#hopeless lesbians in love but can’t express it

[onekattoruletheworld]

So when are we going to get Eloise and Cressida standing on opposite sides of the dance floor as a string quartet version of Red Wine Supernova by Chappell Roan and then zoom in on them hopelessly staring at each other

[strawberryspence]

Eddie’s never been in a serious relationship. He’s used to kissing in the dark alleys of a bar, murmured lies underneath bleachers. He was never the one to be shown off, to be proud off and celebrated. No matter how much he yearned for it, he was never meant to be that person. 

Not until he meets Steve Harrington. And god, to be loved by him really makes Eddie rethink all of his preconceived opinions. Maybe Eddie is serious relationship material. 

But Steve… Steve’s a hopeless romantic. He gets him a set of D&D dices just because he thought Eddie would love them. Opens the door for him, opens the car for him. Tries to learn his hobbies, learns to like it. The first time they slept together, Eddie woke up with breakfast in bed. Which was fucking ridiculous because Steve should be the one waking up with breakfast in bed. He buys Eddie flowers for every date, even though Eddie teases him for it. 

And Eddie— Eddie’s a newbie in this. He’s been trying his best to catch up in the romance department. He resolves to do something when Steve got him some tulips for a date once and Eddie brought it up. 

“I love it, Stevie. It’s so nice to get flowers, hmmm?” Eddie smiles, a little bit dazed with affection as he smells the flower. 

Eddie would like to think he knows Steve’s expressions pretty well. So when he sees that beautiful smile drop from his boyfriend’s face, it all clicks for Eddie.

Steve Harrington has never gotten flowers. 

Eddie starts with those flowers in Melvald’s. Joyce has very nicely informed him that they are called Gerberas. Eddie got Steve a bunch of different colors. It’s not that big, just a small bundle. He didn’t want to over do it, just wanted to test the waters. Find out how his boyfriend feels about getting flowers.

It’s embarrassing walking with a bunch of flowers, with his whole metal thing but all of that vanishes when Eddie picks Steve up for a date and he sees the flowers in Eddie’s hands. 

“What’s that for?” Steve looks at the flowers warily. 

Eddie smiles, trying to hide the nerves he’s been feeling since he got the flowers, “For you, sunshine. They reminded me of you so I got them.” 

Like everything else he’s offered Steve— his friendship, his life, his heart— Eddie holds out his hand with just enough courage.

Steve takes the flowers with reluctance, staring at it with fondness and some other emotion Eddie can’t pinpoint. 

They sit in silence for a minute, as Steve just stares and as Eddie just stands with his nerves. Eddie opens his mouth to take it back, and to just swallow the embarrassment. Maybe flowers just ain’t for everyone. 

But then, Steve starts tearing up, sniffling a little, as he blinks at Eddie, “I love it, baby. It’s beautiful. Thank you.” 

Eddie stares in shock as his boyfriend runs back into the house to put it in a vase. Steve’s eyes are still red around the rims when he finally comes out, his nose scrunched up from the sniffling. 

Eddie doesn’t bring it up, he knows Steve won’t want to talk about it. But if they’re a little clingy with each other in the coming days, who’s gonna be mad? 

Since then, Eddie’s made it his life mission to get Steve flowers on the randomest days. He’ll get Steve some sunflowers on bad days, maybe pick him some daisies from the field for when Steve picks the kids up from Hellfire.

Till to this day, Steve gets a little teary eyed when Eddie gets him a random flower. It melts Eddie’s heart into a goo, that this simple action makes his boyfriend tear up with joy. He thinks, in a few more weeks, he’ll garner enough courage to buy flowers and just tell Steve that he loves him. 

It goes on for a few weeks before it comes to a halting stop one random summer day. Steve’s car had to go into the shop for maintenance, so Eddie picked him up and dropped him off to work. When he’s about to pick him up, Eddie goes and picks up some carnations Joyce had reserved for him.  

“Hello, to my favorite lesbian.” Eddie greets when he enters the Family Video store, only seeing Robin at the counter. He closes the doors behind him, flipping the sign from open to close.

“Hello to you too, my favorite gay.” Robin lights up, throwing away the magazine she’s reading. 

“I am here to pick you and the majesty.” Eddie dramatically bows, the flowers still in his hand.

Robin laughs, making grabby hands at him, “You could’ve just picked us up. No need for flowers, you know?” 

Eddie laughs. Whoops, maybe he should’ve gotten something for Robin too. “I am sorry, Robin. This ones for my Stevie. I’ll get you something next time.” 

Robin stares at him, blinking in surprise, “Those flowers are for Steve?” 

Eddie nods enthusiastically. 

“Steve? Our Steve?” 

Eddie squints at her, “Do we have any other Steve?” 

“Our Steve… who is… very much allergic to flowers?”

Eddie blinks at her with owlish eyes. 

“No, he’s not!” He exclaims. 

Robin looks at him, and back to the flowers, then back to him again. She gets this look on her face, like she holds the key to the universe. If Eddie squints really hard, he can see the bulb lighting on her head. 

But then she bursts out of laughter. Bend to your knees, hitting the floor, aching ribs kind of laughter. 

Okay, Eddie’s kinda offended now. 

“What’s so funny?” Eddie asks, unable to hide his frown. 

“What’s happening?” Steve comes out from the backroom, confused with Robin’s laughter. “Oh, hey Eds!” 

Robin turns to him, pointing and red on the face with laughter,  “Oh my god. Steve— you’re freaking whipped!” 

“What?” Steve turns to her with confusion. 

Eddie and Steve just stare at her as she takes her time to calm down. 

“I thought…” Robin takes a breath, “I thought you were having a very extreme allergic reaction to spring. I was this close to booking you an appointment with the doctor! You didn’t tell me you were getting flowers from Eddie.” 

Eddie turns to his boyfriend, “Stevie? Are you allergic to flowers?” 

“No!” Steve exclaims. He grabs the flowers out of Eddie’s hands, “See! I am fine!” 

“Steve.” Robin warns.

“I am fine! I love getting flowers from you, Eds. It’s— it’s the best.” 

They stare at each other. Steve squints, his nose scrunching up when he gets a whiff of the flowers. 

“Achoo!” 

“You are allergic!” Eddie exclaims, points an accusing finger at him. 

“I am sorry!” Steve says, his eyes watering again. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?! What kind of boyfriend am I?” Eddie pulls on his hair in frustration, bringing it into his mouth, “Jesus! I was giving you so many flowers! You must’ve felt awful! How could I have not seen that?!” 

“Eddie—“ Steve moves closer. 

“I thought you were crying with joy when I gave you flowers. It was allergies! Why didn't you tell me?!”

“Oh my god!” Robin shouts, making both of them freeze. She turns to Steve, “Steve! Why didn't you tell your boyfriend you were allergic? That’s dumb and made you sick!” 

She then turns to Eddie, “And Eddie! Steve's extremely, insanely, in love with you to the point that he’ll accept the flowers from you! It’s nothing against you! He wants the flowers, his body doesn’t!” 

Huh? 

“What did you say?” Eddie croaks out, breathless with disbelief. 

“Robin.” Steve gasps. 

Robin rolls her eyes, “I said Steve is extremely—“ She stops, her eyes widening in realization, “Uh-oh. Uhm.” 

She perks up, cupping her ears, “What’s that? Did you guys hear that? I think there’s a raccoon in the backroom. Let me check. You guys stay here.” Robin basically zooms out of the room.  Eddie has never seen her move that fast, and they fought an evil wizard together.

Eddie turns to Steve when they’re finally alone. 

“Give me that.” Eddie says, pulling the flowers away from Steve.

“That’s mine.” Steve pouts. 

“Sunshine, you’re allergic.” Eddie keeps the flowers away from him, tucking it on the table. They stand awkwardly around each other, not knowing what to say. 

“Did you hear—“

“What was Robin—“

Eddie smiles at him, softening when he sees Steve chew on his lips nervously, “You first, Stevie.”

Steve nods, gulping as his eyes finally meet Eddie’s, “I am sorry for not telling you. I really loved the flowers and I honestly thought the medication would be enough. Maybe next time, you can tell me beforehand so I can take some and actually enjoy being around them.” 

“I am never getting you flowers anymore if it gets you all sniffly.” Eddie chuckles at Steve’s headstrong perspective, “So— Uh— About what Robin said…” 

Steve straightens up, stammering to spit the words out, “You don’t have to say anything! I am not forcing you to say anything, Edd. We could forget it even happened. Who even is Robin?” 

Eddie moves closer, pushing Steve in between the aisles of the store where no one from outside can see them. 

“I just want to know if it’s true, Stevie.” Eddie whispers, his own voice quivering with anxiety and anticipation. 

Steve stares at him, sensing his boyfriend’s own worry. The nerves in his face melted into an affectionate smile. 

“Eds, baby. I kept all the flowers you gave me till they died even though it gave me the worst allergies. Of course, I am," He scoffs, "As Robin has said, extremely, insanely, in love with you.” 

Eddie breaks into a smile, “Well, I am also extremely, maybe even more insanely, in love with you. The flowers weren’t exactly fitting my metal image, but I was still out there picking out flowers in the field.” 

Steve rolls his eyes, “Oh, you’re annoying.” 

There’s no more words said after that. Well, because they started making out right there, all the newly found love and emotions all in the open. That in itself is enough for now.

After the night Eddie found out that Steve’s allergic, Eddie calls El up. The next day, El teaches Eddie how to make origami flowers.

Eddie never buys flowers for Steve ever again. 

He makes it for him instead.

(No one tell Steve, but in a few years, Eddie will ask him to unfold the paper flowers. Only to find a question wedged between its stems and folds. Steve says yes to the question, with real tears of joy.

On their wedding day, Steve will walk down another aisle, a bouquet of handmade flowers made from Eddie's hospital discharge papers and NDAs in his hand.)

[lifmera]

hello! I saw you did Hazbin Hotel matchups and thought I’d request one! You’re my first request, and based off of what I’ve seen so far, I’m happy you are :) Take your time and get to me when you can!

I’m 19, my pronouns are She/Her and I’m lesbian. I haven’t been in one yet, but I’d be open to a Polyamorous relationship. I’m a Sagittarius (December 13). I have black, wavy hair that goes to my shoulders. I dress in a grunge style. I LOVE converse high tops, chains, chokers, and black cargo/sweat pants. Depending on how I feel, I wear chunky rings, always silver. I don’t wear much makeup, but if I do, it’s usually just eyeliner and mascara. Sometimes I do some more fancy eyeliner depending on the occasion. I’m 5’3.

I’m the therapist in my friend group. I tend to put their feelings and needs before my own. I don’t really care how I feel as long as I keep the peace. My emotions jump all over the place. Most of the time, I’m quiet and reserved. I can get easily irritated, though, if provoked. I also have severe anxiety. I tend to lean on the pessimistic side, but not always. I’m absolutely horrendous at comforting people in person, but over texts, I’m great at it. I have an extremely dirty mouth, and constantly use it around my friends. I have dark humor, which only some of my friends laugh with me at, so I don’t make jokes too often in case I get silence. I dislike people who judge others at first glance or because of rumors they hear. Honesty and loyalty is a big thing for me. I make jokes about things that bother me. I struggle with talking about my feelings. I can forget to take care of myself at times, especially when I have what I call my “down days”, which is the days I have when everything feels hopeless, and I can’t get out of bed.

My love languages are giving and receiving quality time, acts of service, and words of affirmation.

Music is my absolute best friend. It helps me to express my emotions without them coming out of my own mouth. I love watching and reading horror movies and books, I crochet, and I love sitting out in the rain or going out into the woods. I play both acoustic and electric guitar, and my favorite bands/singers are Mother Mother, Djerv, Ghost, Jack Stauber, and Penelope Scott. I love doing art, mainly rough sketches and traditional art. My favorite games are TLoU and RDR2. I love the shows Arcane League of Legends and Hazbin Hotel (obviously).

Thanks if you get around to me! I hope this is enough :) Have a nice day/night!!

Hi Hun!!

You aswell 🩷

I think Velvette works too.

I’ve decided to pair you up with …. LUTE!

I think when she first saw you she definitely questioned you. Like- “why are u in heaven when you dress like you belong in hell..”

Can she even talk though? Girl…..

Lute tends to keep her emotions under control. But its stressful. Adam can be so annoying…

Lute honestly is also pretty pessimistic- but if she sees her gf being pessimistic? She’d force you into anything you enjoy. She can’t stand seeing you upset. It hurts her heart!

I think she wouldn’t mind though. She never talks much about herself.

She definitely would not care about how much you curse. Adam has probably said worse.

She’d probably like dark jokes. She probably hasn’t heard one before- and snickered when she did.

Lute is HUGE ON HONESTY AND LOYALTY!!!! She will love you forever. 🩷

Honestly Lute would join you on down days. She needs a break. Away from her duties and just everything. She’d want to take care of you though! She cant have you upset!

I think Lute is also big on Quality time. She feels like she doesn’t get enough because she’s constantly working, so she tries to make up for it by buying you gifts!

She definitely loves music too. You would 100% drag her down with you into your music rabbit hole. She’d probably end up humming Ghost all day.

