#house was obviously not cis when they started working there

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

I met my friend House this summer and we immediately vibed, and about half a week into our friendship we friended each other on Pokemon Go, and I noticed that their avatar was a woman but I paid little attention to it because I was more concerned with Pokemon. And at this point I was still under the impression that she was a cis guy. But he said something like "Yeah I really like making and customizing the avatars, it's fun," and my brain didn't make the connection that MAYBE THEY WERE TRYING TO DRAW MY ATTENTION TOWARDS THEIR AVATAR TO KIND OF SUBTLY LET ME KNOW THEY'RE NOT CIS but again I was too concerned with the Pokemen and I can't even remember what I said in response, but later I was looking back and thought HOLY SHIT WAIT I THINK SHE WAS TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING and now I know that they're nb.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for slowly ghosting a fwb instead of confronting him when I found out he's been stalking people again?

He (twenties, M) and I (twenties, X) knew each other from college. He's genuinely a fun guy. Also, a cis person being into you as a nonbinary person (as your gender, not despite it) in a non-fetishy way is frankly too powerful. So yeah, we started talking more some time after graduation, and it turned into a digital-only friends-with-benefits situation.

I was wary of him in college, but willing to give him a second chance. It was an open secret among our friend group that he'd stalked a couple of people he was into in college -- resulting in court ordered therapy and a restraining order and everything. I was still mentally/emotionally recovering from an abusive relationship years prior that the ex stalked me after for a few years. So you can see why it was a big deal that I gave this distant friend another chance, willing to get as close to him as I did. I guess I thought that like, the therapy had worked?

Well, fast forward to us being close after college. He doesn't know that I know about his previous two times getting nearly expelled for stalking people. I have not told him anything about my years-ago abusive relationship, but it's possible he has some awareness of it due to mutual friends. I kept firm with a boundary that he will have no more specific geographic information about me than my city, and he's certainly never learning my address. He has no way to know about my more "personal" social media like Tumblr. I am protecting myself.

But a few months into us being fwb and having fun and me repeatedly asserting my boundaries regarding irl interaction. He complains to me that someone is claiming that he's stalking them. I casually ask about the situation, assert that yeah what he's doing is shitty, he should stop, and it does sound like stalking (even though he insists it isn't). We never talk about it again.

He started showing up in my trauma nightmares, and suddenly the second chance I gave him seems like a terrible idea. So, over the next few months, I make a planned retreat. I respond less frequently, less promptly, and with less emotion. I planned out my strategy by the week to look like a natural loss of interest, or a natural "got busy with other stuff."

My logic is that he clearly has not learned to stop stalking people. I am not willing to continue exposing myself to that personal risk. But I am also not willing to say "I refuse to remain friends with an unrepentant stalker." I'm afraid that if I do that, he will get the wrong lesson: that he needs to never admit to any other friend what he's done, or else he'll lose them. The right lesson obviously would be: don't follow people to their houses after they've cut contact and don't send them letters asking whether they're living alone again yet, what the fuck. I am afraid that if I tell him why I'm ghosting, he will simply never talk about this pattern ever again, thus removing the ability of future friends like me to make informed decisions about who they're spending their time with.

We're now one year into when I fully ended contact. I did not block him. I still get two texts a week from him -- sometimes "are you okay" sometimes life updates, usually just "hey". He has made no indications that he has visited the city where I live, thank god. I have not explained to any of our mutual friends what I did. I have not talked to anyone, not my therapist not my spouse, about what I did. I am not going to speak to him again, but I am not going to block him, because I need my cutting contact to look natural.

So yeah. AITA for not making a bigger deal of his continued stalking of other people? In my mind I'm protecting myself, and reducing the likelihood he'll start hiding his nature from future friends, so this way they can be informed and protect themselves as needed. But AITA for lowkey ghosting him instead of having a serious conversation about his behavior? I know he sucks. I just don't know if I also suck.

What are these acronyms?

[creep1ngdeath]

Request by @h0rrorbl0gs on my old account

“Steve harrington x male reader who super sweet headcannons”

Steve Harrington x Sweet/Kind!Male!Reader Headcannons

Author’s Note: Hi I’m sorry this took a week- hope you enjoy it

Cis Women/Fem Aligned DNI, this isn’t for you!

-After he broke up with Nancy he was heartbroken, but you were always there to comfort him and assure him that he’ll find someone else

-He did find someone else, it was you

-Although you liked Steve back you didn’t want to be just his rebound love, so you waited awhile before actually getting into a relationship with him

-Steve was very confused when feelings towards you, he had to go and ask Robin for help

“What are you doing at my house, Dingus?” Robin asked as she opened the door. Steve gave her an awkward smile, “Can we uh- talk… Somewhere private?” Steve asked, stumbling over his words as he spoke. Robin gave him a weird look before inviting him inside. 

“Alright what is it?” Robin asked while closing the door to her room. Steve sat down on the bed and started fidgeting with his hair. “I think I like this boy... He’s funny, sweet, and gets along with everyone.” Steve smiled while talking, “He’s always there for me… I think I really do like him… I’m not gay though, I like him how I liked Nancy but I still like girls. I guess I like both, but that can’t be possible right? It’s just one or the other.” Robin smirked, “There’s something called bisexuality. And what you described there is exactly what being bisexual is. You like more than one gender which is entirely possible, Dingus,” She looked at her friend who seemed completely lost. “Wait, can you repeat that all over again?” He asked. 

“Okay so I’m…” Steve took a moment to think, “Bisexual?” Robin jumped in, “Right- I’m bisexual…” Steve repeated. The thought of liking boys scared him. It was nothing to do with you as a person but what were people going to think? Him. The King of Hawkin’s High was into boys. His parents, specifically his father would be furious if he ever found out. “Hello? Earth to Steve Harrington?” Robin waved her hand in front of his face. “Yeah what’s up Rob’s?” He was pulled out of his thoughts. “Tell me about this boy you like,” she said. 

-By the time Steve was done talking Robin already knew it was you

-Robin had to reassure Steve that you liked him back. Since Robin was you only gay friend that at least you knew of, you’d spend time just talking about your crushes. You obviously spent the whole time talking about Steve

-When Steve finally had the courage to ask you out, the information eventually got to the kids and they’d try to reenact what they thought happened. 

-“Are you gay because I want to go on a date with you,” Lucas said, trying his best to sound like Steve. “Yes Steve! I’m in love with you!” Max responded. Steve would roll his eyes and tell them that’s not what happened

-Will immediately went to go talk to you after he found out you also liked boys. He knew that he didn’t like girls and always felt out of place because of it, so when he saw you and Steve together he instantly went to you help about his sexuality 

-You gladly helped Will, and reassured him that it’s okay to be gay

-Steve really loves how you get along with all the kids

-Sometimes the kids try to stalk you two on your date. They’ll take a pair of binoculars and spy on you through the windows. It always results in them being caught

-Steve gets jealous easily but will never let it show, he’s insecure now since he lost Nancy to Jonathan 

-You do eventually find out about how he’s scared of losing you to someone else so you told him that the two of you will work on his insecurity together

-His parents are away a lot, so you stay over at his house often to keep him company. The two of you would fall asleep cuddling on the couch while watching tv a lot

-The Byers 100% always throw parties over winter break for the holidays. You always get invited to them so you bring Steve along knowing that he won’t be doing anything with his family for the holidays

-He likes to do a funny little dance to whatever’s on the radio which makes you laugh 

-Steve really loves to see your laugh and smile, he thinks it’s cute and will instantly make his day better

-Steve isn’t used to not being able to hold your hand or kiss you out in public since he’s never dated a boy before, you have to give him gentle reminders that you guys are in public

-Lots of kisses when it’s just the two of you

-When all the stuff happens in the upside down, Steve will do his best to protect you, he always wants you by his side and will constantly keep an eye out of you

[our-trans-youth-experience]

Hi. My name is Angel, I go by all pronouns (neos & xenos included), I'm genderfluid and I'm 16 years old.

This is an interesting experience of mine, because I reflect about it and I realise “wow, if my parents raised me with both girl and boy shit, maybe I would have realised I'm trans sooner”.

Basically, I was raised as a girl all my lifetime. From my childhood to now, I'm raised and referred to as a girl even tho I already know I'm not. But here's a tiny little event that happened to me when I was 8 and in 3th grade:

There was a gymkhana at my school, and there was a crossdressing challenge. Boys would wear girls clothing and vice versa.

When my class was preparing, they choose me to use the boys clothing (it was my fault by the way, because my curious ass was the nearest to the box that had the outfits 😭) and I was like: “What? Why me, I ain't got nothin to do with this shit! >=(” I tried to protest, but they shushed me because we had little time.

