#how did my eyes just skip past a whole ass accessory every time I looked at him

[tophats-tea]

drawing fanart every day for Danganronpa: A New Generation until the First Episode comes out

Day 19: Mandela Effect

Check out the fangan!

[aceopmari]

If the Straw Hats Had a Reality Show Dedicated to Pirates Headcanon! Ft: Law!

With how infamous the pirate crew gotten, it was only natural that they were soon granted the rights to have their own reality show, like other famous pirates in the Grand Line and the New World.

Get ready for Keeping Up with the Straw Hats!

Luffy: Whether it was his strength, or his childlike innocence, Luffy was a fan favorite!

He often ignored the producers suggestions to make the show more interesting.

Luffy didn’t like when the producers told him to punch a random person on the street when they were visiting an island.

Was not getting paid, as he owed the producers over 10,000 berris for punching the camera one time in anger, when the director attempted to take his meat away. The director was only making a suggestion for a much healthier diet for the star of the show.

Luffy also skipped out on a lot of confessional sessions. Mainly because he really didn’t have much to hide to begin with. But if he did go, it was mainly to either show appreciation for his crew or to make public declarations:

“Sanji’s cooking the BEST!”

“Do we get free meat with this show?”

“I’m going to kick Mingo’s ass!”

Zoro: The viewers found Zoro amusing! Whether it be him constantly getting lost, or his heated arguments with Sanji. The producers would rush over to him, cameras and all whenever they caught the two together.

Zoro was surprisingly popular with female viewers. They enjoyed watching him sweat whenever he would work out in the crows nest.

Zoro didn’t care about the show really. Just as long as he gets to work out, drink booze, and sleep, he’s good.

The producers always looked forward to his confessionals after he fights with Sanji:

“That damn shitty cook! Just who the hell does he think he is?!”

“That curly brow dumbass is gonna get himself killed one of these days!”

Sanji: Was angry that Zoro was racking in more views from the female viewers than he was!

Why him?! Why not me?!

He kicked the camera man straight in the chin when he told him that Zoro was naturally more popular than he was.

Sanji desperately tried to win over the female viewers by showing off his fighting skills or his culinary expertise.

He was excited when he finally got some fan mail from the fans!

It turned out to be from the okamas though…

If Sanji went to the confessionals, it was usually to cry about why women weren’t interested in him…or to talk shit about Zoro:

“Just what does he have that I don’t on this show?”

“Why aren’t all the beautiful ladies watching me?”

Little did Sanji know, he caught the eyes of Violet and Pudding.

Nami: An absolute slut for the camera! The producers LOVED her!

One couldn’t tell who was using who more. All that mattered was what would bring them more views and more money.

Whenever it was filming time, Nami would purposely wear a bikini without the jeans to draw in the male viewing audience.

Add the extra seductive act she would put on, and nosebleeds would cover millions of transponder snail television screens.

Loved to give tours of the Sunny and show off her designer clothes.

Would parade around the islands, using Momonosuke as an accessory to manipulate the fans into loving her more.

Nami LOVED to take advantage of the fanbase, often subtly asking for gifts mainly money through the fan mail she receives. Next to Robin, she had the most.

Nami became very vain and strict with the crew on how to present themselves for the camera and had to keep members like Luffy in check to make sure he didn’t do anything stupid to cause the show to be cancelled. But just in case, as a backup, she could always start an Only Fans.

One might say that the fame and fortune was getting to her head, as she would purposely start up drama whenever she was out on an island. Would probably steal from a city mayor if it meant she could get the fans taking for weeks.

Whenever she was in the confessionals, it was mainly to complain about Luffy’s or Zoro’s antics.

Would probably shit talk about Robin, although faking it the whole time, to get some drama started:

“Honestly! I wish Luffy would just use some common sense for once!”

“Robin thinks she’s all that! But everyone knows, I’m the prettiest girl on the show!”

“I’ll let you film me in the bath. It’ll cost you 1 million beri!”

Franky: Loved the camera! One sided on the producers part since they didn’t enjoy Franky’s sense of…ahem…style.

He would dance, be loud, or show off his cool body.

If he was in the confessional room, it was to complain openly to the producers on why they did him dirty.

“Hey! I saw last weeks episode! Why did you cut my scene out, bro?!”

Ussop: Although not nearly as popular as Nami, Ussop was interesting enough to get some viewers watching the show, even unintentionally.

Ussop used the show to make himself seem cooler, mainly through the confessionals.

The lies he told caught the attention of viewers worldwide, though very few could sees past his lies.

The producers didn’t care, so long as there were viewers.

“Yes it was I! The Great Captain Ussop who defeated CP9!”

“Wait wait! Cut that out! Cut that scene out! I meant SniperKing!”

Chopper: The Worlds Favorite Cutie Pie!

Choppers looks alone were enough to win the hearts of viewers! Mostly the female reindeer mink.

Combine that with his child like innocence and he’s instantly a popular household name!

On top of that he already has many sponsorships from multiple sweet brands. (Mainly cotton candy ones.)

Choppers pretty shy on camera and often does his usual dance when he’s nervous. The audience eats it up.

He doesn’t gossip. When it comes to confessionals, he’s usually talking about Zoro’s recklessness when it comes to bandages, or Sanji’s nose bleeding habits.

Jimbei: Not particular interested in TV or fame, but used being on TV to his advantage to spread his word and try stop discrimination against fishmen.

The producers found him boring and didn’t look forward to filming him, especially at confessionals…but at the very least, he was able to bring in views due to his former status as a warlord.

Robin: Had many admirers! She enjoyed being on the show. Often is seen on screen on a lavish shopping trip with Nami.

She does her part to make the show more interesting, whether it is be her dark sense of humor or putting her devil fruit powers to good use.

She once used it on a producer when he asked her to do something suggestive for views. After that, the producers never messed with her again, out of fear for their lives.

Not much for confessionals though, except when she’s expressing how amused she is at Luffy’s antics.

She may appeared to be calm and quiet but you better believe that the rumors she would stir up, would get the people talking!

Piers Morgans was having a field day with the headlines:

“Did Cat Burgler Nami Get Breast Implants?!”

“Roronoa Zoro: Honorable Swordsmen or Man Thot?! Gets Caught Sleeping with Wano’s Most Beautiful Woman!”

“Is Monkey D Luffy, Secretly Seeing His Crewmates Sister From the Germa Kingdom?!”

Brook: Fans loved seeing Soul King on screen. In some episodes he’s either playing music or he’s attempting a panty raid in Nani’s room. Which often results in him getting beat up by her every time.

Anything he says in the confessional‘s ends up with his signature laugh.

Law: Made a special guest appearance since starting hiw alliance with Luffy.

You can imagine his look of surprise, when the crew showed up on Punk Hazard with a camera crew and all.

He wasn’t at all interested in being on TV. His famous “I hate bread” made him an instant fan favorite. And meme along the fanbase.

He didn’t like that…

Law hated being followed around by the camera crew on the Thousand Sunny or when he simply just wanted peace. He frequently scolded the producers to stop or told Luffy to call off the cameras, but neither listened.

He only wanted to discuss the alliance plans in private with the crew and didn’t want the producers to catch any of it for the world to see.

As time went on, and Law was getting sucked into the Straw Hat shenanigans. He found himself wandering into the confessional where he would frequently complain about the crew. Mainly the captain.

“Mugiwara-ya will be the death of me…”

“Rorona-ya has no sense of direction…”

“How has the crew survived this long? They don’t ever strategize when it comes to making a plan!”

Viewer Reactions:

Sabo: Enjoys watching his little brother on screen, and always has a good laugh. Koala would often scold him for abandoning his duties to go watch the show.

Hancock: Would briefly abandon her duties as Pirate Empress for the whole day if it meant, she could watch Luffy on screen.

Took up most of his fan mail, and gifts that had meat.

Hancock would be envious of Nami and Robin on her screen, wishing she was their with Luffy.

Mihawk: Reality shows weren’t his usual choice of television entertainment, but he did watch, soley to watch over Zoro’s progress as a swordsmen. He would lie if Perona asked him if he found what he saw the slightest bit amusing.

Ace: He got a kick out watching his little brother on screen. Often laughing at Luffy’s antics. He saw that Luffy’s crew was slowly riding in more views on the reality show The WhiteBeard Pirates had. Ace wasn’t too worried but he knew he had to step it up.

Shanks: Often shaking his head and smiling in amusement at the sight of Luffy on screen. Would sometimes watch the show with Ace as the two spoke fondly of him.

Big Mom: Was furious that Luffy was racking in more views than her crew combined. Everyone used to love Big Mom’s wedding cake special episodes.

“MUGIWARAAAAA!” *Smashes TV*

Garp: Nearly choked on his crackers at the sight of his crazy grandson invading his screen.

“LUFFY NOOOOOO!”

Smoker: If any marine soldier was caught watching, Keeping Up with the Straw Hats, you better believe that he’ll would be raised at HQ. in secret though, he would watch it. Not for entertainment, but more so to study the Straw Hats moves.

Buggy: Screeching out in jealously seeing Straw Hat Luffy was popular enough to be given his own show and not him.

Kid: Was sitting at a bar one night and spat out his drink in anger at the sight of Straw Hat on his screen.

Nearly popped a blood vessel when he saw Law on screen.

“The hell?! Even Trafalgar?! How come those bastards get their own show?!”

Killer remained silent. He knew the reason why the Kid Pirates never picked up the rights to a pirate reality show was because of how scary Kid was.

Dragon: Used the show as a way to keep up with his son. Although in secret, since he didn’t want his army to notice.

Germa 66: Mixed reactions.

“That’s no son of mine.” Judge would say.

Reiju giggled at the sight of the screen. After a mission, she would look forward to watching the show to see her brother.

Ichiji, Niji, and Yonji expressed annoyance and criticized Sanji. Although would never admit that they were each jealous that Sanji got to be on a reality show instead of the Germa Kingdom itself.

Yamato: Wants to be on the show. Not for the fame, but mainly to spread the word and tell the world what a horrible father, Kaido is and spread Oden’s legacy to the world.

[blue-lions-baby]

Blinded by Love (Dimitri x F!Reader) Ch. 1

(a/n) hi i'm like practically dead at this point LMAO i've got like 3 finals this week and i want to cRY

i'm sorry for my absence. i honestly didn't realize how much time has passed until it suddenly hit me that i hadn't visited tumblr in a *hot minute.*

instead of posting this colossal fic as one whole entry, i wanted to split it up into smaller chapters (~1000 words each?) so you can take the story in smaller bites and not have a whole ass meal every time you sit down and read my stuff. plus, this might help with my posting schedule-- i think working on and posting smaller chapters would be a much better method compared to writing one big fic.

doesthatmakesenseiamsotiredpLEASE

anyways, without further ado, please enjoy the first chapter of Blinded by Love! as always, no spoilers :)

also, it’s been a hot minute since i wrote anything remotely creative please bare with me as i get back into it ok that’s it thanks bye

~*~

"Is everyone ready?" Byleth stared deeply into the exuberant eyes of her Lions; their bright, starving hues were hungry, aching for the exhilarating taste of battle. Dimitri, barely managing to contain his excitement, nodded resolutely.

"Yes, Professor."

"Very good," Byleth spread the torn map on a desk and motioned for everyone to gather around, "we are being dispatched to a village not far from the monastery. Some bandits have grown unruly as of late and have begun tormenting the villagers. The Church is sending us to get rid of them."

They pointed to a particular spot on the map and proceeded to explain the roads you all would take to get to the relatively out-of-the-way village. As they were doing that, Byleth quickly and succinctly explained the strategies the Lions would be deploying, as well as last-minute shopping lists.

"Before we leave, we should resupply on vulneraries and whatnot." Byleth gazed around the room; seafoam greens met (E/C) hues. "(F/N), can you and Dimitri take care of this please?"

Snickers bounced around the room as you and Dimitri adopted the same flustered expression. You reached out and silently took the scraggly piece of paper in your hand as you felt the prince's antsy presence accompany you from behind.

"Any questions?" Byleth looked at their bushy-tailed Lions again. "Be smart out there. Safety should come naturally."

Byleth, with a wave of their hand, dismissed their students.

"We'll be leaving in about an hour, so be sure you're fully prepared by then."

"Yes, Professor!" Everyone scurried out of the classroom (not without a few jabs prodded into Dimitri's side and a couple of knowing, teasing glances cast your way). Dimitri, after making sure enough rosiness dissipated from his cheeks, cleared his throat and slowly tapped you on your shoulder. The royal watched as your entire body seemingly glitched into the fifth dimension before turning around to meet his wavering gaze.

"I-- uh," the blonde stiffly cleared his throat, dedicating way too much brainpower to simply hold your gaze. "We should... um... t-the supplies--."

"Y-Yes." You squeaked, crumpling the shopping list closer to your racing heart. You and Dimitri's eyes scurried to the scuff marks on the stone floor, absolutely immobilized. Byleth, with a loud 'ahem,' subdued the sparks fluttering between you and the prince; you both spun around to your instructor and bowed hastily.

"Our deepest apologies, Professor!"

"We'll be heading out now!"

As Byleth watched the backs of their students scurry out of their classroom, they chuckled.

"How cute."

♠ ♥ ♣ ----------------------------------------------------------- ♣ ♥ ♠

"Hm... I think this should be enough vulneraries. What do you think, Your Highness?"

"(F/N), please. I've told you plenty of times to just call me Dimitri." The prince smiled warmly at you before glancing at the somewhat copious amount of vulneraries messily amassed in your arms. "I think this should be enough. It is just a routine bandit culling, after all."

"That's true... And, I feel like I'm being-- I don't know-- disrespectful? If I call you by your name. I feel it's only proper for me to address you by your title." You countered as Dimitri took a majority of the vulneraries in his strong arms.

"Nonsense. I want you to address me by my name," he coughed and looked away, "o-only if you are comfortable though. If you truly desire to address me by my title only, then that is fine as well."

"Oh, no! I just-- I thought-- are you... really sure it's okay for me to call you by your name?"

"Of course!"

"O-Okay... Dimitri." You smiled, color dabbling your cheeks. Dimitri almost dropped all the vulneraries watching your delicate fingers tuck a stray lock of hair behind your ear. "I have to admit, it feels kind of... strange saying your name."

"...oh." Dimitri's lips, still cast upward, did not match the downtrodden expression the rest of his features bore. Realizing your egregious choice of words, you let out a cry of surprise.

"I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean it like that!" You bowed. "It felt strange because I wasn't used to it! But... I like it. I like saying your name, Dimitri."

The extinguished look in his eyes instantly flared up with life and excitement.

"R-Really?!"

A lighthearted laugh escaped you; Dimitri's grin grew wider at the natural melody in your voice.

"Yes! Dimitriii.~ Dimitriii.~"

The prince's sides had begun to ache from all the laughing; he buried his burning face in the pile of vulneraries.

"I love hearing you say my name..." He muttered, his voice muffled by the sacks of medicinal herbs.

"Sorry, what was that?"

"N-Nothing important. Let's head back, shall we?"

"Mmkay!" As you cheerily skipped through the marketplace with the prince at your side, a glimmer from one of the stalls caught your eye. Your feet froze mid-air and your boots made a loud clonk as you fell back down to earth. Dimitri, surprised at the sudden shift in mood, looked up at you worriedly.

"(F/N)? Is everything all right?"

When he looked over, you and all the vulneraries you were carrying had essentially disappeared from existence. Dimitri, his heart throbbing a quickening pulse in his temples, spun to and fro in the middle of the street, growing more and more panicked at your continued absence.

"Excuse me, how much is this?"

Dimitri's head had never whipped around so fast.

"Ah, you got a good eye, lass! Bought this from a fella off the coasts of Brigid. 'Posed to bring you good luck, he said." The merchant's gnarly voice had a distinct ring that overpowered the rest of the bustling marketplace.

"It's so pretty..." Breathed a response.

After a crowd of people on his right dissolved, Dimitri found your vulnerary-laden form stooped over a table flooded with jewelry and glittery accessories. He breathed out, thanking the Goddess as he felt years subtracted from his life slowly be added back on. He hurriedly made his way to your side and glanced around the vast treasures laid out for sale. The merchant threw his head back and roared in glee.

"Indeed, indeed! One of my best finds, I tell ya. A true beauty."

Your (E/C) eyes shimmered brighter than any jewel Dimitri had ever seen as they excitedly landed on his placid blues.

"Dimitri, look! Isn't it gorgeous?"

"Er... Which one? They're all quite lovely." Dimitri politely smiled and nodded his head at the merchant, who puffed his chest out with pride.

"That one!" You motioned with your chin, pointing your lips at a particular brooch. Upon closer inspection, the mound of metal quickly took on the shape of a lion. The simple sheen of silver contrasted nicely with the array of crystalline colors surrounding it. The artisan's mastery over fine metalwork translated beautifully into the gorgeous detailing in the mane and face of the feline; a permanent roar was etched onto the refined ore, its eyes ablaze with ferocity and vivacity. It stood majestically on its hind legs, seemingly ready to jump into the fray of a battle that will never come. A jewel the shade of bright blue skies was incrested in its paws; the radiant glitter of the gem sailed across its surface like clouds on a cool spring day.

"It... is quite breathtaking." Hummed the prince. "How much is it?"

"10,000 Gold!" The merchant smiled widely, more holes than teeth in his mouth.

"T-Ten--?!" You stumbled backward, the spell that the brooch had put you under snapping like a strained thread.

"Yup yup! But for a fine lass like ya, I'll cut it down to... hm... Let's say 7,500. Deal?"

"That's... still a lot..." You looked despondently at the brooch, the luminous blue darkening as a storm approached. The merchant frowned.

"Sorry, lass. Can't go lower than that. I'd be sellin' at a loss past that price."

"T-That's okay... Um, I think I'll stop by another time. Let's go, Dimitri..."

Without waiting for a response, you turned on your heels and sulked away, your shoulders hunched forward and your head hung low. Dimitri's heart splintered into pieces as he watched your form slowly homogenize with the crowd. With a small nod (and a few moments reserved for the neat pile of vulneraries he built at his feet), Dimitri whipped out a pouch that clanged a tune that would make any merchant's heart sing.

"Can I still make good on that previous offer?"

[svnflowervol666]

Uncertainty (Frat boy!Harry Styles x fem!Reader)

Word Count: 3.2k

Warnings: Frat boy!Harry, use of alcohol, mentions of sexual assault, Harry being a sweet angel because I can’t picture him being anything else.

Author’s Note: Another request that waranted its own post! I wrote this one with a bit of a possibilty for continuation (if anyone is interested??) Anyways, thank you the anon for the request! Frat boy!Harry makes my heart scream. Let me know what else you’d like for me to crank out for you lovelies! Take care and tpwk.

Of all places Harry had expected to bump into her outside of class, his frat house on a Friday night was definitely at the bottom of the list. One minute, he was taking shots of tequila with his bed buds in the dining room and the next, he found his whole world coming to a halt when he saw her work her way through the sweaty, intoxicated crowd and move towards the kitchen for a drink. He swore the music stopped and everything around him had ceased to exist in the moment he saw her throw her head back in laughter at something her friend said, exposing her neck and chest to the open air.

“Who’s she?” one of his fraternity brothers asked with a nudge to Harry’s shoulder, clearly aware that Harry had temporarily abandoned the conversation he was having to gawk at the party’s newest arrival.

Harry snapped out of his daze in which he was staring at her bare legs that shimmered in the dim light of the frat house due to her lotion and a thin veil of sweat to see his brother staring at him as if he was the dumbest man alive.

“Hmm? Oh, her?” Harry pointed towards the girl in question with the neck of the beer bottle he had been nursing on all night.

“I sit by her in calculus... Just didn’t think I’d ever see her ‘round here is all.”

The boy standing beside Harry nodded hesitantly, though he was far too intoxicated to press him any further. Harry would never admit it to anyone as long as he lived, but he had quite the soft spot for this girl. He had no explanation for the way he felt inside when she smiled at him every time she took her seat before class. He had no explanation for how bummed he was when she’d skip a day, or how relieved he was when she’d burst into the room late with a large iced coffee in her hands. He used any and every excuse he could to get her to talk to him, to say anything to him in that voice of hers that he found to be sickly sweet.

But she didn’t run with the people that he ran with. She didn’t spend every weekend blackout drunk and wake up in a stranger’s bed that she knew she’d never see again. She was shy and quiet for the most part and was very much the polar opposite of everyone Harry went for both in terms of friendships and in one night stands. Which was exactly why Harry could never figure out what it was that he wanted from her. Did he want to shag her a few times and then pretend as if she never existed? Did he just want to be her friend that he could lay around with and watch stupid romantic comedies on Netflix with? Did he want to, dare he say it, date her? Take her out for nice dinners and fall asleep holding her in his arms? He didn’t know the answer to any of those questions. She was simply different than all of the people Harry had associated himself with in college. And Harry, as scared as he was to say or even think it, liked that.

