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#hope y'all enjoy though!
wxnheart · 2 years
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𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐰𝐢𝐜𝐡, '𝐇𝐢𝐬 𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐁𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐇𝐞 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐅**𝐤' 𝐄𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧
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note: dedicated to the lovely @bitchysouljellyfish. I absolutely enjoy our conversations and it's thanks to you that I came up with this idea. also, dear viewers, this is more a König x Ghost scenario but you'll be watching from the sidelines... because Simon says so.
POV: You're watching two of the finest men you know about to fuck like wild animals...
It's official. You hate Ghost. You hate Ghost with the force of a thousand fucking suns. Fuck him.
And fuck König, too, for cosigning this bullshit. Fuck both of them. You hope the glare you shot Simon got your point across.
Yeah, you hate them right now, but goddamn... they're fucking beautiful like this. And you can't do a damn thing about it.
It all started when Simon fucking snapped earlier. König got the best of him again and the bastard took it personally. Again. And in pure Ghost fashion, he shot the Austrian his signature glare and if you didn't know Simon well, you'd think he was trying to kill König ten times over with the way he was looking at him. But he wasn't. Not really. Not unless you count sex as murder.
Simon glared, body taut, and it was a mixture of frustration and pure unadulterated want. And poor König, looking startled, somewhat wary, and... oh—
Hard. They're both hard. Oh shit. When did that happen?
It was like a flash. They were staring each other down and next thing you know, Simon managed to tackle and pin König down on the floor. Oh shit. Bet y'all weren't expecting that.
Time to intervene—"Sit down." Huh? Say what now? "Simon—" "Sit. Down." You wanted to challenge him but... consequences, baby. And his voice sent shivers down your spine. So you sat. And you watched with rapt attention. And so was König, apparently. Huh. You thought he'd be more resistant to whatever was happening but he was just as interested in seeing this through as you were. Hell, you both wondered what the fuck Ghost was going to do next.
Well, you two didn't have to wonder long. Ghost practically ripped König's clothes off him he was so damn aroused. And oh, poor König, shocked and startled and hard and leaking... and, oh god. Fuck, Ghost...
His clothes came off just as quickly. And to hell with foreplay. Nah, it's all or nothing with this. No preparation, no fucking kisses, just the main course, a rush of adrenaline and pure and utter hate.
Goddamn, you remember the last time you and Simon hatefucked. Felt like you couldn't walk or see straight for the rest of the fucking day. Now it was König's turn. You squeezed your thighs together and bit your lip to suppress a moan of pleasure. Oh, you felt yourself getting hot. But Simon had you both fooled. No words. No indication. Just adrenaline and pure and utter hate. Shocking, wasn't it? The bastard just grabbed König's dick and made himself home on it. Slowly. Almost too fucking slow for your tastes. And König's. German curses under his breath, fingers twitching, and frustration emanating off of him in droves. And Simon's groan didn't make shit any better. ("F-Fucking hell...")
And what do you know? The motherfucker wouldn't even give König the satisfaction of touching him. Practically snarled the moment he tried to grab hold of his hips and pull him down even further. But fuck that noise. Simon didn't give a damn (well he did but that's not the point right now). Hope it felt so goddamn good he'd go insane. God, what was wrong with him? It hurt so damn much; his body was on fire but fuck if it didn't feel good, if his baby didn't feel good inside him. Fucking bastard.
It wasn't long (it felt like it though) before König was completely sheathed in Simon and it felt like you three were falling apart at the seams. Yeah, shit like this couldn't wait. Simon grabbed the taller man by his chin and made him look ("Look at me."), made him watch as—oh fuck, the way he moaned, the way he started to move, to make his taller lover fucking groan and come undone. And fuck you, König. He'd show you he could beat you where it counts. He'd show you who bested who in the end.
König couldn't complain, his breath was too busy being taken away, and hell, you weren't that far behind, watching the scene unfold before you, knowing that Simon would and could make this last as long or as short as he wanted to.
So yeah, fuck you Ghost, and fuck you, König for making this shit so. fucking. beautiful. Goddamn...
You opened your thighs. Your hand traveled lower and it wasn't long before your moans joined theirs.
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14dayswithyou · 2 months
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💖 EVEN MORE DAY 4 SNEAK PEEKS! 💖
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stranded-ziggy · 1 year
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Alex || Red, White and Royal Blue
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montrealmadison · 1 year
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pimms + noah kahan, stick season
as you promised me that i was more than all the miles combined you must have had yourself a change of heart like halfway through the drive 'cause your voice trailed off exactly as you passed my exit sign kept on driving straight and left our future to the right
for @ohyoufool <3
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henwilsonmd · 1 year
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post 6x18: some out-of-order vignettes | ao3
4251 words
“Buck,” said Eddie, trying to school his face into something less fond and amused. “That’s my couch.”
Buck turned from where he’d been happily showing off the new piece of furniture he’d gotten with Natalia the day prior. “What?”
“The couch,” Eddie repeated, with a quirk of his eyebrow. “You bought my exact couch.”
“No,” Buck replied with a shake of his head. “No, it’s definitely different.”
read on ao3
Eddie looked at it—a three-seater in dark blue, velvet-y fabric with square corners and deep seats to accommodate his long legs. They’d picked out some nice white decorative pillows for it, and it’s certainly brand-new looking, but—
“It’s totally the same.” Eddie gave up on hiding his smile.
Buck looked back to the couch, tilting his head to scrutinize it. After a moment, he sighed, planting his hands on his hips. “Ah, fuck. It’s totally the same.”
Eddie groaned, letting his head thump back onto the edge of the cot behind him. “The pain meds are definitely kicking in.”
“Well, good,” snarked Buck from a chair next to him, attention half-focused on his phone in his hands. “That’s what they’re supposed to do.”
Eddie sighed, long-suffering. “You too?”
“Yes, Eddie, me too.” Buck replied, thumbs flying as he tapped out something on the screen in his hands. Probably to Maddie. Probably about Chim. Who was probably okay. “Your ribs are fucking broken.”
“Yeah,” Eddie said, staring at the ceiling. “And I know what they feel like. I’m fine, there was—other stuff going on.” He thought about that paramedic from the 133 shining a penlight into Hen’s eyes, frowning like he didn’t like the results and going back in to do it again. He thought about the constant jitter of Buck’s leg next to him, the constant worry for Bobby and Chimney who’d taken the other two ambulances before the three of them had managed to squeeze into another cab. “Besides,” Eddie pulled himself back on track. “Did you even get checked out?” He leveled Buck with a look that he hoped had more energy behind it than he had left.
Buck shrugged, powering off his phone with a click. “I’m fine.”
“There’s blood all over your face,” Eddie pointed out.
“Hen cleaned most of it up already.”
“There was more?”
“That’s—Eddie, I’m fine,” Buck said, turning towards him. “I scraped up my cheek and bit my tongue when I fell, and, sure, I’ll be a little bruised, but I’m fine.”
“You lost consciousness,” Eddie pointed out, and he swallowed around a dry throat.
“How… how did you know that?” Buck stuttered in reply.
Eddie gave his own shrug, picking at the edge of the right kneepad on his turnout pants. “I didn’t pass out. I radioed right after I’d gotten my bearings, but no one answered. Then, like, thirty seconds later you must have woken up.”
Buck, for a moment, held Eddie’s gaze with something so unbelievably devastated, and guilty—like the thought of not being able to answer Eddie’s call was the worst possible thing that had happened that day. Then he flicked his eyes down to the floor. “Okay, s-so, like, thirty seconds. I’m fine, Eddie. Really.”
Eddie frowned, thinking about those thirty seconds—an unbearable weight on his back, a growing pain in his chest, and the clawing panic as he listened to the silence stretching out on the other side of the radio and fought the mounting urge to plead, I’m still alive, please, I’m still alive down here.
And then how he’d breathed a hugely painful sigh of relief when Buck finally asked for a headcount, how he’d fumbled into his pocket for his St. Christopher medal and prayed—something he hadn’t done since that awful week of the coma. Prayed that he’d come home safe to his son, but also that Buck would be careful—that he wouldn’t do something stupid and destructive and reckless to save any of them.
That heady rush of gratitude when Buck had sawed the doors open, taking off his safety goggles and assessing Eddie’s situation with a calculating, heavy gaze.
Next to him, Buck cleared his throat, shifting in the chair. “Anyway, you broke three ribs, man. Let the meds do their job.”
Eddie huffed a laugh, leaning back into the pillows behind him. “Trust me, they are.”
Eddie sipped his Diet Coke, beer off-limits because he was still taking the Tylenol threes. “So, you finally got a new couch.”
“I had a couch before,” Buck pointed out, a matching soda in his hand for solidarity. “Kameron just—y’know, gave birth all over it.”
“Yeah,” Eddie said, snorting a soft laugh. “That must have been wild.”
Buck chuckled. “The baby didn’t want to wait, I guess.”
“Impatient little guy,” Eddie said. “Must be those Buckley genes.”
“Hey,” Buck protested, pointing a finger. “I can be plenty patient.”
“Sure,” Eddie agreed placatingly, but be noticed how there seemed to be something more behind the mirth in Buck’s eyes—the plastic pieces at the edges of his smile. He fought the urge to say I told you so—mostly because it would have been childish, but also because Buck hadn’t asked for his opinion at any step of the way, and Eddie hadn’t offered.
Eddie decided to wait him out—usually the best course of action when it came to Buck. Eddie understood intimately how much time it could take to parse through a mess of feelings in your brain and formulate them into words that would make sense to another person. Usually, Eddie would sit quietly and sip his beer while watching Buck’s feelings play out on his unguarded face, and after a minute or two Buck would haltingly begin to explain what had been going on with him.
Eddie had tried to explain that to Maddie when they’d both been nearly sick with worry over Buck’s post-coma mental state. “He’ll come to you when he’s ready,” Eddie had said over the phone. “You can’t force him to talk about it.”
“Eddie, you don’t know him like I do,” Maddie had protested. “He shouldn’t be alone right now.”
And Eddie had opened his mouth to say no, actually, I know him better than you, I know him better than anyone, but—that���s not true, is it? Why would Eddie know Buck better than his own sister, who’s spent the entire thirty years of his life caring for him, when Eddie’s only had him for—what, five years? Then subtract all the things they didn’t talk to each other about and all the issues they’ve had, and—yeah, who is Eddie to say what’s best for Buck?
And then Buck had knocked on his door and passed out on his couch and Eddie had felt righteously vindicated in a way that he almost wanted to rub in Maddie’s face, which was kind of bitchy of him to think.
So, Buck sipped his soda next to Eddie on his new couch, a storm of emotions clear on his face, and Eddie waited him out because that’s what he does.
Buck let out a sigh, and Eddie thought, here it is, he’ll let me in, and then— “Want to watch the Dodgers game?”
Eddie blinked. “Um, sure.”
And Buck turned on the TV.
Doubt roiled in Eddie’s gut.
“What about Hen?” Eddie asked, Buck’s hand tight on his arm as he helped him into the passenger seat of the Jeep.
“Karen already took her home, she’s fine,” Buck replied easily, before he shut the door and rounded the front of the car.
He’d left when Eddie had been taken back for x-rays, taking an Uber back to the station to pick up his car so he could come back to get Eddie and drive them both home. Eddie absently wondered when he would get a chance to get his truck from the station parking lot.
Buck hopped into the driver’s seat, fitting his keys in the ignition but pausing before turning the engine. He fixed Eddie with a gentle, reassuring look. “Seriously, man, everyone’s fine. Athena’s with Bobby, Maddie’s with Chim, let’s go home.”
