#honestly do aby of you know what its like to have no idea when the next time if youll get to kiss someone?

[andragoras-in-vanity]

my head hurts, im bleeding still (more so than before i called ny clinic), im so stressed i want to cry cause i have no support and so much to do and all i want is my person cause everyone is in christmas mode and i cant handle this time of year alone again

[pinchedlittlefox]

Yes, yes Brendol Hux and whatever but when are we getting Grand Admiral Sloane and little Armitage? When do we get to see her build her Empire while shaping her young protégé, who ultimately loses his way upon her disappearance/demise?

It’s obvious by the end of Aftermath that Rae Sloane has begun to grow attached to Armitage. Despite their rocky beginning she did protect him from Brendol. So I would not be surprised if Sloane was responsible for his rise in the First Order. ( And I’ll explain why. But first, some context: ) What better way to create a revised version of the Empire than with a genius child who can develop technology that will pull a broken organization from that ashes? We know from the Phasma novel that Sloane is gone by 30 ABY. ( Cardinal mentions her and Armitage defensively retorts that she is not around). But Cardinal also mentions that Brendol was preparing for a meeting with Grand Admiral Sloane and the first set of First Order leaders on the day he gives Cardinal his new title as Captain. That signifies that Sloane was still around and in command of the First Order after it became a more established organization. So she did not die while they were still forming the First Order in the unknown regions. That also means that she was around while Armitage was at the Academy and rising through the ranks as an officer. Which clarifies a lot of his contradicting beliefs. 

When I say contradicting beliefs I mean the disparity between Armitage’s  desire to rise and thus buy into Snoke’s ideals of what the First Order is ( after Snoke becomes Supreme leader and supersedes the apparent first group of leaders including Grand Admiral Sloane ) versus Sloane’s original beliefs of what she thought her new revised Empire should comprise of. This is honestly what makes Armitage Hux such an interesting character to me. 

Snoke’s outlook obviously entails the destruction of worlds and ruling by force. The First Order is a tool for his dark agenda. It helps him keep his stronghold over the galaxy and gives him the firepower to secure his reign and further his own goals. Armitage Hux’s pride in the completion of Starkiller and his many other projects, along with his attempts to keep a strong grasp on the power he has attained, displays him buying into these beliefs. I think that part is rather evident and widely accepted. But then there is the other facet of Armitage. The part that still clings to ideals that are similar to Sloane’s beliefs of the version of the Empire she wanted to create.

You can see that here in Hux’s internal monologue, featured in The Last Jedi novelization, by Jason Fry

But Hux knew the future would need a different kind of leader—one able to direct the galaxy’s industries and nurture their innovations, while commanding its citizens’ respect. Snoke wasn’t that leader. And neither was Ren.

Versus Sloane’s inner monologue during Aftermath: Lift Debt by Chuck Wendig:

Slavery has never been part of the perfect Empire that lives inside her head. It may have been necessary for a time, but now the galaxy should be made to see the Empire’s glory—and you can’t teach them of its splendor through slavery. Slavery is not strength; it is weakness. Citizens should serve the Empire because it is right to do so. Why would any choose otherwise?

The idea that citizens should server the Empire/First Order because it’s the right thing to do is common between them both. For context, Sloane came from a gang infested world that the Empire helped clean up. So her outlook on Imperial occupation is positive & her idea of a perfect Empire was one that promoted order and peace with necessary force. She grew disillusioned with Palpatine’s version of the Empire which used uncessary force and had cult-like attributes. ( Disclaimer: This is not a commentary stating that Sloane’s ideas are right. Sloane is still very much a villain. Just with a moral code. Despite how convoluted her moral code is. The First Order is still clearly still a bad organization. )

Now consider the fact that Armitage Hux tried to talk Snoke out of firing Starkiller a second time because he was afraid of eliminating occupied planets that were not involved in the war...

Snoke replied with cold satisfaction. “We do not need it. Prepare the weapon. Destroy their system.” Collected and composed as he was, Hux was not immune to surprise. “The system? Supreme Leader, according to the most recent galographics, at least two and possibly three habitable worlds circle Ileenium. Following the destruction of the Hosnian worlds, would it not be worthwhile simply to destroy their base and claim the remainder for the Order?

-The Force Awakens novelization, by Jason Fry,

The attack on Hosnian Prime was a political power play. Armitage considers the action a necessary act of war but he was taken aback when Snoke ordered him to fire on potentially uninvolved system in lieu of just taking out the Resistance base. Like Sloane, his moral code is corrupted, but still present.

And then we have this scene of Hux refuting Ren from The Force Awakens novelization...

“Again, this map. Which for all I know may or may not even exist.”

Ren’s voice darkened to a degree that caused Phasma to take a step backward. “I do not think I care for your implication, General. You would be wise to keep such thoughts to yourself. You would be wise not to think them.”

Hux held his ground. “My duty is to fight for the First Order with every iota of information, every scrap of material, and every functioning trooper at my command. That was in the oath I took. That is the oath I have sworn to uphold.”

Yes, Hux is serving Snoke’s First Order at this point in the timeline but take a moment to consider how risky this declaration is. Kylo may have a personal interest in finding and destroying Luke but we are also aware that Snoke tasked Kylo with this mission. So Hux’s skepticism almost implies that his loyalty to the First Order is beyond his loyalty to Snoke.

Anyway, than you for enduring this long post. My ultimate point was that Hux is a really intriguing character because he is a culmination of Brendol’s cruelty and Sloane’s idealism. He is selfish and power hungry, but he also has a genuine interest in building and organization that promotes order through, centralized control, innovation and ( his version of ) respect. It’s fascinating to see his own moral and internal struggle play out. And I really hope we see more of this development play out in his youth through further storylines. 

[slightlyunconventional]

To add to the ‘H/awks is a silent stifler until he’s not’ idea, D/abi forcibly ending meeting to get him to JUST SNEEZE NORMAL ALREADY.

YES YES YES HELLO??????? why is everybody here so insanely galaxy brain this is incredible. always a sucker for someone trying to keep quiet in a scenario like that …. especially when they dont even have to !!!

h/awks needing to sneeze in a meeting .. knowing full well if he just let it out it would more than likely be one and done but hes kinda a control freak about it and also doesnt want to draw attention to himself (especially since hes kind of out of place in the league anyway) so he stifles. pros: its completely silent!! and nobody notices!! cons: the irritant cant get out if you dont let it get out.

so hes just sat in this meeting periodically crushing increasingly itchy sneezes into complete oblivion . like Complete. it starts to get uncomfortable at a point but he’d rather that than make a noise. its also just habit by now for him

he probably thinks hes getting away with it since theres no noise too, his lips part with a silent intake of breath and then he ducks forward a fraction with an equally silent pinched-off sneeze. lol no. d/abi was definitely noticing the whole time , like watching h/awks have this endless stifled fit in his peripheral partly wondering what the fuck is wrong with that bird (lovingly . concerned. secretly he cares) and partly being like how the hell is he STILL being silent. that has to HURT

and he watches from the sidelines for a little bit longer and internally is just like 😧😧😧 this man is ABUSING his nose. stifling so tightly to the point where the part he pinched is white for a moment after he lets go and then fades back to an angrily irritated pinkish red. mm

at some point d/abi decides that is definitely Enough. both for his own sanity and also h/awks’ nose . honestly he’d probably just stand up grab hawks by the arm and walk straight out of the room lmao who needs to stay in meetings anyway right. as soon as theyre out the door h/awks’ breaths immediately become actually audible, almost as if his body was waiting for him to stop stifling so he could get some actual relief and the second he got out of that room it took the chance

anyway as h/awks is muffling sneezes into his sleeve (still pretty fucking tightly but at least hes not stifling anymore) d/abi’s basically telling him off for stifling. hes all “you’ll hurt yourself, burst a fucking blood vessel or some shit- if you haven’t already you prick. imagine how fast you’d be done sneezing if you actually did it properly. then i wouldnt have to do this”

and h/awks being like. “well nobody said you had to” and dabi just shrugs and says “anything to get out of those boring ass meetings. plus i’d rather Not watch you sneeze yourself to an aneurysm”

and then they skip happily into the sunset. idk bro that got away from me a bit. anyway yes anon this. ur hc this ask i am ascending i LOVE IT!!! ur mind!!! thank you for enabling me to ramble about it in a post

[jackienautism]

Now I’m really curious about your thoughts on the other counselors. I don’t really have any strong opinions on them much tbh idk why. Maybe it’s the whole “horny teenager” trope or something

(finally getting around to this. sorry for taking so long dfkldg)

yeaaaah fair enough dfgjndg thats exactly why i get pissed off playing the game tbh. it just becomes so convoluted with this romantic whatever bullshit that it gets SUPER TIRING...... but that's ok though bc silas kaylee and caleb need someone to love them unconditionally right?

anywho! i appreciate you wanting to see my other unfiltered opinions on the characters kdfgdfjg bc gosh do i have a lot. especcially for TQ bitches. as i just ssaid,

i AM going to get unfiltered and potentially brutal so if anyone is your ultimate bestie i recommend not reading (abi and laura are safe though of course<3) (mainly because nothing about either of them necessarily irritated me LOL and im easy to irritate)

im going to reference my thoughts on the characters from a note i wrote after playing through like ? chapter 4 for the first time. but honestly not miuch has changed. and just to preface this a good portion of my negative opinions come from the campfire scene in chapter 2 LOL like. when i first played the game i began disliking like more than half the characters here alone

//

dylan: talked about him here (its not positive)

//

nick: i just think hes a prick who doesn't deserve abi 🤷 of course he was given the short end of the stick in terms of screentime, but its kind of funny bc kaitlyn has a similar amount of Actual walk around time and she's there like. the entire game LMAO so yeah that pisses me off. nick has 3 moments where you play as him, and kaitlyn has 5/6, depending on how you separate her section in chapter 10. they both have the same amount of Get To Explore And Walk Around time though, which is a whopping total of one thanks guys. anywho. even before he began acting like a creep i didnt like him lol... and no surprise but it all stems from chapter 2...

long story short, i dont doubt that nick actually cares for abi and likes her but i think in the grand scheme of things it mostly has to do w/ him wanting tits and ass... sort of similar to mike's whole deal... and i believe this based on the bullshit he pulls w/ emma. yeah he says that "tHiS mIgHt NoT bE a GoOd IdEa" and yet he still plays along despite dylan saying that 2 people can kiss AS LONG AS everyone consents. he could've gotten out of the situation. and yet he fucking didnt. i dont care if he didnt realize the consequences of his actions, if he TRULY liked abi he wouldnt have done this shit in the first place. "ive had my moments, im not proud of some of the stuff ive done" DOG YOU JUST HAD A MOMENT AND YOURE NOT EVEN FUCKING APOLOGIZING TO THE PERSON YOU HURT!!!!!! idc if it technically wasnt totally his fault. he still was involved in humiliating and upsetting abi. all he blames it on is playing alonog with emma's plan to make jacob jealous and aside from that just being such a shitty anf fucked up excuse in general, its not even ???? true?????????? GOD. IM SORRY. THE WHOLE SITUATION MAKES ME SO UPSET

//

jacob: as said in my previous TQ / UD rankings... i really flip flop w/ him alot. however im def leaning towards neutral to dislike NGL. i HAAATED his whole thing w/ emma like incredibly so. however. i did feell real bad for him during chapter 1, despite already knowing that he was the one to bust the truck up and keep everyone there another night. i felt bad despite already having a reason TO dislike him. kaitlyn was being mean for no reason. nick and dylan were being mean for no reason. it's just... it's almost like he was being used as the group's laughing stock. but as time went on i just continually became less and less willing to sympathize . hell, he's just a INFINITELY less sympathetic josh... of course seeing him crying and upset in ch 3 was sad, but at this point i don't really know what he expected im sorry. he really dragged all these other people into his bullshit with emma. and it's more than clear how emma feels about their relationship, of course emma wasn't great either with him, but jacob isn't an angel ... EITHER in this situation. of COURSE he couldn’t have known that the night would go the way it does, but it doesn’t negate the fact that fucking up the truck was a shitty move regardless LMAO as said previously, i HAAATe how fucking possessive he is of her. like when nick tells jacob that he could see what emma wantss? and jacob just laughs it off? it's so fucking stupid dog. character wise though, he of course has a lot going for him and i can see why people find appeal in him. especially seeing hwo many stereotypes theyre subverting, in terms of jacob showing emotions and shit. but for me personally, it's a no

//

ryan: my man🤝 even after all this time.... i find him very respectable and i very much appreciate him. similar to my deal w/ abi, even his more "asshole-ish" moments / dialogue choices (aside from a few off the top of my head LOL) are like. justified... and in character... like. him being so pissed off at and wary of laura? like????? laura is my beloved but this random girl just popped out of nowhere, killed one of his closest friends, and now wants to kill what he has of a father figure? like yeah id be acting like ryan too if i were put into his situation LMAO yeah you can be annoyed w/ his actions and behavior, but in context? the way he's acting is understandable and justified. it doesnt DESERVE criticism, because there's nothing to criticize! he's acting as any normal person would! of COURSE it's annoying how he doesn't BELIEVE laura, that's a whole other can of worms, but overall he's allowed to be a pissed off little bitch. and him potentially going against the whole party idea? that line of dialogue is just more in character for him i will not accept any other answer. it makes no sense that he'd suddenly go against chris' word. and it PISSES ME OOOOFF seeing how the game still like ? has ryan show up to the party despite being adamant against it.