One might think that now would be the perfect opportunity for Harry to get to know this girl that he had been tied up over for the past several months given that she was attending a party at his own frat house, but he couldn’t bring himself to approach her. Instead, he drowned his feelings in shots of bitter liquor and half-assed games of beer pong. He figured that whatever had enticed her to come to this party certainly didn’t involve him, and it was best that he kept his distance. She’d passed by him a few times to refill the red, plastic cup she clutched like an accessory, but she never once looked his way.

Several hours had passed since her arrival and Harry, being the heavy partier that he was, had almost completely forgotten about her. The bass-heavy music pumped through his veins along with the icy burn of whatever he was drinking at the moment, and he was too preoccupied with the tiny blonde grinding her backside against his front to remember that she was even present at this party. He had forgotten she existed. That was until he broke away from the buzzing bodies and lager-soaked living room floor to use the restroom.

The downstairs powder room was always taken, so he opted for the one upstairs where all of the bedrooms were. When he pushed open the door, he was greeted by quite the debacle. His blood ran cold and every bit of alochol that worked to keep him at a happy buzz had left his system. The girl from his math class was there, and she was perched on the lip of the bathtub with her arms crossed. She was there, in his bathroom, but she was not alone.

“C’mon, sexy,” the inebriated, smelly man beside her pleaded, “Just come back to my room for a bit. Promise I’ll make you feel good.”

“I don’t want toooooo,” she slurred her words and pouted as if she were a temperamental toddler.

Had Harry not immediately recognized what was going on, he would have thought it was quite adorable.

“Yes, you do, baby. C’mon, it’s just right around the corner,” Harry’s fellow fraternity brother nagged.

He tried to pull her up by her limp arm, but she was dead weight against the porcelain tub, clearly too drunk to be going back to anyone’s bedroom with anyone and certainly not with a man Harry knew for a fact that she had never seen before in her life. The sight of what was going on made Harry sick to his stomach and the hairs on his neck stand up. He knew he had to intervene before this man could take her any further.

“Hey, man,” Harry commanded the attention of his disgusting, vile frat brother that he wanted nothing more than to punch square in between his eyes, “Ye’ ex was lookin’ for ye’ in the backyard. Seemed pretty pissed.”

Harry didn’t even know who his ex was, nor did he know whether or not she was even at the party, but he prayed that his lie was enough to make him leave before Harry had to handle him more aggressively.

“Fuck,” the man hissed to himself before making a beeline out of the cramped bathroom and towards the stairs as if he wasn’t just attempting to drag an almost lifeless girl back to his room.

“Hey,” Harry’s tone was much softer when he bent down to her level and spoke to the girl from his math class, “You alright?”

“No,” she grumbled, “I really want some chips.”

This made Harry scoff and the tiniest of smiles creep onto his lips. At least she was so far gone that the events that unfolded in the bathroom just now had failed to resonate with her.

“Waaaaait a minute,” she paused, “I know you. You’re Henry,” she jabbed her finger against Harry’s chest.

“I know you, too, Y/N,” Harry played along, ignoring the fact that he called her Henry as he inspected her body for her purse, which was, thankfully, still wrapped around her torso.

He dug around the small, black bag for her cell phone, which he, unfortunately, found out had no battery left.

“Do ye’ know where your friend is?” he enunciated slowly and assertively to her a bit like one would if they were talking to a baby.

The girl with smudged mascara under her eyes shrugged her shoulders and sighed.

“I saw her taking shots with some guy named Michael...or was it Matthew... and then I think she went off with some guy from her econ class. Or maybe it was the girl from her Women’s Studies class. I don’t really know,” the girl whined as if thinking too hard about where her friend had gone was giving her a headache.

“Was someone supposed to come get ye’?” Harry pressed her further.

“She was supposed to drive!” Y/N exclaimed, realizing now the predicament she was in.

Harry couldn’t believe how shitty of a friend this girl had. Not only had she disregarded her role as the designated driver, but she’d left her completely alone and drunk off her ass to fend for herself. The thought of what would have happened to her had Harry not miraculously stumbled into the bathroom made his skin crawl.

“Okay then,” he stood up from where he was squatted and outstretched his arms towards her, “Up. Let’s go. I’ll take ye’ home. Ye’ don’t need t’ be here anymore.”

“I don’t wanna go hooooooome. I wanna stay hereeee” the intoxicated girl shook her legs against the tub.

Any other girl and Harry would have just left her be, but he felt something inside of him that compelled him to take care of this girl and see to it himself that she made it home safe and unharmed. He couldn’t bear to think of waking up the next morning and having to listen to one of his fraternity brother’s brag about how good of a shag she was or about how embarrassing it was for her to be that drunk at a party.

“What if I take ye’ t’ get chips on the way?”

//

After about 20 minutes of trying to pressing Y/N to get her to tell him where she lived, Harry was finally able to find her apartment building. He took her through a drive-thru in the sketchy part of town because it was the last place open and he had promised the girl some chips and he was a man of his word. He was reluctant on doing so, seeing as he didn’t want to make this situation any weirder than it already was (him driving home the girl he sat beside in Calculus and only talked to for the duration of the 3 hours per week that they were in class who just so happened to be drunk out of her mind), but his hesitancy quickly left his system when her eyes lit up upon taking a greasy, brown bag filled with the salty snack from his hands.

“You’re my hero, Harry,” Y/N fake-cried (or maybe she was actually crying, Harry wasn’t sure at this point nor would he have been surprised).

“Look at us. Math buddies. Hangin’ out together. Who woulda thought,” she giggled as she stuffed a crispy potato past her lips that were covered in her smudged lipstick. 

Harry chuckled to himself, unsure of what to say to Y/N. He opted to continue driving her home in silence while she munched on her late night snack and sipped on her small cup of water that he insisted she drink all of. She didn’t say anything else either, to which Harry was thankful for.

It took Y/N a bit longer than usual to clank her fingers around her bag to retrieve her keyring, and even longer to figure out which key was the key that would let her into her locked apartment. Harry had done far more than anyone would have, but he still couldn’t shake the feeling like he couldn’t leave her side until she was sleeping peacefully in her bed.

He walked her through her apartment and to her bedroom with one hand hovering over the small of her back in case she lost her balance. Harry wasn’t sure what he’d ever pictured her room to look like, but it suited her, he thought to himself. He noticed some vinyl records in the corner of some of his favorite artists, ones that his friends always made fun of him for listening to. It was a bit messy; there were a few piles of clothes discarded on her floor, but having grown up with his mum and sister his whole life, it led him to believe she had probably been frantic trying to find something to wear to the party at his frat house and just neglected to pick up her mess before she left.

“Ye’ want to take ye’ dress off or somethin’?” Harry asked her.

“Harry, I am NOT having sex with you,” Y/N mumbled as she plopped down onto her fluffy bed.

“‘s not wha’ I meant. Where are do you keep ye’ pajamas? That dress is gonna leave ya sore in the mornin’ if ye’ sleep in it.”

Seeming content with his answer, she tilted her head in the direction of her dresser.

“Middle drawer.”

Harry left her side for a split second while he rifled through her clothes and returned with an oversized university t-shirt that Harry also owned himself. He unfolded it and laid it in her lap.

“NO peeking,” the girl insisted, to which Harry held his hands up in surrender and turned his back to face the corner of her room.

He could hear her struggling to get out of her clothes, but he didn’t dare spin back around in the chance that he saw her undressing and it caused any more strain in their already confusing arrangement. His mind was already flooded with how awkard it would be in the morning when she woke up and realized he had been inside of her home. How she would react when she saw him in class on Monday and whether or not she would yell at him for crossing the line. Really, all he wanted was to make sure she was alright.

Harry was pulled from his thoughts when Y/N called his name in that voice that he adored so much.

“I’m stuck.”

“Can I turn around and help ye’?” Harry treaded lightly.

“Pleaaaaase,” she slurred.

Harry was greeted by the sight of Y/N tangled up in the straps of her dress, not even having been able to pull it over her body. He couldn’t even count the number of times he’d undressed women in the past and how it came as second nature to him when fooling around, but this time, he was beyond nervous. His fingers hesitated to even graze over her bare skin, to untangle her arms from the complicated fabric that trapped her. She was wearing a mismatched bra and underwear, which seemed very much like Y/N’s personality, he thought to himself. Of course, he wasn’t going to deny that she looked incredible underneath her clothes and he wished he was seeing her like this under different circumstances, but that wasn’t what mattered now.

Trying his hardest not to stare, he quickly guided Y/N’s head through the hole of the t-shirt and helped her put her arms through to avoid her getting stuck in her own clothes again. The material fell down below her thighs, so that only the very bottom of her bum was visible to him. God, she looked beautiful.

“Harry,” she whispered to him, as if she were afraid someone would overhear.

“Yes?”

“Why are you being so nice to me? Is it because I help you in Calculus all of the time?”

“I’m actually not tha’ bad at Calculus, Y/N,” Harry snickered to himself as he searched around her bed for her cell phone charger, “’M quite good at it, really.”

“Then why do you always ask me about the homework every time I come in?” she pushed as she watched him pull her phone out of her bag once more and plug it up to the power source.

“Don’t know,” Harry shrugged, “Just like talking to ye’ I guess.”

“Okayyyyyyyyyyyy. If it’s not that, then why are you here? We’re not friends.”

She was still far too intoxicated to comprehend exactly what was going on right now, but the fact that she was starting to sober up and form cohesive sentences was making Harry antsy. 

He figured he had overstayed his welcome and that it was time to bug off before she started to ask anymore questions. That, and he wasn’t sure he was able to answer any more of her questions.

“Just didn’t feel like waking up t’ ye’ passed out in my bathroom floor is all. I’m gonna go now, do ye’ want me to get ye’ anything?” Harry lied as he swiped his thumbs under her eyelashes to wipe away the black smudges under her eyes the best that he could.

“Nope,” she responded with a pop of her lips before crawling back into the comfort of her bed.

She seemed to fall asleep almost immediately, to which Harry took that as his cue to leave. He backed out quietly, shutting the door behind him and tip-toeing down her hallway. He knew it was weird to rummage through her kitchen, but he felt compelled to make sure she would be taken care of when she woke in the morning. 

Harry discarded the wrapper from their little chip excersion into her bin, and filled up a glass of water and placed it on her counter. On his first try, he’d managed to find her medicine cabinet and sat a bottle of pain reliever beside the cup, knowing good and well that she’d need a handful of the small pills when she got up. 

He decided to check on her one last time before he buggered off for real this time, wanting to double check that she hadn’t choked on her own vomit and died whilst he was in her kitchen snooping about. She probably fine and dead to the world by now, but he wanted one last look at her before he went.

As he’d expected, she was perfectly fine. Her hair was tangled all around her head in a messy nest and small, adorable little snores left her parted lips as she slept. He could just barely make out her underwear-clad bum sticking out from the blanket, in which Harry found to be heart-warming for some reason. The girl that had taunted his brain for months and was seemingly untouchable to him looked so incredibly human at this moment.

Running a ringed hand through his now greasy, chocolate curls, he felt his mission was complete and left her alone to sleep and locked her door on his way out. It made Harry’s heart twinge knowing he’d most likely never see her like this again.

When Y/N woke the next day (very well into the afternoon, might she add), she felt strange. She was struggling to remember exactly what happened to her last night having just woken up, but what she did know that she had a headache from hell. 

As she drug herself out of bed to do the only thing she knew for certain would cure her hangover which was cook a large breakfast for only herself, she noticed a glass of water and pain medicine sitting on her counter by her coffee pot. The events of last night were murky, and she barely remembered what happened after her fourth drink, but she was almost positive she now recalled someone else being in her apartment with her.

She was uncertain, but had an inkling that, for some reason, it was the boy she sat beside in Calculus.

[my-fanfic-library]

Something Different {BBC Dracula x Reader} [22]

Masterlist

~^*^~

“Drac!”

The gasp of his name filled the hallway, right after the sound of his hand slapping your ass. He chuckled, your pout only managing to be adorable to him.

“I couldn’t help it. My god, I never want to see you wear anything except leggings again.” He breathed.

“Typical male.” You rolled your eyes, hitching the strap of your gym bag higher up your shoulder.

You stalked towards the elevator, ignoring the hot gaze the vampire was currently giving you. Maybe inviting him to the gym was a very bad idea. Especially in the outfit he had decided to sport to “fit in”. A muted grey/green t-shirt, a little baggy, a little low cut on the neckline, exposing just a tease of his collarbones. The black joggers were an anomaly to his usual wardrobe choices.

“Instead of going to the gym, I propose we stay here and improvise.” You finally turned your head to send him a venomous look.

“You literally took months of reluctance to even fucking finger me and now you won’t even let me go to the gym because my leggings rile you up?” You feigned an angry tone, “stay here if that’s how you’re going to be.” You pressed the button, waiting for the elevator.

“I already told you, I can’t do what I want to you. Did our little session the other day ease any of your tension?”

You rolled your eyes, face flushing as you thought back to a few days ago. The doors opened and you strolled in, the tall vampire hot on your heels. You turned to face the doors, only to almost knock into his chest. His arms immediately wrapped around your waist and pulled you up to your tippy toes. You glared up at him as the door snapped shut.

“You didn’t answer my question.” His voice was a little gravelly, the sound of it making your heart skip a beat.

“I rolled my eyes. That’s an answer in my books.”

“Clearly I’m going to have to do something more... strenuous next time.” His lips came down on to your jawline, pressing tender kisses to your skin. You hummed.

Then, his fingers slipped a little lower, eventually making their way to your ass. He squeezed, making sure to get as much into his hands as he could.

“Stop!” You laughed, twisting away from him. His grip tightened.

“Why?” He whispered against your skin, “we are the only occupiers of the elevator, right now. Would it be so terrible?”

“Yes, seriously I’m about to go back upstairs and change.”

“Don’t,” he growled, squeezing harshly, causing your to gasp, your hands moved to snake around his neck, “even think about it.”

“I have no idea what’s made you so possessive all of a sudden, but you pack it in now, mister.” You playfully commanded.

Dracula’s lips continued on your neck, and he clearly had no intention of stopping even after the elevator had reached the bottom of the building and the doors opened.

~^*^~

The gym was an... experience. Upon leaving, you vowed to never let Dracula tag along again. No less than four times did he get into altercations with other men who had been ogling you (three out of the four being during your squat session), and he was adamant on just watching you which was off putting. When you had invited him along, you had hoped that he would actually partake in exercise.

Apparently you were too distracting.

Said the man who had sat on the bench press, practically drooling whilst you did your warming up lunges and stretches.

Yeah, he wasn’t allowed to go anywhere near the gym again if that was where you intended to go.

When you returned back to the apartment, you noticed a missed call on your phone. Your mother. Whilst you had been in contact with her, it was time for her annual summer party, in which all of her friends, and their friends, and her colleagues and their friends crowded your home for hours on end. It was so exhausting to have to socialise with so many people that you didn’t know or care about.

As you called her back, you regretted it almost instantly.

“[First]! Finally, I’ve been trying to get ahold of you!”

“Yeah, sorry, I was at the gym.”

“Look, you know that my party is next week, right? You’re going to come, aren’t you?”

“Erm, I don’t actually know...”

“Oh come on, [First], I haven’t seen you in so long! You have to come!”

“Well, I mean, I’ve not been in London long and-“

“Yes, apparently you’ve shacked up with some man!”

“Mother!” You shrieked. Clearly Dracula had heard, since he turned around to send you the most devilish grin. You batted him away, “that’s not true!”

“Well, Martha rang me up and told me she saw you out shopping with some man your father’s age! And then Daphne FaceTimed me and told me she’d seen you in a car on two occasions with the same man!”

“Oh my god!” You groaned, “stop listening to gossip about your own daughter from the fishwives!” You scolded.

“I’ll keep going if you don’t agree to come.” You could hear her playful smile.

“Alright! Fine, I’ll come.”

“And bring your mystery man - apparently he’s quite a looker-“ you hung up, not wanting to think about your own mother drooling over your boyfriend.

“Who was that lovely woman?” Dracula was very clearly trying to wind you up.

“Oh shut it.” You snapped, “you’re just smug because they think you’re attractive.”

“Well, I am.” He stated matter-of-factly.

“Oh!” You groaned, stomping away to get dressed.

The week dragged. Your mother was constantly ringing to harass you over the party. ‘Black tie but casual, [First]!’ ‘Don’t forget that Brenda’s son Mark is coming, I believe you’d suit each other quite nicely!’ ‘Have you decided what you’re going to wear?’ ‘Your entrance fee can be a platter of those nice little sandwiches you make!’

It was dizzying and to add insult to injury, your mother’s constant inquires on your “mystery man” was blowing up his ego quicker than you could say ‘bloodsucker’. Oh, if you had a stake you’d strike it right through his heart if it meant one moment of peace. You eventually told him about your mother’s plan to hook you up with this Mark (which had been ongoing since you were 16 and he was 18) which switched his mood a whole 180° extremely quickly. Now you had an impatient mother and a grumpy vampire.

Was god punishing you for your fornications with the man currently lying next to you, facing towards the wall instead of you?

Technically you hadn’t even had sex, so technically there was nothing to punish.

Or was it just because he was a vampire?

You scoffed in amusement at your thoughts.

“Thinking about Mark are you?” Dracula grumbled.

“Oh yes.” You jeered, “tall, handsome Mark and how I think I may have to take up my mother’s offer and see him to dinner. I wonder how far he’d go on the first date... it’s been a long time since I’ve had sex-“

Within a matter of seconds, you were pinned under the vampire, his dark pools swimming with all sorts of angst. His lips curled down into a scowl. You felt like you deserved a punch to the face. How you managed to dig yourself an even deeper hole was beyond you.

Well, Dracula found use for the belt that had been on the bedside table and you had learnt your second lesson on purposefully making him jealous. You were sure you were growing addicted to his fingers.

~^*^~

You swallowed, looking over yourself one last time in the mirror before you stepped out of the room. The black satin cami dress was formal, right? It came down to your knees, with a little bit of a peplum hem at the bottom. It was a little revealing, mostly on your chest, but you had accessoried to keep the attention on the gorgeous Whitby Jet wrapped around your neck concealing your bite. Yes, you looked fine.

Nerves would always eat you up before you attended these stupid parties.

Stepping out into the main room, you held your breath. Holy fuck. Dracula was leaning against the table, clearly bored of waiting for you. His hair was tousled back, a few strands falling forwards towards his forehead. A black shirt sat undone on the upper half of his chest, and over the top a black suit jacket rolled up past the elbows. You oggled his forearms and the image of the way they flexed as he pumped his fingers into you flashed through your head. Your eyes moved down to his legs, form fitting suit pants showcasing his thighs and you almost drooled. Running a hand through your hair, you coughed, grabbing his attention.

The moment his eyes fell on you, your heart quite literally stopped. His eyes... oh dear god. It was the way you’d begged god to make someone look at you. Just once. So much love, a sparkle of utter awe of you, glistening the truth of his affection. His lips quirked up into a smile. His eyes racked over your body, loving the way your dress fit you perfectly, hinting at your body but leaving the majority of it to the imagination. It was long enough to not be dignity-diminishing, but short enough to give attention to your legs.

“If I hadn’t made a promise to give you the best life, I would take you right here on this table,” he patted the marble, “and drink every ounce of nectar within your veins.”

“Keep talking like that and I will make you do it.” You smirked.

“I promised you I’d help you live,” he prowled towards you, unable to wait another moment to pull you into him, “and I believe you see our union differently to how I do.” He fornwed just a little and you pulled yourself into him, drowning him in your perfume and warmth.

“It’s just sex.” You retorted, looking up at him.

“Not with you it wouldn’t be.” He whispered, “and whatever coward made you think that it’s “just sex” would be advised to never come a step near to me.”

“Why, would you teach him your ideas on union?” You chuckled, your slightly dirty joke apparently going over his head.

“I’d fucking kill him for taking your body so intimately and convincing you that it meant nothing.”

You chuckled, pressing a sweet kiss to his neck. He hummed, feeling the soft fabric of your dress beneath his fingertips. He was so thankful that you had chosen him. Lucky was the understatement of the century.

~^*^~

Your mother continued to look out of the window every minute or so, anticipating your arrival. After most adamantly demanding that you bring the gentleman you had been living with, she was at a peaked curiosity. Was he truly so much older than you? And was he as handsome as her friends made out?

He turned out to be definitely rich, pulling up in a sparkling Jaguar. She almost squealed in anticipation - much like a teenager - and the tray of appetisers she had been holding flew up into the air.

