#i almost forgot to post her. ngl

[beetlepawss]

tiger

[pokemonpo]

Taking care of you Speedpaint here! (Shared yt account with my friends, check their speedpaints out also!!) - https://youtu.be/3w9LYWf38tc?si=3qCMrABcRhMz1r9k

[petrovna-zamo]

A book critic!

[larkspurglove]

OH MY GODDD THE NEW TRAILBLAZE MISSION IT’S SO GOOD BUT ALSO NONE OF MY THOUGHTS ARE COHERENT AAAAA

Major spoilers for 2.1 ahead!!!!

So first off to the people that voted for Aventurine and Sunday in this poll how does it feel to be right?

ANYWAY THAT WHOLE ENDING WAS FUCKING INSANEEEE, Aventurine walking INTO the Nihility????? And he might not ever come back???? Acheron showing off the true extent of her emanator powers?????? Gallagher being the twist villain and also somehow in control of Something Unto Death???? What the fuck?!

My brain is a mess right now I’m just rotating all of the story in my brain and a hundred miles a minute. The next stuff is just going to be me word vomiting my reaction to stuff in a vaguely chronological order.

First off I LOVEEE how Aventurine-focused the Trailblaze mission was. I was kind of assuming it would be a 50/50 split between focusing on Acheron and focusing on Aventurine but it seems like they’re saving Acheron’s backstory for 2.2 or 2.3.

The little appearance of Boothill??? And how he immediately threatens violence?????? Just a silly guy I can’t wait for him in 2.2 I wanna see them fight. Also I wonder if Constance is making empty promises because it’s possible.

Back to Aventurine, DAMNNN I knew his backstory would be tragic but it’s even more gut wrenching than I expected. The reference in his achievements too??? ‘What do you want Sibyl?’ ‘I want to die.’ THE PROGRESSION FROM AVENTURINE STICKING WITH THIS UNTIL THE END WHERE EVEN THOUGH HE COULD POSSIBLY DIE FOR REAL YET HE DECIDES FO CONTINUE FORWARD BECAUSE EVEN IF WE’RE BORN TO DIE THERE’S A POINT IN LIVING LIFE AND PREPARING FOR THAT INEVITABILITY???? OH MY GOD.

Sunday’s also a scary dude. Maybe being an emanator does that to people but when he did that Harmony mindfuckery on Aventurine I was almost certain that he was going to die because of that. I was also SO pissed at Ratio for selling Aventurine out only to learn they were actually double crossing SUNDAY was insane. I’m glad he finally got to be angry about Robin’s death towards the end though, most of the downtime between 2.0 and 2.1 has been me wondering ‘man his sister just died why doesn’t he feel more distressed.’

Ngl I’m probably gonna dedicate a whole post to Aventurine in this update because 90% of the time I was playing the quest I was either thirsting over him, internally sobbing for him, thinking he was gonna die, or waiting to get back to his POV.

Gallagher is one hell of an enigma because Sunday implies that he’s made up of different ‘aspects’ of each Family member who’s died over however long the dreamscape deaths have been happening, yet he has a past with Siobhan and apparently knew Mikhail??? Like what the fuck????? How long has this been going on????

(Edit: so the use of ‘enigma’ was NOT a pun, when I played the trailblaze quest someone goofed up and forgot to add the line where Sunday calls Gallagher a follower of The Enigmata. Yeah that’s a pretty big lore drop to forget to add.)

I do wish it was foreshadowed slightly better though because the most we get is him being very vaguely sad about his past and also like two people going ‘who the hell is Gallagher.’

One thing I didn’t expect to happen was for a ‘Sam is Firefly’ reveal. Like I had seen the leaks before (not out of my own will sadly) and kind of expected for it to be a 2.2 reveal. Either way yayyyy Firefly is alive!!!

I’m sad that we didn’t really have an Acheron and Welt team up, or at least that we didn’t see more of it. It was kind of hyped up to be a whole B-plot but turned out to only be a few scenes. I’m not complaining because we get a little teeny bit of Welt characterisation but I’m still sad.

I like how Sparkle kind of just shows up to either be a nuisance or a conveniently timed piece to move the plot forward. It’s very fitting with being a Masked Fool.

There’s a lot more I want to scream about but it’s all Aventurine related and I’m gonna save it for its own dedicated post.

2.1 is so fucking good 2.2 and 2.3 better stick the landing.

[sku11s1asher]

hi! i loved what you wrote for my request 😭 it was so cute, i didn't really specify it bc i forgot but yeah u did it amazing <33

and yeah u can totally make a part 2! actually i was thinking about it bc i can imagine a meeting between furina and the natlan archon while neuvi and reader are just giving glances to eachother 😭 reader looking like a total meanace but in his mind like "damn he's handsome" almost burning his cheeks and the seat lmao

neuvillette x m! reader (part 1)

note: ngl i feel like i do good at posting then smth with school pops up and i don’t post for like a month.. sorry y’all. also please tell me im not the only one who’s been on and off sick for the past month, rn i have a runny nose and a sore throat AGAIN. i just got over that like, barely 2 weeks ago.

tw: y/n is a bit of a weirdo with his thoughts since he doesn’t understand anything w/ love, internal homophobia (not really but kinda?), y/n is all over the place

After centuries of fighting, killing, and not showing emotions to anyone, all that can end because of a guy with beautiful long hair. The more y/n thinks about it, the more embarrassed he gets. He’s known for being a fearless and intimidating warrior, just for that whole facade to disappear just over a man out of all things.

This whole scenario came into place because his nation archon just had to have a meeting with Fontaine's archon, Furina, at least y/n thinks that’s her name. The meeting consisted of figuring out how to make the justice system within Natlan better and a way to make transportation easier between the two nations. y/n didn’t pay attention to the little details, he was only there to ‘protect’ his archon and make sure things went smoothly.

However, he didn’t realize that the other archon would be bringing a guest with her until a day before the meeting. It did tick y/n off a little bit that he would get notified so late but does it really matter? All y/n is doing is protecting and making sure everything doesn’t go south.

Well, it did go a bit south, as soon as Furina's guest arrived, y/n's mouth went dry. That man did things to him that he didn’t even know could happen. Maybe it was the long hair on the other man that made y/n feel warm inside, it definitely couldn’t have been the slight scent he had. No, definitely not.

Okay, y/n takes that back, he feels like he’s getting intoxicated by the proximity of the other male. It wasn’t hard to figure out that the guest, was a dragon, all it took was a quick look and a secret deep breath to figure it out. He had it figured out, his body wasn’t used to being by another dragon, and he hadn’t seen one in what, centuries? This feeling would go away in maybe 20 minutes, hopefully.

20 minutes later and y/n feels like he’s going to light the whole place on fire. His whole body feels like it’s melting, and to no one’s surprise, it’s all due to the long-haired man in front of him. The stranger might genuinely be the hottest person y/n has ever seen in his entire life. That long hair makes y/n want to run his fingers through it, maybe brush it, but that might be a bit too much to think about.

Once y/n saw the man look at him, he quickly looked away, how embarrassing.. he got caught staring hardcore. He took a deep breath before listening back into the conversation, “Ah, yes, I suppose it would do both nations good to do something like that. Maybe combining a bit of power.” the lovey talk of archons, always talking about power; like it’s the only thing that matters to them.

Power is important though, y/n is in the position he’s in right now because of how powerful he is. In complete honesty, he’s probably too powerful for his own good, only knowing how to use it to protect his nation from people deemed as enemies; even if they aren’t in the public eye. Power rules everything at the end of the day, nothing can function without power.

The more he listens into the conversation, the more he realizes he was glad he was never born as an archon; he’s been around one most of his life and it’s always been boring. Listening in did provide small details though, like the mysterious man’s name.

While y/n was somewhat able to keep his focus off of the other dragon in the room, he managed to not burn anything. But, he had a feeling his archon caught on as they gave him a questionable look; it was a very subtle one that only he could catch onto but it was obvious they knew something. Nothing is going on though, right? The man can’t help it if he gets a bit flustered whenever he remembers Neuvillette is near him.

Gosh, y/n probably looks like a blushed teenager who just confessed to his crush. Well, he at least thought he did. To everyone else though, he looked like he was on guard and was going to fight anyone who even took a step too close to his and the Natlan archon's bubble. y/ns hand accidentally gazed at the chair near him, which caused the leather to burn where his touch was. Good thing no one was looking, right?

y/n couldn’t wait any longer for this meeting to be over, his brain was thinking too many things while he was focusing on every single move everyone else did. It would be overwhelming for anyone who wasn’t trained and as skilled as he was, but that tiny overwhelming feeling didn’t compare to how fast his heart was beating. y/n hoped the other male couldn’t pick up how he was feeling, thankfully Fontaine's archon seemed to be happy with the deal she and the other archon came up with.

In Neuvillette's mind, he could tell that the fire dragon was on edge. He could also tell how much the dragon was staring at him, it was a little nerve-racking. Once Neuvillette caught a glance at the chair that was touched, it made him a bit surprised but he didn’t show it. Maybe he would talk to the other male after the meeting, for work-related things of course!

[theerurishipper]

Welcome to me watching the Paris special, this time with commentary! I watched the special and wrote down everything here as I watched it and forgot to post it cause I'm a dumbass. Also, this is long asf, in fact, it's so long that I had to make a Part 2.

Okay here goes!

Ah, the Gabriel version of the theme. This really took me by surprise. It's fire tho.

Straight into the action, I like it.

Max and Markov aren't different people in this?

That's some entrance from Shady and Claw, really ups the stakes. Makes you wonder why Nino tried to fight them with a nerf gun.

Ubiquity is so pretty.

I might be the only one who liked the Gabe scene we got.

Feeling some nostalgia for the candy cane cosplay ngl.

And we get a good scene with Adrien and Plagg. I liked the advice Plagg gave about how not all destruction is bad. Neat.

Some Alya and Marinette. Marinette is going through some tough times and is in need of support, and Tikki takes this opportunity to escape from her and steal macaroons. No hate tho, you do you Tikki.

Though she does react to the people of Paris cheering for Ladybug. That was sweet.

Alya turns into Ubiquity, and then we get... Betterfly.

Betterfly? Seriously? Coulda just gone with Hesperia.

"I'm not sure there's anything to hope for from Ladybug." My poor baby!

Love the look of absolute confusion on Alya's face.

Hesperia's confusion about his evil counterpart is really funny ngl.

SHADYBUG

"There, you can have your boyfriend back~" love the delivery on that line lmao.

But also, CLAW NOIR

Not her just stealing his belt immediately.

Marinette hates Adrien Agreste. This truly is the reverse world.

But also, I love Claw Noir pretending to be his own fan to impress Shadybug.

Claw Noir sure does love using that Cataclysm.

For someone who just woke up to see her friend gone and a hole in the wall, Alya collected herself pretty damn quick. I would be freaking the fuck out in her position. Just another reason she's the best.

RIP Alya's phone. Gabe really did a number on you.

Shadybug makes a butterfly tracker, proving that she ain't no Gabe.

Hesperia is befuddled by our world, Part 2.

It's always gotta be the Eiffel Tower, doesn't it.