And that's how I was Pedro for the first and last two minutes of my life.

I was angry, obviously. But the difference is, I thought it was because they were masculine outfits and not because I was floating in these senseless game, specially after I overheard my dad and my brother talking about how sinful it was to use clothes for the opposite gender. I deadass thought the gymkhana forced me to sin, whathafuckkk☠️☠️☠️☠️

But in reality, I was like “Quit this drama, crunchy looking ass.” when a boy said he felt ridiculous when wearing the women's clothing.

That teenage boy was having gender dysphoria over the opposite gender clothing. I wasn't. Every other cis person was uncomfortable wearing clothes they normally wouldn't wear at that situation. I was the only one who was upset over being shoved onto something I had nothing to do instead of the outfit I was wearing and the name I was using for two minutes.

And looking back, I realise that I didn't show many genderqueer traits as a kid because I wasn't able to, nor given the opportunity (the only time I did that as a child was walking on the streets shirtless and I got reprimanded by my parents for that (understandable, on the one hand, cause my breasts were starting to develop and I had gone to a neighbor's house that they didn't trust)). I didn't show genderfluid traits as a kid because the only option I had was femininity and nothing else.

Help, in conclusion, I was never a cis girl after all. I was always trans. And even if Pedro didn't had much effect on my journey, I really have to thank him for this experience and the reflections around it. =3

I'm glad you have worked out who you are, thanks for sharing your experience!

[trash-and-trash-accessories]

I don't want to be an alarmist. I don't want to run around screaming "the sky is falling" all the time.

But that's who and what I am.

I'm a queer Jewish anarchist living in a red state.

And it's time to start screaming.

There WILL be another far-right coup attempt in 2024. And with 6 supreme court seats and a house speaker, it will likely succeed.

With the courts packed, no military coup is required. An electoral coup utilizing the courts can, has, and likely will happen in the US. They have been preparing for this.

If this far-right coup is successful, we are looking at a ramping up of the already in-progress genocide which begins with queer people but will likely ramp up against the Latino community specifically, Jews, and other marginalized communities.

What can we do?

Well, the things that can be done at this point I can't say online. The short answer is, a full-blown people's revolution. Which is unlikely.

Joining activist groups already working on this will help, joining or founding mutual aid networks is vital, organizing and involving yourself in your local queer community in person, not just online, and getting involved in activism that way. Fighting and involving yourself in local politics - school boards, sheriffs, city council - can help keep your city safe. If this means running, backing candidates, or showing up to every school board meeting making sure these assholes don't win their censorship fights, do it.

National elections obviously matter, but regardless of who wins this election, the far-right is in position to steal it and overthrow the government anyway. It's very likely they will at least try, and probably succeed. They spent years packing the courts for this moment.

As long as our current supreme court members are alive and in office, we are in immense danger.

In the meantime, just about everyone in our communities needs to have a plan in place to get the fuck out of AT LEAST their conservative state, IDEALLY the country.

Flee the country

It can takes months to renew a passport, if you will need to in the next few years, do it now. US passports are self-ID, make the best choice for your safety, whatever that is.

Countries that offer the longest tourist visas (temporary, but get you in fast and some can be as many as 180 days)

See if you can transfer to another country at your workplace, if that's a thing you can do.

Make sure you are fully vaccinated as required by the places you are considering fleeing. Some countries require more/different vaccines than the US.

If leaving the country will be impossible, make connections with people in blue states and try to get there, or prepare to stand your ground and defend yourself and your community. I know most of my fellow Appalachians will be standing our ground. They can pry Appalachia from our dead queer hands. They can try.

Can't leave? Hide or Fight.

Stock up on your medications. Trans femmes have an easier time with this, you can have your cis women friends get a script for spiro via a dermatologist "for hormonal acne", and older women in your circle can easily get estrogen scripts "for menopause". These are also available online more readily, but be careful. Trans mascs may need to have cis men in their lives get t scripts, or take a lower dose of what's prescribed, then when your bloodwork is low, get a higher script than what you need and stockpile. This is medication fraud, and a crime. T is a controlled substance. But do what you gotta do.

Stock up on birth control methods, plan b, and abortion pills if you need them. These will likely be banned. You can get a long-term implant now, or get an additional birth control prescription via an online pharmacy, in addition to the one you are already using to create a stockpile.

Get medical training. Stop The Bleed is available online, for everyone, for free. EMT basic is widely available and relatively affordable.

Get armed, if you can. This especially applies to people running rural queer communes, as is popular in my region. We've all read Parable of the Talents (I hope), they will come for you. Arm, train, and fortify. Develop connections outside your commune who will worry about you if you suddenly go out of contact. You're not safe because you're rural and growing your own food. When they come, you want to at least take them with you.

Save, download, stockpile queer literature, queer websites, and resources that may be destroyed. A lot of people download the entirety of wikipedia. Scrubbing queer content from society will start once the far-right have taken over. That process has already begun on a smaller scale.

Join preexisting activist groups already working against these people, regardless of whether they are specifically queer-focused or not. Building in-person, offline connections will be vital. Information control will be the norm. Online organizing may become impossible.

If necessary and possible, scrub your online information, go deep in the closet, and wait it out. This is impossible for most of us, but it was a valid strategy for a lot of queer people and other minorities during the Holocaust. A lot of people survived by pretending to be something they weren't and simply waiting it out, obfuscating and working against the fascists when they could, and surviving to tell the story. Not everyone is a revolutionary. This often involved lesbian couples marrying gay men. Temporary detransition, and simply laying low. Fascist states fall eventually.

[siriusly-sapphic]

thoughts on nobleflower i need to know i have so much in my brain

Oh oh oh! Yes!

Okay so I'm a little sick and my thoughts about anything Narcissa femslash related are usually already all over the place so? Bear with me while I type this on my phone?

First: let me establish the specific setting. Since I tend to mess about with Narcissa's age a little depending on the ship bc the canon Black family tree is a right mess that I've decided I can do whatever I want with. For alicissa tho, I tend to just go with Narcissa being 4/5 years older than the marauders, and Alice being like a year older than Narcissa.

And as for any Narcissa headcanon I have, I'm writing this with the idea of trans!narcissa in mind, though it works very similarly if you imagine her as cis. If you want more context for how I see trans!narcissa in canon compliant settings, I have a 7K meta post here but it's not necessary for this (I just like linking it).

Also we're going with some canon compliancy here. No happy endings today.

So.

Alicissa is one of those ships that, for me, starts out genuinely cute. Like... dorcissa starts out as denial and rivalry, narlily can end cute but starts messy. Alicissa starts sweet. It starts hopeful.

It starts in an icecream shop.

I'd say it starts the summer before Narcissa's 5th year, which is the time I headcanon she comes out as trans and has begun her transition. Which means 1. She is quite terrified of making 'another' mistake to embarrass her family and 2. The scariest moments of her life have just been blasted over Witch Weekly and the Daily Prophet. She is scared, she's being very brave about it, and she gets mean when she's nervous. (Well. Meaner than usual.)

Alice has a type of girl she loves and that type is brave and mean and a little sassy.

So you know, when Narcissa comes into Florean Fortescue's, ignores all the stares she gets, and gets snappy when Alice teases her about mint-chocolate chip being the worst flavour to order.... what choice does she really have except to fall in love right then and there?

And I think on Narcissa's side, developing any crush on a girl will always come with a bit of angst. Because from the moment she transitions, she has a very clear path in mind of what to do and what to be in order to make her family proud of them again. (I could go into more detail, but honestly for that if you're interested see the meta linked above.) And dating girls... not a part of that plan.

But she wants to.

And Alice makes it easier to be brave.

They're prefects in different years and different houses and they're good at keeping secrets and Narcissa can get Kingsley, the head boy, to move the prefect schedule so that she and Alice have rounds together. (She knows that Kingsley's into Rodolphus Lestrange like no other, and like I said. She can be a little mean.)

And I think that for that first year. The first two years, even, when they’re still at school and life hasn't gotten quite so tainted with war yet? They're happy. And they're cute. And it feels good. Like it can last.

It can't. Obviously.

One headcanon is that Narcissa starts struggling in school bc yknow she's going through some shit, and maybe there's a subject or two she's never been a natural at and is now falling behind in, and it just so happens that Alice is really good at that. So they can meet publicly in the library while Alice tutors her and Narcissa struggles to get over her embarrassment for needing a tutor.

