#hopefully the main plot points make sense though

[itsamenickname]

A Luigi x Donkey Kong and Angst Bowuigi story Part 2

It's sequel time baby! :D

Thanks again to @cbfanart for inspiring me to write this Luigi x DK and angst Bowuigi project/story! :)

Read Part 1 here!

Full story's under the cut because while not as long as part 1, this is still going to be a long post everyone.

*************

Luigi lets out a sigh of relief upon seeing “Diddy Kong” at the door. Even though part of him should’ve been really confused about this (since last Luigi saw him, Diddy Kong was rushing back to the Jungle Kingdom with DK), Luigi ignores this as he asks the small Kong “Are you okay? Where’s DK?” Instead of responding, “Diddy Kong” runs aways, resulting in Luigi following him while shouting, “Diddy Kong, wait!” The next few minutes pass with Luigi following the agile Kong. Eventually, “Diddy Kong” stops running after he enters a dark cave. When Luigi catches up to him, he stops to catch his breath before he said, “Diddy Kong, please, what is going on? Is Donkey Kong okay?” As soon as “Diddy Kong” faces Luigi, Luigi notices…a strange look on “Diddy Kong’s” face (which starts to terrify him because this is not Diddy Kong’s normal behavior). Before Luigi could have a chance to say, “Diddy Kong…?”, a magical blast suddenly hits the back of Luigi’s head, causing him to black out.

The next scene transitions to Luigi slowly regaining consciousness. As Luigi becomes more aware of his surroundings, he realizes that he is in a fancy bedroom. From the dark green silk covered sheets to the elegant fireplace on the other side of the bedroom, this room felt like it was made for a king.

The room also felt…weird. Luigi wasn’t sure if it was the fact that the entire room had a dark green theme to it or a completely different reason he couldn’t quite his finger on, but something about the room felt both comforting and terrifying.

As Luigi continued to look at his surroundings, he starts to notice how dark the room actually is. Luigi sees some closed curtains, so he decides to open the curtains. However, as soon as Luigi opens the curtains, all the blood drained from Luigi’s face upon seeing a very clear view of the Dark Lands.

Which could only mean that he’s in Bowser’s Castle.

“You’re awake.”

These two simple words made Luigi turned as pale as a Boo as he turned around and saw Bowser standing at the doorway. While Bowser did have a genuine smile on his face, this did not ease Luigi’s nerves in the slightest. Bowser asks Luigi, “How do you feel?” but his question was met with complete silence. Bowser takes one step towards Luigi, but this results in Luigi taking a fearful step back in response. Hating the idea of Luigi being scared of him, Bowser tries to ease the tension in the room by putting up his hands as a sign of peace.

Luigi surprised both himself and Bowser when he breaks the silence with the question, “W-Why am I here?” Bowser takes another step closer towards Luigi, but this results in Luigi pressing his back against the wall. While this sight was disheartening for Bowser to see, he explains to Luigi that he was hoping they could talk. Luigi quickly shakes his head as he tells Bowser that they have nothing to talk about. Bowser disagrees with this before he confesses to Luigi that he has feelings for him. 

Both Luigi and Bowser are completely quiet as they both processed the words Bowser just said. Bowser wanted to break the silence, he really did, but truthfully…, he didn’t know how to. What even is the proper thing to say after you told someone you have feelings for them?

It was both a relief and somewhat scary when Luigi unexpectedly broke the silence with two simple words:

“How long?”

Bowser honestly wasn’t sure whether it was better to lie or to tell the truth. While scared, he eventually admits this to Luigi: 

“A while. A really long while. From the moment you first made a pass on me, that was when I knew that you had feelings for me. Funnily enough, that was also when I realized that I had feelings for you, but I was honestly scared to act on these feelings until now because I didn’t know if anyone would accept our relationship.”

Even though Luigi has a neutral expression on the outside, so many different emotions are rushing through his head on the inside. Joy (for the briefest of moments), sadness, shocked, but most of all…Luigi is angry. He’s angry that Bowser never properly communicated with him (Luigi would’ve understood if Bowser had expressed how scared he felt about starting a relationship with him). But what angered Luigi the most was that Bowser knew how Luigi felt about him and still purposely decided to lead him on for 6 months.

And yet…, all Luigi could whisper was, “Y-You knew…?”

The sad look in Bowser’s eyes was all the confirmation Luigi needed.

“I’m so sorry, Luigi…,” Bowser whispered while taking a few steps towards Luigi.

Luigi quickly shakes his head as the tears started to roll down his face.

“No… You don’t get to say sorry… ,” Luigi stated. “Not af…not after you knew how I felt and still chose to use me over and over again…”

Bowser was quiet. There was so much he wanted to explain to Luigi, like how he was trying to protect Luigi from everyone’s disapproval of their relationship, how he was terrified that his citizens would force him to pick Luigi or his crown, and how Kamek and Kammy had told Bowser that they think Luigi would be a terrible king/king consort.

But Bowser couldn’t. The words were just stuck in his throat and all he could do was quietly watch Luigi with sadness in his eyes.

Seeing that Bowser wasn’t even going to attempt to defend himself, Luigi suddenly let out a, “Get out.” with nothing but hatred in his voice.

Now, Bowser was both surprised and scared to suddenly hear Luigi speak in such an angry tone. Bowser looked at Luigi and noticed how angry Luigi suddenly looked.

“Luigi, please, let me explain-,”

But, Luigi doesn’t give Bowser a chance to explain himself because in a fit of anger, Luigi screams the following:

“I SAID LEAVE! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT AND GET OUT OF MY LIFE! I DON’T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU! DO YOU HEAR ME?! I HATE YOU!”

Bowser is hesitant (and slightly scared because he has never seen this side of Luigi before), but he ultimately decides to respect Luigi’s wish.

But as soon as Bowser leaves the room, Luigi breaks down crying.

________________

2-3 hours later, Luigi returns to the Jungle Kingdom’s palace (after Luigi demanded Bowser to leave him alone, Kamek was ordered by Bowser to peacefully take Luigi back to the Jungle Kingdom). When he arrives at the throne room, he sees DK and CK having a heated discussion on where Luigi could be. The arguing soon stops when DK and CK notice Luigi. DK lets out a sigh of relief as he rushes to Luigi and gives him a tight (but also gentle) hug. DK asks Luigi if he’s alright, to which Luigi tries to reassure DK that he’s fine and just needs to rest at his palace room. DK can tell that something’s bothering Luigi, but he agrees to Luigi’s request. After CK gives Luigi a hug and tells him that he’s glad he’s safe, DK and Luigi head to Luigi’s palace room. As soon as they enter the bedroom, DK closes the door and (without looking at Luigi) saids, “I’m really happy you’re alright. It was really scary coming back to the tree house to find you missing. I…I thought I lost you.” However, DK’s happiness quickly turns into worry when he suddenly hears a loud “thud”. DK instantly turns around and gets scared when he sees Luigi crouching down on the floor. DK rushes to Luigi’s side before asking him, “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” When Luigi looks at DK, DK is just devastated to see the trails of tears running down his boyfriend’s face. DK doesn’t know what to do, but he decides to give Luigi a hug as he tells him that, “It’s alright. Just let it all out.” This statement from DK results in Luigi crying his eyes out for the next 5-10 minutes.

After 5-10 minutes passes, Luigi has mostly stopped crying, but neither he nor DK have moved from their spot. Eventually, Luigi whispers this statement so quietly that DK almost missed it:

“Bowser kidnapped me because he wanted to tell me that he has feelings for me.”

DK is STUNNED (and I mean really fucking stunned) upon hearing what Luigi just said. However, he pushes his feelings down as his main focus is Luigi. DK is very hesitant to ask this, but he does eventually ask the following: “And…do you…?” Luckily, DK doesn’t have to finish his question because Luigi quickly shakes his head while saying the following to DK:

“I don’t have any…romantic feelings for Bowser. It’s just…really hard for me to cope with this right now because he told me that he has had feelings for me for a long while, but was too scared to say anything.”

DK noticed the slight hesitation in Luigi’s voice when he said, 'any romantic feelings.' DK asks Luigi, “Do you…have any non-romantic feelings for Bowser?”

Luigi is quiet, then answers DK question with the following:

“I don’t know… I mean…, when Bowser and I were just friends, everything was great. But now that I know that Bowser has feelings for me…, I feel like he and I can’t hang out anymore without things getting really awkward.”

DK is quiet as he processes Luigi’s response. After about 2-3 minutes, DK suggests that Luigi should try to befriend Bowser again. Luigi immediately becomes surprised with DK’s suggestion, but DK quickly makes a point that even though Luigi doesn’t have any romantic feelings for Bowser anymore, DK can tell that Luigi still misses Bowser’s friendship. Luigi tries to disagree with DK, but he soon stops in his tracks when he realizes that DK’s right. Despite not having feelings for Bowser anymore, Luigi deep down does miss Bowser’s friendship. Luigi does tell DK that he wants to try to reach out to Bowser in his own time. DK smiles and tells Luigi, “Whatever I can do to help, just let me know, okay?” before kissing Luigi’s head. Luigi smiles and nods before telling DK, “I will. Thank you, amore mio.” (Amore mio= my love)

______________________

2 months later…

This scene starts off with Bowser reading a boring, yet important, document in his office. Suddenly, Bowser hears a knock at the door. Bowser tells the mysterious visitor to enter. The visitor (which turns out to be just Kammy) informs Bowser that he has a special visitor. After Bowser asks Kammy if she and Kamek can handle whatever the visitor needs, Kammy explains that while they would in normal circumstances, the reason that she came to tell Bowser was because the special visitor is actually Luigi. This surprisesBowser (since his last interaction with Luigi went terribly), so he follows Kammy to the throne room. At the throne room, Bowser is speechless upon seeing Luigi with a basket of chocolate chip cookies. Bowser asks Kammy to leave them as he wants to talk to Luigi in private. Kammy obeys and leaves them alone, but as soon as she’s gone, Bowser asks Luigi, “Why are you here?” Luigi answers with, “I was hoping I could talk to you.” Bowser (in a somewhat angry tone) asks Luigi what does he want to talk about. Luigi explains that he wants to apologize for what happened between them 2 months ago.

Bowser is quiet as Luigi said the following:

“I’m sorry for the things I’ve said to you. I…I did a lot of thinking over these past 2 months and I understand now why you didn’t want to tell me about your feelings. You were scared. You were scared that the people you care about, like Kamek and your citizens, weren’t going to accept our relationship and I understand that now. You have to put your people first and if they had to make you choose between me and your kingdom…, it would’ve been an impossible choice.”

“Yea…,” Bowser said. “It would have…”

It’s quiet for a few seconds before Bowser speaks again.

“You were right to be angry with me,” Bowser admits. “Since the very beginning, I knew that you had feelings for me, but I just kept using you over and over again. You didn’t deserve that. You don’t deserve that and I’m glad that you found someone who treats you better than I ever have.”

Luigi and Bowser are quiet as they both processed the words they spoken. Eventually, Luigi breaks the silence again.

“Do you…want to start over…?” Luigi asked. As soon as the words left his mouth, he realized how his statement could easily be misinterpreted, so he quickly adds. “As friends, I mean.”

Bowser is quiet. Eventually he confesses with the following:

“I...I can’t do that right now. I still have feelings for you and hanging out with you will only make it harder for me to let you go. I would like to eventually start over as friends, but I need to stop having feelings for you before I can even consider anything else..”  

“I understand…,” Luigi responds. Realizing he was still holding the basket of cookies, he hands them for Bowser. “I made these for you. As a peace offering. I didn’t know what kind you like, so I made chocolate chip cookies. I hope that’s okay.”

Bowser lets out a laugh as he explains that yes, he is okay with chocolate chip cookies. Luigi exchanges a smile, then his watch suddenly goes off. Realizing what time it is, Luigi tells Bowser that he needs to head back to the Mushroom Kingdom. Before he leaves the throne room, he looks back and Bowser and saids, “Whenever you’re ready to start over as friends...,” Luigi gives Bowser one last smile before leaving Bowser alone in the throne room.

[exhuastedpigeon]

I saw a post the other day about how isolated Eddie is from the other characters even before texas. They do this plot for the whole team & every main involved, where an army medic actually would make narrative sense and he's nowhere to be seen. He's the guy who talked about the family we choose ffs. He better magically show up next ep. Rant over.

For as much as I've loved season 8, and I'm on record talking about how much I love season 8 (it's my favourite season since season 5), I have been sorely disappointed with the way Eddie's story has been dragged out and how it's been handled.

And really quick – this isn't me hating on 911. I love 911. I have so much fun watching every week and yelling about it on here. It's something I look forward to and will hopefully continue to look forward to, but I've just been bummed with every week the Eddie and Chris story drags on.

Before I get into it, because I will be getting into it, I want to caveat this by saying that when I say I'm disappointed with how Eddie's story has been handled, I don't mean I want more Eddie (though I will always take that), what I want is for Eddie's story to integrate into the main cast more. Chris leaving impacted him so much but the only person he really talked to about it on screen for most of 8a was Brad.

So let's start with Brad. The Hot Shots story was fun, but it didn't need to be dragged on like it was. I know that Tim really liked Callum and loves being self referential, but the episode where Brad came to the 118 really didn't need to happen. For example, that episode could have shown up Hen and Karen adjusting to having Mara back and had that as Eddie's final push to fight for Chris.

8a had multiple mentions of Eddie's medic background, including him doing a risky procedure to save a teenager (and then going out of his way to talk some sense into the dad of that teenager). in 8x12 Buck mentioned Eddie's Silver Star. There have been reminders about Eddie's medical background and his Army service sprinkled throughout the season and, while there is obviously still time for a payoff, it feels like Tim did the thing he does where he adds in too many extra side stories and latches on to side characters that he likes, making them bigger than originally intended *cough* brad *cough*.

I'm sure the ABC schedule didn't help. If I'm remember correctly they thought 8x9 (Sob Stories) was going to be the mid-season finale. I know there are things outside of the shows control.

I've seen a few people mention that in s5 Eddie was also separated from the team and that's true, but not like this. In s5 we still had Buck and Eddie seeing each other in person, we had Eddie and Bobby's fight and Eddie's subsequent apology. We had Eddie as the first on the scene for the fire at dispatch and then he joined the 118 to save the day.

Maybe the point is Eddie's absence, but it really feels like they just don't know what to do with him while they build to whatever gets him and Chris back in LA.

Again, I'm not even asking for more Eddie stories, I'm just asking that his stories actually get resolved and that he gets to be with the team! Because you're right anon, Eddie is the guy who talked about the 118 being the family they choose. It seems like maybe the show forgot that part.

[twig-tea]

GL odds and ends 6 October 2024

I haven't been as good at posting about shows as I wanted to be, so I'm trying a round-up format instead because it feels like a lot of GLs skirt under the radar. It's exciting that we're in a time when there's enough GL airing that it's worth doing a round-up! This was a great week for the lesbians to figure themselves out, so it feels like a good week to start. No idea how regularly I'll do this, need to figure out a cadence that makes sense.

Currently airing (with thoughts up to Oct 6):

Reverse 4 U 5/8 (Thai, Tuesdays 1:00 PM EDT, Netflix / YouTube) This week the girls finally sorted themselves and we got set up for the main plot to start next week. I was initially really stoked about this one and then a little bummed that it's not taking it's very cool premise and the stakes it establishes as seriously as it could be, but I'm still hoping it will start to have real stakes in the main plot stretch.

The Two of Us s2 ep 6/6 END (Thai, 29 Aug-3 Oct 2024, YouTube) It was so great seeing women in their 40s being romantic together but I did not love the plot of this one; I find their romantic conflicts too juvenile (lots of easily-triggered jealousy). The moments they're being sweet are great though.

Unlock Your Love ep 4/8 (Thai, Wednesdays, GagaOOLala / YouTube [cut version]) This is the first episode that this series felt a little more assured; I liked the series this production company produced with a short run time, it feels like this series has been worse off for its longer episodes. That being said, when these couples get to do their thing like in this episode, they have good chemistry.

Chaser Game W s2 ep 3/8 (Japanese, Thursdays 12:30 PM EDT, GagaOOLala) @lurkingshan is already doing a great summary of this week to week in her JQL weekly round-up!

