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snowywrites · 3 years

Text

Yuri x popular Fem!reader

summary: fluffy fic in which the reader sees Yuri while working at a coffee shop and intends to be closer friends with her.

word count: 2.1k

"Y/N!"

You stop in your tracks, turning to scan the tables around you for the source of the voice; it was kind of familiar, and your eyes fall on a customer that's a regular here at the coffee shop. A young man around your age, usually here with his friends but alone today.

You had been about to go make another coffee for a different customer, but you force a service smile onto your face and hurry over to his table. "Hello!" You wrack your brain for a second to bring a name to this man- it wasn't easy keeping track of so many different people, and not just at your job! You also tried to keep tabs on the majority of your peers from school, too. Fortunately, it clicks a moment later. "Hatsumi, was everything alright?" You ask, noting he's already finished his pastry and drink.

Hatsumi grins, clearly pleased you had remembered him. Customers tended to get really happy over little things like that... if only they knew you did this with all of them. It was no secret you were one of the favorites here at the little shop, consistently getting better tips than many of your coworkers. "It was great!" He answers you brightly.

You nod and inquire politely, "Would you like me to go ahead and bring the bill out now?"

A moment of hesitation, and then, "Oh- uh, yes, thanks." He seems a bit disappointed, but you don't have time to dwell on it right now, not with how busy today's rush hour is. The only good thing is you're hopefully going to be getting off in about a half hour.

You assure him you'll be right back and then flit off to the counter to ring up the items he'd ordered and print the bill. As you're doing so, you feel a tap on your shoulder.

Glancing up, you see your favorite coworker, a girl several years older than you. "Y/N," she begins, a bit of a pleading look in her eyes that means she's about to ask you for a favor.

Biting back a sigh, you push down whatever annoyance you have at being interrupted to look expectantly at her. "What's up?"

"Can we please switch tables really quickly?" She practically begs you.

Switching tables wasn't too terribly uncommon- sometimes when guests came in, the baristas would know them outside of work and might ask a coworker to deal with the order and anything else.

"Sure," you giggle, ever the people-pleaser. You had a reputation to keep, after all! You don't like to brag, but you do enjoy the fact that you have many different friends and are well-liked by just about everyone you know. "Who?"

She gives a hop of delight. "Can I take the bill to Hatsumi?"

You can't help but smirk mischievously. "Ohhhhh, I see."

She lightly smacks you on the arm, instantly blushing. "Nono, I just-"

You cut her off before she can defend herself, knowing the two of you don't really have the time to waste playing around. "It's no worries. And who's that order for?" You question as you point at the circular silver tray in her hands which is holding a cute polka-dotted cup of tea.

"Ah, this goes to table three, the girl with the purple hair."

You nod, exchanging the bill for the tray. You want to watch and see what will happen between your friend and Hatsumi, if anything, but when you look towards the designated table, already heading for it, you realize you recognize the girl sitting there.

You have no trouble recalling her name. One of the members of your Literature Club, Yuri...

You haven't actually been in the club all that long at all, maybe a week-ish, and you feel like you haven't had any time at all to get properly acquainted with Yuri. Part of you feels that it's a shame, because you get the sense she's a very interesting and sweet person beneath her quiet and distant shell. It's just hard when she's always reading, and even in the rare moments she's not, she doubts herself so much during conversations with you that it just ends up being a bit weird.

But not today! No, you're suddenly filled with a sense of determination to get closer to Yuri.

You consider playfully scaring her when you walk up, but ultimately decide against it; aside from being naturally timid anyway, she's also, as usual, reading, and doesn't seem aware of anything going on in the shop around her. So, yeah, best to use a more gentle approach.

"Hey, you," you say, putting all the friendliness in your voice as possible, stopping beside the table to greet her.

In spite of everything, Yuri still jumps a bit in her seat, violet gaze flashing up to you in alarm.

'So much for trying not to scare her,' you think unhappily. Pushing that thought away, you give her a reassuring smile. "Sorry, it's just me! Y/N. We're in the Literature Club together," you try to remind her, wondering with a pang of horror if she's actually forgotten who you are. That would be a first for you.

A second of silence, but at last Yuri's tense grip on her book loosens, and she glances down at it, avoiding making eye contact. "O-Oh, I'm sorry."

Another awkward beat of silence. This was what you meant!! It always went like this with Yuri, and you wished more than anything that you knew how to make her more comfortable around you. Hoping to carry the burden of saving this interaction, you laugh nervously, "It's no worries! But, you didn't forget me, did you?" As much as you're just trying to joke around, there really is a slight feeling of hurt that that may very well have been the case.

Yuri stiffens, quickly answering, "No, I- I didn't!" It's a rushed response, louder than you've ever heard her speak and yet still quieter than most people's normal speaking voice. As if embarrassed by her small outburst, she ducks her head to add quietly, "Uhm, that is- I just meant that... I wouldn't ever forget you, Y/N."

Oh. Talk about giving someone butterflies. You never knew what to expect with Yuri- sometimes she could never get her words out, but then other times she'd say something with such a deep meaning that it would catch you entirely off guard. What's odd though is you know for a fact how truly sincere she is; Yuri is the type of person that's much deeper than most people, and she wouldn't say something if she didn't really think or believe it.

"Thank you, Yuri," you say warmly, setting her tea down near her on the table. "Here you go! I like this kind, too." Truthfully, since you hadn't taken the order yourself or even made the drink, you weren't 100% sure what kind of tea this was, but you were willing to try anything to make Yuri more at ease. It also wasn't unheard of for you to make conversation with customers, even if it was busier than usual right now- for once though, you weren't aiming to make a good tip or secure a regular customer. You genuinely wanted to talk with her. "Hey, is that the same book you're reading at the club?" You question after catching a glimpse of the cover art.

She shakes her head, causing some of her bangs to fall into her face. Brushing them out of the way, she frowns and then nods. "W-Well, kind of. I finished that one yesterday... this is the sequel," she explains.

"It must be pretty good if you want to read the next part already," you comment. "What's it about?"

As predicted, Yuri noticeably perks up. "Oh, I think you would really enjoy it, Y/N. It's about-"

"Y/N!"

You flinch at the stern voice of your shift supervisor, who apparently hadn't realized Yuri was speaking when he cut her off.

You glance back to see him gesturing at you in clear annoyance, motioning to the line of guests waiting for their drinks to be made. You nod, signaling you'll be right over.

Focusing back on Yuri, you're unable to mask your disappointment. "I'm sorry, I've gotta get back to work. I'm supposed to be off in a little bit though."

Yuri seems to also be discouraged, apologizing for keeping you, even though you're the one who had intentionally kept the talk going. She bites her lip, and then, probably overtaken by a brief moment of courage, suggests, "When you get off, maybe then I could tell you about the books?"

You're stunned, but at the same time, this was precisely what you'd been hoping for! "Yes, sure! That sounds great. I'll see you then!" You chirp, hurrying away.

The last of your shift passes by rather quickly, and when it comes time to clock out, you actually have to tell your supervisor no, you can't stay another extra hour even if they are busy, because you have plans! Normally you would have, but not today.

You meet Yuri at the door and the two of you leave the coffee shop together. The sun is close to setting, but not quite there yet. "Thank you again, Yuri! I like spending time with you, I've just been a little busy lately," you say.

Yuri mumbles something you can't quite hear, but then adds more clearly, "I-I'm glad..."

"So," you begin, clasping your hands behind you and beaming at her. "About those books!"

That's all it takes for Yuri to dive into an explanation of the main plot points as the two of you walk side by side towards your home.

You're more than a bit tired from work and standing on your feet for so long, but it's nice to have company on the walk back, especially someone like Yuri. You hum and comment every so often, honestly thinking that they did sound like the sort of books you would enjoy. Full of fantasy and mystery and thrills... and of course, romance.

"So, the main character ditches his friend, who's been with him the whole time, for the new girl? And she's from the enemy's group?" You surmise.

Yuri hesitates. "I don't want to spoil anything for you if you're wanting to read them for yourself..."

"Such a tease," you sigh, pretending to be betrayed. "Oh, we're here- this is my house."

The two of you stop at the gate leading to the front yard of your home, and you're positive you aren't imagining the plaintive expression on Yuri's face. You didn't really want your time together to end either, but alas, you both have classes tomorrow.

"If- If you really would like, you can borrow the first book from me," offers Yuri. "And then... you'll see for yourself how it all goes."

You nod enthusiastically. "Yes, please! Thank you, that's really sweet of you! We can discuss it too after I'm finished reading it. I think I already know who my favorite character is going to be, though."

Yuri tilts her head curiously. "Who would that be?"

"Nope! It's a secret, for now." You pause, glancing up at the darkening sky. "Will you be okay walking home by yourself?"

Her violet eyes soften at your concern. "Yes, I don't live very far from here."

You find yourself unsure of how to say goodbye to Yuri, an uncertain quiet settling over the two of you, but she doesn't seem to find it awkward. "Okay, if you're sure. Do you mind giving me your phone number, though?"

She starts in surprise, a dusting of pink covering her cheeks. "U-Uhm- I- you-?"

"So you can text me when you get home," you quickly defend your reasoning, feeling a bit shy yourself at Yuri's reaction. She really was unique- most people tried to play it cool when asking for or giving numbers.

"R-Right," she stammers, reciting it off for you, and her phone buzzes at the quick text message you sent her so she would have your number.

"I'll see you tomorrow then, at the Literature Club," you finally say, already looking forward to it. "And don't forget to bring the book, please!"

Yuri steps back, her gaze on the ground but you still see her smile to herself. "Yes, I will. Bye, Y/N." She seems like she has something else she wants to say, but then she gives herself a shake and quickly turns away, her long hair twirling to follow her.

You watch her go until you can't see her anymore, partly due to wanting to make sure she was safe.

You couldn't help but admire her for her intelligence and beauty, even if she seemed to admire your social skills in return. Hopefully this was the start of a very deep relationship with Yuri.

#yuri #yuri x reader #ddlc x reader #doki doki literature club #reader insert #scenario #imagine #fem reader #ddlc reader insert #preference

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sweetea-rosey · 3 years

Note

Ooo hi I saw you take requests? I have a writing request if you want to :))

So here is my idea:

Remus has a notebook given to him by the other sides to write his thoughts down in. See, Remus has clear impulse control problems so this notebook of for him to write his thoughts down instead of just doing and saying whatever comes to mind. It gives him a chance to think about it. Sometimes, maybe like once a week give or take a few days one of the other sides will sit down with him and read his thoughts with him just to make him feel validated and heard. Well this particular time one of the sides (of your choice) sat down with the notebook and found some rather interesting things.

Now, you can take this one of two ways (it’s really all up to you!)- You can make this something angsty (hurt comfort), or you can make it something shippy! It can be any Remus ship you want but I personally am more partial to intrulogical hehe 💙💚

Take your time and have fun with it!! Have a good day :)

Ah! Ty for the request! I started writing it on the day you submitted it, but Tumblr deleted it after a while of not saving :') so now my motivation to do this is deterred

Anyway, this'll be my first time not writing something Roman centric =w=""

Remus held the book in his hands. He remembered the day Roman gave it to him, when he risked traveling into the dark scape because he knew his brother needed this. Because he did, too.

An outlet.

A place for his monstrosities to be, other than inside his head, allowed to torture him to their best abilities. The illusions his mind creates are no longer just in his eyes. It's no longer insanity- it's creativity. The journal isn't the first one. But he and Roman make sure to keep eachother stocked up; they get filled rather quickly. The Imagination holds an entire library dedicated to their filled journals from over the years.

The journals have also become sort of diaries to them. So, imagine what were to happen if one of them got lost? The possibility of their secrets being seen by unbidden eyes.

Remus burst into Roman's room, "Ro!"

Roman jumped from his spot at his desk, "Jeez- ! What is it?"

Oddly, for Remus, he seemed almost anxious, "Have you seen my latest journal?"

Ah, that explains it. Roman understands the severity of losing something that holds your private thoughts. He stood up from his desk chair, turning to face Remus better, "No, I haven't. Is it missing?"

Remus nodded, unable to speak through the panic coursing through his veins, the hormone mixing with the feeling of the plasma we call blood rushing through veins and arteries, rest in his heart, which is thumping with vigor, the- Remus shook himself. The imagery coming on its own with nothing to do with it, "Thoughts, thoughts thoughts, thoughts, blood, where? Everywhere? It is me, I am thoughts and blood and gore and death and slime, and..."

Roman pulled his brother in, the physical touch of his second half grounding him, finally balanced out with his brother there to help him.

"Breathe, Ree...I get it...I'll help you look for it, okay? Do you have any spare journals?"

Remus shook his head. He had just started this one, he was too busy brainstorming on the pages to remember to restock.

"Okay, do you have the focus to conjur any, right now?"

Remus shook his head again. No no, of course not! He's too focused on the one that's missing!

"Alright, that's okay, Ree. I get it. Here, use this for now," As Roman spoke, he pressed a plain black book in the unstable man's hands, "Get some thoughts out on that, then we can start looking, okay?"

Instead of answering, he made the rest of the way into the prince's room and started letting the thoughts out.

"Feel better?"

Remus let out a breath and nodded, "A lot, thanks. Can we go look, now?"

"Of course, let's go."

It took hours. The sun was gone in Thomas' living room and they were still tearing the place apart, searching absolutely everywhere. Remus was tempted to just dismantle the mind palace and look through the stuff that gets left behind. The fear was boiling in his gut in the ocean of acid.

"What if we don't find it? My blood, sweat, and tears went into that book! Pieces of my heart are in there, I can't lose it, what if someone else finds it and reads it?"

Roman shuddered, because he didn't believe that Remus was being metaphorical, "I understand the severity of the situation, Ree. We should go look in the Lightside, now..."

Remus shrugged as much as his slumped posture will allow, "Sure..."

"We'll find it, Ree..."

"That's not what I'm worried about. If I lose it? Fine, I have others, I can start a new one. I'm scared of someone else finding it and reading it... there's things in there I don't want others seeing..."

"I get it, you know I do. We'll get it back before anyone else can even know it exists, alright?"

Remus just shrugged off his comforting hand, "Stupid prince, always making promises you don't even know if you can keep. Don't do that to yourself and don't do it to me. I'm not stupid enough to fall for that shit."

Roman recoiled, almost physically, "Sometime, people just need reassurance."

"And then, when you're wrong? I know you don't like breaking promises, Princey."

"...Then hopefully we'll figure it out."

"You're such a fucking optimist, it's gross."

Roman rolled his eyes, "I'm helping you look, be nice, you doofus."

"Oh wow, "doofus", I'm so offended," Remus said without much effort.

Roman ignored him.

"It's not HERE!" Remus screamed, a pot crashing through the wall.

Roman manged to muffle the noise and quickly put it back together, "We will, this was only the first room in the Lightside. You need to calm down."

"I can't! What if someone else already found it and read it? What if they hate me? What if they never wanna talk to me again because nothing in there makes sense, what-"

Roman caught his hands, "Woah! Woah...Remus, when did you start caring so much about what the others think of you?"

"I don't!"

"But...-"

"I don't care about what Logan and the other think of me."

"Of what...Logan and the...? Remus...is this about Logan?"

Remus hesitated just long enough.

"Oh great Aphrodite, it is..."

"Aphro-? NO! No, I don't!"

"Remus, is there something about Logan on that book?"

Remus said fuck it in his mind and sighed, "Yes... I...some fantasies...that he might not approve of..."

"Oh, Remus..."

"What if he finds out, and he...? He just doesn't...?"

Roman hit his brother on the head, "This is why you're a doofus. It doesn't matter if he finds it, you have nothing to worry about."

Remus rolled his eyes. Literally. He rolled them like dice and Roman had to look away, but got the message.

"How would you know?"

It was Roman's turn to roll his eyes (PROPERLY).

"I'm leaving you to figure that out. But, I do."

"Sure. Whatever. Asshole."

Roman moved on to look in the next room.

A flash of green leaped onto him and he was tumbling over, the item in his hands flying out.

"Remus!"

The man scrambled over and snatched the book up, "Did you read it?"

"I- no, Remus what is it?"

"It's mine. Roman, I found it!"

Roman? Since when do those two talk? But, as Remus said, Roman walked in.

"Oh, thank Hades."

"Logan had it."

Roman sucked in a breath, "Did he read it?"

Remus shook his head, relief is a weird expression on the man's face.

Logan wouldn't mind seeing it more.

"What is this about?"

Roman took the liberty of answering, "The book is Remus' and it's private. Reading it would be invasive."

"Oh, my apologies, then. But, I had just picked it up, it was left over from Remus' running through the room and into the Imagination, along with some other debris I cleaned up."

"It's alright, nerd."

Logan's gaze lingered on Remus a bit, before he bid his farewells, reminded Roman of some work he needs to do by Friday, then left.

"Y'know," Roman said as they turned to walk back, "You could tell him how you feel."

Remus scoffed, "I'm not self destructive, like you, RoRo."

Ignoring Remus' jabs is difficult for the prince, nevertheless, "And do, pray tell, how it's self destructive?"

"Because he'll say no and that will hurt. I don't like when things actually hurt. I'm not risking him hating me even more."

"Woah, woah, he doesn't hate you."

"Doesn't he? I'm chaotic, irrational, vile, ik everything he fights to keep under control."

Roman digested this and thought hard on how best to explain this, "But that's exactly why you two are perfect for each other. You help him let loose when he's being a stick in the mud and he helps you keep in control of yourself and stay organized.

"You're delusional. He doesn't like me, he can't Ro. It goes against our very beings! Go ahead and fool yourself, but you can't do that to me. That's just cruel." Remus disappeared and Roman sighed as he tried to brush off his brother's words.

As the embodiment of romance, he thinks he'd know when a couple will work out or not. How will he convince his brother and Logan of that? He supposes he can't blame them for that, who would listen to the love advice of someone who loves someone that loves someone else? Kinda hypocritical.

"Just leave me alone!"

"Remus! Would calm down? Just listen to me!"

"No! You're a liar and I hate you! Do you want me to get hurt? You're an asshole you good for nothing prince!" He screamed. Why won't his brother let this go? Doesn't he see that everyone is better this way?

"Fine! You're right! Is that what you want to hear? Call me an asshole, call me stupid, call me evil or whatever! But I'm not wrong! Why don't you believe me? Ha! Why am I trying to reason with the self proclaimed unreasonable?"

Remus looked down from his perch on the guillotine, "Wait, RoRo-!" But he was gone.

"Fuck."

He rushed out, hoping to Loki that he didn't do too much damage.

"Roman!"

But he found who he wants looking for.

"Why are you screaming in the middle of the common room?" Came that cool and sexy voice.

"Looking for my brother, duh."

"Funny, I just spoke to him."

"Where'd he go?"

"Not sure, but he told me to stop being a robotic fake and confess to you."

"He- ? ROMAN!" Remus summoned a hammer and maybe there's a new hole in the wall.

"He was right, surprisingly."

Remus was not expecting that, "Come again?"

"I have noticed, over the course of our interactions, that I have developed feelings that I didn't recognized until Roman brought them to my attention. Remus...I have romantic feelings for you."

And it was the last casual and calculated confession Remus ever heard. He imagined something with ropes. But it was the best thing he ever heard. He didn't expect to be crying.

"Remus?"

"I like you, too..."

Logan brightened and stood up, his heart beating unnaturally, yet pleasently, as he moved closer, "Then... perhaps we...?"

But before he could finish, Remus pulled him in and there was no need for words.

Part 2 with what happened with Roman afterwards?

Ty so much for the request and I apologies for the long wait.

@fireflyjunkie

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uwuwriting · 4 years

Text

My s/o is scarier than yours w/ Dabi, Hawks and Aizawa

Request: Can you do a dabi , hawks and a aizawa reacting to there blind badass s/o going all out on someone who kidnapped Them - @chronosdemon2

Tik tok memes have been stuck in my head all day and I’m very close to saying that “Kill your parents Tracey” to someone unironically….. the thing is they'll DO IT. Love ya. 💖💖💖

masterlist II rules

warnings: cursing and descriptions of violence, some quirk use, violent quirk use, TW blood

Dabi

-I swear he got caught on purpose .

-He was strong enough to roast anyone that came close to him and he could literally beat them to a pulp.

-But noooo he had been whining about wanting to see you saving his ass after he heard Toga talk about how hot you were when you were angry and how your overly aggressive quirk use, made your eyes ?pop?

-The appeal of murdering someone and finding it hot is beyond you so you just let it slide.

-But McCrispy had other plans.

-He had been acting reckless and made stupid mistakes while out on missions, constantly getting hurt and forcing you to half carry him back to HQ.

-You contemplated leaving him in that rusty, disgusting warehouse since you were sure they were gonna ship him back the moment he opened his mouth to speak.

-He was THAT annoying.

-But alas your heart got the better of you and after two days of letting him be held captive you decided to go down there yourself and pick up your oversized child.

-Dabi on the other hand was starting to get pissed.

-He expected you to come get him the moment you heard he was being held captive, I mean you said you loved him right? You must be worried sick.

-The other idiots wouldn’t bother for a week or so before remotely lifting a finger in an effort to get him back so you would be coming alone.

-What the fuck was taking you so long???

-He could burn this whole place down; he could easily do that but they had given him quite the beating already and some of the staples on his skin came loose making the pain radiating through his body ten times worse.

-He hated admitting that he was truly in pain.

-In this moment though, as blood trickled from his chest and arms he couldn’t deny that his body was way too sore to even move an inch.

-Another thing he hated was the fact that he needed you right now.

-Even though he had done this whole thing because he wanted to see you losing your control a little he never expected to be hurt like this, become so desperate for someone to actually save him.

-He stopped hoping for a savior when he was a child so why is this spark of hope suddenly back?

-Resting his head on the cold wall behind him he tried to get some rest, hopefully he would feel better after he got some sleep.

-As you made your way silently through the corridors of the warehouse you noticed a pile of bloody staples in a far corner, seeing red as you immediately knew where these staples came from or better from who.

-You had no intention of giving Dabi the satisfaction of seeing you fight the dudes that caught him.

-He basically forced you to come pick him up like some drunk idiot who forgot he didn’t have a ride home at 3 am in the morning.

-But now that they touched him?

-Sure he was a dick but he was your dick of a boyfriend and no one laid a hand on him.

-Screams echoed through the halls waking Dabi up from his little exhaustion induced nap, mind hazy from the way his head was spinning.

-With wobbly legs he got up as the screams grew closer and by the time he was at the door it was flinged off its hinges, hitting one of the lackeys that tried getting up.

-Even through the immense pain he was in this fucker smirked.

-There you were, features etched with pure fury, blood splats all over your clothes as he could feel the energy of your quirk radiating through the metallic air.

- “You fucking dumbass.”

- “It’s nice to see you too doll.”

-You hauled him to the safehouse, not uttering a single word on the way back letting him wallow in silence.

-You couldn’t bring yourself to be mad at him after you saw how banged up he was.

-Cleaning his skin so it wouldn’t get infected, you got some spare staples to piece him back together *literally*.

-He knew he messed up big time by the way you wouldn’t meet his gaze so he swallowed his pride and forced himself to give a single apology.

- “Sorry.”

- Sighing you kissed his nose, giving him a stern look while wrapping his chest up with a bandage.

- “Just don’t pull anything like that again.”

-You ain't never hearing the s word again.

Hawks/Keigo Takami

-He swears he had everything under control.

-Completely disregarding the fact that he was tied to a chair with all of his feathers gone leaving his wings looking like a newborn chicken.

-Yeah completely under control.

-Doesn’t even know how he ended up here.

-One minute he is on patrol with his favorite person in the world and the next he wakes up in a room with no windows, tied to a very uncomfortable chair.

-Doesn’t even remember if he used his wings at all!

-He is trying to wiggle free when the chair tips and he falls face first on the dirty ass cement floor.

-His knees were scrapped and his nose was smushed, a frustrated groan leaving his lips as he maneuvered himself to lay on his side, brows furrowing as he continued to stare at the grey wall opposite of him.

-The ropes that tied his hands were tight leaving no room for his hands to either wiggle free or untie the knots all together.

-He had to come up with a new plan.

-So what did he do? He started singing.

-No no you aren’t reading this wrong.

-From the macarena to WAP, he knew all the lyrics, his voice bouncing off the four walls of his room.

-His throat was getting hoarse and he was running out of songs when he heard the screams.

-At first they weren’t coherent, just a jumble of words and shouts as quirks were activated, the building shaking a little bit by all the attacks.

-The noise got closer, more voices joined the screaming fest and poor guy was frantically now trying to get his hands or wings or anything really free from the ropes to at least defend himself to whatever is coming his way.

- “WHERE THE HELL IS HE?!”

- “LADY WHY ARE YOU SO MAD I-”

- *slap*

-Oh he recognized that voice.

-That sweet melodic voice that was now cursing the hell out of the guard outside his door like a construction worker on a Monday.

-The door rattled as something rammed into it, the hinges barely staying in place as it was attacked again and again and again until it came off, falling just a few inches away from his face.

-You walked in, eyes immediately locking with his as groans and pained moans could be heard coming from behind you.

-Your uniform had a few bloodstains on it and he could see your chest rising and falling rapidly but as his eyes scanned your figure, everything seemed fine; no injuries, no bruises just a few wrinkles on your shirt.

-His little chicken wings flapped as he beamed at you, a happy coo leaving his lips the moment you kneeled down behind him to untie the knots, giving him a kiss on the cheek *even though you were kinda pissed and did it while mumbling something about him being a stupid idiot with the brain of a penguin*.

-You didn’t bother informing anyone that you got him back, just shooting your sidekick a text that you are going home.

-Anger was radiating from your whole body and Keigo could feel it coming in intense waves.

-He didn’t say a word the whole ride home *cause he was gonna get thrown…..close to the truth*

-Once inside your apartment, you helped him with his uniform and tended to the few scratches and bruises that littered his torso and limbs, resting your forehead on his shoulder once you were done, a tired sigh escaping your lips.

- “I’m sorry. Are you mad at me?”

- “I’m not mad, not at you at least.”

-Wrapping his arms around you he swiftly switched spots, asking for permission silently to help with your bruises.

- “Thank you for coming dove.”

Aizawa Shota

-He could hear you pounding down the streets after them.

-He felt so hopeless right now, body gone limp from some quirk that he didn’t manage to block, being carried like a sack through the streets that he should be protecting while his s/o was spewing profanities and very malicious threats at the people who held him.

-Really it was one of the most embarrassing moments in his whole hero career.

-Worse than that one time he got caught in his own capture tool when he first laid his eyes on you one cold Friday night in the middle of winter.

-As his head bobbed along with his kidnapper’s footsteps he caught small glimpses of your form, anger etched on every single crevice of your face, eyes hard as they stayed glued to the person that held him, your quirk letting out small thrums of energy that gave away your anger.

-You could barely keep it at bay right now.

-You couldn’t bear the thought of something happening to your husband.

-He literally got snatched in front of your eyes.

-You had no time to react as he was hit by that bastard’s quirk and you saw his body fall limp.

-At the mere thought of the attempted kidnapping your quirk let out a stronger thrum sending some trash cans crashing to the ground from their spots on the side of the alleyway.

-Your lungs burned and your thighs were beginning to hurt like hell but you weren’t about to let them get away.

-Gripping the railing of a low balcony, you hauled yourself up, quickly making your way to the roof and continuing your persecution from above.

-One by one you began taking the idiots out, the higher ground giving you a more open look on them and allowing you to use your quirk safely.

-Soon enough the only one left was the one who was holding your husband who also happened to run into a dead end, whimpers leaving his lips as he saw your figure on the building’s roof.

-By the time your feet touched the pavement, the villain was begging you to let him go that he and his crew won’t pull something like this again.

-In one swift motion he was knocked unconscious falling next to your husband who was beginning to gain the ability to move again.

-With a groan you helped him to his feet, searching for any further injuries before cupping his cheek and giving him a kiss, engulfing him in a hug right after.

- “I thought I would lose you.”

-He hugged you close, burying his face in your hair as siren’s started echoing off the walls of the alley.

- “I’m here, I’m alright.”

-He felt your body slightly shake whether that was caused by the shock and the worry you just went through or the overuse of your quirk, he didn’t know.

-What he did know though was that you deserved to be pampered even more than usual tonight.

-Giving you another kiss he gently pushed you off him, grabbing your hand and leading you out of the “crime scene”, taking the familiar road home.

-That night he holds you a little tighter than usual.

TAG TEAM AY:

@the-arcana-fan-fic @angelwritings @axerrri @reinyrei @dnarez @storage11037 @ezoyscorner @letscheereachotheron @wolfkid22 @dark-thoughts-and-red-roses @threeamwriting @ysatrap @yashinosakura @belladonna-coven @angel6786 @meena-in-a-nutshell

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marvelslut16 · 4 years

Text

Prank gone wrong

Prompt number: 19 “I can’t do this anymore”

Fandom: It

Paring: Richie Tozier x reader (aged up to 17 or 18)

Rating: T

Word count: 2.6k (this was supposed to be short!)

