#i also think he couldnt think like this if he were any less strong than he was

[myrfing]

and (pointing at nothing) gourd isn’t really HEALTHY about his execution of his purpose either in that he is kind of insane about it. like he completely lacks a sense of self-preservation until after post-shb. he fully considers the possibility he will get blown up and die one million times and inflict terrible violence and just accepts that as almost a matter of fact. i think from a surface level outside view he can very much be taken as someone with an almost unnatural religious fanaticism but at the same time he’s like. not. he doesn’t actually ascribe to a divinity or a belief that he specifically will be rewarded or saved. he doesn’t do it out of need for approval or self hatred or insecurity or to prove his loyalty. he just believes that if he dies something stronger will grow in his place because that’s what he sees in the world all the time. if he believes in a heaven or hell it’s not somewhere else but right here.

his weirdness about it if anything comes from a sense of detachment-but-not-alienation that he found in the wake of the spires dying. the human part is is that this is him making sense of their choice to fight and die even though it hurt him. he WAS for a long time lost and empty in the wake of that decision and this is how he found purpose…it’s just that just because it came from troubled waters doesn’t mean it’s untrue or just a cheap justification. he feels like his place in the world is a given just because he was born, because that’s what he thought of his loved ones. he loves the world and his own existence within it but he loves the world just as much without so he sees no point in being defensive about his life. it’s very much like. a cucumber is a cucumber and it’s still a cucumber if you ate it. this is making even more sense as I keep going on

[vanderdyks]

I literally dont know how to continue explaining to people that part of the reason Goku decided to stay dead was because Gohan hated fighting.

He didnt know this until cell. He literally had no idea. Gohan NEVER gave any indication whatsoever. Couple that with the fact Bulma pointed out most of people threatening the Earth during that point in time were all people wanting Goku. The saiyans. Frieza. The androids. Doctor Gero. Cell.

All because of Goku. Its not his fault but his very existence consistently put the Earth in danger. He truly believed Earth would be safer without him and therefore, gohan wouldnt be consistently placed into battle.

Because Goku didnt know gohan hated fighting. But once he knew came the very interwoven nature of these threats he brought making his own son fight because gohan felt he HAD to. Not because he wanted to. For goku, protecting the earth always aligned with his own love for fighting. But gohan fought out of necessity, out of the very idea that they couldnt afford to do it without him. He has this power he didnt ask for so he must use it right? Because it would be selfish if he didnt.

But goku... goku thought gohan was like him. Gohan WANTED to return to help fight vegeta. He WANTED to go to namek. He WANTED to stay and fight after piccolo almost died to frieza. Goku didnt see gohan train that first year. Didnt witness what it took to make gohan a fighter. All he saw was his son who now was strong and wanted to join the fight like his dad. And he knows gohan is more powerful than them, knows he can stop cell, FELT IT. Gohan has to defeat cell because no one else can. So he thinks if gohan gets angry enough fighting cell, itll be the answer. Because thats how its always been for goku. And in thirty seconds piccolo makes him realize he's wrong. He doesnt argue back, he listens and concedes and realizes that piccolo is right. And suddenly goku wants to abandon his plan and stop the fight. He made a mistake. He intends to get gohan out. And in the end, he still ended up being right, but it doesnt change what goku now knows. Gohan isnt like him and he doesnt enjoy fighting.

Goku would have NEVER made gohan fight if he thought he didnt want to. You know this whenever adult gohan gets involved in a fight and goku apologizes that he had to. Or when someone suggests gohan for a battle and goku is like nah he's "out of practice," even when they have time FOR PRACTICE. He never wants to force gohan into a situation like cell again. Because cell was a mistake and goku has learned from it. So he never asks Gohan to fight anymore. If Gohan wants in then of course he's in. But he wants his son to be able to choose that. He wants gohan to be HAPPY and if thats not fighting then thats perfectly alright with goku.

So it wasnt just about keeping the earth safe. Or his friends. It was knowing that in the safety of gokus absence, gohan wouldnt have to fight either. There would be less threats, less chances of his son being forced into battle. And sure he also trusted that gohan and the others could keep the earth safe if they had to, but he was banking on the threat level significantly decreasing instead.

And decrease it did. They had seven whole years of peace. Not a single threat. Meanwhile from the moment Raditz shows up to gokus death to cell, it all takes place within the span of FIVE YEARS. The longest they went without a threat was the three year gap spent training for the androids. And they spent every waking moment knowing they were coming.

And then if you look at trunks future... majority of the human population being wiped out by the androids. Majority of gokus friends. His son. All dead. Because of him. Because he defeated the red ribbon army when he was a child. And that very easily could have been their future as well. So Goku does his job in preventing that. He saves all of them. And if hes the only one who ends up dead, well... it doesnt matter. Because they aren't. And he intends to keep it that way. So he stays in otherworld, to keep them safe and to give his son a future that he can choose. If Gohan has to fight, then he can. But at least his father wouldnt be the one bringing the threats to his door.

[hazerun3]

I just saw your post about the difference between passive and swan. I'd like to ask the difference between young swad and dream?

shittier doodle this time cuz Im getting tired but the ramblings are probably more unhinged

I dont have particularly strong feelings on dream so this is gonna be mostly younger swad and comparisons to dream when needed

-Views social interaction as inherently transactional and as a game that he can learn to play (he doesnt realise that in the village he was never going to be a player on equal ground, this is why after his ascension his persona is more deity ified rather than a king or smth like nm cuz he wants to be Above it all and in control.)

-Been obsessed with swan even as passives (His Duty to help people got drilled into him, the village feels entitled to his help and swad slowly grows tired of them, but his little brother is always kind to him and doing things for him feels so much more rewarding [tho eventually the village tries to stifle any attempts swad does to get something nice for his brother which frustrates swad so much and swan not asking for anything and just being happy to see him and trying so hard just to make swad happy, even as hes hurt fuels this.] so the mix of the sense of duty, him being the older brother so self imposing a sense of responsibility and swan being nice to him leads him to adopt a mentality where Swan is the only one whos special and actually cares about him not just what he can do for him, but with the way hes raised by the village he tries desperately to try and do something for swan in return cuz he still feels like hes failing in his part of the social bargain)

-Also the cult village placed sooooo much value on stuff like never being angry, always being happy :), youre not allowed to be mean, you Must be hardworking all the time, visibly showing that youre sad is Evil. And swad seethes constantly cuz no one in this fucking village follows that and the one person who embodies all these values the most is swan (who everyone still hates for reasons inexplicable to swad, who believes theres still a way to get swan out of his outcast status if the village just realises that swan is the kindest soul in this rotten place.)

-Dream maintains a more "child" status in the village even as hes older than when swad fights to "adult" status, seeing it as a way to get more social power cuz he picked up that Adults have more power than Children but lol not for him, he just gets to have more responsibilites, the expectation to cut off swan and no money OR gifts for his work cuz gifts are for children doing chores not working adults and since its both swads duty and the fact that he doesnt have anything to spend it on that wouldnt be spending it unwisely they just dont pay him at all! and also hes an object not an adult to them so rushing to try and be an adult backfired miserably

-Swad loves listening to swan read stories to him, reallly wants to be the Prince who saves the damsel and sets his enemies on fire and he projects that persona

-Both he and dream were taken hunting I think, but dream didnt take to it (he had a knack for archery but as soon as he was told to turn that arrow on an innocent bunny he couldnt do it, his more "child" status helps him get out of it) swad was also aprehensive at first but since he places a lot of importance in being the Older Brother and being responsible (also he wants to kill people) so he shoots the bunny, he feels bad and cries about it to swan but he cant let go of the feeling, the smell of blood, the idea of that being someone who hurt swan

-in my head he killed people already lol (used the hunting trips as cover but his hit list is soooooo long and he gets less and less opportunity...)

-he loves shiny things so much but being materialistic and greedy is one of the sins, swan cant get him anything but he does press little flower ornaments for his brother and so much flower jewlery so that swad can roleplay being a prince.

-he hates everyone soooooooo much <3

[billyjoecobra]

JOSEPH JOESTAR CHARACTER ANALYSIS (1)

I never see anyone talk or analyze Joseph very often in the fandom, which is tragic because i believe he's very complex!! So here's some thoughts to chew on, rattle around in your head a bit. It's all under the cut, and it is LONG AS HELL because i have a LOT to say on him!!! Warning though, it's not super properly punctuated as these are discord rambles of mine, but -- enjoy nonetheless!!

i think it's super interesting to note how every time someone puts joseph down, or does something shitty to him, he just doesn't care. not a single bit. he even says it's fine, maybe even deserved sometimes. he assumes people always thinks the worst of him, and yet doesn't really care aside from the one time he dressed in drag and got insulted about it. even then he was just kind of, "man. i looked hot though.." however every time someone even remotely upsets his friends or hurts those who don't deserve it or his family he goes. ABSOLUTELY APESHIT. he will get SO fighty.

he will immediately throw hands and hurt you physically without thinking about it he likes to put assholes in their place sometimes (i.e. the taxi driver, the nazis who insulted him. and any nazi really ) but that is different than really caring about what they say to him. i think he has a very strong moral code, though people tend to see him as quite dubious because of his loud and obnoxious behavior every consequence to his actions, he only worries what others close to him will think and he can easily be driven to a blind rage revenge if you dare to hurt his family in any way. because you DONT fuck with his family. family is the no. 1 thing he cares about

beating up racist cops? he only feels bad because he doesn't want to stress out erina with the thought of bailing him out. told speedwagon is dead? he's upset, but he keeps his cool and throws a punch at the guy for upsetting erina, and worries more about her comfort than his own. guys hijacking a plane and holding him hostage? he couldnt care less if he was the hostage, he only cared enough to stop it because it might risk getting speedwagon hurt. and it goes on

and for the sake of his family he keeps purposefully trying to risk himself to death repeatedly. when fighting kars lets not forget when he shot kars into space and his thoughts were about how he was ok with dying if it meant his family was safe i think . and i said this before this is just me getting my thoughts out way more eloquently with points i've already touched on before. but.

in a non emo way, it's really hit me how he isn't like. beat up about it. about assuming ppl always think the worst of him. he cares way more about others than himself type of guy thats like similar to "they're friendly but after awhile of their support and talking to them you realize to your horror you dont actually know anything about them at all" other than he's like. bold and brash and likes to start fights sometimes oh and lest we forget he also tends to take the death of loved ones so hard to the point that no matter the circumstances true causes he always blames himself.

he always blames himself and gets a bit. ummmmm i wouldn't say suicidal but like way too risky with his life and stops really caring if he'll die. he's just so used to nobody ever understanding him and his "off kilter" tbh neurodivergent way of thinking and living that he. like. he doesn't exactly have great self image beyond thinking he has sexy lips which sounds so silly but it's true and again it's not something he dwells on it's just kind of, A Fact to him. and this isn't even touching on the slew of issues i'm sure speedwagon's constant comparing of him to his dead grandfather must have caused.

It's very evident to me that he has ALWAYS felt like a burden to some degree i think. even when erina and speed havent really treated him as such. This is why I think his dynamic with speedwagon would be pretty strained / already seems as such -- bc. As I said before, he's ALWAYS comparing him to jonathan, even when he was just a kid.

NOW BY ALL MEANS!! I DO NOT THINK speedwagon means any ill will. it's just something that he just keeps.. doing because. well he respected jonathan so much, and it kind of clouds how he sees joseph because -- well, joseph is the SPITTING IMAGE of him. But not intending harm does not mean he hasn't caused any by doing that -- comparison can WRECK you pretty bad. joseph has made it clear that he knows he's nothing like jonathan in any regards except looks and i think it kind of contributes to his overall. tanked self image. and also the fact that he's a reminder of the tragedy of losing his parents ( or so they thought for a while. yk )

he deeply cares for him still, this much is true. he always will. but, it doesn't negate the serious comparison issue, constantly being told "WOW you have an attitude not at ALL like your grandpa, he would have never done x!! how do you look like him while being such an angry kid!!"

..... said without real malice or really bad intention, more out of exasperation. but. those kinds of things stick with kids. yknow? Joseph's always bottled up his emotions and tried to be on his best behavior for erina's sake. hes always a little more open with speedwagon. but .............. BWGHGURUGURGGH!!!!!!! i could go on for hours about it ok. but i shall move on to my next point now.

what sucks about it though is that the fandom tends to gloss over these bit of characterization at every turn. there is a lot of sadness and concerning things surrounding joseph that he just simply SHRUGS OFF about that it's kinda concerning! not that he'd ever really see a problem with it.

the fact that he was prepared to die / did the bet if only to distract them long enough to let caesar and speedwagon get away... you COULD maybe read it as a little bit of self preservation but given how he handles literally all other instances of him possibly dying., and the circumstances of him leading whammuu away being to SAVE those two. I think it yet again falls in line with "who gaf if i die i care if THEY die". then he gets stressed about the time he has left. which i imagine would stress ANYONE honestly. but . part of me thinks that it's also because this means that he has a short time to make sure he can be strong enough to protect everyone he loves and cares for..

that isn't ALL there is, of course. but i feel like with his behavior that is probably a big reason of it. You can summarize it all with one sentence; essentially,

joseph isn't afraid of death, nor dying himself; he's afraid of his loved ones dying.

This fact is extremely present in everything he does and says, but especially so when Caesar's death hits. THAT, however, i will make it's own post on. I have a lot to say on that and how it fucked him up for life. For now, though, I will move on and touch on another topic.

for all the loud opinions joseph seems to also speak none of it is ever really looked into much deeper as anything more than " he's just being joseph again" and he never really elaborates on it either, hence why a lot of people don't know much about him. While he is schrodinger's himbo -- too stupid to be smart, too smart to be stupid -- it's clearly all an act to get people to lower their expectations of him. He doesn't like being taken as a joke though. that he is a hater of for sure so. Joseph hides his true self behind a mask of idiocy and lackadaisical attitude to the point where it's blended into his actual truest self and he can hardly tell what's real and what's the mask. But at the same time, Joseph gets very angry when nobody takes him seriously because of his facade and trying to make everyone lower their expectations of him so he can pull the rug out from under them.

He's so mad when people don't take him serious but then continues to act pretty unserious and it's like. Well if you want them to take you more seriously bro you should stop doing that. Stop lowering others expectations so you can kick their asses or have a general upper hand just in case ( but he won't 💖)

he is a bit of a polarizing character but i hate when fandom reduces him to just "funny goofster" or ""cheater"", or writes him off as annoying with no depth to him. To judge Joseph through a lense of solely good or solely bad is a terrible idea; that man is gray moraled as HELL, he has a strong sense of self justice while also being incredibly underhanded and sneaky. If you dislike him, that's fine -- but don't discount his complexity just cause of that!!! He's not puddle deep, there's a lot of facets to how truly fucked up he is.

yeah. he is goofy, and he's a cheater at many things. but there's a lot to him. HE'S COMPLEX!!!!

