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ozai-the-bonsai · 6 months

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Cry for the Moon

Pairing: Zuko x firebender!reader

Warnings: none

A/N: I did end up writing more, thus we get to see our fav boy Zuko in the upcoming chapter - but I quite enjoyed writing this one and digging deeper into the internal struggles of the reader! I hope you enjoy reading this chapter as much as I did writing it ^.^

Taglist: @annonymatic @yoongiesstar @lost-inthe-v0id @lokigodofmyheart @4l3x1s @potato87123 @asciendo @angelruinz @unamused-boss @junieshohoho @yourlivewire @itszzmoon @coolgirl458 @vyliie

Mai’s raven hair was, just as you had last seen her, partly in two small buns and the rest fell on her shoulders. The dark, sleeveless jacket seemed to be a new one but other than that, her maroon clothing and black, fingerless gloves were the same as always.

As soon as your amber eyes found the slim figure of Mai, an uneasy feeling appeared in your stomach. Even the mere sight of her made you uncomfortable for every time you laid your eyes on her, the fact that you were never going to get your former best friend back hit you like a wall of bricks.

Even after Zuko’s banishment, or after you got together with Shuzi, the raven-haired girl insisted on keeping her distance from you. Not that you would easily forgive her, of course, but you found her stubbornness childish from time to time.

[Flashback]

You found Mai sitting on her swing at the backyard of her parents’ house, moving back and forth ever so slowly. The dull expression on her face became duller, as if it was possible in the first place. You felt the heaviness on your heart growing.

“Mai, I know there is something bothering you.” You said as you approached her carefully, you were afraid she would run away just like a cat. “Please, talk to me.”

Mai shook her head. “No, I don’t want to.” She said, it was obvious that she was trying to hide the sorrow away, but she was so heartbroken that made it almost impossible. “I cannot stand looking at you anymore!”

You felt tears rushing to your eyes, but you quickly sent them back. “Why? What have I done to you?” You asked as you sat next to her on the swing. “Mai, you are my best friend. I don’t want to lose you.”

“It just hurts too much,” she muttered while kicking the stones on the ground. “Seeing you and him together all the time.”

She was talking about Zuko.

“Mai, I…” Honestly, you didn’t know what to say. You were aware of Mai’s obvious crush on Zuko for years, but everyone knew that it was decided long, long ago that you were going to be his future wife. “You know that our parents have decided that when we were just babies.”

Suddenly, Mai stood up from the swing with a furious aura surrounding her. “I love him, okay? I should be the one with him! You… You are just acting that way because of this stupid arranged marriage!”

For the first time in your thirteen years of life, you heard Mai screaming.

You swallowed for a few times to destroy the lump in your throat, you were on the verge of breaking down. “What makes you believe that I don’t love him?” You asked with a low voice, trying to keep your emotions under control.

Mai let out a scornful laughter. “Ah, please. Zuko - he is a fool for you, but you are simply with him for the sake of duty and power. It is obvious.”

Slowly, you felt sorrow turning into fury as you stood up from the swing. “You are wrong.” You said with a cold tone. “I do love him. And if you had been really my best friend, you would have known that. You would have seen that.” As you shook your head, you turned back to leave Mai all alone. “As it turns out, you were only acting to be my friend. Out of duty.”

[Flashback ends]

Mai didn’t even look at you as she put her hands together and bowed slightly towards Azula. “Please tell me you are here to kill me.” She spoke with her usual, dull, emotionless tone. Then, she looked up at Azula with a slight smile on her lips.

Azula placed her hands on Mai’s shoulders as she giggled. “It is great to see you, Mai.”

Ty Lee rushed forwards to give Mai a big hug, ignoring the fact that Mai was not a fan of hugs. The gloomy girl gave Ty Lee an uncomfortable pat on the back. “I thought you ran off and joined the circus.” Mai said as she stepped back from the hug. “You said it was your calling.”

“Well, Azula called a little louder.” Ty Lee said, hiding the sarcasm in her tone skilfully, only you knew what she really meant by that. Once again, you found yourself feeling sorry for the poor girl – she only wanted to follow her passion.

Slowly, Mai turned her head to meet your amber eyes. “Hey,” she said with a small nod, her voice lacked even the tiniest bit of emotion.

You, too, had put on your resting bitch face. “Hey.”

Azula rolled her eyes in an exaggerated way. “Oh, come on! It has been three damn years.” The Princess turned her gaze to Mai, pointing at you with her right index finger. “She has been dating someone else for the last six month and none of you have seen my fool of a brother in over three years!” Azula took a deep breath to try and calm herself down. “Just leave that childish drama behind you already!”

Well, I kind of saw him a few days ago … which caused weird feelings and thoughts to arise …

Before you or Mai could say anything, Ty Lee spoke. “Well, technically, the arranged marriage is still on – as long as Zuko comes back with the Avatar, right?”

You let out a scornful laughter. “Ah, please, as if he stands any chance now that we are on the hunt as well.”

Azula looked at you with a smirk on her lips. “That’s my girl.” You winked at the Princess, who turned her gaze to Mai once again. “I have a mission and I need you all.” She said as she laid her right hand on your shoulder, her eyes wandering between all three of you.

“Count me in.” Mai spoke with an annoyed expression on her face. “Anything to get me out of this place.”

[Time Skip]

You shielded your amber eyes from the sun as you approached the three figures standing on the other side of the road. Two of them, who were standing on the sides, were wearing blue clothing that resembled those from the Watertribes.

The boy on the left was holding a baby, probably Mai’s brother, and had his hair in a stylish ponytail. To the right stood the girl with hair loopies and a water bag. The boy in the middle was, unlike the other two, in yellow-orange clothing with an orange hat-like piece on his head. You raised an eyebrow to yourself upon seeing that he was carrying a staff.

As she was the one responsible to carry out the trade, Mai stood forth and the rest of you waited behind her. Meanwhile, a crane was lowering the metal cage that held King Bumi of Omashu as hostage.

Quickly, you eyed Azula up – you were sure she had another motive behind this trade. A baby for a king, eh? I don’t believe this is something Azula would approve of.

“You brought my brother?” Mai asked. The boy with the staff nodded as he pointed to his left, showing the baby.

“He is here.” The boy said. “We are ready to trade.”

Just as you expected, Azula interrupted. You couldn’t help but smirk. “I am sorry, but a thought just occurred to me.” Azula spoke so naturally, it was impossible to point it out as perfect acting if one didn’t know Azula good enough. “Do you mind?”

Mai turned to Azula. “Of course not, Princess Azula.”

For a moment, it seemed as if Azula was weighing down some options. “We are trading a two-year-old for a king,” she said at the end as she looked up at the King of Omashu with an arched brow. “A powerful, earthbending king?”

The King himself nodded.

Azula’s eyes wandered between you, Ty Lee and Mai. “It just doesn’t seem like a fair trade, does it?”

You kept your chuckling to a minimum to avoid being heard, you had known that exactly this was going to happen. Knowing Azula good enough, it was to await that she would have an ulterior motive in taking the matters in Omashu – or rather New Ozai as the Princess had recently renamed the city – in her own hands.

It was Mai’s call now, she had to decide between family and duty.

“You are right,” Mai said with a voice that lacked even the slightest bit of emotion, even towards her own little brother. Well, one could clearly see that her brother was – at least for now – in good hands since the boy in blue clothing did his best to keep the baby safe and comfortable.

She probably wants to carry out Azula’s part of the plan first.

“The deal’s off!” Mai announced and held up her hand, gesturing the guards to pull the King back up.

However, no one – and especially you – wasn’t expecting the boy in the middle with yellow clothing to start using his glider to fly behind the King. Without even thinking about it, you reacted the same way as Azula and you both sent flames in his direction to block his path. The boy dodged the flames by leaping high into the air.

Did he just… Airbend?

As the boy used his glider with airbending, he lost his hat, leaving his arrow tattoo exposed. You and Azula gasped at the same time. “The Avatar!” You both said simultaneously.

A smug smile formed on Azula’s lips. “My lucky day,” she muttered more to herself, then she called out your name. “Follow me!”

[Time Skip]

The attempt to capture the Avatar in Omashu had, unfortunately, been unsuccessful – but it was something to expect considering that none of you were prepared to face the Last Airbender and a King that could earthbend simply with his face.

As the royal palanquin was being carried out the city; you, Mai and Ty Lee walked besides. You felt yourself sailing from one thought to another, dangerously close to getting lost in the vast ocean that is your mind. Chasing the Avatar made you realise something: you had never thought about how it would make you feel while helping Azula capture the world’s last hope.

You had complicated feelings and thoughts considering the war, the Fire Lord and the Avatar. It was for a fact that you despised Fire Lord Ozai after everything he had done to Zuko and Azula, you held him directly responsible for Azula’s corruption.

Of course, there had been a big Ursa factor as well, but that was a whole different topic.

Even though you were loyal to your nation until the very end, you didn’t really want to see Fire Lord Ozai becoming the supreme ruler over the Four Nations. He was a horrible man, he lacked even the slightest bit of empathy and compassion. A man who was incapable of loving his own children should be, under no circumstances, given such great power over all of humanity and its destiny.

But then, there was Azula.

You had mastered the skill of detaching your emotions from your actions when it came to her, which enabled you to carry out tasks which would otherwise burden you when awake, asleep and even dead. Your loyalty, compassion, and love towards Azula was stronger than everything you had known – well, except for the love you had felt for Zuko, but that was long gone.

You knew you needed more time to reflect upon this dissonance you were experiencing but you believed that standing with Azula was more valuable than anything you could think of at that moment. All these years, you had put in so much effort, time, and tenderness into your relationship with her – even the mere thought of doing the slightest thing to shake her trust brought you on the verge of a break down.

“So, we are tracking down your brother and Uncle, huh?” Mai asked, which caused you to come back to the present moment. You shook yourself.

Ty Lee giggled. “It will be interesting seeing Zuko again,” she spoke teasingly, “won’t it, Mai?”

At first, you kind of waited Ty Lee to divert the same question to you and correct herself but quickly, you remembered that you had been together with Shuzi for over half a year. Whether you would see Zuko again or not didn’t really matter anymore, despite the arranged marriage still not being called off.

“It is not just Zuko and Iroh anymore,” Azula spoke with a serious tone. “We have a third target now. The Avatar.”

You felt knots in your stomach.

As you headed towards the ship to spend the night and plan the rest of your mission, Azula explained Mai and Ty Lee why she decided to leave the royal guards and the navy ship behind. The main problem was to find a means of transportation that was fast, could go over any kinds of terrain without having the need to find a road and was strong enough to overcome any bending.

“What about using a tank train?” You suggested, earning an intrigued look from Azula, who was still sitting in the royal palanquin. “I am sure the army can spare one of them for the Princess’ mission.”

Azula made an approving sound. “That is actually brilliant,” she muttered, more to herself. “They are designed to travel at high speeds over most terrain without the use of tracks, but they can still accommodate many people – we can take some servants with us to run the errands.”

Ty Lee seemed a little bit uncomfortable. “I don’t want to be stuck in a metal machine for days – I need sunlight!” She was playing anxiously with her braid.

“I wouldn’t mind not having to see the sun for a while,” Mai muttered, not much to your surprise. “I don’t like the way it disturbs my eyes.”

“You would rather live in a black hole for the rest of your life.” Ty Lee rolled her eyes at Mai, causing her to shoot an angry glance. You bit the inside of your cheek not to laugh – Ty Lee was more than right in her statement. If you gave Mai a bucket of never-ending black paint and a brush that could be extended as much as one needed, she wouldn’t rest until she painted the whole sky black – setting aside the fact that such a thing is impossible to carry out.

The Princess heaved a sigh. “You can jump onto the roof to do your sunbathing, Ty Lee, as long as the insects flying at your face do not disturb you.” Ty Lee grimaced upon hearing Azula’s words. “And Mai, you are free to lock yourself up in a dungeon, as long as you are there to fight whenever I need you to.”

This time, you couldn’t hold back your laugh. Azula raised an eyebrow as she looked at you, whereas Mai and Ty Lee carried annoyed expressions.

“Do you also have a specific request?” Azula asked you. “And no, you are not allowed to bring your dog to our mission.”

You rolled your eyes at her. “For the last time, Azula, he is not a dog – I am not putting anyone on a leash.” Upon hearing Mai mutter something under her breath, you shot her a warning look and turned back to Azula. “And no, I am completely fine, as long as you leave those two sisters back on the ship.”

It was no secret that you despised Lo and Li, your hatred towards the sisters seemed to both amuse and entertain Azula every time. The Princess let out a small laughter.

[Time Skip]

The whole ship was asleep as you sat on the front porch, watching the night sky while the cool wind played with your hair, which wasn’t in the top not anymore. It was cool outside; you shivered and wrapped your arms tighter around your body – the red gown wasn’t thick enough to keep you warm. Heaving a sigh, you used your breath of fire to get rid of the shivering.

Ever since you had agreed to help Azula on her mission, you found yourself carrying out inner battles more often than usual. They used to be, when Zuko’s banishment was just new, the only thing you had known for a long while; however, after accepting the hard truth, you thought the battles would be finally over.

And they were, for the last two years, you didn’t have to deal with any internal conflict.

Until the thoughts about the Banished Prince and your distant past crept out from the dusty corners of your mind. You thought you had forgot him long ago – everything about him had to be burnt to ashes. As it seems, this had never been the case, the realisation of which was hitting you just now.

There was no compassion for him left in you, this was the truth; however, your past feelings for Zuko were still enough to confuse you, to distract you. It was like a sweet poison: the embrace of those distant memories felt oh so sweet and familiar – it felt just like home – but when you realised that they were in fact chocking you, drowning you – it would be too late.

I should have never let my mind wander off to those forbidden territories of my own memory. You thought to yourself as you breathed out crimson flames, the gentle touch of the wind was making you shiver once again. I cannot allow myself to get distracted. Not now.

Maybe… Maybe I should just face him.

That particular thought seemed to strike interest and excitement within you. Ever since the Banished Prince abandoned you on the deck when he left the Fire Nation, you secretly had been craving to face him and scream at him, tell him all those wicked things you wished he had heard from you.

Tell him how he broke your heart to a million pieces, burnt all your love to ashes and threw them out into the vast ocean.

And thank him for letting you turn into this thing that could disconnect her emotions from her actions simply by taking a deep breath and thinking about the strong bond she shared with his sister.

“You keep lecturing me about getting enough sleep and yet here you are – not sleeping.”

You chuckled as you turned left to look at Azula, who was standing next to you. She, too, was in a red robe, but hers was adorned in gold around the collar and the sleeves. She had let her dark hair down, which looked absolutely pretty either way.

“Do as I say and not as I do, Princess.” You responded, gaining an eyeroll from her. Slowly, you stood up. “I have trouble sleeping.”

Azula nodded, she also seemed thoughtful. “I understand.” She paused for a moment. “You were thinking about my brother, weren’t you?”

You didn’t see any point in lying – Azula knew you good enough to tell when you were hiding something, just like you could do it with her. “He started messing with my head, again.” You spoke with a low tone, avoiding Azula’s amber eyes as you looked at the dark waters ahead of you.

The Princess laid her hand on your shoulder with a soft manner. “I can understand why his presence would confuse you,” the warmth in her tone caused you to meet her gaze. “But I need you in her best form and mind – distractions are not something we can allow at this moment.”

It was quite rare but sometimes, when it was just the two of you, Azula would let her shields and icy walls down. Every time when such a time came, you couldn’t help but adore how much she trusted you – you doubted that even her own family knew this side of Azula.

You nodded with a small smile on your lips. “I am very well aware of that, and I do not intend to disappoint you, Azula.”

The hints of a smile could also be seen on Azula’s lips as well. “You have given me no reason to think you would disappoint me.”

“I really appreciate your words, sweetheart.” Your amber eyes lit up with happiness. “For the matter of your brother, I think I have found a solution – I am going to put an end to these distractions.”

“Exactly what I was hoping to hear,” Azula said as the edge of her lips curled upwards. Then, she gave your shoulder a small squeeze. “Come on now, we both need our beauty sleep – or you are going to end up having eye rings, remember?”

You grimaced as you followed Azula into the ship. “Nobody wants that.”

#prince zuko #atla zuko #zuko x reader #the last airbender #avatar the last airbender #princess azula #zuko #zuko x oc

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swarvey · 3 months

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I honestly love how you're writing and am trying to learn from it. Could I please request how they would be as parents? I don't care who, have fun with it. I just like reading your stuff ☺️

how he is as a parent | sdv x g/n!reader

after settling down together on the farm, you and alex decide to take the next step and bring a baby into your life.

a/n: awww you are so, so sweet! this actually means the world to me <3 alex was the main character who came to mind, but i'm open to writing more! enjoy <3

alex

absolutely cannot wait to be a dad.

he's thought about it countless times, especially when his father treated him badly

doesn't ever let himself become discouraged by his own experience though, he actually uses it as motivation

will definitely spoil the hell out of your kid, no matter what

the thought of alex with a daughter is especially heartwarming to me though ...

(definitely the dad to hunt down her ex bf)

"come on, honey, open the door," you sigh, knocking on the entrance to your teenage daughter's room. "you have to eat dinner."

no response, though your heart breaks at the sound of her crying quietly. alex walks up behind you, placing a hand on your shoulder. you place yours on top of it, looking at him worriedly.

"she still hasn't come out?" he asks, shocked. "here, let me try." you gladly let him take your place by the door, rubbing your face in exhaustion. you've been trying to coax her to come out for the past hour.

"honey, it's dad!" alex calls out. you can tell he's trying to sound normal, though the worry glazing his eyes gives him away. "why don't you at least open the door so we can give you a plate of food, sweetie? you shouldn't go to bed on an empty stomach, it's not good for you."

"i'll eat later, dad," she replies, her watery voice just barely making it past the door. "i'm not hungry."

he freezes. "are you crying?" he turns to you, concern washing over his face. "now you really have to open this door, sweetheart, or else we'll have to call robin over to fix it after i bust it down."

"alex!" you say, smacking his arm. "you are not breaking down this door."

"oh, i definitely will. i think you forget you're talking to a former aspiring gridball player — i have personalized routines for my shoulders, back, biceps, pecs—"

"okay, okay! i get it!" both of you hear your daughter sigh as she slowly opens the door, revealing her tear-streaked face and bloodshot eyes. "sorry for making you worry," she mumbles, falling into alex's open arms. you rub her back as she continues to cry, hiding her face in his shoulder.

