#hopefully the links and the text change works this time

[grimoirguestbook]

Book of Bill Website Codes

(Organized by category with notes)

Here's my list of inputs that work on the website :)

Hopefully the read more works like I think it does and I don't accidentally spoil anybody

That being said by clicking read more you will see All of the codes I have found so far

Please be mindful and try not to spoil anybody else with this information. So please be careful if reblogging

I got everything I have collected/found on here, it's a bit messy right now but After I take a small break I'll reorganize and add notes but for now everything's on here, please so check out the posts linked in the log as once I lost all leads I looked to their post for other inputs :)

Also feel free to put any you know of that Aren't on here in the replies I'm sure there's some missing

I will be updating as I find more so check back in if you can! :)

Thank you!

They'll be categorized by

Neat Tv text- Nothing special the tv just gets some text to it

Tab pages-brings you to another tab/website

Audio/video- Audio/video clip plays

Readables- A picture will pop up on screen that you can read

Printables- You can print them :D!

Other- Hard to categorize

Note:

If an * is next to a name that means that you can get different results for the same prompt

(Any personal notes will be in parenthesis)

-> An arrow means that the Passwords are found in the previous page

ex- Page with code that translates to "dork"-> Dork

Slashes/mean/that/any/of/the/prompts/listed/will/take/you/to/the/same/page

Blue text with an underline is a link! Haha! would you look at that! it works!

Will Keep this updated as I find more and will Note the logs at the end of this post

?????

For the mason page anagrams I know WHO they are I just don't know WHAT to do with them, i know it says cryptogram codex at the bottom i think i have to do something with the anagram results but I'm unsure what that is. Stanford Pines Stanlie Pines Gideon Charles Gleeful Preston Northwest Pacifica Elisa Northwest

Notes to Dipper Prompt: (Unsure why- Maybe going to Blind eye page and blurring it but changes from dipper being told to stare at the sun to "I THINK ITS WORKING! STARE HARDER! HARDER!" and the page looking burnt I Think it has to do with how many input codes you enter, It now says "you've almost solved it" and is even more burnt than before, it is now full black)

Neat Tv text-

Pines

Blendin

*Triangle

Axolotl

Ducktective

Book of Bill

TJ Eckleburg (Great Gatsby)

Nothing

Something

*Ciphertology

Deer Teeth

Scalene

Scrimbles

No

Fortnite/skibidi/ohio/rizz/crypto/elon/gyatt/Doge

Life

Death

Portal

Question

Answer

Euclid

*Well Well Well Being

Reality

The Universe

Journal 1

Journal 2

Journal 3

Theyll see/They'll all see/I see

Filbrick

Disney/Disneyland/Mickey Mouse

CIA/FBI/NSA

333 Sundapple Lane Cozy Creek IL 60714-94611

Season 3

Season 2

Season 1

Caryn

Euclydia

Skeleton

Who are you

Burnside

Family matters

When will I die

Multilevel mark/caesaratbashvigenere

Scientology

Easter egg

Sevral times

oh yes they both

Am i Blanchin

Bye gold

Youre insane

History

Hologram

Scalene

Euclid

Titans Blood -> Owl Trowel

Text Chain (You get questions who's answer is another password)

Riddle->Yes -> Mountain Dont -> Lyre Liar -> Harolds Ramblings -> Union Made -> 29121239168518 -> Grebley Hemberdreck -> Rat -> 3466554 -> Tinsel Snake -> Torture Mentally -> Xgqrthx -> 333 sundapple lane cozy creek IL 60714-94611-> MutliLevel mark->emmaline butternubbins->Dispense my treat

What i thought it was (with answer sources):

Riddle->Yes -> Mountain Dont -> Lyre Liar -> Harolds Ramblings -> Union Made -> 29121239168518 -> Grebley Hemberdreck -> Rat -> 3466554 -> Tinsel Snake -> Torture Mentally -> Xgqrthx -> Titans Blood -> Owl Trowel

Answers found in TBOB- Don't Know, NA, Mcguckets dream page, Medieval page, Anti-Cipher Section- tonic page, Anti Cipher Section- Newspaper, Top Secret page, Textbook page- Skin, Dark Ages Page, Anti Cipher Section-Epilogue, A winter break- footprints page, Book of Bill Cover options page, Never trust a wizard page, Have you dreamed this fellow ad (references informercial in show)

Tab pages-

Abuelita

Dippy Fresh

Alex Hirsch/Alex/Hirsch

*Stan/Stanley (his outfit in ebay searches plus a READABLE with SICK music mind you-Check readable section for more info)

Grunkle Stan

*Gideon (second option unlocked after fully "mableizing" the room)

Waddles

Mcgucket/ Old man McGucket/Fiddleford

Bill/Cipher/LLIB/LLIBREHPIC

Bill Cipher/Rehpic

Zyler (Goes to same place as Craz)

Craz (Goes to same place as Zyler)

Toby Determined

Gravity Falls

Mystery Shack

Not a phase

Blanchin

Peak

Cray Cray

Fixinit1

Meow

Fuck alex/Fuck you alex

Globnar

Monster

Audio/video-

Babba/Discogirl

*Gideon (unlocked after fully "mabelizing" the room)

Tad Strange

Pinata (DEFINATELY WORTH WATCHING)

Vallis Cineris (Found on wall when lightning strikes)

Hey Nerd

Weird (Love him)

Spookemups/Spooky/Scary

That's just a/Theory/Gametheory/Matpat (<3)

One Eyed King-> Naitsuaf (Morse Code) ( early years page)

Forget the past

Im still on your mind

Dorito/Nacho

Just fit in

Rubberhose

Love/Boyfriend

Hectoring

Conspiracy

God/Frillium/Help me

Burned inside

Kook

Kubrick

Small/audio log/music (nothing showed up at first, turned off tv and strange audio played, needs to be reversed)

L is real 2401 (soos my boy)

Readables-

Mason (Dippers real name)

*Dipper (personal notes in ???- keep opening the card to get different results)

Pacifica-> PlatinumPaz

Ford/Standford/Sixer

Wendy

Robbie (def worth a look IMO)

Soos-> Pinata

Cursed (Translated from candle in background)

Ad Astra Per Aspera

Blind Eye->Theyll see (Will blur if clicked on, cannot un-blur, may change dipper?)

Weirdmageddon

Lies

Sorry

Booberry (Decoded from popsicle stick)

Even his lies are lies (Front paper)

Tantrum ( code on Bills Mugshot page)

Suck it Merlin

Shave your Grandma (leads to dippy fresh page)

Baby Bill/baby/lalalalala/daddy/mommy

Owl Trowel

Hotxolotl->Seven eyes-> r34lity

Love ya bro

Fuck/Shit/Fuckyou/bitch/slut/sex

Baaaa-> Black Sheep

naitsuaf (click are you ready-> Sign "pleasure doing business with you -candle light turns blue- OR be a coward (losing sound effect plays)

oroborous-> Frillium

Glass sand beach

math/trigonometry/

horror/creepypasta

destruction is a form of creation

unreality

you can't kill an idea

virus

Occurremusiterum

*Stan (click multiple times to get-once there click "how he beat me several times)

Card

Theraprism

Dionarap->stod eht tcennoc

Printables-

Tyrone/Clone/Paperjam

Curse Wittebane (translates runes on page about witches)

Paper is just book skin ( BE WARNED: automatically downloads a photoshop file and crashses the cite)

Irregular (has code on it)

Divorce/breakup

Other-

Mabel (You get fun stickers and a popping sound :) )

*Giffany ( You put her name in multiple times and it forcibly downloads pictures of her and a text document to your computer, scared me a little Not gonna lie here)

Kings of New Jersey (downloads "secret code" font)

cryptogram codex (downloads cryptogram fonts)

dispense my treat-> Kook (downloads a bunch of cool wallpapers)

Log:

One hour after posting: Added 17 new words

Found by me: Booberry, Mountain Dont, Xgqrthx, titans blood, lyre liar, haralds ramblings, union made

Accidentally found by looking at a post: Sorry

Gifted by replier (Thank you!): MATPAT, yes, no, Fortnite, life, death, portal, question, answer

30 minutes after last update: 9 Words added

Found by me: Theraprism, 29121239168518, Grebley Hemberdreck, Rat, 3466554, Tinsel Snake, Torture Mentally, Fordtramarine, Gun (shocked that worked It was a joke- "bill cipher has A GUN")

Like THREEEEEEE ish hours later?

Found by me: one eyed king, well well well being, shave your grandma, paper is just book skin, even his lies are lies, forget the past, irregular, euclid, tantrum, suck it merlin

Like 12 hours later

Found by me: Reality, Baby Bill, Reality, The universe, Giffany (why is it two Fs, Blarg) They'll see, I'm still on your mind, Journal 1, Journal 2, Journal 3

Gifted to me by a replier (Thank you!): Owl Trowel

Idk- Later

Found by me: hotxolotl, lova ya bro, kings of new jersey, fuck, just fit in

Found on twitter(JasonRitter): Dorito, Blanchin'

Gifted to me by Replier(Thank you!): Gideon's option knowledge

Even MORE later:

Me: Seven eyes, r34ality, filbrick, disney, skibidy, rizz, ohio, love, cia, fbi, rubberhose, 333 sundapple lane cozy creek il 60714-94611, bahhhh, black sheep, naitsuaf, oroborous,theyll see, theyll all see Frillium, occuremusiterum (some of these i gave myself because i was really close but just missed a small detail/spelling)

Taken from here and Here Because I got stumped: Season 3, Season2 , Season 1, Glass shard beach, caryn, Euclydia, Peak, Theory, Cray Cray, Help me, mickey mouse, hectoring, divorce, breakup, skeleton, math, history, monster, gyatt, who are you, fixinit1, conspiracy, riddle, cryptogram codex, horror, creepypasta, trigonometry, god, boyfriend,baby, lalalalala, scary, trigonometry,just blendin, morality, burnside, family matters, when will i die, elon, multilevel mark, goodnight sally,paper jam, tourist trap,the duchess approves,shape, scientology, meow, nacho, crypto,sevral times,easter egg, oh yes they both, daddy, mommy, burned inside, destruction is a form of creation, i see, unreality, you can't kill an idea, am i blanchin, fuck alex, fuck you alex, fuck you, shit, bye gold, nsa, globnar,disneyland,kook, kuibrick,virus,that's just a, you're insane

Next day

Found online: Dionarap, stod eht tcennoc, dispense my treat

[godnectar]

Yan cheater is crazy

・✶ ｡ﾟ𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑 ;

cw: cheating, stalking, attempted gaslighting, jealousy, some violence, sabotage, guilt tripping, etc. ( inbox link )

𖣠 YANDERE CHEATER! who's a master of deception. he will act shocked and hurt if you dare suspect him of cheating, putting on a convincing display of innocence in front of you and whoever who was the fucker you call friend placing such horrendous and disgusting but unfortunately true thoughts inside your pretty little head.

𖣠 YANDERE CHEATER! who, even if he doesn't really feel too guilty about his actions, quickly starts to see red the moment a goodbye text from you arrives on his phone. a few hours later, it's his knuckles, the ones splattering crimson against your bff's face, unhappy and frustrated with how easy was for them to undo the blindfold of your eyes and finally see how much of an unfaithful asshole your man was.

𖣠 YANDERE CHEATER! who would continue monitoring his darling's online presence even after your breakup, tracking your activities on social media and messaging apps to gather information about your emotional state and any potential love interests, jaw clenching furiously every time he finds out you've posted a new picture or story out with your companions.

𖣠 YANDERE CHEATER! who, if you ever start dating someone else, would definitely try his best to sabotage this recently formed relationship, employing nasty tactics like sending suspicious texts and pics about your new lover from a burning account to create doubt and insecurity in his sweetheart's mind. we could try and say that, if he can't have you, no one will– but that would still be dumb for him, as he knows you'll always end up coming back seeking his sweet, warm, and deceptive embrace.

𖣠 YANDERE CHEATER! who would also take his time to arrange situations where he can coincidentally bump into you, making it seem like it's fate the one bringing you back together as soulmates and not his dirty play. of course, he would double down on his previous apologies, promising that he has changed and is willing to do anything to make things between you two right.

𖣠 YANDERE CHEATER! who, if he notices at any moment the doubts appearing in your mind, will end up using his last but hopefully useful card, and question about whether you have ever truly loved him, suggesting that you're responsible for the fact that his heart has searched for someone else's affection when your touch started turning cold.

"baby... why do you cry? you're the one who made all of this happen– the least you could do is try and love me rightly."

© godnectar 2023. please do not modify, translate, or repost my works on any platform without my permission.

[holygroundsound]

A BRIEF EXPLANATION OF ALL THE BUTTONS ON TUMBLR MOBILE FOR MY TWITTER REFUGES :)

i know a lot of fellow former twitter users are a bit confused by this app, so here’s some hopefully helpful tips!

this is what you should see at the bottom of the screen when making a new post

the first button (Aa) lets you change the size of your font into a bigger heading or subheading, or even make your text a cursive or times new roman type font

it also lets you make these bulleted lists! to use it, just tap multiple times until you get the setting you want

tap this button to add links, then just type the site name in the box and hit return. for example: http://heresalink.com

these are where you can add gifs, pictures, and music! for pictures, just tap the icon and select what you want, then you can press and drag to move it around or drag to the trashcan to delete

gifs are very similar to twitter - type in what you want and scroll through the options

GIF by taylorsnationblog

music is also similar. type the song you want and tap on it. podcasts also work!

this button is for polls! tap and add your silly little answers. the duration can be a day or a week

this button lets you make a “cut” in your posts which is basically a “read more” button. got a long post you don’t want cluttering up everyone’s dashes? click here!

lastly, this button lets you set content warnings! specifically this is for “mature content”, but when you click mature you can specify whether its due to drugs/alcohol, violence, or sexual content

this can be helpful to clue people in to potential triggers but PLEASE ALWAYS TAG YOUR SPECIFIC TRIGGERS ANYWAYS.

Other Helpful Tips

“highlight” your text by pressing and selecting like normal to unlock a bunch of cool formatting options including bold, strikethrough, and colors

hitting the three dots next to the post button lets you access a bunch of post settings like queuing posts, scheduling posts, saving drafts, making posts private (PLEASE NOTE: you cannot unprivate posts after, but you can share the link), and choosing who can reblog & who can pay to promote your content

CONGRATS you’re now ready to make better posts like a tumblr pro

[stargirllanaa]

୨⎯ "Cruel World” - Rafe Cameron

❥ Masterlist

Warnings: Dark!Rafe, Noncon smut, toxic relationship, Abusive relationship, Domestic violence, Gun violence, Drinking, ex!rafe, Rafe is actually terrible, psycho ex bf Rafe

Summary: loosely, based on ‘Cruel World’ by Lana Del Rey, everything goes wrong when you spot your psycho ex bf at a New Year’s Eve party.

A/n ✎: Thank you so much for 100 followers! Ahhhh!!!! I’m so glad you guys are enjoying my work, I recommend listening to the song ofc but you don’t have too. Bold and italics are flashback. Enjoy <333

Wc: just under 3k

18+ MINORS DNI, YOU WILL BE BLOCKED

“Does anyone know where I put my eyeliner?” Your friend Nora asked you, as well as your other friend Violet.

You were all getting ready for some New Year's Eve party at Nora's boyfriend's house; everyone would be home from college for winter break, so you were excited to see all the people you went to high school with.

“No, but I know where the vodka is!” Violet chuckled,

“Come on, let's all take a shot!” Violet continued as she made her way over to you.

“Come on, y/n, are you going to pout all night? He might not even be there.” the brunette expressed as she sat beside you, bottle in hand.

She was referring to your ex, Rafe Cameron, and you knew for almost a fact that he would be there. Nora's boyfriend happened to be his best friend, Topper, and you and Rafe hadn't exactly ended on the best terms. The two of you had been broken up for about a month and a half; for the first two weeks, he would not stop texting and calling you, profusely apologizing, saying things like, ‘I'll go to therapy.’ ‘give me another chance.’ ‘I'll be better.’

It got so annoying that you had to block him; obviously, that wouldn't stop him. The thing was, Rafe was fucking crazy; he would always find a way to get to you, and if he didn't, he simply didn't want to.

“He's going to be there.” You said with a sign, “I'm just going to get fucked up, ignore him, and hopefully get some dick tonight.”

“That's the spirit!” Violet said as you tilted your head back, and she poured the vodka down your throat.

“Are you kidding me?” Your boyfriend asked you in a harsh tone as he stalked toward you.

“What?” you respond as you tried to take a wobbly few steps back.

His eyes narrowed at you, and his eyebrows furrowed.

“Well, aside from the clown makeup,” Rafe said, referring to your red lipstick.

“How many times do I have to tell you I don't like that dress?” Rafe interrogated as he roughly grabbed your waist.

“How many fucking times, y/n?” the blonde shook your body roughly. “For you to get it through your thick fucking skull?”

You were silent, frozen almost; whenever Rafe got violent, you didn't know how to react. You didn't fight; you didn't try to run; you stood wide-eyed in shock because if you did respond the wrong way, you knew it would make things 10x worse than they already were.

“Huh?” He asked you, shaking your body roughly again, waiting for you to respond.

“I- I don't know.” You mumbled weakly.

“You don't know,” he mocked with a dry humorless laugh.

“Go and change. Red looks trashy on you.” He stated before letting go of you with a harsh push into the wall.

All your friends knew that Rafe was bad, but they certainly didn't know how bad he was. You were so good at hiding it, concealer, color corrector, foundation, you name it; if it could cover a bruise, you had it. Every story you told them about your fights with Rafe were very watered down, and because of that, no one knew how truly scared you were to run into Rafe at this party. Not in an ‘Oh, no, my ex!’ way more in a ‘he might kill me way.’ But with every shot you took, you felt your fear start to fade slowly, and when you arrived at the party five shots in, in your little red party dress, you felt way more confident than you should have.

Your arm linked with Violet’s as your friend Nora lost the two of you to find her boyfriend. You and Violet stumbled through the house, passing through groups of people, trying your best to find the drink table.

“By the way, I love your dress,” Violet approved, looking you up and down. “Red is your color.”

“Thank you!” you smiled, taking the compliment to heart; she didn't know just how much that meant to you; you hadn't worn red since Rafe had told you it was ‘trashy’ on you.

“Fuck, is the Britney Smith?” Violet giggled, pointing at the short blonde girl.

“Isnt she pregnant?” you wondered as your eyes fell on the drink table.

“Oh my god, look who's right next to the drinks,” Violet says before covering her mouth with her hand.

“Is that Alex?” you replied, squinting your eyes to get a better look.

Violet nodded in response, eyes wide with excitement.

“Go talk to him!” you smiled at her. “I'll sit right over there,” you said, pointing at the elegant velvet couch.

As you sat on the couch, you couldn't stop thinking about Rafe. Your anxiety slowly started to rise, and you regretted every choice you made up to this point. First of all, you and Rafe had ended on horrible terms; second of all, you came to a party that you knew he would most likely be at, and now you are all alone and a little more drunk than you'd like to be.

You couldn't stop thinking back to that day, your breaking point, the last fight you had with Rafe before you ended things for good.

“Why are you following John B on Instagram?” Your boyfriend asked you as he looked up from his phone.

The question confused you a bit; you honestly didn't even know you were following him in the first place.

“I don't know?” you replied with a shrug. “Probably was an accident; maybe Sarah tagged him in something or-”

“Was it an accident when you smiled at him the other day at the wreck?” he cut you off.

Was he serious right now? John B had waved at you, and you simply smiled in return. You were just being nice; it was nothing more than that.

“Rafe, I-” You were going into very dangerous territory, and you knew that, even though Rafe was physically attractive, he was very insecure, which showed a lot in your relationship.

“If it's another bullshit excuse, I don't want to hear it,” he scolded as he stalked towards you.

He wasn't even giving you the chance to defend yourself, and frankly, it was pissing you off even more than his stupid questions.

“Rafe, I don't even know what you're talking about; I literally-” you plead with your boyfriend, taking a step back for every step he took forward.

“Of course you ‘Dont know,’ you never do.” Rafe hissed at you, moving closer and closer.

“That's what you do; you act all fucking innocent and then sneak around behind my back.” the blonde accused.

“Do you think I'm stupid?” He sneered, backing you against the wall.

That was the final straw; now he was accusing you of cheating from a simple smile and an Instagram follow. I mean, how delusional could he be?

