#how did you find this obviously real lost episode???

[dropthedemiurge]

Love for Love's Sake | Messages you didn't notice #6 | Sunbae Theory

I wanted to add this to my previous post about other messages and their translation and theories (here) but it was becoming too long, so I'm posting it separetely.

Guys, I kept thinking about the fact that we never got to learn more about the meaning of these "random" messages. And then I realized I was overthinking it too much.

ALL THESE MESSAGES WERE ACTUALLY FROM MYUNGHA'S SUNBAE WHO MISSED HIM IN REAL LIFE!!!

In the final episode there's a moment when the last message shows up, and the author is finally written.

"I hope that place sparks your hope. From sunbae."

After we learn Myungha's full backstory, we now know "that place" means "afterlife". And if you look back on all the messages it MAKES SENSE, if you think that these are messages that are still coming on Myungha's phone from a friend – or, if we consider that everything is happening in Myungha's head, these are the thoughts about him by someone else.

Sunbae missed Myungha who was suddenly gone from life.

[In May, there is Children's Day, Parents' Day, there is even Teacher's Day but there is no Day when I can meet you] [I was passing by and saw a bracelet that you used to wear long time ago. It reminded me of you. I wonder if you still wear that bracelet.] [I broke a vase that was a gift from you. Can it be repaired?] [I thought only you dressed like that but others do too. I knew it wasn't you but I still followed. But why would you be dressed like that] (last sent messages) [I miss you. If only I could go there…] [Everything depends on what you'll do. Get yourself together.] [I hope that place sparks your hope. From sunbae.]

Tell me if these messages don't look like they were written by someone mourning the loss of a dear person. Someone who might be still sending messages to the number that will never reply anymore (and Myungha never did!). A chat that has become a diary of memories and longing, filled with a ghost of someone whose specific details you keep noticing in your everyday life. There is no Day when they can meet anymore. If only he could see him again...

I'm not sure about the vase but Myungha wore a bracelet in the beginning of the story (that was the first detail we notice about him tbh when he looks through the novel draft in the very first scene).

Someone else on Tumblr has expressed a theory that sunbae is a friend (or someone who loved Myungha) who decided to commemorate his friend in a written novel because they wanted to give him a happy life instead of a miserable one Myungha lived in real life.

I am so on board with this theory, (even though I like the grim reaper/deity theory or Myungha creating the world for himself), I think sunbae did exist in real life. And he obviously cared about Myungha, whether his love was to teach him a harsh lesson or to commemorate him in a meaningful story. After all, isn't this what all authors do to their characters? They make them go through conflicts and breaking points in order to overcome it all and finally find a happy ending.

Maybe sunbae has regretted that Myungha was never able to accept the love that others wanted to give him so he wrote the story to change that. Maybe sunbae is actually Yeowoon who wanted to put Myungha in his shoes and teach him how to love and be loved – actually, remember young Yeowoon, who lost Myungha due to his decision to erase himself from the game, who cried and picked up a pen to bring him back, starting a mission to make Myungha happy.

Maybe this novel is a desperate attempt to make peace and hope that someone you lost could be still loved at last.

No matter what, Sunbae was surely grieving Myungha.

[firstkanaphans]

Hello Sarah sorry to bother you. I'm a new fan kinda but I'm done with watching all the firstkhao dramas (together and individual) but tbh I'm kinda lost on how I will get to know them better. I have no idea about their irl personalities that much. Maybe you can give a little introduction for me if it's not too much of a bother? Also like how they met and why are they doing so many projects together? And are they good friends irl too (my friend told me a lot of time pair actors don't really get along with each other which is why I got curious about their dynamic) Sorry if these questions are a bit dumb I'm altogether very new in bl fandoms so don't have a lot of ideas.

Oh, Anon. I don’t think you know what you’ve signed up for here. If you want a FK primer, I can give you a FK primer!

Both First and Khaotung started working for GMMTV back in 2018. I’m pretty sure talent agents simply slid into their DMs, so there was no formal audition process, but I could be wrong about that. They were both in university at the time. I’m not quite sure what they were doing that attracted the attention of the talent agents. I know First had been in at least one commercial prior, but I don’t believe Khaotung had done any acting. He had, however, had a picture go viral because he’s just so stinkin’ adorable. I think maybe this one? 

Or it could have been one of these…

Either way, they ended up in an acting workshop together right after they joined. Khaotung talks about how he didn’t like First at first because he was too friendly and talkative, but I think that must have only lasted for like a day because it was during this same workshop where he discovered that his heart beats to the sound of First’s name—“FirFirFir”—and yes, that is a real thing that he has admitted out loud on multiple occasions. They have been best friends ever since.

From there, the two of them began to act in individual projects—mostly BLs—and although I have no proof of this, I am entirely convinced that they were playing a long con to get themselves partnered together. They did way more fanservice before they were partnered than they do now. Feel free to watch this live from 2020 where they alternate between staring lovingly in each other's eyes and just outright flirting for an hour straight.

Look, they’re smart boys. They knew that their best path to success in this industry was to be in a fixed pair and they wanted that pair to be each other. How do I know? Because these two adorable idiots were showing up to events in matching outfits.

This picture was taken in January 2021 when Tonhon Chonlatee was actively airing! There's a picture from this same event of them with Podd, who Khao was paired with, and Podd looks like the odd man out.

They were finally paired together for The Eclipse in 2022 and spent the entire press tour either talking about how excited they were to finally work together or crying about the possibility that they might never be able to work together again. I would highly recommend you watch The Eclipse special episode if you haven’t already. In it, First talks about how there was one scene where Khao wasn’t supposed to cry but he kept crying anyway because First was crying and he cared about First so much. 

And speaking of crying, if you want to watch a compilation of FK crying about how much they love each other (and other things!), you can find that here.

One thing I would recommend if you want to get to know FK better is to watch a bit of Safehouse Season 4. It’s unscripted, so you’ll get a sense of their personalities, but First was also in an arm cast at the time, so you’ll get to watch Khao dote on him for seven days straight.

Oh and you have to watch this! If you ever see people talking about the voices in First’s head, that's why.

Obviously, we can never truly know what goes on behind closed doors for any of these BL couples, but I feel pretty confident in saying that FirstKhao are genuine besties. They literally do everything together. You can find a collection of some of their lovestagram pics here although there are so many more now. It never stops.

Actual things they have said to each other un-prompted:

First to Khao: I want to build a house with the same fences as you.

Khao to First: As you grow up, you will meet many new friends. Leave them and stay with me.

I’m wracking my brain for anything else that feels important for a new fan to know and am coming up blank, but I’m sure I’ll probably think of something right after I post this. They’re both just super sweet individuals who have never been involved in any controversy and I think what people love most about them is just how much they care about each other. They’ve got that whole platonic soulmate thing going on and we're all super jealous.

[markantonys]

i'd watched the first 2 episodes of ROP s1 when they first came out, but i found them boring and so didn't continue. however, i've been hearing that charlie vickers is eating and leaving no crumbs in the new season, and that is my sweet boy guglielmo pazzi from i medici (2019) and i've Got to see him killing it in a huge role, i'm so proud of him!!! always a delight when a previously-unknown actor from an obscure show you love ends up making it big

so i decided to give it another shot and dove straight into 1x03 after reading a summary of the first 2 eps to refresh my memory, and idk if 1x03 really is that much more interesting than 1&2 or if it's just that i happen to be in a different frame of mind now that's more predisposed to getting interested in this show, but WOW i am loving it!! i'm an extremely casual LOTR fan (in fact i wouldn't even rightfully call myself a fan, more just "i've watched the movies a few times and like them" haha) and so whatever complaints the fans have about ROP obviously are not things that bother me. i'm just here for a good time, and i'm having one!

the galadriel & halbrand plotline is definitely my favorite (heck, if the numenor stuff had arrived in ep2 instead of 3 i might've been on board with the show the first time around). i already know he's sauron, of course, so i was like "i won't get attached to halbrand since he's not a real person, just sauron's disguise" but fuck, i'm attached, and it hurts!!!!! loving a character who starts out good and turns to the dark is one type of pain, but loving a character who was never real at all because they were evil the whole time and this "character" was never anything more than a facade - it's an entirely different and perhaps even worse type of pain! i can't even soothe myself imagining an AU where halbrand never turned evil, because halbrand was never real! genuinely in immense anguish over this. but once i reach s2 and get to the Unabashedly Evil Sauron Era, it'll be so sexy that i might immediately go "oh no! anyway" and forget all about my anguish jdkjfg

............wait a moment. do i now know how show!rand must be feeling post-s2? attached to someone who was never real because they were always just an evil person's fake persona? oh rand honey i'm even sorrier for you now!

speaking of WOT, it really has broken my brain because i try to polyship everything all the time nowadays. why did i go "wake up babe new polycule just dropped" during that scene when galadriel, halbrand, and miriel had a meeting lmao girl you KNOW this bitch is sauron! but i already knew people were shipping him and galadriel, so i went in to my new watch expecting to see the vibes, and indeed seeing them, and i ALSO unexpectedly saw vibes for galadriel and miriel (two leaders overburdened by duty, oh it's my kryptonite), so how can i help creating a polycule? oh well, i'll enjoy it while it lasts and then once galadriel finds out he's sauron i will instead get some angst to enjoy! and she will still have her girlfriend to comfort her (as long as nothing happens to miriel.........i haven't heard any spoilers about her, so we shall see!)

back to halbrand, the "he's the lost king of the southlands" idea is such a clever misdirect because it allows halbrand to demonstrate unusual skills in combat/diplomacy/manipulation that we wouldn't expect a seeming peasant to have, but provides a cover for it and so we think this one "identity reveal" is all there is to it, and aren't suspecting a second, bigger identity reveal! and actually, as far as i can remember, he never actually confirms that he's the lost king, he just plants a clue to lead galadriel to believe it and then responds to her assumptions in ways that seem to confirm them but don't actually. very aes sedai of him! and hey, if the southlands used to serve sauron, wouldn't it technically be accurate for him to be considered their lost king? very aes sedai of him x2. liars who lie without technically lying are the best kind (gen from the queen's thief also). anyway, because of this misdirect, i don't think i'd be suspecting him of being sauron at all at this point if i didn't already know. on the other hand, there aren't really any other sauron candidates except adar who clearly isn't him. but back to the first hand, the show never set up a "one of our major characters is sauron, who is it?" mystery so i might just be assuming he was hanging out offscreen yet to show up, if i didn't already know.

