#hope you enjoyed my little rant

[spectre-does-stuff]

Ok so I have a stardew valley hc and maybe it's a lil wild, a lil wonky, but hear me out:

Transmasc!Sebastian.

Maybe my genders a lil bent (it is) and I'm projecting, but here's my evidence:

-after unlocking the Ginger Island resort, the only bachelors who wear shirts to the beach are Shane and Sebastian. Shane's can be chalked up to a dislike of his body, but for seb... Every other bachelor his age (see: Sam; Alex), is shirtless. He might just be insecure buttt he might be hiding either a binder or top surgery scars.

-perceived/past feelings of rejection could lead to his unwillingness to spend time around friends/family. Any kind of rejection of identity can make me instantly wary of a person; perhaps in the past Abigail or Demetrius was rude/invalidating towards Seb's gender identity in the past, etc.

-during the summer, one of his dialogue options is "I definitely don't want to go swimming, if that's what you're going to ask. Oh, you just stopped to say hi? Sorry." As a transmasc person myself, an aversion to swimming is something I've learned. I'm afraid if bathing suits/skin tight clothing and probably would be even if wearing a binder. Especially if a person wasn't aware of my transness, I think I'd want them never to find out.

-However, once at 10 hearts after receiving the bouquet, "If you ever wanted to go swimming... I guess I'd do it." Is one of his dialogue options, implying that after all this time he trusts the player enough he's no longer scared of swimming around them, and/or that swimming is something he does only with trusted individuals.

-At Ginger Island, he may say, "I usually wear black, but in this heat..." Now of course this is probably meant to be a reference to his emo type style and aesthetic preferences, but a small tip for those who bind is to wear dark colors so there's no risk of their binder showing through sheer clothes, and so the edge of the strap should the binder be black will blend in.

-at 6+ hearts during fall he may say "Who does Demetrius think he is, telling me what to do? He's not even my real father.” perhaps in reference to an attempt at controlling his transition.

-After being married to the player for a minimum of two days, he may say “Living here with you is teaching me to come out of my shell a little bit. I think it's good for me.” This could mean that Sebastian just wanted, or that it's relaxing of him to have someone who never knew him when he was femme presenting. Everyone else in the town has known him his whole life, and there's a high likelyhood he'd be the only trans individual in the whole place. Additionally, George is canon confirmed homophobic (“How can two men get married? It's unnatural... Hmmph. I guess I'm just "old fashioned"...” if the player is male and married to alex). Townsfolk dont seem to have the highest option of Seb, as indicated by There's some weird people living in this town. ...like that guy Sebastian. Why does he wear black all the time? I don't get it.” (Alex).

-frogs. The obsession with frogs is just queerest, most LGBTQIA+ thing I've ever heard.

All in all, is a stretch to say Seb being trans is canon? Absolutely. But! The headcanon is canon conforming, and I will be keeping it.

EDIT: ANOTHER POINT!!

Seb is the shortest bachelor, at around 5'8. Of course, trans men can be tall and cis men can be short, but it's just another bit if evidence for my silly little hc

[loomingtwilight]

i love neuvifuri’s dynamic and relationship. like. imo they are the epitome of “we are inseparable, we are in love in every way, we are soulmates not by birth or due to fate binding us inexplicably but because we spent those 500 years being the one constant in each others lives and weve come to know each other the best, but we are simultaneously strangers. we never truly knew each other during all that time.“

and neuvillette knew for so long furina was keeping a secret from him and it pained him to force that secret into the light, but he knew he had to in order to save fontaine, and despite that he still wanted to do it as gently as possible. to make the trial the last resort if the travelers conversation didnt work. after the final events of the archon quest, he let furina go wherever she wished, he (if im remembering correctly) gave her a nice house and enough funds to do as she pleased and live comfortably. he used his new authority over hydro to give her a vision made specifically for her, the very first vision he has given out. he has made it as clear as day that she is welcome to talk to him, to ask to have tea, to ask him for whatever or simply just to talk.

neuvillette using those actions to say “i hope you let me know who you truly are, and allow me to stay in your life for as long as you wish, but i love you so i will not force you.”

[franklespine]

Saw a tiktok of that mitski song with the lyrics "if you need to be mean be mean to me, I can take it and put it inside of me" with sam as the mean one and dean being the one who can take it and put it inside. logging off. did you even watch the show. are you that psychologically damaged. i have had a long day and the algorithm shows me this. do you hate me god.

[theinheriteddutchess]

The Mike Newton is Hot au only 3 people talked about shitpost!!

Inspired by this.. even probably not what was desired.

@fuckmeyer and @bellasdumptruckass and @rose-lily-hale

You can absolutely ask me to take you out of this post! I will understand, but you would also let Mike down...so...

[spineless-lobster]

Egg and Soldiers: A musical analysis of Pat and the Captain

*long post warning*

Okay! So some of you may have noticed that I (along with a few others) use the alt ship name for patcap which is “Egg and Soldier” while also being a delicious breakfast, it mainly refers to the song “Egg and Soldiers” by Cosmo Sheldrake, which is what I originated it from. The song very much reminds me of their characters and I would like to share my analysis with all of you!

Before we begin, please note that this is *my* interpretation of the song. It’s not the artist’s interpretation and you are totally free to disagree with me or come to your own conclusions.

Also please bear with me if my thoughts don’t seem coherent lol

All lyrics will be italicized, and I’ve added the song just in case you wanna listen. Let’s begin! :)

I was looking over at my shoulder

Only thinking of the short term

But time was looking back at me

I interpret this first line through the Captain’s point of view. I imagine him looking over his shoulder (rather than at) as in looking back on his life. “Only thinking of the short term” may reference his connection to the war. He doesn’t acknowledge who he was before or after the war. He only focuses on what he was during that time, a soldier. “But time was looking back at me” can be a reflection of his insecurities regarding aging (see: “supple as the day I died” “I’m in my bally prime” him trying to beat his record of 2:30, and Ben calling him “the wrong side of 40” in the Inside Ghosts podcast) but I also see it as him reflecting on his regrets. (which I will get into later)

Every day I eat an egg and soldier

Then I sit a little longer

On a blanket made for three

This stanza is more about Pat. The first bit is honestly just about how much he loves eggs lol. But I connect the next two lines to Carol’s affair with Morris. The “blanket made for three” is about Morris’ involvement in the marriage. What’s supposed to be for Pat and Carol now has a third party, thus the blanket (the marriage) is made for three.

