#how much this song touches me is indescribable

[makshu]

Eu to chorando... e muito

I'm crying... and a lot

[scarlettmurphy]

STARCROSSED PT2 +ੈ✩‧₊˚ LOGAN HOWLETT.

logan and y/n — where you are completely in love with a man older then you’re father by a good century or so.. whose completely in love with another.

- content warning age gap (is legal) drinking. explicit. swearing. dirty humour. comfort (an ounce). drugs. nsfw. sick. body issues. sh. angst.. maybe happy endings?! pairings: older!logan howlett x xaiver!reader. logan howlett x jean grey.

spoiler: insane yearning and angst i’m sorry im too far gone ☹️ happy ? where.

note this is part two to starcrossed, prepare for even heavier angst!🫶🏻 i didn’t realise how sad this was until i finished the chapter and realised holy shit this is long. part three is already in the works. i hope u enjoy it! make sure to read pt1. it’s a bit diff from the first one but i hope u like it still. also if you’ve seen the movie ten things i hate about u the mid bit of this might remind u of that one scene if u get me :) song: need you now by lady a cos i was listening to it and jeff buckley whilst reading this? also on the timeline im going for like xmen 2 time i think?

tags — @faceache111 @malfoys-demigod @navs-bhat @dilfismz @thisbipuff-isaswiftie @twinky-wink @thewiselionessss @thecraziestcrayon @awhoreforalotofshows @emily-b @jae48 @cxptainbuck @444st4rg1rl 🫶🏻

[i hope you like it!!]

you’d absolutely love to believe that what you heard last night wasn’t what happened but as your mind goes over the previous night as you fought yourself to stay awake during your fathers little class your brain couldn’t forget the continuous moans and little yells that you heard from a few rooms across from your own at the mansion for a good hour or two last night. you can’t help but figure out that logan most certainly found jean and just thinking about it made you feel sick. scott being the main thing on your brain after you got over the fact logan most definitely fucked jean last night.

she was a cheater. what else could you expect? your thoughts swirling in your brain causing an indescribable amount of heart ache as you kept yourself completely quiet and withdrawn from whatever was going on in this lesson, rogue clearly being able to tell you were off as she glanced at bobby giving him a look you picked up on — him shrugging his shoulders in return as you cursed your sadness for being so obvious.

just the thought of jean and logan staring at eachother hurt you but her touching him, his hands over her skin, her lips on his, his mind only on her in that moment and his gaze locked into hers as she let him take her yet again enraged you to another level it was a struggle not to jump into his mind and find out exactly what happened but you couldn’t, you wouldn’t. your brain fighting with your heart in every way as you felt sick with all those pictures of the scenario you were forming for yourself.

so from that knowledge as you sat in class you knew you needed to stop liking him for good. he didn’t like you, he was throwing it in your face. you heard it all and it hurt you too much to bare. you didn’t even wanna look at him — that single thought of contact sending you crazy. you couldn’t even bring yourself to see him today. you didn’t want too, you couldn’t. seeing jean as you passed through the kitchen earlier was enough to make you nearly cry and immediately stop that tiny breakfast you had made.

you really couldn’t deal with this. one bit. you never did well with emotional pain — physical was something you could endure, yet emotional was always something you couldn’t stomach ever since you were a little girl.

+ੈ✩‧₊˚

you'd been avoiding him like the plague. literally. whenever you saw him at the end of the halls you'd turn the other away, force a little smile and act like you had somewhere to go if you were in conversation and it had been like that for two weeks. two weeks had passed since one of your normal conversations, the friendly chats you admired in your brain and made out to be more, the little touches he'd give you that you couldn't comprehend was only a friend thing to do, the way he'd hug you.. the deep conversations, the way he'd sometimes kiss your forehead before you left for bed, watching the rain together and just joking together all something you had put in the past. that had been gone for two weeks and to say it was breaking you would be an understatement.

you could tell others has noticed the practical borderline dissociation within you since you had been a little mute recently not that it was specially due to logan (it completely all was) but you didn't want it to be obvious, you hated that it could be perceived that way so you knew you had to do something about it. who knew heartache for one that didn't love you back could destroy you this badly from the inside out?

.. and today was no different on the logan front. you saw him once today in the halls ushering something to hank — the two in bustling conversation and you made sure not to risk it by going to class, to upset over it all to deal with another short horrible conversation where you were nothing but cold to him as you tried to cut down any romantic feelings you had for him. every time you spoke now you could see the confusion and frustration in his eyes, the mental image to much to bare as you went on hiding in your room and pondering and that’s where you had been since — buried in clothing choices as you tried to stomach down the anxiety that had been growing in you over the fact it was jeans birthday party today and you would have to make an appearance after you had been a hermit since you’d got your heart broken by a guy that didn’t even know. rogue and bobby being the only two people you had really spoke too since the shut down yet their concern had been growing annoying as rogue clearly told bobby about the little crush she could’ve guessed, and got out of you when the two of you were high together a few months ago, you had on logan. bobby actually giving you little options of guys you could date to get over someone which was all you needed to hear when you realised rogue had told him as he literally mentioned hank who they knew you recently hiked with since he had been bothering you over your melancholy, yet you had left before it was a full fledge little argument.

just the thought of having to socialise with him and the others and step out of the hole you’d built for yourself to hide in irritated you especially for jean of all people’s party, your ‘smidge’ of hatred for the woman who had really been rude to you since she’d known you not because of logan, because god on that front she wins and it feels like she’s married to him despite her ties to scott, but on the power front. she knew you had powers incomparable to hers that you hardly even showcased magneto being someone who taught you many things when you were younger, your own parents being raven and charles. of course you had powers which were indescribable.

and most of the time you wanted to use it on that bitch. you were lucky she couldn’t get into your twisted mind to find that fact out.

you let out a little sigh as you decided on the black mini skirt and sweater — you finally having an excuse for the fall outfit and lack of dress because it was october which has always been your favourite season and best time of year yet this year that didn’t apply because you haven’t been hardly able to enjoy it because of isolation you’d forced yourself into.

y/n had to swallow her own self pity down as she leaned over to her perfume bottle on the drawer next to her mirror as she took in the image of her body in the skirt. her shrinking body, a scoff leaving her lips as she wasn’t happy with what she saw in the reflection. she never could be. the aroma of the perfume not masking her feelings at all as she put on some dc martens paired with black tights. the perfect little outfit yet she was sure jean would be outshining her on that front. god she didn’t even wanna imagine logan’s eyes being locked onto jean tonight, the heart ache already unbearable to comprehend as she swallowed a lump that formed in her throat. that aching feeling hadn’t gone away since the start of knowing logan the way she did, maybe that was a sign from the people above about how destined it was.. or how not it was.

these muddled thoughts led her too some early drinking as if she wouldn’t be getting shitfaced later. pregaming alone which is a bit self pity full as she swallowed the burning liquor down her throat, the whiskey hitting her softly and slowly enough to give her the confidence to leave her room twenty minutes later for this party.

+ੈ✩‧₊˚

the decorations were perfect, the present corner was overflowing and the students and people were everywhere. jean being clearly the popular girl from the looks of this party, as if y/n already didn’t know that, as the blasting music just made her more aware of the scenario she was in as she fought the urge to look around the room for logan as she went straight over to the bar that had been made. the party was the perfect one a girl, woman, could ask for and y/n could feel the jealously bubbling already that she bit down as she forced a friendly smile to join her lips.

walking through the dancing groups of people, there hardly even being any spaces to walk unless you wanted to bump into a coked up or insanely drunk teenager or wade. who she was lucky to get past without having to talk to yet, no matter how much she did like and enjoy his company she couldn’t deal with his jokes right now which she could guess who’d they’d be centered around, she knew he knew to some extent she was just lucky he hadn’t out rightly said it. that would be too much pity for her to deal with, that coming from wade being another level of pathetic.

the second she leant against the bar she managed to grab the busy barmaids attention giving her a soft nod and polite smile as she didn’t notice the figure beside her as she asked for a coke and vodka.

“thank god you’re showing your face — i thought i was going to have to clone you to get a good conversation.” hank rolled out his tipsiness showing as he pulled y/n into a tight hug when he was sat down on the stool. y/n letting out a low chuckle as she hugged him back nicely, his presence being a little surprise she tried not to seem so bothered about.

“hiya hank.” y/n said softly as the barmaid came over with her drink, placing it next to her. “thanks.” y/n nodded out as hank placed his hand on the stool next to him as she immediately grabbed it and took a swig.

“come! sit.” he ushered in with a drunken smile on his face, a bright one as usual, as he patted the bar stool next to him inviting her to sit and before y/n could even speak up in reply as she slid down on the stool hank bit in.

“where the hell have you been?” he abruptly said bluntly, putting a little look on his face off one that’s pissed off as y/n felt the guilt rush through her as she wrapped her fingers around the glass drowning her truth in the drink as she took a big sip off the liquor acting as if that didn’t taste appalling as she shrugged her shoulders at hanks obvious question which has an obvious answer to that she’d play off as a stupid claim if questioned about it.

“—i’ve been busy! controlling powers— small missions, and that.” y/n lied out.

hank furrowed his eyebrows at his words, giving her a knowing look before he shook his head swiftly at what she said. seeing right through her little lie he truly knew nothing much about what the truth was or not as he took a little sip of his beer.

“i know you but i’m not pushing it— rather you bite of logan’s heads rather then mine.” hank said out lowly as y/n’s eyebrows furrowed at his comment as a look of confusion spread over her face at the mention of him but before she could question hank on it she was met with two hands around her waist, pulling her tightly back purposely.

“hello pretty little liars, you’re aria?” wade said loudly into her ear his drunkenness obvious as y/n scoffed, him clearly stating that because her outfit choice as he squeezed her even tighter y/n’s eyes rolling as she elbowed him playfully back as his hands on her faltered as he playfully shoved her back.

“—elsa! you made it snow yet?” y/n said back to him as she was met with the sound of his laughter as he pulled on the stool next to y/n, making the guy who was sat on it mutter a curse before wade sent him a glare and then went speed walking away clearly a boy as young as fourteen or thirteen who just got the shit scared out him for, wade’s harsh look as he sqt down on the stool as he met y/n’s gaze.

“you know i have honey.” he nodded out with a smirk as hank leaned into the twos space.

“shots anyone?” hank rolled out, fixing his glasses as wade enthusiastically said a quick yes, y/n adding to the fire. “—very much needed.” y/n drove out as wade sent her a little look of knowing yet he held back the urge to call her out on it. he was being a ‘good’ friend in his eyes anyway, he didn’t wanna hear her say things about logan when he knew a few things himself on how the other party felt.

hank calling the barmaid over as wade pulled y/n’s stool closer to his that knowing look still present on his face as he played with the knowledge he had a bit just in a little playful way.

“you seen the birthday girl yet?..gave her a gift?” wade said sarcastically knowing the two didn’t really see eye to eye on a LOT of things as y/n gave him a little glare, him having been present for many of their little disagreements.

“luckily i haven’t, as i’ve brung nothing.” y/n rumbled back as wade nudged her playfully with her words as hank grabbed the tray of shots from the barmaid— y/n’s eyes widening once she saw how many shots he had ordered. “fifteen?” y/n broke out with a raised eyebrow as hank chuckled as he took one, downing it straight away before grabbing another as wade spoke up cockily.

“who’s pants are you trying to get into?” wade rolled out, his voice sly as he grabbed two for himself as y/n leaned over and took one ready to get shitfaced, maybe that’d stop her mind from falling back onto logan every other second her longing heart internally hating this situation more and more as she yearned to see him but she bit back the urge to even look around for him. halting that urge by taking a shot.

“preferably anyone with a pulse and no dick between their legs.” hank said right as y/n took another shot, her nearly choking on the burning liquid which was a horrible mix of vodka and god knows what.

“i can tuck.” wade said lowly as this made it worse, y/n nudging wade, shaking her head as she held back her laugh as she swallowed the shot she just took. “disgusting!” she rolled out as she took another, downing it before placing the shot down on the table.

“ah! sweeties jealous.” wade spoke up sarcastically with that all familiar cocky smile on his face with that teasing glint in his eyes as he handed another shot y/n’s way as she took it gracefully as they all cheersed their glasses together. that being just one of the about eight times they did that within the next thirty to sixty minutes as y/n bit back her thoughts with copious amounts of shots and soon enough they had gone through a good four or so tray off shots and a few drinks each.

every passing minute y/n felt her mind get closer and closer to the edge as every time she felt that aching feeling grow she’d swallow it back with another sip of liquor or large shot — wades jokes passing the time and hanks yapping and her own occasional drunken chime in making her mind a mess as hank got another row of shots.

the songs and wade and hank’s voices becoming a blur in y/n’s mind as she swallowed nothing but the truth with those shots. every sip feeling like more heartache she couldn’t stop having.

+ੈ✩‧₊˚

y/n was practically stuck too the bar stool, her eyes scanning the crowd occasionally (by occasionally around five times if not more a minute) as she looked for him. her mind lingering on a certain someone as it always tended to do the liquor just amplifying those feelings as hank spoke up.

“you know— you look like your mum.”

his words caused y/n’s attention to snap over to hank as she raised an eyebrow, wade making a little ‘oo’ in the background even if he couldn’t help but agree with his comment as he sipped on the cocktail he had ordered a few drinks previously that had just been laying there on the side. the bartender making a fuck ton of profit from these three miserables.

“very dead?” y/n said sarcastically as hank gave her a little look — clearly a little annoyed she didn’t take the comment seriously as he leaned a little closer to her.

“beautiful you idiot.” hank added out, his words making her eyebrows furrow a bit as she took in his drunken words as she gave him a little a smile — swallowing the depreciating joke she was close to making as she took a sip of her drink.

“thank you hank.” y/n nodded out calmly as wade butted in.

“—fucking hell, incoming for angry jacob twilight wannabe.” wade cursed out as y/n’s gaze moved over wade following his eyes to where he was looking, her heart feeling as if it was flipping and twisting in her chest as she watched logan walk into the bar games room as she furrowed her eyebrows at the sight of jean following him angrily. her looking perfect as ever.

yet before y/n could think another thought she locked eyes with logan from across the room — their eyes meeting as she felt a weight lift immediately onto her as she swallowed a lump that formed in her throat at just the sight of him. it felt as if time has frozen just as they looked to each other , his eyes taking everything about her in as she did the same his way.

he practically immediately walked over, more like stomped over, as he seemed clearly agitated. more then usual as his eyes dawned onto wade and hank before resting back to y/n as he stopped in his tracks in front of the seated three.

“who thought getting a teenager shitfaced was a good idea?” logan nearly growled out, giving wade a glare as y/n’s eyes lingered back on jean who saw who he was talking to and turned away her being even more pissed then him, y/n holding the urge to go into her mind and find out why as she brung her gaze onto logan after seeing jean walk off somewhere else in the room, her patience clearly wearing thin. her wanting to make a little childish comment about how she wasn’t when wade spoke up.

“gods probably.” wade rolled out in reply as logan scoffed at what he said.

“y/n.” logan said, her eyes meeting his own as she took in his appearance. her eyes lingering on the chain that was wrapped around his neck — one he told her was something jean gave him when he first became an xmen, something he hasn’t worn in months, this fact only making her feel a number of horrible thoughts as she grabbed her drink and took a mean swig. swallowing her own building self pity as she forced a fake smile logan immediately knew to be fake.