"you have nothing to be sorry for," you reassure. "just tell us what's wrong."

alex lifts her face, pinching her nose playfully. you can't help but smile as he makes her laugh, more than glad to see her break out of her sadness even for a moment.

"that's completely right," alex agrees. there's a certain sweetness in his voice he only uses for his daughter. "you can talk to us, okay? what happened?"

she sniffs and wipes her eyes before replying, "my boyfriend broke up with me."

"he what?!"

any composure your husband had is thrown out the window. you stifle a laugh at your daughter's shocked face as alex picks her up effortlessly, carrying her bridal-style towards the front of the house with you trailing behind them.

"honey, where do you keep your tools again? i think we'll be needing your axe."

"dad, what are you—"

"or your sword! that would probably be more scary, right?" he pauses, turning to you with a smile. "i mean, i was pretty scared when i saw you holding a sword for the first time."

you and your daughter laugh loudly, tears forgotten as alex continues to storm around the house with her in his arms, demanding to know where he lives and how muscular he is. you watch idly, suddenly emotional as you realize his dream of becoming a good dad has become a reality. unexpected tears fill your eyes, just as they round back to where you're standing.

alex stops in his tracks. "now my other baby's crying," he sighs, "and i really have no clue why this time. well!" he sets his daughter down, ruffling her hair. "give me one second, princess."

"alex, don't you dare," you threaten, backing away. "i'm warning you!"

the night ends with your daughter happily eating dinner while alex pleads you to forgive him for tickling you.

#sdv #stardew valley #stardew valley x reader #sdv x reader #sdv x farmer #stardew valley x farmer #sdv alex #sdv alex x farmer #sdv alex x reader #fanfic #fanfiction #.lin’s asks!

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blossom-works · 1 year

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Home for My Heart: At His Happiest

Almost a whole year of Kylian getting to experience one of the happiest times of his life with the woman he loves the most.

Warnings: Mentions of miscarriage, descriptions of vaginal birth, vomiting

---

With a big smile, you watch your husband do a celebratory dance. He still has your pregnancy test in hand, and Kylian’s dimples are on full display. With two big steps, he goes back to the white box and silently squeals at the crochet cleats and ball. While you cannot entirely see his face, only the side of it, you know that Kylian is thinking about the child that will one day be here. He places one of the cleats into the palm of his hand, and you watch as Kylian marvels at its size. It barely fills the length of his palm. Kylian puts everything back in the box and magically appears in front of you. His hands cup your cheeks and he plants one of the biggest kisses he can on your lips. Kylian’s passionate kiss is a bit too passionate for your liking. He is starting to hurt your cheeks with how hard he is pushing against them.

You pull his hands off your face and your face away from his. “I’ll take it that you’re happy.”

“Chérie, c'est la meilleure nouvelle que j'ai jamais entendue ! Nous allons être parents ! Nous devons le dire à nos familles !“ You have to flinch at how loud Kylian has gotten. Honey, that's the best news I've ever heard! We are going to be parents! We need to tell our families!

Now it is your turn to cup his cheeks. “I know you’re excited, but I want us to hold off on telling people.”

“Huh? But why?” Just what in the world is holding you back? This is probably the best thing that has happened to you two. Why not celebrate it with your friends and families?

Putting on your serious face, you say “Look, I’m just as excited as you are, but the first trimester is the most crucial. I don’t want to freak you out or make you worried, but about eighty percent of miscarriages happen during the first trimester. I don’t want to get everyone excited only to-” you say the last part in a whisper. “Lose the baby.”

Your talk of reality brings Kylian down from his high. Hearing what you have to say, Kylian nods his head and kisses your forehead. Hugging you, Kylian tells you that you two have nothing to worry about and that he cannot wait to tell everyone that you will be parents. The box of goodies sits on the table while you and Kylian fantasize about life as parents.

“What do you think it’ll be?”

“I would have to say boy since your family has a lot of boys.”

“But your family has a lot of girls.”

“Yeah, but you’re the one who gives the last chromosome. X or Y.”

Kylian shrugs his shoulders to your truth. His hand has not left your stomach. If anything, that one spot is getting a bit sweaty. You tried to move his hand, but Kylian swiped your hand away.

“What about names?” You ask.

“Mmmm...Kylian Jr.?”

You lift your head at him and raise a brow. “I refuse to let my child be named Jr.”

“What? Why not? Kylian is a great name.”

“No, you’re just fueling your own ego. Besides, I will refuse to have sex with you if your child has the same name as you.”

Kylian looks at you like you just grew two heads, but the more he thinks about it, the more your outrageous statement makes sense. He grimaces at the thought and agrees that Kylian Jr. is off the table.

“What about football? Would you want our kids to pursue a career in it? Especially if we have a son.”

Your husband hums. “I would like them to at least love the sport, but if they have a passion for it like I did, then I would want them to go after their passion.”

“And what if they don’t like football?”

“It would break my heart.” He tells honestly. “But I can’t force it on them. Especially when they get older.”

You and Kylian talk more and more about your future with kids. Going over all the “what ifs” your heads can think of. The more you guys talk about the baby forming in your womb, the more excited Kylian is. He has always been good with children and has always wanted kids of his own, but he chose to focus on his career. When Kylian got older, the urge to settle down and have kids grew. He is lucky that you wanted kids just as bad as he did because if he had to wait any longer, Kylian may just end up going crazy. When you were just dating, Kylian saw how you treated your nieces and nephews. You loved and doted on them as much as you could, but you would also scold them if they got into trouble. Kylian just knew you would make a great mother, and he only hopes that he can be a greater father.

A Couple Weeks Later:

(Bold dialogue in quotations in this section means that someone is speaking in Spanish)

You let out a loud sigh as you close the lid of your water bottle. When you made the appointment to visit the clinic, the woman on the phone told you that you have to drink at least thirty-two ounces of water an hour before you get to your appointment. You thought that it would be easy since your water bottle is thirty-two ounces but drinking it in a limited time is a lot to ask. Especially when you cannot use the bathroom until after the appointment ends. You hear your husband laugh at how annoyed you are.

“Vous vous amusez la bas?“ You glare at how much fun Kylian is having at your expense. Having fun there?

“Shut up. I can feel my bladder expanding with water alone.” You say as you fix your posture to make yourself as comfortable as you can. “If I pee on myself, I’m gonna send the the bill from the cleaners to the clinic.”

“Ha ha ha! We’re almost there. I’m sure your bladder can wait a couple more moments.”

The more you grovel in your water misery, the slower Kylian is driving. After wishing and wishing for traffic to move faster, your wish is granted. Kylian reverse parks the Mercedes. Thanks to his reputation, the owner of the clinic agreed to do all of your appointments before they open to the public. Of course, it came with a higher bill, but it was worth it in Kylian’s eyes. He does not want the media to get a hold of your pregnancy just yet. Since front window tinting is illegal in the country of Spain, Kylian has to be extra careful on the road to avoid unwanted attention. He calls the front desk to tell them that you guys are here, and when the receptionist sees his Mercedes, she hurriedly unlocks the door.

“Welcome! Let me show you to the room. Your OB should be there shortly.”

A fact that you forgot in your agony of water, is that the OB clinic you are at is part of the hospital you work at. It is at a different location, but under the same board or management. It is the reason why you and Kylian were able to make this request so easily. You also know how the entire establishment works so trust is a big player.

Kylian thanks the woman as she leads you down a hallway. She stops at the third door on the right and motions for you two to enter. She tells you to sit at the exam table and reminds you both that the OB will be here shortly.

“Did you finish drinking you thirty-two ounces of water?”

“Mmm-hmm.”

“Alright. I’m just going to take down some basic information and I’ll get out of your hair.”

Once the lady finished jotting down said information, she closes the door to leave you and Kylian alone. Being the nosy person you are, you get down from the exam table and snoop around the cabinets and drawers.

“What are you doing?” Kylian asks you in disbelief. If you remember correctly, this is the first time Kylian has been in a clinic room with you, so he does not know that you like to prowl the room before the doctor comes in.

“I’m a curious person.” You shrug like it is no big deal. Most if not all the clinics you have been to have the same materials in it, but there may be that one time where something weird is discovered. Kylians shakes his head at your antics, but lets you continue. A knock on the thick door interrupts your snooping and you hurriedly sit back down on the exam table. Sending Kylian into a laughing fit.

“Come in.”

The OB closes the door around her and greets Kylian and you.

“Hello! I’m Alejandra Sanchez and I’ll be your OB for the rest of your pregnancy. Now before I start the exam, have you had any symptoms? Pregnancy related or not?”

“No, I haven’t.”

“And you have no known allergies, correct?”

“Uh-huh.”

Once the OB has everything she needs, Alejandra asks you to lay down on the table and to lift your shirt to your chest. The clinic had asked you to wear loose fitting clothes so the water-based gel does not ruin your clothing. She also asked you to wear a sports bra in case the underwire interferes with the sonogram. Alejandra uses a clean towel to roll down the waist band of your pants enough to expose your entire torso. The waistband is now where your pubic bone is.

Alejandra warns you that the gel is cold before applying it. Kylian scoots his chair so he can sit right next to you, but out of the OB’s way. She places the transducer on the gelled area and starts searching for the peanut of a baby. You see Kylian pulling out his phone to record the upcoming moment. Alejandra starts pointing out the different organs the machine is picking up. She puts a bit more pressure where your uterus is. She moves the transducer left, right, up, and down and there it is. Your baby.

“Here we go.” Alejandra says as she points to the white shaped peanut. With her free hand she explains that the black bubble your baby is in is the placenta. She then uses her free hand to check the baby’s growth, and that is when she plays the most beautiful sound a person can play.

The rhythmic beat of such a small heart is truly a blessing to hear. Unknowingly, you and Kylian’s grip on the other’s hand has loosened. Too in awe at the sight and sound of your child. Your first child. Kylian’s camera perfectly captures the screen, but it does not do the scan justice.

“Your baby is growing just fine, and their heartbeat is regular. It looks like your baby is about six weeks old. Meaning-” Alejandra does some quick math. “Your baby should be due sometime in August of next year. Would you like me to send a recording of the heartbeat to your email?”

Kylian immediately agrees and gives her the appropriate information. Alejandra thanks your husband and leaves you two to enjoy the moment with each other. Neither of you say anything. Not that anything needs to be said. You two could look at the scan for ages and never get bored of it. The sight may be insignificant for some, but that is just because they do not understand the wonders of it. Knowing that this baby is to grow inside of you makes you selfish. A big part of you does not want to give birth to this child and have them all to yourself.

Neither of you realize that about ten minutes have gone by just staring and listening. Alejandra’s knocking brings you both back to reality.

“Excuse me, I’ve sent the recording to your email Mr. Mbappe. We also have about twenty minutes before we open to the public.”

Alejandra then wipes the gel off your stomach and hands you a copy of today’s scans. She tells you when your next appointment is and that they will open their doors a little earlier for you. Your OB thanks you and Kylian for your time and congratulates you. She informs you that the lady who lets you in (her name is Fernanda), will be the one to check you out.

Once you get yourself ready to leave, Kylian turns you around by your waist and hugs you to his chest. When you look up to him, he has a gentle smile on his lips, but eyes are the window to the soul. Through Kylian’s eyes you can see how happy he is. Happier than when he wins the World Cup, happier than when he scores a goal, and happier than when he married you. You can see how much he is looking forward to holding his child in his arms for the first time. You can see how much he is imagining his life as a father. You know that he cannot wait for the near future.

Two and a Half Months Later (Approximately 15 Weeks Pregnant):

Moaning in agony you flush the toilet a third time in a row today. It was the beginning of the month when you started to feel the hormonal changes happening within your body. You started feeling nauseous around certain foods and you catch yourself going into emotional fits (after they are done). Most importantly, your body is rejecting almost everything you put in it. You have been heavily reliant on the prenatal vitamins you have, but those can only do so much. The only foods you can keep down are rice, cucumbers, and eggs (that have to be cooked a certain way or else you throw up).

There was an instance where Kylian was cooking lunch for you two and you threw up due to the smell. It was not even appalling to the normal human nose, but your hormonal body said “no”. So anything Kylian wants to cook something for himself, you have to lock yourself in the bedroom and wait for the main floor to be aired out. This part of your pregnancy, not being able to have a meal with your husband, sucks the most. To try and normalize your change of behavior, you have opted to FaceTime whenever Kylian eats his meals.

“Chérie, j'ai laissé ta bouteille d'eau sur ta table de chevet. Je vais préparer un dîner. Voulez-vous votre habitude?” Kylian calls out, semi-worried. He has sort of adjusted to your pregnancy symptoms, but he still worries about your overall health. Especially when you can only eat three types of foods. He just hopes that your symptoms will die down soon. Honey, I left your water bottle on your nightstand. I'm going to cook dinner. Want your usual?

You groan out a yes before you hurl into the toilet bowl for the nth time today. Who knew that a baby, who is the size of an apple as of right now, can make you barf your guts out so much. After one more round, you feel as if your body has nothing left for you to throw up. Ripping some toilet paper off its roll, you wipe your mouth and flush it down the toilet with the contents of your stomach. You spit into the sink before vigorously brushing your teeth. For good measure, you use extra-minty mouthwash. Satisfied with your clean and minty mouth, you gulp down some water, wincing when the water intensifies your fresh mouth. Knocking on the door, Kylian comes in with your meal in hand. He hands it to you while littering your forehead with kisses.

“Comment vous sentez-vous?“ Kylian asks as he sets the bowl of food on a nearby surface to pull you in a hug. Since you have been sick, you have been losing some weight and that worries Kylian. He asked your OBGYN if they can do anything about your nausea, but they told Kylian that he will just have to wait for it to pass. The prenatal prescribed to you should help alleviate the sickness, but every pregnancy is different. If the clinic upped your prenatal dosages, it may end up causing harm to the baby and you. How do you feel?

Exasperatedly you say, “Like a demon wants to crawl out of me.”

Kylian laughs and plants a kiss on the top of your head before kneeling down to your stomach.

“You’re not even born yet and you’re already causing your mom trouble.” Your husband lightly flicks a random spot on your abdomen. Punishing his child for their wrongdoings. “I’m gonna eat and clean up, okay?”

Not a beat later are you rushing back to the bathroom for another round of hurling.

Three Months Later (Approximately 29 Weeks Pregnant):

You and Kylian knew that you pregnancy can be hidden for so long. Especially when you are shopping for your baby’s arrival. Online shopping is wonderful but when it comes to the big supplies like cribs, strollers, bouncers, and highchairs to name a few, it is best to shop in person. So, Kylian pulled out his celebrity card and called a few shops a week before to ask if they could close their store for a certain time frame. He also hired a bigger than usual security team for the day.

When you and Kylian arrived at the local mall, you were greeted by a group of journalists, photographers, and fans (word gets out quick). To keep face, Kylian smiles at his fans and waves at the reporters. All of which you sort of ignore as your husband told you to do. It takes you two about ten minutes to get to the first store. Not because it is deep inside the mall, but because you had to fight through the crowd. As soon as you entered the store with three security guards, the rest stood in front of the store entrance.

“Regarde ça! Seuls deux de mes doigts peuvent rentrer dedans! Allons s'en approprier!“ Kylian calls out to you while showing you his amazement. Look at this! Only two of my fingers can fit in! Let’s get it!

You take the adorably tiny shoes and look at the tag. “Kylian, these are meant for newborns to four months old. The baby won’t even be able to walk, let alone crawl at that age.”

“Mais bébé ~” Kylian whines. Sternly, you tell your husband “no” and drag him over before he can sneak it to one of the employees. But babe ~

“You still have the list of what we need to buy, right?”

Kylian hums as he pulls out his phone and clicks on the “notes” app. Out of the corner of your eyes you spot something that you just absolutely need to buy. Your pregnant self pushes your husband out of your way as you run towards the item.

“Babe! Look what I found!”

You pull the item off the shelf and proudly show it to your husband (and everyone who is watching from the display windows) with a big grin.

“Oh, come on.” Kylian laughs.

In your hands is a fluffy rug in the shape of a sea turtle. The head is stuffed while the rest of its body is nothing but soft fabric. “It matches the theme of the nursery! We have to get it!”

“But don’t we already have a rug in the nursery?”

“So? The rug can have a rug. You can never have too many rugs.”

“You’re just saying that cause you put rugs in every room you build in the Sims.”

“Yeah so?”

Kylian touches the rug and holds it up in front of him. “It is a cute rug.”

With doe eyes you say, “I know! And we can always use it in the living room for tummy time. It’s multi-purposeful!”

“Tummy time?” Kylian asks confused. He is still learning about baby terminology so something like “tummy time” is still foreign to him.

“Yes. You know, when you put the baby on their stomach for a while.”

“Oh ouais. Pourquoi les gens font-ils ça de toute façon ?” Oh, yeah. Why do people do that anyway?

“It’s to help the baby build their neck muscles. Et si un bébé reste trop longtemps sur le dos, sa tête prendra une forme irrégulière.” You show Kylian a comparitive picture of a baby’s head. One side is a baby that was allowed to have tummy time, and the other shows a baby that was always on their back. And if a baby stays on their back too long, their head will take on an irregular shape.

After Kylian hands the rug to an employee, together you look for a suitable playpen and a portable crib with an attachable changing table. The more you look at the different options for a pen, the more you two agree that you will wait to get one. It will be a while before the baby even starts to crawl. On top of that, where will you put the playpen, and how much will you have to buy?

“We’ll just change them on the ground or the couch. We should get a bouncer instead and have a corner or something for baby supplies.”

The two of you spend a total of four hours at the mall. All of the bigger items that Kylian bought he asked the employees to send them to your home. Smaller items like clothes (and the shoes Kylian dearly wanted) were in the shopping bags in his hand. When you two get home, there is a package on your doorstep. Since your home is privately gated, anytime someone needs to make a delivery, the driver must call either you or Kylian to get the gate open. Happily, you take the box and barge into your own home and run to the dining room table.

Squealing, you take out the cushioning and throw it onto the floor to reveal the handcrafted item. When you hold it up by the top look, you look at the craft in awe. On Etsy you ordered a sea turtle themed mobile. Your heart clenches at the thought of it one day, being the first thing your child sees when they wake up.

“Look Kyky! It’s adorable!”

Your husband smiles as he puts the shopping bags on the table. Kylian stands behind you and holds you close by your waist. Slowly, he starts to say your bodies.

“It’s perfect babe. You did a good job picking it out.”