Swap cow for bean and grow a stalk

To tangle with the clouds

I like to think this refers to Pat’s ignorance to Carol’s affair. He’s up in the clouds, unaware of all that is happening right under his nose.

Plant poems in the barren ground

Honestly all I can think of when I hear this line is the Captain burying the letter. The ground being “barren” because really, no matter how hard he tries, his efforts to repress that part of himself are fruitless.

Blow doldrums round and round

Cut the brambles down

Search for heaven underground

It was lost but now it's found

“Doldrums” refers to a state of inactivity, stagnation, or depression. Kind of like the endless purgatory of being a ghost, huh? Said doldrums being blown around could connect to Alison coming into their (after)lives and spicing it up a bit.

The rest of this section I believe still refers to the Captain’s letter. “Search for heaven underground” once again represents him trying to find solace by burying his emotions and by literally burying the letter. “It was lost but now it’s found” could mean Mike accidentally uncovering and blowing up the bomb. But it could also represent his character growth. He’s slowly uncovering lost parts of himself that he has denied for his whole life. (See: “I’m…” in “Something To Share?”)

For we drank the ocean

I interpret this line as an alternative to the term “biting off more than you can chew”. The struggles in their life (repression, ignoring issues, etc.) all become too much, resulting in the inner conflicts both characters have.

We'll play while Venice drowns

Once again referring to Pat’s ignorance (willful or not) to Carol’s affair. His marriage was falling apart and he didn’t even know it.

Submarines won't save us now

The Captain using the war as a means of ignoring who he is as a person, along with burying any emotion that conveys vulnerability won’t exactly make his problems go away. (If anything, those ARE his problems)

We climbed a hill but then fell down x3

I think this refers to the tragic timing of their deaths. Pat had a wife, a child, his scouts, friends, anything an average family man had at the time. And it was all stripped away from him. The same thing goes for the Captain, he just came back from a victorious war, he was decorated with medals and most likely received a pension. He was promised a fresh start and he was just getting his normal life back before he died, unfortunately he’ll never get to live it.

(Chorus that I don’t need to go over again lol)

All hail Tom Thumb

The main theme in the story of Tom Thumb is that anyone can overcome hardships no matter who they are. I feel that this relates to all the ghosts. They all had their personal struggles in their life, yet they died before they could overcome them. Still, despite this, they all try to grow, change, develop and overcome challenges.

What's done is done

This line once again plays into the theme of regret. Pat will never be able to fix things with Carol. He can’t go back and catch the signs earlier, he can’t be more spontaneous for her, it’s over. The Captain will never see Havers again. He can’t tell him how he felt (or still feels), he can’t go back to being the man he was before the war, those things are all dead and gone and he can’t do anything about it.

You'll never find the answer 'til it's gone

This relates to regret for one final time, you don’t know what opportunities you have until they’re taken away. This could also possibly relate to the endless mystery of getting sucked off. The ghosts still don’t know what the after-afterlife is like, they don’t know what causes them to get sucked off (yes it involves character development, but the timing is still completely random), and I’m sure many of them are still questioning whether or not there’s a heaven or hell or if they just go *poof* into nothingness.

I hope this made some sense! An ask prompted this whole thing, and I have an explanation for almost every song on my Ghosts playlist, so don’t be afraid to ask questions!

Drink some water, take your meds, have a snack, bind safely, and have a lovely day! :)

[gingerteaonthetardis]

Book Peeta vs Movie Peeta.

What key point or best qualities of Peeta's that lost in the movie adaptation?

Thank you

@curiouspeetamellark

hmmm, okay, so i'm very willing to admit that i'm a genuine fan of the whole 'lovestruck breathless virgin' thing jhutch was giving us, like. he stepped up onto that stage and gave us movie after movie of Sunshine Boy and we owe him everything for it, BUT—HOWEVER—BE THAT AS IT MAY—

movie peeta... he is missing... how should i say this... a certain little something. a kind of edge.

he is missing, for lack of a better word, Bastardry™.

because we're talking about a guy who is intuitive enough to pick up on how much katniss hates when haymitch calls her 'sweetheart' and then use it to annoy her—

—while also, in the arena, using it as a kind of code phrase.

this is the guy who takes pains to poke fun at katniss for managing to be a prude in life or death circumstances.

and he's apparently such a dog with a bone that he still feels the need to tease her about it a year later.

but it's also yet another scene proving that he can read people. the snark serves a purpose.

but really, i just miss him being rude in general. movie peeta has much less sass.

and while i get that it amps up the difference between how he was and how he is once he's hijacked, i think the most chilling thing about hijacked book peeta is that you can see him—the real him—

—right there under the surface of everything he says.

however, close runner up: the missing prosthetic leg. i will never forgive the filmmakers for cutting that from the story. sorry that i want the oppressive, homicidal government-sponsored murder games' tangible and life-altering bodily consequences not to be brushed aside or ignored for the sake of Keeping Everyone Hollywood Hot, guess i'm just built different. not like that's the point or anything!!!!! that their bodies aren't their own, and exist only for consumption!!!!!

[mejomonster]

I wish once in a while a show would drop as gay as the cdrama Qi Hun adaptation of Hikaru no Go.

No expectation it'll be gay as I didn't see the anime. Just bam little shi guang and yu Liang meeting as little children with ghostie Watching them and shi guang feeling awful he played little yu Liangs heart and let the ghost beat the prodigy kid, yelling at ghost, years later ghost returning, years later deciding he likes go, then running into yu Liang who goes to his apartment and there's a scene with a door between them and yu Liang looked for him for YEARS and thought about him ever since they met! And then the call in the window looking at each other, yu Liang writing his name on shi guangs hand, them both secretly checking in on each other, shi guang calling yu Liang when he's stuck in the mountains, yu Liang rescuing him, the enemies to partners of it all, their time together at the monk retreat. So much I forgot, that I'm sure would be there upon recall. The breakup, the watch gift (and the PatPran Bad Buddy gifset that shows that particular parallel), the watch returned, the moving in together and sharing a bed, the partners globally as go Stars, the looking at each other in the sunlight happy they'll be together and are now from decades coming as the show finally comes to an end

[gayest-squrrel]

Saw your reblog about that TMNT post, I gotta ask about it! What's the basic premise and story???

