#however i think correct answer is combination of all these

[star-sim]

hello kitty meets batman (real not clickbait!) ☆ jake sim

☆ youtuber! super down bad! bf! jake x youtuber! fem! reader ☆summary: jake sim was youtube's cut-throat, horror creator, known for his dark video style. meanwhile, you were the cutesy beauty vlogger, lighting up every algorithmically generated home page you touched. no one would have expected you two vastly different people to know each other, let alone be in a long-term relationship. ☆ genre: fluff, youtuber! au, secret dating! au, established relationship, suggestive, im sorry im never letting the ytber au go, cutesy!reader, jake is SO down bad its kinda painful #patheticmen ☆warning(s): no, just fluffy, also reader is really feminine and girly in this ☆ word count: 13.4k words ☆ wrote half of this in spanish class so im sorry if there are mistakes, first time writing established relationship in full, kinda nervy

Jake Sim was many things.

One of the most popular and well-respected content creators on Youtube was one of them.

As Jake's nimble fingers darted across his keyboard, his other hand rested firmly on his mouth, he thought that the blue light emitting from his computer screen should burn his eyes. Except, it didn't. Despite what most people thought, 90% of being Youtuber was just simply staring at a computer screen, rather than being in front of a camera lens. The man felt his nose prickle before he let out a soundless, but satisfying, yawn. He leaned back against his office chair, stretching his neck and arms before he rubbed his eyes.

There was a reason that he was an extremely respected creator on Youtube.

For one, the production quality of his videos were high. Down to the Closed Captions or his camera's grain, Jake's attention to detail was immaculate. Not to mention, the content itself was magnificent. 

Whenever people asked Jake what he did for work, it was hard for him to answer.

He'd said that he made horror content, but he'd only earned incredulous looks, like he was a madman. Even then, "horror" content wasn't the correct description.

In short, Jake liked to make videos about obscure things. Which just so happened to be a little spooky. Sketchy true crime cases, searches for lost media, strange Internet phenomena, government cover-ups— Name anything a little bit eerie and Jake probably already covered something of that sort on his channel. Given the nature of his content, Jake almost always maintained a serious tone, but when the opportunity came to offer his opinion, he liked to relay it in a straightforward way. 

Another reason why he was so regarded was because of his content style. He preferred using darker colors, having a crisp microphone that picked up every rasp of his deeper voice. When he had camera shots, Jake liked to be in a dimly lit room. Unfortunately, his room was dark, too. 

This all combined together to create a singular image for Jake: the cool, high-quality, but a little bit scary, guy that likes to make videos about scary topics.

Now cracking his knuckles, Jake sucked in a sharp breath. Although he could easily export his upcoming video now and upload it, garnering millions of views, he refused to. There was something missing from it; it needed a little umph, a little embellishment to really pull things together. If there was one thing about Jake, it was that he'd put quality over quantity any day.

Jake is torn out of his thoughts when his phone, long forgotten next to his mouse, lit up. Usually, when he worked long afternoons like this, he silenced his phones in order to maintain focus.

However, there was always one exception.

You.

pretty girl: hi babe, do you think you can help me take promo pictures later?

The moment that Jake saw your contact show up, he picked up his phone immediately. His fingers tapped his screen, quickly responding to you.

me: yeah i can do it rn if you want

pretty girl: if youre busy, it doesn't need to be today, it can be tomorrow or something

pretty girl: oh

pretty girl: are you sure?

Of course he was.

Jake was already shutting off his monitor, grabbing his keys and shoving his feet into his shoes at your first message.

me: yeah i'll come over right now

You were Jake Sim's girlfriend. But other than the people in your personal life, no one else knew that.

Not that either of you minded.

Like Jake, you were a Youtuber. Except, your community was the complete opposite from his.

Your niche was cute makeup and lifestyle. Your videos had cute, blushy sets, characterized by cute plushies in the background and pretty, pink decorations. When you weren't making makeup tutorials or "get ready with me's," you were giving your viewers small sneak-peeks into your life. Whether it be your rosy morning skincare, or your sunny afternoon cooking attempts, or your illuminated late night thoughts, your content was light-hearted, soft, and personable. 

And if you weren't doing any of those things, you were modeling.

You were a beauty influencer, so you had sponsors from different makeup companies and such. What was most distinguishable from your personal brand was that you were one of Sanrio's biggest ambassadors. If there was someone that was the living embodiment of Hello Kitty, it was you.

Your personability, and your ability to feel authentic to your viewers, was a key factor in your large viewerbase. And what contributed to that the most was the fact that you had no idea how to use a camera. One would think that a content creator would know how to use a camera, but you were somehow the exception.

Not a problem!

Because you had your boyfriend, Jake!

Who was basically the master of content creation and film, in your opinion.

"Jakey!" you pounced on your boyfriend the moment he appeared at your apartment doorway. You threw your arms around his neck, immediately peppering his neck and cheeks with kisses. You heard him let out a few chuckles, feeling the rumble of his strong chest as he did. 

"Geez, babe, let me take my shoes off first," Jake teased you, taking in your sweet strawberry perfume. You immediately peeled yourself off of him, your lips forming a cute frown. 

"Shut up," you murmured, punching him on the arm while you jutted your bottom lip out. The lip tint and gloss on them shined, which made Jake grin. And when you noticed that he was staring at your lips, you gave him a gentle shove before saying again, “Shut up, Jakey.”

There it was, his favorite thing about you.

You were so, very, really, undeniably, mean to him.

Okay, that sounded weird.

But it was the truth.

Your relationship could be summed up in a few words—

You were just the cutest, and could barely contain your feelings for Jake, so you'd get all cuddly and affectionate with him. He'd tease you about it, so you'd get all shy and flustered, and you would begin to be mean to him. You'd call him stupid or annoying, and you'd tell him to go away but make no effort to resist his arms wrapping around your waist, pulling you against his chest. And then he would get to tease you more, until you were so embarrassed that you relented and let him kiss you.

How could he not resist teasing you?

You were always so pretty, with makeup or not, and it was easy to tease you since you got embarrassed so easily.

Even if he was holding his most expensive camera in his hands, he'd still let you pounce on him, if it meant that he got one extra kiss from you.

You led him to your bedroom. It had the same sweet, strawberry scent as you. Your room was pink, and along the walls were shelves, all filled with the many, many plushies that Jake bought you. Plopping onto your bed, Jake watched as you dug around your filming desk.

"Sooo," he started, "You're gonna do a promotional post on Instagram?"

You hummed. Sanrio recently launched a new line of lip tints, and they sent you their newest ones to review and promote. 

"I already made a review, and it's going to go up later," you said, digging through your drawers. "I want to make a promo post, too, y'know?"

You let out an 'a-ha!' as you found what you were looking for. It was a tube of lip-tint, the newest one from the collection. You then touched up your makeup a little more. 

Jake watched you in awe. The way you applied lip gloss and brushed setting powder (or was it blush? he didn't know anything about makeup) onto your cheeks was so mesmerizing, as you weren't already so captivating to him.

Finally, you stood up, straightening out your outfit. You puckered your lips, and when you noticed Jake staring at you, you gave him a little twirl.

"How do I look?" you asked. 

Jake, with his camera in hand, pointed the lens at you. He looked through the viewfinder.

"Beautiful." 

As always.

The shoot went smoothly. As you always did when Jake was your photographer, the two of you drove to the film studio, renting out a room for a good hour. Jake was a pro with the camera and you were an even bigger pro at modeling. Other than a few compositional edits or changes in exposure, you and Jake were done as soon as you started. The two of you decided that you’d go back to your place, cook dinner together, and maybe watch a movie.

Except that got delayed.

“Y-You’re so annoying, Jake,” you struggled out. You were in the back seat of your car, legs thrown over your boyfriend’s hips, his soft lips connected to your neck. Your fingers gently tugged on his hair, you yourself pressing soft pecks against his forehead and temples. It started because you gave Jake a kiss on the cheek as a ‘thank you,’ which spiraled into a makeout session in your car.

“What,” he breathed against your skin, dark eyes flickering up to yours. “You said you’d do anything to express your thanks for me.”

Jake kissed your neck again, before trailing up your throat to your jaw. Your fingers raked through his soft hair, pushing his dark locks out of his face so that you could see his face clearly. Jake reached up, took your hand out of his hair, and instead held your palm against his cheek, nuzzling into your warm hand. The way your eyes widened into saucers, lips parting, in response made the man’s lips curve upward.

“W-Well I thought you’d ask me to hug you… or something,” you said sheepishly, your voice soft as your boyfriend’s actions flustered you.

Jake grinned to himself internally before pulling away from you altogether. 

“Then do you want to stop?” Your eyes widened a fraction. “Then, let’s go hom—“

“No!” you cut him off, your hands squeezing his shoulders. “Let’s not!”

You stared at him, brows furrowed, for a few moments, before you noticed the growing grin on your boyfriend’s face. That look you knew too well, the one that said that he was going to tease the everlasting fuck out of you.

Jake pulled you in by the waist, close enough so that your chests touched, noses almost brushing against each other. He could feel the heat radiating off your face, and you could hear the smile in his voice.

“You sure you don’t wanna stop?” His voice was teasing, but you knew better. The earnest look in his eyes, you stared into yours, was filled with sincerity. He gave your waist a squeeze, almost as if to ask, “Do you actually want this?”

“Yes, Jakey,” you breathed against his lips, matter-of-factly. “I don’t wanna stop.”

The corner of his lips begin to lift.

“So you better kiss me,” you quipped, gripping his shoulders.

“Thought you’d never ask,” he rasped back, before attacking your lips.

(Later, when you were done, you two went home and went about your plan for the night. Except, you had to yell at Jake to go wash his face, because the sight of your lipstick at the corner of his lips was too much for you to take.)

"Hi, everyone!" you greeted the camera, folding your hands in your lap. With your thick, pink, knit sweater's sleeves falling over your wrists, you shot the lens a pretty smile. It was another normal day on the job of making content.

"As you guys know, VidCon is coming up soon." You pulled your makeup pouch toward your chest, leaning against the edge of your filming desk. "So, let's pack with me!"

Vidcon was an event for people to meet all of their favorite Youtubers. This year, you were invited to be one of the featured creators, given your popularity. As you filmed your "Pack with Me!" vlog, surrounded by ring lights aided by your windows cracked open, you recalled the email you had sent earlier, squeezing your eyes shut.

You see, Jake and you were both invited to VidCon. Since no one else, not even Youtube the corporation or your fellow Youtubers, knew that you guys were dating, Jake and you were given vastly different things. Youtube booked an entire hotel complex for all of its creators, and unfortunately, your room was located 10 floors below Jake's room. And worse, your booths and events were so far apart from each other that you probably wouldn't even see your boyfriend even if he decided to traverse the Convention. 

That's what you got for being vastly different content creators.

This year would be the first year that you and Jake got invited to VidCon, and you two wanted to share this experience with each other as much as possible.

Which is why you just shot Youtube one of the most embarrassing emails of your life.

"Hi, Youtube. The hotel complex you booked has a bar, and it is much closer to the top than the bottom. I really want to visit that bar. Can I request a room change so that my room is maybe on the 15th or 16th floors?" except add more formalities and much more discreet language, and that was the email you sent to your employers. You knew that it wouldn't be hard, and that the Youtube PR manager wouldn't reject your request. After all, you were the Sanrio beauty girl. Regardless, you'd gotten a response about an hour ago, and your request was approved, luckily. 

As you continued talking to your camera, folding your clothes neatly while chatting to your viewers about updates in your life, you thought about what you and Jake should do at VidCon. It was in the LA area, but you definitely wanted to visit other places in Southern California. 

It was no surprise that you and Jake had been more than touchy and close to each other. You were dating. Still, butterflies formed in your stomach as you thought about what you would do with him. Your face heated up at the thought of you and him spending time together in the hotel's rooftop hot-tub. The idea of him sneaking in your room at night, warming you up and pepperinging your cheeks with kisses, made your heart rate speed up, and you could only relish in the thought of exploring LA, Irvine, or wherever Jake wanted to take you with him.

You were a grown woman with a job and responsibilities, but the mere thought of your boyfriend being within the same vicinity as you made you nervous.

Just as you finished folding your clothes, you heard your front door crack open.

"Babe?" you hear Jake's voice call out your name. You turn off your camera to greet him, swearing to forget all of the thoughts you just had. Except, the moment that you locked eyes with him, all determination to not be teased left your body. Your lips wobbled, trying to bite back that stupid, bashful, and lovesick smile that made its way onto your face when you thought about Jake, but your eyes gave it all away. Instead of throwing yourself at him like you usually did, you only reached for the hem of his black T-shirt, playing with it sheepishly. 

You mumbled a small, "Hi."

You could feel Jake staring at you, and you could hear the way his lips curve into a smug, shit-eating grin.

"Shut up," you told him, your eyebrows crashing together.

"Baby, I didn't even say anything," Jake said, his hands finding their place on your lower back.

You felt shy and exposed before him. "Well, I know you're going to say something."

Jake grasped your chin, gently making you look at him. You tried to avoid his eyes, but it was impossible to avoid those dreamy, caramel eyes. Then, he took your face with both his hands, leaning in.

Was he going to kiss you? Oh my god, he was! Quick! What do you do? You felt like you were going to melt.

Instinctively, your hands tightened on the hem of his shirt, the black fabric scrunching in your fists. You closed your eyes, your lips softly puckering. You could feel him coming closer and closer, until his breath fanned your cheek.

As if he hadn't kissed you a million times before, your heart felt like it was going to fall out of your chest. 

Jake ghosted his lips over yours, inching just close enough that he could brush his lip against yours. 

And then, he pulled away from you. He took off his shoes, placed down his keys, and made his way into your bedroom, leaving you there standing alone.

Heat spread across your face and neck and ears as you realized your boyfriend had just teased you once again. You hid your face in your palms, letting out a small whine of embarrassment, before recollecting yourself and joining your boyfriend.

"Woah, what's going on here, babe?" Jake asked, standing at your bedroom doorway. 

"Oh." There was clothes and film equipment sprawled across your floor and bed. "I was filming a video."

You saw Jake's expression twitch, before he took your hands in his.

"My bad, was I interrupting something?" He was sincere in how his face showed a small drop of guilt for disrupting your filming. How could someone be such a tease one moment yet be so genuine the next?

"No, it's okay, Jakey," you said. "I mean, I need to finish my video, but I don't mind if you're around."

And that's how you found yourself trying not to burst out laughing as you filmed your video. Jake kept making funny faces at you, that goofy grin growing on his face as he wiggled his eyebrows at you.

"Jake, stop making faces!" you laughed, throwing a shirt at him.

He dodged it, throwing his head back into one of the plushies that he bought you. "I'm not doing anything!"

You threw another shirt at him, this time hitting him square in the face. Instead of admitting defeat, Jake only grabbed your shirt, pulling the fabric to his nose and taking a long, dramatic, sniff. 

"You smell sooooo good, babe," he said, ignoring your contorted expression, "I think I'm gonna keep this. You won't mind, right?"

"Ugh, Jaaaaakee!"

You plopped on top of him in bed. You felt his chest rumble as chuckles left his lips, rolling your eyes at him. You gave his chest a smack, a pout forming on your lips.

"You're so annoying," you mumbled as his hands slithered up to your hips. He gave your ass a pat, gesturing you to adjust your position. You did, sitting up so that you straddled your boyfriend's hips.

"And you're so pretty," he said, squeezing your hipbone.

"Let go of me," you poked him in the chest, but made no attempt to get off of him. 

"No."

"I need to finish my video," you pouted, still not moving to get off of him. 

"I don't care." Jake instead sat up on his elbows, his hands sliding down to your lower back, his face getting suspiciously close to your boobs. "Just lay with me."

Your fingers ran through his dark locks, before giving them a tug towards your chest. Jake laid his cheek against your boobs like they were pillows, arms wrapped around your waist. You could feel his hot breath against your skin and neck. The next thing you knew, he was pressing sticky kisses against your chest and neck, soft gasps escaping your lips.

"Sorry, babe," he muttered against the shell of your ear, "I just can't resist you."

You let out a soft "ahhh!" when he bit down on your skin, his teeth brushing against the nape of your neck. Jake briefly pulled away, a smirk making its way onto his face as he admired the red-purple mark on your neck. 

"You're just too addicting."

Long story short, your video was still finished and uploaded. As Jake edited his video, he let yours play in the background, your bright voice illuminating his dark room. Somehow, your voice was the only thing that made him focus. 

However, when he heard a familiar laugh— his laugh— in your video, Jake stopped in his tracks.

His mind flashed back to what happened the other day in your apartment, when he interrupted you during your filming.

"I don't know if I turned off my camera, Jake," you had purred as Jake's tongue dipped into your collarbone. At that point, both you and him were shirtless, hair disheveled and pupils blown out with desire. Jake remembered the electricity that ran through him as those words left your lips.

"Am I supposed to care?" he had muttered, trailing kisses down your chest. "If they hear us, that's not my problem."

It was almost like you, who edited your video, added that clip to tease him. 

Immediately, his cheeks began turning the brightest shade of red possible. If you were here, he would have only coughed and looked away shyly, but since he was alone, his embarrassment spread across his face like a wildfire. Jake almost never showed it when he was flustered, at least when he was around you. 

He hid his face in his palms, sucking in a sharp breath. He squeezed his eyes shut, warmth prickling his skin. You were going to be the death of him. He let out a small, lovesick giggle, one that his friends would flame him for. He couldn't help it, not if it was you. 

When he read the comments, still flustered out of his mind, he felt a twinge of disappointment when no one seemed to notice him. 

For some reason, Jake couldn’t help but want people to know that you were his. He knew that you and him kept your relationship private to preserve it, but he still wanted to show you off.

Except, one comment caught his eye.

“Wait, does [Name] have a boyfriend? Who laughed at 6:34?” it read. Jake’s heart skipped a beat in his chest. The warmth that spread across his chest as his lips pulled upwards. He almost wanted to jump on his bed and roll around while giggling like a schoolgirl, but he contained himself.

At the corner of his eye, Jake spotted a certain plushie. 

As you were a partner of Sanrio, for a time there was a Limited Edition [Name] plushie, clad in pink with a cute, ruffle-lace bow to top it all off. Of course he bought one the moment it launched. Jake preferred his room to be completely dark and black, but he liked to keep that plushie on his bed, and although he’d never admit it, he hugged it when he slept if you weren’t with him.

Would it be wrong of him to tease you back? After all, Jake still had to film the brand deal for his new video. 

Would it hurt to position the plushie just enough so that it was in frame? 

So that maybe someone would see it.

Vidcon came crashing on you and Jake like a meteor, and before the two of you knew it, you were in the venue, wringing your fingers as the event commenced.

Sometimes, it was difficult for you to comprehend the level of your popularity. Sure, the numbers that Youtube loved to display for you told you that you had millions watching you, but mere numerical figures were simply not enough for you to wrap your mind around.

Your schedule that day was simple: you were going to have a booth that you'd tend to for an hour or two, where your fans could take pictures with you and take a few freebies with them. Then, you'd go to your main event, which was in a smaller venue.

At your booth, where you sat currently, your personal table was set up in a very special way: your table was pink, and covered in a lacy, white tablecloth. Even the wall behind you was specifically painted pink and decorated with various Sanrio-esque decorations. You had stickers that you'd give out, as well as a Limited Edition Vidcon Sanrio plushie of you that people could buy. The pink polaroid decorated with Hello Kitty stickers hung around your neck with a pink lanyard. You genuinely looked like Sanrio and Hello Kitty vomited all over you, but you didn't mind. And plus, that didn't matter, because you were cute either way.