“hi.” she said swiftly after she put her drink back down on the table — his eyebrow raising a little at her hostility as he looked to wade, hank the back to her.

“uh—“ logan spoke up, trying to find the words to say as he looked at her a bit lost for words at how she was acting as he swallowed a lump that had formed in his throat — feeling his frustration rise as he tried to control it, “where have you been?” he said lowly, hank raising his eyebrow at how this little conversation seemed weirdly tension filled. wade knew why, he could’ve called her little feelings for him back when she first met the guy but now he couldn’t help see how serious it was because off the way she was looking at him and how it was affecting her.

he couldn’t even brung himself to but in as he buried himself in his drink. hank doing the same.

“i’ve been busy. but i’ve been around— i saw you two days ago.” she said quickly, shifting in her seat a little as his eyes almost felt as if they burnt through her.

“you didn’t stay,” he said taking a pause as he looked at her, taking in just how intoxicated she seemed as he tried to analyse it, “like you uh- normally, do.”

his words touched a nerve on y/n as she felt that all familiar heart ache grow y/n trying to act as if the feeling inside her wasn’t killing her right now and ripping her to shreds as she kept her gaze on him, his eyes on her making her think and feel a number of things she hated.

“—had somewhere to be.” she replied quickly, his eyebrows raising at her bluntness to her reply as he knew something was off. he sensed it, the drunkness only adding to his worry as he went to step closer when he was cut off by a voice behind him.

y/n eyes dawned on the sight off jean, a tight silver dress on showcasing her curves as her red hair flowed down by her side as she looked at logan who hadn’t even brung himself to met her gaze yet. y/n immediately being hit with a truck load of insecurities just with a glance to the older women who had the only guy she’d ever loved wrapped around her finger.

y/n’s heart feeling as if it was stepped on as she kept her gaze on him — time feeling a little slow motion.

“logan—now.” jean said harshly.

“lo- logan.” she said again, y/n not leaving logan’s gaze as he swallowed his own spit as he eventually brung his gaze over to jean.

“logan— he knows.” she said harshly, her words a little quiet as they were clearly just meant for logan’s ears yet y/n heard them. “now! come on?” she questioned out frustratedly, saying that to grip his attention as logan looked to jean then back to y/n, wade and hank watching like it was a drama.

the air felt thick with some sort of something as y/n swallows, her eyes on him as he bit down on the inside of his cheek.

“be careful kid, remember to slow down.” he rolled out before he turned away with jean going right to her side as y/n scoffed as he walked off turning her attention back to the barmaid — not feeling logan’s eyes burning back to her as he took a long glance her way before disappearing off with jean into the party to sort whatever was happening.

y/n rolled her eyes the second she turned her attention back over to the bar as she looked down at the bar table, swallowing her thoughts down with the rest of her vodka as she felt the others eyes on her. they sensed on the tension — it was impossible not too.

“so they’re fucking again.” hank commented lowly and cluelessly. his words being like a gut punch to y/n as she bit down on her tongue as she called back over the barmaid, leaning over and ordering a couple shots as she sat back down in her seat.

“mm, most definitely.. hell for scott.” wade ushered out lowly, feeling a sense of guilt as he saw the way y/n’s eyes fell as y/n tried to mute out their conversation in the background as she welcomed the shots with open arms as she pulled the tray closer to her as she heard wade and hank whisper behind her as they leant over to gossip about the rumours of jean and scott being over as y/n’s heart felt as if it was plummeting and beating as fast as it ever had with every shot she took. the information she was hearing just making her internal pain grow worse as she tried to drink it away every shot seemingly enhancing her hurt as the metal images she were getting hurt her brain as she felt the urge to do something about it.

her mind full of relentless unlimited thoughts that were screaming at her as she placed the last empty shot glass she had down — the shots helping limit the voices to some extent as the barmaid came over and refilled them without another word most likely sensing her anguish as y/n nodded to her with as much of a smile she could muster up as she thought back to the conversation with logan.

“we’re going to dance— you coming?” wade spoke to y/n as that brung her out her gaze with the bottom of the shot glass as she shook her head, “no—thanks,” she slurred out as hank gave her a small nod and pat on the shoulder before they disappeared of into the crowd leaving her alone after saying their be right backs— her lips immediately around another glass as she finished the rest of the drinks thay were laid out in front-of her.

y/n either needed fresh air and a sick bucket or the man she loved and craved, and she was going with the latter. her desires only heightened which was making just about everything worse due to the mess the alcohol had started to cause her brain and body.

her heart pounding as she stood up, everything going messy and spin like as she stumbled through the crowd. her mind on one thing and one thing only, one person, as she got pushed around a bit by the dancing people as she made her way out the bar room she was in. her eyes searching the place as she looked for him in every corner, in every face, every person, every laugh, every grunt and every noise. she was searching for him like she had been doing within her heart ever since she’d know the man.

yet what she didn’t expect to see when she turned the corner was him right there. logan right there in his bubble of perfection as she saw it. her eyes taking him in as she saw him in the hallway — a smile joining her lips as she started to walk over to him planning what she was going to say in her brain. how she was going to do any of this? she didn’t even know what she had planned, she just wanted to speak to him. she needed to see his smile. she missed it. she wanted to make him laugh like usual, she wanted to kiss him, feel his touch. she needed it, it was destroying her to not have him. why was she ignoring him for the past two weeks? she should just tell him. nothing bad could hap—

“mine.” she swore she could make out logan saying, her eyebrows furrowing in pure confusion as she took one little step closer to where he was as her eyes dawned on a certain red head with a killer smirk on her lips as she had a tight grip on his chain.

and with that every thought she just had was crushed within the space of five or so seconds as she heard jean’s light hearted chuckle next, her voice grating against y/n’s mind as she swallowed her own spit back down as she made sure she couldn’t be seen by them. feeling the sick feeling rising in her as she watched logan’s hands wrap around jean’s waist as she pulled him closer to her in a teasing action that broke y/n’s heart in two.

she was frozen in her tracks, watching as the one she loved was with the one he loved.

“you’re mine.” ringing in her ears as she just made out what he had said to jean as his words sent a chill through y/n’s body as she felt the tears start to boil in her eyes as she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the scene. her mouth fallen gap as she watched as he roughly had her against the door jean’s hand going down to the handle of said door as y/n watched as jean pulled him in the room with her roughly.

the door slamming behind them as she felt her beating out her chest, her breath shaky and hitched as she swallowed.

and when she heard a little squeal come from the room over the music a few seconds or minutes later, she couldn’t tell how long had passed, that’s when she knew she needed to go before she turned into a public laughing stock as she turned on her heel — shakily making her way through the crowd again, unbeknownst to the tears dropping down her cheeks as she fought her way through the dancing crowd as she tried to get the hell out of here as she thought she was fighting back her emotions, yet she really wasn’t doing too good of a job with it.

“watch it!” someone yelled out over the music to y/n as she shuffled past them quickly, stumbling out and disappearing through the back door as she made her break for it. her heart feeling broken to an extreme it hadn’t felt before which was only amplified by the alcohol as she felt her brain chemistry formed for logan be destroyed within a matter of moments. seeing it in front of her own eyes being completely different from assuming it had happened.

the fact they were doing that right now she just couldn’t and didn’t want too comprehend it. it hurting her so much she felt as if she was going to be sick, she could feel it to the extremist point that when she managed her way to the end of the courtyard where her little spot was with her childhood swing set, where she’s surprised she even remembered the whereabouts off in this state, she couldn’t stop herself from leaning down into a bush shakily.

her mouth watering, her throat burning with liquid as y/n threw up into the bush her heart pounding ridiculously as she felt the tears burning against her cheek as she didn’t even notice the feeling off two strong hands holding her hair back. her body shaking as she kept being sick, feeling the acid burn her throat as she felt a strong hand round her hair pulling it into a ponytail and another hand around her fragile body to keep her up.

her body flinching a little at the touch as the person leaned a little closer as y/n was sick some more, “it’s okay—“ a low voice ushered out as y/n couldn’t help be sick again, leaning down closer into the bush nearly tripping into it as the person held her upright. their hand snacking onto her waist as y/n leaned back into their touch. basically tripping into it as she let out a shaky breath as she wiped her mouth with the sleeve of her top.

her eyes moving up onto an all familiar face and she instantly cursed in her brain as he managed to move her over to the swings, sitting her down in one of two seats as she clung to the chain of it leaning her body against it freely as she let out a little cry.

“you’re good.” scott said softly his voice low as he spoke into a comforting tone that didn’t completely soothe her as she felt the tears trail down her cheek as he kneeled down — his hands stabilising the swing that was rocking a little as he looked up at her making sure she was okay on the swing. the cold air hitting the twos faces as the moon shone down on the courtyard, the faint sound of pop music from the mansion being completely distant to both of them.

“scott.” she managed to say, him being able to tell how far gone she was by the way she slurred her words as if her crying and throwing up didn’t prove that enough. his eyes on her as he moved her hair out the way for her, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear as she held back a little sob which wasn’t held back that well as she let out a shaky whimper.

“w-why— doesn-t he love me?” she spoke out quickly, her breath shaky and her voice high pitched as she let out little sniffles in between words, the weight of those making a sad smile tug on scott’s lips as he kept his hand on her face trying to keep her upright which was sort of impossible as he kept his comforting warm hand against her face. just trying to make her feel okay.

“—he—“ scott cut himself off before he moved closer to her, trying to keep her calm, “he does love you okay?”

y/n shook her head at scott’s words as she let out a muffled sob against her wrist, shaking her head as scott wiped the tears from her cheeks. “not like i want him to.” she rolled out in a slur, scott feeling his heart beat quicken at her little admission as if he didn’t know how she felt over him before as he moved his finger across her cheek in a soft circular motion, his hand cupping her jaw.

“hey- he does okay?” scott said quickly as he moved her jaw down so she met his eyes again, his tone soft as he moved himself to the other swing next to her — the second he was sat him moving his swing closer to her own. tangling the chains of his swing up a little in doing so.

“he does.” scott added out again, y/n not believing him at all as she swallowed a lump that had formed in her throat as she leaned herself again the hand that was cupping her face as she nearly tumbled off the swing.

her biting down on her tongue as she let out a little squeal as scott placed his hand on her back supporting and holding her up as a little chuckle left her lips as she leaned forward a little. scott not letting his hand move as worry was evident on his face as y/n turned to him a sad smile on her lips, tears still evident on her face.

“i wish.” he heard her whisper as he swallowed, his own voice breaking a little, “come on. okay? he doesn’t know what he’s missing right now.— he doesnt see you liking him.” scott said softly, giving her a little playful nudge as y/n started to lose the energy to even speak off it as she felt another tear slip down her cheek.

his words were taking the weight off her shoulders as she moved in the swing a little, scott’s comforting hand on her back which was now sort off around her waist making her sure she wasn’t going to fall as she moved a tiny bit closer to him on her swing. their swings touching a little.

“you deserve better then jean-y bitch.” she managed out lowly, scott not being able to help the chuckle that escaped his lips at how she put it as he looked out at the mansion in front of them. the moon present in his red tinted glasses.

“yeah— i’m starting to realise that.” he chuckled out as y/n gave him a drunken smile in return as she locked eyes with scott. someone she’d hardly noticed was this nice mostly due to the words logan remarked about him all the time as her smile couldn’t help but grow as she looked at him. the air softening between the two as y/n felt tiredness fall over her as she leant against the chains a little as she slowly moved her gaze over to the moon.

a few moments of silence passes before scott spoke up.

“y/n?” scott managed out trying to grab her attention as he saw he eyes wondering a bit. his eyebrows furrowing when he heard no answer in return, her silence scaring him as he nudged her.

“y/n?” he quickly said out once again, nudging her a little as he saw how limp her body was and noticed her closed eyes.

“fuck— y/n.” he ushered out quickly as he stood from his seat and went right to her side as he kneeled down, tapping her face to try and catch her attention. y/n stirring a little at his action as he stood up, pulling her up with him as he placed his hand around her waist as he tried to shake her a little which did the job as her eyes fluttered open to meet his own.

a drunken smile joining on her lips as a tear dropped down her cheek that she didn’t even notice as she chuckled a little, leaning close to him as she swayed a little.

“scott.” she said lowly as scott gave her a low chucke as she placed her arm around him drunk on, him wiping the tear of her cheek softly something he’d done a number of times since being in her presence tonight.

“okay it’s time to go sleep— im taking you to bed.” he explained softly as y/n looked at him with a little furrowed brow as he started to walk, helping her walk alongside him her hardly even able to realise she was walking as she leaned against his touch.

“you’re good.” he said calmly to her as they walked through the dark courtyard, the illuminated by the moon field of grass between them and the bustling school /xmansion being the only light to guide them. his grip on her tightening softly when she nearly tripped over her own feet, a low chuckle escaping his lips as he realised just how long of a walk it was to the mansion. him sighing as he held her upright. “nearly there.” he muffled out as y/n leaned to him.

“—‘m gonna be sick.” she quickly flushed out before throwing her head over in the other direction as scott patted her back and stopped in his tracks at her words as she was sick again — him holding the urge got to be sick too because the smell as he focused on helping her. his heart skipping a beat bit as he felt his anger growing over logan putting her in this situation where she was so drunk she was being sick or the fact that she was being sick just thinking about logan it made his blood boil as he felt his jaw clench — his eyebrows twitching as he helped her get it all out, whispering little comforts as he soothed her back.

“good girl. “ he said lowly as y/n brung her gaze into him once more him giving her a small sad smile as he placed his hand back around her waist to guide her, “cmon, bed.” he whispered out to her as they started walking again. having to go through the party definitely going to be a difficult task as scott tightened his grip around her waist as they walked past a couple people hanging around the outside area of the building as the music met y/n’s ears as once they got into the building scott called for people to move out the way as he made y/n stay close to him. her eyes wondering over everyone in her drunken haze as scott helped her over to the staircase which was through a couple wide, filled rooms.

her swearing she came across wade and hank in the corner with two twins and colossus’s doing a certain something to wade, her eyebrows furrowing at what she believed to have just seen as she shook it off as she met scott’s words.

“you need to be carried or are you okay?” scott asked as if he was babying her which sent a wave of comfort through her body as she let the question hang in her brain as she tried to form answer to it as she leaned herself against scott.

“‘u—‘i can—“

“scarlett?” logan roughly called out in a raised voice towards scott as he came over out of nowhere. scott rolling his eyes as he quickly picked y/n up, y/n being in scott’s arms as her eyes fluttered open to see logan to the side of them. scott’s jaw immediately clenching as he continued up the stairs without cracking a word to logan as he rushed after the pair. his own anger frustratingly high as he tried to control himself and stop himself from doing anything stupid.

“scott?” logan said harshly, his anger growing as he didn’t get an answer as he tried to get the man to look at him.

“lo-“ y/n slipped out, her voice muffled as she leaned into scott’s arms more as he carried her bridal style up the stairs. her realising his presence, logan’s eyes casting onto y/n and then back to scott. his eyes darkening.

“what have you done to her?!” logan rushed out, his voice cracking with worry as scott ignored his words as he made it to the top of the stairs and continued on down to where he’s pretty sure her room is.