ANYWAY.... ppl don't appreciate his autistic swag like i do. "he has no character" "he's boring" TO YOU. y'all rly see a character mainly speak in a monotone voice and rarely smile / show expression and go. yeah he's boring . do you not see the like . connotations of that. like be for real. he’s like. one of the only few genuinely good ppl here lmao and seeing how chris says that ryan is one of his fave counselors and how he TRUSTS him enough to hold all this responsibility + have all these in depth talks w him it’s just. you see what kind of person ryan is just from that. and how so far ryan is the only character (while you’re in control) who’s able to interject whatever bullshit is being said at the moment it just. i’m sorry. he’s just a good guy. i respect how he’s willing to go against the bulk of the group during the whole party or lodge thing. i also respect that he’s willing to put a fucking end to dylan’s invasive fucked up truth question. i KNOW that it all depends on the Player to choose these specific options BUT. they just fit ryan’s character more so🤷 what can i say. fuck everyone else

//

max: my bf (real)

laura: my gf (real)

abi: me (irl)

//

emma: in my original note i said that i was leaning torwards neutral to dislike lmao....... oh have the turns havbe tabled. anywho. i think shes such a stupid dumbass bitch. she's so funny for no goddamn reason. i am shoving her down a flight of stairs. i love her character sooo much. i hate how she acted with jacob (despite most of it being her people pleaser side Showing but, that's a whole different conversation i am willing to have). she's suuuuch a beloved but gooooooood god i draw the line at being such a shitty friend to abi. that's my biggest complaint when it comes to emma and her actions. i understand that she has a moment where she's like "you're my best friend, i need you" and i fucking eat that shit up but almost everything else that happens and happens prior..... just goddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

to get started. most of this is gonna be nitpicky and personal shit, so if you think it's small and shouldn't be addressed, then you're probably right LOL im just ultra sensitive to this sort of stuff due to past personal experiences. ANYWAY!!!!!! you know the little teasy comment emma makes towards abi after you avoid hitting the squirrel? how she's like, "this is her first time asking a guy out like EVER"? it makes me wanna beat her up fr kldfggnfg bc it's like... it's not a thing to joke about... i see sooo much of myself in abi meaning i see her as autistic and that's just. you know how much being autistic hinders those sort of abilities? i obviously can't say for sure but, seeing how abi later talks about people wantingher to interact w/ others better? hence why she went to summer camp in the first place? i'd say that probably isn't too outrageous to think...

and sort of continuing off that same topic, when abi is having trouble choosing someone for truth or dare, how emma is just like. "ding ding ding, my turn!" LIKE. AS HER FRIEND. WHO PROBABLY KNOWS ABOUT HOW MUCH ABI STRUGGLES SOCIALLY. DON'T YOU THINK SHE'D BE LIKE? "OHH ABI JUST PICKK ME" INSTEAD OF HUMILIATING HER? LIKE. BC THERES SOOO MANY DIFF WAYS OF MOVING ON AND HELPING ABI OUT....... GOING ABOUT IT THW WAY EMMA DID ISN'T THE WAY TO GO......... ESPECIALLY KNNOWING HOW SOCIALLY ANXIOUS ABI IS.... anyway. while we're on the campfire scene, it's so fucked why she chooses to kiss nick lmao like ok yeah it may work in the end (potentially) but its still ?????????????? girl you know how much abi likes nick (SUPPOSEDLY) why go about this shit in the most destructive way possible? and what makes me even MORe mad is that. they dont even ever address this scene ever again???? despite it being such a huge and humiliating and probably traumatizing moment for abi??????????? YES they're able to have a more in depth andf heart to heart conversation about their relationship. but its not fucking enough! bc that fucking stupid ass dare and its outcome was the catalyst for the rest of the night's events lmao! imagine beign brushed aside and seen as a social fucking experiment for your entire life. which is something im SURE abi has felt and experienced. and emma, her best friend, LITERALLY CONTRIBUTES TO THAT!!!!!! ITS SO FUCKED AND IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY. i could probably go on about this topic but ill leabe it for a separate post i guess anyway if i were abi id be fucking pissed off and upset

her character means so very much to be like her whole people pleaser and "curate myself to each individual person ive ever met to keep them fromn leaving me" resonates so so much with me and i love it so much. ive talked about this b4 in a previous post but i can only imagine how lonely she feels, acting the way she acts. no one will ever truly know who she is. shes in a constant state of performance. every single person she's ever met has a different perception of her in their head. and, in one way or another, it's all wrong!!!! i love you emma mountebank i love you abigail blyg

//

kaitlyn: i wont even lie i instantly fell in love w her after hearing the INSANE shit she says fnsjfjsnf esp felt it after the “jacob go upstairs. jacob get bag. kaitlyn moves on with her goddamn life” fell in love fr. and her whole stupid monologue after jacob was like "yeah i mean, what did i expect would happen?" SHES LITERALLY INSANE. but. like. i was not and still Am not happy w how she treated abi during the campfire scene though. due to 1. her telling abi to basically hurry the fuck up despite seeing how much she was GENUINELY struggling, and also potentially knowing about her social struggles prior. bc they're friends. right? and 2. just coming up wiht the dare in general lol it was such a fucked up thing to do and as ive said w/ emma, the fact theyre unable to actually jhave a convo abt it later is suuuuper dumb and shitty imo. esp seeing just how upset abi got, and the most fucked up thing is, neither kaitlyn NOR emma seem to show any remorse for it!!!!! that's just so fucked up

anywho. hate how both of their asian girls (emily in until dawn) are characterized as bossy and very. my way or the highway. it’s actually real fucked up in that light. fuck you supermassive. y’all are lucky that these 2 characters are their respective games’ baddest bitches . i SUPPOSE it isn’t THAT as big of a deal in this game bc. there are like. objectively more unlikable characters (in the guys AND girls) so kaitlyn doesn’t stand out as much (as emily did. she was practically written to be hated. bc NO ONE ELSE was as strong personality wise as her. i suppose jess comes close but 1. i think ppl shit on her for other stupid shit anyway SO and 2. she effs off for more than half the game) but it still doesn’t make it ok lmao. bc it’s a trend that is very :/ mmmmmmm. even if it’s not that much of a cliche stereotype for asian women, seeing them write both of their asian girls ALMOST THE EXACT SAME WAY is a bit sussy goddamn baka. went off a bit there lmao. anyway. i’m a weak pussy bitch and after she softened after abi returned freaked out i 😭 i love you. more positive (and NON GUY related) interactions between the girlies please. i literally love her relationship w/ abi so much it's so interesting to me.

and just... to talk about her character real quick, i mmentioned in my tier list that her character frustrates me. and you wanna know why? ive talked abt this b4 but her character is basically a watered down emily davis. and i say this bc. they both overall are the same archetype. except. in kaitlyn's case. there's really no reason for me to like ???? feel bad for her? djjfggkj LIKE. THERE'S LITTLE TO NO SUBSTANCE TO HER CHARACTER.... AND THERE CERTAINLY ISNT MUCH TO FEEL SYMPATHETIC FOR..... i say this bc. almost all the other TQ characters have this moment of ): aw, here's why i should care about and feel bad for you. BUT KAITLYN????? NEVER REALLY OUTRIGHT HAS THAT MOMENT,..... it's almsot like they threw her in there and threw in her characteristics last second.... nothing's really established w/ her. you just. you just keeo finding new stuff about her as the game goes on. like. oh. shes a good shot. oh. she cares about abi. and shit like that. im probably explaining this so terribly rn but hopefully some sense can be made from this scramble. it's just.... thye toook away the interesting aspect(s) of emily'scharacter (her anxiety, her fear of death, her complex to be protected while being fully capable of protecting herslef in times of danger etc etc) and thus gave us kaitlyn. to me she just. she isnt that interesting character wise! there isnt much there for me to grow attached to! people only like her bc shes associated w/ dylan! like shes one of those characters where you sort of HAVE to mold and shape into something that's familiar and Good

re reading htis it really sounds like i don't like her fdjkdg BUT I DO I PROMISE.... i gotta stick w/ my asian girls

//

abi but for real: 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 do i even need to say anything? its like supermassive made a character purposely JessCore or something like that. i like. haven’t gone In Depth abt why i got so fucked up over what everyone else did to her during the camp fire scene but. know that it hit a little toooooo fucking close to home. like. I Could See Me Sitting There In Abi’s Spot and it HUUUUUUURT!!!!!!!!!!!! like ): seeing her avert her gaze and how she was fumbling over her words i ))): LIKE. AUGHH. esp after being asked THAT question? since not sleeping w/ anyone by this age is seen as “abnormal”? i could feel that so bad man ): no one deserves to be singled out like that. esp not a VERY much autistic girl who is pretty clear to be on the “outside” of the group. bc she’s not “normal” or not “like everyone else here” and it’s just. fuck you all fr choke. enough of that. i just. she’s so fucking cute too? like girl i love you so MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! her lil like. expressive noises and shit are so awesome and make me happy fnsjfjsf you only see them like twice BUT. you don’t really see that from the other characters. so basically: stims. autism. yeah. they rly made abi a little TOO realistic nd relatable fnsjfnnsf but ohhhh man do i love her oh so much. after the camp fire scene i was just. she’s my friend now fuck all of you

//

laura but for real: I MISSED HER AND MAX SOOOOO BAD WHILE PLAYING THROUGH CHAPTERS 1 - 6 SKLDDFJDF i was literally so upset and sad seeing that they werent at camp after the prologue. du eto like literallty all of the characters getting on my nerves I WANTED THEM TO COME HOME SOOOO BAD.... AFTER THE CAMP FIRE SCENE EVERYTHING WENT DOWNHILL AND I MIIISSSEED THEM SOO MUCH i needed them back for real. other than that though, i dont have much to say about laura. i mean of course she's my BELOVED i mean look at my user but. yeah! i think about her often and project some anger shit onto her<3 specifically towards travis for specific and personal reasons<3 even if it's not like character stuff or w/e i think about, i often just rotate herin my mind. i love her so much. plus she's literally a combo of emily and sam aka my 2 fave UD characters how could i not love her?

//

max but for real: i honestly dont have much to say abt him? and i suppose he and laura arent /technically/ a part of the other counselors since they never, yk, showed up. but w/e fdfjgndg i think he's neat. i honestly thought he was like one of the only Good Guys of the game when first playing through,. and that still holds true! i still see ryan as a great guy too though. max just seems like such a good partner and guy in general and i love him. don't necessarily think about him much but as i said before, he's my bf (real)

[frostfloweragainlol-alias-juno]

This is part 2

Dex belongs to @leech-twinz

Warning: slight Emetophobia and sickness (flu), cussing

Ship present: Cain x oc (Dex), Abel x Larry

5.30 p.m.

Abel’s phone rang

“Yes?”

“I got your text, is Cain ok?!”

“He is not dead so-“

“I’m serious brother-!”

“Ok, jeeze “ 076 sighed “ He’s not doing great, but last time I checked his fever went down a little” he paused “ Where are you anyway?”

“Me and Alto are substituting for you in the mission, don’t you remember? You texted me asking me to “

“Really ?” Abel checked his phone “huh, you’re right “

“You really are worried huh ?”

“Fuck you”

“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, you know? I’m worried too “

“Whatever “

“Jeeze, Ok Mr Grumpy” she said jokingly

“Stop calling me that”

“Hahaaha!”

“Ugh, why must you be so anno-“

Abel suddenly paused

“Aby?”

“Sorry, I got to go, I’ll call you back” 076 quickly said before hanging up

“Wtf?” Frost wondered staring at the phone’s pitch black screen

~

“Well at least you made it to the bathroom ?” tried to joke Abel

“not... funny...” Cain managed to say

“ I’m just saying that puking here is better than throwing up on the floor “ he replied patting his back

“Oh now you’re an optimist?!” Cain wrapped his arms around his abdomen.

He seemed even more exhausted now.

“You’re pale as fuck, you should really eat something “

“ I would probably throw that up as well “

“At least drink something?!”

Cain was about to reply when Abel phone rang again

“Yeah?”

“Hey, it's Larry. So it’s tonight at 6 right?”

-Oh fuck-

“Uh-“

“Don’t tell me you forgot about our date “

“No no no, it's not that!” he tried to explain “It’s just... something came up-“

Cain looked at the ground, feeling guilty

“Oh? What happened?”

“I’ll send you a text explaining everything. I promise I didn’t forgot”

“Wait you’re serious then”

Both of them stayed silent

“Ok, I’ll call back later”

“Thank you”

“No problem. I love you !!“

“I love you too” Abel whispered

106 smiled, then hung up

“Back at what i was saying-“ pause

“Cain? Is something wrong?”

“I’m sorry, about the date”

“Huh? What do you..?” “WAIT- do you really think that was your fault ?”

073 Nodded in response

“How on earth could that be your fault?! I quite literally forgot about it in the first place !”

“You still could have gone! But you can’t because you are taking care of me-“

“You know I can reschedule a date right ?!” He hugged his brother

Cain hugged Abel back “i’m sorry...for everything” he tear up, both from guilt and tiredness

“Uh- bro is all this for the date? Or is still about that thing-”

073 broke down crying

“Aaand it’s about that...“

“For the 100th time, I already forgave you for that 2 YEARS ago”

“Stop fucking crying or you’ll make me cry too!”

.

.

.

Surely enough, minutes later both of them were sobbing uncontrollably , with the only interruption being a few “I’m sorry “ and “shut the fuck up”

~

8.00 p.m

Frost knocked at the door

“Hey du-“ she stopped immediately as she saw Abel face

“Have you been crying? Are you ok?!! What happened?!?” she shut the door behind her

“I’m fine” he wiped his eyes

“Seriously, why were you crying?!”

“Cause Cain started crying “ he explained “ and I honestly have no idea of why I started crying too but eh-“ he paused “Man, was today weird “

Frost looked at him confused

“How was the mission btw?” 076 tried to break the silence

“No one died so I guess good “ she stopped “Well, actually 2 class Ds died”

“What scp escaped again?”

“It was ... what was it?! Uhh- I don’t remember the number??”

“[redacted]?“ tried to guess Abel

“Exactly that one ! I always forget its number omg “

“ It’s strange how they literally could contain me almost without any breaches but it’s the fourth time this week that that thing escapes. And It’s only fucking Thursday “

Frost shrugged her shoulders in response

“Cain?” She asked

“He’s sleeping. His fever went down to 100,4 °F. Before it was like 104 °F“

“Well that’s a good sign” she said relieved

Abel nodded

“ Dex?*

“He said he was coming. I tried to tell him it wasn’t a good idea because he could get sick too, but he insisted “

“I don’t think Cain is even contagious, I’m not sick “

“Abel, you basically never get sick remember?”

Abel stared at her , and then replied with an “Oh. Right “

Frost crossed her arms

“Go take a nap”

“Uh?”

“Go to sleep, you’re clearly tired”

“But-”

“Go take a fucking nap dumbass “

“What are you? My mother ?”

“No, but I care about you and therefore I’d advise you to go and rest cause you look exhausted. And probably your brother would think too that you should rest “

“I’m not leaving this place until Cain is better“

“Fine, you can stay” 9108 sighed “But take a nap”

Abel crouched down

“NOT on the floor. The couch exists for a reason “

076 got up staring at her annoyed

“Oh! And take this” she handed him a pillow and a blanket “I know cold it’s not that much of a deal for you but still”

“Thanks” he mumbled

“Wait- did you keep those in your pockets or some shit?! Cause I’m sure you weren’t holding these five minutes ago “

“I have a backpack “ she snorted

“Ah”

Frost giggled

“DON’T LAUGH”

“I’m not” she tried to say without bursting into laughter

“Fuck you”

“I’m really trying not to I swear “ she snorted

“Yeah yeah” he rolled his eyes

~

9.00 p.m

Frost checked on both of her brothers , both deeply asleep. Then sighed relieved and headed to the small kitchen of the chamber. -whoa, this site’s chambers are so cool! Is much better here - she thought while walking . She sat down on a chair, ignoring the flashbacks of site 19. She was still lost in her thoughts when there was a knock on the door. She quietly unlocked

“Hey Dex”

“Hi. Sorry I’m late but an mtf got in the way”

“I swear those bitches” Frost rolled her eyes

“Why are you whispering?”

“Cain and Abel are sleeping”

“ Is Abel on the couch?”

“Yep” 9108 replied shutting very slowly the door

“Is Cain alright?” He then asked. His voice sounded worried

“He’s getting better don’t worry “ Frost reply

“Oh, thank god” he whispered

9108 smiled

“Anyway, since you’re here, would you like something to drink? Tea or coffee?”

“Either it’s ok”

“Tea then?”

Dex nodded then proceeded to seat down to one of the chairs next to the table

“Man, how many kinds of tea does my brother have?! There are like 30 boxes here!”

“I didn’t know Cain liked it so much, I always see him drink coffee ?”

“He does. It’s the only natural thing he can consume as the herbs inside of the tea bags are already dried out”

“Really?”

“Yep” “uhh, would you like vanilla tea?”

Dex nodded again

“Cool”

In a few minutes two hot tea cups were ready.

“Thank you” he smiled

“No prob “

They stayed silent for a few minutes

“Hey Frost?”

“Hm?”

“Remember when you told me you also were on site 19 around the time I also was contained there ?”

“Mh?”