Eddie swallowed, biting the inside of his cheek as he thought about just how close literally every single one of them except Ravi had come to something far more serious than some hospital bills and time off work.
His gaze slid to Buck, who flashed him that small, soft, close-mouthed smile that Eddie rarely saw—the one that made his chest feel warm and gooey.
“Okay. Let’s go home.”
The Dodgers were losing, and Buck wasn’t talking about it. Eddie tried not to either of those things get to him.
During a commercial break, Buck got up to throw their empty pizza boxes away, waving Eddie off as he moved to help.
When he came back into the living room, he paused under the overhang of the loft, just staring at Eddie.
“What?” he asked, a bit self-conscious.
Buck huffed a laugh, shaking his head. “I can’t believe I bought your couch.”
Eddie snorted. “Don’t worry about it, man. It’s flattering. You think I have good taste.”
Buck raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know if that’s it. Half the furniture in your house is from Target.”
Eddie sputtered. “I—what’s wrong with Target furniture?”
Buck, lowering himself back onto the cushions next to Eddie, raised his hands in a show of innocence. “Nothing, man. I just—I don’t know if I would call it good taste.”
Having no comeback, Eddie just whacked him in the shoulder.
Buck laughed, playfully pushing his hand away. “Hey, c’mon, don’t start shit when I can’t retaliate.”
Eddie smirked. “Why? ‘Cause you know you can’t take me?”
“No,” Buck denied. “’Cause your ribs are still fucking broken.”
Eddie rolled his eyes. “I’m fine, Buck.”
“Well.” Buck crossed his arms, turning back to the TV as the next inning started. “Forgive me for wanting to be careful.”
For a moment, Eddie considered saying hey, maybe we should talk about how I could’ve almost died again? But Buck clearly wasn’t in the mood to talk about the big things, and Eddie didn’t really want to think about that yet either, so he settled for bumping their shoulders together.
Buck leaned right back into him, and neither of them moved apart—the comforting warmth of the contact buzzing in Eddie’s brain like the alcohol he wasn’t drinking.
Eddie smiled down at his hands. “You like my couch,” he teased.
“Yeah, yeah,” Buck groused, slouching into the cushions as they watched a batter swing and miss yet again. “Don’t let it go to your head.”
“Are you sure you’re both alright?” Carla asked, a worried hand hovering over his elbow. “I caught some of the collapse on the news.”
Eddie flashed her a smile before turning to pour two glasses of water—one for him and one for Buck, who was off in Christopher’s room. “We’re okay,” he said. “A little banged up, but the doctors said I should be back to work in six weeks or less.”
Carla narrowed her eyes. “You better take that full six weeks.”
Eddie set the Brita down and met her gaze. “I’m fine, Carla. Really.”
She sighed, crossing her arms. “I just—I worry about you, Eddie. Okay? I know you’d rather I didn’t, but I can’t help it.”
Eddie ducked his head and smiled, a bit, filled with that familiar half-disbelief that people really do care about him. “I know it doesn’t look like it, but—I was lucky today. That nothing worse happened, that—that Buck was there to pull me out.”
Carla scoffed. “Of course he was. I don’t think luck had anything to do with that one.”
Eddie tried to fight the blush off his cheeks—he didn’t know what to do with that. Carla’s surety that Buck would save him come hell or high water. His own surety that Buck would be ripping open the doors of that camper van any second now.
When she realized he wasn’t going to say anything, Carla cleared her throat. “I should go. You up for a hug?”
“From you?” Eddie responded easily. “Always.”
Carla pulled him into a gentle-but-still-desperate embrace. “Okay, I’ll get out of your hair.” With a frown, she brought a hand up to ruffle the wilting mess on Eddie’s head. “Your dusty-ass hair. Take a shower, alright?”
Eddie laughed. “Alright, alright.”
“It’s a little early for a welcome back party, don’t you think?” Eddie said as Athena hugged him in greeting, Christopher heading off in search of the other kids.
“You and Bobby are headed back tomorrow,” Athena pointed out.
“Yeah, and Chimney’s not back for another two weeks.”
“And you best believe I’ll throw another party for him.”
Eddie laughed, before venturing further into the house to greet everyone else. His ribs had healed perfectly, barely a twinge when he’d thrown himself onto the couch in triumph yesterday. Which—speaking of, Eddie’s phone was burning a hole in his pocket and he was doing a very good job of ignoring that.
Or, he was, until a lull in conversation found him standing alone in the kitchen and pulling it out of his jeans. No texts. Which—of course, they’d agreed to go for coffee after his shift on Friday, why would she text him before that—but, still. Eddie was nervous. Sue him.
His thumbs hover over the keyboard for a moment while he debates if it’s too much of a desperate move to text Marisol before they even go on a date. Christopher would know.
“Who are you texting?” asked a voice, and Eddie fumbled to turn off his phone and shove it in his pocket before someone could see… what?
He looked up to see Buck smiling at his antics, a beer in hand.
“Oh, it’s you,” Eddie sighed, leaning against the counter.
Buck sidled over to join him, staring out the windows at the backyard where the party was in full swing. “Just me. Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”
“It’s fine,” Eddie replied, for some reason hoping desperately that Buck wouldn’t ask him about—
“So,” Buck nudged an elbow into his arm. “Who were you texting?”
—fuck. Eddie wasn’t sure why this felt like something he didn’t want to tell Buck, to whom he tells everything, but… they don’t really talk about their girlfriends? It was always, always awkward, and it always left him with a sour taste in his mouth.
But, Eddie’s excited about this. Marisol probably won’t be the one, or whatever, but—still. Eddie was excited that his brain was finally in a place where he could think about opening up his life to someone and it wouldn’t send him into a panic attack that landed him in the ER.
And Buck asked.
And Eddie’s not in the habit of saying no to him.
“Um,” he started. “Do you remember Marisol? From the—”
“—yeah, yeah!” Buck cut him off. “So, you were texting her?” He raised his eyebrows, a knowing glint in his gaze.
Eddie blushed. “Yeah, uh… we’re going on a date?” he said quietly, a pit of dread or something similar opening in his gut.
Buck was quiet for a moment, and Eddie risked a glance at his face. He just caught the edge of something shocked and maybe fearful in his expression before it cleared and was replaced by one of those huge, sunny smiles.
“Eddie!” Buck exclaimed. “That’s great! Oh my god, man, this is awesome,” he enthused, slinging an arm around Eddie’s shoulders and squeezing him close.
“Yeah,” Eddie chuckled, still unsure why part of him felt sick with guilt.
“Hey, ever notice how we always start dating at the same time?”
“No, do we?” Eddie lied, thinking about how he’d agonized over making the call and kept telling himself Buck’s with Natalia now, you should do this.
Buck laughed again, before he jolted with surprise and turned to Eddie, excitedly slapping him on the arm. “Dude! We can go on double dates now!”
Eddie frowned. “We didn’t last time.”
Buck shrugged. “Well, you didn’t like Taylor, so I figured—”
“I liked Taylor,” Eddie protested.
Buck snorted. “Uh, no, you didn’t.”
Eddie tilted his head in a you-got-me face. “I kind of didn’t. I thought you didn’t notice.”
Buck dropped his arm around Eddie’s shoulders again, making Eddie huff out a breath. “Oh, Edmundo, I always notice.”
No you don’t, Eddie thought, and then he ignored that.
“But,” Buck continued, a hesitation in his voice. “You—you like Natalia, right?”
Eddie didn’t really know her at all, except for how excited she’d been about Buck’s death-that-didn’t-stick and how angry that had made him. “Yeah,” Eddie lied again. “She’s good for you. And she has good taste in couches.”
Buck laughed, relieved. “Good. So—we’ll do a double date, yeah? Me, you, Natalia, Marisol.”
Fuck, no. Eddie thought. That sounds awful.
“Yeah, sure,” Eddie said instead. “That sounds great.”
Eddie was in the kitchen, pre-heating the oven to heat up some frozen chicken tenders because he didn’t have the energy to cook anything else when he felt little arms wrap gently around his midsection. It hurt his ribs, but Eddie didn’t have the heart to dislodge his son—not when these hugs were becoming rarer and rarer each day.
“Hey, kid,” Eddie said, turning in the hold and dropping a hand onto Christopher’s head. “What’s up?”
Eddie had already seen him, when he popped his head into Christopher’s room to find him sitting with Buck, a careful hand brushing the wounds on the man’s cheek. The sight had made something massive and unknowable bloom inside Eddie’s broken chest, threatening to choke him. He’d tamped it down and hugged Chris hello before heading off to shower, but apparently that hadn’t been enough.
Chris looked up, propping his chin on Eddie’s sternum. “I’m glad you’re okay,” he said, a tightness in his voice betraying him.
Eddie smiled. “Me too.” Even though it sparked the ache in his side into a bona-fide pain, Eddie leaned over to drop a kiss onto Christopher’s head—something he barely tolerates anymore. “Hey, the doctors said I’d be good as new in six weeks. Think you can deal with having me around all the time for that long?”
Chris laughed, bright and happy, and Eddie’s heart sang. “I’ll try,” he joked, and then something clouded passed over his face. “Buck’s okay, too, right? His face is bloody.”
“Oh, buddy,” Eddie sighed. Usually, he would kneel down to meet Christopher’s gaze, but he settled for easing himself into a chair and ignoring the concerned look Chris was giving him. “Buck’s totally fine, he just got scraped up a little bit. And today was pretty—pretty scary. For both of us.” He swallowed down the urge to berate himself for telling his kid he was scared, and it seemed to be the right move, because Chris nodded along with wide, careful eyes.
Eddie sighed again, settling his hands on his son’s shoulders. “But—tell you what. Buck’s gonna stay with us tonight, and he’s pretty bad at taking care of himself, right?” Chris giggled at that, and Eddie smiled in response. “So you and I are gonna have to be sneaky about taking care of him tonight, okay?”
Eddie expected Chris to give another sweet smile, and maybe to offer some comfort so earnest and childlike in its innocence that it made everything in the world feel right again, so he wasn’t quite sure to do when Chris burst out into loud, raucous laughter.
“Okay, what’s so funny?” he said, playing at being annoyed.
“It’s just,” Chris managed through his massive smile. “That’s exactly what Buck said. About you!”
Eddie just blinked in response, and Chris fell into peals of laughter again. “Okay,” Eddie said with mock-offense. “Okay, I see how it is. Gang up on the injured guy, why don’t you.”
“Da-ad,” Chris whined, fixing him with a very grown-up look. “We just care about you.”
Eddie pursed his lips, that unknown emotion threatening to drown him again. “Yeah,” he said, more choked-up than he would like. “I know.”
A small hand covered his, and Eddie flipped his own over to give it a squeeze. “Why don’t you go put on the next episode of María, okay? We’ll translate for Buck.”
Chris smirked. “You mean you’ll translate for Buck.”
“Hey, don’t sell yourself short, kid,” Eddie offered as Chris disappeared into the living room.
And later, when they were all piled on the couch, Christopher giggling at Eddie’s half-assed translations and Buck protesting that he understands more Spanish than you think, guys, the newest dose of pain meds forced upon him by Buck making his head more than a bit fuzzy, Eddie thought to himself: I wish it could be like this forever.
Buck shouted in exaggerated outrage to make Chris laugh, gesturing at some ridiculous plot point playing out on the screen, and Eddie let that huge wave of feeling bowl him over—that world-ending, all-consuming love.
Just this. Forever.