She LOVES when you play the electric guitar. In her head she’d think you are better than Adam- but won’t say it out loud.

She definitely loves that you crochet!! She’d wear whatever you made her. Or maybe any plushies??

I don’t think it rains in heaven, or hell for that matter- but if she went down to earth i think she’d love the patter of rain hitting against the top of the car!!! It’d relax her :)

~~~

I HOPE THIS WAS OKAY?!!

[candygalaxyyy]

And since I’m throwing out ideas for gl pairings I need the SIZZY girls to get their own show!

I would personally like to see CiizeJan and JaneAye, but to be honest it could go whichever way and i would be satisfied. I JUST WANT TO SEE MY GIRLS IN MORE LEADING ROLES AND IN A GL, TOGETHER. Someone get me into gmmtv’s A&R because they are really missing out by not giving these girl a show. THEY COULD LITERALLY MAKE A GIRL GROUP GL LIKE COME ONNNN. Or something else, but I don’t want a school/university one because we are already getting 23.5 (plus tu and prim would fit a university concept better). i have an idea and I’ll just use the ‘actresses names + character’ to make it easier.

Okay so here’s my vision. It could be an office romance thing. Not the GAP, CEO x employee kind, but it’s still an office romance just a weaker power dynamic. So Jan’s character/cht (age 28). Is an editor at a fashion house/magazine within a media company, she’s your typical chic, cold and levelheaded fashion girlie. She went to a top university and has a master’s in marketing, media and e-commerce. She’s hard working and competent, and is striving to one day become the editor in chief of their division. Only child. Online shopping and drinking wine are her favorite pass times. Loves jazz and indie music. Hates any form of physical activity, would much rather binge reruns of her favorite lakorn. Never had much interest in dating or romance so her sexuality is ??? to others (family & friends), but she’s lesbian. And the new employee is Ciize. Ciize’s character (age 23) recently graduated and starts out as an assistant editor, who obviously gets paired with Jan cht, because Jan’s previous assistant quit (Jan’s cht was overbearing). Did international economics + a year abroad. She is bubbly, extroverted, creative and competitive. She loves fashion and is always down for adventure. Ex-football athlete (soccer for Americans) when she was in high school. She is always branching out and trying new things, her goal in life is to one day create her own sustainable clothing brand. She’s smart but a little disorganized, but it’s okay because she just started out (she’s a quick learner though). Youngest of 3, older brother and sister. Loves going to the beach. Strong dislike for spicy food, picky eater. She’s pan and has been in one relationship during uni that ended kinda messy. The perfect grumpy x sunshine couple who grow closer as they work together and start secretly dating at work.

So moving on to JaneAye. Jane’s character (age 28) is a curator at an arts and culture museum. She studied either contemporary art or cross cultural management, or both you know double major. Jane’s character is a very expressive person, she loves cats and is an avid movie watcher (she loves horror & sci-fi). Blunt and doesn’t sugarcoat anything, can’t stand passive aggressive people. To her, family and friends are the most important things, oldest of 5. She’s very diligent and loyal, the most dependable person, if you were caught in a difficult situation she’s the one to call. She has her fair share of experience with relationships, most of them ended badly so she’s more cautious but still a hopeless romantic. Loves movie dates (with friends or partner). Not a fan of PDA or skinship. Openly bisexual, came out when she was 18. Aye’s character (age 24) is talkative, intuitive and easygoing, she doesn’t like confrontation but always ends up in such situations. She is an ambivert, she likes to read people’s vibes and energy before getting close to them. She studied communication arts at a well-known university. Loves outdoor activities and enjoys fitness, but also likes some alone time cooking or reading a book. She’s been an athlete since primary (i.e. middle school), she plays for a woman’s football club now. Also an aspiring actress and is a influencer. Coffee lover. Sensitive to others opinions, people pleaser. She is the middle child. Was comphet and in a hetero relationship before, but is now a baby lesbian. Jane’s cht meets Aye’s cht. At a local supermarket where they had an altercation over something. Of course Aye’s cht was being passive aggressive, while Jane’s character was with all the smoke so they naturally don’t like each other. With the bad first impression they keep bumping into each other in undesirable situations, making them dislike each other even more. Until Aye’s cht is selected as an influencer for an event at Jane’s museum and they have to work together. A classic bad first impression, enemies to lovers, and slow burn romance.

Jan and Jane’s cht are childhood besties, they’re neighbours as their childhood homes are 4 minutes away from each other (walking distance). They have an interesting dynamic, they balance each other out very well. They are kinda like a platonic grumpy x sunshine. They’ve been friends for 20 years and went to the same high school and university. They share the same birth date and year, just different months. Jan���s cht supported and was there for Jane’s cht when she came out to her somewhat conservative parents, she even stayed with Jan’s family for a while. Jane cht is literally the only person who knows that Jan cht is a lesbian. They are platonic soulmates. They both come from a traditional upper-middle class background, Jan cht parents are less conservative and considered more ‘liberal’. Ciize and Aye’s cht were in different high schools and were rivals in the same after-school football club. They stopped being rivals when Ciize’s cht stopped taking football as seriously, so they eventually became casual friends. They went to the same university but were in different faculties and friend groups, so they barely interacted. Ciize’s is from an upper class household. Aye’s cht is from a middle class household. They become closer due to their respective relationships with Jan and Jane’s cht.

I feel like this could be a cute, rom-com fluff series about being a young working woman striving to achieve her hopes and dreams, while navigating friendship and love. Consisting of mild angst and a happy ending. A female studded cast, with little to no male characters that are significant to the romance plot (I could allow 1 (maybe 2 if I’m feeling generous) since gmmtv loves men so much- not including family members or friends). Anyways someone needs to make a novel for them and the people at gmmtv needs to make this happen somehow.

[whatsupspaceman]

What your avatar-sona says about you!!:

The Buried

- you bought a weighted blanket out of curiosity and now you can’t sleep without it

- made potions out random shit in the backyard as a kid

- gotta wear layers!!!

- have eaten an assortment of things you found outside on dares

- as nice as chilling in a soft pile of dirt sounds you still hate elevators and being trapped

The Corruption

- don’t you just want to be fully consumed by what loves you?

- obviously gay for jane prentiss

- thank god you don’t have trypophobia amirite

- touch starved

- traps spiders under a cup and takes them outside

The Dark

- hate the summer, heat, humidity, and wearing shorts

- you’re probably trans

- “hey what if we did actually destroy the sun thou-“

- running through the dark halls after you turn off the light in the basement is kinda exhilarating tbh

- stays up to ungodly hours bc the night is just so much more peaceful

The Desolation

- you’re a lesbian

- you stuck sticks in campfires just to wave them around and see the sparks

- probably got yelled at by an authority figure for literally playing with fire

- you’ve burned yourself cooking so many times because you get cocky and for some reason never wear oven mitts?? you always use random jackets or towels to take shit out of the oven Why.

The End

- grim reaper aesthetic and/or classic goth

- just wants some peace and quiet

- halloween is your favorite holiday

- takes naps whenever anything goes remotely wrong

- introverted, quiet, want to live in a witches cabin in a nice secluded wooden

The Eye

- we get it you’re gay

- you got bullied in middle school and would escape to the library to read books at a voracious pace you haven’t been able to replicate since

- you know so many obscure facts but you have the insecurity that it’s all surface level knowledge and you don’t actually know shit

- gifted child syndrome

The Flesh

- are you ok....

- tired of having a physical form but also put so much effort into your appearance

- idk the flesh kinda grosses me out you’re on your own for this one

The Hunt

- you like archery but you’ve probably only done it like twice

- every once in a while you get the panicked urge to run away and try to make it on your own in the woods bc wouldn’t that be simpler?

- weird kid. definitely pretended you were an animal 6/7 days of the week.

- also probably growled at people you didn’t like. you Probably grew out of this

- camp counselor aesthetic

The Lonely

- :/

- you’re also gay

- please take care of yourself

- you’ve resigned yourself to the fact that you might never be loved and known truly, but you will, once you find the right people. don’t give up!

- *mitski’s nobody on repeat*

- *also write me letters by the hot freaks on repeat*

- you are a tender soul and hopeless romantic but also like. haha is love even real

- once again don’t give up!!!

The Slaughter

- you’re one of those artists that draws either really aesthetic or really cutesy type gore

- you like knives. you own and carry around a switchblade not because you think you might actually Need the protection, but because it makes you feel cooler. also it makes you feel like a threat.

- you like vampires, and fangs, and anime

The Spiral

- flamboyant and trans

- you probably have adhd

- your main motivation is: you know what what if Other people felt like they were on the verge of going crazy for once? huh??

- “i saw this shirt at a store and the colors literally gave me a headache so of course i bought it”

-another really weird kid. you definitely make art and sometimes it’s the only way you can express what’s goin on inside your head

The Stranger

- you don’t know how to describe yourself that’s why you take so many personality quizzes

- *stares in the mirror* who is that other dog. i don’t like them.

- “haha i don’t have a personality i’m just an amalgamation of everything i’ve ever liked and stolen it”

- hush you Do have a personality. clown

The Vast

- you were obsessed with space and astronauts as a kid, obviously.

- you had your first existential crisis about space and the meaning of life and how small we are at a very young age and it changed how you think about the world

- just a little tastey hint of nihilism

- skydiving!! sky!! diving!! and rollercoasters

- you get flying dreams n wish you were a bird

The Web

- pretty likely to believe in fate

- less likely to believe in free will

- every time you get into a piece of media you have a wall of red strings and theories about plot and predictions

- over analyze everything

- also you have anxiety

- you can’t write Anything until you plan out every single plot point and character arc and scene and shot. i admire your resilience and commitment.

[sleep-i-ness]

The Nature of the Beast

Blurb: The Doctor is taking you to the one person who has dealt with the Monks before and you weren’t expecting the ‘monster’ in the Vault to be quite so hot.

Content Warning: hopeless lesbian, a thing for hands (because who doesn’t)

Taglist: @kjaneway1​ (if you would like to be added please fill in this form)

Beep. You eyed the Doctor with some worry as he fiddled with the extensive locks, each part letting out a further bleep of approval as he came closer to completely unlocking the Vault. He had said he had to do this, that he had no choice and that’s what scared you the most. What monster could he have locked up deep in the basement of the university? You’d never seen him so visibly nervous and your muscles felt frozen at the prospect of coming face to face with the creature. As the doors swung open, you gripped tightly onto Bill’s hand, bracing yourself for whatever beast was within.

The delicate strains of a single melody echoed around the expanse, the piano eerie in the total silence. A woman sat at the stool, head resting on one hand while the other fiddled with the keys, playing the repetitive melody. You shared a confused look with Bill as you dropped her hand, fiddling with the hem of your sleeve.

The Vault was bigger on the inside, perhaps Time Lords needed to overcompensate for something, and there were even wide windows letting in grey light. As you continued further into the room, you noticed that the woman and the piano were inside a hexagonal containment field. Glowing blue posts outlined the raised podium, sparse bar the figure and her piano, and a few ratty-looking pieces of furniture were scattered around the rest of the room. The Doctor flopped into a leather armchair as the doors swung shut behind you, flicking his coat out before sitting. He pinched the bridge of his nose.

“But it's, it's just a woman,” Bill blurted, arms spread wide as she hesitated. The aforementioned woman stopped playing and turned around to fix the Doctor with an unimpressed look. “God, the way you and Nardole have been carrying on, I thought you had some kind of monster in here, or something!”

You eyed the woman curiously, wondering what about her was so terrifying. Hair awry, eyes a brilliant burning blue, you couldn’t keep your eyes off the spellbinding figure.

“I do.” His gaze never once shifted from eyeing the woman and he sighed. “Missy, Bill and Y/N. Bill and Y/N, Missy, the other Last of the Time Lords.”

Bill raised her hand in a small wave as the woman eyed the two of you up and you smiled weakly. You shivered involuntarily as her eyes brushed over you, feeling oddly drawn towards her.

“Wait a sec.” Bill turned to the Doctor with a frown. “Why have you got a woman locked in a vault? Because even I think that's weird, and I've been attacked by a puddle and she’s snogged a Zygon.”

You rolled your eyes, suppressing a snort as you realised it was not the time nor place to be making fun of the current state of your love lives.  Although it was understandable why they were in such a state, considering you had the hots for an incredibly dangerous Time Lady.

“She's going cold turkey from being bad.” The Doctor glanced up at Bill, eyes finally straying away from Missy. Missy hmphed, not looking away from the piano as the Doctor zeroed back in on her. “I want to ask if you've had any dealings with the Monks before.”

“Of course. I've had adventures too,” she preened, her voice lilting as she twisted her torso to face you all. She had a strong Scottish accent, maybe that was another Time Lord thing, and her voice dropped as she teased. “My whole life doesn't revolve around you, you know.”

“Did you defeat them?” Bill piped up, desperate, brow creased. The guilt was dripping off of her and you winced, wishing you could do something to alleviate it. You knew she blamed herself for the state of the world but, despite the Doctor’s remonstrations, she’d done what she believed was right and you would stand by her for that.

