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#how much people change in 2 YEARS is insane
derrypubliclibrary · 23 days
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hold on i have a question
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sludgeguzzler · 1 year
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man. i changed so much these past years
#im different from last years me who was different from 2021 me who was different from 2020 me and so on and so forth#it feels kinda weird thinking about it bc i went through *so much stuff*#all of it in just the past 4 years... insane#i found out i was trans. i went on lockdown. i started posting my art online. i made online friends.#i went through three different relationships. every single one of them changed me forever.#i started writing. i finished middle school. i read homestuck. i used discord everyday for 2 years.#i found my personal sense of style. i started going tk school again. i made friends irl. i lost all the online friends i had.#(thay wasnt bc of any scandal i just left the friendgroup and then started to slowly interact more with ppl irl#whi sorta made my online interactions dwindle especially one-on-one interactions#i think i feel better like this go be honest with you. the connections feel stronger and i feel closer to the friends ive made#not saying i dont like the people i know and befriended here just saying that not being chronically online anymore really changed how i#go through with internet interactions)#damn. really feeling the passage of time now.#also this is not a sad reminiscent post im *really* glad im in the place i am in life right now#i have a qpp i have an irl friendgrouo that i feel 100% comfortable with for the first time in my life im doing ok at school#i have a vision for my future my relationship with my parents is sooo much better#idk man. compare that with 14 year old me eating alone at school bc i was too scared to talk with the other people on my class and like.#yeah man. im doing a lot better#i DO have to update my art blog though. its been too long sincd i posted anything#talk
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pepprs · 1 year
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june 27th give it up for june 27th
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#purrs#delete later#sure would be an INFINITELY more special and auspicious day if there wasn’t going to be • thunderstorms all day • a budget meeting • two#back to back orientations where i am going to have to take on 2X THE FACILITATION ROLESSSSS 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪 bc we’re doing that now. LMFAOOOOOO#<- and by that i mean splitting up the facilitation so instead of 4 ppl shari ng responsibility for talking AND doing logistics there’s 2#ppl talking and 2 ppl doing logistics. and mutuals need i remind you that facilitating this specific session requires being extremely high#energy and mobile and getting ppl ‘hyped’ and there are 383729473 reasons why that is difficult for me to do in front of 100+ new students#plus three cofacilirators i am scared of / intimidated by for various reasons. im going to be sick soooo genuinely. i HATE this 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣#anyways yeah. today is my one year anniversary and also my first day as an fte so. 🫠 and one year ago today was pretty awful too like my#first day was actually extremely extremely bad and i cried like multiple times every day that week bc it kept getting worse so. love how#things have changed so substantially since then and the things that triggered me on that day aren’t an issue anymore <3 (they are very much#still an issue it’s just the specific people involved have changed bc half the ppl working here including one of my dearest closest#mentors who was deeply involved in that situation have left the university and now it is utterly unrecognizable and every day i wake up in#an alternate universe i know deep down i am not supposed to be in and yet im trapped in it irreversibly and this IS my universe now. lolll 🥰#)) also ik it’s stupid to still be grieving over this but like. the entire way it all went down + the fact that it even did in the first#place and the STAGGGERING consequences of it. are kind of insane. every new development makes me feel more and more like im living in a fake#reality and nothing that is happening is supposed to be happening and im dreaming it all but it’s a bad dream. and idk how to accept#that this is NOT. a dream and that what happened happened and now i have to live with it and stop curling in on myself like a prey animal an#and isolating myself from everyone i love and taking every single conceivable situation badly. like tfw da therapy isn’t working 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰#anyways i need to go get ready and practice the fucking 16 page facilitation guide 🙄 see u on the other side lol
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axylotal · 1 year
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how has it been 2 years since the meetup. how HOW??
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the-raindeer-king · 4 months
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(A/N: This is part 2 to my Mama Riley au! Thanks for all the love on the first one. ❤ no content warning and I'm trying to keep this gender neutral. Enjoy!!!)
You never expected your angry rant to actually change Simon's behavior. But it has, based on Mama Riley's weekly updates. He's stopping by more, staying longer. He's actually telling her things, mainly about his coworkers, but she's just happy he's finally opening up to her.
While you believe her, you're not seeing the change yourself. Fridays are when you have dinner with Mama Riley, and now apparently Simon too. He just… stares at you, a permanent frown on his face. As if you're the one intruding.
Part of you is glad he doesn't talk much. The few sentences he does speak, the low timber of his voice makes your heart race. Behind the scars and unwelcoming attitude, Simon Riley is a handsome man. But your loyalty lies with his mom. He needs to be a better son, and some silly crush isn't going to change your mind that easily.
Ironically, it's said loyalty that makes Simon fall for you so fast. His loyalty is rock solid, a promise held steadfast, an ache he feels in his chest every morning. There's no one Simon cares more about than his mom, and to see someone else care so deeply and fiercely about her makes you so insanely attractive to him. On top of that, your concern for Mama Riley made you willing to say something to him, and Simon knows he's off-putting and scary.
What I'm getting at is that this man is so down bad, it's not even funny. He'd literally take you to the court house and marry you immediately, if you were willing. But you're not, and he's kind of clueless on how to convince you to give him a chance. He'd rather catch a live grenade bare handed than ask his mom.
His mom who clocked the crush immediately, and is trying to help him without helping him. Even if their relationship is strained (much better now thanks to you!), she knows her son, and she knows he has feelings for you. And while she's not trying to meddle, she is trying to create opportunities for y'all to interact and get to know each other.
Opportunities that Simon keeps fumbling because he clams up so bad around you. He's never been good around people in general, and his crush on you just makes it twice as bad. Plus, he's aware that you hate him, and that's not doing him any favors either.
Mama Riley gives him time to make an attempt, only to watch him struggle and usually fail. But the attempts he's making with small talk, bad jokes, bringing you small knick knacks from deployment; it seems to be working. You're both opening up to each other, growing a friendship.
But as the months pass, nothing grows beyond a friendship. You don't want to ruin things between yourself and Mama Riley. Plus, you're not entirely sure where Simon's feelings lie. He's just as weird and off-putting as he was in the beginning, just now he tells you bad jokes and calls you ‘love’.
And, while Mama Riley promised herself that she wouldn't meddle - Simon's a grown man after all, he should be able to handle this - it's almost painful for her to watch the way you and Simon dance around each other. Nobody here is getting any younger, and after almost a year of watching you two, she decides to take matters into her own hands.
Simon's two months into deployment, when Mama Riley invites you over for routine Friday dinner. You're barely one glass of wine in, when she drops the bombshell on you.
“You know, Simon's in love with you.”
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makelemonade · 5 months
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how people find out you’re dating them
pt2; cyno, diluc, thoma, neuvillette
SUGGESTIVE
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Cyno
He probably keeps it a secret for 2 weeks until Candace, Alhaitham and Tighnari sniff it out- literally. But in the end it’s not them who find out it’s you.
His jokes change.
Like, insanely.
There’s no more horrible puns- well, there are sometimes, but his humour starts to change to multiple different types of jokes and Candace is the first to notice.
She has been at his side for YEARS protecting the desert so when she actually laughs at his joke for the first time her heart literally drops from shock because did she actually just laugh!!?!?! At CYNO’S JOKE?!
She brings it up with Alhaitham and Tighnari and even they are surprised and of course because they’re nosy people, they decide to figure it out. 
Alhaitham keeps an eye on Cyno whenever he’s in the Akademiya for work. He noticed the way Cyno is always in a rush which before he never was. It’s almost like Cyno has something to do, he thinks.
That’s when he realizes and brings up the idea to them that what if cyno is seeing someone? Tighnari feels a little betrayed knowing they are best friends and that cyno tells him everything but he does slightly agree with the theory. 
He agrees with the theory once he smells expensive products on cyno. Cyno used to never once care about his hair or how nice he smelled given the fact he’s in the desert a lot but he smells a lotion on him one day and realizes that 100% Cyno is seeing someone.
They just have no idea who.
One day they’re talking about it in Alhaitham’s office within the Akademiya, and Nahida comes in one day.
“What are you all talking about?” She asks innocently, eyes peering up at all of them as she hops on Alhaitham’s desk to sit on. 
“We think cyno is seeing someone.” Alhaitham answered.
Her eyes lit up. “Oh right! Y/N!”
“We don’t kno- wait what?” Candace stares at her shocked.
Nahida just giggled. “He dreams about her a lot.”
They all immediately run out of the office and nahida starts to think maybe she shouldn’t have revealed that. 
Diluc
kaeya.
For months now people have noticed that Diluc was taking less time at the bar and was always rushing to get home. He was more talkative and he was even fighting less with Kaeya.
It creeped Kaeya out if we’re being honest here.
So one night you’re hanging out with Kaeya and Venti at the bar while Diluc is working and it’s a pleasant night for you all! 
Venti was singing, strumming the lyre! Kaeya was making jokes and Diluc was laughing at them! It was- wait what? 
Kaeya doesn’t realize until later that night that Diluc laughed at one of his jokes. 
At the end of the night you tell the others you’re going to stay and help Diluc clean up since Charles was off for the night and they pay no attention to it. Kaeya doesn’t either- the only thing he wants is answers.
So one hour after closing, Kaeya bursts into the bar thinking you’d finished helping up Diluc and you were already gone.
But instead he found you bent over the bar, skirt PUSHED up and Diluc right behind you and Kaeya immediately turns back around, knowing his question was already answered.
Of course he immediately tells venti, but not what he saw. He does not want anyone knowing he ever witnessed that even if it was for 0.5 seconds.
Thoma
He starts to deny his help whenever people in the city ask him for something and it’s so shocking that it reaches Ayato through gossip and he HAS to talk to Ayaka about it.
Thoma is an incredible and amazing man; he’s always willing to help out anyone and everyone at every second so of course it’s a shock when he starts denying and is rushing home.
“Is something wrong with him? Is he upset? Is he sick?!” Ayaka has never seen Ayato panic like this about his best friend.
“I’m sure he’s fine.” Ayaka giggled. “Maybe he’s just realized that his kindness is taken much advantage of. Personally I think it’s great.” 
“Or he has someone to return home to every night.” 
Both the siblings yelped and their swords were out in an instant, pointing at whoever snuck into their conversation.
Miko was unphased, putting both her hands on the swords and lowering them. “Apologies, it wasn’t my intention to sneak up but it was surely my intention to eavesdrop.” She grinned.
The weapons were away in an instant and Ayaka started to question. “What do you mean someone to come home to?”
“Have you not noticed his need to rush his duties everyday?” Miko asked, and giggled when both the siblings looked at each other with a “no I have not” face. “Wow; I hardly ever see him and even I know of his current actions! Well, if you two are really so keen on trying to figure out what’s ‘wrong’ with him; he has a lover. A secret one, at that, and it seems as if he just really wants to spend the night with them after a long day of work. I’d assume his lover is Y/N, the one who works for me. You have noticed his frequent trips to the shrine, haven’t you?”
The two siblings just stared at each other in shock before they were both running off in different directions; Ayato to find out any information on who you were and Ayaka running to find Thoma to demand answers.
In truth, Miko just saw the two of you kissing on your break in a hidden spot and you both still had no idea she had seen. 
Neuvillette
THOSE DAMN MELUSINES. 
They’re adorable; the cutest little things ever and it’s so cute how he takes care of them but you can never trust them with a secret because they will pass it on to EVERYONE. 
It’s when they do their usual rotations within the buildings; Guard the doors.
In full honesty it was yours and his fault for being, well, quite loud that even though his desk was far from the doors, the Melusine’s could still hear everything and it was insanely embarrassing but they were immediately talking about it and were shocked when you walked out of his office 2 hours later, pretending it was some random meeting.
The next day, one of them- Sigewinne- comes up to him in his office and he gives her a gentle smile. “Good morning, Monsieur Neuvillette!”
“Good morning, Sigewinne. Would you like anything?” He opened one of his drawers which was full of mélusine-appropriate snacks.
Sigewinne shook her head. “No thank you, Monsieur Neuvillette! Thank you for offering! We were wondering if Mademoiselle Y/N was coming today?”
He looked at them confused. “Uhm, I believe she is for another meeting in a few hours. Why?”
“Just so then we’ll know when to give you two privacy, Monsieur Neuvillette!” Sigewinne skips away and it takes a few seconds for him to fully process what she meant and becomes mortified.
You’re insanely confused when all the melusines greet you and say hi to you and ask if you want anything when you come in. 
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suguru-getos · 10 months
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— satosugu as boyfriends —
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it’s hard to decide who’s your bigger fan, satoru or suguru. they’re so in love with everything you do & are so supportive! it took a LOOONNNGG way though— let’s say you met them when they were still in school & so were you. though — you were not a sorcerer. satoru doesn’t mind, he hated non-sorcerers before for making him the reason he’s so looked upto. now thanks to suguru, he wants to protect them. suguru knew you much before than satoru, you were his neighbor after all. how else could you hangout with people who have such major power differences?
things changed after the riko incident— you could see the hatred that suguru slowly festered within him. there were days satoru came to suguru’s apartment to relax & play games with their other juniors like nanamin or haibara. these days you could hardly see the fun… suguru goes out and comes home & that’s all. you and him used to play together as kids and despite you reaching out, suguru was shutting down.
it was until he killed his own parents — that satoru took matters into his own hands. killed hundreds of people & adopted, some girls!!?!?!?? what was even happening!! to protect you, satoru shifted you to the gojo estate. it was simple really, you were a non-sorcerer & suguru would not really care about your life right now just to prove a point.
a year went by just processing what was happening. of course— spending a year with gojo satoru also meant that you two had become incredibly close. earlier, you were invited by suguru over because you & him had always played gaming consoles together. right now, it was totally different. you didn’t know satoru was so mature, and so kind when needed, although keeping his childishness still intact. you were the only one he could openly talk about suguru with. not even shoko — her & yaga had started calling him geto to detach maybe. yet it’s endearing to see such fondness in satoru’s eyes for his bestfriend aka almost lover aka what could have been.
long story short— suguru could not kill you. it’s sickening to think he could do so with his parents but after a year or two when he finally went to the gojo estate having known your whereabouts & missing the chaste peck he stole when things were alright. he cried. hugging you tenderly. expressing how he thinks he shouldn’t have been high on adrenaline that day & did what he did… he wants people like satoru to suffer less. he wants to do something ‼️
it takes a while for suguru to start healing, no one suspects that the strongest sorcerer satoru gojo had secretly kept his best friend in the gojo estate along with his almost girlfriend. :33 even the girls are present with megumi and tsumiki & despite their contrasting personalities— things have seemed to settle for once.
you knew suguru liked to cook so you were now greeted by him preparing you the sweetest ever breakfast in bed, meanwhile satoru insisted you sleep with him (to protect you) :3 yeah as ifff 💁🏻‍♀️ man was too shy to make the first move just yet because you had been trusting him so good. afraid to fuck up. though when you agree? oh he is out of this world. suguru is happy too, in a way he also gets to spoil satoru like this.
satoru uses his old money to ensure you three go on trips at least once every 2-3 weeks. the recent one that you remember is paris. for new years !! it was beautiful to confess your love for each other and finally officially start dating. you were spoiled by insanely hot balcony sex that day. ;)
suguru has improved & also started honing his skills. though during one of the much intimate conversations, you had asked him to trust you enough to come home to after swallowing the sabotaging negativity of a curse & to let you kiss it away. <3 you trust him to follow through with it.
suguru can get especially testy when you’re around your period and satoru decides to mess with your mood. normally, satoru’s teasing is ignored but during those days he gets smacked from sugu. :3 satoru just wants your mood to be better :(( not in the same sense as suguru perhaps. so satoru takes on the role of your sugar daddy as usual. getting you your favorite snackies and stuff.
there is no power dynamic as such between the two of them. really— they’re just equals and you like that despite being in a relationship, satosugu can be switches to each other and daddy doms to you as always.
satoru was the first one who discovered that making you feel smaller, would regress you up a little. you’d cutely pout & get subby and babytalking to you during that rare occaision would actually get him you in the form of putty in his hands. so satosugu are mostly like “let daddy handle it sweetness.” / “oh no you’re too small for that, give me.” / “no baby you can’t reach there, let daddy help.” and ugh it makes you so fucking submissive for them they love that & YOU love that😩
satoru and suguru together decided to get you another cat which would be a cute little brother for your pet. they are such good pet fathers you often wonder how good they’d be to kids — oh wait, 😏 you have their adopted babies to witness that first hand too! how lucky! 🍀
nsfw hcs later alligator i’d elaborate on this more later too! enjoy my word vomit besties 👯‍♀️ send me jjk askies 🙇🏻‍♀️ thank you!
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yandere-writer-momo · 4 months
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Hey Momo! What’cha think about thissss
👑 Reader x Yandere Kingdom
You were a breath of fresh air – the calm after a storm. The empire needed change. Their once honorable king was driven to insanity from the death of your mother. This leading to years of infighting amongst your elder siblings for power. Despite the tragedies that submerged the palace into darkness….your light never faded. Your beauty caught their gaze, but your benevolence captured their hearts. You were nothing like those demons. The denizens of the empire, chose to ignore tradition and swear allegiance to you — and only you. They only want what’s best for their darling little prince/princess. You do so much for them. Please, let them return the favor…
(Song Inspo: “Swan Lake, Op. 20, Act 2”)
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I couldn’t imagine how horrifying it would be for poor princess reader who is worshipped by her every citizen to the point that they eliminated all competition for the crown for her. Whose citizens refused to allow their precious princess to ever be married off, instead selecting the best looking (and best endowed) amongst themselves to be her concubines. Knights, stable hands, maids, bar keeps, blacksmiths, bakers, it didn’t matter what job they had, they were all loyal to their princess. Those very selected few who often indulge in orgies with her where she is the star of the show. Always pampered and lovingly fondled as she’s brought to heights of pleasure she didn’t even know existed. All because her citizens loved her.
The princess is constantly folded up in a pretzel whether it’s to be eaten out until she’s overstimulated or stuffed to the brim with various semen, the princess is never long without her servants close by… her pants and moans were music to their ears. Her name a constant prayer in their lips as they did their best to make sure her perfect pussy was never empty.
Poor princess reader is constantly doted on by her citizens who are just a little too obsessed with her. And this all came from her kindness of giving them all a better life. These people were now determined to give her an even better one. One where her every need is always taken care of.
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satoruhour · 11 months
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HIHII hope you are doing well!!!
I have a request but if you're not comfortable writing it's completely fine too!!
Anyways~ can you write something with University professor geto x top student reader??? They have a lot of sexual tension and geto continuously targets the reader in his lectures only for her to storm into his office after a test in which he didn't give her the marks she deserved just so he could piss her off and eventually leading them to blow off some steam together hehe-
HEJSJSH ANYWAYS I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT REST OF THE DAY💗💗
-🍒
I GOT THAT DUMB D*CK !
a/n: hi cherry 2! saying 2 because i already have another cherry anon, thank u for waiting for this btw sorry this took so long omggg!!! i wanna make it similar to the short blurb i did here, but ill leave out reader being a camgirl! a lot of lore talk, just a warning
wc: 8k (sigh ....)
warnings: so much lore lol sorry, no beta we die like men, age gap (32 / 24), professor!geto, fem!reader, geto is also a cam worker, masturbation (both f and m), toy use during f! masturbation (vibrator), fantasising, pet names, praise, degradation, use of ‘slut’ and ‘whore’, oral (m receiving, f receives briefly at the end), dumbification (ig?) face-fucking, deep-throating, spitting in mouth, unprotected sex, creampie / breeding kink, cum eating, implied multiple rounds, n*sfw under the cut
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no one could really pinpoint the reason why professor geto had picked on you, called you out so much, and why you entertained the incessant questions. it was unbecoming of a prof., he knew, it was never smart to favour one person (negatively, in this case) in a room of bright students who could read between the lines. but he just feels himself so drawn to your furrowed eyebrows and words laced with venom, because at the end of the day, he can see that you aren’t all talk.
you challenge his views and you do it in a way that catches him off-guard. you propose insane arguments that you willingly would die at the grave just to find evidence for; or it could just be because he was staring too much at the way your mouth moved and your eyes expressed everything to pay attention to your words, finding that you were just too beautiful to be chasing a linguistics degree.
this was another thing: geto suguru could possibly have anyone he wanted. he was fine. shoulders pulled back in proper posture, hair either tied up fully or just halfway, and always, always wearing shirts with sleeves that reach his wrist. to that, everyone could see just how bulked the man was, top looking too tight all the time.
geto knew he was fine, too, because on top of (and before) being a professor, he found that he could get a good amount of money by just streaming — camera propped below his neck and obviously tight button-up shirt discarded to reveal his tattooed body, while he has his legs spread and the thirsty, horny comments flooding in on the platform. it’s been a norm by now, started from his uni days where he needed some extra money to support his fees and living necessities.
one year turned into two, two years turned into stagnancy during his third and fourth years (save for a few occasional streams), and up came a little funny graduation stream suggested by his best friend. geto had spent a good half ’n hour talking about his time in university and thanking his viewers, changing up the setting almost immediately by showing hard he was.