i'm enjoying the other plotlines too! i remember feeling that the hobbits & the stranger plotline was the weakest link in the first 2 eps, but totally changed my tune now, nori and the stranger (who i'm guessing is gandalf, but i'm not sure, so don't tell me if you know) have the most wholesome friendship, i could die!!

or rather, the second most wholesome friendship after elrond and durin, which i remember was my favorite storyline the first time around. they are so pure!! and disa is a delight! she and elrond have impeccable sibling-spouse energy (yes we've got another polyship in the house, of course we do)

i'm trying not to get too attached to bronwyn because i know they kill her off between seasons due to the actress leaving the show, but i really like her :(( her son's kinda annoying, but he's an angsty teen, so i can't hold it against him. and arondir!! what a man, i'm swooning constantly over everything he says and does. i really like how in the most recent episode i watched they had a Good Guy (bronwyn) genuinely consider giving up her principles of honor and going to swear fealty to the bad guys in order to survive, it feels more realistic and it really sells us on just how desperate and hopeless the situation is (and on how sauron is able to get supporters by creating such situations).

it's also a visually gorgeous show, very decadent (i was practically drooling the first time they showed numenor haha i love white stone seaside cities, and the ancient greek aesthetic vibes are the cherry on top!), and the MUSIC!!!!! you guys know i'm a tv soundtrack fanatic, and my god, this is the best tv soundtrack i've heard in a LONG time. i'd put it as second to WOT because it's traditional fantasy orchestra whereas WOT's soundscape is so different and unique. but "traditional fantasy orchestra" isn't a knock here, because it's done INCREDIBLY well, so it does feel unique instead of generic like other, lesser Traditional Fantasy Orchestra soundtracks do. it's sumptuous, it's lush, it's rich, it's got very distinctive Themes for each character/location that always play in the appropriate contexts (which is one of my favorite aspects of WOT's soundtrack too). i'd been listening to the s1 soundtrack for quite a while before now, so i'm well-primed to recognize all the different themes!

my favorite has gotta be the halbrand theme, i have a character in my WIP who's a sad mountain prince (and a gawyn knockoff <3) and this theme just reminds me sooooo much of him, i cry. but if we dispense with the halbrand pretense after s1, we might not get to hear this theme anymore!!!! it's also the southlands theme, though, so hopefully we'll keep it, and i did hear it crop up briefly in a track from the s2 album. also, shoutout to the fact that the halbrand melody is an inverse of the sauron melody, bear mccreary you son of a gun (the sauron theme is another one of my favorites, the first time i heard it i assumed it was his theme from the original movies because it just had the feel of an Iconic Villain Theme, but no, it's new to ROP!)

anyway! i've watched up through 1x05 now. pacing's definitely still a bit slow, but i'm enjoying it nonetheless, and it's picking up now that galadriel & co are headed for the southlands. and i've heard that s2 is a big step up in many respects (a la WOT s2), so i'm excited to get there!

[glitched-lemonz]

So who wants to hear me be autistic about the new helluva boss episode? Well, cas said it would bomb on here so I'm gonna do it for funnsies and break down blitzø's character because why not!

So this is obviously spoilers for episode 7 season 3 (?) of helluva boss sorry I'm high /j

But anyway scroll down if ur interested :3

So in the beginning of the episode we see blitz trying to actually have a conversation with stolas and I think the best part about blitzø's character is that unlike other characters that are given a personality like his, he doesn't go out of character. Most characters like him, characters who convince themselves that they cannot be loved and think they should not give love due to their past and/or mindsets, usually are tempted to show emotion in situations like the one with stolas. What I mean is, when blitzø was discussing how he felt with stolas he still didn't break and actually explain how he felt, he wasn't mis characterized. And how that personality/mindset works is that the character won't understand their own feelings or wake up from the blindness of not being loved or unable to love until something opens their eyes to it. And in blitzø's case, he isn't rushed into trusting stolas. When stolas confesses his love blitzø's character doesn't break, instead he continues to reflect and deny stolas' actual love and continue to believe that it does not exist. This situation happening the way it did; shows that blitzø's character wasn't mis characterized for once and was actually kept how it was intended unlike most media characters I've seen who are supposed to have this mindset.

Now here's the best part;

Blitzø is a character who won't change, he can't change, it's just who he is. And that's what he thinks until he's hit by that wave of character development, but his character development isn't a course of events or something hurting him or loving him, his character development IS stolas. Blitzø doesn't notice that he needs to change until he finds out he's actually losing something, someone, and that's the kicker. Blitzø's character here is still kept, how? Well, blitzø is selfish. He believes he doesn't deserve love and that others don't deserve his because of events that have happened in his past, how would blitzø react if he lost something, or in this case someone, that he has used and one day lost? It would break him. And that's where his character breaks, not too fast not too slow, his character is well-written. He doesn't notice what he's lost until he's lost it, does that bother him? Yes but he's not gonna show it. Until it's gotten so bad that he is forced to show it and that's his character. "Stolas I don't love you." Only to see him crying his eyes out and getting jealous over another man who is without stolas, it's not denial. He KNOWS he is AWARE that he cares for stolas, but is he gonna show it? No. And that's where his character stands. Double sided pinning but one won't give and that destroys the relationship and blitzø knows it's his fault, he plays it off like he doesn't care but if he didn't care why would he be getting drunk over stolas and crying himself to sleep at night? Or getting jealous when other men get with him? He doesn't just care about sex with stolas he uses that to hide his real feelings because it's EASIER. He's not an angel, he's obviously an imp (pun intended) and he isn't going to push the limits of going through the hard ways if he doesn't have to. But this; this new episode shows the START not process, THE START of his character development. His official genuine character development and that's where his character stands.

(Thank u for ur time 🤓✨)

Also thank cas while ur at it (they convinced me)

@castor-doodliez

[nalyra-dreaming]

Hi in the episode where Daniel is taunting Louis about Claudia, and Louis triggers Daniel’s Parkinson’s I felt sort of dubious about it because if they go for DM then why would Armand let Louis do that to Daniel?

From a concerned fan

Ps love your whole blog!

Glad you like!

Armand harbors some resentment towards Daniel, as is evident in a lot of his reactions, imho. And he was not in the room then.

The sources for this low-key resentment (I only call it resentment but it's more... a mix of a lot of feelings, if that makes sense?) can only be speculated about right now, I personally think it has to do with how Daniel lost his memories. With how they separated in the past. Which will come into play in season 2 I bet.

So... Louis can be quite sassy. And he has a temper. He and Daniel do give and take, back and forth.

And of course in that scene... that is a touchy subject. And Daniel pushes, well aware that he is worrying the wound.

I think... Armand thought that Louis was more in control of his emotions there. He did apologize for his "outburst" in episode 2 after all, and that was "just" a tear (that we got to see at least).

And Armand is there immediately when he realizes what Louis is doing and he is pulling Louis back.

And, and I still find that very interesting, speaks for him.

"Mr. du Lac would like to apologize and continue with the interview, if you are in..."

Speaking for someone is making the power dynamic very clear. It's putting someone into their place in a way. It's a reprimand wrapped into an apology.

Louis holding his hands up there was a sign to both Armand and Daniel that he acquiesced there.

So... I don't really see a "real danger" there for Daniel. I mean... Armand stopped Louis from killing Daniel before, and there he went literally for the throat and not just some... body manipulation. (Though there's nothing "just" about it, but obviously it's not a full attack.)

And now that Armand has dropped the subterfuge he will always be there.

I don't see any real danger for Daniel. Even if he might feel that there is.

[mythserene]

I got a message I figured I would try to answer out here because updating my less-informed, earlier Lewisohn musings has been on my To Do list for a while.

From anonymous:

I am enjoying your Lewisohn analysis. Do you think he has taken a bribe from the Lennon estate to play down J&Y’s heroin addiction? I can think of no other reason he would lie about this. He is obviously aware how stupid it makes him look.

Thank you for the question, anonymous. Back in October when I first started publicly posting about Mark Lewisohn I knew a lot less about him and hadn't been able to form any sort of picture about what happened between him and Paul/Apple. Or the ongoing and seemingly increasing enmity between he and Paul (+ the Beatles' families), or the anger that seems to be almost boiling over in Lewisohn these past few years.

And for what it's worth—as far as I can understand—even Yoko has locked Lewisohn out. Apple is a unified front on this one.

I do not think that anyone has gotten to Lewisohn to make him say these things, or even that he is aware that he looks stupid. I think that Beatles' fans are extremely straight-laced in the best way, and that the habit of trusting someone like Lewisohn dies hard. Until AKOM's Fine Tuning series I'm not aware of anyone ever putting forward a concerted challenge to even his most extreme narratives. The voluminous word count of the book and the simple fact of all those citations lulled most people into complacency. Until Fine Tuning no one had looked further, or if they did they were shy about stating it. People in the Beatles' community are afraid of criticizing Lewisohn, and I've heard that again and again these past few months. But AKOM went for it, made a persuasive case, and opened the floodgates. (And gave me an opportunity and an outlet for the problems I had been finding, and supported me. Phoebe and Daphne are the only reason you're reading this.)

Back to the question.

First of all, I think that Lewisohn genuinely idolizes John, and I think he is fanatically committed to the narrative of John-as-demigod. And I tend to think that he is now perhaps more committed to his telling of the Beatles' story than even to the beliefs that undergird his narrative. But the other half of the equation that the Solomon-like part of my mind failed to accept for a long time is just how much Mark Lewisohn seems to hate Paul McCartney. And I do not use that word lightly.

When AKOM started their Fine Tuning series I was half-excited and half-nervous. I am a citations freak. I like original sources and I basically mine books and podcasts to find sources and hunt them down. I also came into the Beatles without the background that most fans have. I didn't understand the John vs Paul fight in Beatles historiography. I loved John and Paul both, for different reasons, but mostly I loved them together. What initially caught me about Tune In were all the claims that were completely unsourced, and before long I began discovering more troubling issues, but after a while I forced myself to set it aside because I was just frustrating myself and it seemed like a waste of time to argue with Mark Lewisohn on my computer.

