. I’m going to cheat this one and say I would like Shonda Rhimes to do a highly dramatized mini-series of my life story.

What do you plan to read next?

“Blood Heir,” by Amélie Wen Zhao. I’ve heard really great things. I’m excited to check it out!

[sunsabered]

𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐘 𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑!! 𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐘 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟎!! I hope that all of you find their way into the new year safely! It’s been quite literally two months now since I finally gave in to an ever growing muse and finally made Rey and what can I say? I haven’t regretted it once and along the way made so many wonderful friends that I will forever be grateful! Either way, 2019 has had rough patches for me and so many people around. I genuinely hope that everyone will have the most wonderful, inspiring and happiness-filled 2020!! You all deserve it; all the happiness and love. May whatever you hope to achieve be something you’ll achieve this year! You made it through 2019 and that alone is a reason to be proud!!

@redsabered ;; You are one of those people anyone would be lucky to have around. You breathe life into Ben Solo in ways that I will forever admire. You look past the mask and you get under his skin to bring out the most wonderful and the most haunting things and it is a wonderful, inspiring work of literally all the colors in the world. I absolutely adore the heck out of you because you are a genuinely good person and just a joy to be around!! And you somehow manage to listen to all my weird speeches! Tell me how you do that? It’s a miracle!!

@cmmnder ;; You are essentially my official wire teacher. That is a title no one can ever take away from you! I absolutely adore each and every little thread that we have! There is happiness in each and every single one of them and even the sadder ones fill me with emotion! Above all you’re a wonderful friend and I genuinely couldn’t ask for more.

@dusksabered ;; From ranting to analyzing to screaming about headcanons and ideas and plots; you’ve been there for all of it! Your writing, each reply, makes me want to reply immediately and just shout at how inspiring you are. Either way, you give Ben a voice and I love that!!

@savedsolo ;; I could put a mac and cheese joke here but I think we’ve been through them by now; or at least the bigger ones. At the end of the tunnel of food jokes? A wonderful human that I am super, super glad to have met. Lets hope 2020 will be filled with many, many fun plots that we come up with and then somehow both forget. We’re professional; it happens! I say as I roll over with laughter.

@heartsabered ;; Poppy the Pink of Narnia; honestly I am super, super glad that I met you! You are one of the kindest people I’ve ever had the fortune of meeting! You capture Rey with such beauty and literally every single sentence you write is art!! You are one of the most supportive people and for that I thank you!!

@savedsorrow ;; You are one of those people that the entire rpc is lucky to have around because you bring such light and understanding into the fandom!! You are open and accepting and wonderful and Larma is just amazing so having her around is a blessing every damn day!

@jedikllr ;; I would like to first and foremost point out that it is a penguin and not a porg but we can pretend it is a porg! I will be fine with that!! Jokes aside, I am glad I get to start into 2020 with you around. I am also forever grateful for all those weird rant like conversations we keep having. They are fun and random to no end.

@jcdiism ;; Why are you on here? Many reasons!! For one, you are one heck of a talented individual but also you’ve listened to me ramble about stuff and I will forever admire your enthusiasm about the characters of Star Wars. Also you made me see Rey Kenobi as a thing and that is just beyond wonderful!!

@lightabandoned ;; Thank you for being such a joy!! I love the way we both are such professional rpers of course! I mean, we really know what we’re doing! Jokes aside, I am seriously glad that I ended up following you because you are an amazing person and a wonderful writer!!

Admittedly I could go on talking about people forever so I’m just going to put a few honorable mentions!! You are all wonderful people that I hope to one day be able to have a thread with cause the imagination and talent is amazing! You give these characters a voice every day and it is a beauty to look at:

@shelumen, @oftwileks, @endlessfables, @endheir, @eightseven, @rouqehair, @flyjacket, @jaigsight, @crimsonshe, @senatorofstars, @scndsister, @sensedechoes, @gildedsaber, @unsith, @nabxrrie, @nctarebel, @godelecti, @joinedlight, @mandaloriian, @finaljedi, @hotdamerxn

--- I am about a 1000% sure that I forgot people but I love all of you and it’s New Years and hectic and I just wanted to put some love onto the dash because genuinely, I could hug all of you!!

[tgwltw]

Too late, bro.

This was totally written very quickly so there are definitely a lot of mistakes! Didn’t have the time to proof-read because I had to go visit a shrine to pay respects to the Gods (or something like that). Since it’s already 2019 (from where I am), happy new year! May 2019 be better than 2018 for all of you!

requested by anon: His i was wondering if i can request a dick grayson x reader imagine? Where the reader is in love with dick but dick is head over heels for kori ir si he thinks. The reader walk in on them having some private time and feels heart broken. The reader tries to get over dick so jason takes the reader out on a date to make them feel better which makes dick jealous its kind of lame im sorry the plot sucks have a nice day ❤

Jason had been a little bit too late in stopping you – if only he had been faster, he would have been able to save you from seeing such a sight. It wasn’t like Jason was not aware of your feelings about his older brother, Dick, because everyone but the actual object of your affections knew about your feelings.

A part of Jason wanted to go inside the room and throw a few punches for causing such a heart wrenching expression to appear on your face, but Jason remembers clearly how you were frozen stiff, standing by the doorway. All Jason could have done right at that time was to grip your wrist lightly and gently pulling you away from the room.

(The room where the love of your life was currently kissing the love of his life, probably).

The rest of that night went by a blur, mostly because Jason had been busy taking care of you. He had decided against bringing you back to your own apartment – knowing very well how you would just drown yourself with countless of alcohol and cry your eyes out the entire night and then some – and brought you over to his instead. He did give you some alcohol and you definitely consumed more than he thought you should have but you had relented when he told you to stop and that was when you had begun crying your eyes out.

But that had been two weeks ago. Jason thinks that is enough time for you to grieve – or at the very least, get over your initial hurt – over your unreciprocated love. Dick had been none the wiser, simply wondering where you had gone – Jason both likes and dislikes how you are able to avoid almost everyone for a good two weeks now, him included. But enough is enough and Jason was never known for being extremely patient, especially when it comes to something that he wants and, in this case, he wants you.

If someone had asked Jason when he had started liking you, Jason would not have been able to give you. Solid answer. Maybe it had been that one time where you had slapped him for his crude comment or maybe that one time, he had saved you from getting shot or it could have been that time when you had handed him his own ass. Jason can’t decide when he began having feelings for you at all.

So here he is now.

Jason clears his throat, catching you by surprise and you almost drop the book you had been browsing. Out of all the places, Jason definitely did not imagine finding you here in this bookstore. It should have been the first place he had looked at – considering how much you loved reading books – and the sheepish smile you gave him is almost enough to melt the annoyance within him.

“You are really hard to track when you don’t want to be found.” Jason points out as he steps toward you. You give him a sheepish chuckle, placing the book back at its place. He leans slightly against the bookshelf, making sure not to put all of his weight into it lest he wants it to fall. “I’d like to ask how you are, but you obviously look physically fine to me so how are you feeling?” But before you could even answer, Jason quickly adds, “And you better not tell me you are fine.”

You sigh, copying Jason’s pose and leaning against the bookshelf as well. “I’m healing, I guess. It doesn’t hurt as much because I think, deep down inside, I knew he had feelings for Kori. I was just deluding myself in thinking that I have a choice when I obviously didn’t.” You shrug your shoulders: the first few days had been rough for you. There was a lot of self-loathing and blaming but after a while, you had slowly come to your senses. Although deciding to avoid all of them had purely been a selfish thing.

Jason nods his head. “Do you want to have lunch with me?” He pushes himself off the bookshelf and turn to look at you. You obviously hadn’t been expecting that question from him because your elbow slipped and hit one of the shelves as you startled. He clears his throat, feeling a blush starting to rise and he curse the day he had decide to ask you without the cover of his mask. At the very least, you wouldn’t see him if he blushes – and Jason hopes he doesn’t.

It takes your brain a while to process what Jason had just said and you cannot help the blush that appears on your cheeks. Blinking a couple of times, you wet your lips before slowly nodding your head. Jason’s eyes widen the slightest bit before he schools his expression and gives you a stern look.

“You do understand that I am asking you out on a date right and not just lunch between two friends?”

The blush on your cheeks deepen the slightest bit and you nod your head, curling your hair behind your ear. “Yeah, I know.” You tell him weakly – your heart is starting to race, and you honestly don’t understand yourself right at this moment. You have always thought Jason to be really handsome and a really good friend too, considering how close in age the two of you are. “But I don’t want you to think I am doing this because I am settling, or you are my rebound…”

Jason shakes his head. “I have waited this long. I can wait a couple more to have you fall in love with me.” He smirks, draping his arm on your shoulders and you squeak the slightest bit when he pulls you to him. “Making you fall for me would not be that hard,” Jason tells you smugly, causing you to chuckle and roll your eyes. “Is Pho alright for you?”

You nod your head. Pho was not something you would normally eat but since you are already doing things you never thought you would be doing, might as well continue the streak. “I just so happen to be starving. You have impeccable timing, Todd.”

Jason snorts, rolling his eyes at your light jab and pulls you out of the bookstore. What he hadn’t count on was seeing Dick and Kori right as the two of you step outside. He feels you tensing up and Jason almost cursed out loud when Kori sees the two of you and that meant Dick’s attention was on the two of you as well.

Dick calls out your name in surprise and he is even more surprised to see Jason acting so affectionately with you. “I haven’t seen you around in a while! What are you doing here with Jason?” He pulls Kori towards the two of you and before you could even open your mouth to answer, Jason drops his arm from your shoulder to your waist – something that doesn’t miss Dick’s attention.

“We’re going out for lunch.” Jason tells him tersely. He really wished the two of you had stayed inside longer now, until Dick and Kori had gone. Dick shares a look with Kori before he turns back to Jason and you.

“Kori and I are about to go for lunch too. Maybe we can join?” Dick offers and before Jason could even open his mouth to reply, you spoke up, surprising everyone.

“Jason and I are going on a date.” You piped in, relaxing your body against Jason. You can feel all of their eyes on you and this causes you to blush slightly. But you clear your throat to continue talking. “Maybe some other day, sorry.” You tell them hurriedly and Jason nods his head.

“Oh.” Dick frowns but nods his head. “Yeah, maybe next time, right?” He turns to look at Kori who slowly nods his head. “It was nice seeing you, Y/N.” You give him a curt smile, nodding your head.

[everymovie2020]

Poseidon (2006)

Date watched:  4 November 2019

Round 3 of Poseidon related shenanigans.

