#how would you explain dash con?
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New tumblr users: oh so this is just a quirky little website where people post about their silly little fandoms?
Veteran tumblr user: bone stealing tumblr witch
New tumblr users: the what
#how to explain the lore#imagine explaining the Mishapocalypse to someone#or the muppetjoker#tumblr lore#mishapocalypse#muppet joker#bone stealing witch#tumblr bone theft drama#how would you explain dash con?#dash con#ball pit#dashcon#dashcon ballpit
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The Haunting of Danny Fention Chapter 4, Part 2
pls no editing or con crit. I am still sick and this is not edited. i keep choking on air. or my tongue. not fun either way... ANYWAYS!
Dick watched Wally pace back and forth, talking to himself. After Danny had fainted, the static interference had gotten worse, but at least Wally was still there. Dick couldn’t talk his eyes off his boyfriend.
Wally was still there.
Dick brushed his hands through Danny’s hair. They were on the couch, Danny asleep across Dick’s lap. A couch that had been shoved in a corner early on in the sciencing to try and make Danny take breaks. It seems they didn’t do a good enough job.
“Wally,” Dick tried. When he didn’t get through he tried again, louder. “Walls!”
“Yeah Da—Dick! Dick, holy shit,” Wally said and dashed to kneel in front of the couch. “I keep forgetting that — hear me and see — I can hear you! Dick, babe, god I missed you so damn much!”
“Yeah,” Dick said, almost choking on the lump of joy in his throat. “Yeah, I missed so much too. We’ll find a way to get you back out of there. I promise you that we will. Well, I mean, the other’s will mostly unless you need a daring, acrobatic rescue.”
“Hey,” Wally said, voice so soft it was hard to hear over the static. “Never — to a — cue from you. You’re my knight in —. Always.”
“Always,” Dick agreed. He let his head fall back against the couch. “Fuck I need to take this domino off before I fill it up with tears.”
“Even though—” Wally motioned to Danny.
“Yeah. It will be easier if we stop caring about hiding. Besides, daddy Bat looked Danny up, he really was a teen hero. If anyone can understand it, he can,” Dick pointed out. “Raven gave him the okay too. He does just want to help.”
“Wants to — much!” Wally ranted and threw his hands up into the air.
“Yeah, he does doesn’t he? He’ll fit right in with that,” Dick replied. At Wally’s glare he just laughed. “Don’t look at me like that. We’re all horrible. If we weren’t, you wouldn’t be stuck in the Speed Force.”
Wally’s face immediately fell at that. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be, you were doing what you do, being a hero. I’m just glad that we have a real shot at getting you back,” Dick said with a little shake of his head. “The others will tattle on me and how much I’ve not been okay, I’m sure.”
“You’ve got to — of yourself, Dick,” Wally said. “I need you to be — when I get back.”
“I will,” Dick promised. “I have been been trying to, it’s just been hard. And I’ll make sure to look after this idiot too. Though I’ll need your help, you seem to be able to sense how he is in a way that we can’t.”
“— been watching him for months. Also, Speed Froce,” Wally said. “He — help. He’s… a good person.”
“And someone you’re fond of, right? No, hey, don’t look ashamed. Sure, it’s been a while since either of us did anything with anyone else, but it’s not like we ever closed the our relationship up.”
Wally still glanced away. Rubbing nervously at his arm. It would be cute if it wasn’t a little heartbreaking. They’d had an open relationship because of Dick. Wally had dated a few other people and joined in the occasional threesome, but nothing like Dick’s clubbing hay days. This was maybe something they should have talked about once Dick had started to settle down more.
“Just — only person I could see and hear. I — and I guess that —” Wally tried to explain.
“Walls, I’ve been dating you for how long? I know what you look like when you’re crushing,” Dick said. “And it’s okay.”
Wally cleared his throat and tried to pretend like he wasn’t blushing. “— blame me? He’s — black hair and blue eyes and is compassionate and smart! — my type, like you should know!”
Dick just laughed. A warm, deep laugh like he hadn’t been able to do while Wally was gone. God it was so good to have him back, even if it wasn’t all the way yet. “Okay, well, Danny sees absolutely out of it, so how about I call the others down so that they can see you? They might stab me if I keep you all to myself.”
“Yes!” Wally agreed so eagerly that Dick had his phone out in and instant to message the other Titans, weird glitchy picture of Wally grinning wildly included.
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I want to spread a rumor about Emil cheating, make sure nobody knows it was me, then act all mad at him and punish him for it
Also ygs better square up Cherros anon and Jerry anon
-🐕🦺
ive been craving to hurt emil. rofan villain reader my beloved, a cute husband to bully and all his money 🥰
cw;; abuse, cheating, non-con (implied), gaslighting, angst
the nobles always talk, talk, talk. it's not odd for them to spread meaningless gossip. it's odd when unsubstantiated gossip makes it into the most popular newspaper in the capital and becomes the headline on everyone's lips. that took your whole allowance at the information guild but it was worth it to see your husband's face now.
the pictures were the best touch, you really should thank the guild master later. undeniable evidence of emil being intimate with one of his maids was sitting in front of him on the desk. his advisor was cautiously scolding him for ruining his reputation that he had just started to build up. the image of loving husband dashed in an instant. he started to raise his voice his hand pounding on the table in anger. that was your cue.
you threw the door of the office open with force.
"emil! are you going to explain yourself? why are all my maids talking about you ch-"
your eyes caught the images, you hadn't actually seen them yet. god they were good, they made you actually feel a bit sick to see. perfect.
".... what is that?"
you watch his face drop as all his anger melts into panic. poor bastard tries to cover up the images.
"this doesn't concern you."
"... you're fucking one of your maids?"
the accusation burns his heart and he feels like he's going to be sick. he tries to cover the images more.
"this doesn't-" thwack!
you slap him across the face as hard as you can, your wedding ring leaving an imprint on his cheek.
"everyone get out. i need to speak to my husband privately."
his servants and advisors scurried out of there, afraid of the situation about to play out, only your right hand maid stayed. she closed the behind the last person to leave, locking it for you. you let out a heavy sigh as you leaned against his desk, your hand rubbing your temples. emil didn't look up, his eyes wide but you could see there was fear in them even with his head hung.
you picked up one of the pictures, one where the maid was clearly caught in the middle of having sex with him. you'd been out of the capital a few weeks ago for an event in your home kingdom. really it was just an excuse to let the guild master do what he needed. he really exceeded your expectations. it was hard not to smile.
"i don't remember doing that, please believe me."
"oh?" you set the picture down and shot him a glare. "just because you don't remember fucking her i should forgive you? what about kissing her? what about pushing her against the window behind you?"
"i-"
he watched helplessly as you picked up one of the pictures, your hand shaking. oh, when you got your hands on the royal treasury you were going to drown the guild master in gold. you had told him about emil's hatred for letting you leave the palace grounds, how emil wouldn't even take you to the cafe you so desperately wanted to go to. and here was a picture of him in the same cafe with the maid.
"what is this?"
"i-i don't know."
you forced your face to scrunch up in anger despite how excited you were. you were going to enjoy this too much. you turned to your maid who was still standing by the door.
"do you have my riding crop?"
"yes, your highness." she presented it to you and you handed her the picture of him at the cafe in exchange.
"what would you do if you were in my position?"
"i would ask for a divorce, your highness."
"no-"
emil's poor voice cracked but all he got was another glare.
"then I suppose I'm being merciful, right?"
"you are far too kind to that cheating filth, your highness."
you walked over to stand beside emil who already looked so broken and frightened. you ran your riding crop up his cheek.
"take your shirt off. unless you would rather the divorce?"
emil's body slipped to the ground as his knees gave out underneath him. tears started to stream from his eyes like the dam had finally broken.
"please, dont leave me, please, please."
you nudged him with the riding crop.
"shirt. off."
his hands were shaking as he started to unbutton his shirt.
#replies#yandere king#🐕🦺 anon#sub yandere#yandere x male reader#yandere oc#male reader#top male reader#yandere x reader
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Holiday Reunion

Day 5: Family
Pairing: Stanley Pines x GN! Reader
Summary: The kids are coming back to Gravity Falls for their winter break. Stan is nervous introducing them to you.
Gravity Falls Masterlist!
Celestial's 25 Days of Christmas!
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Stan hurried around the house, his heart pounding. He and Ford were back in town for the Holidays. He had also decided to bring you along. "[Name], have you seen my Fez? I wanna wear it when we see the kiddos again." Stan asked, digging through the boxes. He heard you laugh and come over, before placing something on his head.
"Soos gave it to me a few minutes ago. I think he knew you would be looking for it." You replied.
Stan smiled and looked at you, "Have I told you how much I loved you, Doll?"
"Not nearly enough as you should." You replied, folding you arms.
It was Stan's turn to let out a chuckle, "Fair 'nough. Now come on, the kids will be here soon! You'll love 'em! Mabel will probably like you."
You, Stan, and Ford had met a few months back. He and his brother were docked and restocking when he saw you conning a con man. For Stan, it was love at first sight.
He didn't hesitate in asking you out, he saved the whole getting to know you part for the date. Part of him was glad he did, because he somehow fell even harder when you grabbed his hand and dine and dashed.
He had to beg Ford to let you come with them. Stan would rather have his memory wiped again than let you go! Ford caved, and the duo became a trio. You reacted surprisingly well to the paranormal.
Ford took a while to warm up to you, He didn't hesitate to give you a shovel talk, but when you saved Stan from a Sirin... Yeah you got Ford's approval pretty Damn Quick.
And now, Stan was taking a massive risk in introducing you to Mabel and Dipper. He loved those kids, and he wanted them to approve of you two before you two actually got serious.
"Any Time, Stan. Now Come on, let's go. They'll be here any second." You reminded, getting your Jacket on.
Stan nodded, "Yeah, Yeah. I hear ya. Let's go." Stan Grabbed your hand and began dragging you to the bus stop. His heart was beating hard and fast. He was convinced that he was going to keel over from a heart attack.
You, Stan, and Ford all chatted as you waited for the Kids' bus to arrive. It was about an hour later.
Stan took a deep breath, straightening out his Jacket. Mabel and Dipper stepped off the bus. They were both Grinning widely. Stan had gone into great detail explaining everything about his Great Niece and Nephew.
You could tell Stan really cared about those kids. It warmed your heart.
"Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Ford!" Mabel called, hurrying over to hug them. A Pig trailed after her. "Grunkle, huh?" You teased. Stan's face warmed up.
Mabel and Dipper looked at you.
"Uh... whose that?" Dipper asked, looking at Stan. You saw Mabel put the dots together fairly quickly. "Oh my Stars! Grunkle Stan you dog!" Mabel called, hurrying over to greet you. "Hi! Hello! I'm Mabel! This Cutie pie is Waddles!" She introduced herself, shaking you hand violently. You laughed gently, seeing Stan let out a sigh of Relief out of the corner of your eye. "Nice to Meet you Mabel and Waddles. I'm [Name], Stan's partner." You said gently. Mabel let out a Squee. Ford laughed, taking the kids and leading them to the Shack. "What was that about her probably liking me?" You teased. Stan rolled his eyes, holding your hand. "Yeah, Well, she wasn't the one I was worried about in the first place."
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a/n: These challenged are all about expanding my writing prowess, and that also means filling out my masterlists so not all of them are as empty as they have been
#fanfic#fanfiction#x reader#x gender neutral reader#x gn reader#gravity falls#gravity falls x reader#gravity falls x gn reader#gravity falls x gender neutral reader#gn reader#gender neutral reader#Stan pines#Stanley Pines#Stan Pines x reader#Stanley Pines x Gender neutral reader#Stan Pines x GN reader#celestials writing
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Im loving this naga stuff sm omg and it’s got me thinking.
What if they were to leave reader for a few minutes, only for someone to find them and maybe try and take them back? Or them just talking to the reader in general
Had an idea for a scenario with Ghost! Thanks for requesting ^-^
Warnings: Yandere, Sexual Content (Attempted Non-Con), Violence (Death of minor character, Brutal Death), Monsters
»»———————— ♡ ————————««
"Thank-- Thanks!"
You barely had the breath to utter a word, but neither did your savior, coughing and panting in front of you. If it hadn't been for the fact that you two were racing through the forest mindlessly, "escaping" being the drive to keep you running, you might have expressed your thankfulness a little more. This had to do for now. Even though you two still weren't in the comfort of a town with big, sturdy walls and guards with weapons, you had gotten quite far in your mad dash through the thicket, every inch away from the hell that was the lair you had been kidnapped to, feeling like you were finally free.
"Thank you so much!" you croaked, your voice hoarse and your mouth dry despite sweating profusely. "You can't imagine," you added, swallowing hard as your throat stung. "That monster in the woods... that... snake... it captured me and held me there for some reason. I wouldn't have been able to escape without you!"
The man—a hunter or soldier, you reckoned, considering he knew the forest so well—waved his hand dismissively, stretching out his back and taking deep breaths, collecting himself.
"Please, anyone would help when they found someone in such a dire situation as you were," he comforted you. You tried to smile through the pain aching through your whole body, the impromptu workout rattling every bone after weeks of being carried around and doing nothing.
Steadily, the man was regaining his composure, so you tried your best to keep up, not wanting to look lousy in front of your savior. He looked around, scanning the area, before pointing his finger somewhere further south and turning towards you. "There's a hut just a few minutes from here. It's getting dark, and we should stay out of sight in case we're being followed. What do you say?"
Gulping, you wished his suggestion had been more like, "The city is just a few more steps from here. Let's take shelter behind a safe stone wall full of guards and trained soldiers to protect you." Then again, you wouldn't be as ungrateful to his efforts as to suggest you two kept going until you could truly settle into the safety and protection of civilization. You didn't want to stay one more night out in the forest, but a hut sounded better than to be found wandering out and about in his habitat.