Warnings: Swearing. Bullying. Mentions of domestic abuse/domestic violence- nothing graphic. asshole Richie. Angst but ends fluffy

A/N: Oof I’ve been gone for ages, I’m sorry guys. But here’s day one of fictober, so hopefully I’ll be able to keep up and this will motivate me to write regularly again. I’m not sure if I love this one or not. I liked the idea when I started and then it took some turns and this is what I ended up with while writing between zoom classes, so sorry if it sucks. I added the second gif cause it’s closer to the age in the story.

It all started as a stupid prank, a way to get back at Greta for years and years of torture, you never thought it would end in you losing a friend. Just over three months ago Richie agreed to Bev’s plan, take Greta out on a few dates and then publicly humiliate her- give her a taste of her own medicine. But to everyone's surprise, it lasted way longer than a few dates and there was no end in sight. Worst of all it seemed that Richie was actually falling for her- he would defend her any chance he got and even started ditching the losers to spend time with her and her friends.

It was no surprise to you that Greta fell for Richie, he’s funny, sweet, and he’s aged well. His head has grown into his coke bottle glasses, he still wears hawian shirts but now he has a leather jacket over them constantly- a leather jacket that the two of you picked out together. There is no better than one Richie Tozier, and your feelings are getting harder and harder to deny. Your crush on the trashmouth developed back in middle school- the summer Pennywise reigned terror, but through the years your crush turned into something stronger- by senior year you knew you loved him. Halfway into said school year every loser, besides Richie of course, knew of your feelings for him. The pitied glances they would send your way were almost suffocating.

Richie is late to lunch yet again, probably making out with Greta in the hallway, so each of you are using this time to talk about the personal hell her and her friends have created for each of you today. You go last, quickly giving them a rundown of your encounter with her in the bathroom, where she threatened you to stay away from ‘her Richie’ and that you would live to regret it if you didn’t. She even ripped one of your textbooks out of your hands, dropping it into the disgusting toilet water- calling you a worthless slut on her way out.

“Greta is such a bitch!” you complain to your friends, mindlessly pushing around the mush they call lunch at Derry high with the cheap plastic spork they provide.

“I’d prefer if you didn’t talk about my girlfriend that way,” Richie’s voice is calm and even- lacking the normal excitement and joking lilt to it. Your eyes widen in horror at him having heard you, then they narrow at how genuine his defense of her is.

“Richie, c’mon, let it go,” Eddie pleads, glancing between your shocked and hurt face and Richie’s angry one.

“No Eddie, I’m so sick of (Y/N) talking shit about my girlfriend!” you whip around in your seat and look at him in shock.

“Richie what the hell?” you rise out of your seat so he won’t look down on you literally and figuratively anymore. He cocks his eyebrow, head dropping to the side as he crosses his arms and lets out a huff of annoyance. “Ya know what? I can’t do this anymore!”

“Do what anymore?” Richie doesn’t drop the cocky attitude, making the next words out of your mouth slightly less painful.

“Be your friend,” there’s a collective gasp from your friends. Richie’s face morphs into shock and sadness for a split second before hardening and sending you another glare. “Not when you’re dating her. She’s changing you Richie!”

“Greta was right about you, you are a bitch,” your breath catches in your throat and you fight the tears that well up in your eyes. Richie’s glare is unflinching as you stare him in the eye, a tell-tale sign that he doesn’t regret a single word that he said. The murmuring from the table behind you stops the moment the words leave his mouth, they all stare at their friend in shock.

“Fine, then you’ll never have to deal with this bitch again,” you spin around and grab your backpack and lunch tray. “Fuck you Richard Tozier!” you dump your tray of mush into the trach on your way out of the cafeteria nad away from that stupid boy you somehow fell for.

“What did you just do?” Stan is the first one to regain the use of his voice, he’s glaring at Richie as the boy takes your recently vacated seat.

“I’m sick of her attitude towards Greta,” he tries to defend, shocked when all of his friends level him with matching glares.

“W-wh-what h-ha-ha-happen-ned to th-he pr-pr-prank-k?” Bill’s recently improved stuttering growing worse as he grows anxious at the turn of events between his friends.

“Greta isn’t the bad one here, we’ve been rude to her all of these years!” Richie once again tries to effectively defend his girlfriend.

“She wrote loser on my cast!” Eddie practically screeches before he goes into an anxiety attack, beleving it’s an asthma attack he takes two puffs from his inhaler.

“Her and her friends dumped wet garbage on me,” Bev adds, quieter than Eddie.

“That was in middle school,” Richie rolls his eyes, leaning back in his seat.

“I thought you were in love with (Y/N) before the whole prank, that you did it to get over her,” Eddie says slowly this time, having calmed down from moments prior.

“Greta helped me realize I never loved (Y/N), I was doing what was expected after years of friendship,” the losers stare at him- open mouthed and gaping at Richie’s stupidity.

“She attacked (Y/N) in the bathroom this morning,” Mike tries to reason with his brainwashed friend.

“No, (Y/N) was lying to you guys. She attacked Greta earlier, not the other way around. She screamed at Greta to break up with me or she’d regret it, and then dumped her books in the toilet and called her slut.”

“Greta did that to (Y/N), you dumbass!” Bev grows increasingly angry, at Richie and herself for coming up with the stupid prank. “I was in there with her, Greta’s convinced (Y/N)’s in love with you so she wants to rip you apart. Do you honestly believe (Y/N) would do something like that?”

“Shit!” Richie slams his fists on the table, causing most of the cafeteria to turn and looking at him briefly before going back to their individual tasks. Everything Greta had blamed on you in the past three months comes rushing back and he realizes that they’re all out of character but in character for Greta. Somewhere along the way he convinced himself that Greta was telling the truth so he had a reason to stop being in love with his best friend- he was too scared to tell you because you’re the only person that could actually hurt him.

“(Y/N) (L/N) to the principal's office immediately,” the voiceover the intercom cracks showing the age of the ancient system.

“Richie?” Stan isn’t sure he wants to know the truth as he asks the question.

“I told Greta to tell the principal,” his voice is oddly quiet and broken, definitely out of character for the jokester trashmouth.

“You fucking idiot!” Bev seethes, staring Richie down. They’re the only two that know the truth about your father.

You quickly get up from your place in the library and walk down the empty halls to get to the principal's office. Once you arrive the secretary gives you a dirty look, causing you to sink back and the pit of anxiety in your gut to grow. Greta sends you a triumphant smirk before going back to fake sobbing as she walks out of the principal's office and past you.

You feel like you're going to vomit as you walk into the principal's office behind him, the look on his face says you’ll get after school detention for at least a week! Whatever lies Greta told about you are clearly being believed by him and the secretary.

“You’re a good student Miss. (L/N), so why have you been harassing Miss. Keene?” he crosses his arms over his chest, they rest lightly on top of his bulging gut.

“I haven’t-” you try to defend, but he puts up a hand to stop you.

“She alleges it’s because you have feelings for her boyfriend Mr. Tozier and you’re upset that she chose her over you.”

“That’s not true-” his glare cuts you off this time.

“Today alone you threw her books in the toilet, threatened her for being with Richie, and called her a slut,” the words today alone stand out to you, how many lies did she tell?

“She did that to me! Not the other way around!” you try desperately for him to believe you.

“Then why didn’t you come to me?” he raises a brow much like Richie did in the cafeteria, Greta has both of them wrapped around her finger and against you.

“Because no ones ever done anything! She’s been torturing me since we were in grade school and she’s never got in trouble! A freshman came to you last week saying Greta was bullying her and you didn’t do anything!”

“I’m afraid I’ll have to suspend you for the rest of the week.” he says firmly, no room for negotiation or pleading.

“That’s four days!” you cry out incredulously.

“Do you want to make it longer?” when you don’t respond he continues talking. “Your father is on his way, go get your books from your locker and leave school property.”

You hear someone call your name from down the hall as you grab all of your textbooks from your locker, trying to shove all five thick books into your bag. You ignore the voice up until it’s right next to you and you realize it’s Richie trying to plead for forgiveness.

“Lose my number, and while you’re at it forget my name. Stay the fuck away from me Tozier!” Your outburst grabs the attention of the other students walking to their next class, everyone shocked by the inseparable duo of Tozier and (L/N) fighting. You slam your locker shut with a loud bang, heading for the door and away from him calling your name.

Monday comes agonizingly slowly, but when it does you're sitting with Bev in the bathroom during third period, both of you telling your teachers you don’t feel good.

“How bad was it?” she flicks her lighter and lights her cigarette, standing next to the window so she can blow the smoke outside.

“Worse than it's ever been,” you feel ghost pains on your back from where your dad's leather belt met your flesh for the past six days. “Since Richie didn’t sneak in to help clean them this time I think I may have an infection.”

“He broke up with Greta,” Bev changes the subject, she knows you only trust Richie enough to see the damage your father inflicts, so she doesn’t bother to ask to check on it.”

“Good for him,” you stare down at the gross linoleum tile under your beat up Chuck Taylor’s. Richie had promised to take you away from your father the moment you two graduated, he’d been promising it for years, even while he was with Greta, but now you aren’t holding out hope for the promise.

“He’s been miserable without you,” the bell signaling the end of the period saves you from formulating an answer. Bev quickly flushes her cigarette butt and the two of you head to the cafeteria, you’re a little worried about sitting with the losers after your fight with Richie. Bev grabs your hand and gently pulls you to the table when she notices your hesitance. You catch up with the rest of the losers, minus Richie who isn’t in the lunchroom which you’re oddly sad about, finding out about tests and break ups you missed while you were suspended. The loud ear splitting sound of feedback causes the entire cafeteria to cover their ears and look to the microphone stand in the front of the room. Richie is standing in the front holding the microphone, cringing slightly at the loud sound. No lunch ladies run to grab the microphone from him, meaning he got permission to do whatever it is he’s about to do. His wild curls bounce as he nervously shifts from foot to foot as he looks around the cafeteria until he locks eyes with you. You can’t look away from him so you miss the smiles the losers give each other and the high five Bev and Ben share.

“(Y/N) I don’t know what I could ever say to you to get you to forgive me, I can never forgive myself for hurting you,” he talks into the microphone, everyone looking between the two of you, but neither of you seem to notice anyone but each other. “I know I embarrassed you, so maybe if I embarrass myself in front of everyone you’ll forgive me a little bit. (Y/N), I never meant to hurt you, I only agreed to the prank because I wanted to forget you. No- fuck that doesn’t sound right.

“I’ve been in love with you since middle school and I knew you could never love me too, even when Ed’s told me you did I couldn’t believe it. I wanted to forget my feelings for you because I never wanted to hurt you, so I agreed to the prank. But I hurt you anyway because I let Greta get in my head, so I even failed the damn prank. But I love you so fucking much (Y/N) and I’m sick of running from these damn feelings. All I want to do is take you away from this hellhole after we graduate, and go to NYU together like we’ve planned since Freshman year. I love you (Y/N) (L/N), and I’ll spend the rest of my life apologizing to you about how shitty I was if you give me a second chance.”

Your body stands up on autopilot, and you don’t realize you’re walking towards him until your face to face. Lifting your hand you gently push a curl that fell in front of his eye away and tuck it behind his ear, he leans his head into your hand as a lunch lady comes and takes the microphone out his hand grinning largely at teen love. You struggle to find words, so you wrap both your hands around the lapels of his leather jacket and pull him into a kiss. It isn’t your first kiss, Bill had dared you two to kiss sophomore year in a game of truth or dare in the barrens, but this kiss is different. These aren't two kids afraid of the adult feelings that were overcoming them, these are two almost adults finally giving into the most powerful and amazing feeling in existence. Richie makes sure to keep his hands away from your back, he’ll clean out your cuts later, instead he tangles his fingers into your hair pulling you in deeper. Before the kiss can go too far you pull back giggling as Richie follows your face trying to kiss you again.

“I love you too,” you rest your forehead on his, turning your giggling face into a mock serious one. “But you’re on thin ice mister.”

“I love you more,” he caresses your cheek and you grin happily, laughing at his antics when he starts speaking again. “Than I love Eddie’s mom.” the entire cafeteria is whooping and hollering at your kiss, but non louder than your losers. Well, everyone except Greta, who lets out a high pitched huff and storms out of the cafeteria.

“I think the prank ended up working out,” you giggle, lightly nipping at Richie’s thumb as it grazes over your lower lip.

Permanent tags: @crimson-knuckled-queen @rexorangecouny

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malfoymanortings · 4 years

Text

somebody else PT 2

SUMMARY: Mae has been in love with Draco Malfoy since her first year at Hogwarts. Draco Malfoy fell in love with Mae in their fourth year, and then promptly fell into Pansy’s bed instead. All the while, Mae clings to the hope that Draco will change. That is, until, Ron Weasley takes his chance.

PAIRINGS: toxic!Draco x OC, Ron x OC, Ginny x Luna

im not sure that I like how this turned out, but hopefully you all enjoy it! I was very surprised I got so much positive feedback on that little one shot i posted. thank you all for the love!

also, let me know if you want to be on the taglist for the next part.

Perhaps it was her conversation with Ginny the previous night, or perhaps it was because she felt so hollow inside, but Mae resolved herself on confronting Draco. Of course, he didn’t make things easy for her. He never did.

“Pansy and Draco are sitting awfully close, aren’t they?” Blaise said conversationally, taking a sip of his morning coffee. Full of cream, three sugars. As always.

Mae eyed Draco and Pansy warily, noting the way Pansy laughed into Draco, her hand seeming to move onto his leg although it was hidden from the table. “They’re just friends.”

“Rubbish,” scoffed Blaise harshly, stabbing an egg. “You’re much smarter than that, love.”

Pansy took that moment to brush Draco’s hair out of his face, and something broke inside Mae as Draco caught her hand in his own, bringing her knuckles to his lips and ghosting a kiss across them.

“It’s none of your business though, innit?” snapped Mae, slamming her glass of pumpkin juice down so harshly it brought the attention of the entire half of their table, including Draco and Pansy. “If Draco wants to fuck a slut, let him.”

Blaise choked on his eggs, slamming a fist into his chest as he attempted to swallow. Draco tilted his head, a sneer on his face, while Pansy began hurling insults at Mae.

“Perhaps if you weren’t a filthy half-blood, Draco would be more interested. He wants a real woman.” Pansy declared wickedly, her lips lifted up in a snarl.

“A real woman with real STDs, hm?” retorted Mae, standing up from the table. “Everyone knows you fucked Theodore Nott last week, and he had to go to Madam Pomfrey from whatever you gave him!”

The part about Pansy fucking Theodore Nott was true, although the STD part was not. But Mae was so angry, so fed up with how the both of them were treating her, that she couldn’t contain it anymore. At this point, most of the Great Hall had caught sight of what was happening, although the teachers at least pretended to be oblivious. She caught sight of Ginny grinning at her encouragingly.

“I’m going to be honest with you, because no one else will,” Draco said the words slowly, casually, as though he were speaking of the weather. “Anyone who says they’re interested in you, beyond just fucking you, is a liar.”

Mae felt her cheeks burn, as the Slytherin table began laughing and oohing under their breath, and she rushed out of the Great Hall. She heard footsteps behind her, but she ignored them, until someone tugged harshly on her arm, the rings on his fingers alerting her to who it was.

“Why?” demanded Mae, turning around with unshed tears. An amused Draco stood in front of her, looming over her. “Why do you do this to me?”

Perhaps the question caught him off guard, because Draco replied with “I don’t know.”

Mae let out a strangled sob, wiping her hands harshly down her face. “I just want to be the one you love.”

“Oh darling,” Draco said the words softly, reaching out to caress her cheek. Mae closed her eyes for a moment, and she could pretend everything was fine. “I’ll never love you.”

With those words, Draco shoved her jaw harshly, causing a loud popping noise to sound as pain reverberated through the lower half of her face.

“I’m breaking up with you.” Mae said the words first, opening her eyes to see Draco actually looking.. Hurt, by her words.

“Took you long enough.”

Mae looked to see Ginny heading her way, her hand intertwined with Luna’s, with the Golden trio, Pansy, and Blaise following close behind.

“We would have never made it anyways.” Draco responded quietly, and Mae felt a bit vindicated to see that he appeared to feel at least partially upset.

“That’s your fault.” her voice shook, but Mae said the words passionately.

“How?” he had the nerve to sound incredulous, and Mae balled up her fists as tears of anger came to her eyes.

“You always cheated on me with Pansy! You treated me like I was your pet, like you could keep fucking around without any care for my feelings!” the words she had been keeping in for so long burst out, and she felt a rush of vindication that she finally got to say them aloud.

Draco scoffed, and any hope of him apologizing or fighting for her went out the window. “You really think I give a shit about you? It’s your loss, Callisto.” he sneered her last name, looking over his shoulder to see the others approaching them.

Mae’s eyes hardened, hatred growing as Pansy ran pathetically over to Draco. “Your whore’s here.”

Pansy rolled her eyes. “Sorry you don’t know how to keep a man.”

“Don’t make this harder than it has to be Callisto,” Draco drawled out, slinging an arm over Pansy. “Nobody likes a slut that doesn’t understand when her time is up.”

“What did you just say?” Ron Weasley was the last person Mae expected to speak to Draco after he said those words.

Draco scoffed. “You heard me, Weas-”

Before Draco could get the full word out, Ron’s fist collided with Draco’s delicate features. Mae’s eyes widened as Ron wound his fist back once more, knocking Draco flat on his back. Pansy started screaming, and Blaise started laughing.

“Blaise, help him!” Pansy shrieked, slapping a hand to her mouth in horror.

Blaise sighed, rolling his eyes. He gave Mae a quick look, (perhaps in an apology?) before he gave Ron a swift kick to his stomach. Ron stumbled backwards, falling on his bottom, and Draco lay on the ground clutching his bruised and bloody face.

Pansy promptly threw herself down onto Draco, and Blaise stood there with his arms crossed as though he were just waiting for the show to be over. Mae, on the other hand, had nothing left to say to Draco, and turned her attention to Ron, who had just gotten off the floor with the help of Harry.

“Thank you,” the words were quiet, but sincere. Ron nodded to her, his eyes not wavering from hers.

“He’s not worth it, yeah?” said Ron, shaking his bruised knuckles. “He never deserved you.’

Mae, suddenly flooded with emotion, just shook her head, and with tears burning in her eyes, she left the scene behind her.

--=--

The hardest thing was seeing Draco be so openly affectionate with Pansy. It broke her, each time she entered the common room to see her sitting on his lap. Getting a kiss on the cheek. A hug. A tender embrace. It burned like hell.

So, she began spending less time in the common room. She began joining Luna and Ginny on their outings, normally in the astronomy tower, and at some point, the Golden Trio started joining them. It became a routine, the six of them hanging out in either the tower or the library, if Hermione got her way.

On the bright side, her grades had never been better.

A month after the incident with Draco, Mae found herself feeling the wound particularly harshly. She paced outside the Gryffindor common room, hoping to find Ginny coming out of the portrait hole. Instead, she got Ron Weasley, who didn’t seem all too surprised to find her out there.

“You alright?” Ron asked awkwardly, halfway in the doorframe and halfway out.

Mae shook her head silently, her chest aching. “Not really.”

“How ‘bout we take a way, yeah?” suggested Ron, stepping out of the portrait hole. It swung shut loudly behind him.

Mae shrugged her shoulders, and together they walked in silence. They had no clear destination in mind, and Mae found she felt slightly better having his company around her. Ron, she had found, had a fairly dry sense of humor and it was ever so easy to laugh around him. Sometimes, the others didn’t quite understand the joke, but Mae always did. His humor was similar to hers, if she could just find it again.

“I always wondered,” Ron broke their silence, stopping to sit on a ledge overlooking the black lake. “If the squid really existed.”

“Oh, it does,” Mae assured Ron, hopping up on the opposite side of the stone ledge, wrapping her robe tightly around herself. “Sometimes in the common room, we get to see it swim by.”

Ron’s eyes flashed with admiration. “Wicked.”

“I suppose it might be a bit more exciting than overlooking the grounds,” Mae said the words pretentiously, sniffing as she hid a grin from Ron. “We get to see the inside of the black lake, while you boring Gryffindors just get landscape.”

“At least during winter we haven’t got to sleep under ten blankets just to get by,” protested Ron, bringing a hand up to brush his hair out of his face. “Then again, you might just have an iron deficiency.”

Mae’s eyes widened. “That’s a big word for Ronald Weasley.”

“Hermione mentioned it!” defended Ron, moving his hands as he spoke. “She’s the one who suggested you go to Madam Pomfrey for it! You’re always freezing!”

“It’s a perk of being damaged goods, I suppose.” Mae said the words without much thought, as she had gotten distracted by Ron’s rather large hands moving around.

Ron went still, and he gave Mae a confused look. “Damaged goods?”

Mae’s feelings of inadequacy came back, and she felt the stinging of tears hit her eyes. She tried to play it off, giving a weak laugh. “Well, yeah, what else would you call me?”

“Beautiful,” the word rolled off Ron’s tongue rather quickly, as though he hadn't had to think about it at all.

Tears slipped out of her eyes as Mae processed his words. How could anyone think she was beautiful? Couldn’t he see how damaged she was? Draco had used her up and thrown her out, and no one else would ever want his seconds. He had told her that many times.

“Don’t,” the words came out wet and wobbly. “Don’t lie to me.”

Ron was rarely serious, but he completely focused on her as he reached out to grab her hand in his large one. “Mae, why would I lie about that?”

The tears came freely now, and she could feel a sob building up in her chest. “Ronald Weasley, don’t you dare sit there and lie to me! Don’t fucking sit there, and tell me I’m beautiful, because I’m not. I’m used up and I’m damaged, I will never be anything beyond that!”

Before she could protest, Ron had pulled her into a hug, engulfing her small frame in his large one. Mae had forgotten what it was like to be embraced like this, and she buried her head into Ron’s wide chest as she cried. In the back of her mind, she understood that was likely having a panic attack.

“Calm down Mae,” Ron held her close, caressing her hair. “You’ll be alright.”

They sat like that, until Mae’s cries subsided and she took a shaky breath, pulling out of Ron’s embrace. She was suddenly embarrassed that she had overreacted as she did, and a blush stained her wet cheeks.

“‘M sorry about that,” mumbled Mae, wiping her cheeks roughly. “I didn’t mean to make you all soggy.”

Ron laughed at that. “Why would I complain, a beautiful girl cried on me today. Sounds like a win to me!”

Mae hit Ron on his arm for that, a small laugh coming out of her as well. If anything, Ron Weasley knew how to switch the mood. “Don’t be a prat, Weasley.”

Ron’s eyes crinkled in the corners as he tossed his head back in a loud bout of laughter, and Mae found herself staring at his full lips. Really, how had she not noticed how perfectly shaped Ron’s lips were before? And Merlin, how were his teeth so straight and white?

As quickly as she began admiring Ron Weasley, images of silver hair and grey eyes flashed through her mind, and she shut her eyes and swallowed hard. There would never be Draco and Mae, that much was clear. It did not do to dwell on things that would never change.

“Imagine leaving me for a Weasley.”

Mae’s stomach dropped as she saw Draco swaggering towards her and Ron, Blaise close behind him. She hated how she still got butterflies as he eyed her appraisingly, before sneering at Ron.

“Shut it, Malfoy.” snapped Ron, his ears growing pink as he dug in his robes for his wand.

“Oh,” whistled Draco, drawing out the vowel. “Weaselbee is going to show off how big of a man he is. Trust me, Weasel, been there, done that. I’m the best she’ll ever have had.”

“Tell me Malfoy, you ever been hexed so hard you had to fight for your life?” snarled Ron, standing before the silver haired boy and brandishing his wand.

Mae quickly got down from the stone ledge, standing in between Draco and Ron, placing a hand on both of their chests. “Both of you, stop it!”

Ron’s jaw clenched, and he didn’t lower his wand. Draco smirked at the sight of her hand on his chest, his eyes flicking down at it before backup to look her in the eyes.

“Stop looking at me like that,” Mae said the words firmly, glaring at Draco. “We aren’t together anymore. Stop acting like this.”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t fight little Weaselbee.” drawled Draco, flexing his fingers on his wand. “I still had you first.”

“And I fucking left you!” shouted Mae, shoving Draco back from her and Ron. “Get that through your thick skull, and go back to Pansy. The bitch you always cheated on me with!”

“You said you loved me.” Draco said the words softly, bitterly, so quickly that Mae almost didn't catch it.

For a moment, it felt as though it were just the two of them, Draco and Mae, just as it should have been.

Mae stepped back, away from Draco, away from Ron. Her mouth twitched, her eyes grew wet, and she was at a loss for words. She turned then, and hurried out of the courtyard.

How dare he do this to her.

taglist: @xoxohollands @phantomsmalfoystyles @lidiyabest @justmimithings

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#draco imagine #draco x y/n #draco malfoy #draco x oc #ron weasley #ronald weasley #ron weasley x oc #ron weasley x reader #toxic draco #harry potter #hp #ron x y/n #ron x mae #draco x mae

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Love Doesn’t Do Encores Ch18 Battle Gym Leader Melony

It wasn't too surprising all of you fell asleep on the train again that night, seeing how late it was getting when you all hurried onto it like an army of onix was chasing after you all. Thank goodness you managed to catch it and settled down into a couple empty seats to sleep for the night. Come morning the lot of you were already digging into your rations for breakfast to comfort your hungry stomachs that growled for food. And made small talk as the world went flying by outside the windows.

"So how long until we reach Circhester?," you asked biting into come kind of breakfast bar that tasted like bacon bits and oatmeal.

"It's the farthest town from all the others in Galar except for the town in the Crown Tundra Valley but that's farther in the mountains than we need to go," Victor explained after he had pulled out his own phone and pulled up his regional maps to look through them, "It's also deep within the Galarian Mountain Reign so it'll take us about three weeks to get there by train."

"Oh really?"

He nodded again. "The stop we want is Steamdrift Station. From there it's about an hour walk down Steamdrift Way until we get to Circhester and it's gyms."

You paused before blinking and looking at him. Drizzilie taking this chance to pull the rest of your food away from you to eat itself. "Gyms? As in plural?...Like more than one gym?"

"Oh yeah! Guess we haven't told ye!," Gloria cut in leaning into her hand. "The Ice and Rock Type Gyms are located up there and are handled by the gym leader Melony n' 'er son Gordie!"

You paused...eyes blinking wide at them for a moment before pointing. "Hey! Wait a minute! I remember those guys!" YEAH! You did remember them! Ironic since you couldn't remember much of anything else in game. Melony according to in game info was supposed to have a harsh battle style and supposedly be an incredible coach. She ran the Ice type Gym while her son Gordie was in charge of the nieghboring Rock Type Gym also in Circhester. He's supposed to be really popular in a similar way to Raihan and have his own fan base as well that he treats respectfully. ..But the mother and son had a fight over Gordie not wanting to take over his mother's gym and instead but somehow she still became the very first member of his fan club. ...Also he was supposed to have younger siblings as well but you didn't think they were ever shown in the game. You remembered!! That's great! Maybe now you'd start remembering things much more now!! ....You blinked upon noticing the three staring at you. "Uh!...I m-mean I remembering some people talking about them before. Apparently Gordie's pretty popular in Galar."

Hop nodded. "Yeah he is! Last year he was voted Galar's third most eligable bachelor behind Raihan and Lee himself. But unlike Raihan he actually throws a lot of his own events and showings. Lee mentioned once he trained under the old Rock Type Gym Leader before he retired and took over the gym after."

You sighed. Bullet dodged! "Oh. Sounds like he's really nice then." And hopefully won't flirt with you like Raihan did.

Thus began your group's long, LONG trip to the Galarian Mountain Range. Just like your trip back to Motostoke, you all slept on the emptied seats at night but being more prepared Victor had set up his Rotom phone's gps to set off an alarm once the lot of you reached the likes of the station you wanted so you all wouldn't have to take turns staying up all night again to keep an eye out for the right station you wanted. Which was a great idea! Over the next few days you all fell into that repeated pattern minus taking turns staying up at night and during the day just talking about random things while eating food from your rations or looking at whatever the teens pulled up from the internet to show you. Gloria at one point even pulled out her dex books again to finish putting the rest of her pictures into them and showed you the new addtions courtesy of her twin before passing the books over towards the two boys for them to flip through themselves and admire Gloria's handy work. A few more days went by this way until one day Victor all of a sudden said you all should stop at the next town to restock up on food again since it wasn't as much as he thought it was. To which everyone agreed too and at the next town, got off the train and went into one of the random stops which turned out to be a small town like Postwick. From there the four of you gathered supplies and did everything else to prepare to travel again by the time the next train came around before getting back on it and back on your way to Circhester. Day in and night out you four traveled and traveled and traveled. You were starting to get train sick with how much this was going on and found yourself walking up and down the walkways in turns with the others to keep up the exercise and not let yourselves turn your legs to jelly. Until one particular night when you woke up with a shiver. There was a chilly atmosphere inside the metal train from when you were last awake and it was enough for you to make yourself get up groggily. Only to find your drizzilie was lightly shivering as well curled up against your warmer body and stayed clung to you as it groaned in protest at the cold.