This is the CGI-heavy, Wolfgang Peterson-directed, Josh Lucas-starring version of the 1972 movie and it's not great.  It's also way better than Beyond the Poseidon Adventure.

The cast includes my beloved Kurt Russell (dies), Josh Lucas, Emmy Rossum, Richard Dreyfuss, Andre Braugher (the captain – he dies), Fergie (dies), Freddy Rodriguez (dies), Jacinda Barrett and Kevin Dillon (dies).  There are also other less famous people who are in the movie as well but who cares about them, right?

So let's get into it.

And again, this is SUPER LENGTHY, so it’s under the cut.

Plot:

It's the mid-2000s.  The Poseidon is a very fancy, modern luxury liner along the same vein as the Queen Mary 2 – pics for comparison:

^ I’ve been on that ship and sometimes I think about that

The Poseidon has almost an old-fashioned feel to it:

That’s from the movie, this is the QM2 below:

I get what they were going for and honestly, if it was a real ship, I’d be totally into it.

So let's talk about how fucked everyone would be if the thing flipped upside down.

All the outside cabins with their balconies and glass doors – flooded instantly, people inside dead.  Not to mention the top deck, which contains the pools/entertaining areas including bars, etc – instantly flooded, everyone dead.  Then you've got internal rooms on the top decks which would also contain people who would also be very, very dead.  If anyone was in their room at the time of the sinking – and I'm guessing, even though it's New Year's Eve, a lot of (old) people would be – they would have no chance whatsoever.

Subsequently all the interior corridors would flood because the upper decks are not at all watertight – unless they are, in which case, there is a contingency plan in place for an event like this.

All of the weight of the engine room is now at the top, which is real, real bad.  I'm guessing there would be quite substantial structural damage from all the things in the engine room plummeting through the ship and taking out everything in their path.

The ship would settle low on the water because of the rampant flooding – I mean, I can't even imagine how quickly a modern-day cruise ship would flood.  Just look at how quickly the Costa Concordia sank, and it was only half submerged.

The air-conditioning ducts and shafts – water would pour into them with nothing to stop it.

The open areas in the interior of the ship – the atrium, for example, and all the elevator shafts, public areas etc – flood very quickly.  People in those areas would be totally fucked.  Not to mention the gaping chasms that would open from the ship being turned upside down, so floors are now ceilings, walkways are now ceilings, etc.

People in the elevators – totally, absolutely fucked beyond belief.

All the crew – fucked – although, the crew areas are low in the ship, so you would imagine if there are survivors, they would be passengers in the lower deck cabins or crew members.  But once they leave the ballroom, in this movie, they don't find anyone else alive.  Which in itself is a bit unbelievable because there would definitely be other survivors from the lower (now upper) decks of the ship.

The dining areas – in this movie there were large windows in the dining room, which leads me to think it's on a lower deck. Not sure if it was at the bow, stern or in the middle, but whatever the case, when the ship flips the windows are underwater.  Captain Raymond Holt orders watertight doors to be closed, which do nothing because the windows break and the water floods in that way.  Most modern-day cruise ships have multiple restaurants and eateries, and a buffet which is usually at the top.  Everyone in those areas would almost certainly be fucked.  If the restaurants were on the lower decks with less windows, there would likely be some survivors.  If it's one of those hibachi restaurants where they cook the food at your table?  Shit.

The structural damage from a ship this size rolling over completely would be astronomical – this ship is big.  This ain't no pleasure craft – this is a massive cruise ship with a lot of decks, a lot of passengers and a lot of weight.  I just cannot imagine that it would last very long upside down.

You've got water flooding in the decks that are now underwater and there is nothing to stop it.  This isn't the Titanic with its watertight compartments, that at least prolonged things because the Titanic, at least, was still upright.  There is nothing stopping water surging through the ship.  You'd have water forcing itself into air pockets and pressured "explosions" as the air was forced out.  You'd have multiple fires on board.  You'd have catastrophic structural damage.  No way to launch lifeboats – they're all underwater.  All the officers were on the bridge and are now dead.  The Captain is trapped in the main dining room and when that floods, he's dead too.  If there is a contingency plan for this sort of event happening to a modern cruise ship, I would love to know about it.

Look at some modern cruise ships for example:

^ the Norwegian Epic at the bottom is genuinely the ugliest thing I have ever seen in my life

Look at these ships.  These aren't just ships, they're floating hotels.  They're apartment buildings on water.  If one of these ships flipped over, everyone would be royally and completely screwed.

So I guess, with the original Poseidon Adventure, I can see how the ship may stay afloat long enough for people to escape.  But this version?  I can't see it.  I don't think they'd have any time at all.  I don't think the ship would last more than an hour, if that.  They're just not meant to be upside down!

And the other thing that shits me off about this version is that there is no explanation for the wave or how the ship flips so suddenly and completely.  All ships, if they're pushed to a certain limit, can capsize.  For sure.  With the original film, they point out the fact that the ship is top heavy and lacking in ballast; they're pushing it to its limits and the wave is caused by an earthquake off Greece.  So you go, okay, worst case scenario.

This ship is in the middle of nowhere.  It is a flat calm ocean.  In the original movie, they are going through huge seas. This version?  FLAT CALM, and then, all of a sudden, out of nowhere – not even showing up on their advanced radar because this is in fact the mid-2000s – is a gigantic rogue wave.

Like.

Look, I'm not an expert, but to my understanding, that's not what a rogue wave is.

The wave in this movie looks like it was lifted directly out of Deep Impact, as if a meteor has struck in the middle of the ocean and created this enormous wave.

They don't just form out of nothing.  I thought a rogue wave was a wave that doesn't move in the same direction as the other waves – usually if seas are high. They're not just waves that tootle around the ocean looking for shit to smash.

Where did this wave come from?  What caused it?  How did they not have any idea that it was coming?

And why does it take so long to break over the fucking ship?!

They don't give any explanation for anything. Rogue waves have hit ships before – they cause damage, surely, and ships can list to one side.  But they should right themselves.  Modern-day cruise ships have stabilisers (not that they would've been much help with this monstrous wave).  There are technological advancements to limit the damage to a ship.

You know what the wave in this movie looks like? You know in Interstellar, when they're on that water planet and Anne Hathaway is like, "Look at the mountains in the distance," but it turns out that there ain't no mountains, just a really big wave?

Yeah.

It's ridiculous.

Look, I love a disaster movie, and I do enjoy the ridiculous ones (2012, for example) – but I also like things to be rooted in reality.  You need a sense of "this could happen IRL" or else they're just dumb. Entertaining, but dumb.

So my point is – the wave is too big to be realistic.  If that did happen, and the ship did flip, it wouldn't stay afloat for very long.

The other thing about the scene where the wave wipes out the ship is that… it's a series of quick cuts, but it's a good minute of this wave slowly pushing the ship over.  It feels slow.  It doesn't feel realistic because… well, it's not realistic, but like… even with a wave that big… I don't think the ship would've flipped completely over?  I might be wrong.  I could be so wrong.  I just feel like there would've been a hell of a lot of damage, sure, and maybe the ship would've tipped onto its side, but… to keep turning until it's completely flipped over seems very unrealistic to me.

Anyway, whether it's realistic or not doesn't matter because it happens in the movie.  So the ship flips, and everyone who is in the main dining room is having a really bad time.  They also do show people in the nightclub when it flips as well, but after that initial nightclub scene – in which people survive – they don't show any other survivors on board at all.  Which again is unrealistic.  There are thousands of people on these ships.  There would've been more than six survivors.

I keep getting side-tracked by the minute details of this movie that annoyed me.

Okay, so everyone is in the dining room, and Captain Raymond Holt wants everyone to stay there because emergency beacons would have been triggered and help will be on the way (help does take an awful long time to arrive though, just saying).  Josh Lucas, who is… hmmm. Some kind of rich guy, who… I don't know what his character does or who he is.  He's rich and he seems to know boats.

Kurt Russell is Emmy Rossum's dad, and she's dating this guy who is on the cruise with them but he doesn't approve for some reason that I didn't care about.  Jacinda Barrett is on board with her goddamn fucking kid who keeps getting lost, and Josh Lucas has a hard on for her.  Richard Dreyfuss plays an elderly gay gentleman who gets dumped while on board, then is about to jump overboard, but sees the wave coming and manages to get back into the ballroom of the ship before it hits.  He also has a bad habit of getting Latin American people killed. That's not a joke.  Just a statement of fact.

So the wave hits, the boat tips and everyone in the ballroom and nightclub get completely fucked up (not to mention the other ship passengers who weren't in those areas who are all definitely dead). Kurt Russell was the mayor of New York and then before that a fire chief, so he has a vested interest in rescuing his daughter, who was in the nightclub, and also getting the fuck out. He and Josh Lucas team up together because they're hot white dudes.  Captain Raymond Holt wants to keep everyone in the ballroom and honestly, it's a mistake, but also it's probably safety protocol and I feel like he was doing everything right, and also, the captain goes down with the ship.  It would've been wrong if he lived and everyone else died.

With the help of Freddy Rodriguez (he does not last long in this movie), our gang of ragtag heroes make their way out through what's left of the kitchen (and over piles and piles of dead bodies) until they get to an elevator shaft.  They climb across one by one but of course, as Freddy Rodriguez is last, and panicking, and the ship is exploding or something (I can't remember), he ends up dangling from Richard Dreyfuss' leg.  And Josh Lucas tells Richard Dreyfuss to shake him off, which is so cold-blooded, but like… I get it, but also like… wow, that's so cold-blooded. And he does, and Freddy falls to his death and is impaled, and then the elevator, which was suspended above them, falls and crushes him, just to really wipe out the minorities from this movie.

Actually, thinking about it, only white people survive, so there you go.  Just make of that what you will.

They make it to the nightclub where they find Emmy Rossum, her boyfriend and Freddy Rodriguez's girlfriend, who Richard Dreyfuss also inadvertently kills later in the movie.  It's just a bad time to be Latin American in this movie.

Then the ballroom floods, which is bad news because literally most of the survivors are still in there.  There’s this weird bit where Fergie hugs Captain Holt but I can’t find a gif of it, disappointingly.

Then “our heroes” end up at the ship's atrium, with all of the glass elevators, and it's here that we get possible the funniest death of the movie in Kevin Dillon's asshole getting smushed, and we also get possibly the most utterly ridiculous thing in the whole movie, which comes directly after said smushing.