“Hold on, let me get this straight,” Hen said, a hand raised to keep Eddie quiet. “He has this whole thing about his girlfriends being couches, and the couch he finally bought is your couch?”
Feeling somehow embarrassed, Eddie just nodded. Hen shared a smirk with Chimney, sitting on the lawn chair that Maddie hadn’t let him move from for the entire party.
“That’s like—almost romantic,” Chimney snorted.
“What?” Eddie said.
“He’s been looking for the perfect couch, but it was yours all along!” Chim crowed, and Hen dissolved into giggles. She was definitely more than a little drunk.
“It’s so sweet, Eddie, come on,” she needled.
“Well, sure, but—” Eddie sputtered. “—romantic? Come on, guys.”
“No, you—you come on.” Hen said around a hiccup. “You guys are—Buck and Eddie! Eddie and Buck!”
“Yeah,” Eddie replied with a frown. “And you guys are Hen and Chim.”
“Nah, no, no, no,” Chim said with a wagging finger. “It’s not the same.”
“How is it not the same?” Eddie threw his hands in the air, one hampered by the half-full bottle in his hand. “You guys are partners, just like us.”
“Yeah, but,” Hen said. “You guys are partners,” she explained, trying for some hand gesture that must have gotten lost in the all the alcohol and rush of the party because she just ended up clasping her hands together awkwardly.
“You guys are crazy,” Eddie said with a long-suffering shake of his head.
“And you’re crazy about Buck,” Hen said in an it’s-so-obvious whisper.
Eddie drew back. “What?”
“Hen—” Chimney started, a hand on her arm.
She shook him off. “No, I gotta—Eddie, you and Buck are like, perfect for each other. You love him, right?” Her eyes were wide and earnest behind her glasses.
“Of course I do,” Eddie said automatically.
Hen gestured emphatically, whacking Chim on the shoulder like this proved her point.
“Hen,” Eddie said gently. “Did you forget that I’m straight?”
Hen scowled, like she did not want to be reminded of this fact. “Okay, but like—if Buck was a girl, you would have asked him out by now. You’d be like—fucking married by now.”
Eddie opened his mouth to respond, but found his mind stuck on Hen’s words. If Buck was a girl. Him and Buck, married. Eddie felt far drunker than he should be off just one and a half beers.
“Eddie, ignore her,” Chim cut in.
Hen frowned. “I’m going to find Karen,” she declared.
Eddie watched her retreating form, unsticking his tongue from the roof of his mouth. “He’s my best friend,” he said belatedly.
“Eddie.” Chimney kicked his leg. “Ignore her, okay? She’s drunk.”
“Yeah, but—” Eddie started.
“Look,” Chim sighed. “We joke about you and Buck sometimes, okay?”
“You do?” Eddie asked.
“Little stuff,” Chimney assured. “Just, like, you’re each other’s favorite person and you’re missing what’s right in front of you, or whatever.”
Eddie opened his mouth to respond, to refute—what?—but Chim continued.
“But they’re just jokes, okay? We know you’re both straight. I mean, it’d be great if you weren’t, or whatever, but that’s not the world we live in.”
Eddie’s jaw closed with a click. He sipped his beer.
“He’s your best friend.” Eddie looked back to Chimney. “And that’s—” He seemed to search Eddie’s face for a moment. “That’s enough, right?”
Eddie swallows. “Yeah. Why wouldn’t it be?”
“Exactly,” Chim agreed with an easy smile. “So, don’t worry about it, okay? She’s just drunk and forgot that we don’t make those jokes in front of you guys.”
Eddie nodded. “Right. Besides, Buck has a girlfriend, and—I have a date on Friday, so…”
“You have a date on Friday?” Chimney exclaimed. “That’s great!”
“Yeah,” Eddie agreed, voice flat.
Chimney clapped him on the forearm, unable to reach his shoulder from his sitting position. “Look, man, you’ll find that perfect girl-version of Buck out there, okay? I believe.”
Eddie chuckled. “Sure.”
He looked out to the party—his eyes immediately found Buck, head thrown back in laughter at something Athena had said. The string lights of the backyard made his styled curls shine with a honey-colored fire, his fingers curled carelessly around the neck of a beer bottle made Eddie’s mouth feel suddenly dry.
Just this. Just you, Eddie thought.
“You’re right,” he said to Chimney with a hollow smile. “I’ll find someone.”
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bittybeanie · 4 months
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oh boy! time to post a new fic! I can't believe it's been *checks calendar* ....oh. uh. oops. ignore that! it's the fourth and final installment of (this) aspec reigen series, complete with a lite™ version of a couple different kinks and finally getting to touch the peen! this one's real long, folks, clocking in at about 9,500 words, so you might wanna get a nice beverage and settle in.
content notes: thigh riding, themes of consent, drunk almost sex, a discussion about the drunk almost sex in the following scene, praise kink, a very loose (literally) definition of bondage, and so so many pet names. minors please don't interact!
also on ao3!
It takes more than a couple tries for you to get settled on the bed. You’re too close, then too far, and Reigen can’t get comfy, and your hand keeps sliding out from under you, and he can’t decide how he wants your leg angled, and there’s too many clothes, then all at once so few clothes that it feels like too much at once and you hastily agree to put your shirts back on, not wanting to break the already fragile layer of quiet hope.
Finally, finally, everything is perfect.
Awkward, stilted, and a little tense, and you’re not sure how long your leg will let you keep it just barely raised like this before it cramps up, but he’s here, embarrassed but steadfast, breath coming out in shivery gasps, hovering over your thigh, one hair fisted in the back of your hair. If he tips over, there’s no way you’re not going with.
Perfect.
His thighs shake as he holds himself up, deciding which direction he wants to move. You reach for the small of his back to steady him. "Does this count as keeping my hands out of the way?" He nods, so you test the waters by sliding your other hand up his thigh.
"As long you don’t- just no direct touching. Close to is fine, just not… well." He moves a hand back and forth across where he’s hovering over your thigh.
“Keep off the goods. Gotcha."
"The goods? Awful. You're awful, I swear."
You slide your hand up, just barely skimming your fingernails over his hip when you catch the hem of his shirt, and his cock twitches in his boxers.
"The goods don't seem to agree."
"Oi." Despite his protests, the laughter loosens him, and he relaxes enough to lean back into your knee. “Fine, fine, just stop saying goods.”
“Alright.” He raises an eyebrow. You lift both hands in surrender. “I promise! I will never again use ‘the goods’ to refer to your perfect, gorgeous, suckable-”
“I get it! I get it.” He grabs onto your shoulder - maybe in an effort to distract you, or maybe just to keep his balance - as he shifts closer. You can practically feel the heat radiating from his ears. “Here, actually, can you-? Hm.” He presses a hand against the inside of your other leg, thumb digging in as he gives a shove. He slides a knee into the newly free space between your legs, leaning forward to get a better angle. Your hands settle back on his waist.
“Better?”
“Much.” He lets out a little hum as he pushes his hips forward, and you have to stamp down a whimper at the feeling, his dick heavy and warm even through fabric.
“Didn’t mean to just push like that, though. Sorry.”
“S’okay. I’ll survive a little manhandling, as a treat.” You hit the last “t” sound with a click of your tongue, and he falls into your neck with a laugh. You trace patterns on his hips as he moves, tracking the motion as you press your fingers into his skin. “God, how do you get your hips to move that smooth? It’s sorta mesmerizing.”
“Hm? Oh, I don’t know, I’m just- I wasn’t thinking about it. S’just what f- ha, feels good.” His breath fans out across your collarbone, warm and fast.
“Yeah? You like using my thigh, baby? No thoughts other than what feels good? Your own personal toy to get yourself off against?”
“Oi.” His hips stutter once before he falls back into a slower rhythm. His fingers dig into your shoulder as he pulls you closer.
“Too much?”
“That’s not how I think of you.”
You can’t help but laugh, a light chuckle coming out in a breath against his hair. “I know, ‘Taka, I know.” You slide your hands under his shirt, over his stomach and up to his collarbone. “But would it really be so bad to belong to you?”
“I- fuck.” There’s a moment of worry when he shoves you away, but then he’s scrambling for the hem of his shirt and pulling.
“Are you sure?” It’s a formality, uttered even as you’re already reaching to help slide the fabric over his elbows, but it’s one you can’t even imagine going without.
“Very.” He lifts himself off of you to push his boxers down, shifting his weight from one leg to the other as he shimmies them all the way off. The mattress shifts and pitches him over, and you hurry to grab his arm.
He crawls back over to straddle your thigh, the tip of his cock tapping lightly against your side before he leans back onto his ankles.
“Do I need to get-?” You chuck his shirt into infinity and gesture vaguely to the bedside drawer. He’s technically never told you that he started keeping lube in there, but he hasn’t made much effort to keep the secret either.
He shakes his head. “I’m close. Won’t matter.”
He tries to go back to rutting against you, anchoring his hands on your waist to tilt his hips this way and that, but something about the new angle is off, and he can’t get any good contact.
“Oh no, now horrible, your dick is just so hard it won’t stay down on its own.”
He clicks his tongue at you as he scoots to sit closer, flush making its way from his ears to the edges of his cheeks.
“That gorgeous curve probably isn’t helping, either. In this case, anyway. Be an absolute treat to have inside me, though.” You press your thumbs in just above his knees, encouraging him to spread his legs more, and he jumps with a squeak, hands flying to grab yours. “Sorry, sorry, di-”
“No, it’s-” He pulls your hands together, just in front of his stomach, and the tip of his cock brushes against you. For a moment, you think he’s going to pull down, but he guides your hands back to his hips, pressing them into his skin as he rolls his hips. “Here.”
He gives up and puts his hand flat over his dick, pinning it down against your leg. He lifts himself to adjust the angle, just his tip dragging along your skin until he bumps into your hip, precum rolling out in a thin line over your thigh. When he pulls back, he grinds down insistently, coating his length and covering what isn’t already marked of your thigh so he can slide more easily. After a few impatient jolts of his hips, he settles back into a rhythm, smooth and fluid, and lets up on the pressure of his hand. He slings his other arm over your shoulder to pull you closer, and he falls forward to bury his face in your neck, whining into your collarbone.
He wasn’t lying when he said he was close, because it only takes a few drags of his cock against you for him to seize up, body tensing before going boneless, cum rolling over his hand and onto your hip as he slumps against you in a mess of pants and sighs. You slide your hands up his back to support his full weight, pressing kisses to his hair as he catches his breath.
“Just… gimme a second, I can cl- get you- god, my legs.” He rolls off of you with none of his usual grace, limbs falling everywhere at once, lightly smacking your arm as he goes limp.
You laugh and push his hair back from his face. You don’t bother to untangle your legs from his, accepting your fate of needing a shower later in exchange for getting to lean down to kiss his cheek.
“Eh, let it dry.”
“I’m starting to think you like it more than tolerate it.”
“If you haven’t gotten the hint by now that I want you to absolutely cov-”
He gives you a shove, rolling his hand so there’s no real force behind it, but you seize the chance to topple with a dramatic moan, one hand falling theatrically across your forehead as your eyes flutter closed. 
“Oh, stop it.” He crawls over and props himself up on his elbows. You can feel his breath fanning over your collarbone, stilted like he’s trying not to laugh. You crack one eye open, breaking into giggles when you see his forced serious expression, eyebrows pinched together and one cheek sucked into his mouth to keep the smile off his face. He breaks at your laughter, breathing out through his nose and pressing his forehead to yours. “I can’t take you anywhere.”