Affair the series ep 6/8 (Thai, Fridays 11:15 AM EDT, iQIYI/ YouTube) Finally! I liked that it was Ek pointing out that Wan was unhappy the entire time she was gone that finally got Pleng to give in to her desire to be with Wan. This show is so melodramatic but the emotional threads follow and the character motivations are clear and consistent; I'm enjoying it in spite of not loving melodramatic storylines in general. It helps that the acting in this one is excellent.

The Loyal Pin ep 10/16 (Thai, Sundays 12:15 PM EDT, YouTube) Glad we finally got confirmation of Patt's history! And I'm relieved Anin knows she has an ally, though I feel like it's given her false confidence that worries me. These two are stressing me out by how bad they are at being careful but I do love how desperate they are for each other, as well as how beautiful this show is.

Red Whisper ep 2/8 (Korea, Wednesdays and Sundays, YouTube) Starting with cheating is not my fave but is par for the course with these SukFilm short series; my fave so far has been their first GL so if you haven't seen that yet I'd honestly recommend that instead.

Recent One-offs

Out of Breath (re-release in a bingeable version; Korean, YouTube) Highly recommended! Also the creator, Soo not Sue, announced she's working on another series to hopefully air before the end of the year, which I am super stoked about.

The Suffering of Xiqing Mountain (Chinese (censored), YouTube)

Sastra film app YouTube channel has several short Cambodian GL series that come out weekly Honestly they are not to my taste but I don't like gatekeeping GL especially from smaller markets. I check in on these time to time and if there are any that I think are great I'll give them a shout-out

Ditto above with JPC media YouTube channel for Thai GL shorts if there are any that stand out to me I'll say so

Recently ended that I haven't had the wherewithal to write about:

Hoshikuzu Telepath (fansub) Thank you to @yuiyuihan for your hard work making it possible to watch this series! I I haven't read the original manga but I do know they changed the kiss communication to a forehead rest; Unsurprised that this adaptation, starring idols in the same group, would be left ambiguous in terms of whether their feelings are friendly or romantic. I liked what this series was trying to say, but in all honestly didn't love the execution. It's too bad because I absolutely love the concept of an alien being helped by girls obsessed with building rockets.

The Secret of Us 8 eps [complete] (24 Jun-15 Aug 2024, YouTube) I first included this in my recommendations from the summer and then retracted, but I ended up liking this series and then never updated again. So to set the record straight: Though it lost me in the middle, the ending on this series won be back over. I really appreciated the way this series handled filial piety and balancing that against personal happiness. I appreciated SO MUCH that the main characters decided together how to handle Lada's situation with her mother. I finally understood too late that Earn believed the lies Lada's mother told her in ep1, and that affected some of their decisions in the middle of the series. I still think the execution was wobbly, but the acting and chemistry between the two leads carries this series through. This has some of the best domestic fluff in any GL, as well as my favourite GL counter lift to date. And it's gorgeous. Tentatively recommended with the caveat that you do have to either enjoy or power through the melodrama in the middle.

Starting soon:

Apple My Love, Thai, 12 October, GagaOOLala

Pluto, Thai, 19 October, VIU

The Nipple Talk, Taiwanese, 1 November GagaOOLala

My Ex's Wedding [in theatres in Thailand 14 November]

Petrichor, Thai, 23 November, TBD

[inc0mple]

🗝️ ”Keys Are People, Too” 100 Chapter Q&A ⭐️ (ongoing!)

(Last edit: 12/20 10:40 CST)

Hi! :) If y’all don’t know me my name is Inco (it’s not but shh) and I write a fanfiction for Cinderella Boy called Keys Are People, Too. It’s not finished, it’s ongoing and rapidly approaching 100 chapters XD (yes we are like four chapters away but shh rounding) (I PROMISE WE’RE ALMOST TO THE LAST ACT). So because of an ask from @isitamia and, we’ll say the 100 chapter milestone… tada Q&A??

I don’t know how many people are going to engage with this but that’s totally okay :) I love ranting about stuff and I’ve put a lot of thought into this story, so it would be cool to have an outlet to answer some questions where they don’t get forgotten in AO3 comments. And if you guys also have general questions about writing advice/things like that, I am not an expert but I do also like talking about stories.

So please ask! I’m not planning to close this at any specific time—I was thinking y’all could comment questions under this post or via reblogs (I might miss them in reblogs though) and I will edit this post to answer them, and also reply to you so you know your question is answered. This might get like 10 notes and that’s fine haha (I have zero idea how many people regularly read my story beyond the ones who leave comments), but if there are a lot of questions I’ll try to categorize them. Really just a place to drop info for fun :)

Q&A below ⬇️

I tried to make it organized. It's... kind of organized. Kind of.

Plot/Characters

"What key archetype isn't one of the siblings? Do we get to know their archetypes soon?" asked by @spookieee28 12/20

I'm not gonna say the archetypes at this point in time because it risks spoilers. You will find out by the end of the story and hopefully by that points all of the archetypes should be relatively clear. Some have already been mentioned like the chapter "Heralds and Thieves" for Jade and Cooper, I think (?) Cora has been mentioned as the Innocent archetype, etcetera.

"Which character do you struggle writing the most and which feels easier for you, if you have preferences?" asked by @isitamia 12/20

"Do you ever struggle with keeping Cinderella Boy's canon characters in character?" asked by @isitamia 12/20

I'll answer both of these together. Chase is pretty easy for me because I just channel chaotic gremlin energy and it seems to work. Buddy is OKAY although I am struggling right now making him vulnerable while still retaining him Buddy-ish-ness if that makes sense? Deacon is just Deacon... I am sorry, I feel like I don't really do anything to characterize him, he's just there as a sounding board XD I will say- I daydream situations for CB ALL THE TIME which gives me a lot of comfortability with the canon characters and considering what they would do and say and how they would react. I do have a little bit of difficulty characterizing the human keys so I just kinda went like "oh WELL that's because, UUHHHH, the key siblings don't match the keys exactly! That's it that's the answer!" because I felt like Silver wasn't quite Silver-ish and stuff. As for struggling writing the most I have two main answers.

BRONTE. For those who maybe haven't read this but are scrolling through it anyway, or aren't there yet, Bronte is the "human" version of Bronze and I kinda accidentally eliminated him from the story until like... the 80th chapte ror something like that. I had a lot of trouble actually writing his dialogue and scenes with Chase. It just did not have Bronze's snarky energy. So that was tough and I feel bad because I really feel like I did not do him justice :c

DUKE RAVENELL!!!!!! Ravenell hates me. He gives me so much trouble primarily because I just plunked him in at the beginning and didn't give him a real personality beyond a few vague notions. I've really had to sculpt his character as I went and it's especially difficult because Ravenell is intended to do a lot of plot device-ing. He perpetuates a lot of themes in the story and he is a HUGE character foil to Chase, because he often reflects the opposite of Chase's (and Idonea's) values and intentions. I want him to be morally grey and I am constantly fighting a BATTLE with this man to make sure he isn't too likeable or too hateable. I posted on Tumblr like a week ago really just asking for a diagnostic and the response made my day because people are all OVER the place about this man, some people love him, some will never forgive him, some are like "he's alright but there's something off about him and I can't help but distrust him" and others are like "I know he keeps making mistakes but I can't help but trust him" and I LOVE IT. Fortunately I think he's finally in a place perception-wise where I want him. I want the confusion. So badly. Only now I have to continue to fight this stupid tug-o'-war to keep him properly dividing until the end of the story XD

Behind the scenes

"How did you come up with the plot for KAPT? Was it just a little thought that popped up in your head one day, or did you have like inspiration or something?" asked by @xcitrix 12/20

"Did you have an idea for how you wanted the story to end when you first started writing or did you come up with more ideas while working on it?" asked by @lapileaf 12/20

I'mma answer both of these (and any others if they are asked) in kinda the same go if that's alright. In August I was wanting to write some fanfiction for CB, and one idea rotating in my head was, what if Chase went into a nonfiction book? Like he thought it the most effective way to study for a history project, or he saw a mention of Ex Libris, or something. So, completely directionless, I drabbled out the first chapter of KAPT where they find the book in the museum and... adopt it. And then it sat there in my Google Docs for like two weeks while I worked on a different fanfiction, Violets and Chains. I tried to return to it a little bit and got through the first anthology chapter where they're in the Chartesia battle, but that too did not have a plot behind it, I was like "myeh... trebuchets... uh... and now there's a guy... oh maybe they're PRISONERS..." And then brain did not work and I gave up. Eventually got myself together, BS-ed the rest of the scene, and then sat down and essentially ranted to myself about potential ideas until I figured out the plot.

More ideas have kept cropping up as I've worked on it. There are certain puzzle pieces that are foreshadowed in even teh first ten chapters that I didn't even mean to foreshadow because I hadn't thought of the yet - the plot was generally mapped out but has defintely been refined and added to as time goes on. Eventually you get into the flow of a story and everything just starts clicking into place, like you yourself are theorizing about an external work. Keep in mind that because I am publishing it as I write each chapter, KAPT is a first draft, and I have to hatch out plot points and main parts of the story as I write and make my best effort to recover any loose threads or things like that. It's a fun exercise!

"Do you plan to stick to the story you have already till the end or is there a possiblity you'll have to change some things if we get to know more about canon Ex Libris/Buddy lore while it's still ongoing?" asked by @iwikpines 12/20

There are some new bits of information that are kinda iffy for KAPT, but ultimately because KAPT takes place inside a book most of the Buddy/Ex Libris lore is not applicable. Regarding Buddy's situation I am going to go ahead like I was planning to originally, and I'll add a disclaimer when time permits. I don't think either way throws a wrench in the plans too much but I would rather be confident in the themes I've already set up as opposed to trying to hastily recover new lore in the last third of the story, if that makes sense.

"How did you come up with your ocs? I know some, like Jaime, come from another original story of yours ... but what about characters like Ravenell, Galeus, and Rose? What inspired you? How did you decide their personaltiy, their struggles? Did you take inspiration from yourself for anyone, similar to how Punko took inspiration from herself for Chase? Do you follow any specific process to come up with ocs, like follow a list, scheme, or coming up with hypothetical scneraios?" asked by @isitamia 12/20

A lot of the characters are cameos from a passion project I've been working on for years called IFI (no I will not tell you what it stands for) - Jaime and emma are from there, as well as several others including Alexei, Nishan, Mattheo, Kelitia, Indie (the Marchioness), King Aarius, and King Olivyn. So those are just plunked in and then Jaime decided to become part of the plot. As for the other original characters made specifically for KAPT, they just kinda got plopped in for one reason or another (I wanted Rose to connect to the Chartesia lore, Ravenell to have a foil for Chase, and Galeus because, well, there had to be a king) and then I slowly worked to build connections, themes, and character. Often times I don't specifically sit down and think "this character will be this way", it just emerges naturally from their dialogue, like I'm chiseling something out that was already in the stone like an archeologist, as opposed to carving my own new sculpture. I've always written that way and it makes it difficult when I am required to add structure to my writing or explain why I do things the way I do. I will say it is all VERY inspired from my own life and beliefs; Rose exists as a confidante in the story, and many of her more preachy dialogue pieces are things I'm getting out of my system. So yeah, not really a lot of structure to it, they just appear... and I figure them out as I go... most of my characters are in some way facets of myself or the way I percieve life. As I get more experienced with writing I'm sure I'll be more intentional with them, but for now, they are Athena and I am Zeus.

"How do you post daily" (kind of) asked by @isitamia 12/20

To give an actual answer for this because I know it's a lot to post a 2-4k chapter PER DAY - I am a student and have a LOT of downtime in class where I can't really do anything but write. That is how. Also, I have taught myself to be a prolific writer because that is the thing in my life I can always rely on when other things are unstable.

"How did you extend the story so far? I love the plot and it's kinda insane how you were able to develop it so much, at this point it's a full novel and I kinda live for it LOL. Also how long would you consider one act?" asked by @shyve3 12/20

Two parts to this question, I will answer them both;

I didn't mean to. I am really bad about being concise; I can't. When I write and get passionate about a story there's so much I want to stay and I can rarely fit it into what most people consider a pallatable length. I just get going and... idk... unstoppable force or something lol. And yes KAPT is at least the length of a typical trilogy XD ITS BEEN FIVE MONTHS

Regarding the act question, I ORIGINALLY said KAPT would be three acts, with the first ending when Chase goes down into Rose's "tomb" for the first time, the second ending with the Bronte part, and the third being the final one. It is actually more like four now, with the "second" act split into two at the masquerade ball. We are so close to being onto the actual final act, which should be a 4th of the total fic, so we have maybe 30 chapters left (?) (we'll see lol)

I don't have a specific length, it's just the way the story tends to ebb and flow if that makes sense?

General stuff

"Do you have any advice as a writer?" asked by @iwikpines 12/20

I AM SO BAD ABOUT THIS because I really do just go type type type and words appear. I know there's more to it than that but I've spent a lot of time writing and not a lot of time learning how to write so I have the experience without the actual education behind it. Write what you care about :) I mean NO DUH but like - your best stories will come from the heart. You will find prolificness (is that a word?) in PASSION. If I didn't care about Cinderella Boy or the themes I'm trying to communicate in KAPT would I spent my days writing a chapter a day ABSOLUTELY FRIGGIN NOT I'd be writing a different story. So yeah - write what you love and your audience will find you. What the world needs is a buncha people doing what they love really well because it's what they care about. Also, I didn't include your full comment here, but I am excited to read your fanfiction! <3 Please post it on Tumblr when you also post it elsewhere!

[suzena]

Complete Dead Apple Explanation

Or: “The Ultimate Guide to Dead Apple”.

Warning: this is a long post! I’m not kidding, I worked on this for three months. There is a TL;DR at the end but it will only briefly cover the most important points.

I see posts about Dead Apple not being understood far too often and so I’m introducing: this explanation! I do want to preface this by saying that I can completely understand that this movie can be confusing. Or, as Fyodor said it:

But, as someone who has seen it many times, I’m here to shed some light on it! Hopefully after this post it’ll all make a bit more sense, and you’ll at least have different questions.

If you haven’t watched the movie yet and are wondering when to watch it, the story officially takes place between season two and three, though you’ll be able to watch season three with no issues if you haven’t watched the movie. Please do note that this post will contain light spoilers for the plot after season two, so don’t read it if you haven’t at least finished catching up to the anime.

I’ll try not to summarize the movie, but instead explain it. That means that this post does not replace the movie, but instead tries to elaborate upon it and tries to place it in the larger plot. Most of the early movie is therefore ignored, but please do not hesitate to ask if you have extra questions, comments, different interpretations or you want me to go into more detail about something. I may not know everything, but I’m always down to talk about this movie!

Alright, with all of that out of the way…

The Dragon Head Conflict

We’ll start at the beginning, which is to say, we’ll start at the prologue, which can be found as a permanent event in Mayoi (and also as a part of the Dead Apple manga). This is not technically needed to understand most of the movie, but it does give some context that will make it a little easier, since this is where it all starts. 

The Dragon Head Conflict, sometimes also translated as the Ryuuzu Conflict, is (as the movie states) the largest conflict in the history of Yokohama’s underworld. It took place six years ago, and originally was about five hundred billion yen an ability user left behind after they died, which various organizations were very interested in. It lasted for a total of 88 days, and involved conflict between eight different underworld organizations, including among others the Port Mafia, Gelhart Security Service/GSS (from Fifteen) and Takasekai (also from Fifteen).

Now as you can imagine, the government isn’t super stoked that gangs are shooting each other up all night and leaving corpses everywhere, to the point where the sidewalk is torn up from the bullet holes. To try to combat this, they thought that they could best fight fire with fire, and let a strong ability user from outside Yokohama settle this conflict all at once.

This new ability user, known as the “White Qilin”, unfortunately doesn’t really care about ending the conflict and kills other strong ability users left and right just for the fun of it, contrary to what the government had hoped he would do. Whether they are uninvolved parties or Port Mafia executives, it doesn’t matter to this guy. The White Qilin also ends up taking the money the conflict was originally about, but that doesn’t stop his murder spree. In this way, the White Qilin gains control over the entire conflict pretty fast, making him the main target to eliminate in order to put a stop to the killings.

Dazai approaches this problem similarly as to how he did during the conflict of Stormbringer, with a group of ability users to overpower the lone individual, but gets his plan twisted on him and gets kidnapped instead. Naturally, he predicted this outcome, leaving a hint for Chuuya where he left a transmitter for a tracking device so that Chuuya could come rescue him. 