Again, I cannot find a gif of the smushing.  WHAT IS GOING ON.  It’s like nobody giffed this shit movie.  Instead, enjoy this photo of the immediate aftermath of said smushing:

So the atrium of the ship is a big void with staircases and glass elevators, right?  It's obviously in the middle of the ship and it leads from the lower levels all the way to the top and lets in sunlight.  When they get to it, they need to get from one side to the other to keep working their way towards the bow (I think, instead of getting out through the stern near the propellers, they go to the bow to get out through the azipods – and yeah I'm losing you guys I know).  There is a convenient way across in the form of a collapsed elevator (I think?) and of course, all but Josh Lucas, Emmy Rossum and the boyfriend make it across, because as Kevin Dillon is crossing, a piece of machinery from the engine room – which is now above the atrium – falls through the decks, smashes into him, and continues right through the bottom of the ship (formerly the roof of the ship).  It's hilarious.

Josh Lucas finds it less hilarious than I did, and he then does what is just genuinely the stupidest part of this movie – he does a swan dive from their vantage point quite high up above the flaming water below them, into the flaming water (and miraculously is not impaled by something submerged just below the surface, wow, what a legend), so he can swim under the flaming water to the other side with a rope to get the others across.

It is preposterous.

I don't even know what happens next because I was so boggled by the ridiculousness of that scene.

I mean, it's basically the same as the original. They're trying to make their way up and out but they keep coming up against obstacles, and flooding.  At one point the kid runs off and nearly drowns but Josh Lucas saves him.  They finally get to where they're going (after Richard Dreyfuss inadvertently kills the Latin American chick) and realise that the propellers are still running and they need to be turned off.  It's then a dick-measuring contest between Kurt Russell and the boyfriend, who used to be a swimmer in high school, but Kurt Russell heroically sacrifices himself to save his daughter and the boyfriend.  There is then an elongated scene of Kurt Russell drowning which does feel like overkill.

And then of course, whatever he does is right but there's still one more obstacle, so Josh Lucas has to blow up one of the propellers so they can escape, and they swim to a conveniently placed life raft and watch as the ship finally sinks, and then a minute later they're rescued.

I mean, at least in this one the ship does sink very quickly?

There's a lot wrong with it but my main problems are:

The lack of realism;

The fact that only white people survive;

The women are mostly useless and the men do all the heavy lifting;

You don't ever really care about these characters – but at least they're not straight up dicks like the guys in Beyond the Poseidon Adventure.

[girlbookwrm]

AVENGERS: CIVIL WAR

THE MIGHTY PRE ENDGAME REWATCH

it took us two entire days to watch this, back in whenever we were watching this. I’ve got a Bundle of Papers here in front of me, and the CW Bundle is by far the thickest, and that’s with minimal salt content.

Speaking of Salt: The Roommate and I had to approach this as an Avengers movie. Because otherwise the salt levels in this would be toxic, possibly fatal. Even so, ppl with high cholesterol be warned

LET’S DO THIS

1991!

Winter Soldier: 

what is this

what is this please

dat beef tho

what is this op sec

honestly

NO mask

SHINY FUCKOFF ARM just HANGING OUT

CCTV???

~ooooooo he’s a ghooooooooooooost~

he’s got an extremely dedicated and very harried cleanup crew is what he’s got

OH! OLD LOGO ILU!!!

LAGOS!!

The Roommate: That’s a lot of sugar

i ain’t judging

what, you think her powers run on optimism?

is there an accent? is there not? Shroedinger’s accent.

droney the drone

sam’s lil sky roomba

i love him

guhhhh this scene every line shows character and growth and i just *clenches fist*

did

did falcon just throw steve

just yeeted him at the enemy?

god i love that

also: has steve bulked up since TWS?

that’s also on Sam, yeah?

CUT THE CHEEEEECCCCK

is this fucking NEUROTOXIN? STEVE WHERE’S UR MASK?

Steve, throwing himself into a room full of an unknown poison gas without a mask: I bet i can survive this

Bucky, in Bucharest: *breaks whatever he’s holding without knowing why*

god i love sam

“I don’t work like that no more” Means ?????????????

PARKOUR NAT

is also BRUNCH MOM NAT

“both grunting” is always one of my favorite subtitles

2 white boys fighting in the middle of the street like it’s a video game

god someone took the murder strut to heart wow that is some. that is some something that’s for sure.

give me even one (1) heterosexual explanation for "your pal your buddy your bucky"

there’s no way that bucky ever said this, right? this is just Rumlow fucking with steve, and the screenwriters fucking with us

because IN CASE YOU WERE NOT IN THIS FANDOM IN 2016, WE ALL THOUGHT CAP WOULD DIE IN THIS MOVIE

WE WERE SO SURE

wow i wonder if that will be relevant to anyone’s emotions here in the year of our lordt 2019

anyway, what bucky actually said was:

“please tell rogers... that he’s a big dumb dildo and he should wear a gas mask and also a parachute.”

listen i love this opening scene but also wanda is not at all responsible for this explosion and the fact that they act like she is undermines my ability to suspend my disbelief.

DIGITAL ENYOUTHENMENT ALERT

also, tony the fact that you are using your literal dead mom as an actual therapist is

wow

BARF feels right to me

too real, tony

it’s too real

how ARE you getting around the strings and taxes tho

Also can i say that i actually love that Pepper’s absence is this profoundly important to the story. The hole where pepper should be is a huge part of this story and i like that. i like that a lot.

WOW THAT EXTRA IS LIKE A MASHUP OF NAT AND WANDA. SHE IS THE GENERIC MARVEL WHITE LADY

more a+ visual storytelling with the elevator

I’m just so mad that they blame wanda and play that straight?

all they had to do was outright acknowledge one (1) time that the media is picking on her because she’s a woman/a foreigner

imagine that speech coming from nat instead of steve

though i do love Steve’s pep talk

again. give me one (1) heterosexual explanation

though why not have Steve say “they’re just bullies, you did the right thing” and hearken back to smolsteeb

The Roommate: Remember how i was mad at his Oscars Velvet Blazer? I am also mad at this sweater.... it looks... so soft... i don’t know if i want it on him or off him... just wanna tuch....... and wear..........?”

Vision’s Ascot is. Something else man.

The Roommate: Why is ross secretary of state?

Me: Why is Trump President

Me: I bet Ross is vegan

the roommate, who has vegan-related trauma: UUUUGGGHHHHHHHH

Nat's reaction to vigilantes: Bitch please. she is Unbothered.

you don’t have to show us footage we’ve got the ptsd nightmares

400 pages in 3 days

[tired american sighing]

we honestly can’t even criticize this plot point anymore just

[my longest and most american sigh]

CLEVELAND!!!

hail hydra continues to be the Most Terrible last words

but WHY does ross have the congressional medal of honor

do you know how HARD it is to get one of those????

yeesh

sassy black friends sassing at each other

is definitely a

thing that is happening rn

Vision: Well Actually

no one cares, vis

ok like

a kid is dead but

3.6 is an okay GPA

maybe all my friends are overachievers

maybe it’s just because most of them are women but like

it’s an okay GPA

i’d have 8000% more respect for Tony if he was more upfront like “look this is on me” especially here

are we supposed to be picking all this up as subtext, actually?

because i know that this movie ALSO had a Troubled Youth ala ant man

and i really do appreciate the Russos for relying on a smart audience but there’s a lot going on

and it’s very obvious to me that they had to shift gears 18,000 times in the script writing phase

so like, you’ve got old man vet steve

but it’s painfully obvious that he missed vietnam right?

like

it’s painfully obvious

and he’s v egotistical and self righteous too 

it IS a battle of the egos

and no one is right

except natasha

Steve: i have to go

me: mood

LONDON!!!!

oh god

oh god no

steve god no steve oh god

gfhskfdjjjksjdjjhrrrrhrhhrhfhh [wailing and rending of garments]

Re Peggy’s age:

SURPRISE IT’S ACTUALLY PLAUSIBLE

so the True Hallmark of a Cap Movie is Peggy telling steve what to do.

so weird to have that in an avengers movie

i do love this. GOOD BRO NAT CONTENT

Um. is vision a minor? is wanda?

again, nat is the only Correct one here

stay together guys

it might be

reeeeeeaaaaally important in 

*checks watch*

two years’ time.

~hug~

VIENNA!!!!!

CHAD WICK! CHAD! WICK! CHAD! WICK!

god i love the xhosa in this

There is a level of worldbuilding in this that we p much only get from the russos/markus&mcfeely. i mean -- internal consistency worldbuilding? if that makes sense? we get a lot of visual worldbuilding in black panther, but this is distinctly different and hard to articulate and it has to do with the way they approach things and how they assume audience intelligence

it just works for me

oh no chadwick boseman don’t be cry

Sharon deserves better

than being cockblocked by her own aunt

and also sam wilson (who also deserves better)

cryptid!bucky

Nat did you get that suit from jenny agutter?

LA Brunch Mom Nat

mah girl

she’s just so tired

steve (bless him) is just so exhausting

couples date sam and steve dressed to match

“at the gym”??? really? the arm is... a bit of a giveaway

i do feel bad for zemo in this one specific case

russian IS hard

how. did he get that in there?

Soft Plumboy Bucky

BEEF

Captain’s Log: Buck’s place is a shithole

Sergeant’s Log: Steve’s face is pretty

surprise bitch

“That’s Smart, Good Strategy” is an excellent phrase to use in everyday conversation in order to weed out who Knows and who Doesn’t.

What i have learned from civil war: 

Captain America is a projectile weapon

further query:

did bucky ever hurl small steve at assailants?

Bucky: *punts steve down an alley*

Steve, 90 lbs of rage at 90 mph: GET WRECKED

Bucky’s got big tommy wiseau cryptid energy here

And now there’s a cat

bucky:

I love this vampire running and also bucky’s thighs

Steve Rogers: Excuse me sir I need to commandeer this vehicle. YEET.

Bucky Barnes: Excuse me sir I need to commandeer this vehicle. YOINK.

Bucky and Steve: Wrecking your morning commute since 2014

WAR MACHINE!!!

god vis has the biggest dorkiest crush

so vis are you a child prodigy? or? what?

The Roommate, a cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure: vis have you eaten anything between CW and IW?

Me, sinnamon roll, not to be trusted: *dying* *thinking about how Vision’s got schroedinger’s dick. does it exist? does it not exist? who knows.*

Me: Y. Yes. I th. think he has. eaten something. between now and. and IW. something.