“Oh, you could take me anywhere, handsome.” You waggle your eyebrows suggestively, and he rolls onto his back with an exasperated groan. You laugh again and sit up, pulling a blanket over him so you can settle in without accidentally brushing somewhere he’d rather you didn’t.
“Hey, Arataka?”
“I love you, too.”
“That, too.” You chuckle. “But I have a real question this time.”
“Oh.” He turns his head. “Sure.”
“After you… when you took my hands earlier, were you…?” The fleeting moment of contact between him and your hands floats through your mind. You can’t help but wonder what he was thinking in the moment he hesitated, but it feels weirdly invasive to ask so bluntly. “Sorry, never mind, this is a weird line of thought.”
You lay down beside him, craning your neck to rest your head on his shoulder. His hand finds yours, lacing your fingers together as his thumb smooths up your wrist.
“Do you mean…” He takes a steadying breath, grip tightening almost imperceptibly. “Do you mean after the clothes came off?”
You nod. For a moment, he stills, not even breathing.
“I was… I wanted so badly to let you touch me. I thought if I didn’t have to say it, if I could just… imply, then I could get around it, but,” he sighs heavily, and he sounds tired when he continues, “I panicked.”
You’re both quiet, long enough that you startle even yourself when you finally break the silence.
“It’s not a bad idea.”
“...Panicking?”
“No, angel. Implying.” He presses his cheek to the top of your head. “Maybe you just have to imply for a little longer.”
“I’m not following.”
“What if you left your hand on top of mine? That way it’s like- it’s the same as when you do it, but it sort of, hm, bridges the gap? All the sexy, none of the surprise.”
For a long moment, you’re not sure if he’s quiet because he’s thinking or because he’s falling asleep.
He hums, shoulder rolling under your head, and he pulls you tighter against his side.
+
"Okay." You shift nervously, tucking your foot underneath yourself, then deciding against it and unfolding your legs. "Walk me through the zones again."
"I'm not a city planning map." He rolls his eyes, but he takes your hand. You’re not sure which one of you the gesture is supposed to comfort.
You shift back onto your knees.
"Here up, anything goes." He points at the middle of his chest. "But try to stay- so more like, well, from maybe..." He gestures to his collarbone and wags his finger up and down. "Here to here, really."
When he looks back at you, you can tell he's waiting for something. You settle for a small nod.
"Right. A-and then, here to here," he points from his chest to just above his hip, "Hands are fine. Doing... whatever." He steadies himself with another deep breath and rushes through the rest. "Legs, stay still, and anything... direct we'll do the- on the- yeah, got it, that's all."
You let him sit for a moment to make sure there's nothing he forgot. His grip on your hand tightens, and you swear he moves to pull you closer, but he must decide against it at the last second.
"Whose hand is going on top again? Sorry, we've swapped it so many times I can't remember if we decided."
"Oh. Right. Um." He hovers his right hand over his left, then swaps them, then swaps them again. “Yours under mine.”
“Got it.” You reach for him, letting him pull your hand up to his collar. "And you know you can tell me to stop at any time?"
"You tell me that every time."
"It's important every time."
He swallows thickly and traces a circle on the back of your hand with his thumb. "Yeah. I know."
You shift to pull your legs off to the side, then cross them again, then sit back up on your knees. Gently taking the collar of his shirt in your hands, you trail one thumb along the edge of the fabric until you reach the top button. "And can I do this, or would you like to?"
He nods before realizing there were two options in your question, then points at you, then at your hands, then flashes you a thumbs up. "Yeah. Go ahead."
"Well, now hold on, I have manners. I'm not going straight for the goods." He laughs and shimmies to sit up straighter, letting his legs straighten out in front of him. "How about the pants later?"
"Uh, right, that's, I didn't think about that. I mean it would make sense that you're going to be- I mean it's not like-"
"Arataka."
"Yeah." He swallows.
"I'm not going to be offended if you’d like to take off your own pants."
He pauses, staring down at his knee. Eventually, he shakes his head. "I want you to do it."
"And your-?"
"Just do it at the same time."
"Got it." You take a steadying breath of your own. "I won't stay there, but is it okay if I straddle you for a little bit? I wa-"
His hands are pulling at your waist before you can get your legs properly unfolded, and you almost tumble over him. He laughs an apology as you move on top of him, hovering over his legs to avoid making any real contact.
You brush his bangs back from his face, following through with the motion until your fingers tangle in the shorter strands of hair at the back of his head. He tilts to follow your hand, craning his neck to keep you from pulling.
"Ready?"
He nods slightly.
"I’d like a verbal yes for this one, lovely."
He swallows. You watch his Adam's apple bob.
"Yeah, yes.” He nods again. His hand jerks, taking yours with it, and he awkwardly lets your hand fall into his lap. You do your best not to move. “I trust you."
You drag your gaze back up to his face, searching for any last signs of reluctance. A bead of sweat trails down his temple, and you’re certain if you put your hand to his cheek you’d worry he had a fever. Sure enough, when you slide your fingers along his jaw, he’s hot to the touch, and the tips of his ears are turning brighter shades of red by the second.
He clears his throat, pushing his jaw into your palm. “Are you gonna-?”
“In a minute.” You swipe your thumb across his bottom lip. “I’m savoring.”
He scoffs at that, the same scoff he uses when he sees somebody do something stupid in public, and you take the opportunity to catch him by surprise, surging forward to push him down onto the bed. His hands go to your shoulders on instinct but he pulls them back almost immediately, hovering awkwardly in the space between you. Using your grip on his chin, you angle his head so you can lean down and kiss him without knocking your noses together.
Once you’re sure you can support yourself without falling on him, you allow your free hand to trail down, tracing down the muscles in his neck, across his collarbone and back, finally settling on the first button of his shirt. It takes a little effort to get it undone with just one hand, but you manage it, and you allow yourself to dip down as you settle into a rhythm, lips ghosting along Reigen’s skin as you uncover more of it.
He’s shivering, hand shaking where it hovers over yours on the last button of his shirt. When you slide your hand back up along his side, his hand falls back to the bed, pulling at a wrinkle in the sheets.
You kiss along his jaw, savoring the feeling every time his breath catches in his throat under your lips. Your hand trails down along his side, wrapping around him to hold his waist when he arches up into the press of your thumb. He hums, eyelids fluttering, and you dare to slide your hand down, ever so slightly, thumb brushing over his waistband and back onto bare skin.
He grabs for you, grasp tight around your wrist, almost painful before he slowly relaxes and drags your hand back up toward his chest. You push yourself off him, swinging your leg to kneel beside him.
“Here, let’s try this.” You guide him to sit up. Once he’s situated against the headboard, you settle in by his thigh, your knee pressing gently into his hip. One hand traces circles and patterns as you trail down to his stomach. “Still good?”
He hums, but he scrambles for your wrist again, holding on tighter and tighter the closer you get to the button on his pants.
“You’re allowed to change your mind, y’know. I can let you do it.”
“That’s not- mm.” He relaxes his death grip on your arm but keeps his thumb hooked around it. After a few tries to let go completely, his head tips forward into your shoulder. “I thought I would… I’m sorry.”
You shake your head and slowly pull away. “Nothing to apologize for.” You cup his face with both hands and gently turn him, but he doesn’t hold your gaze for long. 
“Do you want to keep going? Should I…?”
He opens his mouth, but says nothing. His expression is pinched, tight with something you’re not sure how to label. His fingers press together, thumb and index, thumb and middle, thumb and ring, thumb and pinky, over and over as you lean back, nodding softly.
“Stay in bed?” Your voice is shakier than you’d like. You swear he flinches, and you clear your throat. “Or move to the couch and watch something?”
“Couch.” He nods once, stiff and harsh, and swallows thickly. “Thanks.”
He presses a kiss to the corner of your mouth, and slides out of bed, starting to button his shirt back up as he wanders into the other room.
You keep nodding as if in a trance, and you follow him out. 
+
Despite the now faint memory of some friend of a friend forcefully inviting you, there's not a single soul at the party you recognize. With the exception of a few people dancing by the kitchen, closer to the speakers, everyone has settled for taking a seat and awkwardly bobbing their head. You’ve repeated the same three lines of small talk more times than you can count, it's just cold enough that you've had the chills the whole time while still managing to feel overwhelmingly stifled, and the music is so awful you wonder how somebody hasn’t tried to change it yet. But there's alcohol, the good stuff that somebody is clearly very particular about, and lots of it. You can't remember how much you've had, and that fact is enough to tell you it was probably too much, but it doesn't stop you from taking whatever the host is passing out when they wander through.
You think Reigen might be the only person doing worse than you. He looks... woozy. His face is flushed and his eyes are lidded like he might throw up, pass out, or both at any moment. At one point he took a tumble when he tried to sit down, graciously ignored by everyone else, and you had to throw your arm around his waist to keep him from sliding down the front of the couch again. He's leaning on you for support every time he moves, and if there were anything left in his can you’re sure he would be spilling it on you right now.
He's restless at the best of times, you know this, but even through the fog you can tell something is off. Not wrong exactly, but he keeps giving you this sideways glance, digging his fingers into your thigh to steady himself and then yanking his hand away, knocking his head into your shoulder and muttering something you haven't been able to make out.
He laughs - way too loudly at something you're not sure was supposed to be funny - and stands abruptly. Your hand around his waist falls limp on the couch, and he sways without the support.
"I'm going to the re- the ba- I gotta piss."
Nobody but you pays him any attention. He takes a wobbly step forward, knocking his foot into the leg of the coffee table, but he doesn't seem fazed. His knees bend at a weird angle as he shifts his weight from foot to foot, then he straightens back up and whirls around to face you. The momentum sends him tumbling back down, and you manage to catch him before his nose smashes into your jaw.
"I guess you better help me there."
"Yeah." Your voice crackles from dehydration. You have to clear your throat and try again to get a recognizable sound to come out. "Alright." You do a quick mental scan of your legs to make sure they'll support you before you motion for him to get up so you can stand. He does, grabbing your wrist and pulling with the conviction of somebody who does not need help walking.
The gears in your head start to turn.
He drags you along, glancing over his shoulder as he rounds the corner into the hallway, only stumbling once when he has to screech to a halt and back up to yank a door open. He pushes you inside, pulling the door closed behind him after he follows you in.
It's pitch black, and you're not sure if the overwhelming lemon smell is coming from Reigen or something in the room. You reach out to find him, but your fingers brush against something cold and smooth instead, and it's not until it tilts and hits you in the head that you realize it's probably a handle for something. Reigen's hand whacks into your arm and he holds on tight, fingers digging into your shoulder as he pulls you forward.
"I don't think that was the right door."
"Hm? Oh, sure." You can feel the air beside you moving until eventually his other hand finds your face, one finger dragging across your cheek until it hits your nose. "No, I- yeah, I know."
"Then wh-"
He pushes, hard and sudden. You fight to keep your balance as you adjust to the weird backwards lean you find yourself in. Reigen hisses as he pulls his fingers out from between you and the wall.
"Dumb, that was so dumb. Sorry." He fumbles for your waist to guide you backwards, and you feel his hips press against you when he reaches past your head to lean on the wall.
Everything clicks together all at once.
Your hands fly to where his waist should be. Once you find him, you're not sure if you want to shove him away or pull him in closer.
"You're super drunk. I don't know if-"
"Tha's the point." The hand on your face slides around until his thumb catches your bottom lip. He sways, like talking about it has made him remember how much he's had to drink. When he leans against you, he's heavier than normal, like he can’t support his weight anymore. "Liquid courage."