Narcissa has only ever missed one quidditch game (she hates the game, but her best friends are the Lestrange brothers (oh yes that gets painful later) and they play on the team, sonshe has to go). That's the game Alice convinces her to come into the Gryffindor common room while everyone is gone and they make out in front of the fireplace.

They almost get caught. Narcissa avoids her for about a week. They never take that risk again.

And then the war. Alice graduates first, and I see her as being quite determined to make a difference in the war and unsure how to do it. Obviously the Order is a very secret organisation, and she doesn't know about it immediately, so she becomes an auror.

That's also where she meets her future husband Frank Longbottom (bless that man).

Meanwhile Narcissa is a seventh year, her best friends are losing their parents and are drowning in it and she is trying to balance NEWTs and helping the Lestrange twins and the ever important thing of Not Disappointing Her Parents (Again).

I think, however unjustly so, she starts blaming it on Alice for leaving. Which is obviously not actually Alice's fault bc that's just how gradustion works, but it's easier to blame a girl with who it never could've worked out (and maybe shouldn't have worked out as long as it did), than it is to realise that this is just a shitty collection of circumstances. Or worse, to blame her family. She can never blame her family. (She feels she owes her family too much to blame them)

So by the time Narcissa graduates, she's planning an engagement with Rabastan Lestrange that will fall through soon enough and she hasn't told Alice about yet. Alice, at that point, is an auror who's working together with Frank and feels so very betrayed when she does find out about Narcissa's engagement.

It's one of those things that has always been inevitable. But that Alice couldn't help but secretly hope wouldn't happen anyway.

And I think that's where it goes wrong.

Because Alice tells her not to marry Rabastan, around the same time that Rabastan is trying very hard to destroy everything good in his life because grief isn't kind, and Narcissa is the best damn thing to have happened to him. Druella Black ("you should do better than a miserable second son"), Alice Fortescue ("just get away from all of it"), and Rabastan Lestrange ("why are we bothering anyway?") himself, all tell her to break off an engagement that brought her SO much joy when it became reality.

And so Narcissa decides to hate all of them for it.

Except she can’t. Obviously. But she decides she does anyway.

Because Druella is still the mother she wants to be proud of her, and Rabastan is still her best friend who she wants to protect, and Alice is still the first person she ever really fell in love with. She can’t hate them. But she wants to.

But I think that strains alicissa's relationship a lot. Because it shows that Narcissa isn't just mean, she can be cruel and delusional. And it makes it clear that it doesn’t really matter how much Narcissa loves Alice (because she does. She really does.) Because as brave as Narcissa can be, she's a scared young woman who seeks to protect herself. And protecting herself in pureblood society means marrying a suitable pureblood wizard. It doesn’t mean running away with a halfblood witch and hoping life turns out alright.

Narcissa has always protected herself by planning ahead and following her plan. Alice doesn’t fit into that. And Alice isn't the type of woman who will wait around to see if Narcissa's plans change.

So when Narcissa gets engaged to Lucius Malfoy, and her happy and perfect smile is all over the Daily Prophet, Alice accepts Frank's invitation for a date.

And for a while that's that.

There's some looks, because Frank is a Longbottom and while he's on his way to become a traitor, his great aunt was a Black and he still gets invited to notable pureblood events. Not for long, but long enough. There are some strained conversations and longing glances and even, once or twice, guilt-ridden hookups when their respective husbands are out.

Alice feels a whole lot more terrible about that than Narcissa does. She loves Frank. I swear she does.

Alice is a renowned auror and joins the Order and is a genuine danger to any death eater who comes her way. Narcissa is terrified every day that her husband might die at her lover's hands — or god forbid the other way around.

Alice grows to hate Narcissa during that war. Because how dare she attend charity galas to safekeep the victims of a war, when she damn well knows it's her friends and family waging that war. The hypocrisy and the cruelty too much.

Alice likes her women brave and a little mean. Not cowardly and cruel.

They become mothers around the same time. Two months apart. When they’re both pregnant, they see each other occasionally in the same maternity shops and healer waiting rooms. There's a kinship there and this very strong desire for a closer bond, that ultimately can't withstand the hatred and the mistrust that the war and Narcissa's choices have brought upon them.

And then the war is over.

Narcissa and Lucius manage to escape any time in azkaban. Alice and Frank can finally settle and mourn their loved ones. All four of them can look at these beautiful young boys in their arms and hope with all their might that their lives will be easier.

(It’s unclear when the attack on the Longbottoms happened. We know it happened after the war, and we know it happened when people had just begun feeling safe again. We know there was enough time for Crouch sr to start greying by the time the Lestranges were put on trial.)

But that wrecks Narcissa.

I wanna say that Alice and Narcissa stopped actively seeing each other when the war ended. Alice doesn't want to have an affair when she is genuinely happily married and she has a son. Maybe she's trying for a second child.

But Narcissa’s best friends in the world. The family I tend to describe as "what the Potters and James were to Sirius, the Lestranges and Rodolphus were to Narcissa". And her sister. Two of whom knew just how fucking important Alice Fortescue was to Narcissa, once upon a time.

I genuinely don't think Narcissa believed it, when the Lestranges were first accused of that crime. I don't think she wanted to believe them capable of it. And when it turned out to be true.... I have so many thoughts about that connection I could fill another and longer post. But it wrecks her.

Narcissa only visits Alice once.

It's under the guise of "seeing what her sister has done, to put it behind her". Augusta Longbottom is there, in absolute pieces because her only son is gone. Neville is there, Draco's age. Alice doesn't recognise her. Narcissa thinks it might be better that way.

Narcissa just really doesn't belong there. And she doesn't belong there because of her own choices, her own mistakes. And I think that realisation breaks her even further.

Only one of them remembere what they used to be, and Narcissa selfishly wishes that it wasn't her.

Okay and this is getting long so. The rest is just little moments of pain. Draco writing home about how stupid this Longbottom kid is? The absolute guilt of knowing her darling boy is bullying the son of the woman Narcissa loved most? Post war, when maybe Neville is old enough to want to know more about Alice and find out that there aren’t many people alive who remember Alice when she was young. But Narcissa does.

And don't even get me started on the Lestranges escaping Azkaban. That's agony right there. I have no time. But also I have SO many thoughts and all of them heard more than the other so one day I'll inflict them on others.

This became so long I'm sorry lmao, but I hope you like the thoughts. This is why happier fix it AUs exists.

[decolonize-the-left]

(sorry this got so long and no hard feelings if you don’t even read it.)

i think some people urgently need a refresher on what privilege is, because it isn’t, “you didn’t experience pain/trauma/harm” or,“you experienced pain/trauma/harm but it doesn’t matter (and/or you are a bad person as well)” or EVEN, “your pain/trauma/harm has been assigned a point value and unfortunately you didn’t earn enough to win gold in the oppression olympics, a thing that is both possible to achieve and normal to want”.

like. i recently went through a nightmare housing situation. i was so stressed by it that i had a major health relapse. i stopped sleeping, i could barely eat, my hair was falling out, i couldn’t think. suicidal ideation became my only consistent activity. and you know what? i still had privilege! immense privilege in fact. because there was a neighbor of mine who lived outside in his car. over the winter - one of the coldest on record - i would listen to him struggling to get the crappy engine going so he could stay warm during my sleepless nights. i was in a home that was in a terrifying state of disrepair and crawling with roaches and black widows, but the heater (kinda) worked and i had blankets and a fridge full of food… and even eventually had the means to get the hell out of there.

my neighbor didn’t.

i grew up knowing out queer kids who got beat, and worse. sometimes by other kids, sometimes by adults, usually their own families. my own father bragged about what he would do if any of his kids were like that. i didn’t fully come out until i was in my 30s, and yes being closeted absolutely messed me up. i still struggle with the desire to “tone it down” and have to remember that i’m not a kid anymore, that i made it to adulthood. some of those kids didn’t. the targeted abuse that out queer people routinely receive started when i had the stability of being an adult who had support structures and a fair bit of autonomy.

being in the closet didn’t spare me from quite a bit of trauma and abuse. it lead to a lot of ongoing pain and disassociation, and i’m not minimizing that. i hope i’m being clear that being in the closet obviously is not analogous to straight or cis privilege, neither of which are things queer people have, ever. but it’s bananas to me that people think there’s no privilege in the relative safety of the closet. in many cases the option of the closet made the difference for those who are in a position to be working on their trauma as adults. many without the painful, damaging, hideous option of the closet aren’t even here today.

(and it also needs to be said for fellow white queer people still not getting it: bigotries exist in this world for which there is. no. closet!)

we can acknowledge that we had the grim benefit of an extremely costly survival strategy which others did not have access to. and we can build solidarity around the fact that mere bruised survival is nowhere fucking near good enough for anyone.

