#how has this post broken containment I didn't even tag it

[a-teacup-of-golden-cracks]

I'm incredibly hot and I use this power almost solely to fulfill my ultimate fetish

[nanjokei]

further guidance for newcomers coming from reddit

hi arriving redditors. here are some things i don't see most posts mention. this is for people who conquered the baby steps of joining the site. i think they're pretty important! also me clarifying on some stuff i've seen people word very vaguely consistently in their guides

under the cut because it's a chunky set of bullet points! with a few that also discuss how to keep yourself in a safe and fun browsing environment for yourself and others (mostly quality of life)

if you have any questions either send me an ask (anonymously is ok too) or reply to the post

you can enable a custom theme that shows on the web in your blog settings, if you so wish (blog settings > visibility) and then (custom theme toggle to on) this is the classic tumblr experience, but it's ok to want to hide your blog from the public. however you won't be able to link stuff on your blog to people without tumblr accounts

you can find custom tumblr themes by searching resource blogs like theme hunter or just in the tags in general (like "tumblr theme" or just "theme" and see where the other tags you may find to refine your search takes you)

tumblr is currently trying to enact changes to appeal to "new users" that make the website less friendly to its current inhabitants, such as fucking with quality of life and muscle memory and even stuff integral to the culture of the site. if you see people complaining, i highly advise against going "this sounds kind of nothingburger" and assisting in sending tickets to support the drive against such changes

there is a 250 post per day limit. you probably won't hit it though.. maybe? but people used to make post limit blogs (seperate email) for that. but that is for heavy usage users.

you can make as many sideblogs as you want. you are free to divulge whether or not it's you. of course use common sense to gauge whether or not it matters. but side blogs can be anything: maybe you want to categorize things, maybe you wanna make one into a huge fan page/blog for a specific hobby/celeb/show/game/etc, maybe a quieter space, maybe posts you feel don't belong on your blog, maybe even a blog where you reblog resources to exclusively. the possibilities are endless! (maybe not for porn, it's a little harder to skirt by these days even with muh community labels)

a lot of posts are incredibly vague about whether or not you can leave comments on reblogs. i think it truly depends. for example, if it's praise for artwork, i feel like it is truly best left in the tags. the artist can see it still! it shows up in their notifs when you reblog. in comparison, when it comes to funny text posts and pictures, you can comment as you like, but consider TPO (time place occasion). it helps to check the notes (comments only filter) to see if the quip or comment you wanna make has already been made or if OP made further comments later. again, it's a call to use your judgement and everyone has a different tolerance for this kind of thing

i see many people or perhaps most came from LGBTQ+ centric subreddits so i am surprised i'm not seeing this mentioned often: there are unfortunately a lot of terfs here. please stay safe. install shinigami eyes and engage in blocking sprees whenever possible.

in account settings, not blog settings, there is a section called "content you see". it has filtered tags and filtered post content. the difference is filtered tags is specifically for tags, for example, if you want to hide a certain show you don't like, you can have the site apply a peek-a-boo filter on it (this content contains #TAG, as in click to view). you ask, what if the person on my dash doesn't tag it as that? that's fine! it also takes into account the original poster's tags. the OP didn't tag it? then filtered post content might help. MIGHT. it's pretty helpful and unlike twitter's mute list, as far as my experience, it is not broken. for example, if you write [SHOW NAME THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE] in plain letters (with aliases as seperate entries just to be safe) it will filter any post that has the words in the body of the post. pretty useful! use this to curate your dash further or even filter out triggers.

speaking of tags. a lot of people are also vague about this. i'll say it clearly. you can add whatever tags you want to a reblog. there's no limit (aside from character lim per tag)! there's no social faux pas, unless you're being backhanded at someone's creative work, like reblogging just to dunk on it or going "i like the art but not the character" etc. when it comes to your own posts, try to avoid tagging irrelevant tags (for example, if you're making a lot of posts that are tangentially about cardcaptor sakura, think about if it belongs in the tag or not. think of it as whether or not it deserves an OC flair on reddit). again, people's tolerance differs, but especially on older media and slow tags people do not appreciate random tangential text posts (for example "i wanna watch ccs!" and nothing else)

in terms of culture, tumblr has a weird balance between "you can ask for context" and "lurk for 10,000 moar years". i would not know myself. i've been here for 12+ years *shrug* you'll have to gauge it for yourself. most things you can google "[tumblr user] callout" and figure out from there LOL (yes that's usually what happens). i DO encourage trying to garner it from context, especially for terms.

due to the looser moderation(?) on here, LGBTQ+ and other minorities use their own discretion reclaim slurs freely. join in, or put the slurs in your filters. it's fine not to join in as that's your personal comfort, but this is a heads up that the culture is like this since i'm not sure how the moderation is in places like r/196 are. (sorry i used reddit for entirely different things ><)

DO NOT TAG D0NATION POSTS WITH #D0NATION OR ANY OTHER VARIATION. this is SO important. it's best not to tag donation posts AT ALL. tumblr internally flags them and suppresses the post. just reblog silently (d0nate if you can) and move on (censoring just in case lol)

search is useless for finding specific posts. give up before you even try. your best bets are google, asking for help on the dashboard, or just hoping it shows up on your dashboard one day (it probs will, maybe not immediately when you need it though)

i called old tags "slow" but not dead earlier: tags Do Not Die (though some just kind of randomly get wiped or lose posts, idk, it is some post-2018 indexing weirdness) so you can find fanart and posts from 2012 and it's ok to reblog! the essence of tumblr is the continued circulation of people's creations

please do not repost screenshots of tumblr posts unless they are no longer accessible (reblogs locked for example) 😭 i am seeing this happen already. this is the one thing from reddit you're gonna have to let go of. twitter and other place screenshots are OK (probably, some people don't like them). but don't let your page look like one of those r/(etc) post aggregate bots on twitter is what i'm saying. once you explore a tag enough times you'll know what is usually appropriate to post (usually derivative meme templates are OK, but don't overdo it (tho this just falls under "dont spam") (also this is MY personal preference, so if the climate of the tag houses a lot of memes, go ahead!)

in general reposting content that isn't your's is kinda eh. especially reposting people's art without explicit permission. there are art reposters who in the modern day usually ask for permission, of course there are internet spelunkers who repost content from old web and dead sites. there's a lot of nuance, but i highly discourage reposting things you didn't make yourself unless it's stuff like official art and whatnot. photography and other stuff from other people, use your judgement. and as an aside i know "stolen memes" are r/196 and other meme subreddit cultures but it's not exactly appreciated here and i feel like if the reposting gets out of hand tumblr users might get real tired of it. the humor isn't really the same here in that sense, i suggest posting them in a sideblog that archives such things so they aren't lost and/or keeping them in your community tags. ofc no one can stop you!! but the whole highly derivative fried meme thing is very reddit. the culture could not be more different even if we are similar in many ways. i mean this in the nicest way possible >_< if you're not sure, DON'T REPOST.

this is just advice from me, but when liveblogging a show, it's nice to tag it with a unique tag, such as #[your name/nick] plays [game]. i find it's ok to tag series name to some posts that are more substantial, people are happy to see others enjoy what they love, but using a unique tag also helps people track YOUR liveblog since they may save the tag to look at :)

put your age or whether or not you're an adult somewhere where people can see, (and your pronouns too or lackthereof). whether or not if it's on your bio, or an about page, or a carrd. please. it's a matter of curation and safety. some people don't wanna follow minors by accident and vice versa, just as a means to curate their space

people write alt text and image descriptions in the post bodies pretty often. yes it's built into tumblr, but either some people forget or the feature... refuses to work that time. yes it's BROKEN. if you feel like you can contribute alt text for an image in an adequate fashion, go ahead!

try not to reblog people's personal posts. asking people never hurts!

you can restrict non-followers from replying to your posts, or turn off replies all together. as far as i know it's not possible for seperate posts unfortunately, just a blog-wide toggle. when replying to someone specifically, be sure to @ them so they can see it!

for a long time, only the first 5 tags you used in an original post mattered. a lot of people still repeat this, but in my experience this seems to have... changed?? i can't say for sure, but my posts appear in tags beyond the first five. just to be sure, tag the most relevant things first! (or not, if you have your own strategy LOL)

you're free to not tag trigger warnings (it's nice to do it for others tho especially if they ask) but please tag flashing images as such. #epilepsy warning, #flashing, #flashing image, #flashing, etc.

REPORT BOT BLOGS. it blocks them for you anyway. just blocking doesn't do anything for anyone

you can add other people to a sideblog to make it a group blog. this is how blogs with mods work, or even collectives, it has a lot of uses in general so have fun with it! be wary it requires getting someone's email so be safe about that and try to do it with people you trust.

this is advice from me since i noticed after publishing this post that a lot of reddit users don't tag things. you don't have to btw!! but my advice that brightens up the website: if you reblog cool art, writing, music or photography (taken by OP) and you like it a lot, i highly recommend leaving compliments in the tags. we live in an age where creative creation is increasingly unappreciated and people are quiet silent— creators get no feedback therefore no encouragememt to keep creating. this is more like a personal plea, but like to reblog ratios have become DIRE. people are apathetic and scared to interact with people's creations even though on here they are actively ecouraged to. if you like art or fic etc i even more highly recommend you reblog it. likes don't do anything! reblogs = more eyes on it. let's support each other's creative endeavors 🩷

don't fall for the trap of trying to make tumblr into reddit, or trying to recreate the feeling of a subreddit. it's not gonna work. try to adapt. it's easier said than done but lol. rome wasn't built in a day. operate your blog like your own space rather than trying to recreate a hub. the tolerance for trying to change tumblr culture is super low and a lot of people who are much meaner than me will probably try to bully the idea into the ground. and people DO get mean. (like playground namecalling, but people have no reservations about it, so it's stuff that would probably get you banned on reddit)

if your post gets traction and the note notifications annoy you, deleting the original post will make the notifs stop coming. a lot of people reblog the post to keep it on their blog then delete the original to effectively "mute" the notifications permanently.

[olderthannetfic]

https://olderthannetfic.tumblr.com/post/744363402559995904/reading-the-anon-abt-the-doll-hobby-not-having#notes

More BJD wank.

People using alcohol markers on their dolls. Just... don't.... don't do that. Also, people complaining that the alcohol marker doesn't wash off the doll anymore. Yeah, who'd have guessed that using alcohold markers on a highly porous material would end up not being removable. Also, don't use oils. Do not use any paint strippers that contain oil. And only use water soluble glue.

People who sell some of the most beat up looking dolls, chewed limbs, broken pieces, yellowed to hell and back. And then expect $$$ and even more than full price of a new doll. Generally it's not particularly offensive, but by the Gods if it doesn't get obnoxious when someone starts whining that nobody wants to buy their trash heap.

The fujoshi discussion was also quite ripe. It's no secret that probably 80%+ of the regular BJD hobby is women, and a lot of those women like men. The fujoshi discussion gets brought up ever few months? Years? And it's stupid every time. I remember the most recent incident being started again by a transman who took special offence to the large amount of M/M doll couples, and started getting angry when people dismissed his very misogynistic reasons as to why it's bad. Then tried to flip it around to homophobia and transphobia against him specifically, when all the people just told him to stop treating fujoshi as an insult and blah blah, you know the drill. People didn't buy it that he didn't just wanna admit defeat, but it kinda fizzled out when some other trans people entered the discussion, and some gay/bi men who also said that this was a stupid discourse. Also a few pretty heartfelt experiences by women explaining why they preferred male dolls over female dolls.

"Put a trigger warning on your amputee doll characters." Not a big discourse, but a few people talked about how they had gotten comments or DMs about tagging their dolls who represent amputees with trigger warnings. General consensus was "Fuck those people." To make this extra clear, these were just amputee characters, not horror or gore.