There was a lot to unpack, and you weren't sure if you'd ever get over what happened to you. Still, when your savior closed the wooden door, drew the curtains over the windows, and handed you a blanket to bundle up, you felt like the first step towards healing had been made. A fire might have given away your presence, so you wrapped the blanket tightly around you. However, it was barely enough to cover everything, your legs sticking out if you didn't pull them against your chest.
It wasn't comfy or warm, but it was the first time you truly realized you made it out. Things had been rough living with that thing. People would call your stories crazy if you talked about a strong half-man, half-snake, feeding you raw meat and occasionally fruits while keeping you coiled in his tail. They'd think you'd gone mad if you told them about the white, skull-like marks on his body and face or how he'd bury his face in the crook of your neck, jittering happily. The worst part was that he couldn't speak to you, even though you thought he tried a few times, but there were no words spoken between you two ever. You couldn't explain his intentions or thoughts to anyone, not even yourself.
For a while, you two sat in silence, breaths calming down. The man handed you some dried meat and his water flask, sharing what little he had, and you gobbled it up with your gratitude, thanking him again and again. You could feel him watching you, even through the darkness inside the hut, but you thought nothing of it. He must have been concerned for this stranger he found in a ditch, hidden away, crying and begging for help when he passed by accidentally and took them on a run through the thicket. All while they kept whining about some monster kidnapping them. It sounded crazed and suspicious even to you, but you were glad he listened to his heart and helped you despite the wild story behind your misery.
"Thank you so much," you mumbled again, unable to stop thanking him. Tears welled up in your eyes as the realization of your escape settled further, something you had started to fear wouldn't ever be possible after so many days spent with the monster. You sobbed quietly as the relief washed over you in big waves, wishing you could stop and not look so pathetic in front of a stranger. However, he put his arm around your shoulder, drawing you into his chest, and you could no longer hold back your ugly crying.
It felt good to be held again in a warm embrace, hands patting your head, your back. It was different from the claws and scales, the sensations only ever bringing you terror. Instead, you were comforted by the humanness of the kind stranger, so much better than what you had come to know from the monster. Palms rubbed soothing circles between your shoulder blades, and arms that were strong but not as firm as your captors hugged you tenderly. His touch warmed all of your back, fingers slowly dipping lower, massaging the soreness in your muscles until they ended up above your ass, making you jolt.
"Sorry," you apologized, wiping your eyes as you tried to slide away, thinking it was a mistake where his hand landed. However, the arm around your shoulder didn't budge as you tried to slip out, his other hand creeping up your leg instead, brushing aside the blanket.
"I don't mind," the stranger muttered, leaning forward. His nose brushed against your hair, and you heard him taking a deep breath, inhaling your scent that you didn't even want to know what it smelled like. Immediately, goosebumps erupted all over you, your body tensing under his touch as you turned stiff as a board.
"How about you thank me some other way since we'll be stuck here together all night? Let's take some of that tension off you, shall we?"
You could hear the disgusting grin on the man's lips and knew exactly what he was suggesting. Your eyes darted to the door, knowing where it was even in the darkness. Only a small bolt locked it from the inside, and as the stranger's hand crept higher on your thigh, fingers pressing and massaging the flesh, you were planning your way out frantically. The sound of him letting out a long, satisfied sigh was enough to finally put your plans into action while you were filled with disgust.
"Please stop!" you pleaded, pressing your hands to his chest. Still hoping to find reason within him. You cursed the monster for actively encouraging you to do as good as nothing while it had captured you, all your muscles seemingly evaporated as you couldn't even push him an inch away from you.
"Come on, don't I deserve a reward?"
"No! Not like this, please! I don't want that!"
"Don't be like that now! I helped you, didn't I?"
Panic made your blood pound in your mind, pumping you full of adrenaline that you thought had all been emptied out while you ran from your captor. You hadn't realized the man's thoughts, disgusting, vile, and opportunistic, no different from the monster you were with before. But if you had to choose, you chose neither.
Luck was in your favor, and as the man tried to topple you over, the barely helpful blanket gave you a chance to slide out from under him, your nails scratching over the floor as you got to your feet, dashing towards the door. He tried to get up after you, though he wasn't as quick and found less hold on the ground, so you had time to find and unbolt the lock with shaky hands; your breath uneven as you tore open the door and ran into the dark night.
The small clearing before the hut was eerily quiet, but with your blood rushing in your ears, you didn't notice the absence of sounds. Unfortunately, that was also where you ran out of luck, your foot getting stuck on a root, tripping you over badly.
"Come back here, you idiot!" the stranger whisper-yelled after you. On one hand, he had a point: neither of you should be out at this hour, causing a ruckus. But you were way past reason as you knew that going back there would mean he'd do something to you, one way or another. You had escaped one monster, but your fellow human was no better than one. Different, yet just as harmful.
"It was just a joke! Come back here right now! You're getting us--"
His voice was cut off, and you didn't hear his steps behind you anymore, confusion forcing you to look back over your shoulder as you stumbled to your feet. Clouds seemed to break open at the exact moment that you looked at him, letting the moonlight through as you found your footing in a daze, furrowing your brows as you noticed the stranger not staring at you.
His mouth hung open, head tilted back, his eyes wide and filled with unimaginable terror. You were appalled yet intrigued by what he saw when your body crashed into a wall, the unmistakable feeling of scales rubbing over your skin. There was nowhere to run as the elongated body you knew too well started to wrap and tighten around you, a large hand sinking to your back, its palm covering it protectively, keeping you pressed against the monster you initially ran from, his black scales enveloping you in darkness.
"It's- It's real," the man mumbled, his voice turning into yelling as he continued in a ramble, "It's real! It's actually real!"
All you could do was shiver as you heard the man laugh manically behind you. As if he hadn't believed you until he saw the monster you had described. You didn't know what was better: running away alone, staying with the beast, or being with the stranger. Every one of these options made your gut churn. How did he even find you? How could he catch up so quickly despite you two running all day? When you ran out of the hut, you hadn't even seen a shadow, much less a body, so where had the monster come from?
The creature leaned down, his humanoid upper body hovering over you, palm pressing you against him a little more. And in what you could only describe as monstrous comfort, you felt a rumble go through him, soft and even, his thumb brushing over your back. It was different from the comforting touch of the stranger, but no less ill-willed and a lure into more danger. Even when the monster tried to seem less like the bad guy, you knew it was far from the truth. The trust he attempted to pull out from your subconscious as he protected you, was misplaced and unwarranted. His hands were cold, his body abnormally. Like a ghost, sending shivers down your spine and spooking you to your very core.
Behind its purr and comfort, he was still a monster.
You gasped and flinched—hard—when you heard his tail slam into the ground, the maniacal laughter dying instantly and being replaced by the cracking of bones and splashing of flesh. You didn't dare to look back, couldn't stomach a glance at the dead body smashed into pulp behind you.
Even when the monster picked you up, your arms wrapping around his thick neck instinctively as you had so many times before, your mind ordered you to be compliant, but you couldn't stop shivering. You didn't want to submit to the monster, nor did you want to end up smashed and dead as well. Just like before, you cried into the shoulder of your savior pitifully as he carried you back into the dark forest, clawing onto you and not giving you the same lucky chance to slide out of his grasp.
He carried you for a long time at a leisure place, ducking under branches and brushing away thorny bushes, and only then did you realize how far you had come—how close you were to escaping the creature. The despair tore your sanity into pieces. He had no hurry while carrying you back, but when he sunk underground, the moonlight fading from your sight, you knew it was hopeless.
The monster laid you down into soft furs, the darkness surrounding you a familiar threat, forcing you to experience every touch and every sound much more intense than before. It had never spoken to you in all the time you two were together, but it didn't let you forget it was there. His face rubbed against yours, tongue lapping at the pulse in your throat, and he purred and hummed, his tail coiling around your leg, scales scrapping over your skin.
He rested his face against your throat, taking a deep, audible breath, and you thought back to the man who had tried to save you, doing the same. Monsters, you thought. Monsters, all of them.
"M-- Mhm--" you suddenly heard, feeling the vibration in the creature's chest, and you held your breath, the sound almost familiar, like a voice.
"Mat-- Ma-tsss--" Slowly, the pronunciation got clearer, strained and uncanny as it was, followed by a hissing sound. You couldn't help the goosebumps on your skin, the scales tightening around you as they felt the change, imprisoning your limbs while the monster kept trying to speak in an unfamiliar tongue.
You saw the glint of his eyes hovering above you, something dripping down onto your cheek. You had no way of knowing what it was, but by the sounds of straining, you guessed it was drool as the monster tensed and flexed his jaw for more mobility. You could only stare in wonder and fear alike.
"Wha-- What?" you uttered, confused and agitated by the whole situation, frightened and unsure what to make of it.
"Mi-- Mine," it finally stammered out, and time seemed to halt as you stared, bewildered. It had never said a coherent word to you, much less did you think it understood your talking. But as the darkness and silence carried one, he repeated it, and you felt like, finally, everything was beginning to make sense.
"Mate. Mine."
#ghost#ghost cod#yandere ghost#yandere!ghost#cod#call of duty#yandere cod#yandere call of duty#yandere!cod#yandere!call of duty#yandere#yandere imagines#yandere headcanons#yandere scenarios#yandere fanfiction#yandere writing#yandere stories#yandere oneshots#yandere oneshot#yandere drabble#yandere x reader#yandere x darling#Yandere TW
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hello ^^, i saw your secret soulmate au about craig, i don't have the words to explain how much i giggled, twirled my hair and everything XD! well, when you have the time, could you do a craig x clyde x reader smut? of course, if you feel comfortable with it! reader can be female or gn. it's practically normal smut but just craig fucking the reader from behind and clyde from the front, so that's it! tysm for reading, i love your writing too! <33 -✨️ Anon (I'm still new to tumblr so i might get confused on some things sometimes!)
Completely understandable, I too am confused with how tumblr works and I've been on this godless site since fucking Dash Con. I'm glad you liked the way I wrote those dorks! And thank you for fueling my Clyde agenda!
Warning: NSFW, Strong-Language, Dirty Talk, Slight Sub/Dom dynamics, blow jobs, orgasm denial, threesome
Pairing: Clyde x Fem!Reader x Craig

The sweet air of the votives swirls around the empty church. Empty except for the dim orange and red light that illuminates the book in the man's hand.
A woman at his feet, clothed in fine silks. A mix of reds and whites that twine together. Beautiful patterns of stars flow across the dress.
She dips her head in prayer alongside the man. The father of the church glides his fingers across her cheek as her mouth closes. Reciting scriptures of one's devotion for an unseen God. Everything in that moment was peaceful.
The warmth in the Father's eyes doesn't go unnoticed, the greens darken with a desire that he knows better than to have. It's difficult to hide the growing ache in his pants. More so when the woman's lips curl into a mischief smile, the warm glow of the candles makes them shine with an otherworldly glow. She looks up at him and her eyes fall deep into those pools of lust. Her hands break apart from that folded prayer and onto his black dress pants. They card up further against his thighs where they settle and clutch the material.
"Father, bless me...", a whisper that makes the Father groan.
Temptation never looked so sweet. This woman made his chest pound. Unholy thoughts flood his mind and go straight to his-
You let out a loud groan. Your forehead drops and hits the table beside your keyboard. The forgotten mug with now cold tea rattles.
Writer’s block, the very bane of any author’s existence. It's been haunting you for weeks now, making it impossible to get anything done. You've been stuck on this part of your romance novel the entire time. A part you were so excited to get to!
The buildup was perfect! You had calculated, plotted, and carefully crafted a budding romance between a witch and a holy man. A forbidden romance that took place within the walls of the church, the furthest outside the walls it went were the gardens that surrounded the area. The two fell in love after he saved her from the townsfolk claiming sanctuary.
Inspiration struck you like lightning after you fell in love with your partners. After publishing a sci-fi series, that honestly changed the name of how science fiction would be written forever, you met two fans at a book signing event. You had made a surprise appearance at a local library in some little town called South Park. Coming from the big city yourself, it was a huge surprise that anyone in the little town would actually be a fan of yours.
Apparently, you had quite a few. A man with bright red hair who had a black-haired man following alongside him. Both gushed about how the story inspired some kind of board game they played with their friends. A sweet blond woman who had the cutest southern accent you've ever heard. She gave you a piece of fan mail that had the most adorable sticker on it. Another black-haired man who dressed as Spock for some reason. He went on for a solid thirty minutes about a fanfic he wrote regarding the main character of your book and Star Trek's very own Captain Kirk.
Finally came the oddest duo you had ever met. The two were like day and night, a cat and a dog, fire and ice; the whole nine yards. A bright smile with baby brown eyes on one, and an ice-cold deadpan look with amber eyes to match on the other. At first you thought the brown-haired one was your fan and the man with the blue hat was just along for the ride.
"Haha! No way! I'm not into that..." He paused as if to stop himself from saying something he shouldn't, "...kinda stuff."
"That kind of stuff?" You repeat back at him, raising a brow.
"He means reading. He doesn't know how." The other spoke putting a hand on top of his head. With a little push he forced the brown-haired man's head down.
You giggled at that. The protests coming from the poor man was comical. You almost felt sorry for him, watching him struggle to move the taller man's hand off.
"Then I take it I'm signing this book out to you?" With a click of your pen, you look up at him.
The NASA jacket on the bright blue sleeves of his jacket should have given it away honestly. There's was a small tinge of a blush on his tan cheeks, almost hidden under the skin tone but you were able to make it out under the light. He looked away for a moment before nodding at you.
"Yeah."
"Name?"
"His name is Craig! He's a huge fan of yours by the way! So, if you could write something sweet for him that'd be awesome!" His friend chirped at you as he broke free from Craig's grip.