Claw Noir's pulling a Chat Blanc?? Hello??

Hesperia (I'm not gonna call him Betterfly) is apparently a gentleman. It's almost disturbing after 5 seasons of Gabe being the worst piece of shit to grace our screens.

I guess no matter the universe and moral alignment, it's Gabriel's fate to get beaten up by teenagers.

Not Tikki loredumping about parallel universes right now lmao

Times like this remind me that Tikki is, for all intents and purposes, a god.

"You'd die before I could ever explain all this to you," is actually a pretty valid (and disturbingly hilarious) justification for not having bothered to bring any of this up before.

The Supreme is someone I'd like to learn more about. I've narrowed the suspects down to either Fu or Su-Han. Watch it be Lila instead if we ever get that info.

I feel like the info about the timers is something we should have gotten way, way earlier. Like, a few seasons ago.

Ladybug's triumphant entrance!

"Whatever, pest." Queen.

I love Claw Noir's staff.

Shadybug took no prisoners at all.

CHAT NOIR

Destruction vibes, and right after that incident too.

Claw Noir is unhinged.

Claw Noir just fucking cataclysmed himself??? Guess Adrien is always gonna be self-destructive in every universe huh?

Welp, looks like Chat Noir is officially re-traumatized.

I want y'all to remember that this boy went through the whole special with a cataclysm wound on his person and did not falter once. Mad respect.

Chat Noir got tossed. Chat Blanc call back number 2.

Obsessed with the way Bryce Papenbrook pronounces "cockroach."

Finally, a villain who actually gets rid of the Lucky Charm. Hawkie, take notes.

"Who the cat are you?"

So Shadybug can create whatever Lucky Charm she wants, huh?

Someone's been listening to the fandom.

Not the time freezing lmfao

I don't like that Gabe is turning Adrien into an angel, even if this is a good version. Anyway, Chat Blanc call back 3.

"Kitty catty" "Later loser!" I love her.

Of course, not all bugs can fly.

He moved out of the way.

I fucking love Claw Noir so much you guys, he's so funny.

Well, he tried. Shadybug's just better than him ig.

Hesperia stores his butterfly in his cane. So it's just our Gabe that tries to keep multiple butterflies, I guess.

I think they should kiss.

So they're doing this in hopes that The Supreme spares them? Interesting, and pretty sad.

They're so scared of the Akuma lmfao

If I was Alya, I'd have given myself away by now. Actually, I wouldn't have had the presence of mind to even hide.

Guess the counterparts are from some dystopian world ruled by The Supreme. It tracks with the look we got at it in the opening.

"In order to get something I wanted." We saw the Peacock Miraculous in the opening too, and also Emilie died. So I guess Adrien is a Sentimonster in the other reality too. Damn it.

I guess this Gabe realized his mistake instead of descending into madness like ours.

She just broke Marinette's box like it was nothing. So much for that.

Claw Noir lounges around playing with dolls and mocks Shadybug for being lazy while she does all the work and he lazes around. Have I mentioned yet that I love him?

Also I am glad they stayed true to Adrien's character and had him play with dolls.

The whole part about Chat Noir... be still my Ladynoir heart.

Love how they incorporated the webisodes into this. About time those had relevance.

Shadybug really "hates" Claw Noir.

Marinette's having doubts, my poor baby girl.

Shadybug and Claw Noir have power, but not their strength. That's a really good line.

She's reading the diary and crying... baby.

This is such a touching scene. I don't say that lightly, but it really is.

SHE FOUND THE WISH

Marinette really wrote down every single world ending secret in this one poorly protected diary huh.

She literally took him down in 2 seconds. Bruh.

IDENTITY REVEAL! THIS IS NOT A DRILL, I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL

Shadybug managed to achieve in 2 seconds what Marinette and Adrien have not achieved after 5 seasons of Love Square drama which I admittedly enjoy but that's not the point.

Those strange... marks? Cracks? Scars?

Blots off... I'm dying y'all.

Reverse Love Square? Hello??? HELLO???

She literally just beat his ass, tied him up and took his Miraculous and this is his reaction once he realizes who she is.

He's down so bad.

They should have played Careless Whisper here.

CUTIE PIE, MY SON

The Supreme is such a fucking asshole, he gagged the Kwamis.

Emonette wants our Marinette's life? She doesn't know the half of what she's getting into.

The Supreme got to the wish somehow? What the fuck?

"Reality is The Supreme." I don't know who this guy is, but he is DELULU.

This shot... masterfully done. My poor baby girl.

These kids are not okay. My poor sweet babies.

Daggers out. Seriously, stop it, you two.

He's trying to comfort her. They're just... I'm in pain. I'm so sad for them y'all.

Gabe in his prototype Monarch outfit.

Good thing (for him at least) he had the Ox, or else this would be his second cataclysm of the day.

Ladybug and Chat Noir are back in action, baby.

I'm sorry, I would not be able to say Betterfly unironically without bursting into laughter.

AFTER 5 SEASONS, WE FINALLY GET TO SEE CHAT NOIR'S NIGHT VISION AGAIN

Not that they needed it lmao

Alya coming in clutch with the recording. Queen.

LADYNOIR LADYNOIR LADYNOIR

It's so so so nice to see Ladynoir on screen again after Season 5 killed it.

Hit the word limit, so continued here.

[aut1smkid]

❍⌇─➭ welcome to ⌗my blog : ๑ ˚ ͙۪۪̥◌ ⌨꒱

Heya people! I'm Auzie! I'm an artist who likes drawing gay lil objects, or whatever. I'm still in school so I won't post often. I stand with Palestine! Fuck them stupid terrorists. They can burn in hell. No matter what happens to Palestine, I won't stand down. I'll just spring right back up! I want to apologize for the awful situation going on in Palestine right now. No matter what happens I'll always be here for you. I take requests too. They're free. As long as you don't pester the shit out of me, I'll be no problem! Also I like taking my time, so please don't rush me. Also, I'm a vore artist!! If you don't like that sort of stuff, I'd suggest leaving this blog. Also, you can ask me for art requests too. Idc.

Da rulez!

(๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧✧ʸᴱˢ

❧Object shows of any kind! I love the osc, and anything to do with the popular ones!

❧Inanimate insanity! Love it so much! I can't stop doodling the characters someone pls stop me (TдT)

❧AUs! Love em or hate em, there's tons to offer!

(」°ロ°)」ᴺᴼ

❧Proships! Nothing to do with them AT ALL!

❧ ( -_•)╦̵̵̿╤─ NSFW!

❧R*cism! No.... Just no.

❧F*tish! Uhhh.... This one's a maybe. Depends on which one, but here a list of the ones I despise. 👇

F*rt

&ss

Infl*tion

F&t/st*ffing/w3ight g&in

T!ckling

f##t l!cking

(*ˊᗜˋ*)ᵗᑋᵃᐢᵏ ᵞᵒᵘ

Oh yeah!!! Almost forgot!! Here's the specific inanimate insanity ships I don't like or dni 👇

On thin ice:

Paintyang, Comedygold, Ojphone (idk wtf you call it) Twophone (as long as it's platonic or not very much kissing I'm cool) testcab, micsoap

Dni!!!

Silverfan, knifan, Tissyang, Tacomic, stevepen, trofan

I'm a minor!!!

NSFW dni!!!

Check out my other accounts!!! 👇

[voidandabyssal]

Can I get add the swap and swapfell brothers to the Amalgam request? Maybe even Horrortale?

Of course you can! here's the link to the first amalgram post! I'll just do the Swap and SwapFell brothers for now though.

Blue:

when you go missing he's the first to notice. Both of you text pretty frequently when your not around each other (which is pretty rare in of itself). He visits your home, then your job, then any other areas your known to frequently vist. Getting more and more worried as you remain missing for longer and don't respond to his calls.

He calls Stretch out to help with looking for you, his brother knows a lot of people so they'd both find out pretty soon that you were last seen visiting Undyne.

Blue decides to sneak into Undyne's lab. Though he does think the best, "probably just some medical check up you forgot to tell him about. Nothing big!"

Immediately goes to comforting you when he does find you.

Keeps hugging you even when you try and push him away, apologising for melting over him.

He confronts Undyne he confesses to hiding both yourself and the rest of the amalgamites away.

Blue calls in Alphys to help deal with the situation and re-unite everyone. Then he and Stretch take you back home. He promises to help you in any way.

He tries to do what you want, if you want to find a cure, then he's recruiting Stretch, even a regretful Undyne to the cause. You just want to learn to live again? Yep and he's by your side every step of the way

Stretch:

Immediately suspicious when you just disappear. That's unusual for you. He asks around and finds that a few of his bar friends saw you and Undyne together. Weird, especially cause you don't really know her.

He shoots a text to Undyne asking her where you are. When she starts acting weird, changing subject, ignoring phone calls, asking dumb questions, he gets really suspicious

He goes down into the old lab his father used to work in. Guessing that Undyne still uses it.

Imagine his surprise (and horror) when he finds you, malformed, melting and in constant pain.

He carries you up and confronts Undyne. It's not a confrontation that goes well...

Of course Undyne is heartbroken and riddled with guilt. She had never thought that determination could do something like that.

Stretch keeps you in the lab. Hoping that with him and Undyne's intelligence, a cure could be found quickly.

He grabs things from your home that he knows would comfort you. Blankets, clothes, books, anything that keeps you stable and happy.

Somehow still manages to make time for cuddles.

Black (SF Sans)

boy if you even think you're leaving his eyesight!!!

seriously tho, I can only imagine Black would ever let someone like, euugh, Undyne, if you were in serious trouble.

Likely you had some serious health issues, or maybe you even fell down.

Whatever the case, he was desperate to help you and Undyne's kind of the only qualified doctor they have left. So off you go...

yeah, it doesn't go well. Black genuinely tries to murder Undyne. He takes this not only as a slight against you, but as action against him.

You're under HIS protection, meaning when someone fucks with you, they fuck with him.

Mutt steps in and manages to calm his brother down, pointing out that Undyne may actually be one of the only people to be able to help you.

Black keeps a VERY close eye on you. If you haven't already moved in with him, you are now!

Tasks his brother with keeping you safe when he has to leave.

Mutt (SF Papyrus):

probably the one to fuck up this time, ngl.

He was actually apart of the royal scientists before he left it. Like Black, he wouldn't want any science experiment stuff going on and he tries to keep you seperate from it.

We don't always get what we want though, from one reason to another, bad timing, thoughtless decisions, etc. You ended up overdosing from two much determination.

the guilt almost cracks his soul in two. He can't look you in the eye after what happened.

Keeps you hidden away in the true lab, occasionally popping in when he's either really drunk, high, or holding some new serum that's supposed to cure you.

Poor boy already struggled with substance abuse, this just makes it worse.

When he shortcuts in drunk; he just cries, holding your malformed body and crying apologies and begging for forgiveness.

Then he disappears in the morning when he wakes up hungover as hell and realises what he'd done.

[camellia-salazar]

January's Set of Fan Art/Doodles

OH GOD I ALMOST FORGOT TO POST THIS!! Good thing I just remembered before it was too late. I didn't get to draw and post this the day of but at least I got to post it before January ends.

