#how did i survive this old ass slow ass thing for so long?

[clowningaroundmars]

ok so ive had maybe ONE W so far and its been with my galaxy

ok yes so the screen is already fucky but i was not really sweatin it cuz i got insurance on this thing #smartgirlthings

then i went to the repair shop today kinda bummed that id have to pay out of pocket at first, even tho i knew id be reimbursed by allstate only to find out i already had a samsung warranty still active!!! so hell yea i pay 0 dollars to get her fixed FUCK YEAH

[cloudyswritings]

More vessel biology headcanons?

Vessels are actually really, really good at burrowing. It’s probably how so many escaped the abyss after they got sealed. They got it from both parents, and the void. Which per my silly little brain, can old be contained in round glass.

the void basically erodes/decays things in fast forward otherwise?

Vessels all have one major flaw or imperfection the void couldn’t remove, THKs was either a desire for perfection or being able to make familial bonds.

Ghosts flaw is an endless well of willpower. They will never, ever, stop. They inherited from their mothers conceptual side, because their will is the slow burrowing of roots through stone and the deceptively gentle trickle of water on metal. Greenpath vessels was a sense of adventure/desire to explore. And the nosk vessels all had a sense of longing for companionship which led to their deaths.

The vessels also seem to have physical flaws too? Like structurally I mean. The prime example is THKs missing arm, in the pure vessel boss fight that same arm is what they use for the void tendrils attack and by the time we fight them in the egg it’s entirely rotted off. I think it honestly was never as strong or stable as the other arm and was bound to be lost eventually. Broken Vessels flaw would be their third horn(the one that’s broken off).

Vessels actually do still have some of their own light, you can see this in game actually—even without the lantern you give off a subtle glow. I think that some vessels actually retained some of the godly light and status they otherwise would have had, only a little though.

The above idea comes from my headcanon that Wyrms specifically are really resistant to void as far as gods go, because they always dig deep and far and in that sometimes burrow into pockets of void far below the surface. They need to be able to survive contact with it in the short term at least. This nature would explain how some vessels retain minute traces of light, and why the pale king was the one actually standing at the mouth of the abyss waiting for vessels.

given time, soul, and light a vessel can grow to enormous sizes- or eventually metamorphose into a wyrm proper. Albeit one still tarnished by the void

in fact I wonder if any of the seeds/eggs dropped into the abyss hatched young Wyrms instead of vessels? Maybe they escaped or something? I don’t think this is likely but it’s a cool idea.

vessels are deceptively light, as in like hornet could carry THK on her back if she needed to- they’re literally hollow in a way

Void and water don’t mix, it’s like oil and water. That’s why we float in the blue lake.

The void itself might be the remnants of an ancient sea that covered the world beyond Hallownest before the age of bright gods. It would explain the trilobite creature we see in deepnest and the way the abyss and the rest of Hallownest appear to be made of fossilized shells. Plus if it’s the remnants of the sea then it could be something like a microbial mat that’s really toxic to life? Like maybe it’s a magic microbial soup? Magic microbial goop even. Vessels are goop.

Vessels are really really strong compared to other ways of containing things, like THK held the radiance for a long ass time. If a vessel tried to contain a weaker god they’d probably just be able to tbh. Like anything weaker than the nightmare heart if probably fair game for yoinking.

Vessels also sometimes inherit the hunger of Wyrms, and looking into their eyes gives the sensation of falling into the maw of some great beast. Godseaker did call Little Ghost a wielder of nail and eater of soul

Vessels are also really susceptible to outside influences, kinda like evee if they were Pokémon. This is how Ghost can use so many charms at once but also why said charms can change them so easily.

Theoretically a vessel raised by or containing a god could take on some of their traits-either by force or by accident.

Unrelatedly THK has a voice to cry out with…

I think radiance may have eventually tried turning them into something more like Grimm is for the heart, a body for her to use and a mind thoroughly broken to her will.

after-all she shines brightest against the darkness…

If they could eat, Vessels would have a truly remarkable number of tastebuds, because Wyrms will eat anything and I feel like the white lady has ways to “taste” the soil to see if it’s nutrient rich and has fertilizer.

man I’m just realizing, vessels would like some weird food, they’d definitely eat dirt

THK crunching on crystals?? Likely

Finally the horns of vessels are actually their “branches” and will keep growing indefinitely unless trimmed or broken periodically, this comes from both parents. Wyrms need to constantly replace burrowing teeth and Roots are beings of constant growth and pruning.

[sillyblues]

Yoo, can I request a fic/hc's of Miguel with a Black Cat variant Male Reader?? 👉👈

Enemies to lovers, antagonizing, flirting, banter ykyk

ੈ✩‧₊˚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: i am finally done resting and im taking a break writing with that one fic HELP i swear its coming out but n e ways I LOVE THIS i had fun writing this aaaaaaaaaa!!! im thinking of making this a multi parts again bc i so SO love this dynamic and the possible scenarios

okay so reader here, you, becomes Black Cat after growing up in the slums, seeing the brutality of poverty and the greediness of capitalist pigs. you said enough was enough and it was time to eat the rich!! 

so you joined underground rings, fighting for mostly the experience and money when people bet on you so could survive. but it wasn’t enough you needed to learn more and it was a good thing you caught the eye of someone strong. you saw him before but you figured he was just a crazy homeless dude but boy you were wrong when he showed you to his house, a whole ass fucking mansion, in the Nueva York City. apparently he was the infamous Black Cat and you got his attention and bam, now you became the heir to his name and got a father as an extra. there, he taught you all he know, all martial arts, and even shared information about the celebrities and criminals that resided in the city.

after years had gone by, he faked his death and lived somewhere place far away because he was old and retired. you finally made your official debut as the Black Cat by ransacking the money drawers of a corrupt well-known Judge who accepted bribes and let criminals run free. the whole world’s eyes were on the newest Black Cat who made another robbery headline. you know who got his eyes on you as well? Spiderman.

colour you surprised when the next time you decided to steal from a known rich man who planned to destroy Atlantica for some project he wants, a big burly man with wide shoulders and hella sharp tons started chasing after you. not really, you were expecting to see him as your father warned you about him.

“Put those bags away.” He warned with a growl after he shot a spider web at you to try and get you stuck. “Now.”

You were in the middle of running away after stealing bags of cash from the rich man’s vault of money but the sudden entrance of Spiderman blocking your exit greeted you. It didn’t matter because it was one of the multiple exits you had planned beforehand anyways. And even if you run out of exits, you could always create one.

“How about no, Mr. Spiderman?” you grinned, showing off your pearly whites to him.

“I wasn’t asking.” He took off and ran immediately after you, hot on your tails. Like a cat, your reflexes were fast enough to move the second he moved as well and you ran down the hallways. You ran, sometimes pushing some obstacles for him to enjoy. It did nothing to slow him down of course, but it did annoy him and that was all you wanted. 

He let out a frustrated growl and with enough anger as his adrenaline, he jumped at you and got down to the ground.

“Oh? You’re this excited for me even though we just met, Spidey?” He grabbed your arms and pinned you against the floor.

“Aren’t you a confident one?” His mask disappeared and he revealed his handsome chiselled face, his hair falling down onto you. He opened his mouth, fangs sharpening to bite you but you knew this beforehand.

“Save your bites when we’re in bed,” you smirked at him, “and when there isn’t a whole ceiling coming down at you.” He immediately looked up to see a swinging ceiling clearly about to fall. The moment he looked up, the strength in his hands lessened a tiny bit but for you, it was enough. You kicked him and pushed him away and yourself in different directions, not forgetting the bags of money you were after in the first place.

As the ceiling got destroyed, you had long gone with another successful heist and left an everlasting impression on Miguel O’Hara with a need to chase after you again.

[egg-emperor]

Eggy's nearing pensioner age and yet he still beefs with teenage technicolor animals, tries to kill them with candy-colored robots and shows no signs of slowing down or retiring from his goal of conquering the world🥚👴💪

At this rate he could still be Fighting sonic, even after turning 100;🥚💀🦔

I love when people think they can explain Eggman not being in the picture of their fan future stuff and the like by being like "oh he's probably retired or something" because retirement and Eggman are two things that absolutely do not go together at all LOL

the only way you're gonna get rid of that ever persistent bastard is if he's dead and gone for good. he will absolutely never give up on his dreams under absolutely any circumstances, no matter how much time has passed, how many times he's failed, or how old he gets

but it's always been impossible to kill him, he's survived so much bullshit. and if he can help it he's not gonna let old age kill him either, he'll prolong his lifespan as long as possible or better yet find a way to immortalize his human self in ways Gerald wished to achieve with Maria

and even if he did die, that's still a huge if of him staying gone because he'd probably still find a way to come back lmfao. he'd be like William Afton, you could kill him over and over but you're never going to truly get rid of his ass because his will is too strong!

even if you think he's dead and buried for good, this is probably what would happen. he'd be like nuh uh and fucking rise up from the grave lol

he's already old now and he's still boisterous, energetic and aggressively and passionately determined to accomplish his goals. he's the definition, the living breathing embodiment of determination. the way he never gives up is literally his second most notable strength

you can never keep this bastard down and get rid of him for good, as is proven by him suffering literally thousands of defeats and still coming back strong every single time

227,000+

so you know he's definitely never gonna make the decision to give up himself, come on now!

people will be begging him to get to the retirement home if he lives long into his 70s/80s+ but I can bet even when he's really old and totally gray, even if he's having health and mobility issues, he'll still refuse to give up

he'll find ways as a 300 IQ genius, he has his machines to aid him. and if he finds a way to prolong his lifespan or immortalize, he'll be trying literally forever until he gets what he wants and then will rule happily for the rest of time!

bold of people to assume they can ever get rid of him XD

[blackicephantom]

A Divine Taste II

It’s been a few days since that little disaster of a battle and Sampo still has the phantom taste of the Silvermane Captain on his tongue. He still remembers the exact moment his fangs pierced through the delicate skin, remembers the first drop of that addicting nectar hitting his taste buds and how it felt to hold that sturdy body so very close to his own.

Groaning, Sampo could clearly see Gepards rosy cheeks and knew, without a doubt, that the little sound he heard was a moan. A freaking moan! With all of these pictures and feelings and sounds still fresh in his mind he gave himself two more solid pumps before coming all over his own hand. Shuddering through this rather intense climax he fell back into his pillows and tried to get his breath back under control. “This is getting pathetic, even for my standards!” Especially since the object of his fantasies was still bedridden because of the last wound he suffered in combination with the absolute exhaustion from fighting for so long. Maybe it was an everyday occurrence for the blond, but that didn’t change the fact that he was but a human.

And Sampo knew that nothing would ever be enough anymore.

Knew that giving in to that living and breathing temptation would spell nothing but despair for him. And yet he couldn’t stop himself from yearning for another taste. He wanted to pin the younger down, pull him close and show him just what a vampire's bite can do for you. Wanted to see blond hair askew on his pillowcase, pepper kisses and bites all over that scarridden skin and hear just what beautiful sounds he could coax out of those inviting lips. Oh just thinking about it sends another hot jolt up and down his spine. 

The only reason he wasn’t up in the Overworld, begging for another bite? A certain Rockstars very intimidating threats to his very poor person.

Gepard was safe and in medical care and even Supreme Guardian Bronya seemed to be lenient in thanks for his help. But just as the blue haired male wanted to sigh in relief, someone grabbed him and pulled him along. He knew immediately who it was  even without needing to look. That blonde hair was really a dead giveaway right along with all the obscenities the Landau woman was throwing at him all the way back to her workshop.

The door was opened, he was thrown in, the door was closed and locked and he was met with similarly blue eyes as Gepards. “You!” was the first thing she said. “Are going to tell me EVERYTHING.” He knew Serval long enough to just do as he was told. So he talked. And maybe he left out a few details, like, let’s say the part where he bit her brother, but who cares? Serval, as it appears. She knew his little secret, poor circumstances and bad decisions being the main reasons, so she just looked at him. Looked him up and down and started a slow circle around him, which made him slightly nervous. “You know, in any other situation I would feel really flattered, but-” A sharp gasp interrupted him and he could feel a certain tension rising. Serval stood right behind him, looking at his back. The back that took the brunt of their impact on a frozen wall. A back that should be bloody and bruised.

Black boots stomped back into view and Sampo couldn’t stop the small shiver and held up his hands in a placating manner. “N-Now, now, old friend.” Small lightning bolts zipped up her arm when she grabbed him by the lapels and pulled him uncomfortably close.

“What the FUCK did you do Koski?!”

Gulping down what little air he could get and sweating in outright fear he gave a nervous little chuckle and prayed to Aha that he survived this encounter.

Let’s just say….. the oldest Landau was not very amused. And she made it pretty clear that he would lose at least one limb if he showed up at Gepards door while said male was still recovering. And another, if he didn’t get his vampiric ass down to Natashas clinic to get checked out as well. (And he would lose another very important body part if he ever tried this shit again.)

Which brings us to the next lecture he received.

Natasha took one look at him, pulled him into one of the more private rooms and hit him upside the head. Right after that she started a standard examination and was surprised, to say the least. “There should be at least some bruising left, from what you told me. But there is nothing.”  Just like the other female, the doctor looked him straight in the eyes and Sampo could feel himself slipping. After another few seconds of this he gave up and confessed to his little sip of living sin. Unlike Serval, the Underworld woman simply hummed and asked a few more questions, before prescribing him a few days of bedrest and sending him home.

What the sulking merchant did not know thou, was that his dearest Captain was in a similar situation. After the eldest Landau was finished with the blue haired vampire she made sure to annoy her little brother. It was almost funny, if the situation hadn’t been so serious. 

If Sampo had taken just a little bit more, Gepard could have very well died before said male brought him back inside the city.

And don’t get him wrong. Gepard knew that his sister was just worried about him, but  he was still a grown man capable of making his own choices. Not to forget a seasoned soldier used to the eternal struggle of surviving on the battlefield. So he took Serval’s wrath with all the grace of a captain before simply throwing her out of his apartment. Neither of them acknowledged the fact that his left hand strayed suspiciously often towards his neck, nor did they talk about his recurring blush whenever it happened. Gepard knew that his sister was an intelligent woman, while Serval knew that her dear brother was still a little broken and shy boy. They understood each other well enough, even with their fathers dark shadow still somewhere above them, so she didn’t ask something that was rather obvious.

