#hope this is all comprehensive. i'm not very good at putting this into words

[purble-gaymer]

simple thoughts on meta knight and gender euphoria

[mphountitled]

heyyyy!! my brain gave me a half-assed thought in the nighttime starring best friend/perv!Lee Minho and bimbo!Reader. Minho's ALWAYS flirting with and staring at you, but you just (somehow) never notice. he likes seeing you wear those little outfits that barely cover you up and always mentions that you should only wear that stuff for him. one day he was just at his limit after another failed attempt at flirting. so, he just pushes you against the wall. you can feel how hard he is behind you, but you didn't see this coming so you're freaking out. and he just tells you "i'm gonna have what i want. so you might as well take what i give you."

-💌 (p.s. i hope this was coherent) ((p.p.s. make sure you take time for yourself to rest and just breathe bc that beautiful mind of yours is so so important!! <3))

𝐏𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐲

Lee Minho x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Language, Angst, Insecurities, Jealousy, Possessive!Minho, Smut +18 (Minors DNI) dub/con, Bratty!reader, Brat Tamer!Minho, Perv!Minho, Dom/Sub Themes, Mean Dom!Minho, Degradation Kink, Praise Kink, Grinding, Mutual Masturbation, CNC, Overstimulation

Fueling the Dom!Minho agenda

You did not particularly deal well with being unliked. Everybody has to like you all the time and there is no concrete way to tell your best friend this. Especially while he's driving down the highway, with rain pellets beating down the windshield.

You did not look at Minho when you initially slipped into the car. So completely and utterly suffocated by embarrassment.

The call prior to being picked up had been less than savoury.

"Isn't it too early to be calling me to come save you from your date?" His voice was completely drenched in his ususual smug sarcasm, "Or was he just that fucking boring?"

"I've been stood up and I'm not exactly sure where I am."

Almost immediately, Minho forced you to send your location until he was speeding over to where you sat, in your little dress all alone under the awning of a Michelin star restaurant.

You had thought the worst of the evening was behind you…

The car is completely drenched in silence with neither you, nor Minho knowing exactly how the broach such a sensitive topic. You're embarrassed. He knows this. The only thing evading his understanding is why… Why are you embarrassed when you shouldn't be?

"At least give me a name or an address or something," Minho's voice is dangerously low and you peer up at him with wide eyes from the passenger seat. Seeing him so put together is wholly off putting. Dressed in nothing but his sweats and a polo shirt- all black, all Tom Ford- Minho's gaze is fucking deadly as he glares at the road ahead. His frustration manifests in the form of whitened knuckles gripping a steering wheel for dear life.

"Minho, I'm not giving you his address just so you can go and harass him." The fact that you even had to reiterate this is beyond your comprehension.

"I honest-to-God, just wanna have a word with the guy..." Minho says, swinging his head towards you, completely paralysing you with the depths of his endless dark eyes. Instead of waging a war with Minho (one you knew you couldn't possibly win,) you choose to accept defeat. It consumes your entire countenance as you sink down into the passenger seat, avoiding eye contact.

"Why can't anyone love me?" The rain droplets rattling Minho's vehicle only amplifies the question and for the umpteenth time tonight, Minho is overcome with mass frustration. Again, you should not be the one feeling unwanted. You should not be letting scum of the very earth dictate the trajectory of your self worth. To make matters impossibly worse, another car swerves into his lane, completely cutting him off from a seamless drive.

"Jesus, Fuck!" While Minho curses out the driver, you keep your head against the window.

"I think I'm cursed to stay single and bitchless for the rest of my life."

You didn't get it.

You were a fairly good girl, never once stepping out of bounds. Not at work: where you worked so diligently for a boss who didn't always deserve it.

Not in your adolescence: Where you never rebelled, not even once. You lovingly spared your parents all the heartache even after you matured enough to go to college.

Perhaps the reason all your dates ended with a certified ghosting was because you simply weren't cut out for relationships. That is the most harrowing thought of them all...

Minho's voice pipes up from beside you, effectively saving you from slipping into self pity, "I think you're overlooking one major factor when it comes to staying single and bitchless for the rest of your life," You're already rolling your eyes, "And what's that?"

You can practically hear the pompous smirk as Minho says, "I'm right here. I'm always right here."

Instead of responding, your tone remains wistful and airy.

"The guy took one look at me and gassed the fuck out of the restaurant." Your blood pressure is being shot to hell at just the very thought of the man (who had contacted you first, thank you very much).

"It's like he decided reality didn't match what he saw on tinder and took it all back..." you conclude your rant with a heavy and listless exhale.

Minho, who continued to glare at the wet tar road ahead, allows his mind to conjure up every possible way your 'date' might've died on his way home. Instead of voicing these homicidal thoughts, Minho instead, cleverly and cooly asks, "What kind of weirdos are you going on dates with?"

Your reply comes sickeningly quick. "The kind of weirdos that give me the time of day," and to make matters impossibly worse, you attach a pitiful and dry chuckle to the end of your sentence. "Not everyone is like you, Minho. Not everyone has the luxury of being the object of everyone's desires." His stomach sinks deeper and deeper with the sadness that coats your voice. Anything that might save him from this suffocating feeling at the bottom of his stomach brought on by the sadness in your tone.

"I just don't get it?" Your sad eyes watch as Minho pulls into the parking lot of his apartment complex.

"I didn't smell bad ‘cus I made sure to wear Chanel number five-" Minho can do nothing except clench his jaw. His grip on the steering wheel is deadly as he eases his car into the vacant spot… “and this dress Lix bought me for graduation- I mean he assured me I don't look fucking bloated in it so I assume I looked fine." He tries to make it through your pity party, really, he does. Whenever you found yourself in this state, slipping deeper and deeper into your insecurities, Minho found it terribly difficult to pull you out.

Difficult but not impossible

"I'm telling you," he chooses to say instead, righting his shoulders and cutting off the engine as he forces that confident smirk back onto his face, "If you wanna get laid so badly I'm always a phone call away...."

Instead of entertaining Minho's words, your mind wanders, “Maybe I'm just not hardwired for a relationship. Maybe all I'll have until I reach my deathbed is my rose toy and 5000 cats-”

“False. You have my fingers any time. Or my mouth-”

And for some reason, that statement alone… that one little flirt becomes the undoing of your sanity. “MINHO BE SERIOUS FOR FIVE FUCKING SECONDS JESUS CHRIST!” You do not know, nor do you care if your voice is loud enough to bleed outside, enough to disrupt any passerbys. You've fucking had it.

With men who disappoint you.

With men who say they'll show up but choose not to.

“I'm telling you I fucking failed this evening! I failed and you're not listening-

In what appears to be a snarky remark to the side, Minho mumbles, “I'm not the one that's not listening-”

“I don't need your teasing right now, Jesus! The fact that I have to spell that out-” you release a sigh “Fucking never mind,” you feel utterly defeated, and before you brain catches up to the movement of your hands, you're already typing frantically for a ride assistance app.

Minho scoffs incredulously. That sunshine smile bleeds quickly into a dangerous glare and he watches as you type frantically across your screen. “Say what you gotta say.”

“I didn't ask you to come pick me up, just so you could interrogate me-” before your sentence could become another uphill screaming match you shake your head in a way that has Minho's knuckles whitening across the inactive steering wheel. His patience was dwindling dismally and he had the vaguest suspicion that you know this.

In fact, you might have always known this: Which buttons to push to get which reaction.

He's noticed it for a while since the peroration of your ‘friendship’. Something that blossomed into a friendship when he so very clearly tried to make it everything but.

“I'm gonna take an Uber home,” you say in a tone he can only describe as bratty.

“I swear to fucking God.” he says, manic eyes crinkling at the sides in a smile of disablief, his tongue jutting against the inside of his cheek.

Minho's not sure what he wants to do but he's damn sure you're not going to like it. “If you set foot out of this car-” He pinches the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index. Quietly muttering Korean expletives while you sit meekly, taking your scolding. “If you set foot out this car-”

“You're not my father, Minho,” he flinches. “I'm getting my uber-”

“Try it, see what happens.”

“Minho, goodnight.”

The last thing you expect to feel as your hand touches the car handle, is Minho’s larger hand covering your wrist in a calloused grip. His hand is firm, almost concrete and before you're able to process this, he's already dragging your face towards him.

“W-What the f-fuck, Minho, let me go!” the words come out mangled and squashed because Minho has his hands squishing your cheeks in an equally iron grip. Enough to have your teeth pushing against the inside of your cheeks. Enough to have tears stinging your eyes.

“Why the fuck do you never listen?” He whispers, almost to himself. As if he's completely forgotten about the girl, leaning over the centre console because he's squishing her cheeks for dear life. You anticipate the bruises. You can almost feel them coming on.

“It's like you purposely want to piss me off-”

Despite the aircon pouring warm hair to combat the Korean chill you feel very much icy all over. It's as if the chill has seeped into your very bones and it's not long until you're completely wracked in a series of violent shivers. You have never experienced anything like this.

Minho watches in apparent awe at the way your pupils, dark as they, dilate into even darker slits. His hand shifts silently from your cheeks, to your jaw, and lower until his hand is wrapping around your neck.

“Are you wearing panties right now?”

The question hurtles through your foggy brain like a runaway train until you're forced to bore your eyes into his, “What?”

“Which pair are you wearing right now?” He asks, despite the hand already drifting from your neck, all the way down your body. He swipes his hand against your slightly damp skin, prying your thighs apart with his hand as if it were nothing. “I wanna see which you were planning to have on for him,” he knew he wouldn't like, whatever the outcome may be, but he's only just begun this game and he's not ready to stop.

“Minho.” Your hand shoots out to cradle his bicep, which proves to be a deeply harrowing mistake for someone as inexperienced as you are because his arms are so firm, so taut. You instinctively find your thighs opening just a fraction wider, even as you say, “I don't think we should do this.” You begin oh so slowly. Hoping to convey with your eyes, that which you refused to say with your lips. “I want you to stop.” Minho is absolutely breathless at the sight of the stars sparkling in your dazed eyes.

He knows exactly what you want and he's damn well going to give it to you. An escape.

“I've never known a bigger slut than you, you know that?” So casual. So forward. His words nearly have you whimpering into the quiet air.

“I can see how badly you want this,” Never ever letting his gaze stray from your helpless expression, Minho pushes his hand further into the apex of your thighs and you wait. You wait with bated breath for the euphoria to trickle in by the cold tips of his fingers touching the lace of your underwear. “You want it so bad, don't you?”