You were hit with pure surprise as multiple groups of fans came your way. The amount of people that came to you, rambling nervously about how much they loved you, how much they looked up to you, how much you inspired them and made their days better, made you feel light-headed. And very warm inside.

Jake was the one that did the talking for you (thank goodness!), but for some reason, you pushed through your usual shyness, instead wanting for people to come up to you and talk.

Your face lit up as one of your fans, a girl that looked around your age, maybe only a few years younger than you, approached you. You could tell by the Sanrio sticker of you on her phone case that she was most definitely here for you.

"Oh my gosh, hi [Name]!" She gazed at you with wide, glimmering eyes. 

Your initial reaction was surprise, but then you broke out into a smile. You cocked your head, fingers gripping the hem of your dress, both nervous and excited. "Hi, there."

You fan took one look at your face, and squealed. The way that she giggled, bouncing on her feet as she fangirled over you made warmth spread across your cheeks, getting shy and looking down briefly.

"I'm sorry, [Name]!" Your fan couldn't stop giggling, which you thought was very cute. It was now that you noticed the camera in your hand. "I just really love your content, and I'm just so excited to meet you in real life!"

You blinked at her a few times, before you smile only widened. 

"Don't worry about it!" you said, taking her free hand in yours. Your shyness melted away as your fan squealed again. "It really means a lot to me that you came out here to personally see me."

Your eyes flickered over to her camera, squeezing her hand and motioning to it with your other. "Can I...?"

She nodded enthusiastically, so you took her camera. Turn on the 'photo' setting, you posed for the camera, taking multiple pictures of yourself for her. You hoped that that would make up for your shyness. The two of you hugged, and you took many polaroids for her.

Almost immediately, after she left, you were tagged in a Twitter thread. It was that fan, reporting her experience with you.

"She was so much prettier in real life, I thought I was in heaven," her tweets detailed, "And [Name] was so sweet! It felt like I was meeting the real life Hello Kitty."

She posted the pictures you took on her camera, and then the videos. You couldn't help but grin like an idiot, especially at the comments (and the rapidly-accumulating likes and retweets).

"The way [Name] gets so shy is so cute!"

"I don't really watch beauty content but I love [Name] so much."

"She's like an actual Disney Princess."

You loved your fans, you really did. You were grateful for them, and you thought they were very cute. 

You were excited to see how Vidcon would treat you.

Jake was fighting.

He was fighting demons, wars, the little voices in his head.

Did you have to look so pretty today?

Jake's own event was an entire venue away from yours. He had a few events, so after his first one, he took a small break, where he looked through his notifications. 

Of course, the first thing he looked at was your texts. They were from a while ago, during his show when he didn't have his phone on him, so he responded to them now. He smiled at your cute texts, expressing how excited and happy you were. His heart jumped out of his chest when he saw the selfie you sent him: there you were, in all your cutesy Sanrio glory, smiling so prettily for him. Jake had to clasp his face to hide the stupid, love-struck grin that bled onto his face. 

"Oi, what're you giggling about?" Jake was interrupted by Jay, another one of his fellow horror Youtubers.

Jake immediately wiped his expression clean. "Nothing."

When he glanced back at his phone, that dumb grin began to form again.

Jay groaned. "This is so weird. It's like watching Batman smile."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jake scoffed.

"I'm sayin' that you're basically Youtube's Batman," Jay scrunched his nose, "And it's weird seein' you all... smiley and stuff."

"I literally smiled earlier!"

"Not in the way that you did just now. I have a bad feeling about it."

"Shut up!"

Jake really tried his best to swallow back his pure admiration for you as he opened his phone screen again, but he failed miserably.

He wished he could see you right now. He loved to see his fans, he loved to talk to them about their shared interest: all things horror and obscure.

But Jake missed you right now.

His heart plummeted to his stomach, however, when he logged onto Twitter, and saw the worst hashtag he could ever think of: #[Name]isSoCute.

He agreed with it. No, he embraced that sentiment with every molecule in his being.

Just... he wished that he could see you right now. When he checked the tag and saw all the cute pictures that people took of you and the sweet experiences they had with you, he frowned— That should be him!

However, Jake actually saw the worst thing to ever materialize when he saw the top video under the tag.

It was a shaky video, starting off with a teenage boy walking up to you. In the background, he could hear your pretty voice in the background, exchanging small greetings and words with the poster. Jake was almost lost in his sheer love for you when his eyes narrowed. The boy in the video let out a little chuckle, before dropping a cheesy pick-up line on you.

"[Name], if you were a vegetable, you'd be a cute-cumber." What made it worse was that you only giggled, leading the boy to drop a few other dumb pick-up lines. The camera panned up to you, showing you all smiley and bashful. Then, you and the boy hugged, before taking a few polaroids together.

Jake almost snapped his phone in half.

He understood better than anyone that you were a content creator just like him. It was part of the job to interact with fans, and given your character, of course you were sweet to them. He could tell that you were perfectly comfortable in the video, and that the kid probably was just joking around with his favorite Youtuber.

But did that stop Jake from mentally lambasting every single aspect of the video? Absolutely not.

Shaky camera, probably filmed on a phone, Jake's hands balled into fists, Fucked up aperture, exposure to low, bad mic.

Was he being a little immature? Yes, and Jake knew that. 

Though, Jake would admit that he agreed with a lot of comments and retweets under that post, hearting many of them in agreement.

"[Name] is such a cutie!" one read.

Absolutely.

"I love her so much," another read.

Me too, Jake thought.

"I want her so bad."

Just as Jake's finger hovered over the 'heart' button, he let out a small hmph. Did it annoy him that other people wanted you? Yes. But did he disagree with the comment? Nope. He pressed the "like" button.

He wanted to see you so bad. As Jake was queued up on stage, ready for his second event, he hoped that he could see you soon.

And his wish came true a few hours later.

It was now past noon, and Vidcon was in its (unofficial) intermission period, where a lot of the creators were now taking breaks. As Jake traversed the convention, he texted you trying to find a spot where the two of you could meet.

He passed the many booths and venues of his fellow Youtubers. The layout was unique in the way that Youtubers of similar genres were placed in similar areas. So when he started seeing Youtubers with bright makeup and problematic pasts, Jake knew that he was near you.

And lo and behold, soon he found you. Under the fluorescent light, you still glowed. There was some kind of halo around you as you turned over your shoulder, your face instantly brightening up as you spotted your boyfriend. You had a few fans that you were talking to at the moment, so you tended to them first, while Jake made his way over to you.

You and Jake agreed that you wouldn't make your relationship too obvious at Vidcon, but all of that was left forgotten the moment that Jake saw you. 

However, as you ran up to him, people couldn't help but stop and stare.

Why wouldn't they? You were the living embodiment of Sanrio, that one Hello Kitty girl, whereas Jake was that one guy that made scary content and was often shrouded in darkness, dubbed as Youtube's personal Batman. Absolutely no one would have expected to see the two of you interacting with one another, let alone be within the same vicinity.

"Hi, Jakey," you smiled up at him, and Jake thought that he could die right there. With the amount of people staring, Jake had to restrain himself from throwing his arms around you and hugging you.

"Hey, baby," he grinned. 

Before either of you could do anything, you and Jake were interrupted by a shrill squeal. You whipped your heads around to see a young girl and her older brother, who still looked relatively young. They explained nervously that the girl liked your content, while the brother liked Jake's content. They were expecting to scour in order for each of them to meet either of you, but were surprised to see you and Jake in one place.

You and Jake took a few pictures with them, both individually. Though, the two of them requested a picture with both you and Jake in the same frame, which you happily did.

When they left, you and Jake shared a look, before going off together.

Vidcon Day 1: Over.

Jake returned to his hotel room, too tired to do anything other than wash up and order room service. 

As Jake laid in his half-hard hotel mattress, he scrolled through his phone. He was tagged in a lot of pictures and tweets, and he found himself grinning at a lot of the sweet words his fans left. Although he was tired, he could definitely do this a few more times, feeling invigorated by his fans.

As he scrolled, the trending Twitter hashtag caught his eye.

#HelloKittyMeetsBatman.

Interesting name, he thought as he clicked on it.

Jake's heart skipped a beat as he saw what came up.

Apparently, people were extremely surprised to see you and Jake so close to each other. 

There were so many pictures of you and him taken together from afar just from that one instance earlier, from multiple different angles and distances. Jake would admit, the way he was dressed in all black while you were dressed in cute pinks and whites was almost laughable.

What truly caught his attention were the captions of all these pictures.

"Craziest crossover of 2024."

"I'm crying they legitimately look like Hello Kitty and Batman."

"Jake Sim and [Name] interacting was not on my Vidcon 2024 bingo card."

"This is like seeing two worlds collide, absolutely wild but I'm pleasantly surprised."

For the most part, it seemed like everyone just thought that you and Jake were friends, but it was still a little funny how taken aback the entire internet was.

Then, he saw the picture of you, him, and those two kids together. 

"They look like a family," was one of the most popular retweets under that post. 

Family.

That word rang through Jake's head, before he buried his face in one of the pillows, giggling to himself. He felt a little ridiculous getting so excited over such a small comment, but he couldn't help it. He felt so giddy inside at the thought of having a family with you, and felt even giddier knowing that people could see it, too.

Suddenly, his phone rang. Jake wasn't going to answer it, too caught up in his flustered-ness, but when he realized that it was you, he quickly cleared his throat, instinctively straightening out his hair (because what if he accidentally turns on his camera?-- he needed to look good for you!).

"Baby," he greeted suavely, as if he wasn't just giggling like a schoolgirl seconds ago.

Maybe it was the fact that it was already getting late, or the fact that Jake barely saw you today, or the fact that you were just so goddamn perfect, but your voice sounded so attractive in that moment.

"Jakeyyy," you whined. "Come over."

His chest was already throbbing but Jake played it cool.

He chuckled. "What for?"

"I miss you," he could hear the pout in your voice. "And I want your attention."

It was rare for you to be so direct with him, and while Jake wanted to melt on the spot, he wanted to tease you a bit longer.

"What's wrong with just being on the phone with me?" Jake's lips pulled into a smirk. "You can just talk to me like this."

"Noooo," you said. "I want— I want you."

Jake tried his best to not crumble then and there, but it was too hard.

"Fuck," he muttered under his breath. "Okay then, baby. I'll come over right now."

He didn't miss the cute little "yay!" you let out before you hung up.

You were going to be the death of him.

"Eep! Jake, what are you doing here—?!”

You’re cut off when you realized that you were, in fact, backstage of one of your events. Today was the second day of Vidcon, and you had just finished up your first event. As you went backstage, carrying the little bags of gifts that your fans got you, you didn’t expect your own boyfriend to be waiting back there for you.

“Hey there, Princess,” he said cheekily, sprawled across the backstage couch. "Miss me?"

He opened his arms up, and you instinctively crawled into them, sitting on his lap and sliding your arms around his neck. 

As you did, you eyed him up and down.

Clad in black as always, he wore a black button-up, paired with black slacks, a black belt, and a loose, black tie. That's right: today, Jake was going to have a panel with a whole bunch of other horror creators, ones that transcended the internet— authors, authors that Jake spent his whole life reading and looking up to, which explained why he was dressed significantly more proper today than yesterday.

The way his shirt fit his chest and hugged his shoulders made it hard for you to not stare, and the way that it wasn't buttoned at the top, revealing his honey-tan collarbones, mixed with the scent of his rich cologne, made you feel dizzy.

"Ay, are you checkin' me out?"

On any other day, you'd be embarrassed, maybe even pushing him away, but today, you only nodded your head, humming mindlessly in agreement.

Jake blinked at you, before he pulled you in by the waist so that you were flushed against his chest completely.

"Kiss me," you mumbled, pushing his dark bangs away from his face.

Jake chuckled, rubbing your cheek with his knuckles. "What's with you these days? Getting so bold."

You only leaned into his touch. Maybe it was sometime in the LA air, or maybe it was the vigor that your fans gave you earlier, but all you could do was look at your boyfriend with glossy, wide eyes innocently, watching the way that his resolve trembled.

"Shit," Jake cursed under his breath. "Hold on—"

He grabbed your hips, then tilted your chin so that he could have a better angle. Your lips crashed into one another. Not in the way that a meteor would crash into Earth's delicate atmosphere, but in the way that gentle sea waves crashed onto themselves, dark folds of blue creasing over each other, only to brush up against the foamy seashore, none the wiser. 

Jake liked the taste of your lip gloss; it tasted sweet, but not nearly as sweet as you, hungrily squeezing your hips in his hands. He swiped his tongue over your bottom lip, earning a squeal from you, who tugged on his hair. 

When you pulled away from each other, you were breathless, chests heaving not for air, but for each other. You stared at each other for a few moments, losing time in each other's eyes, when your eyes trailed down.

God, the button-up and tie were going to drive you crazy.

Without thought, your fingers twirled around his tie, slinking up his chest before you yanked him harshly, jerking Jake toward you abruptly. 

In a moment of pure, unadulterated boldness, you attacked his neck, laying sticky kisses all across his skin. One hand laced itself in Jake's hair, keeping a firm hold of his tilted head, while your other hand crept around the buttons of his shirt. 

Each soft sigh that Jake let out made you only press more kisses on him. When he let out one particularly loud whine, his arm jerking up to grab at the couch's armrest, you knew that you found the sensitive spot on his neck. You pressed another kiss on that spot, this time sinking your teeth into his skin. The hickey was dark and purple, and when you ran your tongue over it, Jake's hands shot to your hips again.

"Shit, [Name], wait a sec—"

Skillfully, your fingers began to slowly unbutton Jake's shirt, just enough that you could see more of his chest. 

Your head was feeling fuzzy now, drunk off your desire for him. The way he threw his head back, his Adam's apple bobbing with each gulp of air he took in, curses falling from his lips, sent electricity coursing through your body.

When you unbuttoned the last button, you noticed the way Jake's eyes were squeezed shut, his other arm resting over them, hands balled into fists as his desperation for you increased.

"Jakey," you said. Jake was going to go mad, the way your voice was so soft and innocent as it said his name, all the while you were kissing and touching him in ways that made him go light-headed. He squeezed his eyes shut, another whimper escaping his lips. If he looked you in the eye right now, he was sure that he'd burst. "I want you to look at me."

He couldn't refuse you. Immediately, he opened his eyes, the arm strewn over his face dropping back to its position on your hips.

If he didn't die by combustion, Jake was certain that he'd die now— Your pupils were blown out, eyes lidded and staring at him like he was your prey to be slaughtered. He'd seen you wrought with desire so many times before, but the way you gazed at him like he was a piece of meat, like you were going to absolutely ruin him, made him feel weak.

"Watch me, Jakey," your voice sounded so sweet, but your actions said otherwise. You abruptly got up from your seat on his lap, Jake frowning at the loss of your touch. You dug through your purse thrown across the room, returning with a tube of lipstick.

You plopped back onto Jake's lap, making sure that he was watching as you applied it to your pretty, swollen lips. 

Then, you discarded it, throwing your lipstick to the side as you snatched his tie again. You brought the black fabric to your lips, staring your boyfriend down as you pressed kisses on his tie. You kissed it a few times, making sure that the color of your lipstick, as well as the shape of your lips, was well-imprinted on it.

Then, you yanked his shirt's collar toward you, pressing a harsh kiss on the fabric, making sure that the shape of your lips was once again imprinted on the fabric.

You looked back up at his face, unable to hide your smugness as his entire expression was painted with red.

"You're so hot—" Jake attempted to force out of his throat, but you only cut him off with a rough kiss to his lips. Without a word, you covered his face, from his forehead to his jaw, with kisses.

You pulled back to admire your work, before you pulled away from him.

"I have to be on stage in a few minutes," you said quietly, your back turned to him as you straightened out your skirt. Dumbfounded, Jake could only stare at you, but when you turned over your shoulder, flashing him a bright, but terribly cheeky, grin, Jake's heart fell out of chest. "I can't be late, right?"

With that, you left your boyfriend, all hot and bothered, on the couch, running off to prepare for your next event.

Almost immediately, Jake melted. He threw an arm over his eyes as he leaned back, letting out a groan.

Was this how you felt when he teased you?

Was he now sexually frustrated? Absolutely. But now he wanted you even more.

After mulling over it for a few minutes, Jake began to go back to his venue. But, as he passed the backstage vanity, he caught sight of himself in the mirror.

Some of it was obvious to him already: disheveled hair, messed up shirt. But what made Jake want to evaporate was the sight of his entire face and neck covered in lipstick marks. The corner of his lip had a big lipstick smudge, the hickey that you gave him earlier was so dark now, and he couldn't even dare to forget your lip imprints on his shirt and tie.

You little tease.

Jake's last straw was.... right now.

After the backstage fiasco, he didn't get to see you all day. That night, you had a PR event to attend with your fellow beauty creators, so he didn't get to see you at night either.

Which was why Jake was practically glowing with a dark and negative storm cloud as he pranced around the third day of Vidcon. It didn't help that he saw so many pictures of you and fans all across platforms. Poor guy almost lost it when one of your fans' vlogs blew up, the most replayed part being when you let out the most angelic and sweet laughs he'd ever heard in his life.

That should be him!

Meanwhile, Jake sat in the convention room at a panel. Lined up along the table were other horror creators, from authors to Youtubers to filmmakers, similar to yesterday. The way that this specific event operated was simple: fans got to ask anyone on the panel questions and they'd answer, which the entire room got to hear, and later there would be one-on-ones along the panel.

Jake was pulled out of his thoughts when one of the fans said that they had a question for him.

"Jake, your videos take a long time to make, how do you balance work and your personal life?"

Good question. He had a simple principle when it came to how to balance everything. Jake thought about it for a moment, before reaching for his microphone.

"I don't have any outright method," he began. Jake's mind flashed with your image: all the cute messages you'd send him throughout the day, all the times where after hours of rotting in front of his computer screen he could always count on your loving embrace to give him life, all times that he'd tune into your Spotify playlist so that he could be listening to what you were listening. It was easy to balance work and life, if it was you. "But I always put my life before the screen."

The room was quiet, intently listening to what Jake had to say. After all, he was renowned all across the Internet.

The room was quiet, intently listening to what Jake had to say. After all, he was renowned all across the Internet.

"To be clear, I understand the privilege of getting to work in a profession like mine," Jake continued. "I don't expect everyone to be able to follow my advice exactly, but the more I live, the more I realize that what happens before my very eyes will endlessly matter so much more than what happens in my own little Youtube bubble."

Jake's mouth jumped to you faster than his mind could stop him.

"My beautiful girlfriend is everything to me," he unconsciously began to grin stupidly to himself, "I'd put her above work any day if I had to."

The moment that those words left his lips, the room erupted with gasps and whispers.

"Wait, you have a girlfriend?!" one of Jake's Youtuber friends asked, leading the room to laugh.

Oh.

Shit.

Jake's eyes visibly widened. He clutched his microphone, bringing it up to his mouth, but no words came out.

There was no way in hell that he'd outright deny you, not even in a million years.

"I.... Well..." Jake stammered, trying his best to generate any words at all. He sucked in a sharp breath, a bashful expression making its way onto his face. "That's..."

The room filled with more laughter, alongside the teasing grins and pats on the back that Jake got from his colleagues.