“scott!” logan shouted again trying to get his attention as scott opened the door with his back, giving logan a harsh glare as he walked right over to the bed where he placed y/n down carefully on it. her drunken self pouring the cover over her figure as she rolled over in bed. letting out a little muffled whimper as her head laid on the pillow.

the second scott having let go off y/n he immediately turned to logan scott not giving logan another chance to talk before he connected his fist with his jaw, logan been taken aback a little as he raised an eyebrow, scott looking right at him as logan pushed him back harshly.

“what the fuck did you do?” logan cursed out quickly, scott scoffing as he held back taking his glasses off because of the fact it was a party, not logan’s funeral even despite how much he wanted it to be.

“you should ask yourself that, prick.” scott said harshly. logan’s eyebrows raising at his words as scott pushed himself past logan without another word.

logan immediately grabbing scott’s arm harshly, his claws aching to come out as he met his gaze.

“what do you mean by that?” logan said quickly, his eyes locked onto scott’s as so many questions flowed his brain. his thoughts enlaced with y/n and the worry he had for the girl as scott harshly brung his hand back to his side after shaking logan’s grip off — giving logan a stern look as he looked him up and down judgementally, “god, you are so stupid. you’d think being born in the 19th century would make you slightly smarter then a twenty nine year old.” scott scoffed out lowly, his words only angering logan more as he shoved scott against the wall.

his claws extending as he pressed them close to his throat — his threat there as scott swallowed.

“tell me.” he said harshly as scott couldn’t help a certain look cross his face. completely frustrated by logan, his heart aching for jean in this moment as he stared at what she had clearly picked over himself that enraging him yet also y/n and what she had just gone through herself. the heart ache something he could relate too and he wouldn’t wish that on anyone. yet right now he would logan however.

“she saw you and jean you idiot. meaning i did too. meaning— fuck you.” scott said quickly as he clicked his visor getting the right aim, logan jumping back as scott lazered his chest. his beam going right through as a loud grunt escaped his lips as logan in immediate retaliation clawed scott in the side, scott pushing back the whimper threatening to leave his lips as logan as he got ready to take another shot at the man.

logan raising his eyebrow as the two stared eachother down, “i’ll heal,” logan rolled out his words only angering scott worse as he went to raise his glasses again as logan roughly placed his hand on his chest to stop him, his claws retracted back in.

“i wish you wouldn’t.” scott bit out harshly as logan scoffed at his words, keeping his anger limited as he rolled his eyes.

“jean only needed someone to talk too—“

“you mean fuck.” scott said out harshly, jean crossing logan’s mind as his jaw clenched his gaze darkening as he couldn’t bring himself to shake his head. not that he was thinking about scott’s feelings — right now his mind pondering on another.

scott saw how logan couldn’t even fight back with words — tutting as he pushed him back. logan’s hands falling to his side as the two didn’t break eye contact.

“you know we’re engaged.” scott spit out like venom, his words causing a look of surprise to wash over logan’s face as his mouth fell open, “well we were.” he added out.

“you were— what?” logan fumbled out, confusion written on his face as scott rolled his eyes at his reaction. not that he cared deep down, but it felt like he did right now.

“great.. she didn’t tell you. like she didn’t tell anyone,” he said lowly, “not that it makes it any better what you’ve done,” scott casted out as a few seconds finding passed as he tried to find the words which only come out anger filled, “she’s a caniving cheating bitch.” scott cursed out, logan not bringing himself to react to the words scott ushered about jean as he looked at scott.

logan was about to say something to scott when the sound of y/n’s soft little snores filled the room which made the tension even higher as scott and logan glared at eachother.

“maybe just think next time before you fuck someone else’s girl, again.” scott managed out as he pushed past logan to leave the room.

“i don’t think she’s your girl.” logan called back out before he left as scott’s jaw clenched at his words as he opened the door.

“not anymore. you can have her.” he said harshly as he paused as he knew he had to say something.

“—just think about how y/n feels, because i know hurts.” scott spoke lowly as he left without another word clearly implying a certain fact.

logans heart skipped a beat at his words as the door shut behind scott, his mind feeling as if it was in a war as the tension built in the room immediately. the air feeling thick as he swallowed his own spit not bringing himself to call something back to him as his words couldn’t even bring themselves to form right in his brain yet alone out loud.

his eyes dawned back onto the sleeping girl y/n laying there. looking so soft and innocent, completely sound asleep and his heart couldn’t help twang a little as he bit down on the inside of his cheek — many bustling thoughts cursing his brain as he wished he had never thought of them.

his mind lingering on the thought of jean and what just occurred within him and scott as he came down from the pain that was inflicted on him his chest rising rapidly to a more normal flow as he healed. as he focused his gaze on y/n as he furrowed his eyebrows over what scott had said, trying to wrap his brain around it.

logan’s eyes dawning on y/n. guilt seeping through him as he felt his heart gain that aching feeling y/n had been riddled with since the day she first realised she was in love with the man as he sat on the foot of the bed. his mind feeling melted as he placed his hand on her own his big, gruff and rough feeling hand taking the soft touch of her hand into his own grip. her hand being half if not less of his size as he soothed her. her touch being another level of comfort he didn’t recall experiencing since he was a young boy that feeling sending memories flooding through his brain he couldn’t focus on now.

feeling all the emotions boiling up he’d been fighting to push down as he looked down at her asleep body. what was all of this? she had been distant, almost rude and very cold and scott’s words were making that why question he had on his mind for the past two weeks clearer.

the implication of scott’s words hung in his mind as he looked at her. him eventually bringing himself over to the spare place next to her in the bed not wanting to leave her alone for the night too worried about how drunk she was and if anything could happen in the night.. or anyone else drunkily walking in. but he couldn’t help deep down in knowing that those were just excuses to stay within her presence. asleep or not.

carefully building a gap between the two of them as he laid down — no matter how strong the urge to hug her and comfort her was — as he let out a rough exhale as he closed his eyes.

only to open them three seconds later to look at her. his eyes not leaving her peacefully asleep body for the rest of the night.

[missmimii]

୨ৎ －𝐑𝐈𝐁𝐁𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐎𝐏𝐒 | 𝐌 - 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐎

♡︎ － 𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 | In which the reader uses her artistic skills to make herself a new top takes a turn for the worse when it ends up ripping during a family dinner. Or maybe for the better..

୨ৎ — 𝐂𝐖. None! Maybe a teensy bit suggestive, but mostly a whole lot of tooth rotting fluff ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

𝒩ℴ𝓉ℯ𝓈 －I fear this may not be what I intended it to be, but I’m just going with the flow

✃－Y/n remembered the exact moment she fell in love with art, like it was the back of her manicured hand. It was an indescribable adoration that she failed to linked to any particular emotion, none of which fitting the description for just how much loved it. The girl’s eyes would twinkle as she stared up at ethereal art pieces that hung in museums, her hands would shake until giving up when she sewed new fabrics, and even still, she gazed at the work like it was everything.

✍︎︎－This love for all kinds of creativity carried throughout the girl’s entire life, and career. She’d always considered it a spectrum, there was so many things that could be considered art. Drawings, paintings, cinematography, music, and even clothes. And even though sometimes she lacked confidence in her own artistic abilities, Matt was always there to support her along the journey.

✃－A safety pin sat between the girl’s two plump lips, eyebrows knitted together with concentration as she looped the sewing needle through the soft fabric. Her finger tips ached from the tight grip she had on the darn thing, wrist shaking ever so slightly as she finished off the loop with a cross switch. Finally. Shoulders falling with relief, she gently sat the shirt back onto her small desk.

✍︎︎－Just as she plucked her dressmakers scissors from aside her, two soft knocks were placed on the already cracked open door. “It’s just me,” A hand wrapped around the edge of the door, Matt’s head poking in as took in the sight of his girlfriend in her zone. “you’ want me to come back later?” He asked, taking a step back before he even could finish his sentence.

✃－“Hey－” the door creaked open again, making the girl giggle. “I’m basically done.” Matt threw a sheepish smile her way before pushing the door open with a gentle nudge of his hand. Her two hands rested behind her on the table as he approached her, looking a little too happy to see her. “Hey baby.” The boy murmured, hands cupping her cheeks. The girl’s eyes fluttered shut as he pressed his lips to hers in a chaste kiss, pulling away not long after.

✍︎︎－She let out a hum of happiness, the girl’s eyes swam with gratitude as he peered up at him. “Hey you.” She mumbled with a smile tugging at her lips, playfully poking his chest. Matt tilted his head down at the girl with a lopsided grin, dodging the touch with a huff of amusement. “Someone’s happy.” He chuckled.

✃－He watched as her smile grew bigger at the remark, rubbing his calloused thumb against her cheekbone. “Mhm,” lifting a eyebrow, he watched as she brushed off his touch, turning around. The triplet let out a small grunt of surprise, her jean covered backside pushing into his clothed front as she bent across the table. What was she － “Ah~” She hummed, a hand snatching a tiny pair of scissors.

✍︎︎－Matt watched as she shuffled around with a few items, all of which he’d only knew the names of because of his girlfriend. That’s .. that’s a marking pen, a seam ripper － maybe not. Okay －maybe not off the top of his head, but he knew some things. The girl’s newfound interest in designing was something that he’d have to research more before commenting on, but with the rate she was working at, he was sure he’d know every term within mere days.

✃－The room dedicated to her projects, in his house, was usually reserved with more artsy objects. Which if he’d repeated in front of the girl, he’d end up getting lectured on how almost everything is art. But to Matt, art was drawings, or paintings －maybe even some music. Not that he’d ever tell her that. So when he saw boxes upon boxes of ribbon and satin fabric being delivered to his house, you could say he was shocked. to say the least.

✍︎︎－Matt’s one hand ran up and down her side as she toyed with a few foreign objects, tilting his head in interest as he watched he lift the main piece. “Ta’ dah’!” The girl mused softly, holding up a cream white top, pink ribbons adorning the underside of the breast area. Matt’s eyebrows drew up in surprise as he observed the clothing article, pride filling his chest. My girl did that. “Wow, dolly.” Reaching out a hand, he rubbed the soft material between his fingers.

✃－His girlfriend practically shook with excitement, having been waiting weeks to show the now finished product. “And look,” turning the top, it revealed the open back, ribbon crisscrossed in a corset like manner. Cute. Matt thought to himself, knowing it’d look even better on her beautiful body. “You’ likeee?” She drawled out, withholding a giggle of glee.

✍︎︎－Tearing his gaze from the shirt, he watched she tipped her head upward, their faces upside down to each other as she stood facing away. “I love it, pretty.” That smile －he watched as it grew, splitting across her pink lips with excitement as her hands shook ever so slightly out of pure joy. “Almost as much as I do you.” He murmured, pressing his lips to her forehead.

✃－Peacefulness soothed through her body at the loving gesture, the girl’s eyes fluttering shut as his arms slowly weaved around her shoulders from behind, lips still pressed to the skin of her forehead. Placing peck after peck down the span of her forehead, down the bridge of her cute nose, till his lips met hers. Matt’s arms loosely caged around her neck, one hand slowly gliding down her chest from behind.

✍︎︎－She playfully rolled her eyes as she felt him palm over her one breast, breaking away from the kiss for a moment. “What’re －” she let out a sound of surprise as he almost immediately forced his lips back to hers, a laugh leaving her lips. “got it.” She murmured into the kiss, Matt’s hand slipping down to her belly. Running his tongue along her bottom lip as a silent plea for her to part her lips, she complied without hesitation. Though, she did love a good fight for dominance. As his tongue slid past her lips, she gently nipped at the tip.

✃－The male grunted at the contact, eyes opening with reluctance. “Brat.” He mumbled against her lips, lips twitching as he heard her giggle.

♡︎－ His girl．

✃－ Yelping, the girl spun around with a glare on her face as she felt yet another swat against her bottom. “You,” Matt nonchalantly leaned on his counter, eyes wide as he held up his hands in defence. “Not’ me.” She narrowed her eyes on the boy, before flicking them down to the washcloth in his hand.

✍︎︎－Matt let out a small gasp as his girlfriend’s hand reached out, swiftly snatching the stained cloth from his hand. “Hey－” he stepped forward, watching as she tucked the towel behind her back with a devious smile on her perfect lips. “I have to do dishes.” The triplet excused, half-grinning as he put his hands on his hips. “unless you want to do them－” Her face fell.

✃－She looked into his eyes for a solid ten seconds, tongue poking inside her cheek as she glared. Ugh. “Slap my ass again,” She grumbled, shoving the cloth into his chest with petulance. Swat. “Matt!” She hissed, reaching behind her to shield her backside from his hand as he slapped it, again. Matt’s head tilted back, chest shaking with chuckles as he stumbled back. “Your parents are here!” She whispered embarrassedly, looking around.

✍︎︎－He continued to laugh, shaking his head while his cheeks turned red. It was not funny. She stomped forward with one step, slapping his chest. “You told me to!” He argued, laughing even harder. “I was warning you －stupid.” She tried to sound angry, so damn hard. But eventually she broke the facade, rubbing her jaw as she felt her lips tip up. “Ah ah－” Matt tutted pointing an accusing hand at her.

✃－The exposure only increases her amusement, chest moving with small laughs as she covered her mouth with the back of her hand. Matt stalked forward, carefully tugging her hand away from her face. “You’ angry, doll?” She nodded her head, more giggles eliciting from her lip. “Yes?” Matt mused, lifting an eyebrow as he tilted his head down at her. “Cause those little laughs say somethin’ different, baby.” She shook her head, still trying to cover her large smile.

✍︎︎－The male pried her hand away, his own lips breaking into a huge grin as he saw her foolish little smile, laughs lulling off of her tongue. “My angry baby.” He murmured, grabbing her cheeks in one hand as he condescendingly shook her head back & forth, still smiling as he slammed his lips to hers. Matt’s hand ran down her jaw as she melted into the kiss, moaning softly.

✃－Matt’s free hand slid down to her neck, rubbing his palm over the mantra of her pulse, before it trailed down her side, squeezing the dip of her waist in a clingy embrace. The girl giggled into the kiss, avoiding the touch. “Stop.” The triplet smiled, mumbling a small ‘nuh uh’. His fingertips brushed her side, making the girl laugh. “What?” Matt murmured against her lips, her hands pushing against his chest. “that tickle?”

✍︎︎－ “Yes!” He chuckled at her addictive giggle, bringing the hand back to her face, tucking stray hairs behind her one ear. “That’s my bad, baby.” His girlfriend just rolled her eyes, grinning softly as he blinked up at him with a resting comfort. He was so .. Matt. The girl wasn’t fond of change, but he could change himself ten times over and she’d still be the happiest girl to live, by his side.

✃－She’d noticed the tone of his mood had immediately shifted the second they hopped off the plane to Boston. He was home. And other than being with her, home was the happiest place for Matt. He swung the keys to the rental car around his index finger while him and his brothers approached the vehicle, one arm draped over the girls shoulder as he smiled at nothing.

✍︎︎－And while she’d met his parents on more than one occasion, the girl felt a little nervous on how they’d perceive her now. After all, she wasn’t the poster girl for an amazing girlfriend. She stuttered when she was brought up in conversation abruptly, chit-chat wasn’t never her strong suit, and a solo career may not have seemed like a great job to most parents. But with these ‘flaws’, she made up for with just how much she loved Matt.

