#i always think writing detective/mystery fiction is fun and i should do it more but i never really get the chance haha

[pochapal]

I don’t know if you’ve been asked this before, but what was your experience with detective mystery novels before umineko?

i've always gravitated towards stories with mysteries or something obtuse to puzzle over and figure out but i'm not actually that versed in detective fiction at all haha. the genres i'm normally into lean more towards horror and speculative/literary and also everything that homestuck is so while a lot of stuff i read does have central mysteries guiding their plots, the specific construction of detective mystery isn't something i am incredibly familiar with on the whole.

my closest experience to detective mystery fiction was actually when i was super into danganronpa as a teen and i ended up trying to write my own original killing game fan story. i never finished it and it's kind of cringe looking back at it but i did spend several years of my life trying to construct solid "hard but fair" murder mystery cases (i still have a bunch of files on my hard drive from when i planned it all out lol) that i think taught me a lot about the experience of a murder mystery from both the perspective of the writer and the reader. a lot of that was making up a guy in my head and imagining them trying to catch me out based on where their thinking would likely be at each stage. so then i was also thinking of my mystery but also how to throw this hypothetical guy off the scent while still making something solvable. the writing process was very much like chessboard spinning but if you put the chessboard in a 1 million rpm washing machine and turned into a weird psychological game of cat and mouse between me and a person that didn't necessarily exist.

the mysteries i published were kind of not that great (their conceits were "how can you find *the* culprit when the culprit is actually two people in tandem" and "an incredibly obvious case that becomes complicated by everybody else's assumptions and overthinking") since i wrote and planned them out when i was like 17 but the later cases i never got around to doing when i hit my stride and sketched out the rest of this story would have been way cooler (one murder was going to hinge around a really nasty wordplay trick to do with the time of death that technically wasn't a lie but was incredibly misleading and deceptive and another was an elaborate cause-effect chain involving a publicly witnessed indisputable suicide as the trigger) if i'd gotten around to completing the story. i will forever be haunted by this one particular locked double locked room murder i spent six months of my life sketching out down to the minute by minute positioning of the characters. it would have had the 2018 fanganronpa community trembling in their boots if i had ever realized my vision lmao.

anyway i guess my experience with detective mystery fiction is coming more from the position of a writer than a reader which i think comes through a little when you examine some of my thought processes (my approach at times is very much "if i was writing this story right now what would i do here" and then i search for evidence to try and back that up) even if i'm not super well-read or familiar with the genre outside of like one vn series lol. i know about making fiction and i know about keeping people guessing via revealing and concealing information and past a certain point most fiction operates under similar principles so that's how i got into understanding and approaching mystery. i think it's a fun genre, both to produce and to read now that i'm reading something that is more seriously presenting itself as a piece of detective mystery fiction! umineko is good because it really is scratching a specific kind of itch i never really address in my own writing these days because there's a specific time and occasion to produce these kinds of mysteries. hope this illuminates my understanding of/relationship to this genre a little more!

[spaceorphanssecondbreakfastclub]

SO's Bookclub : Moonflower Murders

Title: Moonflower Murders Author: Anthony Horowitz Genre: Mystery

Goodreads Summary:

Retired publisher Susan Ryeland is living the good life. She is running a small hotel on a Greek island with her long-term boyfriend Andreas. It should be everything she's always wanted. But is it? She's exhausted with the responsibilities of making everything work on an island where nothing ever does, and truth be told she's beginning to miss London.

And then the Trehernes come to stay. The strange and mysterious story they tell, about an unfortunate murder that took place on the same day and in the same hotel in which their daughter was married—a picturesque inn on the Suffolk coast named Branlow Hall—fascinates Susan and piques her editor’s instincts. 

One of her former writers, the late Alan Conway, author of the fictional Magpie Murders, knew the murder victim—an advertising executive named Frank Parris—and once visited Branlow Hall. Conway based the third book in his detective series, Atticus Pund Takes the Cake, on that very crime. 

The Trehernes' daughter, Cecily, read Conway’s mystery and believed the book proves that the man convicted of Parris’s murder—a Romanian immigrant who was the hotel’s handyman—is innocent. When the Trehernes reveal that Cecily is now missing, Susan knows that she must return to England and find out what really happened.

Review:

I picked this up right after finished Magpie Murders. I thought the first story in the series was clever enough to warrant me picking up the second. And, honestly, I think this one was just as good -- maybe even better than the first one.

So - this book follows a similar pattern as the first one, only this time the narrative framing is flipped. First - we have our main character, Susan, getting knee deep in a murder mystery, and then two-thirds through, we abruptly stop to read an entirely different, Agatha Christie-esque novel, then get back to the original story. It shouldn't work (and it's not a perfect structure) but like the original, it's pulled off rather well.

Interestingly, in the original novel - I found the fake story to be the more captivating one, and the mystery in the 'real world' a little bit more trite and convoluted. This time, I think the 'real world' mystery is a bit stronger, and the fake one maybe doesn't pack as much of a satirical punch. But I think both are really solid mysteries.

Like the overly long recap above says - Susan is back (and not feeling as much like a man writing a woman's POV) and this time is trying to track down a missing woman and the murderer of a case that was supposedly closed years earlier. Even though it's a bit implausible that an editor would be going around solving crimes, the mystery is intriguing enough and the characters are interesting enough to keep you engaged.

The fake story is a little more Hercule Poirot-ish (opposed to the Country House Mystery-esque of the original book) and a bit wilder in terms of plot and plausibility - but, again, still a very engaging read. The connections to the main plot are a lot harder to suss out -- but when the book reveals its tricks near the end, I found it remarkably clever. And of course, there are a ton of references to, not only Agatha Christie, but of that golden age of detective novel which makes it so much fun.

I do have some minor quibbles - the ties in with Susan's personal life, her sister and her ever up and down relationship with partner Andreas, feel a bit shoehorned in to give Susan some kind of personal drama. I feel like it falls a little flat when the story pulls away from the mystery, but I can see why he went there.

But that aside, even though I really enjoyed this book (and I did!) I'm beginning to have one real big issue with Horowitz's writing. He has some kind of weird, awkward relationship with gay men. They're seen as perverts and promiscuous playboys and meet a lot of gruesome deaths. The book tries to play it off as though -- yeah, gay's cool, whatever -- but there aren't any other, positive queer representations in the book. And it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

So, that said -- I really did enjoy my time with the book, and make it a solid recommendation. But I'm docking it a full point for that one thing that I wish wasn't a theme in Horowitz's books (since it popped up in the previous one, too).

Rating : 4 Stars

[delicrieux]

☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 23: PRETTY BOY

emotions run wild when everyone is drunk and hardly coherent. quackity is always loud, but tonight is a full on assault on the senses (the ears, in particular). bretman simps for corpse too much for your liking. rae is happy for once. there’s a confession of love somewhere in there. sister james makes a very good impostor, but that’s old news, the real question is who gave you a knife? a new persona emerges that leaves the roaches quivering in their boots.

─── corpse husband x reader, a lil bit of everyone x reader (because she’s a queen) ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: a lil over 7k.

author’s note: it’s the way i can’t follow a fucking calendar for me. sorry guys, i swear to god i thought i had one more day before thursday . the idiot award goes to me and i accept it with pride. anyway, i was excited to write this for a while! quackity is in mexico, that’s why he drinks, too. my fic, my rules, he’s too funny not to include. im also working on an extra w dream and mr quack so look forward to that, too! hopefully u like this part ily xx and as always lmk wat u think!!

ultimate masterlist.  ҉  myso masterlist   ҉   previous. ҉   next.

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The outfit for today was picked with care and consideration. Hot, as always- you had forgotten your roots, your hoodie and sweats lay hidden in the bottom of your drawer never to be worn on stream again. You’ve changed. Clout really does that to people. Some viewers, naturally, find your hotness near insulting: how dare you rub your beauty in their faces, and so unabashedly, too?! If only you had a twinge of self-awareness, perhaps you would tone it down. But you don’t, and whether that’s by choice or not is the mystery the whole internet tries to solve (ARMY has been working diligently, and you admire their effort, though in the end their tireless labor brings no tangible results). 

You went from hot to hotter. In all truth, the fires eating away at California can be blamed on you. You carry this burden in stride, in your platform overpriced shoes some girl scammed you on Depop with, in your fishnets, in your skirt, in your corset, in your rings and necklaces and chains. You woke up today and chose violence. Decided your existence will be a plague to the rest of the populace, and meant it (that, maybe, you took inspiration from a certain faceless Youtuber that so happens to be your boyfriend or whatever). You feel powerful. Like you could step on the world and the world would let you. You decide that it’s the way it should always be. 

The smile on your lips informs of nothing good to your quaint, small audience of 40k. You change the lighting in your room from the soft cherry blossom pink to menacing violet. As fitting for a villain.

Perhaps California’s hellish sun has finally purged you of your bubbly, docile nature (arguably, you had never possessed it to begin with); perhaps it’s the forth mimosa you’re mixing as people slowly trickle into the lobby. Who knows?! Not you, definitely. What do all of those boring dead white European philosophers say? Embrace the unknown? Cheers, you’ll drink to that.

In stark contrast to your appearance, your room is a fucking mess. A war-zone of epic anime scale. Everything is scattered, well, everywhere. A perfect representation on what’s going on in your mind, always. You don’t like how people focus on your surroundings-- you’re the main attraction, hello? Are you not enough to sustain them? Must they beg for more?! Totally ungrateful. You shake your head in disappointment, as if a mother scolding her children. 

noooooo! mom pls forgive me i will never ask abt anything ever again T_T

yall looking at the room? lol couldnt be me

feels like im five and my mum just told me i cant eat a pretty rock i found on the pavement:(

You can’t contain your sly grin. Eyes twinkle with a purplish hue, appearing all the more menacing. You tricked them once again, oh how absolutely evil of you. In your blind delight you accidentally spill champagne on your lap.

“-Oop, fuck.” You snort.

why does she sound like goofy 

The scandalous drunk Among Us stream is about to start. You had been eerily silent through the greetings, and those that chose to approach you were met with a cold shoulder and minimal replies. All on purpose, of course. You wish to plant a seed of unease within them, and so far, it’s working. There are questions unanswered, jokes unsaid, Quackity unteased. It breaks your heart, but it must be done. You look into the camera, all vulnerable and devout, as if to say: I’m doing this for you, all for you.

pack it up yandere simulator

idk whats going on but i think im into it?

villain arc villain arc villain aRC VILLAIN ARC

“Hey, guys,” Corpse’s voices rings in your headphones, and not a blink later his astronaut appears in the lobby in a cloud of smoke, “Hi, Y/n.”

More sharp, excited hellos follow after. You merely hum, though give no further reply. As Corpse strays to your side, Charlie steps in in front of him, “BDA access only. You have a permit, bitch?”

“Y/n is being quiet-she’s being quiet, guys!” Quackity helpfully informs, as if the rest failed to notice your cryptic silence, “Don’t be sad Corpse, man, Corpse don’t be-she didn’t say shit to me either.”

“Y/n has decided to not waste her breath on the SDS.” Charlie voices, “And you know what? I actually agree with her for once.”

“SD-what now?” Dream questions.

“The Small Dick Society.” Charlie explains, noting Dream’s whine of protest, “Oh no, don’t give me that shit, weren’t you bitching about not being invited and not belonging to exclusive clubs? Congratulations, you’re finally part of one.”

“Wait!” Quackity interjects, “Am I part of it too?”

“Guess, Sherlock.”

“I’ll drink to that.” Corpse says. You nod to your audience, like he just spoke the God honest truth, and follow in his example. Your tentative sip unexpectedly turns into a greedy gulp, but you’re not complaining. The only slightly coherent thought that rings in your mind is drink tasty.

“Ignore them,” Rae chimes, “Y/n’s probably plotting something and using Charlie as a cover up.”

“I’d never.” The words slip past your lips before you can stop them.

“Well you sure are very quick to deny it.” You can hear her smirking, can hear the proud lilt in her voice, like she caught onto your silly little scheme, like she has you all figured out. Your eyes narrow dangerously. The night behind your window pools dark, with far away city lights glimmering before they, too, seem to dim. 

Your roommate is back on your shitlist. How her name was missed among the rest.

“I’m defending my honor.” You yelp, the playfulness back in your voice along with your sunny smile, “I can’t have my wifey slandering me online. At least do it in private, geez.”

If Rae’s such a good detective, you’ll give her a good chase. Perhaps you’ve been laying it on too thick. Made her too suspicious. She can’t out you yet--not when your plans are so grand, so fun. It would be a waste.

“Why weren’t you saying anything then?” Quackity questions.

“Do I need a reason not wanting to talk to you?” You shoot back. Your friends laugh and he tries to shriek something past their cackle. You lean back into your chair, the tension from Rae’s confrontation finally easing. You wink at the camera and bring a finger to your lips. The roaches swear to secrecy, elated by your wickedness. As appropriate, they spam devil emojis and various renditions of evil hohohos and hehehes. The apple truly does not fall far from the tree. You had raised them well. You raise your glass in solidarity. A few donations fall into your pocket, easily summed up as: make them suffer.

Muting the discord call, you give a single response, “Oh, I intend to.”

i hope this doesn’t awaken something in me

^already too late for me bro

As caught up in wreaking havoc among your viewers as you are, you miss Sykkuno’s entrance, though from what you can tell, Charlie gave a stern warning to back the fuck off to him, too. He’s playing into your plan so beautifully. Truly, you couldn’t do this without him. Back to stalking the chat you go.

Your eyes flicker to the game upon Bretman’s signature drawl and “Hi, daddy.”. You have no time to get offended at Corpse’s sweet “Hi, honey” back, because the next person to join the discord call and the lobby leaves you speechless. You knew, of course, you had been informed of the line-up, but still, you had never expected yourself to be so close to Jomes Chorles himself. You make a weird gesture with your hands, half wave half excited wiggle, as if you’re telling the audience to calm down, when, in fact, it is you that needs calming.

He goes saying his hello’s like doing a public service, name by name, before, lastly, uttering, “Hi, Miss Y/n. Loooove the vids.”

He’s a roach in disguise, who could’ve known?! Your audience is so diverse and unexpected, gosh, you’d shed a tear if the mascara wasn’t so expensive.

“Hi!” You reply with a grin, and it’s genuine this time, a glimmer of your old self, “Hi, I love your videos, too. It’s like, really cool to finally meet you.”

“Oh my God, you too!” Is his enthusiastic reply, “Okay, the energy in the studio today? Love it.”

“Is this all of us?” Quackity asks.

“Sadly.” James says with a note of disappointment.

“HEY!”

“Okay, guys!” Ash chimes, “Let’s do this! Proximity Among Us, round one, go go go!”

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Luck does not shine upon you during the first round- you are stuck as Crew Mate, your life cut short by Bretman who had the audacity to bite your head off. You’re positive Ke$ha wrote her hit single Cannibal about him, and if she didn’t, she definitely had a That’s So Raven moment and predicted it. It’s also insanely suspicious as after you are eliminated he sticks real close to Corpse, feigning innocence (and this is a controversial opinion you do not endorse) better than even you. It wounds your pride, having been picked off so casually, so quickly, and now stuck a ghost you roam the halls of the dying spaceship, lost, confused, heartbroken.

Charlie runs past you, not once even glancing in your direction. “Brother...” You mutter sadly, “Do you not see me here? Do you not feel... the loss of your twin’s heartbeat...?" Damn, these mimosas really are making you emotional. You sniffle and take a sip to calm the storm within you. No rage, just sadness. You are still processing your own tragic demise.

Suddenly, a meeting is called. There’s a horrible red X on your astronaut. You are the only one dead so far, and of course the rest won’t vote out the fucker. How bitterly you sit! With your arms crossed over your chest and your glare sharp enough to cut through glass. Fuck the sad shit, now you’re just angry. At the very least, the second Impostor could’ve given you some company!

“I knew something felt off.” Charlie is first to speak.

“Who the fuck killed Y/n?” Corpse questions, and his voice ignites a whole discussion that lasts much too short. The others skip, having no suspect yet. It’s much too soon to start pointing fingers, but you still feel like they should have at least tried. Pouting, you fix yourself another drink.

“Stop drinking!?” You gasp, exasperated at your chats demands, “I’m dead! What else should I do, the tasks?! Nah, fuck that. I’m done. I’m out. Charlie better employ his fucking detective skills because if the Impostors win, I will literally quit the game--yes I will, no I’m not bullshitting, fucking watch me.”

Thankfully, Bretman was caught venting, and you didn’t have to end the stream prematurely. The second Impostor, your roommate (oh, the betrayal, Rae, how could you?!) was voted out due to Corpse’s suspicion. Victory to the Crew Mates! The game restarts and you find yourself back in the lobby.

“Miss Y/n,” Bretman says, “I am sooo sorry for killing you first, baby. It was just too easy. I couldn’t pass it up.”

Giggling, Quackity chimes, “Sister slaughtered.”

“Oh my God,” James groans, “shut up!”

“Yeah, Y/n.” Charlie speaks, and there’s an accusatory note in his calm voice, “Why the fuck did you allow yourself to be eliminated first? Real noob shit, I expected more of you.”

“HUH?!” You frown, “What’s with the victim blaming?! I literally was doing my task and Bretman snuck up on me. It’s not like I had a weapon to defend myself!”

“You have been avenged,” Corpse states, “and that’s all that matters.”

“Thank you, Corpse!” You say, “At least someone cares.”

“Hey, I helped, too!” Dream pipes up.

“No, you didn’t.” Corpse shoots him down, “I was the only one.”

“You were not--”

“Literally was. Isn’t that right, Sykkuno?”

“Uhhhh-” Sykkuno trails off, “Well, we-we all helped!” You can hear his shy smile, and you just know he’s bobbing his head up and down at this exact moment, “We all helped. Team work!”

“Team work!” The rest echo, save for yourself, Corpse, Charlie, and the two Impostors. Silence speaks more than a thousand words or whatever. You pray to any higher power willing to listen to finally assign you the role of the villain, the one you were born to do. 

Sadly, higher powers must have either shitty customer service or are in need of hearing aids, and you almost scream in frustration when your astronaut appears along with the others, the bold CREW MATE title chipping away at your master plan.

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“Hey, Y/n, hey! Hey, Y/n!” Rae finds you in Cafeteria, where you, metaphorically, are eating your feelings. Not that she needs to know, of course. She sounds chipper, a bit ditsy, and that must mean she’s sufficiently tipsy. You store that information for later, and forget about it as soon as you notice Dream and Sykkuno, like her very own personal bodyguards, trailing after her, “Wanna play a game?!”

“Is this Saw?” You inquire, somewhat lazy. You’d be lying if you said the alcohol wasn’t affecting you, it’s just instead of making you bubbly, it makes you mellow. This was supposed to be fun, you were supposed to terrorize everyone and laugh as they perished by your hand, yet here you are, wallowing in self-pity. The roaches start worrying. The donation jingle chimes.

BEATINGS & SLUTATIONS yns_fishnets donated 5$ mom just wait it out & dont worry youll get your vengeance soon lead them on!!!!

Your fishnets have a point! 