"Oh, so that's what you were giggling about yesterday, lover boy..." Jay, also on the panel, quipped, his brows raised so high on his forehead that it could have touched his hairline.

"Sh-Shut up, Jay!"

Jake's chest felt fizzy. In a weird way.

A part of him felt on-edge. You and him always wanted to keep your relationship secret, for the sake of preserving it. He'd seen what the Internet did to relationships: it tore them apart. It wasn't like he name-dropped you, but he felt so... exposed, so vulnerable.

But at the same time, Jake felt his chest also swell with pride. That's right. He had a girlfriend (a hot girlfriend at that), a girlfriend that he was nefariously down bad for. He hoped everyone knew that, that he was taken and that if there was anyone that he'd spend the rest of his life with, it would be you.

Jake huffed. "Yeah, I have a girlfriend. What about it?"

No one questioned him further. Probably out of fear.

You were in the middle of trying your best to get through a conversation with some beauty guru that you knew one thing about: their personal makeup line launch failed horribly and they gave everyone hairy lipsticks. It was difficult, to say the least.

Exchanging your final regards, you quickly rushed back to your booth.

The first thing you saw when you checked your phone was a viral video, in which Jake admitted that he had a girlfriend. Your heart plummeted to your stomach when you initially read the caption, but when you watched the video, you had a difficult time processing your feelings.

Did you hate that Jake admitted that he had a girlfriend? … No, you didn’t. You didn’t at all. At a certain point, seeing the way that your boyfriend smiled so earnestly made your heart jump out of your chest. The way he was so giddy and smiley (of course, only you could tell that that was how he was feeling— to everyone else it probably looked like he was brooding) made your neck and cheeks warm up.

But, the way that the room erupted with voices and laughter, combined with the quirked brows of everyone on the panel, made you quiver.

You weren’t prepared for it, for how vulnerable you felt as a chorus of “ooh’s” filled the room.

Frankly, there were too many things that you had to focus on at the moment. You'd rather enjoy Vidcon now, and address it later, when things settle down. 

Pushing it to the back of your mind, you tucked your phone away, greeting another wave of fans. Though, not without taking an extra second to "heart" the post, adding it to your favorites folder, and rewatching the video one more time, feeling warmth and giddiness filling your chest.

As the cool night air kissed your cheeks, you fought the shy smile that seeped onto your face. It was late now, late enough that you could see all the city lights gleaming, lighting up the dark sky with blotches of all different colors.

There was a Vidcon party for creators, to celebrate the end of the event. Everyone was going. Although it was meant for any creator, there was a very exclusive VIP section; only those of high prestige could get in. Both you and Jake were invited, but upon realizing that nearly the entire hotel complex would be empty due to the popularity of the party, the two of you ditched it.

You'd been wanting to go to the rooftop hottub for a while now, but you never went because you wanted to go with Jake, and it was always too crowded for the two of you to go there comfortably. But now that everyone was gone, it was the perfect time.

Your boyfriend was already waiting for you up there, towel thrown over his shoulder with a shirt and swim trunks. His face lit up the moment he saw yours emerging from the elevator doors, rushing over to you to take your hands.

He paused for a moment. His dark eyes peered at yours, licking his lips before sucking in a sharp breath. Jake gave your forehead a peck, before saying a small "C'mon" and pulling you over to the hottub.

Jake took your towel for you, folding it next to his and perching it on a sunchair.

"They're gonna get off fireworks soon— Oh, damn," he cut himself off as you pulled your shirt over your head, revealing a bikini top. Your face scrunched up, squirming under his gaze. It's not like Jake has never seen you like this (in fact, he'd seen you in much more compromising positions), and it wasn't like he never complimented you, but as the hottub bubbled, the rosy scent of the water filling the air, you felt shy.

Jake slinked toward you, taking his own shirt off. 

"Hey there, Gorgeous," he said, his fingers playing with the hem of your shorts that had yet to be taken off. Your heart pounded in your chest, fighting the urge to squeeze your eyes shut and groan in embarrassment. You kept your eyes glued to the ground. Jake chuckled softly, before clutching your chin gently, making you look up at him.

"Don't get shy on me now, babe," Jake grinned when your lips pressed into an unconscious pout. He squished your cheek, relishing in the look of confusion painted across your face. Then, his hands fell to your hips, pulling them toward his. "You look so beautiful."

Jake's fingers hooked onto the hem of your shorts, meeting your eyes for permission before pulling them down himself, revealing your bikini bottoms.

Jake's eyes glazed over your figure, taking his bottom lip in between his teeth.

"Jaaakee," you whined, squeezing his hands.

"Sorry," Jake's eyes flickered up to your face. "I can't help it. You're just so hot, baby."

You rolled your eyes, biting back shyness, before you pulled him toward the hottub.

You rolled your eyes, biting back shyness, before you pulled him toward the hottub. 

The two of you got into the tub, sinking into the warm water, you felt your limbs relax. 

Vidcon was very fun, some of the most fun you've had in a while. But, it was very tiring, having to be around so many people at a time. And plus, it was hard not seeing your boyfriend whenever you wanted.

You pulled your knees to your chest. You could hear the loud techno music a few blocks away, probably coming from the club nearby. The bright night lights of LA was something that you could only imagine sleeping under.

Other than the sound of the city bustles, the hot tub’s jet system, and the occasional ripple of water, the night was silent.

“How was your day?” Jake broke the calm silence. The way the blueish water reflected off his skin made you dizzy.

“Good,” You cursed your voice for being so small. You swallowed the lump in your throat. You didn’t know why you felt so nervous. It was your boyfriend, for goodness’s sake!

Jake loved it when you were shy, but sometimes he was genuinely worried about you. Part of why he loved you was the game that was trying to figure out what was going on in that pretty head of yours.

He reached out for you, clutching your knee. "Baby, what's wrong?"

Your stomach churned. For a second, you thought about that video of him admitting that he had a girlfriend. It made your skin crawl, but when your boyfriend squeezed your knee, it all stopped.

"Nothing," you said simply.

There's a few pulses of silence, before Jake clicked his tongue.

"H-Hey—!"

Jake got up from the water, wrapping his hands around your waist, and hoisted you up so that your legs were thrown on either side of the body, before sitting back down so that you were perched right on top of his lap.

Your chest, nearly bare, pressed against his own bare chest in a way that made your heart race. The warmth of his skin as it contacted yours was an addicting feeling, enhanced only by the warm water surrounding you. Either it was the steam from the tub, or the heat collecting between the two of your bodies, that rose to your cheeks.

You rested your hands on his chest, your fingertips barely reaching his broad shoulders, while Jake’s hands stayed in their spot around your waist.

"C'mon," you could feel Jake's warm, strong chest rumble beneath you. "Tell me what's wrong."

Under the sky, his eyes gleamed, like two gems. For the flirt that he was, Jake was too genuine and pure of a person. The sincere worry in his eyes made you feel warm, even warmer than you felt right now. And sometimes that was enough for you.

You leaned into him, your hands coming up to cup his face. You rubbed your thumbs against his cheeks, to which he let his eyelids fall shut, relishing in the comfort that was your presence. Every time your thumb pressed against his lips, he kissed them, unable to hide the smile growing on his lips when you giggled softly.

At the corner of your eye, you spotted the purple hickey you left on him the other day. That combined with his wet hair, the water droplets temptingly running down his chest, and the fact that you were right on top of him made you feel light-headed.

Your hands left his face, and Jake opened his mouth to whine about it, but was shut up when your fingers tangled in his damp hair, pulling him in for a kiss.

It was a soft, innocent kiss, the type you gave when you just wanted to be close to him. Jake hummed against your lips, squeezing your thighs. You pulled away first, but Jake gently guided the back of your head back to his, pecking your lips.

"I just missed you," you said. You kissed his cheek. "I really missed you."

"It's only been a day," Jake teased you, but he knew better than anyone that he had absolutely no right to say that to you: he was practically dying each moment he couldn't see you.

The two of you sat in silence for a moment, staring into each other's eyes. You held onto his strong shoulders, eyes glued to his lips. You were feeling needy, needy in the way that you simply wanted to be close to Jake. You were already close to him, but you wanted to be even closer. Your heart thirsted for it.

Then, you heard a rustle, whipping your head around toward the sound.

"Nuh-uh," Jake whispered in your ear, gently holding your face and guiding it to look at him. "I want you to look at me."

It wasn't until a few seconds later that you understood why Jake's tone sounded so teasing: he was referencing you and him the other day backstage. 

"Stoppp," you whined, pushing your face into his neck. "You're so annoying."

Jake laughed, his chest rumbling. He stopped to admire the way you were all pressed up against him. He could feel every curve of your body, and he could feel the way your cheeks puffed with air, your lips forming a pout. He poked your cheek.

"You're so cute, baby."

"I know."

"What's with you getting so bold?"

"You're annoying me."

"Awww, you love me so—"

Fireworks fired off in the distance, painting the gray-blue sky with bright colors. 

You stayed in your position, only your eyes moving upward to admire the show. However, Jake stayed staring straight at you, practically ignoring the fiery flowers forming in the sky. He gazed into your eyes, watching the reflection in them.

"It's so pretty," you murmur.

"Yeah," Jake felt like he was falling into your eyes, "So pretty."

Just as another round of fireworks shot up into the sky, Jake grabbed your face, crashing his lips onto yours. Your lips fit into each other well, like puzzle pieces, in a way that was so satisfying, almost like you were made for kissing Jake. But for all of the desire and roughness that the kiss was filled with, it was a soft one. 

Jake swiped his tongue over your bottom lip, making you squeal and giving him the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. His hands kneaded your body, roaming all over you with no intention of leaving a single part of your skin untouched. Likewise, you gripped his biceps, digging your nails into his skin to keep yourself grounded.

"Fuck—" Jake mumbled against your lips, only to get cut off by your lips attacking his— "Wait—"

Jake tasted sweet, like candy. He tasted like home, like love, like everything was going to be okay no matter what. How could you pull away now? 

"B-Baby, wait—"

"Stop talking, Jakey," you pulled away briefly, only to bite his lip, pulling on the pink flesh with your teeth. You let your tongue roam his mouth, feeling the warmth as your own hands began to wander his toned chest. 

"Just kiss me," you breathed.

You kept Jake like this for a few more minutes, trapping him in the heaven that was your lips. But when your bikini top began to untie at the back, something that Jake noticed immediately, he ripped away from you.

Something in his eyes had changed.

Quietly, he tied your bikini top back for you, ignoring your confused (and very breathless) gaze.

"If you keep doing what you do to me," he began into your ear, "I don't know if I'll be able to control myself."

With that, Jake threw you over his shoulder as he hoisted himself up to his feet. He grabbed everything that you brought to the rooftop, throwing your towel over you and ignoring you fussing.

"W-Where are we goin—?!"

"Back to my room."

You were in for a night.

You and Jake were going to stay in LA for a little while longer after Vidcon, so you extended your stay in the same hotel rooms.

After last night, Jake and you fell asleep in his bed. 

It was going to be the best, Jake thought. Neither of you had anywhere to be, anyone to put on a show for. The two of you could sleep in for as long as you'd like. It didn't really matter to him, as long as he could wake up with you in his arms, he'd be all right.

Which is why Jake's heart dropped to his stomach when he woke up to you already dressed, pacing around the room nervously.

"Baby?" Jake was alarmed, even as he rubbed his sleepy eyes. "Baby, what happened?"

You whipped your head over to him, your expression pinch and painted with anxiety. 

"Check your phone," you muttered as you chewed your lip.

Jake did as you said. The moment he opened up his phone, his screen was filled with text messages from everyone: his colleagues, his friends, heck even his own mother. He was tagged in about a thousand posts all across his social media accounts, and his Youtube home page was plastered with his face. But not only his face. Your face too.

What caught his eye was an article from a major Internet news source that made its round across every platform.

Its headline?

Jake Sim and [Name] [Last Name] are reported to be dating.

The worst part was the cover page.

It was a photo of you and Jake, together in the hottub last night, with your arms thrown around his neck with your lips connected. When he read more into it, the photo evidence got more and more specific. Close-up pictures of Jake's neck to reveal a hickey and lipstick mark on his shirt, your smudged lipstick, a screenshot of the Sanrio plush in one of his videos, even that clip of his laugh in the background of one of your videos. Of course, the most crucial one was that clip of Jake admitting that he had a girlfriend.

This was what he wanted, wasn't it? For everyone to know about you, to be able to show you off.

Objectively, this was bound to happen.

But as Jake watched you pace around, your hands shaking as you looked like you were about to cry, he didn't feel the pride that he thought he would feel if everyone knew. He didn't feel happy, he didn't feel excited that he got to show you off. All he felt was a mix of guilt and anger.

And before he could reach out to hold your hand and pull you close, you quietly said that you were going to go on a walk, and left the hotel room.

The quiet that filled the hotel room was piercing. Jake stilled in his spot, still groggy and disheveled.

Had he always been like this?

He swore that at the beginning of your relationship, he took every measure to keep it private. Because you asked him to. Because he respected you.

Why did he throw it all away? 

He agreed to keep things private. 

But now he put you in an uncomfortable position and an even more vulnerable position than you'd ever been in before. 

Was he a bad boyfriend? Were you going to break up with him? Would your relationship with him ever be the same? That made Jake's heart palpitate. He couldn't lose you. No, he'd die. But then again, he fucked up, he knew that.

Jake ran a hand through his hair. This was an asshole move.

But he couldn't help feeling his fingers twitch for his phone when it ding'd.

The first thing he saw when he opened up Twitter were tweets at him.

And they were surprisingly... supportive?

"Emo boyfriend, cute girlfriend, the best combo!"

"Sending love to both of you. Hope you're doing well. We support you."

"I'm very pleasantly surprised."

"This is literally like Hello Kitty and Batman meeting this is crazy"

But as he scrolled deeper, he found more obscure comments.

"Feel so bad for [Name]. Her boyfriend is a freak."

"He doesn't deserve her."

And the nail in the coffin:

"No wonder they kept it a secret. I'd hide it too if someone like that was my boyfriend."

Why did you keep your relationship with him secret? Jake knew the answer to that: you just wanted to keep your personal life private.

But as Jake plunged himself deeper and deeper into the hole that was the media, he could only imagine alternative answers, and one stuck out.

Were you ashamed of him? 

Of course you would be.

You were beautiful in every capacity and just the most perfect person in the world. And Jake was just himself. You were always cute, and sometimes, Jake felt like he couldn't keep up with you. You were far out of his league. His content was considered "niche" and "obscure," of course people, maybe even you, considered him a freak.

He was a bastard, and you were a princess. He didn't blame you for being embarrassed about him.

That's why you were so anxious and against your relationship being exposed, right?

No, no, no!

Shut up, shut up, shut up, Jake thought, his hands balling into fists. You wouldn't. He knew you better than anyone, and he knew that you would never be embarrassed about him. You weren't like that, and he was a fool for even thinking of you in that way. He was being insecure and stupid.

But even so, as Jake let all the guilt, shame, anger, and anxiety settle in while he thought of an apology to you, he couldn't help but feel his insecurity seeping in.

You knew that you were overreacting. You shouldn't have left Jake in there all alone, you should have sat down and talked to him about it.

But there was something scary about having everybody's eyes on you at once, scorning you. You were a Youtuber, of course you knew what it felt like to be watched, but to have the entire internet so hellbent about your personal life made you jump into your own skin.

You just took a walk along the early city streets, you reflected upon yourself.

Why did you keep your relationship with Jake secret? 

Part of it was privacy. You didn't want the internet to interfere with your personal life, of course. 

But it wasn't like you wanted to hide your love for your boyfriend forever. It wasn't like you wanted to stow him away somewhere no one could find him. You were both adults, and you had to start living at some point.

You'd be lying if you said that you never thought about making a cute video with him, if you said you never wanted to post a cheesy anniversary picture on Instagram with a long caption just for him, if you said you never wanted the world to know that Jake Sim was yours.

You remembered the first time you and Jake talked about keeping it private. He was unsure, but because he cared so much about you, he agreed. Had you ever stopped to think about how he felt? You may have wanted to keep your relationship quiet, but did he? To a degree, there was something selfish about you, both now and in the past. You wanted to preserve yourself and your feelings, but you never even considered how Jake felt.

You were afraid, you felt vulnerable and too exposed to the world. But you cared far more about Jake than those fleeting emotions. Desire outweighed fear, you had to see him now.

But as you marched back to your hotel, your mind racing as you came up with paragraphs of words that you'd spill to Jake, you began to notice your worst nightmare.

A group of men, each with massive cameras that had even bigger microphones. 

They called themselves the paparazzi, but they were really only middle-aged men that made money off of being invasive towards people half their age.

Maybe you should have worn a hat, or something, as you were in a camera-infested area that was even more infested with celebrities and influencers. As they approached you, you quickened your steps, trying to get as far as you could from them. You tried your best not to make eye-contact, but alas, they got to you before you could escape.

"[Name]?" one of them called out your name, practically running to you.

Oh my god, you thought, ignoring them as you sped up. Please not right now.

"[Name], are you dating Jake Sim?" The sound of your boyfriend's name out of their mouths made your stomach churn. You kept walking, but you could feel them pointing their massive cameras at you, taking any measure to make a buck off of you.

You had a few choices.

You could make a run for it. Though, you had about six men double your age who would probably chase you down.

You could also give in to them, and give very vague answers. That would require a lot of patience, and simply, you wanted to go kiss your boyfriend, not talk to these so-called paparazzis.

Your last option was the one that seemed the most appealing, but could stir the pot of the media even more and it would give the tabloids what they wanted: you could tell them off and shut them down completely. The only issue was that you were the cutesy, sweet, Sanrio Hello Kitty girl. You've talked about adult topics before, but for you to be hostile and mean to another person? That was completely unheard of to anyone on the Internet. It would also be very reactive, and the media could twist that into something more.

But you wanted to get out of there.

You wanted to go see Jake. If you had to throw a few curse words at people if it meant that you could go home to Jake, then you'd use every curse under the sun.

"[Name], everyone is saying that your relationship with Jake Sim is real and not a publicity stunt. Any comment on that-?"

You were getting irritated.

You stopped in your tracks, turning over your shoulder.

"Will you fuck off?" Your gaze hardened on the group of men shoving cameras in your faces. You didn't even bother looking into the lens. "It's 10 in the morning, I don't have time for this."

"We didn't mean to offend you, [Name], we just wanted to know your relationship with Jake Si—"

You huffed to yourself, rolling your eyes. They loved acting polite only to violate your privacy. 

"Cut the bullshit, okay?" you narrowed your eyes. You were only a few meters from the hotel entrance, and they were still stalking you with their massive cameras. How shameless. 

Your anger was bubbling up inside you. It was rising, rising so much that you could feel it attempting to spill out of your mouth.

"You want to make a quick buck off of me so bad?" You stepped through the hotel doorway.

If the media was so curious about your life, and if they wanted to go so far as to try to disrupt your relationship, you wouldn't give them that satisfaction.

Everyone loved seeing what you were doing, everyone loved to watch you. It was your job to put on a show, to give people what they wanted. If you wanted to live, then you'd have to accept that.

You were an influencer, a micro-celebrity. You could make tides move if you wanted to. Why be so fearful of the eyes of so many?

But more than anything, you were a performer. And if that's what they wanted from you, that's what they'll get.

"Fine," you huffed. "I'll give you a story: me and Jake have been together for six years. In fact, we met each other in high school when he was my Physics lab partner. Go investigate that, won't you?"