Once he was alone again the blond couldn’t help himself. Everytime he closed his eyes he felt the pain of those sharp fangs biting down and borrowing deep, remembers strong arms holding him close and keeping him unmoving. Couldn’t forget the sound of Sampo swallowing down his blood or the feeling of that wicked tongue licking up the few drops that had escaped. Nor could he ever forget that deep moan the other let loose once he let up from him or the near euphoric feeling of the bite itself. Thinking about it, he pressed his thighs together and tried not to squirm in sudden arousal.

If the captain was honest, at least to himself, he would admit that there was something a little more. He knew he had a thing for the older male, who doesn’t? Sampo was tall, with a lithe but still muscular build, a handsome face and infuriating personality. He could be an outright asshole one time and a sweet worrywart the next. Cool and collected when doing his business, but a goofy comedian when surrounded by children. Not to forget that this man was one, very capable fighter. With his daggers and agility he was one heck of an enemy. And that’s even without his stupid bombs. If he were to count every time these damn things drove him up the walls, he would never finish. 

The fact that he was a vampire just made him even more attractive in the Captains book. It made him even more alluring and mysterious, added to his already unnerving charme.  

And it explained his ability to outrun the Silvermane Guards, traversing even the deepest and freshest snow without leaving a single footprint and his dumb vanishing act.

Chuckling Gepard leant back on his sofa, still rather stiff and sore considering that he had a hole in his right side, mere inches away from vital organs. It was nothing short of a miracle that he survived. And yes, he knew that it was a high risk to let Sampo feed from him, but if he had the choice between a Stormbringer or Sampo for his ending? He would choose Sampo, without hesitation. Not that he will ever tell him that. 

Sighing he also remembered the other thing the conman told him: “We WILL talk about this, Gepard.”

Not only was that one of the rare moments the older used his full name but he also sounded so serious and just the slightest bit angry. What made it even worse: he really wanted that talk to happen. Not only was he bored out of his mind being banned from anything related to work, even paperwork, but he also wanted to know how the other was doing. Yes, Serval has told him that Sampo looked alright. But she also told him about her threatening and the poor guys near panic and fear.

Or maybe, just maybe, he simply wanted to talk to Sampo. And……. maybe he wanted to ask for another bite? Or even two? Blushing he put his face in his hands and groaned. “This is ridiculous.”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

It took another two days for Sampo to finally give in and do something. He was man enough to admit to being scared of certain Landaus, but if he had to replay the moment of his feeding just one more time, he was going to fucking combust. It had to be unhealthy and unreasonable to jerk off as often as he did in just these few days.

So he went for the safest route: he reached for his phone and sent his dear blond a message. 

<Sampo>

Hello my dear captain! How are we doing this fine day?

Short and sweet and right on point.  Now he just had to wait and- *Ding*

Blinking, Sampo looked at his screen, only to see that Gepard had, in fact, already answered. This was unheard of. As in: never happened before. At least not to the poor vampire and not with his favorite human. 

<Gepard>

I’m bored out of my mind. I’m not allowed to do anything, not even paperwork!

He re-read that sentence just to be sure and started to chuckle. He could see it: Gep all alone in his apartment, his only companions the various plants he keeps around in different states of dying. Maybe with a visit from his sisters in between. 

<Sampo>

Ohhh, is poor Geppie lonely? Should I keep him some company?

He asked it as part joke and part excuse to finally leave his own flat again. He kept a low profile the last few days, doctors orders and all that shit, which means he was more than ready to go do something. Yes, he could have done some business in the Overworld. But where was the fun in that if there was no pretty Silvermane Captain to chase him through the streets of Belobog? All the other guards were just sooo boring and couldn’t keep up with him! And if he slowed down just the slightest bit when Gepard was after him it was no one's business but his own. So color him surprised when he got the blonds next message.

<Gepard>

I would take anything at this point. I’m not even allowed to take a walk. 

And don’t call me that!

Sampo stared at his screen. He knows it. But the text didn’t change even after several minutes. Minutes that seemed to be too long for his younger companion.

<Gepard>

Sampo?

Swallowing, Sampo thought about all his options. 

He could deflect and say it was a joke. Or he could take this at face value and go see Gepard. Third option would be the coward's way out: simply ignore it and pretend he fell asleep or something. Still pondering what to do he got the next message. And that’s all it takes for him to get his ass off his couch, change into his usual clothes and be out of the door.

<Gepard>

If you’re not coming over….. would you at least talk to me? Please?

It took him less than ten minutes to get to the Overworld, five minutes of sniffing through a few back alleys to find the right apartment complex and another minute to gather a bit of courage. Because in all the years they’ve known each other, they’ve never been inside the other's home. Accompanying each other to the door? Happened more often then one would think, as well as straight up carrying the other to a safer location. But a simple visit? That was part of the invisible line both of them had refused to cross. Until now. Taking another deep breath he knocked and waited, almost surprised when the door opened mere seconds later. 

The first thing he noticed was the open black button up the other wore, followed by the dark circles and deep bags underneath his usually vibrant eyes. And of course he noticed the white bandages that covered the younger ones almost godly built body. And even if Sampo wanted to look and gawk like no tomorrow, his eyes simply stayed glued on the white fabric.

Something like guilt clawed at his throat. If he had killed that forsaken monster when he had the chance, Gepard wouldn't have been this severely hurt. The vampire was so lost in his thoughts he didn’t even notice that the other was watching him right back. At least until one of the blond’s hands gently touched one of his clenched ones.

Gently he was pulled inside, ignoring the sound of the lock sliding into place and just silently followed his dear captain. He wanted to say something smart, one of his usual one-liners or something similar. But all words kept eluding him.

There was a moment of awkward silence between them, something that hasn’t happened in a long time. When Gepard noticed the others emerald eyes still trained on his dressings, he slowly started to button up his shirt. It’s not like he doesn’t know what the older is thinking, quite the opposite actually. But if there's one thing he doesn’t want Sampo to feel, then it’s guilt. Not when he practically forced him to further endanger him. Forcing him to do the one thing he had been thoroughly and explicitly warned about.

Once the bandages were out of sight the thief shook his head and sighed. Taking another quick look at the blond’s posture he gave a rather bashful little smile and asked “Care for a cup of tea or coffee? I’ll even help.” And between Serval, Lynx and  now apparently Sampo, Gepard knew not to fight back. In all honesty he didn’t think that the older would actually come over. He was just so desperate for some kind of human contact that was not his sister, that he couldn't help himself . 

So he sat down at his small kitchen table and directed Sampo through his cabinets for the cups and the teabags and simply watched him move. Watched as those strong arms moved easily and gracefully, watched the still torn maroon jacket pull tight over the dark shirt the other always wore underneath. And of course he just had to look at this very tempting waist that’s always on display. Couldn’t help himself when his eyes slid even lower and just barely held back a groan. Thank Qliphoth for the coattails….. That was the moment his cheeks started to heat up, because he had just checked out Sampo. In his own damn kitchen.

He wanted to put his head down on the table, more than once even, but that would agitate his wounds. Seeing that the taller male's shoulders were slightly shaking now, he did the next best thing and buried his flaming face in his hands.

“Aww, no need to be embarrassed now Geppie! All things considered, I'm really flattered!” came Sampos teasing voice when he finally turned around. Being the focus of his dearest Captains burning gaze was everything he had ever envisioned and so much more. He could almost FEEL the way those brilliant blues swept over his body and almost moaned out loud. It almost felt like a caress, like a hand just shy of making direct contact with his skin. It was the moment his favorite eyes on the planet landed on his ass he couldn’t stop himself. And when he saw that obvious blush he just HAD to tease his lovely soldier. Said male just pushed his face further into his hands and made unintelligible sounds that made the other chuckle and then outright laugh. And just to be an absolute asshole the dual haired vampire waited till Gepard peeked through his fingers, only to slide his jacket off his shoulders, making sure to exaggerate the movement of his arms and letting the cloth catch at his elbows. Only then did he ask as casually as possible “I hope you don’t mind?”

 But poor Gepard could only whine in embarrassment as his eyes looked at all the skin and muscle that was suddenly presented to him and refused to squirm on his chair. Using the fresh tea as an excuse he focused on that, while giving his guest the go ahead with the other hand. Chuckling again Sampo took pity on the poor man and took his jacket off the rest of the way, only to hang it over the back of his own chair. The silence this time was comfortable and not oppressive or heavy. At that moment they were simply two people enjoying a simple cup of freshly made tea. 

But while the captain tried (and failed) to get his blush under control, jade eyes watched as the hand not holding the cup slowly slid down from his hot cheek and right down to the place where Sampo had fed from. He watched as pale, scared fingers gently rubbed the place where he knew the little puncture wounds to be. Taking a deep sip of his own beverage he kept looking, kept watching the fingers trail up and down and push down from time to time.

It could have been seconds or minutes when said fingers suddenly froze and that tantalizing throat moved with a rather loud swallow.

Putting his cup down Sampo knew that his own eyes had a certain glow to them, too bright to be normal but still unnoticeable for those not looking for it. Licking his lips he could almost taste the tension that grew between them. 

“I believe there’s something we need to talk about, my dearest Captain.”

[wormonastringtheory]

HI EVERYONE SORRY FOR DISAPPEARING THIS MONTH HAS BEEN SO BUSY QUICK UPDATES:

-my art was published in a zine!!!!!

-my robotics STEMathon team i mentored won our event

-i went to a Tessa Violet concert and held hands with two friends in one week, one of who i held hands with at the concert

-when Tessa announced kitchen song as a song about being in love with your best friend i felt my heart exploding but i couldn't tell who it was about, it wasn't about the three i always talk with

-i realized the next day, at a bus stop back in my city, when an old, very very close long term friend pulls up to the bus stop bc her sister recognized me from afar and she just smiles and chats and it's lovely. we'd reconnected after a few years of not chatting much bc of pandemic in January and I'd have inklings of potentially liking her but kinda pushed them aside. I realize during the conversation how beautiful and warm and kind she is. Walking to robotics after the bus, I finally clue into my feelings.

-we'd become quite close in this time, and the time felt natural and safe. I've started getting more affectionate and stuff since clue-ing in

-this week i started getting very affectionate. i asked her to be my date to a queer prom, we slow danced to the start of WTTBP, took the silly prom pose photos at the photo booth, and then after she asked to go for ice cream and we just chatted more. She seems more affectionate too lately?

-i confessed my feelings for her this morning at 2am and waiting for her to reply back but oh my god I've known her 13 years we were childhood close friends we sang duets together we sang 1000 YEARS together it would be so cute. I love her. I'll find out soon if it's mutual.

Other Stuff

-i might be on a panel for pride month about lateral violence in the form of ableism

-finally got my EDS appointment

-applied to a summer camp, got the job!?! the camp is super queer, I'm working a queer retreat and perhaps doing drag at it

-having a CT scan for my abdominal issues that have been worsening

-the started me on a med that seems to actually help with my pain and it made me have a day my WHOLE BODY DIDNT HURT

-I'm officially graduating

-Ive organized queer events in my city, including a protest

-i'm helping organize a huge group of people to protect drag shows around my province

-ive started walking a lot

-i'm processing illness trauma

-ive stayed connected with exes mom and she wished me a happy pride and was super happy about the queer prom thing

-my ex is actually doing surprising well given everything, after a coma, survived the double lung transplant and is kicking ass the best they can

-my coworkers at summer camp are mostly younger so I've become a queer den mother type person

-my boss is a polyam drag king

-i am making a lot of art and people like it

-participated in two studies

-started ACTING IN LIKE. ACTUAL SHOWS AND FILMS

-went to a witchy night market

[iamanerd1]

hi i am a person on the internet who cares about star wars and doesn't really like to be negative about things. Here are my thoughts about the Ahsoka show so far (which will include some negative things)

Every time I heard Ezra's name said aloud I bleated like a struck animal

How?? did Ahsoka figure out the room with the carvings to get the map, if she couldn't also figure out how to use the map? Like don't those seem a bit like a transferable skill set? (I wish we were brought into her mind a bit here and saw her thought process, from our vantage point it looked like she was just pushing buttons)

Ray Stevenson is immediately killing it and I also like his apprentice

Sabine needs to cuddle the lothcat more :( Give him kisses

I am assuming that Jacen is with his uncles on Lira San until proven otherwise

I am so confused on this timeline and yet I am very interested into what was the thing that drove Sabine and Ahsoka apart

Another thing on that point is uh, they don't seem like they like each other and not just in a 'were both scorned by the other person' way but like that they've never had any comradery ever? I can't see these two people working together happily

And why does this have to be a master/ apprentice relationship? Why not just a partnership? Sabine is an adult, she is Mandalorian, why does she have to be taught to be a Jedi when even Kanan never attempted to teach her to be a one? Light saber skills and Jedi philosophy sure, but he was never her 'Master', nor did he need to be. Jedi are taken as younglings for the express purpose of 'easier to train', of course it's going to be hard to train an adult woman????

Jai Kell took me out I'll be honest, why wasn't he played by dante basco

I am, frustrated with how slow everyone moves. Is this just a me thing??? It feels like everyone is purposely not moving at the standard rate of human beings

It made me a little sad that like Huyang is being ordered around like just another droid. Ahsoka, that is an old master that was present at nearly every construction of a lightsaber for the last 500 years, say please and thank you when you talk to him

Morgan Elsbeth is a descendant of the nightsisters ...okay I guess??? She said 1000 years so I assume this is a LONG descendant line (Merrin would kick your ass though)

Also you say you are one of thrawn's closest allies, but does he consider you a friend? HMMM?

Sabine got stabbed and was fine and there is no 'oh she has the force so she used her rage to survive' excuse to be made here. By all accounts, she should have died. It also startled me that she was just on a hospital bed, baby you are going to need like 2 weeks in bacta to fill that hole.