“I-I- don't,” you force the words out with your hands unknowingly wrapping themselves around Minho's forearm. “This whole time, you knew,” he laughs dryly as he lets the pad of his fingers finally reach your clothed cunt. Your legs are trembling. “You fucking knew I wanted you and yet you still went on your little date anyways,”

That has you momentarily slipping out of your subspace, but before he lets that happen, he's rubbing slow circles against your cunt, with his right hand, a hand closest to the console, easier to reach the most intimate parts of you.

“didn't know, Minho,” the whimpers leaving your mouth are soft, so intimate, like the colour pink personified and it has Minho squeezing his eyes shut for all of a few tense seconds.

When his eyes flutter open again, the old Minho is nowhere to be found. Gone is the overly flirty best friend. Gone is the unnecessary jokester. Gone is the dry humour. The only thing in its place is a stone whisper of a smirk as he says, “Ride my hand.”

“W-What-”

“You don't talk,” he says, before sliding your panties to the side, “Useless little girls don't get to talk.” He says, racking a moan from straight out your throat as his hand presses against your drenched heat. “Useless little girls don't even get to speak.”

“Minho-”

“All you think about is getting to cum, right?” There's so much of a condescending nature in its tone, it almost has you instinctively tightening your grip on the forearm between your legs and pushing your heat against his fingers. The sight of you so worked up by his bad words have Minho cursing under his breath.

You're watching him as if he invented the stars, as if to say ‘What else’, and it drives him to complete madness.

“F-Fuck,”

“She knows how to say bad words,” he cackles as you squish your soaked cunt against his calloused palm. His knuckles are pressed firmly into the seat and his wrist is giving out but his horny brain fog is far too powerful.

“That's it, Petal,” he says, watching almost as if slipping into his own trance, “fuck my hand, I wanna see how bad you want it-”

“P-Please-” You whisper, “I need your cock-”

“You don’t get to make demands when you're being punished,” he mumbles, before leaning his head back against his seat, watching you desperately try to bring yourself to orgasm by rutting your hips against his hand. “Unless, you don't need my help and you'd rather just make yourself cum-”

“NO!” you keep a firm grip on his forearm, bottom lip quivering as you stare at him with wide eyes. “I'm s-so close, please.”

Minho can't help it. The very act of you asking him for something as sacred as an orgasm… It has him trying to adjust the bulge forming in his sweatpants.

“You're close, yeah?” He asks, now entering his own pleasure. He slips his left hand into his boxers while he watches you ride his hand.

“You’re close from humping that wet pussy against my hand?”

“Oh god, yes,”

“You’re such a good fucking girl you know that?” His breathing is heavy now because he's jerking himself off to the same pace as your cunt rubbing itself against his hand.

“You're such a good whore,” he whispers.

“Call me that again- p-please I’m gonna cum!”

“I've always wanted to treat you like the whore I know you are,” he whispers, watching as your eyes slip to the back of your skull, “I hated watching you go on those dates.”

“M-Minho-”

“Kill them,” he whispers silently, “I’ve fucking wanted to kill every single one of them.” he squeezes his cock, feeling his own ripples of pleasure shoot down your spine.

“Y-Yours,” you whisper, “I'm yours-”

“F-Fuck baby-” Sensing Minho slipping into his own prgasm, you grind your cunt harder against his hand. It doesn't take much for you to make a complete mess all over his seats. You're both wracked with a wave of shivers and Minho tries to keep his eyes open as he milks his cock for all it's got. He wants to watch your hips stutter. He wants to see how you look when you cum and he wants to commit it to memory.

He decides it's the most addictive thing he's ever seen.

“No fucking way you made me cum all over myself like some fuckcing teenager,” he grumbles, staring down at the mess he's made all over his shirt.

You're still a panting shivering mess and you yelp when Minho squeezes your sensitive, overstimulated clit.

“Hey,” he says, gaining your attention immediately, “No more dates yeah?”

You do nothing but nod.

<3

© to @mphountitled on tumblr; do not repost

[prince-liest]

Yo, I'm writing a pre canon fic in which young fanboy Vox gets assigned as Alastor's assistant by Lilith, any tips for characterising him?

I think you have a lot of room for leeway and playing around since you're working with pre-canon, but the main points that I tend to at least personally keep around as a scaffold for writing Vox are:

He's got a Charisma modifier of, like, +4. This doesn't mean he's always suave - in fact, he's pretty pathetic around Alastor in particular! But he knows how to put on a performance that appeals to his intended audience, whether that be a customer base whose trust he's winning over, or a fellow Vee that he's trying to wrangle into behaving. He switches between ridiculous showmanship and collected CEO, and this works for him despite both personas being rife with overcompensation.

Every single one of the Vees including Vox thinks they're the only normal, reasonably-behaving person in the room, it's wild.

He's smart, he's capable, he's manipulative. He's good at knowing what people want and how to leverage that to sell them those things. The general population thinks he's #goals thanks to the image he puts forth.

He's a piece of shit that has no qualms with Valentino's behavior with Angel Dust, Velvette selling date rape drugs, or abusing his own hypnosis ability to manipulate people into buying his products (which include spyware literally advertised to voyeurs). This is part of the fun of this character!!

I think he has a lot of very fun physicality to him (as do most of the Hazbin Hotel characters), and I really recommend re-watching some of his scenes to get the hang of how he moves and interacts with people physically because you'd be surprised at how much that can add to characterization even in a non-visual format like writing.

...I also genuinely think he's kind of a horny bastard, to whatever extent and rating your story could even use that, but that's me extrapolating from his behavior around both Alastor and Valentino. It's just a fun cherry on top of the "low impulse control around Alastor" thing, because he's got so much going for him on the intelligence front that it's really funny to me when he tangibly switches to thinking with his dick.

And, of course, on the subject of Alastor in particular:

He's obsessive, and Alastor makes all of his impulse control go out the window. I started using the "Vox's One-sided Psychosexual Obsession with Alastor (Hazbin Hotel)" tag for a reason, and it's that I think it's in fact really funny how much evidence we get in canon that Vox doesn't just hate Alastor and want to dominate him, he'd also probably roll right over into the affectionately wheedling persona he uses with Valentino if Alastor suggested he'd take it well.

We don't just see Vox wanting Alastor dead, we also see Alastor telling us that Vox first asked him to join him; the torn-in-half photo of them standing together; and Vox pretty much popping a boner over Alastor getting wrecked by Adam, nevermind how manically he jumps around to get a word in before Alastor even shows his face during Stayed Gone. Even his little "Fu-uu-uuuuuck!" at the end of the song is like 50% actual despair and 50% :pleading: emoji. He wants Alastor, obviously, and I think a lot of the anger that he's projecting at Alastor in canon is specifically anger at being rejected, which is frantically covering up the fact that he is still desperately, embarrassingly into the radio deer. If Alastor won't join him, Vox has to beat him.

Anyway, I love this funky little TV. This was by no means a comprehensive guide or anything like that, but I hope it helped share at least some of my personal thoughts on writing him!

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

i hope this isn't a weird ask, but i'm looking for some hope. i consider myself really fucking stupid. i don't think i have good "critical thinking" skills, or even good reading comprehension. do you think it's possible to get better at those things?

as i mentioned earlier, my answer is yes. as i also mentioned, i genuinely think that the fact that you are less than confident about your skills in these areas is itself valuable and not as common as it probably should be. i have worked with a fair number of kids, both in the elementary school classroom and in the upper grades for test prep stuff, whose reading comprehension isn't great, but who genuinely do not seem to notice there is anything off about their reading until they have to answer questions about it. they're in the habit of just glossing by a lot of stuff and not noticing. i have met kids who would swear to you they love to read who cannot accurately recount what actually happens in the scene they just read, but who seem pretty confident that what they're doing is reading. so if you're going around reading stuff and thinking, "hey, that's confusing" - congratulations! you are great at self-assessing your own comprehension. this is REALLY HARD for a lot of people to do.

i also think it's actually important to NOT think of either reading comprehension or critical thinking as a binary on/off switch, where you're either good at it or bad at it. both of these things are spectrums. in addition, both of these things are context dependent. there are a lot of things i have pretty good reading comprehension for. there are also types of text where my reading comprehension is straight-up bad: scientific papers published for other scientists to read; philosophy or literary theory of any kind; poetry. i tried to reread laura mulvey's original "male gaze" essay because i suspected people were using the concept wrong both in its favor, and i couldn't meaningfully follow its argument (although i think i am probably right because i don't really believe that many randos are so much better at interpreting freudian film theory than i am, lmao). these are all examples of texts where i don't have a lot of background knowledge in the subject area or a lot of experience reading this kind of thing. they are also mostly things i don't care enough about to put in the time and effort to get better at. (sometimes i think about trying to do this with poetry, but i have not prioritized this yet, to say the least.)

critical thinking also depends majorly on familiarity with a topic or at least with a field. i'll give you an example. on the podcast maintenance phase, the hosts attempt to apply critical thinking to common perceptions of scientific research. some of their points are good, and many of them sound convincing to me, a person who doesn't know a lot about science. but i soured on the podcast over time largely because on the subreddit for the show, an attempt at a scientific deep dive often brought at least one person who was like, "i have some expertise in this field and they are wrong." sometimes this is about interpreting a specific study (or, uh basic factual shit like the definition of a word), but a lot of times it's about big picture stuff that is hard to think about if you don't have experience in the field. one recent example that interested me was regarding a study done on ozempic. the hosts mentioned that in the trial, (iirc) two people died. sounds scary and not great! someone on reddit pointed out, though, that this was a very large study that recorded deaths for any reason - it's probably not statistically anomalous that two out of however many people died, and there's no evidence to indicate that ozempic had anything to do with it. i appreciated this science-minded redditor because i definitely listened to the episode and was like, wow! scary! but when i read that explanation i was like, oh, okay, yeah.

i am not any kind of expert, and i guess you didn't technically ask for advice, but here are some things that may or may not be helpful.

with regard to reading comprehension:

struggle is a normal part of reading, especially of reading complicated texts. if you are struggling with a text, it does NOT mean you "have bad reading comprehension" or are fucking up. it indicates you have good self-awareness about your own level of comprehension.

i don't have research on this one. this is speculation. but my hunch is that for people who have a certain baseline level of reading comprehension, reading things that are challenging to understand over time increases the amount of stuff you can read easily. i was definitely better at reading books by historians at the end of my history degree than i was at the start. and honestly, i was also better at it after i spent like a year obsessively reading books about new york city history than i was when i graduated!

related to that, it's okay to understand something mostly but not all the way!

it's also okay to determine your own goals for understanding, and spend your time appropriately! i have a terrible visual imagination so to really fully "comprehend" any passage in any novel that describes the layout of a room, i would have to get a notebook out and draw it. i'm not gonna do that. (weirdly, though, i often love reading that shit anyway, haha.)

