#hope he doesn’t die

[awoogayanderes]

WISHING OSAMU DAZAI HAPPY BIRTHDAY OVER THE YEARS

➪ warnings : mentions of suicide and scars, kinda nihilistic, one reference of intimacy, non sexual nudity

➪ other notes : YALL KNOW I HAD TO WRITE SOMETHING FOR MY MAN !!! made it a bit angsty too, also some of this is not canon like oda dying before dazai turns 18

osamu dazai never saw his birthday as important. why should he ? it was the start of his life where he believed nothing mattered. for the first 14 years of his life, he saw his purpose as useless, always seeing the world in black and white, he’s a gray person afterall. he met you around the time of his most previous suicide attempt before joining the mafia. you were just a stray orphan mori picked off the street to use as his assistant. bless your soul.

you found out his birthday by accident almost two years later, going through mori’s old patients files. june 19. despite dazai’s absorbed personality, he had never mentioned his birthday. you wondered if he would be offended if you wished him happy birthday when he turned 16. nothing ever stopped you from pushing your limits though. “happy birthday dazai,” you use his surname, not being fully familiarized with the young man.

wide eyes looked at you as you walked off. despite him knowing you for almost two years, that was the first time you actually caught his attention. he knew you served as one of the doctors in the mafia, you had access to his file though he never expected you to remember it. that’s what started your friendship, him lingering around you more often even when you were with other patients in need. he always found those who help others interesting.

he starts to trust you when he’s soon to turn 17. dazai starts inviting you to bar lupin, sometimes alone and sometimes with oda and ango. he doesn’t know how to feel about you, he doesn’t want a relationship with you at that time but he also doesn’t just view you as a friend. “happy birthday dazai,” you smile at him despite still using his surname as a formality. later that day, you, ango, oda, and dazai are at bar lupin. that’s when you make a toast for the bandaged man wishing him a good birthday.

the year he was turning 18 was the most difficult year of all. it was the year where all hell broke loose between dazai and mori as well as you and mori. he had told you before his birthday that he was going to spend it like he did last year with you, oda, and ango. that was until oda died. that same evening, he held his hand out to you pleading for you to leave the mafia with him. so you did, a decision made in a matter of seconds with little hesitation.

you didn’t celebrate his birthday, you knew he was in pain that he had lost two of his friends who he held dearly. “happy birthday osamu,” you say softly from the small couch of your small shared home. he had been gone the whole day, you even almost missed the chance of congratulating him. he sat next to you, almost immediately leaning into your touch where you wrapped your arms around him. even though he was turned away from you, his sniffles could be heard. you slept in that position for the rest of the night.

despite the connection you and dazai had, you were still friends by the time he turned 19. despite him still having drinking habits, he seemed more in touch with the world. deeming it safe enough to do something for him, you bought him a beige trench coat that would reach his ankles, a replacement for the one mori gave him whilst in the mafia. you lit the candle on a decently big cupcake you bought as his keys jangled on the door. “happy birthday osamu,” you smiled presenting the cupcake.

he was caught off guard like the first time you wished him happy birthday. he smiled before blowing out the candle. when you handed him the trench coat, he looked at you before stepping closer and putting a hand on your cheek. time froze for you as he leaned forward planting a chaste kiss on your lips. that was the first time any action out of friendship happened between both of you. it’s safe to say that you weren’t just friends after this moment.

whilst in a positive work environment, both of you start shaping your own mentality. as dazai was turning 20, you thoroughly realized how much love he lacked. so you wanted to make sure he knew he was appreciated. you bought him pink carnations, even baked a cake from scratch. there weren’t a lot of things dazai genuinely wanted, but that day he realized he wanted your love as you present the cake and carnations, “happy birthday ‘samu,” you smile brightly as he brings you into a tight hug.

your relationship got more closer, emotionally and intimately by the time he turned 21. this time instead of letting you do something you believed he wanted, he went to you and asked you to bathe him and change his bandages for the first time on his birthday. you could have cried from joy when he asked for that at one in the morning. “happy birthday ‘samu, love you,” you say quietly but smiling, helping him strip of his clothes and eventually his bandages.

this was the first time you saw him without his bandages, scars in some places, some uneven skin tones, but still your dazai. you scrub at his hair softly with shampoo with his eyes closed. he’s completely vulnerable but he’s relaxed. you later help him change his bandages, his humming is the only thing that prevents silence. when you’re done, there’s a small smile on his face, a genuine one, conveying gratitude. you didn’t judge him, you were patient.

there was a small festival nearby where you live that was the night before dazai was turning 22. dazai suggested going, so here you were, both of you in cultural wear walking around the bright festival with your arms interloped. as the festival was coming to an end, you both sat on some grass nearby as fireworks exploded into the night sky. “happy birthday sweetheart, i love you,” you said, using a delicate nickname for someone like him. you both leaned into each other as colors bursted into the sky.

he never told you this but every time you had him blow out a candle and make a wish on his birthday, he never did. he already had what he wanted, you. you and your love. you and your kindness. you and your affection. you always made him seem like he was deserving of your love, even he believes it now. the only thing he could wish for now is that you both stay together forever even in the after life and future lives. osamu dazai never saw his birthday as important, not until he met you.