The Roommate: *betrayed look*

Me: DEEP FRIED KEBAB MAYBE? I DON’T KNOW.

The Roommate: *is so disappointed*

BERLIN!!!!!!

Bucky is. So tired. Let him rest.

fucking up the morning commute again i see

u like cats??

I love the ratio of overkill:ineffectiveness with this glass box they put him in.

why did tony  bring these fancy pens

the time spent explaining them could’ve been spent doing literally anything else

*i still don’t understand the accords*

GOD STEVE WANTS TO BE AN UNCLE SO BAD

“my fault”

there it is

“truth is i don’t want to stop”

THERE it is

“i thought the accords could split the difference”

THERE IT IS

"no, i don’t.”

THERE IT IS

“IT’S INTERNMENT.”

THERE! IT! IS!

gah.

wanda’s accent et al -- MAKE IT EXPLICIT MARVEL YOU COWARDS

no but really what are the accords

here followed a 20-30 minute convo about the accords

basically the summing up was:

Nat is 100% Right Ross is 100% Wrong Everyone Else is In A Grey Area

look this is actually a really good avengers movie

but

this is a moment when the back catalogue works against them because this conversation is so -- it implies a lot of friendly interactions between these two. they seem to have a relationship

but i keep looking at all the other movies they’ve interacted in like

BITCH WHERE? WHERE IS THE TONYSTEVE FRIENDSHIP? WHERE???

i am anticipating this will cause me A Grief later

The Roommate, looking at Steve in his Grey Shirt and Jacket: Damn, sir. Stop wearing clothes.

“BIRD COSTUME???”

“j a m e s”

big holt talking to rosa vibes there

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

A VAST AND MIGHTY MOOD

Zemo’s plan is so ridiculous i genuinely don’t have time to get into it i still have two pages of notes to get through holy shit.

this fight scene. does things. for me.

hhhHNNNNHGH BEEFSTEAK

(oh tony left with no suit? growth dot gif)

THIGHS

T H I G H S ! ! ! !

CHADWICK!

Sam out here, serving looks, casually modeling

B I C E P S ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

TOO SEXY! *crashes helicopter*

I need twelve more scenes of steve and bucky faffing about in the water.

A more effective restraint than the custom made bucky bottle

(BRIEF 1991)

haaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAa biceps u stop that

Is Tony having a heart attack???

he has no concept of how to treat children because he never was one oh no i gave myself a sad feeling

QUEENS!!!!!!!

“I’m having a big fight in a parking lot with my superhero friends better go pick up a child as backup.” - tony stark

tony he doesn’t have a passport and if he understood what was happening he would not be on your side

Now That’s What I Call Vigilantism.

Why are you bringing a CHILD to a gun fight

Tony’s face, to me, suggests that he knows EXACTLY what he’s doing

also? it’s painfully obvious to me that these scenes were copypasted in late stage when they finally found out that yes they would have the rights to spiderman lol

for some reason they don’t feel the need to tell is that this is avengers compound in 400 point font

i’m so lost

where are we?

without the 400 point font i can only assume we are on mars

THAT’s a fine way to greet YOUR FATHER, WANDA

hawkeye is in fact the team lynchpin

is it

ugh

is it because they listen to him but he listens to natasha

ugh

i bet it is

UUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH

Vision: I have been FALLING! for THIRTY MINUTES!

“i know someone who does”

i’m confused by the cut here, because it seems to imply that Sharon, deliberately or inadvertently, rats them out to natasha?

Birds and raccoons do not get along

steve

steve no

steve

ur timing is shit steve

Scott Lang might be the best thing in this movie

well except for Dat Bone Structure

CUT THE CHEEEEEECK

*costume change in a parking lot to the yakkety sax soundtrack*

Thinking about the coming battle i am forced to concede that Iron Man Has A Point?

“do you really want to punch your way out of this?”

Steve: I ALWAYS wanna punch my way out

god scott’s such a fukkin nerd

tiny quibble but Scott “got punched by hope van dyne” lang would never say that to the black heckin widow

“gimmick”

um

people in falcon houses shouldn’t throw spider stones, samuel

wanda

those cars belong to people

oh god iron man has a point

LET’S GO LESBIANS! COME ON LESBIANS LET’S GO

*catfight sounds*

“then why did you run?”

dude you attacked me in a catsuit

Tony’s true superpower is that he knows steve, that’s how spiderbabby gets the upper hand

althought god

Tony was pre-gaslighting peter

he was pilotlighting peter

*my longest UGH yet*

“Queens?” “Brooklyn”

MAXIMUM NEW YORK ACHIEVED

ant man is the MVP

hmmmmmm “we don’t trade lives” HMMMMMMMMM

why did that truck explode

also *omg iron man has a point*

tony tedward stark how did you not know how old this child was

also peter stop pretending you don’t know what Empire Strikes Back, AT-ATs and Hoth are.

why doesn’t Vis get more flack for this

hey. hey tony. you know what sam is? A MEDIC. maybe let him LOOK AT YER FRIEND THERE instead of SHOOTING HIM IN THE FACE.

zemo’s plan is noooooonseeeeennnnnnsssse

guh these two beautiful men emoting in different directions KILL ME

this doctor is just like “yup there’s a giant purple robot here seems legit”

natasha is the only one who’s 100% right

did... did the russos kill themselves in this movie? did they cast themselves as dead extras? was this a statement of some kind?

HOW did ross get the congressional medal of honor. H O W.

“you read it”

NO ONE READ IT, IT’S 400 PAGES

tony this is Some Nonsense

ffflslkds he’s taking one of Nat’s guns KILL ME

one (1) heterosexual explanation.

rode back in a freezer truck

got pneumonia

already had pneumonia

and you blew three whole dollars on some slut

(seriously. gimme one. i’m waiting.)

srsly tho, whether you ship it or not, these two are old marrieds

the red star looks weird on his beefcake arm. did they forget to scale it up?

KITTY

listen zemo is just really turned on by cam and he didn’t mean to say that and that’s the most relateable thing he’s done so far.

It’s not just that bucky killed his mom. it’s that bucky killed his mom AND STEVE KEPT IT FROM HIM.

life alert a senior citizen has fallen

T'Challa, observing this White Nonsense™: I truly should... check myself. Before! I wreck myself.

agism is what it is

god this bit

steve dropping the shield

look at him

he is Stick A Fork In Him D O N E

Rhodey really deserves better than this? He deserves development showing the evolution of his opinion between here and IW

i wish we could get more of him grappling with this

that said

gosh wouldn’t it fucking suck if Cap and Bucky got relegated to End Credit scenes in their own got damn movie to make room for Iron Man to emote at his buddy his pal his rhodey?

*looks directly into the camera like i’m on the office.*

Anyway.

Steve rogers: getting the last word in every argument since 1918.

“from the bottom of my heart: My Bad.”

[burnouts3s3]

Joker (2019), a review

(Disclaimer: The following is a non-profit unprofessional blog post written by an unprofessional blog poster. All purported facts and statement are little more than the subjective, biased opinion of said blog poster. In other words, don’t take anything I say too seriously. I enjoyed all 5 Michael Bay Transformers films, for crying out loud.) Just the facts 'Cause you're in a Hurry! Ticket Price: Will Vary Theater to Theater How much I paid: 10.95 USD Rated: R for Strong Bloody violence, Disturbing Behavior, Language and Brief Sexual Images Running time: 122 minutes (2 Hours and 2 Minutes) 3-D: No Post-Credits Sequences: None. My Personal Biases: I like Superheroes. I like superhero movies. I like the DCEU and I have a disposable amount of income that means going to see an overpriced movie means nothing to me. Sorry if you were looking for someone harsher. I liked the first Hangover film but not Hangover 2 and Hangover 3. I have not seen Old School, the King of Comedy or Taxi Driver. The Controversy: A lot of critics are worried that the Joker will incite a mass shooting because it portrays a lonely white guy who becomes a killer in a sympathetic light. Security: When I went to my local theater, the showings had a strict “no handbags, no backpacks and no costumes or helmets or facepaint” rule. When I left the showing, there was a police car outside waiting “in case something happened”. My Verdict: For all the hype and controversy, Joker doesn’t feel like a cohesive whole (maybe on purpose?). Its interesting scenes and a character study about a guy losing his way that feels like an homage to Taxi Driver without actually accomplishing it. Still, Joaquin Phoenix is great at the role and his performance is worth the price of admission alone.  Honestly, Director Todd Phillips had more to say (problematic or not) about arrested development, medication, reckless behavior and daddy issues with the Hangover’s Alan. I recommend a viewing, but if you’re squeamish or don’t feel like going outside for whatever reason, you can always wait for Video on Demand. Warning: SPOILERS! Joker (2019), a review