there is a lot of research out there emphasizing the importance of background knowledge to comprehension. (natalie wexler has written a book about this i haven't read, along with some articles i have read.) the scary way to look at this link is, "oh no, how can i learn all the things i need to know?" the awesome and exciting way to look at it is, every time you learn something, it widens the circle of things you can read, which means it widens the circle of things you can learn about, which means you can keep leaning.

you can also google stuff. one time i was confused by a book's explanation of a government policy so i googled and found some articles that covered it in more detail. (and also discovered that the specific example the book had used had been phased out of the law by the time it was published, lol.)

there are some strategies that have been found to increase reading performance, but the research around these is mostly around them as teaching strategies. my favorite reading guy timothy shanahan has speculated that the thing the strategies all have in common is they're ways of getting kids to actually pay attention when they read. the main strategy i think has value for people who want to get better at reading on their own is summarizing. every so often, take a moment to put into your own words what you've just read. how often will depend on what you are reading and how challenging it is. every paragraph is a often a good benchmark for something dense, especially as you are getting used to reading like this. every page or every chapter might be more appropriate for something like a novel. there have been times when i've done this sentence by sentence because something was really fucking dense! (a general note: this can also help people who feel their reading comprehension is mostly fine but have a lot of trouble remembering what they read. when i started doing this kind of thing consciously it improved my recall a lot, and i had a decent memory for textual information to begin with.) (if you REALLY want a power-up, taking notes is great, but most people understandably don't want to do this for their recreational reading.) over time there is also a good chance that you'll start doing this more fluidly and automatically as you read and not have to choose to do it consciously as much. but if not that's ok!

a strategy that is not always a natural fit for reading on your own but can be useful for certain kinds of reading is setting yourself questions to answer and then seeing if you can answer them. obviously, this typically makes more sense as a teaching strategy because how can you know what a text will contain until you read it? but there are times you can make a pretty educated guess, or stick to a really basic thing like "what is [thing this is promising to explain]?" i once picked up a particular NYC history book because it had been cited somewhere else as containing an account of the consolidation for the five boroughs. it was a really dense book and i decided that while i probably wouldn't retain many of the details its covered, i really wanted to learn from this book the author's answer to why the boroughs became one. four years later i still remember most of the reasons he gave! (harbor maintenance; economic competition with other large cities; a belief in some quarters that brooklyn would be a good influence on the manhattan political machine; i think there was one or two more but i'm 95% sure those were the ones cited as being most important.)

look up words! honestly tutoring has made ME realize how many words out there i "sort of" know but can't provide great definitions for, lol. a site i always recommend for my students doing vocab is learnersdictionary.com, which is by the encyclopedia britannica people and aimed for kids. it's a pretty full dictionary, but the definitions, while still accurate, are a lot more "user-friendly" than most dictionary definitions, which can be technical in a way that makes them less than illuminating.

for critical thinking:

honestly at LEAST half your battle is won. the main error i see people make in the realm of critical thinking is believing they are qualified to assess information they are not in fact qualified to do. the name of the game is humility.

i think my own critical thinking skills have really benefited from times when i've been able to read multiple perspectives on a fairly narrow topic. when i was in my NYC history era (i really gotta get back on that train), one thing i did was that every time i finished a book, i popped over to JSTOR to see if any scholars had reviewed it. i specifically wanted scholarly reviews because those are the people who can point out things i would NEVER have thought of because i did not have their years of expertise. for example, i read this one jill lepore book that was... fine... but there was a review of it that was like, "it's weird that based on her sources she didn't consult the largest and most important archive related to this place during this period, and as a result is mistaken about how common or uncommon certain things she describes are." i have never heard of that archive so i am glad someone pointed that out!

you can't always do that, obviously, and also sometimes you don't want to. but i think doing that regularly for a while helped me increase my intellectual humility and build the habit of filing things i read as "interesting if true" while leaving room for the fact that maybe they're not. (honestly the maintenance phase subreddit felt like a podcast version of this, lol, and i appreciated it a lot!)

idk. there is a fad these days for teaching "critical thinking skills"; as i mentioned in the post i assume prompted this, there is also debate about whether this is even a thing. in grad school, i felt like i saw a lot of people who had learned to mimic what they thought of as critical thinking by asking things like, "what about kids who belong to [a particular underrepresented group]?" or "how does the author have bias?" and those are good questions to ask, but knowing to ask those questions is not the same as thinking critically. if i were to try to give a shorthand question that guides my own attempts to think critically, it would be something like, "how does this person establish that what they claim to be true is actually true?" the sources they use are part of this, yes, but, again, asking "what about the sources???" is not, in and of itself, critical thinking. you also have to think about things like, "they go from this idea to that idea, but does idea 2 actually follow from idea 1?" and the number one bias you have to watch out for is your own.

i want to state again here that this is not a binary and the goal is not to be good at it, it's to keep getting better. years ago, i read an article in the atlantic by a professor of math education about the importance of counting on one's fingers in early math. i was like, wow, that's so cool and interesting. i had a first grader who was really struggling with some very basic stuff, and i did some exercises from the article with him because i thought they might help. maybe three years later, if that, i came across the article again, because i had just looked up something else by the author and been like, "wait, what? this seems blatantly not factual?" i remembered that i had liked this thing she had said about finger-counting, and i went back to try to figure out if that one had been better or if i had been mistaken, and i was, like, horrified that the atlantic had printed this and that i had once read it and nodded along like "so true bestie." the article was full of leaps in logic that sounded good but weren't actually supported at all. i'm sharing this story because if you feel like you are bad at critical thinking.... like, me too, sometimes!!!!! everyone is!!!!! if someone tells you they are super awesome at critical thinking all the time, that person is a fucking idiot and you shouldn't trust them for shit!!!!!

one other thing i can't not address: i once not too long ago made a post to the effect of "my life got a lot better when i accepted the possibility of being stupid," so i did not want to harp on this off the bat or too strongly for fear of being a hypocrite, lol, and i don't want to argue with you, a total stranger, about your perception of yourself, because i am allergic to people doing that to me. however, i would feel wrong not to mention that the specific phrasing and language you use in your ask suggests to me that when you think of yourself as "really fucking stupid," there is likely a significant emotional component in that belief and the emotions that it brings up in you, and i would be pretty surprised if it were not at least partly a reflection of your general relationship with yourself. i am telling you this because it reminds me of the way that i used to think about myself in my brain. i reliably performed well academically when i wasn't having a nervous breakdown, but i thought of myself as deeply stupid until mid twenties. there are a couple of factors i can point to regarding why i don't feel that way anymore, but by far the biggest, i think, is just that i don't hate myself the way i used to. thinking of myself as stupid in the particular vitriolic way your ask reminded me of was never actually about my smarts or lack thereof. it was just a manifestation of my deep and painful self-loathing. so i encourage you to cultivate a way of being kind to yourself, of forgiving yourself, of letting go of the shame you might be carrying about your skills or about other things that might seem unrelated. my final answer to your question is that there's hope for your capacity to grow, but it's also okay for you to be where you are. this is about reading, but it's also about everything else.

finally, if you are confused about anything i've written here, feel free to ask for clarification. i am good with words and i've tried to be clear, but one of the writing-related skills i suck MOST at is being able to gauge whether or not i have written something in a needlessly confusing way, lmao.

[sunnflowyyr]

heyo! first of all i LOVE your writing, I aspire to write as well as you one day <3 I wanted to request some headcanons with the rise boys w/ a gn reader who’s mute!! please don’t feel like you have to answer this, feel free to ignore/delete!!

aaa, hey there !! first of all, thank you so much for your kind words !! i'm sorry for taking so long to get to your request, but i've thought about your idea since it popped into my inbox so i'm excited to finally put it all into this post. i am my own critic and i bully myself until i like my content; so i took a while with this one.

quick disclaimer: i do not have a lot of knowledge about mute individuals, but i did some research during the writing of this fic to try to be as respectful as possible and to also educate myself; however, my comprehension skills aren't the greatest. if i have inaccurately represented this community with misleading information (or if i have misunderstood mutism as a whole), please let me know and i'll correct my work to reflect accurate information. it is never my intention to hurt or offend anyone. - much love, sun

i hope you enjoy !! <3

-

rise!turtles with a mute reader

Raph

i imagine april introduces you to the turtles and that he doesn't really clue into you are being mute at first

mainly because he didn't read the group chat message where april tells the turtles you're mute (he never reads the gc, smfh)

so he always feels bad when he talks to you and you just kind of smile or blink

since he doesn't realize, he just overthinks about why you don't answer back

maybe you don't like him? is he annoying? too loud?

can you smell his "I'm Nervous About Meeting New People" stink?

so when he tells his brothers and they clue him in, it just clicks for him

it makes him feel closer to you because he grew up mute

(i saw a hc once that raph was mute as a kid and no, i will not be convinced otherwise)

you might notice a slight behavior change

he'd normally be a little awkward or stiff in conversation before, but now he finds a way to communicate with you!

even if you don't talk, he'll find a way to keep you in conversation

especially because he can talk a lot if he thinks no one is annoyed by his rambling

the longer he knows you, the longer he picks up on your nonverbal cues and you both find an easy way to communicate with each other

he can't sign very well (just because of the lack of fingers) but he knows how to interpret ASL so you can communicate with him !!

Leo

honestly doesn't notice it from the first time he meets you

also doesn't read the group chat

mainly because he talks so much that he doesn't pay attention to how quiet you are

though when he does notice, he might ask about it?

not to embarrass you, though; he might tease people about a lot of things, but even he knows his limits on that

we love a respectful king

he's just curious about the details, but definitely doesn't push you into telling him about it

he's a nosey mf he can't help himself

all of the brothers (him included) will speak up for you

if you're comfortable with that, of course

"hey, they said no pickles."

he might be sassier about it though, just because he's leo

but he'll do it a million times over

he's also pretty good at picking up on nonverbal cues and body language (because of raph being mute and donnie having nonverbal moments)

if you're uncomfortable? tired? excited? overwhelmed?

leo is here for you

Donnie

knows immediately because he actually reads the group chat

like the others, he knows how to communicate with you

especially with sign language, because he actually knows it and can sign really well?

he actually finds it nice to communicate with you this way as well, especially during some nonverbal moments

and sometimes he can really ramble on; even more so if it's about his interests and superior tech

so signing helps him slow down (because he wants to make sure you can interpret his signing; having three fingers can make it difficult) and watch for your replies

there might be days where you both sit in a comfortable silence (or he just watches you if you want to communicate), or he's really verbal

he can either ramble or keep it short and simple; it really just depends on his mood

but he quietly appreciates the understanding between the both of you

he can see how excited you are about everyone talking about something you're interested in; you wanna join, but it's hard to keep up with their voices and it can be overwhelming

what's wrong, (name)? - donnie asks in ASL

when you tell him he immediately finds a way to stop the conversation

"(name) has something to say about that."