The mobile has three turtles per your request. Two big sea turtles and one baby right in the middle. The baby turtle is on its back while the parents surround their child. Different shades of blue, felt balls are attached to the top of the strings to make it look like the family of turtles are swimming in the open sea. Kelp and coral hangs from the bottom from various heights. If you look closely, one of the turtles has lashes on it. The mommy turtle: you.

“Le bébé va adorer.” Kylian says. He gently turns your head to the side and softly kisses your lips. Peck after peck he kisses you. Each lasting a second longer than the last. Kylian does not know what was going through your head during today’s shopping trip, but in his, the reality that he is going to be a father is getting closer. Waking up in the random hours of the night is horrible, but getting to hear his baby’s laugh outweighs the con. Becoming the world’s best football player has always been Kylian’s goal in life, but being a father came close. Now, both goals in life are about to come true. The baby will love it.

One Month Later (Approximately 34 Weeks Pregnant):

Humming, you have a finger on your chin thinking about where objects should go. Everything has to be perfect or else you will not be able to sleep. Meanwhile, as you are taking your marry time, your poor husband is standing next to the crib. Awaiting your orders. Kylian is shaking his right leg while he tries to regulate his breathing. He knows how meticulous you are with objects and their assigned places, but damn. Can you please make up your mind? First you wanted the dresser next to the crib but then it seemed cramped. Then you did not want the crib directly in front of any windows cause you are scared the sun might blind your baby. Then Kylian had to keep scootching the rocking chair a little bit further from the corner so when you rock, the back does not hit the wall.

“I think it’ll be easier to put the crib there and the dresser across it. The cubbies can go over here. What do you think Kyky?”

“I think this’ll be the last time I’m moving anything.” Kylian grumbles as he swipes the sweat off his forehead with his shirt.

Feeling bad, you cup his cheeks and kiss him. Giving him a couple of pecks in hopes that it will completely erase his annoyance. “I’m sorry. I just want everything to be perfect when the baby comes.”

Kylian sighs and this time, kisses you. His bigger and slightly sweaty hands caress your belly from under your (his) shirt. Your baby has been an active one and definitely takes after their father. Every time the baby kicks your uterus, you want to slap Kylian each time for passing on his genes. The first time Kylian felt the baby’s kick, he would not stop touching your belly in hopes of feeling the baby kick again. Unfortunately for you, whenever the baby kicks, it feels like you have to pee. First you spent all your time in the bathroom throwing up, and now you spend all your time to pee, and sometimes you do not even pee!

“Je sais bébé, mais peux-tu s'il te plait finaliser là où tu veux tout ? Tu me tues ici.” Your husband begs. You happily nod and tell him where to put the furniture, promising him that this is the last time. Taking your word for it, Kylian puts the dresser on the opposite wall of the dresser and the cubbies underneath the window. He makes sure that the rug is nice and centered. You hand him a leveler, and everything is nice and even. Kylian insisted on putting the furniture himself and not hiring people to do it for him. You were a bit iffy since Kylian is not the best with tools, but you did chaperone him. Your dad taught you all about tools when you were growing up, so you are more than experienced in this department. You have to hand it to Kylian, he did a good job once he knew what tool was what. You do have to dock some points because Kylian refused to read the manuals and even wanted to open every pack of screws and bolts at the same time. I know baby, but can you please finalize where you want it all? You are killing me here.

Happily, you thank Kylian with a big kiss on his lips and tell him that you will get him some water. He thanks you and watches you waddle into the hallway to go downstairs. Finally having the time to relax, Kylian sits down on the rocking chair and leans back into it. The more he sits in silence, the more real this room feels. This room is for his baby. His baby that is currently growing in your womb. During the first few months the baby will be sleeping in your shared room, but after that, they will be getting their own room. This room. The one that Kylian had to rearrange four times. He looks at the cart where most of the baby essentials and your breast pump are at. Just two weeks ago you two traveled to America and had your baby shower.

Baby showers are not as popular in Europe as they are in America, and it would be easier for your family if you had the party there. It was a joyous time and with how high strong your hormones were, you did cry a couple of times. While your baby has yet to be born, they are surrounded by love throughout the world (and the internet. Kylian’s fans have been guessing what the name and sex of the baby is). Feeling reality hit him, Kylian wipes his hand over his face as he looks at the crib he struggled to build. His baby will one day sleep there and he or you will have to make your way into this room in the middle of the night for feedings and diaper changes. The dresser will double as a changing table and the cubbies are for the books you were gifted at the baby shower, and for the different knickknacks you two bought.

“You okay?” Your voice and the way you caress his shoulder knocks Kylian out of his daydream. He takes the water and chugs it down before telling you he is fine, kissing the hand on his shoulder.

“Je vais bien. J'ai juste hâte que le bébé arrive.” I'm doing well. I just can't wait for the baby to come.

“Me too.” You whisper. “Now help me get these pictures up, and we’ve gotta set the mobile up. Oh, and help me fold the baby’s clothes. They just finished drying.” You list more to-do’s after another in what Kylian believes is a never ending list.

...Shit...

One Month Later (Approximately 38 Weeks Pregnant):

About a month ago you started your maternity leave. It was great in the beginning since you got to sleep in and do whatever you want, but it got boring soon after since you would be home alone. That only lasted a week though. When you two found out your due date, Kylian had a long meeting with the club’s management department about taking leave for a few months towards the end of your pregnancy. Luckily, they ended up agreeing but it would mean that Kylian’s contract would be extended for a few months to make up for his absence since your baby will arrive during the season.

Kylian bought the large property not just for its privacy, but the yard space it offered. When you two were in a long-distance relationship and things were getting serious, you frequently talked about wanting a large backyard space for your future kids to run around in, and maybe a dog or two. When you two were house hunting, Kylian kept that wish in mind. He even requested the retail agent to only show them houses with a large yard. You two had fun viewing multiple houses and had even more fun re-designing your home. European fridges are small and while you got used to them, you wanted your big, American fridge back. While you mainly focused on the inside of the home, Kylian focused on the outside. The yard space was big enough to have a fully sized football field installed, a pool and a patio with a built-in grill, a bon-fire pit, and more than enough empty space for little kids to run around in. This is truly where Kylian and you will raise your family. If you had to one day move, Kylian may have a hard time selling this place.

While doing the dishes you felt a bit more uncomfortable than usual but brushed it off and focused on getting this pain in the ass food off this plate. Honestly, you feel like SpongeBob that one time he could not get that gunk off the plate at the Krusty Krab. Where could you find a laser and tank without alarming the feds? After you successfully cleaned the plate, you took off the silicone gloves and cleaned off the counter and sink. You then took it upon yourself to sweep the floors and vacuum the rugs and wipe down any dirty surface. You then went into one of the storage closets to get your cleaning bucket to clean the bathrooms. This house has about seven full bathrooms with two half sized bathrooms. Now, you do not plan on cleaning all of them, just the ones that are frequently occupied and inspecting the ones that are not.

When you are satisfied with your handiwork, you check on the laundry that you put in the dryer before you started cleaning. You fold yours and Kylian’s clothes and put them where they belong and go to the bathroom to collect your skincare, shampoo, and conditioner. You place the products in a small bag before mentally checking to see if you need to do anything else before leaving. Your double and even triple check but nothing comes into mind. Bag in hand you go downstairs where Kylian is playing on his PS5 with Hakimi.

“Honey!”

Kylian’s eyes are focused on the screen in front of him while his fingers are busy pressing different buttons in a sequence. “Huh?” he yells out.

“We gotta go.”

Confused, Kylian tells his friend to hold on and takes off his headset. “Go? Where are we going?”

“The hospital, I’m in labor.”

From your perspective, it looks like Kylian’s mind is buffering. Like you can physically see the wheel spinning. The Frenchman quickly throws his headset off and rushes past you to get the car keys.

“C’mon cherie!”

Instead of walking out the open door, you sit on the couch where Kylian was occupied not long ago and put the headset on.

“Hakimi? Hey, it’s nice to talk to you too. Listen, Kylian will have to leave the game because he has to go. The hospital. No, everything’s fine, I’m just in labor. Yeah, it is exciting. I’m a little scared. Thank you! Yeah, I’ll tell him to Facetime you when the baby comes. See ya soon!”

You exit the game and turn the gaming station off and put the controllers and headset away. Getting off the couch was a bit of a struggle since your center of gravity is off, but you managed to do so.

“What are you doing? We need to get to the hospital!” Kylian is absolutely confused at why you have not left the house yet. You are about to have his baby for crying out loud!

“Hold on, Ky. I gotta put the dishes up.”

“What!” Kylian chases after you and tries to coax you to get into the car. “Why are you drying dishes?”

“I can’t come back to a dirty home. What will the baby think?” You justify it like it is the most obvious thing in this world.

“The baby won’t even be able to see!”

“Alright, well I still don’t wanna come back to a dirty home.” You say as you grab a clean rag and dry off the semi-wet dishes while putting them into the cabinets and drawers of the kitchen. “Some women put on their makeup before going to the hospital. This is my equivalent. Now if you want, you can help me out so we can get to the hospital sooner.”

Completely dumbfounded, Kylian shoves the keys into his pocket and grabs a rag. He takes dish after dish off the rack faster than Speedy Gonzales and tosses them wherever they belong.

“Careful! I don’t wanna have to sweep the floor again.”

Huffing, Kylian is a tad bit careful when putting the dishes away while still maintaining his speed. Thanks to his help, the dishes are dried and put away. Kylian tosses the rag on the counter and pulls the keys out of his pants.

“Can we - What are you doing now?”

“Relax hysteria. I’m just putting the rags away so they can dry properly.” As soon as you put the wet rags on the oven handle, Kylian drags you out of the kitchen and towards the car. “Wait! I need to check to make sure nothing else needs to be done!”

Kylian unlocks the door and practically shoves you into the passenger seat and snatches the bag of bathroom products out of your hand and chucks it into the backseat. “Chérie, je me fiche que la maison brûle. Vous êtes en travail. Je t'emmène à l'hôpital.” Honey, I don't care if the house is burning. You are in labor. I'm taking you to the hospital.

You pout while putting your seatbelt on while Kylian does the same. “I don’t get why not. I entered labor while doing the dishes.” You mumble.

“Quoi!“ Kylian shouts.

“Yeah, I felt some contractions while doing the dishes.”

“You finished the dishes like two hours ago!” Kylian swears that his brain is about to explode from how nonchalant you are acting. You mean to tell him that you have been in labor for two hours and did not tell him!

“I know.” You shrug. “I was just following the 411 rule. I had to make sure that the contractions were about four minutes apart, last for a minute, and for the duration for an hour.”

Kylian cannot believe what he is hearing. An “error” sign might as well pop out from behind him. Instead of continuing this argument, Kylian ignites the engine and drives off.

“Wait!” You yell at him. Kylian stomps on the breaks and asks what is wrong, panicking, thinking that the baby is already trying to come out of you right now.

“Did you lock the door?”

Dear God, you are lucky that Kylian loves you or else you would be walking to the hospital.

At the Hospital:

When you two were admitted to the hospital, you were given a private room and a hospital gown to change into. After you got hooked up to different machines and stuck with needles, Kylian left the room to get the duffle bag and the skincare you packed from the car. A couple of days ago you packed one of Kylian’s duffle bags with clothes for you, him, and the baby along with some essentials. When Kylian got to the car, he made sure the car seat was stable before going back to your room. Since you got to the hospital, your contractions got a bit more uncomfortable but not painful. You described it as having to take a solid poop. Your words, not his.

Six Hours Since Arrival:

You ended up getting an epidural when the contractions got worse. Originally, you wanted an as natural birth as possible, but the pain was just too unbearable. You even cried from how bad the pain was. Kylian has never felt worse than he did. He could not do much but just watch and let the nurses do their job. Kylian tried to put on some smoothing music to help you relax but it just annoyed you. All you wanted to do was lay on the hospital in silence. You did not even want to be touched by anyone. When you got the epidural and slept for about half an hour, you felt a lot better and apologized to Kylian.

“It’s fine, babe. You’re about to give birth to our baby. You can practically get away with anything.”

“Then~ Does that mean I can slap you and blame it on labor?” You joke.

Kylian laughs and shakes his head. “I don’t know about that. Besides, you’re numb from your waist below so you can’t blame the labor pains.” He kisses you on the lips.

You ask him if he has eaten anything, and he said that he ordered some food from a local restaurant. He ordered it under a pseudonym and asked the staff to watch out for it. Kylian did not want the media to get a whiff of what was happening. The nurse understood and asked her co-worker who is at the front desk to call her when the food arrives. You are a little jealous that your husband gets to eat but you are stuck with crappy jello cups. The doctors said that the clear foods and drinks should minimize complications but all you heard was that bread and rice is off the table.

Echoing in the room is a heartbeat, your baby’s. Your baby is doing fine but you were warned that it will take at least twelve hours for the baby to arrive. Since this is your first birth, it is going to take your body a while to get the hang of things. Currently, you are only four centimeters dilated.

Kylian lays his head on your chest, just at the top of your stomach and caresses the engorged abdomen. Heartstrings tugged; you caress Kylian’s head as you two listens to the beat of your child’s heart. A sound so soothing that both of you fall asleep to it.

Sixteen Hours Since Arrival:

Your legs are propped on stirrups and people are crowded around you. Kylian is by your side to offer his support. Your anesthetic dosage was lessened so you know when to push. You are supposed to push during contractions since it will be easier for the baby to travel down the birth canal. You can only know when to push if you can feel your vagina being ripped in half. When it comes to actually pushing the baby out, you were told to use your core. A popular misconception is that when giving birth, you push like you would when pooping. The truth is that you use the same muscles when giving birth, but the right way to push is by tightening the muscles in your abdomen.

“Está haciendo un gran trabajo, Sra. Mabppe. Puedo ver la cabeza de tu bebé.” You're doing a great job, Mrs. Mabppe. I can see your baby's head.

During your baby shower, your sisters told you to refuse the opportunity to be medically induced. With their experience and the words of their friends, it only makes birthing harder since the body is not naturally ready to deliver the baby. And it should take fewer pushes to deliver the baby.

The doctor wiggles his hands between your vaginal walls and the baby’s head, lightly pulling the baby out. You tighten your core again and the baby’s bloody head is slowly coming out. The doctor encourages you to keep pushing and keeps gently pulling on the baby.

“Tu vas bien, mon amour. Encore quelques essais et nous aurons notre bébé.” Kylian whispers to you as he squeezes your hand. The feeling of excitement and anxiety while playing during the final game of the the World Cup does not compare to the excitement and anxiety Kylian is feeling in this very hospital room. He does not realize it, but his entire body is shaking, and his eyes are dilated from how focused he is on you. You are doing well my love. A few more tries and we'll have our baby.

With his gloved hands, the doctor reaches further inside to turn the baby, so their shoulders are parallel to your vaginal opening. With a good grip and a last push from you, the doctor catches the slippery baby. The doctor turns the baby on their stomach to smack their back to get rid of any remaining amniotic fluids. With a couple of hits, the baby shows the room just how powerful their lungs are.

“¡Él está aquí! ¡Diste a luz a un niño sano!“ The doctor congratulates you as hands your baby to one of the nurses to be cleaned off and examined after Kylian cuts the umbilical cord. A wave of relief washes over you and Kylian when you hear your baby’s cries. This is it. You two are parents. Your baby is born. You take deep breaths as two pairs of eyes are looking at the corner of the room. He is here! You gave birth to a healthy child!

“Aún no hemos terminado.” We’re not done yet.

“¿Eh?“

One Hour Since Birth:

Your baby boy has been laying on your bare chest for about an hour now. An hour full of bliss as you get to finally hold your son after nine long months of waiting. One thing you have learned so far is that your son is a wiggler. He cannot stop moving his body until he deems himself comfortable. He loves to attempt to lift his head, but since he has not built up the necessary muscles, his head falls back onto your chest. It took him a while to stop crying when the nurse laid him down on you. Looking down at his head of black hair, you fall deeper in love with him.

Matthew Mbappe Lottin. Born August XX, XXXX at 6:42 am. A weight of 3.7 kilograms at birth and forty-three centimeters long (about eight pounds and 16-17 inches long).

When you and Kylian were deciding on what to name your son, you agreed to give him an English first name. Matthew has a Spanish and French version of it: Mateo and Mathieu. When your son gets older and is able to absorb more complex concepts, you and Kylian will teach Matthew his alternate names and how to spell them.

Kylian has non-stop been taking pictures and videos of you and Matthew. For some unknown reason, you two have been whispering. The nurses and doctor told you that it would be better to talk in your full voice so the baby can get used to your voices, but you just cannot help yourself. Matthew is just so small and delicate that whispering is a go-to. Kylian sent a picture of Matthew to your families and close friends, letting them know of the joyous day. Ethan was the first to respond since he is usually up around this time. He has been spamming the group chat, demanding Kylian to Facetime him so he can meet his nephew. Your family lives on the east coast so it would be around midnight for them. It will be a while until they start demanding you to Facetime them.

Being the big brother he is, Kylian completely ignores his younger brother’s request and puts his phone on “Do Not Disturb”. Your OBGYN told you that you can give Matthew to Kylian after the first feed. Every ten minutes or so she will pop in to see if your baby is ready to eat. A cue that most babies do when hungry is when they purse their lips.

With your index finger, you repeat the same coos you have been telling your son while caressing his fuzzy and chubby cheeks. “Hey there little fellow. You like to sleep a lot, huh? Just like your dad.” You rub his slightly wrinkly back under the blanket that was placed on you two. One of Kylian’s hand is cupping the back of Matthew’s head while his thumb rubs it.

“He’s so small.”

You jokingly scoff. “You try saying that after pushing him out of your vagina. I felt like I just birth a freaking watermelon.” Kylian laughs at your joke (you were not really joking though. Seriously, your cervix had to open wide enough to birth a damn watermelon).

“Thank God I don’t have a vagina then.” He jokes back.

The nurse peeks her head back in to check on you and the baby. During the birthing process, you lost more blood than the doctor would have liked so they have been keeping an extra eye on you. She peeks over your shoulder and her eyes light up.

“Parece que están listos para alimentarse.” She takes Matthew and asks you to sit up, Kylian aiding you. When you get situated, Matthew is placed in your arms as the nurse starts to massage your breast to stimulate it, preparing it for lactation. She tells you that after this feed, she will show you how to use a breast pump. Bottle-feeding Matthew will show how much he is actually eating. It seems that they are ready to feed. It seems that they are ready to feed.