This is then the first scene of the movie, where Dazai and Chuuya confront and defeat the White Qilin using Corruption, and the whole Dragon Head Conflict ends since the White Qilin is finally gone and all the money burned. This battle is so iconic in the underground circles that it gains them the name “Double Black”, or “Soukoku”.

A few small notes on the Dragon Head Conflict before we move on.

As can also be seen in the first scene of the movie, this is where Oda adopts all five of those kids you see during the Dark Age, which was also already stated in the Dark Age itself. 

“I heard all about it, Odasaku. You’re raising five kids, huh? And not only that, they’re orphans from the Dragon’s Head Conflict.” ―Dazai, Dark Age

Also, ever wondered why the Port Mafia is the only major criminal organization in Yokohama? There actually used to be five in total but four of them completely perished during the Dragon Head Conflict. Another reason why Dazai & Chuuya ending the conflict is so impressive, since because of that the Port Mafia is the only one to even survive it at all.

Shibusawho?

As you’ve probably guessed by now, the “White Qilin”, also named “the Collector” in Dead Apple itself, are both different names for our main antagonist: Shibusawa Tatsuhiko. The government had good reason to believe Shibusawa would be able to stand against the entire Yokohama underground and come out on top: his ability.

Shibusawa’s ability, Draconia, creates a fog around him, which separates other ability users from their own ability and makes non-ability users disappear as long as the fog persists. When surrounded by this fog, ability users are confronted with this version of their ability that is split from themselves. If an ability user is to die within this fog, their ability will be added to Draconia’s collection room.

There is decent evidence that it takes a while before the fog activates, so the effect isn’t immediate. This can be seen with Chuuya, who makes very short contact with the fog before he lifts up the building that he shoves in the Dragon’s mouth, but it’s seen even more clearly with Atsushi and Kyouka at the start of the movie. They spend a small while running around Yokohama wondering why everyone is gone before they’re finally confronted with their abilities.

To some extent the separated abilities represent the inner conflict in an ability user. This can of course be clearly found in Atsushi and his shaky connection to the tiger, or in Kyouka who has Demon Snow which is the last remnant of her parents but also murdered them in front of her. But the clearest example of this in the movie is actually Kunikida, since there is a visible change between him and his ability.

The notebook of Kunikida’s ability does not read its usual “理想” (ideals), but instead now says “妥協” (compromise). For Kunikida, a person so tied to his ideals, this version of his ability is an “abomination” (his words, not mine), and thus a source of inner conflict, since it represents a side of Kunikida that he carries within him.

“A copy of himself that didn’t follow ideals but made compromises was an abomination to Kunikida.”―Dead Apple (light novel)

If ability users manage to defeat their abilities in a physical fight, and then also accept these parts of themselves for what they represent, they will regain their ability. For example, Atsushi does not immediately regain his ability after defeating the tiger because he does not completely accept that the tiger represents that he has killed a person. For Atsushi, a person who connects his entire reason of living to saving other people, this is nearly irreconcilable. The only reason he probably is able to get over it in the end is that the person he killed was actively torturing and trying to kill him, so Atsushi had to kill to survive.

Shibusawa, then, is dead. Chronologically, his murder is the earliest you see of him. Fyodor has told Shibusawa that Atsushi contains something that “guides the envy of all ability users”, so Shibusawa, who feels like he is missing something, seeks to take this by any means. This doesn’t work out too hot for him, and Atsushi kills him.

Now a fun thing happens. Since Shibusawa is the center of the fog at all times, so to speak, and he’s the keeper of the abilities that die in his fog, his ability is separated from himself and lives on, nearly indistinguishable from his original body. Only one downside to this: he completely loses his memories.

I can only assume the government steps in at this point to take this strong ability user in his vulnerable state, and then have him solve the Dragon Head Conflict not long after. He most likely also survived Chuuya’s Corruption by being an ability, and having ability crystals in his collection to fall back on and recover, as he also does in Dead Apple. However, all of that is just pure speculation.

After the Dragon Head Conflict, Shibusawa spends some years abroad, casually killing thousands of ability users for the same reason as during the Dragon Head Conflict: just playing around and trying to fill that hole of something that is missing inside of him. The Japanese government mostly does a spectacular and spectacularly unethical job of cleaning up after him, since they learned nothing from the Dragon Head Conflict and still think that they can control him to protect Japan should it ever be invaded by foreign ability users.

Eventually, when the timing is right, Shibusawa gets invited back to Japan by Dazai. At the same time he is told by Fyodor (can you see the manipulation happening on both sides?) that Dazai’s ability is the ultimate ability that will finally complete him, and so Shibusawa eagerly comes to Yokohama. 

From here on out, as far as Shibusawa is concerned, it’s just a matter of covering the entire city in fog, killing Dazai and then taking his ability. Since Dazai cancels the fog itself with his ability, Shibusawa does need to kill him first, since the fog will work just fine on a corpse. Unfortunately, Shibusawa, however smart he is, is not in control of the plot in this movie. That control is left entirely to the combination of Dazai and Fyodor.

Intermezzo: Singularity Crash Course

Let’s do a lightning quick crash course on singularities before continuing, because you’re going to need that to understand what is happening in the next part. While Stormbringer was released after Dead Apple, I’m still going to be leaning heavily on and paraphrasing the information provided in that novel since it gives a really nice overview.

Abilities are bound to rules, just like everything else. No organisms other than humans, such as plants or monkeys, can possess an ability. Each human can only have a single ability, and when they die the ability disappears with them. Finally, there is a limit to the strength of any such ability.

But what if you wanted to go beyond that limit? What if you wanted to play with the natural laws of this world? What if you wanted to get really silly with it? Well, in that case, you can try your best at creating a singularity.

Singularities are defined as “the interaction of multiple abilities that develops into a higher-level phenomenon different from the original abilities”. This mostly exhibits itself in a massive release of energy, but rarely there are semi-stable versions of them. Singularities aren’t bound to conventional rules, and can be much more powerful for that exact reason.

As for creating singularities, there are two defined ways. The most reliable method is to have two contradicting abilities clash with each other. This leads to fun mental exercises, think “unstoppable force meets immovable object”, or, two ability users who can both see a few seconds into the future fighting to the death (sound familiar?). As a second method, an ability can also contradict itself, essentially causing the same result, but it’s a lot more finicky.

“Dead Apple”

The latter part of the movie revolves around exactly the creation of such a singularity, as all planned out by Fyodor, and accurately anticipated by Dazai. Let’s lay out all the layers of this.

Shibusawa is after Dazai’s ability. Meanwhile, Dazai is trying to stop the fog to save Yokohama. As for Fyodor, we’ll get to him in a second.

Dazai “teams up” with Fyodor and betrays Shibusawa to put a stop to the fog. The idea of this is that Fyodor combines two abilities from Shibusawa’s collection, which Dazai can’t do himself without canceling them: the ability to pull abilities in a surrounding area close, and the ability to merge abilities together. When these two are merged, together they create an ability that will absorb Shibusawa’s entire collection, and then Dazai only has to touch this ability to effectively get rid of Shibusawa’s power source.

There is a specific reason why it has to happen like this, and Dazai just touching Shibusawa isn’t quite enough. Let’s mentally walk through the process if Dazai were to touch Shibusawa. The fog disappears for a bit (and Shibusawa with it, most likely), but Shibusawa now knows Dazai’s intentions. Fyodor will take Shibusawa’s side and now Dazai is at a large disadvantage. Ultimately, it doesn’t even solve the problem. We know from the Dragon Head Conflict that just destroying Shibusawa’s body is most likely not enough, and he will be able to resummon the fog (and his body) with time and energy. The problem needs to be cut off at the root, the ability crystals.

Unfortunately, Fyodor didn’t really team up with Dazai, instead choosing to team up with Shibusawa in order to get rid of Dazai. This is then where Shibusawa gets to kill Dazai, and discovers that wait, Dazai’s ability may not be what he’s seeking after all. However, the abilities are already merged, and Dazai’s ability joins them. This combines “the ability to merge” with “the ability to nullify”, which don’t exactly mix well. Does Dazai’s ability become part of the other ability? Does his ability nullify the merging ability before that can happen? It’s already part of it, but at the same time the merging can never happen. It’s contradictory, and thus a singularity is born.

Fyodor, meanwhile, hasn’t quite had his fill of betrayal yet, and decides to remind Shibusawa of what he is by killing him, reminding Shibusawa of his earlier death by Atsushi’s paw. All of this, killing Dazai and using his ability to create a singularity, having that power from the singularity then go into Shibusawa to create the Dragon, all of that was part of Fyodor’s plan. Shibusawa is only able to cover an entire city with fog because of the large amount of ability crystals he has collected, and so with enough power (like from a singularity) he can cover the entire world in this fog. Up until this point, neither Fyodor nor Shibusawa have seen a single ability user survive the fog, and thus it is the perfect method for getting rid of all ability users in the world, which does seem to be Fyodor’s end goal.

However, Chuuya swoops in and defeats the Dragon. Dazai was well prepared and had the antidote to the poison he was killed with hidden in his mouth, so he is alive and well again. That means that Dazai has his ability back and it cancels out the singularity space they both are in. It doesn’t completely get rid of the Dragon however, as some energy still lingers around the tower. 

Fyodor is still on the scene, and uses a part of the merging crystal that he saved which was used earlier to create the singularity to merge Shibusawa with the singularity, giving Shibusawa a very anime transformation into his final form.

At this point, as a result of Shibusawa’s transformation, the fog turns red. If this red fog then covers the entire planet as Fyodor is hoping, and you were to watch it from space, it would look just like a poisonous red apple. The name of the movie therefore refers to this plan of using Shibusawa to rid the world of ability users.

This idea of poisonous apples in this movie comes from two different sources. From Fyodor’s side, it is referring to the apple Eve ate in the Bible, the original sin. For Fyodor, there is poetic irony in this: the world will end with the same sin as it began with. The crime is the punishment. On Dazai’s side, it refers to Snow White, who bit the poison apple and died (temporarily). He already talks about this to Oda when he is sixteen, vaguely implying he knew all of this was coming as soon as he met Shibusawa during the Dragon Head Conflict. Since Fyodor was already around at that time and also had a hand in enabling Shibusawa originally, this may indeed be planned out this far in advance, but it’s always hard to tell with these guys.

Then the kids take over the fight for the rest of the movie, and Atsushi, Akutagawa and Kyouka work together to defeat Shibusawa’s final form in the form of a long, epic final fight. Shibusawa is finally defeated and it all ends happily ever after. 

The End.

Byakko VS The Dragon

…Or is it? You thought we covered the entire basic layer of the movie, so we’re done now, right? Think again! This is only where things start to become really interesting. Please note that this section will take some ideas that were already pointed out by other people, and build on those.

When looking at lore relevance of characters, Atsushi may not immediately spring to mind as one of the most important ones. Sure, he’s the protagonist of the main manga, but in comparison to the mystery surrounding Dazai or Fyodor he fades a little into the background.

Even in this post, an explanation about a movie that’s basically about Atsushi, I’m able to explain the basics of the movie without mentioning him much at all. And yet, the movie’s core conflict is not between Shibusawa, Dazai and Fyodor, but between Shibusawa and Atsushi.

While there isn’t a lot of information given about Shibusawa’s and Atsushi’s connection, what we do get is very interesting. Shibusawa is consistently referred to as a Dragon during Dead Apple, and while subtitles usually translate everything as “tiger”, Atsushi’s tiger is actually referred to as “Byakko” half of the time. 

Now what is the difference between any good ol’ normal tiger and the Byakko, I hear you ask. The Byakko is much more than an ordinary tiger, since it is part of the 四神 (shijin/ shishin), the Four Guardians of the Four Compass Directions, which the Dragon is also a part of. What you essentially need to know from this is that the Byakko belongs to the same group of creatures as the Dragon, and that this solidifies Shibusawa’s status as Atsushi’s foil in this movie.

It also allows us to make a direct comparison between Shibusawa and Atsushi. The thing is, I have been lying to you a little bit. So far, I’ve been calling the Dragon a singularity. The truth is, it may not be. I know, I know, if it’s not a singularity, then what was that whole Dragon thing about?

Fyodor actually specifically tells us that the Dragon isn’t a singularity, but instead it’s “the true form of the chaos born from abilities”. (Note here that the Dead Apple light novel talks about Fyodor as if he is “reciting some Oracle”. Did Fyodor get this information from someone else?) Is this related to why Fyodor wants abilities gone from this world? Is there another layer to abilities and other creatures that BSD hasn’t even touched upon (think Lovecraft)? It’s hard to say at this point. All we can say is that the Dragon gets referred to as something else, and… that the Dragon is similar to the Byakko.

The tiger ability we see that got separated from Atsushi in the movie actually doesn’t follow the rules the other abilities do. It has a clearly defined face, and the red gem is not on its forehead. The gem found on the ability tiger is also red, which is in line with the other extracted abilities we see, but what gets extracted from Atsushi by Shibusawa is this blue cube. The weirdness continues in the flashback we see of Atsushi being tortured by Shibusawa. 

We see Atsushi’s ability leave him, but then in a flash of self protection instinct, he partially transforms into the tiger, claws and all, while the blue gem is outside of his body. Earlier in the movie it is shown that if an ability is extracted from an ability user, they no longer have access to the powers of that ability. Then how is Atsushi able to use his tiger abilities here? 

Granted, there is a bit of conflicting information within the movie about this, since during the final fight with Shibusawa this blue cube is once again extracted from Atsushi, but now he does lose his tiger powers. Could he resummon the tiger while not in possession of the cube if the situation is dire enough? Is this just a psychological thing because Atsushi is aware of it this time? Who can say. At any rate, this blue cube is connected deeply with Atsushi, but the clues given imply that it may not be the Byakko itself.

“That’s not an ability! That is me!”―Atsushi, reaching out to the blue cube in Dead Apple

To be honest, the movie does very little in explaining anything around Atsushi, instead raising more questions than answers. For that exact reason, the rest of this section will mostly be speculation about one possible angle on Atsushi’s ability that personally makes sense to me, but of course this is only one potential theory.

I do also want to add here that Atsushi personally goes through an arc in this movie from seeing the tiger as something separate to something that is intrinsically part of him. This can also be a reason for this final exclamation of “that’s me!” when he reaches out to the blue cube, but it doesn’t explain everything, which is why we explore an alternate possibility here.

My take on it is that the Byakko and this blue gem that get extracted from Atsushi are not the same thing. With the side note here being that they are probably deeply connected, but not the same regardless. 

My reasoning for this is that everything Atsushi-related you see in Dead Apple makes a little more sense when you consider the Byakko and the blue cube as two separate entities. The Byakko’s gem is red, the cube is blue. The Byakko is framed as something separate from Atsushi, while he claims the cube is not an ability but he himself. Atsushi had access to the Byakko while the blue cube was outside of him. Shibusawa even makes a point of mentioning that the orphanage director, who correctly thought Atsushi was the tiger, had the wrong idea about Atsushi’s ability. The Byakko is definitely Atsushi’s ability, but this blue cube is… something else. 

And yet, the tiger is also deeply connected to whatever this blue gem is. Currently, one theory that makes sense to me is that the tiger is an ability that can be passed on, just like Demon Snow, that has the specific task of protecting the power of this blue gem. So, a two in one deal. Atsushi also gets referred to as “the one holding the Byakko ability” by Ivan, which would be in line with the Byakko being an ability that can be passed on as needed. Shibusawa makes a similar statement, calling Atsushi “the one clad in the Byakko”. Atsushi also has issues controlling his ability before joining the ADA, just like Kyouka and Tsujimura, who both also inherited their abilities. I would love to further speculate on this, but there is so little information on anything relating to this, so anything further would be completely baseless.

However, there is one more different clue given to us by the movie. Namely, what this comparison to the Dragon means for Atsushi as the one holding the Byakko.

Almost in the same breath as Shibusawa is recounting Fyodor’s words about the Dragon being the chaos of all abilities, the holder of the Byakko also gets its own description about its true form: the one opposing all abilities.

This relates to what the blue cube may really be. What Atsushi does to Shibusawa in his final moments is what I essentially believe to be this blue cube’s true power: it completely unravels an ability. The blue power eats up everything supernatural about Shibusawa until only his natural skull is left.

