#i am extremely bisexual today help

[transprincemlmw]

I love when women with swords

[genderkoolaid]

Examples of transandrophobia: i've seen sections of Leslie Feinberg's piece "Sisterhood: Make it Real" passed around this site for literally years, and TODAY was the first time that I saw the whole thing and learned that ze called out cisfeminists in it for getting rid of trans men the second they started transitioning. Like I always thought it was a good piece but I had literally NO IDEA that it talked about trans men because that part was never included in posts about it, even when those posts were calling out cisfeminism for being transphobic. I'm just gobsmacked tbh

This is a great point!

Honestly more people need to read that full chapter. There's a lot of really good points.

Amongst other things, Leslie talks about how "women good men bad" is poor feminism:

Of course, as a result of the oppression women face growing up in such a violently anti-woman environment, some women draw a line between women as allies and men as enemies. While it’s understandable that an individual might do so out of fear, this approach fails as theory. It lumps John Brown and John D. Rockefeller together as enemies and Sojourner Truth and Margaret Thatcher together as allies. This view of who to trust and who to dread will not keep women safe or keep the movement on course.

How feminine men are victims of gender oppression:

The oppression of feminine men is an important one to me, since I consider drag queens to be my sisters. I’ve heard women criticize drag queens for “mocking women’s oppression” by imitating femininity to an extreme, just as I’ve been told that I am imitating men. Feminists are justifiably angry at women’s oppression - so am I! I believe, however, that those who denounce drag queens aim their criticism at the wrong people. This misunderstanding doesn’t take gender oppression into account. For instance, to criticize male-to-female drag performers, but leave out a discussion of gender oppression, lumps drag queen RuPaul together with men like actor John Wayne! RuPaul is a victim of gender oppression, as well as of racism.

How masculine women are assumed to know less about gender oppression:

But I grew up very masculine, so the complex and powerful set of skills that feminine girls developed to walk safely through the world were useless to me. I had to learn a very different set of skills, many of them martial. While we both grew up as girls, our experiences were dissimilar because our gender expressions were very different. Masculine girls and women face terrible condemnation and brutality including sexual violence - for crossing the boundary of what is “acceptable” female expression. But masculine women are not assumed to have a very high consciousness about fighting women’s oppression, since we are thought to be imitating men.

And as you said, how trans men deserve access to women's and lesbian's spaces without having their transmasculinity ignored or seen as being butch-in-denial:

And our female-to-male transsexual brothers have a right to feel welcome at women’s movement events or lesbian bars. However, that shouldn’t feed into to misconception that all female-to-male transsexuals were butches who just couldn’t deal with their oppression as lesbians. If that were true, then why does a large percentage of post-transition transsexual men identify as gay and bisexual, which may have placed them in a heterosexual or bisexual status before their transition? There are transsexual men who did help build the women’s and lesbian communities, and still have a large base of friends there. They should enjoy the support of women on their journey. Doesn’t everyone want their friends around them at a time of great change? And women could learn a great deal about what it means to be a man or a woman from sharing the lessons of transition.

Not that "trans women belong in feminism" wouldn't be a good point on its own, but people's selectivity with which parts of that chapter they share definitely warrant scrutiny.

[a-faggot-with-opinions]

Responding To The "Aromantic Manifesto"

So I found this aromantic manifesto earlier today and I have many thoughts and opinions about it. Mainly that it's really bad, and it is homophobic. It uses a lot of big words and complicated language to sound smart, but it's not actually conveying good ideas. I'm going to respond to it piece by piece. By the way, I am aromantic, but I am also gay, so that's the perspective I'm looking at this through.

The main points of this manifesto, as outlined in the beginning, are:

"Romance is inherently queerphobic."

"The organisation of queerness around the celebration and pursuit of romantic desires and pleasures reinforces queer oppression."

"Queer liberation must abolish romance as its long-term goal."

Point 1 is bad because the activism for lesbian, gay, and bisexual rights has LITERALLY been all about being able to love whoever we want to. We didn't fight for centuries to legalize gay marriage to have someone say that us loving someone else is inherently queerphobic. Implying that gay love is somehow oppressing someone else makes you the queerphobic one.

Point 2 is wrong because we've been fighting for our rights for literal centuries, and we've already decided that trying to repress our sexualities for any reason, is actually bad and contributing to our own oppression. The only way to make real progress in solving queer oppression is by expressing ourselves loudly. It's okay to dislike amatonormativity. I dislike amatonormativity. But that doesn't give you an excuse to be homophobic.

Point 3 is even more incorrect. That's because a movement that is fighting for people historically marginalized based on who we love isn't going to have abolishing romantic love as a goal. It's okay to be aromantic and not want romance. The problem comes in when you try to force everyone else to repress their romantic desires because you simply don't like it. That's bad.

The next part is extremely insulting to me as a trans person. They compare gay men wanting to date other men and not wanting to date women to gay men wanting to date trans men. Newsflash, assholes: trans men are men!