Amen

[bihustle]

Some random BNHA headcanons!

Izuku Midoriya

He's a bisexual cis man. Has anxiety and chronic nerve pain in both arms. Loves children and is planning to adopt some of his own one day. He works to replace the Hero Safety Commission with a better institution. In his off time, he works as a quirk analyst for the police department. After he retires as a hero, he becomes an activist. Specifically champions for laws focused on the rights of quirkless people, anti human trafficking laws, and anti child abuse laws.

Ochako Uraraka

Bisexual cis woman. Mainly works as a rescue hero and opens up her own hero agency with Mina. Continues learning martial arts and helps Gunhead with his lessons sometimes. Absolutely rips U.A. a new one for designing her hero costume the way they did. Works to destroy the idea that woman heroes must appeal to their looks in order to get fame. (Obviously, if a woman chooses that for herself, she's not going to judge because a girl's gotta get that money.) Her fingers start to go numb if she overuses her quirk.

Tsuyu Asui

She is a trans lesbian and is dating her best friend, Habuko. She works as a hero for the Coast Guard and is also a part-time hero at U.A. that teaches students about rescue training. Visits Eraserhead whenever she can. When she was in college, she had to drop out for a time because one of her siblings got chronically sick and her parents were too busy working to take care of them. During that time, the Dekusquad would come over to keep Tsu company or help out around her house. Has a fear of the cold. Can't sit in one place for too long. Has a Coast Guard sanctioned apartment that has its own pool and jungle gym for her to exercise in.

More to come!

[johannestevans]

Bunch of new pieces this week!

Good evening!

Apologies for the lack of email last week, and the lack of bonus erotica episode too - I'm traveling back and forth at the moment as I try to sort out flat stuff, and unfortunately my asthma is kicking my ass at the moment and making it really hard to sit and record audio even when I have the time. I'm hoping after some rest my chest will chill out a bit and I'll be able to record by next week, but unfortunately it's not predictable.

I had a great time at Bristol Pride and met some of you guys, so if that was you, thanks so much for saying hello!

I will be at Leeds Pride in August, too, so looking forward to that.

Before I get to media recommendations and my new works published in the past two weeks, just your reminder that I am now running a trans erotica publication on Medium!

I'm reccing a favourite in my Media Recs section below, but since starting off, there's 20 new erotic pieces there to peruse, and I'm so, so excited to see a broad swathe of authors and works as time goes on and the publication reaches more people.

Trans Erotica on Medium

Please don't feel that you have to be transmasc or MLM to submit just because I am, by the way, I'd love to see more transfem and trans woman authors, as well as lesbians and WLW, submitting too!

Here are the Submission Guidelines, and here's a basic guide to Medium to get you started if you're new to the platform. Want a prompt to get you started? Here's the July 2023 prompt set.

Media Recs

Fashioning a Fop by Damien Locke- Short fiction. An 18th century tale of a trans man discovering himself through dressing in men’s clothing for the first time. This piece is fucking spectacular, so gorgeously written and with such wonderful 1700s-style prose, very hot, very fun!

What's in the Tea? by Achilles King - Short fiction. 18+ Erotica. Cis M/M and Cis M/Trans M. This is a gorgeous little piece playing with massage and the drugging effects of a particular tea, and I love the power play in this one.

The Music Man (1962, dir. Morton DaCosta) - A musical! I've been in the mood for musicals the past few days, and I enjoyed this one a lot more than I expected - a lot of the music has really stuck with me, I love the brass band stuff and the rapid patter pace of the show, especially because I love a conman. With that said, Marian Paroo is a ridiculous name for a woman - the librarian love interest should be a man. I also watched and enjoyed Sweet Charity (1969, dir. Bob Fosse), and I never realised Big Spender was from this show! So that was fun.

I had a gay movie marathon with my boyfriend, Lewis, so first we watched A League Of Their Own (1992, dir. Penny Marshall) and Thelma and Louise (1991, dir. Ridley Scott). These are both great films, obviously - A League of Their Own is a semi-biographical story about the first female baseball league in the USA during the war, and the second is a crime drama with two besties/lovers stuck in an escalating spiral after one of them shoots an attempted rapist. Lewis was surprised that Thelma and Louise is actually gay, so just FYI, it really is actually gay! It's not a happy ending and it's not uncomplicated, but Thelma and Louise are such great characters, and I love them a lot.

We also watched a favourite of mine, which is Gods and Monsters (1998, dir. Bill Condon), starring Ian McKellen and Brendan Fraser. If you love sexy manipulative old gay men fucking with the heads of younger mostly straight men who don't know how to deal with being the object of a man's desire, who are terrified of queerness on so many levels, but are also drawn to the novel and new? Yeah, baby. This is the flick for you.

Goetia (2016) - This is a point-and-click videogame that I played on PS4, although I also have it on PC, and I just finished it today. If you're interested in demonology and you love a 20th century haunted house, this is a short game with some great character writing and a really engaging mystery - a lot of it is pretty fucking creepy, and while the ending didn't entirely land for me, I enjoyed the game enough that I do want to recommend it. This is fucking difficult as a puzzle game, though, so definitely keep a notepad and pen handy.

We also caught the Super Mario Bros. (2023, dir. Michael Jelenic and Aaron Horvath) movie, and it was grand - it was honestly very well-paced, funny, and they did a lot of creative stuff with the source material, plus I'm obviously disgustingly horny for Bowser at all times, so it was good food for my libido.

With that said, it was a bit too aggressive with the heterosexuality, and the racial politics of the whole thing are... Fucking bad. Like, there's a lot to unpack there that I'd need a whole essay to pick apart, and as a white dude I really don't know that it's my place - there's always been some racism in the franchise, like the British studio's addition of a lot of anti-Black coding in making Donkey Kong 64, but just the whole vibe of the Mushroom Kingdom's worship of Princess Peach is like... Weird.

And lastly, I watched and loved The Wicker Man (1973, dir. Robin Hardy), and I have an extensive review below.

New Works Published

June's Top Short Story: Agony and Ecstasy

June's most popular short story of mine was Agony and Ecstasy!

Erotic short. An abbot takes a stranded sailor on for… personal duties.

6k, M/M, rated E! Age difference, virginity kink, some naivety, some oral and anal, first time enthusiasm.

On Medium / / On Patreon

TweetFic: Notes of Lavender

A secretary bonding and connecting with the only male secretary at work. 1960s. Featuring lavender marriages and LESBIANS.

On Twitter

New Podcast: A Stranger's Visit: The Story, Episode 4

Fantasy short. A priest of Freyr receives a strange visitation.

3.6k, rated T. MB. Originally published May 29th, 2021. A little bit of Norse godliness versus Norse priestliness. Featuring Esben. Adapted from a TweetFic.

RSS Feed / / On Spotify / / On Google Podcasts / / On YouTube

New Podcast: Temple Service: The Story, Episode 5

Romance short. A servant at the temple to Hephaestus lusts after an olive-tender.

Rated M, 2.2k, cis M/M, some ancient Greeks! Originally publiushed June 3rd, 2022. A temple servant and a grove-worker, lots of teasing and banter and flirting.

RSS Feed / / On Spotify / / On Google Podcasts / / On YouTube

Romance Short: Sickbed Trade

One sailor tends to another in his sickbed.

Just a little M/M piece with some love and intimacy. 500w.

On Medium / / On Patreon

Film Review: The Wicker Man (1973, dir. Robin Hardy)’s Spit in the Face of Cops and Colonialism

Exploring The Wicker Man’s themes of authority and control on its 50th anniversary.

On Medium / / On Patreon / / On Tumblr

Erotic Short: Intensive Care

A paediatric nurse takes some time after work with the Head of Psychiatry.

3.4k, cis M/M. Some fucky power play between coworkers, both of them very aware of each other’s character flaws, featuring age difference, size difference, riding, oral, anal, lots of physical intimacy and affection, with a hint of overstim at the end.

CW for mentions of past trauma, implied rape and sexual abuse, and incest. None of these things are explicit or present-day, and they’re discussed in the context of unpacking a trigger and some invasive thoughts.

On Medium / / On Patreon

Essay: The Relief of a Queer Audience as a Fruity Stand-Up Comic

Explaining one's existence takes time.

I’m a stand-up comedian.

Last week, I did some comedy at a queer-run, queer-centred open mic — suddenly, a twelve-minute set fit into six, because I was in a room full of queer people who knew exactly what I was talking about...

On Medium / / On Patreon

Erotic Short: Public Performance

A vampire shows off his toy for a club.