It was Shells and Barriers that made a new thought intrude and begin to become inescapable: Mark Lewisohn must genuinely detest Paul McCartney. This was the episode I most dreaded because, well, because I was ignorant of a lot. I expected it to be the most subjective, and I have a lot of empathy for John as I am an only child who lost both parents a month apart. It makes you feel like you have no tether at all. Like you're floating in space and that any breeze might carry you off. There's no cushion and you feel exposed.

But that episode did something that I was unable to do on my own—that I didn't have the breadth of knowledge to comprehend on my own—it filled in a lot of gaps that I was unaware of. And I simply could not fathom any reason for most of how Lewisohn framed Paul's childhood besides pure loathing. Daphne's word counts are pretty incredible, too. John is jealous twice, both times of Cynthia. (+a "Jealous Guy" mention.) The numbers that stood out to me right away and have stuck in my memory were Paul being "jealous" eight times and "envious" five times = thirteen. And even beyond Lewisohn making Paul out to be completely unmoved by his mother's death and painting the aftermath as safe and comforting, it's notable that Paul is only said to be "loved" four times in the entire book, and he is only said to be loved by John. (Stu is said to be loved nine times.) I realized when I listened to that episode that my picture of Paul's relationship with Mike had been refrigerated and flattened out by Tune In, all without me noticing it. Because Lewisohn doesn't hit you over the head with things, instead he subtly and slyly frames things in a careful and deceitful way, and that framing shapes the reader's opinions.

The case of bias in his writing about John and Paul's childhoods is not easy to make, especially in the ways I like to make a case—finding discreet objective evidence that can be straightforwardly disproved—but AKOM's overall case in that episode was devastating, and there were several details that stood out to me and have stuck with me. Jim hitting Paul until Paul basically threatened to hit back as a teenager and the unnoted redaction of that in a John quote Lewisohn uses is fairly indefensible, and the choice to leave out that Jim was suicidal after Mary's death and to instead paint a picture of a loving and nurturing extended family swooping in that almost sounds better than what the boys had had before losing their mum impressed me as almost malicious when patiently laid out. And then there were a lot of smaller details that struck me. Lewisohn describes Mike as "shattered irrevocably" by Mary's death, which is contrasted with Paul's callousness. (And the way the "shattered" sentence is written it also leaves the impression that Paul wasn't that close to his mum, although Lewisohn is careful not to say that in so many words.)

Jim broke the news to the boys. Mike, who was especially close to his mother, burst into tears, a core part of him shattered irrevocably. Paul's response was less expected and not at all what Jim or anyone else wanted to hear. ... Eight years later, Mike looked back with candor on these first few days ... "Paul made some flippant remark which sounded pretty callous at the time" ...

(Emphasis mine)

Then in a Frankenquote that is half author interview, Paul is quoted as saying about both he and John losing their mothers:

“We had a bond there that we never talked about—but each of us knew that had happened to the other ... I know he was shattered, but at that age you're not allowed to be devastated, and particularly as young boys, teenage boys, you just shrug it off.”

And Dusty Durband, Paul's English Master, was quoted in Chris Salewicz's 1986 biography of Paul describing him as “shattered.”

“Paul had a bad break, his mother had died. He did go through a bit of a rough patch then. I think it shattered him a lot. Maybe it made him turn to other things like practicing his guitar...”

It's like Lewisohn is screwing with Paul by keeping that adjective away from him and even teasing him by handing it to his brother, just out of Paul's reach. I hesitate to write that because it probably sounds as extreme as some of Lewisohn's conclusions, but my Lewisohn immersion has made it seem completely logical, and in fact, almost undeniable. It's a small detail that doesn't seem that important in isolation, but even with just the context of the rest of that AKOM episode it was a piece of evidence that my mind caught and held onto. Lewisohn, by his own testimony, is a Paul watcher. He obsessively listens to, watches, and reads McCartney interviews and is forever bringing them up on podcasts, waxing on about how he understands Paul McCartney like no one else. (This is invariably followed by an example that is freakishly twisted inside Lewisohn's mind to reveal some negative aspect of Paul's character.)

I don't think that Paul and Mark Lewisohn had some great falling out. Instead what I think occurred added up to a thousand paper cuts in Lewisohn's very thin skin. He felt humiliated by Paul one too many times, and he pushed every humiliation down into his gut, coated them in bile, and remembered them.

Last November there was a Lewisohn interview in a Spanish language magazine, Jot Down, where Lewisohn tells one of these little anecdotes. They're always couched in neutral language, and he usually says how whatever happened was understandable, but the theme is the same: some perceived slight by Paul that he had to swallow in silence. (The translation is 98% Google translate. I corrected three or four pronouns that it had mistranslated, but nothing else.)

“He didn't say goodbye to me, he didn't give me a hint of grace.”

Q. I remember a television program in which Paul was asked for a detail of his own life, and he answered "ask Mark Lewisohn." LEWISOHN: Yes. It was a little weird, sometimes. On one occasion, for example, I worked with George Martin on a television documentary about Sgt. Pepper. But he also kept working with Paul. So there we were, on Abbey Road interviewing McCartney with all the equipment, the television cameras and everything else. Then the director of the documentary tells me to let him know if Paul makes a mess with any information, so that I can ask him to repeat his answer with the correct information. I sat there, hoping that I didn't have to intervene. But Paul said he had the idea of making the album Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band flying back from the United States. And I knew that hadn't happened like that. Let's see, I wasn't there, but I know he had the idea coming back from Nairobi. In fact, he didn't fly to the United States until Sgt. Pepper was finished. And, on the return trip, he was already thinking about the Magical Mystery Tour. I usually let these details go, they're really not that important. Except if they are recording him for a documentary about the 25 years of Sgt. Pepper that was going to be broadcast on television. So, while the cameraman was changing the movie roll, I approached the director and said "Paul was coming back from Nairobi and not from the United States when he had the idea for the album, I don't know what you want to do about it." And the director goes and releases him, "Paul, Mark says you didn't understand it well. That you didn't have the idea when you were flying back from the United States." To which Paul stared at me and replied "Yes, I did." It was a very uncomfortable, difficult and embarrassing moment when I wanted the floor to swallow me. He didn't say goodbye to me, he didn't give me a hint of grace. And I had to learn when to say something and when not to. But, in that place, my job was to say something. I was paid to say something. So I said something, and he didn't like it. Nobody likes to be corrected.

Sorry, anonymous. I wrote far more than an answer because I used your question as an excuse to get on the record an addendum and some corrections to my earlier musings, but I do not think Lewisohn has any idea of how ridiculous he sounds. He is insulated from almost all criticism and is constantly praised as a sort of Beatles' god. He worships John and wants to shape the Beatles' story to redeem him, but I also think he believes in the story that he has shaped. I think he is lost and frustrated at being locked out by Apple—and actively thwarted by them—and that has made his criticisms of Paul much more public. It's as if his new job is just going on podcasts and taking pot shots at Paul McCartney. And for Mark Lewisohn it's clear that the Holy Grail is the breakup. He is intent on recasting Allen Klein as much more of a positive force than history has given him credit for, and Lewisohn has foreshadowed a parallel between Klein and Epstein by manipulating all the evidence about Paul and Brian. He is going to cast Paul as the bad guy and John as the hero. As always. And if John and Yoko are addicted to heroin that throws his whole rewrite into chaos. He simply cannot concede that there was a real issue. John cannot be fully human. He robs John of what makes John so magnificent.

So everyone else has to be wrong.

Just for fun before I go, another narrative Lewisohn was working on putting forward in this “John was actually right” case, was rehabilitating Magic Alex. “Get Back” seemingly thwarted this line of nonsense, but after bingeing the Nagras Lewisohn was seriously pushing the idea that Magic Alex had been slandered by history and that John's judgment about him had been vindicated. It takes listening to a lot of these interviews—something that I can only do in small doses—to begin to see the fuller picture that Lewisohn was wedded to, and Magic Alex is as much a part of that as the heroin comments are. They are all of a piece.

“And they just had to get mobile gear in. So, big deal.”

In the end, I think what Mark Lewisohn means by “right” is different than what “right” means to everyone else. “Right” to Mr. Lewisohn means warped quotes that tell a fabricated story of Paul McCartney not wanting Brian Epstein as his manager. “Right” means Magic Alex being a wizard, unfairly tarnished by the lesser Beatles. “Right” means Yoko being John's artistic savior, and of a heroin addiction dreamed up by bad actors who don't understand things the way he does. A myth perpetrated by those who cannot grasp the truth. And I genuinely believe that Mark Lewisohn revels in the power of being able to take Paul McCartney's own story away from him and use it to hurt him and to hurt his legacy. To use his power over the Beatles' story to wound Paul, the way he feels that Paul wounded him. In so many interviews when Lewisohn talks about Paul he seethes. (It's quite impressive.)

And I think the thought of Lewisohn's retelling slipping away or being supplanted is a very threatening idea in his mind. I think it scares him. I think he is holding onto a delusion of his own making, and he fears that he will not be able to finish his life's work of solidifying that warped tale into historical fact.

Nothing is Real - Lewisohn seethe quick mix

[thatpodcastkid]

Magnus Archives Relisten, MAG 4 Page Turner

Analysis of MAG 4, Page Turner. Spooky book time! Spoilers ahead.

Jurgen Leitner? Stupid idiot motherfucking Jurgen-

Sorry about that got possessed for a second. Anyway, first Leitner statement! Let's get into it while I try to control my rage.

Facts: Statement of Dominic Swain, regarding a book briefly in his possession in the winter of 2012.

Statement Notes: So much in this episode! First Gerry and Mary citing, first Leitner and Mike Crew mention. Crazy how relevant this episode was and we all had no way of knowing.

Starting simple, I would just like to say that as a theatre tech, Swain is so accurate and so real. "Doing a little bit of everything?" Real. Trying to see friends work but you also work at the same time? Real. Work place romance? Real. Not being able to relax when you see a play because you know all the tech stuff that can go wrong? Really real.