"What the-"

"Hey you." You rubbed your eyes turning tiredly to Hop who had his own coat thrown over his shoulders and smiled. "So you're finally awake huh?"

You yawned. "What time is it?"

"About ten in the morning. We're getting closer to the mountains," Victor said and you turned to him next as he rechecked the map on his phone, "We'll be at Steamdrift Station within 'bout three days but you might want to throw on a coat. It's gonna get a wee bit more colder from 'ere on out."

That wasn't a too bad idea actually. You were quick to pull on the coat you had bought and with a bit of a tussle you somehow with Gloria's help managed to pry Drizzilie off of you and put him inside your bag's main opening with Gloria holding it open before you pulled both him and the bag into your lap to make room. And to help keep the lil guy warm. Your pokemon gave a bored expression as he settled down into using the bag as his personal sleeping bag.

"Hey. Don't get too comfy," you reminded him, "Cuz when we leave Circhester you're going back to walking with us again Mr. I-Refuse-To-Get-In-My-Pokeball." Other than rolling his eyes with a sigh, Drizzilie didn't say anything against what you said. "You heard me. This is just to make sure you don't go from a water type to a frozen-water type."

The rest of the three days there was pretty much the same, only now it was hard for any of you all to get to sleep now curled up in the seats because of the cold. Why you even dug out a scarf and wrapped it around your neck and half your face. Didn't these trains have darn heating!? The landscape outside the windows changed too. Going from looking like fall-ish time of the year to mid way between fall and winter, until the last day when you all woke up to have found yourselves so, so...SO!! Cold, and you shivered yanking the hood over your f/c hair more as you looked around and noticed white snow was being blown against the windows like some snow storm. And for all you knew there could actually be one out there.

"ZZZTT. Attention Passengers!," the conductor announced over the speakers to anyone left on bourd. "We'll be arriving at SteamDrift Station within ten minutes. That is all."

"That's our stop!," Victor confirmed, "Make sure you all grab everythin' before we get off."

You all made sure to gather your things, you especially making sure to pull the small hoodie over your Drizzilie's head before pushing him into your bag and telling him to stay in there until you said it was safe for him to come out before zipping your bag up but leaving enough of an opening to allow fresh air to him. Slowly after a few minutes the train finally came to a stop and you all followed Victor out towards the door, you grunting as you stuggled to sling the bag over your shoulders. You had forgotten how heavy this lil guy actually was when carried. You were extremely thankful for the guys getting you the thick coat and scarf too because the familiar full force of Winter hit you as soon as the you all stepped out the door and you shivered from the frosty cold greeting you all. The entire sky was painted in grey snow clouds that made the day look a little dull while snow gently fell from them and down towards the earth below. Around you was a plain looking station that looked more deserted since no one not even a station master was there, and surrounding you all was cliffsides and hills like in Stow-on-Side except unlike Stow-on-Side these were absolutely COVERED in snow and ice as far as the eyes could see as the four of you stood there taking in the sights. The only living things besides you all being pine trees scattered across the snowy land with a cobblestone road leading away from the station that Victor after a moment pointed at.

"That's Steamdrift Way," He explained holding up his phone with a gloved hand to the lot of you showing a map with a red blinking dot that signalled where you all were. "It's connected to Route E-E-Eight. If we go this way we should be at Circhester w-within an hour after crossing Circhester Bridge."

"T-T-Then w-what are we waiting f-f-for?!," Hop stuttered in the cold before pointing a hand forward. "L-Let's get there before we become on thin ice!"

There wasn't any arguments with him as you all headed off. Snow and ice crunched under your all's feet making your group sound like a couple of wooly mammoths trudging through the snow. You all (even you through your scarf covered mouth) could see your breath as snowflakes stuck to your bodies like someone glued white confetti to your clothes as you all followed Victor and his map through the snow. Thank goodness it didn't cover the road up, or else you all might've gotten lost. As you all trudged alone keeping your hands in your pockets after pulling the ends of the sleeves over them to help keep them warm, you all FINALLY came to the stone bridge Victor mentioned before. A cold river running with cold water ran under it as you all crossed and as you walked over it you prayed your drizzilie didn't decided to pop out wanting to swim or see what was going on.

"W-W-We should be there in t-t-ten m-m-more minutes!," Victor shouted back pulling his beanie further over his head.

"B-B-Bloody heck, V-Vick! 'M freezin' my t-tail off 'ere n' I-I ain't even got one!," Gloria yelled back complaining.

"The sooner we git there the sooner ya can rest! So take the energy from ya yappin' mouth and put it to your feet!," He yelled back and Gloria mumbled under her breath.

So you all continued to walk and walk, until you finally reached the end of the road that lead into a metal fenced entrance to Circhester. And you all had a collected sigh of relief once you all got there. It was decently big with it's many story stone buildings you could make out in the snow with cobblestone roads leading everywhere and the figures of two large stadiums on either side of the town as you all got to walking into it. You all passed the pink pokemon center near the entrance of the town and turned right heading towards what you guessed was the town square. A hot spring like fountain was dead set in the middle and there was people walking all around in winter wear with some ice type pokemon or pokemon who could stand this cold weather. Two men had stands selling food in the square as you walked past, one selling some kind of hot wraps and the other......ice..cream??

"D-Dang nabit, V-Vick! W-W-Where's the b-b-bloody hotel a-around here?," Gloria asked rubbing her arms in a failed attempt to warm herself.

"I-I'm with G-Glory on this," Hop added looking around, "I d-don't feel like camping out here at all."

"I'm WORKIN' on it!," Victor spat scowling at his phone hand lightly shaking.....before he pointed ahead of him at a BIG building in front of you all. "H-Hotel is there! L-Let's go!"

You all didn't hesitate to RUN your way to the building he pointed out jack frost biting at your ankles as you did. You all didn't even care if the door was flung open with a loud noise. The rush of warm air greeting your skins was enough to make up for it in your minds as you sighed. Turning your head up to the ceiling in the bliss of getting out of the cold. After a moment or two you finally opened your eyes and blinked them wide open at what you were all looking at. If you thought the Budew Drop Inn in Motostoke was Fancy this place was absolutely F A N C Y with a capitol F!!! It was like one of those luxery hotels in Paris you'd sometimes see in movies or on tv. Complete with marble floors and chandeliers lighting the place up. It was also HUGE!! And this was just the lobby as you gawked around. The other three were busy shaking snow off themselves as Victor walked up to the man at the lobby counter most likely to book your rooms. You hope they weren't too expensive by the looks around here. A moment later he returned with two keys handing one to Gloria before he gestured to the elevator.

"Let's go get settled in and rest for a bit. I'm too cold to think straight. You guys got room fifthteen on the first floor." Whelp! You couldn't argue with that as you all headed towards the elevator and got inside. The trip to the first floor wasn't a very long one as you all piled out and Victor motioned for Hop to follow him to one of the very first rooms closest to the elevator. "I say we all get warmed up and meet up in the lobby to talk 'bout what's the game plan for us 'ere."

"Alright," you agreed with a nod before following Gloria, "We'll see you two in a bit."

Both boys nodded as well before they turned back, Victor unlocking the door with his key before opening it and they disappeared inside. You sped walked to catch up to Gloria who was already standing in front of a door and turning the knob and throwing it open-

"So that means the culprit must be among us!" Gloria paused in the doorway. Eyes wide and hand still out from throwing the door open. "....Wait....Who are you!?" ..You wanted to facepalm. Oh NO!! Don't tell me Gloria opened the wrong door and walked in on someone. You sped up your walking pace as she blinked again. "After all the trouble of deducing things don't go messing it up now!"

By the time you got to Gloria she was already scowling before pointing her frozen hand at him. "N' who might the likes o' you be!?"

You blinked when you looked inside the room....There was a man there along with an older man, a 'hipster' looking girl, a young boy, and some kind of squirrel looking pokemon chewing something as you all stared at one another...Until the middle aged looking man coughed.

"*cough* I suppose I should introduce myself," he proudly put a hand to his chest, "The name's Howses. Yes. THAT Howses. The great detective. I've been hired by the hotel. At present I have corner the culprit of a most heinous crime!"

"What happened?," you asked. Did someone get robbed? Did something go missing? Something worse?!

"I'm glad you asked," Mr. Howses stated, " And that crime is!..The strange case of who ate the large quantity of berries in the lobby!" He shouted pointing to a random basket of apple cores....You and Gloria both gave each other a look. "I've gathered the three people who were present in the lobby at the time of the crime but because of the noise my marvelous deductive reasoning seems somewhat muddled at present."...The hotel...Hired a private detective ..to investigate missing fruit.....What a waste of time! He suddenly pointed at Gloria. "That's it! You interfering child! You will be my assistant!"

Gloria gave him a blank look. "...What?"

"Listen to the stories of each suspect and find the culprit," he said as if what he had just said wasn't crazy or unprofessional at all.

"....Yeah. I ain't doin' that." Gloria dead panned before pointing at the obvious pokemon in the room. "'Sides. I already know who it was-"

Instead of listening the man waved her off and laughed in her face. "Heh heh heh. After listening to everyone's accounts deduced the culprit!"....NO ONE SPOKE!! He pointed at the young hipster looking gal who looked just as deadpanned and done with this as Gloria. "Dancer! You are the culprit!"

"WHAT!?," she demanded angrily, "Why me?!"

"Because you're a dancer! You move and shake your body so much that you needed all that food for extra energy! That's evidence as clear and sharp as the leek of a farfetch'd!"

"WHAT!? What does that even mean!? You're no detective! You're a fraud!" Your thoughts exactly!

The man gave a nervous look all of a sudden. "W-Who are you calling a fraud!? You can't be referring to me! The great detective!"

"I can't deal with this disrespect! I leave it to you! You find the real culprit-"

"*AHEM!!*" Everyone looked back to Gloria who scowled and pointed to the small pokemon chittering at everyone around them. "IT. WAS. THAT!! They ate the darned fruit ya ninnies can't seem ta take a hint of."

The 'detective' blinked before turning to the pokemon. "What? That skwovet is the one responsible?" He looked closer at the small pokemon who looked at him curiously covered in food. "A-.....As expected of my assistant!" He loudly proclaimed all of a sudden proudly and crossing his arms looking pleased with himself. "Splendid! Just splendid! I'm overjoyed!"....He peeked an eye out at all of you annoyed and angry at him before coughing. "Well now that's taken care of...I must be off now." He suddenly sped walked towards you and Gloria and you both scrambled to move aside as he took off down the hall. "Take care, Everyone!"

"Hey you! Just wait a minute!," the girl yelled before running right after the 'detective'.

"Hahaha! I guess I'm supposed to chase after him too," the old man said before also jogging after the two as you and Gloria squished against the sides of the doorway to give them room...before looking after them....and blinking to one another.

"What the world was THAT about?," she asked.

"Honestly I have no idea and I'm too tired to really care," you mumbled gesturing her towards your actual room. "Let's go set up our room and take a break before we have to meet back up with the others."

Fast forward about an hour after finding the right room and getting yourself settled, you all made it down to the lobby to meet up with Victor and Hop. After you had let your Drizzilie out, thankful that he didn't seem to be hurt or even bothered as she walked out and stretched out like a cat before you all left. Promising you'd bring him back some food. Finding the boys already waiting for the both of you with their winter wear and waved the two of you over.

"There you guys are," Victor greeted seeing the two of you walk over, "We've been waiting for ten minutes and I wanted to try and get things as done here as soon as possible."

"We've only just got here this morning," you calmly reasoned raising a questioning brow at him. Yeah you wanted to leave as soon as you all could too since it was freezing and obviously the weather probably wasn't good for your pokemon, but you didn't think you've ever seen Victor this insistant on leaving somewhere so quickly. "What's gotten you into wanting to leave so soon?"

"Vick here hates the cold," Hop explained before humming, "Scratch that. He absolutely despises it."

"Well it's not MY fault that ice is so dangerous and you have a great chance of freezin' ta death," Victor snapped back pouting.

"Nevermind that! Did you guys figure out what you wanted to do yet?," you asked changing the subject to avoid more fighting.

Surprisingly both boys nodded and Hop spoke again. "I wanted to try my hand at beating the Rock Type Gym since I think I've come up with a strategy to beat him."

"I was actually thinking about taking on the other Gym 'n town, "Gloria pondered thoughtfully, "I got a good idea 'bout how to defeat Melony after watchin' a lot of her battles on the train ride 'ere. But first I need ta stop by the center and switch out some of me pokemon in order to make it work."

"Well I wanted to stop by around town and get some pictures of the famous Circhester hot springs," Victor explained holding up his camera, "The legends say that the great Hero of Galar rested in the springs and it healed all his wounds. ..Plus I wanted to try the famous Bob's Your Uncle cafe here too. They're supposed to have THE best curry in all of Galar, and who knows when I'll come back here again." He then looked at you. "What about you Y/n?"

You looked at him interested. "Well if I'm being completely honest I think I'll come with you. It's been a while since I've been able to walk around and go sight seeing."

"Then it's settled! Let's meet back 'ere in the lobby when we're all finished."

You all agreed and after tightening your coats around you more, all made off your own ways. Gloria heading in the direction of the pokemon center on the other side of town before going off to battle with you and the boys heading in the opposite direction towards the rock gym since the famous Hero Springs Victor wanted to look at. Eventually parting with him too as soon as the both of you got there. Wishing him luck against Gordie before he left and you followed Victor to what you could only describe as a bath house modeled closely to the buildings of the ancient roman times back on your world. You followed Victor around marveling the sights and old looking structure as he smiled despite his hate for the cold and snapped plenty of pictures of everything as he did back at the Hammerlocke Castle Ruins. You walked up to the steaming water that almost looked boiling hot that was roped off from the public just touching it and watched the warm steam rise from it. Sighing as the warm steam was welcomed against the biting cold you couldn't get away from right now. Victor having getting his share of the old historical sight mentioned there was a few other places that the spring water came through, like the fountain in the town square and mentioned wanting to check out the extended parts of the underground spring as well and offered for you to come if you were interested in coming with him. Of course you agreed since you really had nothing else to do at that moment while waiting for the other two to complete their Gym battles, which by now you were sure they were doing or at least finishing up any gym challenge they were doing at the moment, before going back to the meet up spot anyways. So together you two traveled from the front of the rock type gym to the center of town so he could document more of the springs, before following him again as he moved somewhere else and you followed him down a small flight of stairs to another but much more smaller part of the springs that wasn't so visible or visited by the public. And then another small spot just like a little farther aways on the other side of town. It was...Pretty peaceful despite the chilling cold and snow lightly still falling around you, Victor, and everyone else walking around. It was quiet except for your footsteps crunching through the snow and anyone else walking around or talking. Walking around the decently big town with Victor you noticed there was also a few businesses besides the pokemon center. Your resident barber shoppe, an antique store, a few small little thift shops that sold merchandise of what looked like the two gyms and their gym leaders at the brief glances through the windows you gave, a grocery store, a clothes store, of course the hotel, and a strange looking cafe with the Logo of a man out in front. A sign above the door told you the name of said establishment. Bob's Your Uncle. Hey. Wasn't that the cafe Victor mentioned back at the hotel he mentioned wanting to see? You pointed it out to him and he seemed to light up! Mentioning how you two should drop by and seeing it even if you didn't eat anything. You agreed since by all the walking around and sight seeing you did, you two must've been out here for nearly two hours by this point. So it'd be nice to warm up for a bit. So you two happily walked up to said store and pushed the door open before walking right in. The warm air of the cafe combined with the mouth watering smells of the food made you sigh in relief. Another bigger picture of the logo man was inside on one of the walls, with the place being a color scheme of yellow and red, and a few people sitting around eating already. Including one particular boy who looked up from his seat in the back when Victor pointed him out.

"Hey Hop!," Victor called over to him and Hop looked up from where he was sat phone in one hand and hot coco in the other but smiled when he saw you two approuching. "What are you doing here? I thought we were gonna meet back at the hotel."

Hop shrugged. "Yeah, but I thought it'd be fine to stop by for some hot chocolate. Who doesn't like hot coco?"

"I know I do!," You agreed with a smile, "How did your battle go?"

"Arghhh." He slumped back turning his head up to the ceiling with a groan. ""I lost. It all went to pot. There must've been something wrong with my strategy but I just did what I've seen Lee do in battles!"

"Huh..Well maybe that's the problem."

He paused before blinking back to you as you looked at him. "....Huh? Whaddya mean?''

"Well, everyone has different fighting styles. Including you and Gloria, and if these guys are a part of the league and you're trying to fight like Leon, they'll probably be able to beat you because they've seen how Leon fights and knows how best to counteract his style."

"But he's the unbeatable champion! If I use his method I should be able to be unbeatable too! I've studied his style for years!"

"It may seem like that," You explained, "But it IS Leon's style and he's perfected it. If someone tries to copy him they won't be as perfect as it compared to someone who's mastered his own style to a degree that makes him such a powerful trainer. And everyone's style is constantly changing. Think about it. If Lee kept his style the EXACT same then eventually someone would've found a flaw in it by now and taken the title from him. Leon doesn't have 'just one style' either. Like everyone else they train and adapt to better themselves that's how he's unbeatable. It's ok to use things you learnt other people do, but you said yourself you were thinking of new strategies. Instead of trying to apply what you think Leon would do, ask yourself what would YOU do."

Hop paused seeming to stare at you for a while before humming and looking back to his phone. "...You actually might have a point. I'll have to rethink a few things then."

You smiled. "Glad I could help. Speaking of which Where's Gloria? If you're finished with your battle then that must mean Gloria is too right?"

"Maybe she's waiting for us back at the hotel."

"Oh hey!" You yelped and jumped around at the lady's voice that suddenly came up behind you, and found yourself face to face with none other than said brunette Girl and Sonia who chuckled at your reaction. "There you are."

....You sighed before giving her a frown. "First Leon and now you too Sonia?" You crossed your arms. "Seriously. Give a girl a warning you're gonna do that first...Wait. What are you doing here anyways?"

"Got that Gym badge, Glory?," Hop asked politely.

Gloria nodded with a proud hum. "I jus' had ta switch out for some fire n' steel types I caught. Wasn't easy tho."

"Nice one!," Hop complimented before holding something out to her, "That reminds me. Here. Take this. It's the rock leader's league card. You should check out the gym leader you'll have to face too. And me. I've gotta figure out what to put on my team once and for all and no more of this doubting! Especially when I have to defeat at least one of the gyms here for their badge."

"Gee thanks!" She eagerly took the card from him.

"I've been trying to found out more about the Darkest Day and the sword and shield pokemon, but still no luck." She sighed before shaking her head. "I was hoping to investigate the Heroes Bath after studying the tapestries and castle ruins in Hammerlocke." Oh. So she had been there before. "And I haven't been able to get more intel on the strange discovery in Stow-on-Side since the Chairman's team is still researching and the area's become off limits to anyone who isn't the League or authorized. But I just ran into Gloria here and figured the rest of you couldn't be far behind her."

You chuckled. "Well you aren't wrong. I'm really sorry about all the dead ends stopping your work Sonia. I'm sure you'll get a break through somewhere." And you DID know since according to the game she does.

She smiled. "Well thank you, Y/n. It's much appreciated." Her blue eyes glanced behind you. "It's really nice ...." She paused staring right over your shoulder. "...to..see you...Wait."

You rose a brow. "What?" Your f/c eyes blinked in confusion when Sonia all of a sudden grabbed you and pushed you aside a bit as she moved behind you. Unintentionally making you bump into the table Hop was sitting at making him scramble to hold his hot coco out of harm's way as you gave her a look. "Sonia!?"

"Hold on!" She exclaimed back looking at a wall. But more importantly what was ON the wall. Which looked like half a tapestry. And in the very SAME art style and people on them from the Hammerlocke Vault!! "No way! What's this!?"

"Uh...A fifth tapestry??"

"The heroes!" She exclaimed pointing to both of the same men from the first tapestries. "Look..sad. And where are the sword and shield?" She hummed before scanning it more. "What was the meaning of this picture?" Ever the fast thinker wasn't she?

You pushed yourself from the table dusting your still slightly snow covered self off before shrugging. "Well those behind them look kinda like grave stones or some kind of sealed tomb." You pointed out pointing at the tapestry and Sonia squinted harder at where you were pointing. "This probably just means the end of the legend. Y'know. Where the hero finally gets to have peace after his long battle? It happens all the time in fairytales."

"You think so?," she asked giving you a glance. As you shrugged she looked back to the tapesry, or what seemed to remain of it, with her hand to her chin blankly staring at it. "....Didn't think I'd see something like this in Bob's Your Uncle. I guess it could be they passed on or that they were sealed away. Or maybe they've gone into some kind of sleep?"

"Well...I mean they call it 'rest in peace' for a reason."

"Well.." You flinched when Hop spoke, not expecting the boy to be studying the tapestry too. "Based on those statues we saw at Stow-on-Side, the sword and shield were actually two pokemon right?"

You rose a brow. "Since when did you see those statues back in Stow-on-Side?? You and Victor left before Bede's stunt."

"Gloria showed me pictures she took of it before you left. But it kinda dawned of me seeing those sword and shield symbols on them. Couldn't they have been pokemon?"

"That's right! That's my take on it at least."

"......Hey." She suddenly turned to Hopand blinked as he pointed to Gloria. "You remember the pokemon we met that day?" ...Gloria rose a confused brow as he spoke. "You remember. That weird giant blurry pokemon we met in the Slumbering Weald."

"Oh yeah! I've completely forgottin' 'bout that by now." She shivered. "Still gives me the heeby jeebies."

Hop chuckled a bit. "Do you think...it could've been one of them?" he gestured the hand holding his phone to her. "Either the sword or shield pokemon? The blurry fog monster we saw kinda looked like those pokemon statues in Stow-on-Side you showed us."

"You..." Sonia was slow to blink and look at Both the kids wide eyed as she talked. The only one who looked super confused was Victor who you guessed hadn't heard of the 'mysterious fog pokemon' bit. "Met them?! Like...Really REALLY met them!?"

"Come on. You know what I'm talking about right, Glory?"

She nodded, "Yep. Right before Lee bailed us out o' the Slumberin' Weald."

"Exactly! We told you too Sonia remember. The mad pokemon we ran into in the fog! Although..I can't remember seeing it too well. Don't you think that could've been it?", Hop pondered.

"Oh right! You lot have been in the Slumbering Weald!"

"Duh."

You gave Gloria a small tap to her shoulder as if to say 'Don't be rude.' "As much as I agree this is all strange, don't you all think you're jumping the gun here a bit? That could've been any big pokemon in the fog, and you said it yourself. You don't remember much of what it looked like. We shouldn't just make assumptions without proof."

Hop hummed. "I guess you're right. It'd be too much of a coincidence anyhow. But it's not an assumption, just a guess. Doesn't hurt to theorize ideas."

Sonia on the other hand smiled happily and held up her hands excitedly. "I only started on this journey because my gran told me to, but this is turning out to be so much fun! You've got to tell me more! How about we discuss this over a meal? Go on. What do you want to eat? Let's get our orders in!"

"Whoa! Hey there buckaroo!" She blinked when you grabbed her shoulder and she blinked. "As much as I love the food as much as the next person, maybe you should slow down there a bit. Didn't you just get here or something?"

...She gave a bashful face. "Oh yeah. R-Right. Sorry I must've gotten caught up in the moment. But hey! How about I treat you all to a nice curry and hot chocolate anyways? It'd be the least I could do for all the kindness you've shown me."

"I dunno. I don't wanna leave my Drizzilie in the hotel room for too long. I'm afraid he's gonna come looking for us if we're gone for too long and I don't want him outside in this weather."

"How about the sweet instant noodle curry they serve here?," Victor suggested as a compromise pointing to the counter the two men were currently cleaning, and the stack of supplies, food, and other things lining the wall behind them. "All they would have to do is poor hot water in it and it's the cheapest curry on the menu. Plus I don't like the spicy ones too much. I may hate the cold but I'm not up for burning my tongue."

Sonia nodded. "Quick and simple. Sounds like a good match to me!" She turned towards the two men and waved a hand gaining one's attention. "Yoo hoo. Sir! Five instant noodle curries and hot cocos please! Uh. Sweet wise." The man nodded before putting down the cloth he was wiping the counter with and turning to grab a few things from the shelf as Sonia gestured for the five of you to sit with Hop at the big table he was currently at. "While we wait, I'd love to hear about your experiences in the Slumbering Weald again. Maybe it'll help me piece together something."

"Sure!"

So the five of you at around the table as you all patiently heard Hop recount the entire events of the Slumbering Weald incident starting from the wooloo banging against the gate to the Slumbering Weald to when you all left it. In the middle of him retelling his your food was delivered by one of the men behind the bar and you gladly took it wanting something warm in your stomach before having to go back out in the cold, Gloria taking a quick picture of it before you all began eating it. It looked and smelt a lot like those instant ramen cups you'd sometimes had to resort to have for lunch back at home since money was tight with your mother working hard as a single mother now and you having to work summer, weekend, and afterschool jobs in your spare time to help with bills. If you didn't then she'd say you were being lazy with your music and games again...Anyways. It looked like instant ramen and was sprinkled with curry sauce. You were a bit doubtful of how it'd taste but when you ate it it wasn't that bad. It had a bittersweet kinda taste that wasn't too sweet or sour thanks to the sauce covering the noodles when you ate it, and it was a bit more like pasta than a curry. But you weren't going to complain about free curry and hot coco in this cold weather and neither was anyone else as they ate and listened to Hop, and then Gloria as she recounted her own point of view on the events which was pretty much Hop's as well but you all let her speak her mind. By the time she finished everyone had already finished eating and drinking their food even Hop who had gotten a second hot coco thanks to Sonia's generiousity.

"-and then Lee found us and marched us both back home where we met up with Y/n," Gloria finished pointing at you. "Mum was...not very happy about it all."

"Fascinating," Sonia commented thinking again, "All right." She suddenly stood up making all of you blink. "The next thing to do now that we're done eating is to have a look around Circhestester! Let's inspect the Hero's Bath."

"Huh? But we were just there. Wasn't anything that could be tied to your research," Victor said.

You shrugged as you stood up. "Well we were going to leave to go back to the hotel soon anyways. Let's go have a look since we'll have to go that way anyways."

Victor looked like he wanted to protest but sighed as his Best friend and twin also stood up to follow Sonia out the door. The cold outside nipped back at all of you as you tightened your scarf around your nose and mouth. Following Sonia back to the steaming waters of the spring under the town as you all entered back under the historical sight. Hop and Gloria looking out in awe at the place.

"The Hero's Bath, "Sonia commented looking around the place, "They say this is where the two heroes came to soothe their wounds after the battle to bring down that evil presence long ago. Nowadays only pokemon really use the Hero's bath though. Hmm. Who exactly were the heroes that bathed here? I think I'll have to look into that...Gloria! Hop!" She turned her head to shout at the two and both looked up from one of the carvings in the stone at her. "You two met a mysterious pokemon back in the Slumbering Weald. Perhaps...you two can become new heroes."

You blinked at her. Where did that come from?

Even Hop looked at her confused and skeptical. "What? Like some hero waving around a sword and shield? Psh. Pull the other one."....But he hummed. "Though...I guess I'd fancy a shield if I had to take my pick."

"Hm. What kind of battle do you think the heroes had back then?"

You shrugged and went to say something- "Why don't we show her, Glory?" Hop asked giving his friend a playful shove, "Think we can pull off a real heroic battle?"

Gloria giggled back before giving him her signiture determined look. "Oh I think that'd be just the thing ta warm up me bones!"

"Sonia treated us to a great meal. After all that curry I feel like I've got the energy to wrestle a bewear!"

Sonia returned her hands to her hips amused. " A battle now? I don't entirely understand your reasoning but I might as well see what you can do."

"FORG-G-GET IT!!", Victor yelled as you all looked at his shivering form turn on his heel and stomp off towards the hotel, "Y-Ya'll can battle if ye want! 'M headed inside the warm hotel!"

"..Hm. I'd hate to say this, but I think I getting get back too." You gave Sonia a look. "Thanks for the food. It was really good seeing you again, but I REALLY wanna go back and check on my drizzilie."

She nodded understanding. "Of course. I'd feel the same thing about Yamper if I was in your position."

You nodded before turning to the other two. "And you guys don't stay out here for too long. Come back when you're all done battling."

"We will!," Hop quickly agreed before pointing away from the Springs, "Time for a little exhibition match starring the future champion!"