"I’m drunk." 
"Mm. Shit." He pulls away, just barely, and he nods. "Do you mind?"
Your mouth drops open uselessly. All your thoughts feel like static, indecipherable noise screaming for you to do something, if only you could figure out what. He's squirming now, like it hurts to stay still. You realize he's whimpering at the same time you realize he's grinding his hips against your leg.
“M’fine.”
He lets out a sigh of relief and drops his hands as he shuffles around. You take the chance to stand back up. When you finally bump into each other again, he wraps his arms around you and squeezes, his breathing coming out in pants against your chest.  He hooks one leg around yours, tapping his foot against your heel to bring your leg forward. You make a strangled humming sound when he grinds against your thigh.
"Hey, where's your hand?"
"My...?" You suddenly remember you have hands. You allow yourself a moment of silence for all the time you could have been holding onto him before you push one hand forward. It smacks into what you think is his stomach. "Sorry. Here."
"S'kay. Stay put." You keep your hand pressed against him as he leans backward. You're not sure when he stopped holding onto you, but one of his hands is suddenly over yours, and a loud zip cuts through the sound of you both breathing. He slides his hand down, dragging yours with it. Your fingers glide along his skin, smooth and soft, until you brush against a patch of hair.
A sobering panic cuts through you.
He must realize what he's doing at the same time you do, because you both freeze. His grip tightens. He guides your hand away from him slowly, stopping when he makes contact with your side.
"Stay... stay put."
He turns and scrambles for the door. Something falls beside you when he misses the doorknob, then you're squinting as light floods in from the hallway. You can make out the silhouette of him sprinting into the room diagonal from where you're standing, and then there's the unmistakable sound of vomiting.
Your place is only two blocks away - no more than a ten minute walk.
You call a cab service.
+
It smells like coffee.
When you try to sit up, the room spins. You end up in a sort of half sit, half lean as you grab onto the side of the mattress, willing everything to stay still. You take stock of the things that are clear enough to look at, slowly making sense of what happened once you got home.
You're laying on top of the covers, still in your clothes from last night. One shoe is in the doorway, and the other is nowhere in sight, probably somewhere closer to the entrance. The coffee smell, growing more enticing by the second, is a good sign Reigen's in the kitchen.
You slide onto the floor beside your bed, not trusting yourself to stand up without falling just yet, to rummage for more comfortable clothes. Once you manage to get changed, you stand up slowly, and make your way to the kitchen.
Reigen must have grabbed a set of pajamas at some point last night, though you can't remember when. His back is turned to you; he's lazily stirring something on the stove. Two steaming cups of coffee sit on the counter beside him. Before you can decide whether you want to say something and risk startling him, he seems to sense you standing there, and he turns around with a weak smile.
"Hey."
"Morning?" It's both a greeting and a question, because you have no idea what time it is.
"Yeah." He lets out a breathy chuckle. "How, um, how you feeling?"
Your head is throbbing so bad your teeth hurt, your legs and back are sore, and you have a looming sense of guilt.
"I think I should be asking you that."
"I'm fine, really." He clicks off the fire and reaches for a bowl. "I told you, I felt basically back to normal after I- well, um, you know. Thanks again, by the way, for car- for carrying me."
You nod softly, feeling a little useless as he hands you what looks and smells like a very delicious soup.
"Reigen, I am so-" "I didn't mean-"
He reaches for a second bowl. "You first." When you start to shake your head, he rolls his wrist in a "go on" motion. "Please. I'm not actually sure how to say mine yet."
"Right." You swallow thickly, fidgeting with your spoon. Deep in thought, you miss Reigen slipping past you. He clears his throat and gestures to the seat across from him. You slide into the chair. Your spoon clanks against the bowl as you set it down. "I, um. Shit, I'm so sorry."
He seems surprised, a spoonful of soup halfway to his lips.
"What for?"
"Wh-" You blink. "Every... thing? I- I know sorry doesn't even cover it, but I-"
"Whoa, hey, okay." He shakes his hand in front of him. "Never mind, I'll go first, because I think you got the wrong idea and I'm not gonna let you apologize for anything that happened."
"But you trusted me, and I-"
"And I still do. That's- that was the whole- look, I-" He sighs. His spoon clanks as he sets it down, abandoned in favor of wringing his hands together. "I set you up."
"You-?"
"I didn't mean to! I thought- It was stupid, and I should have just told you what I was trying to do, I know , but I- I wasn’t exactly thinking straight, and I thought if I could speed up the process, then- I mean, there's only so many times you can put up with almost getting to- if I could- ugh, sorry, hang on."
He pinches the bridge of his nose. You swear your headache is reacting sympathetically, because pain shoots between your temples, dull but persistent. He goes to retrieve the coffees from the kitchen, just cool enough to drink, and you down some as soon as he hands you a mug.
"You've been so patient, and I know you would never do anything I didn't want, but I... I keep overthinking it. And I thought it would be the perfect excuse to... to not have to think about it at all. I mean that's- that's just what people do at parties, right, and- I mean, it was... ugh." He sits back down, his posture unnaturally rigid. He chooses his next words carefully, pausing between words as if he’s testing out different sentences in his head. "I trusted you… to not take it further than I was comfortable with… more than I trusted myself to… not panic over nothing. So, I- I saw the chance and I..." He gestures weakly, hand falling back to the table with a soft thump.
"Liquid courage."
He takes a sip of his coffee and slumps forward, holding his chin with one hand.
"You... got drunk on purpose?"
"Not originally, but, uh."
You nod slowly. Your stomach grumbles, and you realize you haven't actually eaten any of your soup. You take a reluctant spoonful, chewing slowly as you take everything in.
"When you froze up, it- I realized how little I had thought it through. I- it wasn't fair to you. You didn't do anything to- I never should have put you in that position in the first place."
"I... would have appreciated a warning, yeah."
"Sorry." He runs his hand through his hair and leaves it against the back of his neck. "I'm really sorry."
"Apology accepted." Reigen relaxes into his chair. As he stretches his legs out, one of his feet bumps against your ankle, and you laugh softly. "I'm still sorry, too. I should have asked more questions. And I didn't... I think I noticed something was wrong but I didn’t realize it was that frustrating for you. Before, I mean. I never wanted to make you feel like you had to do something like that."
"It's exclusively a me problem, I promise. I thought something would have worked by now. I don't... I don't really know what’s getting in the way." He shakes his head, breathing out sharply through his nose.
“I mean, literally speaking, your hands.” You laugh and take another sip of your coffee. He tilts his head. “Because, you know, y-you always grab my hand before I-?” He stares, unblinking. “Sorry, too soon to joke, probably,” you mutter into your cup, taking another sip just to have something to do.
When he moves again, it’s with a jerky start, sitting up and leaning forward. “My hands.”
“Yeah, I-”
“No, my hands.” He throws his elbows onto the table. The bowls clatter and his coffee sloshes; his chair scrapes against the floor as he stands. His wrists come together in front of you, palms up and fingers curled loosely, as he stares, silent, waiting for a glimpse of recognition to cross your face. It takes a moment, but when he finds it, he grins. “My hands.”
“If you want to stop-”
“Saying so has always been enough.”
You stand, leaning to match his eye level. You consider him, searching for hesitation, but you find none.
You take his hand, and you start pulling.
+
“This is… mine?” An old black tie lays across Reigen’s palms, the ends hanging loosely over his thighs.
“Yeah, you left it here. A while ago, I guess.” You shrug. “You never really liked it, though, plus you’re here all the time anyway, so I didn’t get around to giving it back, and it’s just been here ever since.”
As you slide the drawer closed, he catches a glimpse of an old t-shirt he left on his first night in your place, folded neatly in the back corner, under a small collection of his dress socks. 
There are signs of him everywhere, really, if he looks. His toothbrush in your bathroom, a blanket he bought you for your birthday draped over the back of the couch, his favorite sweater of yours hanging on the handle of the closet, never out of service long enough to make it in with the rest of your clothes.
He’s struck with the realization it’s not just in your things, your home, but in you, the way you gesture with an extra dramatic flourish that wasn’t there before, the unwavering, tight smile that settles on your face when you talk to clients, the softness in your voice when you welcome the kids into the office, quietly clearing a table for them to do homework on, the flashes of movement in the kitchen as you dash back and forth whenever you make recipes he taught you - favorites from when things were harder and uncertain and cooking was his escape, before even the hardest parts of his life were laced with joy.
He’s wearing off on you.
He’s known it for a while, but he’s never put it all together like this, never seen it all so neatly represented in a single black tie, satin and unassuming and full of possibility. You kick your abandoned shoe out of the way, pushing the door shut with a soft click that startles him just enough to draw his attention.
“Still okay?”
He wonders how you’ve worn off on him, which parts of him weren’t there before that he doesn’t notice, can’t notice.
“Yeah.” He nods. “I’m ready.”
He smooths his thumb over the fabric, watching it wrinkle and crease where he applies pressure. It slides across his palms, dragging slowly as you wrap one end around your hand, until he’s left with empty air, hands outstretched between you.
He feels light.
You take his hands in yours, turning them in toward each other, and start to lay the tie across his wrists.
“Oh, wait!” You pull back right away, and he holds up one finger. “Not- we should take my shirt off first.”
“Jesus, you scared the shit out of me!” You laugh and settle back onto your knees. “Yes, okay, let’s- yeah.”
Reigen stops halfway up. The fabric stays bunched when he lets go, and he pulls your hands to the exposed patch of skin. He can feel the tie, still wrapped around your palm, pressing against his side, cold and smooth, and he swallows thickly. As you drag your hands up, it slides up with you, and a shiver wracks through him when you finally pull the shirt off his arms.
He cups your face, pulling you into a kiss, fingers coming to press at the back of your neck to keep you against him as he topples backward. You catch yourself on one hand, the end of the tie flipping to rest over his shoulder as you climb to straddle him. He’s insistent, both hands tangling in your hair, little sighs and puffs of breath against your mouth as he refuses to pull away for air.
You press a kiss to his cheek to soothe the loss when you lean back. He drapes his arms over your shoulders, locking his fingers together behind your head.
“We could stay like this? My hands are… close-ish together.”
“I can’t see behind me to tie it, but,” you pull his hands around your head, “I’m sure we can figure it out after that.”
He nods. You turn his hands back toward each other and his fingers curl, knuckles pressing together as he relaxes. You drape the tie around his wrists, trying a few different ways of looping it but not finding anything you’re satisfied with.
“Sorry. I just wanna make sure you can get out if you need.”
“It’s alright. I like the attention.”
You freeze, a wobbly grin taking shape as your face heats up.
“‘Taka, I’m supposed to be the composed one!”
“I’m just trying to be honest!” He flexes his wrists, pressing his knuckles together to crack them.
“Don’t worry,” you press both ends of the tie between his hands and motion for him to hold them still, “I like giving you attention.” You fold the middle of the tie over to make two loops and start twisting them in on themselves. “And I wanna hear about it as much as you can bear.”
“You seem plenty composed to me.” He pinches his thumb between two fingers and squeezes.
“Quick recovery. I learned from the best.” You wink and put your fingers through the loops. “Here, hands in here.”
He flattens his hands to squeeze them through, stopping to let you shimmy the tie the rest of the way over. You hold the ends of the tie and give a quick tug before tying them together.
“There, it’ll have to do.” You slip a finger in each loop, making sure there’s enough room to be comfortable without him being able to slip out without meaning to. “It’s a little loose, so don’t pull too hard, okay?”