So far, I've only got a pretty vague idea of the turtles' backstory but I'm super proud of it, so here we go!

The turtles were mutated by the Kraang for beta testing of the mutagen. They were only kept for a couple months before being thrown out.

About 9 months later the Foot found them and decided to turn them into soldiers. The turtles were trained/experimented on for about a year

The Kraang launched an attack on the Foot, and Splinter (who was born into the Foot clan) used it as a distraction to escape with the turtles and was mutated

Then they grew up in the sewers and had silly pizza adventures :)

That's about it I have for a clear storyline so far, so have some tidbits!

April met the boys by falling into a sewer grate

Raph has a literal hole in his head, you can see his brain and everything (he got it when the Foot were experimenting on him)

Donnie has a robot son, like all Donnies should (making a comic for this, actually!)

Raph's biggest dream is to drink lava

Mikey is literally hydrate or diedrate

And now I realize I should list out their species

Donnie is a red-bellied side-neck turtle

Mikey is a kemp's ridley sea turtle

Raph is an african helmeted turtle

And Leo is a false map turtle!

[lyxchen]

hhhhhhhhh i'm so gay

[merigoldaround]

I used to love spending time in the jikook tag (or did I, it's been over two years, maybe I'm just nostalgic). But these days when no one seems to have anything good to do they come and complain about one thing or another, it's more trolling and debunking and taking some moral high stand for "seeing the truth". All I want is to see people sharing cute jikook moments even if they're not new or maybe some actually good takes and positive asks (oh those were the days when we got more content and people didn't get so easily bored, I mean the complainers were there still, but it felt like they were the minority).

Personally I just care that the guys are happy and wish people would be kind. And certain people here are not kind at all. Like who hurt you? Maybe do some self reflection, see to your traumas, I swear it makes a real difference. Negativity bias is a thing, maybe look it up.

[rainswings]

Favorite type of science?

I'm so sorry I'm allergic to smart things and don't really enjoy science generally. Um, maybe zoology? I think animals are cool :)

[redysetdare]

Every issue i have with season 3

Putting under the cut because this is a Rant and i will be angry and critical and I know not everyone likes that.

also LMK S3 spoilers below...obviously.

Even after sleeping on it though, I realize how much some decisions of season 3 have really irked me.

1st thing being the samadhi fire and how they handled it as a whole. Now I’m not too pissy over the fact they changed the backstory for it, Monkie kid is kind of notorious for not following journey to the west for to a T but the way they handle the fire DOES kind of leave a ton of questions continuity wise. Like how in season 2 Tang DOES mention Red son’s original story but if the Samadhi fire was taken from him then that story shouldn’t exist....and if it was before the fire way taken then by the shows logic the dumping of an entire ocean shouldn’t of extinguished it - because the fact is that the fire CAN be extinguished, it just took an entire ocean to do it. Because in the book the fire is a blue flame that cannot be put out by water and instead gets strengthened from it and can travel OVER the top of water. but i digress this is more of a pet peeve.

The main issue i have with the Samadhi fire is actually who they gave it to... which was Mei. My first issue with them giving it to Mei is that 1. it felt like they HAD to change the Samadhi fire’s entire origin for it to make sense and it felt like a forced change because they realized it wouldn’t fit what they wanted to end up happening. second issue is that they LITERALLY TOOK RED SONS THING AND GAVE IT TO ANOTHER CHARACTER???? Red son was right there, they legit could’ve just used him but instead they bent over backwards to make it MEI????  Like literally Red son’s whole story in journey to the west is that he forged the samadhi fire over YEARS and YEARS of perfecting and training his fire abilities and is the ONLY ONE to wield it and they TOOK THAT AWAY FROM HIM??? 3rd is.... what’s even the deal with her having it? her grandpa held it so now she holds it too??? did her parents both have the ability to be the ring to or does that pass down once they have a kid? WHY DID THE FAMILY JUST NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS???

Literally if they wanted Mei to do something cool they could’ve done a billion other things but instead they decided to give her an extremely powerful fire which now is like.... nice she was a dragon before but now she’s gonna be super OP with dragon AND samadhi fire....if she knows to control it now then how will anything be a threat ever with how strong they made that fire?

2nd big issue: This season did not feel like it was about MK and it was frustrating that he didn’t actually get focused on in what is HIS OWN SHOW??? We never got to see him fully get back his powers, in fact we only saw shrinking, gold vision, shapeshifting, AND A SINGLE CLONE APPEARED BUT NO EXPLANATION ON HOW PARTY CLONE EVEN FUCKING GOT THERE? Now i can get if they didn’t want MK to be a focus but it felt like they were trying to make him a focus along with everyone else, which doesn’t work in a 10 episode span (and no u cant tell me he was the focus of the 4 specials because HE WAS NOT.  THAT WAS ALL MEI)

Idk i think with the vision we saw of him from lady bone demon in season 2 you think something more was planned for his character but ig the team forgot about him exploding into blue flames in those visions... I just feel like they had planned more  but then switched it around on us.

another issue is Macaque. ohhh Macaque.... idk i think them bringing up that YES HE DID DIE IN JTTW and his connection to the bone demon like that was interesting. i have no issues withthat. ITS THE ONE LINE THAT TANG SAYS ABOUT REDEMPTION THAT GETS ME. MACAQUE SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN LABELED AS REDEEMED. I’m sorry but i’m firmly of the belief that he has literally done too much to be redeemed simply because he helped the group ONCE to fight a greater evil. that is not redemption. can it be the START to redemption? definitely. but they just kind of.... added him to the group as a friend as if he wasn’t trying to kill and traumatize MK for 3 entire seasons. also the group being like “oh we know you aren’t in it for yourself” was stupid because Macaque has ONLY been shown to be in itt for himself and we just have to be told that “no guys look he really isn't” and then are not shown it or even hinted at that being the case anytime before that? right. That just comes off as sloppy writing to try fulfill either fan desire or they are rushing characters to points they want them to be.