With a wave to them all you all turned and jogged to catch up to Victor who was rubbing his arms and muttering to himself as he stomped his way back towards the hotel. And you didn't blame him, you wanted to get out of the cold too and see how your Drizzilie was doing. You two made your way across the town and into the familiar fancy hotel, through the elevator and immediately headed onto your own seperate rooms. You were kinda worried your pokemon might've wodnered out of the room but when you entered you found him in the same spot you left him in. Curled up on one of the beds and barely even opened an eye at you as you came back in gave giving a small thrum before curling back onto it's side away from you and going back to napping. Hmm...Maybe Hop was right about your drizzilie developing a new lazy habit. Or maybe it was because he was cold blooded or something like a snake and had a hibernation thing?? You shrugged it off and instead sighed as you finally had a moment to shed your winter coat and relax for a little bit, flopping onto the bed next to the napping pokemon who again barely moved as you did so. And you remained there eve when Gloria returned and you gave a small wave as a greeting.

"Hey. How was the battle?"

"Fine! Although I won Hop seems to finally have gotten out of the lil funk he was in thanks ta Bede!," she answered happily, " 'E's with Victor right now."

"Hey that's great to hear! It's good he's getting back into a healthier mindset."

"Yeah! I still can't wait ta see him compete in the champion finals this year! It's gonna be so much fun! I-....." She stopped talking for a second and then you heard frantic shuffling about and footsteps. With a sigh you turned your head up from the spot you were laying down at and was met with the sight of her shaking her coat upside down frantically over he bed as she looked worried. When nothing dropped from the coat she unceremoniously dropped it and whipped her head around back to you. "Y/N! My camera's gone!"

"..What?," you asked pushing yourself up as she patted herself down searching her pockets.

"Victor's camera he's lettin' me borrow!," she yelled sounding more concerned,"I was supposed ta give it back ta him once I finished fillin' me dex books!! He's gonna kill me!"

"Whoa! Hey!" You were quick to push yourself up into a sitting pose as you watched her start to likely panic. "Gloria!" She paused blinked wide eyed worried at you as you groaned standing off the bed and stretching out your back. "First you need to calm down." You held up a hand rubbing your back. "You probably just accidentally dropped it somewhere."

"WHERE!?"

"I have no idea." She looked worried again. That was probably the wrong thing to say apparently. "Whoa. Don't freak out on me here. Look. There's still plenty of daylight left. I'm sure if we just retrace your steps then we'll find it for sure. When's the last time you remembered having it?"

.....She blinked. "Uh! A-At the cafe! Then we went to the hero's bath."

You nodded. "Ok. Then let's go look over there and see if we can't find it ok?"

Gloria nodded and you sighed again. Looks like you all were going out yet again. You both quickly put your winter wear back on and out you went again. The winter weather nipping at you even colder now that it must've been about near sun down by how limited light there was too. There was still enough to clearly see the snow and all the surroundings but it was noticably colder as night drew nearer as you both stopped in front of the warm springs in the town square.

"A-Alright! 'Eere's the plan!," Gloria said pointing at you, "I'll go check the cafe you go check the bath. We'll cover more ground like that!"

You nodded wanting to get this over with as soon as possible. "Alright. But hurry, and keep an eye out in case you dropped it on the ground somewhere. Meet me back here as soon as you can."

She nodded and before you could get another word in she turned and scurried off towards the cafe area. After a moment to relax you sighed shaking your head and started walking off towards the Hero's Bath, making sure to scan the road and ground around you for any signs of a camera dropped in the snow. But you saw nothing as you looked around. Your footsteps crunched in the snow once again and you shivered rubbing your arms as you made your way towards the hero's bath still looking for it. Just when you thought you'd be able to rest for the rest of the day. You just wanted to find the darn thing and return back to the warm hotel. As you circled the large building needed to get to the Hero's Bath you paused blinking at the sight in front of you. Oh great what was it now? In front of the Hero's Bath was a small crowd of anywhere from fifthteen to about twenty people mostly women huddled around...something? Sure the Hero's Bath must've been a really cool historical sight to see but you didn't think such a crowd would gather here all of a sudden especially when it wasn't like this the other times you passed by it. Oh well. Right now you could care less and just wanted to find that darn camera and return to the hotel as soon as possible. Besides you could easily just walk around the happily chattering crowd without having to bother anyone. Get in, look around for a camera, get out, and then meet up back with Gloria. Easy enough. Or so you thought. With a sigh behind your scarf, you braced yourself and began walking your way over towards the crowd, and like you had suspected there was plenty of room to walk passed them, or so you thought again when a woman dressed in all while and with white hair suddenly appeared and you both ran right into each other. With the speed walk you were going it was impossible to stop on time before you collided with the white blur with a yelp. Stumbling back your foot slipped on some snow and down you went arms flailing landing on your bottom on the hard stone ground. Luckily you weren't hurt but you hissed and mumbled something under your breath at the feeling of the cold seeping into the back of your pants now.

"Oh my goodness gracious!," an older woman's voice exclaimed above you and when you looked up you were met with a woman who looked about the same age as your mom as she held her face in an 'Oh no' kinda pose as she looked at you. All decked out in white winter wear. "I'm so sorry, Young Lady. I didn't see you there."

You waved her off as more people turned their heads at the commotion. "Nah. It's ok. It's my fault I wasn't looking where I was going-," you had begun to say before another's voice much more louder and angrier sounding made you both look over.

"MOM!! What are you doin'!?," A man's voice shouted out as people parted and a guy who looked vaugely familiar marched his way forward. The man wore...Shades of all things in this not so sunny weather with a tan-ish coat thrown over himself and blonde-white hair that draped to just above his shoulders as he pushed his way through the small crowd of people until he stopped right in front of you and the woman. He looked right at your confused self still sitting on the ground for a moment before looking over at the woman with a deep frown. "Seriously!? Ya knocked one of my fans over?"

"I'm so sorry, Honey. Really I am," she said calmly as if she had all the patience of an ancient monk. "But it was an accident." Oh. So this must've been his mom. But what does he mean by fan?? You didn't even know this guy.

"Tch!," he scoffed before crossing his arms, "Yeah right. You crash all my events especially after I win against a gym challenger." Your eyes widened. ....Gym chall-..OH!! Now you remember! You looked between the two who had a resemblance now that you looked at them. Gym Leaders Melony and Gordie! So that's why he looked semi familiar to you. These were some of the few characters you actually remembered from your time playing the game! ..Oh. And they were known for fighting of course. "You're lucky you didn't cause her to hit her head during the fall!" You looked back up blinking wide eyed at him as he scowled at his mother. "Did you even apologise to her or were you just gonna forget that too?"

You stared wide eyed at him. Who says that to their own mother!? Through all this Melony just calmly and sadly watched him as he angrily spewed out. You WISH your mom was like Melony- "HEY!!" You were quick to try and rise to your feet stumbling a bit on the snow as you did. Rising up with your own frown behind the scarf covering your face and quickly dusting yourself off.

"Ah man. Are you alright there?," he asked holding his hand out. "Sorry about my mom-"

"Oh be quiet!" You bluntly said as you snapped your face to him, which combined with your sharp tone seemed to make him pause in the moment. "I know exactly who you are!! What is WRONG with you man!?" You couldn't help but shout at him. Well considering Gordie's only a side character who you wouldn't probably see again after Gloria defeated him, it would be ok to shout at him. Especially since you weren't in the game's storyline at the moment. So you jabbed him in the chest which made him blinked and take a couple steps back. "Of course your mother apologized to me but that's NOT the point! It was an accident and I happened to run into HER! Not the other way around!! Are you kidding me with your behavior right now, Gordie!? Don't you see what you're doing!?" You gestured towards Melony who looked shocked herself seeing you jab at her son. "You're yelling at your own mother who didn't do anything wrong in front of a bunch of your fans in public!? Are you trying to embarrass her or something!? Your mom's so much nicer than you!! Geez! What were those guys thinking!?"

"I-...W-Wha-" He sputtered but you shut him down real quick.

"NO! You're not allowed to talk to me! You know why? Because your mom's one of the nicest people in all of Galar!! DUDE GET OVER YOUR STUPID EGO!! You both had a fight like..years ago!? So WHAT?! You're running your own stadium you wanted and you have like loads of fans! Don't you think that bashing her in front of your fans would make her look bad!?....No. Scratch that." He blinked as you took a step forward and he stepped back. "It makes YOU look bad! SO I am NOT a fan of yours! I'm just here looking for a missing camera but even if I didn't I'd still feel bad for your mother! Don't you think the reason Melony makes an effort to be in your fan club and trying so hard to support you is her way of showing she cares about you and is actually sorry about the fight you two had!?" You shook your head. "Gosh. Your head must be thicker than a onix if you missed that!!"

There was silence all around as the once crowd of chattering people were all shocked and staring at you, Gordie, or Melony or looking between the three of you as Gordie just stared jaw dropped and making noises like a fish out of water as you scoffed and turned around. Melony watching with equal reaction to her son and even passing people who weren't a part of the crowd was staring right at you as you turned your back to him.

"So don't apologize to me. Because the only one you should be apologizing to is your poor mother." You gave him one last very SERIOUS look over your shoulder. "As someone who wished for a parent like her, you need to get a reality check man." You turned back to his shocked mother before sighing. "I'm really sorry about all this, Ma'am. But I gotta go. I have to meet up back with my friends."

With a new sour feeling that combined with your annoyance with the cold and falling down, without looking behind you, you turned on your heels and stomped off back towards where Gloria was headed when you both split up. You didn't feel like staying at the Hero's Bath any longer now with the eerie silent you left behind. Everyone watched after you as you disappeared....until a single THUNK sound broke the silence as Gordie's shades fell off his shocked face to the cold ground below.

#pokemon sword #pokemon shield #pokemon piers #pokemonswsh #pokemon sword and shield #pokemon piers x reader #Pokemon reader x piers #reader #piers x reader #reader x piers

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snesdudes · 4 years

Text

FIST FIGHTING WITH FIRE

chapter I

Pairing: Mason x Detective (Alice Santos)

Warnings: Book 3 demo SPOILERS!!! Cursing, some angst, mentions of sex, Mason being Mason, I guess. Sorry if there are any mistakes!

Word count: ~2k

Summary: A week after that scene on Haley’s Bakery, Mason deals with the aftermath of his words... Or has he been dealing with it since the very moment he said them?

Read on ao3

chapter II ⭐ chapter III ⭐ chapter IV ⭐ chapter V

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"Are you gonna put that down?" Nate's voice sounded gentle even when his eyes looked at him in concern. As a response, Mason took another drag of the cigarette before letting it fall to the floor and stumping it with his boot.

"We gonna go inside or what?" He pretended he wasn't worried.

A week had gone by since his last encounter with the detective. Since he last heard her voice, tasted her lips, looked into her eyes.

And it was goddamned near killing him.

It hadn't been the last time he had seen her -thank God- since he had checked on her more times than he would admit willingly. The sight of her running down the street, away from his words, away from him, made him ache in a way he wasn't used to. The strange pull on his chest, tightening, constricting, had nothing to do with the kind of aching she used to inflict on him. When that tightening sensation was on the pit on his stomach, a heat surging on his lower belly and expanding.

When she teased him relentlessly, her usually shy persona changing dramatically the moment they were alone in her bedroom - and her hallway, and her kitchen, and her couch. That aching, he could get used to.

This one, nonetheless… was awful.

He had been inside the SUV the next morning, a cloud of smoke surrounding him when she exited her apartment to leave towards the station. Her bright red hair was pulled up in a ponytail, half her face hidden behind a pair of large sunglasses.

"Come on, sweetheart, let me see your face." He muttered to himself as he watched her advance to her beat up car, long fingers drumming on the steering wheel nervously. But she didn't comply. Instead he saw her get in the driver's seat and take a shuddering breath while she checked her phone, apparently not finding in its screen what she hoped for.

Did she wipe her cheeks with her sleeve?

He waited two days before he tried to check on her again. This time at night. He stood among the shadows at the edge of the street, his hearing searching for her heartbeat to know if she was home. The sound let him know she was there indeed, though by the force of it probably not asleep… and quickly knew she wasn't alone.

The cigarette burned his fingers for a few seconds before he reacted and threw it. He couldn't just barge in, could he? Even less after what he told her - after making her cry.

Shit. Shit shit shit.

He stood there for two more hours until he saw Tina leaving Alice's apartment. The sigh he exhaled surprised him in new ways.

It was late at night before her heartbeat let him know she had finally fallen asleep. He had lost the count of the times he had almost crossed the street to bang on her door.

The mood had dropped lower and lower on the Unit as days passed by. He wasn't sure if it was because he was feeling like shit, because he hadn't told them anything about it even when they had asked repeatedly or because - and that's what he feared - they all missed her. She had kept her distance, only updating Adam on work-related stuff and occasionally texting Felix back, but it wasn't enough. They needed her - they, because Mason had to believe it was all of them and not just himself. Her cheery, strong presence, her incessant chatting and her patience…

Mason was starting to understand she was irreplaceable. And no one should be.

That was why they had reluctantly agreed to go to the local bar that night, after Felix pestered them about it for two days. And he didn't know if he wished she was there or the complete opposite.

The vampire was usually ruthless with his words, but always honest. He told the crude, ugly truth, and if someone didn't like it, they could go to hell for all he cared. It didn't matter if he hurt them or angered them. He didn't give a shit.

But the guilt growing and gnawing at his insides for a week told him otherwise this time. Which could mean two things: or he didn't really mean what he said or he just hated to hurt her. In the worst case scenario, both statements were right.

His brain had replayed the moment over and over. The soft smile she was giving him when their lips parted, hers looking plumper after he moved away, thinking he wasn't nearly done with those lips. Her bright eyes seemed to sparkle with the sunlight that filtered through the windows, and for a few seconds, everything was perfect. They were on their own bubble, sharing breaths and body heat, and the sound of her fluttering heartbeat was the only thing he could hear. Her sweet coconut perfume was the only thing he could smell. He could still feel the tingling in his lips because of her own. And the way she looked at him…

She looked at him in a way that made his breath catch and his pulse kick up. The way his heart nearly seemed to burst threatened to consume him, and he had to look away. He had to look away because he didn't know what he would do if he looked at her for a moment longer.

Still reeling, confused and scared and anxious, he tried to figure out what was happening. And it all was too much and he heard what the waitress said and had to draw the line that had become blurred between them. So he said those words. And when her smile faltered, his heart seemed to contract and become smaller, and again he looked away.

He only caught a second of her tear filled eyes, threatening to spill down her cheeks, as Alice got up from her chair, almost knocking it over. He almost expected her to snap at him.

But what she did was so much worse.

Her voice broke and she ran away. He could still hear her heart when he got up to follow her, beating so rapidly it made his own speed up to match it. She took a shuddering breath, so close to a sob he stopped in his tracks.

He was paralyzed, watching her go. Knowing her pain was his fault.

Felix pulled him away from his thoughts when he stepped forwards and opened the door of the small bar, his demeanor joyful and excited. Nate smiled and followed him, Adam joining as if he was trying not to ruin the night for them. Mason took a deep sigh and followed.

Alice knew he was there even before Verda's eyes widened and he elbowed Tina, making her drink dangerously shake in her hand. The redhead took a deep breath. The way the back of her neck heated up and her skin exploded into goosebumps was the telltale sign of his grey eyes on her.

Maybe the worst of it all was that she had no right to be upset. He had been clear even before the first kiss - just sex, no complications. Had she been reading too much into it? In the way he seemed to orbitate towards her whenever they were in the same room? How he seemed to relax and want to actually talk to her? Was all of it her heart guiding her brain and not the other way around?

Alice didn't know how she would react when she saw him again, therefore she had avoided the Unit altogether, but this moment had to come. She was still hurt and trying to figure out her feelings for the infuriating vampire, but still the Unit were her friends. Her family, the closest thing she ever had.

She had to pretend. For herself, for him and for the Unit.

So she turned around with a smile, hopefully convincing enough.

"There she is!" Felix chanted happily before he strode towards Alice through the tables. Her smile seemed to freeze on her face the moment their gazes locked.

Fuck, she looks stunning. Her hair was wavy and bright as the fucking sun and she wore a lipstick to match. His breath caught on his throat the same way it seemed to happen to her. His fingers twitched, as if wanting to reach out for her without his permission. He almost took a step forward, missing her closeness and the peace she brought with her. Her own peace and storm, all mixed up inside him.

Black looks good on this man. The black henley shirt wrapped around all the right places, and when he ran a hand through his long hair she almost passed out with the urge to feel those biceps around her. He was looking at her and there was no hostility in his gaze. A flash of something passed through his eyes, but she was too far to read it. Regret? Longing? Maybe he just felt awkward after her outburst at Haley's Bakery. She wished she could go back in time, before she felt her heart aching at the sight of him. To the last time she had been tangled with him on her bed, feeling his heartbeat against her skin, his breath on her neck just above her scar.

Could she? Could she keep on having sex with him knowing he would never be truly hers? Not all of him? Why did she ever agree? She had known he would consume her. She had known she was doomed. She had known she was going to fall from him since the morning she woke up with his scent on her sheets.

Her attention snapped to the brightest smile she had ever seen and she couldn't help but genuinely grin at Felix. Who would have known a vampire would actually be the personification of a ray of fucking sunshine?

"Allie!" He wrapped her in a bear hug while she was half getting up and raised her the rest of the way, until her feet didn't touch the ground, and the detective squealed in delight as she returned the hug, before laughing.

Had her laugh always been so goddamn beautiful or had Mason just missed it like crazy?

The rest of them sauntered towards the table and Mason didn't miss the glare Tina was throwing his way. Girls talk, man. He ignored her completely, letting himself fall into a chair with Adam taking the seat next to him.

Nate was the next to hug Alice, although softer, and Mason watched as she closed her eyes, as if she had missed them just as much. She spoke over Nate's shoulder. "I'm so glad to see you. I was just going to get another round, this one's on me!"

"Actually, this was enough for me." Verda spoke while getting up, throwing a meaningful gaze to Tina.

"Y-yeah, same. Early morning tomorrow."

"Oh. Okay." Alice said, suddenly a little shy, finally letting go of Nate, who sat at the other side of Mason.

"I'll go with you to get the drinks!" Felix offered enthusiastically, asking all of them what they wanted while Verda and Tina said their goodbyes and left.

Like a magnet, their gazes found each other again. She was trapped in his just as much as he was in hers, but she broke it first, turning her eyes to the ground. She hadn't looked so insecure around them since the day they met. Her shoulders were slumped and she had her own arms around her frame, hugging herself, as if trying to become smaller. He could see the movement of her eyelashes as she blinked rapidly, her heart beating a mile a minute inside her chest, teeth chewing on her red lower lip. She looked shy and fragile, but Mason knew she was the strongest woman he had ever encountered.

Mason made a decision in that exact moment.

He would be the one biting that lip before the night ended. And he would not let so many days go by without touching her ever again.

He didn't even realize the magnitude of his thoughts, too caught up in the moment. He would deal with them later if they resurfaced.

For Alice, it was absurd how difficult it was not to look at him. To pretend the floor of the bar was far more interesting than those deep pools that seemed to see right through her every single time. But then he spoke.

"Sweetheart."

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A/N: Ahhhh!! My first time writing Mason!! I’ve been obsessed with TWC since I read it and after the demo I just couldn’t help myself. Next chapter coming soon!! Let me know what you thought and if you’d like to be added to the taglist.

Taglist: @agentnatesewell

#guuuys i'm excited about this #my first twc fic #she's hurt but still like: damn he's hot #twc #twc m #twc mason #agent mason #mason x detective #mason x mc #mason x alice #detective alice santos #the wayhaven chronicles

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redstarwriting · 4 years

Text

My Light

Stephen Strange x Reader

Request: “Prompt for whenever you want it: the reader is the legal guardian of their sibling's (who died in an accident) toddler and the reader is trying her best at parenting. One day they find out the child has magic abilities, but everything goes tits up because Mordo shows up and tries to take said powers. Cue our favorite sorcerer saving the day. May we have a progression of him and the reader falling for each other? Thanks in advance and feel free to disregard the ask if it is too silly”

Word Count: 1,773

Genre: Fluff | Little Angst

Warnings: swearing, death of a loved one, attempted murder, Mordo in general

A/N: Very sorry for how long this took me to write! Like I said, writer’s block is a bitch. But it’s here now! And the ask was not silly at all! It was very fresh and fun actually. I hope you enjoy it! I write best for Stephen it seems, so hopefully I lived up to your expectations! Also, I made the child gender neutral because why not, you know?

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“Ori. Put. The paintbrush. Down,” you try your best to sound strict, but Ori the two-year-old has other plans. They just painted an entire… emblem, you guess, on the wall of your apartment. Again. You cannot figure out how they keep getting into the locked painting cabinet butt yet here you both are. You just sigh before bending over and picking them up, only to get a paintbrush to the face. “Okay, Ori, now you’ve done it,” you say, a mischievous glint in your eye. Ori looks at you with confusion before you snatch the paintbrush, setting it to the side and gently toss them on your couch and scream, “You’ve unleashed the… Tickle Monster!” You “attack” them, only to be met with happy shrieks and giggles. You’ve discovered this is an easy way to tire them and distract them from what they were just doing. You’re just now getting the hand at this whole… parenting thing. Ori isn’t your biological child, they’re your sister’s. Sadly, she died in a freak accident, leaving little Ori in your care. The worst part is Ori was there when she died. One day when she was cooking, the oven malfunctioned and exploded, catching the entire house on fire. It’s believed that she was killed instantly in the blast, and even though Ori was playing ouutside when it happened, they were still there for the entire incident. Granted, they didn’t understand it, but still. It’s really sad. And you’re trying your hardest to be the absolute best parent for them as you possibly can be.

They just make it so damn hard sometimes.

After your tickle-tack, Ori was worn out. It was about their nap time anyways, so you take them to their “big kid bed” as they just stopped sleeping in a crib, and tuck them in. Of course, you still have a baby monitor in their room to see and hear when they need anything. You go and sit on your couch, reveling in the moment of silence you have while Ori sleeps. Then suddenly, their crying pulls you out of it. You sigh, getting up to go check on them only to realize that when you get to their room, there’s a man in there. And he’s targeting Ori. Oh hell no.

“Who the fuck are you?!” you scream, immediately picking up one of Ori’s wooden blocks and hurling it at the intruder’s head. Good call, (Y/n). That’ll stop him. He doesn’t even catch it, just waves his hand and it deflect back, hitting you directly between the eyes instead. “Ow…” you mumble, rubbing the spot where the block collided with you. “This is none of your concern,” the man says, beginning to move his one hand in a circular motion while holding the other in place in front of him. You hear something behind you and turn around to see an orange glowing circle leading into what looks like the ocean?! What the fuck?! Suddenly, the man runs toward you, and you scream thinking you’re about to get pushed in when suddenly he is literally thrown against the wall beside him.

“Bad,” you hear Ori squeak, and you turn your attention to them only to see their hand out in front of them and… is that magic coming out of their palm? “You made this complicated, young lady,” the man says, standing up again, and you turn your attention to him once more. “W-what-”

“I didn’t want to kill you, but it appears now I must. This child’s real mother interfered when I tried to take their powers the first time. It appears I’ll have to do what I did last time again,” he says, and your blood runs cold. Did this man just admit to murdering your sister? And did he just say he was going to murder you too? You were frozen in place when he started running at you again. This time, though, another portal looking thing appeared and another man stepped into Ori’s room, and the other guy was suddenly frozen mid-run. Max capacity for this room is you and Ori, by the way, so there was a lot going on in a space that did not hold that much. “You gave me quite the chase, Mordo, but it looks like it’s over,” this new guy says, and you break out of your frozen state to run over to Ori and pick them up.

The man named Mordo follows you with his eyes, and you glare at him. The man who saved you walks toward this Mordo character, but before he can do anything, he suddenly breaks out of the trapped state he’s in and starts swinging his staff at him. The guy who saved you and Ori curses under his breath, and suddenly, you’re pushed into a new location with him following. You look around, noticing that you’re somewhere with what looks like a bunch of antiques. “Sorry about that, I figured the best thing to do was flee here instead of completely destroying your place. Besides, I’m not so sure you would be able to handle the mirror realm, so I definitely wasn’t about to take you there. Now, let me explain everything that just happened.”

You blink and the next thing you know, you’re in a chair while Ori is preoccupied with a giant coloring book and multiple crayons. “Your sister’s child possesses a type of raw magical talent, and I’m afraid the man who broke into your home is going around and stealing magic from others who have it. I believe it would be beneficial for you and the child to live here for a period of time until I either apprehend him or Ori is able to defend themselves if needed.” “Uh… wait okay, hold on, what?”

“Well, I was pretty blunt with my explanation but-”

“No, I understood your explanation I’m just a little shocked over the fact that this little thing is magical, that Mordo dick literally murdered my sister, and now you’re telling me it would be beneficial if I moved into this place when I don’t even know who you are or where this place is and I don’t have any of my belongings and-“

“Calm down, (Y/n). I’ve had all your belongings transferred over to here already. My name is Stephen Strange, and I need to teach Ori about their powers before Mordo takes them from them,” Stephen explains, and you just stare at him. “I promise you this is to protect you and Ori. Mordo won’t stop until every sorcerer and sorceress no longer has magic. I can help.”

And that is how you ended up living in the Sanctum Sanctorum with Stephen Strange with Ori. This place was a lot nicer than your tiny two bedroom apartment, and the best part is you didn’t even have to pay rent. Even if you wanted to go to work, Stephen said it would be too much of a risk with the lunatic magic stealer still running around, so you couldn’t even work anymore. You mainly spent your time playing with Ori or walking around, tidying up and reading. Although you weren’t learning magic or anything. No matter how many times Stephen tried to convince you to.

Oh, speaking of Stephen, the two of you really hit it off. So much so that after about three weeks, Ori started calling him “daddy.” Both of you were taken aback by that and frantically tried to explain to them that, no, Stephen was in fact not their dad, but they weren’t having it. Of course, you found the sorcerer very attractive and didn’t necessarily hate the idea of him being Ori’s “dad,” but honestly, he probably didn’t feel the same and it would be so complicated having two magic users in the family are you kidding.

Nonetheless, Stephen did treat Ori like his child as well, which made you two talk even more than usual. After a while, you two knew each other better than anyone else. It started slow, with him just asking how your day was and how Ori liked their new home and such, but eventually faded into him asking how you were, no how you really were don’t give him that fine bullshit, what your favorite foods were, what you thought of his outfit, what you were doing later, all these things.

Of course, this all progressed after a few years. In fact, Ori was now five years old, and you have never met someone who advocated for you to get a significant other more than this kid. You always told them you didn’t have time, and that you would find one when you wanted to. Ori would then bring up the time that Stephen gave you the biggest room in the Sanctum when you got there, and the time that Stephen got you your favorite food because you had a bad day, and that time that Stephen took you out on the anniversary of your sister’s death to distract you from missing her and how he did that literally every year and, yeah. You get the point. Ori wanted you and Stephen to get together. And the damn kid was too smart and remembered literally everything at age 5 maybe you should just stop telling them stuff.

Then one day, Stephen approached you while Ori was busy practicing magic. “May I sit?” he asks, and you grin up at him, nodding. He sits next to you and clears his throat. “Ori has gotten very good, you know,” he says, and you nod. “Yeah. Their magic is really strong. And pretty. Prettier than yours, anyway,” you tease him, and he grins. “Well, that’s what happens when your magic is light based. It’s always a sight to behold.” “Light based?”

“Yes, their magic is unique, and they certainly have a flair for making someone’s day brighter,” he says, and you laugh. “Yeah. Well, I guess their name fits them.”

“Oh?” “Don’t tell me Mr. Sorcerer Supreme I-Am-An-Actual-Doctor-You-Know doesn’t know what Ori means.”

“Looks like I’m stumped.” “Wow. Okay, well Ori quite literally means ‘my light’ in Hebrew. I guess my sister named them well,” you explain, and Stephen nods. “Well, they certainly brought light to my life,” he says, and you grin. “Good, I’m glad. They brought light to mine as well,” you say, staring at them as they practice. You don’t even notice Stephen looking at you until he speaks, “The light they brought me was you, by the way.”

Needless to say, Ori got their wish of you and Stephen getting together.

#avengers x reader #doctor strange x reader #stephen strange x reader #dr strange x reader #marvel x reader #avengers imagine #doctor strange imagine #stephen strange imagine #dr strange imagine #marvel imagine #avengers #doctor strange #stephen strange #dr strange #marvel

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psychedellic-phase · 4 years

Text

Fifteen (Part 12)

A/N: I altered the timeline & updated the last chapter w the correct weeks!! sorry for any confusion that causes. I need to be accurate or it’d bother me lol

ALSO: end the stigma surrounding miscarriage/infertility. your feelings and experiences are valid.

Tw: miscarriage, cursing, slight spoilers for the episode “200”

word count: 4.4 k

masterlist

series masterlist

“It was a Thursday, no I guess technically it was a Friday since it was 3 am. You woke me up, poking my shoulder gently until I stirred.

“This is going to sound weird but did you...?”

I was groggy and sore and cranky. It was 3 am, and you woke me up. Of course I was annoyed. My back was killing me, “Spence, what?”

“Did you pee yourself?” You whispered, and I laughed.