What I really loved about Dominic's statement though is the highlight of the ozone smell. He walks all around London with that book, shows it to Mary and Gerard, shows it to friends, and no one else mentions the smell. Yet, when he shows it to his ex Katherine Mendes, she said it "triggered her vertigo." This happens with a lot of the cursed items in the show: they don't have one general effect, but target the specific sources of fear and anxiety in the owner. Katherine apparently gets vertigo often, so The Vast would naturally trigger than height-based stressor. But Swain has a specific fear of lightning and the ozone smell because of what happened to Mike, so torturing him with that smell is the most effective way to cause fear in him.

There's also some really classic cursed object horror going on here that I love. Swain tries to sell the book the whole episode, but calls it "his book" fleeing Mary. Additionally, he says that he thought about giving it away, but felt that "wouldn't count." Very similar to Do Not Open here and a lot of cursed object horror in that there needs to be some kind of debt or reciprocity established rid one of the object.

I also just love the line "walking felt as natural as falling." It really conjures the idea that he can't control himself, that he's stumbling to Mary's shop uncontrollable just as he would fall through the sky: completely unable to stop.

Entity Alignment: Dominic translates "Ex Altiora" as "From Higher" or "Out of the Heights." That's just such insane Vast energy, the idea that whatever the book does to you will spawn from the open empty sky and you won't be able to stop it, just as you'd never be able to stop falling.

Obviously this episode is generally Vast aligned, but that painting of the Eye really freaked me out. "Grant us the sight that we may not know. Grant us the scent that we may not catch. Grant us the sound that we may not call.” This engraving very much encapsulates the point of the Eye and the Archive, and weirdly foreshadows what Jon goes through later. It is essentially saying, "Let me witness the fear and pain of others so that I don't have to experience it myself." Why would Gerry paint this? Especially given that a giant eye gives Elias direct view into his home. What is the goal?

Character Notes: Jurgen Leitner? Stupid idiot motherfucking Jurgen Leitner god damn fool book collecting dust eating-

Sorry what happened I blacked out.

Seriously though, my biggest takeaway about Leitner in this ep is that he doesn't spell his name with an umlaut like others. Why did Jonny include that detail. What does that do for me.

I do love that the only information Swain could find on him was that he lost a bidding war over a book to "GRbookworm1818" who is so obviously Gertrude it's hilarious.

I think it's so weird that Swain couldn't find anything online about him, though. Leitners are clearly around, so wouldn't there be some kind of chat room or reddit post about one? Builds my theory that the Entities or at least the Web has some influence over internet content in this universe that it doesn't have in The Magnus Protocol universe. In TMAGP, the OIAR sorts through things found in databases and the internet, but in TMA the Archive seems to be the only source of real supernatural info, proving that Elias or someone else was controlling the stream of information in a way that the entities aren't able to (yet) in TMAGP.

Let's turn away from the most hated character on the internet to talk about the most loved: Gerard Keay.

Our first intro to Gerry is death metal music blasting from his bedroom at two am which is just, so on brand.

(Also want to point out that Dominic Swain didn't realize it was 2 am until he heard the music. Missing time is another motif that keeps coming up in this show.)

I also forgot that Gerry painted in this universe, so it's nice to see they kept that connection in Protocol.

The thing that's truly key (no pun intended) about this episode though is the ritual Mary performs, blaming Gerry for her fake murder. I believe this is the episode she binds herself to the Skin Book, but I can't figure out when/how she would attach Gerry. Also, the case against him was thrown out because a "key piece of evidence was deemed inadmissible." Was this Gertrude pulling strings, Mary using magic influence, or some other powerful eldritch bureaucrat pulling for our boy? Who's to say.

Mike Crew is really only mentioned in this episode, but it did get me thinking about the relevance of scars in the show. His Lichtenberg scar influences who he is and what he becomes as an Avatar. Very similar to Daisy naming herself after her scar and pursuing law--which would lead to her becoming an Avatar--because of the event and injury. Also, Jon's "markings" are what allow him to start the Eyepocalypse. Physical manifestations and reminders of trauma shaping who we become really is a theme in this show.

And of course, Jon. He is such a terrible liar yet him believing in the supernatural was still somehow a plot twist. Proves how good a writer Jonny is, honestly. He doesn't believe in the supernatural, but is absolutely terrified of Leitners and is working on an "institute project" to eradicate them? I would love to know how this project worked. Was it just research? Was there a team dedicated to finding and collecting Leitners? He also mentions "the incident in 1994," is that when the library was destroyed? Or is just another terrible Leitner incident.

Crazy ep, one of my favorites. Let me know what you think!

[bsd-elle]

Kazuki's involvement and decision to take care of Miri stems from a lot of trauma and grief.

The moment we are introduced to him, we see him taking care of Rei, and chastising him on the cat that he saved.

He says that you shouldn't take care of something if you're not in it for the long run.

And obviously, that's a result of the loss of his wife and also, a direct result of his childhood.

He has made it clear, and is incredibly self-aware of the fact that he is the way he is because his parents' abandoned him.

And that could've, very easily, sent him down a road of self-destruction and chaos.

But he never let's it encroach his own personality, his own autonomy.

He makes decisions, and not only that, makes mistakes (like every human being), and rather than using a shield of his upbringing, or lack there of, he's concious and takes the blame with his whole chest.

And that is clear throughout episode 7, where you see the inner workings of his mind, how he's still trapped by the events that transpired 5 years back.

Not only mentally, but also not allowing himself to pursue any stability and happiness.

And I'm so glad the show decided to take that very deep, personal, and real look into trauma and grief, and the guilt that comes along with it, that you're leaving the person behind.

Kazuki feels like he's not allowed to be happy, he's scared to find happiness, because, in his head, it would be a betrayal of his wife.

I think Kazuki was living on auto-pilot since the events that transpired over five years back. He wanted his routine to be normal.

Works as a hitman, gambles his life away, hangs out with girls, takes care of Rei, and the cycle continues.

He desperately wanted things to stay the same way because he didn't want to confront the possibility that he was happy, nor even grapple with that idea, thus he constantly seeks uncertainty.

We're not even sure if he has a place to stay, as he states himself, he's crashing at Rei's place.

That was his life and he was content with that because anything to the contrary would mean he was moving on. He was changing, and that would be a direct betrayal of his past relationship.

He fought adamantly against change, he didn't want anything permanent in his life. He didn't want to take care of anything, because if he did, it would mean he was changing. If he were to be fulfilled by something new in his life, it would almost be like he was writing over the history he shared with Yuzuko, and the future they would've shared. The future that was taken away from them, by an action that he actively blames himself for.

Hence, he looked towards simple things that wouldn't make him feel fulfilled, things that he wouldn't have to look after or care for. And that could be something as simple as a pet.

Miri, with her rambunctious energy and sunshine personality, quite literally, bombarded into both of their lives.

From the jump, it's quite clear that Kazuki took a liking to her. But I can't imagine, the mental agony he faced, coming to terms with taking care for her.

Because that would mean he was having a family, 'writing over' a future he lost.

But like Karin said, Memories aren't a prison.

Kazuki is allowed to be happy, is allowed to have a family, he shouldn't hold himself back, because Yuzuko would want nothing more than for him to be happy.

And I think that was an incredibly well-written look into grief and trauma, and a reminder to everyone: If you lost somebody in your life, you doing need to hold yourself back to enjoying things, you don't have to feel guilty, because at the end of the day, you're not writing over history, you're not changing the past , but rather, you are looking forward to a new future while staying connected to the past, and that is okay.

Kazuki realizes that not only was he stopping himself from feeling joy at permanancy, but he was also actually happy, probably for the first time in a very long time.

He feels happy, he feels hopeful, he cares for his family and wants to take care of them, and look after them (because they would, quite literally, die without him😂).

Kazuki, deciding to look after Miri, put in all the extra effort and time, just to see her smile, goes to show the amount of care and love he has for Miri, and him taking control of being responsible for Miri's upbringing and future, so that she wouldn't 'end up like he did'.

In his journey of mindlessly wading through life, he was able to terms with the fact that he's allowed to be happy, he's allowed to feel fulfilled and allowed to have a family.

Sure, it's not the ideal one, probably not the one he envisioned; with a partner that couldn't hold his weight a lot of the time, and a child who's energy is so vivacious.

But what family is ideal? It's definitely not two hitmen, who can barely function on their own, and a child who has them wrapped around her finger.

Maybe it's not what he dreamed of, but hey, atleast he can spend the rest of his days teaching his little, imperfectly perfect family how to make a good French Toast.

[idekforfun]

Comfort ... JJk

Summary: After scoring an invite to JHope's album release party, Yazmine isn't expecting anything more than to stick to the sidelines and enjoy the free drinks and music. Little did she know what her ever growing relationship with the rapper would lead her to.

Pairing: Idol!Jungkook x OC

Genre: Fluff, slight angst, strangers to lovers, ongoing series

Word count: 2.7k

...

The only thing I am able to think of as my eyes scatter across the room of popular faces is "the amount of talent in this room is enough to swallow me whole". I’m overwhelmed with anxiety and I can't seem to remember how I was ever able to suppress it. I'm finding it increasingly hard to hide behind my extrovert persona, the one that is a lie, a huge lie in fact.

 I realized I had been lost in my head when the sound of loud clapping brought me back to the real world. I barely catch the very end of Hoseok's speech, something along the lines of "Thank you for supporting me", and "enjoy the food and music" then he gives a bow and walks down the stairs where he is immediately pulled into conversation. Oh, I can't even imagine the anxiety he must be feeling. I could simply stick to a corner and hide in the shadows, whereas he has to socialize with everyone out of obligation.

Socializing. For some reason I forgot that I'd have to do that. I've been able to avoid it thus-far having arrived minutes before the actual album started playing. Now, everywhere I looked someone was talking to someone else. I realized I couldn't just stand here alone forever. I examine the room for someone I know, even better someone I have interviewed because I'll take any familiarity I can at this point. This whole ordeal is making me question my job because how am I able to meet celebrities on the daily, and here I am stressing about having to socialize at a party.

I was too in my head again, so I didn't realize someone had been calling my name until I felt a few taps on my shoulder. When I turn around, I was met with no other than Jessi, thank god. We have met on more than one occasion, and she has a weird ability of making people extremely comfortable, something I am immensely thankful for right now.

