#i almost wanna ask some of the ppl i knew when i was young but like it's a weird question

[artsybi]

so y'all know that bad trope that happens when a bilingual character is written by a non-bilingual author and they do that "oh it's hard to switch back sometimes" thing or just use random words from their other language when speaking to non-bilingual characters? i have realized,,,, i am the second one.

like, i'm not bilingual by any stretch, i barely speak english and it's my first and only language lol, but i am a quarter italian and my aunt spent a year in italy when she was in college, and speaks the language because of it, and, though i didn't realize it, she used a handful of italian words around me when i was growing up, and i still use some of them to this day, like, okay, example, y'all know chickpeas? garbanzo beans? yeah i always called them "ceci beans" until like,,,, literally two years ago? and it never occurred to me that ceci isn't an english word because i never wrote it down, and everyone i used it around figured it out from context, i guess? i still use ceci instead of chickpeas most of the time, i always just assumed it was another word for them. another example, when i was a kid and my aunt wanted me to like, walk faster and stop getting distracted by something every two steps she'd say "andiamo! andiamo, places to be." and again it never occurred to me that "andiamo" doesn't even sound like an english word! it's italian for "let's go", but like, i remember using it around my friends and again, not one of them ever questioned it, so like, i'm starting to wonder if my friends just, like, got used to me being "like that", or they just always figured it out from context, or if we were all young enough when i started using the words that they just assumed they were words they'd never heard, it's just like,,,, i decided to give this very specific quirk to a character in a current project of mine, and i'm trying to figure out to make it very clear to the audience that, no, i'm not a dumbass who doesn't know how to write bilingual characters, isabelle isn't bilingual, she's just half italian and her aunt integrated italian words into her vocabulary when she was young and they just stuck.

okay i got totally off track but like,,,, it's just a weird thing to think about like, i'm the closest to a shittily written bilingual character that exists in real life, so like, thanks zia, i guess.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Looking for a Place to Happen 2

Warnings: non-consent sex and rape (series), age gap, general stupidity, some violence and threats

This is dark!biker!Sam Wilson x reader and explicit. 18+ only.  Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Series Synopsis: There’s lots happening in Birch and you find it all too amusing.

Sister series to Smalltown Bringdown, When the Weight Comes Down, Little Bones, and Fully Completely

Note: Here’s chapter two. Think I’ll probably slow down writing. Appreciate y’all.

Thanks to everyone for their patience and feedback. :)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 Let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!

Chapter 2: I follow every little whiff

💀💀💀

You gave yourself a day off that week. Rather, the desolation of Birch allowed you an excuse to get away from your desk. An internet outage across the town had you up and wandering the main road just after noon. Your grandmother refused to join you so she was left to her true crime novel and the weekday droning of talk show hosts.

After a peek in the book shop where you picked out some used thrillers for your nan and a guilty splurge on one of Babs' pies to add to the surprise, you stopped by the diner and had some soup to warm up from the unrelenting cold. You played around on your phone as you blindly slurped from your spoon. With no available connection, you swapped candies to achieve a score high enough to get to the next round.

After another loss, you put your screen down and added some pepper to the tomato soup. You leaned your chin in your hand and peered across the road. The Asp was just diagonal from The Chipped Saucer and from your seat by the window you could see the comings and goings of the dingy bar.

You chuckled to yourself as you remembered the hundreds of comments on your video. You weren't entirely surprised that the internet cheered at the sight of a woman beating up a man in broad daylight, you'd seen much worse on the web. But many were curious and asked about how it started and about the small town alluded to in the caption.

You picked up your phone and flipped open the camera. You pointed it through the glass as one of the many bikers strutted out of the bar and down the street. You knew him, like most in town, he was the leader's right hand man. Steve Rogers. He had an odd gait, rigid with long strides, and you remember Kelly used to make fun of him when you walked home from school. That felt like forever ago.

You ended the video and dropped your phone again. You'd send it to Kelly when the outage was over. It would be a good laugh. Plus, you hadn't heard from her much since she moved to the city.

You finished your soup and paid. You went out into the street and cut around to the backstreets. You made your way back to your nans and found Pippin scratching at the front door. You stopped and scooped him up before you let yourself in.

"Don't like the snow, do ya?" You set him down and he whipped his tail before skittering off, "hey nan, I got you some stuff."

"You spend too much," she grumbled as you hung your coat and grabbed her treats.

"Only on you," you sang as you entered the front room, "sugarless blueberry pie, your fave, and some books about murder and all that freaky stuff you love."

"Hmm," she watched you put the pie and books down on the coffee table, "suppose the pie will go good with tea."

"Ah, and I suppose I'll be making that tea?" You returned.

"My arthritis…" she pouted but her grin came through.

"Yeah, yeah," you snickered as you went to the kitchen to put on the kettle, "we going black today or something lighter?"

"Put on some of the pekoe," she called back, "make a whole pot."

"Will do, ma'am," you trilled and basked in her annoyed mutter.

💀

When the internet came back, you sent of an email to inform the agency of the interruption and promised to meet your deadlines. Then you puttered around and added a caption to the video before you sent it off to Kelly; 'why he walk like that tho'. She sent a series of crying emojis back and told you to post it.

'Nah, it's a dumb joke.' You typed back.

'Saw ur last vid, ppl will eat it up,' she insisted.

'Well, got nothing else to put up. The account’s dying since no one cares about my writing.'

'DO IT.' Her words sealed your resolve and you uploaded the video with some dramatic music in the background.

The response was almost instantaneous. Several comments saying they were happy to see more and others being for another video. 'We all wanna see inside this fucked up town' one added and several latched on. Ignoring the questions of where this was, you gave a thin promise of future small town thug content. 

You turned back to your work email and opened up your draft for your next gig. You couldn't help but smile as you went over your work. You might have just found your niche.

💀

You knew your nan would lose it if she knew you were snooping around the club, so you didn’t tell her. You went down, made her breakfast, went back upstairs to do your work, then tiptoed out in the late afternoon to poke around town for something to upload. Birch was so dull when you lived there but to those outside, it was a novelty you were all too eager to provide.

You got more videos of the bikers; some revving their bikes, others arguing, but there was nothing overly usable. You were getting bored of it until the man himself walked out of the bar. You record the man’s glower expression as he marched down the sidewalk and turned off just down the way.

‘His name is Bucket… wtf?!’ you keyed in and snorted as you waited for it to load to your account.

Still, there was nothing special going on, like always in Birch, and your grandmother was bound to get suspicious if you kept sneaking around. You went back and hid your phone before she could bitch about it. You cooked her dinner and sat with her as your thoughts swung between work and your TikTok.

You went to bed but couldn’t sleep. You ended up watching YouTube on your phone as the windows shook with the night winds. It wasn’t until the darkness began to glow that you were roused from the cocoon of your comforter. You looked out and saw smoke coming from the main road.

You didn’t think before you pulled on your jeans and shoved your feet into your slipper, unconcerned about them soaking through as you barreled down the stairs, the sleeves of your hoodie only half on. The back door bounced behind you and you crunched down into the snow and clamored past the row of lifeless houses. 

You were out of breath as you got to the end of the path and rounded the diner to gape over at the burning garage. You got closer as the line of bikers stood in their leather with breath puffing before them in the frigid night. You stepped back into the shadow of the brick façade of the realty office and swiped your camera open.

Your hands shook and you struggled to steady the image on the screen as the mechanic woman raged in only her tee shirt. You didn’t quite understand what was going on; only that her garage was up in smoke and then men were doing nothing to smother it. She swung at the dark haired man and spat at several others; “cowards”... “fuck all of you!”

You gulped and held your breath as she was dragged away by the large redheaded henchman of the slender outsider. She fought for a moment before she was flung over his shoulder and the biker followed their leader back to The Asp. You sidled in between the building and hid until the voices faded into the wind.

Well, that would be a hell of a video. It might even go viral.

💀

Your phone did not stop. You almost felt bad as you saw the screen limn the edges of your cell as you left it face down on the little table beside the couch. Your nan sat in her rocking chair talking away on her corded phone to Linette from down the road. You suspected that every other person in town was gossiping about the same thing; the fire.

You finished your coffee and rubbed your eyes as you checked the time and ignored the pulsing notifications. It was too much to keep up with.

Your grandmother hung up and sighed, “can’t believe it. You hear?”

“Hear what?” you pretended ignorance.

“That old garage burned down. The one with the lady,” she said, “pity. When I was a girl, that place was a salon. Ma used to take us there to get our hair cut. The barber would give us wrapped candies and pretend to cut himself with his scissors.”

“Oh? It burned down?” you weren’t sure you were very convincing but you also could just say you saw it happen.

“Yep, no one really can say. You know, maybe she was welding or some rag caught, but I bet my money on those bikers,” she sneered.

“Good thing you’re poor,” you kidded, “and why the bikers?”

“Oh, well, you know Kimmy, Linette’s girl, works down at the diner and she saw that mechanic arguing with one of those strangers, the ones dealing with the club men. Well, it’s no coincidence that trouble follows those leather jackets around,” she rocked as she nodded knowingly, “oh, one of the boys I knew back in the day, he was found burnt up with his bike. They said the tank blew… well, I saw it and that tank was pristine.”

“Nan,” you gasped, “you… Jesus.”

“Well, things don’t change in Birch, we just get older,” she continued, “when you’re young, everything seems new but then you age and it’s all just the same.”

“Wow, how… inspiring,” you said dryly.

“Girlie, you gotta be careful,” she intoned, “that fire, that’s a lesson to all the women in this town. To everyone. You don’t cross the Commandos.”

“I don’t think anyone--”

“That’s another thing, there has never been a shortage of stupid people, not now not then,” she girded, “those women who get tied up in that club, their lives are already done.”

You frowned and hid your phone in your pocket as you stood. You rubbed your neck and picked up your empty mug, “I should get started.”

“Mmm,” she said as she dialed the phone again, “I wonder if Fran knows yet.” 

💀

You were being really fucking stupid but peer pressure was not a logical thing. Even through a screen, you found it hard to resist the goads. So there you were, your phone in your hand as you live-streamed your walk down to The Asp. The data costs alone would make you regret it but you were caught up in the hype of you fifteen second of internet fame.

“Alright,” you stopped across the street and gave a view of the moniker with Cleopatra sultrily looking down at you, “this is it… I just gotta play it cool…” you turned the lens towards you and smiled nervously, “hopefully that dude at the front doesn’t stop me.”

Comments flicked up the bottom of the screen so fast and smilies and hearts floated up the side around your face. You crossed the screen as you turned your phone against your coat and approached the bar door. The large biker butted out his smoke and you bared your teeth nervously. He didn’t stop you as he rolled his shoulders and coughed.

You entered to the noise of classic rock and low voices, the clink of glasses and tap of chalk on marble. You glanced around and quickly swept your phone around to give a view of the patrons. You hurried over to the bar and climbed up on a stool.

“You need a drink?” the woman behind the bar scowled. She looked worn out even with her lips painted bright pink and her eyes clouded with blue shadow.

“Uh, sure, can I… can I get one pint of everything you have on tap?” you asked as you set your phone down and shrugged out of your coat. You draped it over the next stool and reposition your phone as you flipped the cam and used the built in stand on the case to angle yourself onto the screen.

“Sure,” she narrowed her eyes and glanced past you.

You swung your feet as you waited for her to pour the five pints; some with too much foam and the others with no head at all. You took the first and held it up for the camera.

“A classic, BudLight,” you held it up to the light, “no head and…” you sipped, “flat.” You plunked it down and coughed as you grabbed the next, “this is a raddler?” you looked at the tap for confirmation, “grapefruit… smells like piss…” you had a sip, “tastes like it too.”

You chuckled to yourself and asked for a water. You made a show of swishing it around in your mouth before you moved onto the third beer.

“Had to cleanse the palate,” you joked, “now… lots of foam on this one, dark. You know, I’m pretty surprised they have Guinness here but let’s see…” you tasted it and crinkled your nose, “that’s it. Exactly like toilet water!”

You read some of the comments telling you to check the bottles for bugs and laughed. Suddenly you were yanked off the stool by the back of your shirt and your phone was swiped up by another man as the first restrained you. You struggled against his thick arm as it hooked around your neck and the leader of their crew stared at the screen of your cell.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he snarled as he hit the screen with his thumb but the stream kept going. He dropped the phone to the floor and stomped it instead.

“This is the bitch posting about us online,” the man at your back growled. It was Steve, the one with the weird walk.

“I doubt either of you know how to use a computer,” you scoffed, “hey, let me go.”

“And why would we do that when you’re snitching to the whole world, sweetheart?” Bucky kicked your phone away as he crossed his arms.

“Actually, I’m--” you grasped Steve’s arm as it threatened to get tighter, “--promoting your trash business. I was just having a tasting, if you had just asked--”

“Shut up!” Bucky stepped closer and brought your legs up and stopped him as you planted your feet against his stomach.

“Hey,” a woman’s voice came from behind the bar as the waitress shoved aside her empty tray, “hey, she’s just a kid.”

“Bullshit,” Bucky huffed, “she looks full-grown to me.”

“So what are you gonna do?” she said, “she’s young. You can’t--”

“Don’t tell me what I can’t do,” he snapped.

“She’s right,” another voice intoned and that man, Sam, came up beside them with a pool cue in hand, “she’s just goofing around.”

“She’s a rat,” Steve insisted.

“You’re being dramatic. It’s called a meme and you do walk a little strange,” he chuckled, “no one’s gonna follow her breadcrumbs back to this shithole anyway.”

Bucky considered Sam and then looked at Steve. He poked his cheek with his tongue and sucked his teeth.

“So… you vouching for her?” Bucky asked.

“She won’t cause any more trouble, promise,” Sam said, “I’ll make sure of it.”

“You better,” Bucky snapped his fingers and you were released, “get her out of here.” 

[ganondoodle]

yr brain? galaxy level. i wanna hear all ur lore and stuff

you know what ? im gonna write the basic plot for soogas backstory here now too-

- his parents were both sheikah soldiers serving the royal family, they were nearly never home so he barely even knew them and was pretty much living on his own from a young age on

- they both died while on a mission far away, but that didnt change much for him other than him having to find a way to earn money himself now

- when he was a teenager he was recruited by the royal family (he wanted to tho) which is also where he met Hibiki (my only real zelda Oc .. sorry gotta involve them now- this is how they look, although they are older here than when sooga first met them

i think i forgot to post this on tumblr lmao; anyway they are an artist and a bit older than sooga)

- since they were both outcasts with no relatives that cared about them they quickly became friends (tho it was def more one sided at first bc Hibiki is a way more extroverted ) tho Hibiki has been a bit longer in the army so they rarely went on missions together and only hung out during breaks or when they had both time off

- even after years of training they both stayed in the lower ranks of the army and never managed to climb to a higher one, part of the reason was that Hibiki didnt do a good job of being a spy, not bc they were detected, they just never had much information to report for some reason and Sooga always defended them when they got bullied by higher ups for it (you know how he threatens ppl) which in turn made him less liked and got him almost kicked out once (and yes, Hibiki did have a crush on Sooga but he never realized that even tho they made it REALLY obvious)

- you know the story how link got appointed as zeldas bodyguard ? with him deflecting a laser from a malfunctioning guardian to protect the princess ? yeah, so in my hc, while he did deflect it it didnt straight up hit the guardian back but rather was simply redirected and although Hibiki tried to pull Sooga away it still hit the left side of his face which is how he got that big af scar and lost his eye

- he survived and of course Hibiki was there to take care of him whenever they could, but the more time went on while he recovered it was made clear that the higher ups wanted to kick him out of the army after his wound healed bc they didnt think he was fit to fight anymore missing an eye (thats what they said but it was pretty obvious they just wanted a reason to get rid of him) 

- Hibiki reassured Sooga they would do everything they could to convince them otherwise bc they knew that all he ever wanted to do is be a strong and respected soldier serving the royal family, but who would listen to the worst spy in the whole army .. he got kicked out anyway of course and was forced to work as a farmer (more like help other farmers really) 

- from then on Hibiki was trying to be a better spy, so they could earn enough respect to maybe get the army to welcome Sooga back into their ranks

- but one day when Sooga returned from some field work he noticed a new grave at the corner of the village, and asked who died, it took some time for him to find out it was Hibiki who fell in battle bc after they left the village they never returned so the other villagers forgot even their name, the army brought their body back into the village since they were borne there and didnt have any living relatives

- that was what pushed his resentment for the kingdom and the other sheikah over the edge really, he stole some ancient hidden away sheikah scrolls from the elder of the village and used them to teach himself some techniques ... or at least TRIED to, the only one he was able to manage was a half functional clone, which he used to fake his death and live a live in the shadows, staying away from settlements out of fear of beign recognized

- he made his way into the gerudo desert where he never went to before, and in a cold night snuk undetected into the yiga hideout in the search for shelter since he wasnt equipped for that kind o extreme weather .. tho he didnt realize what he just did

- in the morning he was found after all and, understandably, attacked bc wth how did that guy even get in here ?? after he managed to survive for pretty long given the circumstances, he tried to flee but was stopped by master kohga himself, and while kohga was monologing about .. stuff, Sooga realized this might be his chance to live a proper life again and that pretty close to what he always wanted, so he promptly asks to join them

- positively surprised kohga of course cant just accept him into the clan like that, i mean Sooga was wearing sheikah clothing and got UNDETECTED into their hideout and took a nap there for several hours before being found, thats suspicious as hell

- after being put through several tests and challanges he is accepted into the clan after all-

- now fast forward post calamity (just a few years tho) the topic of Soogas origins comes up and he tells kohga alot but is interrupted bc koh ask him if the friend he was talking about was “a kinda weird artist” ... turns out Hibiki died in a clash with the yiga clan and ... was killed by kohga himself.