“Are you fucking crazy?” you asked him, eyebrows furrowed.

You could tell he was shocked at your response by the way his eyebrows arched upwards slightly, but you could also tell you pissed him off by the way his jaw ticked.

“What did you say to me?” He asked; he heard you loud and clear the first time; he just wanted to see if you had the guts to repeat it.

“Are you fucking crazy? I follow him on Instagram. So what? I can unfollow him if it's a problem.” you argued, shocked that this was even an issue.

Rafe's hand shot forward without warning, delivering a sharp slap to your face. Time momentarily slowed as the impact echoed through the room. As the sting of the slap registered, a deep sadness clouded your features. You hated to say it, but you were used to rafe hurting you.

“Who do you think you're talking to?” Rafe asked you. Blue eyes are darker than their everyday shade.

“Huh?” He scoffed, laughing slightly.

“Calling me crazy…talking to me like I'm the one in the wrong?” your boyfriend shouted as he snatched a big chuck of your hair, gripping it tight enough to bring tears to your eyes.

“Rafe, I-” you tried to defend yourself as tears clouded your vision.

“No, I'm talking now.” His voice boomed as he screamed in your ear.

Rafe slammed your head against the wall behind you, using your hair as leverage; at this point, your ears were ringing, your head was banging, and you couldn't speak from the pain alone. And Rafe just kept going on and on about how important trust is in a relationship, but how could you even listen when he was gripping your hair so tight? But obviously, Rafe didn't see this as punishment enough because he dragged you by the hair to his closet, and even as he rustled through his sock drawer, clearly looking for something, he didn't once let go of your hair.

“Rafe! Stop-” You were cut off by the feeling of ice gold metal pressed against your temple; you were completely frozen, not knowing what to do; there was no way your boyfriend was pressing a gun against your head over an Instagram follow.

“If you even look at john b again, your fucking dead.” Rafe threatened coldly.

Your heart was racing; Rafe was impulsive knowing him; you could breathe the wrong way, and he would pull the trigger. That didn't stop your breath from fasting and your tears from falling, though.

“You hear me?” he asked, pulling your hair back just enough to make eye contact.

You didn't say anything; you had been sobbing ever since you felt the metal against your head in the first place.

“Do you hear me?” He shook you, demanding an answer, “I will fucking kill you.”

“Yes!” you cried out, hoping and praying for him to put the gun down and let go of you.

And when you left his house that night, you had never returned. Rafe did have his good moments, but was he worth your life? You broke up with him over text the following day, and you hadn't seen him since.

Since today, as soon as you looked up from your lap, lost in thought, you made eye contact with Rafe. You felt sick when you saw him; you knew he would be here, but you weren't expecting to see him this soon.

You stood up, making your way through the separate groups of people; you needed to find somewhere you could be by yourself because right now, you felt like you might have a panic attack.

“Excuse me,” you repeated over and over as you drunkenly stumbled to the stairs. No one was upstairs, other than maybe a few people hooking up, but other than that, it was pretty empty. You looked for a room, apologizing when you opened the door to see Nora and Topper making out. You stumbled through the halls until you found an empty room, sighing in relief as you closed the door behind you.

Your relief was short-lived because you didn't realize that Rafe was following behind you the entire time, and when he entered the room, you instantly regretted isolating yourself from the rest of the party and your friends.

“No.” you panicked, anxiety rising deep within your stomach.

He was intentionally standing in front of the door. There was no way out.

“Hey, Listen, y/n-,” Rafe said calmly, trying to calm you down.

“No! Get away from me!” you interrupted words slurring, not wanting to hear a thing from him.

You had no desire to speak to Rafe, not after all he had put you through in your relationship, not after you had been in therapy for the past month to heal the pain he had caused you. He wasn't just a regular ex, Rafe was fucking crazy, and you both knew it; you knew he was waiting to see you in person again, probably planning it, planning out exactly how he was going to get you back and what he was going to do if you declined his offer.

“Can you just listen to me!?” he snapped at you, slightly losing his calm demeanor. “I just want to talk-” He said through his teeth, walking over to you and away from the door.

“Well, I don't want to talk!” you barely even knew what you were saying; your head was spinning, and you regretted every shot you had taken earlier.

“So that's how it's gonna be, huh?” Rafe mumbled to himself more than you, fist clenching as he spoke.

As he got closer and closer, the room seemed easier and easier to escape; you knew you couldn't scream for help because of the loud music banging throughout the house; no one would hear you, and you knew you couldn't put up the best fight because you were drunk and Rafe’s also way stronger than you, he had proved this time and time again.

So you took the opportunity to run for the door while you still could. But two steps in, Rafe had already caught you and wrapped his arms around you, holding you tightly against his stiff chest.

“I didn't want to make this complicated.” he hissed into your ear. “But come on, y/n, it's almost like you want me to hurt you.”

You thrashed your body, wiggling side to side, trying to escape his grip.

“You’re fucking crazy!” You shouted as you continued to attempt to free yourself.

“Yes! I'm crazy,” Your ex admitted as his grip around you tightened, and his nostrils flared. “I'm crazy for you.” he dug his nails into your side.

“Get off of me!” you cried out, voice raw with emotion.

“You come to my best friend's party wearing the fucking dress I hate! Knowing I'm going to be here!” he criticized, pushing your body towards the bed. “It's almost like you want me to take it off.”

“Rafe, stop, I-” you were cut off by Rafe throwing you on the bed and wrapping his hands around your throat as he hovered over you.

“Shut the fuck up!” He sneered, looking down at you with dark eyes.

“You fucking left me!” His grip got tighter the more he spoke. “Not even a call, but a fucking text.” he scolded. “Do I really mean that little to you?”

You didn't end things the way you did because you didn't care about Rafe; you cared about Rafe so much, more than you ever wanted to, and that hurt; throughout everything he's done to you, all the pain he's caused you, you still cared. You broke up with Rafe over text because you were terrified; he had threatened to kill you over an Instagram follow; you couldn't imagine what he would have done if you dared to break up with him in person.

But you couldn't say any of that because he was choking you so hard that you couldn't breathe, let alone speak; all you could do was hit his hands repeatedly, hoping he would let go.

“You didn't care about my feelings. Why should I care about yours?” He asked you, looking deeply into your bloodshot, teary eyes with his blue angry ones.

Your mind was racing; Rafe was actually going to kill you. You saw this day coming many times throughout your relationship, but you didn't expect it to happen when you guys were finished. You had shared your body, your mind, everything with him, and you had been happy it was over; you finally were starting to feel like yourself again. But now he was going to take that all away from you.

Rafe finally let go when he started to see your eyes roll back as you started to lose consciousness.

You gasped for air in between coughs as you held your throat, desperate to soothe it from the pain he caused with his harsh grip. You had accepted death. You knew exactly who you were dealing with, and the thought of him killing you over a breakup wasn't too far-fetched.

“You have a lot of making-up to do after the stunt you pulled last month,” Rafe sighed as if he was inconvenienced by what he was doing to you.

The stunt you pulled? Your break up was serious, and for a good reason; he was lucky you hadn't called the police; if anyone had pulled a ‘stunt,’ it was him. He had pulled a series of stunts throughout your whole relationship. He was pulling one now.

Before you knew it, Rafe was tugging at your dress, attempting to pull it off you. If there was one thing you weren't doing, it was going down without a fight. You tried your best to kick him and scratch him, everything, but you were drunk, had just been choked, and Rafe was much stronger than you, so he pinned your wrist above your head with one hand and pulled the bottom of your dress up with the other.

“Remember this, y/n,” He said as he positioned himself up against your cunt. “Remember this feeling the next time you think about trying to leave.” He taunted before pushing into you roughly.

As he thrusted into you repeatedly at a rough and harsh pace, you sobbed. You thought Rafe was behind you; you told yourself you would never let a man hurt you the way he did again. You were so happy when he was gone.

“Fuck, take this off,” Rafe moaned as he pulled your dress over your head.

With every hash thrust, your cries got louder. Rafe didn't care about your pleasure or even his; he wanted to hurt you; he wanted to see your tear-stained face. This was your punishment, and he was succeeding. The only thing you felt between your legs was severe pain.

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!” you heard everyone downstairs scream in unison.

“Happy New Year,” Rafe smirked as he pulled you in for a rough, sloppy kiss.

Rafe was fucking crazy.

[ri-writes-if]

Chapter 2 is released

LINK

It's here! Around 60K for the whole update, with an average of ~12K words for one playthrough.

I recommend replaying from the start because I edited a couple of variables in the first chapter and something could break if you use a save.

In this chapter

You call tell (or not) the demon of your choice about your curious vision from the first chapter.

Learn what the characters do for fun and have a small discussion about it.

Find new useful information about making most of your abilities and start training with some side help.

Visit the Abyss! Such a great experience.

First romantic choice. It's a light one, but it's a start 💛

Get princess carried if you want.

This chapter introduces the first “pushing away” choices. They will be counted and will affect how the characters react to some things you do or will add some flavor text now and then. These choices won’t lock you from the friendly/romantic routes. However, they do have some other side effects… At least in this chapter.

Small changes

Added ages to the characters’ profiles, including the MC.

Added the option to customize the characters’ gender.

Balanced the characters’ gender in the “both genders” option.

Updated the Codex with a bit more lore information.

I hope you enjoy this update! If you do, I would love to hear your thoughts on it 💛

A bit of commentary on the "pushing away" choices and next plans under the line.

For the “pushing away” choice in this particular chapter, you will have a choice to apologize or change your mind about it in the next couple of chapters (tentatively) and speak about it with the affected character. I’m still on the fence whether it’ll decrease the overall “pushing” counter or not; I’ll probably decide that when I write these scenes.

This is an experimental feature (that I could delete or change at some point), but I hope I make it work in the story because I think it's a nice idea that negative choices won’t just decrease “relationship points” but also will be remembered by the characters and affect how they view some things you do or say or how they act around you the more you push them away. Especially if you want to smooch them at some point when you were cold to them just recently or for a while, lol.

It’s not perfect, but I’m satisfied with the chapter for now. It feels like I’ve been working on it a bit too long, and after rereading 10+ times to edit it, I’ve grown blind to weak places in it (and also kind of tired of it). I need to let it rest for a bit before returning to hone it, but I’ll probably do it only in the future when I have more chapters written or even after I finish the story since I want to keep moving forward and not stall in one place.

I'll continue planning details for the next chapter and then start drafting it. I've already thought of interesting things to include that could be very fun to write (and to read, hopefully, considering the main topic for the chapter is full of potential 🤭). I'm very excited to work on it, especially since I'm almost done with building the foundations in the story and soon will be able to get to the juicy parts of the plot. And there are also personal side stories of the cast, which will be starting in the next ~two chapters. Can’t wait to get to those too.

[daceydeath]

Not Like This

Pairing: Han x Reader Word Count: 3.9k Genre: Angst Warning: Swearing, Online Bullying

You had known the risks when you allowed your friendship turn into a relationship with Han. Dating an Idol was far from ideal never getting to go on normal dates, never going anywhere he might be recognized, lying to Stay that you were just part of their team. You knew the risks but he was worth it, at least you were mostly sure he was worth the risk.

You had met Han by total accident almost two years ago when he literally bumped into you while he was out shopping with Felix and Seungmin, spilling his coffee down the side of your top. At that time you had heard of Stray Kids but you weren't a proper fan. You had no idea who he was as he apologized again and again just thinking he was a cute but flustered boy. He had liked that, there was no pressure for him to be Han from SKZ he could just be Jisung and his members were just two friends laughing as he got flustered when you told him it was fine you could change when you got to work at the boutique in the mall. After convincing you to give him your number you had gone to work changing into your uniform and almost forgetting all about the incident until a text popped up reintroducing himself and asking if he could replace the shirt or at least buy you coffee.

That seemed like a lifetime ago now, you had been friends for a whole year before you could even admit to yourself that you had fallen for him and another six months before he confessed his feelings for you and you became a couple. Chan had sat down with the both of you to go over what dating as an Idol with their level of success was going to look like. No dates in the daytime only at night, no dates where anyone could recognize him, if you were out together it would be best if other members were with you, you would need to pretend to be staff if Stay started to ask questions and you could only go public with the relationship if the company allowed it. You hadn't loved the idea of sneaking around but you loved Jisung so you were willing to try and if all else failed you could hopefully go back to being friends again.

You had quickly gotten used to just having dates in the dorm, movies and take out, and visits to the company where you would either sit watching him practice or hang out in the studio with him while he wrote lyrics, composed songs and worked with his members. Han only came to your place when he was able to spend a day or two with you to limit the chances of people finding out where you live which was always special you could just kick back and relax with each other not needing to worry about anything in the outside world just the two of you in your own little bubble. But all that is peaceful cannot remain peaceful forever.

You were sitting in the studio watching them go through choreography for the upcoming world tour, it was going to be the first time you and Han were going to be separated for any real length of time and you were a little nervous about how it was going to go, for his part he had been trying to hide the tension he was feeling about it behind the stress of preparation but you knew him better than that. He had gotten clingier over the past few days asking you to be around him as much as you could and you had even taken a few days off work to do that but as you watched him practice your phone started beeping with a bunch of notifications.

"Could you put that on silent please?" their manager smiled at you not scolding you as much as asking.

"Of course I'm so sorry" you whispered, embarrassed that you had distracted everyone. Looking at your phone to silence it you saw messages from your friends and even a few from co-workers all linking an article to you, clicking it opened a gossip website with the headline 'Han Jisung dating staffer' and photos of the pair of you. In one he was only standing beside you but as you scrolled it became clear that someone had caught the pair of you.

"Fuck" you gasped almost dropping your phone when you got to a picture of him kissing your cheek and the hateful comments that accompanied the article.

"Baby? What's happened?" Han instantly appeared in front of you brow furrowed looking both concerned and confused. You handed him your phone which was still vibrating with notifications as he took it.

"Someone found out" was all you mumbled pulling your legs up to your chest and leaning your forehead on your knees. Han didn't say anything, he just handed your phone to Chan who had called a break the moment he saw you curl up on yourself.

"What's this?" he mumbled, taking the device from Han to hand it on to the manager to look at.

"I'm so sorry baby" Han whimpered, crouching down and engulfing you in a hug "But it will be fine it doesn't matter if people know about us".

"People knowing is one thing" you sniffed looking at Han with wet eyes "But the comments saying they want me to die, that I need to watch myself, that I'm just a slut who is going to ruin your career..." you trailed off the words dying in your throat as you swallowed thickly.

"They said what!" Han yelled, snatching the phone from his manager and scrolling to the bottom to look.

'It would be better if she just killed herself now, he's mine not hers'.

"Who does she think she is stealing my man like that, would be a shame if something happened to her'.

'If he leaves skz to marry her I'll find her and pour acid on her'.

"She's ugly and fat. Why would he want to be with her?'.

'This must be a joke like she could get him'.

'Bitch better hurry up and disappear before she fucks up Stray Kids'.

The comments kept flooding in, peppered with Stay defending you and wishing you well.

"We are going to have to issue a statement but I will have to speak with someone higher up first" their manager sighed softly looking saddened by what was being thrown at you.

"Don't worry we will make sure you are safe" Chan said seriously looking at you with gentle eyes as Felix sat beside you hugging both you and Han as you felt the first tear escape your eyes.

"How would they even get those photos?" Changbin asked incredulously "They are from the hallway of our dorms apartment block"

Collectively the kids decided to cut practice short and to try to help you both out, since you were trying your hardest to stop the tears flowing down your cheeks and Han was going into panic mode having not ever seen you look so shattered.

"How about we all go back to our dorm?" Minho suggested "we can sit down, have dinner and give everyone some time to figure out what we are doing" . His voice was soothing as he spoke, making you feel the icy fingers squeezing your heart stop clenching quite so hard.

"Great idea" Chan nodded as he began packing away Han's gear for him, leaving Han to do nothing but hold you and help you to stand up for the walk to the van. You looked at the others noticing the anger and shock on their faces.

"You should be rehearsing for the tour, not concerning yourselves with me" you sniffled.

"You are one of our family, we will always look after are family first" Chan smiled encouragingly at you.

"Besides, Hannie won't be able to do anything outside of looking after you now" Changbin soothed.

Han pulled the hood of the hoodie you were wearing over your head as you left the studio as he moved you towards the garage where the vans were waiting. Chan had both his and Han's gear, Felix had taken your phone back from the manager and was trailing behind you turning off your notifications so that you wouldn't keep getting updates from friends while Hyunjin and Seungmin were talking about the best way to hide you from the world. You just stayed silent your mind spinning with how everything was about to change, you had always thought eventually when you were both ready Han would have to make it public knowledge that you were together but you had always thought that stay would be supportive they were always supportive of everything the boys did, not paying attention you stepped into the garage and slid into the van you could hear them discussing something and Han getting angry but you couldn't get out of your own head so you just waited until his arms around you again.

"I'm so sorry baby, I love you" Han whispered again and again into your hair as he held you against his chest.

You didn't speak for the entire drive back and neither did anyone else. You were wondering what his company was going to do or say, what was going to happen once someone figured out who you were and where you worked or worse where you lived. Scenarios where you had to take time off work or move kept running through your head making your anxiety spiral despite Han's constant reassurance. Pulling up to the apartment block garage there were already press waiting making Han tense up further.

"They are going to close the garage doors before we exit the van so it looks like it's empty and waiting for us to come out of the dorm. Then the driver will park us right in front of the elevator and I will get out, once the door opens the rest of you pile out and straight in. Alright?" Chan instructed his voice stern but not enough for you to think it was directed at you. Nodding you just followed their lead, the clicking of cameras and the calling of names from both reporters and fans just background noise as you were shepherded between the van and the back of the elevator with the four of them acting as a human shield for you. You didn't want to think how many times they had practiced that to perfect it in the years since they debuted but you knew that there had been several instances where at least one of them had come under attack before.

Han led you through the hallway to the dorm door with Minho leading the way as though you might somehow have forgotten all the times you had been there before. His hand was squeezing yours in reassurance and yours squeezing his in acknowledgement as no words were uttered until you were all in the dorm.

"I'll speak to our manager again. Do you want to order the food?" Chan broke the silence looking at Minho.

"I'll order food, someone order snacks too please" Minho agreed.

"On it" Felix smiled, pulling his phone out to order you all the goodies he could think of.

"I think it's best if you either delete your socials for now or don't go on your phone" Hyunjin spoke quietly to you "It will help you not be exposed to too much".

"Yeah...thanks Hyunjinnie" you swallowed your voice hoarse.

"Here let me baby" Han offered, taking your phone and frowning when he saw the sheer amount of notifications on your apps "after this is over you will probably need to set up anonymous ones".

"After this is over I might not have social media" you replied dryly.

"Management are going to put out a statement saying that the article is incorrect and that legal action will be taken against any and all netizens throwing around hateful comments" Chan huffed "I think they want to talk to Han and you about whether to confirm or deny your relationship but first they are going to try to calm the comments down".

"You mean the ones where they want me to kill myself or the ones threatening to kill me?" You snapped before instantly looking guiltily up at Chan "Sorry I didn't mean to sound like that".

"It's completely fine, none of us are going to be mad at you, you're the one getting slammed with hate comments right now" Changbin interrupted "and we have all had that happen to us we know it's awful".

You sat silently while they all discussed things Han trying to find out if people had learnt who you were from one manager, Chan looking into hotels they could put you in where you could remain anonymous, Felix and gone down to pick up the delivery of snacks, which the security in the foyer agreed to just hand into the elevator so no one actually saw him.  You knew it was too early to be thinking this deeply over things, the entertainment industry was a hive of scandal. Something would appear in another day or two that would sweep this back under the rug but until then you were left to think the worst.

"Did you want to call one of your friends to get you some clothes and things? you will need to either stay in our dorm with us then maybe a hotel for a little while" Han suggested desperately trying to get you out of your head for a moment.

"Yes, I can do that" you nodded, picking up your phone to call the one friend who knew about Han, Hari, you wandered into the kitchen to give yourself some space as you called her.

"Oh my god are you alright? where are you?" she just about shrieked when she answered.

"I'm at the dorms" you replied sullenly "I'm alright-ish I guess".

"I was so worried about you, I went to your house to see if you were there and there were people all over the place" she continued sounding worried.

"Great" you hiccuped tears falling again as you lent against the kitchen counter facing away from the guys.