ALL of the brothers look out for you, but he would the most

Mikey

"knows immediately because he actually reads the group chat": the sequel

this boy will do all of the verbal talking for the both of you

he's not necessarily over-talkative, but enjoys having conversations

i'm projecting in the next headcanon but hear it out okay

when mikey was a kid, he grew up with a speech delay

it wasn't until his he was between age 8-9 that he began to improve in his speech

because of it however, he relied heavily on gestures and used very little words unless he was unsure of how to express himself

it was a frustrating for him as a kid; not being able to communicate as well with his brothers

excluding donnie from that cause he taught himself ASL, then taught mikey some words to help him

he wants to make sure you feel heard and that you're comfortable

be prepared because if he knows you're fine with it, he'll rope you into group conversations like donnie does

he understands ASL pretty well, but he won't sign back most of the time; he just has a hard time with it

like leo, he's also pretty good at noticing your body language

i mention reader knowing ASL a lot (aligning it with the fact that i hc the turtles knowing it), but if you don't use it to communicate?

the turtles value your friendship and will adapt any form of communication so you can talk with them!!

you just write on a small whiteboard? mikey's got plenty of supplies for you in his room

if you use a text to speech program? they wait patiently for your reply

as i said, they value you as an individual and welcome you into their little family with opens arms <3

[spanishskulduggery]

Hiii!! I've just discovered your blog and I want to say that as a native spanish speaker (from Madrid) I find your posts really interesting.

Also, I wanted to add something about the "se" in passive sentences. I didn't see you mentioning the name of passives with se but it might be helpful for some people. To remember how it's used and what for.

The type of sentences that are passive and use the se like se venden pisos (flats are being sold) are called pasivas reflejas (reflexive passives, more or less) because the passive verb is accompanied by se, called marca de pasiva refleja, which as you mentioned in othe cases serves to emphasize actions on certain objects. That's why it's called refleja. To compare:

Reflexive passive: Se venden (los) pisos.

Normal passive: (Los) pisos son vendidos.

Having said that, I'm going to ramble a bit. I've always been curious about how much grammar is studied in other countries because, as far as I know, spanish is the only language that places so much importance on learning the grammar rules. From the age of 10 we have to learn sintax, morphology and grammar analysis, and it's a big part of one the exams we have to take in Selectividad. Everyone knows the list of prepositions and different types of passives, impersonal forms, types of se... idk I just want to know if it's only here or in other countries too.

And I just want to congratulate you on having such an interesting blog as this one. I hope you're having a good day and that I didn't bore you with this ask.

First of all, thank you!

Second: Ahh that makes sense. I've come to learn how to use them but I was never taught the actual words for some of the linguistic concepts (which is how I stumbled upon dativo ético when looking for what things were actually called)

I can't speak for everyone, but I will say that when I first took Spanish in elementary school it was more unstructured - we learned words, verbs, some conjugations, but it wasn't as comprehensive as I would have liked. We focused a lot on conjugation more than anything

In high school, it was much more structured (we go from Spanish 1 to Spanish 4 in the US; in my school you needed to take 2 years of a foreign language but I wanted to learn Spanish so I took all the classes)

There it was the regular verbs, irregular verbs, stem-changing verbs, word order, preterite, imperfect, a bit of the subjunctive, future, conditional, commands, etc.

I didn't really learn subjunctive completely until university, but I was also not getting the best grades in Spanish because I had to unlearn things that were wrong or put things into context... like knowing the prepositions, but not knowing that some verbs take different prepositions [there was a lot of esperar para for "wait for", things like that that are very wrong, or not knowing sino and pero]

College was different in that I was also taking language classes with composition and literature, so I was seeing more of the language

But we weren't taught a lot of the linguistics. We really made it as far as imperfect subjunctive, and Spanish 4 was a lot of talk about the subjunctive

Finally understanding preterite/imperfect, things like imperfect subjunctive vs future subjunctive, passive voice [we learned the normal passive but didn't really touch on reflexive passive], and other things native speakers do with pronomials didn't come until much later and during this blog

I feel like a lot of the education I had was based on grammar and fundamentals, but not as in depth in grammar as you would get as a native speaker. I did take classes in translation to get better used to how Spanish worked grammatically compared to English, and I was doing lots of literature classes with literary analysis in Spanish so I got a lot of reading/writing practice. But there was less emphasis on linguistics which... I feel like even a bit of linguistics would have helped

This is also an aside but I was taking other languages too and when I took German briefly it was then that I really understood the concepts of accusative/direct objects and dative/indirect objects... I felt like I was learning more from comparison than what was covered in classes. My textbooks were also very formally written and some quite old... as in still using éste and considering CH its own letter; and I specifically remember guion being guión in my vocabulary lists

I think I had a lot of training with fundamentals, but not as much with advanced grammar and there was very little discussion of linguistics or morphology... and syntax we talked about things like how sentences work with questions or commands, but less so about how subject placement can change things. I was also taught things but they were not explained thoroughly sometimes, like why se is used in irse or why it's se busca or what the difference between the -iera/-ara and -iese/-ase forms were [just that they were there and considered interchangeable in my more Latin American textbook]

I think I learned more about irregular conjugations and exceptions to rules than most native speakers (like I was learning asir which I've never seen a single person use in my life)

[thewriteadviceforwriters]

How do I know if a wip is finished? For example, I only have left a messy paragraph that contains a good idea I want to add but I just don’t like how it sounds and can’t find a way to make it sound better, and I feel like if I leave it like that the wip doesn’t look completed… I’m not sure to know what is lacking… Thanks in advance!

Thank you for your submission. I was a little uncertain about this question when you mentioned "paragraph," as I'm not sure if you meant "draft." However, I came to the conclusion that you were referring to including a story idea that you want to add, but it may not be fully developed to fit in your story. I hope I understood correctly and that I give you the right response. If you have any further inquiries, I'm always available to provide answers.

How to Know if a Work in Progress Novel is Finished

Introduction

As writers, one of the most challenging aspects of the creative process is knowing when to deem a novel as finished. concept of "finished" may vary for each writer, but there are some general guidelines that can help you determine if your work in progress novel is ready to be put out into the world. I'll try my best to help you explore those guidelines and provide useful tips to ensure you have a comprehensive understanding of when your novel is truly complete.

Defining a Finished Novel

Before delving into the signs of a completed novel, let's establish what it means for a novel to be "finished." In essence, a finished novel signifies that the writer has successfully crafted a cohesive story that satisfies both the plot development and character arcs. It implies that every loose end has been addressed, providing a sense of fulfillment to the readers. However, it is essential to recognize that each writer's process is unique, making "finished" a subjective concept.

General Guidelines

While there is no one-size-fits-all answer to determining when a novel is done, there are some crucial factors to consider:

Have you answered all of your major plot questions?

The first indication of a finished novel is ensuring that all essential plot questions have been resolved. Your readers should have a clear understanding of the storyline and its development. Address any lingering questions and tie up loose ends to provide a satisfactory conclusion.

Have you resolved all of your character arcs?

Characters play a significant role in drawing readers into the world of your novel. Thus, it is important to ensure that each character's arc has been effectively resolved. Characters should experience growth, change, and overcome their conflicts. Evaluate if your characters have undergone meaningful journeys and if their arcs contribute to the overall narrative.

Does the ending feel satisfying and complete?

The way a novel concludes can leave a lasting impression on readers. The ending should provide a sense of closure while leaving room for interpretation, if desired. Ensure that your novel's ending resonates emotionally, providing a fitting conclusion based on the story's overall tone and themes.

Have you read your novel aloud to yourself or to someone else?

Reading your work aloud can help identify any issues with sentence structure, flow, and pacing. By vocalizing the words, you gain a different perspective and can recognize any inconsistencies or areas that may require improvement. Additionally, consider sharing your work with a trusted listener who can provide valuable feedback from an external standpoint.

Do you still feel excited about your novel, or are you starting to feel bored or disengaged?

As a writer, your passion for your work should continue to burn bright until the very end. Examine your own emotions and gauge whether you still possess the excitement and engagement that compelled you to embark on this creative journey. If you find yourself growing bored or disinterested, it may be an indication that further work is required to rekindle the spark.

Seek feedback from beta readers or critique partners. (Great tip for your situation)

To gain an outside perspective on your novel, consider involving trusted beta readers or critique partners. They can provide valuable insights, highlighting areas that need improvement or clarification. By exposing your work to fresh eyes, you can obtain constructive criticism that ultimately enhances the overall quality of your novel.

Take a break from your novel and come back to it later.

Sometimes, distance is necessary to gain clarity. After completing your manuscript, set it aside for a while and engage in other activities. This break will allow you to approach your work with a fresh perspective when you return to it. Consider taking note of areas that stand out to you upon revisiting, as this may serve as an indicator of any remaining improvements or necessary edits.

Reasons Your WIP Might Be Lacking The ✨Spark✨

The plot is not clear or engaging.

The reader should be able to follow the plot easily and be invested in the outcome.

If the plot is confusing or boring, the reader will likely lose interest.

The characters are not well-developed.

The reader should be able to connect with the characters and understand their motivations.

If the characters are flat or one-dimensional, the reader will not care about what happens to them.

The setting is not well-described.

The reader should be able to picture the setting in their mind and feel like they are there.

If the setting is vague or poorly described, the reader will not be able to immerse themselves in the story.

The writing is not polished.

The prose should be clear, concise, and free of errors.

If the writing is clunky or full of errors, the reader will be distracted from the story.

The ending is not satisfying.

The ending should wrap up the plot in a satisfying way and leave the reader feeling fulfilled.

If the ending is rushed or unresolved, the reader will be left feeling unsatisfied.

How to Enhance the Appeal and Viability of Your Story Idea

In regards to your question, if i'm not mistakn i think you were saying you had a story idea and you couldn't quite polish it enough to fit it in your story but you feel as if you need to have it in your story

Consider the genre of your story. What kind of story are you trying to write? Once you know the genre, you can start to think about how your story idea fits within that genre. For example, if you're writing a mystery, you'll want to make sure your story idea has a strong sense of suspense and intrigue.

Think about the characters in your story. Who are the characters in your story? What are their motivations? What are their goals? Once you know your characters, you can start to think about how your story idea affects them. For example, if your story idea involves a character who is trying to solve a mystery, you'll want to make sure the mystery is something that the character is invested in solving.

Consider the setting of your story. Where does your story take place? What is the atmosphere of the setting? The setting can play a big role in creating the tone of your story. For example, if your story idea involves a character who is lost in a forest, you'll want to make sure the forest is described in a way that creates a sense of danger and suspense.