- Hibiki always carried a sketchbook in a bag around with them, and the clan took it after their death bc they thought it might contain useful info, it didnt, but since the sketches in it where pretty good they kept it anyway even if it was only half readable since it got soaked in blood

- that is a reveal that tested soogas loyalty to the clan like nothing else could (everyone in the clan including kohga, was expecting him to turn against them again, but were still waiting for him to actually betray the clan)

- sooga didnt turn on them tho, reason was, he managed to seperate the pages of the sketchbook that were stuck together from blood and discovered finely detailed art of the hideout, of its interior too and even of kohga as well

- Hibiki never had much info to tell their superiors bc they snuk around the hideout when on a mission but never with the goal to rat the clan out. they secretly admired kohga and the clan, even wanted to join them for a long time, but never got to do it bc they didnt want to leave Sooga behind but also .. they were afraid to tell him bc he was so focused on becoming a good sheikah soldier they were sure he wouldnt feel the same; they were torn between wanting to join the yiga but afraid of destroying their friendship with sooga ..

when they got into that fatal fight with the clan, kohga didnt even attack them with the intend to kill and they could have easily dodged or parried the hit, the reason they didnt was, ironically, bc they were so stunned by admiration of seeing their idol right in front of them they didnt move a muscle until it was too late...

this got longer than i thought, maybe i went into too much detail here, but anyway this is a summary of the backstory i came up with for Sooga, it doesnt end here tho, this is more like the story of how sooga became part of the yiga; after all of this comes alot more tho it wouldnt make much sense to add that here too xD 

sorry for the long af post, i hope its somewhat understandable ;__;

[kelieah]

was it worth it? (peter parker x reader)

request (summary) @annamckayla : Hello, ur amazing! I wanted to request an Imagine where the reader and Peter are married with a bby, and after every mission she could be like "was it worth it" (in a kind playful way) and each time he would say yes, but one day the reader is somehow muddled up in this dangerous mission along side a few other ppl, he saves everyone but her, and he doesnt know if it was worth it

word count: 3.1k

warnings: lil bit of fluff, LOTS of angst so buckle up

edited: this is one of my longest fics so far, i put a lot of effort into this one kdsjnsdkfn

a/n: hehe ily anna but this request not cool dawg (jk ily but writing this hurt like a buttcheek on a stick)

masterlist | teaser

-

You look out the window, holding the beautiful baby boy you and Peter made in your arms and rock him back and forth. Your eyes scan over the city buildings, knowing your husband’s somewhere out there stopping crimes and saving lives.

“Did you know Ben, that your daddy is out there kicking butt? Saving lives, almost every day?” you look down at your sleepy baby.

He glances up at you with half-lidded eyes and coos, reaching out to you. You smile warmly and let him grab your finger.

“Yup, that’s right, daddy’s Spider-Man. I almost fainted when he first told me during our Senior year of high school,” you shake your head and chuckle at the memory.

You continue to sway him in your arms until he falls asleep. You hum quiet lullabies and walk over to the bedroom, placing him in his crib that was next to you and Peter’s bed.

Your head snaps up once you hear the bedroom window sliding up slowly. You chuckle quietly and place your hands on your hips, already knowing who it is.

Peter crawls in and onto the ceiling, closing the window with his foot. “Peter Benjamin Parker, you better not jump down. Ben’s asleep,” you warn in a hushed tone.

He looks over at you and takes off his mask, flashing you a sheepish smile. God, you could never get tired of watching him take off his mask like that.

He crawls down the side of the wall and quietly lands, walking over to you. He holds your waist and you wrap your arms around his neck, pressing your forehead against his, “You seem really beat, Mr. Parker,” you mutter softly.

“I sure am, Mrs. Parker,” he pecks your lips, glancing down into your eyes.

You sigh longingly, curling your fingers in his hair, “Was it worth it?” you tease quietly.

He sighs softly, “Are you going to ask that every single time I go out on a patrol?” he murmurs against your lips.

“Mhm, because you’re not just coming home to your lovely wife. You’re coming home to your lovely wife and baby boy,” you whisper.

“In my eyes sweetheart, it’s worth it to save another one’s life, stop crime and come home to my whole world, you two,” he cups your face, pressing kisses all over.

“But what if you don’t come home one day?” you whisper, feeling your eyes begin to gloss at the thought.

Peter tilts your head up towards him and kisses you deeply, bringing you closer, “You know I don’t know the answer to that. You shouldn’t constantly worry about the future baby, you should try-”

You sigh against his lips and pull away, “I know, Pete. I know,” you mumble.

“I love you, and Ben, so much. Don’t ever forget that okay?” he holds your cheek gently, caressing it.

You place your hand on top of his nodding, “We love you more.”

Some nights he came back without a scratch but most nights he came back with much more than just a scratch.

Ben’s next to the couch sprawled out on a soft blanket, playing with some of his toys.

You’re fixing up some dinner until all of a sudden you hear a thud from your bedroom. You frown and quickly look up, turning off the stove in an instant.

You glance over at Ben making sure he’s fine. He looks up at you with curious eyes, his mouth all over a teething toy. You smile softly then quickly walk over to your bedroom, “Pete?” you peek your head in.

You gasp at the sight of Peter flat on the floor by the window, holding the side of his torso in pain. You rush over and slide next to him, lifting his head up gently to rest him on your lap.

“What happened?” you whisper, placing a hand on his cheek.

He smiles timidly and looks up at you, “I-I’m fine I swear baby, just a little whoopsie,” he breathes out.

Your eyebrows furrow in concern, and slowly lift up his hand. You frown at the deep cut above his hip, “Can you get up? I need to patch you up Peter,” you whisper.

He nods and carefully begins to sit up. You help him stand up and walk him over to the bathroom. You watch him lift himself up on the counter, letting out a sharp grunt.

You sigh, grabbing some cloth from the bottom drawer and handing it to him. “Apply pressure okay? I’m going to check on Ben,” you walk off.

You see Ben begin to doze off and walk up to him, scooping him up in your arms. You hold him gently and head back to the bedroom, placing him in his crib.

You walk back to Peter and get out the medical kit you have nearby at all times. Peter watches you with tired eyes, holding the cloth you gave him to his wound.

You look up at him and press a kiss against his forehead, “I think you need stitches bub,” you hold his cheek. He nods against your touch.

“Okay Mrs. Parker,” his raspy voice making your heart clench.

After stitching him up, you help him clean himself up. You stand in between his legs and wrap your arms loosely around his neck. You give him a concerned look that makes him pout.

“I know what you’re about to say.”

“Was it worth it?”

“Baby,” he groans quietly and pulls your waist close, “Yes, yes it was.”

You hum quietly, threading your hands through his hair, “Why?”

He nuzzles his nose against yours, letting out a quiet sigh, “You know why.”

You exhale and press your lips against his for a moment. He kisses back and holds you closer. You pull away and cup his cheek in your hand, “I guess so,” you whisper.

You never stopped asking him that question every time you came home. Deep down, you dread the day you won’t be able to ask him due to him never returning.

Though you knew it was repetitive and annoying to ask, you couldn’t help but ask. There was this one night where Peter wasn’t having it and the two of you broke out in a fight that thankfully ended in an agreement.

Peter tiredly crawled through the bedroom window, freezing as his enhanced hearing picked out the soft snores that came out of Ben’s mouth.

He smiled softly and closed the window, jumping down quietly. He walks over and adjusts Ben’s small blanket. Peter shuffles over to the kitchen to grab some food.

“Hello to you too,” you piped up from the couch, leaning on the palm of your hand.

“Sorry babe, hi,” he came up to you, bending down to kiss your forehead.

“You okay? Rough night?” you sat up, looking up at him worriedly.

“Don’t worry, I’m fine,” he waves his hand and goes over to the fridge, grabbing some food.

You sighed and followed, leaning against the counter. He heated up his food in the microwave and glanced over at you, “What?” he yawned.

“Was it worth it?” you teased, poking at his side.

Your smile faltered as you noticed he didn’t react. He let out a weak chuckle, “Mhm.”

“Peter, I’ve known you for what? Six years now? You can talk to me bub,” you murmured.

“Do you always have to fucking ask that question? Every single fucking time I come back from risking my life for others, “was it worth it” bullshit? Do you!?” he snapped his voice loud yet low enough to be heard by you but not by Ben. He dragged his hands down his face and looked over at you with the most exhausted expression, waiting for a response.

Your heart raced and you felt your throat begin to swell, never expecting Peter to burst out like that, “I-I never meant for it to upset you P-Pete,” you whispered, “I j-just-”

“You just what huh? Y/n, love, I don’t think you understand what I do out there,” he grits through his teeth, turning off the microwave that went off. “Of course it’s fucking worth it, I’m an Avenger. A hero. It’s what we do! That’s all we fucking do,” he fumed, pacing back and forth.

You inhaled sharply, quickly wiping away your tears that fell from your cheeks before Peter saw but you failed to do so. He stopped in his tracks, his heavy breathing calming down, “S-shit baby, I-I’m so sorry-” he took a step towards you.

You took a step back, “N-no, it’s okay. I get it, it was inconsiderate of me to ask, constantly. I-I just thought it was kind of like an inside joke y-you know? But there’s no excuse for it,” you whimpered, “A-actually a part of me, h-has been wanting to bring up y-your career Peter.”

He nodded, walking over and cupped your face, wiping away your tears, “Talk to me sunshine, I-I’m not mad. I’m not mad at you at all, dammit it’s just been a long day and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you just now. I-I’m calm, just talk to me. I’m here, I got you,” he pressed a kiss against your forehead, his words starting to take an affect on you.

You let out a shaky breath and nodded, “Peter, a-are you ever going to consider r-retiring? I-I know you’re young and I know it’s s-selfish of me to say, but you could do so many other great things. L-less risky careers, because we,” you choke slightly on your words, Peter instantly placing a hand on your back to soothe you. “B-because we have a family now Peter, and if you,” you sobbed, “If you died, god I don’t know what’d I do.”

Peter’s heart shattered at your words and he pulled you into a tight hug, bringing your head to his chest. “I know, I know,” he whispered painfully. “Y-you have to trust me, and what I do. I-I love you both, with all my heart. With all my entirety. But I-I just can’t give up what I do.”

You sighed deeply and nuzzled your head into his chest, “I get it Pete,” you sniffled, beginning to calm down. “I really do. But remember what you told me that night when I found out your identity?”

“Wanna check out the other web shooter?” he muttered, playing with your hair.

You stifle a quiet laugh, “Besides that. You told me you kept your secret for the longest time because you didn’t want to put my life in danger. Nor May’s, nor Ned’s. Or anyone close to you,” you sighed. “D-does that not concern you now?”

Peter tensed at your question, “W-well when you put it like that. I feel like shit now,” he grumbled making you chuckle. “Look, I’ll talk to Tony okay? I’d never want to put you in danger, let alone our own son. I-I’ve just been so wrapped up in being this superhero that everyone looks up to that I- I didn’t realize I have everything I could ever need in front of me. You and Ben,” he squeezed you tightly in his arms. You smiled in content, tearing up and held him close.

Even after that argument you had with Peter, you still managed to ask him the question. Luckily without pissing him off. He eventually came up with different creative and adorable responses each time which you absolutely adored.

“Peter, I’m going to run to the store real quick m’kay? Watch Ben,” you walk over to where he’s sitting, wrapping your arms around him.

He looks up at you and you peck his lips causing him to grin, “Okay mama.”

You smile happily, ruffling Ben who’s sitting in his dad’s lap and grab your keys, walking off. Ben pouts slightly and reaches out for you as you leave the apartment.

“Don’t worry buddy, mommy will be back,” Peter ruffles his head gently making him giggle. “Now look,” he props him up to face the TV, “That cool guy right there, that is Luke Skywalker.”

Soon after about two Star Wars movies later, Peter began to get worried. He places Ben who fell asleep back in his crib.

He walks over to his phone and leaves you another message. He paces around for a couple minutes and quickly glances at his phone repeatedly.

His heart jumps out of his heart when he hears your ringtone and immediately picks up, “Y/n? Are you okay? It’s been almost two-”

“Peter Parker,” a low raspy voice answers, “I hope you didn’t forget about me Spider-Man,” he chuckles darkly.

Peter’s eyes widen, panic beginning to rush throughout his body, “Where is she?” he spits.

“She isn’t the only one in danger Parker,” he holds your phone up, a bunch of other voices crying out for help.

“P-Peter!” he hears Aunt May wail out.

“You fucking monster,” Peter snarls, clenching his fist.

“Wilmington Fifth Street, the warehouse on the right. Can’t miss it. If you call backup, all your loved ones will be dead,” the anonymous enemy retorts and ends the call.

Peter quickly calls Tony, “Kid what? It’s like 9-”

“Mr. Stark please s-send someone over to my apartment to watch Ben. I-I have to take care of something please,” Peter explains, putting on his suit.

“On it,” Tony recognizes the panic in his voice, “Do you want me to send backup?” he asks but doesn’t receive a reply as Peter hangs up.

Peter paces around, running his hands through his hair. Within a couple of minutes he hears someone walk up to the front of the door and swings it open before they could knock, “Oh thank god, Happy. Please, watch Ben. I have to go,” he rushes back to the living room.

“O-oh okay, yeah of course. Peter what’s-” Happy asks closing the door behind him.

Peter jumps out the window and swings off to the address that clouded his mind. “God please, please,” he whimpers to himself and eventually lands in front of their warehouse.

He couldn’t just burst through the front door, that’d bring too much attention. Peter looks around and quickly swings up to the roof, finding an entrance from a lifted up window.

He scans the room quickly to see Aunt May, Ned and MJ all tied together. “Karen, is there anyone else is the building?” he mutters lowly.

“Yes. But if you act now, you can save those three,” she states.

“On it,” he grunts and swings down quietly. They all look up at Peter with fearful and tear-filled eyes, shaking their heads.

He quickly takes off the tape on their mouths and unties them, “Peter no he has her-” May sobs.

“I-It’s okay, everything’s going to be okay. All of you need to get out of here now. Police are on their way, they’ll be around the corner,” they all nod in response, too shaken up to say anything. He leads them towards a backdoor entrance. “Where’s Y/n?” he asks, before letting them go.