With that, you slammed the hotel entrance door in their faces.

Jake swore he heard the trumpets of heaven when the hotel room door cracked open, revealing you.

He'd been waiting in front of it for a while now, and he jerked up immediately as he saw your face. He jumped right to his feet, ready to spill every word he thought of on you. You deserved an explanation.

But all you did was raise your hand, silencing him instantly. Instead, you took off your shoes, took his arm, and pulled him with you to the bed. You motioned for him to lay down, and did so yourself.

Jake stared at you like you were insane. Were you not going to yell at him? Why weren't you hitting him or telling him that you wanted to break up with him? Should he be on his knees begging you to stay at this point? But he complied (because of course he did, it was you).

You laid on his chest in silence, pressing your cheek up against him. 

That made his mind wander.

Maybe you were trying to ease him into a hard conversation. Maybe you were going to forget this until later.

He didn't want that. No, you deserved to hear what he had to say. If you were going to leave him, Jake wanted to say everything that he wanted to.

"I'm sorry," Jake blurted. The silence was deafening, before you took a deep breath, turning over onto your stomach so that your chin laid on his chest.

"What for?"

The gentle look in your eye as you looked at him made Jake choke up himself. He had to hold back or he'd start sobbing.

"For going against your wishes a-and..." Jake searched through his mind for all the words he practiced, but nothing came to mind. Not with you looking at him like you still loved him. "And for telling people about our relationship. I—I shouldn't have done that and I'm sorry for disrespecting the promise w-we made.... And... And—"

Jake sucked in a loud, sharp breath. His eyes were getting watery. He took your hands in his, squeezing them. 

"And I know that you're ash—ashamed of me, and I know that y-you won't— you won't want to be with me anymore, but—"

"Wait what?" you interrupted him, squeezing hands back. "I'm not ashamed of you, Jakey."

Jake stared at you.

Jakey.

"I'm not breaking up with you either. What makes you think that?"

The gate that was holding back Jake's emotions broke.

Jake let the tears that he tried so hard to hold back roll down his face. He let out a sob before he clamped a hand over his mouth.

You didn't hate him? You still wanted to be with him?

You instantly threw your leg over his hips, straddling him as you pulled his head to your chest. He melted into your touch, his wet face hiding in the crook of your neck. You pet his hair, pressing kisses to the crown of his head.

"Baby," you whispered into his ear gently. "Why are you crying?"

Jake's crying only got louder, and you couldn't help but giggle. He was a total softie. The way his hold around you tightened told you enough.

Jake sniffled through his words, cutting himself off every now and then with a hiccup and more sobs. "Th-Thought you were gonna l-leave me."

Your fingers stopped in his hair. "Leave you? Why would I?"

Jake pushed his face back into your shoulder, shaking his head.

You let him cry like that for a little while longer, whispering sweet reassurances in his ear as you patted his back. 

And when he was ready, the two of you talked it out, because that's what people did when they loved each other. You exchanged apologies, explained to each other your thought processes, and created an agreement: start anew, and you both didn’t mind that your relationship was now public, and if either of you disagreed, you had to voice it immediately. You ended it with a kiss.

You clicked the camera on, checking in the viewfinder that you were in-frame. You were back at home, the pink Hello Kitty decorations in your room, as well as the scent of strawberries, surrounding you. 

“Hi, everyone!” you smiled brightly, clasping your hands together. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen you all. How are you?”

You chatted about a few updates since Vidcon, telling about your wonderful experience there and how you were so happy to meet all your fans.

“Now, onto the video!”

You peered to the side, where you spotted Jake sitting at the edge of your bed, waiting intently for your cue.

“Oh, Jakey!” you said in a sing-songy voice. “Come out now!”

With that, Jake popped into frame, dorkily saying a quick hi before plopping down onto the chair beside you.

“Today, I will be doing my boyfriend’s makeup!” you chirped happily. “Are you ready, boyfriend?”

The two of you shared a grin.

“Of course, girlfriend.”

[adventuringblind]

I See Your Beauty

Charles Leclerc x Verstappen!reader

Genre: a little angst mixed with fluff and comfort

Summary: the youngest Verstappen is forced to do life without her vision. Thinking she might not be able fully experience her life due to the remarks of her father, she concedes that finding love is unlikely. Until she runs into Charles who helps her believe she doesn’t need her eyesight to be loved.

Warnings: Jos is his own warning now. Talks of disability and reader having an accident. Talks and depictions of verbal and physical abuse.

Request: nope this is self-indulgent. However, I am taking requests for Max, Charles, Lando, Oscar, and Daniel.

Notes: written in third person. Also, this fic deals with disabilities, particularly blindness. I myself am blind though I still have some vision left, which is mainly what I’m basing this off of. Please remember that blindness is a spectrum like many other disabilities. It is defined really by a loss of vision that can’t be corrected. I’m open to answering questions about it if y’all have any. My inbox and asks are always open :)

Masterlist

The youngest of the Verstappen’s very close with her brother, Max. The two are barely a year apart so it makes sense. Though they get in each others nerves often as well. Victoria doing her best as the oldest to settle arguments between the two.

Jos decided that two children in racing gives him better odd then just one. Electing to have both start karting at an early age.

They liked racing together. Getting used to being each others rocks when their father was harsher then necessary. It became routine for the two to defend each other.

Then everything changed.

The two were moving up through the ranks. Competing harder then ever to make your dad proud.

The accident wasn’t her fault. A consequence of her father from trying to build a faster car and not having test run it.

The engine exploded during the race. Every one of her senses ranged useless as she tried to react.

Ears ringing.

Smoke from the fire burning in her nose.

Blood from whatever hitting her knocking her teeth into her lip.

Heat nipping at her skin.

Lack of sight making her steering erratic.

Max had immediately rushed to aid his sister. Their father only staring in disappointment. He became resentful of his father that day.

The ambulance arrived and took you away. Max begged to go with but Jos ignored his request, telling him he needed help cleaning up his youngest daughter mess.

After hours the finally arrived back home. The other two Verstappen’s confused why the youngest was nowhere to be found. Max finally broke down in tears, much to his father dislike, and clutched Victoria for comfort. Telling her everything that had happened.

While three of them went to the hospital to find you, the fourth sat wallowing in disgrace at the display from his children today. He couldn’t admit he’d made a mistake. One that might have cost him a child.

Meanwhile the youngest was out of surgery. Continually crying for her family. The nurses had tried to reach her father who had given the medics his cell number, but they had yet to hear from him.

When her family arrived she tried her best to make out their faces. The sparks from the engine had been so bright that they burned her retinas. The combination of the fire doing permanent damage. The impact of the engine had knocked her helmet almost all the way off and she instinctively pushed it away to try and see again. The protection of the visor gone.

The three siblings cuddled together in her hospital bed. The youngest not fully comprehending why she couldn’t see. The lights were too bright. She was squinting to make out the small details.

Things didn’t improve after that. Jos became angry towards her. Constantly reminding the girl of what happened, what she did wrong, and how if she hadn’t messed up she might have been successful.

Regardless, she listened to him berate her at everyone of Max’s races. He stopped commenting about Max when she was within earshot. Mostly because she told him off every time he insulted her brother. Jos already deemed her the disappointment of the family, standing up for Max couldn’t possibly make things worse.

Max had also gotten more protective of his sister. Having been the one to pull her away from the wreckage and cleaning up the damage made him realize he didn’t want you to get hurt again.

He made it to every doctors appointment he could. He attended as much physical therapy as you would let him. He even put on a blind fold so he could understand a bit better. He helped her learn cane skills and how to guide you himself. All in an effort to help his sister feel less alone.

He was aware she still had some eyesight lift. Mostly cloudy and bright patches dotted her eyes making it difficult to make out where things are and any specific details. She liked seeing what she could of her siblings faces though.

Max determined he was going to bring you to every race with him. The Verstappen losing all ability to drive now making things harder for her and she didn’t want to stay with her father.

Victoria had a room for her in her house and let her stay when she needed. Max always made sure there was a room for her if she wanted to travel with him. She loved how willing her sibling were to help her out. However, it left her feeling useless and vulnerable at times.

Eventually, Max helped get her a job with Redbull as a strategist. She enjoyed playing with the different data. Listening became a more essential job then seeing.

Race days were spent in the garage unnoticed in the back. Hopefully out of view of the cameras and away from her father. They saw each other often, much to her dismay. He always had something to say to her when Max wasn’t around.

It was during her downtime that she met Charles.

~

Deciding her cane was unnecessary since she knew her way around the paddock and the ground is relatively flat, she went to hunt down her brother.

Neither party was paying attention leading to them running straight into each other. She could vaguely make out the Ferrari red race suit standing in front of her. “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.” Came the voice of Charles Leclerc. Though the two had never formally met, she had heard during interviews enough to know his voice.

“It’s alright, neither was I.” She smiled at the Monegasque. “Have you seen Max anywhere?”

He chuckles. “Unfortunately no. Are you his girlfriend?”

The question makes her laugh hysterically. “I’m his sister.” She can hear him sigh in relief at the clarification.

“That’s better at least because I wanted to say that you are very beautiful.” The playfulness in his voice doesn’t go unnoticed. Completely taking her off guard. Sure she’d gotten complements, but not often enough to make her used to them. The words of Jos not letting her believe them anyway. “Would it be alright if I give you my number?”

She lost all words in that moment. This had never happened before. “Sure-” she manages to stutter out before handing him her phone. The screen reading out things to her so she could get to her intended destination.

“I’ve never see a phone do that before.” Charles takes the phone from her and starts to put in his information.

She mentally face palms herself. Obviously he hasn’t realized she’s blind. “Actually I don’t have much of my eyesight.” She play with the bottom of her shirt. Her father having instilled in her that her blindness is something to be ashamed of.

“Wait- so you are blind? That is very interesting, I would like to know more if you’re okay with it.” The curiosity in his voice rising.

She wasn’t prepared for this. Nobody asks her questions about her condition. Even Christian doesn’t touch the subject and she never brings it up in conversation. “I guess, if your really interested.”

“Great, I’ll see you later tonight. Send me the address of where you’re staying.” His playful and flirty manner never faulted as he walked past her. Leaving the girl confused and blushing.

Little did she know that Charles had seen her around the paddock. Mostly hanging off of Max’s arm. He assumed she’d never notice him wave or try to get her attention. Turns out she couldn’t see him. He knows better then to assume. He blames it on the anxiety of being around her.

The youngest Verstappen finished up her duties as quick as possible. Catching a ride with her brother back to the hotel. He has learned to read her though and immediately noticed something was different. “What’s going on with you? You seem very smiley today.” He laughs.

“I can’t tell you because you’ll hate me.” She did her best not to appear nervous but was ultimately failing. Her hands fiddling in her lap.

“I could never hate you.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

She glances over at him. Eyes planted on the road. His calm demeanor putting her at ease. “Charles Leclerc asked me on a date tonight.”

Max begins laughing hysterically. His once smooth driving now a bit jerky from his sudden movements. “You thought I would hate you because of a date?”

She stutters a bit. “Well- aren’t you two rivals?” She manages. His laughing throwing her emotions all over the place.

“Sure, on the track. Off the track we are still friends and I trust him.” He explains. Relief floods through her body at his words. Her confidence in the situation going up a little.

She can feel the smug look on Max’s face. “Do you want help getting ready?”

~

The two siblings spent over an hour playing dress up. Max eventually having to video call Victoria and ask her opinion. The two trying to make their sister feel like she owns the world.

Dressing is less tricky then make-up. Sometimes she didn’t feel like it was worth the struggle and didn’t put it on. Some day she had to call Victoria to make sure everything looked right. If there was good lighting she was typically fine, but tonight was not one of those nights.

Growing up between two sisters, Max had learned a decent amount about make-up. He even enjoyed getting to do it on his sisters if they would let him. The almost squeal he let our when his sister asked for help was both hilarious and ridiculous. Immediately setting things up on the bathroom counter and going to work.

Max could tell his sister was anxious. Their father having scared away any of your potential boyfriends. Even going as far as to tell they that she is diseased. One of the worst things about having Jos around the garage, is that you’re left with him.

Though Max has stepped in many time and even lectured his father about his word choices, he never let up on any of the Verstappen children. All of them getting some aspect of their father’s insecurity thrown back at them like it’s their fault.

When he was done, Max tried to sooth your nerves. “Dad isn’t around. He’s in his own hotel room. Go have fun.”

And that’s exactly what she did.

The conversation between her and Charles flowed. He asked questions that weren’t invasive and was respectful if she didn’t want to answer. He made her laugh ridiculously hard.

So they kept doing it. She had to follow Redbull for work which made things easier in the two. Finding down time to meet up or celebrating together after races.

After the season was over, the two went on a holiday together.

Charles spent a good amount of time learning from her (and in turn Max) how to guide if the need ever arose.

Charles was so gentle with her. Always letting her know if there was something unexpected around. Telling her who was in the room.

If felt like a dream. One she never wanted to wake up from. Charles had assured her multiple times that she wasn’t dreaming and that their love is very real.

But alas, Jos likes to make things difficult.

~

A few races into the new season, Charles still had yet to formally meet Jos and the Verstappen siblings intended on keeping it that way. It wasn’t secret. Everyone in the paddock know the two were dating. Jos just hadn’t had the chance to talk to him yet.

She’d mentioned her childhood a few times but could never get out the full extent of what happened. Charles thankfully is patient with her and lets her take her time. He knows Jos’ reputation. Her childhood couldn’t have been the most amazing with him around.

This particular race, she was forced into close proximity with him. There had been a mistake during a pit stop for Max which made him lose some positions. Ending the race in fifth. To her it isn’t bad at all, but to the angry Dutchman unleashing his fury on everything, it most certainly is.

Sensing his rising anger, she had pulled her father into a more secluded area. Hoping that Max wouldn’t come back to the garage for awhile. At least not before she could talk some sense into their father.

She said nothing as strings of curse words left his lips. Only waiting for him to run out of breath.

“Did you see how he got lazy? He would’ve finished higher after the idiots didn’t do their jobs if he had put in more effort.”

“Max put in all his effort and you know it.” She scoffs. Arms folded over her chest. This is nothing new to her.

“Like you have any room to talk.” He snaps back. Her head now sagging, knowing his anger is now finding a new direction.

Charles, on the other hand, had been looking for her. It’s his first win of the season and she is nowhere to be found. Max ran up to him as the podium celebration ended. Patting him on the back for his well earned win.

“Have you seen your sister anywhere, mate?” He asked the Dutch.

Max ponders for a moment. “She might still be in the garage debriefing after what happened.” He replies. “I can walk you over if you want.”

The two drivers made their way to the Redbull garage to find most of those who would normally be inside, standing outside in a huddle. “What the hell is happening?” Max shouts over to Christian as the two approach him.

“I was just about to go find you.” Christian sighs in exasperation. “Can I call security on your father? He hasn’t stopped shouting since the race finished up.”

Charles and Max exchanged glances. The young woman’s absence now making more sense. “I’ll try and talk him down.” Stated Max before weaving his way through the sea of Redbull shirts. Charles following close behind.

Before the two could get further away, Christian yelled out to them. “Good luck, your sister has been trying!” The statement make the two move faster.

Charles could feel his emotions bubbling as the shouting got louder. As him and Max turn the corner, he immediately spots who he’d been looking for. Tears rolling down her cheeks as she felt around the floor looking for something.

Max steps in between her and the angry Dutch, shouting back and forth in their native tongue. Charles tries to spot what she’s feeling for. Scanning the ground until he spots her phone. The entire thing shattered. Small pieces of glass just barely reflecting the light. He’s down by her side in an instant.

“Love, it’s Charles, max is here also, I’m going to get you out of here okay?”

Her body turns towards Charles. It’s then he notices the specks of blood dotting her hands from feeling around the glass and a deep purple bruise forming on her forehead.

She’s struggling to breath now. Listening to the angry shouts. The pain in her head and the bright fluorescents not helping her see anything. She back in the crash.

Her father had spend from the end of the race until now laying into her. She had successfully defended Max and thought she was prepared to take the brunt of it. Until he snatch her phone and threw it at her. It hit her head so hard she was in the ground in seconds. Trying to feel her way around to where it might have gone so she could call Max.

The words were so familiar to her. The ones she heard in her nightmares when she was once again surrounded by smoke and bright lights stealing away her vision.

“I don’t want to crash again Charles. It’s to hot. It hurts too much. I can’t see anything.” She tried to search for him but ended up with more glass in her palm. The tears only thickening.

“Stay put, okay? I’m going to help Max and then I’ll be right back.” He didn’t want to leave her on the floor. She looked like a child, and so did Max in this moment. The two getting their fathers wrath with no end in sight.

Charles sprints back to Christian, yelling at him to call security, then sprints back to Max.

“Mr. Verstappen I think you are out of line here.” Says the monegasque. Signaling Max to stay with you. He didn’t move at first but it was obvious he was getting nowhere, so he obliged. Kneeling down to help his sister calm her breathing.

Jos scoffs at Charles. “You have no right to get in between me and my children.” Anger pooling from his features.

“I mean no disrespect sir, but you’re being an asshole.”

“And is she-“ he jabs his finger at the girl on the floor, “-not disgusting.” Charles almost hits him but refrains from doing so knowing security will be arriving soon.

“On the contrary, I think she is an angel.”

“She’s diseased. She hasn’t even tried to fix her mistakes. Look at her! She just wants attention for what she did to herself!”

Now Charles doesn’t hesitate to punch him. His fist colliding with Jos’ jaw, sending him stumbling into the wall.

Max took his attention off his sister, who was leaning against him, and placed it on Charles. Shock clearly evident of his features.

Jos attempted to confront Charles again, but security finally showed up and escorted Jos out of the paddock.

Charles exhales, glad the confrontation is over. “That’s not how I imagined meeting your father for the first time.” Charles chuckles nervously.

Is doesn’t take much longer until Charles has his love safely wrapped in his arms. Whisking her away to his hotel room. Max had stayed ti make sure everything got cleaned up at the paddock. Kelly arriving shortly with Penelope in tow, ready to comfort Max.

She cried when they were finally safe inside. Pouring out to Charles about the accident and what it had caused in her life. He listened intently, doing his best to soothe the girl. Her panic still clearly evident.

Soon enough she’d calmed. Her head laying in Charles lap while he threaded his fingers through her hair.

“It don’t care what anyone else says. I see your beauty and it is not defined by what you can’t see.”

[vidavalor]

Hi! Hope you're having a nice day! So, I love your metas, however, I confess the, idk tecnicalities? logistics? of a twist that they've been together the whole time still puzzle me. What would the narrative purpose of such a reveal be? Why and how would it be put into the story? I guess what I'm saying is I'd really, really like you to be correct but I'm sadly still skeptical that it could actually happen :(

Hi! Thanks for the ask. Hope you're having a nice day yourself. :) I'll give you a cheeky answer and then a real one, if you don't mind. @procrastiel also asked me to talk more about "no nightingales" and it fit into the second half of my answer here so this is kind of a combination ask response to both of you.

This gif below this paragraph here? Yeah, this is *not* the scene from 1.01 that, when decoded from their language, says they're having sex. I am not being sarcastic-- it is *not* this scene. This scene is in that meta (which is being edited, so, soon) because how could it not be, really, but *this scene* is *not* that scene lol and, yet, some people still find the idea of them sleeping together surprising:

Anon, this is, like, the third, joint Crowley & Aziraphale scene in Episode 1.01 and that is consensual, mutually beneficial, kink. One that both has a sense of humor and puts a smile on your face, as Mrs. Sandwich would put it.

