#hope this doesnt destroy my sleep schedule

[shion2nd]

got myself a honeycomb latte even though its already 6pm.. seemed so exquisite i just had to try

[grishde]

typical kalannar sketch from me today

[lettuce-seize-the-day]

it is 2 in the morning, i have to be a professional at a place before 8 in the morning, then i have a dentist appt in the afternoon, then dance class all evening. so like. i really need to fucking sleep. but. i can't

[greentrickster]

@someoddmix    #whoops! guess we'll need a new piano #FHKDKAHFJFKKSKD OOPS XD #TACKING ON THE SINCERE REQUIREMENT REALLY FUCKED UP VOLO LMAOOOOOOO #CONGRATS VOLO! CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT IS REQUIRED NOW #VOLO GOT CHECKMATED! IMPOTENT RAGE! XD #Volo absolutely LOSING IT over the AUDACITY AND STUPIDITY OF THIS REQUEST!! #HFJLAKFJJDS I FEEL YOU ARCEUS THIS IS SO FREAKING FUNNY!!! #GOOD JOB CYRUS!!! #hfjdkhf Cyrus has no idea that he just endeared himself to Arceus even more #he doesnt want anything for himself so he ensures Volo will apologize to Arceus' child Giratina? #AND the sincerity bit lines up quite nicely with the intent of Volo's punishment??? #10/10 Cyrus and fellow gym trainers!! you knocked this out of the park! #'free will is definitely the best idea they EVER had!!'

That feeling when you play so hard you play yourself. Because this entire situation is a direct result of Volo’s own actions, up to and including the character/redemption arc Cyrus is currently on! Because if Volo hadn’t been messing around with time and space, Cyrus would still be in Distortion World with all his memories and very little character development, if any. And Cyrus wasn’t even trying to cause him problems, he was just trying to make sure that Giratina didn’t get some weak lip-service apology! XD XD XD

(And yes, Cyrus earned himself some major points with Arceus that day, for both the growth and kindness he displayed and for accidentally being the funniest person in existence for a moment; he even earned a few with Dialga and Palkia for the sheer pwnage he just laid down on Volo. They may still not be thrilled with him, but dang if that wasn’t satisfying!)

Meanwhile Volo is seething, because not only did he just get played by the guy he was nudging to get in trouble himself, it was obviously unintentional. And now he has to live with this, and also with Cynthia laughing herself sick over it when she finds out what Cyrus asked for (Cyrus just moved himself solidly into her good books with this one).

@someoddmix   LMAO #heck yeah check in with your therapist and get some dinner Cyrus! you did good! here's hoping for some peace! #thunder badge hard mode! #aaaawww it felt like coming home?? ;A;

It absolutely did, and Cyrus didn’t expect it to, and he had Many Emotions as a result. Thank Arceus for his cap, cap brims are known for being excellent tools for hiding one’s face while Emotions are occurring. Red provides shoulder pats and pretends he can’t see Cyrus blushing (from both embarrassment and happiness) even with his cap brim pulled down - thus is the bond between hat-wearers. In any case, there’s a reason he’s in such a good space when Cynthia finally shows up to ruin everything. (Sorry, Cynthia, I love you, please don’t destroy me.)

Cyrus’s therapist is just... so stressed whenever he goes to Distortion World, because, “Cyrus, I know it’s easier to ignore sometimes, but you really do need to eat and sleep on a regular schedule to help keep your depression manageable, and especially take your medication regularly.”

Cyrus: Okay, but in Distortion World literally none of that applies?

This does not soothe her, so they’ve compromised that, for now at least, he does a quick check-in whenever he gets back after spending more than a day there, and also that he has a proper meal as soon as he’s able to. His therapist and Blue also both insist he take snacks and water with him whenever he goes.

Cyrus: This really isn’t necessary.

Blue: In the ancient words of my ancestors, ‘Hydrate or die-drate.”

Cyrus: -_-* (takes a water bottle and snacks, but under protest)

And fortunately things do quiet down for awhile after this in Viridian, and the rest of the League season is pretty uneventful (at least, uneventful in regards to the sort of nonsense that just happened. There was that twelve-year-old who came through with a level eighty dugtrio and nothing else on their team. That was... memorable.)

After the season’s over, all the gym trainers tend to take it quiet for a month or so after before starting to focus on what they do off-season until the next year’s hopefuls start showing up again. Cyrus tends to help around Blue’s lab and make deliveries around town - it’s something he started doing while he was recovering, and it just sort of turned into his thing, especially since he has some pokemon that are good for traveling.

This year, as well as his final paycheque for the season, Cyrus also gets an- wait, just a second.

(quick trip to Bulbapedia to check out the details on Blue’s umbreon)

...according to the data I can find, Blue doesn’t ever have an umbreon in any of the games, that’s an anime-exclusive characteristic of Gary Oak. Huh.

...

Anyway! (crumples this up and tosses it in with other bits of canon I don’t care about) Blue’s Umbreon, who is an awesome girl with a quirky nature whom he loves very much and had since he was ten, wasn’t in his rotation for gym battles this year and took the opportunity to have some ‘her’ time and also a couple eggs as a result. And Blue gifts one of the eevees that recently hatched from them to Cyrus as a bit of a bonus for keeping going and managing well in spite of the screwballs life kept throwing him. Also, while they aren’t the strongest fighters, eevees are really easy to train as therapy pokemon, and Blue thinks that Cyrus might find that helpful.

Important question: Has Blue been testing the waters to see if Cyrus would be interested in this sort of thing since Volo and Cynthia left?

Important answer: Yes, yes he has, because Blue’s a good friend, trainer, and pokemon caretaker like that.

Though it’s funny as heck that the eevee he gives Cyrus ends up being umbreon’s first shiny child, but she was the one with the best nature for a therapy animal, so Blue rolled with it. (Besides, if it goes to Cyrus, then he can still track her growth and such to learn more about how shinys grow, develop, and possibly occur in the first place.) A sweet little thing with a gentle nature, she’s the sort that tricks people into thinking, ‘oh, x will be an easy keeper,’ only for that to turn out to generally not be the case. As the first new member of the team in... anyone’s memory, she’s a pretty exciting addition, especially considering that she’s not going to be primarily trained for battle. And for now she’s a li’l level one eevee who’s not old enough for a pokeball yet and needs to be carried around and cuddled a lot, because baby.

Note: crobat is not allowed alone with her, because, while his intentions are good, he will try to incubate her, and he’s 5′11″ and she’s not even her full foot tall yet, she will be an eevee pancake, and no one wants that. (It’s okay, he can still help cuddle the baby, he just needs someone to supervise him getting his wings all folded up and then tucking her into them.) Also, the entire team has had a conference without Cyrus’s input and agreed that, if anyone hurts the baby, death is the only option. Master Cyrus takes care of them, and she’s going to be taught to take care of him, so they’re going to take care of her.

Cyrus is literally the only one surprised when she eventually evolves into a sylveon. ;)

And, for now, he’s got a fluffy little eevee he’s carrying around in his arms or a backpack while he does stuff! (Thanks again to @pyrathepyro for suggesting Cyrus’s therapy pokemon be an sylveon, absolutely inspired!)

[ineedsleepleavemealone]

Some random headcannons

(I ship erasermic so some of these relate to that)

I guess this also needs a warning: some more mature things if you squint hard enough

Also the ships in this are: erasermic, kiribaku, tododeku, and a tiny tiny bit of momojiro (sorry if I forgot one)

~ Mic is actually kinda sad and breaks down alot when hes alone because of the stress he goes through, aizawa is the only one he will break down infront of ~ ~ Aizawa secretly loves giving mic piggyback rides. Change. My. Mind. ~ ~ Bakugo is nicest and softest when he is sleepy, and more open with his feelings when he is tired (especially to kiri, I ship them too😭✋) ~ ~ When sero cooks or cleans he will put on spanish music and dance to it. ~ ~ Dabi is kinky™️ ~ ~ Dabi will tease e v e r y o n e ~ ~ Dabi makes up stories of how he got burnt, like: Twice: so- uh how did all this go down * gesturing to scars * Dabi: oh, while sneezing Twice: but how does tha- Dabi: *sneezes and uses his fire* Twice: oH- ~ ~ When 1-a all become pro heroes, deku will wear everyone's merch ~

~ When bakugo is working out, when he does push ups he will get kirishima to lay on him for "additional weight" (we see you bakugo👀👀) ~ ~ Shoto can make snowflakes with his quirk. I. Rest. My. Case. ~ ~ shoto likes dancing in the rain or snow, well not dance just like being with deku ~ ~ Shoto will make little things out of ice and give them to deku (all might figures👀👀) ~ ~ Occasionally in the dorms everyone in 1-a has a movie night ~ ~ Ojiros tail wags when hes happy ~ ~ This is cannon because I've seen the official art, but I hc that bakugo likes animals and animals love him cause he smells like caramel and his hands are warm ~ ~ One word for aoyama. S e l f i e s ~