You know, I was already sick and tired of the conversation the Joker started before I even watched the movie. There’s been a lot of talk about how problematic the movie was and whether or not releasing the film now with all these mass shootings and political tension in the air was a good idea. Pitched as Taxi Driver but with the Joker, the new film is said to be the launch of DC’s Black Label, stand alone films that are not connected to the rest of the DC Extended Universe. As such, Warner Bros. is taking a new approach and casting Joaquin Phoenix as a Joker not in any way related to Jared Leto’s version found in Suicide Squad. It also shoots for a much different style of film not seen in the Marvel movies (or for the matter, even DC’s own Aquaman and Shazam). I always hate it when people are concerned about problematic content or giving people the wrong ideas because there’s not a direct correlation that such works of art that has those ideas will be accepted. I reject this notion because I see plenty of good or positive content being promoted that people just don’t seem to take. To use an example, I don’t think Captain Marvel is going to convince a bunch of white women to join the military or vote for the democratic party in 2020. As such, even if this new Joker film didn’t exist, the next mass shooter is probably going to find inspiration from another source. Problematic or not, I was simply eager to find out whether the film was any good. As such, here’s a review of the controversial “Joker”. In 1981, Arthur Fleck lives with his mother Penny in Gotham City working as a clown-for-hire. He suffers from a neurological disorder that causes him to laugh at inopportune times, and regularly visits a social services worker to get medication. After a group of street kids steal Arthur's sign and beat him in an alley, one of his coworkers loans him a gun for protection. Arthur also meets Sophie, a single mother who lives in a neighboring apartment, and invites her to his stand-up comedy routine. If I were to tell you that I thought the Joker film was ambitious but flawed, do you wish me to send you my email address so you can write me a nasty letter or should I bring out the rotten vegetables so you can throw them at me? During a visit to a children's hospital, Arthur's gun falls out of his pocket, which results in his firing. Arthur also learns that the social service program is shutting down, leaving him with no way to get his medication. During a subway ride home, Arthur is harassed by a group of three Wayne Enterprises businessmen, and he kills them when they start to beat him. This unintentionally starts a protest movement against Gotham City's rich, with protesters donning clown masks in his image. Let’s get one thing out of the way; whatever my feelings on the film are, Joaquin Phoenix owns the role. His Joker is simply magnificent to behold and it’s very visible both from the weight transformation to this mannerisms that he was ready for this role. The sympathetic moments you feel are solely because of him. Well done. Sadly, the rest of the film doesn’t live up to the hype or controversy (in my opinion). It feels like interchangeable beats with little to no progression. It’s not so much a plot driven film as it is a character study of Arthur’s descent into madness. We see portraits of his life and see how he just can’t catch a break and it does show him in a sympathetic light. I will give credit that the film eventually revealing that Arthur ISN’T a special person that is misunderstood but is just a guy who’s just like everyone else who thinks he should have more than he has right now. See, in a series of reveals, it shows us that Arthur is an unreliable narrator. His love interest was something he imagined because she was nice to him one time. His belief that he is the illegitimate son of Thomas Wayne (an idea planted into him by his mother) is nothing more than wishful thinking. The movie goes out of its way to paint that while Arthur may have a sympathetic situation, he’s taking actions that are not. It’s only when things start attempting to world build that everything gets confusing. Apparently, Arthur becomes some sort of symbol for the poorer class of the city (#OccupyClownStreet ?) and people start dressing up like him. And there’s a reveal with Thomas Wayne which I just rolled my eyes at. It’s just weird that Arthur ‘coincidentally’ kills 3 Wayne Enterprise employees and people take it as a political statement even though Arthur reiterates he’s not political. It’s unclear what the film is trying to say about any of the subject matters it brings up. Director and screenwriter Todd Phillips said more about medication, unresolved parental issues, arrested development and entitlement with the Hangover’s Alan. This isn’t even “screw all sides, shut up and get off my lawn” libertarian fratboyism as patented by South Park (a position, I would argue, that Matt Stone and Trey Parker, have since back peddled on). It doesn’t really say anything during it’s runtime other than “rich people suck and society made me this way”. (Again, in my personal, subjective, biased opinion). CAVEAT: It’s clear that the Joker controversy has eclipsed even the film itself. Beyond all the punditry, the fans and critics debating, the moral panic and the extra security, the film itself is just another Joaquin Phoenix show case. It’s not even ‘that’ violent apart from one stabbing. Maybe that’s the joke? That the controversy surrounding the film is more important than said film? Director Todd Phillips said he wanted to make a ‘real movie’ and pass it off as a superhero movie. Aside from the weird swipe against other superhero movies, Todd Phillips seems to be trying so hard to get prestige when I’d say the Hangover films had sharper teeth than this. I understand a lot of people are unsure whether or not to go see the movie given the current political climate and safety concerns. I won’t judge them, but I’m of the opinion that if you let fear get to you, the people propagating the fear usually win.  However, if you’re unsure, I don’t see a problem with just waiting for the film to come out on VOD. It’s rare for a film to get this much attention, regardless of whether Warner Brothers and Todd Phillips planned for it. I just wish it had more to say given the opportunity. Rating: Matinee

[judithsupportsteamchampery]

Why you’ve made my winter!

- by Judith Dombrowski

My personal Team Champéry season review

This is dedicated to figure skater Deniss Vasiljevs, coach and figure skater Stéphane Lambiel and their manager Christopher Trevisan!

My very special thanks to my mother Beate. Without you nothing of this would have been possible. I can say with my whole heart that you are the best mother I ever could have imagined.

Also special thanks to:

Anastasia, Charlie, Estephanía, Jelena, Laia, Maria R., Maria T., Marina, P., Susanne, Szilvia

You all have become amazing and true friends. I love you with my whole heart!

And to everyone else whom I met because of Team Champéry this winter, either personally or via the internet. We are the best fan community I can imagine.

On March 2nd 2019, after I had been able to take THAT picture, that picture thousands of skating fans dream of, that picture I would never ever had imagined to happen, I turned around and thanked both of you: “Thank you so much for everything!“, I said. Then I looked at you, Deniss, and said: “You’ve really made my winter! Thanks!“ You looked flattered and surprised but didn’t respond anything. But you, Stéph, said something like: “Wow, you are really so positive!“ It was the second time you said that that afternoon and I do understand why you said it in this situation: For the two of you it definitely hadn’t been the winter you’ve dreamed of. It must have been a hard winter full of worries, concerns and disappointments. It seemed to surprise you, Stéph, why you’ve made somebody’s winter even though so much seemed to have gone wrong for you.

So I am writing this blog post / article / review to explain to the two of you and to everyone interested, why this sentence was incredibly true. Why I actually couldn’t have thanked you in a more accurate way. Beware, this might gonna be long. I usually fail saying things short and there has been really a lot going on this winter relating to the two of you. I will also miss out some moments because it has just been too much.

When to start? Should it be the moment when we decided to go to Grenoble? The moment I started to be your fan, Deniss? Should I go back to Worlds 2005 when I had my first big crush on that handsome Swiss figure skater? This would turn into a novel so lets start right at the beginning… of… this winter:

October

“Hey, I just wanted to tell you that I am free earlier than expected today. So if you’d like we can meet earlier?“

“I am sorry I fear I won’t be able to come over before 18.30? Hope that’s still alright?“, I replied to a good friend of mine on WhatsApp.

“Haha, yea, sure, thought you have holidays…“

“Well, yea“, … she was a really good friend so I could be honest, “but my Mom doesn’t. She’s only free from 3pm and we’ll have to watch a movie together this afternoon. This is like the only possibility before next weekend. Will explain you later!“

“Okayyyy…!“

It was a Wednesday afternoon in early October during my autumn holidays and I spent the week in South Germany with my mother and tried to meet up with as many old friends as possible. It was also the week before Japan Open, the first time you, Deniss, were supposed to skate your new free program. And it finally had leaked that you would be skating to the soundtrack of the movie “Last Samurai“. So to totally understand the program my mother and I watched the movie together, listened to the music very precisely, discussed about the plot, read and learned about the history of the samurai on Wikipedia.

We liked and appreciated the theme and that music choice right away. As we did with the whole program when it had finally been uploaded. Despite technical difficulties we saw the efforts and the great thoughts behind the choreography of this program right away and were really looking forward to see this program grow and bloom over the season.

It was different with the Short Program. When “Papa was a rolling stone“ was posted first, I listened to the song in the car and it left me quite puzzled… How was that supposed to be the song of a skating program? And those lyrics? Well… I liked the beat and the rhythm of the song from the beginning and I put all my trust in your good taste and I wasn’t going to be disappointed.

The figure skating season was speeding up: The first Grand Prix was coming along together with a small competition called “Minsk Ice Star“ - the warm up contest for you, Deniss. I spent that weekend in the Netherlands where a friend celebrated her birthday. The moment I remember best of these days is myself walking up and down at the beach streaming the free program in bad quality on my phone screaming and jumping up and down at every landed jump. This weekend brought the first fully rotated and landed Quad in competition for you, Deniss, and the first gold medal of the season. For me this weekend made me like and appreciate the short program and I “met“ my “soulmate“ because of this competition:

Until then I hadn’t been too active about figure skating on social media, because most of my followers on Instagram were my real life friends who didn’t care about this sport at all. There was no official livestream of Minsk Ice Star. But I found some Russian girls via Instagram who were in the arena and were so kind to stream the practices and the competition. That’s how I met my today very very good and close friend Maria. We started texting since then, we went through this winter together, kept each other updated all the time and finally went to Innsbruck together. But that happened many moments and stories later.

November

NHK Trophy was after all the only competition this entire season I didn’t manage to follow live. Despite all efforts I didn’t make it home from work in time for the SP, and I also missed the LP the next day because of my tennis practice. I did come home when Shoma Uno was about to start his Free Skate performance but of course he skated deep in the second group. I clicked on “pause“ and scrolled back to start watching the competition from the beginning. There had been a number though in the left upper corner of my screen I couldn’t have avoided seeing: The leading skater at the moment Shoma started to skate had the technical score of 70 points. 70 Points! DAMN! That was…. low. Very low for that moment in the competition. And 70… that was a number you, Deniss, were likely to score. My heart started racing. Could it be possible? If you were the leader at that moment you were… about to win a medal.

“It was hard to see how excited you still were!“, my Mom told me on the phone an hour later when I was full of disappointment. She had been able to watch everything live and knew that it unfortunately hadn’t been you, Deniss, who had scored those 70 points, it had been Matteo Rizzo. I felt really sorry for you, missing that opportunity. “Keep your head up, keep your heart strong…“, I kept listening on repeat during that weekend and I wished you could also hear that motivating song by Ben Howard. The next competition was going to be better. I was sure! And the next competition was: IdF in Grenoble. THE competition. Our competition. Where my mother and I would go to see and support you live. The weekend I had been waiting for since the end of June when the assignments came out. And now it was not even two weeks away…The Sunday after NHK I spent in the kitchen baking my gifts for the two of you: The lion and the ladybug as German gingerbread. I am not the most artistically talented person, and I didn’t honestly expect this project to be successful, especially drawing a lion with chocolate and sugar icing on a piece of cookie seemed like a far too motivated project for me. But I did it, every millimeter drawn with concentration and passion. And succeeded: I had baked a lion and a ladybug gingerbread. The presents were ready, the flags had arrived and got inked, all tickets were printed, we were ready to go.

You probably all remember a weekend or an event you once desperately had been waiting for. And then the moment when it is really happening. So you can probably imagine how I felt: I see myself as if it was yesterday walking from the parking lot in Mainz to the station where I had to take the train to Frankfurt airport, feeling like I was flying: It was real, yes, it was. I was on my way to Grenoble, I had everything prepared, I had gotten the extra day off at school, I had the gifts and the banners in my bag, I had your program music in my ears, I was so so ready for it!