“She’s in the back, w-with the Vulture,” Ned looks over at Peter.

“He came back?” Peter’s breath hitches. “N-no time, okay go,” he pushes them out and quickly swings back inside.

“Karen, where are they?” Peter whimpers under his breath. She instantaneously shows the whole warehouse mapped out and where she detected two life forms.

Peter rushes over to the back and slams the door open. You sat there tied up in a chair and unconscious.

“Y-Y/n,” he sobs, stumbling over towards you.

“I wouldn’t,” a voice rings from behind you. Peter snaps his head up and shoots a web towards the voice.

The Vulture’s new and improved wings cut his web as it came towards him, “You know Parker, all those years ago. When you were a little fucking Freshman, you took everything from me. Everything.”

“You’re supposed to be in jail,” Peter snaps, walking over to him swinging a fist to his masked face. The Vulture’s wings are too fast and slashes his arm before Peter could make contact. 

Peter lets out a strained yelp and gets kicked down by him. “Now, I’m going to take everything away from you, starting off with your wife,” he spits, placing his weighted foot down on Peter’s head.

Peter yells in frustration and shoves him off, attacking him with all the power and rage he mustered up. The Vulture easily blocks his attacks and slams him against the wall, “Tsk tsk. You never learn,” he steps on him roughly and repeatedly. Kicking him down with his weaponized and sharp boots. Peter weakly attempts to block his blows but fails. The Vulture chuckles darkly and walks over to you, shaking the blood off his boot.

“N-no, Y-Y/n, please n-no,” he gets up slowly, his ears beginning to ring and his sight becoming blurry. The Vulture circles you, cutting off your restraints and kicks you to the floor, your body falling to the ground with a thud.

You wake up to a sharp pain impaling your stomach, the Vulture’s point of his wing shoved into your torso. You let out a blood-curdling scream, bright red seeping out from your clothes. You feel something warm and thick begin to spill from your mouth.

“Y/n!” Peter shouts, tears streaming down his face. He limps over to you and falls by your side, screaming out in agony.

Suddenly the walls shake and Tony appears with the rest of the Avengers that were nearby to help. “Fuck,” the Vulture mutters and makes a run for it, about to fly off.

Tony blasts him down and flies down, managing to fight him off. Steve helps him out and they capture him, getting his weapons off him as they cuff him up.

You look around beginning to see white. Your ears fill with ringing and faint voices, until a familiar weak voice snaps you back into reality for a moment.

“M-my pretty girl, h-hey. Hey,” Peter whispers, brings your head onto his lap.

“P-pete?” you barely whisper, weakly raising your hand to his cheek.

“Y-yup that’s me. Your husband, the father to our child,” he shakily holds your hand against his cheek.

“B-Ben? Baby B-Benjamin?” you ask, eyes fluttering as you stare into Peter’s glossy eyes.

He nods in response, tears dripping down from his face onto yours.

You go silent for a while, trying to process everything that just happened. Peter chokes on his sobs, and brings you close to his bruised body.

“P-Peter?” you rasp.

“Y-yes my love?” he sniffles, brushing a hair out of your face.

“W-was it worth it?” you ask tiredly, lips quivering as a slow tear rolls down your cheek.

He lets out a loud strained sob, shaking his head furiously, “N-no. No it wasn’t. It wasn’t,” he wipes away your single tear with his thumb.

You barely curl your lips in an attempt to smile and close your eyes, going limp in his arms. Peter bursts out in a fit of sobs and hugs you close to his body, his body trembling against yours.

Tony and the rest of the team stand around nearby, pain filling their hearts and tears welling up in their eyes as Peter cries out in misery.

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[julemmaes]

Honey extra - The Sex Playlist + a little scene

Elide Lochan x Lorcan Salvaterre roommates au

A/N: I posted part five on the same day acosf was released, so if you didn’t see it, go read it, cause it’s.. long and it took me years to finish and I saw it didn’t get the same attention the previous parts did, and yeah

fic masterlist

this takes place somewhere between part five and six

Elide was one of the few lucky girls whose period was never too bothersome. The pain was always very bearable and only lasted a few hours, and most of the time, it wasn't even a real pain, just a slight pressure in the lower abdomen. She could go about her day without having to stop every few minutes because of a cramp - unlike Aelin, who died every month as if someone was stabbing her in the guts.

She also didn't have a heavy flow, which she would always thank the gods for, if they existed. She couldn't understand how her friends could put up with such misfortune.

Not that they could do otherwise, of course, but she was always in awe when they told her about their period-catastrophes. She knew that if it were her turn to suffer like that every time, she would rip her uterus out of her belly.

And at that moment, lying in a fetal position on Lorcan's bed, she wasn't entirely sure she'd be able to keep from doing it herself before the cramping stopped. Because for some strange reason, her body had decided to turn against her this month.

The last two weeks had gone by in the blink of an eye, she and Lorcan had fucked on every surface in the house and between work and classes and studying, Elide had gotten very little sleep. Considering also that every time she lay down, her boyfriend would slip in behind her and she couldn't say no to herself, to that pleasure so exhaustive and ecstatic, it made her forget that her body needed rest.

It had taken Lorcan to remind her that they couldn't go on like this.

So when she'd found a bloodstain in her underwear the previous night, just before going to bed after her shift at the diner, she hadn't worried so much and had thought that they'd finally take a few days off and maybe her body would calm down.

Elide wasn't a fan of period sex and the few times she'd done it she'd been so grossed out that she'd risked barfing in the middle of it. It simply wasn't for her.

What she hadn't expected though, had been cramps so strong they had pulled her from sleep in the middle of the night. Elide had gotten up and gone to the bathroom because she'd started moving around too much and didn't want to wake up the boy sleeping blissfully next to her. She had started pacing the living room, trying to figure out what the fuck she was in such pain for.

When it felt like someone had stuck both hands in her uterus and was digging their nails into her ovaries, Elide had knelt on the floor by the couch, leaning forward with her fists pressed against her stomach.

Lorcan had found her in that position around half past four.

To say he'd been scared out of his wits would be an understatement.

He'd thrown himself to the floor beside her almost immediately, all traces of weariness gone the second he'd heard her whimper in pain and seen that Elide was biting her lower lip so hard it was drawing blood.

When they had established that it was just her cycle, Lorcan had taken her back to his bed and now they were both lying between the soft blankets she had given him.

They had both been puzzled by this new symptom. After all, Lorcan had never seen her suffer from her period in all the years they had lived together and neither of them had expected it to be any different this time.

Elide had had to joke that it was the fault of his huge cock that had literally stabbed her in the uterus, and Lorcan had apologised in earnest, looking at her with wide eyes and pulling away a little, as if he really felt guilty. She had burst out laughing and then pulled him to her again, taking one of his arms and putting it around her body so that his big hand covered her belly.

He'd started moving his fingers over her lower abdomen, applying pressure from time to time when she seemed to tense up due to a cramp. It helped, somehow, to have him there to massage her. To hold her to his chest as they cuddled.

Now, Elide kept her eyes closed, his head resting on top of hers as they both dozed. Or at least she thought so, because Lorcan spoke, his rough, low voice too close to her ear, "How do you feel?"

She sighed, pulling her knees up slightly. His legs immediately followed her, as if they couldn't bear to be away from her body. She smiled, "A little better." then yawned, "I guess it's the fact that I was already tired as it is, what with university and all."

Lorcan hummed behing her, "I see," then he moved, pulling away only briefly, "maybe we should take it slower, with everything I mean."

Elide nodded slowly. She turned her head towards him, still with her eyes closed, but pursed her lips forward, silently inviting him to kiss her. He chuckled, but a second later their mouths clashed in a simple peck on the lips.

The music playing from the speakers suddenly changed from the sweet melody of a love song to something quite different.

"Cause I eat up for a while, let me through. The shake, the screaming aloud, I'ma fool. In my face you shake, leaking everywhere."

Elide's eyes went wide, "Lorcan!" she let go a surprised chuckle, "What is this?" she turned to him fully and could finally see the satisfied smirk on his face.

"It's a playlist I made yesterday," he then lowered his voice an octave, looking at her lips, "For when we can take the time to think about music instead of jumping right into it," he murmured.

Elide swallowed, nodding slowly, continuing to listen to the song.

Definitely very different from what he normally provided her with.

"I like it," she continued, then draped her arms underneath his, resting her head against his chest as he pulled her close to him and lay on his back, making her lie completely on top of him, "our sex playlist." she smiled, playing with the ends of his hair.

Lorcan hummed again and Elide felt it throughout her whole body when he said, "I called it 'elide'."

She had to force herself to calm the hot spirits that that new information had triggered in her body, but she was glad to know that he wouldn't be able to use that playlist with other people, considering it bore her name.

"I like it even more now," she confessed under her breath.

His arms tightened around her back and then his hands began to rub her lower back, where he knew she was feeling the most pain. Elide fell silent, enjoying his warm hands on her skin, and only had time to thank him before sleep beckoned her again.

The playlists

01.02

1. The Fixer – Brent Morgan

2. Why iii Love The Moon – PHONY PPL

3. Couch Potato – Jakubi

4. Anyway – Noah Kahan

5. comethru – Jeremy Zucker

6. Why Not Me – Forrest.

7. Loving – Surfaces

8. always, i’ll care – Jeremy Zucker

9. Like Strangers Do – AJ Mitchell

10. Yellow Lights – Harry Hudson

11. Glue Myself Shut – Noah Kahan

12. Colour Me – Juke Ross  

13. Lovesong (The Way) – Charlie Burg

14. Lucky Love – Michael Seyer

15. Freak In Me – Mild Orange

elide

1. Skin – Rihanna

2. Do It For Me – Rosefield

3. Body Party – Ciara

4. When We – Tank

5. Rockstar – Rihanna

6. F***in Wit Me – Tank

7. On Top – Trey Songz

8. Acquainted – The Weeknd

9. Freaky – Gemaine

10. Make You Feel – Alina Baraz

11. First Fuck - 6LACK & Jhené Aiko

12. Young God - Halsey

13. How Many Times – DJ Khaled

14. Fuck You All The Time – Jeremih

18.02

1. I Don't Know Me Like You Do – Low Hum

2. I Don't Wanna Be Okay Without You – Charlie Burg

3. Why Can't I Have You – Gloria Laing

4. If I Go, I'm Goin – Gregory Alan Isakov

5. Let Me In – Skinny Living

6. Reason To Hate You – Rhys Lewis

7. Be Your Man – Rhys Lewis

8. Yours – Jake Scott

9. Loved Us More – Munn

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[vexedtonightmares]

hey :) do you mind sharing some more about the skam austin panel today?

yeah for sure!! i’ll put what i remember under the keep reading tab for ppl who wanna hear about it :) i only went to the panel, not the rewatch (bc money lmao) so there are probably some other things they talked about that i missed, but i’m sure there are other ppl on here that can fill you in on any gaps that i miss!

it was valeria (jo), julie (megan), and lakeisha* (shay), and pedro (p jo) on the panel (he was the moderator, the other three did most of the talking), though they did mention other castmates throughout :,) 

*lakeisha was the name they went by on the panel, and in the info before the panel it said they use they/them pronouns, so that’s how i’ll be referring to them throughout this 

all of them started out by talking about what they’re doing currently, julie said she’s dropping out of school because her therapist told her “you as a person matters more than you as a student” which i thought was a great sentiment as well 

lakeisha said they’ve been making a lot of clothes and music (also throughout the whole thing they kept showing us their shoes and they left to pee like halfway through something they were answering one time hfjskaj)

they then talked about their audition processes (val had the most chaotic series of audtions omg i would love to see her audition tapes)

val originally read for either jo or megan, and she had literally just moved there like right before casting and almost didn’t go to her audition

she said that she decided to be the loudest person in the room so that they couldn’t ignore her, and that carried her through most of the rounds of auditioning

she said that at the end she said “if you don’t choose me, which you should choose me, but if you don’t, please choose another latinx actress because you have no idea how much it means to see someone who looks like you on screen”

julie auditioned because she was hoping julie (andem) would bring lisa and tarjei and she basically wanted a free meet and greet djkfshk 

she found out about skam og on tumblr !! she’s one of us 😌 

she thinks julie andem is the coolest person in the world 

they told her that she was pretty much everything they envisioned megan to be, so they cast her fairly early on and then had her partner with the marlon prospects 

giovanni, who eventually played tyler, auditioned for marlon and they kissed during their audition even though they weren’t supposed to

julie went to high school with till who ended up playing marlon and people would always ask her what it was like to get to make out with him and she was just like .... we just working bruh

lakeisha found the ad to audition on instagram and decided why not because it said it was a paid job 

they looked up a bunch of improv games the night before because they had no experience and had no idea what they were doing

in the audition julie asked what the tattoos on their hand meant (and also the one thing lakeisha was excited about being out of contract was that they could get as many tattoos as they wanted without asking for permission)

they all had a lot of love for julie andem and loved working with her

val said that she’d always try to make julie laugh and she said that julie is the reason og and austin are so good, because it’s her story and her vision 

they roasted the shit out of fb too (as they should)

basically fb ghosted them and never renewed the show but also never cancelled it so technically they don’t even know if anyone else could get the rights to reboot the show somewhere else (lakeisha said ‘skam austin onlyfans’ lmao)

i don’t remember which one of them said it but they said fb is like an inconsistent dad lollll

they also think that fb sort of finessed julie/her team because they were under the impression that it would be like og where they had their own website for the show and everything, but then it ended up just being a facebook page

they also filmed promo for season 1 that never ended up being used but they don’t know why 

lakeisha felt super disrespected by the fact that not only did they not get their season, but also the fact that they just dropped the show like it was nothing and none of them even found out that they probably weren’t getting more seasons until they saw that their instagram accounts were gone

everyone was upset about the igs getting deleted too because they put so much work into the content on there for it all to just disappear 

val said “no one tells a story like the one that was about to be told” and everyone agreed

val said that if the show would have continued, jo would have been undocumented and they would have shown her trying to navigate college (not only were we robbed of a jo season, we were robbed of college seasons 😤)

jo x jo were definitely going to be a thing

val said that when they wrapped s2 she was like finally!!! because now they could get into the stories that they really wanted to tell and really knew would make a difference (everyone vehemently agreed)

they were proud of the fact that they’re the most diverse cast and that they don’t just treat the characters of color like sidekicks like the other remakes do

julie talked about how skam france was the only remake to have jonas not accept isak right away when he was coming out and how it was suspicious that he happened to be the only non white jonas and that was the choice they made

val said that druck is the only remake she’s watched but she likes it

they also talked about how, even though it’s great that the cast was so diverse, practically everyone behind the scenes was white

val said that she didn’t really think about it much at the time because she found it hard to speak up since she was very young and inexperienced but looking back she wishes jo’s body wasn’t so fetishized as a latina (she didn’t clarify whether she was talking on a production level or within the fandom, but she talked about costuming so i assumed she meant more on a production level)

they all wished there was more representation off screen as well as on

shay x megan was brought up and julie said that shay was going to have her own love interest (am!even !!!!) come season three, and that it wouldn’t have been megan 

she also said that megan was mostly just confused and like ‘haha i kiss girls when i’m drunk’ but then she also said that megan and shay never had feelings for each other at the same time so 👀 

she was upset that they made megan and marlon get back together at the end of season 2 because she wasn’t a fan of them together, but she said it also makes sense because a lot of teen girls go back to their toxic exes even when they know it’s not good for them

lakeisha said that they hated shay’s acrylic nails because it didn’t make sense to them for her to have them (especially since shay was a musician)

they also said that they’ve been pretty confident and open with their sexuality since they were around 12, and that one time in middle school they dated a boy because he had an xbox and then they were like oh no is this toxic am i using him because he actually has feelings for me?? hdskafja 

they also said that the cfgc music happened because they heard that the boys from og also had a song and at first i was like wtf are they talking about but now i think they meant the penetrator song 💀💀 

julie has a cfgc shirt :,) and they all stole a bunch of clothes and stuff from set, val said she took a bunch of outfits that jo never wore which makes her sad to think about now 

val’s favorite scene to film was the car scene in s1 before the party (she said it was one of the best moments of her life) and julie said she liked that one as well (val said there’s a shot of her looking into the camera and flipping it off but they didn’t include it in the show, i feel robbed)

people asked how it felt for lakeisha to be the first lesbian isak and they said that they didn’t feel like they were, because they didn’t really get the chance :(( but they also said that the idea itself was very intimidating and there was a lot of pressure around it

they also said that they and gio were very very close both on screen and off, they said it wasn’t even like they were an extension of one person, that’s how close they got

there were a lot of improvised scenes, particularly with val, and she also said that incorporating spanish into jo’s dialogue was mostly improvised 

julie, val, and pedro also all talked about how they’re all mexican, and how each of their life experiences vary so much from one another, on the show and off and julie said megan’s upbringing was a lot like hers 

they all also said that they liked the music the show used and a lot of them have emotional attachments to a lot of the songs 

val said she wishes they used more frank ocean and i agree 

they also said they’re not sure if there are bloopers or anything, but they’d love to see them if there are 

i’m trying to think of anything i missed ahhh i feel like they talked about so much but i think i’ve got the key points soooo

that’s all !!! hope this was interesting to ppl who still care about austin like i do :,))