I also tried to match the art style just like with other characters from other shows and stuff.

The set of Kindergarten fan doodles took forever to finish. It also felt forever getting back into the game. Idk why I put it off for so long I loved the game so much back in 9th grade.

Shit I failed to change the Hexley twin's sleeves back to long hhh

Characters from my January interests (besides Willow I just wanted to draw him). 4 characters I drew because of reactions, 3 because I got into them myself, and Alastor for both and because I'm also watching Hazbin Hotel with my parents and sister. Also I miss Geologist Randy, ngl. 🥲 And I didn't even watch 101DS yet I'm watching the 90s show first and there's like 65 episodes 💀 AND THE SECOND MOVIE AFTER 😭 idek if they matter for 101DS

I just felt like drawing them. Probably my two most favorite villains of WC. They were also the two most heart broken. Huh.

Just a quick draw of Hollyleaf (or Hollypaw cause of no scars). Nothing much to say on it I just drew her, just because.

Thanks for viewing my fan art! Hope you had a great January 2024!! 💖✨👋

Read more down below if you want to ⬇️:

Oh and I also drew Warrior Cats x Hazbin Hotel AU. I had a blast with that, so if any one wants to see it let me know. (I also made a Warriors x BJHM AU a while back, not as proud of it as I am of WC x HH but I might show you that one before the other one just because its older).

There was gonna be another page of fan doodles but my tablet died and I don't think I'll have enough time to finish it when it's charged before midnight (my fault for putting it off tbh). So I'm gonna post it for February. Thanks for waiting on me to post it. Man am I hooked on new content this month and probably next month too. Can't wait to watch em.

I got a few sort of new fan art that I'll post next month just because I want to put in tags for them.

But anyway thanks again! Cya in February!! 💖✨👋

(curse the tag limit... Why couldn't it be 50 tags instead of 30?)

[4izawas]

╰─▸ ❝ 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 ( 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫? ) ❞ ──── 𝐟𝐭. 𝐥. 𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧.

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: the horrors of a coveted life aboveground finally catch up with levi once again.

𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦: attack on titan | 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: levi ackerman/f!reader | 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: nsfw ; minors dni | 𝐰/𝐜: 5.19k.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: fem reader, prev established relationship, smut, angst, levi’s a lil prick /neg, blood, gore, character death, typical aot violence, pre-canon au.

𝐚 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐜𝐚𝐬: god this is from way back last year and ngl i forgot it existed. it’s kinda ass methinks but eh have at it anyway

— 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐦𝐞 !!

𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐃𝐈𝐃 𝐖𝐄 go wrong?  Why are we even here if all we’re going to do is suffer? What did we do in a past life to deserve this hell?

Blood splashes across Levi’s face, getting into his eyes, nose, and mouth all at once as he watches the chaos behind him and questions everything that had led them up to this point. The salty, iron-laced liquid makes him choke at its metallic taste and gag at the fact that it was all still warm, still fresh. It rolls unwillingly down his throat, thick and hot and enough to make him vomit if he wasn’t so damn focused on the horror in front of him. 

The sound of screaming filled his ears — Erwin, from where he was driving the wagon they were all in and looking over his shoulder just in time to witness the cause of all the blood soaking Levi, Hange from next to the aforementioned man who hadn’t caught as much blood as Levi had but was still wetted by it, Miche who just… didn’t know what the fuck to do with the sight in front of him, and of course Levi’s own squad, who had been thrown into the back of the wagon with them. Cadet Ral was wailing and had pissed herself, and honestly Levi didn’t blame her. 

More screaming reached his ears, this time from soldiers who were still zipping through the air ( as was the last command of the soldier just snapped up ), but Levi…  he’s just silent — and really, what was he supposed to do? Should he scream too? He didn’t know. He didn’t think he’d be able to make a noise even if he could try. He just felt… numb. So numb, and to everything. So instead, he didn’t say a word…

With wide, haunted grey eyes hooded by blood spotted lashes, he just watched. 

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐁𝐎𝐀𝐑𝐃 𝐎𝐅 the bed thumps against the wall lightly as Levi lets his head fall back, his eyes squeezed shut and his bottom lip between his teeth. His left hand, thrown up to rest right by his head, is tightly clenched into a fist around the pillow his head rests on, and his chest is heaving with exertion. His other hand is tightly gripping his wife’s hip as she bounces up and down on his cock eagerly — not too fast, but not so slow that it would be more like torture than pleasure. 

He bucks his hips up into hers so he can bury his cock deeper inside her right as she presses herself down and they both let out strained moans in unison. Y/N starts bouncing faster, the small knot in her stomach growing larger and tightening by the second as she approaches her orgasm. From the way Levi let his other hand fall from her hip and went completely limp aside from a few more much weaker thrusts of his hips up into hers, Y/N knew he was close too. Without a moment’s hesitation she slams herself down on him one last time and they cum together, his cock filling her with hot cum and her pussy tightening almost painfully on his already sensitive cock. Both of them let out twin cries of pleasure, Y/N’s eyes rolling back in her head and Levi’s squeezed tightly shut. 

Once she starts coming down, Y/N freezes for a second, her thighs trembling and her eyes roving across the view beneath her that was Levi post-orgasm, and she demands of herself to memorize the view: his cheeks pinkened and his eyes closed, his eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly and his mouth open just enough that she can see his pretty pink tongue that he always put to good use lapping at her pussy. His hair was messy from her gripping at it as he’d fucked her into the mattress earlier, and she relished the sweet sounds that were falling from his mouth as he gasped for air and for her. 

Completely certain that she’s memorized the picture beneath her, she lets herself fall onto the bed beside him, her own chest heaving. She’s grinning, completely sated and beyond pleased, and she looks over at him. He’s still wrecked from their morning’s activities, but she knows it’s time. 

She swings her bare legs over the side of the bed and grunts in annoyance as she gets up. The cold that had set into the floor overnight slowly begins to seep into her bare feet and she shivers a little before striding over to the wardrobe she shared with him, opening it and pulling out her uniform. They weren’t due downstairs for another hour or so, but Y/N had to discuss something with Erwin and Levi would likely want to bathe rather than shower. 

“You need to be careful out there today, Le’,” she murmurs over her shoulder, buttoning her pants up. “Something feels… weird, but I don’t know what. Something’s off.”

“You’re overthinking things,” is his response from his place on the bed, an arm thrown over his eyes. “You’ve been walking on the tips of your toes and been nervous since I told that fuckin’ gear technician he can go fuck himself after he tried grabbing your ass.”

“No, something’s different this time, Levi — I mean it. Something about the expedition today… I just don’t know—“

“C’mon now, grow a pair and get used to it. Expeditions always feel off because we always lose soldiers,” he replies lazily, sitting up and stretching. He looks over at her with a slightly exhausted look in his eyes, which glittered delicately in their sockets in a strict contrast to the decidedly not delicate man they belonged to. “And besides, as long as it isn’t you, I couldn’t give two fucks.”

Going silent, she continues dressing in uniform, nearly finishing up as he strides over to her and starts pulling out his uniform to dress himself as well; apparently he wasn’t going to bathe after all, but she wasn’t very surprised considering more often than not he didn’t on expedition days that they fucked because he called it a ‘filthy sort of good luck charm’. When he just neatly laid his primary expeditionary uniform out on the bed, she smiled and inwardly laughed softly to herself; wrong again, he was going to their private bathroom to bathe. 

The sunlight shining in from the window beside their bed bounces off of the cool metal of Levi’s ODM gear, and as Y/N glances over it while turning she pauses. She didn't know what it was, but it just looked… off, and she couldn’t explain it. It surely wasn’t as if it was broken, considering all Scout ODM gear — including the Commander’s, Captains’, and Section Commanders’ — aside from her own ( and that of her team ) had been brought to them by that year’s cadets after a mandatory look over by the gear technicians.  

The only reason her gear wasn’t sent in, nor that of her team and the thirty or so Scouts that were also exempt was because they, primarily she, were on a private job for Erwin in the inner city. He’d had some things he’d wanted to look into, but he’d not had the time, so he’d sent her and her team of four along with thirty soldiers of her choosing to more or less run an interference maneuver against the MPs, who had been acting oddly with the Scouts for the past year. The small group of Military Police personnel planning to carry out a strike against the Scouts were stopped and the potential crisis was, of course, averted, and they’d all returned home that very night. She, along with the soldiers she’d brought with her, didn’t bother dropping down to see the technicians and she’d ordered them all to take special care in tending to their gear that night, informing them of the expedition coming the following morning before bidding them goodnight. 

“Levi, I really think—“ she starts, but he’s already gone and a glance at the clock tells her that she’d soon run late to her meeting with Erwin, so she shakes her head to rid it of any intrusive thoughts and heads out into the hallway, leaving Levi to his bath. 

𝐀𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 𝐀𝐍 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐑 and a meeting gone well having passed, the group of Scouts set to go out on the day’s expedition wait nervously before the gates at the exit in the Shiganshina District. The horses, though used to their lives of being used for speed and efficiency, step nervously in place as they pick up on the unvoiced worries and emotions of their riders. 

Y/N’s team, one composed solely of four men all at least six years her senior and four cadets that she’d carefully chosen from the best of the best that year, are near the front, as is Levi’s team. He’s also backed by four men, but he only has one cadet: a young girl, surnamed Ral, who had had stars in her eyes for him since he’d taken her on. The two of them had often chuckled about it over tea ( only with the best intentions, of course ), finding her desperation to please amusing. The girl knew that he was married, and she treated Y/N with the same reverence she did her Captain, which is why neither of them had really put their foot down her way. 

“Steady yourselves and ready your hearts; we’re about to ride back into hell, so it’s best you’re prepared,” she says gravely, noting the way her four cadets shook with fear. It was only their first day beyond the walls, so their fear was understandable, and Y/N refused to scold them for it. It was best to hold your fear close to your chest and get out of the hell approaching with your life rather than rush out in false bravery and get snatched from your horse’s back three feet from the gates. 

Glancing over to Levi, who’s reclipping on his belt after tightening his gear, Y/N swallows hard. Looking at it still made her feel funny; she needed to say something. 

She rides over to him as he clips the final piece into place, her eyebrows furrowed in concern as she sidles up next to him. She smiles softly at the excited wave Cadet Ral sends her way, dipping her head kindly before turning to her husband and letting the worry she felt shine through. He looks up at her, one eyebrow raised in concern, before she speaks. 

“I really think you should get your gear checked,” she admits quietly, not missing the way his eyebrows furrowed together. “I swear something’s wrong, I just can’t prove it.”

“Are you seriously asking me to put off an expedition for at least an hour just to calm you down and ease needless concerns?” he asks in disbelief, his tone cold. Y/N’s heart aches suddenly, unsure as to why he was speaking to her this way ( but assuming it was because of her incessant nagging over his gear, considering she’d talked with him about it on the ride from the base ). “I can’t afford to ride up to Erwin and tell him to hold off heading out just because you’re paranoid over something that’s fine,” he snaps. “Just fuck off  back to your team and mind your own business, and your own gear. Mine is fine.”