“What? No?”

That’s when I shifted to roll over and face you. That’s when I felt it. It was like a freight train hitting me. I was dizzy and nauseous and could suddenly feel every part of my body aching.

“Then, t-then what’s this?”

You threw the covers off of us. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you so scared.

I just stared at it. Our gray sheets darkened. I had no emotions. No instincts. No movement. You’d think I’d have an intuition of what I needed to do. My maternal instinct would’ve kicked in, or I guess it wouldn’t have because I was no longer a mother.

I don’t know how I didn’t wake up earlier. I keep wracking my brain for a reason why I didn’t wake up. Why did you have to wake me up? Why didn’t I just know? I should’ve just known. I should’ve had a feeling, but I didn’t have any feelings. Because that’s what shock is. It’s nothing. It’s staring at everything and feeling absolute nothingness.

It’s weird to think that that night we went to bed, laughing and chatting and snuggling close to each other. It’s weird to think that we had no idea what was coming. We were living in ignorant bliss. It’s sad that that was our last night we spent together as a whole family unit. I wish I knew about lasts before they happened, that way I could savor the moment. Soak it all up. Bask in the warmth of you.

We fell asleep as we usually do did, you spooning me from behind, one hand on my belly the other on my back. You whispering that you loved me, you hoped I slept well; me telling you that the papaya sized thing in my uterus would make sure that I did not sleep well. You’d laugh, your breath would tickle my neck, then I’d laugh, and we’d finally calm down and fall asleep in each other’s arms.

That’s the last time we fell asleep like that. I wish I knew. I would have appreciated the little things. I would’ve appreciated the way you rubbed little shapes on my skin, the way you dealt with me needing no comforter because I was always hot and sweaty, even though you run cold. I wish I could go back and appreciate every one of our lasts, just so I could hold onto those memories a little while longer. But I guess I’ve held onto them long enough if I’m giving them all back to you.

Speaking of, what is your item for this letter? Go ahead. Go look. It isn’t going to be what you expect.”

He was much calmer than he was before. The numbness had returned. He felt kind of okay actually. He felt like that was the last bit of emotion he had left. But then again, he felt that way in letter four. He felt that way in letter seven. He knew it wouldn’t last, but he was determined to savor it, grind through the last few letters while he was still numb, then hopefully decide what to do while his head was clear.

He reached in, surprised at what you had chosen.

“Yes, this is definitely not what you expected. I’m sure you expected another baby memento, or maybe an ultrasound picture. But like I said, all the baby stuff is gone. And I’m keeping the ultrasounds. I’ll mail you copies, I promise. And unlike you, I don’t make a habit of breaking my promises.

Now to anyone who doesn’t know PG, this little stuffed unicorn looks like it was for the baby. But when you know her as well as we do, you know it was for me. Penelope decorates her desk with trinkets and light-up frogs and flower pens because they help her see the bad. They make it easier. By giving me this, she was giving me something to protect me from the horror I would have to face. And for a little while, it actually worked. I hope it’ll do the same for you.”

He laughed, an honest, genuine, laugh. He held the stuffed thing in his hands, leaning back onto the bed. It was white with rainbow hair and a glittery purple horn. He remembered when Penelope brought it in the room, delicately placing it on your bedside table.

“She’ll need this, and so will you,” She said. Spencer just nodded and watched her disappear.

“I will spare you the grisly details, Spence; you were there. I will just mention the main ideas.

As I sat there, staring at the mess that had formed in front of me, you got up. You were visibly shaking as you turned on the lights and called an ambulance. Your face was gray. I’ve never seen it that color. I couldn’t focus on anything except you and the pain. God, the pain. It radiated from my abdomen, up into my heart and festered there. It was a different kind of pain, unlike any I’d ever experienced before. Then came the adrenaline, pumping through my body at an insane rate. Then I felt foggy, like I was watching what was happening to me on a tv screen. It was the closest thing to an out-of-body experience I’ve ever had.

You knelt down next to me, holding my torso. We didn’t speak. We didn’t cry. We were both in shock.

I don’t even know what you said to the people on the phone. I assume you told them what you had already diagnosed. You told them the truth: I was miscarrying.

It still hurts to say. I still have a hard time saying the word out loud. “Pregnancy loss,” “Spontaneous abortion,” “Miscarriage,” none of the words feel right. None of them feel like they accurately describe what happened to us that night.

They put me on a stretcher, and that’s when it became real. I was crying, holding your hand so tight I thought I’d cut off blood supply. My other hand was on my torso, and I was begging whatever Gods are above to feel a kick. Just one little kick, or shift, or movement.

I didn’t.

You stayed strong for me. You always were so good under pressure. You told the EMT every detail of my health history, while I was a blubbering mess. You called Hotch. You called Emily. You called my dad. You kept it together. You did everything right. God, Spencer, even from that very first day when I paid you to do my paperwork, you always did everything right. You’re the good one. You put nothing but good karma out into the world, so why do you keep getting bad karma back?

It’s ridiculous really, because we did do everything right. I took my prenatals and only drank water and green smoothies and I ate sweet potatoes and legumes and kale chips. I resisted the urge to eat nothing but Baja Blasts and Big Macs. I’m honestly angry. I’m angry because you and I, two good people, don’t get to have a baby, but some of these unsubs we encountered do? What kind of logic is that? What kind of world allows that to happen? What kind of God? A really shitty one, that’s who.

Eventually they literally peeled you off of me in the ER. They had to make sure I wasn’t getting an infection, and that I had—God I can’t say it. They had to see if they needed to help me through it, if you know what I mean. They did. I had to get a d&c.

I spent most of the time sobbing at the nurses. They all just held my hands and smoothed my hair. I begged for you, but they said no. I argued with them. I said I needed you there next to me. I didn’t want them to hold my hands and smooth my hair, I wanted you. But they insisted that the room had to stay clean. Eventually I was all cried out and they put me under.

When I woke up this unicorn was next to me, staring me in the face and letting me know our friends were there. They knew. They had my back. This stuffed thing would help me face the bad that was coming. It would protect me.

It was about eight. You pulled your chair up next to me, your hand in mine, head on my bed. I felt like shit. That’s the only way to put it. Anesthesia makes me nauseous as is, couple that with the night I had? I felt awful, and I felt it everywhere.

When I woke up, you stirred too. Your eye bags were deep and dark, you still had on pajamas with some unknown fluids on them, and your hair was a wreck.

I ran my hands through it, a force of habit, “Hi.”

“Hey,” you croaked.

Our eyes met, and we both just fell apart. Tears spilled over so easily. We were two broken hearts in one hospital room.

You crawled into the bed with me, making sure to be gentle and not hurt me, “Is this real life?”

“Yeah, Love. I’m afraid it is,” you whispered into my hair.

“I-It doesn’t feel like real life.”

You sighed, and shifted so we were both sitting upright, your arm around my shoulder, “I know. I wish it wasn’t.”

“W-What happened? What did I do? I th-thought I did everything right?”

You kissed my tears on my cheeks, “You did. You couldn’t have done anything to stop this. It was a chromosomal abnormality, trisomy sixteen.”

“What does that m-mean?”

“It means she had three copies of chromosome sixteen, which makes proteins in the body. She never would’ve—“

“Stop,” I said, not harshly or mean, just a sad moan, “I don’t want to know.” I took three shaky, deep breaths, trying to calm myself down, “I-I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be, there’s nothing we could’ve done. We’ll get through this, together, I promise.”

“I promise,” I said, and you kissed my temple, arms wrapped around me tightly, as if you could physically hold me together as I fell apart. You held me like that for a while, before we both fell asleep again in that teeny tiny hospital bed.

The unicorn wasn’t the one who protected me that night, it was you. You protected me more than I ever gave you credit for. I wish I could’ve stayed strong for you, the way you stayed strong for me. Thank you for that, Spencer. I mean it.”

Spencer got up from bed and felt lightheaded. Realizing he hadn’t eaten yet, he grabbed a mess of junk from the fridge and sat on the kitchen floor up against the dishwasher. The metal of the appliance was cold against his back, the ground below him was hard. It just felt right.

He did keep his calm the whole time. He never cracked, not until the end when he cried with you. He spoke calmly and quietly when the team showed up. Garcia cried more than he did. Emily said she was on the next flight, ready and willing. Your dad didn’t say more than a few awkward and sad words. Morgan looked terrified. Hotch had his eyebrows knit together, as if with enough thinking, he could make the situation away. JJ stood silently, knowing the feeling, but not mentioning it. The only time he wavered was when Alex held him; the tears reached the surface but never spilled over. Everyone just circled around him, trying to protect him from the scariness that he’d face outside of their bubble.

The nurse came up to him, telling him you were out and okay. It was a chromosomal abnormality, nothing could’ve prevented it. With some rest, you’d be okay physically, but mentally it would be a long road, for both of you. He nodded. The world felt like it was spinning. He couldn’t think straight. The walls seemed to move in around him, even as he stood still.

“Reid, it’s mandatory. Four weeks. Minimum,” Hotch said, Spencer not hearing a word of it.

“O-Okay. Fine, whatever. I just, I need to see her.”

Derek reached out to stop him, “You know she isn’t going to be the same, kid.”

Spencer shook him off, “I know.”

But he didn’t know to what extent. He didn’t know that you’d still look pregnant, because your belly doesn’t automatically deflate. He didn’t know that your grieving process would be different from the way it was after Emily’s fake death. How naive of him to not realize that he’d grieve differently this time too. He thought he’d want to cry and talk and eat blueberry pancakes, just like last time. He didn’t realize that when a piece of you just suddenly stops being a piece of you, it’s jarring. It's the five stages of grief all at once and in the wrong order. It’s crying at a Pampers commercial and being angry when you see new moms. It’s people giving you soft looks of pity everyday. It’s lonely. It’s sad. It’s the worst heartbreak one can imagine. In short—it really fucking sucks.

Spencer had no idea just how much it really fucking sucked.

He saw you there, your skin drained of its warm color and tired, and stopped in his tracks. What would he say? What would he do? How would he approach you? How would he tell you that half of his heart just left his body?

Rossi was the one who saw him stop at the threshold of your door. He saw Spencer pace back and forth, still in bloody pajamas. He saw Spencer stare at you, hands balled into fists like he was ready to fight the powers that be.

He came up behind him, placing a kind hand on his shoulder, “Spencer, listen to me.”

Spencer didn’t react, he just kept staring at you, “I had a son, with Caroline. He died the same day he was born. I know what this feels like, Kid. I do. Trust me, it’ll get easier. I promise, but only if the two of you lean on each other.”

Spencer nodded dumbly, still not really processing anything around him, but with a nudge from Rossi he entered your room. He found his way to the bedside chair.

“Hey, Y/N, I know you can’t hear me. The anesthesia hasn’t worn off yet. I just want to—no need to tell you that I love you. I’m not mad at you. I’m heartbroken, but here for you. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Remember how fast that narrative changed, Spence?

We got home from the hospital that night and I grabbed a tub of ice cream. I figured losing the baby counted as ‘one of those days’. I thought we would eat in silence and it would make it all okay, like every other day.

When I pulled it out, you scratched your head, “Not tonight. I’m tired.”

I nodded, feeling heavy and sore and weak, “Okay, see you upstairs?”

You nodded again, and I put the tub away. I figured you were going to talk to the moon for a while, and I was going to let you.

I fell asleep almost immediately, you never joining me.

I got up and you were on the couch, making some lame excuse of how you were reading and must have fallen asleep there by accident.

“You okay today?” I asked you.

You shrugged, “We won’t be okay for a lot of days.”

I knew you were right. It was a stupid question to even ask. I nodded.

“How do you feel?”

“Sore, weak, empty. Like I need to sleep more.”

You tucked my hair behind my ear, and kissed my cheek.

“I love you,” I said, and you responded with, “Love you too, I need to shower.”

Now there is a distinct difference between ‘love you’ and ‘I love you.’ Losing the ‘I’ loses the intimacy. It removes yourself from the statement. You removed yourself from that statement, and from me.

That first day we talked a little. We mostly cried and you watched me sleep. But then suddenly it was like you didn’t want to talk about it. You didn’t want to share a bed. You didn’t even want to look at me. You didn’t want to be in that place. I don’t blame you, Spencer, I don’t. I didn’t want to be there either.

I understand why you blamed me. We needed to blame someone, because no way could life be that cruel to a person. I blamed myself for the loss for a while too. No matter how many times people said “it’s not your fault” it still felt like my fault. I still feel like it’s my fault, like maybe I could’ve done something to prevent this. It doesn’t matter how many support groups or therapists tell me I can’t blame anyone. How can I believe that when the person who means the most to me in this world feels like it I’m the only person to blame?”

He sighed. He never wanted to blame you, but some part of him did anyway. It was easier that way. If he blamed you, he wouldn’t have to blame himself like he always did. But, sometimes there is no one to blame but life itself.

“Emily showed up that next day. She came in, in all her black bangs glory and held me. She had ice cream with me. She let me cry on her shoulders until I couldn’t anymore. She watched cheesy tv with me and distracted me with stories of her varied lovers in London. She supported me the way only a best friend could, the way I wish you did. Then she had to leave; London calls. And Derek took her place. He would come by when he could, usually with takeout that I couldn’t stomach. If he couldn’t come by, he’d always text or call. He always checked in, which I appreciated, but every moment with them was a moment spent wishing I was with you.

You. For the first week or so, I saw you everyday. We even went to the beach, but when we came home? I tried to talk but we usually didn’t. More accurately, I spoke, and you stared at me. Then you started coming less and less and returning fewer and fewer of my calls. At the end, I think I saw you maybe once every other day, just for you to come and grab clean clothes or paperwork. God, everyone did your job except for you because you were too busy doing your real job. The job Hotch told you to take a few weeks off from. The job that I actually did take a few weeks off from, because my body was in disrepair.

It’s not fair to sit here and tell you that you didn’t cater to my every grieving need correctly. It’s not fair for me to tell you how to grieve either. I respect what you did, Spence. I respect that you poured yourself into work. I know it isn’t fair that I wish you spent half that energy on us. But you know what actually isn’t fair? The way I’d tell people “we lost her,” but you’d say “Y/N lost her.” You know what wasn’t fair? The fact that you ran away from me and hid away in your apartment, doing God knows what with God knows who, after we promised to lean on each other, to heal together. You refused to do it. I wanted to. I tried to. I reached out. I called. I texted.

But, I’m getting ahead of myself now. You still have three letters to go.”

Spencer glanced over at the box. It was nearly empty, just three stray items and three stray envelopes staring at him. He remembered the minute he set foot in that place, he felt the same way he did before he entered your hospital room. Frozen. Fear. Trepidation.

Everything looked foreign. The walls that were once a saturated blue color looked grayer. The mug on the counter didn’t look like it was his. The pictures on the walls were of foreign people from a foreign land. The bed didn’t look like his bed. He felt like he was living on a movie set, where everything was a prop and everyone was a fake.

He tried to stay. He went into that first night with the intentions of laying next to you in bed, watching tv, rubbing your back, and giving you water to make up for the amount of tears you shed. He really, honestly, tried, but the first thing he saw when he opened the front door was that picture of the two of you from Rossi’s house, holding up the onesie. Then he made his way into the kitchen, where the ultrasounds were pinned to the fridge with smiley face magnets. Then he went upstairs and passed the nursery.

It had barely been started; all you’d done was paint it a soft, sage green.

“This color is called ‘Soothing Sage’,” You said, handing Spencer a roller, “I sure hope this soothes her, because if she’s as active outside as she is inside, we have a problem.”

“It will soothe her. That’s why I love green,” He said, grabbing the roller and starting to paint, as you sat on the floor trying to untangle Garcia’s homemade jungle animal mobile.

“I thought you liked purple.”

He smiled, “ I do, but green brings balance and harmony. From a color psychology perspective, it is the great balancer of the heart and the emotions, creating equilibrium in the body. And from a color symbolism perspective, green is the color of growth, spring, renewal and rebirth.”

You laughed, “My favorite color is teal. What’s the color psychology for that?”

“Teal is a blend of blue and green, so naturally it combines both blue's tranquility and stability with green's balance and harmony.”

“I like it, I like it, how about orange? What does that mean?”

“Orange? Well, it’s bright and brings feelings of excitement, enthusiasm, and warmth—“ He cut himself off, turning from his almost done wall to find you eating more chips, “Stop distracting me!”

You put your hands up in surrender, “You’re too easy to distract Reid.”

He smiled, paint already all over him, as you spent the rest of the afternoon talking about what rocker you should buy and where the other painting Garcia made should hang.

When he passed the room, the walls a pretty green, mobile in the corner over a few stray Ikea boxes, he couldn’t do it anymore. He couldn’t act like everything in that place didn’t make him want to scream into an abyss. He couldn’t play the dutiful boyfriend. He couldn’t walk around and not feel haunted. He was being haunted, not by the past, but by a future that should’ve been.

He tried to explain it to you, but you two were on different pages. Hell, you were reading two different books that were in completely different languages. Communicating became impossible, and if he’s being honest with himself, he was kind of happy that it did. It made it easier in the moment, but worse in the long run.

“I miss us. I miss you. I miss her. I know we never met her but I could feel her. She was strong, definitely a soccer player. Maybe she would’ve had our recessive athletic genes. She was part of me, and I loved her from the first time I threw up. I could tell she loved you. She moved whenever you spoke to me. She loved to rustle and shift when you laid on my lap and whispered to her. She was a daddy’s girl. That’s what you deserved. I’m sorry my body couldn’t handle it. I’m sorry that I couldn’t even do that right. I’m sorry couldn’t be what you wanted or what you needed, especially when you were all I ever wanted or needed. I don’t know how many more ways to show you that I’m sorry.

You left me the day we lost her Spence, I know you did. I lost you and her in one fell swoop. How do I cope with that?”

Spencer put the letter down, cradling the unicorn in his hands. He didn’t need you to apologize anymore. You’d done enough of that, so did he. He stopped being angry and bitter and spiteful the second you told him to go. You yelled at him to finish packing his bags and get out, since that’s clearly what he wanted.

That wasn’t what he wanted. He was just lost. He was confused. He felt like nothing had a purpose anymore. He understood what Gideon said in the letter he left him all those years ago. He questioned everything he thought he ever knew. He wanted to view it as a lesson, something he could learn from, but the hole in his heart wouldn’t let him.

He had every intention of coming back to you when he was ready, but when he finally was, you shut the door. He lost himself the moment he lost her, and that made him lose you too. How’s he supposed to cope with that?

Part 13!

---------

Taglist: @l0ve-0f-my-life @aperrywilliams @helloniallslovelies @random-ravings @ajwantsapancake @andiebeaword @boiled-onionrings @frnks-stuff @icantevenanymore1 @mellifluouswildbluebells @rottenearly @sammypotato67 @blushingwueen @peaxhyjaes @justanotherfangurlz @juniorgman187 @mbowles23-blog @blameitonthenight21 @goldentournesol @rainsong01 @thelifeofadumbbitch @swimmingfishwobblersludge @youre-a-wallflower-charlie

#spencer reid #spencer x you #spencer #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fic #dr spencer reid #reid #reid x you #cm #cm fic #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #matthew gray gubler #mgg fanfiction #mgg smut #mgg

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hopelessromanticvirgo · 4 years

Text

Number 134 [29]

Chapter 28

“He stood you up?”

“Yes. And nobody stands me up, ever.”

“Did you talk to him after that?”

“No. He texted some fake ass apology and I had to just roll my eyes. Ugh, men.”

“Agreed.”

Both of them looked at each other and bursted into laughter.

Being with her was a blessing for Sander. Noor always knew what to say and do to make his mood and day better and he couldn’t thank her enough.

He hasn’t been feeling well for the past few days and when she suggested going out, he happily accepted, even if he didn’t feel like having any kind of fun, he knew he had to, or he’d lose him mind on his own.

Robbe has been asking him to keep him company and no matter how much Sander wanted to spend every second of his day with him, Robbe had to study and Sander would never forgive his self for making him distracted, his exams was too close and Sander was trying to control his self and not see him every day.

It was too hard, specially now that he only craved his presence, and that’s exactly why he couldn’t stay at home tonight.

He also had to get ready for his exams but he couldn’t concentrate on anything.

He’s anxious and the fact that he hasn’t been taking his medication was making the situation ten times worse, even if he didn’t want to admit it.

His parents keep checking how he’s doing but he hasn’t been answering any of their calls, for no particular reason, he just didn’t feel like talking to them, listening to their new lectures about how he wasn’t taking care of his self.

He’s acting like a child and he knows that and he also knows that they are right, and he hates it.

He doesn’t know what he’s doing, why he stopped. Maybe he’s trying to test his self, if he can be stable without his meds, if he can be happy without taking them, it hasn’t been working out the way he wanted it to work.

And he changed topic every time Robbe mentioned if he bought them, and one time he noticed and Sander had to lie to his face, it was days ago but he still can’t get it out of his mind, he hates lying, and he tried to admit it to him a few times but couldn’t chose the right words.

It wasn’t late yet but it was starting to get dark. He hasn’t talked to Robbe all day long, didn’t know what he was doing, he sometimes still feels like he’s bothering him, Robbe tries to tell him the opposite but it rarely works.

He’s glad he’s out and not stuck at home now, alone with his thoughts even if they still visit him while he’s with Noor, but he pushes them away, focuses on what she’s been telling him.

Noor doesn’t know about them, how Robbe and he already knew each other and how they are pretty much still in contact.

And she’s telling him about how her date stood her up a few days ago, and Sander couldn’t believe his ears.

“Fuck him. He doesn’t know what he lost.”

The atmosphere around them was chill and nice. Noor smiled at him and both of them were quiet.

“Oh, you know what I heard?” She asked after a while and Sander was ready for the tea, he put his chin on his hands and looked right in her eyes.

“No, what?”

“You remember Robbe?” Her question threw him off guard and he had to take a moment before he was ready to hum for an answer.

“And you remember how he was in a relationship?” He had no idea where she was going with this, he got anxious.

“Was?” Sander had to act dumb, like he didn’t know anything and there is nothing more he hates than pretending.

“Yeah, they broke up.” Noor didn’t notice anything weird and still continued talking.

“Oh, they did?”

“Yep. When I was waiting for that jerk, he was here too.”

“Robbe?” He hasn’t heard anything from Robbe about this.

“No, no. Sebastian, his ex.”

“What did he want?” He couldn’t control his anger, Noor didn’t know about all this but Sebastian did and he also knew Noor was close with Sander. He felt a weird sensation going through his body.

“He came up to me, and started talking. We usually never really talked before but because I didn’t have anything better to do, and it was same for him too probably, he sat down with me and we talked for hours, and I was surprised about the things I heard.”

Sebastian talking to Noor, was a very weird thing and he didn’t want to know the rest of the story but, of course, the curiosity got the best of him and he asked what happened next, and Noor was more than happy to answer his question.

“Apparently, they broke up because Robbe has been cheating? Or at least that’s what he said, I haven’t talked to Robbe about this obviously so I wouldn’t know for sure.”

“He said that he has been cheating?” Sander asked, now more interested in whatever he told her.

“Yep. I mean, honestly, I wouldn’t be that surprised about that since you know how our relationship ended but I was shocked to find out with who.” She said, completely unaware that Sander was more interested in this than than it was necessary.

“With who?” He asked, scared that Noor knew everything and was just testing him, trying to see how long Sander was going to act like nothing was happening.

“With - “ she started but stopped talking and scrunched her face a little bit in concentration, trying to remember something. “Have I ever told you what Robbe does for a living?” Sander shook his head.

After he and Robbe got closer, he told him about his job and how his mentor wanted to find a new client to talk to for him and Sander even joked about it, “don’t fall in love with them too” which made Robbe laugh and promise that he wouldn’t.

He didn’t know a lot about what he was doing since Robbe always tried to change the topic but he knew everything about his studying.

“He’s working in a company, you know online help centers? I actually wanted to suggest them to you but I was afraid you’d laugh or get upset about is so I didn’t say anything. Anyways, he, like, talks to people, he wants to become a psychologist or therapist, I’m not sure.”

“That sounds interesting.” Sander interrupted her, trying to make it seem like he was hearing this for the first time ever.

“Yeah, it is. He talked to me about it when he started. Basically, they give him a person to work on, and he was telling me how it was so hard since he has to learn everything about them and - “

“Wait, what?”

Noor looked at him confusingly but didn’t make a comment about Sander’s voice’s tone.

“Yeah, they gave him the file he has to read about that person he wants to work with and then he has to introduce his self like he doesn’t know them already? And his mentor was being such a bitch, so Robbe had to learn every detail that they write down in the file and then compare how much the person will open up? Like I know his first client was somebody who tried a suicide and Robbe had to see how long it would take him to get the person to open up about it. He’d have to be careful and ask them questions and make reports about how long it will take the person to trust him and stuff. It must be so tiring you know? Can you imagine? And then after each week he had to write reports and essays about what the person told him to his boss. And Sebastian told me that he completely ignored the company rules, fooled the boy he was helping and talking to and cheated on Sebastian with him? How crazy is that?”

Sander’s mind completely shut down after hearing this, he couldn’t process what she was telling him, his mind going spiral, he doesn’t know how he managed to ask a question after that.

“H-he basically lies to them?”

“Yep, that’s how it is in the end. I don’t know a lot of stuff about it, I just know what Sebastian told me about the situation, but I’d say he knows a lot since he also read the file and - “

“W-w-what?”

“Yeah, Robbe read it to him when he first started working with this person.”

Sander doesn’t know what to feel or say, his body completely went numb and froze.

“N-Noor? I got to go.” He said abruptly and got up on his feet, using his shaky legs.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” She asked, standing up with him, concerning look on her face.

Sander started shaking his head, his vision getting blurry, his thoughts trying to come to the surface.

“N-nothing, I just remembered I have to be somewhere, I - “ he looked behind him, searching for an exit. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah yeah.” He gulped, took his jacket and his phone in his hand.

“Okay, I will see tomorrow?” She asked hopefully, quite upset that their night suddenly ended.

“You won’t see me tomorrow.” He said and started walking away from her, didn’t hear how she asked a quiet “what? Why?” Just walked away, opened the door and went out in the street, seeing how it was already quite late because of how dark the sky got.

He started walking, where he didn’t even know, just walked ahead.

His demons on each side of his body, walking with him to nowhere, telling him and feeding him horrible things.

He lied to you from the start.

He shared your whole secrets with everybody else.

He was trying to make you open up.

He was comparing the information you’d give to him to the file he read about you.

He was sending reports, treating you like a rat for an experiment.

He still lies to you now too.

He doesn’t care about you.

He just uses you so he won’t feel lonely.

He doesn’t love you.

He’s still leading you on.

You two will never happen.

He will leave you alone when he’ll get bored of you.

He expects you to lose control.

He’s observing how you’re acting and what you’re saying.

He’s waiting for you to slip up and hurt yourself so he’ll be free from you.

He doesn’t give a shit about your trust.

He broke his promise.

Sander didn’t even feel that, the tears started running down on his cheeks, too lost in his own little painful world.

Then he felt his phone vibrate and took it out of the pocket to see.

21:36 Robbe

I just finished studying.

Where are you? I missed you

He stared at his screen, all alone on the whole road. Tried to control his breathing but failed miserably and yelled out a piercing scream, thew it on the ground and fell down.

The wind was touching his skin lightly, and he was lonely.

Oh so lonely.

The street was silent but his mind was not, all the thoughts were attacking at each other, making it hard for him to breath, his hands pulling on his hair wasn’t helping at all.

His hands shaking, didn’t know what to hold.

The stars were shining down on him sinfully, asking each other what happened to the poor boy.

But the worst thing that happened this day was him, realizing that he didn’t have any pen in his pocket like he usually did.

When he got up on his feet, you could see that he was on a mission.

Going where, he had no idea, but unfortunately, his demons knew.

Chapter 30

#wtfock #wtfam #sobbe #robbe ijzermans #sander driesen #robbe x sander #social media au #number 134

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drreporting · 4 years

Text

Infections of A Different Kind of Human

3. ALL IS SOFT INSIDE

“And how long has she been like this?”

“Going on 18 hours now,” Owen explained. Ryan looked at Amelia, unconscious and tubed, with a variety of wires and lines running to her. He sighed, running his fingers through his hair, which he’d recently cut pretty short, so it didn’t do much to quell his anxiety. He couldn’t understand why Amelia had left his name on her medical forms.

“Do you have any idea why she would’ve still had you as her proxy?” Owen inquired, twiddling with the hospital band around his wrist. “I thought she would’ve updated it or something, especially after James…”

“If I remember Amelia correctly, she gambles,” Ryan accurately described, “Perhaps she gambled on your marriage working out.” How could she be so reckless? “I have no problem transferring the proxy to you, if that’s what you want,” he appreciatively offered, adding a joke after, “From one divorcee to the other.” He couldn’t take on the pressure of making life or death choices for her, and Owen would likely know all the medical jargon better than he would’ve, so it made sense to transfer it to him.