The fight scenes are just not impressing me. I can't quite point my finger on all of it, but one thing that stood out to me was that when Ahsoka was being pressed down upon by another lightsaber her arms buckled and the blade was forced closer to her. That block is specifically a move that we have seen her use against DARTH VADER and she never gave any ground then. There is no way that any of these antagonists are stronger than him, so it just made it look 100% choreographed to me

Overall, what really worries me about this show is that we are not going to get any performances from the actors portraying these characters. Like, I need to see the character's choices building their emotions, not just them telling me how they feel while sitting in the correct blocking position. For these episodes I wish Sabine or Ahsoka snapped at each other and raised their voices, so we could really feel the frustration and history between the characters.

Is there going to be real emotion here? Are we going to see Sabine's fears and hopes and state of mind? How does she feel that she's lost her father figure and brother figure and failed her "master"? Does she have conflicting emotions about the possibility of Ezra being alive? Did she think he was dead? (rebels tells us no, but here if she believed that why doesn't she jump at the chance to find him again? Did she and Ahsoka really have that bad of a falling out?)

In these first two episodes we don't even see any reflection from her that she's even happy that the rebels won the war and that the empire is gone?? Is this because Mandalore is still under Imperial control or because she's not any happier than she was when the empire ruled over the galaxy. She's living on Lothal alone, isolating herself, not even going to the ceremony that she's an invited guest to. Right now, it looks like she's lost two families. I hope we explore these things.

This show is going to shake things up in a way we haven't experienced before. I just hope that those shake ups leave me feeling like I've experienced a satisfying story and not just frustrated by any retcons or changes in character that are definitely going to occur.

[bellevvalencia]

All things considered

When I think about how I’m right here, right now, still laughing and feeling and trying, I think about the innate mechanism of humans that alert them on what they need to do to survive.

You live to fight another day.

There was no time to think. In March, I was jammed into the team’s most complicated system that I had to get within a week. I was coming in at 8 and leaving at 8. I had been juggling operations that I barely understood in one hand, and my dev work that was way far from the finish line in my other hand. It was just not enough.

In April, I went to three different funerals in three weeks. I was sad and numb and stressed. It was also scary how more accepting I have become about death, both actual and make-believe. (Because, like many of us, I assume, I have relatives who are fucking dead to me). I was on the road most of the time, balancing the responsibilities I have at work and at home on the tip of my nose, while indulging on the side with my best friends.

It’s probably why in May, oh my God, in May, I just felt high. Like nothing matters anymore and I can be anything. I was a shapeshifter. I was Belle and Belly and Andrea all at the same time. I fixed and broke. I stayed silent and laughed aloud. I came and went. I took on anything and killed it.

But the moment I sat down with a one-on-one with Rafa, my infamous 24-year-old supervisor, I realized I had the same problem that I had three months ago, back when I felt way less at-home at the office.

“Have a point-of-view,” he said. “Write that down.”

I couldn’t give him anything - not a want or a need or a direction. I could only tell him that I’m okay and I like what I’m doing, and I could only ask him to give me three more months to figure it out. Figuring out a clear view of what I want to do is such a pain in my ass. Everyone knows I’ve always been like this. In high school, in college, all I’ve ever known was I’d take anything that I could get, simply because my reality is I didn’t grow up with a dream.

I wanted life to be simple. Happy with my family and friends, and able to spend time with them as long as I can.

All things considered, everything’s turning out well. I sat on a coaching session one slow Monday with Jerome, our CEO, and when I told him that my stressor was that I had no idea what to chase after, he cut me off almost immediately.

“Got it. Nobody truly knows what they want.”

I smiled, glimpsing at Rafa then, because it felt validating, like I was right to feel that way, at 22. Although it also felt bad, because I knew it would be more work for him, helping this stupid fresh grad create her own point-of-view. Some people won’t ever have this problem. They’d know what the hell they wanted to do. Most importantly, this shouldn’t even be a concern for Rafa, for someone else. And yet, because we’re a tight, neurotic team, it is.

If you think about it, it’s a concern mostly for me, but is it weird that I’m not that bothered?

It’s too bad I don’t have enough time to think, then.

All things considered, everything’s turning out well. Can you believe they gave me a fucking raise? I still don’t know if I deserve it. What did I even do? I just did what everyone told me to! It’s always so hard to find grace when you don’t have the time to think. Maybe someday, in three more months, along with a point-of-view, I’ll figure it out.

Everyone is lying when they say college is the hardest part. It’s not. Leaving college is the hardest part. You’re starting anew. You’re making your own choices. No profs to pick, no grades to get. Hell, if you want, you can pretty much just stop. It’s what makes it so scary. The world becomes your oyster. You can do anything. And yet, you can’t. You can never do it all. Nobody truly knows what they want. The only way through is to accept it, live with it. You can never live up to your expectations, even though you don’t know what those expectations are.

That’s how you know you’re doing well. Even though you will never ever believe that.

It’s just how it is for people like us.

So I guess, when I think about today, all things considered: complicated systems, death, life, responsibilities, indulgement, missing directions, and tree-tall highs and ocean-deep lows...I think about how the hell everything is turning out pretty well.

[ciitrinitas]

baldur's gate 3.

100+ hours later, and i survived baldur's gate 3. it partly took me so goddamn long to finish because i got to the end of act 2 on my first character...only to find out it wasn't just me and that minthara is likely bugged (or has an insane amount of cut content, but i'm on hopium here). so i decided to restart on a second character as the dark urge to complete the story on whilst i await a minthara fix.

so, yeah. that was a choice i made! 🫠

to preface, however, while bg3 isn't a game i'm keeling over in sheer love for or a new favorite for me, i had a fucking blast playing it. any flaws or personal issues with the game aside, it is genuinely a ton of fun and full of shit to do.

long, scattered thoughts below the cut.

"huh, i wonder why there's so much grumpiness about the ending." ohhhh. i get you all now. the lack of ending cards or epilogues or any kind really stings when it's such a standard for wrpgs of this type. the main plot lost momentum for me early on when the urgency and desperation surrounding the tadpole infection slowed down, so i was vibing well enough with the ending until the lack of any epilogue hit. that is a weird oversight for a game like this and a sequel to games like bg1-2 and spiritually following games like dao.

biggest plot complaint with the ending: i choose to free orpheus because it's what my girl lae'zel wanted, so move aside, squid. in response, the emperor...skedaddled to join the fucking netherbrain????? what. i don't remotely understand this. did i miss some stuff about the emperor's motivations...? regardless, this was a bit of whiplash for me before i popped orpheus out then left him with no choice but to...abruptly turn into a mind flayer because...sorry, but my beautiful boy's skin isn't going to be sacrificed...nor karlach's despite her offer...and gale shut up about the damn nuke.

on villain side, i was disappointed with how little we saw the chosen. ketheric is introduced for a single scene earlier in act 2, but we only see orin and gortash by the end of it and then they aren't as present in act 3 as i would have hoped. ketheric is...fine (imo, i found his voice delivery kind of flat), and i appreciate the hammy glory that is aylin, so thanks for bringing isobel back, i guess. orin's design slaps, and her va's performance makes what could have been a too-much script really work. she's a bit more interesting if you're playing dark urge and have that backstory connection with her. gortash...i got a little caught up in shipping him with my dark urge half-elf boy in that coronation scene because of what good old murder pals the two used to be! but gortash gets killed by the netherbrain just because even if you side with him, so eh. better to let karlach have her revenge on his shady ass.

on my first character, i was initially set on romancing shadowheart until i learned about minthara and then was wildly divided between them. then i met minthara in person and next thing i knew, i had slaughtered refugees and druids and was married. 😌❤️ it really broke my heart a little to learn that she is (HAS TO BE) bugged when i turned my entire playthrough on its side to nab her. no regrets because she is easily one of my favorite characters, but a bummer. the crazy hot cultist lady exterior drew me in, but it was her intriguing character on the interior that got me to stay.

if it weren't for the whole "violently slaughtering the grove" thing being necessary to get minthara (unless you go out of your way to not do things or glitch it afaik), she'd be my default pick over halsin all the time, every time. halsin is deeply boring to me. he talks about nature...and then some more about nature...and more about nature. jaheira is more involved in the main plot than him, so an odd choice to cram a second druid in when he's much duller than minthara or jaheira.

jaheira, jaheira, jaheira! oooh, i adore jaheira! i'm familiar with bg1-2, so i knew the basic deets in jaheira. i really hope larian wrote her as a natural extension to her classic self because while i planned to play bg1-2 eventually, the urge is now truly powerful because jaheeeeeeeiiiiiira, my beloved. cool hot older woman who is just so good. that she partly has some batman in her with her four adopted kids is adorable... her house is so cute... that she has a keepsake from khalid, too... i want jaheira to be happy. 😭

UNLIKE ASTARION. look. i was pleasantly neutral with his ass until after visiting jaheira's home, he thought he could make a catty remark about jaheira being a horrible mother. i'm happy his final appearance in the good end of the game is him sprinting away as he burns and screams in the sun and gale weirdly comments that this will probs be the last time they all see him. fucking bizarre writing choice, but a victory for me. don't be mean to jaheira!! (in all seriousness, astarion is a perfectly fine character with solid writing. he isn't the type i tend to latch onto, and i was salty when he made such a bitchy comment about jaheira.)

gale gave me my favorite line in the game. if you're slutting it up, mr. wizard can hit you with one of those ultimatum conversations. if you pick to simple leave without a word, he says you are being a very cone of cold. i keep subjecting xofi to references to this. it's my favorite line. gloriously dweeby, and gloriously wizard-y. oh, gale. i can tell you don't have friends that aren't your magical flying cat, a very old man, and uh...your divine ex, i guess. he's like you transplanted a bard's personality into a wizard. he was fun to have around!

lae'zel...my abrasive darling. you know what, i'm glad she's inspiring "discourse" (aka "women wasn't 100% nice to me :(((") because it exposes the weaklings. if lae'zel is too mean for you, then thank you for letting us know. we must cull you so that we won't waste resources on you. the winter is harsh, and only those warmed by good taste will be able to endure. i'm happy for where my ending had her: orpheus went mind flayer and then i politely knifed him when he asked, so lae'zel was asked to carry on his torch in inciting her people against vlaakith's tyranny.

shadowheart is my meow meow. the eight-or-so hours of early access that i played two years ago had her as my favorite by the end and that was carried over into the full release. she and minthara are the favorites. my only real quibble with shadowheart's arc is that binary dnd god morality does not spark joy for me. worship of shar being so bluntly evil took me out of a bit. nice to see viconia, though!

i...honestly forgot wyll until a second ago. there's an interesting conceit to him, but he's woefully dull. he and halsin are just boring. i feel kind of bad that i'm so bored by wyll. there's a missing bite from him that i vaguely recall from early access. i get that the devs wanted a companion that is, like, good, but oh, wyll, buddy...idk what the hell they did to your writing.

minsc isn't a terribly deep character, but he's enjoyable when i view him as a charming addition to jaheira. i'm going to try and get him earlier in future playthroughs because i nabbed him terribly close to the end on this one. orz

karlach...i think here arc was my favorite of all the cast. in act 3, i had swapped lae'zel out for her for a bit and lae'zel ended up kidnapped by orin, so my defaulat party just ended up shifting to gale, shadowheart, and karlach. i'm pretty happy it ended up this way. i ran into some interesting conversations for her, and her reactions to things like my dark urge signing raphael's contract surprised me in their passion. she's effective at keeping up her cheer until the latter end of act 3 when the unfairness and shittiness of her situation come to head in some gorgeously acted scenes. her fury and despair at the tragedy someone else thrust her into is really fucking good. i'm not even mad about her ending. it can feel odd in the greater context of bg3, but for my tastes, i was fucking there for her having to pick between dying or return to live in a place she loathes.

this is a "era has personal preferences that don't align with the game's goals" thing, but i kind of wish the dark urge was the protagonist. i like even customizable mcs to have a bit of an arc built in despite that impacting the scope of roleplaying lmao. the dark urge stuff had me wishing there was more than what is present, though. i wanted it to be dug into deeper, but i did still like what is there. the temple of bhaal was really fucking good, and i love that the dark urge turns out to be the architect of the absolutist cult.

[frabooks]

Recensioni pazzerelle

Delitto e castigo

Writing this was a crime and reading it was a punishment.

Instead of reading this book, drink vodka in a dark room and think depressing thoughts. That will give you about the same experience and you'll have a better time.

I read the first 100 pages and found myself thinking at several rambling points, "my god I don't give a fuck."

I felt like I should have liked it, but just couldn't.

Life is short, don’t read this lol

Initially I gave this book two stars, but on reflection, I'm deducting one.

Oblomov

Incredibly boring. >100 pages about a man who can't get up >100 pages about his boring dream of happiness where nothing happens >100 pages about him being shaken a little bit by a woman >100 pages about him being afraid of what ppl would say > 100 pages about him falling in love with a nice and considerate housewife who moves her elbows all the time >100 pages about his friend and "ex-gf" being in love and wondering how that old damn Oblomov can be saved

I had to read this in my 19th Century Russian lit course in college. This is another "shoot me now, PLEASE" books.

Very slow and depressing, a good reminder of a lifestyle one should Not lead.

Il Maestro e Margherita

The Chicago Tribune wrote: “The book is by turns hilarious, mysterious, contemplative and poignant, and everywhere full of rich descriptive passages.” Hilarious and contemplative my ass, CT. This book is an interminable slog.

I understand this book is a classic. I guess any leaden, murky, plotless book can be a classic, and this is a great example of that.

I started reading this book when I was in a very bad place. Finishing this made me realise if I can survive this painfully long and tortuous piece of literature, I can do anything.

I would gladly sell my soul to Woland if he promised to erase this book from my memory!

I never review anything. Why should you care about my opinion? However, what was most disappointing to me was that this book kept appearing on multiple lists of things I might enjoy based on things I've enjoyed in the past. I expected the internet to be right, and I'm angry that it failed me.

Whoever told me The Master and Margarita is Russia's greatest literary work should be sent to Siberia.

The author died before he could finish it. I’m sure that’s why it was so…incomprehensible …

Notre Dame de Paris

i would rather have had someone shoot me in the head with a nail gun, repeatedly, than have to read this again

I was not expecting this... I am almost lost for words - unlike HUGO of course who seemed to have words coming out of his ears..boy did this guy ramble on.