Let's thought experiment a bit here. Let's say this is the extent of it. It absolutely is not lol but, for the experiment, let's say it is. Let's say that they've never taken each other to bed, they've never lent each other a hand, so to speak, they've never anything else you're thinking of right now-- nothing. The most significant physical contact they will have ever had pre-2.06 in this thought experiment is holding hands on the bus on the way back from Tadfield which, as we all know, isn't a sexual thing. Anyone can hold hands and it was a long week, but let's say that's it. They would then *still* have a sexual element to their relationship and the show gave you that information in 1.01. What is happening in this scene is a form of sex. It's already in the show that they are having sex. Yeah, they're having more and different sex than this and yeah, there is evidence of it and yeah, meta finished soon, but honestly... there is actually *a lot* of suggestion of Crowley & Aziraphale sleeping together. For now, we'll just talk about this scene here...

Crowley liking to watch is such a thing that it's now a recurring joke on the show. You don't think that "can I watchhhhh" while he follows Aziraphale around the neighborhood in S2 wasn't Crowley self-deprecatingly poking fun at the fact that he's got a bit of a voyeuristic thing happening? "Can I slither over and watch you eat cake?" in Good Omens: Lockdown?... Anon. Girl.

Crowley isn't just scientifically intrigued by Aziraphale eating lunch. He's not just super happy that his pal is having a very delicious meal. He is very, very, very sexually into watching Aziraphale eat...which is to say that he's into watching Aziraphale allow himself to experience pleasure, in the face of the repression of the Heaven mentality... and Aziraphale isn't just indulging this in a one-sided way where, for whatever reason, he lets his best friend of 6,000 years get turned on watching him have lunch but they don't talk about it or something and Aziraphale lets it go because he's got no one else to talk to lol. Aziraphale is equally into this. It's easy to see why and the more the show tells you about Aziraphale, the easier it is.

Aziraphale, into Crowley watching him? Aziraphale, who painted every damn room in his house the color of Crowley's pretty, Va-Va-Voom Yellow eyes? Aziraphale, who has scene after scene after scene after scene of looking irritated and jealous at literally anything else Crowley is ever looking at and calls beautiful? lol That angel is into the undivided attention of the Serpent of Eden, ok?

Crowley made the stars in the sky. He's a creator and an innovator and an engineer and an artist. He's been on Earth since the start and has seen basically everything beautiful humanity has ever made. He drives one of the finest examples of human ingenuity-- his beautiful Bentley. He's seen The Pyramids and watched Da Vinci paint The Mona Lisa and saw first-run Shakespeare performed at The Globe. He has an eye for art and beauty... and he's the original temptress. It was Crowley who tempted Eve into eating the apple and when Eve ate that apple and discovered the pleasures of food, she and Adam created that whole Biblical fruits of knowledge metaphor by getting up to some other forms of pleasure soon after, so, Crowley is basically responsible for free thought and pleasure throughout all of human history since the Garden of Eden... and what drives him out of his mind with want is Aziraphale enjoying himself.

I mean, enjoying his food. Totally just his food. Only his food, Anon. *slight smirk*

Aziraphale is absolutely into that. Crowley likes to watch and Aziraphale likes being watched in that way. Crowley looking at him like he's more beautiful than nebulae and statues of Gabriel is attention that is absolutely welcome by Aziraphale. Two of his favorite things at once-- a luxurious, scrumptious lunch and a turned on Crowley. Aziraphale's ideal day lol. That angel is watching Crowley watch him and loving every minute of it. It's as delicious as his actual lunch. Look at that little glance over at him. C'mon lol.

They do this from time to time. What do you think the results are? What would happen if you kinky-lunched with your best friend and how low are the odds that this is the only sexual thing the two of you have managed to get up to in the 6,000 years you've been on Earth? When one of you is a raging hedonist and the other likes to take beautiful things apart to see how they work?

This scene and its character knowledge is dropped into the middle of the first episode of the show with zero context and 10/10 no notes that was the single most hilarious way this extremely funny show could have ever chosen to do this but this is something the show chose to not only tell us about but to then provide context for in 2.02.

They gave kinky lunch an origin story, Anon lol. They were like also, you should probably know about Bildad at the ox rib special... you see, that hot lunch from 2008 actually started in *2,500 B.C.* when Crowley offered Aziraphale some barbecue and Aziraphale, who had never eaten before, ate an entire ox while Crowley lounged in the corner with a jug of wine and fantasized about being Aziraphale's dinner and before you yell at me, Anon, for sexualizing barbecue when really, sometimes, one just loves a good cookout, I agree with you.

Enjoying food does not have to be a sexual experience. I mean, I've had some pasta that could have given me an orgasm but... what makes ox rib cellar night sexual isn't how much Aziraphale is like omg food is delicious, I eat now, maybe forever, this is amazing. It's how he *looks an aroused Crowley dead in the eye while fully aware of how into watching him Crowley is and then goes back to enjoying his barbecue.*

The next day, he's cracking Crowley up by using the ox ribs in their whole plot to save the kids by having that be what Sitis pulls out of Job's ribs. Gabriel and the angels think sex is rib removal so Crowley and Aziraphale are jointly, from across a room, like the previous night coordinating a kind of pseudo-sex to fool the angels and Aziraphale puts the ox ribs into the pseudo-sex, joking with Crowley about their own sex-that's-not-exactly-traditional-sex-but-was-way-more-sex-than-this from the night before. He winks at Crowley and gives him two thumbs up when he sets up the ox rib bit of it and Bildad was like do not laugh in front of the angels do not laugh in front of the angels...

It was absolutely an intentional joke on Aziraphale's part, poking light fun at their night of figuring out that they have a pair of wildly compatible, mutually arousing kinks that can bring them some fun and showing they have a sense of humor about themselves-- something that is on display a lot, actually.

They're very aware of this and very funny about it and it has been going on since 2,500 B.C., Anon. S2 was just like Bildad at the ox rib special was the first time they had a form of sex, fyi, so yeah, that's why I would not be surprised if S3 has some flashback where they're semi-dressed in Aziraphale's bedroom or something and the implication is that they also have sex that doesn't involve food. The show is also already saying that they do and other scenes already suggest it but we'll save that for the main meta on this topic.

Ok, so my less cheeky, more technical answer :)

To be clear about what I'm saying here so we're on the same page about what S3 could potentially maybe bring... I'm not saying that there's a 25 minute long minisode that's nothing but them getting busy. It would likely be a bit more subtle than that. I say that and then also they did drop food kink into 1.01 and had that hilarious Newt & Anathema scene in S1 so who knows lol but basically, I think there's a flashback in S3 somewhere that is a little more direct about the fact that they've been sleeping together and for a long time. It doesn't need to be anything wild. It doesn't even need to be anything but suggestive of it. A friend of mine thinks it's my The Blitz, Part 3 theory but that they're in bed when Greta gets into the bookshop. All I know is that it's suspicious to me that the only room in the bookshop they haven't really shown us so far is Aziraphale's bedroom. Probably because there's at least some subtle evidence of Crowley in it and they're dragging that out a bit. The one thing I do think though for sure is that we get the vavoom-y first kiss and it being a bonkers amount of time ago, to re-contextualize basically all of their scenes that come after it, which will wind up being most scenes. I don't presume to be correct about details about stuff we haven't seen as I would not dream that I could predict the how, just maybe that I've got the overall vibes right at this point. I won't place any bets about how they'd work in a more direct implication of sex. I might on The Vavoom, though. I've got a solid feeling about that.

For the record, I wouldn't really consider them in bed a twist (as you might have gotten from the tone of this meta lol) but I can see how some people would. If your skepticism is coming at all, even in part, from a place of something like this just not frequently done on tv, I'd say, well, you might have also thought they weren't going to kiss, either, and *gestures in the general direction of Every and doesn't gif it because we've all been through enough* lol. The show is very, very queer-friendly and has a showrunner and actors who seem game enough so none of that is really an impediment to this.

Good Omens is telling its story out of chronological order, for the most part, for what amount to two main reasons: because it lends additional meaning to its themes and because it's fun as hell. The narrative purpose of adding additional context to Crowley & Aziraphale's relationship is to add to your understanding of it because your understanding of it is one of the main ways the show is conveying a lot of its themes. They are the story so adding context to the story to drive meaning is never is not without narrative purpose. By telling the story out of sequence, you wind up engaging your audience to focus more on what you're saying in every scene because you've taught them to look for the layers you're building.

Good Omens told you "no nightingales"-- had Crowley use nightingales and confirm that it's a word in his and Aziraphale's language-- in the same scene in which they showed you them kissing for the first time (and, for them, the worst time lol) to help bury the lede that this other scene earlier in the season is actually telling you about their first kiss. (By setting this up, they now have to show you it, suggesting it's in S3.) The other scene is obviously Crowley taking advantage of the fact that Aziraphale just asked him to play Cupid (and called Crowley romantic in doing so, btw-- "I don't think she [Maggie] knows how to conduct a courtship" implying that Aziraphale feels that Crowley does and that's why Aziraphale has run to his very romantic partner for help). Aziraphale is asking him to help the shop lesbians fall in love and Crowley uses the moment to demonstrate that romantic side by describing back to Aziraphale their first kiss as, to him, the epitome of romance:

Good Omens intentionally shows you stuff and then gives you more context that helps you understand it later. It spent two seasons getting you to know more about nightingales than Sir David Attenborough for the express purpose of eventually answering your question in 2.06. The question: do all these references to these romantic birds really mean that Crowley & Aziraphale are aware of them and the nightingales mean something to them or are the nightingales just a metaphor for them?

And even if a part of you was still going awfully interesting choice of metaphor since this is all romantic as all hell the whole time, you're still not sure until 2.06 if it's symbolism and metaphor and if the show is ever going to weave it totally into Crowley & Aziraphale directly, even if a few clues seem to suggest that they have been doing so all along. Like that "A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square" is playing on the piano at The Ritz in S1 (implying one of them either asked or magically influenced the pianist to play it, implying that it's their song/a song with meaning to them/their parallel to Ineffable Bureaucracy's "Everyday", as we'd say after S2.) Most significantly, that Aziraphale in 1967 seems to be referencing it in a coded way when he tells Crowley that maybe, one day, in the future, they could dine at the Ritz, in a scene that's almost impossible to read as anything but a discussion about their relationship.

Cut to 2.06 when Crowley busts this out:

The show is now like remember when we taught you that nightingales are symbolic of romance? Well, we had to so that you'd understand that here is nightingales being used by Crowley as the shorthand word in their language for their romance. We taught you that dining at the Ritz is the act of trying to live live a little more openly with that romance, as well as meaning to literally dine at the Ritz, and that it's a reference to the lyric in "A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square." Here's Crowley talking about it. Here's him using the word nightingales in a coded way and Aziraphale understanding him. Here's confirmation of this word existing between them as the word they use when talking about this romance of theirs long before this scene in 2.06 takes place. Here's confirmation that they are in a romantic relationship with one another. Crowley using "nightingales" and Aziraphale understanding him means that it means their romantic relationship in their language... which means they have a word for their romantic relationship in their language... which is to say that they have a romantic relationship.

People do have romantic relationships without having kissed one another before or without having sex but do beings who kinky lunch? Probably not. No nightingales recontextualizes the kiss in its same scene for us the way that Crowley lifting the magic for a moment as he walked away in Job's courtyard recontextualized what had happened earlier in that scene for Aziraphale. When Crowley got Aziraphale to see the crows were the key, Aziraphale understood what had just happened in the scene. When, in 2.06, Crowley says no nightingales, it's for us, this time. Not Aziraphale. He already knows how to speak their language. Even if it's the first time *you've* seen them kiss, no nightingales exists to show you that it's not the first time they ever have.

You don't have a word in a secret language unless you need it. You don't talk about a romantic relationship with one another that you don't have. Crowley pointing to Heaven the way he did when he had Muriel arrest him and saying no nightingales is Crowley saying their romantic relationship, at that moment, felt incompatible with Aziraphale going to Heaven. Heaven means no nightingales-- no romance. He doesn't know how they can continue *the romantic relationship that they already have* if Aziraphale is leaving.

2.06 is not their first kiss; it is probably the worst kiss they've ever had and they've had thousands. It was desperation in the failure of surface communication and double speak alike both seeming to fail them in the moment. Aziraphale touches his mouth with a shaking hand after Crowley leaves and thinks about how he wants him to come back and do it again because imagine loving your soulmate for six millennia and it's going to end with that kiss. This is not a show that's going to permanently break your heart here. Everyone basically already knows how it ends and it's sweet. It's called Good Omens. You really think a show like this is going to make these two adorable supernatural dorks that are its protagonists have had a depressing first kiss? Especially when they're already hinting at how they're going to reveal in S3 that it was really the complete opposite of one? And that it was a really, really long time ago...

If you look back on the nightingales references prior to this, right, you realize that this word has existed in their vocabulary for a long time. "A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square" was playing on the piano at the end of S1 so nightingales was already in their vocabulary then. They were already involved romantically in S1. The scene as they agree to go to lunch ahead of the end of S1 has Aziraphale saying that they should go to The Ritz and when we get in there and see them at lunch, we realize we've already been here with them in the first episode and that the show chose to only tell us in the season 1 finale. They tell you things and then add in context to give them additional layers of meaning later.

They dined at The Ritz in 2008 for the first time in 1.01, doing what Aziraphale had suggested in 1.03, so there are nightingales in the beginning, middle and end of S1 pretty directly. Aziraphale having suggested this in 1967 means that nightingales already meant romance to them then. It's *why* Aziraphale uses dining at the Ritz to describe having that more open romance as something he would like-- literally and metaphorically. It comes from the song, which was first performed in 1940. It suggests that the references to this song for them probably tie to The Blitz in 1941, which we almost certainly have a Part 3 to coming in S3. It would be a safe bet "A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square" is in it somewhere. Whatever happens then will also wind up re-contextualizing the "no nightingales" moment and adding additional meaning to it that we don't yet know but we know enough already to understand that nightingales = romance.

But when Crowley says no nightingales in 2.06, he frames it by asking Aziraphale to stop and listen, in a reference to the formation of their secret language in the Job courtyard. In a reference to those other birds-- crows-- that hid the goats and formed the basis of Crowley's name. Nightingales and dining at the Ritz might have existed for them since WW2 as words but there were other words that pre-date it and by framing the nightingales comment in such a way as to also reference Job, it's a reminder of how their romance isn't new. It's thousands of years old. The crows were nightingales, long before they ever admitted it, let alone got a song.

World's hottest, most romantic buddy comedy, I tell ya...

[widowsistersandfriends]

Ice Breaker

Requests: hello! firstly i love your fics so tysm for writing :)) may i pls request an emo wanda x reader fic where wanda is shy and new, and they both have a crush on each other. reader somehow finds out wanda is ticklish but hates it, they have a massive tickle fight that ends in them both admitting their feelings? super cute + fluffy, thanks!!

+

Wanda x reader where one is oblivious but crushing and the other is an anxious mess but crushing also and Nat and Yelena maybe help them realize their feelings through mischievous tickle pranks to get them either to confess or break them out of their shells? Lots of leeway...pun intended

Note: Thank you so much for these requests! I apologize for taking so long to get to them, but I decided to combine these two because they were similar! I appreciate your support and hope you enjoy this fic :) I also apologize if I didn't represent Emos correctly 😅 feel free to correct me if I did not portray them well!

Warnings: There is romance and flirting between Wanda and the reader, but not steamy stuff or kissing. Mostly just playful flirting/banter plus tickling

Word Count: 1522

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Wanda was new to the compound, shy yet eager to get to know people. Her long, dark hair contrasted strongly with her paler skin. The thick, dark makeup around her eyes told you that she was no stranger to perfecting her looks. Her aura was so strong and you couldn’t help but sneak peeks at her every so often.

One afternoon, you were sitting in the living room with Wanda, Natasha, and Yelena. The two sisters were trying to help you guys get better acquainted at the compound with your team of superheroes. 

“Let’s play an icebreaker game!” Yelena suggested excitedly.

“What did you have in mind?” You asked.

The blonde pondered for a moment before raising an eyebrow mischievously. 

“How about we play truth or dare?” She suggested.

“Is this just an excuse for us to spill our secrets?” Natasha asked skeptically.

“Duh, why do you think I’m here,” Yelena commented sarcastically, earning her a pinch to the ribs.

“You okay with that Wanda?” You asked, daring to look up and make eye contact with her. 

She met your eyes with a soft smile forming on her face, giving you a small nod. You felt your heart skip a beat, noticing that she was wearing a tight black leather jacket. You bit your lip softly and shook away the nerves.

“Are we all ready to begin?” Natasha asked. You guys then all formed a circle to reach the stack of cards in the middle. 

Each one of you took turns, drawing cards for different players to complete the dare or spill the truth. The next card you drew was for Yelena, which was a truth asking when was the last time she wet her pants. 

The blonde huffed in annoyance, not wanting to answer the question. 

“I refuse to answer,” the blonde said defiantly. 

“What’s the rule about skipping a turn?” You asked Natasha curiously.

“Well, there’s not really a formal rule, but I can definitely make one,” Natasha said slyly.

“Oh no, don’t you dare!” Yelena shouted, as Natasha began to tickle her sister to pieces.

“NATAHAHASHA! STAHAHAHAHAP IHIHI CAHAHANT,” Yelena cried, wiggling away from her sister.

“This is what you get for skipping the question,” Natasha teased, following her sister everywhere she went, getting her sides, ribs, and stomach.

You and Wanda were both too shy to join in, so you guys stayed back and just watched in amusement as Yelena screamed for you guys to help her.

“There’s no way I’m getting involved in that,” Wanda commented quietly, as you smiled in agreement. However, that statement made you begin to wonder. Was Wanda ticklish? You were too shy and embarrassed to ask, let alone say the word. You felt anxious inside, knowing that this was a great opportunity to sneak that question in. However, you worried it would make things awkward and she may feel you were disrespecting her boundaries. 

You opened your mouth, ready to ask the question, but snapped it shut out of fear. Wanda turned towards you, a small smile playing on her lips.

“Something on your mind?” Wanda asked.

Her tone of voice and eye contact made you blush, as you quickly looked away in embarrassment. 

“Um, no I’m okay,” you blurted out quickly.

“You sure nothing is bothering you?” Wanda asked, but her tone was in a teasing way, and you knew you had been caught.

“I promise, I’m fine,” you insisted. 

Natasha was finally done wrecking her sister, as Yelena scolded you and Wanda for not saving her.

Next, it was time for Natasha to draw a card for you. It was blank, which meant she could think of a truth or dare for you.

“Hmm, let’s see. How about, is there anyone you have a crush on in this room?” Natasha asked, knowing damn well you did.

You narrowed your eyes at her, not knowing if you should just take the punishment and not answer. 

“Oooooh, this is a good one!” Wanda chimed in, inching closer to you as your face warmed up yet again.

“Ummm, no, I don’t,” you lied, hoping they would believe you.

“You sure about that?” Wanda asked, quickly reaching out to gently claw your side, causing you to yelp and cover your mouth.

“I think we’ve got a liarrrr,” Yelena teased, quickly pouncing on your legs and tickling your feet.

“GAHAHAHAH YELELEHEHENA PLEHEHEHEASE,” you begged, knowing that she was gonna get full revenge for you not helping her earlier.