“I’m not entirely sure if I should take it,” Owen sombrely replied. When Ryan looked at him with a confused expression, he said, “We weren’t exactly in a good place when…”

“So?”

“I literally caught her cheating on me, I don’t think she’d want me making medical decisions on her behalf,” Owen put it bluntly.

“That’s pretty harsh, don’t you think?” Ryan queried, folding his arms, “Isn’t this supposed to be the love of your life, or something?”

“Yeah, but I am clearly not the love of her life anymore, so I don’t think I should be making those decisions,” Owen clarified, sternly. They were not on the best of terms when the accident had occurred and adding the consent of her medical health to that would only make things worse if she eventually woke up. “Give it to Derek, or Meredith. I think that’s best.”

“I think I’ll keep it, actually,” Ryan pondered, eyeing the trauma surgeon as he unfolded his arms, “She can decide what she wants, once she’s awake.”

Owen sighed, submitting. “Sure, why not.”

“How are the kids?” he asked, changing the subject, “How’s R junior doing?”

“He is pretty shaken up,” the red head confessed, “Rosie is…I don’t know. And the twins are pretty young, sounds think they’re coping alright. They don’t like sudden, loud noises much anymore.”

“Yeah, I could imagine,” Ryan sympathized. He walked over to Owen and patted him on his good shoulder before saying, “I’m gonna go talk to him before I leave, if that’s okay.” Without looking at him, Owen nodded, keeping his eyes on Amelia’s small frame, willing her to wake up.

The next day made it two days since Amelia had been shot, and a little over 36 hours since her surgery had been done. As per usual, there was an entourage in Amelia’s room, consisting of Derek, Meredith, Maggie, Ryan, Owen, and more recently, Tom. He’d offered to stay for the while to maintain her condition, and then hopefully query about the patient Amelia had been speaking of to him, the entire reason for his visit. They lazed about the room for most of the day, offering support to each other, and to Owen, as they patiently awaited Amelia’s outcome.

---

Sometime in the evening, they’d all received overhead pages from a nurse, all calling them to Amelia’s room.

“Tom?” Owen rasped as he all but slid into the patient room, Ryan following closely behind, “What’s going on?”

“She’s waking up,” Tom voiced calmly. He’d already called the nurse and began adjusting her pumps for the medications she was being administered when he began hearing a soft cough coming from her.

“Yes, she’s definitely waking up…”

“Well, is she going to open her eyes?”

“If you’re patient enough, Dr. Hunt…”

Amelia opened her eyes to a crowd of people standing over her. She only recognised two of them in the room and they looked…odd?

“Amelia, can you hear us?” Tom asked, shining his penlight in her eyes. Why wouldn’t she be able to hear them? What was Tom doing here?

“Can you try talking?” he asked further, offering her a cup of water with a straw in it. Amelia took the cup and had a small sip, clearing her throat as she figured out what she wanted to say first.

“Where…where am I?” she whispered hoarsely.

“You’re at Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital, in Seattle,” the Hopkins neurosurgeon expertly answered, a look of concern crossing his face for a flash of a second, “Do you remember any of what happened two days ago?” Two days ago? Amelia shook her head. She looked over at Derek, then at a blonde standing next to him, holding his hand. She figured that was probably the Meredith that Addison had been speaking about. Next to her stood another blonde, more strawberry in colour. His face reeked with fear and stress, and Amelia wondered what would’ve caused him to look so horrified.

“You were in an accident a couple days ago,” Tom explained, “You were wounded, but everything’s okay now; surgery was successful.” She nodded, showing that she understood what he was saying. Looking around the room once more, she observed the faces of the people at her bedside.

“What’s the last thing you remember, Amy?” Derek offered softly, trying to coax her back from wherever in her mind she was right now.

Amelia blankly looked at him before looking away and shrugging. “I wasn’t in Seattle.”

“Do you remember me?” Ryan piped up, garnering the attention of everyone in the room for a moment. She looked at him, at his jet-black hair and icy blue eyes, his loosely fitted plaid shirt and washed-out jeans, and his soft, welcoming smile.

Shaking her head, Amelia responded, “No, but you’re very cute otherwise.” Ryan quirked an eyebrow at her, not expecting a flirtatious reply, while Owen scoffed and averted his eyes as he rolled them.

“Amelia, we met over ten years ago,” Ryan vaguely replied, trying to help her remember, “In LA?”

Amelia raised her eyebrows in shock as though she remembered something, taking another sip of her water. Ryan looked hopefully at her as she continued, “I was in LA.”

He sighed, combing his fingers through his hair. “So, then you don’t remember me…” Amelia furrowed her eyebrows, slightly annoyed that he was asking her the same question again. Why did he want her to remember something about him? “We met at a party?” Ryan explained to her.

“I’ve met a lot of men at parties,” she bluntly replied, “Excuse me if I don’t remember you exactly.”

Owen’s eyes widened. “Wait what-,”

“Okay, let’s give our patient some time to gather her thoughts; she’s only just woken up,” Tom voiced, trying to temporarily brush everything under the rug, “In the meantime, I’m going to need to see her most recent CT scans, and perhaps we can get some new ones?”

“They’re all on the tablet,” Derek explained, pointing at the device that was in Tom’s hand.

“No they’re not,” he replied, “I imagine I’d have to access them physically in your dinosaur hospital?”

“They’re supposed to be available on the iPad.” Derek took the device from him and began scanning through his sister’s patient chart, only to find out that Tom was right. There was no file, nor record, of any brain scans done on her.

With smoke metaphorically piping through his ears, Derek stepped outside and went straight to the front desk, seeing Isaac there. His eye was still shining purple from Owen’s elbow to his face, and he had to admit that he was kind of glad now that Owen had done it. While Tom was still making his way over, the Shepherd asked, “Where are Amelia’s CT scans?”

Isaac looked up at him and furrowed his eyebrows. “I don’t know, they’re supposed to be on the system. I sent an intern to request the scans once she was out of surgery.”

“Wow you must really hate Shepherd to have done that,” Koracick chimed in as he arrived at the desk, “What did she do to you?”

“What? She didn’t do anything to me…”

“You secretly in love with her or something? Did she break your heart?” he further provoked the attending neurosurgeon, making him stand up angrily to defend his actions, “She the one who gave you the black eye?"

“No, it was me,” Owen intervened, making his presence known. Looking to Isaac, he added, “And if there’s something wrong with her brain, you’ll have more than that to worry about.”

“I’m sorry, was that a threat, Dr. Hunt?” Isaac challenged, staring him in his eye. “Perhaps I should report you to HR?”

“And maybe I should report you to the board for negligence concerning a missing CT scan on one of your patients who exhibited neurological symptoms,” he retorted. If Owen could only get his hand out of this sling and hit him, he would. Tom watched the lesser neurosurgeon with a satisfying smirk, while Derek glared at him. To say Amelia had an army, was an understatement.

Isaac wanted to respond, but he knew he was in the wrong and had possibly jeopardised the brain function of his boss by assigning an intern to do his job, so he relented. “I’ll call up CT and get it done right away.”

“Perhaps I should take over head of neuro here,” Tom teased as Isaac walked away, knowing he could be heard, “Looks like this place might fall apart without Shepherd.”

---

When Amelia awoke, she was in a patient room, lying down in bed. Owen’s head laying against the side of the bed, and she would’ve thought he was asleep if it wasn’t for his soft snoring. Weak and in pain, she was barely able to stretch her fingers to poke his head, but he felt the action and his face instantly popped up to look at her. “You’re okay,” he sighed in relief, taking her hand as he let more tears fall, fresher than the ones that fell earlier.

“What happened?” she whispered hoarsely, letting him take her hand in his two larger ones.

“You collapsed during surgery,” he explained, not sure how to explain the rest of the story, “You…Robbins said you were having an ectopic pregnancy. 8 weeks.” Amelia closed her eyes as the tears began to fall. “There was blood leaking from your fallopian tube when she went in…” The words coming out of his mouth slowly faded into the background as she absorbed the information. She couldn’t help but feel like she’d spited herself by their earlier conversation about having an abortion, as illogical as it sounded.

“…there was nothing that she could’ve done,” Owen finished, waiting for her response.

“So, I had a miscarriage,” she repeated, to which he nodded. Amelia averted her gaze and looked out the window, unsure of how to process the information, if she could.

“Are you okay?” he asked, not expecting her silence. He expected an outcry, tears, emotions all over, but there was just silence; Amelia seemed unfazed, numb. “I mean, I know you’re not okay, but…”

“I’m okay,” she said unsurely. Truthfully, she didn’t know if she was really okay, or if the emotions were just waiting to burst out of her at some untimely point in the future. It was hard to tell when all she could think of was how stupid it was that she was actually anxious earlier about how to go about raising a fifth child. Now she felt numb, the kind of numbness that came from touching ice for too long. The type of numbness that stung you after a while, and made your hand cramp.

“Is there anything you need?” he further asked, trying to determine what she might want right now, “Should I bring in the kids?”

“No, don’t bring them,” she responded, pulling her hand out of his grasp, “Can you…can I be alone?” Alone? Amelia never liked being alone with her thoughts, Owen knew this.

“Okay…are you sure?” he sought to confirm, a little disappointed that she couldn’t seem to make eye contact with him, “We don’t have to talk or anything, I could just stay here quietly?”

“Alone is fine, thanks,” she coldly answered him, still not looking in his direction. Sighing, Owen stood and left, looking back once at her small figure, still in bed, facing away from him. After that, Amelia had slowly, but surely, begun to shut him out. To the point where he no longer knew if she even had feelings.

---

“How long do I have to stay in this thing?” Amelia complained. They were in the CT room now, with Owen, Derek and Tom on the other side of the glass, awaiting her results.

Pressing a finger on the mic, Tom responded, “If you stay still and stop talking, we could be finished in less time.”

“What are you even doing here in Seattle?” she further complained as the nurse injected the dye, “Did you lose your job at Hopkins?”

“Far from it,” Koracick replied, “You called me on a consult for a patient, but you never told me who the patient was.” He turned off the mic and looked to Owen and Derek, adding, “Did she ever tell you she had a crush on me back in the day?” Derek rolled his eyes while Owen furrowed his brows in confusion; he really didn’t like this guy.

“Just do the scan,” Derek insisted, a disgusted look on his face. Tom chuckled, enjoying the discomfort he was causing amidst Amelia’s colleagues.

“Okay, scans are coming up now, stay still,” he said into the mic once more. The three doctors watched in anticipation as the scans slowly presented, one by one. As the scans showed their final forms, Derek and Tom furrowed their eyebrows in confusion, leaning in closer to assess them.

“Is that…?” Derek began, unable to say the words aloud.

“What? What’s wrong?” Owen asked, scooting closer to look at the screen, “Oh…”

“That is a…” Tom started, for once at a loss for words, “…big tumour.” He looked up at Amelia through the glass, just as she came out of the CT machine.

“So what’s wrong with my brain?” the Shepherd naively asked, noticing their horrified looks, “Do I have a slow leak bleed or something?”

“No, but you definitely have something…” Tom vaguely replied, giving the scans another once over.

—-

“So these are brain scans from over ten years ago,” Tom explained, handing Amelia the tablet to show her the images, “They were done while you were in LA, as part of your hiring process at a private practice.”

She looked at the scans. “I don’t remember this scan.”

“Yes, I know,” the neurosurgeon humoured her. He swiped the images to the left, landing on her most recent scan. “These are the scans that we took just now.” Amelia looked at the scans in front of her with a look on her face that was hard to read.

Looking up at Tom, and the rest of the doctors in the room, she sought to confirm, “I have a brain tumour?”

“You do, a grade one meningioma,” Derek confirmed, “It would explain why you called Tom. Actually, it explains a lot of things you’ve done over the past five months.” Meredith held Derek’s hand, hoping to offer up some sort of comfort as they displayed the truth for her. Truthfully, a massive brain tumour was the last thing Meredith had thought of when wondering why Amelia was so erratically crazy.

“How long has it been there?” she queried in a small voice, looking back at the scans.

“Likely around ten years or so,” Tom estimated, “You would’ve begun showing signs from a year to two years ago. Pregnancy would also speed up the growth process, so it’s hard to determine how long you’ve had it for, or when exactly you would’ve begun to show symptoms.” Looking to Owen and Derek, Tom asked, “Has she been pregnant over the last five years?” Both surgeons nodded.

“Wait a minute,” Amelia stopped them, “I was pregnant? How many times?” Pressing a hand to her chest, she added, “Oh my god, do I have kids?”

“Five times,” Owen relayed quietly, anticipating a negative reaction. He looked to Ryan, who seemed just as uncomfortable as he did, divulging this information.

“Who’s the father?” she asked slowly, looking suspiciously between Ryan and Owen.

“Me,” was the response that came out of both their mouths.

Opening her eyes even wider, the youngest Shepherd pursed her lips, saying, “Two baby daddies sounds like something that would happen to me.” Both men blushed, averting their eyes as they fiddled with the clothing they wore. “So, which one of you am I still screwing?”

“Amy!” Derek berated her.

“I don’t even like kids.”

“Looks like someone lost their filter again,” Meredith murmured coyly, receiving an eye roll from Derek.

“I am…well I was…” Owen tried to begin to explain their relationship, “We were married. We no longer are. We were together, but I don’t think we were around the time that your accident…”

“So, I am a single mother with four children and two baby daddies,” she begun, trying to make sense of the complicated situation, “And…is there an affair I should be aware of as well? Because that sounds like something I’d do.”

“Is this the tumour talking?” Ryan sought to confirm from Derek.

“I’m not even sure anymore,” Derek sighed.

“This doesn’t explain the memory loss, though,” Amelia accurately pointed out.

“Yes, that’s the only problem,” Tom agreed with her, “The seizure you suffered after your injury would’ve likely had a part to play, but we aren’t seeing anything on your scans. Now, there is a possibility that the tumour is masking it, but we won’t know until we do more testing. The other, faster option, of figuring out what’s going on in there, is surgery.”

“And when can we do surgery?”

“Amy, one step at a time,” Derek condescended his little sister.

“Says the Shepherd without a massive tumour in their head,” she sarcastically retorted, glaring at Derek.

“You need to heal and regain your strength before you can qualify to do this surgery. It is a fairly large tumour, after all; even if it’s not cancerous.”

“Let’s reassess in four weeks,” Tom suggested, taking the tablet from her, ��That’ll give you time to heal from your abdominal wounds, and hopefully you’ll be able to regain some of your memories, give us a better idea of how your brain is working and healing.”

Amelia nodded. “And what do I do in the meantime? What if I don’t remember?”

“Heal, get back into your routine,” Tom offered as he slowly exited the room, “Maybe learn to like kids?”

At the mention of the word kids, Amelia gulped. “Okay…” She looked to Owen and Ryan, asking, “When should I…?”

“Maybe we should wait a little longer?” Owen offered unsurely.

“Owen, they miss her,” Ryan defended, “especially Ryan. Let them see her for a bit.”

“I don’t know much about kids, but I’m pretty sure they’d be dying to see their mom,” Amelia offered intuitively, “So…why not?” Ryan and Owen exchanged confusing looks. “What, are they gonna hate me or something?”

“Well,” Ryan was the first to speak up, “the Amelia I remember, isn’t very good with kids…”

“And I think one of them may have a bit of an affliction with your decisions,” Owen offered vaguely.

“So is that a no?” Owen and Ryan exchanged an unsteady gaze..

—-

“Are you sure that’s what you saw?”

Rosie nodded her head. “She was there with Dr. Isaac.”

“But why would she do something like that?” Ryan exclaimed, betrayed and confused by his mother’s finnicky behaviour. Rosie shrugged, hugging her arms around her shoulder as she looked around the conference room. She was having a hard time feeling compassion or guilt for her mother’s condition, after having seen her betray her father. Yet she couldn’t figure out why she jumped into action to help save her life. She felt conflicted, and numb.

“What are we gonna do if they break up for real this time?” Rosie asked her older brother. She and Ryan were far too familiar with the back and forth that appeared to always be going on between their parents. It left a consistent feeling of anxiety in the air for both of them.

“We stick together,” Ryan assured her, putting his arm around her shoulder.

“Okay guys, are you ready?” Owen asked as he came into the waiting room to collect them and take them to Amelia. Both kids shrugged, not entirely sure how they were supposed to be feeling right now. Ryan felt emotionally exhausted, while Rosie felt emotionally numb. Realistically, neither kid wanted to deal with anything right now. Rosie just wanted to go home and sleep in her own bed. And Ryan, well oddly enough there was a book he was hoping to get home and finish before all this had happened.

Stooping to their level, the father asked, “What’s going on? I thought you guys would be more excited to see your mom?”

“I am,” Ryan defended lamely, looking down at his lap. No one could ever doubt that Ryan loved his mother with all his heart. “I’m just…”

“We’re just tired, daddy,” Rosie cut in, saving the day with what she would soon learn was called a half truth, “Can we go home?”

Owen frowned, not believing the response, but going along with it. “Okay, yeah. Yeah, we can do that.” He stood up and held his hand out for Rosie, and Ryan jumped off the couch to follow them.

While Owen took the kids home, Ryan sat in the patient room, keeping Amelia company until the trauma surgeon returned. Although a bit odd, it was funny and sentimental talking to the Amelia that he had initially fallen in love with all those years ago.

Taking her hand in his, he asked, “How have you been feeling?”

“I feel like I have really bad food poisoning,” she joked, making him chuckle, “And my head is spinning with all this information.” Ryan nodded sympathetically, imagining how confusing it could be to wake up in the middle of your life and not know anything. “Where is the Owen guy? I thought he was bringing the kids.”

“Oh, he ended up taking them home,” Ryan summarized carefully, “They were pretty tired, and they’ve already missed three days of school, so you know.”

“Oh,” Amelia hummed, looking around her patient room. Mumbling softly, she insightfully stated, “Why do I get the feeling that no one is really fond of me right now?” Ryan opened his mouth and then closed it, unsure of if or how to answer her question.

“It’s a complicated situation, Amelia…”

“Feels more like everyone thinks I’m a bitch,” she retorted, looking outside her patient doors at the personnel on her floor. “I don’t blame them; I probably was a bitch.”

“They’re still dealing with the whole situation,” he explained, squeezing her hand, “A lot happened before you got injured. There were a lot of feelings in the air.” Just then, Owen finally reappeared, seeing the two talking and holding hands and choosing to wait by the nurses’ desk outside her room. Standing up and letting her hand go, Ryan added, “There’s still a lot of feelings in the air. Don’t be too harsh on him.” He patted the back of her hand before exiting the room and going to the desk to speak to Owen. “She’s all yours.”

“Hey, what’s your deal?” Owen accused him in an edgy voice. His eyes were a bit red, and he looked pretty agitated and tired, but Ryan chose to entertain his erratic behaviour still.

“What do you mean?”

“Suddenly, you’re just choosing to stay here and take care of her?” the trauma surgeon assumed, putting his hands on his hips as he tried to tower over Ryan and appear bigger. “I bet you’re real glad she doesn’t remember anything, huh? Now you two can start over…”

“Owen, you’re being unnecessarily weird,” Ryan cut him off, “Amelia is the mother of my son, I just want to make sure that she makes a full recovery.” He was being illogically aggressive, and Ryan knew it was likely because of all that had happened in the last few days, so he tried to be understanding. “I’m not jumping back in the race or anything. I’m just making sure she’s comfortable.”

“By flirting with her?”

“Hunt, I am not the enemy here.”

“Ha, where have I heard that before,” he dismissed him, ready to add to his statement before his phone rang. “This is Dr. Hunt.” Listening to the man on the other line, his anger began to escalate. “I’m on my way.”

“Hey, where are you going?” Ryan called as the trauma surgeon stormed down the hall. Owen ignored his question, making him decide to follow him out of the hospital.

“Owen!” Ryan yelled, following him to the parking lot. When he got close enough, he grabbed him by his shoulder. “Hey-,”

“What?” the surgeon asked through gritted teeth, spinning around to glare at him.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to the station,” he replied, “They found Amelia’s car, and the person who stole it.”

“And what are you planning to do when you get there?” Ryan accused, knowing Owen wasn’t thinking straight right now.

“Look, either you come with me or you don’t,” Owen said, pulling his car keys out of his wallet with his good hand, “But I’m going.” Sighing, Ryan combed his fingers through his hair as he weighed his options, realising the only one was to go with him. Amelia wouldn’t forgive him if he allowed Owen to do something ill-advised. The question now was, would he be able to stop him?

#omelia #owen hunt #amelia shepherd #ryan shepherd #ryan kerrigan #rosie shepherd-hunt #au #infections of a different kind of human #derek shepherd #meredith grey #tom koracick

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golchaworld · 4 years

Text

I’m Just Too Scared to Lose (And I Know You Are Too) | C. YJ

➳ pairing: campus player!yeonjun x female reader

➳ genre: college!au, angst

➳ word count: ~5.2k

➳ warnings: non-descriptive depictions of sex, cursing, bi!yeonjun (not a warning but just in case), partially set in a nursing home

➳ summary: you hate that your mind stays wrapped around a lover who doesn’t love you.

A/N: And we’re back w this fic! I’m actually super excited to have this finished. I hope y’all enjoy pt. 2 as much as you enjoyed pt. 1! Title once again is from “Don’t Wanna Fall In Love” by KYLE. As always feel free to leave comments and/or feedback. My ask box is always open :)

Part One

Yeonjun’s hand presses firmly into your thigh, keeping it hitched around his waist. His other arm is propped near your head, caging you in between him and the bed. His bicep bulges with the effort of keeping himself up, but he doesn’t pay it any mind.

A warm forehead is pressed against yours, the sweat from both of your bodies mingling on your faces. At this point there’s no more kisses, just bites and whines crossing the small space in between your bodies.

Yeonjun releases a groan, his hips stuttering against yours when you clench around him. He sneaks a hand between your bodies, rubbing slow circles on your sex that have your eyes rolling back. After this much time together, he knows exactly how to bring you to your release, every single time.

You tip over the edge with a shout of Yeonjun’s name, subsequently bringing him over the edge as well. He groans deeply into your mouth, capturing your lips in a bruising kiss. He doesn’t pull away until you’ve both come down from your highs.

Instead of pulling out, Yeonjun stills inside you, forehead still pressed against yours. He’s searching your gaze, his own eyes glassy. The hand that rested on your core traces a path up the side of your body, smoothing over your every curve.

“I’m going to miss this,” he whispers, as if afraid to scare you off. I love you.

Your heart crumbles to dust inside your rib cage.

“I’m going to miss this too.” You can’t help the slight crack in your voice. I love you too.

It’s then that Yeonjun pulls out, going through the motions of cleaning you both up as much as possible. When he finally settles back into bed with you, your eyes are drifting shut. Yeonjun just chuckles, pulling you into his chest and placing a sickeningly tender kiss on your temple.

. . .

That was the last time you saw Choi Yeonjun before winter break, and you tell yourself it’s for the better.

You had told yourself that you were just going over to his dorm to say goodbye, maybe give him a hug. But like always, Yeonjun was irresistible. All he had to do was flash the smirk and you were putty in his hands.

Just the way he liked it.

Now you just stare at the ceiling of your childhood bedroom, wondering how Yeonjun has managed to plague your thoughts even now. He lingers around your thoughts like a morning fog, unable to be cleared up, no matter the amount of sunshine.

It scares you. But more than that, it hurts. It hurts that you won’t see him for a whole month. It hurts that your mind is so wrapped around someone who isn’t even sparing you a single thought. It hurts that your mind is wrapped around a lover who doesn’t love you.

Before you had met Yeonjun, you were looking forward to winter break. You were looking forward to being with your family and celebrating the winter holidays. You loved the cold weather contrasted by the warmth of the fireplace and family laughter.

Now that Yeonjun’s in the picture, everything feels too warm and all too cold at the same time. You want nothing more to get back to campus and be in his dorm again. Your sheets feel like sandpaper on your skin where his sheets feel like silk. Your comforter doesn’t smell like him. Your ceiling doesn’t have those hairline cracks like his does.

God, he’s not even your boyfriend.

You try whispering the word out into the emptiness of your bedroom. Boyfriend. It dies on your tongue. Boyfriend. It tastes too bitter. Boyfriend. It doesn’t feel real.

Because it isn’t real. You hate that you have to keep reminding yourself of it, but at the very least it keeps you humble. Yeonjun isn’t your boyfriend. He’s your friend, you guess. He’s someone who you work with and see around on campus and have sex with sometimes. Bile rises in your throat, leaving a nasty taste in your mouth.

You don’t have time to feel sorry for yourself, seeing as your dad’s voice rings out throughout the house. He’s calling you for dinner, but you’re not hungry. As much as you want to stay in bed, though, you force yourself to your feet.

If you can’t be with the one you want to be with, you might as well drown yourself in family. Hopefully, it will make you forget.

But of course, it doesn’t.

The days pass excruciatingly slowly, no matter how packed they are. Every family dinner begins to blend together in a whirlwind of too much food and forced laughter. You feel bad, because your family deserves more from you, but you just can’t bring yourself to move past the ache in the center of your chest.

You ring in the New Year staring at your phone, hoping for a text, a snapchat, something. It’s pitiful. Your family counts down with the Ball dropping, yelling and cheering as the New Year arrives. You just sigh before cheering along with your family. By the end of the night, you have a headache.

Yeonjun posts on instagram on January 5th, a week before you return back to campus. It’s a selfie, with him and another boy, both smiling too widely at the camera. The boy is gorgeous, you have to admit, with round eyes, a sharp nose, and full lips. But what takes you by surprise is how happy Yeonjun looks.

‘Missed my bb Gyu,’ the caption reads.

Your phone ends up on the floor while you end up face down in your bed, groaning deeply. Even with your eyes closed, you see green. Of course Yeonjun is doing fine. Why wouldn’t he be?

Why aren’t you?

. . .

It takes all of your reserve not to go straight to Yeonjun’s dorm when you arrive back on campus. Instead you calmly return to your own, taking your time unpacking as a means of distracting yourself. It’s still over all too quickly, and you find yourself checking your phone nervously. You only have one unread message, but it makes your stomach drop anyways.

‘You back on campus?’

Within a minute, you have your coat and shoes on, checking if you have your dorm key before heading out the door.

Yeonjun’s room is just like how you left it, and you don’t know why you expected it to change in the month you’ve been gone. You don’t have much time to register any differences before Yeonjun is sweeping you into a deep kiss, pressing your back into the door. You can’t help but smile at Yeonjun’s eagerness, relieved that you’ve been wanted, at least in some way, over the past month.

Almost no words are exchanged as the two of you go through the motions. You speak with your bodies instead. You dig your nails into his back, hard. I missed you. Yeonjun bruises your hips with the force of his grip. I missed you, too.

Your climax has you seeing white, static filling your ears. Yeonjun seems to go through the same, clutching your body close, nothing but heavy pants leaving his mouth. It’s not until afterwards, when you’re pulling your clothes back on, when Yeonjun decides to speak.

“It was weird,” he begins. “Not seeing you for so long.”

You chuckle bitterly. “I’m sure you had plenty of opportunities to get your dick wet while you were home.”

“I did.” And there goes the smirk. “But that’s not what I meant.”

You just roll your eyes, sure that he’s unable to see you. You try to tie your shoes quickly, needing to leave, but not really knowing why. The coat you had on when you came in is lost somewhere on the other side of the room, and you rush to look for it.

“Dude, why are you in such a rush?” Yeonjun questions from his position on the bed.

“You did not just call me ‘dude’ after we just fucked.”

There’s your coat. You pull it over your shoulders, not caring about how hot it suddenly makes you.

“I’m sorry,” Yeonjun’s eyebrows hold a deep furrow. “It’s just...you’re being weird. You’re normally not so quick to leave. Plus, I haven’t seen you in forever. Don’t you want to stay?”

You just shake your head, hand already on the door handle. “No, it’s okay. I just have an early class tomorrow. But I’ll see you at work, okay?”

Yeonjun nods slowly, but you don’t stay long enough to see it. He sighs when you practically slam the door behind you. Then it hits him, like a bullet through his right lung.

Tomorrow is Sunday.

. . .

One thing you’re actually excited about is getting back to your research position. You missed the warmth of the nursing home, the busy days, your patients. As annoying as you found the job in the beginning, you have grown to love it. You just resent the fact that so much of that has to do with Yeonjun.

Soobin is the first to greet you on the Monday afternoon of your return. He pulls you into a bear hug, almost knocking you over with his weight. Hyunjin does the same, albeit much more gently, before asking you a slew of questions about your winter break. Both of them listen intensely as you tell white lies about the amount of fun you had.

Hyunjin brags about the amount of choreography he made over the break, while Soobin recounts all of the interesting places he napped. You just roll your eyes, perplexed about how these two could ever be friends.

Before you know it, it’s 10 minutes to your first interview of the day, and you’re quickly excusing yourself. You scramble to the breakroom, aiming to put the snack that you brought into the refrigerator. The breakroom is more lively than usual, filled with volunteers catching up with each other before their official shifts start at 1pm. The sheer amount of mint scrubs in one place is enough to have you uneasy, but when you catch a pair of familiar eyes, your stomach flutters.