Craig's face twisted, those piercing eyes of his narrowed down. Before he could reach and grab him, the brown-haired man slid behind your chair. Putting his hand on your chair, he bent down to your level and tapped the blank white page.
"As you can see my big guy has a baaaaaad case of resting bitch face."
"Clyde..." the warning that slipped out of Craig's mouth made a shiver roll down your spine. It was even directed at you, and you felt threatened.
"So, you gotta imagine my surprise when he came home smiling! I was shocked! He didn't even smile when we started going out!" Clyde ignored him, an attest to his bravery. Or foolishness. Either way he continued, leaning down next to your ear. "Your book made him so happy, so it makes me happy. Think you could do that for me? Because he'll never ask you to do it for him."
You look up at him for a while, not even bothered that he had gotten closer to your face as he spoke. The browns in his eyes flickered with mischief but there were layers of love behind them. Chocolate that seemed to melt into tiny hearts when he spoke about Craig. It was honestly sweet, even if he was trying to tease his partner.
"How can I say no to that? I'd love to." You smiled at him and began writing on the empty page.
Yeah, who would have thought that fate would tie you to those two like that. Falling in love with Craig and Clyde was nothing like what they wrote in books or movies. It was a tornado of events that landed you in the eye of it all.
Despite their polar opposite personalities and looks, the two worked off each other well. Then when you got thrown in the middle, you filled in a little spot they desperately needed.
Clyde was social enough for the three of you. He was the one who reminded you and Craig that you needed to get out of the house. When you lock yourself away in your office, he would drag you out with a fun date idea. Movie nights, football games, arcade dates, and his favorite late-night walks. Doing the same to Craig who always seemed buried in work.
Craig gave off such scary dog privilege that you and Clyde never felt threatened. You could take those late-night walks with Clyde because you knew nothing would touch you with Craig following close behind.
That was nice sure, but under that scary looking shell was a soft teddy bear of a man. While he wasn't vocal with affection like Clyde, he was observant. Craig remembered everything, everything about you and Clyde's interests. If he saw something you mentioned in passing it was yours. Clyde needed new shoelaces because the ones on his favorite pair of red shoes were tearing? There was a new pack waiting for him on the table. You complained about the shift key on your keyboard sticking too much? An adorable keyboard that looked like a typewriter was found on your desk the next morning.
Then there was you. You have no idea how these two survived this long without you. Truth be told they don't either. Craig and Clyde couldn't cook to save their lives. Their diet consisted of diner food and Chinese takeout. While their house was clean enough, laundry was never put away or folded. Clyde was horrible at putting his dirty laundry in the bin and Craig was too tired most nights to even make it to bed. The final straw was when you took a shower, and their only soap was 3 in 1.
Absolutely not.
So, when you moved in things changed. When Craig was at work, you would take Clyde grocery shopping. Slowly you started him on simple dishes, working with him until he was comfortable in the kitchen. What was surprising was that he took to it quickly. He was a natural and before you knew it, he was cooking things you had never heard of. He had gone as far as looking up Peruvian dishes, practicing with spices and techniques that had your mouth watering. When you asked how he learned to do all of this, he gave you the biggest grin and told you it was YouTube.
When Craig came home that night to Chupe de Camarones it was the closest to crying you've ever seen from him.
Clyde really stepped up after that, feeling a sense of pride in taking care of you two. Seeing as you worked just as hard as Craig did. Clyde proclaimed something about being more than happy to be a malewife.
In return Craig started taking better care of himself, actually starting to care about his health. He stopped staying up so late and made use of the giant bed. Clean sheets and blankets that felt good on his skin. Even better that you and Clyde would be in it waiting for him. Clyde long passed out on your chest, a bit of drool sliding down the side of his face and onto your shirt. Not that you seemed to care as you just continued to read next to the little bedside lamp. Only pausing when you felt Craig's presence in the doorway.
Craig's smiles were rare, little treats from the universe to you. Ones like these where he smiles with love in his eyes. Where he kicks off his shoes and strips down to his boxers, crawling into bed next to you. Arms wrapping around Clyde and with a hand settling on your hips. A silent squeeze lets you know it's time to put the book down and join him.
How can you say no to a smile like that?
Of course, not every day was perfect. Your relationship took time to hash out. It was different being with two individuals at the same time, but you made it work. The three of you were committed to one another.
Now if only you could commit to this fucking scene.
Your head’s little meet and greet with the table must have been louder than you thought because whatever Clyde was yelling about in the living room stopped. It was one of the rare weekends where Craig was home and off work. Choosing to spend it watching some show with Clyde, listening to the man ramble on about something.
So wrapped up in your thoughts, you let out a scream when you finally lift your head and Clyde is right there beside you. His body bent over just like the day you met him. With his hand on the back of your chair and his face next to yours. Except instead of using, you as a shield from Craig, he's reading your computer screen.
While he doesn't understand what it takes to be an author, he sees the effect it has on you. Days like this where you take on the posture of a shrimp, forgetting to come out to eat.
His lips start pursed, but as he continues to scan over the screen they break out into a smirk. He covers his mouth in a fake surprise, a gasp with widened eyes.
"Babe! This is...scandalous! Spicy, naughty even! What are you doing writing something like this?" His dramatic act continues, forming some feign surprise.
"What are you doing using words with more than one syllable?" You shoot back with a little smirk.
It takes everything in your power not to laugh at the actual pout on his face. Try as you might, the giggles escape your lips, and it makes him smirk. He leans down and nuzzles his nose into your cheek.
"Maybe you're starting to rub off on me babe! I'm getting smarterer with you around!" You know he said that word wrong on purpose, just to get under your skin.
But he kisses you quiet before you can say anything. Holds your face in his hands so you can't pull away. You can taste the cherry chapstick on his lips, and the growing smile along with it.
"So, what's got you bashing your head into your desk baby? Craig and I heard a thump and got worried." He moves the kisses towards your forehead.
"Was it that loud?"
"Heard it over the tv." Craig's voice almost makes you leap out of your skin.
You bite your lip, looking down at the keyboard with a distant stare. The faded green and blue, spots where your fingers had smudged away the paint from typing so much.
"I'm just having trouble with this scene. I've been stuck on it for weeks now." You exhale softly.
Craig raises a brow and leans down on the other side of you. Both Clyde and Craig bent over to take a look at your screen. You're not sure why the fact both men reading your unfinished work makes you feel nervous, but it does. Or maybe it's the fact this is your first time writing a spicy scene like this.
"It's good. Never would have thought you'd go the Priest kink route." Craig says it so matter of fact, there's never hesitation in his voice. You can count on one hand the number of times you've seen him flustered, and even then, his tone is flat.
"I-I’m not into it! I just- you guys are only reading a snippet of my book! There's been a romance blossoming between the two the whole time!" You try to defend yourself, but it only makes Clyde's lips tug into a smirk.
The temptation to tease you was too great, it was being handed to him on a silver platter. Clyde leans up and walks next to Craig, leaning into his chest. The man wraps his arms around himself and lets out a dramatic sigh.
"A forbidden love! A tale as old as time! But what I wanna know babe-" Clyde stops and lets the tension build. It makes you glare at him as you turn in your office chair. "-is why the witch's descriptions are reaaaally close to mine."
"That's a woman Clyde! She's got short brown hair because it was cut off when she was running from the townsfolk! Brown eyes are common and beautiful! There's not enough representation for them!"
"Aaaaaand her dimples?" He points to his, the little spots in his cheeks that sink in when he smiles. "Plus, my eyes are totally beautiful."
"It's not you!"
"Oh, and the Father isn't Craig. Tan skin, black hair? You gave the Father green eyes but other than that, it fits Craig to a T." Craig actually nods along with what Clyde is saying. He's got his eyes closed as if this is some kind of philosophical debate.
"Are you serious right now Clyde?! This is why you two aren't allowed in my study!" Your face was burning now, hot and flushed from his teasing.
"What did I do?" Craig breaks the little fight with a simple question.
"Nodding your head along! You know what he's doing and you're encouraging it!"
"So, you took inspiration from your partners in your romance story. It's cute." He responds with a shrug. He looks down at Clyde who's still smugly leaning against his chest.
Your mouth falls open, you go to respond but nothing makes its way out. Your brows furrow. Arms crossed under your chest in a pout.
Had you unintentionally based your characters off your partners? Is that why the romance novel was easy to write up until this point?
Whatever the case may be here, you didn't like being called out. So, you do what you always do when they get like this, you turn in your chair and ignore them.
Usually this works, let's them know that you're not in the mood for their games. That you'd rather be left alone than entertain another minute of their shenanigans. But this time Clyde wasn't going to let you go. He grabs the back of your seat and wheels you back towards him and Craig.
"Baaaaabe don't pout. Look I'm sorry~." No, he's not. "But hey I've got an idea."
You let out a little huff, enough to where he knows you're not actually mad at him. If you were you would have picked your chair up and walked it back to your desk. Instead, you sit there and wait for him to continue.
"You're stuck on that scene, but I think you need a break. Sitting here and bashing your head against the table isn't going to fix that. Soooo..." He trails off, moving to stand in front of you.
His fingers glide across the side of your face, cupping your cheek so gently. Clyde guides your face up to look at him, behind that cocky smile of his he's got such love for you in his eyes. The way his thumb brushes across your cheek, making your heart flutter so slightly.
"What do you say Craig and I help you out a little babe?" Clyde guides your face up towards him. He presses his thumb against your lips just as his voice dips into that playful whisper.
You raise a brow at him in response. It's not until Craig puts his hand on your shoulders, that you piece together this wasn't just his idea. Thumbs pressed into your muscles working out the knots and tension. For such a hard worker, somehow Craig's hands always stay so soft. The worn-out oversized t-shirt you stole does little against his hands. The material is thin from how often it's been washed and worn.
His hands pull a soft moan from you, it feels too good to keep yourself silent. Clyde pushes his thumb past your lips and into your mouth, the digit presses down on your soft pink tongue. He all but purrs when watches you wrap your lips around it.
"See...let's work out some of that tension. We'll make you feel real good and give you a little inspiration." Clyde hums as he pulls his thumb out, smearing the saliva across your lips.
When he doesn't continue, you realize he's waiting for your confirmation. Waiting for you to agree to their little plan. But that doesn't stop Craig from bending down and placing a kiss on your cheek. He trails the kisses down to your jawline, using his nose to nudge your head to the side. Lulling your head to the side, you gave into the feeling. Craig's lips move to capture the exposed skin. You can feel just how eager he is from the way the kisses turn to nips then to full on bites. His teeth sinking into the soft parts of your flesh pulling another sharp gasp from you.
"Come on honey. Let us take care of you." After he's done leaving small love bites on your neck, Craig moves to your ear nipping the shell.
"Y-yeah that sounds...that sounds good." You move your hands up towards Craig, running your fingers through his hair. One of the rare moments he's not sporting his blue hat. "I could use a little break..."
"That's our girl." Clyde's praise goes straight to your core. He lifts you up from your office chair, hands cupping the back of your thighs for support. They give your thighs a little squeeze, digging his fingertips into your flesh.
Craig moves out of his way and goes to push your office chair back towards your desk. Clyde chuckles softly seeing the confused look on your face. Instead of protesting you wrap your arms around the brunette lazily throwing your arms around his neck.
"We're supposed to be relaxing, we're gonna get nice and comfy on the couch." He drops you down on the couch, making you bounce a bit. He laughs when you let out a gasp of surprise.
"You ass." Your grumbles fall on deaf ears. Clyde just runs his fingers through your hair and gives it a harsh tug. It makes you cry out, craning your neck up towards him.
"Sweetheart, that's not very nice. You're being a brat right now." He tuts, feigning disappointment.
"You dropped me on the-" You suck in another cry when he tugs your head to the side, that firm grip on your roots sending a shiver down your spine.
"Hm? You were saying something? I did what?"
Clyde's smug little smirk made your blood boil. But his fingers in your hair felt too good to protest further. Especially when he switched between tugging and massaging his fingertips into your scalp. You watched his eyes flicker from yours to behind you. Before you could turn around to get a glimpse of what he was staring at, Craig's hands slid down your back.
Gently, much more than Clyde, he pushes you down towards Clyde. His other hand comes down to grab your ankle, pulling your leg back towards him. Once your knee is tucked against the couch, he does the same to the other leg.
If your face wasn't burning up before it certainly is now. Just as you go to hold yourself up with your hands, Clyde removes his hand from your hair and takes you by the wrist. Guiding you up towards him, he places them on the hems of his sweatpants. The grey university sweatpants do little to hide his hardening cock, you watch it twitch against the fabric.
"This is about where you left off right? She was about to take the Father's cock out of his pants?" Clyde says watching as you slowly pull his sweatpants down. He lets out a low chuckle that turns into a moan when you slip your fingers around his cock. "That's it, now keep your eyes on me baby."
There's a moment of hesitation as you bring the tip closer to your mouth. The bright red tip glides across your plump lips begging for you to open. His hand returns to your hair, smoothing down your locks from his earlier manhandling.
The gentle touch makes you look up towards him, just like he requested. There really was something so intimate about those chocolate brown eyes of his. Past that smirk and layers of darkened lust, there was devotion. The feeling of your hands on him alone made him weak in the knees. You put that to the test, pressing just a little kiss on the tip. Dabbing your tongue against his leaking member. Just from that alone he's letting out the prettiest moans.
"Sh-shit, c’mon don't tease me." That cocky attitude of his melts. You almost laugh at how easy it is to break him down. He was puddy in your hands.
With a little hum you move your hand up and down his shaft, creating enough friction to make him buck his hips towards you. He nudges his cock further into your mouth, pushing past your lips. The underside of his cock glides down against your tongue, smearing the pre-cum along with it.