Swallowing hard, Y/N does as told, pulling at the reins of her horse and leading it up to stand at Erwin’s  immediate right as always. Cursing during their conversations with one another wasn’t unusual, nor was them telling one another to fuck off, but he’d not spoken to her so snappishly in years; his forehead been a bit warm that morning, maybe he was ill… 

Regardless, Y/N still worried. 

“What’s the matter, something’s off with you,” Erwin murmurs quietly out of the side of his mouth as he steadies his horse. The gates steadily rise, and Y/N sighs and shakes her head. 

“I don’t know, something just feels strange,” she replies quietly, her brow furrowing as she thinks over what her husband had said to her; she knew he’d apologize in his own way as soon as possible, but it still didn’t sit right with her. 

Erwin raises an eyebrow. “‘Strange’ how? I’m not one to doubt your gut.”

“Almost enough to request this be called off,” she admits, not missing the way his eyes widened in surprise. She shakes her head and sighs again, looking away. “Nevermind me, I’m probably just paranoid… just promise to watch Levi?”

“I always do,” he replies softly, and she turns to smile weakly at him when the sun glints off of his own gear. She pauses, staring at it a little as that same odd feeling in her gut that she’d had when looking at Levi’s fills her. She opens her mouth to say something, but the gates are open and he’s already shouting for the expedition to begin, and the only thing she can do is follow him at the head of her team as dutifully as a soldier of her standing could. 

The charge is lead with her at Erwin’s side and her team collowing close behind. for the first couple dozen miles everything is clear, something that makes Miche — who is riding at Erwin’s left shoulder — voice that maybe they’d be lucky today. 

As usual, whenever someone says or thinks life is going great, everything goes wrong. 

Out of nowhere  an abnormal appears with what looks like twenty others in tow right over Y/N’s left shoulder, Miche noticing them as soon as his last word leaves his mouth. His eyes widen, and he shouts to them both in warning, “Titans to the east!”

Erwin and Y/N both turn, their eyes widening almost in tandem before Y/N hurriedly reaches to her side and draws her flare gun to fire off a black flare over her own right shoulder so the people who potentially hadn’t seen would know the approaching titans’ location. 

“Cadets, make use of your gear and fall back!” Y/N shouts, “Make sure you inform the Captains and Section Commander Hange before warning the wagon drivers and returning to me!”

“Affirmative, Captain!” they respond in unison, all turning to look down to their ODM gear one last time while their seniors watch over them protectively before taking off towards the groups behind them. As they go, Y/N watches, shouting to Erwin as she does. 

“Alright, our turn now!” she shouts, finally tearing her eyes from the four fifteen year olds to ready herself. 

“My — My ODM gear-!” Erwin yells suddenly, his eyes wide and wild, and Y/N looks at him questioningly as she prepares to take off. He’d made her jump so hard she’d almost fallen from her horse. 

“What about it?!” she calls over the wind and sounds of hoofbeats, signalling for one of her soldiers to fetch the cadets. He didn’t have to ride far, considering they were all on their way back already. 

He turns to her, eyes filled with fear, and tells her, “It isn’t working! My gear’s failed!” Miche shouts in a terror-stricken  sense of agreement, signalling that his isn’t working either and neither are his teams’, and the three look between themselves in a panic as they try to figure out what the hell to do. Y/N’s four leading soldiers shout that their gear all works and request orders, and Y/N just shouts for the cadets ( who had just returned seconds before right behind the soldier Y/N had sent after them) to ride back and inquire into everyone’s gear. They shout an affirmative and break off again, leaving Y/N to turn back to Erwin. 

“What do you want to do?!” she shouts, and he shakes his head and shrugs a little, still panicked. He’d not been a Commander for even ten expeditions yet, nor even seven, but she’d been a cadet with him and Miche all those years ago, so he knew that he could rely on her and be honest with her. 

“What can we? We’ll have to keep riding until we can figure out why my gear, as well as Miche’s and his teams’, won’t engage!” he replies. Seconds after he shouts this to her, matching screams about gear begin to sound behind them, and they look back to see the majority of the Scouts following them panicking over unusable ODM gear. Young Cadet Ral is crying hard, unsure as to what to do, and Y/N can see her husband trying to comfort her and calm her down while also trying to find Y/N herself.

Forcing herself to ignore it and turn away, Y/N silently wonders why her gear as well as that of her own team is still in working order when everyone else’s has, for some unseen reason, failed. While she tries to piece it together, her cadets return yet again and inform her that all the way back to the wagons, no one's ODM gear is working aside from their own and the people that had gone with her to the capitol, and for a moment Y/N’s heart stops as she realizes what’s happened. She turns to Erwin again and yells, “It’s the technician team!”

“What?!” he calls, confused, and she explains. 

“The ODM gear technicians — they sabotaged your gear when they called for it back last night before we got to base!” Y/N shouts, and understanding dawns on Erwin’s face as the titans screech and roar behind them. 

“And yours wasn’t broken because you weren’t here!” he calls back, piecing it together, and she nods. He shakes his head angrily. “Those bastards — they’ve killed us all!”

Y/N’s eyes narrow. “Not quite,” she snaps, “I’ve been with you this long, and I’ll be damned if I let you die!” She turns her head back to her team. “Eyes to me!” she roars, and she has their attention immediately. “Find everyone that went to the capitol with us and inform them that they’re the only ones with working ODM gear, so saving the rest of their fellow soldiers is on them! Tell them all to break formation and ride to me for orders!”

“Yes, Captain!” is the resounding answer she gets, and she turns back to Erwin as her soldiers ride off to carry out her orders. Erwin, who’d turned to watch them go, locks eyes with her, and she nods stubbornly in his direction. 

“There. With that handled, you and I need to lead everyone somewhere out of the titans’ reach, somewhere we can all regroup for at least a few minutes. Those of us with working gear will try our best to handle the titans, the rest of you just need to get to some high ground — and I know exactly where to go.”

𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐈 𝐇𝐀𝐃 heard the usual click of his gas pump opening but didn’t lift off, his stomach had dropped. Never before had there been a delay in his gear working, much less it not working at all, and as sudden shrieks about others’ gear fills the air and his wife’s cadets ride back a second time to ask in a panic about the functionality of everyone’s ODM gear Levi realizes just how right Y/N was to worry. She was, more often than not, correct in her worries whenever she’d had them, but that morning he just felt a little ill — and coupled with her having been gone for well over a fortnight when he needed her home with him? It just spelled disaster for them and his attitude. He felt guilty for it as soon as he’d snapped at her and she’d ridden off, and he’d intended to apologize as soon as he managed to talk to her again, but now he wouldn’t ever get the chance. 

Karma’s still working as intended, I see, he thinks to himself bitterly. In front of him, he watches his wife at the front with Erwin engage her ODM gear and carry said man further ahead through the air, her team following suit. Soon Scouts are being plucked from horseback by the thirty-five or so soldiers whose gear was still in working order before being flown into a forest of tall, dense trees, and when they finally reach him he presses his soldiers and cadet forward; if anyone deserved to press ever onwards, to survive, it would be these younger soldiers who had so much more life ahead of them. 

After watching Cadet Ral be taken from in front of him by one of the cadets his wife led, Levi  lets out a shocked grunt as he’s suddenly lifted from the back of his horse, twisting in their grip only for his eyes to widen and a soft, “Oh,” to fall from his lips upon locking eyes with the very woman he’d been thinking about throughout the ride they’d had thus far. Her eyes were cold, her demeanor all business, and while he’d never admit it aloud, to Levi it stung. 

Behind them fresh screams sound, along with the noises of flesh being chewed and bones crunching as the wagon drivers are snatched from their seats by the titans that had caught up to them. Levi doesn’t look back, instead letting his vision be encompassed by his wife’s chest and shoulder as she flies him towards the trees that she and her soldiers had been dropping people off in. As they approach, one of her cadets and one of her seasoned soldiers zip by shouting in passing that they were going for the wagons with the others following as backup; Y/N had shouted back for them to be careful and to abandon the wagons if t came down to it, and then she’d fallen silent again until they’d landed on a high, thick tree branch. 

Over Y/N’s shoulder and in the distance, Levi sees her soldiers putting several horses on one wagon that they’d retrieved while her cadets pile all the rations that they can i to it before rushing out of the titan’s reach, the empty wagons following suit; normally he knew that Y/N would have told them to abandon the rations, but they were going through a tight time at the moment and not a bit could be wasted. 

Erwin approaches from further on the branch, waving to catch their attention. “Now what?” he asks quietly, and Levi’s almost too stunned to speak. He’s never known Erwin to not have a plan — then again, this was never something they’d had to prepare for, so it was understandable that he was reaching out now. 

“We’re pulling the wagons in; the titans can't get through due to how tightly packed the trees are here, so we’re safe — for now,” Y/N says gravely. “I’ve sent my men to fetch the horses still alive. After we got you up here the titans caught up to us — you’ve just gotta explain the plan to the soldiers.”

“And what plan is that?” he asks, quirking up an eyebrow.

“Every riderless Scout with dead ODM gear gets in an empty wagon. Scouts with working gear distract the titans, and the rest of you who are grounded make a mad dash for the walls,” she explains, looking down and watching as the final empty wagon is brought in, followed by the last three riderless horses. 

“Sounds simple enough,” Erwin murmurs, thinking it over with his chin in hand, and Y/N shrugs. 

“Sometimes simple is easiest.”

Levi watched silently alongside his team as well as Hange and theirs as Erwin shouted out the plan to the Scouts scattered through the trees, and immediately the Scouts with working gear switch ot their gas tanks and get to filling the wagons with soldiers. They only have about ten minutes, though, before screams begin to echo through the trees as the titans finally break through, crushing a large multitude of the horses. Levi looks on in shock as his own horse is squashed beneath a fifteen meter titan’s foot and Hange’s is kicked into a tree, and the feeling of hopelessness that had slowly began to lift from his body fills him again. 

“PLAN’S CHANGED, NOW RIDERLESS SOLDIERS: INTO THE DAMN WAGONS!” Erwin roars, and the remaining handful are quickly zipped down to wagons, Levi included. That’s how he found himself in a wagon with Erwin and Hange at the reins and Miche sitting next to him with all of their soldiers ( and Levi’s crying cadet ) fleeing the forest. Y/N flies away using her gear, killing a titan on the way to her flailing team, which she quickly pulls together and gives orders to. Levi watches shakily as she and her soldiers disappear out of his line of sight, and he’s forced to hold tight to the side of the wagon as they leave the hell they’d found themselves in behind them. 

It’s smooth riding for the longest, Erwin leading the wagons with ease and the Scouts with working gear performing beautifully to get the grounded soldiers back to the walls, but everything truly begins going downhill when a new titan appears from the left, rapidly approaching while running on all fours. Drool flew wildly through the air from its open mouth, and a few Scouts behind them screamed as it rapidly neared them. It lunges for Nanaba, but before it has the chance to reach her, sun flashes off of metal and titan blood slings through the air alongside the chunk of nape that would end the creature’s life. 

