#i also highly recommend liking this post for reference's sake !!!!

[lethesbeastie]

Hi, I saw your post about practicing drawing fat people and I was wondering if you could compile like a list of resources or references?

It can be difficult to find resources for drawing the wide variety of forms fat bodies can occupy, so I've done my best to bring together some resources I've been able to prove have some degree of diversity in the references they offer!

My primary resource recommendation for drawing fat people is Morpho Anatomy For Artists: Fat And Skin Folds! It does a wonderful job breaking down where fat accumulates on the body, how it interacts with the familiar landmarks of human anatomy, and what sort of shapes it tends to form under the influence of gravity. It's a phenomenal reference and my top recommendation for anyone seeking to improve at drawing fat people!

When it comes to finding decent photo references for fat people, the pickings are frustratingly slim. Most sites that specialize in pose references either don't have fat models or have all their images behind paywalls. Of the resources I looked through, the best sources for pose references were Adorkastock and Line of Action.

@adorkastock actively seeks to provide an incredible profile of pose references with diverse body types, and as an added bonus you can access a lot of their images for free on their site/Tumblr or join their patreon for early access to images! Line of action is a site aimed towards practicing figure drawing, providing images and a timed function to challenge artists to sketch within a set time limit. I took the time to go through roughly 300+ images and was pleased to find that during my session around two-to-three out of every ten photos were fat models. The only caveats to this was the fact that most of the images were of the same individual, limiting the applications for studying the variants of fat bodies. Still, it's an amazing tool that has a free mode and allows you to filter the types of references you want based on age and level of nudity.

Beyond sites that specialize in art reference photography, there's also the ever popular Pinterest, which is the site where I typically seek references for my personal studies. Due to the nature of Pinterest's extensive collection, there's a vast variety of references for different fat body types that includes a lot more "everyday" people. The primary issue with Pinterest however is the rampant reposting and lack of proper credits for images, which can make things dicey depending on how you wish to use the references you find. For personal studies this isn't really an issue, but for any sort of professional or paid work is something to be aware of just for the sake of accountability.

* For those who are 18+, porn photography of real people also offers an incredible wealth of visual resources for fat bodies and how they interact with gravity/movement/etc. The variety of positions and angles offer many opportunities to study human anatomy, and it's a pretty well-known fact that drawing NSFW art can be an important learning experience for those struggling with drawing anatomy. In the end, it depends on your personal level of comfort with viewing/drawing explicit images, but it's not something you should completely overlook.

Last but not least, look at the work of artists you admire who draw fat people! While I typically recommend sticking to photo references for learning anatomy, studying artist's portrayals of fat people is also incredibly helpful for learning different tactics for simplifying and/or stylizing fat bodies to better fit ones own style. There are also plenty of artists who've crafted tutorials detailing their approach to drawing fat folks, so I highly recommend you check them out as well! I hope the resources I've linked here can help you in your studies, and feel free to drop another ask if you have any more questions! I'm planning on posting a tutorial on how I do studies for fat people soon, so that will be an additional resource for you once I've got it posted!

[cowboys-tshot]

A Beginner's Guide to Epic: The Musical

Are you new to Epic: The Musical and overwhelmed by four years worth of content to go through? This is for you! (Note that this is a work in progress post that will be added to in the future as new information and Sagas are released).

LAST UPDATED: 09/01/24

*There will be some spoilers in this! The Odyssey is thousands of years old, but Epic: The Musical is an adaptation, meaning things are different. I recommend listening to all the songs in Epic before reading this, as this guide is intended to clear up misunderstandings/confusing moments and provide context.

**All of the underlined bits are links to whatever it is I'm referring to, just in case I'm making no sense. I will try to include sources for everything, or at least indicate where I got certain information from if there's no link available.

General Info:

*This is basic information about Epic: The Musical as a whole. This includes where to find new information and content, BTS things, etc.

• First of all, here's a quick rundown by the creator himself. There'll be some overlap in terms of what I cover here.

• Epic: The Musical is created by Jorge Rivera-Herrans, often referred to as "Jay" or "Mr. Jalapeño" by his fans. This is who writes the songs, casts the characters, and voices Odysseus himself!

• Epic: The Musical was originally (pre-Ocean Saga) produced under Blair Russell Productions, but Jay has never been paid the royalties from the songs released under them (and they have yet to give back control of the Epic social media accounts), so Epic is now produced under Jay's own company, Winion Entertainment LLC. (source)

• Jay is most active on TikTok, YouTube, Instagram, and Twitter. All videos that he posts to these platforms are generally the same, so don't worry if you can't follow him on all of them. He talks about several Epic-related things, including release dates, BTS, animatics, details about the music/story, snippets of released and unreleased songs, and also plenty of funny videos. He is very active within the fanbase, and you're likely to find him (and other cast members) leaving comments on posts by fans!

• Here are Jay's other links, including the Epic: The Musical Discord server. In my experience, the Discord server and Tiktok are the best places to get information as quickly as possible.

• Epic is still in progress. As of the latest update to this guide (09/01/24), the Wisdom Saga has just been released last week, leaving only two more sagas before the end. The songs are all part of a concept album, and there is currently no stage adaptation.

• Jay takes many creative liberties with The Odyssey for the sake of this adaptation of the story. He made a video recently explicitly saying to NOT use Epic as a basis for your knowledge of The Odyssey, at least when it comes to academic settings. Many of the things that occur in Epic DO NOT occur in the original story, and some parts of the original story have been cut out. Here is a video where Jay explains the purpose of Epic as an adaption. (I won't be including a list of differences in this post, but I might make a separate one if anyone's interested.)

• Although Epic takes a lot of these creative liberties, there are several little easter eggs sprinkled in among the actual plot points from The Odyssey. (I'll go into these later.)

• Jay will usually do a recap video before each new saga, going over all the events of the previous sagas for any newcomers.

• When a new saga is released, Jay will hold a LIVE listen-through. I highly recommend being there for these events, because they include lots of cool and important things such as:

official animations, animatics, and artwork, all of which provide insights into character design and events within the songs

Jay's live reactions (his facial expressions and little dances/lip-syncs are delightful)

details about the events within the songs that aren't made clear within the music itself (like what a character is doing, what is happening around them, etc)

Jay's comments in the LIVE chat, which includes details/easter eggs, BTS stuff, jokes, headcanons, and LOTS of love and praise for the actors and fans!

• Seeing as there is no stage adaptation for Epic, a lot of the visual elements come from artists and animatics/animations. Jay actually works with several of these artists for official trailers, artwork, and animatics/animations! Some of these artists include: Ainhoa Velasco, @wolfythewitch, @gigizetz, @_mircsy_, @drawing_angie, @anniflamma, Scilla_nimation, el_crafts, samantha_artt, and Giulia Toneatto. These people are all incredibly talented and deserve all the love from the Epic fanbase!

Info About the Music:

*I am not musically adept at all, and this post is already very long, so I am not going to list much specific information—just general common themes and some examples of them. Most of this information has been confirmed by Jay, in videos that I've linked below.

• If you're having trouble understanding the lyrics and/or the meaning behind the lyrics, Genius lyrics has the entire album and is full of helpful notes about the context within the musical. A lot of lyrics get misheard, so even if you think you understand what's being sung, I'd recommend checking just in case lol.

• The Troy Saga and The Cyclops Saga have been rereleased under Winion Entertainment LLC! This includes new vocals, altered music, etc. These were released alongside The Thunder Saga, along with new cover art. It's preferred that you listen to these versions of the songs, and NOT the originals, because Jay only gets royalties from the current ones.

• Many characters have their own musical motif, or even multiple motifs. There are also other motifs that are more general, like the "Danger is Nearby" motif.

• Many important characters have their own instrument that plays an integral part to the songs they're in. You can typically tell which instrument accompanies each character by listening to what is most prominent in a song that focuses on that character. (ex. Hermes with harps and the lyre, Athena with the piano)

• If you hear a character's musical motif or associated instrument in a song they don't play an integral part in, that can mean a few things (listed below). With the more general motifs, they have their own separate meanings outside of the characters.

That character is present, even if they're not singing. (ex. Hermes in "Puppeteer," signifying that he's listening to Odysseus' speech, which is brought up at the beginning of "Wouldn't You Like")

That character is related to whatever event/conversation is occurring. (ex. the same musical motif in "Ruthlessness" and "Storm," signifying that Poseidon is the one that sent the crazy storm)

The kind of instrument being played can indicate the emotion or tone of a scene. This is scene primarily with Odysseus, where the use of a nylon or acoustic guitar indicates that he is not being ruthless (source).

• When background vocals are accompanying a mortal, there is always a physical, in-universe source for those voices (ex. Odysseus' crew as background vocals in most of his songs). When background vocals are accompanying a god or other powerful being, there does not have to be a physical source for those voices—gods can basically summon a choir of voices at will (ex. "Ruthlessness"). (video explanation)

• Background chanting specifically is a common element in Epic songs. Typically, this chanting consists of the names of characters present/focused on in the song (as seen [heard?] in "Survive," "Ruthlessness," and "King").

Unclear/Vague Moments Explained:

*Some of the plot points, characters, etc. in Epic can be confusing on the first or second listen. So, I'll clear up some of the common things people (including myself) didn't notice or understand at first.

• The deep voice at the end of "The Horse and the Infant" is Zeus, voiced by Luke Holt. Zeus shows Odysseus a vision of Astyanax, the infant son of Hector, and tells him to kill the child.

• Odysseus drops Astyanax from the walls of Troy at the end of "Just a Man." Many people didn't catch this until the callback in "Monster" at the end of Act 2.

• "Warrior of the Mind" is quite confusing to those that don't have context. It is a flashback to a younger Odysseus, when he first met Athena and took her as a mentor.

• Athena has an ability called "Quick-Thought," which lets her have telepathic conversations with someone within milliseconds by pulling their mind into another dimension.

• Polites dies at the end of "Survive." He is the voice saying "Captain...". (I didn't realize this for a good while when I first started listening to Epic.)

• The voice telling Odysseus to wake up in "Keep Your Friends Close" is Penelope, not Aeolus.

• The lil' guys in "Keep Your Friends Close" are called winions (they're also the Lotus Eaters in "Open Arms"). Jay describes them as "little wind creatures that dance when they get excited and then float away uncontrollably." They don't actually exist in The Odyssey, but they're pretty cute!

• At the end of "Ruthlessness," the line "remember me" is said by Poseidon, who's basically sending his voice through the ocean fog (since Odysseus is very, very far away from him now).

• In "Done For," the yelling you are hearing in the background is essentially a Pokemon/Yu-Gi-Oh battle between Circe's chimera and the monster Odysseus summons using the moly plant given to him by Hermes. There is an animatic by mircsy to serve as a visual aide, which I find very helpful!

• In "There Are Other Ways," Circe was holding a knife and planning to stab Odysseus as she tried to seduce him. When he pulls away and rejects her, she quickly hides the knife.

• In "The Underworld," shades (souls) are in a constant loop, repeating whatever they were thinking when they died. Tiresias is an exception to this rule, seemingly because of him being such a powerful prophet. (confirmed in "The Underworld Saga" LIVE listen-through)

• I feel like this is fairly clear, but for those that aren't familiar with The Odyssey, I'll say it anyways. (Spoilers? I guess?) The prophecy in "No Longer You" is SUPER heavy on the foreshadowing. I won't go into it here, since many people already have, but let's just say the Greeks were big on self-fulfilling prophecies.