So caught up in your little game, you almost forgot about Craig behind you. Almost. It's hard to forget him when he's got his hands all over you. Large palms cupping any exposed skin. Craig takes his time exploring every curve he can get ahold of. His nose nuzzled into the back of your head. His breath tickling the shell of your ear. Just the sight of your mouth around Clyde's member alone is enough to make him growl.
Neither men are patient when it comes to you. Craig shoves whatever is left of your pajamas down and off you, he doesn't bother with your shirt as it'll pull you away from your lover. Instead, he decides it'll make the perfect handle. He bunches it up until it collects at the collar. His hands grip the shirt and tug it backwards, making your hips rock back into him.
Somewhere along the way he stripped away his pants. The barrier between the both of you was the thin material of your underwear and his dark blue boxers. While Craig wasn't as vocal as Clyde was, with his teasing and little whimpers, he could be just as unfair if not more.
Grinding against your cunt slowly, grabbing and groping at your ass the entire time. He digs his nails into your skin, leaving little crescent moons. Craig rewards good behavior not with sweet words, but by giving you what you so desperately want.
He waits until you've got all of Clyde's cock in your mouth before he finally shoves your underwear down. It makes it to your knees before he just decides to leave them there. Too many times he got impatient and just ripped them off, and too many times you scolded him for it.
The hand in your hair pulls you back from his cock. Clyde moves your head back just enough to where only the tip remains, then slowly he brings you back down. Pushing you all the way down his length until your nose hits his stomach. You watch as his muscles flex under his skin like he's trying to resist letting his head lull back. He needs so badly to keep his eyes on yours, loving the attention you're giving him.
"Your mouth feels so good." He whines when he reaches the back of your throat. You gag around him, and it pulls another whimper from him.
Your hand slides down his thighs, using it to hold you up. The other hand is still being held by Clyde's grip. His hand wrapped around your wrist, holding it up near his shoulder. Craig waits until Clyde rocks you back again, using the momentum to slip inside your wet folds. A pleased hum rumbles from his chest. You can feel it from how he's pressing his entire body against yours.
Just as slowly as Clyde moves your head, Craig pushes further into your cunt. The two find a slow and steady rhythm with one another. When Craig snaps his hips against you, it pushes Clyde's cock further down your throat. Your moans vibrating around him causing him to moan loudly in return. Clyde's whimpers and whines get louder when you dig your nails into his thighs. In return the grip on your hair is tightened. Creating this delicious cycle of pleasure.
"Baby, please. I wanna fuck your throat. You gonna let me? I need it so bad, please." Clyde's begging spurs something in you. Gives you the feeling of control even if you’re physically stuck between the two. From the beads of sweat that trail down his body and the way his body is shaking, you know he's at his limit.
You're able to pull back just enough, his cock springs up with a little bounce. Craig slows down just enough to let you talk, but you can tell he's not happy about it. The way his grip on your shirt tightens, you're sure he'll rip it soon.
"If I snap my fingers, you stop, okay?" You say giving him the okay. He caresses your face and presses a kiss onto your face, letting you know he understands the boundaries you've set.
At first, he's careful when he pushes his cock back into your mouth. You reward him with a swirl of your tongue, rubbing against the veins that are popping out.
"He's so needy." Craig huffs as he leans back up. The assault on your neck stops, but he's left it covered in bright red and purple marks. No amount of makeup will cover up what he's done.
You don't need to see him to know that he's smirking at it. Taking pride in the fact that he's marked you up. Or the pride making Clyde blush from his comment. Craig's hips snap back into you, the force much sharper than his previous lazy thrusts. They're calculated, each time he pushes deep inside you he hits that spot that has you seeing stars. Clyde's hips take up the same pace, shoving his cock into the back of your throat.
Tears begin to well up in your eyes, trickling down your cheeks. Moans turn to muffled cries, yet everything feels too good to stop. They're rough paced fucking brings your mind to a haze. All you can focus on is feeling good and making them feel good.
Craig's close, you can tell from the way he starts to lose rhythm. He's having a harder time controlling those grunts and growls. A hard time not leaving bruises on your skin from how rough he's holding onto you. He's long since let your shirt go, instead grabbing onto the back of the couch. But he waits until he feels that familiar clench around his cock. The way your walls clamp down around him as you cum. The only warning being the high-pitched muffled moan that gets swallowed by Clyde.
His hips slam into you one more time before he pulls out. Grabbing the base of his cock, he shoots that hot thick load onto your back. Heavy amounts of cum drip down your spine making you whine and shiver. Clyde can't take his eyes off the way his partner paints your backside. It makes a trail of drool slip down his chin.
The poor man can't do it anymore, he can't stop his eyes from rolling up to the back of his head. Not when your moans vibrate up him and your throat tightens from choking on him. He needs this release.
"I'm gonna cum baby. Please, let me cum. Let me cum in your mouth." Clyde all but cries in between panting. His begging dissolves into your name and the word please over and over again.
His flickering eyes catch yours again. It's when you give him a little wink and a hum, his cock violently twitches and cum spills from his tip. His cum is sweeter than normal, it makes it easier to swallow.
Slowly he pulls out of your mouth with one final whimper. It isn't until Craig swipes his thumb over his cheek that you realize he had tears streaming down them. Clyde presses his cheek into Craig's hand and lets out a pleased sigh. Once he knows Clyde is okay, Craig stands up and goes to get a towel to help clean your back. He does the same to your face, swiping away the left-over tears.
"Feeling better?" Clyde asks as he helps pull your underwear up. "Nice and relaxed?"
You nod and rest your head against his chest. "You've got good ideas sometimes."
"I've got wrinkles on my brain." He smirks to himself, taking your little praise miles.
Craig comes back after tossing the towel in the dirty laundry with a large blanket. He throws it over both of you before climbing in next to you. He lays his head down on Clyde's and grabs the tv remote.
"Kitchen Nightmare or Hell’s Kitchen?"
"Kitchen Nightmares! I need some petty British accents after my orgasm denial!"
You scrunch up your nose at Clyde’s comment. Almost wanting to pull back. "Smooth brain behavior."
"Smooth brain behavior." Craig chimes in.
The three of you relax into the couch, almost ready for the group nap that comes with the afterglow of love making. That is until inspiration strikes you again. Your eyes light up and you go to wiggle out of their hold. But Craig's arms are faster, they keep you firm against his chest. Clyde's hands come down a moment later, cupping your hips.
"Nope. You're staying right here."
"Guys! No! I just figured out how I'm gonna get that chapter finished! You gotta let me go! I gotta do it!" Your pleads are wasted, like they're not even heard.
"No. You're warm and I'm tired."
"That's not my fault or my problem."
"I'm making it your problem. Sit still."
"You know Tucker bear isn't going to let go. You're fighting a losing battle babe." Craig at least has the decency to let Clyde finish before pinching him. You know Clyde's nickname for him makes him grumpy. His little yelp makes you giggle.
"Fine....at least until you fall asleep."
"Look if you think you can get out of his hold, then be my guest. You earned it at that point." Clyde's smirk returns. He throws his leg over yours and tucks it in between Craig's knees.
"Fuck you." Your eyes narrow up at him. He's not as slick as he thinks he is, trying to cage you in with a sleepy Craig.
"Again? So soon. You're insatiable babe. Let us recover first." Clyde presses a kiss into the top of your head, pulling back before you can headbutt him.
His hand guides your head back down onto his chest and he just chuckles. It doesn't take long before Craig is passed out with his head nuzzled into the curve of your waist. Holding you like a teddy bear against his chest. Clyde's smile grows when he sees you trying to fight off sleep. But it eventually takes you and you lose the battle. He turns the tv down just a bit, deciding to join the both of you.
That chapter can wait another day.
#south park#sp fanfiction#south park fanfiction#reader insert#south park x reader#x reader#anon ask#i do for you anon#requests fuel me!!#Clyde Donovan#clyde donovan x reader#Craig Tucker#craig tucker x reader#Clyde x Reader x Craig#polyamory#✨️ anon#sorry this took so long#I took inspiration from the fact that I had writers block#it was actually killing me#beating my ass#but hey! its done!#hope you enjoy!#its sin#so much sin#pushing my Clyde agenda#shhh its a secret
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Something of an introduction
Hello, welcome. The goal of this blog is to definitively measure how hot characters are in order to rank them. This endeavor will take a different approach than tournament style blogs. Instead, I plan to give each character their own poll have have people assign them a number (1-10) by how hot they think they are. I will then use this to determine a mean score.
However, this leaves me with a logistic problem. I cannot put more than one poll into a post, but I want to do ranking by groupings (i.e., "who is the hottest Akatsuki" or "who is the hottest Hokage"). It seems to me there's three options:
Each character gets their own post with a poll. PROS: less terrible on your dash; someone coming onto this blog can filter by tags; i could make the posts one by one and release them all at once with schedule post feature. CONS: could end up with extremely uneven sample sizes (I doubt people would spread a post about Zetsu). Even if I linked back to a master post, I'm not sure people would follow the links.
I set up a bunch of polls on one reblog chain. PROS: easy to see all polls in one place when it ends up on your dash. hopefully keeps sample sizes relatively even. CONS: watching the chain build is probably annoying if you follow THIS blog; people might not want to reblog massive posts; i'd have to make all the posts quickly in one sitting or else cause differences in times/risk an incomplete post being spread
Instead of the poll feature, I make a google form. PROS: google forms spit out a spreadsheet I can download to do stats (and potentially see a pattern bc I'll be able to see how on person ranks multiple characters); I can require a person vote on EVERY character. CONS: I'm not sure how cool people are with following links to google forms; you won't be able to see the results until I post them myself
I did confirm that you can insert an image into google form questions, which is important because I want to eventually assign ranks to ALL Kage and some of them are hella obscure and I don't think people will remember what they look like.
Discuss.
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What are your thoughts on plausible explanations for dragon fire breath? Which style do you generally prefer and find the most compelling/likely? Aside from magic, the two chief explanations given is that dragons biological pyrotechnics is either caused by gas combustion or a chemical reaction.
I’ve never been a big fan of using flammable gas as an explanation of dragon fire, mainly due to just how impractical it is on numerous levels. The main problems being the immense quantity of flammable gas a dragons body would need to be capable of both producing and storing in the first place, and then needing to both pressurize and ignite that gas without it exploding or backfiring on the dragon. Plus the fact that flames produced by flammable gasses like hydrogen or acetylene don’t travel very far, making them poor fuel for flamethrower type weapons. (I have a copy of the Flight of Dragons by Peter Dickinson which popularized the concept, and to call the dragon biology presented in the book “intensely overly contrived and convoluted with a dash of immensely outdated paleontology” would be an understatement!)
Chemical ignition is by and large my favorite explanation for dragon fire aside from magical powers. Theirs a lot of highly volatile and flammable chemical compounds animal bodies already produce, it’s not hard to imagine a dragon evolving to weaponize those compounds. This chemical fire being much easier to produce, pressurize, store and control to be used as a weapon. One of the most realistic examples I can think of being the dragon centric spec-zoo project Draconology by Vickasroa, them going in depth about the bio-chemistry and evolutionary history of dragon fire breath and all the pros and cons it brings. (The TL:DR of it is that dragons fire breath is based on “nitro-lipids”, nitrogen inriched fat that’s combined with other chemicals like iron oxide/ hydrogen sulfide and acetione, that when shot into the open air rapidly oxidizes and ignites into a potent fire spitting attack).
Magical fire breath I feel like you can never go wrong with, as dragons are generally magical creatures and thus tend to have magical powers. I feel like it could also help tie the magic system into the world by explaining how dragons utilize it, assuming it’s a hard system and not a soft system. Like for instance dragons having ingrained knowledge of pyro kinetic spells they can access on instinct, or a dragon absorbing fire elemental power from the sun and shooting it out as fiery blast. The possibility literally are endless with the use of supernatural forces.
I think chemicals are the easiest and most versatile "realistic" explanation, as they can be stored in various sacs and explained by the dragon's diet.
magic is also a great explanation in this case, because as much as I love to insert realism into fantasy, sometimes you really do have to just say "this is a magic thing" and move on lol.
I liked the explanation in Dungeon Meshi, that the dragon has an extra "stomach" (or crop or gizzard), where all the indigestible parts of its meals are used as fuel for the flame breath.
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If you're doing these, kiss prompt 17 for Lenarius/Leonosa and Daeran please! (I miss them)
17. …to distract.
Aww 🥺
"Soooo.... it's not as bad as it seems," said Woljif.
"Clearly," Daeran responded. "How did you get all of this down here?"
"Look, I thought I was helping out with magical supply lines, logistics and such, and may things got a little out of hand," Woljif explained. "I, uh, might have forgot about the anti-teleportation magic around the keep, but I thought that was for demons! How was I supposed to know that Len would supplement that with a bunch of protection magics that got in the way of the less than legal methods I use to haul things in and out?"
"How inconsiderate," said Daeran. "You can imagine my surprise and indignation when I sauntered down for a bottle of wine and encountered a bunch of crudely-made magic traps and some extremely rare, highly unusual, and very illegal...problems in the Commander's personal wine cellar! Even I couldn't come up with anything more shocking."
Woljif winced. "Look, I can get all of this out of here before anyone else knows what's going on. I just need a few hours to connect with my thiefling buddies and get this all portaled out of here..."
"Well, good luck with that," said Daeran. "Drezen will be hosting an Osirion prince next week, and our dear Lenarius is coming down to personally select a menu of fine wines to be served throughout his visit."
"What?! When?" Woljif demanded.
"Why, he will be here any minute," said Daeran. "I only rushed down here because I wanted to take the best wines for myself before they can be wasted on tedious matters of state."
Woljif grabbed Daeran by the shoulders. "You gotta go up there and make sure he doesn't come down here!"
"I'm sorry. I must go up and diverge our dear Commander from an oh-so-important task because of your mistake?"
"Do you even know Len? He's as stubborn as a rock and can see through the best con artists and bullshitters I've ever known. You're the person I know who can lie to 'im or convince 'im to veer from his set path."
