#honestly good thing I can recover for two weeks before we learn the truth

[chaoflaka]

Everyone when the Final War is over:

[vibing-and-writing]

legends never die

@tsunotaromalleus​ asked: Hello! May I request a fic for Harbinger!Diluc if thats okay? Thank you very much!

A/N: hi hi!!! so this fic went through a lot of evolution and this is what it ended up being so I hope you enjoy it!! this was super fun to write since i’ve never written something angsty before!! hope everyone is having a happy holidays <3

Summary: After learning about Diluc being a Harbinger, you’re filled with rage and heartbreak. Not all is as it seems...

Harbinger!Diluc X Reader (Gender Neutral)

It all seems to make sense looking back on it. 

When Diluc said the Fatui were able to roam free because of the Harbingers, it makes sense that he would be one of them. To give credit where credit was due, Diluc really outdid himself. Orchestrating that whole attack on Monstadt, feigning interest in helping Davalin, and going as far as to convince you he actually cared for you were all part of an intricate plan. You couldn’t help but stare at him, even while he kisses the hand of Signora, your arms wrapped around an unconscious Venti. Signora laughs at your dumb-stricken face, her hand still in Diluc’s. “You didn’t honestly think he cared about you right? You’re nothing but a fallen star, lost and naive.” Signora says, her Fatui companions laughing with her. 

You can hear the Knights of Fravonius gathering behind you, having heard the commotion. Among them, you can see Kaeya, Jean, and Lisa, all with their respective weapons raised. Kaeya steps forward, his sword poised to attack. “I always thought you were the best of us, brother, but I guess I was wrong,” Kaeya calls out, and you can almost see Diluc’s brows furrow. Recovering, Diluc scoffs, his hands moving towards his claymore. “The world is changing Kaeya, now move with it or stand against it.” Diluc replies, his Pyro vision swirling around his hands and weapon. 

Glancing between Diluc and the knights, Signora smirks. “Well if it’s a fight you’re looking for I’d be happy to oblige. A fight for all the Mora.” Signora saunters closer to you, her manicured hand roughly grabbing your face. “If you win, the Fatui vow to leave Mondstat and end all talk of diplomacy and policy. If we win, Mondstat’s economic and political assets are under our control, no holds barred.” Signora looks between her compatriots, which are all nodding along to her offer except Diluc. “You have five days for your answer, Traveller. Blessed be.” The air is tense as the lackeys summon a portal, Signora and Diluc walking through.

~~~~~

The days following are full of long talks in Jean’s office and emotional whiplash. From anger due to Diluc’s betrayal, to motivation to take him down, to sadness at losing someone you deeply care about. The first day is spent setting down the base of a plan. One thing becomes certain: Diluc and Signora are the major targets, not only because of their power, but also the affect it would have on other nations. If Mondstat was able to take down not one but two Harbingers, not only would that show immense political power, but it also means that the Fatui have less leverage in all of Tyvet. Additionally, it’s decided very early that the footmen of the Knights are in charge of protecting Mondstat in case of a potential ambush. Since the only ones tasked with fighting the Harbingers are Kaeya, Jean, Lisa, and you, a lot of intense training had to be done. By the third day, Jean sends the letter with the affirmation of the fight. The date is set for next week, at the peak of Cape Oath. All that was left was to make preparations and let the chips fall where they may. 

~~~~~~

On the day of the fight, you don’t even bother with feeling nervous. All you can feel is unbridled rage and sadness. Truth be told, as all of you walk up to the peak, the energy only seems to grow. Kaeya, for the loss of a friend and brother, Jean, for the betrayal of someone she fought alongside for many battles, and Lisa, for the people of Mondstat affected by all the atrocities done. All of you can feel palpable energy as you meet with Signora and Diluc. You force your eyes to not meet Diluc’s, saving all the unbridled rage for the real fight. Signora struts closer to your party, her expression bored. “I’m surprised you decided to show up.” The air in the area is tense, but Signora remains unbothered. “Fighting two powerful Harbingers all for your silly little freedom. How low Venti has stooped to ask you for help.” Signora snickers at the silence, the air in the area changing in pressure. Diluc glances at you, his face impassive as he raises his claymore, his hands glowing. Both parties stand at a standstill, weapons drawn. 

You feel yourself moving before you realize, your sword poised to strike, and the fight begins. For the amount of rage that had filled your party, you dare say you were winning. With Jean and Lisa with Signora, and you and Kaeya with Diluc, it seems to be in your favor.

Sadly, right as you start to grow in confidence, Diluc lands a solid hit Kaeya, his Cryo melting under Diluc’s heat. Throwing him off balance, Diluc throws Kaeya a few feet away from him. Chancing a glance at Jean and Lisa, who seem to be handling themselves, you charge at Diluc full force, your swords clashing loudly. All that can be heard are your breaths, all of your strength pushing against his as everything else seems to quiet. Diluc locks your gaze with his, his eyes so determined it almost makes you pause. “I’m on your side,” Diluc says, your swords still interlocked. At his words you push even further, gaining momentum advantage. You let out a feral battle cry, releasing all of your anger into one charge as you land a good hit right near his eye. Seeing Diluc wince in pain, you continue to push the advantage before answering, your voice eerily low. “Don’t you dare lie. I trusted you and you betrayed me.” 

All Diluc can do is go on the defensive, matching you blow for blow. Finding an opening, he hits you right near your heel, making you yelp in pain as your foot buckles and you fall to one knee. Taking his weapon to your neck he holds you there, completely at his mercy. “I guess I’ll have to prove it to you then.” Using your shoulders as a platform, pushing you to the floor, he jumps over you. Stunned in shock, you watch Diluc maneuver around, dodging a recovered Kaeya and a very confused Jean and Lisa as his Pyro meets Signora’s Cryo. 

Having been distracted with Diluc, you failed to notice how much damage the acting Grandmaster and Lisa had done to Signora. Her hair is not only in disarray from Jean’s Anemo but also she is also crackling with purple energy, her once composed figure now in near shambles. Defenses crumbling, she tries to hold back Diluc, who is quickly melting the ice surrounding her. Signora lets out a confused sound before her ice shield completely dissipates, Diluc’s weapon making the finishing blow. 

[galacticlamps]

im sorry im sorry im sorry i know it’s been well over a year but i accidentally thought about Short Trips: Deleted Scenes (again) and it’s killing me (again) so i think im just gonna go ahead and post all these stupid thoughts that have been plaguing me about it since i first heard it & maybe that’ll help clear up some space in my head for like, real life things.

Spoilers I guess? It’s like a year and a half old but also high key the most recent 2nd doctor content i believe we’ve gotten which is like, the only negative thing I can say about it

The TLDR version is this:

I literally cant believe how sweet it is? Painful, but sweet. Like. I don’t honestly know what’s more likely - did they set out to write Jamie a nice little straight love interest and just fail miserably at it by constantly likening her to the Doctor AND paralleling the Doctor’s perspective with her ex’s AND putting Jamie’s relationships with both of them in direct tension with each other while constantly letting his with the Doctor win out?

OR - did they do a very 1960s thing and say hey we’re gonna write what’s essentially a story about how much Jamie and the Doctor love each other and release it on Valentine’s Day thinly disguised as a one-off romance with a french lady?

Now, as a general rule, my attitude toward questions like that is usually “don’t know, don’t care, doesn’t matter” - and while I 100% stand by that, I also have to admit that this particular audio seems to pay enough attention to detail that I’d kind of think I was selling it short if I assumed too many of these things were just meaningless coincidences, you know?

Anyway, that’s the most coherent/overarching thought. And here’s a disorganized list of things I absolutely cannot get over about it (they don’t form any kind of argument, mind, they just all happen to live rent free in my head):

- Celine is first taken in by Jamie being an idiot (specifically him claiming not to speak French, in perfect French); likewise, her entrance in the scene where they actually kiss is marked with a little anecdote about her hat getting stuck on a doornail and her scolding it as she attempts to fix her un-tameable appearance, and the narration says Celine “would often clown for Jamie like this” - all of which, while undeniably adorable, don’t exactly strike me as entirely original traits to have been assigned to Jamie’s love-interest (but also Celine is so cool and her perspective on film/media/time is an excellent addition to the long list of dr who characters)

- When they’re in the present, describing Jamie’s relationship with Celine in 1908, they call him her “companion” and highlight his going nearly everywhere with her, which earns a laugh from the 4th doctor (and me as well, though probably for slightly different reasons - but like, is that really all it takes to have a fling with someone in 60′s era who? bc if so...)

- Celine’s ex-fiance is still in love with her and is jealously watching when she kisses Jamie ... and then the Doctor appears beside him, evidently doing the exact. same. thing. They have the following conversation:

“You know, it’s not prudent to spy on people. But then, people in pain can’t be expected to act prudently.”

“Pain, monsieur? You mistake me.”

“Ah, do I? Good, because I rather thought you’d lost something.”

“What would you know about loss monsieur?”

- I’m sorry doc but who do you think you are, saying stuff like that and smiling sadly at the floor to boot? I 100% had to pause it here the first time I listened, just to not throw my laptop across the room. 

- Then when I recovered continued, the Doctor closes the door so they can’t watch anymore and explains “Possessing things comes so terribly easily to some men that losing them can feel cruel, intolerably cruel. In my experience, only the very best of men cannot be tempted to answer that cruelty with more - I do sincerely hope that you are the best of men.” (guess who gets described as the best of men by the end of the audio?)

- Jamie and the Doctor apparently develop a habit of walking along the river in Paris in silence

- During one such walk, Jamie suggests Celine come with them since she already figured out about the Tardis - and when the Doctor’s worried by this, he says he only allowed Jamie & Celine to grow closer “because of Victoria.” Jamie takes offense at the ‘allowing it’ comment and also refuses to admit he knows what the Doctor means about Victoria, which leads the Doctor to say that he knows how fond Jamie was of her - he was too, of course, but with him, “it was different, wasn’t it?” Jamie only says maybe that’s true and maybe that’s not, but his voice catches until he changes the subject

- Jamie doesn’t see Celine for days both times that she’s recovering from the shock and depression of her work being destroyed. In contrast, when the Doctor’s not well, Jamie’s "afraid” and “guilty” and hardly seems to leave his side at all, if his being there “rushing to embrace him” the second he wakes up - after a period Jamie describes as “at least a week” - is anything to go by, anyway. so either bf writers need to learn how to write a committed straight relationship or admit that’s not what they ever intended in the first place

- Oh yeah, and the Doctor spends that week "asleep” in Jamie’s bedroom - no, there’s no explanation as to if that’s where he was when he first collapsed or if it’s where Jamie decided to take him bc why would they feel the need to explain him being there? why was it even relevant to tell us it was Jamie’s room in the first place?

- The Doctor somehow manages to control the Tardis enough to take Celine on one trip to an alien planet and then return to the correct time & place for her to use the footage she recorded there in her new film - and while the audio doesn’t do very much to explain how that was possible, it does treat this as A Pretty Big Deal, and immediately afterward the Doctor has to spend a week communing with his past self (and/or the Tardis?) debating how likely it is that the Time Lords could use this to trace him. When he decides it’s not worth the risk and they have to stop the film from ever being shown to the public, Jamie asks why he agreed to it in the first place, and all he can say is “Because, Jamie, you asked me to!” earning awkward stares from the crowd.

- Oh, but, lest we forget, that little outburst is also immediately followed by him putting his arm around Jamie’s shoulders, and, shockingly, apparently beginning to actually explain the truth about the danger from the Time Lords - until they’re interrupted, of course idk why exactly but the idea of a 60s dr wanting to come clean with a companion but not being allowed to bc the show demands the war games be something of a reveal hurts me in a very good way

- The mental image of “the Doctor and Jamie, resplendent in borrowed evening wear”

- The audio admitting that Jamie’s not very good at subterfuge, and the Doctor asking if he’s going to be alright with them having to steal the film back from Celine - and Jamie’s little “Aye, Doctor” as he feels a ‘glass arrow piercing his chest’ glad to see bf is reading all my letters about exactly how i feel any time something sad happens to james robert mccrimmon

- The Doctor’s anxious to get out of there for obvious reasons, but he hangs around bc Jamie wants to see Celine again - which doesn’t happen, because of her aforementioned shock & depression, but she does leave Jamie a note that ends “you and that Doctor of yours - look after him Jamie, he loves you dearly, as do I.” yeah, if you didn’t want people to draw a parallel there, you could’ve picked, like, any other wording in the world.

- In case you weren’t fully convinced I’ve been reading too much into this whole audio already, consider this: Celine dies in Long Island in 1968, three days before her birthday - 1968 is when this story would’ve taken place in the show’s history (between Fury & Wheel), and dying three days before/after a birthday in America seems a bit... well I had some deja vu from it, anyway

- Four of all people being the one to bring back the film - I know he does it bc Sarah Jane makes him, but personally, I often feel like despite the length of his run, 4 is the Doctor with which we might’ve gotten the fewest glimpses into his interiority, so the fact that it’s him and not one of the more overtly sentimental Doctors makes it feel like it carries even more weight somehow, to me anyway. I think I wrote a post saying roughly the same thing about 4 & Fate of Krelos/Return to Telos but maybe I only did that inside my own head lol. Still, I’m all for any opportunities for Jamie to be one of the few characters to draw some noticeable emotion out of Four, but in fairness I haven’t touched too much of his EU stuff to really be able to compare the frequency with which this happens with other past companions

- Is Four referring to Two or Jamie when he says he got the film from “an old family friend”? Two did the actual stealing, but he probably means Jamie’s involvement - either way, it’s an interesting way of describing old companions - or selves?

- When Jemima goes to call Jamie a thief, Four is “roused” to defend him: “he really was the very best of men” again, any time four freely shows he cares about someone, im over the moon about it

- Oh ha ha, there’s an audio called “Deleted Scenes” featuring the Doctor who’s most affected by junked episodes. And at the end of it, a character who’s spent her life researching and lecturing about a lost film gets to watch it be ‘rediscovered’ after it’s gone unseen for decades. I feel marginally less stupid for reading into the other details of a story like this when it ends up deciding to be to be clever & slightly meta like that

But yeah

all in all, it’s kind of amazing to me that this genuinely reads like they sat down and said okay boys it’s valentines day, let’s write an audio where jamie kisses a girl, since that hasn’t happened except as a plot device in one story in 1967 - but then when they got down to business they accidentally(?) wrote a story all about how important his bond with the Doctor is and how easily that can be compared to a legitimate love interest (even if the love interest in question is a one off character & the extent of the relationship appears to be like one kiss & then having Jamie spend most of his time around the Doctor instead)

I realize there’s something slightly illogical about writing the words “shipping aside” after a post like this but seriously - no matter how many categories you’re able to see two & jamie’s relationship fitting into, this is 40 minutes of big finish just hitting you over the head with how powerful/special/important that relationship is, and with them being two of my favorite characters, i really haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Strangers (Part 4)

Summary: Sam has returned into Dean’s life for some reason and the reader is there to try and help Dean through having Sam around again...

Masterlist

Pairing: Doctor!Dean x patient!reader

Word Count: 2,000ish

Warnings: language, mention of surgery/injury

A/N: I hope you enjoy!

____

“Hi,” said Sam, giving you a quick wave. He stared at Dean who was already on his feet. “I need a place to crash for the night. If that’s okay.”

“What happened to the apartment, you were sharing with that girl, Jessica.”

“She died a few years ago,” he said.

“You kill her?” asked Dean. You got up, still holding your box of swiss rolls and Sam frowned. “You’ve been out of touch for three years. It’s not an unreasonable question.”

“I didn’t kill her,” said Sam. “I saw...it was a serial arsonist. I saw who did it and he ran with a bad group. I’ve been in witness-”

“Witness protection? Are you serious? I’m the fucking easter bunny while we’re at it,” said Dean.

“De, I think he’s telling the truth,” you said, nodding towards him. “He’s obviously upset.”

“You’ve been in witness protection? This whole time?”

“Yes,” said Sam. “Things have been happening lately. A lot of things. These guys are no longer a problem so I can come home. Except for the fact I don’t have a home anymore and had to drop out of college.”

“I filed a missing persons report on you.”

“I know.”

“I hung up flyers, search parties, fundraisers.”

“I know.”

“I drove to the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night because I thought I got a tip about you.”

“That was me. I had to relocate after that.”

“I looked for you for so long. Even when mom and dad gave up, I didn’t. There was no foul play but the cops told us it was unlikely we’d ever find you. You probably walked out and didn’t want to be found. I was so angry at you. They told us you were dead cause someone hurt you or you walked away. Those are two very different things,” said Dean. You dropped the box on the couch and grabbed his hand, Dean pinching his nose with his other. 

“I can leave if you want,” said Sam.

“Don’t you fucking dare,” said Dean. You rubbed his back and he walked over, giving his brother a hug.

“Finally got a girlfriend?” teased Sam as he returned it.

“You two are gonna get along great. You can swap stories,” laughed Dean. “Oh, I need a drink. Also how’d you get in my house?”

“My handler had a key made. They took it from your locker at the hospital,” he said.

“Lovely.”

“I know it sounds…” said Sam as he glanced at you. 

“Crazy is kind of our thing,” you said. “I’m Y/N.”

“You look familiar,” he said.

“My ex boyfriend tried to kill me. With bleach. In my drink.”

“Oh yeah. He was fucking nuts,” said Sam.

“Yup. That’s been our fun for the evening,” you said. “He got out. He’s dead now. It’s fine. Better than fine cause I’m gonna eat a whole box of swiss rolls and not feel bad about that.”

“Yeah, I will get along with you just fine,” said Sam, giving Dean a look. “Not sure about you though. I wanted to-”

“S’okay,” he said. “I’m just...happy you don’t hate me after all.”

“I wanted to call you so many times. It was too dangerous though. I couldn’t put you in that position,” said Sam.

“I’m getting kind of used to that,” said Dean. Sam smiled and you walked over to them both. 

“I crashed date night, didn’t I,” he said.

“Just a bit,” said Dean.

“Well I am really happy to meet Dean’s little brother,” you said, giving him a hug. “You don’t mind if Sam hangs out with us, right?”

“No, never. As long as you’re cool with it,” said Dean. 

“Of course,” you said.

“I appreciate it but honestly I’m wrecked. I could use with a shower and a bed,” said Sam.

“The guest room is right down the hall,” said Dean, pointing the way. “You hungry?”

“Nah. I’ll keep out of your guys hair,” said Sam. “Thanks.”

“It’s no problem,” said Dean. Sam started to head for the hallway when Dean grabbed his arm. “I’m really happy you’re home, Sammy.”

“Me too.”

He smiled before he left, Dean taking a deep breath as he locked up the front door again.

“So you got a brother,” you said.

“Yeah. I probably should have brought him up at some point,” said Dean. You shrugged and rested your hands on his hips, Dean smiling softly. “I thought he was dead.”

“I’m glad he’s not,” you said. “I’m gonna have to back out on the being roommates thing though.”

“What?” he asked.

“Sam needs it way more than I do. I can stick around my parents until my apartment is ready. Seriously, it’s okay. He’s gonna need a lot of help. Trust me. He’s gonna want you,” you said.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. My parents aren’t that bad. Someday we can be roommates though?” you said.

“Okay. I’ll take a raincheck for now,” he smiled. 

“Tonight’s not so bad,” you said. He nodded and you pulled him close to your body, Dean’s arms wrapping lazily around you. “You doing okay?”

“I’ve been the happiest I’ve ever been in my life, the most terrified I’ve ever been in my life and the most relieved I’ve ever been in my life tonight. I honestly don’t know where to begin,” said Dean.

“I got a box of chocolate with your name on it that might be a good place to start.”

“That sounds like a good plan,” he said. “You okay too?”

“My night’s ending on a good note. I’m good Dean. Let’s get back to our date. I was in the middle of cuddling you if I remember.”

One Week Later

“Howdy handsome,” you said, the elevator doors at the hospital opening to Dean standing there in his navy scrubs.

“Gorgeous,” he said, giving you a quick kiss as he stepped on. “You already have your follow up with Mace?”

“Yeah. I am progressing well I guess. We’re switching my immunosuppressant to try something that doesn’t make me as tired and won’t make me as susceptible to illness,” you said.

“That’s good. I know you’re on the strong stuff right now. Mace is pretty good about finding the right med combo by the second or third try,” he said. “Transplant meds are tricky.”

“I’ve learned. How’s your day going?” you asked. “Saving lives?”

“Easy going day. Took out some tonsils on a teenager, did an appendectomy on a toddler, did a bone reset on a kid that broke her leg. Nothing they won’t all recover from 100% percent.”

“That sounds good,” you said. “When do you get off?”

He snickered and you whacked his arm.

“Such a boy,” you said.

“I have one more surgery for the day but I’m heading home after that. Our parents are coming into town. They’ve been in Florida cause their vacation plans got screwed up with the pandemic last year so they rescheduled and of course it’s this week and there’s tropical storms so they can’t get a flight out and they finally are getting home today. It’s been a nightmare. I’m supposed to cook dinner so that’ll go wonderfully.”

“You’re a good cook!” you said as the doors opened and you walked with him down the hall. “You don’t give yourself enough credit. They excited to see Sam?”

“Yeah. They feel bad about...they thought he was dead. Like it hasn’t been long enough to legally declare him that way but they were going to. I’ve always had a somewhat tense relationship with my dad. We fought a lot about Sam after he disappeared.”

“I think no matter what happened before, dinner’s gonna go good for you guys tonight,” you said.

“You’re coming right?” he asked. 

“You want me to?”

“Yeah. I...you make me feel...safe,” he said as he stopped walking. You smiled and grabbed his hand, lacing your fingers together. “You don’t have-”

“I’d love to. I really like Sam and I want to be there for you. I like that I make you feel safe, makes me feel good,” you said. He rubbed the back of his neck but you caught the smile on his face. You gave him another kiss, a whistle coming from further down the hall.

“Get a room, Winchester,” said a guy as he walked by with a laugh.

“Better be a soundproof room,” you said, the guy stopping in his tracks.

“Okay, I approve of this one,” the guy chuckled. Dean rolled his eyes but he was biting down a laugh.

“Y/N, this is RN. Lafetite or Benny as well call him. He’s Donna’s boyfriend,” said Dean.

“Oh yeah, she was great,” you said. “She removed my appendix.”

“That woman knows her way around a blade,” said Benny. “You had the digestive transplant done a while ago, right?”

“Yeah,” you said, Dean making a face beside you.

“Badass,” said Benny. “I worked with Mace some on you.”

“You’re a surgeon too?” you asked.

“No, no. I’m a surgical nurse,” he said.

“They’re pretty important,” said Dean. “The really good ones could perform minor surgeries themselves like Ben. I keep trying to convince Benny here to go to med school and join the rest of us.”

“Oh you know you’d miss me too much, Deano. You me and Novak are the dream team of pediatrics,” he said.

“Sure we are,” said Dean with a laugh. “Y/N and I were having a little get together on Sunday, watch a little football, food. Round up the usual suspects?”

“I can get the crew together. I’ll bring my beer dip and some of those pretzels. Very easy on the digestive system,” said Benny to you.

“That’s considerate,” you said. “It’s okay. I’m alright with most stuff. I just got to watch the grease a bit.”