After feeding and burping Matthew, you asked Kylian if he is ready to hold his son for the first time. Excited, he quickly takes off his shirt and holds his arms out. Laughing, you show him how to hold Matthew, making sure Kylian holds his tiny head up. Kylian awes as he shifts his arms in a more comfortable position. Your husband sits on the edge of the bed, keeping his eyes on his newborn son. This time, you are the one who is taking pictures and videos of Kylian and Matthew.

Kylian holds Matthew close, the baby’s chubby cheek being squished against his father’s chest. You hand the new father a swaddle blanket so Matthew will not get cold. Like second nature, Kylian shifts Matthew, so he is laying vertically on his chest and then drapes the blanket over. In Kylian’s mind, no World Cup is a better prize than holding his child.

Three Months Since Birth:

It has been an absolute blessing to witness Kylian being a father. From the poop explosions to spit ups, Kylian has been there for all of them. He only has a week left before he starts being an active athlete again. So, Kylian is savoring the time he has with you and Matthew. Speaking of Matthew:

“Awe~ You’re just having the best time of your life, huh?” You coo while recording your son.

Contrary to your words, Matthew is not having the time of his life. In fact, he hates this. Tummy time absolutely sucks to him. He wants to be held by his momma and pappa, not laid on his stomach on some green and gray surface. It does feel nice on Matthew’s supple skin though but come on! He wants to be held! Matthew cries and yells while pumping his limbs in the air like a starfish, begging for you to pick him up. You record Matthew for a little longer, before you put your phone away and give the boy what he wants.

You hold him up by his armpits and stand him up on your lap. Happy that he is being held, Matthew bends his legs in an attempt to jump or hop. He shoves his little fingers in his mouth and sucks the life out of them. While singing some nursery rhyme, you lift your son up in the air while making him dance a little.

When Matthew first came home, Kylian took a picture of his little toes and posted it on his Instagram. So many fans and Kylian’s friends congratulated you two on becoming a family. Many of Kylian’s fans have been begging him for more baby content, and sometimes Kylian will indulge them. To keep your family’s privacy, Kylian has not and will not post a picture of Matthew’s face nor will he release the name of his son for a while longer. When Kylian introduced Matthew to the world, he wrote how happy he is to be a father and how well you did and are doing. Kylian never fails to brag about how awesome of a mother and a wife you are.

You yell out to Kylian and ask if he can hand you a burping cloth so you can wipe away Matthew’s drool. Honestly, this kid drools more than a hungry mastiff. Instead of handing you the rag, Kylian picks up Matthew.

“Babeas demasiado, ¿sabes? ¡Mancharás toda tu ropa y no te quedará nada!“ Your husband jokes. Matthew takes his hand out of his mouth and starts to shake them in the air, flicking his drool onto Kylian. You two laugh and while Kylian is cleaning your son up, you get a swaddle blanket ready. It is almost Matthew’s naptime, and he needs to eat beforehand. Kylian loves putting Matthew to sleep. He can see his little boy drift off to dreamland, safe in his arms. The only thing is that Kylian sucks at swaddling Matthew. He swears that it is easier to do a hat-trick than wrapping his baby in a blanket. You drool too much, you know? You will stain all your clothes and you will have nothing left!

You warm up the bottle and when you hand it to Kylian, Matthew immediately reaches for it. He loves holding his bottle, but Matthew does not have the fine motor skills to keep it upright, so you and Kylian have to assist him. As Kylian focuses on feeding Matthew, you focus on watching Kylian. At the beginning of your pregnancy, Kylian wondered if he would be a good father. With his busy schedule and all. You kept reassuring him that he will be a wonderful father to your child, and that he is worrying over nothing. You told him that while it might be hard for Kylian to balance work and family life, you know Kylian will do his best to be the father your child needs him to be. Besides, Kylian has you with him. You will fill in for when Kylian falls short just like how Kylian will fill in for you when you fall short.

In a soft voice you can hear Kylian telling Matthew how much he will miss his son when he goes back to training. Sure, he will only be gone for only a few hours a day, but for those few hours Kylian will be away from his little family. Kylian tells Matthew that during games, he will dedicate two goals to Matthew. Each of the two people Matthew has brought great love to. The rocking motion puts Matthew to sleep. A habit of his that both you and Kylian love is that whenever Matthew sleeps, he likes to pout his lips. Lifting his son up, Kylian gently kisses his son’s pouted lips before putting him down in the bassinet set up in the living room.

Relaxing in the quietness of your home, you and Kylian cuddle on the couch. A good thumb of rule is to try to nap whenever your baby naps. Peck after peck two pairs of lips lightly smack together. After a final kiss from Kylian’s lips, you both try to fall asleep. Like Matthew, you go to sleep knowing that you are safe in Kylian’s arms. Matthew may look like an example of CTRL-C, but you both share the love of feeling protected in Kylian’s embrace.

#kylian mbappe #mbappe x reader #fanfiction #x reader #kylian mbappe x reader #football #mbappé #pure fluff

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scalingsvt8thusiast · 6 months

Text

Skin-Deep chapter 12

summary: The one where you fall for Seungcheol amongst all the protests and insecurities. The one where you don't know that he's fallen for you too.

a/n: Enjoy! :)

Ensconced in a velvet armchair, you sat surrounded by your friends who were howling with laughter.

“They said what?” Yunjin said in between tears, clutching her stomach from the pain of laughing too hard.

“I cannot FATHOM anyone saying that to you,” Shuhua cried, wiping the tears from her eyes, trying her best not to smudge her mascara.

“God, what is up with her ceiling?” Somi laughed, imagining a bunch of naked people on the ceiling, “New money people, I can never understand.”

“Talk about bad taste, who the fuck puts stained glass in their dining room?” Jihyo added, sipping on her tea.

You had just finished relaying the drama from the past month to your friends whilst jewellery shopping at your favourite store. The five of you sat facing one another with a bucket load of jewellery spread out on a coffee table in the middle. The shop assistants constantly bringing out all of their best jewellery for each of you to inspect.

“You should have slapped her!” Shuhua commented, mimicking a slapping motion in the air. “I know I would have! Insulting my bestie like that.”

Shuhua was your most outspoken friend. Her father was renowned as the Grocery King of Taiwan, owning almost all of the supermarkets and groceries store in the country. She always made sure to send out boxes of the best fruits and vegetables to her best friends. Their mothers appreciating the present more than any of their daughters.

“And his father! ‘You need a right girl by your side’.” Jihyo mimicked, “Go back to the 70s, old man! No one wants you here!”

Jihyo, who was extremely appaled by backwards thinking, was the daughter of the Gold Kingdom. Her family held monopoly over the trade of gold globally. Jihyo was regularly decked out in gold, but she didn’t mind shopping for other sorts of jewellery.

“How does your son’s choice of girlfriend affect your company’s survivability?” Somi said, rolling her eyes, “does he know nothing about business?”

Somi, your ever business savvy friend, had just returned from completing her MBA. This was to prepare her to inherit her mother’s massive cosmetics empire. In fact all the makeup on your face right now was a gift from Somi.

“I literally just looked up their company while you were talking. They’re worth what? 20 bil?” Yunjin turned her phone to show you a report. “And they’re so bloody arrogant!”

Yunjin, who was more interested in people’s net worths, hailed from a family who ran the world's most successful banking co-operation. This grants her access to all the secretive reports of various companies and high net worth individuals around the world.

Where Seungcheol had Joshua and Jeonghan, you had Shuhua, Jihyo, Somi and Yunjin.

The five of you had been friends since you were children, your parents all knew each other so naturally you grew up together. Majority of your youth was spent flying all over the world for shopping trips and holidays together. The only reason you separated was because you wanted to experience life without your parent’s money for once. You’d regularly keep up with them while you were at uni but it wasn’t the same as seeing them face to face. You missed the support your girlfriends gave you after being surrounded by boys for months.

“Guys, it’s honestly fine.” You said, holding your hand up to the light, inspecting the massive diamond around your finger. “I’ve left and I’m not looking back. That part of my life is over.”

“Which part of your life is over?” A voice sounded from behind you.

“Vernon!” Your friends chorused.

Your brother, waltzed up to the table. Giving each one of your friends a wave.

“Oh, you’re here early.” You said, placing the ring back on the table. Large stones attracted unwanted attention, not your taste.

“Yea, we should probably leave now, you know how mom and dad get when we’re late.” Vernon said, motioning to the door.

You sent your friend’s an apologetic smile, “Sorry guys, let’s continue another day?”

A wave of goodbyes came from your friends as you and your brother left the shop, his Mclaren Senna parked at the main doors.

Once you were comfortably seated in the car, you began running through your activities for the night.

“After dinner, are we going over to Gyu’s place?” You said, your freshly manicured nails tapping against your phone.

“Yea, it’s just going to be the few of us I think.” Vernon answered, driving carefully around a crowd who was snapping photos of his car.

“How long do you think dinner with mom and dad will be?” You questioned, still replying to messages on your phone.

“Probably like 2 hours tops? We might be a lil’ late to Gyu’s place.” Vernon replied, “Gosh, sis, your nails are giving me a headache.”

You turn to your brother with an evil grin. You reached your hand out and grabbed his arm, digging your nails into his skin.

Vernon yelped. “HEY! I’m driving!”

“That’s what you get for being annoying,” You say with a smirk before continuing to tap on your phone.

Vernon’s eye twitched the entire ride home.

You hopped out of the car and skipped up the steps of the front porch. Vernon trailing behind you with hands in his pockets.

“Young sir, young madam.” The maid had come out to greet the two of you, bowing as you passed her. “Dinner is ready.”

“Thanks!” You called out over your shoulder and made your way to the dining room.

This bungalow was your parent’s most recent acquisition. It had gone on the market quite recently, some Duke who had fallen from grace was looking to make a pretty penny so he sold it to your mom. She had been eyeing the property for awhile now, claiming that she thought about you immediately when she saw the massive walk-in closet in the main bedroom. It was added to the list of properties you were set to inherit when you were older.

In the dining room, your parents sat next to each other at a sensibly sized round table.

“Hi mommy,” You say as you gave her a side hug. Your mother gave you a kiss on your cheek before continuing to read her magazine.

“Hi daddy,” Doing the same to your father who was immersed in his newspaper.

“Mom, dad.” Vernon greeted with a nod.

“Oh finally the two of you are back, we’ve been waiting forever.” Your mother said, putting away her magazine as she peered at her children from the top of her reading glasses.

“Your mom’s just hangry.” Your dad flashed you a mischievous smile, ignoring his wife’s warning glare.

The maid entered with a trolley of food, proceeding to lay it out on the lazy susan. You much prefer these sort of meals than all those pretentious fine dining restaurants. Food was meant to be simple and identifiable, some people clearly did not understand that.

Dinner was filled with idle chatter, you father was talking about the new venture he was thinking of in Thailand while your mom updated her children on the coming events they had to attend.

“Aunty and Uncle Yoon are coming to town to visit.” Your mother announced. “I expect both of you to make yourselves available.”

“Sure mom,” you and Vernon chorused.

“I think they’re bringing their son eh?” Your dad said in between mouthfuls of rice. “Maybe you two could show him around.”

And that is how you found yourself face to face with the one and only Yoon Jeonghan.

“Y/N my dear!” Mrs Yoon gushed, holding your hands, “Every time we see you, you get prettier and prettier!”

“This is Jeonghan, my son. I don’t think the three of you have met.” Mr Yoon said, gesturing to Jeonghan who was currently giving you a shit-eating grin.

“Y/n!” Jeonghan cried, giving you a hug.

“Hannie!” You quickly returned his hug, you weren’t expecting to see Jeonghan at all. “This is my brother, Vernon.”

Vernon politely shook Jeonghan’s hand, exchanging quick greetings.

“Oh? Have you met y/n?” Mrs Yoon asked her son.

“Yes, we met at uni.” Jeonghan said, giving his mom a reassuring smile.

“Ok, we’ll leave you kids alone now!” Your mom said, giving your arm a squeeze.

“Unless you guys want to sit through a meeting with us?” Your dad offered.

The three of your faces contorted into a look of disgust.

“I think we’ll pass.” Vernon said, scrunching up his face.

Jeonghan waited until his parents disappeared from the room before giving you an excited look.

“So this is where you were the whole time!” He chirped. “I thought you had been kidnapped when you fell off the face of the earth like that.”

Vernon narrowed his eyes at Jeonghan, “Is this the guy you were telling me about?”

You shook your head, “No, this is his friend.”

“Ah,” Vernon crossed his arms, giving Jeonghan a disapproving look. “Guilty by association.”

Jeonghan chuckled nervously, “I promise I’m harmless.”

Vernon continued to eye the older man suspiciously.

“I’m sorry for disappearing like that, Hannie.” You sighed. “Trust me if I had it my way I would have said good bye first.”

“Hey, it’s fine.” Jeonghan waved a hand, dismissing your apology. “If that happened to me, I would leave too.”

“Did you guys hear about what happened?” You asked, wondering if Seungcheol was the type to gossip.

“Not in the way you’re thinking.” Jeonghan quickly replied, as if reading your mind. "Shua had to pay some people to find out.”

“Oh,” You paused, “Why didn’t you just ask Seungcheol?”

“I-,” Jeonghan paused, glancing wearily in the direction of your parents. “Let’s not talk about it here. There’s a lot I need to update you on.”

The three of you found yourselves having tea at the Mariott. You had called up Mingyu beforehand, who insisted on coming as well, to secure a table.

“Mingyu’s on his way?” Jeonghan said, excited that he finally got to see his friends in their natural habitat.

“Yup, there he is now.” Your eyes darted to your best friend who jogged into the restaurant.

“Have you started?” Mingyu said breathlessly, “Tell me you guys haven’t started.”

“No, bro, sit down.” Vernon gestured to the chair before making a face. “You’re sweaty as fuck.”

“Gym.” Mingyu replied still clad in gym clothes, he wiped the sweat off his forehead before sitting down.

“Alright, now that we’re all here,” Jeonghan began, leaning forward, “you should know, Cheol hasn’t been himself these days.”

He recounted all the events that happened, starting from the day you and Seungcheol broke up and all the way to them confronting him at his apartment.

You didn’t know how to feel. Part of you was happy that Seungcheol was just as upset as you, part of you was sad because you knew things between you and him would never go back to normal. Was he considering getting back together with you? Did you want to get back together with him?

“It’s great he’s suffering and all. But that doesn’t give him the right to be an asshole.” Mingyu voiced out. His eyed the table of sweets in front of him as if he was strategising for war.

“Why didn’t he talk to y/n first before disappearing and breaking up with her?” Mingyu continued with a look of contempt.

“Because he’s an idiot.” Jeonghan replied, in between mouthfuls of pastries. “Not an excuse, I know.”

“I think you two should have a proper conversation,” Vernon sipped on his tea.

“Well obviously not you,” He gestured to his sister, “I mean like he should have a conversation with you.”

“Yeah, well.” You shrugged, “I want to talk to him, but he’s clearly intent on keeping me out of his life so-”

“When we told him about well, you.” Jeonghan gestured to you and his surroundings, “He looked really relieved.”

You placed a Madeleine into your mouth and looked out the window, lost in thought. In the background you could hear Mingyu arguing with Vernon and Jeonghan.

Mingyu rolled his eyes, “Honestly, I don’t trust Seungcheol on this. If you ask him to choose between y/n and his family, who would he choose? My money is on his family.”

“Actually, I think it would be y/n.” Jeonghan said with conviction. “You should have seen him. It was like armageddon had arrived on the choi family home.”

“I don’t know the guy, but I think he would choose you, sis.” Vernon said, nodding vigorously.

a/n2: I'm actually quite unsatisfied with quality of my writing. but i hope you all enjoyed it all the same.

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residentialsinyomakai · 25 days

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Obligatory refs + Info of my Yokai Watch Ocs (*＾▽＾*)

Under a cut because there's gonna be a lot of yapping and art stuffs....explodes +□+

Caspian Hernandez || Any Prns || Watcholder

Basics:

The 15 year old 'basically Nate replacement' of this universe!

Lives in Blossom Heights mostly alone, parents are gone pretty often for one reason or another.

In addition, she lives with Baddinyan who is the only reason they're always out of Chocobars

Can see yokai through their glasses (ability can't be deactivated, but he has to focus on yokai for a few seconds in order to actually see/identify them)

Summons them w/ the Yopple-Brand summon band :'] (Customizable! That's why it looks like a disc attached to a Brute Bracer; because it basically is.) Insert disc into a slot in the side!! Whoopie!!!

Not very socially aware due to doing online school up until the age of like 12 (EVIL CAT interactions early on are constantly like 'lol that thing they said actually meant this you dork ahah you fool' 'hush weirdo I'm trying to focus')

((^ i mean in addition to that hes also based on me so like. Neurodivergent canon?? Maybe?? Idk i unintentionslly write characters like me sometimes

A bit goofy and switches moods easily. Some days can be pretty apathetic if she's in a slump.

Gameverse Friend Team of 6: Baddinyan (duh), Badude, Casanuva, Babblong, Tut'n'K'mon, and Rawry

VC: Unbearaboy! from the 'Yo-Kai Watch!' Sub (the blue one in this scene) ((yes I know it's goofy but it's the only clip I could find, skip past the beginning flashback 😭));

youtube

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Kerosque || He/Him || Formerly-Alive Yokai

Basics:

Water-Attributed Rank-B yokai of the Tough Tribe

Phrog is about in his upper 40's.

Inspirit; is kinda like when people tend to be kinda cold/curt in the mornings for seemingly no reason.

Runs a ramen stand someplace on the outskirts of Yo-kailafornia. (He's a pretty good chef too)

((He also has little custom pins you can get for free depending on who you are ^u^ a few of his customers/friends tend to.))

Uses his ladle (however you spell it) as a bit of a weapon thing. Comically large goofy ahh 😭

Doesnt go to the human world more often than he needs to. Too much everything

This man HATES stepping foot in downtown he does NOT wanna be there ever-

Kinda perpetually grumpy, resting mildly angry face. He tries to be polite but isn't very talkative at all lol

He does in fact croak. I love frog

Not pictured cause I forgot but like. Has a little swirly stomach pattern

Reoccurring yokai at his stand tend to be: Roughraff, Sick-Kun, Quinn, Ebi, Caspian, Master Oden, and occasionally Bruff.

VC: No clue yet, something along the lines of a higher version of Walrus Captain from A hat In Time, or a less enthusiastic Captain Caviar from Cookie Run? (If you got ideas, feel free!)