Squinting through the glare, Levi realizes that it’s Y/N — cold-eyed and nothing short of all business, she flies in front of the falling body to other titans that had heard the quadruped’s screeching and had run over. Their bodies fall heavily to the grassy terrain and throw up clouds of dirt and dust, making the Scouts who were grounded cough as they ride through it, which is when everything goes wrong. 

A final titan completely bypasses the baiting soldiers zipping through the air and forces itself between Levi’s wagon and the wagons behind them, drool flying and jaws snapping dangerously close to the wood. The dust cloud still hasn’t settled, so the knky thing the people in the back can see are haunting eyes and gnashing teeth. 

“SPEED THE FUCK UP, ERWIN!” Hange screeches, holding tight to his thick arm. 

“I’M GOING AS FAST AS THE HORSES CAN!” he roars back, glancing back in a panic just in time to see, yet again, Y/N zip in out of nowhere and rid the titan of focus on them and start making her attack on its weak spot. It bats at her while roaring in an almost cat-to-canary like way, and even from where he is Levi can see the rotting flesh caught between its teeth, blackened and no doubt putrid. Y/N throws herself up into the air before diving down and delivering the killing blow, turning to look at Levi’s wagon with faint concern as the beast’s body falls. 

The two seconds she took to look Levi in the eyes was all it took for a second titan to come out of the dust cloud and snatch one of her legs up to her hip in its mouth. 

Time seems to slow and her sudden, raw scream of pain echoes through Levi’s ears, his eyes widening in horror and shock as her leg is crushed between the beast’s teeth and the thing tosses its head to catch her other leg in its mouth. Her hands push weakly at the titan’s lips, trying to force herself out of its grip, but she’s already lost a leg and blood is still flowing so she’s too weak. The sounds of her squad, veteran soldiers and cadets alike, screaming her name and title respectively as she’s grossly chewed, her eyes wide yet misty and blood bubbling up through her lip, fill Levi’s ears, and he watches with his whole body shaking violently as the titan reaches up to grab her before biting down again, sending her hot blood splashing across his body and into his mouth, as well as onto his squad, Hange, and Miche. Everyone in the wagon is wailing, Erwin included, but Levi just shakes in his seat as blood drips down his face. His hair is soaked in it, he gags as it rolls down his throat unintentionally, and Levi hears Oruo vomit behind him at the sight of his wife being killed. 

Levi watches her, tears rolling down his cheeks endlessly, as her eyes dim and roll back in her head; her arms, once pushing as hard as they possibly could against the titan’s lips, slip once before succumbing to gravity and hanging limp over her head. With a lazy toss of its own head and a hard gulp, Y/N’s body rolls down the titan’s throat, and a raw wail of hurt echoes behind him as Erwin watches his best friend be swallowed. Levi doesn’t react to it, nor does he react to his other wagon-riding comrades’ screams, because he can barely understand what had happened. 

Y/N had been in his arms just that morning. She’d laughed and smiled at him, they’d made love and they’d shared breakfast, she’d kissed him no less than four times — and all day during the expedition she’d saved his life. Was there really any sort of possibility that she had really just died? Surely he’d hit his head somehow, his wife couldn’t be dead, she just couldn’t — he still hadn’t gotten to apologize to her for how he’d talked to her that morning, and he hadn’t gotten the chance to tell her he loved her before the expedition because of his attitude, he had to tell her. She couldn’t just… die before he could. 

Y/N’s disappearance down the titan’s throat is followed by the sounds of her team’s pained screams, sounds that immediately catch his attention, though it takes him a moment to force himself to look over. His eyes widen ever so slightly as he watches the four men and four fifteen year olds that made up his wife’s squad be plucked up one by one by titans as they mourned her life being lost midair, one unlucky cadet even being ripped in two vertically by two fighting titans. The blood of the eight soldiers splashes across the ground, joining their Captain’s and mixing well with it, their final screams and sobs echoing through the clearing and merging with the horror-stricken cries of fear from other Scouts. 

Levi forces himself to look away and squeezes his eyes shut so tightly that he hopes they’ll never open again; he can’t look out on this hell any more. Rage has yet to overtake him, the only thing filling his body right now is pain — she was dead, his wife was dead.

What was even the point of fighting in this hell anymore if he had no one in it worth saving?

𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 © { 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 } 𝐛𝐲 𝟒𝐈𝐙𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐒. 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐲, 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞, 𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭.

[irisxstardust]

1 | Shut Up

SUMMARY: You and Ellie used to be friends until one day when she decided she was done. You hadn't spoken to her since and now, five years later, you are given the unfortunate task of going on patrol with the girl. A little argument and one stalker later, you're playing her hero. But is it enough to repair the damage made to your relationship all those years ago?

A/N: wowzers. ive spent like two weeks going back and forth on this piece bc UGH i want to get into the cutie stuff but i like want that angst and slow burn yk. and i also want it to be good like this is my first real tumblr post and yall are such good writers ive got a lotta standards to meet. ugh pls tell me its not boring i dont want it to be boring since its not fluff. anyway there will be more but im not sure how fast ill be able to write it. i like really dk how many more parts i could make of this ngl like i just wanna make a happy amazing pt 2 where reader and ellie just like live happily ever after. also this is my first time writing in second person so pls give me grace if its bad lmfao. love you🫶🏻

CW: cursing, angst?/slow burn, fem!reader (she/her), CAT (🤮🤧😵‍💫)

WC: 3,688

You didn’t hate Ellie Williams, not in the slightest.

In fact, when you first met the girl you were impressed by her nonchalant attitude and how quickly she adjusted to life in Jackson. You admired the bond she shared with her companion, Joel - the closeness they shared, the softness of his voice when he spoke to her, the glint in her eyes when she looked at him. That didn’t mean you missed the way she stared off distantly in her free time, or the way she would talk to others with a certain tiredness in her voice; but it wasn’t like you could talk to her about it.

You weren’t friends with her. Well, not anymore.

Ellie and you were friends when she first arrived, you made sure of it. You were always bringing her things to make the adjustment easier: blankets, sweaters, new socks, ammunition, and a new hairbrush, among other things. She was grateful for it at first, always thanking you, hunting you down for movie nights, and inviting you over for dinner with Joel. But at some point you messed up - you did something wrong.

She slowly began to ignore you, she started returning your home-baked goods and stopped inviting you to her house to watch movies. She started to talk to you just as cold as she talked to the others. She didn’t like you anymore.

Eventually, probably tired of your haphazard attempts to fix your friendship, she snapped. You left her house in tears that day with your head down, shoulders hunched and wobbly, trying to cover the tear streaks with your hair.

Ever since you’d tried to ignore her, her words, and the wounds they made. It was hard when she consumed your every waking thought. You thought about Ellie all the time - what you did wrong, the way her hair bounced as she walked, what you said to make her hate you, that one time at dinner she accidentally choked on water and spit it out her nose, the look in her eyes as she yelled in your face, all of the science stuff she had hidden away in every crevice of her room.

Every thought you had about Ellie contradicted the other and it was all so confusing that every time you thought too hard about it your head spun.

So you quickly found yourself doing simple, menial tasks to keep your thoughts at bay. You were picking up every patrol you were allowed, volunteering at the daycare to help your mom care for the kiddos, spending any and all free time at your friends houses instead of yours. You always finished your house chores early in the morning, always walked your neighbors dog once before noon and once after, always doing whatever you could to stay out of your own mind.

So you forgot about Ellie - as best as you could, at least.

It almost worked, too. Five years you got away with it, hiding from your mind and from Ellie. Until today, the one day you had been dreading for years. The day you knew was coming.

You were partnered with Ellie for patrol.

At first, you'd spent the first three hours complaining to your friends - Jesse mostly ignored you, only cracking jokes here or there, and Dina just didn't understand why you hated Ellie so bad. Eventually you just gave in and stopped complaining, finding some solace under the heavy duvet on your bed.

Before Dina left your home she gave you a warm smile and said, "You're gonna do great." And then left you to your own devices, not realizing she was leaving you to rot in your own brain.

When the time came to get up and get ready, you found yourself picking through your clothes, trying to find the cleanest shirt to wear and the pants that fit you the best. You wanted to look nice, most people would, but you weren't sure if it was for you or for her.

You walked nervously towards the stables, taking firm, heavy breaths as you shoved your hands into your jacket pockets.

"It'll be okay... It'll be okay," you chanted the words under your breath as you neared the stables, clenching and unclenching your sweaty fists.

When you arrived, Ellie was already leading Shimmer along to the exit, hardly glancing at you.

"You're late." She said, sucking on her teeth.

You nodded slowly, inhaling sharply, "I am aware..." speaking slowly and cautiously, trying not to poke the bear. "I kind of have my own stuff, though," the pitch of your voice raised slightly, as if you were unsure of your own words, "so I got here as fast as I could."

She scoffed, her head shaking slightly which sends her short strands of hair bouncing around her ears. "Just get the fucking horse."

You walked off hastily, unfurling Japan's reigns - when Dina didn't take him out, you did, because you both liked to make sure he had enough exercise everyday. You walked him down to meet Ellie at the gate.

Ellie was standing on one foot, shifting her weight every now and then and rubbing her palms down the length of her thighs; almost as if she was rubbing something off of them. She rubbed her thumbs on Shimmer's reigns nervously, head darting back and forth to see if you were close or not.

When you came into her line of sight, she hardened up and stood taller. Her face sharpened and her eyes filled with the same distance that kept you up at night, though today they also harbored another emotion, one you were no longer privy with.

It filled you with a sense of confusion and dread, causing you to mumble incoherently under your breath.

"Fucking Williams... cold as shit... pain in my ass..." you muttered as you mounted your horse.

Giving you one last weary look, Ellie also mounted her horse. She pulled her fingers through her hair, tucking it back behind her ear as the two of you left Jackson.

The horses trotted slowly, easily stepping over the tree roots in the ground as if they had the whole route memorized.

For you, this was one of the few routes you hardly visited. It wasn't too far from Jackson, but it was just far enough that you knew it'd take up the rest of your day.

As your eyes danced between the trail ahead of you and Ellie beside you, you didn't know what to think.

Sure, you'd thought of all the ways you would yell at her and all the things you'd say if you ever got the chance again; but you'd also thought of all the ways you'd make it up to her, all the things you wanted to say to let her know you weren't the same person you used to be.

What did it matter, anyway?

You were stuck here, letting your old wounds sit and fester in the bitterness of it all. You were stuck here, next to her but unable to fill the empty silence with words. You were stuck here, on patrol with the one person who hates your guts and you couldn't do anything about it.

"It's not polite to stare, you know."

Her voice echoed through the dense trees, bouncing off branches and leaves only to worm its way back into your brain.

"I'm sorry?" you hummed, caught off guard by the sound.

Her head slightly turned in your direction and Shimmer slowed down to a light trot, matching Japan's speed. "It's not polite to stare."

Her words were much sharper the second time around, with much more emphasis placed upon them.

She's angry. Amazing. You scoffed to yourself, trying to keep hold of your composure.

"I wasn't staring..." you paused. You almost said her name, but the word caught in your throat. "At you. I wasn't staring at you."