1k, cis M/trans M. A vampire fucks his trans boyfriend in a crowded nightclub as people dance below them.

Featuring some chem sex with the drugging effects of a vampire belt, public sex, fingering and vaginal sex, overstimulation, and implications of a fevered gangbang in the aftermath.

On Medium / / On Patreon

[heathersaddict]

Okay... So, a girl in my class (let's call her Maria) discovered I regularly read/write fanfiction. Maria, turns out, also reads fanfiction, and asked me what fandoms I write for. She's a theatre kid, so obviously I felt safe telling her I write for the Heathers fandom (I am a straight, cis woman who unironically writes/reads straight smut, fluff, and one-shots, and she's a bisexual who almost exclusively reads gay/lesbian slow burns or angst, so we are basically two different people). Maria asked me a couple of weeks ago what ships I wrote for, and me being me, I exclusively write Jdronica. Yet, I told her I write Chansaw, and she got all excited and asked what my story was called (We're both in most of the same classes, including the advanced English class, which is exclusively for 'exceptional writers'). I offhandedly gave her my AO3 user, along with my Wattpad, and forgot about it. This Thursday, I'm in class, and I sit down, happen to glance over at her laptop, and see she's got AO3 open. I ask her what she's reading, and she turns in her seat, smiles, and says she's reading my fic.

Apparently, Maria thinks my weird Jdronica pregnancy AU where Veronica gets kicked out of her parents' house, complete with VERY corny writing, is incredible. She goes on to say how it's "Not like writing that an average [ENTER AGE HERE] year old would produce" and that it's "Very fluid, and entertaining."

So... yeah.

It's not like my 10k word, 22/23-chapter long story is kept a secret either. I've been incredibly open about writing in my spare time (I just don't admit that it's fanfiction), and as a result, this has occurred several times, when I offhandedly name-drop a story, I'm working on, and they'll search it up, most of the time not even knowing it's based on a musical/movie and consuming it as original fiction.

Also, that encounter with Maria has inspired me to start drafting a Chansaw fic! Idk if I'll ever write it, but it's in my google docs, so let me know if you'd like to see it!

[petalsfm]

if you’re hearing PARANOID by POST MALONE playing, you have to know HUNTER CLARKE (HE / HIM; CIS MAN) is near by! the TWENTY-EIGHT year old LAWN CARE TECHNICIAN has been in denver for, like, THREE MONTHS. they’re known to be quite SECRETIVE, but being ASTUTE seems to balance that out. or maybe it’s the fact that they resemble NICK ROBINSON. personally, i’d love to know more about them seeing as how they’ve got those THE SMELL OF CIGARETTES AND WEED LINGERING LONG AFTER YOU'VE LEFT, THE ECHO OF AN UNFURNISHED APARTMENT, ALWAYS HAVING YOUR ( WIRED ) EARBUDS IN YOUR EARS, THE FEELING OF THE WIND AGAINST YOUR SKIN AS YOU BIKE AROUND TOWN vibes. and maybe i’ll get my chance if i hang out around the LAKERIDGE DISTRICT long enough!

STATS:

full name :       hunter theodore clarke nickname(s) :     n / a birthplace :      montrose, colorado date of birth :       02 / 14 / 1995 parentage :      georgia hansen clarke & jonathan clarke sibling(s) :      n / a relationship status :     single gender identity :     cis man ( he/him ) sexual orientation :      heterosexual faceclaim :      nick robinson

BACKGROUND: ( tw: emotional abuse, running away, homelessness )

never stays in one place too long. honestly he’s surprised he’s been in denver for 3 months. staying places and making connections isnt really his thing

EMOTIONAL ABUSE TW ! grew up with two parents who had more interest in arguing with each other than raising their own son

hunter was not a bad kid by any means, his parents were simply unfit for their roles. becoming parents at the age of eighteen and twenty-three, they were forced into a shotgun wedding and ended up living in a trailer home. neither of them actually WANTED to be parents-- they didn't want to hear any noise, be disturbed, nor did they want to help him with any problem he may have had-- academic or personal

being the cause of many of their arguments was not good for the young boy. hearing the two scream back and forth about who went wrong in what area of raising their son made it incredibly difficult for him to want to stick around TW END !

so, at the age of fourteen he snuck out in the middle of the night ( with nothing but his birth certificate, social security card, and cash he'd stolen from his parents ) in hopes that everything would just be over

he didn’t have a lot of money and couldn’t officially start working for another two years so he had to improvise. he began going to different neighborhoods and offering to mow the lawns of rich people with yards bigger than his old house. only a few people said yes, but it was enough to keep him afloat for a little bit. 

obviously, once that money was gone he had to look for some other way to at least keep eating. as stupid as it sounds, he resorted to stealing phone chargers and selling them / phone parts for cheap. iphones and galaxy’s were really gaining popularity back then so he was lowkey making bank

he hated stealing but you gotta do what you gotta do sometimes

he didn't really have enough money to leave montrose for awhile so he just hung around parts he knew his parents would never go to

the one place he could find solace was at the few churches he could find that left their doors unlocked overnight. he'd grown accustomed to being a light sleeper, but being able to lay down in the pews and just close his eyes gave him some comfort.

eventually, though, with his limited amount of money, he was able to go back and forth between colorado and utah, just finding any place he could work himself into

as he got older he got into stealing more things because it was easier than trying to get a job ( which is almost impossible when you have no address ) and was definitely almost caught multiple times

once he got enough money ( and barely missed getting arrested ) he skipped town and went to las vegas for awhile. he thought it’d be easier because there are so many people there and he could start a new life. however, he ran out of money quick and couldnt find anyone. he’ll tell you he likes and prefers being on his own but he’s really bad at life without a little help / push in the right direction

so he’s back in colorado!! he found his way to denver back in june, which seemed like the perfect time to get back into the lawn care business

honestly now ?? he’s tired of stealing so he’s probably just mowing grass and pulling weeds to stay afloat. it's the easiest job he can picture for someone who dropped out in the ninth grade

he never means to hurt anyones feelings but if it happens it happens

doesn’t really apologize lol hes GARBAGE!

never ??? sees when hes in the wrong ??? nothing is ever his fault.

MISCELLANEOUS / HEADCANONS: ( tw: drug mention )

has never spoken a coherent sentence in his life

he probably gives everybody a fake name. it started at first because he didn't somehow want his parents to catch wind of where he was ( not like they'd care much ), but continued as he grew older just because he feels his real name isn't actually that important to learn

he also never remembers the names he gives people. you could be calling "james !!! james !!!" and he'd have no clue you were calling him fjdhgfdkjgh

speaking of names, he's horrible at remembering other people's names. you will have to tell him a hundred times

definitely owns an iphone 8 he bought off craigslist. was mad as hell he had to buy a dongle to make his wired earbuds usable, but he's never letting the wired earbuds go.

also, definitely doesn't have any numbers saved in his phone. every time he gets a text his automatic reply is "who's this?" even if there's text history

he steals shit and barely has money but he’s definitely the type to flex on these hoes! smh probably goes into an expensive ass store and tries on a watch, takes a selfie with it, then says hes not gonna buy the watch. if u ever ask him abt it he says he lost it or he chooses not to wear it bc time is a social construct.

really bad with feelings. like so bad. he doesn’t know them. has never felt an emotion ever, actually.

the least confrontational man on the planet. he hears a raised voice? he's gone faster than you can say the fake name he's given you. will literally never argue and has never argued in his life.

his most prized possession is his bike, which is the one nice thing he's ever bought for himself. he doesn’t even want a car he really does not. he’s such a fuckin loser but he just loves riding all around denver. new route every day.

the only piece of furniture he owns is an air mattress that lays in the center of the living room in his studio apartment.

probably always wearing a hoodie. he likes looking ~mysterious~ cus hes a LOSER

trying to save up his money for vegas 2.0 but definitely spends it all on cigs and weed LOL hashtag grown man things

[beautifulblooms]

The Bane of My Existence, and the Object of All My Desires - Eddie Munson x Male!Reader

Male!Reader, he/him used if mentioned, so I got a lot of good reviews on my angst fic I posted earlier called “I Bite My Tongue It’s a Bad Habit”, which will be linked below, this is a part two, it’s a happy ending this time I swear, HOWEVER, there will be a sad ending posted sometime tomorrow when I wake up and write it, I’m just too set on making this end sadly, this is specifically for @alexs-playground and @eddieverse for yelling at me in vc on discord, but here it is, I hope you all enjoy a happy ending to a sad beginning

CIS Women and Female Aligned people, please DNI, this story and all of my others are for non-binary, masculine aligned and male readers!