Think about the conflict in your story. What is the conflict in your story? What are the stakes? The conflict is what will keep your readers engaged. For example, if your story idea involves a character who is trying to save the world from an evil alien, you'll want to make sure the conflict is something that the reader can relate to and that the stakes are high.

Revise your story idea until it fits your story. Once you've considered all of these factors, you can start to revise your story idea until it fits your story perfectly. Don't be afraid to make changes and experiment until you find something that works.

Here are some additional tips:

Use strong verbs and adjectives. This will help to create a vivid picture in the reader's mind.

Be specific. Don't just say that your character is "lost." Say that they are "lost in a dark, stormy forest."

Use sensory details. This will help the reader to feel like they are there in the story.

Keep the reader guessing. Don't give away too much too soon.

End with a bang. The ending should leave the reader wanting more.

Conclusion

The question of when a novel is truly finished does not have a definitive answer. Ultimately, it is up to the individual writer to decide when their work is ready to be shared with the world. By following these general guidelines, you can develop a better sense of whether your novel has reached a point of completion. Remember that it is acceptable to acknowledge imperfections and move on to your next project. Furthermore, even after publication, you may continue to refine and enhance your work. Embrace the ongoing progression of your novel, and always remain open to making changes as needed.

Additional Tips:

Don't be afraid to let go of your novel, even if you're not completely satisfied with it. Moving forward and exploring new ideas is a natural part of the writing process.

Keep in mind that your novel is a work in progress, even after its publication. Opportunities for improvement may arise, so be open to making changes and updates as necessary.

Advice:

If you're still not sure if your novel is finished, don't hesitate to reach out to other writers for advice.

There are many online forums and communities where you can get feedback on your work.

The most important thing is to find a community of writers who support you and who can help you to reach your full potential as a writer.

Copyright © 2023 by Ren T.

TheWriteAdviceForWriters 2023

[astoundingbeyondbelief]

Kaiju Week in Review (October 9-15, 2022)

Supreme shock sensation of our times: a Godzilla comic released on schedule! Godzilla: Monsters & Protectors - All Hail the King! #1 dropped on Wednesday. I'll confess I forgot about it for a couple of days; your priorities get scrambled when you're recovering from knee surgery. This is a direct sequel to last year's Monsters & Protectors; I don't recommend going in blind. Two big reasons to pick it up: Gabara's debut in American comics (in a dream, natch) and a professional Xilien troll who muses over which reaction .gif he should deploy. Yeah, me too.

Toho released a teaser and this very cool still for the upcoming short Fest Godzilla 3: Gigan's Attack, showing off the Showa Gigan replica suit Shinichi Wakasa built. It's strange to see it opposite FinalGoji (presumably the same stunt suit from last year's Godzilla vs. Hedorah short). I guess it's just his destiny to face Godzilla suits that are barely holding themselves together.

I cannot hope to comprehensively cover the deluge of Godzilla merchandise forever threatening my bank account in this column, but I would like to spotlight this enamel Baragon pin, designed by Christian Gonzalez for Ghost X Ghost. When I saw it my hands simply moved to order of their own volition.

The Dino De Laurentiis King Kong films are getting format upgrades. StudioCanal has a 4K restoration of the 1976 remake slated for November 28, while Umbrella Entertainment is bringing King Kong Lives, long out of print in the States, to Blu-ray on January 18. Neither company is American, but 4Ks don't have region codes and I hear Umbrella Blu-rays are typically region-free.

Probably neither will be a buy for me. The color grading on the 4K King Kong doesn't look great, and the special features don't measure up to the Blu-ray Shout! released last year. I will grant that the King Kong Lives Blu looks like a winner, with great packaging and new special features including a Ray Morton audio commentary. (They had to be new; the old DVD didn't have a thing to mine.) But it's not exactly one of my favorites, and since Shout! recently picked up the rights to it, I'd rather hold out for a version I don't have to import.

Just over a year after it premiered at Fantastic Fest, Iké Boys is out on digital courtesy of (they just keep coming up) Shout! Factory. Hopefully a physical release will follow, because this heartfelt American tribute to tokusatsu doesn't deserve to be buried in the Google Play Store. Set in the last month of 1999, it concerns a pair of Oklahoma tokusatsu geeks and a Japanese exchange student trying to prevent the apocalypse, empowered by the obscure 1969 anime film that predicted it. It's very low-budget and hits a lot of predictable coming-of-age beats, but it's got a good heart and Yumiko Shaku (yes, Akane in Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla) classes it up. Also... it's not often I'm pandered to so directly. The director's one of us, to put it mildly.

Big thing are happening on the bootleg circuit... a couple of them last week, but I never posted about them on Tumblr and this is the first installment of this column. Yesterday, Skeweds Translations posted fansubs for What to Do with the Dead Kaiju?, Toei and Shochiku's kaiju comedy with no U.S. release outside of film festivals in sight. The film is catastrophically bad, I'm sorry to say, failing as a satire and as a genre exercise; Day of the Kaiju handled the same premise far better in a quarter of the time. But if you're so inclined, you can find a copy of the movie itself on the cat site... along with a higher-quality copy of Shin Ultraman than was uploaded there previously. I don't know where these things are coming from (Zarab?), but I'm not complaining.

And in the how-can-this-be-real category, a treat for your ears: the recently unearthed Hong Kong dub of Hanuman and the Seven Ultramen. As in Godzilla vs. Megalon, Ted Thomas, Chris Hilton, and Warren Rooke voice many of the characters. You won't believe the words coming out of their mouths—I don't think they did either. Between the child murder, checkmated atheist, and Hanuman's unquenchable thirst for carnage, this was always one of the kaiju movies with the most jaw drops per minute, and it just got better. A VHS containing the dub turned up in Lebanon; @Redcome40977685, @PrissMegaforce, Omayyad, and Elie Al Hajj got it digitized and @spacehunter-m synced the audio up to a fine-looking widescreen version.

[cowboyjen68]

Hello and happy Lesbian day!

I've just discovered your blog, and I'm so happy i did!

My country is Quite homophobic, so are my relatieves and even many of my peers. Sometimes i feel very lonely, especially considering that i've never met another lesbian in the wild (and i've been around for 20+ years!), not even to mention butches

However, you give me hope and the thought of growing up to be as inspirational (at least in the looks) for younger generations as you are warms my heart. Thank you for sharing your life and being who you are!

Even though being gnc and a lesbian can be hard sometimes, i am really happy with the way i am and i wish everyone felt that way about themselves too

I am glad you found me as well!!

The Western World makes in hard enough to be a lesbian, expecially a visible on, ie butch or gnc or a maculine woman. To exist in places where it is truly dangerous and punishment is doled out by both society and the government is almost beyond my comprehension since I have not experienced that to any degree.

I think often of my friends who exist in other counties like Iran, and how much effort they put into being as unnoticed as possible. I hope for them to someday to have a place where they can thrive and be surrounded by the support and love of other lesbian, bi women and even some family members who reject the teachings of their own culture when it comes to gay people.

Even in my part of the world, I pushed back hard against the idea that I was a lesbian or that my masculinity was permanent, an innate and intregal part of me. I tried to think of being "butch" as a passing phase, a lingering aspect of Tomboyhood that would fade as I matured. I questioned my interests, my actions, my clothing and my connection with other women. Was I broken? Was I supposed to be a boy and something got crossed or messed up? Why could i not just like what girls are supposed to like?

Then I listened to other girls, and women, and realized that many of them were playing a game. Pretending to love what our society said they were supposed to in order to garner the support and rewards that come with conforming. It just so happened that my very phyical presence was not ever going to fit in. It was not as simple as putting on a dress, because THAT made things even more obvious.

Once I learned the word butch and met lesbians of all ages who talked about how great it was to be one, to hear other women say they "look for the butch in the room as a safe person" I started to think of myself as unique but not "not like other girls".

I want to be that beacon in the world to others, expecially other lesbians and butches who don't see us in "the wild". Who otherwise feel isolated, alone and like a fringe element of society because they see no others who can relate to their experiences.

I often write with 14 year old me in mine. What did I need to see?? What truths about being a lesbian would have been benefitial for me to love who I am earlier?

I am doing my best and my promise is to be as honest and open as possible, even when things are hard to hear or not the anwer people want.

I am so glad you love and embrace yourself in a place where you have to be your own cheerleader, for now. I wish for you to find support from others in your life someday and I have every hope that it will happen.

(photo me in a dress, trying to NOT look butch---FAIL. And WHY did I think puffy shoulder were a good idea??) Circa 1984

[longhands-the-second]

Thoughts on volume 1 (disorganized and very sparse, I don’t have the brain capacity for meta this week)

Greetings everybody! I probably won’t be super insightful or anything but I’d really like to have conversations with people (can’t convert my irl friends no matter how hard I try). I’ve really enjoyed reading about people’s thoughts in the tags this week.

Thank god for the people at trigun overhaul they are saving my ass so much time and money right now. It’s really accessible and I appreciate it very much, that shit could NOT have been easy or quick.

I was really iffy on Nightow’s style for a long time, but it’s growing on me pretty quickly. There’s something about that 90s style of manga I was never quite sure about, but Vash’s babygirl eyes are winning me over.

Manga Vash just kind of feels different already? He’s still Vash obv but he feels more blue as opposed to maybe a warmer color. There’s a palpable melancholy about him and it’s making me feel weird. Kind of like I’m seeing the reality of his character and situation? (*I should mention that I’m basing my picture of him on all animated material + a decent amount of manga spoilers.) Maybe part of that is the kind of baby face he has here. He looks younger but seems older? His eyes feel different. It’s the lashes, probably. He looks like a wet cat in a lot of these drawings because of those eyes.

Odds are decent that I’m just weird emotionally right now lol. Probably good this is scheduled to be read slowly instead of all at once. Maybe this is just putting into perspective that his Antics are for his own sanity as much as his image. I, too, make jokes to ignore the Existential Dread. He is more often visibly upset without the theatrics.

WAHOO! (<- obligatory Dante comparison)

Gonna flat color some pages. I have to get it out of my system. It’s killing me they’re like coloring pages I MUST.

The Plants are good and proper fucked up here, aren’t they. I see why Trimax people make Vash an eldritch monstrosity. Very excited to see how much of that is based in canon. Also, wings! (I am going to be normal about this (<- lying)).

Not to homestuck post on the trigun blog but Vash and Knives are so hope/rage coded. Could make an argument for like 4 different classpects for both of them but I’m not that dedicated. This isn’t related to the specific thing we’re reading, it's just on the brain right now. It’s a fun way to think about how character philosophies/personalities interact with each other.

Volume 1 complete! I like Meryl a lot more here. 98 gave me the wrong impression, I think, so seeing this stuff in its original context makes more sense. More often I find myself thinking “oh, that’s more reasonable than I thought.”