"I read the article and I read the comments, they are just jealous bitches" she tried to lift your spirits a little.

"What else have you read?" you gulped back a sob threatening to erupt from your throat.

"They know your name, and where you live they are outside your apartment block waiting" she admitted you couldn't hold it anymore as the first quiet sob came out followed by another then another as you slid to the floor before Han was at your side taking your phone.

"Hari?" he asked looking at you then back to the others panicked.

"Can you bring as much stuff you think she is going to need for a week. I'll come get it from you" he asked as Minho came and helped him get you off the floor.

"I will, but you look after her, Han Jisung" she warned as she hung up.

"Here, come sit and tell us what happened" Minho softly said while Innie  went to get you something to change into.

"They know who I am, they are outside of my house" you wept feeling stupid for being so upset by this but also being so overwhelmed you couldn't hold it in.

"Right, we will need you to stay here tonight, then we will get you into a hotel for at least a week while we get this sorted out" Chan nodded, still trying to get things in order.

"I'm so sorry Chan" you hiccuped "you guys are supposed to be excited to go on tour not dealing with my messes".

"Nonsense" Seungmin butted in grinning "like Chan said you are part of the family, part of the team and besides we like you more than him anyway".

"Seung, you do not like me more than Ji" you smiled faintly "you just like my cooking more than his"

"Facts" Jeongin yelled as he walked back in with the first part of the dinner delivery. Han looked relieved as the corners of you lips curled upward as Minho started serving up the food and making sure you got the best bits of everything he had ordered

"Now eat and then get some rest while we make sure we get this dealt with as easily as we can" Minho instructed handing you some chopsticks and your food without letting you argue. You sat on the couch with your food not really wanting to eat anything with the way your stomach was spinning but you tried anyway putting a small piece of beef in your mouth and chewing slowly to look like you were eating. Han sat so close he was touching you, Chan and Minho were both flicking texts and emails off and Hyunjin was on your phone making all your profiles private before silencing the apps and uninstalling them. You were feeling less like wallowing in fears and more yourself as the boys all talked about random things like movies, anime, games and stupid edits they had seen online.

"Here baby" Han whispered, taking your chopsticks and putting them aside so he could take over feeding you.

"You do need to eat" Hyunjin smiled softly "I know how hard it is with all this poison being thrown at you but you need to keep your strength up". Nodding you opened your mouth for Han to put another bit of food in you knew Hyunjin had been through a really hard time previously so he knew and you appreciated that he was trying to help you.

"I guess we need to figure out how to get back to the dorm?" Changbin asked quietly, not wanting to make you upset again.

"I'll swap rooms with Han" Felix replied between mouthfuls.

"Huh?" you blinked brows quirked in confusion.

"You and Han can stay here tonight, I'll go back with the boys then we swap back when we figure it out".

"Thanks man" Han whispered, still looking deeply troubled by what was happening.

"Thank you Felix" you sniffed, smiling a little at him "you're too kind to me, you all are".

"Han is family, you are family" Chan soothed looking at you as you opened your mouth for another mouthful of food, but shutting it quickly as your phone rang your eyes wide until you saw Hari's name.

"Hari?" you answered, swallowing hard.

"I have a bunch of stuff for you, like your essentials and clothes, did you want me to bring it to the boys dorm? Do you want me to take it to my place for someone to pick up?" She chirped into the phone, sounding hopeful.

"Um, I don't know, can I put Ji on to decide?" you stuttered as a hand took the phone out of yours.

"Hello Hari?" Minho spoke gently to your friend as she explained she had your things but wasn't sure how to get them to you "I'll send a manager to get them so everyone remains anonymous" he typed Hari's address into his own phone and thanked her again before handing the phone back to you.

"Why don't you go wash up one of us will get you some clothes to sleep in" Chan suggested taking in your haggard looking eyes.

You nodded, standing up and wandering down the hallway towards the bedrooms as bathroom, Felix following so that he could get you some towels and show you where his room was so he could grab you a shirt to sleep in and some of his sweatpants. Handing everything to you he opened the bathroom door and left you to your own devices. The hot water on your skin felt nice to begin with but after a while was scalding your skin, but you didn't move to turn the temperature down only to slide down the tiles to cry the last of the tears you had left to shed, you were sure that the company were going to tell you to separate and that you wouldn't see Han for a long time and it was killing you to think that you might have found your one only to have him ripped away from you by a third party. You didn't hear the door open or close and you didn't really even notice that the water had stopped but you could hear the pain that laced Han's voice as he spoke to you in hushed whispers.

"Oh baby, what have you done to yourself?" he whispered, helping you from the shower and wrapping you in the fluffy towel Felix had given you. He dried your reddened skin gently hoping it would return to your normal color and not become anything worse.

"I'm sorry Ji, I'm just so scared I'll lose you" you mumbled your throat dry from your hiccupping and sobbing.

"You will never lose me baby, I love you, only you" he hushed as he dressed you in Felix's clothes not loving the sight of you in them but grateful that Felix was trying so hard to help.

"But..."You continued.

"No buts, nothing on Earth would take me from you. I am yours" he soothed wrapping his arms around you to pick you up and carry you across the hall to Felix's room before laying you down. "I'm going to let the others know you are going to bed now and I'll be back in to cuddle you" he kissed your forehead softly then softly padded from the room.

You laid still on Felix's bed, it felt weird to be in another members room and clothes but you knew that the feeling would fade once you were in his arms hoping Felix could forgive you, you decided that is this was your last night with Han you were going to have to make it count even if he said he would stay beside you. You knew that if it came down to it and it was you or his career he would pick his brothers, his family, his Stay over you and you couldn't fault him for that he had worked so hard he shouldn't have to throw it away on just one stupid girl. You were still stuck in your head when he came back, wrapping you in his arms and pulling you to him tightly.

"I know you are lost in your head but I love you" he murmured "I love you so much, I will never stop loving you".

"I love you to Ji" you whispered back through the darkness of the room.

"Whatever you need to ease your mind tonight I will do" he continued his fingers combing through your still damp hair. You laid there quietly trying to focus on the feeling of his touch letting it dim the thoughts in your head

"I don’t want this to be our last night together" your whisper cracked as you admitted your fear to him. “I don’t know what I would do without you in my life”.

"It won't be our last night baby, we will have all the nights forever" he swore “There is no one else I am ever going to want to spend my life with, only you”. Rubbing his hand up and down your arm to soothe you, you clung tightly to him knowing that if you could stay awake you would get to at least keep the memories from the next few hours for the rest of your life if he ended up being taken from you, but your eyes were growing heavy with exhaustion and it was only a matter of time before the outside world would end up deciding what the rest of your life would look like.

A/N: Thank you so much for reading this my loves, this has been sitting in my wips for ages but I finally finished it. As always my world is made brighter by your likes, reblogs and comments xx

Taglist (open): @christopher-bangnaldoskzz @armystay89 @damnyouficc @roamingpolar @tara-skyhold @bakedlilgoonie , @krishastumblernow , @mrsseals16 , @fawnpeaks @leeknowinggg @uno7 @tanzen-ist-gold

[bvtbxtch]

I Can Make You Scream | Eddie Munson

Day Three of Kinktober

Summary: Your first collaboration (a Halloween special) with one of the most popular cam boys, Eddie, leaves you breathless and waiting for the next shoot with him.

wc: ~6.7k (I got excited)

Pairings: camboy!Eddie/pornstar!Eddie x camgirl!reader

Warnings: This is literally all smut minimal plot, so 18+ MDNI!! Cam sex, blood and biting, fangs, lingerie, spitting, markup, overstimulation, not being able to cum, light bondage (restraining hands), softdom!Eddie, choking, oral (f and m receiving), overstimulation, squirting, protected p in v sex (wrap it up, folks). This is purely porn with a plot.

Shout out to my darling partner @darknesseddiem who will be posting their 15 prompts later in October. It is my honour to collab with you!

The knock at the door sent lightning bolts straight to your core. You hurry your way to the front door, ensuring to check that your makeup and hair looked perfectly effortless. You took a deep breath to exhume any last minute nerves before you opened your door. 

-

You had moved to Indianapolis from Detroit for school, but very quickly found out the hard way that college was not your thing. Now being stuck with the bill for a new apartment and no scholarships to foot the cost, you had to do what you always had thought about doing. At least now you had an excuse, right? You uploaded your ID and personal information to camwow.com, one of the most popular porn cam sites in the states. You bought yourself a new magic wand from the sex store down the road and took the plunge. Little by little, you gained a following. Money, brand deals and collaborations flooded through you. But the one rule you made for yourself, was you would only do solo work. 

Things changed when you looked at your private inbox. There sat a message that you had to look at four or five times to make sure it was real. The name “metalhead_munson” with a little blue checkmark sat bolded in your inbox, the subject stating plainly: hey :) You had heard of Eddie before, he was only one of the most famous cam workers on the site. Eddie’s message was professional - transactional almost:

I caught one of your shows the other night and was thoroughly impressed. I was going to be in the Indianapolis area on the 30th. My management is giving me a couple of days of free time and I would love to film with you. We could film on my channel and we could split profits 50/50. I would link your profile in the livestream so hopefully we can get your followers up. If you could give me the number to your agent so we can set this up, that would be great.

Cheers,

Eddie Munson.

Your heart raced as you read and reread the message. You didn’t have an agent. You barely knew what you were doing… but he was impressed? Did that mean that he was turned on? Did a huge cam star jack off to your stream? After hours of screaming into your pillow, dancing around your living room and staring at the email, you conjured up a response. 

Hello Eddie! Thank you for the compliment. It means a lot coming from such a big personality on the site like yourself. I unfortunately don’t have any agent contacts but I would love to work with you - thank you for the opportunity! I am free any time around halloween, but was planning a themed stream, if you’re interested?

You signed the message with your phone number and encouraged him to call or text you any time. You couldn’t deny that you hoped he would call. You had seen Eddie’s stream before, it often gracing the front page on camwow. The girls that he often had on his stream were beautiful, more beautiful than you, you imagined. But apparently you knew how to work your body in a way that got you some recognition. So you thought, fuck it? Why not see where this might lead. 

It was 2am when you received a call from an LA area code. You hastily picked up the phone and put on the sweetest most professional voice you could muster up.

“Hello?” You breathed.

“Hey, um is this Y/N?” The baritone rasp had your breath caught in your throat.

“Yeah, that’s me.” you let out a nervous giggle.

“Hey, It’s Eddie. I just wanted to touch base about the messages on camwow. You still up for it? I’d love to meet you.” His voice made your blood run cold. Even over the phone, the man oozed confidence and sex appeal. You couldn’t help but be intimidated. 

“Cool, yeah I would like that a lot. Umm, what did you think about the halloween theme I had thought about? If it’s stupid, we don’t have to but if you wanna I’d-”

“That’s a great idea, honey.” honey “I got a few ideas. I’ll text them to you, okay?”

“Cool, yeah. Sweet..” You were tripping over your own words, your brain short circuiting from the pet name. 

“Great, doll. Don’t be too nervous, okay? I know this is your first collaboration, but we can go slow if you want.” Although there was a lightness to his tone, you didn’t feel judged. You took a deep breath and thanked the man on the other end of the phone. You stayed frozen on the line long after he had hung up, unsure as to what had just happened. You’d see him on October 30th.

The next day Eddie had sent you four or five ideas that he had based around your halloween special. You both agreed on one and as much as the anticipation was killing you, your belly swirled with aroused excitement. You couldn’t wait for the two weeks it would take for Eddie’s arrival.

-

You swung your door open and your heart skipped a beat when you looked at the sight in front of you. There stood the man you had lost sleep over. He loomed over you in the frame of your door, but his lopsided smile eased your nerves. He donned a loose fitting white tee just sheer enough that you could see faint dark tracings of ink on his torso. His alabaster skin complimented the purple and green veins adorning his hands. The man twisted the chunky rings on his right hand. Your mouth watered thinking about where those fingers might be within the next few hours…

“You gonna let me in, or what?” His grin spread to a shit eating smile that immediately made you feel at home in your body. You gave the man a puzzled look as he shuffled past you into your space. Embellishing his canine teeth were fangs. Eddie noticed your confusion.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. They’re fake and they won’t hurt… that much” You follow him into your apartment as he takes in the sights. There was something magnetic about the mop headed man. You followed him around your puppy even though you were in your own house. You snapped out of your daze to remember you also needed to be (at least) a competent host.

“Can I get you anything to drink or anything?” you ask. He politely waved you off as he plops down on your sectional. 

“It’s a nice place you got here, doll.”

“Uh, thanks.” You awkwardly shuffled towards Eddie and sat yourself on the opposite edge of the couch. 

“So, I usually like to go over what we will and won’t do before we go get comfortable. Is that okay?” Eddie offered. There was no sense of annoyance or impatience with you. He was the perfect gentleman, which was making it harder and harder to focus on functioning like a normal human being.

“Yeah, that sounds good. I mean, I haven’t really done this before… but I guess I’m down for anything as long as we kind of chat about it first.” Eddie laughed at your bluntness. You hid your face in your hands and let out a soft giggle. You were nervous and embarrassed but not by him. Eddie rose to his feet and offered out his hands to you. You peered out of your hands and grabbed him with a curt smile. You let him pull you up and you suddenly felt breathless while he was invading your space; but it wasn’t a nervous energy. It was new and scary but you felt oddly at ease with the gorgeous stranger in front of you.

“Wanna show me to your studio?” he said with a wink and a genuine smile. You dropped your hands from his and began to walk to your room - which you had spent hours cleaning leading up to Eddie’s visit. You even went as far as getting new bedding to make your room look ‘cooler’.

You opened your door and let Eddie take in the sights. He took a few steps into your room and hovered to your small bookshelf nestled in the corner of your room. He eyed over your bed, cameras decorating different sides of the bed, their wires treading to your computer. Then his eyes softened when his eyes trailed to you, standing in the middle of your room, hands locked together in anticipation. God he couldn’t wait to devour you, but there was another foreign pang in his chest. 

“You okay? You still wanna do this, right?” Eddie stepped towards you, nervous that you were going to change your mind. 

“No! No, god no” You blurted, maybe a bit too aggressively. “I just…I just don’t know where to start.”

“Well before we turn on the camera, we should get more comfortable,” Eddie offered. You nod your head enthusiastically as the man stalks towards you, coming almost chest to chest with you.

“Can I kiss you?” His eyes looked pleading. You stared up at him with your bright eyes and he felt that pang in his chest again.

“Y-yeah.” you gasp. Eddie’s hands trailed up to your cheeks and he brought his face close to yours, giving you a split second to pull away from him if you wanted. You closed your eyes in anticipation of a forceful kiss, but you almost flinched in surprise of the man’s lips caressing yours. His lips were soft and warm, you felt like you could melt into him. His touches were careful, like he didn’t want to scare you off. You both pulled away and you couldn’t help the smile that grew across your face. You were surprised to see the same one mirrored on the brunette’s face. He cleared his throat and gestured to the bag sitting in your living room. 

“So, I uh- I brought costumes - like not crazy ones, but something just a bit different… you know, to add to these…” The man smiled and pointed to his prosthetic fangs. 

“Y-yeah, I did too, if that’s okay.”

“Sure. I’ll go to the bathroom and change, and I’ll leave you to it. Just open the door when you’re ready for me, okay, Honey?”

“Yeah, sure Eddie,” You gave Eddie a warm smile and he turned to leave you. “Um, Eddie? I uh…. I wanted to let you know that the main reason I do my cam stuff alone is because I have some performance anxiety.” You looked down at your socked feet in anticipation. You half expected Eddie to laugh and walk away; but he was suddenly back and tilting so your eyes were met with his deep brown ones.

“Doll, there’s no pressure at all. Let me make you feel good and if you come, I’ll be stoked. But if you don’t then we can stop and never talk again. Or if you just wanna stop let me know, okay?” You couldn’t sense any judgment in Eddie’s tone or his eyes. You felt dumb for blindly trusting someone you only just met in person. Eddie sauntered out of your room and gently shut the door. You turned to your closet to grab the dainty lingerie hanging neatly on the rack. You slid your jeans and tee off of your body and crumpled them into your hamper. You take off your panties and bra and quickly slide the teddy over your body. You stepped foot into your ensuite to give yourself one final look over and you couldn’t help but bite your lip in admiration. 

The soft pink lace held your tits in place, giving you a delicious cleavage. The corseted bodysuit hugged your waist perfectly, while the lace detailing let a small peak of your skin embellish the lingerie. The frilly lace straps adorn your shoulders that made you look almost virginal. Perfect. The small mesh skirt emphasized your waist. You turned to look at your ass, looking perky and perfect. You looked perfect. It was just what a vampire needed for a sacrifice.

You padded out of your ensuite to your bedroom door. You opened it and called for Eddie to join you whenever you were ready. You sat yourself at your computer and booted up camwow.com. You hated to admit, but your heart was in your chest. You shook with excitement and anticipation. You felt Eddie’s presence in the frame of your bedroom door and you turned to look at him. Your breath caught in your throat while you drank in his form.

He stood leaned tall over your doorframe. His pale skin was now on full display, highlighted by small drips of fake blood. It seemed, to your delight,  he forgot a shirt for his new costume. His toned abs framed a well trimmed treasure trail to where you wanted to see him the most. Highlighting his bulge were a pair of leather pants that caressed his curves perfectly.  His curly hair laid on his broad shoulders. He looked like an adonis. His eyes darkened as he bathed in your appearance, but his lips fell slightly open in awe. 

“Well don’t you look good enough to eat” Eddie teased as he kneels onto your bed. 

“I could say the same to you, Eddie.” your voice was saccharine sweet. Eddie couldn’t wait to hear how sweet your moans would sound…

“So, we’re all set up camera wise, if you just wanna log into your account, we’ll be good to go.” You stood up from your desk chair and Eddie’s brain short circuited. You looked delicious and he couldn’t wait to make you fall apart. He played it cool as he switched you spots and you perched on the edge of your bed. 

“So, I have some rope and stuff too… is that okay?” Eddie’s voice had become thick with lust. He could hardly contain myself. You hummed in agreement. “Oh, and… I gotta say, doll. You’re looking delectable, but there’s a big part of me that wants to rip that thing off you. You okay if I tear up that little number? I’ll buy you a new one.” His eyes turned from the screen and looked pleading, like he would die if he didn’t get the chance. Lucky for him, the thought of him ripping clothes off you went straight to your core. 

“Yeah… I’m sure we can make something work.” You giggle. Unable to control your giddy anticipation. Eddie raised slowly from the computer, and you saw the small red light appear on the cameras fixed around the bed. It was show time. 

“You tell me red light if you need me to stop, okay?” Eddie’s voice rasped, just above a whisper. “We’re gonna start and I’m gonna move a little fast. You ready?” He stood above you at the end of the bed, his chest was heaving. You could feel your heartbeat in your ears as you nodded up at him.

“Use your words, pretty girl.”

“Yes, Ed-”

“That’s sir to you, unless you want to be punished.” Eddie’s voice thickened with pure sex, making a shiver travel down your spine. 

“Yes, sir.”

Eddie leaned down by the end of the bed and grabbed two pieces of black velvet rope. Before you could compute what he had in his hands, he was climbing onto the bed on top of you, pushing you back towards your headboard. 

“Good girl. Make this easy and it won’t hurt as much. I’m hungry…” Eddie growled, his eyes fixed on you, pupils dilated like you really were his prey. He grabbed your wrists with one hand and slammed them above you onto your headboard. He tied one of the velvet ropes tightly around your wrists. You finally caught your breath and were able to comprehend what was happening. The boldness washed over you as you let go of your anxieties. You gave Eddie a devilish smirk then instantly twisted your face into one of horror.

“Please sir, don’t hurt me. I promise I’ll be good and do whatever you want.” You saw Eddie flinch at your words like they were wax burning his skin: a surprise, but a welcome and unexpected one.

“Keep your hands there and I won’t have to tie you down further then.”

“Yes, sir.”

Eddie smiled widely to reveal his fangs to the camera positioned at the side of your bed. He held his hands up to your throat and pressed down just enough to send static to your brain. You felt the cool sting of his rings that he kept on his body, but felt another surprise: adorning his pointer and middle fingers were rings that rested on his upper knuckle and formed into pointed claws. The sharpness sent another type of coolness across your skin. The glint of the metal poked into your neck and you hissed as Eddie continued to press into you. The delicious feeling of oxygen deprivation is topped only when Eddie presses his mouth to yours. You moan into him, all of your body already felt under the mop head’s control. 