What a horror of a novel! A plot that a gargoyle would have trouble swallowing, a lecherous priest, an abysmally stupid young woman, and the hunchback who loves her but but whose misunderstandings lead indirectly to her death, and all written in the sort of dreadful Gothic style I have trouble tolerating for one chapter, much less 560 pages.

Il Signore degli Anelli

Save time... watch the movies.

can be summarised as: walking, walking, walking, bit of fighting with orcs, walking, walking, walking, anguish, walking, walking, walking, bit more fighting with orcs, walking, walking, walking.

i am tempted to go out and buy a wobbly table just so I can put this book to good use.

Based on the hit movies of the same name! The author of these novelizations took way too many liberties with the story line.

The lord of the rings wasn't even really IN this book, it was about short people who could barely manage rings at all. One star.

This book is boring, insufferable from the very first page. Those hobbits took like 100 or 120 pages to go out of their homes, cross the garden and go inside the forest. Leaving a village of 30 people took them like seven human years. Close the book to never open it again. And don't watch the movie either, it's even worst.

Se questo è un uomo

ok mi dispiace della tragedia che c’è dietro a questo libro ma è leggermente ripetitivo

noia

I fratelli Karamazov

Let me save you 900 pages and untold man hours: rich Russian asshole family members drink, yell, whore, steal one another's mates, murder, more screaming, philosophizing, more screaming, no subtlety to anything, all conversation between characters so over-the-top and full of passion as to be unrelatable. This was probably one of the biggest, most drawn-out yawns I have ever committed my time to.

Shame on you Mr Dostoyevsky.

This book was torture from start to finish. I forced myself to finish it only because I very quickly decided I would not be beaten by this pile of crap.

So that was 34 hours of my life that I can’t get back.

literally traumatizing. not a slay. nobody told dostoevsky to shut the fuck up and it shows

Memorie dal sottosuolo

They should’ve left it in Russian only

“So it is hardly literature so much as a corrective punishment” A punishment for us both Dostoyevsky.

An angry book about an angry man written for angry men. Whatever this genre of book is, I hope I never read anything like it again.

If you are suffering from a toothache or just got your wisdom teeth out, read chapter 4 of notes from underground. Or maybe don’t, it will only make you feel worse.

[bump1nthen1ght]

Sex on the Rocks (Merman x Reader)

Pairing: Male!Reader/Merman

Genre: Urban Fantasy, Established Relationship

Warnings: 18+ content under the cut!, Size Kink, Breeding Kink

Word Count: 2578 words

Summary: You and your boyfriend discover some new things about yourselves.

Request: May I request a Merman x Male Reader? With a size kink, and breeding kink if you're open to that. Thank you! ❤️

“Can you see it?”

“Nope! This rock’s a bit too slippery-” An unflattering yelp leaves you as your hand loses its grip on the stone, your wet feet lacking any grip as you slide off the boulder and back into the cold ocean water. Your head goes under for only a second before Juno grabs you by the armpits, yanking you back up.

You sputter and cough, collapsing back onto Juno’s chest as you shake water out of your hair. Juno cranes his neck forward, barely hiding a laugh.

“You good?”

“Y-yeah, just...lost my grip for a second.” You shrug off Juno’s hands. He quirks an eyebrow up, like he doesn’t believe you, and you roll your eyes. “The water’s like, five feet deep, I’ll survive.”

“I don’t know.” Juno teases, playing with your messy hair, “I know you humans aren’t the best at swimming. But don’t worry,” Juno throws his large arm around your shoulder, “I can be your Orca in shining armor.” Juno winks, a strand of his long, black hair falling over his shoulder. He looks like he belongs on a romance novel cover.

You push yourself off of  Juno’s chest, giving him a playful slap.“Okay, Romeo, whatever you say. But we should find a place to chill out if we want to catch the sunset.”

Juno laughs, pushing his hair out of his face before he nods.

The two of you usually come to this cove on your date nights, finding a nice spot on the beach to laze around and talk before watching the sun descend together. But some teenagers had decided to throw a huge bonfire this very night and the beach was way too crowded for any alone time. Juno’s idea had been to swim farther out into the sea and chill on some rocks, but so far none had been both comfortable and able to view the horizon.

The two of you look around, trying to find a rock safe enough for you to climb, before Juno hums.

“I got an idea.”

You barely have time to get out a ‘What” before Juno’s arms are wrapping around your knees and hoisting you up into the air, your hands scrambling to find purchase in his hair  as your legs wrap around his chest. Juno shows no sign of exertion as he presses up even higher, shifting his forearm to support your thighs and pointing you towards the sea. “How about that? Can you see it now?”

The wheeze that leaves you is a terrible impersonation of a ‘yes’, your face locked onto the ocean  as you feel your chest begin to burn with embarrassment.

Your ankles dig into Juno’s shoulder muscles, barely wrapping around his large torso as  his tree-trunk arms carry you like a bag of flour.

You knew Juno was strong; He’s a goddamn Killer Whale Merman with an upper body the size of a small table, of course he’s strong.

But wow, did the way he easily throw you around turn you on way more than you thought it would.

You nod your head, taking a deep breath as you try and focus on other things, not about  rock hard your boyfriend just got you.

Unfortunately for you, the position you're in has your crotch pressed right up against Juno’s chest, in between his strong pectoral muscles.

Juno’s eyes drop to your navel, clearly noticing your growing bulge. His expression doesn’t even shift;  His arms just loosen and let your body drop down, until you and him are face to face.

“Are you hard right now?”

You nod, trying to play it cool. It wasn’t as  if this was  weird, you two were dating, but  something about getting a boner from something so simple had you a little embarrassed. Like you were 13 years old again, sneaking peeks at porno magazines and Monster Manuals under your covers late at night.

“Was it because I picked you up?”

You pause, nodding slower this time as you avert your gaze. But a claw comes under your chin, tilting it towards Juno with a slow, controlled push.

Juno had always been a huge teddy bear. You wouldn’t think it, what with the rows of sharp teeth, his long claws, and the myriad of scars that decorate his back and shoulders. But he was as sweet and docile as an Orca Merman could be.

But the look in his eyes at this moment sends a shiver down your spine; They’re so intense and focussed, if you didn’t know better you would think you were about to become his next meal. He rolls his gaze up and down your body, noting how your breath catches when he moves his hand down your neck. He runs his hand downward, thumb brushing against your collarbone and his claws tickling your pulse point. He licks his lips and the smirk he gives you might be the sexiest thing you’ve ever seen.

“Oh, you like that? Then how about,” In a quick movement, he presses his body up against yours, forcing you against a nearby rock, “This?”

Water drips from his chest and onto your face as he pins one of his hands right next to your face, looking down at you with a sultry look. You suck in a harried breath as an overwhelming heat resonates in your belly. The end of his tail curls around your ankles under the water and his other hand wraps around your neck. His grip is light, but it serves as a reminder of how easily he can pin you down, how vulnerable you are in his large, very large hands.

‘Thats, uh,” You suck up the excess saliva building in your mouth, “That’s...r-really good.”

“Hmm?” Juno chuckles, playfully squeezing your neck before his hand drops down to your chest. He pushes his palm into your skin and flexes out his fingers, covering a good portion of your upper half. “You like being pinned, my little mate?”

Words have fully departed from your mind, so you just nod your head, breathless.

Juno leans down and places a gentle kiss on your jaw. It’s light and delicate, like the Juno you know, but the heat it spreads across your body is anything but.

“Naughty boy.” He whispers in your ear, before licking a stripe up your neck. You lean and curve your neck into his mouth, desperate for his affectionate kisses and nips. His teeth just barely meet your skin, enough to leave little bruises and send shocks across skin. “I can’t wait to fill you up.” Juno wraps his atoms under your thighs, yanking them around his hips and forcing you upward. Your crotch presses against his navel as he shifts you both toward a flatbed of stone. “You’ll look so good, dripping with my seed.” Juno hoists your body up onto the rock, his large hand pressing against your stomach and pushing you onto your back. You do so easily, the cold surface feeling especially icy against your flushed skin. Juno pulls himself over you, his triceps bulging as he lays his massive form on top of you. As he rests on his forearms, careful not to crush you under his weight, water drips from his soaked hair and onto your face. “My pretty boy. My beautiful, fuckable, mate.” Juno purrs, claws stroking the side of your face.

You weave your hands around his neck, pulling him down for a searing kiss. His tongue easily overwhelms yours as his large chest presses down into you. Your hands travel to his back and clench around his shoulder muscles, craving the feeling of his skin on yours. He’s so much taller than you that you barely reach his lower abdomen, but you fumble your hand downwards to his slit, eyes still clenched shut as you make out.

The hardness of his exposed shaft finds your fingers, dripping with his pre-cum and hot against your palm. You squeeze, clumsily and fervently, and Juno chuckles.

“So eager.” He pulls away, a long strand of saliva connecting you two. “Don’t worry, it’ll be deep,” Juno thrusts into your hand with a grunt, “deep inside you soon.”

With a soft pat on your cheek, Juno scoots himself down your body until his face is level with your crotch. He grabs the tent in your swim shorts, giving it a playful squeeze before grabbing the bottom of your thighs and lifting you up. You shimmy your hips to get the article of clothing off, but before it can even go past your ankles, Juno presses your lower half upwards and folds you in two.

You crane your neck forward, trying to see Juno’s next move, before the feeling of his hot tongue on your ass sends your head back against the rock. You let out a groan as Juno’s tongue begins to prod the ring of muscle, his large fingers leaving indents on your legs as he voraciously digs in.

Jun has always been quite dexterous with his long tongue; On your first date he showed off how easily he could tie a cherry stem into a knot, which had done things to your body not exactly appropriate for a first meeting. It’s also slightly ribbed at the sides, teasing your insides at just the right spots and adding an extra hint of friction as he reaches far inside you. You pant and claw at the rock below you, before finding purchase in Juno’s hair. Your climax grows steadier and steadier. It strains your shoulders and neck, but you try and peer up and look at how perfectly he eats your ass out.

Knife sharp, baby blue eyes meet yours, and it’s like a gallon of ice-water has just washed over you, goosebumps rising all over your skin as Juno sends you a wink.

You’ve never seen this playful, dominating side of him before. You can’t help but thank your improper boner for awakening it inside him. Especially when he hits that part- that part-ooooh.

Juno detaches with a pop, his tongue sliding out of your ass as he licks his lips. With one hand still firmly gripped around your thigh, he pushes himself up so you’re face to face. His long fingers splay out next to your neck, his palm easily matching the size of your head, as you give him a dazed and pleasured look.

“You ready?”

You nod, drool pooling in your mouth as your eyes wander up and down his body, your lower half seizing as he playfully squeezes your thigh. He removes it to grab his shaft, spitting into his palm as he strokes and places his tip at your entrance.

“Tell me if the stretch is too much, okay?” Juno whispers, that familiar sweetness back in his voice. You nod, but all you’re focused on is that little bit of pressure, teasing what's to come.

Juno slowly inserts himself and  he both of you throw your heads back with a groan. He worries his  bottom lip as he sinks farther and farther into you, pressing your thighs up to your chest. The harsh scrape of stone rings in your ears as his claws dig into the rock, small pebbles flying outward as he leaves long, white marks below him.

Your eyes roll into the back of your head as Juno finally reaches his base, comfortably seating himself inside you with a small roll of his hips. His chuckle is stuttered, peppered with a moan as he gives another tiny thrust.

“Hm, good job, taking me all the way in. For a second I thought I might be too-” Juno humps with a little more vigor, forcing the air out of your lungs, “Big for you.”

You shake your head. “N-No. You’re just-Ah!-right.”

Juno laughs again, giving you a small peck on the cheek.

“Good.”

With that, Juno slowly amps his pace, adding more thrusts with a lot more power. His jutting  hip bones dig into your  ass cheeks as he punctuates each thrust; Grinding deliciously against your prostate before pulling out until only the tip is left. He moves the hand by your head up to your other thigh, clutching tight as he lays his weight against your lower body. Your knees have been pressed into your collarbone, the stretch a little uncomfortable for your lower back, but the shockwaves of ecstasy do everything to relieve it.

“Don’t think-” Ungh “I’ve ever been this deep in you before.” Ah “Can’t wait to f-fill you, it will be so delicious.”

Your tongue has started to fall out of your mouth as your brain grows fuzzy, your only responses being slurred “Yes” and “Uh-huh.”

“You’re going to look so good, dripping with my cum. I’ll pump you so full, my beautiful little mate.” Juno’s claws dig into your skin, leaving small, white half-moons in the meat of your thigh. “Perfect little breeder. You’ll take it all, huh? Don’t want to waste-” Juno gives a harsh thrust, “a-” and then another, “-drop.”

You nod, movement uncoordinated as  your climax begins to reach its peak. The burning in your gut feels red-hot, and you wrap your ankles around Juno’s lower bag, urging him to go deeper, hit even harder. Juno lets out a delicious moan.

“You want it? Say it, beg for my cum.”

Juno slows down his thrusts, getting tantalizing close to your deepest spot before pulling out. You whimper.

“Please, please! Give me your cum, give me it, all of it!”

Juno leans down and gives you a long, passionate kiss, before resuming his pace. Your lower half begins to  jerk as you get closer, closer, closer-”

“Ungh, cumming!” Juno roars as the two of you climax together, his dick pouring thick load after load into your ass. You can feel it seep into your skin, dripping out of your ass as Juno rides out his own orgasm with tiny humps. The shiny substance coats his navel and crotch, catching the setting sun as he finally pulls out.

Your legs scream with relief as they uncurl, relaxing your legs onto the cool stone below. Juno unfurls his claws and collapses next to you, chest heaving and his skin flushed pink. The sound of your breath and the crashing waves is all that lingers, both of you too tired to even form a thought.

A shaky claw pets the side of your face, pushing some unruly hair out of the way. You turn your neck to  the side, enjoying Juno’s content and debauched face.

“We should,” He sighs, “Do that position more often.”

All you can do is nod, leaning just close enough to give your boyfriend a bunny kiss.

“Yeah, definitely.”

As the two of you catch your breath,you notice the blend of purples and pink hues off the sky above. You crane your neck upward a tiny bit and catch the slightest bit  of yellow, hinting a trail to the sunset, still out of your view.