[angeltrapz]

SAW ask time 💚 wld love to hear abt chainshipping + Adam bein autistic— maybe like what Lar notices abt Adam’s stims, things he does for him/ways he helps when Adam needs it. Also for Eric/Adam, maybe any thoughts on Eric finally like.. realizing he’s got a special interest?? ik we’ve talked abt how hard he masks but bein around Adam (n Mallick) helps him relax abt that, so like maybe how does he react + what is th special interest? anything u wanna dish abt!

thank u it’s always SAW ask time in my heart <33

!!! I was just thinkin abt tht!!! our minds 💫

I think th first time he rly sees Adam stimming (i.e. flapping his hands) he’d be like “what’s that?” but not in a rude way - genuinely a tone of “I want 2 know more abt this thing, pls tell me” rather than anything anywhere near condescending/annoyed/mean-spirited like Adam has dealt w fr YEARS at this point. so he’s definitely put on edge a lil bit bc he can’t help it, maybe he starts to like wind down and force himself into quiet hands, but Lawrence is immediately like “no I wasn’t making fun of you!! u don’t have to stop doing it!” which kinda stops Adam short like. what r we doing here. usually when ppl ask me tht they’re also telling me 2 stop. finally Lawrence says “I was just wondering what kind of stim tht was,” like he didn’t almost (accidentally) uproot Adam’s whole shit + is currently Doing So Now by using actual terms tht Adam didn’t know he knew, n so he like takes a moment to absorb tht comment n then he’s like. “oh. it means I’m happy or excited?” and honestly? when Lawrence hears tht? he’s like “oh... so then you’re rly happy? 🥺” n it’s just like. a moment fr both of them lol. (Adam feels Much safer discussing things after tht too, in several ways. it definitely helps w building trust between them!!)

after that though Lawrence definitely takes notice of more things! he’s not afraid 2 ask questions, so tht’s smth tht’s rly good fr them - Lawrence being able to seek information (he also does his own reading + research) to better understand, n not in tht shitty mommy blogger “I know yr in there somewhere” way. he doesn’t want 2 change Adam. he wants a better grasp on wht Adam’s experiences r like so he can help n minimize stress abt certain things. fr Adam tht’s definitely like.. foreign territory, bc as u’ve mentioned b4 + my personal hc as well, his parents didn’t really care 2 get him formally diagnosed + even acted like there was No Way he cld be neurodivergent in any sense, so 2 have some1 who is interested n respectful is So important 2 him. (personal hc time: I hc Adam as both adhd AND autistic like me so there’s tht!!)

so like he takes notice of th way Adam likes 2 roll things btwn his fingers (shirt sleeves, shirt hems, hoodie drawstrings, blankets, soft fabrics he likes the texture of, etc.) n is just like Oh Idea. I like 2 think he gets Adam one of those bead lanyards (like this one, which I also have!) fr him to fidget w n he kind of presents it like “I thought maybe u wld like smth like this?” n honestly he’s a lil nervous abt what Adam is going 2 say. but Adam takes it n holds it fr a minute, rolling th beads n messing w th lanyard itself 2 kind of test it, n he just looks up n smiles n he’s like “I love this. u’ve been paying tht much attention??” n fr Lawrence it’s just like “yes? of course? bc I love u?” like it’s th simplest thing in th world n Adam’s just. Huh. no he does Not tear up, if Lawrence told u tht he’s lying. he’s just Rly not used 2 ppl who want 2 know more without wanting to “get inside his head” or belittle him fr it (ties into my hc tht fr th most part, Adam hasn’t rly had any Good friends...) so it takes a lil getting used to.

another thing!! Lawrence does is ask 2 listen 2 Adam infodump abt his special interests - esp photography!! like they do this thing where if it’s not too late at night by th time Lawrence comes home frm work, Lawrence will take a quick shower n then get into his pajamas n into bed (just fr some quiet quality time b4 they go to bed, bc he still tends 2 come home a bit late), n he’ll have Adam sit next 2 him n he’ll be like “what do u want to tell me?” bc tht’s another thing tht Adam was entirely unused 2 - having ppl who didn’t just tolerate his infodumping, they wanted to hear it. Lawrence might be th first person to not actually give him shit fr it/tell him he’s being annoying/shut him down completely. again, it takes Adam a lil bit to b fully comfortable w it, but once he is he adores having tht time to be excited abt things w another person! who he knows Wants to listen!! (if we’re going th route I personally like 2 think abt sometimes too, where Lawrence is autistic as well, I feel like they infodump back n forth abt photography n medical stuff. do either of them rly know what the other is saying? not rly. are they listening happily bc that’s their partner n it’s smth they’re excited abt? oh absolutely!)

I think Adam has a tendency to eat a lot of th same foods bc they’re safe n he knows he likes them/doesn’t mind their texture (which is a big issue w trying new foods fr him), which is smth tht Lawrence also takes note of and as such, he likes 2 make sure they’re regularly stocked up on at least some of tht stuff. it’s not even smth he tells Adam he’s doing, bc it’s rly tht simple 2 him - Adam likes these things n therefore we shld have them at th house - but fr Adam it’s just One Of Those Things, y’know?? he got so much shit as a kid fr being such a “picky eater” n got shit fr it as a teenager too bc “why don’t u ever try anything new??” was smth his friends/parents Loved 2 say. it’s th fact tht Lawrence rolls w it so easily, doesn’t poke or prod for reasons he eats th way he does, and doesn’t get upset w him fr it/try 2 force him into things he isn’t comfortable w. it means a lot to him, more than he’ll ever have words 2 say (but he does always kiss Lawrence’s cheek when he gets back frm th store n he sees some of his same foods, which is just as good). it’s loving tht he’s autistic because it’s a part of him, a fact, not despite or in spite of. tht’s what’s so nice n kind of healing abt it; feeling safe 2 express yrself as u are w a partner who u know u can trust. who maybe words questions a bit funny sometimes, completely unintentionally, not out of malice (where allistic Lawrence is concerned, anyway). Adam feels Safe, n tht means a lot 2 him.

as fr ways he helps him!! a big thing is tht Lawrence is observant, esp as they spend more n more time together. a lot of th time, even when it’s just th two of them alone, Adam might have trouble maintaining eye contact fr an extended period of time, n Lawrence might not know how much it Actually helps, but he doesn’t mind tht Adam doesn’t always look at his face when they’re talking. it’s smth tht takes a little getting used 2, but he was never shitty about it w Adam. the way he sees it is if it makes Adam more comfortable, why shld he get upset abt it? it’s not like he doesn’t know when Adam’s talking 2 him anyway, or tht he can’t tell if Adam is listening; Lawrence knows both of those things, so Adam not making eye contact isn’t a problem, y’know? it’s okay. n I rly don’t know if Lawrence is fully aware of how much Adam appreciates tht.

another thing is he’s patient + understanding when Adam is nonverbal, whether it be bc he’s having a shutdown/meltdown, sensory overload, or just plain Difficulty w speech. it kinda depends on what I’m writing at th time, but I feel like Adam might have picked up at least a lil bit of sign language here n there; mostly simple phrases tht get th point across. I like 2 think Lawrence learns what they mean so he can take tht stress off of Adam’s shoulders, but most times, Adam is just comfortable sitting in silence w someone he cares abt.

OH brief thing Lawrence is RLY good at helping w pressure stims. he gives amazing bear hugs n I feel like he’d also probably let Adam lay on him if they’re on th couch/in bed. I just Feel It.

-

OHH I think abt Eric finally developing a special interest now tht he feels more comfortable w doing so a lot. honestly I kind of rly like th idea tht his special interest might be info abt rats! it kind of hits him when he catches himself writing down lil facts (tht might not even be related to pet care!) in his notebook so he’ll remember them + always being excited 2 learn more n share what he’s learned. it makes Adam SO happy to see him being comfortable w tht aspect of himself, esp now that he’s safe to explore it w ppl who understand n who won’t discourage him/belittle him for it,, Mallick too of course, but Adam knows how much Eric struggled w tht kind of thing for such a long time so he’s just. Ah. 🥺🥺

like they’ll all b chilling on th couch (Eric, Mallick, n Adam) n Eric will have his head against Adam’s shoulder while his hand is on Mallick’s chest, who has HIS head in Eric’s lap w his legs dangling off th armrest, n he’ll be like “did u know tht when rats r happy, they grind their teeth together? it’s called bruxing n then sometimes their eyes move in their sockets rly fast while they’re doing it. tht’s called boggling.” n Adam will be smiling so wide when he says he didn’t know tht but it’s rly cool!! n then Mallick will start asking questions n he n Adam just listen while Eric infodumps fr probably th very first time since he was very very young, before it was masked out of him by his parents. n he finds tht he Doesn’t feel so bad abt it anymore, not when he’s around ppl who want him to be happy and want to see him be happy - esp ppl who encourage it n let him know it isn’t smth he has to hide/keep locked away. it’s hard 2 b ashamed of himself when Adam n Mallick r looking at him w genuine interest in their eyes n so so much love.

he might still like, slip back into masking behaviour every now n then, bc it’s something he’s still dealing w n learning 2 leave behind, but after he discovers his first special interest it gets a little easier, letting go of that way of life. it was smth he was forced into by adults who didn’t actually want th best for him like they said they did when they put him through “therapy,” but w partners he knows understand n who are even autistic themselves, Eric slowly learns 2 be more comfortable w it. it’s slow, but it’s progress. bit of a learning curve. he’ll get there.

[bellafarella]

Soooo I very obviously don’t know the whole situation with Noel but I read some of your asks and I saw people saying that they wished he would have made a more public statement regarding the “situation” to like apologize (???? Hopefully I’m not confusing you bc I very honestly am still trying to catch up myself lol) And I don’t like to make excuses for anyone but we all know he’s not active on social media unless he’s promoting his jobs and also I think that his age plays a factor in why he didn’t feel the need to make a big to-do or announcement. I doubt he’s following any young influencers who make notes app apologies 24/7 just to settle down their scandals, SOOO I honestly think that him unfollowing the cop was his way of righting his wrongs. I don’t think it even occurred to him that “hey the teens who follow me want me to write an explanation and apology”. I can say for myself that not even I know who I’m following half the time and once I see something on my feed that’s the only way I’m really aware of who I’ve chosen to follow. This year a lot of ppls true colors have been shown based on their political opinions and even their stances on blm and as a black female I took it among myself to unfollow ppl who did not support me and who were overall just not people I want to associate myself with. BUT GOING BACK ON TOPIC (sorry for the rant) with social media we only see what ppl WANT us to see so you’re following wtv image they’ve presented to the world unknowing of who these ppl really are. Once again idk the ins and outs of what happened but as far as I can tell so far is he happened to be following a bad person and when he realized that he unfollowed them. I don’t see why that needs to be hyper analyzed and dragged out. Cancel culture leaves absolutely no room to see both sides of any situation and in situations of blatant racism and homophobia an explanation is not needed but for something as vague as who someone’s following even after they’ve unfollowed them, I truly don’t think that this warrants a big to-do and ESPECIALLY not death threats. (Ik this is long and all over the place so feel free not to post it but I just wanted to get this out bc from the little bit I have learned this seems a bit blown out of proportion and I hope me saying thag doesn’t offend anyone)

All. Of. This.

Thank you! I agree. I think his age and how he's never usually on social media play a huge part in it. He unfollowed when he realized that person was problematic. I don't feel the need to announce every time I unfollow someone because I saw some shit I dont agree with. I get its different cause he's famous and I'm not but like noel doesn't use social media like all of us and influencers do. He uses it to promote his acting and when it was time to vote he promoted getting out there and voting to make a difference.

Cancel culture is very extreme and not always warranted. Yes for known racists, homophobes, antisemites, rapists, etc, cancel them and keep them accountable for their actions, but to wanna cancel someone for someone they followed when we don't know for a fact he even knows this person irl or if he even knew he was problematic.

Unfollowing, muting, and blocking people is the way to go. If you notice someone you're following posting shit you don't agree with or not posting when it comes to issues you care deeply about then please unfollow them, mute them or block them so you don't have to see them pop up again.

I literally cut a friend loose after almost a decade and blocked her on all social media. I didn't agree with anything she said when it came to covid or the BLM protests and then when I had surgery she didn't message me once. She isn't someone I need in my life. If I could cut someone out whos been in my life for that long, you can definitely unfollow some random ass person on social media because you don't agree with their opinions, politics, or whatever.

Anyways now I went off on a tangent LOL all this to say thank you for sharing and I agree with you!

[zukoshotleafjuice]

The funniest thing about june teasing katara and zuko about being a couple is that she just sees a pretty girl and an attractive guy, both looking almost the same age which immediately makes her go "you two must be a couple" and it just reminds me of zvtara shippers, you know what i mean? I'm convinced one of the reasons a lot of ppl ship them is bc of their looks. katara being the female protagonist and also a pretty, smart and powerful girl & zuko, despite not being the male protagonist, being the most attractive guy in the gaang. Boom, a "bomb ass ship". It is worth to recall that "people ship zutara bc they projected onto katara and had a crush on zuko". And if they say they don't ship them for that reason, then it's bc they read too much between the lines in every interaction they have. So, back to june, she didn't even care if they had chemistry or if they were friends or anything, she just straight up teased them about being a couple lmao. Because in all honesty zvtara can be an appealing ship in anyone's eyes but THAT'S IT, it doesn't go further than that. I can be testimony of that😅Before even watching the show i was like june, one day i saw a zk fanart and was like "wow aren't those zuko and katara from atla? They look so good, she's gorgeous and he's hot" i already knew kataang was endgame and that mai was zuko's love interest but seeing zuko and katara together was pleasing to my eyes. However once i watched the show for the first time (2 months ago i think) i realized there was really no romantic chemistry between them, nothing, literally nothing, i mean, i wasn't even waiting for the zvtara content in the show that made ppl ship them so much, i was actually very neutral about ships, i couldn't care less about them, but i still realized nothing was happenig between them and that it was obvious since book 1 ep 1 that kataang was endgame. Zuko and katara were two teenagers from opposite sides of a war that tried to kill each other multiple times and when zuko changed sides they developed a completely platonic relationship. As i said, people either ship them because it's an appealing and aesthetically pleasing ship (water/fire, enemies to lovers, opposites attract, the common red & blue ship) or they just love reading too much between the lines, OR BOTH, because they were so thirsty about it they ended up convincing themselves there was romantic tension between them, that they liked each other and that zvtara was scrapped when it was never planned in the first place. Not to mention the reasons why they claim zvtara should've been endgame are based only on symbolism and things they have in common that are just so ??? Random. e.g. (i saw these on a post on facebook and the comment section was hilarious, it was full of ppl being sarcastic about it & making fun of it) saying they should've been canon bc:

1. "They both lost their mothers at a young age" (?)