• As mentioned previously, background chanting is a big thing in Epic. In "No Longer You," the background chanting also serves as a prophecy detailing the future events of Odysseus's journey. Currently, only part of these lyrics have been confirmed by Jay: "SIREN SONG - SCYLLA THROAT - MUTINY - LIGHTNING BOLT." This leaves two lines that are not confirmed.

• In "Mutiny," after Odysseus is stabbed, he is tied up and knocked out before the crew sails to the nearest island. Right before he says to get to the boat and row away, he manages to untie himself.

Fun Facts/Easter Eggs:

• Circe is voiced by Jay's girlfriend, Talya Sindel.

• When Poseidon kills off most of Odysseus' crew in "Ruthlessness," he says that there are only 43 men left. But in "The Underworld," the souls of his crew say that 558 men died under his command. Considering Odysseus started off with 600 men ("Full Speed Ahead"), this math doesn't add up. This is because in The Odyssey, when Odysseus and his men party with Circe for a year, a man in his crew named Elpenor woke up drunk on Circe's roof and proceeded to walk off the roof and die from the fall. He actually has a cut song.

• Jay messed up the amount of years in "There Are Other Ways." It had not been 12 years, but 10. This little screw-up is referenced in "Different Beast."

• Odysseus' mother is voiced by Jay's actual mother.

• If you see people commenting "rawr rawr rawr" or "🦖" on Jay's videos, they're referencing his April Fool's prank this year. He made a video saying he'd completely changed the Act 2 closing song, "Monster," and proceeded to play a happy-go-lucky sounding song going "I am the monster, rawr rawr rawr."

• In every single saga, Odysseus says "what." in an absolutely bamboozled manner (or "huh" in The Troy Saga, and he does it twice in The Ocean Saga). It happens in "Open Arms," "Polyphemus," "Keep Your Friends Close," "Puppeteer," and "No Longer You." Occasionally, this "what" will be said by a different character (Poseidon in "Ruthlessness," the siren in "Different Beast")

• Perimedes (another man in Odysseus' crew, who lives all the way until "Thunder Bringer") and Elpenor were best friends.

[llyfrenfys]

On Cadi as the Welsh equivalent of Queer

(image: screenshot of the entry for Cadi in Geiriadur Prifysgol Cymru)

Some of you may already know this, but for those who don't, Cadi is a Welsh word which is analogous to the word Queer in English. I say analogous, since their meanings aren't quite a 1:1 match. But for shorthand, Welsh equivalent of Queer sums 90% of it up.

It has been suggested tentatively by some to use Cadi as the Welsh translation of Queer. I'm going to explore arguments for and against, but ultimately the choice to use/not use Cadi as a 1:1 with Queer is entirely up to you. Warning that this post is quite long, but I do hope you'll stick with it- please let me know what you think in the notes!

Without further ado, let's get into it:

Definition of Cadi:

Cadi is a term which has existed in Welsh since the 17th Century (roughly) and generally refers to effeminacy in men (real or perceived). Over time, the meaning of the term has expanded to refer to other (Queer) things as well. But the term itself largely has been applied to Queer men and queer masculinities through time.

The term itself derives from the girl's name Catrin and you will come across women who call themselves Cadi as a shortening of their name (like Liz from Elizabeth and so on). In this way, there is a strong point of comparison to be had with the English queer pejorative Nancy, which also derives from a girl's name.

Can Cadi be considered the Welsh equivalent of Queer?

So now to the real meat of the post. Can Cadi be considered the Welsh equivalent of Queer? The answer to that is, unsurprisingly, complicated.

As described above, Cadi is a term which has had strong associations with male effeminacy (real or perceived) and has close parallels to the English term Nancy, which is also nearly exclusively applied to Queer men and masculinities. What this presents is a quandary and I'll explain what I mean by that. But first, we need to outline the history of LGBTQIA+ terminology in general (in the West).

LGBTQIA+ Terminology and the inclination towards cis gay language:

This is a huge huge topic which I cannot possibly do justice to here alone, so I'd highly recommend reading up on these topics when you have time, but for the sake of brevity, here is a tldr on the history of LGBTQIA+ terminology (slightly UK-centric but similar events also happened in the US and Canada, as well as other parts of Europe).

Campaign for Homosexual Equality (CHE) is a British Lesbian and Gay rights organisation founded in the 1960s, during a time of great social and political change. The organisation's membership grew and grew well into the 70s before declining in the 80s. It was during this time that some lesbian members of the organisation left citing erasure of lesbian issues and misogyny in the movement. CHE and similar gay and lesbian rights movements in this period had been inclined to centre gay men's issues in their activism, which understandably led to many lesbians feeling alienated. Some lesbians left in the late 70s and early 80s and began to form their own advocacy groups. This indirectly fed into a wider feminist upheaval at the time and led to the rise of lesbian feminism, which aimed to centre lesbian issues within feminism, but unfortunately (for complex historical reasons) did then contribute to the proliferation of rad\ical femi\nism within the Queer community, which then unfortunately contributed to the rise of tra\ns exclu\sionary rad\ical fem\inism. Regardless of the unfortunate rise of transphobia within the lesbian feminist movement, the original catalyst for the formation of these groups was a sense of alienation from the rest of the Queer community because gay men's issues had been prioritised over lesbian issues, when both could have been tackled together, with each other. This alienation was echoed in the names of organisations and events- many early homosexual rights groups only had homosexual or gay in their group names. It took many years before advocacy groups started adding 'and lesbian' to their names and events.

(For further reading, I would suggest watching this video by Verilybitchie about the history of lesbian erasure in homosexual advocacy and how that led to (some) lesbian groups excluding bi and trans people in the same way they were excluded by gay men)

What does that history mean for Cadi?:

Because of a history of lesbian (and by extension, women's) exclusion from homosexual advocacy groups, is Cadi the best term to use as a catch-all given its strong associations with men's expressions of Queerness? (namely, that as a pejorative it is largely aimed at femininity in men and subsequent assumed homosexuality). It is important to consider if using Cadi as an equivalent of Queer would centre a (typically cis) gay experience/expression of Queerness and if that would alienate other members of the LGBTQIA+ community.

However, a counterpoint to this would be that there are variations of the term Cadi which do include other experiences of Queerness:

Cadi ffan (similar to just 'Cadi')- typically used to describe femininity in men and boys [N. Wales]

Cadi genod/ Cadi merched (similar to above) - effeminate man/boy [N. Wales]

Cadi bechgyn - Romping girl, tomboy [N. Wales]

Cati fachgen - (similar to above)- Romping girl, tomboy [S. Wales]

Cadi Haf - Male maypole dancer dressed as a girl

They are, however, somewhat limited for use in reclamation and have to be qualified by another noun to indicate diversion from the original term's meaning.

But when talking about the term Cadi, we often speak in the abstract- without the context in which the term is used. So here are a few extracts from texts which use the term Cadi (or variants). Since this is a mostly spoken slang term, it doesn't turn up in print often, but there are a few examples to draw on.

Examples of Cadi in texts:

Page 164- Cwm Eithin by Hugh Evans (1931):

"DAWNSIO HAF Ceir darnodiad o'r ddefod hynafol dawnsio haf yn Y Gwyl- fedydd, 1823, tudal. 306, gan un a'i geilw ei hun “ Callestrwr,” fel yr arferid hi yn Callestr (Fflint, mae'n debyg). Ym mis Ebrill arferai o ddwsin i ugain o bobl ieuainc ymuno i baratoi ar gyfer y ddawns. Gwisgai'r dawnswyr eu crysau yn uchaf wedi eu haddurno ag ysnodennau a blodau. Cariai'r arweinydd fforch bren ar lun y llythyren Y. Gwnïid lliain o'r naill fraich i'r llall, ac addurnid y fforch ag amryw lestri arian, tebotiau, llwyau, cigweiniau, efc. Byddai gyda hwy grythor yn ei ddillad ei hun, “cadi” mewn gwisg merch, ac ynfytyn mewn gwisg ryfedd â phlu yn ei ben"

[emphasis mine]

This extract is the author's account of Dawnsio Haf- a Summer dance held on May Day and his investigations into it. At his time of writing (1931) the practice has died out, but later in this chapter he interviews an old woman from the Conwy Valley who participated in the dances as a child. Evans draws upon a source from 1823 for his description of Dawnsio Haf. In it, he mentions that 20 young dancers meet up for the dance wearing shirts decorated with ribbons and flowers. A leader carries a fork in the shape of the letter "Y"- between each point on the "Y" a cloth was strung with silverware dangling from it to make noise. With the 20 dancers would be a crwth-player (crythor), a Cadi in women's clothes and a fool with a feather on his cap and odd clothes.

This usage is quite archaic and refers to a folk dance- much like mumming or morris-dancing. There is however, a picture in the People's Collection Wales titled 'Cadi'r Big' taken by the prolific photographer John Tomas c. 1875, near Y Ro-wen:

Which is very interesting as Cadi'r Big has dried flowers and ribbons attached to their clothes, much like in the description in Cwm Eithin. This is very likely a picture of a "Cadi" from a Dawnsio Haf.

Page 4- Y Ddraig Binc Issue 4 (1994):

Y Ddraig Binc was a Welsh-language Queer magazine published by CYLCH, a gay and lesbian rights organisation based in Aberystwyth. The term Cadi-ffan is included in an article about the commercialisation of Queer identity in the magazine's fourth edition.

"...Nawr te, medd wrtho’i hun, be’ gymera’ i’r mis hwn, copi o GQ ynte Arena neu ydw i, efallai, yn teimlo’n ddigon ifanc a trendi am Sky? Ond aros funud, beth yw hyn? Dau gylchgrawn steil newydd a gwynt digamsyniol cadi-ffan arnyn nhw?

Ydy, mae’r hyn a oedd y tu hwnt i ddychymyg wedi digwydd. Mae grymoedd y farchnad rydd a chystadleuaeth wedi cyrraedd y byd cyhoeddi hoyw - rhaid bod Lêdi T wrth ei bodd. Nawr fe gaiff llanc hoyw ddewis o ddeunydd darllen sgleiniog, llawn erthyglau a hysbysebion yn arbennig ar ei gyfer ef a’i rywioldeb. Hwrê! Fedr hynny ddim bod yn beth drwg. Neu a fedr o?..."

[emphasis mine]

This humorous article (dealing with an important topic, mind) pokes fun at the arrival of Queer commercialisation. The article opens by explaining that there's a ruckus in the gay world (and not two old queens getting into fisticuffs)- but that this ruckus is taking place at WHSmith (UK stationery shop and newsagents)- apparent winner of this year's most vulgar uniform award. The author goes on to describe a hypothetical situation in which a gay man walks into a WHSmith to buy a magazine. He wonders whether to get a copy of GQ or Arena (men's style magazines- remember this was published in Section 28 Era so explicitly gay magazines were not common) or is he trendy enough to read Sky? (film and tv magazine). But wait- what's this? Two new style magazines with a whiff of Cadi-ffan about them? The author explains that yes, the unimaginable has happened. The forces of the free market and competition have reached the world of gay publishing.

Now a gay youth has the choice of glossy reading material, full of articles and advertisements especially for him and his sexuality. Hooray! That can't be a bad thing. Or can it? Writes the author. The article is very witty and I recommend a read (find a pdf copy here). But the usage of Cadi-ffan here is very much in a reclaimed sense. Though it must be noted that the story is told through a stereotypical cis gay lens.