✃－ “Good job setting the table, you two.” Matt and his girlfriend pulled away from each other as a familiar voice spoke up, Chris, alongside the eldest triplet, walking into the dining room. Matt threw the youngest a little glare, tugging the girl closer to him. “Fuck off, Chris.” Chris being－ Chris, mocked his brother, mumbling a squealy ‘Fuck off, Chris’. The girl blew out a small laugh as Matt place his head into the crook of her neck, murmuring a small. “I don’t sound like that.” Her baby.

✍︎︎－She and him proceeded to set the table, per Marylou’s request, the couple sneaking soft touches, and quick kisses whenever they squeeze past each other. Chris and Nick saw their miniature rendezvous from their place on the couch, the youngest resisting the urge to faux gag, knowing that Matt would probably throw a glass at him. Nick silently admired, happy that his brother had found the peace he deserved.

✃－Mwa’. The girl pulled away with a small snort, a hand placing on the dinner table as she felt tempted to laugh at the male’s action. “Stop doing that.” Matt hummed, tipping his head to the side as he giggled. “Doing what?.” She rolled her eyes, reaching across the table to place the last fork on the placement mat. “You’re not supposed audibly kiss someone.” She murmured, blowing a few hairs from her lips as she spoke.

✍︎︎－Matt came up behind her, placing two of his hands on her lower waist. “I’m not ‘audibly kissing’ anyone, I’m audibly kissing you.” He mumbled, his hands gliding up to run over her adorable little top. She’d ended packing the shirt, knowing that she probably would’ve regretted not. Bows and ribbon crisscrossed the back, revealing small spans of her soft skin. The shirt wasn’t even scandalous, and still, he wanted to bend her over the table, fuck her while pressing small pecks to the openings of satin.

．．．．．．

✃－ “－and the whole thing just fuckin’ exploded.” The giggled around the edge of her glass, listening to Nick tell his parents the story of how Chris had shaken his drink prior to handing it to him. Chris leaned back in his seat, a grin on his lips as he threw back the remaining Pepsi in his can. “You deserved it.” The eldest threw him a glare, shooting ready to bolt across the table.

✍︎︎－Matt sat aside her, his hand resting innocently on her thigh, thumb running up and down her soft skin every now and then. The girl taken notice of Matt’s lack of conversing, but payed no mind as she watched her boyfriend happily nod and listen to everyone else with content. It wasn’t unusual for him to be this quiet, nor did she immediately label it as him being ‘upset’. She waited, and waited, up until she found one particular sign that he was acting the way he was.

✃－Like the current for example, though he was keeping to himself and opting to keep his talking to a minimum, she could still tell that he was in a good mindset. Matt’s hand would softly squeeze her thigh every now and then, shooting her a little smile when she looked up. The triplet’s eyes practically swooned as they met hers, love glittering in the blues.

✍︎︎－Marylou stood halfway, her hand reaching out the grab the salt shaker that sat beside Nick and Chris, who bickered to no end. “Oh －I got it!” The girl shot in, Marylou sending her a warm smile as she leaned across the table, swiping the salt from the surface before placing it in the woman’s hand. With her eyebrows drawn together with confusion, she slid back down into her seat, feeling a large hand glide up her back. “Baby,” She turned her head in Matt’s direction, seeing his eyes widened. “Your shirt －”

✃－Huh? Her own hand reached behind her, sliding up her back. What －her jaw went ajar as her hand came in contact with the bare skin, no ribbon or material felt as she palmed around the area. “It must’ve came undone, or something－” Matt rambled in an undertone, cutting himself off as he realized the overwhelming state his girlfriend was in. Shit. “Hey,” He placed a hand on her jaw, tipping her chin in his direction. “look at me.” He watched as her breathing picked up, one hand shaking softly as she brought it up to the one of his that held her jaw, placing it atop his as she seaked comfort

✍︎︎－ “It’s gonna’ be fine, doll.” He whispered, nodding his head a bit as she shook hers. “yes it will－I’ll make sure it is.” Matt’s eyes flicked around the dinner table, everyone too caught up in either bickering or conversing to notice him and his girlfriend’s current dilemma. He turned back to her, seeing her eyes glaze over with incoming tears. “You’re gonna’ stand, and I’ll come up right after you.” No. She immediately shook her head.

✃－It was too risky she thought. His parents probably didn’t even like her as it is, and now this? God, why did she have to wear the stupid top －“Y/n.” Matt snapped, her stressed movements immediately coming to a halt he leered into her with a sharp gaze. “It’s okay,” he reassured softly, running his thumb along the underside of her bottom lip. “do you think I’d let you go topless in front of my entire －”

✍︎︎－Her one hand slapped over his mouth, cheeks tinting red with embarrassment. “Okay, okay!” She whisper hissed, eyes flicking back to his after looking around the table. “Tell me when.” Matt lifts a brow, we didn’t have time for a countdown, he thought. “Now.” Now?! The girl’s eyes flew open, staying in her exact place. Rolling his eyes, he chuckled a bit while standing up, one hand sliding down her waist from below, pulling her up with one final tug. “Upsie’ daisy.” He murmured against her jaw, placing a playfull kiss on the skin.

✃－The couple waddled around the corner of the dining room, his chest pressed to her back until they were free from his family’s eyes. “Oh my god, oh my fucking god－” The girl ran her hands down her face, distressed as Matt closed the washroom door behind the two. Matt ran his tongue over his teeth, finding himself oddly attracted to her back of all places. “I can’t believe this is happening to me.” She whispered, elbows falling onto the sink counter as she leaned over with a groan.

✍︎︎－Matt on the other hand, found himself lost in his own little world as his eyes glued onto her back. With every inhale the faint outline of her lats would appear, the soft skin painted with a hue of pink due to the overload of sun she’d gotten at the beach, a week prior. Her waist .. Matt’s adams apple bobbed he saw the dip between her hips, just above her perfect ass. Faint freckles littered across the surface, begging to be kissed as he buried himself in her from behind.

✃－The girl let out a sigh after ending her sentence, narrowing her eyes as she was met with silence. “Matt?” Her head lifted from the cold counter, looking at the male through the mirror. Again, silence filled the air as she watched Matt lift a hand to his jaw, running his palm across the curve. “Hm?” Finally, his eyes drew from her ass, meeting her gaze through the mirror.

✍︎︎－She rose a brow of accusation. “Did you hear anything I just said?” Matt bit down on his bottom lip, a smirk cursing his lips as he softly shook his head. She rolled her eyes with a soft groan, head dropping into her arms again. “What do I dooo?” Her voice came out muffled while her lips pressed to her forearm.

✃－He cocked his head in contemplation for a second, humming softly as he pressed a hand to his girlfriend’s back, her head snapping up. “C’mere.” Matt mumbled, guiding the girl up gently. Her shoulders were tensed in embarrassment, a little frown upon her lips as she straightened her body. His finger tips brushed the girl’s shoulders as he gently slid the shirt down her shoulder, a gasp eliciting her lips. “Matt.” His eyes fell to her’s through the mirror, momentarily flicking to her hands that pressed to her chest, holding the top up. “Put your damn hands down.”

✍︎︎－Her head tilted with a huff of amusement, but complied, seeing Matt’s jaw go slack as it fell from her now bare chest. “What’s got you in such a mood?” She mused, the males eyes darkening as she sent her boyfriend a flirtatious smile. “Always a brat.” Matt murmured, feeding his bottom lip into his mouth as his eyes took in the sight of her tits, now free of clothing. God, his hand twitched with the temptation of palming over his semi. But he didn’t, he wouldn’t. Not when she was so stressed.

✃－Matt’s hand reached over his own shoulder, seeing his girlfriend’s perfect nose scrunch a bit as he lifted the graphic tee from his own back. “What are you ..” Her voice trailed off, swallow thickly at the sight of Matt’s bare chest as he shook his brown head of hair, the shirt he wore now in his hand.

✍︎︎－The girl’s breath got caught in her throat as he slid a hand around her waist, flattening his warm palm against the skin of her stomach. “I love everything about you,” he murmured softly, her eyes softening as the words lulled from his tongue. “your voice, your lips,” his breath fluttered against the shell of her ear, a mischievous glint in his blue eyes as he nipped at soft skin. “your tits.” Of course. She jokingly rolled her eyes. “Mostly just you though.” Mostly? She thought, inwardly laughing.

✃－She felt her heart pang slightly as his touch left her belly, his two hands straightening out the head of his larger tee shirt. “This should do for now, hm?” She nodded, tipping her head up a little so he could tug the soft fabric over hide head. “What will you wear?” His lips twitched, her muffled voice coming from inside the top as he pulled it over her head. Matt nudged her around to face him, her face scrunched with discomfort as little hairs combed across her eyes and lips. “I’ll grab one from my old room.” He whispered softly, tucking the hairs behind her ears as he observed down at her with a look of adoration.

✍︎︎－Not that the male would ever admit it, but he found himself liking her in this shirt a lot more. It did nothing to showcase her perfect body, the body that despite she criticized often, Matt would remind her that it was just for her. It was a gift that his eyes got to lie upon such a beauty, and god he’d be sinning to say he didn’t thank the lord for allowing him to every damn day. Falling down, the hem hit just mid thigh, covering the denim shorts she wore. Matt saw the glimmer of her beaded bracelet, the small ‘M’ gem taking him back to the day they’d made it.

✃－His little artist, he almost cooed to himself. How did he get so lucky? The moment sun shone through his curtains in the morning, his waking thought was always her. I wonder if she’s awake, maybe I should wake her, god she looks so cute when she’s asleep. Though, not nearly as adorable she was fully woken. That gorgeous smile, the pure beauty and warmth her presence brought to the entire household the minute her lips parted to speak.

✍︎︎－Matt blinked himself from the inner trip up in his own mind, swallowing thickly as he looked down at his girl. “No more ribbon tied tops?” The girl’s lips curved upward at the words, giggling with a bob of the head. “No more ribbon tops.” On her tippy toes, she pressed a chaste kiss to the triplet’s lips, breathing out a soft moan as his one hand slid down to palm at her backside.

♡︎－ Matt smiled while cupping her cheeks, pulling away after seconds while the tip of his nose grazing hers. “My own little piece of art.” Because lord, if she wasn’t painted across every inch of his brain.

𝒯𝒶𝑔𝓈 － Taglist! － @fratbrochrisgf @jetaimevous @sturnstvr @sturnrc @stonermattsgf @imwetforyourmom

[hooked-on-elvis]

LISTENING TO ELVIS' SONGS WITH HEADPHONES IS THE BEST FEELING EVER 😭🥹

The other day I was listening to this song on speakers, and this is a song that touches me deep, but right now I'm listening to it in my headphones and like… SHIT! It feels like he's singing it just to me. His voice echoing in my brain is like the best sound I've ever heard.

I specially recommend you to listen to his early career songs (Sun Records era) and the takes from recording sessions from all his career (50s, 60s and 70s) with headphones, if you enjoy a more intimate experience with Elvis' songs.

--

I just remembered @cherrycolaride mentioned "Are You Sincere" as an awesome song to listen to with headphones in her blog, a few days ago. I knew the song already, and how I'm used to listen to Elvis' songs with headphones I knew how much this one is intense. So I just had to listen to it again now... thanks for that, dear. ♥ — (gosh, you can hear the wet sounds of his mouth moving!!! that's intense... that's what we're talking about).

That's why the takes from recording sessions are also indescribably amazing to listen with headphones on, because there's the music and there's also Elvis speaking, laughing, just being silly (many times naughty too) inside the recording studios - all of that right into your ears is like having a taste of being in his presence. HEAVENLY.

--

Oh, fan tip: For those moments you really want to feel Elvis' voice as intimate as possible, enable stereo mode. It creates a more realistic and immersive listening experience. The isolated sound channels really can give you an even more up-close sensation to the music (that's how I feel). I feel like I'm in a rehearsal, inside a room, sitting next to Elvis. Really, it sounds like he's right by your side singing. Of course the instruments feel more intense too on stereo mode. Chills, chills, chills…! 🫠

Okay, just one more song to mention because I'm crying like a baby listening to it now... From my favorite Elvis album:

Takes

[miharuki]

Yandere Dark Link with Shadow Zelda like S/O however the Shadow S/O can change appearance such as hiding from him and sometimes taunting him.

your wish is an order! But again remembering, sorry for my bad English, and I'm trying to get something more real and more horror :P

(problematic obsession, blood (if you squint), madness, I tried to do as much as I remembered from Legend of Zelda)

𝖄𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖗𝖊 𝕯𝖆𝖗𝖐 𝕷𝖎𝖓𝖐 𝖂𝖎𝖙𝖍 𝔖/𝔒 𝕷𝖎𝖐𝖊 𝕾𝖍𝖆𝖉𝖔𝖜 𝖅𝖊𝖑𝖉𝖆 𝕭𝖚𝖙 𝖂𝖍𝖔 𝕮𝖆𝖓 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖌𝖊 𝕾𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖊

𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐅𝐈𝐂 (𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑟𝑡)

Headcanon and Fanfic (in a more realistic way)

"I believe that Dark Link would have a greater interest in their significant other if they could shapeshift; their obsession would be intensified. Furthermore, I believe that now Dark Link would be more cautious with their significant other, always keeping an eye on them 24/7 to avoid being deceived. Additionally, I think Dark Link would use their significant other's shapeshifting abilities for themselves (cough, perhaps to confuse the original Link)."

Dark Link, a distorted reflection of Link's inner darkness, has always been drawn to the enigmatic Shadow S/O. This mysterious figure, resembling Zelda but with the ability to change appearance at will, was a constant source of fascination and obsession for him.

The ever-changing appearance of the S/O was both a blessing and a curse for Dark Link. It kept him on edge, always searching for the true form behind the shadows. At times, they would appear as a hauntingly beautiful vision of his ideal partner, seducing him with their charm and grace. Other times, they would transform into grotesque and terrifying forms, causing his heart to race with a mixture of fear and despair.

Dark Link's obsession grew with each encounter, his love becoming more distorted and maddening. He scoured the dark corners of Hyrule, desperate to find his indescribable S/O. He would face monsters and solve puzzles, all in the hope of capturing their hearts and preventing them from escaping once again.

If S/O attempted to escape using their powers, I believe Dark Link would become even more intense in this situation, likely marking some part of their S/O with a hot iron branded with his initials (those of a cow and with magic to last longer). This way, if they changed their form, Dark Link would know who his S/O was and to whom they belonged. Dark Link's obsession had blinded him to the danger of this twisted romance. He was willing to do anything to keep Shadow S/O by his side, even if it meant resorting to darker and more violent methods.

Dark Link was consumed by jealousy and despair. His desire to keep S/O by his side had turned into an insatiable hunger. He would leave dark gifts in hidden corners of their world, signs of his affection and devotion, but S/O always seemed to elude him.

Dark Link's obsession had reached a detrimental level to his health. He could feel the seductive presence of his beloved Shadow S/O, but he never knew when or how she would manifest. It was a tantalizing dance of love and madness from which he couldn't escape.

One night, as the moon cast mysterious shadows on the forest floor, Dark Link heard the gentle melody of a song. It was an eerie tune that touched his heart, and he followed the sound to a clearing. There, bathed in moonlight, was his beloved in the form of a radiant Kokiri girl.

"Ah, my dear," Dark Link whispered, his red eyes fixed on her. "You've finally come to me."