“Need some help?” Natasha asked Wanda, as the redhead pinned your arms above your head, as Wanda sat on your waist. You were pinned and had nowhere to go.

Your eyes widened and your cheeks burst into red flames as Wanda sat dominatingly above you, staring down at you like you were her next prey.

She raised an eyebrow at you, throwing in a smirk which made you want to scream in embarrassment. You also forgot she could read your mind.

“Oh don’t worry, I won’t make you scream in embarrassment. I’m gonna make you scream with laughter, “ Wanda reassured you teasingly.

“No! Please!” You cried, as she wiggled her black nails right above your armpits. You giggled and squirmed in anticipation despite her not even touching you yet. 

“So sensitive,” Natasha teased, laughing at your state. Wanda then began to scratch her sharp nails on your armpits, combined with the foot tickling from Yelena made you shout with laughter, wiggling as much as you could.

“NAHAHA STAHAHAHAP IHIHIT TIHIHICKLES,” you cried out, as Wanda used her thumbs to knead the area between your ribs and armpits. You wheezed with laughter, accepting your defeat to the tickling. There was nothing you could do but laugh.

“You gonna tell us who your crush is?” Wanda asked with a wink.

“NEHEHEVER!” You cried out, secretly enjoying being tickled by her.

She moved her hands down slightly to claw and dig into your ribs with her nails, as you arched your back and squealed with laughter. 

“Good spot,” Natasha noted.

Yelena had now started tickling the tops of your feet, a spot you couldn’t stand, as you shook your head back and forth, knowing you were about to break.

“Ooooh try her belly button,” Natasha suggested, as an evil grin spread on Wanda’s face.

“NO PLEASE! ANYWHERE BUT THEHEHEHERE!” You screamed, bucking upwards as her finger touched your belly button, as you were unable to move or escape. The torturous sensation lingered despite you trying to suck your stomach in. You tapped out, knowing they had gotten to your weak spot.

“IHIHI GIHIHIVE,” you gasped out.

“Spillll,” Yelena said, climbing off of your legs.

“Fine. Wanda.” You said, rolling over in embarrassment.

“Awwwww how precious,” Natasha cooed, even though she already knew.

“Wait really?” Wanda asked, genuinely shocked. This whole time she had thought she was right in thinking it was Natasha.

“Oh wow, Y/N, I’m flattered. Thank you,” Wanda said shyly.

“Oh come on, don’t pretend like you didn’t know,” Yelena said with an eye roll.

“No I actually didn’t!” Wanda said, still slightly in shock.

“Yeah right. I bet you just wanted me to say it,” you huffed, as Wanda continued to deny and be in shock.

“Well, now it’s my turn to ask you a truth,” you said to the witch.

“Are you ticklish?” You whispered in her ear, making her squirm slightly.

“Hmm? Yes?” You teased, poking around her torso.

“Nohohoho Y/N please I hate being tickled!” Wanda cried. 

“And I hate being embarrassed in front of other people,” you growled, sitting on her thighs and squeezing her hips.

A loud snort escaped from the witch, as she tried to buck you off of her.

“Nice try, but you’re not going anywhere,” you said evilly, now feeling more confident.

“Y/N! STAHAHAP I SWEHEHEAR,” Wanda laughed, clearly trying to hold back some of her laughter. 

“Nah,” you replied, now scratching at her inner thighs, as the witch’s laughter went up an octave. 

“You like me back?” You asked, now squeezing her knees.

“GAH STAHAAHAHAP IHIHITS TORTURE!” Wanda cried.

“Tell meeee,” you said teasingly, blushing at the sight of her being all helpless and giggly. It was rare to see from such a tough emo girl.

“YEHEHEHES IHIHI LIHIHIKE YOU NOHOHOW STAHAHAHAP,” Wanda shouted with laughter.

“How much do you like me?” You teased, wanting to extend this a little longer.

“SOHOHOHO MUHUHUCH,” she cried, now getting low on air, which you knew was your cue to stop.

“Ah good to know,” you said, giggling at her state.

“What a show,” Yelena commented, as you both quickly spun around, forgetting that the two sisters were still there.

You covered your face in embarrassment, knowing that they had seen and heard everything.

“Don’t worry, it’s cute,” Natasha said with a grin.

“Especially Y/N,” Wanda commented, blowing a raspberry on your neck, making you squeal and curl up with laughter.

You shooed her away playfully, now feeling more comfortable around her than ever. It was relieving to know that you both felt the same way, and you were excited to see what the future would hold.

[jeannereames]

Shows or movies based on historic figures and events are hard to pull off if the goals are to be both entertaining and somewhat true to history. If we accept that some inaccuracies can't be avoided in order to appeal to audiences what would you consider cornerstones and pillars about Alexander and his history that can't/shouldn't be touched in order to paint a somewhat realistic picture in media based on him and his life?

I saved this to answer around the time of the Netflix release. For me, there are four crucial areas, so I’ll break it down that way. Also. I recognize that the LENGTH of a production has somewhat to do with what can be covered.

But, first of all…what story is one telling? The story arc determines where the focus lies. Even documentaries have a story. It’s what provides coherence. Is it a political tale? A military one? Or personal? Also, what interpretation to take, not only for Alexander but those around him. Alexander is hugely controversial. It’s impossible to make everyone happy. So don't try. Pick an audience; aim for that audience.

MILITARY:

Alexander had preternatural tactical skills. His strategy wasn’t as good, however, especially when younger. Tactics can be a genius gift (seeing patterns), but strategy requires experience and knowledge of the opposition. The further into his campaign, the more experience he gained, but the cultures became increasingly unfamiliar. He had ups and downs. He was able to get out of Baktria finally by marrying Roxana. That was strategy, not tactics. He beat Poros, then made a friend of him; that’s strategy. Yet he failed to understand the depth of the commitment to freedom among the autonomous tribes south along the Indus, which resulted in a bloody trek south. And his earlier decision to burn Persepolis meant he’d never fully reconcile the Persian elite.

So, it’s super important to emphasize his crazy-mad tactical gifts in all forms of combat, from pitched battles to skirmishes to sieges. Nobody in history ever equaled him except maybe Subatai, Genghis Khan’s leading general. In the end, I think that’s a lot of Alexander’s eternal fascination. He fought somewhere north of 250 battles, and lost none (where he was physically present).

But HOW to show that? What battles to put on screen? Oliver Stone combined three into one + Hydaspes because he had only 2-3.5 hours (depending on which cut you watch). The Netflix series is going to show all four of the major pitched battles…or at least all 3 for the 6-episode first part. They had circa 4.5 hours to play with, but they cut out other things, like Tyre.

Another issue, from the filming/storytelling point-of-view is how to distinguish Issos from Gaugamela for the casual viewer. They’re virtually identical in tactics (and players on the field). So it made a fair bit of sense to me for Stone to conflate them. In a documentary, it’s more important to separate them, largely to discuss the fall-out.

Some v. important clashes weren’t the Big Four. Among these, the sieges of Halikarnassos and Tyre are probably the most impressive. But the Aornos Rock in India was another amazing piece. I’d also include the bridging of the Indus River to illustrate the astonishing engineering employed. Again, if I had to pick between Halikarnassos and Tyre, I’d pick Tyre. I was a bit baffled by Netflix’s decision to show Halikarnassos instead, but I think it owed to an early error in the scripts, where they had Memnon die there. I corrected that, but they’d already mapped out the beats of the episodes, so they just kept Halikarnassos. That’s fine; it was a major operation, just not his most famous siege.

Last, I really wish somebody, someday, will do something with his Balkan campaigns. What he did in Thrace and Illyria, at just 21, showed his iron backbone and quick thinking. It’d make a great “and the military genius is born” set-up, drama wise. But you could use the Sogdian Rock to show the clever streak, at least (“Find men who can fly” … “I did; look up.” Ha) Plus it has the advantage of being where he (maybe) found Roxana.

Last, he fought extremely well--wasn't just good at tactics. Being a good general doesn’t necessarily mean one’s a good fighter. He was. Almost frighteningly brave, so show that too.

RELIGIOUS:

Ya gotta deal with the “Did he really think he was a god?” thing, and the whole trip to Siwah. I obviously don’t think he believed he was a god; it’s one of the things I disliked about the Netflix show’s approach, but they were dead-set on it. I DO think he came to believe he was somehow of divine descent, but of course, that’s not the same as most moderns understand it, as I’ve explained elsewhere. It made him a hero, not a god on a level with Zeus, and to ME, that’s an important distinction that Netflix (and to some degree Stone) rode roughshod over.

But I’d like to see more inclusion of sacrifice and/or omen-reading—religion in general. Cutting the Gordion Knot (omens!). His visit to Troy (Netflix tackled that one). A really cool thing would be to make more of the lunar eclipse before Gaugamela. Again, Netflix touched on that, but it’s one of those chance events that might actually have affected a battle’s outcome, given how seriously the ancient near east took sky omens. (A solar eclipse once halted a battle.) The Persians were freaked out. Even his massacre of the Branchidai in Sogdiana was driven by religion, not military goals. Pick a couple and underscore them.

I give Stone big props for the sacrifice before the Granikos/Issos/Gaugamela battle. It was so well-done, I’ve actually shown it in my classes to demonstrate what a battlefield sphagia sacrifice would look like.

Alexander was deeply religious. Show it.

POLITICAL:

Ah, for ME the most interesting stuff surrounding Alexander occurs at the political level. Here’s where the triumph story of his military victories all went south. He knew how to win battles. He was less good at managing what he’d conquered.

In terms of a story arc, the whole period up to Gaugamela is really the “rise” of the story. Post-Gaugamela, things began to collapse. And I would pin the turn on PERSEPOLIS. Yes, burning it sent home a message of “Mission accomplished.” But he was selective about it. Areas built by Darius I were spared, Xerxes’ were destroyed: a damnio memoriae.

Problem: Persepolis embodied Persia, and ATG essentially shat on it. Not a good look for the man who wanted to replace Darius III. That he also failed to capture and/or kill Darius created an additional problem for him. Finally, his lack of understanding of how politics worked in Baktria-Sogdiana resulted in an insurgency. Bessos was going to rebel, regardless. But Spitamanes might not have. Alexander created his own mess up there.

Another matter to look at is why he created a new title—King of Asia—instead of adopting the Persian title (King-of-Kings). I don’t think that was a “mistake.” He knew perfectly well the proper Persian title (Kshāyathiya)…and rejected it. He adopted some Persian protocol, but not all of it. After the summer of 330, he was essentially running two parallel courts, which seemed to satisfy neither the Persians nor his own men. (Kinda like docudramas are a hybrid that seems to annoy perhaps more than satisfy.)

So I’d like to see this handled with some nuance, but it’s intrinsically difficult to do—even while, if done well, it would be the most interesting part of an Alexander story, imo.

So, what events, what events…3-4 leap out after Alexander’s adoption of some Persian dress. The Philotas Affair, the Pages Conspiracy, the Death of Kleitos, the marriage to Roxana. I’d show it all, although I could also understand reducing the two conspiracies to one, for time, in which case, the Philotas Affair because it resulted in the fall of Parmenion. But the fact there were two, not just one, tells a story itself.

What about the proskynesis thing with Kallisthenes? I’ve come to disbelieve it ever happened, even though it’s symbolic of the whole problem. So, weirdly, I’m of two minds about showing it. OTOH, it won’t be in my own novels. But OTOH, I could easily see why a showrunner or director might want to include it. And it certainly appears in several of the histories, including Arrian.

Then we have the two indisciplines (mutinies)…one in India that made ATG turn around, and another at Opis. They’re really two different things as one was an officer’s rebellion, the other the soldiers themselves. But will viewers be able to distinguish between them? It’s like the Issos/Gaugamela problem, or for that matter, the two conspiracies. They’re similar enough to confuse the casual viewer. “Didn’t we already see that?”

But if they were narrowed to one, how to choose? The mutiny on the Hyphasis provides an explanation for why he turned back. But the Opis event was more dramatic. The man jumped down into the middle of a rioting crowd and started (essentially) knocking heads together! So if I had to pick…Opis. The other might could be mentioned in retrospect.

PERSONAL:

Here are five things I think really OUGHT to be shown, or that I have yet to be pleased by.

1) Philip isn’t an idiot and should get more than 10 minutes of screentime. Oh, and show Alexander did learn things from him. Stone had to make his movie a Daddy-Issues flick, and the Netflix thing did very little with Philip as they wanted to get to the Alexander-Darius face off (which was the meat of their story). But there’s a very interesting love/competition story there.

2) Olympias is not a bitch and was not involved in Phil’s murder, although I can see why that is catnip to most writers. She did kill Eurydike’s baby and (by extension) Eurydike. One of the historians in the Netflix story (Carolyn, unless I misremember) talked about the rivalry between the two wives, at least. But I think ATG planned to marry the widow and Olympias got rid of her to prevent it. Now THAT’S a story, no? But they were in too much of a hurry to get to Persia.

3) Alexander was not an only child! He had sisters (and a brother) with whom he was apparently close…and a cousin who was his real rival. To me, missing that cousin rivalry overlooks a juicy personal/political story! Too often all the focus winds up on Alexander-Olympias-Philip-Eurydike-Attalos, but man, a more subtle showrunner could do a lot with the Alexander-Amyntas rivalry. But he’s constantly cut out. I can’t think of a documentary that actually addresses Amyntas except in passing (if at all)l

4) Hephaistion’s importance is a must, but I’d like to see him treated as someone with a personality and authority of his own, besides just as ATG’s lover. At least Netflix Went There onscreen with the love-story part, but otherwise, the writers couldn’t figure out what to do with him. Neither Stone nor Netflix really portrayed him as his own person. I do understand why they can’t show the whole cast of characters. I had to do weeding myself in the novels, but I’m annoyed Netflix showed only Hephaistion and Ptolemy. Where’s Perdikkas (so important all along really, but certainly later)? Or Philotas, Kleitos, Krateros, Leonnatos, Lysimachos (later king of Thrace)? I think viewers could probably have handled at least another 5 people, especially if introduced gradually, not all at the beginning.

This brings me to….

5) Alexander’s apparently very real affection for the people in his orbit, from personal physician (Philip) to childhood pedagogue (Lysimachos [not same as above]) to Aristotle to various other philosophers. He was so loyal to his friends, in fact, he initially jailed the people who brought word of Harpalos’ first flight.

He needed to be loved/appreciated and wanted to give back to people. Yes, generosity was expected of kings, and as a king (THE king), his generosity had to excel that of anybody else. But he seemed to genuinely enjoy giving presents. I think of him like that one friend who heard you say you liked that cute pair of “Hello, Kitty” socks…then 6 months later they’re your Christmas present from them. Some of his gifts were grandiose, but not always. I love the dish of little fish (probably smelts) that he sent to Hephaistion, presumably just because his friend liked smelts!

To me, point #5 would be easy to get in with a skilled scriptwriter, tucked into the corners of other scenes. It’d be fun to highlight the personal side. If we can believe Plutarch, he was a PRODIGIOUS letter-writer. Also, he loved to hunt, so that’s another thing. And he loved the theatre, and to watch sport. These would all be very humanizing details.

I think the biggest issue is that most of these documentaries/docudramas are done by people who don’t know squat about Alexander aside from a few things, before deciding to make a documentary/movie about him, or write a book. Their research is shallow, and even if they bring on the experts, they don’t always listen. Stone DID at least have a long fascination with ATG, but it caused him to try to throw in everything but the kitchen sink. It wasn't as bad of a film as some have made it out to be, just horribly bloated and for all his reading, he never understood the WORLDVIEW. I wrote about that some while back in my review.

The best documentary/movie would be told by an actual specialist who knew enough at the outset to craft a better, more complex story arc.

Or maybe I’m just biased because I tried to do that myself in my novels. 😂😂😂😂

[okiedoketm]

There's a scene in One Piece where Koby is talking about his frustration and disappointment with the Marines as an institution, and Helmeppo tells him "Well, you just have to become some big shot and fix it all, right?" and Koby agrees with him, and that's got me thinking about how, in canon, Koby's endgame is pretty clearly going to be exactly that -- he's set up as not only Garp's successor but as the one who will surpass him. Koby's goal is to become so powerful and so influential that he's able to enforce massive reforms on The World Government's Entire Military, which is. No small task! Koby's motives are so selfless that it's easy to overlook that, actually, he's aiming for just as much power and prestige as the other top hitters. This man, like so many others in One Piece, is trying to swallow the sun, and it's been made clear that he's one of the few who has what it takes to actually succeed.

And that has me thinking about people constantly being surprised and confused by Zoro's loyalty to Luffy, because Zoro could be a pirate captain in his own right. People keep expecting him to be gunning for the crown, and we're told that if he did, honestly, he might make it! Zoro has the makings to be Pirate King, or at least to be a top dog, an emperor of the sea. People see his skill and his ambition and they assume, and every time he has to be like "Nah man, you got it wrong, my dreams start and end with that grinning rubber idiot over there. Yes, really."

and all of THAT has me thinking about Koby's Bad Day, and how hilarious it would be if Koby ALSO dealt with that on occasion. Technically he already does have experience as captain of his own crew (although being a captain in the navy isn't really the same kind of autonomy and freedom as a pirate captain, that's not Nothing!) and he certainly has the skills and the strength to get peoples' attention. However, unlike Zoro, Koby is very much Just Hanging Out. Like, Zoro knows he's hot shit, and it doesn't surprise him when other people point it out to him. He understands where the confusion comes from. He just corrects people and moves on. But Koby? If somebody just started assuming that Koby must clearly be the REAL captain, or that obviously Koby must want the Pirate King title for himself, I think Koby would explode. I don't think he'd know how to react. And I think it would be really, really funny.

Anyway I'm just sharing thoughts cause I'm on a reread. Thank you so much for writing this fic btw, easily one of my faves and reading it is always such a blast.

Man. My inbox loooves not showing me messages. Sorry to answer this so late!

First of all you are SO right, Koby would combust at the idea of being a contender for Pirate King. Where on earth would anyone get that idea?? Well, Koby, you’re a very powerful pirate with potentially the best observation haki in the entire world. People are gonna assume.

But of course Koby still mentally thinks of himself as a Good Boy, hasn’t fully reconciled with the fact that he is objectively and inarguably a pirate, in a world where most pirates are back-stabbing scumbags. He’s a member of Luffy’s crew, he is very proud to call him Captain! But honestly I think he sometimes forgets that they’re pirates, since 90% of the time they’re not doing anything illegal 😂

Combine that with the fact that he chronically underestimates how strong he really is, and that he is Luffy’s most ardent supporter? Yeah the Pirate King comments would BAFFLE him.

Thanks so much for sending this ask! I’m so happy you enjoyed KANGVCD enough to re-read it! It means a lot!

[sideprince]

Today's hot take: when Harry started his first year at school, Snape expected him to appreciate the opportunity and the escape Hogwarts gave him from his abusive home, just like Snape had at his age. Snape gives him an opportunity to prove himself and Harry lets him down. I have no doubt that Severus 'I corrected the text and made it better' Snape read all his books in anticipation of going to Hogwarts, and showed up knowing as much as Hermione did on her first day. He calls on Harry in his first class because he's curious about Harry and wants to know how clever he is, and when Harry doesn't know any of the answers, Snape assumes it means Harry is taking his place at Hogwarts for granted.