[transgenderer]

i keep asking for tap water at german restauraunts and they keep giving me bottle water. i assumed this was just a failure of communication but my aunt who was visiting assumed they were doing it on purpose to charge you for it. i think this is possible but i also think its a good case study of an important distinction for me. like. you dont really have any evidence one way or the other, right? and it's not clear how you should change your behavior. i mean i looked up german for tapwater (leitungswasser) but maybe they dont do that or they didnt understand my pronunciation or whatever. but some of the possible changes in behavior, like getting mad at the person, dont really help! you cant like, *make* them give you free water.

my dad and his sister (the aunt in question) both lean hard towards assuming the worst of people, like specifically that someone has fucked them over rather than made a mistake (i remember at a potluck my mom couldnt come so he made her a plate to bring home, then (after all the food was gone) it wasnt where he left it so he assumed that someone stole it. i said probably someone just took it by accident, iirc we asked around and i was right, they had made a different plate for someone else. this really stuck in my mind). they were both raised in NYC in the 70s and 80s so they got like actually mugged. and also i assume pick-pocketed and stuff. im not sure if this is the cause but it seems plausible, less trust-tolerant

maybe im just being naive but i feel like trying to assume that people are not your enemies is good for your mental wellbeing. or...assuming the people around you are enemies is harmful, is the more significant thing i guess. i think it wears on you, being surrounded by ops. so you can either live in a walled garden or just trust strangers more and hope it doesnt hurt you too much. not to get all evopsych but yknow, humans lived in pretty small groups since like forever, there was a lot of drama in these groups and even abuse etc but also i think theres a strong enough interdependence that you do generally trust each other. i mean, trust but verify, but trust. and i feel like if you dont trust the people around you on some level, then you must feel like youre always in like...a rival band or whatever. and a rival band might kill you! its a scary situation!

[cartoonrival]

ok + for goodness' sake sasuke so that the screenshot takes up less space

1)parallels between naruto/sasuke and naruto/kawaki. i think honestly carrying over and actually bringing attention to the love-obsession thing that was going on sort of mostly unaddressed in the original series (in terms of no one called naruto as insane as they frankly shouldve) has the potential to be very interesting, especially because bringing it into the sphere of a father-son relationship rather than a platonic/romantic one is not really something i've seen before, along with the fact that kawaki doesn't actually know naruto much at all, making this very much an idolization of an idea of the person who saved you, someone who can do no wrong and is so without flaw. it was what this dude said:

like kawaki's obsession is weird and emblematic of how he grew up. also, the way that both of them sort of end up treating the other like a thing to be protected or owned or passed around, kawaki trapping him in time prison with zero regards for the fact that no one wants to be in time prison, and naruto's famous "give sasuke back/dont talk about sasuke like you own him in front of me/i'll get sasuke back/ill break your legs if i have to", there is the dismissal of actual personal wants However.

kawaki does this because he thinks that naruto's life is worth more than anything ever, and the reason he thinks this is because he thinks naruto is the most perfect person in the world and the only one who can save the world from evil. in naruto's case, even though he has a habit of possessiveness, sasuke is very much still a person to him, someone he violently and desperately wants to be close to. he doesnt think sasuke is perfect or can do no wrong, he just doesnt really give a fuck what wrong things sasuke does because he loves him too much and wants him too bad to ever hold anything against him. anything sasuke does is understandable and forgivable. naruto wouldnt put sasuke in time prison to protect him because then they couldnt hang out, and he knows sasuke wouldnt want that anyways. while i think naruto's obsession is insane, its more possessive than dehumanizing, which is def the angle kawaki is taking. again, i think this could be interesting if it was expounded upon but i dont think anyone in boruto is enough of a character for this actually do be pulled off in any satisfying way.

2)boruto/kawaki vs naruto/sasuke. i think honestly i just dont really have it in me to even act like kawaki and boruto have a dynamic that even comes close to the bullshit naruto and sasuke have going on, but if i were to attempt to explain why i dont think this is the case than i think at least part of it (beyond the fact taht ever character in boruto is painfully undercooked) is that boruto and kawaki's bond is based almost entirely around both being marked by karma. like they become friends sort of on a more surface level same way boruto is friends with anyone else, but its definitely not the same as naruto and sasuke's inexplicable pull towards one another since they were kids. even though kawaki has like sort of stupid convoluted internal strife going on, boruto doesnt honestly have enough inner issues to even shadow the bizarre knot that is sns. boruto and naruto both didn't want to kill their wayward friends because it's hard to kill someone you care about, i don't think that reads as a strong parallel because its like . what kind of story would it be if boruto was just like Okay lets kill him... now! also if kawaki dies naruto stays trapped im p sure so if he kills kawaki he is also functionally killing his dad

3)naruto and sasuke are both terrible parents but sasuke is leagues leagues leagues worse and he sees boruto has his son more than he will ever see sarada as his daughter. to him, she is his daughter because that is the only way she should have the sharingan. he can't really stand being around her and any interaction he has with her is out of guilt. boruto is his son because boruto is naruto's son

4)why did they bring up that jiraiya might get resurrected and then just drop it or is this me forgetting since i watched boruto 6+ months ago

[quirklessidiot]

Title: blood son [oneshot; filthy rich sequel]  Pairing: millionare!sakusa kiyoomi x y/n [filthy capitalist au ft. kageyama tobio as your son] Genre: major angst ahead, thriller, yandere!au-ish

Synopsis: A full circle of madness finally comes to an end.

Warnings: sexual themes, rape, yandere behaviorisms (just some obsessive and disturbing stuff), very dark themes, anxiety, trauma, depression, eating disorder, unwanted pregnancy/children (y/n hates her kid here), suicide,  gaslighting, and Y/N’s decent to madness

Notes: happy 800 due to a lot of uh people asking for a short sequel, here it is...for better understanding, please read filthy rich skskksks anyways onto the story…i cant write smut for shit sIKE also fuck men and women like this, if you see them chok’em and chunk’em in the basin.  yes tobio is ur bby boy here idk kageyama and sakusa have the same energy i just couldnt resist i swear sksks

Filthy rich // series masterlist

A moan escapes your lips when you feel the hot liquid fill your hole, your expression is tantalizing and completely erotic. Something that he can’t seem to stop looking at, your body that was now a canvas of his marks, was a reminder that no one could have you. 

You're oblivious to it all, the things he did. The things he wanted to do to you, the dark thoughts, you were like a small rabbit in the den of a large wolf. Completely trusting, completely dumb and he’s taking advantage of it.

He stuffs and fills you up with his seed so that you’ll never leave him. 

He wants to breed you.

Your belly swelling with his children.

It was definitely a dream come true.

Your eyes snap back to reality as the bus stops in front of the new town, you had moved towns earlier since the town started to become a tourist destination. The idea of staying there would be too risky despite having the alias of Kageyama Miwa. You were still in hiding and you feared to even open the news despite it being eight years since you ran away.

“Okaasan, are we going to go down now?” a small voice asks.

You turn to find his son staring right at you, it had been a cruel reminder for him to look a lot like his father. You knew that he didn’t have any part in this, he was a victim just like you but you couldn’t help but be distant and not-so affectionate.

This was his kid.

His blood.

You couldn’t help but shrivel away.

“...Okaasan will just take her duffel bag on the overhead, just wait right behind me.” You say quietly. Tobio was a good boy, he was quiet and obedient. If the circumstances had been different, you’d adore him but every time you looked at him, all you saw was his wretched father and the unnamed things he did in the name of ‘love’.

To be honest, you didn’t know what else Sakusa did aside from trying to get you pregnant and holding you back from leaving. 

You didn’t even want to try to find out. If he was willing to go through such lengths to have you stay, it was more than enough reason to run away. You held onto your child’s hands as you made your way to your new home, it was smaller than the last one but this was alright.

It was clean and livable.

Tobio stays at the side, out of your way as you begin to fix up the house. The young boy isn’t social for his age towards his peers and you should be worried yet you can’t bring yourself to be, “Okaasan’s going to go to the grocery store, would you like anything?” you ask.

“Milk.”

“Alright, just stay here okay?”

He meekly nods as you awkwardly pat his head and  tie your roughly chopped hair in a tight ponytail, over the course of eight years, time has not been kind to you. You had grown unhealthily thin, probably lost some hair due to stress, and the bags underneath your eyes due to the lack of good sleep was evident.

You tell yourself that he isn’t looking for you now.

That he probably found a new plaything but you couldn’t help but look behind your shoulder every time. You didn’t even expect to get this far away, last you heard whilst you were at the station towards the last town eight years ago, you were being searched up and down by the police all over Tokyo.

You really thought you’d be found out and you feared for the worse but the farther you went, the less news reports you saw.

They probably thought you had died.

Which was good on your part that time because you’d rather be dead in a ditch than be caught up with a man like him again.

“...-Kusa Kiyoomi is expected to marry the daughter of Akiko Corp soon…”

You tense up at the mention of the very familiar name as you pass by the appliance store, shakily you turn to the tv screen to find a video of Sakusa Kiyoomi with a woman who had the same hair color as yours. Everything around you is muted now as his cold gaze fills the tv screen, your heart is thumping quick. 

He isn’t here.

He isn’t here.

“...It’s quite the love story of the century, don’t you think? After the disappearance of Kiyoomi’s beloved eight years ago, he met her a few years back and he seems to be doing well.” The tv anchor smiles on the screen as she talks to her co-host but inside you were shaking, what did happen to your missing person report? Curiosity starts to gnaw your insides as you head to the internet café before going to the grocery store.

You didn’t have the guts to look then but after seeing that report, you pull up on the secluded part of the internet café and search up your case. Your mouth dries up, the search was still on-going much to your surprise. There was even a website dedicated to it, “...Y/N L/N might be suffering from hysteria and psychological problems, please contact us immediately when you see her.”

Your eyes narrowed at the report as you shakily cup your mouth and choke back a laugh, that bastard really had the audacity to diagnose you with that when he was the one sick to the head.

Once again, the bile on your throat starts to pile up.

It still wasn’t safe.

You’d probably live your whole life on the run.

On the run with his son that scarily resembled him, how fucking cruel.

Sakusa Kiyoomi’s eyes glaze over the small town in discontent, apparently his bride-to-be wanted to get married here and who was he to refuse? All he wanted to do was get this over with so her father can shut up.

“Kiyoomi-san.” a small dainty voice calls out, he turns to his side to find (h/c) staring right at him. Akiko Hideyo is the daughter of one of the most powerful businessmen in Tokyo, he met her at a function a few years ago.

The very first time he saw her was from behind, it was a rather scary resemblance that he had to stop himself from approaching her by calling your name yet when he started to talk to her and hear her dainty voice, he realizes that she’s not even like you at all.

She was gentle and dainty like a deer.

Albeit his little bunny was gentle when they got together sometimes, he always recalled how you were filled with spunk. How you weren’t even afraid to put him in his place and how you were all over the place but seem to look beautiful whilst doing so.

He always recalled wanting to control you yet you never seem to succumb to it.

It had been eleven years since you first met, eight years since you had disappeared without a single trace and Sakusa is stuck with some third-rate look alike for relief. Every time they fucked, it was always from behind. Hideyo thinks it’s just his preference but in reality, it was because her back had such strong resemblance to you and he’d imagine every time that it was you.

He misses the roughness, the high, the erotica. 

The only things you could provide.

It was never enough, it was only you, you, and you.

“...Have you decided what flavor you wanted? Komori-san mentioned that you liked vanilla.” his fiancé meekly says.

Hideyo was boring.

Sometimes he wonders if he’s just doing this because he has never seen someone closely resembling you, “Anything would be fine.” He replied in a clipped tone. As the car comes to a halt for a moment because of a large truck backing from a driveway, his attention shifted towards a young boy bouncing a volleyball against the pavement outside his window. There are scratches on his knee cap yet the boy had a blank look on his face, he was sort of reminded of himself when he was younger.

As he was about to look away, he sees a woman approach the young boy and bends down to his level to check the scratches.

The woman’s small figure isn’t even the least bit familiar yet his attention can’t seem to go away. He watches her tuck the strand of stray hair and he finally gets a good look and it feels like the world stops turning at how the woman scarily resembles you. Albeit the figure was smaller and the hair was another color and unevenly chopped short.

It was no mistake.

“Y/N.” He mumbles yet as he’s about to open the door, the car starts to move. Kiyoomi’s fist tightens as he uncharacteristically yells at the driver to stop the car, Hideyo jumps on the seat and before she could say anything else, the business mongrel is out of the car, running to where you stood.

Yet just like a ghost, you were gone and so was the little boy who had oddly resembled him.

These days you had even a harder time sleeping. Maybe it was because there was a little leak on the ceiling, or better yet, maybe it was because the heater wasn’t working, or maybe it was because you were at a new place which made it harder to adjust.

You sat at the side with your expense book on hand, your gaze on his son who was peacefully asleep. Tobio was growing older soon and he needed to settle down at one place for high school and college. A part of yourself ventured deep and dark in your mind, the thought of leaving him at an orphanage seemed better now.

He had a fake last name anyways, the bastard wouldn’t be able to find him. 

You’d be doing this boy a favor since you never saw him as your kid and he’d be away from his very messy world.

Your thoughts are immediately disrupted when you hear a brief knock on the door. This made you tense up, it was late, Why would there be a need for visitors? Your son is quick to be awoken by the second knock and you immediately press your hand on his mouth and while your other finger is on your lips to signal him to keep quiet.

Another knock.

Tobio looks worried, it wasn’t his first time to see an episode from you but this time, something feels different. You're shaking more and you look like you’re about to pass out any moment. “Stay quiet.” you mouth as you crawl towards the door and press your ear on it to confirm who was on the other side, too afraid to even take a peak on the window.

Silence.

The only sound that could be heard was your thumping heart, Tobio had voluntarily placed a hand on his mouth to keep himself quiet.

Another knock.

You shut your eyes tight, praying to whatever god out there for this person to leave.

“...I don’t think anyone lives here.” You hear someone say on the other side, the voice sounded so familiar but you just couldn’t pinpoint who it was, this wasn’t Sakusa for sure,  “Are you sure that the information was right?”

Silence again.

“Hm.” The person hummed, knocking again, “Well, this place seems like a dead end. The landlady said that she’s not familiar with the tenants here so we could be wrong…”

The voice started to decrease and you feel yourself slowly starting to breathe easier. Tobio slowly put down his hand and there you saw it, the fear on his eyes. You breathe in and out, calming yourself, this place isn't safe anymore, “Tobio, take your bags. We’re leaving.” you only say.

You don’t even hesitate to leave despite it being the middle of the night.

Tobio is right in front of you as you go down your small apartment and you think everything is well, you really do yet luck didn’t seem to be on your side that night.

“...Y/N?”

A dreadfully familiar voice calls out, didn’t they leave? Why? why was he here?

“O-Okaasan.” Tobio mumbles, grabbing your hand and hiding behind you.

Your head hurts, you wanted to just be selfish and leave Tobio here with this man, his father, the wretched, vile creature who had betrayed you. You wanted to run.

You didn’t feel safe.

Sakusa Kiyoomi didn’t make you feel safe.

“Y/N…” He repeats, slowly approaching you, “It’s me, bunny.”

Oh, how you hated that pet name. It sounded like you were his plaything, like you could never escape from his set-up. Before you could say anything else, he invades your personal space once again and envelopes you in a very,very tight hug.

“I’ve missed you so, so much.” He whispers on your ear and your shivering, not from pleasure but from fear, “Shh, it’s alright. I found you. It must’ve been hard to be alone out here.”

Get away.

Get away.

“Get the fuck away from me.” You yell, pushing him off of you as you stagger away from him. Tobio remains behind you, completely shaking.