Yeonjun shoots you a soft smile, accompanied with a wave. His hair is shaggy and soft, ears void of any piercings, and no colored contacts to alter his appearance. He looks so incredibly soft, and you hate him for it. You hate how effortly beautiful he is. You hate how it’s his effortless beauty that made you fall for him.

You wave back, placing your lunchbox in the refrigerator. Yeonjun’s eyes follow you around the room until you leave, headed to your office. Once you leave the room, he sighs, turning back to Yeji and Changbin to listen to their stories.

Inside your office, your heart threatens to leap out of your chest. Every surface is tainted with memories of Yeonjun. It’s not suffocating, but still omnipresent. The remnants of him linger like an itch under your skin, a constant reminder of your biggest problem at the moment.

You’re able to disregard it, though, once you begin your actual work. The interviews fly by in a flurry of misunderstandings and patients dozing off, but by the time it’s all over, you have a smile on your face. Seeing the residents of the home is easily your favorite part of the job, making you never want to leave when you’re supposed to.

At around 6:30, however, you choose to head back to your dorm, needing to complete some homework for your classes the following day. You gather up your belongings in your office before heading out. You stop in your tracks, however, when you see a figure leaning against the wall adjacent to your office door.

“Yeonjun?”

The boy looks disheveled, like he always does after a shift. His hair is now a tad frizzy, name tag askew. You would chuckle, if not for the look in his eyes.

“Do you have a moment?” He questions. “I think we should talk a little.”

For a moment, you’re quiet, not knowing if you’re ready to have whatever conversation that Yeonjun has planned. But you eventually nod, opening your office door further to let the boy in.

He makes himself comfortable on one of the small armchairs in the corner of the room, leaving you no choice but to sit opposite him. While you slip off your coat, he leans forward, propping his elbows on his knees before sighing deeply. He’s nervous. The realization alone has you shifting uncomfortably in your seat.

“Are we, like,” Yeonjun swallows thickly. “Are we okay? Ever since break, you’ve been weird.”

You scoff. “You’ve only seen me once since break. How would you know I’ve been weird?”

“Only seeing you once in a week and a half is weird. Did something happen?”

Yeonjun’s eyes are clouded over when he looks at you, a contrast to the sharp, piercing gaze he normally has on you. You hate that he looks so closed, especially here. He is always soft and open in the nursing home, and you hate that you have ruined that for him.

“Nothing happened, Yeonjun. I’ve just been busy.”

“But this is your first day back at work!”

You can tell Yeonjun doesn’t mean to raise his voice, but it escapes him anyways. As soon as he realizes, he runs a hand through his hair, letting out a frustrated groan. Your heart swoops at the way a few strands of hair stick out at odd angles.

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes. “I didn’t come here to yell at you. I’m just...worried, I guess. It almost feels like you’ve been avoiding me.”

“I clearly haven’t been avoiding you if we had sex the day we both got back to campus.”

Yeonjun rolls his eyes. “That wasn’t what I meant, and you know it.”

You simultaneously cross your arms across your chest as you cross your legs. “I don’t know, Yeonjun. I don’t know what you’re talking about. We started all of this to just have fun. Are you saying you’re not having fun anymore?”

Yeonjun’s jaw drops in disbelief. “Is that seriously what this still is to you? Just having fun?”

You furrow your eyebrows, not understanding what the boy across from you is getting at. It doesn’t sound like the Yeonjun you know. The Yeonjun you know would run the opposite way of something more. He wouldn’t complain about not seeing a hook up after a while. He would just move on to the next one.

So you’re confused why this Yeonjun sounds so hung up. Why is this Yeonjun so hurt?

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

You find yourself reaching to take back the words the minute they leave your mouth, but your efforts are futile. Yeonjun just stares at you. While his eyes were once clouded over, now they are icy. His stare holds an astounding clarity, causing a shiver to run up your spine.

“You’re right,” Yeonjun bites out. “It shouldn’t be anything more. Let’s just stick to having fun. That’s what we do best, right?”

You don’t get a chance to redeem yourself before the boy is standing, swiftly exiting your office, and shutting the door harshly behind himself. Instantly, you deflate.

What the hell just happened?

. . .

The next time you see Yeonjun, he’s littered with hickies. None of them were left by you.

Yeonjun leaves the first party of the semester with a busty girl named Eunha, not even sparing you a glance on his way out.

You see Yeonjun flirting with a boy in the library a few days later. He never meets your eyes, even when he catches you staring.

Yeonjun barely greets you when he sees you in the nursing home. He just gives you a small nod, one that passes for cordiality, but you know he’s being stiff.

Yeonjun never comes to remind you that your shift is over, or that you haven’t eaten. You find yourself routinely missing dinner as a result.

. . .

Three weeks after your last conversation with Yeonjun, the nursing home is decorated with warm shades of red and pink to commemorate the upcoming Valentine’s Day. It’s a little overkill, the way they ask you to put up a string of origami hearts on your office door. Even the volunteers have begun to put heart stickers on their nametags.

Mint green and red is a terrible color combination.

Honestly, the whole ordeal makes you a bit queasy. There’s something so off-putting about having to celebrate a holiday when you feel like utter shit. It’s even worse to celebrate a holiday of love when your feelings are a mess--an unfixable mess, at that.

When you check out at the end of your shift on an odd Wednesday, Soobin cocks his head cutely, making the heart headband he wears shift slightly.

“You’re leaving pretty early today,” he comments. “Everything alright?”

You sigh, not even knowing where to begin. “I’m just really tired.”

Soobin nods, eyes flickering between you and the computer screen in front of him. The checkout process is always more complicated than it needs to be, and you find yourself leaning against the front desk in the meantime.

Soobin begins to say something, but is cut off when a figure sidles up next to you. A quick glance in your peripheral vision has you knowing exactly who it is, and you resent the fact that Hyunjin went home early.

“Hey Yeonjun,” Soobin beams. “Do you need to be checked out too?”

“I can wait. You can finish up with Y/N first.”

Yeonjun’s voice sounds smaller than usual. It has a soft rasp to it, a result of evident exhaustion. Even though you don’t let yourself look, you know Yeonjun’s hair is frizzy. You wonder if his name tag is upside down like it usually is at this time.

It’s impossible not to be hyper aware of his presence. The slight heat he radiates from his body is comforting, felt every time his shoulder ever-so-slightly brushes against yours. It would be so easy for him to slide an arm around your waist. It would be easy for him to touch you ever so slightly. It would be easy for him to whisper in your ear and tell you that he misses you.

But he doesn’t.

You want to initiate it, to be the first to look, touch, talk, but something holds you back. It’s evident that you’re the last of Yeonjun’s concerns, so maybe you should just let it go. Maybe you should just hold your head up high and try your hardest not to cross paths with him again. But something is wrong with that. Something feels so wrong about letting go.

“Alright, Y/N,” Soobin’s voice rings out. “You’re all set. See you tomorrow.”

You smile, albeit a little forced, while waving to the boy behind the desk. You don’t spare a glance to the figure on your right before exiting the nursing home.

It’s only when you feel the cold air on your face do you let out the breath you didn’t know you were holding. You find yourself breathing deeply, attempting to calm yourself, but it’s no use. Tears quickly form in your eyes, welling up until they overflow with the slight breath of wind.

You keep moving, though, walking to the bus stop with tears flowing down your cheeks. You know that you must look like a mess, hyperventilating as you walk, with trails of makeup sliding down your face. But you can’t find it in yourself to care.

You can’t even think, let alone bring yourself to wipe at your eyes. You just feel. You feel the harsh air on your face, feel your lungs working at maximum capacity, feel your heart clench in pain.

It takes 142 seconds for the bus to come (you count). You don’t hesitate to get on, breathing having slowed down. The tears keep coming, though, seemingly unwilling to stop. When you see your reflection in the bus window, you let out a bitter chuckle. You look awful.

You settle into your seat, taking a chance to lean your head against the adjacent window. The glass is cool on your face, a contrast to your heated cheeks. Taking a deep breath, you let your shoulders sag, ridding your body of the tension it carried while crying.

It feels so unlike you to cry without warning. You’ve never really allowed yourself to break down like that in public, and as much as you’d like to pretend you don’t know why, you know Yeonjun has something to do with it.

The short bus ride to campus is spent with you looking out of the window, trying to find a way to calm your tears. Eventually, they cease, but the ache in your core is still there. Hurt pulses throughout your abdomen, rising up your throat and spreading throughout your head. You need an Advil.

When you finally make it to your dorm, you sigh, feeling blessed that you have a single, and no roommate there to bother you. You toe off your work heels at the door, hanging your coat on a hook next to the light switch. Your bag drops from your hand with a small thud, its contents rattling with the force of its fall.

With your dress still on, makeup trails covering your face, and your phone in your hand, you flop down face first on the bed. You’re content to fall asleep like this, not caring about the possible acne you’ll have when you wake up in the morning or the discomfort of your dress. Even if your phone is dead in the morning, it doesn’t matter, because you feel as though if you don’t go to sleep, you’re going to lose your mind.

Just as you feel the tendrils of sleep wrap around your body, your phone buzzes in your hand. You groan into the mattress, kicking at it like a toddler throwing a tantrum. When you finally turn to look at the text message, your heart skips a beat.

‘I saw you crying,’ Yeonjun’s text reads.

You scoff, not even wanting to reply. Just as you’re about to turn the phone back over, though, it buzzes again. Yeonjun’s second text forces a shuddering breath out of you.

‘Let’s talk. My dorm after work on Friday?’

You don’t answer.

. . .

Yeonjun looks surprised when you show up at his door on Friday night. He’s still in his scrubs, hair unkempt. His pouty lips form a small ‘o’ that reflects his emotions perfectly. In all honesty, you’re just as surprised.

“I didn’t think you would come,” Yeonjun breathes out.

You nod, side stepping the boy to enter the small dorm room. “Neither did I.”

Yeonjun closes the door behind you, watching you trek further into his room. Making yourself comfortable on his desk chair, you look at him expectedly. It takes all of your resolve not to outwardly coo at the furrow in between his eyebrows.

“So, um, how have you been?”

You scoff, baffled at his question. “You called me all the way here to ask me how I’ve been?”

“Is it such a sin to care about how you’ve been doing?” Yeonjun looks at you with equal amounts of disbelief.

“I just don’t understand why. Why do you care?”

Yeonjun’s mind screams at him to just spit it out, to confess. He wants nothing more than to tell you how he feels, but something’s wrong. Something about you feels wrong, and it’s the first time Yeonjun has ever found himself admitting that.

Eventually, the boy sighs, dropping down to sit on his bed. “Can you just answer the question? Have you been alright? Soobin told me your hours have been really irregular.”

Your gaze drops down to the hands you have folded in your lap. “I’ve just been having trouble keeping track of time recently.”

The way Yeonjun looks at you has your stomach churning. It’s evident that he’s pondering something, tripping over words in his head to arrive at a question that he can’t ask. His eyes are clear and sharp, but not exactly icy. He’s uncomfortable, but your presence isn’t unwanted.

It’s not long before Yeonjun sighs, running a hand through his already messy hair. “Y/N, what the hell are we doing?”

You instantly deflate at the question. “I don’t know.”

And truly, you don’t know. You don’t know how you and Yeonjun have gone from being strangers to friends to lovers and back to strangers in the span of six months. You don’t know why you can’t move on. You don’t know why you didn’t just keep your distance like you promised yourself to do freshman year.

Yeonjun’s face melts into a subtle frown, pouty lips turning downwards as silence lingers between you two. The clarity in his eyes is momentarily clouded over, but it returns just as quickly as it left. He shifts on the bed, pulling his knees into his chest.

“Honestly, Yeojun,” you start, voice surprisingly strong. “I don’t even know what went wrong. Things were fine, and then we left for break. When we came back, everything was different.”

Yeonjun’s eyes glimmer with something wet. Fear? Hope? “What was different?” He asks softly.

“That’s what I don’t know.” You sigh frustratedly. “You kept trying to talk and I just kept wondering what there was to talk about.”

“Things felt different, but you didn’t have anything to say?”

Yeonjun’s voice has an annoyed lilt to it that takes you aback. It wasn’t often that Yeonjun got angry, and it was almost never at you. You can see now that maybe he has had reason to be. Maybe Yeonjun is angry with you. The thought alone scares you.

“Are you saying that it’s my fault for wanting to communicate?”

Your eyes widen in disbelief. “I’m not saying it’s anyone’s fault, Yeonjun. I’m just saying it was a lot and it was confusing and I didn’t understand. Why are you getting mad?”

“I’m not mad!” Yeonjun all but yells. “I just spent so long thinking that I was crazy for thinking that things were different, but you noticed it too. Why didn’t you say anything?!”

Anger bubbles up within your core, flushing your cheeks. There’s heat behind Yeonjun’s gaze, leaving you no choice but to match it with your own.

“I didn’t say anything because I was confused! I just fucking said that.” And then it hits you. “Wait, you thought things were different too?”

Color instantly rises to Yeonjun’s cheeks, and you recognize it as embarrassment rather than anger. He raises a hand to scratch at the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Of course I did.”

And then there’s silence. You can hear the sounds of chatter from the hallways. Somewhere from down the hall, someone flushes a toilet. A bed creaks next door. Yeonjun isn’t looking at you, but you’re looking right at him.

You laugh. You can’t help the rising feeling, and eventually you let full-bellied laughter bubble out of your throat. It’s too loud for the room, jarring in fact. Yeonjun’s gaze snaps directly to you, a strong furrow taking hold in between his eyebrows.

“Is that funny to you?” Even though there’s heat behind Yeonjun’s words, it’s evident that he’s more confused than anything.

“This is hilarious.” You continue to laugh, forcing out your words between breaths. “Yeonjun, we’re both idiots.”

“What do you mean?” “If you felt like things were different, and I felt like things were different, then things were different!”

Yeonjun looks at you like you sprouted another head. “What does that even mean?”

Eventually your laughter subsides, allowing you to look at Yeonjun clearly. He’s still confused, made obvious by the furrow he still holds between his brows. His pout is deep, and you want to kiss him so badly, but you stay glued to your seat.

“If I’m not mistaken, it means that neither of us wanted to ‘just have fun’ anymore, right?”

Yeonjun shakes his head ‘no’ adorably.

“Then the only thing we have to figure out is what we want.” You take a breath. “It’s okay that you don’t want more from me. We can call this whole thing off, if you want. I know you don’t do ‘feelings’ or commitment, and you have plenty of people lined up behind me. I don’t want to get in the way of you pursuing other people. I won’t take it personally that you don’t want to do this anymore.”

Yeonjun’s jaw drops in disbelief. “You think I don’t want to do this anymore?”

You nod understandingly. “I get it. Maybe you think I got too attached or something, but it’s okay. We can stop and you can keep doing whatever you want.”

“Y/N, that’s not--”

“It’s okay.” You cut the boy off, leaving him floundering for words. “You don’t have to explain. I don’t want to damage your reputation by assuming some sort of exclusivity or anything. What started out as ‘just having fun’ got too complicated. That’s fine. Let’s just stop.”

“What if I don’t want to stop?”

Yeonjun’s response takes you by surprise. His eyes are clear and hard set in your direction, the furrow between his brows gone. His arms are crossed over his chest in a way that’s meant to be assertive, but comes off as insecure. Yeonjun cocks his head slightly.

“What if the reason I don’t want to have fun is because I want something more? What if I want exclusivity?”

Your eyes go wide as Yeonjun stands from the bed.

“Why are you assuming you know that I don’t want this? That I don’t want you?”

Once again you laugh, this time managing no more than a nervous chuckle. “Yeonjun, that’s not funny.”

Yeonjun squats in front of you, lowering himself so that you have to look down to meet his eyes. “I’m not joking.”

“But you don’t--you’re not--you don’t do relationships!”

And it’s true. The Yeonjun you know doesn’t waste time on exclusivity. You remember at the end of freshman year when a boy in your economics class, Wooyoung, was crying in the campus Starbucks for four hours straight. You later heard it was because he and Yeonjun had been sleeping together for some time, but when Wooyoung asked for more, Yeonjun broke his heart.

Clearly, this isn’t that Yeonjun. You can tell by the way he looks at you. It’s something akin to him in the nursing home. There’s a certain level of fear in his gaze, but there’s also warmth. There’s care. Yeonjun cares. He cares.

It surprises you when Yeonjun’s lips turn up into a small smile. “Trust me, I also thought I didn’t do relationships.” He grabs one of your hands, cradling it in between both of his. “But I think I want to try. With you. If that’s what you want too.”

You find yourself unable to do nothing but nod dumbly, still trying to process the boy’s words. Yeonjun chuckles, standing up from his squat, still cradling your hand gently.

“Is that a yes?”

You let yourself meet his gaze, craning your neck to look up at him. It’s all openness, eyes a clear and warm brown, slightly glossy at the corners. You take inventory of his messy hair, his askew name tag that’s decorated with red and pink hearts, and you know. You know.

“Yes.”

#choi yeonjun #choi yeonjun imagines #txt imagines #tomorrow by together imagines #tomorrow x together imagines #tomorrow x together #txt #escritos

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angstysebfan · 4 years

Text

If You Love Me, Why Did You Hurt Me? 4/?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Other Avengers Mentioned: Everyone! Warnings: cursing

Summary: You dated Bucky for 5 wonderful years! You thought he was the one! Then, without reason, he ends your relationship, and gets a new girlfriend 2 days later! While you are both Avengers, you still have to see him, and his girlfriend.

Series Masterlist

You’re sitting on your bed. Staring off into space. Rehab. You couldn’t believe they were sending you to rehab. It wasn’t just for the alcohol, it was to help you deal with all the feelings. Stupid feelings.

The psychiatrist feels its because you stopped yourself from feeling any emotion when you were younger, then felt so much emotion with Bucky, that now you don’t know how to deal with it. She also feels that you have severe abandonment issues. First your parents left you when you were 3 years old. Then you were pushed from foster home to foster home. The cherry on top of all that was Bucky leaving you.

She feels that a few months in this center with daily therapy sessions, both private and group, will help you cope with all the feelings you have. You weren’t sold, but Steve and Tony promised you, your job as an Avenger will be waiting for you, when you get out. So here you are, packing that damn duffel bag again. Waiting for Tony and Steve to bring you.

“Hey, you need any help?” Natasha asked as she walking into your room.

“No, I think I got everything. Just don’t want to leave” you said, looking down to the floor, tears threatening. Natasha became your best friend when you moved in. She was like a sister more than a friend. She hated that you had been doing this to yourself these past few weeks. She sat next to you and put her arm over your shoulders.

“This will help. You know you can call me anytime. Just know that I am here for you, and that I love you.” You look up and see she also has tears in her eyes. You turn toward her and give her a hug. “I love you too, Nat”, you whispered through your tears.

You both separate, when you hear a throat clearing. Steve is standing at your door. “You ready to go?” Nodding, you grab your duffel bag, and all 3 head out of the room.

When you get down to the common room, the whole team is there. Wanda runs up and gives you a big hug. Vision pats you on the shoulder. Sam is next giving you a big hug and whispers that he will miss you, in your ear. Clint signs he loves you and gives you a hug. Tony takes your bag and heads toward the elevator. You turn around to see your friends one more time. The tears are falling down your face. “I love you all”, you say then turn and walk to the elevator.

As Steve and Tony walk you to the car outside, you hear your name being called by the one voice you didn’t expect to hear.

“Y/N! Wait!” You turn and see Bucky running towards you. Steve and Tony step up to block him from coming closer.

“No way Barnes! You have done enough!” Tony yells trying to keep the super soldier away from you.

“Please let me say one thing! Please!” Bucky says with pleading eyes. Steve looks at you. You nod.

“2 minutes Buck, that’s it”, Steve says. Bucky nods at him and walks up to you. Steve and Tony put your bag in the trunk and get into the car, giving you some privacy.

You’re looking down at the ground trying to imagine what he could possibly say.

Bucky tries to control his breathing. “Y/N, I... I am so sorry. Sorry isn’t even the word for how bad I feel. You didn’t deserve how I ended things. I was an idiot, for multiple reasons. M-Mostly for letting you go.” He says the last thing in a whisper, but you heard it.

Your head shot up. Is he for real? He breaks up with you in the worst way possible, with no reason as to why. 2 days later comes in with another girl, then when you are on your way to rehab, because of him, he tells you he regrets breaking up with you? What. The. Hell?!

“Are you fucking serious? Are you trying to hurt me more? Do you and Brittney get off on making me suffer, or something?”

“What? No! I mean it! I miss you every day. I still love you! I will regret what I did to you every day for the rest of my life.” You look at him, trying to find the lie in his words. You don’t find it. You shake your head.

“I can’t do this right now, Bucky. I have to go.” You turn and get into the car. You don’t look at him as you pull away from the compound. Your mind going 1000 miles per hour. He missed you. He regrets hurting you. He still loves you.

A part of you is so happy! The other part wants him to suffer. You figure you will see what happens after being away for a few months.

~ Time Jump- 3 months later~

You walk hand-in-hand up the driveway toward the compound. It’s been a long 3 months away, but you are so happy to be back home. Especially with your surprise!

You met Aaron while in rehab. He was in there for depression as well, and you 2 really hit it off during group therapy sessions. Soon you were spending every moment possible together. He was very supportive, and listened when you told him what happened. He said, “If you were my girl, I would never let you go.” You figured why not give a relationship a try. If he could fall for you when you are at your worst, then he will definitely love you at your best!

You enter from the elevator into the common room to see your family standing in front of a “Welcome Home” sign! You squeal as you let go of Aaron’s hand and run into a group hug. You missed them all. Even Thor came down to celebrate.

“Guys, I missed you all so much! I am so happy to finally be back home. This was the right decision, and I am so glad I did this.”

Once you all separated from the hug, you turned and reached for Aaron’s hand. “This is Aaron. He was also one of the patients at the center. He was my biggest supporter in there. We decided to try a relationship, so... he is my boyfriend!”

Everyone stopped and looked at the man standing next to you. Shocked expressions on their faces. One by one, they smiled and introduced themselves. Then you heard a thud behind you. You turned around to see Bucky, looking at you and Aaron, an unreadable expression on his face. On the ground a bouquet of your favorite flowers.

“Boyfriend? Wow!” Was all Bucky was able to say. He really had hoped that he would be able to win you back, but now he wasn’t so sure you would even give him a chance.

“Yes, Sergeant Barnes, boyfriend. Aaron, this is James, my ex.” Bucky winced at your words.

Aaron looks from you to Bucky, then puts a smug grin on his face. “Oh, you’re the one? Well, all I have to say is thank you. I got a pretty great girl, because of you.”

Everyone behind you gasped. You were shocked at Aarons words, but tried to not let it show. You and Bucky just kept staring at each other. Waiting to see who will make the first move. Finally, you break first.

“Where is Brittney? I thought she would be hanging off of you, like usual.” You grab hold of Aaron’s hand as you say this, rolling your eyes.

Bucky just stared at you. “We broke up. W-Was never going to work out. I’m meant to be with someone else” Bucky said. Blushing you have to break the eye contact. But you can’t help but notice the little butterflies in your stomach at his words.

“Well.. I am sorry to hear about that.” You turn and look at your team and then at Aaron. “I think we are going to go unpack in my room before we head over to Aaron’s new place.

“We made dinner for you y/n/n” Nat says hopefully. “Please stay.”

You look at Aaron, who shrugs at you. You look back at the team, and then at Bucky, who looks down somewhat defeated. “I guess we can eat first.”

Dinner was fun. It had been so long since you ate with your team. You really missed your family. You sat in between Aaron and Nat. Bucky, unfortunately sat directly across from you. Every time you snuck a glance, he was staring at you. It unnerved you, slightly. But it also made those stupid butterflies flutter in your stomach.

Aaron was amazing. Answered every question and took every threat about hurting you in stride. After dinner, you both went up to your room.

“Sorry about my friends, they are just really protective, especially after what happened”, you say as you put your clothes in their proper drawer. Aaron comes up from behind and wraps his arms around your waist. “I don’t mind. I enjoyed it actually. I like that they care.”

He starts kissing your neck, which surprises you. You haven’t been touchy in your relationship, you are not sure how you feel about it. You turn around in his arms and peck him on the cheek to get him to stop.

“You ready to head to your place?” You ask. He continues to look down at you with a soft look in his eyes. Slowly his head starts moving towards yours, while stroking your cheek. You are unsure if you are ready for this or not, but by the time you make up your mind, his lips are on yours.

Your whole body tenses as he moves his lips against yours. He seems to be completely oblivious to your awkwardness. You try to tell yourself to relax, but your body won’t listen. Then you feel his tongue swipe your bottom lip, and you quickly push away.

“Sorry. I guess I’m not ready to go down that road yet” you say anxiously. You are afraid to look at him, that he might be angry. He cups your chin and forces your to look into his eyes. He still has a very soft expression.

“Don’t worry. We will go at your pace. I promise. I will never make you do something you don’t want to.” You smile, and hug him.

Bucky is sitting up on the roof, drinking a beer. He keeps thinking of how you acted towards him tonight. He thought he might have a very small chance of working it out with you, but he sees that chance getting smaller now that you have that guy.

Bucky needed every ounce of control to not punch that guy out, after what he said. And he kept touching you during dinner. Bucky kept seeing red every time. You are his girl. Well, you were his girl, before he fucked it all up.

Bucky hears the door open, and hopes to whatever god is up there that it’s you. As usual, he is disappointed to find his best friend standing in front of him, instead of you.

“You alright Buck?” Steve walks over and sits in the chair next to Bucky. Concern in his bright blue eyes. “You haven’t said much since Y/N came home.”

Bucky takes another swig of his beer, not looking at his friend. “Oh, I’m just great. Nothing like seeing all hope I had of fixing this get washed down the drain when I saw her walk in with that douche.”

“Yeah, I don’t really like the guy either. Don’t trust him, I don’t know why. But honestly pal, I don’t know how much hope you had with her anyway.” Bucky looked at Steve.

“I know I fucked everything I had up, as usual. I honestly didn’t mean for anything to happen. I bought a ring, I was going to propose. What the hell is wrong with me?” Bucky stares off into the distance.

Steve gets up and pats Bucky on the back. “You got scared of being happy. It’s not an excuse for what you did, but it’s still the truth.”

Bucky sniffs, holding back tears. “I told you everything that happened between Brittney and I. What would you have done? I would have broken her heart, if she knew what happened. She would have left me! I don’t know if I could have taken it.”

“So instead, not only did you break her heart, you broke her completely. Buck, I know what you are saying, but be honest. You were protecting you, not her.” Steve shakes his head and starts walking back toward the door. He stops and turns toward Bucky again.

“I would have told her the truth. If she ended it, you might have had a fighting chance to win her back. I don’t like who she is with, but right now, she is the happiest she has been in months. Just let her be happy, please. If you love her, leave her alone.”

With that Steve leaves the roof. Bucky looks back at the door, tears going down his face. Steve is right. He was scared of getting hurt, so he hurt you first. You may never trust him again, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t going to fight for you.

Chapter 3 Chapter 5

Not sure how I like this chapter, but I’m interested to see where this goes. Let me know what you think!

#bucky x y/n #bucky fanfic #bucky angst #bucky x reader #bucky fic

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haziel-luz · 4 years

Text

Will It Be the Same?

Chapter 1: What happened? (Lucifer x Reader)

I’m providing the first chapter to see how you all would feel about it. A sneak peek if you will. If you decide that you want to read more chapters, then the link will be provided at the end of this chapter. 😋

Enjoy my lovelies!~~😍🤩

Summary: Ella is your best friends since you were children, never went apart until you encouraged her to move to LA. You guys haven't seen each other for two years until Ella tried to get in touch with you.

You somehow disappeared and was worried sick. Once you were found and better, Ella promised to make sure you never have to suffer in silence alone. Making you move in with her, and now you are gonna be working with her.

The thing is she never told her friends at work anything about you. She was waiting until you got better and moved in with her, but a rich playboy with devilish charms took the pleasure of meeting you first.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What do you mean you don’t know where she is!” Ella began panicking in her lab alone. She couldn’t even concentrate on her work that Decker needed.

“I’m sorry sis. Our family has been looking around the block and her home. There was no trace of anything. Her phone was left behind along with her wallet. She's gone.” Her brother sighed over the phone. His voice seemed tired and guilty. Ella can’t blame him for trying. Ella put the phone away from her ear to calm her breathing and tears.

“Okay. Thank you so much, and tell everyone that I love them. I’ll take it from here.” Ella hung up the phone and placed it on the table. She covered her face and hunched over the table with her elbows on it. She prayed that you were alive and well. Nothing scared her more than losing a long life friend that was basically her sister.

“Are you okay?” A familiar voice asked. Ella gasped and quickly put her head up, showing her teary eyes threatening to fall.