“Sure.” He folds his elbows down, letting his hands come to rest on his chest. He jerks one hand up toward his hair, pulling his other hand with it, and the tie snaps taut. He has the courtesy to look sheepish. “I’ll try.”
You roll your eyes, smile still wide.
“Hands above your head, please.”
“Hm?”
“I’d like to get at your neck.” You press up on his elbows, and he unfolds his arms. “Those were in the way.”
“O-oh. Right.”
You lean down, tilting his chin up with one hand, and press a kiss to his throat, savoring the way it moves as he swallows. You trail down until you reach his stomach, dragging your tongue along his skin on the way back up. He exhales sharply, breath moving your hair as you get closer to his face. He forces out a laugh, and he rolls one shoulder.
You glance up. The tie is already starting to come loose, untwisting in the middle, but his hands are clasped together, the tie held in place between his wrists, fingers over the ends.
You kiss him, quick and breathless, and slip your fingers under his waistband. When his breath hitches, you smooth your thumb along the bone there, a reassurance you won’t move yet. You can feel him tense under you, pressing up into your touch, then slowly settling back onto the mattress.
You’re both reluctant to acknowledge the fact that you have to get off of him to take his pants off. You do your best to shimmy them under you, and he lifts his hips to help, but you need both hands to make sure his boxers stay on for now, and you want to make sure he can move his legs, so eventually, begrudgingly, you climb off him.
He takes the opportunity to stretch, his back arching off the bed as you throw his pants off somewhere to worry about later.
“Ooh, pretty. Think you can do that for me again?” You press a thumb to the inside of his thigh, at the edge of where his boxer leg has ridden up, and he jumps, hips rolling against your touch.
“Trickery.” He squirms, a whine that refuses to come out shining through in his voice. “Not fair.”
“Don’t worry, you’ll get plenty more chances.” You trail your fingers up his thigh, along the “v” of the bone, up his stomach. He shivers when you trail back down, your fingers catching on the waistband of his boxers to drag it over his skin before letting go, settling your hand lightly over the bulge in the fabric. It’s slightly damp against your skin, and Reigen chokes back a moan when you press down. 
You pull, grinding your palm down on his cock as the waistband moves until you can see the base of it, then you slide back up, tracing the outline of him with your fingers. When he whimpers, you’re too slow to hide your grin, and he glares halfheartedly.
“Having fun down there?”
“Oh, lots, thanks.” You slip your thumb below the elastic. “Seems like you are, too.”
“Hm.”
“Sorry, what was that?” You lift your hand with mock alarm, and he scrambles to reach for you, slowly lowering his arms to his chest when he sees your smile.
“Yes.”
“So, just to make sure, you are having fun?” It’s just as sarcastic as it is serious, and he seems to take it in equal measures, because he scoffs at the same time he nods. Both hands are on his hips now, both thumbs in his waistband, and you pull up gently to get him to lift his hips.
“Good boy.”
You’re not sure you would have felt it if you weren’t holding him, but he definitely shudders, trembling where your fingers press into his skin.
“Arataka.”
“Hmm?” He sounds breathless, and his chest heaves with effort, the rest of him as still as he can keep it.
“Should I keep calling you a good boy?”
“Um. If you want.” He jerks his hips up, and you take the hint to slide his boxers off, keeping an eye on his face as you do. You climb between his legs and lean over him, wrapping your hand slowly around his cock, firmly but gently, your thumb over the tip.
He squeaks, and he tenses, but he doesn’t reach for your hands.
“You’re doing so well, ‘Taka.” He swallows, and he shifts his hands, twisting the tie so he can lay his arms closer to his hair. “Such a good boy for me.” Precum oozes out of his slit, and you feel it roll down your hand.
“Mhm.” You lean back on your heels. “How about this? You tell me what feels good, and every time you do,” you pull your thumb down, spreading the precum along his length, “I’ll let you know just how much I appreciate it. Sound good?”
He nods, and you stop moving.
“Can I hear you say it?”
“Yes,” he breathes, pressing his wrists together, “yes, sounds good.”
“Good job.” When you lean to kiss him, grip tightening to keep his dick down against his stomach, his knuckles brush over your hair. “So perfect.”
You start slow, focusing more on touching every inch of him then keeping any sort of rhythm. When you trail up the vein on the underside, he shivers, and he gasps when you squeeze the base, and his hips jerk up when you pass over his slit, one leg coming up to press his ankle against your side. It’s not until you slip your other hand around him, though, arm passing through the space created by the bend of his knee to settle on his outer thigh, that he says anything.
“Fuck, that, more of that. P-please.”
“This hand?” You press your fingers into his thigh. He presses back.
“Yeah. I need… just, hold onto me.”
“Okay. Yeah, of course, sweetheart.” You scoot closer to wrap your hand tighter around his leg, spreading your legs to slip your knee underneath him. Once he relaxes, the full weight of his leg on yours, you press a kiss to his knee. “Good boy.”
“Shit,” he laughs, squirming closer to you. “S’not close enough.”
“Let me try something, then.” You slide backwards, reluctantly letting his leg fall to the bed, and you shimmy onto your stomach. When you pull his leg over your shoulder, he immediately hooks his ankle into your back and lets out a breathy moan. The pressure makes it a little harder to reach back around his thigh, but he relaxes into it easier, and the view is incredible. “There you go, perfect.”
You start up a little faster this time, twisting your wrist as you move up and down, and he bucks up into your hand. You risk a kiss to his thigh and his hands fly to your hair, the ends of the tie flowing down against your cheek.
“Sorry, too much?”
“Not enough.” His voice is scratchy now, and he gives a little tug once he gets a hold of you. “Can you, don’t put it- but, closer?”
“You want me here instead?” You press a kiss to the underside of his cock, flipping the loose ends of the tie out of the way to lay across his hip.
“Y-yes. Yes, fuck.”
“Gladly.” Between words, you pepper kisses along his shaft, following the trail of your hand up and down. “Thank you for letting me do this for you. You look so beautiful like this, feeling so good.”
He starts to make a noise of protest, but it quickly shifts into a stifled groan when you press a kiss to his tip, just barely letting your tongue drag across his slit as you pull away.
He whines and bucks his hips to follow you, and you can’t help but let an incredulous laugh slip out. “Alright, love, I’m gonna give you a choice, okay?”
He swallows thickly, then nods.
“Option one, you can tell me exactly how you want me to make you come. If you want my hand or my mouth or to go faster or slower or anything at all you just have to say the word. But I won’t do anything you don’t tell me, so you’ll have to say exactly what you want.”
His breathing is ragged, and he twitches in your grasp. “And option two?”
You grin and lean over him, propping yourself up on one hand. “I do whatever makes you the loudest, and if you stop making those pretty noises for me, I stop.” He seems to flinch at that, and you brush his hair back. “Just for a little while.”
He takes a shaky breath, eyes fluttering closed, and he pulls his arms in and down to drape one across his forehead. The tie was never really secure in the first place, but after quite a bit of pulling and flailing, it’s fully undone by now, nothing but luck and stubborn determination holding the loops in place around Reigen’s wrists.
“Both options, of course, come with all sorts of praise and admiration.” You slip a finger under the fabric and give a light tug. He lifts his hands to let the tie slide free.
When he opens his eyes, a shudder running down his spine, he sees you absent-mindedly tying the tie around your neck, uneven and loose, hanging down between you to brush against his stomach. He’s sure you just needed somewhere to put it, something to do with your hands, but it flips a strangely possessive switch somewhere inside him. Not because he’s seeing you in his clothes - he’s had the privilege of that many times before - but because you’ve taken the thing that was supposed to restrain his ability to fuck up the situation, taken something he left safe for you to keep track of without even realizing he’d done it, taken the symbol of his presence in your space and your time and your life, and you’ve put it on without a second thought. He thinks of his misguided reasoning that got you into this situation, that he trusts you with him more than he trusts himself, and he knows what he wants.
For once, words are failing him, which just makes the choice even easier.
“Second one.”
Your eyebrows raise a little, like you’re surprised at his answer, and he almost takes it all back, but then you’re grinning and leaning down to cup his jaw, kissing him like he’s giving you the only air you could ever breathe, and he moans into your mouth.
You lean away just enough to pull in a gasp of air, fingers sliding to tangle into the base of his hair.
“Just like that, gorgeous.”
He laughs, sucking in a shaky breath as you wrap your hand around him again. It pinches into a sort of strained whimper as he starts to quiet himself and thinks better of it, and you start moving.
“That’s it, good boy, just let me take care of everything.”
For all he got into his head before, breaking the seal of touching him seems to have removed any last bits of hesitation, because he relaxes into your touch almost immediately. Your experimenting earlier left you with a good idea of what will get the best noises out of him, and he doesn’t hold back. You’re silently thankful, not only because you get to hear him, but also because you’re not sure you could have followed through on your threat of stopping. And if he’s exaggerating for your sake, all clipped moans and raspy mumbling and bucking hips, well, you’re not going to complain.
After a particularly tight stroke up his cock and a brush of teeth up the inside of his thigh, he pulls one arm over his mouth, pushing it against his lips with his other hand. You’re still deciding if that counts as muffling his sounds enough to slow down when he bites his wrist and yelps, a loud, desperate, frantic noise that seizes what little of your attention isn’t already on him. His head tips back as he struggles to prop himself up on one elbow, hand flipping to clamp down over his mouth, and you can see the bite mark, lines pressed into the pale skin just below the jut of bone where palm meets wrist. It takes you a minute to realize he’s saying something, your brain struggling to piece his noises together into words.
“Can I have your hand?” You hum, scrambling to extract your hand from his leg. “I just- I need,” he opens and closes his hands, “something.” When you hold your hand up blindly toward him, he takes it quickly and holds on tight, fingers lacing together with yours. He gives a few tugs, and you hurry to sit up.
“Please, I need- I can’t take it anymore.” He looks frantic, eyebrows pinched together and his chest heaving with ragged, shaky breaths. His hips buck wildly, quick and shallow into your curled fingers. You realize you’ve forgotten to keep moving as you were watching him, and you quickly correct your mistake, reveling in the shiver that racks through him as your thumb swipes over his tip.
He’s begging now, your name falling out in pieces between gasps and cries; he’s still tugging at your hand like you can’t get close enough, pressing his lips to your jaw like he can’t quite remember how to leave kisses there. He pitches his hips up and presses against you, knees coming together to press into your sides, pinning your hand against your torso as he lets out a final shuddering whimper.
He comes across your fingers, his whole body tense as he holds himself up, back arched and head rolled to the side. He moves to wrap his arms around you, forgetting that his elbow is supporting him, and he pulls you down with him as he falls the short distance to the mattress.
You do your best to roll off him without letting go of him during the aftershocks, but you’re not exactly paying attention to where you’re still holding, and he yelps again from the overstimulation. You yank your hand away with half an apology, smoothing your hand up his side as you lift yourself up on your other arm.
“Nono, wait, don’t-” He scrambles to grab you wherever he can, and you intercept him before he can smack you across the face.
“It’s okay, ‘Taka, s’okay. I’m not going anywhere. I just didn’t wanna crush you. Let’s sit up so you can get some water, alright? All that noise can really make your throat sore, I know.” You slip your hands under him, one at the small of his back and one between his shoulders, gently lifting him toward the headboard. “That’s it. You’re okay. I gotcha.”
Once he’s upright, a glass of water in two shaky hands, you lean over the side of the bed to fumble for a washcloth. When he doesn’t slow down on his own, you start to reach for the glass, but he pulls away for a big gulp of air before you can.