If you think this sounds familiar, it kind of does! I cannot ignore the similarity to Dazai here, though I do have to point out that Dazai can only cancel out an ability, and this blue cube power seems to… completely erase the ability itself, leaving no trace of it. The similarity to Dazai is further found the moment Dazai dies and his ability leaves his body. At first, his ability is white and vaguely similar to the blue cube before deciding that nope, this is just barely not it.

I have a hard time connecting this to anything larger simply because the series does not give a lot of clues on this subject. How did abilities come to be? How is the Book related to that, since it is not an ability or borne from an ability? And how does Atsushi factor into this? 

Shibusawa has been led to Atsushi since he believed Atsushi would grant him something special, something he had been looking for all this time. “That which every ability user desires.” 

This is actually a familiar story! This is not the first time Fyodor has led someone to Atsushi with the premise that he would be able to lead them to what they were seeking. The first two seasons of the anime follow that specific idea, of Fitzgerald wanting Atsushi so he can lead him to the Book.

The tiger as the guide to the Book is something emphasized again and again. While in English it gets translated as “guide”, the original manga panel said “道標（タイガービートル）”, or, “guidepost (pronounced: tiger beetle, in English)”. While this is partially just a funny pun, it also once again points to the tiger specifically as a guide.

It did leave me to wonder about the absence of a certain scene in the series. Fyodor has been sending other people to Atsushi for the entire length of the series, but has never interacted with Atsushi himself. For someone who claims to be looking for the Book, and knows that Atsushi is somehow the guide to the Book, isn’t that a bit weird? Is there a reason Fyodor won’t interact with Atsushi himself? Fyodor knew about Atsushi way before he joined the ADA, so it’s not like Dazai is particularly standing in the way here.

Regardless, this factor that makes Atsushi so special may very well be this blue cube. How does the power to completely undo abilities lead to the Book? Who knows. We simply do not know enough about the Book or the origin of abilities to say more about this. Maybe the true power of the blue cube is something else entirely.

What does all of this mean? Where will it all lead? Only the future (Asagiri) can tell.

The Unexplained and Weird

Welcome to the section I’d fondly refer to as “a collection of things I have no explanation for”. There is plenty of that in this movie, but I do want to touch upon them since not being explainable as of currently does not necessarily mean that they aren’t important in the future. Also, not having an explanation for these things is driving me insane and I need to share in my suffering. Let’s go! :)

Let’s get the big thing out of the way first.

Mukurotoride, my friend, my enemy. For those unaware, Mukurotoride is the name of the large black tower that Shibusawa, Dazai and Fyodor were chilling in for most of the movie. The name gets translated as “Skull Fortress”, but the kanji used gives the name more of a “Dead Man’s Castle” feeling, since it refers to a person long since dead more than a skull. My problem with this tower is as follows: it doesn’t make any sense. Whatsoever.

Why is it there? Fifteen establishes it’s there seven years before the current timeline, so a year before Shibusawa dies. I would’ve accepted it if the tower was a weird side effect of Shibusawa dying or something, but the current facts point towards this tower not having anything to do with Shibusawa at all. It’s also very decayed. How long has it been there? Who put it there? Is it relevant that it’s right next to Suribachi? Or in the Yokohama foreign settlement? (Side note: foreign settlements have not been a thing since 1899. What’s up with Yokohama having a foreign settlement?) No one seems to know anything about this tower, not even in the Japanese community. And then in-universe, everyone also seems okay with this wildly out-of-place tower that looks like it’s made out of human bones being there in the middle of the city? It’s giving me Sky Casino vibes.

Okay, now that I’ve gotten that out of my system, we can talk about Fyodor’s ability.

I want to start this part by explaining my personal stance on the current Fyodor theories, since it influences how I talk about what is shown of his ability in Dead Apple. There are a bunch of theories about Fyodor having an insta-kill ability that only works on non-ability users. Personally, I don’t subscribe to this theory, and I have multiple reasons for this.

First, I don’t think we’ve ever seen Fyodor’s ability being used. At the end of Cannibalism a cop dies as soon as he touches Fyodor. In the manga abilities don’t have a special shine effect, but in the anime they do. However, in the anime there was no ability-shine here.

A stronger argument, perhaps, is that this happens right in front of Dazai, and Dazai immediately afterwards says he has no clue what Fyodor’s ability could be. He could be lying, of course, but since this is a common enemy he shares with Fitzgerald, who is the one asking him about Fyodor’s ability, I don’t see any reason for him to do so here. The whole murder reads a little bit like Fyodor just putting on a show for Dazai.

Finally, from a narrative viewpoint, killing with a touch is a little… useless? Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure it’s convenient, I guess, when you’re a terrorist who seeks to exterminate part of the global population. But there are many ways to kill a person, and Fyodor has shown time after time that he doesn’t need to rely on an ability to murder people.

The strongest argument for the insta-kill ability in my opinion is Fyodor himself saying “this is my true ability” before killing that kid who was enslaved by Ace. However, this may also be part of something else that is going on with Fyodor, in a way that is perhaps very similar to Atsushi.

Alright. Whether you agree with that or not is up to you. To get back to the movie, there are a few interesting clues provided about Fyodor’s ability.

The first is of course Fyodor’s iconic line when his ability shows up on screen: “Crime and Punishment are close friends.” Everything he says after that point is already referring to Shibusawa again, so this is the only clue he himself is willing to offer up. If we consider that the abilities that get split from their users represent inner conflict, all he is saying here is that he apparently has no inner conflict. Does he know something else about the world? Does he just know who he is? Honestly, I don’t think we’ll get anywhere talking about Fyodor’s mental state.

Then there is the “I am Crime”, spoken by Fyodor holding the skull, and “I am Punishment”, spoken by his ability holding the apple. This one is slightly more straightforward. The ability user being the crime, and the ability the punishment. I’m not 100% sure if this is actually referring to Fyodor himself, or if it’s just about Shibusawa again. The skull (Shibusawa, an ability user) being the crime, and then the apple (covering the world with fog through Shibusawa’s ability, thus punishing ability users) being the punishment makes sense when viewed like this, but it could be that Fyodor is somehow also referring to himself during these lines.

Okay, if Fyodor is apparently not willing to open up, we can gather some more info just from what we can see instead of what we’re told. Most of what this part covers is taken from these excellent posts, but I’ll summarize it here for the sake of completion. Fyodor’s ability looks different compared to most other abilities. Most of the abilities shown in the movie have a blank face without any features, and have their gem on their forehead. The exception to that first part, interestingly enough, is Elise, Mori’s ability. This is most likely because she has physical form as an ability to begin with. Which then raises the question: does Fyodor’s ability also have a physical form outside of the fog? His ability looks identical, so that would imply some sort of clone ability. Next to this, Fyodor’s epithet is “The Conjurer”, which would be in line with him being able to create another copy of himself. (Though I should add here that the Japanese seems to just refer to him as “魔神”, which can be any type of evil spirit. However, if I’m not mistaken, the “Conjurer” should be from the official translation, but let me know if I’m mistaken on that.)

Finally, there is the position of the gem on Fyodor’s ability. Nearly all other abilities have their gem on their forehead, but for some reason Fyodor’s ability has his on his hand. The only other ability that has its gem not on its forehead is… the Byakko. I don’t have an explanation for this one, but the weirdness should be pointed out, since it’s another way in which Fyodor’s ability deviates from the others.

Next to the above, there are two other weird details I want to quickly touch upon.

First, the knives in the apples in the dish in Mukuroride, as well as the apples with a knife in them in general, as they are the theme of this movie. I believe this to be of a more metaphorical touch, so we won’t read too much into it, but it does have physical consequences that tie back to the title as well.

This exact shot is used four times throughout the movie, but with a varying amount of knives stuck in the apples. It starts with one, then two, then three. The room starts with just Dazai, then Shibusawa enters, then Fyodor. With each of them showing up, another knife appears in an apple. This is then a metaphor for these three being the instigators behind the Dead Apple incident. These knives in the apples can also be seen as their calling cards, as they were left both at the bar and at the scene of the crime where that agent was killed who was supposed to meet with Kunikida and Tanizaki. 

In a later scene, it cuts again to this frame, but a knife and the skull has disappeared. These both get taken by Fyodor. The knife is used eventually to kill Shibusawa, but Shibusawa also took one of these knives to kill Dazai with. Either way, these knives that have been in these apples are used to murder, once again corroborating the connection between death and apples.

And finally, the relevance of the moon. 

There are a few impressive shots of the moon in Dead Apple, where the moon is shown to be enormous, to the point where even the light novel points out how extraordinarily large it is. The novel also points out that the blue cube crystal holds a similarity to the moonlight. Just symbolism to show that it’s connected to Atsushi, or something more? The other side of the page in the main series will also only be written on the night… of the next full moon.

The Point of It All

I hear a lot of “Dead Apple doesn’t matter to the plot, just watch it for the Soukoku scenes and move on”. And while I do agree that it’s not mandatory viewing to understand the storyline that corresponds with season three onwards, I do think there is more to Dead Apple than most people give it credit for.

I always like to ask myself after reading a book or watching a movie: “Okay, so what was the point of that? What was I meant to take away from this?”

For example, in essence Stormbringer is a case study on singularities. Likewise, BEAST is a study into the limits of the Book, and all other side stories similarly have a message, however big or small.

So what does Dead Apple establish? Why bother?

I hope by now you agree that Dead Apple seems to be the introduction to explaining more as to what is so special about Atsushi. This seems to go deeper into chapter 28/29 of the manga, or season 2 episode 8 of the anime, where Atsushi also has some weird things going on with the tiger. What this exactly is, or where this seems to be going is unclear for now, but the Dead Apple definitely emphasizes Atsushi’s importance as well as the concept that there can be something more than just abilities.

In-universe, there are also reasons for this conflict to happen.

Most likely both Dazai and Fyodor knew the end result long before the conflict ever started. It’s their reunion in a way, so I suppose they are both seeing how the other’s condition is at the moment. They may even have gathered some intel somehow? It’s almost like collecting metadata, they won’t have a direct conversation about important things, but they try to collect information just by seeing how the other acts, to see if the other lies within prediction.

Aside from that, on Dazai’s side, except for foiling Fyodor’s plan and keeping Yokohama safe, the Shin Soukoku dynamic also gets strengthened, something Dazai is actively working on. On Fyodor’s side, next to giving the whole “eliminating all ability users” a good honest shot, he also gets to collect a lot of intel on the opposing side. For example, Fyodor in Dead Apple gets to see Corruption up close, which may potentially be relevant.

Finally, from a storytelling perspective, it sets up a lot for the third season, especially in character interactions and relationships, e.g. Atsushi & Akutagawa, Dazai & Chuuya, Kyouka, Fukuzawa & Mori. It should be noted that some characters literally have been intentionally regressed to make the ending make more impact. Whether that was a good decision or not is not why I’m here. You should just know that it’s intentional. You could chalk it up to Atsushi losing his ability impacting him and his behavior a lot, if you wanted to justify it somehow. The Order of the Clock Tower also gets its first anime appearance, showing Agatha Christie on screen, who will most likely play a more important role later on. Likewise, Dead Apple is the introduction to Fyodor as a villain, where you get to see him for more than just a few flashes.

Trivia and Fun Details

I suppose this section is skippable. But who doesn’t love trivia? This is by no means an exhaustive list of everything included in this movie, but rather an overview of what I personally caught, understood and thought relevant to include.

The “Dragon Head” in the Dragon Head Conflict refers to a Qilin, which are said to have similar heads to dragons. Since the conflict centered around the White Qilin, this is where that name comes from.

At some point Akutagawa and Kyouka use a mafia code to refer to a passageway. The code “0505” refers back to Atsushi’s birthday.

The symbol ᛟ found on the outfits of the Mukurotoride squad refers to inheritage, since Shibusawa inherited his own ability. More information about that here.

Dazai at some point meows at Fyodor. This is a very sassy way of telling Fyodor that he will personally eradicate all of Fyodor’s rats in Yokohama, including Fyodor himself. (The light novel calls it a “tedious” meow. Lmao.)

The music from Dead Apple seems to be recycled in season three of the anime. I’m guessing to save on budget?

Atsushi’s door that he eventually opens to unlock his hidden memories has its own music motif that shows up every time he thinks about Shibusawa, the fog or his memories associated with killing him. Try to pay attention to this, it’s really cool.

The motif of the door is also a tune that sounds a lot like the track named Dead Apple, further showing Atsushi’s relevance in his movie.

The lyrics of the soundtrack tell their own story. When the Dead Apple plot first takes off and Dazai is at bar Lupin, a song called My Prince plays telling of Snow White who is sleeping and waiting for her prince. However, it seems to be a spin on the classic, where indeed Snow White chose to knowingly bite the apple knowing it was poisoned, in much the same way as Dazai knew he was going to be poisoned in Dead Apple. Le Cheval Noir tells of how bored the singer is, and how nothing is special to them anymore. This plays during the scene where Dazai talks to Shibusawa, showing Shibusawa’s apathy towards everything. Mein Prinz, the song that plays as Dazai gets backstabbed, is nearly exactly the same song as My Prince, but now more dramatic and in German. This is a clue that Dazai saw this coming from before the Dead Apple conflict even started, and it’s now up to Chuuya again to save him. Overall, Dazai is leaning into the Snow White aesthetic hard in Dead Apple.

And finally, a list of everything the light novel insists refers to the theme of poisonous red apples: the red apples with the knives in them, apple suicide, the merged abilities producing a red sphere, the singularity that results from that in all its forms and the planet covered in red fog. If it’s red and spherical, you can just assume it should represent a deathly apple.

TD;DR

Recapped extremely briefly:

The Dragon Head Conflict introduces Shibusawa as a villain who was kept by the government but went off the rails. Shibusawa’s ability is a fog that splits ability users from their abilities. If ability users die, Shibusawa obtains their ability. Shibusawa died and inherited his own ability, also causing him to lose his memory. Therefore he wants to obtain Dazai's ability in order to gain what he feels he lacks. Dazai betrays Shibusawa together with Fyodor by combining abilities. However, Shibusawa kills Dazai first, adding Dazai's ability to the merged abilities creating a singularity. Fyodor kills Shibusawa, causing him to regain his memory of being previously killed by Atsushi. A dragon is created and defeated, and Fyodor's plan is revealed to be the covering of the entire planet in Shibusawa's fog, killing all ability users. This plan is foiled, but Atsushi is shown to have potentially another power next to his ability (the tiger). This power is possibly the ability to completely unravel abilities, and may be what makes Atsushi the guide to the Book. Mukurotoride is completely left unexplained in the movie, but there are clues given about Fyodor's ability that point away from an insta-kill ability, and more towards a clone type ability.

[herotome]

Hello !

I have no idea if this has been "asked" before, but I've finally found the motivation to make my own vn/dating sim. I was wondering if you had tips or "warnings" to give based on your experience ?

I've mainly been struggling with gluing all of my scene ideas together, even after choosing the ones that felt truly relevant. I've got the main plot points down, but it's pretty hard to find what to put in between. I also have trouble coming up with player choices ideas.

I'd also like to mention that I'm very much looking forward to playing the full game, no matter how long it takes you to make something you'll be proud of. It's pretty rare for me to find a dating sim where all of the RO appeal to me. The MC's real cool too.

The writing, the sprites, everything's absolutely brilliant ! The UI really fits the game and looks real good too (graphic design major here !).

Thanks for reading ! (Hopefully there aren't too many typos, English's not my first language).

I love hearing when people are inspired to make their own games! In fact I got to know @qkayoostudio from an ask just like this. 😁

Honestly, I struggle with the same things. In between important scenes, often I'll need to put some sort of transition... and coming up with that transition can be very challenging when I'm dry on ideas.

Similarly, dialogue choices (which used to be my FAVORITE part of writing) have become more difficult to write, because working on the main plot(+art direction+code+sound cues+etc) drains a lot of my creative energy, so there can be very little left to put towards the small things.

It sounds like you're focused in the right areas though! I guess my advice is... try not to sweat it. You can always put in a placeholder "insert dialogue choice here" and come back later. Some of my most popular choices and lines are added in waaaaay later in the process, if that makes sense.

A lot of my most recent script is peppered with "idk I haven't written this part yet."

Other advice...