"I must say that I have never had my charm and presence complimented in such a way before, as crude as the delivery was," said Daeran. "However, I still don't see why we shouldn't let Lenarius come down here and receive the shock of a lifetime. Oh, the ripples this will send throughout Nerosyan..."
"No! No one can know about this, I..." Woljif said painedly. "Look, Len took me in and gave me a chance when I didn't deserve it. I just don't wanna let 'im down, y'know? And if this were to blow up, it's gonna blow back on Len, and I just don't want that to happen..."
"Ugh, that sappy little speech was incredibly vomit-inducing. Fine, I'll do what I must. Now let go of me, you're ruining a very expensive brocade jacket."
Woljif let go. Daeran huffed and straightened his jacket. Daeran fixed up his hair in the reflection of one of the bottles.
"Seriously, the biggest blow up of my entire life is gonna come in through the door, and you're preening?" demanded Woljif.
"I need to look my most dashing when confronting the starlit Commander of the Fifth Crusade in all his illuminating presence."
Daeran grabbed a bottle and sauntered up the long staircase to the surface, where he very nearly ran into Lenarius just out the door. Their noses were a sliver apart.
Lenarius looked at Daeran nonplussed. "I hope you found a bouquet that was to your taste," he said.
"Very much so," Daeran responded. "And just in time for a little outing I have planned for both of us..."
"Perhaps later," Lenarius responded. "I'm rather busy..."
When Lenarius tried to get passed Daeran to enter the cellar, the Count put both hands on the door frame and crossed one leg in front of the other in what he hoped was a dashing pose. He swished his hair, letting the immaculate curls fall gracefully to his perfect shoulders.
Lenarius raised an eyebrow. "Daeran..."
"The prince won't arrive for another week," Daeran pleaded. "I have everything set up now."
"Daeran, what are you up to?"
"I am shocked that you would insinuate any ulterior motive to my actions," said Daeran. "I'll have you know that what I have planned is purely professional and will involve an educational walk along the ramparts followed by a strategic picnic with a view of the ghastly gash in the world."
"I still think you are hiding something."
"Hiding what?" Daeran asked. "I'm not hiding anything! I'm absolutely not starved for your attention, and I most certainly did not plan this little run-in with you at a strategic point where you would be on a trivial, yet diplomatically important chore out of curiosity whether you would me or your duties on a microcosmic level."
Lenarius blinked. His eyes widened very slightly in that way whenever he got taken aback by whatever outrageous overture Daeran proposed and was charting how to proceed next. Daeran found himself inadvertently rendered breathless in anticipation for what Lenarius will decide to do.
Lenarius sighed and smile. "All right. You win. Let's go for a walk."
"What an unexpected feeling," Daeran said softly. "I don't know what it's like to have someone worthwhile tell me they'd choose me over duty. I suddenly feel warm and light. Ah--it is rather hot today isn't it. I'll have to have someone fetch us a parasol from my estate."
Lenarius rubbed his temples. "I will have to completely rearrange my schedule for the next six days. I'll have to pick out wines tomorrow morning, which means the curtains will have to be moved, but it can only be done on Moondays and Firedays, which means I'll have to have that talk with our generals on..."
Daeran interrupted Lenarius's line of thought with a kiss. As adorable Lenarius's expression was when he was deep in thought, it was even cuter when he gasped in surprise and delight.
Daeran grinned as he pulled back. "Come." He hooked his arm in Lenarius's. "Let's go for a walk!"
#pathfinder wrath of the righteous#commander lenarius/leonosa#daeran arendae#lenarius/leonosa x daeran#thanks for the ask!#dujour#i was cracking up the whole time i was writing!
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tw: non-con
(Honestly thinks the tw is enough to warn everyone .This is a fictional work. please don't read if uncomfortable.)
pairing: sunghoon x reader
genre: smut
mdni.
...
You can't believe it, your mother has decided that she wants you to marry her psychiatrist. "Have you gone mad, mom?!" you scoffed in disbelieve. It should've been a perfect day today to laze around but your mother has already made a plan for you to go on a date with Park Sunghoon, the psychiatrist she mentioned earlier.
"why, honey I'm telling you he's perfect for you! besides you said you want someone who's understanding and I thought Sunghoon would be just perfect for you." she explained with a large smile etched one her face.
"mom, I'm still 23! I'm not even done with university yet!" you groaned, exasperated. your mother tuts and stood up "you should atleast try to see him once, darling. I'm sure you'd really love him." she walks into your dresser and brings out a brand new light yellow midi-dress that apparently Sunghoon had bought for you yesterday. You have no idea how he knows your size but maybe your mom just pestered the poor guy into this whole ordeal and made him spend his own money for you and bought that dress.
"okay darling, wear this. don't be late tonight alright. I love you" she grinned and walks out of your room after hearing you replied with love you too. you sighed and stood up to get ready, lets just get this thing done, shall we?
Sunghoon picked you up at your house exactly at 7. He is actually pretty damn hot, tall and very neat looking, showing up in front of your door with a dashing smile showing his beautiful canine "you ready y/n?" he asked, extending his hand. You nodded, donning your face with a soft smile placing your hand in his and walked out of your porch.
"it's fine if she don't come back tonight, doctor Park! I trust my daughter will be safe in your arms!" your mother shouted from the balcony and wink, making Sunghoon laugh.
as the both of you are nearing the end of your supposed date, you excused yourself and went to the restroom to fix your makeup and thought to yourself that the both of you had more similarities and you feel pretty comfortable around him, unlike your other failed date where you had to be fake and laugh at their weird jokes.
But what you don't know is that Park Sunghoon is ultimately ready to turn you into his tonight. he smiled to himself thinking about how well his plan is going, slipping a pill into your drink making sure it has fully dissolved before you come back from the restroom.
"Sorry if I took too long" you smiled sheepishly to him. "no worries, the night is still young," he smiled, anticipation is bubbling inside his chest seeing you chug the rest of your drink.
as the both of you had sit in his car, it didn't take more than 5 minutes before you fell asleep soundly in your seat. Sunghoon chuckled to himself and drove to the hotel that he had booked prior to your date. he thought to himself that your mum should definitely be thanked for being so easily fooled by his kindness.
it was back during the first time you waited for your mum to finish her session with sunghoon that made him fell inlove with you at the first sight, no wonder your mother was overly stressed thinking about what she should do to protect you alone after your father had passed. you're that beautiful and loving, sitting next to your mother as you're holding her hands trying to calm her nerves.
he had decided at that night, he want to have you to himself. locking you away from the ugly world. he can't believe your own mother would send him your pictures trying to match the both of you. nonetheless after nights of jerking off to your pictures he's glad that today he'll finally get the taste of you.
he ogle at your body as soon as he had placed you on the bed, still sleeping soundly. "you and your mother is too trusty, baby. imagine someone else touched you first" he mutter to himself shaking his head, getting rid of all his clothes before all of yours.
the sight of your naked body almost made sunghoon came untouched. with a smile, he hovered on top of you and starts with giving you light kisses and squeezed you mound. he moaned to himself, feeling your softness. how he wished you were awake so he can see your expression. Sunghoon continued to kiss your neck, marking you as his and hand make way to your pussy, he smiled to himself feeling your wetness. "oh baby, daddy's gonna help you with this okay?" he groaned as he felt the suction of you hole as he slip one of his finger inside you.
"shit" he mutters, slipping another finger inside you and moving vigorously. the sound of your wetness and whimper was so delicious he cant help himself from grinding to your sides, attaching his mouth to your nipple. he scissored his fingers inside faster after feeling your cunt throbs frantically and moan along with you as the both of you came for the first time tonight.
"w-what is.." you croaked, shocked to see naked sunghoon on top of you already lining up his dick to you slit. He was glad that you had finally waken up, smiling at your beautiful shocked face before thrusting inside forcefully. the way you screamed was music to his ears making him ram his hips into you so deep that you're screaming incoherent words with tears flowing from your eyes.
you're trashing around, scratching at his body trying to get away but sunghoon was so into his pleasure biting his lip down and thrusting sharply he doesn't even care if you're leaving so many scratch marks on him. he moaned loudly feeling your pussy squeeze him tightly, nearing his end. "sunghoon, please stop" you moaned out with your eyes still glossy. "i know you're enjoying this y/n, i can feel you pussy throbs for daddy. you gonna come baby? come around daddy's dick yeah come on" sunghoon has totally lost his mind now when you're squeezing around him cumming so hard that your thighs was shaking around his hips.
"ah yes baby just like that. daddy's gonna cum inside of you—ah! I'm gonna make you full of my cum yeah, take it baby, take it" he turns you around and pushed your head to the bed, ramming into you from the back with his hands on your hips squeezing so hard you're sure it will leave marks. he stills inside of you, releasing all of his liquid inside fucking you until you're full of it. "fuck baby, daddy loves you so much~" by this time you had fainted from exhaustion and sunghoon was so happy that he fell asleep with you in his chest, dick still plugged to your pussy. mine he thought before drifting to sleep.
-----
hi guys! this is my first ever writing! please give me support and I'm open to nice comments. please don't interact if you're not of age. thank you!!
#sunghoon#sunghoon x reader#enhypen#enhypen hard hours#tw noncon#enhypen smut#sunghoon smut#enhypen imagines#sunghoon hard thoughts#enhypen hard headcanons
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Until I Met You - Chapter 23
Chapter 23: Faith, Trust, and...Pixie Dust?
Pairings: Halsin x Tav
Word count: 5,520
Rating: Currently M, will be Explicit in later chapters.
Read on AO3
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Summary: Halsin and Tav still struggle to come to terms with Ketheric Thorm's continued survival. But Tav finds a little hope in the darkness as well as another little addition to their camp. Part 23 of the slow burn fic. Tav and Halsin POVs.
Tags: Slow burn, mutual pining, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, fluff, eventual love confessions, eventual smut, angst, implied past rape/non-con and abuse, graphic description of injuries, brief suicidal thoughts.
A/N: Once again, a few story lines/game quests may be happening a little out of order just so I can keep a good pace for the story. I kinda forgot how much happens at Last Light the second you walk in...XD.
But enjoy some fun party banter and more sweet Halsin/Tav moments <3
Tav watched as Halsin dashed out of Last Light. Guilt ripped through her watching him leave. She meant to tell him about Ketheric sooner, but they had just been bombarded with so much new information in the last hour.
“What was that about?” Karlach stood next to Tav, staring at the entryway Halsin just ran through.
“Ketheric Thorm was the man we fought against one hundred years ago. He’s the reason the shadow curse plagues this land,” Tav explained. Tears stung her eyes and her chest tightened.
“It is difficult news to process. The Harpers lost many that day, but the Emerald Enclave…” Jaheira trailed off to take a deep breath. “Their numbers still have not recovered from the massacre they suffered.”
“Poor bear man…” Karlach stuck her bottom lip out slightly. “But you were here too, weren’t you, Tav?”
“Yes. But I never saw Ketheric in the flesh, just his Dark Justiciars and other Shar followers.” She couldn’t hold the glare back that she shot at Shadowheart.
Tension hung in the air, a single word could have easily snapped it in two. Rather than indulge her snippy comment, Shadowheart just stormed from the room. The rest of them shared uncomfortable looks between one another.
“So…what now?” Karlach spoke up to end the uneasy silence.
“You guys finish up here, I’m going to go find Halsin before we leave.” Tav gestured to Karlach and Wyll.
“Do not take long, Tav’a���” Jaheira caught herself as Tav met her gaze with a panicked look. She covered her stutter with a cough. “Tav. The cult is moving, and this ambush might just be your miracle protection against the shadows.”
Tav gave her a quick nod before running after Halsin. She stopped in the courtyard to look side to side to try and find him. A roar sounded off to her left, startling her. The strange sound reminded her of the first time they met when he was in bear form in the goblin camp. She followed it to a small lake nearby where she saw a large cave bear curled up near the shore.
“Halsin?” She called out softly.
The bear’s head turned towards her, the sadness in his eyes bringing more tears to hers.
“Oh, hello Tav.” He laid his head back onto his paws. “Would you like me to change back so we can talk?”
“No, that’s okay. If you’d rather stay a bear right now, we can talk like this.” He seemed to relax at her suggestion. Tav took a seat next to him.
“Halsin, I…” She sighed as she trailed off. “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you about Ketheric right away. I just–”
“It’s not that.” His voice was more gruff in this form. Each word had a slight rumble to it rather than his usual deep, smooth tone.
She waited silently for him to continue.
“I always told myself no matter what happened, at least we defeated Ketheric Thorm. That at least his blight had been removed from the world. And now…” He let out a small grunt. “Now I can’t help but feel it was all for naught. I lost nearly everything that day, Tav.”
Halsin curled up further into himself. She scooted closer to him and placed a hand on his shoulder, nestling her hands in the thick fur.
“So did I.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean–” he started to apologize, but Tav cut him off.
“Don’t apologize. I don’t say that to diminish your own pain or to gain more sympathy, Halsin. I say it to remind you that you’re not alone here.” She felt some of the tension leave his body at her words.
“And I’m grateful. But I know that your attention must remain fixed on the Absolute, and while I’m still here to lend my aid where possible, my priority must remain elsewhere.”
“The curse?” She had guessed his motivations were different from their own one of the first days he stayed with them in camp.
“Yes. I have a responsibility to this land, to see it shining under the sun again.” Even as a bear, the guilt in his eyes was plain to see.
Tav nodded along as he talked. Her hatred of Shar and the curse mirrored his own. In some ways maybe even surpassed it. Seeing how the shadows affected Halsin strengthened that hate. Further still, she was learning that there was very little she wouldn’t do to help him and see him smile.
“Then I do as well.”