Did I mention Nazi dolls? Because there has been several rounds of drama around Nazi dolls. Most people agree that Nazi dolls, aka full Nazi uniform with the armband are a huge fucking no-go.... BUT, some people try to argue that "Well if you depict the doll as a disgusting pig wearing a Nazi uniform..." Yeah, that was a long wank session.

The honestly kinda an pointless argument about "Are you racist if your dark resin doll face-ups look ass?" The argument is basically around dolls with dark resin tones who receive... unfortunate face-ups. The issue here is that in many cases the people getting called racist are really just bad at doing face-ups, which is especially hard on dark resins because it's hard to layer colors without it looking ass if you don't know what you're doing, and the main medium is just pastel chalks. Combine that with sealants that might leave behind a whiteish sheen with the topcoat, and you end up with a real ashy dusty looking mess. While we're on face-ups, generally a lot of face-ups just objectively look like ass when you're not a professional face-up artist. It's just what happens when you don't know what you're doing and still learning, because you don't wanna spend $$$ on sending it to an actual artist. It's really fucking hard layering colors, and then painting over it to get details when you're just not that experienced yet.

Also thanks to the one person in my last anon mentioning "Dollshe" and his wait times: Dollshe is a doll maker who's infamous for his year long wait times, and constant "sales." Apparently the dude bought himself a big fancy car, while people were still waiting for their dolls. Some wait times have exceeded half a decade. Guess what though! People still decided to take the chance. He's apparently closed shop now, and there are probably high double or low triple digits of people who haven't gotten their dolls yet. Not sure what his average price point is/was, but a quick check, the front page is filled with dolls starting at 800 going up. (So like 700-1 500) https://olderthannetfic.tumblr.com/post/744582859159945216/744363402559995904reading-the-anon-abt-the-doll-h#notes Also, yes, Anon is 100% correct. Smartdolls are basically just considered "honorary" BJD's because they fall under the same idea as the VOLKs dolfie dreams, and their creator just copied the idea. But generally, most people wouldn't refer to SMD's when speaking about BJDs, unless specified. Since they are vinyl you do not have the same artistic freedom as you have with resin dolls, which you can customize heavily with various mediums. They also aren't as available for custom face-ups, and apparently the creator has a bit of an ego problem when it comes to that as well. Another piece of drama: The joints of these dolls are internal skeletons as already explained. The problem a lot of people faced is that the joints would break quickly during posing. Under normal circumstances you'd maybe assume you could get some customer service to replace the broken joint, or at least be able to buy one for free. WRONG. You had(have?) to buy the entire skeleton just to replace one broken joint. I also think there was a time where you couldn't even get a replacement skeleton, and were left with a broken doll. Fun fact: Originally the "Smartdolls" were also supposed to be robotic, that's what the "Smart" originally referred to. That then got downgraded to a concept doll that got a bit of automated head shaking and limb moving, which then ended up with the creator backtracking and claiming "Smart" stood for "Social media art doll." Also, while we're at it, he also made a cochlear implant disability device for his dolls. A pretty significant amount of HOH/Dead-BJD people criticized the inclusion of said device because of some medical issues of it. And guess what! Banhammer. I also re-checked the story of the disabled person who got banned, and then made the creator post a "They aren't made for disabled people." The doll the disabled person struggled with was a male doll, but because the male dolls were so rare, they didn't have a male skeleton, but the female standard. Meaning the skeleton inside the male doll shell was female, and the skeleton didn't properly match up with the vinyl male-doll shell. Which was one of the main reason they struggled so badly to reattach the limbs. Bonus story: The creator has a real culty following, he has/had joined a few facebook groups around smartdolls. Apparently people noticed a pattern that he'd throw random tantrums in the groups, leave, and then the entire group had to grovel and praise him to get him to rejoin.

--

[m-jelly]

Oh! Idea! It’s kinda sad though

Can you make a Levi x reader where the reader was like this powerful immortal warrior who was well renowned throughout the walls (she remembers a time before titans and the walls existed).she meets Levi after she saves kuchels life (yes she’s alive in this,as are Isabel and farlen).Levi is not a fan of her at first as he thinks she is stuck up and doesn’t see them as people because there from the underground but as they get to know each other through expeditions and daily tasks at scout headquarters he warms up to her and eventually is crushing hard.on a night of them just talking and stargazing on the roof she reveals that she knew there from the underground and doesn’t really care and actually really admires him and how strong he and the others are to have lived through that as she was in a similar situation as a child (think original!Ymir as a slave) and she knows how hard it is to fight and get out of that sort of situation and unfortunately she didn’t have

Someone like Erwin to help her escape and had to claw her own way out of the slums of her homeland (a nameless kingdom that has long since fallen ). The ending is super fluffy and maybe smexy 😏 ? Where Levi worships her body and her scars and tells her how proud of her he is that she survived for so long

So, this is a lot of parts being asked for and is almost a long fic ask. I'm going to say that everything in your ask has happened and I'm going to pick it up after the war has ended. I hope that's okay!

Things are different

Pairing: Post-War!Levi x Fem!Reader

Genre and tags: canon AU, fluff, slight angst, romance, heart-to-heart, talking, connecting, lifespan change, suggestive, beginnings of smut, body worship.

Concept: After Eren was killed and the titan curse is broken, your immortality also ended. You slowly come to terms with your new life and try to wrap your head around life as a mortal. You open up to your lover, Levi, and let him into your heart and soul. You two connect even more and begin to remind each other of the love you share.

Note: This story contains suggestive material.

Tag list: @levisbrat25 @ladycheesington @skittlelover69 @nbinairyn @nyxiieluna @galactict3a @notgoodforlife @li-anne @strawberrybunny123 @demonsimp6

You smiled softly at Levi's deep voice vibrating through the house as he spoke to his mother and two friends, all had been saved from a tragic fate because of you. You were happy that Levi had so many around him and the titans didn't devastate those around him.

Your cheeks burned when the door closed as your guests left. Your heart throbbed in your chest as Levi's heels tapped on the wooden floor and got closer to you. You blushed as you kept cutting up veg for a nice meat pie.

His feet came to a stop and he observed you. He could see you were a little flustered by him. He loved that after all these years he made you giddy with love. He watched you closely before placing his hand on your bum and kissing your cheek.

You smiled softly and enjoyed the affectionate act. You gasped when you felt a sharp pain coming from your finger. "Ow." You looked down and saw you'd sliced your finger a little. "Oh..."

Levi grabbed your wrist and lifted your hand. "You okay? Let me look." He inspected and hummed as you remained quiet. "Doesn't look deep. Let me take care of you."

He guided you to the sink and cleaned the wound. He grabbed his aid kit and placed some ointment on your wound before wrapping it up. He checked the rest of your hand before sitting you down and cleaning up the blood.

He finished up and noticed you'd still not said a single thing yet. He looked over at you to see you were staring at the bandage on your finger. He felt his heart sting with worry. You'd had moments where you'd stare off into the distance. You were different ever since Eren died and all those cursed were freed.

Levi dragged a chair close and sat before you. He held your hands and smiled softly as he spoke your name to you and grabbed your attention. He tilted his head a little and smiled again when you locked eyes with him. He gave your hands a gentle squeeze.

He kissed your cut finger. "Talk to me."

You welled up a little. "It's just...before when I got cut, I would heal quickly and a scar would be left, but now I just bleed and stay cut for a while." You frowned for a while. "It just got me thinking. I'm mortal now and before I was, I used to just throw myself around with little care. I am covered in scars from me not protecting myself better because I just thought I'm immortal and I'll be okay." You shook your head. "It's not the case anymore. Things are dangerous and I need to take better care of myself." You sniffed a little. "Forgive me for getting emotional. This has taken me a while to face."

Levi softly kissed your lips. "Don't be sorry, okay? This is a big change for you. You went from not being able to die to be able to. You went from crying about not being able to grow old with me to worrying that you might die before me."

You laughed a little and rubbed your tears away. "Must be so stupid to you."

"Not at all. You're an incredible woman." He massaged your hands. "It must have been so hard to be alone all those years and to watch so many die." He sighed. "It was hard for me to see some scouts die, but countless people?" He kissed your hands. "I love you. I'm never going to leave you and I'll make sure you're protected."

You rubbed your tears as you smiled. "Levi, you need looking after and protecting. You have injuries."

He placed his hand on your heart. "So do you." He smiled softly. "Just because your wounds aren't visible doesn't mean they don't hurt."

You sniffed a little. "Thank you."

He kissed you before standing. "Let's finish dinner together."

You smiled softly before joining your husband in the kitchen and making the rest of the pie. You started making the sides and the drinks as Levi set the table up. You dished out dinner and sat with your man as you chatted about simple things.

After eating, Levi cleaned up and made you sit in the living room with a book. You wrapped up in a blanket and cradled your tea cup in your hands. You smiled at your husband when he climbed under the blanket and joined you for cuddles.

Levi kissed your temple as his hand began to wander over your thighs. "You're perfect."

You blushed. "Thank you, but I'm not sure."

He leaned closer and kissed your neck. "You really are."

You hummed a little. "Levi." You gasped when his hand drifted up high between your legs. "Mm, Levi."

He pressed his lips against yours and lowered you down against the sofa. His fingers tangled in your hair as he massaged your scalp. His tongue skillfully moved against yours as you were led to bubble-filled happiness inside you. You were in utter bliss.

Levi pulled back and sighed. "I love you so much. You are perfect and being with you, meeting you, marrying you and spending the rest of my life with you is the best thing to ever happen to me."

Your cheeks burned at Levi's sweet words. "My life is better with you. You are the only one I have left in this world. I love you and I'll forever be yours. I know my life will be scary now that I'm not immortal, but I know you'll be there for me every step of the way."

"Always." He slowly popped the buttons on your shirt to reveal your wonderful body. He sighed as he took in your soft skin with some scars. "You are incredible."

"I have a lot of scars. They remind me that I was careless."

Levi leaned down and kissed a few. "They show me how hard you worked to survive." He moved his hands up your body and unclipped your bra. He removed it and looked down at your body. "You are so beautiful."

"But..."

He captured your lips. "I love you and I'm so proud of you."

You welled up. "Really?"

"So fucking proud."

You wrapped your arms around Levi and pulled him down for a passionate kiss. "I love you, Levi. I'm proud to be with you and love you." You played with his hair and hummed a laugh. "Now, please make love to me."

Levi growled against your lips and started kissing down your body. "Oh, I will, my darling." He kissed your pelvis making you blush. "But first, I eat."

[audioandart]

Tumblr (seems to be) Actively Censoring Pro Palestinian Posts

So as many people who are invested in the genocide happening in Gaza right now have noticed, Tumblr seems to be actively censoring any posts that are pro Palestine. There's the evidence we all seem to be aware of, such as the suppressing of related tags and keeping them from trending, but I've noticed some smaller things as well.

(Also, if you're wondering why it's "seems to be", it's because I'm very sure that's what's happening but I don't like to speak in absolutes. So take this as "I'm 100% sure it's being censored but I can't literally read the code rn or anything so MAYBE-". Giving them the benefit of the doubt I suppose 😔)

So the first thing that's really been noticed is how many times the pro Palestine tags are suddenly gone from trending, even though they're definitely being basically flooded with posts and reblogs and whatnot. They'll be trending and pretty quickly, (like sometimes within a couple hours?) even though the amount is still high, it'll suddenly no longer be on trending. Definitely take my timeline here with a grain of salt because my perception of time is wack, (it's the autism) but I've seen many people point it out so I know I'm not completely losing my mind.