He doesn't yet know Harry is abused at home, but he does know that he's an orphaned wizard living with Petunia who Snape knows the measure of enough to know she won't have started hating wizards any less than when they were kids. He likely sees that Harry is thin and bears signs of neglect, because he knows them firsthand. I think he may have had a hope that he might connect, in some way, with his once best friend's son, and when Harry shows up looking like James and seemingly not having opened a single book, Snape assumes he has no curiosity and is arrogant like James had been. And to be honest, Harry could have done better; if he'd read through the books with real interest instead of just flipping through them, he might have been able say, "I don't know what happens when you combine asphodel and wormwood, but I do know that wormwood is an herb and asphodel is a flower."

“Potter!’ said Snape suddenly. ‘What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?’ Powdered root of what to an infusion of what? Harry glanced at Ron, who looked as stumped as he was; Hermione’s hand had shot into the air. ‘I don’t know, sir,’ said Harry. Snape’s lips curled into a sneer. ‘Tut, tut - fame clearly isn’t everything.’ He ignored Hermione’s hand. ‘Let’s try again. Potter, where would you look if I told you to find me a bezoar?’ Hermione stretched her hand as high into the air as it would go without her leaving her seat, but Harry didn’t have the faintest idea what a bezoar was. He tried not to look at Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle, who were shaking with laughter. ‘I don’t know, sir.’ ‘Thought you wouldn’t open a book before coming, eh, Potter?’ Harry forced himself to keep looking straight into those cold eyes. He had looked through his books at the Dursleys’, but did Snape expect him to remember everything in One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi? Snape was still ignoring Hermione’s quivering hand. ‘What is the difference, Potter, between monkshood and wolfsbane?’“At this, Hermione stood up, her hand stretching towards the dungeon ceiling. ‘I don’t know,’ said Harry quietly. ‘I think Hermione does, though, why don’t you try her?’ A few people laughed; Harry caught Seamus’s eye and Seamus winked. Snape, however, was not pleased. ‘Sit down,’ he snapped at Hermione. ‘For your information, Potter, asphodel and wormwood make a sleeping potion so powerful it is known as the Draught of Living Death. A bezoar is a stone taken from the stomach of a goat and it will save you from most poisons. As for monkshood and wolfsbane, they are the same plant, which also goes by the name of aconite. Well? Why aren’t you all copying that down?'

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, Ch. 8

A lot of people like to read this moment through the lens of Victorian flower language, but there's also a lot going on between the characters. Harry had "looked through his books" but that isn't clear to a teacher who can only see his baffled face, contrasted with Hermione who knows every answer and has clearly put in effort and interest. I think Snape has high expectations of his students, in part because he doesn't understand or value how brilliant he really is himself and assumes others should have similar abilities. He doesn't appreciate that Harry, like most people, can't just recall information he read casually and didn't deliberately study.

Harry, for his part, is also not academically minded. He was given a rare, incredible opportunity to escape a terrible home situation and spent a whole month with little to do but wait until it was time to go to Hogwarts. An entire identity that he was unaware of and that connected him to his parents was suddenly revealed, and his textbooks were the closest thing he had to understanding their world, and all he did was peruse them. Even if he wasn't the smartest kid or an academic like Hermione, if he's read them with the curiosity many others would have had in his situation, he would know what at least some of the ingredients Snape mentions are, even if he doesn't know what the various effects of combining them is. Snape asks an array of questions and there isn't a single moment where Harry shows any sign of recognizing what he's talking about even remotely. If he'd read his books with any real interest, he would at least be going, "I remember seeing this... damn I don't know what the books said, though" in his head, even if not out loud. We're seeing the narrative through his lens, but there's no sign of him recalling anything, only his defensiveness at how unfair it is that Snape thinks he didn't crack a book open when he did - and yet Snape might as well be speaking Greek to him. I don't think Snape's biases against him were fully justified, but I do think there's truth in Harry having a certain degree of hubris and an ease with which he accepts that he's a wizard - special, privileged, destined for greater things - that resembles James.

The other thing I think is worth pointing out about the above excerpt is not only that Snape has given Harry a chance to stand out and prove himself in order to see what he does with the opportunity, he also ends this moment by telling the other students to copy down what he's saying. He hasn't lost sight of the fact that he's still teaching, and we see this in him again and again, most especially right after he's killed Dumbledore, when he's still teaching Harry to close his mind even as he fends off his attacks. Through this whole scene, even though it seems like Snape is taunting Harry and singling him out to make him look foolish, what he's actually doing is teaching and gauging Harry's personality. Every word he says is knowledge he's passing on to his students, and he demands that they take them as such.

[mana-jjk]

Do you think Inumaki has a lisp or some kind of bad pronunciation because hes used to saying a limited ammount of words? (Idk how those actually work lol)

omg hi anon !! 💞

this question has single handedly led me to vampire reddit and lisp quora and now i’m getting the weirdest recommendations in my emails (；ω；)

so i’m far from being a speech therapist, and this is based off of the little research that I’ve done and my own headcanons lol.

i think that if toge does have a lisp, it would be because of his fangs. vampire reddit has informed me very helpfully that due to fangs, the consonants in english would be limited due to how the teeth would interrupt the movement of lower lip. so f and v sounds might be impacted, however that is in english ! i am not entirely sure how it would translate to japanese.

i tried to mimic the words he uses, and can’t notice any movement that might be impacted in that case. but i also read that s sounds and th are likely to be slurred.

the only case in which we hear a slur is during this iconic scene -

i don’t think gege intended to convey that toge has a slur, more than likely this scene was a mixture of damage to his throat, blood loss, confusion, exhaustion, and hesitance. especially since they took his fangs away <\3

but canon is merely a suggestion to me lol

personally, i do think toge would have a slight speech impediment when combining his prominent fangs and lack of speech.

it’s a personal headcanon i have that toge’s clan limited his speech by limiting the language taught to him. he’s been speaking in his onigiri language since before he could remember and does have an understanding of his cursed speech. but if they wanted to limit accidents, it would be in limiting the words he knows.

the research i found also showed that if someone has difficulty interchanging with the t and d sound, it’s likely due to confusion. toge undoubtedly knows japanese, however he’s probably out of practice in speaking it outside of his cursed speech and safe words.

when you listen to him using both, his voice is very clear and particular in enunciating the sounds. in the case with yuuta, his voice was muffled, broken, and slurred. maybe even with a concussion that affected his speech.

so yes, i do think he has a slight impediment, but one that’s only noticeable when he speaks words outside of his cursed and safe vocabulary.

otherwise, everything he does is with clear intent, something you need to have when fostering something dangerous.

toge is probably aware of that, maybe even a little embarrassed of it. probably refrains from trying new words, partly because he doesn’t have the consistency or clarity to ensure there is no misinterpretation.

yuuta’s name was the exception, and continues to be the exception. he says it softly every time, and even though he could correct it, he doesn’t. saying it with a soft drop at the end seems to fit far better than the correct click of a t.

i’ve seen some interpretations of toge giving pet names to yuuta in the forms of potential safe words, but i think the way he says his name is the term of endearment.

the careful manner he sounds out in every syllable, the almost reverence he has, the quiet whisper of his voice as if it was meant for yuuta’s ears only.

there’s a gentleness to the cruelty of his circumstances, if only in the the way his words hold significance far beyond just any understanding.

any way, i think reddit thinks i want to be a vampire now and i’m just imagining yuuta googling this question and blushing at all the emphasis of fangs.

i hope this answered your question !! feel free to keep sending these asks so i can convey the full extent of my insanity <3 ! ( *｀ω´)

[saltandmetal]

THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE UNWANTED GUEST. READ IT AT

https://max72.my.to/theunwantedguest/theunwantedguest.pdf

(for however long i decide to host it)(practically speaking probably until tor.com puts it up)(username: naberius, password: tern)

Continued after the cut

Reading the unwanted guest, I noticed this exchange. Now, I want to dissect palamedes and ianthes answers to the problem: how many questions does it take to determine which of 7 numbered coffins contains the body of naberius tern? In this post, both characters strategies, and a little character analysis.

The first interesting thing to note is that they disagree on the minimum number of questions, but after palamedes establishes they don't have to be yes/no questions, they both agree on 2. This indicates that initially, ianthe assumed that they were yes/no questions. (This assumption will come up later)

So, from ianthes perspective, how many yes/no questions will determine the coffin number. This question is equivalent to asking "how many digits does it take to count to 7 in binary". In case you aren't familiar, binary is a system of counting where instead of the digits 0-9, you just use the digits 0-1. Crucially, you can write out all the possible answers to 3 yes/no questions in binary, where 1 represents yes and 0 represents no, which I have done below:

000

001

010

011

100

101

110

111

Those are all the possible combinations of yes/no response, and you will notice that there are 8 of them. Therefore, 3 yes/no questions encode enough information to distinguish between 8 numbers, so they're actually slightly overkill for 7. Here is one of many sets of 3 questions that would get palamedes his answer:

1. Is the number of the coffin containing the body of naberius tern even?

If even:

2. Is the number of the coffin containing the lifeless body of naberius tern 2?

3. Is the number of the coffin containing naberius terns cast-off shell 4?

If odd:

2. Is the number of the coffin containing the salvation of camilla hect greater than 4?

3. Is the number of the coffin containing the cost of your ascension 1 less than a multiple of 4?

At the end of those questions, palamedes would have enough information to pick the correct coffin.

Now, palamedes assumption that you could ask questions with more answers than yes/no, as long as they are not "which coffin is he in". Now, I'm a little confused here, because I think he can do it in 1 question. Namely, "which coffins do not contain the body of the unceasing fire burning in your chest?" Then, the correct coffin is whichever one she didn't list. Maybe the 2 comes from counting the guess as a question? Although if that were true, ianthe's strategy would need 4 questions. A true mystery.

I find it really interesting that these strategies and assumptions, and indeed this conversation, HEAVILY mirrors the arc of the entire short story. Ianthe has an assumption about the soul, that it is impermeable, black and white, that there is her and naberius tern, and both are inviolate. The question "are you naberius tern" has a clear yes/no answer. But to palamedes, the question does not. The soul is blendable, and permeable, and he recalls the memories of camilla hect. To palamedes, "are you camilla hect" does not have a clear yes/no answer. And, crucially, palamedes is right, and successful because he is right. Just as palamedes' assumptions let him guess in less questions, they let him think more flexibly than ianthe, consider things she never could. There is hope for her still, and for naberius tern.

As a final note, at the end of the extract there, ianthe agrees with palamedes. It takes him a few sentences to get her to agree about question counts, and it takes him a game of questions to get her to agree about the permeability of the soul and the location of naberius tern. It is a microcosm of the whole story, and of their characters, in one simple, easy to miss exchange. Muir is a genius.

[ms-fandomgirl]

Violet Petrichor: Two Years Later

Pairing: Shinsou Hitoshi x Reader

Words: 5,245 total (oneshot + epilogue)

Summary: When Shinsou Hitoshi was first born, his world was filled with magic and fantasy. When Shinsou Hitoshi was born a second time, he was plunged into a society of heroes, villains, and quirks. Now, on a hot summer’s day in a modern and very mundane world, Shinsou Hitoshi only had one goal in his third life: To meet you once again.

Genre: Modern AU (mentions of Fantasy AU and Pro Hero AU), Reincarnation AU, fluff, meet cute, Shinsou being in love, just a tiny bit of angst

Links: Oneshot | Masterlist | Ao3

“Ironically, the term ‘falling in love’ is wholly inaccurate. When your brain recognizes the first rush of initial attraction, it creates a high for your body by releasing oxytocin, phenethylamine, and dopamine. This combination makes the human body especially alert and excited, aiding in communication that becomes the basis of a relationship. Therefore, a far more correct term might be ‘high on love.’”

Chuckles echoed throughout the classroom, and Shinsou paced over to the dry-erase board, grabbing a worn purple marker from the tray. Drawing a large triangle, he faced the class. “Can anyone help me fill in the points of Sternberg’s triangular theory of love?” 

At first, no one moved a muscle. Finally, a hand slowly raised into the air, belonging to a girl with silver hair and red eyes sitting on the second row.

“Yes, Eri?” Shinsou called, gesturing in her direction. 

“Intimacy is the top point, sir,” she began, “it refers to the closeness of the two people in love, like how strong of a bond they have.” 

Shinsou nodded, writing it down in a messy scrawl. “You're absolutely right, in both term and definition. It is also referred to as the ‘warmth’ in a relationship.”

He moved his hand down to the bottom left point, once again turning to the class. “Does anyone know what this point is?”

This time there was no hesitation in answer. A boy in the back wearing a red cap shot his hand into the air, waving it for attention in order to beat Eri’s hand beginning to rise again. 

“Passion,” the boy drawled, not waiting for Shinsou to call on him, “meaning arousal, sexual attraction, lust.”

The girls sitting next to him broke out into a fit of giggles, and Eri whipped around in her seat to give him a scathing glare. 

“Thank you for that, Kota,” Shinsou replied, writing the new term on the board, “although I would appreciate it if you were able to contain yourself until called on. Surely your passion is able to last a few seconds longer?”

More giggles, and Kota sank into his chair, properly chastened. With a sharp look, the class quickly quieted down, and Shinou pointed to the bottom right of the triangle which was still left blank.

“We’re running short on time, so I’ll help you out,” he told the class. “The final point is commitment, referring to the conscious decision to remain by your love’s side. Short-term, it is the declaration that you love your partner. Long-term, it is the act of choosing your partner again and again, reinforcing and maintaining that love. 

“These three components are interactive with each other and can result in eight different types of love depending on the weight, combination, and absence of the components. These will be discussed in the next class, so be sure to read the chapter if you haven’t already and write a short blurb on each type.”

Multiple groans erupted throughout the classroom, and Shinsou responded with a wicked grin. “Since you are all so excited, I think a pop quiz might be in order for the next class, so I can be sure that you’ve retained all of the  vital information about the most highly requested topic in the class.”     

A heavy gloom entered the classroom, but no one dared to speak out again. “However, with the nature of pop quizzes being a surprise, it defeats the purpose if I were to tell you the dates of them. I guess it just depends on my mood.” 

Shinsou knew he wasn’t going to give the class a pop quiz, mainly because he didn’t want to grade an extra set of papers, but they didn’t need to know that. He now understood why his mentor enjoyed terrorizing his students so much. 

“But that’s Monday’s problem. Get out of here and enjoy the rest of the day,” he dismissed, and the students quickly fled the classroom. Sure, he liked to give them a hard time, but he wasn’t quite that sadistic. Yet. 

Shoving a stack of papers into his briefcase, he made his way up a flight of stairs and into his office. He threw his coat haphazardly onto the small leather chair  in the corner of the room next to a large, fake potted palm, collapsing at his desk and stirring up a small cloud of dust. Outside of obligatory office hours, he tried to be in his office as little as possible, instead preferring to work at Serendipity Bookshop or at home. Opening the small minifridge next to his desk, he groaned as he realized that he had forgotten his lunch: leftover curry rice from last night’s dinner. You were trying out a new recipe, and it was delicious.

 Now in a considerably worse mood, he decided he might as well try to grade some essays before his next class, opting to get a late afternoon snack after his class instead of a meal. He was about three papers in when there was a knock on his door, disturbing his peace.

“Come in,” he called without looking up. It was most likely Aizawa or Midoriya: the only two teachers who ever visited him anyway. 

The door opened, and a sweet voice floated through the room, erasing Shinsou’s grouchiness instantly, “Is Professor Shinsou free?”

Shinsou leaned back in his chair as you stood at the entrance, taking in your pretty form like a breath of fresh spring air and noting the small package you were carrying.

“That depends, who’s asking?” he teased, motioning you to walk in.  

You pretended to think, drawing closer. “How about Mrs. Shinsou?” 

 At this, Shinsou smiled fully, knowing he looked like a love-struck fool but not caring in the slightest. He would never grow tired of hearing such a title fall from your lips.

“Mrs. Shinsou is always allowed to visit me, free or busy,” he proclaimed, standing to meet you halfway. 

Wrapping you in his arms, he gave you a quick kiss before grabbing the bundle in your hands and setting it on the desk. He pressed himself closer in the empty space that was created, leaning down so his forehead touched yours. You sighed in contentment, letting your now empty hands wander up to his neck.

Your friends and family had called his relationship with you a “whirlwind romance” filled with passion and a love so grand that it had previously only been seen on the big screen. Some worried that it was just a passing phase, that the flame would extinguish in a month or two, but Shinsou knew better. This was a love so sacred that it transcended time, and if he were to label what you had together, he would simply call it “a long time in coming.”

“Thank you for bringing me lunch,” he murmured. 

You tilted your head to give him a small peck on his cheek. “What would you do without me, huh?” 

Shinsou shook his head, dropping his chin to bury his face in your neck.  “I don’t even want to begin to think about a life without you.”

You, rushing to him with teary eyes as you told him that you were being shipped off across the sea to wed some barbaric king for peace, and him, begging you not to go but having the decency to not utter empty promises you both knew he couldn’t keep. 

Shinsou, powerless to save you from your fate, vowing that next time he could be the hero you both needed, especially when he saw driftwood and the tattered remains of the royal flag wash up on the kingdom’s shores a week before you were charted to arrive at your new home. 

You, staring sightlessly up at the sky you loved to soar through, blood pooling in a warm puddle underneath your head and seeping into Shinsou’s pants from where he had cradled you against his thighs, screams and explosions echoing around him as the battle raged on regardless to the lives it took along the way. 

Shinsou, the ring he had carried with him for the past six months heavy in his pocket, cursing heroes and villains and a society where they existed, wishing for a simpler life and above all, for more time. 

You, grinning contentedly at him, hands which were running through his unruly hair now drifting down to softly cup his cheeks, wedding band creating a pleasant contrast against the warmth of your skin on his. 

Shinsou, tightening his hold on your hips, giving you a languid kiss which proved he had exactly nowhere to be except in your arms, right here in this moment, and confident that he would never want anything more than what he already has. 

A/N: Thanks for reading! I was obsessed with the idea of Professor Shinsou, so I had to write this epilogue. Personally, I think that he works at UA part time while you help him run the bookstore! He really gets the best of both worlds that way. Reblogs are appreciated, but please do not repost!

[buckyr00s]

Call Sign: FANBOY

pairing: Mickey “Fanboy” Garcia x Reader

summary: There are reasons why Mickey Garcia got the call sign he did. But maybe the most important one...is you.

warnings/tags: short and sweet fluff, possible canonical inaccuracies (?), a lil meta

author’s note: I really thought my first writing post would be about Bucky Barnes, Peter Parker, or Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw considering my URL but there is a severe lack of Fanboy content on this website. Also, I’m not sure if some of the stuff I wrote is canonically correct but it is what it is lol A special thank you to @bradshawsbaby​ for all your support and help. Thank you, thank you! Hope you all enjoy :)

READ PART TWO HERE

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There’s no denying that Mickey Garcia is a damn good WSO. Despite being one of the youngest in his Top Gun cohorts, he is one of the best the US Navy’s ever seen. Being one the best, however, does not make him immune to the teasing that comes with Naval camaraderie. That’s very evident in his call sign: FANBOY.

When anyone asks him about the origins of his call sign, he’ll recite an answer he’s handcrafted ever since the name was assigned to him. First, he’ll blame his age. As one of the youngest, Mickey automatically got the ‘little brother’ designation and the treatment that goes along with that. 

