#however still amusing
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violent138 · 1 year ago
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League members discussing meeting Robin at work:
"Compared to Bats, Robin was a total sweetheart. Ball of sunshine."
"Man, must've been a good day then, the kid I met was a real anklebiter. He pulled out a sword and everything."
"Anklebiter is harsh, the sweet boy I met barely said a word, he just kept asking about Themyscira and the lasso."
"He? I met a blonde girl."
"No, no, black haired boy with blue eyes. We're talking about Robin."
"Yeah same here, blue eyed and tanned."
"Pretty sure he had green eyes. And talked fancy. And kind of scolded me for time travelling."
"The child I met was paler than the moon."
"I'm telling you I met a girl, and she was Robin."
"Well... either we're all wrong or we're all right."
So they arrive at the conclusion that Bats has a shape-shifter for a kid.
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biblically-accurate-dca · 2 years ago
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I will beg, or even draw something for you if it means you post those other pony sun versions.. please, it would make my year, I need to devour them
i deleted the 2nd one 😭
BUT !!! i still have the 3rd one !!
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zestyzigzagoon · 7 days ago
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I have a new little icon that I love very much. not only does it have beta design zigzagoon (the best zigzagoon), but there's a LEMON pattern. because it's ZESTY. get it. lemon zest,,,, zestyzigzagoon... 🥁
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#i've got a free art program and access to PNGs and a dream ✨ perhaps it's giving 'graphic design is my passion' but that is okay!#and I do know that lemons have a ~connotation~ in fic communities (not as much these days? haven't seen the citrus scale in a while)#but honestly that only amuses me further lol.#I like my zesty little pfp 😌it's always nice to customize things like that and to make it feel YOURS.#I want to mess with my tumblr theme more too. I know it doesn't really matter but I've always liked having a cohesive feeling to it.#I like customizing my digital spaces just as much as my physical ones honestly.#I'm busy for the rest of today but maybe later I'll mess with my tumblr theme. I'll match the teal/lemons/zesty vibe.#I like the dark red and the roses but honestly that's a lot more refined than I am lol. I connect more with the light and airy colors.#I'll still have roses involved somewhere on the actual web theme though.#and I might add a thin border around the outer edge of the pfp too because the white just kind of fades into everything.#sorry. literally none of this is writing related. once again misusing my writing blog but it is my blog and I shall chat however I please.#follow for writing updates or because we're mutuals. stay for the off topic nonsense and random horse related Chasing Sunsets content✨#ooooh that reminds me though. i am coming along with the next few chapters!#I'm working on several concurrently and it's going well! I've got a few chapter titles decided and some key scenes in the works :)#stuff I've had planned out for a looooooooong time. finally getting around to some very fun things soon!#it might not end up being chapter 13 by the time we get to it but I am excited for what is currently planned for 13.#might be closer to 15 depending. but I thiiiiiiiink we should get there sooner rather than later.
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who-is-page · 8 months ago
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do you allow anti-endos in your community/group 'Alterhuman Community'? asking out of concern for other members of that group, because one of the members who made an intro [paruf1shh] is quite anti-endo. the first post i saw on their account after the pinned post was a reblog of a post saying that endogenic systems are not real, and they had it tagged "I HATE ENDOS" and i worry they may go out of their way to harass other members of the community/group.
I had hoped that the blurb about inclusivity and our own presence as admins (as a system who predates "-genic" terms and who find the attempts to proselytize around trauma-related "-genic" terms enormously tiring) would be enough to ward off such folks, but I suppose not everything in life can be a win.
After checking his blogs briefly myself, I've removed that individual from the group and permanently banned him from rejoining. We do not allow anti-endos, no.
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spaced-out-muses · 6 months ago
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((I'm sorry I CANNOT take Akechi's thief fit seriously. The prince charming suit? With the mask that would prolly poke someone's eye out?? Sir did you just google "characters that follow the hero's journey?" you look like a doofus))
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pavlikbuonarroti · 4 months ago
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doing a CPD thing on decontamination and it's rly funny to me how it specifically notes that in wales scotland & NI it's REQUIRED to use a washer disinfector. they said the anglos are nastyyyyyyyyyy.
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icewindandboringhorror · 2 years ago
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youtube
this is not the exact one I watched but I saw one of these "dish scape" things at someone's house who actually has TV (like they pay for dish/cable instead of just watching stuff online) and I think they're meant to be relaxing atmospheric stuff that you mostly ignore, but I sat there for 35 minutes watching absolutely engrossed.. further proof that I genuinely think my brain is incapable of experiencing boredom lol..