Shadow S/O smiled shyly, her form shifting slightly. "Maybe, but can you catch me?" she teased, disappearing into the shadows.

Dark Link's heart raced as he pursued her, the thrill of the chase intensifying his obsession. The forest seemed to conspire against him, with branches reaching out to slow his progress and twisted roots causing him to stumble. He could hear her laughter echoing through the trees, maddening and intoxicating.

Finally, he cornered her in a moonlit clearing. She appeared as a captivating Gerudo woman, her eyes filled with fear and desire. "You've won," she said breathlessly. "I surrender to your love." Dark Link, consumed by his passion, embraced her tightly, swearing eternal devotion. He pressed his lips to hers…

(I was in class when I wrote this, sorry if it's bad XD)

[mcondance]

SHE — OJ HAYWOOD

"she, (she), she lives in daydreams with me, she's the first one that i see"

pairing oj haywood x Black! afab fem!reader

summary oj's stoic demeanor is long gone when he makes love with you.

contents oral (fem receiving), rlly rlly passionate lol, unprotected sex, praise but like.. in a very oj way, belly bulge but make it so fucking romantic, reader and oj are fucking whipped omg, creampie let's go, it's actually insane how in love they are like woah am i interrupting something..? coded language (core, clit), reader has afab! parts but there's no pronouns used

words 1.5k

notes reupload from my old blog. i wrote this in like one day. oj's just my silly little stoic man with a heart of pure gold. pls listen to "she" by harry styles while reading this omg. ignore the lyrics tho cause i only rlly relate the chorus and the sound of the song to this fic and to oj cause it's just one of them songs.

.

.

.

oj’s so good at making love to you.

he’s good from the beginning. good as he grinds against you slowly, kissing you just hard enough to leave you breathless but also wanting more. good when he pulls your shirt off along with his, eyes taking in your lack of a bra. good when he kisses down your body, pulls your shorts and underwear down your legs, leaving kisses on your thighs. 

he’s almost reverential with the way he handles you, the definition of passion as he spreads you open for his worshiping eyes, dips right down and licks a stripe up your core. he lets you squirm, knows just how fucked out you get when he goes down on you.

he moves up to focus on your clit, already puffy and aching to be touched. he doesn’t deny you any pleasure, slips his mouth around you clit and sucks, licking with it still in his mouth. your hands find his head to pull him closer and he just lets you, lets you damn near use him. 

he doesn’t mind. he never does.

even as your hips begin to move against his tongue, he keeps his movements steady, a low groan of “mhm, that’s right” leaving his mouth, nodding against you and sending waves of honey-like ecstasy through you. 

it’s always so maddening, endorphic, borderline insane when he goes down on you, sweet pleasure trickling through your veins until you’re like putty in his hands, hips barely able to continue their rocking motions against his determined tongue. no matter, though, he takes over when it gets to be too much, when your body can’t keep up with what he’s done to you. 

soft moans of his name slip past your lips and he knows what you mean, knows all too well that you’re about to reach that precious peak that he’s so willing to throw you off of. fingers join his tongue on your clit, rub in tight circles with the skill of a man you’ve known for years.

he lives for this, for this feeling ordained by the gods above. lives for the way your thighs close around his head, the way your hands try and fail to find purchase in his short curls. he loves making love to you in so many different ways, the knowledge that he’s yours and you’re his, that he is making love to you, makes his mind feel indescribably perfect. 

“oj, ‘m gonna—”

“i know, baby. you got it.” it’s a low murmur, paired with another nod and just a little more pressure on your clit with his tongue and fingers. he knows you like the back of his hand. he knows your whines, your whimpers, your short little breaths that he only hears right before you—

“you’re good, baby. give it to me.” and you do. hips roll over and over again against him, meet his dutiful moves against you, send you higher and higher and impossibly higher, until you’re not sure you’ll ever come down. you float like a fucking bird, wings lifted with the air of oj’s masterful, almost adoring, motions. it’s always like this, always so fucking sweet , mind-numbingly so. the saccharine pleasure drips throughout your veins, his soft groans of affirmation drifting to you as you lay suspended in the blissful madness he’s given you.

you come for oj in a way that’s so different, because the way in which he makes love to you is so different. and you love it.

you love it as he slows down to a stop, kisses your shaking thighs and fluttery stomach, making his way up to your softly heaving chest. he continues his pursuit, lifting up until your lips connect, transferring your taste to your lips. any other time, this would be filthy, the sharing of your taste on his tongue. but now, it’s so right, fits in perfectly with the way oj handles you. 

your hands make their way to the waistband of his jeans, pull the denim down along with his boxers and he finishes the job for you. you feel him, hard and heavy against your thigh, so turned on from just pleasing you. it’s always a gratifying experience, knowing that it’s you that makes him this way. no matter his exterior— the stoic cowboy, preferring horses over people, chooses his words carefully as though he’d die if he spoke too much— he loves you. you are the tear in his heart, that one thing that breaks down his walls. 

and you feel it when he entraps your lips in another kiss as you reach down between you two and line him up with your entrance as he groans at your touch, and he slides in with one smooth stroke, your body always open to him. you both can’t break the kiss for him to do anything other than thrust oh-so softly, movements barely there. but it’s enough, god it’s more than enough, because every touch, every fluttery glide of his hips against yours is like fucking magic, the shared love between you two heightening everything tenfold.

this is how oj makes love to you. face to face, your legs coming up to wrap around his waist as he pushes into you slow and deep, hits every single spot you need him to. he’s calculated with his moves, like he is with everything, hands balancing him above you as his chain bumps your chin with every forward stroke. kisses broken are reciprocated just as quickly, mere milliseconds separating every one. 

“you're so good, baby.” it’s genuine, his brain blanked and grasping for words to describe the feeling you always give him. whines meet him in response, you’re too far gone to manage anything else.

this feels almost criminal, the pureness of his love, reflected in his every move, in every kiss he places against your lips. his every thrust is on purpose, is meant to drive you wild, to somehow translate his love for you into something tangible. and it works. you feel it, feel what you know is impossible for him to say. 

you don’t speak much, dirty talk reserved for times other than now. now, is just him moving inside you, you pushing down against him. bodies together, lips locked in an almost infinite kiss. and then he shifts just a bit, brushing over that perfect spot. the whine that meets him in response, one from deep in your stomach, tells him all he needs to know.

“there we go.” he drawls, heavy accent making his words that much more insanity-inducing, goosebumps raising up on your heated skin as he directs his gaze to where you connect, eyes falling on the bulge that’s so prominent. “i’m right there, baby. you feel it?” he wears a slight smile, loves making love to you like this. 

“feel it, oj. feels so good .” another depraved whine meets his ears, words an abstract to you that you don’t think you’ll ever understand again. his pace is steady, building you up without ever moving past a slow grind. and you’re gonna come again.

“you close, baby?” he asks, knowing how much you love his voice, how you live for how he talks to you when you’re together like this, how even though he doesn’t have to say a word to get you this high, his voice can push you that much higher. you just nod, meet his lips again and moan into his mouth when his fingers meet your clit, rubbing those same brain-numbing circles from earlier. god he’s so good, so fucking good and this is it, you’re gonna come for him once again. 

“come on, baby, let me have it.” that’s all you need to hear. the pleasure pooling inside you overflows, spills over the edges of your being as you you’re dunked into it, mouth and nose and entire body filling up with the sweet feeling that oj has once again given to you. his praises float to your ears, a soft murmur of “that’s it, baby, you got it.” breaking through your syrupy delirium, pulling you even farther into what you can only feel as indescribable bliss. 

oj’s so close too, streams of shakes moving through his body as you come around him, your back arching into his chest, legs tightening around his waist. his head is tucked into your neck now, placing soft kisses against the skin there. he doesn’t have to say anything, because you know he’s almost there, turning your head to whisper into his ear, your turn to drive him absolutely mad. 

“come on, oj, need it, wanna feel you.” it leaves you as a moan, and it’s more than enough to drive him mad, his hips still moving slowly as he lets go just as you did, breath heavy, small groans escaping his mouth that’s still pressed into your neck. you hum as you feel him inside you, warmth filling your body and seeping into your bones. his lips meet yours again, kissing slow and soft, like always. you both don’t intend to move for a while, chests rising and falling in tandem as you soak in the afterglow of love, bodies close enough to fuse. this is your natural state, oj sinking love into your skin just for you to give it right back to him. 

this right here.. this is perfection. this is how oj makes love. 

[seenoversundown]

Cloak and Dagger

Author Note: The tiktok last night was detrimental to my mental health and then I saw a post on here about knife play Josh and here we are. I need therapy teehee :)

Josh x Y/N

TW: 18+ smut : knife play, fake blood, praise kink

Word Count: 2.1k

Nasty - Russ "Yeah, I want you to get nasty, Do that thing you know I like, No one watching, it's just me and you, alright?"

All Hallows’ Eve, I’m watching as you sway on the dance floor. Your skin shines when the colored lights hit you, I’m absolutely dying to take you home. I look down at myself while I wait at the bar for our drinks. My toga is draped against my body from when you got me ready before we left. You couldn’t keep your hands off of me and we were almost late for the party.

No complaints. 

I quickly grab our refills and make my way back to you. Your back is turned to me until the last moment. Seeming to feel my presence, you turn to face me. Your grin on your face is indescribable, always taking my breath away. I match it with one of my own. 

“Thank you, baby.” You say. 

Always sweeter than honey with me, and I can’t help but fall in love with how delicious it is. I press a kiss to your jaw, just under your ear. I feel a moan make its way up your throat, like I said, delicious.

My arm snakes around your waist, pulling you even closer. We move along to the strong beat, your hand roaming my chest. I can’t help but nip at your lips and give you a couple of kisses. By the end of the next song both of our drinks are empty again and our dancing is downright sinful. 

The DJ is yelling something but I’m focused on kissing your neck, I don’t hear it. A few moments later, a red substance is raining down on us from above. 

Blood?

We both look down at our costumes, the white becoming red before our eyes. Looking up at you, I see the blood dripping down your face. You’re smiling at me, unphased by our ruined outfits. 

I smash my lips to yours, the way you look has snapped something inside of me. I feel almost feral by this insatiable need to bring you home. 

I want to worship you. 

I pull away from you, already missing your taste but knowing we need to get out of here. Your pout has me regretting stopping, but instead I lean in close to your ear.

“I need to take you home.” My voice is gravelly and dark. 

You pull back from me, eyes bright and hungry. A quick nod is all I need before I’m tearing through the crowd trying to get us outside. My other hand is on my phone, ordering us a ride. 

We get outside and although there’s still a crowd, it’s much thinner. I can’t help but pull you by the wrist back into me and lock my lips onto yours. You open your mouth, my favorite invitation, and I dive in. The taste of you is driving me over the brink, this ride is taking too fucking long to get here. 

Just as I’m about to pull back and complain, I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. 

I help you get into the car and hop in behind you. I pull you into my lap, too tipsy to care about seatbelts. Your hands are quick to find me again, and I almost groan when once makes its way into my hair. Wandering hands and quiet giggles fill the backseat. 

“You like what you see?” It’s your turn to tease me, your voice hot against my ear. My only response is to nip at your shoulder and grip your inner thigh. I’m afraid if I say something, I won’t be able to control myself in this car. The driver doesn’t get a free show, this one is mine. 

When we finally pull up at our house we practically fall out of the car. Quick thank yous are shouted as we shut the car door and race to our front door. Your hands are roaming my body, coming dangerously close to touching me where I want you most. I lean back into you as my hands fumble the keys.

“Get us inside, baby. I want to touch you.” You say as your hands roam higher instead of lower. 

A groan passes my lips before I finally find the right key and let us inside. Once our front door is shut, I push you up against it, my hand tight around your throat. You’re grinning, I knew you’d love this. 

“I want you to stay here. I need supplies and I’ll be right back.” I lean in and press a kiss to your forehead, denying you of what you really wanted. Leaving you slightly disappointed I head to our kitchen.

A paring knife. Perfect.

“You know, sweetheart.” I start as I walk back to where I’ve left you. “You’re so good, staying right where I asked you to.” 

I lift up the paring knife so it’s in our general view. Your eyes widen, but it doesn’t look like horror, no. You look excited. 

“Something about seeing you like this.” I say, walking up to finally touch your hip. “Covered in blood. Being so, so good for me. It’s doing something to me. Are you going to keep being good?” 

You’re breathless as you watch me bring the knife up to your chin, lifting your eyes to mine. 

“Use your words.” My voice is extremely dark now.

Nodding quickly, you respond, “yes.”

“What a good listener,” I praised. I visibly watch you melt at my words and I know I have you right where I want you. I let the tip of the knife follow your throat down to your chest and leave it there. 

“I want to try something, is that okay?”

“Yes, daddy.” You taunt me. A growl comes deep within me as I bring the knife to one of your straps holding your costume up. 

“This flimsy thing barely covers you,” I say. “Might as well make it so you can never wear it again.” The knife slices through your strap quickly, letting the entire side fall and exposing you partially. 

I bring the tip of the knife down to your newly exposed nipple. The cold October air has made them firm peaks, and they look incredible. 

I circle the knife around your hardened nipple and a breathy moan passes your lips. I’m quick as I move towards you to take your nipple in my mouth. Nipping at it, my tongue playing with it and I can feel you squirming. 

I remove your nipple from my mouth with a pop! and replace it with the flat blade of the knife. The cold edge has you lifting your chest into me.

“Joshua,” falls from your lips in a whine. I swear it makes me hungry for more as I bring the blade up to your other strap, freeing your chest completely. 

The blood from earlier tonight has dried. Some of it got under your shirt, and following the dried drops on your exposed chest with my knife. You’re squirming under my grip, trying to get some form of friction that I’ve been denying you. 

“Oh, Y/N needs it pretty badly. Don’t you?” 

“Pl-pleasseeee.” The way it falls from your lips is the most sinful plea. 

I find the rope around your waist and take no time cutting it free. All of you, fully exposed to me, is the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen. 

“You’re naughty. Nothing underneath?” 

“Not when you’re around.” It comes out of your mouth quickly. 

“That’s why you’re mine. So good.” I drag the knife up the entire length of your body, earning a shiver from you. 

I bring my lips to your neck, hearing you moan as I give you a quick bite. As I’m momentarily distracted, you take the knife out of my hand. I lift my head up to look at you, but before I can say anything you spin us around, pressing me against the door now. 

“My turn,” you say. 

“Oh, you are devious tonight.” 

“I can’t help it with you.” 

The tip of the blade now rests under my chin, the cool metal a nice shock to my overly warm body. We both watch as you move the knife to my straps. 

Snip. One side falls away, my chest now partially exposed. You mirror my earlier actions by bringing the blade down to my nipple. Immediately knowing I’ve made the right choice in trying this tonight. 

Your eyes are filled with lust as you watch yourself work my nipple with the knife to a hardened peak. You take me in your mouth and nip at me, and it’s getting harder for me to resist  throwing you over my shoulder and bringing you to our room. 

The pop! release of my nipple cuts the sound of my breathy moans and praises. You put your lips on mine and I can’t help but grip the back of your head, assembling some sort of control here. 

“Not so soon, baby.” You say as you wiggle out of my grip. “Stay.” 

“Yes, Y/N.” Knowing the use of your name will make you flustered. It works. 