[uzum4kisl0ver]: YEAAAH we’re getting to the good stuff, thank u for feeding us so well these few years uzumaki-san!!
[minstash96]: Congrats on graduating Uzumaki-san!! I rmb joining during your third year and found out from everyone u were getting busier </3 but Im glad youre back again!!!
[g_bigdick_s]: fellas is it gay to support your best friend’s graduation jerking off stream
the flood of “yes”’s replying to gojo made the streamer laugh, thankful that his best friend had listened a little and at least changed gojobigdicksatoru to just his “G.S.” initials to avoid people finding his LinkedIn. from there, geto had gotten into the true nature of his stream easily, fishing out his cock to stroke and loving the sounds of tips coming in, the name of his alias Uzumaki continually commented. since then, it’s become a side hustle — finishing his masters, training to become a professor, it’s all natural to him, taking even further steps to make sure he isn’t found out.
exactly, he could have anyone he wanted — a fan from his streaming account, or one of satoru’s regular fwb’s but instead he finds himself drawn to someone else, you, the second year student in his bilingualism and multilingualism module that he has no trouble teaching despite his freshly employed status.
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at the start of the week, the gods decided thought it would be funny to delay the campus bus that would take you to the english department for a consultation session with your professor. you couldn’t focus in lectures due to bad cramps, you were behind on your non-major related courses, the bad luck just seemed to seep into one day after another. you had woken up late, putting on a terrible outfit that no one really cared about, except your professor who just had a smirk on his face.
“if you notice, runes were created as they were spoken — spelt as they are said which almost look like ‘pictographs’,” prof. geto switches to the next slide with the runes and their meanings alongside a jumble of symbols that send the whole class into hysterics, “can anyone sound out the phonetics of these runes to me? hint: even though i said they look like pictographs, the first rune is definitely not an E.”
he was known for asking questions during lectures, pleased with anyone that would even try because he knew how quiet lecture theatres could get. he was exactly like that in university, too, letting satoru take all the attention due to the many unknown people in the same room. now, he found that asking the questions was a little entertaining, seeing the way students look back down at their laptops and avoid eye contact. but he doesn’t need to do anything and his body is already turnt towards you. he’s not even pointing physically, which he thinks he’s done a good job of restraining himself.
ᛊᛃᚨᚾᛖᛚ
“the words and names should be as they sound — so ‘s’ or ᛊ should translate into a ‘c’ since they didn’t have a C back then and it’s the closest sound to C. ᛃ can’t be ‘h’ because of the usage of H in hagl . . its pronunciation is different and plus, we’ll spell it how we say it, so maybe it’s ‘j’?” you mutter to yourself, an urge to answer the quickest, always. you aren’t sure where this streak came from, but you’ve been smart always, “sja . . it either can be chanel or channel since there’s a rule you can’t use the same rune twice in succession . .”
professor geto already knows you’d be the first to answer, raising your hand even without looking since you were still calculating the other four letters which you put together fairly quickly.
you take the safest route, “chanel, with one N.”
geto clicks his tongue and sucks in a breathe, “so close, miss (y/n), but it’s because i cheated a little on my part.” you can feel your blood boil and the grimaces of other students when he switches to the next slide and there’s a little grin on his face. it says — ‘there is no distinction between capital and small runes, nor can you use the same rune twice continually.’
“you are right, partially, but i did want to drive home the point,” which he’s sure you already know. “that words with two N’s or L’s or whatever, would only show up in the runic language as only one character.” your face morphs into something of annoyance and the grin on professor geto’s face only widens — that defiant, headstrong nature is something he loved, but the grin drops a little when he imagines something . . out of the classroom. his pants tighten.
you mirror him, clicking your tongue and reluctantly taking down the note in your documents before sinking into your chair — not even chō, you friend, could find the proper words to comfort you. you spend the rest of the lecture, sulking, unwillingly answering his incessant questions with a scowl on your face and a headache forming.
this never stops—
“miss (y/n)?” one-on-one meetings were the bane of your existence, but it was the only way to connect with your professors properly — here, geto calls you to talk about your latest essay where you were the last on the roster. by then, everyone has filed out with nobara waiting for you just outside the classroom.
“don’t have to call my name, i’m the only one here.” you mutter under your breath, and geto feels a little annoying today.
“what was that?”
“nothing—”
he hums, scooting his chair closer once you sit, and while you find the gesture a little weird, you’re overcome with just how good he smells and it only fuels your hatred more. it’s no fair that he’s so . .
“miss (y/n).” you sigh with an apology, frankly not ready to hear how he’d be attacking your essay. it was written on a rushed timeline, you didn’t cite your sources properly, you knew some criticism was warranted as much as you didn’t like to hear it from your professor’s mouth.
“. . you do know you can’t just rely on your brain, right?” geto speaks softly and you feel your heart flutter at his tone. he points to the places where you forget your in-text citations.
“but professor, information about syntax and phonetics just comes like second nature . .” you mumble, ignoring how he closes his eyes and hisses, “and all the sources on the internet say different things.”
“then just find a reliable one.”
you tsk, taking the paper from him and flipping to the next page, “well, i did one here.” the paper makes a sound when you press your finger into it, aware of how close you are. from here you can feel the heat radiating off his body, unconsciously rubbing your thighs together.
“too long ago, needs to be within five years.” geto’s lying through his teeth.
“no, it does not!” you pull back and look at him incredulously. ah, the feeling’s gone, “not in language related papers, at least!”
“but that claim was from the 2000’s, miss (y/n), for all we know it could’ve been resolved by then.”
“then why didn’t you say anything about chō’s scholar article from the 1990’s?” you’re standing up, now, furrowed eyebrows depicting the very thing you feel: confusion, agitation at being treated like this. given you weren’t in the best condition when you wrote this essay, but you still gave it your all.
“her argument was about the interconnectedness between the romance languages — yours,” he punctuates while leaning back in his chair. you don’t like how your eyes flit down to his lap, but you’re forced to look up when he stands up too, “is about the use of ciphers in comparison to an immature language developed on the internet that created in the 2019s. any scholar claim before that would be void.”
your blood boils just like that day. alas, he had a good point, but like always, the gentle slit of his eyes and the all-knowing smile didn’t match the bullying he was laying on you and you despise it.
even! even, as you notice how there’s probably less than a inch between your faces as you puff out your chest to look more intimidating and yet geto suguru towers over you. and even when your heart beats loudly in your ears, feeling his hot breath fan over your own face while you don’t miss how he licks his lips and glances down to yours not-so-secretly.
you swallow at the silence, until there’s the annoying notification of his Outlook cutting the tension and soon you’re snatching the essay from him, walking to where your bag is. although you want to let your anger overflow, all you say is a tame, “noted. thanks, prof” with a glare, eye twitching.
you made sure to slam the classroom door with shaky hands . .
. . but you’re not very good at capping your rage. “i swear to god! he better fucking check his mirror and admire himself because soon i’m going to beat him up so bad that everyone can’t recognise him.” geto’s lips turn up in a small smirk at your flared expression he just witnessed — he just loves your dirty mouth and he finds himself thinking of it more and more often.
chō only can tut, “so you find him attractive?”
“what? how the hell did you infer that from my rant?” you scoff, shoving her to the side, not aware that your whispered outburst is heard as he’s packing up. he simply enjoys looking at you walk away through the glass slit of the door, hips swaying unknowingly.
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“bad news, guys,” geto, or rather Uzumaki, sighs on screen, adjusting so the lens of the camera rested just below his collarbones. easily, his chat fills up with a mixture of horny comments and genuine questions, chuckling to himself as he unbuttons his shirt. he feels more like a sinner at this point, suddenly flustered with the confession he’s about to make.
“i think i’ve taken quite a liking to someone,” geto hums, hands going to his trousers to palm his bulge. he had to get home immediately after that, cancelling his meetings for the day. with a single text to gojo, the white-haired man was excited to hear everything about this new person, thankful that his best friend will finally not be alone.
[g_bigdick_s]: TELL US! TELL US!!!! TELL US!
but professor geto is lost instantly, imagining you as he massages his erection. thinking about your anger transforming into pleasure, into obedience for him as he forces your mouth down on his cock. oh . . how’d your mouth and hands feel, how’d your pussy feel.
geto groans, already removing his dick from the constraints, and pumping it to full length. he doesn’t even talk much, only the endless comments and tips reminding him he was still on live. spitting on his hand, he wraps his hand around himself again, thumbing the tip and hoping it’d be your tongue swirling around it.
what would you look like on your knees, taking each inch of his cock down your throat? would he be able to wipe the defiance off your face? would he be able to fuck his smart student, dumb?
“you need a good destress, woman,” chō suggests over the phone, voice a bit uneven due to it being stuck in between her shoulder and ear, “go on camstar or something, i’m sure you’ll find something hot there.”
“chō, i am not going on a porn streaming website! i’ll very much settle for my smut fics, thank you.”
“boo, don’t you get bored? i get that normal adult industry videos are super inaccurate but . . when was the last time you’ve watched an unfiltered, unedited jerk off vid? that’s the hottest.”
you scoff, “yeah, like you would know, miss complain-whenever-you-get-dick-pics.”
“that’s because it’s unsolicited! plus all the men who send me pics have ugly dicks. if anything i’m more open to get unsolicited pussy pics rather than consensual dick pics at this point.” your friend nonchalantly says, spreading her fingers to look at her manicured nails, “but anyway, prof geto is on your ass too much lately. maybe he wants to get in your pants?”
you don’t recoil at the suggestion as much as you expect to and you’re puzzled at that — “please never say that again.” just as you’re saying this, you’re typing in camstar.org even though you told yourself not to but deep down, you know that you’ve been craving more than just twitter links and porn with plot stories. on the front page, you’re seeing a video thumbnail of a guy with a fairly big . . feature, countless tattoos lining his body while you can catch a faint glimpse of his long hair in the dark room — it’s the only one that draws you in, other streams merging into a blur.
chō’s voice fades off when you notice just how popular the stream is, cursor hovering over the title (“just a ramblefap, need to release some tension”) almost tempting you to click.
“okay, will get back to you,” succumbing to your needs, you shamelessly grab your vibrator just as she cheers into the phone. you can hear that’s my girl! on the other side as you stifle a smile, bidding a goodbye before you settle into bed. from there, you do what you always do: relax for a few, slow your breathing, get yourself wet a little—
click.
The stream you have attempted to view has ended a minute ago. We apologise for the inconvenience caused. View more livestreams below:
you shove the vibrator under your pillow and bury your head into it, screaming.
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“i mentioned in yesterday’s lecture that Latin evolved from the dialects of the Italic peoples of ancient Italy, or Latium, a region in central western Italy. over time, Latin absorbed elements from other languages, such as Etruscan and Greek, and it became the main language of the western Mediterranean.” professor geto rambled on in classic geto fashion — it was his passion that made him so easy to listen to, as with the many enamoured girls with googly eyes and the guys who wish they could carry themselves the way geto did.
you’d say the same thing: his love for his subject of study made him attractive — charming even — as much as you didn’t want to admit to your friend, but you’d be more open with your attraction like everyone is if he wasn’t—
[9:52am, (y/n) -> chō 💟] so fucking annoying and cocky and picking on me all the time!!!!!! im soooo sick of him im so serious omfg ....
but today, he’s looking less at you and more at other students, or even marvelling at the terrible paint job of the classroom as he goes from slide to slide. he talks about the derivation in which French separates from Latin, borrowing similar spellings and meanings from the old language while separating the way they are spoken.
“French is the most divergent of the romance languages because of strong Gallic and Frankish influences. The Celtic Gauls spoke a language similar to Old Dutch but adopted Latin as the Romans invaded Gaul.” you don’t even have to look at him to get him thinking of lewd things, spiralling into his fantasies ever since last night. geto is a little fatigued, too, having lost sleep over his fucking student which he just can’t help bothering. excitement at having you in class before is now turning into dread with every week that passes, and this week is just one instance.
“uh— i-i know you guys aren’t well-versed in either, but with your knowledge of both languages,” geto pulls at his tie. he feels hot, “discuss with your tutorial groups, the differences between the two and list down examples. just come up with one difference, but preferably name a few instances.”
[10:01am, (y/n) -> chō 💟] wish u were here im so bored 😭😭 profs acting so weird today tho
[10:01am, chō 💟 -> (y/n)] is he looking hot and bothered, nervous ??? like he wants to cry? im tellin you he wants you fr
of course she’d come out of her sickness-induced sleep just to bother you about him having the hots for you.
[10:02am, (y/n) -> chō 💟] you’re so ... i swear pls shut up he may want me but i do NOT want him
[10:03am, chō 💟 -> (y/n)] not even while you were just ranting about how his side profile looked a little too good in lecture yesterday?? anyway i hope you’ll be able to get that nut tn 🙏🏼 that guy on camstar sounded hot asf
[10:04am, (y/n) -> chō 💟] ikr i cant believe i got cockblocked by a fuckin livestream ending 💀 thank you fr i need it atp
“any progress here?” he comes out behind you and you slam the phone so hard you give the both of you a scare while your other friends exchange giggles with each other. what you don’t know, is how his arm is positioned upon the back of your chair and his whole body hovers just beside yours. you’re threatened to look, but you know if you do, you’d be falling deeper into the pit that you promised yourself not to fall into.
“yup, we’re just discussing things about how in terms of grammar, French has conjugation but almost no declension. but— uh, it rather uses word order to express some of the intricacies that Latin expresses through word endings.”
you can see geto nod from your peripheral, “good. good answer, any examples to show me?”
your friends nod towards you since you’re usually the one with all the information about different languages. they aren’t foreign to the way geto keeps calling on you to answer him, too, so you shouldn’t have any problem with this, right?
wrong. you’re stuttering through your answer, turning your head finally and being met with the sight of prof geto looking down on you like a deer caught in headlights. you think that being in lecture theatres, sitting near to the back and your hatred in general has desensitised you to the beauty of your professor, because being under him like this makes your core pulse uncomfortably and your voice shaky.
“. . hm? what was that?”
“i was uhm— saying how— uh,” the way geto nods at you makes you more nervous, painting you as someone who someone who had all bark and no bite, but the other knows very well that you had a nasty bite. you’re smart and witty, pretty, hot as fuck, and if anything, it’s taking everything in geto not to bend you over and show you your place in this very classroom in front of everyone, too.
“little lady got nothin’ for me today?” geto purses his lips and lets his teasing side take over, an easy-going smile taking over his features that you just want to kiss and slap off at the same time. wait.
“i didn’t get enough sleep because i was too busy trying to rewrite the damn essay you said i had outdated and missing sources for,” you speak through gritted teeth, feeling a mixture of arousal and pure rage for the man hovering over you.
geto juts his lip out in a pout, face getting dangerously close to yours and challenging you. he just hopes your two friends won’t say anything, “well, darling, if you picked an easier topic to argue about, you wouldn’t be doing that, would you?”
“well, sorry i’m always trying to outdo myself. are you, professor geto? what with your boring suits and black and white slide designs?”
you click your tongue and turn back to your phone to pull up your chat with chō while geto takes a deep breath, desperately hoping the hard-on wouldn’t show through his slacks. your other two friends only giggle even more at the exchange, because for the rest of the class, professor geto is on edge, unable to teach coherently.
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[11:17pm, chō 💟 -> (y/n)] YOU DID WHAAAAATTTTT...???? GIRL YOU SAID THAT???!!!!!!
[11:18pm, (y/n) -> chō 💟] bro what if i get expelled.. i shouldnt have but he was pissing me off so much... i did put an apology in the end tho
by then, you’ve already submitted your rewritten essay, putting in a short note at the end for your behaviour in class. although you don’t take it back, you’re still trying to play it safe especially with how much you paid to get into university. you scroll along camstar, bored out of your mind and hoping to find something as compelling as the inked guy from last week, but nothing really draws you in. until you’re refreshing the page, and just like the previous time, the popularity of that same bulking guy seems to push his video to the top.
and finally, before you’re clicking into the video, you check out his profile: in his early thirties, started this account when he was 24 and in university. you smack your lips at that — he’s been doing this for almost ten years? that’s dedication. in curiosity, you scroll down his account, seeing the progression of which this guy built up his figure and tattoos that litter his body. he’s kept the same format, camera showing his body chest down until you’re lazy to scroll more, a little disappointed in not being able to find any indication of his face.
you think that maybe you saw a glimpse of that wrist tattoo that matched the tattoo on your professor’s wrist, but you could just be imagining things.
“alright guys . .” the man on the screen huffs, clothes already discarded to get straight to the point, and you’re recording a small snippet of the same guy you told chō about. “had a rough day today.”
the onslaught of comments going i can make u feel better!!! Take ur anger out on me Uzumaki-san makes you sputter and laugh, sending that video first before you’re taking another. your attention is stolen for a moment, seeing chō react with emojis to your video message (“let’s see what emails i got today, huh?”), but the structure of sentences that the man speaks soon brings you out of jollity and into shock.
“how cute, an essay sent straight to my email.” geto wants to do anything but look at emails right now, but ever since he’s gotten your rewritten assignment, it’s all he’s wanted to check out if it wasn’t for the many meetings and errands he had to run today. “yadda yadda . . oh?”
“i’m sorry for today’s lesson,” purposely pausing to leave out his name, geto continues on, “i shouldn’t have reacted in that way no matter the situation.” a smirk forms on his face while your body fills with dread. in your panic, you pull up your own document whilst catching all of this on camera, tracking each word as the man on camstar.org continues to say out your apology word by word.
and then bit by bit, you’re making out how the man behind the camera might, just might be your linguistics professor. the broad shoulders, the jawline, the long hair, the manspread . .
but even with your heightened combination of excitement and revelation, you don’t click away, blindly sending the video to your friend and then shamefully digging under your pillow to grab your vibrator.
“teaching people is so difficult sometimes, guys,” he grunts, pulling down his underwear and revealing his already hard cock. he lets out a shaky sigh as he wraps a hand around his shaft, “you usually get the people who won’t do any work, the ones who are absent half the time — usually they go hand in hand.”
professor geto laughs and you twitch at the lovely sound. “but . . there’s this one girl . . in my classes— f-fuck.”
you’re entranced, watching your professor masturbate in front of thousands of people who possibly didn’t know a thing about this man while you try to get your jaw off the floor, “who is entirely different from these categories.”
“she’s smart,” geto groans out and you watch transfixed as he starts to pump himself, hips grinding up into his palm, “she’s so smart that i’d want to get to know her one day and just talk about anything.”