2. "katara was good but had rage in her heart and zuko was bad but had good in his heart so it was like yin and yang, and that was the main purpose/topic of the show" (?)

3. "they both had alter egos (painted lady and blue spirit)" (???) this one sounds like saying maiko was canon bc zuko worked in a tea shop and mai worked in a flower shop😂

4. "Zuko was the only one who supported katara in taking revenge on her mom's assassin" (?) if you ask me, that just proves zuko is not right for katara, he led her to do something she was gonna regret later (not trying to hate on zuko, i love him, and since i love him i acknowledge his flaws. I understand why he thought it was the best thing to do, he's an impulsive and resentful boy (he would've done the same if it was his mom) and he noticed how thirsty katara was for revenge, ofc he wanted to help her + he wanted her to accept him and thought it was the right thing to do in order to gain her trust, but it wasn't) unlike zuko, aang tried to make katara come to her senses and do the thing that was best for her: forgive and let go, and it was basically what she did at the end. She didn't do what zuko expected her to do. She did what aang expected her to do. She didn't forgive her mom's assassin, but she forgave zuko, and she didn't do THAT thing she (and aang) knew would regret later. Aang knew katara and what was the best thing for her to do.

5. and the most ridiculous one, "they both saved each other's lives in the final agni kai"(???????) and the funniest part is that it was followed by "WHAT MORE PROOFS DO YOU WANT???". Honestly wtf did ppl expect? Did they expect zuko to stand there and watch katara die? Did they expect katara to just stand there and watch zuko lay on the floor & die? And this has been said a million times and i am going to join and say it once again: zuko would've done that for ANYONE from the gaang, he would've done the same for toph, sokka, suki and aang. Because he learned to care about them. As for katara, she would've done that for anyone too wtf she healed aang once too and even brought him back to life. (I wouldn't be surprised if zk shippers used that as a parallel for romantic zvtara proof bc they're just like that💀)

There were more "reasons" but they're just so stupid and taken out of context like "they care for each other" & "katara was the one who encouraged him to talk to his uncle" like yeah that's what friends do. Basically all zvtara shippers do is REACH.

Also, i just can't see it happening. I like the enemies to lovers trope, maybe if the writers really intended to make it canon, i would have been down for the ship, it would've been interesting to see how it developed, but,, they didn't, and later i came to the realization that if it would've really happened, it would've been so... weird. Time to bring up the "colonized and colonizer ship" and how some ppl feel uncomfortable about it. Besides the fact that a relationship between zuko and katara wouldn't have worked (they're incompatible af, katara is a girl with a strong character and zuko is a guy with anger issues that takes everything personal, they'd be at each other's throats 99% of the time) it's just weird to think that katara would choose to marry a man from the fire nation, the nation that caused a big war that traumatized her, the nation that took her mother away from her. Imagine katara ruling along with zuko a nation she despised for years. Fire lady katara doesn't sit right with me, and i'm sure it doesn't sit right with a lot of ppl as well. I don't see katara doing that, and yes, i know she forgave zuko, but still, she would've never done that 🤦🏽‍♀️ i think it would've been so OOC tbh.

Another thing i laugh my ass off at is when they say "zuko should've chosen katara instead of mai" as if they were ever in a relationship for zuko to say "ok imma choose katara i wanna be with her". As if katara was EVER an option for him. They never showed interest in each other, what's not clicking?????? And zuko only had eyes for mai, not to mention that despite zuko and mai had a rough relationship, no girl would've dealed with zuko's bs better than mai. Can you imagine katara dealing with zuko blowing up over everything? Because i can't. Also people saying things like "zuko deserves someone who is always there for him and listens to him" (and ofc they're talking about katara) like, ok, you hate that katara is aang's "therapist" but you want her to be zuko's therapist. Logic? Where? And I do remember mai being a supportive gf and trying to cheer him up multiple times. Did they watch the same show as me?

Zvtarians try to play the victims about how they were "robbed" bc some voice actors shipped them and from what i've read people who worked for the show suggested to go for zk, but that's stupid, it doesn't count as "they planned it but scrapped it, we were robbed". The only word that counts are the creators' voice and they have stated they were always rooting for kataang, so no, you were not robbed.

People are just so in love with the idea of zuko and katara together they really convinced themselves it was likely to happen. Honestly zvtara it's a fine ship as fanon but ppl ruined it for me and what i hate the most is when they ship it and hate on aang and mai at the same time and make them look SO bad to invalidate kataang and maiko. Saying aang is abusive and mai is toxic is complete ✨bullshit✨ and lastly, it's ridiculous when they say the creators were cowards for not making it canon. They're cowards for not fulfilling your greatest childhood wish? Something they never planned? It is THEIR show. If you hate sm how things turned out then quit atla once and for all and go find another show that you know is gonna give you what you expect,,, it's tiring that they've been crying about it for 15 yrs , like, i joined the fandom recently but i can imagine how tired old atla fans must be of this.

OK so I have a lot of thoughts about this and firstly,,,anon I appreciate the dedication that it took for you to write  this, and I agree with many of your points. However, the attitude I have on this blog towards Avatar ships is far more neutral than what you’re saying.

Ultimately, romance is not and never was the focus of Avatar. Romantic development was always secondary or tertiary plot, and the entire show was far more focused on platonic relationship development. My attitude towards shippers on here - including Zutara shippers - is that people can ship what they want, as long as they’re respectful of each other and of the other characters that “interfere” with their ship. End of the day, shipping is irrelevant to the core of the show. 

People shipping something because they find it aesthetically appealing is honestly,,,fine. Personally, I think it’s reductionist, but I don’t care if you do because everyone has the right to enjoy media however they want to. 

That being said, we absolutely should call out racist or problematic tropes that we see, including ‘fire lady katara”. I also agree that it’s upsetting when people bash other characters in order to further their ship, as much of the bashing is also pretty racist and/or misogynistic. Calling that out, however, is separate from calling out every single person who happens to enjoy certain ships. 

“She didn't do what zuko expected her to do. She did what aang expected her to do. She didn't forgive her mom's assassin, but she forgave zuko, and she didn't do THAT thing she (and aang) knew would regret later. Aang knew katara and what was the best thing for her to do.”

I understand where you’re coming from, but I honestly disagree with this take. Both Aang and Zuko were approaching the situations from their own life experiences, but Katara didn’t do what either of the boys wanted. She chose her own path, by both sparing Yon Rha’s life but also refusing to forgive him. The episode is about Katara and her personal trauma and its focus should not be on her relationships with either Zuko or Aang. 

When I make posts such as this, it’s less about hating Z*tara and more about how this fandom focuses all its attention on romance and shipping, to the point where if you acknowledge a relationship’s importance it’s assumed you pair the two romantically. I don’t read Zuko and Katara’s relationship as romantic (for reasons that it would take too long to explain here), but their relationship development is extremely important, the two of them share tons of parallels and the final Agni Kai marks the culmination of both of their character arcs. Yes, Zuko would have taken the lightning for any of the characters, but it’s thematically important that it was Katara. None of this inherently means it’s romantic, but refusing to acknowledge the significance of the relationship between them is equally reductionist. 

This isn’t an attack on you, anon, and you’re 100% allowed to have negative feelings about a ship. But at the end of the day, it’s not worth getting this worked up over. If I were you I’d focus more on creating/consuming content for a ship you like than bashing ships you don’t!

[sweet-xoxo-thatcares]

Just found out Grandma has cancer and she's moving in with the hospital bed package I helped put together today at the house.

The lady says she weighs less than 100 pounds and needs an oxygen tank.

This don't even feel real.

I'm helping the lady setup the bed, lifting stuff, and cleaning out the bunch of clothes and junk that nobody uses and it really didn't kick in...

It still hasn't.

My heart Andy hand was shaking as I had to sign the delivery note.

Not even a "Good luck with your Grandma" or "Condolences to you and your family" I told the delivery lady she had cancer and we're talking about it like its a happy topic on the news. She had music to keep her going as she picked up stuff off the truck. I wanted to tell her come back, wait...like are you sure you got the right house?

Like are you sure mom and dad or grandma isn't playing. Cause I haven't seen her in like a month. My clothes and stuff is still at her house in Grand Rapids.

And I don't wanna run into any arms. Like I don't wanna hear nothing but silence for the next 3 or 4hrs.

I'm trembling, shaking, paranoid.

I almost had a panic attack after that lady left. Well let's be real, I did.

But the fact that everybody else in this family is acting like this shit is normal and everybody wants me to behave....I can't say or do shit about it.

Like my room is connected to her room. Imma have to get used to walking past her bed just to use the bathroom. And eat?

I don't even know if I will, cause here's the thing....mom and dad are most likely gonna put me on duty. And last time when I spent a week with her, taking care of her...I was so stressed out, that I didn't even eat.

And cancer did pop in my head as a worst case scenario, because we had no clue what she had and she seemed ok when I got kicked out in March.

She avoided doctors and the hospital for years after her surgeries. I just....

I don't even know if I wanna know what stage she is at. Cause last time I stayed, when we had that argument, she wasn't eating too good, cheeks sunken in, I knew something was wrong. Even her house, her dishes were all piled up with black mould on em from being in the sink of dirty water too long. It felt like we stepped into a resident evil house from that one in the country. Even momma said that's not like her, because old ocd Clara, does not play about cleaning dishes. Soups did her no good and she was only getting down like 2-4 pieces of watermelon that daddy had brought. And her house in the summer is hot as heck, so I'm glad daddy had bought her that air purifying fan. She just did not go to the hospital. She said no for the longest when we offered to take her.

I'm glad she finally said yes.

But I don't know how far along she is. Everything has changed so much in less than a year.

I don't even know if I'll be the same after this. And I got a giant ear and toothache that keeps creeping in when I get too stressed like this.

I pray I stay away from drinking. Cause my hallucinations get worse after drinking...I really need to see a psychiatrist about that.

I just hope mom and dad don't start fussing again at home, it's already tight, mom is still going through alzheimers grief with our other grandma. Like she forgot her name already once. And these two strong black women that I grew up on are near 70. Clara, with cancer 67.

I don't even know what my father feels about this and that's what scares me the most. Cause he's mostly been the type to say he's okay, doing fine or alright if I ask him how he feels, buy he doesn't ever really change unless something super pisses him off...like cars parking too close when there's empty spots, drivers doing wide turns, people walking 8 ppl wide on the sidewalk at an amusement park or public event.

Or if he gets into with momma, but they haven't fought as much since I left in March...

But idk. With those two both on edge, the only time they can talk about emotions in a calm way is when they drink or go out to the bar, eat some wings, and get some drafts going while watching the game.

But that was younger dad, and this is now. Now...I assume he's gonna do a lot more golfing...

Idk how they're gonna manage us helping out.

But I pray I find my own job and apt soon. I wouldn't wanna live in chaos. Nor do I wanna fight about it either with my family, that have been known to push duties on me without really helping or noticing the people pleasing problem I learned from serving them all these years. I've never been allowed to say no to my mother and father. They always get upset with me when I do.

I don't wanna go through this alone, but as God showed me the ppl who really were a bad influence on my life, I don't have many friends to rely on to support me and pour my heart out too. After being hurt even when I dealt with the aftermath of that fight with mom, I found myself alone much more often than I thought. Missing the wrong ppl.

I'm not making that same mistake again. I'm not gonna make that silly mistake and call a guy only for him to take advantage of me sexually. I'm not having sex or making out with anybody unless we're committed to each other and he's already proven he's with me for love and not just sex.

Cause there are nice guys who try to outsmart women who would rather have sex after commitment, only to play them after giving the gf title.

How the fuck did I get to this topic, and I just found out Grandma Clara has cancer and we don't know how long for or what stage she's at?

See how far my mind overthinks in critical situations like this?

Now I'm off to watching Kenny Rogers cause I'm feeling a country craving right after I just cried my tears and helped clean her room, assembled her bed..

Ppl don't usually prepare for having a family member you didn't expect to take care of for cancer, it sorta feels low, because I don't know what to expect when she comes tomorrow...I don't know exactly what's gonna happen, but I pray I get a job close by so I can at least have a place to stay away from my already crazy home, and get moving on goals and dreams.

But I know why I feel so obligated to leave and to stay for grandma in flint...because I don't know what's going to happen to her or to me. And she's been apart of me for such a long time. She used to be the only person who understood me when I would get to sensitive or have depression, separation anxiety, seeing or feeling dead people, reading dreams intuitively together. Me and her was like the grandpa off of Roald Dahl's Willy Wonka story. She was the older version of me, and nobody understood me like her. Everybody else in my family would make fun of me for being like her. Whenever mom thought I did something that reminded her of Clara, she'd called me by her first name "Clara." Cause she raised me awhile when dad and sometimes mom went to work. Daddy at football games in college, but I think he had to drop out after me....I kinda thought back and thought I was a burden as the reason why they always seemed to overwork me so young as the oldest. Put a smile on your face and go to your room to cry. Kinda like cinderella. Well grandma Clara said it....she always worried about that when she visited.

Her personality was similar to how Ms. Lisa was on Sister Sister. Ms. Talkative, except her favorite color was purple 💜 and she always had an ego, and intuitive perspective on alot of things. She could see things as if she knew what was gonna happen next, like predicting a chess move. Very determined, independent, she hates being wrong, and she'll bark her mouth off if you tried to debate with her. She liked dressing up and going out. But when she's frugal, she'll cook something at the house. Oh, and she loved sweets. And she loved to talk.

I mean lots. I would say our usual was 2hrs, but that was so long ago. I definitely feel the change settling in. Only time will tell.

[donkey-hyuck]

— thank you ❤︎

~ as i am writing this, i have surpassed 400 followers (now at 402)! i am thankful for everyone who has followed me and followed my passion as a writer. i started this blog somewhere last year (mayb march of 2019??) but unfortunately, i did delete my first few posts— even tho i really regret deleting it in the first place— but they were just not good so ig i had a reason??? however, thank you all for liking my shit haha

it’s kind of upsetting bc i have no asks to actually answer, but half of my followers are moots— lmao—and i’m so glad and thankful for every one of you. you all made me realize that i could be myself and even brought out a side of me i didn’t even knew i had. i’ve met so many good people that i genuinely consider friends and i’m so happy! so a big thanks for my following is all of you!!💗 (not gonna tag ppl bc ion wanna be cheesy😭)

now i have some giftes for y’all! i’ve updated my headers (of which have alr been edited and posted for the teasers), and i have some story ideas and headers alr in mind so i’m just gonna give them to you!

❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

— (song fic; butterflies by queen naija) ↴

genre- angst (in the beginning) || fluff (pray for me)|| lil suggestive || strangers to friends to lovers|| college!au

characters/pairing- basketball player!yukhei x fem!reader || wayv/nct || (more to come..)

— in the midst of your relationship crisis, you’re set up with one of the most known basketball players in the district. though, you were more alike than you thought, yukhei made you feel some type of way; only for the feeling to be reciprocated. and you caused butterflies in each other’s tummies.

— release date: to be determined

❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

— (song fic; i.l.y. by the rose) ↴

genre- fluff || angst || idol!au

characters/pairing- idol!jisung x younger, fem!reader || nct || other sm artists

— the reality of the world hit you both in the face. he was an idol and you were just an ordinary person that attended school and just overall worked your ass off. exposed by a dispatch article, there were an abundance of people that said the two of you would never work and that you were too young. yet you and jisung proved society wrong. and after quite the buzz, sm had released a press confirmation that changed your lives; and for the better.

— release date: to be determined

❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

— (demi-god!au) ↴

genre- fluff || maybe a lil suggestive || also maybe a bit angst??? || demi-god! au || college freshman! au || e2l! au

characters/pairing- demi-god!donghyuck x fem, mortal!reader || nct || (more to come..)