"Yaz!" She pulls me into a hug. It actually does well to soothe me. "I didn't know you were coming."

"I didn't know either," I pulled back from the hug with a gentle smile. "Actually, I was kind of surprised."

"Why, are you and J-hope not close?" she questioned.

"I mean, I had him on the show and we got on really well. We've also messaged a lot, too." I know I sound hesitant speaking, as if I'm not sure of the words I am saying. It is kind of hard to believe that Hoseok would want a friendship with me of all people, let alone be close.

"Oh, he definitely adores you, we even talked about you once," she has a sparkle in her eye as she talks and for some reason, I feel obliged to believe her. "Also, he was one of the best episodes on your show by far."

She is right about that. It has been my most viewed interview by a pretty wide margin. Part of me knows it’s due to the fact that he is J-hope of BTS, obviously, but it was also such a good video. All my interviews follow a simple formula. I bring the guest on and we engage in whatever activity they enjoy, in Hoseok’s case dancing. It brings a different level of intimacy that you can’t get from simply sitting across from one another and reading questions from a card. The conversation always flows naturally, and it’s all so genuine. On top of that, even I can admit that Hoseok and I just clicked. Our personalities complimented each other well. So much that we even continued to develop our relationship through messaging, and now I am attending his album release party which is a very important step in his solo career. Maybe we are closer than I allowed myself to believe.

“Yeah, it was pretty great actually.” I could see her eyes light up at my slight self-indulgence. Maybe I should give myself more credit.

We both turn our heads at the call of Jessi’s name from across the room. She gives me another smile and hug and tells me that she’ll find me later. I am left alone again but it’s not as bad as before. The anxiety has decreased significantly, which made my apparent hunger more noticeable. Hoseok did say to enjoy the food so I might as well. The snack table was filled with delicious finger food. As I was reaching my hand to grab a bite of some expensive looking cheese on a toothpick someone called my name. I turned around to find none other than Hoseok’s bright smile.

“So, I see you made it!” He pulled me into a hug. Not the ‘barely touch you because this is a little uncomfortable hug”, but a “I feel like we’ve known each other for years hug’.

“Hoseok, you’re incredible. The album is amazing, the release party is amazing, your outfit is amazing!” We pulled away from the hug and I could see a feint blush on his cheeks hidden well in the dimly lit room. “I’m serious, you may be the coolest person I know.”

“Yahhh, you’re boosting my ego too much.” He said while smiling shyly.

“You also may be the humblest person I know so I actually don’t think that is possible.” He smiled at me again and I swear I saw a glimpse of the actual sun in him.

“Do you know anyone here?”

“A few people, mostly through the grapevine.” He could sense my hesitancy right away, I could tell.          

“Come, I’ll introduce you to my friends.” He said as he gestured to the general direction behind him where his so-called friends were. Knowing him, his friends could be some ultra-famous idols that have better things to do than interacting with me. I could slowly feel the anxiety creep back up my spine, and my heartbeat slowly increased.

“I don’t really want to be a bother,” he looked down at me with squinted eyes and a tilted head. “I promise it’s okay, I like being alone and these appetizers are calling my name.”

He chuckled at me in disbelief, as if that was an insane thing to say in a room full of celebrities. I guess you could say a part of me is forgetting that they are just normal people too, so I shouldn’t be feeling this intimidated by them. At the same time, I’ve seen celebrities get starstruck over other celebrities, so they really aren’t just normal people and I am going to tell myself that my feelings are valid.

“C’mon, you’re never a bother. You’re my friend and I want my friends to meet you” he said reassuringly. I guess that answers my earlier internal debate. After 2 seconds of contemplation, I let myself believe him, and I signaled for him to lead the way. He lit up and tugged on my wrist so I could follow him.

I don’t know who I was expecting him to introduce me to, but for some reason his members stupidly did not come to mind. Three of the seven members of BTS were sitting on the stage together, and their heads all turned to Hoseok and I as we approached them. Despite all my inner turmoil, I take pride in my ability to pretend that I am confident and unfazed by everything. That is how I’ve done so well in my career while dealing with anxiety, but as the three idols studied us as we approached them, I could tell that mainting my persona would be more difficult than usual. I know them of course, because who doesn’t these days, but seeing them in person simply beats videos and pictures. They really were beautiful men.

“Yazmine this is Taehyung, Jimin and Jungkook. Guys this is Yazmine.” Hoseok introduced while gesturing to each of them.

“Hi guys its so great to meet you.” I said with a smile. Jungkook and Taehyung who were sitting raised themselves up to give me a bow as well as Jimin who was already standing as I shook my hands at them. “Oh! there’s no need for that we can be casual.”

“Sorry, it’s a habit,” Jimin said with a smile. “After all these years it feels kind of strange not to be formal.”

“That’s how I feel except opposite. Getting used to being formal was a challenge and I sometimes still forget the strict customs.” I explained.

“Sorry if this comes across as rude but you’re not Korean? You’re Korean is really good!” Taehyung questioned.

“It’s not rude at all! I am half Korean from my mom and my dad is middle eastern,” as I was explaining, someone summoned Hoseok over to them and he gave my arm a firm squeeze in parting as he nodded to his members insinuating his departure. “I was raised in the US till age 12 and I’ve been back and forth since then.” I explained as they nodded in understanding. It was endearing how intently they were listening to me, and for some reason I felt oddly at ease with the three. My eyes wandered over to Jungkook’s as I finished my explanation, and as they met he quicky looked away.

“Your interview with Hobi Hyung was amazing by the way,” Jimin said. In the moment I don’t think I even processed that Park Jimin watches my show, I’d have to do that later. “The idea is so new and exciting. I hope that you’ll invite me once I start my solo schedule.” There was a sly smirk on his face. I wondered if it would be inappropriate to tell him I would probably jump off a bus if he asked me to, but I decided to keep that to myself in the end.

“I’ll see what I could do.” I joked back. Out of the corner of my eye I saw someone new approaching us and I turned my head to find Seokjin. I was now surrounded by four members of the group and I am surprised I’ve held my composure for this long.

“Hello,” he says timidly with a subtle bow. “Sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to say bye to these three. I’m Jin.”

Just when I thought these men couldn’t get any better, he introduces himself as if I wouldn’t already know who he is. I gave a bow back and smiled at his humility, “I’m Yazmine, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Hey Jungkook, this must be exciting for you.” At the mention of the youngest members name, I turned to look at him and caught his wide eyes and small headshake towards Jin that I was clearly not meant to see as his eyes shifted to me. “He loves your videos. One time he made me watch three episodes of your trying new things series.”

“Hyung!” Jungkook cried out. Obviously I was not supposed to be filled in on this information, but my heart couldn’t help but beat a little faster at this new discovery.

“Oh, did he now?” I questioned with a smirk. Jungkook’s face twinged a subtle pink that was barely noticeable in the dimly lit room, but noticeable, nonetheless.

“Oh yeah, Jungkookie is always sending us clips from your videos,” Jimin teased. Taehyung started nodding his head enthusiastically and decided he also wanted to join in on teasing the youngest.

“You should have seen his reaction when he found out Hobi Hyung was making an appearance, he was so jeal-”

            “Okay that’s enough.” Jungkook interrupted with an annoyed expression. Despite how much I was enjoying this, I also felt a little bad for him, and I’m sure he’s been at the center of their teasing all these years.

            “Well, I really appreciate the support, and it means a lot coming from you especially.” I reassured him. He gave me a shy small in return.

            “Well it was nice to meet you Yazmine, I am sure we’ll run into each other again,” Jin said with a warm smile. “Before I leave Hobi wants a picture with all of us.” He said while gesturing to the other members. They all nodded in agreement.

            As they all turned to follow Jin, Jimin turned to me and nudged my arm with his. “Don’t go too far, we’ll be back soon.”

“I’ll be here.” I reassured. I definitely wasn’t comfortable enough to talk with anyone else here, and their welcoming energy was definitely more than enough for me. Jimin and Taehyung followed Jin, while I noticed Jungkook lingering a bit. I could tell he had something on his mind that he wanted to say.

            “Isn’t it a bit early for Jin to be leaving?” I questioned. This was my best attempt at making him comfortable enough to tell me what was on his mind.

            “This isn’t really Jin Hyungs scene, he doesn’t really know many people and he gets nervous meeting them too.” Jungkook explained. I almost did not catch the end of what he was saying because I was too distracted by his eyes. They really do sparkle just like everyone says.

            “Wow, if that’s how Jin feels then I really am hopeless.” I said in shock. If a literal bts member was having trouble socializing, I was doomed.

            “Not completely hopeless, you have us now.” He said with the most endearing smile I have ever seen. There was also something about how he said “You have us now”, as if he was insinuating that I would be in their lives longer than just a casual conversation at a party. I know it’s probably my delusion speaking, but it’s a nice thought to comfort me.  “By the way I really do enjoy your videos a lot. I guess it’s kinda embarrassingly obvious now that I am a fan.” He said with a little more confidence while referring to the teasing from his Hyungs.

            “If it makes you feel better, I have 3 older brothers, so I know how it feels. Also, I am slightly embarrassed because of how many stupid things you’ve probably seen me do. It’s actually all coming back now.” I laughed. I started internally second guessing every decision I made for my videos because Jeon fucking Jungkook watches them, and I pray that he has not seen the bird calling video.

            “What, like the bird calling video?” He says with a chuckle. This is not happening right now.

            “I am actually going to ignore what you just said for mental health reasons.” He lets out a boyish laugh at that and I swear I’ve never heard something more adorable in my life. I would honestly embarrass myself 100 times over if it meant that I could make him laugh.

            We both turn our heads at the call of his name and see the members waving him over for the pictures.

            “I’m sorry I don’t want to leave you alone…” He says hesitantly.

            “No, don’t worry about it,” I said. “I’ll just be here trying not to embarrass myself.”