Eddie’s mouth moved expertly against you, breaking the seal your mouths had to give you brief moments of breath. He pushed his tongue further into your mouth and you felt your body go numb, all feeling going to your already throbbing core. You wrestled with Eddie’s tongue in your mouth, eliciting a moan from him. You couldn’t wait to watch your recording back again and again just to hear his moan. Eddie bit down onto your lip and pulled hard. You whimpered at the sting and you tasted a metallic tang in your mouth. You went to lick your lips to rid of the small slit of blood sitting on them but Eddie grabbed your jaw and ran his tongue across your lips with a satisfied moan. Eddie looked you deep in the eyes, a silent check in, and what he saw filled him with excitement that went straight to his hardening cock. Your eyes had darkened with lust, already kiss drunk from him.

Eddied trailed his kisses from the side of your mouth to your jaw, to the pulse point by your ear. His mouth was saccharine sweet on your skin, like it belonged there. But in true Eddie fashion (as you’re learning), the sweet was often mixed with heat. You were just melting into his touch when Eddie took a hard bite down on your neck, eliciting a yelp of pain from you. You could feel two small streams of cool liquid trickle down your neck. You began to hyperventilate from overwhelm. Eddie softly grabbed your cheek for you to lock eyes with him.

“Relax angel, the hard part is over. You’re doing so well for me, I gotta be good to my girl… especially…” Eddie leans down to your neck and takes a long swipe up the side of your neck. “When you taste so good” The man’s smile was now tinged with the red of your blood. The lust had finally taken over your body and you happily submitted. You pulled Eddie’s mouth to yours feverishly. You pushed your tongue into his mouth. Your sweet mouth was now tainted with your own metallic taste. When Eddie pulled away, you both looked in satisfaction at your matching stained lips. It took Eddie a moment to compose himself and remember he had a scene to shoot. He sat himself up on his calves and ran his clawed fingers across your collarbone with enough pressure to send a constellation of goosebumps to form across your skin.

“I think we should get this off of you, so I can see you better.” Eddie groaned as he traced his fingers between the valley of your lace-covered breasts. You looked at him dough eyed and scared, but there was a glimmer of lust and wanting in your eyes. You really were going to drive Eddie insane. 

With a quick flick of his wrist, and added pressure to (what he was beginning to think was) your offending garment, to rip down the middle of your torso to your belly button, exposing your hardening nipples. You let out a gasp, the lines of fear and lust blurring further. Eddie’s mouth was immediately on your sensitive skin, his mouth danced across your left nipple while his hand pinched your right. You were barely cognisant of the small bead of blood still dripping down your torso. Eddie kissed his way down your stomach to the meeting of where your body was bare and clothed. He sat back up in fake disdain. 

“Now, this won’t do. I gotta taste that pretty pussy after your sweet blood. You need a reward, and I need my dessert” 

“Please Ed-”

“Ah, ah ah….” Eddie interrupted. His hands hovered over your hips. You were desperate for him to touch you, little did you know, Eddie was desperate to drop this facade and feel you clench around him.

“Please, sir. Touch me, please.” You whined. Eddie was happy to oblige you. He let a low chuckle escape his chest. 

“Since you asked so sweetly, and since I can see that you have already wet through these little panties you got on, I need to taste you.” Eddie took his claws and hooked the mesh covering your pubic bone and dragged down. Once he had a big enough hole he removed his clawed rings and tore the whole crotch of your lingerie. The cool air hitting your core made you shiver. You were suddenly more self conscious than you were before. You instantly remembered that you were on display not only for Eddie but for thousands of people. Almost immediately, Eddie looked up from between your thighs.

“Hey” he whispered quietly enough that cameras couldn’t pick his rasp up. “It’s just you and me, okay?” You gave him a small nod to keep going. 

Eddie quickly turned his gaze back to your glistening core. He pressed a smaller, gentler bite into the flesh of your thigh, eliciting a moan that was music to Eddie’s ears. He liked the mix of pleasure and pain, but hearing your gasps of pure ecstasy was something he definitely thought he could get used to… but he couldn’t think about that right now - wanting to spend more time with you. It was time to use you like a plaything. Plus, how did he know that you would ever want to see him again. 

He shook his head to physically shake the idea from his mind and ran his middle finger through the middle of your slit, which made you a moaning mess for him yet again. Eddie turned himself to the camera and held up his hands with your slick on it. 

“Look at how messy she is for me.” he popped his finger into his mouth and sucked down “mmmm, and so sweet too.” he cooed. He ran two of his fingers back into your folds and stuck them deep into your mouth. You moaned at your own taste, spurring Eddie on further. 

“Oh, my little dinner date is a slut, eh? I guess that means we should treat you like the succubus you are.” Eddie’s words went straight to your core and you clenched on nothing. Eddie let out a low chuckle into the apex of your thigh, sending shivers up your spine in anticipation. You silently begged for him to touch you where you wanted him the most. Your hips bucked in a last ditch plea for relief - and Eddie luckily gave it to you. 

With little warning, Eddie’s mouth attached to your clit and sucked hard. Eddie’s mouth worked expertly at your core, his tongue probing you in ways you didn’t know were possible. You were almost embarrassed, you were a moaning mess underneath him; but you felt too good to care. Your vision was going fuzzy and your chest heaving. You couldn’t help the elicit moans escaping you. You couldn’t help but make eye contact with the camera and you couldn’t help but let a smile escape you.

Your smile was wiped from your cocky face when Eddie stuck his tongue deep in you. Your eyes crossed and your breath hitched. It felt like you were being suffocated with pleasure. Your tied hands flew to Eddie���s hair and you pulled hard, desperate for something to ground you. Eddie moaned into your pussy and you could feel your finish rapidly approaching. You made the mistake of looking down at the mess of hair between your legs and the sight you saw flew you over the edge. The slender hips that sprawled across your bed were rutting into your mattress, his back heaving in desperation. Your blood ran white hot, stars flashed over your vision. A euphoric groan was ripped from your chest. Eddie’s assault didn’t let up once the waves of pleasure became overwhelming. Eddie moaned into your cunt as he tasted your essence. You shuddered under him as you pulled up on his hair, in an attempt to seize his raid on your body. 

“Awww, was that too much for my little plaything?” Eddie growled. His hand flew up to your neck as he crawled his way back up your body. The pressure he squeezed onto you made another flutter flow directly to your lower stomach. Eddie had a talent of pushing you dangerously close to the edge of unconsciousness - a sense of bliss and fear all in one. Your fucked out face looked delicious to Eddie, still stained red with your blood. He leaned down and smashed his mouth into yours. You could taste the remnants of your orgasm and his desperation forcing its way into your mouth. You pulled away with a gasp and looked up at Eddie with your best puppy dog eyes. 

“Can I taste you now, please? Please sir?” you croaked. Eddie could come in his pants right now. He took a gulp and sent you an ear splitting, fanged smile. Willing away his urge to cum in his pants, he took some deep breaths while he undid his tight pleather pants and shimmied them down his lithe waist. His hard cock sprung free and Eddie let out an audible sigh of the relief it brought him. Your hands automatically drifted towards the man’s waist a mere inches away from you.You felt a sting against your wrists as Eddie slammed them back against your wall. You felt your shoulders scream at you from their sudden hyperextension. Eddie barked a dark laugh as you pouted. 

“Play things don’t get to touch. They get to be used.” Eddie ordered. He reached his free hand to tilt your neck backwards to give him purchase for another love bite. You cried out as hot blood trailed back down your clavicle. Eddie pulled away and his face looked similar to yours: your own crimson blood dripping down his chest. 

“Open.” He demanded. Your bottom lip quivered but you obey the man over you. You stick your tongue out. Eddie places his reddened cock onto the flat of your tongue in a hiss of pleasure. His tip felt heavy on your tongue; a salty sweetness that you were instantly addicted to. He was thick, his length equally impressive, and an anxious excitement panged in your throat thinking about how he was going to fit. Eddie slowly slid himself further into your mouth. He ignored your silent pleas to let you adjust to him in your mouth and continued to push into you until your nose was nestled against his manicured bundle of hair at the base of his cock. Your eyes pricked with tears and your throat closed around Eddie’s cock - eliciting a low groan from him. You are granted a brief moment of relief when Eddie slid his cock back out of your mouth, only for your deep gasp of air to be interrupted by him slamming back into your mouth, making you gag and making his dick twitch. Suddenly, Eddie grabbed the camera on the closest tripod and pointed it down at your face. 

“Look at this good girl… taking me so well.” The camera framed (what Eddie thought was) your perfect face, suctioned around Eddie’s cock. He stilled inside you, giving you an opportunity to suck hard and swirl your tongue around his tip. His precum dripped down your throat. Tears freely flowed down your cheeks. Your throat was screaming at you, your nostrils flared in desperation for air. Your throat constricted and relaxed around your scene partner.

You were in pain, his cock stretching your mouth to the absolute breaking point. You looked up and into the man’s gorgeous brown eyes in search for any more praise - begging for any movement, pleading for some sort of release. As much as your body was screaming at you, you had given yourself over to absolute pleasure. You loved the pain, the submission. In that moment, you knew you would do anything for Eddie - anything he asked any time. In that moment, there was a deeper connection than just two people fucking. You were his and he knew it. He could do anything with you, but he wanted to worship you just as much as you were worshiping him. He fastened the camera back onto the tripod, unsheathed himself from you and flopped onto his back beside you.

“Come on then, doll. Show me how much you want me.” Before Eddie’s words could leave his mouth, you were back on him, but you took it slow this time. Your doe eyes had darkened and you were ready to show him just how much you wanted him.

Your tongue ran up the underside of his achingly hard cock. Eddie hissed out praise as you wrapped your lips around Eddie’s tip and hollowed your cheeks. You hummed in satisfaction against him as you bobbed your head. Every suck, every kitten lick, you poured your heart into. You were hypnotized, obsessed, by the moans and praises escaping the head of curls on your bed. You thought he looked like a painting; ringlet curls splayed across your pillows like a crown, flexed biceps framing his face like a beautiful frame, his shirtless torso mimicked that of a marble statue. His abs flexed a contoured trail down to his member, his alabaster skin strewn with black markings. The finishing detail of this piece of art was the blood - your blood stained on his chin and neck. It was like your own signature on this masterpiece.

You were snapped out of your trance by two large hands cupping the sides of your face. His cool rings were like small slaps to your face. 

“As much as I want you to taste me, doll, I need to cum in that pussy. I need to mark you as my own.” Eddie untied your wrists and pulled you up so you were face to face and on top of him.

“I just got to get a condom” he whispered in your ear, ensuring the camera couldn’t pick up your conversation.

“Don’t. I got birth control” you purred, you kissed the sides of his mouth down to his neck.

“A-are you sure, doll? I mean I’m clean but I don’t want you to feel obliged.”

“Eddi- I mean - sir, I want you to cum inside me please. Make me yours.” You knew you were playing a role. This was all for show, but some of it felt real. There was truth in the words you spoke to him. You wanted to be his fully. 

Eddie slid himself up your headboard and he pulled your thighs up towards him so you were straddled on top of him.

“Okay, doll. Show me how well you ride that cock and you won’t get another bite tonight.” Eddie challenged. You agreed, it would be a challenge. Eddie was the largest guy you have ever been with. The wave of intimidation and nervousness flowed through you again. You felt a tight squeeze on your hips and Eddie’s eyes prodded for your gaze. When his golden brown irises met your glowing green ones, he gave you a reassuring nod. It was just the two of you.

You lowered yourself onto Eddie’s cock, slowly sheathing him inside you. You couldn’t control your eyes rolling to the back of your head. You felt deliciously full and you had only lowered yourself halfway. You could tell Eddie was concentrating on keeping his cool. His brows were furrowed and his tongue peeked through his blood stained lips. Beads of sweat were beginning to form under his curly bangs. Eddie peered up at you and immediately lost his composure. His grip became bruising on your hips and he slammed your body into his, pulling moans from both of you. 

Your eyes screwed shut in a mix of pleasure and pain. Your mouth hung open in a crooked smile. Your chest heaved, Eddie was worried your lungs were going to burst out of your chest. The shards of your lingerie dangled behind you like angel wings. An angel you were. Eddie had never felt this way about one of his conquests before. His heart was racing because of the thought of the money he was going to make from this gig, but he now felt another infatuation with you.

“Show me how you ride a cock, babe. Take that cock.” he cooed. You ground down on him, the friction of his base on your clit sent tingles all across your body. Eddie squeezed harder on your hips to ground himself. It was now his turn to be self conscious. He was going to bust way quicker than he wanted to if he didn’t find something to calm him down. He couldn’t look at you - his eyes insisting on staying screwed shut. He helped guide your hips up and down on his cock. 

“Fuck, sweetheart. You’re taking me so well. Squeezing me so tight… f-fuuuck it’s like your pussy was made for my cock, eh?” his assault of praises went straight to your core and yet again you felt yourself teetering closer and closer to the edge. Eddie’s name was like a hymn, you couldn’t say anything other than ‘Eddie’ and ‘please’. A satisfied smile ripped across Eddie’s face. His fangs glinted underneath you. The man snaked his dexterous fingers to where your bodies met. A few expert circles around your sensitive clit had you seeing stars again. You clenched down on Eddie’s cock, hurling Eddie dangerously close to his own release as well, but he wasn’t done with you. He guided your hips to grind down to guide you through your orgasm. 

Before you have time to come down from your high, Eddie flipped you over so he was looming over you.

“You have one more for me don’t you, pretty girl?”

“E-Edd, Sir I… I don’t think I can.” Eddie could look at your fucked out frown all day. Little did you know, he was studying every detail of your face so he could remember it later.

“Well sure you can. You’re gonna show me right now.” Eddie’s voice was more soothing than before. His face had softened slightly and his eyes were bright. He pulled your left thigh above his shoulder to assault your pussy at a deeper angle. Eddie’s rhythm was relentless and quick. Your sensitive pussy was quivering already, and had little to no time to recover from your previous orgasm.

“E-Eddie oh my god.” The angle of his cock hitting your g spot repeatedly had a whirlpool of pleasure and pain brewing in your core. You felt like you were going to float away. Eddie pulled himself out of you, making you whine from the emptiness. His cock was quickly replaced with his fingers and your legs dropped around Eddie’s waist. He angled his middle and pointer finger expertly inside you. If you thought his cock was relentless, Eddie’s fingers were just as, if not faster. The palm of his hand rubbed against your clit and you screamed out in overstimulation. You didn’t know if you wanted the assault to stop or to go harder. 

The wind was knocked from your chest as Eddie’s other hand pushed down on your pubic bone. With a yelp, you felt a white hot flash like you had never felt before. Your body shook and it felt like molten lava was coursing through your veins. 

“Fuck yeah, baby! That’s it, fucking good girl.” Eddie’s excitement was palpable. He stuck his cock back into you to feel you contract and flutter around him. Just your comedown was enough to make Eddie cum inside you. He pumped cautiously, cumming hard but using the shred of control he had to make sure he didn’t hurt you. He pulled out slowly, and leaned forward to give you a tender kiss on the forehead. Soon he collapsed beside you, both of you a mess of heavy breathing, your release, and his. 

Eddie guided you to sit up in front of a camera.

“Show them your neck, doll. Show them how good you did for me.” You craned your neck to the side, turning your face towards Eddie’s. The man reached out and cupped your cheek. You couldn’t help but melt into his touch. He then stood up for your computer and ended your stream.

“Sorry… I, I’ve never done that in my life…” your cheeks flourish in a red blush as you begin to explain to the man standing in front of you, pants now lazily covering his softening erection.

“Doll, I know you didn’t mean to. I wanted you to do that for me. It was fucking hot” Eddie reached for your hands and helped you up. You fell against his chest, your legs too weak to fully hold you up.

“Invoice me for some new sheets, okay?” Eddie winked at you. “Come on, let’s get you in the shower and let’s clean up.” 

You grabbed clean towels for the both of you as Eddie warmed the water to the shower. You sheepishly climbed in and waited for him to join you. You thought the man would fuck you, get up and then leave with as little as a ‘see you’... or a ‘you’re welcome’. But he stayed, and seemed like he genuinely wanted to stay. He helped wash you off, the warm water washing away any insecurities you felt after your shoot. You both talked about how much you enjoyed yourselves and how well you did for your first partner scene.

“I can’t lie champ, I’m pretty impressed.” Eddie poked at you while you both sat on your couch, pizza on the way, a blanket enveloping both of you in more warmth.”Sorry about your neck, though.” Eddie nervously chuckled and ran his hands through his damp curls. You grabbed Eddie’s hand and redirected his energy to you.

“Eddie. I liked it. I would have told you if I didn't, I promise. It was honestly the best sex I’ve had.” You admitted with a small blush highlighting your cheeks. To your surprise, Eddie’s face was redder than yours. 

“Can I ask you something kind of insane?” Eddie asked.

“What’s up, Eddie?”

“Can I kiss you? Like actually kiss you?” His eyes were pleading, he was already starved of your lips on his. He wanted to show you how much he liked being around you, even if you had only been together a half a day. You nodded slowly, a shy smile reaching your lips, but adoration in your eyes. 

Eddie’s lips were soft and gentle against yours. He didn’t want to scare you off by being too forceful. His mouth melded to yours like he was the only person you were meant to kiss. His arm wrapped around your waist and pulled you in close. His hand migrated up your face to softly cup your cheek. Time had slowed down and the only thing that mattered was the boy you were attached to; once a stranger, to someone you didn’t want to be without within the span of a few hours. 

“So, I can only extend my stay in town for a couple of days.” Eddie whispered after (begrudgingly) pulling his mouth from yours. “Can I take you out tomorrow?”

“Yeah, Eddie. I would like that… as long as you leave the fangs in your suitcase next time.”

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[it-was-summer]

Video Killed the Radio Star - Tape #4 (Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader)

A/N: Y'all this chapter took so long to write. This is NOT proofread once again me and Grammarly were beefing because she doesn't understand fanfiction. Nonetheless, it is 12 am MST and here it is. Now for an overall warning, this chapter talks about so much that I was to let everyone know that I meant for this to be a dark series. That was my goal. I'm so sorry if some of these topics seem like they're too heavy for you. If you feel overwhelmed, disgusted, or just find it hard to read please remember that it is okay and you are loved. This chapter mentions miscarriages, eating disorders, gunshot wounds, suicide, etc. I love you all and stay healthy. I will try to post my 500 followers post soon! Not proofread because eepy. YOU'LL read my chapter unedited and you'll like it! (hopefully). Thanks for reading. -Love you all, Em.

Video Killed the Radio Star Remake Masterlist

Link to the Ao3: Video Killed the Radio Star

Previous Chapter: Tape #3 > Next Chapter: Coming Soon...

WARNING: miscarriage, eating disorder, catholic guilt, bisexuality mention??, period underwear, stalking, marital problem, divorce, sexual harassment, guns, knives, gunshot wound, This bitch shoots someone, suicide, mention of a skull, blood so much blood.

Tape Contents: We briefly dive into Heather's past. Adeline makes a call that gives the team a reason to visit the suburbs. Heather makes a decision. You see something other than pink for the first time in four days.

Word Count: 6,296

Seven to Four Years Prior- January 10, 20XX

Heather had to get out of Norfolk. She felt suffocated under her father’s watchful gaze and helicopter ways. He was a hard man to love and hard to be around in general. When he drank, she used to pray that he would forget about her, so she became quiet. She didn’t have many friends here anyway, so she took you out of the equation and knew no one else would know her name. 

So, with a heavy heart, she moved her life away to Richmond. She changed her major to nursing and killed that quiet girl from Norfolk. She fabricated real lies that sometimes she couldn’t separate from reality. She stared at girls silently with longing and played it off as admiration if she was ever caught. Catholic guilt stopped it from growing into anything else. 

She was slow to open up about her feelings and showed people an extroverted sorority girl nursing graduate who liked to go to bars on the weekend and let men’s hands pull at her hips desperately in dark corners. 

Now, at twenty-four, she only thought about one thing: how good her stomach looked in this dress. She had thinned out tremendously since the move. At first, it started due to not having enough money to eat anywhere except the shitty university cafeteria. Then, it warped into something else. During its worst moments, she would log her calories or purge food moments after eating it. She could look into mirrors afterward and feel she was achieving something remarkable. Then, sometimes, she would also look at her face and think, ‘Is that what I look like’? 