“s-she’s so fucking attractive, too, you guys won’t even— oh goddd . .” you feel like you’re being watched, so you’re careful with how you’re putting your vibrator to your core and once you start it, the moan that leaves you lines up with geto’s deeper groans. it turns you on so damn much.
with his head tilted back, he’s long gone as he moves his hands faster and faster, the slick noises of his pre-cum and spit mixing in together — geto only wishes he could act on his desires once the course was over, but knows you’ll probably be mortified at the prospect. at least here, he can imagine that it’s your mouth or cunt doing all the work.
“s-shitttt . .” the professor sounds out, hissing when he thumbs his tip and even more pre comes spilling out and while you watch, you’re hypnotised by the beautiful moans in its perfect cadence and the thickness of his cock. by now his chest is heaving and he’s holding onto his bedsheets so tight you wish it was your thighs.
“i want to fuck her silly, fuck all of those stupid facts out of her head and get her dumb on my cock,” geto whines, hips fully bucking up now while you press your vibrator deeper into your clit. you’re left wondering how his mouth would feel, to shut him up by pressing him into your cunt until he can’t breathe, soak his stupid fucking suits, “want to hear her moan my name.”
you whimper at all the things professor geto swears he wants to do to you, grinding into your hand while he speeds up as well. he doesn’t speak, simply stroking himself as he thighs tense up and he squeezes his shaft with head full of visions of you in terribly lewd positions, making disgusting sounds, and all for him. it isn’t long before geto cums with a loud drawn out moan, shooting his cum onto his torso with a sigh before taking a sticky hand to his lips, licking it off — “i’d want to see my cum dripping out of her one day.”
that sends a chill down to your core, biting your pillow before you release softly all over your hand and vibrator; you spend the rest of the night watching professor geto’s other videos.
[12:32am, chō 💟 -> (y/n)] oh. OH..........
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“i should’ve just taken an off-day today, i do not want to get back our results.” chō rubs at her eyes and temples, wanting anything to do with the return of test marks, but unfortunately it was the week after midterms and it was inevitable, “don’t need to ask you though, you’re probably not worried at all.”
“trust me, i am,” you bite the inside of your cheek. it’s been at least . . two weeks after that whole debacle, and despite your intense vents with your friend and the continuous picking on by prof. geto, nothing out of the blue was happening. except, maybe, your growing physical need for your professor and your simultaneous, increasing hatred for him.
“it’s only midterms — you don’t need to worry too much since it doesn’t contain a high percentage. what you should be focusing on are your finals. we’ll work on your shortcomings and mistakes here so you guys will do the best when the time comes.”
and when professor geto comes around to hand you your test, all you do is glare up through your lids, taking it from him before feeling your whole world crumble.
“a B+?!” your mouth gapes open at the blatant 65/100 mark that glares back at you. you know that you would’ve gotten anything but a 65, willing yourself to study harder and harder just to rub it in his pretty little face that you weren’t falling behind in his class. at this point it’s got to be personal, so soon, you’re packing up your things angrily with the intent to storm his office after your other classes.
it’s late in the afternoon when you finally finish your other tutorials on a short fuse, him clearly getting ready to head home by the darkness of his office when you shove your way through the door.
professor geto is sat in a laid-back position, tie hung on the hooks installed in the office and a few buttons are unbuttoned, revealing the very familiar tattoos you’ve become acquainted with.
“to who do i owe the pleasure?”
“cut the crap, prof.,” you scowl, using your foot to slam the office door close. despite the late nights being buried in your sheets, you won’t let yourself be treated like this, “i deserved anything but a 65 on midterms.”
geto tilts his head, sitting up and gesturing out to you; you realise he wants to see your test paper.
“ah!” with a finger, he makes a show of finding for your obvious mistakes which was minimal — but the way he marks obnoxiously tells you everything you need to know, “here. your comprehension of the similarities between Latin and Ancient Greek was too surface level, you didn’t explain why—”
“i. did!” you press down into the paper like the first time, leaning over his table and reading out the exact answer you wrote just a few days ago, “here, since your blind ass wants to act like i wasn’t answering the question.” you push yourself into his desk more, eyes levelled with his. you dare him to say something smart.
“well, your explanation of the six cases in Latin left out the locative, the last one, and there were some problems in the conjugation that the test asked of you.”
“bullshit. show me, if you’re so confident.”
professor geto knows he’s hit a dead-end. he was telling lies, full of it, but he’s enjoying every second of the anger that translates into your features, of the growl in your voice. he leans back further the more you close in on him.
“nothing, right? so tell me, do you hate me that much?”
geto simply laughs, crossing his arms and reminiscing on the many nights he’s spent doing anything but.
“quite the opposite, sweetheart.” the name catches you off-guard for a moment, but your sour face returns soon enough.
“then what the fuck do you think you’re doing, picking endlessly on a student?”
your professor sits forward, prompting you to cower back. you think it’d be good to bring up whatever he’s got going on on camstar.org but you’ll wait to a good moment before you say anything about your trump card, until geto snaps you out of your stupor by towering over you. the sheer difference makes you swallow.
“because i like seeing you flared up and angry and mad.” professor geto surprises you with each second, the nonchalance in which he said it, the stupid, attractive smirk on his face. now’s the time.
you compose yourself, thinking of the best way to phrase this, “you know you’re not entirely safe, either, you know. i could report you with the frequency in which you’re picking on me.”
you point a finger to his chest, thinking you could get him to lay off immediately with this as much as you were hoping he wouldn’t. the attention was unwarranted but not entirely . . terrible, “that wouldn’t look so good on your record, right, Uzumaki-san?”
you relish in the surprise that seeps into geto’s pretty features but it’s a short-lived victory when he goes back into a relaxed state, expression neutral — “so you know.”
“know . . what?” your professor pulls away and walks around his desk, finally in close proximity to you like he’s always wished.
“how badly i want you.” he whispers, but doesn’t go past that, rather letting you figure everything out for yourself.
“‘. . fuck her silly, fuck all of those stupid facts out of her head’, right?” you mumble softly, not admitting to even chō that you had watched that livestream over and over enough to memorise the few sentences. geto wraps an arm around your waist to tug you closer, faces so close that you could just shut him up.
“go on.”
“you want me to go dumb on your cock,” professor geto mutters a correct which undeniably sends a thrill to your core.
“you want to hear me to moan your name.” “—want to hear her moan my name.”
a small smile spreads across his face (even if you left out the most important thing) as he finishes his own sentence with you, eyes clouded over with lust and your scent and he’s positive he can smell your soaked panties from here if he tries hard enough.
“that’s right.”
“sooo . .” by god, you fucking hated the man, but seeing someone stroke their cock to just the thought of you — how could you pass off such a good opportunity? “do you prefer professor geto, or suguru?”
geto groans at his first name usage, setting you on his desk and presses himself into you at the sound of papers flying to the floor, stationary falling to the ground. he can only hope no one walks in. he’s fully hard, loving how your legs naturally spread for him.
“whatever you want, baby.” and after, it’s all history with the way geto crashes his lips into yours, letting you pull at his jacket and shirt, practically ripping open the buttons to see his tattoos that you’re begging to see. slowly, he lets you trace them while he kisses down your neck, roughly pulling your sweater off of you. you have the cutest tits, packaged nicely in your bra which he has no trouble taking off. there’s a small sound that escapes his mouth when he unclasps your bra and your breasts come falling out.
“didn’t tell me you had such a nice pair . .” you giggle.
“yeah, like i would straight up tell my professor that.” with a hand, your hand follows the ink of his dragon that wraps around his body and torso, right down to his happy trail, “but i mean, you get the honour of seeing it now.”
with a squeeze to his bulge, you whisper, “maybe i’ll let you fuck them next time.”
geto lets out a little moan, “fucking minx,” before he latches his mouth onto your nipple, kneading the other greedily. a soft moan leaves your mouth as you knead his erection, a culmination of your combined groans in the quiet office. soon he’s giving attention to the other, a hand trailing down into your panties where he rubs your clit to test the waters, and he smiles into your skin at the way your hand falters and your head hangs forward.
“p-professor . .” it’s clear geto can’t wait, because he pushes a finger into you easily with how dripping wet you are, panties showing a dark patch of your juices. “s— so thick—”
“i know, baby, gotta stretch you out,” a soft pop! is heard as he comes off your nipple before he meets your lips in a sloppy kiss. he shoves his tongue into your mouth the moment he pushes a second finger in and he swallows your moans, letting you feel around his body to dig your nails in — it was just too damn much.
“so— suguru, your f-fingers, they’re so—” even with your protests, your hips grind up against his thick fingers that are pumping in and out of you, taking every last piece of fire in you as you succumb completely.
“what, miss (y/n)?” geto memorises the exact way all your previous blazing words are reduced to mere mewls and whimpers, alongside your pleas for more, more, more.
“i need something—” you whine when he pushes all the way inside, stretching your cunt so well as you clench around him like a vice and sucking him in, “i wanna make you feel good—”
you get at least a little resolve in the time it took you to say that, drunkenly unbuckling his belt before pulling his cock out. his tip is positively leaking, fingers curling instinctively in your pussy and your moans mingle together again.
“c’mon, prof, please?” geto tuts, reluctantly removing his fingers from your cunt which he wish he could spend more of his time in, but gives in to you as you switch positions, pushing him against his own desk. from there you’re going to your knees, marvelling at the cock you’ve watched on your very own screen.
“better than you imagined?”
you roll your eyes, “shut up or i’m blue-balling you.”
geto exhales forcefully, cut off when you put your mouth gently over his tip. you suckle on it like a pacifier, swirling your tongue around the mushroom head and looking up at him through your lashes; the sight is heavenly. the hair from his bun had fallen out, framing his pleasure-filled face, and the veins on his arms pop out so much from how harshly he’s grabbing the wood.
“f-fuck, baby . .” his words are lost once you start bobbing your head, encasing his shaft deep in your mouth as you suck and lick and slobber over his thick cock, using your hands to stroke the places you can’t reach. a choked moan weasels itself out of geto when one of your hands deviate to play with his balls, squeezing lightly at the sack while you continue to lick the underside of his length.
“take me like a slut, don’t you?” geto says breathlessly, fingers going through your hair to gather the strands into a makeshift ponytail, cradling your head to guide your mouth, but he soon starts to thrust into your waiting mouth.
“want me to fuck your dirty whore mouth?” your professor asks and you hate how much it turns you on as he brings you off to let you breathe for a moment. you stick out your tongue, big doe eyes just pleading to be used as your hands anchor themselves down to his belt loops.
“y—yes, prof., give me everything you got,” geto hums, seemingly satisfied with your answer as he taps your tongue with his tip, cock so heavy and thick it makes you whine a little before he shoves it in without warning. the moan that rumbles deep in your throat sends vibrations up his body and he starts a pace immediately.
“that’s it, that’s it—” you breathe through your nose as geto face fucks you, two hands covering the back of your head as he thrusts into your throat. your mouth’s just so damn warm and tight it has geto groaning non-stop while your eyes start to well up with tears. he uses you like a cocksleeve, abusing your throat each time his tip meets with it.
“fuuuckk— yes, yes, your throat’s so—” geto tilts his head back when he buries his cock in you, the deepest he’s ever been and your nose meets with his pubes, the smell of his musk and sweat making your eyes roll back in pleasure. suguru is all grunts before moving again, the gagging, gawking noises filling the small space.
“mmhm— mmf!” you moan around his length, trying your best to move your tongue along the underside of his cock. a hand goes down to quell the growing need of your cunt, slipping a finger or two in.
“dirty girl just can’t think straight when she has a— s-shit— cock in her, huh?”
you hum in agreement, eyes fluttering when you feel his tip twitch in your mouth and geto spills right into your throat with a long moan. your lids flutter close, taking as much cum as you can before coming off with a deep breath. strings of his cum and your saliva connect you to his cock, the lewdness of it all showing clearly in how sloppily you sucked your professor off.
“open.” and you show your tongue still full of his cum, taking the opportunity to lean down to let a ball of spit fall from his mouth. it drops painfully slow to your tongue, closing it only when you hear the rasp of swallow, “good girl.”
“think i’ve kept you waiting for too long, need to be in you,” geto brings you up by your upper arms, propping you up nicely onto his desk where you already start to leak into the wood, “do you want me to be in you?”
“only if you promise to stop picking on me, prof.,” you pout. really, a changed girl once you get some cock, huh?
“but you’re too cute not to bother, baby.” your pout deepens and geto feels a tug on his heart. oh, you were too adorable, knowing you’d kill him the next time he mentions this. he hopes they’ll be a next time.
“i mean it, suguru,” you murmur as he uses his tip to play with your juices, smearing it around your cunt. “treat me like a proper person.”
“can i at least treat you like a slut behind closed doors?”
you bit your lip, he’s asking for a next time, and who are you to reject him?
“whatever you want, professor,” you wiggle your hips along his cock, hoping for some friction which he grants to you with no problem, “use me. treat me like your cum dump.”
geto hisses at your tightness and your words as he bottoms out in you. he’s had your pussy once and already cannot get enough of you, moaning each time he moves in and out of your cunt. your walls hug him so snugly, sucking his cock in endlessly.
“baby, baby, baaaby . . your pussy’s so fuckin’— good—” he grunts into your ears, hips starting to thrust slowly into you. he swears he can see you in your tummy, asking you to look down, “look at how deep i am in you, sweetheart.”
you moan at just how big he was as you glance down, but you’re more focused on the way your pussy spreads for him, the cute veins on his length as he moves in you. you’re leaking so much that it’s effortlessly, the way he rams into you.
“sugu— suguru . . mmfuck—” geto groans upon feeling you rub your clit, your own hips bucking needily into his own as your juices start to drip down his balls. this was everything that he hoped would happen; your features morphed into pleasure, you descending into stupidity just from some dick, feeling your pussy, finally.
“hear yourself?” your professor proposes the question and you’re confused for a moment until he slows down and you whine at the sudden change, brought to attention just how soaking you were. the soft shlick, shlick, shlick sounds take your breath away, as with the translucent sheen of your juices coating his cock.
there, your professor resumes his pace, “hear how fuckin’ sloppy this pussy is for me. listen to her,” your senses are all overwhelmed: by how he hits all your sweet spots, the sweat on your back, your fast-beating heart and you let out a mangled whimper, “yesss . . that’s what i like to hear.”
geto smirks at how you can’t even answer, picking up his pace into a regular one. with his cock buried deep in you, you have no choice but to let your body move with his thrusts, jerking each time his balls meet your ass noisily.
“is this what the little lady needed? just some professor cock to get her to not be so damn uptight!”
“y—yessss . .” you’re delirious, “yesyesyes, suguru!” you squeal when he holds your legs up and pushes your legs into your chest, tongue lolling out at the deepness that he was in you.
“fucking slut,” geto mumbled, hips turning sloppy with fatigue taking over, but your cunt was just too good to stop, “where d’you want me to cum, baby?” he knows you’ll answer how he wants you to, especially after watching his livestream—
“i-inside— inside, pleaseplease,” the circles on your clit are messy, now, chasing your high more than ever, but your pussy is grasping onto him like a vice, prompting groans deep from his throat. “want your cum dripping out of me, prof—”
those words alone has geto shooting his load with a strangled grunt, switching to shallow, quick thrusts to pump you full of his cum. it comes out in hot, thick spurts, filling your insides more and more until it spills out the sides and you follow soon after, whole body convulsing from the intense orgasm you can’t stop shaking violently.
“take it— that’s it, attagirl,” he whines out, stroking his length to make sure you’re getting every last drop out of him, “take all my cum . .”
geto is sure he’s getting old by the way he feels lightheaded, having had to hold onto the edge of the table for a minute — but in that 60 seconds you’ve stumbled off the table and laid your chest over it, perking your ass up where your pussy continues to leak hot, white cum.
your professor takes one good look at your ass, hands going up to knead at them and spreads your cheeks. with his tongue, he eats his cum out of you, making your jerk at the sensitivity.
“oops, i’ve cleaned you up of my cum — guess i gotta give you a couple more loads,” geto props a leg up, eating you out, “it’s only right since my brightest student has suffered so much at my hands . .”
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tagging @arminsumi @shidouryusm @suguruplsr @crysugu @slttygeto @suget @sonarspace @marimogf @hannzai &lt;3 ok gn
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m0nsterqzzz · 6 months
Text
Something Stupid
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pairing: Wanda Maximoff x reader
summary: and then she goes and spoils it all by saying something stupid like...."I love you."
content: absolute teeth rotting fluff. pining for each other but wandas is much more intense? tiniest bit of blackhill if you squint.
a/n: had this idea for a while, and I actually kinda like it??? idk. first time for everything. reader is referred to as "sweets" like twice just because I love the nickname. it's what my boyfriend calls me. anyway. love yall!!
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Wanda Maximoff loves you.
She’s known that for years.
She’s known it since she first became an avenger and felt a strange urge to gain your forgiveness over everyone else's after what her and her late-brother Pietro did during the battle against Ultron.
She knew it when you became her best friend, teaching her how to control her magic and really just how to enjoy life.
She knew it when she had to watch as you got ready for dates with people that would never live up to your standards. Not she thought she would live up to your standards- no, she knew she couldn't- but she did know she treat you better then any of those no good pigs who are just looking for a fuck buddy ever good. The witch wouldn’t go up against your suitors though, just standing on the sidelines as her heart slowly breaks faster and faster the more you don’t see her in the same light you do them.
Little she did she know, she was the only one you truly wanted.
So finally, Wanda worked up the courage to ask you out so she no longer had to cry into her pillow while you were out sucking face with someone else.
Surprisingly, you agreed easily. The only thing you had to say was that she had to promise it wouldn’t change anything between you guys for the worse. If it didn’t work, you guys couldn’t become like Natasha and Maria. (those girls can’t be in the same room as each other for more than 2 seconds without making a backhanded comment about their four week long situationship)
The Maximoff girl agreed, eagerly setting up a dinner date.
It had quickly gone wrong.
The reservation was somehow not in the book despite the fact that Wanda called the fancy dinner place with insane prices about six times in the hour-long drive there. So you told her it was fine, that you’d be happy with some food from the delicious Thai place down the road as long as you were with her. But they were out of your favorite and Wanda ate so much that she felt ready to barf as you guys walked out of the restaurant- that was before she actually did barf in the parking lot. 
Finally, you guys headed to a bar near the Avengers tower for a quick nightcap, but that quickly turned into you both downing two drinks each before stumbling onto the dance floor.
A sweet looking old man who’s been reading a comic book in the corner sees you two and decides to put his own change in the jukebox and press play on a slow, but peaceful song. He sends you guys a smile, winking Wanda's way before he continues to read about some cool looking superheroes.
Wanda’s hands fall to your waist, gently gripping them as you both sway. Your head falls to lay on her shoulder, arms wrapped around the back of her neck as the music fills your ears. Her breath is on the back of your neck, warm, but it doesn’t even begin to compare to the feeling of her lips as she places a gentle kiss in that same spot. 
Then she goes and spoils it all by saying something stupid like, “I love you, sweets.”
You roll your eyes, thinking back to how many times people have told you that during first dates just to get in your pants. Though you will admit that when you hear Wanda say it, it brings a small, warm, fluttering feeling to your chest, and you manage to let out a small giggle before you say, “No you don't. You don’t love me Wanda. You like me. There’s a difference.”
She fights the urge to tell you that she knows there is a difference between love and like. She knows that because she’s felt both those ways towards you. Why can’t you just understand that so she doesn’t have to find a way to put it into words?
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After a few days of her saying the same thing and you never believing her, the witch realizes she has to put it in words. Nothing else is capable of explaining how she feels about you. How she’s felt for so long.
So she recruits Natasha and Clint for help, and they spend the day working on some speeches. By 2pm, she has this;
“Are you from Tennessee? Cuz you’re the only ten-I-see.” - A line from Natasha which she used on Maria who was passing by at that moment just to prove to Wanda it works. (Natasha left and was found leaving the agents room an hour later. Apparently that’s back on)
“I love you.” - Clint Barton, the stupidest man on earth. There is a reason people call him bird brain. They were there because the three words are not enough to describe what she feels towards you. Did he even read what was on the brunch invitation? It clearly stated; “fixing Wanda's love life; no I love you’s, no magic town in which she controls so she can make Sweets fall in love with her against their will.”