            “I won’t take long so we can be embarrassing together.” He said in a teasing tone. My eyes couldn’t help but widen. I’m either crazy, or he just flirted with me. I could hear his giggle as he turned to walk away while I stood there stunned. The butterflies in my stomach were going crazy as I watched him join the others. Seeing them interact with each other was so special. They looked so happy and comfortable. It was hard not to be slightly envious of their relationship. I can’t remember the last time I had a connection like that with someone, and I could tell it was rare. My eyes naturally wander over to Jungkook as he wrapped his arm around Hoseok. I could see his eyes glistening even from here with joy and contempt. His eyes meet mine and I find myself unable to look away even though I know I’ve been caught staring. His eyes crinkle at the corners as we look at each other, waiting to see who will break eye contact first. My gaze wanders across his nose and cheeks as my face heats up. I force my eyes to meet his one final time and I turn away with a light feeling looming over me.

[lost-inanotherlife]

Hey, it's the same anon again. Thank you for the reply, I completely relate to everything you wrote!

I'd like to add that people often call Jack an asshole who "doesn't understand" other survivors, but the truth is, other survivors don't understand him either.

For example, I've seen many viewers bashing Jack for snapping at Kate in s1e12, after she retrieved her toy airplane, but they seem to forget the events of the earlier episodes.

Jack was the one who ultimately had to put down the marshal and even buried him by himself (Kate asked him why he didn't burn the marshal with the other bodies in the fuselage, and his answer was "I had to bury him").

Obviously, taking this man's life was a difficult moment for Jack (it's also implied that he sees mercy killing as murder), then just a few days later, Kate casually asks him to dig up the marshal's body, essentially asking him to reopen a painful wound. She then tries to deceive him with the key, and when he keeps his promise to her despite everything, she pulls out a random plastic airplane and shuts him out as if he didn't just desecrate a grave to help her retrieve this seemingly useless toy...

(I love Kate btw don't get me wrong hehe)

Omg Anon I love your cut-to-the-chase approach because YES! "Other survivors don't understand Jack", say it louder for the people in the back!

Let's be clear: I'm NOT making excuses for Jack's behavior. If people check my blog they will see that I call him out quite often. The thing is that I think that the way he reacts kinda makes sense with how the narrative treats him.

Let's take Kate as an example since you've brilliantly pointed out how people tend to side with her and call Jack a douche. Which okay, fair BUT.

Premise: I love Kate. I don't find her relatable at all but she's a goldmine in terms of characters whose potential was squandered because of a love triangle that ended in S3. But I digress.

Kate is a deeply, deeply flawed chatacter like honestly ALL characters on that damn island. This is not a flaw but she is like the other losties in that she sees Jack as an IDEAL.

Of course, compared to other people she actually gets to know him etc. But she's primarily fascinated by Jack because she wants his approval and validation so badly (I'll link some of my metas about this specific topic) sometimes it makes her look a bit... confused.

Take for instance that episode in S1 or maybe 2? where she drugs Jack. Not cool, am I right? Well, Jack finds out and takes it out on her but he's also quite soft about it. Well, to that what does Kate reply? She actually tells Jack in the face something like "how could you even think that I'd do something like that?".

I meaaaaaan, guuuuuurl. Come on. This is Manipulation 101. You can't get mad cause he got you. Change tactics. But no, she insists because she wants Jack The HeroTM to tell her she's a good girl.

I find all this absolutely compelling and fascinating because it makes Kate feel more 3D and alive and real. As any human being who's full of contradictions and unknown desires.

To sum it up: even Kate tends to see Jack not as Jack Shephard, A Real MessTM but as Jack The Good Guy.

If you ask ME who on that crazy island better understood the real Jack I'd say Sawyer.

Their relationshio could have been so much more than a love triangle and I'll forever be mad about it.

Thanks again Anon! Your smart takes give me the excuse to yap and I'm loving every second! Hahhaha!

My Meta about Kate (THEY ARE VERY LONG POSTS): detailed but incomplete analysis of the ep "I Do' (it's incomplete cause nobody was reading it so I stopped posting it).

foundational analysis of Kate, "What Kate Did" is THEE Lost episode.

[firephoenix2305]

This is a Rory Williams appreciation post

Because I have recently finished season 6 and I need to shout about it to someone.

(Disclaimer: Severe season 5 and 6 spoilers ahead. If you haven't watched them yet, run away very very fast. Or don't, it's up to you. But you have been warned)

Okay, don't get me wrong. I love Amy, she's great. And I love The Doctor, because well, he's The Doctor, and also Matt Smith, so he's great too.

But.

But. But. But

If I had to pick a favorite...

Rory. Fucking.Arthur. Williams.

I don't even know where to start with this man.

The way he loves Amy. The way he cares about her more than the entire goddamn universe. The way he DOES NOT BUDGE from her side even when she kisses another man the night before their wedding, then proceeds to severely third-wheel him in a very Mickey Smith sort of way for the better part of two episodes (which in retrospect isn't really that much, but STILL) and takes her sweet time to realize she is in love with him.

We are talking, ladies and gentlemen, about the Last goddamn Centurion. This is a man who willingly lived through every single second of 2000 years of human history only to protect Amy Pond. 2000 years without so much as a wink of sleep, or rest, or any synonym of the word. How does this man's heart not physically burst from the sheer amount of love he has for Amy?!?!

I just...I want one. I want a Rory. Does anybody know where I can find a Rory? Pretty please?

And another thing. I'm not sure what it was that Rory did to the writers of this show but JESUS CHRIST. Why so much hate?

And just to prove I'm not even exaggerating, here's a brief summary of some of the things which have happened to this poor guy in seasons 5 and 6. (From the point where he officially joins Amy and The Doctor in the TARDIS onwards, that is)

- S5E7. Killed by the Eknodine in the Dream Lord's fake reality. (And given that horrible ponytail, btw)

- S5E9. Murdered in cold blood by a rogue Silurian, then absorbed by a time crack and hence deleted from the memory of the entire universe. (Being murdered obviously wasn't enough, no)

- S5E13. This is a big one. Revived as an Auton, realized Amy doesn't remember him, then when Amy finally does remember he unwillingly kills her because of his programming (which he eventually breaks free from), stays with the Pandorica for 2000 odd years and finally, after all of that, gets erased from reality. Again. (But it's okay because The Doctor has rebooted the universe, so real Rory came back. Or, rather, never left in the first place. Doctor Who is complicated, okay?!)

- S6E3. To start off the season well, he drowns and practically dies, and is then transferred to a spaceship healing facility where he is essentially hooked to a live support system until Amy brings him back to life.

- S6E4. Tortured and "killed" by the thing controlling the TARDIS, who had a blast warping time and making him go crazy and ultimately making him die of old age. (Not sure if it even counts as a death, but his rotting skeleton was there, so I'm counting it)

- S6E6. Finds out that his wife is not actually his wife but is instead a bunch of sentient flesh which is pretending to be his wife; and that his actual wife is nine months pregnant and currently giving birth to their daughter God knows where. (I did say it was complicated).

- S6E7. Finds Amy and baby Melody, only to lose Melody to the creepy eye patch lady because having lost Amy in the exact same way the previous episode clearly wasn't enough torture for him.

- S6E10. Has "other" Amy (the older version) absolutely hate his guts for something which isn't his fault at all, and has to re-convince her that she loves him. Again. (Seriously, Amy?). Then, he has to sacrifice the other Amy to save his Amy, which was extremely painful for him. (Man, this season gets weirder and weirder, doesn't it?)

- S6E13. Suffers inhumane amounts of pain and almost dies (again) when he lets himself be electrocuted by the eye patch thingy to give Amy, River and The Doctor time to escape. (I know this wasn't technically the same Rory that went through all those other things, but I decided to include it anyway)

AND I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED SEASON 7 YET. Give the man a break! And stop killing him, for God's sake!

(I know this won't happen, because although I haven't watched S7 I accidentally spoiled the whole weeping angel business to myself, so yeah)

And lastly, this scene >>>

Do. Not. Fuck. With the roman.

I just love him.

That is all. Thanks for hearing me out, I feel better.

(@capinejghafa was the furthest back I could track these gifs, but I don't know if they were the one who made them).

[lunar-wandering]

Shadowheart AU

If not obvious this is a Shadowpeach centric AU. It’s mainly a comedy but the way I’m gonna lay this out is gonna make it feel like an angst AU at first purely because it makes the punchline funnier that way.

Anyways, so;

Macaque just straight up doesn’t speak for the first half of this AU, aka, all of the canon show thus far. He covers his mouth with his scarf, and does mumble sometimes, but it’s too quiet for anyone to hear.

Wukong, knowing that the Macaque that he knew would absolutely never shut up, is under the impression that this one is an imposter, aka someone pretending to be his dead friend. Macaque can’t tell him that this is not the case, as he refuses to speak.

Macaque does have a method of communication though. He uses note cards.

Wukong, in episode 9: there's no way that's the real Macaque, the Macaque I know would've NOT shut up while doing all this awful stuff Macaque: (pauses in the middle of being about to throw an attack, digs through his pockets, pulls out a piece of paper and yeets it at Wukong's face) Wukong: gAH- Wukong, peeling off the paper and looking at it: .... -(The paper says "You're a dumbass")- Wukong: ....did you fucking have this prewritten??? -(another piece of paper smacks Wukong in the face- this one having ‘YES’ written on it)-

Macaque has a heart shaped clip on his scarf, Wukong has a heart shaped clip in his hair. (Pictures of the designs will be at the bottom of this post)

Macaque’s clip turns blue when Lady Bone Demon partially possesses him, and when he’s freed by the Samadhi fire it turns grey and breaks in half, causing his scarf to come loose from around his shoulders, so he has to cling to it to prevent it from falling.

Wukong's clip shatters when he's possessed. His hair, normally kept in a braid in this AU, also ends up loose. (He continues to wear it mostly loose afterwards). When he's freed, Macaque rebraids that tiny bit and takes out one half of his heart clip thingy, and uses it in replacement of the one Wukong lost. The half a heart in Wukong's hair turns purple and the one Macaque puts back on his scarf turns golden pink.

Wukong was too tired to protest the action in the moment/was lost in thought over the idea of his old friend being alive and decided to indulge in the illusion for a bit, and then later he just... can't seem to want to get rid of the heart clip. He stares at it like "this isn't from the real Macaque, it's from an imposter" but still just, has this part of him that so desperately wants to believe in the illusion so he just... leaves it.