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Dread || He/They/Xe || Human-Born Yokai

Basics:

Drain-Attributed Rank-S yokai of the Shady Tribe

Inspirit; kinda similar to intrusive thoughs. Worse case scenario stuff, things that make you think you're an awful person, dreading situations or overthinking anything, etc etc

Is sighted quite a bit around high-schools. Hormones+anxiety+prime place for embarassment? Makes his job too easy

He has low empathy, but isn't completely incapable. Doesn't make a lot of friends and honestly he could care less either way.

Rather flippant, dry humor kinda guy, kinda similar to Jax from tadc for reference

He does have hair under there (i thought thatd be obvious but then again you'd probably also expect him to have skin and a chest/stomach under his hoodie so aifkwod), but it's usually kinda greasy.

Heart is a weak point in battle. If he ever let's it be exposed in the first place, that is

Cannot be seen by Caspian earlier in the story. Around the point I'd expect him to be in most of my drawings, he's at 'watch' Rank-B

Likes to taunt people, the easier to provoke the better. He feeds off of negative reactions and emotions for both entertainment and soul food nom nom

Usually a sad reaction is better than an angry one for him. If he finds someone's emotional weakness he most likely Will Exploit it XnX

While he doesn't care for anyone, he tends to harass Fuwhirl and Negatibuzz the least.

VC: Dont kill me but Raggedy Andy from Raggedy Anne's Musical Adventure

youtube

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Swiss || He/Him || Human-Born Yokai

Basics:

Electic-Attributed Rank-C yokai of the Eerie Tribe

Inspirit; is why people (usually kids) are picky eaters. This can look like randomly losing an appetite/ just finding several things repulsive/I'm bald/nuance/ref

Wanders around wherever. Lives in one of the Tranquility Apartments officially tho.

(Fuwhirl lives w him after they reunite <333 long story short they know him)

Has pretty poor eating habits himself tbh

Is edible!! Technically!!! He would not reccomend it (he's cake roll flavored :'])

The swirl in his hair can be dyed different colors.)

Going off of that, he can regenerate. Useful, but kiiiinda painful

He's a bit of an a-hole, and absolutely doesn't know when to shut up. He doesn't like to fight tho surprisingly (°>°)

Sarcastic and quick to snap back at someone =u=

(There's a strange old man he helps with experiments concerning his odd biology....he hasn't been posted yet but he belongs to my friend @sketchdeath22)

VC: lol idk

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Fuwhirl || They/Them || Object-Born Yokai

Basics:

Wind-Attributed Rank-D yokai of the Mysterious Tribe

Inspirit; Makes people dizzy either randomly or after standing up ×□×

Lived at a circus for a while, but eventually it moved out of town. After a bit of aimless wandering they found their way to Blossom Heights 🌸!!!

Kinda stumbles when they walk, it's worse when they're distressed but a bit more easy to navigate when they're happier &u&

Naive, likes to think anyone's nice under the surface +▽+

Is kinda like Tattletell's in the way he had to be latched on to you to be effective. Typically via a backpack

Has one of those build-a-bear hearts inside him!!! Whoopie :)

VC: Uhhh I forgot atm but I will come back and edit lol

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Anyways, that's not including my like 'ocified versions of pre-existing characters' agsgydirofor I love yapping about ocs!!! Wahoo :)

#Anyways. Here's my guys!!!(gen neu)#Not sure what else to say time to be rid of this already #I tried to summarize. Honest #□ yolo watch 2!#●posts from yomakai #Swiss ykw #Kerosque #Caspian Hernandez #Caspian ykw #Fuwhirl #Dread ykw #yokai watch au #yo kai watch #yokai oc #Ermmm that's about it i think. Yippie

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thatfilthyanimal · 8 months

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tw: stalking, grooming, pedophilia, sexual abuse, past suicidal thoughts

I've recently been made aware that Dupsy is still talking about me and is now going to random Megamind fans that don't know me and telling them to avoid me. I'm also aware that they're doing this in the Ruby Gillman fandom. I have no words to really describe the level of discomfort this brings me, but I will attempt.

First of all, all the "grooming" allegations were thoroughly debunked and proven to be bullshit. I can't believe I have to even say this. I'm a victim of grooming and sexual abuse myself. It's extremely traumatic and life-altering shit, and never something I would want to inflict on someone else. I feel like it should be obvious, with the measures I took in the server to ensure no child is exposed to such things. I was recently diagnosed with PTSD due to the shit that happened to me when I was growing up, and between processing that in therapy sessions and stomaching transitioning in a near-constant hostile-to-trans-people online social media hellscape, I am tired.

I love Megamind, more than anything, and this is known and obvious to anyone who's met me. This movie saved my life when I was extremely suicidal and planning to end my life back in 2010. Watching the movie when I did gave me something to focus on, a distraction, and a responsibility as a fandom member that helped distract me long enough to get out of the planning mindset I was in. Had I not seen the movie, I do not think I would have stuck around. I will leave it at that.

And moderating fandom spaces for Megamind has been lovely! I adore this fandom. The people in it are extremely talented and sweet, and just so damn nice, like by default. I say this all the time but I've never experienced another fandom space quite like it. There are usually bad eggs in fandoms, and perhaps -I- am said "bad egg" to some, but genuinely this one is special. I have always felt that way, even when the bad eggs show up and make a stink. It has always felt worth being here for, to me.

And while I hate to give Dupsy the satisfaction of knowing they hurt me, I need to be honest-- it's been rough. I stopped talking in my server, I locked up on most of my friends and stopped talking even in DMs. I still struggle with severe anxiety in the server and have talked to Dal on various occasions about transferring the server ownership to him. He's been very patient with my freakouts and super understanding, but it's still hard. This WAS a place I felt safe, for over ten years! And now it feels like any minor can just say I'm a groomer or a pedo or whatever with ZERO consequences, just because they're mad, just because these are words that make people go "oh shit" and listen, and man! It's not ok! And this coupled with the fact that trans people are often called groomers just for existing, just… man! I'm tired. I'm so tired.

There are real, severe, damaging effects to these claims being thrown around so casually. It's hurtful to me, as a victim of sexual abuse, because when I came forward to people about what happened when -I- was a minor, I was told I "wanted it" and "asked for it". It was made to be my fault that I was abused, and I internalized it for years. It nearly killed me. I cannot stress enough how important it is to not use claims like pedophilia and grooming so lightly-- these are VERY damning terms to use on people and should be reserved for people ACTUALLY HARMING OTHERS. Being mad I banned you from the server is not "abuse" and using my Customer Service Voice to be nice to you and then being obviously tired of you when you were banned is not "emotional grooming". What the actual fuck. ALSO. This was well over a year ago! Why am I still having to post about this? Why are you still TALKING about me? And yet again I ask, where the HELL are your parents?

Anyway, if you've been wondering why I've been so quiet these days and struggling to socialize… honestly? It's this. I hate that this is what did it. I know people trust and believe me, I know the fandom backs me up regularly and I appreciate them all so much for it. I see it, but I never know how to respond. You guys continue to make this fandom feel safe for me even when my entire brain is screaming to run, and I appreciate you so much for it.

Kids deserve to be trusted when they tell people they've been hurt and I hate that the recent proshipping discourse or whatever you want to call it, this culty all-or-nothing shit, has a bunch of minors growing up feeling like EVERYTHING is something to call rapey or predatory, with apparently little room to distinguish when REAL abuse is happening to them. I don't blame anyone for believing Dupsy, and it's honestly better they DO believe all unproven claims of abuse by default, just to stay safe-- but man, it has consequences that follow people, and really should not be a thing to just throw around because you're mad at someone. I just can't believe they're STILL going around and reaching out to strangers telling them to avoid me… like, what the fuck.

I will be ok, I always am eventually, but I needed to say something, because it's honestly been a while since I've said much of anything.

Keep being kind. <3

#trigger warnings in post #Megamind #Ruby Gillman #RGTK #personal #sorry if you have no idea what the heck is happening #continue scrolling its all good #but also maybe uhhhhhh avoid this minor #like a lot

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callunavulgari · 9 months

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Top 25 Fics of 2023

1. whatever you want by Wildehack (tyleet) | Wolf 359 | Kepler/Jacobi | 5k

Kepler doesn't fuck him that first day, when Daniel swallows his pride like it's a hot coal he can feel boiling down to the pit of his stomach and dials the number left on the card. Heather Says: Back in 2017, Wolf 359 changed my life. I relisten to it every year. I reread fic. I sometimes write it. And THIS year, I was blessed with one of my favorites writing my favorites from Wolf 359. It's honestly exactly what I wanted out of a Wolf 359 fix it/coda.

2. god was a dog-man by @andthepeople | Teen Wolf | Derek/Stiles | 13k

“Do you have a secret teenage son?” Stiles demands, as soon as Derek opens the door. Heather Says: I did NOT watch the Teen Wolf movie this year. I did, however, relentlessly stalk reaction posts and (very select) gifsets. I also read this fantastic fic, which is now the movie in my brain because since I didn't see it, I'll never know.

3. then out of nowhere, somebody comes and hits you with an ooh la la la, ooh la la la, ooh la la la, ooh by @calciseptine | Deadpool | Peter/Wade | 49k

A man with spider-themed superpowers accidentally breaks into Wade's apartment. Heather Says: Deadpool is one of those fandoms that I'm technically a part of because I like it and I think Spiderman and Deadpool is both hilarious and hot, but it's always just on the edge of my peripherals. But sometimes Steve's fic just kind of creeps on me and demands my attention. This was my feel good fic this spring.

4. By the Laws of Magic by Lenore | The Sandman | Dream/Hob | 32k

It’s 1959, and Hob Gadling is working at a London auction house, amazing his colleagues with his uncanny knowledge of art and artifacts from the 14th century on. When he gets the assignment to catalogue a family library at a place called Fawney Rig, he looks forward to a working vacation in the country. What he finds is a house with a preternatural chill where odd disturbances happen daily, an ornate carved door with a secret clearly hidden behind it, and visions of his mysterious stranger every time he turns around. Heather Says: I honestly love this ship. The fairy tale elements combined with the very compelling idea that in another universe much like this one, Hob Gadling ends up saving Dream from his glass prison made for some truly great fiction.

5. Dawnshot Through the Heart by @sirnotappearinginthisblog | Wax&Wayne series | Wax/Wayne | WIP | 80k

Ten years ago, Wayne fled instead of letting himself get arrested for murder. He’s been an outlaw ever since, keeping one step ahead of the lawkeepers who want him dead or alive—especially Dawnshot. But his luck was bound to run out eventually, and he knows how it always ends for the Bad Guys in stories. Heather Says: I think that this is the only WIP on here but I cannot rightfully leave it off because I LOVED this fic this year. I love the Mistborn series, but I've never really sought out fic for it before. This one though, this one found me. The writing is SUPERB and I wish it was a bigger fandom because it deserves so much love, you guys. It's so so so good. I love Wax and Wayne's dynamic in the series. They're great. But also- what if they had an enemies to lovers thing going on that turned poly? WHAT IF?!

6. One Size Fits All by @entanglednow | Stranger Things | Eddie/Steve | 65k

Steve just wanted to do something nice for a friend, he doesn't mean to get Eddie's ring stuck on his finger, and it's definitely not his fault that everyone he knows is jumping to conclusions. Heather Says: This is not the last time that you will see this author or this ship on this list. I really would have thought that Steddie would have crept out of my brain right now, but NOPE. And part of that is because every couple weeks entanglednow drops an absolute BANGER of a fic that obliterates my brain for anything else.

7. you are spring by @wildehacked | Supernatural | Castiel/Dean | 20k

God makes a wish. His parents work some things out. Heather Says: I got very close to leaving this one off the list, not because it wasn't good or that it wasn't one of my top 25 but purely because I've been out of the Supernatural fandom for so many years. I mean, c'mon. I didn't watch the last FIVE seasons. However, getting to follow along wildehacked's rewatch journey on twitter was a blast from the past and then THIS lovely shining fic that they churned out lured me back in for one last nibble at this ship that took over my life for the better part of a decade. It is so incredibly amazing and since I never finished the series, I will happily go on pretending that this is how it ended.

8. Interim by starkraving | BotW/TOtK | Ganondorf/Link/Zelda | 95k

She has no throne. Girls without thrones should not have knights, but hers won’t go. Princess Zelda – the girl who killed Calamity – would love to fade into legend, but Link’s bought a house, he’s fighting off monsters, and he’s selling giant horses to strangely familiar Gerudo men. She'll never have any peace now. Heather Says: This fic. THIS FIC. Is so richly built. Is so intoxicating. It leans into found family. You spend chapter after chapter watching Zelda and Link traverse Hyrule with the hot Gerudo that they met along the way after the events of the first game. And it is so fucking compelling. Honestly, while I'm happy that they smooched, I would have been completely fine reading another 100k of just these three wandering Hyrule together, being absolute goblins. 10 out 10, will read again.

9. one hundred years past by tciddaemina | BotW/TotK | Ganondorf/Link | 38k

Link wakes up a century early. It changes everything. Heather Says: Can you tell that playing Tears of the Kingdom left me desperately thirsty for any and all Ganondorf content this summer? I'm a sucker for all sides of the poly triforce but I'll admit that Ganondorf and Link scratches that enemies to lovers itch PERFECTLY if it's done well. And this one is done well.

10. Step Right Up by entanglednow | Stranger Things | Steve/Eddie | 3k

Steve had mostly given up on trying to meet anyone new after everything, but it's been six months and his friends had started giving him pointed nudges to get out there again. Heather Says: Told you it wouldn't be the last you saw of entanglednow. I actually think that this might be my favorite fic that they've written? Which is saying a lot because I will scream it to the rafters that any Steddie fan should read their fic. But this is FUN HOUSE MIRROR MAZE and MISTAKEN IDENTITY KISSING. Guys, I have no chill about this fic. I have no chill about Steve's hands in Eddie's hair, or the sounds that he makes, or the smell of strawberry. It is just so so good.

11. the most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway is that it’s you by @greatunironic | Stranger Things | Steve/Eddie | 35k

Sixteen years after the world didn't end for the last time, Max Mayfield showed up on Steve’s doorstep and said, “You gonna walk me down the aisle in May or what?” Or, it’s 2002 and Steve Harrington attends a wedding, a funeral, and a birth. Heather Says: I genuinely do not think that I have words for this one. It is one of those all encompassing fics that sucks you in and just won't spit you out again. It hurts, an ache just under the breastbone. But god, it's so beautiful.

12. Fight Night by @rlnerdgirl | Teen Wolf | Derek/Stiles | 12k

Stiles starts fighting in college. He doesn't tell anyone. Heather Says: There are three...? Yeah, three Teen Wolf fics on this list. Three. Like it's 2015 again. Like my brain broke and time went ticking all the way back to when I was ridiculously invested in these characters. But honestly? All three Teen Wolf fics on this list are incredibly therapeutic. They get to be the ending for me instead of whatever clusterfuck good ole Jeff tried to pull. This one in particular is fantastic because it's canon-divergence after SEASON one. Yes, we have Erica and Boyd. Yes, Stiles is BAMF. It's a good read.

13. strange fear i ain’t felt for years by Sister | Batman | Tim/Jason | 31k

“Can’t believe a pretty thing like you has to come begging to the Red Hood,” he says against Tim’s neck. “Thought they’d be lining up down the block for you. Thought Daddy would need to get the shotgun.” Heather Says: Oh look, another ship and fandom that I was only peripherally aware of that had me in a chokehold for a good month and a half. I don't even like DC that much.

14. Silver-Tongue by starkraving | Baldur's Gate 3 | Astarion/Karlach | 9k

Astarion fast-talks an abnormal number of enemies into killing themselves in the shadow-cursed lands and the team makes idle (then less idle) conversation about it. Heather Says: Okay, so I STILL have not finished this game. I have however very carefully consumed as much content as I can get my hands on without being completely and totally spoiled. This was the first fic that I really loved in this fandom. It's no surprise that I ship Astarion happily with everyone, but damn is he good with Karlach in this one. Their characterization is perfect.

15. A Sign of The Morning by ToEdenandBackAgain | Stranger Things | Eddie/Steve | 86k

Vecna is dead. The Upside Down is cut off from Hawkins yet again. Steve is trying to go back to normal, whatever that is. He's also trying to figure out exactly how Eddie Munson has managed to fit so easily into his life. Heather Says: Honestly? What can I say about this one? It has 19,000 kudos despite being published last June. It's on a ridiculous number of collection/rec lists. The tension is exquisite. The found family? Even better.

16. Phantom of Truth by Haiju | Danny Phantom | Maddie Fenton & Danny Fenton | 58k

Locked away in a secret government lab with Phantom as her sole object of study, nothing stands between Maddie and the truth... except, perhaps, herself. Heather Says: Oh look, another fandom that I have never ever been a part of. I saw this REALLY NEAT and angsty tiktok (tw for ghosty gore) and basically immediately was sucked into a show that I've never even watched before. The comments lead me to this fic which is perfectly gen, angsty, and honestly absolutely perfect. I cannot get over how much I loved this.

17. Manacled by senlinyu | Harry Potter | Draco/Hermione | 370k

Harry Potter is dead. In the aftermath of the war, in order to strengthen the might of the magical world, Voldemort enacts a repopulation effort. Heather Says: I did the thing. I read the incredibly dark fic that I've been avoiding since 2018. I typically steer-clear of anything that is overly bleak and I do not tiptoe into non-con waters often. But one of our groomsmen who isn't even involved with fandom read this so that his girlfriend would watch Star Wars with him and then spent a good portion of a Halloween party talking it up. So I gave it a shot. Over all, it is too bleak for me. That said, I finished it in a weekend. I loved it. I hated it. I wish I'd broken it up over a longer period of time because the emotional bleed off of it was intense.

18. Ready for Love by @idiopathicsmile | Singin in the Rain | Cosmo/Kathy/Don | 12k

Don and Kathy would move in together. They would have a dog or two and then inevitably, a small parade of adorable little brats who would call him Uncle Cosmo, and they would spend less and less time with him, not on purpose but busy with the rest of their lives, and ultimately Cosmo would learn to make his peace with it because he’d have no other choice and he would have to try to move on and not live too much in his memories. He could picture it so clearly, he figured if the songwriting gig with Monumental didn’t pan out, he could always return to the backwater circuit with a new act: The Amazing Cosmo of the Cosmos—ladies and gentlemen, he sees the future, he reads the stars, he silently pines for his best married pal and all the while tap dancing! Don and Kathy inviting him along on their honeymoon, though—that part was a surprise. Heather Says: I LOVE this movie. It is one of my biggest comfort movies. I watch it to feel happy. I watch it when I'm sad. And I have always shipped these three but NEVER read fic for it. And honestly? I'm glad I waited for a good fic to find me because this one was perfect.