~ Shoto didnt know how to ride a bike so when they all moved into the dorms 1-a taught him ~ ~ When bakugo walks into the dorms common area he says stuff like "it smells like bitch in here" and "ughhh if I stay in here to long the bitchyness might affect me" ~ ~ All the girls in 1-a: sleepovers™️ but every time mineta will try to get in lmao. It. Never. Works. ~ ~ Shotos birthday present to everyone is endeavors credit card number😂he will also go clothes shopping with all the girls just because he can use endeavors credit card ~ ~ Tokoyami is actually really good at drawing and loves writing poetry ~ ~ Bakugo is the oldest in 1-a which is cannon. I feel like he would be the type to brag that he's the oldest and would use it as an excuse to do what he wants ~ ~ The dekusquad and bakusquad have groupchats ~ ~ Bakusquad play video games together and eat pizza together all the time ~ ~ The dekusquad gc consists of iida talking about homework, positive memes, and todoroki not understanding anything happening on there ~ ~ Jirou has a music playlist for every situation. Every. Situation. ~ ~ The best jeanist said bakugo couldn't learn how to style hair so katsuki "I am the best at everything" bakugo learnt how to do hair and now all the girls and kirishima go to him and make him do their hair ~ ~ Kirishima needs his hair dyed red when his roots start showing, so bakugo dyes it for him ~ ~ 1-a loves playing games like truth and dare and never have I ever when they cant sleep or are just bored ~ ~ Bakugo sleeps at 8. pm which is cannon, but still wants to be the best at whatever they are doing, so he still goes if they are playing or watching something but always. Always. Falls asleep, and he falls asleep on kiri. ~ ~ Aizawa is actually really flexible and can jump around and move literally like a cat. ~ ~ Mic: finger guns™️ and I can imagine this Mic: *does finger guns at aizawa* Aizawa: pull the trigger. ~ ~ Everyone goes into bakugos room for advice. Like jirou would go in there at 3am and just be like : yo so I'm lesbian and momo is lesbian and she said she likes me but I'm not sure if she likes me.

And even though bakugo will literally shout at them for being in his room at 3am they will still get advice😂~ ~ Kirishima is named after a mountain. Bakugos favourite activity is mountain climbing. Its cannon and ik it is I just thought I'd say that ~ ~ Shinso definitely uses his voice changer for memes. He would say things like "I'm katsuki bakugo and I'm a little bitch" with bakugos voice and "im aizawa and Im in love with a cockatoo" with aizawas voice. ~ ~ When denki is nervous random sparks of electricity come from his hands. ~ ~ If denki doesnt know how to do something he will search it up on wiki how. Change. My. Fucking. Mind. ~ ~ Shiggy genuinly doesnt know what moisturizer is ~ ~ Mic is amazing at playing any instrument ~ ~ Mic knows sign language and is fluent in alot of languages ~ ~ After toga stabs someone she mumbles things like "ughhh what a mood" "damn that one snatched my weave" and "we stan a queen" and once held up the knife like a beauty guru ~ ~ The girls constantly try to get uraraka to float m*neta into the sun ~ (yes I censored his name💀💀) ~ Tokoyami has good music taste ~ ~ The bakusquad (kaminari) tries to teach all might vine references ~ ~ Shoto l o v e s conspiracy videos ~ ~ Ojiro can purr ~ ~ Mina shares her clothes with everyone ~ ~ Shoto likes to watch the sun rise ~ ~ Omgggg I love this one. Aizawa listens to Mics radioshow when he grades papers and when he cant he will hum the music to himself ~ ~ Kaminari is memes™️ ~ ~ When mic says todorokis name he says it like the target vine (next competitor is- T T T T T T T T T TODOROKI SHOTOOOOOO *makes air horn noises*) ~ ~ The UA staff have prank wars (especially mic and literally anyone. Once poured pink cat shaped glitter on aizawa and it was 100% worth it) ~ Mic can harmonize with himself. Periodt. ~ ~ Tetsutetsu and shinso spend so much time at the 1-a dorms that one time bakugo cooked food for them too. ~

~ On that note, bakugo is obviously an amazing cook and when hes cooking for himself he will "accidentally make too much so you extras can have it" ~ ~ Shoto is literally turtlenecks™️ ~ ~ Mic literally has the worst sleep schedule like how is this man alive???? ~ ~ At night iida will run around the dorms saying goodnight to everyone and checking that they are all still in the dorms because he feels it’s his responsibility to look after everyone ~ ~ Shigirakis favourite thing to do is to just stand in the rain. He finds the rain soothing and calming to him because it’s one of the only things that he can’t destroy so it gives him peace of mind that he still human and isn’t the completely destructive monster everyone claims him to be. ~

Hope you liked them✌✌

[anandasamsara]

I applied for so many jobs today i lost count. Most of them had those shitty questions to “know you better”. I basically answered it all with “please, just fucking tell me what to do, i need instructions to work, i cannot decide what to work on for my boss bc i am not them”.

One of the jobs was a temporary event management one, and i really hope i can get this one. It’s the most experience i have, about 7 years of it.

Also, bit of a rant bc yes: its been abou 5 days since my parents came back and it feels like more than a month already. I told my therapist last satusrday that i couldnt keep a schedule all the time i was home alone, but now i realise that i did indeed create a nice schedule, that was thoroughly destroyed by my parents being back.

I would wake up at whatever hours my body needed to, then about an hour after i would get “lunch” and then watch shit on my pc / play the sims / apply to as many jobs as possible for hours. Then eat something again, enjoy the rest of my day, etc. 

Now that they’re back, i HAVE to stay up until at least 5am to hand my mom her medicine (bc she cant possibly do it herself, of course /s), so i end up going to sleep around 6 or 7 am. By like, 11am mom’s trying to wake me up, bc i slept too much already. And when i do get up, i cant eat when i get hungry bc i have to wait on them, as “we live together, we should LIVE together”. Which means that, instead of the 3 to 4 meals a day i was getting when i was alone, if im gettig one its already too much.

I also cant plan my day, bc i have to do so around my parents, and they want to plan THEIR days with no regard to me. Which is exhausting. 

I’m on overdrive already, holding onto myself so my anxiety doesnt take over, and it hasnt been a week. I need a job, i need to move out, i need to be alone.

[hermitcraftheadcanons]

Zombie Apocalypse AU Masterpost 2 Electric Boogaloo

Previous Post: https://hermitcraftheadcanons.tumblr.com/post/618314308275863552/zombie-apocalypse-au-masterpost

-Bdubs is slowly going feral because he has the virus, it just doesn't show itself physically.

-Cub was tempted to purposefully get the virus to try and help find a cure, (they probably don't have lab rats given the circumstances,) by Scar talked him out of it.

-The timeline of events with DocM is that he started in the NHO group, they ended up dispersing (Etho turned and then left to ensure the safety of his friends, Beef ended up going separate due to Doc and Bdubs' constant fighting and Bdubs stormed off after an argument.) He ends up getting taken in by TFC, (he's the first to arrive,) and eventually captures Rendog.

-Stressmonster and Iskall originally lived in a cabin in the mountains. After Iskall got swept away in a snow storm and Joe and Cleo stopped by, Stress had no idea there was a Zombie outbreak.

-Hypnotizd and XB ended up trespassing in Jevin's property and Jevin shot Hypno. XB pleaded to Jevin that they weren't zombies and to not hurt them further and Jevin begrudgingly went, 'okay, fine. You aren't taking my food though.'

-Impulse's weapon of choice was a shovel.

-Grian can't fly in this AU. Let's be real, if he could, it would be pretty OP.

-Keralis most definetly gave a larger share of his rations to Xisuma while he was sick.

-TangoTek entirely blames himself for Impulse leaving and Zedaph getting bit. He feels especially conflicted because he wants to leave because he's convinced they both hate him and blame him but he can't because 'what if they go looking for him?' 'What if someone worse comes from that?'

-The location of Etho's bite is right on the front of the neck. He actually passed out from blood loss initially and he very nearly died. (Luckily for him the zombie didn't pull away, ripping out anything important (like a windpipe of an oesophagus,) giving Doc time to carefully unhinge the zombie's jaw and save Etho.) Nobody was quite sure how Etho was even alive with a big chunk out of his neck until he started displaying some strange behaviour.

-False is usually the one who stays up late to stand guard and protect her group.

-Mumbo accidentally caught Hypno in one of his traps at one point but let him go.

-Hay here’s a dumb idea, The reason ren is immune to the zombie virus is because he has like an anti-zombie virus in his body it behaves just like a normal zombie virus but it doesn’t turn you into a zombie, so how the hermits turn the zombie hermits human again is by making ren bite them.

-I have an angst ending and a no-angst ending so first here's the not-angst one: Doc and Ren team up with Cub and Scar to make a cure (so Ren doesn't have to bite everyone personally). They travel around finding every bitten survivor and salvageable zombie they can, using the weapons and resources from the NHO for protection. They find ways of producing and distributing enough cure for everyone, and during that process all of the Hermits decide to stay friends and in touch afterward.

-For the Zombie AU, if Scar doesn't already have like a different role in this au, he could've possibly been the first human infected because *someone's* pet cat ate a weird looking mouse and bit their owner.

-This is very angsty and gory, so fair warning: How fast does the virus spread through the body from the bite? If slow, you can cut the bitten part off before it spreads out through the body. To doc having a robot arm, what if he got bit and out of fear, they amputated his arm to stop the spread. I know y'all probably don't wanna go with body horror, but that's something to consider in this AU.