Post Lady Bone Demon's defeat, Wukong begrudgingly lets Macaque hang around even though he's still under the impression that he's, yknow, not the real Macaque. Even so though, he did help out, and MK is weirdly deciding to let him hang around, so Wukong lets him stay.

Wukong finds out Macaque is the real Macaque after seeing him sitting on Flower Fruit Mountain with his glamours down, playing with the monkeys like he used to. He promptly leaves for like, 4 days to process this revelation.

He also kicks a tree half way across the mountain during this time.

Okay. Time to reveal the main plot point. The reason Macaque doesn’t talk. Drumroll please.

Macaque is cursed to end every sentence with “I love you”.

Obviously since this is Macaque and he wouldn’t want to be caught dead saying “I love you” in ANY context, he decided to just shut up entirely.

This of course leads to scenes earlier in the AU such as;

Wukong: how dare you. how dare you impersonate him. do you know how much he meant to me? He was my world. Macaque, under his breath: tch, says the one that killed me- I love you Wukong, genuinely didn’t hear: w h a t?? Macaque, too flustered to do anything else: (punches Wukong in the face)

What’s REALLY fun about this AU is that in this AU specifically. Wukong’s love language is words. So after Macaque’s curse get’s revealed they’re both just dying 24/7.

It’s hysterical really. Like;

Wukong: i swapped your coffee with decaf mint flavoured tea Macaque: i fucking hate you, i love you Wukong: getting mixed messages but i love you too-

And then there's twenty seconds of silence and then Macaque has his head on the kitchen counter and is clinging trying to use it to keep himself from fully melting into the shadows and Wukong is putting his hands over his face and quickly walking away because he said "i love you too" on IMPULSE.

Wukong is the LAST PERSON to find out about the curse by the way. Everyone else found out about it because Macaque slipped up and said “Thank you, I love you.” when someone handed him something, and although the others thought nothing of it at first, Macaque immediately tried to backpedal and stumble his way out of what he just said, and since he has to end every sentence with “I love you” he basically ends up outing himself.

The way Wukong does find out about the curse is something in and of itself though.

Y’see, Macaque wanted to apologize to Wukong. For obvious reasons. He'd already done so for the others through doing requested favours and stuff and writing apologies to them but he had NO IDEA how he should start trying to apologize to Wukong.

So he goes to Sandy for advice, and, well, as it happens, Wukong happened to be secretly chilling on top of one of the crates on Sandy’s boat when this occurred.

Macaque: ........how do i tell Wukong I'm sorry -I love you? Sandy: well telling him you're sorry will probably take a while, you've had a long history with him and theres a lot to make up for, starting with smaller actions and favours first might work. Now though, telling him you love him would take quite a bit longer- Macaque: thATS NOT WHAT I MEANT THAT WAS THE CURSE AND YOU KNOW IT- I LOVE YOU Sandy, patting Macaque on the head: mhm yep i love you too lil monkey

Wukong falls off the crate he was sitting on and down into the water, but neither Sandy nor Macaque notices.

Wukong tries to just ignore it at first. Macaque starts doing small chores and favours around Flower Fruit Mountain and Wukong tries his absolute best to pretend that this is normal.

Eventually this accumulates to Wukong forcing Macaque to verbally apologize to him on his doorstep, except this backfires horribly because hearing the first “I love you” being technically directed at him absolutely murders him on the spot. Macaque doesn’t even notice Wukong break over it because he himself gets so flustered after two sentences that he instinctively teleports away.

Them actually talking through their issues actually takes at least a week because they both keep getting distracted by Macaque’s curse and have to take hour long breaks after only a couple minutes of conversation.

There’s a couple more things other than that but I think I’ll stop this post here by saying that when they kiss each other they leave behind little heart shaped marks on each others faces.

Oh. One last thing actually.

Once they get back together, Wukong calls Macaque “his Shadowheart” in this AU.

Anyways here’s the low quality design notes I have for this AU.

[stagefoureddiediaz]

just wanna ask your opinion on what do you think the purpose is for these dates. Kristen was saying that it’s for Eddie to try to see what he wants and hopes he can find a spark. How are we doing this when buddie is right there and we all saw Eddie’s reaction how can they still he pushing anything but buddie after this episode. Would love to know your thoughts thank you so much I love your posts.

Hey Nonnie

Glad you enjoy my posts - thats always lovely to hear! ☺️

Sometimes the thing that is right there is too big and terrifying to fully contemplate. In this case Buddie. So you play it safe and choose a different path because then the risk of getting hurt ceases to be a consideration.

To me these dates read as a form of trauma response. Eddie has just been faced with losing Buck - not just the possibility of losing him, but actually losing him because as we stand right now Buck is dead. More dead than Eddie has been.

He went into the back of that ambulance technically dead - no pulse and not breathing, so dead. We know from the promo that they are still working on him when they get to the hospital - we see Eddie jump on the stretcher and continue the CPR that Hen and Chim would have been giving in the back of the ambulance so the journey to the hospital hasn't changed things. Eddie is the last one of the firefam to have physical contact with buck before they whisk him away (and obviously manage to get him back).

All of this is only ever going to lead to Eddie having some form of trauma response because he has to grapple with the very real possibility that he's lost/ is about to lose the person he is closest to in the world - the person he knows best, and the person he has elected to take care of Christopher if Eddie were the one to die - he person he has to all intents and purposes been raising his son with. And we haven't even seen him telling Christopher yet - which is only going to compound all of these feelings further.

Then add into that the fact that he's experienced something like this before when Shannon died and he's very possibly thinking this is worse than that - which in and of itself is going to pile on more pain. Because if he admits that this is worse than losing Shannon then he has to admit that he is in love with Buck.

This is all huge for Eddie. He might be newly therapized, but he's also lived his life up until fairly recently repressing the hell out of everything, so this is the first time his therapized self is being tested. He also needs to be there and be strong for Christopher and so reverting to type and battening down the hatches of his feelings and emotions rather than actually sitting in them and sorting them is safer and easier - at least until you're down the road a bit and you know what the terrain looks like. This is in many ways a smart thing for Eddie to do - as long as he does the second part - actually sit with them and figure them out.

Only when that happens and you are in calmer waters and you start that looking at everything in more detail and you're left with the knowledge that you're in love with your best friend - something you've known for a while but have been keeping locked down until you nearly lost them and that thought of loosing them is just too much - its too dangerous - because if you get hurt you don't think you'll survive - the stakes are too high. So instead what you do is go out into the world and date around a bit - where the risks are lower to see if you can find some semblance of a spark elsewhere. Because we have to remember this is soulmate level love that Eddie has with Buck and when you know what its like to lose that - because you very nearly did, its terrifying to know what you stand to lose if you took the next step in that direction.

So yes going out on a bunch of dates is very much a trauma response imo - an entirely understandable one, and once the dust has settled a bit further Eddie will be in a place to face everything and take the step he's been affraid to.

Buck of course at the same time is going to be going through his own stuff in the fall out from his dying and coming back. Eddie will be there to support him and help him - that aspect of them won't go away, in fact its only likely to get stronger. because part of the reason for all of this being difficult for Eddie is that he now truly understands Bucks side of things post shooting and Buck will understand Eddies side of things. they will be ready to talk about what they've been carefully skirting around since the shooting - what it was like for the other. Giving them shared trauma in this way only serves to strengthen their bond rather than break it - because there is no one else in the world who can ever understand in the way they can!

Sorry this got a bit long and rambly but I'm a bit up in my feelings about what the show is doing because its so good and being done with such care!!! We should also remember (and I cannot emphasise it enough - the show isn't going to give anything away in interviews like the ones KR has done about Buddie - theyre telling a story the likes of which has never been seen before and subterfuge is the name of the game - we'll only get confirmation when it happens, not before!) Thanks for the ask and I hope it gives you what you're looking for!💜💜💜

[far-side-skies]

You're the #1 person i think would answer this in earnest so, what do you think the edge of the atmos is? So we obviously know about the far side being seperated by impassable mountains, but the other ends, do the sky cities stop and become a flatland? A desert? An ocean? The atmos has to be a continent right? But there has to be a point where they stop and different ecosystems begin. Are there other continents past the atmos that run on different rules? How would they cross the gap? What creatures or dieties rule in the other lands? Figured i'd ask you

This... this got long. Holy shit it got long. The readmore is there for a reason.

I noticed this ask when I was at work with about an hour left on my shift. You have no idea how tempted I was to make a video response to this question through pure enthusiasm and finally launch into my ambition of making YouTube videos about this cartoon XD

First of all, thank you so much for thinking of me, and I will absolutely answer this question with 100% earnest.

Secondly, I didn't really have an answer for this question until you asked it. Having full-on continents isn't really something I really felt a need for in Storm Hawks and Atmos, especially after I came up with headcanons to explain how Terras work and why they work that way. However this ask got me thinking :3

Let's start at the beginning. Atmos was made by a storm. Specifically the First Storm, believed to be the birth of a god of the same name, and the total destruction of an old world. Chaotic, destructive this newborn god shattered what would become Atmos into thousands of pieces and in its youthful madness it struck out at its elders. Death (aka Decay) lost an eye, Magic lost a heart that was flung into the path of a comet, which was one of the fire avatar's children. They caught fire like sparks to kindling. The howling drew the curiosity of the Flesh (aka Life), and the ire of the Manywing (the winds).

Whatever flat, unblemished world existed before this event is long gone and devoured by Decay, though it's possible a few traces of its inhabitants survived. Though they were changed by the energy of this great cataclysm. Atmos calls the descendants of these survivors the Giants.

"Storms made us. Storms tore us apart. And now storms will help us rebuild" - Master Cyclonis, Age of Heroes Pt. 2, timestamp ~13:05

Please ignore how YouTube absolutely bungled that auto caption, but this is the line that inspired the headcanon for an Atmos creation 'myth' (it is a very real event but gets heavily debated in-universe), which I've held onto for a good two or so years now.

This wave of destruction created the Wastelands, and Terras came about when pieces of raw crystal energy fell to Atmos and eventually formed giant crystal deposits, around which earth, dirt and stone formed, making way for new life such as plants and animals. So essentially Terras are giant crystal geodes. The type of crystal that makes up their core is likely to affect its climate, which is how I am able to get away with worldbuilding choices such as placing Blizaris on the same longitude as, say, Tropica.