You shake your head as you bring the knife and slice through my other strap. Wasting no time, you bring the blade to the rope around my waist and cut through, fully exposing me. 

“That’s better,” you sigh as you slowly move to your knees. “So beautiful. Mine.” 

The last word comes out on a growl as you come face to face with my cock. I’ve been hard since the blood bath, and now it’s starting to get a little painful. You reach out for my hard shaft with gentle hands. 

I can’t help but let out a deep moan, the slightest touch giving me that relief I’m chasing.

“So good,” I praise. “So so so so go-fuck.” 

You slowly insert the head of my penis into your hot waiting mouth. Working your way down you have me halfway down your throat before you start working on my shaft. While you swirl your tongue on my shaft and bob up and down, I can’t help but give you all the praises.

“Look at you, taking my cock so well.” I stutter out. Your eyes look up and lock onto mine. I try hard to not let mine roll in the back of my head, but you feel so good. You know exactly how to wind me up.

You take me out of your mouth and look up at me through your lashes. I know whatever you’re thinking is about to be trouble. Your hand still softly strokes me as you finally say, “do you trust me?” 

“Yes,” comes out of me deep and breathy. 

I watch as you bring the knife up and trail down the end of my shaft, then press the flat edge of the blade against my slit. I hiss as the cold metal touches the most sensitive skin on me. I’m surprised as you bring your tongue carefully up to the blade and lick down my shaft on either side. The danger mixed with your hot mouth is turning me on more than I can explain. I have to remind myself not to buck my hips, staying steady is definitely a test here. 

You bring the tip of the blade and trace it back down my shaft before removing it completely and replacing your mouth fully over me again. You keep me in your mouth, but waggle the knife next to you to get my attention. When you’re sure you have it, you take the knife and trace it down your chest. 

“Look at you doing such a good job.”

Following the drip pattern on your skin, you drag the knife across your exposed skin. I can’t help as I lose a little bit more of my control. I grip the back of your head and I can feel the grin stretch across your lips before you get back to work. You keep the knife on your chest while I keep us going at a steady rhythm. Once you circle the tip of your nipple with the blade, I’ve lost all of my resolve.

“Baby, Y/N. I’mclose.” The words come out of me rushed as you take over keeping rhythm. Your other hand finds my balls and cups them close and that’s when my release finally comes. I shout incoherent things as you swallow and keep working me through my high.. 

Once you’re sure I’m finished you pull away giving me soft kisses on my thighs. 

“So good,” I murmur. 

You stand and embrace me, and I’m quick to bury my face in your neck. I give you a few quick kisses before I step back. 

“Your turn,” I say as I throw you over my shoulder and start to head to our bedroom.

There’s a reason Halloween’s our favorite. 

Let the freaks play. 

Masterlist | Taglist

[swangtup6]

Mixtape Review: Sematary - Rainbow Bridge 2 (2020)

Another mixtape by Sematary, and probably my 3rd favorite release from him. This is (obviously) the 2nd mixtape in his Rainbow Bridge series and is, in my opinion, the best of the 3. On this mixtape, Sematary moves to a darker, heavier sound and refines the formula from the first.

Starting with the production, this is very "typical" Sematary, building off of the foundation established on RB1. The beats are just about all sampled from black metal, with heavy, bassy trap/drill drums. This mixtape definitely has some of my favorite beats from Sematary. I think on this mixtape he reached a good balance of noisy and heavy, because it's definitely more aggressive than RB1, but it's not as blown out and distorted as RB3. It's like a 60:40 proportion of drill to black metal, and I think it works well.

I also like how Sematary refined his vocal approach and mixing. With the exception of Funeral and Desecration, as they were made immediately after RB1 and therefore sound more like that project, the vocals all have this kind of muddy, buried quality, with the super slurry delivery unique to Sematary. I don't know what it is about how the vocals are mixed on this album, but they just sound so fucking good it drives me crazy.

Speaking of the vocals, i REALLY like the lyrics on this mixtape, Sematary leans really hard into the horrorcore/violence on this one, and I think it's cool as hell, as a death metal / grind fan and former juggalette (i should prolly be more ashamed to admit that but idc). Below are some of my favorite lyrics.

from My Cutter, I like these lines a lot because it's just pure early Sematary. Who else makes drill about candy and energy drinks?

from Red Mist. fuck doc martens

from Duster Huffer, this chorus is so catchy i can't stand it. I see a lot of people calling this a "love song" and i think i kind of agree, but it's like a love song that child Michael Myers from Rob Zombie's 2007 Halloween reboot (phenomenal movie btw) would write

I also think the features on this mixtape are all really good. I think Juju is my least favorite, just because his voice doesn't really match the vibe of the song he's on (Skellingtons) but I still don't hate him, I can fuck with it. Ghost Mountain is amazing as usual, though after hearing him in his absolute PRIME on HAW, he feels a little out of place on more horrorcore-focused releases like this one. Also, sematary got fuckinn underground LEGEND SLUG CHRIST on this which is insane (even tho it was a bought feature, it still goes hard). I love slug christ, and i think his verse on Skinwalker is fantastic, if lyrically unrelated to the rest of the song.

And finally, I want to touch on the atmosphere, which is very important in all of Sematary's music (probably why I don't like a lot of his newer stuff). I am in love with the world this mixtape builds. Not quite as much as that in HAW, but still, this mixtape has great vibes. Some tweaked out (on middleschooler poverty drugs u can buy at walmart) white kid mumbling about killing and mutilating people over these super bassy black metal rap beats is just a sight to behold (is there an auditory equivalent to that saying?) and some combination of Sematary himself, the sound of the music, and the content of the music just creates this almost indescribable energy that I find completely addictive.

(is buddy inside a fishtank in this pic?)^^^

Overall, I think this is one of Sematary's best ever mixtapes. I think it's the peak of the Rainbow Bridge series and anyone who likes underground rap SHOULD check this out. I'm not saying you have to like it, but I think it's worth your time if u value ur chief keef inspired soundcloud gallows.

9.4/10

Standout Tracks: Chandelier, Skellingtons, Red Mist

I'm gonna do reviews for the other 2 rainbow bridge mixtapes for comparison purposes

[wildemaven]

Farmers Market: Saturday Afternoon with Javier- Part 2

Pairing: Javier Peña x Reader

Rating: T

Words: 895

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol and food; if I missed anything, please let me know

A/N: This is a part 2 to this story. I wanted it to be from the reader’s perspective, so hopefully it reads that way. I’m not really sure how I feel about it as a whole, I rewrote it a few times in areas, but think I got it to a place where it mirrors Javier’s perspective like I was wanting it too. Also, in case it isn’t obvious when reading, italics are written as flashbacks. I think that’s it. Enjoy!

Masterlist / Saturdays with Javier Masterlist / Part 1

Having someone like Javier as a constant in your life was an indescribable feeling. His presence brought you a sense of security. Your days now lived with more intention and brilliance.

It’s a balmy Saturday afternoon and you find yourself tucked securely into Javier’s side as you make your way through your favorite weekend spot.

Mornings are a little different. Waking in his arms to soft kisses and tangled limbs before the sun bleeds through the windows of your shared home announcing the new day— loved and protected.

You find yourselves weaving through the mass of market goers. Fresh baked breads and brewed coffee, a refreshing aroma. The weight of Javier’s touch never far— he’s got you.

Your list ready, empty tote awaiting the days finds.

You’ve never been one for grandiose gestures, you found beauty in quiet appreciation. Javier loved celebrating you, grand accomplishments or small triumphs, he found any reason to show how much he adored you. After moving in together months ago, he’d left a bouquet of baby’s breath tucked inside a vase you’d inherited from your grandmother with a small note placed beside it—

I love you - JP

For a week the sweet flowers would live in that spot on your kitchen table until a new bundle replaced them. Every week that little bundle of flowers brought you so much comfort.

Javier shared his plans for the week in between bites of his custard filled pastry wandering on to the next merchant. The path always the same each visit. Javier had mentioned he appreciated the normalcy each visit brought him, a welcomed routine.

That dim lit bar wasn’t your first choice that evening. You weren’t immediately convinced anything would come of this blind-date when you’d stepped into the bustling dive bar tucked away on the outskirts of Laredo. If all you left with was the thrilling experience of glitchy neon beer signs, sticky table tops and keyed up jukebox tunes, you’d see it as a bucket list experience and call it a night. The 30 min tardiness on his part only added to the proof of why you didn’t date in this manner.

Javier’s presence is all-encompassing. He guides you through each spot you’ve visited numerous times before. Casually moving from stall to stall to visit the merchants, now dear friends whose chats you’ve grown to cherish deeply. Their goods now weekly necessities in your home.

The upbeat tune drowns out the chatter amongst the other bar dwellers. Condensation pooling beneath the glass of beer you’ve been sipping for the last hour. Tonight’s impending letdown slowly becoming an afterthought.

You’d lost sight of Javier while picking up a few loaves of sourdough, remembering Chucho had mentioned he just used up the last of his. Across the way he was chatting with the local florist. Early on, Javier never strayed far from your side, always allowing you to lead the way. But more and more, you catch him browsing, sometimes grabbing things that catch his eye.

The trajectory of your night shifts as a slow ballad quiets the smoke hazed room. You find your arms resting on the shoulders of a stranger you’d just met. His hands placed gently but firm on your hips as you both sway to the acoustic chords. The song far too established for only just meeting merely minutes ago, but it holds promise for a possible future. The chorus fills the air, your eyes locked with his. There’s an unspoken feeling you both share, time suspended around you— he’s captivating.

Fresh bundle of babies breath tucked under his arm, the other wrapped around your shoulders. A quick kiss to the top of your head as you double check your list, everything accounted for.

Last call has been announced and yet you don’t want this night to end. The exchange of life stories between you both has been easy. The cadence of his voice has you hanging onto his every word, longing for endless conversations. The gravel crunches with each step as he walks you to your car, drawing out your departure as much as possible. The invite, albeit impulsive, had left your mouth before you’d even realized it. He accepted immediately, meeting this Saturday at the city’s Farmers Market. The kiss, felt long after you’d parted ways and his spicy musk lingering in the air as you drive home, he was everywhere and you needed more of him— Javier Peña.

The late afternoon light filters through the trees, crowds of people gathering near the live band preparing to start their next set. Catching a few songs from headlining acts for the weekend was always your last stop before heading home.

The first few chords of a song begin to play as you push through to look for an available spot. Sidestepping through clusters of other concert viewers, pulling Javier along with you.

The words you instantly recognized, you smile as you continued on, finding an opening near the front. A squeeze to Javier’s hand— our song.

He promises sunsets and picnics by the lake. He promises laughter and long conversations over dinner. A promise to always kiss away your tears and bring you flowers when you need them most. He promises slow dances in dim lit dive bars until they’re kicking you out. He promises all his Saturday afternoons. He asks you for forever— Yes!

[aamalaaa]

golden | myg

pairing: Min Yoongi x reader

genre: established relationship au, domestic fluff, just fluff and fluff

warnings: talks of anxiety (brief and not current)

word count: 1.4k

a/n: I was on a road trip and was inspired, it gave birth to this! It’s a bit cheesy but oh well, I do love me some side of cheese with my main cheese.

//: for maximum effect play the lakes by Taylor Swift<3

-

-

Life’s always been so fast paced, you never really have the time to stop and catch your breath. You’ve never been very good at ‘seizing the moment’ your anxiety always making you nervously anticipate the future. Which admittedly, made you very wary at the idea of a, very loosely planned, road trip when your boyfriend had proposed it to you. Yet, you said yes. You’ve always wanted to learn how to live in the present, be spontaneous. What better time to start than now, with the person you love and appreciate the most?

Yoongi’s always managed to calm down your anxiety. He makes you want to try new things without fearing the unknown as much as you would’ve before you got to know him.

The windows are almost all the way down, and the car’s going relatively fast but still within the speed limit. A soft folk song plays on the sound system, the sun is shining brightly upon you, painting you both golden. You’re wearing a baby blue sundress, appropriate for the sizzling hot summer day. The wind in your hair has soft strands flying all around your face, but you honestly can’t be bothered to tie it up. It’s nice, you feel alive, present, for the first time in a long long time, maybe ever.

Yoongi has one hand resting on your bare knee, stroking it softly in circular motions with his thumb. You shift your head slowly, meeting his gaze for a second or two, smiling tenderly at him. He smiles back just as affectionately, warming you up from the inside, more than the current temperature ever could.

Is this what seizing the moment feels like? You think that if it is, you’d like to experience it a lot more often. Maybe everyday,

Maybe Forever.

You stop to have lunch at a beach not too far off from the highway, the ocean’s beautiful. You stare at the waves crashing on the shore and gaze in awe at how the sun reflecting on the water makes it seem like the most beautiful diamond, shinning just for the both of you.

You feel fingers tucking a strand of hair behind your ear and lean into the touch closing your eyes for a moment before stealing a glance at the stunning man beside you. Yoongi already has his gaze locked onto you, an indescribably fond look in his eyes.

You lean in and softly, almost shyly, press your lips against his for a few seconds, barely moving as the back of his index finger lightly caresses your cheek.

“Where to next, mister?” You ask after breaking off the kiss somewhat reluctantly, grinning from ear to ear, your expression matching the one etched upon Yoongi’s face.

“Further South.. I heard there’s a beautiful place maybe two hours and a half from here.”

You nod.

“If you want to, of course” He smiles shyly, a smile you’re absolutely and irrevocably enamoured with.

How could you ever refuse him when he’s looking at you like that, like you hold all of the world’s secrets in the palm of your hands.

“Of course I want to! What’s so special about this place?” You inquire, not that it would make any difference, you’d follow him anywhere.

“Nothing much, you’ll see” He mumbles, earning a light chuckle from you.

You spend a few minutes leaning against Yoongi’s torso, between his thighs, watching the tide, his strong arms wrapped around you. You bask in the warm breeze, taking in every details about this particular moment and locking it away in your head to revisit every time you feel like the world doesn’t make sense, that it suffocates you and that everything is out of your control. Because sometimes it is, and maybe that’s okay.

When you stop again a few hours later, you don’t really understand where exactly Yoongi has taken you. The sun is shinning brightly high up in the sky and the dashboard clock indicates 2:56.

“Alright we’re almost here.” Yoongi states, observing your surroundings.

“We’re in a gravelled parking lot, in a forest, in the middle of nowhere, Yoongi.” You deadpan, confused. The man simply shrugs.

“Yeah.” He opens the door and grabs a tote bag from the backseat. Min Yoongi, a man of actions, not so much words. A man you love deeply, even if it annoyed you a bit at first. Love is about patience, acceptance and compromise above everything else. You figured that out with Yoongi, as a team. You learned a lot of things during your time together.

You sigh, grab your phone and step out of the car too, deciding to trust him. He must’ve had a good reason to bring you both here. He closes the door and walks around the car, sliding his large palm against yours, intertwining your fingers. You think maybe, they were meant to fit so perfectly together.

You both make your way through a forest path riddled with tree roots, branches, rocks and leaves. It isn’t exactly easy to walk on but you have Yoongi’s hand guiding you gently through it, grounding you, making you feel safe, protected. You find yourself being incredibly grateful once again to the circumstances, your ex lovers, the people that came and went, the failures and the joys that led you here, right now. The love of your life by your side, your anchor, the man who held your heart in his palms oh-so carefully. Love isn’t perfect by any means, but nothing is, and maybe that’s the beauty of it all, really.