“Hey, do you have wifi? Cuz I’m really feeling a connection.” - Natasha. She once again used it on Maria and was gone for another two hours. Can someone please address this?
“Start listing facts about the baby turtles you saved. Always gets the ladies.” - from Tony, who was walking by the living room and decided now was the best time to interrupt. He has never once gotten close enough to endangered animals to be able to ‘save’ them, but we can pretend if he wants too.
“Are you a beaver? Cuz dam.” - Natasha. (someone needs to restrain Maria from jumping the redheads bones. She is literally needed at this meeting.)
So, as we can see, no one is any help. 
She decides after that to just go with her gut, and her gut is telling her that you’ll know when the time is right, and hopefully will send her a sign.
Maybe the sign is sooner rather than later.
The witch spends about an hour in her bedroom in front of her mirror, trying on every outfit from sweats and a t-shirt to the 10,000 dollar dress Tony bought her for her birthday. Which clothes would draw your attention to her? She thinks about that alot, which is why she wears different outfits everyday simply in hopes of you sending her a small compliment. She always spends countless amounts of time planning the perfect outfit just to hear you say, “You look pretty Wans.”
Why is this happening to her?
It’s when she sets up a cute little picnic under the stars with all your favorite foods and snacks and a makeshift tv screen with a projector to watch your favorite film do you realize that you are deeply and utterly in love with Wanda Maximoff.
She’s sweet, and pretty. She can always make you laugh when you truly think you no longer can.
And besides all that, she’s your best friend. The one that will stick with you through thick and thin simply because she wants to be beside you.
You can’t help but feel your cheeks beginning to heat up every single time she even glances in your direction, let alone actually speak to you. You can feel your stomach flutter with a mix of excitement and nerves as she just… exists.
You don’t tell her that though, afraid of getting your feelings hurt.
You just sit down on the nice thick blanket with her, grabbing some grapes to give a few to her and a few to herself as she presses play on the movie. It’s silent other than the sound of the movie, but she can hear your thoughts louder than any film. It’s not like she’s trying to read your mind. The witch vowed to herself to never use her magic on you unless it was necessary or life saving. That includes mind reading. Your thoughts are too loud though, and even with the amount of control she has over her powers, they still fill her head as she tries to focus on the movie.
“I love her.”
“She says she loves you.”
“She doesn’t mean it.”
“Yes she does.”
“No she doesn’t.”
“It doesn’t matter. I love her.”
Your internal battle on if she truly does love you or not breaks her heart into a million pieces, though she doesn’t want to call you out on it and make you feel uncomfortable. So you guys continue silently watching the movie. She doesn’t mention your loud thoughts, and you don’t mention that you can feel her eyes burning into the side of your face as she stares.
When the movie is over and the projector turns off, you guys sit in the darkness of the night. There are stars dressing the night sky, so you silently look at them as Wanda turns on her side so she can gently pull you closer to her. 
The moment is perfect; looking up at the stars in each other's warm embrace, your back pressed against her front and she moves around until she snuggles her head into the crook of your neck, so close to you that your perfume fills her senses and puts her into a peaceful bliss. Your truly happy as is she, and this time, as she says the tree words, you find yourself believing her;
“I love you.”
She doesn’t regret it or cringe out of embarrassment when she says it like she did last time. The witch just lets the words hang in the air. If you choose to say them back, you do. If not, at least you'll understand how much she truly means it.
“I love you.” You whisper back with new found confidence, and her chest fills with warmth and pure happiness. You finally believe her. Her words sounded so sincere and simple, not like the drunk words she said a few days ago. It’s the only reason you feel okay telling her the truth. You love Wanda Maximoff.
“I love you.” She mumbles, leaving a chaste kiss on your cheek.
“I love you.”
“I love you.”
“I love you.”
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owliellder · 1 year
Text
The Finer Details
Post DI! Leon Kennedy x Painter f! Reader
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MDNI 18+
(Session 1, Session 2, Session 3, Session 4, Session 5, The Reveal)
Description: Leon realizes that retirement is in his best interest now that he's getting older. All of his accomplishments as an agent mean he's truly earned a painting to commemorate..
Warnings: Not Proofread, Age gap! (reader is anywhere between mid-late 20's and Leon is 40), Porn w/ Plot, Use of she/her pronouns, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Alcoholism, mentions of trauma/PTSD/depression, P in V smut (wrap it NEOW), Leon cries during sex 💔
Tags: Older Leon Kennedy, Younger afab!Reader, Leon is SAD but he is your muse, Crying, mentions of Leon masturbating, starts off with Dom! Leon and Sub! Reader, falls into switch territory because that man needs some serious TLC, Praise kink, Hickeys, Handjob, Nipple play, Oral sex (m! and f! receiving), and a heavy dose of Aftercare
Author Note: You know how each president of the U.S. gets a painting at the end of their term? I'm thinking like that. Plus, my favorite hobby is recreating renaissance art, so I figured this was a good fit (hopefully).
Cross posted onto AO3
Session 1: The Sketches
It was late at night when Leon made his decision to retire fully.
He had gotten home over an hour ago from reviewing mountains of paperwork, most of which pertained to missions that other agents have gone on or will be going on.
Younger agents. More energized agents.
The fact that he hadn't gone on a full mission since San Francisco was driving him up the wall. But that's what he wanted. He requested to hang back the last two years.
Both Chris and Claire had fully retired themselves right after San Fran, Claire being the first to retire to focus on her growing family with Chris following suit only a few months later. Jill was still around, but she was doing similar work that Leon was, only she was in a completely different department which was states away.
Of course Leon still talked with them all as regularly as possible, he'd go insane if he didn't, especially with Claire having a couple kids now. He wasn't the greatest with children, but it was refreshing seeing his friends achieve such normalcy. He wanted them to have the best life they could away from everything.
Having turned 40 a few some months ago, Leon was having a bit of a mid-life crisis. The mission to San Francisco a couple years ago had made him realize just how much toll the job itself had taken on his body. After being assessed and allowed home a few nights after returning from the mission, his body ached; joints creaking, back nearly thrown, just... tired.
Don't get him wrong, he was always tired after missions, but this was different. This wasn't just the regular aches and pains he dealt with after being tossed around like a rag doll, this was age.
Deep in his mind, Leon was still that 21 year old boy in Raccoon City. He never got the chance to properly grieve and move on, his mind forever changed by that event. Mentally, he was stuck there and had been this entire time.
It had taken the man this long to truly recognize the fact that he's older now. He's not that boy from Raccoon City anymore. He hadn't been in a long time.
What was he do to now? Leon had wanted so badly to serve and protect the people, but not like this. Not like he has for the past 29 years.
He spent his most formative years fighting unimaginable horrors, watching people suffer, watching people die. You don't just come back from something like that.
And unlike the friends he's managed to keep close, Leon didn't have someone he trusted. Hell, he barely trusted himself most days.
So now here he was, sitting drunk in his shower with his legs pulled up to his chest, his arms resting atop his knees while the water pelted down on him, silently mulling over everything he's ever seen and done during his time as an agent.
The water had grown cold at this point, Leon having quickly lost track of how long he was sitting spaced out like that for. Thankfully, he'd already cleaned himself before he ended up sitting down, so the hardest part now was just standing back up to get himself back out.
It took him a couple more minutes before he finally hoisted himself up with a tired groan, both his knees popping from being stuck in position for such a lengthy amount of time.
Once out of the shower, towel loosely wrapped around his waist, Leon stared at himself in the mirror; busy studying the crow's feet on both outer corners of his eyes as well as the prominent bags sitting under them, the smile line around his mouth, his now brown hair, the stubble on his face and neck that's he's neglected to shave, and just how exhausted he looked.
How has he never noticed any of this before? Why's he look so different now?
Settling into bed after this brutal realization was a tough task. The man followed his nightly routine of taking four Tylenol and two of his prescription sleep meds before setting his a/c 65 degrees Fahrenheit. He learned quickly many years ago that tossing and turning at night would make him overheat and sweat.
But tonight, nothing Leon did could ease that sinking feeling in his chest, that feeling of unfulfillmemt and shame weighing on him more than ever before.
The poor man barely slept at all last night, hangover evident by the way he was still slightly uneven on his feet as he leaned over the center island in his kitchen, head between his forearms while his hands sat clasped together.
Leon knew what he had to do. He's been feeling it ever since Chris and Claire made their departure, but it was so easy to deny. How was he suppose to give up the one thing that made him important? Sure the stress of his work was heavily tasking on the mind and body, but it's what gave him purpose. He felt useful doing what he did.
The man showed up for work late that day, barely having managed to dress himself. He didn't know exactly who to go to in this scenario, but everyone seemed surprised that the Leon Kennedy would show up for work in some ratty t-shirt and grey sweatpants. The stares were making him incredibly uncomfortable and he was quickly regretting showing up at all.
After sitting in his own office for awhile to avoid the looks and whispers, Leon eventually sauntered over to his superior's office, an almost solemn look on his face as he let himself in after knocking.
Needless to say, Leon was relieved his superior knew this was coming. Slightly offended, but relieved nonetheless.
It had been a long time coming, and it was only a matter of time before Leon threw in the towel, especially since he was now just working behind the scenes instead of on the frontline.
He was allowed to return home for the rest of the day if he wanted to, which Leon quickly took. He really didn't want to be in that building for much longer.
As soon as he returned home he went right back to drinking. And as ashamed as he is to admit, he even cried a little, half empty whiskey bottle in one hand while the other was clenched tightly into a fist as he gripped the pant leg of his sweats.
There wasn't anyone Leon could talk to about this. Chris and Claire had their own respective partners to come home to after retirement, but Leon? Leon had nothing besides a dingy and cold two bedroom house with only the basics inside, including his alcohol cabinet.
The man didn't even give himself time to date, only the occasional one night stand with randoms from the bar. He was too afraid that he would endanger anyone he allowed into his life like that, not to mention he'd been betrayed one too many times to trust in someone that way again. It was his way of keeping himself and everyone else safe.
The therapists he was assigned throughout the years all had the same concern regarding his love life, and deep down Leon was just as concerned, but he rationalized it with that hero complex he developed.
But he just couldn't rationalize it anymore. Leon was alone. He was alone, sad, and afraid.
About a month after Leon's retirement was processed and announced, word spread quickly throughout numerous government branches. There was a celebration set up at the White House to honor his service as a field agent.
The President had separated him and Leon from the party to slowly walk through the many hallways in the building. The old man could tell just how bothered the now ex-agent was by his retirement, so he figured now would be the best time to talk to him about his final task.
"You know," The President spoke up after a couple minutes of the two walking in silence, prompting Leon to slowly turn his head to listen. "I'm sure you've heard it so many times tonight, but you truly were one of the best agents I've ever seen."
Leon chuckled quietly, shaking his head a bit at the compliment. He had heard it a lot tonight, but obviously it was different coming from him.
"I'm serious. This county, probably the entire world, would've been in shambles if not for your hours spent." The President continued, slowing his walking to a stop.
"It means more than you know." Leon responded simply, voice a bit gravelly from the few drinks he's had. He took a couple steps more before stopping as well, turning around to face the prominent old man.
The President sighed, giving him a sympathetic smile while nodding. They stood in silence for a brief moment before the old man spoke up again, pointing lazily down the hall. "Follow me, I've got something I want to show you."
From there, the two wandered further down the halls until eventually reaching one hall that had lights more centered towards the walls, highlighting the picture frames that sat evenly spaced out amongst them.
Leon seemed a tad confused until he was able to focus on the first painting they walked by. He knew each president got a portrait painted after their full term was served, but the man in this painting wasn't a past president.
He stopped walking to stand in front of the painting, admiring the details it had before glancing down at the bottom of the elegant frame, a placard reading a name he didn't recognize. What he did recognize, though, was the word Agent that sat in front of the man's name.
While zoned into the placard, Leon didn't register the gentle hand that had been clasped on his shoulder, the President's voice breaking through his trance. "For as long as there's been bioweapons, we've had agents fighting to stop them. But only a few agents have truly outdone themselves. Agents like you."
Leon blinked a couple times before turning his head to look at the hand on his shoulder, eyebrows furrowed. He wasn't quite understanding what he was saying.
The President took his silence as a cue to continue, his sympathetic smile turning into a happier one as he gently tugged Leon's shoulder to get him to start walking again. "The D.S.O. has produced some of the greatest agents since Benford created it back in 2011. You were amazing before, but you've outdone yourself time and time again."
Leon still wasn't quite understanding, really only half listening as he kept his eyes trained to the numerous portraits of agents as he slowly passed them.
The two stopped in front of the last painting in the hallway, only a few spots away from leading into another hallway. It was Chris and Claire in this painting. Chris was sitting down in a chair while Claire stood next to him, hand resting on back of it, both of them smiling.
He studied the painting for a minute longer before whipping his head around to face the President, who was still smiling, as the realization slowly settling in.
"I-" Leon struggling to speak, glancing back at the painting before quickly looking back at the old man standing next to him.
The President simply nodded his head, smile widening with a gentle laugh. "Right. The painting process takes a bit of time, but I think you've more than earned this."
The ex-agent had so many questions. Firstly, why hadn't Chris or Claire mentioned this? But more importantly, he gets to have his own portrait painted?
"The painter knows all about you. She's excited to meet you." The President started down the hall again, Leon not far behind, still stuttering out nonsense as he attempted to form even a sentence. "I'll give you the information you need to get started with her. I have it written down back in my office."
A painting?
A painting. A painting for him. A painting to honor him. What?
Leon was once again sat on his couch, blankly staring at the small business card with a date and time written on it in pen. He'd read the info on the card so many times already, wanting to make sure he got absolutely nothing wrong.
Apparently he didn't have to call and confirm, all he had to do was show up to this random address at a specific date and time, which was soon. In a couple days kind of soon. Also, he thought he was reading the time wrong, but no, it was four in the morning, not four in the afternoon. What an odd and rather inconvenient time.
Even after memorizing the business card front to back, Leon would be lying if he said he didn't forget about meeting up with this mystery painter. He'd been rather aloof the past couple months, it was hard to pull himself out of that funk. He'd been staying up late and sleeping in even later, so hitting snooze on his alarm a good few times was just muscle memory at this point.
It was almost 5am when he realized where he was suppose to be, eyes shooting open as he yanked himself out of bed, desperately trying to clean himself up enough to be at least presentable.
The man was mentally chastising himself the entire drive. It was a short drive, which he was surprised by, and the building seemed quaint; red brick with large windows that sat on what looked like either a second or third floor.
He parked his bike right near what he assumed was the main door, pulling off his motorcycle helmet before knocking and waiting.
The last thing Leon was expecting was you to unlock and open that door; young and pretty, so pretty...
"Mr. Kennedy?" You asked, eyebrows raised slightly with a small smile. He nodded, just barely noticeable, reaching a gloved hand up to wipe at his eyes as he caught himself staring.
Your smile only widened at his nod, stepping aside to allow him into walk in. It took him a minute to realize you were still talking, shaking his head out to refocus himself.
"-again, really, no need to worry about being late. I was trying to work with your schedule but I should've known it's changed up a bit by now, right?" You lead him up a set of narrow stairs, though he was mostly following the smell of your perfume. It was such a light smell but he definitely picked up on it.
You opened a door immediately to the left of the stairs, letting Leon follow you inside. The sun was just starting to rise, shining through the large windows in the open room.
The place was cluttered, yet organized. Crowded, but that just made it all the cozier to Leon. His house was bare and lacked any sort of personality, but this... this place was covered in you.
"I'm glad you like it in here." You said in a quiet voice, looking up at him as he took in your workspace. He was smiling ever so slightly, which you mimicked with a smile of your own. "I try to make it welcoming in here, my apartment is the same way.."
Your voice trailed off as you walked over to a mostly put together set up near the back of the room where the only wall without windows sat. There was a chair sitting close to the wall, the same chair Chris was sitting in for his portrait with Claire, along with your easel sitting empty a few feet away.
Leon stood frozen, only moving his head around as he took everything in. He followed you with his eyes as you fumbled around with something, eventually producing a blank 24" x 36" canvas that was still wrapped in thin plastic.
His mouth made an 'o' shape as he pulled himself from his small trance once again, beginning to slowly make his way over to the set up you've made. He placed his helmet down on the floor beside the chair.
After placing the canvas on the easel, you walked back over to where you'd gotten the canvas from before grabbing a heavily used sketchbook. It was a large one, the paper a light brown instead of white.
Leon had only just realized that there was a faint sound of some form of classical music playing from somewhere in the room, glancing around for speakers before looking back over at you.
"I'm not getting started today, we're a couple steps away from that, so don't worry about appearance just yet." You said softly with a breathy laugh, quickly making your way back over to where he stood next to the plush chair in your setup, his hand feeling over the worn maroon fabric.
Leon nodded silently, moving to sit down once you requested he did, furrowing his eyebrows as he watched you drag over a small table. You worked fast, that's for sure.
Eventually, you'd set up a little tabletop easel to sit on the table you'd dragged in front of him, grabbing your swivel chair to sit in as you placed your sketchbook on the easel, open to a blank page.
"I just need to get some basic ideas of your facial structure since that's most important when it comes to these kinds of paintings. You're gonna be wearing a nice tuxedo when I do the second- no, third sketch for the final painting, but this is just for me to get a feel for you and vise versa." You rambled quickly, pulling out a pencil from one of your pockets before fully sitting down on the chair, bringing your legs up to sit criss cross.
"Uh.. Alright..." Leon responded, clearing his throat a bit. He didn't really understand what you'd said, you spoke a little too fast for his tired brain to keep up, but it seemed like whatever you were doing was necessary so he just rolled with it.
He was left a little speechless again at how you just began sketching, glancing up to his face and down to the page you were working on over and over. "...do you need me to, I don't know, pose or something?"
The way you kept looking at him was making feel a little uneasy. Granted he's never been in this sort of situation before, this whole process was very unfamiliar to him.
"No, no. You can move your head around and stuff. Get comfortable." You waved off, eyes wrinkling as you smiled at him. Leon nodded again, deciding to take the opportunity to look around your workspace again.
It really was a cozy space. Full of color and life, even the curtains you had lining the windows offered so much pattern and detail to the room. The back of the room where the two of you sat was more cluttered with less decor, but the front of the room was a whole different story with those massive floor pillows, blankets of all sorts strewn about, that big fluffy looking area rug, it was all so... homey. It was even inspiring him to decorate his own house a bit.
The sound of your pencil scribbling on paper and the faint sound of the classical music playing was all Leon could hear for awhile, eventually letting out an anxious sigh before beginning to talk. "So... a painter, huh..?"
"Oh yeah, I've been doing this since I was little. Obviously I wasn't that good back then, but I really improved after high school." You immediately responded, voice a little louder than his. Clearly the topic excites you. "If you want, I can hand you one of my other sketchbooks to look at while I do my thing over here?"
Leon patted his hands against the arms of the chair before nodding to the side, pursing his lips slightly. "Mm, sure. Let's see what ya got.."
As soon as he agreed, you stood up and shuffled over to the corner of the room where some desks sat arranged in a makeshift cubicle. You opened a drawer and pulled out a couple sketchbooks, still as raggedy as the one you were using now.
Walking back over, you carefully handed them to him, which he slowly took after meeting your eyes for a brief moment.
Once you made your way back to your chair, he placed both sketchbooks into his lap, opening up the one on top first. The man flipped through them silently as you began to sketch him out again.
You'd zoned into your work, adding just a bit of shading to your sketches to help emphasis some features when Leon cleared his throat again. You leaned to the side to look at him, your smile quickly returning when you saw his baffled expression.
"These are... wow, okay, how old are you?" Leon asked, head jerking upwards to meet your gaze once more. You just giggled in response, using the pencil as a fidget before returning to sketching.