Your father grumbled at the commotion and apologised to the men he had been speaking to. He explained that your mother was on edge, awaiting to see what her daughter was about to drag into the house.

The aura that swept the house when you and Dracula entered seemed to affect every guest present, and all eyes were suddenly on you.

“[First]!” She greeted lovingly, pretending she hadn’t been waiting for the last 45 minutes by th window.

“Hi mother,” you greeted, letting her pull you into a brief hug. Her eyes wandered past you and to the tall gentleman standing just at the step of the door, smiling sheepishly, “it’s alright, love. You can come in.”

Your wicked eyes sent him a mischevuous look. He frowned, knowing that you were internally laughing at him still not entering without an invitation. Would your parents mind so much if he spanked you in front of them?

“And, my, who is this... gentleman?” She breathed, clearly impressed by his face, but unimpressed at his presence with you.

“This is-“

“Count Dracula.” He cut your off, “it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mrs. [Last].” He smiled at her, taking her hand and briefly kissing her knuckles, “[First] has told me so much about what an amazing woman you are.” She couldn’t help but laugh airily at the compliment.

“Well, I’ve done my best for my daughter. Come on through, both of you. [First], your father is just by the kitchen.”

She rushed past you, pushing past people as quickly as she could to make her way back to the kitchen. That gossip! Your eyes filtered through the people until you found your father talking to a few people. Intertwining your fingers with Dracula’s, you began to pull him into the living room when you were stopped by a man you didn’t recognise.

“What an honour it is, Count Dracula! My name is Richard Johnson, I own Johnson and Moore, a law company under your own. I was wondering when I’d finally meet the famous Dracula.” You turned to look at Dracula, who was smiling a little shyly.

“Yes, it is a pleasure to meet you as well, however as you can see I’m with-“

“No, it’s okay!” You quickly interjected, “I better go say hello to my dad before he feels rejected. I’ll let you two businessmen talk.” You winked at the vampire before scampering off towards your father.

“What a beautiful little thing she is!” Richard eyed you as you left, “you’ve got to tell me how you got such a young one.” He laughed.

“Well, I could tell you,” Dracula began with a fake smile, “but I’d have to kill you afterwards.”

Neither of them realised that you had heard and you grinned at Dracula’s words.

Your arms snaked around your father’s waist as you rested your head on his shoulder. He continued his sentence to the two men he was engaged in conversation with. When he had finished, he took a sip from his drink and then manuvered his head to press a kiss to your forehead.

“Here she is, my little detective!” He laughed, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, “you wouldn’t believe this kid used to poop in our garden drain, would you?”

“Do you have to say that to everyone you introduce me to?” You rolled your eyes, but you were grinning.

“Baby, I’m going to bring it up at your wedding and tell all of my grandbabies.” The two men standing opposite from you laughed at his words.

“I’ve read some of your journals, [First], you’ve grown into a very intelligent and respectable young woman.” You pulled yourself from your father as he spoke to you, smiling shyly.

“Thank you, I’ve worked hard to be where I am today.”

“Yes, didn’t you spent quite some time in Yorkshire?” The other man began, “your father was telling us you were part of some coverup story within the Jonathan Harker Foundation.”

“Well, that’s simply not true. And even if it were, I couldn’t tell you, Pauly.” You grinned, clearly teasing him.

“Awe, come on, [First]! Don’t you remember when I used to dress up as Santa and bring you all those wonderful presents?”

“Well, I suppose I could tell you,” you began, “but I’d have to kill you afterwards.”

Your eyes moved across the other side of the room and locked with your favourite pair in the entire world. He was smirking right back at you. ‘Touche’ he mouthed at you. His eyes sparkled as they continuously washed over you. Wait... was he really eye fucking you in a room full of people?! Your father’s conversation ended quickly after that and he was quick to pull you into the corner to have a private word with you.

“You, young lady, are driving your mother up the wall with the gentleman you’ve been seeing, you know that don’t you?” He was unable to hold back his amusement.

“Of course I know that.” You laughed.

“Then go and talk to her!” He laughed. Clearly he was already growing drunk.

“Alrighty. Don’t drink too much, okay?” You patted his arm, side stepping to get ready to make your way to the kitchen.

“I can’t promise you anything, buttonnose.” He pressed a kiss to your cheek and sent you on your way to the kitchen.

Before you even made your way in, you could hear all of the wives whispering and giggling. Did they seriously not realise that they were not still school girls? You rolled your eyes and made your way in.

Your mother jumped at your intrusion and you were soon bombarded in compliments on how pretty you’d gotten, how tall you’d grown, congratulations on your work, and question upon question about Dracula and intimate details of your plans. Mostly marriage and children.

Two hours later and you found yourself by your mother’s side. Dracula had blended in well, making conversation with almost everyone that approached him. You had barely seen him, but your mother had been talking quite a bit to him. Standing washing your hands after eating a few greasy little bites, she came to your aide.

You were dreading whatever she had to say and prayed that this would be a short and sweet conversation. She was obsessed with you getting into a relationship and you had finally found someone that made you happy and she wasn’t satisfied.

“[First],” she began warily, “Dracula seems... nice...”

“He is.” You answered stoically.

“When did you meet him?”

“When I was working in Whitby last year.” You grasped a tea towel, beginning to dry your hands.

“Is he a detective like you?”

“First of all, I am not a detective - I’m a Supervisory Special Agent specialising in criminology. Secondly, he is not a detective and you would know from all of your eavesdropping that he is a businessman.”

“Don’t accuse your own mother of eavesdropping!” She scolded.

“Weren’t you?” You challenged.

“I just... I just think you’ve made a mistake, [First]. He’s your father’s age for crying out loud!” She hissed, clearly not wanting the other wives to hear such an embarrassing conversation.

Silly woman. He’s ten times your father’s age.

You scoffed at her words.

“What, so because he’s a little older than me I can’t be with him?”

“No, I’m not saying that I’m just-... is he your sugar daddy?!” She suddenly gasped.

“No mother!” You exclaimed.

“I had to ask, sorry.”

“What, did Brenda tell you that? Or maybe Daphne? When will you all grow up and stop gossiping over your own children?!” She went quiet.

“...Will you at least consider Mark...?”

You groaned, having to throw the tea towel down and leave the room. Your face was flushed with anger and when you looked back up, your jaw hit the ground.

“Jack?”

~^taglist^~

@vampiregirl1797 @avalanet @bunnyreese12 @nerdonpluto @teamceleries @grifffins @hitbythunder @winterseoul @mymagicsuitcase @angeli-fucking-cat @benedictethegoddess @bloodhon3yx @nifflersravenclaw @writteninthestars288 @labelladrama @frankcastlesgrunts @angelicdestieldemon @quakerlasss @aliisa-jones @wolverinexmenn @clairedragonessbaker @cryiner @mitsukatsu @piratewhore @your-pixels-are-showing @tardisnesss @ladydovahkiin180 @catwomom @god-of-dramatic-death-scenes @th3rah @viper-queen @mephdcosplay @greghouse7 @faeprinces @kokoro-no-yami @trishaferdream @therealmoni @crazytxgradstudent @sansthelonelypunster @crowley-needs-a-hug @girlonfireice @wasntpriscilla @ivanna6026

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #381

“don’t try to be the one person who has stayed just to say they never left me”

Do you feel bored with your life? Always. Do you miss anyone who was mean to you in the past? I sometimes miss Colleen, but I know it's for the better that we no longer associate with each other. What’s the most weight you’ve ever gained from a medication? I don't know, but a fuck of a lot. Thanks, Abilify. Have you ever been suicidal? Yes. Do you pray? If yes, to whom? No. What do you miss about high school? Memories with Jason. What do you miss the most about college? Socializing. What was the best date you’ve ever been on? A triple date to an arcade w/ Jason and friends. What’s the last great song you discovered? The most recent one? I don't know, really. Do you feel free to post how you feel on Facebook? Yeah. Don't like what I post, delete me. Have you ever done cocaine? Yikes, no thanks. Do you think you’ll ever get married? Do you want to? I sometimes wonder if I ever will. I'm scared of just continuing to be an unemployed leech that is doing nothing significant with her life, in which case it's like, why even be with me romantically. I feel like such a dead end street. I want to get married someday. Who do you care about the most? When it comes down to it, probably my mom. Have you ever made out on a couch? Yeah. Would you ever get gauged ears? I want small gauges, actually. When it comes to clothing, are you the conservative type? Yes, because I hate my body and don't want others to see it. Do you enjoy eating? I wish I didn't. Have you ever ridden in a race car? No. Do you go out of your way to impress the opposite gender? No. Do you enjoy history? Not really, no. It bores me. Are you a pajama person or do you stay dressed all day? I'm just about always in my pjs. Do you value looks or personality more? Personality is way more important. Have you ever changed religions? Yeah. Born Roman Catholic, converted to Christianity when I further understood the differences, then I went to how I am now: I believe in something(s), but I don't quite know what. I wouldn't call myself a Neo-Pagan, but it's what I relate most to. Would you ever wear fake eyelashes? I would for like, my wedding. Foo fighters vs. Red Hot Chili Peppers: I'm actually not a big fan of either. Are you a fan of the SAW movies? I don't really watch them. Do you ever forget how old your siblings are? My two immediate sisters, I'm sometimes a year off. All my others, yes. :x Mountain Dew or Sprite? Mountain Dew, of course. I really don't like Sprite now, which is ironic because as a kid, it was my favorite soda. Could you ever give yourself a shot? Yeah. Have you ever worked as a cashier? That was one of my duties when I worked at a dollar store. If you are on birth control that allows you take pills and skip your period, how often do you opt to skip it? How come? My birth control doesn't allow me to skip, but rather, it regulates it. Is there a book series where you loved the first book, but for some reason the other books in the series just didn’t measure up? I can't say that, no, as most series I just kinda fell out of, like The Hunger Games. LOVED the first book, started the second, and even though I was enjoying it, I just stopped for some reason? Are there any stores/restaurants that you would like to shop/eat at, but there aren’t any located near enough to you? Haha yeah, like lots of west coast fast food places like Jack n' the Box or however it's formatted. If you were told by a professional that you were unable to become pregnant, how would that affect you? Is there something important to you about conceiving a biological child rather than adoption? And finally, if you even want to have children, would you choose adoption or surrogacy or would you go on childless? I don't even want kids, so honestly, I'd be stoked if I learned I was infertile. Wouldn't need to worry about the chance of getting pregnant and facing an abortion dilemma. Is there something that you did not used to take seriously, that you either now take seriously or wish that you had in the past (e.g., a relationship that you miss, your education, etc.)? Hm. I don't know. Are there any subjects that you are interested in so much that you would read whole books or academic journals about them? Meerkats, especially. I will read EVERY scientific article about them I find. Are you physically affectionate with your friends? I'm a hugger. When you were in middle school and high school, did you witness a lot of bullying? How did the teachers react to name-calling or violence? Not really, thankfully. Are any of your friends/relatives actually impressive artists or writers? Are you willing to share an example of their work? Yeah. I have a cousin who's really good at drawing, and my sister is a wonderful cake decorator. Do you drink more apple or orange juice? Orange. Could you forgive your best friend for sleeping with your gf/bf? My hypothetical bf/gf, no. Would you ever donate blood? I have before, and I would again if I knew I was hydrated enough and the opportunity was right there. Would you rather drink coffee or tea? Ugh, neither. Do you get easily embarrassed? YES. How long was your longest make out? TMI alert, like all night. If the person who hurt you most said they’re sorry would you believe them? I honestly don't know. Do you have sensitive skin? Very. What color is your mum's car? White. Do you live in an apartment? No. Do you have a pet fish? Nope. Are you happy with your eye color? I wish they were a more sapphire blue. Solid soap bar or liquid body wash? Absolutely liquid body wash. What color do you want your dream car to be? Baby pink. *-* Do you have more then one favorite band? I say I do, but at the same time I know Ozzy Osbourne will ALWAYS be #1. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship? In a relationship. But it's absolutely not something I'm about to force just for the sake of being in one. Would you be really upset if Facebook ceased to exist tomorrow? Nah. Have you or would you try shark meat? No to both. Do you know anyone that's pescatarian? No. Someone I watch on YouTube is, though. Are you shy or over confident around your crushes? Super shy. Do you think the govt. has a cure for cancer, but is hiding it from public? Hell, I think it's very well possible, but I lean more towards for financial hoarding, they simply don't further pursue potential cures that are discovered. I mean, just THINK about all the "future cures" you've read or heard about. It's fucking outrageous. It's all to fuel the medical industry. Okay, tin hat coming off. Last time you drank a diet soda? A very long time ago, because diet soda gives me a massive headache. Was your ex born in America? Only one wasn't. Name your favorite type of music and why. Metal. I for one just like the sound, and I find it very therapeutic when I'm especially mad or sad. Even when I'm in a good mood, I just enjoy it. I also feel that a lot of metal songs tell interesting stories and/or have very poetic lyrics. Do you own or have you read, or thought of reading any self-help books? I haven't, but I've considered it. Can you breakdance? Definitely not. Have you ever read a book and not understood it? If so which one? Yes. We were assigned this one war novel in middle school that was FUCKING AWFUL, like I was checked out the whole time. I don't remember its name or anything. Have you ever watched a movie and not understood it? If so which one? Yes; the Warcraft movie I mentioned in a recent survey. Orcs and their fucking deep-ass voice that I couldn't understand. Do you blowdry your hair? No. Tell me about your dream last night. Omfgggggg y'all. So, there's one invert pet that I've never understood the keeping appeal of, and that's giant centipedes. Their bites are notoriously excruciating, and they are just SO goddamn fast. Well, for some godforsaken reason, I wanted one as a pet. Got one, and it immediately got loose. Guess who wanted to shit herself lmao. Centipedes are very cool, but only from a distance, ya feel? Have you ever stayed in a fancy high-class rich hotel? No. Have you ever stayed in a rent-by-the-hour motel? I don't think so. Describe the worst fight you’ve ever been in whether physical or verbal. I'm not entirely sure about my *worst*, but I know it was with Mom. We've had a few. Have you heated any food in your microwave today? Yeah, a shrimp alfredo Lean Cuisine bowl. Do you own any items of clothing with cartoon characters on them? Yes. Have you ever played Animal Crossing? No, it doesn't seem like my kinda game. Do you own anything (e.g jewelry, accessories) with your initial on it? Yes, but none of which I personally bought because I don't really like them. Do you own any cats or dogs? What are their names? I have a cat named Roman. <3 Have you added any books to your shelves lately? Which? No. Have you bought any new cosmetics or toiletries lately? Which? No. Do your pets have a specific type of food that they prefer? Roman will eat whatever cat food he's given, while Venus, like your average ball python, is a picky eater. Like when I first got her, she wouldn't eat for almost a year because I just couldn't find a method through which she'd accept food. Now she consistently takes frozen/thawed small rats that have actually sat in warm water (versus doing it by hand under running water), and she generally won't strike it unless it's offered to her by tongs, but not dangling by the tail. Picky, picky miss thang. What's your favourite variety of apple? I'm not very particular about flavor so long as the apple is crisp. I canNOT do soft apples. Which of your physical features do you receive the most compliments about? My hair.

[chickensarentcheap]

Best Part of Me -Chapter 33

Warnings: none

Tagging: @c-a-v-a-l-r-y​, @alievans007​, @innerpaperexpertcloud​

It’s six thirty in the morning when he steps out onto the front porch; barefoot and blurry eyed, still clad in just a pair of boxer briefs, cup of coffee in one hand and phone in the other.  After Nik’s call he’d fallen into a restless sleep; dreaming of Dhaka and the night at Gaspar’s house when he’d been given the five million dollar deal. This time he’d made a different decision; willingly giving both Ovi and Esme up in exchange for money and his freedom. Asif had been there, sitting in a darkened corner; watching and listening. A pleased, victorious smile on his lips as his right hand man brought over his two new favourite playthings. They’d been drugged; minds and eyes hazy, their movements sluggish and uncoordinated.  He’d had a change of heart at the last moment; offering his life in exchange for hers. Begging and pleading with Asif to ‘take me instead of the girl’.  Asif had just laughed, then grabbed her by the hair and forced her to look at Tyler. Mocking her, telling her to look at the big, strong man now; crying like a baby and bargaining to save her. How did that make her feel? Knowing he could be so weak? That she was the one capable of making him that way? Is that really what she wanted? Someone so pathetic? Or did she want a real man like him. Then he’d his hand had moved to her throat; fingers digging into the soft flesh with enough power and pressure to steal her breath. And he’d kissed her. Savagely. Brutally.

And she’d kissed him back.

Tyler woke up breathless; near sobbing. Tears spilling down his cheeks,  his heart thundering, and chest aching. Initially panicking at the unfamiliar surroundings and bolting upright, wide -almost terrified- eyes taking in everything around him; the furnishings, the color of the walls, his old friend sleeping soundly across the room, the cattle dog sitting beside the couch, curiously watching him.  And it hadn’t been until he’d glanced out the window and caught sight of the mountain range, tree line, and brush that reality had finally settled in.  He was no longer in Dhaka. Not at Gaspar’s outside the city limits.  It was seven years ago. Not now. He’d turned down the offer and Asif hadn’t been there; he’d never laid a hand on her and he’d never kissed her. None of that had ever happened. Just his mind -broken and in tatters- playing tricks on him. They’d made it out of Bangladesh. She was saife. At home. In bed. THEIR bed.

He’d been tempted to call; just to hear her voice; needing that extra bit of reassurance that everything was fine. SHE was fine. But he knew what the mornings could be like; up before the sunrise with the baby, then tending to Declan and getting breakfast made and three kids up and ready for school. Ovi would be there; promising to keep an eye on things and lending a hand whenever it was needed. Kyle couldn’t be relied on; too busy getting his rocks off with Salena. Or whatever the hell her real name is. And Tyler had briefly wondered if getting into Kyle’s life had been part of whatever the new neighbor was up to; a way of weaseling her way into their lives for some fucked. The uncertainty eats at him; knowing that something isn’t quite right yet not being able to prove it or get the information that he needs. Way too many things pointing towards trouble; the Jeep with the stolen plates and the driver with the earpiece that had been watching him and the kids. Salena getting out of the passenger seat with a stack of folders under her arm and no record of her actually existing. All the ingredients, everything needed, to create a huge goddamn mess.

His head throbs. A mixture of lack of sleep and not eating properly. The cravings are intense. When he’d gone into the kitchen to make himself a coffee, he’d been greeted by all the whisky and scotch bottles that littered the counters and shelves; some empty, others half full, a handful still sealed.  And his hands had been shaking as he’d considered it; one on a glass and the other around a bottle of scotch. His brain exhausted from dealing with the nightmare,   trying to piece together the bullshit with the neighbor, and the call from Nik and the threats she’d made.  A single wouldn’t hurt. That’s what the demon on his shoulder had been telling him. That he could stop at just one and walk away; get enough to satisfy the craving, get the taste of it on his lips and tongue.  And he’d been close. So close. Seconds away from pouring the scotch into a glass.  And then as quick as the desperation and the need had come, it had disappeared. Leaving him feeling  weak and shamed and completely disgusted with himself.

Now he sits on the edge of the porch, feeling ground with his feet pressed against the damp earth. It had rained considerably last night; puddles of mud, lower temperatures, and a fresh and familiar earthy smell in its wake. Sadie hasn’t left his side since he’d arrived yesterday; now pressed tightly to him, chin resting on his thigh as he sips his coffee and checks his text messages and emails. Skipping over the angry rants left by Nik and the irritated ‘clearly out of fucks’- one that Yaz had contributed. Tyler hasn’t heard from him since New Zealand; the one other man taking it as a personal slight that he’d given it all up and walked away without even a glance back.

There’s dozens of emails from the contacts he’d reached out to; mercs wanting to work for him and offering their services, retired guys wanting to get back into the game, people who can supply him with weapons and ammo and every other accessory and piece of technology he can imagine.  Even mail from former clients; guys he’d done jobs for and had been so impressed with his efficient -and successful- work. They’re pleased  that he’s not only   back in action, but that he’s actually still alive. They have resources for him; supplies, money, names and numbers of other high profile people that may need some work done.  And he sees the emails that his wife has returned, smiling as he reads her replies; concise, confident, intelligent. As if she’s never spent a single moment away from the job; smoothly and effortlessly transitioning back into her old life.

It won’t be easy; balancing the job and running a business while trying to keep a marriage afloat and raise five kids. But there’s no doubt in his mind that they can do it. They’re stronger together than they are apart; they always have been. And if they can survive the past seven years -especially his addiction issues and a six month separation that should have broken them-, they can survive anything.