“This is my burden to bear. I do not wish to add more troubles to your already overburdened mind, my friend. Besides, you may not consider yourself a Harper any longer, but it is clear you still hold their ideals close to your heart. I know you will not risk the fate of the entire Sword Coast to save one small realm within it.”
“Who says I have to choose between them?” She stroked the spot between his shoulders, causing a soft sigh from him. “The curse came from Ketheric as far as we know, yes? And he serves the Absolute now. If that’s the case, lifting it may weaken him, or perhaps defeating him for good this time will be the key to banishing the shadows.”
“Perhaps.” His voice remained quiet and sad.
“No one can break through such hardship alone, right? Let me help you lift the veil, Halsin.” His golden eyes shone in the nearby light of the moon shield, that first night they spent by the glowing pond clear as ever in her mind. He had been a source of comfort and warmth for her throughout their adventure, she wanted nothing more than to be the same for him.
“I do not deserve you, my friend.” His lips twitched up in what she could only assume was the bear form of a smile. She wrapped her arms around his thick neck and buried her face in his fur. The bristles tickled her cheeks as she hugged him tight.
I’ve always wanted to hug a bear.
“A few of us are going to be joining some of the Harpers on an ambush against an Absolute caravan. Everyone else is going to wait here until we return. Hopefully we’ll find a way to pass through the shadows and then after that, we can start investigating Moonrise and a way to get rid of this damned curse.”
“Oak Father watch over you, my friend.”
“I’ll return with the others shortly. We’ll talk more once we make camp, yeah?” He leaned into her as she tried to pull away. She wanted so badly to stay here with him, to curl up near his thick pelt to keep warm against the cold tendrils of shadow swirling around them. But that was not a luxury they could afford right now.
“Of course.”
Tav released him from her grip as she stood up to rejoin her companions. She gave him one final pat on the back before leaving. At the top of the small slope just past the moon shield, Lae’zel, Astarion, and Gale were waiting for her.
“The Harpers are waiting for us on the bridge, my friend. Are you ready?” Gale pointed his thumb towards the entrance to Last Light.
She spared one more look to the lakeside. Halsin had returned to his elf form and now sat cross-legged at the water’s edge staring across the dark horizon. How she longed to remain sitting at his side. As much as it pained her to admit, that was not her duty today.
“I’m ready.”
***
Halsin returned to his normal elven self as he sat by the lake’s edge. As comforting as it was, he tried not to hide behind the bear for longer than needed. He turned slightly, hoping to get one last glimpse of Tav before she left, but they had already gone. Rather than sit out amongst the shadows alone, he made his way back to the safety of the moon shield. Protection spell or no, the shadowy creatures that plagued the land could still ambush him.
As he made his way back to the inn, he caught glimpses of the looks on the tieflings’ faces around him. He tried to smile at them, or wave, but he was met with apprehensive stares and averted gazes. The only one willing to speak with him was Alfira, the kindhearted bard that used to sing and play her music at a small spot overlooking the heart of the grove. He used to sit at the base of the hill and listen to the soft strums of her lute and quiet humming.
“Hello, Alfira, isn’t it?” Halsin sat on a nearby stool at the hearth.
“Yes, hello Master Halsin.” She wiped her eyes on her sleeve.
“It’s just Halsin, please.” He folded his hands on the stone in front of him. “Are you alright?”
“As good as I can be, I suppose.” She sat up a little straighter as she addressed him, still subconsciously treating him as a person of authority.
“I was wondering if you could tell me what happened.” Halsin kept his voice low and gentle. “No one else is willing to look at me let alone speak with me.”
“Many still struggle to move past their treatment by the other druids.” She hesitated, like she wasn’t sure she could tell him.
“I see. Please accept my most humble apologies. Had I known my absence would have caused such grief, I would not have left.”
She gave him a small smile. “That’s kind of you to say. You were always kind to us.”
He tried to return the look, but the shame he felt at the lack of hospitality by those who followed him clouded his expression. To this day, the harsh reactions of the druids in the grove astonished him.
“We heard the others were captured, that Zevlor was lost.” Halsin prodded. “If you can tell me anything, I’d be most grateful. But I understand if it’s too difficult to recall right now.”
“No, it’s okay.” She took a shaky breath as she told him of their journey from the grove. They had been ambushed by cultists as they tried to sneak through the weakest parts of the shadows. Zevlor had tried to convince them to surrender but ended up captured. Many were killed, the others taken to Moonrise. Once they knew they were defeated, the rest ran until they found Last Light Inn.
“First Lihala, then Lakrissa…” Her eyes filled with tears once more as she gripped her lute close to her chest. “And now they took Mol too? How low does this cult steep that they kidnap children?”
Alfira had spent much of her time with the children in their convoy. They all looked up to her and loved her dearly.
“I’m so sorry, Alfira.” Halsin couldn’t think of anything else to say. This group of refugees had been to the literal hells and back, nothing he could say right now would be of any significant comfort. She nodded in response.
“I should go check on the kids again. Losing Mol was…difficult for them. And we still haven’t seen Arabella since the ambush.” She stood up, and Halsin followed suit.
“If they’re alive, Tav will find them.” He tried to assure her. “She won’t leave them behind.”
“I know.” Alfira’s smile returned. “You’re very lucky to be in her company.”
“That I am.”
He settled back into his seat as Alfira walked away. Last Light still bustled with Harpers, Fists, and tieflings alike despite the earlier attack. Shadowheart sat stewing in a corner across from him. Her arms and legs were crossed, and she wore a sour look on her face as she scanned the inn. Karlach and Wyll came over to join him by the hearth after a while, passing the time with idle chatter, waiting for their companions to return. Hopefully with a way for them to pass through the shadows.
***
Tav stood with the other Harpers basking in the glow of the moonlantern. The fight with the drider had been vicious. Two of the Harpers that accompanied them had fallen in the battle. They had fallen protecting her. But now, lying motionless on the ground with its legs curled up into its torso, the drider had released its grip on the moonlantern.
“I’m so sorry for your losses.” Tav walked up to the Harpers kneeling by their fallen comrades.
“At least we got what we came for, I can feel the magic of that lantern surrounding us. Like the shadows are being burned away.” Lassandra said, dutiful as ever. “Use it well, make sure their sacrifices are not in vain.”
“I shall do no less.” She clasped the Harper’s arm in a friendly handshake.
As she approached the lantern, she could just make out the tiny pixie trapped inside.
“Oh please, oh golly me-oh-my, you must release me, or I’ll die.” The tiny fey creature knocked furiously on the walls of the lantern.
“This lantern only lights the way when I am hurting night and day!”
“We need a way to walk among these shadows. If I free you, can you help us?” Tav asked with hesitation, she knew how tricksome the little fey creatures could be.
“It would be my pleasure, truly! Once I’m free, I’ll help you duly.” The chipper voice responded in an almost song-like manner.
“Ugh, such uninspired rhymes.” Astarion made a face.
She investigated the moonlantern, trying to discern a door or lock that could release the pixie. A small lever on one of the side panels opened the main compartment of the lantern and allowed a tiny, purple pixie to come flitting out into the shadows.
“Finally!” She shouted as she stretched her arms and wings in the air. “Been trapped in that coffin with nothing but a mad drider and my own farts for company.”
“Um, sounds unpleasant.” Tav dropped the now useless lantern to the ground.
“You don’t know the half of it, big ears.” She ran her fingers through her hair. “Did me a good turn, though. What do I owe you?”
“We need to get through this shadow curse. Can you help us?”
“I mean, I can. But will I?” She tapped her nose as she pondered the thought. Tav felt a brief stab of panic. Pixies were tricky little fey, choosing to help or harm based on their ever-shifting whims.
“Yeah, sure. Why not.” She conjured a small bell into her hands. “Give this bell a shake, speak the magic words, and you’ll get what you’ve earned.”
Tav let out her held breath as she took the pixie bell. When she shook it, the sound of windchimes danced around her bringing a warm feeling with them.
“Protection from the shadow curse, what more could a dingus want?” She flew up a little higher in the air. “You’re welcome!”
The pixie puffed away into thin air with a giggle, leaving them in darkness again.
“Gosh, that was a bit rude. Strange little creature.” Gale inspected the bell in Tav’s hand.
“What did she mean by speak the magic words? What, are we just supposed to say ‘pretty please’ and the shadows part for us to pass?” Astarion’s eye roll could be heard in his words.
“Whatever they are, at least it seems like she kept her word.” Tav inspected her hands and limbs. She still felt cold, but the shadows no longer scratched at her skin, seeking entry into her soul. Finally, some good news. One last worry as they made their way through these cursed lands.
After checking the bodies for anything useful, they started the long trek back to Last Light. The Harpers had left ahead of them to inform Jaheira of their losses. The air felt lighter and less like wading through a cursed bog. They hadn’t quite made it halfway back when a small voice in the darkness pulled their attention from their current path.
“Mum? Pops? Anybody!” It sounded like a child.
“Is that…Arabella?” Tav peered into the darkness.
“Hey…hey I know you!” Arabella started to wave frantically as they approached.
Tav started to wave back as she picked up her pace to reach the young tiefling quicker. Just as they reached the bottom of the hill where Arabella stood, two large shadows appeared behind her.
“Arabella! Watch o–” She started to yell, but she spun and conjured some thorny vines to hold the shadows in place.
“Twist’em up!” She hissed. The green light from her magic shone bright in the shadows.
“Ha! Look at who’s got some new Weave up her sleeve.” Gale laughed as Arabella came running down to them. As soon as she reached Tav, she threw her arms around her waist. The gesture surprised her, they hardly knew one another, but she was probably terrified from her time among the shadows. Her hair was a ragged mess and dirt clung to her face and horns.
“That knocks the wind right out of me.” Her heavy breathing confirmed that.
“What are you doing out here? It’s not safe to be walking among these shadows alone.” Tav knelt down to talk with her.
“Well…” Arabella looked at the ground and kicked the dirt around at her feet. “I was looking for my mum and pops. We were attacked.”
Tears ran down her cheeks as she told them of the ambush from the cult. She had gotten separated from her parents. Apparently Zevlor had been taken by the cult as well. But what had Tav stumped was how Arabella had managed to survive on her own amid the curse.
“There was a graveyard and I thought I heard their voices but there were just more shadows, so I ran. I still haven’t been able to find them.” She sniffled as she wiped her face on the back of her arm. “But…but I bet you could!” Her eyes lit up.
“Of course we’ll try to find your parents.” Tav assured her. “We’re looking for the others who were captured as well, maybe your parents are with them.”
“Thanks, miss. I knew you’d help me!” She once again lunged forward to hug Tav. “I don’t s’pose I could stay with you? At least ‘til you find my parents?”
“You…you want to stay with us?” Tav asked, confused. “The others are at a safe place called Last Light Inn, don’t you want to go stay with them? Alfira’s there too.”
“I don’t want to stay with them. They couldn’t protect me, or mum and pops. But you saved us before, I bet your camp is the safest place in the world!”
Tav let out a light laugh. “Depends on the day.” She looked back to her companions, judging their reactions. No one seemed to object to Arabella joining them.
“I’ll be good, I swear it!” She hugged Tav a little tighter as she sniffled again.
“Any child brave enough to face these shadows alone should have no problem with our little camp.” Gale offered as he smiled down at her.
“Of course you can stay with us. We’ll keep you safe, little one. We just have to stop at Last Light first to get the rest of our companions.”
“Thanks hero lady.” Arabella beamed up at her.
Tav and the others quickly took the two restrained shadows out as Arabella’s magical vines faded away. She studied the young girl as they made the walk back to the inn. Even without a torch or protection charm, she seemed to repel the shadows. There was an energy around her that Tav couldn’t quite place. Gale seemed to be of the same mind as he walked on the other side of her. The familiar squirm in her head returned as he made eye contact.
“This is no ordinary manipulation of the Weave.” Gale said the words into her mind.
“Yes, I felt it too. And she seems to be protected from the shadow curse somehow.”
“We should get her to Halsin. It’s peculiar, her power feels similar to his, but something is different. Yet it’s nearly as strong as his, remarkable considering her age. Perhaps he can explain it.”
Tav gave him a small nod in response. She made sure Arabella remained encircled by their group of adventurers. It was incredible she had managed to stay alive this long among the curse on her own, but she could sense that the young tiefling was getting tired. Despite her fatigue, Arabella remained curious as could be, asking question after question, most of them aimed at Lae’zel.
“What happened to the rest of your nose?”
“This is my entire nose.” Lae’zel responded.
“But it’s tiny.” Arabella touched her own nose as she looked up at Lae’zel.
“And yours is very large, especially for a child.”
“Why do your ears have those little ridges on the bottom?” She continued her questioning.
“Because this is how githyanki ears form. Why do you have those little ridges all over your shoulders?”
“I dunno. They just started growing there.” Arabella shrugged.
Tav smiled as she listened to them, surprised by Lae’zel’s patience with the young girl. Soon enough though, her curiosity switched focus to Astarion.
“Do all elves have fangs?” She asked as she skipped alongside him.
“No. Do all tiefling children talk this much?” He rolled his eyes.
“Yep! Why do you have fangs?”
“If I told you I was a vampire would that be enough to scare you away from me?” Astarion smiled sweetly, flashing those two extra pointy canines at Arabella.
“Nah, I know vampires aren’t real. ‘Sides, I saw you walk in the sun, so I know you’re lying.” She shrugged, Astarion just groaned in response.
Her never-ending questions continued until they reached the spot where the tieflings had been ambushed. The bodies of those killed still laid on the ground, cut down by cultists to help cover the others as they made their escape. Arabella paused next to one of the bodies.
“Arabella?” Tav called out softly.
“It’s Asharak.” She sniffled as she stood over him. “He tried to protect us.”
“I know.” Alfira had told the others how he was killed trying to protect the children. “We should keep moving, love. There’s nothing more we can do for them.”