“You never actually told me what happened back there”

Frost placed the cup on the table “Yeaahh- i don’t really… want to talk about it- you know-? it’s one of those experiences that are just meant to be forgotten “

Dex stared at her in silence

“And chambers are orribile“ she smirked

“Seriously the site reaaally should hire an interior decorator. I mean gray walls?” She then joked

“Oh yes I remember those haha-gray? I would of opted for another color ” Dex added

Both quietly giggled

~

10.30 p.m

Frost and Dex were still talking

“Btw did you see my twin by any chance today?

“Nope. Didn’t he have a date with Abel tho?”

“How do you know that?”

“He told me. Well he was supposed to have one but Cain got sick and Abel probably forgot “

“Weird, I never saw him forget about anything”

“Yes, except when he’s worried about something or tired. He forgets everything “

“Oh? Really?”

“Mhm” Frost paused “Don’t tell him I told you this tho”

“My lips are sealed “ he reassured

“Sealed? How will you talk then? '' a sleepy voice jokingly replied

Frost and Dex simultaneously turned their heads and stared at the man in the white pajamas behind them. Cain smiled. Dex stood up and hugged him, so quickly that they both lost their balance and fell on the floor.

“Happy to see you too” Cain smiled again, hugging his husband back. Dex held him tight , relieved to see he was ok

“I’m happy to see you’re feeling better brother ” Frost smiled

She was about to say something else when her phone rang

“Excuse me a sec”

She brought the phone to her ear “Hello?” Pause “Oh. Wait again?! —- him too?! ” She stopped again for a few seconds then glanced at Abel, who was still asleep “No he’s busy at the moment. Yes I understand. Listen, I'll come alone ok?” Frost sighed, annoyed “Again: no, he can’t be there right now , but I can. How many times do I have to repeat myself?” Silence once again until scp 9108 finally replied with “Good “ and “I’ll be there asap” and then hung up.

“Who was that ?” asked Cain, still hugging Mo

“Ugh, the mtf squad omega 8. Scp[redacted] has once again escaped and someone well decided to look at a photograph of Lanky apparently.“

“But you and Clef just stopped it?!”

“Yes but there was an accident during the transport and [redacted] escaped again”

Cain glanced at his sister “ who were you talking about? Abel?”

“Huh?”

“When you glanced at him and said ‘no he’s busy’ ?”

“Oh ? Oh yeah!” Frost crossed her arms “They wanted me and Aby’s help” another sigh “But he is resting and I don’t wanna wake him, so I just told the guy he was busy”

“If you want I can-“

“Absolutely fucking not, you’re still feverish“

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Besides I’ve already fought that oversized lizard twice and survived , this will certainly be easier “

“You almost died!!”

“And I survived”

“At least bring someone with you during at least one of the missions? For safety? Please?”

Frost sighed “Fine. I’ll ask Zack to help me with [redacted] while I try to find Lanky. Happy now?”

“Very “

“Good” She paused “Welp- i better go. See y’all later” she then proceeded to open the door and then closing it with a “byeeeee!”

~

6.00 a.m

Cain glanced at his brother, still sleeping on the couch, and Dex, who had fallen asleep on the little armchair next to the table. He smiled, then grabbed a blanket and proceeded to gently place it around his husband’s shoulders, careful not to wake him. He then kissed him on the forehead. Dex smiled in his sleep.

“Mh- shit... ughh- dammit ”

“Good morning. Slept well?” Cain turned around and smiled

“Ehhh- somewhat- and bet I overslept” Abel rubbed his eyes

“It’s 6.00 am, it’s still pretty early actually” reassured him 073

“Huh” he sat up and yawned “Usually I’m up for 5 am tho”

“I know. But at least you got a full-night sleep and not the usual 5-4 hours per night”

“How did you even know my sleep schedule?”

“I’m your older brother. I know everything “

“Omg, You’re creepy “

“No, I just know you” Cain raised an eyebrow

“Ok. Whatever “ he rolled his eyes

He looked around, then again at his brother

“Frost is in mission if that’s what you wanted to ask”

“Damn you could at least let me ask “

073 shrugged “Hey, about yesterday-“

“?”

“Thank you. For taking care of me“

Abel started at his brother, then nodded

“But next time you go to work sick, I’ll straight up be kicking your ass“ he smirked

[yourstrullyme]

boop! you have to answer the following questions and get into the ask of 3 your mutuals and make them answer them as well

1. Are you named after anyone?

2. When was the last time you cried

3. Do you have kids

4. What's the first thing you notice about people?

5. What's your eye color?

6. Sad or happy endings?

7. Any special talents?

8. Where were you born?

9. What are your hobbies?

10. Do you have any pets?

11. What sport do you play/ have played?

12. How tall are you?

13. Favourite subject in school?

14. Dream job?

omg this is fun

1. yes, my mom had a grandma that they called Lina, thinking it was a nickname for one out of two possible names so my mom gave me one of them (the prettier of the two imo)... turns out her grandma was just Lina lol

2. oof id say tuesday? ive been terribly sick and stressed out of my mind and had a test i did very badly on and it was just too much

3. nope lol

4. usually... id say the clothes, style, vibes. im bad w faces and eyecontact

5. green w lil brown freckles

6. both? i love bittersweet endings and honestly if the story is good and the ending makes sense i dont care if its happy or sad

7. uuuh im really good at picking up stuff?? like learning something for the first time is pretty easy, perfecting it is tough but starting is easy. i can also move my ears lol

8. Reñaca, Viña del Mar. Chile.

9. they change a lot but id say rock climbing, music in general, and reading and writing would be the most consistent ones

10. YES her name is carlotta and she was born to a dog a friend picked up from the street so i adopted her. shes small but her body is long and short-legged and her hair is colored like a black and white border collie, but her hair is really tough lol and shes got a beard. shes just a mix of a lot of things. she turns 3 in december

11. sooo many lets see... formally i did volleyball and hockey in school, plus athletism where i mostly did long and high jumps amongst other things. football in college (i was a goalkeeper) and now rock climbing, and im also considering joining a jiu jitsu gym with a friend to try and exersize more regularly (and beat the crap out of each other). then on the side ive always dabbled in running, did a bit of skating, rollerskating, some gym stuff, water skiing, fishing, and i tried kayaking for a month and i want to get back into it

12. 1.74 mts

13. so many lol although i enjoyed myself the most in english, spanish and history back in middle and high school, now that im in college i really love economy and anything to do with biology. basically everything lol

14. oh god... no idea. many jobs. id love to have a job that requires me to travel and meet many people, and a lab job or a field job but in research, and a public figure kind of job? the kind were u have to decide stuff and make speeches and shit. id love to write too, to be a writer on a tv show or write books, but also direct or act (i shouldve been a theatre major honestly if i could have aby job this one would probably be it lol) id love to also have a farmer or a shepards job... the long hours in the great outdoors and physical labor just call to me lol

i just feel like my dream job is a dynamic job, nothing too stagnant, but then again that can just be my age talking yknow? maybe when im older i'll just want a good paying job that allows me to be w my loved ones so who knows. ideally though, it would require me to be outside some part of the time lol

this was fun thanks!! also to that anon that asked me the same thing the answers are here but thanks for asking!

[contentcompendiumrw]

Paranormal Activity 1-3 Thoughts

So as the crisp breeze of Autumn has started whistling I'm feeling fittingly yearning for feeling absolute fear. Less fittingly I felt oddly wanting to rewatch the Paranormal Activity films. Despite being, silly and goofy films, they hold a good deal of nostalgia. 1-3 anyway.

Paranormal Activity

For what it's worth it's kind of a classic. It's simple, but effective. Just two people dealing with a ghostie, one is a bit more familiar with the phenomenon and the other is hyperfixated to the point of making it worse. It makes good use of building tension. I don't know what it is but the sound effect used for the night segments has its clutches permenantly engraved into the part of my brain that produces fear. While the protag Micah is, a dick, and sarcastic, and annoying, and makes everything worse in a film such as this it's nice to have the comedy leverage whilst also just, making use of the active protag archetype, making shit worse for themself. Without the context of the...'Lore'...You could believe Micah caused his own demise and that's oddly tragic. Were this the only film of this franchise, it'd be certifiably a classic. I do think what the series became, post this trilogy really fucks that up but as is it's tense, it doesn't rely on jumpscares and I remember it being marketed as legitimate found footage which, for little 7 year pld me (probably 8, I didn't see it in cinema) made it all the more spooky. Also just as a final note I have the weirdest mandella effect of, the final jumpscare being, an actual jumpscare. Loud, Katie's face turns demonic and shit...They really just ended it with her bumping her forehead into the camera and, honestly it's hilarious.

7/10

Paranormal Activity 2

The second film was, interesting for a remember firmly that, growing up it was my favourite. I now have obtained consciousness and am no longer a child so I do, not hold that same opinion now. This one was just boring. For one, as someone who enjoyed having the active protagonist and inherent interest in the phenomenon to go along with and analuse it, the lack of that, with most footage just being from security cams in the house really made the action feel, inconsequential and distant. It attempted to make Abi more of who we followed in the second half but, by the time they did that the climax was essentially already rushed into. The only emotional attatchment I felt for any character was, the dog. Which is cheating because...It's a dog of course I'm gonna love a good boy. It was nice seeing Micah again for a scene but overall, there's just not much of note for this one, I suppose the main point of interest was the ending which, was more so impactful because it succeeded the first film.

5/10

Paranormal Activity 3

I do find it funny that the trilogy really just goes back in time, every film, which, this film's of course the end of but, as two was my favourite growing up, but now is my least favourite, 3 was my least favourite growing up but now, legitimately is probably the best one to me. It is perhaps the silliest and goofiest of the trilogy I'll admite but given how, the novelty of the original idea had somewhat worn off, leaning into it just, as a story was a decent shot. For one, Dennis is unironically the goat. As far as protagonists go him and Julie have what feels like, actual chemistry and Dennis is, a sarcastic dick, but not like Micah, he doesn't just fuck around and find out, he simply tries to document, and because of the 'lore' finds out...AKA Getting snapped like a Slim Jim. I will admit this one seemed the least scary of any three, but I didn't mind it. This is when the ghost...Now known as...Toby...Tobey? Either way, is the most active and at the very least, we get the motive somewhat through the kids. As an observer its pretty tragic to see two innocent kids get groomed by a ghost and their nightly schenanigans led o some decently creepy moments based off, small child behaviour alone. I wouldn't have minded a few more sequences akin to the first film. It felt like most of the scares were, loud bangs, in some cases literal earthquakes, and it really only made sense to me for, the big kitchen drop I'll call it, to be a reason for that. While it was middling in scares and tension of the first, as a film, it felt the most well rounded and I know this is a weird thing to like but, it's nice to see a rendition of the 80's in media that isn't just hyper-romanticised, and since they got into cult territory, it was the perfect era for it to be.

8/10

I will be getting round to the rest of these films as, I'm kinda in deep now so look forward to, my small meaningless dissection of those films in a few days.

[the-bau-quinjet]

You can’t be gone, no

Chapter 13 of In Breakable Heaven! I would like to apologize for how long this took! I was really buys with work this week, but I’ve got the next chapter almost done already so it shouldn’t take too long. 

Summary: A bit of aftermath of the show, plus the show from Spencer’s perspective.

Word Count: ~1900

 Spencer’s POV

“Hey Spence. I miss you, but you already know that. I’m doing a sort of mini show at 7 tonight. It would mean the world to me if you came… Look, I get it. You don’t want to be with me anymore, but I don’t want you to disappear from my life completely. Not when I need you now more than ever… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m not trying to guilt you into coming, I just really want you to be there. For the moral support. The rest of the team is coming, so you won’t be alone. That’s it I guess. Bye.”

 He listened to the voicemail on repeat as he made his way to the venue where you were playing your mini show. He had no idea what to expect, but the idea of not supporting you hurt too much to stay home.

 After parking and walking inside, he managed to find the rest of the team. Turning to Morgan, he began to ask “hey, do you-” He was cut off by the sound of his phone ringing. Turning to look at it, he recognized the number as his Mom’s doctors. “Oh, it’s my mom’s doctors. I have to take this.” He retreated back outside the venue, answering the call on the way.

 It was really a simple call, only took a few minutes, but you had already started when he walked back in. Not wanting to disrupt anything, he took a seat near the back of the venue, shooting Morgan a text that he probably wouldn’t need to go to Vegas.

 “…how I was feeling about a month ago. Before everything happened. It was the happiest I have ever been. I had a great group of friends, a job I loved, a hobby that helped me bring some of that joy to you guys, and… a perfect boyfriend. Most of that is still true and for that I am incredibly grateful. Without further ado, here we go!”

 His heart hurt to know that he was the part that wasn’t true anymore. He immediately recognized the song as it began to play. He memorized all of Taylor Swift’s songs in the months he’s spent with you in your apartment listening to the range of playlists. It’s honestly a good thing he got that call because he started tearing up almost instantly realizing how happy you were when the two of you were together.

 I want to drive away with you. I want your complications too. I want your dreary Mondays, wrap your arms around me Pr-aby boy.

 His breath caught in his throat when he heard the slip up. You used to change the lyrics to all of Taylor’s songs to be about him. “Wrap your arms around me pretty boy” is exactly what you used to sing to him. The range of emotion he was feeling surprised him. He expected this to be painful, but not this much.

  “Thank you! Thank you! This next song is kind of a complete about face. 180 degrees if you will. Actually” you pause to think, “it’s more like 540 degrees.” He watches as you take in the confused glances from the audience, searching the crowd for someone. “I feel like I went through every emotion possible, returned to where I started, and then was forcefully turned in the opposite direction.”

  “Clearly, you can tell why I was so happy a month ago. Paper Rings is kind of obvious in that sense. But, 3 weeks, 4 days, 6 hours, and 27 minutes ago every possible ounce of that happiness disappeared.” He froze knowing that exact amount of time meant your happiness disappeared not when you were abducted and tortured, but after he left your apartment that night.

 “ For those of you who don’t know, I recently went through a fairly traumatic event. My good friends at the FBI saved my life. But after I left the hospital with a new found relief, I went home and my boyfriend, well I guess ex-boyfriend, came over.” He could see the tears forming in your eyes even from his place in the back of the crowd, and it only hurt him more.

“He didn’t tell me why, but he broke up with me that night. He said he didn’t want to do it while I was in the hospital, so he waited. I’ve had a lot of time to think it over, and I might know now why things changed. But even if I’m wrong, he left. And now, he won’t talk to me. Now I know what you’re thinking. This guy sounds like a complete asshat.” He couldn’t help thinking that was a massive understatement.

 “And maybe you’re kind of right. But he’s been through more than I could even explain, and I know that it is slowly killing him to know that I went through barely a tenth of what has happened to him. Especially because I know he blames himself. So, I have this next song. To try and explain how him leaving is worse than anything that happened in that building. ”

 Again, he immediately recognized the next song that began playing. Haunted, especially the acoustic version, was one of the few songs you saved for when you were so sad nothing else helped. He knew how much pain you must be in to even listen to this song, let alone sing it in front of the crowd.

 By the time you reached the bridge, he could already feel the tears streaming down his face.

 I know. I know. I just know, you’re not gone. You can’t be gone, no

 The way your voice sounded like it completely broke when you sang “no” made his heart wrench. He had his head in his hands. He felt completely useless. This kind of pain was the exact thing he was trying to prevent. He didn’t think you would still feel so strongly about him 3 and a half weeks later.