“Now, Y/N-” he tries to shush you, “We should go home now, you’ve spent so much time away from me but I understand, you were probably just scared to tell me you were pregnant, right?” 

He cups the right side of your face and places a chaste kiss on your temple, tears are threatening to spill as you realize that this was all over. You couldn’t escape now, this lunatic wouldn’t let you have at it.

The soft and plush bed is completely foreign to your back, Kiyoomi had you separated from Tobio because apparently you were still too ‘unstable’. It made you mentally scoff, between the both of you, he was the unstable one.

You wondered if they started to feed the small boy lies about you, Kiyoomi definitely milked it out to the press for sure. When he had found you, not only were your friends and family in a frenzy, the media was having a field day too. He had broken off the engagement and he used your ‘mental illness’ card on them and it worked.

Another story was weaved on papers, a love that transcended through time.

You let out a low sardonic laugh.

Mental Illness, you wondered if this could be a ploy for a suicide. After all, you’d rather be face first on the pavement than stay here with a son about to be fed on lies and a crazy bastard who sleeps next to you at night.

You stare out your window, the curtains were drawn as you looked at the free birds.

How envious.

“Y/N?” Kiyoomi comes in, a food tray in hand, “It’s time for dinner.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Y/N it’s been two days, all you ate was an apple-”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Y/N, our son-”

“He was never my son.” You harshly snapback, your voice sharp, “He’s yours through and through, a fucking incarnate of you and a curse. He’s not mine. He never will be.”

You suddenly feel the presence of the small boy behind the door and there stands his boy, staring right at your eyes yet you feel nothing for him. You never felt anything for him. The moment they placed him on your arms to nurse, there was no joy nor light.

All he brought was a painful reminder.

Kiyoomi places the tray to the side and closes the door behind him, Tobio’s blank gaze still on you, “...Those aren’t words a child is supposed to hear, Y/N. Especially ours…” he inches closer and you clench your fist tightly and he places his hand on your neck and lightly holds it. 

You aren’t scared of him anymore, the nicest thing this guy could do was kill you, really.

“Maybe we should have a girl this time, hm?” his hand trails upwards to softly caress the side of your face.

You’re immediately frozen by his sudden choice of words, no, no-

“Maybe you’ll learn to love Tobio even more when you’re pregnant with another of mine-” before he could finish what he was about to say, you raise a hand and slap him right at his face, it must’ve been hard since it left a mark, “Ah, Y/N. I didn’t know you still liked it rough-”

“D-Don’t, I-I can’t get pregnant.” You're shaking this time as you try to come up with a lie, “I-I can’t…”

“Oh?” He tilts his head, “Why not?”

“I’ll die.” You lied, “When I had Tobio I almost died, my body couldn’t handle it. T-The doctor had said that if I were to have another, I’d die…”

The lie didn’t save you that moment, really. He has become an expert at detecting your lies so instead of a reply, he harshly places his lips on yours and despite protests, he just pins you down.

He’s harsh on you that night, spilling and stuffing you with his cum, whispering that you’ll have it all and that you’d be his everything but all you could do was let a small hiccup escape your lips as you tried to hold back your cries.

‘Someone, anyone, please.’ you pleaded internally.

You don’t see Tobio until a week later, the boy has grown a tad bit chubbier and is adorned with expensive clothes. Sakusa, on the other hand, has been force-feeding you to the point where you threw up right after meals (secretly, of course) 

You sit down at the couch as your son blinks at you, “...I’m sorry.” He breaks the silence and you shut your eyes tight as you recalled the harsh words he heard last week.

“I’m sorry too, Tobio.” you could only reply because genuinely, you did feel like you went too far this time. He didn’t choose to be born, a part of you should’ve saved him the misery and left him at the orphanage that time, “Do you hate me?” you ask.

“No.”

“You should.” You say quietly, “You should hate your otosan too.”

Tobio remains quiet at your words.

“When you grow older, don’t end up like him. don’t end up like us. forget us when you have the chance.”

“Okay.”

“Promise me.”

“I promise.”

“Good and If you ever get the chance to leave, promise me that you get out and don’t look back.”

Tobio may have been eight years old that time but he knows fear when he sees it and he knows promises aren’t meant to be broken. He remembers those words well because it was the last long conversation he has with you. 

The month of December rolls by and it’s cold, you’ve given up fighting back at this point. Your glassy eyes are directed to the window, not even wanting to look down at your bulging stomach. Kiyoomi doesn’t even need to tell you twice to not leave the house, you decide upon yourself to just stay at your room on bed the whole time.

You wonder, just how high is it from up here? Would it hurt?

“Y/N?” a dreadful voice calls out.

“Hm.” 

“You haven’t gone out of our room in two months. You haven’t even seen Tobio.” Sakusa points out, you were like a obedient doll now. So lifeless, so still, you wished he’d discard you already.

“I might say something again, I don’t want to bother.” You replied truthfully, gaze still avoiding his.

The raven-haired man starts to caress your plump face, you had grown chubbier since the beginning of your pregnancy, he couldn’t be anymore happier to finally be there for you.

This was perfect.

You were finally his.

You weren’t letting go.

“...Don’t you ever regret it?” You finally ask, turning to him, your blank eyes staring at his rather deranged ones, the eyes that you once loved was now just a reminder of your resentful life.

“Which one?” He asks, inching in closer to kiss your neck, your collarbone. You let out a meek sigh as you shut your eyes and internally prayed for this to be over quickly as he removes your ribbon that held your flimsy nightgown together.

“You killed people.” You uttered, “Took my life away, don’t you regret it?”

“Why would I?”

Right, how could a monster like him have such empathy? You feel his cold fingers brush against your folds, trying to stimulate it.

Everything except your body screamed no but you were just too powerless now. You wondered, how could you even end this all? Was jumping out the window the only solution now?

“...Right...” You let out a soft painful moan as he dips his finger inside. You’re under the idea that despite this happening countless of times, you’re body would be numb to it all yet each time it happens, it pains you even more,  “You even had to kill your ex-fiancé’s father for us to get married.”

You had come to realize just how deep his obsession was, the man was willing to kill to anyone who got in the way of your ‘love’. You remembered finding out about your ex-chief one night, about how he had chopped off his fingers and left him to bleed dry in the alleyway for the rats to feast on.

You remembered when a news came up that his supposedly future-father-in-law had died in a violent explosion during breakfast time and how he was nonchalant about it.

“...It’s all for you, Y/N.” He implores as he kissed your thighs and continue to stimulate your now wet folds, “All for you, Tobio, and my new little girl.”

“You’re sick.”

“Mhm. You smell good, I should continue using the soap from awhile ago when I clean you, right?” he hummed, ignoring what you had just said as he dipped his head in and take a kitten lick on your sex. You let out a small cry as your body betrayed you.

Your prayers for today are unheard yet again.

“...Y/N, you barely come out of your room these days.” Komori exclaimed, it turns out the visitor from last time who knocked on your door was him and as much as you wanted to knock his teeth out, you decide not to because you don’t see the point in doing violence these days.

“I’m tired.”

“Yeah, pregnancy does take a toll on your body.” He nods in agreement, it seemed like this was a casual thing for him, like you just weren’t repeatedly rape or mentally abused by his cousin, “Tobio certainly takes after his father, don’t you think?”

Your blood runs cold at the mention of the little boy, you had small hope for him either ways so you didn’t exactly cared for him anymore.

“I suppose so.” 

“You’ve gotten boring these days, Y/N.” Komori plainly pointed out, “It’s a wonder how my cousin gets to stick around ya. No offense.”

“None taken.”

Komori’s eyes narrowed at your hollowed response, you were so ungrateful. Here his cousin was, treating you with such delicateness and with all the attention that the other women wanted but you looked anything but happy about it.

If this was Hideko, she’d be elated.

But no, he had to be stuck with an ungrateful pompous bitch like you.

“How high up are we, Komori-san?” you suddenly ask.

He blinks at the rather weird question, “Fifty floors.”

“Hm.” You hummed, “That certainly is high.”

Komori would regret answering that question very soon though.

When the winter dawned upon a new year and you finally snap, you decide to answer your own prayers and opt to salvage yourself from this madness and cruelty once and for all.

Sakusa Tobio is nine years old when you, his mother, six months pregnant, jumped out the bedroom window from a fifty-foot story building two months into the new year. Your face is flat on the pavement and completely unrecognizable, the last conversation you both had replays on his head like a broken record through the years and only when he’s old enough that he realizes that he was no one’s son. 

His okaasan didn’t loved him nor did he want to be associated with his father for all he did was bring pain and disgust.

The boy is eighteen, fresh out of the academy, right in front of his baby sister’s and your mausoleum. He makes it a habit to visit you both a day before your death anniversary,  not wanting to be in the same room as his father yet this year he makes an exception.

Recently, he had turned over some evidence and his own testimony about what his father had been doing. Everything, from illegal works to the people he killed to your tragic end. It’s enough to file a case and have him set to jail for life, even his fancy lawyers couldn’t defend him. 

His lips sting because his Uncle Komori had punched him in the face and called him an ungrateful bastard like you but it was alright.

It was all over.

He plans to change his name back to Kageyama Tobio (the haux name you had given him when you were on the run) right after all the fiasco, it’s a kind name and the first name you had given him, he likes to think that this was also a gift from you that time, a new beginning straying away from you and his father's cruel ties. He had also felt that it was too unkind for him to use your last name despite his grandparents' persistence (he was after all, conceived through forceful means).

And although he wanted to hate you for those words you said that time when he was eight. He couldn’t really bring himself to after hearing what you had to go through, you were a victim. He couldn’t dare imagine what his father did to you during the last few months leading to your death.

Yet, right now. It was finished.

You could rest now.

“I did it, Y/N-san.” He mumbles as he bows down. As he got older, he has also foregone the idea of calling you by the name you loathed and shriveled away from, “I got out and I didn’t look back. Thank you for everything.”

Kageyama Tobio never visits you right after again, as promised.

[spencerscoven]

— dreams of another

about ; Since that night in the office you wander onto Spencer’s mind at all times, like clockwork.

gif by saramichellesgeller

CONTENT WARNING: unedited, smut, oral sex (male&female receiving), choking, unprotected sex, cheating, angst

a/n: view part 1 here.

The second time it happens, it's only a week that passes before Spencer finds himself on the floor of the humid conference room, his limbs entangled with yours, while the cool air settles on the sheen of sweat coated on his forehead. In the corner of of the room, he watches the navy blouse discarded carelessly on the top of a chair, similar in color to the marks between your breast.

The third time it happens, he tells you it's the last time, with his back facing you and his eyes gazing at entirely nothing.

The fourth and fifth time, Spencer doesn't say anything in the tiny space of your bedroom as he overlooks the buildings surrounding your apartment, then all the way to the concrete foundation down below, studying how insignificant everyone looked. How unknowing they were to the moral wrongdoings happening all around them.

"You live so high up. I live four floors down from here in my own building." You listened as he said those fruitless words.

"What does that mean?" You questioned, lips pursing together while your finger nails caught on the creases of the cream duvet beneath you where he laid only minutes before.

“People like you are meant to fuck people like me.” He mumbles, smirking, the vibrations of his voice upheld by the enclosures of cheap plaster walls.

The only thing left to do was to watch as the muscles of his back contracted, dancing in the lines of the darkness with the patter of his feet coming towards you. You monitored the direction of his hand as it reached for the band of his briefs, the other already latched around your neck.

The sixth time it happens, it’s in the bounds of his own apartment where he presses peppery kisses along the sides of your face, assuring you in confidence that she wouldn’t catch the two of you there. And he reassures you the only way he knows how, his fingers plying at your zipper and kneeling like he would at an alter, guiding the arch of your hips closer.

Two weeks from then was when the phone calls started. You began to understand the pattern, laying awake until the sweet pinnacle of dawn where he’d whisper your name through the receiver, exhaustion tainted in Spencer’s voice when he’d ask, “how was your night?” before he began to speak. You’d listen to Spencer talk about the good and the bad. About his mother, vintage cufflinks, and the bookshelf he wanted. Sometimes about the glasses or earrings in the store had reminded him of you. Often about how pretty you looked latched onto his cock. You wanted him to want to keep you.

You wanted him to want you first, to touch you before you even had to lay a finger on him, to grab the back of your neck and kiss you first. Anything he could do to prove that he wanted this too. Something in your head told you it was wrong to long for such a furtive thing. But you found yourself willing to be second best anyways, head stuck below sub zero while you prioritized the taste of his lips along with everything else that made him, him.

So in the shadows this thing between the two of you remained.

And the team began to realize Spencer now had a thing with being late.

They also began to realize that you didn’t drink nearly enough coffee to warrant all of your disappearances.

JJ malignly embarked on the observation of the two of you during meetings, where you never met Spencer’s eye properly but unconsciously leaned your body towards him with each interaction. And all at once it made sense to her, why he was more drawn to his phone, departing from bed at night in preference of hushed ringtones, his growing fondness to late nights. They had never agreed to a proclamation of love, not even on the days she relaxed on his dingy apartment furniture. JJ figured it was his way of waiting on her to feel the same as he might’ve, when in reality it was Spencer’s way of making sure you still remained in his life.

It was a Tuesday when she let the structure of your sin unravel in the bleak corner of the hallway with Spencer, confessing “i know” and chastening him,

“How many people are you willing to hurt?”

With the unequivocal decision pinned to the front of his brain, Spencer told you he didn’t want to hurt anyone else during the last call the two of you shared at night. The words became lost from your ears as you feigned deafness, thinking about how stupid you were to take him in the only way you could, thinking one-third of him be adequate enough.

So you hung up before he said goodbye, and it was easy to do solely because if love couldnt suffice, hate would have to.

It was odd to overlook the call that came immediately after, your eyes unblinking at the white screen. The weeks after that only came to demonstrate that finding a home within someone was overrated, even if you knew who was behind the blocked numbers that caused your phone to viberate so often it would fall off your nightstand.

Little by little you figured you’d forget and move onto your own devices, exhausted by the ability that you still moved through life, yet experienced none of it without itching for him next to you. You lusted after the idea you’d wake up with the intensity of it all slipped from your mind, forgetting how his arms felt, skin, pulse, the sound of his voice, or the soft ringlets of his hair that continued to grow as you wilted.

A harder idea to get out of your head was if he was okay, followed by if he ever thought of you at the same time you thought of him. Did he know you wouldn’t have minded resigning to another team? Or that you considered doing it, even now?

Spencer spectated your life, the base of his throat becoming caught when he watched you get worse, speak less, become smaller. You’d shrunken within yourself. Months passed, with him having too many inquiries about you to Morgan, who always gave him a disappointing look, but told him about you each time. That you hadn’t been sleeping, internal clock stuck on keeping you up until the crack of dawn, your mind regressing backwards solely because of him. He gave up on leaving those stupid sticky notes in your books that said “call me!” or even the ones that asked if you were okay, asking if you able to stand on your own.

He watched you so long that he began to see you get better, more social as you expanded, becoming a part of the team again. You were different, but you were you again. It was a bitter pill to swallow when he took heed that your life no longer included him, keeping his lips sealed at any revelation that would show he was still devoted.