She glanced at you sideways before she continued, "you were."

"Was not!"

"Were too."

"I wasn't staring-!"

There it was again. You'd almost said her name, but it got caught in the back of your throat, which left you to haphazardly cut off your sentence and leave her hanging, waiting for it.

She scoffed. "Yes, you were."

You closed your mouth and pressed your lips into a line, "I wasn't fucking staring at you, Williams."

"So you stare at me, deny it when I tell you it's impolite, and then can't even use my name?" She stopped her horse, leaning back in the saddle as she spoke.

And the words get caught in your throat. Your mouth dried as you slowed your own horse.

"I used your name," you whispered, blinking away the wetness in your eyes.

She laughed sourly, pulled on Shimmer's reigns and began to trot ahead of you again.

You sighed at the bitterness brewing in the pit of your stomach. You certainly fucked that up - but was it entirely your fault? Surely some of that had to go to Ellie too - I mean she's the one who broke off your friendship... she's the one who yelled at you for "staring." You weren't staring in the first place... right?

You began to question yourself, yet again, as Ellie spoke up once more.

"You're still staring."

And suddenly it's almost as if you could hear the smirk she had on her face.

"Could you fucking not? Please? I'm just trying to get to the tower and go home alive. I don't want to deal with this bullshit too."

"Stop fucking staring then," she whipped around to face you. "I definitely didn't ask for this either, so stop being a baby and get over it."

You clenched your fists and brought one to your face, rubbing your eyes with your palm.

"I'm not staring at you, El-"

You stopped talking after you finally looked directly into her eyes, catching sight movement behind her.

She began to scoff but suddenly stopped as your face changed.

"What?"

"Shut up."

You tilted your head to the side, narrowing your eyes as you focused on a shadowy figure hidden in the trees.

The figure stilled under a long branch, the leaves creating long shadows which warped around the curves of the figure.

Slowly, you reached for the pistol strapped to your thigh. Ellie's face scrunched in a mix of confusion and worry.

"Don't," you breathed, "move."

At the sound of your sharp exhale the figure screeched and aimed for Ellie, its dark eyes fixated on her.

You brought the gun up, aiming and pulling the trigger as fast as you could, but the stalker was hardly affected by the single bullet.

Ellie whipped around, yelping once before the stalker jumped on her and yanked her off of Shimmer. The stalker pinned her to the ground, its teeth already bared and ready to bite.

You pulled the trigger again. And again. And again. Until eventually the stalker slumped down above Ellie.

She pushed it off and brought herself to her feet, head whipping around to look for others.

"Do you see any more?" you asked as you scanned the area.

She shook her head, "I don't think so... holy shit."

You both sat quietly for a moment as you tried to process what just happened.

"Thanks- thanks for uh, for that," she panted, mounting Shimmer again and looking around, "that was close."

For a moment you were rendered speechless, trying to piece the puzzle back together in your brain before responding. "Yeah... of course," you paused, adding lightly, "s'what friends do." It came out a little mumbled but you knew she heard it.

You didn't keep your eyes on hers long enough to gauge her reaction, but you figured it was one full of something negative. You looked up one last time and caught her eyes, the strangest look on her face, before turning back down and looking away.

"The tower's just up that way," you hesitated, waiting for her to say - or do - something. To do anything. But she didn't, so you continued, "there shouldn't be any more in the area, they just cleared it last week."

You shifted on the saddle, cringing slightly, urging Japan to move forward again.

The rest of your route went okay - you didn't encounter anymore infected and the area is mostly barren anyway so you didn't find anything worthwhile. The tower was cleared already, too, so you and Ellie mostly found solace in your own thoughts for the rest of the route.

She didn't mention the staring thing again, opting to keep quiet instead, but you could feel her eyes meeting the side of your head every now and then.

You didn't say anything to her as you re-entered Jackson, walking side by side to the stables to put the horses back.

Ellie was brushing out Shimmer's mane as she opened her mouth to speak, "hey, thanks for earlier. Seriously. It means a lot."

You nodded, "no worries," and you paused, unsure of what to say next. Before you could, Ellie spoke up again.

"And sorry, by the way," she said, eyes darting around the stables, "for being mean."

At that, you found yourself completely dumbfounded, eyes wide, staring across the stables at her. And before you had the chance to recover from the shock she was flying out of the stables, probably heading back to Joel's house.

Within the next four minutes you'd rushed to Dina's, tripping and stumbling over your own feet, heart pounding and mind racing.

"She apologized?" Dina asked incredulously, eyebrows raised and lips turned downward, "for real?"

You shrugged, "I guess. I can't believe it either."

"Yeah, dude, she hated you for years but you play hero once and now she likes you again?" Jesse laughed, shaking his head, "bullshit."

"I never said she liked me again, Jesse. I was just telling you what happened. She apologized. That's what happened."

"Maybe she realized you aren't that bad," Dina smiled.

"Oh thanks, Dee, I'm honored."

Dina chuckled, leaning towards you and smacking your shoulder playfully, "and it's about time."

You paused, chewing on your lip as you thought of the day's events over and over and over again.

"I hope this is a new beginning for you guys, you deserve it."

You stopped your thinking, pulling yourself out of your thoughts to respond with a smile, "thanks, Dee."

"So, now that that's out of the way," Dina smiled suggestively, narrowing her eyes and raising her eyebrows, "you want to come to the bar with us later? Everyone's gonna be there."

You couldn't miss the suggestive tone in her voice, the way it dropped a pitch and she gained a mischievous glint in her eyes.

You hummed, "are they? Good for them."

Dina sighed exhaustedly, "c'mon! You never come with us! It'll be so much fun, I promise!"

"I don't know, Dina. You know I'm not one for parties."

"Well, you are tonight," she tapped the palm of her hand against the table, "because you are coming with me and we are going to dance all night and have so much fun. So much so, in fact, that you're going to completely forget how much you hate parties!"

"Oh, is that right?" You smiled as you began to chuckle.

She hummed, a particularly big grin splattered on her face.

"Yeah, your new best friend might be there too," Jesse added, which earned a nasty look from you and a disapproving look from Dina.

"Shut up!" Dina shouted, turning her attention to Jesse - which only threw you right back into your own head.

After Dina snapped you out of it, and after a lot more begging and pleading on her part, you agreed. It couldn't be that bad - right?

The party was nothing short of what you'd expected.

It was loud, crammed, kind of smelly, and definitely not the place you wanted to be spending your time.

But every time you caught Dina's eyes or you looked over in her direction, the smile on her face was enough to make you feel so deeply guilty that you stayed put. You stayed with her if she brought you out to dance and you stayed with her if she brought you to the bar to get a new drink.

It wasn't a surprise when you noticed Ellie at the bar, nursing a cold cup, staring at you with a conflicting expression. It also wasn't a surprise when Dina grabbed your hand and started dragging you in her direction, giving you one last reassuring smile.

It was a surprise, however, when Ellie greeted Dina with a hug and you with a smile.

She smiled at you.

Completely unable to quickly recover, you let Dina do the talking, trying to calm your racing heart.

"Hey, El! How're you doing?" she had to shout over the music but you knew Ellie could hear her - everyone could hear Dina.

"Pretty good! You okay?"

They began to exchange pleasantries and all the usual small talk, so you spaced out for a moment, waiting for the moment Dina would pull you away again. That moment didn't come, however, because Dina ran off without you.

"Wait - where's she going?" you yelled, eyes finally meeting Ellie's.

"Said she was gonna grab Jesse," Ellie began, eyes scanning over your outfit. "You want a drink?"

You hesitated, thinking over what happened during patrol. You lost yourself, again, and began mulling over what you could say and how she would possibly respond.

But then you began speaking, your mind not caught up yet.

"Sure!"

Ellie's face relaxed a little, and she waved you over towards a quieter area of the bar. The flannel tucked up to her elbows showcased the way her muscles flexed as she signaled Seth over to your side of the bar.

"You doing okay?" You asked as Seth walked away. "It just... looked like that stalker shook you up a bit."

She nodded, "Yeah, yeah. It was a little," she shrugged and let out a mangled noise, "nerve wracking." You both laughed.

Seth dropped your drink in front of you, giving you a sideways glance before returning to the packed end of the bar.

"You know how it goes, though," she finished. "I'm good."

"Well, that is certainly a plus."

Her lips tugged into a small grin, making you mirror the expression.

"Thanks again, by the way."

"Hey, we were partners. It was my job to have your back."

You both laughed again.

And you fell back into it. Into that easy-going, comfortable rhythm you had with her so many years ago. It was like no time had passed at all; like you were fourteen again.

And even when Dina came back she didn't hide it. You were finally able to openly talk to your two friends together again. It was like a dream.

"Hey, Ellie!" No. "I haven't seen you in forever!" No. "You look so good!" No.

"Oh! Hey, Cat!"

No.

You could almost taste the tension that had suddenly built up around the three of you; the sudden change in the air sending your head reeling and heart pounding.

Ellie and Cat exchanged pleasantries (not like you were interested or anything) as you suddenly honed in on a weirdly shaped ice cube in your drink. Poking at it with your straw, you waited for Cat to leave, holding your breath.

And in less than five minutes, you fell out of it.

You fell out of your rhythm, Ellie already ten beats ahead of you while you seemed to have changed rhythms completely.

When Cat did (finally) leave you let out a shaky breath, watching as even Ellie noticed the shift in you.

"Sorry," she said sheepishly, mostly directing the apology to Dina. She turned to face Dina straight on now, no longer moving her eyes between the two of you.

"You're fine," Dina brushed it off quickly, seemingly unaware of the sudden awkwardness.

"I should uh... go anyway. Joel's waiting for me, so... you know."

"Oh, yeah, sure. We should go soon too," Dina draped an arm around your shoulders, "I have kept someone here for way too long. She's getting a little antsy." She gave you a pointed smile, a teasing tone lacing her voice.

Ellie gave Dina a half-hearted chuckle before standing and hugging her. She gave you a very awkward, sideways, one armed hug before turning around and almost running out of the building.

"You want to go now or wait a little-"

"Can we go, Dina?" you rushed, clenching your eyes shut as you rubbed the balls of your palms into your eyes. "I'm just... really tired."

Dina stared at your face, her eyes scanning yours, for an extra beat before nodding, "Yeah, of course."

At home you spent the rest of your night hiding under your duvet, pulling at large chunks of your hair with your fists, digging your heels into your bed; all the way until you finished the night tiredly blinking away tears and chewing at your lips.

It was all so confusing. One minute you're dreading even looking at her and the next you're talking and laughing with her like you're best friends - and then? Then you're sitting there like the two of you never started talking again at all, all because Ellie said hi to an old friend.

One minute she's talking to you, then the next she's talking to you through Dina.

You woke in the morning with blood dried on your lips and dark bags under your eyes. You found it hard to keep your eyes open as you brushed your teeth, and one look in the mirror showed that you were in no state to leave your home anytime soon.

Your parents left quickly for work, not giving you a second glance even as you asked them to clear your schedule for the day.

Around noon you received a familiar knock at the door, and when you opened it you saw a face that hadn't graced your porch in a few years.