 “I know what you’re thinking. What the hell happened to you? Well, a lot. But that song, the first song, and the last song are all to the same person. The one person in the world who understands me more than anyone else. You should all know, however, the ‘he’ I was referring to when I sung ‘he will try to take away my pain’ is none other than my therapist. Thanks for the all the help Doc, I’m trying to do what you said. The last song I have for you is what I wish I had the chance to say that night 3 weeks, 4 days 6 hours, and 33 minutes ago. It’s something I need you to know.”

 He doesn’t know how, but he knows you are talking to him when you finish the last sentence. He lifts his head to look at you again as he once again recognizes the song. His favorite line in this particular song was always:

 You keep, his shirt. He keeps, his word.

 He knows exactly which promise you are referring to this time. And he knows that he didn’t keep it.

 You can see it with the lights out.

 Before the two of you even started dating, he promised you he would always be there.  No matter the time of day.

 You are in love, true love.

 No matter where he was in the country. No matter what he was doing, he would drop it to help you if you needed him.

 You're in love.

 And he failed. He left when you needed him most. And he had no idea how to fix it.

  “Thank you all so much for coming! We can only hope for and work towards a better future than the present we find ourselves in. Goodnight.”

 You’re right. He is in love. And apparently, so are you. All he knows in this moment is that he has to fix things. He has no idea how, but he has to at least try.

--

Y/N POV

It felt like hours, but it had only been about 15 minutes when you heard a knock on your door. You somehow managed to stop crying and wipe your face before answering the door. You were met with the concerned expressions of almost all of your friends. They rushed in to take turns hugging you with varying degrees of sadness and anger in their voices.

Morgan probably noticed you looking around them all when he said “Reid wanted to come, but something came up with his Mom.” After hearing that, you immediately shifted from your spot on the floor. All you felt now was concern for him. “Is she okay? What happened?” The genuine sincerity in your voice was no surprise to anyone. You have always put everyone else’s feelings above your own.

“He didn’t say what happened, but he said he probably wasn’t flying out so it will be fine.” Morgan responded. The room shifted into silence, not quite awkward, but not comforting either. JJ chose to break it “Why didn’t you tell us what happened? Or even that you were seeing anyone?”

You shifted your gaze to her face from its previous resting place on the floor, you sighed. “I don’t know really. At first, it was because it was like a game between us. We actually had a bet going about which one of you guys would figure it out first. I was actually planning to tell you all at Rossi’s last family dinner, but then with everything that happened it just…” You stopped to force yourself not to cry again. It was killing you that they didn’t know who you were talking about, although they were probably figuring it out as you continued to talk.

“Y/N” you had never heard your name spoken so softly by Morgan before, “what can we do to help? Do you want me to kill him? The team can probably hide his body.” He tried to joke. You managed a weak smile in response.

“No. The truth is I’d rather feel like this in a world with him than be happy in a world without him. I… I was supposed to meet him for dinner that night, but he had to cancel. That’s part of why he blames himself. Or at least I think so. I genuinely haven’t talked to him about it.” Admitting that truth was a lot easier than you expected. You rose from the ground to change the song, knowing exactly which song might help you. Before you could get to your phone though, there was a knock on the door. You signaled for Rossi to answer it since he was standing the closest.

You turned to see Spencer Reid walk into your dressing room. “Hi Y/N” he said in a sad greeting.

“Morgan said you had to talk to your Mom’s doctors, is she okay?” you responded, your concern for your friend’s mom returning.

“Oh, uh yeah she’s fine. They just wanted to switch her medicine again. Thanks for asking.” You nodded in response, not knowing what else to say.

“I think, um, I think I’m just gonna go home now.” You said, staring at the floor to avoid everyone’s sympathetic looks. “I just want to go to bed and hope for the best, ya know?” You began pushing your way through people, your bag on your shoulder.

Spencer grabbed your wrist as you passed him, giving you a pleading look. The tears began to fall again as you looked at him, gently pulling your arm away. You couldn’t do this here. Not in front of everyone. Not when you hadn’t even told them it was Spencer who left you near catatonic staring at your apartment door. You turned and ran to your car before they could stop you.

--

 tag list:

@mac99martin​ @goldeng1rl8​ @eevee0722​ @l0ve-0f-my-life​ @haylaansmi​ @dinonuggets15 @laurakirsten0502​ @green-intervention​ @burnin-passion​ @takeyourleap-of-faith @secretpickleprofessordean​ @awkwardnesshabitat​ @loveheathens​ @fan-girl-97​ @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat​ @akuri-shinsou​ @prongsyy​ @panhoeofmanyfandoms​ @sherlockmarvelharrypotter​ @lizziebritish​

[twdmusicboxmystery]

What do you think ABIBEL stands for? It has to be an acronym for something right? Or could it simply stand for, "A Bible"? I'm not feeling solid on that one but thought I'd throw it out there. I was trying to work out different phrases that could possibly include the word 'Beth' in it, too. Haven't come up with anything meaningful, but trying so hard to think of something! Also, the double arrow is interesting, almost like the snake eating it's tail. "Everything gets a return." Or maybe even, "As above, so below". The numbers stop at 13. Do you think maybe that could point to episode 13? Sorry its so long and all over the place! This has me so excited!!! 😄

We honestly don't know. Lots of TD-ers researched this back in the day (S4/S5). I've even seen non-TDers who noticed it at the prison ask what it means. No one can say for certain. People have suggested that it's another language, a scrambled word, an acronym. It could be any of those things, but again, we just don't know for sure and won't unless tptb tell us.

I'll give you links to some old posts about it so you can see some other ideas and thinks I posted about WAY back when. But the idea of it being a scrambled version of "a bible" is as good a theory as any.

One of the prevailing TD theories back in the day was to cut the word in half. ABI could stand for Acquired Brain Injury, a real medical term. Bel is another name for an Egyptian sun god, and it does appear with a sun. But even that is only conjecture.

All we know for sure about this word is where we've seen in the story. It first appeared, as far as we know, on Morgan's wall in 3x12, Clear. We next saw it in chalk at the prison under picture of a sun.

The word itself didn't appear in 5x09, but the sun did, so the ABIBEL was implied. The symbolism correlated between those three episodes, and Gimple was the sole writer on each.

Since then, the only other place I know of that we've seen ABIBEL was on a chalk board at Oceanside in 7x06, and now here in 11x09. Gimple wasn't the sole writer for either of those episodes, but remember that he's now the Chief Content Officer for the entire universe. He probably doesn't do much individual episode writing anymore. He has to leave that to others. But his title kind of says it all. He's the #1 guy in charge of the content of each and every episode on each and every show in the TWD universe. That includes symbolism, background stuff, what we see in camera shots, dialogue, everything.

This is why I always go back to Gimple being a story genius, even though I know lots of people disagree with me on that. Most of the REALLY symbolism heavy episodes are his. Most of the really heavy Bethyl-feels episodes were written by AK. And now they are the two in charge in S11, where we're getting unprecedented amounts of Emily/Beth promotion over social media, and storylines we've been waiting for for a long time are finally coming together.

That's all. Links below if you want to read more on ABIBEL. I wish I had a more specific answer for you. I hope some day Gimple tells us what it means. I'm honestly very curious. Xoxo! ❄️💖

Repost of ABIBEL Theory

ABIBEL and S10

Non-TDers on a Spoil the Dead Forum Asking About It

[evakuality]

Mia, episode five

1.  One thing Druck is super good at is these aesthetic shots.  This whole opening bit reminds me of the scene with Amira when she’s praying in her room.  Lots of beautiful shots of the room, curtains and stuff, which are just super pretty with a few hints of colour.  I dunno, this is just an aesthetic I like and I appreciate that Druck caters to me.  Mia is so cute, too!  Like both the way she looks and also how kind she is.  She still doesn’t really like Alex a lot (though you could see in that montage from the previous night that she’s warming up to him) but she still feels like she should leave things looking nice.  These little post-it notes are sort of cute too, and you can see that she thinks they’re sweet.  I don’t like this Bjorn though.

2.  Interesting that we get a clip specifically one week later.  I have no idea how that must have felt while this was live, and I’m really glad that I didn’t have to live through these long gaps in any of the things I did watch in real time.  This one was reasonably low key though, so maybe the wait wasn’t as agonising.  If you didn’t know who Bjorn is (I’m assuming the Niko character) then nothing in the last couple of clips would have felt all that alarming.  But Mia’s so flirty here - that one conversation at his house must have really charmed her.  Pity we didn’t really get to hear a lot of it because he still hasn’t charmed me!!  And actually that ‘show a montage of how things are going while a song and/or other conversation plays overtop’ is a huge thing Druck does, I think.  I feel like in some cases (Matteo and David after their first pool kiss moment, for example, or Hanna and Jonas breaking up) work quite well.  But here, I think we needed to hear more of Alex to actually believe that Mia would be this flirty with him.  For me, this is too big a turnaround from her very cold manner with him at the piano and an actual proper look at that conversation might have helped.  But also, I am super biased because William and so maybe a more reasonable person might like it okay.  This bit with Linn is weird.  Genuinely creepy, and I’m not sure why they’re setting her up to feel like this.  Maybe some sort of hint of the creepiness to come with Bjorn (I’m assuming it’s coming, anyway).

3.  I don’t get this bit with all the pictures at the school.  I assume it will become obvious later but I’m not sure what exactly they were trying to do with this.  You’d think they run the risk of having the whole Abi chaker clan thing shut down - if this happened in my school there’d be so much trouble.  A groups of kids once put post-its all over one teacher’s room and they got in SO much trouble for it, and that wasn’t obscene like this is.  This thing here seems so targeted at the Abi thing, using their plan specifically, that it feels like someone outside the group wants them not to be allowed to run their theme.  Or someone in the group who wants a different motto maybe.  I don’t know, but it feels very mean and very specifically directed at this group of people.

4.  Hmmm, I’m with Leonie on this one.  I’d be giving Carlos the super evil stare too.  It may be ‘funny’ to some of these people, but given that there are younger kids at this school (I assume, right?  They still have classes running for the smaller ones at the end of Matteo’s season, allowing their prank to go ahead) this is sure to go down really badly with the school itself.  I’m rolling my eyes at the ones who are outraged that the school is considering reporting it - what did they expect?  Also, surely they can figure out who was doing it - people were literally throwing handfuls of the pictures over the stairs.  Surely they could work out who it is.  It’s pretty clear that Alex still thinks this is funny and I’m losing patience with him.  Every time it seems like maybe he’s getting less gross he goes and acts like this again.  Bleh.  I’m not often rooting for Leonie and feeling for her, but wow today I really am.  This is shitty and she has a right to be angry.

5.  Ew, Alex, why are you stalking Mia again?  She’s made it pretty clear she’s not happy with you.  Turning up out of the blue like a creep isn’t a good way to go about winning her over again.  His ‘we were drunk, what can you do?’ is so... stupid???  They’ve lost money from this, the school is really angry, they could easily have some pretty bad consequences and he’s all ‘meh, it was a drunken prank’?  I know money isn’t an issue for him, but there are issues here beyond the money.  I’m also kind of annoyed that everyone keeps suggesting she’s upset because she’s jealous.  I’ll be really annoyed if the show carries on this way - this isn’t just a silly little prank, and people have every right to be angry and annoyed.  Diminishing it to jealousy isn’t cool.  Is Leonie also jealous?  The people who are angry and upset they’re being blamed and their money has been taken?

6.  I do love scenes where the whole girl squad is together.  They make me happy and I miss seeing them together so much.  But OMG, Alex is blackmailing Mia again????  I mean I guess it worked the first time so why wouldn’t he?  But this is seriously shitty behaviour.  Honestly, in clip one I was mildly starting to warm to him with the post-its and all, but he’s managed to speed run right back into ‘asshole’ category.  This was the problem in the og as well - William was such an asshole, that in order to make him likeable, we had to see a much more genuinely villainous character.  Alex is still super dislikeable and so we need someone ‘worse’ to make him look palatable, which I assume is coming.  We’re halfway through - we should like him by now.  I dunno.  Maybe some people do?  But he still has done nothing to make me think he’s nice or someone who Mia might be attracted to.

7.  Oh a long Friday clip?  Almost half the episode?  I guess it’s going to be a rough one for Mia then.  More reflections again - her whole face in the mirror now, but it’s surrounded by graffiti.  I’m always fascinated by the way mirrors and reflections work, and it’s fun to see Mia slightly obscured in her mirrors even now.  It’s not as disjointed as it was at the start but it’s not a fully clear reflection either.  I may not like the way Noora/Mia’s story goes but I do like some of these things which show the progress.

8.  I feel kind of sorry for Jonas, because that break up wasn’t his choice.  But seriously, he seems to be blaming this on Hanna a bit and like ????? He chose to make her feel small and unworthy through her whole season.  She’s allowed to try to figure herself out outside of him and his wants and needs.  Eh, I know he’s hurting and all, but that’s actually his issue and he shouldn’t be pushing it on her.

9.  This scene with Mia and Alex bothers me.  He still seems to have no idea why she might find his actions (selfish and self-serving and filled with blackmail) offputting.  ‘I fixed it, so we should totally be together now’ is such an immature and childish take on this.  These types of guys need to grow up and learn that they can’t just buy and/or coerce their way into whatever they want.  I like the way they decide to have Kiki walk past just as Mia has to choose whether to say she doesn’t want Alex or not.  It adds a poignancy to it and Mia obviously chooses to stick by her friends.  I do wish it felt more conflicting, like if Alex genuinely had changed or had shown he has depth or something it would be a bigger ‘wow she’s rejecting him for her friend’ but instead he’s still such an unpleasant character that I don’t care.

10.  I’m not sure why Mia does the brushing off of the makeup - I feel like it made more sense when Noora did it (I mean I watched it once a very long time ago so who knows, but my memory is that it was her way of trying to reject being ‘pretty’ and having guys liking her because it was messing her up).  With Mia, I don’t understand.  Someone help me out?

11.  I still don’t get what Mia sees in Alex.  Again, I know I have a really big bias against him because of William and I know it was always going to be tough for him to be someone I care about.  But even so, this feels like a huge whiplash when she says of course she likes him.  I’d get it if we’d seen any of his development, but every time he took a mini step forward he shoved himself right back into dislikeable territory.  Once again, I mourn the actual conversation between Mia and Alex.  This all feels far too fast, and the fact that this is suggesting his blackmail is all good is very worrying.  All the post-it notes in the world can’t make me think he’s nice enough to want to kiss.

Overall, I didn’t really like this one.  I feel like the pacing is still off; I don’t believe the speed at which Mia has fallen for him and honestly it hasn’t been very long since Kiki was with Alex and had her heart broken.  The fact that Mia even saw her and told him she doesn’t like him only to turn around immediately and change her mind is strange to me.  Mia has always come across as a caring person who tries to do the right thing and help out her friends.  That she has apparently no qualms at this point is difficult for me.  They’re acting the hell out of this, but I can’t buy it.  Unfortunately.  Sadly, because this is based on a very flawed original, I don’t think it’s going to make me enjoy these two.  There are things that I’m interested in seeing as we go forward but most of those have zero to do with Alex.