So it was dull-witted when he found himself outside the door of your apartment, swaying back and fourth because every night since the last call his world had been spinning faster and faster, trapping him inside as a prisoner. For weeks straight Spencer had awoken with the feeling of bile ready to rise out of his throat, your presence always lacking even if you controlled the beat of his heart.

He knocked. And thought about how angelic you looked when you answered, the confused expression not going unnoticed by him as a celebration sounded somewhere in his mind because you looked as if you weren’t expecting anyone else. And Spencer knows he’d collapse right then and there if you had been.

“I’ve been thinking— it’s not like I can really stop it— for months. It’s been around sixty eight days since we last spoke,” He began, taking you in, enstilling trust in his brain to get a photo of you so well that he could have it forevermore if you didn’t want him anymore. If that had ever been the case he’d leave. He’d leave the state if you asked him to.

“Why are you here?” You only had four words to say out loud, the rest buzzing around in your head safely, unauthorized to rise out of your throat.

“We never really said anything about it but I think we both knew how we felt.” Spencer leans closer just in time for his lips to land beside your ears, lighting a match inside your chest that had stayed extinguished for far too long.

“Speaking was never our strong suit, anyway.” You replied, your lips pursed while your arms took on a defensive stance, pushing him back gently.

You were shipwrecked inside, pushing him back again, this time firmly because you knew you couldn’t stop him from coming closer, even if you wanted to. You were at a standstill as his hands brought yours to his shoulders, drawing circles on your hip with the tips of his fingers. He was in your doorway asking if he was yours, not trying to eloquently wrap you around his finger.

Your limbs acted before your mind did, digits moving across his adam’s apple and holding tight, restricting his airflow like he had done to you so many times while he fucked you into the mattress. You gleamed at him with not much in your eyes, trying to remembering when you had tried to cross the thin line between love and hate for him. Spencer’s eyes were soft and adoring, a look which he had a tendency to give you. So you held tighter. And he did nothing, knowing you wouldn’t go far but willing to die in your hands if you truly wanted to.

“I don’t know if you deserve this anymore,” Your lips ghosted over his, reprimanding him that he’d forgotten that this had began in a game of adultery.

“I don’t.” Spencer’s voice came out as if he was parched and you had been refusing him of a drink. Your hands released his neck and instead grabbed at his jaw, allowing his lips to mend together with yours, unable to speak back.

“If I loved you any less, I’d be able to talk about it more.” He pulled away just enough to whisper those words.

“You love me?” You questioned, a bit timid in the way it came out.

“It’s more than that. I adore you. Worship, even.”

You felt yourself moving the both of you into your apartment, swapping the publicity of the hallway for the privacy closely afforded to you. Your bodies only got so far, pushing each other against the wall next to the enterence, Spencer’s hands helping to arch your body into his, hands pressing down the curve of your back.

You enjoyed feeling him subtly grind his hips against you while he let out little whimpers, remembering the way he was so vocal and sensitive, yet dominant when he laid between your legs. You drew in a quick breath as he bit down on your bottom lip hard enough to draw the red liquid that ran through your body, conflicted as to why it only drew you closer, want intensified.

“I missed you so much,” Spencer’s voice ghosted in the crook of your neck, kissing and sucking along your throat and collarbones, pushing the palm of his hand harshly against your damp cotton underwear, drawing a shiver from you. “Are lilacs still favorite flowers?”

His fingers played along your slit, the pads of his thumb pressing on your clit and rotating above the fabric, watching your hips jerk from the subtle pleasure.

“I think you missed me too,” Spencer held you, switching places so you now were encased between him and the wall, knowing that soon enough your knees wouldn’t be able to hold you up. His index and middle finger filled you up in a way only he could, the tips of them curving in his direction as he hit the bumpy ridge inside of you.

You held his shoulder, uncaring that your nails dug into the expensive button up he wore, admiring that he always preferred quality over quantity. Your face contorted in pleasure as his fingers only pumped faster inside of your vagina, only smirking at the sorry attempt of a nod you gave to answer him because he had rendered you speechless.

You felt the climb of your orgasm rise in your stomach, reaching all the way to the rest of your limbs, making them feel as if they were just static attached to your body until his fingers ceased, sensing how you clenched around them desperately. Your mouth opened, protests ready to fall out while he grasped the back of your knees, signaling you to jump so he could carry you to your bedroom.

“Why are you always such a tease?” You groaned, endearingly grabbing the hair at the nape of his neck.

“I can’t just let your greedy pussy swallow my fingers and cum from just that...” he tosses you into your sheets gently, leaning down to take your top off and throwing it somewhere to be rediscovered again.

He watches silently as you lift your hips off the mattress, panties sliding down your calves to your ankles, and finally off. Spencer gazes down at you, your jaw in his two hands, staring up with puppy eyes. He let a line of swears spring from his mouth, wondering why you looked so innocent when your hands were planted on his hips, licking the precum that made a wet patch on the side of his pants.

“Quite unfair that I’m the only one with my clothes off, don’t you think?” Your hands settled on his belt buckle, the jingle of metal filling the room as you undid the button to his slacks as well. Tugging him by the band of his boxers to lay on the bed with you, Spencer caught the cue and laid against the headboard. He trailed his left hand along your thighs, lifting you to straddle him as his right latched onto your breasts, squeezing.

“Please sit,” He said, taking a nipple into his mouth, “On my face.”

You sat in a slightly worried daze, Spencer catching the clue to just move you into the position. You found yourself facing the mirror at the foot of your bed, your ass in his face as he grabbed at your hips, trying to bring you higher and get a taste.

“Are you sure?” You apprehensively twisted your torso to eye him, taking note that the two of you had came across something you’d quite done before.

“Yes, I need you to.” Spencer reached his arm around, gently rubbing your clit, and feeling how your whole body relaxed from above him, as he repeated affirmations against your back.

You watched from the mirror, your ass propped up in his face and lips swollen. You could even see when you began the swivel of your hips into him. He didn’t need to say much else before you arched your back, planting your pussy right above his lips.

“You’re so pretty.” He whispered, before running his tongue flatly against your pussy.

Your hips jerked back and fourth, riding on the surface of his tongue that enveloped your clit, sucking on it harshly until he flatly ran it up. His fingers were back at work, touching the places where his tongue couldn’t reach. You determined that this position was now one of your favorites, your hands that were once placed on the tops of his thighs reaching for the bludge in his boxers.

You tried pulling them just far enough so you could begin to run your hands up and down his cock. Spencer’s tongue only assaulted your clit harder when you leaned down, allowing him a new angle so you could push him into your mouth, collecting the precum that had spilt, humming in delight.

Spencer couldn’t stop the thrusting of his hips upwards, burying himself deeper down your throat, both of your moans viberating off the atoms in your room. Your eyes wandered up as you watched, hypnotized at the reflection of you two. It made you wanna take his dick deeper, taking him to the back of your throat as you felt his cum ripple out.

Your orgasm only took a few more seconds to follow his, your moan muffled from your jaw expanded around his cock. Your hasty breaths harbored his while you saw stars. You were casted out of your stupor when you felt the palm of his hand rub circles into your ass, hand coming down in a smack.

“This fucking pussy has me whipped.” Spencer sighed, pressing a kiss exactly where his hand last struck.

When you positioned yourself back across his abdomen, you kneeled, kissing him. You felt him twitch under you from tasting himself on your tongue, reaching down to line up his cock to enter you.

Spencer stared up at you, his eyes wide as he took in the sight of you slowly descending your pussy on his cock. His hands traced the hickies that dawned on your chest, then to his on his lower stomach, watching how the two of you connected. These were marks of possession— ones that he could finally show off.

You rolled your hips against his, slowly circling them and allowing him to hit the most sensitive parts of you. You felt so much fuller than usual, the feeling taking your breath away. Nobody else could reach those heights that Spencer gave you. Maybe it was also because nobody else could occupy your mind like he could, either.

He pulled you down so the two of you could reunite your lips, wearing away at the callouses that had formed around your heart. His thumb drew slow circles on your clit, pulling your orgasm out so you could cum above him. It took a few more thrusts before he came inside you, continuing to fuck his seed back into you from below for just a while longer. When Spencer’s hips stilled, he kept inside, basking in the embodiment of you that wholly consumed him.

He silently traced the outlines of your features, your eye lids fluttering as he reached to them. His fingernails scratched your scalp im a rythem that lulled you into hazy exhaustion. You feel his stare on your face as it occurs to him that he was doomed from the start. You were a wonder to behold.

“Spencer?”

“Yes?”

“Did you forget all of the things I remember?”

“I don’t think I could even if I tried.”

masterlist

[frogsthoughtss]

The new spirit movie being made, simply put, isnt all that great (originally, I’d put trash, but I thought that was too strong a word to use on the internet.) Heres why: To start off, I’d like to give synopsis (summary??) of the first movie.

In the original, Spirit, the horse, is captured by the colonizers and separated from his herd. These colonizers attempt to “tame” him. Claiming all horses can be tamed, including stallions with enough power and control. The colonizers breach onto the horses land and are expanding westward, which is how they even get near the herd in which spirit is in. The only reason he even nears them is because he doesnt know who the colonizers are and is basically confused as to what they were. So now because theyve captured Spirit, they think that ‘oh he’s just a wild horse, we can tame him by showing him whos boss” they dont. Spirit is, as its said, an untamed soul. He CANT BE TAMED, or as Little Creek put it, shouldnt be tamed. Because his place is with his herd, running free. The eagle in spirit is a symbolism of the freedom. Whenever the eagle is there, it serves as a reminder not only to the audience, but to Spirit himself that he is a wild horse, a Free horse.

Now, Little Creek, the Lakota native american, shares ALOT of similarities to Spirit(which is where Im getting at). Natives as we know, have been treated terribly, in the most inhumane ways. Theres alot said about helping out poc, but ppl always seem to forget that Natives count as Poc and are barely, if ever, helped out. The fact that theyve been continuously pushed out of their areas and contained in small groups with others of their tribes, after having had their land stolen from them, is disgusting. Back to the point tho, Spirit. Little Creek and spirit share that, in the time which this movie took place. Theyre being pushed from their areas and ppl are trying to “tame them”.

Now, again with the history. This wasnt included in the movie but Natives back in the day, when they were younger, would be taken from their tribes and colonized. Theyd rid them of the rich culture and try to perpetuate the white, colonized ways. Colonizers would change their names to the basic boring meaningless names, forbid them from speaking their native tongue, and have them grow up as a white, eurocentric person would. In other words, colonizers take away what made them different and attempt to get them to become like them. Which, while not included in the movie, is important to know! Bc it shows the parallels between a wild stallion, and a native american: 1- taking their land until barely any is left for them. 2- ridding them of their ways of being, until yheyre the way that is seen as presentable to the majority (whites)3- attempting to tame them.

Natives were seen as animals. As feral creatures less then human and less than the dirt being walked on (WHICH IS NOT TRUE). The fact was, euros saw them as ppl that needed to be ‘educated’ on the ways of man, which they saw as the was of WHITE man. In trying to educate them, it can almost easily be seen as them trying to ‘tame’ them, as they would a horse. With strength, power, and Force.

So going on ahead, when spirit meets little creek, theyre two sides of the same coin, going through the same thing, but its seen differently primarily because one is human and yhe other, well, a horse. And its troubling. Because even tho Little creek escapes the center where they were both held at, it was an interest type situation. Spirit let himself be handled and captured afterwards by the Lakota, only because they held the same view that horses could be tamed. However, despite the attempts to tame Spirit, Little Creek realizes soon that even tho their methods of taming a horse are to show that they are equal to to the human and not below (such as the whites were trying to impose) he knows that spirit, a free stallion, isnt going to be tamed. He sets him free. Spirit is somewhat hurt, bc these humans, treated him kindly. And he saw how kindly they treated other horses. He was reluctant bc of how honest and humane they were, but left anyways bc spirit also knew that he wasnt going to let himself be tied. Even if it was by an honest group.

My point in all of this is that In Spirit:The Stallion of Cimarron, it beautifully captures the similarities of natives, and in this movie horses. Both were struggling to maintain their land and their freedom, and the new movie doesnt. Its no surprise that good representation in movies is little to none for poc, but its even less in native americans. If you can name 5-10 movies with good native rep, I’d like to know but I can assure you that at the top of your head, you probably couldnt come up with more than 2. So when I heard of this movie coming out, I had to know if it kept the relation between the natives and animals in it.

It did not. In fact, from what Ive seen (the trailer) it removed the natives and instead replaced them with hispanics (presumably mexicans as rodeos originate from spanish/mexican influences). Now, mexican/latino and hispanic rep is good! I completely encourage making it bc its good! However this was not the movie for that. They took away the aspect of how freedom isnt something that can just be taken. How, the liberty that comes with your own deeply rooted course, cannot just be changed- how it SHOULDNT be changed. And in this new movie they did. This hispanic girl, for some horse riding event somehow tamed spirit, whose ‘soul could not be tamed’. Like, did we watch the same movie directors???? Producers????Bc the point of spirit the stallion of Cimarron was that freedom should be maintained, not stripped for the wants of others simply because,according to them, its “beneficial” and goes along with what they consider to be the social norm. It was about the connection that humans could make with animals bc they didnt place them below them, but rather treated them as equals. And for that to be taken away??? I feel like having tamed spirit was the wrong call for them to make.

Overall, it appears that Spirit Untamed (its literally in the title cmon) stripped the basis of the original movie to create the basic horse girl ‘saves’ horse and is the only one who can ride him bc she’s the only one who can ‘understand’ his trauma. Like, watch any other horse girl movie and thats what you get. But spirit wasnt supposed to be that. It was sooo much more and the fact that they dumbed it down to that?? Smh

[nekomc]

scenario : you are shy and do not believe that you have a chance with them ft. o. tooru, b. koutarou, k. tetsurou (f!reader)

T. OIKAWA

➞  oikawa was quite easy to find, due to the constant swarm of girls that surrounded him

➞  you silently wished that you had the confidence they had to go up to him

➞  because you were so shy, you felt as though you didn’t have a chance to talk to him, let alone be with him

➞  so it really surprised you when oikawa came up to you in class one day

➞  ���yoohoo! you’re yn right? someone said that you’re good at this, can you help me?”

➞  you could only nod at first out of shock because oikawa just came up to you!! was this even real?

➞  it wasn’t that awkward, since oikawa was quite the talker, and knew how to fill the silence

➞  he was still attentive, though, and really appreciated your help

➞  so the next day, when he had trouble again, he came up to you once again for help

➞  this time, you broke out of your shell a little, contributing more to the conversation and throwing in a joke or two

➞  your heart swelled when oikawa would laugh and seemed interested in what you had to say

➞  oikawa started to come to you during class and breaks regularly, sparking up a conversation more often than asking for help

➞  you became more and more comfortable around oikawa, and you noticed that your confidence has grown the more time you spent with him

➞  one day, he invited you to a game, and of course you agreed, although you were a bit hesitant at first

➞  on the day of the game, you felt a bit out of place, since you didn’t know much about volleyball

➞  but you still tried your best to cheer him on 

➞  you try to meet him at the end of the game, but once you found him, he was already surrounded

➞  you immediately became disheartened and started to walk away

➞  but oikawa caught sight of you and called you over, asking you to wait for a bit, since he didn’t want to be rude to his fans

➞  when the crowd dispersed, he gave you a big smile and a hug

➞  “yn-chan, you came! did you have fun? you should come to our next game!”