Because of this, I never considered any actual continents on Atmos. The First Storm was an event of worldwide destruction, absolutely nowhere was left unscathed, so no matter how far someone travels, it's Terras all over.

But this ask got me thinking 'ok what if there was? Why would there be any?'

Well the answer is that a continent did survive the First Storm. Maybe more than one, but I want to focus on what you can find there, and that is giants.

Time to bring in Gundstaff. Fun fact, I made him despicable. But that's not what we're here to discuss.

Who the fuck is this man besides a crystal hoarder who gets robbed for plot??? In the three episodes he's in, for a total amount of screentime that I'm pretty sure doesn't exceed even five minutes, all we learn about him is that he hates people, is a giant, has a huge crystal collection, and his unnamed, blink-and-you-miss-it wife and child are presumably being held captive by Cyclonia. The only reason I'm not saying the wife and child are dead is because if they were, Gundstaff would likely have gone "fuck it, I'm working against you because you have nothing to hold over my head" long before Payback when he whoops ass for Piper.

RIP to Gundstaff's family, currently residing somewhere in the fridge. Photo seen in Payback.

Gundstaff's very existence, and that of his supposed familiy, brings up several questions. Why do we not see any other giants in Atmos? Why does the cast not seem to treat his existence like a total anomaly? Is he the last giant in existance? I personally don't think so. If that's the case, then where the hell are they all?? How far flung are they that we only see a single member of this race three times across 52 episodes over a space of at least 36 Terras if you count the ones that aren't physically visited in the show?

This is Gundstaff's home as seen in Five Days about 60 seconds in. It's... pretty small. Bro doesn't have a lot of space to move, and there's no sign of any other inhabitants, least of all any his size.

So where are the giants? Why is Gundstaff living in a place that doesn't feel very suited to his stature?

Because it's not really where he belongs.

The biggest landmasses in Atmos are the homelands of giants. There's space for them to move freely, they don't have to worry about crossing the Wastelands to get anywhere (though I do headcanon giants to have powerful innate magic that allows them to travel great distances without worry, and that the greatest of giants can grow to the size of Terras). I think these continents, aka Giant Country, are relatively flat and follow more 'logical' geology more akin to what we'd find in real life. I'm not set on what kind of climate it is just yet. Crystals are quite scarce here, as the ground isn't suitable for deposits to develop, so giants will venture out into the wider Atmos to gather resources. Some will stay long-term for various reasons such as for research, to make Champions (something of an 'art' among giants gifted with what I call "Artisan magic"), or because they were exiled.

I'm not sure why Gundstaff isn't living in Giant Country just yet. Maybe he was exiled, or he was staying in Atmos for research, or he and his wife were making plans to return to Giant Country with their child, but got torn apart by Cyclonia just before that plan was set into motion. If it weren't for his wife and child, I feel like Gundstaff would've returned to Giant Country long ago.

So to answer your question, I don't really think there is an 'edge' of Atmos. If it weren't for the Barrier Cliffs, if you travelled in one direction for long enough, you'd wind up back where you started without running into an 'edge'. But you might just find Giant Country, and that may as well feel like the edge of Atmos. It's quite different there.

I was not expecting to go this in-depth regarding this question, but this was a blast to figure out so thanks a ton for asking me about this Peregrine :3 I hope this answer satisfies you.

[nalyra-dreaming]

As a big fan of Daniel I’ve mixed feelings about the finale. Absolutely it was fun to see Daniel serve c*nt, loved his glasses and leather jacket. Very fun - I also feel his very energetic vibe definitely affirms that journalism/writing/publishing books that have an impact is his drug (as a certain maker affirmed earlier). But, where is his story going to go now???

Like I feel SO cheated at not only not seeing him being turned, but not seeing him having to adjust at all or struggle/cope with being a vampire? Time skips freaking sucks. Like that is a big change, and I wouldn’t expect them to do it in as much detail as Louis (good TV writers wouldn’t repeat themselves like that, and it wouldn’t be good writing) but I expected something? Like I already was feeling a bit annoyed at how Daniel’s trauma in San Francisco basically just become all about Louis’ and Armand’s dynamic. I didn’t expect DM to happen there (and I loved the episode) but I thought the emotional fallout would be bigger. Like Daniel gets half-a-scene(!) of being upset and devastated, and then the writers very transparently just uses this to make Daniel aggressively suspicious of Armand and as a way to foreshadow the level of Armand’s deception. Like Daniel was obviously angry, but even that was basically only shown as it was useful. I hate when plot is done at the expense of character. Of course when plot and character go hand in hand that is the best, but this wasn’t it?! Like if Rollins meant that Daniel was one of the two who needed the second interview to happen it barely makes sense. There’s only closure in the most shallow sense that Daniel got to find out that he was traumatized and that this did have a negative impact on his life (by an event he couldn’t consciously remember but feel). I presume that is what Rollins meant? It feels really(!) underwritten. Nothing wrong with the idea, but again basically just stated in explanatory dialogue about his exes and kids. Happy to hear a better take on this if anyone has one though? I want to be convinced to be more positive! Of course Daniel isn’t the main character, but I don’t think it’s too much to ask that he’s still treated as a three dimensional character.

I don’t know, I just feel upset now at the thought that Daniel’s mainly been turned at this point to become a vampire-chronicler for plot reasons… Like if DM had happened I would expect them to leave us a substantial hint. I’m freaking begging any higher power that Armand’s revulsion at creating a fledgling means something (and is not a red herring like the “you should fear the other one”). And that we’ll revisit it. But I just don’t have faith anymore… Praying that I’m wrong, but if Daniel spends the next season as only a narrative device I’m out (I don’t mind him being a narrative device if he also gets to be a character outside of that - to be clear). Waiting four years for any kind of plot to be resolved after it’s been introduced is too long frankly….(if they aren’t addressing this until season 4). So if we aren’t finding out about the turning or worse - there’s nothing more to it and we’ll get an independent DM plot which begins in pure spite then, I’m freaking sad!

I’m really sorry for the downer post, I just feel I needed to express some of my worries and frustration. Would love to hear what you think, as I’ve often found some comfort reading your blog <3 A more positive take is warmly welcomed! There’s a lot to like about this season, but I just feel a bit lost now… I just wish there was something substantial to hang on to (and the Alice stuff ain’t it)

He is not only turned to be the chronicler. Reread the interviews with Eric re Raglan James, too 😈

There will be a LOT going on. And I just shared the link to the ATx festival, where they also talked DM. Might be worth a watch?^^

It‘ll be alright. I would bet real money on it. They just do it their way.

[lilyeagle]

I made this Fuckass animation last night to ATTEMPT to cope with a bipolar episode but i ended up unfortunately really liking it for the way i portrayed the symbolism, so its also going here

However i dont think the tumblrians will understand so i have to explain. I cannot leave it up to interpretation 💔

Explaining this best i can: i will try to crack jokes to make the mood a bit lighter instead of this being a mopey yap sesh

Alot of you may look at this character combo and wonder what the hell was happening in my head when i made this. I promise there is reason for them, but as a short explanation as to why theyre even in the same room, all of my art is multifandom and consists of a wild crossover i started when i was little. Its my special interest 😛(i also literally cannot think of any art piece that doesn’t involve my special interest. Bear with me)

Buttercup was the very first character i’ve ever grown attached to, starting from a very young age. Like, barely conscious age. Before the day i drank McDonalds sprite with my nose and gained my conciousness

Frida is the most recent in my main cast of characters. Clone high got me through some WILD shit in 2023 and shes really helped me deal with it alot (so has jfk! I just decided to use him as a character before i did frida, as i obviously have seen season 1 first)

Both are alongside either my past self or present self. They find eachother standing across an open space from eachother, their past/present behind them

Past me is meant to represent when i was a little kid. Young, innocent, imaginative, and drawn in ‘crayon’.

Present me is represented with an eyeball for a head and in a very distressed state, because (not to get sappy) at most times my Bipolar makes me feel like ive lost my personality/sense of self entirely, and that i am just sortof watching a tv show when i am living my life and doing things. Nothing feels very Real chat

Despite all of that, present me still contains many of the traits past me did. I am imaginative, i can create, i still love to draw, i still have my love for characters, i am curious, yadda yadda yadda

But back to earlier, buttercup and frida (and the past and present) run into eachother in a seemingly empty mindspace, standing in frint of eachother.

Buttercup stares directly at frida, curious to know how the present is coming along, while frida doesnt make ANY eye contact, knowing that past is following behind buttercup. She doesn’t want to see it because Present cannot come to terms with everything thats happened to her, and past represents a state before it all. Buttercup well. She asks bro idk how to write that part (and also the Question out of buttercup are the Only words that would be spoken through this whole thing)

Theres no response out of frida, cause i wanted to keep her silent 😛 (hush little baby make no sound! ) she just simply moves out of the way to reveal Present

Buttercup isn’t expecting what she sees, and doesn’t know how to feel at first. However, her reaction comes across as negative, the past still innocently standing behind her

Frida ends up finally looking at buttercup and past, and it makes her Eyes pee i mean she Cries. It felt really weird to draw her crying because she doesn’t exactly. Do that. But i needed a way to show despite being alongside the drastically changed version of the past , the present was still very alike to the past in many ways, just like shes heard present deny constantly due to a fogged mindset. She feels sorry for the reaction she thinks she caused Buttercup, an innocent relic of the past, a child, to have

Buttercup thinks about it more watching the Frida in Tears in the corner (across from her) and ultimately realizes the same thing. Its still me. She gives frida a Biiiiig faatttt huuuggg instead of saying anything , and frida is suprised cause she thought buttercup Powerpuff Girl had a negative reaction😛

Present sees this and ALSO realizes for a bit that maybe they are still themself. Their head turns into a flower to represent calming down from the distressed state that will Inevitably come back again, and again, and again

Yeah thats pretty much it, idk. Sorry if this comes across as like cringe or anything, i don’t usually post my personal work a lot because im not usually very confident in it. I just liked the way this one in particular came out