-Lowkey I feel zombie Etho doesnt do justice to his epic PVP skillz, but!! I do see Etho to be something SIMILAR to it! Idk if you've ever played Telltale's The Walking Dead game, but Etho could a zombie whisperer, a human who wears zombie skin and lives amongst the zombies for protection. So when Etho got bit, they THOUGHt he turned but actually just decided, hey I live here now and just vibin.

-You know how ren being a werewolf is popular in the fandom(from what I've seen) maybe that's why is immune to being a zombie and getting bitten by him if your infected cures it because the zombie infection and werewolf infection cancel eachother out.

-A more jokey Zombie!Au thing: The first episode of Llamas with hats but it's Zombie!Etho and Beef.

-I feel like if Wels could get to some of his friends he would try his hardest to protect them and if he ever managed to get bit it would be to save someone else.

-There is just always so much angst potential in any scenario or AU where it involves the possibility of Wels sacrificing himself in some way to protect his friends from something poor bb 😔

-Would infected hermits be able to like recognize people after the infection zombified them or whatever it is? Because if so oh my god imagine the angst.

(All those above in red are from our community's lovely anons!)

-About the anti-zombie Ren bite thing: Doc has the idea suddenly in the middle of an argument so the conversation goes a little like this:

Ren: "So what I'm trying to say, my dude, is that would never work because -"

Doc: "Ren. Bite me."

Ren: "Oh yeah, real mature way to end a disagreement there -"

Doc: *facepalming* "No, Ren, I mean actually.... Just do it, I'll explain later."

-Angst ending: They could never produce enough cure to stem the tide of undeath. They all choose to band together and take shelter underground, hoping to wait it out. They use X's tunnel, but that many people that close together smells irresistible to a horde. The zombies flood after them into the tunnel. X says he'll buy them some time, even though he is terrified. He collapses the tunnel on himself and the zombies so the others can escape. His last thought: At least I get to die as myself.

-Thinking about Etho's bite location (you said it was on his neck): Most bites are on the shoulder or leg (bit from behind while running away) or on the arm (bit while raised to defend). To be bitten on the neck he would have to have his arms and shoulders lowered. Etho, being a good fighter, would have only done this if it was absolutely necessary. Conclusion: he was bitten with his arms stretched out to protect someone behind him, and he knew the consequence that his choice would have.

-(@shadeswiftdraws.)

-The NHO are all strangely dressed (Etho is kakashi, Doc is green, Bdubs has a bandana,) because they were all at a cosplay convention. (-@tomcatacaphe.)

-When Etho left The nHo, he brings a Journal with him. Every Night he'll write a Journal entry. He'll write just about anything, there even some random lyrics and some pretty flowers he pick up along his travels. But as the Journal goes on, the words slowly became wobbly. Inconsistent. until finally, Unreadable chicken skrach. His final (at least readable) entry is: "-I hoPE yoU GUyZ ArE DoInG bETThEr ThAn I Am" As some point in time, Etho lost his Journal and Joe hills found it.

-Speaking of Joe Hill, he made it his personal mission to collect every literature and entertament media he can possibly carry on him. From Dnd Book, poetry, Documentary DVD's, to random journal He think would be usefull. Stress is happy to help Joe but Cleo is a little annoyed because it's will only slow them down, but Joe Argued that "If there's no knowledge left, then what will the future be? Just staying alive and surviving?" Cleo begrudgingly agrees.

-I can totally see Joe and Cleo Rocking an actual Sword and Dnd Cosplay (Joe got is a gift while Cleo Commissions her's after seeing Joe whip out his sword one time in a one shot DnD session) they keep the swords, but they ditch the Costume pretty early on tho.

-Mumbo's next Job Interview would be schedule at Concorp. But then the Zombie apocalypse happened on his way there.

(-@tearosepedall.)

-I don’t want this au to end but here’s my take: most of them get to the bunker where they don’t develop a cure, but do create a vaccine. Occasionally they will venture out to hand out the vaccine to survivors. Still, they all decide to stay into stay together. But because they were unable to develop a cure, even though they really try, there are some how have been lost such as etho, zed, and mumbo. Still the rest of them morn and try their best to survive without modern society. (-@lookitsspacekween.)

https://hermitcraftheadcanons.tumblr.com/post/618587883366957056/tw-very-brief-mention-of-vomit-general-warnings (-@carpe-shovelem.)

-Funny/happy ending to the Zombie AU: The hermits set up a zombie funneling system where the ones that didn't die from infection get bit by Ren to get turned back and they return the dead and give them proper burials. (-@my-cat-is-a-bastard.)

-I just remembered the thought post with Tuartis sleeping through things, Bdubs sleeping through the apocalypse, but now we've got Wels on the sleep team too! Wonder if he'd have slept through the apocalypse as well... (-@853dragons.)

TW: Mentions of dead animals:

I've got one last bit for the zombie au, it ties into my parasite one: With the rumors that the outbreak started in the Convex cancer research facility, and Scar feeling guilt because he Should Have Been Able To Stop This... It really was their fault. As a company. It wasn't intentional, of course, but Convex created the parasite. It was during research into a cure for certain conditions that are notoriously risky/impossible to perform surgery on, like brain tumors or lukemia-type cancer. The hope was to utilize the parasites as something that could harmlessly go in, eat or destroy all the cancerous cells, then die off, leaving a perfectly healthy human. The research project was abandoned after a several years, when every single attempt ended with either dead or, in later years, extremely sickly rats. Although the final round seemed promising, the rats weren't showing obvious signs of a decline in health after two weeks, Convex was convinced to just give it up and that the utilization of parasitic worms was asking for more trouble than it was worth. Plus, PETA was getting dangerous with their choices in protest against the tests, which was the main reason it was called off. Cub and the board of directors didn't want to risk bodily harm to their researchers, and it truly was getting so beyond ridiculous that a few bodyguards weren't enough protection.

Some researchers took some of the test rats home as pets, including our Patient Zero, because they really were quite cute. Patient Zero got bit by his rat, and nobody really thought anything of it for a couple weeks until his behavior took a bad turn. He was picking fights and throwing verbal abuse, and no amount of warnings and write-ups were giving any hint of stopping him. It all finally resulted in him viciously biting fellow labworkers, which sent two of them and himself to the ER. Upon arrival he had to be restrained and isolated lest he bite more people. He was fired from the company, his bodyguards pulled, but Scar had been friends and continued to visit him regularly, wondering where the change had come from, and saddened by his old friend's obvious decline in health. Nurses told him he was refusing to eat or drink, and too violent to reason with nor release to anywhere but the police or psychiatric hospital. Soon, there were more reports of uncharacteristicly aggressive actions from PZ's victims. And from there.... Well, it's your choice where the story goes, but it didn't take long for Scar to put the puzzle together.

-(@basaltdragon.)

More to be added!

[max-art-tips-and-criticism]

Hello! This is my first “serious” acrylic painting. I always painted for fun, but for this piece I wanted to study lighting, composition, color relationships, and all that. I painted a still life of some little knick-knacks I had like the golden cat and the Ganesha elephant statue. (I have some more pics of this piece on my blog if you want to compare my painting to the real still life!)

I struggle a lot of rendering details, so everything looks super blobby and unclear. Also, highlights and shadows are my worst enemy haha. I would love some art critiques from you!

———————————————————-

Thank you for sumbitting this and sorry it took me this long to get to critique it. Quarantine has messed with my sense of time and my sleep schedule has been thoroughly destroyed. Anyway, on to the critique!

Now, I could not find the pictures you were talking about on your blog, so I cant compare this painting to what you were basing it off of. If you want me to, than please dm me the post or pictures so I can.

Ok, first off, I would like to say that I absolutely love this piece. It is very lovely and well done. I think maybe adding some more contrast to the knick-knacks might make them a bit more visible against the red background. The highlights and shadows look very good, not hyper-realistic but still nice. I can’t say how accurate they are as I have not seen what you were basing this off of, but it doesnt look unrealistic.

Again, thank you for submitting this piece for critique! I hope I did a good job. And if you want more about how it compares to what you were using as reference, please send me the post with the reference pics.

[miracu-less]

Here's an ML story idea I'm sharing because I'm too busy (lazy) to work on it. I might add onto it as it develops in my head.

Feel free to adopt it if you like it. (Tag/link me if you do)

---

This Akuma, if they get you, you dont exist.

Well. As close to not existing as you can get. More like fading you out. You're lost and forgotten.

Marinette doesnt even get the chance to transform when she gets hit. She still isnt aware of the power behind this Akuma.

Tikki aimlessly floats away from her, confused. Marinette calls out to her, they need to transform and go after the Akuma!

The kwami doesn't respond or even acknowledge her. Instead she flits off in the direction Marinette knows well, Master Fu's.

They arrive, Master Fu doesn't acknowledge her either. Merely brings Tikki in and questions where she has been, where is the Ladybug Miraculous, how is she roaming about?

Tikki tells a tale of waking in the middle of the street, as if she was headed somewhere, but suddenly nowhere. No one was around. Marinette cries out to them. Nothing. She's scared. She doesn't know what to do. All she can do is cry as she reaches to hold Tikki, but her hands phase through.

-

Adrien is on the scene moments later, as Chat Noir he tackles the perpetrator, somehow, easily taking them down. Their Akuma host item blatantly obvious, he was able to release the butterfly immediately.