You cuddle up to Juno’s chest, resting your head on his pecks, and point upwards.

“Do you see the colors?”

“Yeah,” Juno whispers, a claw playing with your hair, “It’s beautiful.”

The sun falls far away, the night sky darkening into a pitch black, with few spots free of light pollution. The wind brings a chill and you know the swim back is going to be a bitch on your muscles.

But in the arms of your boyfriend, everything feels perfect.

[moemammon]

When I was in High School, my crush and I got into a fight and neither of us were talking to each other. One day I was headed up the stairwell to get to my science class, when I saw them coming up from behind... I don't think they had even noticed me yet considering that they were busy talking to their friend BUT I am slow going up stairs so even if I rushed up the stairs roadrunner style they would have caught up to me, well; the little corner that connects the steps going up to the second floor and the steps heading down to the ground floor had a large open window... and I jumped out, like I literally just jumped out. I didn't even think it through, I just saw the window and my body was like "Yep, IK what to do." I landed on a bush or tree? It's too big to call a bush but too small to call a tree, landed in a squat before my feet gave out and I fall onto my knees and got two large grass stains on my jeans knee part, couldn't walk right either after that landing, I was shaky all day lol but it was a risk well calculated bc the whole thing would have been so awkward. I mean we used to be like BFFS before the rumors began and then they started and we just stopped talking without warning, we couldn't even look at each other. Our science partners, bc we were in groups of four, literally got fed up of our bullshit bc we literally refused to acknowledge the others existence... anyway, I digress...

Anyway, this whole story is a long winded way of me requesting how the brothers would react to an MC that literally just jumps out windows to avoid awkward moments, or to dodge people that want to ask them for favors, or when they straight up want to avoid someone?

And sorry about the large ass message, but thanks for letting me vent

You have a special place in my heart, window-jumping anon. Just uhhhhhhh look down next time okay? Ily

The Demon Brothers react to GN!MC jumping out of a window to avoid an awkward moment

(Mario jumping sound effect)

Lucifer

He approached you after class to ask exactly what you were snickering at your D.D.D. about during class.

Must've been real funny if you weren't listening to your lecture, huh?

"I imagine you've somehow found something worthy of laughing about in Demonology 101?"

You do not have the guts to tell him that you and Mammon were texting back and forth, abusing a new photo editing app to alter pictures of the eldest himself.

I mean, take a wild guess about how he’d react to seeing how big you edited his head to be-

The avatar of pride lets his eyes pierce into you, like he's trying to stare a hole through your blanket of "uh"s and "um"s,

You don't exactly see a way out of this one, but you can NOT let Lucifer see your photo gallery.

So you glance to your left to the open classroom window, and do the only thing you can think of: you jump.

Luckily you're on the ground floor so you??? really didn't have to jump so dramatically. But the fact that you yeeted yourself into a bush JUST to escape has left Lucifer speechless.

Honestly? He so impressed with your dedication that he's not gonna stop you. Besides, he's gonna see you back at home anyway so-

Also thinks you might be hanging around Mammon too much because that 100% seems like a stunt he’d pull.

Mammon

GIVE GOLDIE BACK RIGHT NOW

He KNOWS Lucifer told you to bring the credit card to him, and he demands to know where it's hidden! He's positive you know where it is!

But you don't really though?? You just brought the card to him like you were asked. If anything, you're the victim here!

But Mammon isn't having that. The avatar of greed is circling around you like an angry cat, patting you all over like airport security to see if you've got his beloved card.

"Where is it, huh?! Ya really think you can steal from THE Mammon?! Even if Lucifer told ya to, who do ya think you are?!"

When he has confirmed that you don't in fact have his previous Goldie, he's now cornering you up against a wall.

If looks could kill, you would've exploded into a fine powder

And you feel like your mental strength is about to do just that. So what do you do after you notices the slightest of breezes caress your face?

You jump outta that open window, before Mammon can even finish his "Wh- Oi! What're ya-"

Even though you just face planted into the garden, you're up on your feet and making a mad dash for somewhere that wasn't here.

Mammon lets you run for ten while seconds before he's hopping out after you. You think you can outfox the Great Mammon?! Think again!!!

Levi

You... weren't interested in this movie in the slightest, but you didn't have the heart to tell Levi that. Especially not after he’d begged/harassed you for the past week about watching it with him!

Reluctantly you agreed, and now you were suffering,,,But Levi was ecstatic! This movie was a classic! Sure it was an old one and the acting was a little bad, but you could overlook that if you watched it with your heart, not your eyes!

According to Levi.

You managed to keep your eyes open for the grueling one and a half hour movie, enduring every corny line of bad acting, horrible CGI, and lame sound effects straight out of a 90s super hero movie, and now the hell was finally over...

Or so you though, until Levi followed that up by immediately pulling out a cosplay outfit worn by one of the supporting characters in the show.

Funny how it seemed specifically tailored to your measurements. Even funnier how Levi was looking at you with those damned eyes.

You knew what he wanted without him even having to say it. But one look at the gaudy outfit he presented to you made your heart burn with a sudden indescribable urge.... to escape.

Honestly you caught him so off guard by suddenly getting up and sprinting out of the room, that he makes a sound that's pretty much the noise equivalent of "?!?!?!?!?!?"

He watches you run down to the end of the hall, throw the window open, and fuckin JUMP. Pretty sure he just witnessed your death??

Also this kinda solidified his 'gross otaku' mentality, seeing as you literally jumped out of a window to get out of cosplaying with him. A simple no would've sufficed, MC.......,.,,..,,,

Hey gamers... can we get an F in the chat? 😔✌️💦

Satan

Satan lent you a book to read last week that he was sure you'd be interested in! He found it pretty interesting himself, so he wants to see if you'd like it as much as he did.

That being said, you don't have the heart to tell him that you,,, didn't read any of it. Well you kind of did, if the cover counts for anything.

You doubt he would accept that as an answer, considering how you told him how much you appreciated receiving the book, and how you'd definitely read it and let him know how it was.

So now, Satan had come into your room with two cups of tea, ready to settle down and have a nice, long talk about your thoughts on the riveting plot that you promised you would indulge in.

"I'm really glad you decided to read it. I found that the protagonist reminded me a lot like you. I'd like to know what you thought about it."

Satan sets down the tea cups, and one sip tells you that he brewed it exactly the way you like.

His expression is eager and warm as he waits for you to begin gushing about just how deeply the story touched you... how absolutely moved you are by the sheer majesty that was the book he lent you...

Okay yeah, you're sweating bullets. You can't imagine how the sparkly eyed avatar of wrath would react to learning that you chose the company of your D.D.D. over Satan's book.

You don't have such an ice cold hard that you can just crush this book nerds dreams like that! And every time you look at his expectant face, the weight of your crimes weigh heavier on you until... you break.

Satan watches in shock and awe as you almost perfectly reenact the big scene where the main character leaps out of the window of a building rigged to explode, before making their escape. And you did just that.

Wow.. he never thought you could be so moved by a story, but he completely understands...

Asmo

How many outfits, Asmo. HOW MANY OUTFTITS WILL IT TAKE TO APPEASE YOU?

He's made you model TWELVE outfits so far, and you swear if you see another ascot, you're gonna lose your mind.

Asmodeus doesn't seem to notice the way the light slowly fades from your eyes, because he's pulling out outfit number thirteen with that cheery smile of his.

"Isn't this one absolutely adorable? Look, this part will look lovely around your waist! This part here hugs your body in all the right places, and this-"

You can't do it. You've gotta get out of here. You'd love to stand around and get mild rug burn from trying on a billion different clothes, but-

Actually no you wouldn't.

You DID promise Asmo you'd hang out with him today, but this wasn't really your idea of a good time.

"-Oooh, just thinking about it makes me want to eat you up~! Here, put it on for me, will you? I'll give you a kiss as a reward!"

You would do no such thing.

You make a mad dash for his ornate window and push it open. He has no time to stop you as he helplessly watches you vault yourself out like the room was on fire.

"MC?! Wh-where are you going?? Come back here! Grass stains are impossible to get out of that fabric!!!"

Beel

He means well. I swear he does. It's just that Beel can be a little... overbearing when he's worried about you. He cares, okay?

But he hasn't seen you eat anything all day! You tell him it's because you've got a stomach ache from who knows what, and you promise you've had little snacks here and there to keep from starving, but he can't accept that!

Eating is important, and you need it to survive. So Beelzebub was currently trying to nudge your mouth open with a pizza slice, while you vehemently refused. "Just one bite. And then another after that. You have to eat, or you'll go hungry... and I don't want that."

Beel knows the true pain of being hungry, and he’d never wish that on you! So just forget about your stomach ache for two seconds and open up-

Not that you really can. The aroma of that pizza was not sitting well on your stomach, and you were pretty sure you needed a fast escape or you'd risk losing your lunch. Greasy foods didn't exactly mix well with sour stomachs...

Beel still won't let up. He has a strong hand planted firmly on the small of your back, as if trying to prevent you from leaning back any further in your attempt to escape the pizza.

"If you eat this, I'll treat you to dessert at Madam Screams," he says, as if bribing your refusal of food USING food will somehow work out.

You can't break his heart, but you seriously can't eat that! Your head is spinning, thoughts racing, face becoming greasier and greasier from the pizza pressed against it, and-

You snap. In a sudden burst of strength you break free from Beel's grasp, and sprint toward the nearest window. All you see is your chance for freedom, and you're taking it.

You leap out and tumble into the ground, all while Beelzebub wonders what?? Just happened???? Did you really hate pizza that much...?

He never knew you were such a picky eater... To think you'd go so far as to jump out of the window though...

Belphie

You thought it was cute at first, when Belphegor wanted you to join him for his naps. And you didn't mind much. It was the weekend, you were tired, and he makes a pretty good body pillow.

But you didn't realize he planned for this to become an everyday thing. The youngest might not act it, but he sure could be spoiled.

But seriously, if you slept any longer, you might never have a normal sleep schedule again! It never occurred to you just how often Belphie sleeps.

He's definitely not human, because there's no way you can keep up with that, and maintain a normal lifestyle.

But the way he quietly, gently grabs your sleeve to cue your next nap session makes your heart clench. Why was it so damned hard to say no to this gremlin??

You were trying your best though, but the words always seemed to get caught in your throat. Belphie picked apart your excuses, doing everything in his power to take you back to the attic.

"You can study when you wake up." "Mammon wants to go shopping? Reschedule." "Lucifer told you not to be late to the board meeting? Just hide."

You're starting to get sucked into the sleepy lull of his voice, and it feels like your entire body is becoming heavy with fatigue. But no.... you resist!

Since there's no escaping this through words, you have to think fast. Fortunately, your fast thinking has led to an amazing solution!

Jump out of the window, baby

Belphie is just??? Did you fuckin???? Are your legs okay??????????????

He probably stops asking you to nap with him for a while, since you're willing to almost break your legs just to get out of it. You're gonna make him have weird dreams....

[andrea-lyn]

look at me, I am old, but I’m happy

(for @christchex because I truly believe her to be #1 Sanders supporter)

The damn kids are keeping something from him. None of them are good liars at the best of times, but every time Sanders shows up when Michael’s friends are around, suddenly they go real quiet. At first, he writes it off as stupid youthful hormone shit. It’s probably something to do with that Manes boy that Michael doesn’t want to talk about. Only, then Alex Manes starts coming around, Michael’s a lot happier, and the weird behavior keeps going. Something’s up, and it’s something Michael’s actively not telling him. “You know, I ought to fire you,” Sanders says one Sunday, when he and Michael are working on the sunflower fields. Michael scoffs, glancing up from the seeding mechanism he’s been working to fix, but he avoids meeting Sanders’ eyes. He’s known this boy since he tripped out of a pod and he knows when he’s about to be lied to. “I’d like to see you try,” he mutters, but his curiosity is sparked. “Why are you bothering to do that when most of my time is volunteered?” “Because you and your friends are keeping something from me.” “We’re not,” Michael lies. “You’re a terrible liar, boy,” Sanders warns, but he lets him get away with it. Just this once, he lets him. Michael waves him off and grabs his bundle of sunflowers to take back to the Airstream. He doesn’t say what or who they’re for, but Sanders knows. It’s the Manes boy, who’s been lurking around and grinning like an idiot all the time. With Michael gone, Sanders is left to consider what it is that’s being whispered about behind his back. There’s enough alien secrets in this town to fill a gossip rag, but Michael’s been fairly honest with him recently, even if he’s been trying to hide how gone he is over his thing with Alex Manes. The truth is this -- he’s an old man. The boy he used to be is a memory and a distant one at that. He’s taken Walt and locked him away behind mountains of bottles and liquor. There’s so much trauma related to those days that he actively works as hard as he can to forget it, and that’s why it takes him so long to realize that maybe he actually knows a bit more than he realizes when it comes to one of those alien secrets.

The secret they’re keeping comes to roost soon after. Well, roost ain’t exactly the word. “They still allow relics like you in this place?”