There's also the fact that many accounts supporting Palestine seemed to have some shadow ban issues. This has happened with a few different stances/issues with this website and I didn't see it a whole bunch for Palestine (though I'm like 85% sure at minimum that's simply because I'm not the best at noticing the accounts regularity of posting or anything so if it wasn't pointed out to me I wouldn't have noticed them being gone. This is also partially the autism, what you gonna do 🤷‍♀️). Shadow banning is, in my opinion, one of the most despicable ways to attack a cause because information is of course one of the most important things for this sort of thing. To shut down a source of info simply because you don't agree with it is terrible, (especially if the info is true,) and to do it quietly so either no one notices or if they do notice, the info provider can't explain why or what happened is, again, despicable. Especially when some of the info providers are currently in an area where people are legitimately being killed daily, no, HOURLY, so for all you know they've been killed. I definitely don't want to be seen as overreacting or anything, but I will say that not too long ago, an account I kept tabs on had been shadow banned, and one of the very real worries I had was something bad had happened to them. I'm not getting into any specifics but this wasn't even related to Palestine, and maybe I have a penchant for drama or overreacting but I know people worry, and people care, and I'd rather people care and nothing bad have happened than people be apathetic and something terrible happen.

I've recently discovered a new way Tumblr seems to be censoring, and that's claiming a post contains filtered tags. I have a few tags filtered, completely unrelated to Palestine or Gaza or Israel or even politics, and yet I've seen Tumblr claim multiple posts have tags I have filtered on them. I've also only got like 2 tags filtered, for reference I guess. 2 of the at least 7 posts Tumblr has claimed I have filtered, that were in fact not something I have filtered, were not related to Palestine. TWO. That means FIVE of the posts WERE related to Palestine, and all of them were pro Palestine of course. This is the tactic I'm least sure on, because it's totally possible it's coincidence rather than causation, (I keep track of lots of pro Palestine stuff so it's more likely they're gonna get the broken tag thing,) but the thing that's making me lean towards it being deliberate is that issue/glitch didn't start happening until AFTER I'd been invested in the Palestine stuff, for a little while in fact.

So, Tumblr. Do what you will with this post. Maybe you'll ignore it because I'm a small poster. Maybe you'll try to punish me for it. Maybe it'll even get taken down (which I believe some pro Palestine posts have as well but I'm far less knowledgeable on that so I'm not going to get into it.) I used to avidly support you. I used to be remorseful about being too poor to support you. But as sure as the sun will rise, the rivers and sea fill the land with green, the Palestinians survive, know that regardless how much you censor, people will keep talking. They'll talk, and protest, and SCREAM into the void if they have to, because this is wrong. Try to keep people quiet, they will never stay that way.

(PS. I don't currently have any pictures because I'm too silly to remember to screenshot things but I'll add them if I get some.)

[tarnishedxknight]

{out of dalmasca} Just FYI, I randomly overhauled my pinned post and some other things for this blog even though I'm not schedule to be here today. It was long overdue, heh. The way I write/organize muses on this blog has changed a lot, and I wanted to include at least something on the Dark!Ivalice AU in the pinned post, since it is taking me forever to write that whole big behemoth of an AU up. Now it's more representative of how I've been running things here for any new followers.

I also overhauled my other "about the blog," "about the mun," and "rules" pages a bit, because I realized most of them still contained outdated information, info only about Basch and no one else, and didn't include Fortress in my list of media I've checked out for FFXII. Basically, this blog just needed a good dusting from top to bottom, haha.

If you write with me very regularly on this blog, there isn't much different about it that you need to know, but I just wanted to let everyone know I changed it up a bit. All the "About" and "Verses" posts for the muses are still linked from my pinned post.

I wish I could just make this blog a FFXII multimuse, instead of dealing with "main," "side," and "alternate" muses. Working off a "current muses" list like over on my other mumu would better organized and less confusing for new followers. I love this url, though, and I'd hate to change it. I'd also have to change all the muse tags and reroute links to their "About" and "Verses" posts through a separate post, and I'm much too lazy to do that. I didn't plan on writing anyone else but Basch when I started this blog, that's the problem, haha, but I guess if this system works for all of you, I'll leave it the way it is. XD

In the meantime, if anyone notices anything wrong/outdated, any broken links, or thinks anything is particularly confusing as far as how all the info is organized on this blog, please let me know so I can fix it. =)

[murder-incarnate]

got the cutscene you get by casting Heal on durge so it's time to yell about my girl. some general backstory talk, centered on abaddon specifically though some details can apply to all durges. rambly, as i often am

abaddon realizing that there was a time BEFORE the Urge (at the same time she remembers her late foster family) would be. so hard. she has this realization like a day or two after the whole shindig at the temple of bhaal, so being free of the Urge is still real new to her. post-amnesia pre-disinheritance, she literally has no recollection of a time when she didn't have the Urge compelling her, didn't have a constant stream of violent compulsions and fantasies pretty much only broken by sleep containing violent nightmares. after a certain point in her travels she starts to assume that's just How It's Always Been, especially after the bhaalspawn reveal. clearly this has just always been a part of her. she starts assuming there's no other way to exist. so being revived post-bhaal to a quiet brain is fucking revolutionary. didn't know it did that! didn't know it could! in a way it's a relief to know that there's enough of her to exist outside of the Urge, that it's not so essential to Who She Is that she can't continue Being. doesn't fully know how to process that but it's nice. gets to figure out who she is now.

but. learning that it WASN'T always there. that there was a time when she was a normal kid and not just murder on two legs. that's... better? worse? mostly it just makes her sad. and angry. mostly sad. like, okay, so the Urge came later, it was activated, maybe still a part of her in a way but confirmed not essential. nice to have a little extra bit of separation. abaddon still tries to take responsibility for the horrors she committed, what she can and can't remember, but it's at least a little comforting knowing it wasn't ALL her, in a way. there was Influence. but at the same time, fuck. that normalcy was taken from her. this clear mind she has now, she could've ALWAYS had it if the Urge never awakened inside her. she could've lived a normal life with a foster family she can only remember slivers of now. so, so many people could still be alive, wouldn't have suffered because of her at least. she wouldn't have this blood on her hands or these horrible memories. this knowledge that even if she's better now, she was a monster for a long time. the Urge caused so much pain and destruction that could've been avoided if she'd just stayed a normal kid. and that fucking hurts! it's a feeling of loss, almost. longing for a life bhaal didn't allow her to have.

i think even before the Urge awakened, abaddon had violent inclinations. she was still bhaalspawn in the truest sense, and violence was natural to her. but it wasn't overpowering and constant and obsessive the way it became later. as a baby she was more impulsive, harder to deal with, bit and scratched and kicked and hit, but a loving adoptive family helped. taught her compassion, taught her kindness. and i think beyond the impulses, kindness came naturally to her, too. she was a sweet kid. especially gentle because she knew her impulses were mean and she took extra care not to be. it was a conscious effort not to lash out, but she didn't think much of it. you have to be nice and good even when it's easier not to be. that's what good people do, and her parents were raising her to be a good person. she WANTED to be good.

(the description of her being a lion but with a gentle tag touch ruined me a little. little abaddon with the capacity for violence but who chose to be kind and play nice!)

and then the Urge awakened. very suddenly, i think. the quiet background noise she'd learned to easily ignore became a roar, turned from distant, idle thoughts into active need. her blood was boiling and her head was pounding and she was overwhelmed. she didn't understand what was happening, she was scared and confused and starving for something she'd never had and didn't know how to get. i think she sought out her parents, because what else would a kid do when something scary is happening?

i think when she found them, she was only in control of herself in the loosest sense. she didn't know how to resist when her body started moving to enact the violent images in her mind. she didn't have the time to THINK about resisting. hell, at first she didn't even know she was about to do something she had to resist. she just saw her family and started moving. grabbed a knife from the kitchen and. well. y'know. as a sorcerer magic was probably a feature but the knife was the star tbh

partly because of this one note that can be found in the temple, i picture violence and murder especially basically just exploding all the pleasure centers in abaddon’s brain once the Urge is active. just absolutely drown her in dopamine. a reward. a treat. brain loves murder. as an adult, she learns to manage the craving and her reaction to indulging, at least somewhat, so she doesn't just lose complete control. most of the time. but it was the first time abaddon had ever experienced this feeling and any horror at what she was doing (certainly plenty of that) was drowned out by the oppressive need for More. i picture her wide eyed and horrified with tears streaking down her face as she slashes and stabs over and over again. keeps stabbing after the movement stops.

it's implied by the narrative that abaddon wasn't the only child in the family, and that she killed them to. i'm picturing a brother. so either him coming into the room at all the commotion or her mechanically seeking him out after their parents.

when it was all done, after she tired herself out, i think she was still equal parts hysterical and feral. none of it felt real and she hoped it was a dream but she wasn't waking up. still scared, more confused now than at the start because she didn't understand why that felt GOOD when she felt so horrible about doing it. i think the butler showed up around that point to introduce himself and praise her and whisk her away to the temple. and dodge a few attacks (that he also praised, love that enthusiasm, excellent, keep practising and you'll be killing me in no time, master!!) since she was still freshly in Murder Mode. she was still scared and confused, especially now that this little imp dude showed up all excited about the murder, but like. SOMEONE seemed to know what was going on, and he was an adult pleasantly and confidently telling her what to do when she'd never felt more lost, and what else was she going to do? stay there? she killed everyone who was there. so of course she went with him. though i do like the idea of her shakily telling him she was told not to go anywhere with strangers and him like hmm i wonder who told you that with a pointed glance at the bodies on the floor. abaddon giving just a little hiccup in response.

i won’t go too much into what happens after because that's another post and this one has already spun out of control. but abaddon didn't have much of a chance at defying her Urge after that. her only influences were people who eagerly encouraged her to give in and praised her when she did, and her body was now hard-wired to respond very positively to murder and violence and blood and gore. i think the feeling bad about it lasted a little longer and she did weakly try to hold back and Be Good, but. she was a kid. she was fighting alone against multiple internal and external forces. she was actively being brainwashed. she didn't stand a chance. eventually the feeling bad would stop, partly as a defense mechanism and partly because she was being told NOT to feel bad. i don't think she ever felt GOOD about her family, or looked back on the memory with much fondness, it was too traumatic to fully salvage. but she would try to spin it into some kind of positive. it was the start of something she came to enjoy, the introduction to a new life, the introduction to her father. it had to happen. it was good that it happened. she stopped missing them eventually, mostly because she aggressively avoided thinking about them. letting herself feel any guilt or grief over this first kill could have sully her feelings over the rest of her kills and she wouldn't allow that. if anyone but the butler asked about her first kill, she probably cited a different early experience so she could more happily share the details. also just sounds better to describe a time she was in actual control of herself.

god what was my original point. i was talking about abaddon realizing she had a life before the Urge and the tragedy of losing that. so this is all kinda related. i don't think she ever gets back all of these memories, the most she'll ever get are bits and pieces. roughly sixty years are just lost to her. but the bits she DOES get of her life, and her life before bhaal, it just. it makes her sad. sad for that kid having so much fun playing tag. where would she be now if she'd gotten the chance to be normal.

okay that's enough, post over

[multifandom-worlds]

I posted 331 times in 2022

That's 331 more posts than 2021!

236 posts created (71%)

95 posts reblogged (29%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@otome-and-fanfiction

@little-butterfly-writes

@thoughtkick

@times-muse-immemorial

@crystalcrystalcrystal

I tagged 218 of my posts in 2022

Only 34% of my posts had no tags

#mr love queen's choice - 189 posts

#mr love - 179 posts

#evol x love - 176 posts

#mr love: queen's choice - 176 posts

#victor mlqc - 134 posts

#victor li - 129 posts

#li zeyan - 124 posts

#victor - 97 posts

#mlqc fluff - 68 posts

#mlqc gavin - 43 posts

Longest Tag: 48 characters

#youre not useless whatever your birth giver says

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Victor’s Mental Health

This was inspired by @thedummysdummy​. It contains some mild spoilers about very early game.

Victor….is a broken man. He hides it behind his poker face and iron grasp on his emotions but he is a broken man.

Victor has faced a lot of hardships in his life, watching a girl younger than him risk her life to save him, his mother's death, the grind of work. He thought he had everything under control, but then you came around again.

He was convinced you died, hell you were dying in his arms. He made peace with the fact you were gone and he never got a chance to thank you for the sacrifice you made. He made peace with that, he moved on but then when he saw you again. 