“Saw?--No, no, haa, no it’s a drinking game.” Dream sounds like he has had one too many rounds of this mysterious game, and naturally, you are intrigued.

“Where we drink!” Sykkuno clarifies. Right, well that explains everything! If you had any questions, you surely have none now.

“Okay, so, name a category, and you have to, like, say a word associated with it...Or something along those lines.” You hadn’t even agreed and Rae is explaining the rules already. She knows you too well. It’s both a blessing and a curse, “Can be anything! Okay, Y/n, Y/n, Y/n start!”

“Uhh--” If only your brain computed as fast as she spoke! “Song lyrics! Wait--who drinks?”

“You fail, you drink!” She hurries, “Choke me like you hate me but you love meeeeee. Syk, go, go go!”

“Uhm, ah, I don’t wanna feel like this, uh, fuck?” He laughs--it’s a raspy, embarrassed little sound, “I don’t...wanna look like this? Dream, now you!”

“Wait, we’re singing Corpse’s songs?”

“Any song!” You urge him quickly, “Hurry! Or drink!”

“She say I kill her cat like I'm Luka Magnotta--”

“Hey! That’s cheating! You can’t use my song!” Rae protest.

“That wasn’t in the rules!” He counters.

“Y/n! Time’s running out!” Sykkuno exclaims.

“Oh, uh, will-will the real Slim Shady please stand up!”

NOT EMINEM WHAT THE FUCK

MOOOM WHT THE HELL THIS ISNT 2008 T_T

“Ra-Ra-Rasputin, Russia’s greatest love machine--”

“All...All the other kids with the pumped up kicks better, uhh, run better run, faster...-faster than my gun?”

“Uhh, shit--fucking hell.” Dream laughs, and Rae practically screams at him to keep going, “Alright! Okay! I’m singing--uh, you’re so golden, na na na na?”

“I tell you what a woman loves most,” You chime gleefully, “it’s a man who can slap but can also stroke.”

finally, the mother mother representation we’ve all been waiting for

i aint exactly gay but i aint exactly not gay >:)

the bis won

“I steal a few breeeeaaaths from the woooorld for a minute--”

“Mitski?!” You question, eyes bulging, “Baby, who hurt you?”

Even if you can’t see her, you know she’s waving her arms around and shaking her head, “Not the point! Sykkuno!”

“Uh, I-I, uhm, I don’t--”

“Drinnnnk!” You all chorus. 

“It was a good concert,” You say, “Syk, I’ll drink with you.”

“Thank you, Y/n. That’s very kind of you.” He says softly, with a smile lining his lips. You grin.

“Oh, fine. Everyone, bottoms up!” Rae decides, and no one protest. A moment of silence passes, then, “Well, GG, GG, let’s do some tasks?”

Your enthusiastic Ariana Grande-esque “yuh” is cut short by the second meeting of game two being called. The first one to go had been Ash, voted out during a bathroom break as a joke, and you still feel a bit bad about that. Now, you notice Charlie has been eliminated. A sense of righteousness fills you--while you mourn for your brother from another mother and father and family tree, you feel like this is divine punishment for slandering you before the start of this round. Karma. Nothing much is discussed, and the meeting ends shortly with everyone skipping. 

You spend a good ten minutes wandering around with Dream, who’s mission appears to be convincing you to join his Minecraft server, and really, there was no need for him to try so hard. You failed to provide him with a concrete answer only because it would've been to humiliating to admit that you agreed instantly upon hearing the word Minecraft.

That’s when things get fucking weird. Another meeting is called whilst you’re in the middle of fixing lights, and once the board with the members appears you audibly gasp. There had been 8 living, breathing astronauts rushing around the map, and now only 4 remain. You, Corpse, James, and Alex. 

“What the fuck--what the fuck?!” You screech alarmed, noting Dream being among the perished crew, “I was just with Dream fixing the lights, I was just with him, what the fuck--”

“Okay, no one panic.” James says, “Let’s figure this out. Okay? Okay. Who else is close to Electrical?”

“I’m at Nav.” Quackity says.

“I’m at Cafeteria, but Y/n--” Corpse starts, “kinda weird that Dream died when you were with him?”

“I didn’t fucking kill him, I swear to God, Corpse, why are you accusing me?”

“Don’t be so defensive.” He says smoothly, “I’m just pointing out the obvious. We all have a reason to be sus, no? Considering you were right with him.”

“...It is suspicious.” James agrees, and a part of you dies inside. You understand their hesitance to trust you, but it doesn’t make it any less frustrating!

“Guys, I didn’t kill him, I swear. He invited me to play Minecraft, I wouldn’t do that to him, not after that!”

Corpse merely hums, and it brings no comfort what’s so ever. The situation is spiraling, and not in your favor. Trying to salvage your chances at freedom, you try again, “Wh-James, James, you called the meeting, right?”

“Yeah, I found Rae’s body near Medical.”

“So I couldn’t have killed her and Dream at the same time!” You latch onto that piece of information, hoping it will save you.

“You could’ve vented.” Corpse points out, “Plus, there’s no telling how old the body is.”

“Killing five fucking people? It’s the work of one person, or else the game would have already ended. As it stands, I am no way sober enough to think all of this out.”

A brief silence hangs in the air; your lungs constrict from tension, from spilling words so hotly. You grasp your glass, as if for emphasis, and take a shy sip. It taste sweet, a bit too sweet for your liking. Must be your nerves. You drink again to wash the taste out of your mouth, which, surprisingly, doesn’t work. You whine a little, stomping your feet like a child about to throw a temper tantrum.

“...I believe her.” Quackity says. You breathe out a sigh of relief.

“Alex, thank youuuuuu!” You gush, batting your lashes as if he could somehow see you and that would somehow portray your innocence, “I knew I liked you for a reason!”

He mutes his mic, his spill of words lost to your ears, but chat helpfully informs that he’s screaming because you don’t hate him. 

y/n out here collecting men like pokemon cards

Now all that’s left is to convince the others. You start with the one you know will work, “Corpse,” You address him in your sweetest voice.

“Y/n,” James warns, “don’t you dare--”

“Baby, I didn’t kill anyone, I’m crew mate, you gotta believe me.”

“She's innocent.” Corpse declare, thoroughly convinced.

“Oh my fucking God, you fucking simp!” James laughs, “She’s obviously manipulating you!”

“No, no, she isn’t. She’s innocent, I agree with Quackity. Now, it’s either you or him.”

“Could be you for all we know!” Alex accuses.

“Guys, time’s running out.” You mutter fretfully, noting the seconds tick by from white to red. 

“I’m voting Alex.” Corpse says.

“What?! Fucking traitor! Fine, I’m voting for you.” Alex hisses.

“Ugh, hate agreeing with Quackity, but I’m also voting Corpse. Sorry, hon, nothing personal.” James says. The VOTED icons pop up beside their characters and you panic, pressing your mouse idly but it’s too late, there wasn’t enough time, and you cry as Corpse is thrown into lava. The chat spams F, and it feels like salt on a fresh wound.

In a second you’re back in Cafeteria, shell-shocked and trembling, and Quackity cusses because the Impostor is still among you. His frustration doesn’t last long as you watch in horror as Jams Chortles, beauty guru supreme, murders the only other crew mate in cold blood and all you can do is gape and let his cheerful laughter fill your ears. The screen bleeds red, informing of Impostor victory, the second one being Ash. Looks like you voted her off for the right reason, but little difference did it make.

“Corpse!” You yell past the cacophony of voices, all in varying forms of excitement or anger, beelining for his in-game figure, “Corpse, I’m so sorry, I panicked, I tried pressing the button but I wasn’t quick enough--”

“It’s alright, baby. Don’t worry about it.” He’s so calming, so gentle, you might burst into tears again. What did you do to deserve him? You wish he was with you so you could smother him in a hug. Alas, all you can do now is say “I kith you, mwah!” and rush to the other side of the lobby, as if to hide from such a bold display of affection, even if it was a joke (it wasn’t).

yall say corpse simps for y/n but the reality is y/n simps for corpse harder

queen stop its embarrassing

bhaddies can simp!! i wouldnt but its her choice <3

More deliberations, commentary, and short breaks. Once everyone has returned, the countdown starts. You’re still reeling from the chaos of emotions, the five stages of grief you experienced in 1 second upon Corpse’s unjust demise, that it takes you a moment, a single heartbeat to realize what you’re seeing on screen.

The letters IMPOSTOR hang above your astronaut, with Dream standing just behind you as your newly appointed partner in crime. And suddenly, all the sadness and the tenderness and sympathy vanish with a curt exhale. You slowly turn your head to the chat, muting the Discord call, your soft chuckle of disbelief turning into a full blown laugh.

it’s happening!!!! 

omg omg omg omg

VILLAIN ARC VILLAIN ARC VILLAIN ARC

You slap your palm over your lips, trying to contain your wicked smile, to tone down your broken giggles, “N-No, I can’t laugh yet,” shaking your head softly, you look into the camera, “they’re all going to die.”

pack it up light yagami

this has awoken something in me.

^ same

The crew mates go their own ways, rushing to do their tasks like the diligent little workers they are. How adorable. Their grim fate is still miles away from them. The shit you’ll pull will be for the history books. Much like your outfit, which you picked keeping in mind your newfound thirst for blood, you had devised your plan of action with care and consideration. You had been mulling it over all day, drawing on paper like the absolute madwoman you are; hell, you even made sticky notes on who to go for first and what to say. Sure, being moderately drunk hinders your memory slightly (an understatement of the century), but you got a feel for what you’re going to do. It’s nothing short of evil.

Dream and you don’t exchange words, you merely nod at him-- which he, of course, can’t see-- but your criminal bond enables telepathic communication. You can hear his thoughts, ones that strangely sound like drink drink, drink drink. And really, who are you to refuse such an enticing offer?! As he fucks off to stalk his victims, or play pretend, you take a sip. The cocktail is still sweet, but this time it’s not the icky sweet you had tasted prior. You glance at your sticky notes, ones the roaches can’t see, and nearly spill your drink for the second time today as you jerk.

“Fuck!” You exclaim, shoving your headphones off and spinning in your chair. You hastily stand up, wobble -- the world is pleasantly funny right about now -- and giggle. Stepping past the mountains of abandoned clothes and pillows and blankets and anime plushies, you maneuver your way to your bedside table and yank it open, nearly taking out the whole drawer with you. In the mess of old diaries and bad drawings, pencils, jewelry, and stickers, you fish out something you should not be wielding in your inebriated state.

It’s a knife.

In midst of teenage angst you had ordered it off of Amazon with your mom’s credit card, all the while whining that it’s not a phase, mom, and it’s what all of my cool kid friends with fried hair have, and don’t you want me to fit in, don’t you want your daughter to be happy?! You think it’s about that time, the time of too much uneven eyeliner and black eye shadow, that she took to calling you little raccoon. Trash rabbit was your personal favorite, but she used it sparingly. When you presented your Macy’s outfit, holding up a fucking butterfly knife, to your dad, asking if it was a look, he glanced up from some boring business magazine all boring business dads read and said, with a bright smile might you add, “It’s a something!”.

Oh, how it gleams in the lilac light. You used to do tricks with it, back in eight grade maybe, and--what the fuck? Why did you parents allow you to buy it in the first place? Well, because you’re the only child, the only one important, of course they got it for you and clapped enthusiastically at your performances, because why wouldn’t they? The whining they’d face otherwise would’ve been harder to endure than a whole dance number to Panic! At The Disco’s greatest hits. Broadway looked so fucking shabby in comparison. Your mom said so, so it must be true.

Stumbling back to your extremely confused viewers, you take your seat, feeling a bit more grounded now that you’re not standing on your platform shoes anymore. Putting on your headphones, you grin at the chat that starts swimming, and not from too much drinking either. You do a quick flick of your wrist, one that thankfully doesn’t end in injury, and the sharp tip of the exposed knife points upwards, glimmering. It’s a rainbow colored one, because one, it’s pretty, and two, you weren’t hardcore enough for the jet-black or straight up military ones the other emo kids had. Cute and dangerous, just like you.

So you just sit there, holding it up, looking somewhat sly as the roaches capture this momentous moment with screen-caps. Someone definitely clipped you trudging past the obstacle course to obtain a weapon of mass destruction. You must be already trending on Twitter, though you can’t exactly log on and confirm your suspicions. You just feel like you might be, like you should be, because your audience wouldn’t let this slide. Thankfully, your friends don’t have time to check social media, or you’d be outed in an instant.

“Y/n?” Your roommates voice booms from your headphones, and you perk up with a stupid realization that you completely forgot about Among Us. Stuck at the start, at the lobby where Dream had left you, you see her astronaut waddling to you, “What are you doing here? Wait--Have you not moved from the beginning?” She can barely finish the sentence without giggling. 

You grin, “I was looking for something.”

Your voice is soft, too calm for your usual frantic spill. You gently set the knife down, hand coming to rest on your mouse, fingers idly, slowly, bouncing on the buttons.

“...What were you looking for?” She’s none the wiser, the numerous drinks consumed tonight numbing her sharp mind. She would have noticed. Your eerie composure would’ve given it away in a heartbeat, or at least hinted at something being objectively wrong. But she sounds curious. Poor girl, hasn’t she heard? Curiosity killed the cat.

“A knife.”

“A knife?!” There’s something about her tone that implies a mental clicking, the puzzle pieces falling together, “You have a knife?!”

“Yes.”

“No!”

You think it would only be appropriate that the random sequence of killing animations renders the backstabbing one. You grin, biting your lower lip with a quiet snicker.

i love women

if evil bad...why seggy?

You take your time leaving her there -- in true serial-killer-to-be fashion, you stick around for a bit longer, admiring your handiwork, or more like the chat singing your praises. You joined today with the intent of making an interesting stream. You have no doubt in your mind that now it will be legendary.

You move down the hallway, and you let your imagination wander: you can almost feel the stuffy air of your helmet, can almost hear your loud footsteps echoing in all this hush, can almost see your reflection in the spotless tile floor. It’s not long before your second victim makes an appearance, running circles in Cafeteria. You hear his voice first before you see him, recognizing Alex by his unhinged screech of “Let’s go, let’s go, let’s goooo!” 

“And what’s got you so excited?” How cool and collected you are, gosh, you barely contain the quiver of excitement that threatens to slip out. 

“Y/n!” He exclaims, rushing to your side like a lost puppy--he’s really making this easy for you, he’s not even trying, “You just missed--Oh my fucking God, you just missed James, he-he called me tall, he called me fucking tall! Let’s go, let’s gooooo!”

“Well, you are tall, aren’t you?” You chime sweetly, almost as sweet as the drink that lingers on the tip of your tongue, “Real 6′3 energy, no?”

“Yes, yes, exactly! You get it, you fucking get it--” Once again, his mic goes mute, and you glance at the chat for help.

hard to transcribe what hes saying but hes taking shots and yelling that he loves you good job mom

hey, queen! girl, you have done it again, constantly raising the bar for us all and doing it flawlessly

mom plz dont kill alex hes too cute hes all uwu rn

Oh, how you’re about to break his poor little heart. If you had any good left in you, you’d spare him. You don’t, and you’re not taking requests at the moment, so all you do is smile at your chat and they know. They just do. Hive-mind shit, you’re all two-faced little fuckers.

You giggle, and it sounds a tad fake, “You’re so weird, Alex,” You start, and he’s back in the call, a sound of confusion echoing in your ears, “but I get it, you know. You’re weird. You’re a weirdo. You don’t fit it, and you don’t want to fit in. I mean, really, has anyone even seen you without your stupid hat?”

“...Do--” He sputters, bellowing a laugh, “Do you have that whole fucking monologue memorized?!”

“Is it because you’re bald?”

“I’m not fucking bald!” His giddiness is quickly replaced by anger.

You hum, pretend to think, lastly barking a “Liar.” before you kill him. His scream is cut off, leaving only deafening silence at it’s wake. Unlike with Rae, you don’t stick around. You didn’t appreciate how little he enjoyed your recital.

You run into James near Navigation, most likely on his way to Cafeteria. He ends his song mid-note, and you breathe a sigh of relief, “Finally! Someone! I’ve been looking all over, where the hell is everyone?” You question, blocking his way, lest he accidentally stumbles onto the crime scene and easily pins it on you. You’re not done yet.

“Honestly? No clue. I’m searching for them myself, like, everyone’s scattered. I hope no one died.”

You smile. You tried not to, but you can’t contain it, “Me, too.” You echo the sentiment, urging him to join you, and he does. Too trusting. Everyone in this game is too fucking trusting. You lead him back to Nav, feigning that you have a task here. As you pretend to move the spaceship, you can’t help but ask, “Hey, James?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s your favorite scary movie?”

A beat of silence passes, “Oh no, fuck that, I don’t like this at all.” He states, about to spin on his heel and bolt like he should do, but you’re quicker-- killer instincts and all-- and he’s dead before he makes it out the doorway.

“See, after your No More Lies video, I figured you’d only tell the truth.” Yes, this is the part of the anime where the villain monologues, only the hero in this case is an astronaut cut in half, and not exactly alive to listen to you. You hope James’ ghost sticks around, “Case in point, why the fuck did you tell Quackity he’s tall?” You eye the chat, which’s mostly spamming W and comparing you to Ryo from Devilman Crybaby. “Such a shame...” You murmur, pressing the REPORT button.

“What?! How are so many people dead?!” Ash gasps, her kind voice tinted with fear and confusion. Your three kills, like military stars on an uniform of a distinguished officer, are displayed on the board. Dream appears to be slacking, having yet to take a life.

“Someone’s been real fucking busy.” Charlie observes. It’s true, you have been.

“I found James in Nav, but holy shit--” You begin, exasperated, “--what the fuck, guys, how did we miss this shit? Where is everyone?”

“I’m at Electrical.” Corpse voices.

“And I’m with Corpse.” One sentence is all it takes to figure out your next target: Bretman. Revenge for being killed first in the first goddamn round, and for spending so much time with your boyfriend.

Eep!!! Boyfriend boyfriend boyfriend!!! The word even makes you forget your thirst for blood, that’s how whipped you are. Sadly, it’s time to return to reality, to this grave situation.

“And what have the two of you been conspiring?” You keep your tone level, but that alone is enough to set everyone off. The unease you had planted within them before the game started is starting to bloom. However, if they suspect you, they don’t speak up, not yet.

“Fishnets, mostly.” Corpse says.

only partly a lie he was mostly talking abt u queen <3

corpse simping for y/n is the sweetest thing ever

the times corpse used y/ns name when talking abt y/n: 1. the times he used baby or my baby: infinite

“I’m wearing them right nyoooow.” Bretman drawls.

You hum, “What a coincidence. I am, too.”

“Wait--For real?” That seems to catch Corpse’s attention, because of course it does, you picked them with him in mind, after all.

“No peeping.” You tsk, obviously referring to his tendency to hop onto your stream unprompted. Whether he actually listens to your demands is beyond you, “Peeping means cheating.”

“For the love of fuck all, can we get back to the three dead bodies, please? Because I’m about to have a second coming of Christ moment and taste my consumed, digested beer for the second time.” Charlie interjects.