When Sanders had still been a child and had been happy with Miss Nora and Miss Louise, he’d always recalled their tension around the man they called Jones. They tried to keep it a secret from him then, too, and it’s irritating as hell that history’s repeating it-damn-self. “Relics like me belong more than you do around here,” Sanders scoffs, tossing the wrench into the toolbox. “I’m looking for Michael.” Sanders turns to take in the look of him. He blames his age on the fact that Max Evans never made him feel that icy chill down his spine to spark recognition. All those years with that face in front of him and he never remembered Jones, not until the alien himself busted out and started scaring Sanders all over like he’s a kid. He’s not a kid, though. He’s an old man tired of this bullshit and he’s not about to let an asshole push him around. “Michael,” Sanders says sharply, “ain’t none of your business.” “He’s none of yours either,” Jones says calmly. “Besides, you’re right. It’s not business. It’s family.” It comes back in fits and starts. Miss Nora’s discomfort with Jones’ hand on her shoulder, but the possessive way Jones held onto her. The way Jones had always seemed more occupied with one of the pods. The possessive and keen look in his eye when he’d looked at Walt dismissively, like a human child that Nora took a liking to could never pass muster. There’s only one explanation that Sanders sees, but as far as he’s concerned, it’s crap. “You’re not that boy’s father,” Sanders scoffs. “Or, you might be by blood or whatever alien junk flows through those veins of yours. That boy needed a father growing up and I sure as hell didn’t do the job well enough, but at least I’ve been here. At least I’ve been trying. That’s a hell of a lot more than you can say.” He’s an old and very stupid man, seeing as he knows how much Jones can hurt him. That raised alien hand glowing furiously red is a bad sign, but Sanders decides that if this is how he’s going out, defending Michael is the way he wants to go. “I might have been late getting my act cleaned up, but I still gave him everything I could. I’d die for that boy,” Sanders vows. “For my kid.” Jones scoffs, amused by Sanders’ loyalty like it’s a joke, but then, he always has been an ass, hasn’t he? “Funny you should say that, because today’s your lucky day for getting what you want.” He approaches swiftly, but before he can seal that glowing hand on Sanders’ chest, he just … stops. Sanders refuses to blink. He’s going to stare down his death as long as Jones wants to kill him, which is why he doesn’t notice that he’s being held in place by someone else’s alien powers. “Try,” Michael Guerin snaps at Jones, where he’s holding a bundle of sunflowers in one hand, and holding Jones in place with the other. “You’re not gonna like what happens to you.” Sanders is pretty sure Michael’s bluffing and that when it comes to these two, Michael’s not the one with the upper hand. Still, Jones is playing some kind of long game, because he steps back and lifts both hands up, stepping back and away. “Just two old friends catching up,” he insists, a look in his eyes that says he’s coming back to find Sanders when Michael’s not around. Still, he goes. He goes and he doesn’t look back, leaving Sanders to exhale, slumping over the pick-up truck he’s been working on. “What the hell were you thinking?” Michael demands. “Taunting him like that? He’s an evil dictator! He’s…” “Yeah, yeah, I got the gist decades ago,” Sanders cuts him off. “All I know is what he’s not, and that’s any kind of father to you. Because I might not be the world’s best Dad, but when it comes to it these days, he doesn’t get to swan in and make you feel like you owe him anything. He doesn’t get to make you feel like you belong to him.” This is all getting too damn emotional for him, but he wants to make one thing clear. “I know I didn’t manage the way I should’ve, but if anyone’s a father to you these days, it’s me.” With that said, he gives a firm nod, and hopes that he’s not going to do anything embarrassing like start crying about it. Well, he might not, but Michael’s struggling to keep it together, by the looks of it, so maybe that’s exactly what it is he needs to hear. “What the hell are you doing back here anyway?” Sanders grunts, when the awkward silence drags on too long. Michael clears his throat, gesturing to the Airstream with the flowers (and conveniently wiping at his nose). “I forgot some papers that I wanted to go over with Alex,” he says, “Lucky I did, or you would’ve been alien dust.” “I got a few tricks up my old sleeves,” Sanders promises, even if he doesn’t have them yet. “So. You and Alex Manes, huh? You ready to admit to me that it’s a thing yet?” Michael wrinkles his nose, but he’s clearly not thinking about Jones anymore, so Sanders considers it a mission accomplished. “How about you start worrying about how much of a thing it is when Alex needs to come get permission from my Dad to marry me,” Michael quips, and he sounds free and happy and brazen and goddamn high. It’s the most that Sanders could ever hope for. “That likely to happen anytime soon?” Michael shrugs, ducking back out of the Airstream with the papers. “You know I don’t do things slow.” “Don’t I ever,” he mutters. “Just warn me before I got alien grandchildren running around the damn scrapyard, will you? The place needs to be alien-proofed.” The look of sheer glee on Michael’s face settles something in Sanders’ chest. He knows he’s happy. He knows he’s settled. He might have missed too many damn years when he was younger, but at least he’s trying now. “Go on,” Sanders encourages. “Go be with your friend,” he teases. “You gonna be okay?” “I’ve survived worse,” Sanders promises. “Now, get,” he insists, and watches Michael leave the scrapyard, off to woo his paramour. As for him? Well, he’s got a hell of a long drive ahead of him to get to the reservation if he wants to pick up some pollen, but after tonight, Sanders figures he ought to protect himself. He’s got a family to worry about, after all. 

[oh-for-fic-sake]

The Detectives Den

Masterlist

Summary: walter take you to a cabin for what you thought was a romantic weekend, but he has an ulterior motive afterall mateing season is just arou d the corner~

Warnings: Adult Situations +18, Smut, rough sex, primal sex, male dom, werebear Walter, Mating, Breeding, Turning, Noncon Bite?, claiming bites, soulmates, au shifter

A/n: so here it is! The were bear i started months ago and abandoned but picked up again today because of this post. Typos ahoy!

Taglist: in reblogs

You cried into the matress clawing desperately unsure if it was an attemt to help the huge male above you, or tryingmto escape him. For some reason since being here at the cabin he seemed different? Instead of being your huge soft teddy bwar he was wild, dark and growly both at peace and on edge. It was like he was now this big bad bear of a man, growling and strong all macho 'chop wood and start fire'

You grunted as he rutted harder almost fucking your hips pff the bed sending your feet scrabbling on the wooden floor, your socks sliding on the smooth wood.

"oh god~ sl-slow down! WalteAGH~" you cried out pressing up onto your elbows and stamping a foot on the floor grunting. Walter snarled into your back almost viciously before pressing an open mouthed kiss to your back lappjng the salty skin. He growled feeling his inner beast beat on his own restraint. The beed to uck and bit was almost overpowering. He wanted you dripping, ozzing his cum as he stained your perfect frailty with his venomous bite and change you for the better. He needed it like he'd never needed anything in his life. It was his own fault he was so needy and eager... restless. Hed had you at his side for six months far to lost in his bliss of having his mate he'd all but forgot about the mating season untill he was weeks away.

He snarled grolwing deeper and deeper his inner bears bellows trying to break through damanding you put your head down and take your mating properly. Face down ass up and minimal complaints! The deep sounds echoed through as the harsh breaths and grunts fanned over the sensitive skin of your shoulder blades.

"W-walt! Fuck please- hurry!" You whimpered over your shoulder as the large hands of your lover held you still bent over the bed pinning your hips into the matress and he thundered away, burrying himself to the hilt again and again still trying to feed you every thing he had and more. You cried out as he arched, tipping his hips striking your clit with his heavy sack moaning out his pleasure, the small pats making his cock twitch flexing agaisnt your tight channel as he speared you pryingnyou opene like never before.

These were no calculated strokes, he was fucking you with little care to how you withered and cried at his onslaught. Maybe thats why he brought you out here? You were deep in the woods and no one could hear you scream out your pleasure.

He growled low in his throat again biting back at his beast who was watching as you keened and scrabbled bent over on the bed your bare back glistening, tiny beads of sweat rolling down your sides. The scent of your arousal was enough to make him rabid, he needed this! Needed the release. His instincts were screaming savagely just below His mate! His female! His entierly!

And you were. He'd known the second he'd seen you in the cells. He thougt you were coming to bail out your foster dad who'd been caught at the center of a party filming a snuff film. A dark bdsm practice where the sub was unknowinly 'snuffed out' usually sufficated or break their neck from trying to escape. Either way it was a disgusting practice that was hard to pin blame, who was the one to arrest? The person tying the bonds? The dom? The spectators?

As it turned out you were there to cuss him out and hand in evidence phone records, emails, previous incidences. It turned out your father had been arranging these snuff films as a quiet hitman business silently offing people for a price.

Walter had gone out of his way to protect you, luring you to him with sweet dates and raw sex appeal. It had taken just over two months but he managed to secure a relationship with you. Youd been a couple for six months now, and finally it was time!

Finally he could claim you as his own kind did. Allbeit a tad late with only weeks to get you used to your rightfull place. Beside him. Below him!

He'd managed to et you out here to his den, secluded in the forest for a month long stay, mot that you knew it'd be a month. He'd said it'd be a long week end, you wasnt the outdoorsy type... well not yet.

"Shh, shh mate~ calm down you'll get there, just not yet... don't come yet we need- I need you to hold on for me" walter growled lowly into you making you sob and slump on the bed moaning into the covers. He moved slower trying to remember you were human, no matter how close the season was he couldnt mate you just yet. He had to give you the bite, then claim and help you come around to your new form and mate you... all in three weeks. If he tried to mate you properly now youd never survive him.

"Bu-but Bear!? Please i cant!" You wailed grunting and pressed back on him urgently unaware of just what was about to happen. He almost felt guilty, but it was better this way. Bite and help them transition then breed and continue the line. Or risk looseing you? His one mate! Once you were turned you'd feel the bond and wouldnt leave. It was how things were done, tradition!

Walter shook his head ridding the doubts that collected in his mind before chuckling... if only you knew how right you were~. Because be was a bear, a grizzly to be exact. It always brough a smirk to his face when you called him that, it'd soon be an inside joke between you. For every shifter there was a soul mate. The wolves had it easy,being pack animals their mates were mostly wolves themselves. But bears? No. Bears were solitary and their mates tended to be human.

For everything that happened in his life, he never imagined getting such a sweet gentle mate! You were a prize, his prize. Gifted to him by the old gods. You'd love and raise his cubs to be strong, fierce boy's and dainty smart females. His mind drifted, he couldnt wait to fill you, to plant his seed inside your womb and watch you create his cubs. But first he had claim you.

His eyes glazed as you beat at the bed arching your back to him trying desperately to pull him deeper clenching your pussy tight trying to force him to his own end where you could join him. You walls trembled as the suckled on him desperate to have walter quake at the knees and rut you into a tantelizing climax.

Walter snarled eyes now flickering with the burnt red brown that his beast held, the copper tinge glowing with a primal rage and need to latch onto his female and hold her still, repriand his sow for trying to take control and steal his seed before he was read to gift it to her!. Thoughts of tearing the skin and biting you twisted around his mind like a raging storm, his fangs ached. The venomous gift that would seal your fate to his forever thrumming in his jaws eagerly waiting. He was ready. He.was .ready! Years of woundering, then months of play the human game had made him impatient. He needed it, needed to feel the bond tie you together!

"Fine! You asked for it!" He snarled, an inhuman tremorto his voice made you pause, just as you tried to turn and question him you screamed out in panic. Walter bit you. Hard!

You thrashed squealing and panicking, kicking your splayed legs as your neck siezed, cramping. You muscle constricting around what felt like two deep thorns searing into you. Then a deep burn built. You cried in panic, fat tears rolling down your face mind bearly grasping what was going on around you. The shunts of your lovers hips became heavier and more pronounced, every breathnow a severe growl ratteling your bones. His cocks invasion slicing through the pain and terror as he moved faster and harder into you hitting your clit.

You wept tears streaming down your face as he fucked you rougher growling into your neck. Then despite the pain and fear the knot in your tummy snapped and you came around him. The trembling and mind numbing orgasm tore through you making you massage his still thrusting cock. You sobbed collapsing, giving up the fight as your sensitive body ached.

As if rewarding you for finally giving in Walter released your neck leaving it wet. You shuddered knowing that there would be blood but there wasnt much you could do about it. You keenesoftly as he roared over you victoriously painting your insides with his essence, lightly fucking into you. Instinct driving him to scent your cunt as deep as he could for your change, so youd smell of him warding off all other males in the area. This female was taken.

"Fuck. Fuck that was- better then the stories" he hummed over you smileing to himself head hanging down feeling at peace now his mate was claimed and would change. You'd be like him, strong fierce and safe. Able to take care of yourself and protect yourself and his young... fend off any vile human, fend off anyone but him~ your bear, your male, your mate!

"W-walter? My neck? What did you do?! Whh did you!- it feels funny it tingling" you panicked as walter pulled away from you befor slowly crawling onto the bed pullingnyou gently onto the soft bedding tugging you up to rest on your back.

"Its fine, perfect even- its the venom getting to work love" he explained cooing at you wiping you down patting the wohndmon your neck. In his spare of the moment bite he'd been rougher then he could have been, and that was part of the reason his venom was making you go limp already.

"V-VENOM! WHAT VENOM?" You bellowed now bawling panting, hyperventilating eyes wide and tears rolling down your face. His heart clenched as your hand waved in the air trying to hold him but you couldnt feel it, only a heavy numb limb that was useless.

"No, no its not bad- not bad my we t little mate... your turning, you'll turn and be like me" walter said hushingnou craning over you taking your waving hand an pressing kisses to the palm.

"Turn?! What are you- you bite me! We need help! Im gojng numb! Cold walter im bleeding out! Am i bleeding!?" Yu yipped still not understanding what was goingnon? He bit you... HE BIT YOU!? you tried pryingnyour hand free wanting to feel the damage on your neck. The room was spinning, you were growing cold you felt li,e you were dying!

"No shh your not bleeding, your turning... youve taken the bite soo well, so well love... you'll be fine... you'll sleep and then wake up stronger then ever" walter hummed fawning over you, giving you small gentle stroke's he knew he couldnt sit you down and explain, you were falling fast. He just had to reassure you untill you drifted off into the change.

"Wha?"

"Shh im here im here mate... your gonig to be a bear just like me" he whispered softly grinning down at you unable to stop. He was too damn proud, he found you and bit you! Youd be with him always!

"Bear?" You muttere trying to hold him closer as the room began shimmering, lights and blaack dots laceingnyour vision as the heated chill rushed through you drowning your body in a strange soothing yet frightening feeling.

"Yes... I'm a shifter, I brought you here to- to my den, the den of my forefathers, ive given you the bite just as my father did to our mother inthis very cabin!" He rushed trying to explain best as he could not liking the scent of terror on you. He never wanted to scare you, but fear was inevitable. Still if he could ease your worries before you succumbed he would.

"What- walter im- its fuzzy!" You cried desperately tryingnto cling to the little consciousness you had. But it was getting harder as the seconds ticked by.

"Hush im here, it's the change my love... youll be like me... a bear shifter- and just before mating season too...You'll change and then we will mate over and over untill your carrying my cubs~" walter said as a lump swelled in his throat. His father had said this was the worst bit. The fear and panic as your new found mate fell to the transformation. But as the guilt and anxiety sent in so did the excitement of your furture. Your mateing, your family-cubs and a den of your own! It was enougn to make the grown boar cry like a young cub!