19. A Series of Forgettable Events by @trensu | Stranger Things | Steve/Eddie | 27k

Steve wanted to be a dad more than anything. Unfortunately, he was a single dude in his thirties which meant no adoption agency in the world was willing to give him a chance. Or at least no human adoption agency. Heather Says: Honestly just a delightful little jaunt in a world where Steve wants to be a dad, Eddie is a very overprotective siren, and the kids are, well. Little horrors. I love it. There's a sequel now which I am very patiently waiting to read it until I am less busy in RL.

20. the dry sand of daylight by @andthepeople | Inception | Arthur/Eames | 15k

Arthur is married to Eames for the better part of a decade. Then he wakes up. Heather Says: This fic left me ACHING for the Inception fandom circa 2010-2012. When livejournal was still a thing and the fandom community was alive and thriving. It is so achingly tender and perfect. I had forgotten how much I loved them.

21. brutalist masterpieces by @greatunironic | Stranger Things | Steve/Eddie | 12k

Ten years on, in a town in Nova Scotia, on the edge of the Atlantic, Eddie finds Steve again, and also maybe himself. Heather Says: Maybe that's my thing this year. Achingly sweet tender pieces that leave you reeling in the aftermath. This fic is SO incredibly beautiful.

22. What Made Milwaukee Famous by synthetica | Danny Phantom | Vlad/Danny | 30k

Ten years after establishing a tenuous truce, Danny crash-lands at Vlad's Milwaukee lakehouse with a particularly nasty wound, three days recovery time, and absolutely nothing to do but talk to his long-lost archnemesis. Heather Says: I'm told that this is something of a rarepair. However, from the limited information that I have from the series I can say with full certainty that two ghostly beings locked for years as enemies growing up and meeting in the middle? Fully my thing.

23. then now and always by @raisesomehale | Teen Wolf | Derek/Stiles | 13k

Stiles is stuck. Stiles is stuck in the fucking snow in the middle of bum-fuck-nowhere at night with a broken down car three days before Christmas, and the nearest tow truck company—over fifty miles away—doesn’t open until morning. Heather Says: And here we have the promised third Teen Wolf fic, the most cathartic of the bunch. I am so so sweet on future fic particularly in this fandom with missed chances. And this one is just so syrupy sweet. It's winter! There's horses! Derek's an alpha! They smooch. Anyway, this is how I cope with a series finale that didn't happen and a movie that doesn't exist.

24. Terminus by @rcmclachlan | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 4k

"Keep me here," he begs against Mobius's lips. "You must keep me here." Heather Says: What do you mean you didn't spend all three replays of the Loki series finale weeping into a pillow? What do you mean you didn't spend the next few days trying to find the perfect coda? What do you mean that you didn't find this fic and positively expire from the sheer fucking tenderness in Mobius' voice? What do you mean? What. do you. mean? Anyway, I know I'm not supposed to have number one favorites. This list exists because I cannot condense it further than 25. But guys, this was my favorite fic this year.

25. Eye Of The Beholder by @entanglednow | Stranger Things | Steve/Eddie | 22k

Eddie works himself up to ask Steve if he can borrow his instant camera, because the type of pictures he wants to take are…not the kind he can get developed in town. Heather Says: And to round it out, another Steddie. This one with sexy photos. The tension is killer.

#heather says what #top 25 #year in review #fic recs #recommendations #2023 #new year's memes #teen wolf #stranger things #loki #inception #supernatural #danny phantom #dc #harry potter

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fl3shm4id3n · 2 years

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𝓑𝓮𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓪 𝓣𝓪𝓶𝓪𝓻𝓪𝓷𝓮𝓪𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓬𝓻𝓪𝓼𝓱 𝓵𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓭 𝓸𝓷 𝓟𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓸𝓻𝓪 𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝓘𝓘

ꜱᴏɴɢ: ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴇᴇᴋɴᴅ - ꜱᴛᴀʀɢɪʀʟ ɪɴᴛᴇʀʟᴜᴅᴇ (ꜰᴛ. ʟᴀɴᴀ ᴅᴇʟ ʀᴇʏ)

Tw: Betrayal, slavery, torture, not so sibling rivalry, some angst but majority is fluff.

Author’s note: I manage to squeeze something for a part two of Tamaranean headcanon. The Sullys know a bit more about reader. Idk why I just like the scene where the Tulkun return into the village, so I wanted to add it to the headcanon. Sorry that it’s not much.

Masterlist

One day, you along with the Sully kids and the Metkayina kids have been haging out. “Y/n? what did your sister do to get to banish from your home?” Ao’nung had asked as Tsireya responded for you. “I don’t think that’s appropriate to ask” she said as you responded. “No, no, it’s fine, I think it’s best you all know” you said. Then again you spoke again once getting everyone’s attention. “When she was born, she had an illness, that illness prevented her from from flying or having the strength me and my people had. Then after a while, I was born, I was born just like the people in Tamaran.” You talked while they paid close attention. “She had become resentful towards me, because I had something she didn’t have, she began to hate me. I believed was because our parents didn’t see her fit to inherited the throne due to her illness.” You spoke sadly looking down at your hands.

“She would do things to me, she’d hurt me in many ways. Until our parents sent us to a school in another planet, so that they could train us into becoming warriors in Tamaran since our enemy had been trying to go to war with us. We are peaceful being but if we have to fight, then we fight. My sister had become the greatest in combat. During a test, she had been beating me to all the tasks. Until I had accidently knocked her off the field, which was floating in open space. I went to save her from her death, but after I did, she attacked me again, nearly killing me.” You now sounded sad.

“Our tutors have sent her back home, since they believed that she had no heart for attacking me the way she did after I saved her. But she did not go home, she went to our enemy, she told them about our secret defense system and other stuff. Then my sister had demanded my parents to hand me over, and If I ever return, then she’ll destroy Tamaran. So I went with her, I had become her slave, she did whatever she wanted to me, most of it was torture.” You said, this made your stomach turn a bit, still remembering the torture all those five years.

“Then one day we both got kidnapped by another race, they had decided to experiment on us with solar energy. But I manage to get away due to the attack to an attack from their enemy, that’s how I got my powers. I had saved my sister again, but just like the last time she had tried to kill me again. Again I was sold as a slave but this time I manage to escape, and that’s how I ended up here.” You had been in tears, you felt Tuk hug you, feeling sad about the whole story. “Even after everything she had done, I still love her, I cannot come to hate her.” Ao’nung then spoke, surprised “forgive her? after everything she did? you saved her twice and she tried to kill you no one, but twice” he said but you just shrugged it off. “I know, but she is till my sister and I love her, I can’t really hate her honestly.” You admitted.

Kiri had been the one who told Jake and Neytiri your whole story, they felt bad, seeing that you had lost everything but yet, you’re still standing and were forgiving.

Jake and Neytiri had basically adopted you since the day you had arrived, their care for you grew stronger when you had helped them recue their children. They saw you as a good influence towards their children.

Neytiri saw that you were pure from the heart, even after everything you had gone through, you were still smiling.

Ever since you had told your friends what had happened, Tuk had made it her mission to tell you and let you know how much she loves you. No matter what Tuk always told you that she loves you and that you’re a good sister.

You and Tuk had become very close, she was like a little sister to you since the day you had arrived. Tuk was innocent and deserves nothing but happiness. You honestly saw Tuk as your little brother, the brother you may never see grow up.

But you believed Tuk had been put in your way, and you now had a younger sister to look after. You would give her the love you weren’t able to give your baby brother.

You’d often be spotted with Tuk, playing, swimming or just hanging out together. Tuk was basically attached to your hip.

Also, you and Tsireya were practically besties, you both would be with Tuk or sometimes hanging out together, you had also considered her a sister too.

Sometimes you’d take her on your back and you’d fly around the village for fun or you’d be hanging out with her in her marui making bracelets or weaving each other clothes.

Tsireya would be the one to do your hair, since you just let it be. She thought about braiding your mane like hers, when she did, you practically called each other twins.

Since you weren’t really the fighter type, you had decided to get into healing. You had asked Ronal if she could teach you, at first she wasn’t sure but she agreed.

Since you had been learning how to heal others who’d get injured, it made you feel good knowing you were helping others without having to fight, unless needed.

While you learned Ronal had been interested in about you. She’d ask you questions about your home and your family among other things. When she heard about how your sister betrayed you, she felt bad but also saw how forgiving you were. If she were in your case, she’d be enraged.

You honestly reminded Tonowari of his own daughter, you and Tsireya were both just the sweetest people to ever live. He thought it be good to keep you around since you were a good influence on both his kids like Rotxo.

That day you had been weaving Tuk a new top, until you heard the Horn go off, getting everyone’s attention. You stepped out along with to see the commotion, then you heard Tsireya saying that the Tulkun had returned. Looking at the ocean, you saw the Tulkun swimming towards the village, Tuk then went to get Kiri so that she could see too. You along with the Sullys had joined in. Rotxo was kind enough to introduce you all to his spirit bother. Then you all went for a swim with the Tulkun. Kiri and Tuk on the top fin, while you and Rotxo at the bottom fin.

Some had swam by in their ilus, you spotted Ao’nung waving at you all, so you waved back. As you all swam with the Tulkun, you saw other Tulkun of all ages, adults, teens and some calf swimming around the Metkayina. It honestly reminded you of home, you remember how some warriors would come back home and be greeted with their families. It was nice seeing everyone happy, specially reuniting with their brothers and sisters. You had met Tsireya’s spirit sister and you had also met Rao and her calf. You were in tears scene such a beautiful view, a mother with her child. That type of vision always warmed your heart.

#avatar the way of water #avatar 2022 #avatar x reader #avatar x you #avatar x y/n #atwow #atwow x reader #platonic #platonic relationships #the Sully's #sully family #sully family x reader #atwow headcanons #tamaranean reader #tamaranean y/n #female reader #female y/n #aphrodite's writing #aphrodite's headcanons

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lawnchairthethird · 3 months

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I’m gonna give yall a quick glimpse into my trip to visit my family. And then I’m going to go home and find a therapist. Holy shit.

-me, husband, two dogs drive 9 hours to visit my parents. We don’t visit a lot because the drive/bringing dogs vs finding financial means to get dog care. My dog is seriously epileptic and cannot be left alone for any length of time.

-my parents live in RURAL America. It’s honestly a little scary here. I lived here for a bit in high school but the house was in town. Now they live an acres of land off a dirt road. It’s actually beautiful except they haven’t maintained anything and their gorgeous house is gross and the driveway is literally like crumbling away.

- the reason we decided to visit is my stepdad has cancer. He was in remission, but it’s really likely it’s back and if it is it’s terminal. He’s been in my life since I was 8 but the relationship is really complicated.

-there’s an actual stockpile of guns and ammo in the basement that makes me extremely uncomfortable.

-my mom is…idk I don’t have words. She texts me that ever since they moved here everything has gone wrong. Three of their pets died (they were all extremely old, but it just kept happening one after the other). But she thinks there’s a demon in the house. She sent me pictures of her covered in blood and she keeps “falling” and crashing cars. Idk if she’s on drugs (meth, heroin, and fentanyl are HUGE problems in this town). Idk if my stepdad is beating her. But her legs broken because she ran it over with her car because “the car shifted itself out of park?) she refused to go to the doctor for a month, worked on it, finally got a cast and then she was literally in the bathroom sawing at it with a dremel to ‘make it easier to walk on’

-we were suppose to sleep in the basement which was always nice and had a huge tv and air mattress. Welp- my younger brother turned it into a teenage boy sex den. It’s GROSS. Air mattress is popped. We tried to sleep on the couch, but I think it’s moldy in the basement and made me have trouble breathing.

- my sister is home visiting too (she’s in college/military). She’s just drinking herself stupid to deal with it.

-and to top it off, my dog is being a huge asshole to their dog who is the sweetest.

-my husband and I are going to visit his parents who live one town over. They’re Trump supporting “Christians”

-we’re too tired to safely drive home today, but holy fuck.

-both my parents have tried to convince me my stomach problems are cancer 🙃🙃🙃

-there’s not a single clean towel.

So yeah that’s my trauma. Sorry for super over sharing but I feel so stuck and literally have no escape for like two days. Hopefully one if we leave tomorrow and drive overnight.

#personal

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enthusiasticharry · 2 years

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𝐅𝐈𝐂 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓 | 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 10.0k

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: i cannot believe that I can finally say that the first chapter of regret me is out now. i've honestly been cooking this one for a while and i'm so excited for everyone to read it! it's honestly been my lil baby in my brain for so long and i cannot wait to hear what everyone thinks and has to say about it! pls let me know what you think, what you think of the characters and the plot and what you're excited for, i want to hear it all! (pls i've wanted to speak to someone for so long about this)

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language, drug and alcohol use, family issues and a very sexy 70s rockstar Harry Styles.

𝐩𝐥𝐬 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝟏𝟗𝟕𝟎 HERE

Los Angeles, Spring 1970

There was so much that YN didn’t know about life. She was aware of this, of course, and she had faith that one day she would but sometimes life had other ideas for her. On the difficult days, the idea that one day she would have full control of her life made these days a little easier to stomach. That didn't mean that sometimes YN didn't feel hopeless, or as though her life was spinning in circles that she had absolutely no control over. It often felt like that was more of the case.

YN had lived the beginning of her life by the book, prim and proper and under a magnifying glass. In her childhood, she was satisfied with her life, especially the attention that came along with it, but as she grew up it all caught up with her. Living her life as the daughter of a Senator and Socialite in Los Angeles meant that there was no time for fuck ups, no time for even the slightest incline to anyone that her life wasn't anything but perfect. Her father was one of the most influential and important people in the whole state of California, and she knew from a very young age that she would not be the one to fuck that up for him. YN always supposed that was the reason that they only had one child – to have the picture-perfect family but limit any fuck ups that may come along with that.

“Remember, YN, this isn’t about us – it’s about our country,” Her father would always say to her, every day, as though she had forgotten it from the day prior, “We’re the ones who set the example.”

“And that example needs to be perfect,” Her mother would chime in, softly spoken but always with that rough edge that would make YN shudder, “Right, darling?”

That word haunted YN her entire life. Perfect. It was easily the most used word in their household, and it was therefore the word that YN hated the most. The word caused YN to question everything that she was doing in her life. Yet, that word also caused YN to realise that she wasn’t living her life, but she was living the life they had moulded for her. They had orchestrated their perfect life, and YN had put up with it for eighteen years, but she was done.

YN had never seen central Los Angeles in the nighttime until this point in her life. It had taken her eighteen years to buck up the courage to forgo her perfect life for a night and venture into the city that she loved so much in the dark. She was dressed in a floral blouse and a pair of flared jeans (ones that she had secretly purchased a few days prior when her mother had been distracted by diamonds) and felt like she could fit in. She was no longer the Senator’s daughter, she was YN – the rebellious eighteen-year-old who wanted to know what she had missed all of these years.

When YN looked back, she couldn’t pinpoint exactly what caused her to snap and finally venture out on her own. It was just a random day in April when she decided that enough was enough, and perfect wasn’t what she wanted for herself. She wanted to know what was out there, and what she was missing. In some ways, she could have seen her childhood as her parents trying to protect her from the dangers that were in the world but as an eighteen-year-old, she wanted nothing more than to know what those dangers were.

YN kept darting her eyes from left to right as she continued walking, as though at any second the cameras were going to have spotted her and she was going to be busted. Or maybe someone will recognise her and that’s it, she would be forced to go back to her little prim and proper life. It was only when she started to get into the more crowded areas that she realised that nobody cared. Well, people noticed that she was there but were all too intoxicated to care why.

“Go on, honey, get your tits out for us!”

It wasn’t even the words that shocked her, because obviously, she had never heard such crude language before, but the fact that they saw her as a normal girl. Again, looking back, being catcalled on the street wasn’t something to be proud of, but she honestly didn’t mind the attention.

“Assholes!” The voice came from behind her, and she didn’t recognise it, “Leave her alone, go find someone else to annoy.”

Turning around, YN saw one of the coolest people she had ever seen in her life. A girl, maybe a little older than she stood in a halter neck top and a pair of jean shorts with not a care in the world. She even had sunglasses on the top of her head (it was pitch-black outside) and bangles on her wrists that rattled when she moved.

“You all right, babe?” The girl looked concerned about her, and YN was frozen to the spot. This was the first time that she had spoken to someone that hadn’t been vetoed by her parents in a long time, “Just ignore them, babe, they’re assholes.”

“Thank you,” YN nodded, tucking her hair behind her ears.

“Don’t worry about it, we have to look after each other, right?” The girl nudged YN’s shoulder with hers, “I’m Vivienne, by the way.”

“YN.”

“You look like a fish out of the water, babe,” Even though she was slightly mocking YN, there was still sincerity behind her voice, “Do you know where you’re going?”

YN released a breath that she had no idea she had been holding this entire time, “I don’t really. I haven’t… this is my first time –”

“Your first time on the strip, babe?” YN nodded, “Well, I happen to be an expert in the field that is Los Angeles at night, so I’d say you’ve hit the jackpot.”

Without a single hesitation, Vivienne slung her arm through YN’s and started marching her through the streets of Los Angeles with a pep in her step. It was risky, at the end of the day, as she had no idea who this girl was, but deep-down YN felt as though she could trust her. Vivienne babbled about all of the best places, and YN listened. The only time YN opened her mouth was to apologise when she knocked into someone on the street, but that person didn’t even seem to bat an eyelid in her direction.

To say that it was nearing the early hours of the morning, the streets were crowded, and the air was still warm enough for the majority of people to be showing more skin than YN ever had in her life. She hadn’t buttoned her blouse the whole way down, meaning that there was a slither of her stomach exposed and that was honestly the most exposed she had ever been.

The walk that Vivienne was taking her on was long, but listening to her talk about her life and this place they were going made it seem like it was over in a heartbeat. For some reason, YN felt as though she was a tourist in the place where she had grown up her entire life. But she was in a way because she had never seen this side of Los Angeles before, and it was all new to her.

Gazzarri’s was, in Vivienne’s words, the place to be for the best rock n’ roll on the strip. YN had never even heard of the place before, but from the long queue that covered the entire sidewalk, she thought that she was maybe the only one. Names covered the exterior of the building that YN had never heard of before, and the music was so loud that she could hear it from where she was standing outside. This is what YN imagined when she thought of living her life, all the people and the music and everything in between. She just wished that she wasn’t such a novice.