“I mean, anyone have any ideas who’d do this?” Dream takes hold of the conversation. Quiet, disappointed nos greet him. They have nothing to go on, no clues, not even a subliminal message. With everyone scattered, there is no way of locating the actual bodies and drawing a long red trail leading back to you. 

You’re too good at lying, and Dream is too good of a publicist. People tend to trust his judgement, which is his main asset (besides his calm demeanor of course). When the Among Us gods chose you as Impostor, they made sure you had every advantage. 

“Who-Who do you think it is, Dream?” Ash questions, “I trust you. I do. Just know that.”

“No fucking clue.”

“Y/n?” She tries again.

“Same. I’m a bit worried, though.”

“Let’s, uhhh, let’s skip?” Sykkuno offers. The consensus is to start voting at six. Your new mission is to make sure you dwindle the numbers down drastically before that can happen. You have no qualms about sacrificing Dream in order to meet your goals, either. Absolutely cold blooded.

Back at Cafeteria, there are words exchanged about Quackity’s body just laying there, forgotten. Blame is shifted: how come we didn’t notice sooner? Where’s Rae? And you mindlessly go along with their mourning, not really paying attention. Dream leaves with Charlie and Sykkuno, Corpse requests you stay with him and you sprout fake apologies. Not his time yet. Us girls need to stick together!, you sing, following after Ashley and getting further and further away from him, going deeper and deeper into the labyrinth of the spaceship.

You find yourself in Security with her, her cute astronaut pressed to the cameras, watching the live feed, “Let’s lurk here, okay? Maybe we’ll see something.” If only she saw who was standing behind her. 

“Who do you think is the Impostor?” You ask, standing in the doorway, “Or, more like, who are the Impostors?”

“Honestly?” She ends her word with a little sigh, “I think it might be Corpse and Bretman. I haven’t seen them at all this game.”

You smile, raising your brows, tilting your heard, and you sound so kind, like a dear old friend about to deliver a tender message, “...Have you seen me?”

“SHIT!”

Too late. In one smooth motion she joins the afterlife. You cut the lights, venting mindlessly till you spot Corpse and Bretman panicking in Weapons. Your existence is still a mystery to them.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck--” Corpse mumbles, “Bretman, don’t you dare fucking kill me right now.”

“I’m not Impostor!”

“Okay, I’ll drink to that.”

They rush out of Weapons, most likely on their way to Electrical, and you trail after them like the Grim Reaper itself, biding your time till you can deliver the killing blow.

“Corpse?!” You call out, mild panic ringing in your voice, “Is that you?”

“Shit, Y/n? Where are you?” He questions. Crew vision is so sad, so small, how can he not see you standing almost right next to him? “Where’s Ash?”

“I dunno,” You say, “when the lights went out I ran. Please don’t kill me.”

“I’d never do that, baby.”

Too easy. They’re all too fucking easy. You bite your lower lip, trying to stop the laugh bubbling in your chest, to stop the lightheaded dizziness that overcomes you with a rush of excitement. 

“Thanks, pretty boy.” You mutter, and it sounds a bit lower than you intended, a bit darker, something sinister lurking underneath cotton candy words. It instantly clicks in Bretman and he makes a noise, something like a whine, and you see him backing away, “I know I can always trust you.” 

Whether Corpse notices the odd shift in tone, he doesn’t show it, “I like it when you call me that.” Is all he says, and you hear the smile in his voice, the appreciation. The trek to Electrical is all but forgotten. You slowly make your way to Bretman, “Where are you? Come here.”

“Just a minute,” You say cheerily, “I just need to kill Bret first.”

“Holy shit.”

“N-” Your victim’s sentence is cut off in a second, and you can’t contain your manic cackle this time, because the screen bleeds red, the words VICTORY splattered on it, depicting yours and Dream’s sneaky astronauts. You’re still laughing as the voices of your fallen friends ring in your ears.

“Y/n, what the fuck, you’re an actual monster.” Dream says, but there’s no actual weight behind his words, each syllable punctured with a laugh.

“I knew the second she asked me about my favorite scary movie that I’d get the chop.” James states.

“Wait, Y/n, did you kill everyone?” Corpse questions.

“She fucking did!” Dream answers for you, “I got Charlie and Sykkuno, and barely at that. What the fuck.”

“I’ve been waiting so fucking long for this.” You admit, giggling, raising you glass, “I toast to you, Dream. My perfect partner in crime.”

“I didn’t really do shit, but cheers.”

Quackity heaves a heavy sigh, “Y/n, Y/n, you don’t actually think I’m weird, right? Right?”

“No, she does.” James chimes.

“WHAT THE FUCK DID I EVER DO TO YOU, DUDE?!”

More commotion, more noise, and you just sit there, buzzed, snickering, reading the chat as the rest agree to play another round. You thank the people who donated that you had accidentally missed among the, you know, murder, reply to a few questions, bow dramatically to the many praises and invisible flowers you receive for such beautiful assassin work. When you look back at the screen, you throw your head back with a maniacal laugh.

Impostor again, only this time it’s with Charlie. Family bonds are often restored when united under a common goal. You’re so happy. So happy. You weren’t done terrorizing your friends yet.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos​ - @fairywriter-oracle​ - @tsukishimawh0re​ - @ofstarsanddreams​ - @bbecc-a​ - @annshit​ - @leahh19​ - @letsloveimagines​ - @bellomi-clarke​ - @wineandionysus​ - @guiltydols​ - @onephootinfrontoftheother​ - @liamakorn​ - @thirstyfangirl​ - @lilysdaydreams​ - @pan-ini​ - @mxqicshxp​ - @tanchosanke​ - @yoshinorecommends​ - @flightsandfantasy​ - @liljennyx3​ - @bingusmode - @unknown-and-invisible​ - @sinister-sleep​ - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat​ - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit​ - @unstableye​ - @simonsbluee​ - @shinyshimaagain​ - @ppopty​ - @siriuslystupid​ - @crapimahuman​ - @ofthedewthesunlight​ - @mythicalamphitrite​ - @artsyally​ - @corpsesimpp​ - @corpsewhitetee​ - @corpse-husbandsimp​ - @hyp-oh-critical​ - @roses-and-grasses​ - @rhyrhy462​ - @sparklylandflaplawyer​ - @charbkgo​ - @airwaveee​ - @creativedogs​ - @kaitlyn2907​ - @loxbbg​ - @afuckingunicornn​ - @fleurmoon​ - @yeolliedokai​

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

[thenonbinarydetective]

I literally do not care if this is long. Read it.

@neds-nickerson

Alright so hey we're going to talk about fatphobia because I'm not gonna pretend that issues such as this do not exist in the fandom. Because they do, and not being vocally against it contributes to it.

So Bess Marvin.

She's plus size, she's chubby, she's a big girl, she's fat. We know that and we shouldn't deny that

She's also beautiful, charismatic, compassionate, and a "fraidy cat'

We all know that the books have a history of fat-shaming. Mostly coming from George, who constantly ridiculed her cousin for simply existing. The main target is her weight. I've always said that the rewrites could use another round of rewrites to get rid of the fat-shaming, the rest of the racism, and honestly fix the mysteries a bit. But, you know, the first two are more important.

Something that does stand out about Bess is the way that she really isn't treated like a lot of other plus-size characters. If you compare her directly to Chet Morton, who was fat-shamed way worse and purely existed for comedic relief. Bess is different. How many fat characters can you name that are like Bess? How many are seen as attractive? How many don't exist purely to make fun of their weight? How many constantly stuff their face with food as if it's the only action they're capable of? Compare that with skinny characters.

Bess was allowed to be more complex. She was allowed to be seen as attractive. I remember when y'all practically bullied that person who pointed out that it's actually iconic for Bess to be the one with a more active love life while not exactly fitting the beauty standard. Y'all called them sexist for "putting a women's worth on how men find them attractive" that's not what they meant. You know sometimes when you point out that someone is attractive, you talk about the people that find them attractive.

Which reminds me, the Originals and the Rewrites weren't the only ones that were guilty.

Girl Detective

"She definitely isn't fat. In fact, Bess is totally gorgeous"

Because the two can't exist at the same time?

Bess is the pretty one and she has always been the pretty one, so even with the fat-shaming the originals and rewrites still were able to acknowledge that you can be plus-size and pretty.

But yeah other things go along the "fat can't also mean pretty" line. Files is the literary candidate who made Bess' "weight problem" basically something that she is exaggerating. That she was constantly "ten pounds from being perfect." She was never described as being chubby or plus-size. She actually was canonically thin here. According to them, she just didn't realize it.

Obviously this “making Bess skinny” thing isn't stuck to Files. In fact, there is no live-action Bess Marvin played by a plus-size actress. That is fatphobic. That is just pure fat-phobia and I don't care if you like any of the actresses or not. It is still just fatphobia

It's fatphobic for casting to consider them. It's fatphobic for the creators of any live-action to portray Bess as thin. It's honestly also fatphobic for the thin actress to go for this role. I'm not excluding them because you can fucking research a character from a property that already exists. Especially in modern times with the internet. There is no fucking excuse to not know anything about a character that's existed for 90 FUCKING YEARS.

Even with the swearing, I'm not saying this to be mean towards anyone in particular. I'm being harsh. And there's a difference. All you guys preach positivity and yet you contribute to fatphobia. Think of your fellow fans. You are not only being harmful towards a fictional character, you're harming real people.

Real people are like Bess Marvin or even Chet Morton.

You should be angry at fatphobia.

You should be done with it

You should acknowledge that a character with a far more complex personality than some tropey chubby one-dimensional fuck exists. And you shouldn't take that away.

Acknowledge Bess' weight when you write fanfiction. Acknowledge when you draw fanart. Acknowledge it when you fancast.

Bess Marvin is plus-size. That's it.

[marshmallowgoop]

[Image description: A screenshot from Case Closed Episode One: The Great Detective Turned Small. Remaking a scene from Episode 49 in the anime series, Shinichi tells a surprised Heiji, “Because, there is always only one truth.” End image description.]

Shinichi: Because, there is always only one truth.

Sometimes I think it’s kinda weird that I like Detective Conan/Case Closed so much. I mean, everyone in the show is, uh, well, human?

My favorite fiction niche is supposed to be “monsters,” gosh darn it.

But one of the things that attracts me to “monster” stories is the idea that appearances aren’t everything. What’s underneath the surface says more about a person than any outside crust that they happened to be born into.

Which is why I’m putting “monster” in quotes here. It’s not actual monsters that I adore. The characters I have such an affinity for are those who may be wrongly perceived as monstrous or unimportant because of what they look like.

And thinking of it that way... I can get why the goofy murder anime appeals to me. After all, the boiled-down plot synopsis is that there’s a detective people don’t take seriously because of what he looks like.

But, yeah. Characters by themselves aren’t what motivate me to fall in love with stories. Portraits are nice, but I can tell you that at least my eyes are gonna find themselves far more drawn to paintings with more people. It’s relationships between characters that get me more invested in a work of fiction than anything else, and I don’t just mean the shippy, romantic, lovey-dovey stuff (though that’s fun, too). My real start into vomiting out novel-length blog posts wasn’t purely because I liked a “monster”—it was because I liked (and will always like!) that “monster’s” partnership and camaraderie with someone else.

So, long story short? Detective Conan may not have “monsters,” but you could say that I still like it so much anyway because, at the end of the day, I greatly enjoy many of the relationships portrayed in its hundreds of episodes. And particularly, with this overly long preamble in mind, I love the relationship between Shinichi/Conan and Heiji. Because while Conan may not be a fish creature or space alien, he is so often not seen for who he really is. 

But Heiji... well. He kind of struggles to see Conan for anything but who he really is.

[Image descriptions: Two screenshots from Episode 77 of Detective Conan. In the first image, Heiji stands next to his father and waves, saying, “Heya, Kudo! How ya been?!” In the second image, Kogoro, Ran, and Conan appear shocked. Kogoro shouts, “Hattori Heiji?!” Ran asks, “Kudo?” End image descriptions.]

Heiji: Heya, Kudo! How ya been?!

Kogoro: Hattori Heiji?!

Ran: Kudo?

Which, yes. That Heiji sucks so much at this can be detrimental and troublesome and dangerous. I’m not at all trying to advocate that the guy should go around loudly calling Conan “Kudo.”

But when he’s not doing that, I find his relationship with Shinichi/Conan endlessly endearing. Conan’s so used to lying and pretending to be someone he’s not, but he doesn’t have to with Heiji. He can be himself. They can solve mysteries together as if Shinichi had never crossed paths with the Black Organization at all.

Of course, Conan doesn’t have to pitch up his voice and act silly with other characters in the show, either. And I also like those relationships a lot! And I’ll probably/maybe/someday write more about them in the future, too. But while I’m focusing on Heiji, one thing that gets me is just how quick he is at looking beyond appearances. Even before Heiji realizes Conan’s true identity, even when he’d only really met Shinichi once but finds himself absolutely enamored of him regardless (see the top of this post), Heiji still doesn’t take much time at all to recognize Shinichi’s intellect in Conan, and he treats Conan much like he’d treat the guy he desperately wants to see: 

[Image descriptions: Screenshots from Episode 58 of Detective Conan. In the first image, Heiji, with a troubled expression on his face, says, “Yeah, but something’s not quite right.” In the second image, Conan is shown beside Heiji. Heiji adds, “Right, boy?” Conan agrees, saying, “Yeah.” End image descriptions.]

Heiji: Yeah, but something’s not quite right. Right, boy?

Conan: Yeah.

And, I mean. This is before Heiji even explicitly and consciously suspects that Conan and Shinichi are one and the same. He just knows the kid’s smart and figures that “Kogoro’s” deductions are actually coming from someone dozens of centimeters smaller.

Which... I really like. It’s undoubtedly sweet that Heiji then immediately makes the connection to Shinichi after Conan explains his thoughts... 

[Image description: A screenshot from Episode 58 of Detective Conan. Ran scolds Conan for getting involved in the current case while Heiji, offscreen, thinks to himself, “His voice and body are different, but he’s almost just like Kudo!” End image description.]

Heiji (thinking): His voice and body are different, but he’s almost just like Kudo!

But I love that even prior to the Shinichi link, Heiji doesn’t discourage Conan. I love that no matter how young Conan seems, Heiji understands that he has good things to say and should be listened to. 

I mean. That is kinda part of why I like my “monster” niche so much.

(I’m also fond of an anime-only filler episode (36) that explores this topic in more depth, but that’s an essay for another day. Still, maybe another reason I’m so fond of Detective Conan is because I can relate to being babied... but admittedly, that’s at least as much to do with my personality as it is my looks.)

Anyway. This post’s gotten much longer than I intended. But I do wanna talk about one more thing that really cements this “looking beyond the surface” aspect of Shinichi/Conan’s relationship with Heiji, and that’s Heiji’s bad dream described in Episode 118:

[Image descriptions: Screenshots from Episode 118 of Detective Conan. The first image is a close-up shot of Heiji. He says, “I had a bad dream...” The next two images zoom out, showing Heiji’s back and Conan beside him. In the second image, Conan asks, “Dream?” Heiji replies, “Yeah. It happens when we catch a bad guy.” In the third image, Heiji finishes, “But he winds up stabbing and killing you instead!” End image descriptions.]

Heiji: I had a bad dream...

Conan: Dream?

Heiji: Yeah. It happens when we catch a bad guy. But he winds up stabbing and killing you instead!

In Funimation’s English dub, Heiji even tries to further play off how much the dream bothered him, joking, “Like you could ever catch a suspect!”

But it becomes clear later in the episode that Heiji never dreamed of Conan getting stabbed and killed, even if that’s what almost happens near the end. Heiji’s nightmare involved only Shinichi getting hurt:

[Image description: A screenshot from Episode 118 of Detective Conan. Conan has his hand on his face in thought, while in the background, Heiji imagines Shinichi in pain, clutching a bloody wound on his chest. End image description.]

Because, in the end? That’s how Heiji always sees the guy. As himself.

And I absolutely adore it.

[jawabear]

Hypothetical (Javier Pena X Reader)

Not My GIF

A/N: So, firstly I want to start by saying thanks for 200 followers?!?!?!? like that is awesome!! Secondly, this was a request that I had a lot of fun writing! and I actually really like it, I hope you do too. Also, for the Spanish parts I used google translate because I don’t speak the language so it maybe wont be entirely accurate. Sorry for any mistakes. Stay safe :)

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: fem!reader, none really, Soft!Javi, drinking, Pedro Pascal comes with his own warning 

Summary: There’s this one girl who he really likes, hypothetically what would happen if he asked her out?

Javier let out a deep sigh as he pulled up outside his favourite bar. It was a small and quiet place so it was perfect for him, someone who spends all day surrounded by people who couldn’t careless about him or anything else really. But the main reason he went there was because of the barmaid that was always working on his drinking time. If anyone could make him feel better about his shit life, it was her.

His entrance into the bar was the same as it had been since the first time he ever went there. The bar was quiet, a few regulars scattered about the place, a quiet but almost obvious song playing in the background. And (Y/N), the barmaid, was making and servings drinks between wiping down the bar, making light but idle chat with the ones she served and the ones who sat at the bar.

If we go by the story that barmaids are there to listen to problems, (Y/N) certainly is the perfect barmaid. She was always a welcome listener if anyone ever had an issue. She was nice to talk to. She was a friend to all, but she could be firm when she needed to. That was evident to Javi when one guy started getting a little too flirty and a little to handsy towards her, she firmly put him in his place that shocked everyone, and Javi hadn’t ever seen that guy again.

Javi sat in his regular seat, (Y/N) was talking to someone else. Oscar, his name was, if Javier remembered correctly. A writer, not a journalist, a writer. Apparently he was writing a fictional book, something to do with mysteries and detectives, most likely a children’s book but who was Javi to judge? If it worked out for him, go for it. It wasn’t like Javier was any better off, hating every second of his infuriating life, but in a strange way he knew he wouldn’t change it. Yet.

(Y/N) seemed to clock Javi’s presence and skilfully managed to shorten the conversation without making it seem like she was trying to get away from Oscar. She didn’t even need to ask Javier what he wanted, she had known him long enough to know what drink he was in the mood for, and right now he was in the mood for whiskey on ice.

She gently placed the glass in front of him with a smile before leaning on the bar in front of him “tough day?” She asked quietly.

He nodded and took a large swig on his freshly poured drink “it always is (Y/N)” he told her flatly.

“You should take a day off” she said pushing herself off the bar and preparing drinks for other who had just walked in. She had a great memory and knew exactly what drink to make each person, this didn’t make Javi seem as special to her as he would like, but she did seem to spend more time talking to him then anyone else in the bar. “You’ll work yourself to death”

“If only” he laughed dryly “anything to get out of this...constant loop of failure” he took his drink in his hand and gently swirled the amber liquid.

“Javier, in all seriousness, I really do think you should have at least one day off. It’s not healthy working as much as you do, especially in the job that you do” she served a few others, giving them polite smiles as she continued talking to Javi.

“It’s because of what I do that I don’t think I’ll be able to get a day off” he said. She let out a defeated sigh and came back to stand in front of him again.

“I still think you should try” she said

“And do what, on my hypothetical day off?”