I Bite My Tongue It’s a Bad Habit (part 1)

I Bite My Tongue It’s a Bad Habit (sad ending/part 2)

Tags: @qthetherapist, @rlmt1

It had been at least three weeks since I left, driving as far as I could on the tank of gas I already had in my car. I made it a few counties outside of Hawkins, got a cheap motel for a few days before I decided to look into a place I could make mine. A few days after being in the motel I found a simple job working the cashier stand at a grocery store, good pay for an easy job. I didn’t even want to think about Eddie, let alone Steve, so I just did my stupid little job and didn’t think of Hawkins.

The only thing I needed was a couple important documents I had left back home, in the one place I never wanted to go back. 7 in the morning I grabbed the same bag I left that shithole with and began to drive down to the familiar place I once loved. It was about 3pm by the time I made it back to Hawkins, another 10 minutes and I was at my old house, door still wide open from when I ran out and left. Parking the car I took a couple of minutes to process what I needed to do and where to go, also taking some deep breaths to remind myself I only needed to grab a couple papers from the safe. I opened the car door and made my way inside, not even bothering to shut the door as I made my way up the stairs and to my bedroom where I was honestly scared by the person laying in my bed. Sure I expected someone to sleep in the house, but I didn’t expect him to be the one laying in my bed at 3:16 on a Saturday, not the reason I left this shit town.

Slowly trying to back out of my room I knocked the door with my shoulder, fuck fuck fuck fuck, shit I need to get out of here quickly. He shot up in an instant after I bumped the door, still obviously waking up but shocked to see me of all people standing in the door way.

“(y-y/n)? Is that really you? Fuck wh-where have you been I’ve was so worried, I-I thought you died.” He stood up from my bed and made his way over to me. I wanted to yell at him to get away, run, find a way out of this but I was frozen. Eddie just hugged me around my middle and cried into my shirt, mumbling things about how much he missed me. “Where did you go, why did you leave, are you okay?” Looking up at me he was blurry eyed, tears coursing down his cheeks, welled in his eyes, face red and puffy, looks like he’d been crying earlier too.

“I’m um, I’m fine, just needed to leave this town, I’m not staying here, just grabbing some legal stuff and I’m going back.” He was starting to cry harder at my words, and began to plead with me.

“But why? Why leave this town, leave everyone, leave me? Why do you have to go far away from me?” I couldn’t take it anymore and just broke away from his arms.

“Because it’s not far enough Eddie! There isn’t a single place on this planet where I can be far enough away from you, my parents raised me well and to be an honorable man. That honor is hanging by a thread and every moment I spent around you was making that worse and worse. You are the bane of my existence, Eddie Munson, and the object of all my attractions. I have loved you since we were in middle school and it hurt so much when I saw you and Steve holding hands, kissing, being together. So yes, I have to go that far away because if I have to spend another minute in a town with you and him together, that’s not a world I want to live in.”

He couldn’t even look at me without more tears welling up, new warm streaks making their way down his cheeks. He began to sob slowly, hair falling in front of his face as he leaned his head down. I didn’t feel bad about what I said, it was relieving to say what I needed to.

“Then…then why didn’t you tell me you did?” He looked back up at me, pleading with his eyes.

“I tried, I asked you on dates, bought you gifts, but you didn’t notice, you always thought it was just me being a great friend.” In that moment I saw him begin to think back to all the things we’d done together, all the things I’d bought for him, everything that involved me. And then he began to laugh, the sobs made it difficult for him but he was still laughing.

“What’s so funny about me confessing to you?” He focused on me again, wiping the tears from his eyes trying to calm his laughter.

“Because this means me and Steve breaking up was a good thing after all.” ….what? They broke up while I was gone? How, why, what? “I caught him kissing someone else at skull rock, we were supposed to meet for a date. I yelled at him and called things off, and I couldn’t think of what to do so I came here to see you, you always knew how to make me feel better. And when you weren’t here I broke down, I thought that I had driven away the one person who actually cared about me in this town. It hurt so much when you didn’t come back, I couldn’t find you, I asked around town. But no one knew where you were.” I just stood there and stared at him, he looked for me, missed me, tried to find me?

“I’m sorry I got too obsessed with Steve, I realized later that I was neglecting you, I shouldn’t have done that and I realized it way too late. I’m so sorry (y/n), can you give me another chance?” I was looking at the floor trying to process everything, he cared about me, he was actually sorry, I need to fix this. I looked up from the floor and slowly approached Eddie, bringing a hand up to rest on his cheek to which he leaned into my hold. Slowly leaning my head down towards him, I paused a mere inch from his lips.

“Do you want this just as much as I do?” He didn’t even respond with words, only pushed his lips the last inch and pulled me into a kiss. It was rough, passionate, but somehow just as soft and caring as I hoped it would be. He only pulled away for a couple seconds at a time, catching his breath before coming back to me and leaving me breathless once more with just his lips. Pulling away again he rested his forehead on my shoulder.

“Does that answer your question?”

[backbeaten]

(  BENJAMIN WADSWORTH  |  CIS-MAN  |  HE/HIM  |  TWENTY-TWO  )  — — —  it's  just  been  another  long  week  in  boring  -  ass  hawkins.  isn't  that  right,  GARETH EMERSON  ?  shit,  i  guess  they  can't  hear  me  over  LOVE BITES  by  JUDAS PRIEST  playing  through  the  headphones  of  their  walkman.  it  looks  like  they're  gonna  be  late  for  WORK  at  RADIO SHACK.  did  you  know  GRIZZ  has  been  in  hawkins  for  SEVENTEEN YEARS  ?  yeah,  their  family  and  friends  describe  them  as  CREATIVE,  but  i've  seen  them  be  SELF-DESTRUCTIVE  too  !  i  would  also  say  they  remind  me  of  neon gas station lights on wet asphalt, liquorice rolling papers, skinned knees, sweat running into your eyes during a drum solo, leaning tight into corners astride a motorbike, briefly defying gravity.  but  is  that  weird  ?  i  guess  nothing's  too  weird  for  this  little  town,  huh  ?  — — — 

pinterest

name : gareth jason emerson

nicknames : grizz, gar, gar-bear, grizzly-adams

age : twenty-two

pronouns : he/him

sexuality : bisexual

birthday : august 30th

birthplace : hawkins, indiana

family : jolene emerson (mother), graham emerson (father), whitney emerson (y. sister), archie emerson † (y. brother)

tattoos & piercings : septum and tongue pierced though mostly hides these unless he’s partying in indianapolis or chicago or with the freaks. inner bicep piece of a black dragon curled around a great sword, roman numerals of archie & whitney’s birthdays on his left wrist, a tiny banana between his pointer finger on the right hand for monkey, his dog. a few ugly stick and pokes and some newer ones that are way less ugly.  

aesthetics : room temperature pizza, spending half your pay check on polaroid film, a wave of good aftershave, headbanging until your neck feels like it’ll snap, letting your little sister paint your nails, engine oil in denim, love bites by judas priest playing faintly from a pair of headphones, dappled sunlight through forest leaves, sweat in your eyes, broken drumsticks, slinging your arm round the neck of your friend who can’t stop laughing, purple red bruises blooming like a valentines bouquet across your ribs, lovingly restoring old vinyl in the garage, the cold brush of a chain dangling from your lover’s neck against your racing pulse, smashing your fist into concrete until the knuckles split, the scent of old paper, cracked spines and well loved books.

never worn a matching pair of socks in his life, gareth liked garage sale paperbacks, pizza rolls and not much else. back in the day, the first five or six years of gareth’s miserable existence, the family had had a nice ranch style place by the woods but then his dad lost his job and they lost the house. from then on the family were usually too on top of one another, grizz always seeming to end up underfoot.

rock and roll’s the devil’s work, obviously. has soundproofed part of their small basement to practice drumming without getting yelled at.

[family death cw] though he never talks about it at all any more, about twelve years ago grizz’s five year old little brother drowned in lake tippecanoe when his dad briefly took his eyes off them. this kind of tore the family up. his mom left when grizz was fourteen, leaving a wad of cash in an envelope in his dresser and asking him to promise to be a ‘good boy’ until she came back. still waiting.

got a job the second he could during high school and has stayed employed ever since, though bounced around a fair bit.