But tonight, she wanted to do something different, something fun. Having told her sorority sisters this, they all jumped on board quickly, agreeing to meet at the bar around 10 p.m. that Saturday. They were thirty minutes late. 

Heather was gently fiddling with the hem of her short black dress, her eyes flickering towards the entrance every so often as she waited for them to walk in. This year, she wanted to be happier, less suffering in silence, and a little more smiley. So yes, she wanted to have fun with people she called friends. Despite all her efforts, she was sure they could see right through her sometimes. She swallowed nervously as she nursed a margarita. 

The next time she looked at her phone, she saw texts from her former sisters saying that work had been hectic and that they needed to reschedule for another time. So now, Heather Alexander was right back at square one: alone. She glanced down at her dress and frowned slightly at its tight material. It was the kind of dress that made her uncomfortable but made men comfortable. Something always felt wrong with that. Heather always secretly knew that she felt an attraction to women and men, but she always felt guilty at the thought. 

She sighed as she debated her next move when she saw him. He was the prettiest man she had ever seen. He had soft masculine features that almost looked slightly feminine, a uniform clad against his chest, and a charming boyish smile as their eyes met. Heather whispered a silent prayer that he would like her as he approached her and introduced himself as David Hernandez. How could she not fall for him instantly? Deep brown eyes, pink lips, dark skin, and a low rumble in his voice made her feel like giggling. 

It wasn’t long before the two of them were getting married. They spent a few months together in domestic bliss. He got some time off from work, and she kept her last name, and they were… happy. 

At least they were happy for six months, and then her world shattered around her as David was deployed to England. She cried herself to sleep the night she heard, and David stroked her back softly to calm her. Heather didn’t want him to leave her and see someone better overseas. She was sure that women would throw themselves at David’s feet, begging him to kiss them, touch them, fuck them, like whores in the street of Babylon. She couldn’t stand the thought of anyone else touching him, looking at him the way she looked at him, talking to him the way she did in his ear late at night. She begged him to try and find some way out of it, scared to lose what was rightfully hers, but he couldn’t. He left that week.

At first, it was just six months, but then it stretched out into a year of deployment—a year spent being faithful to a man across the Atlantic. She called him when she had time, wrote letters to him, sent him emails, and constantly contacted him in any way she could. 

When he got home, it was clear that all her efforts had gone to waste. David was distant. He would sulk in corners of their home on his phone. He would lament on and on about how England felt like his home and how he missed it. She couldn’t stand it. This house they bought together was his home, and it always had been. Why was he struggling to see that? 

The more he talked of his deployment, the more Heather became frustrated with him. Then he started to go out more. At first, it was just to speak with some Army friends on base a few spread-out weekends in the month. Then it was every weekend. 

Heather found that the only thing that could keep him home was sex. So they had sex constantly, like animals in heat. Disgusting and rutting against each other any moment they could. However, the second that it was over, he would withdraw again. He would get dressed and say he had to get to the base. 

Then he was coming late, drunk and slurring, as he pulled her to the edge of the bed and woke her up with sensual touches and dirty talk. She took this as a good sign he was coming home to his wife. He was fucking her and no one else. But slowly, he stopped coming home. He would call her late at night to tell her he would stay with a friend for the night. The following day, he would come home smelling sweet. 

Heather felt lost, searching desperately for something to save her marriage. She was devoting all of her love to a man who no longer wanted it, and she could feel him falling out of love with her. 

Her saving grace was the morning that she found out she was pregnant. She called David with tears in her eyes and told him softly over the phone, and she heard him laugh for the first time in months. And just like that, he was back. 

His soft touches, kisses in the grocery store, and dancing with her in the living room were all back. Her devoted and dotting husband had returned home to her. She could feel the dark cloud of the past couple of months dissipate and the sun shining on her. 

That light lasted a good three months. Heather sat up straight as pain coursed through her body, thundering in her abdomen as she shook David awake with tears streaming down her face. Something was wrong with the baby; she knew it. He drove her to the hospital as fast as he could, but it was too late. She had already miscarried.

Heather took a small sabbatical from work and took time to think about her life. She would stare out of their living room window blankly for hours. David was attentive at first, coming home after work and tending to Heather’s broken spirit. But he soon became bored of that routine. 

When Heather returned to the pediatric oncology unit, David was notified that he was being deployed again to Okinawa, Japan. He was packed and ready by the end of that month. She didn’t see him off at the airport, picking up an extra shift at the hospital to distract her from the fact that he was leaving her again. 

David called her two months into his leave to tell her he wasn’t happy. He wanted a divorce. Then he hung up before she could get a word in. That’s when it all started. Her obsession with consuming anything romantic was almost debilitating. She would visit bookstores and attend readings at the public library, sometimes calling off from work to sit at home with her romances. That’s when she saw you again. She thought that you would have stayed in Norfolk. You had once told her that you loved the water. You liked how it could look gloomy and promising on different days, with mist rolling off the surface. 

She tried not to talk to you. She did. She didn’t want to scare you away like she scared David away. No, no, no, she was sure it would all work out this time. So she loved you from a comfortable distance, watching you from her car on the weekends at night, leaving you her gifts on your windshield—a silent courting. 

She couldn’t help herself on Valentine’s Day. She had slipped into Nicole Smith’s room without Adeline recognizing her, and she gave the table with Adeline’s purse on it a gentle knock with her hip. Heather apologized quickly, telling her not to worry. She promptly dropped to the floor to gather the spilled contents from Adeline’s bag, and she slipped a labeled key connected to a keychain that read ‘or die’ into her pocket. Once she had copied the key, she quickly returned the original to its owner. 

She felt electric when she entered your apartment on Valentine's Day in a dark outfit, a hood covering her face, and four dozen rose petals in a container. She breathed in your perfume as she perused through your bathroom. She traced the spine of every book she could touch on your shelves. She gently dove into your dirty hamper and quickly pulled out a pair of dirty underwear, blood on the inside of them as she shamelessly slipped them into her pocket. Then she got to work spreading the petals throughout your apartment. By the end, she stared at her work, panting lightly as she lay across on your rose-covered bed. 

She had to have you. 

Present Day- March 5, 20XX

Derek and Spencer managed to get to the public library an hour before closing. They pulled your coworker, Valerie, aside. She was a pretty brunette, glasses resting on her face delicately as she stared at the two men with a soft look of disappointment. She knew that if they were here, they had yet to find you, and the thought made her feel like breaking down in a fit of tears. She fought the urge to cry as Derek asked her a question, sliding a copy of the Polaroid you had received on your windshield. “Do you happen to remember anyone coming in with a Polaroid camera?” 

Valerie stared at the Polaroid with a soft frown, trying to remember something helpful. Spencer spoke quickly, “Sometime around January fourteenth, maybe?”

Valerie chewed on her bottom lip before the memory washed over her, “Yes! Yes, oh gosh, she was blonde, I think. I remember telling her we didn’t like flash photography in the library. I only saw the back of her head, but I remember the back of her head and the flash of a camera.” 

Spencer tilted his head slightly and nodded at Valerie’s words, processing the information silently.“Are you sure it was a woman?” Spencer asked softly before Valarie enthusiastically nodded. 

“Yes, it was definitely a woman who took the picture.” She confirmed in a soft voice before she looked down at the Polaroid with a gentle tenderness in her eyes. “She baked me cookies last week, you know?” She looked up at the two men with a sad smile and tears in her eyes. “My cat is sick, and she made me cookies to make me feel better.” She laughed sadly as the tears started to fall. 

Derek placed a soft hand over Valerie’s and gave her a tender look, “We’re looking for her,” The words caused a shaky sigh to escape Valarie’s lips as she pulled her hand away quickly and stood up. 

Her cheeks were red as she cried out a soft “Excuse me.” before she turned on her heel and hurriedly left the room. 

Spencer picked up the picture and stared at you in the photo. The way your hair shined in the fluorescent light, your eyes and smile trained directly on the person you were talking to. You were personable, and the thought made his stomach turn. He looked over at Derek as Spencer handed the photo back to him. 

The two men walked out of the library silently, and Derek let out a soft sigh as he watched the sun starting to settle against the horizon. Spencer walked beside him with his hand stuffed in his pockets, and his head hung a little low in thought. 

Derek broke the silence first, “We should get back to the station to see if JJ and Rossi have anything,” 

And then they rode back in contemplative silence after that. 

March 6, 20XX

You weren’t sure if it was day or night anymore. All you knew was that you were starting to feel uneven. Every creak of wood, settling of pipes, and rumble of the house had your back straightening against the bed. You were sure that Heather would fly in at any moment and touch you. 

A million options weighed heavy in your mind at the scenario; you could fight back again, but that would get you sliced again or worse. You could go with it, zone out as much as possible, let her have her way with you. That option made your head spin with nausea. You had to find a way to get out. 

You licked at the gash on your lip, gently exploring the cut with your tongue until you could feel the warmth of blood again. You pushed your tongue back into your mouth and looked over at your day-old apple on the nightstand, half-eaten and brown. You tenderly took a small bite that wouldn’t require you to move your lips too much. 

You didn’t have much of the day-old meal left; a half-full water and this apple was all you had. You chewed softly, fighting off the nausea that threatened to creep in due to the morphine. 

You tried to remember anything that could be helpful to you. It was hard to think of high doses of morphine. You had played with the knob often; when you were ready to sleep, it would go up, and when you were up, it would turn down. But lately, you just wanted it to be turned up. 

You tried to think of when Heather came into the pink room. She always stuffed her keys into her pockets. A plan was in the making: Get her out of her clothes, and you could get the keys. 

You nodded a little despite your discomfort with the idea of her touching you again. You just had to seduce her a little, which should be easy considering that she was ‘in love’ with you. The only problem with that plan was that you had a mangled ankle and a body running on morphine; she didn’t. Heather’s temper was quick when you talked back, and rage followed if you did something against her liking. 

Maybe begging would work. No, you tried that already. Why would begging work? Perhaps you could hurt yourself just enough to force her to take you to the hospital. But that didn’t work either; she was a nurse. She wouldn’t incriminate herself like that, would she? Maybe total submission would be the key. 

Convince her that you love her back and somehow ask to be let out with her supervision, but that could take forever. 

You started to cry softly as you set down the core of the apple and laid down, wishing to pull your legs to your chest, but the pain of one ankle and the chain around the other made that physically impossible. 

You cried until you felt your eyelids become heavy, tears still slipping out of your eyes as you fell into a morphine-induced sleep. 

March 6, 20XX

JJ paced back and forth in front of the bulletin board, occasionally flicking her eyes over to the photos pinned to it as she tried to chase what was likely to be a loose end. The number that had called yours and left a message full of sobs had been a burner. 

Spencer had tried to tell her to eat something this morning, but as the clock’s hands crept towards nine a.m., she still didn’t feel hungry enough to try. She sighed out another frustrated huff as Emily appeared in front of her. “If you sigh like that one more time, I think I might have to force a croissant down your throat.” 

JJ gave her another dramatic sigh before she put her hands on her hips: “I’m sorry, I just feel like we have no leads. We know it's a woman, but Adeline isn’t likely to be the unsub, and all her coworkers have alibis. It just feels like we are running around with our heads cut off.” 

Emily smiled and gave her a gentle nod of understanding, “I get it, but you pacing around like this isn’t helping anyone. Let’s get you a drink, coffee, or maybe something to eat.” 

“People who eat breakfast consistently are twenty-five percent likely to be more productive at work,” Spencer spoke up from a desk not too far from the two women. 

Emily pointed over at Spencer, “See? You’re making Spencer freak out.” 

“I’m not freaked out,” Spencer frowned at the comment before looking back at a file on the desk. 

JJ’s smile was slow as she let her hands fall to her side and let out a soft, “Fine.” She agreed as Emily walked over to the precinct's breakroom, JJ following her. 

Derek was clicking a pen obnoxiously in an off-beat rhythm. He was about to say something when his phone started to ring on his desk. He didn’t recognize the number, but he answered it anyway. “Hello?” 

“Hi, uhm, is this Special Agent Morgan?” Adeline’s voice was shaky through the phone. 

Derek relaxed slightly as he set down his pen. “Yeah, Adeline. Did something happen?” He couldn’t think of another reason as to why she would call the number he had left with her if nothing happened. He was too focused on the case to think of any other reason anyway. 

“Yeah, maybe? I was talking to one of the nurses about something today, and I recognized one of them. I don’t know how I didn’t see it sooner, but it was an old friend from college. She was more Y/N’s friend than mine, but I talked to her a little.” Adeline’s voice dropped to a whisper as she continued, “I mentioned that she was missing, and Heather had a weird reaction. She smiled for a second. I swear, she said she was sad to hear that, but she looked… well, for a second, it just seemed like maybe she was happy.” 

Derek picked the pen back up again, ready to write down a name. It wasn’t much, but they could visit her. “What was her name again?” 

“Gosh, it was Heather something… Heather, Heather, Heather,” She bit her lip as she tried to think back. “Alexander! Heather Alexander.” 

Derek wrote it down and muttered quickly, “We'll look into it, thanks.” As a goodbye, he let Adeline quickly thank him over the phone before he hung up and called Penelope. 

Penelope, quick as always, picked up on the first ring. “Center of divine intellect,” was her greeting. 

“Good morning to you, too, baby girl. Listen, could you get Heather Alexander's address? Adeline Smith called saying that she had a strange reaction to hearing about our girl going missing.” 

“Easy,” was her answer before Derek could hear the sounds of keys being tapped against and a soft humming sound emitting from Penelope’s lips as she pulled up the address: “4432 Lake Margaret Pl., Chesterfield, Virginia.” 

“You are an angel, Garcia.” 

“I always aim to please,” 

“And you never fail, baby girl.” 

JJ had begged Derek with her eyes to let her go with Spencer. It was just an interview, not even an interrogation, just to see if the connection between you and Heather went deeper than old college friends. So why shouldn’t she go? 

Derek wasn’t one to put up a big fight, so he let her with Spencer. It was only thirty minutes away anyway, so if they needed the team it wouldn’t take too long for them to show up, right? He stayed behind on the phone with Garcia, who was doing her best to see if Heather had any criminal history on her record. 

As the car rolled around the cul de sac, Spencer’s eyes struggled to look away from the plethora of plants in the fenced-in front yard. Pink anemones were scattered amongst daffodils, and what looked like daisies were blooming side by side. JJ rolled the car to a stop, parking it against the curb. 

“Pretty yard,” She muttered as she took the keys out of the ignition. Spencer nodded a little; he had to admit that Spring came in a close second to Fall as the superior season in his mind. The flowers growing after frozen earth had kept them dormant, the welcomed feeling of the sun getting slightly warmer. It was still somewhat chilly at ten in the morning as he stepped out of the car with JJ, but he had to admit, it was shaping up to be a beautiful day weather-wise. 

His head tilted back a little as he stole a glance at the blue sky above them and smiled before stuffing his hands into his pockets and tilting his head toward the house. JJ smiled and walked beside him, happy to be out of the precinct and in the early morning air.

Heather was washing the paring knife she had used on you in her kitchen sink, facing a large bay window in her living room. She swiped at the hardened blood and frowned a little at the memory. Why was she so upset with you? She could hardly remember herself when she got angry like that. 

It was almost fitting, her flying off the handle over something so simple as you not being ready for her love. Was she no better than a man? Had she gotten so accustomed to men's vile and sharp ways that she had somehow forgotten how to be gentle? 

She felt her hands shake as a voice came into her head, whispering her worst fear: She was worse than her father. 

She let tears blur her vision at the thought as she rubbed the knife harder with a sponge, shaking her head quickly. No, no, no, no. She was not like that man. She was not cold like that man. She was lovable. She felt love. She felt overwhelming love for you. She had felt overwhelming love for David. 

Her downward spiral was cut short as she lifted her weeping head and saw a black SUV parked in front of her yard. She quickly wiped away a stray tear with the back of her hand and sniffled lightly as she gently slid the knife into the dishwasher, watching two people get out of the van. 

Heather’s eyes were glued to the blonde at first, pretty and fair in the morning sun before her eyes flickered to the man beside her. She recognized him immediately. She was sure it was the same man she almost ran into at the hospital yesterday. 

She dried her hands as she walked around the kitchen island. As they got closer, her head arched to see how close they were. Panic was running through her veins. Her gun was in her room upstairs, loaded. She just had to get upstairs; her feet were quick to try and run upstairs and stash it somewhere close before they could ring the doorbell. Just as the idea seemed plausible enough, the bell rang through the house. 

Heather let out a silent scream of panic as she smoothed out her shirt, fixed her hair, and caught a quick glance of her pretty face in the mirror near the front door before she swung it open with a pleasantly fake smile on her face. Her eyes quickly scanned both of their faces as she smiled. “Can I help you?”

“Yes, hi. My name is Jennifer Jareau. This is Spencer Reid. We’re with the FBI, and we were just wondering if we could ask you some questions.” JJ spoke clearly as she flashed her badge at Heather, a slight smile on her lips as she looked into Heather’s eyes. Spencer recognized her, finding it strange that he had almost run directly into the beautiful woman at the hospital just the day before. 

Heather laughed softly and nodded as she stepped aside, opening the door wider to let the two agents inside. “Of course,” Her hands were shaking, but she gripped the edge of the door tightly, half tempted to slam it directly in their faces and go upstairs to shoot Catherine and herself to freedom.  

They weren’t on to her yet; she was sure of that– especially given their lack of people– just two against one. She was quick to shut the door behind them before leading the two of them into her living room. “Can I get you two any water? I have some juice.” 

The two agents shook their heads in a polite ‘no, thank you’ way as they sat on the sofa across from Heather. Heather sat on a chair with a soft “Okay” as she eyed them carefully. “Am I in some kind of trouble here?” 

“No, We just wanted to ask you a few questions regarding an old college friend of yours, Y/N L/N.” 

“Well,” She smoothed out her long skirt slowly, remembering to breathe normally, “What about her?” 

“Had you been in contact with her at all? Did she mention anything about someone following her?” 

Heather let out a gentle laugh as she shook her head, “I haven’t really had the time to reach out to old friends lately,” 

Spencer’s interest peaked as he joined the conversation, “How come?” 

Heather’s gaze became a little pointed at the question. Of course, the man has to ask her, “I lost a baby recently, and my husband was deployed soon after, so forgive me for not becoming pen pals with someone I knew at eighteen.” The words were direct and vicious, but she couldn’t help herself. She blew out a soft sigh before she let out a gentle and timid, “I’m sorry,” 

Spencer licked his lips nervously as he leaned back against the sofa slightly, trying to resist the urge to disappear into it. Self-isolation wasn’t uncommon for women who had recently suffered from a miscarriage. That feeling more than likely increased as her support system was ripped away from her. 

JJ gently touched Spencer’s knee before she cut the tension. “I’m sorry to hear that, Mrs. Alexander. We’re just trying to piece some information together.” 

Heather ran a hand through her hair before she gave JJ a tight-lipped smile. “I understand that; I’m sorry. Would it be alright if I ran upstairs for some medicine? I feel a headache coming on.” She spoke fast with a tense voice, trying her hardest to pass it off as pain with a rub of her temple. When JJ nodded, she stood up and headed upstairs as calmly as she could manage. 

JJ looked over at Spencer, watching Heather walk away carefully. “She seems angrier with men than anything.” Her voice was slightly amused before Spencer frowned. 

“Doesn’t mean she’s in the clear; stalking is often a form of intense infatuation, but it's also used as a way to control something. She’s struggling with two things that could be our stressors: she’s craving control or dependency. She-” The soft ringing of his phone cut off his whispered rant. He answered it, happy that at least it was just Garcia calling, hoping for a better lead than his ongoing hunch. 

He stood and looked at JJ, who was mouthing for him to go outside, “Hey,” He answered as he slipped out of the front door. 

“Hey, nothing is coming up anywhere on Heather’s record for criminal activity—sorority sister, wife, nurse, clean as a whistle. However, considering we don’t have much right now, I decided to see if she had any warnings at work.” 

“Right,” Spencer looked over his shoulder at the front door as he walked away to stand in front of the garage. 