[whyiask]

HAPPY NEW YEAR

There are so many people I’ve met on this site, so many friends I’ve made. I joined tumblr only a few months ago, but my life has already drastically improved. I smile more and laugh more and I feel happier all the time, knowing that you all are just a click away. I’ve often heard people refer to tumblr as a hellsite, but I don’t fully agree with that. True, some things on here are crazy, but more than that, I’ve found people like me. I’ve found people who understand me, who think like me and feel like I do. Ya know, before I joined tumblr, I had never met another bisexual person(crazy, right?). Y’all have made life more enjoyable and happier and brighter, and for that, I’ll never be able to thank you enough.

I have soooo many people I have to thank, so I’ll try to keep the list of people as short as possible: all my closest friends and all the people who have been amazing and I have loved seeing since I joined tumblr earlier this year <33

@one-neat-nerd you were the first blog to ever follow me, and I don’t remember if you were the first blog I followed, but you definitely were in the first 10. You were a wonderful introduction to tumblr, and I love everything you post/reblog. We’ve never really talked, but I still want you to know that I appreciate you.

@warblerjeff you’ve changed your url more than 3 times since I first followed you, and it always takes me a second to recognize you aha! But when I do, I’m immediately have a rush of happy memories- all your Glee posts and all of the Glee content I get from you. We’ve never really talked, but seeing you on my dash is always so amazing.

@jesussavedevenme aha hi! We’ve never really talked, but you were one of the first few blogs I followed when I first joined tumblr, and I know I tagged you in a lot of stuff at first (because i didn’t have any other friends lmao), so sorry about that! 😅 You’re really cool and I hope you have an amazing 2021.

@strawberry-seraph we haven’t talked in a while, sorry about that! Talking with you is always super fun, you’re a fun person and I hope your having a great day! You were one of the first TLC blogs I followed and you were definitely the first actual friend I had on tumblr. Thanks for being so nice to me <33

@cerenoya Ceren... where to begin. We haven’t talked a whole lot, but you are such an amazing friend and super kind when we do! You were my first tumblr idol for so long, because I aspired to be like you/run a blog as cool as yours!! Have a great 2021, you deserve it.

@cindersnightmare I felt very distant from you when I first followed you. You were just so COOL and your artwork was so GOOD, I didn’t know how to approach or even begin to express my love for your work. When you followed me back, I tell you, I was s h o o k. We’ve never talked, but I consider you a friend, is that okay? You’re amazing, keep being amazing <33

@books-and-starss oh gosh- I don’t even know where to begin with you! I love you so much, first of all!! So, so much. I love talking with you, you’re really sweet and ahhhh your writing is SO GOOD!!!! You are a great beta reader and so eager to help me- it just warms my heart that you would offer up your time to help me. Everything you reblog is so positive and encouraging and awesome, it’s so nice to see that kind of stuff on my dash. All the aesthetic pictures you reblog are super cool and pleasing to look at. I absolutely ADORE seeing you on my dash every day. <33333

@dylxn-lee aha hello there!! I first met you because you were one of Abi’s friends, but now I’m in your fanclub and ilysm. You’re really cool and nice and deserve to have a wonderful year <333

@theaberrantone ahaha for so long I pronounced your name wrong in my head- I just want you to know... I see you. I see you every day, liking every single one of my posts. I see you in my notifs many times a day and I just- wow. It means so much to me, I am honestly so touched that someone as cool as you takes the time to scroll through my mess of a blog and like the things I slap into it. You’re amazing and someday I aspire to be as cool as you <333333

@mochiowo-20 hi there :333 ilysm, and we haven’t talked for a few weeks, and I haven’t gone through your blog in a while, but I STILL LOVE YOU SO MUCH. You are amazing and ily. Your so sweet and cool and ahhhh you deserve to have the most wonderful 2021 ever. (i love your blog aesthetic btw) <333

@teawithhoneyharper I know you’re taking a break from tumblr for a while, but if you do see this, then I want you to know that I care about you so much. I love you Darcy, and you are amazing. I hope your mental health is getting better and I hope life has been better to you <33 ilysm, take care of yourself, and have a wonderful new year <333

@fablehavenfandom hi there friend!! Your posts are amazing!! I love your writing so much!!! and all your headcanons are beautiful and I 100% think of them as canon now. I hope you’re having a great day, and I hope you have a great year <33

@fairiesandstarlight omG your posts are all so cool! You’ve got a beautiful blog aesthetic and I love everything you post!! I hope you’re having a wonderful new year love <333 wishing you the best

@maya-livingstone hi there!! you’re a very, very new mutual, but I hope we’ll be able to get to know each other and become friends over the course of this new year!! I also just got the Renegades series, and I’ve noticed you like that, so hopefully we’ll be able to talk about that soon!!

@pluckycluckyducky hi plucky!! It’s Joy from the nevermoor server. we haven’t interacted on here very much, but you’re really cool and you should know it. have a wonderful 2021 <33

@fablehavenandfandomsfanatic hi there!! you had to break for a while, but you’re back now and I love all of the things you post! Have a great year <3

@fablehavenfangirl you’re really cool! Everything you post/reblog is great and I enjoy just scrolling through your blog when I’m bored. You’re amazing, keep being amazing <3

@renegadenebulahufflepuff heyyyy! how are you doing? you’re amazing, we haven’t talked much but you’re really cool and I am wishing you only the best for 2021 <333

@bookishfangirl14 hey there!! I love seeing you in my notifs!! we don’t have very many overlapping fandoms at the moment, but you’re still really cool and I love looking at your blog (even if i don’t understand most of the posts). aha, i hope you have a wonderful new year <33

@introvertedtater-tot hii! we don’t talk much, despite having a LOT of overlapping fandoms, and I don’t know why. Let’s fix that this year, shall we? I hope I can get to know you more, you’re amazing and sweet and i hope we can build up a solid friendship in the coming months <33

@devils-on-a-stereo oh my GOD. Okay, honestly? I am still s h o o k that you actually follow me, I mean, c’mon. Your art is literally the coolest thing ever, and I am honored to know you. You deserve way more attention as an artist than you have, and honest to god you are the coolest most  i c o n i c  blog I know. Stay awesome ;)

@its-liiinh-cinder-official heyyy there!! You are literally a top-notch comedian, I aDORE all of your ‘linh cinder’s random posts’. They are hilarious and your stories are hilarious, and you seem like such an amazing and chaotic person. I wish i knew you in real life, you would be so fun to hang out with. i love seeing you on my dash every day, and you’ve got such a v i b e going on. Have a beautiful, wondrous, and magical 2021 darling <333333

@just-another-freaking-dreamer it’s so awesome to see you in my notifs all the time. You’re really cool and you deserve cool things. Have a wonderful new year and I hope we can become better friends and interact more <3

@ragingbisexualcore ahhaahah you are the single most chaotic person I know. If you lived in a book, you would FOR SURE be that one character who is dead set on overthrowing the government and cackling madly as you take over the world. You are amazing and I hope you take your chaotic self and go wild in 2021.

@queenofsassgard hey there!! I hope you know that occasionally I just go scrolling through your archives and liking everything- anyways, you’re amazing and I hope you have a wonderful new year!

@elysian-starbucks-frappe heyo! what’s up? I hope you’re doing great, you deserve to do great. You’re super cool and amazing and ahhhhh you just deserve to have a wonderful 2021. ily and have a great year <33

@as-the-stars-foretold Caelum. You. Are. Fantabulous. You are my mother, you adopted me into this weird, chaotic friend group, and I will be eternally grateful. You love the stars and I love listening to you ramble about them in the server. You’re so passionate and strong and I love that about you. Life wouldn’t be the same without you. You might love stars, but you yourself ARE a star. You are a star, you shine brilliantly, and you are too good for this galaxy. We don’t deserve you. I love you so much, and you deserve every single goddamb good thing in this universe. You’re always there, ever present, and I love you so. much. Please stay your fantabulous self and I wishing on every star I see that you will have the best 2021 ever <333333

@carolinelikesdinner Carol. God, I have so much to say to you. First of all, thank you. Thank you so much for being you. You first introduced me into the big wide world of the Fablehaven fandom, and ilysm. You’re so cool, too cool for me, and I treasure every single conversation I have with you. You’re so funny and an amazing artist. All of your art is SO DAMB SPECTACULAR. You are gorgeous, your art is gorgeous, and your writing is gorgeous too. Take care of yourself love, stay safe, and have the best 2021 you possibly can <3333333333333

@operation-crown-jewels Caraaaaaaaaa ilysmmmm <3333333333333 I love talking with you and I love you so. freaking. much. I can’t even- I can’t even describe how much i love you. You are so special and sweet and supportive and I just can’t- you have NO IDEA how much that means to me, how much all your little comments mean to me. You are amazing, and special, and ahhhhh. You are SO special. So unique. And I’ll never find another friend like you <33333333333

@addies-invisible-life hey emma :3 You are actually the coolest person I know.You are so capable and smart and beautiful. You are kind and supportive and you are open to everyone who talks to you. You love with all your heart, and I love that about you. In everything you do, I can see the love behind it, the work and effort and love that you put into it. Every conversation I have with you lifts me up and energizes me(which is really rare because most conversations tire me). I still, after all this time, still can’t believe that a person as amazing as you even chooses to be friends with me. I love you so much and I will never stop loving you. You deserve the world, but I can’t give you that, so just take my reassurances that I will ALWAYS, NO MATTER WHAT, be here for you. ily and have a wonderful 2021 <3333333333333333333333333333333333333

@arushahisatroll my god. Ru, I love you so much. You are my internet girlfriend and I care about you so much. You are incredible, honestly. Your art is immaculate and you’re always so cheerful and fill me up with energy just THINKING about you. you always eager to commit arson, which is a very good trait, and I love plotting crimes with you. Every time I see your icon, my face lights up and I internally scream, bc “oh my god someone as perfect as ru exists in this world- i didn’t know that was possible.” You are the best, you are the absolute best, my bestie, and ily. Have a spectacular and immeasurably awesome 2021 <333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333

@starry-tea-party Abina. Abina you are my rock. You are my light, my star, my sunshine, my galaxy. I love you so much, I can’t even begin to describe it. I don’t know if I can do justice to just how much you’ve helped me. Words... words have never been my strong suit. I love writing because I can weave stories together, piece together words I like to form sentences, and use those sentences to form narratives. Writing has always been easier for me than talking.... because in writing, I don’t have to worry what others will think, or how others will perceive me. I select the best words, and I present those words- the words I meticulously chose and nit-picked- to the audience. Life is a stage, and I have never been great at improv. I often find it hard to tell people things, to convey my meaning in the best possible way and to know exactly what words I need in any given situation. Talking is hard for me. But with you... with you, I never have to monitor what I’m saying. I never feel the need to reread and reread my messages before sending to make sure everything is in perfect order. It’s... it’s easy to talk to you. It’s easy to speak and I don’t worry when I’m with you. You make me feel so at ease, and I love you so much. I don’t have to worry about saying the wrong thing, because I know that you’ll always support me and be by my side with a kind word and a heart of gold. Because that’s who you are. You are a creator, a dreamer, a lover, a visionary. You’re a friend. You are the hand that pulls people out of the water. The light that shines the pathway. You are the rock- the mountain we stand upon and look out over the beautiful sea. We look down at the seas below us and say, “how have we climbed so high already?” The reason is because you stand so tall, so bright and so magical, that we climb, we climb and we look out at the world below us. Not only are you tall, strong, powerful, but you lift people up right alongside you. There is nothing like the high of seeing the world stretch out beneath your feet, swinging you legs through the open air but knowing you’ll never fall. You represent that high in my mind. You represent and you remind me of the exhilaration of feeling untouchable- uplifted by love and kindness, able to reach heights you’ve never been to before. There is so much that can come when someone extends their hand to you. So much more can be achieved when there are two, holding each other up. You have held me up for so long. Every since we met, you have brought a smile to my face at the thought of you. Every time I think of you, my heart swells and I can’t breathe. Every comment you make or put on something I post has me screaming internally ans smiling uncontrollably. Whenever I see your icon I know my day is about to get one million times better. So thank you, Abi. For being my rock.

[atmilliways]

On the 6th day of Dethmas this writer gives to thee…

Dec 18 - Crossover with your favorite holiday movie

An AU in which Dethklok is perhaps a little less of a ubiquitous presence in the music industry, but still big enough to have Dethklok Inc. and Dethklok Australia. Seth still runs the latter with his wife Amber and their son.

When Abigail takes a vacation to the Land Down Under, she ends up dating the most amazing woman she’s ever met and staying longer than expected. Amber invites her to come back to the states with her to her husband’s parents’ house for Christmas, so they can spend the holidays together. The only catch? It turns out that Seth hasn’t told his parents about the open marriage like Amber thought he had, so Abigail has to play the “friend” around Amber’s in-laws.

Chapter 1 of ?

~

Right now, my favorite movie is Happiest Season (2020) and the main character in that is named Abby, so this happened. Instead of the girlfriend needing to come out to her conservative parents, Seth needs to come out to his parents about being in an open marriage and tell them that Amber has a girlfriend.

I highly recommend this movie (if you do not have any squicks about The Fear that comes before coming out, but to be fair the movie handles it very well)! Directed by Clea DuVall, contains Kristen Stewart and Daniel Levy. 

~

Happiest Seasonklok

It had been a whirlwind year for Abigail, starting with a New Year’s party she’d attended on a whim and, at the stroke of midnight, kissing the prettiest girl at the party and exchanged Instagram usernames to stay in touch. Within hours her feed had been flooded with selfies of the two of them, as well as a DM with a phone number and the message, Call me. xoxo Amber ;) From then on, they’d been practically inseparable. 

Right away, Amber had been very upfront about having a husband and a kid. Abigail had hesitated over that one, but the kid wasn’t too bad and the husband. . . . Well, meeting him pretty much took care of that. Seth was the kind of guy who thought very highly of himself despite having little reason to do so; he absolutely adored Amber, and somehow managed to be completely unaware that she was in charge. As soon as he started gunning for a threesome Amber told him to cut it out, and he did. Never brought it up again, like the idea had just been highlighted and deleted. It was hard to be bothered about a guy like that. 

Amber had taken her everywhere. What started as a one month vacation in Australia turned into three. Abigail’s new partner had Connections, and before she knew what was happening she had a work visa, a short term lease apartment, and producing jobs lined up left and right. 

Everything had been wonderful, and while sunbathing in the Australian December rays and talking idly about the difference in seasons and the complete lack of snow, Amber had looked over with a grin, taken her hand, and asked her to come with them back to the States with her and her family to Seth’s parents for Christmas. And Abigail had said yes. 

She regretted that now. Because halfway through the flight to Wisconsin on a generously appointed private jet, Seth had turned to Amber and said, “Hey, babe? You remember how I visited my parents for my mom’s birthday back in June and told them about our whole, y’know, open marriage deal?”

Amber turned slowly from playing with the baby and said, “Yeah?”

“Yeah, well, see, I kiiiiiinda didn’t tell them.” 

Immediately Amber looked over at Abigail and mouthed, Crap, I’m sorry. 

“‘Cause see, my dad’s runnin’ fer mayor of Tomahawk and there’s all this political bullshit about it, you know how it is. Anyway, it just didn’t seem like a good time, y’know? And there’s this big potential backer coming to the family Christmas party, so it didn’t really seem like the good time to bring that up  before we get there . . . but I swear, babe, I’ll tell them as soon as Christmas is over.”

Amber rolled her eyes. “God, fine.” 

A few minutes later Seth excused himself to use the bathroom—though it was pretty clear once he gestured for his bodyguard to follow him that he was mostly just using it as a convenient place to do drugs. Melmord followed with a look of friendly yet philosophical boredom, patting his pockets in search of whatever they were skulking off to snort, swallow, or smoke. 