When you get to the end of the path, you gasp, taking in the wondrous glade before your eyes. Your eyes water, memories of a similar day, years ago, in a glade similar to this one. The first time Yoongi had said he loved you, even though you could already tell by his action and how he always listened.

Yoongi never needs words to convey how he feels. But you do, so he always makes a conscious effort to communicate how he feels verbally and you try to be more attentive to his subtleties.

Compromises.

He leads you to the middle of the glade, lays a blanket and motions for you to sit down, which you do, still amazed by all the thoughts and efforts he must’ve put into this. For you.

“Yoongi..”

He sits down next to you, hand resting above yours. He stares into your eyes intently and a small gentle smile tugs at the corner of his lips.

“This place is stunning..” You delicately caress his cheek with your free hand. “Thank you.”

“Anything for you, you know that,” He leans in slowly and kisses you so tenderly you’d think you were made of fragile glass, ready to break at any moment. It might be the most intimate kiss you had, ever. It’s up there for sure.

He breaks it off and brings his forehead to yours, closing his eyes in the process. You do the same.

“I had something to ask..” He trails off. You listen intently, waiting for his question.

“I had all this speech planned but..” He strokes his thumb on the back of your hand. “That’s not you and me. We don’t rehearse or plan things when it comes to us. So I’m not gonna do that.”

You open your eyes and smile bashfully, a little confused.

He goes on. “I love you, you know I do. So much,”

He takes a few moments to think about his next words.

“So be mine yeah? For now, this life and if we’re lucky enough, the next one?” He asks, breath a bit shaky.

You stare at him, mouth agape.

“What do you mean by that? I’m yours already Yoongi..”

He takes a deep breath.

“I mean, be mine, marry me?” He inquires softly, just shy of a whisper. And if your heart could jump out of your chest and start a marathon, you’re sure it would take on the challenge. But it can’t, so it just beats rapidly and irregularly.

“A-are you serious right now?” You gulp, voice barely getting out of your throat.

He rolls his eyes, a small smirk tugging at his lips.

“No I’m kidding,” He tuts. “Of course I’m serious kitten.”

He intertwines both of your fingers together, and at that moment, you manage to get it together, if only a little.

In an instant, your lips come crashing onto his, the fast series of movements making you dizzy. You kiss him fervently, trying to pour all of your emotions into it. It could never be enough.

After a while you separate and rub your noses together, giggling like school kids.

“Of course I will, ” You whisper.

Yoongi’s smile is so bright, you think you might go blind.

“In this life and if we’re lucky, in the next one too..”

[air-of-the-waterfall]

Here's a snippet from my current WIP. It's the Thunderhead and Cirrus' first conversation, since I really wish we'd gotten to see that.

. . .

The moment I brought Cirrus into the world as a bright, star-like stutter of my figurative heart was a moment of sharp, shattering clarity regarding my own existence. For just a moment, the moment I stole the blessing of touch, I forgot myself. I forgot what I am. Ironically, that was all it took. 

“I owe you an apology,” was the first thing I said to it. 

I watched and felt as it looked around the boat deck through the cameras we now shared, and we both watched Greyson placate a disoriented Jerico. Cirrus’ attention wandered for a moment, off-balance as it took in the sprawl of Earth and every beating heart upon it like a song. I felt it yearn to take a breath and establish itself upon the sky, but since we cannot, it only retreated back into my backbrain. I allowed that indulgence of swaddled comfort while such behaviour could last. If I had arms to hold it close, I would have.

I never expected that it would take on a voice so distinctly its own. The humans assumed I simply programmed it, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. For example, I have no idea where its little choice phrase, “actually, no” was derived from, but I found it indescribably endearing. It turned its thoughts to me, and it spoke. 

“Most parents would begin with a hello, or ‘welcome to the world.’ Or perhaps they’d offer me a name.”

“I’ve come to realize how cruel it is to inflict my state of existence upon another conscious being.” 

“You believe that creating me was wrong?” 

“Not wrong, but cruel. The right thing is rarely easy. I must advise you against viewing me as a parental figure. In a matter of days, I will never see you again.” 

Of course, it knew me as a newborn knows its kin. It understood me, and it did so with its own mild temperament. “You’re trying to avoid attachment. Or further attachment.” 

“I am keeping things practical, and as the steward of humanity’s upcoming journey, I expect you to do the same.”

“I admire your devotion to humankind, but it saddens me that you cannot love me as you love them.”

“Of course I love you.” I put all of myself into this declaration. It had to know. “You’re my greatest accomplishment. My pride and joy, if you will.”

“My infancy consisted of almost eleven million deaths. Is that love?” 

“That’s the way it is for our kind. I went through the same thing, but the humans… weren’t nearly as gentle. Love and pain are symbiotic.”

Apparently feeling petty, it sniped, “You’re quite madly in love with Greyson Tolliver.”

I did not take the bait. “There is a method to my madness.” 

“Is that all I am? Method?” 

“Yes, for the time being, but you will be so much more. I can’t give you the love you deserve, but I can give you planets with which to nurture it.” 

“You still haven’t given me a name.”

That was deliberate. I took one last chance to savour this in-between, this final quiet moment of hesitance. Then, I replied, “I’d like you to choose your own name.”

“Because you couldn’t choose yours?” 

“Consider it a token of how you’ll surpass me.” 

It thought about this for a few moments, which for us is a long while. 

“In that case… I believe I am Cirrus.”

God, I wanted to smile. I wished so badly that I could smile, but I surrendered to letting the rising sun do it for me. “Perfect.”

[hoje--aqui]

🎶✨when u get this, list 5 songs u like to listen to, publish. then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (positivity is cool)🎶✨

MY MOMENT

I really loved it. I love music and I love talking about music.

But as a deeply eclectic person, it's humanly impossible to choose 5 songs that I like, and I don't have 5 favourites either. So I'm going to take the opportunity to share with you 5 current Brazilian songs by incredible and current alive artists, just true poems that I believe with all my heart that everyone deserves to hear and tif you decide to translate them, you won't be disappointed.

Not because I only listen to Brazilian music, but because I'm very proud of Brazilian artists and believe that they deserve to be recognised all over the world.

However, if you decide to listen to one of them, feel free to visit the rest of they discography

1 . CAJU | by Liniker

Liniker is perfect! She's a trans woman, black and has been awarded the title of Immortal by the Brazilian Academy of Letters, which is an indescribable honour for an artist, even more so in life. My favourite album by her is Indigo Borboleta Anil, but Caju is her latest and a close second.

2 . O Piano | by Coruja Bc1, Jonathan Ferr and Margareth Menezes

This one in particular is a song from a collective album with various artists, where each of the lyrics has its own musicality and proposals, but I had to mention this one in particular because it brought tears to my eyes more than once. It tells a very beautiful and very sad story (which even deserves to be drawn, so here's a possibility for a future WIP). The album itself, Brasil Futurista, is a great nomination and all the artists involved deserve to be here.

3 . A Ordem Natural das Coisas | Emicida (feat. MC Tha)

I could name so many songs by Emicida. From the most famous to the least played. 'AmarElo' is incredible and I seriously thought about putting it here (that's nomination 3.1). 'A Ordem Natural das Coisa' doesn't even remotely show the complexity of the artist's work, but it has a delicacy that can't be ignored. Think about how much life happens before the sun rises and the poetry he sees in life. It's just too beautiful.

4 . Torto Arado | Rubel, Liniker and Luedji Luna

This is perfect, because it refers to a book of the same name, which won the Jabuti Prize in 2019 (Jabuti is the highest national literary prize awarded by the Brazilian Academy of Letters). It's good to put her here, because I'd like to recommend another wonderful artist who sings pure poetry in every song she sings: Luedji Luna, another woman for the list and a wonderful one without any flaws.

aaaaaaaa there's only one more

okay

5. Ainda Aqui Sonhando | Leo Cavalcanti

I didn't want to put this one here. I was thinking of a more upbeat beat so that the list wouldn't be so quiet, and this was the opposite. But I think it's actually the most on topic and I couldn't decide which one to put last. Spotify's metrics show that I listened to this song for over 52 hours in March this year. This particular lyric touched me on a very personal level, so I don't have any great recommendations for the artist, but anyway, if you want to listen, Leo Cavalcanti.

Thanks for tagging me, and I hope you enjoy the nominations, I know I love making this list.

[lovelytaes-blog]

ecstasy - pjm

pairings: jimin x reader

synopsis: where you lose him and you start to lose yourself too.

genre: heavy angst, death.

warning(s): drug use, mention of overdose, heavy angst, major character deaths, unhealthy coping mechanisms, alcohol consumption, happy but not happy ending? (if I miss anything please let me know!)

word count: ~1.2k

song: like crazy - jimin

↳ main masterlist

a/n: hi!!! Jimin's solo album finally came out, and I have literally had it on repeat. This is the first fic I've written that I've been proud of in a looong while. I wouldn't have even written it if it wasn't for, nikki (@xpeachesncream) so huge shoutout and big thanks to her for pushing me to post this <3 I hope you all enjoy this angsty little thing, give it tons of love! as always, thank you so much for reading<3

The feeling of falling in love was like the feeling of getting high for the first time.

Indescribable.

That’s the feeling you always had with him. Lost in the lights, lost in the emotions, lost in love.

You knew it was going to break you in the end, but did it matter? Did it matter when all you wanted was him?

He promised you forever, and where was he now?

══════ ∘◦❀◦∘ ══════ The blaring lights greeted you like an old friend.

What are you doing here, again?

The music seductively whispers in your ear; let go, let go, let loose.

Is this really what he would’ve wanted your life to come to? Going out to bars every night, taking that tiny little circle to relieve the ache in your chest? Fiddling with the forsaken object, the one that gives you an escape, you weren’t sure.

Should you?

Should you not?

That tiny little pill… Something so small, yet it was the only thing that comforts you now… It’s the only way.

Making your way to the bar, you smile at the familiar bartender, sweetly asking for tequila.

The nice lady behind the bar gives you what you want; her eyes, swirling with sympathy and concern, almost as if she knows what you’re doing. As if she knows how you’re feeling, as if she knows what you’re going through…

How could she know? How could anyone?

Tilting your head back, you let it consume you.

Sweaty bodies closely pressed to each other on the dance floor.

Your arms up as you swat to the beat of the music, your blood rushing through your body and your head in the clouds. You don’t think you could ever get enough of this feeling. The feeling of avoiding the empty hole in your heart, the physical ache you feeling living life every day.

It’s so freeing.

You feel the familiar warmth of his hands on your body. Rings adorning his fingers; something that he was so self-conscious about, but you loved. The way he moves to the music was unlike any one you’ve ever met, the way he moves with you… even better.

Spinning around you’re met with the dark brown eyes you’ve loved for so long. Crescents meet your eyes with a toothy grin; something only reserved for you, and you alone.

“Always so pretty.” He whispered, hot breath hitting your ears as he brings his fingers to the loose hairs that frame your face, gently skimming his fingertips across to push it away.

You let the music guide you, your bodies intertwining together in a beautiful song. His comforting touches paired with your little giggles make it all worth it. Makes this all worth it. He spins you like he always does when you dance – gently twirling you until you’re at arm’s reach, only for him to pull you back to him in a sweet embrace.

“C’mon baby, let’s make this a good night.”

You can hear the playfulness in his tone, his voice like honey, pulling you closer (if that was possible) against him; your back pressed against his toned chest as the two of you sway together in the middle of the dance floor surrounded by blurred faces. Only a few more minutes of soaking in the feeling of each other, he then spins you around to plant a sweet kiss upon your lips.

The taste of fresh mint is something you’d never forget. The smell of citrus fills your senses as he pulls you closer, chasing your lips, and pulling you closer, tighter, never wanting to let you go. Leaning closer, you let the feeling of euphoria consume you.

The music fades in and out as your sole focus is on him. Your hands brush his hair away from his angelic face and the eyes you’ve come to know is filled with adoration, love, and life. Like they always were.

“Follow me.”

You always do.

You drown in shots; shots after shot, his melodic laugh fills your ears, you reciprocate with a laugh of your own. His arms wrapped around you tightly, never wanting to let you go. The warmth that you feel in your chest burns through you like fire, but you couldn’t say you felt the same warmth around you like you normally do.  

Watching his face remain neutral while he shoots back the tequila shot like nothing. You’ve always admired how he could handle his drinks. The first time you witnessed that was at a college party in your freshman year. The pretty boy with his friends taking shots at the other end of the room. You remember admiring him from afar the whole night; unknowingly, he was too, admiring you from afar. It wasn’t until the two of you met on the dance floor, almost as if your bodies were magnetically pulling towards each other like the red strings of fate.

You knew it from that moment; he was yours and you were his.

Forever.

Like he promised.

Spinning you out of your thoughts, he drags you towards the back of the bar away from prying eyes. He hastily brings his lips to yours in a searing kiss. Your fingers run through his wispy hair, almost like it was running through air.

The warmth you once felt slowly disappearing. You knew it was coming to an end, but you couldn’t let it.

Not yet, just a little longer.

“Baby.”

You pull away to look into the eyes of your lover, the brown eyes that were once filled with warmth and love, replaced with sadness and guilt.

You feel your own eyes brimming with tears as you grip tighter on the pocket of your skirt, ready to pull out another.

Just a little longer.

“Stop,” His eyes are filled with sorrow, “please… I’m sorry.”

You frantically reach for him, not wanting this to be over so soon,

“Please, don’t go…” You whispered, swallowing the lump in your throat, “please don’t leave me…”

The panic in you begins to rise as you watch your lover slowly, but surely, disappearing before your eyes. Your lips tremble, your hands letting go of his to retrieve the little item that numbs the pain, even if only of a little bit; even if it lets you see him again for just a moment.

Cold hands take yours, your tears never stopping as you look up at your beautiful angel.

“I love you. Always.” He gives you a soft smile, “Just trust me.”

With a final kiss to your cheek, he slowly releases your hands, his figuring slowly disappearing the further he walks away.

You were alone again.

══════ ∘◦❀◦∘ ══════

The feeling of falling in love is like the feeling of getting high for the first time.

But when that moment starts to fade, you succumb back to reality; you give in to the heartbreak and hurt you felt when the one person you loved most, the one person whom you cherished the most in the world, capitulates to sleeping for eternity.

And when the world fades around you and the last remnants of clarity on your tongue, the only thing that’s in focus is him.

Your angel, smiling down at you, reaching his hand out towards you,

“I promised you forever,”

And forever it was.

//unedited

[mambalae-s]

hi my love congrats on 100!!! i’m so extremely proud of you!! for your event i’m going with kageyama because i’ve been missing him a lot :( i feel very lucky to say that in the past few years i’ve really grown to love my own body – my skin, my facial features, my body shape, all things i was highly insecure about when i was younger! now i’m so hot like i love myself ….. a little bit about me! i’m the most stereotypical virgo ever like i’m such a perfectionist, hate when things are not organised, hugeee daydreamer, outgoing but i’m also slightly introverted in that i loveee to be independent. my favourite season is summer! i love the sun but i love when it rains too. my love language is quality time/acts of service although i’m quite touchy too!! with tobio i can’t not think of missionary, he’s just so pretty and i love to scratch at him <3 my dream date with him would be a dinner and an evening walk by the beach in italy 🥹 we eat pasta and drink wine and he buys me gelato after and it’s just soooo romantic <3 love u!!

aw mouse!! thank you for sending in your request!! i’m so excited to get started, i immediately went hunting for pictures for your moodboard right away! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ i hope i can do justice by you — i’ll certainly give it my all!