— his secret was out, but no one cared. in fact, it made them love him even more. the son of nike, goddess of victory. he excelled at everything, only he was the exact opposite of his mother, and you hated him for that.

— release date: to be determined

❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

— (criminal!au) ↴

genre- princess! au || criminal! au || angst || fluff ||suggestive

characters/pairing- criminal!hyuck X princess!reader || nct || (more to come..)

— born and raised in the castle, you never really got to experience life out of it. everything you did and learned had to be within the castle walls. yet, you were soon to be the queen, and have barely seen the people living in your kingdom. it was a shame, truly. but one night, whilst tossing and turning in your sleep, the bustle of rope on your balcony had instinctively told you to rise. slowly, opening the balcony doors, you’re met with criminal mastermind, lee donghyuck. you felt attracted to him the minute he spoke. and he promised you freedom from your own people. but he lied about who he was and his past, and when you later found out, you felt so damn naive.

— release date: to be determined

❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

— (tv show inspired) ↴

genre- fluff || a lot of action (bc I’m a nerd)

characters/pairing- not a lot of pairing (even tho aang and katara highkey had a thing) avatar!mark x fem, waterbender!reader || nct || (more to come..)

— after accidentally coming across the last air bender with your brother, he is faced with the reality of the world a hundred years later. the fire nation had taken over almost all the villages across the globe. you and your brother had been destined to help out the avatar. and it was the avatar’s destiny to restore peace in the world. now it was time for the avatar to master all elements to defeat the fire nation and end the hundred year war; all while having the smallest crush on said water bender.

— release date: to be determined

❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

— (pirate!au) ↴

genre- angst || fluff-ish lol || maybe a bit suggestive??

characters/pairing- pirate!hendery x runaway bride!reader || wayv/nct || (more to come..)

— you were arranged to be engaged to some snobby hero. but he was no hero, he was an impulsive liar. the man only got away with things because of his charm. everyone in the whole town believed what he said, no matter how false it was. the only true thing about him was that he loved you yet you didn’t have the guts to love him back. and on the day of your wedding, things didn’t go as planned and you were stolen as a victim. aboard the pirate ship, famous for its savages, wong kunhang is the captain of the boat and has a huge debt to pay.

— release date: to be determined

❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

— (prince!au) ↴

genre- maleficent! au || dark fey! au || prince! au || angst || fantasy || suggestive

characters/pairing- prince!jaemin X fey, fem!reader || nct || (more to come..)

— the boy, na jaemin. ever since he had been born, stories of the fey’s had been the main talk within the kingdom for centuries. and na jaemin was an inquisitive person. so when one of his knights had told him a story about his experience with a fey, his curiosity only grew more. he was a very young boy when he first snuck out of the kingdom walls, out into the forest surrounding it. the rustling of the trees and branches only filled his ears as the moonlight cascaded onto his pale skin. until it was completely covered. since then, years had passed by, and na jaemin finds himself venturing past the walls once more. to find the fey that drew him into the mystical world behind it.

— release date: to be determined

❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

— (from this point on, these fics i just haven’t written down yet) ↴

genre- prince/king!au || fluff || angst

characters/pairing- prince!taeil x seamstress!reader || nct || (more to come..)

— prince moon taeil, now, king. he’d first met you when you were both twelve. living at the orphanage at the time, taeil was amazed at how beautifully skilled you were at your music abilities. his mother and father had always thrived off of the sound and calmness music had brought them. but when he introduced you as a musician, they had refused to acknowledge you and expelled you from ever getting near their son and the castle ever again. but taeil would not give up, because after all those years of listening to you, he’d developed feelings. you were the music notes to his own song; the pauper and the prince. (rough-draft summary)

— release date: to be determined

❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

— (song fic; when night falls [긴밤이오면 OST] by eddy kim) ↴

genre- post breakup!au (if that makes sense) || long distance relationship!au || ghost!au || angst :’)

characters/pairing- ghost!jungwoo x fem!reader || nct || (more to come..)

— they said long distance relationships weren’t easy. but after five whole years, you and jungwoo had proved the hypothesis wrong. there was the occasional meeting while you were in seoul but other than that, it was all screens and pixelated lovers. however, when you got moved to a new job, farther than what you had expected, your path was solely based on your career and so you broke up with the man. three years had then gone by with little communication until the second year came and jungwoo completely cut contact with you. but when you came back to visit friends, kim jungwoo’s spirit— who now roams the streets of seoul, korea— notices you’re back; but you never noticed that he was gone. (rough-draft summary)

— release date: to be determined

❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

— (high school! au) ↴

genre- high school (musical)!au || lots of fluff || a lil angst

characters/pairing- troy bolton esque! chenle, gabriella montez esque!reader || nct || (more to come..)

— after moving across the country, your father was granted an internship. so once you moved to the place you didn’t call home, there was someone that brought it all back. who knew after one interaction would make you feel this way? (rough-draft summary)

— release date: to be determined

❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

thank you all again!! please look forward to these! i love you to the universe and back!💗

[endless-whump]

Kefi: Why?

CW: Fantasy racism of sorts, normalized hostility, dehumanizing language

Universe belongs to @wildfaewhump! <3

Note: Kefi was originally referred to as male/he/him when I first started writing with them, but they/them pronouns feel like they fit better, so that's what I’ll be referring to them with from this point :)

Masterlist

---

“You got a problem?”

Kefi stopped where they were rummaging through flowers, looking up curiously.  There was a tall man standing across from them, leaning against the booth and staring.  They tilted their head curiously, observing the scar on his lip and his strange, hostile demeanor.

“I asked you a question, fae.”

“Um, I have no problem..I’m sorry?”  They didn’t quite understand what the man was asking them.

“Why are you putting your filthy magic all over these innocent people’s wares then?  You think we’re dumb?”

They retracted their hands carefully from where they were elbow deep in the flowers, wings folding as they shrank back, trying to make themselves smaller.  They hated that they didn’t have their hair to hide behind anymore, to let curtain in front of their eyes to hide how nervous they were.  Matelia had “fixed it up” for them, trimmed up the sloppily cropped hair the attackers had left behind.  She’s insisted it would grow back, that it would all be ok.. But they still missed it.

“So?” The man demanded, sneering at the cowering fae. It turned a few heads, but nobody intervened.  “Do you, fae? You think you can-”

“Kefi, is he bothering you?”

They felt a warm, solid hand on their shoulder as Metilia put herself between them, glaring at the stranger.  Her height towering over Kefi made them feel safe, made them feel protected.  They hated how wary and jumpy they got, after the incident down south.  They felt like they had to constantly be watching over their shoulder, be looking out for danger.  This wasn’t what they expected people to be like.

“I..um-”

“No, actually it was bothering me,” The man cut in.  “You really expect a fae to wander the streets unchecked without causing issues? Look at how disheveled it is, it’s up to no good.”

Kefi bristled at that, moving further behind Metilia defensively.  

“Listen, there’s no reason to harass random people in the market, so mind your damn business,” She snapped at him, steering Kefi away.  She tossed some coins at the table where the merchant sat, mostly ignoring the conversation.  “Come on, Kefi.  Grab what you came for and lets go.”

They fumbled for the bundle of herbs they’d set down, hurring to stay close to Metilia as she stormed off, a hand on their arm.  The pair maneuvered through the market, the crowds of people either hurrying to stay away from the fae or completely ignoring them, shoving past roughly as they made their way through the crowd.

Kefi struggled to keep up, side aching from where were bandages still wrapped securely around their torso, hidden by the long shirt they wore.

They finally broke free from the crowd, chest heaving with the effort it took to breathe from the fast pace and anxiety.  Metilia turned back, loosening her grip on their arm.

“You ok?” She asked, watching as Kefi nodded shakily.  The tall woman bit her lip, glancing around like she was expecting pursuers.  “Let's go home, I don’t think that guy was alone and I don’t want to risk anything.”

She offered her hand to Kefi, who took it gratefully as they made their way out of town, cautious of the hostile stares as they walked.

--

Kefi settled down happily on the expanse of pillows and blankets laid out for them by the fireplace as Metilia dropped her bags on the table, sighing.  They probably had enough to last at least a week before they had to make another supply run, which was something Kefi was grateful for.

They were exhausted, stretching their dappled brown wings out with a shudder and draping them across the blankets.  Metilia chuckled, shaking her head.

“You look burnt out, Kefi.  Want me to make us something to eat?”

Kefi nodded enthusiastically, large eyes looking up at her with a wholehearted trust that almost made Metilia sad.  They shouldn’t trust her, she thought to herself.  Not this easily, at least.  She was always looking for some boundary, some bit of mistrust they had in her, but there was none, at least not after they weren’t scared and in pain and confused.

She shook her head, muttering to herself as she unpacked the groceries they’d gotten and started making a stew. It was growing darker, and she started up the fireplace to keep the house warm as it got cooler.

Kefi fluffed out their feathers, a soft rumbling sound coming from the back of their throat as they soaked in the warmth, limp and relaxed. They preened some of their feathers absentmindedly, fidgeting as they watched Metilia prepare the food.

They were always so observant like that, wide eyes following your movements in an openly curious way.

Metilia liked to observe the fae when they weren’t paying attention, not that they ever seemed to mind anyways. Their short, brown hair was ruffled, never seeming to lay flat on their head, just like their feathers, giving them a disheveled look. They looked fairly young, but Metilia knew better. Fae could live for a very long time, she’d heard, although exactly how long everyone claimed was different. She wasn’t going to ask them of course, but she was curious nonetheless.

“Metilia?”

She looked up from where she was standing, deep in her thoughts and was met by that curious, freckled face.

“Hm?”

They tilted their head a little, pressing their lips together in consideration before asking.

“Why...why was that man..angry at me? Did I do something wrong?”

Metilia stopped what she was doing, wiping her hands on her tunic.

“No, Kefi. You didn’t do anything wrong, I promise. You have to understand..a lot of people don’t like fae.” She didn’t know how to explain it to them. “Not everyone is like me, Kefi. There are people who would be very willing to hurt you, or try to hunt you.”

“Like..like the market? Where you found me?”

Her heart twisted in sadness at the thought of where she’d found them, beaten and left outside town.

“Yea..kinda like that.”

“Oh,”

It was quiet for a moment, the crackling of the fire filling the odd silence, even for just a moment.

“Why?”

She didn’t know how to answer the question, at least in a way they’d understand.

“Because they think you use your abilities against them-“

“But I don’t,” Kefi cut in, voice small and desperate.

“I know, Kefi, but not everyone gets that. You just..you can’t just walk up to everyone you meet and expect to be friendly when you're different, you just can’t, ok? Why don’t you understand that?”

Metilia knew it was a mistake as soon as the words left her mouth, the fae’s face falling. She could almost see them shrink back a little, wings wrapping around them slightly. She hadn’t meant to snap at them..

“Kefi..”

“I know,” they murmured, voice small. “I’m sorry..I just..nevermind.”

She watched them turn away, curled up in a tight ball and bury themselves under the blankets surrounding the nest of sorts on the floor. Guilt gnawed at her as it went quiet again, and she took the pot of stew off the stovetop.

Kefi stared into the fire, fighting back tears as Metilia’s words echoed in their mind. She was right, though. They didn’t want her to be, but she was.

They tried to deny it, tried to smile and offer greetings and be friendly, tried to ignore the stares and shoves and mutters, but they all hit hard, no matter how much they tried to bury them.

They picked at a string on the blanket they held close, remaining motionless even as Metilia set a bowl in front of them. It smelled delicious, but Kefi refused to even look at it as she settled down beside them.

“You should eat, Kefi.” She said softly, nudging it towards them.

No response.

Metilia sighed, moving closer next to them.  Kefi startled a little when she wrapped her arms around them, pulling them close.  They were tense for a moment, unsure, before relaxing into it.  She held the fae, even when they tried to stifle a small sob, shaking a little and burying their face against her.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that,” She murmured, rubbing small, reassuring circles against their shoulder.  Kefi brought their wings tightly around them, looking so, so small as they curled against Metilia for comfort, the tears not stopping.

“W..w,why do they h,hate me?” They whimpered miserably, holding on tight.  Metilia ran a hand through their hair, hugging them tightly.

“It's just fear, Kefi.  Pure and simple fear.  It’s not your fault.”  She reassured.  “They don’t know what to do with that fear, so they get angry, so they can feel like they’re in control of something.”

They kept crying, and she let them.  She let them choke on sobs and hide against her until they eventually got quieter, got more tired.

The stew sat, uneaten, as Kefi tired themself out, eyes slipping shut as Metilia kept scratching softly at their scalp, humming softly.  She kept doing it even after they were asleep, staring into the fire and wondering idly if she’d ever be able to truly answer their question.

Their question of why

--

Tag list: (I don’t have a tag list for Kefi specifically but these ppl wanted to be tagged in all writing, plz lemme know if you wanna be removed <3

@spiffythespook@simplygrimly @cinnamonflavoredhugs

[starryseo]

phone number. | yang jeongin

pairing ↠ jeongin x gender neutral!reader

genre ↠ just a fluffy barista au!!

wc ↠ 3229

summary ↠ jeongin likes you a latte.

warnings ↠ just jeongin being cute and in loooove. its cringey.

a/n ↠ barista!jeongin bc who doesn’t love cafe aus?

cafe glow is well-known around these parts of town bc it has such!! great!! food and drinks!

it has a real homely feel so a lot of student from the nearby schools/ unis come here

and it’s a pretty big cafe so there’s a lot of space for ppl to come in and chill, whether that be large study groups or just individuals trying to cram for upcoming tests

that homely feel?? it’s bc of all the youngsters that basically run the cafe

it’s officially owned by mr and mrs bang, but their son, chan, manages this cafe a lot since they’ve got a few other places in town to run

chan loves recruiting teens to work bc, despite their hyperactivity (esp the lot that are currently there), they’re a lot less work to deal with than grumpy adults complaining abt wages

so!!

just a few months ago, jeongin started looking around for places to work at

let’s get that bread bro

he spoke to a lot of the nearby businesses like the florist, library and pizzeria but as soon as he entered glow and saw a blond guy downing shots of black coffee as he made different drinks, he Knew he wanted to work here

he headed straight to the counter (ok ofc he waited in line first but who cares abt that)

“welcome to glow, what can i get ya?”

“hi, i was wondering if you were hiring?”

“so,” the guy - nametag reading Felix - began, leaning forwards on the counter, “you wanna join the glow gang, huh? have you got what it takes??”

maybe he should’ve thought more clearly abt this-

“felix are u creeping out kids again?? i swear this is the last time i leave you on counter duty” the black-coffee-drinking blond huffed, wiping his hands on his apron as he left the coffee machines. he nudged felix out of the way, pushing him to the machines before he turned to jeongin. “i’m sorry abt him, i don’t know why i still keep him around”

“i heard that!”

 “anyway,” the blond - nametag with Chan printed on it - grinned, “what can i get for you?”

“a job here would be great”

“you really wanna work here,,,, with that?” he pointed over to felix who looked back with a frown

“yeah, it seems pretty fun!”

“you got a cv on you?”

jeongin is a Prepared Boi. before his job hunting run he printed off multiple copies of his cv so he handed it over to chan who briefly looked over it

“when can you start working?”

“when do you need me to?”

chan let out a chuckle at that, pocketing jeongin’s cv, “swing by tomorrow at 4 and we’ll work that out, yeah?”

jeongin went home a Happy Boy and the next day at exactly 4:37 he had landed himself a sweet job at cafe glow

ever since that day a few months ago, jeongin had been learning the ins and outs of the cafe

he’s learnt all about where felix hides his ‘secret’ stash of sweets, where to kick if the machines ever go down and jisung’s ability to not stop talking

jisung’s the guy in charge of training jeongin bc chan doesn’t trust felix with another human’s life and minho, an older uni student that works here part time, is way too busy flirting with customers to get more tips those uni fees won’t pay themselves u go bby

and chan himself already has a lot to deal with since he mainly works in the kitchens

so jisung has taken jeongin under his wing and taught him how to make all drinks (despite there being a manual for this) and how to deal with the customers

and even tho jisung is only 5 months older than jeongin, he n e v e r misses an opportunity to baby the hecc out of him

“what are the different cup sizes we have?”