“These are really not greasy at all. I’ll give you the recipe sometime,” said Benny as his phone went off. “I think we’re late for pre-op.”

“When are we not?” said Dean. “I’ll see you tonight, sweetheart.”

“See you later, Dean.”

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” said Dean that night as he rushed in the house. You and Sam were working the kitchen, Dean checking the clock. “They’re gonna be here in five minutes.”

“Go wash up. Sam and I can cook a few pieces of chicken and make mashed potatoes,” you said. You were nearly finished anyways, the chicken baking away in the oven. Dean made a thud down the hall but shouted back that he was fine before you heard the bathroom door shut. “He always been a worrier?”

“Pretty much,” said Sam as he got out the plates. “He seems different. Good different. More easy going.”

“It’s all I’ve ever known from him so I don’t have much to go off of,” you said. 

“You might have something to do with it,” he said. He smiled and finished up with setting the table. “You’ve never met our parents Dean said.”

“No. We’ve only been together a few months,” you said.

“This’ll be an interesting evening then,” said Sam as the doorbell rang. He suddenly looked nervous and you rubbed a hand up and down his back.

“It’ll be okay,” you said. “Trust me.”

“I see why he likes you,” said Sam. “Here goes nothing.”

______

A/N: Read Part 5 here!

[lovelivingmydreams]

Paper Flowers: By any other name

Happy New year! I’m back with the fifth chapter. Other chapters are listed in the master post under Paper Flowers.

Thomas gets tmakes a fun youtube Video. Patton thinks there might be a breakthrough with Virgil. And Roman gets a surprise.

Thomas and Joan are sitting down at Joan’s kitchen table for a youtube video.

Earlier that week Thomas had sent out a tweet to ask the Fanders to send in questions and links for them to react to.

The video was a lot of fun so far. They saw cute dog video’s, inspiring coming out video’s, and then there was the artwork inspired by his vine stuff. Some fanders made misleading complement themed cards, and there were cute drawings of his teacher and dad character. And of course there was that stainglass/yingyang drawing of the Prince and his nemesis.

“This is just amazing, you guys are all so talented.” He gushes, not for the first time as he studies the gorgeous detailing on the latter. This must’ve taken hours and he can’t get over the fact that something he did inspired that.

The questions were fun to answer too. What subject is teacher’s favorite? What is Dad’s favorite cookie? What was the funniest interaction he’d ever had after a storytime? Some serious ones too. How did Joan know they were non binary?

What made him decide to come out as gay to his Christian parents? How did he know it was the right time?

Is it hard being out and proud while being a public figure?

Tips on how to handle social anxiety.

“Okay, final question, I peeked on this one,” Joan admitted, making Thomas let out a dramatic scandalized gasp. “I wanted to make sure we’d end the video on a fun note. Go on read it.”

Joan is chuckling already, so Thomas quickly reads the comment.

“Thomas love your content! But the people need to know. Is it Marcus or Kevin?”

Thomas frowns in confusion. There is a link and when he clicks on it he is brought to a long reblog chain on tumblr. He quickly reads through the first few posts and snorts.

“Oh My Goodness, that is just amazing!” he squeals in delight. He loves that the fanders are so enthusiastic about those two. And from what he can tell both ‘armies’ are battling it out in good fun.

“Well, I can’t confirm, nor deny either name at this time. But I think he’d very much approve of the one his faithful minions have chosen for him. Personally I do think Kevin would be hilarious though.”

Joan chuckles and nods in agreement.

“We might learn the dark overlord’s true name someday,” Thomas smiles. “But for now, take it easy guys galls and non-binary palls. Peace out!”

“Are you quite done Princey?” Virgil huffed. Roman had been laughing nonstop since Thomas heard about the debate going on in the Fanders comunity.

“Sorry. I’ll stop. Honestly it’s not that funny. Please do forgive me… Kevin,” And just like that he was doubled over again. Virgil groaned in annoyance.

“Okay, okay, I’m done. I honestly didn’t mean to. You can’t always help it when you laugh though. And you must admit it is a little funny,” Roman said once he got a hold of himself, whipping the mirth out of his eyes.

“What’s all this commotion about?” Patton wondered as he entered the commons.

Virgil tensed up. Patton had been… Different lately. He’d been checking if Virgil took enough food when he ate in his room, and that he ate everything when Roman coaxed him into eating with the others. He knocked more often to check if Virgil had laundry to be done, or to tell him that it was time for him to go to bed. He was taking this whole dad thing a little too seriously.

And some part of Virgil wanted to just accept and appreciate the effort, but the other kept wondering why Patton was doing all that for him when he clearly wanted him to just move back downstairs already.

It was in the little things. The way Patton would tense when he entered the room. How he would hesitate before smiling at him or greeting him. The way his voice wavered when he asked him stuff. And sometimes Patton would say stuff like “I don’t care how Deceit does things, but up here we…” Insert whatever rule Patton was trying to get Virgil to accept.

Honestly. He didn’t mind doing chores. Even if it was redundant when you can just will stuff to be clean. He didn’t mind making an appearance in the commons once a day either. Patton had just jumped from not involving him in anything into expecting him to fight him on everything.

Sure he’d roll his eyes and huff a little, but he wasn’t that difficult. Patton clearly expected him to be though. Perhaps even expected him to get tired of the rules and leave.

The problem was, Virgil had actually tried a few times in the beginning, and he couldn’t go back downstairs. Not really. Not for more than a visit when Thomas was asleep. The rest of the time, he was stuck in the in between only able to go to the upper commons.

Virgil’s best guess at how this worked was that Thomas had acknowledged his existence, but was still trying to push him down most of the time.

It’d been Janus’ decision to reveal this truth, when Virgil had been triggered into a panic attack one morning out of seemingly nowhere. Janus and Remus had been very calm that day and that had been exactly what had made Virgil worry that something big was coming. Janus realized this was not a healthy environment for him. So he lifted the denial on Thomas’ anxiety and told Patton and the others that Virgil would be living with them from now on.

Next thing Virgil knew his room was moved up, just not all the way.

He wasn’t sure, but he felt like he’d gotten closer to the upper level since he and Roman became friends. Logan didn’t seem to care one way or another. So that left Patton as the one to push him down right?

Virgil closed his eyes to calm his reeling thoughts for a moment. He couldn’t get swept up by his own head when in public. Princey got it by now, but how would he explain this to Patton.

“Oh, hello Padre. Kevin and I were just discussing the latest video and…”

Then Virgil found himself crouching on the kitchen counter ready for an attack. Patton’s high pitched squeal had been unexpected and terrifying.

Roman, once he recovered from his own surprise, moved a little closer to Virgil, putting himself in between him and the perceived danger. It helped calming him down a lot faster and adjust his position to look more casual and less terrified.

Patton was still squealing and clapping. It seemed like he had missed Virgil’s panicked reaction.

“Your name is Kevin?” he gushed.

“No,” Virgil objected immediately. Holding up both hands in a stop sign.

“That’s just one of the names the fanders gave the villain character. Princey thinks he’s hilarious for calling me that,” he explained.

Patton deflated. “Oh… Well, it’s nice the fanders enjoy your character so much,” he smiled awkwardly. Virgil suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. He wanted to get out of here, like now.

“Padre! You just must see the gorgeous artwork this fander did about the prince!” Roman declared as he grabbed Patton by the arm and led him away.

Virgil finally fully relaxed. Roman was really pulling through on every level.

Protecting him from Patton’s parenting, deflecting Logan’s tough questions, and even making Virgil feel appreciated. Whenever Virgil had had a rough day of keeping Thomas safe, Roman would come find him in the field and just hang with him, humming his favorite music, set up one of his favorite movies with him, telling him stories of his grand adventures. Just hanging out. Once they did each other’s nails. That was a lot of fun. Virgil had actually quit nailbiting  all together because he didn’t want to ruin them.

At first Roman had tried gifts and lavish praise, but that did not sit well with Virgil. He panicked over not being able to live up to the praise or give good gifts in return. And Roman listened and adapted.

Virgil in turn had been trying to give Roman verbal praise whenever he did something nice for him, or did a good job with Thomas. It was hard for Virgil to say this stuff out loud though.

Virgil entered his room trying to think of a way to thank Roman for today without making it awkward for the both of them.

His eye fell on some purple craft paper. One of Roman’s early gifts. He’d thought that maybe Virgil might enjoy creating things to take his mind of off his worries every once in a while.

Virgil had never really found a good project to use it for… But now.

When Roman got back to his room after bidding Patton a good day he could feel a slow rhythmic knock on his door. They never agreed on a code, but he could tell that this was just Virgil trying to get his attention, but that he could take his time if needed.

He decided to note down his new idea for a Vine first so he wouldn’t lose it. When he opened the door, Virgil was nowhere to be seen. Not that Roman noticed right away, he was far too focused on the purple paper rose hanging from the doorframe by a piece of yarn.

It was clearly hand crafted. Which must have taken Virgil quite some effort. He carefully untied the flower and brought it to his room where he put it on his vanity in a little vase.

He smiled softly at the little token of appreciation. A friendship with the emo knight wasn’t always easy to navigate. But it was definitely worth it.

He picked up the idea again, confident it would be another hit.

The dark overlord scowled at the bright morning sky. "Curse you, eternal sun." He turns his attention to the star map on the table in front of him "and every single one of you stars." He raised a picture of the solar system and glared. "And to hell with all you planets! I hate you all!" Then he dramatically turned and picked up a small ball resembling a certain non-planet. "Except for you,” he says softly stroking the ball delicately as if to comfort it. “You get me. You may stay."

Next: everyone falls

[irontinystar]

hi! i was wondering if you’d recommend other authors that you enjoy or even specific fanfics you like? i’ve only just started getting into the steve/tony fandom and want to follow more people! thank you!

Hi there!!! Welcome to the fandom!!!<3<3<3

I’m so glad you asked this question since I’ve always wanted to do a fic rec post!!!!

HERE WE GO:

10K+ WORDS (ONE CHAPTER) FICS:

Quit while you’re ahead by magicasen

“It began, as things tend to between them, as a bet.”

the reason you ruminate the shadowy past by Mizzy

“So, Captain America effectively manages to cockblock Tony for a year.

It's not Steve's fault. Well, actually, it is. But he was just proving a point - that if a superhero is gay, how can it be wrong? Steve just picked the wrong superhero to make the point with. Now America will think they're dating - and Tony's not going to be the guy to break Captain America's heart.

There's only one way out. To save face, Steve and Tony have to become fake boyfriends. Steve thinks the "boyfriends" bit will be the hardest to act... but maybe it's the "fake" part that will be the hardest act of all...”

made to make you blue by gottalovev

“Steve, drunk for the first time since the serum, hits on Tony. It's everything Tony's ever dreamt about, but he refuses to have sex with a drunk Steve who can't truly consent. They do kiss, though, and Tony stays the night. The morning after brings a misunderstanding of disastrous proportion, where both men wrongly assume the other is uninterested. Life gets extremely complicated when Enchantress, mad at Thor, casts a spell that links people who love each other together, letting them feel the other's pain.”

On the Turning Away by thegraytigress

“Tony's new relationship with Steve is going great. They're a few weeks into it, and it's utterly amazing. He's feeling better and more sure of himself than he ever has before. Honestly, he's flying high.

But then he asks Steve a simple, logical, and seemingly innocent question: "do you want to spend the night?" And everything comes crashing down.”

love the sin, love the sinner by silkspectred

“It keeps happening. Not often, just once or twice a month, but it keeps happening. Always in the same way: it’s unplanned, sudden, unexpected, Steve is surprised and eager, his dick goes from zero to one hundred in two seconds, Tony’s touch is electric, everything he does drives Steve crazy, but he never lets Steve kiss him, he very rarely looks Steve in the eye, he never talks, never makes a sound when he comes, never mentions it later.”

Of Beards and Best Defenders by nannersmelo

“Tony finds out about when Steve had a beard once upon a time, and outraged that he never got to see it, decides to find a way to witness it by himself.”

Tony Pretends To Date Steve (Until He Doesn't Have To) by HappyStony

“"You alright?"

Of course he was not alright! Tony had a blue eyed, blond haired, six foot too high, two hundred who knows what pound, too sexy for his own good ninety something, mentally twenty, year old man on top of him. Who even asks that question in a situation like that?

Or: Basically the title. Tony pretends he's dating Steve until...well, you know.”

i have found the one (whom my soul loves) by soniclipstick (veriscence)

“It's been months since the Avengers were pardoned. One by one, they'd all gone home, until Steve finds himself alone in the grand old building T'Challa had given them.

But everything changes when Steve answers the doorbell, and Tony Stark strides in with more grey on his temple and make-up on his face than Steve remembers.”

Hating Steve Rogers by nanasekei

“The thing about hating Steve Rogers is that it shouldn’t be easy - but it really, really is.”

we have become something different, beloved (tragic and lovely) by Areiton, venusiaries