#IT'S BECAUSE there's so many little details that like you can spend minutes just scanning every corner of the image and taking it all in and#you keep finding new things! like 'oh I didn't know that blade of grass moved!' or 'I didnt see that bucket before!'. And then on top of#so many details - some things genuinely do change. The one I saw was a Beach house scene and sometimes a bird would fly by or ONE TIME kite#came out of nowhere. a sandcastle built and unbuilt itself. there's a firepit and it comes on when the sky changes from day to afternoon!!#this is like watching a sports game to me. I need weird detail oriented friends who will sit for 20 minutes staring at a barely moving pict#ure & cheer and clap with me when a seagull flies across the screen ghgj.. THERE HE IS!!!! etc!! and there's just so much to think about!!#Like how the images are layered or animated and the choices that were made (like I think the sunrise and sunset sky background images for t#e beachouse are just the same picture flipped and recolored) and trying to predict what's going to happen next (will the lights in the hous#turn off for night time? will another bird show up??) etc! I even got up at one point to walk close to the screen and get a better view of#hese paintings that were visible through the beachhouse windows. and then thinking about building a similar home in the sims! OR ALSO THIS#WOULD BE SUCH A COOL medium I think to tell a story! Like you upload a video to youtube that is framed just as a completely average moving#screensaver ambiance type of thing. It's like 7 hours long and mostly loops the same still image. However. over time at certain points you#can see some thing happen like watching characters interact through the windows. animals or people walk across the screen. certain elements#in the environment morph or change. etc. In such a way that an entire like plot is conveyed. maybe like fantasy mystery sort of thing. I WI#SH I could do this style of art / had friends who could or had money to pay somebody to. I would LOVE to collaborate on a weird surreal#It's Just Your Average Slowly Looping Moving Screensaver Video I Promise' type story.. jjhhgHH.. Or even just making one of these set in so#me of my fantasy world environments. not as a secret thing with easter eggs that tell a story but just literally an image like this tha#moves over time and etc. HHRRGRGHhhhhGG.. ANYWay!! I had to actually turn it off not because I was bored but because it was distracting me#. which is funny since again. I think for most people it's meant to be a 'just leave it on in the background' type of thing that's bland an#neutral . But it was just making me think too much ghjgh.. This is why I can't go to amusement parks or nightclubs bars or concerts like..#a moving screensaver image is too overstimulating to my brain. Could you imagine me going to an environment just full of sensory informatio#like loud noises poeple talking flashing lights etc. etc. ? hghghb... Visiting a grocery store at a slightly busy hour is like my upper lim#it... Anyway.. everything is just so interesting to me. Even if I was locked in a room alone I would have plenty to think about & amu#se myself. I am also a hater definitely like I'm a very analytical person who is critical of society and systems & everything that exists#and even generally am just very opionated and have distinct preferences - so just because everything is INTERESTING does not mean I LIKE or#enjoy everything or never get tired of/annoyed by situations or ideas or etc. But it's more just like.. I literally dont think I could ever#be bored because of the way my brain works and also I approach life with elements of childlike whimsy and constant obsessive curiosity and#attention to detail. so as much as I am an analytical bore I also love everything and the world is fascinating at all times. lol.. duality#of man. if you get it then you get it. ANYWAY.. wanted to ramble abt it. I don't like the above video as much as the one I actually saw but#I couldn't find the beach one online.. BUt.. aaHH! best viewed whilst talking to yourself narrating/cheering! ALSO I want to make one!!!
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ice-sculptures · 1 year ago
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my experience with trying to come out to my straight as hell friend is so fucking funny bc i keep trying to hint to her that i like Women but every single thing i say to her (for example: "i don't find any of the guys at our uni attractive" "i feel like i've stopped being attracted to men" "i don't think i'm ever going to get a boyfriend") ends up being taken as a Straight Woman 'I Hate Men' solidarity thing instead of an I Am Gay thing. and tbh i think it's a goddamn crime that i'm an actual person and not a sitcom character where i get to look at the camera every time this happens 😔
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violent138 · 1 year ago
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HC that Bruce often looks to Alfred for support while he's chewing out one of his kids for something stupid and the butler just shrugs and goes, "Nothing worse than what you were up to at that age, Master Bruce."
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bloobluebloo · 2 years ago
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Honestly, I can respect the design choice of "I did it bc I was horny." Doesn't mean it's a good design, or that I need to like it, but at least it's honest, and doesn't try to weasel out dumb reasons to make it seem more "logical". "I was horny" > "Uhh it's bc they need to steele their bodies, and they do that by being scantily clad..."
I mean to be fairly honest the design of the Gerudo is "because its horny". They were meant to come off as alluring in their original depiction, taking Hylian men as boyfriends, and the whole "alluring mysterious desert woman protected by a gruff barbaric man" is a staple of Orientalist depictions. I think they were pretty blatant about their inspiration there; Nintendo hasn't tried to make any justification for that design choice.
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maddisandy · 2 years ago
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everyone has some pretty reasonable dynamics and then there's soleil and gale
#plum charas#detailing in tags#soleil and astarion consider each other partners and equals beyond just lovers#but i went by the chart for this one rather than changing things for them#soleil did find amusement in gales nerdy flirting and thought it was cute but when given an ultimatum he chose astarion#gale got very upset about tav and astarion dating in my game after flirting with them constantly#so for a short period of time things were kind of awkward between them#but now they consider each other like close family friends (gale still likes soleil but respects their feelings)#halsin and soleil consider each other friends. both are attracted to each other but halsin moreso than soleil#jaheira and soleil consider each other friends but they didn't bomd as much as everyone who was around earlier (esp origin charas)#still they hold each other both in high regards and respect for each other#karlach and wyll both are very good friends to soleil. however i found them late in act 1 (i didn't know where to find them before) and by#then i already had much more relationship built with the party i was running with (shadowheart laezel and swapping gale and astarion#depending on the fight and if i need another spellcaster or a mobile melee)#plus i had kitted laezel to be my tank and soleil is already a warlock so i really didnt have them in my party except to do their personal#quests#but i still got pretty high approvals from them so theyre still very good friends#karlach went to avernus with wyll in my playthrough so i like to think every once and awhile the pop back up on the prime material for a hi#and vice versa with soleil and astarion finding a way to avernus to say hello#soleil also had a small puppy love crush on wyll but it was mostly attraction since they didn't persue anything#laezel and shadowheart are both very best friends with soleil and laezel still keeps in contact using the rary bond ring#both liked soleil in early game but soleil admitted they were nblm so they weren't interested back#laezel still feels admiration for them as a leader and helping in freeing orpheus and aiding laezel however they can against vlakith but#doesnt oersue for obvious reasons. shadowheart just overcame her feelings and treasures their friendship more#and sorry to minthara but i killed her. whoops#over all i like to think everyone (especially the origin charas) (minus minthara ofc) meet up regularly for reunions at whoevers home to#catch up and be together and very found family vibes. plus with the rary bond ring they can still talk whenever theyd like anyways#because im a sucker for found family#i also have my headcanons for everyone dynamics together outside of tav but. for another time#soleil fennuith
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sepiasys · 2 months ago
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Going to work anxious. Naturally, pulled the "I dont wanna be here, I CANT be here" card
And do you want to know what happened?