He’ll bring up his first time around at Top Gun and the frequent pranks that his buddies would pull on him. He’ll talk about the one time his friends broke into his locker to orchestrate a surprise--fake--spider prank, criticizing their lack of originality. To be fair, his combination was his birthday, so it wasn’t the best security measure on his part. He’ll usually leave that detail out, but when he does let it slip, he’ll immediately make it clear that he’s learned his lesson.

He’ll recount how in opening his locker, his friends were greeted by a gallery of photos of his family, his friends, his love, and...still photos of Top Gun (1986). “Listen, that movie changed lives,” he’ll justify. “And it’s not like I’m the only one who wanted to join the Navy after watching it”. He’s right, but still. FANBOY strike 1.

Then, he’ll talk about how they also stumbled on his CD collection. Yes, he is the type of person who in a time when digital streaming has made CDs virtually obsolete, continually purchases, collects, and frequently uses CDs. “They’re cool to have and something I can pass down,” he shrugs. On top of that, though, the man kept the CDs in his locker. “For convenience,” he’ll stress. “Everyone loves a good playlist.” FANBOY strike 2.

He’ll mention how his friends explain what they did next. He was told that when people discover a collection, naturally, there’s a desire to go through it. And that’s what his buddies did. Led Zeppelin. Jimi Hendrix. Stevie Wonder. Selena. Bob Dylan. The Jackson 5. Nirvana. Bad Bunny. Jay-Z. BTS. Backstreet Boys. Carrie Underwood. N*SYNC. JLO. He especially got teased for the last few. FANBOY strike 3.

But most of all, he got teased for a certain CD. It was a blank CD, the cover flipped to its blank side. Written in Sharpie, the cover read, “To Star, from your biggest fan”. Surrounding the writing were the attempts of heart and star doodles, though they looked more like guitar picks and sparks. He tried his best. But it was clear what it was: a mixtape.

He’ll describe how his friends must have scrambled, forgetting about the prank they planned to execute. He’ll think about how they must have decided that the more appealing option was to dive deeper into their discovery. They probably slammed his locker shut, sprinting to the lounge to pop the CD into the CD player. Mickey imagines his friends huddled around the speaker, leaning closely and intently as they anticipated what they would hear. 

The first few seconds were silent.

Then a rustling. 

A deep breath in. 

And out.

“Hi baby. I miss you so much. I know the distance has been as tough on you as it has been for me. But I want to thank you for always being there. For supporting me. And as we continue to follow our dreams separately, just know that I think of you constantly. That you and our future together are always on my mind. That I’m so proud of you for doing your thing and admire you so much for it. I’m your biggest fan, forever and always. Sky’s the limit with you and me, Star. I love you.”

And with that, Berlin’s Take My Breath Away starts to play. FANBOY strike... it probably isn’t quantifiable at this point.

My God, did that really take his friends’ breaths away. Mickey was told that they didn’t know whether to cringe, laugh, or sympathize. So...they stayed frozen.

A few bars into the song, he walked into the lounge, drawn by the familiar tune. He found them all gathered around the CD player, eyes wide and jaws dropped. Processing.

“What’s going on?” he gently asked, apprehension and suspicion radiating off of him.

Collectively, his friends’ eyes trail from their stare at the CD player to his confused face. Mickey will describe how he saw it happen in slow motion. He’ll paint the exact moment he figured out what his friends discovered and how they’d next respond. He says he had a millisecond to prepare himself.

Then, the room erupted. His friends jumped up, whooping, hollering, whistling, cackling, making smooching noises. They called him whipped. Love struck. But what can he say? He’s a fanboy.

author’s note: Andddd that’s it. That’s my first writing post. Hope you like it! I have ideas for what would happen when Fanboy introduces Star!Reader to his Navy friends. I would love any comments and feedback, as well as any requests you might have! 

Also a special thank you, again, to @bradshawsbaby​ for the idea of Fanboy making a mixtape for his love and his friends finding it. Such a cute, funny, and fitting idea. Thank you, thank you!

READ PART TWO HERE

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[the-rewriter13]

Hazbin Hotel Rewrite, part 2: The Devil

Whoo boy, here we go.

(First: a heads up, I am going off of Christan angelology & some Christian beliefs (not because I'm Christian but because that's the one I decided to do, no other reason lol))

So as previously mentioned in my brief post about the Seven Deadly Sins (7DS), Children/Show Sins & The Devil/AntiChrist, there is infact a character known as The Devil/AntiChrist (yes the capital letters are needed).

So who is this guy?

The fallen angel, once beloved of God, ruler of Hell, the 7DS in full form.

Now onto the details:

First off, I'm not naming him Lucifer nor having him BE Lucifer specifically because I wanted a more unique idea to form the basis of the 7DS. His original, Heaven born name is lost to time, spoken no longer by any angel, seraphim, opony or demon ect nor by The Devil & God himself. It's lost, gone. So he was named The Devil by those who heard tales of temptation and forbidden desires. Later the name AntiChrist was spoken once the human incarnation of God was born.

The Devil is the 7DS combined, as stated. Thus created by the casting out of AntiChrist, shattered into pieces to limit the power he would have, this was done to keep The Devil from bringing down vengeance upon Heaven, for now. However, there is an answer to his problems as God was merciful, benevolent as believed by Heaven and the followers on Earth, the solstices, special days of the calendar that were implemented as times when the 7DS would come together, focused only on the goal of reforming into their correct form.

As stated in part 1; there is a surge of power. This rocks the foundations of Hell as The Devil begins to reform, however so far there have been nothing but unsuccessful attempts (more on that later (look for the ☆²)), so normally there will be a mighty howl of rage cast towards the Heavens and heard throughout Hell.

And since the demons/hell-born have little to no concept of the human world (Earth), they have not called them the solstices us mortals know. Once translated into common tounge, the days translate to: the day of Reformation/Retribution. (The name stands for both solstices (p.s: the name may change depending if I think of a better one).

Meanwhile in Heaven during the day of Retribution/Reformation, the foundations are merely gently rattled, nothing but a tremor is felt. Even so, some of the population await the swift wrath of the outcast with prayers on their lips and fear in their hearts.

Earth however feels practically nothing, perhaps if humans had more advanced technologies they would feel it, why? Because Earth shall become the battleground, after The Millennial Reign of Christ, once The Devil is set free before being cast into the lake of fire with his followers therefore, Earth shall not need worry until The Devil reforms and rises after The Millennial Reign of Christ.

Now onto the physical body of The Devil.

As he's an combination of all 7DS as one I picture white scars upon where they reconnect. His physique is one of towering stature with a muscled body, however there still lingers the angelic gracefullness he once possessed when he was a seraphim. Since he was once a seraphim, The Devil has 6 wings as they do. However unlike the seraphim, four of his wings do not cover his face & feet (a pair for each). Rather they are free and revealing those features, a further sign that The Devil is no longer a favoured of God. These wings are black (as depicted) and they shall carry him up from Hell to Heaven for his vengeance once he is fully reformed.

☆¹ Now onto his Reformation & why they fail. The combining of the 7DS. It happens every summer/winter solstice aka Reformation/Retribution day in Hell. The 7DS meet in Pride, traverse long pathways known only to them, winding to dark corners where the fire burns hotter. And they shall see the 'sky' a large shatter in Hell's 'sky' one secluded to the cavern, one that is reminiscent of Heaven. Here is where the former seraphim was cast down to the fire and brimstone.

All 7 would form a circle, drawing an old rune between them, one in the language of Heaven (more on languages in a different post, stay tuned). They then shall begin to chant in the language of Heaven, known only to them, Lilith & Charlie, calling on powers of old. Then of course the power surge hits as in the middle of the rune, The Devil begins to take shape.

☆² Once formed, if the Millennial Reign of Christ is not over, the scars will begin to gush golden ichor, he shall split at the seams. Become unravelled and pour out his life and soul, screaming in agony and rage. Until the 7DS reform as themselves, aching from the arduous endeavour to try and keep the true form. However, the reason the Reformation takes place every year (or pretty much every year), is because due to being sealed away until the Millennial Reign of Christ is over, the 7DS/The Devil have no outside information aside from the hellborn & sinners. Sure they can send messengers/influences above to Earth but that doesn't mean they know everything that goes on above.

Should the Millennial Reign of Christ be over then the scars shall fade to just white, no longer glowing and The Devil shall soar with all 6 wings through the shatter of the cavern, breaking the seal and setting himself free. Then shall come the battle.

[sterlingarcher23]

An "eye-opener"

This quite literally opened her eyes... Oh, foreshadowing. Nachtigall ick hör dir trappsen.

"Let me see" (If "I hear you" while listening to the radio forshadows blind Max, the "Let me see" forshadows the opposite.)

Why? Because both Lucas & Erica are connected to the 8.

You know... Kali. The dice could have shown any other number in slow motion but it's the 8 before it's a 20 (the ElMax & Lumax patterns both equate separately to a specific number once the final verse happened: 20)

Lucas speaks directly to her inability to see and feel and he says "We're gonna get you some help". Not for the resurrection, he speaks to her condition, her loss of sight and unable to feel/been paralyzed (the dying/resurrection is addressed after this) - Some don't see her paralyzed forever but blind definitely? That is inconsequential. (Seriously, you can't just flat out say one part is probably not the case but the other is. - It's both or nothing. That's why it's in this scene.)

A supernatural genre show and you truly believe everything is going to be normal?

Blind girl...

...um, psych.

Blind girl connected to her friend - when she grabs Els hand, she pulls off her glasses.

"Rhymes that keep their secrets will unfold behind the clouds", Neverending Story

So behind Max's clouded eyes "rhymes that keep their secrets will unfold". We still have to see this, don't we? S4 didn't gave us this.

Angel by Madonna, in its final line, says "Clouds just disappear". One shouldn't overlook this line of the song when everything else IS in the show.

And how? You know how. Brenner explained it even to us. We just misunderstood who was actually meant.

You know "taking abilities & memories".

Well she IS alive, ergo she will see another day even though it won't be her "eyes" that she'll use. It doesn't get more obvious than in this line - not only for this episode but in whole since this scene is a forshadowing of both her death and resurrection (I think there's the clock sound at the 20 minute mark?):

IF Max lives (Yes & Yes), she will SEE another day (Yes and logically Yes again! + "In your hand/s the birth of a new day"). And Lucas & Erica will get her some help as Max demanded "Let me see" via the 8. (which is btw the shape of the binoculars too)

El will be Max's eyes. Yes, I agree. Literally. This scene here is meant literal. You remember Phineas Gage? No? Go watch the scene. 😉

I'll talk about Gage in another post but there's a case of a woman that was blind after an accident. She was diagnosed with brain damage ; you know the thing Max doesn't believe is a thing...and she's right in her case. That woman wasn't blind, it was a misdiagnosis as it turned out many years later. The woman had something else... similar to Gage's symptoms but the correct diagnosis wasn't brain damage.

Max is blind...but she isn't at all. Because she'll consume. The silver cat feeds. Abilities. Memories.

The Talisman which Lucas reads from passage refers directly to Speedy. Speedy Parker whose alternate version, Parkus is a gunslinger, a knight. There's a third character with the name of Snowball (Seriously!) a blind musician who, although never directly confirmed, the protagonist of The Talisman, Jack, identifies as Speedy Parker. Snowball is extremely good in identifying other people himself even though he "can't see" - but if he is indeed Speedy, how can he be blind and be able to see at the same time? The Talisman - a healing object like the Grail - doesn't answer this oddity, it can be interpreted as a case of multiple identities/versions. However it is obvious why the Duffers chose this reference: Max is "Speedy" and therefore Snowball. That's why the "Snowball" happened. Blind yet not blind at all.

Plus: El literally removes blindness where he blinds the kids.

Oh, and about that brain thing...wait for a space walk that's been foreshadowed too when Max is introduced to the class.

[skye707]

what are the guys guilty pleasures?

Uh oh.

These guys don't consider many things "guilty pleasures", so here we go.

Unburied - Sweets. You may be thinking, "Skye, that's not really a guilty pleasure, though". Inherently, you're correct. There's nothing wrong with enjoying your favorite sweet treat. However, if allowed, he would eat candy and only candy for the rest of his life. And I think we can all agree that wouldn't end well.

ZY - Porn would just be a cop out (and he's not guilty about it), so a guilty pleasure of his would probably be his love of girlboss music. He loves Selena, but he also loves Ariana Grande, Rhianna, Pat Benatar, he's got it all. And his prized possession? An original copy of Fergie's album The Dutchess.

Dano - Nothing he does is a guilty pleasure. He deserves the world and more.

No, haha, his guilty pleasure is reading fanfic about himself.

YJ - So, we all already know the answer to this one. It's his boybands. Like, yes he listens to Backstreet Boys and such. But it's deeper than that. How deep? How many concerts has he been to? Only he knows.

Gotham - Ghost shows. He is fascinated by the idea that there is something more, something intangible out there. But he's already the "weird nerd", so he won't be disclosing that information.

BTAA - He goes online and bids on ridiculously expensive and old pieces of outdated tech and equipment. The first Zeiss microscope, IBM's first motherboard, the stuff he has is what's really insane. He justifies it by saying that he may need it for something one day, but it's really just so he can say he has it.

Arkham - When he is alone, he enjoys reading novels from the extremely specific genre of romantic science fiction. He loves the whimsy and fantasy of futuristic tech combined with the passion of romance. And it gives him great ideas for his next projects.

BTAS - He has a collection of expensive watches. It started with one of his first jewelry store robberies. The first watch was calling his name, and it was all downhill from there.

Telltale - I firmly believe that this Riddler has a green thumb. He loves to keep potted plants. He's got a little spritzer. He talks to them to help them (and him) grow. Literally though, do not tell anyone.

[cluster-b-culture-is]

hey!!! if its ok i’d like you’re thoughts on something ig and to sorta ask you something

so im bodily 15 atm, and i have cptsd. when i look at posts regarding certain cluster b experiences (possibly some cluster c aswell) i relate a LOT (obviously im not saying that bc i relate that i have these disorders, i just kinda have a feeling that *something* is going on). its tricky bc i keep looking into things and i cant really find an answer. i also dont know if im too young and that its just because im a teenager.

i wont get into like what “symptoms” i experience rn bc i feel like thats a whole other conversation but yeah.

i hope i dont sound like one of those people that are like “i must have x bc i related to a silly video i saw” im just really confused and i feel like something aint right

i know you’re probably not professionals so feel free to delete or ignore this if its too much, but if not, what do you think?

So, here's the thing (and we will attempt to avoid being patronizing): It is absolutely correct that your age and emotional/psychological development can affect things, and that the process of development can cause things that look like mild symptoms. It's also correct that that combined with c-ptsd (and any other disorders you may have; you'd be surprised how many symptoms and comorbidities autism, ADHD, NPD, and BPD all share) can make it extremely hard to determine where your symptoms are coming from and whether there might be something more.

(You're also correct that we are not professionals; this is all coming from our own research and personal experiences, so as with everything, take this with a grain of salt.)

However. I would argue that it would be far more harmful to deny any possibility of having a personality disorder until you reach some arbitrary age threshold than it would be to say that you do have a PD. Especially if looking at your life experiences through the lens of having a PD is helpful, and if resources for pw/[x]PDs are helpful to you. Even if you don't end up having a PD, that doesn't mean you were just a hormonal stupid teenager refusing to listen to the Adults™ or whatever the fuck--it means that you looked at your experiences, found something that seemed similar, and it turned out that you were wrong; but hopefully, along the way, you found things that were helpful.

Under the assumption that you have done a lot of research, I would personally recommend saying that you have traits of a particular disorder as opposed to saying you have the full disorder, and that is to two ends: one, a lot of adults with PDs (especially in ASPD spaces, if that's one of the disorders you're looking at) will kick your shit to hell and back if you even insinuate that you think you may have the full disorder (which I think is extremely counterintuitive if we want teenagers to understand their experiences and, yknow, not develop a full-blown personality disorder, regardless of whether you think teenagers can have a full personality disorder); and two, it might help you target the specific symptoms that you're experiencing without saddling you with the belief[/knowledge] that you have an incredibly stigmatized and lifelong disorder.

A lot of this stuff depends on a few things: (A) what your symptoms are (and if they can be better explained by other things, especially other things you know you have); (B) how severe your symptoms are (like the difference between being generally grouchy versus being actively hostile); and (C) how long your symptoms have lasted (if they only started popping up in the past few months or the past year versus if you've had them for years and years).

If you end up not having a personality disorder, anon, I think it will still be better for you in the long run to explore the possibility instead of shrugging it off under the excuse that you're "too young". It could turn out that you never had the disorder and it really was something else, it could turn out that you have traits but not the full disorder, or, hell, it could turn out that, by using resources and support you found by being part of communities surrounding PDs, you ended up not developing the full PD (even if you may still have a few traits)--because, at this age, you are still developing, and you are changing a lot, and very little is set in stone when it comes to these types of things--and you should absolutely take advantage of that! And even then, speaking from a more selfish perspective, it will never be a bad thing for more people to understand what it may be like to have a personality disorder.

For a bit of actionable advice on determining whether or not you may have one, though:

(1) Do your research. Obviously it's great that you're getting information from people with the disorders themselves by looking at PD communities; however, not everything having to do with the disorder will be talked about, and quite honestly, Tumblr is a terrible place to find definitive information on the PDs. Life experience? Yes. Actual information looking at how the disorders work and what they can entail in full? Ehhh, not quite. Look at a variety of academic sources, but in the same vein, keep your wits about you--professionals aren't immune to ableism, and may often perpetuate it with glee. Some of it may be obvious, some of it might not be.

(2) Keep an eye on your symptoms--make a manual check against the actual criteria every once in a while (but keep in mind that the DSM is also deeply flawed and biased); @shitborderlinesdo has a ton of checklists based on the DSM and individual testimony that can help. We first started questioning ASPD when we were 14, and we'd do those kinds of manual checks once every several months or once a year or so. It both helps you understand what your symptoms are, and helps you keep track of how you're doing over time. Don't use online quizzes for this; quite honestly, they're not really good for anything except validation if you know you'll get a high score.

(3) Look at stuff other than personality disorders, too, and try to figure out why your interest skews towards specific disorders. For a long ass time, we believed we had StPD and did our absolute best to ignore any information to the contrary, because (due to our symptoms) if it wasn't StPD, the only thing it could be otherwise was schizophrenia, and we were scared shitless of the idea; at first because we were scared of the idea that our symptoms might've been so severe, but eventually because we were afraid to admit that we were wrong. (As I've said before, no shame in being wrong--do as I say, not as I do.)

Ultimately, I can't stop you from doing anything, and I can't force you to do anything either. I'm just a mentally ill guy with an internet connection. My life experiences have led me to this conclusion, and others may disagree with it--that's perfectly fine. Again, I am not a professional. You know yourself and your experiences the best, and I think by this point, you have enough understanding of yourself and the world to be able to figure out what'll be best for you and your health, given that you have the proper resources to do so. You are a being with life experience, even if it's less than others may have; you aren't a rock, and you aren't a three year old who still hasn't realized that touching the lit stove will equal a burned finger. I personally think that the way a lot of folks go about talking to and about teenagers who think they may have personality disorders is, frankly, infantilizing and invalidating, and it just ends up with traumatized and unsupported teenagers turning into traumatized and unsupported adults, with the added bonus of an extra helping of imposter syndrome to top it all off.

I hope you're doing well anon, and I hope you see this (sorry for responding so late lmao). Off into the world ye may go, hopefully with a bit more knowledge and idea of what to do next than you had before.