He sends a text message. Telling her how much he loves her. Misses her. How he can’t wait to see her. That he’s proud of her. Not just the way that she’s handling the business side of things, but EVERYTHING.  The way she’s always fought for them. For HIM. How she raises his kids. Pouring his heart out with every letter that appears on the screen. He’d not normally that ‘type’, grand displays of affection and sincere, romantic words not his strong suit.  But the nightmare -especially the way Asif had kissed her and she’d reciprocated- has left him feeling unsettled; needing to get things off his chest. The things he feels but always struggles to say.

She quickly sends a text in response. I LOVE YOU. SO MUCH. WE MISS YOU.  Accompanied by a selfie of herself and Millie lying in the middle of their bed, both with sleepy smiles and messy hair and hands down the two most beautiful girls in the world. And he thinks of what Koen had said; about how lucky he is and that any woman who would stuck his side -through everything- was a woman worth holding onto him. She could have easily left that day on the bridge; he wouldn’t have blamed her if she did. But she’d ignored Nik and stuck around and put her own ass on line in an attempt to save his. And that’s nothing you easily thank someone for.

“You really are out of your damn mind,” Koen grumbles, as he wanders out onto the porch, his own cup of coffee in his hand; hair messy from sleep and eyes stilly glassy from all the booze he’d consumed. “Up at these hours of the morning.”

“This is pretty normal for me. Has been since I got clean.”

“Probably used to getting up with the rugrats,” Koen reasons, and takes a seat beside him. “Everything okay?” he nods down at the phone still clutched in Tyler’s hand. “At home?”

“Yeah. Everything’s good. Just checking in on everyone. Making sure they haven’t driven their mom crazy yet.”

“She must already be crazy. Having that many kids with the likes of you. How the hell she puts up with you is beyond me. I’d only be able to stand looking at that ugly mug for so long.”

“You must not look in the mirror very often.”

Koen smirks. “Smart ass. You always were quick with the shit head comments. Thought maybe all that oxygen you were deprived of might have slowed you down a bit. But here I am, dealing with your crap.”

“Admit it. You missed me.”

“About as much as I miss my two ex wives,” Koen scoffs, and then digs a playful elbow in Tyler’s ribs. “You miss it? Living out here?”

“Not really. I have a better life now. A nice place right on the beach. Tons of property. Perfect for raising kids. Wouldn’t have been able to do that out here. We probably would have tried, bt…” he sips his coffee and shrugs. “...we’re happy where we are.”

“Smartest thing you ever did; coming home. No better place to bring up a handful of kids, if you ask me. It’s weird as hell though,” he chuckles. “You doing the whole daddy thing all over again. Never thought I’d see the day, to be honest.”

“Neither did I,” Tyler admits, and he thinks about the picture he’d received just minutes before. Millie with her messy, unruly hair and those huge blue eyes that crinkle at the edges when she smiles. How’d he cried when she’d been born and a nurse had placed her in his arms; tears of both relief that she’d made it safely and immense gratitude that he’d been given that chance again.

After Austin had passed away and his marriage disintegrated, he’d thought that it was it for him. His life had been a mess...HE’D been a mess...and he couldn’t imagine meeting someone that he’d be able to have that kind of experience with. That he’d trust enough to let his guard down around and that could tolerate him and his bullshit long enough to actually fall in with him. That he’d ever find someone to fall in love WITH.

“She’s going to be a heart breaker that one,” Koen says. “The oldest. Those eyes of hers? All the boys are going to be tripping over themselves to get to her.”

Tyler frowns. “They’re going to have to get through me first.”

“Poor bastards. They’re going to be scared shitless when they walk up the house and you’re the first one out to greet them. I feel for them; trying to date a girl that has you as their father. They’d have no clue that you’re capable of tearing them in half.”

“Anyone touches either of my girls, no one will ever find their bodies. No boyfriends. No dates. No dances. None of that. No one is getting close to them. Ever.”

“Yeah, good luck with that,” Koen chuckles, and takes a swallow of coffee. And for several minutes they sit in silence;   enjoying the feel of the breeze and the smell of fresh, damp earth.

“I hope you know what you’re doing,” his friend says. “With the whole merc business. I thought one brush with death would be enough. Apparently not.”

“Things will be different this time. I won’t have to go out in the field as much. Only if things really go to shit.”

“Don’t they always go to shit?”

“Sometimes. Dhaka was the worst, but it wasn’t the first time things went wrong and it won’t be the last. Hopefully we can avoid that level of shit show. I know what I’m doing. I’m not some rookie going into this blind. It was my life for years.”

“But why do you need it to be your life now? Look what you’ve got going for you. You’ve got a wife and little ones. Stability. Why put all that on the line for who you used to be?”

“You having second thoughts?”

“Nope. I said I’m in, I’m in. I’m just worried about you. I don’t you throwing your life away. I don’t want you losing your kids and that pretty little wife of yours. You got a thing going. A damn good thing. You don’t need to fucking that up.”

“It’s something I need to do,” Tyler says. “I need to get back out there. Get back that piece of who I was. I need to feel like I’m doing something worthwhile with my life.”

Koen frowns. “You don’t think you are? Doing something worthwhile?”

“What am I doing? I don’t have a nine to five job. No skills outside of what I learned in the military and on the job. I pick up odd shit here and there. Nothing steady. I spend more of my time in the gym or out in the water or spending time with my wife.”

“And you’re complaining about that last part? Spending time with the likes of her? What the fuck is wrong with you? Give her to someone who’d appreciate her then.”

“I’m not complaining. Far from it. I’m just saying there needs to be something more to this life. I feel like I need to be doing something more. I need to feel useful again. Like I’m not just washed up, broken down ex soldier with a drinking problem.”

“You’re a husband. And a dad. You help raise little human beings. There’s nothing useless about that. You should be sitting back enjoying your life. Appreciating what you have right in front of you. How you gonna feel if all this blows up in your face? If things go to hell and you lose everything? What the hell you gonna do then?”

“I don’t know. Put a gun in my mouth?”

Koen scowls. “I’m being serious, mate.”

“So am I.”

“All I’m hoping is that you got your shit together and you know what you’re doing. Because this is some serious stuff here. Getting back into being a merc. And you’ve got a lot to lose now. You’ve got everything to lose. That’s all I’m saying.”

Tyler smirks. “When did you become so sensitive and sentimental?”

“Don’t be a dick about this. I’m just worried about you. I don’t want you going back into this and losing what you have. Because you finally got your shit together and got a life that’s worth living.”

“I appreciate you worrying about me and all that, mate. I do. But I’ve got it under control. I know what I’m doing. This isn’t going to be like last time. I won’t let it be.”

Koen sighs. “You always have been a stubborn sonofabitch.”

“I know what I’m doing,” Tyler insists. “And I wouldn’t be doing it if I couldn’t handle it. Things will be alright. Esme and I are in this together. We’re on the same page. We’re not going to let this break us.”

“I hope not,”  Koen says. “Because I don’t think you’d survive that.”

***

His flight arrives on time, touching down shortly before noon hour at Cooktown airport. She parks the truck on the tarmac and waits; a pair of aviator style sunglasses covering her eyes, fingernails drumming against the steering wheel. She gives the pilot a small wave and a pleasant smile when he nods in her direction; they’d met briefly two days before, when he’d come to the house after Tyler had sought out his help.  Short and broad shouldered; brown hair cropped tightly to his head and kind green eyes that sparkle when he smiles. The quintessential ‘boy next door’ with his youthful wholesome good looks and his khaki pants and crisp white golf shirt.  Quite the juxtaposition compared to Tyler; all power and muscle and the tattoos and scars that tell of a hard life spent living on the edge.  

This is the furthest she’s ever gotten into the job; not only helping organize and run things, but the acquiring of weapons and ammo and other supplies, and the handling of money -big money-  aside from her own payouts. It makes her anxious; knowing that she’s one of two people that others will come to now. Instead of being approached with work and offered jobs,  now she’s in charge of finding and assigning them. Gathering intel had been one thing; she’d spent years honing those skills. Being boss is an entirely different animal all in itself.

So much for not getting ‘too involved’.

Four large and heavy locked trunks are placed in the bed of the truck, followed by several smaller duffle bags that are loaded into the back seat. All containing a shockingly generous amount of automatic and semi automatic rifles and handguns, various types of grenades and their launches, knives, and utility vests. Whatever immediate gear that a merc would meet. All would be placed in a storage facility on the outskirts of town, save for a handful that would be kept in the two locked and secure  gun lockers  that already exist at home; one in their garage and the other in the attic.

Once things are safely loaded, an envelope of money is exchanged. Everything being handled off the books; no paper trail that can connect the pilot to the or the very illegal transport of weapons. You never know who is watching. Now that word has gotten out and spread like wildfire, support and interest are pouring in. But it isn’t just the good-intentioned that are paying attention; a man like Tyler Rake burns a lot of bridges and makes a lot of enemies. Evil, dangerous people who feel as if he wronged them and have been holding onto grudges and fantasizing about revenge.

“Hey,” she cheerfully greets, as he slides into the passenger seat. “How was the flight? How…?”

His mouth is on hers before she gets the rest of the words out; a hand tangling in her hair as he aggressively pulls her into him.  The kiss is long and soft and sweet at first; his lips bearing a hint of coffee and a touch of mint. But then things quickly take a more intense turn; his tongue pushing its way way into her mouth, the miss much more ravenous and needy. Desperate.

“Wow…” she breathes, when he pulls away, forehead briefly resting against hers before his lips brush against the bridge of her nose. “...what was that for?”

“I wanted to kiss my wife. That’s not allowed?”

“Of course it’s allowed. And encouraged. But that was...intense. That wasn’t your usual ‘back after only twenty four hours’ kiss. That was your ‘I’ve been gone for two or three weeks’ kind of kiss.”

“Guess I just missed you.” he reasons, and then presses his lips to her temple before settling back into his seat and reaching for the belt.

“Okay, something is going on. You kissed me like THAT and you’re letting me drive your truck?”

“You had to drive it here, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, but you’re here now and it’s your baby and usually…”

“It’s just a truck,” he says with a shrug, and buckles his seat belt.

“Something is definitely going on with you.”

Tyler chuckles. “There’s nothing. I didn’t sleep well last night and I have a killer headache and it’s probably just better if you drive. That’s all.”

“Do you have a killer headache because…?”

“I wasn’t drinking iof that’s what you’re going to ask. I stayed sober. I told you I wasn’t going to be like that again and I meant it.”

“What was the dream about?”

“Can’t remember. I just know it was fucked and I don’t want to have it again.”

Her eyes narrow as she watches him, noticing the way he grimaces when he stretches his legs out in front of him and the frown on his face as he rubs at his troublesome knee. The scar is long and jagged; starting three inches above and stopping four inches below. There’d been complications; the surgeon discovering more damage, bone fragments and scar tissue than he’d initially expected and having to not only replace the knee, but repair ligaments and tendons that were nearly severed.

“What’s this about?” She reaches over to tussle his hair. The length on the top is the same as when he’d left, but the sides and back now shaved as close to the skin as possible.  High and tight; a Marine cut.  

“Just something I thought I’d try.”

“You’re going back to the old hair aren’t you,” a slow smile spreads across his face. “You’re going to let the top grow out.”

“It’s the look you liked the most, yeah? Now you can’t say I never do anything nice for you.”

“Baby…” she leans across the space between their seats and presses a kiss to his cheek; his beard still full yet trimmed and tidier. “...you’re the best. You know how to keep your girl happy.”

He grins. “Sometimes.”

“All the time,” she says, and places a kiss to the corner of his mouth before settling back into her seat and starting the ignition.  A companionable silence falling between them as they pull out of the hanger and head for home.

****

“ARE you okay?” Esme asks several minutes later.

“Fine,” Tyler replies, his head tilted back against his seat, eyes closed; one hand on his stomach, the other on her thigh, thumb continuously brushing against her skin.  “Just tired. It was a long night. Couldn’t fall asleep and when I did, I had that fucked up dream.” “And you don’t remember what it was about?”

“Nope. It wasn’t one of the usual ones, though. Never had this one before. But it was messed up. I remember that much.”

How do you explain a dream like THAT? That you’d been  willing to sacrifice someone’s life for five million dollars; knowing that a drug lord would have used and abused them  in horrific and degrading ways before killing them? She doesn’t even know about the whole truth about what happened at Gaspar’s. For nearly seven years she’d assumed that the deal had been for Ovi; that Gaspar had been hell bent on killing him and Tyler refused to give the kid up and all hell broke loose.

“Hmmm…” she turns her full attention to the road, chewing absentmindedly on her bottom lip. She’s used to this; his constant need to keep everything inside and shoulder every single burden on his own. It’s his protective nature; not wanting to add any extra stress or worry to her already overflowing plate. “...and things went okay?”

“Everything went fine. Got Koen on board, got everything we need to get started. Things went good. Place doesn’t even look the same anymore. Not inside, anyway.”

“And he’s still okay with letting us stay there?”

“Yup. Just said to make sure we change the sheets. Said he doesn’t want to be lying in our ‘business’.”

She laughs at that.

“Did Nik call you?” he casually and calmly asks, hand sliding onto the inside of her thigh; fingertips against the bare skin just below the hem of her shorts.

“Nik? Why should she call me? I’m probably the last person she wants to hear from after that night at the restaurant. I’m sure she blames me for Kyle calling things off.”

“Well in all fairness, you did kind of instigate the whole thing. Hooking him with the neighbor. Even after I told you to stay out of it and mind your business.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault it was instant lust between them. We know all about that, don’t we.”

He grins.

“But no. She didn’t call. That’s kind of a weird thing to ask, About Nik.”

“She called me,” Tyler admits, and he notices the way both of her brows arch. “Last night. I only answered because I thought it was you and that maybe something was wrong at home.”

“Why would she call you? Was she having a lonely night? Wanted to have phone sex?”

“I didn’t have the energy. I’d already had phone sex with you, so…”

“Boy that must have broken her heart; the fact you keep shooting her down. Maybe she feels if she keeps bugging you enough she’ll wear you down and you’ll give in.”

“Not gonna happen. I already told you; I’m not a cheater. I don’t want anyone else but you. And she actually called to give me shit. I guess word travels faster than we thought it would.”

“Well it was going to happen sooner or later.”

“Later would have been nice.”

“I take it she wasn’t happy.”

Tyler smirks. “That’s one way of putting it. She lost her shit. She’s taking it personally; thinks I did it to purposefully fuck her over and put her out of business.”

“Mercs are jumping ship left, right, and center. I can’t keep up with all the messages and the emails. She’s not going to have anyone left.”

He shrugs. “Guess she shouldn’t have let things go to shit.”

“They went to shit seven years ago when she made the decisions she did. That should have been the end of it; when she was so willing to leave you on the bridge to die. She totally fucked you. And not in a good way. Like whose dick is she sucking that she keeps her job?”

A grin tugs at the corner of Tyler’s mouth. “You’re feisty today.”

“I hope you do put her out of business. I hope she loses everything. Because she fucking deserves it. She’s done a lot of shitty things and I’m glad karma is finally biting her in the ass.”

“She’s not going to go down without a fight. She’s pretty pissed. And pretty determined to make my life hell.”

Esme frowns. “She said that? That she’s going to make your life hell?”

“Not in so many words.”

“Well what did she say? Did she threaten to show up and kick your ass? I’d love to see her try.”

“She just said some shit. About us. When I said something about how my wife and my kids will always be around, she made a comment about how she’ll ‘see about that’.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“I don’t know. But I told her I wasn’t fucking around. Don’t threaten my family. It didn’t end well for the last person who tried it and it won’t end well for her.” “Nk hardly seems the type that would hurt kids. There’s no doubt in my mind she’d come for me. She’s been wanting me out of the picture for a long time. But to do something to hurt the kids? I can’t see her stooping that low.”

“I don’t think it was a physical threat. Nik’s all about screwing with peoples’ heads. Look what she did to me. She knew I was messed up and she knew exactly what buttons to push to get me to do what she wanted.”

“You think that’s what it is? Psychological warfare? Because she’s never gone up against me and that's a  battle I will not lose. I’ve gone up against bigger and better than her and I’m still here to tell about it. Besides, what could she possibly say that would bother me that much? After everything I’ve been through in the past seven years? Nothing could unnerve me that badly that it would screw things up between us. Look at everything we’ve been through. That shit we’ve survived.  She doesn’t even know HALF of it. Trust me, there’s nothing she could say that could hurt us.”

“It’s Nik. She’ll make shit up if she has to.”

“She can save her breath. I know all your deepest and darkest secrets. So if she thinks she has something to surprise me, she’s got another thing coming. I do, right?” she casts him a sidelong glance. “Know everything I need to know?”

“There’s nothing I haven’t told you. I told you most of it in the first couple of days. Everything else you’ve lived through with me.”

“Then let her make shit up,” Esme shrugs. “I think I trust you word over hers. After everything she’s pulled,  I wouldn’t believe a goddamn word she says. And the fact she’d even threaten you? Like, she knows who she’s talking to, right? Someone who killed two people with one garden rake. That’s really who she wants to go up against?”

“She probably thinks I won’t retaliate. I don’t give a shit what history we have. You don’t threaten my family. Ever.”

“Normally I’d tell you you’re being paranoid and you’re way too overprotective, but this side of you is kind of hot.”

He grins. “Kind of?”

“Totally hot,” she admits, then giggles and shoves his hand away when he slides it towards her crotch. “Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“What’s gotten into you the last few days? You’re a little...I don’t know...assertive...when it comes to the whole sex thing.”

“I’m not allowed to want to have sex with my life? First I can’t kiss you a certain way, now I can’t have sex with you either?”

“It’s not that you can’t. You’re just a little more...demanding...than usual. Needy.  Needy is a good word for it. And we’ve always had a lot of sex but lately, you’ve just been...extra...about it.”

He gives in an amused smirk. “I’m extra?”

“In a good way,” she assures him.

“Look, I love you. You’re beautiful. You’re sexy. And I want to fuck you. So…”  his hand once again slides along her thigh, slipping under the leg opening of her shorts. Fingertips grazing against the edge of her simple cotton pants. “...when we get home, that’s what we’re going to do. Fuck.”

“Addie and Declan are there. Ovi’s watching them.”

“Send them to his place. Tell him we need half an hour kid free. He’ll know what that means.”

“A half an hour?” she playfully inquires. “When has it only taken half an hour?”

“I’m in a mood,” he replies, and slides a finger under her panties, and she swallows noisily and her entire body tenses when it pushes through her folds and grazes over her clit.

“Obviously. And you’re going to put me in a mood!” She squeezes  her thighs shut, trapping his hand between them. “Stop! I’m trying to drive!”

“Just relax. Let me do this.”

“You’re crazy!”

“Come on…” he grins. “...do it. I know you want to. It’s something we’ve never done before. You can’t tell me you don’t want to try. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Oh I don’t know, Tyler. I could crash and kill us both and our kids would be orphans. That’s pretty much the worst.”

“Do it…” he encourages. “...open your legs...let me do this for you...let me make you feel good.”

She glances at him out of the corner of her eyes.

“Our little secret,” his grin widens. “I promise.”

“You're insane. You really are.”

“Maybe. But I can feel how wet you are. “I know you want it just as much as I do. Just do it. Just this once. Let me to this for you.”

She sighs heavily, thighs releasing the grip on his hand.

“That’s my girl,” he praises, swallowing noisily when he slips another finger between her folds, watching her face as the tips press against her clit. Noticing the flush that creeps into her cheeks and the tips of her ears, the way her teeth dig painfully into her bottom lip.

“You really are a bad influence,” she half-heartedly complains.

“Yeah,” he agrees, as his fingers continue their ministrations.  “But you love me though.”

She doesn’t even attempt to deny it.

[snowflake-of-destruction]

would you ever uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh write uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh monster scarf

Take what I wrote before getting distracted by something shiny. I’m not going to proofread it or attempt to remember how this came to be. Read more because 1) length 2) suggestive themes in one part. Warning: It’s dumb, but, I mean the whole premise is crack

It was all because of Roxas.

Those words were a perpetual reoccurrence in Axel's second life. The reasoning behind countless life decisions, good and bad, but predominantly the former since he couldn't bring himself to consider even the ones with heavy consequences if they involved the man that had breathed life and love back into his existence. In particularly romantic times, the fiery keyblade wielder would claim that it was because of Roxas that his lungs filled and emptied and he continued to exist, every exhale a tribute and whisper of the blonde's name. Such claims though were usually met with rolled eyes and uneven blotches of red that looked more like hives or fever than blushing and were all the more endearing for it, paired with a grumble that he shut up and stop being so cheesy from the object of his affection himself.