➞  you felt a bit better as he asked you about the game, but he still noticed that you were feeling a bit down

➞  unfortunately, before he could ask about it, he had to leave

➞  the next day, he asked about it during class

➞  you felt uncomfortable talking about it with the chance of your classmates hearing, and told him so

➞  so you both decide to talk about it in the short period of free time he had after school

➞  “yn-chan, did something happen at the game?”

➞  what were you supposed to say? that you felt as though you weren’t confident? that you wished you had more courage to take the chance with him?

➞  instead, you said, “i was just tired after all the cheering, that’s all!”

➞  he saw through your lie, and he didn’t want you to continue feeling whatever negative emotion you were feeling, even though he wasn’t sure what it was yet

➞  his expression became serious

➞  “yn, don’t lie. what’s bothering you?”

➞  you didn’t want to lie again

➞  he put a lot of effort into building your friendship, and truly cared about your feelings

➞  so you told him the truth

➞  you told him how you used to feel as though being shy meant that you would never be able to be friends with him

➞  you wished that you had the confidence to come up to him to talk to him instead of the other way around, like his fans

➞  and you still felt as though the confidence you’ve gained through your friendship wasn’t enough to go to a relationship of beyond friends

➞  you didn’t realize that you had basically confessed to wanting something more than being friends until oikawa’s eyes widened

➞  “yn-chan, was that a confession?”

➞  you were too shocked at your own choice of words that you couldn’t speak

➞  he laughed, and said, “ah, you’re so cute! but i can’t believe you beat me to it!”

➞  “...beat you to it?”

➞  “to the confession. i like you too, yn.”

➞  before you could respond, he received a call from iwaizumi, telling him to hurry to practice

➞  you were left standing there, stunned

➞  oikawa called you after practice, and he told you that being shy isn’t something that has to be an obstacle

➞  he loved seeing you slowly breaking out of your shell as your friendship grew 

➞  he promised that he would still continue to help you build your confidence until you were comfortable with who you were

➞  “hopefully, i’ll be able to do that as your boyfriend, and not as just your friend. is that ok, yn-chan?”

➞  of course, you told him yes

➞  oikawa kept his promise throughout your relationship

➞  you were grateful to have him by your side, helping you become more comfortable and confident with your relationship with him, and most importantly, yourself

B. KOUTAROU

➞  you and bokuto began your friendship in the beginning in your third year

➞  you and bokuto shared a class together and you would often see him around at lunch as well

➞  hearing him talk was amusing sometimes, but you didn’t think much of it since you didn't think someone as cheerful as him would want to be friends with someone as shy as you

➞  you don’t talk much so carrying on a conversation wasn't a strong suit of yours 

➞  anyways….. One day during lunch your two best (and basically only friends)  suggested eating lunch in the classroom

➞  you bought snacks from the cafeteria for you and your friends and were on your way back to the classroom when suddenly you bumped into someone 

➞  startled and embarrassed that you weren't watching where you were going, you quietly apologized to the person you bumped into 

➞  you looked up and noticed it was bokuto from you class

➞  “OH!!!! Uhhhhh y/n-san right? From my class? Don’t worry about it !!!!! I should have looked where i was going too. OH COOL are those (insert snack)???? I love those!!”

➞  you felt overwhelmed from his very loud and friendly personality and gave pretty vague responses 

➞  you excused yourself and headed back to your friends 

➞  to your surprise, bokuto began speaking to you at school more often and frequently catches you at lunch 

➞  “HEY HEY HEY y/n-chan, do you wanna come with me to the cafeteria to buy some (favorite snack)?”

➞  after that you had a really nice friendship with bokuto and began joining him at lunch with akaashi 

➞  you enjoy the balance between someone so chill as akaashi and someone as cheerful as bokuto 

➞  bokuto might have been loud, but he never once made you uncomfortable or gotten you into situations that would make you nervous   

➞  You didn't talk much, so he talked for the both of you 

➞  After a while you start developing a crush on him 

➞  You loved the way he made you feel less insecure about your shyness

➞  However, you still felt like you could never reveal those feelings to him

➞  You felt as thought bokuto was someone who would be better off with someone who was as bright and cheery as himself, someone who would match his energy all the time and not hold him back from being himself 

➞  You felt like if you were with him it would just burden him 

➞  However you were dead wrong 

➞  One day your teacher had asked bokuto had asked bokuto to stay back for lunch so that they could talk about his grade, so you went ahead and met up with akaashi 

➞  You ended up sharing your feelings and insecurities about bokuto and when you were done, akaashi didn't say anything and was just staring behind you

➞  You turn around to see bokuto and you began to feel very very anxious 

➞  Akaashi got up and excused himself

➞  You refused to meet eyes with bokuto as you were starting to mentally prepare for rejection but instead you were met with a “OH THANK GOD Y/N-CHAN.  Ummmmmm ive actually liked you for quite a while now!!!!!!! I really really like you but youre just so quiet sometimes that i was pretty sure i was just annoying you this whole time and you were just too nice to say anything!!”

➞  Oh… well you definitely werent expecting that

➞  After this you guys had a talk, happy that your feelings were mutual 

➞  Bokuto re assured you sweetly that he didnt think any of those things you thought about yourself 

➞  He might not be the smartest student, but he was self aware and knew that sometimes he get really out of hand

➞  He would tell you that being around really helps to keep him calm and isnt bothered at all by your shyness or how little you spoke sometimes 

➞  Being around you really taught him to stop and listen to people, since he had to pick up on your non verbal cues in your friendship so that he wouldn't ever accidentally make you uncomfortable 

➞  You guys might have had very different personalities, but you're definitely the rocks that holds him down and are there to help him through every one of his mood swings (which he loves you so much for)

➞  In the end you both were insecure, but with your growing relationship and with how sweet bokuto treated you , you never really had the time to ever feel like you weren't enough for him 

K. TETSUROU

➞  midterms were coming up, and you’ve been trying to study these past few nights

➞  keyword : trying

➞  the more you stayed up, the harder it was to study the next day

➞  it was also hard to stay up in class

➞  kuroo noticed it in class, the way your head sometimes slipped past your hand, your lids visibly getting heavy as you almost doze off

➞  and one day, you do. doze off, that is

➞  he couldnt help but find you cute, but he also felt a bit bad, since knew what it was like to stay up, studying, and having to go through the day with little to no sleep

➞  so the next day, he decided to bring you a caffeinated drink (imagine that he brought you your preferred drink, like coffee, or an energy drink)

➞  you were already in class, getting your things out

➞  you looked down to pick something up from your bag, and when you looked back up, kuroo was standing in front of your desk, a drink in his hand

➞  you both stared at each other for a few seconds, both unsure of what to say

➞  kuroo was the first to speak

➞  “i noticed that you’ve been like, falling asleep. Wait i swear i wasn’t trying to be creepy or anything, i just happened to see it-” 

➞  he stopped and just placed the drink on your desk with a smile

➞  “anyways, i hope this helps.”

➞  you smiled back and thank him quietly before he walked away

➞  throughout the day, you drank it, and it helped you get through the day

➞  you felt too shy to go up to him and say thank you in person, so instead, you took a sticky note and wrote a note on it, placing it on his desk during your last break

➞  the next day, he brought you the drink again, with a sticky note attached to it

➞  on the sticky he wrote ~no need to thank me, you seemed like you needed it! if you ever want to study together just let me know, i’ll keep these drinks coming your way ;)~

➞  over the next few days kuroo would keep placing drinks on your desks with sticky notes that had chemistry jokes or pick up lines

➞  some of them were honestly really bad,,, but you couldn’t help but laugh 

➞  “what did one charged atom say to the other? i got my ion you” 

➞  “did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? it went OK”

➞  “do you have 11 protons? Cause you're sodium fine”

➞  “forget hydrogen, you're my number one element”

➞  (kuroo would stare at you from his desk just to see you laugh ) 

➞  one day you placed a sticky note on kuroos desk, accepting his offer to study a little bit during lunch,, so you two began seeing each other during that time

➞  you were still really shy around him, but thankfully kuroo didn’t mind a quiet study session with you, and he was really helpful!

➞  after a while you realized that you started to grow a crush on kuroo 

➞  he was a little intimidating at first, and looked like the sort of guy that messed around with girls (he certainly wasn’t shy to playfully tease you)

➞  but he was honestly a really kind person, who was intelligent and cared a lot about his friends 

➞  you also admired how hard he worked to keep up his grades and be volleyball captain at the same time 

➞  because of this you felt,,, very inferior to him

➞  he was attractive, smart, kind, friendly, and volleyball captain 

➞  compared to him you didn’t really feel like you were anything special

➞  you felt as though your crush would get you nowhere because you felt like kuroo deserved to be with someone who was way better than you 

➞  you felt like he was way out of your league 

➞  but one day during one of your lunch study sessions kuroo turns to you and starts talking 

➞  he seemed really flustered for some reason and said “ m-my favorite attractive force is van der waal’s force. Can you feel it? I'll move closer if you can't”

➞  you laughed at his silliness, until he actually went ahead and sat closer to you

➞  you were shocked and felt yourself grow flustered at his closeness 

➞  the both of you stayed silent until he spoke up and said 

➞  “hey y/n, i've been meaning to say this for a little while but, i like you” 

➞  well,,,, you certainly weren’t expecting that 

➞  you weren't sure of what to say, so you just looked at him like :o

➞  kuroo panics and starts to talk his mouth off

➞  “im sorry if you don't feel that way, i don't want to ruin our friendship so please forget i even said that-”

➞  you quickly shook your head, stopping him

➞  “no, no, I'm sorry, i was just surprised, i actually like you too.”

➞  when the test came around, you both get a really high score

➞  you both excitedly showed each other once you got the chance to during a break

➞  you were super proud of each other, seeing how all of the hard work paid off

➞  the upcoming weekend, the two of you went to buy drinks and walk around as a treat

➞  as you were walking with kuroo, you realized how happy you were to be with him

➞  he still continued to tease you endlessly but respected your boundaries and knew when to draw the line

➞  he was always attentive, caring, and mature, and always managed to make you smile

➞  he reminded you of your worth through little actions, and you were grateful to have someone like him by your side

requested by @teasbees-knees

[heyitsyn]

Nekoma!Manager!Male!Reader

a/n: never written male reader before but this was a funny request and i really do see the irony in this

anon request:  

absolutely LOVED your seijoh hcs! you said you wanted to do the other schools so i thought, how about nekoma but with a MALE manager bc it would be so ironic to have a male god as their manager rather than a goddess that they always talked about!! thank youuuuuuu!!!!!!!

yall the nekoma fanchant is literally stuck in my head

hehe uwu lets step on the pedal

ong jesus take the wheel pls

so basically,,,

being the nekoma manager is a MESS

lets say youre a second year and was only the manager bc you were begged into taking the job

like wouldnt leave you alone and pestered you 25/8, screaming about needing their own god manager

also just because, you are fairly popular and you have your own fanclub of girls in nekoma and they thought it would give them more exposure and more chances w girls :’)

tora was actually the first who came up to you and begged you to be their manager during class one day bc they are in need of one but they arent allowed to have a girl manager so he turned to having a handsome male

‘I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY IT HAS TO BE A BOY’

‘so you wont be all over him abd be distracted w showing off’

‘WHO ARE YOU TO QUESTION MY SE-’

‘tora, please’

initially, you refused bc you just couldnt be bothered to be part of a club where you basically babysit a bunch of overgrown children

but kenma, your childhood friend, was the team’s last attempt to get you in since kuroo mentioned that he was the only one you listened to

‘kenma, babie, i love you, but i am your friend, not your nanny. so unless i am paid, i will not waste my time taking care of of all of you. especially that chicken head’

‘y/n, yaku is on his last leg here. we really need a manager and we need it fast’

‘you went for years without one so why do you need it?’

‘we’re scared that nekomata would just drop dead any minute now’

‘yanno? im surprised hes even still alive with yall’

‘....... ill show your fangirls that picture of you when we were 5 when-’

‘okay, kenma. rude about the blackmail but okay. dont expect me to be the maid or anything’

nope, you were actually the maid

and the cook

and the nanny

and the laundry person

the everything

it baffles you that kuroo is about to graduate next year yet he still doesnt know the difference between fabric softener and detergent

the amount of times you sent him to pick up more and only to send him back when he ended up buying 2 softeners or 2 detergents

‘they all look the same!’

‘kuroo tetsuro cAN yOu NoT rEAd?!’

ngl i still mix them up sometimes

during matches, youre basically their mother, their nanny, and nekomata’s notetaker, and their personal cheerleader

naoi, the other coach guy, and coach nekomata has adopted you as a son bc of how hard you work and the less the burden is on them

like your notes about their playing percentages really works and helps them and added with the chores you do for the team?

godsend

also, lets put your popularity in here

you dress with a white shirt and zip up your red nekoma jacket with your red sweatpants so you look like one of the players, right?

but how come every time they have practice, youre the only one with the fangirls in the bleachers?

youre literally wearing the same thing as them yet youre the only one who gets looked at?!

even kuroo, who was quite good looking, doesnt have that many girls pining after him yet you, resident anti-tryhard, seems to get the female population to fall for you just by doing the simplest things like breathing

youd be doing normal things like using your whistle as you hold a clipboard and girls would be screeching at you 

‘omg m/n is so hot!’

‘hes just !!!! uuggghhhh’

‘siri how to be a whistle?’

i am uncomfortable with the energy we have created in the gym today

tora complains about it all the time bc first, they cant have a beautiful manager, two, they have a pretty boy who’s taking the attention away

‘SO NOT FAIR! M/N, TURN UGLY!’

you bonk him on the head in anger and threaten to quit all the time

‘say that again and you’ll be filling your own water bottles tomorrow’

but in truth though, the guys really do appreciate you and everything you do

they know that you balance them with your personal life and classes and still make time to do their laundry and make them food

so they have started easing off the burden and weight off of your shoulders

at first, you were very suspicious when they told you that they already filled their water bottles

‘huh? i didnt think you even knew where the water fountain was’

‘wym weve been doing this for years’

-kuroo

then, you heard kuroo tell the others to put their sweaty jerseys in the basket in the corner of the room and for the last person to carry it to the laundromat

‘um, sir, we dont want to have another pink jersey disaster again’

you stopped inuoka from lugging the basket but he shook his head and gave you a wide grin

‘nope, m/n-senpai! i’ll carry it for you! i’m strong, see?’

he flexed his right arm muscle while holding the basket with one hand but it was too heavy so it fell to the ground, spilling out all the practice jerseys

you sighed before bending down to pick them up and babie inuoka’s eyes watered, thinking you were mad at him

‘gomen, senpai’

he whispered but you looked up at him from your position

his watery eyes made you frantically stand up and wipe his tears with the pads of your thumbs

‘inu-kun, why are you crying? you said you were strong right? dont cry over silly things, okay?’

he nodded and you were still confused as to why he was so emotional but you patted his fluffy hair 

‘now cmon, lets go take these to the shop’

unbeknownst to you, the team was actually seething from behind the wall

naturally, as a,,, manager,, you became their,,, energy?? 

like the slightest affections from you made their health bar increase tenfold and they didnt necessarily have any intentions towards you

you were like,,, their own,,,, happy drug?? like a human seratonin??

just the fact that they had someone like you to fall back on and give them love when they lost or something

it was comforting

usually it was just the team’s responsibility to throw away their own sadness and comfort each other

but with you,,,

they could easily cry with no fear and you would comfort them until they didnt need to be comforted anymore

eventually, they ended up straight out competing against each other on who would get the most affection

clearly, inuoka used his first year card and everyone knew you were soft for your kouhais

like you would just grab them and hug them because of how cute they were

uwu especially lev?! 

he may be a giant but hes just a really REALLY REALLY BIG CAT

;)

LEV LIVES TO HUG YOU

like the mans is beanstalk level of height and despite the age difference, he just picks you up and cuddles you and youre just like ‘okay, let it out babie’

DKSFJSLD ANYWAYS

you are always a hot topic w all the students in nekoma and even some in other schools

like during training camp, bro you making everyone question their sexuality

omg akaashi and you are probably the prettiest people there and can i just say how everyone cant focus on a practice match bc youd be laughing together or something and they havent heard anything so beautiful??

and the kitties get really defensive over you and hiss at anyone who even tries to approach you

hiss hiss

DKJFSLKDFJDWHAT IF EVERYONE IN THE TEAM IS BI

OMG WHAT

like the little touches from you make them so red and confident gays like kuroo and bokuto call you out on them and tease you 

while the quiet ones like akaashi and kenma are just blushing and stutter and you tease them instead?