👑. Or 👁️🪽. It does not matter. I do not care
How funny it is to stumble upon a new pattern :) (/s?)
But one cannot socialize as such shortly before work.
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ohmy-gojo · 1 month ago
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its lunch break when nanami receives the mugshots of his 3 year old daughter.
as he was eating the delicious bento you made for him, he saw his phone ping with the special notification sound he set for you. instinctively bringing a smile on his face since he was just thinking about you (when was he not)
he thought you sent him the daily random i love yous you always send or pics of you dressing up you guys' daughter in animal onesies (both of which never fails to fill his heart with warmth and turn him into a mushy mess)
however, the thing he didn't expect was mugshots of his little daughter
and oh it was a mugshot alright, with the monochrome filter, her holding her slate which read 'female, 3"11' and looking adorably guilty. there were total 3 photos taken from different angles too. captioned 'guilty'
the oddity of the.. situation made him laugh. whatever could his 3 year old daughter, who cant go to sleep without her papa tucking her in and who wouldnt stop crying when hurt unless her papa kissed her boo-boo, do to deserve this treatment?
he texted, why are you holding my princess in remand?
shes found guilty of eating the chocolates i planned on adding to the cake for dinner tonight. you replied
he chuckled. do you have any proof? surely, my daughter wouldn't do it.
i have proof! with that, you sent him a picture of a chocolate which had a bite mark of a certain 3 year old
see? your daughter is guilty and will be facing charges soon, unless you bail her out. you replied
he raised his eyebrow. how?
by bringing a new cake from the downtown bakery of course. i also could use some of their other sweet treats :D
he let out a snort. is that so? im starting to think this is all just a plan of yours to bag those sweets by using my princess.
he saw the bubbles going on and off for some time and smirked. he got you there
careful now, i could still imprison her for life. the choice is yours )):<
he huffed. you are impossible, he thought amused
alright, you will get what you want. so i expect my daughter to be released.
scarcely after a minute, he received a selfie of you both smiling innocently as if nothing happened done. we will be waiting! love you<3
he let out another chuckle. you both sure do manage to light up his life. he lovingly smiled at the picture you sent him, eyes full of affection. love you both too❤️
well, looks like he will be paying a visit to the bakery, after all he cant just let his daughter be jailed.
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hellokittyish · 6 months ago
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★ thinking about how toji cleans you up after sex — not with the traditional combination of soap and water, but with his tongue. naturally.
the first time it happens, when you collapse against the mattress after countless rounds of intense passion, body aching in every possible crevice and mind hazy with the clouds of leftover pleasure, the last thing you expect is to feel straggly strands of black hair tickling your thighs.
“mmm… toji, what are y’doing?” you murmur tiredly, eyelids droopy as as you gaze down at where he’s currently trailing several lazy, open-mouthed kisses up the skin of your quivering thighs.
“what does it look like, baby?” he rumbles airily between warm brushes of his scarred lips, dark eyes flickering up to meet yours with a hint of amusement glinting in his irises. “gonna clean you up real good.”
“but… ‘m still sensitive there, can’t you just use a damp cloth or something?” you begin to protest, however your words quickly trail off into incoherency once you feel him place a smooch directly upon your abused cunt.
“no can do, pretty,” he huffs lightly, trailing a pudgy thumb down your puffy folds to where his milky cum is still slowly trickling out of your little hole. “i made the mess so i’m gonna be the one who cleans it up.”
“but—”
“no more buts,” toji admonishes with a click of his tongue, wrapping a strong arm around your stomach to keep you in place while he blows a soft, teasing puff of air over your fluttering pussy. “now be quiet and let me do my job.”
…well, when he puts it like that you can’t really think of any sane reason to argue further.
but despite how rough he was just mere moments ago while he was ruthlessly pounding you into the bed, the way he scoops his own sticky release out of you with the tip of his tongue is anything but rough — in fact, it could even be described as gentle.
he’ll keep eye contact with you the entire time too, both pools of greyish-blue locked directly on your own with each drag of his bumpy tastebuds throughout your spongy, hypersensitive walls.
and when he finally deems his work satisfactory and pulls you into his bulky yet tender embrace, you decide maybe toji’s method of cleaning you up isn’t so bad after all.
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ranoutofficssoiwritemyown · 7 months ago
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You decide to sleep on the couch after an argument
love and deepspace
characters: Zayne, Sylus (pt2 here pt3 here)
note: they might be a little mischaracterized so bear with me.
Zayne
Usually, arguments with Zayne don’t get this heated. There was no yelling, not on his part at least, but he could be really cold with his words when he wanted to be. Not that you were any better. Some things you said hurt him to no end. So you came up with a decision - to sleep on a couch tonight. To be honest, it was more because to be petty, than not wanting to spend a night beside him. You gathered your pillow and blanket and got comfortable on the couch, which made Zayne sigh out loud when he entered the room.
“What is this?”