They were also paired with less life and death actions. It was all because of Roxas Axel got his head stuck in between the slots of the banister in Elsa's ice palace and had to be carved free and then wait for the remains to melt off him. It was all because of Roxas he had to keep buying new clothes, and not just because of tears and popped buttons that were casualties of overeager fingers but because ice cream once a day and sometimes more, replacing meals, was not something he could sustain and remain a rail now that he was fully human without the magic metabolism of a Nobody perpetually in his ideal state (Roxas had crowed that Axel may one day even have an actual ass to speak of, and after the redhead's subsequent, calculated pouting had been forced to show him how he appreciated what ass Axel did have now). It was all because of Roxas and his insistence on buying what was on sale, and that he knew best and paint always ended up more faded when applied to large areas than on paint chips that the walls of their apartment were such a very bright green that it scared Xion's dog, Dinah. Though it was Axel's fault partially for not questioning Roxas's knowledge when he knew full well that he'd once had to teach Roxas and Xion what paint was.

This time, it was all Roxas's fault that the scarf collection began.

What was Axel supposed to do but add a new ever present accessory to his wardrobe when Roxas ran over to a stall in the Agrabah market without even being summoned by the ever present yelling of one of the vendors trying to entice passersby and only managing to produce an intimidating cacophony of conflicting overzealous squawking that tended to repel Axel for one ( though he supposed it had to work on some people if they kept doing it) and ran back with a stretch of silken material in brilliant emerald interspersed with gold swoops and coils and clutches of blue and red flowers in busy bunches trailing through the air behind him like a banner?

"It's the color of your eyes!" Roxas had exclaimed in explanation, throwing the prize around Axel's neck, smiling brighter than the glaring sun, intensity enough to cast away every bit of grating sand and even more grating annoyance that Yensid had sent them to the desert world for the fourth time that month when he knew for a fact Sora and Kairi were both available but kept getting assigned new worlds, and keeping his hands twisted in the ends so he could use the scarf as a yoke to pull Axel's head down in order to kiss him without the need to stretch or press himself close enough enough that a simple kiss would lead to distracting thoughts and temptations not fit for a public marketplace.

Warmth settled in Axel's chest beyond even the usual warmed caramel slow melt that Roxas tended to inspire as the redhead reached up and pinched the water soft material of the scarf between two fingers and slid the calloused pads of his fingers along its coolness. "Thank you, I love it. I used to wear scarves a lot back in Radiant Garden before...." his smile turned sheepish and slightly pained in the way it still too often did when speaking even of happy memories from his first life as Lea. "Well, before." When Roxas let go, he looped the scarf a few more times around his neck, pulled to make the loops loose, and tucked the ends under. "Looks good," he said with far too much confidence for someone without a mirror and wearing a yellow and orange kurta and pants to blend in with the locals that didn't as much compliment the colors of the material circling his neck as directly contest them.

"You don't match," Roxas had done his part to inform him. The scarf would bring a pop of color to Axel's usual wardrobe of mostly black.

"I know," Axel seemed to relish the words, a smile crinkling the corners of eyes that lit in a way that Roxas could only compare to the times Axel greeted friends after long absences.

It became a self-perpetuating cycle. Axel would wear scarves because Roxas would buy them and look so immensely pleased with himself that his partner was surprised he didn't start humming. Roxas continued buying them because Axel looked at each one like it completed him.

Then it carried beyond that. Far beyond.

Roxas slacked to just taking pictures of interesting scarves he saw and sending them to Axel's gummi phone. Twilight Town hardly ever dipped below temperate, and even though many of the scarves Axel now owned were pure fashion statements, most were thicker and several of the infinity scarves were now part of woven together, braided scarf trios that increased their thickness as well as their propensity to clash hideously with whatever Axel wore, something he seemed to consider a bonus instead of a deterrent, ever the enigma, the man who considered walking outside without making sure his winged eyeliner was perfectly even a crime and was occasionally known to vainly fuss over his hair as if tending a firstborn child, but now took glee in mixing stripes with checks. Besides, Axel now owned scarves in the double digits. Roxas felt silly carrying on with impulse buying. They could be a fun fallback birthday or holiday gift now, but how many scarves did Axel really need?

The answer to the question Roxas luckily hadn't asked aloud was answered after he came home one night to see Axel cooking dinner with a scarf knitted to look like a giant strip of bacon that he hadn't seen before.

"New present from Namine?" After the artist had spent a month with Rapunzel, Eugene, and Cassandra (an event that caused the Guardians of Light to start taking bets on whether the handmaiden had influenced the length of her stay until Namine had upset all assumptions by announcing she was moving to Todayland and then proceeded to spam Kingstagram with pictures of her with Wilbur Robinson) she'd come back with several new talents she now was very likely to send examples to her friends. They'd already been sent matching knitted beanies in sea salt blue and a set of looped potholders.

"No, I've had this for a bit," Axel had answered vaguely, and Roxas had accepted it, easily distracted by the fact that the bacon scarf and a novelty apron with a racing ketchup and mustard bottle and the caption "I relish the fact that you mustard up the will to ketchup with me" was all Axel was wearing to cook dinner.

"Xion isn't home?" he asked unnecessarily.

One burnt dinner later, Roxas found himself with his wrists tied together with the bacon scarf, whining in protest as Axel pulled away and left him lying alone and terribly neglected on the bed, muttering under his breath about blindfolds as he searched through his top dresser drawer.

"Your scarves are hanging up in the closet. Remember? I got you that scarf rack to hang them all off of." It technically had been advertised as a hanging tie rack but a tie rack wasn't something they needed.

"Those are only some of the ones from you, a few everyday ones and ones I want to display," Axel tossed out casually like the sentence was perfectly normal as he slid open the second dresser drawer down--the one Roxas knew to skip over when he was putting away clothes after his turn doing laundry because Axel had started using it for overflow from the memory boxes of old papers, WINNER popsicle sticks, and the like he kept on the top shelf of the closet--only to have it explode with multicolored material that had apparently been shoved into every nook the dresser drawer had to offer, compressed until it became spring loaded. Axel did not appear to be bothered by the comical display. "My less important scarves are in here. Might need another drawer soon." It's said absently, the blissful unawareness of the hoarder who doesn't see a problem.

Roxas constricted the muscles of his stomach in an attempt to sit up without use of his arms or hands and turned toward his boyfriend, amused.  "You have been hiding scarves?"

"Not hiding," a slip of defensiveness entered Axel's voice. "The box in the guest room is just because I haven't gotten a chance to unpack the ones Isa sent from Radiant Garden yet."

"Your old scarves?" That changed things in Roxas's eyes. He wouldn't make fun of any attempt of Axel's to regain and reclaim a happier past.

"No, the Restoration Committee had a town garage sale as a community event. I told Isa to buy me any interesting pieces and send them with the next gummi ship. I think he threw in a couple he bought too." Axel faced the bed with a bright red woolen scarf with white reindeer and snowflakes in one hand and a flimsy thing with cherry blossoms that had probably started its life as a woman's shawl in the other. "Is the mood still on or do you want me to help you out of that knot?" He gestured toward Roxas's tied hands with a flick of the hand that sent a waterfall ripple down the cherry blossom scarf.

"Mood's a little off," Roxas wriggled his wrists to keep feeling in his hands. "But nothing that can't be reclaimed. One question first though. There's a whole box in the guest room....besides the drawer and the scarf rack?"

Axel shoved scarves back into the drawer by the handful, only keeping out a thin black and blue striped fuzzy cashmere. "Nobody's using the third bedroom since you moved into mine. I don't see a problem. I'll move the box in here."

"The problem isn't cluttering the bedroom," Roxas trailed off as Axel approached the bed.

"Then what's the problem? They make me happy."

"...Then I guess I'm happy."

The decision that there was no problem just added to it. Scarves no longer confined to hiding spots were now found draped over lamps like decoration, hanging from fan blades like streamers, discarded on chairs when ones that were worn were taken off under the excuse they were just forgotten when the truth, that space to put them away neatly was limited, was apparent. They multiplied as if breeding. Roxas feared he'd have to host an intervention. Xion, for her part, was ready to co-host, insisting that Axel's collection wasn't normal. "I have a seashell collection. It doesn't take over our whole apartment!"

Intervention proved not to be necessary though. Axel got the situation under control on his own, after a fashion at least. It started with losing control entirely, and before that, a trip to Monstropolis.

[And then Axel buys a scarf that turns out to be alive and have a mind of its own. Whoops. It plays nice and docile for awhile but then starts strangling him or jumps off his neck to strangle someone else when it becomes enraged seeing so many of its fellows lying “”dead”” around the Sea Salt Trio’s apartment. They would make quick work of the scarf but it has many, many places to hide in camouflage and proves able to swap its pattern with another scarf if it touches it. Thus the hunt begins. But who is hunting who? ] 

[niksixx]

Picture Perfect

Requested: Yes, by an Anon! 

Pairing: The Dirt!Mick Mars x Reader

Description: You’re Crue’s concert photographer and Tommy, Vince, and Nikki are all camera hogs and Mick is definitely more shy. So you try to get pics of him and end up having cute moments together like snapping his pic backstage, and you fall for each other in the process! 

*Picture is NOT mine. Found on Google. Credit to the owner.*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Tommy, I’ve gotten twenty pictures of you already.” 

“Nikki, if you try licking my camera lens again…” 

“Vince, smile. For once. Please.” 

“Nikki, what did I say?”

“Tommy please don’t moon the camera. I don’t want to see that.” 

“That is the fakest smile ever Vince.” 

“Where the hell is Mick?”

That was your day summed up in a nutshell. When you were first hired as Mötley Crüe’s concert photographer, you were elated. Three months later, you’d grown gray hair trying to get decent shots of the rambunctious bandmates. Nikki and Tommy were camera hogs; Wherever you were with the camera, they followed like lost puppies. And the amount of times you had to tell them to pull up their pants because they wanted a few dick pictures was appalling. Vince also loved the camera, but that man never smiled. 

And then you had Mick Mars who stayed as far away from the camera as possible. Sometimes you wished he were more like Nikki and Tommy. You barely had any pictures of him all tour and you were growing more frustrated with him. 

Making your way to Mick’s dressing room, you held your chin high, determined to snap some shots of the angry guitar player. 

“Mick?” Knocking on his door, you waited for a response. “Mick! It’s me, Y/N.” 

Laughing, you heard Mick grumble as soon as he opened the door, a bottle of vodka tucked under his arm. He stared at you with his lips in a straight line, no emotion on his face. “I am not taking any pictures, so don’t even think about it.” 

Stamping your foot, you rolled your eyes. Mick had always given you a hard time about taking his picture since you landed the photographer job. He had made it his mission to royally piss you off by avoiding the camera every chance he got. “Look, Doc has been chewing my ass because I don’t have any pictures of you. I’m asking for one picture, please Mick.” 

You were ready to get on your knees and start begging at this point. Why Mick was so stubborn you couldn’t fathom, but you refused to deal with it any longer. He was messing with your job, and there was nothing that you loved more than taking pictures. 

After a minute of uninterrupted silence, Mick closed his dressing room door and brushed past you, walking a few feet down the hall. You caught up to him just as he stopped and leaned against the wall. “One picture,” he said, offering you the smallest smile. “Only because I don’t want Doc harassing you because of me.” 

Grinning, you held up your camera, glancing through the lens. Mick positioned himself against the wall, one foot against the wall, and the bottle of vodka dangling toward the ground. He still wore that same poker-face look he perfected. “Can you act excited or something? You always look annoyed.” 

“Try dealing with my fucking bandmates all day,” Mick chuckled, holding up his fingers to resemble the ‘rock on’ symbol. Snapping the photo, you checked the lighting and then proceeded to take a few more after adjusting the lens distance. 

“I do deal with them, remember? Nikki and Tommy don’t ever leave me alone. Sometimes I wish you acted that way so then I’d have more pictures.” 

Holding up the camera, you scrolled through the few pictures of Mick, feeling your heart flutter the slightest bit when Mick grinned at the photos. “I didn’t realize how talented you were, Y/N.” 

“Well, you never let me show you,” Winking up at him, you held up your camera. “So, does this mean you’ll let me take your picture now?”

Nodding, Mick shot you a wink of his own and you felt a pause in your breathing as your heart skipped a beat. “I’ll think about it.” 

~~~

It was like your camera had become Mick’s favorite accessory. A week prior, he’d moan and groan and even curse at the sight of you with your little Canon camera dangling around your neck, but now his eyes were gleaming and he had the smallest smile on his face whenever you approached, camera tucked between your fingers.

You and Mick had grown particularly close over the last week. You’d sneak pictures of him chatting with Doc or fixing his hair in the dressing room mirror and you managed to get a few up close pictures of him playing guitar during soundcheck. He wouldn’t run, he wouldn’t hide. Instead, he’d flash you a wicked smile or pose with his tongue out, asking to see the pictures afterward. Mick appreciated your work the most, constantly complimenting your craft. He even offered to take a few pictures of you, and you found yourselves laughing together while editing all of the pictures.

Along with Mick’s growing fascination with your work, your feelings for him had also quickly blossomed. You spent more time with him than any of his other bandmates which only made your connection stronger. Unbeknownst to you, Mick had grown exceptionally fond of you, too. He found himself making excuses to see you, which was very unlike him.  He enjoyed your smile and the way your voice put him at ease after a long day of rehearsal, but Mick especially adored the way you would try to snap pictures of him in secret. He would always catch you in the act, and the burning redness in your cheeks was quite noticeable. 

~~~

It was two days before your birthday when Mick finally built up the courage to ask you on a proper date, but it didn’t go at all how he planned. You were struggling to deal with a slightly tipsy Nikki and Tommy in Tommy’s dressing room. All you wanted was a picture of the two of them, but getting Nikki and Tommy to cooperate, drunk that is, was proving to be an extremely difficult task. 

“Nikki, why is your makeup smeared? For fucks sake, Mick can you hold this for me?” Mick nodded as you handed him your camera, turning back to scrub the black stage paint from Nikki’s chin. Instead of standing still, Tommy had other ideas, and they weren’t good ones, either. 

“Can…can I see that?” He slurred, pointing toward your camera. 

Shaking his head, Mick held the camera away from the drunk drummer. 

“C’mon man,” Tommy whined, reaching around Mick’s body. “I just want to take a picture.” 

“Back up, drummer,” Mick said sternly. He tried cradling the camera to his chest, but it slipped out of his fingers when Tommy swatted it out of his hands. 

The whole room went silent and all eyes fell on you. Your body was frozen, your brain not fully processing that your beloved Canon was shattered in bits on the ground. 

“Y/N…I am so sorry,” Mick and Tommy said together, hearts both squeezing at the sight of fresh tears pricking the corners of your eyes. 

Bending down, you collected the camera pieces with shaky hands. The first camera you had ever bought by yourself was gone in a matter of seconds. Luckily you had backed up all the photos on your computer with a flash drive, but you would never hold your prized Canon in your hands again. 