Words get caught in his throat, he was about to say something. But to whom? It was just him. It's always just been him. Right?

The still evil tainted Akuma is getting away! Instincts take over and he snatches it in his claws.

What's he supposed to do? What has he done with Akumas up to this point? What's the next step?

Fear creeps up and knots in his gut. He needs to find the Master. Something is wrong. Very, very wrong.

---

Adrien paces in his room as the tip tapping sound of the dark butterfly hits the edges of the jar he contained it in. He's not sure if it'll be enough to keep it from escaping. He recalls they can phase through walls and objects. But it hasn't yet. Plagg reassures him it'll be fine a while longer, but Fu should hurry.

He's thankful Fu has a sixth sense of these things and arrived at his home within the hour.

After Fu arrives and inspects the Akuma, they sit down and discuss the issue at hand. They both feel that something has been unbalanced. Do what they can while they figure things out.

Fu has a purification spell (or potion more likely) that will revert the Akuma to normal, but it is a tedious thing, and it may take time. Can only pray that Hawkmoth doesnt release a plethora of them while they are in this situation.

They are not so lucky. Chat Noir is managing. But with no Ladybug, no Miracle Cure, nothing gets fixed. Buildings, injuries, Paris is going to fall apart at this rate. Chat learns quickly though, and finds ways to lure the Akuma to an already destroyed area.

He's getting tired though. He's still got a full schedule, plus these attacks. Plagg is exhausted as well. When they're not fighting, he's asleep or trying to eat, then sleep some more.

Like his home, he's breaking down. One extra Akuma that day pushes his limits. He gets slammed into the ground, hard. He's weak and tries to push himself up, but collapses and loses his final grip with consciousness.

The Akuma charges but gets hit with a trash can lid. Nino charges the scene, he cant stand to watch, after that taste of being Carapace, he knows where he needs to be. Just wish he could recall how it happened.

Rushing to Chat's side, eyeing the Akuma warily and with warning, something else catches its attention and they charge away, leaving Nino with the fallen hero.

He does his best to wake him. Nothing but mumbles and sleepy slurs. Lifting him, he swiftly carries him out of range and sight of Hawkmoth's minion, hiding behind a building, a hand grips and startled him, almost dropping Chat Noir, whose miraculous is timing out.

It's an elder man in a Hawaiian shirt, beckons Nino to quickly follow him, he must become Carapace. There's no hesitation, Nino follows.

---

Marinette went home ONCE since the incident, her parents... they dont know her. They cant see her, give her hugs and say they love her. Her room is locked like an attic door. School felt empty. Did Alya even miss her? Adrien probably doesn't even notice a difference in her absence.

Sorrow fills her. She stays at Master Fu's. Learned she doesnt need to sleep anymore. She stares at the accumulation of jarred Akuma. Making the potion/spell is very taxing on the Master. He can only purify so many. Cure one, 3 more take its place.

She talks to Tikki all the time, sometimes it seems Tikki can sense her. But she doesnt get her hopes up.

She goes to every Akuma attack and watches her partner valiantly fight and defend their home. He's gotten strong. And very good. Or maybe he was always that good. Her heart tightens as she watches him capture the Akuma, jarring it, and taking a moment to look around, a sad, distant look on his face. Looking but not seeing. Not remembering.

Follows him as he drops it off at the Master's, then head home. She wants to follow. But she cant bring herself to do it. So she stays.

Her thoughts abrupted suddenly as the door slams open, Fu rushing in, and not a second behind, Nino! Has Fu finally realized Chat cant do this on his own? Chat! He was carrying Chat! His eyes aren't open!

Fu hurriedly lays down his futon for Nino to place Chat Noir on, as Nino settles him, Fu grabs the miraculous chest the grab the stone of the Fox.

The final warning for Chats transformation chimes, Marinette cant bring herself to look away as she kneels beside him. A flash of green charges the room briefly, to fade and reveal the reciever of her affections. Adrien Agreste.

Nino is both surprised, and he exasperated, That explains a lot. Before he can mull over the fact his best friend is also his super hero idol, Fu gifts him with the turtle miraculous, bidding Wayzz a safe fight. Gives him the jar to contain the Akuma.

Nino, after being assured by Fu that he's capable, runs off to fight while Fu tells Tikki to tend to Plagg while he seeks out the holder of the Fox.

Tikki holds Plagg as he sleeps, too tired to eat.

Marinette hovers over Adrien, a hand shadowing over his face. She wishes she could touch him. Tears pour out of her eyes as she sobs. Her poor kitty, having to fight all alone.

They believe the Ladybug Miraculous to be gone, but they're still on her ears! How can she fix this!?

She apologizes through her tears. Wishing she could hold him. Then, she begins to plead. Pleading he can find a way to bring her back. So they can fight together again. They're partners. She.. almost makes a confession.

For a moment, Adrien stirs, eyes open, he sees the figure of a very sad girl, weeping over him. His eyes are too heavy to keep open. He closes them and murmurs, "I promise, Milady."

---

And that's as far as I got. Yep.

Thx for reading my blab.

[im-basically-logan]

welcome back to the routine of me yelling about the latest sander sides vid! everything will be under the cut but just know there are obviously spoilers.

see you on the other side lmao

they all did that intro all at once???? damn!

MARCO 2.0 FOLKS!!! LOOK AT JOAN’S BEANIE!!!

ALSO KYLE DOING THE THING!!! FOR THE INTRO?? AMAZING!!!

thomas... what are you doing. also Joan’s line of thought is what i thought of first lmao

shoehorn

“... just how weird that was” indeed. look at the nerd risin on in tho!

“feeling it...”

Logan’s groan of frustration to thomas saying “motivated” is a big mood

“now you’re just pandering to my fondness for being told that im right” lmaoooo

logan’s sass is great

i love logan too, thomas

DECEIT HE’S BACK AT IT AGAIN

S L I M E Y B O Y

deceit flipped them off jdkshgjkfdhs

i sure hope he doesnt excrete slime jfc

they actually looked at the painting on the wall omfg. logan being confused by it’s abstract look is hilarious imo

existentialism ACTIVATED

DUSHGJKFDLS THE SIDES ACTUALLY PULL EACH OTHER UP TO SUMMON THEM OH MY GOD

when they were trying to get virgil to come out?? roman was literally pulling him omfggg why

also patton and logan just sorta told him to come out but pulling could still be a thing in that regard but rOMAN TUGGED ON HIM

back on topic--”YOU PULLED MY HAIR”

roman back at it again with the weird phrases!

“I would talk about you in another room” “...fair enough”

YESAAAAAAHH UNDERSTATEMENT MUCH

roman’s facial expressions are amazing

“i think you’re just being a jerk” hgjksd roman’s pouty face lmao

I LOVE TERRENCE’S HANDWRITING??? A LOT???

yay roman complimented logan!!!

“myth of the great manbaby” what the hell roman

when you break the fourth wall column and make everyone uncomfortable

i love the drawing things for roman’s thinking. he is creativity after all

the thing about financial perception is great-- i love listening to logan talk kgdfhgkdfl give us a podcast. (jk jk)

THOMAS TALKING ABOUT THE WITCHER 3 YES

the fact that logan indirectly acknowledges he’s a nerd lmaooo

virgil spawning in and saying “i’m listeninnnnng”

“hi virgil” “sup thomas”

ngl roman, that idea is pretty... bad sorry

“but you just called me a little bratty baby--” “A- DUB DUBGFBBFJK THOMAS”

I LOVE LISTENING TO LOGAN TALK ABOUT EXISTENTIALISM AND QUOTING ALAN MOORE

“holy sh-” THOMAS

is aunt patty a real person??

constantly circling the answer lmao

windshield of diamond...? i mean diamonds can be clear but-

“we’re talking about a car, not a horse” lo... logan it’s a metaphor

“i hope you know that my agreeing to a point i made is not a win for you”

once again i love the little animations

thomas playing an elongated word association game is me tbh

“a.. scripted series” “nods in agreement” KJEHGJDFK THE FOURTH WALL HAS BEEN DESTROYED

WHAT IS ROMAN’S FACE AT 12:00????

nexus... instrument??? oh wait nvm

“quixotic, quarreling. quaaaaaaaaaaaah” and the little shake as he said “im not good at nicknames” lmao

circadian rhythm? who’s she???

ok listen i know logan is right about the sleeping schedule but also??? no?? thanks??

“but twitter!” “tumblr?” “tinder?” “twinster!” JDFKJDS

“my twin kinda looks like you, logan!” REALLY ROMAN?

and then all the remy fans went insane...

“copulating” LOGAN

pancake and pillow fights jffkhgsf

tHOMAS DONT FIGHT PEOPLE WITH PANCAKES-

“BRO-gan” JDSKHASJK didnt thomas say that in a tweet lmao

“okay dad” “y’called?”

“love you patton” “love you thomas”

“BUT A BIG MEAL MAKES ME SLEEPY” oh jeez i’ve never tried doing that and i probably wont-- thanks logan lol

“this snack over here is wondering if you’re finished or not!” roman..?? what??

i love logan’s face when he’s about to start rambling again lmao

i just noticed the amazing sound design for the handwriting effects, kudos to you guys!!