You turned your back to him as an answer. Another sigh comes out of his mouth. He’s exhausted, physically and emotionally, and you acting like a brat doesn’t ease anything at all.
“I know you’re mad, dear but is this necessary?”
No answer.
“Alright”
He left the room and before you could convince yourself that you didn’t care he was back with a blanket of his own and took a seat in an armchair. You turn your head towards him in confusion.
“What are you doing?”
“I guess we’re not sleeping in bed tonight”
“I’m not. You can go”
“I believe I didn’t stutter”
You scoffed and turned around again.
“suit yourself”
Minutes pass and sleep doesn’t come to you. Whether it’s because of an uncomfortable couch or an absence of his arms around you is hard to say, but after turning around thousands of times and still not being able to sleep is frustrating.
Finally, Zayne had enough of watching your struggle.
“How about we go to bed?”
“No” came your response after a second of hesitation. With a small amused smile on his face, he hovered over the couch.
“What do you say… I take you to bed and you can curse me out for it tomorrow?”
You shifted a little but didn’t answer, which made his smile widen. He gathered you in his arms and your lack of objection was all he needed to take you to your room and tucking you in bed. Even though you seemed to warm up he didn’t know how far he could push you, so kneeling beside the bed to be on your eye level he started:
“If you still need space I can-”
“Stay”
He smiled at you tucking your hair behind your ear.
“Okay”
He got up and kissed your forehead before slipping in beside you and pulling you closer.
"I'm sorry..." you mutter
"Shh, we'll talk about it tomorrow... but I'm sorry too"
You smile a little. You two will sort this out tomorrow.
Sylus
What Sylus says, goes around. His word is the law. This is what he’s used to. That's how it's always been.
Then you came into his life and even though he’s still in charge of how things go in the N109 zone, you just need to say the word and everything will be how you like it. No questions, no hesitation. He would give you the world if you so much as whispered the need. Whatever you want, whatever you need, he will make it happen.
Unless, when it comes to your safety. Now don’t get me wrong. Sylus knows you can defend yourself and then some. But when it comes to the N109 zone, there are things Sylus knows better than you. Additionally, The fact that you can be reckless in your battles does nothing to help ease his worries.
That was the reason for the heated argument tonight. Sylus with his harsh words and snarky remarks always finds a way to infuriate you. So you two go on and on for half an hour now and none of you seems to back down. You storm off to your room and take your things to get comfortable on the couch. However, on your way out Sylus blocks your way. He raises an eyebrow at the blanket and pillow in your arms.
“Now, what exactly do you think you are doing, sweetie?”
“move”
“I asked you a question”
“I’m not sleeping beside you- Sylus” you exclaim as he hoists you over his shoulder. you punch and scratch his back but to no avail.
“Careful with your claws, kitten”
He drops you on the bed climbing over you.
“Now listen, this is what will happen. You will stop acting like a wild kitten and sleep beside me. I am sorry for hurting you but we will discuss it tomorrow, when we are both a lot calmer. Understood?”
You don’t want to give in so easily. You also don’t want to sleep without him tonight. So you nod avoiding eye contact. He, however, doesn’t accept it and raises your chin with his finger to make you look at him.
“Use your words, sweetie”
“Yes”
“Splendid” He removed himself from you so you could get under the blanket. He laid beside you and pulled you closer so your head was resting on his chest.
"Sy... I'm sorry too"
"So I'm Sy now?"
This man.
"Nevermind, you're still a prick"
You try to remove his arm but he holds you tighter as he laughs.
"Alright, alright. I'm sorry, sweetie"
You felt him kiss the crown of your head as he caressed your shoulder with his thumb. you return to your previous position and listening to his heartbeat, sleep lured you in soon enough.
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stellamarielu · 2 months ago
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on the job
joel miller x female reader
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summary: you and joel are forced to work together, but neither of you can get past the others stubborn attitude or contractor!joel and interior designer!reader fuck in a walk-in closet
content: nsfw, 18+ mdni, pre outbreak!joel, he’s kind of a huge asshole sorry, teasing, degradation, dirty talk, slightly dubcon, fingering, use of nicknames such as princess sweetheart and good girl, finger sucking, unprotected p in v sex, rough sex, sex against a wall, kinda public sex bc it’s on a job site?? pull out game strong with this one
author’s note: based on this lovely request. i made joel a little mean bc it felt right but at the end of the day he will forever be babygirl. also, i know very little about both of these professions so i apologize for any inaccuracies in that department
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You liked to think that you were easy to work with, always polite and mindful— pleasant even.
You mostly kept to yourself, especially when you were working on a project alongside others, however, not everyone shared your cooperative mindset.
In fact, you had worked with a multitude of assholes. Men who thought they held some kind of power over you, who flourished under the opportunity to demean and mock your job like theirs was more important, but none of them even held a candle to Joel Miller.
Your paths crossed when you were hired by a pretentious, middle-aged woman in Austin to help design the interior of her new home— a home that was still under construction.
To make yourself familiar with the layout, you visited the site multiple times in the weeks before construction was scheduled to finish.
It was always an easy and uneventful trip. You greeted the workers, took a few pictures, wrote down some dimensions and then you were gone in twenty minutes tops; but that all changed the day you met Joel. 
You waltzed into the house, waving to one of the men you had come to know from your previous visits and then you heard it, a deep berating voice targeted directly at you.
“Who the hell are you and why are you on my site without a fuckin’ hard hat?”
You stopped in your tracks as you were met with an unknown face. 
“Uh sorry. I’m working on an interior design project for the Johnson’s. They told me I was welcome to come check out the space if I needed anything.” You didn’t know why, but your voice was coming out in compliance, the tone hushed. 