Without a word, you dumped the broken pieces into the trash and fled the dressing room, leaving Mick, Nikki, and Tommy to exchange worried glances and uttering apologizes under their breath. 

~~~

Flipping through a camera catalog and thinking of ways to scrounge up money for a new one was not exactly how you pictured spending your birthday. You knew it was an accident on both Mick and Tommy’s end, but cameras were expensive and you didn’t have the money to afford a new one. You also spent the day wondering if you would be fired from your job. If you don’t have a camera, how can you take pictures?

You decided to take yourself out to lunch since it was your birthday and you didn’t want to spend the whole day moping around. There was a cute 80s themed diner down the street from the hotel Mötley and their crew were staying at, so you changed into something more flattering before strolling into the diner. 

You were about halfway done your lunch when you felt someone slide into the booth across from you. Glancing up from your phone, your heart clenched at Mick’s big smile, a huge gift box separating the two of you. “Happy birthday,” he said with a grin. 

“You…got me a gift?” Cheeks warming, you touched the bright blue gift box bow. 

“Of course. Open it,” Mick said eagerly, drumming his fingers on the table. 

Curious to see what he had picked out for you, you dropped your fork and placed the box in front of you, lifting the lid off and setting it on the table. You gasped audibly when you saw a brand new Canon camera lying safely in the middle of the box, heart burning in your chest. 

“I wanted to make it up to you,” Mick started, sliding his hand atop yours. “I felt horrible about what happened.” 

“Mick, this is so thoughtful. Thank you.” Wiping a tear from your eye, you squeezed his hand. “It is so beautiful.” 

“Besides,” Mick said, shrugging nonchalantly. “My girlfriend deserves at least one gift on her birthday.” 

You froze. “Girlfriend?” 

Mick nodded, the slightest faint of a smile ghosting his lips. “Well, I’d like you to be.” 

Grinning, you squealed and squeezed into the booth beside Mick, pressing a loving kiss to his cheek. “I’d love nothing more, Mick Mars.” 

“Now then,” he said, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. “Since we’re dating,” Mick eyed your plate, wiggling his brows. “Can I have a bite of that?” 

[mo-ondial]

GUYS IM STILL FUCKING SCREAMIMG OVER HTTYD 3

i just. ah. AHH.!!..,??? !!! !!!! !!!!! czthgjbctigfyhxfuvchgxdyibgyub

i was eight when the first movie came out and i watched it so many fucking times, like. remember the guy that watched shrek in his head? I DID THAT. I KNEW EVERY LINE. I WOULD BE BORED SOMETIME AND JYST BE LIKE. where’d i press pause last time? oh RIGHT it was here, and i would continue. i had a piece of paper that had an order of which scenes went where and with that i could pull every scene out of my memory to watch. it was like a party trick, one time my father was like “hey come here” and he asked me to recite httyd and you fucking bet im like this. is berk. its twelve days north of hopeless and a few degrees south of freezing to death… another time hes just like “skip to scene 3” and fuck yea my eight year old ass goes ugh, the gods hate me. some people lose their knife in the mud... i drew shitty fanart. made up wild fanfiction in my head about elemental dragons. my FRIENDS were a part of my dragon stories i made up. i worked for WEEKS hand-sewing a stuffed toothless, with toothpick bones and attention to detail and i had an invisible pen with the light at the end that i put into it so that it would glow like he was shooting fire. i was fucking wild.

and then the series??? was amazing. i watched it every week. i NEVER let my parents delete it off the dvr. im not much of a tv person but i watched every episode so many times. the writing wasnt nearly as good but there was no stopping me i will stand behind the show with my life. remember heather?? heather was SO GOOD. 

now is when im really filling sketchbooks with dragons. i made and astrid cosplay, i made the bird skulls out of salt dough and accessories out of tin foil and took the time to crochet and wig that looked like a hat. 

and dont forget those specials... they were even worse i loved them.  and then??? the second movie and i was dying. there were so many episodes about stoic and he just.. i .. im .. no. not allowed. remember thornado??? gold. i was NOT ready. and his mom is?? wow. and?? hes OLD like, what???

small side track the second movie was when i got a toothless buildabear. now. i REALLY fucking wanted this thing for my ninth birthday when the first movie came out. and my sister told me that i was going to to get it!! wow!! so excited!! she said that they already got it and it was waiting in the basement for my birthday. turns out that wasnt true and i was sad that i didnt get one. they went out of stock and i didnt get my toothless because i dont like... say anything. really. so im telling this to my mom and she had no idea so you know what fucking happens when the second movie comes out and buildabear toothless is back? im fucking driving across town and accross ANOTHER town (our buildabear closed since) and marched into that shop full of children and i got myself the toothless that i wanted for seven years. he is bEAUTIFUL and VERY HUGGABLE. anyways

and then my sister and i are in my grandma’s guest bed over christmas and were going to watch netflix together and she’s just like “oh look theres a dragon thing?” oh word they got riders of berk on netflix? WAIT WHAT IS THIS

and then there was RACE TO THE EDGE and it was FANTASTIC! whenever a new season came out, always by total fucking surprise to me because the timing was kinda random and i never figured out where they announce releases, i spend a weekend watching everything and have a little dragon phase all over again because. theyre just. so good. starts out with hiccup... he’s gotta explore. its just his nature to explore and invent and do it all with his friends. and now he CAN and its just... wow. fuck. AND HEATHER CAME BACK I LOVE HEATHER!!! SHE WAS A MAIN CHARACTER FOR LIKE PRACTICALLY A WHOLE SEASON!!!! but she had to be alone again... what a girl. and that was a lot yall. six seasons is. a lot. so much more to explore and everyone changed so much and then just... the ending. the ENDING!!! you see alvin, ah, yes, remember alvin??? and POOR STOIC!!! the mourning we were missing from the second movie before it even happened... hiccups realizing his loyalty to berk is versus his need to explore. hes like his awesome hermit mom but hes also like his stubborn loyal dad. and i just CANT BELEIVE they. burned the dragon eye. that was it, that was the start to it all... how do you burn all of that amazing INFORMATION. all of it gone, because their enemies cant get their shit together. that was the end of exploring. the kids were growing up. they left the edge and thats just... its the edge. thats their home. how can you do this. fuck, it really is over. i cant get over it. 

and. now. the. THIRD MOVIE????? i went in fucking hiccup clothes, buildabear toothless in hand, and wow. okay so at first i was like “why u gotta give toothless a girlfriend? unnecesary” but it was actually perfect... she was wild. she represented toothless’ wild roots and that he had to return to it, he had a responsibility as the new alpha. next to eachother you really see how much toothless is just... domestic. with the narrowed eyes like first movie toothless, like... wow. WOW. yall remember the gift of the night fury and the isle of night and all of that about toothless having no one like him, but hiccup had no one like him so they were together. but hiccup did have people that were like him, people there for him, and toothless found people like him too...

and they referenced the show !!!! fishlegs made a dragon trading card the fucking nerd... you see all the dragons from drob and rtte!! smothering smokebreath was in one! we saw fireworm dragons! the glowing algae from the flightmare episode! and did you see hiccup’s toy!!! hiccup had his stuffed dragon in the flashback!!!! the one from his mother, the one that he was afraid of that years later trader (read:traitor) johan found in a fishing net! tuffnut said he’d been to two weddings. guys. he has. that one he mentioned where he got officiated and then when he officiated fishlegs and ruffnut’s accidental wedding. not to mention. RUFFNUT! holy fuck i loved that monolougue. i hate when ruffnut is treated as just an accesory to tuffnut and i was so happy to see this perfect scene, so perfectly ruffnut and totally herself and not to mention HILAIRIOUS. 

im just. fuck. FUCKKK!!!!! FUCK!! theyve been through so much... toothless was a part of his LIFE! without toothless hiccup wouldn’t be hiccup. without hiccup toothless wouldn’t be toothless. but people have to grow up. and that’s really the saddest part. toothless is now immortalized as a childhood dragon. it was a perfect, incredible, amazing childhood and absolutely everything became a piece of what hiccup became. he isn’t a kid anymore. hiccup is someone else. hiccup is someone who has a history, a past he might mention once of twice... of a different boy. someone who was a kid. a kid who loved his dragon and loved all dragons and all he wanted was to invent and to learn and to know and to connect people and make peace and save everyone and make a utopia. 

but now its over and im crying 

[bethesdaglitch]

1-70 do em all! 😁💙

I’m seriously so sorry this took so long, but it was so much fun!! thank you!!! Also it’s super long so I’m gonna put it under a readmore!

1. First game you played obsessively?

Jak & Daxter! 2. A game that has influenced you creatively? Writing, drawing, etc.Lmao I’m not exactly a creative person, but when I was little I tried coming up with and drawing my own pokemon. They were… bad3. Who did you play with as a kid?My brother! At first I stole his Gameboy Color whenever he wasn’t using it, but then he saved up and bought a PS2 so we could play games together4. Who do you play with now?No one really lol. I kinda prefer to play single-player games now? But I’ll play with various friends when we hang out.5. Ever use cheat codes?When I was little, yeah! Especially in the Sly Raccoon games 6. Ever buy strategy guides?Before the age of unlimited free online strategy guides I did, now I just use said online ones7. Any games you have multiple copies of?Yep, I’ve “lost” games only to find them again after replacing them like… four times? It happened with Oblivion, Fable 3, DA: Origins, and, weirdly enough, that one obscure (but fun imo!) wii game, Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Moon8. Rarest/Most expensive game in your collection?This one was hard! After a teeny bit of research, I narrowed it down to either Rule of Rose, LoZ Collector’s Edition on Gamecube, and pokemon red and yellow9. Most regrettable purchase?Hhhhhhhh I bought the video game for the 2006 Dreamworks movie Over the Hedge. I was only 12, but I still should’ve known better :(10. Ever go to a midnight game release or stand in line for hours?I’ve gone to a few midnight releases, but none that have lasted for hours, luckily. I only started going to them in the last few years, so the only ones I’ve been to so far are Fallout 4, DA:I and uh… ME:A (I KNOW)11. Have you ever made new friends from playing video games?Nah not really, I don’t play online games, so. I have friends who play video games, but I’ve never met someone BECAUSE of video games12. Ever get picked on for liking games?Lol no?13. A game you’ve never played that everyone else has?Overwatch14. Favorite game music?NIER, hands down. 15. If it was a requirement to get a game related tattoo, what would you pick?Probably something cute and harmless like the leaf from Animal Crossing lol16. Favorite game to play with your friends IRL?Lately we’ve been really into Towerfall: Ascension and Screencheat17. Ever lose a friend over a game?Wh—no????18. Would you date someone that hates gaming?So long as they didn’t try to “forbid” me from playing and so long as we had other interests to bond over, then sure. It’d be kind of a bummer though lol19. Favorite handheld console?Idk that I have one! Maybe the Switch, since that’s the most recent and popular?20. Game that you know like the back of your hand?Silent Hill 3 and DA:I21. Game that you didn’t like or understand as a kid but love now?The Civilization games22. Do you wear game related clothing/accessories?Sometimes, yeah. Nothing too embarrassing, though. 23. The game that you’ve logged the most hours into?What, like… ever?? Geez, I dunno… probably Oblivion?24. First Pokemon game?Yellow!25. Were you ever an arcade game player?I actually wasn’t really :/26. Ever form any gaming rivalries?Oh yeah, with my brother. He’s 6 years older than me, which pretty much guaranteed I got my ass kicked in every game we played when I was younger27. Game that makes you rage?Bloodborne and Dark Souls!!!!!! I swear I try to go back and play them at least once a year, and I can never get past the first hour :(28. Ever play in a tournament?Not like an official one, but ones with friends, yep29. What is your gaming set up?Imma be real with you chief I don’t know nearly enough about computers to answer this question with anything other than “a computer”30. How many consoles do you own?Ohohoho far too many31. Does the 3DS and/or Virtual Boy hurt your eyes or give you headaches?I’ve never had the 3D slider up long enough to tell, but that probably means yes lol32. Did you ever play a game based on your favorite show/cartoon/movie/comic?BOY when I was in first grade I played Spongebob: Supersponge on Gameboy advance so much I STILL remember the password that lets you skip to the final stage (it’s WMBT) 33. Did you ever have any bootleg games or plug-n-play games?nah 34. Do either of your parents play video games?PFFF GOD NO. Although my mom does love Animal Crossing. Not playing it, but just like it’s whole deal. 35. Ever work in a game store? Or do you have a favorite game shop?No and no, tbh36. Have you ever shed actual blood, sweat or tears over a game?I… don’t think so? Maybe I’ve cried over a game, but blood?? Put the controller down, y’all37. Have you played E.T. for the Atari 2600? Do you think that’s the worst game ever, or do you have another nomination?NO NO NO OVER THE HEDGE (2006) FOR THE PS2 IS THE SINGLE WORST GAME EVER MADE FIGHT ME ON THIS38. A game you’re ashamed to admit that you like?Oh lord… idk if anyone’s ever played any of Ambition’s dating sims (Dream Girlfriend, Dream Boyfriend, Animal Boyfriend, and Moe Can Change) but I’ve literally been playing them for about… 5-ish years now? They’re seriously the worst, I fucking love them 39. A sequel that you would die for them to make?Hmm… Maybe a new Kingdoms of Amalur game would be cool? 40. What to you think of virtual reality headsets or motion controls?I love VR but the last time I tried it at a friend’s place I fucking faceplanted after leaning on a counter I forgot was also virtual and the first thing my friend asked was whether the headset was ok, so that stung. As for motion controls, they’re fun but they can be a real pain41. A genre that you just can’t get into?Sports games 42. Maybe it wasn’t your first game, but what was the game that started you on your path to nerdiness?The path to what43. Ever play games when you really should have been concentrating on something else?Oh yeah, who hasn’t?44. Arcade machine that has consumed the most of your quarters?Idk if this counts but I am a MASTER at the claw machine and that stacker game. My closet is full of useless shit I’ve won from those things45. How are you at Mario Kart?OH SO FUCKING GOOD YOU HAVE NO IDEA46. Do you like relaxing games like Animal Crossing or Harvest Moon?yesssss I love them47. Do you like competitive games?I mean like I said, I mostly prefer single-player games, but I do enjoy the occasional co-op game48. How long does it take your to customize your player character?about an hour49. In games where you can pick your class, do you always tend to go for the same type of character?I actually don’t! If it’s a game I’m not confident I’ll be good at, I pick whichever class is recommended for beginners, and that changes from game to game. Alternatively, I just go through phases where I prefer a specific class above others 50. If you were a game designer, what masterpiece would you create?Christ I have no idea. Maybe a first-person escape game? idk51. Have you ever played a game for so long that you forgot to eat or sleep?NO?? DAMN ARE Y’ALL OK????52. A game that you begged your parents for as a kid?Literally any M game; my parents were strictly “No M games until you’re old enough!” I just got my brother to buy them most of the time though lol53. What’s your opinion on DLC these days?Most DLC is fine, it’s microtransactions in “pay-to-win” games that I fucking hate. 54. Do you give in to Steam sales?HAHAHAHAHA yeah absolutely 55. Did you ever make someone you hated in the Sims and did mean stuff to them?N-No??? 56. Did you ever play Roller Coaster Tycoon and kill off your guests?Ok yeah I did do that 57. Did you ever play a game to 100% or get all of the achievements?Ew no58. If you can only play 3 games for the rest of your life, which ones do you pick?Ooooh… ok, Oblivion, My Time in Portia, and Divinity 259. Do you play any cell phone games?I do! I play a lot of escape games, and uh… the Ambition games mentioned previously60. Do you know the Konami Code?Is that the up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right-B-A? Huh, I never knew it had a name!61. Do you trade in your games or keep them forever?I used to trade them in occasionally, but mostly I keep them 62. Ever buy a console specifically to play one game?Yeah the Switch for BotW. Not proud of it, but it was worth it63. Ever go to a gaming convention or tournament? nah64. Ever make a TV or monitor purchase based on what would be best for gaming?Yep! 65. Ever have a Game Genie, Game Shark or Action Replay? Did it ever mess up your game’s save file?OHHHH MY GOD YEAH, I’M STILL FUCKING PISSED ABOUT IT. I had GameShark for Gameboy and PS2, but that one was fine, it didn’t cause any problems. It was ACTION FUCKING REPLAY that fucked me over. I used it for KH2 and it worked the whole time until literally THE VERY LAST XEMNAS FIGHT, when my HP bar suddenly dropped to 1??? Not my HP, mind you, the HP BAR. Meaning 1 HP was the most I could have. Literally fuck action replay >:( 66. Did you ever have have an old Nokia with Snake on it?nope67. Do you have a happy gaming-related childhood memory you want to share?I do! The very first thing I ever saved up money for to buy myself was Pokemon Crystal version. Until then I’d just been borrowing (re:stealing) my brother’s, but when I was 5 and Crystal was about to come out, my parents made me a deal that if I saved up $15, they’d pay the other $15 and I could get it! It was the first time I was working towards a fun goal, so it was all pretty exciting for 5-year-old me lol. It’s dumb, I know, but it’s something I look back on fondly68. Ever save up a ton of tickets in an arcade to get something cool?Lol nah, I think the best thing I ever got with tickets was a cheap snowglobe 69. In your opinion, best game ever made? UHHHH GOD. That’s… super tough. I’m genuinely not sure I have an answer tbh. I’m really into Divinity 2 right now but best game ever made?? Idk! that’s a hard one!!!! 70. Very first game you ever beat? I won’t lie, it was Spongebob: Supersponge on GBA

[throwingideasatthewall]

The Clone Wars    Senate Murders

          (Season 2 Episode 15)

Ack      ....  So     are     we    going     to    address     the     guy      that    got     killed?      . .      Oh      This   is a new one       . . .         Oh       No       . . .        The        Bab        ies        -      Will       Only    Pro     Long

  Oh good

 [I was worried      I was going to have to pull out  The old   “Amidala kills children,”      Thing,]

   Any way,      That’s            Good        I like        babies not getting         hurt,         [Cute things in      general]    

      Oof           That’s           Not-

     [pretty sure       that’s the            point]

       Whelp

Well I have teased       Amidala pretty       unmercifully,      Regarding       That        Episode,        I do    still give her       a bit of slack          (Age    appropriate)       Because she still    has a chance to        un-feck the situation      [In the       story]

 Least we know    it      isn’t her getting   poison      ed this time,

 Oh,   never     mind,

That actually    did   apparently   help     (slightly)     (in the   unaccountable)        (Slightly           less       toxicity          in         air)

     Smooth

      Hold             Up           Wait,          Wasn’t              Ready           (Sus             Pect-           Ing-       Animation           That       smooth,

      I          think that was      Sa-        tine          -            Good         ref      (erence)          Picking       up        right       where       he      left        off  

   C-3PO

   Nice

  Whelp

-Windows        -

   Okay,        Minor        Issue?

  ?

  Oh it’s a whole bunch of them

   That’s nice-

      Senator            Stonk

“what will the public think   if I don’t want to make child soldiers,?”

     -Boomer

    (Probably)

   “But he wants to know    how very sorry he is,”

    Haha

      That   is the correct tone

  “Sorry-��

   Sorry doesn’t get you anything

   It’s an attempt to control the     narr-     ative

And    nothing else

 (If you screw up just      fix the problem     don’t keep dragging the tox,”

   Votes

  That’s nice

This is a very non-toxic         healthy tea

  (I know he’s kind of assuming authority          here

    But they   seem to be pretty close friends-

   Who are covered under the friend-      ship rules

“ A.k.a. not doing it to a random stranger who doesn’t like it,”

 Good rule

Oh God      It’s        

THAT

fucker..  

   ?

With the line about   convincing     other people of good?

I-

 Nope-

Note; this isn’t an official X

 It’s just a show my venomous   hatred of this guy..

And the episode he   Spawned    from

 Which was the first one to     earn a strike from me...

For normalizing    abuse...

With that in mind I give this episode the benefit of the     doubt...

  Even with that     concerning opening line

  So I will acknowledge I am slightly doubtful

 [not quite   putting on the   SWAT gear,    maybe just     a bat]

With that-     in mind- let’s continue...

... .

Mistakes       ...     

Em-     That at least counts as   one tox

Bring up the previous   things you did wrong     does not fix it

It’s guilt tripping

And an attempt to get the other party to validate   your toxicity

Dude’s      Towing..

Just after a joke   about how sorry doesn’t do anything

I hope the writers can see the irony in that

(Utilize          It)

  Peace         -         Dick

  Ah

   Hey-

[Repeat generations/friends can be friends with older     members,      just      Weird,]         -        Any       ,Way-

  Aight

  Ni’     gh    t’

 Ah- did they skip over to it or they   going?

“exciting isn’t quite the word   I would use,”

Toxic,     authority assuming,     enabling,

Authority assume     is not ok  regardless of what generation you   are

[Dude’s going to be a Traitor,        Isn’t he?

  They focused on him

  Might be actually a good bit of tension    if he didn’t      (Former   Separatist)

Terri-fying

Yeah surrounded by a bunch of toxic boomers   who will   feel free.    To be as doubting       distrustful.    negative     and overall unhelpful

As you allow

And they feel like pushing the   boundary...

Mind

Or-     gana

Dick move

It’s her     personal opinion       -      and it ain’t   tox?

People can have   dislikes

Not like she called you an   Overinvolved boomer       —        or held you to any   accountability       (Yet)          ...    

 Who order-

[This is getting really     tox

and I don’t trust the   writers           ✖️ Just   putting      it     over        there         in       case      I need it           .....

 Hm

 You

 ..  [Grooming        isn’t cool

 Self deprecation       isn’t either]

  Aight

  Hm

 Also there’s a process you need to go to to speak?

Money doesn’t   matter -

Killing    -      and     hatred      but       the   pacifistic        bitch        vilified

*Spoken   in  complement

She kicked     ASS   last episode

*sorry   for the vulgarity       I’m excited      . .       Also,    so is this     Padme’s episode.

 Cause        Neat.

 Good

 But are votes   casted by     clapping?

(I’m not sure)

 Okay

  Whelp

That’s     either a bad guy       or damn good red   herring

I’m intrigued

Also, whatever happened to     Clovis?

Like,      he still a        senator?

He get   kicked?

Uhm

Dude,

 False   appreciation

Also yeah     what was with that dude       earlier?

[Uncle what’s his name apologize to him for Padme’s comment despite Uncle what’s his name being the one who made it, implying dude took a serious issue with it,]

Also,   Oo, is this working of the previous quote about the line between friends and foes being blurred.

              [I like                  consistency]

So it has to be one of those guys,

The ones in the   room with her,

I’m putting a guess on   Senator-

 The one uncle       what’s- his-name         apologized to

      That guy

[Or it could be that guy that]

No actually he’s probably   abstain        ed for that reason

Sorry      I’m getting ahead          -     But it does say     “Murder,”

   And        I      am    curious        .     Really   going   over       -         Also    why   is that guy   bowing?

[Tran-slation?]

Right        .        obvious     villain       .

 Also   light bullshit..

There’s no-   way guy could’ve made it over there

The thing is still in session

We saw him less than a    minute ago

 And she just came in directly

[He’d be         halfway down the hallway]

For likely scope

Yeah, this dude is totally a     Red     Herring       -        He’s    way    too    over     the     top       ...    I’m putting my bets      On that human Senator          Guy           .       CHILD SOLDIERS      ARE BAD!       [sorry I just   felt the need to say that,]

  Okay,    Uncle-what’s his name-

Other person

 That guy-

  Drink      -ing!

  Nice

  Vi-ctory

   Oh, this looks like a problem

    Child groomers          In-       corporate-

    Off

Second Red herring!

(It’s that guy   and I’m sticking with        it)

  Private

  Yeah,  like how did he even get into the room without a key card?

  I know Amidala’s a senator and      by that,               A public      servant,         But you figure if they’re bringing out the    alcohol, they’d shut the door