ROMAN NO IT’S NOT-- IT’S NOT ALCOHOL YOU FOOL

“shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots i endorse, are vaccines” agreed but also logan n o

look at his face tho he looks sorta proud of himself

“why are you drinking... out of a blender” "this is the biggest container that i have” th-thomas..??? my god lmao

“but how is it good for you?” “how?” logan is slytherclaw tbh

“CORN! ... to eat”

nice pie chart

roman’s face at 16:06 is a mood

“and health...! facts!”

logan being a literal encyclopedia is amazing... also fairly robotic wouldnt you say (hahaha)

but also roman brushing his teeth immediately after dlsjgdfkl

roman throwing a little temper tantrum lmaooo

“elms need tending..”

i like to think roman just has imagery dancing around for thomas and logan to see in his hand or smth. or he’s awkwardly projecting it idfk

17:43 logan is a mood (i say this a lot bear with me)

once AGAIN! I LOVE THE ART STYLE OF THE ANIMATED PARTS!!!

roman, sorry buddy, but shakespeare plagiarized a lot of things and frankly i believe thats a big no no for you? (remember the originality episode oof)

“FORGET SLEEP” same roman

“then you will care for your friends more than they have ever been cared for in their. entire. LIFE” “yES”

THE CLICHE WESTERN MUSIC JDKF

“i dont know the meaning of the word...” “it means ridiculous” “oh really?” ROMAN??? HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW THAT?

all the other times logan has used preposterous just went over his head????

hasnt roman USED the word preposterous?????

mANTICORE CHIMERA?? OKAY THEN

i go straight to logan’s thinking. roman get the heck out of there? dont fight a chimera with a broken leg plz

“how can you be teaching me so many things but also be so wrong today?” WOW ROMAN LMAO

20:09 Logan...ok listen, somebody just send me a bunch of screenshots of their faces in this video plz

NJKDSFFSJAHKS I LOVE HOW THEY PUT PATTON AS THOMAS’ DAD IN THE FAMILY TREE

“pardon me while i laugh! .... ha” ok the motions before he “laughed” looked oddly like deceit...

ROMAN WIGGLES A LOT

hello yes?? can we get a sander sides soundtrack??? the music while logan explains the worth of living is great

“uber yawn” im sorry roman, w h a t

“rOMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-” y’gonna... stop....?

ok there we go

DID LOGAN JUST CALL ROMAN A PREP FJKDSHGJFDHK

aww logan’s little smirk

“that sounds cool..” roman is such a dork jkdshfs

DING DING DING IT’S THE LOGINCE TRAIN. also! i want the music SO BADLY

logans little bounce at 23:43 gives me life

awww they’re getting along

the next video thomas was hinting at... the puppet show

also i would’ve mentioned this earlier but i forgot but I THINK THATS A NEW SHIRT? :O

MOXIETY MOMENT!!!

“every dog has it’s day” Virgil: patton n o

“may the force be with you” lmao

patton sounds oddly... solemn? it just sounds slightly lower than patton’s usual voice??? i dunno im reading into things

take it easy guys, gals, and nonbinary pals!

we’re at the end! im so proud of thomas, talyn, and joan! amazin as usual. Also best wishes to Joan’s recovery. they better rest after this

[jwnbwnjwn]

Entry 4 (3.23.2020)

Its currently 9:40 AM and I haven’t slept. Waiting for my online class to start, by the way, all my classes got moved to online now due to the Corona virus outbreak. Anyways, my sleeping schedule is once again fucked up and flipped, but surpringly I dont feel as lonely in the middle of the night. I did just get a wave of sadness though.

Sometimes I feel like im fine, and lifes fine and everythings fine. My relationship, friendships, family. But i know it still bugs me to the core, i know it still replays in my mind, i know its going to take a long time to forget, or to fully make peace with it. It still runs through my mind the possible ways that couldve gone down. The different positions, the different things you did to her, the different names you called her, all the places you took her, what you told her about me? The degrading stuff you said about me? I still look through her stuff, maybe a hint; the subtlest one. I stare at her photos to try to see the parts of her that caught your eye, the parts of her that you kissed, that you touched. The times you did stuff, did I ever come to mind?, even if it was for half a second? Did you think of me? Did you think of my emotions, my feelings? No right? You didnt even know what I was feeling because we were in a situation where I was too scared to tell you because I would just be ignored or shrugged away. But its okay - the blames not all on you. We were in a really rough patch, im surprised we even made it out alive. I still think of the few times I saw her, if it was going on then, if it was still happening then, if you kissed her before or after, while i was still in the same building, if right after you went to see me or after you dropped me off you went to see her. I think of it so much and I just want it out of my head. I think of how you continued to check out other people, even after everything. After help, after the many tears i shed, after most of the hard work was done. I think of how you had girls nudes, how you had my friends nudes, my bestfriends. How you traded with other disgusting fucking pigs, how you wanted to fuck all these other girls. I think of the stash you had. Deja Vu, DEJA VU. I’ve seen this before, me typing this, all of this. I wonder if you still are like that. If you still have your stash, a stash. I know you’re in groupchats that do that stuff, and I know because you told me. You said it was just photos of girls like Belle Delphine, my fucking queen lol, but even then it kinda hurts when i still have all this overbearing pain left over and  to be so sensitive and insecure about still so many things. It pains me a bit to think youre staring at a girls ass, nudes, etc, whether you know them or not. Anyones. And I wanna see your phone, I wanna see who you text, what you talk about because im looking for these things. Im looking for these messages, these photos. The stuff that will destroy me. The stuff that will make me question why I kept going. I wonder if you still do. I just keep pondering, and I think i will for a long time unless i see proof. I think its going to be long, and difficult process for me in order to solve that. And I know, im scared. Im scared to bring this up because I know its somehow going to be flipped onto my side. I know its going to be somehow turned into my insecurites and on my behalf. And you know if thats what it truly is than be it, but it hurts so much because it doesnt feel that way/. It feels like im always blamed on for it. I wanna ask you to leave the chat, I wanna ask you to leave any chat where they talk about girls in that matter, where they send lewd photos, because its too much for me, its too much for me to know youre there, to know yore watching that. It hurts my heart over and over and everytime i think of it it takes me back to that place where I tried so hard to escape from. I think about you when youre with your friends and the many things you probably talk about. I think of how disgusting those conversations can easily turn into, how easily it is for them to show you, for them to tell you, for them to talk about all these girls to you. Or maybe its worse, maybe you still have photos, maybe youre still a pervert and talk about girls, maybe youre the one still causing the trouble. Maybe you never changed. What if it was just your lies getting better, you faking it better, putting in a little more effort into that. I go insane thinking like this. I drive myself crazy. I know i overthink, and I know I get paranoid, i recently figured that about myself; that im always on edge, that im always paranoid about things in an odd way. But its true. I could see clearly why everything Ive stated so far could be happening, but i always give you the benefit of the doubt so i dont fall further down the rabbit hole. Im tired. Im tired of it all. Im tired of seeing her, seeing you, sometimes when I look at you I cant help but have my mind running over how that exact face across of me that I love so much can do all of that, can do it to me. I constantly think of the time you told me about her, going over it, replaying it all in my head. I go over it so many times in hopes that ill catch a detail i missed, anything. I drive myself insane. I dont know how much longer I could do this for anymore, im getting more and more exhausted by the day. With all this extra free time in my hands thats all I think about. I look and search in hopes that something new will pop up, something that will define anything from that time. I wonder if youve talked about her recently, talked to her. I wonder what you’ve said about her, about me, if you’ve ever compared us and how. Thinking of this just makes me want to apologize about me thinking all of this, of my looks, everything. I feel like i’ll never forget.

Sometimes I think, what if I took the bold move? What if I did was would be considered “right” of me? I hate admiting it and even writing it down anywhere, but I think of leaving you. Leaving you and finding myself, finding my true self; not the version I set of myself for you, the version i struggle to love but learn how to little bit a day. I want to know what its truly like to be able to express myself in my true form, in order to want to do stuff and not get shut down for it, in order to fully be me and be able to defend myself without feeling bad for doing so; without feeling like a loser or like im on the outside looking in. Sometimes i wonder what it would be liked to be loved by someone else, someone who deserves me. They say what I want is out there, and i ponder on that. I wonder if theres someone who will always open the door for me, someone who will walk to my doorstep everytime they arrive and everytime they have to go. Someone who will hold my hand and kiss it, someone who hugs me gently; a hug that will make me feel something again. I want someone who protects me, who will keep me safe. Someone who will prioritize me. Someone who no matter what fights we come across, he will protect me out of love, because thats exactly what I would do. I want someone my parents love, someone my family loves, someone that could get along with my friends that i wouldnt have to be worried about. I want someone who will understand me, and someone who will see me as their world. I want someone to view me the same way i view them, i want someone to be there for me and go the same exact extent that i would for them. I want equalization. I want loyalty, I want someone to come into my life and strip me away from THIS “life” and show me what its like to smell the flowers, to show me what its like to be happy and be in love. I want someone who will appreciate me, someone who wont have to try so hard to do so. I just have to keep wishing.