“Well, last month, she got a write-up for stealing some morphine; her supervisor forced her to go see a therapist after Heather said that she was using it for some leftover pain she was experiencing after her miscarriage. But Heather never showed,” 

Spencer was walking a little further down the driveway as he listened to Garcia talk on the phone, counting the number of windows in the house. His eyes narrowed slightly to try and block out the sun before he looked away. He licked his bottom lip gently before acting on his little hunch, “Could you check her credit report? See if there are any purchases that you can find that seem odd around March third?” 

“Could I check her credit report,” Garcia repeated with a laugh, “Hold on, boy genius.” 

Spencer could see the top of JJ’s head from the bay window, and he turned away slightly, finding ease in the fact that she was still there. Something felt off, and he couldn’t put his finger on it. “She went to the store, but nothing crazy. Bought,” He could hear typing, “Bleach and rubbing alcohol.” 

Spencer chewed on the inside of his cheek as he asked, “When was her husband deployed again? Did she buy anything from a florist around Valentine’s Day?” 

“Husband was deployed December first and,” she hummed gently before she sighed, “Bought some flowers on Valentine’s day, rose petals.” 

Spencer felt that feeling when something connected in his brain, a rush of adrenaline as he felt his hunch slowly turn into a plausible accusation. The roses were just that, roses. But the bleach and rubbing alcohol? That’s a recipe for chloroform right there. And finally, Heather’s husband was deployed at the beginning of December, stressor number two. It made him feel slightly hopeful about walking back into the house. “Thanks, Garcia.” He said as his feet reached the end of the driveway. He hung up the phone, walking back towards the house at a fast pace when the familiar and startling 'crack' of a gun reached his ears. 

His hands drew his gun out of the holster, running back towards the house. He pushed the front door open with his foot as he heard the thumping of footsteps running on the stairs. He rounded the corner to the living room before lowering his gun as he saw JJ bleeding from a bullet wound in her thigh. 

“JJ!” His voice panicked as he reached her groaning side, kneeling low to the ground next to her. “What happened?” 

JJ shook her head quickly, “I’m calling for backup. She ran upstairs. She didn’t even try to,” her eyes squeezed shut tightly as a sharp pain rattled through her inner thigh, “Just go!” She urged him as she reached down for the phone in her back pocket, her free hand pressing on her gushing wound to try and slow the bleeding. 

Spencer’s eyes were filled with uncertainty as he let out a soft, “No, I’ll stay here until everyone gets-” 

“Spencer, go!” 

Spencer felt his spine straighten at the second command. He gave her a grim nod as he stood up, readied his gun, and started for the stairs. His footsteps were soft and calculated as he ascended, pink light flooding the floor as he approached the top of the stairs. He could hear gentle begging in a voice too soft and thick to be Heather’s. 

“Please, Heather, please, my love. Don’t, please don’t.” Repetitive cries for mercy made his legs move faster until he approached an opened door. The regular-looking bedroom door gave way to a steel one just behind it before revealing the scene of what looked like a demented love nest. 

Spencer swallowed a lump in his throat as he took in the scene. Gun pointed carefully at Heather as he spoke, “Heather, put down the gun. You love her. You don’t want to hurt her. You know that.” 

Heather jumped a little at the sound, her pistol clicking softly as her sweaty palms tightened their grip. She was quick to turn her body around to face him with the gun aimed directly at him as she spoke. “Don’t pretend like you know me or her. You don’t know our relationship. She wants this just as much as I do.” 

“You know she doesn’t look at her. Look at what you’re doing to her.” 

Heather’s eyes drifted to you, chained to the bed, watching as you hyperventilate softly. Heather felt her bottom lip quiver before she looked back at Spencer. “She’s just scared. You’re making me do this. She knows you’re making me do this.” 

Spencer’s eyes drifted to your crying form on the bed, trying to keep your sobs quiet as you stared at him with wild eyes. He glanced over at the morphine drip next to your bed before his eyes settled back on Heather. His lips parted to say something more, but she cut him off quickly, “Put your gun down, and I won’t do it.” 

Heather’s body language gives her away as she motions for him to put his gun down, her eyes crazed and large, her hands shaking and rigid against her pistol. “I’m not going to-” 

“Put your fucking, gun down, or she dies,” Heather yells so loud that it elicits a soft sob from your lips, your arms coming up to protect your head, ready for the shot to be administered and for your brains to be blown out in front of Spencer in that very moment. 

Spencer holds up both of his hands at that; he swears he can hear the soft sounds of sirens in the distance as he lowers his gun to the floor slowly, his foot gently kicking the gun away with a soft ‘clack.’

“Now you,” his calm voice says as he raises his hands, inching closer. Tears stream down Heather’s face now as she shakes her head gently. 

“I have to,” Is her tear-soaked reply as she keeps the barrel pointed at Spencer’s head, her fingers twitching lightly as they move for the trigger. Your shaking voice cuts through the scene, and Spencer is pretty sure it’s the only thing that is stopping him from diving for his gun a few feet from him. 

“Heather, baby,” Your voice betrays you as you speak the pet name, coming off a little too forced, but you continue anyway. “He can help. You don’t have to hurt anyone else. We can be happy, and we can get away. He can help, right?” Your arms relax around your head slowly as you look over at Spencer, who nods silently. 

“I can, but you have got to put your gun down.” 

Heather chokes out a strangled sob as she looks over at you, watching as you smile at her. You know it’s forced, but Heather can only view it as the prettiest thing she’s ever seen—a great parting gift. 

She feels spit thick on her tongue as she evaluates her options: kill Spencer and go to jail. Kill you, and she might not have enough time to kill herself. Killing herself seems like the best plan out of the three, so she holds her gun steady at Spencer as she looks at your now bleeding smile. 

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.” Her voice is soft, almost so human that you feel your heart clench in pity before that clenching feeling turns into pure anxiety as you see the movement of her arm. Spencer’s feet aren't quick enough for him to tackle her to the ground as Heather raises the gun to her temple and pulls the trigger. 

Her body drops to the edge of the bed, sliding down it as you feel blood coat your legs. Your ears are ringing, and your mouth is wide open as you scream. At least you think you’re screaming. You can’t hear much but a pathetic muffle of the sound as the ringing in your ears increases.

Your hands are quick to try and wipe off chunks of what looks to be part of a skull off of your exposed stomach, and you can’t seem to stop staring at Heather’s limp body at the edge of the bed. The image of her mangled head oozing blood has you gagging softly, feeling yourself getting ready to be sick before you feel two hands cup your face. 

You’re screaming or sobbing; you can’t tell anymore as Spencer Reid’s face blocks the view. He keeps your face steady in his hands as you try to read his lips, your breathing heavy as he strokes your hair gently. His voice creeps in through the ringing until you eventually hear the soft repetition of, “I got you, look at me. Just keep looking at me; you’re safe.”

You feel your breathing slow, your arms reaching up to grab him before your eyes roll back as your body slumps against Spencer’s, and everything is engulfed in black.

Tag List: @dollykisses4reid @babyspiderling @cocobean16 @kodzukenie333 @mmmunson

[lexirosewrites]

I keep trying to send you something for SS but it keeps getting reformatted and an error comes up. I'll try to send in multiple parts.

I'm sorry that this took so long to answer, but I was trying to find the best way to post your submission because all three posts came in formatted a bit wonkily and I wanted to make sure everyone could read the full story properly, so I put them all here as text in order to make it easier to follow! Hopefully that works easier than linking all three posts together💛

⬇️ NSFW steddie ficlet below

PART 1

Here's a little something for Slick Sunday O!S A!E: Steve hasn't gotten off in a while. It's not for lack of desire, he's been woefully single but honestly too busy to do much about it. The issue really has been he hasn't really felt like getting off solo. The few times he's tried lately, mostly when he's in bed for the night, didn't really go anywhere. He'd take his cock in his hand, dip his fingers in his pussy for some slick as lube, determined to rub one out but after a few minutes his erection would flag and he'd just give up and go to sleep.

Until today, where he's finally horny enough that he's SURE he could get off, and he wants to SO badly. unfortunately he's currently at work and he can't go anywhere because it's a busy day, he's by himself and has to man the register.

And technically he needs to walk around and organize things but he's staying put behind the register because he's hard as rock, and his boxers are slick soaked.

He's so embarrassed and he glances at the clock willing the customers to leave. He's panicking during transactions sure they all smell his desire, and even if they can he knows it's socially impolite to point it out. He hopes his blockers are doing a good enough job he needs to switch them out soon.

PART 2

Finally the store is empty and Steve is about to turn the sign so he can go on his lunch break, finally, and speed on home for a change of underwear and quick crank.

But the front door makes a little digital bells sound, indicating someone else has arrived. nononono go away GO away GO AWAY!!!!!!

Steve glances up to see it's Eddie and he's half relieved and half nervous. Relieved since it's Eddie, whom he’s been crushing on for quite a while, and nervous because he's SURE he won't be able to leave anytime soon since Eddie tends to stick around when he comes to visit Steve at work. He's sure to want Steve to walk around with him and Steve really wouldn't be able to hide behind the counter anymore.

"Hiya Steeeevie! You guys get any new worthwhile flicks?"

"Uh maybe. Check the new releases."

"Haha well yeah I'm going to, just wanted to know if you have any recommendations!"

"Nothing comes to mind, sorry."

"You're sweating, somethings up with you. You alright?"

"Fine, uh. I'm fine AC's been on the fritz. I'll go check the thermostat in the back."

"Ah that sucks. I'll go with you, see if I can tinker with the unit and get it working better!"

"There's no need. someone will come tomorrow."

"Good :Eddie sniffs the air: oh wow. it smells SO nice in here today."

ohcrapohnomyblockersarewornout!

"Oh uh..."

"Wait, it's. It's you. You smell great Steve, wow. I don't usually smell you."

"My uh, blockers must need to be switched out, thanks for letting me know. I'll go in the back real quick and do that" It's a plausible excuse but embarrassing enough he won't be followed.

Steve starts toward the back room determined to reapply his blocker patch and will his erection to flag before he has to face Eddie, again.

"Oh! I'll just wait out here you go replace your patch and I'll get out of your hair soon I promised Wayne a movie night."

Steve, not knowing what to say, rushes into the back.

PART 3

"Go down, go down. please. Eddie's right outside"

Oh Eddie's right outside?

It's like his cock is mocking him the way it does a desperate little twitch at the thought of Eddie standing outside the door. Beautiful, Eddie with his soft doe eyes, and his cropped top, showing off the trail to what is probably a huge alpha co— Now's not the time for horny thoughts!

"Uh Steve? you alright in there? you've been in there for a little bit?"

What if Eddie was waiting outside the door and thinks he's rubbing one out in here?

Oh no! oh no!

If anything it just makes Steve gush even more.

Imagines Eddie asking if he needs a hand—

"Fine!!! I'm fine!"

But the door handle is turning, and Steve curses the lack of locks.

Steve automatically turns around to wave him off.

They meet eyes and Steve can tell the moment Eddie sees his bulge because Eddie stops short and his eyes bug a bit, and he instinctively sniffs the air around him(This is it! this is when Steve finally dies of embarrassment, he just knows it!!!)

"Oh man you're soaked. Do you have a change of clothes in the car, I could get for you?"

"I don't, l used them when we decided to go swimming last week. I'm just going to go, uh die of embarrassment be right back."

"Don't be embarrassed, you don't need to be. I shouldn't have come in without knocking. I've been there before, pent up and no way to get rid of it, l once popped a boner in the middle of a grocery store. I was terrified the staff would think I was into cauliflower. "

Steve can't help but scoff a little laugh at Eddie's nervous ramblings.

"Cauliflower huh? Would have taken you for more of a cucumber man"

SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP

"Well yeah I guess don't want to be too predictable, and that's just low hanging fruit, well, vegetable really. Uh Why am I still standing here? You're sweating so bad, you smell fantastic wow. I'm just putting my foot in my mouth here."

Steve stares at him blushing "You think I smell good?" he giddily asks.

"You smell fucking amazing. And just look at you. You're packing some serious heat there, huh? Um, not to be too forward but wouldyoulikesomehelpwiththatSteve?"

Steve nervously smiles and asks for clarification "slow down a bit. what did you say?" please be what I thought you said!!!!

Eddie gulps but steps forward into Steve's space.

Gulps and takes a deep breath through his nose, his pupils dilating. "I said, would you like some help with that,omega??"

Steve gulps and feels himself start to gush even more, slick trailing down the inside of his thighs, Eddie seems to notice the way he glances down hungrily.

"PLEASE! :Steve clears his throat: I mean. Yes! I would. I really would. Let me lock the front door."

[ninakoll]

some of you might remember the court case led by the human rights centre in my country from december - long story short, my wife along with 4 other protesters were arrested at a demonstration in solidarity with Palestine for the phrase "from the river to the sea." it is a peaceful call for an end to the ongoing occupation, but the cops decided it was a call for violence. court is expensive and the case unfortunately is not over yet.

❣️ here is a link to the estonian human rights centre and their fundraisers!! ❣️ they also are currently helping a refugee trans woman reunite with her partner who is seeking asylum from estonia (the country rejected granting her asylum initially bc they're not married, ignoring the fact gay marriage isn't even possible in russia), so any kind of donation or share would be of a lot of help to the organization and everyone they support.

to personally help out, i'm offering pay-what-you-want commissions for the time being; 🩹 so if you donate at the link (after choosing the sum you can skip the isikukood part, it's for estonian residents id number to get tax reduction!) just let me know. visa/mastercard works, as well as basic EE banks of course!

you can just send me a screenshot that you've donated and let me know how much - anything above 2 EUR - and write to me what/who you'd like me to draw. if you donate over 10 dollars/euros i'll do something fancyful best to my abilities and try to match the amount donated..!!! you can send me a screenshot here thru tumblr or over email: katarina.skott@gmail.com. and please don't hesitate to ask if you're unsure about anything.

👇👇👇 more details on the case so far below!! 👇👇👇

the lowest court level ended up rejecting the protesters' plead of not guilty after extensive hearings, so the organization is taking the case a step further, to the highest court in estonia. what's more hopeful about the case this time around is that it's the supreme court of estonia and they hold legitimate power to change the laws! which would mean, if they look at this case they would hopefully ultimately end up changing the laws concerning freedom of speech, as currently it is a very messily worded law that basically gives the police too much freedom to arrest people, based completely on personal judgment and held biases. dangerous police state stuff. the supreme court is also more likely to handle this case professionally as the previous court level mostly handles divorce + work disputes...

personally... let me tell you, it's so difficult to watch court hearings where everyone is deliberately obtuse and bullying your wife relentlessly about pointless shit like geography and telling them snidely to try slogans like "I'M WORRIED" at protests in the future instead, as to not stir trouble lol. dude, children are dying out there. acab. i'm also very haunted by the casual racism on such a high state level. it's been a whirlwind of exhaustion all while trying our best to stay active and fight for palestinians rights to just exist as well. sooo fucked up our country is like this. trying my best to stay hopeful about the future. immensely grateful to the human rights centre for their love and support through it all and the important work they do every day.

thanks for reading this long text, my inbox is open if you have any questions! thank you all so much for the support!! ;_;

[cartmankisser]

I GOT YOU FAM!

I'd love a Wally fluff alphabet, please! 🥰

omg ur amazing for linking it. creds for the prompts are linked in pink text of the request!! :)

if you haven’t seen, i ran a poll on my account for what type of personality wally should have and the option that won was, and i quote, “normal wally but… just a little messed up and obsessive.”

so i guess this is like?? mildly yandere wally? haha i’m not sure.. he slowly gets slightly more deranged as this goes on,,

using the small font because these always turn out really long 😭

Activities - “What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?”

— wally isn’t too picky when it comes to hanging out. he’d honestly be content just sitting in silence with you!

in such a small neighborhood, everything is just a few minutes away! it’s not uncommon for you two to take walks around the neighborhood, maybe stopping at howdys shop for snacks before spending the afternoon sitting in a flower-filled field with books and arts and crafts material.

maybe you two could teach each other little crafts you’ve learned over the years!! friendship bracelets, origami, crochet, whatever!!

Beauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

— you’re just such a great friend to him! so caring and kind to him… he always feels calm whenever you’re around, just because of how loving you are!!

most of his uncertainties or insecurities just vanishes whenever he’s with you.. no one else ever could ever make him feel so special! it’s amazing!!!!

Comfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc?

— wally has a hard time picking up on your feelings if you don’t straight up tell him that you’re upset. however, if you’re ever crying or upset, he’d try his best to comfort you!

his go-to comfort methods are usually things that make him happy or calm him down. something like singing a song that barnaby has sung to him before or drawing happy memories to distract you from whatever is making you upset!

he tends to explain to you that he would never make you feel as bad as you do right now. he’s the only one here to comfort you! no one else cares that you’re upset, but he does!! because he loves you!!! :)

Dreams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

— wally dreams of a calm, domestic future with you! he loves his neighborhood and home very dearly, and i don’t see him wanting to move anytime soon (he has no reason to!), but he really can’t wait for you to permanently move in with him! sure, he keeps you at his house for as long as you’re willing to stay, but you still leave him at the end of the day!!!!

home is one of his friends too, and he would never abandon a friend! so hopefully you can get used to living inside of a sentient house.. (no matter how much home scares you)

other than that though, i don’t see him wanting to change too much? you two are already so happy together, so why would anything need to change? all you really need is eachother anyways!!!!

Equal - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

— i think that he thinks you two are equal. i mean, he tries to listen to you, but sometimes you just need his help!!! he believes that a relationship should be built on respect and understanding! dont you respect him? :(

you really should just trust him and know that what he does for you is for the best. he’s not trying to scare or control you or anything!! he’s just trying to keep you safe and happy with him!!! that’s all!!!! :)))

Fight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

— while he might be quick to forgive you, he doesn't easily forget the actions that led to the conflict. he prefers to work through disagreements for a compromise, that way you both can continue to be happy together!! albeit, he tends to be a bit patronizing and condescending when you two disagree on something,,,

he doesn’t get mad at you very often though. i can see him being awfully patient with you when it comes to misunderstandings and such. he knows you don’t mean to be rude about it!! you just need him to explain to you why he’s right!!!

Gratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

— he’s very grateful for you!! he enjoys the admiration, love, and support you show him, and he makes sure to show his appreciation and love back through small gestures, like surprising you with treats or leaving little notes around your house when he visits! that way, you’re always thinking about how much he loves and appreciates you!

Honesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

— wally values honesty in the relationship and doesn’t feel the need to keep secrets from you unless they would hurt you. and he knows you wouldn’t dare keep anything from him. not if you truly loved him, that is..

he doesn’t really understand secrets that much anyways.. everyone in the neighborhood is such good friends, why would they need to hide anything? (aka, wally unintentionally talks shit and causes drama /hj)

Inspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

— you’ve definitely inspired him to try out new mediums and techniques in his art. i mean, he usually just paints and draws things he likes! and there’s nothing wrong with that, but recently he’s been trying new things!

with you around to help, he’s rarely hit any creative blocks. you’ve shown him how to connect his emotions to his paintings. and now he knows even more ways to make art that is more than just color on paper!!! truly amazing :)!!

Jealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

— wally is quite possessive and can get jealous easily. he deals with it by keeping a close eye on you, and if he perceives any threat to his relationship, he will go to great lengths to eliminate that threat.

he would never destroy something that means a lot to you, but of course, he has to make sure he means the most to you!!! after everything he does for you, how could you not love him more than anything else!?! :)

Kiss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

— i love him a lot okay? but he is definitely not a good kisser. he’s never loved anyone like he’s loved you, so he’s just… inexperienced?

i feel like the first kiss would be awkward and tense, as he was nervous and unsure of how you would react to his feelings, but it was still very passionate and meaningful! sometimes you just take his breath away and leave him speechless, but actions speak more than words, right? @:))))

Love Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

— he would confess his love in a very straightforward and direct manner. he would likely sit you down and tell you about how he couldn't imagine his life without you, and that hes willing to do anything to make you happy!!!

he was confident and direct with his confession because he was sure that he had you wrapped around his finger. before he confessed to you, he made sure to be open enough that you’d enjoy talking to him, but mysterious enough that you’d surely be thinking about him all day, wanting to hear more from him.

Marriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

— he does want to get married, and he would propose in a grand, romantic way!! he would likely plan an elaborate surprise, such as a candlelit dinner or a sweet picnic in a meadow, and then get down on one knee to ask you to marry him!! he would make sure the moment was so special that there was no chance that you could reject him!

the marriage itself would be pretty traditional, with wally insisting on taking care of all the arrangements and ensuring that everything was perfect for you.