The way this man approached you was incredibly entitled and unabashedly rude.
Normally you wouldn’t let some asshole like this get within two feet of you, let alone talk to you like that; but this guy had you questioning your morals for a split second. He was tall, and broad, and handsome. The southern drawl slipping from the smug curl of his lips and the flex of his biceps as his arms crossed over his chest, had your words stuttering.
“Well, until my job is finished, and the Johnson’s have the keys to their front door, I call the shots. And I don’t do well with unexpected visitors walkin’ around while my guys are trying to get work done.”
Your mouth nearly hung open at his words.
You’d barely said a word to him and he was coming at you with a disgustingly brash and assertive attitude. What the hell was his deal?
“Okay...” The word was drawn-out as it fell from your lips in annoyance.
“Well, it’s kind of funny, because this is probably the fifth time I’ve been here, and none of your guys seem to give a rats ass, so how about you let me do my job and I’ll let you do yours.” 
Finally, you had gotten past the stranger’s criminally good looks and stuck to your guns.
There was no way in hell you were going to let him reprimand you for doing your job. Afterall, you had every right to be here. 
“Yeah well, my guys will let you do whatever you want when you’re prancin’ around here in tight little dresses and high heels. You think they’re just bein’ nice for the hell of it?” 
His irritation was masked by amusement as he looked you up and down, dramatically raking his eyes over your body. 
“I don’t know who you think you are, but I’d really appreciate it if you could just drop the attitude and keep things professional.” The quality of your voice was stern, juxtaposing the way his eyes on your body had you suddenly feeling a rush of heat throughout your chest.
Anger.
The warmth was an angry fervor, definitely not one of lust or temptation. It was a burning irritation for the man standing in front of you, not a curious warmth for how his eyes clung to every curve of your body, taking his time drinking in any exposed skin.
His smile widened as he watched you falter under his stare. “I’ll drop my attitude when you drop yours sweetheart.”
“Listen, Mr-“
“Miller. Joel Miller.”
“Okay, Mr. Joel Miller. I have work to do, so I’m just going to walk past you, take a few notes and I’ll be out of your hair. Deal?” 
“Fine. But if I see you back here again you better be wearin’ a hard hat. Don’t need any trouble because you trip and hit your pretty little head.” He let his eyes wander down your body once more, his voice full of sarcasm.
“Yeah yeah, got it boss.” You scoffed as you pushed past his broad frame. You didn’t turn to look back, but you could practically feel his eyes burning into you as you swayed into the entry way, hoping it was the last time you’d ever have to speak to him.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t.
You ran into Joel a few more times, each meeting more infuriating and demeaning than the last. He always had a smart comment on his tongue or a mocking intention in his voice. 
Joel Miller had quickly become the bane of your existence; yet, for some reason there was a part of you, deep down, that always hoped to run into him when you went to scout out a new project for the house.   
Maybe because he was undeniably handsome, always walking around with a charming smirk on his lips and a devious glint in his big brown eyes. It was almost as if he were challenging you— seeing how far he could push you before you snapped. 
He continued to test your patience as you now stood in the giant walk-in closet off the primary bedroom.
You were trying to establish a color scheme sophisticated enough to fit Miss Johnson’s impossible to please pallet while Joel was making unnecessarily loud noises across the room.
He was far from graceful, the slamming and pounding of tools was all you could hear as he worked on one of the many intricate shoe shelves on the wall.
“I thought this side of the house was done.” You were speaking without looking in his direction, your eyes following the paint swatches on the wall. 
“Was.” Joel’s voice was gruff as he continued working.
“Until the queen decided she needed more storage for all her designer shit.” He was chuckling at his own words, side eyeing you from his spot kneeling on the floor. 
“You are genuinely the most unprofessional person I’ve ever met.” You dismissed his rude comment about the woman you were both employed by.
“That right?”
You refused to look at him, but you could hear the delight in his voice. 
“Absolutely.” Your response was curt, a quick and straight-forward delivery.
“Good.”
As if you couldn’t hate him more, the word leaving his lips had you turning your head sharply in his direction, an appalled expression plastered across your face. 
“God you get on my last nerve.”
“That right?” Again, his lips tugged into a smirk as he looked at you. 
You raised your brows in annoyance with a single nod of your head at his question.
“Good.” His voice was taunting as he watched you shake your head in frustration. 
You brought your eyes back to the wall in front of you, not giving Joel another second of your attention.
After a few seconds of silence his deep voice broke into the room. “You know, if you weren’t so uptight, maybe I’d ask you out for a drink sometime.” 
It took you a minute to register his words. Was he implying that he wanted to ask you on a date while insulting you at the same time? What a fucked-up, backhanded compliment; one that had your chest stirring with warmth.
“Well, I guess it’s too bad I’m such an high-strung bitch then.” Sarcasm dripped from your words as you kept your eyes trained ahead, your head spinning from Joel’s implicit interest. 
“I doubt you’d last one minute in the bar I’d take you to anyway.”
His comment had your head snapping back again. This time his eyes were already on you, waiting to see a reaction. 
“And why’s that?” Your voice cut through the room at his assumption. 
“Because it’s not exactly a five star establishment, and I think you’re just like all these pretentious fucks you work for.” He raised an eyebrow at you before turning back to the shelf in front of him, tending to a few finishing touches. 
“Always so put together, walking around here with your shoulders high.” He was nonchalant as he criticized you, hands busy taking measurements, not even paying an ounce of attention to the dirty look you were currently shooting at him from the other side of the room. 