“uh,, small,, medium and large??”

“goSH jeonGIN you’re so smART!!!! ily!!! what cAN’T you do???”

jisung’s overdramatic as hell but he means well

and it’s always funny when jeongin teams up with felix (still a pretty rare occassion) to prank jisung

one day jeongin had a test after school so he couldn’t come by

and ofc he let chan know this in advance but he and felix decided not to tell jisung

jisung was waiting around for jeongin to come and he literally almost started crying when felix told him an hour later that jeongin wasn’t gonna come

“,,m,y bab y ? jeonginnie??? wh at do u me an,, he won’t com,e??? felix you a s s don’t l i e to m,e,, :((((”

they even got minho to record the whole thing not for free ofc, and minho’s services are n o t cheap, but it was totally worth it

felix screenshot jisung’s crying face and it’s now the display picture of their glow gang group chat

which btw never shuts up bc: during the day (and work hours) felix, jisung and jeongin will be spamming it, during the evening minho will complain abt all the uni work he’s got to do, after dinner time the youngsters are back on it sending memes until like 2am, and then by 4am chan finally gets on and complains abt the boys killing his storage with their dumb memes & he gives any updates abt the next day’s schedule if need be

it’s a great system, hella wild and random, but jeongin loves it nonetheless

now for the part where u, dear reader, come in!!

it’s just an ordinary day, a bit quieter than usual but jeongin’s not complaining bc it gives him time to finish off some of his hw while he’s at the till

he looks up when the door chime rings and

(°ロ°) ! 

he’s vvv obviously staring at u as u walk in, his pen drops on the counter and his mouth is :0

damn yn you’ve broken jeongin

but does he care???

yes

is he stopping?????

also yes but you’ve already seen his dumbstruck face and he realises he was caught just staring at u when u walk up to him with a shy smile on your face

he doesn’t know what’s come over him

and he doesn’t mean to be some typical teenage boi straight out of a high school drama

but u just look so pretty he couldn’t help but?? go heart eyes??

he’s trying not to lose his cool when u finally reach the counter

“hi!” he grins, “welcome to cafe glow, what can i get for you?”

you order your drink and watch as jeongin types away at the computer

he’s rlly hoping the screen blocks his blush bc he’s still (´♡‿♡`)’ing and he’s pretty sure he can feel his blush at this point

“is there anything else i can get you?”

your number

he finds your thinking face so cute!! the way u bite ur lip a little as your eyes glaze over the sweet treats they have on display

he d i e s when u look back up at him and ask, “anything you’d recommend?”

he keeps his cool as he says some of his fave desserts, and you choose the cheesecake

“alright! will you be eating in or is that to-glow go”

his heart swells when u laugh at his pun but he’s highkey dYinG inside bc he wants u to stay for just a little longer

he almost cries when u say you’re eating in bc !!! yes!!!!!! yay!!!!!!!!!! maybe he could try talking to you!!!!!

“sweet! take a seat anywhere, your food will be made shortly!”

when u go to pay for ur food he’s internally hating felix bc he swears all these mushy feelings he’s experiencing are bc felix made him watch back-to-back romance films

he’s taken money from a lot of customers but he’s never, n e v e r, wanted to just hold their hand and he’s honestly so close to just never letting go of yours rn but he mentally slaps himself

pull it together jeongin u dumbass

when u tell him to keep the change he’s just

s i g h can u get any more perfect

he yeets felix out of the way from the coffee machines and towards the till

“role change, i’m bored!”

“but chan banned me from the tills, he’s gonna kill me!”

“i’ll get jisung on you”

“uGHhgHGHghhhhh”

he’s halfway thru making ur drink when minho sliiiides next to him and slings an arm around his shoulders

“so, innie, who’s the cutie you’re serving?” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

from his short time working here he knows that minho is in love with any kind of gossip and there’s no point in lying to him

esp not with this massive blush on jeongin’s face that’S STILL thERe bc jeongin peeked over and saw you taking out textbooks which means you’re gonna stay here for lo n g er than he thought

and he’s got this huge grin on his face :D

and no one’s ever that happy making coffee

esp not when felix is right next to them singing along to the twice song playing in the cafe

god knows who put felix in charge of the cafe playlist

an y w ay

“does our baby innie have a,,, crushhh on a certain someone???”

“noooooookay maybe? idk i just met them!!”

“:0!!!! our baby’s iN LOVE!!!”

minho said that so loudly!!! jeongin peered over minho’s shoulder and saw that y o u had looked up at the exclamation and he let out a sheepish laugh to try and make the scene look normal

u just grinned at him and he almost swooned

minho’s shouting alerted jisung who deadass ran from the other side of the cafe

jisung, out of breath: wh-what do u mean,, in love,,,??? you’re too young for that ://

even chan popped out from the kitchen. “jeongin loves someone?? how cute, who is it- felix, what the hell are u doing there, didn’t i ban u from the tills??”

“blame loverboy!”

“gUYsss :((( let me wORk!!”

“u do u, innie, go get ‘em tiger!” minho said, smirking as he took a step back

the other boys stayed quiet as well, chan filling up the front display with the baked goods he freshly made

jeongin quietly got to finishing off ur drink and grabbed a cheesecake slice to carry over to you

“h-hey,” he started, placing the plate and drink beside your textbook, “sorry it took so long,,,”

“that’s alright,” you smiled and all his worries literally washed away, “was everything okay back there?”

“yeah,” he rubbed the back of his neck, smiling shyly, “minho’s just easily excited and nosy, a terrible combination really”

u laughed at that and he grinned, his nerves easing away

“u guys seem really close,” when he saw u quickly look over to the counters he turned as well, just in time to see all four of them rush to try and act natural (altho jisung just dropped to the ground so he’s really a lost cause)

“they’re really crazy, but they do mean well,” he grinned, “except felix, avoid him at all costs”

“i’ll keep that in mind,” you chuckled when jeongin pointed out who felix was and felix just glared back at him, as tho he knew jeongin was talking shit abt him

“well,” he started, realising he should go bc a big group of customers had just entered, “i’ll leave u to it, i hope u enjoy ur food. let me know if u need anything else!”

he headed back to the counter, a HUGE grin on his face, he’s so glad his back is to u bc he’d be so embarassed if u saw

it’s bad enough minho saw and is non-stop teasing him abt it now

throughout his shift minho was just taunting him, cooing “innie’s in love~”

as he was dealing with other customers and running around the cafe, he’d make quick eye contact with u and each time he did, u let out the softest smiles, he’s pretty sure he’s never smiled this much

abt an hour later when the rush had died down, jeongin looked over to see that!!! u were still there!!!!!

he fixed up a quick mango smoothie, smth he always found super refreshing, and headed over to your table

“h-hey?” he tapped your shoulder when he noticed u had your headphones in

“oh, hey! i, uh, i didn’t order this?”

“yeah, it’s,, it’s on the house, thought you might need a pick-me-up, you’ve been working rly hard”

“ahh thank you!!!” u grinned at him so cutely, “would u like to sit down?”

he nodded too enthusiastically but he hopes u didn’t pick up on that ((u did)) as he sat down opposite you

for the next 30 mins? hour?? neither of u know

u guys just talked

he’s thanking god that there was no rush in customers bc he enjoyed spending time just talking to u

the conversation seemed to flow so?? naturally???

he found out ur name and that u go to a nearby school sadly not the same one as him

and u were taking the scenic route home instead of ur normal walking path or using the bus which is why he’d never seen u before

he’s so glad that fate brought u here today tho!!!! eternally grateful that u made that wise choice!!!

when ur phone buzzed with a message from ur family he finally realised that it was getting late

he watched almost in tears as u packed ur stuff up, thanking him for the drinks and snacks that he definitely didn’t steal from felix’s hidden stash

he went back to the counter, stars in his eyes as he leaned against the counter, opposite minho who was chilling by the till

“so, how’d it go? did u get their number??”

jeongin: (❤ω❤) 

jeongin, 0.02 secs later: ヽ(°〇°)ﾉ

felix, jumping in: “pls don’t tell me u spent all that time,,,,, and u didn’t get their number-”

minho: “loverboi was too busy making moves, eh?”

jeongin’s mood instantly dropped and he was so close to just headbutting the counter then and there

what if u never come back????

what if u came back when he wasn’t there?????

what if you’re on ur way here but then u see another cafe and u go there instead and fall in love with a barista there???????

jeongin’s 2 seconds away from pouting for all eternity when chan comes over and pats him on the back, “i’m sure they’ll come back!”

jeongin’s praying the old man’s right

and he is!!!!!!! cliche ik

u didn’t come back the next day which broke jeongin’s heart and he was honestly so close to losing all hope bc he’s incredibly dramatic like that

but u come back the day after!!!

jeongin’s wiping down a table when u enter and u spot him instantly and wave

he waves back but the cloth he’s holding slips from his hand onto the ground

and he rushes to pick it up but hits his head on the table when he tries standing up again

and he’s in so much pain but he just nervously laughs it away esp when he sees ur half worried, half trying-not-to-laugh-aloud face

when he sees u walking to him -- not the counter -- he’s counting to 100 in 3 seconds to try and calm himself down to not look like even more of a fool

“is the table okay?”

“yeah, i’m alri- hey, rude!” he pouts, faking a sniffle and rubbing his head

“i’m kidding, jeongin” (he had to bite his lip to not squEAL when u said his name) “are you okay? that looked painful :((”

“i’ll live,” he fake sobbed, rubbing away imaginary tears with the cloth in his hand before he realised what he’d just done and dropped it on the table in disgust (he highkey dieddd when u laughed at him again) “ew, i’m sorry you had to see all this”

“it’s fine,” you grinned, scrunching ur nose when u saw the wet smears on his face, “but u got a lil smth there” u pointed to ur own cheek

jeongin wanted to CRY

he knows he’s a cute boi (he uses this to his advantage whenever he can)

but rn??

he knows he looks like the epitome of a grade A DumbassTM

he just let out the longest s i g h

“i’ll be right back!”

he rushed off to the back and sorted himself out (and quickly iced his head)

he came back out to see u sitting down at the same table as last time

as soon as he came thru the doors u looked up and held out thumb, an eyebrow raised

and he reciprocated the gesture, telling u he’s all okay now!

he found it so cute that u cared!!! his heart: on fire!!

felix walked right to him, pulling him along to the coffee machines as he told him ur order

“u owe me one now loverboi!”

jeongin prepped ur food and took it to u like last time

but this time u initiated the conversation

“felix isn’t all that bad, y’know?” you said, holding onto your hot drink as it warmed ur hands up

“for now,” jeongin started, “trust me, if u ever have the misfortune of seeing him act cute, you’ll regret ever saying that.”

your nose scrunched as you imagined that -- jeongin gasped when he saw and then prayed you didn’t see that -- before you let out the cutest laugh he’s ever heard, “yeah, i can’t imagine that looking nice”

you two talked for a bit more until jeongin had to get back to the counter and take orders

he popped up at your table when he could, offering felix’s sweets and a refill

“do you treat all your customers like this? free drinks isn’t good for business, y’know?”

he went bright red at your teasing bc “nope, you’re special!” -- his eyes went w i d e when he said that and, if it was possible, his cheeks went redder -- but god, was it worth it bc your eyes sparkled and your blooming blush was so pretty he was starstruck

he cleared his throat, let out the most nervous chuckle ever, put the lemonade on your table before diving behind the counter

he could practically hear minho’s smirk from all the way over here

great.

it took a little while longer for him to psych himself up to go over to you again after that disaster

but seeing you pack up your bag made him forget everything and run up to you

“hey, you’re done already?” he asked, pouting as you put your last book away

“yeah, i’ve gotta help make dinner soon,” you replied, fixing your bag over your shoulder, “thanks for the drink, it was great!”

“y-yeah, no problem!” you loved his drink!! score!!!! “come again soon, yeah?”

“definitely,” you winked -- you winked, god his heart was weak -- before waving and taking your leave

felix slid up next to him, throwing his arm around jeongin’s shoulders

“pls tell me you got their number this time”

shit.

the top gif is jeongin’s face right now

[juuheizou]

i may have went a bit overboard with choosing numbers. i just love those asks a lot. here they are: 4, 9, 13, 23, 28, 34, 36, 38, 47, 49, 51, 53, 63, 79, 83, 84, 97, 99

ash your overboard numbers are the best thing that ever happened to me dw about it tysm!!

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

i’ll drink it black/plain if i really want a caffeine fix and have nothing to put in it, but i have a big sweet tooth and i like it w sugar and/or flavored syrup, and milk is nice but not a requirement

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

yES. i love to sing. like really love it. not to be emo but music has always been therapy to me. i was in a choir too for abt 4 years, and did some talent shows/open mics, and would really love to be in a band or something someday. i sing and hum around my house all the time

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

when i got home from work and laid in my bed for almost an hour straight (i’m running on critically low spoons ok don’t judge me) peachie followed me into my room as he always does when i get home, and hopped up and sniffed/licked me as he always does when i get home, but this time he stepped up onto my torso and laid down on me and we cuddled for a long time and it was v nice  :)

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

listen to music and nap, maybe draw/write/do something creative if i have the spoons

28: sunrise or sunset?

sunset

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

i don’t really remember the stuffed animals i had when i was v young, but when i was 16 i found this cute little stuffed giraffe at a thrift store and just had to have it. it’s not called anything. i tried thinking of a name and all i ever call it is ‘my giraffe’ but its a big comfort object of mine and i keep it in my backpack in case i need something to self-soothe with. i love stuffed animals and highkey want more

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

idk probaby like... velvet acid christ or some weird edgy ebm band like that. bc i am just CHILLIN and idk what i’m doing but i still like knives and blood and stuff

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

the list would be so long if i listed all of them, so imma just pick one and rant abt it a little. it really cheeses me off when ppl question u on irrelevant, personal stuff that i don’t wanna share and they don’t need to know. idk like the guy that helped my roommate move knew me for a few minutes and was immediately asking what i did for work, how many hours do i work, am i going to school, am i planning on going to school, why am i not in school, and i’m like ‘none of ur beeswax stranger.’ stuff like that. maybe its just bc i’m a v private person irl and have always been the person ppl share things with while not knowing much abt me, so it just seems unnatural and honestly intrusive when ppl i’m not all that close to start asking me personal stuff that i don’t readily share, esp when they get all pissy that i don’t wanna tell a stranger, my landlord, my coworker, etc a bunch of stuff they don’t need to know.

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

fried onions in any kind of breading. they look so crispy and delicious, then u bite into them and onions.

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

love it!! usually i’ll download the mp3s bc i’m broke, but when i can get them, i love having an album to hold and i love the little notes and lyrics inside the case and it’s just great. i haven’t bought a cd in a long time though bc money. the last cd i burned though was that ‘caress of steel’ one that i was so excited about

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

person: my mom. song: idek the name of the song or what verses are from which songs, but she played and sang patty griffin all the time so whenever i hear one of the songs of hers that i would hear so many times growing up i think of my mom

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

all of them but heathers. beetlejuice was ok. didn’t like pulp fiction but i might have liked it better if my pretentious film bro brother didn’t talk it up so much. for all it’s flaws, though, i love rocky horror and have it on dvd so i can watch it as much as i want

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

ehh i like to be able to find what i want, but my bookshelf is a mess and so is my music library and i just... don’t do anything about it. not successfully anyway

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

irl not much cute stuff happens to me, but i thought it was v sweet when my homie @nipnaap drew me a suzuya for my birthday last year!!

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?

i like one-eyed doll’s album art a lot, both the drawn covers and the ones w photos. they just look super artsy and cool. sinister also has nice album art, which is not something i often say abt death metal bands, but its really well-drawn and the color schemes are cohesive and i like it. idk i like bands w kinda ugly album art lowkey, but those are the most consistent producers of album art i like.