“Ray-Ray?” Ella was shocked to see her ghost friend all of the sudden. “W-What are you doing here?” Ella turned around and used her shirt to wipe away the tears that were about to shed. Ray’s face turned concerned and took a step closer to put a hand on her shoulder.

“I was gonna visit you to see how you were doing, and it looks like I came at the right time. What’s up with you?” Ray asks her and Ella looks up at her and tries to keep her composure.

“(Y/n) disappeared, or more like kidnapped. I don’t know but something isn’t right and I’m so worried about her. I knew I shouldn’t have left her behind. I’ve been gone for two years and this happens.” Ella’s voice was broken and it made the secret angel sad as well. You were also a big part of her life and it was thanks to you that Ella finally left her corrupt family. You couldn’t even see or hear her, but it’s like you agreed to her opinion on the spot. If Ella couldn’t listen to her at the time, then she would listen to you. She even thought about letting you see her so that it can be the three of you.

“Ella let’s calm down. We don’t know how she disappeared but we both know that she’s a good ass kicker. If anyone could get out of tough situations it would be her.” Ray reassured her while rubbing her arm.

“That’s not gonna stop me from worrying. Can you find her? You're a ghost and maybe you can talk to some other spirits about where she’s been or something. Please..” Ella begged and held Ray’s hand tightly. It broke her angel heart to see a cheerful human so broken. She’s gonna find you one way or another, but she knows she can’t do it alone.

“I’ll go look for her, just keep calm and try not to break down in front of everyone. When I see her I’ll come back with an update. I promise that she’s gonna be alright Ella.” Ray calmly tells her with seriousness. Ella looks up at her ‘ghost’ friend, surprised but calmed down.

“Thank you Ray-Ray.” Ella hugs Ray, surprising the angel guardian and a small smile tugs at her lips.

“No problem Els.” Ray hugs her back and smiles at her human friend.

__________________________

“Uh Els?” Ray appeared behind her with a nervous smile. Ella turned around quickly by the sound of Ray’s voice. She hasn’t seen her in six months and it was almost driving her crazy worried.

“Did you find her?!” Ella got close to her with so much hope in her eyes.

“Yea I found her and she’s alive but..” Ray fidgeted a bit and Ella’s face turned concerned. “She’s in a critical condition physically..the doctor says that she’ll be fine once she’s healed but her traumatic experience might change her mentally.” Ella puts both hands on her face and tries to hold back a sob. Ella’s reaction made Ray comfort her the best she could to see the good side of things.

“B-But! She won’t go crazy as in asylum crazy. She just won’t be as positive as she was before, and you remember how she was when she first met you. Once (Y/n) sees you again she will be back into her old self in no time.” Ray tries to give her reassurance and hope the best way she can on the spot. Ella sniffs and wipes her tears away, and composes herself.

“So who did this? And how did you get her into the hospital?” Ella’s face turned so serious that it could even make Ray’s devilish brother nervous.

“I was actually lucky to give a ‘ghost’ signal to your friend Maze. She helped out with everything and she’s even coming with one of the culprits as we speak. I honestly don’t know who did this to her. There were so many people involved..it was horrible. It’s best if (Y/n) tells you when she’s all better.” Ray explains her heartbroken friend. For the first time in six months, Ella gave a sigh of relief and a light hearted smile.

“Thank you so much Ray-Ray. I don’t know what I would do without you. You're such a good friend.” Ella hugs her again and Ray happily gives one back, finally relieved that (Y/n) is alive and hopefully gets better. Ray looks through the window and sees Lucifer with Chloe coming in closer to the lab.

“You got company, I gotta go. Bye Els!” Ray quickly disappears in front of her without giving her a chance to say goodbye.

“Well hello Miss Lopez- are you alright?” Lucifer stops in his tracks along with Chloe. Ella’s eyes were still red and the tears made a mark on her cheeks.

“Oh! Don’t worry these are happy tears. I recently solved some personal problems. What’s up?” Ella went back to her happy cheerful self while the two duo looked confused and concerned.

“W-well, we only came back to see if you found anything on the case-Are you sure you're okay? You know you can talk to me about anything.” Decker tried to take her case seriously but it became difficult if her optimistic friend suddenly had puffy eyes and tear stains.

“Come on now, who do I have to punish? Is it an ex?” Lucifer grins and Chloe rolls her eyes.

“I wish it was an ex. Guys I’m serious, I’m happy. You're so sweet to worry about me but things are actually turning around for the better. Come here, I got something for the case.” Ella reassured them with a genuine smile and went to the table. Lucifer and Decker looked at each other and back to Ella. They both know that there’s something strange that happened but they know better than to push. Even the devil himself will back off...for now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maze came strolling in the precinct with a smirk on her face. She dragged a guy who’s in a lot of trouble and will get her an amazing amount of cash. This guy is despicable and everyone of the detectives need to interrogate him for their cases. Yea he’s that deep into trouble. The guy keeps groaning in pain and calls for help to any of these officers. Maze pushed him onto the floor and placed her feet on top of his chest.

“Well Mazikeen, had a fun time hunting I see.” Lucifer walked away from Deckers desk towards the demon. Maze looked like a mess as well, but she didn’t care as long as the cash was good.

“This guy is one of my best work. He really kept things entertaining.” Maze smirks at the demon and ties his hands together.

“One of your best work? My, now I have to know what this man has done.” Lucifer looks intrigued at the man. There weren’t many criminals that made Maze so distraught and pleased.

“Is that Loy Huddson?” Chloe gets up to take a closer look at the man on the floor.

“Yeah, what about it?” Maze raises an eyebrow at her.

“He’s on our list for most wanted, the third one on the list. Everyone’s been looking for him everywhere. Maze how did you find him?” Chloe looks at her in bewilderment.

“I just had a hunch, a demon’s gotta keep her secrets too Decker.” Maze grins at Chloe and brings the man to his knees. “Now, how much do I get for this one?”

“You get about $500,000..” Chloe still looks shocked and Lucifer grins and applauds his demon.

“Well done Maze.” Lucifer observes as the officers take the man away and give Maze an envelope that holds the check for the money.

“Since the fun is over I’m gonna go put this baby in my card. First two rounds are on me tonight Decker.” Maze grins and walks away with the check.

“I’m not going out on a girls night out tonight!” Chloe tries to tell her from the distance.

“Great I’ll meet you there!” Maze gave a mischief grin while leaving.

“Looks you have a night off Detective.” Lucifer smiles at the workaholic woman.

“You had something to do with this.” Chloe crossed her arms in front of her chest and glared at the devil.

“Most definitely, come on now detective, we can’t keep these punishments waiting.” Lucifer starts walking out of the precinct despite Chloe’s protest the night off and lectures about the punishment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A taxi cab stops by infront an apartment building and Ella stands there with excitement and anticipation. She’s been waiting six more months to finally see her friend. Ella has left LA for a week to see you in the hospital during the last six months but she can’t help but jump a bit knowing that you're moving in with her. She promised herself that she will be there for you no matter what, and this time you won’t suffer alone in silence. Ella squealed and ran to the taxi cab, opening the door to pull you out of it and hug you so tight.

“Whoa Ella! Jumping me already?” You laughed and hugged her back just as tightly. You were just happy to be back, even more happier that you're gonna be living with you life long friend.

“I just couldn’t wait, oh! I’m taking you with me to my job in three hours to show you how things work around there.” Ella let’s go with one arm to check her watch.

“Looks like I missed a year of work.” You chuckled and Ella lets go of you and gives you her brightest smile.

“Don’t sweat it, I had my brother mail all of your things over and I saved up some money to put in your card. You only had $300 in it.” Ella smiled proudly as if she was right on schedule. Your face softened and hugged her again.

“Oh Ella you didn’t have to put money in my card, I could’ve made my own money.” You pulled away from the hug and she handed you your wallet and phone.

“Nah, I wanted to give you a boost on your new life, if things are gonna be different I want it to be a good different.” Ella smiled and you swear you couldn’t understand how you deserved an amazing friend.

“Thank you Ella, this means a lot.” You smiled and carried the duffle bag with you while following her inside the apartment.

The apartment seemed comfortable and with the amount of money she gains, she’s really more of a simple person. Others would’ve gone crazy with it. It’s beautiful and full of life, just like her, which made you smile.

“So how do you like the crib?” Ella gestures to the whole apartment with a proud smile.

“It’s perfect Els.” You giggled and followed her to your room. You placed your duffle bag on your bed and sat on the soft and comfortable mattress.

“I’m gonna go take a shower. Wanna go cruise around for a while and get something to eat?” Ella smiled at your relaxed body gesture. Maybe Ray-Ray is right, things could go back to normal.

“Yea sure, I’m gonna take a short nap so wake me up when you're done.” You smiled at her and laid on your bed comfortably.

“Alrighty, I’ll be back for you miss.” Ella winks at you and leaves the room. She closes the door on the way out and you smile to yourself. Things will get better. You closed your eyes and went to sleep. You were so sleepy that you haven’t noticed someone knocking on the door.

“Ms.Lopez? Are you in there?” Lucifer tries to be patient but his situation is just eating him. He easily picked the lock and went inside. He looks around her new apartment and looks at the picture on the shelf. It was a picture of Ella and another woman he’s never seen before. She hasn’t mentioned anyone other than her family.

“Keeping secrets?” Lucifer puts the picture back and proceeds into the hallway. He opens the first door he sees and sees a woman asleep on the bed. The same woman in the photo.

“Well hello, I wonder what makes you more special than her family.” Lucifer steps closer to her, making sure not to wake her up. He see’s how peaceful she looks while she’s dreaming. He gets closer to her and kneels down in front of her. Observing her face and body gesture, something seems to make him drawn to her. Her head moves slightly making her hair move to each side, showing the back of her neck. There's a weird mark on it and Lucifer frowns lightly at it. Lifting his finger to gently graze behind her neck. “What is your story, darling?” He whispers gently to her as if she’s listening.

“Lucifer what are you doing?” Ella was at the doorway with her arms across her chest with a disappointed look. Lucifer quickly stands up and turns around towards Ella.

“I’ve tried knocking but this is important.” He tries to explain and turns to you then back at Ella. “But I have to say Ms. Lopez, I’ve always thought you were an open book.” Lucifer grins and Ella grabs his arm to pull him in the living room.

“Her name is (Y/n).She’s a long life friend, basically like a sister to me. I was gonna introduce you guys to her in two hours. Now, what is it that’s so important?” Ella sighed and looked at the trouble maker impatiently.

“The detective has been really snappy with me lately. Don’t get me wrong, I love her snappy side on the occasion but this seems different. You see, I’ve done nothing wrong and I was wondering if you can help me.” Lucifer smooths his suit and sits on the couch. The optimistic scientist can’t help but feel bad for her troublesome friend. The truth is that if he wasn’t interested in Chloe then he would’ve introduced you to him. Ella hasn’t been able to talk to Chloe about her problems with Lucifer.

“I can see what’s going on, but try not to break into my place again dude. I have company now and God knows she’s a hell of a fighter.” Ella grins about your reaction if Lucifer got to wake you up.

“Not again with his name.” Lucifer sighed and leaned back on the couch.

“Hey Ella, are we leaving now-” You stopped right in your tracks when you saw a guest on the couch. “Oh, I didn’t know you had company, do you need a moment.” You looked back at her and the stranger.

“No, this is actually one of the people you're gonna see at the precinct, he’s-” Ella was interrupted when Lucifer stood from the couch and walked towards you.

“Lucifer Morningstar, darling. Nice to meet you, (Y/n) correct?” Lucifer gently holds your hand and kisses it gently. You raise an eyebrow and pull your hand away.

“Yeah it is. Nice to meet you Mr.Morningstar.” You said politely, you couldn’t help but feel that this guy is trouble.

“Great! Since you both met, I wanna take (Y/n) out for lunch before I get to show her the precinct. Lucifer you should get going, I know there's a case wanting to be solved.” Ella went by your side and linked her arms with yours, dragging you to the front door.

“Nonsense, I’ll join, the detective can wait a little longer.” Lucifer smiles and tries to follow the both of you. Right when Ella was gonna open her car door, her phone rings. She sees that it was Chloe calling her and accepts it.

“Decker?” Ella was confused since her shift hasn’t started yet. Lucifer hear’s this and tries to listen in but Ella waves him off. “Oh wow, okay I’ll be there.” She hangs up the phone and sighs.

“Well? What happened?” Lucifer asked, waiting for Ella to explain.

“Chloe needs me at the lab, it’s an emergency so I have to be there straight away. Looks like there's no lunch, sorry (Y/n).” Ella gave you an apologetic look.

“It’s fi-” “I can take her.” Lucifer interrupts you and smiles at your best friend.

“I-I don’t know Lucifer, she just met you. It’s better if she comes with me.” Ella looked really hesitant about it. She didn’t want to leave you alone to someone you just met but she doesn’t want to keep you hungry.

“And have her starve? I believe you have better manners than that Ms.Lopez.” Lucifer playfully lectures her. Ella looks at you for a response and you just smiled reassuringly at her.

“I’ll be fine Ella, just focus on your work, I’ll bring you your lunch, okay?” You smiled at your friend and she smiles back at you.

“Okay, okay. Call me if there’s a problem or text me. Make sure you stay with Lucifer at all times and you better not lose sight of her.” Ella points at Lucifer in a scolding way and you tried not to laugh.

“I never lose sight of women, one of my special traits.” Lucifer puts both of his hands up.

“Alright mom we get it.” You put her hand down and hugged her close. Once you parted, Lucifer guided you into his car which surprised you. You were kinda expecting a Lamborghini with the way he looks rich. This car was actually really classy. Lucifer opens the door like a gentleman and you sit in the passenger's seat. When you got inside, Ella passed the car with hers and waved at you.

“Have fun! You know what I want. Love you!” Ella blows a kiss at you and leaves the parking lot. You laughed at her declaration through the parking lot. Lucifer gets in the driver's seat and starts the car. The engine turns on and the vibration of the car has traveled to your body, making you blush a little.

“Where would you like to go (Y/n)? Fast food I presume? I know one that’s close by.” Lucifer asks and you look at him with a genuine smile.

“Yeah, the sooner I get to Ella the less she’s gonna fuss over me.” You look back at the road and relax while feeling the wind through your hair.

“Perfect.” Lucifer grins and speeds up a little bit more. He couldn’t help but feel relaxed with you. It’s like some type of aurora you give him. He should be feeling excited to learn more about you and your private life. Looking for answers as to why Ella has hidden you for so long. Hell, even wanting to know your deepest desire. Yet all he wants to do now is relax.

‘Not even the detective can make me feel that way.’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SOOoooooo... How was that? Did it make you want more? Well then!~

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#lucifer x y/n #lucifer x reader #lucifer fanfiction #lucifer morningstar #mazikeen #linda martin #chloe decker #amenadiel #archive of our own #dan espinoza #ella lopez #azrael #fluff

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justanother-unluckysoul · 4 years

Text

Working My Way Back To You 10/11

Killian gets captured. When Emma finally rescues him, he’s traumatized and nearly broken from the torture he endured. Thankfully Emma is close at hand to help him through it.

Heavy on the hurt/comfort, with some whump because I couldn't help myself lol

A/N: Some fluffy comfort for the prompts “hugs” and “kisses.” Short and (hopefully) sweet! We are almost at the end of this story, just a quick epilogue to go. I can’t believe it! Thank you, all my lovely readers, for giving my little story so much support! Epilogue will be up early next week. It’s all finished so there’s no point in making you wait a whole week for it.

Warnings for this chapter: brief and vague mention of rape (though i’m sure if you’re still reading this story you don’t mind that)

Unbetad as always so mistakes are all mine.

Tagging @cocohook38 as requested.

Read this chapter on AO3

Working My Way Back To You

Hugs + Kisses

After their wonderful time together in the forest, the complete bliss and contentment Killian felt while cuddling with Emma under the blankets lingers for some time. He makes the most of his rediscovered confidence with her at night, making love until they are both exhausted and sated (and gods he missed this; the feel of her around him, the expression on her face when he begins to thrust into her, and the way she can take him apart and put him back together so easily, leaving him worn out and absolutely satisfied). And Killian assumes – he hopes – that his mind has finally given up on tormenting him with the memories of his torture. Perhaps he’s even cured of that PTSD thing. He’s certainly less jumpy now, less prone to startling and he hasn’t had a nightmare in a while. His broken hand has healed – Stacy’s not-so-gentle methods have helped return the strength to it, so Killian is able to spend some more time on the Jolly Roger with Henry, properly preparing the ship for a much-needed day out on the water.

“A family outing?” Emma asks with a smile.

Killian’s heart soars and his stomach does a strange sort of flip at her casual use of the word family in this context. He doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to it.

“Aye, we’ll take her out far enough that it’s just us and the sea,” he says.

Henry is practically bouncing up and down in excitement as they make their plans. It’s been too long since they’ve done this. Emma checks the weather forecast and they schedule a sailing day. Killian tries to conceal the fact that he’s just as excited about it as Henry is, but the way Emma’s smirking at him in that way makes him think he’s not doing a good job of doing so. So he gives up on hiding it at all. It doesn’t matter anyway, because they both already know how much he loves sailing his ship. There’s just something about being on the water that is both exhilarating and calming. And to be out there with Emma and Henry? Even better.

-\-

A few nights before their planned outing, Killian’s nightmares return. And it’s as bad as ever. He’s not sure what triggered it, but it’s nasty combination of what was and what could have been, and he’s vaguely aware that he’s dreaming but he can’t seem to wake up. He tries to call out to Emma so she can help him. The words stick in his throat. He can’t move. His captor has Pan’s face, which seems wrong because Killian knows this setting isn’t Neverland, but he doesn’t have time to contemplate that because Pan is grinning evilly and pushing him back against the wall, and Killian knows what will happen next.

“This isn’t real,” Killian tells himself, desperately trying to wake up. His voice trembles and breaks.

“Are you sure about that, Killian?” asks Pan, his childlike voice sickeningly sweet in Killian’s ear, too close, too much, “Does this not feel real to you?”

Killian’s breath catches in barely concealed dread, gooseflesh breaking out across his skin at Pan’s unwanted touch. And it does feel real, terribly so, and Killian wants to fight, wants to resist, wants to wake the hell up, but his limbs stubbornly ignore his commands. He squeezes his eyes closed tight instead and braces himself for what’s coming, but then Pan is Rumpelstiltskin, and Killian’s on the Jolly Roger, lashed to the mast with ropes that are squeezing the breath from his lungs. The crocodile cackles at him, holding Killian’s heart in his hand.

“No,” Killian whispers, “Please.”

“Reduced to begging so soon, Captain? I thought you were stronger than that.” His hand tightens around Killian’s heart, the agony of it blacking out everything but the crocodile’s next taunt. “But it seems you are a coward after all.”

When the pain in his chest abates Killian finds himself back in the cellar, bent over a table, trying to support himself on his elbows because his hook is gone and his hand is broken and everything hurts and his captors are laughing and he can barely keep his feet from the rough thrusts of the man behind him. Tears roll down Killian’s cheeks but that’s wrong, he didn’t cry, he wouldn’t…

Killian, wake up.

The fingers on his skin feel different suddenly, skittering light and gentle across his forehead and dragging a little heavier across his chest and now that is real. Movement returns to his frozen limbs in a rush. And then he’s falling, and the landing is hard, rattling his bones, and he’s nearly choking on his own breaths in his panic as his stomach strongly suggests it might like to purge itself. He’s shaking violently, his skin crawling, and it’s so bloody dark he can’t orient himself.

“Sorry, sorry, I’m- Damn it. Killian, are you okay?” Emma.

At least he assumes it’s Emma, and not another trick of his mind. He is awake now, right? Emma switches on the light while Killian’s swallowing against the nausea between his ragged gasps, knees pulled up to his chest and his arms wrapped around himself, rocking slowly back and forth, trying to calm down – the way his body is trembling, he doubts he has the strength to get to the bathroom in time if his gut really rebels. The sudden brightness burns his eyes but he doesn’t dare close them lest he find himself back in the dreamscape.

“Hey, it’s okay, Killian, you’re safe,” Emma says, and she slowly kneels on the bedroom floor in front of him and doesn’t touch him, “I’m right here.”

“S-swan.” He meant sorry, but her name is apparently the only word he’s capable of saying right now.

He forces himself to reach out and lay his hand on her arm, just to reassure himself that he’s actually awake. That she’s really here. That he’s not alone.

“I’m here,” she repeats, “Let me help you, Killian.”

She always moves slowly when he’s like this, waits for his permission to touch, always careful not to startle him and scared she’ll make things worse. But Killian’s teeth chatter when he tries to speak, so he clenches his jaw and nods instead. With careful, deliberate movements Emma shuffles closer and lifts her hands to his cheeks. His face is wet. It seems he had been crying in the real world too.

“That’s it. You’re okay. I’ve got you.”

She wipes the tears away gently as Killian sniffles and swallows and tries to pull himself together.

“Do we need to move to the bathroom?” she asks softly, knowing him so well.

But thankfully, the rolling of his stomach has begun to settle, and he’s quite certain he will not actually vomit. Not this time. He shakes his head, shifts his legs to a more comfortable position away from his chest and runs his unsteady hand through his hair.

“M-my apologies,” he mumbles, embarrassed by his reaction, “I’m…” He swallows hard. “I didn’t…”

Gathering the correct words and ordering them out of his mouth is a challenge, and he decides to give up on it for the moment. Bloody hell, he is pathetic. It’s been a while since his nightmares were this intense. At least this time it seems he’ll be able to find calm before his panicking turns into an actual attack, his breaths already starting to slow down as Emma moves closer to hug him.

“Shhh. You have nothing to apologize for.”

“I w-woke you,” Killian points out.

He’s clinging onto Emma now, curled close against her with his head on her shoulder, and even with how ashamed he feels for this blatant show of weakness, he can’t bring himself to let go. She’s rubbing his back soothingly, cradling his head against her, her embrace comforting him, pushing away the remnants of his dream.

“Yeah, you did,” she says softly, “But it’s okay, I don’t mind. I just wish I’d woken up sooner, really. I tried to wake you up, but I guess I was a bit late. That was a bad one, huh?”

There is no point in lying to her.

“Aye.”

He takes a deep, shuddering breath. His heart is still beating too fast, his throat dry from his gasping.

“Do you want some water?” Emma asks, as if she can hear his thoughts, “I can just… magic a glass up here. We won’t have to move.”

“That would b-be nice.”

Emma moves one hand off him to use her magic and momentarily she’s holding a glass of water, which she carefully passes to Killian. His hand trembles a little, but he’s able to bring it to his lips and quench his thirst without spilling any.

“Feeling better?”

Killian nods.

“Thank you, love. But perhaps…” He winces at the thought but presses on anyway. “Perhaps I should sleep on the couch for a while. So I don’t disturb your rest again.”

“Absolutely not,” Emma says, a bit severely, though still hushed so she doesn’t wake Henry who is sleeping in his room just down the hall, “I’m not letting you deal with these nightmares on your own.”

Killian pretends he’s not relieved about that.

“Now, let’s get back into bed, okay?”

“Okay.”

They untangle from each other and climb back into the bed, where Killian immediately pulls Emma close again to keep his anxiety at bay. The light is still on, and that helps too. He hopes Emma won’t turn it off yet.

“You okay?” she murmurs, settling with her head on his shoulder and her hand over his heart.

“I just…” Killian sighs deeply, his frustration coming to the forefront now that he’s less frightened. “I hate this. I hate that I can’t… I can’t move past it. It’s been months, Emma.”

He doesn’t know why it affected him so much – Archie said it’s likely a culmination of the burden of unresolved trauma he’s been through in the past, this most recent simply one too much for his mind to handle. And that’s also why his nightmares often included such old events along with the new. Pan and Rumpelstiltskin featured tonight, but sometimes Hades makes an appearance, mutilating him with his own hook and threatening to drop him in that accursed river.

“You are doing better though. This is the first time you’ve had a nightmare in a while. And the flashbacks aren’t happening very often anymore either, are they?”

“No, they’re not. But it’s not good enough,” Killian says bitterly, and the disgust he feels for his continued cowardice is so strong it could drown him. I’m not good enough.

He should be the one protecting Emma, comforting her, not the other way around all the bloody time. He’s so tired of it. He can feel himself retreating, if not physically then at least in his mind, the terrible weight of not good enough pulling him down, down, down…

“Hey, stop it.” Emma props herself on her elbow so she can plant the softest of kisses on the furrow between his brows, pulling him back to himself and to her. “You’re healing. It’s a process.”

His hand may be healed now, only the scars remaining that will fade even further with time, but at times like this Killian fears his mind may be beyond repair, despite the assurances from both Emma and from Archie that he’s healing. But Emma continues to pull him out of his morbid thoughts, kissing the scar on his cheek next.

“I never want you to think you aren’t good enough, Killian,” because of course she heard the true meaning behind his words, and there’s a feather-light kiss for a faint line of scarring on his shoulder, his eyes fluttering shut and his lips parting on a quiet gasp, “You’ve been through…” Emma’s lips find another old injury. “…so much. You just need some time.”

Killian thinks this would probably be arousing if it wasn’t so soothing. He can feel how much love she has for him – she’s pouring it into every touch, every word, every press of her lips. Perhaps she’s using a little of her magic to do it, or perhaps it’s simply because he’s still fragile from his nightmare, but the sensation is powerful and wonderful, his very nerves seeming to hum happily under his skin in response.

“Emma.” It’s little more than a helpless whimper. Desperate. Though for what, he can’t be certain. It’s not that he wants her to stop. “What are you doing to me?”

“Loving you,” Emma says, in a voice that means he has no choice but to lie back and take it, “Now sshh, I’m not finished.” She curls her fingers gently but firmly around his bicep, anchoring him in place.

She’s slowly kissing a path across the scars on his body between sentences, the knots and lines and hollows that map out a lifetime of surviving, too many lifetimes really. Her tender affections feel like they’re filling a void inside his soul with warmth and love and it’s almost too much to handle. All he can do is keep his eyes closed and wrap his arm around Emma’s waist as she continues.

“You take all the time you need to heal, and I’ll be with you all the way,” she takes his left arm in her gentle hand, and he knows where she’s going next, “However long this takes. However many bad days, or nights, that you have. You just need to…” Her lips brush against his sensitive inner wrist, just beside the ugly and numb scar tissue that covers the blunted end of it. “…to let me help you. I love you, Killian. Please, don’t pull away from me.”

“I won’t,” his voice breaks, and if she doesn’t stop smothering him with all this kindness soon, he’s going to start crying. Again. “I promise I won’t. Emma, I…”

She moves and takes his right hand from around her waist and softly kisses the scars on his fingers and across the back of his hand, and there’s a feeling of all the broken pieces of him being drawn together, sharp edges smoothed over by Emma’s love and it’s too much. A tear slips from under Killian’s lashes and his breath shudders, his heightened emotions too intense to be contained any longer.

“I love you,” he breathes, looking up to see Emma’s own eyes glassy with tears as well.

“I know.” She smiles down at him, raw and open and honest as her thumb brushes the tear from his face. “And I mean what I said. I’m with you, Killian.”

Her next and final kiss is granted to his lips, and she takes her time there, her palm resting against his cheek while his fingers tangle in her hair, allowing him to reciprocate before she settles down into his arms again, and Killian wants to stay in this moment forever. Comfortable and safe, basking in the wonderful feeling of being so wholly loved. How does his Swan always know what he needs?

“What have I done to deserve you, Emma?” he asks once he’s regained control of his emotions.

“What have I done to deserve you?” she counters.

He smiles, and lets the silence stretch on, his limbs feeling heavy and his thoughts turning sluggish as sleep pulls him away. It almost claims him, his eyes closed and his breathing even, when the light he could still just barely see behind closed lids suddenly goes out and he startles, eyes flying open as he pulls himself back to reality with a jolt. He’d turned over onto his side in his almost-sleep, and now Emma’s pressed against his back with her arm around his torso, squeezing a little tighter to combat his flinch. She’s switched the light off, he realizes, plunging the room back into darkness.

“Sorry, I thought you’d gone back to sleep,” she whispers, “Is it too dark?” She doesn’t wait for his response. “Hang on a second, I’ve got an idea.”

She moves her hand, a casual flick of her wrist in a way that Killian recognizes – so at ease with using magic these days – and the curtains glide open, letting the nearly full moon cast its light into the room. The tension flows out of him almost instantly, coaxed away by pleasant memories of nights aboard the Jolly Roger with the bright moon shining through the windows of his quarters.

“Better?”

“Aye, that’s perfect. Thank you.”

He can’t find the words to convey just how thankful he is for her, for everything she does for him. He hopes she knows. She probably does. She’s quite perceptive, he thinks with a smile. He closes his eyes again and sleep finds him quickly. When he dreams again, it’s of the sea, and of Emma, and of the moon shining down upon the deck of the Jolly Roger where they’re lying entwined in peaceful respite.

#comfortember 2020 #cs ff #cs fic #hurt/comfort #nightmares #killian jones #emma swan #captain swan #my fanfics

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