“You think you’re better than everyone, but you’re just another pretty face with an overblown ego.”
There it was. The final blow that had your body tensing with anger.
You couldn’t believe that just a few seconds ago you were letting him flatter you, swooning under the smallest inkling of positivity he threw your way.
He was the worst kind of guy, the kind that built you up just to tear you down. The kind that wanted to make you feel worse about yourself so you would go running to him for a semblance of positive reinforcement.
Joel Miller liked the chase— thrived off being such a douchebag that women somehow ended up falling on their knees for him. But you, you weren’t going to be that woman. 
“Me? Talk about a massive-fucking-ego, take a look in the mirror Miller. You’re the one always making sure I know my place around here, acting like a fucking sociopath. It’s like you get off on being an asshole.”
He stopped what he was doing and looked directly at you, his expression unreadable, like your cruel words caused a switch in him to flip. 
“Maybe I do.”
“What?”
“Maybe I like gettin’ under your skin, watchin’ you get all flustered.” He spoke slowly, setting down his materials and standing to his feet.
“Think it’s kinda cute. You’re always tryin’ to act all big and bad, but I know I make you nervous. I can see it in the way you look at me.” He didn’t move, the smirk on his face causing your eyebrows to furrow in irritation. 
You crossed your arms over your chest, standing strong on your opinion that Joel was the world’s biggest asshole. You wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of letting his words get to you.
“You can stop wherever you’re going with this. I’m not here to play your little bullshit games, I’m here to do a job and get paid.”
“Who says you can’t have a little fun on the job?” His voice was laced with a deep seriousness as he set his tools down on one of the many shelves adorning the walls. You watched him over your shoulder but kept your back turned, your body still facing the wall.
“Turn around.” The command left his lips and you wanted to laugh at his attempt of authority but the sincerity in his voice stopped you in your tracks. 
“What? No-“
“C’mon sweetheart, I think we both know you like bein’ told what to do.” His voice cut you off, the signature smirk on his lips sending a buzz straight to your head.
You didn’t mean to, or maybe you did, but your body turned to face him, watching intently as he continued speaking. His broad frame emphatic as he stood across from you.
“I bet you like it, having someone boss you around. Makes you feel a little inferior.”
As the words left his lips he began walking toward you.
It was a casual stroll, not intense or threatening, yet you felt your pulse racing and your posture slumping at his advances.
“Oh please. You need a reality check Joel.” 
“Wanna give it to me princess?”
You kept the appearance of control as he continued moving forward, but internally you were fighting feelings of complete disarray.
You wanted to be offended— maybe even slap him across the face for his wildly inappropriate nickname and the implication of his words. But instead, you froze, his body now less than a foot away from yours and his words ringing in your ears. 
There was absolutely no denying the way his statement had your thighs clenching and your head spinning. Something in his delivery, smug and dirty with his eyes holding a perverted hunger and a promise of follow through, made you weak.
You kept your body from jolting when you felt the touch of his hand wrapping around your waist, finding purchase dangerously low on your back. 
“Bet you’ve never done anythin’ like this.” His voice was sturdy— rigid with power.
The weight of his hand was rough, his palm resting just above the curve of your ass. His touch was heavy yet temperate as he held you, softly pulling you’re your body further into his. 
“Lettin’ some guy you barely know put his hands all over you.”
You watched his eyes carefully, your lips parted but you couldn’t find any words to fill them. You weren’t sure if you wanted to tell him to stop or keep going. 
“Bet all the guys you hook up with are just as prim and proper as you. Can’t imagine that those dipshits graduating from UT with a business degree are fuckin’ you the right way.”
His other hand came to the small of your waist, the movement sending a faint gasp straight to your lips. Your reaction had Joel smirking, reinforcing his grip on your body.
“Probably don’t even know how to get you off.” 
“You’re disgusting.” Your voice was a whisper. The insult that you meant to hurl his way dissolved in a pitiful sigh at the way his fingertips were latching onto you.
“Am I? Bet you like that too.” This time he leaned in, causing his words to land directly in your ear, his breath warm on your neck.  
“Bet you want someone a little rough around the edges. Someone to fuck you real nice.” 
As he spoke, his fingers curled into your body. His grip on you constricting.
His frame pushed into yours, sending you shuffling backward until your back was met with the solid friction of the wall.
“Joel..” 
You were searching in your mind, trying to form an articulate sentence to explain why this was wrong; why you couldn’t be in this position with him.
But he had you trapped against the weight of his body— big and wide and rough.
Every single rational thought in your head dissipated, replaced by an instinctual need to have him fuck you against the wall of this ridiculously expensive closet.
He was right, you’d never done anything like this and the excitement of it— the risk, had your entire body burning with white-hot desire. 
“Tell me to stop and I will.” His hands were holding your hips, pressing you into the wall with his chest dangerously close to yours. 
“But I don’t think you want me to.” For a single second you could see an indication of honesty in his eyes as he looked you over, searching for any sign of distress on your face. And when he couldn’t find it, his stare narrowed and his hands held tighter, rotating your body in his grasp until your chest was pressed against the wall. 
“I think,” He leaned into you, your ass pushing against the bulge in his jeans as his hum landed on the skin right beneath your ear. 
“You want me to lift up this pretty little dress and fuck you nice and hard right here, against this wall.”
His hands found the hem of your dress, bringing it up just enough to bunch at your waist.
Your lower half was almost bare, the only clothing keeping your cunt from being fully exposed to him was the little black thong encasing the dripping mess that had now built up between your legs. It didn’t stop him from reaching between your bodies, pressing his thumb against your clothed entrance. 