Abigail was at Amber’s elbow in a second. “Fine? Are you kidding me?”

“Look,” Amber sighed, “Molly and Calvert are fine. I married their golden boy who they think can do no wrong.” Seeing Abigail gearing up to comment on that, she shook her head. “Don’t ask me why they think that. Honestly their other son, Pickles, is way more successful and definitely the reason Seth got the Dethklok Australia job, but there’s this whole truckload of family history there, it’s a big thing. I don’t like that Seth hasn’t told them yet either, but I’d really rather not put up with bitchy in-laws all Christmas . . . so at this point, it’s better for everyone and just wait.”

“What makes you think Seth is going to tell them after Christmas?” Abigail demanded. 

Amber laughed. “Honey please. I’ll make sure he does it, don’t worry about that. But are you going to be okay with this for just a few days?”

Crossing her arms with a huff, Abigail kissed her on the cheek as an answer and sank into an adjacent seat. “I don’t like that he waited until we’re practically there to tell us.”

The baby reached up from the playmat spread out on the floor and patted her knee. “Abi biccy!”

Amber ruffled her child’s tuft of dark red hair. “That’s right, Abi needs a cheer-up biscuit.”

“Choccy,” the baby insisted, and flashed a beatific smile that featured exactly one tooth.

“Ooh, a chocolate biscuit.” Amber winked at her girlfriend. “Aren’t you the favorite today.”

It wasn’t long before the plane began its descent into a town so small that Abigail was surprised they even had a runway. (She wouldn’t have been surprised if Seth had paid for it and then claimed it as a business expense, though.) A limo drove them through snowy fields with the occasional distant shape of houses. Eventually the house-to-snowy-landscape ratio increased until they were in something vaguely resembling suburbs. When they pulled to a stop in front of one house in particular, Seth bounced out of the car with a shout of, “Hey, Mom and Dad, it’s me, Seth! We’re here!”

Abigail hung back, watching Amber go ahead with the baby in one hip while she stood by the trunk of the limo, waiting for Melmord to uncover her single bag while he pulled suitcase after suitcase out and stacked it on a folding trolley. 

“Can you fill me in on what to expect here?” she asked while she waited. She didn’t know Melmord particularly well, beyond the fact that that he sounded like a pack a day sort of guy, but she didn’t get the vibe from him that he would bother to either lie or put any particular spin on things. 

Melmord shrugged. “Seth can do no wrong, his bro Pickles can do no right, and I’m pretty sure Seth’s parents think your an orphan he’s helping out for charity.”

“Uh. . . . Why?”

Melmord shrugged. “Because that’s what he told them. Don’t,” he added quickly, catching the look on her face, “say you could just kill him for it. I’m contractually obligated to physically attack the source of any threats. Just roll with it, if you try to correct them they’ll just say shit like, ‘Oh, you’re so brave.’” He held out her bag. “Order’s up, in you go.”

Amber took it with a sigh, already regretting the decision to tag along. 

It was going to be a long, long weekend.

[doof-doofblog]

"Our Family!"

Monday 14th June 2021

Part 2

Hello again folks, sticking to my word this week, I am back with another blog post. Tonight focusing on the second part of Monday's episodes. Even though EastEnders have released all their episodes online this week, I'm sure the majority of you have binged watch them all already, for me - it makes it much easier for me to do it one at a time and do a blog about each one - tomorrow though, seeing as it's my day off from the day job, I'll be writing about Part 1 and Part 2 of Tuesday's episodes together - makes it much easier I'd say!

So without further delay, let's jump right into it! I'm going to begin with Keegan and Tiffany, after applying for Walford's Best Street Food 2021 Competition, Keegan is more than thrilled after receiving a messaging informing him that his business has been shortlisted for the competition. Of course Tiffany is more than thrilled for her husband, but did anyone notice the change in her mood as soon he mentions that he has been asked to attend a photoshoot so pictures can be taken to promote his business? I guess it's fair to say that Tiffany has always been drawn to wanting fame and fortune, whereas Keegan just wants to be successful in life I guess.

Excitedly, Keegan informs Tiffany that if he was to even become runner-up or even win the competition, the photos and all the media attention he'll be receiving should increase his following on social media, hence making his business more successful. As Keegan rushes off to find some decent clothes to wear for his photoshoot, Tiffany looks, to me, a little bit jealous! Does she wish that maybe it was happening to hear instead, or as well as? For me, it seems that Tiffany confirms that she's jealous by later suggesting to Keegan that they go into business together - she is so desperate for that taste of fame and fortune as well that she doesn't want to miss being a part of it.

As Keegan asks his wife's opinion on the clothes he's chosen for the photoshoot, Tiffany claims that she's had a brilliant idea and proposes that they go into business together. Her beauty course just so happens to finish this summer and it seems she wants to put her knowledge to the test, suggesting that they could bring their businesses together - Food & Beauty - make their own social media page to build a following and go to this competition together to promote their new business. Even though Keegan is eager to support his wife's idea - he does seem to question how food and beauty can go together? (I mean, I too don't see the connection with food and beauty - unless they go along the path of vegan/organic/no animal testing route - which could work?!). Keegan then suggests that Tiffany joins him at the photoshoot much to her excitement - but will things go the way they plan? Will they be more interested in Keegan business rather than Tiffany? I'm intrigued to see what will happen regarding this subject!

--

Elsewhere, Terry is still trying to work his way in with the local Walford women and it seems that Kathy is the lady in his sights. As he and Sonia enjoy another morning of Father-Daughter bonding at the café, Sonia questions Kathy whether she's heard anymore news about Max and Abi - just incase you guys may need reminding of Kathy's connection with baby is Abi is that she is technically her Great-Grandma - so of course Kathy is going to be wanting to see the young toddler and is eager to know whether she's safe.

After revealing that she's still not heard any news from Jack and mentioning that Rainie has been in a state since the news broke about Max taking Abi, Terry leaps into action to try and get into Kathy's good books by informing her that she needs to be with her family at a time like this and offers that himself and Sonia will cover her shift for the rest of the day. Even though Kathy is reluctant at first to accept his offer, Terry is almost insistent and gets straight to work by standing behind the counter.

However even though Sonia seems happy to be helping her Dad look after the café, she can't help but giggle after overhearing Terry singing her praise, giving their café customers the story about the time when she saved Ben's life with a biro pen after he had been shot by Hunter Owen in the Queen Vic. Honestly, I think that's another thing that the character of Sonia is going to be remembered for now - what do you guys think?!

Later on when Kathy returns after spending a bit of time with Rainie, Terry is still reluctant to leave, claiming that he won't finish the job until everything has been cleaned. Kathy is surprised to see that things have been left in good hands and a disaster hasn't occurred. It's then that Sonia takes it upon herself to urge Kathy into going for a drink with her Dad, to which she happily agrees. Is this going to be new romance on the cards for Kathy? Honestly, I think she and Terry would make a lovely couple, and Kathy deserves a bit of happiness and I'd love to see her have a love interest, I'd love to know your thoughts on this possible new romance?!

--

The next thing I'm going to mention is Ruby. In this episode, after the receiving the devastating news that she's pregnant again and will most likely end up having another miscarriage, Ruby eventually informs Martin. It's clear that Martin is completely disheartened to hear that there's nothing that the clinic/nurses can do to stop Ruby from suffering with miscarriages. Ruby explains that she's so early in the pregnancy that when she does miscarry, it'll just be like a heavy period, unfortunately. I have to say, I think Ruby's character has been slowly changing since the feud with Stacey came to an abrupt end when Stacey went to prison, but I mean in a way that - she's trying to make things right with Lily and since the very beginning all she has really wanted is to have a child of her own. Devastatingly she informs her husband that she will end up having the miscarriage either that day or even the following day.

As Martin heads off to work with this news sinking in, Ruby is left to rest on the sofa, but her rest doesn't seem to last for long as she gets interrupted by a phone call from Lily's school, my first thought process was that Lily had been in trouble, but acknowledging that Martin can't collect her from school, Ruby takes it upon herself to collect Lily. As they both walk back from school, Ruby is questioning her stepdaughter as to how and why she feels ill - as clearly, she doesn't look it. At first Lily is reluctant to inform her of why she's feeling ill, but when she asks Ruby to lend her some money, Ruby is suspicious and questions what she needs the money for - it's then that Lily looks over the to building they're standing outside of, the pharmacy/chemist and Ruby instantly assumes that Lily has started her period. She tries in the most gentle way possible to reassure Lily that it's completely normal and it's something every woman unfortunately has to go through - but it's only when Lily creases over in embarrassment that Ruby looks confused. Its then that she admits that in fact she has nits and needs money for hair/scalp treatment.

Feeling sympathetic for her stepdaughter, Ruby helps Lily wash her out and comb her hair through to get rid of the nits. It seems that as time is slowly going on, Lily and Ruby are coming to enjoy each other's company and dare I say, beginning to bond. It's then that Lily then informs Ruby that Amy Mitchell has been, in a way, bullying her at school. Informing Ruby that Amy laughed at her as she was scratching and informed her that she wouldn't make any friends by the time she joins the school properly in September. Hearing this news, Ruby decides to take matters into her own hands, much to Lily's protests - but Ruby wants to do best by her stepdaughter and doing so, she confronts Amy on the front step of her house.

Stating that Amy must be ashamed of what she's done to Lily, she claims that bullies are weak people who pray on others because of their own misery and that they don't like the person that they are - Amy claims that she wasn't bullying Lily. Suddenly it looks as if Jack over hears the conversation and when Ruby informs him about Lily has told her, Jack dismisses Amy from the conversation and informs Ruby that it just so happens that Amy had nits the previous week, so it may look as if she passed them on to Lily. As they agree to confront each other in future where the children are concerned, Ruby heads back to inform Lily about what she's learnt.

However it looks as if before Ruby enters the house, Lily has been snooping in the "Worry Box" - what was she looking at? Is she going to make things much harder for Ruby now after she confronted Amy? Interestingly though, as Ruby informs Lily about Amy's nits, Lily tells Ruby that she doesn't need to worry, that she'll make a good Mum one day - which I thought was incredibly sweet of her to say, of course she has no knowledge about Ruby's diagnosis of endometriosis, but her just saying those words would understandably mean the world to Ruby. As Ruby smiles and goes to walk out the room, she suddenly clutches her stomach in agony.  

Later when Martin comes home and finds Lily sat on the sofa with a tub of ice cream, he asks his daughter where his wife is, it's then that Lily informs him that she's been stuck on the toilet for quite a considerable amount of time. Instantly we know that means devastating confirmation that Ruby has indeed had another miscarriage and tragically lost a second child, without a word she comes down the stairs and gives her husband the saddened look of confirmation. They don't share a word between each other but Lily urges Ruby to join her on the sofa, as she does, Martin gives a small and soft smile, it must make him feel hugely relieved and happy that his daughter is making a go of building a relationship with his wife and building a bond.

--

Lastly, after getting caught up in another woman's pregnancy, through absolute no fault of his own and completely missing Linda's scan Mick returns home after being at the hospital and excitedly informs Nancy about his experience delivering a new born baby, but when he realises that Linda is still not home and after putting his phone back on charge to incoming messages from his wife, the realisation sinks in that Linda had to go through her scan alone. Desperately he tries to get in touch with her and eventually they end up meeting in the park.

It's this scene which really touched me in a way, it's the moment that both Linda and Mick come together and open up about how their both feeling about her pregnancy. I guess it's fair to say that since Linda informed her husband about her being pregnant with Max's baby, Mick hasn't really been wanting to speak about it or even if Linda mentions it to him - he's easily distracted or talks about something else completely. Understandably, Linda is feeling all sorts of emotions right now - being 6 months pregnant, carrying another man's baby and her husband not willing to talk to her about how he's feeling - it's no wonder she's getting emotional and driving herself mad with worry.

She states that Mick hasn't even felt the baby kick once during this pregnancy - whereas the other times she was pregnant, he happily felt her bump without asking. However of course this pregnancy is completely different compared to her previous ones, why would he want to feel the baby kick, knowing full well that it's not his? Mick sort of clams up when he's confronted with that aspect of things - he shouldn't need to be asked to feel his wife's baby bump - it's then that Linda admits that she's come to a decision, that she'll stay at her Mum's until the baby is born and then she'll put the baby up for adoption.

This news seems to shock Mick, does he know deep down that Linda is going to be able to break herself away from a her baby? Regardless of who the Father is, she has grown to the love the child growing inside her, so putting the child up for adoption for her family would be the most devastating thing for her I think, but it says so much about her character that she's willing to do it for her family, for her husband if he can't bring himself to accept the child. She voices that she was saddened to hear the news from Nancy instead of her own husband that he was having a slight wobble about her pregnancy. She insists that if she had known sooner about how Mick was feeling, she would've had an abortion.

However, Mick knows her too well to know that she wouldn't have had an abortion. The next question Linda asks is very valid one - even though Mick tries his best to reassure her, how would he feel if the child was born with ginger hair? Would it be an every day reminder to him that he's not the child's biological Dad? How on Earth would he be able to cope with that? Would people ask questions etc etc? She pleads for him to just tell her the truth and explain to her exactly how he's feeling about the whole situation.

It was this moment that really moved me, he takes a deep breath and admits to his wife that he was having worries about whether he'd be able to bond with the baby, but then he also reassures Linda that she has to stop blaming herself for what she did, to him it doesn't matter and they've become even closer and stronger in their relationship over the last couple of months. Together they can face anything! Referring to Frankie also, Mick says a beautiful meaningful quote :- "Something beautiful can come from something we'd rather forget!" - he then does the thing that Linda has been wanting him to do the most for a very long time, he reaches over the table and gently touches her baby bump, reassuring his wife that he will love this child, simply because it's a part of her! So touching, I nearly welled up!

I think this was the talk that both Mick and Linda needed, they needed to be on the same page and know that they were both in this together. Although the other obstacle they face is when the locals begin noticing Linda's bump, questions are going to be asked. Later, returning to the Vic, Mick and Linda both decide to face all their neighbours and friends together, united, and inform them about Linda's pregnancy. The locals are all thrilled by their news and congratulate them, but when they ask how far gone she is - instead of telling them the truth, Linda states that she's 5 months pregnant (where in fact she's 6) - no one would suspect a thing or even consider that anyone else but Mick is the Father of the child. Frankie acknowledges her excitement for becoming a sister again, whereas Shirley arguably questions why they hadn't informed her sooner, considering she's been back for a good while.

However, as everyone raises a glass and toasts Linda's pregnancy, Mick and Linda smile at each other, knowing that they can face anything together, united and strong! But will things get too much for them? We know that Kellie Bright is currently pregnant in real life and will be heading on maternity leave eventually, I'm intrigued to see what will be her exit storyline - I'm convinced it will have something to do with this current pregnancy story, but how will it play out? Will Shirley find out their secret and work out that she is in fact pregnant with another man's baby? Will she figure out it's Max's?

Ooooo I'm really looking forward to seeing what happens next! Thank you all for reading, it truly means the world! Please feel free to send me any messages or comments letting me know your thoughts and opinions on the current storylines! I'll be back again tomorrow! Love you all xXx

[incoherentbabblings]

An Endless Hope (7/9)

After a horrendous blizzard falls over Gotham, Tim undergoes a sharp change in character before disappearing. Upon discovering what has become of him, Stephanie sets off on a solo journey in a magic realm to bring him home, meeting some faces who seem awfully familiar along the way.