Conclusions:

As I said at the start of this post, you are free to claim or not claim Cadi as you wish. However, as awareness of Welsh LGBTQIA+ terminology increases, I wanted to raise important questions and start a conversation about the words we have, what we want them to be and how they have been used against us. I hope in any case that this post has been interesting to you. If it has, please reblog this or add any comments/thoughts in the notes, tags or in my asks.

Beth yw eich barn chi? I'd love to hear other's thoughts on this and start a conversation about it! Diolch am ddarllen

[theharrowing]

White Lies

Yoongi is everything you could ask for. He is attractive, confident, and smart. And his partner Taehyung is as possessive as he is beautiful. Too bad a relationship would be a major conflict of interest.

You need to have them, at all costs.

🤍 Yoongi x Female Reader x Taehyung

🤍 word count: work in progress (currently 10.5k words) + images of social media posts & text conversations

🤍 college au, partial social media au with a lot of written story, strangers to lovers & established relationship, yandere, hurt/comfort, smut, fluff, angst, slash, poly, minor character injury & death, graphic violence, nsfw, 21+.

🤍 warnings: 🕊 dead dove 🕊. toxic relationships (dishonesty, jealousy, yandere behavior); ACAB includes our MC, sorry you found out this way; corrupt policing. more specific warnings coming soon, pending the release of each chapter.

🤍 part 2 of the Rose-Tinted Obsessions series

🤍 this is a sequel to Boy Blue! i highly recommend that you start at the beginning to fully understand the the dynamic & history between Yoongi & Taehyung. there will be a lot of references to Boy Blue; this fic will spoil the shit out of it. this includes some major character deaths!!! this MC/reader character is not the same MC/reader character from Boy Blue.

🤍 note: all detective work and cop jargon in this fic is either made up on the spot or comes from years of watching/listening to true crime media. i have no credentials in this field and i do not claim to know what i am talking about. for the sake of simplicity & also my sanity, all dialogue that is written and spoken is going to be in English. characters are from Korea and living/working in the US, and we can fill in the gaps between what language they are speaking in which context. also, although i try to keep the mc's physical description vague, i will refer to her as having curves and having hair that can be gripped onto. length and texture will be left vague. places mentioned are completely made up. i may be using actual city and neighborhood names to make it feel real, but every school, bar, etc. is fake and any similarities they have to real places is coincidence.

🤍 also note: this fic is going to be extremely contrived and dramatic, just like its predecessor was. we are not here for award winning story telling; think of it like a trashy daytime soap opera and a gore porn horror film had a baby. obviously, i do not condone the behaviors in this story; it is a work of fiction.

🤍 written parts beta read by @neoneunnajimin

🤍 check out the playlist!

🤍 posted nov. 2023 - present | read on ao3

INDEX

0: Introductions | 0 words + screencaps

1: Do not, under any circumstances, become emotionally attached to either of these men | 2.9k words + screencaps

— TaeGi POV 1: What the fuck is this??? | 0 words + screencaps

2: Sleep sweet, pretty | 7.4k words + screencaps

UPDATES ARE CURRENTLY PAUSED!!!

i have been struggling with mental health stuff, grief stuff, and writer's block, and so i am going to lessen how many fics i juggle at once. hopefully it won't be on hiatus for too long. 💜

tag list: @aidam9911 @andrea613 @bangtan-tee-86 @ffion451 @fluffybuns69 @here4kpopfics @icedtaericano @iloverubberduckiez-blog @kiki-zb @lovemeforeternity @mgthecat @moonleeai @mother2monsters @neoneunnajimin @oceansmerchild @unsureofwhathappens 🤍 by asking to join this tag list, you are agreeing that you are at least 18 or older and that you are comfortable engaging in dead dove content. please tell me at any time if you would like to be removed and i will be happy to pull you off.

White Lies copyright 2021-2023 theharrowing, all rights reserved. No translations or reposts are allowed!

[azurecrystalz]

A Guide to Reading Crazy:B Stories!!

A quick note: I won't be linking any stories for the sake of the fact that this is meant to be a guide not a directory. However, if there is something on this list you can't find anywhere and want translated, please don't hesitate to drop an ask and I'll consider it !! Last Updated: Launch Day (1-24-2023)

I'll be making edits to this frequently if any suggestions + new stories come up !! I also invite other unit producers to make their own story guides and I can maybe host a guide masterlist so that anyone can reference it!!

Things to Know Before Reading This Guide

This is going to be an ongoing post that will be updated frequently, so if there's any errors, questions, suggestions, concerns, etc drop an ask/dm on here/twitter !! For the time being, I'll leave Double Face sort of out of this until I compile information about them. Please do not repost this guide anywhere. You can link it in whatever you'd like and share it with your friends but don't repost it please and thanks.

Getting to Know Crazy:B

The Importance of the Main Story: A majority of Crazy:B’s content lies in the main story. I highly recommend, before reading any Crazy:B story, to read the main story first. The main story not only gives you an idea of who each character is, but it also gives you insight on how existing characters think of them and hints at multiple things that still need to be elaborated on in future events. Plus, most Crazy:B stories go back and reference “MDM”, which is like it’s own arc in the main story that has a huge impact on the characterization of Crazy:B (both individually and as a whole). It’s available on the English Enstars server, please try to read it if you get the chance. It’s not like a requirement to read it, but you’d be missing out on references and characterization if you don’t.

Rinne Idol Story 3: If for any reason you can’t read the main story, this is a good story to start. It’s a very basic, one-chapter story that includes all four members of Crazy:B and it introduces them and their dynamics on a semi-basic level. Nothing is explained here but the story brings up enough unexplained points that make you curious enough to learn more.

Reading the First Idol Story of Each Member: If you can't read the Rinne Idol Story since you haven't unlocked it or something, read the basic introduction idol stories. Every idol in the game has one and it gives you a feel for their personalities on a basic level. Crazy:B has the advantage of having theirs voiced too. So, if all else is no good, start there.

Specific Pair Dynamics:

The following explains what stories to read when looking for development between two specific characters:

Bold indicates major development, italics indicates semi-major development, and no edit indicates very brief but still important development

Rinne + Niki: Hot Limit, Sweets Hunter, A Cup's Worth By Yourself, Niki Idol Story 2

Rinne + HiMERU: Nightclub, The "Runrun" Calamity, Prerequisites for a Win

Rinne + Kohaku: Sudden Death, Honeybee

HiMERU + Niki: Ariadne, Lucky SCRAMBLE

HiMERU + Kohaku: Honeybee, Romantic? Date, HiMERU Idol Story 2

Stories that hint at Kaname: Obbligato, Past, Present, And..., Ariadne, Roaring Sea Marina, A Pursuit in Plain Sight, HiMERU Idol Story 2

Niki + Kohaku: Spider, Secret Service, Kohaku Idol Story 2

Rinne + Crazy:B as a whole: The Bee's Knees, A New Game making the Rounds

HiMERU + Crazy:B as a whole: Ariadne, Romantic? Date, Lucky SCRAMBLE

Kohaku + Crazy:B as a whole: Spider, Honeybee, A Spring Evening's Respite, Sakura Sakura

Niki + Crazy:B as a whole: Hot Limit

Specific Members:

The following explains what stories to read when looking for development of a specific character:

Bold indicates major development, italics indicates semi-major development, non-edited indicates very brief but still important development. It is not recommended to read the ones marked with ** immediately.

Rinne: Main Story, Nightclub, AOSOBI

HiMERU: Obbligato**, Ariadne, Past, Present, And..., HiMERU Idol Story 3

Niki: Hot Limit

Kohaku: Sudden Death**, Spider, Honeybee

Fun Stories

Not everyone wants to read 42 chapters of a Reminiscence story, or sometimes you’re in the mood for something silly. The following is a list of lighter stories for each member that aren’t too heavy on the feels. These stories can either be from cards belonging to them or stories they appear in.

Rinne: AOSOBI

HiMERU: Lucky SCRAMBLE, The Principles of Sex Appeal

Niki: Sweet Sweet Hunger, Sweets Hunter, Sweets Box

Kohaku: Spider, Fruitful October, Storm Cloud FUMBLE, Lullaby

Lore Heavy Stories

The following explains the stories to read if you want full background closure on a specific member, meaning you want a story that explains a large part of their individual origins. These are more informational (and emotionally heavy) stories that need not only a good grasp on the member themselves to understand, but other characters in relationship to them as well.

Rinne: Select sections of Main Story

HiMERU: Obbligato

Niki: N/A

Kohaku: Sudden Death

Other Story Appearances

This is a list that contains idol stories that Crazy:B members make appearances in. The card and story don't belong to them but they still have dialogue in it.

Return Trip Service (Yuuta 3* Featuring Rinne)

The Principles of Sex Appeal (Jun 3* Featuring HiMERU)

Other Units Interacted With

2wink: Nightclub, A Spring Evening's Respite, Love Letter, FUSION Unit Collection 07 Live Story

Knights: Sudden Death

Most, if not all other units: Main Story

Stories Not Yet Sorted into the Guide

As far as my knowledge goes, the stories I haven't included featuring any of the four members are: Decadence, White Tiger, Nighthead (Shuffle) , Butlers (Shuffle) , A-Z (Shuffle) , Black Snow (Shuffle), Bankara, Chill Yellow, Easter (Shuffle)

Thanks for reading!! If there's anything missing from this that you'd like to suggest, please don't hesitate to ask!!

[solarishashernoseinabook]

Solaris reviews To Shape a Dragon's Breath, by Moniquill Blackgoose (2023)

*happy stimming*

Summary: Anequs of Masquapaug finds a dragon egg one day, the first her people have found for generations. When the egg hatches, the dragon chooses Anequs to be her companion. Anequs and the dragon, named Kasaqua, are then forced to attend a coloniser-run dragon school, facing prejudice and setbacks as they try to navigate a society that views Anequs as inherently lesser and dragons as merely a tool. Despite these problems, Anequs must do well - for the sake of her people, and the life of her dragon

Content: It was really good! Strong characters, strong worldbuilding, good lore - there's a lot to recommend in this book. Anequs is an active, determined protagonist, calling out racism, condescension, and revisionist history at every turn, and Kasaqua - a baby dragon throughout the course of the book - was a delight to read

Who I think would like it: Anyone interested in dragons, or looking for a good coming of age story

Things it does well: -copy/pastes the entire text of this 500 page book into a tumblr post- Okay, but seriously, this book handles prejudice and conflict with nuance and care, showing plainly how blatant I-hate-you-because-of-your-skin prejudice is merely one part of a larger problem. It has a canonically autistic character, portrayed with more care, accuracy, and attention to detail than I've ever seen in published fiction. The chapter titles were delightful - each was a short phrase describing the content of the chapter that, if you happened to read them all together, would give you a short summary of the novel. The book has a map, periodic table, and pronunciation guide right at the beginning, all of which were easy to follow

Things that could be improved: I had a bit of trouble following the chemistry in the book - the elements are given fantasy names, which fits the worldbuilding, but meant I had a bit of trouble following what was what. I've only got a high school understanding of chemistry, though, so I'm putting this down as a me problem instead of a problem with Blackgoose's writing