“Fuck- you’re soaked princess.” The first word was a prolonged throaty groan, the rest of the sentence fumbling behind it. 
“How long you been thinkin’ bout this huh? Me touchin’ you, makin’ you beg for it.” He was having too much fun playing with you through your panties, his thumb threatening to dip into you even with the lace still covering your entrance.
He pushed against it, moving between your clothed folds and marveling at the wetness seeping through the material. 
“I’m not begging.” You managed to hiss out a response, turning your head to peer at him, your cheek nearly pressing against the wall. 
“Oh, so she’s always mouthy huh?” 
You watched the diabolical grin eat away at his face from the power trip of having you trapped under his weight.
You could talk-back all you wanted— be as bratty and uncooperative as possible, but it didn’t change the fact that he had you right where he wanted you. 
“Keep talkin’ baby, go on.” He innocently raised his brows at you, his voice taunting as the weight of his thumb danced between your legs.
“I Know you want this too. You act like you can’t stand me, but I see the way you look at me…” Your voice was quiet but strong as you held onto the last bit of composure you had left, using it to defy the man at your back.
You were trying your best not to lose your train of thought as you spoke. You wouldn’t give up the fight that easily, succumbing to his tempting words and lewd touches. You could tell Joel was used to getting his way and every muscle in your body ached to challenge him. 
“The way your eyes are glued to my ass every time I walk past you.” You glared over your shoulder as the words drifted off your lips in a gentle accusation. 
His dark chuckle filled the room as his eyes darted away from yours for a short second. Then his stare was back on you— more intense than before. The two of you watching each other, sitting in a pool of mutual revelation. 
You both knew it.
You knew since day one that there was a shared attraction, an unspoken sexual tension hidden behind rude words and unsavory exchanges.
What was happening now was just a detonation of built-up pressure that had been stewing for weeks; evident in the wetness at your core and the bulge in Joel’s jeans. 
“Anythin’ else you wanna say? Should probably get it all out before I have you all fucked-out on my cock.” His voice dropped to a low whisper as he hooked his thumb into your underwear, pulling the material to the side, not even bothering to take them off completely. 
A soft gasp slid from your lips at the cool air meeting your newly exposed center, the slick pooling at your entrance only adding to the airy sensation. 
“You’re so fucking arrogant.” 
The words barely left your lips when you felt his touch meet your core, his fingers spreading your arousal.
You had more to say to him, you wanted to tell him how annoying he was and how you had lost every ounce of decency by letting him talk to you this way, but the words were caught in your throat as he pushed two fingers into you. 
“Maybe I have good reason to be.” 
Your eyes were squeezed shut at the unexpected feeling of him filling you with his fingers, yet you could hear the smirk dripping in his voice.
“You ever think about that sweetheart?”
His words were impatient, the initial drive of his fingers into your entrance was rough, but now they slowly worked into you. His movements were careful— cautious even.
It was as if he wanted to take his time, watching your body and listening to the shaky breaths leave your lips.
His hand worked between your legs, searching for the exact technique that would send you spewing profanities and crumbling against the wall.  
He curled his fingertips at just the right spot, not too deep and not too forceful, just a gentle pulse that had an impulsive whimper pouring from your chest.
“Maybe I’m so arrogant because I know I’m good at what I do.” His words held a double meaning as he added a third finger to stroke your newfound sweet spot.
You almost yelped from the stretch, but you held it back as best you could, refusing to give him the gratification of your submission. 
The position he had you in; back arched and ass pushed out, made it almost embarrassingly easy for the addition of a third digit as he watched them to sink into you.
You couldn’t help but hum in approval as he stroked you repeatedly, rubbing against the inviting drawl of your walls. You tried not to lose yourself at his fingertips, knowing from the familiar coil of pleasure in your core that he could have you coming on his fingers at any given moment. 
“Thought you were gonna fuck me, huh?” Your voice was a string of moans as you tried your best to form a coherent sentence with his hand pushed between your bodies. 
As much as you didn’t want his movements to stop, you also didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of making you finish when he’d barely even gotten his hands on you.
Knowing Joel, he would never let you live it down. He’d ride around on his metaphorical high horse and crown himself the king of female orgasms. So instead of letting him bring you to the precipice of release, you met him with a phrase of defiance. But your challenging words were really just a gateway to get what you wanted. You could put on a tough act, but at the end of the day Joel was right, you did want him to fuck you in way no one ever had— hungry and hard against the wall, right here in your client’s house.
In fact, the thought of it had taken over every fiber of your being. The anticipation of feeling him rail into you was clouding your judgement and coursing through your veins at an alarming speed. 
“Think you can take it?” His growl stuck in your ears as he pulled out of you. The lewd noises of his fingers plunging into the slick mess at your folds was quickly replaced by the sound of him fumbling with his belt buckle. 
“How d’you want it, huh baby? You the sentimental type? Want it nice and slow and deep? Or d’you just wanna be ruined? Want someone to be a little rough with ya?” He was asking, but you couldn’t help but note the rhetorical quality of his words as you heard the rustle of his jeans pushing down his thighs. 
“That’s sweet of you to give me choice, maybe you don’t like control as much as I thought- “
Your sarcastic remark was cut short at the abrupt stretch of Joel’s length slamming into you.
“Rough it is then.” His voice was a deep grunt echoing from behind you as he paused, giving you a split second to adjust before pulling back out and thrusting into you again. 
“Shit princess, didn’t think you’d be this fuckin’ tight.”
His voice swam with amusement and pleasure as he watched the way his dick fully disappeared into you with each thrust of his hips.