But I love you, I love you so much. Even after all the ugly, even after all the fights, all of this; I still love you so much, I wish you could be the man i need, and hopefully you will. Im just scared that when you do itll be too late. Im scared that you wont. I wish you would put me first. I wish that over everything. I just want to be loved, and I want that to be real. im scared, im so constantly scared all the fucking time and it eats me alive. I love you, but I want to live. I want to love, and live, and be happy. i want to smell the flowers, dance in the rain, roll in the mud, I want to know what its like to be alive. I just hope its with you. I just hope I can forget, I just hope I can make peace.

Ended this at 3/23/2020 10:25 AM

-jen

[trademarkhubris]

@sergeisilence hey! congrats for the kitty! chaos is a normal state for a cat owner's house. let's try to see if your chaos can be manageable though. [psa for long post about cats, with non graphic talk of animal faeces, food] so cats need basically food, safety, entertainment, and somewhere to poop. i suppose it's all taken care of but let's go over the basics anyway. in the first days it can better to keep the kitten in one room so it gets used to the smells and sounds of the house and its inhabitants without getting overwhelmed by a huge unknown place. at 2 months a cat can get used to a house relatively easily, so it's just for the adjustment. the litter box shouldn't be too close to the food (that i recommend be on a tray because they get messy) but it can be like two meters away if u keep it very clean. not too clean or the cat might forget thats where the poop goes. if u can make it a little hidden from view so the cat doesn't feel like everyone can see it pooping it's best. the box in my room is in a corner under a coffee table with a towel on it so there's just one way in and out. like a cube with one side open. the food tray doesn't have to be squeaky clean but the water has to be changed regularly. if there's wet food check if it doesn't smell. you can choose to feet the cat at regular hours or to let it regulate itself, if u choose the last make sure it remembers to eat. milk isn't necessary but can be a nice treat once or twice a day, just buy cat milk in the pet aisle and not cow milk! cow milk isn't good for cats. feeling safe! this can mean places to hide, but it also mean knowing it can choose not to interact of it doesn't want to. you've both had cats so you know when a cat wants to leave! the safety part is really a case by case thing, mosy cats like to hide but some care less. entertainment: play with your cat. a lot. playing is good for both socializing with the other cats of the house (you and your mom) and to learn how to fight and or hunt, even if it's never going to do these things. it's the ways of the cats. (i understood cats better than i used to when i learned that cats, in nature, are both hunters and prey. not sure how that's relevant to you, I'm kind of info dumping right now) an easy way to play is the Cat Fishing Rod (TM) for this you need a stick, some string, and something to drag, like a pompom or a wine cork. this teaches how to run, hot to jump, how to stalk. i playfight a lot with my hands, bc it teaches how to fight, but depending on the cat i can end up with bites and scratches and while i don't mind i can see why someone would mind lol. just observe what interests the cat and play accordingly. hugs and pets are part of the entertainment and the safety part. if the cat is reticent, present ur hand and wait. try again until it works. lots of patience with scared cats. talk a lot, so it gets used to you and your voice, regardless of if it's scared or not. if something scares it, do the neck grab to calm it down, keep it close to your chest and speak in a calm voice. when holding a cat it's better to grab the rear legs so it doesnt feels like its going to fall. okay that's a thing. now we get to the teaching your cat how to do things in its new house. it's a lot of patience, first off. it's a big adjustment for the cat and for the humans, and it's not going to be easy all the time. right now we've been doing pretty great except for the sleep pattern, in which i fall asleep around 3-4am and she wakes me up around 7am. it's basically the only disagreement she and i have and i can't seem to change her mind. we're trying to teach her "no" by saying no and then ignoring her for a while, which works well for bites and scratches, but doesn't seem to work when she's wrecking havoc in my room while I'm begging for the sweet, sweet release of more than four hours of sleep. it's a work in progress. so, if it bites too hard, say "no" and stop interacting with it. if it fucks up your sleep schedule even more than it was, don't chuck it out the window. in general, punishments don't work well. like, if the cat pees on the floor it's either because it's not used to the litter box, or it's unhappy/disoriented/depressed, or the box is too dirty. in none of these cases would punishment be useful. grab the cat, get to a litter box, congratulate the cat for peeing in the litter box. positive reinforcement! if it destroys stuff it might be because it's bored or unhappy. play with it, give it stuff it can destroy or play with on its own. like a ball or a pompom on a string attached to a doorknob so the pompom is just above the ground. if it attacks for seemingly no reason it might be because its boundaries aren't respected or that it's scared bc new house new people no mom no siblings... it's hard. it'll get better with lots of patience. uh, i think I'm going to stop now lol sorry. it got long. hope everything is intelligible. this is totally not exhaustive so if uve got questions or suggestions im all ears! im def not a cat specialist, just a cat enthusiast. hope everything's going great for u, ur mom, and ur cat 🐱☄

[awesomeonmyown7]

Initial Evaluation: Z.D.M 21/F (MDD) - May 5, 2017

This is the case of Z.D.M. a 21 year old female diagnosed with possible MDD.

Subjective: I. Cheif Complaint: acc to the client “Nagpakatanga ako. At nagpadala sa emotion.”

II. Goals: acc to the client “Ayoko na. Tama na. Magmomove on na ko.”

III. HPI 1 month PTIE, client broke up with her bestfriend 2 weeks PTIE, client had a nervous breakdown because of jelousy and thus developed gerd 1 day PTIE, client was mad af and crying like shit

IV. Past Medical Hx Hospitalized for dengue and Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease

V. Personal Social Hx Too long to mention

VI. Performance Patterns A. Roles: Bestfriend, daughter, student B. Habits: Impoverished Habit of letting self get hurt everytime C. Routines: URGENTLY NEEDS CHANGING

OBJECTIVE: A. Mental Status Examination i. General Description - the evaluation was conducted in the client’s brain at several intervals Apperance - dishriveled hair, untidy look, untied shoelaces, anhedonic, unmotivated Attitudes towards others - client would smile and chat but cannot make eye contact, occassionally withdrawn

ii. Mood and Affect Mood - Labile Affect - Inappropriate

iii. Speech Quality - full of thought Quantity - sometimes impoverished sometimes has a lot to saaay Rate - Fast. Mad. Hurt. Crying. In pain

iv. Perception Illusions - negative. Pero umasa at nagtiwala sa hangin Hallucinations - negative. Kasi may social support siya

v. Thought content and Mental Trends Thought process - over thinking, flight of ideas, rationalization Thought content - delusion of persecution, delusion of hope na may friendship pa, delusion of believing it doesnt hurt, paranoia, denial, tendencies for suicidal ideations

vi. Sensorium and Cognition Orientation - Ox2. Oriented to place & person, BUT NOT TO THE SITUATION AND THE TIME Conciousness - alive but barely breathing Concentration and Attention - meh Memory - Good. Remembers everything…even the ones she shouldnt. Abstract thought - Good. Makes metaphors. Visuospatial ability - Good. Reading and writting - genius. Lol jk General Information - KNOWS TOO MUCH

vii.Insight Intellectual - good True emotional - not so good ERGO: IMPAIRED

viii. Judgement Social - Very Poor. Gives people too much benefit of the doubt Test - Okay? ERGO: IMPAIRED

ix. Work behaviors Attention Span - Fair. Needs prodding Concentration - Fair. Needs prodding Impulse control - Poor. SO VERY POOR. Frustration Tolerance - ALSO EXTREMELY POOR Problem Solving - genius at everything except self problems Judgement - Poor af. Following Instructions - Fair. BUT NEEDS EXTREME PRODDING.

x. Attitudes towards self Self-esteem: POOR AF Self-confidence: POOR AF

xi. Attitudes towards others Can be too nice but you know, she needs saving

Recommend: Beck depression inventory and azima as needed.

B. Functional Assessment ADL - poor grooming and eating IADL - poor health management and maintenance Education - fluctuating educational performance due to emotional instability Social Participation - selective with who to talk to Leisure - cannot find anything satisfying enough Work - meh Play - in need of fun & company Sleep and Rest - heavily affected because of insomia and thoughts

OPA Table…cannot fit in this post ahahuhu

ASSESSMENT i. S&W = lets just say she’s high func but has a hell load of issues.

ii. Prioritized Problem List 1. Problems in ADLs specifically Eating and Grooming 2. Problems in IADLs specifically Health Management and Maintenance 3. Problems in Sleep participation 4. Problems in Educational Participation 5. Problems in Leisure Participation 6. Problems in Social Participation

iii. Prognosis: Guarded. If she can follow and listen to people’s advice then she’ll be okay. If she cannot..then she will destroy herself

iv.OT Diagnosis: Client experiences problems in majority of her occupations due to problems in emotional regulation, poor motivation and poor work behaviors, disrupted routines as evidenced by having poor insight, poor judgement, irrational beliefs, having loss of apetite, getting easily distracted, being unable to focus, fluctuating performance in tasks, not wanting to do anything for herself, inability to move on, overthinking, marked displeasure, withdrawn behavior and suicidal ideations secondary to depression.