"Sorry-uh, I don't mean to come off as rude or anything, but to be honest, I was expecting you to be some old lady when I saw the portraits you've done." Leon was quick to try and explain, probably misinterpreting your lack of response for unease.
Your giggle turned to a small laugh, leaning to the side once more to look at the man. "Well, I'm glad I could surprise you a bit. Hopefully I don't look old."
Leon groaned and wiped his hand down his face. "Again, sorry. Didn't mean to imply." He shook his head and looked back down at the two sketchbooks sitting in his lap, continuing to flip through them.
It was only a couple hours until you decided you got a good enough feel for drawing his face. Grabbing the sketchbook, you stood up, pencil still in hand, looking down at the sketches you made as you slowly walked over to him.
The man noticed you standing up, quickly moving to close the sketchbooks you'd given him in favor of seeing your new sketches.
"I... I think this'll be enough today. I don't want to keep you too long." You said, handing him the sketchbook. Leon took it from you, careful not to smudge anything as he finally got to see what you've been doing for the past two hours.
He furrowed his eyebrows as he studied the sketches you'd made of his face, seeing all the different angles, even the smile, how'd you get his smile?
You seemed to grow nervous the longer he stared at your sketchbook in silence, his intense look making it seem as if he didn't really like them. "Are they... Are they okay?"
Leon jostled the sketchbook a bit in his hands before standing up, now towering over you as he kept his eyes on the paper. "Just okay? These are beyond amazing."
You let out a small breath you didn't notice you were holding, heat rushing to your cheeks as you smiled at his compliment. "Oh, thank you.. I'm sorry, normally sketches don't take this long but it was stressed to me that your portrait was very important so I wanted to get everything as perfect as I could.."
"Seriously, you're a mad woman if you think these wouldn't be good." Leon chuckled, handing the sketchbook back to you. He kept his eyes trained on you, even after you turned to look down and close the sketchbook. Only a fool would miss that blush on your cheeks, it looked good on you.
"Anyways, when should I come back for the next.. uh..." Leon paused, crossing his arms loosely as he struggled to think of the word.
Luckily, you finished the sentence for him. "Session. Again, this painting's importance was stressed to me a lot, so probably the next time you're available?" You talked while you shifted the small table back to where it had originally sat under one of the numerous windows, tossing the sketchbook down on the chair cushion.
"Alright, since it's importance has now been stressed to me as well, I can probably clear up some stuff in my schedule. How's tomorrow sound?" Obviously, Leon had a completely free schedule, but you didn't need to know that.
"Tomorrow works great! The sooner the better!" You laughed, placing a gentle hand on his bicep as you walked past him to grab a sticky note. "I'll give you my personal number, just let me know when you're thinking of coming over and I'll meet you here, okay?"
Leon looked at your number before pocketing the note, nodding his head with a smile of his own. "Sounds good. Same way out?" He pointed to the door that you brought him in through, bending down to pick up his motorcycle helmet right after.
You confirmed with a thumbs up, now drinking water from your water bottle as you'd forgotten too while focused on drawing. You felt bad for not offering him any water while he was here, but you won't forget next time.
The man gave you a curt wave before leaving the room, quietly shutting the door behind himself.
You had to admit, you've worked with a very small handful of agents since it takes a lot for them to earn their own portrait, but Leon Kennedy had to be the one of the most handsome men you've ever worked with. Maybe even one of the most handsome men you've ever seen.
Lucky you pay attention to detail, cause you definitely didn't see a ring on his finger.
1K notes · View notes
lovingyoulovinme · 1 year
Text
✶ charles leclerc x reader ✶
2019
renaultf1team
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Liked by danielricciardo and 96,486 others
renaultf1team It’s the super nice and ultra cool @yourinstagram! We 💛 her!
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yourinstagram thank you for having me! 🐥💖
username who even is this?
⤥ username y/n y/l/n she's a model but she's been into f1 for awhile
danielricciardo Sorry for not winning for you like i promised @yourinstagram
⤥ yourinstagram 🤣🤣
username they finally invited a celebrity that knows about the sport
username manifesting she comes to more races her interview talking about how much fun she had was really cute
scuderiaferrari How can we get her in our garage?
⤥ renaultf1team She's ours sorry!
yourinstagram 🤭
username ferrari begging her to come to their garage 😭 need her and charles to meet tho
July 14, 2019
charles_leclerc
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Liked by yourinstagram and 463,746 others
charles_leclerc P1 babyyyyyy ! Thank you to the team and to everyone that showed support this weekend.
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scuderiaferrari 🥇❤️
username congrats charles ! !
username he will be wdc one day mark my words
yourinstagram proud!!!! 🐰🤍
⤥ charles_leclerc 😘
username they know each other????
username y/n has always said charles is one of her favorite drivers it wouldn't be surprising if they met when she came to silverstone
username YOU DESERVE IT
pierregasly 😮‍💨
username first season with ferrari and he's been killing it what a legend
username 🔥🔥🔥
September 28, 2019
2020
yourinstagram
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Liked by charles_leclerc and 176,836 others
yourinstagram new years party with all my favorite people 🥵🥂❤️
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username happy new years!!!
username the drink on her head 😭 shes so crazy i love her 🤪
username LECLERC?????
⤥ username one of her favorite people....
danielricciardo Thanks for the invite!
⤥ yourinstagram stfu u literally told me you couldn't come
danielricciardo 😣
username i would do insane things to get invite to a party thrown by y/n
username streets (mutual of mine whose friend went to the party) saying y/n and charles kissed at midnight
⤥ username anybody can lie and say they were there 😭 hell i could go on twitter and start a full thread abt it doesn't mean it would be true
charles_leclerc 💃🕺
⤥ yourinstagram moves so good they swept me off my feet
username 👀👀👀
January 2, 2020
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leclercupdates
7,963 likes
leclercupdates clip of charles' from his twitch stream today 🫣
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username i cant believe this is how we get confirmation they're dating 😭
username hes so dumb i love him
username he def didnt mean to say it bc the way his face turned into pure horror when he realized 😭
yourinstagram idiot
⤥ username Y/N HI
username his lil giggles i am so happy for them
April 6, 2020
yourinstagram
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Liked by landonorris and 397,892 others
yourinstagram note to self: stop forgetting your keys (and tape your boyfriend's mouth shut)
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username instagram and twitch official 🤭
username THE SECOND PIC AHHHHH
username not the shade
landonorris 😂
⤥ yourinstagram you think this is funny?
landonorris 🤐
username parents 🫶
charles_leclerc S'il te plaît, pardonne-moi, je ne voulais pas 🥺 (Please, forgive me, I didn't mean to.)
⤥ yourinstagram the french nor the emoji will work this time bye
username their doggies 🥹
scuderiaferrari Does this mean you'll be in our garage when the time is right?
⤥ username they are never giving up
username this is such pr
username her being friends with danny lando and pierre is my favorite thing ever
April 8, 2020
2021
charles_leclerc
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Liked by pierregasly and 784,478 others
charles_leclerc Happy days before the start of the season
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yourinstagram put a shirt on
username best couple in the world
lilymhe Who is the beautiful girl in the third slide?
⤥ charles_leclerc she's taken
yourinstagram that could change
username everyone being in love with y/n is so cute
username please never break up
pierregasly No photo of me?
⤥ username pierre third-wheeling them 24/7 😭
username her smile!!! 👼👼👼
February 6, 2021
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deuxmoi via instagram
September 20, 2021
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2022
yourinstagram
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Liked by danielricciardo and 248,736 others
yourinstagram this must be the place 💒
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username THE ENGAGEMENT RUMORS LOOKING REAL TRUE RN
danielricciardo 🤭
username wedding venue???? 🥹
charles_leclerc Je veux passer ma vie avec toi ❤️ (I want to spend my life with you)
⤥ yourinstagram lucky for you you're stuck with me
username THEY ARE SOOOOOOO
username third slide is so precious :(
pierregasly Can i be the **** ***
⤥ username BEST MAN???
arthur_leclerc No
lorenzotl No
username obsessed with the way they never confirmed the engagement rumors but are doing nothing to stop them
username i love them so much im sobbing
username it feels like just yesterday charles was accidentally confirming their relationship on twitch and now they're getting MARRIED
January 18, 2022
charles_leclerc
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charles_leclerc Best day of my life forever. 👰‍♀️🤵🖤
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username CRYING SO BADDDDDD
yourinstagram 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I LOVE U
⤥ charles_leclerc Love you more Mrs. Leclerc 🥰
username both of her dresses were so gorgeous oh my god
danielricciardo Party of the year
scuderiaferrari Congratulations to our two favorite people ❤️
username they look so unbelievable happy :( they deserve the world
lilymhe most beautiful bride!!!!!! and charles
⤥ yourinstagram sad you didn't stand up to object...
username this all happened because of alpine let's be honest
⤥ alpinef1team We got a thank you card in the mail 😊
username 🥹🥹🥹🥹
username they are soulmates im sure of it
pierregasly 🥂😛❤️‍🔥
username they got married on the 17th...exactly 3 years after they met 🥺
arthur_leclerc So happy ❤️
July 20, 2022
2K notes · View notes
Text
Just wanna say, to all those disappointed or upset by the finale:
1. We probably built it up a lil too much. It was never gonna be THAT angsty, not every show is Infinity Train (even one by Infinity Train writers)
2. Pitch bible concepts don't always make it to the final product. Read the MML one abd be shocked at how much changed. Doesn't mean they didn't potentially keep Project H and the Pixies for s2 tho!
3. Cosmo said he might still remember Hazle or Peri or something. Putting aside he surely remembers their friendship up to Peri, why keep that line? Why do any of this? These people know how much we love characters like this. Trust me, he'll remember again, and he'll probably get Peri again. This is just the consequence he needs right now.
4. I do think people are bring harsh on known black and white thinking 10 year old Hazle making the insanely understandable wish of "Hey I'm really fucking lonely can my two families be one family". I get it, why not wish for Dev. Because she's 10. And she thinks he needs a punishment. And she didn't think it through. You watch, the first Dev focused s2 ep will have Hazle slowly guilting over his memory loss.
5. Dear God please give us s2
6. Oh and thanks for all the notes on my sister's art!! I follow back everyone who likes anything I post XD so hello 140 something new friends!
306 notes · View notes
hannie-dul-set · 2 months
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나비 / NABI — TWO.
SYNOPSIS. in which you’re trying your damned best to willfully ignore your feelings for your friend of over twenty years, but— as always— life seems to have a different plan paved out for you.
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PAIRING. choi beomgyu x female! reader. GENRE. childhood friends to not quite friends (derogatory) to not quite friends (endearment) to lovers, romance, humor, hurt/comfort but more on comfort, coming of age, slowburn, college! au, “it’s always been you” trope, pining, tons of denial, beomgyu is the only man ever, featuring a large ensemble of idols from various groups. WARNINGS. swearing, explicit language, rumors as a plot device, mentions of sex, a few minor injuries, hospital scare, bullying. WORD COUNT. 12k (out of 40k).
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NOTE. kachow, it’s out. i’ll cut the yapping short this time HAHAHAH but please please please let me know your thoughts on this work especially if you enjoyed it!!! thank you!!!
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모기 / MOGI — ONE — TWO — THREE
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#2: YOU STILL DON’T LIKE HIM FOR FORCING YOU TO SWALLOW SO MUCH OF YOUR PRIDE. Upon returning to campus for the second semester, you’re smacked square in the face with a second wave of rumors. As if the ones that plagued you at the latter part of last semester weren’t enough to drive you insane.
The bigger problem with second waves is that the onslaught just becomes marginally worse. Apparently Choi Beomgyu was caught in the act hooking up with a girl at Jung Sungchan’s party. Apparently it was the same girl he was seen coming home with the previous semester. And apparently he got a black eye after hearing someone talk shit about said girl.
You’re speechless. It’s seriously beyond you how gossip snowballs into high hell like this. If the entire sphere of humanity directs their imaginations to more productive things, climate change might not be a problem anymore. Still, humanity is bound to be stupid, and expecting people to be reasonable will only lead to disappointment. You had to assure Sungchan three times that no— you did not fuck on his parents’ bed. What the hell does he think of you?
“I keep telling everyone you two weren’t having sex!” screams Minjeong in the middle of the hallway on the way to class. “I was literally right there!”
You catch some eyes pointed at your direction as you two pass through. “Yeah, maybe you should stop before people start construing it as a threesome.”
Usually, this would bother you. But after living your entire life being concerned about what other people think of you, it starts to get dull and tiresome. You’re pretty shocked to find yourself so unbothered, and you’re not getting a lot of attention anyway the moment you and Minjeong enter the lecture hall and find yourselves some seats.
That is, until Choi Beomgyu also walks into the hall, sees you, and immediately darts over.
You can literally feel the ten million eyes swooping back and forth between him and you. He stops right in front of your table, arms crossed, frowning. You look up and wish he gets on with it already. 
“You didn’t tell me you’re taking this class.”
“You didn’t either,” you snark back.
He huffs. “Touche.”
You sneer. “Get away from my view.”
“Hey, dude, wait up!”
Your attention gets ripped away from each other by the voice of Heeseung. He’s panting and jogging up to your area, Jeongin trailing behind him, then lands a hand on Beomgyu’s shoulder before he looks down and notices you.
“Oh, hey,” he greets. “No wonder he was in such a hurry.”
“Hi, Jeongin,” you greet Jeongin who still flinches whenever you look at him for a little too long. “Hello, bane of my existence.”
Heeseung lets your insult fly above his head. “Hey, friend. Heard you had fun at Sungchan’s party the other week.” Emphasis on the fun. With a wiggle of his brows. You want to bonk him with your water bottle, but your attempt at an assault gets refrained by a boisterous voice.
“Obviously, everyone had fun! It was a sick fucking party!”
You’re physically wobbled by Sungchan suddenly sliding into the seat next to yours. “It wasn’t fun when we had to help you clean up,” snides Minjeong. You notice Beomgyu eyeing your friend to your left as he reaches out an arm behind you, resting on the top of your chair.
“That’s what friends are for, right?” Sungchan pesters, then looks up, noticing the three other boys loitering in front of you. “Oh, hey, dudes,” he says. There’s a pause. Sungchan looks at Beomgyu, then you, then abruptly jerks his arm off the backrest of your seat. “Oh. Oh, shit! Sorry you can sit here—”
Sungchan flinches out of the chair next to you until Beomgyu stops him with a smile. “Why would you give me your seat?” Sungchan freezes. Then Beomgyu slides out the chair right in front of your table, a scratching noise on the tiles, and sets himself down. You hear Heeseung go ‘ooooh, drama,” before sitting next to Beomgyu, followed by Jeongin. Beomgyu tips his chair back, turns around, and then taps on the pencil case you’ve set out on your table. He bats his eyes. He gives you a cute (blegh) smile.
“Ugh.” You dig into the case and hand him an extra pen.
“Thank you,” he happily hums and turns back around.
“Whoa, did I just witness telepathy?” says Sungchan, mouth open.
“I guess when you’re in love you can just read each other’s mind—ack!” You hear a rattle. Beomgyu kicks the leg of Heeseung’s seat and the former falls dramatically to the ground. You snort. Heeseung attempts to retaliate but the arrival of your professor, Prof Ma, forces him to behave.
“Good morning, everyone.”
The minutes go by slowly. It’s syllabus week, so most of the period is spent by Professor Ma giving you an introduction to the course outline, grading system, requirements and projects, the works— of which includes two group assignments for both the mid and final term, eliciting a chorus of groans from the class. He decides to give the first project in advance for early preparation. At least he’s letting you pick your own members. Sort of. 
“Work with the people around you. No need to get up to form your groups.”
You look at Minjeong and Sungchan. Beomgyu, Heeseung, and Jeongin turn around, facing you three. You stifle a sigh. Choi Beomgyu plagues you wherever you go.
“I guess the six of us are working together!”
Sungchan’s way too enthusiastic about this. Heesung takes the project sheet from Prof Ma and returns to your circle, containing the instructions, guidelines, and topics for the project. It’s due two weeks before midterms and there will be a presentation the week after. Minjeong speaks up. “There’s three parts, so I guess we’ll work on each in pairs.”
“We’ll take the first part,” you say, almost automatically. Five pairs of eyes land on your. Four, actually, because Beomgyu is already scribbling your names next to each other on the guide sheet under the first roman numeral. 
Heeseung chortles out a giggle. “Jeongin, do you wanna work with me?”
“Wait, I—”
“You don’t have to say anything,” Minjeong laments, shaking her head with a hand on your back. You want to eat your words. It just came out naturally since for every group or paired project throughout highschool, you and Beomgyu have always worked together since it’s convenient. Your schedules are nearly identical, your houses are next to each other— it’s just logical. You’ve never thought about it at all until Lee Heeseung’s stupid, insinuating reaction. 
Class is dismissed. A few people approach Beomgyu, asking if he has a group, and he apologizes saying that he does.
You schedule a meeting sometime next week to plan the assignment before parting ways to your respective classes, schedules, and appointments. It’s the same routine for a while— save for some instances where you catch people you don’t even know looking at you for a little too long, glancing at you from afar in between inaudible conversations, and of course, the handful of moments where they’d come up to you just to ask if you’re dating Choi Beomgyu.
Surprisingly, you haven’t blown up. Beomgyu himself has started to eye you suspiciously due to your lack of reaction, save for the polite smile and ‘no, I’m not,’ combo you’d always give as a response. Maybe you’d just stopped caring. Beomgyu says he can’t wait until you inevitably explode. Heeseung hasn’t stopped finding enjoyment in teasing the living hell out of you though.
“Your boyfriend isn’t driving you home today?” asks Heeseung with a grin that you’re starting to get sick of seeing upon leaving your last class for the day, three weeks after the start of the semester. 
Usually, Beomgyu would be found outside your classroom around this time, lugging you off to his car for another free ride home whenever it works for him. Doesn’t help the rumors at all, you know. Heeseung making comments about it each time without fail is also greatly unhelpful.
“He’s having dinner with his seniors,” you tell him, already having given up.
“Poor you.”
“I can get home by myself,” you spit, using the notebook and stack of printouts you’re carrying to smack him on the ass. He runs off to the coding club after very politely messing up your hair. “Go to hell!”
“See you tomorrow!”
He’s gone, finally. You release a sigh and realign the stack of notes in your hands, about to bring it up to your chest until someone darts by— passing beside you with a bump on your shoulder, and the papers, notebook, and copies stumble out of your arms and onto the floor. “Hey!” you snap your head back, catching only the silhouette of the individual from behind and as you kneel down to pat around for your things. It’s annoying, but you let it go. You let it go with a fruitful amount of profanities sputtering from your mouth while you restack the papers.
One piece of paper managed to fly away a bit farther away. You grunt and pull yourself off the floor. Your eyes don’t leave the sheet. You watch as it gets picked up from the ground and gets handed over to you, eyes trailing further up to meet the face of a guy you don’t really recognize.
“Oh,” you release. “Thanks a lot.”
“No problem. Some people really need to watch where they’re going.” He smiles. You nod and ready to walk past, but much to your surprise, you hear him utter your name. “That’s you, right?”
Huh. You try to get a better look of the guy’s face, trying to grasp a hint of recollection of who he could be, and if you actually know him, but nothing rings a bell. Zilch. “Yeah? How’d you know me?”
“I, uh—” The hand he once used to pick up your things disappears to the back of his neck in a sheepish manner. “I saw you at Sungchan’s party the other week. For, like, five seconds because I never got to see you again, so I asked around about you.”
You’re taken aback. Whoa. This is new. This is very new. When was the last time a guy has shown interest in you? You can’t fucking recall because that’s never ever happened before— not when there’s the false fact that you’re dating Choi Beomgyu perpetually fluttering around you despite your countless attempts to swat it away. You feel your heart jog a little quicker, the buzzing on your fingertips making your senses feel a lot duller. It’s either he doesn’t believe in the rumors, or he just doesn’t give a fuck about them.