“I did.” Her self-satisfactory tone was tinged with affront, as if there was no doubt in her ability to defeat the Monks. Your teeth tugged on your bottom lip as you watched her, completely enthralled.

“How?”

Missy seemed amused with Bill’s bluntness, painted lips pulling into a savage grin as she exhaled a short laugh. Giving her a once-over, her eyes caught on you again, lighting up as you fidgeted under her gaze.

She turned away again. “I've got some requests. I want some new books, some toys,” the Doctor sighed, “like a particle accelerator, a 3-D printer, and a pony.”

“I don't think that you really grasp what's going on here,” he huffed, his accent bleeding through stronger as his frustration grew. “Nice people generally don't haggle over the fate of a planet.”

“I once built a gun out of leaves. Do you think I couldn't get through a door if I wanted to?” The tension hanging in the air was thick enough to cut with a knife and you gulped as her stare drilled holes into the Doctor. You weren’t sure what you were feeling at her somewhat veiled threat, but you were pretty sure it wasn’t solely fear. Missy jumped up, spinning to face the Doctor by the side of the piano. “I'm here, all right? I'm engaging with the process.”

“Okay,” Bill jumped in, glancing at you for support. You nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, we can, we can get those things for you.”

“C'est supère.” Missy overenunciated the French and you bit back a grin, noting her disappointed expression at the lack of reactions. She sighed, crossing her legs, and tilting her head. “So, what have you got so far?”

As the Doctor rose, so did Missy. He began to pace, each step leading to more thoughts tumbling out of his mouth. But you were distracted by the divine figure in front of you, enshrined in a tight purple suit and sinfully demure white blouse. “They hold on to power by targeting the part of the brain specifically to do with memory and perception, correct? Right?”

Missy closed the lid of her grand piano, fingers deftly clasping around the stand for the lid and folding it down. “Getting warm. Fingers tingling.”

“But they target it with what exactly? How do they sustain it?” Missy sat on the piano lid; hands clasped in her lap as the Doctor rambled. “How do their lies infiltrate the brains of billions? Is it some kind of airborne psychoactive?”

She shifted to lying on the piano lid, gaze following him as he paced round. Something in the shrewd look in her eyes reminded you of a cat watching a mouse.

“Oh my God.” The reverent gasp slipped your lips as she kicked her legs up. The smirk tugging at the corners of her lips gave away that she’d heard you and you flushed.

“No, no, that's very cold, very cold.”

“Something that's constantly being fed to the populace, constantly consolidating its hold. Is it in the water?”

“God, no. It's freezing, freezing.” She gestured wildly; legs kicked up in the air behind her. “Absolutely freezing. Couldn't be colder. Very, very, chilly. So, so chilly.”

Missy swung her legs round and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding as she straightened up and jumped off the piano. She winked at you, smoothing down her skirt.

“Oh, come on. I'm bored!” She whined. “You haven't been to see me in six months. No-one has! Not even that bald bloke who looks like an egg.”

“What, you left her alone in here for six months?” You and Bill both whirled on the Doctor, mouths agape.

“Six months,” Missy whispered, repeating Bill with an expression of mock horror.

“I was in prison for six months.” The Doctor protested.

“Start at the beginning.” She ordered, treating him as a teacher would a little kid. “How do they get a foothold on a planet?”

“Some idiot asks for their help.”

Bill glared at the Doctor and you narrowed your eyes at him. Sure, it hadn’t been the greatest idea to ask the Monks for help, but he could have at least been somewhat grateful for how much she was willing to sacrifice for him. And for regaining his vision.

“Well, not just any idiot. It has to be a properly consenting human mind. A pure request, one without agenda or ulterior motive.” Missy’s lips twitched as the Doctor spun on his heel, stalking away from you all. The mania lurking in the back of her eyes frightened you and you shrunk closer to Bill.

“It's them.” The Doctor faced you again, a resigned smile on his face. “That person creates a psychic link, which forms an anchor that keeps the Monks in power. They're the lynchpin.”

“Scalding. Ow.” Missy’s eyes darted surreptitiously from the Doctor to you and back again, lips forming a perfect ‘o’. Your brain short-circuited, eyes caressing the sharp contours of her cheekbones and jawline. God, she was hot.

“But the brainwaves of one person wouldn't be powerful enough to contain an entire planet,” he trailed off; you could almost see the cogs whirring in his great mind. He paused, waving a finger. “The statues! As soon as they got here, the Monks put up statues in every town square, and every park, and every playground.”

“You're on fire, you're literally on fire you're so caliente. That's Spanish for hot.” Missy called back to you and Bill, who could do no more than stare and try to follow on with the Time Lords’ discourse.

“The statues are transmitters. They boost the signal and beam it out all around the world.” The Doctor grinned smugly.

“Boom! You've exploded.” Missy gestured with her hands, the light glinting off the tops of her cheekbones. You inhaled sharply. “Now, all you have to do is find whoever opened the door to the Monks in the first place.”

The Doctor glanced at Bill, raising his eyebrows. “Say I already have.”

“Oh! Well then, you're sorted. Just kill them,” the Doctor’s grin dropped, “that weakens the Monks' grip on the world.”

You grabbed onto Bill’s hand tightly, watching as her face fell, crestfallen. She almost seemed resolved and you rubbed your thumb over the back of her knuckles.

“No, no. No, no, that can't be right,” the Doctor scoffed disbelievingly, somewhat taken aback. Though wasn’t this response unsurprising? “There are planets that the Monks have ruled for thousands of years.”

“It's passed on through the bloodline. Usually the lynchpin goes on to lead a normal life, have their own family, and the link is passed down through the generations.” Missy strode forward, resting one arm up against the supporting poles, the other resting on the enticing curve of her hip.

“But the Monks must have worked that out. They've been doing this for millennia.”

“Why? If the link is passed on, the Monks stay in charge, through, they think, their ruthlessness and efficiency. But if the lynchpin dies and the link isn't passed on, and the Monks get booted off the planet, well, they just chalk it up to experience,” Missy gesticulated, each new point greeted with a flick of her wrist.

She sat down once again, resuming her place at the piano and her fingers ran daintily over the keys. You followed her hands with an unnecessary fixation, wetting your lips nervously as the joints flexed and danced across the notes. Bill’s sudden movement broke your concentration, and you shared a look with the Doctor.

Bill caught the expression on your faces. “No, it's okay. I want to speak to her.”

“Yes?” You couldn’t help the rising disappointment as Missy turned to face her, hands dropping off the piano.

“So when you defeated the Monks, that's how you did it?”

“Well, at this point, all that was left of the bloodline was a wee girl,” you swallowed harshly at the thickened accent, “and I just pushed her into a volcano.”

You could have sworn Missy glanced at you when she repeated the stressing of word in her heavy Scottish accent, that her lips had twitched at your visceral reaction.

“It's me. The lynchpin is me.” Bill’s voice trembled, tears threatening to break from her eyes. You inched closer to her, not close enough to touch but enough to provide some sort of support.

Missy’s attention jumped straight back to Bill, eyes narrowing ever-so-slightly.

“Awkward,” she sang, leaning back on the piano with a hint of smugness at the discordant chords.

“So you're saying I have to die.” No. The Doctor would come up with something else, he couldn’t just let your best friend die.

“No. If you were just to die, everyone's false memories would have to fade, and that could take ages. It's actually better if you keep breathing, if your brain just keeps transmitting, well, nothing. That would blot out the residue false memories.” The grin on her face almost convinced you that the option she was providing was an improvement. Almost.

“What would be left of me?” Bill’s eyes never left her face.

“You'd be a husk. Completely and irrevocably brain-dead. You couldn't even get on Celebrity Love Island.” It was her matter-of-fact tone that riled you, the inevitability in her voice.

“No.” You stepped up beside Bill, face to face with the Time Lady and almost fearful at the feral look buried deep in her eyes. A hand clasped around your elbow as the Doctor yanked you and Bill back from the containment field.

“Even if that was the truth, the fact that you're suggesting it shows there's been no change, no hope, no point.” The Doctor’s words were harsh and the spark in Missy’s eyes fizzled out, replaced with an all-encompassing sadness. Your heart ached for her, despite her sole resolution to your problem being for Bill to virtually die. “We don't sacrifice people - it's wrong - because it's easy.”

“You know, back in the day, I'd burn an entire city to the ground just to see the pretty shapes the smoke made. I'm sorry your plus one doesn't get a happy ending, but, like it or not, I just saved this world because I want to change. Your version of good is not absolute.” A watery sheen covered her eyes, missable as she blinked it away moments after it appeared. “It's vain, arrogant, and sentimental.”

As the Doctor backed down and you were left staring at the forlorn Time Lady, a pang of empathy struck a chord in your heart. The Doctor made it very hard for you to feel like a ‘good’ person - the very first time you met him, he had yelled at you for taking a decision which had saved the entire planet, albeit whilst risking your own life. And forever was a long time to be stuck in his shadow of goodness.

“If you're waiting for me to become all that, I'm going to be here for a long time yet.”

[nightswithkookmin]

Hello. Thank you for all your all post and analysis. I LOVE LOVE your mind. I'm new to BTS and all the skinship was confusing to me. I blame heavily edited YT videos and my own definition of what a committed relationship should look like. I have 2 small questions. 1) How can anyone resist Park Jimin? Once you Jimin you can't Jimout is real... 2) Do you see any of the other members being a temptation to JK or JM this far along in their relationship?

Woke is what you are. And you are right about most shippers making a big deal out of skinship. It can be confusing especially if you have no idea the difference between conventional shipping and alternative shipping.

Honestly, it's cute and I don't see anything wrong with that as long as that is not the basis for determining if two people are in fact LGBTQ plus and in a relationship with eachother.

Any member being a temptation? As in Jikook being attracted to any other member besides eachother?

I-

Sorry. That was a good one. Lol.

No but seriously, all the boys are handsome and attractive and have qualities that are equally legitimate and attractive. So I guess in that regard, any of them can be a temptation to Jikook?

I mean they are human...

But for anyone within the group to be deemed a threat or temptation to either of Jikook they must possess not just looks but qualities that are absent in either of Jikook that results in an emotional need that Jikook may want to look else where for the fulfillment of such said need because the other couldn't meet them.

They must be fulfilling a need that either of Jikook cannot and have not been fulfilling in each other.

I haven't seen Jimin or JK express the least sexual interest or romantic interest in any of member besides each other in that regard.

I've not seen them demand emotional fulfillment from the other members the way they demand emotional and physical fulfillment from each other either.

Whatever needs they have, they fulfill it for eachother and where the other person falls short I see them negotiating and bargaining until those needs are met.

What I mean is, Jimin wants JK to be the one to meet all his emotional, sexual needs and he often negotiates with JK till JK fulfills them. Jk does this too. Isn't that what I said had been going on between them? Jikook asserting themselves against each other?

Jk not wanting to hide their relationship, Jimin wanting the Kumbaya of the group, yadda yadda yadda?

They don't allow the others to fulfill their needs nor do they use others to fulfill their needs. Nor do I think the others can fulfill their needs. Especially when the others for the sake of the longevity of their careers would rather they hide their relationship when hiding is the last thing JK wants?

No one in the group is a temptation for JK. No one. LMHO.

They are eachother's romantic and sexual awakening as I've said several times and that I feel is sacred to them too- especially JK who is a hopeless romantic.

Jimin has said he wants the person he falls in love with to be the only one for the rest of his life- I think that's the bell that sold JK. Lol

Jimin has said his ideal partner is a cross between JK and RM- RM because of his intelligence and ability to have deeper conversations about a broader range of topics I believe.

But funny enough, RM is the one member JM has expressed the least romantic interest in. I mean did you see his face when RM bit off food and placed it back in its box? This is the same dude that ate a cake JK blew his nose on- nasty ass but only for JK. Bless him.

Then I've seen JK drool over Tae's body? I'm not talking about the new Jersey VLive where he was touching Tae's chest and biceps. No, no, no, no- this is worse.

Remember that wet photoshoot they did? Dude leggit yeeted JM out of the way so he could have a better view of Tae's wet back emerging from the pool with his wet shirt clinging to his chiseled back- if I remember correctly. It's in Taekook sexual tension edits find it.

Plus he also seem to have a fetish for RM's thighs? Chileeee. These boys are weird as fuck. Lmho.

While others may see all these and yell gay, cheater and other slurs born out of nothing but insecurity, I've been around boys enough to know it's typical of men.

We are being exposed to the intimate inner workings of male masculinity and masculine behaviors and interactions in a way most people just aren't privy to in their day to day encounters and that can be a bit confusing for most people.

Truth is men do admire each other's bodies a lot especially aspects of the male body they want to have in order to appear equally masculine and attractive.

Masculinity is the sum of traits that make men feel like a man- having a dick is not enough apparently. No shade to dicks. But men want to look a certain way, speak a certain way and appear a certain way.

JK is a man too, wants to be seen as a manly man as RM has said. So of course he is going to admire other features in other men.