"W-walt your scaring me~" you slurred as the room began spinning, a hot sensation coursing through your veins but your skin was cool and prickling.

"Shh its okay love, you need to sleep, just rest when you wake things will be... they will be perfect, sleep, give in don't fight, you dont want to be awake for this part" he said movi g to lay your hand back down at your side. Then sat up besode you looking around for another pillow tomprop under your head.

"W-walter! No, dont leave-" you cried bawling frightened as your eyelids got heavy, he sounded as if he was drifting further from you. Bringing another wave of panic, especiallywhen he placed your hand down.

"I'm not, i wont leave you, not for a second my beautiful female" he said leaning over you holding your chin peppering kisses over your face. Making sure you felt he was still there even as you drifted into the comatose state that would protect you from the pain of your initial transformation. You cries slowly doed off as you closed your eyes unable to fight anymore and let the black take you.

Walter stayed put watching you with baited breath. Now it was his job to gaurd you. Protect and care for you as the grueling first shift took holdand he spied what bear you'd be. The venom in all shifters was the same, each becmea different animal in accordance to their individual traits. He was a grizzly one of the largest bear, his cousin geralt was a polar bear and sy a kodiak. He knew youd be a bear because you were mates, and thats just how it worked.

He sat back cringing as you grunted moaning as things began to shift, your body would rid itself of toxins and ailments first. Flush your system before the real process began. He stood from the bed making his way to the bathroom to fetch the many damp towels he'd need to clean you up. It had been him to insight the change and now it was his duty to care for you through this difficult transition. And it would be is absolute pleasure, because this was the all important duty for him as a male his kind, this would tighten his bond with your beast. He would oversee everything and help you, even help break bones to help you shift faster. Anything to get you through a full shift cycle, to beast and back so you could awaken that little bit faster and begin your life as a true pairing. Despite th grusome nature of the event, walter couldnt be more pleased because thos was the true beginning of his life with you, and he wouldnt change a damn thing.

[chiwhorei]

𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐯𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐮𝐞𝐬

paring: kenny ackerman x fem!reader

genre: apocalypse!au, smut, dark content, 18+ mdni [cross-posted to Ao3]

word count: 3k

overview: kenny *i-wouldn’t-fuck-you-if-it-was-the-end-of-the-world* ackerman; but it is and you do . . . and you’ll probably do it again. or, if you read beyond the cut and wind up in hell that is legally not my fault.

tags: dymph does sacrilege once again, post-apocalypse au, blood, violence, zombies (only mentions of gore nothing specific), somnophilia, noncon, dubcon, degradation, smoking, insertion, sloppy oral, big age gap aka kenny is a nasty old man and reader is a sweet little virgin.

a.notes: happy *fucking* easter. this is for the smut pile’s apocalypse collab so go give everyone’s pieces a read, everyone has worked so incredibly hard. this is dedicated to @pleasantanathema​, who was both my beta reader and emotional support while stringing this together. here’s to the old man fuckery, cheers.

hymn: the seven deadly virtues - camelot

But stay awake at all times, praying that you may have strength to escape all these things that are going to take place, and to stand before the Son of Man. -Luke 21:36

                                      * * *

Wet.

A sticky kind of wet. Clinging on like thick clay, splattered across your neck— gore and sinew wrapped in a noose. Shades of decaying reds and browns are all you see these days. 

The seeping, molding kind of wet.

The smell is suffocating, the toll of death deep in your bones. You keep moving, you have to. One foot in front of the other, fingers fretting with the cross hanging between your collarbones. Counting your Hail Mary’s distracts from the ache in your soles and the burning feeling that you’re rotting away.

It was slow at first. The end of the world, the crashing, clattering end felt like a slow decent to hell. Pieces of the modern world falling away, the promise of tomorrow, the assurance of a cure. You refused to believe the dead could walk the earth until they were stumbling straight towards you. 

All of us, you think, are rotting away.

“Pick up the pace, kid. Are you trying to end up like the rest of those fuckers?” His voice rings from a few feet in front of you. The brush under your feet is dry, leaves crunching loudly with every weary step forward. 

Kenny always likes to remind you of your naïveté, insults about your rose tinted glasses barked crudely from around a cigarette. Your youth, your optimism, your beliefs-- useless traits in his opinion. What good is God in a world like this.

“Friends. They were our friends.” Your words come out in a whimper, the tone further irritating the man ahead of you.

He stops, turning around to catch your eyes, gaze piercing through the night like a knife. All that’s left of your composure is used to keep from crashing right into his chest.

“Ain’t no more room for friends in this world, baby doll,” a long pointer finger lifts your chin, the slightest touch still bruising, “thinkin’ like that is what’s going to get ya killed.”

Rose tinted glasses, cracked and splattered with blood, fall off and are lost to a world that no longer exists. Kenny let’s up and turns, pulling you farther into the thick brush. You could swear you feel the lenses as they splinter under your shoe.

                                      * * *

Kenny is a vile man. He knows his name isn’t on a reservation list at the Pearly Gates, he’s aware that a sinner lives on borrowed time. 

Nowadays, everyone is living on borrowed time. Even you.

You, he thinks, looking back to where you stumble over a tree branch, far to good for a world like this.

He can’t help but laugh, the absolute absurdity of his current situation. Escaping death by the skin of his teeth, watching any familiar faces burning in the remnants of a camp he couldn’t really call home. People that fought to the bone, melting or devoured or both.

And then there was you, standing in front of the flames, tears falling down the apples of your cheeks, stiff in shock and horror. He remembers the way your lips moved, mumbling a quiet prayer instead of trying to run. Stupid little thing.

It’s not the earth the meek inherit; it’s the dirt.

Was it pity that made Kenny pull you away from an infernal gravesite all those months ago? He’s never the hero of any story. No, it must have been something else.

Maybe it was the way you looked up with teary eyes, silently begging for help. Unwittingly making a deal with the devil. His teeth grind at the memory, the vision of how beautiful you look so completely helpless. 

Kenny leads and you follow, he hunts and you flitch at the sound of an arrow piercing flesh. The small squeak and proceeding thumb of meat as it hits the ground never fails to make you sick. When he’s not hunting for food, he’s hunting something else.

The sounds of death are all the same.

Some days you’re lucky, coming across abandoned hideouts or deserted cars. Snagging whatever hasn’t already been picked over; some ammo, the occasional can of peaches or pack of cigarettes. Kenny laughs dryly everytime, chucking the carton into his bag. Always the cigarettes, never the lighter. Most days, not so much.

Every night, you fall asleep to the flicker of a campfire, lulled by the steady sound of Kenny’s knife as it scrapes against a piece of wood. He’s always the last asleep. The woods are a dangerous place, the possibility of monsters circle at every moment. Under the veil of night, anything could happen. And it does.

He wipes his mouth, settling back into the harsh ground below him with a pleased hum. Your whimpers have settled back into a light snore. 

Kenny is a vile man, and you’re too concerned with the lifeless villain in the shadows that you forget about the one sitting on the other side of the fire.

Three months of waking up to aching limbs and misplaced panties can’t be a coincidence, can it?

                                      * * *

“Well ain’t this something.” Kenny pulls on the door, swinging it open with a loud creek. Your neck strains to look up at dark wood and steepled roof, the tall building hidden by dense forest, you two must be the first people to step inside in months. 

“A church.” You’d find comfort within these walls if you weren’t so positive that God had abandoned this world.

Statues of the Virgin Mary and Saint Joseph are empty behind their stone eyes, shadowed with an unsettling shade of red from the stained-glass windows. The moment is a time capsule, a vision of the congregation of saints bathed in blood.

A chill runs down your back, counting every vertebrae.

You push down the unsettling foreboding, focusing back on the instincts to survive instead of lingering on a religion that you can no longer make sense of.

“Hey kid, over here.” You pick up the pace, quickening footsteps away from holy symbolism and towards Kenny’s voice. You walk into the closest room off a dark hallway and find him leaning against the doorframe. The rooms are getting darker with the vanishing sun, but you make out shelves of cans and boxes, food, blankets, clothes.

“I bet they used this as a food pantry,” Your comment was probably an obvious assumption, but Kenny just hums in response, “there’s enough here to last up months.” 

Good samaritans in the first life are a saving grace is this one. Your cynicism lifts from heavy shoulders for just a moment. The lines between luck and divine intervention are fuzzy at best.

“I saw a well right outside too. Water’s probably cold as ice but it’s better than anything we’ve come across yet.” Kenny’s voice is even, but you swear he cracks a smile.

He was right, the water is cold enough to shatter your bones like ice. You shiver and chatter, teeth threatening to crack, but the feeling of being clean has you dumping bucket after bucket over your head. The grime and grit of your reality running down to seep into the grass below.

There’s no home to run to after the world ends, but water and food is more than you could imagine in recent months. Shuffling through boxes of donated clothes, you find a shirt big enough to sleep in. The fabric smells like moth-balls and dust, but the feeling of clean cotton against your skin is heavenly. 

You find Kenny in the clerical office, rummaging through the priests desk. The sun is replaced with a flight of candles, for the first time in forever, you don’t feel like death is standing right behind you.

“Would you look at that,” Kenny pulls a cigar from the desk, bringing it up to his nose for inspection, “Looks like father had his own little habit.”

Despite yourself, you laugh at his comment, rounding towards the large leather chair he’s settled into.

“Smoking kills you know.” You lean against the desk next to him. Your bare legs brush against his knee, the heat from your skin makes his mouth water.

“I think there’s more pressing concerns than tobacco, kid.”

There’s something different about tonight, even more than just the four walls and roof around you. There’s something about Kenny and the way his stare has followed you all night. You can feel a cord pulling taught, fraying in the middle before it snaps.

“Asshole.”

The plush of Kenny’s bottom lip is close enough to your cunt to be disastrous.  Friendly banter becomes laughing and swatting at his chest like a teenager. Communion wine and tension pulling you into him. The loneliness of this life becomes more apparent the closer he is to touching your skin. When did the man in front of you make your heart race so fast? 

Maybe you’ve always felt this way.

You feel it, the ghosts of last night, the night before. The ghosts of weeks or maybe even months. The familiarity of a touch you weren’t quite awake for. 

Ass arching off from where it sticks to the cherry wood, you want to feel it again. The laving of tongue and mouth against you. The devouring of your most intimate planes of skin, places no one else has ever touched before, places you were saving for your future husband.

The kiss as hot as hell.

“Awe, c’mon now,” His nose nudges against your clit, the movement pulling another cry from your throat to bounce against the high ceiling, “that’s not my name.”

“I’ve been tracing it into this precious cunt of yours every night,” each word is more unhinged than the last, no longer worried about the doe in his sights running away, “Do I need to spell it out for you again?”

There’s nowhere to run, pressed in between his canines.

Dreams of calloused fingers and a wandering mouth are now cementing as memories. The feeling of rough facial hair. The sounds of desperate moans and how they shake against you. 

The way his tongue curls like a signature. 

His mouth is flush against you again, sucking at your aching clit for only a moment before moving his attention to long lashes against your clenching hole.

“You must remember. You were moaning it so sweetly,” he nips at your puffy lips before drawing back. His chin is sheened in your arousal, slick refracting off the dimly lit space between you, flickering candles outline his features with a dance of orange shadows. Kenny’s eyes hold you captive, giving you one more chance to answer.

“What’s my name, kid?”

His tongue breaches you, a set of large, familiar hands keep your legs spread wide atop the desk. 

You remember— of course you do. You remember everything. The name stuck in your head like a broken record. The name you call for in a sleepy haze as your body is dragged into orgasm.

The name that’s spelled against you like a promise.

“K-Kenny please.”

That’s all that he needs, the only thing, if he’s being honest, that he’s ever needed.

“There’s my sweet little girl. Finally using your manners.” Two fingers come up to swipe against your pussy, stopping right before your clit and collecting slick to bring up to your eye line for inspection. You jump when the warm digits drag against your bottom lip, a silent prompt for your mouth to fall open.

Kenny sticks his fingers in, the intent to make you gag is clear but you take it. You’ll take anything he gives you. Your tongue swirls around the intrusion, running against each joint and suckling loudly. The sound is wet and lewd, the spit collecting at the corners of your mouth makes his head spin.

Your destruction, he decides, will be beautiful. 

Kenny’s fingers release with a wet pop. He runs callouses down from your cheek, over the curve of your tits and down your abdomen. Two fingers stop at your pubic bone to trace lightly against the skin in random patterns. 

“Your body is just as agreeable when you’re awake.” His words drip in sin, reminding you exactly how familiar he is with you. All of you.

Both thumbs come down to spread your lips, Kenny can’t help but take a moment-- just a beat-- to stare at your swollen, glossy clit and the quiver of your little hole. Your skin is soft, completely untouched by anyone else. He laid claim to almost every inch before you begged him to.

He sinks from the leather chair, kneeling in front of you. You’re the body and blood as far as a sinner like Kenny is concerned.

There’s a plea stuck in your throat. You want to beg him to slow down, it’s too much all at once, but you know if you cried out-- all you would do is beg him for more.

His tongue is long and flat against you, every swipe is punctuated with a growl. The rumbling from his chest is thrown against your clit like a current through cold water. Sharp, shocking, terrifying.

“Kenny, I- I want,” He sucks your throbbing clit into his mouth, rubbing the tip of his tongue against the hood. There’s no words in any language that make sense to you. There’s nothing but his name. 

“Kenny ah, I need, I don’t know how t—”

Your dangling over a fire, trying desperately to jerk away from the lick of the flames. 

“I know, kid, I know exactly what you need.” his breath is heavy and warm in fans across your skin. You're dripping down the sides of his face and onto the cleric’s desk. Kenny is covered in you, open mouthed kisses against the sweetest thing he’s ever had in his mouth. The tangy taste of your pussy mixing with the wine still on his tongue. 

If he spent forever between your thighs, it wouldn’t be nearly long enough.

“Such a sweet little thing, you’re insatiable.” All you can do is nod dumbly, eyes glazing over with a distinct look of teary submission. It’s so new to you, but grinding upwards and catching your clit against his chin seems like second nature.

The primal need for release is much stronger than any prayer of abstinence. 

“What would your little prayer circle think if they knew you spread your legs for a dirty old fucker like me?” Kenny coos against the apex of your thighs. His words knock on the hollow space behind your breastbone.