Overall this season felt like it was poorly written and rushed beyond belief and part of me knows it was because they are on a 10 episode season model but also all previous seasons did just fine on a 10 episode model - so why does this one feel so BAD? It felt like they were trying to shove too much into one season that it felt like it jumped around with no real idea of WHERE or WHAT they wanted to focus on and would have to twist things to work in their favor instead of just...going the simple route. it just... it didn’t feel like monkie kid if that makes sense. this season doesn’t feel like a monkie kid season. this doesn’t feel like the last two and ik the stakes are higher but...it still should’ve felt like monkie kid. it shouldn’t be leaving me feeling like i didn’t watch monkie kid.

 i feel like maybe if they had more episodes then maybe some things could’ve been fix but i think the main issue is in the story decisions that the team decided to go in that just...really ruined this season for me.

and like... i love this show. i adore it. it’s my biggest hyperfixation and is so dear to me...so to have it be so disappointing really sucks. because my brain just can’t stop thinking about how disappointed i am over the season.

and maybe I’m way off the mark. I know this is 100% my opinion and are my issues alone with this season and maybe i’m analyzing my issues wrong but they are still my issues. I didn’t go into this season planning to be disappointed. i looked at the season with high hopes and excitement that just...got killed off. a show shouldn’t do that.

[derekhalesbian]

.

[rafeysdoll]

Reader finding a little kitten somewhere and begging rafe to keep it ♡

i struggled soooo much with this request i have no idea why when i literally thought of something similar to this a few days ago >.<. i hope you enjoy it though, struggled the most with the ending ^_^

“it’s reallll hot ray,” you comment rather obviously as rafe leads you down the street, making sure you stay on the side where cars don’t pass by placing his large hand at the small of your back, directing you. 

“know that baby, we’ll get you some water in a bit, alright?” he promises, making you nod compliantly, about to take another step before you hear a soft meow— your heart practically skipping a beat when you look down to find a small kitten besides your new baby pink heels. 

“oh my god!” you squeal, quickly reaching for the lovely animal, lips tugged into a bright big smile. 

before you can pick the kitty up, rafe grabs your wrist, pulling it back quickly. “could have rabies and shit, should know we don’t touch strays. it’s not hygienic, baby.”

you can only thrash your hands against him, melting as the kitten starts rubbing their head against your ankle, purring lightly. “ohhh, look how cute!!” you chirp, quickly grabbing the undomesticated kitten into your arms as soon as you escape rafe’s tight hold. 

“can’t just leave—” you pause, lifting the kitten up to examine the gender. “—her here! she’ll never survive the poor thing..” you sympathize, petting her soft fluffy fur.

rafe could only roll his eyes, shaking his head. 

“thought i told you not to touch it- her. probably has fleas and ticks crawling up all over her body.” he scolds, rubbing the side of his forehead in frustration. 

you don’t even pay much attention to him now, too distracted at the way the small kitten purrs and meows. “oh you’re just the cutest girl ever, aren’t you? what should we name you, hmm?” you ask the kitten as if she could speak back to you. 

“hey! ‘m talking to you, you hear me? d-don’t know why you’re talking ‘bout naming her. we’ll drop her off at a clinic but you should know we’re not bringing her home with us.” 

“w-what? but rafe! look at her.. she’s perfect. it has to be fate! she even came up to us! we can’t abandon her to random strangers,” you beg, hugging her close to your chest. 

“promise i’ll take care of feeding her and cleaning up after her, please let’s take her back home!” you continue, staring up at him with those wide and glossy doe eyes. 

he stays silent for awhile, chewing at the side of his cheek. “.. gotta promise me—,” 

“oh thank you!” you squeal, your eyes burning with what could only be happy tears. “i love you so muchhh!” you rant, kissing all over rafe’s cheek. 

you return back home with your new kitty, who you sweetly named, ‘luna’, as it so read in her shiny pink collar you and rafe picked out while she was receiving a proper de-flea treatment as well as a few necessary shots, rafe squeezing that time to remind you of all the things he wanted you to take care of with your new responsibility. 

and as as the night settled in and luna laid sound asleep in her soft bed, you dolled yourself up in the restroom—changing to a soft white lingerie set, approaching rafe with a cheeky smile. 

“think its time for me to give you your proper thank you, now.. right?” 

[anisespice]

“ the fuck-it list ” || hq!

two || three

synopsis: there’s a list going around consisting of hot guys on campus that are deemed “fuckable” with theories as to what they’d be like in bed. it’s all fun and games until somehow your boyfriend ends up on this list. 

pairing: various x gn!reader [ kags, akaashi, atsumu, kenma ]

warnings: cursing, suggestive language, mild objectification, mentions of cheating, cringe descriptions that aren’t 100% accurate lol 

notes: based this off how my friend and i speculate about how the men in hq would be like in bed sooo it’s really just a little jokey joke, so have fun with her :] thinking of making more parts of this with other characters, lemme know what you guys think, and hope you enjoy!! 

To be completely honest, KAGEYAMA wouldn’t know much about the list aside from maybe surface level stuff. He knew it was full of nonsensical speculations, nothing but weird projections put onto strangers by other strangers who found them attractive. It creeped him out a little, so that’s as far as he wished to know. 

Plus, he had no reason to care about some dumb list—He had you. 

“Have you seen this bullshit?!”  Well, speak of the devil. 

All the training in the world couldn’t have prepared his reflexes for the amount of whiplash you put him through in the span of ten seconds. There he was, minding his business in his dorm room, chilling with a volleyball, then BAM; he’s getting bum-rushed by his 5-foot-something significant other with smoke coming through their ears.

Good thing you had a key because the setter was certain you would’ve smashed right through his door by sheer force. 

“Huh??” Frankly, you startled the poor man. The ball that was in the middle of being set toward the ceiling came barreling down on his face, causing him more disorientation. “See—ouch. See what?” 

You stood there next to his bed, one hand on your hip while the other practically shoved your phone in his face. He squinted at the harsh light, but eventually his eyes adjusted enough to read the post. His lips formed a confused pout. “That stupid, horny hit-list? What about it?” 

“What about it? Some bitch put you on there! Just listen to this garbage, ‘Tobio Kageyama. 6’2ft stoic, and mean Dom who’s pretty damn good with his hands. It’s obvious how much of a perfectionist he is, so be ready for some killer overstimulation. Probably won’t make any noise, and doesn’t know much about aftercare. Overall score: 6/10’. Are they deadass right now?” 