“Well, you could hypothetically relax. Take some time for yourself. Or...we could...hypothetically maybe go out..or something” her gaze had shifted to the cloth she used to wipe down the bar which suddenly seemed like the most interesting thing in the world.

“You mean like a hypothetical date?” He asked takin a smug sip of his now empty drink.

She took the glass from him and began to refill it “unless you don’t want to...in which case that’s fine...”

“And... what if I did want too?” He asked as she set his refilled glass in front of him. “What would you say?”

“Then I’d say ask for a day off, and that I work 6-10pm Monday through Friday and 5-11:30pm on weekends” she smiled sheepishly as she went about cleaning a glass before filling it for another customer.

“I think,” he began, rather proudly, “If I’m taking a day off, hypothetically of course, then you should take a day off too”

“I only work nights Javi” she chuckled.

“That may be” he hummed, swirling the amber liquid in his glass “but those nights must be long. Especially when you have people like me giving you sob stories”

“I don’t mind it” she said quietly as she lent on the bar. He instinctively moved forward looking at her with fondness in his eyes which she returned. “It’s good company”

“Yeah?” He said just as quietly, a softness in his voice that was new to her. It was as if in that moment all his worries had slipped away and he was just a normal guy with a normal girl.

“Yeah” she agreed softly.

“Tomorrow? Here, at six?” He offered quickly.

“It’s a date” she smiled.

Tomorrow, there, at six couldn’t come quick enough for him. He had somehow managed to grab a day off which didn’t do him any favours. He should’ve been relaxing but he was far too excited to relax. He felt young. Like a lovesick teenager asking his crush out or something. But in some respects, that what he was. He certainly liked her, no one made his day quite like she did. He was giddy at the thought of actually going in a date with her.

Luckily for him, the day seemed to fly past and soon it was coming up on six. Javi pulled up to the bar and made his way inside. She wasn’t behind the bar. Instead it was a young blonde girl who he had never seen before. But he wasn’t too bothered about that. His girl was sat at the bar swirling her drink in her glass before taking a sip of it.

He couldn’t help but smile. Butterflies swirled in his stomach. He felt amazing. He was quick to compose himself and casually walked over to the bar taking up the seat beside her. She didn’t clock him at first, only turning to look at him when he spoke.

“So, do you come here often?” He asked in a smooth voice, hiding his giddiness well.

She turned her head and looked at him. Her eyes softened as soon as they met his and she smiled softly at him as she placed her drink back down. “Considering I work here,” she said “yes. What about you? Are you a frequent visitor or are you just passing by?” She asked resting her elbow in the bar and her chin on her open palm as she looked at him with the same fondness as the day before.

“Frequent. But with company like this, can you blame me?”

“Certainly not” she smiled.

He gave her a quick scan up and down, a soft smile finding its way to his face, “you look positively stunning tonight”

(Y/N) let out a nervous laugh and turned her gaze away from him briefly “thank you Javi. You don’t look too bad yourself” she said looking back at him “clearly a day off has refreshed you”

“I have to admit, I haven’t done much relaxing”

“Oh? What have you been doing instead?”

Being far too excited about this date is what he wanted to say. “Just stuff” he said “my job had made it so I find it pretty much impossible to sit down for a while”

“That’s a real shame. I think I relaxed too much” she laughed “I didn’t get out of bed until 1. I was still in my pyjamas an hour ago”

He laughed at her words. He ordered a drink and they moved to a free table near the back of the bar where they sat, drank, spoke and laughed for the remainder of the night. Right up until closing time. Maybe he didn’t spend his day relaxing, but that night with her made him feel more relaxed then he ever had in his life.

But nothing good lasts forever. And they both soon found themselves outside her apartment. “Well, this is me” she said gesturing awkwardly to the door.

“I really enjoyed tonight” they both said at the same time making them both laugh.

“I really did” Javi continued, “and I should thank you. If it weren’t for you, I probably would be working myself to death. But it was nice to have a day off. A real one”

“You don’t need to thank me. You deserve a break. You work so hard and do so much for the people in this country and quite possibly the world. That’s a heavy burden to bear. But you bear it because it’s the right thing to do. Even if you have to shake the wrong hands to get there”

“I wish I shared your confidence” he said “sometimes I think we’re no worse then they are...”

She stepped forwards and placed a soft kiss on his cheek “you’re nothing like they are. You’re a good person Javi. A good person, with a kind heart. And I’m always here for you should you need me”

For a moment they stood in silence looking at each other before Javi made the move, taking her face between his hands and pressing his lips to hers. She brought her hands to rest on his waist lightly as she sunk into his kiss which she had long desired. It was so much better then she could’ve ever imagined. It was so gentle and loving, but yet a passion in it that made her stomach flip every which way possible.

He slowly pulled away from her, resting his forehead against hers. She smiled as they swapped their hand positions, his hands falling to her waist whilst her hands rose to rest on his cheeks. “I feel like that was long overdue” he said. She laughed softly and hummed with a nod.

“Yes. But hopefully we can make up for lost time” she said.

“Oh, for sure” he said before kiss her again, this time a little more deeply, a little more passionately. But it was just as thing were really staring to get going that the clicking of a door was heard, ignored at first but then a voice came which was less ignorable.

“(Y/N)? ¿Eres tú, querida?” (Is that you, dear?) A aged female voice came from two doors down. (Y/N)’s landlord. A nice lady, a very sweet lady. A lot nicer then most landlords in the world. (Y/N) and Javi pulled away from each other and (Y/N) looked over to the older lady, Mrs Ortega. She was wearing a light pink dressing gown, slippers and a night cap over her grey hair. Round glasses on her nose but she still had to squint to see the figures clearly.

“sí, señora Ortega. Lo siento, no quise despertarte” (Yes, Mrs Ortega. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you) (Y/N) apologised quietly, wondering if she would end up waking any other who were in the floor.

“Veo que tienes una amiga contigo” (I see you have a friend) she said with a hint of a smirk as she looked between (Y/N) and Javi who were still very close to each other.

“buenas noches señora” (good evening, ma’am) Javi said politely with a slight nod.

“Los dejo a los dos. Buenas noches querido” (I’ll leave you both to it. Good night, dear) she turned with a slight wave and waddled back into her apartment.

“buenas noches” (good night) (Y/N) called back quietly before the door was shut. She turned back to Javi who was looking lovingly at her, his nose now pressed against hers.

“tu español es sexy” (your Spanish is sexy) Javi said in a deep voice. “I never knew it was that good”

“I’m glad you think it’s good” she smiled. She paused for a moment and looked down, thinking over her next words. “Would-Would you like to come in?” She asked in a small voice, scared of rejection from him.

“Yes” He said simply. She smiled and turned to unlock her door “I have a late start tomorrow, so we should be fine”

“What do you think we would get up to to make you late anyway?” She asked as she opened her door and turned back to face him.

“Something hypothetical” he said before wrapping his arms around her and kissing her again as they fell into her apartment.

09/12/20

[arthur-j-raffles]

Hey, why do you think people get upset (especially purists) with the concept of Johnlock when it's been here for ages? I love the thrilling impulsive disordered way Sherlock thinks and acts (like my ADHD, OCD, and other mental disorders which I headcanon Sherlock to have.) alongside his nurturing and supportive Boswell (like my fiancé). They're flirty, fun, and affectionate with their jokes and laughs with each other throughout their mysteries, and that comforts me. Canon is damned and I don't care what Conan's opinions are if it makes me happy. Why are people so sour, salty, and act like the idea of me writing fanfiction and buying fanart of my first ship at 12 (when I first read Sherlock from the public library with my nana a decade ago) is the worst thing in all of existence and ruins Sherlock Holmes? Am I the crazy one or is everyone else who's crazy? (Btw it's nice to see someone on Tumblr who loves the OG turn of the last century version Sherlock than the terrible show alongside Lupin and Raffles.)

Hi anon! I know you probably just asked this question to get me to respond about how it’s ridiculous that anyone would get that upset about a fictional ship, but this question got me thinking for a bit. I’m one of the most biased sources here (i’ve made posts about how i don’t tag John/Sherlock because it should be a given, etc.), but I’ll try to respond to this question with an honest and fair answer because there are a lot of factors as to why people get upset at John/Sherlock.

Below the cut I’ll talk about:

1. Cultural Osmosis

2. 19th Century Friendship

3. Distaste for Shipping

4. Homophobia

1. Cultural Osmosis

One of the reasons I think is most prevalent is that people who have never read or watched any Sherlock Holmes content assume because it’s so old and so popular that they’ve somehow absorbed enough of it through pop culture and references that they know what Sherlock is like via cultural osmosis. They know he’s deductive and doesn’t like people, so they assume he’s cold, always calculated, and the pinnacle of detective perfection. They know John is the narrator and Sherlock’s friend, so they just assume John is basic, boring, and so uninteresting that he’s barely in Sherlock’s social circle, but merely tags along with him. This vision of both of the characters is skewed so far from the canon that people either can’t fathom how you ship these two characters who in their minds are very incompatible, or the more common thing, people have a preconceived notion that you’re looking too much into it because nothing old and published can be gay.

(This kind of thing isn’t just exclusive to Sherlock, either. People will also gawk at the idea of Spock/Kirk from Star Trek TOS because they assume they know what TOS is without even watching it because they’ve seen the cultural impact of “beam me up, Scotty” and “live long and prosper.” They create a mental image of TOS that’s mostly full of their own assumptions, and gay subtext isn’t one of their expectations.)

2. 19th Century Friendship

Another reason is that historical male friendships are different than what the typical male friendship is now. In the 19th century, men were more open to showing affection for each other in strong ways. Photos from the century show male friend groups openly holding hands, arm in arm, and helping light each other’s cigarettes. Obviously a lot of men are shaking off ideas of “manliness” that limit the way they can express their platonic love to their friends, but there’s still a lot of men that won’t hold their best friend’s hands because “that’s just weird/that’s gay.” This is all a long-winded way of saying that, to some people, Sherlock and John are the pinnacle of close male friendship in the 19th century. They are the perfect show of platonic affection between men, something that some people look up to and aspire towards. To people who think of Sherlock and John as exclusively best friends, they may feel offended or baffled that anyone would try to “ruin” that friendship by making the two lovers. That’s why some people who are legitimate fans of Sherlock Holmes may take offense to the ship: they think it ruins the friendship between the characters.

3. Distaste for Shipping

It isn’t uncommon for fans of a series to have a distaste for shipping elements, especially for a series whose sole focus isn’t romance. Sherlock Holmes is in no way a romance, and some people feel that shipping shouldn’t be the focus of fandom content because the source material isn’t romantic. People who want to focus on mystery and suspense elements may believe that shipping ruins what fans should be focusing on and appreciating in the franchise. And they have some merit in thinking that shipping can ruin the focus of a franchise, because there are definitely some fandom subcultures out there that ignore important themes and messages in shows to instead focus on their ship. But, this is an over-generalization of any fandom, clearly.

The above reasons for someone disliking Sherlock/John are not malicious. They assume the person is well-intentioned but misguided. In the cultural osmosis example, the person just doesn’t understand the source material and thus doesn’t understand the ship. In the friendship example, the person just wants to see a male friendship that isn’t toxic, and mistakes the act of shipping for throwing away that interpretation entirely. In the distaste for shipping example, the person just wants to focus on the themes of Holmes and not the romantic subtext. However, saying that everyone who gets upset at shipping John/Sherlock is well-intentioned would be a lie.

4. Homophobia

There’s an obvious reason of—whether implicit or explicit—homophobia when some people get downright disgusted or outraged that someone would ship John/Sherlock. I don’t think it needs explanation as to what homophobia is, but Sherlock/John especially outrages people more than other gay ships because the characters are classic. Sherlock is known throughout the world, everyone knows his name even if they’ve never read any of the stories, and his iconography—smoking pipe, hat, and jacket—have become well-recognized. It makes ignorant people boil over when you say that this iconic character who has remarkable impact on the world may be gay, asexual, or transgender. They think that lgbtq identities are something taboo or something to be ignored. To them, lgbtq characters should be background noise at most. And vocalizing that you see John/Sherlock subtext in their interactions destroys that.

TL;DR: Some people may be upset by John/Sherlock because they don’t understand the source material, they think shipping destroys a friendship dynamic they liked, or they feel that shipping takes away from the story. Some people may be upset by John/Sherlock because of ignorance and homophobia.

[cantillat-moved]

@more-than-a-princess​ 📝 + I'm not sure what fandoms you know or not...so how about otome games (any otome character!) and fictional detectives who aren't Kyoko Kirigiri? (I feel like a lot of the fandoms I'd ask about you already write muses for :D)

Sᴇɴᴅ ᴍᴇ “📝 + (ғᴀɴᴅᴏᴍ)” ᴀɴᴅ I’ʟʟ ʀᴇᴘʟʏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ I ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ RP ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ғᴀɴᴅᴏᴍ

Me right now: oh no, I don’t play otomes. While I do play a fair share of visual novels, romance isn’t my thing.  Then I found out at least two otomes in my library that are also murder mysteries so maybe I should give them a try. But rn the only otome I’ve played was Code : Realize and it has been like... 2 years. I think I enjoyed Arsene (but he was the main interest), I’m always biased towards Suwabe characters and Dracula so Van would also be a good pick although I’d rework his background, or even Fran (fun fact: he was the first route I did) and I’d likely try to make a Fate verse for him so he could interact with the Fate version of the creature (and be a less asshole-ish version of the real Fate Victor)

Fictional detectives.. Does Batman count? Ok, jokes aside. Maybe Hercule Poirot or Margreit. Or perhaps even use Elementary as basis to build my own version of Holmes (or even use it as a template for a Poirot).  One more thing: Columbo could also be cool. 

[sou-ver-2-0]

Writing Master List

I love writing analysis and fanfiction for Your Turn to Die. Here, you can find links to all my writing. Spoilers abound!

Meta I’m Proudest Of

Why Calling It “Logic Versus Emotion” Makes Sense

Sou Hiyori and Kanna’s Sister Parallels

I was wondering why Sou had a zero percent survival rate…

What is Sou proudest of?

What is Kanna proudest of?

What is Keiji proudest of?

Unpopular opinion about Keiji

What are your thoughts on Nao as a character?

Why pushing Fake Reko is logical and sparing her is emotional

Shin vs. Kanna choice: each “valid in its own way”

That was a real comedy of errors on your part, Shin

What “Things” did Shin learn at Sou’s House?

If I could kill Keiji to save both Kanna and Shin...

Thoughts on queer-coded villains and Shin

I make Shin say five nice things about Keiji (not meta, but important)

Some jumbled thoughts about Redemption, and Part 2

How different do you think the story would be if Shin were a girl?

Theories

“Midori is Meister’s son,” and other Sou theories <- my favorite theory!

The Hades Incident, the Present Death Game, and the Role of the Man from the Memorandum

Rambling about Meister Family Theory

A Quick Keiji Theory

I’m staking my pride on this one: Keiji won’t die in the coffin. Part 1 and Part 2

Implications of Kanna being Original Sou’s blood relative

The Mystery of Anzu’s High Survival Rate

Fanfiction

My username is Florencetheflowerfairy on Ao3! Any fanfiction I write will be tagged “my fanfiction” on here.

I haven’t yet posted this to Ao3.

My fanart

Soup Hiyori

Happy birthday Kanna!

All of my meta

How does Sou deal with pain?

When does Sou feel safest? What would others change about him?

What would the others change about Sara?

What do I wish to see happen with Sou?

Chapter 3 Prediction: Sara will lose Keiji

Sou & Keiji’s relationship thoughts; and Personal Headcanons

Opinion on Midori / Original Sou; and Opinion on YTTS

Thoughts on Kurumada’s Partnership with Sou and Kanna

What calms Sou when he’s upset?

What does Sou wish he could change about himself?

Who would be Sou’s favorite fictional character?

What would EVERYONE change about Sou?

How did both Sous do in school?

Who does Sou want to please the most?

How would Kanna spend her money?

What calms Kai when he’s upset? How does Kai deal with pain?

How does Kanna do in school? What’s something Original Sou lost that he would love to have back?

What’s something I wish had happened with Joe?

Unpopular opinion about Q-Taro

What’s something I wish had happened with the Yabusame siblings?

Unpopular opinion about Kai

Unpopular opinion about Original Sou

Who would I vote for in the Second Main Game?

Laughing at Q-Taro in Russian Roulette

Speaking of “I laugh at inappropriate moments in YTTD”

Math Saga (Collection of Theorizing Posts about the Percentage Papers)

Why Kanna can’t take the scarf

More Scarf Meta

I think Shin should fake amnesia in the zaniest way possible, please

Thoughts on Mr. Policeman is Joe’s Dad Theory, Parts 1 and 2 (Some of these thoughts are outdated because I don’t think Keiji knew Joe’s last name in the beginning.)

If I ever seem too harsh on Keiji, please keep in mind

We can hear Joe’s music theme in Midori’s music theme

Thoughts on the Floor Masters

Did Shin send the Sacrifice Card to Joe?

What if Joe had one month to live?

What is Original Sou proud of?

Reading Shin as Queer

Alice and Pain

What would other people change about Kai?

Could Shin and Keiji’s roles switch?

What was Keiji like before the shooting?

I encouraged Sister to vote for Kai in Practice Round

How does Original Sou/Midori sleep?

Who do you think Keiji would bond with the most?

Analysis of Sara’s vote in the Practice Vote

Massacre Ending Thoughts

Thoughts on Naosara?

Dummy Bullet Saga (How did Shin know about dummy bullets??)

Keiji is my Confront Character

What will the fallout with the dummies look like?

Keiji seeing the percentage papers is the simplest answer IMO

Thoughts on Keialice

Thoughts on Joesara

Shin Tsukimi could have DIED ON HIS BIRTHDAY?!

Shin is Poor! Part 1 and Part 2 and Part 3

One more funny story, on a walk with Sister...

How would Shin have fared in the Death Game without the Sou persona?

Is Shin too good for this world? (Reaction to above meta)

How would Joe, Kai, and Mishima approach the Second Main Game vote?

What do you think would be Shin’s partnership ability?

Thoughts on AI personalities

Reaction to ‘Sara gets the Sage Card’ Theory

Have you considered the implications of 0.0% vs. 0%?

Foolish Sara AU

When does the Death Game take place, and how long are they there?

Shin’s relationships with Reko and Gin

“When you drink, you gotta be careful not to get swallowed up yourself.”

Judge Keiji by the fact that he’s acting like a cop

I’ve switched to calling him Shin! 

What was Shin like in the years after Original Sou died, but before the Death Game?

Headcanons and Shin, Kanna, and trading tokens

Analyzing Shin and Sara’s doll placements in Safalin’s lab

Shin’s reaction to Sara’s “Haven’t we always been the bestest of friends?”

Scenario: Keymaster Kanna takes Shin’s key necklace instead of his scarf

Artists should draw Kanna grieving Shin however they like

Nao and Shin’s friendship

“I happen to like people with nice personalities”

I’m just putting these here so I can find them if necessary: 1, 2, 3

What if Shin thinks Sara is an adult?