I had high expectations for this weekend just as you probably had as well, Deniss. Unfortunately yours weren’t totally fulfilled again especially in the long program. Mine instead were outreached by far:

That moment, when I saw the two of you live right ahead of me in practice. The moment you really nailed your SP, how I was screaming and celebrating of relief. The moment I was able to give you the gifts after the second practice. The moment when you walked around proudly showing my baked lion to other fans. All those moments of wonderful and magical performances by your fellow skaters, all those people I had been admiring in front of the TV screen for years: Evgenia Medvedeva, Rika Kihira, Vanessa James and Morgan Cipres, Gabriella Papadakis and Guillaume Cizeron, Nathan Chen, Jason Brown and Dimitri Aliev just to name a few…

And that moment, Saturday 24th of November, 6 pm during the Ice Dance medal ceremony when I checked on my emails and my heart skipped for sure more than one beat: Email by Christopher Trevisan: “Sorry for the short notice, if you are still interested you can have a fan meeting with Deniss tomorrow morning either at 10 or 11 o’clock. Let me know if you are still interested.“ If I was interested? Hell, YES. But: Our bus to the airport was booked tomorrow at 10 o’clock from the main station in Grenoble. Our flight home was leaving Lyon at 2 pm. I was in shock, excited and concerned at the same time. It was hard to think straight.

I will never forget the night from November 24th to November 25th in my entire life. So many insecurities: When exactly? Where? Who will come? How will we get home? Take the train instead of flying? Take a taxi to the airport? Skip the whole fan meeting myself?

Charlie, my mother and I were sitting together until far after midnight without having any solutions. The three of us mainly discussed the question: Where? There was no nice café that had opened Sunday morning just around the corner…

We noticed that the only space we had available on this short notice were our own hotel rooms. Probably our entire hotel woke up by us laughing loudly about the joke: “Imagine, when I come home, I will be able to say: There was Stéphane Lambiel… in my hotel room!“ We weren’t sure back then if you’d accompany Deniss, Stéph.

Sometime during the night after sleeping for a few hours I was able to calm down and think more straight again. I checked the Lufthansa App and found out that it was actually possible to change our booking to a flight that flew to Frankfurt four hours later than our original one. I got the idea to ask in our hotel if there was a possibility to hold the meeting in a free conference room or another silent place. It was all coming together. We got a space in our hotel, we had people who messaged they would come to the meeting, we had the time to sit down and think about some questions that I wanted to ask you, Deniss. You came, you had quite some time, you were incredibly nice and the two of us got more and more relaxed while the interview / meeting went on and I had the feeling that I could continue talking with you forever. You are such an interesting, intelligent, nice, humble and funny person. Before Grenoble I had liked you mostly because of your beautiful and amazing skating, after Grenoble I knew where this was coming from. Before Grenoble I had been amazed by you, after Grenoble I was totally enchanted.

December

I was on endorphins for the next weeks straight. That weekend had been far better and beyond all my expectations.

But at the same time I was afraid: Was it ever going to be that perfect again? Should I maybe keep this one perfect weekend as one magic memory and not let it get destroyed maybe by disappointments coming in the near future? Would I maybe expect too much from future events? I told around: “That weekend was perfect. I will not go again this season. Next season again!“

What a luck I hadn’t been able to resist. Because my heart, longing to see the two of you again, won over my anxious head.

Christmas time came, I followed the Grand Prix Final together with my Mom, we got up in the middle of the night to cheer for Koshiro, we were worried when you, Deniss, withdrew from a competition in Zagreb, were relieved when it was announced that it wasn’t an injury. And we decided that it was finally about time to see you skate live as well, Stéph! So we ordered our tickets for Art on Ice in Davos in February. And with booking those tickets my plan not to go anymore this season had already faded away. I spent hours on the internet searching for possibilities to make it to Minsk for the European Championships. Meanwhile I knew many fans via social media and almost all of them were about to be in Minsk to support you, Deniss. I wanted to be part of it really  badly. As a teacher though it is hard to get days off apart from the public holidays. Flights for the weekend only costed a fortune. It seemed impossible. My frustration grew. I am a person who fights really hard if she really wants something and usually tries everything to make it happen.

January

New years eve came along, together with a very nice and enthusiastic video of the two of you: “We hope to see you in Bellinzona for Music on Ice!“, you said, Stéph. And after countless times watching this lovely video and a sleepless and crazy night from the 1st to the 2nd of January my decision was made: Instead of the impossible mission going to Minsk, I would to go to Music on Ice in Bellinzona. I was going to take a train from my hometown Osnabrück in the Northwest of Germany on Friday afternoon to Stuttgart in the South of Germany. The next morning I was going to take the earliest train to continue traveling all the way to Switzerland where I would arrive in Bellinzona on January 12th at 11 am. I would go to the show on Saturday night and early Sunday morning I was going to take the train back, 10 hours all the way up to Osnabrück where I would arrive at 6 pm, ready to go back to school on Monday morning. But going to the show wasn’t the only plan I had. With help of the amazing Jelena from Daugavpils who runs the official Fan Club on Facebook we activated fans from all over the world to send me pictures with good luck wishes for you for Europeans. I was overwhelmed by the positive responses on the project. I received exactly 50 pictures, most of them amazingly creative.

When I entered the train on Friday afternoon, January 11th 2019, I felt the company of all those 50 people. I was nervous because I hadn’t heard of Chris yet, whom I had messaged with the idea of the project and had asked for an opportunity to give you the album personally.

But the sun was shining, I had motivating music in my ears, the train was riding further and further South and I felt the support of all of my friends and of my mom, who unfortunately couldn’t accompany me this weekend, so the nervousness turned into major excitement.

In Bellinzona I also wasn’t alone at all: I teamed up with two friends that I had both met in Grenoble. After our arrival we checked out the ice rink and sat down on a bench nearby the arena. The girls went through your album, Deniss, when suddenly my phone vibrated and I saw the message: Christopher Trevisan had written: “Hey Judith, can you be at the rink at 15.00?”

Have you ever been waiting for a message to come in for five consecutive days? Do you know that feeling that whenever you get a message you have that slight hope inside you that it could be the one you are waiting for and you get disappointed over and over again? And then the releasing moment comes? And you know my temper, right? Then you can maybe imagine how I screamed and jumped up and down when seeing that message. Did you maybe even hear that scream from somewhere far away that afternoon? Quite possible since Bellinzona isn’t that big and my joy was… LOUD! My two friends shared my joy and enthusiasm but not as loud. We had an “appointment”! I messaged all of my good friends right away: “Appointment at 3 pm!” I was so happy and excited. I carried the hopes and wishes of 50 people in my bag and now I knew I wouldn’t disappoint them.

That moment on the bench had only been the beginning of a day that again turned out so much better than all my expectations:

Hearing you say: “So nice to see you again!”, and being really thankful for the book. Being able to watch all three hours of show rehearsal, including the two of you practicing throw jumps.  Recording an successfully landed throw jump for all my friends and many other fans. Seeing you, Stéph, skate live for the first time in my life. You, that man that had carried me through my teenage years with all your wonderful programs. Finally seeing you perform in person was magical. Seeing that wonderful and touching duet of the two of you. I had tears of joy in my eyes. And that moment after the show when you, Deniss, were walking beneath us and you turned around and came back thanking me for the album: “Thanks for the book. It’s fantastic!” These six words meant so much to me and to all those who had participated. My heart was full of joy and my body full of dancing endorphins again. It didn’t matter at all that the train ride the next day didn’t last ten but twelve hours. I was the happiest and luckiest girl on the planet.

Thanks to my amazing two girls who were my company during these crazy 21 hours I have spent in Bellinzona. Wouldn’t have been the same without those two and we do have an appointment at our “Appointment Bench” next year.

Still… after the Bellinzona - Fun it was getting serious! Europeans were on their way and it felt like the most important competition for you this season, Deniss. The season hadn’t gone as planed yet for sure… plus: Skating really well there would give you the chance to medal. Even though I had been in Bellinzona it was really hard for me to follow the action in Minsk from home. But that week showed me what great friends I had got to know because of you, Deniss. Those girls, who kept me updated the entire week, and never forgot about me were my personal heros. Some special mentions: Jelena, who waved at me through the TV stream during the Ladies Short program. That was so hilarious and made my day. Szilvia, whom I would have loved to share that horrible hostel with. Maybe with the two of us that place would have been less spooky? And thanks to her for sending birthday wishes to my mom during the live stream of your fan meeting, Stéph. Marina, for telling me the “they-only-want-me”- story right after it had happened and for asking Brian Joubert about his inspiration for the tiger jacket. And my amazing girl Maria. Thanks for just everything. I felt with her and like her at every moment during the entire week. I shared her excitement, her fears, worries, tears and joy. And I am proud and thankful to all of the girls who organized both fan meetings and streamed it for us at home. You’ve got the most amazing fans, I really hope you know that both.

Deniss? We all know you gave your best! You wanted it so much and we know you actually are able to do everything you had planed. That makes the outcome of this competition so sad. Thanks for keeping your smile for us fans, thanks for still performing amazingly. Thanks for that intense gala-program. “Iron“ is now one of my personal top 5 programs of all times.

And Stéph? Your week must have been nerve-wracking and cruel. Thanks for being there for your students, giving them strength and confidence. Thanks for trying everything you could to support Deniss and Emmi and still staying that nice and friendly to us fans. The pressure must have been immense. Maria summed it up so perfectly as an Instagram caption, so I will quote her here: “Thanks for being in the world!”

February

During Euros you were so nice to confirm that Team Champéry would keep its tradition and would come to the Cup of Tyrol in Innsbruck, Stéph. The planing for us attending and supporting you at that event started the moment Europeans were over. That Sunday still after watching the Gala my mother and I booked the last available cheap apartment in the city centre of Innsbruck. All February long we were busy planing that trip but hadn’t there been another appointment in February? My second 10 hour long train ride was scheduled from February 15th to February 17th. Osnabrück - Davos and back. Art on Ice was about to happen. I imagined that trip to maybe be a little less exciting. I expected to watch the show, see you perform two wonderful programs and was also looking forward to see James Blunt live again after more than 10 years. Back in 2006 James Blunts concert had been the first concert I had ever visited, so it was going to be a bit nostalgic… But… probably no surprise anymore: Also this trip turned out to be so much better than expected.

The afternoon in Davos was beautiful already, the sun was shining brightly and we had an amazing walk through the snowy landscape. We managed to sneak in to watch the practice again and: I  got the opportunity to talk to you, Stéph. It was short and since totally unexpected I also didn’t really know what to say but it was extremely special for me. And I could take a selfie with you. A picture I had wanted to have ever since my teenage years. I am not the type of person who collects pictures with celebrities. I think asking for a picture is such an unreal and awkward situation. But I really longed for that picture with you, Stéph. With the guy I used to tell all of my friends about, who all didn’t know you, because figure skating is not too popular in Germany. With the guy I had admired ever since my teenage years. With the guy that is in my opinion the most passionate and elegant skater ever. With the guy that touched me to tears and overwhelmed my emotions when skating to the song Goodbye my Lover some hours later. With the guy who gave his second last performance at Art on Ice ever that night.