“"What's the Accords?" he asks, and Tony's head tilts. "I don't think that concerns you," he says. "But you don't deny that it's something." "There's a lot of something's I'm involved in that you don't know about," Tony says.

~~~~

There's a story, years long and publicly known, about the way the Avengers ended and why. And then there is the truth, carefully hidden and protected.”

remedy by quidhitch

““I like the walls,” Steve shrugs, knocking his knuckles against the side as if to demonstrate. “Makes me feel covered.”

A soldier in a fortress, Tony thinks, which is a pretty ridiculous thought to have about Captain America and his enormous limbs stuffed into a too-small bathtub, but there it is.

Or: Tony Stark learns a thing or two about what it means to be In Recovery™.”

Binary System by Annie D (scaramouche) ( @no-gorms )

“Tony tends to be tactile with people he trusts. These days that list of people includes Steve, which is a good sign of the progression of their friendship. For his part, Steve seems to enjoy it as much as Tony does... until Tony goes a little too far.”

The Best Policy by starknjarvis

“Tony Stark breezes through life on bluster and bullshit. When he gets hit by a truth spell, he locks himself away in his workshop so he can find a way to reverse it without anyone finding out. So why can't he say no when Steve keeps asking to spend time with him?”

Slipping off the Page into Your Hands by Sineala ( @sineala )

“Soulmates have their first words to each other written on their wrists. This should make it easy. For Steve and Tony, it is anything but. Steve's problem is that the future he has awoken into is nothing he was ever expecting: he has a soulmate now. Who might be a robot. And if his soulmate is Iron Man, how can he be so attracted to Tony Stark? It should be impossible. Tony's problem is that he is Iron Man, his soulmate is a man whom he in no way deserves, and he is going to fight everything in his heart and do his best to make sure Steve never, ever finds out the whole truth.”

How to Win Affection Without Really Trying by Annie D (scaramouche)

“Tony almost dies saving Steve’s life, but that’s just part of being an Avenger. It’s no reason for Steve to get all weird and intense around him afterward.”

A Certain Affinity by miobambiino ( @miobambiino )

“"They were like that a lot nowadays, ever since they got back from their little kidnapping escapade. Sure, they’d been close before then - they all had - but now… it was different. They were close, close. Squishing up next to each other, whispering to one another, playing with each others hair, apparently.

Steve inwardly grimaced at himself. He was being bitter and petty, he knew that. But he couldn’t figure out why, though. His teammates were getting along, which is only a good thing. Especially considering how they started things off way back on the helicarrier. But since when were Tony and Nat this cosy?"

Aka Steve is jealous of Tony and Nat's friendship, gets the wrong idea, and requires a little help from Nat herself to get some well-needed perspective.”

Admiring the Scenery by Annie D (scaramouche)

“Steve’s used to people checking him out, but when Tony does it, it feels… different.”

Symmetry Breaking by Annie D (scaramouche)

“After the Battle of New York, Steve rode off on his motorbike. That's how it went the first time.

This time he rides back, all the way to Stark Tower, where he asks Tony for help.”

MULTICHAPTERS FICS:

almeno tu nell'universo by silkspectred

“Tony drives off.

Well, he wants to.

But he can’t.

Because.

Steve Rogers is in front of his car.

Steve fucking Rogers. Is in front of Tony’s fucking car.”

take my heart clean apart by mistymountainking

“He’s tired, so tired of waiting, tired of touches with no meaning, tired of holding his breath when Steve’s in the room, tired of keeping this love to himself.

“I can’t—I can’t, if you don’t mean it.”

***

Tony comes home exhausted after an SI event. Steve acts as welcoming committee. It's an old, careworn routine they've perfected over the years, but tonight ends up going in a very different direction.”

Thrust Issues by Sineala

“A battle gone wrong leads Tony to the unexpected and pleasant discovery that Steve is much more well-endowed than he could ever have imagined. But when Tony learns that Steve has never actually been able to sleep with anyone because of his size, Tony does what any good friend would do: he offers to relieve Steve of his virginity. Personally. Tony's determined, Tony's methodical, and Tony has a plan. He's going to get Steve laid. Tony just needs to make sure Steve never finds out that Tony's in love with him.”

Overhaul by Annie D (scaramouche)

“Steve knows that Tony has feelings for him and, since he doesn’t return those feelings, has been mildly dreading the day that Tony decides to do something about it. When that day finally arrives, Steve discovers that Tony’s wooing strategy isn’t anything at all like he’d expected.”

Whatever Makes You Happy by WilmaKins ( @wilmakins )

“Steve and his team never stopped Avenging. So when T'Challa tells them about strange events at the site of an ancient landmark, everything seems quite simple. Of course they'll help Shuri to investigate it - helping people is what they do, after all.

Until they discover that a race of alien empaths are harvesting human emotions as a source of power. Specifically, they're using the misery of one Tony Stark.

So, until they work out what's really going on, the fate of the world might depend on them keeping Tony happy.

Not simple. Not simple at all.

Set six months after CA:CW.”

a catalog of non-definitive acts by firebrands ( @firebrands )

“Tony's seen the way Steve watches him, trails after him just for a moment, then catches himself. Let it never be said that Tony Stark doesn’t pay attention. At least, when it matters.

*

Or, Steve, Tony, and the emotional fallout of keeping secrets. (Set in some nebulous time pre-AoU.)”

The Single Biggest Problem With Communication by BlossomsintheMist

“In the wake of Steve's return from the dead and the end of Norman Osborn's reign of terror, the superhero community is recovering--Steve has taken on a new role and Tony is trying to put his life back together. Things are still awkward between them, but they're determined to put things to rights. But when a discussion about their feelings leads to further misunderstandings, they discover that might be more difficult than either of them realized. Set in the early Heroic Age after the end of Dark Reign, this is a get-together story about crossed wires--and second chances.”

Broken by livink ( @anthonyed )

“After Siberia, Tony Stark faces depression, a giant purple alien and a forced reunion. Ironically, he feels as if he's the only one who is broken in this journey. Until he comes across Barnes. Then, Bruce, Natasha and Wanda. Later, he realises that the man who broke him is broken too and this is a story where they heal and find their footings back.”

wonderland by Areiton

“Six weeks after being abandoned in Siberia, Tony wakes in a Tower, next to the man who broke his heart and his trust. But the world--whatever Wonderland world they’ve landed in--isn’t like their own. The Avengers are happy here. Tony and Steve are married here. With a direct line to Steve’s emotions and the team that he’s always wanted--Tony is more than a little tempted to stay. Seeing how happy Tony is, how healthy Bucky is--Steve doesn’t disagree. But there are cracks in Wonderland and the shiny paint peeling might leave a nightmare behind--one that Tony and Steve will need each other more than ever, to escape.”

when i run out of road, you bring me home by quidhitch

““Oh, I won’t bother you.” The tone of Steve’s voice implies that he definitely will be bothering Tony, aggressively and frequently. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll keep to my farm, you keep to yours. Solitude together.”

Tony opens his mouth to argue that that’s not how this works, but he snaps it shut at the realization that Steven Grant Rogers is fucking with him. That twinkle in his eye has accelerated into a full-on glimmer, and the ends of his lips are twitching. Jesus, he hates this man. Or maybe he wishes he did. Tony can’t really tell the difference anymore.”

Down in Lonesome Town by resurrectedhippo

“Tony eyes him. “Why do I always find my way back to you?”

Maybe he didn’t necessarily return to Steve, but fate is a funny little thing, and after living a life of loss, Steve wants something that’s his to keep. Tony deserves a love that’s unrestrained; Steve thinks he’ll erupt with it.

Love is messy, not easy, and takes work.

Maybe love feels like rage.

But maybe love could just be jumping off a rocky mountain and smiling anyway.

After the universe is restored, Steve is lost without any direction. Retiring from the Avengers, he moves across the country and ends up building a house by a misty blue lake. Across the bridge is Tony Stark’s new workshop.”

In the Stillness of Remembering by elise_509

“Steve Rogers is a reminder of a past that Tony Stark would rather forget. But when Steve’s own ghosts suddenly become the present, Tony finds he and Steve need each other to face the future.”

Good For You by orbingarrow

“Steve doesn't understand why Tony dates people who abuse him. Tony doesn't understand why Steve cares.

The rest is bad choices, good choices, rehab, milkshakes, paintball, YouTube videos, couples therapy and learning to put the past in the past. Or: How Tony finds his happy ending.”

SERIES:

Pulse-Point by itsallAvengers

Guys and Bots by Annie D (scaramouche)

AUTHORS:

I love very deeply each author of the fics I’ve listed, but these are the main blogs I follow here on tumblr who regularly post 1K (more or less) words fic:

@omg-just-peachy

@no-gorms

@maguna-stxrk

@natasharxmanov

@s-horne

@firebrands

@iam93percentstardust

@anthonyed

@ad1thi

@littlemissstark

@chirriko

@tinytonysnark

(Plus self-spam: MrsWinterBreath , my own ao3 profile!)

Lastly, check @sabrecmcstonyficrecs blog by @sabrecmc who is not only an extremely talented writer themself, but also incredibly patient and kind enough to offer masterposts with fics about any Stony trope you could ever think of!!!

This is a non-exhaustive list because there are a LOT more authors out there that deserve their works to be read, so I suggest you giving it a chance even to fics and authors you’ve never heard of, you might find a masterpiece without even realising it!!!!

And most importantly: always leave a kudos and comment if you liked what you read, this way I guarantee you the authors will be more than happy to keep on providing you with amazing works!!!!

[handonhaven]

I'm a little ticked off right now. Because when it comes to Hope this is a reacuring thing. That Hope can never feel what she's feeling or deal with it how she needs to. Like for this weeks episode it said "Josie attempts to control Hopes emotions....." 😡 I'm sorry but what. Have much you wanna bet this episode either takes place the morning after the break or a day or two after. And why is Josie trying to control Hopes emotions in the first place?(I mean look how long it took Josie to get over Penelope. And we don't even know how long they were broken for at the start of season 1). How is that even in the realm of okay to try and control what someone is feeling. And it was just released what 3x16 is going to be about. And there was a line that said "Lizzies plan to find Hope a rebound relationship...." 😡😡😡 really Lizzie, really. I know from the end of 3x13 to when 3x16 begins is probably only been like a week an a half, maybe two weeks. Why would Lizzie even make a plan like that. She knows Hope and how much she loves Landon(and does Hope even seem like the type to use someone to help her get over someone else) why would she think Hope would want a rebound or is ready to move on yet.

I mean when will Hopes "friends" learn not to push Hope to move on faster than shes ready to and to just let her feel what she feels and deal with it how she needs to. And imma be even more ticked off if this turns into another thing like when Hope was grieving.

That's not how feelings and emotions work people.

Me too, I’ve just seen the synopsis and stuff about 3x16 and my gosh. (If anyone doesn’t wanna read negativity about Lizzie or Josie, just scroll past this.) Honestly, this all makes me not even wanna watch the next episodes until we can get the last 4. I’ll be watching anyway of course, but I’m just not looking forward to them at all based off of what we know and how the show has always gone. You’re totally right. I cannot believe this keeps happening to Hope. She’s never allowed to feel anything, at least not when it has to do with Landon apparently. Yep, I’m sure the episode will take place right after the breakup, and Hope will be forced to help everyone else again instead of having any time for herself. Because they’ll never let her, or Landon, have even one day to attempt to recover from the trauma they’ve gone through. And yeah, who knows why Josie is trying to control Hope’s emotions. I guess to “help” her, in other words, have an excuse to get her to come help Lizzie when Josie and Alaric should be doing that. Because if Hope takes time for herself and isn’t over Landon immediately, she won’t be able to focus on helping everyone else as usual, and then who will babysit the students and save the day? (Good point about Josie and Penelope as well, I would hope that Josie will be understanding of what Hope is going through.)

But yeah, it’s messed up for anyone to try to control Hope’s emotions, and why on earth does she have to control them? I get if it’s affecting her magic, like in 3x06, and she needs help with that, but otherwise? Just leave her be! She literally just found out that the Landon she’d been with for weeks was fake, had to fight him, believing that the real Landon was gone again, was almost killed by Cleo, then was reunited with the real Landon and learned the truth of what happened, and now she’s heartbroken after their breakup. Realistically, she’d be so traumatized, yet it will all get brushed over and they’ll try to make her get over it immediately, as always. Just let her rest, let her have a day in bed and be able to take care of herself however she needs to. And let her go to New Orleans to be with her family (which is what she should have been doing ever since Landon “died.”) Let Rebekah and Freya and the rest of her family help her, not these kids who clearly don’t really know Hope or how to deal with what she’s been dealing with. (And I know they couldn’t show it without the other actors on the show, but they could at least say that’s where Hope has been.)

And the thing with Lizzie in 3x16 just makes me even more mad. Like, of course she would do that, I shouldn’t even be surprised. Yeah, I’m sure hardly any time will have passed before she does that. Exactly, how is Hope at all the type of person who would want a rebound? Lizzie might be, but Hope? No. Sounds like Lizzie will be pushing Hope to do something she doesn’t want to do and Hope will just be putting up with it again. And yes, Lizzie knows how much Hope loves Landon, not that she cares. I think it’s interesting that when Hope was dealing with her grief, Lizzie did nothing, she just wanted Hope’s help. But now when Hope’s struggles involve relationship drama, something entertaining for Lizzie, she’ll get in Hope’s business about it. It really says it all. And the fact that Landon is off trying to save Hope’s life while dealing with his PTSD, while the twins are apparently just gonna be pushing Hope to do what they want, getting her involved in a cult, trying to get her to start another relationship, and most likely not be of any help to her... wow.

I agree, Hope’s “friends” need to stop doing this to her. I mean, these are the same people who didn’t care at all when Landon had “died.” Lizzie was willing to put him at risk and let him die when there was a chance to save him. Josie didn’t care when he died either. If Hope was written in character when it comes to them, she would not put up with or trust either of them at this point. Especially after how they’ve treated her and Landon, and how they’re gonna continue to treat her, it seems. But because they’re supposed to be Hope’s “friends,” it’s all ignored. I just find it ironic that they said this show was supposed to be about friendship. What kind of friendships are these, I can’t. I just want Hope to have some real friends, ones who will support her and be there for her in the ways that she needs. Not push her to feel how they think she should feel. I won’t be at all surprised if this situation will be similar to when Hope was grieving, I’m expecting it actually. Yeah, it’s seriously not how feelings and emotions work. Idk why they’re writing the characters like this. They shouldn’t throw in serious subjects like death, loss, grief, trauma, heartbreak, etc. to be disregarded by other characters like it’s nothing. And sorry to go off, I’m just so tired.

[engaged19times]

RHONJ Recrap - season 11, ep 1 - C U Next Tuesday!

Greetings fellow prostitution whores and welcome to my new weekly recrap of American institution The Real Housewives of New Jersey! Before I jump in I’ll introduce myself by saying that I’m a housewives super fan (I even watched DC, an experience I wouldn’t wish on my worst sister-in-law), an underemployed comedy writer (I can’t define “napalm” either, Lauren Manzo), and nothing makes me happier than to watch 6 bedazzled hypocrites in Cheesecake Factory mansions argue etiquette and loyalty between physical altercations in the world renowned cultural hub of Paterson, New Jersey. I know essay recaps are a bit of a relic but I am fond of ye olde written word so please enjoy this blast from the past, you scumbags!

We open without fanfare mid-scene to red-eyed Jackie and dead-eyed Teresa sitting in Margaret’s partially finished, wallpaper smothered home. We get the Bad Girls Club black-and-white flashes but unlike in Beverly Hills we’re not flashing to “three months earlier” but instead to “three days earlier.” It might take women of less gumption precious time to build to a production-halting confrontation but it only takes these agents of chaos half a week to get the meatball rolling.

Let’s back up a little to the ominous “three days prior” and catch up with our hot girls. It’s Jackie’s giant hot husband’s 46th birthday so she’s throwing him a party under a tent in the parking lot of a Greek restaurant. We learn that Teresa and Joe’s father has sadly passed in the offseason and Dolores Thee Stallion and Margaret have both had full cosmetic overhauls - Dolores with a second butt enhancement that left her with a giant hip scar rivaled only by Sally from Nightmare before Christmas and Margaret with a boob lift and apparent nipple sharpening (is that a procedure?) that she advertises in a blush silk top with no bra. Never one to be outdone at a parking lot birthday party, Joe Gorga arrives with his storyline - I mean wife, Melissa - also smuggling raisins under a skin tight children’s white T-shirt. Nipples are trending, ladies!

The Nightmare Before Christmas.

A beautiful boob lift.

Tarzan’s headlights.

Margaret’s hot employee Lexi and Teresa’s hot realtor Michelle (both of whom are official friends-of this year), as well as iconic social wrecking ball and Aydin Center for Plastic Surgery mascot Jennifer all saunter in for car park cocktails at this 3D nipple fashion show and as the night devolves we see the cast getting truly shit-housed on shots when out of nowhere storyline sniper Teresa drops the bomb that she heard sexy birthday Bigfoot Evan is cheating on Jackie... more specifically, that he “does stuff” at the gym but mysteriously can’t remember any details or where she heard this head-scratching accusation that draws as many gasps as it does “huhs?” Honest straight people question: do y’all hook up at gyms? And if so, where? Are there co-ed saunas now? Also can one of you explain the allure of Mike and Molly to me? Moving on. Most shocking was that the Perez Hilton of North Jersey doesn’t just drop this wild accusation once, she gleefully skips through this asphalt soiree like a goddamn town crier, addressing everyone she passes like Belle through the town square.

The next day the hard partying crew of Jersey Shore: All Grown Up recovers from their throbbing hangovers and we see cool mom Melissa traipsing through her particle board mausoleum in see-through sweatpants with a visible thong in front of her kids’ friends (you girls keep me young!), Marge Sr. driving a blue Mini Cooper with eyelashes on the headlights (which I assume are like the spinning rims of the Jersey Grandma community), and a flashback of Margaret’s Joe puking next to a tree (relatable, my dude).

Marge Sr.: Fully Loaded.

You girls keep me young!

Over at Jennifer’s palatial child farm we learn that her parents fight so much these days that she moved her father (Carl from Up!) to her multi-generational compound which has only angered her mother more.

Jennifer’s sweet dad.

We then find out Dolores’s dry boyfriend David with whom she shares the burning passion of a melting ice sculpture now lives with her bulging slab of a son Frankie Jr. in the house he and Delores built together but Dolores curiously still lives with her also bulging but slightly slimey ex Frank Sr. in her original house, a near Braunwyn-level web of over-explained but still vague relationship fuckery of which none of them seem on the same page. Dolores hid her surgery from David until the day before, David still works constantly so she hangs out with her ex all the time, and I can’t help but think that we aren’t getting the full story on whatever the fuck is happening under these two roofs. Are they brother-husbands? Is Frank Sr. piping both of them? Can Frankie Jr. DM me his nudes please? The only one being straight-forward in these duel households of confusion is Dolores’s dog who is simply named Dog and I honestly appreciate his refreshing transparency.

Dog Catania, king of transparency.

Finally, Jackie calls Teresa to organize an infamous Jersey sit-down because she somehow got wind of the out-of-thin-air accusations that Teresa all but presented with a bull horn and a PowerPoint at Evan’s parking lot social. They decide to meet at Margaret’s partially constructed house/ wallpaper showroom because it’s neutral territory to hash things out in a relaxing landscape of ladders and contrasting patterns and the tension is so thick you could cut it with one of Margaret’s newly renovated nipples.

Jackie pleads with Tre to clear her husband’s good name and Tre enters a baffling Kelly-Anne Conway bullshit loop which includes such hits as “woman to woman, if I heard this you wouldn’t want me to tell you?” (a reasonable point which is actually working against Teresa because it’s the opposite of what she did), then explaining to Margaret the immediately contradictory “I didn’t tell her and it’s not like I told Evan, I told my friends” (which is an explanation of what she obviously did wrong but said in the tone of a defense), the wacky last ditch nonsense deflection “Alright let me tell you the reason why I did it. This year, now, you know I’m single now. I’ve been approached by a lot of married men that think that it’s OK to have affairs,” and finally just saying fuck it and rewriting history “I did not spread a rumor, I heard a rumor.”

The truth is that Teresa was retaliating for a cheating rumor Jackie entertained about her last year but neither can be held to such unreasonable expectations like addressing reality or admitting fault which is actually ideal because if I cared to see emotionally mature community leaders converse thoughtfully I’d watch Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday not this unhinged turnpike circus.

Jackie’s rival won’t budge so she chooses the nuclear option, looks the reigning matriarch of Paterson in her vacant eyes, and declares confidently “I heard Gia snorts coke in the bathroom at parties” which stopped time on Earth as far as I’m concerned. Is this wild accusation true? Probably not. Was this retaliatory tit equal to the offending tat? Debatable. Do I blame Teresa for immediately whipping into a tailspin and storming out screaming the C-word (no Kathy Wakile, not “canoli kit”) at Jackie no less than 80 times? Girl, no I do not. Jackie has since clarified (backtracked?) that this was an analogy not a rumor she heard which... OK, and whether or not either of the atomic bombs dropped in this breakneck premiere were true, I’m excited to watch our Paterson superstars battle it out for another batshit season!

Esteemed poet laureat of Paterson, NJ.

Join me and my own rock hard nipples next week to recrap a girls trip to Lake George, more developments in the case of Jackie vs Teresa: Jersey Crime Story, and hopefully another cameo by breakout superstar Dog Catania! Please share this recrap with the prostitution whores in your life if you enjoy and follow me on Tumblr (engaged19times), Insta (@engagednineteentimes), and Twitter (@_engaged19times)! I’m recrapping weekly but I don’t get screeners (yet) and it takes me a few days to catch up so please be patient!

XO engaged19times

[the-werdna]

Title: Robcina Week Day 3 - Free Day

Description: Just another day after school. No new incidents in the outrealms. No upcoming exams. Perhaps the perfect day to spend some time with Lucina. She had mentioned something about wanting to go shopping. What was the worst that could happen?

Notes: Once again we delve into my Awakening Persona AU, because no one can stop me! Takes place prior to Chapters 41, 47, and 61 of Love Across Time, which are likewise set in this AU

Words: 2099

A shrill bell chimed, announcing the end of the school day.

Robin quickly scratched down the last few characters he'd been copying from the board into his notebook before standing. The notebook, his pens, pencils, and other school supplies were swiftly shunted into his open backpack a moment later. That settled, he stepped out into the hallways, blinking against the afternoon light streaming through the windows of the hallway,

Right, now I just need to decide how to spend the rest of the day, Robin thought to himself.

He had several options after all. Since it was a Tuesday, the sports club wouldn't be meeting, so that wasn't an option. He did still have the writing club he could attend or perhaps one of his part time jobs he could always attend. Studying in the library was always an option, though by this point he wasn't sure it could offer much improvement anymore, having scored top of his class the past two exams.

Perhaps now would be a good time to work on one of my "social links", Robin pondered. He sighed. He really did hate that term, at least when referring to time he spent with the many friends he'd made since coming to the town. The way Igor referred to them, as if they were simply a means as a wild card user to empower his Personas… it felt too clinical to him. Too impersonal.

That said, since Kendo club won't be meeting today either, Lucina should be free, Robin realized. She did mention something about wanting my help picking some stuff out next time she went shopping.

Making up his mind, Robin made for the front door, swapping out his school shoes for his usual pair before heading outside. Looping around to the back of the school, he found Lucina right where he expected her to be, seated on one of the benches that overlooked the plot of land maintained by the gardening club. Though not a member of the club herself, he knew that Lucina still enjoyed the peaceful spot near the flowers. Though summer was almost over and soon the garden would be empty. He couldn't help but wonder if she'd still come to the spot then.

Lucina didn't notice him at first, her gaze on the butterflies fluttering between the flowers. Only when he was a few steps away did she look up, turning to him. "Oh… Hello, Robin" Lucina greeted, standing.

"I was wondering if you would be free to hang out?" Robin asked.

"Oh, yes, of course. Actually, I was thinking of stopping by a store on my way home. Would you like to come? Of course, only if you are interested."

"Lucina has asked to spend time with you…"

"Since you have Lachesis, a Persona of the Fortune Arcana, you feel you could be closer…"

"Will you spend the afternoon with Lucina?"

"I'd be happy to. You did mention you wanted my input on some things, right?" Robin asked.

Lucina looked happy at this, nodding fiercely. "Yes, of course! Come, let us hurry then before they close!"

. . . . .

Making their way to the clothing store, the two quickly set about browsing through the racks, Robin letting Lucina take the lead.

"What do you think about these," Lucina asked, producing a skirt and blouse she'd picked.

"Well it's… certainly very you, Lucina," he said, trying to speak as politely as he could.

In truth even a fashion novice such as himself could tell the two pieces didn't remotely go together. The blouse, yellow with red polka dots, and the skirt, green and purple stripes, clashed immensely. Nor was it helped that both were possibly the brightest and most saturated pieces of clothing in the entire store, so much that they practically glowed.

"Hmmm, I suppose. Though perhaps…" setting the outfit aside, Lucina reached for another shirt. Then a jacket, and then a set of pants. "What about these?"