Well. It doesn’t even matter because those rumors aren’t true.
“Ah, well I’m not really surprised. I was holed up in a room the entire time. Parties aren’t my thing,” you hum. “What’s your name again?”
“I thought you’d never ask,” he laughed. “Jang Seung. First name Seung, last name Jang.”
“Oh! I don’t think I’ve met someone with a one-syllable name before.”
He smiles. “Well, I’m honored to be the first.”
It doesn’t ring a bell, really. That means Jang Seung’s name hasn’t fallen out of Choi Beomgyu’s big mouth before whenever he endlessly yaps about people you barely even know. You thank Seung one more time before heading off to class. It’s not the last time you meet him. You bump into him at the cafeteria a few days later, then the library the week after that. Somehow, you ended up exchanging numbers along the way. He’s an economics major, second-year, but you’re the same age so honorifics were dropped pretty quickly. And before you knew it— you and Seung have started texting casually on the daily.
“Hey!”
Your eyes snap up from your phone. You see Beomgyu snapping his fingers right in front of your face.
“Focus,” he glares, an impatient tap on the pile of textbooks you borrowed from the reference section for your group project. It’s been three weeks since the assignment was given out. You and Beomgyu have decided to do your initial research at Horangnabi today. “If you get distracted again, I’m confiscating your phone.”
“Sorry.” You tamp your phone face-down onto the table.
There’s a sneer on Beomgyu’s face. You raise a brow, pulling your laptop closer to you. He scoffs and starts flipping through the pages of one of the books, and at that moment Julie walks up to your table with a tray in her hands. “A treat for two hard working kids,” she hums, setting two drinks down onto the table— a matcha latte for you and an iced americano for him.
You smile at her. “Thanks, seon—”
“Hard working my ass.” Beomgyu snatches your drink before you can even lift it up, sliding it down to his side of the table with a very disappointed look on his face. “Noona, she’s been glued to her phone the entire time instead of working. I don’t think she deserves a free drink.”
“Leave me alone,” you simmer back. “This is my first shot at romance ever since you’ve started unintentionally sabotaging my love life for the past twenty years.”
“Twenty years? Are you saying you’ve been boy crazy since we were toddlers?”
“Don’t twist my words, fuckface.”
“Nyenye, don’t twist my word—”
Clap!
“Okay,” Julie interrupts, a resounding sound coming from her colliding palms. You and Beomgyu shut your mouths and cock your heads at her. “Settle that problem between yourselves, alrighty? Beomgyu, give her her drink back. Ring me up if you want any snacks.”
“Tch,” he clicks his tongue, sliding your latte back to you. “What was that guy’s name again?”
You catch the plastic cup with your hands and bring the straw to your lips. “Jang Seung.”
A sound scratches out of his throat. Beomgyu takes a sip from his coffee while looking to the side. “I don’t know him.”
“I thought so,” you hum in response. “Pretty surprising considering your web of connections. He doesn’t seem to believe in all the gossip surrounding us, either.”
He shakes the drink in his hand, ice clicking against themselves with a sour look on his face. Is he actually drinking lemonade or some shit? you stifle a light laugh. “Either he doesn’t believe it, or he just doesn’t mind fucking around with a girl who’s in a relationship.”
“But we’re not,” you say.
“Yeah. Duh. But everyone else thinks we are,” he answers. “You don’t even know him that well. Who’s to say he doesn’t believe them just because he’s trying to get close to you.”
Julie comes by again with a plate of salted fries. You two thank her. The perks of being friends with the staff here. “Stop overreacting,” you tell him, helping yourself to a few bites. “I haven’t completely gotten over my trauma with Lim Jimin yet so I’m not raising my hopes too high up. Watch Seung ask me for tips on how to become friends with you in three days time.”
“Just shut up and start working,” he grunts, shoving even more fries into your mouth to stop you from talking any further. You muffle out a swear. Seriously, why can’t this guy be normal?
Anyhow, you finish your session at the cafe, still pretty confident about your conjecture on Jang Seung’s real intentions with you.
But after three weeks instead of three days, you’re delightfully proven wrong.
“Holy shit.”
You, Beomgyu, Heeseung, and Minjeong are in the living room of your apartment. The four of you had been working on your project until thirty minutes ago. You’ve been working since one in the afternoon. It’s almost eight in the evening right now and Jeongin and Sungchan had already left early. Now you’re all just withering on the floor. Minjeong’s laying down on your lap, phone hovering above her face. Heeseung and Beomgyu had picked up a guitar from his apartment to fill the tired silence.
That is until they heard your very eloquent remark. Beomgyu stops strumming. “What?” he asks.
“Holy shit,” you repeat, gaping at your phone. “Seung just asked me out on a date.”
Minjeong jerks off of your lap with a shriek. “What?!”
“Look!”
You shove your phone into her face. The bluelight blinds her eyes but they remain wide and frantically open. Heeseung’s eyes flit over from you, to Beomgyu, then back to you. “Wow, I’d never ask someone out over the phone. Right, Beom?” He gets ignored because Minjeong lets out another squeal and tosses your phone aside.
“Tomorrow! You’re going on a date tomorrow!” she jumps at you. “Do you need help getting ready?”
“Hey,” Beomgyu sets his guitar down on the floor, looking at you. “Did you two forget? We still have to finalize our presentation tomorrow.”
“Yeah, I know,” you say, retrieving your phone from the ground. “I’m gonna schedule the date after that.” 
Minjeong tells him to unknot his undies and let you live a little, messing with the documents scattered all around you, and you join her after shooting Seung a reply, [sounds good. see you tomorrow 🙂]. Heeseung has taken ownership of the guitar and is now strumming some melodies. Beomgyu is still grumpy. His grumpiness culminates into the question— “How much do you actually like the guy?”
This catches Heeseung and Minjeong’s attention. Their ears perk up, waiting for your response. “Well.” You take your nose out of a reference sheet. “He’s fun to talk to. And he doesn’t look half bad. Other than that, I don’t think I have any strong feelings for him, you know. But that could change. I don’t know.”
Minjeong hums in response. “Yeah, don’t overthink it. Just go have fun, girl. It’s not a big deal,” she says, the last part particularly directed to Beomgyu, who just sticks his tongue out at her.
“That’s the plan,” you say, leaning back against the couch seat. “I’ve never gone on a date before because everyone thinks I’m already dating you.” That was also directed to Beomgyu. He makes a complaint that he’s being ganged up on. A few more back and forths go down with Heeseung plucking arpeggios as background music. It’s a mess.
“Turn on your location, alright?”
“Yes.”
“And don’t go with him if he wants to take you to his place or anywhere that isn’t public.”
“Yes, I know.”
“And make sure to call whenever—”
“Dude, you’re not her mom,” Minjeong cuts him off. You snort. “She can take care of herself.”
“She’s never been on a date before! Can’t I be worried?!” Beomgyu interjects, offended. “What if she dies? What if she trips on the stairs on the way and dies before she can even experience her first date?”
“Fuck you, as if you’ve been on a date before,” you retort.
Beomgyu lets out a huff, mouth twitching from incredulity. “For your information, I have,” he says proudly. “Keep up, dipshit."
“You? As if.”
“I can attest to that,” Heeseung jumps in. “But it was way before I found out you two were friends though. We went on a double date with some girls from tourism. The girl swore he was her soulmate after a cup of coffee and Beomgyu ghosted her.”
This is the first time you’re hearing about this. You’re feeling betrayed and Beomgyu’s arrogance suddenly shifts to guilt. “Don’t give me that look. We weren’t on speaking terms then. Don’t you dare get upset over this.”
“Soulmate, huh?” Minjeong muses. “Do you guys believe in soulmates?”
There’s a pause. “That came from fucking nowhere,” Beomgyu says. 
“If they exist, then I hope mine hurries the hell up,” says Heeseung. Right. He got dumped by the girl from computer science a while ago. He says he’s already healed but just yesterday he borrowed your phone just to see her Instagram stories that are now hidden from him. You pity him. “Fuck, I need to start dating again.”
“No, you don’t. You need to fucking get over her,” you tell him before shifting your attention to Minjeong. “I’ve never really thought about the idea of soulmates. I don’t know, it just seems like a far-fetched idea to me.”
“Boring,” provokes Beomgyu from across the coffee table. “You really don’t think there’s someone out there destined for you? Someone who understands you without even trying, someone who connects with you so deeply and in one click, you just know it’s going to be them for eternity?”
There’s a palpable silence. Beomgyu notices this. He clears his throat and picks up the printout in front of him, fumbling through the pages with a click of his tongue.
“No wonder you’re still single. There’s not one romance bone in your body.”
Minjeong stares at him. “That was...out of character.”
“This guy’s actually a hopeless romantic,” Heeseung slides in. “You should hear all the songs he plays and sings in the clubroom. Dude thinks he’s in a coming of age—”
“Hey, why don’t you shut the fuck up?”
A fight(?) on the couch ensues. It’s Beomgyu and Heeseung wrestling like toddlers while you and Minjeong start working on your project again. Waiting for your laptop to start up, your eyes catch a buzzing phone on the table, sitting right next to a coffee mug. It’s not your phone. The caller ID says Ugly Oaf. “Beomgyu,” you call out. “Your brother is calling.”
You hear a yelp from a couch. “Can you answer?” Beomgyu says, grunting. “I’m kind of— ow! I’m kind of busy here.”
Children. They’re both children. You tap on the phone and put the device to your ears. “Hyung,” you greet. Yes, you call his brother hyung. You’ve known their family since you were a child and since you kept hearing Choi Beomgyu call his brother hyung as a toddler, you thought that was the appropriate term to call him too. He doesn’t mind. Anything else sounds awkward too so you’ve just kept calling him that until now. “Oh, yes he’s here. Give me a sec. Choi Beomgyu!”
Your eyes flit up to the couch. Your friend is being suffocated by Heeseung while he yells out surrenders.
“Beomgyu, he wants you on the phone.”
“Ugh. Hey, get the fuck off me.”
“Another win for the Heemeister!”
Beomgyu rolls his eyes at him as he trudges off the couch, walking over to you with an outstretched hand, and you pass the phone to him. “Hyung,” he starts, his free hand on his hip. You stifle a snort and busy yourself with a word document, half-listening to their conversation. “What do you want? Why couldn’t you just text—”
He cuts himself off and you stop typing. You look up to see Beomgyu standing near you, eyes wide and staring into space. 
His other hand falls to his side. 
“What?”
There’s a crack and a strain in his voice.
“H—hyung, what are you saying?”
You shut your laptop and race to your feet. “Beomgyu” you say, marching up to him. “Beomgyu, what did your brother tell you?” You notice his hands are shaking— trembling fingers drop his phone face-up on the ground and you see that the call has ended. Your gaze travels back to Beomgyu. His eyes are damp. You pull him closer by the arm and fix your hands on the sides of his shoulders. “Beomgyu, what’s wrong?”
“M—my mom,” he stammers out. “He—he says she’s in the hospital, why would she be in the hospital, why—”
From the corner of your eyes, you can see Heeseung jolting straight up and Minjeong looking up at the both of you. You bite down your lip. You can hear your heart inside your ears. “Beomgyu,” you say, trying to quell the tremor in your voice. His breathing is already short, his eyes are blinking down rapidly to chase away the stinging tears. You can’t start panicking too. “Did hyung say anything else? What happened? Can you tell me?”
“I—I don’t know, I’m not— I’m not sure, I—”
Oh no. Oh no, this isn’t good. You leave for a moment, rushing to your room to grab two jackets— one you drape over Beomgyu, the other you wear for yourself to stuff your wallet and  keys into. “Hey, guys,” you say, securing the coat around his neck. “Sorry, I think we need to cut this session short. Do you mind cleaning up here?”
“Yeah, don’t worry. We’ll take care of it,” answers Heeseung.
“Give us an update, okay?” adds Minjeong. You give them a nod and a smile.
You grab onto Beomgyu’s sleeve and start dragging him out of your building, the cold, late evening air hitting your cheeks as you rush out into the sidewalk, just in time for a taxi to show up from the far end of the road, and you hold your arm out to hail it. You knock on the window and the driver rolls it down. “Sir, do you think you can take us to Daegu?”
“Daegu? This late?” he says. You press your lips together. You turn your head and see Beomgyu’s expression. You let go of your drip from his sleeve, dropping it down to give his hand a squeeze.
“It’s an emergency.”
“All right. It’s not gonna be cheap, though.”
“That’s alright. Thank you!”
The entire ride to Daegu, Beomgyu is squeezing your hand. He hasn’t said a word. Red lights from the streets burn into the side of his face. Then white. Then it’s dark again. “It’s gonna be fine,” you tell him. He just holds you even tighter. You feel like shit. You can’t even call his brother or his parents or yours because your phones were left behind at your place, and it’s too late to go back for them now.
You arrive at Daegu by eleven o’clock. The moment the cab pulls up at the district hospital, Beomgyu rushes out and runs inside. You pay the fare, thank the driver before catching up to him. The scent of citrus and bleach hits your senses. He’s stuck at the front desk, asking for his mother’s room. “Fourth floor. Ward 23,” says the receptionist. Beomgyu wastes no time in sprinting into a still-open elevator before it could close, tugging you along with him.
He’s antsy all throughout the ride. The moment you land on the fourth floor, he rushes out immediately upon the opening of the doors. You apologize to people he shoved past through, squeezing your way out to see Beomgyu’s back racing down the hallway, single mindedly running to the end of it where you see his dad pushing his mother on a wheelchair, about to enter one of the wards.
“Mom!” Beomgyu yells out. You break into a light jog and head into the same direction.
It’s been a while since you’ve last seen his parents. A million thoughts bombard your head. You yourself are pretty shocked to see his mother in a wheelchair— you can’t imagine what’s going on inside his head as you witness his eyes shake, lips quiver when his steps slow down, walking up to them.
“Oh, dear,” his mom says with an exhale, sounding stressed for some reason. His dad turns the wheelchair to face the hallway instead of the door. “Why are you here?!”
Beomgyu knits his brows. “Hyung told me you were hospitalized! Why wouldn’t I be here?!”
His mom lets out a sigh. She massages her temples. “This is why I told him not to tell you.”
“Mom is fine, son,” his dead assures. “She just fell a little.”
This isn’t received well by Beomgyu. “She’s in a wheelchair!” he exclaims.
And right then, his mom stands up. She gets off the wheelchair, a tired look on her face. Oh. Oh, wow. Beomgyu was about to add something, but his mouth is now left hanging open. There’s a moment of silence, until his mom decides to break it. “I just wanted to try it out,” she says. “Honey, I’m fine.”
The tension quickly fizzles out. Beomgyu is still aghast and confused and conflicted. His dad ushers you all into the ward, in which Beomgyu forces his mother to rest in the bed instead of going out and about before things finally get explained. His mom was prepping for dinner, and she fell from a chair while reaching for something far up in the cabinet. They just went to the hospital to get a check-up just in case. Luckily, nothing is broken, but the doctor recommended for her to be admitted overnight for further observation. 
His dad called his brother to explain why Choi Beomgyu was freaking out so much too. Apparently hyung said the same things but just made the unfortunate choice by prefacing it with, “mom is in the hospital,” causing Beomgyu’s ears to go out of order upon hearing that. 
Beomgyu is still frowning. He’s sitting petulantly beside the hospital bed. “Oh, my sweet baby bear,” his mom says. “I thought you were all grown up. Turns out you’re still a child.”
“I was scared! Hyung should’ve explained better!”
“You didn’t give him the chance,” she sighs. Then, her eyes flit up, seeing you.”Hi, sweetheart. How have you been? I’m sorry for the late greeting. This kid is such a handful.”
You smile at her. “It’s good to see you’re all right, auntie.”
“Do your parents know that you’re here?” she asks. You tell her no, because you left your phones back home in the rush to get here, and she gives Beomgyu a side eye because of that. He simply grumbles and continues twiddling with the blanket. “Use my phone. It’s on the side table. You should give them a call now.”
Beomgyu passes the phone to you. It unlocks without a passcode. “Thanks, auntie.”
She smiles. “Oh, and can you ask your parents if Beomgyu can stay at your place for the night?”
“What?” he starts. “What do you mean? I’m staying here.”
“Your dad’s already staying with me. I’m afraid I’d suffocate with the both of you hovering around me.”
“Why are you trying to kick me out?”
You give them some privacy to talk (read: bicker). It’s already late in the night, so the hallway is quiet but brightly illuminated. The phone rings in your ears as you out into the dark, blanketed sky through the window. There’s a click and you hear your dad at the end of the line. 
The conversation lasts for a while, and you find that you’ve somehow found yourself in the open courtyard behind the hospital building after you’ve finished explaining everything to your dad and catching up for a bit. He’s gonna pick you two up in a few minutes. You let yourself simmer in the cold air for a few more moments before getting back inside.
Minjeong asked you to update them earlier, but you can’t because you don’t have your phone. They’ve probably found out that you left it behind already, but that’s not the problem. Seung must’ve texted you about the date plans already and you’re unintentionally ignoring him right now. But, oh well. You’ll reply tomorrow when you get back to Seoul.
“Auntie, thanks for lending me your phone. Dad said yes. He’s gonna arrive in a—”
You pause. Upon returning to his mom’s corner in the ward, you see Beomgyu fast asleep on the same spot he was in earlier. His head is resting on the bed, eyes fluttered shut while holding his mom’s hand. The lights have dimmed. You see auntie smiling at him. “He’s really still a child.”
“The shock really hit him,” you say, quietly setting the phone back on the table. “He was crying a lot on the way here.”
She hums, then looks up at you. “Can you help me pry him off?”
You laugh. Waking up Beomgyu is always a task. You get near and start shaking him. “Hey. Hey, dip— I mean, Beomgyu. Wake up.” You hear him let out a groan and he nuzzles himself further into the blanket. You get an idea. “Choi Beomgyu, do you remember the time you started a pretty fun lightshow in your kitch—”
“I’m up, I’m up,” he groans, still groggy. He does sit up, but he’s very much still trying to start up his brain. His joints are creaking. He holds onto your arm to help him stand up, brows knitted together as he rubs his eyes. 
“We’ll get going now, auntie. Get well soon.”
She smiles at you. “Thank you for alway taking care of him.”
You feel a swell of warmth in your chest. You nod, mirroring her smile before hauling a sleepy Beomgyu out the ward. The moment you’re out into the hallway, the urge to smack his face awake nearly overtakes you, but you decide against it. Instead, you wring your arms together, lugging him into the elevator so he doesn’t trip over his own feet. 
During the elevator ride, you feel him pile all of his weight onto you, his cheek resting on the side-top of your head. From the reflection, you can see that his eyes are barely open, slowly closing and barely opening again. You breathe out a laugh. The elevator opens. You walk out into the lobby and out the hospital, where you see your dad waiting by the driveway.
It’s a quick drive home. It would be nice to stop by the playground, but the guy you’re with in the backseat right now is pretty much out of commission. Poor boy must’ve been exhausted from the scare.
Beomgyu finally wakes up a bit more upon reaching the building. He mumbles a thank you to your dad, and your dad simply smiles and gives him a pat on the back while ushering him up the stairs. There’s already an extra change of sleeping clothes on the living room table. Your dad tells you to take care of him before disappearing off into his room. 
“Go take a shower, stinky,” you tell him. He grunts and snatches the clothes from you anyway. While he’s in the bathroom, you set up the sofa bed in the living room for him to sleep on, pushing the coffee table away, grabbing some extra pillows and blankets from your room, knees sinking into the mattress as you pat down the sheets. You hear the bathroom door creak open. “Hey, I couldn’t find any other extra blankets except for these Ninja Turtle ones, so I hope you don’t mind—”
The words fizzle out from your throat upon seeing Beomgyu walk into the living area. His hair is still damp, clothes a little too big for him, and his eyes are evidently puffy. You shake your head, a light laugh escaping your lips. What a crybaby, but then again, if you heard the same news— the news that your mother got hospitalized out of the blue, with no discernable explanation, you’re not confident enough to say that you won’t react the same way as he did.