[child abuse cw] his dad rarely goes a couple weeks without spiralling into a rage and physically attacking grizz which has been the same since his sophomore year, he’s just about to try and move out and find his own place after saving for a few years out of high school but he doesn’t want to leave his sixteen year old sister in the house.

used to be on the track team, a very fast runner.

held average grades at the start of high school, got some special attention from his english teacher who believed sincerely that he could do better if he just focused. managed to do pretty well by graduation but lost confidence in himself and his ability to adapt to living anywhere but hawkins because of his inability to pick a college. feels kind of cursed and stuck in roane county.

corroded coffin is his outlet, along with the ice hockey league he sometimes plays in a town over. has a notebook full of polaroids, quotes or lyric ideas scrawled on diner napkins, drive-in theatre tickets, the stamp from clubs in indianapolis and anything else you can think of, that is usually stuffed in the small of his back.

wears a lot of flannel and his extremely battered leather jacket basically every day of the year.

spends tooooons of time carefully painting the miniatures with tiny brushes for eddie’s d&d campaigns. usually plays a monk or a druid.

has a dog that is a mongrel of too many breeds to count named monkey, he has a neckerchief.

drums on every surface. all. the. time.

built a tree house and dugout in the middle of the forest for his friends from fifth to eighth grade, grizz’s dad is a carpenter by trade so he knows his way around.

makes a meaannnnn mac & cheese, is pretty much always down to clown.

pretty handy at fixing most types of motorbike, has been the only person to touch his own bike for about three years.

[crownedmango]

Jay and Silent Bob Headcannons

Figured I’d finally post these here, Probably super unoriginal but shhh

—————————

•Silent Bob is cannonically Gay! As for other things, I think it’s the usual cis male with He/Him pronouns and all that jazz- but he’s slaying regardless

•As for Jay, I’m not sure what his actual confirmed orientation is, but I believe he’s pansexual with a heavy lean towards males/masc presenting (and has definetly struggled with that part of him-)! He probably uses He/They pronouns too- look at him- GNC lookin’ motherfucker

•They sell a shit ton of weed during the pride parades they go to! They adore the events and do practically every activity available to them. Their best seller is the joints rolled in rainbow papers and the multicolored weed inside. They will also beat the ever loving fuck out of cops and assholes trying to cause problems - Somehow they never get hurt during this… probably because someone above is watching them do it with a warm smile on her face

•Jay Doodles, a LOT - All while Silent Bob was using his creativity to be an engineering and tech genius, Jay was focusing on his music and art. The two obviously didn’t go into any job fields, but they still very much have these skills refined. Jay mostly shows his talent off with his constant singing and dancing, but from time to time he’ll get out a sketchbook and pencil and start doodling whatever comes to mind… We’ll just say it’s mostly Silent Bob he draws, he is his muse after all!

•Jay is a loud mouth and Silent Bob is- well- Silent, obviously- but regardless, they sometimes switch these roles and Jay is actually a way better listener than most people think. Silent Bob only ever really talks when he needs to, is telling his Chasing Amy tale, or when it’s just him and Jay and he feels safe

•Jay collects a lot of trinkets. Shiny things, Nerdy stuff, whatever people decide to try and trade in for weed- things like that, and Silent Bob is more than happy to keep it safe in that trench coat of his until they get back to the apartment

•Speaking of said Trench Coat, Jay will hide himself against Silent Bob and keep himself tucked away in said coat and against the other, especially if it’s too cold out. Jay’s gone “missing” on occasion because of this

•You’ve never seen PDA before until you’ve seen these bitches. Yeah normally they’re just standing around, goofing off, but they also end up very handsy with one one another, holding hands, holding one another, kisses, the whole shabang! Anyone interrupts them while it’s happening and they’ll simply gaslight you into believing otherwise or just act like nothing happened

•Silent Bob actually works out quite a bit, so he’s more-so muscle than he is fat, though he’s still got quite a bit of chub - and Jay goes crazy for it despite the more-so “mean” nicknames. Jay always sits and politely (ferally- actually-) watches the other work out - Jay acts as a hype man the whole time and is in charge of the tunes that play

•Jay has a horrible habit of Stealing Silent Bob's shirts to wear around the house on lazy days to the point most of Silent Bob’s wardrobe is in Jays room, and he has to always go in and take all his stuff back

•As mentioned before they’re totally cool with PDA, but sometimes they have to be more discrete due to just how the people around them act and feel about it, so something Silent Bob likes to do is light Jays joints with his Cigarette, and Jay goes crazy for it every single time

•They totally shotgun their joints too

•The only person whose opinions Jay cares about is Silent Bobs, everyone else is practically white noise to him, and he always brushes them off or quips back with something brutal. When Silent Bob has something negative to tell him, gets angry or annoyed with him, anything of the sort, Jay feels like he’s shattered into a million pieces, and it takes him a moment to recollect himself again, and he always goes unnaturally quiet for a while, but the two always have an eventual heart to heart about it, and things are quick to be patched up and worked on. Silent Bob rarely does get upset at Jay though, playfully annoyed at most, as being with the blonde every second of everyday he’s learned extreme patience for the other - especially since Jays mouth always moves faster than his brain 90% of the time

•They always take care of each others hair given how long they have it, however Jay’s usually needs higher maintenance given how blonde and long it is and god knows that man couldn't sit still long enough to take care of it himself (Some Days Silent Bob practically has to wrangle the other in long enough for him enough to even brush it)

•Jay’s very sensitive on the scalp and ears, and people have a terrible habit of trying to feel his hair without asking due to its general length, Softness, and almost impossible golden color, so he constantly makes sure he’s wearing his beanies (he feels naked without them regardless of the touchy problem). The only time he lets someone touch those areas is of course Silent Bob, who always gently works his fingers through the other’s hair and knows just exactly what causes the other to practically melt and purr from the sensation

•Silent Bob and Jay actually both know ASL since Silent Bob is a selective mute, but Silent Bob tends to play charades or use his phone for emojis cause he thinks it’s funnier to make everyone guess

•They slow dance with one another quite a lot - It was one of the few things that caught Jays attention when he’d sit and endure those “stupid romancey chick flicks” that Silent Bob liked to watch, and he had instantly clung onto the idea.. now it’s just something they do every now and again

•Usually Silent Bob does all the fighting on behalf of Jay, since the loud mouth is prone to getting himself into a handful of situations - a lot of the situations are mind blowing on how he even managed to get himself there - and Silent Bob is his muscle anyways, so it’s expected by most. Silent Bob usually can step in and swing before anything can even happen to Jay, but if the blonde gets hurt to any degree it’s like something snaps in Silent Bob, and he becomes an immovable force, a powerhouse, A- well- you get it, he gets scary.. he managed to effortlessly toss two angels out of a moving train after all. Jay always swoons when watching the other fight for him, practically sends tingles down his spine every time

•They go on double dates with Dante and Randal from time to time, and by God it is always an experience, the two chatter boxes that are Jay and Randal, are constantly going back and forth about whatever comic, movie or insane train of thought they managed to land on the entire time, while Silent Bob and Dante sit quietly and listen to the other two, they exchange unspoken words from time to time, Dante always breaking his silence however to scold Randal or defend himself from whatever insane “fact” Randal had spouted out, which then causes the two to go on and on about whatever it had been while Jay and Silent Bob sit and laugh at the bickering couple. It’s always a nice time though, they’ve all become better friends over time and they’re like an odd little family

•Their wedding wasn’t all that much really, a simple little party with their friends, Dante and Randal the best men obviously - and of course, God herself there to officiate the wedding.. The Metatron did most of the talking though. Their rings are simple golden bands with eachothers names engraved on the inner part of the rings, most of the time they keep them somewhere else like in a pocket or around their neck, or leave them at home, they say it’s because they don’t want to risk losing them, but really they know how harassed they’d constantly be harassed by the “redneck inbred fuckheads” that come around

•It’s VERY easy for Jay to get sick in the winter, and when that happens, Silent Bob has to practically tie the man down to the bed because the blonde simply refuses to actually lay in bed and rest, always wanting to get up and do something. Once Jay knows he can’t escape the others mother henning behaviour, he gets fucking whiney.