I read your post about quitting Art on Ice when my train had almost reached Osnabrück again. I felt incredibly sad and incredibly blessed at the same time: I had still been able to see your magic. Art on Ice will miss you incredibly, Stéph. But you surely made the right decision for yourself and we as fans will support you and keep loving you no matter what projects will come for you in the future.

I had two more weeks until the crazy road trip to Innsbruck was about to happen but well… there was one weekend in between. And I found the perfect place to go for that weekend: Barcelona, Spain.

You have already heard some names of great people I got to know because of you two, but I haven’t told you about Laia yet what is a shame because, Deniss, you would certainly like Laia as much as I like her: She’s an artist, she draws amazingly. She’s a baker and an excellent cook. She’s a bit of a philosopher. She is a big Star Wars fan. She’s incredibly funny and sarcastic but at the same time a bit shy and introverted. And she is a big fan of the two of you. Even though you know the story how Laia and I met already, Deniss, I think it’s worth telling it here again: Laia was also at the Grand Prix in Grenoble. I didn’t know her back then. And we also didn’t meet at the event itself. But she was the girl who took the picture of you holding my baked gingerbread lion. I discovered that picture on Instagram some weeks later. We started to chat, and we chatted even more. I talked with her for hours because, Deniss, in many ways she seems like a female version of you.

So at that last weekend in February I took a plane to Barcelona to finally meet her in person. She showed me some skating tricks on the ice and I showed her that the mediterranean sea is not too cold to swim in in February. She introduced me to traditional Catalan food and I brought her some Swiss Chocolate I had bought in Davos.

And she gave me the most precious gift I ever received from anyone: An amazing drawing of you, Deniss, skating to “Iron“. You have seen it in Innsbruck yourself and I am quite sure you will remember it.

So that weekend was another amazing experience thanks to the two of you.

March

“Good morning everyone”, I told my Instagram followers totally excited at the morning of February 28th, “my last big journey of the figure skating season is about to start. I will drive to work first and then I will drive from my school via Frankfurt airport and Munich airport all the way to Innsbruck. It will be a really long journey but I will pick up some amazing girls on the way. And I actually can’t wait to see Deniss and Stéph tomorrow.”

The Cup of Tyrol in Innsbruck was the smallest event I visited this season but it highlighted up everything that had happened before. At the beginning of the season my mom and I had been alone. The trip to Innsbruck ended with seven good friends from five different countries sitting together in a small apartment, laughing and celebrating you, ourselves and life.

Marina had flown to Frankfurt from Kyiv and Szilvia from Budapest. Maria had come from Chelyabinsk, Russia, to Munich. I met both, Marina and Maria for the first time in real life and that alone was really special. Suddenly sitting with those three girls together in my small car, singing along to Britney Spears songs was unreal and amazing enough. But of course we were here to support you, Deniss.

All three of you, Chris included, seemed quite surprised to see us around. Cup of Tyrol was such a small competition. Why should anyone go there? Well, we were and we weren’t the only ones, even though probably the loudest ones. Here are again some very special moments picked from many special moments:

Imitating your car karaoke to Britney’s Toxic on our way to Innsbruck with Marina and Szilvia.

Stepping out of our apartment early Friday morning in Innsbruck and seeing this city in all of its beauty: The river, the colorful houses and the mountains in the beautiful morning sun.

Watching you skate a nice and clean short program after some struggles during practice.

Chris laughing loudly about our designed shirt for you, Deniss: “I am not coaching Stéph!” Do you wear it from time to time? If you don’t I am sure Chris would…

Giving you my self knitted hat in Latvia colors.

Showing you Laias drawing and you complimenting her amazing “shade work”.

You, Stéph, telling us that we were just about to hang up our “Team Champéry banner” mirror converted. Oh dear…

Suffering with every quad attempt. Cheering for every jump that seemed “okay” somehow- especially for underrotated quads…sorry Stéph, but that’s what fans are there for.

Crying with Matilda after her Free Program. It was hard to see this but those moments belong to the sport just as tears of joy at another time. Please, Stéph, tell Matilda, that she is a very beautiful skater. She is very graceful and a joy to watch on the ice and we all hope to see her shining on the ice sometime again.

Calling ourselves to be the “Crazy Rabbit Crew” after constantly eating carrots and joking about what to throw on the ice. Carrots, maybe?

Watching your little extra show on the ice after you won the title, Deniss.

Joking with you, Stéph about our petition to bring Britney Spears to Art on Ice.

And for me, personally, receiving the compliment from you, Stéph, of being such a positive person. I am aware that you, the first time you said it, thought that my positivity was even a bit too much when we discussed the success of your Quad attempts, Deniss, but when we all said goodbye I had the honest feeling that you liked me, Stéph. And that means more than a lot to me!

And of course THAT picture. Yes, again a celebrity picture. But what a special one. Standing in the middle of both of you. In the middle of the two people who made my winter. You didn’t understand it back then, right?

I am sure you understand it now!

Of course Innsbruck hadn’t been the end of the season yet: Worlds were yet to come. Far away in Japan. The competition where you wanted to show everyone what you actually could do. In the country that you love so much and where your season had started. The country on which history your free program was built. The Last Samurai. The last dance of the season. It was a hard week for us as fans because it was obviously a hard week for your whole team. I watched the Short Program locked into the music room of my school during our break. Afterwards I had to teach a Music lesson, singing cheerful and happy songs with eight year olds. It was tough. But I can hardly imagine how tough it was for you.

The free program was a huge fight. After everything you had gone through that week, it was even an incredible fight. The score still wasn’t probably what you had dreamed of neither the placement in the end.

But you can be incredibly proud of that fight, Deniss. This whole season was surely a hard learning process. It was a season without a single competition you were completely happy with. After all the hard work you put in every single day it must be horribly frustrating. I got to know you though as a person who is thinking thoroughly about everything. And I got to know you as a person who is able to see this season as a learning process for the future. You never stopped performing no matter what happened to the jumps. All three programs this year were incredibly well choreographed and performed even better. And during that hard and rocky road you made so many people incredibly happy.

Stéph, this winter was surely also a hard one for you. One of the reasons why I like you that much is that you, just as I do myself, put your whole heart and passion into everything you do. I could feel your pain when things didn’t turn out as you wanted them to go for your skaters. It must be so hard to just watch and not being able to actually do something in those moments. I do imagine those intense emotions you had during your last Art on Ice shows. Thanks so much for sharing some of these moments with us.

And equally I want to thank you, Chris: Thank you so much for being there for the whole team whenever you are needed. Thanks for staying calm, positive and objective throughout the season. Thanks for sometimes probably being the connection between the two artists. I am sure it hasn’t always been easy. Thanks for the great cooperation with us fans. You are doing an amazing job in every way.

You as a team managed to go through this season together and I hope with my whole heart that it brought you even closer together. Success, failure, joy and sorrow are so close together in this sport. The future seasons will bring all of that again. And I am looking forward to laugh, cry and celebrate with you again next winter and hopefully many more winters. Until then I will spend time with some of the amazing people I met on the road. Next weekend Szilvia and I will visit Marina in Kyiv. It will be another amazing trip. You are about to make my spring, too!

[angeltriestoblog]

I watched a couple of movies! (Part 1)

Back when I regularly had the luxury of long breaks, I spent my days binge-watching films, as you can see from my extensive knowledge of 80s chick flicks and all the cheesy tropes and disgustingly adorable, predominantly white leading men that come with them. Sadly, a side effect of growing older in the digital age seemed to be the diminishment of my attention span: the only things I could focus on were academic requirements, simply because I had to. But, thanks to several factors—the suspension of online classes, the sudden annoyance I developed towards Barney Stinson that prompted me to discontinue How I Met Your Mother, etc.—I decided it was high time to rekindle this lost love. So, here is an unsolicited review of the 17 films I managed to finish in a little over a week! Rest assured, I tried my best to venture out of familiar territory and brush up on some of the more cultured picks, according to Letterboxd, at least.

Bar Boys (2017, dir. Kip Oebanda) ★★★

The film that kickstarted everything, which I never would have seen if the director had not uploaded the full version on YouTube. This well-meaning tale of four best friends (Carlo Aquino, Rocco Nacino, Enzo Pineda, and Kean Cipriano) and the challenges they face in law school—terror professors, fraternities, and financial difficulties included—does have a lot of heart, and is sensitive enough to show how the effect of this experience differs depending on a student's background. But, what it lacked for me was a certain degree of specificity: I think the same premise would have been applicable in med school, or any other post-graduate degree for that matter. So, why did the characters choose law? I also would have appreciated some commentary on the shortcomings of the country’s justice system, and further fleshing out of the characters so the audience could have seen why we could count on them to fill in the gaps.

Legally Blonde (2001, dir. Robert Luketic) ★★★½

The rating might be surprising, considering that the courtroom scene was responsible for the short law school phase I had in Grade 5. As if I could ever make use of the rules of haircare in an actual cross-examination. Of course, I am compelled to admire Elle (Reese Witherspoon) and how her motivations for going to Harvard shift from winning back a boy to discovering what she never knew she had and using these gifts to help those around her (especially the manicurist, who I feel was given way more exposure than what was due to her). Ultimately, though it was inspirational at some points, it felt too good to be true and impossible to relate to. (But then again, shouldn’t there be a willing suspension of disbelief when consuming forms of media such as this?)

Lady Bird (2017, dir. Greta Gerwig) ★★★★★

I’ll probably end up making a separate post dedicated to this movie and how it singlehandedly called me out, as a sensitive, occasionally self-important product of an all-girls Catholic high school. For now, I am forced to condense my overflowing feelings into a couple of sentences. Lady Bird takes place over the course of the titular character's senior year, a pivotal moment in the lives of all teenagers. But, instead of focusing solely on the formulaic firsts like the normal coming-of-age film would, it shines a light on her dwindling relationship with her equally strong-willed mother. Saoirse Ronan’s colorful performance as the human embodiment of my pre-teen self's conscience, and Greta Gerwig’s tremendous ability to make even oddly specific scenes speak to any viewer shine through and speak to me the most, and easily make this gem something I will be recommending this to anyone who bothers to ask for as long as I live.