She nodded as she walked close to Tav, her quiet cries hanging heavy in the still darkness. Tav had no idea what to say to her. She had spent very little time among children in her life, so she always felt a little awkward around them. As she chewed on her lip trying to find something, anything, to say to her, a small hand reached up to hold hers. Arabella wrapped her fingers tight around Tav’s, the small gesture seemed to calm her.
They walked hand in hand the rest of the way. Arabella’s eyes had dried by the time they reached the inn, but she kept a firm hold on Tav.
“Okay, let’s find the others and get a camp set up. I’m exhausted.”
***
Halsin sat at a table with Karlach and Wyll, still waiting for the others to return. Wyll had just spoken with a woman named Counsellor Florrick who oversaw the Flaming Fist here. He and Tav had missed the chance to speak with her at Waukeen’s Rest. She was also very interested in speaking with Tav upon her return. Karlach was still fuming in her seat. Florrick had mentioned a man named Lord Gortash, who he now knew was responsible for selling Karlach to Zariel. She hadn’t taken the news of his promotion in the city well and Wyll was working to talk her down.
“Don’t worry, Karlach. We won’t let him touch you again.” He placed one of his hands over hers. “We don’t even know if we have to go to Baldur’s Gate yet.”
“But what if I want to? It was my home too, Wyll.” Karlach propped her elbow on the table to rest her cheek in her hand.
Before Halsin could add anything, Karlach suddenly perked up.
“Hey soldier!”
Halsin turned around to see Tav walking into Last Light, and she seemed to have picked someone up along the way.
“And is that Arabella?” Wyll smiled as Tav led the young girl over to their table.
He recognized her now; she was the young tiefling who had taken the Idol of Silvanus from the grove. She looked exhausted. Her hair was tangled around her horns, her eyes were red and had little bags underneath them.
Tav reached their table and placed her free hand on Halsin’s shoulder.
“You all remember Arabella?” She had her other arm around the girl’s shoulders.
“Hey kiddo! Where you been?” Karlach seemed to be in better spirits now.
“We ran into her on our way back from the ambush. Her parents may have been captured as well.” Tav shot Halsin a quick look.
How had she been wandering among the shadows on her own?
She would have been out there for a couple of days at least. From the look on her face, Tav had already asked herself the same questions.
“Well, I’m glad to see you’re alright, little one.” Halsin tried to smile at her, but Arabella hid behind Tav. Of course, out of all the tieflings she arguably had the most cause to be suspicious of him.
“I’m going to go check in with Jaheira and get Arabella something to eat before we set up camp. There’s a spot just around the lake that seems like it would work well.”
“Wait, you’re not leaving me here, are you?” Arabella had a panicked look on her face.
“No, no.” Tav knelt next to her. “We just need to take care of some things here first, then we’re going to set up our own camp. But while we’re here, you need to get some food and rest for a minute. I won’t leave without you, I promise.”
The pull in his chest returned watching Tav comfort the little tiefling. Her gentle hands untangled her disheveled hair from her horns and tucked it behind her ears. She wiped the stray tears that still escaped down her cheeks with the edge of her sleeve. Despite himself, he could feel the foolish smile coming over his face. Out of the corner of his eye, Wyll and Karlach were each beaming at him, their smug expressions threatening to make him blush.
“I am pretty hungry.” A loud rumble came from Arabella’s stomach when she finished speaking.
Tav ushered her over toward the other kids and Alfira, all of whom looked ecstatic to see her alive and well.
But how is she alive and well?
Not that Halsin was complaining by any means, there were just few ways of safely passing through these shadows. He needed to find a way to examine her, but he was doubtful that she would want to spend any time with him. While lost in his thoughts, Tav came back over to their table.
“Have you seen Jaheira anywhere?”
“She was going to go debrief with some of the Harpers that went with you. We heard some of them didn’t make it.” Wyll nodded his head toward the courtyard.
“They did their duty, now we need to do ours.” Tav took a shaky breath as she dug into her pack. She produced a small, silver bell and held it up in her fingers.
“Oooh! Pretty!” Karlach snatched the little trinket. Halsin could just make out small carved symbols in the metal. They looked to be in the style of the fey.
“We got it from the pixie we freed from a moonlantern. Give it a little shake.” She urged her. After Karlach shook the bell, a little pixie appeared.
“Again? Already?!” She shouted with her hands on her hips.
“We need to make sure the others in our group can pass through the shadows as well.” Tav jumped as the little creature flew to hover directly in front of her face.
“Ugh there’s more of you fuckers?” She made a show of stomping her feet in the air. “A deal’s a deal I suppose. And the magic words?”
“Um…please?” Tav gave an awkward grin.
“Can’t even say it in Elvish? How boring.” She rolled her eyes but moved to hover over the small table they were sharing.
The pixie blew a cloud of sparkling dust into the air that settled onto their skin. When Halsin went to touch it, the dust disappeared, yet he felt lighter now. Even within the confines of the moon shield he could feel the effects of the charm.
“You’re welcome.” She gave a mocking bow before whisking herself away.
“Well done, my friend.” Halsin commended Tav, she grinned back at him. For the first time since it was unleashed, he would be able to pass through the shadows. This would make everything much easier.
“Now that we have that settled, I have someone who is desperate to meet you.” Wyll stood up and pointed to the room where Counsellor Florrick waited. “Care to join me while you wait for Jaheira?”
“Sure.” She turned to face Halsin. “You should talk with Gale. There’s something…different about Arabella. He can explain it better than me.” She smiled as she patted his shoulder before following Wyll into the other room.
Right on cue, Gale came wandering over to his and Karlach’s table.
“Oof, I don’t know about you two, but the chill in the air here is murder on my joints.” He grunted as he took Wyll’s seat.
“Ha! I heard those cracks as you sat down, old man. Need some oil for those knees?” Karlach laughed.
“Got some to spare from that contraption in your chest, do you?”
“If only. This baby just runs on soul coins, I’m afraid.” She tapped her chest lightly with a fist.
“These shadows certainly seem to seep into every pore. This new spell from the pixie is good news though.” Halsin held his hand out to Karlach, requesting the small bell.
“Worked like a charm. We had no further issues as we made our merry way back here. Speaking of which…” Gale trailed off to look over his shoulder at Arabella.
He told Halsin of their encounter with the young girl. How she was now able to conjure vines and call on the Weave around her to do so. How she seemed protected from the shadows, even without a light source or blessing. He seemed to think her abilities were druidic in nature based on the sensations around him while she was casting.
“Interesting…” He rubbed his chin while he thought on this revelation. Gale mentioned that she had been wandering around a graveyard before she found them. The graveyard nearby would have been enveloped in even darker shadows than those around the inn. Even with a torch she could not have survived long.
“Perhaps her time at the grove unlocked some new talent that was lying in wait.” Gale suggested.
“Perhaps.” He kept his eyes on Arabella. “I won’t be able to tell for sure unless I can examine her. I’ll think on it some more as we make camp.”
There was a familiar warmth around her, undeniably similar to the warmth he felt in Silvanus’s presence. She had taken the idol for a short time, perhaps she managed to speak to him in some manner.
“Well, Tav invited her to stay at our camp so you may well have the opportunity to do so.” Gale let out a loud sigh as he leaned his head against the back of the chair and closed his eyes.
Halsin sat and waited patiently for Tav to return from her check ins. He watched as she was pulled in every possible direction around Last Light. Her face started to twist into that mask-like expression. The few people that reached out to touch her caused her to recoil away like they had shocked her. Between the Harpers, Flaming Fist, and other refugees it was close to an hour before she came back to his side. Her shoulders hung a little lower and she stifled a few yawns as she started gathering their companions.
“Let’s get a camp set up. We’ll stay close by so we can check in when needed. Probably best to call it a day though, we can make our way to Moonrise first thing tomorrow.”
He didn’t miss the nervous edge to her voice as she made the plans. The thought of returning to Moonrise Towers no doubt weighed heavily on her already exhausted mind. When he stood up, she leaned against him while the others continued talking and making plans for the rest of their evening. And despite another smug grin from Karlach, he put an arm around her shoulders to pull her closer. The day had been long. Witnessing the shadows again, finding out Ketheric Thorm was alive, the captured tieflings. But the small, relieved sigh he heard from Tav as he hugged her tighter took all of those worries away for just a moment.
#bg3#bg3 fanfiction#baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate iii#bg3 halsin#halsin silverbough#halsin x tav#bg3 fluff
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OC Smash or Pass
I was tagged by the wonderful @trashcatsnark and @beammeupbroadway for OC smash or pass >:3c I haven't spoken about Persi on my blog officially in a dedicated post (just posted art of her) so rolling the dice here and introducing her like this
RULES: pretty self explanatory. include physical descriptions or pics, and propaganda. the "other" label can be used for "sexuality misalignment" (ie: oc is femme and you're gay, vice versa or you aren't into smashing but a specific thing you wanna do with them like perhaps hug or study them under a microscope idc).


image credits: 1, 2, 3
Quick Facts
Full Name: Persimmon "Persi" Kongoseki
Height: 5’
Age: 22 (during the main game of SWSH, though obviously she scales in age with the years)
Pronouns: she/her
Sexuality: *vague shrug* (she's definitely into all genders, but for various reasons she has never explored this personally)
Features: dark brown eyes, facial moles, round glasses, multicolored hair that she got from her great-great something or other (sure it's obvious who)
Pros
Extremely non-judgemental. Generally chill about anything
Very soft (physically speaking, because she has a few rough edges). And she will let people lay on her (if she's familiar with them)
A story teller and poet by heart, and will write love poems often
Has whatever rizz is present in the familial line, but she's genuinely unsure how she got it
Knows a good deal about both Sinnoh's and Galar's myths and legends, and she will tell anyone and everyone about them
Lives in small cottage in Ballonlea, and enjoys long walks in the Tangle (but be careful!)
Cons
High chance she is picking her handheld game consoles over anything else (and she's not sorry)
Habit of stopping anything she's doing to start talking about Sinnoh and Galarian myths
Will absolutely "uhm, actually" when someone gets something wrong and she's aware of the correct answer
Extremely abrasive, and is usually unaware she's being unpleasant
Used to being a loner, so she might isolate for weeks on end. Whoops
Neutral, but Important Addition
Plushes on the bed. Yes they're everywhere. Let this be placed where anyone would like
Not sure who to tag that would like to do this, or hasn't already been tagged (since I am always so late to the party), but please if we're sharing a dash space tag me and let me see the OCs <3
#I have lore about her last name and how I came up with it#but I don't wanna tag it and have it end up in the main tag of something you know? so just know there's purpose there#and yes she's the twin to another character that looks like her and is descended from the same man#also I love her very much so dearly <3 I was put on this earth to give characters a fail wife to fawn over for real
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all you’re likely to see on the side of the road is your hideous reflection in a puddle of stagnant water
This time, he's not in backwater Ferelden.
They're all in Skyhold.
Well, that's not a fair assessment; most of them are in Skyhold; Vivienne is off doing something for Josephine in Orlais, doing actual work, being an actual ambassador for good. Meanwhile - he's in a bar with Dorian on his left and Solas on his right.
He is the one typically with a plan, typically - but tonight, he is in step with the machinations of one elven apostate, the elf on his right and the keeper of his cards for the evening. "Run it by me one more time, Chuckles." Once more, it never hurts, especially when they're working to con the Iron Bull. "Humour me." He offers up at the end, pulling a chair out for himself. It only takes a second, but he pulls off his gloves, and his coat is next.
"It is simple," Solas states, Dorian scoffs. "Altus Pavus, perhaps you would like to explain it then?"
"Oh yes, goodie. Allow me," Dorian snipes; Varric can feel it before it's even said. "Dwarf, do you lack ears along with eyes?"
"Oh yes, Sparkler, sense of smell too - hence why I can stand being near the both of you and you overpowering egos filling the air." He smirks, prodding both of them at the same time. Alas, he would do it again, but he is eager to win his coin back. "C'mon, Chuckles, Sparkler, fill the small man in."
Solas snorts.
Varric laughs at that, hand down on the table and catching the eye of staff, of Krem and who he thinks is Stitcher. They're in the thick of it, and everyone is starting to blur together. "It is simple, like I said." Solas starts again; he's now moved to the other side of the table and across from Varric, taking his own seat. One of three points they will need to make this work, Varric was listening, he just likes making the others exasperated and what fun would it be if the narrator told you everything?
"You say a whole bunch of nothing with a whole bunch of everything you know." Varric states over it, goading again as he takes his own seat, booted foot on the table. He can hear Dorian's disgust. "Makes you look like a fool waiting for nothing in the middle of nowhere for a cart that won't come. Just stuck, muddy nowhere." Rich and dense words from a man who deals in half-truths. Solas scoffs, cutting Varric's cards in an elaborate fashion.
Varric is not expecting the reply; he's not expecting how it is volleyed with venom and fire. "All you’re likely to see on the side of the road is your hideous reflection in a puddle of stagnant water."
"Ass."
"Master Tethras, you never fail with your mastery of words."
Varric wants to grab him from across the table and throw him. He knows he can. He's tossed men twice his weight, pushed a drunk Hawke off him once. Instead, he swallows his pride, and his hand comes down on the table. "Alright, my dashing good looks aside, deal the cards. Do you even have a plan?"
Ah, it's the right insult as Solas straightens his back ( somehow, someway - he does it ). Dorian settles to his right, so they can swap cards, so Solas can walk behind them later, feigning the need for a drink and either take what is needed or trade hands.
Solas simmers, not bested, as Varric has his ass insulted again, later on, with Bull helping the elf in a show of good faith. Well, that good faith lasts for about half an hour, as Varric trades hands with Dorian, who has been holding the angel for just the right time.
He wanted to start a fight earlier anyway.
Might as well start one now.
Might as well ruin the plans he claimed to not know.