[eclvpses]

welcome to marina, abel romanov ( cis man, he/him ) ! they are a thirty-three year old who has lived on the island for his whole life. word on the street is they’re currently living in hyland park and works as a pediatrics doctor. everyone also says they look a lot like brenton thwaites. what do you think?

below are mentions of injury, and depression.

stats.

name: abel camile romanov.

age: thirty-three.

gender identity: cis man.

pronouns: he/him.

sexuality: thinks he's straight but has just never felt the loving touch of another man</3.

birthday: december 3, 1989.

star sign: sagittarius.

myer-briggs: infp.

occupation: pediatrics doctor.

place of birth: marina island.

last played on spotify: the system dreams in total darkness by the national.

general disposition: optimistic and overbearing.

background.

second child 2 senator vaughn and philanthropist adelaide who’s currently running for marina’s mayor, younger brother of cain!! the romanov’s r quite well known fr their All American n Lavish lifestyle

growing up abel worshiped cain he was the cool older sibling who could do it all n still maintain the lifestyle he wanted/their parents expected n abel wanted nothing more than to follow in their footsteps

he tried his best to keep up, did everything cain did, but his grades were always just a bit lower, or his form was always just a bit off, he always felt second fiddle, like it was his role in life as the second child

abel ignored it the best he could for most of his life but he started to notice a different side of cain that he didn’t show their family and a side that :/ abel didn’t like or know at all that was quite vile and this was when some resentment started to form bc their parents thought of cain as their Golden Child n didnt see what was going on behind the scenes whereas abel tried his best to be genuinely good if he could help it

by his senior year of high school things were starting to look up a bit, his already rly good grades were managing to improve, he was on a bunch of social teams, and the coach was saying it was looking good for him to become captain of the soccer team by his second semester, which would look even better for scholarships that'd been in the talks since he was 15

injury; abel was still subconsciously trying to impress his family, his siblings, the people around him, wearing himself out until he was stretched far too thin, and he paid for it with one wrong move during a soccer game that had him colliding with someone from the other team, his knee popping out of place and shattering

it was really really really bad, he was in a cast for a few months bc it needed a total of five surgeries, obviously sports were permanently out of his future, and he still walks with a limp in his right leg and is in need of a cane to this day

depression; this sent abel into a really bad depressive spiral that he didn’t really talk to anyone about cause he’d trained himself at that point to just keep things to himself and never reveal his emotions so that no one could catch him vulnerable or have an upper hand on him

however this was the final nudge he needed to really become his Own Person after realizing it’d gone too far and he’d gotten too bad (on medication now to regulate when he gets out of control/starts to get bad again bc it does happen from time to time)

told his parents fk ur money! n moved out of home, had a rly lovely letter of recommendation from teachers that got him into medical school, started joining different teams tht he thought wld b more fun (radio, chess, etc.), started to distance himself from his siblings a bit too (mostly out of shame)

details.

rly started to loosen up, threw a lot of parties at the romanov summer beach house without telling his parents n would purposely act out/make more friends than he ever had trying to uphold the family image

is still . quite stiff around the edges to this day tho, thinks everything through and has like daily planners he writes down his entire days in to the Second old habits die hard its jst how he functions at this point

had another rly rly bad depressive episode when cain went missing bt like everything he does? he internalized it baybee!

is like overly nice tho he just rly struggles expressing himself/being openly emotional and vulnerable with ppl he thinks they’ll view it as weakness tho he’s a bit desperate to properly let someone in

when cain came back (will b explained in james’ bio) their parents encouraged abel to keep an eye on them n it made abel :/ another reason fr resentment in his eyes (he still loves his brother bt bc hes so bad at expressing himself he thinks hes gna make cain worse if anything)

has been with several ppl bc hes kinda desperate fr approval/fr ppl to need him so hes been quite a good bf in the past bt his incapability to properly open up has put a real Damper on things

likes to think hes in perfect control of his emotions bt explodes a lot bc hes bottled things up fr years

is in no way a Bros Bro but will blush over his shirtless guy friends sometimes then b like . awww so endearing of me i must love my friends sm<3 like jst doesn’t realize he’s Bi LKSHDGKLHSDKLG he wldnt even freak out if he found out he’s just clueless.

thts all . i can think of now ok bye<3

connections.

exes???? he wld have a Few methinks only ever had one Long Term GF (winks at stef and asya) but probs tried to date after when cain came back i cant imagine it went swimmingly bt. LKSDHGKLHSDG

fwb’s/past hookups/ur regular old Spice

obvs he’s never been w a guy before but i am So Desperate fr a funny/cute plot where a friend or even jst a random hits on him/Opens His Eyes and he goes wow this is all starting to make sense.

ppl he has a crush on…………. bt wld never say anything abt it . in his current Frivolously Unemotionally Emotional state

family friends/ppl he grew up with?? or ppl who knew him before he separated himself from his family a bit n knew him as a diff guy n is like ‘omg wtf lol’ now

obvs . some friends Bleathe

enemies?? ppl who he got annoyed with n jst lost it on bc it was a wrong place wrong time Situation.

thts all i can think of rn very basic bt teehee

[rafacarreno]

Pedro Pascal | He/Him | Cis Man | Have you met Rafael "Rafa" Carreño yet? They’re the 44 year old teen social worker that lives around West Point Homes. I think they’ve lived in Seattle for his entire life. From what I’ve heard, they’re communicative but they can also be weak-willed if you get on their bad side. When I think of them, I usually think of In the Aeroplane over the Sea by Neutral Milk Hotel.

BASICS.

Full Name: Léon Rafael Flores Carreño Nickname(s): Rafa, Raf Gender: Cis man (he/him) Sexuality: Heterosexual Birthday: October 13, 1978 (44) Religion: None Hometown: Seattle, Washington Current Residence: Townhouse in West Point Homes Occupation: Teen social worker at a youth services center Education: BSW from Seattle University; MSW from University of Washington School of Social Work Languages: Spanish, English

FAMILY.

Mother: Valeria Carreño (66) Father: Léon Flores (65) Sibling(s): Elena Carreño (sister, 41), Diego Carreño (brother, 39) Ex-Wife: Delilah Carreño née Wells (44) Children: Sadie Carreño (daughter, 24), Theo Carreño (son, 8) Pets: An 8-year-old Australian Shepherd named Serj

PERSONALITY.

Pos. Traits: Effective communicator, honest, emotionally available, open-minded, easygoing Neg. Traits: Irresponsible, scatter-brained and unorganized, bad at planning and sticking to schedules, restless Likes: Old 90s cartoons, anything that gives him an adrenaline rush, his kids, glass blowing, eating cereal for dinner, watching basketball, giving people gifts, snarky teenagers, scrolling jstor for cool psychology articles, grilling, violent video games, his dog, camping, metal and classic rock Dislikes: People who don't like kids, shitty parents, most rom coms, celebrity culture, fancy restaurants, having to get dressed up, sleeping around a lot, super hot weather, reading novels, pop music

TL;DR.

**trigger warnings for alcoholism and some parental neglect

grew up with alcoholic parents who were never violent but often neglectful and forced raf to have to learn to take care of himself pretty young. his mom suffered post partum depression for several years. she got sober when he was around 5 and they started bonding finally but dad never managed to get fully sober

did some acting out in high school but nothing major. immediately after graduating started dating delilah, the best friend of his senior year girlfriend, and got married three months later, when they were about 19

at 20 had their first kid, sadie. rafa had no idea what he wanted to do with his life and needed to support his family so he spent a lot of time going from job to job

was NOT ready to be a family man yet. loved sadie more than anything but had a hard time giving up partying and shit so by the time sadie was 5, he and delilah got a divorce. it wasn't lack of love but rather lack of being able to co-parent successfully in that situation

things got a lot better when he moved out. he took sadie on weekends and was able to do his own thing (for the most part) during the week

at around 27 he started going back to school and decided on social work. got his degree from seattle uni and then went on to do his msw at uni of washington school of social work. he started out working with schools and youth programs and finally in his early thirties landed a really good job as a social worker for troubled teens at a youth services center where he runs a program and does group therapy and some individualized stuff

eight years ago delilah got pregnant (bc yes they started sleeping together again periodically!!) and had their second kid, a boy named theo, when sadie was 16. raf stayed at the house for a little bit after theo was born to help delilah, which was very confusing for sadie obviously

he's still got some irresponsible tendencies but is overall a great dad and loves his kids more than anything and cares sm about the teens he works with and would go to bat for pretty much any child in the world

HEADCANONS.

has a little glass-blowing setup in his garage and has been doing it for like over ten years, makes his own weed-smoking paraphernalia

does drink but not a ton because he's very wary of having two alcoholic parents and how susceptible he is to it. smokes weed tho somewhat on the regs

tba

CURRENT CONNECTIONS.

baby daddy of and ex-husband to @delilahcarreno

dad to @sadiecarreno

rafa's dog's vet @cemile-sahinx

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

raf's siblings, cousins, any family

parent friends

dad friends im begging you

people he's a father figure to

someone he's a good influence on

people he smokes weed and plays video games with

he loooves hiking and camping, someone he does that kinda stuff with

if ur chara was a teen 10 years ago? gimme people who were in his troubled teen groups

one or two serious exes post-divorce (one could potentially be current)

some fwb, one nights stands, maybe a regular hookup

coworkers at the youth services center