   -Declare      off hours

  -For the celeb     ration-

 Separatist      Con        Spiracy-

   She has a     point-

   You did a     hundred percent enable his behavior

    (No argument            there)

      Pro- separatist

Ah, uncle back stabber there would contradict you

   Not sure if you’re the same species

But,       you do know about his bullshit,

Don’t assume accountability       free snarking             Territory           (They’re all enablers so I’m not even going to bother with the math,      About who screwed up more,          All the   elders   here are held to the same standard,       About,

 Uncle Backstabber a little more

   *Since I know what he did,

Account

From the most bastard,       of the group,

Who’s the next Red herring?

It’s that dude     I swear      Soon

Yeah child soldiering is a bitch

As is enabling

But she has no idea what’s going to happen     being the past.

Dick,    whelp,

Poor       Frita       (I think)

He’s going       he’s going to get roped into this too     isn’t he?

      “ We you must be doing something right,”

Nah,  enabling abusers  never a good idea

   But then again there’s no rules for dealing with trauma individuals because they aren’t supposed to be any

   How long that takes and what it entails

   Is down to who ever is        asserting accountability     (Excluding      the actual accountability, cutting      Them off)

That’s unnegotiable

(And it can’t involve   death)

Too.     harsh-

No you haven’t-

Well, yeah

But that’s     accessory at best     ... Ono you’ve done a wonderful job

No he hasn’t

Don’t coddle   the abuser

 He’s screwed up pretty consistently

 Pretty sure       it’s more than five

And was leading to let the future get     hecked         ...

 Very       Likely

He wasn’t hurt

The other lady   spent a lot more time defending

She should get the ‘don’t listen to them’

If anything just    ‘reflect the bitch’          (Neutral)          Aight    

     Too          Late!

      Can someone stop      playing the sad music?

      This isn’t sad

     And you can’t make me       sympathize for the abuser

   (I- don’t trust this     writer)

    That Dude sus

    Aight

  Faker-

He’s dying you        dumb ass

(Having a      heart attack       probably

  All the stress            of denial)

   Whelp

Call!

 Please

 Whelp

 -Oh wait      bitch is dead?

Uhm.

DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD  the WICKED WITCH IS DEAD!    

 (I know that seems really harsh-            But dude- deserved it

And I never have to deal with that character        anymore!

So,

 Al-      right       the      funeral;

 Um,

DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD  the WICKED WITCH IS DEAD!

 (I’m sorry I really hated that      character-)

* In reality      the loss of life is a very serious thing and      I don’t mean to make light of it

 But no one is required      to feel sad about their abusers-         Nor toxic individuals        Nor anyone else        Yes the loss of life is a     serious thing           But it should not             And could not         control a person’s life

I’ve always played accountability    over death          Or death   penalty           ...

“...was is a flawed man,”

  He tried to sell someone into   slavery...

  The fact that Amidala was an adult           and could get out of the situation           Doesn’t forgive        how terrible that situation was.

    Un-healthy           And        Wrong

   “Own    mistakes”

 And he tried to guilt trip everyone       into giving him validation

    Specifically           Amidala

      Every        occasion

    [Also      flawed          Some          one        breaking            the           code           once             or           twice,           (Under            five)            Is        flawed,

       This         dude          tox,  

       He should’ve been sentenced     to      accountability along time ago

    For trying to make the world      a generally terrible place for someone

    Multiple times-

  That’s not okay

   [and he clearly         didn’t learn his lesson]

    [Note; whether a person “learned their lesson” or not,            Is irrelevant

   [They already    knew the rules before]

But he never compromised his principles-

    HaHAha,

    What?

That’s because   dude didn’t have any principles

He broke them long before,

Also why the frick does Master Yoda care?

Dude    was          a      politic,

 The     Fuck,

He engaging this propaganda?

Why?

Why does he care about any of this.

Why does   ANY     one

[Satine, alright, hermen got murdered and she might be looking for evidence on who-done-it   That’s fair

?

Oh says it’s an everyone event

That makes sense

Guessing the Jedi are required   to come or else the branded as that asshole

Fair

 Eyes

Aight

What-      ever-

   ?

Why the guard?

Like cultural customs

Aren’t honor guards          for veterans      (And possibly extremely         high positions,      Like         Chancellor?

As technical commander of the army?

Like,      Explain?

That guy-

 Sus

 Very       Sus-

   Pas-         sed

    I’d say      to find his killer

     But yeah I can’t really   blame anyone for not    caring that much     about that dude

   Specifically      Amidala

(Though     accountability law..

   D

   Frita is honestly my favorite        character

   I don’t know       why.

     Possibly his relation to the           chancellor and how      he still a good natured guy,

     Aight

     Yeah     he was a dick,

Hope those aren’t memories     [also        totally the        Kamooin               B-            Right?

                    [Like                         I’m totally still after                          Dude, ]

But she’s   the only one that     touched the bottle]

That we saw?

Dude did suggest it

      Still        heavily          sussing              him                .          No           Face               .              Also       is that his wife?

     (Don’t think it was         ever established)

     I-

    Mentor

     ?

   How old is this person?

I’m gonna assume     adult

 So.

He toxically asserted   authority over me.

Or wrong choice of words and they meant like     “best friend”

 Cause that’s kind of     tox,

Me?

  - -

  This is     getting       Hella          tox

    You’re       a      person

    Yeah you might miss him   and that’s totally fine

     But-

You’re still a person completely able to   self determine.

   ‘ take his place,’

   Oh no

   Oh no

   Shit

   Just what she needs         overinvolvement 

   Right

   Not        threatening at all    

    Oh         Red           .         We        never       see      them      enter            .         Right            .            Well this turned from a private party     to a    Conference

   I thought he was just calling    to offer condolences.

   Questions.

Oh,    Did you not tell the loud ones what happened to their loved one?

  (Like normally I’m all for no one should      witness anyone else’s death          Or that news be public

   But this is assumed authority.         And that stuff is pretty normal

     Regardless       of how terrible.       Senator Fa

This guy seems like a drip

[Guessing that’s the reason why       Amidala is going to end up taking charge,]

Because      the Chancellor     hired a sham detector    Whelp

   Dick way to put it

  True, the protocol for murder          isn’t cutting and clear

   Dragging random people into it, isn’t

   You see it          you’re        immediately accountable,

      (Only by view of the body,          Not by word of mouth)

Because this kind of approach is super          in-effective,

  Whelp        Great

  Also there were thousands of       senators in that building that could screw up the thing

Only five

(I’ll give the        murder        mystery            It’s             Dues,           And           let it          continue,             But       (im-probabilit-           ies is not a good thing)

        Might              Want                    To                  Avoid

(Also     if that’s the     qualification;       I’m sussing         Amidala,          Dude      was                 a           dick           to          her)

    THOUGH              I’M STILL-         SUSS      -ING           DUDE       IN           Blue?     dude with the    beard

   That      one.

   Build-ing    <—-    He          Sus

   Him

—-

 Ha!

Here

Hey   that was almost emotion,      Nice

(also, dang how frequent are   murders?

Him

<—-

  He          Sus

   He didn’t take a seat         like everyone else

   [Also, it was purple    Dude wearing purple     that’s who I’m talking about]

Also are you going to introduce him as the     detective ?

‘cause you’re kind of   screwing with these people

Not   telling them what’s going on

Answering in vague Snark

Him.    ...

For no reason

Considering he was an uncountable toxic frick who allowed it lots of people to get hurt-

  I’m       mad,

 A ight

Right..

 And

Okay, He’s got a point

Immediate accountability     is the case murder     for good reason

Surprised they didn’t start       this right after the     murder

When it happened

Dude- [i’m not going to criticize       the spatial awareness]

Him

<—-

 Right         there

  Murder

A good point since     they really haven’t explained anything?

   Okay,         Right

Or anyone     stealthy

  Though yeah I guess    politicians

  [just don’t like the        generalization]

   Someone good        With he rbs..

  Okay.

  Neat.

  Insult.

Poor.   Frita

  He didn’t deserve     this,

(Well yeah he’s an enabler,)

But       He’s the least toxic..

[Also poor Frita,       Always       getting sucked into these mysteries

   He’s the shaggy        of this damn group

   [Likes food          and hanging out with people,          Gets dragged into      bullshit,

 Rip

Insulting     the whole damn room             .....            This character is                 obnoxious

            But in a fun way

             The narr              -atives-            clearly having fun

Ono        yeah       he   was    an   open   dick

  [Seriously they’re treating him    like-]

  ?

 No it couldn’t possibly be because he was an       ex separatist,

Open book         Case,

Con-troversial

 Politicians      arguing over basic human decency

   And common sense

    ‘Do we really.. Ok        that’s enough politic jokes

   The movie started it         so I had to finish it.

  Now on with.

      Dude drunk

     Dick

  “ I’m        totally-”

 Um, this is     delicious corruption

How long until     Amidala figures what’s going on?

  Whelp

He just     left?

   He really is a       quack

    Did you find him         on       fakedetectives.com?

     Palpatine?

    Crud

    Okay,

    That guy,

    Target

   Good

  Aight

Also it’s that guy     Authority ass-     umer sus,

  No       No,

Good plan

Ono

  Good      plan

  Evil.

  Aight

    .

  Good

In-vestigation

   Yes-       Good

    Let’s           Do           It           ...

    It’s that guy

    Him

He     -a dick

Also not to claim authority over   him

Not, not to be     cu-     rious-    -

No-pe

Authority   figures     don’t 

 He was an ass

Also yeah just     put   all the possible suspects in the room      -         That       Guy

Uhm

Ty-pho

Agana!

  That       fricker

   Onu          looked         at him         before         his death                 -             He came back last       to the party-

       He was the first             to suggest opening the drinks             -              Also the thing with the detective       and him just trying to get over as quickly as possible

        He sus,  

Aight,   

Right,       -       Don’t - get stabbed

Um-

Aight

Wha-

 Ha, such a red         herring-

 Okay-

Oh, Red herring        Co-nference

  Didn’t notice the     snake lady          (Kamoin)     Empty     Chair       -        Also     they know each other?

  Good,        evil for them,

  Fair

 Aight

Also yeah the         boomers here didn’t do it       -         More     likely someone from the Present     Gen.. . 

Theory

That      Guy..

Guy’s like damn

Like just give her your time and your place and       your alibi.

Whelp,       Aight

So I’m pretty sure if I had paid attention to the     bottles,        That wouldn’t have   matched up       ...

Yeah he was a separatist

              DAMN

    Like I saw the hand on the dock            But I thought it was an assassin        or team up

                But  

                 DAMN

                               I feel                                   verified

              Until it played music                       victory music                         Over the arrest                       of a distressed                        and less toxic                            person

*While   painting      the      toxic     person           as a        saint

                  Which I cannot                          condone

         As such;

                  it earns my most                             regretful                              strike;

Official;

   For attempting to     excuse a toxic       person’s          actions

* I want to emphasize that this is not ok, a person does not get off for un- accountable actions, simply by apologizing, never mind the fact          - that it is an attempt    to guilt-trip       Invalidate          And      Gas-    light               The       Recipient,       But also should not apply to someone that has repeatedly attempt to Gaslight, guilt trip and sell a person into slavery;         (Crossing more than five accounts)

[never mind the selectivi       ty of what it is applied        “Ano” getting away         With slavery, be        -cause he        Was “So-      rry,” gun        held to      (-near)        his       Back      While      Lolo       doesn’t     just   mummer      sorry)

         That once you commit harm              against another person.. it can                not be taken back, the victim       owes you no sympathy, no    right to their emotions, and        certainly, no un      accountability-       Forgive      Ness-      From what you have done.

   You must live with what you have        commit

   Regard        Less

[haiky-u-lously]

December 3nd: Mittens

For @haikyuusmiles I know you’ve been having a rough time lately and I am so so so sorry for that. I hope things in life turn around and that you feel more up to things. But for now, please enjoy your very one Christmas gift. [ps. I was unsure who to do so I hope you like Daichi]

Character: Daichi Sawamura

Note: This is a Soulmate AU where you meet your soulmate and all the memories or your past lives unfold before you, the two partners get different images though and they are not the same every lifetime. Enjoy!

______________________________________________________________________________

“Why i-is it-t-t-t s-s-so co-col-cold,” You stuttered, rubbing your hands together for warmth. “My fingers feel like they’re going to fall off.” You emphasized you point by shoving your hands under your best friend’s gaze, “See the tips are turning a different color!”

They just laughed at your misery. “It’s fine (F/N). Why don’t you stop in for some gloves if you’re that serious about it.”

You smiled at your friend’s intuition. “Perfect idea as always, (B/F/N). I’ll be back shortly.” You point a finger gun at your friend before scowling out, “Don’t ditch me like last time. I won’t be as forgiving.”

They just laughed and slightly pushed you towards the electronic doors of the store.

Thankfully you had been walking through the shopping district, headed to the nearby art studio to do something your friend called painting with a twist. You didn’t really know what to expect but figured it was a good excuse to hang out with them after being so busy with life. Too Bad the studio was a twenty minute walk from your apartment complex, and that’s without traffic. Let alone the fact that it was freezing and you had not had the chance to buy new winter gloves, or a hat, or a scarf...thinking about it now you were really unprepared for the winter season this year.

You made your way to the winter accessories and found the perfect pair of black leather gloves with a soft, warm fabric lining the insides. It was the last pair and just as you reached out for it, you saw another hand do the same.

The large hand wrapped around your own. You having just barely beaten the stranger’s hand to the gloves.

Before a second had passed the vision in front of your eyes changed.

A man with short, dark brown hair smiled down at you. Looking around you realized you were on a horse and the man was wearing a uniform of silver.

A flash and the scene around you changed.

You stood beside a masked figure, both of you swinging swords for your lives as you fought against a horde of giant spiders. His dark brown eyes contrasting against the bright orange of his mask.

Another flash and another new scene.

You were looking down at a man who had the same brown eyes as the masked figure before, and same dark locks from the knight on the horse. You felt tears running down your face before seeing the man smile up at you as he caressed your cheek. Watching as the light drained from his eyes, feeling the tightness in your chest grow.

More flashes came. More scenes from your past lives. You figured it out by then. You were reliving all the major points of your previous lives with your soulmate. You had met your soulmate.

The man was kneeling in front of you, the largest smile on his face despite the tears in his eyes. A ring in a box standing between you on his palm. Your past self half pushed it out of the way, half grabbed onto it, while their other hand pulled him to standing position by placing a hand on his neck. Then you were kissing him. And it felt good, it felt right.

Slowly, your sight adjusted back to the world you were currently in.

You were facing your soulmate, the dark brown of his eyes alight with life. Before you knew what was happening you were kissing him. And just like what the past you had felt, it was good, it was right. It made you feel whole.

He pulled away from you to take a breath, but held you close to his chest. You didn’t know what he had seen, maybe he was afraid you’d run away.

“Hi,” He said. Giving you a cheeky smile.

You shook your head out and returned the grin, “Hi.”

“In this life I am Sawamura Daichi, my soulmate.”

Laughing at his word choice, you decided to follow his lead, “In this life I am (L/N) (F/N).”

He winked down at you, “Guess we can skip the formalities. Huh, (F/N)?”

This boy felt like sunshine to you. Because hadn’t you just been freezing your ass off? You couldn’t tell anymore, your skin felt like it was on fire wherever he touched, despite being separated by clothes. “Guess so, Daichi.”

“I should probably let you have these to, being the gentleman that I was.”

“Oh,” You realized he was sharing about what he saw and again decided to follow his lead, “My knight in shining armour to the rescue.”

His flushing at your comment made you giggle. Teasing him will be fun.

“God, (F/N)!” You heard from behind you. You quickly spun around in Daichi’s arms, because the taller male did not move to let go of you. “What is taking you so-!” You friend cut off their tantrum upon seeing you in the arms of some guy.

They cocked their eyebrows questionably while moving to try and pull you away, in case this was unwelcomed on your part.

You quickly managed to shake your arms between your pair and your best friend, explaining, “No no no, it’s fine (B/F/N). It’s fine. This is my soulmate.” You smiled at your friend, “we just met.”

Their entire demeanor changed as their (e/c) orbs blew wide. Then they were jumping and clapping at how excited they were for you to finally have met your soulmate. (they had met theirs over a year ago, and now you two could go on double dates and it would be so much fun according to their explanation.)

You smiled sweetly at them, expecting this sort of reaction, but soon felt the slight squeeze from Daichi’s arms before they started to drop from your sides. Even the slight difference in pressure already began to feel strange and you made short work of latching your arms around his to keep them in place. “Right, so (B/F/N) I’m sorry but I would really like to get to know him more in this life. Can we re-schedule the paint thing?” You knew your friend would agree, but still felt you should show your considerate side in front of your new acquaintance.

“Well duh you baka.” They said, cutting off their excited tone. “You have to get to know your soulmate asap, that’s like 101 of soulmate meet ups. I ain’t messing with fate like that. I’m not stupid.” They quickly said goodbye, and told Daichi it was great to meet him (even though they didn’t really meet him...and they say they aren’t slow), before waving over their shoulders as they made their way out of the store.

“So,” You started, turning back to face the dark haired male, still held within his muscled arms, “what would you like to do?”

He shifted to hold you with one arm as the other moved to scratch the back of his neck. The sheepish look seemed to fit him well, but you wondered how you made him so nervous so quickly.

“Sorry, it’s just that, I’m the captain of my school’s volleyball team and we have practice in a bit,” He really looked apologetic. Probably because you just blew off your friend in front of him and now he was telling you he couldn’t do the same. “It’s just that we have a major competition coming up soon and I can’t-”

You cut off his explanation with a kiss. Pulling back, you spoke before he regained his ground, “It’s fine Daichi. I said I wanted to learn more about you. What’s a better way to do that then watch you do something you obviously love?”

His eyes bore into your own (e/c) orbs, looking for any sign of contradiction to your words. He found none.

Lifting you up and spinning you at the same time, he caused you to burst out laughing.

Settling you down, he grabbed the gloves from your hands, and then snatched a similar brown pair that you had previously ignored. “Come on, soulmate.”

You tried to grab on of the pairs of gloves but his grip was strong and you couldn’t pull them out.

He ended up buying the pairs for you and put them on for you as he led you out the door. Saying, “Man, everyone is going to be so jealous that I have a cute as pie soulmate. When they find out that you used to be royalty I swear Tanaka and Noya will flip a gasket.”

While you were shocked to hear you were once a royal, you were to busy zeroing in on the fact that his now brown gloved hand dwarfed you now black gloved hand. Yet you still felt warmth as if it wasn’t the dead of winter around you.

______________________________________________________________________________

[hopeishappinessff]

Chapter 55