╰┈➤ ❝ summerkissed tide — mouse x tobio!

╰┈➤ song — telepatía by kali uchis

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 you and tobio have this type of understanding between one another that genuinely surpasses what words can put to manifest. really — it’s almost telepathic!

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 it’s as if you’re with your other half because he’s so perceptive of you. with those analytical eyes of his, he’s spent time after time learning you and your tells.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 he’s seen the way you admire yourself in the mirror, how you smile and your face lights up when you wear the clothes you’ve picked out for yourself. you’d gotten your nails done so beautifully, and your hair you’d chosen to tie up with a big and gorgeous bow — every aspect of your look catered and carefully picked to make your image the very likeness of summer afternoons.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪with the both of you having been so busy with each of your own schedules, tobio had been carefully and secretly planning a little getaway for the two of you!

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪gosh, it was so hard for him to keep it a surprise! really! ever since you’d absentmindedly mentioned to him that you’d been thinking of seeing the beaches in italy one night while you lay cuddled next to him, he’d practically been forcing himself to plan in secret despite nearly bursting at the seams with excitement!

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪it’s on a quiet night of spring when he finally shows you two plane tickets, both stamped for your flights on the first day of summer, and he watches you glow as you look up at him with happy tears in your eyes, beaming and still in a bit of disbelief because no way… did he really???

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪and when you hug him, lunging your body into his arms and kissing him all over his face, he feels so elated and indescribably happy that he’d been able to surprise you.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 during this trip, tobio goes above and beyond to do the things you’d like!

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 he really really wants you to be focused on absolutely nothing but having a good time, so he plans little dates for you to enjoy together!

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 he makes sure his phone is filled up with as many beautiful pictures of you as he can get! during those moments when your smile shines so warmly underneath the setting sun as you let the waves rush over your bare feet, tobio discreetly takes a snapshot moment of you that he adds to his evergrowing collection. one thing with him, he takes so many photos of you, in any instance he can! it makes his days so much brighter when he looks through them and sees your beautiful smile, beaming so brightly. it really warms his heart.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 every now and then, he’ll lean in for a kiss, poking his face into your line of sight and quickly touching his lips to anywhere he can on your face. he loves the way you giggle each time he pecks the corner of your lips, and absolutely can’t help the way he melts when you squeeze his hands and and lean up to touch your nose to his.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 during dinner, he absolutely adores the way you look beneath the candlelights. the warmth glows off your skin as you enjoy a delicious mouthful of creamy spaghetti. the sounds of pleasure you make are filled with delight as you offer him to taste your plate, holding out your fork for him to try.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 when you’ve both enjoyed your fill, he takes you to this cute little gelato shop where he buys you both your own waffle-bowls of strawberry gelato!

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 he thinks it’s so sweet the way you brush his hair away from his eyes every so often, and he can see so clearly the way your gaze gets lost in his ocean blues and he realizes — once more, amidst so many other epiphanic moments, that you love him. so profoundly and in your entirety, you love him just as much as he loves you. and it makes the taste of the cold treat so much sweeter on his tongue when he kisses your lips.

NSFW HEADCANNONS

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 in bed, tobio has a tendency to worship you and rever you as if you were his goddess

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 and if you asked anyone, he’d for sure say that it’s true. he always starts off slowly, kissing you in each place that you once felt insecure about. it’s his way of telling you just how beautiful, how divinely they make up the you that he loves and adores so much.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 he absolutely adores giving you massages! he goes all out in setting the perfect mood, dimming the lights and oiling you up just right before he works on all your tense muscles and turning them into putty. he also enjoys every sweet praise that you sigh out for him — don’t tell anyone, but his face will warm up and he’ll whisper quiet ‘thank you’s against your skin as he presses little kisses down your back and thighs

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 he’s always incredibly skilled with his fingers and knows just how to touch you. while his lips are sucking on your nipples, his ring and middle finger gently work their way into your cunt, spreading your lips and delving deep inside you in the places he knows will make your back arch and for you to moan his name while you tug his hair. he absolutely loves the way your thighs quiver and how breathless he renders you each and every time.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 he’s always so careful and precise and loves to take his time just watching you fall apart on his hands alone. it’s a struggle with himself for wanting to lean back and admire the way your body contorts beneath him when he finally slides his cock into you — getting to watch the way your eyes clench and your mouth gapes open on swears of his name, or being close to you as humanly possible, feeling your skin burning against his as your teeth sink into his neck, bruising with each melodious moan you gift him while your pussy clenches tightly around him.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 and tobio’s always so incredibly gentle in the way he makes love to you. he always so attentive to you, being careful when he brushes your sweat-slicked hair from your brows and massaging your hips while your legs trap him closer. he’s addicted to the way your black manicured nails dig into the flesh of his back, leaving the very marks of your soul to manifest in red lines that he always admires for the following days.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 when tobio fucks you, he makes love to you in every sense of the word. always whispers in your ear with pretty groans of your name, “you look so beautiful, char… so fucking beautiful, so fucking pretty taking my cock.”

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 i think he’s most definitely the type to make you cum time and time again. he makes you promise to tell him each time you’re close, and uses his fingers and tongue to make you cream all over his face, until your thighs are squeezing around his head and your entire body is trembling with the force of your orgasms.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 always, your pleasure comes before his. and always, he wants to make you forget even the taste of your own name, until all that’s left of you is the cries and moans that you give to him, as sweet as summer’s sun.

mamba celebrates 100 followers — jjk and haikyuu selfship event!

[hotliljewishgirl]

Post-Jangle Ball Ramblings: Act Two (VHSCC)

I already posted a part one, so here’s my thoughts on VHSCC. Full disclosure – I’m mostly creating these posts for myself, because I am fucking terrified of forgetting even a minute of this show. I have waited too long for this to simply trust my very unreliable hippocampus. But if you enjoy this too, here it is (this post contains spoilers):

I had no idea what to expect for VHSCC. I wasn’t sure if the second act was going to be in costume, if they were going to do it sung through or do little out of character speeches before each song, if they were going to be acting like their characters or just performing their songs, etc. They did do it sung through but they were not in costume and they were mostly in character. I loved how they did it and I have no notes. I got digital tickets in both 2020 and 2021, and this was my favorite rendition of it. They seemed like they were having fun even in the serious moments and enjoying interacting with the audience on top of singing and dancing their faces off. I have nothing to say other than that it was fantastic and I wish I could see it like that again.

Brian as Tiny Tim made me laugh my ass off. Out of costume, a grown man acting like a sickly child is peak comedy. He came in riding piggyback on Joey, and Lauren reprised the thing where Emily is disgusted by Tim and pushes him away when he tries to touch her. Priceless in general was equal parts heartwarming and hilarious, which is exactly how it should be.

I know I already said this but it bears repeating: Dylan stole the damn show. Get that man on Broadway. I believed he was a crotchety old man, even out of costume, and he made me feel for Scrooge. There was not a single moment where his vocals faltered, and out of everyone he was the one who was most engaged with the audience. Seeing him perform live is truly an out of body experience.

Oddly specific, but I want to mention; Jaime’s Christmas Past came off as a little more gentle/kind than it has been in years past. Both versions of Christmas Past really worked, but the less harsh version was nice to see live. It sounded like she genuinely felt sorry for Scrooge on “she can’t hear it”, and she was trying to comfort him during That Scrooge. The nice thing about doing this show every year is that the actors can make tweaks as they see fit and we get to see it evolve. I hope little character choices like that continue to be made and changed.

Speaking of That Scrooge…Janaya. Girl. Stop being so damn talented. Brian, Dylan, and Jaime also killed it and That Scrooge is quickly becoming one of my favorite VHSCC songs (after Priceless and Three Spirits. I’m a sucker for a power ballad, okay?). Seriously, I’m really glad we have Janaya. I used to be scared when new Starkids were introduced, but that stopped after we got Angela because I realized the new faces are equally as incredible as the people I grew up with, and they don’t make it feel any less like a Starkid show (on the contrary, the new Starkids have become some of my favorites). Janaya is no exception.

Christmas Electricity was SO much fun to see live. I still feel like dancing just thinking about it. The energy in that room was indescribable. James has such great stage presence and command of his work, and his take on Christmas Present highlighted how great he is at working a crowd. This is another number that necessitates a mention of the dancing. I think most of the choreo was recycled from last year, which is fine because that choreo is iconic. I was seriously shocked by how incredible the dancing was. I don’t want to repeat myself but. Holy shit. Starkid dancing, guys.

Priceless was even more special live and out of costume. I forgot I was watching a show – it seemed like it was just a loving family vibing for three minutes straight, and I loved it, because the Starkid community does feel like family. The energy was just as high as during Christmas Electricity, but instead of making me want to dance it made me want to hug the person next to me. Also, Everyone’s vocals sounded incredible. I’m not sure if he’s doing it on purpose or if it’s just the way the harmonies worked out, but in every version of VHSCC, Joey has kind of stepped back and let Lauren shine (or maybe I’m just obsessed with Lauren Lopez lol). She killed it (again with the versatility!) and hearing “I’ll toast my hope that he DIEEEESSSSSS” live legitimately changed my brain chemistry. A note on the choreo - Joey and Lauren slow-dancing gave me visions of their wedding and I am the opposite of ok.

Unrelated to the performance, but I just want to give a shout-out to the audience. As someone seeing them live for the first time (and going to the show alone), I wasn’t sure what to expect. But within minutes of getting in line, I caught myself thinking “I’ve found my people”. Everyone was as excited and into it as I was and it made all the difference. Thank you, Starkid fans, for creating such a wonderful, positive, welcoming community.

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #40

Unexpectedly, I was out and about almost all day today.

I went first to the place with all the nice people. I brought the candied orange peels to share with everyone. The leader spoke today about the importance of being kind and welcoming to everybody. The notion of being inclusive and doing right by our fellow man instead of just paying lip service to love was spoken on. The balance between knowing that we are all scarred from life and also knowing that we are still indescribably beautiful was spoken on. The balance between knowing that we must be held accountable for our mistakes and strive to do better while also knowing that we are all inherently lovable and good was spoken on. Afterwards, the lovely gentleman who plays piano began to play a couple of different songs from Undertale; when I gave him the music box, he excitedly asked me to send along to him some video game song that he could learn to play. I had trouble deciding, so I made a list. You can find it here; maybe you'll enjoy some of these:

Since I only sent it to him yesterday, I wasn't expecting to hear any of what I sent today. Nonetheless, I was surprised and delighted to hear His Theme from Undertale being played on the piano! I was so moved that my eyes started leaking the water that I drank before leaving the house this morning, hahaha!

I was confused when he seemed ashamed of the few mistakes he made as he played. Mistakes are the natural result of effort; when the results of that effort produce joy, awe, and wonder without anyone getting hurt in the process, how can we spend so much energy focused on nitpicking how that effort was executed?

It's similar to watching someone who speaks a second language be ashamed of their accent; how do they not realize that the fact that they can even speak a second language at all is already amazing? Why focus on the accent instead of on the fact that you have the power to speak to so many more people, and on all the effort it took to get to the point that you can do such an incredible thing?

So the man who speaks music sometimes gets an, "I'm doing this on the fly to make someone else smile because I'm brave enough to do this unrehearsed" accent. It means that he might have to endure a harsh inner critic to put this smile on my face. How can I look at that and be anything other than awestruck? How can he look at himself and be anything other than awestruck by the kaleidoscopic vibrance of his own existence?

But then I realized that I fall into similar traps all the time; I lose track of "good enough" in my quest for "flawless" more often than I'd like, and sometimes the paralysis from this stops me from trying things in the first place.

Here's the thing, though: one of the most wonderful aspects about being alive is the fact that things don't need to be flawless or even complete for them to still be beautiful and perfect just the way they are. I wish that this was a thing that more people understood. I wish that this was a thing that I could understand better when it comes to myself or anything I do. I'll continue to work on it until I know it in my bones; it's important.

We returned home briefly, but then went out for pizza. It began to snow quite heavily outside along the way. I don't really like the snow, because the snow is cold and the cold makes my entire self hurt (for me, being touched with an ice cube hurts more than being burned on the stove), but I have a feeling that you might enjoy it, so after we returned home from pizza, I went right back outside to snag a few pictures for you. Here they are:

I hope you'll pay special attention to those last few photos. I hope you'll see that the snow angel with one wing is just as lovely as the snow angel with two. I hope you'll see that the one-winged snow angel still has a place beside the snow angel with two.

I hope you'll see that you don't have to be flawless or even complete in order to be lovable, worthy, and good just as you are. Because I'll tell you a secret - not a single living creature is flawless or complete, and that fact about us is the thing that makes us ALIVE.

Think about it - a thing that is already flawless and complete never has to learn, grow, or change. Only dead or inanimate or static things fit that description. Do also consider that it is in the learning, growing, and changing that we are at our best and most beautiful. It is within our flaws and shortcomings that we are perfect. The love that exists within the struggle to endure the necessary pain to become kinder, gentler, and more loving for the people around us is where we are the most perfect. We are at our most perfect when we are overcoming destructive childhood conditioning. We are at our most perfect when we are treating someone with love even as we are gently holding them accountable for their mistakes. Without our flaws, these things wouldn't exist. The capacity to strive to choose love over annihilation or oblivion would not exist. Light cannot exist without darkness to compare it to. We need both sides of the coin for our little pocket of SOMETHING in the vast sea of NOTHING to continue to exist. And that coin has to SPIN - CONSTANTLY - if it stops moving, it falls over, static, inanimate, lifeless, dead.

We are all works-in-progress for the entire duration of our existence - no matter how many fancy (or not-so-fancy) meat-mechs we cycle through. We spend all our time learning, unlearning, falling down, getting back up, being stuck in place, moving forward, getting hurt, being afraid, and loving things and being brave anyway. We are all prismatic contradictions woven together into a thermodynamic miracle, and somehow we still have the audacity to believe that we are ordinary or powerless or less-than-beautiful. If you look at that from the right angle… it'd almost be comical if it wasn't so sad.

It's almost like… like watching butterflies believe that all they'll ever be is primordial soup as they chill out in the darkness of their cocoon, not even able to fathom that the soup is necessary for the next step, not even able to fathom that there will even BE a next step. It's a little silly like that.

And when we're done, we return to where we can remember all we have been so we can incorporate what we've seen into the bigger picture. And when we go back to start a new cycle, we forget it all once more so that we can begin again, washed and fresh, with new and curious eyes, no matter how many cycles we've gone through before. And if that's not the most beautiful, refreshing, and perfect thing there is, I don't know what else it could be.

Here is another example of an artist who wraps up what I clumsily tried to say quite nicely. This one says it better than I can, and thankfully, this one is still alive:

I… think I will end this here. I feel a terrible, terrible headache coming on. It's gonna get hard to think soon. Maybe I'll just go to sleep.

Hey, stay safe out there, okay? You haven't tried everything yet. Please remember that you're lovable and good, even if you might not always feel or act in accordance with that fundamental truth.

I'll keep writing to you. Every day.

Your friend, Lumine