The pants were bright orange. The shirt was lime green with pink flowers. And the jacket was sky blue with neon yellow stripes down the arms. It honestly wasn't much better.

Robin opened his mouth to try and tell her the truth, only to stop as his gaze fell on Lucina's face. She was smiling brightly, looking happier than he'd ever seen her. Her eyes sparkled with radiant joy, her smile one of almost childlike glee. In that moment Robin knew he couldn't be the one to take that away from her.

"I think it's perfect," he told her. Somehow he even meant it, as even as he imagined her in his mind's eye wearing the garish ensemble it somehow looked great on her.

"Thank you! I'm so glad," Lucina told him, draping the clothes over an arm. "To tell the truth, I haven't been shopping for clothes like this since I was little. My mother used to take me all the time back then…" There was a brief moment where her smile faltered at the mention of her mother, but it quickly recovered. So complete was her happiness in that moment, even that memory couldn't steal it from her.

Returning the first outfit to the rack, Lucina stepped back, again looking at the clothes she picked out. "I wonder if I can find anything else that will go well with this? No, it's fine on its own. I just know it will look great with what I already own," she touched the red and blue striped scarf she alway wore. "So shall we go to the register then? There is still time before I must run off to work, and I'd like to go check one more place before-"

Lucina stopped at the sound of harsh laughter coming from nearby. There, several racks over were three girls Robin recognized from school though he did not know their names. Though he thought they were third years like Lucina.

One of the girls shielded her mouth behind her hand, whispering something to the girls. While he couldn't make out what was said, the smug way she regarded Lucina and the outfit held in her hands made it plain enough exactly what was the subject of her scorn. Snickering giggles from the other girls soon followed, taking shared amusement at whatever remark had been made at Lucina's expense.

At once Lucina's eyes seemed to glaze over slightly, growing distant as she returned the clothes to the rack. While her expression remained stoic, Robin could tell just how saddened she was.

Anger flashing, Robin turned, starting towards the girls, fully prepared to give them a piece of his mind. However before he could move more than a couple steps he was stopped by Lucina, blocking him with an outstretched hand.

"It's alright, Robin. They're not worth your time," Lucina assured him. While he caught a brief flash of appreciation in her eyes, evidently touched that he'd so quickly jump to her defense, the sadness in her voice remained.

Robin turned and watched as the girls departed the store, leaving the two of them alone.

"Why did you stop me? Their behavior was uncalled for," Robin asked.

"It's nothing I am not used to," Lucina told him solemnly. "As long as I can remember, I have often been a source of mockery among my peers. On account of how ill-adept I am when it comes to more… feminine interests, such as these. As well as my other oddities..."

Robin knew exactly what she was referring to. Lucina's mother had died of illness when she was very little, and with her father's time so often occupied with work, it had fallen to Lucina to take over much of the raising of her younger sister. Combine that with working several part time jobs to supplement their family's income taking what was left of her time, Lucina simply hadn't had time to live a normal childhood and be like other girls her age.

She looked back at the abandoned outfit and sighed. "To be entirely honest, I had hoped this would be an opportunity to learn, but I suppose it was not to be…"

Reaching out, Robin picked up the clothes from the rack, handing them back to her. When she looked at him in surprise, Robin explained, "the Lucina i know would never give up so easily. No matter what others may say."

"Robin..." Lucina trailed off, hesitantly accepting the clothes from him. Briefly their hands touched, and both of them pulled away at the contact, blushing.

"Erm, right…" Lucina turned away quickly, trying to hide her reaction. "I thank you for your kind words. Truly." She glanced back up and him sheepishly, before quickly looking down at her feet, embarrassed….

"You feel your relationship with Lucina has grown deeper…"

"The Lucina Social Link has reached level 6!"

"Your power to Create Personas of the Fortune Arcana has grown!"

"Lucina's growth of heart has affected her Persona as well…"

"Sigurd learned Light Amp!"

"Still…" Lucina at last managed to look up, glancing between him and the mismatched outfit. "Are you certain this won't seem odd for me to wear?"

Robin considered this question for a long moment. At first he considered telling her it would likely draw mockery from people like those girls, but he quickly shoved that thought aside. He remembered how happy Lucina looked before and so he made up his mind. "It doesn't matter if others think it does or not. I just know you'll look beautiful in anything you pick out."

Lucina spun back to face him, her face turning an even brighter shade of pink at his remark. "I… uh…" she stammered staring at him.

At once Robin cursed himself. Why had he said that last part? Stupid, stupid, stupid. It had just slipped out. He hadn't-

No, he told himself. That was a lie. He'd meant it, even if he hadn't intended to say it.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean-" Robin tried to say. Liar. You meant it.

"N-No, it's quite alright. Lucina glanced up at the clock on the wall of the store, seeing the time.

"I'm sorry Robin, but I need to go. My shift starts soon," she excused herself, referring to one of her night jobs as a waitress. "I'll go check out. There is no need to wait around for me"

Not even waiting for a reply, Lucina started towards the register, only to then stop, looking back. "Oh, and Robin?" she asked, her words halting and awkward. "What you said means a lot, truly. So, thank you." She bowed her head and then hurried away.

Robin watched on for a moment, then departed the store, feeling thoroughly foolish and embarrassed by what he'd said. He decided to head home for the evening.

. . . . .

Laying down on the couch in his room, Robin flipped the page through the book he was reading. At the rate he was going, he likely wouldn't finish it that evening. It will take one more night still, he thought.

He sighed, letting the open book fall over his face, covering it. He still couldn't stop thinking about earlier… about what he'd said.

Stupid, stupid, stupid, he scolded himself. Even if he'd been telling the truth, some things were better left unsaid. Even though Lucina had tried to brush it off, he was certain there would now be some new uneasiness between them. How could it not? He was living in the same house as her, and her father was his guardian for the year. Revealing how he felt, even so indirectly, could only make things more awkward…

His phone vibrated once, buzzing on the coffee-table. Lifting the book from his face, he glanced over, seeing the blinking light indicating a new message. He reached for it, then hesitated. Working up all of his considerable courage, he snatched it up and swiped the screen.

It was a message from Lucina.

"ROBIN. THANK YOU FOR SPENDING TIME WITH ME TODAY. I WOULD LOVE TO DO IT AGAIN WHEN NEXT YOU HAVE TIME."

Robin starred, rereading the message again and again, certain he'd understood it incorrectly.

She… wants to spend more time with me?! Even after I… He shook his head, unable to comprehend what was going on. Could she possibly feel like- No, that would be silly. She just wants to keep spending time as friends? Right? That's it. Unless- No, stop! Bad Robin!

Robin groaned, tossing his phone aside and again hiding his face in the book. Dammnit, this just makes things even more confusing...

He decided to stop reading and go to bed for the night.

[ourloveisforthelovely]

On making you happy Part 2

Harry Potter AU

Link to Part 1

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader 

Rating: M

_______

“So you’re marrying Regulus?”

Melinda questioned as the two of you walked into the girl’s dormitory. You nodded, flashing her the engagement ring that Regulus had just slipped on your finger.

“Yes, that is what I have been distracted about.”

Melinda clasped her hands together.

“I had a feeling that the two of you would end up together one day. It’s a smart match. He comes from a good family. Is his mother as intimidating as she seems?”

You sat down on your bed before twisting your engagement ring.

“She is intimidating. Walburga has always been kind to me. I think she has had her eye on me for Regulus for some time so she’s been hamming it up as much as possible.’

Melinda still looked beyond surprised over the news of your engagement. It was no surprise that you would get into a well respected pureblood family. When your friendship with Regulus ended, Melinda expected that to be it. It wasn’t that she was excited for you. She was beyond words to know that you would be well cared for. Maybe it was the whispers about Regulus being a death eater that concerned her. Regulus had made a reputation for himself as a bit of a jerk and Melinda didn't feel comfortable going up to the boy and asking if he really was a death eater.

“I’m sure it will all be wonderful.”

Melinda said with a smile.

The next afternoon, you sat in the common room waiting for Regulus to come back for your date. He had missed potions and you weren't sure about the reason. He seemed perfectly fine the night before.

Your fiance is a servant to the dark lord. You might as well accept it.

The thought in your mind made you feel slightly light-headed. You didn’t want to see Regulus hurt. Fooling around with the death eaters was going to be a one-way ticket to death and injury.

“Hi, Y/n.”

Your head snapped up feeling instantly relieved to see Regulus standing in front of you. He gave you that warm smile that had won your heart over years ago. You quickly stood up and threw your arms around his shoulders. Maybe it was an extreme or surprising action (for both of you) but you didn’t care.

Regulus seemed as surprised to have your arms around him as you were by giving him the hug. He was still not 100% comfortable being touched. After all, the only time that he was touched as a child was due to punishment. His parents didn’t know what a hug was.

He finally recovered enough to wrap his arms around you. Regulus pressed another kiss to your forehead. Maybe getting you to fall in love with him was going to be easier than expected?

“I was wondering if you were okay. I didn’t see you in potions.”

Regulus’ hand fell to the small of your back and let it sit for a bit longer than he honestly planned. Touching you felt too “natural.”

“I’m sorry. I had some...things to take care of. So, shall we go?”

You eagerly wrapped your arm through his as Regulus led you out of the dungeons and up to the astronomy tower.

“I thought that a picnic at sunset would be a nice date.”

Regulus said, softly. He was relieved when you smiled. Whether the marriage was arranged or not, Regulus wanted there to be some romance to it. He had known you long enough to know that you were a sucker for a good romance novel. If he could just sweep you off of your feet, Regulus knew that he could get away with a lot of things.

“Have you been reading romance novels again?”

You asked as you settled down next to Regulus on the blanket. He chucked.

“I think that it's important to know how to romance one's fiance.”

You sighed as his lip closed on your hand.

“I’ve missed you, Reggie.”

“I’ve missed you too.”

He replied with a smile. The two of you sat in silence until the edge of the dark mark on his arm caught your attention. You immediately felt that dizzy worried feeling return with a vengeance.

“If I ask you something, will you tell me the truth?”

Regulus nodded, resting his head on your shoulder.

“Yes.”

You took a deep breath before looking straight ahead. The last thing that you could do was look into his eyes at the moment. All that you could see was the 11-year-old boy who had been your first crush. The sweet boy who immediately decided that you were going to be his best friend. It didn’t matter if you were a girl.

“Are you a death eater?”

Regulus was silent for a moment before sitting upon his knees. He quickly began rolling up his shirt sleeve.

“I think this will answer your question.”

Your eyes rolled down to the dark mark that now ruined his perfectly pale skin. He was. You were going to be married to a death eater. The man that you had loved since childhood was now caught up in something that he couldn’t get away from.

“Why, Regulus? Why in the world would you do something like this? This is…”

“The way it's going to be.”

Regulus said, calmly. You were ready to panic. At the moment, you were being a total “Mary Sue” but you couldn’t help it. Were you able to handle this? You didn’t think so!

You quickly stood up and started for the steps of the astronomy tower.

“I can’t do this.”

You squeaked before Regulus wrapped his arms around you from behind. His body was hard against yours as you stopped trying to getaway.

“Like it or not, Y/n, this is what I am. Just like we are going to be husband and wife, whether you can accept my being a death eater or not.”

You sighed, knowing that he was right. There would be no getting out of this engagement. You were going to walk down the aisle to Regulus in a few months and would be his wife.

“What about me, Reggie? What about our future family?”

Regulus’ painfully tight hold on you eased as he turned your body to snuggle against his.

“Y/n, I can’t tell you everything but things aren’t as they seem. I need you to trust me. Please, trust me.”

You could barely look at him for a moment. It wasn’t until Regulus tilted your face back to his were you able to speak.

“I’ll try.”

“That’s all that I ask.”

Regulus said softly before lowering his lips to yours.

(2 weeks later)

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Black but your husband is dead.”

You stood looking at the little plump witch who had been working on Regulus for the past half an hour.

“What do you mean? He was fine…”

The woman looked over her shoulder. A few other nurses were still trying to bring the poor young man back to life. From what the witch had seen, it looked like Regulus Black had been held underwater until he was dead. Such a shame...another handsome young man lost to a senseless tragedy...

“Excuse me.”

She walked away muttering about another hysterical widow and how she didn't get paid enough...

Your eyes snapped open as you quickly sat up trying to figure out where you were. The room was dark and only illuminated by a flash of lightning every few moments.

“Darling?”

You were relieved the moment that you heard Regulus’ voice. His warm arms wrapped around you and pulled you back against his body. His skin was warm against yours as if welcoming you back into the bed.

“Bad dream again?”

He asked, before yawning. You nodded, breathing in his scent. Regulus smiled before throwing himself over you. He held himself up on his arms and gave you a sweet smile. Your heart fluttered at that smile. It was a smile that he didn’t give out often.

“Such a silly dream.”

Regulus whispered, softly.

“It doesn’t feel silly.”

You confessed. Regulus leaned down for a soft kiss.

“Darling, look. I can’t tell you everything but I promise you...everything will be okay.”

You sighed, happily as Regulus kissed a path down your neck. His voice was deep and comforting against your skin.

“Looks like we fell asleep in the room of requirement again. I can’t wait until we don’t have to sneak around to sleep together.”

You reached up and tugged on his now bed ravaged curls.

“You have two months.”

You said with a smile.

“Besides, I think that our friends realize what we are doing when we go away.”

Regulus grinned as you slowly got up and started searching for your missing underwear. The relationship between Regulus and yourself had intensified greatly over the past few months. Both of you had intentions of not having sex until the wedding night but after a few dates of heavy making out; you found yourself underneath Regulus begging for him to take you.

“Don’t you have an appointment to try on wedding dresses with my mother this weekend?”

Regulus asked. You froze immediately feeling that sense of dread washing over you. Walburga still made you a nervous wreck and now you were going to be stuck in a bridal shop with her. All that you could see was those judgemental eyes telling you “that style of dress makes you look fat.”

“Yeah...are you sure that you can’t come?”

Regulus laughed as he buttoned his shirt. You kept your eyes off of the dark mark on his arm. Over the past few months, you had developed a talent for not looking. If you didn't see it then maybe (just maybe) it didn't exist. You were at least thankful that Regulus didn't tell you about what he was up to with his death eater friends. There had been plenty of dates that Regulus had to blow off due to "business." It wasn't only dates, it was sex too. The two of you would be rolling around in bed then all of a sudden Regulus would be howling in pain.

"I'm sorry...I have to go"

You learned to not ask questions.

“You know that it is bad luck for me to see your dress before the wedding. We need all of the luck that we can get. I’ve already talked to my mother about being on her best behavior. I really think you have nothing to worry about. Mum likes you a lot. I bet that I like you a lot more though.”

Regulus had you back on the bed.

“Reggie, we are never going to get back to the common room.”

Regulus rocked his forming hard-on against your thigh. His long fingers quickly tugged your panties down before unzipping his pants. You sighed against his mouth.

“Just hurry, lover boy.”

Both of you gasped as he shoved back inside. You were still soaking from the last lovemaking session.

“Loverboy, that has a nice ring to it.”

The weekend came a little faster than you planned. You sat in the bridal parlor with Walburga and your mother as the shopkeeper went in search of your gown. Walburga looked as regal as ever

“Which color of dress did you choose, dear?”

She asked, seeming more disinterested than anything.

“Champagne, ma’am. Regulus said he liked that color.”

Walburga nodded.

“He always has and Y/n, darling, you don’t have to call me ma’am. In two months, you’ll be my daughter-in-law. Orion and I are looking forward to having you in our family. Speaking of which, I have a gift for you”

Walburga dug through her handbag before digging out a small velvet box. You smiled and gently opened the box to see a golden heart-shaped locket.

“This is lovely. Thank you. It will go nicely with my dress.”

20 minutes later, Walburga stood helping you get into the ball gown dress. You thought that it was a bit overkill but Walburga insisted on something over the top.

“Yes, this is lovely!”

Walburga’s eyes fell down to your thigh. She smirked seeing finger indentations that resemble her son’s hand. She wasn’t the least bit surprised that the two of you were already “getting to know each other.”

“I think that this is a good time to talk about children.”

“Excuse me?”

You managed to choke out. This was the last thing that you expected to be talking about and what an awkward conversation this was about to be. Walburga walked behind you and started lacing to the corset (a little tighter than necessary, you thought).

“As you know, Y/n, the Black family has been around for many many years. There are certain things that will be expected of you. Producing an heir is one of the most important. You’re young. It's best to start producing as soon as possible. I would recommend having at least two...in case one goes insane. Regulus is already aware of what is expected of him. Our son has a lot on him at the moment. As a wife, you should be prepared to provide comfort whenever he needs or desires it.”

You felt your face going tomato red. Part of you was laughing at the conversation. This woman was literally telling you that you had to have a baby and to have sex with your husband.

She would pass out if I told her that Regulus and I were screwing like bunnies.

You made a mental note to tell Regulus about this conversation later. He would be red as you were.

“Of course. I’m going to make him happy, Walburga. I know that you haven’t seen much of our relationship but Reggie and I are already very happy.”

Walburga smiled.

“From the marks on your thighs, I find that believable.”

Walburga smirked when you flushed all over again. If you were trying to get one up on her, you clearly failed.

"You'll make a lovely bride."

________

@brokencasbutt67-writer

@authoressskr

@fandom-trash-worth-it

@hankypranky

@summer-novak

@li0nh34rt

@tas898

@emiwrites3reads

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@wontlookaway

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[beyondconfessor]

Principle Decisions [11/24]

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Lilith/Zelda Spellman

Summary: It was nice to indulge, for a moment, that Lilith was honestly pleased to see her. That her fingers ran through Zelda’s hair because she wanted to feel her moan against her, that her hand slid around her waist and held her tight because she wanted to hold her. For a moment, Zelda could pretend that this was all real.

N.B.: Also posted on AO3. This is pure fantasy, please suspend your disbelief.

Zelda swallowed as she stood in front of the classroom. She’d been flat out since that morning. Given that her Saturday had been lost, she’d spent all of Sunday finishing off her marking and lesson planning until late into the evening hours. As such, she was exhausted.

She drew in a breath, feeling the caffeine run through her bloodstream as she lifted the marker to the whiteboard and wrote out the main dot points, discussing her thoughts as the class listened to her.

She couldn’t show weakness. Couldn’t allow them to see the exhaustion drifting over her. She needed to focus on the work and drive the points home.

She turned around, feeling a wave of dizziness wash over. Walking back to the pavilion. She used it to steady her and requested Melvin to answer the context of what she’d written on the board in three romantic languages and advise as to their similarities.

The head rush washed over her, and she felt her blood flow return as she listened to him stumble over her words, stuttering, but still managing to point out four out of the five things she was hoping for. She directed to Elspeth next, enquiring as to the missing part.

She couldn’t remember the rest of the class, feeling it blur across from her, but was thankful nonetheless when the class left, leaving her to slump in a seat, head dropping against the spine of the chair as she waited for the dizziness of the room to pass. Perhaps she needed to eat something more sustaining than a granola bar for breakfast-–and yet nausea had been ever-present of late.

She wanted to place it to menopause but knew better than to suggest that. The truth of the matter was that she was unwell, and despite seeing her gynaecologist recently, she’d been placing off seeing her general practitioner for some time, given that during her last visit, the doctor had lectured her about the long term effects of stress and smoking.

She didn’t need another lecture, and her smoking was reduced to two cigarettes now––hardly good for her, but better than her youth.

“Professor Spellman?” she looked up, blinking at the fluorescent lights before sitting up straight in the chair and turning to face the doorway. “Are you okay?” Prudence enquired.

“Quite fine,” she advised, grabbing her bag and standing up. As it was, she felt better after having sat down for a moment. Perhaps that’s what she needed. Maybe she could squeeze in a micro-nap on her lunch break.

“We were meant to meet a few minutes ago. If you prefer, we can do it here?”

Zelda sighed. Her office was only just down the hall. “No, best to be in there,” she advised. Zelda followed Prudence to her office before unlocking the door and setting her things inside.

Pulling out her laptop, she set up and watched a dozen new emails loaded, each one a student pleading for clarification or requesting a new time to meet her to discuss their course load. Sighing, she sorted the emails into different folders before looking up at Prudence, who already had her own workout.

“I graded the assignment for the first years of your language, but I’m afraid that I can’t do the religious studies. Your parameters made sense, but I don’t understand enough of the subject to mark them. I’m sorry.”

Zelda nodded, she’d expected as much, in fairness. “Thank you, Prudence. You’re doing far more than I would expect of a TA.”

“You’re still spreading yourself thin,” Prudence advised. “I know you’re going over everything I mark to make sure they’re fine and I don’t know if it’s because you don’t trust me, or––“

“I trust you,” Zelda advised, with a wave of her hand. “It’s not because of that, it’s because if I’m going to sign them off, I need to ensure that I agree. You do well, there’s hardly ever a bias, and nothing I’m concerned about. If you ever choose to follow the path of academics as a career, I assure you that I will be happy to provide you with a reference.”

Prudence’s expression softened then, a shade of red warming her cheeks. “Thank you,” she said, before drawing in a breath to steady herself, meeting Zelda’s eyes again. “But that’s still a massive workload for yourself. Is there’s nothing that Faustus can do?”

Zelda paused then, watching as the girl’s face scrambled as she realised her mistake, but outside of an awkward movement she made to tug at her sleeves, she did not attempt to correct herself, choosing instead to double-down on it––or perhaps hope that Zelda had missed it.

“Faustus?” Zelda inquired. “Are you on first names with Professor Blackwood?”

“I––we are,” she confirmed. “He’s…agreed to mentor me for one of the projects next year.”

Zelda’s expression sharpened. She wanted to ask then, flatly, if Prudence was having an affair. But then the question was, if Faustus were having an affair with his student, she’d be morally bound to advise Constance. The woman had only recently recovered from her previous breakdown, and as an affair in her marriage would likely only cause her to regress to how she was all those months ago when she couldn’t look after Leticia.

Zelda held her tongue. It wasn’t a problem for now, and so far all she had was guilty looks from Prudence. The girl could just be harbouring a one-sided crush herself. There was no reason to believe Faustus was doing anything wrong.

She continued to discuss things through with Prudence, agreeing to relent and allow her to create some structure for the first-year class lesson planning––providing herself with some relief to focus on other things. She’d still look it over, and likely change it as she needed to, but it would provide valuable skills to Prudence and allow a breather, even if it was only for two hours a week.

As it was, her eyes remained focus on the weekend, counting down the days. She was exhausted, and although she went to bed most nights feeling her eyes burn with the need to sleep, her brain kept her awake with worry, flicking through the work she needed to get done, emails she needed to respond to, essays she’d marked that she fearfully chewed the inside of her mouth over, wondering if she’d been too lenient or too harsh.

Lately, the only thing that allowed her any respite was a choice of three vibrators and a familiar fantasy.

Lilith and her at a crowded restaurant, where the woman was incessantly touching her as they conversed over the food, the woman’s eyes holding hers steady, advising that if she failed to respond the game would be over.

It was enough to drive her quickly to a dopamine high, allowing her to drift asleep where she would dream for a few hours before been awoken by panic, five minutes before her alarm was to go off. She slept enough to not fall asleep at work, and for everything else, there was caffeine.

When the weekend finally arrived, she allowed herself to sleep. There was still a hundred and one things to do, but Zelda allowed herself to turn off her alarm, ease the growing panic and sleep in a little bit longer. After all, she had a meeting on Sunday, and she didn’t want to turn up tired.

Zelda turned up early, stayed in her car until ten minutes to the agreed time, and then knocked on the door. Lilith bid her entrance and closed the door. “We’ll speak first,” Lilith said, and gestured to the kitchen. A neutral space.

Zelda sat down at the table as Lilith sat across from, smiling, her eyes bright as if she was delighted to see Zelda again.

A flicker of something sweet pulsated through Zelda’s heart before she steeled it. This was a professional discussion, not a date.

“I would like it if the impact play continues,” Zelda told her, wanting that to be clear. “I’ll be a better judge of myself and ensure it won’t happen again.”

“It will likely occur again,” Lilith said. “That’s not a poor reflection on yourself; it can be difficult to judge your own emotional needs. But…it might help if you know why you dissociated?”

Zelda bit her lip, and looked away, feeling as if her chest was tightening at the question.