My review: This book was a breath of fresh air, especially compared to the last dragon book I reviewed. This was a book with emotional highs and lows, hard-earned happy endings, and a world that seems to leap off the page with how real it is. Definitely give it a try if dragon stories are your thing. Written by Seaconke Wampanoag author Moniquill Blackgoose, To Shape a Dragon's Breath is a masterfully-written dragonrider fantasy

Does this book have…: ✅= yes ❓= not sure ⭕= possibly/mixed ❌= no Romance? ✅ Anequs develops crushes, and her classmate Marta spends a lot of time discussing the importance of marriage to Anglish society and the need to make a good match Sex? ⭕ References are made to sex - mainly from a particular, rather bigoted character - but they're confined to a handful of scenes Racism? ✅ As mentioned above, Anequs must deal with a lot of racism from the colonisers, and it runs the gamut from outright, vile racism (openly calling her people savage or barely human) to ignorant condescension (charitably saying that Anequs's people are not terrible, they can be civilised if only they work at it!) Sexism? ✅ Anglish society is also highly sexist, another thing Anequs struggles to deal with. None of it is worse than you'd get in any other historical fantasy, though LGBTQIA-phobia? ✅ Anglish society is also homophobic, though it's more referenced rather than any characters actually facing violence for it Ableism? ✅ Sander, our autistic character, faces some ableism from his mother (forcing him to speak instead of letting him write, demanding he stop stimming, etc.), though this is countered by Anequs and Sander's sister fully supporting him Swearing? ❓ ⭕ I don't remember any, so if there was it was pretty minor Drug/Alcohol references? ✅ Characters drink and get mildly intoxicated a few times - mainly when celebrating holidays References to or actual violence or suicide? ✅ Yep. There's many references to war, genocide, brawling, executions, and so on. References to or actual animal death or cruelty? ✅ As per Anglish law, dragons who bind themselves to people considered "unsuitable" are put down. The fear of this happening to Kasaqua is one reason Anequs is so motivated to prove herself to the Anglish and succeed at school

Recommended: Yes

[otomeblcass]

Nu:Carnival Character Headcanons:

⚛》》》Favorite Wines《《《⚛

~Quick note~ My entire week has consisted of me making this list that no one ever asked for, or the probably ever thought about. For some further context, I work as a wine specialist at a giant liquor store, and I have way too much time on my hands where I read a lot about wine and sake. I've added images of one of my favorite wine references, Wine Folly, and highly recommend their website and books if you're curious about wine. Without further a do, if you don't mind a long post, I have combined some of my obsessions: Nu:Carnival and what wines I think suit each character.

Eiden:

Port, like all the way, he wants something sweet and Hella strong. Considered a fortified wine, put simply a wine that has been given additional alcohol, Port comes in many styles, but most are sweet. Eiden specifically loves the chocolate and nutty flavors that these wines have. Also this wine can be a hit or miss for people, so Eiden gets a great laugh out of seeing others' reactions to his favorite wine. Give this baby a bottle of Port and he can talk for hours on end about the crazy stories he’s collected after some wild nights with this wine.

Petite Sirah, Aster would want a wine that is very full in body (aka something that really coats the mouth, similar to blood) and powerful bold flavors, he’s an extremely experienced wine connoisseur, or “wine snob” as Morvay would say, but regardless Aster knows his wines. He loves showing off his personal cellar, explaining the areas they come from, and he especially enjoys bragging about the cost of the wines he’s collected. 

Aster:

It’s taken Morvay quite some time to get into wine. For many years he’s been firm in his statement that he doesn’t like wine like that shitty-little-vampire does. Most of the red wines Aster has made him try are far too bitter, and the white wines are sour as hell. He’s finally realized dessert styled wines exist, such as Muscat of Alexandria, and can be caught sometimes at night sipping this wine with some biscotti as a treat.

Morvay:

Yakumo at first glance comes across as someone who would not be into a “dry red wine” so it’s really interesting to think that his favorite wine would be a Malbec. There has been many occasions where he was served a much sweeter wine than he would personally like, but obviously it’s Yakumo, poor baby is too nervous to let someone know they got his order wrong. Much like Eiden’s favorite wine Port, Malbec has similar rich dark fruit flavors and a smooth chocolatey finish, these wines are a lot dryer in comparison, but not too bitter. It is a wonderful balance for the precious chef Yakumo. (This is one of my favorites too, let's go Yakumo bb)

Yakumo:

Vidal Blanc is not only a bougie sounding wine, but it goes exceptionally well with fresh fruits and desserts. This wine is an elegant off-dry style white wine that can be used to flaunt floral and fruity flavors without being too sweet or childish. As we know Edmond has his sweet tooth, so he would really enjoy the Ice wine style this grape can be used to make. Ice wines are as sweet as dessert wines can go and they take a lot of time and effort to make just a small amount. It’s a perfect pairing for our perfectionist and hardworking captain.

Edmond:

Every winemaking area has established a sparkling wine (I’m somewhat imagining what wines would correspond to the different Klein regions) Olivine is very curious to try anything new, so when traveling and discussing things with nobles he has grown very fond of a particular sparkling wine, Prosecco. He always has gravitated towards a gentle sweetness and slightly acidic flavors and this wine has a perfect balance. As per Eiden’s recommendation, Olivine has discovered this wine makes amazing cocktails such as mimosas, so every now and then Olivine enjoys making those for a relaxing brunch with the clan members. 

Olivine:

An interesting thing we've learned about Quincy during this current Rainy Season event is that his favorite foods include honey, jerky, and dried fish, very natural and raw focused foods that absolutely suit him. A unique wine that has a unique flavor profile of earthy fruits, herbs, and meat is one called Pinotage. Quincy, much like all our wood territory babes, is highly skilled in the winemaking trade. Pinotage is a wine that is very challenging to produce and Quincy has practically mastered it. So much so Quincy doesn’t really drink the wine, but prefers to keep it stored away. He’s positive that the right time will come to enjoy this wine, perhaps with a special individual, right when it’s aging duration has peaked. 

Quincy:

Umeshu or Japanese Plum wine, this is a tricky one because it technically is fermented ume fruit with the addition of distilled alcohol, aka this is a liqueur not a wine at all. Kuya is known for being a trickster though, so it’s a perfect match for him. Umeshu can be made at home, though it does take a lot of time to infuse, it makes the occasions when Kuya drinks this a real treat. The flavors of Umeshu are a mix of sweet and sour fruits like plums or apricots with a lingering alcohol burn. Kuya takes a lot of pride in homemade Umeshu and will lure others (Eiden) into drinking this delicious and sneakily strong beverage with him. (Another personal favorite of mine ♡)

Kuya:

Favorable of all things delicious and mostly edible, Garu and Karu are foodies willing to try anything at least once. They’re super new to trying alcoholic drinks and can’t really handle the smell and taste of something with a strong alcohol content. Concord is a classic beginner wine and it has a very distinguishable grape flavor, let’s think like a traditional grape juice or jelly. Depending on how it’s made, this wine can range from non-alcoholic all the way to higher percentages, Garu and Karu are big fans of having this sweet wine with snacks. Who knew that a wolf yokai would be obsessed with concord grape wine with a pb&j sandwich!

Garu & Karu:

He really enjoys the sweet and lightly sparkling version of this grape varietal, Moscato D’Asti. They have a full assortment of fruit aromas and flavors like peaches and honey, and they have a low ABV making them super easy to drink. Blade describes this wine as “Cute Juice” hence that’s his first response to describing the effervescence. He’s an even bigger fan of being able to use his e-droid abilities to analyze the many fruit flavors in this wine and he’s always excited to share the flavors whenever his darling is ready to try them. *wink wink*

Blade:

A great leader must also know great wines, and it seems super likely that Soleria would make bright red fruit focused wines with lots of herbs and spices. Sangiovese is an extremely versatile grape that can be blended and aged into numerous wine styles; it goes even better with savory and spiced foods. Dante is very intelligent when it comes to wine and is even more impressive when he guides others through a proper wine tasting. Even though Dante has a fierce way of showing it, deep down he really just wants others to appreciate wine the way he does.

Dante:

Rei really enjoys all of the genetic mutations of the Pinot Noir grape, like Pinot Gris or Pinot Blanc, coming from a scientific perspective. More often than not though, the complex red wine Pinot Noir is his favorite to consume, especially during his late night studies and experimentations. Depending on where this wine is grown the flavors can be very misconstrued, quite often it is thought to be a fruity and slightly sweet, but it takes people by surprise by being tart and dry. Rei really likes a lighter bodied red wine that has a slight bite of sassy acidity just like him. 

Rei:

Thank you for reading! I spent way too long thinking about and writing this. I'd love to know what others think and what your favorite wine is if you have one! I also just realized I never thought of wines for Rin or Huey, but I really am not super sure what I'd pick for them.

[samantha-and-her-chaotic-desires]

Due to your recent post:

🖊+ Lacrimosa Ambrose (what a woman <3)

P.S.: Have a nice day! :3

SDFGHJKLJHGFDFGHJKKJH I love you I love you I love you and you ALSO have a nice day!!! <333

HOOOOOOOO BOY I'M GONNA DUMP A L O T OF STUFF :D I'M GONNA GET LENGTHY BUT HHHHHHHH PLEASE BARE WITH ME

DISCLAIMER: Lackadaisy belongs to @lackadaisycats and it is a beautiful animation and web comic, I HIGHLY recommend.

Below The Surface is my 2023 Lackadaisy fic. It will be linked below <3

Lacrimosa Ambrose - The Siren:

FIRST IDEAS:

At first, I wanted to make a villain for Lackadaisy. I was doing this purely for the sake of my Murder Mystery fic Below the Surface (posted here and currently being worked on here!) and I wanted someone who was a REALLY big threat. And so, I created a new mafia-like group: The Rose Brigade. But who would be the leader? I wanted a powerful---and also a plus sized woman in official art I'm making!---who is no-nonsense and irredeemable.

I wanted to originally make her a Bombay cat, but as I looked through more cat options, I decided to settle on a Chartreux cat! They're so pretty!!! Below is an image I wanted to reference, yet alter at the same time.

Her voice claim is very much Lady Dimitrescu from Resident Evil. She has that badass, sultry tone to her that makes me fold over for this queen that can very much kill me.

She was originally going to be redeemed, but I decided "hell no she deserves a whole villain arc that DOESN'T give her a chance to turn good" and I am very much happy with that outcome.

I didn't know WHAT she would be job-wise? I originally wanted to make her an actor, though when I designed and wrote for Silas Tueuse (another Lacka-OC whom I love dearly), I wanted to mix things up, and wanted diversity. So Miss Jazz-Singing-Sensation was born! Her color palette and drawing her dress KILLED ME.

Choosing her name wise, I wanted to allude to Tracy's work, and allude to a villain. So when I was scrolling through the website, I noticed the Lacrimosa poem, and BOOM. Her name was chosen. Last name means 'immortal' in Greek, plus it's a play on the dish ambrosia. :)

FACTS/HEADCANONS:

She owns a jazz lounge, and is a famous jazz singer! The name is TBD, but she gets a LOT of traction there.

While she was from Boston, Massachusetts, she is Latin! She often refers to people as mei deliciae (translated to my darling), and one of her favorite foods is ceviche! It consists of either shrimp or fish, as well as lime, lemon, onion, chili pepper, and cilantro! From my understanding of it, you can dip chips into it and eat it like that. Sometimes you can even avocado in it, if that's your fancy! Below is a photo example.