Without a single hesitation, Vivienne bounced to the front of the queue and was immediately let in by the guard on the door. YN sheepishly smiled at the man who only grunted in response and allowed herself to be pulled inside by Vivienne. The place was full to the brim, and in all honestly, she had no idea how any of those people would fit in if they were let inside. Smoke clouded her vision, and the music was so loud that YN felt as though she couldn’t breathe. It was only when she familiarised herself with her surroundings that she realised that there was a band playing on the stage. They made a beeline for the bar, which meant that YN was on the receiving end of a few pushes and shoves, but nobody truly seemed to care. It was as though nobody cared about anyone other than themselves at all.

The bar lined the left side of the room, complete with people frantically working behind it to keep up with the orders from people on their side. The entire place was alive. YN hadn’t even known that life could look like this, and she had seemingly found herself amid a girl who knew exactly what to do. Vivienne pushed her way through the gaggle of people at the bar and leant herself on its wooden top, front and centre. YN was a step or two behind her, but she made sure that she didn’t lose Vivienne in the crowd, or she would seriously have no idea what she would do.

YN thought that they would be standing there waiting for a century. In all honesty, she didn’t know how Vivienne had managed to beckon a bartender over and order a round of shots as quickly as she had. YN hadn’t drunk before, well not properly, but it was certainly something she was curious about. A few years ago, she had been at a party with her parents, and they were giving out complimentary champagne, and even though YN was years underage she managed to sneak a glass and downed it in one. She didn’t feel light and airy, or though she wasn’t in control of her body, so she stole another, and then a third. After her third drink her cheeks were flushed and the world was a little blurry around the edges, and it made the night a lot easier to stomach. This would be her first time trying hard alcohol, like the bottles that sat on her parents’ bar cart that she had been told many a time to stay away from.

Eight small glasses filled to the brim with a clear liquid were then passed to her and Vivienne. YN moved so that she was standing next to Vivienne, and watched as the girl brought the first glass to her lips and the second one straight after in quick succession. YN picked up her first two, planning to do the same but the second the harsh alcohol touched the back of her throat she coughed, and Vivienne’s widened her eyes at her.

“You, okay?” YN nodded at Vivienne’s words, “Was that your first shot babe?”

“Yes,” Even though YN was grimacing, that didn’t stop her from lifting her second glass to her lips and throwing it back in one.

Vivienne cheered, “Jesus, girl. I can already tell that this is going to be a great night.”

It was a little hard to hear Vivienne over the music that was playing, but YN managed to figure out what she was saying. The two girls threw back their last two shots and YN was being pulled through the crowd by Vivienne again.

There were cheers around them, and YN realised that the band that was on the stage had finished and was now leaving. It confused YN slightly as to why now that the band had finished, they were making their way towards the front. Wouldn’t that mean it was finished? All in all, YN had no idea what time it was, or what she was doing or supposed to be doing.

It didn’t take long for the two girls to push their way to the front of the stage, just to the right near some steps that were cornered off for the musicians to come off and on.

“This is about to change your life, babes,” Vivienne muttered into YN’s ears as the cheers subsided.

“What’s happening?” YN was embarrassed that she didn’t have a single idea of what was going on, but at the same time, she knew that if she didn’t ask, she would never know.

“The best singer of our generation is about to walk this stage,” Vivienne smiled. Even though YN had no idea who that was, she could tell that it was going to be good just by the excitement that Vivienne was showing and the rest of the room.

It seemed as though everyone was waiting for something, and the second that the lights in the room dropped YN knew it was this. The curtain covering the stage dropped, a drum beat kicked in and the lights around them flashed. The entire crowd came to life when he stepped onto the stage, even Vivienne at the side of her but YN just stood there, completely enamoured by the sight in front of her.

In all honesty, she didn’t know where to look. She didn’t know whether to look at the girl on the drums who seemed to be doing all of this without breaking a sweat, the girl on the keys who moved her body rhythmically with the beat or the guy on guitar with long hair that just seemed so fucking cool. It was when YN saw him that she knew exactly where to look.

He came out with his microphone in hand, adorned in a denim two-piece that was left unbuttoned at his chest. His whole body moved with such ease, and what a body it was. If this was what YN was missing, she never wanted to go back. He had the whole room in the palm of his hand the second he stepped onto the stage, but it was only when he opened his mouth and finally started to sing that YN was one of those people too.

It was unlike anything she had ever heard before. The way he sang with such ease, as though he didn’t have to think about it made YN’s stomach fill with butterflies. The more of the song he sang, the more that it became familiar to YN.

The few times that YN had been allowed to leave the house unsupervised was to go see her friends from school at their house. Even then, there were always guards waiting for her in a car with blacked-out windows. It was a few months ago, and her friend (whom she wouldn’t class as a friend, mainly the best of a bad bunch of people) was raving about this new artist that she’d found.

YN loved music. It had always been the key to her heart and an escape, but she never had the chance to listen to anything that wasn’t certified fit for her by her parents. No matter how much she tried, she couldn’t help but get lost in the music and wonder what else was out there. She sang in the school choir, and the day that she had been given her first solo changed her life. It made her believe that maybe she was all right at this singing thing too, even though her parents would hate the idea of their perfect daughter becoming a singer. Maybe a Christian Evangelical singer but that didn’t exactly float YN’s boat.

The record that her friend had put on was from this man, the one that was standing on the stage in front of her doing things that shocked her and excited her at the same time. She spent the first song racking her brain for his name, and she hadn’t even noticed that she was singing along with him. YN picked up lyrics quickly, as she always had, but she was starting to wonder how maybe times she had listened to that record in the space of a few hours.

“Well, that was a lovely welcome,” The man spoke into the microphone as the applause around him drew out, “I’m Harry Styles, and I’d like to sing a few songs for you tonight if that’s all right?”

Harry Styles. That was his name. YN was shocked that she’d forgotten a name like that. It wasn’t exactly one that screamed forgettable. YN wondered if that was the name he was born with, or if he had picked it up once he had started recording. Either way, it was a rockstar’s name if YN had ever heard one.

The concert continued, and everything that man did on stage made YN’s insides scream. The way he pushed his curls back off his forehead, wiped the sweat off his brow with a towel, ran the microphone down his chest and thrust his hips – it all screamed sex. It was everything that her parents had warned her was a sin, and that the people who acted in that way were menaces to society. But no matter how much she tried to push that out of her mind, she couldn’t tell if she wanted to be that person or be with that person.

After starting with Only Angel, he moved on to Meet Me in the Hallway, and Two Ghosts and Woman. All of these songs he not only sang with such passion and fire and with a gorgeous voice that drew anybody in but also had such deep, moving and powerful lyrics that YN remembers being lost in at her friend's house. It was the same right now, hearing them live.

“We’re about halfway through,” Harry spoke into the mic, and there were a few grunts and boos from the crowd which made him chuckle, “Now this is our first concert since we released our debut record and we thought we might do something a little fun.”

There were cheers from the crowd, and YN had no idea what was going on. She turned to Vivienne who seemed to have the same perplexed look on as many people in the crowd. There were a few girls around YN that were screaming and pushing and trying to do everything they could to get closer to the stage, but Vivienne and YN stood their ground.

“Okay, we’re going to sing one of my favourites from the new album, and I thought it would be a good idea to bring one of you on stage to sing it with me.”

The entire room erupted into screams, so much so that YN had to resist the urge to cover her ears from the sound. Vivienne had seemed so cool, calm, and collected but the second the screams started she joined in too.

Los Angeles was the land of possibility. Of course, YN knew that. She had heard all of the stories from her parents of the low lives that pack up and move there with dreams of becoming a star. She’d read magazines that her mother hid from her of famous movie stars who found their fame sitting at bars and rock stars who found their fame singing in places like these. YN believed that most of the people in this room would kill for that opportunity, but YN had to lay low. Even though she was having the time of her life there was still that nagging feeling in the back of her head about what would happen if someone noticed who she was, and that information was relayed back to her parents. It would possibly be the end of her.

“Okay,” He laughs, and YN could get lost in those dimples that were adorned on his cheeks, “Sounds like you all like that idea. Okay, make as much noise as you can, and I’ll make my decision.”

YN stood there, sort of hiding behind Vivienne but she couldn’t ever be truly hidden as she was so close to the front of the stage. YN watched as he surveyed everyone screaming and clamouring to be chosen, but she just stood there. Even Vivienne was shouting, but YN just tried to drown the sound out as best she could.

He lifted his microphone to his lips and YN thought that she’d finally made it out unscathed and then he looked directly at her. He held up his hands to block the lights out and started walking towards her. YN shook her head at him, not letting her eyes draw away from his. He nodded his head at her, and she shook hers again.

“You want to do it?” He spoke into the mic, “You there, in the white blouse?”

“Oh my god,” Vivienne slapped YN on the shoulder, “He’s talking about you, babe.”

“He isn’t,” YN shook her head, “He can’t be.”

“He is,” Vivienne pushed her forward towards him, “And he’s coming right towards us.”

When YN turned away from Vivienne, he was standing right in front of her. He leaned down so that he was face to face level with her and smiled. YN didn’t know what to do so she just smiled back up at him, and he only grew wider.

“So,” At this point, he wasn’t talking into the mic, he was instead talking just to her, “What do you think? Do you wanna come up here?”

YN opened her mouth to reply but the next thing she knew Vivienne was answering for her, “Yes! Yes, she would.”

Harry laughed and Vivienne’s enthusiasm at the entire thing, “This is your friend, I’m guessing?” YN nodded, “Well it seems to me like she’s decided for you. Come on then, up you get.”

A man suddenly appeared at the side of her and moved the barrier that cut off the crowd from the stairs that lined the side of the stage. He waited at the top of the stairs for her, extending his hand out for her to grab when she reached the top.

He leaned down to whisper in her ear, “What’s your name?”

“YN,” She muttered back to him, leaning closer to say it into his ear, “I’m YN.”

There was a slight look on his face that YN couldn’t recognise, but then he just beamed a smile at her and pulled her towards the centre of the stage. Thankfully the lights were so bright that she couldn’t see anybody but the first few front rows, and even then, she was getting a few less-than-lovely stares from people.

“So,” He speaks into the microphone this time, dropping her hand so that he can be passed his guitar, “This is one of my favourite songs from the record, Ever Since New York,” He turned to look at YN who truly looked like a deer in headlights, “You know it?”

YN couldn’t explain to him that she had only listened to his record for a few hours, and she hoped that her memory of lyrics was truly going to come in clutch right now. If it didn’t, she was not only going to embarrass herself in front of the heartthrob of the century but also an entire room of people that probably knew who she was. So, she just nodded.

He nodded back at her, and the music started. Out of all of the songs on his record, this was probably one of the ones that YN loved the most. It was just so raw and honest and beautiful if YN was telling the truth. Once it was his time to sing, he moved closer to the microphone and YN stood by him, trying not to focus on anything other than not getting the lyrics wrong, or the timing.

“Tell me something/ Tell me something/ You don’t know nothing/ Just pretend you do,” There was something about watching this man perform from a metre in front of her that YN couldn’t explain. It was exhilarating and hearing the crowd sing along with him, knowing that a few minutes ago she was in there baffled her brain.

“Oh, tell me something I don’t already know,” YN had been so mesmerised by him that she hadn’t even noticed him finish singing and moved away from the microphone, motioning with his head for her to step forward whilst continuing to play.

With a deep breath, she stood in front of the microphone and started to sing, “Brooklyn saw me/ Empty at the news/ There’s no water inside this swimming pool/ Almost over/ Had enough from you.”

When there was a slight lilt in the song she turned and looked over at Harry, and he was staring directly at her. He was still playing, but it was almost as though he was on autopilot and all he could focus on was her. It made her cheeks heat, and a smile crosses over her face but it gave her this urge to continue, as though she was truly doing well.

“And I’ve praying/ I never did before/ Understand I’m talking to the walls,” Without even thinking her arms were lifting as she was singing, “I’ve been praying ever since New York.”

She moved to the side slightly so Harry could join her, the two of them singing in such close proximity into one microphone causing electricity throughout her entire body. He never looked away from her, never drew his eyes away from hers as they both sang his song together.

“Oh, tell me something I don’t already know/ Oh, tell me something I don’t already know.”

It was electric, that was the only way that YN could describe what was happening on stage. She could hear the audience cheering, and Vivienne was screaming for her just where YN had left her minutes before.

“Tell me something/ Tell me something/ You don’t know nothing/ Just pretend you do/ Tell me something just before you go.”

YN would be lying if she said that they didn’t sound good together – they sounded amazing. Here she was, standing and singing with this rockstar who thought he was doing something nice for a fan of his and singing with her, and here YN was soaking up every moment of her dream that she didn’t even realise was her dream.

“Oh, tell me something I don’t already know!”

As they finished singing, YN couldn’t help the disappointment that bubbled in her chest. She wanted to stay, and she wanted to continue singing. She wanted nothing more than that. He pulled his guitar off and put it on its stand and walked over to her. He pulled her closer to him, and she could smell the tobacco scent on his clothes and the slight hint of whiskey on his breath.

“Come find me afterwards, yeah?” He spoke into her ear over all of the shouting.

YN smiled, “Yeah.”

“Everyone, give it up for YN wasn’t she amazing?” The crowd cheered and she gave one last little wave before making her way down the stairs. The man allowed her back into the crowd and Vivienne immediately threw her arms around her new friend.

“Jesus!” Vivienne looked as though she was going to explode, “Why didn’t you tell me you were hiding those lungs girl?”

“I didn’t think I would ever be using them, that’s why!”

“You were fucking amazing, and I’m not just saying that,” Vivienne said with sincerity in her voice that YN appreciated, “God, you could even really be something, babe, I mean everyone loved you. Harry couldn’t take his eyes off of you.”

“I don’t know,” YN shook her head, “It was only a singsong, Vivienne.”

“If you say so,” She shrugs, “But I think it was more than a singsong.”

The concert continued with no other words spoken between the girls. YN tried to concentrate on what was happening in front of her but all she could think about was what had just happened. She had just been on stage, singing and it wasn’t solo in the church choir – it was to an actual song. YN was flying, she honestly couldn’t believe it.

Out of everything that YN had ever done in her life, this was honestly the craziest and the thing that had brought her so much joy. She had no idea that life could feel like this, let alone that she would be able to experience it outside the confines of her parents. She had no idea if she would ever be able to do it again. She wished that she could just relive it, just for a second.

“Thank you all for coming out tonight, we appreciate it,” He smiles out to all of the crowd, “I’m Harry Styles, and this is our last song. This is Kiwi.”

The second that the drums kicked in; YN was straight back into the concert. All of the thoughts surrounding what had happened earlier had gone, and all she could think about was what was happening on the stage in front of her. This song, if she wouldn’t go to hell for saying it, oozed sex, and rock n’ roll. It was mesmerising.

“When she’s alone/ She goes home to a cactus/ In a black dress/ She’s such an actress.”

YN hoped that she wasn’t making this up when she swore that Harry was looking directly at her when he sang that line. YN also swore that he winked at her as he did so. If she wasn’t already flushed and sweating from the heat in the room, she definitely would be now.

He finished the song and the whole place erupted. It was unlike anything YN had ever heard before and she was in awe. Once the music had stopped, the people around her slowly started to move.

“Babes, I need the bathroom, are you coming?” Vivienne knocked YN out of her trance and nodded. She accepted Vivienne’s hand and was pulled into the bathroom, and then into the stall with her. With every movement that YN made she was in a daze, as though she wasn’t in control of her movements.

YN leaned against the door and was ready to turn around and give Vivienne her privacy when YN realised what she was doing. When YN saw the dollar bill rolled up, along with a card and a little bag of white powder YN knew what she was about to do.

There was one side of YN that was truly thinking of listening to her parents and getting the fuck out of there. But then on the other side, the little louder and overbearing other side of her brain was telling her to say. The other side of her brain was that one that had just been on stage with a rockstar and sung her little heart out.

“You want some, babe?”

The second that Vivienne asked her that question YN knew that there wasn’t any turning away from this now. She was hooked. Every single little thing about it made YN wish that she lived this life and had this freedom without people watching her every move. That was probably why there was no hesitation in her voice when she nodded at Vivienne.

“Go on, then.”

YN felt as though she was having an out-of-body experience. Everything was making her laugh and smile, and Vivienne seemed to be feeling the exact same. The two of them pushed their way out of the small, disgusting bathroom and into the corridor that extended back to the club and then to what YN assumed was backstage.

The two girls turned to stumble their way back into the actual club, but that didn’t last long when they realised that someone was calling her name from behind them.

“Excuse me,” A man that she didn’t recognise stopped them in their tracks, “Are you YN?”

“Yup,” She smiled, giving the man a little nod. She was truly floating now. Even more, than she had been after finishing on the stage, “What can I do for you?”

“Harry would like to see you,” He spoke professionally, but both YN and Vivienne couldn’t hide the shock on their face, “If you’d like to follow me.”

Vivienne slipped her arm through YN’s, and they walked arm-in-arm behind the man. Vivienne leaned closer to YN and whispered, “Babe, you are totally getting some tonight.”

The prospect excited YN. The fact that she had two substances running through her system that she hadn’t experienced made for a carefree YN. She hadn’t ever felt like this before, and in all honesty, she could get used to it. She felt as though she could conquer the world with no questions asked.

The man opened the door at the end of the corridor, and they were welcomed with a dimly lit opened room. The band that they had just seen on stage were all sat with each other, drinking, and smoking and all in all being the coolest people YN had ever seen. The guitarist and drummer were sat on a sofa, leaning against each other, and passing a blunt between them. The girl on the keys was sitting with another man that was also on stage drinking, obviously having done a line of some sort by the look of the table. It was only then that she noticed Harry in the corner of the room by himself.

He was sitting by the open window, a cigarette in one hand and a bottle of beer in the other. It looked like he hadn’t been paying attention, but once the two girls had made their way into the room, he immediately walked over to them. Even in her slightly intoxicated state, YN could feel the butterflies erupting from the pit of her stomach.

“Well,” He started, the British drawl easing out of his mouth like it was honey, “If it isn’t the girl that upstaged me at my own concert. And her friend that convinced her to do it.”

“Vivienne,” The girl at YN’s side held out her hand for him to shake, “I would just like to personally thank you for making her do that.”