Your family and friends, the priest from St. Mary’s who baptized you, old man Jaeger from next door— all buried or burned to ash or so much worse.

Anyone you’ve ever loved is dead, maybe that’s why Kenny is still around.

There’s nothing that can hold you back anymore, the control you claw at slips from your fingers like watery silk. There’s no escaping the roughness of his stubble and an evil, serpent tongue.

“Kenny!”

You cum with a shattering cry, the sound ringing so loud in your ears you swear any enemy of the living in a 10 mile radius could hear you. In reality, what escapes is little more than a broken snivel. 

It hurts, muscles aching from the exertion of trying to keep from falling apart. Your body is a hairpin trigger, the comedown feels more like withdrawal.

“There’s my girl, my good little girl.” His voice is uncharacteristically soft, doting while you fall back to earth. It’s a strange feeling, you’ve never found comfort in Kenny before, he isn’t the shoulder you go to lean on. 

But tonight he’s the chin you buck into.

The aftershocks run across your naked skin, already missing the feeling of his touch as he settles back into the cracked leather chair. 

His cock presses into the denim confines uncomfortably, the ache can wait though. Whether this is his last night alive or has all the time in the world-- he’s going to savor the glistening prize nestled between your thighs. Kenny’s fingers find the cigar where it lies next to your knee, bringing it up to examine while you squirm at the cold night air against your wet cunt.

“No one will ever make you feel as good as I do,” both legs kick out, falling to dangle on either side of his knees in surprise as the cigar comes down to trace your outer lips. He presses the tuck inwards, pulling out slightly so you cry out. The harsh texture of the wrapper mixes with the most minimal of stimulation, causing tears to clump in your waterline. 

“Why don’t you think of a way to repay me, hmm?”

You push past the heaviness in your muscles, sitting up to meet his incredulous stare. Kenny sticks the cigar between his teeth, striking a match from the desk drawer to light the cap. The cigar is stale, cheap tobacco. But every drag now tastes like you.

“I- I could try to--” Words are left unspoken on your tongue, even now, the intonation is poison in your throat. 

You expect Kenny to laugh at your bashfulness, instead, two fingers come up to curl around the Rosary around your neck. He drags you forward, exhaling smoke into your parted, quivering lips. You try your best not to choke. 

He pulls the cigar away, ashing it carelessly on the floor.

“Use your words, kid, tell me what you want.” His words are sleazy but his voice is soft around the edges. Prompting you to shuffle onto his lap. His free hand rests in the small of your back to keep you steady.

“I want--” Fuck, your voice feels like it’ll fail, you take a moment to breathe, “I want you to fuck me, Kenny.” 

Your plea is rushed, so quick to hit his ears he almost misses it. There’s no hiding anymore, there’s nowhere else in this world but the private quarters of a long-dead clergy member. The space between you and Kenny is foggy and tense, only inches between lips.

There’s no more penance in this world, no more time to sit and atone for his sins with prayer. The soft, syrupy feeling of your cunt wrapping around his cock is a slice of heaven, cut out and stolen right from the sky. 

“I thought you’d never ask, doll face.” 

✞ all writing is dymphnasprose’s original content, please do not repost or modify. do no read my content as asmr.©️

[apiratecalledav]

As requested, my Stranger Things season 4 thoughts. Spoilers, obviously.

Overall, I think it’s pretty awesome and the strongest season since the first, but there’s some worrying things plus a bit that I’m really peeved about.

The Good:

I’m digging the longer episodes. I normally hate over an hour (Thank you, ADHD) but I’ve been desperate for content for so long, that it’s just been glorious. The finale is supposed to be over two hours, though. That might be a bit rough.  

I was worried they were going to try to redeem Brenner or retcon that he’s always been disgusting but I think I like the direction it’s going. I do hope they reveal how he survived though.

Every time El called Hopper “my dad” added a year to my life. Millie continues to knock it out of the park.

El, Jonathan, and Will being sibs. My heart is full. I hereby dub the Hopper/Byers clan as The Hyers family.  

Dr. Owens is back! I adore Paul Reiser. I like that he’s a dash more morally gray than most of our protagonists but is ultimately still very decent. The way he tracked down El was straight up epic.  

Argyle is funny as fuck but also a pure soul. I was a little apprehensive about “Jonathan becomes a stoner” but I think they’re pulling it off well. I definitely get why he’s stressed and depressed. Not being able to count on Hopper to step it up while Jonathan went off to school is not something I considered. Also, super different for Charlie acting wise and he’s nailing it.  

I adored Chrissy! I love that she wasn’t some bitchy Barbie but super sweet and just a little bit goofy. The poor angel never had a chance.  

Gah, those absolute badass agents trying to protect El and the Byer Boys. 😭   

Suzie’s family being complete Cheaper by the Dozen chaos was unexpected yet so fitting. Plus comedy gold. “I will repent later.”  

So happy to see Powell and Callahan again.

Steve’s face is still intact. Please keep it that way. That shit is so, so old and tired.  

Everyone screaming “DRIVE” in unison gets me every time. Probably fav running gag.   

The satanic panic stuff is good. I like that Jason has a sympathetic streak and believes his intentions are good. It makes him more interesting and makes it easier to get why others join him.

In general, I liked seeing that the jocks weren’t all just brainless meatheads and/or bullies. Bonus points for them always wearing their monogrammed jackets so I can remember their names! 🤣    

I’ve been waiting a long time for all the parents to get together and realize their kids have been lying their asses off for years. I always imagined Joyce being there and awkwardly trying to explain while not actually explaining. But Erica was a good alternative.

And oh, Erica. Still hilarious, to no one’s surprise. I just love that she’s not the typical “precocious girl” archetype. She likes math, politics/current events, instead of being a bookworm or a techie and confident and outspoken and not a wallflower.

Her shutting down Jason and threatening Lucas with whatever is under his bed slayed me. “The whole couch is on fire” is my new way of saying “that’s bullshit.” 

Joyce and Murray. I’m enjoying their dynamic and their adventure. A good, blend of mystery, suspense, action, and some charming zaniness. Murray as Yuri.  My sides.  

Yes, some of “Hopper the zek” stuff was a bit slow but they payoffs with his first escape and fighting the demogorgon were incredible. Not even getting into to his reunion with Joyce. Just. So. Precious and perfect.

Also, love Tom Wlaschiha since his Jaqen days. How many languages does that dude speak?? I’ll be so sad if he doesn’t get back to his little boy! They already got Alexei! They can’t have Dmitri, too!  

Eddie was kinda cringe at first in the cafeteria scene and seemed like the new Billy but dang, did that turn around. I loved him in the woods with Chrissy and he’s only gotten better. I’m so here for the way he’s just an unapologetic weirdo instead of The Cool Guy or the Bastard.  

Robin in Nancy’s clothes. I feel so seen. My sister would put me through that crap all the time when I was little.

Also thought it was nice that the hospital director admired Robin’s passion.

I’m liking Robin and Nancy being friends. It felt a lil forced at first but their field trip was everything I never knew I needed. Also, it’s nice we’re getting to see different characters interacting more.  

The new cast/cameos/homages are delightful. ‘Specially Freddie Krueger as Victor Creel. Loved the initial Hannibal Lector vibe of the scene.  

I am cautiously putting Mike and El here because they are long overdue to have some issues. But I hope things resolve between them because their relationship is a central part of the series to me.  

Max writing a goodbye note for Steve. I don’t know why but I think that’s so adorable. I guess ‘cause it means he does hang out with the kids (besides Dustin) when the world isn’t in danger and he’s absolutely the big bro she deserves.  

I straight up lost it when Dustin told Steve he was missing his collarbones but not his eyes. 🤣. 

Hopper’s cabin getting a cameo.  

I’ve started  watching a second time (tagging along for my parents first viewing) and the foreshadowing is damn good.  

It is so poignant that Will’s project was on Alan Turing.  A gem of an Easter egg, for sure.    

I thought we’d get a quick visit from Billy/Dacre and it was well done.  I’m glad it wasn’t a flashback because there wouldn’t have been a good way to do it, imo. A happy memory would feel like romanticized bullshit and we didn’t need any more unhappy ones.

I saw some people complaining that Max mourned him at all but he was her brother. And despite being a colossal asshole, he did choose to die as a human being instead of “living” as a monster. There’s nothing wrong or unrealistic about how Max feels right now.

 I cackled like a freaking loon when Lucas said, “when did Steve get so hairy?” Because I said the exact same thing the other day when rewatching season 3. For the first time, I noticed quite a bit of hair trying escape that Scoops Ahoy uniform and was a little shocked. 😂

On a more serious note, I always feel better seeing actors allowed to have body hair. Waxing is, like, borderline inhumane and since I’m not from the Capitol in The Hunger Games, people suffering for others’ entertainment makes me super uncomfortable.  

The symmetry/parallels or whatever with Hopper and Brenner with El. 

The Creel house. The first proper journey to the Upside Down (get them hazmat suits stat!) and their escape. Creepy, trippy, weird, and fascinating.    

Max. Lucas. Need I say more? Prolly not, but I’m gonna: I think they’ve been the MVPs so far this season. Their separate storylines have been amazing but together? My heart!!! They might be promoted to OTP. What I initially liked about these two is they were so normal and lighthearted compared to Mike/El and Jonathan/Nancy. But this storyline has been so incredibly, believably, gorgeously told with stellar performances by Sadie and Caleb. The end of Dear Billy in particular is so, so beautiful. I hoped Running Up that Hill would feature this season and to actually have it be a plot point… 🥹 I listened to my favorite cover by First Aid Kit this morning and had a good cry.   

I want to be pissed about how retcony the other numbers feel— Kali/Eight in season 2 definitely implied Brenner collected the kids from all over the world/they all had very different powers. But it’s done so well, I’m giving it a pass. I kinda dig that El is a middle child. Makes it feel different from “aha, the chosen one at last!” trope.  

Vecna is a refreshing change of pace. I actually wish he was the Mind Flayer’s boss/the ultimate big bad. I think having him once be human makes him scarier and eviler. But I dunno, maybe they ARE all one thing he created? They’re building up to Dustin being wrong about something, I think. Which brings me to—

Holy shit, One. I don’t think I need to say more. I connected certain dots separately but not all of them together, if you get what I mean. Loved it. Plus, Jamie Campbell Bower is always good value.

The Bad

I’m disappointed with El thinking she’s a monster again. I think the bullying resurfacing some repressed memories was pretty good but... the storyline feels… kinda late? Especially since it’s a season long arc. I’d have liked it better if they told her straight off she wasn’t the one behind the attack. It’d be more interesting to me if her journey was about her learning to see past her mistakes and discovering why she’s heroic.  

My boy Doc Owens not warning El that she was about to be reunited with assface.  Dude, come on. Wtf.  Redeemed himself some by chewing him out.

Will’s technically catching a break so far this season, which actually highlights how hellish his life has been. Obviously he wasn’t as close to Hopper as El was, but Hopper was also his (step)dad— Owens even acted like Hopper and Joyce were both Will’s parents in ST2– then he got dragged away from his home/friends; helplessly watched his sister suffer; his brother is becoming unrecognizable; he has a thing for his BFF, which is already complicated and painful enough without the fact that said BFF is also his sister’s boyfriend.😭 But hey, seven episodes in a row without a monster trying to eat him!  

I totally get Robin changing a tad this season from being more comfortable/less guarded because of Steve. But here and there she seemed jarringly different (like how she’s suddenly no longer capable of “playing it cool”) and a few of her comic relief lines fell flat (the compass, earthquakes, attic.).  It’s obvious she’s only here because we like her. Which brings me to…

I am starting to get nervous about how far things are starting to tilt towards fan service. Elements of it have been present since season two but alarm bells are ringing for me. I’d hate for this show to go the Glee route— pandering to (usually toxic) shippers, not wanting to change “the winning formula” which lets characters/situations get stale, etc.  Sigh. At least we’re close to the end.  

I don’t mind Jonathan and Nancy having problems, in fact, I’d probably find it ridiculous if they didn’t. But why THIS way? I loved in season 3 that they had real discussions, even about the ugly stuff. They hashed things out, opened up each other’s minds. I went from “yeah, they’re pretty cute” to “Hell, yeah, I ship it!”

It sucked to see that all go out the window. Obviously, they’re still kids, so I wasn’t expecting anything super mature. But both of them avoiding/ignoring their problems felt lazy.  At the very least, why couldn’t they have been taking a break? Which brings me to—

The Ugly  

Steve and Nance having romantic tension again. Barf. 

 I was somewhat prepared— that weirdly intimate scene in the trailer combined with the complete lack of a potential love interest for Steve among all the new characters. But still. Just… why.

I see some bearable avenues they can take with this but I don’t think it’s necessary and it makes Nancy look awful: Like a serial cheater or that she only wants what she doesn’t have and like still doesn’t grasp how shitty Jonathan’s situation is. She grew up so much, especially last season, and they’re just… pissing all over it??

It’s a little easier to swallow on Steve’s end but I felt like he also really regressed in the early episodes— still so desperate for female attention and just doing the dating equivalent of “throwing it all at the wall and see what sticks.” If they had to have him make heart eyes at Nancy again, then he should’ve still had girls treating him like a townie loser who peaked in high school.

I thought Dustin cheerleading R/S when he barely knew Robin was juvenile writing but at least Dustin was young. Robin practically encouraging Nancy to cheat? Ew. Eddie, who’s probably 20 as a third time senior, declaring what is “true love” between two perfect strangers?

Holy fuck, if it’s not intentionally paralleling Dustin being “ wrong” about Steve and Robin then it is so painfully amateurish that I do not have words. Only Murray can get a pass on that kinda thing because he’s been established as borderline clairvoyant from early on.

Also, a couple of the effects aren’t on par with most of them. One’s transformation and the demobat battle were silly looking. Normally I’m very forgiving of tv show budgets but with how great everything else looked, it was a bit jarring.

TL;DR most of it is awesome, with Max, Lucas, and Lumax being the best. But I fear  they’re relying too heavily on fan service and I’m scared it could be the show’s downfall. Also, my tolerance for bullshit love triangles was obliterated about a decade ago.