She is a horrible driver. Horrible. Picture Cruella De Vil but drunk. Sooo yeah, 100x worse.

She has a daughter, but she's distant from her, and she rarely---if never---checks in on her.

She is incredibly narcissistic, but does NOT have Narcissistic Personality Disorder: she does have empathy, though it's hard to tell if she's being genuine or not.

Prefers suits over dresses, but will wear dresses for performances to keep up her professional image. For casual meetings, she wears a dark indigo and dark blue suit with a fedora and a rose pin on her jacket lapel. The outfit accentuates her curves nicely, and I will draw her more in a suit in the future <3

She has a Colt M1911 Revolver that her husband gifted her before he passed. She uses it constantly.

ROLE/PURPOSE/OTHER STUFF!:

She's the main antagonist, and she is the leader of the Rose Brigade. She tries to hide behind a sweet, motherly facade, but she is emotionally and physically abusive to certain people. She is also a bit overconfident in certain abilities.

She had ties with Atlas May, though so far I have yet to confirm or deny if she killed him. So with her relation to Atlas, she slithered her way into trying to manipulate Mordecai, seemingly present as a mother figure towards him while in St. Louis. Ivy gushes over Lacrimosa's singing skills and performances, so her meeting her in person, she's just all giggly. Nonetheless, Lacrimosa is a softie for praise, and can't help but feel slightly more appreciated.

Lacrimosa might be manipulative and a full blown awful person, but she has been taught common courtesy. She knows to be respectful, she believes everyone is equal, and will not discriminate against those who are in the LGBTQ community. However, this does NOT excuse her awful behavior. She is MEANT to be an awful person.

She will ALSO absolutely break anyone who tries to tamper with her. She CAN and WILL call you out on your bullshit.

Her song (if it were 2023) would be Medusa by Kaia Jette!

HHHHHH THIS WAS SO MUCH???? AND THAT'S NOT EVEN IT????? FGHJKHGFDXFGHJ I might add on later

[inkbee]

Summary of 1st half of The Paradigm of Catharism; of, the Historians Illusion by Mark Gregory Pegg

So not counting the introduction this is the first essay in Cathars in Question, a collection of essays between scholars debating the existence of Cathars. If you've been following me for a while or know me irl you've probably heard me reference this as 'cathargate.' I'm making it a little project to write out summaries to the essays and post them both for the sake of my own comprehension on the topic and also because a few ppl I've talked to about it have expressed interest in it. If anything in this post interests you I highly recommend reading the essays themselves, both because I'm not an expert and because Pegg's zingers are kind of funny ngl.

Pegg’s opening postulates that Catharism was exclusively an invention of “late 19th century scholars of religion and history.” It’s important to note that he isn’t claiming that Cathars were invented by medieval inquisition. He specifies that it is not “a construct of the persecuting society” (shouting out bestie R.I Moore) but rather a distinctly modern invention. Because, as Pegg understands it, Catharism is a modern invention, it makes sense that he would therefore first go into where he believes this invention originated. Pegg repeatedly calls back to this idea of a paradigm of Catharism, that is supported by two methodologies he identifies as both distinct and incompatible. In this first post we will discuss the first he identifies, that being the Intellectualist approach.

What is the Intellectualist approach, as Pegg defines it?

“It views the study of religion and heresy as an exercise in intellectual history…presumes that heresies have coherent theologies and doctrines combined and disseminated in canonical texts by heretical leaders”

Pegg says this approach was codified after 1870 via who else but the Germans doing “Religionsgeschichte”, a religious historical school that approaches the study of religion by comparing seemingly similar systems of belief. They have this idea called “world religions” or “universal religions”

WHAT ARE THE FEATURES OF A WORLD RELIGION?

elaborate clerical hierarchy

evangelical missionaries

fixed rituals

foundational sacred texts

clear distinction between secular and religious

World religions are intended to resemble Christianity, Pegg says. World religions include Hinduism, Confucianism, Buddhism, antique paganism, Gnosticism and Manichaeism.

The most important exponent of the ‘religious-historical school’ for medieval heresy was Herbert Grundmann, who wrote Religiose Bewegungen im Mittelalter (1935) He compares the beliefs of individual heretics, wandering preachers, early mendicants and specific religious women in the 12th and 13th centuries. He argues that the religious motivations (such as adopting an apostolic life) were similar, and that there was one general religious movement before 1200 that then fractured into heterodox and orthodox movements during the papacy of Innocent III (Papacy 1198-1216) Apparently this was barely noticed until after 1960. But here in the late 19th century, we have a different problem, and it's called Objektivität.

WHAT IS OBJEKTIVITAT? (according to Pegg)

Approaching history as a science

Approaches religion as a natural process rather than a historical one, meaning you can make scientific generalizations like in taxonomy (lumper problems are forever!)

Desire to study religion objectively without POV from particular religion of historian

This method is seen as distinct from the previous attempt at objectivity, namely, ‘pure historicism’, associated with Leopold von Ranke. Pegg says another characteristic tactic of the religious historical school was to figure out the origin of a particular belief was “finding the first person to think a thought or the first text to expound a belief.’

This is my own input but. You may be thinking “yeah, to find an origin of a belief you go to the first guy who said it” HOWEVER this is under the assumption that the origin of a given belief has a textual tradition, as opposed to an oral tradition. I get the sense Pegg is worried about lumpers again. It seems ‘logical’ to go back to the beginning of a belief in order to figure out the origin, but that is under the assumption that you have indeed found the beginning to a particular tradition, as opposed to a disparate belief/tradition that just so happens to resemble what you’re researching. It also means you’re assuming the religion/belief you’re studying is part of an intellectual history.

What’s next relevant; You’ve got this idea that Cathars are an eastern import. Grundmann argues that the Cathars shared some similarities with western apostolic groups when they initially entered Europe, but ultimately remained outsiders, even if their philosophy sometimes supported the ideas of 12th century heretics, even if it was sometimes shaped by Latin Christianity. According to Pegg this desire to find eastern influences within western religious trends is symptomatic of a particularly German form of Orientalism (Orientalistik) that is a hallmark of Religionsgeschichte, and he claims this Orientalism has been both ignored and carried over by “adherents of the paradigm” (meaning scholars who believe in Cathars as Christian dualists with eastern influences, the conventional narrative.)

Grundmann also says that Waldensianism was a lay Catholic reaction to Catharism, and that Waldensians were provoked more by Cathar heresiarchs than they were by concerns about the Catholic hierarchy. Pegg includes Peter Biller as an example of a contemporary scholar who shares this notion; “Peter Biller, for example, follows Grundmann in arguing that Catharism as an established eastern philosophy…must have existed before Waldensianism, otherwise the latter could not have dome into existence as a coherent western religious movement.” Pegg concludes this section, stating that for both Grundmann and any scholars who believe in the existence of the Cathar heresy, Catharism functions as a ‘world religion.’ Incidentally we’re going to be hearing from Peter Biller himself later in this book. I wonder if he will have any response to the religionsgeschichte allegations.

[normalhorse]

I have developed a new youtube strategy and if I don't write it down I'll forget but it's working nicely to find wholesome and delightful woodworking stuff I would never have otherwise found/looked at.

ah this is going to go long so executive summary: this is not really about my new youtube strategy but it is about youtube stuff I like and why. And a bit about my youtube strategy I guess. and how I have autism lmao.

For instance this guy:

makes very quietly-spoken, mostly shop footage and talking to camera (and a bit of inserted reference footage or pov shots, too) videos, making nice furniture out of nice hardwoods and self-made recycled skateboard plywood.

This all delivered with an affect my wife wife described as "radiating warmth and light" and a genuinely engaging and crucially understated enthusiasm. perfect blend of cali skater zen and also manual crafts zen.

Obligatory #youtube grammar notes: nothing egregious so far! One word really caught my attention (not enough for me to, like, remember what it was for sure - I think it was furthermore?), as being far enough away from exactly right as to be jarring also (Andrew if you ever read this I am trying very hard to write this in a way that doesn't seem, like, aggressively negative but if it does, [and this is unsolicited criticism so why wouldn't it] as a countermeasure: you're doing great! one and a half weird words in idk half an hour of footage is frankly incredible. and your videos are lovely. thanks!). The 'half' was one instance out of several uses of 'itself' also hit wrong but I can't explain why even to myself so who cares.

Anyway, it's exactly my shit except a lot of his thumbnails look like high energy sfx-heavy youtube maker stuff yelled at me by a bro (Sorry again Andrew once again you are doing great!) which I would never click on except for my grand strategy of:

subscribe early, subscribe often

just like follow links in videos when you watch a nice video and the presenter says 'inspired by a video from ...' - if they make the kind of videos you want, there's a better than average chance people that inspire them do too.

Yes, the second thing should have been blindingly obvious, but I have a medical condition and don't have to notice things.

Mostly it's that the links are now in the readmore of the description field, and I usually don't read those because they register in my brain as post signatures, so I maybe read the whole readmore once per channel.

(for the sake of internet epoch claiming the relevant signatures are on usenet)

That is, I expect the description to have the same content all the time after the obligatory first line modification (i.e. the actual video description text). There's usually a huge identical section of socmed links, affiliate links to products used in the video, affiliate links to endorsed products/channel sponsors generally.

So I didn't know that sometimes there are video/channel links in there, ok? Also there's a popup info panel but I think I adblocked it lmao.

Anyway. Subscribe early, subscribe often, though: Because windows just shuts itself the fuck down whenever it wants, and chrome no longer restores smashed windows by default (presumably for ultimately surveillance-enhancing reasons), and I have watch history turned off on youtube (yeah I know but also listen being paranoid about the internet is my actual job I am allowed to be a weirdo if I want), once I open a linked video in a new tab or whatever, if the video looks cool I subscribe immediately, because I won't watch it now and I'll lose the tab tomorrow.

Anyway this is probably exactly the usage model youtube would like me to have, but because I have watch history turned off I don't get youtube's """highly curated""" recommended bullshit, I only see <search results for niche interest query> and stuff recommended from videos I'm already subscribed to. So like sort of their model but much more actually useful to me.

cool strategy bro

but yeah the real question is hey do you know any more channels like this for carpentry/metalwork/basically any craft stuff? hit me with yr haberdashery yr leatherwork your embroidery - but not cooking for some reason. because they are extremely important for my little mental health right now cheers

[silenceforetold]

Why was Killmonger so relatable?

With the social climate being as it is, I feel the need to share a small analysis that I had written in 2018 regarding the Marvel superhero movie Black Panther, it’s villain Killmonger, and why it seemed that numerous Black Americans held sympathy and even relatability towards the character. I have slightly edited it for the sake of better clarification, but have not added anything additional to my original message.

If you have not seen Black Panther, I highly recommend the watch, and also would like to warn you that the post below contains mild plot spoilers.

As you read, I ask that you keep in mind the fundamental truth that it is possible to sympathize with and even agree with some points made by a villain while also simultaneously holding them accountable and objecting to their methods. By no means do I wish to glorify or romanticize Killmonger (nor was the intent of Marvel or Disney when they characterized him), but I would be remiss to deny the very real place in which the character was built from. The foundation in which Killmonger was based on is a very real issue within the United States that social justice and civil rights activists continue to diligently combat.

Please, do not use the character Killmonger and some people’s ability to sympathize with him as justification for anti-Blackness or to vilify important social movements like Black Lives Matter.