Bohemian Rhapsody (2018, dir. Bryan Singer) ★★★

There’s a lot of controversy surrounding Bo Rhap, particularly its failure to portray Freddie Mercury in a manner that does him justice. While I understand that it is a valid concern for fans of the band, I admit I don’t know enough about who he was as a person to criticize the film in this aspect. Regardless of its factuality, this still was just average for me, the typical rise-and-fall type of biopic that is indicative of a rockstar’s legacy, but with laughably faulty editing. The redeeming factors were Rami Malek’s brilliant portrayal of the legend himself—his Live Aid performance gave me chills that lasted the entire 20 minutes, how alarming—and, obviously, the soundtrack that I kept on loop for several days.

About Time (2013, dir. Richard Curtis) ★

Apparently, this movie focuses on Tim (Domhnall Gleeson), who discovers at age 21 that the men in his family have the power to time-travel and thus revise and repair certain parts of their lives. He uses this to address the fact that he’s never had a girlfriend, and effectively so as he ends up bagging Mary (Rachel McAdams), a charming American who is the settler in this relationship by default. But, of course, this gift is not without its dire consequences—or at least, that’s what it says on Wikipedia. It’s hard to trash on this and admit that I bailed halfway because so many of my friends swear by this. But, I just couldn’t stomach the lack of chemistry between the two leads; the surprisingly boring dialogue for a screenplay crafted by Richard Curtis of Notting Hill fame; and the story that, although bore enough of a resemblance to “The Time Traveler’s Wife” to be interesting, was still not powerful enough to sustain my attention.

Your Name (2016, dir. Makoto Shinkai) ★★★★★

I’m a huge fan of plots that are sure to make my eyes swell and heart hurt—I can’t explain the psychology behind this either. So when this was recommended to me and I had made it through an hour without shedding a single tear, I was prepared to be disappointed. But, the events leading up to the conclusion proceeded to rip me into shreds, as if to taunt me and say, “You asked for it.” Mitsuha (Mone Kamishiraishi) and Taki (Ryunosuke Kamiki), teenagers living on opposite sides of the country, suddenly start switching bodies following the appearance of a comet. This unexplainable phenomenon causes them to forge an unbreakable bond that transcends the very limits of time and space. I know the description is not much, but it’s best to experience this unique plot for yourself. Besides its storyline, its charm lies in its excruciating attention to detail in depicting life in urban and rural Japan, both in the realistic animation of one picturesque scene after another, and the use of cultural elements to arrive at a twist viewers will not see coming.

Booksmart (2019, dir. Olivia Wilde) ★★★★½

I can't summarize what I imagine Booksmart to be for teenagers in the future, so here's an entire scenario: It's the year 2070. Two young girls of around 16 are sprawled on their bedroom floor, watching this on whatever device they use for streaming. (Maybe it's from an LCD projector embedded in their foreheads, who knows.) The credits roll, and they instantly think to themselves, "Man, we were born in the wrong generation!" (They simultaneously think of doing a high-five, and without raising their hands themselves, it happens because that's technology.) Anyway, Amy (Kaitlyn Dever) and Molly (Beanie Feldstein) are best friends who played by the rules all throughout high school and realized too late that they could’ve afforded to have a little more fun. On the eve of their graduation, they decide to cram four years’ worth of adventure in a single unpredictable and outrageous night, getting to grips with everything that comes their way in an exceedingly comedic yet refreshing fashion. Also, the protagonists have such a genuine and wholesome relationship: the way they hyped up their most ridiculous looking outfits, or overshared borderline uncomfortable stories is honestly my personal definition of an ideal friendship.

When Harry Met Sally (1989, dir. Rob Reiner) ★★★★½

Despite this film’s constant presence in every “chick flicks you must watch” list I’ve bothered searching up, I spent a huge chunk of my teen years in constant protest against the decision to cast Billy Crystal as the male lead instead of, I don’t know, literally any other actor on the planet. But, once I finished it, I realized that he’s a much better fit than I thought. The laidback Harry to Meg Ryan’s finicky Sally, both of them spare no effort exploring and debunking truths and misconceptions about modern relationships: examples of which are the idea of being high maintenance, and the quintessential question of whether a guy and girl can ever be just friends. Although their dynamic is the definition of slow burn, audiences can’t help but earnestly root for the pair—the frustration brought by the several almosts pay off in the end, as they lead to one of, if not, the most romantic love confession scene.

Hintayan ng Langit (2018, dir. Dan Villegas) ★★★★½

This tale adapted from a play by no less than Juan Miguel Severo is set in purgatory—a grandiose art museum-four star hotel hybrid of sorts—where souls can stop and rest while their papers for entry to heaven are being processed. It is here we meet Manolo (Eddie Garcia) and Lisang (Gina Pareno), ex-lovers with unfinished business. Things admittedly start off a bit slow, but it's understandable since there needs to be ample provision of context regarding the standard operating procedures of this unique waiting area. Once that’s done, the focus stays on the main actors, who drive audiences to tears with their powerful performances, and thought-provoking questions on matters of betrayal, forgiveness, and the afterlife. The ending had me rocking back and forth like a baby, my shirt soaked with tears, so do take heed and stock up on tissues!

The Social Network (2010, dir. David Fincher) ★★★★★

Within its packed first 15 minutes alone, you can easily see what makes The Social Network an example of cinema at its finest: an intoxicated Mark Zuckerberg (Jesse Eisenberg) hacks into the websites of all Harvard dorms to create Facebook’s oldest ancestor from scratch, in an attempt to get back at his ex-girlfriend. The atmosphere is tense, the dialogue is loaded with witty one-liners and powerful insight, and the actors are so in touch with their characters they practically fuse into a single person. This remains consistent for the next two hours or so, making for an enjoyable and fast-paced, yet still informative glimpse into the human side of what is arguable the most powerful company of this era. I also heard that it’s much more fun if seen with the cast commentary on, so I’m gonna have to find a copy of that for myself!

Pretty in Pink (1986, dir. Howard Deutch) ★★★★★

I’m cheating here, I know: this has been a long-time favorite, but I guess I can still give a review if I was still 15 when I last saw this. Andie (Molly Ringwald) and Blane (Andrew McCarthy)’s classic “poor girl + rich boy = happily ever after” story is masterfully tackled by John Hughes, who manages to inject equal amounts of swoon-worthy romance and biting criticism of the inherent class divide in society. Others would argue that Duckie (Jon Cryer), Andie’s devoted best friend, is the true star of the show, and while I do agree that he has his shining moments (if you listen closely, you can hear Try A Little Tenderness playing softly in the background), I sadly inherited my mother’s adoration for Andrew, which I will pass on to my child and so on—truly the defining characteristic of our lineage.

St. Elmo’s Fire (1985, dir. Joel Schumacher) ½

I understand that being an adult in the Real World is bound to come with some grave mistakes and lapses in judgment. But, not a single character in this friend group redeems themselves by the end. While Ally Sheedy’s Leslie and Mare Winningham’s Wendy were just borderline forgettable (why did the latter even end up here with the Brat Pack?), Judd Nelson’s Alec cheats on his girlfriend and believes that marriage is what will make him change his ways; Rob Lowe’s Billy neglects the family he didn’t plan on having by fooling around with other women and making a home out of his favorite bar; Demi Moore’s Jules relies on cocaine and extramarital affairs to hide trauma she refuses to process, and Andrew McCarthy’s pretentiously cynical Kevin suddenly claims he knows what love is when Leslie pays attention to him for 10 minutes. But, none of them compare to Emilio Estevez’ Kirby, the sociopath obsessed with a girl he barely knows. It honestly resembles some sick contest of how many problems this gang can cause before they end up behind bars, with the last scene being a lazy and rushed attempt to wrap everything up, in the name of this surface-level “friendship”.

Before Sunrise, Sunset, and Midnight (1995, 2004, 2013; dir. Richard Linklater) ★★★★★

Guess it’s better to admit it now, but I made this post as an excuse to rave about how beautiful this trilogy is, the most authentic depiction of love in its purest form. Sunrise has been recommended to me by both friends and the Netflix algorithm, but I put off watching it again and again and again. I mean, what could I possibly get out of looking at two strangers roam around Vienna? Well, to answer that question: quite a lot. Jesse (Ethan Hawke) and Celine (Julie Delpy)’s relationship spans an entire trilogy, and throughout that period, they manage to define then destroy the idea of having a soulmate to call your own in approximately six hours. But certain constancies are present in each movie: the emotion intense even in the smallest of gestures (you don't understand the anguish I feel when the scene at the listening booth randomly pops in my head), the dialogue truly thought-provoking and natural, the settings so picturesque, and the chemistry of the actors so electric I have trouble believing that the director didn’t actually invade the personal space of a real couple and eventually get issued a restraining order.

High Fidelity (2000, dir. Stephen Frears) ★★

I’d like to think of this as an essay: I'm confident that the introduction is the protagonist Rob's soliloquy on his five biggest breakups to understand why he’s so flawed that everyone always leaves him, and the conclusion his attempt to win his ex Laura (Iben Hjejle) back. But as for the body, I’m not entirely sure. Interspersed between these moments are thoughtful top five lists of anything that can be enumerated, and occasional banter with the employees at his record store that may be charming, but do not enhance the film in any way, shape, or form for me. Also, I normally enjoy seeing John Cusack onscreen, but more often than not, he was nagging in front of the camera instead of talking to the people around him; no wonder his relationships failed!

Scott Pilgrim vs the World (2010, dir. Edgar Wright) ★★★

I wanted to enjoy this so bad, I swear! Sadly, the one thing I gained after seeing this is knowledge of where the “I’m So Sad, So Very Very Sad” meme came from. I get that it’s supposed to resemble a comic book or video game, and maybe the reason why I failed to appreciate this as much is because I was never a fan of either. I found the prolonged action scenes surprisingly boring, the storyline too fantastic, and the whole quest of having to defeat seven monstrous exes for the hand of a manic pixie dream girl not worth it in the end. Although I can’t give it less than three stars given its impressive visual effects, and appeal to the entire Tumblr community (gamers on one end, millennial film connoisseurs on the other), it’s definitely not something I would watch a second time.

There will surely be more where that came from! (I mean it. Since completing this post, I’ve finished another five films.) If you wanna keep tabs on what I’m watching without having to wait on another post, you can give my Letterboxd a follow. Wishing you love and light always, and don’t forget to wash your hands and pray for our frontliners!