Ah. Now he gets it. 

He figured it was only a matter of time, homie was very much aware of his status around campus, not to mention being a looker to top it off. However, he figured being in a relationship would lessen his chances of him ending up on it, especially since you weren’t a secret or anything. Guess that list really had no morality after all. Who’d have thought? 

“I mean, the audacity to put your name on it knowing damn well if anyone even tried it, I’d gorilla glue all their holes shut.” He snorted, face scrunching slightly at your unusual threat. But, something told him deep down you were being serious. 

You continued ranting while pacing back and forth. “But not only that, they completely warped your entire sexual identity just because, what, you know how to mind your business and happen to have a RBF?” 

“RBF?” He tilted his head, making you halt mid-rant to admire the adorable sight. How dare he? You were in the middle of seething, dammit. 

“Resting Bitch Face.” 

He frowned. “I don’t have that.” 

“Tobio, you’re doing it right now.”

He huffed, looking away from you in defiance. His face was fine, he thought, a perfectly normal face indeed. A handsome face, he’d even say. Immediately picking up on his sourness, you chuckled softly before reaching over to cup his face and make him look at you. Kageyama instinctively wrapped his arms around your waist, his frown still apparent, but a little less heavy once it met your soft gaze. “Don’t be pouty.”

“I’m not…” he mumbled, cheeks squished under your palms. A small blush bloomed across the apples at your teasing giggle. “You’re the one that’s upset, not me. Why do you care if they misrepresented how I am in bed? Shouldn’t you be happy it’s inaccurate?” 

Now it was your turn to huff, your bottom lip sticking out. Kageyama’s eyes honed in on its pillowy surface instantly, licking his own as he restrained himself; there’d be plenty of time for that later. 

“I mean, yeah but…I don’t know. It just…feels icky knowing there are random people around campus theorizing about your dick size in the comments, or if you cry after an orgasm. The least they could’ve done was be a little accurate if they’re gonna cause us all this trouble.” 

“Us? Pretty sure I’m the victim here. Who sucks at aftercare, apparently.” He scoffed, of which earned another giggle from you. “Besides, the only person I care about knowing any of that stuff is right here. They can take their 6/10 and fuck right off. I know my baby would rate me higher than that, right?” 

You pursed your lips, avoiding eye contact as you playfully ignored his obvious bait for praise. Kageyama doesn’t take too kindly to that. He softly glared at you, arms tightening their hold around your waist and pulling you even closer to his toned chest. 

“Oh, it’s like that, huh? That’s fine.”

Before you could register what happened, your boyfriend swept you up without struggle and gently tossed you onto his bed. “However, I will admit they were right about one thing.” 

With a slight bounce, you couldn’t fight the delighted squeal as you watched him prowl towards you. 

“Oh, really? And what’s that?”

He hummed softly, large hands traveling up your legs from the ankles all the way to your inner thighs before spreading them open to rest in between them. Finding home there for a brief moment, Kageyama practically smothered you under his gaze, attention once again zeroing in on your lips. He could feel his restraint dissipating, biting his own lip before slowly leaning down to place warm kisses against your skin. He left no spot unloved until he eventually stopped at your ear, his warm breath sending chills down your spine. 

“I’m pretty damn good with my hands.” 

Like Kageyama, AKAASHI didn’t care to know much about the list. He knows a good chunk of guys that ended up on it personally, and based on the conversations he’s heard them have it sounded like nothing but trouble. 

And he was right to assume such. 

One afternoon a few of his friends came barreling toward him during his break in between classes, each sporting various expressions that ranged from extreme determination (Bokuto) to absolute amusement (Kuroo), while the third looked as if they were brought there against their will (Kenma). Slowly, Akaashi lowered his sandwich with a sigh; so much for a peaceful lunch. 

“AKAASHI.” Bokuto exclaimed, hands slamming down on the table to keep himself from nearly toppling the man. Akaashi flinched slightly at the volume, but before he could reprimand him, Bokuto grabbed him by his shoulders and looked him square in the eyes with grand intensity. “How could you be so selfish? I thought I raised you better than this, young man!”

The former setter gaped; that’s not at all what he was expecting to hear. It didn’t help when Kuroo started busting a lung, both hands on his knees as his hyena-esque laugh bounced off the walls of the canteen. Kenma side-eyed the business major before going back to playing some game on his phone, offering the ravenette a soft greeting, then helping himself to a chair. 

Akaashi acknowledged the pudding-head with a small nod, sharp eyes redirecting back to his senior as he removed the rough hands from his shoulders. “What are you talking about?” 

“I’m talking about you cheating on [_____]!” 

Akaashi blinked. Then, like a switch, his eyes nearly popped out his head as he registered the spiker’s words.  

“WHAT.” 

Kuroo, after finally catching his breath, gave a hearty exhale as he placed a hand on Bo’s shoulder. “Way to rip off the bandaid, buddy. Thought we agreed to work our way up to that part.” 

“Screw that! I demand answers! Can’t believe I’ve been friends with a no good, cheating scumbag, hmph.” Akaashi blanched at the harsh accusation, falling deeper and deeper into a state of pure shock. 

“Wait, hold on—”

“Whoa there, let’s not jump to conclusions. The man hasn’t even gotten the chance to speak for himself. I’m sure there’s a logical explanation for this whole thing.” Kuroo reasoned, but was obviously eating it up. Kenma lightly scoffed.

“You’re so full of shit.” He voiced, not even bothering to lift his gaze away from the game. Kuroo gasped dramatically at the dig, hand over his heart and everything. The former paid him no mind. 

Akaashi abruptly stood. “Can someone please tell me what the hell is going on? I’m not cheating on [______], who’s spreading such a thing?” 

Bokuto squinted. “Oya? Then how do you explain this?” 

Like incriminating evidence being shown to a jury, the silver-haired tank pulled up the updated version of the list on his phone that was posted over an hour ago. Akaashi was still perplexed until he saw it. His name. Oh, god no. 

Akaashi snatched the device to get a closer look just to make sure it wasn’t some sort of prank. To his dismay, the post was legit. Oh, god no. 