Harry laughed, “And how long have you two known each other.”

“Hmm,” YN wondered for a second, “About four hours.”

Harry laughed, but when he saw the look on the girl’s face he immediately stopped.

“Are you serious?”

“Deadly,” Vivienne nodded, “Picked her up on the side of the road looking like a lost puppy.”

He shook his head, “Well, there are drinks in the fridge and maybe you guys can get to know each other a bit. And the others, I promise they’re friendly, and don’t bite. Well, maybe Mitch.”

YN nodded and followed Vivienne. It was surprising how she didn’t feel even the slightest bit intimidated by the conversation and felt so confident. Vivienne opened two beers on the side of the fridge and passed one to Vivienne, and then they both started to mingle. Vivienne sat with the woman on the keys whom YN learnt was Charlotte, and the man that YN learnt was Pauli. They seemed cool, but Vivienne immediately struck up a conversation with Sarah, who was the drummer of the band. Her boyfriend Mitch, the guitarist, was still sitting behind her but he left the two girls to it.

“With lungs like that,” Sarah tilted her head to the side slightly, lifting her bottle of beer to her lips, “You must have been singing for a long time.”

“Sort of,” YN shrugged, collecting some of the condensations on the tip of her finger from the neck of her bottle. She was sweating, “I’ve sung in choirs for a long time, the one at my school and the one at church, but never anything like this before.”

“Well, you’ve got something, kid,” Sarah shrugged, “If you set your mind to it, you’ll be able to do anything.”

YN wished that it was true, but it wasn’t. When this night was over, whenever that was, she would have to go back to her perfect life with only the memory of what happened on stage. In YN’s mind, she couldn’t see any other way. It upset her, but she had done what she wanted to do. She had experienced the life that she wanted, and although she would dream of this night every day – this wasn’t the life that she was given.

“I don’t know,” YN shrugged her shoulders, shaking her head, “I wish I could, but I don’t think this life is what was intended for me, no matter how much I want it to be.”

She didn’t know whether it was the alcohol talking or the drugs, but she was unable to stop. It was almost as though once Sarah had opened the can of worms, everything that had been laying on YN’s chest wanted to voice itself to the world, no matter how much she wanted to push all of those feelings deep down.

“Look, I understand the whole chasing the dream but it not coming true,” Sarah moved away from Mitch slightly, so that she was looking directly at the younger girl, “Do you think that we all thought that we would be playing for the biggest rockstar in the world every night?”

YN shook her head, “I’m guessing not.”

“No, we didn’t,” Sarah leaned back on her boyfriend again, “But I wanted to be a drummer, and Mitch used to work at a pizza shop and would play the guitar in his breaks, dreaming of playing on stage. Everything in our life was pointing to that we would never play live music like we dreamed, everything, but then Harry found us, and he managed to drop our dream right into our laps.”

Without even thinking, YN turned to look at Harry. He had finished his beer, and his cigarette but he was still sitting on his own, staring out of the window. YN thought that he would have been with his bandmates, drinking and doing all of the drugs in the world – but he wasn’t. He was just sitting on his own, seemingly staring at the stars.

“It sounds like that man’s some sort of miracle worker,” YN laughed, the two people across from her joining in.

“He isn’t. He just has a good ear for good music.”

YN looked at the girl with a perplexed look on her face, “But he had no idea when he picked me that I could even sing. I could’ve sounded like a strangled cat for all he knew.”

The couple laughed, “But he took a risk, and it paid off. You have to use that. Now, if you excuse us, I think it’s time we went home.”

YN watched as Sarah and Mitch stood up, hand in hand and said goodbye to the band. Charlotte, whom Vivienne had been talking to also decided that it was probably time that she went home as well. She thought that maybe this was a good time to get Vivienne and go, but the way that Vivienne and Pauli moved closer to each other and were in such a deep conversation she decided to leave them.

There were other people in the room, but nobody caught YN’s eye. It was only when she turned to look back at the window where Harry was sitting that there was a slight panic in her, but when she noticed him slipping out of a side door, she knew that this was her only opportunity.

She gave Vivienne a look and the other girl gave her a thumbs-up, which made YN laugh. As she pushed the door open, YN realised that he could have been long gone by this point which stressed her out. But then again it didn’t take long for her to spot him sitting against the wall with a joint in between his fingers. It seemed out of character, that this mega-famous rockstar was smoking on his own, instead of surrounded by his band and groupies. Maybe there was more to this than YN was expecting.

Her boots crunched stones on the floor as she made her way towards him, “You sharing that?”

Harry turned to look at her, and she stopped right where she was. She leaned against the wall a few metres away from him and crossed her arms. He furrowed his eyebrows at her and shrugged, so she took it as permission to sit down next to him. She could still smell the tobacco on him, and in all honesty that was like drugs itself to YN. There was a slight chill in the air, but sitting this close to Harry and feeling his body heat against hers was all of the warmth that she needed.

“You ever done this before?” He asked, lifting the joint in her direction, “Miss. YLN.”

Busted. All of the confidence that she had, mainly due to her intoxication had gone, and she felt like she was just a little girl again, sitting and listening to her father’s speeches about what it means to be the perfect American little girl. She felt as though she had been caught, and she was slightly embarrassed for herself.

“So, you knew who I was?” She asked after a beat, not daring to turn and look up at him.

He lit the joint and brought it up to his lips, and surprising her, he passed it to her next. She did the same as what he had done but immediately coughed as it hit her lungs. She passed it back to him and saw a smile on his face.

“I didn’t,” He remarked, “It wasn’t until you were sat talking to Sarah and Mitch that I realised.”

Okay, that made her feel a little bit better. Maybe he was just a little more observant than she had expected him to be.

“Should I be afraid that you’re gonna tell my dad?” She asked, turning to look at him so she could see his face as he spoke, “Earn a bit of money from my dad buying your silence.”

He furrowed his eyebrows at the girl, and she felt tiny. She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to preserve her body heat and make herself feel a little bit better about the situation.

“I don’t need your dad’s dirty politics money,” He shrugged, taking another hit, “I make plenty on my own, thank you very much.”

He wasn’t wrong. YN wondered how much a rockstar such as Harry made. She wondered if she would be able to do that. Then she hypothetically shook her head to rid herself of those thoughts. YN’s life was already sorted out for her – go to college, meet a rich man who could sort her for the rest of her life and marry him immediately. She would then become a little housewife, popping out kids constantly just like her mother does. It wasn’t the life she wanted, but it was the life that was planned out for her.

“Nobody should want my dad’s dirty politics money,” YN shook her head, lifting her legs so she could rest her head on her knees.

Harry raised his eyebrow at that, “You don’t like your dad?”

“He has a less-than-desirable view of America and people,” YN shrugged, “And being his daughter, I’m automatically part of that.”

He passed her the blunt again, and even though she wanted to cough again she managed to keep it down. She hadn’t even spoken about this before, and the more that she opened her mouth the more that she couldn’t stop those feelings from spilling out of her.

“Forget your parents, forget their life and everything about it,” He said, his voice a little deep and coarse from the singing and smoking she guessed, “What do you want to do? What would you be happy to wake up and do every day?”

“Sing,” She shrugged, “I knew that music was always a big part of my life, and I didn’t know what that would mean until tonight. But getting up on that stage and singing with you – I couldn’t imagine doing that again.”

“Then don’t imagine it,” Harry shrugged, “Do it. I know some people that would kill to have someone like you singing for them.”

“I wish it was that easy,” YN sighed, offering him a small smile, “The only reason I managed to leave tonight was that my parents are out of town, and my guards had passed out on the sofa before the clock hit ten.”

“But you’re out, yeah?” Harry lifted his hands, motioning to the crappy little alleyway that they were both standing in, “Don’t go back.”

“They would find me. If you noticed who I was, it would only be time before I’m tracked down and sent back to their perfect little life. They’d probably send me away to a boarding school and release some sort of statement that brushed all of it under the rug.”

It was quiet after that. It was almost as though Harry didn’t have anything to say to that, and YN was thankful. There wasn’t anything that he could have said to make that better, because it was the truth. YN knew it, and he knew it.

“Enough about me though,” YN nudged him with his shoulder slightly, “You must have a story to tell. You’re obviously not from here, but you’re the biggest thing in a while.”

He laughed, “What made you say I’m not from here? Grew up in Malibu.”

He was joking, and it was a nice way to clear the air a little bit. YN was feeling a lot more relaxed than she had been when she first stepped out here, and that fuzzy feeling was back.

“No, you’re right,” He smiled, “Grew up in Cheshire, in a small village. Decided I wanted to be a musician and moved to London. Then I met Sarah and Charlotte, and our manager at the time had a few connections in L.A. Moved out here a few years ago, and here we are.”

“Here you are,” She smiled, turning so that her head rested on her shoulder looking directly at him, “But there must be more of a story than that.”

“Not really,” He shrugged, “Took us a while to get where we wanted, but we’re here now.”

He was hiding something, but YN didn’t want to pry. They were still strangers at this point, and he knew that she could be influential, just as she knew that he could be. It was strange because to YN it seemed as though they were both getting on quite well. Two people, from completely different backgrounds, but two people who shared the same dream. That burned for the same reasons. It was bliss, to YN.

“What made you pick me?”

Harry turned to look at Harry with his eyebrows furrowed, “What do you mean?”

“You could have picked anybody from that crowd to come on stage with you, but you picked me. People were clamouring and screaming more than me. Vivienne was clamouring and screaming more than me.”

“I think it was because you weren’t screaming and clamouring,” He admits, and that says a lot more than YN was expecting, “You were the one that stood out, the one that wasn’t trying to get my attention that actually got my attention.”

YN laughed, “I’m my own worst enemy.”

“It was that bad of an experience?” He asked and she shook her head.

“No,” YN shakes her head, and she could feel herself getting a little teary, “It was the best night of my life.”

“Then why are you an enemy to yourself?” He seemed genuinely curious.

“As I said,” YN shrugged, “It will be the only time I’ll ever feel it.”

It was quiet between the two of them again. YN was looking directly in front of her again, but she could feel Harry’s eyes on her. When she did turn to look at him, he was staring directly at her. She leaned her head on her shoulder, and before she knew it, he was leaning forward and moving towards her. He was so close in fact that she could feel his breath on her cheek, and her heart was beginning to beat out of her chest.

“Do you know what I think?” He spoke, this time in hushed tones.

“What?” Her voice sounded croaky, probably from the nerves. She swallowed once to get rid of it, “What do you think?”

“I think you are your own worst enemy,” He spoke, not moving away from her but not looking at her. His eyes were focused on her lips, “Because if you pushed everything aside, fucked both of your parents off, you could be exactly where I am.”

YN let out an airy laugh. Without even thinking, and pushing away everything that told her no, she pulled away from him and leaned her head back on the wall. She could feel him still staring at her, but she pushed that out of her head also.

“I understand why you said that,” She says, her fingertips messing with the edge of her blouse, “But as I said, it isn’t that easy.”

“I think it is,” He says, inhaling some more of his joint, “I just think that you’re too much of a coward to realise that.”

That it was. Those words were all it took for YN to push herself up from the ground and turn to look at Harry.

“Well, you know what,” YN spat the words directed at him, “Fuck you, Harry.”

“Fuck me, yeah?” He laughed, “I’m sure you want to sweetheart, but I don’t fuck people that get in their own ways.”

“You’re an asshole,” She spat back at him, “And it’s unfortunate because I was actually beginning to like you.”

YN turned on her heel and stormed back inside the room. She ignored Vivienne and Pauli, even though the two of them were not even looking in her direction and stormed out of that room and into the corridor again. As she made her way down the corridor, a wave of anger rose throughout her. As she passed the women’s toilet, the men’s toilet door threw open and out stumbled a man that she didn’t recognise. She stopped in her tracks to let him out, but when he turned and looked at her, she realised that he recognised who she was.

“Hey,” His words weren’t slurred, but his body language showed that he was intoxicated somehow, “I know you. You’re that girl that sang with Styles, earlier.”

“I am,” She nodded, watching as he leant against the wall beside the toilet door. As if that was going to make her more interested. It wasn’t. But she was angry, and clearly wasn’t thinking right so she accepted his advances.

Losing her virginity pressed up against the door of a bathroom stall in a club certainly wasn’t what YN envisioned, and looking back she certainly shouldn’t have done that. But at the time, in her intoxicated and angry state, all she could think about was doing something for herself for once, and showing people that she wasn’t a coward and that she could do whatever she wanted and whatever she pleased. It was a way of showing herself that she could take control of her body, her mind and all of her thoughts.

It was quick and sloppy, and she felt more pain than any pleasure, but she had done it. Today had been the day of firsts, but losing her virginity and singing for the first time on stage was the best, without fail. Even if both of them ended up being in a shitty way.

Once the man had finished, he turned to look at her, thanked her and walked out of the stall – leaving her half-naked and with not an ounce of her dignity left. YN cleared herself up and pulled her jeans back onto her body.

It was at this point she realised that she had enough. It was time for her to find Vivienne and for the two of them to leave.

As she pushed herself out of the bathroom, it didn’t take long for her to spot Vivienne walking towards her.

“Babes, I’ve been looking for you everywhere,” Vivienne immediately wrapped her arms around the girl, “What were you doing in the men’s bathroom?”

“Was it?” YN pretended to faux shock at that news. She turned to Vivienne and laughed, “I didn’t even notice.”

Vivienne let out a large laugh and linked her arm with Vivienne’s, “Come on babe, let's get you home.”

YN was happy to hear that.

It was around 4 a.m. when YN arrived home. She had said goodbye to Vivienne about an hour ago and contemplated going home whilst the sun rose before deciding that it was probably the right time.

She had taken her shoes off about half an hour ago, so she was swinging them around by the side of her as she walked. She slipped through the back gate, the same way that she had left last night. The only perk of living in the house that YN did was the fact that there were many places to hide. The back door was seemingly safe, so she opened it quietly and slipped through the door.

When she heard a quiet house, she felt as though she could have gotten away with it and be awake for her parents to get back later. The first item of business was to slip the fridge open and grab a bottle of water, hoping that would quench the thirst that she was feeling right now.

With her shoes in one hand and a bottle of water in the other, she made her way towards the stairs. She was tired and ready for bed, and she could feel all of her bones wanting to collapse the second that she started to climb them. She was exhausted, dehydrated, and ready to sleep for a century.

The stairs creaked under her feet, just as they normally did, and she didn’t think anything of it until she could hear movement coming from the living room and she was immediately frozen to the spot.

“YN!” It was her mother’s voice that she could hear, “Is that you?”

They weren’t supposed to be home until the evening. That’s why YN chose last night to be the night that she went out, because whilst she could be caught by the guards, she would have time before she felt the wrath of her parents. There were two things that YN could have done. She could run up to her room and pretend that she had been there all night, or she could escape through the door. Both of those plans were ruined when the front room door swung open, and both her mother and father stood there.

YN was terrified, and still frozen in place. Her mother had tear-stained cheeks, as though she had been crying for a while now. Her father, however, showed a very different emotion on his face. YN could tell that he was annoyed, maybe even angry. His face was red, and the way that he was staring at her felt like she was a little kid again who had just smashed his favourite Scotch glass whilst playing with dolls in his study.

“I think it’s best if you come down here, YN.”

YN was no longer frozen to her spot, and instead was trailing into the front room behind her parents. She had no idea what she was going to be in for, and that was the scariest thing. Her father had never hit her or been violent, but he truly did have a mean streak. He knew how to make her feel so tiny, and so shit about herself with just his words. It was truly remarkable how that man could make people feel, and yet he was preaching his bullshit throughout the entire state.

Her mother and father sat down on one sofa, and YN took the one across from them. She dropped her shoes and water on the floor and curled her legs up beneath her, not trusting that they wouldn’t shake in fear if they were spread in front of her.

“Where have you been?” Her mother was the one to start, “We’ve been worried sick about you. Imagine our surprise when we get a call from Keith in the middle of the night saying that you were nowhere to be found!”

“Did you ask Keith what he had been doing?” YN shouldn’t have bit, but she did anyway. She could feel the anger radiating off her father with every second that she sat in front of him.

“We’re not talking about Keith, YN,” Her father spat at her, shaking his head, “We’re talking about you. Tell us where you were.”

YN shrugged, “I was out.”

“Where?”

“Does it matter?” This was the first time that YN had not only spoken back to her parents but also withheld the truth from them on such a scale as this.

“It does matter, YN,” Her father leant forward, spitting venom with every word, “Because I want to know what bullshit you got up to last night that left you stumbling home at four in the morning, stinking of alcohol and with red bloodshot eyes.”

“I’m guessing you already know, father.”

“I do,” He shook his head, grimacing as he did so, “But I want you to say it. I want you to say how you went out, got fucked up and did unholy things with strangers whom you don’t know!”

“Fine,” YN stood up. Eighteen years of anger and torment were finally brewing at the surface, “I went out last night, made friends with a stranger, sang onstage in front of a crowd that actually wanted to hear me, drank, did drugs. Oh, and one other thing, I fucked a guy in the bathroom of a club. Is that what you wanted to hear?”

Her father looked as though he was ready to explode, and her mother just started sobbing. She felt bad for her mum, she truly did. Her mother wasn’t the problem at all, she had just been caught by her father and trapped. He was the problem. He was the person that she was trying to escape from. But escaping from him meant escaping from her.

“Sit down, YN,” Her father stood up, obviously wanting to intimidate her but it didn’t work. She couldn’t be intimidated by him at all, she was too full of rage to see anything but red, “You truly have disgraced our family, and you need to know that!”

“I’ve disgraced this family?” She laughed, she honestly couldn’t believe that, “It took me a while, but I did work out why I’ve had so many babysitters, yeah? Turns out you were sleeping with all of them, is that right, Dad? Wouldn’t want people learning about that one? You’d truly lose your seat then.”

For the first time in her entire life, her father’s hand left a loud smack on her cheek. She immediately lifted her hand to cover her face and realised this was it. This was the point that the water boiled, and she was ready to spill out.

“You’ve truly fucked up now, haven’t you Dad?” YN picked up her shoes and her bottle of water and turned to her mother, “I’m sorry but I can’t live here, not anymore. Not with him.”

With that, YN turned and ran out of the house. She ran straight out of the front door, still in just her socks, and straight through the front gate. YN didn’t know where she was running, or what she would do once she got there but she had left.

With only the clothes on her back, and her shoes in her hand she had left her parents and the hellish life that she had grown up in.

YN couldn’t believe it, but she was finally free.

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