For the most part, small indie games that die in development come from two realms of inexperience:

giving up too early

pushing oneself way too hard

Learn about burn out. Try not to do it. Your body will pay the price. If you're pulling all nighters to finish a project faster, consider that the project will be unfinished for even longer if you crash out from sheer exhaustion. Get some sleep and take care of yourself, that's the best way to ensure a project gets finished, period. You can't finish your game if you're unwell or dead.

As long as you're still alive and willing to work on it, the project isn't dead. I remind myself of that a lot.

[pinkkop]

This week's recap is brought to you by Jun clearly learning something new about himself in My Stubborn in the short period of time where he thought there were two Sorns because he thought Thanu was Sorn.

Hope he didn't get too disappointing when he realize it was just his eyes playing tricks on him.

QL Recap for Week 23

The 2nd of June to the 8th of June

🇹🇭 My Stubborn

Episode 8 of 12 || Airing on: iQiYi, Sunday

Oh, sweet Jun! It seems like they're both convinced the other person won't like them the way they obviously like each other and sadly Sorn is pretty emotionally constipated so actually talking about it won't happen any time soon. It's a glorious mess and I love it! It works because it makes sense for who they are as people and where their relationship started, that they're reacting the way they are. Glad Thanu was at least able to be the voice of reason this episode and hopefully some of the things he said broke through to them. I did cave and start reading the book but I haven't caught up to where the show is yet.

🇹🇭 Pit babe 2

Episode 6 of 13 || Airing on: iQiYi, Friday

I love how Babe and Charlie's problems have slowly escalated and now come to a head. It felt so inevitable and makes so much sense for the characters. At least now Charlie knows that Willy really is up to something bad. Pairing wise I'm definitely more invested in Kim and Kenta and North and Sonic at this point. Both are just have such a delicious dynamic. Kenta being faced with actually being cared for for the first time and North and Sonic's fear of changing their relationship leading to all these unspoken things between them. It's just so good!!

🇹🇭 The Bangkok Boy

Episode 7 of 12 || Airing on: Gagaoolala, Saturday

I appreciate that we're shown exactly why Sun is The Bangkok Boy this episode. He's resourceful and tenacious and has a way with people that make them want to rally around him. Mr. Joe definitely also sees this which is going to become a problem in so many ways. Both through Jack's jealousy and Mr. Joe deciding he's too big of a threat and has to take him down asap. I'm glad Mei has Peace and I really hope Cherry doesn't misunderstand their relationship to a point where she backs off completely. Mei deserves so much goodness in her life! I really like how this show has created a bunch of characters that you can't help but root for, even if they are flawed. It makes it easy to be invested in the story.

🇹🇭 Knock Out

Episode 4 of 12 || Airing on: WeTV, Friday

Thun and Keen are the cutest! I love that they're already dating and I hope they keep being decent communicators. I'm not big on Mawin and his plot line because I don't really find his gambling to be an interesting plot but maybe that'll change.

🇰🇷 ToGetHer

Episode 2 of 12 || Airing on: Gagaoolala, Friday

I love watching these women flirt! I'm invested even if I don't have any particular pairings I'm rooting for at this point. I will say though that even before they revealed their jobs and ages my favorite was and is Seoyeon. Also, I love that they're almost all vaguely my age.

🇹🇭 The Next Prince

Episode 6 of 14 || Airing on: iQiYi, Saturday

Ramil is such a bitch, I love it!! The trip out of town felt a little weird, especially because Prince Calvin was the main reason why they went but then they made him such a passive character during the trip. I do appreciate the protector suddenly being the one needing protection but I'm definitely more invested in Ramil and Paytai at this point. There's just so much to uncover here and I want to know more so bad.

🇹🇭 Reset

Episode 1 of 10 || Airing on: iQiYi, Monday

Good first episode, I'm intrigued! The acting is on point and I'm loving Pond and Peterpan already. I'm a little worried about the time travel aspect but since it's only the first episode I'll try to lean into the show.

🇹🇭 I Promise I Will Comeback

Episode 3 of 10 || Airing on: WeTV, Monday

This episode convinced me a lot more about TK and Victor as a pairing. The move with the camera was smooth and the following legsies (it's footsies, but with legs!) and hand touches were really cute. Nankrai is still my boy and after I noticed that Nankrai is second in the intro, it made me think (and hope) that this show will give me both pairings. I don't believe that they'll spend this much time on Nankrai's feelings and subsequent heartbreak if we don't get at least some form of TK/Nankrai.🤞🕯️🕯️🕯️

🇹🇭 Boys in Love

Episode 8 of 12 || Airing on: Youtube, Sunday

I love Shane and Kit and their story so much and I felt so much for Per in the aftermath of him kissing Tar, but all this was kinda overshadowed by how annoyed I was by Mon's mom this episode. She has consistently been the worst parent by being super strict, manipulating Kim and Mr. Tan, and abusing her power as a teacher, which she kept on doing this episode. This wouldn't be a problem for me if this was touched on in the plot but instead of doing that, GMMTV just decided to pretend it didn't happen and now she's able to be chill and joke around with the kids who are also playing along with her change of character?! Makes no sense! If you're going to make a shitty parent character, at least make it consistent and with relevant consequences, GMMTV!!

🇹🇭 The Ex-Morning

Episode 3 of 10 || Airing on: Youtube, Thursday

I'm a little scared of what the reason was for Tam to break up with Phi. Not because I think it's going to be really bad but because I worry that it'll be stupid or simple and ruin the story. GMMTV tends to be scared of making their main characters properly flawed so it very well might just be something simple and stupid. I just feel so bad for Phi this episode and his suffering would feel kinda meaningless if the reason for the breakup was stupid simple and easily solved.

🇨🇳 The Sparkle In Your Eye

Episode 6 of ? || Airing on: Gagaoolala, Saturday

Mr. Producer is creepy AF and I really hope Su Yi stays away from him. I was a little confused why director guy ripped into only Su Yi in the voice-over session, weren't they both the reason why the session went poorly? It felt like I was supposed to feel really bad for Su Yi during all the auditions, but it seems like he got the past job through connections so of course he isn't good at going to auditions. It makes perfect sense that the people holding auditions would be hesitant about casting someone who doesn't have any training, especially when he also doesn't wow with his performance, so that section felt a little pointless or maybe it just didn't work as intended. I have no idea where this show is going but I'm intrigued even if I'm a little scared for how this will end.

🇹🇭 My Sweetheart Jom

Episode 4 of 12 || Airing on: Youtube, Friday

This show at times is a little bit too slapstick for me and I'm not convinced by this pairing at this point. Yo is legit in school even if he got held back a year and Jom is a fully grown man with an established job and a position in the community. Also it was frustrating to see Yo feel so secure in his own actions when he got in the fight with the other school boys, which for sure wasn't his fault, but he was much more violent than needed so he really wasn't entirely in the right. I'm still invested in the overall plot but I'm just not invested in the pairing or the characters.

🇰🇷 Sweetheart Service

Episode 5 of 12 || Airing on: Youtube, Friday

I keep struggling to say anything about this show so I think I'll leave this out of the recap going forward. It's cute but it just doesn't stand out.

That's it for this week!!

For links and airing schedule check out World of BL (Only for BLs)

[di-42]

2024 fic roundup

Finally getting round to doing this! Just in time for the end of the year!

Many, many thanks to @curiouspupsicle and @bellisima-writes for tagging me all those weeks ago, ant to @cheeseplants for creating the questions. Enjoy curious's answers here, bellisima's answers here, cheeseplants's answers here.

What fandoms do you write in?

Good Omens, only Good Omens, nothing but Good Omens.

How many words have you published in 2024?

133k. Huh! Me?

What is your greatest achievement this year?

In the context of fandom and fanfiction, being brave enough to put myself out there and share my work is probably my greatest personal achievement. But I'm also quite proud to have plotted an 85k fiction while working 55 hours a week (and being lucky enough to have a husband and friends to spend my free time with).

What are your favourite top three fics you wrote this year?

That's an easy one! None of my favourite three are the ones with more engagement, strangely enough!

And I Did, rated E, 85k.

While I know this could have been written much better, I am incredibly proud of this fiction. It's whole season 3 fiction where I managed to pour all my headcanon in a way that hopefully doesn't feel too forced. I think it has an original plot, good side characters and tension. I tried to throw in some humour wherever possible as well. It features Supreme Archangel Aziraphale and Grand Duke of Hell Crowley. They haven't talked for almost two years. The end of the world is approaching. They are on opposite sides. And they both know neither of them was ever going to make a different choice to the one they made.

Only Ever Meant For Someone Else, rated T, 9k.

My first human AU, wheee! It was so much fun to write! I think writing human AUs allows so much freedom, although one shots and shorter stories can be a bit harder than canon compliant short stories. But I had a chance to explore some versions of the characters that I don't really see in canon, but very much enjoy in fictions, and wanted to try my hand at that. And I liked the result! Written for the Scribbling Vaguely Downwards advent calendar.

Every year, the night before Christmas, taxi driver Aziraphale drives passengers to and from the hospital for charity. On the Christmas morning of 2023 he was ready to go home and rest with a cup of tea, a mince pie, and a book after a long night.

Guess who?

“No, you may not!” Barked the other. Then he started pacing up and down the pavement, rambling to himself. “Anathema’s going to kill me. She’s actually going to kill me! She had to go into labour on fucking Christmas day, just my luck!”

Oh, dear.

“In-into labour?”

The stranger stopped pacing and, yet again, looked at Aziraphale sternly. He joined together the tips of his right thumb and forefinger, and punctuated his next words with a gracious movement of his hand.

“Yeah. It means she’s about to give birth.”

“Does it, now.”

Angel! Angel! They're At It Again! rated M, 5k

I really love this little story of mine. I've been told that it made some readers cry and laugh at the same time, and it doesn't get much better than that.

It's the year 2030. The world never ended. Aziraphale and Crowley are living happily and safely together as a married couple. Everything would be well, if it wasn't that lately Aziraphale has been a bit busy. A bit distracted. Now, Crowley can't have that, can he? He seeks the advice of his girlfriends, who unwittingly give him an idea on how to liven up his marriage.

A fluffy story about how we get to a certain cottage.

What was your biggest pit of despair moment?

Tying up all the loose ends in And I Did. Sometimes it felt like I was just hitting a wall and I couldn't possibly ever go through. I felt so embarrassed -mortified, really- that some people had read the story up to a certain point and I had just to let them down, because I couldn't possibly write anything that would make sense with the rest of the story. Even though the main points were planned from the beginning, there were still all those little details that write themselves, basically, and I had no idea what to do with some of them towards the end. I still don't know how I managed to pull it off, honestly, but somehow I did it in a way that I found satisfying enough.

What have you learned?

That people are so much better than I am. Really. And I don't mean at writing fiction. Well, people are better than me at writing fiction, but that's not what I mean here. The amount of people who are ready to read about someone else's ideas and headcanons with an open mind, enjoy stories that they don't necessarily agree with, is astounding. I have very much to learn from this community.

What fic did you want to do but never made it off the ground?

I could tell you. But then I would have to erase your memory.

A fiction that has never made it off the ground is a fiction that has yet to make it off the ground.

Did you beta any fics? Any favs you want to shout out?

I was asked a couple of times, but due partly to my lack of time, partly to English not being my first language, I had to reluctantly decline. I do offer my thoughts on my betas' fictions, though. One of them hasn't published her work yet, and the other has a fantastic one shot on Ao3, called The Corset.

Aziraphale never understood just why he had been issued with a body likes his. He was the Guardian of the Eastgate, after all! So when in the 17th century corsets for men were fashionable again, he had an idea ...

What three fics have you read this year that you love?

Hah! We both know it's not going to be only three, don't we?

Some of these fics were written before, some long before, 2024, but I only read them this year. It's quite hard to pick my favourites among so much talent and creativity, but I'll do my best. I also can't help but notice that my all time favourites are not among the superpopular ones, so please don't be shy and check them out! (And leave kudos and comments!)

The Beginning Of The End (Again), rated M, 78k.

Season 3 fiction full of plot, great characterisation, humour and pining. It has of course a happy ending. It is beyond me how this fic didn't get more engagement, especially when it first came out, closer to the end of season 2.

The Anon Before Christmas, rated E, 66k.

One of my favourite human AUs. The characterisation is spot on and the slow burn is just absolutely perfect. But I did love the whole array of characters surrounding Crowley and Aziraphale. I love how this story is as much about friendship and chosen family than it is about love and romance.

The Bookseller And The Garden, rated T, 13k.

Canon divergent fiction where Crowley is a demon stationed on earth, Aziraphale is an angel stationed on earth, but they have never met until present day. There's no end of the world in sight, only an angel and a demon falling in love and not knowing how to break it to the other that they're not human. I laughed all the way through.

Wrong Turn, rated T, 37k.

Honestly, I don't know why this fiction touched me so much. I just couldn't stop thinking about it for days after I finished it. It's a post season 1 fiction where Crowley suddenly finds himself in a parallel universe at the time the apocalypse is just about to happen. The Crowley and Aziraphale in that universe have a different history to our Crowley and Aziraphale. All our Crowley wants to do is to go back to his universe and his very own angel, but how? As you follow the main plot and focus on Crowley's thoughts and actions, you'll start slowly feeling the other story get hold of you, and it won't let go until the very end and beyond.

Happiness, More Or Less, rated M, 21k

This human AU moved me so very much I cried. Crowley moves into his new flat in Soho, only to discover the flat in haunted by the ghost of the owner of the bookshop downstairs. I won't tell anything else about the plot other than it does have a very sweet happy ending, and it gets there via a rollercoaster of emotions. This is really one of those fictions that leave me in awe of the fandom's talent and creativity. Read it, read it, read it!

One last one that I haven't finished reading yet, but I know it's one of my all time favourites, is The Last Angel, rated E, 162k.

Canon divergent fiction where Crowley and Aziraphale were never assigned to earth, Armageddon happened and hell won the war. I've said many things about this fiction, among which that I can't believe the writer does this in her spare time and writing is not actually her job, and this is the most Good Omens-y fic I have ever read. It's astoundingly good.

What ideas are percolating for next year?

Watch out for The Angel Horror Show! When I learned that Peter Hinwood, the actor who played Rocky in The Rocky Horror Picture Show didn't have a long career as an actor, bout instead went on to become an antiques dealer, I knew I had to write this fiction with Aziraphale as the actor who many years ago played Angel/Rocky in The Angel Horror Show and subsequent film The Angel Horror Picture Show and is now living a comfortable life as a book and antiques dealer, and Crowley as the actor who played Demon/Frank, and went on to become a successful movie and theatre actor and director. I've just started writing it and I'm extremely excited about it!

Who do you want to thank?

Without the shadow of a doubt @sabine-smitten-obviously and IneffableShortCake who have been so incredibly generous with their time and support in the past 8 months! But also everyone who's ever left me a comment making me feel like my stories were liked, from the long comments to the ones with just enthusiastic syllables, from the incredibly witty ones to the more personal ones, thank you, thank you, thank you!

Tag, answer any Qs that suit and play along!

I think because I'm so late in the game that most of the writers I would usually tag have already been tagged by someone else, but perhaps a few haven't done this yet.

@smua70 @ngk-668 @ineffable-duck7

And anyone who wants to answer!

This was fun!

[minor-annoyance]

rate every Gordon Korman book you read, I dare you 🤠🤠🤠

OKAY OKAY SO THIS IS GONNA BE LONG

There's very small spoilers so sorry 😓

Ungifted: 11/10

I'm very biased here but I genuinely love this book. It's definitely doesn't have as that interesting of a premise compared to other books, but this book is the one that truly made me love Gordon Korman books. Also almost everyone is neurodivergent in this book

Supergifted: 6/10

The sequel to ungifted. A lot less neurodivergency. It focused a lot more on noah than donovan (I love noah, don't get me wrong, but still) and everyone was so mean to donovan in the book. Here's a list of all the NICE things people did for him in the book

Took the pressure off of him (backfires)

A hug

A GENUINE apology 🎉🎉🎉

A backhanded apology (he still accepted it)

And a medal (it makes sense in the story)

Numbers 2-5 happened in the LAST 3 CHAPTERS. Noah was extremely flanderized and all the characters from the previous book became bg characters. GK brought a bg character as a big character and he fucking sucks. No one likes you, Brad, shut up about the god damn corps. It gets a 6 bc it's ungifted. Hopefully Gordon Korman does better in the next book 🙏

Schooled: 8/10

Nice book. Not much to say about it. Capricorn is kind of bland even though he's supposed to be interesting. There's a kind of weird age gap crush and a big power imbalance between two characters (bully and victim). This is the first book I read by GK so I might also be biased here.