*inhale* BOI *exhale*

the uke and seme dynamic is real on this one

however, there are times when the turned tables

there was that one day that you were seriously questioning if bokuto wore leggings or just really high knee pads and you cornered him after baths to just figure it out

like our poor confident boi turned to a shy babie and shrunk against the wall, covering his red face

‘y-y/n-kun’

‘bo-san, i just want to know’

DKFSJLKDFJFJSDKIM DYING OVER HERE LIKE PLEASE I DONT OWN Y/N

after seeing the smidge of skin at the top of the kneepad, you nodded and brushed your fingertips over the flesh

‘hmm~ so i was right~’

FROM THEN ON POOR BABIE OWL COULDNT LOOK AT YOU THE SAME!!!!!!

it worried everyone so much when bokuto would glance at you in the sidelines and he would competely miss akaashi’s set bc his eyes would focus on you rather than the ball

like he absolutely couldnt take his eyes off of you and when you do turn to meet his eyes, he shrinks back and looks away, completely missing your amused smirk

now, your kitties werent happy about that

theyre very protective of you and they felt that this owl could snatch you right up and fly away

and kuroo, being the captain and the head of the familia, took it upon himself and dragged you to the back of the gym while the others were practicing

kurat pushed you against the wall and basically kabedonned you

KUROO IS LIKE 6′2 OR 190 CM I CANT

‘you seem close with bokuto, l/n. almost, too,, close’

an amused smirk etched itself on your lips and you pressed a hand on his chest

‘oya~? captain-san, am i being punished?’

SFDKLFSJKLDFJL SIR Y/N IS SUPPOSED TO RADIATE SEME ENERGY BUT HE ISNT AND I CANNOT-

ofc he was taken aback by your flirty attitude but he smirked and softly brushed away your bangs that slightly covered your eyes

‘hmm~~ depends, y/n-kun. are you going to be a good kitty and stay with the clowder? or are you going to stay with those pesky chickens~?’

DKFLSJDKFJSL BRO DID YOU KNOW A GROUP OF CATS IS CALLED A CLOWDER?! I DIDNT EVEN KNOW THAT BUT I HAVE A FEELING KUROO WOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT BC HE BIG BRAIN

you chuckled and gently wrapped your arms around his shoulders

but your hand grabbed the hair at the back of his head and harshly pulled him to be closer to you

your eyes blinked innocently but your sharp teeth were shown from your malicious grin

‘ive always been a bad kitty, captain. so i dont care what you say because you cant tell me what to do~’

👀👀👀👀

imagine what happens next bc i cant write something unholy

anyways

so you learned that tetsu CAN in fact tell you what to do and you avoided everyone else which caused them to wonder but one look at your neck

well,,,,,

you got attacked by a cat 

a cat named tetsu

SKDFLJSDKFJSLKUROO IS THE ONLY SEME YOU CLASH WITH

THE OTHERS ARE ALL UKE

EVEN BEEFY BUFF CAKE BOI BO

but you toned it down to not be attacked again

ngl the whole team was all jealous and they even whined to kuroo about it

‘thats not fair!!!!’

‘stop abusing your role as captain!!!!’

they hated the fact that kuroo got you first so they all rally over to keep you away from him

like baby kenma would nudge you over and bring him to sit next to you, saying he needs you to help him with a certain level

‘kenny, im not sure how to play this game’

‘hmm,,,, youre a quick learner, y/n, and youre really quick with your fingers so you could pass to the next level’

*insert lenny face*

‘oya? and you would know how, kenny?’

and baby kenny would fluster a little before glomping to your side and burying his face into your shoulder to hide away

OR

the first years would absolutely use their kouhai priviledges and bring you over to help them with ‘homework’

‘you guys realize i passed because kuroo would beat me into studying right?’

‘but senpai! you mustve learned a thing or two in your classes!’

‘bold of you to assume i was even awake in my classes’

but they still make you spend hours trying to help them which turn into just messing around 

KSDLFJSDKFJD MOVIE NIGHTS YOU GUYS THATS IT!!

there isnt really a single calm moment in your guys’ practice

poor you have already started seeing lot of gray hairs

you literally decline every single confession just because youre too busy for a date and you cant handle having to take care of another person

its like youre dating the whole team!!

soon the entire school have just accepted the fact that you are just simply not in the market anymore just because you joined the club

not because youre actually taken by a girlfriend but youre taken by a bunch of teenage males

imagine how that works out

anyways

youre not really the best volleyball player out there but you know a thing or two

well,,, its more like your stamina doesnt allow you to play long bc a single lap literally destroys your lungs

but you still know when yaku complains about having a shaky receive

‘oh, momo-senpai, youre bending your knees too low so gravity is pushing down on your-’

ugh chemistry i hate it

despite your lack of athletic or physical skills, they still appreciate you for your keen eyes, your caring nature, and your overall looks that give them motivation to play harder to impress you personality :)

all the boys love you

and tbh

you love your boys too

even though it was a blackmail caused event,

you still would’ve joined otherwise

this is kinda short but its going to be longer if i find some plots or somebody asks for a plotline that i can write about for a long time

anyways

byeeeee :)))))

a/n: this isnt exactly the best manager one ive written but ill probably find a good prompt for this or again as stated ^^ someone sends in an ask for it and ill write a story for our favorite male manager :’D

[limelocked]

some backstory: basically look at this post then work on the assumption that phil is like Ancient/ages slower than humans/players

phil meets babyblade for the first time (brought to you largely unedited from discord messages)

---

thinking about phil being a traveller, walking or flying from town to town trying to find the new place to stay for like 100 years as a cryptid, passing thought a town, well developed with electrical streetlights not yet too common for testificates or players. The day pass slowly into night and with an unwillingness to take into an inn he settles to finding a cave or tree to camp in.

Techno is at that point perhaps half Phils height but still built shockingly strong for a child and he knows well not to disturb armed people sleeping in the woods. The dew clings to his hooves and fur as he inspects the man sleeping among the leaves and his wings. Phil is already awake, watching back from under the shade of his hat, seeing this upright, scar covered, piglet inspect him. Phil slowly moves as if he's just woken up and techno scampers away

phil knows about pigmen, hes never seen one of course but he's heard plenty about them. Theres villager texts with myths about them and its generally accepted that they're the cause of ruined structures though different cultures seem to disagree on if they caused the ruin or caused the building now in disrepair. He asks in town about pigmen but they only talk about what a pest the zombie pigmen and piglins that come through the resident portal are, the undertone of hate matching that of those that theorize towards the more... evil side of the pigmen. 

 They have heard nothing about any pigmen in the area, for all the town knows, and for all that most people know. They dont exist and they might never have

So he goes back to the forest and "accidentally" leaves some food and trinkets at the food of the tree, barely getting any sleep as he waits for the little creature to arrive. And he does. And with caution the piglet studies the food and items for a while, freezing with every movment of the wind through phils great folded wings. Techno takes some of the food, not all of it, and none of the items even though a cheap dagger seemed to make him hesitate on that choice

It goes on for a few nights, phil sleeping through most of them but knowing who it was that took the gifts and left the little napkin neatly still covering what he didnt take and who he found one morning returning with a handful of berries as a return gift. Phils back fucking hurt sleeping in the tree but he'd gotten invested now so what're you gonna do yknow?

Its noon after a week and a day and phil is half nocturnal because of this little thing coming to take and give like trade under his tree. He's almost falling asleep when bushes move and he's back on (exhausted) high alert. He doesnt move. Under him theres no napkin or items or food this time, he just needed a nap, but that doesnt bother the pink spot down on the ground from moving closer and inspecting the spot.  He's disappointed but returns shortly after with more berries and a messy leg of lamb. He thinks, as phil will never find out, that he's stolen everything this stranger has in terms of food so he has to give back some that he's gotten himself right? its only polite? 

"did you get the lamb by yourself?" to say that techno jumped out of his skin would be an underestimation. 

He didnt freeze but instead, just as cautiously as he seemed to do everything, hunched down into a fighters stance knowing well that the man with wings above him could easily catch him "dont worry mate" phils tone became softer, testing the bounderies of this child "-im not going to hurt you if that's what youre worried about"

he didnt change positions other than to look up slowly to.... g- glare? was this little pig kid GLARING at him?! what was that gonna do?? who would be intimidated by this adorable little fuck?!?! Phil would admit it every time anything even remotely related came up later that he laughed, i mean who wouldnt? hed liken it to a puppy glaring you down and how could that be taken seriously its just cute if anything 

techno, covered in scars of battles both with people and with nature, looked at this winged man in almost disbelief. phil, the nicknamed angel of death who seemingly could never die himself, was almost falling off the branch he'd been using as a bed for a week clutching his stomach as he laughed.

"what?!" the impatient, small, voice piped up after a few seconds "whats so funny!?" the seriousness both stopped phil in his tracks and Didnt Help At All. the tone was serious and.. desperate. it caught him off guard and finally his balance fails and he falls, unfurling his wings to catch himself and kicking up leaves and dust from the ground before his adorable little thief 

 "you're a piglet, you couldnt beat me up so stop looking like it" this was the closest the two had ever been, still a few meters apart but it was apparent that techno had only just realized just how Tall phil was compared to him, and how imposing his wings were when stretched to their full width

"heehh i could totally kill you" fake it til you make it, a strategy that had won him many battles before and it had only failed him.... a few times....  "oh could you?" while techno sounded cocky and serious phil was playful and in the ears of this kid, taunting  "mm.. ya" but phil didnt fail to notice how easily a child had threatened murder

-

A month can go quick and a conversation can go slow. A festival had been set up in the time that it took the two to finish their talk under the tree, or so techno would have you believe. There had been three weeks of food being left by both parties and playful banter countered by genuine threats becoming less so by the meeting. Phil had gifted techno, who'd in exchange given his name, the dagger he'd looked at that first night. The exchange was there sure but phil had also had to joke about techno not being able to kill him with bare hoof hand things, he'd need, yknow, a weapon

They sat then, that meeting in the woods a month after their first encounter, sharing food in relative silence. "-and you dont have any parents im guessing or else you'd not be hanging out with this stranger" phil said absentmindedly, a retort to his own lack of family

"fuck off"

stunned. he looked at techno shocked not only at the swear but at the nerve he'd apparently struck, "sorry mate- didnt mean.." he trailed off, studying the pigs reaction but there was none, he'd just kept eating... he watched for a moment more before debating taking another bite of his own food but, no, no he could be stupid "that means you can travel more though right?" a recovery, but only a stepping stone

"mm, guess so yeah" bait effective

"have you been to to the north much?" "... nah.. mostly around here and west" there was a long pause before the eventual "i think" that phil had come to expect at this point, though this time it wasnt accompanied by an equally unsure "im pretty sure"

"well im leaving town, could come with me?"

[mifhortunach]

just to close out even further, and really have this qualify as a theme month,,; Al Pacino April 2022 huh

I’d say like… a mixed success on the whole imo.

Out of the total 43 possible films that I actually bothered to add to the spreadsheet (this is unfortch including a bunch of movies that I added back in later but were previously on my ‘extra credit’ spreadsheet - so I think I was originally working with a total of 36 or so) - I watched 13, which is around 1 film every 2-3 days or so.  Which sounds better than it is, or like,, smth like that ig. Including all those godfathers that I watched back in March, as well as Gucci, this makes 17/43. Pretty dire looking now huh!

This poorness is a bit bc I was working and trying to actually see other people, and losing it, AND didn’t have fckn wifi for most of the month, so I think these things maybe pushed the possible number down a fair bit :/

also I think that maybe smth like this requires a bit more planning than I actually bothered to put into it to begin with, which didn’t help with things. Easiest example of this being that I couldnt settle properly on if I wanted to do it chronologically, or what would be the links between each watch, beforehand at all really, as well as like, the poor time management ig. Ex. Of that? My half thought out idea of watching needle park & Irishman next to each other to close out, and failing to remember that one of those is about 3 fckn hours, and he’s only been in about 3 movies that have been less than 100min!!

All that said, I think I got a pretty good overview of most decades, certainly almost all of the 70s & 80s, though the late 90s and 00s remain blindspots. 

(I avoided the mid-late 00s a bit honestly, because a lot of those looked, yk,,, fucken awful.) 

I liked the majority of the films I watched tho ngl, and after a point I did start to feel as though I was getting a better idea of what he was at at any point, type of projects that he actually was interested in*, and unfortch, maybe a better idea of film/what a ‘strong’ film performance maybe should look like /shrug

(*imo! Mostly seem to be ones that have this weird tonal flip between the start of the film and the end, theres like a switch flipped for the final third which mostly makes them depressing, but maybe thats just me thinking that yk, projecting smth thats not actually there)  

Don’t know if I actually reached a conclusion with this, but that seems reflective of the idea lbr ! lol Will I do this next year?? Who knows, I’m kinda hoping not, if only bc the programming looks brutal. 

[mammoney-honey]

Summoning Circles: What to Offer the Brothers GN!MC

MC doesn’t need to set up anything to summon them since they have their pact but sometimes its just nice to add a bit of drama. It’s also a good way to get the brothers to accept Just Because gifts. So what would would MC lay out as an offering for their favorite demon in their pentagram?