[puppyeared]

Design notes (+ a little Portal clownery)

[turtleblogatlast]

[ cw: violence mention / death mention / ]

Will never stop thinking about how Leo, all alone in an endless void and being beaten again and again and again by the only other living thing around, still finds comfort in that space. The situation he was in was completely hopeless, and in any other circumstances he would not have escaped, at least not fast enough to save him from permanent (or even fatal) damage, be it physical or mental.

And yet, despite the bleakness of his situation, despite the agony and helplessness, all he needs is one glance at a crumbled photograph, one glance to remember his family, and that’s enough of a reason for him to smile.

Maybe that’s why his powers center around manipulating space - because no matter how much space is between them, no matter how dire his own situation may be, just the thought of his family, alive and okay, is enough to give Leo hope.

[crowskullls]

Zam wants to be ♠️ with Minute SOOOOO bad. And Minute has no idea why. He’s so confused by it. Reluctant and honestly pretty tame Kismesissitude

[bardockarts]

fulcrum from yesterday, when I was having an anxiety hell weekend I (re)started IDW and fell in love with this dude

[coconut530]

LET THE DIVORCE ENSUE

[chellodello]

Yeah well, he’s baby so.

So I finally got around to reading @treel’s wonderful fic Éxtasis this last weekend and I’m just going to assume this is how it’s going to resolve until the next update comes out.

[avirxy]

beauty and beast au but Claire’s the one cursed because she’s the only one I can see literally pissing a sorceress off enough to get cursed. (If we’re going off the original movie Jim would probably offer them a hot meal and a room for the night, knowing him he’d make everything super accommodating)

[whoknowsnugget]

errrrrrrrrrrr the sillies, i sure hope they don’t get subjected to the horrors!!!

[whoblewboobear]

I need to know what levels Jace and Porter are I’m begging Brennan pls I need to know for science (fanfic)

[freckledgeto]

too many men in jjk my gawd give me some women

[chaotic-fandom-hoarder]

Minor DOAI spoilers maybe? Idk whether or not this counts, but I’m marking it as such for safety

Listening to the DOAI soundtrack (which you should all go watch, Lyra cooked on it!!! It’s good!) and I noticed something. Alex William’s theme is titled “A Voice Gone Unheard”. The theme that plays when Lankmann’s face is revealed is called “The Voice That Silences”.

… I don’t think this bodes well for Alex’s fate, guys. Just a hunch. Alongside everything else that we know, I don’t think this man is making it to the end of the series.

[legobenkenobi]

if Cody dies in Bad Batch season 2 then he dies in Bad Batch season 2 and there isn’t anything we can do about it. but if he does, it better fucking hurt.

and i don’t mean like a sad scene, i mean genuinely painful.

i mean the Batch’s eyes widening, i mean Hunter whispering “Cody”, i mean Omega recognizing his name but being confused because she’s never seen any of her family so shaken. i mean Echo freezing, i mean Hunter being completely at a loss as how to get him down without killing him, i mean Tech trying to get the medbay up and running but it’s no use because they can’t get Cody back there. i mean last ditch plans, i mean Rex being a string of heartbroken curses as he tries to get Cody to wake the fuck up and none of it is fucking working but no one is giving up because that’s Cody, that’s their older brother, that’s the guy that took them under his wing and gave each of them a shot and never ever gave up on them, so they can’t give up on him now.

i mean Cody’s nose bleeding with how hard he’s trying to fight the chip. i mean Cody crying without realizing it because he’s in there, somewhere, and he doesn’t want to be doing any of this

i mean Rex yelling about Obi-Wan, actually fucking name dropping him, as a last resort because Cody loved that man so deeply it wasn’t even rational but it was real and Rex knew that. i mean recognition flashing over Cody’s face for a second, his gun dipping slightly, and everyone thinking it worked, and then his face hardens and he says “Obi-Wan Kenobi was a traitor, just like the rest of the Jedi. he got what he deserved. now you will too.”

i mean complete silence as they bury him because they couldn’t even help him even though he helped all of them so many times.

if Cody is going to die, it better be heartbreak served to us on a fucking silver platter and i will accept nothing less than that.

[bitterseaproduction]

Aemond getting his eye or forcing Luke to give it to him, only for the wound to become infected and Luke’s bedridden and delirious and going through what will probably be a slow, agonizing death among mostly strangers in enemy territory while Aemond is just there like🧍

[densitywell]

everyone: wow episode 69 was so fun the curse is broken :) they really needed that break

me thinking about Orym saying "see you soon" to Will's grave:

[theshadowrealmitself]

DP au where Danny’s by himself before and after the portal accident, and Danny doesn’t ever really make that connection of being a “half ghost,” the kid grew up with comic books and movies and video games about superheroes, so afterwards, when he’s floating and see-through and stuff, he makes the connection: lab accident = superpowers

But he still doesn’t want anyone to know because of all the harmful rhetoric that his parents have spread about ghosts, and what does that say about him, that he’s now “like” them (so still halfa angst but less severe cause he doesn’t know)

So he doesn’t tell anyone anything and starts a life of being a vigilante by himself, constantly worried about his secret identity getting out

Mainly because I want there to be a scene where someone finally reveals Danny (because he’s masquerading as a human vigilante so of course everyone knows there must be a secret identity) just to reveal. a fucking ghost.

(Meanwhile Danny’s panicking thinking this is the end of his secret, not realizing that people are shocked because he’s a GHOST?? they’re not connecting him to Danny Fenton at all)