You’d also probably start bawling. And you’re pretty sure Beomgyu would do the same things you’d done tonight too.
He’s still standing there, right in the middle of the open mouth of the short hallway that he’d just emerged from. You let the blanket fall to the floor to stretch out your arms. “Come here,” you say. Footsteps pad down the wooden floor. Beomgyu sinks himself into you, cold skin fresh from the shower melting into the warmth of yours as you fall back into the mattress with a thud. 
You two stay like this for a while, the sound of quiet nights lingering in the air. “Your mom will be fine,” you tell him, drawing circles on his back.
“Mhm,” he mumbles into your hair.
“You’re such a crybaby.” He responds with an annoyed grunt, but his hold on your remains firm. “This is the second time I’ve seen you cry.”
“Shut up,” he rasps, finally pulling away just enough for you to see his face, settling into the spot next to you instead. You roll over to look at him. His left arm is wedged in between your elbow and torso, the other gently holding onto your forearm as his damp hair hovers over his eyes. You have your hands pressed to your chest, feeling each thump on your knuckles for each second your eyes linger on his face. Two thumps. Three. Since when did you get this close? 
Your throat is dry, but you can’t swallow. Your eyes flit down. “Hey,” he says. You can feel his breath on your lips. “Thanks.”
The world stops for a moment.
You offer him a smile before pulling yourself up. The air returns to your lungs. You toss a pillow at him before getting back on your feet. “Get some sleep, crybaby. We gotta be up early for class tomorrow.”
That’s when you finally retreat to your old bedroom to get a maximum of four hours of sleep. You’re pretty sure you weren’t even able to get a single hour in because the next thing you know, the sunrise is already leaking into your bedroom, prompting you to get up and retrieve from the drying your clothes from last night. You make a quick egg and bacon breakfast before heading out, leaving some for your parents, and you two stop by the hospital once more before finally leaving for Seoul at seven-thirty.
“Doesn’t this remind you of high school?” Beomgyu muses while you two hang on to your dear lives standing in the bus commute to the station. 
“Yeah. I don’t ever wanna go back.”
He laughs at that. You smile. He’s finally feeling like himself again. The trip back to Seoul takes ages and you two have no time to go back to your apartment, so you decide to head straight to campus instead to make it to your first class.
That was a mistake though. The moment you and he walk into the lecture hall— together— Jung Sungchan makes the astute observation that you two are wearing the same clothes from yesterday. Heeseung knows what happened. He was fucking there, but starts teasing you about it anyway. It’s like he thrives off of your despair. 
You tell them to shut the fuck up and take your seat, borrowing a pen from Minjeong who asks you about what happened. In your defense, Beomgyu obviously didn’t bring his key to their Daegu house, and you brought all of your nicer clothes here in Seoul. So unless you wanted to wear your atrocious high school fashion sense to uni, you had no choice but to rewear your outfit from yesterday. And, by the way, you washed them! They were in the dryer overnight!
That doesn’t matter to the people around you though. Because it’s almost standard protocol that whatever’s going on with Choi Beomgyu spreads like wildfire within campus grounds. Funny enough, this isn’t the first groundless gossip that you and him are fucking. But you’re less angry this time and just more of just being simply tired of this kind of shit.
You don’t know how well Beomgyu is taking it though. Normally, you can read his face like an open book, but this time you’re not quite sure.
At the end of your class, you quickly rushed off to your apartment while Beomgyu left to attend another class. “Can you bring me my phone when you get back?” he asked you before leaving. 
“Sure. We still have to finalize our presentation this afternoon, right?”
“Yeah. See you later.”
The moment you arrive at your apartment, you immediately check your messages. The last text Seung sent you was at 11:37 p.m. [anyway, just tell me if you change your mind haha. no worries]. Ah, shit. You quickly type down an explanation for what happened last night, and that no, you’re not trying to call the date off while you wiggle into a new set of clothes. You leave again quickly after snatching Beomgyu’s phone from the counter. When you get back to campus again, the tick mark next to your text tells you that Seung has read your message. But he hasn’t replied.
Minjeong tells you that maybe he’s just busy. The afternoon rolls around and you’re walking with her and Sungchan to Horangnabi, and Seung still hasn’t replied, but you set that problem aside for now. Beomgyu, Heeseung, and Jeongin are already there by the time you three arrive. You toss Beomgyu his phone and take one of the available seats across from him.
“Prof Ma says only two people need to present,” you say. “Heeseung, can you do it?”
“Yes, ma’am!”
“Choi Beomgyu, you present too,” says Minjeong. “Use your people pleasing powers for something productive this time.”
He whines, but agrees anyway. While working on the PPT, you notice that he keeps glancing at you. You raise a brow. He says nothing and busies himself with something else, until 5:00 p.m. rolls around— an hour before your supposed date with Seung.
You haven’t told Beomgyu about probably getting ghosted yet because you don’t want him to fucking gloat and snark saying, ha! I told you he was bad news! Instead, you part ways from the group, make a stop back home to get dressed into prettier clothes and retouch your makeup, and shoot one last text to Seung before heading to the restaurant you two had agreed to have dinner at.
“Welcome!”
The sound of a mental clock is ticking inside your head. It’s thirty minutes past six. You’ve already ordered and eaten a meal, and Jang Seung is still nowhere in sight.
This whole situation feels like a shitty sense of deja vu. Your thoughts are verbalized when you see someone walk up to your table just when you’re about to leave. Of course. Who else would show up at your lowest if not Choi Beomgyu? “Wow,” he remarks, taking the liberty to drag the chair in front of you back, and he plops right down. “Deja vu much. Why do you always go on dates with shitty men? Are you cursed or something?”
“Shut up. Maybe you’re the harbinger of my bad luck actually,” you say. “I think he caught whiff of the rumors that we slept together last night. Gosh. Don’t people have anything better to talk about?”
There’s a look on his face. You can’t quite pinpoint what it means. Beomgyu lets out a scoff, tipping back and forth the empty glass on your table with a sneer. “If he was a decent enough person, he wouldn’t flake out on you just because of that,” he says, brushing his hair out of his eyes. “He’d ask you outright if the rumors were true instead of ghosting you like a douchebag.”
You laugh. “That’s true.”
He points his gaze at you. “You’re not sad?”
“No. I’m just a little miffed,” you say. Really. Surprisingly, you don’t feel like shit at all. “Have you eaten yet?”
“Mhm. I was having dinner with some friends, but I got a text from Sungchan that you got stood up again.”
Again. Ouch. No fucking wonder Sungchan messaged you earlier asking where you were. “I cleared up my schedule tonight,” you tell him, getting ready to get up. “Let’s hit the arcade. I need to release some stress.” Your anger gets received by the innocent moles on the whack machine. At least you got something in return— two cheap and shitty keychains, wherein one you end up hooking on the zipper of your bag later that night, the other one you give to Beomgyu as a thank you for yet again, swooping in to save the time you would’ve wasted, had you waited any longer for another failed date.
The only good thing that happens that week is that your group project went really well. Honestly, you had zero hopes from the beginning considering Choi Beomgyu, Lee Heeseung, and Jung Sungchan are notorious for not taking things seriously, but somehow, they’ve managed to prove you wrong. Prof Ma gave you a handful of compliments for the analysis. That’s another dose of helium to inflate Beomgyu’s and Heeseung’s already overly inflated heads.
“Great job,” Minjeong compliments them. Then they turn to you, expecting the same.
You sigh, rolling your eyes, but there’s a smile on your face. “I guess you two were better than I expected.”
Leaving the classroom, you have to split from your group because of a paper you need to submit to the faculty office. Minjeong hugs you goodbye and Beomgyu says he’ll be waiting for you at the parking lot. You hum and turn to the opposite end of the hallway. And that’s when you suddenly hear your name get called out the moment you pass by a group of three girls. 
“Hey, you,” one of them hollers again. You spin your heels, a little confused, then point a finger to your chest. “Yeah. Come here for a sec.”
Yet again you’re hit with a distasteful sense of deja vu. Cautiously, you walk towards the group. Vaguely familiar faces. You think you’ve seen one of them before, but you’re not quite sure. They say nothing once you stop a few steps closer. The one in the middle looks you up and down. And then a laugh brushes past her lips, twitching into a bitter smile.
What the actual fuck. “I don’t get what he sees in you,” is all she says before walking away. Again, what the actual fuck.
The interaction lingers in the back of your mind until Choi Beomgyu texts you at two in the morning to join him at the nearby 90s themed diner just a few walks away from your apartment. You two share a rootbeer float with burgers and fries as a mini celebration for your successful presentation, he says. You squint at his face as he takes a bite from his burger. He mimics your squint, albeit his looks more confused and suspicious than investigative. “What?” he asks.
“We really need to do something about these rumors,” you start. Beomgyu simply lets out a sigh and sets his burger down while you tell him what happened earlier, and while you’re chattering on about your story, Beomgyu takes a single fry, dips it in the ice cream of your float, and reaches his arm out across the table to feed it to you. “Wasn’t she one of your friends? The one who—” you stop your rambling, looking down at the food offering in front of you.
Your gaze flits up. Gosh. This is why people think you’re dating.
Still, you open your mouth and let him feed you anyway. Beomgyu hums out a smile, satisfied and grabs a fry for himself. “So what do you wanna do?” he asks. “Are you gonna put some distance between us again? Ask me to act like I don’t know you.”
You kick him from underneath the table. He lets out a pained yelp.
“I know what I need to do,” you say, determined. 
Beomgyu lifts his chin up in anticipation. There’s a hint of mockery in his tone. “What do you need to do?”
“I need to get a boyfriend.”
Then he starts choking. You toss him a napkin and he calls for a server for a glass of water. You wait until he finally recovers before you continue your piece. Beomgyu glugs down the entire glass and slams it down the table. “What kind of mental gymnastics are you pulling?” he asks. “I think you need to get your head checked.”
You ignore his insult. Instead, you push forward. “You’ve got a lot of friends. Set me up with one of them.”
Beomgyu’s face is flat. “No. No way.”
“C’mon!”
“Have you gotten over Jeong Seung, or whatever, ghosting you already? How can you hop onto a new guy so quickly? You know you can’t trust men nowadays.”
You click your tongue. “We weren’t even talking for that long, and I know you won’t set me up with a bad guy! Please? Do this for me, just once, and I won’t bring up something like this ever again.”
Choi Beomgyu looks like he’s judging you to the ends of the earth, but his lack of verbal response tells you he’s actually considering it, and he’s not quite happy about it. He lets out a grumble and slides up the wrinkled receipt you have on your table. Then starts scoring unintelligible marks on it with his index nail.
“What the hell are you doing?” you ask, craning your head forward.
“Listing down your candidates,” he says, and your eyes widen in pleasant surprise.
“Holy shit, I didn’t think you’d actually agree.” He grunts in response. You try your best to make out his shitty handwriting, but when you do manage to decipher one the names listed, you snatch the receipt from him and your face quickly contorts into disgust. You squint your eyes at the scribble to confirm you read it right. You are unfortunately proven correct. “Heeseung? Seriously?”
Beomgyu simply shrugs. “His compsci girl dumped him. It’s time for you to sweep him off his feet.”
“I’d rather kill myself, thank you. Have you forgotten he’s the reason why the rumors are as bad as they are?” you say, bringing the list closer to your face while your eyes quickly scan through them.  
“How about Hyunjin hyung?” he asks. Oh, yeah. He’s definitely listed here.
“I make his heart race, but not for the good reasons,” you answer, and you reach the end of his stupid fucking list. “Wait a minute. Only your club buddies are in this. All of them are less than human. How dare you?”
He lets out a huff. “Even Hanbin?” Well. Hanbin is definitely better than all of them combined, for sure. “I thought you had eyes for him.”
That completely catches you off guard that your breath stutters a little. Yeah, Sung Hanbin has definitely proven himself as boyfriend material while you worked with him at Horangnabi, but you’re pretty sure he has something going on with Julie seonbae and you have no plans on being a third-party— not matter how desperate you are to just find a quick and easy date. 
“Then, you thought wrong,” you retort. What even gave him that idea?  “Anyway, nevermind. I realized that I’d rather not outsource my future boyfriend from you because none of your recommendations are good enough.”
He snorts, taking a sip from the float. “Boyfriends are definitely outsourced, sure.”
You snatch it from him before his lips can even touch the straw. “You’re so unsupportive. I’ll ask Minjeong to set me up on a blind date instead.”
Beomgyu wonders if you can even trust Minjeong’s eye for men considering that she didn’t even guess that Jang Seung was actually a jerk. You shoot him a glare. The coming morning, you actually do end up bumping into Seung again for the first time since he ghosted you. You walk up to him for a hello— for some closure maybe, but all he does is shove past you before you can even let a syllable out. Heeseung is with you when that happens. His mouth drops in outrage, head snapping back at Seung’s direction, and he almost starts marching after him. “Hey, what the fuck—”
“Leave it be.” You grab onto Heeseung’s arm, stopping him from causing a scene. “It’s not worth it. Let’s just head to class.”
“What a douche,” he huffs out, sending Seung one last glare drilled into the back of his head before matching your pace.
Minjeong pulls through with arranging you a date with a friend of a friend of a friend. She says he’s hot. You trust her judgment because, well, third time’s the charm, right? You’re headed to a newly opened board game cafe downtown five minutes later than scheduled because if you’re gonna get stood up again, you might as well waste five minutes less of your time. A text from Beomgyu alerts you the moment you lay your hands on the door— [i can’t swoop in this time once you get ghosted again. they won’t let me leave the clubroom 😢]. Once you get ghosted. Asshole. You don’t bother replying and head inside.
Much to your surprise, your date is already there, introducing himself as Song Eunseok and you do the same. Now, he seems nice and all— and holy shit he looks like he could be an actor— but the biting feeling that you’ve heard of him before is preventing you from feeling guilty. You order a light meal. Eunseok does the same and tries to make small talk in a light mood. Eunseok. Eunseok. Where the fuck did you hear that name from again?
“Ah!” you exclaim, preemptively dropping the dice on the snakes and ladders board. “Do you know Lee Heeseung by any chance?”
He looks surprised. “Oh, I do, actually. Are you friends—”
Then it hits him. And then his face grows pale. You lean back, arms crossed, something patronizing tugging on your gums that forms your mouth into a half-smile, riddled with incredulity and offense. Go on. Explain, your face says. This was the guy Heeseung set you up with last semester and ditched you. Of course you never have one normal, decent date. You’re actually cursed.
“Uh. Wow. Haha. What a coincidence.”
Beomgyu’s soulmate talk from the other day comes to mind. You’ve smuggled a blind date with this guy twice, which has to be a weird string of fate, right? It should be romantic, but the only thing you’re feeling right now is mild annoyance and a surge of satisfaction after seeing this guy’s guilt ridden face. See, soulmates are bullcrap. Choi Beomgyu can eat shit.
“There— there was an emergency,” he sputters out. “The guys who I asked to watch my dog while I was out canceled last minute. I couldn’t just leave Charlie alone at home.”
Well. He did show you pictures of Charlie, so that amended your opinion about him a but. Just a little bit because from that revelation, the any hope of things progressing into something more was magnanimously ruined, but neither of you wanted to waste your meal, and you two were still in the middle of a 1v1 snakes and ladders competition so you went on with the date, and he walked you to the bus stop 
He was cool. Kind of. You tell Heeseing about it at Horangnabi the next day, and he falls to the floor crying and slamming his fists to the ground. “It’s not fucking funny,” you say.
“It’s so fucking funny,” he wheezes. “Holy shit. What are the odds? This is amazing.”
A chortle-snort huffs out of you beyond your control. Okay. Maybe it is a little funny. Until it’s not, because later that evening you receive a text from an acquaintance you have in one of your GE courses, a picture of you and Eunseok attached from that night, asking [hey is this you? did you break up with choi beomgyu?] 
That was when the third wave of rumors started.
And it’s arguably the worst wave yet.
“Once I find out who fucking posted this, I swear to god—”
Minjeong is stomping the ground. You’re sitting on a bench at the courtyard, face-to-face with an anonymous post on the student board. It’s a big block of text, glaring straight at you from Sungchan’s laptop screen with a heading in thick, bold letters saying Do you think some people just cheat as a hobby? You don’t know why they’re showing this to you. That is until you read the first few lines, and it hits you.
[Post: I’m not naming any names, but there was this girl I was talking to for a while. We hit it off immediately and she acted like she was super into me so I asked her out on a date after a few weeks of talking. Lmao. She said yes but didn’t reply to my texts for the rest of the night, and the next morning I find out she has a boyfriend who she’s been too busy fucking the entire night so that’s why she that’s why she wasn’t replying. Sure. Okay. Whatever. But today I got the news that she’d been cheating on him with another guy again. Guess some bitches are just born as whores. Ifykyk lol].
[Comment from Anon 1: LMAO the way I know exactly who this is referring to. you dodged a bullet, buddy. the bf’s dumb too for not dumping her yet]. [Reply from Anon 2: to think the guy has flaked out on us so many times just because of  his serial cheater girlfriend. buddy, get the fuck up. open your eyes].
[Comment from Anon 3: ain’t it weird how she’s always in and out of a clubroom full of guys? lol, must be wild in there].
[Comment from Anon 4: drop names! people need to know which freaks to avoid!]
There’s a lot more comments. Sungchan shuts his laptop before you can read any more. Minjeong is fuming from behind you. Sure, there weren’t any names, but it’s obvious who the poster is referring to. It’s obvious who posted this. But you’re not even angry. Your chest doesn’t sting, you don’t feel your head throbbing. All you’re thinking is wow— you can’t just expect everyone to mature the moment they leave high school. Some people still mentally belong to the playground.
“I’ve reported it,” says Sungchan. “Don’t think about it too much. It’s all bullshit anyway.”
“Yeah, don’t worry,” you smile, getting up from the bench seat and landing a ruffle on his head. “It’s fine. Thank god I’ve grown out of my anger issues. The guy would be dead if he pulled this stunt last sem.”
Minjeong and Sungchan escort you halfway to the coding club room because you mean to check on how Beomgyu’s faring. On the way, you pass by a group of people— a few familiar faces amongst them— their eyes trained on you as you pass by. “Fucking whore,” you hear one of them gruffly whisper, followed by hushed laughs, and you and Sungchan have to stop Minjeong from throttling them. It’s like high school all over again. This is ridiculous.
“Are you sure you don’t want us to come with you?” Sungchan asks, a hallway away from their clubroom. You tell them it’s fine and shoo them off to head to their classes. They leave, albeit hesitantly, and you finally make your way to the room, the old gray door right in front of you.
Your hand reaches out for the handle. But you don’t twist it open. You pause, lips pressed together, deep in thought.
These guys only tease you and Choi Beomgyu just for the hell of it— you know that. You truly know that. But because of you, some anonymous fucks are talking shit about their friend online right now, and you know they’re his friends before yours. You hesitate for a moment, hand letting go of the handle, until you hear someone walk up from behind.
“Oh, sorry, I—uh, I was just—”
“You’re not coming in?”
It’s Hanbin. You blink at him. He’s still smiling at you pleasantly, like he always has. Maybe he hasn’t seen the post yet. He hums and nudges himself beside you, opening the door in your stead, and holds an arm out, ushering you in.  
You hesitate for a moment. You suck in a deep breath and charge in, expecting maybe an awkward bout of silence from your intrusion. Or the noise pollution they usually emit. But no. You don’t think you’d have ever predicted to see all of them standing in formation right in front of you— two lines, front and back with Heeseung and Jeongin at the head of the back. Beomgyu’s in there too, wedged far left at the very back. What is this? What the hell is going on?