But how are we going to joke about JK packing and bench pressing after Jimin admired another idol with hyperbolic masculine traits and then fail to see how Jin's broad shoulders, RM's thighs or Tae's biceps would be features JK would equally want to have too because those features are deemed attractive in typical masculine men? Something he wants to be seen as?

As a queer person I find men and this whole masculinity business exhausting. But as a girl, I admit we do it too. Big boobs, snatched waist, phat ass while being skinny- can't relate but I want it if it will get people off my back. Naa, just kidding. Y'all fat phobic bunch can kiss my ass.

Seriously though, imagine being told you are a lesbian and attracted to a girl simply because you find another's girl's nails as fab. To men that's what it is.

Women express their femininity through their looks, the hair, makeup, nails, bags, heels etc. Men do the same with their six packs, chiseled jaw, broad shoulders, Gucci belts and others too.

I think it's bizzare to associate a person's expressions of femininity or masculinity with their sexuality. It's really weird.

My point is, as strange as these things JK does may seem, they are also very typical behaviors of the Male species.

And so to me when JK is doing all that I'm not going damn he wants to jump Jin's bones, I'm thinking wow so that's a quality he wants to have too- good for Jin.

That's not to say when JK is clutching his groin region while watching JM dance that he wants to have lean muscles like Jimin too. Lol

Jikook admire eachother. But I find they admire eachother's work ethics, talents and skills rather than their expressions of masculinity. Jimin's masculinity is not exactly something JK admires or want to be nor does JM want to be JK or appear as masculine as JK.

Often if you find them checking eachother out it's because they want to jump eachother's bones. In my opinion. Bless them.

In the their earlier dynamics, before 2016, I find that was the phase they were exploring and experimenting with their sexuality in my opinion and so the lines looked a little blurry- for both of them: Jimin with his dark eyeliner, hypersexualized persona and come hither look. JK with his hyperactive alertness to judgement magnifying his inner inhibitions thus making him appear most times passive to others' sexualization of him *cough cough- if you know you know* which I feel he sometimes lowkey enjoyed and at times partook in or initiated- definition of Stock Holmes. Lmho.

Pre 2016 was wild. BTS back in the day were wild and dangerous- sneaky hormonal teenagers. Bless them. But they have since outgrown that phase and any substantive relationship post their teenage era has been formed and solidified.

Thus any sexual entanglement can and will have serious consequences on the groups dynamics so I honestly don't think they even let their minds wander there to be honest.

That being said, again they are human. But I really don't think or see them as attracted to anyone within the group besides eachother- not emotionally, not physically.

Jimin I believe is JK's ideal man and partner and I don't see anyone similar to him in any way that can be tempting for JK. There's only one Park Jimin.

Jk is equally Jimin's ideal type. I just think he thinks there's more room for improvement there and JK seems bent on doing whatever it takes to be that person for Jimin.

As for Park Jimin, we don sold our souls to an androgynous she devil. Not that I'm in a hurry to free myself. *Wink, wink.

Signed,

GOLDY

[girlofprey7]

TMNT 2012 COUPLE HEADCANONS 💝💕💋(needed to do it again because forgot to put tags in my last post)

- April and Donatello are both Asexual, so their feelings for one another are strictly romantic, without physical attraction

- Renet and Mikey once broke Mikeys bed one night, and the others assumed it was from sexual circumstances, but it was actually because Him and Renet were having a bed jumping competition, those little cinnamon rolls😘☺️

- Karai and Leo spend most of their time together training, as it’s the only way they can actually express their feelings toward each other. They still do feel a bit awkward ever since they found out Splinter is Karai’s father, but are still trying to make it work somehow.

- Shinigami is a lesbian. Because of this some of the team (escpecially Mikey) would always assume her and Karai were together, even though they were only BFFs. To which Karai would respond with this,

“Can’t two girls live with each other, be really good friends and do everything together, without people assuming we’re gay?!”

- Raph and Mona Lisa actually give relationship advice to the other guys and girls, because they probably had it the most successfully. They’re advice doesn’t always work for the others, but then again you can’t always take love advice from those two hopeless romantics💕😘😋

BONUS

- When Alopex needed help in a fight, slash would pick her up with one hand and fight with the other, because she’s so tiny. She would struggle at first, but deep down she secretly likes it when he does that❤️😉

- Slash sometimes calls Alopex ‘Ally” or ‘Apex’ as cute little nicknames for her. 🥰

Hope you enjoy my HEADCANONS of these pairings and ships! If you want any more, just ask!😉👍

[dddemigirl]

I’m close to halfway done with Midnight Sun and I have some thoughts. It bothers me how much SMeyer writes Bella as the definition of ��not like the other girls,” but also how much I see myself in Bella. Disgusting, considering Bella is Smeyer’s self insert. The clumsiness, not wanting to be the center of attention, being nerdy, being terrible at sports and dancing. I can relate to that stuff. Certainly not the fiction protagonist I’d want to find myself in.

Some other things that intrigue me; was Edward always unable to put together Charlie‘s thoughts? I don’t remember that. Granted I haven’t read the books or watched the movies since I was a young teenager. I was also wondering about Tanya and the Denali Clan, did they have much of a role? Something that surprises me is how teenager-ish Edward’s actions/thoughts can be. When I first read the books I always saw him as mature, so sure of himself. I guess one would be if they were as old as he is but Midnight Sun really reminds us that this emo sparkle boy is mentally 17.

Speaking of the Cullens, I love how much I’m seeing of their banter and personalities compared to what I remember from Bella’s POV. I’m really into the potential vampire lore that Smeyer denied us. I feel like if this story wasn’t so focused on Edward and Bella we could’ve seen that stuff fleshed out. Where do other vampires live in the US? Where in other countries? What are their laws or activities? We see so little of other vampire clans outside of the big battle scene in Breaking Dawn (?) or when we occasionally are introduced to the Cullens’ vampire friends. You’re telling me that Edward is the only vampire to ever develop feelings for a human? That every other group of vampires just see humans as prey? I know the Cullens are considered different from many for being “vegetarians” and for living as a family but still.. Also! Stephanie Meyer, your obnoxious Mormon ass incidentally went and wrote Alice as sapphic. I bet you’d hate it if you knew some of your readers thought this. The way Alice talks about loving Bella?? Hello??? Edward even refers to Alice being Bella’s girlfriend. I know this is being used in the way straight women refer to their friends as “girlfriends,” which is super obnoxious to me as a lesbian, but come on..! Alice is sapphic and polyamorous. I’m calling it. She is happy for Edward and Bella and truly loves Jasper but she has feelings for Bella too. No one can take this from me. Okay, so onto another topic. We all hate how racist this series is, it’s so focused on white people and has racist writing choices. I would’ve liked if the Cullens were diverse. Not just in race but in sexuality, gender, perhaps there could’ve been disabled vampires? Think about it; these are killing machines with great physical ability, would any physical disability they had as humans be gone with their change to vampirism? I think it would be good writing and good representation to have say, a vampire in a wheelchair for example. As someone with dyscalculia and ADHD I would enjoy reading about learning disabilities as well. Meyer writes about how smart Edward and Bella are in academics. I grew up learning that I would never truly be perceived as smart because of my dyscalculia and other learning disabilities.

I also like the idea of a trans vampire, someone who spends their new life as an immortal working on their gender expression how they see fit and becoming happiest with their body. They have all the time in the world after all. Obviously give me all of the lgbt vampires please. Onto race diversity, I had a thought, could a Native vampire exist in the Twilight canon? Imagine a Native who feels conflicted with their new vampire identity and how their heritage warns them to stay away from the Cold Ones. Becoming the thing your family and community despise and having to decide where your loyalties lie, if your loved ones would even accept you? Smeyer did the Quileute tribe soooo fucking dirty. I am so pissed. Who the fuck... what the fuck? Who the fuck involves an indigenous community in their writing, without permission, and doesn’t give said tribe funds from their earnings from the book(s)?? This lady’s racist, homophobic, slut shaming, holier than thou attitude is so prevalent in her writings and it worries me because she influenced a whole generation of young teenagers with her books. I was one of them. Not to mention she tried to play off that Edward and Jacob’s treatment of Bella were somehow romantic and healthy! Today’s young adults saw that shit! You’re a grown woman Stephanie. You romanticized toxic behaviors in your books targeted toward a young and impressionable audience. I’m thinking about how many of today’s preteens and teenagers will go read the Twilight saga for the first time due to Midnight Sun’s release. They will think that racism, predatory relationships and shaming girls for liking popular things (See Bella “not like other girls” Swan for reference) is acceptable. I’m a hopeless romantic, a dreamer, so I hate when these books easily make me go “aww” internally even when I know it’s not “aww,” it’s unhealthy. I’m old enough to know what is a red flag in Bella’s relationships but not everyone who reads them is old enough to understand that yet. Baby me certainly didn’t see how Edward and Jacob were both not good for Bella. I was too caught up in the Team Edward and Team Jacob craze. (Baby me was Team Jacob by the way. I’m a trashy furry who loves werewolves, I can’t help it.)

My final thoughts for now anyway: in the dedication our wonderful author says that this book is for the fans who were first young teens when reading Twilight, something like that. She writes that she hopes we achieved our dreams. Not the exact wording but you get it. I remember when I read that dedication page I felt immeasurable sadness. I haven’t reached my goals, lived my dreams or become a successful young adult. I’m still that socially awkward, clumsy, unremarkable person I was when I first read and watched this story. (Ew. Once again why do I sound like how Smeyer describes Bella? I’m cringing.) I’m stuck being a nobody because I’m too scared to change. I know this rant is about Midnight Sun/the Twilight saga and isn’t about me but damn that shit hit me like a ton of bricks.

[burnedbyshoto]

Evening, Officer

Kinktober Day 17 ~ kink: degradation

pairing: ashido mina x fem!reader

warnings: smut, cursing

word count: 3,435

a/n: READ WLW YOU HOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also I have no excuse as to why this is late except that my period started and I took an accidental 4 hour nap

✩✶✩❇✩✶✩

Stereotypes were the bane to your existence.

They were cruel, mean, and unneeded. Why they were even created was something that you wish you could give a definite answer to. Were they created out of love at first and then twisted into horribleness? Or were they always derogatory?

You had no idea.

All you knew is that people always held two stereotypes triumphantly over your head. You were a woman so you couldn’t drive, and that you were gay so you even worse at driving.

Those were the two things forever held over your head. You had a conversation with someone every three days about your driving skills. It seemed that this stereotype was forever chained to your leg.

Were they wrong?

Of course! You were an amazing driver! You always looked over your shoulder before changing lanes and… you can’t even lie.

You were an awful driver.

Every day without fail you were either fifteen miles above the speed limit or fifteen below it. You could never parallel park, and would always hug one side of a parking space. You always used your blinkers! But again, you also left them on to the frustration of other drivers. You cut people off, flipping others off when they did the same to you. You slam your brakes instead of easing into it, and often you get distracted with your playlist to drive. You also clipped the curbs a lot. All and all, how you passed your driving exam was a mystery no one could solve.

The largest evidence of your shitty driving was the number of tickets you had as well. You were good though! The major points against your record happened once a year! But this year it seemed you were dwindling on your typical luck as you were racing home. Trying to tune in to the Bachelor. Why you liked that show was beyond you, but the drinking game always left you buzzed and ready to take on the world. You knew, as well, that you had two speeding tickets. You also figured that there were two months before you would be clear to restart your ticket clock. But it was already super late. The lack of cars on the highway made you press past the seventy-five miles limit by a whopping twenty miles.

You had taken this route before, and the highway patrol had never been there. Was it your luck that as you passed a large sign you were then met with bright blue and red lights. The all too familiar sound of a siren blaring as you cursed. You didn’t resist, however, turning on your blinker and pulling off to the side of the road. Your head slamming against the wheel as you awaited for the officer to come over. It felt like an eternity before a flashlight shone through your window. Tapping against the glass window as you lowered the window without looking.

“License and registra--” Your head peaked up to catch the pink-skinned officer. “Oh my god, are you serious, y/l/n?!” The female voice groaned, and you moaned further as your hands fished for your purse and your papers.

This was not the first time you had been pulled over by Officer Ashido.

“Evening, officer.” You sniffle, already thinking about the incoming notice of the suspension of your license.

Officer Ashido had never let you off with a warning before! You wish you were kidding when you said that she is the only officer to have written you up for speeding. Most male officers looked down your shirt and gave you a warning. You weren’t opposed to using your body to get away with things! You were not ashamed of it either! You just wished Officer Ashido was a hopeless lesbian so you could get away with things.