Overall I'm enjoying the manga more than I enjoyed my 98 rewatch so far. Once we get into the Meat I’ll probably like it more than Stampede (idk we’ll find out). It’s generally pretty rare for me to like manga more on account of whatever flavor of neurodivergent I am making it fucking impossible to focus on reading long enough for it to not be word soup. Knowing as much as I do about the adaptations is definitely helping with the reading comprehension.

Anyway, I've started coloring a few pages and I might start doing at least one or two per volume if time permits. Got carried away with these ones though. I’ll post them to the tag later.

[hunterxhell]

i'm rereading dark continent arc to prepare myself for new chapters and I WANT TO SCREAM! i only reached ch 345 and why?! why is it so good? why the pacing, the questions, the mysteries, all of it just makes me go insane? Why is hxh so good????? Why it is so interesting????

YEAH!!!!!!!!! i can't yell enough about it!!!!

i'v been reading a lot of ongoing series lately, and some of them definitely seem to have been inspired by hxh but i usually find them lacking in some way. they don't scratch that same itch, even when they're attempting to do very similar things. i've been thinking a lot to myself about why that is so i guess i'll take this opportunity to blurt out some of my thoughts in some attempt to make them cohesive.

WORLDBUILDING!!!!!!!

the worldbuilding in hxh is so comprehensive. togashi doesn't just think "this sounds cool so i'll write it", you can tell when he gets an idea he considers what it means within the world of hxh.

i've read some series with lengthy, wordy worldbuilding. it gives you the impression the worldbuilding MUST be comprehensive, the author MUST have put a lot of thought into it, because there's just so many dang WORDS happening, but when you thinking a little bit more logically about certain elements, the whole thing just starts to fall apart. it feels deceptive and lazy to me when authors get really in the weeds on certain things that as a whole just don't make any sense in the story they're writing. i swear that sometimes authors will intentionally be as convoluted as possible, like a science study or a legal document, in the hopes that it dissuades you from picking it apart. togashi's worldbuilding feels genuine to me because i know he's not saying shit just to sound smart, he's telling you RELEVANT information that's NECESSARY for your reading experience, and it just so happens to also enrich your understanding of the world/characters.

2. CHARACTERS!!!!!!!

i've said this a billion times but i truly think togashi is a master at making likable characters. within just a few panels, a character you never thought you'd ever become invested in is now suddenly one of your favorites. characters aren't one dimensional -- some are presented that way at first, but it's all in order to make a humanizing moment they have later on all the more unexpected and endearing. a lot of characters also have an "outer personality" (how they present themselves) and an "inner personality" (how they actually are), which i guess is a bit like "gap moe" lol.

[piratefalls]

20 Questions for Fic Writers Game

i wasn't directly tagged but i have put off the open tag from @ejunkiet long enough and i'm also bored, so since i'm sure a ton of people have already done this i won't tag anyone, but if you do it i want to see it!

1 - How many works do you have on AO3?

an even 40.

2 - What's your total AO3 word count?

just shy of 170k, which absolutely blows my mind because it doesn't seem like that's possible.

3 - What fandoms do you write for?

previously hawaii five-0 and teen wolf, but i'm currently attempting to write for red, white and royal blue.

4 - What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

all are teen wolf except one, but in order: (Waiting) Until the Sky Falls Down on Me; Today and Every Day; I'm Gonna Give All My Secrets Away; Man, Interrupted; and it's my (pants) party and i'll cry if i want to. this gives a pretty comprehensive idea of what i'm about lol.

5 - Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i'm usually very good about it but they used to build up and i get anxious thinking about responding to all of them lol. but i love responding to them when i can!

6 - What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i don't really do angsty endings? i just went back and checked every ending and if it's not entirely happy it's at least hopeful lmao. i don't think it's in me to do angsty endings.

7 -What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i've got a lot of happy endings but i'm gonna have to go with The Comedy (Is That It's Serious) because that fic was really just me dealing with my mom having and then beating cancer and that kind of feels like the happiest ending.

8 - Do you get hate on fics?

i never gotten hate, but i did get someone telling me to make changes now that we knew what happened in canon (i speculated about sibling names) and it was just a weird thing to suggest.

9 - Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i have, but it's not my most favorite thing to do? i have to be in a very specific mood and it has to be necessary. i don't think i can write pwp lol. i don't think i've written smut that wasn't some form of connection/expression of love.

10 - Do you write crossovers?

i don't. i do enjoy a good crossover though!

11 - Have you ever had a fic stolen?

one was posted to goodreads during that whole fiasco and i had it taken down, but man did the comments on that hurt lol. i don't write because i think i'm particularly good at it, i do it for fun. so yeah that kind of sucked but occasionally i was like "yeah that's fair lol"

12 - Have you ever had a fic translated?

not to my knowledge, but i'd love it!

13 - Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i haven't! i'd love to someday. i think i do my best when i can collaborate/bounce ideas off someone.

14 - What's your all time favorite ship?

i mean in terms of bookmarks, 1000% sterek. firstprince is very much up there. kastle is my all time favorite het ship and i'll never forgive the fact that we didn't get them outright confessing their feelings. never. mcdanno is there too. (i made a lot of friends from the mcdanno fandom.) once upon a time i'd have said destiel but that fandom really tainted that for me.

15 - What's a WIP that you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

hahahahahaha i talk about this one on a semi-regular basis, but i have like 13k of a post-series Person of Interest fic that i'm probably never gonna finish but it's got some really good shit in it. i've thought about reworking it to make it an au for another fandom but it's so deeply reese and finch that i'd have to rewrite every piece of dialogue. and it would require people having seen the show because it won't make any damn sense without it. (i'd consider sharing it though.)

16 - What are your writing strengths?

introspection and character analysis, for sure. i love just kind of flaying a character open and digging into their thoughts and feelings and what motivates them. the most fun. also writing really off the wall shit. it hasn't failed me yet lol.

17 - What are your writing weaknesses?

any kind of worldbuilding. i also don't think i'm particularly good at smut but i'm also not using cringe euphemisms (the worst one i've ever read was "chocolate star" and i'll let you imagine what that was describing, if i have to know it so do you) so i'll say my smut is at least passable lol.

18 - Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i mean, it's fine? i don't really think about it much except when i have to go all the way down to the notes section to figure out what's being said and then jump back to where i left off. whatever happened to doing that thing where you hover over the phrase and the translation pops up above it?

19 - First fandom you wrote for?

first fandom i ever published for was teen wolf. first attempt at anything was criminal minds. it didn't go well.

20 - Favorite fic you've written?

so going back to 16, the things i had the most fun writing were, for introspection, definitely Written in the Scars on Our Hearts (about all the ways a person can be touched either physically or emotionally), and for off the wall, Got Your Body On My Mind (I Want It Bad) because that venn diagram joke is some of my best work. the comments section was so great lol.

[greypetrel]

omg, "no, i'm not going to give you a bite because i know you're not gonna like it. then you're going to ask me how the hell i like it, and i don't want to listen to that right now." for Aisling and Cullen?

Hello!

Thanks for asking and sorry if I’m late, my brain caught fire with the DadWolf AU… And even if this prompt is very fitting for them, I had a little difficulty contextualising it. So yeah, hope you’ll like what I came up with.

Putting an end on the “Cullen scolds Aisling because she Pocahontas her way down her horse”, and playing on the fact that the kindest people are the scariest thing ever when they get really angry.

(forgive the Italian title, the word means “Biting, cutting, piercing” said of words or satyre. And also comes from “Mordere” which means “To Bite”.)

Tis the prompt list.

(ask if you'd like some more, it's a fun list)

Mordente.

"No, I'm not going to give you a bite because I know you're not gonna like it. Then you're going to ask me how the hell I like it, and I don't want to listen to that right now."

The Inquisitor was notorious for being comprehensive and kind, always ready to treat everyone as a peer or give a hand whenever she could. She was well loved by the soldiers and the commoners, if not so much by the noblety. Nonetheless, she wasn’t foreign to rage.

Soldiers and guards that assisted in the infamous exchange between the Inquisitor and Madame de Fer still were overly cautious in never, ever pronouncing the word “pet” where Lavellan could hear, not to incur in her rage. She was cold and level-headed with prisoner that came for her judgement, but that time she had become angry for real and she had been absolutely terrifying. It had filled everyone with hope that Corypheus stood really little chances against her, but the hope was intertwined with the absolute dread of coming to the end of the large ocean of Lavellan’s patience.

Today, the shore was apparently reached, and each scout and guard on her path, who knew better, lowered their eyes and caught their breath as she not passed but marched up the stairs near the Herald’s Rest to the battlements, a deep furrow on her brow, the expression of an angry deer that’s lowering its head and stomping on the ground with its hoof, to charge at the unfortunate hunter who thought it was easy prey.

A path opened for her, automatically, as she grunted hellos and good afternoons without really looking at anyone, as if a storm cloud surrounded her where she went. She slammed the door of the tower she crossed, without really caring. A quartet of guards trailed at a safe distance behind her, as she passed and they were graced in not being the object of her fury, to whisper very quietly about the situation, pitying the unlucky recipient of the upcoming storm and wondering who they may be. Some Orlesian Comte? She turned down a proposal from Grand-Duke Gaspard, didn’t she? Madame de Fer again? Or maybe it was poor Jim? Yes, they convened, it must be Jim, he always manages to irritate the Commander, and him and the Inquisitor are together, aren’t they?

The four tiptoed forward, trying to look very unassuming and failing miserably as they exited from the door of the tower the Inquisitor just came out from, casting glances to her in a very awed curiosity. So concentrated they were, that they all jumped, scared when someone behind them asked.

“What’s going on, guys?”

The voice was too loud, and the four turned abruptly, shushing the newcomer with angry hisses. It was, of course, Jim, fresh as ever, his spear left abandoned against the wall.

“Shush! Can’t you see the Inquisitor is angr-”

“Wait, but if he is here…”

“Then who-”

The door of the Commander’s door slammed behind Lavellan, and as the five guards turned to look at is, puzzled and mouth opened in big Os. Rushing closer to the tower, they heard the yelling starting from the inside.

They got immediately back and started to theorise.

The Commander?

Skyhold buzzed with at least ten new rumours, that evening.

---

“Seriously, Cullen, you have to stop doing it!”

“I would if you showed some more respect and care for your own life!”

“It’s horse-riding, I’m not throwing myself at Corypheus in my underthings!”

“It’s not horse-riding, it’s playing acrobat on a galloping stallion with a notorious temper!”

“Little Brother is perfectly fine, he hasn’t bucked me off saddle once in months!”

“It proves my point! You’re being reckless, if you don’t care for your own well-being, someone will have to!”