The thing you need to understand about people liking the character Erik “Killmonger” Stevens, despite the fact he’s the villain, is this: His character is relatable to a lot of Blacks in a lot of generations. Sadly, people getting shot is all too common in poorer Black enclaves (also commonly referred to as “hoods” or “ghettos”), and I think it’s not too far fetched to say that many Blacks in America have directly or indirectly known someone who’s been a victim to some type of violence in the hood. More importantly, all Blacks have been victims to systemic, systematic, and general racism in some way or another; not to mention the events of Ferguson and so many Blacks having been shot down by police. As such, the general situation in America with Blacks is highly tense and oppressive with Blacks still feeling shooed aside. Like Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, “a riot is the language of the unheard.” Dr. King did not agree with rioting, but he made sure to state that he would not condemn it because he comprehended why riots occurred in the first place. In comes Killmonger, a direct product of all that tension, frustration, and exasperation as well as of the inaction of others - their only justification for not reaching out to help being a blatant “well, it wasn’t affecting us, it’s not our fight”. Killmonger was faced with violence at a young age, and he continued to grow up in violence due to location (Oakland) as well as the color of his skin. At a certain point, people become numb to violence like it’s second nature. You can get so numb that everything except for your desire to survive, even your morals and integrity, get tossed out the window. Preservation becomes your only goal for life, and as such you’re willing to sacrifice absolutely everything for it. Killmonger’s story is close to home for a lot of Blacks because he symbolizes that hopelessness, bitterness, and defeated feeling that many Blacks are faced with. His intention was not from a place of evil, he wanted Blacks to be able to rise up like a phoenix from the ashes. However, his methods are what damned him and even more damning was the fact that he had been so numbed from violence that he became just like his own oppressors. Violence is a circle like that. Despite Killmonger being the villain, it is imperative to recognize that T’Challa, to some degrees, came to a place of agreeing with some of his message. He recognized the validity in Killmonger’s mission, which is what led to his internal conflict and to him questioning the tradition of Wakanda. It is a vital part of Black Panther that the characters and audience recognize exactly what Killmonger was, and what T’Challa ultimately realized: We create our own monsters. Think about that the next time you criticize events like Ferguson or the Black Lives Matter movement - in which it should be noted that those were not violent, but some violent individuals took advantage of and used the movement to claim legitimacy. That, however, is a conversation for another time. Think about that the next time you try to justify inaction and disinterest with ‘it doesn’t affect me’. “In the End, we will remember not the words of our Enemies, but the silence of our Friends.” - Martin Luther King, Jr.

In rereading my own analysis, I would like to revisit the complexity of villainy presented within Black Panther to point out that, while it is understood by viewers that Wakanda is the heroic and shining example, the film places both Wakanda (particularly the Wakandan nobles in power) and Killmonger in a grey area. Returning to the point within my original analysis, T’Challa recognized the harm of Wakanda’s and his father’s inaction with the problems that African and Black diaspora face. It is this realization that Killmonger has valid arguments and valid anger that leads into T’Challa’s understanding that Wakanda must undergo social and political change.

T’Challa actively expresses his disappointment in his father and in the Wakandan government, acknowledging the pain and suffering that his country contributed to with the decision to remain passive and “neutral”, at best, or toxically self-preserving, at worst.

All in all, I would go so far as to claim that Black Panther is an exceptional example of the complexity of humanity as well as serves an important reminder that sometimes villainy and heroism are not clear-cut black and white.

[asachuu]

Just thinking about this on the side here, but if anyone recalls the SKK/Rimlaine comparison thing I used for a while in my original Rimlaine essay to prove a point, an addition to it crossed my mind.

I’m aware it’s quite long, but I would very much recommend reading what I’m going to be referencing here for the sake of context, and also for all necessary disclaimers which apply to this post as well.

I’m not too sure if this is anything particularly worthwhile, though I feel that I would have put it in the essay itself if it were to be anyhow crucial for whatever reason, and it’s also not something I can prove with any kind of evidence since I’m merely speculating about certain matters, so please take it as such. Regardless, out of my own curiosity, I was thinking back on those two ships and why, even though I claim both are unhealthy/toxic (in my personal opinion, that is), I still seem to give the slightest bit of leeway to Soukoku and their fans as opposed to Rimlaine despite having no bias towards it or anyone who happens to like it, and while I did give some brief explanation in my essay which I will doubtlessly echo here as well, I think a part of it might have something to do with the way I see the majority of their fanbases portray the pairs.

Two disclaimers upfront— first, this is by no means going to be a “professional analysis” of anything, unlike the aforementioned essay, rather my own opinionated rant which you should take with a grain of salt, but nonetheless, it’s something which interested me. Second, keep in mind that when I refer to “the majority”, I do mean the majority for both cases from my own experience and all I’ve seen on various sites, which naturally does not mean every single person who happens to enjoy either of those ships— just enough people for me to see a pattern.

While I enjoy neither of those pairings and generally stay away from content of them unless I want to actually research and explore it, for lack of better terms, there is something very distinct slightly frustrating me about many posts in only one of these circles and not the other, even if I set all of my own character preferences aside, and my current theory is that perhaps there are a lot of canonical details and facts ignored or purposely omitted without the intention of creating any speculative alternate universes about what the story could have been if certain events didn’t happen or certain characters had different pasts, characteristics, etc., rather being treated as the unaltered, canonical ship itself, in Rimlaine spaces a lot more often than in Soukoku spaces. While there are specifics in which this could be argued about or ones where I’d actually take the opposite stance, I’m talking about a highly general perspective here, and what I mean by this is that what makes Soukoku unhealthy in my eyes is also its very essence in the eyes of many, many shippers I’ve come across— often times, it’s not so much about their complicated bond with each other and intrinsics one could spend a lot of time analyzing and weaving their own theories about, but the simple premise of an “enemies to lovers” ship whose main appeal is commonly their crassness towards each other, their fighting and bickering or all their harsh interactions we get to see on basic surface level. I might have hinted or briefly mentioned this in my essay as well, but I haven’t really made it a point of much attention to myself, so only now am I actually realizing this— most people cannot take away this aspect of the SKK dynamic in any content they make of them as it’s widely accepted and understood as the main core of it, the main driving point for both shippers who enjoy it in a more casual way and those who make great efforts to dive deep into every second of time the pair hold any relevance to each other. To erase it would be to practically create a whole different ship (which some do as well, of course, but I’m certainly not here to give my thoughts on such matters), and while it would be expected of me to claim that I see no reason as to why Rimlaine seems to not be treated this way as well, instead becoming either extremely sanitized or just outright unrecognizable, I sadly get the feeling I do, in a sense.

I believe that for many, the essence of Rimlaine has, just like in Soukoku’s case, also been widely accepted as a particular well-known trope— however, it only barely represents what it is in canon. I did mention some tropes in my essay too, but one thing I’ve noticed only as I started writing this is the differences between them individually and what exactly they speak of. To refer back to both the former paragraph and my original set of posts, the ones mentioned were essentially “enemies to lovers”, “hating everyone but one”, “running out of time” and “missed opportunities”, should I put them in very simple summaries, yet I can place these into certain broad categories— the first two would belong into one which describes behavior patterns between the characters, all while the others mainly describe events or situations, not necessarily anyone’s bonds or ways of communication, actions and so on, which could potentially explain why Rimlaine differs from Soukoku here.

For some, the core of those two will be something similar to the second mentioned trope, with the most important aspect being either matters to do with Paul’s hatred of the world and the complete opposite that his partner was, or even Arthur’s care for him which he held for no one else, but I often see a slight nuance related to this— in Rimlaine’s somewhat special case, both the former and the latter can be understood the exact same way as Soukoku’s behaviors are, this being an inherent part of each character respectively and something which creates their dynamic itself, yet this ship has an additional layer of the way their story arc ended in Stormbringer, which ties both of those points to that very ending and either of the last two mentioned tropes rather than a part of both Arthur and Paul’s personalities. In this manner, it doesn’t separate the pair and pay attention to them more as individuals, even in an extremely watered down sense like the basis of Soukoku does, but it ties them to their story together instead. Unlike with Dazai and Chuuya, where most people aren’t focused on leading towards either an “end” or specific story point which is also a key factor for defining a certain popular ship premise created by various occurrences and narratives, rather looking at how the two see each other or even how they speak towards each other, work together, trust or distrust each other and so on, in Arthur and Paul’s case, most are focusing precisely on Stormbringer’s epilogue and the aftermath of it, which was the event fully driving home two points for a lot of readers— one, Arthur cared enough to do anything, even sacrifice whatever remains of his life were left for his partner, and two, Paul finally realized his gratitude and regret towards the other, even though it was too late for it. Still, it seems to me that many aren’t looking at both them and these points of interest from the very start of their relationship or even their development and dark path onwards, rather from the end, as that’s precisely the moment where some people will suddenly find a sorrowful tale they would wish to explore, and that is the thing that becomes their defining feature— it has quite little, dare I say sometimes nothing to do with their personalities, how they affect each other, treat each other and whatnot, but everything to do with the events which transpired between them and culminated into something one could define in a mere four or two words, just as I did above.

This way, unlike in Soukoku’s case, you can take away the aspect which, for me, qualifies this ship as a toxic, if not outright abusive one, because it hasn’t been made the actual essence of it for a certain community, although I do have to point out that despite this, you can also take away the element which does serve as such, purely because by itself, it doesn’t necessarily define their hypothetical relationship in the case these events did not occur. While yes, the full context of that chapter certainly speaks volumes about how the characters felt about each other both post-SB’s epilogue and preceding it, for many who haven’t been focusing on them from the start or simply chose to overlook all else, it will “begin” precisely at this hopeful-yet-hopeless place from which the main foundations to one’s personal experience of the ship will be developed instead of letting those take roots in the clearly unhealthy baseline dynamic that continues without a light at the end of the tunnel for both novels the pair are featured in. Of course, the vast majority of people in the Rimlaine community are very well aware of the pair’s past, as how the characters come to know each other or develop a connection is often a crucial or at least somewhat meaningful part of any ship, this one included, yet all such matters of the past ultimately culminated in something, instead of being treated as ongoing and inherent to both Arthur and Paul respectively— an event that has the spotlight shined on it thanks to its tragedy. While the centre of Soukoku are mostly their constant friendly-yet-hateful interactions people quite literally flock to them for the sake of, the centre of Rimlaine is pretty much just the above— plain tragedy. Doomed by the narrative, doomed by circumstances, and what would happen if we took all of those away? What would we be left with? SKK would be left with absolutely none of its “charm”, while Rimlaine would likely be left with however much hope or potential people chose to saw in them.