“Do I even need to tell you what you did wrong here?” She asks you, a coy smirk on her face as she leans on the threshold of your window. You can feel your face turning on fire as you sigh, staring straight ahead you nod. Why did you feel like a misbehaved puppy whenever she was involved?

“I’m especially pretty today? So you felt the need to pull me over and tell me?” You flirt anyways, your eyes falling onto her grinning face. Officer Ashido laughs shaking her head as she takes out her ticket machine.

“So,” She continues ignoring your words. “Is this the seventh time I’ve caught you?”

Your face burns as your hands reach out for her, her fingers punching in a serial of numbers into the machine. “Let's not be hast here!” You interject as her fingers pause, her eyebrow quirks as she looks at you.

“Why’s that?”

You know she knows, there’s no doubt about it especially with the devious glint in her eyes. You felt your blood boil as you square her off, “It’ll be my third ticket!” You say as you try reading the screen. “I can’t get my license taken away.”

“Sounds like you knew what you were doing wrong then, sweetheart.” Mina clicks her tongue, but she doesn’t go back to writing up your ticket. “You took a chance and slipped. It happens to the best of us. Tell your boyfriend to take you places from here on out then.”

Your cheeks puff out as you’re a bit flabbergasted with her words. What about you screamed that you had a boyfriend?! “I don’t have a boyfriend! I also don’t have roommates!” You whined, hoping that there would be some sort of sympathy in her heart.

“Should’ve thought of that before speeding on my highway.” Officer Ashido sighs as her fingers begin tapping away at the buttons.

“There’s never been anyone there before!”

“So, you’re admitting to speeding multiple times?”

“NO!”

“I’m pretty sure that’s what you confessed to earlier?”

“I wasn’t confessing anything! I--just--fucking shit, Officer Ashido, I can not get this ticket. Please, I’m begging you! I’ll do anything!”

You watch as she pushes off from your car, her arms folding as she turned away from you. Your eyes widen as you continue looking at her, unsure of what she was even doing. You felt on edge. You had never, ever, used that phrase before. Anything could mean anything, and a part of you feared she would say something dumb or straight out refuse. Your lips part as she turns around, a serious expression on the typically jovial cops face.

“Alright, let’s get you down to the station!”

“T-The… the station?” You repeat confused. Why did you need to go to the station? Your show was playing!

“Well, considering this is your third violation of the year. On top of you attempting to seduce an on-duty officer, you are violating the law.”

“WHAT?!” You panic as you feel your stomach fall out of your ass. Strings of apologies pour out of your mouth, tears welling in your eyes as you try to show how apologetic you were. “Please forgive me! I didn’t mean for you to--fuck I’m an idiot, come on Officer Ashido, just this--”

You freeze as her giggles sound in your ears, and you look up. Your tears quickly dying in your eyes as you stared at her laughing form. Oh, she was joking. Annoyance floods your veins as you pout, your hands crossing over your chest as you look ahead again.

“Sorry, sorry, I had to take that!” She laughs as she leans in towards the window again. You can feel her soft breaths hitting your neck as you try to remain unaffected. Officer Ashido was someone you found to be very attractive. But you knew nothing would ever come out of pining after an officer you only saw when breaking the law. “Now, let’s talk about this ‘you’ll do anything’ business.” She sighs and you snap your gaze over to her.

“What makes you think that still stands after what you did?” You retort, your eyes angry as your eyes shift over to her bottom lip that is captured between her teeth.

“So you want the ticket?”

“...no.”

“Good, because if I’m being honest I have something I want to attempt with you. Of course, if you’re up to it.”

Your breathing feels like lead as you stare at her blown wide pupils. Something convinces you to continue. “Depends, what do you want?”

“You see,” She removes the officer’s hat, her curly pink hair tied back into a messy bun. It was nearing the end of her shift as well it seems. “For the past few… years. I haven’t been having that much fun in bed. Long story short, men… aren’t my favorite things anymore.” You feel your fingers tremble as you stare at her face. It seems she’s trying to judge how you’re reacting to her story. The trembled breathe that escapes your mouth lets her know to continue. “They’re boring, egotistical, and by all means never want to see a woman on top of them. I’ve always been attracted to women, but I’ve never tested out the waters before. But, I want to try it with you, of course, only if you want to.”

Your chest heaves as you feel very, very turned on. Her yellow eyes on yours as they trail against your chest, the tank top you wore leaving little to imagine.

The words pour out of your mouth before you can even think about the consequences of your actions.

“Get to the backseat.”

Your fingers unlocking the car doors, you unbuckle yourself from the seat. Your fingers rolling up the window as Officer Ashido slips into your backseat. The car door slamming as you relocked the car. With the car doors locked, you get up from your seat. Jumping over the armrest to get to the backseat where Ashido is expecting you. The red and blue lights of her patrol car blinding you as it flashed in your eyes.

Her strong hands grip your waist, and you gasp as in your blinded state her lips latching onto your neck. Her teeth nibbling on your vein makes you moan, your back arching as she presses on, unafraid of what she’s doing.

“Tell me...” She wonders against your skin. Your fingers clutching her biceps between your hands as you lie against your seat. “What does my dirty little slut like?”

Your eyes open. Degradation was something you’ve never tried before. But those words send heat towards your cunt. You moan as her fingers trail under your tank top, her nails dragging against your sensitive skin. Her hands are on your waist, and she drags your legs until your ass is adjacent to her crotch. Your hips come to roll against hers, a movement that causes her to hiss.

Her smile makes your walls flutter in anticipation as your mouth opens to answer, “I… I like being fucked by a dom who isn’t afraid to wrestle around with me. I’m not giving in quickly, and I don’t expect to be on top. I love being tribbed, it’s so fucking hot feeling a girl grinding her soaked pussy into my own.” You grin as your watch Ashido’s head drop backward, a preemptive moan escaping her mouth at the thought of doing all those things. You weren’t ashamed to admit it, and you glowed at her inability to look at you right now. You didn’t ever sleep with anyone with a degradation kink, but you knew about it well enough to play with her own emotions. “I love being used as someone’s sex toy. Using me after dominating me in whatever way and desire they want. I love watching people play with themselves as I’m forced to watch, the look on their faces as they’re getting off. The look on their face when-- shit!”

There’s a hard thrust against your aching core, and Ashido has your hands above your head. Cold metal circling your wrists as you watch her handcuff you to the door. “Officer--!”

“Call me, Mina.” She grins before her lips come and connect with yours. Goosebumps shoot through your body as your hands tug against the restraint. The cold metal hissing against your burning skin as her hands push your shirt up and over your breasts. Your face twists with pain and pleasure as her hands force your back to arch. A muffled moan escapes your lips as she undoes your bra. Her hands shoving the trapped material up with the shirt.

You pant as Mina pulls away, her fingers unbuttoning her blue workshirt as she grinned. “Don’t you just look lovely like this. Saying things about how you’re a bratty sub, but look at you. You’re trembling with excitement. Such a fucking whore, aren’t you? How long have you waited for me to do this to you, hm? Did you want me to fuck your dirty fucking pussy the first time around? How many people have you fucked to get out of a ticket before, are you a desperate whore as I think you are?”

An aroused and insulted moan escapes your lips as Mina pulls the white tank top over her head. Her breasts restrained behind a sports bra as she leaned back down. “I want a fucking answer, whore.”

Your breathing hitches as you stare into her lust-filled eyes, her emitting confidence was very quickly overwhelm you. Was this really her first time domming?

“I’ve n-never done this!” You stutter as her fingers pull off your pants, your hips bucking with the desperate need of attention to your throbbing core.

Mina chuckles as she spreads your legs apart, her hot breaths hitting your soaked core causing you to whine. Chills of pleasure spreading among your skin as you cry out her name. “I’m glad because you’re mine and only mine, got it?” Mina asks you, her fingers tracing your clothed slit. Your head nods rapidly in agreement.

Mina’s fingers push aside your panties, and her fingers push into your dripping core. Your back arches off the seat, your body almost tumbling off as you scream her name. “God, you’re such a tight fucking little whore. You really wanted this to be the end result, didn’t you?” Mina snaps, her fingers curling into your walls. You sob in response, the overwhelming pleasure spreading like fire through your body as she coaxes her fingers against your walls. Her other hand shoots out to your noisy mouth, sinking two fingers into your mouth as you gag against it slightly. “Come on, I know you can take my fingers like a good bitch.”

You moan against her fingers, your hips awkwardly bucking against her fingers as your backseat was definitely not spacious enough to maneuver without care. As if she was not doing enough, Mina’s head tilts down to suck onto your pert nipples, your gagged scream only riling her further. Her tongue swirls your stiff nipple around in her mouth, the sucking sensation of her mouth making you plead to her around her fingers. Her eyes are locked on your desperate eyes. She doesn’t stop, her fingers now scissoring within you as you shudder against her movements.

Mina lets go of your nipple and sighs. “You’re such a dirty fucking bitch. Your pussy is so fucking wet, are you going to come so quickly?” Your head shakes fast, your back arching off the seats as you try getting more friction to your pussy. “I know you’re a good whore, you won’t come yet right now, right?”

Her fingers leave your mouth, and you cough, your lungs finally filling with a full amount of oxygen, “Mina, please, I want you now!”

Mina doesn’t even flinch as she instead removes her fingers from within you, and removes your panties. Your strained cries also ignored as she removes her pants, your hips wriggling in hope to catch her leg between them. You need contact.

You watch with increasing lust as Mina removes her sports bra, now in front of you, gloriously naked. She’s beautiful and perfect. Her breasts look full and ready to be touched, her curves making you feel jealous as she leans back over you. “Did you know you have the prettiest fucking pussy I’ve ever seen, harlot.” You grunt, not at all liking all the talking and wanting her to grind her pussy against yours. “Do you need to come now? You were taking my fingers so well, and I think my pretty fucking whore needs to come. I sure want to come against my whore.”

You sob as your hands pull desperately against the restraint, your body unable to move from your position.

“Yes, Mina!” You cry as her fingers trace the sides of your body, your hips squirming under her touch. “I want to come, and I want you to come on me.”

“You say such sweet things for a dirty cumslut.” Mina giggles as her legs straddle your opened legs.

You hiss as she lowers herself over your throbbing pussy.

“Oh my god!” You shrill as she places herself directly onto your clit.

“Fuck, shit!” Mina gasps, her back arching as your hips rut against hers. It’s obviously a new sensation for her, and her clenched eyes tell you that easily. “You’re so fucking wet, so fucking messy for me.”

“Mina!” You shout as you roll your hips, creating friction between your both soaked pussies. “Please, Mina! You need to move!”

Mina shakes her head her body still adjusting to this new pleasure as her hips finally move. The sopping sounds of your interacting pussies make you nearly shriek as Mina’s hips roll against yours. She grinds against you sinfully, as if she has been doing this for ages. “You’re so fucking wet!” She cries out her hands playing with her breasts. “You’re such a fucking slut, your pussy is fucking soaked for me!”

Your head throws back as you feel her pussy throb against yours. Your teeth biting into the side of your arm to keep yourself from screaming. “You’re so fucking good at this!” You praise against your arm. “Don’t stop mina, you’re so fucking amazing!”

“You’re such a sexy woman, slut.” Mina cries, a single hand moving from groping her breasts to placing her fingers onto both your throbbing clits. The two of you cry out, your hips bucking wildly against hers as Mina laughs.

“MINAE, FUCK!” You sob as your hips try to start a merciless speed against her hips, but she keeps you under her pace.

“Keep screaming my name, whore.” Mina gasps, her cunt grinding even harder against you and you pull against the handcuffs so hard you’re sure to leave a bruise. “Screaming my name like the fucking slutty mess you are. All this shit just to get me to fuck you? God, you’re so fucking pathetic y/n. Yet here I am, my pussy fucking wet as you’re handcuffed and screaming under me. Begging for me, begging for more? I think you’re my favorite whore ever.”

“Mina,” You wail, your wrists and pussy throbbing as she continues rocking her cunt against yours. Your vision seeing stars as you tremble more and more. “I am your whore. Please let me come, please! You fuck me so well, fucking hell!”

Pleasurable waves crash through you as her fingers focus on your clit, and your walls spasm. Your breathing hitches as the pleasure within continues building mercilessly. It shoots through your body, your toes curling as your jaw drops in a soundless scream.

You’re about to tumble onto your orgasm when Mina’s finger let go of your clit, and a resulting cry rips through your throat as Mina reaches towards the floor. Her hands taking her keys and freeing your hands from handcuffs. Your hands immediately seeking both your clits and Mina’s resulting hiss making your cunt tremble.

“Yes, yes, fuck yes!” Mina cries as your moving fingers will you both on. Mina’s head is thrown back, and the lewd scream that leaves her lips does it for you.

You come hard, your hips twitching and throwing in every which way as you scream her name. Your fingers freeze against Mina’s clit, but she continues riding against your finger, coming seconds after as she falls forward. Her sweaty body pressing against yours.

The two of you lay there, your mixed breathing filling your ears as after awhile she presses away.

“Well, I think you need to give me your number, I would love to take you out.”

You feel a smile come to your face as you laugh, your head shaking.

“You don’t have that memorized yet? It’s on my registration papers!”

"Oh, I never noticed!"

[beware-of-you-98]