“You don’t have to tell me,” Lilith coaxed. “But if you know why you disappeared at that moment, we can avoid it, or you can be mindful of what you were feeling so the next time it happens we know not to engage in it.”

“I…” she paused, remembering the feeling of the sting, of how much she’d wanted it to hurt. It’d hadn’t been about relief, it’d be about needing to be punished. At the time, a feeling had unsurfaced, knowing she wasn’t enough, couldn’t do enough and when it began to hurt, all she could focus on was that she’d deserved it. “I do,” she said.

“Do you feel that way today?”

Zelda blinked, feeling her eyes prick. “Somewhat, but nowhere near like I had before. I can handle it.”

“How about we play it safe. There are many other things we can do that can provide relief that doesn’t involve impact play,” Lilith said.

“So every time I’m feeling this way, we can’t engage in that?” Zelda asked. The words came out harsher than she intended, and she flushed, looking away. There was an incessant need underneath her skin, and the relief that the caning brought was wholly desired.

“That’s not what I’m saying,” Lilith advised. “When you’re in a healthy mindset, we can learn and touch on your limits and discuss in further detail. Impact play can be used to find relief in times like that, but I don’t feel comfortable doing that with you until I know what your limits are.”

Zelda nodded, swallowing thickly. “Fine,” she said. It was a no for today, but not a no forever. “Seems like a ploy to get more money out of me.”

“Ah yes, my super-secret spanking plan,” Lilith said, giving a patronising nod of her head. “Whatever will I do now that you know it?”

Zelda rolled her eyes. “So impact play is out of the question.”

“There are other comforts. We don’t have to have sex or even indulge in kink,” Lilith advised. “Some of my clients just want the aftercare as the entire session.”

Zelda thought of the feeling of being in the woman’s lap, her hand stroking her hair. Her chest ached for it, but to admit that was…painful. She hadn’t earned it. “No,” she said. “What about bondage?”

“With some clients, I’d be hesitant, but you’ve always responded well to it,” Lilith advised. “I don’t see an issue.”

Zelda exhaled, that was something at least.

“There’s also the domination side. I could order you around on your hands and knees.”

Zelda’s eyes drew to Lilith’s, a flutter returning low in her belly. “And do what?” she asked.

Lilith smirked. “One of my clients just cleans the house. But I’m sure there are other things I could have you do.”

“And what other things would that be?”

Lilith gave a small laugh, her expression shifting. “Anything you want.”

Anything she wanted, the options burned through her and Zelda found herself letting a thousand and one ideas roll through her mind. On her hands and knee, drawing her tongue over the woman’s sex, Lilith’s hand in her hair. Lilith fucking her. Being made to watch as Lilith masturbated…

Lilith rose to her feet, and Zelda followed. She watched as Lilith led her down the hall, a saunter in her step before she turned and gestured for Zelda to walk up the stairs.

Zelda paused, watching her, feeling anticipation bite through as she realised that all she wanted at that moment was Lilith. She wanted to kiss her.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Lilith asked.

Zelda’s eyes watched how her mouth formed the words before her eyes flicked to Lilith’s, a breath tugging as she almost considered crossing the line and just kissing her. God, she wanted to kiss her and feel her gasp and moan and––

Zelda found herself pressed against the nearest wall, and the woman’s mouth was on hers. It was hot and pressing. Zelda moaned, feeling her heart leap at the kiss as hands held her firm, pressing her tight against the wall.

And then her coat was being slid from her arms, tossed to the bannister of the stairs, as Lilith’s mouth continued to kiss hers with a fury. As if she’d longed to see her, touch her, kiss her. Just as she had longed for it.

It was nice to indulge, for a moment, that Lilith was honestly pleased to see her. That her fingers ran through Zelda’s hair because she wanted to feel her moan against her, that her hand slid around her waist and held her tight because she wanted to hold her. For a moment, Zelda could pretend that this was all real.

It should have frightened her how much she wanted it, but when Lilith’s mouth drew over her throat, it was hard to not ache at the idea that she could have this. She could find someone who wanted her like this.

But she didn’t want it with anyone else.

Zelda kicked her shoes off and allowed herself to be manoeuvred next to the stairs where Lilith drew back, teeth biting over her bottom lip as if to hide her grin.

“Hello darling,” she said, a hand coming up to cup her cheek. “Have you thought about what you want?”

“I have.”

“Good,” and then Lilith’s fingers were entwined with hers, tugging her up the stairs, into the bedroom, where the door shut and they could finally look at each other.

Here, it was easy to pretend, Zelda realised. She didn’t need to be a professor at the university or a guardian of two surly children. She didn’t need to be a matriarch to her family or a dozen other things that she was to other people.

She could just be Zelda.

“Tell me I get to ravish you,” Lilith said, and her hands were on Zelda’s waist, a wide smile on her mouth. “I’ve been dreaming of it.”

“Just dreaming?” Zelda asked.

“Ask me nicely, and I might even tell you all the other things I’ve been getting up to as well.”

Zelda hummed, watching the woman’s smile widen further. “I want what you offered the other day. I want to see you come undone.”

“Define undone?” Lilith said, her eyebrows arching as her thumbs drew circles on her waist, over the material of her dress. “Do you want to see me undressed?”

“Mm, yes.”

“Do you want to see…me on my knees?”

“I did enjoy that. I might like to see that again.”

Lilith bit her lip, nodding her head. And then she was leaning in close, her mouth near Zelda’s ear as she asked softly, “did you want to hear me call out your name.”

Zelda drew in a breath, biting back the moan in her throat. “Yes,” she answered, her voice low and purring.

Lilith leaned back and then smiled at her. “Now, there are two ways we can do this. You and I can have sex or…I really do what I promised the other day.”

“Which was what?” Zelda asked.

“That you let me tie you up and I’ll let you watch. I promise it will be quite the performance.”

Zelda felt a wanton tremble low in her belly. Under usual circumstances she wasn’t sure she’d be interested in watching a partner masturbate, but Lilith wasn’t just a partner. Lilith was…something else entirely, and the idea of being tied up, unable to do anything, helpless to watch as she squirmed in her bindings…

Well, she was certainly not against it in any capacity.

“And that will take up our entire time?” she asked sceptically.

“Oh no, there’ll be room for play afterwards. I’m sure you’ll be quite needy for some…relief.”

Zelda’s heart fluttered, a flush already brushing over her. “Well, then. How could I refuse such an offer?”

“How indeed.”

Lilith stepped around, behind Zelda and unzipped her dress, and then her mouth was on her neck and Zelda was feeling warm hands slide over her body as the dress was pushed to the ground.

She went to do the same for Lilith, only for the woman’s hands to catch her. “Oh no,” she said. “You have to keep your hands to yourself, that’s the only rule otherwise you’ll lose some privileges. Now, on the bed like a good girl.”

Zelda bit back a sardonic comment and turned, moving to sit down on the mattress, before shifting to the centre on the bed, where she sat back on her knees, hands in her lap as Lilith returned with lengths of black rope.

The ropes were knotted, and this time, Zelda watched at her ankles were bound to her thighs, which in turn were bound to her wrists, keeping them all nicely locked together. Lilith checked them, fingers running around the pressure points, before she began kissing down Zelda's body, across her throat as one hand slid over the cup of her bra and other slid between her legs.

Zelda moaned, feeling herself grow wet underneath Lilith’s deft fingers as the woman teased her to frustration before pulling away, apparently satisfied when Zelda began panting in her ear.

And then she stood up from the bed and Zelda watched as she moved to the end of the bed, in full view of her.

She undid the cuffs of her long-sleeve blouse, undoing the buttons before she slid it from her shoulders. Then she was unzipping her skirt and drawing that down her thighs. Zelda watched the material slide down, her eyes enchanted by the image of lingerie.

Like herself, Lilith apparently dressed to impress, there was a set of stockings and a garter belt as well, and Zelda watched as she under the claps of the garter belt one by one, before letting them hang.

And then Lilith’s hands were running through her hair as she stretched her body.

Zelda swallowed, drinking in the sight of the woman. It was the first time she’d had the pleasure of seeing her undressed, and if she was honest with herself, she was envious of the fact that it wasn’t her hands undressing her as she kissed over the bared skin.

Lilith’s foot lifted to the ottoman, and then she was sliding down the stockings, her eyes watching Zelda’s follow the movement before the silk was dropped to the ground. And then she did the same with the other leg. A languid movement, her body stretching with ease in flawless movements that had Zelda wondering if the woman did yoga––or had perhaps been a dancer.

Zelda waited, watching with interest as then Lilith returned to sitting on the bed before her, sitting on her knees as she watched Zelda squirmed.

She was close enough that had Zelda been unbound, she would have been able to reach out and touch her, and right now, that’s all Zelda wanted to do. She wanted to kiss her throat and clavicle, place her hands on the woman’s waist and drew down to the hips. She wanted to feel her thigh press between Lilith’s and feel the woman roll her hips over it as she sighed in her ear.

“Aren’t you just a picture,” Lilith said to her with a sharp smile.

“You look divine,” Zelda said, unabashed.  

Lilith’s smile widened, her nose crinkling with obvious delight before it softened again as she came to bite at her bottom lip. Her head tilted and Zelda drew in a breath, focusing her thoughts away from the softness growing inside of her.

“Are you ready?” Lilith asked.

“I am,” Zelda confirmed, watching Lilith’s chest rise and fall.

Lilith grinned, before she leant forward and pressed a soft kiss to Zelda’s mouth, and then she was sitting back on her knees.

Zelda watched at the strappy silk underwear was pushed down her thighs and then slid to her calves.

Zelda expected to watch the woman touch herself, sliding her hands over her body––which was an exciting concept on its own.

Which meant that she didn’t expect Lilith to straddle her thigh, and then moved to kiss her throat, purposefully drawing her body across Zelda’s bound body so there was very little Zelda could do but draw in a breath as she felt the woman’s sex slide over her thigh.

It was entirely more seductive than any lap dance she’d had before, given that she could feel Lilith’s naked body against her, entirely unable to do anything about it. And then Lilith’s mouth was pressed to her ear and Zelda could feel her hand sliding between them both.

Zelda swallowed, trying to calm her beating heart as Lilith’s mouth pressed over her neck, drawing down her throat as she made the smallest noises. Her hips rocked, sliding over Zelda’s thigh, and it was a performance in its own right, one that Zelda could look over Lilith’s should and see in the floor-length mirror in the corner of the room, but she didn’t want to watch.

It was too much when she could hear Lilith making small gasps as she touched herself, knuckles bumping against Zelda’s thighs.

“Lilith,” she whispered.

And the woman’s hand curled over her shoulder, as if to hold onto her for steadiness, her body rocking.

“Please.”

“Please what?” Lilith asked.

“Can I…” she paused, straining in the ropes. “May I please touch you?”

“No,” Lilith advised, her smile wicked as she gasped and Zelda could feel how wet she was, dragging along her thigh. Her fingers twitched, arms straining in the rope bindings and Lilith grabbed her chin with her other hand, holding it steady to look into her eyes. “Watch me, or I’ll get creative.”

Zelda swallowed, “Yes, my Queen.”

“I am your Queen, aren’t I?” she said, her face awash in rapture. “And you are mine today, aren’t you, Zelda.”

“Yes, my Queen.”

Lilith hummed, and Zelda watched her expression shift, head rolling back, body shifting forward. Zelda felt as if her throat would go dry. But every time she leant forward, Lilith was holding her back, laughing at her.

“Needy little thing.”

“Needy,” Zelda snapped, and then the woman’s nails were cutting in her jaw with warning and Zelda felt the need wash over her. She wanted her, needed her like she was oxygen. And all Zelda could think about was what it would be like to run her tongue over the bare throat and feel the woman moan.

“I knew you would get worked up by this. Are you sure you don’t want me to sit back and spread my legs wide for you? You could see how wet I am.”

“I can feel it.”

“And isn’t that much, much better?” Lilith asked and Zelda felt her knuckles purposefully drag against the seam of her underwear. The barest of touch was making her squirmed as the woman continued to fuck herself on her lap and there was nothing she could do to help her.

There was a hundred witty retorts she had that rose and fell as she felt the woman’s head duck to her shoulder. In the mirror, Zelda could see Lilith’s back muscles growing taught, her body shaking. There was a moan, muffled against her throat and Zelda’s breath shook with anticipation, catching in her lungs as she felt the speed increase.

“Zelda,” Lilith hummed into her ear and Zelda’s eyes closed, teeth biting over her bottom lip to prevent from crying out. She wanted her badly. Never before had she felt so much blood rushing into her sex, wetness pooling in her underwear, until she heard the woman’s name whispered like that in her ear.

She didn’t know if it was better or worse to have made this decision. She could be tongue deep in Lilith by now, have her mouth drawing out the same noises rather than this wet, messy feeling drawing over her thighs.

A wave of dizziness washed over her and Zelda’s eyes opened, looking up at the ceiling to focus as she drew a breath, once and then twice, as Lilith’s hand worked between her legs and her other came and curled over her shoulder, the grip trembling as she worked faster and faster.

There was only the soft sound of a panted breath and soft moans, and Zelda’s breath tightened, hoping she was close, because if this continued, she was surely going to combust. Her body burned to touch her, have her hand stroking between Lilith’s legs.

And then the hand tightened on her shoulder and Lilith’s body was taught and rocking. Her mouth was on Zelda’s and it was like everything came into focus. Zelda felt it like an electric shock shooting down her body as the woman moaned against her mouth, her kiss hard and furious.

She tugged at the bindings again, desperately trying to touch her, pressing against her as she rocked with the last convulsion.

And then it was over and Lilith’s body drew loose, her hand drawing away from between them to settle on her other shoulder wetly.

“Untie me,” Zelda said with as much dominance as she could muster with lust powering through her.

Lilith laughed, and then the ropes were tugged undone. Before they were even tossed away she was pinning Lilith to the bed, kissing her mouth and drawing down her body, hungrily, possessively wanting to claim what she couldn’t have.

Lilith’s laughter filled the room as she squirmed underneath her, before her legs wound around Zelda’s waist and she drew Zelda’s face back to hers, kissing her in short, fast bursts before she dropped back. “I thought you’d like that.”

“I hated it.”

“You loved it,” Lilith said, “I could feel it,” and as she said, it her hips rocked prominently, blue eyes flashing. Zelda felt the slickness drag against her body.

“It was cruel, needless torture I wouldn’t wish on another.”

“Is that so?”

“It is, we should do it again another day.” Zelda knew she would be dreaming about this moment. Imagining what it felt like to have Lilith’s body rocking over hers again and again.

Lilith smiled, drawing her fingers over Zelda’s faces softly, tenderly. And then her expression shifted to mischievous. Her hand snatched away and then suddenly Zelda was being kissed again. With teeth and tongue and sucking pressure that had her moaning––too distracted to realise until she felt her hand’s tugged together, that she was being bound again.

It was a simple binding, wrists bound together, but it was enough that in confusion, she slipped to her side and suddenly found Lilith sitting on her hips, pinning her to the mattress.

“Is that how you’re going to play?” Zelda asked.

“Mm. You were rather disobedient. I felt you trying to touch me despite my warning as to otherwise.”

“So now you’re going to punish me?”

Lilith gave a look, not advising either way to her plan, and before Zelda do so much as try to rock her hips, she had her hands above her head, as the woman drew her mouth down Zelda’s throat. “Stay still,” she said, and then Lilith was climbing off her.

Zelda frowns, lifting her head to watch as Lilith opened her wardrobe only for her to turn around and shoot her a dirty look. Obeying, she leant back down on the bed, anticipation prickling over her skin.

And then Lilith was returning and Zelda was biting her lip, eyes watching the ceiling as she felt the woman kneel on the bed before her, sliding in-between her legs.

“Do you know much about forced orgasms?” Lilith asked.

Zelda’s head dropped to look her, but whatever toy she had remained behind her back as she settled on her knees, in between Zelda’s legs.

Lilith’s eyes drew over her body, a long, deep breath puling into her lungs before she smiled, meeting Zelda’s eyes again. “It’s a favourite of mine.”

“For you or me?”

“For you. Think of it as…the other side to the coin.”

Zelda swallowed. “I know a bit of it, but I’ve never really had more than three or four orgasms in the same evening.”

“Mm, I’m sure you stopped your partner or partners when it became unbearable.”

“I…oh,” Zelda realised, she drew in a breath and watched as Lilith dropped a vibrator onto the bed.

“I’m very good,” she assured. “And it can be a lot of fun for both of us. I think it’s a safe way to test you limits, if you’d like to try it,” Lilith was looking at her almost shyly, though there was certainly a vested interest in it. She wanted to see her come undone, but it was more than that. This wasn’t about Lilith taking her to new heights, this was about pushing her limits in pleasure and discomfort and…

…well, Zelda couldn’t help but feel her heartbeat race. “Forced…orgasms?”

“Mm, I press play and we see how many times I can get you off before the battery dies.”

“Is there a record for this?”

“No challenge as such. I prefer to keep to personal bests of the victim,” she said, “And I would very much enjoy making you my victim. Safeword still withstanding.”

Zelda nodded.

“We don’t have to, however––“

“I want to,” Zelda assured, cutting her off. “I want to try it. If I don’t like it, I’ll just say music box.”

Lilith smiled, and there was a genuine warmth to it. As if she was both proud of her and pleased with her. It twisted in Zelda’s chest, a desperation fluttering as she realised that if Lilith smiled at her like that, she’d surely follow her to Hell.

“Good, now, let’s move you there with the pillows.” Zelda shifted, allowing Lilith to help her sit up and shift across to the pillows. The woman allowed her to adjust, propping up two more pillows behind her before she sat back and smiled at her.

And then Lilith was moving between her legs again, her hands drawing over Zelda’s legs.

Zelda’s hips lifted as her underwear was removed, and then Lilith’s mouth was warm, kissing against her knee, setting her chin atop of it lazily, and Zelda watched that blue eyes follow her as she drew her fingers over Zelda’s sex. It was a warm coaxing and Zelda bit her lip, keeping her eyes steady as Lilith drew over the labia, stroking gently.

It was enough to make her limbs shake, and then, apparently satisfied with her reaction, Lilith picked up the vibrator and Zelda held her breath.

“What’s your safe word, Zelda?”

“Music box.”

“Good girl.” The vibrator hummed, its battery quiet as it set against her. Lilith's eyes held hers, watching at Zelda drew in a breath, feeling it hum over her. Never had such a thing felt so intimate, but as Lilith’s other hand came to slide over her thigh, Zelda felt the tension coil inside of her, heels digging into the blankets.

It came slow and steady, shivering from her. It was different from how Lilith’s fingers felt and different from when she masturbated alone. The orgasm spun from her and Zelda breathed through it once, twice, her eyes fluttering and then returning to Lilith.

The vibrator went stronger and without even feeling the first one finish, the second shook through her, harder as she clenched around nothing.

Lilith smiled at her and Zelda felt her heart pound as she leant forward. The woman kissed her and then Zelda was moaning as she felt the vibrator kicked up a notch.

Zelda hissed, feeling it roll over her clit to the other side and back. “You’re doing well,” Lilith coaxed as she drew back. “Two in two minutes, I’m impressed.”

Zelda swallowed, it was intense, far more than she expected. Her thighs shook as she squeezed, heels digging, hands clenching in their bindings. “Jesus in Heaven,” she spat, eyes squeezing shut.

“Three, good girl.”

There her hips tried to pull away, the intensity too much, but Lilith’s hand was firm of her leg, holding her in place as she manoeuvred the vibrator over her clit. It was intense, her clit’s sensitivity was too much, and Zelda strangled a breath, holding back as she felt her body shake, muscles clenching again.

“Lilith, I can’t…” she whined.

“You can,” she coaxed, and as it to prove her point, she slid her other hand from her thigh and stroked over the labia, around and down and then was sliding inside of her where Zelda was wet and wanton, wanting to be filled.

“God,” Zelda hissed and her heels dug in and Lilith's fingers slid prominently, curling against a spot.  

It almost hurt, it was hurting with the intensity, but it was good. She could feel her walls clenching around Lilith’s fingers, squeezing as she was coaxed higher and higher again and then she was crying out, sobbing.

“No more,” she pled, trying to move her hips away, but again, Lilith held her firm, her eyes holding hers, a smile on her lips.

“One more,” Lilith said to her, “You can do it.”

Zelda bit her lip. Her back ached, her stomach muscles ached from all of the squeezings, and there was a rush of noise in her ears. She thought about disagreeing, but the way Lilith was looking at her––utterly please and surprised, fingers stroking inside of her…

Zelda bit her lip, head bowing. One more, she nodded in agreement.

The vibrator moved, rolling up and over and directly onto her clit and Zelda hissed, pulling back away, feeling the ropes pinch on her wrists. She squeezed, a cry whimpering from her and then felt Lilith’s fingers curling, sliding, drawing.

It was Heaven and Hell. She didn’t want it to stop, and yet she couldn’t do it, could feel the climax.

It was too much.

Her heart pounded, heavy and hard in her chest and ears. And then her body was convulsing and Zelda saw stars as she was fucked through to the orgasm.

“Music,” she whimpered.

The vibrator clicked off, Lilith’s fingers slid out from her and then she felt the tug of ropes being undone before Lilith was dragging her close.

Zelda whimpered, feeling her clit throb in a way she didn’t know was possible. She ached, her whole body ached from the however many orgasms she had in a span of however long, but as she was pulled to Lilith’s chest, the woman’s hand drawing through her hair, Zelda couldn’t find herself upset.

She could feel the tears that were drying on her face, and yet despite all of that, there was a hunger in chest as Lilith pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “You did well, I’m impressed.”

Zelda shivered, a smile tugging at she allowed her to relax for a moment. There was nothing sweeter than the touch, and despite how much Zelda’s sex felt swollen and raw, a part of her wanted to ask for it again.

“Four orgasms.”

“Five,” Lilith corrected. “Though not all are equal,” she teased.

Zelda sighed, feeling the fingers draw through her hair. She was tired now, utterly exhausted and a part of her wanted to fall asleep like this, with the woman’s fingers running through her hair. But she couldn’t, there were things to do, essays to mark, results to put up.

“Come with me,” Lilith tugged, and then Zelda was finding herself gently being lead to stand, before Lilith was taking her out of the bedroom, into the bathroom, where the remainder of her clothes were removed, before Lilith guided her into the shower stall.

The water was hot and Zelda sighed as it drew over her skin, feeling Lilith slide in behind her. She felt like she was in a haze, barely acknowledging as soap and water were drawn over her skin by Lilith’s hands. There was a soothing nature to it, feeling her hands draw over her shoulders, down her back and legs.

And then Lilith was turning her around to face her.

She wanted to kiss her, but Lilith’s was focused on lathering her arms, then her chest and her belly. And then it was all being rinsed off.

Zelda took the soap from Lilith’s hand, and did the same to her. Washing over her shoulders, down her arms and across her chest and belly, over her back and down her legs. It didn’t feel sexual, she expected it to, to find herself aroused by the process, but instead, she just found herself looking at Lilith and feeling herself soften.

All of the tension had left her, and there was only dizziness that remained as she set the soap aside. For a moment, they stayed there in the water, their eyes watching each other and Zelda almost leant forward, her hand going to cup Lilith’s face, before she watched as Lilith shut off the water.

It was over.

As Lilith wrapped her in a towel, Zelda couldn’t help but ask, “Do you treat all of your clients like this?”

“Only the ones I like,” she said as she took a towel for herself and led Zelda back to the bedroom.

Lilith pulled out a dressing gown from the chest of drawers, sliding it on and tying it at the waist as Zelda dressed again, placing on her bra, garter belt and stockings before her slip and dress. She paused, watching as Lilith drew out of the room, her hand drawing through her hair to pull it back from her face as she smiled at Zelda.

Zelda paused, feeling the smile flutter inside of her before she turned away, moving to the mirror to fix her hair and place heels on.

She felt lightheaded, and if she had just rolled through five orgasms, she’d be suspicious. As it was, she ignored the feeling and made her way downstairs to where her coat and handbag were, before she went to the kitchen.

She rolled her shoulders, feeling tightness in them as she watched as Lilith set the tea down on the table.

“Feel better?” Lilith asked of her.

“I do,” she said. “Lately this has been the only time I get to spend without worrying about work or family.”

Lilith nodded, “That’s how I got into all of this,” she advised. “It seemed to be the only place where everything else disappeared and my thoughts turned singular.”

“I appreciate everything that you’ve done.”

At that, Lilith’s eyebrows rose. “Is that so?”

Zelda hummed, and then she reached into her bag to pull out her wallet.

“Oh, don’t worry about that,” Lilith said. “Today fulfilled my fantasies as much as yours, it wouldn’t be fair to take your money.”

Zelda frowned, “I did ask for this,” she pointed out.

Lilith shook her head, “No, I enjoyed myself too much. It’d feel like double-dipping.”

Zelda stepped forward, going to comment, but as she did, a wave of dizziness overtook her and before she could even make the extra step towards the chair, she was…

…

…what was she doing?

________________

[guigz1-coldwar]

'Meeting friends' : New chapter for "Redemption in a Spirit in a Cold War" is out !

"Meeting friends"

Chapter Summary : As Yirina has discovered that Zasha was still alive and the mysterious source helping the MI5, it's time for Park to meet Yirina's friend......

To read it on AO3, click here !

Words : +3300

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It was Zasha all along......Zasha....my best friend, still alive after all these times, three years that I didn't see them as the last time I saw them was before I left them going away while me, I had to return back either to Russia or somewhere else as maybe asked by Perseus. Three years that I wasn't able to fullfill my promisi to protect them because an asshole decided it was better to left me in an lost place in the north of the USSR for dead instead of letting me live my life but fate....has changed almost everything today.