Suddenly, Heeseung stomps his feet, four fingers pointed to his temple in a salute. This is just confusing you even further. “Atten—tion!” he hollers. The rest follow with a resounding, chest-heavy exhale, posing in the same manner.
You’re about to ask what in the world they’re up to. Until Heeseung and Jeongin suddenly break out into an oath of speech.
Nothing will ever prepare you for this moment. They’re all crazy.
“We, the honorable members of Kool Kids Koding Klub—”
“We, the honorable members of Kool Kids Koding Klub.”
You were never informed that that was their club’s name. That’s so fucking stupid. You have to hold in a burst of laughter.
“After a long moment of thoughtful reflection and inward-consideration—”
“After a long moment of thoughtful reflection and inward-consideration.”
“Do humbly realize that we have fucked up and have been abominably stupid—”
“Do humbly realize that we have fucked up and have been abominably stupid.”
“In the following ways.”
“In the following ways.”
This is stupid. This is insane. You turn to Hanbin. He just gives you a look that says, “let them finish.” You cup your mouth with a hand, cheeks protruding. Gosh, they’re a bunch of idiots.
“Number one. For making constant jokes and teasing you and our fellow member Choi Beomgyu about a relationship that we know has never existed despite your evident and consistent expression of disapproval— we are sorry.”
“We are sorry!”
Wow. So they are capable of self-reflection.
“Two. For bringing said stupid and dumb and distasteful jokes in public— which may or may not have reached the ears of susceptible bystanders who do not know the true and full truth— we are sorry.”
“We are sorry!”
How’d they memorize all this? You’re honestly impressed.
“Lastly, we—”
“—Lee Heeseung—”
“—and Yang Jeongin—”
“—duly acknowledge and take responsibility for the fact that we, unintentional or otherwise, may have inadvertently started and exacerbated these horrible rumors, which eventually caused a butterfly effect and snowballed to an extent and severity that we lacked the foresight to predict and prevent. For this, we are truly, deeply sorry.”
“We are sorry!”
They all bow in unison. Ninety degrees. It’s quiet now. Dead quiet. Your eyes scan the number of heads turned down, some bobbing ever the slightest, some dead still and frozen. “W—we…we’re done,” you hear Jeongin say. You bite down a laugh. The moment you utter a semblance of forgiveness— not even able to finish your sentence yet— Heeseung immediately springs out of formation and throws himself into you.
“Don’t worry! We’re on your side!” he declares. “We know you’d never ever cheat on Beomgyu!”
There’s a cough. You stare at him, his arms wrapped around your shoulders in silence. No one says anything. Heeseung shamefully pries himself off of you.
“Sorry. I’m not making those jokes ever again. Please don’t hate me.”
You give him a push. “Too bad. I already hate you.” Heeseung whimpers. Then you turn to the rest of the boys, all patiently waiting for you to give them the greenlight. “You guys didn’t do anything wrong. I don’t blame any of you.”
And it’s like the oxygen returns into the room and they release sighs in a chorus. Yeonjun walks up to you for a hug and tells you to cheer up. Hyunjin says that they’ve been trying to track the original poster’s and commenter’s IP addresses and connected accounts since this morning. They’re actually doing something club related for once. You’re shocked and proud.
“Thanks, but there’s really no need. I already know who posted it,” you say. Your eyes are trained to the back of the room, where Beomgyu is hovering around. He hasn’t come up to you yet. You really need to talk to him.
“Still,” Hanbin says. “It’s better to get concrete evidence. We can report them to student affairs for this, you know. This isn’t just some minor issue.”
You point your chin up, giving him a smile in response before excusing himself to corner the guy in the corner. 
He’s not going anywhere. You move in one straight direction. Heeseung and Jeongin step aside to make way for you. Old plastic bottles and tattered furniture are no obstacles to you. You march up to Choi Beomgyu. He doesn’t move, but he doesn’t look at you either until you’re already standing in front of him, shoes pointed a mere inches away from each other. He’s fidgeting with his fingers. His eyes peer up— hesitant, unsure. You can clearly see what’s troubling him. 
It’s like he’s bracing himself for you to push him away. Again. Like he’s always causing you trouble. Like he’s always been the root of all your problems.
Your throat tightens, but you swallow it down. What should you do to make it clear to him that that’s really not the case?
“I’m borrowing him for a moment.”
You don’t wait for an assent when you grab him by the arm and pull him out of the clubroom for some privacy. The hallway is full of people. You pay no mind to the dozens of eyes drilling into you as you tug Beomgyu’s jacket sleeve through the turns and corners, stairs and exits until you find yourselves at the back of the building, devoid of anybody else. You let go of him with a push. Beomgyu’s heels scrape against the ground. You cross your arms, looking at him with a huff.
“Spit it out,” you say. “What’s going on inside your head?”
His face is tense. He lifts up his hand— barely. Just barely in an attempt to reach out to yours, but a hesitant quiver forces it back down. Fuck. You really don’t like this. You don’t like this at all. 
“I’ve been thinking,” he starts.
“Shocker,” you respond, trying to lighten things up. 
“Shut up.” It works for a second because he shoots you an annoyed glare. Only for a second because he gets serious again, and your stomach feels heavy. Like the earth wants to swallow you whole. “Can you be honest with me? Am I giving you a hard time?”
You feel a squeeze in your lungs. You press your lips together. You force in a breath.
“I think— I think I won’t be too mad this time if you ask me to act like I don’t know you again,” he says. “It was more peaceful for you, wasn’t it? Nobody bothered you and you spent your uni life without having to hear anything painful or mean from people you don’t even know. I’m sorry. This is all my fault. I should’ve tried harder to protect you. I’m sorry.”
Beomgyu says nothing more. It gets quiet. You run the words he just said over and over again in your head wondering why the hell would he ever think that? Why would he think you’d want that? “Hey, fuckface,” you say. He flinches. “Do you remember what you said to me the day we made up?”
He stiffens. There’s no way he wouldn’t remember. There’s no way you’d ever forget.
“You said you couldn’t live without me.”
A tinge of red stains his ears. You pull on the arm he held back earlier, forcing him to finally look at you in the eye. They’re stained red too. The back of your throat burns. You don’t care. You push the words out of your mouth even if it ends up killing you.
“If you can’t live without me, what makes you think that I can live without you?”
Beomgyu’s eyes widen— like it’s a surprise for him to hear that. Like it’s a surprise for him to still be near you, hovering around in a circle that he thought was temporary. It’s not. That’s one thing you’re sure of. That’s one thing you can say with confidence that’s never going to change.
“You’re so stupid,” you say, roughly letting go of him. “Take back your apology. You’re uglier when you’re about to cry than when you’re actually crying.” He responds by pushing himself back into your space, and you’re taken aback when he suddenly swallows you with his arms. 
He’s squeezing you so tightly. He isn’t even giving you the wiggle room to hug him back.
“Thank fucking god,” he breathes out, voice muffled into your shoulder. 
You do what you can to pat what you can reach. Beomgyu finally releases you after fifteen, twenty seconds. His eyes still look a little irritated, but he didn’t cry. There aren’t any snot marks on your shirt. He’s such a baby.
“But, you know,” he says with a sniffle. “I’ll do whatever I can to fix this, but this is really gonna ruin your chances of getting a boyfriend.”
“Rumors stand nothing against my nightly eleven-eleven wishes.” 
He laughs a little. You smile. “You’re so fucking lame.”
The fruits of the coding club’s labor materialized two days later. You receive a text early in the morning to head to the clubroom. Jeongin welcomes you with a list of all the people who made malicious comments on the post and, of course, the poster himself— Jang Seung. No shit. That was expected. But what came as a bit more of a surprise not only to you, but to Beomgyu as well, is the fact that many of his many many many friends were on that list, their corresponding comments attached.
It doesn’t really bother you since you don’t even know them. But you can’t say the same for Choi Beomgyu.
“I didn’t see it coming either— wait! Beomgyu, where are you going?”
Beomgyu storms out of the club room, shoving off Yeonjun’s hand when the former tried stopping him— much to no avail, because he’s already gone before you know it. Some of the guys follow him out. You’re not too worried. You’re pretty sure he’s got a sound head on his shoulders. He’s never gotten into a fight since he was, like, twelve. 
But maybe you overestimated his impulse control. Maybe you should’ve paid more attention to his expression when they revealed the list, because you later find him sitting on the stairs to the entrance of your apartment building with two unmistakable, vivid, and well-formed bruises on his cheekbone and jaw.
You stop at the foot of the stone stairs. He looks up at you with a grin. “You’re home.”
Spinning. Your head is spinning. “You’re a mess,” you tell him. Beomgyu gets up and follows you into the building, into your apartment, and you sit him down on the sofa before you make a beeline for the fridge to grab a bag of frozen vegetables, wrapping it with a fresh dishcloth.
Beomgyu refuses to tell you what happened when you start icing his face. You look at him, the makeshift ice pack retracted from his bruise while you give him your most done expression you can muster. He won’t budge. You put Jeongin on the phone. The guy spills everything to the table without even needing a nudge.
“You just lost a good chunk of your friends,” you say, as a matter of fact, while tapping the cold cloth to his face.
Jeongin had just informed you that he blew up on his so called friends earlier, causing a minor, uh, altercation to break out, with one of them landing a fist to his face because Beomgyu allegedly dropped the terms pathetic and disgusting pieces of shits, as your informant quotes. Beomgyu doesn’t look bothered at all. His eyes just wander around the corners of your apartment as you tell him that his social circle just shrunk overnight.
“You think I care about that?” he says, leaning back against your couch. Your arm stretches out to chase after his face. “I really don’t give a shit. I can live without them.” But it stutters mid-air after hearing that. You clear your throat. You tell him to scoot over and make room because you can’t reach the bruise.
“This is gonna look pretty ugly tomorrow,” you remark. He says his hands got a little fucked too. You sit up, face scrunching. Indeed, his knuckles aren’t looking pretty. You grunt and fish for a first aid kit from your bathroom cabinet. When you get back to the living room, Beomgyu is sitting patiently with the vegetable pack pressed to his face.
“I’d like you to be angrier, honestly,” he says while you put some ointment on the hills of his knuckles. “This is all my fault.”
You set his hand down on your tangled legs on the couch, still barely grazing over his fingers. “I already told you, it’s not,” you sternly say. Beomgyu fiddles with your fingers. He’s not looking at you. “It’s not your fault everyone’s so far up in your business.”
“Well. That’s true.” Beomgyu simply lets out a lamenting sigh. “Why am I so perfect? It’s so hard being a wanted man.”
You roughly let go of his hand, tossing the ointment at him too. “If you’re so perfect, go fix yourself up, you fuck.”
He whines and tells you you’re a heartless meanie, picking on an injured man, and you feel a weight lift off your shoulders because he’s being annoying again. Because he’s acting like his usual self again— and to you that’s the only thing that matters right now. Even if the entire world thinks you’re a whore and a bitch and a cheater, there’s still one person who’s willing to get his face bruised and battered just to tell them they’re wrong.
That’s enough, you think. That’s more than enough.
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나비 / NABI. © hannie-dul-set, 2024.
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chiisana-sukima · 16 days
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nine people i want to get to know better
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Thank you for the tag, @slutsons-blog! Starting a new post because I'm autistic and therefore mostly only care about the "Current Obsession" question, and want to ramble excessively as usual in that one.
Last song: Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Red Rescue Team: Pokemon Square because I'm currently playing Pokemon Mystery Dungeon with my daughter. Otherwise I honestly couldn't tell you. Whatever was on in my car.
Fave color: Purple
Currently watching: Star Trek Discovery
Last movie: Knives Out
Sweet/spicy/savory: Sweet, tart, salty
Relationship: married x 27 years
Last thing I googled: the word "dependent", for spelling assistance. which is a good thing because I spelled it "dependant".
Current Obsession: it's been spn since 2016. Truly we are the Hotel California of media franchises. I did recently play Disco Elysium twice in a row in quick succession, and I follow the DE tag. I can't recommend the game highly enough.... but I can feel my Special Interest-level obsession with it fading already. Spn has never faded even a tiny bit and I wonder if it ever will.
@slutsons-blog I feel after reading that you're watching spn for the first time, that I did you a bit of a disservice with my Sam takes to you before in that I mostly talked about Sam's evolution as a character as the show goes on and very little about him from the first five seasons.
Gotta be honest and tell you that although I liked both brothers all along, I was a Dean girl until the end of s6/beginning of s7, when the balance of who gets whumped the most started shifting and my subconscious suddenly decided to switch allegiances. It's not that I liked Dean any less; my id just loves a sopping wet pathetic kitten of a man who has been sexually abused, and Sam got suddenly way more kitteny and pathetic after the Cage. So I don't actually have a ton of takes on "what to love about Sam in the early seasons". I do love early seasons Sam too--she is my beautiful baby princess--but my early seasons takes are a lot more inchoate.
I count myself lucky about my id's sudden defection though, because I think we have limited control of who our blorbos are, and having Dean as a blorbo is a tough row to hoe as the later seasons go along. You know how you noticed that in s6, Dean suddenly gets a lot more assholey without apparent reason? Unfortunately he never gets better again, and in fact keeps getting worse and worse as the years go by, until by the last seasons he is openly far more abusive to their joint child(-in-an-adult body) than John was to him and Sam. It's a realistic picture of what can happen when trauma keeps piling up on people, but it's also honestly pretty distressing, especially if he's your blorbo.
If one is in it for the ship, there's some good destiel content in the later seasons, but if you're in it for Dean, you're left either 1) dealing with the fact he's got extremely significant interpersonal problems that he never gets much of anywhere on solving and that negatively impact his chosen family in profound ways, or 2) pretending he's the same character he was in s1 and Sam is the same Sam from s1, only more boring, and Dean is just trying to put up with him because he was brainwashed by John (or ig 3- something in the middle between those two. But that seldom seems to happen in practice for whatever reason). These two versions of the show are poorly compatible, and that's how the Sam girls and the Dean girls end up in isolated silos. A few people manage to live in both, but not many.
Anyway, I feel like without the context of how Sam and Dean change in the mid to late seasons, the two fics I recc'd as Sam character studies are going to seem insanely Dean-critical, so if you haven't read them yet, you might want to wait until s10. In the meantime, the general recs are fun reads and hopefully do a good job of showcasing both characters earlier on.
Tagging (but I would be a huge hypocrite if I didn't specify there's no pressure to respond, since I almost always fail at responding to tag games myself): @adihildilid @aliusfrater @quietwingsinthesky @sammygender @ardentpoop
@peanutbutterandbananasandwichs @schizosamwincester @normalbrothershow @jellybracelet.
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rosettyller · 1 year
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some analysis of this scene from 2x02, because i am going absolutely insane over it:
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first up: it's 2 500 BCE. They've known each other for around 1500 years at this point, but they haven't been meeting up very often; it's implied at this point, that they've only met at the Garden, and the Flood, and now here (as well as in Heaven, but there's varying interpretations about how much they each remember of Heaven).
(worth noting that these meetings are all bible-related meetings)
So, they don't know each other very well at all. This is why Aziraphale approaches Crowley so cautiously (apart from the fact that he thinks Crowley's going around murdering goats and soon kids). He doesn't know what happened to Crowley when he Fell, how he changed when he fell in with Lucifer, how God's rejection has warped Crowley's perspective or changed his morals (their meeting at the Flood seemed quite short, not enough time to get a definite picture.)
Aziraphale is still seeing Crowley as demonic, although there's already that thread of doubt - can you really see him trying to talk Hastur or Ligur out of this the way he does Crowley?
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Aziraphale clings to the memory of Angel Crowley - Crowley gets quite defensive.
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Here, Crowley reinforces that he's changed - personally I don't believe that he did fight in the War, but his views of God's Plan definitely got more extreme than "thats terrible god should get a suggestion box".
But, I also believe that here, Crowley is reinforcing that he is no longer an angel, and therefore no longer has to play by angel rules. He can do what he wants. He's a demon, it's in his job description.
And of course, that he is a demon, and he is Evil, and of course he would kill goats.
(more under the cut, because I just can't stop talking)
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This shot is very yellow. Crowley's hair being the season 1 orange rather than red, the yellow walls, all accentuate the colour of Crowley's eyes, highlighting the physical reminder of Crowley's demonic nature.
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I couldn't be bothered to gif it, but here, Crowley leans forward into Aziraphale's face. There are two reasons for this:
Get his yellow Demon Eyes right in Aziraphale face, just to hammer home his point.
It's an aggressive action, moving into someone's personal space like that. Saying, I could hurt you, I'm violent and aggressive and dangerous, I killed those goats, the kids are next.
The way the light hits Crowley's eyes in the above shot and the below shot also make them a very bright yellow. (Edit: I think someone pointed out that Crowley is making his eyes glow, but the overall yellowness of the scene serves to highlight this)
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Clever wording on Crowley's part, because as we will find out, he faked the destruction of the goats to keep them safe, while making himself sound very evil.
You'll notice the repetition of "blameless"; this makes him seem even more evil, hurting the innocent, but also gives deeper insight into one of Crowley's biggest issues: hurting the innocent. What have they done to deserve this? Nothing.
This ties in quite nicely with what we have seen before of Crowley and free will; he gives people the option to sin. It's their actions that decide whether they end up in Heaven or Hell; they get what they deserve for their actions. He just makes it easier to choose Hell. (see: phone lines being down making people crankier and encouraging them to be horrible to each other, but it still being their choice, setting the holy water bucket above the door, so it's Ligur's choice to come in after Crowley that gets him killed.)
Note also the use of "long":
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Aziraphale says to "tell me you want to do this". "Long" has rather stronger connotations than "want", but also rawer, more fundamental. Crowley is reminding Aziraphale that he is a demon, and that he has the traits of a demon, this is what he is now. He longs for violence, for destruction.
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Aziraphale looks quite sad here. If you watch the video I linked, his previous conviction that Crowley doesn't want to do it is very strong. He fully believes in Crowley, that all he needs to do is reframe not killing the kids as within the rules of Hell, the way Crowley so often comes to do for Aziraphale ("Then you can't be certain that thwarting me isn't part of the divine plan too. I mean, you're supposed to thwart the wiles of the Evil One at every turn, aren't you?" "If you put it that way, Heaven couldn't actually mind me thwarting you.").
Aziraphale believed Crowley was still good, that the angel he remembered was still in there. But Crowley rejects it - and it hurts. Crowley has become what a demon should be.
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Crowley looks quite sorrowful here, too: he already cares for Aziraphale (he fell in love at the Garden), and it hurts to decieve him, to disappoint him, to hurt him.
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I would argue that here, Crowley is scared.
He's in shadow, which dims the yellows; his undemonic nature is about to be revealed.
And that is not safe, because Hell does not send rude notes. And here, Crowley is not doing just any temptation, but trying to help Satan win a bet (supposedly). And out of every demon in Hell, Satan is the one you want to piss off the least.
But here, Crowley is scared because Aziraphale could reveal him - because Aziraphale is on God's side, and because it is revealed that Crowley is not nearly as demonic as he makes himself out to be. He's vulnerable. Aziraphale could scorn him, hurt him. But instead:
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Aziraphale is incredibly smug. "I knew I was right", he says. "I knew you were still good".
And here is another issue: Aziraphale conflates God/Heaven/angels with good, and demons/Hell with bad.
And Crowley does not see Heaven as good. He doesn't want Aziraphale to see his angelic core past the demonic exterior. He's on his own side.
This, for Aziraphale, confirms that "the angel you knew is not me", is not correct.
And I think, out of the three minisodes, it's this one that does the most for fleshing out Aziraphale and Crowley's frames of mind this series, and why they choose what they choose in ep6.
Aziraphale has been proven right about Crowley's angelic nature, and that he wants to do good, but can't, for fear of Hell's retribution.
And Crowley does not see Heaven as good. He recognises that being an angel again will not allow him the freedom to do good. (as Aziraphale had to try and talk a demon into helping him save the kids from God.)
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