“You’ve gotta be kidding me…” 

“Uh huh, busted your ass!” Bokuto snatched the phone back only for Kuroo to then take it from him. “Hey!”

Clearing his throat, the sly bastard began reading the caption. “‘Keiji Akaashi. 6’0ft tall, pretty boy with intelligent steel blue eyes. His mysterious nature and bored expression would automatically put him under the Dom category, but I can see right through him.’ Wow, they make you sound like some sort of experiment.” 

“Don’t read that outloud!” Akaashi lunged forward, only to be stopped by a large hand in his face. “Omf-! Fohkuto-son!” 

“What? Ashamed of yourself? You should be, traitor!” 

Kuroo continued. “‘What many would believe to be the strong silent type, I believe there’s a sensitive side to him. That’s why I declare Keiji Akaashi to be a Switch with Sub-leaning tendencies, who’s not afraid to be vocal and would 100% let you peg him. 11/10. Would fuck again.’ Holy shit, this is gold.” 

“Jesus Christ,” Akaashi felt like his entire face was on fire. This was like his worst nightmare come to life, and apparently now everyone on campus could participate in his misery. “This cannot be happening to me…” 

“Oh, me, me, me. Is that really all you can say for yourself? What about [_____], huh? How do you think they’d feel after finding out their boyfriend is an unfaithful—”

“I DIDN’T CHEAT ON MY S/O, BOKUTO-SAN. That isn’t even the purpose of the list, you should know, you’re on it too!” 

Bokuto gaped. “I am??” 

Akaashi groaned, sinking back into his seat. His hands dragged across his face in distress, feeling as if he aged ten years from this mishap alone. But, Bokuto had a point—How were you feeling about all this? Had you seen it?

Luckily, he didn’t need to wonder for long. 

“Keiji!” 

He flinched, as did the two stooges hovering near him. Kenma was the only one to greet you normally while everyone else resembled deer in headlights; this immediately alarmed you. What you expected to be a surprise lunch with your boyfriend since your class let out early, now felt as if you just walked in on an intervention. After taking in the weird atmosphere, you eyed Akaashi with mild confusion. “Uh…is everything okay?”

“It’s all good, [_____]! Turns out my best friend isn’t a scumbag after all. Akaashi is definitely not cheating on you, so no harm done!” 

You did a double-take in bewilderment; didn’t expect that. “O..kay?”

Bokuto looked so proud of his declaration, chest puffed out whilst Kuroo looked like he could barely hold it together. Your boyfriend clearly had seen better days, frown heavy as he glared at his seniors; all he wanted was to eat his goddamn sandwich. 

Eventually, you decided to just take a seat next to him, pulling out your own food while the two former captains began bickering about who knows what. Kenma continued to play his game, happily taking the apple slices you graciously slid over to him as a boost. After you got situated, Akaashi instantly plopped his head right on your shoulder, desiring comfort from the emotional turmoil he just endured. 

You kissed away the stress lines on his forehead before opening up your bento, already having an idea in mind as to what’s gotten him so deflated. But, you spared him any further humiliation—You planned to report that stupid post later anyways. 

You chilled outside the locker rooms waiting for ATSUMU, upon his request to walk you back to the dorms after practice was over. You told him there was no need, that you’d be fine walking back on your own, but he insisted. 

And you were so glad he did. 

While you were waiting, you mindlessly scrolled on Twitter until a familiar username caught your attention; @/FckIt22. Everyone knew of the infamous ‘Horny Bucket List’ going around and boosting already inflated egos, speculating and even sometimes outing people of their most lewd fantasies with popular guys on campus. You couldn’t help but watch the drama unfold every time there’d be a new update to the list, eating it up whenever it’d be someone you knew, or someone you would’ve never guessed to be on it. 

And to your surprise, after you refreshed the page, it was both. Your mouth was slightly ajar when a picture of your boyfriend’s boyish grin greeted you, in his volleyball jersey, soaked with sweat and hair pushed back from his forehead; looking like a full course meal. 

Eagerly, you tapped in to read the thread attached to the image, intrigued to know what was said about Atsumu until… 

“...The fuck?” 

As quick as your excitement came, there it went. Right there, in big letters for the whole campus, no, the entire internet to see was your boyfriend’s face attached with someone else’s name. And not just any someone. 

‘O S A M U   M I Y A’ 

You didn’t know whether to laugh, or what. Could they’ve seriously not been bothered to make sure they had the right twin? And not only that, they mentioned you in the thread. Didn’t bother to @ you, though.

That only pissed you off even further.

‘Osamu Miya. 6’1ft of muscle and charm, whose insatiable appetite won’t be satisfied until he’s had your thighs wrapped around his face for an hour AT LEAST. Not the most expressive, but make no mistake that he’s the ultimate brat tamer; no doubt [______] could attest to that.’

“I know damn well they didn’t just…” You muttered in disbelief, shaking your head as you read on.

‘But, if you’re good, he mayyyy let you top. Don’t think for a second you’re in control tho. Unlike his brother, he’s got Dom energy for daysss. Doubt this man does anything but grunt and groan, but overall he still gets an 8/10. Yum ♡.’ 

Wow.

You weren’t expecting to see your future brother-in-law painted in this light today, but supposed there was a first for everything. To be fair, whomever ran the account sure knew how to sell a fantasy, but it didn’t excuse the lack of decorum they had. You felt a little disturbed, almost violated. One could only imagine how the twins would feel if they saw this…

“Hey there, stranger.” You jumped slightly at the sudden intrusion; speak of the devil. Atsumu wrapped his arms around your middle from behind, placed his chin on your shoulder, and gave a loving squeeze. “Ya ready?” 

“Uh, yeah.” You quickly locked your phone.

A little too quick. 

A small pout formed on his face. He immediately called you out. “What’re ya lookin’ at?” 

“Hm?”

“Your phone, y’were lookin’ at something.” Noticing your shifty behavior, his grip around you loosened a little as he strained his neck to look you square in the face. It wasn’t long before a teasing grin spread across his. His eyebrows wiggled, “Ya lookin’ at porn?” 

With a roll of your eyes, you lightly jabbed him in his bicep. “Yeah, ‘Tsumu. I was totally looking at porn. You got me.”  