When he laid eyes on you - adult you - all those feelings came flooding back to him, all the guilt, the longing, the happiness, the sadness, all of it. It hit him like a tidal wave and that carefully constructed wall he built over the years came toppling down in an instant.

For the longest time, he denied it. It can't possibly be you, you died. You died in his arms. There's no way, it has to be someone that looks like you. But the more and more you came to his office, the more he knew. But with having you back came a whole different feeling than he's had before.

Sure, he's felt love and fear but not like this. This was intense. Deep down, he still carried that guilt that he survived and you didn't. Except you did. You're standing there, right in front of him in his office. 

Every time you left his vision, panic and fear would rise in his heart - was that the last he saw of you? He would keep a straight face and face the world like every other day but as soon as he got home, the tears would fall. He would try to compose himself but he wouldn't be able to, the fear of losing you again was far too great. That's when he would text you or call you. He would play it off as work related but it was all an excuse to talk to you again so he knew you were still alive. 

Even now the feelings of panic and fear when you leave are still there, just less intense than before. 

He fears when a storm rolls in and the lightning flashes across the sky. You could be right there, in his arms, in his bed, safe but he will still be remembering that day, that day you sacrificed yourself for him. He'll go on and on about how he didn't deserve it, you were so young, you had so much to live for compared to him. 

That would be one of the few times you saw this man weak. He never wants to show his weakness to you, he has convinced himself he has to be the strong one, he's going to protect you this time. 

All in all, Victor is broken, regardless of what he shows us on the outside.

88 notes - Posted February 25, 2022

#4

Hi can i have S/O sitting on Victor lap headcanon. Please, drink a lot of water honey💋

Thank you so much doll! I mean the water I didn't drink much of. Which is probably why I've had raging headaches all week 😅

Thank you so much for your patience on this one! This week has been brutal for school work. I hope you enjoy!

-----------------------------------------------

Lap Sitting

Victor absolutely adores when you sit on his lap, regardless of where he is. Maybe just don't do it when he's in a meeting.

He will always have at least 1 arms around you at all times when you're on his lap

He doesn't mind if you're face him or not, he's just happy having you close by him

If you're facing him, he looks to jist stare at your face, taking in and committing the details of your face to memory

Memorizing the exact colours in your eyes.

If you have your back to him, he will rest his chin on your shoulder, breathing in the scent of your shampoo.

He'll play with your hair if you let him while just holding you close.

He'll happily let you sit on his lap if you two are watching a movie, that way if you fall asleep, you'll be easier to move to the bed.

Don't worry about thinking you're to heavy - you're not

^ have you seen this man's thighs? Thighs of steal

Lots of innocent touches - he'll draw little circles on your back, your hips, stomach, whatever body part you allow him to touch.

Shoulder kisses (low-key my favourite)

112 notes - Posted April 1, 2022

#3

The Boys Reactions to You Pulling an All Nighter

Victor:

Is not pleased. At all

He woke up at 3am to find you weren't in bed beside him

You told him you would go to bed at 11pm

He gets up to investigate and finds you in front of your laptop, on his desk in the office still working

He clears his throat, leaning against the doorway, catching your attention.

"You were supposed to come to bed 4 hours ago. Why are you still working?"

You tell him it's because you're on a time limit to get this done but he doesn't care, you need your sleep.

He comes over, making sure what you're working on is saved and closes your laptop.

Picks you up and carries you to bed with him and makes sure you cannot get back out of bed until you've slept.

Lucien:

More confused than anything.

He comes home late from the lab late to find you still awake, at the kitchen table, laptop open in front of you.

He double checks the time - you're usually asleep when he gets home

"What are you doing still awake?"

You explain you have work you need to finish, he nods in understanding but still tries to coax you to bed.

When you decline, rather stubbornly, he takes matters into his own hands.

None to gracefully, he picks you up and tosses you over his shoulder before closing your laptop, making sure your work was saved.

"You're going to sleep. Goodnight, butterfly"

Gavin:

More concerned than anything else

He got home around 4:45 in the morning from a mission, tired and sore

He expected to crawl into bed with you and sleep the next day away but when you were sitting at the table doing work, that plan was dashed

"You should be sleeping, pumpkin. Is something wrong?"

He sits down beside you, checking you over to make sure you weren't hurt

You explain you have a due date that's approaching faster than you anticipated

Gavin nods, making you a cup of whatever hot beverage you requested and stays awake with you, either until it's done or you get to tired

Kiro:

Snack time?

See the full post

126 notes - Posted April 10, 2022

#2

Hi hope you’re doing well Could you write headcanons for reader who keeps on stealing Victor clothes please? i'm doing this favor for my friend she is a victor fan she doesn't have tumblr account

Thank you so much for your patience, doll. I was thinking of this one all well, I love it! I hope you do too!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Stealing His Clothes

Due to the height difference between you and Victor, his clothing - shirts in particular - are giant on you.

They're basically dresses

It started with stealing one of his t-shirts to sleep in when he was going to be gone for a month on business. You asked if you could have a shirt of his to hold and sleep with while he was gone.

He may have thought it was silly but indulged you anyway - big mistake

You loved the way the shirt hung off your body, falling off one shoulder

You sent him pictures one night before bed, the hem of the shirt reaching about upper thigh

He loved it - didn't realize how much he was going to love seeing you in his clothing and he made the mistake in telling you such

You basically lived in his shirt the whole time he was gone

You took it off to wash it and when you went to work but that's not the point.

It got to the point it's just a game now for you two

As soon as Victor takes off an article of his clothing, you swoop in and put it on, laughing at how it basically swallows you whole!

Victor now buys extra t-shirts because he knows you're going to confiscate one so he needs a backup for himself

131 notes - Posted April 2, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

How the boys cuddle/sleep with MC

Victor:

Protection

"The sweetheart cradle" - her head on his chest, her arm around his body, his arm around her body

Usually waits until she's asleep before he falls asleep

Forehead kisses

Her head on his lap (when watching TV/movies)

Absent minded hair playing with

Lucien:

The sweetheart cradle similar to Victor

Tells MC stories so she can fall asleep

Usually doesn't sleep so he watches her sleep

Her head on his shoulder

Forehead/temple kisses

Gavin:

SPOONING

V protective - must keep her close

^ also she can't see him blushing

Her legs over his lap

Tries to stay awake until she falls asleep but fails

Kiro:

Also spooning

Does not wait until she's asleep

All the kisses and playing with hair

Lounge chair - She sits between his legs, back against his chest

Shaw:

Leg hug)legs intertwined

Pretends not to like cuddling - secretly craves it

Leaning against him, his arm around her

Stealing secret glances at her

141 notes - Posted February 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[noven-warsh]

I posted 151 times in 2022

That's 151 more posts than 2021!

36 posts created (24%)

115 posts reblogged (76%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@turquoisemagpie

@chaseisglitched

@isa-ghost

@fear-is-nameless

@rogue-of-broken-time

I tagged 122 of my posts in 2022

Only 19% of my posts had no tags

#jacksepticeye - 42 posts

#jse iris - 24 posts

#antisepticeye - 15 posts

#chase brody - 10 posts

#noven speaks - 7 posts

#goncharov - 6 posts

#project iris - 6 posts

#antispeticeye - 6 posts

#my art - 5 posts

#marvin the magnificent - 4 posts

Longest Tag: 128 characters

#i legit had a genius idea where after the end of every episode you'd have this small video game-esque “report” of where jack was

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

So with the whole thing about Anti's tootsies remember that one Ashi Wash vid where the ending was all

13 notes - Posted December 4, 2022

#4

Just Watched Mandela Catalogue Vol.4, gonna talk about it

SPOILERS

Seeing the reveal that Adam was an alternate and the Intruder was Stanley has me SHOOKETH

Dave was able to see someone no one was able to see, what a lucky boi /j

Also Gabriel sounds so fucking goofy I can't- (/pos)

THEY KILLED OFF DAVE I- HELP-

At this point just listening to Thatcher is depressing. Just-man it's hard not to pity him

"A scared boy with a gun. Sound familiar?" AYO

"That's why Evelin left you" AYO

Face Studio 2 looks sus af like you're telling me I have to give you my parents phone number to make my face sing 'WAKE ME UP WAKE ME UP INSIDE'-

anyways this is the end thanks yall for listening

14 notes - Posted November 26, 2022

#3

Why do I imagine all the contained Subject-ALTRs (even the malicious ones/ones that are planning to escape) and anomalies all going (chuckles nervously) "what is going on?" when the sirens start blaring and Anti pulls up and hops out at the after party

15 notes - Posted November 5, 2022

#2

I wanted to do @tracobuttons dtiys but exams and procrastination killed my progress so now you have this weak-as-hell floating dude and my concept wip

Gonna talk about the failed art now

-> This was the first time I drew feet and I'm flustered that its with this one (I'm gonna blame Anti for this mf decided it was a good idea to be barefoot)

-> The weird ass shading was supposed to be a base? guiding pont? (idk something) that would give me a good idea to render and stuff

-> Listening to "Malmo" by Mook and "First Death" by TK while arting was a vibe ngl

-> I was losing faith in it mannnn

-> The hair was kinda the hard part becuase I didn't know how to draw his hair now and stuff

-> I had to erase an ear because it DIDN'T ALIGN I-HELP

-> If you've seen the last time I tried to draw him youd know how I was lazy/unconfident in drawing dudes with beards so uh-yeah when I learned I could do a simple blank face I claimed it without hesitation

-> really like the colors

33 notes - Posted December 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Thinking about how the whole "Don't stop, don't look, don't listen- just keep going"

Imagine how effective it would be for other subjects to survive if they follow this, especially against someone like ALTR-114209 who thrives off of attention

(all I'm imagining is someone pulling a georgenotfound and sleeping through the chaos and somehow lives because they were sleeping)

52 notes - Posted December 6, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[abimess]

Theories for Wanda's future in the MCU

As I mentioned in my previous post (My thoughts on MoM [with spoilers!]), I have some theories about what happens to Wanda now. And since this theory involves a lot of what happened in MoM, I'll put it under the cut and with spoiler tags. You have been warned!

This theory involves a rumor about Marvel possibly planning to adapt The Children's Crusade (CC) in the MCU. For those who haven't read the comic, I'll highlight a few points that are important to the theory:

Billy has an unstable moment with his magic, where he ends up killing several enemies to protect Ted (his boyfriend). This leads the Avengers (and even the Young Avengers themselves) to believe that he may be one of the lost children of the Scarlet Witch

The Avengers want to contain Billy by imprisoning him, but he knows they'll end up doing to him what they did to Wanda so he runs away

In the meantime, Billy feels Wanda's magic and knows she's alive, even though no one believes him. Magneto appears and says he's right, asking the children to help him find his daughter.

They go to Mount Wundagore, but she's not there. They end up in Latveria, where they find Wanda but without her memories. There, she's about to marry Dr. Doom.

This is enough to understand the theory I want to propose. So let's see the points of MoM (and the MCU in general) that make me believe that CC can indeed happen (and how it can happen):

Wanda didn't die. Being a Nexus being and by the nature of her magic, Wanda is incapable of dying (or rather, remaining dead). Not to mention that in MoM itself we saw her endurance. She literally goes through that gong all broken and deformed and is completely fine. The Darkhold Fortress didn't kill her, but it may have been enough to do enough damage for her to be badly injured and lose her memories.