Shrodinger’s Lock Saga (Many theories came from speculating about Asu-Naro’s weird locks in Sara’s first trial!)

Shin emulating Sou, oh no

Some thoughts on Shin and Alice, and the darker side to their relationship

A Serious Analysis of the Collarbone Sprites (& other Shin sprites)

Midori and Joe Sprite Parallels

Do you think Ranmaru is more or less reliable than Keiji?

Ranmaru and Keiji Parallels and Thoughts on Keiji flirting

Ranmaru and Keiji reacting to Joe

Out of the cast, who do you think is most likely to be the mastermind?

Miley vs. Gashu thoughts

Megumi Sasahara theories and headcanons

I love that this game’s heart is so earnest

AU where Shin has the Sacrifice, and he can’t pick Kanna

Theory/Headcanon: Sou-Shin-Sara-Kanna three year age gaps

Scenery Paintings in the Gallery

Kanna and Original Sou Parallel - “creepy smiles”

Undertale Parallels, and making Original Sou sympathetic

Kai and Original Sou Parallels

Fic ideas: Green-haired characters, and Shin + Sara Friendship

I love Fake Reko so much!

What if the decision to push Fake Reko affects what happens with the dummies?

Follow-up to above meta about Fake Reko

What if Joe died in his First Trial?

Reaction to Keiji Discourse about flirting, Part 2

Reactions to Fem!Shin:

Kanna’s perspective, Bath Scene Shin, More Bath Scene, Keiji flirting with Shin, I DON’T CARE HOW SEXY HE IS, Am I a lesbian

Will the dummies want to fill in for their counterparts’ lives?

Q-Taro Pacman Sister Theory

Poison Stinger analysis and Rio Ranger’s characterization

Megumi returns as a doll theory

More thoughts on “Back Up Candidates” Theory

Thoughts on AIs representing younger personalities

What if the current Death Game is another simulation?

Shin and Q-Taro ages musings

Shin and Sara ages musings

Honorifics Analysis: Part 1 and Part 2

Everyone’s music preferences headcanons

Shin’s thoughts on Gin in Logic Route

What if Shin died and Kai survived in the Second Main Game?

Imagine Trans Kanna

Thoughts on the names Sara “suspects” when learning that there is a human from Asu-Naro among us

Why doesn’t Shin challenge Keiji for lying that he’s a detective at the start?

Shipping

Which death hurt you the most?

Who do you think is overrated? Who do you think is suspicious?

Shin-Sou roleswap AU

Did you ever notice how Shin is crying during the First Main Game?

How do you think the characters sleep?

What if Shin became Sara’s ally instead of Keiji?

Seven Deadly Sins in YTTD

Song Analyses

“Rat” by Penelope Scott

“Villainous Thing” by Shayfer James

“Nearly Witches (Ever Since We Met)” by Panic! at the Disco

“Butterflies and Hurricanes” by Muse

"House of memories" by Panic! at the Disco

More fun posts

Sister tag (All submissions by my sister)

Sometimes I get self-conscious for loving Sou Hiyori so much

Thinking about how our Sou Hiyori is a queer-coded villainous type

Picrew of the Greenblings

Fannish ramblings and Speculation about Voting for Keiji in 2nd Main Game

Sou has a halo in the manga

Sprite Parallels between Kanna, Sara, and Sou

Confession: Character development is more important than plot twists

Star Wars KOTOR musings

My Favorite Thing about Sou and Sara meeting

Another Greenblings Picrew

How to roast my fave

Are the greenblings next to each other??

Me feeling soft about Sou x Alice and Sou x Kai in spite of myself

I’m too much of a nerd for tumblr

Picrew of Green-haired characters and Sara

Cute Kurumada and Kanna headcanons

Do it for Nao

Happy birthday Keiji, from Sou

Danganronpa Thoughts as of 10/22/20

Top 3 emotional moments

Comparing Eye Sizes

I’m all caught up with 3-1A as of 10/24/20

Link to my “Shin attacking Inbox” edit

I am my PFP

“Disclosure” apparently means “Coming Out”

What did you name your Midori?

Do you think Shin was a gamer?

PMMM Thoughts: Logic vs Emotion

Why would you make Shin a tank?!

Dracula is Sou and Shin is Renfield

Among Us Headcanon

I just think Kanna having the Keymaster first is good drama

So long you fucking fascist (posted on 11/7/20)

Please don’t send me leaks!

Also how are we going to tag spoilers...? (11/12/20)

oh no I’m getting sentimental

Shin and Sara’s confrontation over the smartphone remains my favorite thing ever

Reactions to “I make Shin say five nice things about Keiji”: 1, 2, 3

A Rewarding part of my blog

My undying love for Britney Spears

“Ahaha, I’m glad you remembered my name.”

I love this picrew for the Greenblings

“Saw” and “Cage” on Google Translate

What if there were two Gonbee Yamadas?

Put them in meme boxes

Keiji’s emo eyeliner

Shin can smash something! and part 2

Acrostic Poem for Sou Hiyori

Midori’s canon voice

“Sou” puns

Time sensitive questions!! 1 and 2

All the characters’ ages

Do you think Shin swears?

Let’s not pit bears and twinks against each other!

Here’s how Shindemption can still win

tfw you draw fanart in time for Kanna’s birthday

Keiji accuses Shin of breaking Mishima’s monitor even though he KNOWS Shin is innocent

Q-Taro and Shin college AU

Kugie’s ghost haunting Keiji

Christmas 2020: Part 1 and Part 2

Picrew of Shin and Sou, High School Days~

I struggle to write villains

I play Villains Bingo with Shin

…

This list will be updated sporadically as I write more! You can always use the “mine” tag to find any worthwhile original post I make.

Please feel free to talk to me about YTTD anytime! I love hearing from you all! It keeps me motivated and makes me happy to meet people!

[partywithponies]

Hi I don't really interact with you but I've been pondering over watching father brown sometime in the future and I just wanted to know exactly what it's about and why you like it so much :)

Okay SO

Let's start at the very beginning.

Way back in July of 1910, noted detective fiction author, journalist, philosopher, first president of The Detection Club (though not yet, it wasn't founded until 1930), and very devout Christian man G.K. Chesterton wrote a short story for a fiction magazine. That story was titled Valentin Follows A Curious Trail, and told the tale of great French detective Inspector Aristide Valentin, who has tracked notorious criminal Hercule Flambeau, master of disguise and Europe's most wanted, doggedly for years, and has finally followed Flambeau to London, where he has absconded with a priest, hoping to steal the priest’s priceless blue cross. Valentin follows to pair across London, following a trail of odd behaviour, only to find that the priest knew Flambeau was Flambeau the whole time, and had been deliberately leaving a trail of odd behaviour so the Inspector could track them, while leading Flambeau on a long walk so they could talk, and had long simce stolen his cross back again without Flambeau noticing. Valentin and Flambeau both bow to the little priest because he's bested both of them and it's all very lovely.

Anyway Chesterton carried on writing more and more and more short stories, this time with the little priest, Father Brown as the main character instead of Valentin, and Valentin Follows A Curious Trail was retitled The Blue Cross, and made the first Father Brown story. The Father Brown stories are notable in a few ways. Rather than solve crimes through cold logic and deduction like Sherlock Holmes, Father Brown solves crimes through really understanding people, and through sympathises and empathising with people, and putting himself in criminal's shoes and trying to understand why they think like they do, and feeling how they would've felt. King. In fact, a few times the books deliberately make fun of the Sherlock Holmes methods of deduction, and point out that these cold facts could point to any number of explanations, if you don’t factor in thoughts and feelings. Iconic. As the books go on, the character of Father Brown becomes more and more just a mouthpiece for all Chesterton's personal political beliefs. Like that time Father Brown said that wanting to murder a millionaire the most understandable and natural thing in the world, and that time Father Brown called capitalism "heresy" and "evil". That was great. What's really great about the books is how they subvert a lot of the expectations of the genre before subverting expectations was even cool, and how multi-layered and complex the characters are for the era of fiction. Flambeau, introduced as a notorious criminal with no morals, becomes Father Brown’s best (and only) friend, goes on fun holidays with Father Brown, and proves willing to go to ridiculous lengths to protect Father Brown, while Valentin, introduced as the respected and distinguished unshakeable great detective, commits murder himself, and then commits suicide when confronted about the reality of what he did. ( 😭 )

The Father Brown stories have been adapted a total of 14 times! 10 times for TV and film, and 4 times for radio. (Only 6 of the 10 TV and film adaptations are in English though. 3 of them are in German, which I understand a little, and 1 is in Italian, which I don't understand at all, but don't worry about it.) They are of varying quality but they all have things to love about them and they all have a special place in my heart!!

Which brings us to the present day! BBC Father Brown is a BBC drama adaptation starting in 2013 and still going! Mark Williams plays Father Brown, and is BRILLIANT. The show is set in an eternal summer 1953 (it's best not to question it), a surprising time for it to be set considering Chesterton died in 1936, but the aesthetics slap so I'll allow it. Mark Williams Father Brown is much like book Father Brown except taller, he has less open disdain for the rich and the aristocracy, he actually does his goddamn job, and he has more than one friend now!! Good for him!! So anyway Father Brown solves murders and stuff with his fun little scooby gang of misfits, stopping occasionally to say gay rights, it's great. Flambeau still exists too! He's a bitch and I love him so much.

To my mind BBC Father Brown is everything BBC Sherlock should have been, in terms of adaptating a golden age detective series for a modern audience. It's diverse, and relatable, and knows how to tell a good mystery, and it isn't even as political as the books its based, no matter what the negative reviewers say. It can be serious, or dark, or emotional, without ever being depressing or needlessly gritty or edgy, it's always positive and uplifting, and isn't afraid to be very very silly.

Anyway this was long and rambling, hope this helped!

[lovemesomesurveys]

Do you look good today, or do you look shitty (in your opinion)? I always look (and feel) shitty. Do you enjoy reading murder mysteries? That’s one of my top favorite genres and I’ll been reading the past couple years. 

Would you ever want to be a detective who solves crimes? No, but I enjoy doing so for fun when reading mysteries and trying to figure out the “who done it” in movies and TV shows. I’ve been into that since I was a kid reading Nancy Drew.

Have you ever hallucinated? No.

What was the last picture you uploaded to social media of? It was a screenshot of my mom’s Facebook post with photos of my aunt’s puppies who were in need of homes.

What is one thing that makes you itch? My dry skin in the summertime.

Have you been in your pajamas all day? Well, what I wear is also what I sleep in, so yeah. All I wear are oversized tees or t-shirt dresses and lounge shorts or leggings.

What do your favorite pair of flannel pajamas look like? I don’t have any flannel pjs.

When was the last time you scrapbooked? Back in high school for a school project.

Are you currently working on an art project? Nope.

Do you like to make lists? Yeah. I use the list app on my phone pretty often.

When was that last time you dyed your hair? February of last year.

If applicable, what color are you planning to dye your hair next? When my hair grows out more I’ll dye it red again.

Do you have a sibling who looks like your twin? No.

Are you disorganized? I’m pretty organized for the most part.

Are you a warrior? I don’t feel like one.

Mermaid or fairy? Mermaid.

Do you read more New Arrivals or historical fiction? New Arrivals.

Do you frequent the library? No, I haven’t been to the library in a very long time.

Do you frequent a coffee shop? I often go through the Starbucks drive-thru, but I haven’t actually been to/hung out at a coffee shop in quite awhile. I used to more often.

Who do you look like the most in your family? My mom.

Do you think you'd make a good actor or actress? No.

Do you believe you have a lot of potential? No.

Do you believe in God-given talents? Yeah, some people definitely just seem to have a knack or natural born talent for things like it just comes easy to them.

Are you gifted? In what areas are you the most gifted? I’m not one of those people I just described, sadly. I have no talents.

Do you compare yourself to other people? Yes.

How often do you eat candy? Not often. I opt for other sweets like cookies, cupcakes, muffins, donuts, or ice cream.

Do you have a sweet tooth? Nah, I just have a craving for something sweet now and then. I have been on this weird milkshake kick lately, though.

Would you rather visit Paris or Tokyo? Paris.

What are five careers you've considered? Teacher, counselor, social worker, psychologist, or department of rehabilitation for people with disabilities. 

What are five things you want to accomplish before you're 30? I’m 32 now so it’s too late for that.

At what age do you want to go gray? I started to get a few grays when I turned 30. I swear one just sprouted on my birthday.

Are you the same height and weight as your mom? No.

Have you ever donated blood? No.

If so, have you ever had a bad experience donating blood? --

Do you have any severe allergies? No, thankfully nothing severe.

Are you allergic to any trees? Not that I know if.

What is your favorite type of tree in the spring? I don’t have one.

What is your favorite type of tree in the fall? I’m not familiar with too many tree types, I just know I love the fall colors of the leaves.

What is your favorite type of tree in the summer? --

Do you like winter? I love wintertime. 

What is your favorite season? Fall and winter. Would you like to be rich and own a vacation home? I would love that. That’s the dream. Have you ever walked through a labyrinth? No.

Are you at your ideal weight right now? No, definitely not. 

Do you have a favorite lipstick? Nope; I don’t wear lipstick.

If so, what color is your favorite lipstick, and what brand? --

What eyeshadow color do you think looks best on you? I rarely wore eyeshadow but when I did I opted for browns for the most part and dabbled some with light shades.

What color are your eyes? Brown.

Did you do anything productive today? Nope.

What is your favorite Halloween costume that you've worn? I don’t really have one particular favorite.

Do you like Snoopy? Yeah.

Do you shop in the girls, juniors, or womens section at the store? Juniors and women’s in store for the most part, but a lot of my graphic tees are men’s. 

What's the biggest store in your town? Probably Costco.

Do you eat out a lot? I get takeout/delivery a lot.

Do you take medication every day? Yes.

Favorite nail polish color(s)? Black.

Are you someone who loves paper? Uhh, I’ve never felt that strongly about it.

Are you a runner? No.

Have you ever run a race for charity? No.

Do you set goals for yourself? I should. Who was your valentine this year? I didn’t have one.

Will you wear green on St. Patrick's Day? I usually incorporate something green just for fun.

Will you celebrate Easter? Yeah, I always do.

What is your favorite spring holiday? Easter.

Do you celebrate Good Friday? I attended my church’s live stream service for it the past couple years.

What is your favorite type of filling for a chocolate egg? Peanut butter or just no filling at all.

Have you bought any new shorts for summer yet? I have a pretty good collection of shorts now that I got over the past couple months to wear around the house. They’re a lot more comfortable right now. 

Do you own any light-colored jeggings or skinny jeans? No.

Would you ever wear pastel-colored pants? I have before.

Do you write in calligraphy? No.

Do you collect journals? No.

List five good themes for a bedroom. Nah.

Do you like avocado? Yes.

Have you ever moved to another state? No.

Would you ever move to another country? No, I really don’t think so.

If you HAD to move to another country, which one would you pick? I don’t know enough about other countries to make an informed decision at this point. <<< Yeah, I’d have to really do some research and actually check things out.

Do you want any tattoos? Nah.

Do you feel relaxed today? No. I feel hot, tired, and irritable. 

Name 5 girl's names that start with R. Nah.

What is your favorite middle name? I don’t knowww.

Do you like the feeling of the warm sun on your face? When I’m at the beach, yes.

[yellowocaballero]

So I finished Feste last night, and was blown away as usual by your writing, and I was just wondering: how did you develop your writing style? It's this very unique mix of hilarious absurd/surrealism and then just raw emotional impact. Also, I'm curious about your writing process -- do you do outline at all or just come up with an idea and jump in?

Thank you for the ask!

I was described once as a “balleen whale of media” - I just swallow everything and filter it out through my bristly teeth. I read a great deal as a kid, and although I don’t do it as much now I’m always fascinated by new types of storytelling, new and innovative stories, and by genre defining works. My writing style is just a mix of a billion works I’ve read or seen. For everything I write I can list off ten influences - Feste’s influences are extremely obvious, but it’s also carried very deeply by person centered and emotional YA novels. MATDB was a direct pastiche of romcoms, the new thing I’m working on is springboarded from film noir and urban fantasy, etc. The aburdism/surrealism is because I have a few favorite books that are absurdist and surrealist, although I’ve seen a few people calling Feste absurd/surrealist and I’m not sure if I would say that.

I think you’re more interested in how I developed tone, though? And that’s just because I tend to use fiction to explore things I’ve been thinking about. My mental state is extremely far from Martin’s in that fic, thank god, but I enjoy creating a consistent and coherent thematic and emotional core. I’m always surprised when people say my writing is emotional or impactful - I just mostly tend to write about what’s been on my mind or themes I care about, because I like honesty and I want people to feel seen, recognized, and understood in my works. I want to talk about issues that people deal with, even the ugly ones. The comedy is because my work would be too depressing without it. Also, in real life, I’m the kind of person who can’t resist cracking a joke every two seconds. If it isn’t fun, like, what’s the point?

I don’t plan, plot, or outline. I wrote about 1/3 of Feste and then I was like “hmm this should probably like, go somewhere”. I think about 2/3rds of the way through it I wrote like an extremely skimpy bullet point outline of what I want to do, and then I forgot I wrote it, and I did something completely different anyway. C’est la vi. Feste happened because I was listening to S4 and I was like “I really want to see what the fuck Martin’s up to AND I want to bring back ‘workplace from hell’ that I kind of explored in BBC and TotA.” My favorite methods for deciding what to do is story jamming with my friends, coming up with a bunch of jokes (thanks Hannah, Emily, Jack, Aisha and Martin, all of whom are funnier than me) and then writing a story around the jokes. Not exactly coherent planning. I think this is going to bite me in the ass one day - the story I’m writing now is casefic detective mystery, which you absolutely HAVE to plot, but here we go again I guess.

Thanks for reading!

[revisionaryhistory]

Three Days ~ 16

*~*Sebastian*~*

I really should be given a lot of credit for how long I stayed away from Emma.

Day one I couldn't stop holding her hand. Day two I had to touch her. Day three all I want to do is hold her. Well, not all I want.

Since I woke up with her in my arms there's a part of my brain constantly on the look out for how to get her back there. I have to admit I’m not super confident because my brain has failed me numerous times in trying to figure out kissing her. Had it helped me out with the kissing I wouldn't be so fucking desperate to hold her. Probably wouldn't be talking so much to myself either, but that isn't really unusual. Maybe just different topics.

My mom is having fun with this. I'm not always translating everything she says. She told me Emma was beautiful and she understood why I hadn't come home. She told me I had to work for at least an hour before I could see her. Then she sent her to the opposite side of the house from me and stood guard across the hall.

When I was "allowed" to see Emma again I scared the shit out of her. It was fucking hilarious. When I grabbed her into my arms I held her head against my chest so maybe she wouldn't know I couldn't stop laughing. I couldn’t stop laughing until she ran her hands down my back. It was the same barely there sensual touch that went from my shoulder diagonally down and around to the side of my stomach. I closed my eyes to enjoy it and imagined it didn't stop there. So when she led me into the guest room, a room with a bed, it took every ounce of self-control in my body not to throw her on the bed and cover her with me.