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

i want tattoos all over my fricking body. i’m not gonna go into a tattoo shop and breathe my pathogens everywhere during a pandemic seeing as enough ppl in my area are already selfish enough to do that, but i hope to get my first one soon.

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

istp, libra, gryffindor

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

honestly i don’t have the foggiest idea lately. i’ve been kinda having a problem w any music really making me feel much. am i in a depressed spiral or do i need to listen to more music, who knows?

send me some cute asks!!

[peantbuttr]

meet  ASTRID NILSSEN,      the  twenty three  year old waitress who moved to dayton three months ago.  she’s known as  playful  &  selfish  in equal parts.  astrid  uses she/her pronouns & identifies as bisexual.

hello all !! i’m tea, and i’m in the discord chat if y’all wanna plot or talk !! astrid and i are excited to be here !! sorry this got a lil long. hopefully it’s okay kjgsfgs

i do have severe rape trigger, so while we’re all adults here, please warn me before mentioning and/or refrain from going into detail about plots involving these things so i can manage my shit, you know? you do you, but i also do me, and i just don’t have enough booze to field a panic attack today fgkdfgsg

otherwise pls hit me up and plot. i’m a shy person but if you want plots, i’ll bust my booty to get em for you : ‘)

                     * /  intro. 💋

name:   astrid nilssen

nicknames:  n/a, but if someone gave her one she’d fucking melt

age, bday:   23, june 7th

zodiac:   gemini 

sexuality:    bisexual, no preference

gender:  female, using she/her pronouns

character traits:  flighty, playful, aggressive, intelligent, creative, ambitious, spoiled, selfish

alignment: chaotic neutral, esfp, slytherin

                      * /  past. 💋

tw verbal abuse, age gap, abortion

born in europe from a loveless marriage between a well-bred british socialite and the young heir of an american corporate dynasty, astrid spent most of her life jumping between boarding schools and holidays foisted off on either set of grandparents

all this served to do was isolate her more: she couldn’t fit in with european girls, and she wasn’t familiar enough with america to fit in there either. the isolation grew.

her grandparents didn’t love her any more than her parents did – old money with old values, they ridiculed her for being not skinny enough, too skinny, not pretty enough, too girlish, too stupid, too smart – nothing she did was enough… nothing she did would ever be enough

their constant demanding and belittling left astrid bitter, tired and constantly trying to do better, so much so that it was exhausting, and she felt like she was tiptoeing over glass

she hardly ever saw her parents, let alone saw them within the same room as one another – and quickly she learned that the easiest way to get positive  attention was to demand it. she grew from acting out in class to shoplifting to getting high during the school days

each time she got a final warning from yet another school, her parents would show up, lavish her in gifts to bribe her into obeisance, and for once astrid would feel loved

it escalated and escalated, however, as astrid started pushing further and further in order to earn what she craved, the attention & validation from her family that drove her to just about every extreme she could think of

so it’s no wonder that astrid, a narcissistic little daredevil, fell in love with the first person that showed her the attention she craved. within six months she was devoted to her partner: a much older, and much more controlling person than she’d ever imagined herself with.

it lost its shine, however, when astrid found out she was pregnant just after turning twenty two. she panicked. she knew somewhere in her that she could not trust her partner to take care of her, and she knew that she could not be, and desperately didn’t want to be, a mother.

so she got an abortion. to hide it from her controlling parents, she bought herself expensive trinkets and sold them at pawn shops, and afterwards, nothing felt the same. 

it opened her eyes -- and, after withdrawing several thousand dollars from her trust fund, she disappeared and left home to find a future in dayton.

                     * /  present. 💋

of course her parents keep tabs on her: she sees familiar faces lurking outside her apartment almost daily. still, no one has harassed her yet, and at the moment that’s all she can hope for.

although starting fresh and without a constant family fortune to guide her, so far she’s found working to be mostly agreeable. she waits tables at a little dive club in dayton, using her girlish charm to wiggle tips out of even the most tight-fingered bastard

she’s still selfish and wild, difficult to control, and interested in little else but her next thrill. hell only accentuated her headstrong unruliness, and this is sure to be a problem for her.

muleheaded and relentless, when she gets her teeth in something and decides she likes it, it’s almost impossible to get her to let go.

still, one can earn a semblance of comfort and friendship with her, as much as any narcissist can offer; she’s endlessly loyal to those who earn it, and although her capacity for true effortless kindness has never been nurtured, she makes a needy, protective and attentive friend

                    * /  specific wanted plots. 💋

an old and familiar friend —  she leads an isolating life, though somehow has found a relic of her tumultuous past. this person knew her as a spoiled little rich girl, and knows her now adjusting to hard work and the realities of life as an average person -  open to any gender

a mentor —  rarely does astrid trust anyone with asking for advice and help in her life. still, she doesn’t know what she’s doing, and has been raised in a guilded cage: she has to open up to someone and ask what the fuck she’s supposed to do with her taxes. this person is the most trusted friend and ally she has, and the only person who has so far been allowed to see that she really is still just a scared little girl in need of attention -  open to any gender, though preferably a little older / more experienced in life than she is

                   * /  plot ideas. 💋

sexual

i’m open to literally anything .... the standard fwb, hookups & one night stands 

ppl who want a tiny, angry girl to boss them around idk

u need a wlw eightball? astrid is here to help

u need a third to spice things up with ur girl? astrid is here to help

someone she’s uhhh trading favors with cause she’s got Ambition and one of them is a lot of money of her own

romantic

hedonism is her jam so there’s only a few of these i’m putting down

although yooo imagine the drama if someone objectively better than her did catch her eye.... nice

unrequited crush  —  someone astrid caught feelings for and knows they don’t feel the same. she’s trying to work through it, but this person gives her butterflies, she can’t help it. highly undignified for her. wtf is this feeling, get it away from her -  /lays down reverse card  —  someone who wants some angst in the form of unrequited feelings for a tiny brat. unwise, but it happens

break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored  —  a friend to whom astrid played side-chick while they figured out shit with their girl... then made the mistake of getting attached. it’s going to end terribly, she knows, but why not enjoy it while it lasts?

platonic

other people who work in the service industry like a co-workers / boss (still deciding where she works, so if ur muse needs an employee hmu ok), people she’s met at a bar, people she’s known for years somehow, etc.

yin to yang ; someone who is calm and shy, matching astrid’s small, fight-me, wild child energy and balancing her out. astrid’s not sure what she should do with them, but also can’t stop bothering them

heart-to-heart friend ;  someone who sees through all of astrid bullshit, aggression and drama and sees that even through the dramatic haze of brattiness and selfishness , she’s genuinely fuckin... sad underneath it all. they don’t take her shit and coax honesty out of her

ex roommate ; someone whose couch she crashed on when she first arrived, before she got herself her own place. she probably didn’t really ask before deciding she was staying with them and tbh prob was annoying as hell. so it could be a fun connection

negative ; someone who hates her and has tried to fuck her shit up, someone she’s had a falling out with, someone she was Too Mean To, someone she plays mean pranks on, someone who annoys the shit out of her, oo even an ex could exist.... idk fuck me up fam

[domesticangel]

ok ok a 68 plymouth gtx for ris is perfection but what do u think the rest of the squadra has? i really wanna say one of them has a studebaker somehow but i just dont know (ignore it was a us based company i love them anyways shhhh)

god. this is the best ask i couldve ever gotten. buckle up. ha ha. bc cars. and also bc I’m not gonna shut the fuck up

but YEAH NO SAME i also chose to foolishly disregard that italians wouldnt likely drive american cars (or necessarily drive at all…america is mad obsessed with cars compared to a lot of other countries so sdkfhsdkj) bc its all fun and games so ik a lot of this would be unrealistic but I’m american so i really only know about american cars/cars that are popular in america dskjfsdkjf so sorry for America-Centrism On Main but if any italians or ppl w knowledge of italian cars wanna chime in w their own takes, by all means!!!

oh and this post also foolishly assumes la sqaudra has money. lets pretend for just this post they all actually got paid for their jobs

SO WITH THAT OUT OF THE WAY warning this is gonna make this post rly long but I’m gonna ad pics of the cars i think they’d all drive like. in case anyone reading wants to know what they look like but doesn’t wanna look em all up so I’m gonna throw this under a cut in case it gets crazy

ok i can 1000% see sorbet and gelato sharing a like studebaker speedster that they would take out cruising for special occasions….it would spend most of its time under a tarp locked in a garage bc if you touch that car without permission you WILL die by their loving intertwined hands. some couples have babies. some couples get dogs. sorbet and gelato got a studebaker speedster and treated it with almost as much love as they do each other. one might think their driving would match the “crazy” impression everyone has of them but honestly? they prefer to take it slow and cruise so they have more time to enjoy each others company. on the job they’ll wreck a rental all to hell, but not their baby. the rest of squadra would low key fear for their lives on the rare occasion that sorbet and gelato offered them rides in their car bc the inside is spotless and they all knew if they left anything out of place or dirtier than they found it their time was up

i think they’d dig a color scheme something like this; still looks mob and sophisticated without losing the whimsicality u feel me

i really like a classic chevelle ss or ‘67 mustang gt500 for formaggio

(ignore how fuckin shiney these are bc make no mistake his would be scratched and worn all to hell)

in line w my headcanon that he’d be knowledgable about cars, i think he’d like supe them up and mod them for street racing or 1960s style drag racing. since we don’t get a lot of individual sqaudra backstory i sometimes think about him maybe losing his parents at a young age or having a bad home life as is typical of passione members and getting taken in by a local mechanic, and only as he got older realizing the shop had mafia ties which eventually paved the way for his induction etc but the knowledge and interest in cars always stuck with him. i think he’d probably drive the most recklessly out of all of squadra (rivaled only by ghiaccio ofc) bc he just loves to go fast as fuck and show off. he’s definitely a revs-the-engine-when-he-drives-by-someone-cute ass bitch

illuso would drive a ‘71 dodge demon, and honestly only because he liked the name and how it looked

it would honestly drive formaggio insane that illuso would ONLY use this car to get around as opposed to flying down the countryside or doing burnouts in a field. illuso doesn’t know much about cars and he doesn’t care to learn either; if it looks good and the engine turns he’s happy. formaggio would BEG him to race him or let him take it for a spin, but illuso would be adamant in turning him down every time. he has no desire to take risks and tear up a perfectly good car, but if he feels especially generous he’ll let formaggio ride with him while formaggio excitedly rattles off specs illuso doesn’t understand in the slightest. he won’t readily admit to it but seeing formaggio that excited is really endearing and illuso would even end up learning something here and there from their time spent together

ghiaccio is anal enough about All Things Italian that he breaks my disclaimer and actually does drive an italian car. y'all already know what the fuck is going on

hell yeah ghiaccio drives a lambo. ‘71 lamborghini miura to be exact. and boy does he make this motherfucker screech and drift. as much as he seems to abuse the car he’s extremely uptight about upkeep and will take it in as often as needed for repairs. you can also bet your ass he’d berate any of his fellow squadra members that didn’t drive italian-made cars, asking them why they’d choose to drive that trash on wheels when their country is home to the best cars in the entire fucking world and they have their pick. being in the passenger seat with him at the wheel is terrifying, don’t get me wrong, but he’s actually a very skilled driver, like to the point that he probably couldve been a stunt car driver if he wanted. but whatever you do don’t show any adverse reactions to his hard turns or brakes bc he will take it as a personal insult to his skill as a driver and you will find that the louder his voice gets the heavier his foot gets on the gas so Good Fucking Luck. (also yes ik we already see ghiaccio driving a car in canon but its headcanon time and during headcanon time ghiaccio rocks the fucking lambo)

prosciutto would drive a big beautiful blue ‘65 thunderbird convertible

he would also be very particular about the upkeep of his car, but without any sort of personal touch; he hasn’t the time nor desire to keep up with the car himself so he just makes sure he takes it to a reputable shop to do it for him. it’s not his “baby” or an heirloom; its just a car. it runs and looks good as all fuck while doing it so thats all he really cares about tbh. that said, if anyone ever scratched or keyed or dented it they wouldn’t live long to regret bc as a wise man once said, you don’t fuck with a mans automobile. i mentioned this in the my squadra meme as well, but even though he smokes like a chimney, he NEVER smokes in his car. no smoking, eating, or drinking in the thunderbird. sealed packs of cigs in the console only and if the seals been broken it has to stay in your pocket. the upholstery is pristine and he prefers to keep it that way. he’s a very mild mannered driver and even often errs on the side of slow; he doesn’t really see the point in wasting gas by speeding or messing up the tires or alignment by showboating. he knows that he AND the car already look good enough to command bystanders’ attention so he doesn’t waste his time with any extra flashiness

ima keep it real with you chief: melone would drive a car you could fuck in the back of and thats about all there is to it, so look no further than the spacious ‘61 chrysler newport

he would somehow figure out a way to get an aux cord and a sound system in this old motherfucker and would listen to his music so loud it about rattled the doors off, much to any passengers’ chagrin. he’s almost worse to ride with than formaggio or ghiaccio because he texts and messes with the music the entire time he’s driving. like its almost impressive how often he manages to NOT have his hands on the wheel. he’s a master knee-driver. all that in mind the rest of squadra groans in unison when melone offers to drive and risotto, who doesn’t have time for a squabble, gives the ok and send them on their way bc they know they’re gonna have to deal with melone insisting that driver picks the music and white knuckling the handles the whole time. but regardless, if the chrysler’s rockin and the britney’s boppin, don’t come a-knockin

since i see pesci as the youngest i think he’d be the last to get a car, but the rest of squadra would surprise him by all pitching in and getting him a ‘69 buick sport wagon

it’d definitely be a fixer-upper (prosciutto insisted it’d be good for pesci to retroactively “earn” the car by learning how to take care of it, prompting the rest of squadra to point out prosciutto never even learned how to fix a car himself) but pesci would be out of his mind appreciative of it either way. after years of only ever riding in the back seat of someone else’s car he’d be so excited about finally having a car to call his own. formaggio would take him under his wing and show him everything he needed to do to make sure she stayed running in tip-top shape and they’d grow pretty close over it; formaggio would lose his damn mind the first time he’d convince pesci to do a burnout on his own. pesci would try his best to keep the car clean but he’d probably have a bad habit of leaving empty drink bottles in the floorboard or extra jackets in the back seat, but all in all he’d do a pretty good job taking care of the car and making the generous gift from his team worth it. most non-work related outings would have pesci chauffeuring, but he wouldn’t mind, bc seeing all his friends crammed into his car and having a good time would make him really happy

and last but not least risotto and his ‘68 plymouth gtx 🖤

perhaps surprisingly he wouldnt be excessively meticulous about upkeep; he definitely wouldnt do anything needlessly reckless to harm the car or neglectful of standard upkeep, but he would definitely see it as more of a personal part of him than a machine that needed to maintain perfection. he wouldn’t really sweat scratches or dents here and there; they’re bound to happen to a car that old and if he found the time he’d take it to get it buffed. like i said in the hc meme i think it would’ve belonged to his father (or any family member he was close to really) and it was passed onto him when he died so it’s kind of a sentimental thing for risotto. though not quite the same level as formaggio, he’s fairly good at making standard repairs on his own, and doesn’t mind spending a weekend or two up under the car fixing it up and making sure it runs smooth. the rest of squadra would each be surprised the first time they ever rode anywhere with him; the second the car started old classic rock or metal would blast through the speakers, with risotto mumbling a quick sorry and turning it down, but not all the way off. they would find out that their stoic leader prefers to drive with the windows down, one hand on the wheel, other out the window tapping to the beat of the music on the hood

aaaaaaaaand YEAH. i told you i wasn’t gonna shut the fuck up DSFHKJADHKSDJ LMAO SORRY I WENT TF OFF BUT YEAH THOSE ARE MY. SQUADRA CLASSIC CAR HCs