Aisling was left without words, snorting in outrage as she took a step back and looked at him as if he just told her donkeys can fly without her and Dorian “helping” them and trying to make them levitate. Which they had actually tried the other week in a moment of boredom, with thankfully failing results.

“Why is everything a fucking game of chess with you?!” She asked, irated.

It was, indeed, extremely rare to see her angry or riled up. She hasn’t been with Mayor Dedrick, she hasn’t been with any of the people she judged, even if she confessed to him that she absolutely despised Florianne and it was clear as day that her opinion of Erimond was even worse. The anger at Gaspard had been not this deep, had not brought her to raise her voice. She ranted and tossed a pillow down a balcony, and she was good to go.  Cullen, in all honesty, couldn’t understand why this of all topics and behaviours pushed on her buttons so much. Taking care she was safe was his job, and she told him she loved him, so?

“It is because you’re not making any sense! Why being so angry at me just because I care about you?” He replied, a little calmer but still glaring at her. Just a little. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have work to do.”

He scoffed, almost fuming from his ears as he left an equally angry, for once, Aisling to stand in the middle of his office and marched to his desk, fumbling through his papers to look for the report he’s been working on. She would not have it, tho, and marched right on his heels, after a minute of staring at him silently.

“The fuck you are. We’re discussing and I am making sense. I know you love me and you worry about me and I’m really grateful for it, it makes me so happy. But fuck, Cullen, I’m not a child, I’m not made of glass, you have to fucking stop treating me like I am.”

She explained, slamming both hands on his desk as far as she could reach leaning over it, bending a little down to force him to look at her in the eyes, both palms blocking stacks of paper.

“I’m most evidently not treating you like a child, Aisling.”

“You are!” She remarked, voice raising again, groaning loudly.

She pushed herself back from the desk and started to pace, gesticulating wildly.

“Whenever I go to the stable and mount, there’s you, looming over me from the stairs and staring with that look. Don’t think I don’t notice! It’s the same look you have for unruly recruits!”

“That’s maybe because you are unruly! What was that, before, cartwheeling on the horse’s neck? Why would you think it’s useful to learn to do that??”

“Because-”

“-You could dodge more easily on horseback, yes, yes, you told me a thousand times!” He finished her sentence, voice raising too as he circled back around is desk and reached her, stopping her pacing by placing both hands on her shoulders. Maybe touching would have told her more than his tongue could. “You can cast barriers, Maker’s Breath! I saw you! Dancing the marigold on horseback is risky and reckless and you scare me shitless that you’re gonna fall badly one day and break your neck! And then what-”

“I know what I’m doing.” She argued, outraged, moving her hands up to bat his arms away from her and taking a step back. Spine straight, pride burning in her eyes. “I need guidance with politics and warfare because it’s all new, but on magic and riding I know what I’m doing, Cullen, believe it or not. I’ve been riding my whole life, I just follow methods and a technique that you’re not familiar with. But I am!”

She pointed out, flapping her arms on her sides. He tried to speak again, but she didn’t let him, speaking faster and louder until words died on his lips.

“No. You will let me finish. I know my shit, I am good at it, I am happy that you worry and care for me, really! I am and thank you for it, but this is getting ridiculous and I’m only doing worse because I’m stressed about you not trusting that I am competent and constantly watching me like… Like… Like a fucking vulture!”

They stood there, looking at each other for a minute, each glaring at the other, Commander and Inquisitor, each waiting for the other to say something, lower eyes, give up a tid-bit of space to the other. Unluckily, they were both stubborn people, and if there was one thing Aisling Lavellan did not do was stepping back when her pride was punctured enough for her to recognise some merit to herself, and not dismiss her ability as “I could be better” or “I’m just mimicking someone”. Cullen knew from experience. And he also knew that she was right, that she knew her own. He knew because he had spoken with Dennet about it, and the horsemaster had confirmed that all inexperience she had was dued of being used to hallas and not horses, but in his words: “She was born on a saddle, I’d bet my left toes on it.”.

And, if he had to admit it to himself, under worry and wounded pride of his own, she was beautiful like that. In full control, sure of herself, determination and pride shining in her green eyes. She was short -all good jockeys were, she would jest- and not imposing, but right now, as in every moment when she forgot her doubts and fears, she was huge and beautiful and a force to be reckoned with, and he couldn’t believe she chose him, of all people. Worry gnawed at his throat if he just imagined her again cartwheeling on the neck of her horse in a gallop, but…

“…A vulture?”

“Yes. Pale head, a big ruffle on their necks, body dark, glaring at people.”

He was still angry and didn’t want to laugh, but he couldn’t help snorting through his nose, stepping forward toward her. It was lunchtime anyway, they had time if the guards hadn’t heard them yelling and realised they were not to be disturbed. Hopefully, maybe someone would have informed Jim as well. He dared not hope so much, but…

“I do trust you.” He told her, very seriously and looking at her right in the eyes. “But I read your reports, and you have a tendency for putting in constant danger, and I’m worried sick about you, all the time.” He took another step towards her, entering into her space, a little too close for a professional relationship, but their relationship hasn’t been strictly professional for a while. “I haven’t wanted anything in so long, and I’m terrified of losing you.”

“You’re not losing me to a horse.” She replied. “That I can promise.”

The rest was left unsaid. They both knew her life was at stake, and she couldn’t exactly promise anything more than that. She had no certainty and had come close to death one too many times to fake it. Right now, tho, still firey from emotion and eyes shining in tears he knew would have come, she took the step that separated them and slipped her hands up to close around his face, bringing him down for a kiss as she stood on tiptoes. It was intense and urgent and full of that fire that still burned and made her raise her voice. She hummed, content, when he kissed her back with the same passion, and it was also her the one that prodded at him to deepen the kiss. Cullen didn’t realise until his back was against the wall that she’s been pushing him back. He huffed, surprised, and she broke the kiss to trail more on his nose, jaw and down his neck, a hand slipping down to push on his torso, pinning him in place, the other hugging his neck.

“You have me if you want me. But stop treating me like I’m a damsel in distress. I’m serious.” She whispered breathlessly against his neck, between kisses.

“I’m sorry.” He told her. He didn’t want to give in first or to give in at all, but it was hard to think with her pressing against him, mouthing at his neck that way, and taking control. Moreover, he knew better, outside fears and anxiety, than considering her as a person who needed protection or saving or deserved being locked up in a tower, as much as he wanted to keep her safe and unharmed from the whole world if needed. So, he gulped down his pride, and decided that his hands on her hips, squeezing, were compensation enough. There were far worse options to conclude an argument.

He maybe shouldn’t have found making out after yelling at each other and being the one to be lead into it so enticing as he did, but he did and his head felt deliciously light, he was sure his ears were cherry red. He hoped that it was lunchtime for real, and that no one would have barged in right now, because he frankly didn’t want her to stop, not that she seemed to be have any intention of doing it.

And suddenly, as he hugged her closer, slipped one hand on her backside and she hummed in pleasure, he felt not soft lips on his neck, but the bare glimpse of teeth, right on his pulse point. He snapped his eyes open, a shiver running down his spine and causing goosebumps. But as fleeting as the sensation was, so quick he had not the time to consider if he liked it or not, she hissed and pushed herself away, flushed but still frowning at him.

“No.” She declared.

“What?” He asked, puzzled.

“No, I'm not going to give you a bite, because I know you're not gonna like it.” She continued, in the same grumpy tone.

Cullen stared, mouth agape, struggling to follow her line of thought. They never discussed biting, sure, but he wasn’t aware he did anything to communicate he wasn’t liking it… Or did he? She hadn’t taken any step back from his embrace, tho.

“You’re not gonna like it.” She argued, not phased in the least by how he was staring at her with the lost expression of a fish caught on a hook. “And then you're going to ask me how the void I like it, and I don't want to listen to that right now.”

“You’re quarrelling because you don’t want to quarrel again?” He asked the clarification, and he knew it was out of the mood and pointless, but he had to. Sometimes he was starkly reminded that her brain ran even faster than her goddamn horse.

“Shut up.” She hissed, coming right back to where she was but two minutes before.

He did shut up, as he was told, for the rest of lunchbreak, and was too occupied in other more pleasurable things to notice that no guard or scout came knocking or entering in his office. It was no luck, really, but a quick round of voices saying the Inquisitor was telling the Commander off, and that most likely the preceding rumours about them were all wrong, as it was partially confirmed by the noticeable new absence of an angry Commander in the stables in the upcoming days.

“You know, Cullen.” Aisling told him, some days later when she noticed that scouts looked at her with fearful respect and there was no more snickering when they met together in public.

“Mh?”

“We should quarrel more often.”

“Should we.” He asked, not convinced.

“Yes. Privacy is nice. What could we quarrel about, tho?”

“I don’t know.” He chuckled, hugging her closer and pressing a kiss on the top of her head. “I’m sure you’ll find some argument with enough… Bite to it.”

She squatted at his chest, playfully, as she laughed.

[xehanortsreport]

Please tell me about the JUSTICE BROS au I am curious.

CRACKS KNUCKLES I'm so excited to talk about this I went and whipped out my good keyboard.

Alright so, firstly, this isn't comprehensive because I plan to expand upon the details in future artwork. Secondly, because it's been a few years, my DR lore knowledge may not be completely accurate on some of the timeline details. Please forgive me for this, and just take it as part of the AU haha.

The core of the JUSTICE BROS (tm) AU forms during DR:0, or its equivalent. I always found it very intriguing about how Ishimaru repeatedly and rather bluntly expresses that he expected to enter Hope's Peak with his classmates as his enemies; his hatred of the way the gifted are lifted up and excused his primary driving force. Naturally, while this is resolved in canon, I find it makes a very good base for a Mastermind AU, and also gently roasting the idea of Meritocracy as Ishimaru thinks of it.

Within this world, the very first Killing Game amongst the student council takes place, though without Junko as its catalyst. The primary perpetrator remains Izuru, and I think I may make it a ploy by Jin to test the talents of his beloved new Hope gone terribly wrong, for whatever reason. This part isn't very solidified lmao. Anyway, as Morals Committee president, I feel that Ishimaru would be well aware of the activities of his seniors in the Student Council, and most likely kept close contact with them. The tl;dr is that he figures out early on that something went terribly wrong, attempts to figure out what happened, and discovers the cover-up being run by the Steering Committee.

He enlists the help of Yasuke Matsuda to retrieve the memories from the comatose Student Council president under the nose of the wider faculty, and upon learning that Izuru Kamukura is even a thing, is horrified.