“How you feelin’?”
He doesn’t answer right away, leaving you to fidget with the cloth, slowly reaching for his thigh. He lets his eyes slide closed as you start to wipe him off, smoothing an apologetic thumb over his hip when he hisses from the sensitivity. You wipe your hand on a mostly clean corner before you chuck it in the general direction of the hamper, silently relieved when it makes it in.
“I think I died.” His hands are still shaking as he goes to set the glass on your nightstand, and you gingerly take it from him, lifting yourself up to set it on the far corner where neither of you can accidentally knock it off later. “I understand you now.”
“You didn’t die, I promise.” You allow yourself a smirk and pull a blanket up from the end of the bed. “That’s high praise, though.”
“You’re high praise.”
“You’re the one that liked it so much.”
He rolls his eyes, too tired to argue. As you pull yourself up the bed to sit beside him, he leans over, one hand sliding behind you to rest on your hip. Now that he doesn’t have the distraction of everything else, you can tell he’s starting to think, because his ears are tinting pink and he’s fidgeting with a string on the edge of the blanket.
“Doesn’t mean I wasn’t happy to oblige.”
You scoop his hand into yours, leaving the blanket’s seams to live another day, and examine the bite mark on his wrist.
“I can’t believe I did that.” He scoffs, shaking his head a little as you turn his arm over. “The hell was I thinking?”
“Obviously you weren’t, which is both the point and very hot, so hush.” He turns away stubbornly, but he looks pleased. “You could probably say a spirit did it. Biting seems like an evil ghost thing to do, right?”
“With clearly human teeth?”
“Maybe it… stole them?”
He laughs, pulling away from your grip to get comfortable against your side. Just as you start to drift off, soothed by the sound of his breathing slowing and his weight settling on you as he relaxes, you feel his fingers walking down your hip, making their way to your thigh. You crack one eye open, and he looks away with obviously fake innocence.
“Where you going with that hand, darling?”
He smiles, bright and daring, as his fingers dig in. “Your turn?”
You consider it. You’re not quite capable of fully ignoring how turned on seeing him like this has made you. There’s a bit of nervous energy, buzzing over what’s left of your hangover, excitement, the joy that bubbles up in your chest at seeing him smiling at you like that, everything coming together in an overwhelming, swirling feeling of wanting whatever he will give you. But there’s something else, a calm undercurrent to it all, coating the emotion in quiet and directing it all back to a single point, solid and unwavering and right .
More than anything, you are content.
He sees your expression and laughs, must know what you’re going to say the moment you decide, because he mouths the words along with you as he pulls his hand back up to your hip.
“Maybe next time.”
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ultimaratiovaccinium · 5 months
Text
Obsession
I'm not a complicated woman, I swear.
I'm so boring.
I'm quiet. I live alone. I drink decaf. I file my taxes in January. I majored in art history.
I crochet, goddammit! I crochet cardigans, the most boring kind of sweater! And then I wear them! Like Mister Rogers, aka the plainest person to ever exist.
No one could possibly suspect how deeply weird I am.
I've been perfect. I've never left a browser history. I've never worn blue and red together. I've kept myself as trim as my mom's genes let me. No one's ever caught me watching the movie.
You know... the movie?
You know the movie.
Well, I mean, I guess it's "movies" now, but... I know which one left a violet stain on my soul.
You can't blame me.
Well... you certainly can't, anyway.
If you were me, maxed out on good karma, toeing every line you've ever met, perfectly alone in all the universe... what would you have done differently? What other choice was there?
Never mind how I got the chance. As soon as I found out about it, there was nothing else I could do. Everything I thought I knew about myself fell away. All the safe choices and good behavior just gone, poof, like they never existed. This is my fate, it was made for me.
I was always going to be the one chewing this stick of gum.
In the end, it was like they wanted me to find it.
Dodging through an unlocked door, stealing through low-lit corridors, drawn to it like the heartbeat of the universe.
It's so silly. I know it is. Some stray neutrino passed through my brain as a child, and I watched the wrong movie, and I twisted into whatever it is that I am. All I've wanted is to become something else, and that something is big, and round, and draped in the shreds of the last clothes she'll ever wear.
That last part is really important for reasons I just can't explain. All that matters is that I literally get too big for my britches. I just need to hear that little "pop". That's it.
I can never seem to imagine past that. Regardless, I'm putting the gum to my lips, completely, defiantly unaware of how this will end. It's on my tongue, and the flavor is unreal. I guess they didn't bother with the roast beef or anything. It's just violently fruity. Juicy, and warm, and way too sweet.
A door creaks open. I was so sure I wouldn't be found, but joke's on them. It's too late.
It's a mousy woman woman with huge glasses, wearing a lab coat. She peeks around the door before she enters, like she doesn't want to offend me.
"Oh-" she says.
"Um," I say around a mouthful of juice. "I-"
And then I think, hey, wait, I've made my choice. It doesn't matter how this ends! What's she going to do, save me? I'm in control here! Kind of!
"... um." I say again. Actually, it's hard to talk. I'm swallowing a lot of juice.
She steps all the way into the room.
"Uh, hi," she says, fiddling with her glasses. She looks at me, and then down at her clipboard, and then back to me. "Are you-"
"I'm not spitting it out," I say, before gulping down another burst of juice. I'm starting to feel kinda bloated.
"No, I mean. Um," she says, "sorry, I'm new here, um."
I'm tired of my mouth working so hard, so I make a show of swallowing the gum.
"Oh!" she says, "that was fast," and she makes some sort of mark on her clipboard.
What.
"Um, could you follow me this way, please?" she asks, gesturing toward another door I hadn't noticed. One of those big ones like they have on loading docks that roll upward.
"What?" I ask, reflexively.
She walks over and pushes a big red button on the wall. The door starts lifting.
"Oh, sorry, we can wait if you want," she says, "you'll fit, don't worry."
I start to have a thought, but then my stomach gurgles and I feel like I'm on an elevator going down. I clutch my sides and double over, but... it's getting hard to bend.
"Don't worry," she says again, "it just feels weird, but you'll be okay."
The thought comes back. Someone was expecting this. They're prepared for this.
I look back at the pedestal the gum was resting on. It's already been replaced with another piece.
The worst feeling in the world is thinking you're making a defiant last stand, only to find out that the hill you chose to die on was ready-made for your dramatic exit, and that you'll be asked to leave through the gift shop and pay way too much for the photos they take of you. You know, figuratively.
I have to do something they won't see coming.
I turn around and lunge for the new piece of gum. Or, at least, I try to lunge, but my thighs are filling up and it's getting difficult to move dramatically. Still, I grab it and cram it in my mouth. Might as well be a brat.
"Oh!" she chirps again, and makes another mark on her clipboard. "Wow! So-"
God, I'm feeling so full. I can feel every inch of my clothes pulling taut against my skin. I gave in to temptation and wore a blue top, blue jeans, and a red belt. I couldn't help myself. Now, that belt is starting to dig in, trying to squeeze me in half.
I swallow the new gum, too, and look down at myself. I'm getting pretty big, bulging out around the belt. My shirt is riding up, exposing my swelling blue belly to the cool air. Out of the corner of my eye, I see her make another mark.
I try to touch my growing midsection, but it's getting hard to move my arms. They're filling up too. I feel warm all over now.
"You're blowing up so fast!" she says.
She opens her mouth to say something else, and that's when my belt snaps apart. My equator surges outward, jiggling and sloshing from the violent release.
It feels so, so strange, becoming something completely alien to what you use to be.
That said, it also feels amazing. Swelling bigger and bigger with gushing blueberry juice, bursting out of- wait.
I'm still growing, but besides the belt, everything's still on.
I try to look down again, but all I can see is the blue horizon of my belly. I flap my hands in frustration.
The lady speaks up again. "Since you're likely unable to move by yourself now, may I have your permission to roll you?"
"Um," I say, trying to think. I'm freaking out a little right now. "Uh."
I need this. It's all I've ever really needed. I just need need need to blow up and burst out of my clothes, that's it, and who cares what happens to the blueberry that used to be me.
All I need is to burst one little button and I'm done. I'll have won. Good day, miss.
The problems is, I'm perfectly round now, and my jeans are so, so tight but haven't so much as snapped a stray thread.
"Miss?" she says, "may I roll you away?"
I try to think of something to say, just to stall for a little more time. I'm so close, so so close.
Instead, I break down.
"Please," I beg her, "I'm going to lose my mind if I can't pop this button."
"Hey-" she starts, but I'm in a full-on panic right now.
"I have to, I have to, I don't know if I'll ever get another chance to be a blueberry, and like what if you roll me away and I never get juiced and I'm just stuck like this forever which would be hot but still or like what if this is as big as I can get and it's just impossible like what the fuck who even makes clothes that fit spherical women I knew I should have worn the red ones-"
"-but-"
"And I know what you're thinking! She broke the rules, it doesn't matter what she wants, she's just a blueberry now, blueberries don't want things, they're not even people! She had her chance and she blew it except she couldn't even blow it-"
"Miss! Please," she snaps, and she walks over, reaches up, and pinches my lips closed.
We lock eyes, because where else can I look, and for a moment, I just cry silent blue tears down my puffy cheeks, pouting all the while.
Then she smiles, and says, "I'm a trained professional, Miss. I can help you with that." She lets go, brushes her frizzy hair out of her eyes, and disappears behind me.
I feel her warm little hands on either side of me, like she's trying to give me a weird hug. Then I feel her squeeze into me. It feels startling, she must be way stronger than she looks. The pressure builds more and more, and I can hear her making an adorable little straining noise.
Then, there's a pop, and immediately a sense of relief. I hear a little zipping noise as the fly on my jeans explodes open. I gasp at the sensation.
Finally.
I give a little shudder, releasing the tension I hadn't realized was building the whole time. How Freudian of me, I guess. The oral stage ain't got nothing on this.
"Now then," she says, appearing in front of me again, smiling wider, making yet another mark. "May I please roll you away, Miss?"
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Everyone Introduced in Dimension 20's Fantasy High: Junior Year episode 20 (finale)
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#dimension 20#dimension 20 spoilers#d20 introductions#fhjy#fantasy high junior year#d20 fhjy#WOW dang. what a season#i'm glad the episode didn't end on like. as bleak of a note as it could have for the ratgrinders#being literal teens that were taken advantage of by adults that groomed them and all#was honestly REALLY obsessed by the implications of like how kipperlily's shatterstar was willing and the rest of her friends' weren't.#like there are so many fucking ways that could be interpreted#was she the last to go? was she the first? did she KNOW? was she complicit in it? did she do it by her own hand? what HAPPENED there?#i'm so obsessed. like holy fuck#also this is something vague i was hoping for but like- in the combat when ally said they wanted to go for oisin after he died at first#i was thinking of something like. that they might revive the ratgrinders whose shatter stars already left to have them rejoin the fight#on THEIR side for the purposes of saving the others? but that didn't happen and went on otherwise#i can't. fucking believe. that we got fucking blimey'd AGAIN. fucking insane#and now K2 canonically exists in the real world#fig has an army of inevitable automatons hunting her. fabian has a literal unborn nemesis. adaine has a wizard mom to kill.#senior year problems..... honestly i feel like the high level play this season was really fun to watch#and i think i'd really enjoy seeing a senior year too#what a season. i was IMMENSELY enjoying it for the majority of it that like Starkly dropped around eps 18 and 19 that left a bad taste#but i don't know. i feel like the finale managed to salvage some of that good that i'd really enjoyed over the course of the season#what a ride though‚ I did enjoy it a lot#see y'all next season!!