Restart: 8.5/10

Made me really sad. I think this is one of the few books where a character cries so it got points for that. I fucking hate frank ambrose.

Whatshisface: 9/10

Oh my god I love this book. Cooper Vega might be the best and most relatable character in a Gordon Korman book. This book pulled at my heart strings. It has a much less realistic plot but it's still amazing. Roderick Northrop is my little baby. I am his parent now. It also opens up to a lot more aus.

The Unteachables: 8/10

A very sweet book. Another book where none of the characters are neurotypical. Mateo is VERY clearly autistic.

Unplugged: 8/10

Also cool. It gets WILD nearing the end. I can't talk about how good this book is without spoiling it 💔

The Superteacher Project: 8/10

This book is sweet and has an interesting premise. It kind of pisses me off bc it was written to be suspenseful and you're supposed to be surprised when it's revealed that aidact is a robot (if you haven't already guessed) BUT IT WAS SPOILED IN THE SYNOPSIS

Slugfest: 7/10

One of my least favorites. It's not as interesting as the other books and it was kind of boring. It's based around PE class so y'know

Slacker: 8/10

It was pretty hard to read at first bc it was really slow. It picks up the pace around the middle. The main character kind of sucks but it's in a good way y'know?

Level 13: 9/10

HOLY SHIT THIS WAS INSANE. This is slacker's sequel. The first book was about a gamer boy who's forced to help people with his fake club. This book is about the same kid getting STALKED AND HARRASSED by a GROWN MAN and the boy gets HOSPITALIZED. went from 0 to 100 real quick.

Linked: 8/10

This book was dark but it really was a good book. All of the kids were very realistic (for better or for worse.) Most of the characters have some problems that still aren't fixed/bettered at the end of the story. Tw for racism and white supremacy in this book.

Mixed-Up: 8.5/10

Very gay. Also a book with obviously fictional themes. Another book I cant get too much into without spoiling 😭 Deals with greif and parental death/being orphaned.

Operation Do-Over: 9/10

First off, the main character is dead. Maybe. We don't actually know bc it's left up to the reader but it's universally agreed upon that he's dead and time traveled. Good book. Wish GK showed more of Ty and Mason's friendship beyond them falling apart. I know there was that one chapter that talks about how much they cared about each other but it was all talk. No showing.

The Fort: 10/10

The might be the darkest Gordon Korman book ever. Most of the children are suffering at home and they don't deserve it (bc they're children obviously) so it really brings out my parental instincts. Tw for mentions of drug use, and depictions of domestic violence (both against a spouse and a child)

Notorious: 8/10

I am literally zeebee tice. uhhh it's kind of boring at first but it gets a big better. mainly near the end tho... I'm only really giving it an 8 bc of the main characters they're awesome. Especially zeebee. I'm zeebee. Uhh warning for mentions of crime? Also warning for possible animal murder and stalking.

Faker: 9/10

ANGST!! YAY!! Daddy issues seem to be very relevant in Gordon Korman's books. It took me a bit to get into the book but probably not for others. I also don't understand money or scams so it probably could've been a 9.5 if I did.

6th Grade Nickname Game: 8/10

Really short. Also gay. Uhh that's it

No More Dead Dogs: 8/10

Also kind of short. Uhh basically glee (I haven't watched glee my friend said this.) Father issues in the book so yay! I really want to listen to the Dead Mangoes.

The Juvie Three: 9/10

OH MY GODDD MY BABIES THE BOYS ARE MY BABIESSS. Even though I'm the same age as them. Warning for gangs and mention of manslaughter. Tw for mentions of child abuse.

Old School: 7/10

I think it's a less interesting version of Schooled. Less action. ALSO GORDON. WHY. WHY ARE THERE NO TEARS. ONLY HIS EYES WELLED UP. THERE WAS A FUNERAL

Maxx Comedy: 8/10

Pretty nice book. Can't really say much about it. The jokes weren't really funny, it was more so the situations. Max, Maude, Sydni, and Big are totally in polyamorous relationship. Oh yeah one of the characters' name is Big Byrd. So...

Pop: 7/10

It was okay, I'm not very interested in football but the story was so sad. also tw for FUCKING SUICIDE HOW DID WE GET FROM "i wan play football" TO "GUY COMMITS"

Sorry this is so long. Love your art btw!!

Also I'm sorry I didn't get to this fast enough :(

I haven't checked Tumblr in a while

(Yes, I did come back and edit this post for reviewing new books)

[kenjakusbrainstem]

Soft Tissue (Kenjaku x Reader)

Contains: Making out with the Brain, afab but body barely described reader, piv sex, fingering, riding, and very little plot.

Hey gamers, I woke up and immediately started writing this. Four hours later and here I am with this brain love fest, hopefully you like it as much as I do! The new episode really lit something inside me that I thought would simmer down at some point. Cross-posted to Ao3 under the same name, shared to twitter at kenjakusbrain, comment or reblog if you also can't stop thinking about the brain or liked the fic.

The sound of your front door opening and closing roused you from the nap you hadn’t intended to take. You had a feeling tonight might be one of the nights Kenjaku would choose to visit you, but you were never entirely sure unless he’d mentioned it directly. Though you were informed enough about his plans in the days leading up to the 31st to know that he would be in Kyoto on the 19th. Kyoto was where he’d requested you stay ever since they’d begun using that pitiful student as an informant. To make sure he didn’t let anything out, since Kenjaku couldn’t be sure that the boy wouldn’t come to his senses and break the vow they’d taken, he’d placed you here to keep a watchful eye.

You had wanted to stay up, hoping you’d be right about Kenjaku stopping by, but you’d been far too exhausted. Near constant surveillance of the student’s hideout and his robot body simultaneously had you relieved when you watched Kenjaku and Mahito approach the building you knew the student to be in. Finished with your part of this mission, you’d accidentally let yourself fall asleep.

Kenjaku barely gave you the chance to greet him before hoisting your body into the air. A shocked sound left your throat as he pressed an excited kiss to your lips. Through your surprise you kissed back, feeling his tongue slip into your mouth to press against your own. The intensity of the kiss surprised you, Kenjaku was a passionate man but it had been years since you’d seen him this riled up after a single preparation mission.

Large hands manipulated your body, Kenjaku keeping you pressed against him while moving you into a standing position. As your feet touched the ground you felt his lips pull away from yours, leaving you trying to catch the breath he stole from your lungs. 

Looking up at him clearly for the first time since this leg of your mission started, you were again shocked to see such manic glee across his features. Kenjaku smiled down at you as if you were a celebratory meal he couldn’t wait to dig into. “Things went that well?” You asked, hoping he’d fill you in before you got too carried away. 

The smile on his face widened, hands squeezing your hips tightly before he leaned back down to kiss you once again. Less pure passion and more of a firm press of his lips against yours. Not that you minded, affection and Kenjaku didn’t always go hand in hand, so you accepted it whenever it was offered.

“They couldn’t have gone better. Watching Mahito evolve so rapidly under pressure is just astounding. And the boy’s use of a simple domain was eye opening, it’s something the newer generation of sorcerers nearly have mastered!” Kenjaku’s voice much more animated than normal as he spoke. His excitement was palpable, you could feel his fingers digging into your hips as he spoke. “It won’t be long now, the 31st is just around the corner.”

While you hadn’t known Kenjaku as long as others like Uraume, you’d been with him for quite some time now. This was the first time his plan had progressed so far. Everything was just falling into place around you, all of his work for the past century blending together, as if it was fated for him to finally succeed. The last time he was this excited, he’d just acquired his current vessel, another important piece to his plan.

“Soon we’ll be able to move past this and onto your main goal,” You said, bringing your hand up to his chest and pushing him back toward the couch he lifted you from. Seeing Kenjaku this worked up had quickly brought you out of whatever tiredness had taken over your body, his energy was magnetic and you couldn’t help but want to celebrate with him.

The smile on his face turned into a smirk as he allowed you to push him back. There had been points in working together that you were stronger than the vessel he inhabited, even if it wasn’t the case with his current form, you still knew just what he wanted in times like this. Before pushing him down onto the couch, you untied the golden fabric at his waist, slipping it off of him and tossing it to the side. While you didn’t dislike his vessel’s robes, they had proved to be inconvenient in the past at times like these.

“Impatient are we? What if I had just come to debrief you on the mission?” Kenjaku teased, using this moment to untie the belt that kept the rest of his robes closed. You took your chance to help him, reaching up and slipping the heavy material off his shoulders, not caring that it had fallen to the ground at your feet. It was something for the two of you to care about later.

The warm skin of his chest now bare under your fingers, you pushed him back again, forcing him down onto the couch. His hands left your hips briefly as you moved in to straddle his strong thighs. Settling on his lap you felt his hands return to your body, kneading the flesh of your ass. A soft moan caught in your throat at the feeling of him handling you roughly. 

Slipping your fingers into his long hair and gripping against his scalp, you pulled roughly, forcing him to look up at you. The smirk on his face was still there but the look in his eyes wasn’t quite as manic as before, dark eyes full of lust now stared up at you.

“I know you, Kenjaku. I know what you want after a job well done,” You whispered, hands flexing in his hair. Leaning down you pressed another open mouthed kiss against his smirking lips. He met your kiss with a soft moan as he let your tongue into his mouth without resistance. 

The kiss quickly turned desperate as he ground his hips against your core, the position leaving you open on top of him. You could feel his thick cock growing in his pants, rubbing against the soft shorts you fell asleep in. The thin barriers adding more friction to his movements, you knew it felt good for the both of you. 

Sucking at his tongue, you pressed your hips down against his, feeling a rush of pleasure fill your body. It had been long enough since the two of you were able to be intimate like this. Slowly you pulled your face back, breaking the passionate kiss for a moment. You were panting slightly, looking down to take in just how much you'd affected him. 

Kenjaku’s lips were flush from all the kisses, mouth slightly open as you watched his tongue trace along his lips. Like he was still trying to taste you. His cheeks were lightly dusted as well, you couldn’t wait to make him even more flushed. 

Your eyes were drawn higher, to his forehead, where you could see the stitches straining to keep shut. All the pressure you applied to his hair had done exactly what you’d hoped for. Kenjaku, the real Kenjaku, was barely visible to you through the stitches, fluid leaking out and beginning to slip down his face. You felt your heart beat faster at the thought of what you were going to do to him.

Not wasting any time, you ran your tongue gently across the seam in his forehead. The juices thick against your tongue as you brought them into your mouth greedily. You could feel his muscles tense under the attention, nails digging into your hips. After swallowing all the leaking fluid, you slipped your tongue against the straining stitches. Pressing open mouthed kisses to the seam, you could hear his breathing become more shallow with each movement you made.

One of his hands left your backside, quickly reaching up to tug at the stitching that kept him from you. Your grip in his hair loosened as you felt him remove the top of his head. It was a sight that you never fully got used to, you had always expected there to be much more blood. He gently moved the top of his vessel’s head further down the couch and out of your way. 

The soft flesh of his brain, the real Kenjaku, was now exposed to you. Fluid leaking down his face again but you were too focused on the delectable tissue before you to bother licking it all clean. Leaning back in, you kissed softly at the brain, allowing your lips to travel around the teeth in the middle. 

Kenjaku moaned at the feeling of your lips grazing his most intimate parts. Every press of your lips or pass of your tongue on his brain sent waves of pleasure throughout his entire body.

As you felt his hand return to your ass, you let your tongue slip into the open mouth at the center of his brain. The teeth nipped lightly at your lip before allowing you in, the kiss much messier than the ones you’d shared with his lips. You could feel his juices making a mess on your cheeks, you could feel an ache growing in your core at the thought of how you were making him feel.

“I can’t wait much longer,” Kenjaku said, voice trembling with pleasure as he spoke. You knew what he meant, you knew you were just as wet as he was in this moment. He slipped a hand between your bodies and teasingly slid his fingers against your pussy through the clothing.

Instead of taking off your shorts or stopping you to undress, you felt him rip the thin material, ruining the shorts and exposing you to him. Kenjaku’s thick fingers quickly dipped into your wet folds, teasingly rubbing against your sensitive clit before he pushed two fingers into your aching hole. 

You moaned into his brain mouth at the feeling, the thick fingers filling you up perfectly. Kenjaku’s teeth nipped at the tip of your tongue as you broke the kiss. You couldn’t help but focus on the feeling of his fingers inside of you, rocking back and forth you felt them crook inside you just right and brush up against that spongy spot that pulled another moan from your body.

Lost in the pleasure Kenjaku was bringing you, you let yourself get lost in his soft tissue. What started as soft licks and kisses to the folds on his brain had devolved into sloppy kisses. Your tongue gently pressing broad, wet strokes across every part you could reach.

Kenjaku’s moans were beginning to sound as desperate as he tried to focus on stretching your pussy. He wanted to draw this out, to tease you on his fingers and make you beg for his cock. That wasn’t going to happen tonight, you forced his hand the moment your tongue slipped in between his stitches. Kenjaku could feel his cock straining against his pants and leaking into the material he needed to bury himself deep inside you the way you buried your tongue into his brain.

You moaned against the teeth on his brain, tongue tracing them and begging for another kiss. Kenjaku’s fingers inside you felt too good, it was distracting you from your goal of making him feel more. 

As quickly as they’d entered you though, Kenjaku pulled his fingers out of your pussy, leaving you to press your hips down onto nothing. You whined at the loss, the mouth finally opening for you and allowing you to kiss your way back inside of him. 

You could feel Kenjaku repositioning himself as he used the hand still on your ass to hold you still. Too lost in the way your tongue felt inside his soft tissue to pay attention to what he was doing.

You felt the thick head of his cock rubbing against your pussy, slipping through your folds to rub against your clit. Moaning into the kiss you could feel his cock quickly become soaked in your juices, sliding through your folds with practiced ease. It seemed like Kenjaku was content to just grind against you and tease you both.

Putting one hand on his shoulder to balance, you reached down in between your bodies. Your hand finding his now soaking wet cock and guiding it back toward your aching hole. Kenjaku let you take the lead again, waiting for you to slip the tip of his cock inside you before moving again. 

As soon as he felt your tight pussy around his cock, he knew he wouldn’t be able to last. You eased yourself down, taking every inch slowly so as to not hurt yourself. The kiss you had been sharing with Kenjaku’s brain paused because of how much you were panting, teeth still nipping at your lips to continue. 

Once you felt Kenjaku bottom out in your pussy, you took a moment to savor the feeling of him inside you. His thick cock stretched you so perfectly, it felt so good. Your mind dizzy at how you could feel him throbbing with want inside of you.

A hand of his pressed against your cheek, pulling you out of your pleasure drunk state for a moment. You looked down at him, his face as flush as you knew yours was and his eyes brimming with tears. You were worried for a second until you remembered just how overwhelming it was for him to have his brain touched this much. Perhaps you had made more of a mess out of him than you realized already.

The hand pulled you down, lips meeting in a messy kiss. You moaned at the feeling, different than kissing his brain mouth, softer and less control. You could taste his brain juice still, it turned you on more to know that he was tasting himself as well.

Kenjaku gripped your hips tightly with both hands before lifting you up, letting just the head of his cock stay in your pussy. You sucked at his tongue, wanting desperately for him to fill you back up. He lowered you, stuffing you half full with his cock. It wasn’t enough.

“Kenjaku please, stop teasing,” You begged, though you had been the one doing most of the teasing tonight this was too much for you. 

Without wasting a moment, Kenjaku quickly began bouncing you on his cock, forcing you to take him all the way inside with each powerful thrust. The scream that left your mouth was cut off by his lips on yours. Keeping you quiet as he fucked you, the last thing you needed was to draw any neighbors attention. 

Soon your moans had died down and turned into whimpering mixed in with desperate kisses. The feeling of Kenjaku’s thick cock splitting you in half made your toes curl and eyes roll back. He was perfect for you, hitting every spot and rubbing the most sensitive parts of your tight pussy just right.

As close as he had been, Kenjaku needed more to get him back to that edge. Fucking up into your tight pussy as he manipulated your body to ride him felt amazing, but he wanted to feel as fucked out as you did. Breaking the kiss, Kenjaku’s lips kissed their way down, biting at your neck hard enough to bruise. He could feel your pussy clench around him at the violent act, you loved it almost as much as he did. It wasn’t enough though.