Billy and Tommy don't exist in the main MCU universe, but we have two possibilities. The first (and more unlikely) is that, as in the comics, the souls of the children created by Wanda in the Hex, "reincarnate" into other children. Or, the variant Billy and Tommy will somehow be brought into the MCU, there are several possibilities as to how that would go. Since Wanda (variant) has powers, it's possible to deduce that Billy (variant) does too

In the case of using Billy (variant), since he's already met Wanda (MCU), he "knows" Wanda's magic, he'd be able to "feel" her, as he did in the comics

There's strong evidence that Latveria has already appeared in the MCU, in the Moon Knight series, when he wakes up in that strange country and meets Harrow for the first time

Agatha may play the role of Magneto in the CC adaptation. In the MCU, no one knows more about the Scarlet Witch than Agatha, who has studied about her for years to try to find her. News of Wanda's sacrifice will go around the world, and Agatha is sure to hear about it. And she knows that Wanda can't die, that she must be somewhere, and she goes after her. So Agatha goes after the twins, because of Billy's magic, which is very similar to Wanda's. As Agatha said in WandaVision, "you're gonna need me".. Maybe to "bring her back". This could be addressed in Agatha: House of Harkness, not as the main theme, but maybe as a secondary theme or even in a post-credit scene.

So, these are the main points for my theory that there'll be a Children's Crusade adaptation for the MCU. I think Agatha's series can bring a lot of interesting things to Wanda's return, but I don't think this return will happen soon.

But what do you think? Do you agree with this theory or do you think it's completely crazy? Any points to add? I'd love to know your thoughts!

[aelaer]

Sooo that What If episode huh. I'd love to hear what you think of the episode. Do you think that Stephen is capable of doing what he did, even after being warned by his own self?

Oh my goodness. Oh do I have so many thoughts.

For those who don't have the tag up, this post definitely contains What If Episode 4 spoilers. So. Yeah. Spoilers ahoy!

I was optimistic for episode 4 after the Watcher's actor, Jeffrey Wright, said it was his favorite episode. And now that I've seen it, it's easy to see why.

I thought the episode was an absolute masterpiece. It's a modern Greek tragedy, where a powerful person through their hubris suffers the greatest of falls. You don't see this trope often anymore in modern media; either the stakes in a drama are more of a modern tragedy where impulse and/or bad luck rather than hubris cause the fall, or in stories where a loss would cause utter devastation, the properties are in genres like superhero stories that cannot afford to make such risks due to the money involved in producing a story like that. Infinity War was adjacent to it, but everyone knew it would be reversed in some manner with the next film - and it wasn't the story of one protagonist like Greek tragedies tend to be.

That Marvel can afford to make such risks on the smaller screen is fantastic for modern storytelling. Tragedy is a major, major genre that has an important part in human history and as part of the human condition explored in fiction. That it's largely been lost in popular media and modern stories is a shame - you really have to seek it out in smaller projects to find it these days.

But you're not here to listen to me ramble about thematics. You're here for Stephen.

Stephen's greatest flaw in the MCU is his hubris, hands down. I mentioned this trait in my posts refuting the comments claiming he was OOC to do something reckless. His belief that he is good enough to do basically anything he sets his mind to is a lesson he has to learn in humility -- and in the MCU, he hasn't quite gotten there.

After all, in both the main MCU and What If, Stephen does what he is explicitly told not to do with the Time Stone and manages to find a way to prevent the world from being consumed by Dormammu with that strategy. In the MCU, he's told to move on from fixing his hands and his act in not following that advice leads him to mystical powers. It's only when he learns the lesson that it's not about him that his need to put his need to fix his hands first and foremost finally takes a back seat.

In What If, he doesn't get that lesson. He is motivated by a stronger grief, of lost love. In this universe the two are still clearly in a good relationship and still seem to be together. Stephen had let go of Christine already in the MCU as a romantic interest, and had moved on. In What If, that relationship was ripped from him and proved to be a motivator to prevent it. O'Bengh hit the nail on the head that people will suffer a good deal more for someone they love rather than for something strictly for themselves.

And by the time the Ancient One was able to pinpoint a moment to speak with him when he wasn't immediately reverting time back, he had tried to save Christine god knows how many times. Dozens? Hundreds? In other words, he was already going down the obsessive path of needing to prove he could fix it.

Then time comes into play. It's mentioned a couple times in the episode that Strange Supreme spent centuries curating his power. That is a long time for a person to be mostly alone with their thoughts. So combine this with experiencing a loved one's death repeatedly and you have the makings of a broken man who will heed no warning, no matter who says it.

Unbroken Stephen, in contrast, didn't start the spiral of seeing Christine die over and over and over -- and then centuries with that grief and little resistance to his plans. Without all of that, as well as proof of the world breaking, he was able to listen to his mentor and more or less immediately reject the possibility of bringing back Christine without breaking the world, even though it hurts him.

What was one of the most interesting moments in the episode was how angry Strange Supreme became when Stephen told him that reality was breaking. He yelled at him not to lie to him and his shape contorted. Strange had been feeding himself the delusion that he could fix everything and it would all be fine for so long that he couldn't handle being told that reality was already breaking.

And that delusion he told himself until it was the only truth in his mind broke the world.

The fall is the most powerful part of the classic tragedy. You as a member of the audience know that everything will end badly the way it is going, yet despite that knowledge, the fall is still painful to watch, even if it was their own actions that caused it. You still feel for the protagonist because, no matter their greatness and power, they are still so very very human.

And the terrible fall makes this episode a triumph in storytelling.

[yyuuna]

perfect

—in which todoroki takes his sick s/o somewhere

pairing: s. todoroki x reader

genre: fluff

disclaimer: lowercase intended

a/n: sorry if im posting old oneshot drafts,, im sick and i cant rly focus on writing n stuff but i do have an idea for a new headcanon so hopefully next post will be that

Love...

It has so many context; so many stories told, so many beliefs spread, so many talk about it.

But only a few found it.

[I found a love for me.]

The sound of the knocking interrupted [name]'s thoughts. Her heartbeat arose when a dual-haired man entered her sight.

"Hey." he said, ambling down the narrow space towards her. Her smile graced the dull atmosphere in the room, even managing to slightly uplift the corner of his lips.

"Hey...Did you guys have fun tonight?" [name] asked.

"Yeah. Uraraka also wanted to know how are you. I said you're okay...Are you feeling well?" A soft hand—specifically his left side—settled atop her own as he sits down on the bed beside her, making the cushion on that spot dip from his presence.

"Yup," she confirmed. "Just a headache. But I'm fine, really."

"Are you sure? I can get us soba right now if you want."

"It's okay, I'm already full anyway."

They went utterly still while exchanging gazes; it was the type of silence that was purely comfortable. Both didn't doubt that they'd hear a feather fall. Shouto and [name] were simply enjoying each other's company.

[Oh darling, just dive right in and follow my lead.]

Frankly, it was broken the moment she felt a faint tug on her delicate hand.

"[name], I want to go somewhere with you tonight." She just stared at him, barely noticing how long she peered at him with her brows furrowed.

"Eh?" Normally, people don't take their significant other to a date at two in the morning right after announcing that their head aches.

"Sorry. Do you want me to rest with you here instead?"

"No no no, I was just surprised." A hearty chuckle came out of her. "You're usually already sleepy at this time, but it seems important so I'll come."

[Well, I found a girl, beautiful and sweet.]

Shouto took ahold of her wrists, gently helping her to get on her feet. Fragile and frail; her body wobbled for a bit. What was left of her cumulated strength gave her the balance she needed, however.

Letting her beauty captivate him once again, he internally praised his lover. Perhaps it was the red string of fate that weaved both of them together. Although he wasn't so sure about that. Something tells him that even if they're not destined together, he would've still been drawn to [name].

[Oh, I never knew you were the someone waiting for me.]

White, loose dress covered her figure. Once she was fully upright, Shouto carefully pulled the tubes that covered her arms. His hand reached the paper bag that contained a change of clothes and a pair of shoes, and handed it to her. She gratefully accepted after saying a short thanks.

Well, back then, she used to daydream of the person who she'll shower with all her affection. Whispers of imagination satisfying her fantasies. It was her only desire after finding out how many years she has left to live.

Nine years have passed and never did [name] expect that she'd finally find him; pain from waiting suddenly vanished from her. Maybe even the very little chance of researchers developing a cure slipped out of her mind too.

['Cause we were just kids when we fell in love.]

The day she entered U.A. was memorable, of course. Since that's the start of their journey. A quest that they knew would end too soon, but accepted nonetheless.

[Not knowing what it was. I will not give you up this time.]

They stride down the hallways to the exit, not letting the chattering disturb their own peaceful minds. And after they arrived at their destination, [name] stepped out of the car.

Oaks laid below her feet, their hue complimenting the pavement. Grass dangled in one direction as well as her [h/c] tresses.

Splendor sky had stars scattered all over it, leaning down to the grounds of the earth. The glistening of her eyes forestalled his anticipation. As she stared up above, the vague scent of fire entered aloft her nostrils. At the corner of her eyes, she could see the crackling of the flames.

The heterochromatic eyed lad glanced at the spaces between her fingers and interlocked his hand with hers, guiding her further into the garden.

"It's so pretty here, Shouto."

"I know." Though his eyes never left her. It annoyed him a little because it wasn't him who she was staring at. Eventually, his ego got the best of him as his fingers tilted her chin to face him.

Closer and closer...

Those frail lips of hers that lacks warmth brushed his own. He would've noticed the frigidity instantly if it wasn't for the heated flush that seeped onto his cheeks.

[But darling, just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own.]

Unblinking eyes met as they slowly pulled apart. The after effects invited them to do it once again, but it was declined when he circled his arms around her petite waist, while she contrarily wrapped both arms around his shoulder—leaving them embracing one another close by, afraid of letting go. Moving their feet sedately in chorus, silently wishing that one can live an eternity.

[And in your eyes, you're holding mine. Baby, I'm dancing in the dark with you between my arms.]

Fingers splayed on his back. [name]'s humming causing a gentle vibration to form where they connect. He soaked in the soft melodies, savoring each note, for they seem to speak to him too.

[Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song.]

A full minute passes before she shuffled away from him.

"Sorry, I don't exactly look presentable right now."

[When you said you looked a mess,]

For a moment, she thought Shouto disregarded it, not until he murmured something.

[I whispered underneath my breath.]

Everything about [name] seems to elate. And that realization of what good relishing the years she has left brings hit her.

[But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight.]

tags; @mayukhii @innersooya

[beautifulterriblequeen]

Lost Souls

Contains 100% Angst! 92% Runaan angst, 8% BH angst. (which is really Runaan angst in disguise tho tbh)

In S2, Viren makes his illusion assassins appear shadowy with bright red eyes.

And I just noticed that the assassins are all shown in grayscale, not in Moonshadow form.

Their markings don't glow like they used to.

Beside Aanya's seat in S2:

Attacking Harrow's chamber in S1:

Contrast that colorlessness with poor Ram, who fallen inside Harrow's chamber but, as of this moment, still has his color.

Viren's illusion assassins are also shown with two white ribbons apiece, while their souls, in TTM, wear two red ones. (Because someone had to die for the ribbon and it was them, I guess?) They all perished before Runaan finished the mission.

The S1 novel explains how you make smoky minions: you need the ashes of something that perished beneath a full moon. The wolves did, and due to Runaan's assault on the castle, so did his assassins.

Runaan didn't get coined on a full moon, so maybe we won't see his smoky self resurrected to do anyone's bidding. But maybe we will, because that is when his horn was broken off and "died".

I don't think he's going to pop out of the coin into anyone's arms, or to fight his smoky self right off the bat, though, because there's nothing to catch, nothing to hold a sword with.

Alas. Runaan's body went monochromatic, too. His markings have gone dark, just like the assassins Viren burnt.

the writers all say "soul" when they talk about the hellcoin, not "body"

soul coins are a (punishment/imprisonment) thing in D&D and there's only a soul inside

neither Runaan nor his soul-separated squad have any color in them when Viren is done with them - maybe it's a dark magic effect

I've been pretty sure for a while that Runaan's body is uhhh missing from the coin, but the monochrome detail is new to me, and it seems to back that theory up, at least to me.

Runaan's moonstrider is his opposite: soul consumed, body intact. Still "barely alive."

Upside: I don't think we need to worry about whether or not Runaan is going to lose his left arm.

Downside: There's nothing left of the prettiest elf in Xadia, except maybe his broken horn tip. He's about as gone as can be.