Lucifer

Lucifer is hard to get gifts for because hes a man of few words and fewer guilty pleasures

MC does their best to keep an eye out for things he does like and finally sets things up when they feel that Luci needs a bit of a break

They mostly offer things that would make for a good date night but with one small exception: special gourmet dog treats 

He won’t admit it, he says Cerberus is just a well trained guard dog, but that big boy gets only the best and MC knows that Lucifer will appreciate the gesture

The rest is all about setting the mood so Lucifer couldn’t possibly say no to staying

The first thing to accomplish this is the finest bottle of hellfire aged wine, a special request put through to Diavolo for whatever he thought Lucifer would like most

And to accompany a good drink you need some good food as well. A charcuterie board supplied with recommendations from Barbatos and Luke. The little guy should be called a mouse rather than a dog with how much he loves cheese. It took a long time for him to stop talking about it

One of the things that MC looks most fondly on of their time with Lucifer was quiet nights in listening and dancing to new music. They didn’t always share the same tastes but they were always willing to give it a go

So MC would find a vinyl, the only thing Lucifer would listen to the purest that he is, of their most recent favorite song or band so that they could share it with him

The last thing offered is that which Lucifer would want above all else as his own, MC

They can think of nothing else that would gain Lucifer’s attention more than offering their full and complete self. His pride could never allow him to deny taking MC when they offer themselves so willingly

He appears in full demon form, he can’t think of who would be ballsy enough to try and summon him and he has to pull back on his full power once he sees its MC

“MC, my dearest love, the pageantry is appreciated but overall unneeded. All you ever have to do is call my name, all I wish is to hear my name on your lips. But now that I’m here lets make sure you are screaming it”

Mammon

He is another one who is hard to gift things to but for the opposite reason as Lucifer. He likes too many things, wants everything and so it makes it impossible to tell what would actually mean something to him

MC tries their best to lay out things that will show how much they love and appreciate their favorite demon

Money of course is the first thing that is set out but not just spare Grimm or human cash

No, MC will put gift cards out for Mammon’s favorite places or for a date that they can have together. It feels more personal that way and they hope it shows that they pay attention to the things he likes

Mammon has a wardrobe to rival Asmo’s but he insists that it all has to do with his job as a model. Gotta keep up appearances and all that yanno. Hes just a label whore though and everyone knows it

He also just melts at the idea that MC might be thinking of what he would look good in so if they put out a new outfit or accessory, even if its just new sunglasses or a belt, he just about explodes

He will scoff and say that hes not sure if human styles are really his thing but of course puts whatever it is on quickly

Next would be a very special edition of the TSL dvds, a directors cut that even Levi couldn’t get his hands on. He has watched it with MC so many times he could practically recite it but they were always borrowing from Levi so it was about time to start wearing out their own copy

The last two things are more personal, something that shows just how much MC thinks of and misses being with him

The first of that is MC’s favorite set of pictures they took with Mammon, a silly photo booth strip that captured their first kiss. MC had surprised him on the first snapshot and it showed a progression of him getting redder and redder before finally kissing them back

Lastly is a page from their diary, as intimate an offering as they can possibly give. Its from a day where the longing for Mammon was at its strongest and filled with sweet words of how much they miss their first man

Mammon is freaked out at first thinking he is being summoned by another witch and is confused to see MC before taking it all in

“H-hey you don’t have to go through all this. I mean of course The Great Mammon won’t say no to the the things he deserves but ... b-but you only ever need to say my name, there is no where I’d rather be than with you”

Levi

Levi has a bad habit of just buying whatever he wants but considering that he has so many fandom’s its not hard to find some piece or another he doesn’t have 

MC feels like his brothers don’t give much thought to his gifts though, just typing in a name they know and getting whatever they find. They want to give him something more personal and can’t just be bought and shipped in two days

MC starts to watch a lot of craft, cooking and cosplay YouTubers to try and put everything together themselves. It felt more genuine that way at least to them

MC tries to keep things diverse, hitting a couple of Levi’s favorites but mostly avoiding anything Ruri related since they are afraid of messing it up lmao

Instead they focus on the anime’s and games that they watched and played together. Almost like a collection of inside jokes that they are using to summon him

The first thing MC sets out is a prettily decorated plate of macrons, doing their best to replicate the colors and flavors described in the one bakery time management game they always played

MC also went through Levi’s super secret fanfiction accounts I will fight you he is totally a fic writer because he has so many self inserts and fix it fics  and wrote out comments for every single thing he had written. They printed them out not because they didn’t think he read them but to show that they were the ones that left them

Along with the comments MC also created art for Levi’s most beloved OC, creating cute enamel pins of them in chibi form with the cannon character he paired them with

 The last two things came as a sort of combo, a couples cosplay from the romance anime they had watched together. The protagonist had been a shut in otaku who had found his soulmate when they were reborn into his world and Levi had latched onto him immediately 

It had taken a lot of blood sweat and tears trying to get both of the outfits cannon perfect but damn it MC was not going to settle for anything less

At one point they forgot they were making it for Levi and just got caught up in the the drama that was finding the perfect buttons and trim color

Overall they were so proud of the sewing skills they just wanted to call on him the moment they were done so he could see but they got a hold of themselves so they could set up what they had planned

Levi was summoned into the circle still wearing his headset and fingers tapping at a controller that had been left behind

His demon side comes out at having been cost a serious match from the sounds of it but his anger turns to confusion at seeing MC and then into wide eyed amazement at all of the things in front of him

He started to gush about every single thing he saw before he realized that MC was there beaming at him 

“You went through all this trouble to prove that you aren’t a normie and yet you summon me this way?? J-just say my name like you’re supposed to! I kind of like hearing you say it anyway ...”

Satan

Satan surprisingly doesn’t like being the center of attention and thus doesn’t really like surprises or receiving gifts. He also doubts that anyone understands him enough to give him what he wants cocky ass that he is

The idea for the things to set out in his summoning circle came to MC when discussing love potions with Satan and Solomon one day. They were talking about how smell plays such a strong part and Satan let slip some of the things he might smell after MC listed some of theirs

So while MC doesn’t have much, well any, experience in magic or potions they do want to try to stir up those feelings those smells produce in Satan

The first thing he had said came as a surprise to no one, the smell of parchment and ink

MC used each of them as their own separate offering on the pentagram. They used a fancy new calligraphy quill dipped in green ink that matched his eyes to write a long love note for him

The ink was still wet on the parchment that they set down and left the quill and remaining ink as the second gift

The next thing he mentioned was another one MC expected: tea leaves

So MC just walked into their local tea shop and let their nose lead the way. Anything that caught their attention or made them want to keep smelling they bought, creating their own special blend just for Satan

It wasn’t necessarily something that Satan would say for himself but MC had started to burn different candles in their room when he would come to rant when he was angry, trying to find a scent that he could associate with being calm when they helped him work through the anger

Whatever candle seemed to work the best is the candle that MC sets out for him. Probably something woodsy, pine or balsam or even sandalwood. It brings back good memories for MC, kissing all those worries of his away and hopes it does the same

The last item is one that made MC blush when they heard Satan admit it, he had liked the scent of their shampoo

He hadn’t said that specifically but he had closed his eyes and described a scent that he couldnt place but that he adored and when MC was taking their shower that night it clicked 

It might have been a little lame, leaving a bottle of shampoo out for Satan but MC knew that when he realized what that scent he loved so much was that he would get the cutest blush

They weren’t disappointed when they summoned Satan. He hid his shock of being summoned this way well, taking his time to walk around the circle and examine each offering. He immediately knew where they had gotten the inspiration and teased them about being such a sap

He stopped when he got to the shampoo though, not sure how that fit into the equation until he smelled it. It dawned on him and there was that blush that he tried to hide by turning his face away

“You always did like to make things difficult on yourself didn’t you? I’m only ever a call away for you kitten. Now come here and let me really breath you in, you’re simply intoxicating to me and I can’t stay away.”

Asmo

Asmo is never shy about when he doesn’t like gifts that people have given him but he has only ever cherished what MC has gotten him. Every small trinket and gift he has on full display in his room and he will wear something that MC got them when he misses them the most

He also will do it when he wants to bother his brothers and show off that MC simply lavished him in gifts (Mammon and Levi are the only ones who fall for it lmao)

So MC decides to offer Asmo things that will allow him to parade around their love for him, things to keep them close when MC isn’t there

The first thing that MC gets Asmo is new nail polish, a color that they agonized over finding because they wanted it to match his eyes perfectly

Asmo has a very organized planner, its how he keeps track of all the events he is invited to, when he has dates, who hes slept with, who hes going to sleep with and everything in between

MC commissions custom made stickers for him so he can decorate the pages of his planner even more. Specifically a whole sheet of cute stickers of them together he could use for when they planned date nights

The next thing was something for Asmo’s room which he was always changing and refreshing so it looked forever interesting for Devilgram pics

MC gets a large print of Asmo’s favorite picture of them together and puts it in a beautiful frame that perfectly matched his favorite decorating style. Perfect to show to the world that Asmo was their favorite demon and that they looked so good together

And so they can take even more pictures of themselves together MC buys a Polaroid camera for Asmo. His phone will always be his favorite thing to take pics on but this way they could have them printed instantly and it continues to let him be trendy

Lastly MC gets Asmo a necklace. A dainty rose gold chain that he can wear with practically everything and with a diamond accented heart shaped locket that could easily be tucked away if needed. It was an enchanted locket, thanks to the help of Solomon, and it warmed when MC was thinking of him

Its the first thing Asmo grabs and quickly puts on, showing it off for MC

“Oh MC you are simply the cutest thing I have ever seen~ I’m sorry I don’t have something to give you in return. I hope the fact that my heart beats only for you will make up for it, now come here I’ve been without kisses too long.”

Beel

Its SO hard not to just grab whatever is in the kitchen at the time and throw it in the summoning circle and call it a day for Beel

But he is more than just his hunger and MC is always striving to show him that they understand that 

It was harder than expected, just because asking anyone what Beel might want always got them food answers. They thought Belphie might be helpful but only got told “he probably just wants a nap ... its what I would want”

MC starts to think of all the most special moments they had with Beel, trying to think what about them made them so memorable and they knew for a fact that it wasn’t the food

The first thing they come up with is a banner that MC made to cheer him on at one of his games. It had gotten a little tattered and torn because it had rained that day but they just couldn’t let it go

Mostly because Beel after winning had ran up into the stands and kissed them for the first time. It wasn’t as if they hadn’t ever kissed but they had always been the one to make the first move but this time Beel had come to them. Of course in the biggest gesture possible

It was cheating a little bit offering a cookbook, it was still food related, but it felt better than putting in actual food 

This particular cookbook was special to MC too, they had spent several months trying to recreate one of the recipes from it down in the Devildom when MC didn’t have it. Even their D.D.D had been no help in finding the human world dish they were trying so hard to recreate

It had finally been Beel who had found someplace that sold the food they had been craving. He had even been able to bring it back completely untouched just so that they could have it all though he didn’t complain when they offered him several bites from their fork

MC pulls the next thing from their own shelves at home, a well read copy of Lord of the Flies. The spine cracked and little notes about their favorite parts scribbled in the margin

It was one of the human novels that Satan had and one of MCs favorites from school. Beel had caught them reading it and thought the title was ironic but the more he watched MC get engrossed in reading the more curious he got

He eventually asked MC to read it to him, he actually liked books even if most didn’t take him for the type it was just that he had a hard time actually reading himself. He always got distracted by food but audio books always worked well for him when he was working out, it turned out to be even better when MC read to him when he was eating

It was the best of both worlds for him and he found the story actually pretty funny, slightly worrying MC but they figured they couldn’t blame a demon for getting enjoyment out of a story like that. He did find their lack of food concerning though so at least there was that

One of the things that Beel often complained about when MC was living in the devildom was that when he went to go eat they weren’t always there. Sure Beel would ask them to tag along whenever possible but it didn’t always happen. He would call them from the kitchen at times and tell them that he missed them

MC was sure the other brothers would have something to say about it but knew that Beel would genuinely enjoy the next thing MC offered. Amagnet with his favorite picture of them. It was MC caught in a candid he took, mid bite in a dessert he had made them and his hand could just be seen wiping some whipped cream off MC’s cheek

It was a way that Beel could have MC with him at his favorite place every time

The last thing that MC laid out was something that was inspired by Beel. He had once given them a coupon for a free meal by him and they had thought it was just about the cutest thing ever

They made him a whole coupon book of favors ranging from cooking any meal he wanted to recording his workouts for him and of course lots of coupons for hugs and kisses

Beel isn’t used to being summoned at all so hes slightly disoriented when he finds himself suddenly in the human world. As soon as he sees MC though its nothing but smiles and he doesn’t even notice the gifts until after

“MC did you know I was thinking about you? Sometimes I just say your name and hope you will appear ... so if you ever think of me just say my name. I want to be here, even if its during dinner” 

Belphie

Belphie is not one to beat around the bush at all. He is a creature of habit and just wants more of the same things that he already has. Dont fix something if its not broke right?

So its fairly easy to fill his summoning circle with things that he loves, just adding to his ever growing collection of happy nap time things

That isn’t to say that MC just grabs whatever blanket or pillows they have laying around, they still want it to be special for him

So yes the first two things they offer to Belphie is a pillow and blanket, there was never going to be anything else but MC spent a long time putting their love into finding just the right ones for him ... and still couldn’t find what they wanted

MC used this as an excuse to create something themselves for their sleepy boy. They dived deep into youtube and pintrest and spent more money than they care to admit on materials until finally they made what they wanted

The first was a quilt large enough for three cause the twins like to make MC a sandwich in a cow print pattern that matched his pillow and demon form marks, lined with the softest fabric she could find that was the same purple as his eyes 

His pillow was another quilted design, this time of a cloudy night sky with a sleepy cow jumping over the moon. MC stitched his name in pretty gold thread on the back long with a sweet ‘I love you’

There was one last fluffy thing to give to him, this one MC knew he would probably scoff and tease them about but they couldn’t help it. They saw the angry looking cow plushie and just could not walk away 

They have actually been sleeping with it when they miss him most and even if he doesn’t like the plushie the fact they have slept with it so much will make him a bit fonder of it

Even though they were pretty sure that Belphie knew every star in the sky MC couldn’t help but get a book with stories about the constellations. He might already know them all but they thought that he might still enjoy hearing them read to him as he drifted to sleep

The last thing MC has to offer him is also star related. A star map of the day that they made their pact. It was the day that MC had fully forgiven everything that had happened before and their relationship had truly began

When Belphie was summoned he was half asleep but knew who it must be even in his sluggish state. He gave a big yawn and looked around at all the things around him 

“At least things are already set up for the perfect nap, including having you. MC next time just say my name alright? Its much more of a drag this way ... and I want to know when you are dreaming of me”

[ruthlesslistener]

god yeah @ your post about wl like its so weird when people paint her as like. the gentle motherly type when most of her dialogue regarding her children pretty actively dehumanizes them. she CHOSE to participate in the vessel project bc it literally couldnt have happened without her consent and honestly she seems to have less empathy for thk than pk does (not that this excuses his actions ofc). like shes a great character and i love her but she is in no way an innocent victim

It’s literally just plain misogyny, lol. People want strong female characters, but they can’t handle said strong female characters when they end up being morally grey and thus accountable for their actions, bc of course Bad Evil Men always are the driving force between a woman doing horrible things, or she just happens to be a bitch because apparently that’s just how she is or because the creators hated her enough to not make her a Mary Sue. Write any female character to have actual significance and act like an actual important person and I assure you, if they don’t fit the perfect ‘good’ protagonist trope, then people are gonna fuckin’ hate them.