Hello yes u are an amazing human being and I just read your angsty Em hcs and they made me feel pain and I would like to feel more pain so... I’ve come to request Emily childhood angst hcs? Your headcanons are adorable and also your Jemily at the cat cafe was adorable :)

I’m about to create an environment so angsty (also i decided to focus on her coming out/coming to terms with being gay rather than focus on her childhood in general since i already had some hcs about it!! n this is au as hell bc i don’t care about canon x)

note: whoops this got long and angsty and way past emily’s childhood oops

tw: drug use, homophobia, abortion mention, drinking, smoking (ye i still don’t know if i should put a tw for that but i do anyway 🤷‍♀️)... yeah the first half of this isn’t happy at all

emily knows from a really young age she’s different

since she’s homeschooled up until she’s 12, her only other interaction with people is with nannies and the teachers the ambassador hires

but her only other interaction to the outside world is through story books

all the princesses in her story books want to be rescued by handsome knights or princes

emily always wants to be the one to rescue the pretty princesses

her nannies buy her disney princess merch and disney movies

emily’s favorite princess is belle or jasmine bc they’re so pretty 🥺

she doesn’t think anything is wrong with it until she’s talking with her nanny about how pretty jasmine is and her nanny’s only response is a short “oh”

emily doesn’t know why, but the way she says it makes her feel guilty and so she stops talking about jasmine

and when the nanny starts to talk about aladin, she barely pays attention

(she thinks jasmine deserves better than him anyway— aladin lies to her right away and how is that supposed to be true love?)

emily keeps her thoughts about girls to herself after that day

and compartmentalizes those feelings because she hates the guilt associated with them

it’s not until she’s enrolled in the all girl’s boarding school that the feelings come back and it’s almost too hard to ignore

every other girl talks about their boyfriend or guys

emily never feels the need to talk about guys; they hold no appeal to her

(she talks about guys once or twice to try and fit in, but her stomach always flips in unpleasant ways and she always feels bad because she knows she’s lying to the other girls and herself)

her heart doesn’t flutter around boys and they don’t make her feel anything

audrey from her chemistry class makes her heart skip a beat and butterflies to erupt in her stomach

her hair is soft, her laugh is so cute and everytime she gives emily a hug, she can’t help but melt in her arms

when she kisses emily in the woods behind the school, lips tasting of strawberry chapstick, it’s as if things suddenly make sense

kissing audrey makes emily feel like she’s finally found a part of herself she didn’t even know was there and it’s glorious

when the ambassador drags her off to rome, emily snaps

she goes off the deep end because, after all the years she’s been crying for her mother’s attention, it’s kissing audrey that makes her finally pay emily any attention?????

the school emily’s enrolled in is co-ed and she immediately clings to the first group to pay her any attention

she becomes a hardcore partier

she skips class

she smokes

does drugs (weed and on the occasion, ecstasy, but once her friends convince her to do a line of coke)

(she hates the way it makes her nose run so she doesn’t do it again)

drinks and gets blackout drunk every single chance she gets

the ambassador is a lot more present at this point in her life and emily starts fights with her every night

she doesn’t even know what she’s doing anymore

her life is spiraling and she feels hopeless

and when anyone, anyone, shows her any attention, she throws herself at them

she sleeps with one of her male friends once and ends up pregnant and suddenly her life comes to a screeching halt

she’s terrified and keeps it hidden from her mother

matthew is her saving grace and never judges her once

he even holds her hand when she gets the abortion

afterwards, it’s just the two of them

matthew has to sneak out to see her because his parents loathe emily, but he manages to do it

they always go to the local park and split a joint, a cigarette or a bottle of booze between the two of them and sit in silence

emily breaks down to him one night and tells him she doesn’t know what’s wrong with her

she feels so lost and doesn’t even recognize herself anymore

matthew holds her as she cries, silently comforting her

and when she asks him what she should do, he just simply suggests that she live her life for herself and stop trying to please everyone around her

“if you’re not happy living a life trying to please other people, try living for yourself”

while the advice might be cliché, emily swears its the best she’s ever got

she works her ass off the rest of her he years (i forgot what it’s called over seas oops) not bc the ambassador wants her to, but bc emily wants to do better for herself

when the ambassador moves her back over seas, she get accepted into yale

she doesn’t label herself in college and she’s comfortable with that

she only has like one boyfriend at the start of her freshman year

but she wasn’t feeling it, so she breaks up with him and starts to date her roommate

n then she goes steady with fiona duncan for the remainder of the time she’s in college

she immediately enrolls in the fbi academy when she graduates bc she doesn’t want to do politics

as soon as she’s certified, she’s assigned the undercover position as lauren reynolds

she doesn’t like to think about those years bc they’re just as confusing as her teenage years

she likes to separate herself from lauren as much as possible bc she feels as if lauren is the embodiment of the past she wants so desperately to leave behind

she barely looks back once she’s done with the undercover mission

she spends a few years finding jobs to keep herself busy

then she joins the bau

its the first time in a while she’s around people she genuinely enjoys spending time with

she’s comfortable with the team within a few months of joining

it’s here when she officially starts to label herself as a lesbian!!

(it feels so right to say she’s a lesbian— it sounds great coming from her mouth and it makes her feel warm and whole)

she kinda keeps it hidden at first but also kinda doesn’t

no one really asks until they’re all hanging out at te bar and penelope points to a group of guys and asks her which one she thinks is cuter

emily just shrugs and gestures to the female bartender

penelope and derek take her to gay bars a lot!!

and after some persuasion, jj and reid tag along

emily notices how jj kinda stays behind at their table instead of interacting with people and is like ???

but then she notices the longing gaze and the same sad expression on the blonde’s face as she watches everyone confidently mingling around and just... knows

when she drives jj back to her apartment later that night (they carpooled), emily finally asks jj what’s wrong

and jj just goes “do you ever feel like there’s a part of you that’s been hidden so long and all you want to do is just... let it out? but you’re too scared of what others might think and that you’ll lose so many people because they can’t accept who you are? but you don’t want to live that life anymore because you’re not happy and you just... don’t know what to do?”

it sounds like rambling

but emily’s heart goes out to jj because she knows exactly how that feels

emily tells jj the same thing matthew told her all those years ago— “if you’re not happy living the life others want you to, why don’t you start living for yourself”

jj just whispers “is that what you did? wasn’t it scary?”

emily tells her of course it was!! but she had a really good friend by her side to help make it less scary and that she’ll 100% be that person for jj if she wants her to

jj comes up to her a few weeks later in private and comes out as bisexual

she’s trembling and she’s nervous but emily just beams and tells her how proud she is of her

a few years later, they’re gfs bc i said so

n emily’s finally happy!!

she has people aroun her that finally love and accept her for being herself

and that’s all she ever wanted

[pennylogue]

thoughts on “together forever”

that tired way steven trudged down the stairs :( steven please just build a warp pad near connie’s college.

i don’t know what i’m more surprised about--steven opening with ruby, or how aggressively he did it. he got very emotional very fast! i’m kinda disappointed, however, that the gems still aren’t clocking how badly things are going for steven. wasn’t she at all worried about how lost he sounded? and she later admits that she knew he was going to propose no matter, and tells him a soulmate’s not going to fill the hole in his life. and then he goes to emotional eat and tells him not to do that. alright, garnet, i’m glad you’re helping him realize why his approach was poorly thought out but like...part of constructive criticism is giving suggestions, not just telling them why everything they’re doing is a bad idea, and i hope they address some of this later on. this line of thought is partially inspired by beaniekitten, who has some interesting thoughts on garnet’s actions throughout the episode.

it was nice, however, how they wove the theme of ruby and sapphire doing their own things into the set-up, and i really enjoy seeing a little more of them having a healthier and less codependent relationship! ruby being a scout leader is adorable and a great callback to her being a cowboy, and sapphire’s class is...well, it’s less adorable, but the idea of teaching gems to calculate the future is interesting. in other mediums, i’ve seen immortals being able to predict the future simply by recognizing patterns across time, and gems can live for thousands of years...

after that leak i think everyone was wondering what could possibly drive steven to propose. of fucking course it was these two useless lesbians. their hopeless optimism and the silly, musical-style tone really sold the plausibility of steven suddenly doing something so over the top, i’ll give them that.

based solely on the promo image, i predicted steven would be shopping for his proposal and that it would be a musical number. and i mean, he was humming...you know what? we take those.

man, they sure brought the fluff this episode. and lots of connverse fanservice. i mean a callback to the first time they met? a picnic? cute conversations? the gorgeous sunset lighting, those expressions, and the song? crewniverse always brings the fluff before the really painful parts. your mileage may vary if this is a kind of compensation or if it just makes the sadness hurt more, but either way, it’s effective. it’s extra sad, though, since it’s framed around a nice layer of steven’s worsening mental state.

that fucking song. it was absolutely gorgeous and i’m so happy they didn’t wait till the end of the series to break out the full power of zach callison’s vocal chords yet again. but the foreboding. like the entire time she’s thinking he means it metaphorically but honey. no these lyrics are so cute but he really means “i’d rather be me with you”. and “wherever we go/ I already trust/ I'd know what to do if it were us/ I'd know what to say/ I'd know how to be...” like rip my heart out why don’t you. “i can't think of any other thing in the world I would rather do,” yeah he literally actually can’t. why is everything beautiful in steven universe simultaneously a cry for help.

the chill that run through my heart on the shot of him getting down on one knee. like, why did they have to sell this so cute. they even use the glow bracelet. it’s interesting, actually, that a proposal steven’s making because “connie’s his future” is so focused on their past--very thematically appropriate. tho tbh it’s not like he could use a ring. that would just be weird. imagine going to a jewelry store and buying a ring set with a gem that’s half you.

they didn’t even have the picnic hhhhh

i’m a bit amused about how worried people were that connie was going to be steven’s therapist, considering how healthy her approach to their relationship is. she does her best to make time for him without compromising on her own needs. her reaction to the proposal is incredibly reasonable and very sweet--this relationship is not gonna become codependent on her watch, hell no. (tbh i’m more worried about her ridiculous study schedule than anything else about her.) she’s got an anchor and a direction, she’s looking into the future while he’s stuck in the present. her reaction to the proposal was “not now”, not “no”. thing is, connie’s thinking in the terms of decades, because the way she sees it, they have all the time in the world. but right now, despite all of steven’s worry about the future, he’s very much stuck in the present. and the present is: connie’s pulling away and just rejected his proposal and he can’t deal with that

steven putting his hand in one pocket, “i’m fine” and forcing a smile is so steven and so. painful.

re: the crater explosion. i love the bookend, setting up in the beginning of the episode that he’s doing this sinking thing when he has to separate from connie...and then at the end, despite his half-baked attempt to improve the situation, he feels even worse than before.

and he really lies there well into the night night huh. fucking fantastic.

so yeah this entire thing really works as a one and done of the whole ptsd thing next episode. like steven really does feel like the world ended because the response to his out of the blue proposal was a “not yet.” what was that about steven’s inability to not treat every situation as life and death having negative effects on his wellbeing? talk about show don’t tell.

[nocturna-iv]

I love your Harriet moodboard. I never would have thought of Halsey for her but she's so perfect! Do you have any other HC about Harriet?

Thank you! In a sleepless night I started doing it.

I actually looked for many options, but none satisfied me. First, I wanted someone close in age to Sierra McClain (perfect for Ginny Gothel). And I wanted someone strong. Not just a tough girl. But visibly strong and beautiful (thanks to @pigtailsandwrestlingboots for the information):

So, I wanted someone with a strong back and shoulders, with really sharp features. Someone who makes you feel safe. Because Harriet is someone you want to follow. If you fall in love with her it's for being this incredible leader capable of defeating a crocodile with her own hands. Harriet is beautiful, of course. But her strength is her most remarkable characteristic. You seriously want her to corner you against the wall. Or to kiss you in the rain like it's the end of the world. So, I ended using Halsey hehe

About HC:

Harriet is aware of the love she has for other people. This is why she forces herself to be so strong. She hides her love behind protection.

Harriet is one of the first descendants of the island.

She is the protector of her family. Being on the island was very hard for Captain Hook, who had dedicated his life to capturing Peter Pan and before that to sailing. It doesn't do anyone any good to have their life purpose taken away. But Peter Pan tormented Captain Hook too much for too many years and Pan broke him. And Harriet knows that her father is a time bomb. He has good days and there are usually many. But on bad days few people can handle him. Captain Hook can be really dangerous. Harriet grew up fast to protect her siblings and give them a purpose, a distraction.