Upside again: Aaravos seems to be using magic that can grow entire bodies, to grow himself a... Viren? Or an Aaravos? Whatever he's making, maybe that's how we can get Runaan back to his family, with both arms and maybe not even his old scars.

But that's several angst canyons away from where we are right now, and it's going to be a bumpy ride.

A different thought:

The soulless assassins' red eyes give me very interesting questions regarding the ghosted Bloodmoon Huntress, who's somehow less mortal than other elves.

Last downside: maybe Aaravos's pod isn't going to be how we get Runaan back from nothing. Maybe Viren still has his body stashed somewhere, or his ashes, and maybe Bloodmoon Huntress is the one who's going to bring Runaan back to corporeal form, with all her forbidden, shadowy, mysterious magics.

Red-eyed Runaan, anyone? Ohhoho god yes, because the only thing worse than Viren controlling Runaan...

is Bloodmoon Huntress controlling Runaan.

I'll spare some of my tender friends getting tagged because I know this post will upset them, but @random-fandom-ramble has a strong stomach.

[athena-is-a-chaotic-lil-shit]

Feral Fatality

(Part 1)

So this has been in my works for a week now. You see, it was a typical day for me scrolling through Tumblr and visiting some....tags, and then a short drabble inspired me to write about a feral reader totally not because I was craving violence and murder no, which reached more than 4k words on the first draft so here we are! Shitty title, I know. The proofread work went over 7k, and it's not even finished yet. Once I'm done posting this and my main orc fic, I will get into the requests so please be patient!

Pairing: Jason Voorhees x Fem!Reader

Word count: 3k

Warnings: Brief blood and violence at the end of the first part

Contains: Swearing, mentions of neglect and abuse (not graphic)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

-

Screams slit through the twilight as the frigid autumn wind blew harshly through the trees of Camp Crystal Lake. The rustling of bushes and cracking of twigs echoed as foolish teenagers attempted to escape, running for their lives when they were the ones who dared step foot in the place, tarnishing it with their sins.

Jason Voorhees, the innocent kid who died several years ago; pushed to the lake by his bullies and left to drown for being different and unsightly— all because the counselors were busy with their fucking business—, returned as an undead killing machine right after his mother murdered them and died. His sole purpose: to protect the land and purge the people who had no right to be here, sentencing them to a horrendous death.

One by one, they struck the ground, lifeless, either chopped into pieces, beheaded, or stabbed countless times by his trusty machete.

Limbs...ripped off with his bare hands.

-

The muffled snapping of branches reached your ears as the vehicle's wheels ran over them, stirring you from your nap. You rubbed your chilled skin under your clothes as you looked out of the window, thumping your forehead on the glass when you leaned forward the moment you saw the scenery. Trees, both ancient and young, their leaves varying in hues of green, orange and red, filled your line of sight. It was still early in autumn, your favorite time of the year, not hot but not too cold either. You watched in awe as the warm-colored leaves cascaded down from the branches and down to the ground, some carried by the wind farther from their origin.

The view did its best to distract you from a couple in session a seat before yours. They always seem to do that all the time, regardless of place or occasion.

This was a week-long getaway after graduation, they said.

Nothing but a white lie.

An excuse for the girls to hook up with their campus crushes, a week of fucking and smoking drugs.

You, however, just got invited —forced— by your "friend" Eloiza, the self-proclaimed hottest girl in the entire school, typical captain of the cheerleading squad; blonde and curvy. Her words were much too sugar-coated that even a deaf person could tell she had ulterior motives.

She only planned to use you as a tool to raise her fame. A stepping stone for her own gain.

That wasn't the only reason though.

Everyone knew who you were, but only by your name. News and rumors alike spread like wildfire through gossipy mouths. Your deeds were known throughout campus.

(Y/N)(L/N), top academic competitor and multiple-award winner, a straight-A student for five years in succession. Some believed you were a genius, the rest called you insane.

You wouldn't call yourself a genius though, you did not possess the obsessive need to acquire eternal knowledge and discover the secrets of the universe as most of them do, to effortlessly solve every problem that comes their way.

If that were the case, then you wouldn't be here in the first place.

You only love learning and indulging in the beauty of Mother Nature, plus a handful of hyper-fixations.

Fine, a buttload of hyper-fixations. And such came in handy in various situations.

You were unrivaled, not one of your peers could come close to your level of wit. Many people wished to have a brain like yours, and just as many hated you for even having one, praised you just as much as slandered your name and judged you.

Despite your reputation, the poor school didn't broadcast it, at least every time. The staff probably got tired of repeating the same phrase over and over again. Which caused more than half of the whole campus to never believe you to be the one behind all of that, laughing at your face when you said your name.

"You? The (Y/N) (L/N)? Ha! As if I'd fall for that! Everyone knows how she looks. You're the absolute opposite!"

"You got to be kidding me."

"You're a joker, aren't you? Is this a prank? If so please stop it, don't pretend like you're her."

Yep, and it goes on and on and on. They were right, you didn't look like someone who would win contests or excel in class.

You constantly wore clothes that hid your form, silent unless spoken to or asked to answer, distant and reserved, you preferred the company of books and nature to the rowdiness and prying hands of humans. A sociopath they deemed you. Quite an extreme word to use when you simply wanted to enjoy the only things that made you happy in this living hell.

You only know a handful of people who approached you first-hand and praised you genuinely, even asking for an autograph, which really surprised you.

Yet, they would never understand you even if you explained, because you can't, words evade you when it comes down to voice out what you feel. Even if you can, no one would care. And even if they did? You doubt it was real. Everyone wants to use you, and they seem to believe you'd let them. You didn't trust anyone. The last time you did only left you sobbing on the dirt.

You wanted to be left alone.

To connect with nature and get as far away as possible from your parents. Parents who kept shouting profanities at each other, the main cause for your depression and anxiety levels to skyrocket, the shaking turning into trembling, 7 hours of sleep to barely a blink.

That's why you agreed to go in the first place.

You hated your household—despised it— a mess of broken shards of bottles and ceramics littered your kitchen floor more often than not. You didn't bother cleaning it up anymore, your mother would just waste away her money on more things to break and throw them at your joke of a father when they fought anyway.

Not only that, you thought...No, you believed if you worked hard to be the best and win countless competitions, your parents would give you recognition and reconcile for your sake, but no, no, no. They didn't care one bit about you or your medals, it was as if you were never even included in their lives at all. Even birthday celebrations ceased to exist in everyone's books after your 13th.

So you gave up.

Down into the void, your wishful thinking went, that they'll become better people over time, that the attention and love you deserve will be given one day. Instead, you wallowed yourself in your studies, besting everyone in everything academic. Oh, but you weren't athletic. Far from it. Damn, you were getting thin and sleep-deprived from being neglected, dark circles under your eyes every time you looked at your reflection. People hating your existence wasn't helping, some teachers even suspected you of cheating.

There's no way in hell you'd let yourself get dragged down to end up like them! You were of legal age now, a fresh graduate from high school, you doubt your parents even knew that since they didn't fucking show up on your graduation day. You were moving out of that shithole of a town. Anywhere is better than where they breathed and spat their poison.

And so here you are. Standing in this breath-taking and mysterious place. Camp Crystal Lake, it is named, secluded, barely touched by modernization as it is hidden between mountains and trees as far as the eye could see. Not to mention its namesake, the lake, you imagined it would mirror the sky, be it day or night. You loved it, you adored the fresh, breathable air that went through you the moment you stepped out of the van.

You also knew about him.

Resolved to never go back to that goddamned house, you took everything you had and needed; the special little trinkets you've collected through the years shoved into a box, the few clothes you had, art materials, and your precious books carefully packed inside a big travel bag, along with your stocked up canned goods, convenience food, snacks, and toiletries.

And other, important things.

You hauled your baggage out of the van and got off, immediately moving to the side and away from everyone.

You got used to people ignoring you that you didn't care anymore.

Why waste your time with them when you can have all of it to yourself?

Eloiza led the group into the larger cabins, the others went straight into the lake for a swim. You even notice some teens disappear into the trees, most likely for a quickie.

In return, you stayed out of their way, fully satisfied being invisible and with your own company as you trudged to a cabin, the one you caught a glimpse of earlier in the van. It was a long way's separated from the rest, closest to the forest and hidden behind a few trees.

You were panting when you finally stopped in front of it, clearly not used to walking long distances and carrying stuff near as heavy as your weight.

Upon closer inspection, you found yourself gaping at its appearance. The wooden walls lost their color as they aged, white and brown mushrooms grew on the ground along with green moss sticking to the beams, and a few vines crawling their way up and on the roof. Despite all of that, the cabin looked sturdy still.

There's this "one with nature" vibe that drew you to it, like a string pulling you closer and inviting you. Ominous most would say, but you almost cried when the rich scent of earth and oxygen filled your lungs as you took one big inhale, sighing in content for once. It was a lot smaller compared to the others, but you didn't care. As long as you were left alone with your stuff you were a-okay.

Perfect.

You turned the knob and peeked inside, letting out a small gasp and opening the door wider to see the whole thing.

Old as it is, it was proper and neat, regardless of the tiny cobwebs on the upper corners. A small, square dining table sat in the middle of the first part of the place, two wooden stools placed underneath. There were cupboards on the wall and a simple sink with an empty space to the side. You went to the next room, doorless and separated with but a wall of thick plywood. It had a single bed in the corner, off-white cotton sheets sitting atop, not a wrinkle in sight. No pillow though. There's a decent-sized closet along with a small table on one side of the bed. One of the windows had a hole in the middle, a ray of sunlight streaming in through the cracks. It was too big for the size of a gunshot, so maybe a rock.

A bit hesitant, your fingers traced the wood, feeling the inconsistent texture. When you went through the back door, your smile reached your ears when trunks of trees and bushes greeted you...

Wait, is that what you think it is?

Stepping closer to the treeline, your jaw dropped when you spotted a thicket of fruit-bearing plants past them, gathered in a tiny clearing.

Blueberries.

Purple little cuties poked out of the green shrubs, sporting a vibrant hue that caught your eye. The sun shone overhead and providing the energy they needed. Blueberries managed to grow in the area despite the trees fencing them.

Tempted and suspicious, you crouched down, inspecting the shrub if it really was a blueberry plant and not a deadly doppelganger. Once you were sure it was, (it would be hilarious if you simply died from nighshade poisoning), you plucked one and brought it to your mouth. It was sweeter than you expected, with a slightly bitter aftertaste. You hummed in delight, wiping the juice with your thumb when it dribbled out, staining your finger and lips.

You didn't want to anger anybody. Hell, coming here was already trespassing, so you didn't push your luck and left it alone, hoping they'd forgive you for picking one. They surely didn't look wild with the way they lined up.

You scanned the rest of the area, eventually going back inside to unpack after your little evaluation.

-

The sun was a hand's away from setting when you finished. Pride swelled in your chest at the work you did, your things stocked and organized with care inside the cabinets and drawers. You won't have to worry about your food for now as cupboards were filled to the brim with them. You also had a decent amount of money left from your savings account that your parents weren't aware of. Prize money, allowance, and the salary you got from doing online jobs all went into it. The camp was a few miles off the road, and a couple more to the nearest gas station with a convenience store. Very far yes, but it's better than living with the people who made you do this in the first place.

You just hoped you wouldn't die walking.

Everything was worth it, anyways. You were free now, at least that's what you think.

You trudged to the bed, eyeing the cushions, wary and a little scared to touch the sheets that appeared to be cleaned just recently, you didn't even lay a finger on them ever since you got inside. Oh, but your tired muscles were screaming to just flump down and relax.

So you did.

You dumped yourself face first and inhaled. It wasn't smelly nor fragrant, just the simple freshness on the cotton fabric. You felt beat but ain't sleepy, yet, so you reached to the drawer beside the bed and pulled out a book to pass the time as you waited for the sun to go down and give way for the moon. Its spine and pages had creases, worn out and yellow-stained from age and use. It was a horror-mystery novel told through a first-person narrative, a story of a middle-aged detective and her Maine coon in their attempts to solve a murder case of a young European lady named Cassandra Chase.