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Stephanie grew angry, frustrated that this world seemed determined to take her through one long extended metaphor of her interpersonal relationships. Whomever this old woman was supposed to be, she had no time for it.

“Yes, yes. ‘Tis me. A human being. I am trying to get to the ice witch’s palace, but this lovely creature decided here was a better stop. Not to be rude but… I’m not here willingly.”

The old woman smiled at Stephanie’s attitude.

“Come in. Warm up. If you want into that palace I can help, but I’ll need to know your purpose.”

“No,” Stephanie stubbornly pushed back. “I can find my own way in.”

The lady was not impressed, trudging up to Stephanie and Abie. She grabbed Stephanie’s ankle and tugged hard, making Stephanie tumble off the reindeer and land face first in the snow.

“You will die if you just barge in with no idea how that magic works. Only a fool would do such a thing.”

Raising her head, spitting out snow and glowering at the woman, Stephanie sardonically replied, “Maybe I am a fool.”

“A fool in love?”

Stephanie’s jaw twitched and the lady sighed. She held out a palm for Stephanie to take.

“You haven’t gotten this far on your own. The final steps will be yours, but you will need one last push to get you over the edge.” Chewing her lip, Stephanie took the woman’s hand and was hauled up. After being allowed inside the sweltering hut, Stephanie perched herself on a little wooden bench, taking off her cloak and shoes. The old woman looked back at Abie, “You can come in too Mr Reindeer.”

“His name is Abie,” Stephanie interjected.

Abie trotted inside. He was a little bit too big for the space, but it seemed he appreciated the warmth as much as the plate of beetroot that the lady placed in front of him as he settled on some hay near the fire. The lady pat his large head and looked to Stephanie,

“A good name. What’s yours?”

A plate of cheesy potatoes was pulled out of the oven. Stephanie’s stomach once again grumbled, and she swallowed sorely.

“Oh no. I’m done playing that game. Last time a nice old lady offered me food and help and asked my name I ended up brainwashed for weeks.”

The woman seemed amused at Stephanie’s short fuse temper and asked, “Which old lady?”

“Who knows. A cottage by a big river. I was drowning and she picked me up…” Stephanie looked down at her gloves, feeling a stab of sympathy for the old lady. “I think she was lonely and wanted the company. I must have looked like a gift from God.”

The old lady snorted, unimpressed.

“Good thing I have no interest in letting you stay here very long then,” and Stephanie watched as the old lady piled two plates high full of cheesy goodness. “I am a witch, not like the one whose castle you are hunting, but I look after the land surrounding. There’s a couple of us here and there. We maintain our little plots of land and try to keep out of trouble from people like the Princess of Summer or the Snow Queen.”

“I met the Summer Princess, I think. She’d just gotten married.”

The old lady made an impressed face. “Red hair? Green eyes? Jaundice skin?”

Stephanie nodded, “Yes. A palace in the trees?”

The old lady whistled, sitting down next to Stephanie, and tucking into her meal. She placed the second plate and fork on Stephanie’s lap.

“Took her long enough. She’s a good girl really, a little proud, but when things get hard our pride is all we have. Her pride prevented her happiness for some time though.”

Stephanie sighed, looked at the potatoes, then Abie resting against the fire, and turned to eat. It was very tasty.

The two ate in silence for a while, and when Stephanie was finished, the lady took her plate and placed it in the sink.

“So,” the woman said gripping her counter. “A human crossed the border and is trying to get to the Snow Queen’s palace. There is strong magic around her home. I can help you cross, but I need to know why.”

“She took someone.”

“Another human? Yes, she does that sometimes.” The old lady turned, a suspicious eye on Stephanie. “But no-one has ever been followed. No rescue attempt has ever been made. You jumped borders to find them. Who is this person to you?”

“He’s my… he’s mine. My person. My boy.”

The woman’s suspicious look grew soft, “Your heart?”

“I love him very much,” Stephanie said simply. “He doesn’t deserve to be abandoned or forgotten.”

The heat was becoming uncomfortable, so Stephanie looked for permission to take off her tights.

“Oh, yes. Sorry. I have to keep it very warm here.”

“Understandably.”

The woman with a sigh sat down opposite Stephanie once more. She grew solemn.

“It is good, that you are motivated by love. She doesn’t understand such a thing. It means you can get inside.”

Stephanie could not let go entirely of her suspicion of witches, and asked, “Why would you help me? Surely it won’t matter to you if I fail or succeed. Actually, if anything, if I do succeed… she might hurt you.”

“Oh, she wouldn’t dare. Don’t you worry about that. It’ll be nice for her to learn a lesson about humans and their tenacity for once. I’m tired of her taking and taking with no thought to the consequences. She sees you all as so weak.” A breath, a stilted silence, and Stephanie waited patiently. When the woman spoke again, it was with a quiet urgency, a need to make Stephanie understand the severity of her quest. “You're going to have to give something up, something you love, something he loves, in order to reach the throne room."

Stephanie thought for a moment, then offered her hands entreating, "My gloves. I made them for him. Took me weeks. Would these do?"

The lady sighed, then pushed Stephanie's hands back towards her chest.

"No. I'm afraid that's not enough." She inspected Stephanie from head to toe, and Stephanie fought the urge to push that there was nothing else on her that Tim loved, outside of her own life.

Oh. Was this where it had all been heading? Childhood, first love, parenthood... Death?

Clasping her hands to her chest, she begged, "There has to be something..."

Reaching forward, the lady tugged the at the hair tie that held in what remained of the fantastic braid the Summer Princess had given Stephanie. It had mostly fallen out during the fight and flight from the robbers, but still. The lady lightly combed her trembling wrinkled fingers through Stephanie’s hair. It was still curly and wavy, a little bit wild, but soft and shining.

It really was too long. But Tim liked it, even if he had never said so aloud, so she had put off getting it cut for over a year. She liked that he liked it.

Stephanie’s breathing stilled. “Take it.”

“You’re sure?” The lady brushed Stephanie’s cheek as she stood up. Fumbling through some cabinets, it seemed she was looking for a pair of scissors.

“It’ll grow back,��� Stephanie pushed. Grabbing the curls in two bundles, she shook the golden strands. “It’s like twenty inches at this point. I don’t need it. Not if it will help Tim.”

Panting with panic, Stephanie watched the lady struggle to find anything to chop her hair with. There was a spinning wheel in the corner but the woman honestly didn’t have a pair of scissors?

“A simple pair of scissors will not do,” said the woman, seemingly reading Stephanie’s mind. What else would work?

“Wait, here,” and Stephanie pulled out from her belt the knife the boy had given her. “Can you use this?”

The woman looked shocked that Stephanie even had such a thing. “Where did you get this?”

“A little boy gave it to me. The robbers who live by the edge of the forest.”

The woman took the knife. “This is a very special weapon. He would not have let go of such a thing so lightly.”

Stephanie resolved to find the precious boy and return the knife once her and Tim began their journey home.

Moving behind Stephanie, the woman twisted up her hair into the beginnings of what would have been a French twist. Holding the knife near the base of her neck, Stephanie prayed she hadn’t made a mistake of trusting the wrong person.

The woman paused and asked for one last confirmation, “This isn’t just hair, you know? Well, it is for you maybe, but over here –”

“I’ve cut it short before. He didn’t care. Hurry up,” Stephanie snapped. “I need to go to him, he needs me. Long hair or bald.”

“Well you won’t be bald,” the lady reassured, tone teasingly pleasant. “Just a little bit of a choppy cut. But still, I’ll ask again. What’s your name? And what is the name of the boy you are hunting for?”

Stephanie gulped, knowing she probably didn’t have much of a choice, especially with a sharp knife very close to her spinal cord.

“My name is Stephanie Brown. And I’m wanting to find Timothy Drake and bring him home.”

The woman whispered to herself, and then the sound of the sharp knife cutting through her hair like hot butter made Stephanie shiver and cry out, almost as if someone had pulled one of her fingers from its joint. For an unknown reason she began to cry. She felt the short strands of hair fall down and frame her face. Her right hand went up to feel the damage and the woman stepped in front of her. She placed the knife back in Stephanie’s lap and shook the thick and long clump of hair in her other hand. Stephanie looked up at her, eyes wet and red.

“You’ll have to wait a bit longer,” the old woman said as she trundled over to the spinning wheel. Feeling unsteady on her feet, Stephanie got up and watched the old woman whisper at her chopped off hair and begin to thread the machine.

“You can’t make yarn out of human hair,” Stephanie protested, voice thick with phlegm made by her tears. “It’s not good for that.”

“Ahem. Who is the magic lady here? You’ve heard stories of people turning hay to gold right?”

“Rumpelstiltskin?”

“That’s a terrible name. But if we can do it with hay, imagine what we can do with hair…”

And she began to spin, muttering to herself every now and then, whilst Stephanie repeatedly ran her hands through her short hair. Shortly after her first pregnancy she had chopped most of it off and obsessively straightened it. Back then she had told herself it was because it was getting difficult to manage its length under her Spoiler mask, but in hindsight it made just as much sense to blame it on wanting to start fresh. She had her baby, she knew Tim’s name, and they had begun their relationship in earnest, both as Robin and Spoiler and Tim and Steph. New beginnings and all that. She’d also wanted Dana and Jack to take her more seriously. Short straight hair belonged to a more responsible lady. Not a frivolous teen mom. Fat lot of good it had done her, but she had tried.

She had tried.

“Listen closely,” the woman said, twisting the hair and pressing the pedal as she worked. “I know what she does to the humans she brings back with her. She longs for their fragile beauty to be preserved, but the entire kidnapping process is just too traumatic for humans, so they quickly die. From the cold, from grief… doesn’t matter. They can’t survive with her. So, in recent decades, she’s been testing freezing their hearts. They can survive longer in the cold that way. But freezing their hearts strips them of what she loves about humans. But she’s too foolish to understand why she loves them so.”

She paused and looked at Stephanie. A moment passed of uncomfortable silence, and the woman narrowed her dark eyes at Stephanie.

“You know why you love this boy, correct?”

“Yes.”

“Tell me.”

“Does it matter? Is chopping my hair off and coming all this way not proof enough that I love him?”

The lady was having none of Stephanie’s bashful anger, and pushed harder, “I need to know why.”

Stephanie grabbed a tuff of her short hair and walked away, over to Abie and the fire. She was sweating, she was so warm.

“Because he understands. He understands what I’ve gone through and he doesn’t think me weak or foolish for it. He’s watched me grow up and he’s proud of me. He’s grown up too. He doesn’t make me do things I don’t want to do. He indulges whatever stupid fancy I get into my head. Like me growing flowers as a substitute for children because he knows that it’s just what I need to do at that moment to work through something in my head. I’m not a victim to him, I’m a hero. He’s beautiful. He has breath that smells like coca cola and he holds me like if I’m not there with him nothing in the world makes sense. He told me once I keep him on the straight and narrow and I like that what I think matters to him. He’s so smart and he’s so kind and genuine and when we argue it’s not over whether or not I forgot to do the laundry last night… Because he’s been through so much pain, that it leaks out in odd ways… he tries so hard to not let it colour the good times. And yet he tries to be better. And I want to help him be better because he believes I am better too. And he’s gentle. Oh my God… he’s so gentle with me. I can't give that up. No-one else has ever come close.”

The sound of the fire crackling and the reindeer snoring filled the cabin, and eventually the cranking of the spinning wheel stopped. Stephanie looked up to see gold embroidery thread in the woman’s left hand and a needle in the right. She looked at Stephanie like a proud grandmother.

“Sew this into your gloves. You’ll be able to open the doors of her palace then.”

Brushing her cheeks clear of tears, Stephanie nodded, sat down, took off the gloves, and set to work.

“You’ll enter the palace, and then you’ll find him. Then what?”

“We’ll go home.”

“He may not be able to leave. He may not want to leave. He may not remember you, or home, or your family. Any of it.”

“Magic?”

“Magick,” the lady corrected, and Stephanie rolled her eyes. “When his behaviour changed, what preceded it?”

Stephanie paused in her sewing, thinking out loud. “He’d seen a figure in the storm. It must have been her watching him. We were playing outside, and the snow picked up. He was looking upwards, sticking his tongue out to catch snowflakes. Something got in his eye. It was so sudden.”

“It’s a speciality of hers. A type of glass. It gets in your body and freezes everything. No love, no warmth. It fades away. All that’s left is an insatiable boredom and coldness in both mind and body that can’t be relieved.”

“He kissed me,” Stephanie remembered. “Right before he left. I think it was him, one last burst, before he slipped away.”

The lady smiled and wrapped up the cooled dinner she had made, setting it on the windowsill.

“True love’s kiss? Clever boy to try. It works in some instances, but not here. This is a physical object that needs removing.”

“From his eye? What can I do? Aside ripping out his eyeball.”

“Don’t… don’t dismiss the possibility entirely.”

“I will not hurt him.”

The lady tapped Stephanie’s breastbone. “You humans. All so soft. So warm. I believe you know what kind of world you are in Stephanie. Play by our rules. It will get you there. I believe in you, for what an old lady’s opinion is worth.”

Stephanie watched at the lady settled in a rocking chair and closed her eyes to rest. Tilting her head, Stephanie smiled.

“I know who you remind me of.”

“Someone nice I hope.”

“A doctor. Back home. She gave me a second chance. Made me realise I’m not a total failure.”

The lady smiled in response. “Who else have you met on your journey?”

“Mother…best friend… mentor… family of maybe one day in-laws? And you.”

“Who is left then?”

Stephanie’s smile faltered, and she returned to sewing. “No-one good.”

She wasn’t intending to make a pattern with the thread. She didn’t have time. She did the hems of the wrists and fingers and made several lines of hidden stitches up and down the ribbing. She worked until she ran out of thread.

She put the gloves back on. In the dimming light of dusk, they glimmered. Golden lines shooting through the pitch black. Stephanie stood up and announced,

“Done.”

Abie looked up, sensing she would be setting off soon. The old lady rose up and opened the front door, letting the cold flood in. The sun had nearly set.

“It will not rise again for you. Eternal winter from here on out. Which is good news for you, hate to have you go snow blind.” The lady walked to Abie and pat his nose with careful deliberateness. “Drop her off at the red berry bushes. Then come back here.”

In a flurry of excitement that panicked Steph, the reindeer bucked up and thrust his big snout under Stephanie, pushing her up and over onto his back.

“No wait! I need to get my coat and shoes and –”

“Good luck Stephanie!” The lady proclaimed at the door, gesturing for Abie to set off once more. “The gloves will keep you warm for a time, but not forever. You'll need to gift them over to Timothy if you want to leave the palace. Be swift!”

“I’ll freeze!”

She tried to get off, but the reindeer once again began to canter, causing her to shriek in fright and pain. No cloak, bare legs and toes, with only a peasant blouse and a purple pinafore dress to protect her from the cold. Her mittens wouldn’t even protect her fingertips.

“No, no, no. I’m no good to anyone if I’m dead,” she howled over the wind, which stole her voice away. “You have to take me back.”

The reindeer ignored her and continued onwards. Feeling like she was being stabbed thousands of times by the smallest of needles, she continued to cry out in pain, fingers tightening in the reindeer’s fur in an attempt to focus her brain.