She knows that everything depends on the reputation. So Harriet knows how to control her expressions perfectly.

Harriet is an introvert. She's not antisocial. But she prefers to avoid crowds. Harriet is mentally exhausted when she is with many people. But hardly anyone knows that.

Harriet is a swordmaster. A professional duelist. And she is very good at throwing knives.

For a long time, Harriet was worried about Harry's future. She believed that he would not survive for many years. Her brother was always reckless. CJ is impulsive and daring, but Harry was another level. The worst part was watching the other kids his age follow Harry on every dangerous adventure. But fortunately, Uma came into their lives. And Harriet didn't have to worry anymore.

"They're under Harriet protection" & "They're Harriet's ally" are the equivalent of VIP cards at the port.

Usually, her relationships last for a short time because Harriet quickly realizes that she cannot trust her feelings to her partner.

Being Harriet's tail was the way some descendants lived their childhood. The way most people remember that time is by following Harriet on the Jolly Roger listening to her give orders. And Harriet presenting them with some nickname taken from some animal.

CJ's self-centeredness is partially her fault. Harriet used to tell her sister how amazing, beautiful, and wonderful she was. Harriet wanted her sister to never doubt herself. But Harriet overstepped. But she's not sorry for it.

She has killed people. Harriet knows what a bad hit can mean. Harriet knows how fragile the human body is. What a push and a bad fall mean. Harriet knows how in the heat of the moment a "die" can be the final sentence. You don't have to think about it. Death just happens.

She has a platonic crush on Uma. Nothing sexual. But it is more than admiration. If at some point Harriet had feelings for Uma, that died the second she noticed that Harry was hopeless. But only Harriet can tell Uma "lady of the sea". That is her nickname and no one else can use it. Not even her brother.

Harriet doesn't know, but the way she moves when she's in a fight is incredibly attractive. There is something very dominant in her. She was that effect in the people. You want to be destroyed by her. Also, when Harriet participates in sword duels, it's as if she is a hurricane. She takes your breath away.

Harriet is so used to taking care of her siblings, that she unconsciously does the same with the rest of the descendants of the port.

Harriet doesn't like blind devotion. She likes others to fight her. People with character are her favorite.

Part of the port's fishing is always for Uma. Especially since Harriet knows that Uma feeds people who can't pay.

Very few people understand her sense of humor. People usually take her very seriously. But you can tell that she's joking because of the little smile in her lips.

Freddie Facilier is like her younger sister. Maybe Freddie can't control CJ like Uma controls Harry, but Freddie definitely makes CJ happy. And it's so rare on the island to hear people laugh and play in addition to planning and fighting.

Harriet likes art. She enjoys a good book and shows. She is one of the few people who has heard Freddie sing. Harriet enjoys listening to Harry when he plays the piano and Uma plays the violin. She really loves paintings.

Harriet had half of the Jolly Roger's crew being read the tarot by Freddie so she can practice.

She has a collection of goblets and chalices.

When Mal and Mad Maddy pranked Uma with the rotten shrimp, Harriet denied them access to the port.

When she found out that each of her siblings kidnapped Ben, Harriet found it the funniest thing in the world. Now, she wants to kidnap Ben. So every Hook sibling has done it once.

Harriet is afraid of going crazy. And she believes that her self-destructive thoughts are a sign of insanity. But in reality, it's all the demand and hard work that she imposes on herself.

She loves spicy food.

Harriet is very proud of her siblings.

She suffers from insomnia. Ginny Gothel usually makes her a special infusion to help her sleep.

Harriet needs to protect her crew, her siblings, her family. All of them. But Harriet feels that she isn't doing enough. That she could do more. That she could be better in protecting her siblings. They shouldn't have to risk so much. Is she failing them? Is she not being strong enough?

Harriet is a lesbian and has had many girlfriends. She's not polyamorous. And she is quite jealous. Non-controlling. But do you remember her self-destructive thoughts? They can suffocate her in her relationships.

She needs to be so in control of the entire situation that even her emotions need to wait. When Harriet is angry, she relaxes by training and fighting. She doesn't stop until her legs collapse, her knuckles are bleeding, and she has trouble breathing. Harriet doesn't allow herself to express her feelings freely. Everything must be in controlled environments.

Harriet likes crocodiles because they don't have mercy.

In love: Harriet needs someone that can silent her thoughts and make her feel safe. In her dominant ways and in her broken self. Harriet needs someone who trusts her and also can stop her.

She doesn't like sweets.

[sparkles-and-trash]

Genderbent South Park Boys Aesthetics (+headcanons), Part 1

requested by anonymous  (lol I know you didn’t ask for the headcanons but I'm kinda obsessed with the girls so I had to oops) 

Scarlett Stan Marsh 

- bi disaster 

- gamer

- like, stay up all night and not shower for too many days type of gamer 

- looks way more edgy than she is 

- actually a sweetheart 

- loyal to a fault 

- hair is naturally really dark brown but she dyes it black 

- dog person, loves her dog Sparkles more than anything 

- except maybe Kylee but shhh 

Kylee Kyle Broflovski 

- preppy girl 

- dresses, talks and act very properly 

- until Erica triggers her lol 

- swears like a sailor when angry 

- not really sporty, except with basketball, which she loves so? 

- a mess™

- but a smart and somehow functional mess™ 

- idealistic and kind, but can get carried away 

- sore looser 

Kendra Kenny McCormick

- lesbian af 

- dating Majorine since forever 

- v/ protective, don’t touch her girlfriend 

- seriously, don’t even look at her funnily, she’ll end you

- sk8rgurl 

- loud laughter 

- rat mom 

- from the wrong side of the tracks, but isn’t bothered by it that much 

- good pals with her older sister and absolutely adores her lil’ brother 

- good at sports but can’t be bothered to join any teams 

- she’s basically Alex Cloudmill isn’t she wow I didn’t even mean for that to happen oofh  

Erica Eric Cartman

- spoiled rotten by her single father 

- manipulative and mean to anyone who bothers her in the slightest 

- her dad isn’t even rich, he just spends everything he have on her 

- obsessed with her big, kind of ugly, expensive white Persian cat, Maleficent

- like, she brings it everywhere in a horrible pink blinged leach 

- doesn’t care about your allergy, shut up 

- actually loves her friends but doesn’t know how to express it 

- kinda the worst tbh, not gonna lie 

Majorine Butters Stotch 

- soft and precious girl 

- can be cold and manipulative if she wants to, but usually only if anyone hurts her friends or loved ones 

- tries so hard to learn how to skate so she can join Kendra but she’s hopeless 

- she’s not too bad on roller-skates tho so there’s that 

- used to get picked on by Erica a lot but once got real vindictive and scared the living shit out of her 

- only the two of them knows about what really happened (Kendra doesn’t even wanna know, she knows her gf can be scary okay) 

- hello kitty stan 

- brings her old Nintendo DS with nintendogs everywhere 

- they’re her babies okay 

[the-quiet-winds]

Up With You All Night

[angst-ish.]

“This is really where we’re at now?”

“Alcohol is the only constant in my life.”

“You know this isn’t healthy,” Anne warns.

“So?” A half-slurred, half-painful giggle comes forth. “Drinking takes the hurt away.”

“Jane,” Anne chides softly, “that’s your third bottle of brandy this week. This isn’t a game anymore.”

With another mirthless laugh, Jane takes a long swig from the glass. “What are you going to do about it?”

“I’m going to get you help,” Anne states, “and we’ll all pull an intervention.”

That seems to catch Jane’s attention. She shakily sets the glass down and braces herself on the countertop. “Please,” she says, voice tiny and broken, “don’t tell the others.”

“What would you like me to do, then?” Anne asks, and her voice is softer now.

Jane turns to her, very, very slowly. Her eyes are red, skin flush, and there’s a quiver in her lips like they may simply shatter at any time.

She looks at Anne, hopelessness and a foreign sort of weakness in her normally confident and fiercely protective eyes. Then, in an unexpected move, she extends her arms, trembling as they are, to Anne in a silent plea.

After the brief moment of confusion passes, Anne steps forward and pulls Jane into a hug. It’s not especially tight or especially confident, but Anne comforting Jane of all people… she’s never been in this situation.

Jane sinks into the embrace. She hides her face in the fabric of Anne’s shirt on her shoulder, biting desperately at her lip to keep from crying. The brandy in her system fogs her mind and loosens her resolve enough to leave her silently weeping in Anne’s arms.

“I miss them,” she chokes out. 

It doesn’t even take Anne a full second to know she’s talking about Edward and Mary, maybe even Elizabeth.

Before Anne can even try to soothe Jane at all, the latter wrenches out of her arms. Anne can’t stop her from grabbing the glass of brandy and swallowing it down in one large swig. She slams it back down to the counter with enough force that the glass chips on the bottom.

“My poor boy,” Jane spits harshly, not facing Anne, “my poor child.”

Anne has to admit, she doesn’t quite know where Jane is going.

“Never to know his own mother.”

Jane’s words are familiar in an odd sort of way. She’s certainly never said them before, but that tone is far too cold and reminds Boleyn of drafty castles and secret affairs.

“Growing up with a king who only wanted him to keep his own name alive.” There’s a darkness in her voice, and it captures Anne enough that she can barely react to pull the brandy bottle away from Jane’s hands as she goes to pour more.

“Dying young,” Jane concludes bitterly. “Barely not a boy but far from a man, then just a body in the ground.”

“Someone’s been working on poetry with Cathy,” Boleyn quips, trying to lighten the mood. Jane all but sneers at her.

She opens her mouth to speak again, when Jane turns to face her fully, a tiredness in her eyes. “If you even think about saying a word about how you had it worse because you lost your head-”

“I wasn’t.”

Jane is caught off guard by the soft resoluteness in Anne’s voice.

“I-”

“I was going to say you should have told us sooner,” Anne continues, “because you shouldn’t have to suffer alone.”

“But you-”

“Yeah,” Anne concedes, “I know.”

It doesn’t take more than that. Anne isn’t mad. She knows Jane. She knows that it’s the alcohol scraping her emotions out of her stomach and forcing them out. This is guilt held for nearly 500 years. She deserves to let it out.

Anne offers a hand. “Come on,” she says softly.

Jane is utterly confused as to why Anne is being so kind to her, under this aggressive fog of the influence, but allows herself to be led up to her bedroom.

Anne all but forces her to lay down under the covers before dipping out of the room. Just as Jane is about to follow to investigate, Anne returns with a water bottle and a tissue with some painkillers on it.

“For the morning,” she says vaguely, setting it on Jane’s nightside table before inviting herself to lie beside the blonde queen.

The world is slowly coming back into focus, and Jane’s harsh and bitter words return to her to nibble at her conscious. “Anne, I’m sorry-”

Anne hushes her softly. “It’s okay,” she promises softly. “No harm done.” She gives a low, unamused chuckle. “Heard worse.”

“I shouldn’t have assumed and said what I said, regardless,” Jane contests.

“You’re a little under the influence,” Anne says, “I know you’re hurting, but this isn’t the way to cope.”

“What am I supposed to do?”

The question is so obvious, the answer even more so. Anne smiles softly. “You lean on us.”

“But all of you have your own baggage and I don’t want to seem-”

Anne cuts into Jane’s quiet ramble. “You have baggage too. And you should be allowed to address that, no matter what we say on the stage.” She shifts closer. “I know I’m a jerk to you onstage, making everything about me and all that. But you’re strong, Jane Seymour,” she says, a soft earnestness that shoots right to Jane’s heart, “stronger than any of us give you credit for. You went more than we’ve ever thought about, and you deserve to be able to deal with it. But this,” she gestures to Jane’s light intoxication, “isn’t the way to do it.”

Jane looks ashamed, a dark blush streaking down her cheeks and neck. “I know,” she says, “but it’s easy.”

“Tomorrow,” Anne says softly, “we’ll hash this out as a family, alright?” At Jane’s slightly confused expression, she goes on. “We’re going to help you.” She leans forward and presses a soft kiss to Jane’s cheek. “Whatever you want to say you’ll be able to. But there’s one condition.” Jane creases her eyebrows, but nods. “No alcohol.”

The scarlet blush deepens, if that’s possible. “Okay,” Jane whispers. “Tomorrow.”

“For now,” Anne says, moving closer to Jane. “You need to sleep.”

Jane raises an eyebrow. “And I have a feeling that you are going to stay?”

Anne’s smile is radiant, even in the dark. “You can’t get rid of me that easily, Seymour.”

And the next day, Jane Seymour lays out her soul for the five women of her family to judge. They don’t. They support and care and put the pieces together until nothing is wrong anymore.

Well, that last part isn’t quite possible.

And just like that, it’s like nothing was ever different, yet it wasn’t the same either. 

[requested by anonymous]

———————————————————————————————————–

tag list: @percabeth15 @kats-seymour @qualquercoisa945 @jane-fucking-seymour @a-slightly-cracked-egg @justqueentingz @annabanana2401 @wolfies-chew-toy @broad-way-13 @tvandmusicals @lailaliquorice @aimieallenatkinson @sweet-child-why03 @gaylinda-of-the-upper-uplands @funky-lesbians @thinkaboutitmaybe @hansholbeingoesaroundzeworld @anaamess @beeskneeshuh @prick-up-ur-ears@theartoflazy @justqueentwo  @brother-orion @paleshadowofadragon @lafemmestars @beautifulashes17@jarneiarichardnxel @idkimbadwithusernamesandstuff @sixcago@mixer1323 @boleynssixthfinger @aimieallen @elphiesdance@boleynthebunny @krystalhuntress @lupin-loves-chocolate @bellacardoza16 @bluify

[writethehousedown]

Bottled Up Feelings, Chapter Five: I’ll Be Alright (Cheryl/Blu) -  Zyan (5/7)

a/n: we’re getting to the end of the week and I Don’t Want To. Today’s chapter title is for the Ariana Grande song, Be Alright. It was on Cheryl’s BBC spotify playlist, and it inspired me while I was writing. Enjoy!

Chapter Five: I’ll Be Alright

DDC: I have something to tell you. Meet me for lunch at the Italian place near your studio?

Cheryl blinked repeatedly, typing out an answer with one hand, as she held her coffee mug with the other.