Realizing the day of my birthday that Zasha was in fact the mysterious MI5 source they called R. was something I never actually expected to happen, believing at first that it could have been anyone else from Perseus but it was my code that was used....a code that only me, Zasha & Portnova know well and if it was the MI5 who received the transmissions, it could have only been Zasha themselves since I know that they were going into England to join Dedov.....that never actually left the USSR....captured by Perseus and that letter in that memory where I recomfort Zed....it was an fake one. I have to fullfill my promise I kept years ago : protect my friends from Perseus.

I know it was going to be hard for me to see them again but I had no choice but to bring them back with me at my side to fight against Perseus. There's things that we couldn't have done together, things that I wasn't able to do too and it was time to catch up the lost time now that we found each other again.

"So, what now ?" Zasha asked as we both stepped out of the apartment complex in the street, with them behind me, still holding their personal bag where they have taken everything that they need and we need too.

"We're gonna join my friend and then, we're maybe gonna go back to West-Berlin." I replied, stopping myself to look at the direction where Park was awaiting for us to come back "You're sure that you want to go back there ?" They nodded to me at my question.

"By the irony, you're going to bring me back to the same city where you helped me escape." They added as we both start to walk on the sideway before getting next to an crosswalk, awaiting for the redlight to show up and to let us walk through the street. "Has the city changed in three years ?"

"Still the same." I scoffed about it, looking at the redlight. "I really want that someday, I will finally leave this city behind me and not going back." I added, making a little breath as the light goes to green, allowing us to walk on the crosswalk. "The MI6 safehouse we live in for the moment....it's the only good place there."

"Let's hope I will like it." Zasha exclaimed as we arrived on the other sidewalk from the street, next to the parking Park is waiting.

"They're making good coffee, I told you." I joked, making them laugh about it again before we had our feets on the parking and I could see Park standing next to the car, her door opened. "Park." I waved at her.

"Yirina." She said, staying at her position, smiling at me and also waving at me.

"I wasn't too long, right ?" She nodded to me as we were approaching the car, Zasha behind me and I could see that they were a little bit stressed to meet someone they didn't know. "Oh, Zasha, she's Helen Park, my partner." I looked at them as the two shook hands, winking at Park in an lovely way. It was like an slow and discreet way to show Zasha that me & Park is something.

"You must be the Zasha Smirnov that Yirina talked a lot about." Park presumed as the two finished to shake hands.

"Uhm....yes....miss Park..." They breathed, losing a little bit of their voice along the way. "It's a pleasure to meet you too."

"Oh, you can call me just Park." She expressed, smiling at them, to reassure them of her good intentions. "I think that's my turn to meet your friends, Yirina." She told me, referring that now, she was the one to meet my friends like I met hers more than a week ago.

"My friends....are your friends." I affirmed to her as she was passing her hand through the hair that was on her face before I start to walk behind the car with Zasha, opening the trunk for them. "So, where are we going now ?" I asked.

"I need to grab something at Century House and then, on our way to get to West-Berlin." She responded, moving to look at us as I was grabbing Zasha's bag to put it inside. "We should be arriving in the evening...maybe the beginning of the night." She then looked around us. "MI5 is going to call off the surveillance they put on Zasha."

"MI5 was watching me ?" Zasha raised an eyebrow at me, looking confused.

"Well, you didn't give your transmission in the usual way and with that, they were going to move to arrest 'Remi Baker'." I replied, making an silent laugh about it as it allowed me to see them again and to discover it was them behind that mysterious source. "By the way, thanks you for celebrating my birthday."  I then closed the trunk, looking at Zasha with an big smile, making an little tap on their shoulder.

"It was some sort of an tribute to you in case you were still alive." They explained as they moved to open the backdoor behind me.

"And finding you again....let's say it's like an big birthday present." I exclaimed as we got ourselves installed in our respectives seats : Park driving and me & Zasha at the passenger seats. "And to say that the day isn't finished." I whispered, looking at Park, smirking, causing her to laugh silently.

"You're right." She admitted before putting her seatbelt on. "Let's get going then." She started the car's engine and we were on our way back to Century House with Zasha.

It wasn't so far, like at almost 800 meters between Zasha's apartment in London and the MI6 headquarters in Century House and for that, we only had 2 minutes of driving to get at our destination. We arrived in the same underground parking like always but this time, Park decided to go alone at her office to retrieve what she needed and we didn't objected about it as she leave us alone, me & Zasha in the car, waiting for her to come back. I wasn't nervous anymore as I know that behind me, it was Zasha.

"Zed ?" I started after I could see Park in the elevator as its doors closed, talking in a low voice that they could hear.

"Yes ?" They said, having their attention, seeing them from the mirror.

"You remember that I told you that I did lose my memories for an while and I'm recovering them back ?" I asked and I saw them nodding through the mirror. "All of this happened because of an man called Russell Adler." I added.

"Wait." They redressed themselves to get their arms posed on my & Park's seats. "You said Russell Adler, right ?" At hearing them, I looked at them fully, surprised that they know that name.

"You know him ?" I questioned them, giving them an confused look.

"Yeah, an CIA agent that has been tracking Perseus since 1968 as far I can remember." They responded and by that, I was sort of jaw-dropped. "We saw his name in some documents that we decrypted at the end of the year 1978." They added with me, raising an eyebrow.

"Seriously ?" I whispered, not believing that I have discovered with Zasha, Adler's existence. "And....and did I have an opinion on him ?"

"To be honest, you were very curious and disgusted by the man by what he did." They continued, unwillingly describing my whole opinion on Russell Adler himself. "We did saw him in some operations that we had in the USSR back in our old Perseus days." My eyes went wide at hearing this.....did Adler knew me before all of this shit that happened to me ? "To maybe reassure you, he never saw us from upclose." I was now more looking relieved but still curious about if Adler knew about me.

"You may have learned that Stitch got his hands on him recently." I exclaimed, looking at them, having my arms on the seat. "And I'm trying to save the man who fucked my life....well, in fact, not for us for the moment."

"Really ?" They asked and honestly, I couldn't know if they were saying it on Adler's capture, the fact that we were trying to save him and the fact that we weren't going to work on him.  "You really have to save the guy who put you in an come ?" It was about saving Adler......

"Honestly, I would have let him like that....." I started, biting my lips and looking away from them. "But the only positive thing I can say about him is that if we don't have him, we all can start to speak fully russian." I added, sounding low about talking positively of Adler. "Even if we're both ex-Perseus, we can't actually fight alone."

"Yeah, I see what you mean." Zasha said, having their left hand on their chin, in an thinking mood "He's like the only man that can bring the fight to Perseus."

"Can say that." I breathed, joining my hands together and looking outside at the elevator. "For the moment, I'm working with Park to bring down Harry Stone."

"The ex-SAS soldier..." Zasha whispered. "You know, I have my eyes on him since some times." They added, revealing unintentionally to me that it was thanks to Zasha that we got the first mission on that warehouse that Stone had on West-Berlin. "I know that he was working with Perseus since a very long time and that the MI6 put her focus back on him."

"Yes, we're tracking him down and his arms trafficking since almost 2 weeks." I told them, looking at the mirror again before taking an deep breath, thinking od something important. "Listen...." I started, turning around to face Zasha. "Park has an long story....an very complicated one with Stone, he was her friend before and since she discovered the truth, Park is hating him so much." I bit the left part of my lips as I redressed myself, still facing Zasha. "There's things that you shouldn't talk with her.....only me can do it."

"I think I can't know ?" I shook my head to them.

"No and it's better, trust me." I affirmed to them as I finally looked in front of me again. "There's only one thing I can tell you." I started to smile, willing to talk about what I was thinking. "Me & Park, we're together in an romantic way." I could see them throught the mirror with wide eyes as I was keeping an smile on my way

"No way !" They peaked their head between the two seats, still with their wide eyes, looking at me. "You're telling me that you're in love."

"Why not ? Park is someone I can count on my life." I affirmed, proud of it as I saw the elevator's door getting opened, revealing Park with an little box in her hands. "She's the best I have met in my life." I added before Park arrived at her door, opening it.

"Wasn't too long ?" She asked as she handed me the box that I put behind my seat.

"Not at all." I replied, having finished as she was getting herself installed back on her seat before I decided to make a move, kissing her right on the left cheek and once I was done, I could see the blushing on her face and Zasha looking surprised.

"Been cheeky, are you, Yiri ?" She looked at me with big lovely eyes before she looked at Zasha, watching the whole scene.  "Oh....you....well, I think she told you."

"No, Zed figured it out by themselves." I said, giving an wink to Zasha, smiling, knowing that now, everybody in the car know.

"Well...." Park started to said, still blushing from my little kiss. "Time for us to go to West-Berlin." She started the car engine and before driving away, she put her eyes on Zasha. "You're ready, Zed ?" She asked and they nodded in approval before we drove off the place.

Frankly, I didn't expect that the feeling of having Park meeting Zasha was going to go very well and for me, it was so much good to see that happening : it was like my old world getting mixed with her own world and now, I was wondering about how it will happen in the future with Zasha in the team and how Garrett & Greta will see Zasha...hopefully good, I prefer. We left Century House to join the airport, taking an plane and going back to West-Berlin.

During the flight that lasted approximatively two hours, we didn't talk too much except about ourselves with Park learning more about my friendship with Zasha, talking about the memories I got back in my head and having their point of view on the spoken events as Park wasn't so willing to talk too much about herself, something I told Zasha about. It went quite well and it was very friendly with of course, me & Park exchanging lovely gazes to each other.

We arrived at West-Berlin in the evening, still at the Tempelhof Airport and each time I was going out of an plane in that place, I was like reseeing myself getting breathless during Park's rescue and we quickly got away from the airport with me, finally driving thanks to Park to the safehouse....because I know the path very well for that. We got there, at the safehouse 20 minutes after we stepped on the Berlinese soil.

"Zed, welcome to West-Berlin !" I exclaimed as I was walking with Zasha, their bag in their hands while Park was awaiting for us at the door. "It's time for us to get to work." I added as we arrived near Park who opened the front door.

"Garrett, Greta, we're here." Park almost said loudly as we entered the safehouse before we got into the living room. "Here you are !" She added as we were seeing Garrett & Greta having ordered some 'Burger Town' for themselves but also for us.

"Oh, Park, didn't hear you." Garrett scoffed about not having hear us, getting up from his couch to greet us. "Uhm....who are they ?" They asked, curious, seeing Zasha staying next to me.

"Garrett, they are my friend : Zasha Smirnov." I replied as Zasha was trembling, offering their hand to him. "They are going to work with us for the future." I added before the two finally shook hands, still seeing Zasha a bit nervous.

"Oh, well, the friends of my friends are my friends." He proclaimed, retaking the same words Garcia told me two days ago in Cuba, causing also Zasha to smile a little from it.

"It's a pleasure, sir !" Zasha breathed as I took their bags in my hands to put it at the place where we were putting ours before I could see Greta moving from her couch to walk to Zasha to shook hands as well.

"Hi, I'm Greta Keller, BND." Greta presented herself to Zasha, shaking hands with them.

"You can call me Garrett by the way and you can call her Greta." Garrett intervened with an smile, already seeing Zasha as an friend and frankly, it was good to see Zasha been accepted by Park's friends.

"Ok then." Zasha whispered to them before we all got installed in the couchs.

"So, now that you have returned, what's the next move ?" Greta asked to the three of us but mainly me & Park.

"Well....we're going to wait one more day until we can go to Moscow to try to talk with Portnova herself." I responded, looking at Zasha when I mentioned Portnova's name, seeing them having their eyes, sort of ashamed. "Unless we got something that will delay our travel here."

"About that..." Zasha started, resisting the urge to got up already from their seats. "I have something for us : have you heard of Sonya Kuzmin, an relative to Stitch ?" They asked to us and hearing that name, my eyes went wide and Zasha know that very well.

"Wait, they're in town ?" They nodded to me.

"Apparently, they are here to work with some Perseus contacts and maybe also Stone ones." They replied, crossing their arms as they started to look at the dashboard. "They're maybe an person of interest for us."

"So you think that we need to capture them before we got to Moscow ?" Garrett suggested and Zasha nodded slowly. "Mmhm, you got an point then, Zasha." He added with an smile.

"But it's kinda late to get ourselves to work...." Greta looked at her watch before putting her eyes back to us "Maybe we can start tomorrow, if you all want." We all nodded to her, apparently just wanting to have some rest now before we finally start to eat.

Park contacted them before she came back from her office, realizing why Garrett & Greta have bought more food than ever for them. Of course, the two didn't forget my birthday and decided to wish me happy birthday by surprise as I was drinking the soda they took for me, almost choking myself with it and I thanked them....not for almost having killed me with that of course.....

An hour passed and we were finished to eat where Zasha could finally verify my claim about the fact that the MI6 is having an lot of coffee in that safehouse and also that Park was making the best coffee and to say, Zasha was loving it by an lot. Garrett & Greta were the first one to go to sleep, having been trying to find any intels on Stone's operations in West-Berlin all day while us....well, we got an birthday to celebrate with Park and I found Zasha again.

"Aw shit..." Zasha yawned, putting their hands in front of their mouth as they were sit on the couch where Garrett & Greta were before while me & Park were together in our cocuh. "It has been an long day." They affirmed as they got up, stretching their arms.

"You're surely want to have some sleep, Zasha." Park exclaimed.

"Yeah, I might need that." They looked at us with an smile "Well, I guess that you two might need some private times together." They said, smirking.

"Oh....you're right." I told them with an big smile on my face, looking at Park, putting my hands on her lap "We have something that we couldn't finish today." I added, winking at Park again.

"If you wonder, there's an empty bedroom for you next to Greta's one just at the right of the top stairs." Park explained to Zasha as we're both got up from our couch.

"Thanks." Zasha smiled before they started to walk with their bag out of the living room. "Good night, Park.....good night, Yirina."

"Good night, Zasha !" Me & Park said in unison before they were out of the room, starting to get up the stairs.

"So...." Park started, getting her hand below my shirt and getting closer to me, having her right arm around my waist. "Where are we taking this ?" She asked me, referring to continue our little move that we start in her office

"Uhm...what if we took it in the car ?" I proposed to her, wanting to be alone and not to disturb the others with maybe our groans and our cries.

"Oh, follow me then !" She breathed, taking my hand as she start to walk away from the room with me as well, taking the car keys with her before we left the house to get to the car. We got inside, installing ourselves in the backseats and then, at the second we got in, that we jumped in each other for an kiss. "Yiri !" Park whispered to me as we broke the kiss to take some air.

"Who's the one cheeky one ?" I questioned her in a seducing tone as I passed my hand through her hair, having my arm around her.

"Since it's your birthday, I'm the one cheeky !" She teased, blushing as she got herself on her back, getting on top. We couldn't stop in our moves as we continued to kiss each other, slowly removing each button of her shirt until we stopped, looking at each other.....

"Mmhm, it's time for you to have your big present that you highly deserve, Yiri !"

[eleanorbloom]

When You’re Ready Ch. 08

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x f! MC (Eleanor Bloom) x Ethan Ramsey.

Word Count: 4.5k

Warning: Angst, cursing.

Summary: Bryce has decided to let go Eleanor because she’s in love with Ethan Ramsey. But a turn in her relationship with the attending might change Bryce’s plans.

A/N: To the people who still is reading this story, thank you! Things are going to get juicy from now on, so I hope you are all prepared! (And I hope things in the book get really juicy too. I’m still recovering from last week’s chapter omg. My heart will never be the same after what Ethan told to MC :( (And I don’t even want to think about Bryce. My babyyyyyyyyyyyyy is so precious!)

Well, well, well. Hope you enjoy today’s chapter!

Taglist @utterlyinevitable  @shanzay44 @choicesficwriterscreations @laiba-the-person @starrystarrytrouble @lahellacute @lucy-268 @aylamreads @binny1985 @romewritingshop

Let me know if you wanna be added to my taglist!

________

Chapter 8: Me cuesta tanto olvidarte.

Y aunque fui yo quien decidió que ya no más (And even though it was me who decided we were through)

Y no me canse de jurarte que no habrá segunda parte (And I didn't tire of swearing to you that there wouldn't be a second chance)

Me cuesta tanto olvidarte (It's so hard for me to forget you)

 As much as he tried to avoid that moment, there he was, both feet on the grounds of Boston Logan International Airport.  After two months in the Amazon, he was back at the place he wanted so much to escape, only to return with empty hands, with his personal mission failed.  

His heart was feeling like there were never eight weeks since he left Boston, and was aching as much as the night they said goodbye. He had left for nothing. He wanted a reset, but he wasn't sure if that's what he got there.

Even if he tried every day to get her off his head, the most nonsensical things would remind him of her. 

The sparkling eyes of the children seemed attached to the memories of her giving him the shiniest smiles he had ever seen.

The carefree nature of a young woman would remind him of her youthful spirit, a trait he had grown to appreciate since the moment he knew her, but that he had failed to preserve in the last months, due to his erratic attitude towards her.

And if there was nothing that reminded him of her during the day, there would always be a sparkle at the end of the day, just about to sleep, that would explode in his mind like a firework. Whether it be the feeling of her hands touching his face, his hair, his bare chest; or the feeling of her soft lips giving him life after a searing kiss.

Whether it be her amber eyes illuminating the darkness of his mind and waking him up to a trance of vivid memories and feelings of happiness and joy. Vivid memories of something that were long gone and that couldn’t be back; or her laugh invading his ears and making him jolt as if it was the painful hallucination of a schizophrenic mind, and swear she was just laughing by her side when the truth was they were thousands of miles away.

Some nights he would toss and turn in bed, wondering what would she be doing; if he had broken her more than he was aware; if what he had done was right; if all this was really about her or about his fears and the ablaze belief that he would never be worthy of her because he could never give her everything she deserved. Wondering if all this was always about the fact that since he was a child, he never felt worthy of love.

He honestly couldn’t know.

He didn’t know how to face a truth that had been carrying his whole adult life, and he wasn’t sure it was now the time to explore those feelings. It didn’t make sense now. 

Some other nights he would lay remembering her, but the tiredness would be like morphine to his mind, sending him to sleep just as his head would touch the pillow. The memories of her wouldn’t haunt him like a ghost all night, the guilt wouldn’t eat him alive, there would only be a full night’s sleep, with physical recovery but with the same burden on his mind.

After three weeks, however, he had convinced himself that he had done the right thing. That she would eventually move on, that she would let him in the past and all this bad road would be over soon. But the hollowness somewhere inside him reminded him every time, that it wasn’t what he wanted, that he didn’t want it that way.

There was another way, but he was a coward.

Deep inside, he was hoping that the distance between them wouldn't make an effect like he intended to. He wanted it to fail. That her love was stronger than that. That that strongness was the proof he needed to push himself towards her, to fight for her, to hold her and never let her go again.

But then he would remember that all that he had been doing the last months, was for her, and only to protect her. That this self-sabotage would only damage her career. He couldn’t let that happen.

*

Ethan was having dinner at the ranch in the company of the owner, a Colombian elder woman who had spent her entire life receiving tourists that came to the rainforest from all places, and that had taught her the basics in various languages to communicate with them, English above all.

She had observed him for weeks. He noticed he was taciturn, thoughtful, that would never involve in small talk, so she had decided to respect his privacy and his love for silent meals. But he looked too troubled that night to ignore it.

“Are you in love, doctor?”—The woman asked, interrupting the dissection of his own thoughts.

“I beg your pardon?”—He replied, a bit startled for the intromission.

“I have lived long enough to know, by the look in your eyes, that you are in love. And that you would do anything to deny it, but it’s a stupid try, mi niño.”

He remained silent.

“I know you the yankees only care about work and money. You as a doctor are more human than others because you are here,”—She splayed her arms in the air, trying to sum up in a single gesture the greatness of the Amazon— “but for the same reason, you deprive yourself of the more important things in life as family and love.”

“Saving lives is the more important thing to me.”

“I know that. You have no family, no partner because your job goes first. But you are in love and I bet you are keeping the person you love away from you. Maybe that’s the reason why you are here, in the first place.”

“I didn’t know people in the Amazon were diviners.”

“We are not, but I have lived enough to see too many people coming here to forget, and that had failed.”

Ethan stared at her, thoughtful, not even sure if he would address her accusations.

“So, I am right?”

There was no point in denying. He would be gone in three weeks and then he wouldn’t see her again. He wasn’t risking anything.

“Yes, you are.”—He finally admitted.

“And Medicine has not taught you anything, doctor?”

“What do you mean?”

“You see life and death every day. You know the value of life and how easy it goes. Being a doctor is a tough job, but as someone who knows about the meaning of life and death more than any other person, you don’t seem to put into practice everything you have learned: To live and love ”

“It’s not that simple”

“It is simple. You have no idea how simple it is. I only hope you don’t learn it the hard way, when you lose your chance. I have seen it so many times, you wouldn’t believe me.”

The friendly silence joined the tabled again, leaving Ethan more pensive than before.

Maybe the elder woman was right, but Ethan was never a man of sentimentalism, of searching the meaning in things. He only wanted to seek the truth in life, how things were based only on facts. And the truth in this situation was that he had to stay away from Eleanor to protect her reputation and her career. There was no point in trying to find an alternative answer to that. The truth about them was absolute.

Still, he couldn’t stop thinking of her words.

*

Ethan force himself to come back to reality as entered in the baggage reclaim area of the airport. Once it was all collected, he took a cab to his apartment. 

Once he was there, he took a shower, unpacked his luggage, and drop off his clothes from the trip at the laundry service on his way to the hospital.

 The sun was already set when he met Naveen at his office.

“Ethan, my boy, I’m so happy you’re back safe”—He greeted giving him a hug that Ethan replied coyly.

“Good to see you, Naveen. How have you been?”

“Incredibly well, the weather has been so nice. And my position as Chief gives me more time to enjoy the sun, so I’m incredibly well with the amount of vitamin D I have absorbed these past weeks.”

“I can see it. You’re more joyful than usual.”

“Not just because of the sun, but because you’re back. I sincerely missed you, my friend”

Ethan nodded in a way that Naveen interpreted as he felt the same.

“How was Manaus, well, and the rainforest in general?”

Ethan updated him about his trip, describing the streets and highlights of the city in detail, and after that, he followed up with his labor with the WHO, and how things were when he left.

The origin of the epidemic had been found in a river that rises in Colombia and flows to the Amazon River, in the middle of Brazil. The Amazon River was the biggest in South America and its size was the reason it had caused nothing less than an outbreak just in a few weeks.

Just before Ethan left, the development of a vaccine had started, as a variant from the Malaria’s; therefore, in the next three months it was expected to be tested and by the end of the year, it was expected to be produced. He wasn’t sure if the WHO would call him for another Mission, but Naveen would be fully aware of that in case they would.

*

The hospital was quiet when both mentor and protégé left the office. They parted ways in the parking lot. Naveen, to go to his car, and Ethan, to walk down the street towards Donahue’s to say hi to Reggie.

He needed a drink to feel he was really back in Boston. At Edenbrook. But deep down, he wanted to go there because he hoped she would be at the bar. There was no way she wouldn’t be with her friends celebrating their last day as interns and welcoming the first day as second-year residents.

His pace was slower than usual for multiple reasons. First, because he wanted to enjoy the warm night Boston was welcoming him with; second, because he wasn’t going there to kill the tension of a day’s work, just to enjoy the night. And third, because some part of him was afraid of what he would find there. If she was there. If his face would betray him even if he had mastered the stoicism long before he met her.

“Don’t teaser her, Jackie! I still have nightmares about that Ethics Hearing!”—He heard just when he was about to turn to the entry. “If Eleanor had left Edenbrook, I don’t know what we’d done.”

He had no doubt that that sweet and soft voice belonged to Sienna Trihn.

“Stolen her spot in the diagnostics team?”

And that snarky retort was from Jackie Varma.

“Oh. My God”—The tiny resident said once her eyes caught him at the entry.—“He looks so different.”

She didn’t even lower her voice as she acknowledged him. And he didn’t care. As soon as he realized where Sienna and her friends were, his eyes couldn’t help but search for her eyes.

“What are you talkin-“—Eleanor turned and her mumbling stopped right away as their eyes met. Her confused amber eyes went stunned in an instant.