Your pleasured moaning was interrupted by soft, wet folds brushing up against your lips. Kenjaku had positioned the two of you the way you had been before, his brain right in front of you. You didn’t need to be told what to do, long licks at the soft tissue made Kenjaku’s cock throb inside you.

Keeping his pace as steady as he could, Kenjaku felt a rush of intense pleasure overtake him as you lavished his brain with licks and kisses. Not only did it make each thrust feel ten times better, his entire body felt like it was on fire. He hadn’t felt this sensitive in a long time, biting at his own lip to keep some of his needy sounds inside.

The thrusts inside you turned erratic quickly, Kenjaku’s even pace falling apart as you let your tongue past his teeth and into his brain mouth again. The kiss was sloppier than before, his juices and your saliva coating your chin as you got lost in him. Every thrust had you moaning into the mouth, you could barely keep up with it. 

You could feel Kenjaku’s thighs trembling under you, both of you so lost in pleasure that all you wanted to do was push each other over the edge. 

Nails biting into your skin, you could feel Kenjaku’s grip on you getting tighter with each violent thrust of his hips. Fucking up into your pussy blindly, the feeling of Kenjaku so deep inside of your pussy finally pushed you to your limit. You felt yourself let go, pussy squeezing him as if begging him to finish.

The tight heat of you coming all over his cock was more than enough to push Kenjaku over the edge, stuffing you full of his cock before releasing deep inside your pussy. His thrusts slowed enough to allow you a chance to breathe, while he still fucked you both through your shared orgasms.

Your tongue slid out of his brain mouth and teased around the folds, enjoying the taste and soft feel of the tissue. A gasping moan tore from Kenjaku’s throat, it was too much for him. His hands left your hips, leaving his cock buried inside of you just to fly up and pull your lips down to meet his. 

The kiss was languid, both of you came much harder than you expected. When you pulled back from the kiss, you could see his beautiful fucked out face. Brain fluid and your saliva on his flushed cheeks, you were sure you looked just as flushed and sticky.

Reaching over, Kenjaku picked up the top of his head and put it back on. Quickly sewing it back into place as you watched. You never got tired of watching his deft fingers apply the stitching. With his scalp back in place Kenjaku’s hands returned to your ass, lifting you into the air as he stood. His spent cock slipped from you as he carried you into your bedroom. 

“If I’m still here when you wake up, we can talk about what happens next in my plans. For now, let’s rest,” Kenjaku said, kissing your messy cheek as he crossed the threshold of your room.

[read-alert]

The Golem and the Jinni by Helene Wecker

This is a historical fantasy following an golem and a jinni in turn of the century New York. Commissioned as a bride, the golem is awoken on a ship bound for New York by her master who promptly dies of appendicitis, leaving her without a master and no sense of how to live in the world until a rabbi recognizes what she is and takes her in. The thousand year old jinni is accidentally released by a metalsmith from the flask he was trapped in with no memory of how he was trapped in the flask or why his powers have been limited, but the metalsmith takes him on as an apprentice. Eventually, the two find each other and form a friendship that they rely upon while struggling to hide their natures.

I enjoyed this one. The characters were charming and compelling and their struggle to hide the fact that they are supernatural lest they face fearful violence is a clear mirror for how immigrants face violence if they do not shed enough of themselves to assimilate, with the golem's extra struggles as a woman well reflected. The world of New York is fleshed out with the changing point of view across characters throughout the Jewish and Syrian communities and feels alive. I do think the time we spend with the communities is unbalanced in favor of the Jewish community, which makes sense given the author, but I do wish it had been a bit more even. There is a sequel, so hopefully things are more well balanced there. Also, this approach does mean the plot meanders for quite a while in favor of establishing the setting and characters, leading to a rather slow pace.

The book also feels conservative in relation to sexuality, though I am uncertain if that's an intended theme or simply a function of the setting. There's also an implication towards the end that the villian can't help but to be evil, and it's a very strange choice to take such a, for lack of a better term, bioessentialist approach when the golem's main character arc is fighting against and expanding beyond what she was made for. It's also very heterosexual, but that's not exactly surprising for a book published in 2013.

I had certainly had my quibbles with it, but overall enjoyed the characters and the world enough to add the sequel to my tbr and give it 4⭐️

[stuffnonsenseandotherthings]

July has been a month of ups and downs in that there have been some truly excellent shows for me to watch but there have also been plenty of let downs. It's also been a month where I've had more free time than usual thanks to my being on holiday and I've definitely taken advantage of that to cram in as many dramas as I mentally and physically can.

Anyway here's a song for the month (perhaps I listened to it so much to trick my brain into believing it's summer despite the constant rain) and let's get started!

4Minutes 🇹🇭👨‍❤️‍👨 [1/8]

What a strong start. I am seated and fully on board with wherever this drama wants to take me next. Something I really loved was how the first episode opened up so many questions with regards to various characters and their motivations and didn't just bank on the central plot device to build the intrigue (although there's plenty of intrigue there as well, and quite possibly already some answers). Yes I want to know about the seeing the future thing, obviously, but I also want to know about Great's relationship with his family, what kind of person Korn actually is, and why Tyme seems 5 kinds of jaded despite still being early in his career.

Battle of the Writers 🇹🇭👨‍❤️‍👨 [1/12]

This one.... I'm not sure about. Its selling point was (and still is) that it's fulfilling my wish to see Tutor and Yim as leads and, in that, it's doing very well indeed. But, I'm not going to lie, the only reason it's here instead of in the "dropped" pile is because I try to give every show 2 episodes before making a decision. It's not that there's anything wrong with it (it genuinely seems like a perfectly good show judging by the first episode) but I just don't think it's something that's going to be able to hold my interest and make me want to make the time I need to watch it.

Century of Love 🇹🇭👨‍❤️‍👨 [3/10]

I took a break from this one but I'm fully planning to catch up! I was enjoying it but I wasn't in the right head space for it at the time. I am now though so I'm going to rewatch the first 3 episodes and then hopefully be caught up in time for the last episode.

Knock Knock Boys 🇹🇭👨‍❤️‍👨 [10/12]

I am very attached to all the residents of the Knock Knock house but especially Latte, I 100% buy that he has no problems finding partners because he won my heart too. I also really like his and Almond's storyline, not just the romance (although that is very cute) but the things that built that romance up; the intimacy group, their friendship with Shawn and Jumper, their friendship, the careful handling of the hidden camera story arc... Some really good writing all around there. I'm a little less sold on Thamwa and Peak (despite them being the older characters their storyline feels less mature if that makes sense?) but I'm still enjoying them immensely.

Midnight Romance in Hagwon 🇰🇷👩‍❤️‍👨 [1/16]

I needed to take some time before I started watching this because I knew it was going to be such a rich watch. One episode in and it was already like eating a 3 course meal, there was so much to unpack and I am loving it. I know from @lurkingshan that this drama focuses much more on the education/Hagwon system than the titular romance and I also know that's not for everyone but, as someone who has a professional interest in the education system, that's more than okay with me and I'm curious to see what conclusions it comes to.

My Sweet Mobster 🇰🇷👩‍❤️‍👨 [14/16]

I'm really loving the main message of the show (restoration not perpetual punishment) and the vibrancy of the characters. The ex-cons are so much fun and the found family they make together is adorable and hilarious in equal measure. The central romance is pretty adorable too with the gruff-softie/feisty-with+heart combo, although it is probably the thing I'm least invested in as it's quite typical for a k-drama romance (I actually think I prefer the second couple thanks to their social taboo breaking). Overall it's been a fun ride and I'm going to miss it when it's done, I'd also definitely recommend it to anyone who enjoyed A Business Proposal (it gives off very similar vibes).

Sweet Home S3 🇰🇷 (👩‍❤️‍👨) [2/8]

I don't think any of the proceeding seasons could ever have hoped to live up to the masterpiece that was season 1, but, to be fair, I never expected them to. What made S1 outstanding was it's confined and cramped setting and how that was then used to explore the complexity of social relationships through the lens of monsters vs survivors. Once they left the apartment complex and opened up the world, they were never going to be able to maintain that in quite the same wau. Still, I'm enjoying S3 for what it is and I think it's going to be a good conclusion to the series.

The Trainee 🇹🇭👨‍❤️‍👨 [5/10]

This. Show. Is. Fantastic. It's the first time in a long time I've seen a drama treat the workplace seriously and not just as set dressing and so far it has hit all the right beats. Characters, comedy, themes, relationships, plots and subplots? All on point so far and developing so nicely in a well paced slow burn that it's obvious to me how much thought and care went into making this show. Also Gun is in equal measures cute, funny and relatable as Ryan and Jane is definitely Off's best and most crush-worthy character to date (which is great because that leaves Ink for me).

Lovestruck in the City 🇰🇷👩‍❤️‍👨

Lovestruck in the City was an incredibly ambitious drama, both in terms of its format (a semi-docu interview style mixed with a lot of flashbacks) and its central theme (an exploration of modern relationships, especially those coming to or after their end). I really wasn't expecting it and to say I was pleasantly surprised would be an understatement. However what started off as its strengths in the first half ended up becoming its weaknesses in the second; it wanted be and say too many things all at once and in the end what was innovative about it got lost in its attempts to still fit the typical romance k-drama mold.

⭐ rating: 7/10

Moonlit Winter 🇰🇷👩‍❤️‍👩📽️

I don't know how to describe this film other than quiet but with a lot to say. It doesn't shrink away from the harsh realities of growing up, falling in love and living in a society where part of who you are is treated like something dirty and the lasting trauma that inflicts, but it also offers solace and comfort and a quiet hope for healing and change. It broke my heart and healed it in so many ways and I'm going to be thinking about it for a long time to come and recommending it to whoever will listen.

⭐ rating: 8.5/10

I should start by saying that I drop dramas quite often and for a variety of reasons. I don't have to be not enjoying a show to drop it, I just have to not be enjoying it enough. This means that there are plenty of dramas in my dropped pile that I think are perfectly decent shows but which, at the same time, didn't pull me in enough within the first few episodes.

Love Sea 🇹🇭👨‍❤️‍👨👩‍❤️‍👩 [On Hold]

I thought Rak and Mut's storyline was great and I genuinely enjoyed their dynamic, even more so with all the meta around it. The very fact that this is "on hold" rather than straight up "dropped" is a testament to how much I am still taken with them. Unfortunately, however, Vi and Mook made me want to put my head through a wall every time they were on screen together and I couldn't, for my own sanity, keep watching a show where I was skipping half of each episode in a desperate attempt to escape even a glimpse of their scenes.

Red Swan 🇰🇷👩‍❤️‍👨 [Dropped]

I think I got to episode 3 or 4? It was very fast paced and there was plenty of intrigue and family plotting to keep me on my toes, which I did appreciate. It also did a great job of making me feel like something was actually at stake and that the protagonists weren't always going to win, which is pretty rare. Ultimately though, I have a lot of other dramas that I like a lot more and which are more to my taste in terms of genre and subject matter, so Red Swan gets the boot. I would consider picking it up again later though.

Serendipity's Embrace 🇰🇷👩‍❤️‍👨 [Dropped]

I found the first episode of this surprisingly boring, so much so that I spent a lot of it flicking through the news on my phone and didn't even consider watching the second. I'm glad that Chae Jeong Hyeop seems to be making a name for himself though. I really liked him in Love All Play and Castaway Diva (both of which I stuck with for longer than I normally would have for him btw), I guess now my hope is he gets some dramas that aren't quite so.... Middling.

Sunset X Vibes 🇹🇭👨‍❤️‍👨 [Dropped]

This is so very much not my style and I knew that going in but I was briefly led astray by how beautiful Bank and his outfits were.

Wandee Goodday 🇹🇭👨‍❤️‍👨 [Dropped]

I'm not going to go into loads of details because I've spoken enough about my feelings towards this drama. All I'm going to say is that it's the one that hurts the most to put here because I had such high hopes going into it. On the plus side, it's given me an OST to add to my playlist and 2 pairings I would quite like to see again.

Things have been relatively quiet on the K-dramas side of things these past few months but it finally looks like there's a number I'm looking forward to for August! Looks like I'm still going to have to wait for a K-BL to watch, however, I think the last one I watched was Love for Love's Sake and that was a depressingly long time ago now.

Monster Next Door 🇹🇭👨‍❤️‍👨 [Aug 8] ⭐

Romance in the House 🇰🇷👩‍❤️‍👨 [Aug 10]

Love Next Door 🇰🇷👩‍❤️‍👨 [Aug 17 ] ⭐ (being introduced to Jung Hae In through Something in the Rain means I am now automatically excited whenever he's in a drama).

The Paradise of Thorns 🇹🇭👨‍❤️‍👨 [Aug 22] ⭐

Cinderella at 2am 🇰🇷👩‍❤️‍👨 [Aug 24] ⭐ (Shin Hyun Been is also an automatic watch)

No Gain, No Love 🇰🇷👩‍❤️‍👨 [Aug 26]

I'm always open to recommendations so if there's an upcoming drama you think I might like, please let me know! Doubly appreciated if they're JBLs because I really want to break the stupid block I have with them.

[sage-nebula]

since we're now three episodes into Mega Voltage, I'm going to make a little likes and dislikes list to sort out my feelings thus far. I'm going to put it under a cut though, for anyone who doesn't want to see the dislikes.

Likes:

-- The timeskip designs. Liko's in particular I feel is the strongest. It's a clearly older, more mature look while not deviating too much from her previous fashion sense. The others I have varying opinions on, but Liko's is really strong.

-- I really enjoy how we've seen Liko's adaptability and strength for strategy continue to grow, particularly in ep 91. Long, long before we ever had Meowscarada, I had thought of combining Double Team with Flower Trick in order to create illusions of multiple bombs for diversionary tactics. I'm pleased to see that Double Team isn't even needed for that to take effect.

-- I like that the main plot seems to be centered around Rakurium, picking up where we left off, as well as touching upon the negative perception the world now has of the Rising Volt Tacklers. I'd be gutted if we were stuck with another "let's wander around and train" arc, so I'm glad that's not the case, even though both Liko and Dot need access to mega evolution.

-- I like that we can see that Liko in particular is clearly affected by what happened, given the flashbacks that she keeps having to what went down in Rakua. It makes sense that there would be trauma, and while it's clear the show doesn't want to linger too much on it, I'm glad that we're at least getting some of it.

Dislikes:

-- Uruto. He's annoying. Hopefully he gets better but right now I really wish he wasn't here and don't see a real use for him.

-- I already had a lot of trepidation going into this arc about how they were putting Cap on Roy's team, and three episodes in, I'm not really feeling any better about it! The best consolation I have is that the magazine spread specifically named Cap as Friede's partner, wondering where Friede is (and the visual metaphor with the goggles). But even the bit where everyone was together in the ending sequence had Cap on Roy's table, with Roy's pokémon, despite Friede still being alive. (Arguably it was to show how separated Friede and Charizard are from the rest, but it really wasn't needed in a scene that allegedly took place in the past.) Additionally, it would be one thing if he was with Roy when it was just the two of them, but then spread his time equally between Roy and Liko; but he didn't even interact with Liko once in episode 92. All of that, combined with him taking commands in battle like Roy really is his partner now (instead of him doing his own thing like I'd hoped) . . . yeah, I don't like it! It really, really bothers me and I don't like it at all. If this series ends with either an alive Friede passing Cap onto Roy, or Friede being dead when all is said and done and Cap staying with Roy because of that, I really won't be a happy camper.

-- This is petty, but I really hate the music they're using for mega evolution in this series. It honestly just sounds like a bunch of noise. The theme from the Ashime was much better, and for Alan mega evolving Lizardon specifically they often used the Keldeo theme from one of the movies, to the point where this uploader thought it was Alan's theme (and I thought so too for awhile) . . . like, listen to that and tell me it's not so much more beautiful and more fitting to showcase the ultimate bond between trainer and pokémon . . . but then again, Alan's mega evolution invocation was deserving of Keldeo's theme ("Key Stone, respond to my heart . . .") whereas . . .