The picture snapped me out of those thoughts. It had been years since I’d seen it. It was full of happy memories of a good time in an otherwise gray period. I wasn't old enough and I think mom shielded me from much. She tried to make whatever food we got something fun for us to build meals around. It wasn’t that we didn’t have food. We didn’t have a lot and we didn’t have choices. We played a form of bingo with what we'd get. Meat, dairy, and fruit were coveted. Except that one weird cheese that we got every six weeks or so. Nothing made it not horrible.

I can't remember telling any other girlfriend about how the beach in a communist country taught me freedom and curiosity that culminated in me being in a NASA movie. Coolest thing ever. Now I’m in the guest room telling secrets I barely remember. Frightening secrets for a kid. There's really no way to escape that without carry some things with you. I don't talk much about Romania because I don’t remember much, but what I do remember I don’t really want to talk about. I wonder if my mom planted the picture for me to share a happy memory.

I dropped Emma off at the kitchen and went back to the family room. Anthony and I headed out to the garage to find a couple of things he knew were missing from the room. Back inside we started arranging things. The kitchen wasn't far away. Every so often I'd catch words or a sentence. They were talking about winters and snow removal. I listened closer when mom asked where and how long she'd lived here. Nothing I didn't know. As Emma explained where her place was, she told mom about local shops and answered questions about the area. Very sweet.

Meanwhile in the family room we got things arranged based on where the TV hung on the wall and came to the realization it was all wrong. I yelled for mom. Emma followed her into the room. Mom looked around, "This is all wrong."

A ridiculous amount of time later we'd rearranged everything. The only thing left was for me to move the TV and rewire everything. I'd be an expert by the time we were done. Mom suggested a break and went to get beers.

I flopped onto the couch and when it looked like Emma was going to sit too far away, I grabbed her hand to pull her closer. Damn near landed her in my lap. Wouldn't have been a bad thing. I recreated the scene from the bench last night with my arm around her shoulder and her holding my hand. That left each of us with a free hand for beer. Emma turned a little where she was leaned against me and laid her head back on my shoulder. I buried my nose in her hair, breathing her in until mom brought back beer.

I doubt this was what Emma had in mind when I suggested she come with me. Mom and Anthony were talking so I gave Emma's shoulders a squeeze to get her attention. "Not much of a rest day for you. I'm feeling selfish. I wanted to spend more time with you.” I was coming clean. I wasn't going to apologize because that would be a lie.

She smiled, a sweet almost shy smile, that made my stomach flutter. "I wanted to spend more time with you too." Her smile tuned to a smirk, "So don't suggest taking me home unless you're ready for me to leave. I'm enjoying myself."

"No problem."

Mom's voice broke the moment, "Emma, have you had Romanian food? We were thinking dinner and a movie. If my son gets the TV hooked up."

"You've just given me motivation, mom."

I felt Emma laugh more than heard her. "No, I haven't and sounds great. Thank you."

Anthony stood up, "Let's get back at it."

Mom excused Emma from the kitchen after Anthony and I got the TV sorted. He went to his office. Mom stayed in the kitchen and I got an assistant for hanging shit and putting up books. There were an obscene number of books. Thankfully they were sorted into boxes in a way that made alphabetizing them by author not so much a pain in the ass. The ease with which Emma alphabetized the titles within each author was super hero like. My job was to hand them to her. By the respectful way she handled them I knew she loved books. She took a stack from me, "Do you like to read?"

I nodded, "I've read most of these. I’ve always liked to read. I do a lot of reading to research characters.”

"Like what?"

I went with the most obvious. "For the Winter Soldier and Bucky I read a lot about psychopaths and PTSD. They’re really two different characters, maybe four.. True crime procedural stuff for Destroyer. Way more space shit than I needed for the Martian. Loved the book."

"Do you prefer non-fiction to fiction?"

"Pretty equal. I'm usually reading a couple of books at a time. I switch back and forth. I love Harlan Coben from before they were making his books movies. Have you read anything of his?"

Her eyes shifted up as she thought. "The one that was a French film. His wife dies then like ten years later he gets a message."

At the same time we said, "Tell No One."

I continued, "Loved that one. He writes lots of those thriller mysteries and has a series about a detective. Lots of humor and his best friend is a millionaire sociopath. Those are fun. Always reread classics and my favorite novel is changing all the time. A lot of mindfulness, Buddhism."

Her eyes lit up, "Have you read Illusions by Richard Bach?"

"Doesn't ring a bell."

"It was written in the seventies. We passed it around in college. Once you read it you had to buy a copy, highlight some of your favorite bits and give it away. Basically, a Messiah is training his replacement. He gives him a handbook only the pages are empty, except when he opens it, he finds answers."

"I think you can do that with anything. Even a newspaper." This was turning into another one of those great conversations like music and movies. I knew it would.

She was nodding quickly, "Me too. It is full of short insights. My favorite is "You're never given a wish without the power to make it come true. You might have to work on it, however." It's a faux Christian eastern religion self-help novel."

I laughed, "That's great."

"Yeah, we'd get high at frat parties and talk in Illusion and movie quotes." She snorted laugh.

"Did you break into the pantry for snacks like we did?"

"Of course. Always cheese."

I was amused by the thought of Emma as a grunge loving stoned psuedo intellectual. Made me remember my days as an 80's music loving stoned theater major space nerd. College was fun.

Back to books. "What's your guilty pleasure reading?"

"This is my Jessie's Girl." We shared a smile. "I love paranormal romance."

"Paranormal romance? "I repeated." Ghosts and shit?"

"Oh no. Vampires, dragons, shapeshifters."

I couldn't hide my smile, "Way worse than Jessie's Girl."

She glared at me, "It's close."

Her glare turned to a smile then a laugh and I had to hug her. I wanted to hold on to the moment, take in how much fun this was. The conversation, the teasing. She felt like an old friend I'd just met. Only with a lot more sexual attraction. The kind that had me noticing how every curve of her body was pressed against me. Had me wanting to run my hands on top of her clothes before moving underneath them. Wishing she'd slide her hand under my shirt so I could feel her touch my skin.

I took a step back, "Hit me with the details."

She laughed again, "There's two series I love. Some variation of a testosterone filled alpha male who thinks he's rescuing a woman who ends up being his soulmate and saves him. One is grounded is Greek mythology and finding his mate can literally free his soul and the other creates its own mythology. One or both always have a heartbreaking past, there's something they have to go through, and then the happy ending. They're well written and incredibly satisfying."

"Do you believe in that?"

She drew her eyebrows together, "Happily ever after?"

I shook my head, "Soulmates."

Emma looked at the ceiling, screwed up her face, then looked back at me. "The chickenshit answer is people come into our lives for a reason and go away when they’ve served their purpose."

I wasn't so sure. "Not necessarily chickenshit."

"I meant the safe answer.” She bit her lip and continued, “I do believe in soulmates. But I don't think there's necessarily one person for anyone. A soulmate a twenty might be different than a soulmate at forty. People change and grow, so it makes sense your perfect partner might not stay perfect. You can grow together or grow in different directions.  I'm a hopeful romantic."

I liked that. "I think some people use the concept of soulmate to not work for it. It takes a lot of work and vulnerability to be with another person. Hell, to be with yourself. It's hard to be honest with yourself sometimes, forget about laying yourself bare to another person." I shook my head, not believing the strange direction this had gone. "I'm not always that brave."

We'd gone from laughter to this intensely intimate place. I'm talking about how difficult it can be to be vulnerable, which is a very vulnerable thing to do. Maintaining eye contact was hard.

"Everyone struggles with being brave.”

The matter of fact way she spoke reminded me of the gym when we were talking about insecurities. This was the second time I’d shared something and she didn’t try to convince me I was wrong. She accepted what I’d said as true for me. She’d accepted me. Well, now, there’s a thing. I smiled. “I think it’s about finding someone you’re ok being afraid with and is brave enough to be afraid too."

Slowly she started to smile, “Awfully deep conversation we’re having.”

“No shit! How the fuck did we get here?”  I shook my head and laughed. “I think we were talking about Jessie’s Girl.”

“Yeah, that’s it.” She joined in laughing before learning forward to lay her forehead on my shoulder.

I put my hand on the back of her neck and leaned my head against hers.

[alj4890]

New Year's Eve

A Choices Fan Fiction of The Royal Romance, Red Carpet Diaries,and Perfect Match

Masterlist

@lxaah11​​​ @alleksa16​​​ @penguininapinktuxedo​​​ @blackcoffee85​​​ @stopforamoment​​​  @hopefulmoonobject​​​  @krsnlove​​​   @annekebbphotography​​​  @gibbles82​​​ @cora-nova​​​ @bella-ca​​​ @hopelessromantic1352​​​. @sunflowergirl05​​​ @desiree-0816​​​ @greywitchyshots​​​ @lilyofchoices​​ @moodyvalentinestories​​​ @emceesynonymroll​​ @dr-nancy-house​​ @aworldoffandoms​​ @ab1901​​ @pixieferry​​ @flyawayboo​​ @i-bloody-love-drake-walker​​.

A/N I am so, so sorry for this being so incredibly long. I tried. I really did. I will be posting an epilogue to this, just because I have no self-control with these characters, LOL. I hope you enjoyed your gift @krsnlove, I had so much fun writing it.

Song

Part 1 Part 2

Part 3 The Revelation

Dec. 31st, New Year's Eve

Early morning, Thomas Hunt's suite, The Four Seasons...

"What is so important that you can't discuss it over the phone?" Thomas asked, wiping the lingering spots of shaving cream off his face.

"I need your permission to invoke your name." Addison sat down and prepared herself for the battle ahead.

Thomas looked down at her in surprise. "I beg your pardon. Why are you wanting to use my name?"

Addison twisted her purse strap around her fingers nervously. "Let's just say it would be used in helping a lonely man win the heart of the lady he has fallen for."

Thomas took a step back. "What are you going to do to Amanda?"

Addison looked up in shock. "Amanda? Who's--" her eyes widened. "It's her isn't it? The one you were staring at the other night. Wait! Did you spend yesterday with her?" Her brow furrowed in thought. "That's why you both weren't at the tea."

He couldn't think of what to say to make her stop discovering all his secrets.

"Thomas! This is wonderful!" She stood and hugged him. "It is about time you found someone you like!"

He untangled himself from her. "Yes, well, I don't want any interference in this."

Addison waived that notion away. "My plan isn't for you. It's for helping Liam."

Thomas ran a hand down his face. How had he let slip what he wasn't quite ready to share with his friends? "Do whatever you want." He held his door open for her to leave. "And try and forget this conversation."

Addison checked the time. "Right, I'm off." She paused at the door. "Don't think though that I will forget any of this. I expect to hear the entire story when I have a free moment, and I mean everything."

Thomas shut the door and pressed his forehead against it. Perfect, he thought. Just perfect.

_________________

Across town in Nadia's apartment...

"We're here!" Kai yelled out as she and Damien walked in. "Nadia!"

"I'm coming!" She came out in her white silk ball gown and mask. She twirled around and waited. "What do you think?"

"You're beautiful!" Kai exclaimed. She slowly walked around her cousin and nodded. "It's perfect."

"Yeah?" Nadia lifted her mask off. “Really?”

"I already told you it was." Damien muttered on his way to the kitchen. "Why you Park women only believe it when the other says so is a mystery."

"Well, you’re the detective." Kai teased. "Maybe that’s what attracted you to us."

He rolled his eyes and started the coffee maker. "I don't know why I got stuck with you two."

Kai walked over and kissed him. "Perhaps that explains it."

His smirk appeared. "Perhaps I need more information to go on."

"I love the two of you together," Nadia interrupted, "but I have an emergency here! How should I style my hair?"

"I thought you invited us over for breakfast." Damien complained.

"I did! Breakfast and help before Kai leaves us for the night." Nadia explained.

"I can't believe you have to work." Damien pulled Kai close and kissed her again.

"Don't worry." She looped her arms around his neck. "I'll come by after to receive the kiss I would have gotten at midnight."

"Now that that's settled," Nadia said in a huff, "can we please focus on me trying to look my best to get Maxwell's attention?"

"You already have it. In fact, I don't have to go to this at all now that you've got him." Damien smiled at the thought.

"Wrong." Kai told him. "You have to go for moral support. Plus she doesn't have him completely, yet."

"Thank you!" Nadia gestured to her cousin. "Listen to her!"

"Why do I even bother disagreeing with you two?" He leaned against the counter and sighed. "What time are we to be there?"

"Seven." Nadia told him. During his grumbling, she ran back to her bedroom to change, promising to start breakfast.

_______________

A short time later, Hana's suite, The Four Seasons...

"I'm coming!" Hana tied her robe closed and checked the peep hole. 

She opened it and took the large bouquet of pink roses. "Um--"

"Special delivery." The porter told her with a smile.

"Thank you!" She called out as he left. She lowered her face into the perfect blooms and took a deep breath of their sweet smell before setting them on a table.

She plucked the card and opened it.

"Oh!" She softly squealed, reading Rashad's words.

Dearest Hana, I want to do this properly, so there is no mistaking my intentions. I am asking you if you would be my date for the masquerade ball tonight. There is no one else I would rather have in my arms when the clock strikes midnight.

-Rashad

She sat down as she reread his words a few more times.

When another knock occurred, she practically floated to answer it. "Yes?"

Rashad was leaning against the doorframe and smiled at her surprise. "I hope it isn't too soon for an answer."

"I would love to go with you." She told him. "This was such a--the flowers--and you--" she shook her head while pressing his card to her heart. "Thank you."

He pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Then I will come by this evening to escort you."

_______________

Olivia's suite, The Four Seasons...

"Are you awake?" Olivia asked as she finished applying her lipstick.

"No!" Amanda said with a hint of irritation. "Why would I be? It's still dark outside."

"That's because it's cloudy." Olivia tried not to laugh at her friends hatred of being awakened so early.

"Why are all my friends morning people?" Amanda muttered while balancing the phone on her ear. "If you're calling about breakfast, please feel free to eat without me. Always feel free to if you decide to get up at this ungodly hour."

"Very well." Olivia turned to check her hair. "I was going to share some interesting news with you about who I am attending the ball with."

"It's Drake." Amanda said while yawning.

Olivia stilled. "What--how did you know?"

"We've all known for some time now." Olivia could hear Amanda rolling over in bed. "You two need to learn that you both can't disappear and reappear at the same time."

"We don't! We--"

"I'm very happy you two are finally making it official. I think I can speak for Maxwell and Liam and say, it's about time." Amanda yawned again. "May I go back to sleep or was there something else you wanted to tell me at this inhumane time of day?"

Olivia shook her head. "Go back to sleep. Next time I'll hide it better."

"I don't think there will be an opportunity for that." Amanda muttered, already closing her eyes. "According to Maxwell's prediction, we will all kiss the one tonight."

________________

In a tiny studio apartment in the East Village...

Riley stumbled out of bed and hurried to her door. "Who is it?" She asked, yawning.

"It's me!" Daniel answered.

She turned the bolt and opened her door. "What's wrong? Why are you up so early?"

"Remember the table of famous people you worked last night?" He asked.

"Yeah." She said, her tone a bit apprehensive.

"There was one there, a blonde, who does all the costumes and such."

Riley continued to look at him in confusion. "Daniel, why did you wake me up for this?"

"Hear me out." He pleaded. "Her boss is the director, Thomas Hunt. She forgot about needing a dress for the actress in his new movie and--"

"Who's the actress?" Riley asked.

"Oh, uh, I can't remember her name." Daniel stammered, realizing that Addison had not given him a name to use. "Anyway, that actress is out of the country visiting family and the blonde needs someone to use for measurements." He noticed she had not spoken and kept explaining. "She wanted to ask you last night since you're figure is similar to the movie star's."

"Yeah, sure." Riley shrugged. "I can help out, I suppose."

"Great! Get dressed." He ordered.

"What? Right now?!" She asked.

"Yes, she needs to show it to him today and she's afraid of losing her job if she doesn't have a dress ready. It's for some big romance scene or something." Daniel explained.

Riley flopped back on her futon. "Daniel!" She whined. "Do you have any idea how tired I am?"

"She's willing to pay you for your time." He told her. "Every little bit helps us get that place on the beach."

Riley sighed and sat up. "You're right. I should do this since I missed out on last night's tips." She asked him to start her coffee while she got ready.

Once he heard her shower start, he called Addison. "She's agreed. Make sure you have a name ready for who the dress is supposed to be for."

"We will." Addison promised. "Thanks so much for helping us put them together."

He grinned at her excitement. "My pleasure."

________________

An hour later, Liam's suite, The Four Season's...

Liam sat at a table loaded with different breakfast items. He half listened to his two friends as they talked plans for the new year.

"Tonight's the night." Maxwell reminded them. "I can literally feel the teetering point of our lives."

Drake rolled his eyes. "I doubt one night has the power to change what happens."

"You'd be surprised." Liam muttered behind his coffee cup.

"Why are you both so down? Is it because you don't have dates?" Maxwell asked. "None of us do, I think. Amanda might by now. The rest of after us though--"

"I have a date." Drake tried to keep the pride out of his tone.

Liam's eyes widened and he shared a loaded glance with Maxwell. "Do you want to tell us who it is, or would you rather we guess?"

Drake shook his head. "It's Olivia. We--"

"Have been spending secret time together." Maxwell finished. "We know."

"I glad you two decided to admit it to us and everyone else." Liam grinned at Drake's shock. "We wondered when you would finally trust us."

"How did you figure it out?" Drake demanded. “We were so careful!“

"It wasn't hard. There's five of us that are usually together." Maxwell reminded him.

"Hard not to notice a habitual disappearing of two of our members every other night." Liam remarked.

Drake frowned some. "Enough about that, are you two focused on someone or taking a chance?"

"A little bit of both." Maxwell thought about Nadia and smiled. "I expect big things tonight."

"You always do." Liam added. "I'm completely on my own and will not be taking anymore chances."

"Anymore? When did you take a chance?" Drake asked.

Liam lowered his eyes and shrugged. "It doesn't matter. The point is that I look forward to celebrating with my friends and to returning to Cordonia." He thought he needed a reminder of where he belonged. Alone.

His two friends exchanged a silent, worried look.

Maxwell raised his coffee cup. "Here's to another new year together."

Drake added his cup and cocked an eyebrow at Liam.

He forced a smile for their benefit and lifted his in salute. "To another new year together."

______________

Amanda's suite, a couple of hours after Olivia's call...

"I will kill him." Amanda muttered while hobbling to her door being knocked on. "I don't care if he is one of my best friends and has brought doughnuts this time. I am sick of being forced awake!"

She stepped wrong on her hurt ankle and gasped while a multitude of colorful phrases sat on the tip of her tongue, ready to be screamed out. She took a few painful breaths while blinking back tears, more determined than ever to physically harm Maxwell. Only he would dare to wake her in this manner. Again!

She jerked the door open without checking, ready to lay into him, and stared in surprise.

"Good morning." Thomas greeted. "I hope I didn't wake you."

"No, it's fine." She quickly closed her robe and tied it. "Won't you come in?"

He stepped inside and noticed her painful gait immediately. "You shouldn't be on that ankle."