“G’morning,” Blu said, dragging herself into the kitchen, still half-asleep. Cheryl mumbled a ‘Good morning’ without looking up. “Remember that today we have a meeting with the seamstress in charge of the costumes for the Valentine’s Day show at four.”

Something inside Cheryl felt different when she heard Blu say we, and she couldn’t bring herself to correct her, besides, it didn’t really bother her. If anything, she liked it — more than she should have.

A brief thought crossed her mind that startled her; she was starting to like Blu, and not as a friend.

She couldn’t allow herself to feel that, due to the fact that one day Blu would be gone - maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow - but one day she’d leave for forever and, if Cheryl was to allow herself to have feelings for her, she’d end up heartbroken and everything would remind her of Blu — the domestic bliss they’d lived in being something Cheryl wished to have once she met someone special.

(She’d once thought it could be Vivienne, but lately she wasn’t thinking that much about her, the “playing Cupid” plan completely forgotten after that night they ran into her.)

But she still smiled and gave a small nod.

“Divina invited me to have lunch today. Do you mind staying at the studio?” She requested, and Blu’s brows were immediately knit in a frown.

“Chez, you know the rules say—”

“Please, just for this time. It’s near the studio and I’ll be back before you notice!” Cheryl pleaded, putting on the best puppy eyes she could muster, followed by a pout. Blu was chewing on her lower lip, her expression full of doubt.

In the end, she gave a defeated sigh.

“Fine. Jesus, Chez, I swear I can’t say no when you look at me like that.” Blu folded her arms, dramatically looking away. Cheryl laughed softly, her heart making a jump when she noticed the rosy tone on Blu’s pale cheeks.

*

When Divina pulled Cheryl into a hug when greeting, Cheryl sensed something was wrong. Divina always hugged her tightly, with a small smile against her hair, instantly lifting up her mood. This time, Divina’s grip was lose, her hands were shaky, and she could notice the forced smile.

“How are you, love? How are things going at your new job?” Cheryl inquired, taking a seat and briefly studying the menu. Divina shrugged, fidgeting with her rings.

“It’s been good, my co-workers are nice, and my secretary is a gal fresh from college that stares at the intern across the hallway whenever I’m not looking,” she rambled with a giggle, making Cheryl laugh softly.

A waitress swung by to take their orders, leaving shortly after. There was a moment of silence as they sipped their drinks.

“You got anything new to tell me?” Divina inquired with a suspicious tone, like a mother inquiring their child about something they clearly knew they’d done.

“Not really, no; perhaps the only new thing is that we’ve already printed the tickets for the Valentine’s Day show and today we’re meeting the seamstress to check how she’s holding up,” she replied with a casual tone, but Divina furrowed her brow in confusion.

“We? Have you finally hired someone to assist you running that madhouse you call dance studio?”

Cheryl froze with the glass of  lingering at her lips. Shit.

She thought about lying to Divina for a moment, but she quickly discarded that idea; Divina could tell when someone was lying better than anyone.

She had no choice but to tell her the truth — well, half of it.

“I have. It’s Blu, the girl I brought to our last meeting; she needed a job and I needed help.” Cheryl shrugged, taking a sip of her drink. Divina’s expression softened, a small smile appearing.

“She looks like a nice girl, I really liked her,” she admitted, chewing on the inside of her cheek, going back to fidgeting with her rings. “And I noticed the way she looked at you.”

Cheryl opened her eyes widely with a mix of surprise and a warm feeling she couldn’t name in her chest. She leaned forward in her chair, locking eyes with Divina.

“What do you mean? How was the looking at me?” She asked, sounding more excited than she intended to.

Divina smiled softly. “Like one would look at a hopeless crush, maybe a High School one, that they never got to confess their feelings to,” she said in a sing-sang tone.

Cheryl blushed violently and dismissed Divina’s words with a wave of her hand.

“You were probably seeing things, ‘cause I’m dead sure Blu doesn’t feel anything for me,” Cheryl stated. Divina stifled a giggle and was about to say something when Cheryl remembered why they were there. “Didn’t you have something to tell me, anyway?”

Divina’s whole demeanour changed. She could tell that what she was about to say wasn’t good.

“Yeah, about that… Do you want the long story or straight to the point?”

Cheryl shrugged. “Straight to the point, I guess.”

Divina breathed in deeply before dropping the bomb.

“Vivienne’s dating her secretary, Barbara.”

It amazed Cheryl how she didn’t feel what she should normally feel in this type of situations, instead - a faint feeling of disappointment settled in her chest, contrary to the heart break she supposed she should be feeling.

Before she could say anything, the waitress was back with their orders, and Cheryl twirled the spaghetti in her fork for a long minute before speaking.

“How’d you know that?” She asked calmly, a calmness that Divina mistook as bottling up her feelings.

“My secretary Georgia looks like a quiet girl, but she knows businesses of everyone in the office. I didn’t even have to ask her what was going on between Vivienne and her secretary - she just told me when she noticed I’d been staring at her,” Divina went on, pinching her ravioli. Cheryl nodded slowly, prompting her to go on.

Divina locked eyes with her, perhaps expecting to see her eyes go red or her lip quiver. Cheryl’s face was expressionless.

“She said everyone in the office could tell it was kind of a mutual pinning thing. Apparently they went on a date last week; Barbara told Kat, the intern, and she told Georgia over lunch break, and Georgia told me,” she finished, reaching for Cheryl’s hands across the table and squeezing it. “I’m sorry, love, I know you never got an answer from her.”

Cheryl stroked Divina’s hand back, but she wasn’t there completely.

“She invited her to a date after she saw me with Blu,” she thought after realizing the time matched. She couldn’t believe it — and she saw her face every other day when she picked Lily up!

“She’s a bitch,” Cheryl declared, taking a mouthful of spaghetti. Divina cocked a brow, surprised.

“That’s all you have to say?” She inquired, taking a bite of the ravioli. Cheryl nodded with a shrug. “I thought you’d shed a tear or two, honestly. I’m proud of you, though,” she admitted with a smile.

Cheryl swallowed and thought about the warm feeling in her chest whenever she saw Blu.

She looked at Divina and smiled, reaching for her hand.

“I think I’ll be fine.”

*

“Blu, I’m back,” Cheryl exclaimed, entering the studio, but Blu wasn’t in the main hall. She frowned slightly, heading to the dancehall, hearing classical music coming from it.

She barely opened the door to peek inside, and she saw Blu doing the ballet choreography they taught the kids for the show. It didn’t matter that it was the simplest thing ever - Blu made the dance look absolutely delicate and ethereal, looking like she was floating on air.

Cheryl didn’t dare to step inside and abruptly ruin this moment, so she allowed herself to stare at Blu for as long as the choreography lasted.

Suddenly, with her heart hammering against her chest, Cheryl realized she might’ve fallen for Blu.

tags: cheryl hole, blu hydrangea, divina de campo, slow burn, lesbian au, genie au

DDC: I have something to tell you. Meet me for lunch at the Italian place near your studio?

Cheryl blinked repeatedly, typing out an answer with one hand, as she held her coffee mug with the other.

“G’morning,” Blu said, dragging herself into the kitchen, still half-asleep. Cheryl mumbled a 'Good morning’ without looking up. “Remember that today we have a meeting with the seamstress in charge of the costumes for the Valentine’s Day show at four.”

Something inside Cheryl felt different when she heard Blu say we, and she couldn’t bring herself to correct her, besides, it didn’t really bother her. If anything, she liked it — more than she should have.

A brief thought crossed her mind that startled her; she was starting to like Blu, and not as a friend.

She couldn’t allow herself to feel that, due to the fact that one day Blu would be gone - maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow - but one day she’d leave for forever and, if Cheryl was to allow herself to have feelings for her, she’d end up heartbroken and everything would remind her of Blu — the domestic bliss they’d lived in being something Cheryl wished to have once she met someone special.

(She’d once thought it could be Vivienne, but lately she wasn’t thinking that much about her, the “playing Cupid” plan completely forgotten after that night they ran into her.)

But she still smiled and gave a small nod.

“Divina invited me to have lunch today. Do you mind staying at the studio?” She requested, and Blu’s brows were immediately knit in a frown.

“Chez, you know the rules say—”

“Please, just for this time. It’s near the studio and I’ll be back before you notice!” Cheryl pleaded, putting on the best puppy eyes she could muster, followed by a pout. Blu was chewing on her lower lip, her expression full of doubt.

In the end, she gave a defeated sigh.

“Fine. Jesus, Chez, I swear I can’t say no when you look at me like that.” Blu folded her arms, dramatically looking away. Cheryl laughed softly, her heart making a jump when she noticed the rosy tone on Blu’s pale cheeks.

*

When Divina pulled Cheryl into a hug when greeting, Cheryl sensed something was wrong. Divina always hugged her tightly, with a small smile against her hair, instantly lifting up her mood. This time, Divina’s grip was lose, her hands were shaky, and she could notice the forced smile.

“How are you, love? How are things going at your new job?” Cheryl inquired, taking a seat and briefly studying the menu. Divina shrugged, fidgeting with her rings.

“It’s been good, my co-workers are nice, and my secretary is a gal fresh from college that stares at the intern across the hallway whenever I’m not looking,” she rambled with a giggle, making Cheryl laugh softly.

A waitress swung by to take their orders, leaving shortly after. There was a moment of silence as they sipped their drinks.

“You got anything new to tell me?” Divina inquired with a suspicious tone, like a mother inquiring their child about something they clearly knew they’d done.

“Not really, no; perhaps the only new thing is that we’ve already printed the tickets for the Valentine’s Day show and today we’re meeting the seamstress to check how she’s holding up,” she replied with a casual tone, but Divina furrowed her brow in confusion.

“We? Have you finally hired someone to assist you running that madhouse you call dance studio?”

Cheryl froze with the glass of  lingering at her lips. Shit.

She thought about lying to Divina for a moment, but she quickly discarded that idea; Divina could tell when someone was lying better than anyone.

She had no choice but to tell her the truth — well, half of it.

“I have. It’s Blu, the girl I brought to our last meeting; she needed a job and I needed help.” Cheryl shrugged, taking a sip of her drink. Divina’s expression softened, a small smile appearing.

“She looks like a nice girl, I really liked her,” she admitted, chewing on the inside of her cheek, going back to fidgeting with her rings. “And I noticed the way she looked at you.”

Cheryl opened her eyes widely with a mix of surprise and a warm feeling she couldn’t name in her chest. She leaned forward in her chair, locking eyes with Divina.

“What do you mean? How was the looking at me?” She asked, sounding more excited than she intended to.

Divina smiled softly. “Like one would look at a hopeless crush, maybe a High School one, that they never got to confess their feelings to,” she said in a sing-sang tone.

Cheryl blushed violently and dismissed Divina’s words with a wave of her hand.

“You were probably seeing things, ‘cause I’m dead sure Blu doesn’t feel anything for me,” Cheryl stated. Divina stifled a giggle and was about to say something when Cheryl remembered why they were there. “Didn’t you have something to tell me, anyway?”

Divina’s whole demeanour changed. She could tell that what she was about to say wasn’t good.

“Yeah, about that… Do you want the long story or straight to the point?”

Cheryl shrugged. “Straight to the point, I guess.”

Divina breathed in deeply before dropping the bomb.

“Vivienne’s dating her secretary, Barbara.”

It amazed Cheryl how she didn’t feel what she should normally feel in this type of situations, instead - a faint feeling of disappointment settled in her chest, contrary to the heart break she supposed she should be feeling.

Before she could say anything, the waitress was back with their orders, and Cheryl twirled the spaghetti in her fork for a long minute before speaking.

“How’d you know that?” She asked calmly, a calmness that Divina mistook as bottling up her feelings.

“My secretary Georgia looks like a quiet girl, but she knows businesses of everyone in the office. I didn’t even have to ask her what was going on between Vivienne and her secretary - she just told me when she noticed I’d been staring at her,” Divina went on, pinching her ravioli. Cheryl nodded slowly, prompting her to go on.

Divina locked eyes with her, perhaps expecting to see her eyes go red or her lip quiver. Cheryl’s face was expressionless.

“She said everyone in the office could tell it was kind of a mutual pinning thing. Apparently they went on a date last week; Barbara told Kat, the intern, and she told Georgia over lunch break, and Georgia told me,” she finished, reaching for Cheryl’s hands across the table and squeezing it. “I’m sorry, love, I know you never got an answer from her.”

Cheryl stroked Divina’s hand back, but she wasn’t there completely.

“She invited her to a date after she saw me with Blu,” she thought after realizing the time matched. She couldn’t believe it — and she saw her face every other day when she picked Lily up!

“She’s a bitch,” Cheryl declared, taking a mouthful of spaghetti. Divina cocked a brow, surprised.

“That’s all you have to say?” She inquired, taking a bite of the ravioli. Cheryl nodded with a shrug. “I thought you’d shed a tear or two, honestly. I’m proud of you, though,” she admitted with a smile.

Cheryl swallowed and thought about the warm feeling in her chest whenever she saw Blu.

She looked at Divina and smiled, reaching for her hand.

“I think I’ll be fine.”

*

“Blu, I’m back,” Cheryl exclaimed, entering the studio, but Blu wasn’t in the main hall. She frowned slightly, heading to the dancehall, hearing classical music coming from it.

She barely opened the door to peek inside, and she saw Blu doing the ballet choreography they taught the kids for the show. It didn’t matter that it was the simplest thing ever - Blu made the dance look absolutely delicate and ethereal, looking like she was floating on air.

Cheryl didn’t dare to step inside and abruptly ruin this moment, so she allowed herself to stare at Blu for as long as the choreography lasted.

Suddenly, with her heart hammering against her chest, Cheryl realized she might’ve fallen for Blu.