Now, if any of this makes even a sliver of sense to anyone besides myself and has some actual truth to it, I can’t say I really blame anyone here. I still retain my position that a huge portion of why Rimlaine gained popularity as a ship is wilful or blissful ignorance, but if such a thing didn’t exist, I simply don’t believe it would gain much traction beyond a few people you’d find in every single corner of the internet, no matter how moral or not you find the given topic, as you can’t really make the core of this ship follow the same premise as Soukoku unless you seriously couldn’t care less. In terms of a pairing with two guys constantly arguing with each other, being rude on every occasion and beating the shit out of one another, hilariously enough, I have to say here that it’s mutual and reciprocated, and while by definition, it would absolutely count as an abusive relationship, you could say they both play an equal part in it and this aspect of them isn’t highlighted with any genuine real-life seriousness by BSD either, which is not Rimlaine’s case whatsoever. Everything important about that pair is in my essay, hence I won’t be rewriting it all here, but as a TL;DR just in case, that pairing rather explicitly features only one victim and only one abuser (not to mention it’s directly based on a real-world relationship which was precisely that), unlike SKK where if you actually wanted to, you could say each of them occupy both positions at once. You simply cannot make the focal point of your pairing not only abuse, but also power dynamics and extreme one-sidedness, plus a character who does explicitly suffer the aftermath of all such actions and never finds closure until their end, all of which are things that are in no way treated as an ongoing gag in the given media, purely because 99% of the time— and how I seriously wish it was all the time— if you do so, you’re most likely not actually shipping them and are already on my side, as you would have no reason to do so in the traditional definition of the word.

A part of me wants to put it very bluntly here and say the Soukoku shippers have at least owned it, which is why I don’t find it as worthwhile for myself to cover that ship head to toe as well— whether they’re aware of it or not, they fully display the aspect of their pair which some would find to be the attractive part and some to be entirely unhealthy instead, and it’s not as though the viewer has to crawl back into the source material to make up their mind for themselves on that front. As for a lot of Rimlaine content, it’s the exact opposite— had you never read Fifteen or Stormbringer and relied solely on a large portion of fan works, I’m willing to bet you’d go through quite a lot of assumptions before you’d actually get even the tiniest idea that it could perhaps resemble more of my own description, if at all. Granted, I also don’t really focus on Soukoku for one very obvious reason, that being my primary interests residing elsewhere, but if I were to do so, I’d be at least somewhat relieved that the main issues I personally have with the ship are common knowledge, not something I would have to point out to people and only then wait for a response, anticipating I could have easily just spoken about things I consider obvious and others find extremely niche or even entirely unknown about their own pairing of choice. Perhaps it’s not even that I “give leeway” to SKK as I said at the beginning, it’s just that my own thoughts about it don’t relate to things that get hidden away much too often, and thus I have at least some faith that the story writes itself on that end for people who see it, or would see it the same way as I do if exposed to it.

Anyhow, I have no particular conclusion to this. There is a chance I’ve made a lot of this much more complicated than it actually is in reality, and I’m not too certain whether any of it can really be backed up or denied. It’s just something that crossed my mind out of the blue.

[ladyimaginarium]

HERE’S AN AGE CHART of my muses, from youngest to oldest, ranging from six years old to before the creation of the earth itself. However, keep in mind that all the muses are placed due to a canon / default status, ie in Audaces Fortuna Juvat, Yuki Shiro is sixteen where he is around the time of participating in the Chunin Exams despite being four years older than Momoka, while Uchiha Momoka, in her default verse, is twenty eight years old, despite being four years younger than Shiro, and Shiro would be older than her at this time, and that timelines technically can make a character far older than other despite being the same age in their default canon ie Merida, as she was born pre-Roman Empire Britannia, would be far older, than say, Rapunzel, who was living in the late Medieval Period, who is the same age in her default canon.

AGES 6-10: Ivanka Glaziev-Abaddonato ( 6 ), Lilo Pelekai ( 7 ), Mariana Garcia ( 7 ), Christo Jr. Clark / CJ ( 8 ), Uchiha Akio ( 10 ).

AGES 11-14: Heather Hosannah ( 11 ), Fusa Arashi ( 11 ), Nina Arcangelo Nicci ( 12 ), Hitoshi Sora / Colt ( 13 ), Loretta Christiano Amodio ( 14 ), Tamamushi Takiko ( 14 ).

AGES 15-19: Arthur Woods ( 15 ), Lancelot Green ( 15 ), Ariel ( 16 ), Aurora ( 16 ), Belle ( 16 ), Cinderella ( 16 ), Merida ( 16 ), Rapunzel ( 16 ), Moana ( 16 ), Jasmine ( 17 ), Tiana ( 17 ), Matoaka/Pocahontas ( 17 ), Aaliyah Jasmine Allbright Cree ( 17 ), Ashara Dayne ( 16 ), Lyanna Stark ( 16 ), Myrcella Baratheon ( 16 ), Guinevre Weasley ( 16 ), Luna Lovegood ( 16 ), Goemon Ishimaru ( 16 ) Nezumi ( 16 ), Uchiha Chiyoko ( 16 ), Sigrid Ylva Viktoria / Sig ( 16 ), Homatsu Mizuto ( 16 ), Yuki Shiro ( 16 ), Uchiha Ryuunosuke ( 18 ), Uchiha Kimiko ( 18 ), Margaery Tyrell ( 17 ), Sansa Stark ( 17 ), Clementine Maria Jasmine Cree ( 18 ), Louis Leto Lacroix ( 18 ), Aasim Anand Acharya ( 19 ), James Reed Fairbanks ( 19 ), Terumi Akane ( 19 ), Minerva Stella Williams ( 19 ), James Dae Young ( 19 ), Emilio Adetokunbo Benedetto ( 19 ).

AGES 20-99: Haruno Sakura ( 20 ), Yamanaka Ino ( 20 ), Hyuga Hinata ( 20 ), Inuzuka Kiba ( 20 ),  Uchiha Takehiko ( 20 ), Elsa ( 21 ), Daenerys Targaryen ( 21 ), Asha Greyjoy ( 22 ), Arianne Martell ( 22 ), Sabaku no Gaara ( 22 ), Sabaku no Temari ( 24 ), Uchiha Haruka ( 24 ), Erica Abaddonato ( 24 ), Constance Raveau ( 25 ), Newton Artemis Fido Scamander ( 26 ), Delico Abaddonato ( 26 ), Jinhai Yang ( 26 ), Nicodemius “Cody” Balfour ( 26 ), Uchiha Aiko ( 26 ), Uchiha Momoka ( 28 ), Bellatrix Barcelona Belladonna / Beretta ( 28 ), Diego Montes ( 29 ), Hitoshi Masaru / Minimi ( 31 ), Mitarashi Anko ( 31 ), Terumi Mei ( 31 ), Hatake Kakashi ( 31 ) Theodoros “Theo” d’Angelo ( 31 ), Maverick Estelle Claire / Maverick ( 34 ), Akasuna no Sasori ( 35 ), Konan ( 35 ), Ava Adebowale ( 35 ), Asha Mandadapu ( 36 ) Christa Clark ( 36 ), Sirius Black ( 36 ), Nii Tora ( 36 ), Otenki B ( 37 ), Mei DeCaruso ( 38 ), Diana Cree ( 39 ), Edmund DeCaruso ( 40 ), Sarutobi Sasuke ( 44 ), “Ser” Regina “Gina” Paulklee ( 48 ), Sherissa Christiano Amodio ( 50 ).

AGES 100+: Uchiha Madara ( 105 ), Uzumaki Mito ( 106 ), Senju Toka ( 109 ), Alice Cullen ( 119 ), Jack Skellington ( 260 ), Visenya Targaryen ( 271 ).

Age 1000+: Melisandre ( somewhere near the beginning of the Valyrian Freehold when the Ghiscari Wars ended ) ; Kurama ( 10,000 years after Kaguya ascended to become the moon ).

BEFORE THE WORLD’S CREATION: Otsutsuki Kaguya ( light years beyond human understanding )

AGES UNDETERMINED: Experiment 626 / Stitch & Tinkerbell.

I hope this clarifies everything and with that said, if you have any questions regarding this, let me know!

[aro-comics]

Growth (Part 1)

Growth, 1/3 – And … oh my gosh. I can’t believe it took THIS LONG to finish this comic ;A; I feel like I say this every time, but y’all – I STARTED PANELLING THIS ALMOST A WHOLE YEAR AGO. Really. It’s been sitting on my plate for too long, and I’m so glad I can finally share it!

Where do I even begin with my thoughts? For starters, I wanted to say the examples chosen in slide 8 are mainly from larger pieces of media, because they have greater influence on our *general social consciousness*. I don’t necessarily recommend or approve of the source material! I also have more thoughts on these characters, and about amatonormativity in relation to character growth in general, but for the sake of keeping this caption short(er) I will do so on my stories and pin them to my profile for future reference 😂

AUTHOR'S NOTE: For the sake of accessibility (and my own health) I will be making a transcript of the stories in its simplest form, posted here.

If you have any examples you can think of too, please let me know either in the comments or via DM 🐸🐸

I wish I was joking about the events which inspired this comic, but this LITERALLY happened to me, and this wasn’t the only time I experienced some form of amatonormativity or direct arophobia growing up. You may not think things like this are a problem, but this idea of romantic relationships as a crucial part of emotional growth has real world implications. Aros get told that their orientation IS the root of all their problems, or IS THE PROBLEM ITSELF, a lot. And not only is this wrong (and queerphobic), it also causes people to overlook the real issues that we may be struggling with. This can prevent us from getting help we NEED, not to mention the fact that orientation isn’t something that needs to be fixed.

In my personal experience … I don’t want to get into the specifics of the situation described here (Because it genuinely was one of the worst times of my life, and I don’t like thinking about it) – but basically, the help I needed was definitely NOT to get a romantic partner. A lot of my behaviours were very clearly ones that indicated I should have been hospitalized, or at least sent to a highly trained medical professional for intervention. But I never received any care, even though my parents were to some degree aware of what the issue was … and it somewhat appalls me that this family friend would take one look at me and somehow decide the issue was anything less than a serious, medical situation.

I want to emphasize I know none of them did it on purpose, and to be fair, it wasn’t entirely clear what the specific issue was (to the family friend at least). But it does hurt to have so clearly shown signs of crisis, to have done a near 180 in personality and behaviour, and to have it brushed off or implied that this is caused by something fundamental to your orientation. It makes me feel so inherently wrong, and if I’m going to be even more brutally honest I think the amatonormative way I was raised is a big part of the reason why I still struggle with my self esteem as an aro today. Even now, I still get told that maybe my remaining problems and personal struggles will go away if I was willing to give dating a try.

It just makes me so tired.

But, the more I reflect on my orientation and am able to connect with aros and the community as a whole, it has been helping. I don’t think it will go away any time soon, but at least when the feeling (that my orientation is something that’s fundamentally wrong with me) comes up I can tell myself that it just isn’t true. That I know that being aro isn’t a curse, isn’t a flaw, isn’t something that should haunt me for the rest of my life, that it’s something natural and beautiful and that I adore about my community. And I should extend that same care to myself, too. It has been getting easier.

As always, I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences on this topic. Do you feel that others perception of your maturity and growth as a human being is influenced by amatonormativity?

Image Descriptions

Title Card: Cover Image. This Comic series is titled “Growth”. Celia, an east asian girl with wavy chin length hair, is illustrated wearing a cream crop top and yellow pants sitting amongst leaves and yellow flowers on a rocky surface. A watering can sits in the background.

Slide 1: Celia is seen standing from the side, with her arms crossed. She frowns. “When I was going through one of the worst times of my life, a family friend went out of his way to tell my parents that he noticed how unconfident I seemed.”

Slide 2: Scene turns to a memory, depicted as a sketch. The family friend is shown talking to Celia’s parents. “He told them not to worry though, because there was an easy solution. I just needed to find the right person, and start dating them.”

Slide 3: A speech bubble from the family friend illustrates this analogy. On the left is a flower pot with no plant, and a sad face above it. On the right is a blooming flower with hearts around it.