Hands pulled at your waist as you felt Joel drive deeper with every breathless groan floating off his lips. 
“Look at you, takin’ me like such a good girl.” The words weren’t sweet, instead they teased you, shooting out of his mouth with a mocking tenor. 
You couldn’t keep your body from reacting to his praise, albeit contemptuous, the words still held a deep truth about the situation unfolding against the wall of your shared employer’s closet. 
“Oh, you like that don’t ya? When I tell you what a good girl you are?” His voice was a broken growl of grunts and sighs as he fucked into you— vigorous and desperate.
His pace was unrelenting as he held onto your waist, pulling you back to meet him with every drive of his hips into yours. 
He let one of his hands travel up your body until he was reaching for your jaw, tilting your head up and back until your body was arched at a sinful angle.
“See, I knew you just needed a good fuck.” His groan was right in your ear now that he held your head close to his, the grip he had on your jaw was firm.
It was becoming impossible for you to keep quiet, the strength and depth of his thrusts were causing explicit moans to skate past yours lips.
The hand that Joel was using to hold your face was now maneuvering to your mouth in an effort to muffle the obscene sounds rolling off your tongue. Two of his fingers pushed at your lips, hooking into your mouth. 
“Knew that little attitude a’yours was all for show.”
You closed your lips around his digits as he railed into you, a guttural moan sliding up your throat and humming onto his fingers. 
“Fuck.” His fowl groan was a direct result of your soft mouth sucking around his fingers, mimicking the way you had his cock encased between your legs.
You invited his touch onto your tongue, swirling around his thick digits and sucking him in deeper, earning a prolonged sigh from Joel as he fucked into you even harder.
Each stroke of his cock had your body pressing further into the wall— his pace was mean and unyielding, like he had something to prove. 
With the hand not in your mouth, Joel reached around your body, his fingertips finding your clit and rubbing quick careless circles over the bundle of nerves.
Your body faltered under his touch, your knees slightly buckling, and if it weren’t for the weight of his body trapping you against the wall, you’d be a puddle on the floor. 
He slowed his pace slightly, taking his time to find that spot along your walls again. The one that he discovered just minutes ago when he was three fingers deep in your dripping cunt. 
Whines of approval vibrated against the pads of his fingertips still pressing down on your tongue. His hips began rocking into you at just the right angle— slow and deliberate, with the goal of feeling you coming undone on his cock. 
“That it baby? Right there?” Again, his words were a sadistic tease, but his voice gave way to pitiful throaty whines.
You couldn’t speak, couldn’t even think with the way he was working you toward your release.
Everything felt so overwhelming, his unrelenting thrusts hitting you in the perfect place, his touch on your clit, rough and impatient and his fingers filling your mouth— all of it creating the perfect storm of inconceivable pleasure. 
A jolt of relief surged through your body as the pressure inside you snapped. You let yourself fall further into the wall as Joel’s name slipped from your mouth in a chant.
Hearing his name on your lips in such a distant and dazed voice, had Joel’s cock pulsing. Your walls were clenching from your climax, sucking him in deeper and he couldn’t handle the abundance of warmth enveloping him. 
Both of his hands came down to your hips, fingers digging into your skin as held tight.
His thrusts were merciless as he used you to reach his peak, chasing the familiar buildup of tension in his core as he drove into you at a startling pace. 
Then he pulled out abruptly. 
One hand on his cock, stroking just twice before spilling onto the skin of your lower back, the other pushing your dress further up your body to keep it from becoming a jizz painted mess. 
Silence filled the room.
Neither of you spoke as your hands pushed against the wall underneath your palms. You stayed pressed there, Joel’s body still behind you evident in the ragged breaths leaving his chest. 
Still no words were exchanged as you felt Joel take a step back, the warmth of his presence fading just slightly.
You dared to break your pleasure induced trance to look over your shoulder, only find him pulling his jeans back up his body and tightening his belt without even sparing you a glance.
You began to move until you were reminded of the thick warm mess resting on your back, keeping you from pulling your dress down.
Before you could do anything, Joel was back behind you, hooking his fingers into the waist band of your panties and tugging them down your legs. He stopped at your ankles to tap against your skin, prompting you to step out of them.
Once the lacy material was fully in his grasp, he brought them up to your lower back, using them to gather his spend. He cleaned his mess with the lacy material then pulled your dress back down to cover your lower half. A sticky residue was left on your backside as a plaguing reminder of what had just transpired between you. 
You turned to face him, watching as he crumpled up your ruined underwear and shoved it into his back pocket with a smirk on his face. 
“How about that drink? Could meet you tomorrow night, should be done here around five.” He was back across the room in an instant, gathering tools and not bothering to look in your direction.
His invitation was genuine, but his words lacked interest. 
“I’ll get these back to you then.” His hand came to rest on his back pocket, fingers tapping against the denim holding your used panties.
A self-righteous smile sat on his face as he shot you a look of pure deviance before his eyes were back on his hands as they worked to gather his materials. 
“Yeah, okay.” Your voice came out more flustered than you intended as you smoothed out your dress over your thighs.
Joel was heading for the closet door, tool bag clutched in his hand as he gave you one last gaze of victory.
“It’s a date.” The words were a grumble from his lips, the same ones that were busy parading a smug smile. 
Then he left you standing alone in the small room, your mind racing around itself and your legs still trembling.
A subtle grin rested on your face as you stared down at the floor, trying to find some sort of equilibrium before even attempting to move.
The giant walk-in closet still encasing a lingering heat of reckless choices as you prepared to go on with your day— business as usual.
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