"I wouldn't be if people would stop waking me up." She mumbled to herself as she sat down. “It really is not necessary to--"

Thomas knelt down, took her foot carefully in his hands, and studied her still swollen ankle. "I don't think you will be able to go to the ball tonight."

"I'll be fine." She argued. "I just won't dance. Or wear shoes." She bit her lip when his fingers slid gently against her bruising. "My gown is long enough, so no one will notice."

"I think you shouldn't force yourself to go." His dark eyes met hers. "Unless, it is because you have a date this evening."

"I don't." She quickly replied. "There isn't anyone who will be waiting for me."

Thomas seemed to relax once he heard that. He had hoped that was the case. "We could spend New Year's here." He offered.

"I suppose I should spend it in my room, though I--" Her eyes widened. "We? Thomas, I can't ask you to give up going to the ball tonight. Joelle will have a party worthy of all her guests combined. I believe with your artistic eye that you will enjoy it."

He studied her face, noticing the pink forming on her cheeks and how she was nervously biting her bottom lip. "I think I would enjoy being here more than the ball."

Her long eyelashes fell against her cheeks as she avoided his gaze. "As selfish as it sounds, I would prefer having you here with me. It isn't that I mind being alone, I--" she looked up at him. "I like being around you."

His lips curved in a soft smile. "Then I will go talk to the concierge about dinner and explain to Joelle about our absence this evening." He stood up and asked for her room key. "I don't want you getting up to let me back in."

"It isn't any trouble." She gingerly stood up and tried to hide her painful reaction. "I will have to anyway for room service." She looked down at her robe. "And of course to get dressed for the day and evening."

"You don't have to get dressed up." Thomas reached out and took her hand. "We can be--"

"It's New Year's Eve!" She exclaimed. "And if I am spending it with you then I am wearing my new gown." Her blush was nearly covering her face when she almost let it slip out that she wanted him to think she was pretty.

"Very well." He squeezed her hand. "I will still come up here once I'm done with my errands to help keep you off your feet."

She decided for once in her life to be bold and took a step forward, placing a kiss his cheek. "Thank you for trying to make this New Year's special."

He stared down at her face as he caressed her cheek. "I haven't done much except invite myself over."

She smiled at him. "I beg to differ." She stepped back and retrieved one of her key cards. "Here, once I am dressed for the day, I promise to stay for the most part on the couch."

He chuckled and walked towards her door. "Good." He turned to look at her. "I will see you soon."

_______________

A popular formal gown store along West 35th Street, in the heart of the Garment District , before opening...

"I can't believe that Thomas Hunt wanted to use my store for this, or that Jessica Clark would be browsing through my selection!" The middle aged manager explained.

Addison avoided looking directly at him. "Yes, Thomas is a stickler about clothing and wanted to make sure I had one purchased in New York."

"But to use me instead of going straight to the designer!" He said again. "This is such an honor."

Holly held up a dress to hide her muffled laughter.

Addison nodded again, at a loss for words.

Jessica walked over to try and help. "Hunt had heard that you had one of the largest selections and wanted to take advantage of that instead of being stuck with one single designer's creation."

"That's good." Addison mumbled, impressed with her quick thinking. "I mean it's good that Thomas sees that variety is the best way for me to find what he wants."

"Here they come!" Holly shouted.

Jessica handed her dress to the manager. "I will be buying this for myself once we take care of Hunt's mission."

"Really?!" He asked. "Ms. Clark, I--"

"Words fail you, blah blah blah, go set everything up!" Holly turned him around and gave a push. "Hurry!"

Addison watched him run off then went to greet Daniel and Riley.

"Riley, thank you so much for helping me with this." Addison lead her further into the store. "Thomas can be harsh when I don't have everything prepared."

Riley fought back her yawn. "No problem." She looked at the racks of beautiful dresses and posed a few questions. "So who is the actress that gets to wear one of these?"

"Taylor Carruthers." Addison promptly replied. “This will be her film debut.”

"Oh." Riley muttered. "Do I really look like her?”

"Positive!" Addison turned to her friends to back her up. "Doesn't Riley's figure look like Taylor's?"

"From the neck down she is a dead ringer." Holly replied.

"Definitely." Jessica chimed in.

 "Okay. So you just need my measurements?" Riley asked.

"Um, well." Addison stalled. "Would you mind trying on a few dresses?"

Riley tried to control her irritation. She was exhausted from the extra shifts at work and of course meeting a secret king. "I can try on a few, but then I have to get some sleep before I go to work tonight."

"Of course." Holly and Jessica rushed ahead toward the changing rooms. "We have all picked a few for you to try on. Feel free to add any suggestions of what you think looks best on you." Addison explained.

Riley cast a helpless glance back at Daniel before falling into their plan.

The next hour had her trying on a veritable rainbow of gowns. She had to walk around in them, sit, and at one point dance in one. "Is this really necessary?" She asked when they had Daniel dip her.

"I know it seems weird but it is a part of the process." Holly told her, shaking her head no when Addison asked what they thought.

"Definitely weird." Riley whispered to Daniel.

"I have one more dress." Addison held up a dress that made them all stop and stare. "If this one doesn't work then we are back to square one."

Riley stepped forward and touched the light blue gown. Silver sparkles throughout the silk shimmered in the light. She held it up against her. "It's beautiful."

"It reminds me of a modern version of Cinderella’s." Addison admitted. "I love fairy tales."

"Me too." Jessica said on a sigh.

"Try it on, Riley." Holly urged.

They watched her hurry into the room.

"That's the first time she has acted excited over trying on a dress." Daniel whispered.

"I think this might be the one!" Addison bounced with excitment. "If it is, I know just the mask and shoes to go with it."

Riley stepped out and twirled. "I love this one."

The four watching her plus the manager told her how beautiful she looked in it.

"That's the one!" Addison cheered. "Thank you for helping us with this. I will make certain you are generously compensated this evening for your time."

"Thanks." Riley reluctantly changed out of the dress and handed it over. She said her goodbyes and left with Daniel.

"Phase one of Fairy Godmother duty is complete." Jessica teased.

"I can't wait for phase two!" Addison squealed.

"I prefer phase three." Holly winked at them when they looked at her in puzzlement. "The midnight kiss."

________________

Late afternoon, Amanda's suite at The Four Seasons...

"Why didn't you have a doctor look at this?" Olivia angrily asked. "I believe you might have some torn ligaments and a possible break with that type of swelling."

Thomas stood quietly beside her, nodding in agreement.

"Damn." Drake muttered again, turning away from the nearly black bruise covering the top and side of her foot. "That has to hurt like hell."

"It's fine." Amanda stubbornly persisted. "And I'm so happy I had the idea to invite you all by to spend a bit of New Year's Eve with you."

"Did your eyesight get damaged in the fall?" Olivia snapped. "Your foot is practically mangled and you sit there persisting it is fine!"

"I talked to the manager. A doctor is on his way up with a portable x-ray machine." Liam shook his head in both pity and admonishment. "Why have you downplayed this?"

Amanda folded her arms and avoided their gazes. "Because I know it is sprained. The reason it looks worse is because I stepped wrong this morning and a few times during the night."

Maxwell leaned down closer and studied her ankle. "I can't even see the bone structure on this side."

She pulled her foot back and softly cried out from the pain. "Then stop looking at it."

Drake told Maxwell to leave her alone on his way to answer her door.

After a thorough examination, it was deemed a fracture.

"I know it is difficult, but I ask that you attempt to not say, I told you so." Amanda said to the entire group. She clutched her hands together and bowed her head, as the doctor wrapped a cast around her foot and ankle. "I know I have the moniker of The Clumsy Duchess, but I wanted one time to not be reminded of it."

Thomas walked over and sat on the arm of the sofa. He wrapped his arm around her while the others watched with great interest as she leaned closer to him through the painful process.

"So," Maxwell turned to the doctor, "can she go to the party this evening?"

"She can, though I think after the pain of last night and this morning she would do better to rest." He replied.

"I agree." Liam insisted. "We will miss you there, but you should take it easy."

"But..." Maxwell began. "It's New Year's Eve. She can't spend it alone."

"She's not." Thomas announced. "I will be spending it with her here. We already decided that this morning"

Amanda blushed at the knowing smiles forming on their faces.

"This morning? Then we will leave you to enjoy your evening." Olivia said. She hugged her friend and whispered that she expected details tomorrow.

The others kissed her cheek and wished both a happy New Year on their way out.

The doctor finished the cast and handed her a prescription as he stood to leave. "Happy New Year to you both."

Once Thomas shut the door, she stood up and tried out her crutches. "It isn't too bad." She said while going over to her bedroom then turning back. "I shouldn't have too much trouble getting ready."

"You don't have to dress up." Thomas insisted. "I will enjoy this evening with you regardless of what you wear."

She sat back down with a sigh and shook her head. "I want to dress up. I know it might sound silly but I should, as much as I can, look my best this evening."

"Why?" Thomas asked.

Amanda chewed on her bottom lip before speaking. "Because I will be spending New Year's Eve with you." She lowered her eyes. "That in itself is significant."

"Why?” He persisted. “Because of my being famous--"

"No. Not that." She interrupted. "It is because of all you did yesterday." She reached out and took his hand. "You decided to not only help me back here, but then proceeded to spend what I am certain was an incredibly boring day and evening for you tending to me. You didn't have to, yet your kindness..." She trailed off when he sat down beside her.

"I wanted to." He murmured, pulling her into his arms. "I still want to." He pressed a kiss to her forehead, then her cheek. His lips touched the corner of hers.

She turned to brush her lips against his. His hand slid into her hair as he deepened the kiss.

________________

Early evening, Matt Rodriguez's suite, The Four Seasons...

"Addison!" Matt tried to grab his things he needed to get ready. "Would you give me a second. I need my shaving kit and--"

"I love your scruffy look." She pushed him toward the door. "I need you to hurry before Riley and Daniel get here."

"Why do I have to leave? Why can't one of the others--" he grunted when she shoved him toward the door. "Hey!"

Once she got him out in the hall, she pulled him close for a passionate kiss. "I love you." She whispered. "But I need all of our suite to do my work. You are too handsome to not be distracting." She shut the door after another kiss.

He dropped his head and walked over to Thomas's door.

Thomas opened his door while tying his bowtie. "What is it?"

"Can I use your room to get ready?" Matt asked. "Addison needs the suite for her love project or whatever she is calling it."

Thomas stepped back. "Come in. I'm nearly done and you can have it."

"Where are you going so early? We still have an hour or so before the ball." Matt dropped his things on a table.

"I'm not going to the ball." Thomas informed him, on the way back to his bedroom.

"You're not? Why? Where are you going dressed up?" Matt called out.

Thomas stepped back out, fully dressed in his tuxedo, and smoothed his hair back. "I have other plans."

Matt waited on him to further explain. Thomas slipped some key cards in his pocket and said goodnight on his way out.

Back in Matt's suite a flurry of three women rushed about to not only get themselves ready but to be prepared to give a waitress and king a night to remember.

When the knock was heard, they tried to calm their excitement.

After a clearing of her throat, Jessica opened the door. "Riley! Please come in."

Riley stepped in and smiled at them. "Hi. Daniel said you needed to see me before the party."

"Yes." Addison motioned for her to come in. "We have a confession of sorts."

"Oh?" Riley sat down when Holly asked her to.

"The dress we had you try on was not meant for Taylor." Addison admitted. “Actually, there is no Taylor at all.”

"We also aren't in the midst of beginning a new movie." Jessica added.

"And though Thomas is cantankerous, he is not unreasonable over a missing dress or two. He would not fire Addison for not having one ready." Holly added. "He can actually be quite understanding when we mess up."

Riley's brow furrowed with confusion. "Then why did you have me come this morning?"

"We want you to come to the ball tonight. The dress is yours along with the mask and all." Addison explained.

Riley stared in shock. “That’s sweet, but I have to work. I--”

“Daniel has that all taken care of. He has a friend that owes him a huge favor and he will take over the waiter duties.” Holly explained.

Riley shook her head again. “I don’t think I should go. Liam will be there and I already refused his invitation.”

“Why did you refuse?” Jessica asked.

Riley hesitated. “I fell for him pretty hard. Then finding out he was a king...I know nothing of his world. I don’t belong. That hurt enough to not spend what I know will be a magical night with him.” She lowered her head and picked at her skirt. “I was nothing but a distraction for him.”

Addison sat down beside her and wrapped her in a warm hug. “That’s not true. We saw him. He has fallen for you too. I don’t think he once thought of you as a distraction.”

Holly nodded. “I agree. He is not the type to do anything haphazard. He likes you. I think he planned on beginning a relationship with you.”

Riley looked up at their earnest faces. She took a deep breath and relented. “I might as well have a fun time at the party if you got me out of work.”

“That’s the spirit!” Addison gave her orders to the others and hugged Riley again. “Tonight is going to be life changing.

_______________

A little after nine  The Masquerade Ball, The Four Seasons Ballroom...

“Woo!” Maxwell exclaimed. “This is one more party Joelle has thrown.”

Liam nodded while sipping his drink. “Yes, it is.”

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong or am I--” Maxwell stared at the woman in white that walked by. She turned back to look at him and smiled before continuing on her way.

“Go on.” Liam said good naturedly. “I promise I am enjoying this ball.”

Maxwell smiled and chased after the woman as she disappeared in the crowd.

“Good evening.” 

Liam softly groaned and turned toward the lady who spoke. His eyes swept down her light blue gown and he felt himself drawn to her. “Good evening, Ms.?”

“Riley.” She said with a smile at his surprise. “I was invited by a king, I think. Who knows with that guy.”

“Riley, you look beautiful.” He murmured. “I thought you didn’t want to come.”

“A part of me didn’t.” She admitted. “You should know that you have some guardian angels that think very highly of you.” She motioned toward the three couples that were watching them without shame.

Liam recognized them even with their masks on. He smiled and bowed to them. 

“He is so perfect.” Addison sighed.

Matt cleared his throat.

She hugged him. “I’m glad we were able to give him the one he wanted.” She pulled on Matt’s arm and led him to the dance floor.

“I guess we should stop spying on Liam and Riley.” Jessica whispered.

“For the moment.” Holly decided. “I’m still determined to see them kiss at midnight.”

________________

A little after ten, at the Masquerade Ball...

“...and now I have another floor of the gallery being offered to display my latest works.” Nadia finished with a shy shrug.

“Wow.” Maxwell smiled at her. “Cute, smart, and incredibly talented.” 

Damien rolled his eyes at their conversation and focused on his dessert.

“Would you like to dance?” Maxwell asked

“Yes!” She hopped up and took his hand.

Damien watched them move closer to one another when a slow song started. He pulled his phone out and snapped a picture of the pair. He sent it to Kai and added the text letting her know who it was.

“He’s cute.” she texted back. “How’s it going?”

“Great.” he responded. “They both think the other is perfect.”

______________

One hour until midnight, The Masquerade Ball...

“Do you want to dance again?” Drake asked, pulling Olivia close.

“I think I am danced out.” She replied. “Who’s that with Liam? He hasn’t left her side for hours now.”

“I don’t recognize her.” Drake looked over and noticed how Liam held her close during another waltz. His smile was one of genuine happiness. “Whoever she is, he likes her.”

Kiara interrupted their observation by asking Drake to dance.

Olivia narrowed her eyes and spoke before Drake could. “He’s with me.”

Kiara lifted an eyebrow. “Really? As in--”

“As in we are a couple now and have been for quite some time!” Olivia snapped. “If he wanted you he would have pursued you like he did me.” She motioned toward a group of men talking. “Go sniff around over there. I’m sure there is someone that will be willing to dance.”

Kiara’s face was flushed with embarrassment as she scurried away.

“Liv,” Drake choked on his laughter. “That was brutal.”

“No it wasn’t. I could have said a lot more but tempered it for the sake of being polite.” She huffed. “And you better start letting all these so called ladies know you are no longer available for slumming.”

“Being with me is slumming?” He asked, surprised she thought that way.

“Of course not!” She rolled her eyes. “You are slumming whenever you get with those women who only plan on using you.”

Drake pulled her into a passionate kiss. 

“A little early, isn’t it?” She teased.

“I don’t care.” He kissed her again.

_____________

On the other side of the ballroom...

Rashad twirled Hana, smiling at her laughter when he pulled her back into his arms. “Are you having a good time?”

“I’m having the best time.” She told him. “I’ve never enjoyed a party as much as I have this one.”

“Me too.” Rashad admitted. “I know it is because of you.” He led her off the dance floor and snagged two glasses of champagne from a nearby waiter. “Hana, would you...” He swallowed a gulp of his drink and tried again. “Would you like to start seeing each other on a regular basis?”

“Do you mean dating?” She asked with a shy smile.

“Yes.” He stammered.

“I would love to.” She kissed his cheek. 

____________

Fifteen minutes until midnight, Amanda’s suite...

“What did you do?” Amanda asked, tears of laughter building at his story.

“I walked out.” Thomas popped open a bottle of champagne. “I made certain to take two pillows to cover my,” he motioned down his waist, “and hailed a cab.”

He smiled at her burst of laughter. He then prepared two glasses and handed her one. 

“What should we drink to?” He asked, sitting down beside her.

“I suppose the old year ending in a few minutes.” She replied. “And to what comes next.”

“I am looking forward to that.” He tapped his glass against hers. 

“What plans do you have for the new year?” Amanda asked, setting her glass aside.

“I have a few.” Thomas set his arm along the back of the sofa, winding a lock of her hair around his finger. “One of which concerns you.”

“Oh?” She reached over and straightened his bowtie. “And what might that be?”

“Inviting you out to California.” He scooted closer to her. “Visiting Cordonia.”

“I would like that.” She said softly as his lips brushed hers. 

“Then it’s settled.” He kissed her once more.

_______________

One minute to midnight, The Masquerade Ball...

“They’re in position!” Addison squealed. 

"Why aren’t we this exciting anymore?” Ryan muttered as Holly and Jessica moved with Addison closer for a better view.

Matt shrugged while Seth folded his arms.

As the countdown began the three couples watched as Liam and Riley shared a long tender kiss. 

“That has to be the most romantic thing I have ever seen.” Jessica said, sighing at Liam gently caressing Riley’s cheek.

“I agr--” Holly squeaked when Ryan yanked her into his arms for a heated kiss. He smiled down at her surprised face. 

“Happy New Year.” He pressed another kiss to her lips.

Matt and Seth followed his example with their own dates.

Liam carefully removed Riley’s mask and then his own. “I know this might seem sudden, but I want you to know my intentions.”

Riley blinked. “Your intentions? What do you mean?”

“I want to court you.” He began. “With the intention of making you Cordonia’s queen.”

Riley shook her head. “Liam, you don’t know me! I have no clue where to even begin with how wrong I would be as queen. I was a fine arts major in college! I--”

“You would learn all the protocols.” He told her. “The most important role as queen would be as the beloved wife of Cordonia’s king.” He kissed her to stop her next argument. “If during our courtship you think it is too much, or I’m not what you want, then I won’t bother you again.” His blue eyes focused on her dark ones. “I can’t leave New York tomorrow evening without knowing I will have a chance to see you again.”