Celia’s note: I wish I was making this up. Blossom was LITERALLY the analogy used here

Slide 4: Back to Celia, who is speaking to the reader now: “It really, really hurt. I knew the reason why I wasn’t the best version of myself wasn’t because I hadn’t found love.”

Slide 5: She stares down at a yellow flower as she continues, “But unfortunately, I think thoughts, and unwarranted comments like these, stem from a deeper amatonormative view of the subject of growth”

Slide 6: “Countless stories which show the hero’s growth as pinned to their romantic arc.” Illustrated beneath is a stereotypical hero kneeling on the ground in front of his love interest. He holds a yellow flower as he says “I couldn’t have become the person I am today without you, your love showed me what’s worth trying for”.

Slide 7: “And on the more toxic side of things, those without romantic love or those who reject it end up as decrepit, cold, emotionally stunted, or sad.”

A few characters from popular, influential, or otherwise notable television shows are depicted here: Cruella de Vil from 101 Dalmations, Queen Chrysalis from My Little Pony (Generation 4), Dr. Berkowitz from One Day at a Time, Alan Harper from Two and a Half Men, and Rajesh Koothrappali from The Big Bang Theory. A note indicates to the reader to check the description.

As a disclaimer: The inclusion of these characters do not indicate the author’s recommendation or approval of the original source material – they are only meant to serve as examples of the point to be made.

Slide 8: Scene switches to Celia now watering a collection of ferns, mugworts, and other leafy plants in a greenhouse. She says “As an aro person, it’s tiring to hear the more toxic side of this narrative again and again. It feels like we’re being told we won’t grow, like others can.”

[tatertotthethot]

For your yandere requests, could I have a dragon hybrid Katsuki with an unhealthy fixation on his new mate (how he met the reader is up to you, be it through kidnapping, forcing himself on her or manipulation ext)

Pairings: dragon hybrid!Bakugou x fem!reader, ft. Dragon hybrid!Kirishima and Hawks.

Description: you get abducted by a dragon hybrid and must live in a cave with him, as his mate of choice.

Warnings/tags: THIS IS A SHORT SYNOPSIS TO A SERIES that will include yandere themes, HEAVY smut with noncon/dubcon elements, kidnapping & captivity, brief violence/gore, and hopefully enough fluff to make up for it all 🥰 (let me know if I miss anything major in the future)

| Synopsis | Part 1 |

18+, MINORS DNI!!!

(Requests are open btw)

It started as a rouge venture that Bakugo and Kirishima decided to take, wanting to break free from the tribal traditions.

The two males were born and raised within the same tribe that they, themselves, have helped withstand a notorious reputation for easily conquering any land in which they seek. They were easily the two best combative warriors amongst their tribe, and thrived on the sense of security that they were unstoppable.. until they outgrew their ignorance enough to see things for how they really were: actively participating in the senseless destruction that tribe-culture has come to be.

As Dragon hybrids of human decent are greedy and gluttonous creatures by default, there is no such thing as sharing a section of land with another tribe. Superiority complexes run deep in nearly every single one of them— and every group seems to think that the world belongs to them and only them, and will fight to their death before they form an alliance to peacefully co-exist amongst a region with another clan. This leads to battles that are more catastrophic than the active volcanoes they naturally flock to, and as a result, every piece of land that’s settled upon becomes more temporary, as it is only a matter of time before it becomes nothing but an obliterated wasteland, where more resources will be scorched in the act of territorial domination than used for the mere sake of survival. The two males know that eventually, there will be no more lands amongst the volcanic islands worthy of living, and once that happens, the rest of the world might be in for trouble.

That may take another century or so, but as for Kirishima and Bakugo— who are now at the fruitful age of 23– they simply have no interest in sticking around to help it progress. They don’t want to spend their entire lives laying waste to every corner of earth that they touch, and are fed up with never letting themselves get comfortable with a new location as it’s soon to be up rooted and stripped to nothing.

So, with the goal to broaden their horizons in search of permanency, they found that: with the exception of winter in higher altitudes, subtropical climates aren’t much different from the likes of home to them. They’re endothermic and omnivorous after all, and Mountainous regions with dormant volcanoes that haven’t been active in 10,000+ years are far more seclusive and thick with forestation, thriving with animal life and freshwater ecosystems that completely untouched by hybrids of their own kind. Not only that, but given that the females within their own species are against the innovations of their mini-revolution, they also found that Hybrids of human-descent can, in fact, mate and reproduce with those that are entirely human— without diluting the dragon’s primary gene in their offspring.

And so, after traveling halfway around the world and settling within a 50 mile of your village, it was easy for them to find two inhabitable caves of their own.. and took little to no time for Bakugo to run across you.. a lonesome little cottage girl who barely even knows that the likes of him and his kind even exists.

This is a story all about how your life got twisted upside down by an 8ft fire breathing dragon hybrid, who’s concept of love does not revolve around the key of your consent.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~

FOR THE TIME BEING, I AM ONLY POSTING FIC ON TUMBLR. If you come across it on ANY OTHER PLATFORMS PLEASE LET ME KNOW!

I’m so goddamn excited y’all :D

- BTW: although I’m sticking with the HC of Drakugo being 8ft tall, I highly recommend googling pictures of Kevin Hart standing next to Shaquille O'Neal and Yao Ming for a better reference to the size comparisons I’m aiming for lmfao. idc how tall you are, we are teeny fucking weeny compared to this big tiddie lizard boy

Part 1 coming vv soon 😌☝️

Comment if you wanna be added to a tag list!

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL

Sept 2021 Wk 5

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Don’t Say No Ep 9 (Line) - It’s my corny af hurt/comfort soap opera that I watch at 1.5x and skip all the sex scenes and Fiat crying, but I like it that way, so there. Yes I am one of those people who only eats the outside of the peanut M&Ms, why do you ask? Episode recaps here. 

Bite Me Ep 5 (Viu & Viki) - sometimes I feel like this show is skipping all the important bits, or having them occur off screen intentionally, like some ancient Greek play. Still, the depth of the feeling understood between the two leads is clearly transferred to us despite that. Are they dating? Sure seems that way. Without anything being actually said about it. It’s oddly magical. I talked a bit about the north/south divide and food as a love language with regards to kao soi in this post. 

7 Project Ep 5 The Breakup Zone (iQiYi & YouTube) - another het installment, so I skipped it. Nash. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Peach of Time Ep 10 fin - A Korean BL (maybe not BL tho) featuring Thai talent that really went beyond a lot of tropes into interesting territory and allegory in a way only Korea does. I hope we get more collabs like this, perhaps happier than this one next time? RECOMMENDED only if you are prepared for The Sad. Because it is quite sad.  

x Friend or Lover (YouTube) Ep 6 - still waiting on the final of this Taiwanese indie series.  

Love is Science? (BL sub plot on Viki) Ep 14 (aired ep 15) - Taiwanese drama finally got subbed yesterday, so those of us who are waiting seem to be on a week’s delay. The BL couple actually has the most interesting story arc and the most unusual character growth. I’m enjoying how unpredictable these two are. Honestly, they could have gotten their own series with this much story - and now I really want that for after the baby comes. I’m a little sad we didn’t get the coming out in the skate park sequence (LOOK I love coming out drama, especially with sporty friends, it’s a THING), but I also get why the writers are doing what they are with these boys. And the actors sure can handle it. Taiwan at it’s finest.  

Love Is the series (YouTube) Ep 5 - continues to be fine for a V-BL but not all that actually good. 

See You After Quarantine? (Viki) Ep 6, 7 - Taiwanese gameboys with Japanese talent stuck in, what more could we ask? AND THEN they gave us some *thirsty boi* action, great kisses, and charmed the pants off... well... everyone. Taiwan, we don’t deserve you. Honestly, you spoil us. Turns out Aaron Lai is the best wingman any gay Japanese man in quarantine could ask for. Everyone should be watching this. It’s utterly charming. 

The Tasty Florida (Viki) Ep 3 & 4 - this Korean BL so fucking cute. Look it’s formless and too short but simultaneously aching and kinda special-sweet. But Korea has got to settle into something a bit longer for their BL for everyone’s sake. It’s time. Light On Me proved it was possible. I’m not asking for much, just 15 min+ of fresh content with at least a 10 ep arc. 

In Case You Missed It

Someone dropped K-BL movie cut of 2015′s The Lover series onto YouTube. The series was about 4 different couples all living in the same apartment complex, one of the 4 was a BL plot about a sunshine sweetie Japanese tourist who ends up roommates with a hot shy tsundere Korean boy. It’s 1.5 hours, proving Korea and stretch its BL when it wants to. 

Read more about it here. 

GOSSIP!

Rumors of OhmFluke to star in new Thai BL Oh! My Sunshine Night. It’s from Newsinfinity Entertainment who announced the casting and showed the couple in workshops. This is this (small) production house’s first BL and they aim to “appeal to to general audiences* with a “broader view of BL that everyone will watch.” Which is code for LOW heat, light gay, soft boys. If this happens I think we can expect this to be Thailand doing Korean-style BL. 

* GENERAL AUDIENCE? Let’s be clear no piece of media will EVER appeal to everyone. Here is the USA “general audience” is code for “families with socially conservative values and children who are still minors” AKA what used to be prime time TV watchers AKA suburbia. 

 The concept is analytically old fashioned and so fractured at this juncture (socially economically spatially politically) that “general audience” is actually impossible to target and it doesn’t really exist. But try telling that to the publicity department. 

We also call this the “Disney live action demo.” (Think Pirates of the Caribbean.) I occasionally refer to them as “the Simpsons.” And they’re about as realistic. All that to say I am VERY suspicious of Oh! My Sunshine Night‘s production house. 

To My Star does seem to be getting a second season, same director, same mains. Korea is much better about executing on its promises than Thailand, but until I see proof of filming or an honest trailer, my favorite boys are staying in the gossip section. I don’t wanna get my hopes up. (Honestly now, how many of you also want an alt reality with these two as a couple but Kim Kang Min playing his long suffering cardiologist intern character from Hospital Playlist? Just me?) 

I reported on Unforgotten Night a while ago. It seems to have been fully cast now, I still think the publicity stills make it look like a joke. But with this line-up I guess it’s even more of an alt answer to KinnPorsche. 

You know that thing that happens in media when suddenly we get multiples of the same style of movie or show at once? It’s now happening with BL. Love triangles. Restaurants. And now mafia. 

Cutie Pie (our arranged marriage Thai BL staring Zee) dropped some wardrobe fitting photo ops. Also... fancy pants sexy suits that fit, so that’s exciting. 

Starting Soon

My Mate Match from Starhunter should be starting on Line TV next Saturday. Usually, Line has subs relatively quickly and is available internationally. However the fact that the trailer is not subbed and the show is not listed on Line’s site has me nervous. No idea on length of run either. 

Starhunter studio doesn’t have a great track record in general for narrative arcs and this one is not based on a y-novel so could get waffly. This is a roommates love triangle BL about a boy who is looking for one roommate and ends up with two vying for his home and his heart. Stars Jet as the uke lead which I’m pretty happy about as he’s got great comedic timing and is accustomed to BL. He’s opposite two friends/co-actors from Gen Y and other projects, so we know they’re comfortable with each other. They could do great things... if they get a decent script. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Some shows may be listed later than actual air date for International subs accessibility reasons.

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

This week’s best moment?