You dozed off in the middle of chapter 21, the part where Dinnie, the cat, discovers a valuable clue to the crime, a rotten limb in the dried basement well.

—

—

Jason settled down on the stairs of his porch; shoulders relaxed and hunched as he leisurely sharpened his machete with a small whetstone. Lines of sunlight kissed him through the leaves of trees, the birds in the area chirped on their perches, and the grass swayed, gentle, as a cool wind passed by.

His day be so fine. No troublemakers to deal wi—

The alarm rang, announcing unwelcomed arrival. As if a switch flipped inside, he's already on his feet, making his way swiftly to their location.

A new batch of wretched youngsters, another day ruined. Hunting them down makes his blood thrum in his veins, yes, but they soured his mood, just when he was at peace. He's dead set on slaughtering them in the most gruesome ways possible, only then he could go back and enjoy the serenity the nature around him brings.

He surveyed the area, camouflaging with the wilderness, silent as he watched and counted the soon-to-be corpses, his mother's voice at the back of his mind, guiding him.

They decided to go either to the main cabins, or the lake...even into the trees.

All but one.

Jason already planned to cut down the couple later as they lose themselves in the forest, doing nasty, dirty things to his camp. The killer shifted his attention to you, curious as to why you didn't join the lot. Instead, you walked back down the road. He followed and saw you approach the small cabin, separated from the rest, your eyes widened...

Adoration?

You were quiet— except for the little gasps of awe you let out in between pants—as you looked around and over the place. The ones you came with were rowdy and destructive, a complete opposite. He hid as he observed you from afar, moving around to adjust his vision on you. You smiled every time you looked to the trees, he noticed.

Why were you smiling like that? Why did you pick this cabin? Were you planning on defiling it?

The last question in his mind made his blood boil. He'll kill you first if that was the case. That cabin you chose was special, it was where he and his mother used to stay. He occasionally visits that one to keep it clean and free of dust. If you even think of—

Jason, sweetie...look closer. She does not have such intentions.

His mother's words rang in his head. Even from where he stood, he could see what you did inside. You looked a little hesitant, touching and drawing back your hand before letting your fingers feel the wood as if it was something delicate. Despite the initial...shyness? You proceeded to make it your home, somewhat, dropping the large duffel bags you carried on your front and back, and a similarly large roller case on your left. It was as if you planned to stay for a long time.

Jason hears you take a long breath and sigh as you went out the backdoor. You grinned wider when you saw the nature around you. You stepped forward, straight in his direction...

For a moment he thought you saw him, seeing your jaw drop. You moved closer, and he just froze there, until you crouched down.

Oh, his plants.

He watched you as you gently picked a fruit, your gaze...soft. You brought it to your mouth, some of the juice spilling on the side and you wiped it with your thumb.

Cute.

You went back inside and continued to unpack your things, carefully maneuvering around the cabin.

Maybe he'll spare you if you continue to be good. You didn't do anything dirty, yet. It's only a matter of time before the camp is shrouded in darkness and his hunt will begin.

Let's see what you'll do before that happens.

-

Jason tracked down the three that went into the forest. He knew the place like the back of his hand, and it was easier to pinpoint them as he heard moans.

What he saw was utmost disgusting, two girls pleasuring a male with their mouths in broad daylight.

Kill them, my boy! Such foul beings need to die! Kill them, kill!

He circled them, steps soundless. Jason gripped his machete and brought it down the guy's neck, embedding the weapon into the bark, the head rolled down, oozing with blood, and fell against the women, drenching them in red. Not a single cry left from their mouths as he sliced both with one swing, blood pouring out of their throats and staining the ground. Jason dragged their bodies and tossed them into a pit he dug beforehand, making quick work in burying them.

A swift end. Now he waits.

[palimpsessed]

So @captain-aralias​ did one of these and invited other writers to do the same. And I wasn't really going to because it feels a bit late now and also I've done quite a few other year in review posts for 2020. But then I got to thinking that it would be really nice to have one of these for each year to look back on and compare, which convinced me. So, here we go!

If you’re a writer, I’d also encourage you to steal this. Tag me on your post so I can see your thoughts! 🥰

List of Complete Fics for 2020 1. At the Top of a Tower, With You- General, 900 words 2. Use Your Words- Teen, 16k 3. A Man of Letters, or Five Times Baz Retreats and the One Time He Doesn’t- Teen, 54k 4. To the Manor Borne- Teen, 43k

Total: 4 fics, 113k words

Every one of these fics was written for an event, which, realistically, is the only reason they got finished. I have so many ideas I'm working on all at once, and I came into fandom with a focus on making art, so to actually find the motivation to sit down and write/finish/post a fic was entirely deadline based. And it's a technique I'm sure I will also employ in 2021.

Best/Worst Title?

Well, I've mentioned a few times before that I usually have a title before I have much in the way of a fic concept. I don't really dislike any of the my titles, because they all did exactly what I needed them to do, which was help me focus on what I wanted to accomplish in the fic. Comparatively speaking, though, I can answer this.

Best: Use Your Words - succinct, idiomatic, a book quote/motif that also has the potential to be a spell, does what it says on the tin, is probably what all of us are constantly yelling at Baz and Simon to do throughout the books and the fic itself

(Honorable mention to A Man of Letters because that title forms a perfect heart shape when viewed on mobile on AO3. ❤️)

Worst: At the Top of a Tower, With You - this is also a quote and it fits the fic perfectly, but it is a bit of a mouthful and it has a comma in the middle of it, which, while I love commas, feels a bit off-putting in terms of a title - also, it's always kind of bothered me that it's a Baz WS quote used for a CO-era Lucy POV

Best/worst summary?

Again, I don't really dislike any of my summaries.

Best:

To the Manor Borne: The gang decides to spend Christmas together at Pitch Manor. Romance, hijinks, and holiday cheer ensue.

Anything that lets me use the word hijinks is always good! - it's short and sweet - it does a fair job of setting up the premise for the fic and giving highlights, without giving anything away

Worst: A Man of Letters

I'm not going to include this one because it's so long, I had to cut down the version I posted on tumblr to fit in the AO3 field, which is really why I rank it below my others - it effectively sets up the world of Simon and Baz in Regency England prior to where the story starts, but it is prohibitively long - and it's set up, not summary, so it also loses points for not doing what it purports to do - I could have said exactly what this fic was in one sentence: "Simon and Baz meet at several Regency-appropriate venues over the course of a London season and reflect on their acquaintance in letters", but instead I did the full book jacket version because it was more interesting to me.

Best/Worst First Line?

Oh, this is interesting. I can honestly say that I have no idea where this will go. Going to pull up my docs and find out! Okay, since I only have four fics to consider, and I'm feeling split, I'm going to do two for each. I feel good about my words, but I will say that half of my first lines actually provide information, and the other half are incomplete thoughts. Those were stylistic decisions I made, but when taken alone, it does somewhat limit the effectivness of a sentence when it can't stand without the rest of the paragraph. Perhaps that decision will lure readers in for more?

Best:

In the end, we wind up at Pitch Manor. (To the Manor Borne)

I know that you won't be surprised when I tell you that I do not like writing letters. (A Man of Letters)

Kind of interesting that these both contain key words from the titles 🤔

Worst:

I'm not sure how I'm supposed to do this. (Use Your Words)

I love how the title seems to be answering Baz's question when the two are put together like this 😂

Strange that it should end here, where it all started. (At the Top of a Tower, With You)

The title also seems to complete the first line in this one, too. I'm learning about my writing as this goes on, so that's cool!

Best/Worst Last Line?

Hmm. Okay, again, no idea. Also, a little leery of including last lines for anyone who hasn't read the fics they're from yet. (Tho I guess it's unlikely those people would be reading this😆) But let's see what we've got.

Use Your Words and A Man of Letters have very similar final lines, and both are somewhat spoilery.

Best: The ending of A Man of Letters felt risky to me, in the way that it is formatted and changes tone from the rest of the story. It was something that happened as I wrote it and I loved it. I had no idea if readers would like it, if they would feel like it worked as an ending, but I felt strongly enough about it to let the entire fic hinge on that and I think it really paid off. So, without giving you the actual last line, which is only one word, I'm going to say that one is my best ending.

Worst:

To the Manor Borne: "Carry on, Simon."

It's not bad, it's just not mine.

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, fewer than you thought, or about what you predicted?

I did not set out to write any fics in 2020. I was supposed to be taking a break from writing. I've been an aspiring novelist for half my life now, and have been going through major ups and downs with my writing. I decided I needed to re-evaluate and figure out if writing was something that was even going to be able to make me happy anymore. The answer is: YES! Just…not original fiction. At the moment. I'm happiest when I can write for the sake of writing and not have to DO something with that writing. Which is why discovering fan fiction was AMAZING!!!! 🥰🥰🥰

To actually answer the question, yes, I wrote more than I thought I would. I also wrote exactly as much as I thought I would, simply because these were all things I signed up for (with the exception of my Countdown fic, but I committed to it as if it were something that required a sign up).

I have a lot more ideas for 2021, but I don't know how many of them will come to fruition. I'm not putting pressure on myself to have to do anything beyond what I sign up for again, because it did work out so well for me starting off.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year?

I mean, the pairing and the fandom were in no way a surprise. 😆 They're my only ones, so those were both a given. The genre is also not surprising.

What's your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest?

A Man of Letters, without any hesitation. I adore it so much. It's the kind of fic I know I will unabashedly sit down to read over and over, even if I'm the one who wrote it. I had one reader to please and it was ME. By far, my most self-indulgent fic.

Okay, NOW your most popular story?

That depends on the metric.

To the Manor Borne leads in Comments (107), Kudos (153), and Hits (1992), and Use Your Words leads in Bookmarks (26).

But since To the Manor Borne is top in 3 out of 4 metrics, I'll say that one.

Story most upderappreciated by the universe?

I mean, the least popular by a wide margin is At the Top of a Tower, With You, but I don't know if I'd call it underappreciated. It's short, it's angsty, it's got a very unusual style, it's Lucy POV, it's the first fic I wrote and posted. I didn't really go into it with high performance expectations. I'm proud of it, I just didn't expect it to be popular. It would be nice if more people read it, but I'm not broken up over it.

Story that could have been better?

I'm not even going to touch this one. Everything can always be improved upon, but if I go down that route, nothing will ever be done. This is one of the things I have come to appreciate about traditional art versus digital. With traditional, there is only so much you can do before something is permanent and you have to live with it. It's an exercise in letting go and acceptance. Digital is flashier and more flexible, but I could (and have) spend months on a single piece and never feel satisfied, never stop tweaking. I think that's also the reason I started to hate my novels.

Sexiest story?

Based purely on overall vibes, I find the understated tension of the Regency the most appealing, so I'm going to say A Man of Letters. I didn't actually stray into sex territory in any of my fics (though Simon and Baz have had sex by the time To the Manor Borne starts, and refer to it, and probably do it "offscreen"), but A Man of Letters is the one that feels sexiest to me. Lots of thirsting!Baz and feral!Simon and sensual hand touching (how risqué!) - and YEARNING. That, to me, is the sexiest vibe of all. So. Much. Yearning.

Saddest story?

At the Top of a Tower, With You - for this one, I tagged "angst without plot" and I stand by that. It's Lucy losing her connection to Simon at the end of CO and trying to find a way to reconcile herself to leaving him alone again. I gave it as much of a hopeful bent as I could, with the refrain of Baz's spoken "love" to cling to, but it's very sad.

Most fun?

To the Manor Borne - All of my fics have their fair share of angst, but this one also has some good, silly, holiday fluff thrown in. Since I wrote it for the Countdown, each chapter was based on a different prompt, which led to this one going in all sorts of directions no single fic probably ever should. Plus, it has the most Shepard, and Shepard always makes things more fun.

Story with the single sweetest moment?