After sleeping what felt like half the day away, we were both finally up and Chris seemed to be in a much better shape than he’d been earlier in the morning. He was still weak and queasy, but his headache had disappeared along with most of his dizziness. As he continued to rest in the bed watching early afternoon cartoons, I made my way to the bathroom to get ready for the day. It took me maybe twenty minutes to shower and wash my hair, and before I knew it I was dressed in an all-white strapless romper with my hair pulled up into a sleek top knot at the top of my head. By the time I walked back into the room, Chris was still lounging on his side of the bed staring at the television. “Are we just gonna sit in this room on our last day in Florida or what?” I asked with a smirk and one hand on my hip. He turned his gaze from the TV to me and slowly allowed his eyes to roam from my face down to my feet then shamelessly back up again “Nah, I was just waiting for you to finish.” “Well I’m done… you can go ahead.” He stared at me for a while, then finally sat up and eased off the side of the bed. I giggled as I watched him rid himself of his t-shirt and whip me on the back of my thighs with it on his way past me to the bathroom. While I waited for him to shower, I headed over to my suitcase to pull out my accessory bag. I plucked the silver watch he’d given me for Christmas and the matching linked heart necklace. Once all my accessories were on, I pulled out a bottle of my favorite body spray and doused myself with it. A short while later, Chris emerged from the bathroom with only a towel wrapped loosely around his midsection. I silently stared at him as he moved past me to his suitcase on the opposite side of the room. He plucked it from the ground and dropped it on his side of the bed, immediately pulling out an entire outfit for the day. My stare shifted down to his waist just as he unraveled the towel and dropped it. I couldn’t contain my smile as he stood there, naked and proud. Just as he turned to face my gawking self, I whipped my head around to focus on putting my jewelry bag away. “What?” He asked amusedly. I shook my head, refusing to turn back to face him “Nothing.” “You know, you can look if you want to. Not like you’ve never seen it before.” He chuckled. With a scoff and a playful roll of my eyes, I giggled and stood from where I sat on the floor. “Whatever… I’m gonna go wait downstairs. Can you please hurry up?” “Perhaps.” He said, smiling as he watched me walk out of the room. I’d completely forgotten about the plan the girls and I had discussed earlier this morning and was surprised when I walked downstairs and realized everyone was gone. I moved into the living room and plopped down on the largest couch directly across from the television. Scooping up the remote to the theater style television, I turned it on and began to flip aimlessly through the channels. I grew bored of channel surfing and just as I set my mind to head to the bottom of the stairs to call for Chris, I could hear the sound of his footsteps skipping down the stairs. I turned to face him and immediately bit into my bottom lip with a smirk at the sight of him in his outfit. I shut the TV off just as he walked into the room and plopped down beside me, giving me a full waft of his delicious aroma “What we getting into today?” “Well, I figured we could take it easy and go down to International Drive... something simple, you know.” I suggested. He stared at the blank screen of the TV for a moment then slowly nodded and stood up from the couch “Where everybody else at?” “Um… I don’t know. I guess they all decided to go somewhere else.” I fibbed, staring at his back as he moved away from me. He didn't respond as he continued to make his way toward the door and for that, I was thankful. I quickly slipped my feet into a pair of white and silver sandals then grabbed my cross-body bag before trailing along behind him. -- My eyes scanned excitedly over the scenery around us. The sun was starting to set and Chris and I had had been roaming around the bustling streets of Orlando for most of the day. We’d been to just about every store on the strip and we had even gone to the Wonderworks Museum and played a few serious rounds of laser tag. I was prepared to spend a nice, quiet afternoon out with him, but the moment we got into that museum that whole plan went right out the window. The museum offered six different “Wonder Zones”, a glow in the dark rope course, and a 4D Motion Theater and of course, Chris made sure to drag me around to each of the attractions like the big kid that he was. The time was nearing eight o’clock and we were now sitting in the outside patio of Bahama Breeze, a beautifully Caribbean themed restaurant in the heart of International Drive. I sat across from Chris at a table for two and enjoyed the live island tunes as a band played off in the corner of the patio. The warm wind tickled at my face and I fought the urge to stand up from my seat and jam out to the music. “You ready to go back to Richmond?” Chris asked, snatching my attention away from the music. “Honestly… not really.” I confessed with a sigh. He chuckled softly and licked his lips, reminding me in only a second of the accessory in his mouth “Why?” “Well, because. I mean… look at this place,” I said, gazing all around us, “It’s beautiful. You know, I love home… but this place is just perfect to me.” He gazed at me for a moment, nodding his head as he fiddled with the droplets of perspiration forming along the base of his cup on the table. He turned to stare out at the bustling strip just across the way from the restaurant and released a deep sigh. “Can I ask you something?” He asked suddenly. “Yeah…” I muttered. With yet another sigh, he dropped his gaze down to the ground and licked his lips once more “Besides the whole Trey bullshit, have you ever had feelings for anyone other than me?” What?” I blurted, brows furrowed to match the confusion in my tone. “Have you ever had feelings for any other nigga?” He asked with raised brows as his eyes remained glued to the ground. “No,” I answered confidently, shaking my head to emphasize my response, “I haven’t.” “What about Shad?” He asked quietly, cutting his eyes at me. My head jerked back in surprise and I stared at him as if he’d just slapped me, hoping he would burst into laughter and tell me that he was only joking… but after several seconds of silence, that laughter never came… “What about him?” “Have you ever had feelings for him? Or even thought about him like, more than a friend” “No Chris, what…” “Don’t lie to me Sy, if you have just tell me.” He blurted. “I’m not lying, at all… where are you getting this from?” He didn’t bother to respond… he only twisted his lips to one side with an attentive expression before turning his body to face me and crossing his arms down on top of the table. “If you ever broke up with me, would you stay single or just hook up with someone else… like Rashad?” “This is ridiculous Chris, I don’t plan on breaking up with you anytime soon… why are you asking me these weird questions? What’s going on?” “Did you know that nigga been feeling you for a while now?” He asked quietly. I froze in my seat and stared at him utterly dumbfounded. I couldn’t bring myself to respond to him… I could barely even bring myself to form a logical thought to make what he’d just said make sense. “Who?” I spoke just as hushed. “Shad…” “Is… is that what last night was about?” Nodding slowly, he tore his gaze away from me and slouched against the back of his seat “Yeah. He uh… he said he fucked Gabby too.” It felt like the wind had just been knocked right out of me in that exact moment. My mouth hung open with shock and I blinked slowly as I digested his confession. I knew there had to be a valid reason for him to fight his best friend, but I would have certainly never imagined this to be it. “He was just drunk you know… we all were. But Shad was so fucked up and the nigga just started going real fucking left. He looked me right in my eyes and told me he fucked that girl while I was still with her. That’s not even what had me so fucked up though… like if I woulda found out about that while we were still together, that woulda just been more of a reason for me to break up with her ass.” He chuckled humorlessly and shook his head as he stared down at those perspiring water droplets on his cup again “He was just popping off so fucking much. I knew I shoulda knocked him out. I was too soft on him… the bitch don’t even deserve to be walking around breathing right now. Talking about ‘Breezy, you stay getting them bad bitches man. The fuck your lame ass do to get a bitch as fine as Gabby? And…” He hesitated and shook his head more furiously as his jaw clenched repeatedly and his right knee began to tremble “And he said you were the baddest bitch I’ve bagged yet… and he couldn’t wait for the day when you got fed up with my crazy ass so he can ‘fuck you how you deserve to be fucked.’ My mouth flew open and I gasped harder than I intended to, nearly choking over my own breath as I stared at him, utterly stunned by what he’d just said. I barely remembered to blink as I hopped up from my chair and raced around the table to sit directly beside him. “Chris,” I started, pausing briefly to gather my thoughts, “Chris, listen… I don’t care what Rashad or anyone else says… the only people who have the power to tear this relationship apart are the two people sitting right here. You told me the night of my birthday party that you’ve been waiting to make this happen for years… well it’s here now and we cannot allow anyone to come between us. No one has the ability to make me turn my back on you, especially not Rashad. I have never been interested in him and I never will be… I promise you that. And just like I told you the other night, as long as you’re willing to give me your all then so am I… I’m not going anywhere.” His saddened eyes danced around my face, from my eyes down to my chin… he gazed at me like this was his first time ever seeing me then finally lifted his hands to place them on either side of my neck “You’re so good to me… you’re amazing.” With a smirk, I brought my hands up to clutch onto his wrists and allowed him to pull me closer and mesh his forehead against mine “I know I was drunk off my ass last night… I was completely fucked up. But I know what I said to you and I swear I’ve never said it to anyone other than my mama..." he paused to lick his lips and smirked handsomely, "… I love you.” I shut my eyes and focused on containing my sudden brewing emotions. While I sat there, eyes still shut, he leaned forward and planted his lips against mine in the sweetest way. I clung to him tightly, because I knew I never wanted this moment to end. Our kiss only lasted a few seconds longer and it was so simply perfect, I didn’t want him to pull away… but he did… and I stared him right in his beautiful eyes and beamed… “I love you too.” -- We’d been home for nearly a week and the drama between Chris and Rashad had yet to subside. It’d even went as far as an unanticipated conversation between Chris and Gabby, which eventually led to the argument of who exactly was the father of her son? Though she attempted to deny all allegations that she had anything to do with Rashad, Chris explained to her that a paternity test would be done whether she liked it or not. So when Wednesday morning arrived, I quietly climbed into the truck with Chris and rather than heading off to school, we made our way to ArcPoint Labs for the scheduled DNA test. We argued just the night before about how I had nothing to do with the entire process. I felt it both inappropriate and unnecessary for me to be there and I just knew the moment I set foot in that office, it would instantly become awkward for everyone. Chris on the other hand could care less what anyone else thought and insisted that I be there by his side. As we rode in complete silence, I could see subtle signs of his anxiety. I held onto his right hand and noticed that it was clammy to the touch. Every so often he would even inadvertently squeeze my hand and he strummed the tips of his fingers along the top of the steering wheel as he steered the truck with his left hand. “Chris.” I called out, finally breaking the silence between us. “Hmm.” He hummed, never taking his eyes off the road. “Are you okay?” I asked. I watched him as he stared out through the windshield intently with furrowed brows “Yeah… I’m good.” I continued to stare at him, but never uttered another word and soon we were pulling into the parking lot of the lab. After hopping out of the truck, we moseyed into the building and Chris immediately signed in at the front desk. I followed his lead as he turned to move into the waiting area to await the arrival of the remaining members of this party to arrive. I knew he was nervous… I had already sensed that on the way here. But as soon as I plopped down in the seat beside him, I couldn’t help but believe that perhaps my nerves were more on end than his. Though I maintained a calm and collected demeanor all morning, internally my emotions were raging out of control. It was easy to sit around and speculate all the possibilities of who could be the father of Gabby’s child. It was even easier to assume that Chris was definitely not a candidate, since the girl had been with so many other guys through the duration of their relationship it seemed nearly impossible for him to be a runner up. But just sitting there in the clinic preparing to find out the truth once and for all made the situation entirely too surreal. I breathed in a long and slow gust of air, hoping that would help with calming my nerves, but when that only ended up making me nauseous, I released a deep sigh and leaned my head over onto Chris’s shoulder. “You alright babe?” He asked quietly as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder and pressed his lips against the top of my head. I nodded but kept quiet as I shut my eyes, reciting a silent prayer that this child was not his.

[dontbeallupinmyfriesdawg]

Rescue My Heart

A/N: A repost of this story (I think) because the original version got lost after I had some issues with my tags.

Another thank you to @imaginationisagift as I believe she betaed this for me the first time.x

Summary: DC!AU in which Katherine and Elijah are Catwoman and Batman. (Includes Robin!Kol and Harley!Caroline) Major Katholine brotp and background Klaroline.

Out of all the villains in Gotham, Katherine Pierce certainly wasn't the worst; but she was definitely the best. There were some real nut jobs in this city, psychologically damaged maniacs with personal vendettas and a penchant for causing chaos. Katherine wasn't interested in all of that.

Any evil she was responsible was always a necessary evil, from her perspective, born out of a strong sense of survival instinct. So she stole a couple of things here and there; precious stones; priceless artefacts; the odd identity occasionally but she never threatened to blow up four storey buildings or dangled a school bus full of children off a bridge.

No that kind of erratic behaviour got you caught.

And Katherine Pierce did not do messy situations with the whole city as an audience with the cops surrounding you, guns poised ready to riddle you with bullets at the slightest twitch.

That's why she was currently gliding stealthily over rooftops in the dead of the night - in heels, one might add. Clad in her trademark black latex catsuit and mask. The cool air of the evening whipping past her as she streaked through the night unbeknownst to the sleeping residents of Gotham city.

Breaking into the art gallery was a piece of cake. She almost wished the idiots in charge of keeping people like her out, had bothered to get a better security system. Just to give her some kind of challenge.

She bent over, trying to disable the security door between her and the vault, that held a big, fat, ruby, Katherine hoped to get her hands on. Suddenly, there was a shuffling sound from behind her, she whirled round in the direction of the noise narrowing her green feline-like eyes and listened.

Only to get the shock of her life a second later.

"Hey there Kitty Kat!" Came a familiar and annoyingly perky voice from behind her.

Katherine turned to glare incredulously at the offending person.

"Dammit Caroline! What the hell did I tell you about sneaking up on me like that!? You were literally this close to sudden death,"

Caroline shook her head and giggled.

"Nuh ah, Kitty Kat, not with my trusty hammer around," She lifted up the weapon that had been resting on her shoulders and placed an affectionate kiss on it.

Katherine stopped and took a moment to look Caroline over. She had a red, leather jacket resting on her shoulders and a t-shirt on that said "Daddy's Little Monster" printed in cursive; an extremely poor excuse for pair shorts clung to her hips and backside; on her toned seemingly infinitely long legs, you could see a couple of tattoos printed under the mesh of her fishnets; completing the look, were a pair of black and white, heeled, lace up sneakers combined that with various accessories; skull rings, bracelets with spikes on them and of course there were her blonde curled pigtails, the ends of each dipped in a fluorescent shade of blue and pink respectively.

There was no mistaking, Caroline was strikingly gorgeous, even under the heavy clown-like makeup. In plain clothes, she was every man fantasy. In her current attire, she looked like the fantasy of a teenage boy who read way too many comic books.

"Where's your partner in crime Carebear?" Katherine asked looking around for any signs of the person in question.

Caroline tilted her head with a bemused pout, twirling the end of one of her pigtails around her finger, reminding Katherine of a confused golden retriever puppy.

"You know," She coaxed sensing Caroline's confusion "Red hair, tree hugger, shrieky voice, bat-shit crazy?"

Caroline pondered for a bit, twisting her body left and right as she contemplated. Then her face lit up in giddy realisation.

"Ohh, you mean Rory! She won't come out and play with me tonight, she's having an important meeting with Tristan, apparently," She said rolling her eyes dramatically.

Katherine made a face of disgust at the mention of the Riddler. She was certain there was something going on between himself and his sister, something that went beyond the boundaries usually drawn between siblings.

"And Klaus? Has he decided to let you off the leash tonight?" She quipped.

Caroline made the same confused face.

"Klaus never ties me up silly, not unless I've been a naughty girl," She giggled earning her an eye roll from Katherine.

Katherine was never one to get involved in other people's affairs, that lead to taking an interest in the person and eventually. Caring.

Unfortunately, for her, at this point, Caroline was much like a bad rash that no amount of ointment could clear up. For some reason, she'd decided they should be best friends (a notion she had firmly objected to, not that Caroline had taken any notice) and since then she couldn't help being a little concerned for Caroline's welfare.

Afterall Klaus Mikaelson, the green haired, psychopathic, self-proclaimed King of the city, was no one to trifle with. Many trembled at even the merest whisper of his name. It was unclear to Katherine how Caroline went from a respected psychiatrist at Arkham to playing sidekick/lover to the feared crime lord of the city.

She never went looking for problems, hence why herself and Klaus had never directly crossed paths, but based on the small - regrettable - attachment she'd made to Caroline, she'd be happy to pay 'The King' a little visit if he was hurting Caroline.

But Caroline spoke about Klaus like the sun literally shone out of his ass.

Caroline might be a little off her meds at times but she was pretty adroit when it came to using that hammer, she'd seen her in action once or twice, so surface wise anyway, Caroline didn't strike Katherine as a victim of abuse and what with the considerable amount of skin she always had on show, she probably would've spotted any bruises by now.

That didn't mean she wasn't keeping an eye out, though.

"Spare me the details cupcake," Katherine drawled, picking up the tool she'd dropped on the floor after Caroline had surprised her. "Sorry sweetie but I can't play with you tonight either, I'm busy,"

"Whatcha doin'?" Caroline sing-sang, swinging her hammer by her side and rocking on the balls of her feet.

"What's it look like?"

"You're breaking in the vault," Caroline stated the obvious before exclaiming. "Lemme help!"

"It okay Caroline, I got it,"

"Here, use this," She said before pulling an entire stick of dynamite out from her chest area.

"Holy shit!? What the hell Caroline, do you just carry that thing around with you in your fucking bra?"

"You never know when you might need it," She shrugged tossing the stick in Katherine's direction.

"Wh- no! Caroline, no explosives, no blowing things up," she exclaimed, tossing it back in Caroline’s direction.

Caroline pouted crossing her arms like a bad-tempered child.

"Why not?"

Katherine paused, pinching the bridge of her nose, realising that she wasn't going to get anywhere attempting to reason with her. Suddenly receiving an epiphany, she turned slowly and gave Caroline a devious smile.

"You know what Carebear? I'm super glad that you came here tonight, I need you to be my look out for tonight, can you do that for me?"

"Sounds boring," Caroline replied, scrunching up her nose.

"I've got a surprise for you if you do it for me,"

Caroline's eyes lit up at that.

"What kinda surprise?"

"You'll have to wait and see, won't you? You'll get it as soon as I'm done. Promise,"

"Okay Kitty Kat, you got it!" Caroline squeaked lifting her gloved hand in salute.

Katherine breathed a sigh of relief when she skipped out into the hallway quietly singing Britney Spears' ‘Oops I Did it Again’ under her breath.

She had to be quick since Caroline's presence was threatening to blow her cover. She knew it wasn't exactly fair to manipulate her like that, but she'd figure out a way to make it up to her some other time.

Now, for that ruby.

Upon cracking open the safe, Katherine reached into it with her gloved hand and picked up the stone. Even in the dim moonlight shining through the crack in the door, the stone sparkled in her hands. After admiring it for a moment she slipped it into a pouch attached to her belt.

She closed the vault re-entering the code to seal it shut. After closing the security door she was about to go out back out the way she came almost forgetting all about Caroline. She was just planning what to do with the rest of her night when...

"Aaaaargh! Bloody Hell!"

"Kaaaaatheeeriine, don't worry about giving me that surprise tonight, I already found one of my own," Came Caroline's ecstatic voice from the foyer.

Katherine contemplated just leaving like she'd planned but something inside her told her to go out, and investigate what the hell what was going on.

Katherine rounded the corner to see Caroline with her hammer poised over her head and one of her heels pressed tightly against the neck of one Kol Mikaelson.

"Look, Katherine, it's the Boy Blunder!"

The man in question sprawled rather helplessly on the floor turned his head - with some difficulty - and grinned at Katherine.

"Hello Katty,"

"Well, well, what do we have here?"

"I caught him before he even knew what hit him," Caroline beamed proudly.

"Literally," Kol grumbled.

"What do you want Kol?"

"That Ruby you've got one you for one, second I'd really love if you'd call off your guard dog here,"

There was a sharp cracking noise, as Caroline lifted her shoe from Kol's neck and slammed her hammer down onto Kol's ribcage instead.

"GARAAGHHH, give me a break you crazy bitch,"

"Careful," Caroline giggled manically " I know a certain someone who wouldn't appreciate you calling me that,"

Kol's face paled at the mention of his wayward brother but he managed to stumble to his feet clutching his ribcage and hobbling slightly. Katherine almost felt sorry for him, maybe she should bring Caroline along with her more often.

Then a realisation dawned on her.

"Where is he?"

"Who?" Kol asked now propped up against the nearby wall struggling to catch his breath.

"You know who," Katherine snapped. "The city's saviour," She sneered mockingly. "The Dark Knight. If you're here then he's not far behind somewhere,"

Kol opened his mouth to answer her, but he closed it again almost immediately, smirking at something over her shoulder.

Katherine didn't need to turn around to figure out what it was.

"Good evening Katerina,"

Katherine slowly turned taking in the sight of the tall broad shouldered figure dressed only in black.

"Thank you for having the good sense to look afraid,"

Katherine tilted her head and furrowed her brows.

"I'm not afraid, I just don't like you,"

"Well this ought to be good," Kol murmured in amusement.

"Hello Elijah," said Katherine.

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to relieve you of that item on your person,”

"Is that right?"

"Oh I'm afraid so, you see what you have in your possession doesn't appear to belong to you,"

"Well you know me, Elijah, I'm not a big fan of playing by the rules,"

"The ruby Katherine, I won't ask you again,"

Katherine made a face pretending to be contemplating, then gave him her best smile.

"If you want this from me, you can come over her and take it from me,"

Elijah gave a deep long-suffering sigh, as if Katherine’s defiance posed a horrible inconvenience for him.

"In that case, I’m afraid you leave me no choice,"

The only warning Katherine or anyone received, before experiencing what happened next, was the small flickering sound of a lighter behind her. That's when she remembered the plucky blonde in the room.

All at once there was a loud explosion; the smell of sulphur and a large purple/grey mist surrounding the area. Not missing a beat Katherine raced as quickly as her impressive legs would carry her out of the room leaving Kol and Elijah literally in her dust.

"Asta la vista boys!" Caroline yelled through the din on Katherine's heels trying to catch up.

By the time the smoke cleared both women were long gone. As Katherine escaped into the night she could hear the police sirens in the distance.

Suckers.

She'd have to remember to get Caroline a thank you gift for that little stunt.

As Elijah resigned himself into his favourite chair, in the Batcave, by the fireplace he took a sip of bourbon and let his head fall back against the chair.

"I think I'm getting too old for this,"

"Cheer up Elijah," Kol said clutching an ice pack to his side and his head with each hand. "We weren't to know Kitty-nine-lives was planning on teaming up with Klaus' nutcase bed buddy, personally, I think we should be glad it wasn't the other one with the red hair, ooh she was a right nutter,"

"Foiled again by the incomparable Katherine Pierce," Elijah muttered shaking his head bitterly.

Kol scoffed loudly.

"Are you really going to sit there and pretend you two aren't going to be cosied up in each other's arms this time next week, pretending none of this ever happened?"

When Elijah kept his face perfectly neutral Kol continued.

"Honestly, Elijah you must take me for a right idiot,"

"Well if your performance this evening is anything to go by-"

"You weren't there, she had a bloody hammer!"

"Yes I'm quite glad I wasn't, I imagine it was rather embarrassing to watch.”

Elijah stretched and rose from the chair

“I'm retiring to my room, Good night brother,"

"Sleep well Elijah, try not to think too hard about Kitty Claws in that lovely catsuit of hers,"

Elijah shot Kol one last dirty look then left the room.

"Booking for Katerina Petrova please,"

The blonde, slightly overweight woman behind the desk looked up from her crime novel to see a slim brunette woman on the other side of the desk. She wore tall stilettos, a black trench coat, a red bag and a matching red big brim hat, her green eyes hidden behind a large pair of shades. She looked like the type of suburban housewife that went out of town to have an extramarital affair with their next door neighbour. They got a lot of those types around there.

She looked up and checked his screen.

"Certainly Ms Petrova, you have yourself have a lovely stay,"

She watched the woman stroll idly toward the elevator wondering what kind of man awaited her in her room. Working the front desk wasn't the most interesting job, but observing some of the guests that came here was the highlight of the receptionist’s day.

The elevator stopped at floor 5.

Slowly Katherine walked toward the suite door and swiped the room card.

Her lover stood in the room waiting for her, clad in one of his trademark suits holding a bottle of champagne.

It was all so cliche and yet she couldn't wait to tear him out of that suit.

"Katerina," He said glancing up momentarily from pouring the drinks.

"'Lijah," She purred, then strode forward with a sudden sense of urgency, nearly knocking the bottle of out of his hand as her arms wrapped around his neck, stealing a passionate kiss from him that he enthusiastically reciprocated.

"I missed you," She said breathlessly, momentarily breaking the kiss.

Elijah leisurely began placing kisses down the creamy column of Katherine's neck.

"I'm surprised you had time to miss me, What with how busy you've been,"

Katherine rolled her eyes.

"'Lijah," She whined. " You know the rules, no talking about work,"

He chuckled. "Work? You're a glorified cat-burglar, my dear," He teased.

"And you're a billionaire, vigilante who likes to play dress up in the middle of the night with his younger brother," She shot back.

"Touche,"

"But not in here, were not those people in here,"

"Let's not fool ourselves, darling, of course, we are. Our secret identities are a part of us whether we like it or not,"

"Elijah you're ruining the moment,"

"Do you ever wish things could be different?" He asked, looking into her eyes longingly.

"Maybe in a difference place, in a different lifetime, but for now it's like you said; I am who I am and so are you. I haven't figured out a way to stop loving you yet, so until one of us does, it looks like we're pretty much stuck in this weird purgatory for the rest of our lives,"

"Would it be awfully sentimental of me to say that there's no place I'd rather be?"

"Yes," She whispered closing the gap between them again and pushing their bodies backwards onto the bed. “It would,”

When Katherine Pierce got up the next morning, she was alone.

She felt the ghost of someone's hand on her naked shoulders that morning, kisses on her neck and shoulder blades. She’d kept her eyes shut and pretended to be asleep. She didn't want to watch him leave.

It was always better that way.

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