Atsumu shrugged, sporting an even bigger grin as he started to sway both of you. “Hey, no judgement here. But don’t forget ya got the real deal right here, darlin’. Whenever you need it, your lovely boyfriend will take care of ya. All’s ya gotta do is ask.”

He spun you around in his hold, and grabbed your hips. With low, tired eyes he stared deeply into your soul. His lopsided grin brought more damage to your already fluttering heart, not to mention his semi that was now pressed against your stomach; this man had been dying to have you in his arms for a while, it seemed. However, even with this sexual tension growing between the two of you...you just couldn’t help yourself. 

“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind, Osamu.”

Immediately, his grin dropped. You did your best to remain stoic, but the absolute disgust that took over his face was just too good. Your body began to shake with laughter, small snickers escaping you as you bit your lip to hold it back. Atsumu was not amused.

“That joke wasn’t funny back in high school, [______], still ain’t funny now…”

“Oh, this is no joke. As of today, my boyfriend’s Osamu Miya, and apparently he’s my brat-tamer. Did you know that he won’t even let me top unless I’ve been good-?”

“Knock it off.” Atsumu glared, gently pinching your sides. You squirmed, but the teasing smile you had didn’t falter. “What’s gotten into ya? Tryin’ to get a rise outta me or somethin’?”

“Oh, you haven’t seen it yet?”

“Seen what?”

You unlocked your phone and showed him the thread. Atsumu held a look of utter confusion, squinting at it until it eventually registered what you were showing him. He’d heard about the list that circled around on campus, some of his friends and teammates used to brag, or complain about it to him when they ended up on it. At first, he found it entertaining…but now?

“THE FUCK?”

He snatched the phone out of your hands to get a closer look, catching on to what you’d originally been hiding from him in the beginning; Atsumu wished it had been porn.

“That’s what I said!” You laughed, incredulously. “The nerve of them to just mix the two of you up like that. And to add me into it without even bothering to tag me? Probably ‘cause they knew I’d call them out on their bullshit. Can you believe-”

“‘Unlike his brother, he’s got Dom energy for days’?? I totally have Dom energy! We’re fucking twins, why wouldn’t I? And ‘Samu ain’t no brat-tamer! If anythin’, he’s the goddamn brat.” Somewhere on campus, Osamu sneezed.

You stood there in bewilderment. That’s what he’s concerned about? 

Crossing your arms, you watched him in astonishment. “So, you don’t care that they used your picture? Or the insinuation that I sleep with your brother?”

“‘Course I do! Ya think I like the idea of his filthy mouth being anywhere near you? And usin’ my picture to clickbait my supporters is just cheap. But nothin’ pisses me off more than anyone thinkin’ that bastard has better game than me. 8/10 my ass…”

You snorted. Why were you not surprised?

Taking a small step closer you grabbed his wrist and lowered it, bringing his attention away from the phone. Atsumu now wore a heavy pout, one that you couldn’t help but to kiss; so you did. With a free hand you reaching up to his nape and pulled him downward, capturing his lips. Catching him off guard, man nearly dropped your phone when your tongue slipped into his mouth. With a soft groan, Atsumu wrapped an arm around your waist as he tilted his head in response to your sudden affection, deepening the kiss as it instantly made his mind go blank.

You pulled away too soon for his liking, the blonde blindly chasing after you with his eyes still closed as a light chuckle escaped you. You thumbed at his bottom lip, wiping some of the spit left behind as he slowly opened his eyes. Atsumu’s honey-gaze seared right into you, the hunger from early returning as the semi he sported was now fully hard, thick and heavy as it pressed against your stomach—So fucking whipped, after just one kiss. And you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Gazing at him lovingly, your nails raked gently through his hair as he practically melted into you. For a moment, you thought he’d start purring.

“What do they know, huh? How about you take me to my dorm and remind me why Atsumu Miya, my lovely boyfriend, is the only one who takes good care of me. Then, we’ll put that account on blast afterwards, what d’you say?”

His boyish grin reappeared, leaning in to place his forehead on yours. “Thought you’d never ask.”

KENMA felt indifferent about the list. Nothing about it made sense to him, and he left it at that. It didn’t matter how many times his friends brought it up, or how many people whispered about it during lectures—He had no opinion on it. 

“You’re not even a little curious?” Hinata asked.

“No. Not in the slightest.”

The two of them were chilling in the canteen, in the student gaming section, both occupied with their own respective poisons. While Hinata farmed pixelated fruit on his switch, Kenma battled npcs on the public-shared ps4. The copper-head talked on and on about trivial subjects since they’ve arrived, ranging from tough assignments he nearly failed to new moves he tried in volleyball, while the quieter of the two responded occasionally when he felt it necessary. 

Hinata gasped, looking up from his game in genuine surprise. “Whoa, Bakayama said the exact same thing. You and him are probably one of the few guys I know who aren’t interested in knowing if they’re on the list. Well, you two and Suckyshima. And Sakusa-san...and...”

This went on for a good minute. 

Kenma sighed, neutral expression not matching the rapid movement of his thumbs across the controller. “It’s just some dumb list. Not like it benefits anyone.”

“Sure it does! I heard it brought lots of people together,” Hinata paused, tilting his head as he hummed in thought. “Although, I also heard it split people up, too. And caused a lot of rumors…and got that one professor fired…”

Yet another minute, passed. 

Kenma couldn’t help but snort, at least finding his rambling endearing enough to stomach yet another pointless conversation about that accursed list—Why people were so obsessed with it was beyond him. 

“Sounds like a lot of drama. No thanks.”

There’s silence between the two of them, the sound effects from their games being the only thing filling the space. Kenma continued rapidly mashing buttons, tongue sticking out as he concentrated on the level. However, he couldn’t help but feel like they were being watched. They were in a public space, sure, but…something definitely felt off. Choosing to ignore it, he refocused on the game. Hinata just finished up harvesting his watermelons when he suddenly let out a teasing chuckle.

“I wonder if [______] checked.”

Kenma’s thumbs stop. His character was taking incredible amounts of damage, but none of it registered after the mere mention of your name; the pudding-head flushed red. After a moment, he regained composure and went back to smashing buttons, ignoring how slippery his hands just got.  

 “…Why would they do that?” He muttered. 