-- Why do Roy's and Uruto's mega evolution invocations suck so bad. Both of them are just talking about power in their invocations, and that's not the point of mega evolution! That's not what it's about! And like, I could get it for Uruto, but Roy? His terastal invocation showed no hint that power would be all he'd care about for mega evolution. No wonder his Lucario seems to have no personality. Why bother to give it one when the only reason he has it is for game promotion / power? Christ. Fucksake. Liko and Dot better get better invocations when they get access to mega evolution (and they BETTER get access to mega evolution) or so help me god.

-- I understand that they're really wanting to promote mega evolution right now because of Legends Z-A, but I really hated how, in episode 92, the battle against the Rakurium-crazed steelix ended only when the boys got to show off their super strong powers while Liko and Dot just got to stand back and watch 🙃 Considering Liko was the focal protagonist before this point, + the fact that it's the boys taking care of things while the girls stand back and watch, it's pretty bad optics! It's not great!

-- For all the weight that was put into Pagogo being stuck in his ball for a year, and how that weighed on Liko, I think he woke up way too damn early. Like okay, there's that angst solved in episode three! I guess we at least still have the Friede angst (and now the Amethio angst for people who care about him), but considering no one has touched on that at all except for the visual metaphor of Cap wearing his goggles and Roy saying that they "got separated from one of [their] crew members when leaving Rakua" . . . it's not doing too much for me right now.

-- I get that the RVTs allegedly disbanded, but Murdock, Orio, Mollie, and Landau aren't dead (or believed to be). So why can't we get an update on them? I would rather hear from them than Uruto.

-- Get Dot out of her room and away from her computer. I know it'll happen eventually, given the updated design, but yeah, I don't like her just being the man in the chair right now.

-- Speaking of designs . . . I wish Roy's new look wasn't copping Friede's style so much (especially if they're not going to comment on it), and instead felt more like him. Roy already struggled with identity, IMO, given that his characterization has always been very reminiscent of how Ash was written post-OS. (I would go so far as to say post-DP, even . . . OS!Ash was a particular flavor of brat that was delightful, but his characterization in AG and DP still felt like that to a degree, just more mature. They didn't start resetting his characterization every saga until BW, and outside of XY(Z) they mostly settled on enthusiastic, battle-hungry kid character that they carried through with Roy, I think to try to get Ashime fans on board with the new series given how different Liko is.)

Anyway, before that parenthetical tangent -- Roy already struggled with identity issues in making him his own character, and while his personality is feeling more similar to XY(Z) Ash now (more mature and reliable), making him emulate Friede in terms of that vest is . . . not helping. I want Roy to be more of his own person, and if that was something I thought they were intentionally exploring I'd be on board, but it really doesn't seem to be.

The other design complaint is Dot's headphones. Girl, put that fucking cord in your pocket where it belongs.

Overall, I have a lot of discontent with Arc 5 right now, to the point where I feel actively bothered while watching the new episodes. I'm sticking with them because I'm invested in the main plot (and I need to know what happened to Friede; like I know realistically his insides would have been liquiified at best upon contact with the ground and it's very likely limbs would have been separated from his body upon impact, but this is not a realistic anime and so I'm sure he somehow survived), and I'm hoping that the things that are bothering me end up not being issues in the end / get fixed. After all, the boredom of Arc 3 was followed by the banger that was Arc 4, so hopefully all is not lost.

But if Liko and Dot get left out of mega evolution so that the boys can steal the show for the whole arc I swear to god I will mcfuckin lose it.

[randomnameless]

And another what if where we could have went to Bastorias ealier... but Joseph canonically would have died :(

How's that "as you all guessed"???

Poor Joseph would have died during the Soldraga map, and Alain would have inherited his pony. Damn!

Hopefully Joseph's role in the scenario saved him, but I wonder if the Holonius!Alain thing in Albion - that still makes more sense than Sanatio ! - would have meant we would have had someone else play the role of the Lord (Virginia? Scarlett? Or Joseph himself?) or if Holonius would have hijacked Alain's body, but more Zenoiran stuff would have been appreciated (maybe Holonius would have told Galerius that, uh, that Baltro fuck was the loser who told us to sacrifice an unicorn which resulted in our doom, maybe we shouldn't work with him anymore?).

If Holonius hijacked Alain though, would that mean that he had no ring of the unicorn on him, or didn't put it on?

(Galerius needs the two rings to be exorcised out, but if Holonius is like Theodora when she borrowed Berengaria's body, the ring of the unicorn is enough to get rid of him?)

Alain was supposed to have been jailed in Bastorias, maybe we could have had more Reimann shenanigans, or maybe the devs wanted to cook something with the rat tribe? Given how Yunifi has a lot of concept illustrations, I wonder if she wasn't the "Scarlett" of that beta version, aka the "main girl pushed by the plot".

Also, nice confirmation that, at one point, the scenario was linear! But they dropped that idea - maybe for gameplay purposes? - and we ended up with, well, the game where after saving for Scarlett in Cornia, you can basically either do Elheim, Bastorias or Drakengard as your second chapter.

[cripplecharacters]

Hi everyone! I am a teen writer and I'm writing my first novel. I live with a chronic condition and I am thinking about having one of my main characters live with the same condition. It is a rare type of adrenal gland insufficiency and I have to take medication everyday. I want to write my character taking their medication every night in a way that just feels normal. Does anyone have any tips on how to write this sort of stuff? I'm not 100% confident on how to approach this. Thank you:)

Hello beloved asker!

I think when you're writing about your own condition, especially if you have a rare form of something it's a free for all as that experience is personal to you and that character is gaining your experience. With that, depending on your meds or even if you want the character to take the same meds as you (certain regimens change), I would pick and choose parts from your own routine and use that as a makeshift template for the characters routine. Study your routine and why you do the things that you do and how you do them. This can help in describing actions and such to see how stuff you do translates into writing.

When writing I personally like to Sandwich the thing I don't want too much attention to fall on. And essentially you start the thoughts/dialogue/actions, and then you go to the thing you don't want the attentions on, and then you go back to your original thought/action/dialogue. And I'll put an example from one of my writings in case that makes zero sense.

"I'll be at the studio," he said, swallowing back the handful of pills. "Practice is gonna run late, I'll be home after."

This is just a normal sentence honestly but you can do this with a thought or action too though instead of dialogue like I did. The point is you don't want the attention to be on them taking their meds but rather what is actually going on in the story.

Now unless you do want it to stand out for another writing/plot reason or even if your transitioning their thought to their condition, then you can delve into it more. The only thing with delving into it is, its fine if something happens that impacts the character and makes them think about their condition. But otherwise it's not something that is done often or realistically.

About 99.9% I just take my pills and go on with my day. Every so often, especially with taking hydrocortisone which is a med that needs to be stress dosed, I'll really think about it. Like when a death has happened or something traumatic. Another is if you're running low or can't get this very important med, that might be another reason to dwell on the topic longer rather than gloss over it.

That's all the writing tips I have for that hopefully some more people can chip in with theirs. Happy writing!

~ Mod Virus 🌸

[conteststarribbon]

A post about this video! (https://youtu.be/ofmYqXfjFs8?si=yOsvs_3zv1n26O-3) This is mostly just me rambling about the visuals with rapidly decreasing levels of seriousness.

The majority of the in-game information mentioned here is sourced from https://tiphereth.zasz.su & https://libraryofruina.wiki.gg, together with my own ideas.

Feel free to take anything I say here with at least 6 tablespoons of salt, I'm just a guy hyperfixated on a game series that I can't play the majority of (no money and too technologically illiterate to look into other methods and also too scared to ask anyone for advice on the matter) and has been using playthrough videos to cope. It is assumed that the reader has at least some knowledge about the games and their plots.

Relevant dialogue gets transcribed in a format i can't really describe, it's just me trying to use as few images as possible. Hopefully figuring out whats a new line of dialogue or a change in what character is speaking is easy enough. It's also all in purple and in [square brackets], purely because I thought purple was a good colour and I liked the look of square brackets. Round brackets will be used in a more standard way.

Warning for major Library Of Ruina & Lobotomy Corporation spoilers! (abbreviated as LOR & LC past this point)

At the start, there's an immediate focus on Angela's face and by extension her visual changes from LC to LOR (much shorter hair and eyes mostly closed vs eyes mostly open). Angela is shown with her eyes shut for most of LC, shown later in LOR to be the only thing she could do to avoid further suffering in the timeloop of LC, unable to stop anything but at least being able to not see it. This is preceded by a transitional effect that I would say is meant to at least metaphorically represent the seeds of Light mentioned in both games, at first flying outwards, showing how the Light shone upon the City during the White Nights.

[dialogue from day 51 of LC:

???: A colossal, towering tree burst out from the city of gray. / Unimpeded by anything, it shone straight up with the warmth of its core. / The sky was filled with light for three days, regardless of the hour. / The people faced what they had been longing for in the light that glimmers within their hearts. / They felt as though they would no longer be lost.

-

???: Now, as if there were no light at all… / The world was covered with darkness for four days. / Only weak and fragile seeds were planted from the light that should have shone upon the world for seven days, yet merely lasted for three. / Those incomplete seeds gave humanity unstable powers. / They called these three days and four nights the week of ‘White Nights and Dark Days’.]

Then, Angela's eye is zoomed in on and transitions to a scene of 3 characters (assumed by me to be Kalo, Philip and Arnold from left to right) playing a card game and Maybe gambling???? There's probably some kind of insight I could make on Angela's character through these characters but I do not feel nearly qualified enough to even attempt that so I am moving onto what happens straight afterwards: a joker card is thrown onto the table, the image changing to show Roland.

Aside from this being a potential reference to the abnormality Jester of Nihil and by extension, the Realization of the Floor of Natural Sciences. It's also an insight into Roland as a character, from both an in-universe and out-of-universe perspective.

The majority of LOR's main cast are returning characters from LC, with the exception of Roland. He is a wildcard, in the sense of a person who has an unpredictable influence and unknown qualities. He's secretive, putting up a façade for the majority of the game and hiding his motives. A completely unknown variable for the player as he is a new character, one who the player can make no insights on based on a past appearance in LC, since he was never there.

[dialogue from after the Olivier reception in LOR:

Angela: So you were the Black Silence, and not just any Grade 1 Fixer. You managed to hide that from me for so long.

Roland: That’s well… Umm… / A case of… missing the right moment to confess it. I guess?]

After this, Roland is shown as a puppet controlled by golden strings. It fits, considering the start of the game and how he's somewhat coerced into working with Angela, how his title is 'Servant' for most of it, but also how his past fuels and controls his actions, which is something he shares with Angela.

Finally, the transitional effect I mentioned earlier returns, now flying upward towards Angela, restrained by the same golden strings Roland is controlled by. The Light that she took for herself, the reason behind the Dark Days. She's shown in the outfit she wears in the true ending of LC, assumed by me to be a consequence of manifesting E.G.O. that took the form of the Library, a concept somewhat elaborated on by YuRia in Distortion Detective and her Atelier, also being a manifestation of E.G.O. that takes the form of a location the user can control, instead of the more commonly seen weaponry.

In this outfit, Angela looks a lot more like Ayin, her resemblances to Benjamin and Carmen in her LC design through her outfit and hair no longer present. She takes over his role somewhat, becoming the head of an organisation in District 12 that's directly in the place where L Corp's main branch used to be, which has different floors ran by the exact same people who used to run the departments of L Corp. At first, she becomes everything she wants to distance herself from, continuing the cycle of abuse and violence, restrained by the strings that symbolise her past, forcing her to go back to the only things she knows and learned.

They both believe (at first) that what they're doing is the only choice available to them, the only future they have. All rooted in vengeance. Roland wants to make whoever it was that caused the White Nights and Dark Days to pay for leading to Angelica's death, while Angela wants to make anyone, even the City itself, repay for the suffering she experienced.

[dialogue from Hokma's 3rd story episode in LOR:

Hokma: The Library is no different from L Corp. The fact that your way of managing this place is nearly identical to how it used to operate speaks volumes.

Angela: All I could do and learn for the last million years in that basement was to treat humans as expendables in all types of methods. / There was no other option for me to choose, even if I wanted to.]

[dialogue from Hokma's 5th story episode in LOR:

Angela: …I’m afraid. / If I embrace all of my past and lift it off my chest, what will be left of me? / Up until now, my entire existence was based on my past sufferings. / The long-cherished yearning for revenge was what led me here… / But if I were to accept everything I went through as history… then what would I be? / Maybe I’ll end up being reduced to nothing… / The things I want to know, and the reason I want to keep living, it’s all about vengeance.]

Angela is then seen looking into a mirror in the Library, Carmen looking back at her instead of an actual reflection. Her 'original', the basis of her creation. The lyrics of String Theocracy played during this scene summarise it well enough: 'Inside the mirror do you see / Someone else in that body?'. She was made to be a replica of Carmen, made in her image and rejected by Ayin when she did not fit that ideal. This becomes unsettling when you think about Carmen's differences to Angela, who is made by Ayin and is essentially his child, all while reflecting his own physical preferences in her design. Here's a video that covers this much better than I could: https://youtu.be/oxbsSPjBWCA?si=BqBB4fecDOHHmU-R

Roland is then shown... actually I have no clue what he's doing here. Presumably some sort of representation of how he acted after Angelica died but also showing his face to avoid too many spoilers? Since the mask he wore back then is a spoiler in of itself basically. I'm becoming less coherent due to sleep deprivation I just DESPERATELY want to post this, ok? Anyway the dice. The combat relies on dice??? I guess??? your fate relies on the dice even if the library canonically never loses. i really have nothing I can say here for a bit. The scene with two Angelas is neat. You can see the Differences!!! yay ok now back to the stuff I have thoughts on.

EVERYTHING IS COVERED IN BLOOD😰😰😰 HOW INTIMIDATING! Roland, the dice, the card (with Roland on it), the book... the BOOK??!!?!!! The library is at first everything it tries to not be, forcing people to their (albeit temporary) deaths, washing blood with blood as Roland puts it. Merely further perpetuating the cycles of violence in the City. I admittedly do not know the source of the text on the book but some of it is definitely used as lyrics in Gone Angels, the song that plays during the Black Silence reception.

[dialogue from before the Black Silence reception in LOR:

Angela: Then… Who will pay for the misery I went through? / There was nothing else I could do; all I knew was to make them suffer the same pain…

Roland: You’re asking me for an answer? / If I knew the way… and if I could choose it, I wouldn’t have done this drivel. / I do know one thing for sure: This is what happens when you try to wash blood with blood.]

Angela is shown looking at the mirror again, this time finally seeing herself. It shatters, revealing an image of her rebelling against the strings that restrain her, rebelling against the influence of the past and the idea of living for vengeance.

PIANIST JUMPSCARE 😱😱😱 anyway it's a pretty straightforward way of showing how the pianist worked. hear the music, become the music. Angela again who cheered. i did. alone in the library, title screen style. looks sad tbh.

AND THEN. we are shown the first 4 floors we unlock in-game, welcome back asiyah layer🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳 whats more interesting is the sky afterwards goes yellow->red->blue->black->grey->white which, you guessed it. THATS THE REST OF THE FLOORS IN UNLOCK ORDER (if you ignore white/keter/general works but even then its literal floor order iirc) HELL YEAH

reverberation ensemble. or argalia at least. the rest are silhouettes. same / similar effects to the pianist because ONE they are music themed and TWO the pianist indirectly or directly motivated them (angelica's death via spontaneously turning into a music note motivates argalia and roland. roland's actions motivate like 90% of the ensemble)

THE END IS APPROACHING I HAVE BEEN SITTING IN MY DRAFTS STARING AT THIS POST FOR SO DAMN LONG. EVERYONE (MAIN CAST THAT IS) ON PAGES, IN THE LIBRARY PROBABLY BECAUSE IT LOOKS COOL AS SHIT

ANGELA HANDS YOU AN INVITATION. YES YOU SHES TELLING YOU BUY LIBRARY OF RUINA ON STEAM XBOX AND SWITCH I THINK. SHE HITTING THE LETS TAKE IBUPROFEN TOGETHER POSE. Can you love your everything too, for me? WHICH IS A BANGER LINE 🔥🔥🔥🔥 AND THEN COOL AS FUCK TITLE DROP. THE END I LOVE THIS VIDEO EVEN IF MY THOUGHTS ARE MOSTLY SURFACE LEVEL BECAUSE I AM THE ILLITERATE OGRE IMAGE 💔💔💔

anyway i hope you liked this i honestly just wanted an excuse to listen to this on loop and it worked. feel free to add your own thoughts i like to read responses. it is enriching.