“Rookie”—Was all he could say to not let his feelings betray him. The sole sight of her was painful enough to try something else.

“It's good to have you back, Dr. Ramsey”—She murmured, her voice distant. Like she wasn’t even conscious of her words, like she wasn’t saying them, and an automat had taken hostage of her body.

Even though she knew he would be back tomorrow, it was clear she didn’t expect to see him tonight.

“Yeah… Good to be back”—He tried to remain serene, but for a second his eyes faltered on her with a torn expression.

He hesitated for a moment before keep walking towards the main bar.

 ***

She felt like someone was turning the volume up in her head. The chatting of her friends, the clinking glasses, the laugh of people, the cars passing by, the music on the jukebox inside. All was too fucking loud on her head. 

The bubble that had alienated her from the outside had popped just the moment she met eyes with Ethan. Every sound was irritating to her. Every laugh, every word, every passing car.  Her heart beating fast, her agitated breath. All the noises were multiplying.

Still, she didn’t even know how she found the strength to reply to him. It didn’t sound like her at all. It was like she was observing herself outside his body,  the obvious first-hand and only witness of her own autoscopy.

“Relax”—Bryce said in a jokingly tone when Ethan was out of sight—Ramsey might not be my type, but damn, I felt things too.”

All her friends burst out in laughs, trying to alleviate the tension.

“No one can deny that the man's his appeal, and with that makeover, oof. Total heartbreaker”—Conceded Jackie.

But she was barely conscious of what their friends were saying. Just as he entered the bar, she felt disoriented. Lost. The volume in her head started to turn down, silencing her from the noises around her. Like the earth had stopped rotating and she was caught in the middle of her own thoughts.

She didn’t expect that. She had come to terms with the fact that she would see him tomorrow, at Edenbrook, but she absolutely wasn’t prepared to see him tonight. At the bar. She should have known.

Then, she heard her name somewhere. Somewhere very, very far. And after that, a warm caress in her back shook her out of her stupor.

“Elle, are you okay?”

She looked up. All her friends were trying to catch her attention, and Sienna was staring at her with her brows furrowed in concern.

“Ellie…”

“Yeah, sorry, guys, I think the beer went to my head.”

Eleanor felt a warm caress against her back again.

“Babe, are you okay? D’you need a moment?”—He whispered, leaning carefully towards her.

“No, no, I’ll be fine.”

Bryce didn’t look so convinced.

She looked at him in the eyes, knowing that it would ease her mind. She smiled. It had worked. But she knew she couldn’t spend her life being wrapped to Bryce to feel calm, that she couldn’t run to his arms every time she felt something for Ethan. She had to face the pain, the fear, she needed to confront him to really be over Ethan. She had to do it alone with all the pain it was involved in.

“I’m okay, really”—She reassured, his lips quirking a bit to resemble a smile.

He nodded.

She wanted to be okay, because the last thing she had on her mind, was to make a scene, just as the last time she saw Ethan. No, she had to grow up. The days where she would drown in sadness and ‘what ifs’ were over. She had to handle the situation like the adult she was.

But it wasn’t that easy. Even though she rejoined the conversation with her friends, after an hour she really felt the need to have a moment.

“Sienna, care to join me?”

“Of course, Ellie”—She replied getting up from the bench.

The walked carelessly towards the bar, Eleanor trying to ignore completely the presence of Ethan sitting on his usual spot.

“Are you okay?”—She asked once she closed the door behind her.

“I… I’ve been better.”—She confessed, leaning against the wall.—It’s just… I wasn’t expecting to see him today, tonight, here. I made my mind I would see him tomorrow. But well, that’s how things went.”

“It was so shocking, for all of us. Mostly because of that makeover. I swear I thought I was confusing him with another person”

“Like a extremely hot twin brother of him?”

“Kinda, yeah”

They both laughed.

“That’s torture. How can he appear here like that and expect me to stay away?”

“Eleanor…”

“Sienna, I’m teasing”

“I wouldn’t be so sure.”

“But I am. And I can’t even think about doing something with Bryce here.”

Eleanor shook her head.

“Ah, poor Bryce. He’s all in the comforting mood but I know it hurts him.”

“Maybe, but he’s actually worried about you.”

“Why he has to be so selfless? I don’t deserve it.”—She protested —He has been an angel with me this whole time. And this stupid asshole appears, and I fell to the ground like a whiny stupid.”

“Ellie, he knows what he’s dealing with. And I know he’ll be wise enough to leave when his time is over. I just hope that doesn’t happen, and that he gets his happy ending with you.”

“You don’t think I want the same? I want it. But it doesn’t matter what I want when the person I’m in love with it’s not him.”

There was silence. Sienna looked at Eleanor. She was pissed off, but not defeated like before. That was progress.

“Okay. Let’s focus.—Sienna exclaimed with renewed energy, trying to comfort her friend—"The things are this way: You’re still not over Ethan, but if you want to, you will. And you’ll do it by stop having hopes. You’ll focus on the good. On Bryce. On the beautiful moments you two have had. And as long as Ethan doesn’t say ‘Eleanor, I love you, let’s be together’, your situation with him is the same as it was when he left. It’s done. Terminated. Over. Okay?”

“Okay, yes. Yes. Crystal clear.”

“Pinky promise?”

“Pinky promise”—She replied as her pinky locked Sienna’s.

A few moments later they returned to the table. Jackie had brought a new round of beers. Eleanor took her seat next to Bryce, and without a moment’s hesitation, she brought her lips to his cheek and kissed him softly.

He stared at her a bit confused. That day, at the beach, they agreed to be more discreet with their relationship now that Ramsey was back. Somehow, she wouldn’t feel comfortable that he could know about them when nothing was settled, and she didn’t want to provoke a response in him by jealousy or make him doubt her feelings for him. That way, they would return to their habitual friendly interaction in public spaces, but their relationship remained the same. Therefore, that show of affection in public was against their agreement.

“What was that for?”

“You just deserve a kiss for being so cute with me.”

He smiled.

“In that case, I deserve more than a kiss on my cheek, don’t you think?”

She shook her head and brushed her lips into his.

“Better?”

“Much better”

They continued their chatting through the night until Reggie announced he was about to close. Eleanor and her friends collected their used jars and went to the bar to give them to Reggie. Ethan was still by the bar and apparently, he had no intention to leave soon.

“What? Last call doesn't apply to you?”—She asked, her words coming out of her mouth incautiously. Like nothing had happened. Like the two months they didn’t see each other never existed.

“Reggie and I go way back. We have an arrangement.”

“An arrangement?”—She snorted— “Is that what you call friendship?”

“I don’t have friends, but I wouldn’t mind you joining me if you were so inclined.”

“Say it. You want me to join you?”—She defied.

He stared at her seriously for a few seconds.

“I do.”

Eleanor turned to her friends

“I’ll stay for a while to check in about tomorrow with Dr. Ramsey.”

“Okay”—Sienna replied—"Just don’t stay out too late... Aurora's dropping off the rest of her stuff before work tomorrow.”

Eleanor nodded and her eyes directed to Bryce. He winked at her before turning to the door, but she could have sworn his smile fainted the very moment he turned.

“Well, we've got ourselves a brand new Ethan Ramsey.”—She stated, approaching him at the bar.—"You took the reset thing seriously.”

He gave him a painful look and scratched the back of his neck.

“Why don’t we move outside?”—He suggested, trying to diffuse his tension—"It'll be winter before we know it. Might as well enjoy the weather while we can.”

Ethan took a half-drunk bottle of nice scotch and head out to the empty beer garden, taking a seat beside a small fire pit.

“So… how have you been?”

“As good as it can be, given the circumstances there.”

“Yeah, I figure. I’m sure you went through a lot there.”

Ethan nodded.  Thinking that he indeed went through a lot there, but maybe not the kind she had in mind.

“What about you?”—He inquired after a brief reflection.

“I’m doing great. Excited that intern year has finished. And tomorrow is my first day on the big leagues”

“Yeah. You start with the DT. Time has passed so fast”

“Certainly.”

Then, the silence made its presence. They stayed still to study each other subtly. Ethan couldn't decipher what, but there was something different in her that had nothing to do with the passing of time. It wasn’t the hair, her summerly outfit, or something physical. It was something in the way she was looking at him, in the way she was speaking, and even in her gestures, that made him realize she wasn't the same he had left eight weeks ago. There was something familiar about her manners, but he wasn't sure what it was.

And after an eternity of silence and endless questions inside his head, she finally spoke.

“Why you didn’t reply or call back… or said anything?”

All Ethan could think was if she was interested in asking that, it meant there was something still there. That maybe she still cared for him.

“Eleanor…”

“I had to ask Banerji to know me if you were okay. Don’t you think it isn’t unfair?”

“I know, he told me.”

“It was a fucking message, Ethan. Just ‘I’m okay’, just that, I wasn’t expecting a report. Just a fucking reply.”

“I know. I’m so…”

She raised her hand, stopping him midsentence.

“Please, don’t. If you were truly sorry, you wouldn’t have done it in the first place. It was so simple.”

“I needed to walk away…”

“Yes, I know, but this has nothing to do with that. With your so-called self-control. Cause I don’t know how much self-control you can compromise by sending a couple of words. It’s not like you can lose it being thousands of miles away from me. But, of course, the fault is always mine for expecting some decency from you.”

“You were worried?”

“How can you ask something like that? Of course I was worried! Epidemics are unpredictable and much riskier to doctors.”

She shook her head.

“I really hoped our conversation would’ve made sense to you. But no. Nothing’s changed. You can’t even be a decent friend or colleague.”

He remained silent.

Eleanor took a sip of the scotch, and then breathed heavily with her eyes closed. After a few moments, she opened them with renewed energy.

“Well, no point in dwelling in the past. Let’s talk about tomorrow.”

Her words caught him by surprise. The way she just shook off of his mistake was new. He expected she would give him hell for at least fifteen minutes, but apparently she had more important things to discuss.

“Okay, what do you want to know”—He said, finally.

“What should I know?”

“Well, once the meeting with all the other residents is done, you have to go to the Diagnostics Team office, to join us for the daily meeting. We’ll be discussing a new case too. A few hours ago, the hospital informed me that we are receiving a patient from Manhattan Presbyterian, so that will be your first case as Fellow Member.”

“Excellent. Anything I need to know about the other members?”

“I leave it to you, so you don’t meet them biased from what I tell you”—There was some strange tint in his sight, something mischievous Eleanor couldn’t decipher.

“I think you’re being tricky with the answer.”

Ethan chuckled.

“I’m not. Tomorrow you’ll have your first impressions on the members. It’ll be fine.”

“I suppose”—She sounded tense.

“You’ll do it great, Rookie. You had an excellent performance in your first year, and you made a diagnosis neither your boss nor your boss’s boss couldn’t make, so, that’s quite impressive. You deserve the spot.”

“That’s because I learned from the best.”

And there it was again, the silent longing in their eyes. The intense looks, the pain, the restraint. The alternated gaze between lips and eyes. It seemed like the dynamics from past months were about repeat again. Eleanor succumbing to her feelings, asking for a chance, breaking their boundaries just to have one more kiss, and lose herself in the same old lie with the same old ending. And just like before, Ethan would fall too. As if eight weeks hadn’t passed. As if the time and distance hadn't done their part.

But things had changed. He had no idea how much things had changed.

Because after what it felt an eternity, she just smiled at him shyly and then looked away from him at slow-motion speed. Or that’s how Ethan saw things in his disappointed mind.

Then she took her glass, her hand almost imperceptibly shaky, and drank the remained scotch on it.

Ethan froze for a moment, completely surprised at her reaction, and then turned to the table, sipping his drink too. His mind still was wondering why it was being so easy for her to just look away and don’t dare to kiss him. He was back after two months out and she didn’t even want to kiss him. 

“Good thing you’re back just when summer is beginning, so you don’t end up freezing for changing temperatures.”

Ethan couldn’t repress the astonishment when he noticed Eleanor was using the small-talk card. They had never had small talks before. She always had something to comment, some insight to share, even something to recriminate him with. But now there was nothing of it.

Maybe it was her last resource to avoid something utterly stupid or senseless like kissing him. He couldn’t really blame her.

“Yes, glad I can catch some sun. Vitamin D has worked wonders in Naveen. But he’s too cheerful for my liking.”

“Ethan, Dr. Banerji has always been too cheerful for your liking.”

“Well, yeah, but he is annoyingly cheerful now, and summer is just beginning”

“May the Force be with you”—Eleanor joked,  getting up from the bench.—“Well, I’m going home now. Tomorrow’s my first day and I have to come up as fresh as a daisy.”

Ethan smiled faintly at her.

“Goodnight Rookie, I see you tomorrow”

“Night Ethan, see ya”

[calliecat93]

So… been a while since I did one of these. Yeah, long story short 2020 just ruined my anxiety and a bunch of other things and I just couldn’t handle doing the reviews after I feel so behind during the first half of V8. Even the six-week break didn’t do anything to reignite the motivation or help the anxiety, so I decided it was best to quit and just wait for the volume to be over. Which with how emotionally draining the volume was which may have very well impaired my judgment at the time, was probably the best decision. But V8 has been over for months now and we’re awaiting V9. So it’s time to finally finish this.

I normally do one chapter per review, but since I now know all that’s coming, I’m going to do two chapters per review. That means four total reviews, then a mass V8 review, and then hopefully things go better when V9 starts. So last I left off, we got Cinder backstory, the Ace-Ops running into YJR, and Salem breaking Atlas’ shields to finally go forward with her invasion. The dark times are upon Atlas and our heroes are running out of time. So… what happens now? Well, let's find out.

Overview

I normally break down everything moment by moment, but we’re gonna keep it brief since there’s a lot to cover.

In War as Salem’s attack marches forward, all of our heroes are in a bind. RWB wants to help Atlas while May wants to return to Mantle and points out that they can’t have both. Nora is still in need of a doctor, which causes Whitley, who overheard, to call in a character that we haven’t seen in quite a while. With JYR, they were captured by the Ace-Ops, who has now been tasked to use a bomb to blow up the whale. Our heroes negotiate with Winter to allow them time to go in and rescue Oscar and causes Ren to make an unexpected discovery. Meanwhile, in the whale, Emerald overhears Oscar/Oz again pleading to Hazel to see reason, even going as far as to give him the password to the Lamp. Not for Salem, for Hazel. This causes Emerald’s doubts to become even more concerning and with Mercury leaving with Tyrian for Vacuo and Cinder focused solely on her quest for power, she is left alone to decide what she wishes to do.

In RWBY’s 100th chapter Dark, we are at the Schnee Manor where the power blows out. But when they recall that they have an emergency generator, Whitley realizes that they can use the SDC to get supplies to the Mantle refugees. Ruby and Blake go to restore the power as Ruby is still struggling to maintain her usual optimism, but they encounter a Grimm in the process. Specifically, The Hound. Meanwhile, Penny, who crash-landed in front of the Manor last episode, tries to maintain control as Watts’ virus goes into effect. During the battle, it ends with Ruby discovering The Hound. One that utterly horrifies her…

Review

Okay, there is a LOT to go over with these two chapters, So let’s break this down event by event.

Monstra

Let’s discuss our villains first since we have some pretty major developments. First, we have Hazel. We had just about everything that I had assumed before confirmed. The reason that Hazel works for Salem isn’t merely just because she claims to want a new world order. Honestly, I think that Hazel just fooled himself to justify his decision to himself. No, as he talks to Ozcar, the truth becomes crystal clear. Hazel has given up. He confronted her once, and all that happened was she kept coming back until he was too exhausted to fight anymore. She broke him. Fighting her was futile and by taking advantage of this, Salem set him on the only path that he had left: getting revenge on Ozpin. Even though he’ll reincarnate, he can still be hurt. He can still be killed. He can still suffer. It was all that Hazel had left, and it consumed him.

As much as I know that some had issues with Hazel’s backstory, losing your sibling to circumstances that weren’t really anyone’s fault but you still feel so angry that you just need to blame something is very understandable. I’ve been in that place. I think that many of us have. And to learn that he did try to fight Salem at first but in the end, gave up due to her immortality… can you imagine how many others likely went down that route? Wanting to fight Salem but when the horrible truth came out were left empty? RWBY went through it in V6 and barely recovered, so it’s easy to see where Hazel is coming from. It’s easy to see why he won’t believe Oz when he tells him what Salem’s true goal, the release of death via summoning the Gods judgment, is. Oscar takes over and reveals the password, trusting Hazel to decide for himself what to do. Not Salem, Hazel. Will it pay off? Only time will tell.

But Hazel isn’t the only one privy to this new information. Emerald overheard all of it. Whatever fears that she had were all confirmed. Mercury is dismissive, both not believing it (until Tyrian confirms it) and even if he did, points out that Hazel failed and fell into line. It’s going to take time for the assassin to change his mind. As far as he’s concerned, he’s on top of the world, or at least in the best place that he can be in. Better than when he was with Marcus at least. Emerald though? She’s been doubtful and scared since at least the end of V3, even earlier if we count the flashbacks in Beginning of the End. The only thing that has kept her around along with the fear of Salem has been her devotion to Cinder. But with how Cinder has been coldly dismissive of her thus far this volume and now knowing that she’s part of something far worse than she imagined, it looks like Emerald may be deciding that it’s not worth it anymore. The question is, will she act before it’s too late? With Mercury off to Vacuo, she’s on her own to make that choice.

The villains’ stuff is mainly setup for Chapter 9 but it’s good stuff. We’re getting everything in place for the many payoffs that we’ve been waiting a long time for. Many of us have been hoping for Emerald to defect. While IDT as many have wanted the same for Hazel, he’s certainly the nobler of his buddies and has shown signs of possible redemption, so I’ve been hoping for it. Oz and Oscar’s efforts seem to be paying off and Oscar taking over and playing a huge gamble is pure excellence. It’s both Oz trusting the boy and working in tandem with him showing how he is genuinely trying to be better and showing Oscar’s growth with his more diplomatic skills here. It failed to work on Ironwood, but perhaps this time he’ll have better luck.

JYR and the Ace-Ops

Like with the villains, their stuff is contained all within War. But boy do we have plenty to go over. With Atlas in utter chaos, to the point of all the citizens having to hide in a subway, Ironwood has decided to have Winter and her team bomb Monstra. Which makes sense… except that Oscar’s in there. Needless to say, JYR isn’t happy about that. But Harriet, Elm, and Vine remain committed to their ‘we have no feelings’ routine. Even though it’s so obvious that they’re lying through their teeth. Ren’s Semblance confirmed it, but it’s not hard to tell. Elm and especially Harriet are hiding their feelings through their anger and doubling down on following orders. Vine does try to remain reasonable, but otherwise retains his emotionless demeanor. Marrow… he just clearly doesn't want to be there anymore. He’s still trying to remain comitted to what he’s doing, but this and Chapter 9 are going to be changing that big time

And WInter? Oh Lord Winter. She wants to do the right thing but is bound to her loyalty and duty to Ironwood and Atlas, and she doesn’t know which one to follow. Her orders? Or her heart? The choice may seem like a no-brainer to us, but to Winter it’s more complicated. She feels that she owes Ironwood so much. Because of him and the military, she escaped her father and his control. I think that she does realize that this point that she’s just exchanged one puppetmaster for another, but she doesn't know how to cut the strings. We see some signs of hope, both in the last volume when she allowed Weiss and the others to escape, and here when she grants JYR’s request to go into the whale to find Oscar before the bomb arrives. She knows that if Ironwood finds out she’ll be in trouble. She remains conflicted, but it’s still a signt hat it’s not too late. It allows her (and Marrow forthat mater) to remain sympathetic while others like Harriet… well, they’re not making it easy, let’s leave it at that.

That brings us to Ren. He’s had it hard thus far, his emotional control slipping, his split-off from Nora, and everything that built up the last volume coming crashing down. He’s been pushing everyone away, but now? He can’t afford to do so. Not with Oscar in danger. When Harriet says that teammates are replaceable, he strongly disagrees. He and Jaune would absolutely know how wrong this is. They’ve never replaced Pyrrha after all. Even if one considers Oscar part of JNR, he’s never been considered the new Pyrrha. He’s just Oscar, their friend. When he finally admitted that to himself, it allowed Ren’s Semblance to evolve. Instead of simply masking emotions, he can now see them via colored flower petals. Yes dear readers, Ren is an empath.

This development is perfect/. It happened at the right time, Ren finally admitting his feelings for those that he cares about instead of internalizing them and pushing those people away as he has been with Nora. It’s a natural evolution of his powers. He can mask emotions to protect others from the Grimm, and now that he can take it off he can see beneatht he masks of others. Harriet and Elm’s rage. Vine’s uncertainty (I’m assuming anyways based on what happens later). Marrow’s sadness. Winter’s collection of so many different colored petals, reflecting the war that she is having with herself. Now that Ren is beginning to open up, he can now help others do the same. Semblances reflect the on using them, and I think this says a lot about what Ren is truly meant to be and will be in the future.

Schnee Manor

Now we get to the meat of this post. Let’s go over the events in War first. While our heroes are safe at Schnee Manor, they’re conflicted on what to do. May wants to, and by Dark does, go back to Mantle since things are just as bad there and they don’t have the military to save them. Weiss however? She wants to help Atlas. Despite everything, Atlas is still Weiss’ home and there are still family and innocent people that she wishes to save. She’s a Huntress, that’s her job. May however? Her family dismissed her when she was their son, and she made it very clear that she is in no way their daughter. Which first, that was a brilliant way to add that representation. Kdin confirmed that May was Transgender last volume, but now we have undeniable proof in the show itself and it was perfectly delivered. She also makes a good point, Mantle has no protection. The whole reason that RWBY went against Ironwood was that he chose to leave Mantle to die. At this point, it does seem like the heroes can have it both ways. It worked in the past, but not here. Not anymore. But even May admits as she leaves that at this point, there might not be anythign left to do for either city. It’s just… bleak. Even moreso than in V3.

This of course hits Ruby. Normally, her optimism and hope carry her through. It was practically what got the heroes through V6 alive and well. But now? No. Even she can’t deny how bad things have gotten. When she and Blake go to turn on the backup generator, it’s clear how conflicted she is. She wants to help everyone. She chose to send the message because it seemed like the best chance to save everyone. But the longer that she waits, the more unlikely it all seems. She’s becoming utterly overwhelmed. Honestly, with how 2020 went, I find this very relatable. You w\see all the suffering caused by COVID and the horror of the police brutality against Black people and so many other awful things we’re still in the midst of. You want to do something. You want to help everyone and want things to just be okay. But when you do, all of it weighs down on you because you simply can’t help everyone. As Klein said, you can only focus on what’s in front of you first. You feel helpless, scared, maybe even angry. But we’re only human. We can only do what we can a step at a time in whatever way we can, even if it’s just being a shoulder to lean on. It’s at least something.

This leads to something that I have practically been begging CRWBY to do for years now, have Blake comfort her. We’ve had very scarce Ruby and Blake interactions, but it’s always been pretty clear that Blake trusts Ruby and has followed her lead faithfully more or less since the team formed. I think it was very fitting for Blake to be the one who reached out to her as it calls back to when they first talked in Volume 1. Back when Ruby expressed her love of books and wanting to make the world better like the heroes that she would read about. How Blake admired her goal but also viewed it as rather childish. Considering everything with the Faunus oppression, the White Fang, and of course Adam, who could blame her? But Ruby gave her hope. Ruby got her to see that they can make the world better. That despite everything, it’s their job to protect everyone and to move forward. Ruby’s been able to push them ahead so much, and they all still need her. It’s what Ruby needed to hear and it shows how far that both girls have come since those early days at Beacon. Which since this happened in the 100th episode, was very fitting.

Now I’m not gonna say too much about The Hound here. The entire fight scene was awesome and the thing stalking through the Schnee Manor? It somehow felt more horrifying than The Apathy did in Volume 6. How do you manage that?! Whitley and Willow ultimately killing it via the armor was also pretty cool and it’s nice to see the civilian characters getting involved, showing that they don’t have to be helpless like with the ship captain and crew back in Volume 4. Then the final revelation, that The Hound was not only human but had Silver Eyes… yeah Ruby’s reaction could not be more justified. I’m gonna go into my thoughts more in the 11-12 review since Ruby goes more into her feelings there. But the revelations that this one scene caused… yeah, it’s added a whole new level of horror to not just Salem, but the Grimm as a whole. It’s kind of a bummer that The Hound was killed off and it just feels so soon, but with how so much is going on at this point… yeah I’m gonna forgive it especially since the death still leaves a lot to think about in the future.

So let’s talk Schnee family! First, Willow. I like how they handled her here. She’s an anxious mess, which makes complete sense. She has to keep forcing herself to not drink, but without that coping mechanism, she’s so anxious that she ends up running out of Weiss’ room in utter panic. Fortunately, she’s still able to get her act together enough to be of help. She uses the security cameras to warn Weiss and keep an eye on The Hound. Which also allows her to see it heading for Whitley. But instead of waiting on Weiss and since Whitley understandably doesn’t want to listen to her, she does the right thing: act like a mother and save her child. Including actually using her Glyphs to summon a Boarbutusk. Yes, Willow. In a jam-packed volume like this, it’s nice to see these bits of character development for even the minor characters and it was done well here.