Nicknames - What do they call their s/o?

— i feel like he would call you things such as "my love" or "my darling," and he would use petnames often to remind you how much he adores you!

he has a habit of calling you a handful of different petnames, but always adding “my“ to the beginning of it. you’re his sweetheart!!!! his love!!!!! no one else’s!!!!!!

On Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

— when wally falls in love, he becomes completely devoted to you. his feelings are somewhat obvious to others, as he can become a bit possessive and jealous when others try to get too close to you, even though he tries to hide those feelings in front of others.

he expresses his love through attention and gifts, showering his significant other with affection and making sure they know how much they truly mean to him!!!!

PDA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

— he’s pretty upfront about his relationship and is not afraid to show affection in public. he enjoys making others aware of you two and he takes pride in displaying his love for you!!!!

he’s not the type to like??? shove his tongue down your throat in public 😭 but i mean small things like holding your hand and keeping you close to him when you two are out together!!

Quirk - Some random ability they have that's beneficial in a relationship.

— wally has a photographic memory, which makes him incredibly attentive to your wants and desires. he never forgets important dates or details, and always makes sure to surprise you with things that make you happy!!

he knows what size clothes you wear and what scent perfume you use. he always picks up your favorite snacks before you come over and he makes sure to use your favorite colors a lot when he makes paintings for you!!!

Romance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

— i feel like he’d be pretty romantic!! and he loves to make grand gestures to make you feel special!! i like to think he’s somewhat creative in his approach and he enjoys surprising you with things you never expected.

he will go to great lengths to make you happy, even if it means doing something cliché like writing love letters or preparing a candlelit dinner. however, his possessiveness can sometimes lead to darker and more dangerous displays of love, such as stalking or isolating you from others.

Support - Are they helping their s/o achieve their? Do they believe in them?

— wally sees himself as your personal cheerleader and will do anything to help you achieve your dreams. however, his version of support can be a little intense as sometimes he tends to control your choices to ensure your success. he believes in you so much that he'll go to extreme measures to make sure you reach your full potential.

i feel like he would also be sure to tell you that you two achieved the victory together and that you wouldn’t have gotten to where you are without him!! he doesn’t mean it in a rude way!!!!! he just wants you to thank him sometimes!!!!!

Thrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

— i think that he wouldn’t mind trying out new things with you sometimes, but only if it's on his terms! he has a certain routine that he likes to follow, and deviation from it can trigger his possessive behavior a bit...

he's very particular about what he considers "spicing things up" and can tend to be a bit controlling when it comes to decision-making. he just wants to make sure you stay nice and safe!!! he makes sure to take good care of his belongings! :)

Understanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

— he believes that he knows you better than anyone else, and as such, he can be highly empathetic when it suits him... however, he's also prone to getting lost in his own delusions and can struggle to see things from your perspective when he feels threatened.

mostly though, he tends to be more sympathetic and pitiful instead of empathetic whenever you’re upset.

Value - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

— the relationship is everything to him!!! and he's not afraid to make that known! he has a bad habit of seeing you as his property and will stop at nothing to keep you by his side. in his eyes, the relationship is worth more than anything else in his life, and he'll do whatever it takes to protect it!!! you truly mean everything him, and he’s not afraid to give everything else up for you!!!! :)

Wild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

— wally loves to pamper you with expensive gifts and lavish attention. he believes that he deserves your love and affection in return for the gifts and he sees them as a way of showing you how much he cares!

XOXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

— he is extremely affectionate and loves to shower you with cuddles and affection. however, sometimes it tends to turn into a bit of possessive behavior if he feels like someone else is encroaching on your time together.

Yearning - How will they cope when they're missing their partner?

— whenever he’s missing you, i feel like he copes by somewhat obsessing over you... he'll stare over old photos and drawings, collecting small things you might’ve left at his house, overanalyzing them until he can almost feel your presence.

he also might engage in stalkerish behavior,,, staring at your house through his window.. maybe even walking to your place to peek through the windows if he thinks he can get away with it.

Zeal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

— he’s willing to go to great lengths for the relationship, even if it might seem hurtful from your perspective... he tends to see himself as your companion and protector and will stop at nothing to keep you safe, even if it means resorting to things you might not like. his zeal can quickly turn dangerous if he feels that you’re in danger.

[concerningwolves]

Hey! Do you have any tips for breaking writers block when you're adhd and/or autistic? Be it your own tips or a link to another post? My friend and I need help haha

Ahh sorry you got buried under spam and old ask game asks. (I... really need to sort my ask box >.<' ). But here we go, a month late, and hopefully better late than never:

Quick ideas for beating writer's block when autistic and/or ADHD

I've got this old post I wrote on writer's block and focus troubles. Ironically, this was before my autism diagnosis but the tips still happen to be things I, an autistic person, did to manage writing when faced with executive dysfunction (except I didn't know what executive dysfunction was at that point lol). I'm linking this with one important caveat, though: if you have ADHD, "stepping away" might do more harm than good; struggling to start tasks is a Big Thing with ADHD, so not starting the task at all is entirely counterproductive. (Unless you're in burnout! Here's a post about the differences between block and burnout with some ideas on what to do for each, in case that's at all helpful to you).

And here's something yoinked from another old ask-answer:

sometimes a break from more “serious” writing is what you need. Maybe try and take the characters from your main project and drop them somewhere else for the hell of it. I like to throw my characters into the MCU without warning like “lmao have fun in a strange modern world where there are gods and a guy in an iron flying suit bye.” Or, if fandom cross-overs aren’t your thing, find a writing prompt or take an idea you like and use it to form a short story with your characters instead.

Some other ideas I've seen around for writer's block with ADHD/Autism are:

Try voice recording or text to speech (i.e., absolute stream-of-consciousness unfiltered brain-to-mouth, giving yourself permission to 100% bullshit if you like, and see what rattles loose in the brain box)

Stream of consciousness writing in general, not even necessarily about a particular prompt or particular project. This one can be done in combination with:

Writing sprints! One minute timers, two minute timers, five minutes – set it for as long as you want, but when you're fighting executive dysfunction and/or difficulty focusing, the burst of urgency that comes from a shorter timer is very helpful.

And speaking of the sense of urgency: gamify your writing! There are different ways to do this, with varying elements of risk. I'll link some ways to do this at the end under "resources".

Exercise. I don't necessarily mean hitting the gym, but a quick burst of exercise prior to writing to get the heart rate up can help wake your brain up a bit. (Or, if you find repetitive exercise mind-numbingly boring like I do, the writing sure does start to look appealing lol).

Meditation. Okay, this one is sort of 🤔 for me, because I do often hear from fellow autistics and our ADHD cousins that meditation is literally impossible for us. It is for me. But! Like with exercise above, if meditation bores you instead of helping relax and ""clear your mind"", you can probably use that boredom to your advantage. Or, it might work as intended.

Change your workspace/situation/routine. Sometimes the problem is that you need new sensory input, or that your brain has gotten thoroughly bored and decided not to tell you. Use a different chair. Move to the kitchen table. Write at a different time of day. Have a different snack (or try having a snack while writing...). Basically, look at what you're currently trying, and see how you can do it differently.

It's also really good practise to get comfortable with Being Bad At Writing. Perfectionism and Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria are the biggest, meanest brain weasels with the sharpest teeth. Don't let them bully you. It sucks. It takes a lot of time and effort and internal work, which is why I was loathe to include this on a post of quick solutions, but. It is important.

And getting comfortable with this doesn't necessarily mean learning how to accept critique, or accepting that sometimes you'll write things that suck. It means accepting that sometimes you won't handle critique or feedback well, and also accepting that you won't always manage to beat the writer's block or be productive. Sometimes you have to make peace with the fact that you're going to feel horrible, feel your feelings, and try to remind yourself on the other side that none of it means you're a talentless hack.

Resources

Anything with a 🪙 next to it is paid only (I've tried to limit these and find alternatives).

The resources are split into things that "gameify" writing (i.e., hack your dopamine/serotonin in ways that reaaaaallly help autistic and ADHD folks), writing programs that are designed to help you focus, writing programs that track your habits and appeal to the "ohhhh numbers going up" brain, focus-aiding apps, and some miscellaneous stuff. Under the cut to save your dashes.

"Gamifying" your writing:

The Most Dangerous Writing App – You can't stop typing before your set timer runs out, or you risk losing your work. Excellent for warming up, stream-of-consciousness, or if you're feeling reckless, working on your actual project. I did a lot of the second draft of When Dealing with Wolves on this thing (it was terrifying yet highly effective).

Written? Kitten! – Get rewarded for meeting your set writing wordcount with kitten pictures. Haven't used this one personally, but heard wonderful things about it.

4TheWords 🪙 – This one gamifies writing in the most literal sense. As in, it's an online game where you defeat monsters, explore and level up by writing words. I did the free trial a couple years back, and I've heard there are a lot of different ways you can lower the subscription cost. The only reason I haven't gone back to it is because I feel like I can't justify spending money on it when I'm doing fine with Scrivener and free resources, but maybe one day I will purely for the fun factor...

StimuWrite – similar idea to Written Kitten; the app provides visual/audio stimulation while you write, which is great for many ADHD-ers and autistics. There's a progress bar, soundscape options, typing effects and emoji reactions as rewards, among other features.

Write or Die – This is The Most Dangerous Writing App meets Written Kitten. As far as I can figure out, the basic web version is free to use; you can set the parameters like how how long you want to write for, how many words to reach, and whether you want rewards for meeting goals or punishments for failing to meet them. There's also a stimulus mode, where the nice auditory stimulus goes away if you stop writing.

Minimalist/Focus writing programs:

Focus Writer [Windows] – thoroughly stripped-down minimalist word processor. As far as I know, it has basic functions like find-replace, but mostly it's designed only for writing. Not for formatting, spellchecking or editing.

iA Writer 🪙 [iOS] – Similar to Focus Writer, it's designed to fill your screen with a simple workspace. Allows you to use markdown formatting, and has a feature called Focus Mode that blurs out everything except the sentence you're typing. (If I could find a Windows-friendly alternative to this with that same feature I would be so happy). A cheaper alternative is 1Writer, but that doesn't have the focus mode.

Typewrite Something – Absolutely bare minimum web-based typewriter simulator. Basically just a blank screen that you start typing on, and the words appear in a typewriter font. Great for stream-of-consciousness without the risk level of TMDWA because you can't backspace. If you don't like the clacky sound, turn off your volume.

Focus Apps

Cold Turkey – Block applications and websites on your laptop/computer for a specified period of time. You can even block the entire internet.

Forest – Similar to Cold Turkey in that it stops you from seeking distractions or getting distracted. Set a timer and the app starts growing a tree. If you leave the app, the tree dies. Once you have a tree, you add it to your forest.

Habit-building writing programs:

Novlr – Simple, minimal layout, and tracks your writing goals per month and day, and your daily streak. There are more features in the plus and pro versions, and you can only have five projects in the free version, but otherwise it looks like a good free alternative to the next two programs:

750 Words 🪙 – Made for free writing, but also very useful for drafting. I had it for a month or so a while back on the free trial. It tracks writing streaks and gives you fun graphs and statistics at the end of each session, including number of distractions, actual typing time vs total time and average words per minute. Also, it analyses the mood of what you wrote, which I always found delightful.

Writing Analytics 🪙 – If writing streaks, badges and analytical graphs get your dopamine going, then I really recommend this one. The writing screen itself is very minimalistic, but it still shows your writing speed (I loved watching that go up) and your goal progress. In terms of analytics, it tracks a LOT of different things, including time spent writing vs revising, average wordcounts per day/month/year, and words written vs words deleted. I used this for about a year before I switched to Scrivener, and the switch was purely because I needed something that wasn't subscription-based. (Apparently since I stopped using it there's also a new feature that lets you create private writing rooms and see other writer's progress).

Misc.

WriteTrack – Not a word processor, but it has very good tools for tracking and planning your writing. Again, if graphs going up helps your brain, this is excellent, but you can't see it in real time.

10 ADHD-friendly brain tricks for writers – what it says on the tin: ten tips for writers with ADHD; I'm particularly fond of "Put away one knife", which breaks the nebulous task of "start writing" into something really simple like just... pull out your desk chair.

[araekniarchive]

i'm moving!

hi all :)) it's been a little while since i've been very active on this blog, and whilst a good chunk of that is chronic illness/job related, another big part is that i've been really struggling with my own tagging systems, to the point it feels like work just to reblog something properly. this is primarily because the theme tagging system for this blog evolved as i did, and a lot of the tags i used to use on her became superfluous, or repeated, and despite how many i have i still struggled to find stuff!

in addition to that, because of the way the tumblr editor used to work, the way i added images to posts would randomly add blank image descriptions to the pictures that just said 'image' and i couldn't change them, which made the webs look very ugly on mobile and also inaccessible to people using screenreaders or with sight issues on any browser, which is the opposite of what i wanted. thankfully, this has now been fixed for new webs, but is unfixable on the older webs which is a real bummer :(

so, a couple of weeks ago i randomly decided to do something about it. and i did! a few of you have noticed that a new blog, @otheraraekni, has been reblogging some of my webs and adding image descriptions in the reblogs, but i've also been remaking some webs as well with the alt text finally working as intended. i've made a new navigation page for my blog organisation, full of some tags i've kept, some i've slightly changed, and a whole new kind of tags for those i use most often. currently all the links on there will lead to this blog (so some of them will lead nowhere, as they may be new tags) but my intention is to switch urls.

so -- moving? in a day or so (once i've got the last kinks worked out) i will be turning my otheraraekni blog into araekni, and this blog into an archive. because araekni is a sideblog, i don't really have the option to just attach it to an old email and set it adrift, and i'm hoping not to have to get notifications from it forever, so in a month or so it will be deleted.

why a month? hopefully that will give everyone time to save any webs they like from this blog that i haven't decided to move over to what will be the new araekni! obviously, a good portion of the followers on this blog are from a couple of years ago when i was posting webs much more regularly, and i am not at all expecting the new blog to reach the same level of popularity as this one did, but if anybody would like to follow the new blog this is your chance :) i'll queue this post a couple dozen times so as many people as possible see it, but if you don't wish to follow me over there, please know how much i have loved keeping this blog over the years and how wonderful of an experience it has been <3

[satansapostle6]

Kids | Rodrick Heffley

Spotify Playlist Link

Rodrick Heffley becomes obsessed when he finally meets his thirty-five year old band mate, Bill Walter’s, younger sister.

Warnings: Mature themes/language. Drug use. Sexual content. Violence.

“The Perks of Being A Disappointment”

“Meet the Fuckers”

Rodrick was so nervous for his parents to meet Sara as his girlfriend for the first time, he had to change his shirt a second time because he sweat through it. Greg certainly wasn’t making the whole situation any easier on him, so he had to cope on his own.

“Mom! Have you seen my tie?!”

Greg looked out into the hallway at his older brother in confusion.

“Why do you need your tie?” Susan questioned. “You do know, you’re not the one meeting us, right?”

“Mom, will you just tell me where my tie is?” Rodrick whined, running around frantically.

“I don’t know, honey, I have to finish up dinner.”

Sara arrived at the Heffley house for dinner about a half hour later. Too nervous to allow her to speak to either of his parents right off the bat, Rodrick ran towards the front door once she texted him saying she’d arrived.

“Thank God you’re here early,” he sighed.

“What the fuck are you wearing?” Sara demanded, stepping over the threshold.

“I was thinking the same thing,” Greg remarked as he came down the stairs.

She had showed up to the house wearing jeans and a black, long sleeved sweater that was both simple and conservative. Rodrick noticed she had even gone through the trouble of removing all of her makeup, still managing to draw attention even with just her thin, fluffy brows, long lashes, and septum piercing.

“What, you don’t like it?” Rodrick’s eyes widened in a panic.

“No, baby, I love it.”

Realizing just how worried he’d been this entire time, Sara took his face in her hands, lightly kissing his lips.

“Wait, so you two really are dating?” Greg stated.

“Yeah,” Sara nodded, waiting for it to sink in.

“Is he paying you, or something?”

“Fuck off! I’m trying to have a conversation with my girlfriend,” Rodrick growled.

“Rodrick! Language!” Susan Heffley appeared from around the corner, taking a moment to realize Sara had arrived. “Sara. Hi,” she said in embarrassment, looking flustered.

“Hi, Mrs. Heffley,” Sara greeted her amiably.

“Dinner will be ready soon… You kids just stick around,” the woman smiled awkwardly.

“Did you need any help in the kitchen?” Sara asked politely. “I can help you with whatever you need,” she said hopefully, trying to form a bond with her boyfriend’s mother.

“Um… That’s very sweet of you, honey, but I think I’m okay,” Susan smiled.

“Sure, no problem,” Sara responded, awkwardly smoothing back her shoulder-length blonde hair.

“Food will be ready in a minute. Rodrick, set the table.”

Rodrick turned back to his girlfriend, letting her follow along as he grabbed utensils for the table. Eventually, the rest of the Heffley family gathered around the table as Susan set the food on the table. Sara sat beside Rodrick, feeling him reach for her hand, feeling nervous as he watched his family settle in, hoping they wouldn’t completely embarrass him.

“Mmm. The mashed potatoes are really good, Mrs. Heffley,” Sara commended.

“Thank you,” she smiled as she ate.

Eventually, the conversation between Sara and Rodrick and the adults came to another natural lull.

“Say, how’s your Mom doing, Sara?” Frank spoke up, anxious about the silence. “I heard she left her job at the bank a while back. How long was she there, like, thirty years?” he asked, impressed.

“Yeah, like thirty, thirty-one years,” Sara nodded, “Randy wanted her to work from home,” she cleared her throat, not expecting the topic to affect her.

“Randy… That’s your stepfather?” he recalled.

“Yeah,” Sara tried to force a smile to hide her bitterness.

“What?” Frank asked curiously, not meaning anything by it. “He’s not a nice guy?”

“Dad…” Rodrick warned.

“Rodrick, he’s only asking a question,” Susan sighed, “Isn’t that what you wanted?”

Rodrick scowled, about to mouth off before Sara wrapped a hand gently around his bicep, trying to pacify him.

“It’s fine, uh, Randy’s… He’s my brother’s dad,” Sara tried to find a way to be positive.

“You know, being a step-parent isn’t easy,” Susan pointed out, unnecessarily contrarian. “I’ve covered that in my column.”

“What do you know about step-parenting?” Greg interjected, before earning a pointed glare from his father.

“My friend’s husband is good friends with Randy Sharpe. He’s a very pleasant man,” Susan offered.

“Have you even met him?!” Rodrick asked impatiently.

“Rodrick. It’s fine,” Sara brushed it off, already uncomfortable and overstimulated.

“You should appreciate him,” Susan offered, “I’m sure he makes a lot of sacrifices for your family.”

In spite of what she felt on the inside, Sara just nodded, her face twisted with discomfort.

“Appreciate that asshole? Really?” Rodrick felt offended at the idea. “The same douchebag that made her mom give up a good job just so she could do his dishes?!”

“Rodrick, I said it’s fine,” Sara gritted her teeth.

He just looked at her, a mixture of rage and anguish on his face as he realized a scene wasn’t what she wanted. Every bone in his body told him that retaliating was the right way to stand up for her, but he went against his better instincts in an attempt to respect her wishes.

“This is going well, huh, guys?” Greg remarked with a smile on his face, amusing no one.

“Mommy! Juice!” Manny interrupted, as Susan immediately turned to tend to him.

“So, Sara, do you have any plans for after high school?” Frank redirected the table conversation.

“Uh, not exactly,” Sara thought, “I just kinda need to keep working… I thought I’d stay at the restaurant until I can find a good apprenticeship.”

“Apprenticeship?” Frank looked at her with curiosity. “What kind of an apprenticeship?”

“At a tattoo shop,” she told him. “I’ve been working on a portfolio.”

“You’re… planning on doing tattoos for a living?” he asked her, having to adjust to the idea.

“Yeah,” she nodded with a smile.

“She’s really good, Dad,” Rodrick piped up, “Like, really good. It’s the best art I’ve ever seen.”

“Okay,” Frank murmured emptily, eyes far away as he tried to process.

“Rodrick, you also think Beavis and Butt-Head is the best show you’ve ever seen,” Susan reminded him.

“It is!” he shouted defensively.

“So Sara, do you have a backup plan?” Mrs. Heffley asked. “I mean, in case things don’t pan out?”