The hand comes down, and the bar roars.
#.from the desk of: v. tethras ( headcanon )#i wrote this to tik tok by kesha by the way and fireball by pitbull#this also is a special idea from the depths of my great dai rewrite and repolished just for this#starring our intrepid assholes#ft. special guest dorian#.you were never a regret ( HOBOBLAIDD )
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DO YOU HAVE ANY TRIO (marius, jack, and mc) MOMENTS YOU CAN GIVE??? DRABBLES, THOUGHTS, OR ANYTHING?? IM SORRYY I JUST I LOVE THEIR DYNAMIC SM
if its not any trouble ofc 👀
I had some thoughts!! Some miiinor maybe kinda spoilers? Some may be mentioned in the story, some may not. So i'll put a cut just in case LOL.
Gunner!MC taught Marius how to hold a gun properly. It's kind of ridiculous how he went this long without knowing, but from the jump it's obvious the young man didn't lead a normal life before coming across Flynn. He just ... appeared one day, and no one really knew where he came from, though apparently he was related to Flynn's coveted Eva Beau. That kept most people away from him, but Musician!MC had no such reservations. Marius would've approached them first, complimenting their music with his usual charm, totally out of place at the Duchess with his shabby clothes and just-off-the-boat broken English.
Accountant!MC would've helped him get situated in Chicago best, explaining the places to shop and the currency. Distiller!MC even had him help around the distillery and storage, and quickly learned Marius was something of a vagabond - and he liked it that way. He had no interest in the straight and narrow kind of life. Callgirl!MC couldn't blame him, and the two bonded over similar taste in men and cons and fashion. Regardless of the MC's thoughts on him initially, Marius attached himself, and went from a fairweather friend to dutifully loyal within half a year. Partners-in-crime seemed to be something he was used to having back in France and England, and he was eager to reform that kind of bond. It's hard to see him as some hardened criminal, though, with that dashing smile and carefree personality ... maybe that's why he got away with so much and kept pushing the envelope.
Marius met with Jack before MC did. In spite of his odd looks and size, Jack kept himself shadowed and small. He was fearful at anyone approaching, and preferred to work alone, which was tricky - his face was too distinct to be out in public, he did not want to be found by certain individuals. Flynn was the only way to hide, and Jack was used to answering to a frightening authority. He wasn't used to a friend, and Marius' attempts were frightening for a while.
Eventually Marius dragged Jack along on his own jobs, and he was (mostly willingly) included in with Marius' friendship with MC. A femme!MC would be a bit more intimidating - he's still a young man with limited to no experience with 'womenfolk'. A Gunner!MC is especially scary at first, until he realizes they won't actually hurt him... and they know to best weaponize Jack's own 'scary' side. A Callgirl!MC quit teasing him early on, realizing how uncomfortable it made him, and got him to lower his guard the fastest. She often thinks that she reminds Jack of someone else, because he's slipped up and nearly called her by a different name a few times. The Musician!MC gets him to open up and actually sing along to a song - only if it's just the three of them, of course - and puts him at ease like Marius. An Accountant!MC can be something of an older sibling or even parent, fussing about his clothes and eating habits and overall ignorance of the world, not just the big city (how are these two alive? Seriously.) Distiller!MC and Jack, meanwhile, often share amiable silence as they observe crowds or work alongside each other. They both know when to reel Marius in and when to let him be.
Marius and Jack's friendship felt much more complete when MC joined, like a missing piece slotting into place. Their temperments suit each other well, and they know most of each other's flaws ... and most of each other's stories. Some things have been unsaid, or unasked, and that's alright for now.
Flynn cares little about the trio, other than they can get their assigned jobs done - he places little stock in Marius and Jack individually, and knows they'll fall in line behind the MC. He's not worried, but a certain other trio are thinking Marius, Jack and MC hold more loyalty to each other than their employer ...
#ahh sorry if this was odd or not what u meant buuuut#just my thoughts....#if:devil's moon#libra says#anons !!
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I was supposed to be writing but instead I made a punctuation marks tierlist. Here's the link I used so we can all fight about this together.
Reasons for rankings under cut
S-Tier:
Semicolon: The semicolon is an extremely underrated puncuation mark; it is versatile and attracts the readers attention.
Em dash: The em dash can be used similarly to the semicolon— but not in exactly the same manner— in that it can seperate different parts of a sentance while drawing the reader’s attention to whatever it is you are writing.
A-Tier:
Elpsis: A very versatile punciation mark that can be used to convey emotion such as confusion or anxiety, to show that part of a quote has been omitted, and yet again it grabs the reader’s attention... are you starting to see a theme here?
Exclamation point: A classic. It’s hard to go wrong with a puncuation mark that can convey so much emotion. Anger, stress, excitement, happiness, you name it!
Interrobang: Most people don’t actually know what this is called. It can also be written as !? or ?! and is used to convey both a question and an exlamation. How was I not taught this in school!?
B-Tier:
Question mark: It has it’s purpose and is certainly useful, but is slightly overused and can get boring at times. Readers tend to blow right past these, sometimes not even noticing that there was a question asked. It has it’s pros and cons. Can you really hate me for not loving it?
Colon: Useful, but kind of overused. Though, I’m a hypocrite because I’ve been using it through this whole list. (Do I really need an example if the enitre list is an example?)
Quotation marks: Amazing for writing diologue, I love this puncuation mark and I love to write dialogue. But it’s definitely one of the more common ones and can easily be sped past or forgotten entirely because of it. You might be thinking, “But if you love to write dialogue then why rank it so low?” My honest answer would be that I accidentally put it lower on the list, only noticed once I saved the file, and was too lazy to fix it. So now I’ve tried to come up with a valid reason for it to be in B-Tier.
C-Tier:
Comma: Way too overused, a semicolon or an em dash would have worked perfectly and would not have been anywhere near as repetitive.
Apostrophe: Useful for contactions and that’s about it. Not to mention the fact that contractions can be considered unprofessional in certain circumstances.
Brackets: Far inferior to parentheses (which were not on this list for some reason!?) because they can only really be used to explain part of a sentence that isn't present in a direct quotation.
D-Tier:
Heiphen: Be honest, when have you used a heiphen properly that would not have instead called for an en dash or an em dash? Heiphens are a good-for-nothing puncuation mark and I will not be apologizing.
Slash: Only really useful when saying and/or.
Period: Overussed, basic, mid puncuation mark. I’ll admit that it’s necessary, but it’s basic af.
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So I've been playing Palworld and it's scratched that itch I had back when Ark was also new and wonky as all hell. I love finding wonky shit that will be patched soon enough that I otherwise would never had seen if it was a polished game already. That's not the point. The point is the day I reached 365 in-game days on my character, I was taken to Hell and God spoke to me.
This is a somewhat long tale because I can't seem to tell a story without lots of details but ehh.
Now I know it wasn't intended as such but I know what I know man. See I'm all about breaking games. I enjoy speed running and clipping objects, and let me tell you about unintended files stored as magic boxes behind a fireplace in Skyrim! Naturally then, I have used some less than authentic things in the year.
Have I maybe held a conversation about the pros and cons between two Chikipi in the inventory of a Black Marketeer while my Quivern roasted him alive in the background so I could loot his corpse of 35k gold? Perhaps.
Have I ever intentionally instigated a riot in one of the only civilized parts of this island of nightmares? Have I led that bloodthirsty mob then against the leaders of the cults and/or organizations that control the island with the intent of forcing their leaders and their partner creature into a sphere thanks to an exploit allowing me to catch them? It's possible.
But no, instead me and Immortal the Shadowbeak decided to visit his home realm. See I was doing the now-known trick of butchering a pal and then riding them to prevent them from dying. Didn't realize how it worked, really, i just knew to try riding him during the second loop of the animation. I'd discovered this from dropping the controller in a panic as my cat made a mad dash and knocked over my coffee.
I figured out the rhythm of it. I was killing and harvesting this beast endlessly! It refused to stay dead under my guiding hand. Sure it was eternally blurred out with that pixil-y cloud, but that's because we should not gaze directly upon the divine, as this death transcendent hippogriff clearly was. I explain this in a sleep deprived mania to my roommate. They suggest a nap. I disagree. Another coffee means I can continue the immortal butchering.
Then we Fell the first time. I'm no stranger to being out of bounds in a game mind you. Hell my favorite mining route meant clipping through a mountain in another game. This is Fine™ so I land in the water under the map. Recall people saying online that the dungeons and whatnot are just hidden pockets under the world. Maybe that's where I was? Didn't care. Immortal Shadowbeak was there with me still. I continued the butchering unimpeded. Must get technology books for unlocking more shelves.
Over time I have repeatedly entered the Undersea. Sometimes its from exploring, but no, I have a Rushoar and he is called Sæhrímnir and he will take me to the Undersea every time. No matter what. Every other Immortal has regenerated every reload of the save and lost their pixel cloud, but remains censored to this day. But a man needs bacon for his eggs so I butcher him like his namesake to feed the people.
Now, like every good casserole recipe, the backstory is finally set, so onto the tale. On the day of my character's 365th day I rolled out of my bed and walked out of my keep. I did a full tour, remembering my tiny three walls and a roof to how far I'd come with my Pals. It'd been a long year, but I decided a feast! We must celebrate! Not just me and my party, but all of us shall enjoy Sæhrímnir! No salads for breaks today!
So me and Sæhrímnir get into position on the Bloodstone. I'd read having one stone foundation away from everything helped with not falling through the ground and while it worked for everyone else, Sæhrímnir is more Divine and thus immune to that so once again I'm riding his not-a-corpse down to the Undersea. I figure I need more meat to fill everyone, what with food level 7s everywhere, so i continue meat making.
Sæhrímnir decided I'd been flaunting his immortality I guess because later at the party he suddenly burst from his palsphere and I was like "Weird, but okay" and decided I'd try "petting him and calming him down" before tossing him back into the sphere. I was still holding the butcher knife I guess and started disembowling him on the table in the center of the picnic area in front of everyone. Only the Immortals knew what they were, having been killed at the Bloodstone far from the eyes of the rest, and now they knew.
But I wasn't gonna let Sæhrímnir die, so I went through the rituals the same as always and down to the Undersea we went. I prepare to go back to base via the keep inventory option in conjunction with the die and respawn button in the menu. It's routine at this point.
"Come" I hear an older man and younger woman say at the same time. I just happened to be looking at Sæhrímnir, about to return him to his sphere. His pixilation ended at that one word and then we started falling through the Undersea. In that short fall, I wondered if we'd fallen somehow into one of those dungeon pockets. As we landed I knew this was truly not somewhere I was supposed to be.
See, the grass was much more gray than green, but there was grass and ground under my feet in every direction I could see. The issue was, I could not see that far, only about five to ten feet through the thick white mist that was static and yet animated. No wait, that part just moved, but the smoke texture wasn't animated. I cautiously begin moving through the mist, careful that the ground may end yet again. Try finding Sæhrímnir, but he's gone. My palspheres aren't working, my character not even trying to throw an empty hand.
On the side of the screen, I see my character has eaten another plate of bacon an eggs. I'm still alive and eating, so that's a bonus. Means this isn't unsalvagable, but curiosity has me. I check and I have all my weapons. The firearms shoot into the White Void and my ammo count went down, so they work. I reload and set off further and faster into the mist.
Even fully sprinting there's nothing but knee high gray grass and flowers and the mist that is everywhere. I opened the map and it says I haven't left my base. I know I've been running in the mist for easily five minutes. I encounter a tree. It's texture is on inside out and is more or less just a mass of spiky vectors in a dead tree shape. I continue. Minutes pass, more trees appearing in the fog. I saw a pal fragment node but it vanished as I approached.
eventually as I get bored, I notice the day is about to end and I consider respawning and going back. The Sun turns into a Moon in the dial and I hear a crashing sound like a felled tree. Everything flashes and the grass is suddenly green, but the mist is turning black like ink. Horror movie vibes as hell. I'm rooted in place watching this glitch and needing to know how it ends.
The double-voice says something again, but they're no longer saying the same thing. Too brief to comprehend what it was. Haywire audio files, no big thing. Happens a lot. Sæhrímnir then appears, or perhaps another boar like him. It squeals and does its death animation as the fog finishes becoming black. Night must've finished falling in the Overworld---
Lights start coming to life around me, brightening and dimming slowly. Lifmunk Statue green and data log/fast travel blue lights started pulsing in the void. I made the mistake of trying to run to one. The camera spins as I start running. Moving is controlling the camera now and the camera is moving the character now. No problem, lemme just unlearn decades of gaming muscle memory real quick.
"COME" the Twin Voices cried suddenly, static accompanying the word. Feel backdoor room vibes and get goosebumps. My nerves are suddenly both taught and shot at the same time. My character has fallen into the distortion world ffs. Time to abort. I select Respawn in the menu. My character doesn't die. Try several more times to no avail. Try double jumping and my Galeclaw still refuses to answer my summons. Palspheres are still not working.
As I get the idea to just hard-close out the game, the sun begins to rise. Like a disney movie, rays of gold and orange shoot through the black and dispel it....why are the rays of light twisting? They start bending around and twisting around invisible objects my character doesn't collide with. Wait, that thing over there kind of looks like part of the assembly machine---
The entire screen suddenly turns white and I hear a sound like a dozen digital demons as the game crashes. I reboot the game and I'm standing in the middle of the party, still in full swing around 4 in the afternoon on the 365th day. Nevermind my night going through the Shadowrealms like I'm mfing Ra crossing the Duat. Nevermind that I saw beyond the veil as many Islanders wish for and I found only horrors.
I prepare to log out when I check my party. Sæhrímnir is gone. He never returned with me.
The Immortal Pal Experiments have been halted at this time.
#long post#palworld#game adventures#real long post so sorry if it mucks up anyone's feed i just had to tell someone this#glitches#video games
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