PLAN LTG1: In 1 week of OT sessions, Client will be able to independently engage ADL participation specifically eating. STG1: Client will be able to independently identify atleast 10 viands of food she finds apetizing given a table top activity in 1 OT session STG2: Client will be able to eat 5 spoonfools of food independently given cognitive behavioral techniques in 1 OT session STG3: Client will be able to eat a whole meal independently given cognitive behavioral techniques in 5 OT sessions

POA: Prep - client will be given cognitive behavioral techniques to redirect her thoughts & SMRTs Purp - client will be asked to think of things she likes or that make her happy; client will create a “happy schedule” which includes when she will do things that make her happy Occ based - client will be able to state and write/draw things she likes to eat in a peice of paper; client will be able to eat in an eating activity TUS: Kind Firmness - Matter of Fact TUG: Topical. Good friends, good company EMT: REMOVE POTENTIAL TRIGGERS

LTG2: Client will be able to independently improve ADL participation specifically grooming in 1 week of OT sessions STG1: Client will be able to come to school with her hair brushed independently in 4 OT sessions given cognitive behavioral techniques STG2: Client will be able to tie her shoes and tidy her clothes idependently in 3 OT sessions.

LTG3: Client will be able to independently improve IADL participation specifically health management and maintenance in 1 week of OT sessions STG1: Client will drink her medicines independently on time given cognitive behavioral therapy in 3 OT sessions STG2: In 4 OT sessions, client will have independently developed and follow a daily routine which involves eating on time given cognitive behavioral therapy.

LTG4: Client will be able to engage in sleep participation independently in 3 days of OT sessions. STG1: Given Cognitive behavioral techniques and SMRTs, client will be able to sleep and wake up without thinking of traumatic events in 3 OT sessions

LTG5: Client will have independently improved educational participation in 1 week of OT sessions STG1: Client will be able to focus and accomplish a given task independently in the specified time given cognitive behavioral techniques and SMRTs in 2 OT sessions STG2: Client will be able to produce quality output in 1 OT session given cognitive behavioral techniques and SMRTs STG3: Client will be able to get high grades on her written and practical exams in 4 OT sessions given cognitive behavioral techniques and SMRTs

LTG6: In 1 week of OT sessions, client will be able to engage in social participation with peers and family independently. STG1: Client will be able to state 10 things she finds purposeful in herself and in others given cognitive behavioral therapy in 1 OT session STG2: Client will be able to stop devalueing herself and stop overthinking independently for at least 1 hour in 2 OT session given cognitive behavioral therapy STG3: Client will be able to get through the day without devaluing herself and overthinking and talk to atleast 5 people independently in 4 OT sessions given cognitive behavioral therapy

LTG7: Client will be able to engage in leisure tasks independently in 1 week of OT sessions STG1: Client will be able to state 10 things she likes to do independently given cognitive behavioral therapy in 3 OT sessions. STG2: Client will be able to engage in atleast 3 leisure activities independently given cognitive behavioral therapy in 3 OT sessions. STG3: Client will be able to find something thankful about from the day, everyday given cognitive behavioral therapy and SMRTs in 1 OT session

Recommendations: Good & REAL friends, Good company, healthy environments.

this is my case. This is what I need to do. This is the first phase of the happiness project. And I thank everyone who is constantly being there for me. I owe you guys. -z.

[2seoke]

BEst writers?

In no particular order bcz they are all breathtakingly amazing when it comes to writing :3 ! ! ! !

HERE THEY ARE :D

@syugatae JEN IS THE CUTEST ON THIS PLANET OK I FINALLY GOT TO TALK TO HER AND IT MADE MY ENTIRE WEEK HER WRITING IS JUST INDESCRIBABLE PLZ GO READ “CHANGE YOUR MIND” YOU WONT REGRET IT EVER EVER EVER BCZ HERE I AM TODAY SCREAMING ABT HER FOR A GOOD. FUCKING. REASON. (when i swear you know its real af) NAND SHES WRITING SMTH SOON (IDK IF PPL SHOULD KNOW? IMS ORRY IM TRYING TO PROMOTE UR BEAUTIFUL EINSTEIN ASS) LMO

@war-of-hormoan OK, LISTEN UP. RAM LITERALLY DESTROYED MY BIAS LIST LMAO LADIES AND GENTLEMAN SHES. THE. REASON. HOBI. IS. MY. BIAS. WRECKER. NOW. IM NOT SHITTING ANYONE. RAM IS THE ONLY REASON HOBI IS WHERE HE IS @ TODAY (THAT BOY GIVES ME F E E L S THAT NO ONE ELSE DOES) ANYW YASYAS “ASHES’ IS THE BEST THING THAT’S EVER HAPPENED TO ME AND I DONT REGRET HOBI BEING MY BABY DID I THANK YOU YET MY LOVE BCZ HIS ASS OWNS MINE AND I CANT WAIT FOR THE UPDATE??///////?//??? (take your time tho ily)

@dailydoseofdia OMGOMGOMG OMGOGOMG OGMOGMOGM DIA. WHERE DO I EVEN START WITH YOU. THIS GIRL IS THE SWEETEST THING EVER ENGLISH AND FRENCH AS LANGUAGES COMBINED DONT HAVE ENOUGH WORDS TO DESCRIBE HOW MUCH I LOVE HER SHE SENDS ME LIL MESSAGES AND HER UPDATES AND I READ AND REBLOG EVERYTIME BCZ HER WRITING STYLE IS JUST –UGH (see what i mean i cant even explain)

@queenjunghoseok my hope. my angel. my JEN SHE WAS PART OF MY SQUAD A LOOOONG TIME AGO AND WELL I STILL LOVE HER AND I STILL READ ALL HER STUFF SECRETLY AND TELL PPL TO GO FOLLOW HER IN SECRET WITHOU- wait. did i just rat myself out… LMAO anyYWayS if anyone deserves more followers, its my baby: jen

@jungblue taytay? she’s beyond AMAZING. I’ve been following her for about a year now and her progress and intricacy is just fucking incredible at this point: THIS GIRL DESERVES- IDEK WHAT SHE DESERVES BECAUSE NOTHING IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER THE WAY SHE PLAYS WITH WORDS??? HELL? THE WAY SHE USES WORDS? THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE DOESNT USE HER, SHE USES THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE I SWEAR… PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GO read “FUTURE HEARTS” YOU DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT YOURE MISSING (TAYTAY LOVE ME)

@yoonminnings vivi? vivi is simply my vivi. Ive been through a lot with her and i literally pray for her every night thats how much she means to me… when I realized she wrote pics…. oh good lord i swear I DIDNT EAT OR SLEEP FOR A WEEK STRAIGHT BECAUSE I NEEDED TO reAD ALL THE FICS I HADNT READ YET lmao YALL DONT REALIZE HOW MUCH I HATED MYSELF THAT WEEK BUT THATS HOW GOOD SHE IS… I STOPPED MY DAILY SCHEDULES TO CTACH UP ON EVERYTHING (if that doesn’t tell you smth IDEK WHAT WILL @ this point :’)

@bangtanhmu winnie :3 she honestly makes one of the best texts in this entire goddamned website LMAO my gurl got 1k followers… in one week…. lMAO BYE SEE WHAT I MEAN HWQICGQEOGQOWV and I know she isn’t a writer but I just H A D to mention her efhiekclibILwb ilySM LOVE STAY HEALTHY DONT UPDATE TOO MUCH (its a problem rlly she loves her followers so much updates faster than lightning) 

@jungkxook ALY. ALY ALY.……… lmao all i have to say abt her is she ruined me in half…. :) (i still hate you for “arranged love” because the pain was excruciating) but other than that LIFE IS GREAT GO FOLLOWER HER BEAUTIFUL ASS (ILY BABE DONT BE MAD @ ME U KNOW HOW GOOD UR WRITING IS DONT FUKCEN DENY IT) :) NOTHING BUT SYMPATHY FOR YOU :) :0:):):))0;)):;0;):); and my BROKEN HEART :):)::):):);0):);00:):

@inktae tbh I thought she was gonna delete and I almost started crying BUT THEN SHE SAID NO AND I ALMOST THREW A PARTY LMAO BBY tbh when I’m sad mari’s blog is like the first one i always check because…. idk tbh… my fingers jus tap her url OUT OF NOWHERE :) LMAOO her guys… look… even my subconscious is telling you to follow and read her entire master list… hehe…:)::):):):):) (GOD I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOURE THE BEST NEVER STOP WRITING)

@knjns my goddess, my seoul, my everything. She knows who she is, and how much she means to me, and truthfully no matter how much I write on here it’ll never ben enough to express myself. So, I’ll keep it extra short: I love you. Her writing? A whole different story. The way she manipulates words still scares me sometimes because the amount of feels I get from her fics is just -idek- astonishing. she deserves every follower and more.

@tayegi SHE HATES JEON BUT LETS BE HONEST SHE’D DIE FOR HIM. ok, now that I got that out of the way…. LU IS THE BEST :) (lmao don’t hate me) “ROOMMATE” AND “TINDER 2.0″ AND ‘IN BLOOM” AND “EQUILIBRIUM” d o you know how many times I’ve read them? think of a number. now, multiply it to the 10^9. I swear this chick aint human, her smut style is just astounding.. to a point where she gets 3k for one fic LMAO GUYS PLEASE GO SEE HER (then again who doesn’t know her/???? LOL) YOUR WRITING IS AMAZING! NEVER STOP AND TAKE YOUR TIME WITH UPDATES IF YOU EVER DECIDE TO BLESS US WITH ONE!