“Yeah, I have my job at the restaurant… I could probably make manager soon enough. Those positions open up pretty often, and I’ve been there a while, and I do some of the same work now,” Sara replied.

“You’re not… going to college?” Susan asked, looking as if she were about to have a small aneurysm.

“Well, I… I know I probably should, but I don’t really do well in school environments. I have ADHD. I’m better at just… being paid to do things,” she said more softly.

“I can understand that,” Frank chuckled, looking at his wife to find a dissatisfied scowl on her face. “I mean… College is good. It’s the way to go,” he corrected himself quickly.

“You really don’t think you can try, just… focusing a little harder?” Susan asked her thoughtfully.

“ADHD kind of defeats that purpose,” Sara thought.

“You can’t confine yourself to these labels, honey… I mean, for years, Rodrick’s teachers have been telling me he’s got ADHD, but with proper time management and structure, he could do well in his classes,” she informed her. “ADHD, anxiety… These are just tactics, to get people to turn to shortcuts and medication instead of actually helping themselves.”

Sara just stared at her blankly, at a complete loss for words. She figured it was like she almost got to the right conclusion, but took a sharp left. Sara glanced over at Rodrick trying to gauge how he was doing and now, he was still completely silent, just staring down at his lap.

“I, uh… I don’t know, Mrs. Heffley, I just don’t think school is good for me,” she tried to phrase her words as delicately as possible.

“How can school not be good for you?” Susan Heffley asked her. “A bachelor’s degree, at the very least, can help you get jobs you’d never be able to get without one.”

“Mom, she could become the manager of her restaurant soon enough if she wanted to. And her mom became assistant manager at the bank without a college degree,” Rodrick recited, remembering every detail about her life that Sara had given him.

“Yeah, but I mean, is that what you want?” Susan asked her. “To become a bank teller at eighteen, and never leave?”

Sara tried to contain the way her words started to actually sting. She’d heard a lot growing up, about her family and family history. She’d been looked down upon by a lot of people, but never before had it actually mattered to her. Knowing she needed to get out before she said or did something she regretted, Sara slammed her fork down on her plate, letting it clatter loudly as she stormed off.

“Mom! What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Rodrick jumped up in anger.

“Rodrick!” Frank yelled at him.

“Why would you say something like that?! All of it! All night, all you’ve done is be rude, and mean to Sara. What the fuck did she do to you?!” he scoffed. “She made an effort, the kind of thing you go crazy for! She was nice to you, and she went out of her way to forgive you every time you said some bullshit! Maybe Sara’s not the one who’s bad for me!” Rodrick shouted, running off after her.

Mortified, Susan looked at her husband, unsure of what to do. Despite not appreciating the outburst, Frank Heffley still saw exactly why Rodrick and Sara were both upset.

Rodrick anxiously searched the house, inside and out, for Sara, not sure where she would go. He initially thought she might’ve gone out for a smoke, but instead, he found her alone in his bedroom, sitting on his bed as she wrapped her arms around herself, looking broken.

“Hey, baby,” Rodrick said worriedly, putting his arm around her as he tried to make her feel less cold and alone, “Are you okay?”

Sara held back her tears as best as she could, breath shaky as she spoke.

“I… I tried so hard to make her like me. And I never do that with people,” she shook her head at the idea. “I thought it would work…”

“I’m so sorry,” Rodrick apologized, feeling guilty, “I really didn’t think she’d actually treat you like that, I thought she’d see how sweet you are, and how smart you are…”

“That never seems to be enough,” she murmured, understanding the bitter irony.

“No, no, baby…” Rodrick desperately tried to find a way to comfort her, holding her head against his shoulder to try and make her feel better. “You’re more than enough. You’re perfect,” he promised her.

“It doesn’t matter. People never seem to think so,” Sara scoffed, “They don’t want to. It doesn’t matter what I do; people just want to hate me.”

“Then they’re stupid,” Rodrick didn’t miss a beat, “Even if they’re my mom.”

“Rodrick, honey?” Susan rushed into the room.

Sara didn’t look up as Rodrick glanced at her in anger.

“Mom! Haven’t you done enough?!” he yelled. “This whole time, all you’ve done is find new ways to insult Sara! Even though she’s been nothing but nice to you, even when you didn’t deserve it!”

“Rodrick, Sara…” she said quietly. “I came to apologize.”

“I don’t want your apology!” Sara exclaimed frustratedly, finally breaking her silence. “I don’t wanna hear it anymore! I don’t wanna sit here and take your pity any more than I want the insults. I get it. You don’t like me, you don’t like my lifestyle. You don’t have to. If you wanna just never talk to each other again, we can just do that.”

“No, honey, I don’t want that,” Susan promised her. “I wanna get to know the girl my son’s dating.”

“Well, it seems like the more you know, the less you like about me.”

“No, that’s not true,” Susan said, clearly distraught. “I didn’t mean all those things I said… I just… I don’t know, I’ve never seen someone understand Rodrick the way you do,” sighed in defeat.

“So what, you thought you’d push me away?” Sara guessed.

“No… I just… I thought if I could find something wrong with you, then the way you help Rodrick wouldn’t mean anything,” Susan admitted.

“Wait, you think she helps me?” Rodrick demanded, shocked to find that she actually recognized that.

“Yes. I do,” she insisted. “I think Sara gives you a sense of self worth, and motivates you to do things. You haven’t even known each other all that long, but I think Sara’s actually a good influence on you. You seem happier, and more awake.”

Both of them were left silent, for different reasons.

“Sara, what I said to you was rude, and unforgivable. I understand if you can’t find it in you to forgive me, I wouldn’t either,” Susan reasoned. “But… I really want you to know you shouldn’t listen to what I said. I’m sorry for what I said about you, and your family. Those were inexcusable things to say to another person.”

“Yeah,” Sara admitted, her voice somewhat hoarse.

After the full apology, she found that she no longer really cared about what had been said.

“I don’t care about it anymore,” she decided. “It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not,” Susan said earnestly. “If you want to scream at me, I completely understand.”

“No. I don’t,” Sara stated. “I just… hope you know that Rodrick’s the person you should be apologizing to,” she reminded her.

Susan looked up at her oldest son, realizing the damage that had been inflicted, that night, and even before that.

“Oh, Rodrick… I’m sorry. You were trying to do a nice thing, a really nice thing, for us, and… your girlfriend, and I wish I could’ve been more mindful of that,” she sighed. “I know I probably don’t deserve to be… but I’m really proud of you, and who you’ve become. Trying to get us all to be polite, when we meet your new girlfriend? That’s a very mature thing to do.”

“It’s… It’s okay, Mom,” Rodrick decided, feeling bad for his mother as Sara squeezed his hand to offer him security.

“Okay,” she said in surprise, not expecting to be forgiven, “Why don’t I… give you two some privacy? You’re both welcome to come back down whenever you’re ready, but Sara, if you just want to leave, without saying goodbye to any of us, I totally understand. Door stays open, though.”

“Mom!”

Susan disappeared downstairs, as Rodrick flopped down on his bed, arms behind his head as Sara gently nuzzled into the space beside him, her head resting on his chest.

“Why are all families like this?” Rodrick sighed exhaustedly.

“I don’t know. But, if you have one that’s actually willing to apologize, you’re not totally fucked,” she supplied.

“You know I care about you?” Rodrick said suddenly, as the tears burned his eyes. “Like, so much?”

“Hey, I know,” she promised him, hurt by how worked up he seemed. “I feel the exact same way about you.”

“But, I hate when anyone does anything to you,” he professed, “I wanna punch someone in the face any time you don’t have the best day ever. You deserve everything, so much more than I got.”

“But I could never want anything more than you’ve got,” she reminded him. “I like the way you care for me. And only you.”

“Really?” he asked, knowing she could have a million better boyfriends if she wanted.

“You’re the one I wanna be with. First thing in the morning, last thing before I go to sleep,” she promised.

“Come here,” he sighed, snaking his arm around her frame as he held her close, never to let go. “One day…. I’m gonna be famous, and you’re gonna be a princess. For real.”

“Okay,” Sara agreed, closing her eyes dreamily.

“I mean it. I’ll be able to buy you anything and everything. I don’t even know what I could buy you… But I’ll buy it all.”

“I think you’re starting to take up space in my heart,” Sara admitted.

“I think I’d rather trust you to keep both of ours safe.”

-

French Inhale

[lastoneout]

New Pinned/Intro Post!

Hi, I'm Loo(or Alex), I'm a disabled queer artist and writer as well as a furry vtuber who streams four days a week on twitch(mostly Minecraft but also Soulsborne games and a variety of other stuff).

You may know me from The Tuna Post, in which several thousand of you came together to "force" me to buy damn near 30 American Dollars worth of imported fancy canned tuna to eat and review live on stream. If you're here for it, said live review can be found on twitch and on my youtube channel. TL;DR: 10/10 would recommend.

I currently can't work, so if you like what I've got going on here and want to help me out, I take donations over on my ko-fi <3 Aside from that, follows on twitch help a lot, even if you never end up watching!

(Also, I sell my twitch emotes as stickers on redbubble!)

I don't have a proper BYF, but as a heads up I'm heavily introverted and have ADHD, and between those and my disabilities eating up my energy I often take a while to respond to messages/tags/reblogs/DMs and sometimes forget entirely. This isn't anything against you, and it's something I'm working on, but just something to keep in mind if you plan on interacting with me a lot.

FAQ:

Do you take commissions?

Not at the moment, but hopefully in the future!

What do you use for art?

Wacom Intuos tablet + Clip Studio Paint on the PC, though these days I mostly use CSP on a Samsung Galaxy Tab s6 since I can use it in bed on my low spoons days.

What do you want to go to school for?

Digital Art and American Sign Language!

You talk about being sick all the time/having health problems, what's wrong with you?

Too many things to list <3 but the most notable ones are chronic migraines, hEDS, and ADHD.

Queer?

I'm ace, bisexual, bigender, and butch. I'm also polyam but currently in a very happy monogamous relationship and don't have plans to change that. My pronouns are she/they, and while I would prefer to not have people use he/him with me you are highly encouraged to use masculine forms of address(sir, guy, dude, king, man, my guy, grandpa, dad, etc.) whenever appropriate. My assigned sex/gender at birth is none of your business.

Who's Yotsuba?

Yotsuba is an adorable little gremlin and the main character of my favorite manga, Yotsuba &!, and you should go read it right now seriously it's amazing go read it go read it GO READ IT-

What's "ask to tag"?

The tumblr equivalent of "author chose not to use archive warnings", I put it on anything that seems like it could use a trigger warning but where no one has specifically asked me to tag for that trigger yet. Things I currently (try to) tag for: flashing lights/eyestrain, insects, suicide, fatphobia/diet culture/disordered eating, my hero academia, gore/body horror, current events, us politics, politics, covid, cats, and anything nsfw goes under nsft.

I can't promise to be 100% consistent with these tho, between the ADHD and the migraines I am very forgetful, so slip ups are bound to happen.

Loo? Like the bathroom??

LOO is short for LastOneOut, I'm american and forgot people call it that, you can write it as Lou or just call me Alex if it makes you feel better.

LookingForLoo?? Like looking for the bathroom??

On websites where LastOneOut is taken I'm LookingForLoo because I'm literally looking for LOO, LastOneOut. I thought it was clever T_T

Sideblogs?

I have a nsfw alt @looafterdark (18+ only I swear to god I keep a loaded gun pointed at the follow list) and a writing inspo blog @last-scrapbook. I also once ran a couple of character ask blogs, though I don't plan on starting them up again, and I was the mod behind @pokeprofshowdown.

Who's Eugene/Ophelia/Sasha?

My ocs from an original story I'm working on. I get brainrot and post about them a lot. You are ALWAYS allowed to ask me about them!

What's your fursona/can I make art of you?

I'm a dog, kinda like a papillion but not really, and yes you may. My ref sheet is here.

Can I repost your funny text posts to twitter/insta/reddit?

Sure, all I ask is that you include the entire post and leave my username visible. You can also tag me if you want, I'm lookingforloo on twitter, insta, and reddit <3

Can I repost your art/writing?

Absolutely not.

Can I plug your art or writing into an AI program?

Absolutely not under any fucking circumstances.

Can I use your art in an amv/fandom board/as a cover for my playlist or fic/ect.?

Depends, DM me first.

Can I write fic/make fanart based on your fics/art/HCs/AUs?

Absolutely <3

Can I write fic/make fanart based on your OCs?

Art yes, fics no.

What's your stance on the discourse?

There is no amount of posting online about contentious topics that could ever match the sheer power of simply going out into your community and finding a project that helps other people that you can dedicate your time and energy to. Also wear a mask, vote(if you can), and listen to marginalized people when they speak about their experiences.

How old are you?

29

[myangelhaven]

This is my recommendations of JISUNG fics! It will be updated once in a while for new stories I have read. Hopefully the links work (lemme know if it doesn't)

Credits to the authors!! All informations written are taken from the authors' post and has not been modified. Reminder that some fics are NOT for minors, so please read the key and avoid 18+ contents.

HAPPY READING!!

KEY

[❀]: fluff [𖦹]: humour [𖤓]: angst [☄]: sad [☾]:smut [⟡]:smau [✮]: my favs

˖⁺‧₊˚ ˚₊‧⁺˖✮-------------JISUNG--------------✮˖⁺‧₊˚ ˚₊‧⁺˖

ONESHOT

ten things han jisung says when he thinks you’re asleep by @soobnny [❀] NEW

Rule breakers by @ppiri-bahng [❀][𖤓][suggestive][pining]

reader isn’t the angel everyone thinks they are

A perfect disaster by @jae-bummer [❀]

Your bias confesses through text message while sitting next to you.

Red-handed by @straykeedz [❀][☾][fwb] 1.2k

Han Jisung pounding into reader over the kitchen counter and getting caught by Lee Know and/or Bang Chan.

Not that innocent by @straykidshoe [❀][☾] 1.3k

Seven minutes in heaven with the music major, the [by all that mattered] rumoured virgin. You assumed that you would need to teach him how to do everything- and if not that, then leave the stuffy closet needy and wet. But what happened is much different

You're still a traitor by @skzonthebrain [𖤓][☄][nonreciprocal pining][fwb] 1.4k

"He broke the rule of not sleeping with anyone else, but you broke the rule of not falling for each other."

the accuracy of philosophical aphorisms by @skazoo [❀][crack][vampireau] 2.6k

ok, you're tired, but you're sure those two floating, glowing, red orbs(?) are staring right at you.

Talking body by @hyungszn [❀][𖤓][ratedM][mutualpining] 2.8k

The downfall of womankind (read: you) is a trim waist, tan skin, and a delectable belly button.

You Lose If You Get It First by @jinxhallows [❀][☾][idolau] 3.2k

The heat by @hwanghyunjinenthusiast [❀][☾][✮][aphrodisiac] 3.6k

When your roommate brings home a bag of strange cookies, you two don't think much of it. Assuming whoever sold them to him was lying about them containing an aphrodisiac. You both quickly come to realise that you were very, very incorrect.

The night we met by @jisungsjheekies [❀][𖤓][soulmateau] 3.6k

Soulmate connection: born with a tattoo of the date you first meet your soulmate - Y/N’s is 22/09/19

It's a scream, BABY! by @tyunphoria [𖤓][☾][✮][ghostface] 3.7k

when you thought you finally escaped that psycho who calls himself ghostface . . . think again. he always finds you.

Lucid dream by @changbeanie [❀][𖤓][vampireau] 4.7k

You keep on having the same dreams about the same person every night. What happens when the boy in your dreams is the new kid in town?

Resurrected by @changbeanie [❀][𖤓][☄][zombieapocalypseau] 4.2k

In the year 2193, humans are in threat of extinction. In order to preserve what is left of humanity, the government set up a sanctuary. However one day, you found yourself in one of the restricted areas. What will happen to you now? Are zombies really what people claim them to be?

Bad guy by @jl-micasea-fics [𖤓][☾][fwb] 4.4k

He’s the classic bad boy, the one you shouldn’t want but can’t get enough of. It’s only too late you realise, you should have listened to the words of warning from your brother.

Rebound by @yoongihan [❀][☾][✮] 5k

Recently broken up with and cheated on, you decide to go to your first frat party and see what is so appealing about sex with a stranger.

Hopelessly devote by @straylightdream [❀][𖤓][☾][wolfau][f2l][mutual pining] 5.7k

his life changed unexpectedly and he’s attempting to cope with the inner turmoil he faces as he accepts the beast living inside him.

Glow by @j-0ne25 [❀][☾][bff's brother][frenemies][substances] 7.3k

It’s finally time to celebrate your birthday and the atmosphere is beyond belief – until your best friend’s annoying little brother shows up, having one specific plan on his to-do list: you.

Acquainted by @ch4nb4ng [❀][𖤓][☾][e2l][fwb] 7.7k

Jisung was the repulsive, totally arrogant drag racer from your area. You were the mechanic aways willing to fix his bike, but that wasn't the only interactions the two of you had shared.

The bet by @chvnnie [☾][3some] 8.2k

hyunjin and jisung make a bet. the prize? you.

On my mind by @staytheword [❀][𖤓][☾][✮][roommatesau][mutual pining] 8.6k

You and Jisung are stressed over your upcoming exams. You need to clear your heads, but you can't find anything that works. That is, until Jisung suggests watching porn together.

Public display of affection by @bugeater101 [❀][𖤓][☾][✮][e2l] 8.7k

You hated Han Jisung. Despite being one of numerous students in a prestigious academy, it felt like he was the only student who challenged your intellect. And it annoyed the hell out of you. He was just as smart, just as talented, and just as competitive—but he didn’t put in a single ounce of work to get where he was. The worst thing about him? The fact that you were wildly attracted to him. 

Catfish...? By @seungminheart [☾][rockstarau] 9.2k

What is more embarrassing than matching on Tinder with a catfish pretending to be rockstar Han Jisung, number one heartthrob of the decade? Probably discovering that the catfish isn't a catfish and actually is, in fact, rockstar Han Jisung. Whoops.

Alien by @j-0ne25 [❀][𖤓][☾][chf2l][fakedatingau][alien/demonau] 10.9k

Spawned at the age of thirteen—on his mission as a spy on planet earth—Jisung is made to build a bond with a human, quickly developing a tie of friendship and trust. On his 25th birthday, he is supposed to bring said creature to his home. But there’s a problem—by now, he has fallen hopelessly in love with you and there’s only one way to escape the awful mission: you need to return those hopeless feelings.

Lover, lover, set me free by @hanniiesuckle17 [❀][𖤓][✮][badboyau][bet][povswitch] 13k

Jisung is one of the biggest players on campus. When Hyunjin bets him that he can’t get into the coldest girl on campus’s pants, Y/n gets unknowingly thrown into the ordeal. While doing his best, Jisung unconsciously starts to fall for this girl who means more to him that he is willing to admit to anyone- even himself. 

Volcano by @astraystayyh [❀][𖤓][✮][e2l][slowburn] 13.2k

you've never gotten along with han, your mutual prejudices ruining any prospect of friendship between you both. but you slowly realize that you are more similar than what you originally thought- your darkness recognizing his, and his light yearning for yours.

"I'll take care of you. It's rotten work. Not to me, not if it's you."

Reckless Convictions by @moonjxsung [❀][𖤓][☾][✮][professorxstudentau] 31.5k NEW

Your senior year of college takes a strange turn when you develop a relationship with your professor.

SERIES

Your Lover Who Will Never Change by @thepixelelf [❀][𖤓][soulmateau] 16 parts (written)

A soulmate story told in moments.

Sunshine by @svngbins [❀][𖤓][⟡] 19 parts

y/n’s only secret is that she’s in love with her childhood best friend, jisung. the only problem? y/n’s other best friend, aerin, has a not-so-secret crush on jisung.

Don't shoot me by @staysuki [❀][𖤓][⟡][✮] 25 parts

two detectives go head to head in a battle of wits and stupidity. who wins? who loses? perhaps you both do.

Number neighbour by @softyn [❀][𖤓][⟡][fanboyau] 30 parts

Jisung has been a fan of y/n since he can remember, what will happen when y/n posts her new youtube video texting her number neighbor who turned out to be Jisung?

Friends without desire by @skzhua [❀][𖤓][⟡][exes2l] 40 parts

where minho being a dumbass led to meeting him again.

⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄more to come!⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄

☆-------------------skz masterlist-------------------☆