This acts as the tipping point for an Ishimaru who was already thoroughly put off by the very existence of the Reserve Course as being used as nothing but batteries for the Main Course - finding out that even the Main Course were naught but pawns to the faculty, too? Oh, that was simply too much. In this universe, it is Ishimaru who rallies the reserve course against the school, encapsulating the disgust against a system that openly abuses them for the sake of a privileged few. In true Danganronpa fashion, this manifests itself in a very devoted cult of personality, especially since Ishimaru's "campaign" for lack of a better word, promises one thing above all else: Justice.

No one is above punishment. Not the Main Course, not the Headmaster - no, not even the society that created such social division in the first place. The system itself must be wiped away and restarted from scratch, everyone judged for their sins equally, and only those willing to repent and work hard for a better world allowed to exist. After all, if even Hope's Peak, the ultimate symbol of hope for the world, is corrupt, there is nothing left than the most extreme of purges.

And so we enter DR1's Killing Game. Unlike Junko's game, Ishimaru's goal is not only to serve as a warning and an example, but also a legitimate courtroom and reformatory; offering his classmates the chance to be "redeemed" and escape death is his ultimate show of love, and is meant to inspire the greater populace. Those who do not submit to Justice will be destroyed without pity, but those who do will be welcomed with open arms! It is a fair system! And to show its fairness, not even his beloved friends are above his law!

Isn't it wonderful? Isn't it glorious? Isn't it fair, and just, and pure?

Anyway, mind wiping happens. Idk if he enlisted Matsuda's help in this or if he decided to grab someone else's assistance in this who has neurological abilities, but away the game goes. The motives and goals are simplified, mostly being variations on "here is a sin you committed; will you repent, or will you continue to sin to cover the truth? Will your classmates find what you've done so disgusting that they will take your fate into their hands? Either way, justice will be done." There is much more of an emphasis on group think in this one, straining bonds, and high emphasis on the prisoner's dilemma.

Vote to block your sin from being revealed to the audience (all of Japan) by choosing a sacrificial lamb. Or perhaps you might attempt to kill instead to buy the headmaster's silence? Unlike our DR, I think this AU might feign that anyone who murders is simply released, but in actuality they are executed in front of the live audience outside and the students are completely unaware of this fact until the end. Why murder? It's a DR, man. There's a hard time limit as well. The rest of the game has yet to be devised by me...apologies if it's hard to follow...

Anyway that's the basic outline! More information about our other major characters, like our protagonist Chihiro, our mole Mondo, and our sidekick/detective stand-in Ryoko, will be further revealed with art! I hope it's interesting!

[lloydfrontera]

Let's give another name for the game: "Webtoon pain" for easier access! So i suggest it goes like this;

-For all webtoon chapters, you may only state 3 points of pain for each chapter released, starting from chapter 1

-the scenes in the novel that will be correlated for points of pain for the webtoon must have happened in between the timeline of the events of the webtoon's chapter(if it was excluded or rewritten)

-scenes for each point of pain must invoke a feeling of pain for it to count by being excluded/rewritten in the webtoon

And finally,

-each webtoon panel drawing may count as a point of pain; limited to 2 images that was just not how it was pictured in the webtoon

Tldr and summary:

5 possible points of pain for each webtoon chapter; 3 scenes, 2 drawings/panels

This is for fun amdnnfnf no need to compile every possible points at once, we have a very very long road ahead! I do hope we get a lot of points, i missed drawing 😌😌

i am so sorry for the late reply! i was paralyzed by the realization that if i wanted to make a comprehensive of changes that have been made starting from chapter 1 i would have to re-read the entire novel and the webtoon and i simply do not have enough time in the day to do it :(

so! instead i offer a list of moments i remember from the top of my head in no particular order, i'm sorry please forgive me </3 i'll try to put the chapters they're from but i don't remember all of them sorry!

when lloyd asked permission to check out the wetlands, arcos not only agreed immediately but he also insisted on going with him and took a basket of food with them because he wanted to spent time with him. and he even brought lloyd's childhood favorite food 🥺 (43)

when working on the wetlands lloyd threatened to have anyone who went to the bathroom in there thrown in jail because hamang was going to drink that water and so help him god if they contaminated it (46)

there's this really one cute scene where lloyd is explaining something to arcos and he notices he seems a bit distracted and when he asks why arcos tells him "I just think I'm blessed to have as my son" which makes lloyd all flustered and embarrassed. plus in that very same chapter he calls him "my dear lloyd" and also thinks of him as 'my smart son' which,,, i'm so soft for,,, he adores him so much,,, (122)

and there's also this other really cute scene with marbella trying to feed lloyd a lot of food before asking him to take a break because they're both very worried for him. and lloyd agrees because, as i've mentioned before, he's a momma's boy <3 (156)

javier introducing himself to ppodong!! it was so fucking adorable he even shook fingers with his little paws T-T and also he calls him sir poddong but i don't remember if he also does that in the webtoon aklsdla (18)

lloyd telling javier his heart exploded from his compliment and calling him a killer. before thinking he's like a beautiful painting: elegant and perfect.,,, c'mon (18)

after the explosion in the mine with the ants, javier doesn't immediately get knocked out and is instead awake and aware when lloyd carries him on his back and they banter the whole time, neither of them saying it out loud but both being grateful they have each other for company while stuck there. (26)

PLUS that's the set up for lloyd riding javier during the monster invasion! javier did it first! he even made the same "gyddyap" joke!

oh! and when lloyd asked permission to work on the mine, arcos agreed with the only condition that lloyd wouldn't be in the mine during the construction because it was dangerous. lloyd didn't agree because he needed to be there to prevent accidents and so the workers would trust him but he did give his word that it'd be safe. (21)

also! marbella making lloyd a pink teddy bear for good luck! and lloyd actually keeping it because he didn't want to hurt his feelings! and also asking her to make one for javier to share his embarrassment happiness! (61)

speaking of! did we get the scene with marbella and ppodong?? where she asks him to ask the mice that are eating her plants to please stop? because that was also adorable (28)

the fact that javier fully believed for ten days that lloyd was playing a prank on him because there was no fucking way he was gonna make him fight a dragon. except he wasn't and he totally would. rip javier 😔✊🏽

can we count the change they made to their armor? like when they go to find the elven forest they wear this really cool leather armor that i love and that they completely skipped in the webtoon :(

when they finished paying the debt! lloyd and his family were going to take a family trip!! lloyd was looking forward to it!! actually we were robbed, i wanted to see the frontera family taking a family trip, it's such a cute idea T-T (120)

there's this nice conversation with javier and lloyd where javier tells him he's relieved loyd wasn't born in the capital because he would've become a terrible swindler. but that he's relieved and thankful that he put his tricks to good use. let them have sweet conversations goddammit, the banter is still funny!! (135)

oh! and the bet!! they made a bet where if lloyd was wrong he'd call javier hyung for three years but if he was right javier would use the dress and wig for the trip home. (167)

and of fucking course lady ella my beloved baby they did you wrong i will never stop mourning for you 💔 (167)

the fact we didn't even get javier in a hoodie is a fucking disgrace too ngl (169)

i'm sure there are way more but i don't have a lot of time today so! this is what we get for now! how many points did i get :D??? i didn't get the chance to collect panels from the webtoon tho :( i'll get to it once i have a free moment!!

god i love this game, each of this moments deserve their own post tbh </3

[pinheadsboyfriend]

a perverse enamourment [chapter 5] — pinhead / self insert [ao3 link]

Hovering between them trepidatiously, lives a want — and, perhaps to some extent, a need. This was new for them, still taking the time to excitedly discover the quiddities of each other's radiance. There was a sweet solace to be found in this sybaritic exchange; here, the desire to be seen, and to be understood is fulfilled. Vulnerable in the arms of someone just as mortal as you, you are finally known. And yet, despite appetites needing to be sated, Crawford presses a hand against Elliot's chest, forcing the both of them apart. 

Elliot's brow furrows in mild concern, worried that he had in some way overstepped, though Crawford spoke before he was able to voice any query.

"Are you a good man?"

The question posed seemed so out of place, it was almost disorienting. Elliot, hovering above Crawford on the mattress, cocks his head very slightly to the left in wordless puzzlement, the thick fog of prurience impairing his comprehension of language. It was hard to think clearly when he could still feel their breath on his face, their rapid pulse where his thumb was nestled under their jaw. They suddenly stiffen under his touch. 

"I —" Elliot begins, intent on asking for clarification.

"Are you a good man?" Emphatically repeated, with an intentionally subdued undertone of desperation. 

Crawford moves their hand situated on Elliot's waist to fiddle with one of the open buttons near the top of his dress shirt. He says nothing, in hopes that they would elaborate unprompted.

"I'm very tired, you know, Mister Spencer." 

A finger traces what was exposed of his collarbone endearingly, and trails lower to pet a recently discovered freckle near the pit of his neck. Elliot shifts uncomfortably, not sure what to do. 

"I enjoy you desperately, but this isn't a deception that I think I could handle. I need you to tell me that you are good. I need to hear it. If you are somehow secretly awful, then tell me now, because learning later will kill me."

Entirely uncertain of how to respond, words get caught in Elliot's throat. Their pleading gaze is hard to meet without the gnawing discomfort of guilt taking root in the pit of his stomach, and it's even harder to focus when they've taken to trailing shapes across what was exposed of his chest. The bothersome soreness in his arms from supporting his own weight was forgotten as he rifles through his flustered mind for a reply. He finally opens his mouth to say something, but it, slightly agape, is absent noise.

Crawford looks expectant, though not worried. Elliot, meanwhile, suppresses a budding annoyance. 

He'd known many good men. He'd seen the large part of them crumpled and lifeless on the battlefield. And what benefit did goodness bring them? Sitting limp in a ditch, face covered in mud - had they been the devil, nothing would have changed. Elliot could very well lie, say yes, and enjoy whatever intimacy ensued for what it was, but Crawford, here and now, is open and trusting, and for the first time in a long, long while, he's reluctant to let someone down. 

Perhaps Crawford could recognize the quiet turmoil he was enduring, as he was made to make eye contact with them once more, their fingers delicately repositioning his face, palm resting on his cheek. They were very warm.

"Not really," he says. "I don't think I could ever call myself a good man." And it's true; he wasn't even sure he was capable of being good at all. Here he is, having been liberated from hell, given the option to start from scratch, and yet the gun on his holster still receives ample use. Elliot tucks a strand of hair behind Crawford's ear. 

"But I'm putting in the work. And you're more than worth the effort."

Nothing fills the silence after the statement, and had Elliot not seen the gentle softening of Crawford's expression, he would have started buttoning up the rest of his top.

Crawford's head rises, slow it its ascent. Elliot can feel the hand on his face getting ever so firmer, and closes his eyes as lips press against his. The touch brings with it a sense of relief, and as the kiss deepens, the blissful fog returns once more.