Eventually Abie slowed to a trot, unable to keep up the pace, and Stephanie was allowed to catch her breath. She was cold, of course she was, but not enough to fear for her life just yet. Maybe she had a bit of extra endurance thanks to the old lady and the gloves, but still; she would have had a lot more time if she had been allowed to put on her tights.

They continued along in the darkness. The sky was clear, and Stephanie spent most of the journey looking up at the sky. Moonlight did its job enough to let her see shadows and adjust so she was not riding blind. She’d seen the Milky Way from her time in Africa, but still. This was another planet, so their stars and galaxies were different. Her mouth dropped open as her eyes adjusted, and she laughed with joy at the sight of the night sky in full.

She had no idea for how long they ran. At some point the equivalent of the Northern Lights sprung into life, dancing across the sky. It was the first time Stephanie had seen such a thing, and she marvelled at the dancing blue, green and purple lights, shimmering like curtains in the breeze. They were so bright they lit up the snow as they crossed hill after mound, up and down across sweeping valleys. Abie chuffed and sped up a little.

“Are we getting close? We must be…” Stephanie asked. Her heart stuttered, and she knew her question to be true.

They finally crossed the summit of one final peak, and Stephanie gasped loudly at the sight. Where the Princess of Summer had seemingly taken care to integrate her home into the surrounding environment, the palace that Stephanie gawked at in the centre of the valley was anything but incorporated.

It was far too large to be occupied by one creature. It spanned the width of the valley, seemingly hovering a hundred feet from the valley basin, a frozen river flowing underneath. There was one path in and out of the structure, the road built into the hillside. Numerous towers in sharp angular shapes pierced the lit-up atmosphere, and the entire fortress glowed and reflected the dancing night sky.

Very distantly, Stephanie could see a purple blob on the river. Tilting her head, she realised it was her car, half buried in snow and ice.

The pair slowly made their way down the pass. Stephanie brought her feet up, her toes burning from the cold, to tuck them under her legs. The reindeer had a broader back than any horse, so she tried her best to perch delicately. Her shivering had gotten painful, teeth chattering and breathing difficult. She readjusted her grip on his neck, and lowered herself down, trying to take some of his warmth. What had that woman done, sending her out here with none of her warm clothes?

White bare trees marked the beginning of the bridge, which was lined with red holly bushes. Abie stopped, and Stephanie knew this was where she was on her own. Looking down, at the snow and ice that she would have to plant her feet into, she gulped. Slowly, bracing, she lowered herself down, crying out when her toes reached the floor. The snow was so tightly packed she did not sink in, but her body temperature was still warm enough to melt it slightly underfoot. She very quickly felt chilblains developing. Much more time here and she would be frostbitten.

She looked to the reindeer, who seemed a little mournful, like he was sending her off to her doom. She smiled shakily and smacked a wet kiss to his snout.

“Thank you, Abie. Be good!”

Abie chuffed, then turned around and left her. The sound of his snow treading hooves filled the valley, and Stephanie heard her own pulse throbbing in her head. She watched him go, just for a moment, then turned back towards the road. Shaking her feet like she would before a sprint and taking several icy breaths, building herself up for her task, she sprinted across the bridge. Going through the front door was perhaps not the most sensible option, but it was the only entrance she could see. She wasn’t about to go smashing her way into an ice palace (yet). She tried to keep quiet as she bolted across the several hundred-metre stretch, but the cold stung, and she cried out in pain.

There was no wind. There was no life. Empty and beautiful and cold. The purple and green sky made her feel like she was in a nightmare, the feeling akin to when she had been in and out of fevered consciousness during her time with Black Mask. The visuals made no sense and she was cold. Very cold.

Death. It was just like lying on that hospital bed, Leslie forcibly restarting her heart the few times it found the strain of living with a broken body too much.

She crashed into the huge door, slipping when the snow turned to ice, and the sounded reverbed over the valley. She fumbled with the huge doors, trying to locate something to grip and push or pull so she could slide in, but it was perfectly smooth and clear – clear enough to let her see the inside. There was no-one, nothing. No sign of life to be found.

She banged on the door hard, shrieking,

“Hey! Hey! You have someone who doesn’t belong to you! Give him back! Hello! Let me in!”

Kicking did no good, nor did body slamming it. Hot tears began to form again, and after one ill advised head butt, she slumped forward on her knees. There was not even a crack in the ice from all her efforts. It was ice, not diamond, why couldn’t she make a dent?

“I haven’t come all this way to be beaten at the front door,” she hissed. She pressed her gloved hands against the ice. “You can’t… you can’t keep him from me. Let me in!”

Something in the ice gave way, and she stumbled forward onto her thighs. Her hands, or rather the gloves, had melted all the way through. Squealing, she got a grip on the other side, and ripped through a hole. She did it again and again, opening up a space near the ground that was big enough for her to crawl through.

She scrambled inside ungraciously, and to her disappointment it was no warmer inside than outside. She remained on the floor, strength leaving her, until she was able to grip what she supposed was a side table and haul herself up. Movement caught her eye as she rose, and when she looked to the side, tense, she screeched. The sound echoed through the empty high-ceilinged antechamber. Stephanie cringed at how girly she sounded as she lost her footing on the ice and slipped, smacking her head again.

Well, now everyone knows you’re here.

Everyone being no-one, as no movement or noise appeared in response to her antics. Grunting, she pulled herself up to look in the mirror which had frightened her. Still not quite to grips with her appearance, she again reached up and curled her fingers into her hair.

It was lopped so choppily into a bob that, coupled with her full bangs, it made her look like she was six years old again, when she had found a pair of scissors in the bathroom and deigned to give herself a haircut. Crystal had found it funny. Arthur had not.

Her nose was red, as were her cheeks. Her lips were cracked and raw, and the skin around her eyes were stiff and sore. The water she had cried had quickly frozen in the wind as her and Abie ran, and it had not been kind to her skin. There was a giant red mark on her forehead from headbutting a solid ice door. She looked a mess.

“Keep going,” she breathed, trying not to falter. “Nearly there. Keep going, Steph.”

She stirred up enough energy to jog through the palace, occasionally losing her footing on the slippery ice.

Stephanie followed the corridors inwards, the refracting and reflecting light from outside disorientating and confusing. No matter which way she turned, no matter which empty rooms she entered, they all seemed to be pointing towards the centre of the structure. She cried out for Tim every now and then, in the empty hollow rooms, seeing as there was nothing living in the castle, but in her heart she knew, even if he could hear her, he probably wouldn’t care enough to answer.

As she continued, her pace slowed. Her limbs grew heavier and her walking faltered. It became her pushing herself upwards and onwards, only to make it a few steps before collapsing to her knees again. She used the walls and what little furniture there was as support, but she was sluggish and tired. Her limbs burned and breathing was laborious.

Finally, she reached another set of doors, these ones made from a crystal rather than ice, so she could not see what lay on the other side. Her heart thumped erratically, and she was sweating. She was so close. This door had handles thankfully, so Stephanie managed to grip it, getting to her feet one last time, and shove it open.

A huge amphitheatre opened up before her, dozens of meters high. There were steps down leading to the main open space which circled around a throne, suspended on what looked like a gravity defyingly crooked and thin staircase.

At the base, sat very neatly with crossed legs, was Tim.

“Tim!” Stephanie cried out. He looked up at her, face confused, and even from the distance, Stephanie could see he did not look well.

Her heart jerked, throwing her forwards. Stephanie took a step to run down to meet him, but her feet had grown numb from the cold, and she stumbled.

Tim watched, disinterested, as a blonde girl wearing a thin blouse and woollen dress fell down the clear stairs. She was not quiet in her descent, crying out and cursing at each solid smack and crack. She tumbled head over ankles before coming to rest for a moment on the flat ground. Tim watched as she whimpered and lay still for a moment, apparently catching her breath.

Feeling nothing more than confusion over the bizarre appearance, his attention returned to his task of spelling a word from broken mirror shards.

“Tim!”

When he looked up at the sound of his name, the blonde girl crashed into him, wrapping him up in the warmest embrace he had felt for weeks. Her hot breath moved through his hair, and he felt a solid, tempting heat emanate from the centre of her chest.

“Tim,” she sobbed. “Tim! I found you!”

[estrider]

The “New Ask Game” ask game with Dirk (or any f/o of your choice, really)?

!! mornin abi!

-What made me like them?

Okay, for Dirk, it's kinda complicated. Believe it or not, when I saw Dirk originally in like 2015 I hated him. Couldn't tell you why! I just know I did. I grew to like him through ask blogs on tumblr, and honestly just thought his cool dude persona was really cute!

-My favorite thing about them?

My favorite thing about him is probably his resolve. He's so stubborn and resolute in his beliefs, even going as far as denying what people tell him. It's adorable but frustrating.

-Nicknames we have for each other?

I call him joking titles for royalty, and he calls Joel J, or bluejay. Due to Joel being a jerk and liking shiny stuff. Plus its cute!!

-A headcanon of our relationship/friendship?

Joel makes most of the shells for the robots Dirk makes, due to being better at the metalworking than Dirk.

-My favorite image of them?

I don't have any images 😔 but I can supply this snippet of a fic ive been working on!

The auto-responder asked him “What are you doing up here by yourself? You know moping is bad for you. What would Joel say?"Dirk had no response, of course. He knew he was being irrational, but he couldn’t help the spiral he found himself trapped in. His mind recoiled at the mere idea of reaching out for help, his Bro having ensured he’d only do so when absolutely necessary. He didn’t view this as an emergency.

Standing on the cliff face, highest fall you'll ever grace

It scares me half to death

Dirk stood on the edge of the roof, looking over the deep murky water. He took off the computerized dark glasses, putting the triangular glass into his sylladex. The point of this was unclear to him, his defense mechanism now moot. He leaned against the radio tower, eyes cast skywards. Unsure of when he had moved, he allowed himself to idle for a moment.

Look out to the future, but it tells you nothing

So take another breath

His lungs burned, his chest tighter than he was used to, he took a shaky breath, eyes cast skywards. With a shuddering sigh, his mind ran on overdrive, focusing on his flaws particularly the ones related to Joel. He couldn’t help but feel unworthy of the heir, the heir’s "bubbly” personality being too much to ignore. Me had a friendly disposition, but me has to be worn out due to the stress of moris’ session. His mind unhelpfully supplied. He shook it to try and clear it, to no avail.

Your hands protect the flames

From the wild winds around you

-Anything else!

lord im gay for an anime hunk. thank u for reading.

[justjessame]

Dr. Tali Sullivan Chapter 27

I waited to contact Rowena. Harvey and I were trying to make sense of WHY this person would choose to contact me now. It made no sense, but I had a flash of fear that he wanted Abi. That she was the reason for his interest. That he wanted the child that we’d created together and this was his way of starting the ball rolling to get her.

Harvey was upset that we didn’t have a last name. I caught him staring at the picture more than I cared to see, but realized that the resemblance was pretty fucking striking. I didn’t KNOW this John person, though, not like I knew Harvey. And, as we tiptoed around how we felt about him making contact now, I didn’t want to know him.

The man I still wanted to marry didn’t hesitate on that first night, after we’d read the letter and stared at the photo, to push Abi’s crib into our bedroom. I could see that he was as scared that John’s interest was in our baby girl too and having her close, under our watchful eyes, made both of us more comfortable. And as he held me, both of us struggling to rest, I felt happy knowing that he wasn’t shying away from me. That he didn’t blame me for this upheaval.

 Two days, we let ourselves process for two full days. After we put Abigail in her crib and turned the monitor on so we could watch her sleep, I finally contacted not only Rowena, but Crowley and Castiel too. I wanted to know what the hell was going on, and I wanted all three of them in front of me when I found out.

They came, moments from one another, and saw the letter laying on the table beside the photo. None of them looked thrilled to see the evidence, but I did see them share an uncomfortable look.

“Anyone want to tell us what the fuck this is about?” Harvey asked, voice quiet, but also commanding. “Because I have to tell you, it’s not a fucking welcome surprise.”

Rowena sighed and took the chair closest to me. Taking my hand in hers, she stared into my eyes. Satisfied with whatever she saw, she kept my hand and explained. Cas was pacing, slowly, but I could see him out of the corner of my eye, and Crowley sat on the end of the couch that Harvey and I were curled on.

“The deal you made, Tali-” my eyes widened, what deal? She sighed heavily and looked to her son for support. “Right, that memory was lost as well. Let me begin at the beginning.”

Harvey and I listened as the witch, a dear friend of mine, explained the life and times of Tali Sullivan and her love for a man called John Winchester. How he’d died, as a hunter, but also as a sacrifice for his son named Dean. That he’d taken up hunting after his wife had died at the hands of a demon, the same demon who I made a deal with to bring him back to life. And how, after he’d killed the demon with the help of his son Dean and another called Sam, he knew he’d doomed me for a painful final three months of life. She explained that a sibling of the demon he’d killed had possessed me, taking away nine years of my life and leaving only after the world was on the verge of ending and letting me awaken to my heavily pregnant body with no real memories of those years it had been inside of me. Mary, she explained, was given a second chance, a gift to the eldest son when he stopped the world ending. And I’d gone to my family, had Abigail, and died.

“I-we couldn’t let that stand, my dear,” Crowley offered, as I tried to force the memories back. “But we feared, should you be given a second chance of your own, that you’d yearn for him. That you’d-”

“Make the same mistake twice?” I whispered, trying desperately to find this John Winchester in my mind. “It was purely one sided?” That’s how it sounded, that he wanted my body, but not ME. And that I’d been naive enough to fall head over heels for him.

“No,” Cas finally broke in, his pacing finished for now. “It wasn’t, Tali.” I looked up at him and saw that he looked conflicted. A glance at Rowena and I could see her give a small nod to him. “John loved you, deeply.” I started to argue but he rushed on. “He never thought he deserved you, or your sacrifice, and when he killed Azazel, the demon knowing that its death would mean your pain, he wanted nothing more than to let you go. To find happiness and peace for those nine years you lost, but when you were possessed, it wouldn’t let him.” He knelt in front of me and looked up with the same sad eyes he always seemed to have. “Tali, you meant a great deal to John, you still do. But you pushed him away, and then kept Abigail from him. When he saw you a few months ago-”

“What?” Harvey was staring at me like I’d kept something from him, but I honestly didn’t know what Cas was talking about.

“She doesn’t remember, Harvey,” Rowena offered, her hand still holding mine. “It’s part of the spell, if that letter and photo get removed from this house, by tomorrow she’ll haven’t the faintest idea that she’d ever seen it. This conversation? Gone.”

“You stole them from her?” He sounded shocked, but I wanted to have the peace of not remembering back. The feeling of contentment in thinking that Abi’s father was some vague shadow that was far too unimportant to recall. “And if the letter and pictures stay?”

“Then she’ll keep this conversation, but the memories aren’t there. Not unless she asks me to give them back.” Rowena was staring at me, but I didn’t want it. Not the memories, not the fear that came with them. I shook my head, but Harvey interrupted.

“Tali, sweetheart, don’t be so quick to answer.” He kissed my cheek. “This is Abi’s dad, honey.”

“No,” I answered, more forcefully than I’d sounded for days. “YOU are Abi’s daddy, Harvey. YOU.” I handed the letter, card, envelope, and picture to Rowena. “I don’t want to know him. I don’t care.” I felt Cas tense at my knees. “I’m sorry, but no.”

 They left soon after, and Harvey held me as I told him that it didn’t matter. That John Winchester didn’t matter. Only our future, our wedding, our family did.