Then we have Whitley. I’m gonna admit it, it feels like his change is pretty rushed, but again we have about a million other things going on. Plus I guess the worst situations can bring out the best in people. That’s certainly the case here. He over-hears RWB and May talking and decides to call Klein, who is apparently a doctor, not only a butler (the temptation to NOT make an ‘I’m a doctor, not an X’ joke after getting into Star Trek is REALLY hard XD) to treat Nora. Which Weiss’ reaction to seeing him and him not at all blaming her for being fired was just beautiful. But it’s Whitley making a decision. Not due to his father’s influence. Not to get Weiss’ attention. He did it because Nora needed help and it was simply the right thing to do. The fact that he acted independently makes Weiss so happy that she hugs him. It surprises Whitley… but you can tell that he’s happy about it.

I think that really encouraged Whitley. Jaques isn’t there anymore. There’s no one controlling his fate anymore. It doens’t matter if Whitley defies him now, Jaques can’t do a thing about it. It’s Whitley who realizes that they have the resources and ability to send supplies and help to Mantle. It’s him who goes to his father’s office to get the process underway. Even when The Hound comes in, he still makes sure to give the authorization before making a run for it. With the fear of his father gone and Weiss showing more support, Whitley is showing that he’s not a bad person. He was very much like his sister was; someone trapped and forced to succumb to the toxic influences to survive. He didn’t have the support that Weiss did, nor the skills that either of his sisters had that let them escape. But he’s taking those steps now. He has an attitude still, but he’s kind of where Volume 1-3 Wess was; a major brat but one very much on their way to improving. If Whitey ends up taking over whatever remains of the SDC or outright remakes it, I think that he’ll be a fine leader while his sisters continue as Huntresses.

Finally, we come to Penny. I should probably talk about Nora as well, but since Chapter 11 is when she expresses how she feels ike how Ruby does, I’m going to hold off until then As far as Penny goes… God, I… it just hurts. Knowing how this ultimately will end only makes it more painful to go back through. But just as Chapter 5 made it look like Penny would finally be allowed to choose for herself, Watts ruins all of it. This is a girl who is utterly trapped. Ironwood bound her down by isolating her and then forcing the protection of a whole city on her. Pietro, while well-meaning, was over-protective and allowing that to keep Penny held by her strings. He let go… and look at how it ended. The Maiden Powers, while something that Penny accepted, now has her targeted on all sides and she can’t escape them while bound tot he responsibilities that come with it. Now we have Watts’ virus and despite her best efforts, she can’t stop it.

It’s just… heart-wrenching. Especially when Nora wakes up and calms her down by reminding her that whatever is trying to take over is only a part of her, not the whole being. It works… for a few moments. But in the end, all that Penny can do is succumb. This girl truly has no control over anything. Not over her own life. Not over the abilities that she possesses. And now not even over her own mind and body. She keeps having her strings yanked back and forth, wanting to just snap them off but all her limbs are held in place so she can’t. Watching her act utterly robotic, blankly describing how she will open the Vault then self-terminate… it’s just so wrong. Not to mention her coming dangerously close to being carted off to Salem with only Ruby managing a Silver Eyes blast saving her. It was hard to watch back when these premiered but after the finale? It’s just… it’s just so cruel.

Both of these chapters were excellent. War is mainly a setup chapter and ho boy the event that it sets up for… Chapter 9 is gonna be fun to talk about! But it also had plenty of pay-offs, especially for Ren and great moments like May’s scene, Salem conducting the Grimm, and it just captures the bleakness yet determination of our heroes perfectly. Then Dark… boy is that chapter title appropriate. Again great moments like the Ruby and Blake talk, the entire fight sequence, and probably the most horrifying revelation thus far. There’s some minor stuff like the jailbreak as well that made RWBY’s 100th chapter, as well as the chapter to kick off the return after the six-week hiatus, a thrill to watch. That's not even going into Alex Abraham's spectacular score, especially when the big reveal/death of The Hound happens. Just... it's just perfect. It can feel like there’s just so much going on that it gets hard to keep up with at times… but to be fair, that’s how our heroes feel as well, so I supposed that’s appropriate.

Chapter Stats

War

Favorite Character: Lie Ren

Favorite Scene: Ren unlocking his emotion-reading power

Least Favorite Scene: RWB sipping tea. It’s not a bad scene, but them just kind of standing by while the chaos is going on… it just feels a tad out of place.

Favorite Voice Actor: Kdin Jenzen (May Marigold)

Favorite Animation: Salem conducting the Grimm attack.

Rating: 8/10

Dark

Favorite Character: Ruby Rose

Favorite Scene: Ruby and Blake talk

Least Favorite Scene: I got nothing. Everything here was perfect.

Favorite Voice Actor: Arryn Zeck (Blake) and Jason Liebrecht (The Hound)

Favorite Animation: As horrifying as it was, The Hound reveal.

Rating: 10/10

Final Thoughts

When I watched these, all I could really do was stare wide-eyed. Even though I knew that this volume was going to be intense, somehow I wasn’t prepared for any of it. Certainly not for everything in these chapters. But all of it was just so freakin’ good. Does it feel emotionally draining? Yes. It was a big part of why I’m only getting to these several months later. But was it still worth watching? Absolutely. Compare Dark to the first chapter of Volume 1. RWBY has come such a long way. A lot of things both good and bad have happened in between, but it’s still going and I plan to be here until the bitter end. With quality like this, it gives me a good reason to stick around. So six more chapters/three reviews to go.

(Image Sources)

[firemblem-fics]

Sylvain’s s/o has been training with horses to impress him but he thinks she’s avoiding him so he spies on her and accidentally scares the horse when he reveals himself, getting her thrown from the horse and maybe injured? :”)

horse girl. | sylvain

hi i wasn't going to post today since i was at a party but the friends i went home with are all asleep and i can't so i wrote this

please enjoy im kinda proud of this one

“Are you sure about this? I’m not the best with horses-” 

“Do you trust me or not?” Ingrid interrupted you, “I said that I’d help you. I know Sylvain- he’ll love this.” 

You looked at her worriedly but soon turned back towards the horse, brushing its cream-colored mane. You pressed your lips into a thin line and mounted the horse, getting used to the feeling of being on the saddle as Ingrid held onto a lead. She began moving the horse around slowly as you held on for dear life. After a few more rounds, you dismounted and walked towards the stables. 

You put the horse up and took off it's saddle, turning around to put it up. 

“Fancy seeing you here, huh?” 

A voice made you jump, nearly dropping the saddle. “Sylvain,” you breathed out, “What brings you here?” 

“You do, actually,” He laughed, “You haven’t talked to me in a few days. I was starting to think I did something wrong.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, waving your hands. ‘No, you didn’t do anything wrong. I’ve- I’ve just been busy, is all.”

“Busy? Then why are you here instead of working?”

Your mind scrambled to find an excuse, You couldn’t tell him the truth, obviously. 

“I have stable duty.”

“Really? I thought today was Ashe and Ingrid’s turn-”

“Ingrid had to help Felix with, uh, something. So I took her job. Ashe already left.”

Sylvain shrugged, believing you. “Huh, okay. Well, if you’re not mad at me then I guess I’m okay. See you around, (Nickname).”

“Yeah,” you sighed as he turned away, “See you around.”

--- --- --- 

The trail was quiet, save for the idle chatter that you and Ingrid were engaging in. 

A week had passed since she started giving you riding lessons and you had improved substantially. You were extremely happy and you were sure the poor horse you had been training with was too. No more mistakes that couldn’t be quickly fixed. You had originally begun learning how to ride a horse in order to impress Sylvain. It would give you another reason to talk to him- maybe to learn riding tips or something. But now you simply enjoyed it. 

You enjoyed feeling the wind in your hair, hearing your best friend laugh as she rode beside you, the thrill of riding. It was all amazing. Maybe you’d ask the professor to change your goal to cavalry- 

“What are you two doing out here?”

You screamed at the voice again, seeing a figure walk in front of you. You pulled at your horse’s reins, trying to make her avoid the person, but instead she reared up, bucking you onto the ground in the process. Pain blossomed in your back and head as you hit the dirt trail. It was all you could think about as you heard Ingrid and Sylvain talk to you. 

“(Y/N), can you hear me?” Ingrid asked. 

“Mmm,” you clenched your eyes shut, “Talk a little quieter.” 

“Sylvain,” She turned to him, “This is your fault. She’s probably got a concussion.”

“My fault? I just wanted to see why she was avoiding me-”

“Ask her after you help me take her to the infirmary.” She turned back to you, the tone of her voice getting softer, “Don’t fall asleep. Professor Manuela needs to check you.”

You only mumbled in response, feeling Sylvain pick you up and cradle you to his chest as he walked to the infirmary. The walk was hard-- Sylvain and Ingrid tried to keep a conversation going to keep you awake, but nothing worked. He was just so warm, and comfortable, and he smelled so good-

“Oh, Goddess! What happened?”

There goes your daydream. Manuela took you from his arms and laid you down on a bed, quickly grabbing a few tools to check your concussion. Eventually she was finished, deducing that you did, in fact, have one. You nearly groaned at the thought. Sure, you felt like shit, but all you could think about was how overbearing Ingrid was going to be as you recovered. 

Manuela looked at Sylvain as you covered your eyes with your arm, the light bothering you. “Will you take her back to her room?” She asked, “Close all the curtains and let no light in. Just make sure it doesn’t get worse, okay?”

Sylvain nodded and picked you up again, “Yes ma’am.”

As he closed the infirmary door, you lifted your head from his chest, your eyes still closed. “Y’know I can walk by myself,right?”

“Yeah,” Sylvain chuckled, “You’re literally swaying in my arms. You’re way too dizzy to walk.”

You only huffed, leaning back into his chest. If he wasn’t going to make you walk, then you certainly weren’t going to protest any further. “Fine.”

You got to your room all too soon and you nearly cried when Sylvain laid you down on your bed, tucking you in before closing the curtains. He fluffed your pillow before sitting on the edge of the bed. “So, why were you riding a horse in the first place? You’ve never ridden horses.”

You turned and buried your face in the pillow, mumbling out some words. 

“What was that?” He laughed. 

“It's embarrassing,” you whined.

“I’m sure it isn’t. Now c’mon.”

“I learned to have more things to talk about with you,” You faced him but still kept your eyes shut, partially from your headache but also from fear of Sylvain’s reaction. 

“You- what?”

“I learned to get closer with you, alright? I wanted us to have more in common so that I could get closer with you.”

Sylvain was baffled. You wanted to get closer to him? “But- but why?”

“Because I like you, you idiot.” Your face was red and your eyes were open, “But it doesn’t matter now, I’m sorry. Goddess, it’s creepy isn’t it?”

“No, no, no,” Sylvain tried to find his words, “It’s not creepy at all. If anything it’s flattering. But, why me? You know about my reputation. I might accidentally hurt you and I don’t want to do that.”

You sat up, ignoring the headache. “The fact that you’re worried about hurting me shows me that you won’t. If you’re self aware, then you can work towards not hurting me.” You cupped his face with your hands, “I trust you not to hurt me, Sylvain.”

He looked away, holding onto your wrists. “You- you don’t want me for my crest?”

You laughed, “Sylvain, remember how I didn’t know you had a crest until like last month?” He nodded, so you continued, “I liked you long before that. Even when I found out, my feelings never changed.”

Slowly, he meets your loving gaze. His own was worried and your heart hurts. You knew that he deserved someone who didn’t want his crest. He deserved someone to truly love him. To treasure him no matter what, crest or no crest. You wanted to be that. 

Carefully, you brought his face to yours. You pressed your lips against his in a gentle kiss, pulling away a little to let him leave if he wanted to. Instead, he held your arms in place again and kissed you back, a little harder this time. You smiled into the kiss and moved a hand to his hair, combing through it. You pulled back reluctantly and smiled at him before grimacing as a sharp pain shot through your head. 

“Are you alright?” Sylvain asked, letting you lay back down in the bed. When you nodded, he looked away from you again. “I’m sorry for scaring you and your horse like that. It was just- you hadn’t talked to me for like a week and I was starting to get scared that you hated me or that I did something wrong. I didn’t want you to be mad or leave me.”

You reached across the blankets, grabbing his hand and rubbing your thumb across it. “It’s okay. I’m honestly glad that you confronted me. I wouldn’t have had the courage to confess if we weren’t right here.”

Sylvain laughed and squeezed your hand. He leaned down to press a kiss to your forehead. “Get some rest. I’ll be here the whole time.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

[subtlereferencetomyinterests]

Complexities Unknowable- Chapter 4

Ao3, chapters  1   2   3   5,  MasterPost

Relationships: Deintruality, background Analogince

The plot of this was lowkey destroyed because apparently Patton and Janus are already somft, but that’s fine. I will continue to call Janus ‘Deceit’ throughout this entire fic to maintain consistency, just so you know. Also, this one’s a long boy, so strap in.

Warnings: Descriptions of gore/body horror (Remus stuff, nothing super bad), swearing, all sympathetic sides, lack of sleep, light arguing, food mention.

Word Count: 2,536

“Did he come back this morning? What did he say?”

“He didn’t do anything bad. Well, nothing super bad. I’m kinda getting used to it.”

“That’s worse!” Virgil was perched on the arm of the couch, staring up at Patton with troubled eyes. Beside him Roman and Logan sat together, the latter looking much less invested in the argument (though he was letting Virgil fidget with his fingers so as to avoid picking apart the threads of his hoodie). 

“It’s not so bad. I think he’s just looking for someone to talk to!” Well, it was like that by now. Patton knew that that wasn’t how it started. It had been about two and a half weeks since Remus had first started popping up to meet Patton before breakfast, and he’d grown quite accustomed to it. Deceit often showed up at night, but his schedule was more sporadic. They did their best to upset him, but the emotional side refused to be mean, no matter what they did! 

But then he’d found that, as their interactions continued, they got much less distressing. They were something else entirely. Odd enough that Patton couldn’t keep himself from telling his family any longer.

“Just ignore him; he’ll get bored.” Roman said tiredly.

“True; if you want them to stop bothering you, it’s best to just not give the two any attention,” Logan added, prompting Roman to give a proud little smile and hum. 

Patton shifted, taking a moment to respond. He wasn’t sure he wanted them to stop bothering him.

Remus grinned at Morality for the second day in a row as he walked into the kitchen. Today, his hand was pressed firmly against the hot stove, skin bubbling in plain view. 

“Oh! You’re back!” Patton forced a smile as he watched Remus nod and remove his red, blistering hand from the burner and heal himself instantly. 

“Yup! Happy to see me?”

Patton  inhaled deeply, pressing his hands against his face. Though his eyes were covered, he could hear Remus giggling to himself.

“Can I- Can I help you with something?” 

The Dark Side seemed to mull the question over for a moment, and then placed his hand back down on the active burner and shrugged. After getting bored with the stove trick, he sat up and grabbed a knife from the block and stabbed it down between each of his fingers repetitively. Patton stood awkwardly, unsure of what to do. In his own kitchen.

You know what? If Remus wanted to hang around while he made breakfast, then the more the merrier! Morality decided he could ignore the occasional tearing sound of a knife on flesh, putting on the coffee pot for when Logan and Virgil eventually woke up. 

He continued on for a while, making pancakes in relative silence. Until his company got bored. 

“Why do you do this every morning?”

“Make breakfast?” 

Remus nodded.

“I do it because it’s nice to do something nice for the other sides.”

“Yeah, but why?”

“They’re my family,” Patton answered with a smile. The Duke seemed to toss the answer around in his head for a minute.

“I mean, I can see how they’re each other’s family, cuz they’re fucking- what makes them your family, then?”

They’re sides like me, he could’ve said, but caught himself. We care about each other, was another answer that probably wouldn’t be great. So he didn’t say anything, faking distraction.

“If you were me,” Remus continued, voice dipping, “You’d know that family means a whole lot of nothing.”

The statement had that odd quality of recitation. He was quoting someone. The usual energy with which The Duke spoke was diminished, but before Patton could ask anything about it, footsteps rushed down the stairs and Remus was gone in a blink. 

Part of him was happy that they’d grown on him- because it proved that he wasn’t nasty or mean- but a much larger part was very, very guilty. He was so sure that they were that they were the mean ones, but now he couldn’t tell. He’d been wrong before.

Patton loved his ‘family’, he really did, but not the way they did each other. Truth be told, he’d also been looking for someone to talk to. 

“You’re back,” Patton acknowledged, his eyes barely open. Deceit didn’t look even a twinge sleepy, dressed as formally as he ever was and sitting with perfect posture. This was the fourth time.

“Don’t sound too excited, Morality,”

“Why are you here, again?” 

“Oh, I’m wounded. I can’t just stop by to see my favorite side?” 

Deceit had seemingly recovered from whatever had him acting less cruel in their previous interactions, but Patton couldn’t say that he was surprised. He wasn’t an idiot. If this was the game they were playing, then fine. Fine.

He paused the episode of Steven Universe he was rewatching and clicked back to The Good Place. It was the episode they’d left off on a few nights before. 

“What are you doing?” Deceit sounded surprised. Patton shot him a look.

“I’m putting on something we both like. It’s considerate. And don’t worry, I didn’t watch it without you.”

The reptilian beside him scoffed, but he didn’t say anything, so. Point for Patton.

They got through a full episode before Deceit spoke up again, pretending to inspect his nails through his gloves. 

“You’ve got quite the healthy sleep schedule.”

“You’re up too,” was the nicest way Morality could think to phrase, you’re one to talk, jerk.

“I have the self-respect to sleep in late. I absolutely abhor the nighttime, but I’m guessing you’ve got another reason being up so late. Isn’t that right?”

Patton paused the show. 

“You really wanna know?”

“Please, enlighten me.”

The goal here, it seemed, was to upset and confuse. And the best way to trip up deception was by being honest, truly and completely.

“I just need to not think. Just for a little while. It’s so hard not to think about all the not-great things I’ve done,” he’d never told anyone how bad it got at night. Maybe that’s what made it so easy to tell Deceit, to get some of the pressure off his shoulders with someone that wouldn’t look at him so pityingly. It was good to tell someone who wouldn’t care.

It was a while before Deceit replied.

“That was the first true thing you’ve said to me, I think. I suppose I should return the favor-” And Deceit looked at him, completely understanding, “Since you were so surprised to learn we found you unpleasant, Remus and I decided to show you why that was. In a way. But maybe that’s not what either of us need.”

Patton finally glanced up, eyes wide. The fact that it was some malicious plot was unsurprising. The second statement was both surprising and confusing. But Deceit wasn’t meeting his eyes, and it was far too late to try to pry anything more out of him. So they just watched TV. Together.

“Pat?”

Virgil’s voice broke him from his thoughts. Patton made sure that he was smiling before he looked up.

“Is there something you aren’t telling us? You’re kinda radiating anxiety right now, buddy,” Virgil’s face darkened, “Did they do something to you? So you won’t-”

“Or can’t,” Roman added.

“-Or can’t ask for help?” 

Patton appreciated the concern, but he couldn’t help it if the insinuation that they would control him made him wince a disgustedly. How could they really think that Deceit or Remus would do that? (he was pointedly ignoring the part of himself that thought they did things like that less than a month ago.)

That morning, when Remus swung down from the top of the fridge in his kraken-like form, Patton hardly blinked. He yawned, in fact, smiling sleepily. 

“G’morning.” 

Remus picked himself up off the floor and shapeshifted into his usual appearance, pouting. 

“Aww, you’re desensitized.”

To be fair, he’d done this every morning for the past two weeks. Patton was quite used to the company, but he still threw his hands up and gave a very fake scream for Remus’ sake. That turned Creativity’s expression right around to a grin and he bounced his shoulders in a laugh. It was oddly cute.

“Hey, I like this,” Remus announced, bending back the prongs of a fork. Morality smiled to cover up that he had no clue how to respond. He almost thought it was some kind of lure, and he wasn’t losing whatever this game was to them. But, Deceit had implied that whatever plan they had was disbanded. But Deceit was Deceit! But that moment had seemed so sincere, and honestly, he wanted to like this too-

“Your eggs are burning,” said Remus, right against his ear. Patton startled at the sudden proximity, and also at the fact that he was totally botching breakfast. Family breakfast.

“Shucks- Thanks-” he hastily took the pan off the heat, “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure, but you might not like the answer,” The Duke warned, likely having no idea what Patton was going to ask about but knowing it was applicable regardless.

“Why do you always leave when the others wake up?”

He scrunched up his face, pausing whatever it was he was doing with a spare handful of forks. Morality had noticed that his various disturbing activities had gradually gotten a lot less deliberately upsetting and a lot more like he was just trying to keep his hands busy while chatting. 

“‘Shucks’ is just a combination of shit and fuck,” he said instead of answering. 

“Language!” 

Patton let him change the subject; it wasn’t his business, anyway. Remus cackled- part relief but mostly genuine amusement- and carried on as though nothing had happened. Morality listened to him ramble, and looked over when Creativity wanted to show him some piece of art or his rapidly expanding silverware sculpture. Eventually, when footsteps filled the house and Remus was gone, Patton noticed an aching pain in his face. He quickly realized it hurt from how wide his smile had been.

Oh- maybe ‘desensitized’ wasn’t the right word for how he felt about the Dark Sides.

Morality was going to defend Remus and Deceit. Just like he’d defended Virgil to the others all those years ago, before everything (funny, that, and how the three of them ended up together. Maybe if traits listened to him more, they’d see he ended up right sometimes. And Patton hoped- believed- he was right about this).

“I don’t need help, and they didn’t hurt me! Honestly, they may be a little eccentric, but they aren’t… evil.” 

Three sides gazed incredulously at Patton. He couldn’t blame them, for as soon as he said it he could only hear it as something someone else would be telling him. He remained unwavering regardless.

“Well, of course they aren’t; they are sides of Thomas like the rest of us, and naturally they strive to do what they think is best for him. But, their methods and wants are unrealistic at best and extremist at worst, so it is fair that we’d be concerned.”  

Virgil grumbled low in his throat, looking slightly mollified. 

“I- well- yeah, I just don’t want Patton getting in over his head.”

“What now?”

It was the first night since their last weirdly emotional conversation, and though Remus showed up everyday, Morality had almost thought it was the last he’d seen of Deceit. He was relieved it wasn’t, and his question really wasn’t meant to come out that way.

“You totally don’t just have to ask me to leave. It’s not like I’m no longer here on false pretenses- wait, not no longer- I confused myself,” while he was trying to parse out his own words, Patton let out a slightly surprised laugh. 

“No, it’s alright, I- um, I’m used to you guys being around.” 

The inaccuracy of the word “desensitized” once again flashed in his mind as he saw Deceit tamp down a smile, barely hiding the way his fangs peeked out. 

“Well, I still haven’t seen the series finale of The Good Place, so I might as well stay,” he drawled in feigned indifference. 

“The show just wouldn’t be the same without your running commentary,” Patton playfully nudged the liar’s shoulder.

They watched half of season four in one sitting. 

Patton ran a hand down his face and groaned, earning a concerned look from his best friend. 

“I’ll tell you if I need help, I promise. But I need you to trust me that, right now, I’m okay.”

“I trust you,” Virgil replied without hesitation, “It’s them I don’t trust.”

“Well, why not?” 

Logan and Roman exchanged knowing looks while Anxiety tensed his shoulders. He huffed, eyes downcast.

“I mean… it’s not exactly a secret that I didn’t leave on great terms. I wouldn’t be surprised if they still had it out for, like, all of us, due to association. Especially considering-” he gestured to Roman, who gave a solemn nod. Patton briefly reflected on the terrible fact that nobody in his life could communicate effectively (including himself (wow, maybe some of Deceit’s bitterness was rubbing off on him)). 

“That’s a risk I’m willing to take if it means there’s a chance that we’ll all come out of this for the better!” At this point it was unlikely that there was any risk, but arguing with his family made his head hurt.

“If you think you can get them to be cooperative, then I’m all for it. Our current state isn’t exactly sustainable in the long term, so we’d better resolve the issue sooner rather than later,” Logan said.

“It would be nice to not have to worry about those guys all the time, I guess. If you really think you can get them under control,” Virgil shifted uncomfortably. 

“Yes- but if they do get out of hand, I will take care of them for you, Padre!” Roman flew to his feet with a self-assured smirk, eyes blazing like he could see the scene before him as he summoned his sword. 

“That...  is very sweet. I’ll keep that in mind, Ro,” Morality gently patted his arm, subtly trying to guide the sword out of its path of destruction. 

As the conversation lulled, Patton made his escape, calling out an excuse of making lunch. 

As Patton tidied his work space, his eyes flicked over the counters. He spotted a disheveled black sketchbook that lay forgotten by the stove, its cover swallowed by stickers and doodles which were unmistakably Remus’. 

That morning, The Duke had wandered in and pushed himself up onto the counter, holding out his sketchbook wordlessly, a smile on his face. It was routine by that point, but Patton was still ecstatic every time he got to see the art. While it was horrifying almost all the time, his love of drawing overpowered his disgust and he couldn’t help but shower the pictures with compliments (seeing the way Remus’ usual manic expression softened with appreciation was also a bonus).

After peeking his head around the corner to ensure that the rest of the sides were sufficiently distracted, Patton grabbed the lost leatherbound book and sank out to return it. 

Taglist:

@deceits-left-glove​ @princemesscharming @shrimp-crockpot