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ni-kol-koru · 6 months
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Opposite Personalities + Opposite Aesthetics = Siblings
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This is how I see the Miyaji brothers 🧡🍍
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linrinkuarts · 2 years
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🍕💣❔
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wxnheart · 1 year
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𝐓𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐦𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐬 - 𝐌𝐚𝐠𝐧𝐮𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐝
a note from the OP.
Thrice-blessed. The red titan considered himself such. In his pursuit, he obtained knowledge. Through knowledge did he become wise, and through wisdom was he gifted power. Thrice-blessed. Unique among the cosmos, limitless in the Immaterium. Thrice-blessed.
"—And yet, not everything is attainable. Take care not to become lost in your quest and beholden to your thirst." Nonsense. He remembered well the words of a well-regarded scholar and still, the red titan persisted, the flames of knowledge fueled by hubris.
Magnus remembers vividly the moment he idly let his mind wander in search of knowledge, tempered by wisdom and shielded by power. He remembers vividly the moment he felt it, a spark different but alike all the same. A mind similar. Kindred spirits. He remembers it... because no sooner had he felt it, the spark vanished and Magnus was left reeling. And so were you.
That wasn't supposed to happen. You weren't supposed to do that. You weren't supposed to do any of this. And still, you persisted. For knowledge's sake. For wisdom's sake. For power. Your peers thought you were powerful enough. Your tutors cautioned you against your better wishes. What you had was good but it wasn't enough. And when you felt it, the yearning of your kindred spirit, you knew then that your journey was far from over. But you should've listened. Not all knowledge was worthy.
You remember vividly when you began to rue the day your "two minds, questing for knowledge" first met. It wasn't long before your curiosity led you astray and you poked at the giant yet again. It wasn't long before you were face to face with Prospero's greatest and oh, the promises he made, the knowledge that was at your fingertips—
Against his better judgment, Magnus found himself... taken by your passion. Your desire to push the boundaries. Mm. Not many on Prospero could say they carried the distinction of impressing him but you... What did you wish to know? What was your end goal? He knew not and it made him wish to delve deeper. And so he did. Through you.
An enigma riddled with mysteries hidden in ponderance. That's what you were. At least, that's what he thought you were. And what a fool Magnus is.
And you, knowledge at your fingertips, the memory of his radiant (albeit small) smile lingering in the recesses of your mind, gaze bright with mastery insanity, you thought yourself thrice-blessed. Knowledge became wisdom. Wisdom became power. Thrice-blessed. And oh, what a fool you were. What a fool you are. Not all smiles are beautiful. Not all knowledge begets power.
And what fools you both are. Magnus for his arrogance, and you for the audacity to think of yourself just as equal. It wasn't long before you find yourself wilting under his stoic gaze. It wasn't long before he began to push your boundaries and your mind, wandering idly, encountered horrors. Knowledge. For wisdom's sake. For power.
"Go beyond." Magnus would merely murmur encouragingly but his stare was too discerning, too penetrating. And you would, and he would watch, and you'd see horrors and realities beyond your comprehension. Knowledge. For wisdom's sake. For power. Thrice-blessed.
And still, he persisted, wanting to know your end goal. Wanting to know what you sought. An enigma riddled with mysteries hidden in ponderance. That's what you were. That's what he thought you were. And what a fool Magnus is. And it wasn't long before he became beholden to his thirst. And he pushed you to go beyond. For your sake. For his sake. In the pursuit of knowledge and wisdom.
"—And yet, not everything is attainable. Take care not to become lost in your quest and beholden to your thirst." Magnus told you once of a scholar's caution and you silently wished you heeded your tutors' words. The knowledge at your fingertips, decorating beautiful libraries, became your prison and Magnus your jailer.
And so you persisted, going beyond, seeing horrors and realities beyond your comprehension. Knowledge. For wisdom's sake. For power. Thrice-blessed.
And what fools you both were.
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hopesallwegotleft · 1 year
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House of Ashes Memes, 3rd edition
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saturfied · 4 months
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kudos to all kimchay writers!!! y'all are doing a great job🫡👏❤️
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crazywolf828 · 6 months
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Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: F/F
Fandom: RWBY
Relationship: Blake Belladonna/Yang Xiao Long
Characters: Blake Belladonna, Yang Xiao Long, Ozpin (RWBY), Adam Taurus (Mentioned)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Heaven, Heaven & Hell, Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Angel Yang Xiao Long, Angst, I fuck with Bible lore, Blake as Eve, Bumbleby Week (RWBY), Bumbleby Week 2024 (RWBY)
Summary:
Yang hadn't wanted this, hadn't wanted to fall, she just wanted to help. Somehow she made everything so much worse.
She'd never been like the rest of the angels, her ideas had always caused worry. Their job was to protect earth, protect this new life they'd all created together.
Keep it from being destroyed.
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Bumbleby Week Day 7: AU day
Shout out to the mods for putting together this year's bee week! Make sure to go check out @bumblebyweek-blog for more amazing art/fics!
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nightmun · 8 months
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I wanted to talk a bit more about my intern OC Handtern since I haven't really gone into them much since I made them a proper character, so I decided to make this post about them! It's pretty long and kinda consists of two separate parts due to this character technically having two designs (I was gonna do two posts instead of the one initially but decided against it since it is the same character and it would be better to have it all in once place) so if you want to read more it will be under the cut!
Handtern is a bit of a more out there take on the intern, going all in on the long arm idea. They pretty much just are a stretchy arm snake that originates from somewhere in the hospital (no one is really sure from where though). They don't really have a proper name so everyone just started calling them Handtern after a while. No one, including themselves, are quite sure where they came from or when they initially showed up, but ever since the implementation of the rhythm treatment program they have been working as an intern at Middlesea Hospital. They aren't able to do too much in terms of helping the patients directly due to the limitations of being literally just an arm, but they have an impeccable sense of rhythm and excel at pressing a button (I mean what better job for the literal doctor finger?).
Personality wise, Handtern is a super kind and friendly individual. They are really sweet at heart, but unfortunately that doesn't really translate too well when you're an ominous arm with no real good way of emoting. Because of this, as much as they want to befriend the patients, they tend to keep their distance form several of them, knowing that they make most people pretty uncomfortable.
The only people they interact with more regularly outside of working are the three kids and Cole and Nicole. Hailey, Logan and Lucia are the only people who go out of their way to include Handtern in anything. Maybe it's because they're younger, but they seem unbothered by Handtern's otherworldly appearance and will invite them to join in several activities, which Handtern much appreciates. Cole and Nicole are pretty laid back and tend to be less bothered by Handtern as well, so they will hang around the two of them on occasion. They have even gotten a few piano lessons from Cole after a rather abysmal performance on the cafe's piano, though Handtern doesn't typically hang around them too often since Cole and Nicole tend to have their own thing going on.
Everyone else in the hospital is either mildly uncomfortable with them to varying degrees but are too nice to say anything, or in the case of Richard specifically, openly rude and constantly expresses the strangeness of the intern being an ominous arm snake (as well as questioning their effectiveness at their job because of it). Handtern has learned to tolerate it, though, since they can't really blame people for being uneasy around them. Still, it can get to them sometimes, especially since they do really want to connect with people in a way they can't really accomplish as they are.
As is probably obvious, there are a lot of challenges that come with being literally just an arm, and by far the biggest one for Handtern is communication. Without a mouth, they can't just talk to people. Despite being a hand, they're not too well versed in sign language, and most of the patients don't really know it either anyways. Writing is an option, but their handwriting is absolutely terrible (try writing when your arm is a noodle) so it can be really hard to read. They can twist their form to spell letters, but that takes a lot of effort and can be really tiring, especially if they have a lot to say. So typically they rely on shaking their hand "yes" or "no" to respond to simple questions, or elaborate noodle arm charades if they want to get a more complicated point across. Another solution that they started using lately is the use of a button board, similar to the ones people will give to their dogs. While it isn't a perfect solution, it does allow them to communicate more than just "yes" and "no" without having to make people guess what they're saying.
So that's pretty much the basics of Handtern, so now on to the other version of them that exists:
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I originally wasn't gonna do more with Handtern than just having them as the long noodle arm, but after one of my friends asking what they'd look like as a human and a desire to have an intern that can emote a bit more than not at all I decided to give them person privileges. Idk if Haniel will be actually canon to their story or if they'll just remain a "what if?" type version of the character but regardless I wanna talk about them cause I have a LOT of art of them already that I want to post with actual context as to who the hell they are first.
So this is Haniel, the human form of Handtern. After a pretty bad encounter with Connectifia Abortus, something happened (still don't have this too fleshed out yet so if I figure it out at some point I'll edit this later) that led the virus to turn Handtern into a human (can the virus do this? Who cares it can make a dude's head fall off without killing him and causally delete an eighth of a person's heart so imma put that as the reason). After the change, they picked up the name Haniel in place of Handtern since the latter didn't really fit anymore.
Being turned human obviously comes with a bit of adjusting. Things that seem pretty simple like walking or drinking water are a pretty big challenge to them and take a while to get used to. Sleep is also something they're really not used to, and they end up being tired a lot because they keep forgetting that's something they need to do now. That and the stress of trying to keep up with the pace they were able to accomplish before despite their newer limitations leads to a lot of stress early on, and their first week of being a person in particular is pretty rough.
It's not all bad though. Now that Haniel can talk, they have a world of things to say. They have a tendency to drone on a lot, reveling in the fact they can finally say the things on their mind instead of fighting a war to get even the most simple points across. Food is also something they really enjoy, since without a mouth before all they could really do is smash their hand into stuff. They're particularly a fan of sweet things, though anything with even a sub par flavor is heaven to them. They also really enjoy just being something that doesn't creep people out. Now that they are a person, they can interact with others in a way they never could before, especially since most people aren't uncomfortable or outright scared of their presence anymore. They do still have a bit of self consciousness about socializing though, partially because they have so little knowledge of human social cues and behaviors (mainly cause they were a hand before but also because they haven't observed too many human social interactions outside of people being treated) and partially because they still have that feeling that everyone dislikes or is afraid of them from their time being the hand. Even with both the positives and negatives, though, they're still determined as ever to help people as best they can and they will always do it with a smile on their face.
So I hope those of you who did take the time to read this enjoyed learning a little more about my silly little goober of a character. They're a bit more odd than your typical intern but they still do their best to fit in with the hospital, and with how weird that place is anyways it really isn't too hard. You'll definitely see more art of them in the future though, both as the hand and as the person. Hope you all will enjoy seeing those and thanks for reading!
Also real quick at the end here's a little ref of the two designs so you can properly see them,,
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I'm so glad Colin is finally getting the love and appreciation he deserves from the Ted Lasso fandom, because let me tell you it was ROUGH being a Colin stan in s1 when he had like, a maximum of two lines per episode, and you had to search for any scene where he was on screen/in focus for more than 5 seconds. Literally any piece of character development we got for him was like a miracle and I would analyze it for /days/. Oh, and don't even get me STARTED on how few Colin-centric fics there were back then.
Basically I clocked this gay idiot within his first 3 seconds of screen time and decided that he was going to be the blorbo I projected onto nonstop despite him being a background character with very little established personality and even less fan content in the beginning. Honestly, iconic behavior on my part /j.
Overall I'm just really thrilled that my favorite character for 3 seasons now is finally getting his own full character arc, and is also being noticed and talked about by so many more people, it's really heartwarming and wonderful to see /gen.
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