Riley looked around at this world he wanted her a part of. “I--” She looked back up into his handsome face and nodded. “Okay. I’ll try.”

He hugged her tight. “Thank you.” He placed a kiss on her cheek. 

_______________

On the other side of the ballroom...

Maxwell thought this might be a kiss he never wanted to end. Nadia fit perfectly in his arms. 

She stepped back when they paused for a breath. “Maxwell?”

“Yeah?” He tried to pull her back.

“How long are you going to be in New York?” She asked.

“As long as you want me to.” His lips crashed down on hers.

_____________

Afternoon, Liam’s suite...

“You’re staying?” Liam asked.

“Yeah, Nadia wants to show me around.” Maxwell grinned bashfully. “I might be gone a few more weeks.”

“What are your plans?” Liam asked Amanda.

“I’m going to spend another week here and then come home.” She blushed some as she continued. “Thomas plans on remaining here with me then coming to Cordonia for a visit in two weeks.”

Drake and Olivia narrowed their eyes at Liam. “Who was the lady in blue you were with last night?” Drake asked.

“Riley Brooks.” He smiled at his friends. “She has agreed to entering into a courtship with me.”

Maxwell and Amanda looked up at him in surprise. “You met someone?” he asked.

“I did.” Liam said proudly. “I think she might be the one.”

“You kissed her at midnight?” Maxwell asked. With Liam’s nod he turned to Amanda, “You kissed Thomas at midnight too, right?”

“Yes.” She said slowly “Why?”

“And I assume you two shared a tender moment.” Maxwell said to Drake and Olivia.

“I wouldn’t call it tender.” Olivia muttered. 

“We did it!” Maxwell exclaimed. “We all kissed the one!”

“Isn’t it a bit too soon for some of us to think of these people as the one?” Amanda asked.

“Just you wait. By next New Year’s, you will all appreciate my awesome soothsaying skills.” Maxwell gloated.

[wisqcrafts]

19 Home Quarantine Boredom Busters!

Bored? Bored??? Complain about your neighbors, your family, the government, the sky, anything else. But I never wanna hear or see anyone complain about boredom. Sorry not sorry. There's so many masterposts of things to do and free online resources. Here are just some of my dork ass ideas:

1) Free (yes FREE) online college courses from, you know, Yale, Harvard, MIT, etc:

https://www.coursera.org/

https://ocw.mit.edu/courses/find-by-topic/#cat=engineering&subcat=nuclearengineering&spec=nuclearsystemspolicyandeconomics

https://www.edx.org/school/harvardx

https://www.freecodecamp.org/news/ivy-league-free-online-courses-a0d7ae675869/?fbclid=IwAR1a9qAE6IcqmcQpPaTmXH6q63QBCA95rntnZPY0ah_U80d8u0wa9wAIYhc

What, like it's hard?

2) "Tattoo" practice - This is a personal idea of mine. Basically, you just take some non-toxic markers to draw on yourself or whoever youre in home quarantine with that wants a fake tattoo. This isn't the best time to be getting real tattoos but you can have fun seeing what youd look like with a one. If you dont really draw, you can print designs to cut into stencils.

3) Bento "stories" - I got this idea from the mom that went viral for the creative bentos she makes for her kids. I think, for even just one meal a day, it would be cute to tell a story with each bento. So if you're living with someone, they need to wait til the next day to find out what happens next! If you live alone, make them for yourself and post your bento story online.

https://www.boredpanda.com/creative-bento-food-art-samantha-lee/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic

4) Karaoke - By yourself or with others, doesn't matter, make it a party! Just search for your karaoke sobgs on Youtube. And anything is a microphone: hairbrush, remote, piece of fried chicken.... Good for you if you have one of those bluetooth mics tho.

5) Professor Day - Okay this one is really nerdy but it's more fun than it sounds. Pick a random topic, anything at all, and prepare a "lesson" or presentation on it. It could be one of your interests, an intro to a new language, or something you always wanted to learn. You can keep it to yourself, share the file online, or better: Dress the part and call your home quarantine buddies in for "class." If you live alone, teaching a class of inanimate objects would make for a silly yet informative video on your topic. Hey maybe this can catch on! Everyone can be an expert of something they're passionate about and should share their unique take on it, who knows who will be into it.

6) Miss Going Outside? Bring the experiences indoors! Like the family that made a home grocery for their grandma, you can make part of your home into something you miss from the outside world. Museum? Plenty offer free virtual tours. Cinema? If you don't have a big TV, you can make a projector for your phone with a shoebox. Camping? Hello, pillow fort and blanket tent. Roast marshmallows on the stove. Play relaxing nature sounds on your speaker. (Try the free app Relax Melodies, I love the mixing feature) Get creative with your space and what you have to make something you want. When you're really bored and missing the outdoors, Youtube or Google Streetview somewhere you wish you could go.

https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/75809/12-world-class-museums-you-can-visit-online

https://www.relaxmelodies.com/?utm_expid=.P1gqxCs8TYuGTBlAbE0VkQ.0&utm_referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2F

https://newsvideo.su/video/12560164

https://www.instructables.com/id/Build-A-Smartphone-Projector/

7) Room Makeover - No better time to do it! It's good exercise and it's a creative experience.

8) New Hair Dont Care - This is the best time to try an outrageous haircut or color since you're stuck at home. If it doesn't turn out ideal, no one has to know. If you love it, great! You can try any look you normally wouldn't wear outside or at work.

9) Safe Science Experiments - emphasis on the word SAFE. Safety first, always. There's plenty of free resources online for instructions, esp on YouTube.

10) Consume All The Free Movies, Shows, Music, Books, Audio Books and even Comics Online... it's endless! So much free... And now not so little time. You won't run out of things to watch, read, or listen to.

https://www.epubor.com/10-best-sites-for-free-comic-books.html

https://www.bettercloud.com/monitor/15-classic-video-games/

http://www.loyalbooks.com/genre/Non-fiction

https://www.digitalbook.io/search-audiobooks-ebooks.html#!///history

https://documentaryaddict.com/

11) Make a Short Film - Get creative or just be silly! Try stop motion with old toys, get yourself or someone you're home with into acting, or make your pet a star.

12) Tea Party - Be a kid again and dress up for tea... but put whatever twist you want on it! Wear an old Halloween costume or something! If you live alone, video call your friends or family to join you for tea.

13) Spa Day - All the pampering you didn't have time for when work/school wasn't from home? You have time now. DIY facial. Bubble bath. Nail art. Really soak in every little act of self love.

14) Practice drag makeup, styling, and performance for fun. Your gender or sexual preference doesn't even matter here. Its all good fun! Be a drag queen or king for a day. Lip sync for your life by yourself or make it a drag race with your home quarantine mates.

15) Mystery Day - Create a fake crime scene and have your friends/family solve it! Doesn't have to be a big mess and you don't have to make it so complicated for yourself or your home quarantine fam. You could also just write a simple mystery/riddle online for friends to solve if you live alone. You can even assign roles like accomplice, police, detective, etc. Work your brain, the goal is to kill boredom right?

16) Scrapbook - or Burn Book, Spell Book, pop-up book, revolutionary manifesto, whatever. Use anything you have as a base even if it has writing: an old phone book, something missing pages, a faded magazine, whatever. Then stick any pics, stickers, printouts, tags, wrappers, etc you want. What kind of book will it be?

17) Art Therapy - Even if you dont consider it something you're "good" at, use art to express yourself. It doesn't just have to be drawing, painting, or sculpting... You can pick up a forgotten musical instrument you may have lying around and just keep trying. Youtube is life. Countless tutorials for everything.

18) Crafts Crafts Crafts - Theres so many simple crafts to try at home. 5 Minute Crafts on Youtube and various other channels offer some great yet easy ideas. Try going about it in this order:

a) Look around your house for stuff you don't need. Set aside for craft pile or donate pile.

b) Look around again for any ways you can improve you home. You need mor storage? Is your shoe rack broken? Are you always missing something? Then search online for crafts specific to that.

c) Set up a neat work space with your craft pile and some tools you can use. Note: Never use kitchen items for crafts if you still intend to use them on food. You may be able to wash them but you can't undo any damage from crafting trial and error.

https://youtu.be/AROj7nkH2LQ

19) If you have any skill that can possibly help frontliners during this crisis, do see what you can do without risking your own health. If you can sew, donate masks or even PPE suits as there are guides online for the right patterns and materials. Even just a few pieces are helpful. If you sing, sing for our frontliners. If you write, write about them. Do your research about the situation in your town. Health workers, sanitation workers, grocery staff, and other essential workers are all putting their lives on the line. All we have to do is stay home but we can make the most of it.

https://drive.google.com/drive/mobile/folders/1-Xr-67gs2qw0o44-hy-INb89I9m-wcLD?fbclid=IwAR2q0JV6uqgDW5e_m5X5ABLv86rXdQodXh4x5fYDg9_WRsMe0hQwki9PUTk&fbclid=IwAR3Oofo8FIjzwZOoLepnGxYTrST_zV1dRf6NMtoWVRQVSuho1nnqwG5esUE

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.cnet.com/google-amp/news/coronavirus-face-mask-what-you-need-to-know-about-making-a-covering-at-home/

[youngerdaniel]

Youngo’s 2019 at the Movies (with Baby Yoda)

IT’S THAT TIME AGAIN, FOLKS...

Wherein this blog crawls out of the woodwork with fresh aspirations for a more consistent content strategy in the year to come. Like a Baby Yoda emerging from his floating iron egg to great the sun. So let’s dust off some cobwebs and talk about the great movies that came out in 2019.

BRIEF UPDATES FROM THE WAFFLER This year marked a turning point. No, not that fucking decade that everybody’s making a big deal about. Not even that I hit 30 but thankfully have most of my (still not totally gray) hair... Nope, I went into business for myself. I leapt off the stable lily pad of 9-5 etc. and went freelance! Life’s been full of stories since then -- both the kind I write, and the kind I get to look under the hood on. I’m happy to report I’ve written more than ever before... Just not blogs, and mostly stuff I’m not at liberty to discuss.

*Clears throat. Pulls up the collar on his trench coat.* And I may have had more hair turn gray. Turns out, running your own ship is quite a bit of work, especially when you’re teaching yourself how the hell you do it. Nevertheless, I loved the shit out of every minute of it, and I still use phrases like nevertheless. It could easily be a blog (or several) for a different time, but the short and easy explanation of the absence is I was busy, it was fun, get over it. 

Besides, we don’t actually care about whatever lame excuse I have for why I haven’t been posting. We’re here because it’s 2020 and time for a listicle, dammit! This one is neither definitive nor ranked. But dang if 2019′s fodder didn’t come sauntering into theaters like the big chuckling cherub of Christmas Present, with a cornucopia of awesomeness. 

THINGS I LOVED, IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER:

UNDER THE SILVER LAKE David Robert Mitchell’s neo noir takes a fittingly existential approach to detective fiction. An enigmatic case, hidden clues and coded pop culture, Andrew Garfield’s charmingly hapless sleuth... There’s a lot to love in this weird soup of a movie. At times nightmarish, often trippy, and an excellent performance from a parrot. Late night fodder.

CLIMAX Gaspar Noe does not make sane movies. With Climax, there’s a hypnotic quality that sucks you in and drags you along on its nightmarish journey as a group of dancers drink from a punchbowl laced with drugs. The result is absolute bedlam, and everything from the lighting to the camerawork pulls its weight to put you into the action. This is the kind of thing you watch and marvel that, “Wow, they went there.” to varying degrees of satisfaction. Like a freight train barreling toward the side of a mountain, it’s hard to look away even though you know you probably should. 

JOJO RABBIT And then there’s a different kind of madness. The movie that billed itself as “The movie that shouldn’t work.” Jojo Rabbit is so full of heart. This is Taika Waititi in full force, and hilarity meets real pathos. Love is better than Nazis. It’s a simple message, and I think it doesn’t need to be much more. The relevance of such a narrative in our time is pretty disappointing, but the truth seems to be that we need ones like this to come along and remind the collective. The mashup of humor with genuine drama is balanced in a way that will feel familiar to fans of THE HUNT FOR THE WILDERPEOPLE or BOY. The performances are superb, and it’s a beautiful looking film. If you missed it last year, start the new one off right and amend this problem.

US The thing I dug the most about US was how unique it felt. Original premises in horror are on the rise, and there’s no denying the man leading the wave is Jordan Peele. The social commentary elements of this followup to GET OUT play with a little more subtlety, and in some ways it almost felt like a stronger move... But I refuse to compare the two of them. US stands out in its own right, and carries some of the most memorable performances of the year. A twisting narrative that crackles with tension, and a concept that haunts the imagination. What if your every action had an equal an opposite effect on a mirrored version of yourself? A study on the impact of the class system, and a nightmarish what-if to explain the real life series of underground tunnels that span the United States. Also, that costume design! That Alexa gag! The way this one opens up at the midpoint was such a delight in the theater. I’d apologize for spoilers, but let’s be real... You’ve seen this movie.

AD ASTRA Best summed up as “Daddy Issues in Space,” AD ASTRA feels like the kind of sci-fi mysteries that were made in the late 70s and 80s. A spellbinding journey to the far edges of the galaxy to save the world, and maybe prove that aliens exist. Oh, and to stop your possibly insane father from destroying the human race on the way. Brad Pitt is on fire, and everything about this potent emotional journey remains focused on his character’s dilemma of deciding whether or not his father was a good man, what it means to him and his own isolated existence, and whether he can overcome that shit and live a life instead of taking risks. From its opening scene to its closing one, this one blends gripping life-or-death set-pieces exploring the dangers of space travel and the cyclical nature of humanity’s progress with small moments. The journey, the heart-wrenching climax, and the harrowing trip home is well worth the rental fee. Check it out.

THE GIRL ON THE THIRD FLOOR

Some horror movies exist to make you think, some exist to cover their protagonists in black goo, subject them to grueling physical and psychological lament, and chuck ‘em through a woodchipper for good measure. The Girl on the Third Floor takes your average premise of “Stubborn and troubled guy picks a fixer-upper house to flip, only to discover horrors beyond his imagining” and leans hard into the gross-outs and festering boils of body horror. Reminiscent of Evil Dead, Amityville, and Dead Alive, there’s so much insanity to love, and the movie makes some big turns -- some surprising, some daring, some a little out there. It is by no means perfect, but it’s got a charm about its rough edges. You will never look at a marble the same way again.

I LOST MY BODY

I know. “A life-affirming work” left me a little skeptical too. But from its very first frame, I LOST MY BODY is arresting. Its hypnotic narrative follows the story of a severed hand in search of its owner, and has great fun carrying you along with its troubled protagonist’s journey from a crush to obsession. The sheer amount of visual storytelling and striking imagery is worth the runtime, but for any arthouse lovers feeling a little too chilled to hop down to the nearest indie theatre can open a new tab and have at it. Didn’t expect to be as moved by this one as I was, and for that I must recommend it.

AVENGERS: ENDGAME The fact that a movie like this can even exist is pretty amazing, and I have to say, as the culmination to the Avengers saga as we know it, ENDGAME delivered something with way more heart and character than I expected. Funny, sad, bittersweet, and massively satisfying. This is the Thanksgiving Turkey dinner of movies. It’s got everything. But the best part for me was how little fighting the big superhero finale of the decade had to it. Firmly rooted in character, taking ambitious and surprising turns in their trajectories, and balancing the fanwanks with a genuinely exciting story. I mean, c’mon. Time heist? A Greatest Hits play that also recontextualizes a few of the lesser films of the sweeping franchise? The third act battle felt a little tacked-on, but the conclusion felt like exactly what we needed. 

READY OR NOT I love this movie. Love it like an adorable, scrappy friend who always manages to make their social commentary entertaining. Hide and Seek turns deadly for a bride to be when she meets her future in-laws, the proprietors of a board game company that takes their product very seriously. A darkly funny survive-the-gauntlet-till-morning ride. Great characters. Awesome kills. A few really unexpected and delightfully devilish turns. Oh, and it takes a stab at privilege and how far some people are willing to go to preserve theirs. It’s got teeth, a mean bite, and it’s fun to walk around the neighborhood. If you liked YOU’RE NEXT, you will probably love this movie. I still can’t get its final few moments out of my head. And I mean that in the best way.

PARASITE Speaking of social criticism and privilege, there’s no denying the brute fucking force of PARASITE. Following a struggling family who imbed themselves into a rich family by posing as the help, this madcap game of suspense takes so many surprising turns that even describing the full plot spoils the fun. Go into this one having read as little as possible. It will take you for a spin. Part con movie, part social critique, part comedy and part tragedy, it’s a lot to digest, but it’s a damned tasty treat. 

KNIVES OUT In a word, it’s fun. Rian Johnson’s locked room murder mystery packs some wonderful barbs in the side of affluence, armchair activism, and the corruptive nature of wealth. A wealthy novelist is found dead, and all of his family members have motive... But don’t let the familiar set-up fool you, KNIVES OUT plays fair with its audience, but it is a fast runner. The story jumps ahead of you almost every time you think you’ve got it figured out. Daniel Craig’s genius sleuth is full of likable energy, protagonist Marta is full of layers, and the family are all such a pleasure to watch. Several times along the trip, I had no idea where the story would turn next, or how much further the envelope could be pushed, but by the end, I came out marveling at its construction. The production design is unreal. The direction and vibe are so unique, and by the closing image, it’s nearly impossible not to enjoy the shift in values. There’s also a speech involving donuts that I will be reciting at parties for the foreseeable future.

DANIEL ISN’T REAL

I closed off the year with this wildly inventive take on the possession trope. This. Movie. Is. Nuts. Which, considering it was produced by the same folks who did MANDY, shouldn’t come as a surprise. A mind-bending tale that riffs on Jekyll and Hyde, with a great modernization tackling the concept from a mental health perspective... It’s not the first time it’s been done, but the execution is just excellent. We follow a disturbed young man whose imaginary friend hatched from a childhood trauma makes a devilish return to play hell with his adult life. It’s a psychological horror that’s FIGHT CLUB meets THE DOUBLE. Great look. Excellent creature design and visuals for a cosmic horror that makes great use of low budget devices. If you’re looking for the answer to the age old question of “Should my third act involve my protagonist battling his inner demons literally with a rooftop sword fight?” You’ve found your contender.

I’ll tell you this, reader friend. The hardest part about 2019′s slate at the box office was deciding what to see. There were so many interesting movies that came out, brimming with big ideas and social commentary. Sad as the state of the world is, there’s no denying times of unrest have a knack for yielding great art. The Trump era has made its stamp on Hollywood for better or for worse. But the rising tide of voices pushing back give me a bit of hope, and a lot of salve for the whole existential dread thing. I think that, however small it is, is good.

For what it’s worth, none of these films are reinventing the wheel or burning flags... But they are asking questions. Okay, CLIMAX, really isn’t asking anything, but it is fun as hell. There’s just as much merit in the salve as there is in the flame that caused the burn.  So may your 2020 be full of entertainment. I’ll try to get some useful content up here at least every couple of months in smaller digestible forms. Now go forth and brunch, you hungover, resolution-breaking slob.