As for WL in particular, I blame it on a mix of this, as well as her having a husband who also ended up doing awful shit. Stick a man and a woman together in any sort of crime, and the male is 100% always gonna be villainized while the woman gets woobified to hell and back. And it gets even worse when they’re in a relationship, because of COURSE a healthy m/f relationship can’t ever exist while also doing fucked-up shit, it’s ALWAYS the man being viewed as a complete irredeemable asshole who’s dragging the woman into this against her will, no matter what the actual canon storyline says. Pretty much all PK bashers I see always think he’s some cold, arrogant, self-assured asshole while also depicting WL as this sweet motherly figure who’s deeply hurt by him killing a bunch of her kids, when in canon, it’s arguable that she’s even more detached than he was! The scene at the end of the Path of Pain showed Hollow when they were fresh out of the Abyss, still in prime baby form- hell, the scene he remembered could have come the moment after he brought them into the Palace and looked at them and felt pride in creating a Pure Vessel. There’s no argument here that PK loved his baby, his guilt is literally the reason why the Path of Pain exists, and it’s clear that he started to care for them when they were pretty damn young- but WL, upon seeing Ghost, acts as if they’re just another mindwiped servant puttering about. Sure, she warms up to them a bit later after they visit her a few times, but she’s still fucking frigid, and cleary sees them as an asset to Hallownest’s perpetuation rather than her kid. Hell, I felt more gutpunched by her coldness than I was when I saw PK pulling Hollow out of the Abyss and realized he killed all those kids, because once I saw the Path of Pain and all the evidence pointing to him hating what he did, I was like ‘ah, so it was a desperate political maneuver’ and didn’t take it as something he was personally invested in. WL, however, took me aback because I think the fandom already trained me to think of her as kind and fragile, and she ended up being just as cold and distant as any queen should be. Like, I was straight-up going ‘they’re your CHILD!!’ at her because I KNEW she knew that Hollow was dying due to an ‘idea instilled’ (oh, the concept of LOVING YOUR FAMILY, INSTILLED IN THEM BY. HER. HUSBAND.), and she was talking about them like a leaky pipe that needed to be replaced instead of a child of her flesh and blood. 

...Which, again, was misogynistic of me, because I made the mistake of automatically assuming that she would be a good parent on account of her gender, when gender has no bearing on parental capabilities. And like, she...doesn’t really have a need to be a doting mother, when you think about it?? First off, we canonically know that Ghost’s small stature is because they’re developmentally stuck at the level of a very young child, possibly even a newborn if we assume that PK picked Hollow on the day of their hatching, and they’re extremely mobile and more than capable of defending themselves. Like, I know it’s tempting to wanna make Ghost the cute little toddler, but we see in canon that even if they’re still just a baby god, they’re more than capable of handling complex problems and killing creatures. So they don’t NEED to be babied, they don’t NEED someone to fuss over them and treat them like a delicate little child. And if they were mobile at birth, then it’s very possible that both PK and WL’s parenting instincts reflect that, with them acting more as teacher figures to their very independent children...if they had that at all. With PK, I assume that he has SOME childrearing requirements in his species due to the fact that we know he cared for Hollow, and because there’s often little other reason, evolutionarily speaking, for important mate bonds to occur- and we know that he feels that deep mate bond, because he loved his wife enough to give her his soul. Like, it’s not the king and queen’s soul, he didn’t force her to be tied to him, the Kingsoul is literally a charm manifested from his end to commemorate him marrying her. Which, in turn, implies that he’s a creature whose offspring benefit from extended parental guidance out of the egg. But WL?? WL is a fucking TREE. She doesn’t operate NEARLY on the same level as anything that we can understand, hell, she probably doesn’t even HAVE childrearing instincts at all. Trees are well-known for mass producing viable seeds that have a very slim chance of survival, and she’s a tree who serves as a fertility/life goddess for a kingdom of bugs. Who, as we all know, also like to do the whole ‘mass-breed to win’ sort of deal. We see that in practically all of the other matriarchs of the feral bugs in Hollow Knight specifically, where the mother will birth children to strengthen her claim as queen; it’s not a personal thing, it’s a bug thing. When you think about it from that perspective, she really doesn’t need to give a shit about her kids. Nor should she! She is an immortal goddess that thrives off of the worship of mortals and the domination of other gods. She needs unyielding devotion to thrive and territory of her own to survive, and the fact that she’s a natural breeding matriarch ties into that. It’s not something to be ashamed of, nor is it something that PK ‘tried to control’, it’s merely a way for her to establish and hold power- if anything, the fact that she feels guilty about it at ALL is proof that there’s some scrap of compassion left in her, because the more you think about it, the more it makes sense for her to engage in the Vessel Plan and not care about the fate of her offspring. She is a tree, she doesn’t rear her young. She is a queen with a duty to her people, and keeping that position secured is a direct benefit to her status as a goddess. She is a matriarch in a kingdom of bugs, from a time before ‘’’advanced civilization,’’’ she doesn’t NEED to be a good mother. Like I said, it’s the fact that she feels guilty at all that shows she’s got a scrap of kindness in her, but even if she didn’t, that still wouldn’t make her an evil character. It’s just blue-orange morality, you can’t judge her based off of a scale she doesn’t even fit on.

Admittedly when I was in the period of ‘hate PK and WL’ about a year ago, when I was still a fandom newbie, I ended up hating WL longer than I did PK, but that was before I really figured out that she’s also incredibly...detached from the world? Or, at least, the perception of the world in Hollow Knight. And also, the only reason why I hated her for a longer duration of time was because she seemed dismissive and wasn’t doing anything to save Hallownest- because I don’t give a shit about massive character death, if you are a ruler it is YOUR responsibility to care for your civilians, even over your own children- but again, once I figured out how very alien she is, it made it hard to stay mad. Because like, she’s just on such a different plane of existence that you can’t expect her to have done a better job than her husband; of the two, she’s the more alien, godlike being imo, because it’s very clear that even if she played the role of Queen, she was much more of a goddess figure than a king that just so happened to be a god, like PK. And you can’t expect the gods to care, or to comprehend the vast scale of mortality and the tragedy of death. Your anger at a god is less anger at a direct person and more anger at a mountain, a hurricane, a creature so large that it didn’t even notice your suffering. Obviously, this doesn’t dismiss her, because she was still in control and knew that it was wrong, but she probably doesn’t process that grief in the same way that we do, or even in the same way that other bugs do, because again- she’s alien to all of us. Which in turn is why woobifying her is so stupid, because she is just barely human-analogous, and infanticide is, surprise! Extremely common in the animal kingdom. And if it’s not infanticide, then it’s high death rates via other causes- we’re just unusually squeamish about that because our kids take such a huge toll out of us and require so much care and time to raise that we’ve evolved superparent instincts. WL has not, she doesn’t need to, and I’d argue that the vessels don’t need her that much either, even if having her around would be nice. Claiming that the Pale King kept her from rearing her young when there’s indicators that he’s more inclined to be the one who has parental instincts is fucking stupid- she chose that route for herself, likely because she felt like she had no other choice. She’s a queen, it’s her goddamned job to save her kingdom, holy fuck. None of the characters in Hollow Knight are morally pure.

Also, I don’t usually like to bring the topic of racism into worlds that are non human-analogous, but another reason why I don’t like the issue of woobifying the White Lady is because there’s a chronic issue with treating pretty little white girls like they’re incapable of doing anything bad in their lives so they can turn right around and perpetuate racist ideals and behaviors because they’re like ‘uwu im baby’. I don’t think Hollow Knight is guilty of this at all, because WL and PK are NOT shown in a good light- and also because, like I said, they’re fucking bugs, and I don’t view the gods as colonizers as much as I view them as rival rulers from neighboring kingdoms acting like assholes to each other at the expense of peasent lives, like in medieval Europe- but when you’re dealing with fandom as a whole, filled with people who want to humanize the fuck out of these very clearly inhuman characters, you have to step back a little and squint suspiciously at people throwing bitchfits about a (literally, in this case) white female supposedly being more innocent and victimized than she actually is. Because even if there’s nothing going on with the actual material, the fact that someone is willing to get legitimately angry at other people over fictional characters on the basis of that trope-especially when the game itself makes it a damn clear point that all the gods had good intentions in mind that they executed in the worst way possible- it is REALLY not a good look.

(Also just for the record, I really love WL now, by virtue of also loving PK- but I probably would never have cared much about PK if he DIDN’T kill a fuckton of his own kids and angsted over it. I like horrific falls from grace, preferably with a lot of murder and other horrifying shit, so he’s like, PEAK content to delight my angst/horror hunger. So I’m def. not dissing on WL here because LITERALLY the only reason why I like her now is bc she and her husband are child murderers, otherwise they’d probably be too boring/vanilla for me to give a shit.)

[brellyius]

How was Hargreeves’ friendships when they were kids:

A long ass post of my ideas(probably dumb) inspired by both comic books and tv show)

starting with:

-Luther and Allison:

They were best of friends who had feelings for each other.(?)Let me dig this deeper. Luther was #1, which meant he was the unofficial leader of the Academy. His power is being super strong which is also a reason why he was the leader. Allison, is the only female with powers (SIKE) and her power was to rumor anyone, anything she wants which means she could easily get what she wanted, which probably also created an ego as a child. As being #1 and doing what you want, they could understand and relate to each other. In s1, allison says she got whatever she wanted with everything.. Do I think they have feelings for each other?? No. I think as children who grow up so close and alike, they thought they did. I think they have a special place for each other but not as “the one” and allison knows that.

-Luther and Diego:

As #1 and #2, they ALWAYS had a rival. Trying to impress daddy constantly. I think they sometimes had soft moments and both thought like “mb he’s not that bad” but ended up getting annoyed and saying “ughh i hate him” Reginald was why they never really liked each other to begin with.

-Luther and Klaus:

Klaus ANNOYED Luther. I’m sure of that. Luther was the one who’s always serious and reasonable and Klaus probably created a lot of drama. I can see Klaus making fun of Luther and Allison’s relationship. I think when Klaus did something funny, Luther always looked annoyed but he also found those funny.. Luther as a kid, loved having Klaus around but also annoyed with him. I think Luther always wanted to have fun as Klaus did. Klaus loved talking to Luther, he found Luther interesting. I think they had some really really soft moments. 🥺

-Luther and Five:

According to comic books, they’re twins. Five always thought he was better than all of them which annoyed Luther so much. Five constantly developed his power and more he developed, more he annoyed Luther. Five was also better at learning stuff like languages which also annoyed Luther. Bcz he wanted to be his dad’s fave and Five was a huge opponent. Even tho Luther saw Five as a thread, he took Five leaving hard.

-Luther and Ben:

Ok so this is a bit complicated because in comic books, they dig deeper on their relationship but not in TV show. In comic books, Luther blames himself for Ben’s death and in his moon station, he names his helper “Ben” . Ben is known as a gullible child, easily effected so Luther probably did a bad leading which lead to his death? Scary to think about. I think Ben was THAT one sibling, who everyone loved and got along. That’s why his death caused the end of the Academy. Luther loved Ben but I think he always pushed Ben? In missions, Ben was a HUGE impact, but Ben hated using his powers.

-Luther and Vanya:

Luther probably didn’t even think Vanya was a part of the family? I think he was mean towards her but as time went by, he regretted it and became closer with her. I think when Ben died, Vanya was the one who consolted Luther. Even tho she was suffering so much.

-Diego and Allison:

*eye rolls* , *grumble grumble* they DID not like each other’s company. Diego always crossed the line with everything and Allison always tried to stop him. They definitely had friction. Never got on well. After they went their seperate ways, Diego probably never seen any of Allison’s movies. Lol

-Diego and Klaus:

My fave. Diego PLAYED with Klaus. He tricked him to do dumb shit all the time. If he was bored, he went to Klaus. When he was upset, went to Klaus. They definitely messed with Luther A LOT. Klaus was his safety blanket. Klaus annoyed him a lot, but a second later, annoyed feelings were gone. He acted like BIG brother toward Klaus. Klaus also loved being around Diego.

-Diego and Five:

Their relationship was just like Luther and Five’s were. Rivalry. Hard. After five’s departure, Diego was very upset and started to question his dad. After Ben, Diego fell apart.

-Diego and Vanya:

Funfact: Diego has a thing for Vanya in comic books. Which I’m glad that it’s not portrayed like that in the TV Show. Diego was a total asshole to Vanya. No more no less. Vanya always felt for Diego tho. I think when Diego was suffering from difficulty of speaking, Vanya tried to be helpful but Diego always acted tough, he hated looking needy. He thought Vanya pitied him which annoyed him. Vanya tried to reach him but was blocked.

-Allison and Klaus:

Another fave. Loved each other so much. Always hugs, funny jokes. Allison being a BIG sister to Klaus. Klaus wanting to wear Allison’s clothes. She had a soft spot for Klaus. She knew how hard his powers were. Sometimes she wished she could help him but Klaus never let anyone know about his struggles. He always turned his traumas into fun.

-Allison and Five:

Another tough relationship. They both were strong characters. Allison was annoyed by Five bcz he thought so highly of himself. Five was annoyed bcz he could see right through her. Five knew what Allison was capable of and called her out all the time. It was tough to hear these for Allison but it did wonders for her character development. She also questioned her dad after Five’s departure.

-Allison and Ben:

Great buddies for sure. When Allison was upset, Ben was there. They loved each other. Allison felt for Ben. Ben hated his powers and Allison could see it and told Luther to stop pushing him. She was devastated after the incident.

-Allison and Vanya:

Barely talked but when they did, it was special. Allison mostly hung out with Luther in private. Sometimes she needed a female friend and went to Vanya. But after her problems were solved, she forgot about Vanya. Vanya always felt like they were gonna be closer but never became. When Five left, Allison thought it effected Vanya the most. Then Ben died and Vanya was even more traumatized. Allison could see this but didnt know what to do. She cared about Vanya more and more everyday.

-Klaus and Five:

They weren’t close at all. He definitely thought Klaus was an idiot. But I think Five discovered Klaus’ drinking at young age and knew his struggles but wasn’t around enough to help. In Hotel Oblivion, we see Five’s intervention with Klaus. I think even tho he’s %90 of the time an asshole to Klaus, he felt for Klaus. Klaus loved pissing him off tho.

-Ben and Klaus:

Partners in crime. Always tricked Ben to do something. Ben always tried to stop Klaus doing something dumb but ended up being a partner. Ben always wanted to watch out for Klaus. They both struggled with their powers. They sometimes talked about it. Ben knew about Klaus’ mausoleum incident. Ben hated Reggie. Hated how harsh he was on them. They loved each other so much, Klaus couldnt let him go.

-Klaus and Vanya:

Klaus loved Vanya and Vanya loved Klaus. Klaus was always there to cheer Vanya up. When Vanya felt left out, Klaus made a joke. It was always like that. Vanya never understood how Klaus handled his horrible power. Vanya was so worried about Klaus. They never talked deep, but could hear each other without talking.

-Five and Vanya:

BEST OF FRIENDS. Five always felt Vanya was so mature and smart. Talked about everything. Five always complained about his siblings and dad and told everything to Vanya and Vanya listened to him patiently. His departure hit her so so bad.

-Ben and Five:

Loved each other’s company. Worked so well together. Loved each other. Had midnight talks.

-Vanya and Ben:

Vanya listened to Five, Ben listened to Vanya. Ben was the ONLY person who cared so much about Vanya. He was her guardian, her safety blanket. When Vanya was upset, Ben grabbed Klaus to cheer Vanya up. After making Vanya laugh, Klaus went away and Ben and Vanya talked about everything.

So yeah, that’s all. I hope y’all enjoyed this. It took me a long time to write this down. Please share your thoughts and feelings. Thank youu 🥰🥰