"Hey, Ellie," you paused, panicking internally. "What's up?"

"Do you want to talk?"

[annabellelupin]

thoughts I've had while re reading poa as a marauders fan, part one (chapters 1 - 4)

(id just like to point out this is my first time reading the books since middle school and first time I've read the books since I became a marauders fan in 2020)

chapter 1

- ok so ye the Weasleys are really poor, but if they're "extremely poor" you'd figure they'd use their money for something other than a vacation

-I forgot sweet little hedwig existed djdjdjdkdjd

-someone please eat the rat

-let the future cat have him pleaseeeee

-why did I start to dislike hermione so much again??? maybe it's just movie hermione I hate and I can't remember the differences between the two

chapter 2

-why are most of the antagonistic characters portrayed as fat and why is the fact that dudley is obese brought up so many fucking times like that seems pretty fat phobic of you Rowling

- when actually reading and thinking about the Harry potter books and movies I imagine the actor that played sirius and not the fanart marauders sirius I'm more used to, and apparently his hair is depicted as elbow length in the books not shoulder length WE WERE ROBBED. could have had long haired sirius with a bun in ootp

- also I swear marauders Era Sirius and golden trio era Sirius (so canon and fanon sirius) are two completely different people in my mind

- also forgot "muggle" news talked about sirius

-just finished the chapter and seriously he is so sassy (guess that's what you get when you're Sirius and marlenes godson, and James and Lily's actual son)

- also I really fucking hate how much mental abuse is glazed over here like????

- it happens every summer and he's forced to return to his abusers like wtf

- this is why I don't like Dumbledore very much

chapter 3

-forgot padfoot wasn't like an actual dog sized dog

-lowkey forgot about padfoot in general ngl

-bro harry are your really throwing precious and innocent Neville under the bus rn come on dude seriously

-ok like when they mention Sirius I can't help to think of the dramatic, gay, Remus obsessed Sirius from all of the wolfstar text posts I've read

-also the fact they have to clarify what a gun is in the wizard news is wow

-same with Ron not knowing how to use a phone

-no wonder these people keep having Wizarding wars and unstable teachers at their schools

- love how this 13 year old kid is panicking over the possibility of going to wizard prison for breaking one rule

-also side note the more I read the more I feel like Daniel Radcliffe portrayed him super well

- hedwig supremacy

- "ur the literal wizard president" "yea but I'm not ur guardian dumbass I can't sign ur permission slip what in hell is this"

- why is reading stans parts so fucking hard

chapter 4

- ah Florean Fortescue the one genuinely nice adult in these books (isn't he like Alice's dad or something?) I just remembered her last name is actually more or less a headcanon uhhh that's fun

- the Irish quidditch team are actually mentioned along with the quidditch world cup even Harry's checkin out the firebolt

- coincidence that Dean and Seamus are mentioned at the same time? I think not

- seriously jkr why do you keep giving kids abusive gaurdians and acting like it's nothing (talking about Neville and his grandmother)

- "...Ron looking incredibly freckly, Hermione very brown..." (pg 55 in my book). when first reading this part years ago I registered it as Hermione was black/poc and not that she was just tan from the sun lmao

- I swear crookshanks was James' old cat and that's why he hated peter

- also Percy wow this why you don't befriend stray rats man

- the things this rat has seen go on in Percy's and Oliver's dorm room....

- still probably not as bad sharing a dorm with Remus and Sirius tho

- I love the twins sense of humor

- but guys stop messing with my precious baby Percy he's just- an autistic overachiever doing his best guys

- ..."he lost everything..." Yes Sirius did in fact lose almost everything Arthur but not bc what you think happened dude

- "he's safe with Dumbledore-" yea fucking right /sar

- "stationniong soul sucking demons around a school is such a good idea hehehehe" /sar

- literally there's no fucking way McGonagall thought Sirius did it- literally fucking refuse to believe that she did

going to start another post for chapter 5 bc oh boy it's going to be long

[spookfished]

media roundup february

hi everybody :3 i didnt really read a lot in february i was busy 'doing school' and 'looking for employment.' sad! i have spring break coming up so im planning on using that time to read a bunch (and also apply for more jobs -_-) this post and previous can be found on my neocities!

books:

revenant gun by yoon ha lee: the last book in the hexarchate series, starting with ninefox gambit. (slightly edited from my discord review, SPOILERS INCOMING). in machineries of empire, there a disconnect between what the audience craves and what the book is willing to give them-- for example, things like Whats up with the calendar + the hexarchate, why did jedao do all that, etc. this works in the books favor (imo) by increasing tension, creating a sense of discovery, and avoiding clunky exposition.

however in the two sequels it expands not just to what the audience wants but also what they like. care about? some big examples are the weight of the remembrances* and less cheris, but also stuff like jedaos focus. which isnt bad like i like jedao. but like, if you Dont you sure do get a lot of him. also did anyone actually like brezan sorry. hes fine like for example with the end of a memory called empire, when the protag (forgot her name sorry) loses her brain buddy, it feels like a second coming of age almost--her brain buddys been a crutch but now she gets to stand on her own (albeit as a changed person, with brain buddys influence). vs cheris who kinda starts to feel like a cameo character who literally fucks off for nine years??? there is also a sort of ongoing sense of "these sacrifices for the greater good are ok (if sad) and these are not" whihc ngl sometimes feels pretty arbitrary to me. and given that machineries of empire focuses on like the Littlest most downtrodden people it really is wild yhat we dont see a lot of civilian life? anyways i enjoyed it and i think its worth finishing out the trilogy but it wasnt as satisfying as i could have hoped (ALSO NINEFOX GAMBIT IS A REALLY FUN SOLID READ. I LIKED IT A LOT)

*the rememberances are a set of ritualized tortures that create a power structure that literally powers a lot of the empire's technology. this is a very cool concept! a big part of jedao and cheris' rebellion is about making a place that Doesnt have to run on torture. except that like, besides the intellectual knowledge that Torture Is Bad as a reader i didnt really feel that invested in this? like we only get to See a remembrance happening midway thru book 3. im not like advocating for torture porn or anything but it seems weird to have that be the focal thing when neither cheris nor jedao had any scenes where they were affected by it (and so the audience didnt have anything like that either). idk it kinda just stood out to me. like yes i care about these characters but why should i care about This specifically

hexarchate stories by yoon ha lee: an anthology set in the world of machineries of empire, expanding the world and fleshing out some stories. this was pretty solid! theres a wide range of stories and lengths, and i liked the variety :3 its like a little charcuterie board. (yoon ha lee's bias for shuos jedao really stands out here though..) its kinda essential reading to me imo though bc otherwise the ending of revenant gun isnt that satisfying :| lol anyways once again if youve read ninefox gambit check it out! spoilers for the whole series tho

exordia by seth dickinson: hard scifi about agency, impossible choices, and how they shape you. also, international geopolitics! like ninefox gambit, exordia demands your attention and concentration. you kinda have to read it at a time when you have brainpower to spare. however, exordia rewards everything that you put into it :3 i ended up learning so many random facts during this book… like AGL meaning above ground level. i feel like i need to read a book about democratic confederalism now also. a couple of my other friends read this book and got lost in the large cast and intricate web of events--i didnt have as much of an issue but u might need a piece of paper or sth. exordia is a book that's dense enough to feel like three books, and that can be good or bad. seth dickinson has this really spare, concise prose that leaves a lot to your imagination but also like. can sum up a person or situation in just a couple sentences? and that leaves a lot of room for the reader to investigate which i like :3 hm what else to say…. i really liked clayton (clayton!!!!) but i found erik super annoying ymmv. the ending kinda leaves you at a loss which i honestly kinda like? like yeah obv a sequel would be nice but i like it the way it is. anyways not for the faint of heart but id still recommend<3

accidentally engaged by farah heron: f/m romance aww so cute <3 really nice contemporary romance which tosses together a bunch of tropes--arranged romance, fake dating, baking together--into something that actually works really well! the two leads were very charming and i liked reading about the good food. i liked the way the protagonist's almost-stereotypical portrait of a loving but strict south asian family (am i allowed to say this) gets fleshed into a group of honestly kinda bizarre people that love her and that reena can genuinely connect with. yay family! overall, not especially memorable to me personally but still enjoyable. rec if youre into contemporary romance

last breath: the limits of adventure: realistic fiction (?) about what it feels like to drown, die of dehydration, fall from a cliff, etc. lots of research, very thorough! (well sometimes they live and sometimes they dont). an expansion of this absolutely fantastic article about hypothermia. honestly none of the stories quite live up to this one imo but this is still a really solid and exciting read! i couldnt put it down! although it does have a touch of the orientalism that you get from like, a lot of extreme sports circles lol. i would definitely recommend reading the article, and maybe read the book if it especially interests you.

video games:

pokemon legends of arceus: a pokemon game set in the past that breaks the mold by letting you dodge roll. my opinions here coincide pretty closely with the dunkey video, which is that this is a really fun game that is also literally half finished. controls are clunky, story is paper thin, graphics are fucked, overworld is extremely empty but its also just very fun?? it took over my life for like two weeks and i missed class???? anyways i would not get this at full price but if you can borrow it from a friend its super interesting to experience. im looking forward to the kalos one :3

slay the princess: a horror? romance? visual novel about saving the princess, slaying tbe princess, and everything in between featuring the vocal chops of that one magnus archives guy. dudeee this is so fun! i think its very kind to the guy inside of me who is Embarrassingly Anxious about any and all video game choices that can like, affect the narrative. lmfao its fun to fit in a couple runs or two between other things, but i did start losing track of what previous paths id taken after a bit of a gap. however!!! i would definitely think about playing this game if you like visual novels or Narrative or Loops! or girls who kill lol theres a free demo if you want to try it out

movies:

velocipastor: action movie about a priest who turns into a velociraptor to punish the wicked!!!! so fucking cool a lot of love put into this (low budget) movie made me so sad i dont speak cantonese (? at least i think thats what it was) watch this with friends

music:

Gato by nobonoko: really fun 80s synth jazz? album written by two fictional gay furries. no wait come back ok this is one of those things i got recommended by youtube and then actually listened to it a bunch of times its just very soothing and nice :3 ive been listening to jazz pretty much my whole life so i have a huge bias. also im a sucker for fictional bands eg splatoon… also the art is so cute?? those two guys?? its hard to pick a favorite song but i think i like the titular gato! also theres a bunch of other stuff made by the same two artists

option by Crosses: i totally forgot what the genre for this is but its like when metal guys are like i need to have a song for my metal wedding. song recommended by neil -_- anyways very sappy im fond of it nonetheless. i definitely did think it said "can you promise me to the grave"

Roy by Idles: from british rock band idles new album tangk! im going to be honest i did not like this album as much as some of the other ones by idles, but thats ok! hmm when i play this song out loud during crew shifts i feel embarrassed. but i really like seeing how idles' vocalist's voice has evolved over time! the way hes branched out into more melodic and belty stuff over time is very fun. the prechorus + chorus are very fun to sing along to as well :3 its just a fun song

anyways if you read any portion of this thanks as always :3 what else to say.. i made pandesal recently and its been my only successful bread that i can remember. go me! anyways see you guys in a bit

[class-1b-bull]

class 1-b kids having a best friend (or love interest teehee) that looks scary because of their quirk but is really super friendly and bubbly?