@hobibliophile Last but DEFINITELY NOT fucking LEAST, jules. JUJU. she has many names but her main one is “goddess of fan fiction” I swear this chick is part of the avengers or smth, not with the way she maneuvers words….. also idk her personality in her tags reminds me of Downey Jr.  and omfg I rlly hope thats not a bad thing or smth bcz I love him ANYWAYS BAKC TO JUJU!!!!!— WAIT. OMG. JUJU ON THAT BEAT. JUJU ON THAT BEAT. DID I JUST- WHT TEH FUK WHY AM I LIKE THIS……………..WQHCWBUWUW nANYWYAS tbh i came for the tags for jules, and I stayed for the talent. “Dick-stractions”?? omg I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY.. NAMJJOON…..HES MY WRCKER TOO DID YOU KNOW THAT FIC MADE HIM GO UP BCZ OF YOU? YOURE ALSO THE REASON A BOY WENT UP MY BIAS LIST……. PLEASE GO READ HER E N T I R E MASTERLIST SHE DESERVES GOD himself COMING DOWN KISSING HER CHEEK

These are the people at the top of my head and that I regularly read from, of course there are many more out there :3 plz enjoy them all theres a reason they are on this list!

[lost-gallagher]

Love Murder

Author note: 

This first chapter is just an intruduction so you can get to know Vilde better. Vilde is an depressed girl that sees the world in black and white and can only think about her job whatever when someone new comes in her life everything changes for her. But even thought that her love life is doing great it will be because of her profession that things will start to fall apart.

The story is going to be narrated in Vilde’s perspective and its almost like she is having a flashback as you will understand once you start reading it.

It was supposed Noora to be the main but I changed it cause I realized Vilde is more similiar to the caracther. And I really think she deserved a season so this is me trying to get justice for Vilde. 

By the way Im not sure about the name I gave to this fanfic so I might change it.

So thats it hope u guys like it.

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                           I -  When I first saw you

  - So you're not telling me?  - He finally asked after a long time waiting. After all the badly slept nights for having to wake me up so I would stop screaming, but what he didn't know is that even thought the sound stopped, the screams never do, at least not in my own head. It was almost as if I was a character from a horror movie, where no matter what happens there is the annoying girl always waiting to give that loud scream that even those who are not around get irritated by.

 The problem is that I've no idea what was the exact moment that made me accumulate such an amont of pain, it just happened. All the wrong decisions, one after one, didnt not helped to maked that feeling go away.

 But how could I tell him this words? Tell him that everything that I am is not who I am because I don't know who I am.

 All I know is that I am a ship with no crew, with no route. Or better saying, a airplane with no pilot, that its working on automatic but at one time the fuel will end and the airplane is going to crash and, the problem about the airplane crushing is that who goes aboard also crashes with it.

So how could I be cruel enough to look him in the eyes and say that the airplane is going to crash and Im the reason why. But at the same time how could I be so selfish to let him stay aboard of the airplane, let him stay in my life? Living my yearnings, my dislikes, my happiness, my victories, my defeats when I give him so little and the little that I give has to be taken by force because no matter how much I try to break the wall betwen us, it keeps getting bigger without no sign of stopping any time soon.

 All this questions hang in my head every single day and I try look for an answer but I cant find none. I wanted to blame someone or something but deep down I know that I'm the only one to blame for not accepting something so good and pure and that makes me feel so alive.

I'm the one to blame for keep being a snowball that at every second gets bigger and stronger and for that destructive, able to scroll down the mountain and wreck everything.

So, even thought I can't find any answer that satisfies me, I came to the conclusion that I'm selfish and, how I rather being selfish instead of cruel.

Being slefish means that I want him in my life, that I need him to keep trying to fix me althought I know I can destroy him.

It feels horrible know that I can be the reason of his doom and not doing anything about it. Nevertheless I'm sure that if I ended things between us, that would be his doom. So I prefer to grasp to the idea that he, in trying to fix me, will remain the free, happy, charismatic, lovable, worried and big heart that he has always been.

 I remember the first time I saw him. It was a winter morning, early January, that morning for some reason, which after so long I still can not understand, I decided that I had to get up and go outside to get some fresh air, feel the breeze on my face , simply to feel alive. I usually call this morning another failed attempt to try to heal me.

 I walked for thirty minutes and with every step I took, I became more and more involved in my thoughts. When I was already on my imaginary plane I felt something coming at me with exaggerated force and rocking me in a way that made me lose my balance making me fall in the most disastrous way imaginable.

 - I'm so sorry. Did you cripple yourself? I really apologize. I was so distracted that I did not even see you.

If I wasn't frozen for falling in the snow, these apologies might even have seemed sincere to me, I thought to myself before getting up. - Its okay. - I said in the harshest tone I could.

But it seems that besides being gross, this being is also insistent, because when I was preparing to leave the place, the boy stood in front of me preventing me from crossing.For a moment I did not say anything, I simply stared at him, wanting to push him to get him out of my way and continue my journey. But the more I looked at him the more my body felt less rigid almost as if it were telling me that everything was okay, that I was not in danger.

As I stared at him, I noticed that his face was nothing like I had imagined, when I hitted the ground so hard I could not stop myself from thinking that the author of the this joke, was for sure a brute person. Which was not at all, what anyone could think when looking into his eyes.His bright eyes gave the idea that I was looking at a child who has won his favorite gift. But his structured body show that he is not a child but a man.

 - My name is Magnus. Can I do anything to apologize? Do you need to go to the hospital? The downfall was a bit ugly. - His voice brought me back to reality, putting an end to my thoughts of how someone could have eyes so bright, almost as if he did not know the evil that exists in the world. As if he was living in different universe where bad things are banished and there is only peace and love.

 - As I said, that's okay. - Get out of there as fast as possible, without even saying my name. I did not wantted to spend another ten minutes listening to a complete stranger apologizing and do some small talk just to feel a little better about himself, and then go on with his life as if nothing had happened.

 As soon as I got home I headed straight for the bathroom, a good shower, and getting back to bed was exactly what I needed. When I took off my clothes I noticed that the fall would leave marks, although the pain was not something unbearable, the purple marks on the legs were already beginning to be visible.

 It's like I always say, my place is definitely not in the midst of people and confusions because something disastrous always ends up happening. I have to conform that I am a better self when I'm alone or in a small group of people who I can trust and allow me to be myself, my stranger and unknown self. My self that feels the need to shows its true colors, although I do not even know who that is because I have not seen it for a long time.

______________________________________________________________

 One more day waking up with the annoying sound of the alarm clock. Wake up, it's more a form of expression than the reality of my life, this alarm clock just reminds me that I have to get out of bed to face the world, because awake I'm always. At least that's the impression I have, that as much as I want and try to sleep I just can not, it's almost like my brain does not stop and doesnt even feel the need to stop.

 Despite all my discontent and unwillingness to get out of these four walls that seem to me the safest in the whole world, I joined all my strength and started to get ready. Surely there was no task that I hated the most. Choose an outfit that seems to settle me decently, in my opinion that was an impossible task. And then I had to do my make up, I used to hate having to put any sort of thing in my face, it made me feel uncomfortable and I always wanted to scratch my eyes. But over time I got used to it, especially because I could not appear in the company with the appearance that I had spent the last month at parties instead of dedicate myself to the processes that I've in hand.

Funny that of all the things I have to do to prepare myself to face the day, the thing that I hated the most in the world, became my favorite. Perhaps because it makes me relax, it seemes that time is slowing down, and my mind is on trips to other distant and quiet places, forgetting all the not so good things that my subconscious loved to undervalue.

- I know Noora, I'm late again. What meeting do I have to interrupt again? - I laughed. I think my delays had become a habit because whenever I try to remember the other days the first memory I have is to arrive at the office apologizing for my delays and to have people wait for me. Maybe the reason for not being fired is due to the fact that I own the company because, of course, if I was someone else, I'd already fired her for months.

- None today. She said without finding it funny anymore.- I learnt not to schedule important meetings until 10 a.m. in the morning. But there's a new trainee that's starting today and I've set an appointment for you guys to talk a little bit. He must be arriving at any minute.

I wanted to scream. Intern? But why I have to start the day teaching the basic to someone who should not even know the essentials because he spent every year of university at parties instead of studying?

As much as I wanted to scream and tell her to unschedule it, that he could manage it all by himself, I knew I could not do it. I know how important it was for me to have someone to help me at the beginning of my career. Besides, I always like to have a conversation with my trainees to know where they studied and most importantly if they really have a vocation and desire to go far in this profession.

 -Thank you, Noora. When he arrives, please let me know.

 As soon as I got to my room, I began to take the files from my folder to analyze this case for the thousandth time. It had been six months since I had accepted to represent this family, and no matter how many times I look at it, I can not seem to find a solution. But my intuition tells me not to give up, that they are innocent and that I have to prove it, no matter how difficult or impossible it seems.

 Twenty minutes later, I hear three knocks on my office door, and Noora appears to announce that the trainee has arrived.

For a few seconds there was silence, but then I heard a knock again on the door and a voice asking for consent to enter, which I gave without even looking at the person's face. Another few seconds and I hear the voice again, it seemed nervous, but I understand, in my first day I seemed like a ball of nerves.

 - Good Morning. I'm the new trainee. My new one is Maguns and ... - this voice sounded familiar to me, but the name I was sure I had heard it before.

Then in an act of curiosity, I glared upward and could only hear my voice saying:

 - You? What are you doing here?