Hinata shrugged, “Well, just because you’re not curious doesn’t mean they aren’t. Believe it or not, you’re a good looking guy, Kenma-san. And if there’s a fuck-list going around where my s/o might end up on it, I’d wanna be the first to know.”

Hm. Couldn’t argue with that. He always feared you’d end up on the list, but eventually realized it only catered to a certain demographic, mostly focused on the more sociable students, so he figured there was no other reason to care. It’d be a waste of time, Kenma knew for a fact there’d be no chance of him being on it, his outward appearance be damned.

He practically spent his first couple of semesters cooped up in his room, going to class, bare minimum socializing, streamed with his camera off, rinsed and repeated. He didn’t make many new friends during that time, and met you completely by happenstance during a late night cram session in the library; how in the fresh hell would anyone think about fucking him if he rarely gave other people the time of day? 

Kenma kissed his teeth, “You’re being annoying.”

Hinata merely flashed a bright grin, leaning over to playfully poke him in the arm. “Don’t mind~!” 

The dirty-blonde playfully swatted at the intruding hand, earning a bright laugh and another poke from the ginger just for shits n’ giggles, before he returned back to his video game. Unfortunately, the eyes around him didn’t falter, some being less obvious about it whilst others didn’t even try to hide their blatant staring. After a while it started to get uncomfortable, even Hinata couldn’t help getting concerned once he started to notice.

“Uh…is it just me, or are we drawing in a crowd?”

“I dunno. Maybe they’re just waiting for me to get off the game…” Kenma reasoned. But deep down, something told him that wasn’t the case at all.

After some time passed with the situation not getting any better, he decided to just call it a night. There was no point in trying to relax anymore with all those people pointing and whispering. As he began to leave the game, not bothering to save his progress, his phone buzzed. Immediately, Kenma knew it had to have been you—He kept everyone else on DND. When he unlocked his phone, though, the gamer was shocked to see the overwhelming amount of notifications on the screen, all from his closest friends, minus the one he’s currently with. 

It appeared they’d been trying to get his attention for a while. You must’ve been the last resort, as your message urged him to meet at your place.  He didn’t need to be told twice, grateful for this escape from the prying eyes of the random bystanders. 

“I’m heading over to [_____]’s. Sorry to cut our time short.” 

The ginger simply smiled. “It’s okay, know you don’t like crowds. See ya later, Kenma-san!” 

Kenma curtly nodded, offering a tiny smile in gratitude. Slinging his bag over his shoulder, he made haste for the nearest exit, keeping his gaze locked on the ground until he made it outside. He could feel the eyes following him as he left, making a cold chill run down his spine. He couldn’t wait to get to your place.

When he eventually arrived, his knuckle barely grazed the door before it flew wide open, startling him a little. Before he even had time to catch his jumping heart, you pulled him into your embrace, making him tense up slightly until he soon melted into your familiar warmth. Sanctuary. 

“I’m so sorry, Ken. You must be devastated.” 

“Um, I’m fine...” he mumbled. Your arms only grew a little tighter around him, as if you were…shielding him? Eventually you pulled back just enough to look at him, searching his eyes for something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. “Why would I be devastated?”

You blinked widely at him. “You mean you hadn’t seen it?”

He squinted, visibly confused, and your silence did little to calm his wariness. Another cold chill traveled down his spine, hairs on the back of his neck standing straight up as he struggled to figure out what this feeling meant. It wasn’t until after you gave a strained smile, sympathy swirling within your gaze, did it eventually hit him like a semi truck. The flooded messages, the suffocating stares, the whispers...It couldn’t be. 

He slowly began to shake his head. “No...”

You exhaled. “Yes.”

‘Kenma Kozume. 5′6ft recluse with the mannerisms of a kitten. But don’t let his meek demeanor fool you—it’s always the quiet ones you need to look out for. Though his posture may appear questionable, we all know it’s because of the monster between his legs dragging him down, baggy clothes no doubt concealing an absolute masterpiece of toned skin for you to mark up. The effort he puts into playing video games, don’t expect the same amount in the bedroom. I believe Kenma to be a lazy Switch with Sub energy, who’ll spend most of the session on his back, but that’s okay. We stan a pillow prince. 9/10.’

He looked at your phone with mild disgust. “You’re fucking joking.”

“'fraid not. It was posted less than an hour ago, probably while you were gaming with Hinata. Kuroo was the first to see it, and sent it to the groupchat. That’s why I assumed you had seen it already. Dammit, I knew someone would notice how hot you were sooner or later. And here I thought I was doing a good job gate-keeping you. ”

“Don’t just say stuff like that out loud...” He flushed, tugging on your sleeve in mild embarrassment. After composing himself, Kenma let out an irritated exhale. “What a pain. Whatever, this’ll probably blow over by tomorrow. Someone else will be posted and they’ll forget all about me. Guess I’ll just keep an even lower profile until then. Shouldn’t be too difficult.” 

Laying together on your Snorlax beanbag chair, Kenma turned on his stomach to bury himself in the plush cushion, wanting to forget this whole nightmare. But, you weren’t gonna let him wallow so easily. Tugging on the shoulder part of his sleeve to get his attention, Kenma groaned before tilting his head slightly to peek at you with one eye through the curtain of his hair. 

“You don’t understand, Ken. Bitches practically froth at the mouth for the sexy, socially awkward, gamer-boy type with the messy hair and lax attitude. I would know, I am bitches!” He snickered softly, rolling his visible eye. “My point is, this most definitely will not blow over by tomorrow. Not when they’re already hooked on the fantasy of you.”

“Exactly, a fantasy.” He said, slightly muffled. Shifting to lay on his back, Kenma rested his arms behind his head as he stared at the ceiling. “Meaning they’ll never get to know the real thing, so eventually they’ll get bored. You shouldn’t work yourself up over this, kitten.” 

“Yeah, but what if someone-” 

Reaching over, Kenma gently flicked your forehead. With a soft yelp, you half-heartedly glared at him before going to retaliate with your own flick. He merely grinned, eyes full of mirth as he swiftly grabbed the hand and used it to pull you in closer. “They won’t. And even if they do, I'll just get Kuroo to tell one of his lame jokes to scare ‘em off. Problem solved.” 

You lightly hit his arm, but still graced him with a laugh. Somewhere on campus, said rooster-head sneezed. 

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