Not proofread we die like men

Awase - he honestly thinks its really cool. He may tease you ever so often saying your his guard dog and stuff like that lmao

Sen - he loves taking pictures of/with you and seeing peoples reactions when he shows them to someone (only because he knows they will get whiplash when they actually meet you)

Kamakiri - he honestly loves it ngl. Like you are both some intimidating fuckers that no one would dare to approach (and thats just how he likes thing lmaoo)

Kuroiro - he tries to get all emo about how your scary appearance and personality contradict yet compliment eachother (like yin and yang)

Kendo - shes a firm believer of not judging a book by its cover and you are a great example of why she doesnt do that <3

Kodai - she is an unbothered queen. She truly does not give a fuck and we love her for that. Seriously tho she doesnt care how you look as long as your a nice person to be around.

Komori - she constantly tries to dress you up in cute clothes that 'match your personality' but it somehow makes you scarier.

Shiozaki - she would honestly be a little intimated at first but once she gets to know you and relizes you were nothing like she thought she would pray for forgiveness lmao

Shishida - he was honestly a tad intimated when he first met you but now that he knows your personality he finds your contradictory looks to be kinda funny

Shoda - poor dude is already shy and a bit scared of interacting with people so he nearly jumped out of his skin when you went up to him to say hi for the first time. Over time he eventually found you to be a very calming presence for him

Pony - like komori, she tries to dress you up to make you look more like your personality and you both get a kick out of it. (Imagine your worst nightmare dressed as a cat maid lmao)

Tsubaraba - he honestly finds it hilarious and he jokes about it a lot (all light hearted jokes obviously)

Tetsutetsu - he finds your 'scary' appearance to be manly and cool asf. He constantly asks you to work out with him because you could look even cooler if you looked like you could beat the shit out of a bear :D - his words not mine

Tokage - when she first met you she almost got whiplash from how different your personality and looks are. She finds you to be cool asf tho (even tho she was a bit intimated at first)

Manga - he draws you two different ways. Way one is almost like the scary (but badass) and ominous villain at the end of a video game, the other way is like all the things nice in the world were blended into that drawing and somehow they are both correct.

Honenuki - he honestly adores it. Theres been once or twice in his life where hes been told he looks scary so he is kinda the same way lol

Bondo - he was scared of you at first, not because of your appearance but because of your personality. Hes one of the more quiet and shy members of the class so hes allways a tad nervous when meeting someone so energetic. (You both eventually became good friends tho)

Monoma - he teases the shit out of you but at the same time hes very wary around you. He doesnt want to piss off someone scary (especially if their in the better class)

Reiko - she thinks you look cool asf and she loves spending time with you. No metter how long she has known you tho, she will be caught off guard by your personality

Rin - he was a bit intimated at first but over time, once he got to know you, the two of you became good friends and he even forgot that he was ever scared of you to begin with

Sorry for not posting for a week my cat had surgery <3 I will be clearing out my drafts soon tho <3

(This is my cat btw) (she has a massive bald spot on her butt/thigh rn because of her surgery lol)

[rui-drawsbox]

I’ve got so much work recently that the brain ain’t filled up yet but I have a couple ideas for the magical girl au :):):):) back on my usual bullshit lmao ✨✨✨

K so these mfers (Knights + Mika + Shu(eventually, give him time, a season two breakdown and a redemption arc) ) should go song karaoke together. They deserve it after all the horrors tbh. The little doll man should get to experience the epic highs and lows of awful greasy pizza at an establishment that isn’t a restaurant. Tsukasa, Izumi, and Shu should also be subjected to it tbh. Tsukasa might like it <3 Izumi and Shu however… malding, screaming and dying even.

Anyways it would be funny as hell if Shu also went to school with the knights. Cuz he’s the same age as Izumi and Leo anyways. Bruh, Arashi could just think that Shu is Mika’s crush 💀💀💀. On god that could make for some top tier comedic interactions. Mostly Arashi teasing Mika about his crush, and Mika frantically trying to assure her that it isn’t a crush cuz he wouldn’t be caught dead catching feelings for his boss. Meanwhile the idea that he could have a crush on his boss has been planted in the back of his mind and it’s only gonna keep growing. I feel like this would be funny for two reasons, one: hijinks, two: bigger emotional payoff when Mika does decide to leave him <<<333 break both of their hearts in one foul swoop.

also Leo being a menace to Shu. They should be in the same class. It would be funny.

Back on my fighting bullshit. I feel like Shu would never fight with his hands or with blades tbh. I feel like he would use a bunch of smaller dolls after losing Mika. Ones that he considers imperfect or something, idk man, something symbolic. + the dolls could almost look like they’re already falling apart and they deteriorate more and more as his mental state deteriorates (not as an in universe thing, just as a visual symbol for the audience to emphasize that Shu is breaking down lmao)

Also Shu and Mika should kiss. Arashi is the #1 wing woman tbh. I love her so much. She deserves to wear a pretty dress like in those super magical girl forms. Like madoka’s at the end of madoka magica when she does the thing, or any of the really powerful forms in precure.

also arashi should punch Shu in the face at one point. I’m thinking about him getting her sword away from her with dolls and being like “Hah! It seems as if you weren’t prepared for this eventuality girl! Kakakakaka! Now that I’ve disarmed you it’s impossible for you to defeat me! Now then, if you’ll excuse me I have more important matters to-” “AGHH!? You, you ignorant girl! You, you imbecile! Why I can’t believe you would-“ she raised her fist again so he finally shut the fuck up. He’s learning 🥰🥰🥰. Mika is probably upset about Shu getting punch tbh. Like he knows why Shu deserved it but he’s still a bit upset. He ain’t mad tho. Shu needed to have some sense beaten into him for once ✨✨✨.

I’m done for now ✨🥰✨🥰✨😎😎😎😎

I kind of want to write out a whole anime plot tbh. If I actually get around to finishing my current fic I might write an outline for this sometime tbh. If I get it done I’ll probably come drop it in your ask box unannounced. Or I’ll make a post and @you in it cuz that might be easier if it’s a whole ass outline.

I love ur ideas even though i forgot answer this ngl JSBDKS Drawings to compensate! It's the only i can do haha!

Anyways, this scene is definitely in the ending of the second season or an OVA about the 7 having daily adolescence adventures like they should had since the start lol

I feel like Leo would be an usual costumer in the karaoke, actually, this would be the group's hideout jsbfjs

Now, I love the idea of Mika staring too long to Shu in the corridors of the school and then Arashi notices and starts teasing him

Mika: no way i could possibly like my boss! He's just so cool and composed and smart and-

Shu, in his classroom:

And yes i think Shu and Mika should kiss, but i also think that Arashi and Mika should kiss, so my offer is:

Arashi: this is my boyfriend, Mika. And this Mika's boyfriend, Shu.

Basically, shumika=second chance trope, aramika=friends to lovers trope. And i love it

You know that i was thinking exactly the same about Shu's powers? He could never fight someone by himself, he would break before a finger lands on him jabfjsj

So yeah, i belive that he would have a dolls/mannequin army. In the first episodes he only uses Mika because he's the strongest, but when he loses him he would starts using unfinished dolls to fight, and with the pasta of episodes there would be more and more dolls but with a worse quality! Like Mika>Metal dolls>Wood dolls>Ceramic/industrial mannequins?. They would start being extremely fragile, like his mental stability😊!

You know Santa Clous from Chainsaw Man? Yeah i see Shu with a similar power but less OP ofc. Like he can control the movements/minds(?) of his artificial dolls but not people, Mika is the exception! Because Mika considered himself like Shu's doll! Once he starts making choices by himself he couldnt be controlled anymore!

Back to Arashi, im 100% sure that her powerup/god form has longer hair, following the more hair=more power formula. I also want to give the nerf or smth that have so much power she has to lose a lot of her humanity sense! She would become this "Justice God" or smth without emotions and the rest of her friends would have to fight/convince her back into normal!

Now. Yes. Arashi should punch people. Arashi should beat the shit out of people. Arashi should beat the shit out of Shu. I didn't gave her armor gloves for nothing.

Yes. Queen. Be scary. Be intimidating. Be your enemy's worst nightmare.

And you want to write the plot while i want to anímate the fucking fight scenes oUT OF MY HEAD I SWEAR IT WOULD LOOK SO COOL IF I KNEW HOW TO ANIMATE UGHH

I would love to read whatever you write about this au too! I'll read every ask you drop here even if i take forever to answer haha;;

[cutechickdgaming]

Day 4 actually done

June almost over, so yay less anxiety over being judged for my beliefs (and less second-hand embarrassment from Twitter mfs, like have you seen that one post about someone being upset about less companies changing into rainbow logos because “it’s not profitablely sound anymore to openly support LGBTQ+”, like rainbow capitalism wants MONEY not change) I MEAN getting this thing out.

some are my thoughts for Kwazii are in here https://www.tumblr.com/cutechickdgaming/721533875922354176/day-4-incomplete-ek-dangit-i-was-having-issues?source=share

infodump on funny (accidental) trans mallard duck incoming

This was the duo piece I wanted to get done, but boy was this duck HARD to color, all these airbrush stuff...She’s nice though. I forgot her name in English, but from my childhood, I’m betting 50 dollars her name is Diana. All the ducks’ names started with d in the English dub of Bird Squad. It’s hard for me to pinpoint her exact name in Italian due to the available Italian episodes not specifying what names belong to which duck, but in French, she’s Caroline.

If anyone has a grasp on duck plumage...yeah. I’m guessing it was overlooked, I mean Bird Squad doesn’t have the best accuracy to animals, like Marius being HUGE for an Indian blackbird or Humphrey/Brio flapping his wings up and down while real hummingbirds flap in a figure-eight. If Caroline was mottled brown like a female mallard, then it’d be harder to distinguish her from the group. It’d make sense for her canon plumage design to indicate that she’s AMAB (mtf). Also she’s vibing with the acrobatic duck squad, ngl they seem like a hive mind lmao.

Soo in terms of being trans, one is implied (and totally fine by Meomi) from the OG book typos, one is literally on the screen if you have an iota of knowledge on sexual dimorphism in ducks.

Ima go wrap up my infodumping rq, SO I have a bit of a like-hate relationship with the ducks. They are arguably the most valuable members to the Squad, saving creatures’ lives several times in the season (Pina/Penny the penguin in episode 1, Chou-Chou/Amelie in Jolie Owl, Ticchio/Willy the woodpecker in The Cuckoo Big Ben, Barbara the INFLATED whale in the Krakatoa episode, Diego the seagull in the Barcelona episode, the stork’s eggs from a flaming chimney in the Bavaria episode, and much more), so they’re practically gigachads. BUT I’m questioning the necessity of making their dumptrucks THAT BIG. Maybe it’s all muscle, but God are they CURSED. Italian children’s TV is built different, man.

Enough birb talk, this is Octonauts Week, have my belated pride and I’ll do days 5 and 6 later.