Oh my god. I don't know. No, never mind. I do. It's To the Manor Borne, but it's split between the two gift giving scenes, the Constellations and Secret Santa/Gift Giving prompts. These were private moments between Simon and Baz, sharing themselves with each other, being vulnerable, and communicating. It's the gifts they give each other, yes, but it's more so the reasons they chose those gifts, and how they show part of themselves and share their love for each other, through those gifts, that had me in tears writing those two scenes. I'm super proud of them.

Hardest story to write?

Use Your Words - it was written for an exchange and that made it really hard to write it knowing there was this pressure of making my gift-ee happy with the fic. I'm proud of it, and they really liked it, but the anxiety was too much for me.

Easiest/most fun story to write?

A Man of Letters - if there is a fic better suited to me as a writer, I haven't met it. I started writing after reading Pride and Prejudice in high school, so I started out writing Regency and I spent years and years and years of my life obsessed. When I transferred into college, an administrator I had never met before heard my name during orientation and said, "Oh, you're the Austen scholar." (It is a small, private college, and I was a transfer, so the pool of students was even smaller. But still. Many years later, I'm clearly not over it.) I also did my senior thesis on an epistolary novel (Frances Burney’s Evelina), and my English Lit emphasis was for that time period. So, I felt like I had been preparing for this fic my entire adult life. 😂

Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters?

I don't think so. I tend to let my writing be dictated by the characters, so I'm always following their lead. Sometimes they'll do or say something that surprises me and takes me down a route I didn't necessarily foresee, but I don't think there was ever a point where one of them did something that made me rethink who they are as a character.

Most overdue story?

I will say A Man of Letters, since that one felt like a culmination of my seventeen-year-old self's wildest writing dreams. But I should probably say the Scooby Doo AU I still haven't managed to finish, because that one has been a WIP since I joined the fandom. Oops. (I'm hoping when I look over this in a year, I can feel smug that it's finally done.)

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

Writing at all was a risk for me! And writing fan fic for the very first time! Writing an entire fic told only through letters. And then ending it in a completely different style from the rest of the fic. Doing a multi-chaptered fic for the Countdown, using a different prompt for each chapter, and publishing a chapter every single day for thirty days (with the exception of two days that had art). Signing up for fandom events in the first place!

What I learned from taking risks in my writing is the same thing I learned when I took risks in my art this year. I have a much better appreciation for what I've done when I push myself, I feel better about the end product, and I like it longer. I think it's really good for me to challenge myself creatively.

This year's theme and the story that demonstrates it most?

Oh boy. Um. Therapy! Both Use Your Words and To the Manor Borne had their big HEA moments built around sending Simon and Baz to therapy. I don't think that's likely to change for future fics, either. I feel like therapy as the theme for 2020 seems very fitting. (Also, I think I keep sending the boys to therapy because I'm trying to get myself there…)

What are your fic writing goals for next year?

Just to write what I want to write, have fun, not put any pressure on myself, and to take risks in my writing and my art because it will help me to grow.

[humaudrey]

TheThings is back on their bullshit

(WARNING: LONG RANT AHEAD!!!!)

Anyone know how to delete a YouTube video from someone else's channel (or just their entire channel all together) because...

This

Is SO

I don't even have the words!!!!

Once again, your girl watches one of their videos (several times unfortunately to really analyze this ish) so y'all don't have to and let me tell you, this one is 1,000,000x more infuriating than the one when they belittled Uma to lift Mal and make her better in comparison (link to my post on that here).

I've been recommended this video so many times since the trailers for D3 dropped and when I saw the title, I KNEW I was gonna hate it and low and behold, I DID!

So let's go over their "5 Signs on why Audrey is the real threat", shall we?

#1. Audrey's Outburst

So, their first piece of evidence as to why Audrey's the unfathomable dark force (their exact words) is because of the fact that Audrey yelled no as Ben proposed to Mal, "ruining their beautiful moment". They then explain that it would be "natural for Audrey to be jealous since she is Ben's ex-girlfriend", being perfect okay with the ugly "black, bitter, ex-girlfriend" trope that many have loved to stick onto her in their fanfics (I see y'all 👀), and then compares that moment to when Ben asked Mal to be his date for coronation in D1, stating that she didn't react so strongly before, so why now? EXCUSE ME?! Our girl left the Tourney Field crying that her BOYFRIEND had serenaded another girl with a love song, and not a single person ran after her. She had every reason to be upset then, too. Who's to even say why Audrey's saying no? It could be a terrible misdirect on the trailer's part. The theory that Audrey's possessed is swirling around everywhere, maybe it had already begun to take effect, which is why she's "acting so strangely". D3 hasn't even been released and they're already villainizing her. Figures.

They also use the typical argument that Audrey's into titles and she wants what Mal has, and that she didn't want Chad because he was merely a prince.

She doesn't want Chad because CHAD CHARMING IS A MANIPULATIVE TOOL! Ask Evie! Chad only thinks that being king would get Audrey's attention. You wanna talk about jealousy? Titles? If ant character is jealous of anyone's titles, it's Chad freaking Charming, not Audrey.

#2. The Crown

An obvious piece of evidence is the fact that "Audrey" steals the Queen's crown and Maleficent's scepter from the museum. Whatever, right? They assume that Audrey's faking her slumber when the sleeping spell hits, giving her an alibi. They then have the FREAKING AUDACITY to say that AUDREY, a non magical princess, who has been so anti-magic since D1 (with a grandmother who she loves dearly, that's triggered by the mention of said spells and curses), was the cause of the curse. Their evidence? Well, her family's VERY familiar with it, so it makes sense, right?

NO!!!!

Audrey has NO magic whatsoever!!! Did they forget that? The only reason her family is "so familiar" with the sleeping spell is because THEY ARE VICTIMS OF SAID SLEEPING SPELL!!!! And it's not like she could cast it, because, again, AUDREY HAS NO MAGIC!! If anyone is familiar with a sleeping spell, it's Mal. After all, she almost put Evie under just so she could grab her mother's specter from her.

How dare you take an Innocent family's trauma and turn it around to make them the bad guys?

#3. The Scepter

They continue to say that "Audrey" is to blame for the sleeping spell, rather than Celia, Hades, or Uma because "Audrey" has the specter. And immediately, they suggest that maybe Audrey's not working only. You wanna bet who they hinted Audrey was cooperating with?

If you guessed Uma, you'd be correct. All because Uma's seen laughing in her teaser. WHAT?! So, not only do you attempt to take Audrey's entire character and drag it through the mud, you take ANOTHER black girl's name that you've already tried to ruin and tarnish and say they're working together because they're BITTER?

If they're BITTER, it's ONLY BECAUSE YOUR WHITE, PLAIN, BARNEY COLORED DRAGON FAIRY PRIVILEGED PRINCESS PROSPECT FAVE had treated them HORRIBLY.

They end their third sign with the line "We knew Audrey was a mean girl, but we didn't think she'd stoop so low".

The meanest thing Audrey has ever done INTENTIONALLY, was 1.) Tell Evie that she and her family don't have a royal status in Auradon (to which, she is technically correct) and 2.) Tell Mal that she and Ben wouldn't last because she's "the bad girl infatuation".

Jane should be branded the mean girl because she turns on the one girl that helped her with her rise to popularity (which, granted, was for malicious INTENTIONS and caused EVEN MORE self esteem issues by degrading her).

MAL should be branded the mean girl, if anyone! She's:

Dumped rotten shrimp on her former best friend because she laughed at her

Forced a guy to throw a party since his mother was away, knowing that his abusive mother wouldn't be okay with it

Then locked a girl in a closet full of BEAR TRAPS at said party all because she wasn't invited to her birthday party when they were SIX YEARS OLD

Dumped lye on another former best friend's hair because she DIDN'T WANT TO BE COMPARED TO HER

Told another girl that all she had going for her was her personality, so she needed the wand to make herself pretty

ROOFIED HER SOON TO BE BOYFRIEND INTO DATING HER IN THE FIRST PLACE JUST TO GET A FRONT ROW SEAT AT HIS CORONATION SO SHE COULD STEAL THE WAND

AND TAKES SAID WAND FROM THE GIRL SHE EMOTIONALLY MANIPULATED EARLIER AND POINTS IT DIRECTLY AT AUDREY ALL BECAUSE SHE KNEW THAT MAL WASN'T GOOD FROM THE JUMP

Let's see a video ranking Mal's top five worst moments, huh? There's plenty of those to use for a freaking video.

#4. It's All About Mal (sounds like D3)

They start this point off with: "Audrey has beef with Mal".

AS SHE SHOULD!

They use the fact that Mal stole her boyfriend and her title and their families history with one another, so Audrey has this motivation to ACT OUT AGAINST HER ENTIRE COUNTRY? Not buying it! I won't buy it, especially since both parties seemed to have made amends at the end of D1 when Mal silently curtsies as a lame form of an apology that Audrey gracefully accepts anyway like the future Queen of Auroria would. Audrey's even seen bowing willingly at the end of Set It Off, and is even cheering and dancing with her friends as Mal and Ben share their moment under the fireworks, so clearly, Audrey's not broken up about it in the slightest.

They propose a theory that Audrey's absence in D2 is because she's planning her revenge in Sherwood Forest, and that she doesn't have car troubles because "Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather should be more than capable of handling it, so she's only calling Chad to help her plot her scheme.

Whatever they're smoking, I want it.

Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather can't help Audrey with her car troubles because of the MAGIC BAN!! They needed Chad to help with her car.

And I HIGHLY DOUBT that Disney would plan something so carefully since the entire series is branded with plot holes and inconsistencies anyway, so... 🐸☕

#5. Face Off Time

Their final point states that Mal has to face off against the enemy and they use the first teaser of dragon-Mal blowing fire at "Audrey" on top of the castle, and the card at the end that says "betrayal", that Audrey has betrayed all of Auradon. And since Mal only turns into a dragon against SERIOUS ENEMIES LIKE UMA IN D2, Audrey has to be a REAL THREAT.

Thank God they're probably not making a D4, because if they continue this trend of WOC wronged by Mal as the villain, I'd be scared for Evie...

So, in their words, Audrey and Uma, two of the few black girls in the entire franchise who have every God given right not to like/trust Mal, are Mal's MOST SERIOUS rivals, as if Hades doesn't at ALL pose a threat to Auradon. No, Audrey is So mUcH MOre THreATEninG thAN ThE GOD OF THE UNDERWORLD, SO SHE MUST BE STOPPED!!!

I see you, TheThings, and if I didn't despise your channel before, I hate it that much more now after enduring 5 minutes of hell with you guys.

AND, TO TOP IT ALL OFF THEY CLEARLY SHOW THEIR BIAS OF MAL OVER AUDREY!!

Like, just say you're racist and GO! Audrey's clearly influenced by some magical being, whether it be Hades (WHO WE SEE DOING SOME KIND OF MAGICAL RITUAL WITH HER AND HIS EMBER IN A TRAILER, BUT I GUESS THEY CHOSE TO IGNORE IT FOR SOME REASON 🐸☕), Dr. Facilier, Celia, or maybe even Maleficent. Your reasons for making Audrey the villain are pathetic, and I wish I could block a YouTube Channel so I would NEVER see another video from your channel ever again.

I'm so sick of how "mean" brown girls are treated in media AND fandoms. Why does Audrey get all of his libel while Mal gets away with EVERYTHING? Why are the Cheryl Blossoms, the Quinn Fabrays, the Kitty Wildes, and every other mean girl that Emma Roberts has ever played are so praised and are instant fan favorites while the Josie McCoys, the Santana Lopezes, and the Brees are seen as the bullies when, at the end of the day, they're both different sides of the same damn coin?

And if you don't see a problem with this, then, newsflash, you are the problem!

So, I end my rant with this:

And a short tag list containing: @amityravenclawelf and @coco-rena because I know these two are looking forward to this!

Have a wonderful day everyone!

And I apologize for the typos but I was HEATED!!