If straight people can’t help who they love, then neither can gay people. Nor, one might suppose, racists and transphobes, and people who find disability and fatness unattractive.

This is an obvious homophobic argument. They're implying by this that gay men not wanting to date women is the same as gay men not wanting to date trans men, implying that men who don't love women are misogynistic. It's transphobic to compare the experience of being gay to transphobia. Tell me you've never spoken to a trans person in your life without telling me.

Queer oppression is not just the experience of prohibited desire. It is also the experience of hierarchical and violent desire. It is also the experience of undesirability.

What the fuck are they even saying right here? Queer oppression is literally about the experience of prohibited desire and the lack of experience of expected desire. I can maybe understand where undesirability comes into play, since especially as a trans person I get cis people trying to equate my sexual attractiveness with my worth as a human being, but experiencing hierarchical and violent desire?

This reads as someone saying that queer romance is inherently evil and we're oppressing ourselves and we're totally at fault for our own oppression. QUEER ROMANCE AND SEXUALITY ARE NOT INHERENTLY EVIL AND SAYING THAT THEY ARE IS HOMOPHOBIC, IT'S 2023. Why is this even a hot take?

The next section talks about the "privatisation of love," which is a model for why they think that queer activism has been missing the entire point. Let's see what this author has to say about that.

While the domestic sphere fashioned by heterosexual kinship relations has been historically designated as private life, queer intimacies have instead been regarded as a matter of public concern due to moral panics associating them with predation and perversion throughout history.

This is a very sloppy, incomplete reading of the way that homophobia works. I'm not going to get into my theory of how homophobia works in this post, but anyone who's actually experienced homophobia in their lives will tell you that this ain't it. For one example of how that's incomplete, in recent years queer people have been encouraged by society and especially the right to hide our queerness and abandon our culture in favor of mainstream society. This isn't trying to make us a matter of public concern, it's trying to make us disappear. This isn't how oppression works.

This next section focuses on how romantic love is allegedly used as a hierarchy.

People who regarded as romantically attractive are invariably upward-mobile, white-proximate, gender-appropriate, able-bodied, slender/muscular etc.

Maybe. Just maybe. That is just a reflection of how society views people who aren't white, aren't gender conforming, are disabled, and are fat. Racism, transphobia, ableism, and fatphobia weren't invented by romance. The way that romance in our society works simply reflects those things that already existed. "I just find them unattractive" has been an excuse to discriminate against people for ages. That isn't because romance is inherently THE hierarchy, but instead it's because it's used as an excuse.

Often, calling romantic partners “compatible” just means their placements on the romantic hierarchy are relatively equal in privilege. Calling romantically unattractive people “compatible” with each other, on the other hand, easily sounds condescending.

I don't have much to say about this. This is simply not how romance works. While compatibility is not a great concept and I have critiqued it before, this ain't it.

Queer romantic ideals remain incredibly heteronormative, only celebrating the most privileged and “compatible” of queers and condemning more marginalized queer people all the same.

This quote is really interesting because it's pointing out a very real issue with society (the fact that society encourages assimilated queers) and tries to blame queer activists for it. No, we do not want to assimilate. Society wants us to assimilate, and some of us try to do so. However talking to most queer activists will reveal that we don't want to assimilate. We want to be treated with basic respect.

Queer romance does not resist heteronormativity as much as it assimilates queer desire, making us hold on tightly to whichever relative privileges we have and hate ourselves for whichever we don’t.

Hello? This is projection. This is exactly what the person writing this manifesto has been doing the whole fucking time.

By peddling the illusion that romance can be made queer, heteronormative capitalism forces queer people to try solve their problems of undesirability and unhappiness privately by finding the “right” partner, rather than directing their anger towards public action.

Gay people in the past got into romantic relationships that often got us killed. Did we do that because of heteronormative capitalism trying to force us to find someone? No. What the actual fuck are these people even talking about.

We propose aromanticism as a counterpublic that responds to queerphobic violence by mobilising public resistance instead of escaping inwards. Aromanticism is a principled commitment to finding radically nonviolent ways of relating to others.

There's so much to unpack in this quote. Firstly, the author believes that aromanticism is a choice. It is not. I was born aromantic and even if I choose to get into a relationship that does not make me any less aro. This is also implying that (gay) romance is inherently violent, which is Homophobia 101.

If you already have a romantic partner, we are not asking you to “leave” them, but to aspire to love them in a different, queerer way.

There's no such thing as more or less queer. If you're queer, and you love someone, congratulations, that's queer love. It doesn't become more queer if you call it something other than romance.

I'm not going to go over the last part, but this last quote is some icing on the cake of homophobia we've just eaten.

Just be aware that similar hierarchies of desirability exist in sex as in romance.

It shouldn't be a hot take in the year 2023 that claiming that all sex is bad is a very culturally Christian thing to do, as well as being very traditionally homophobic. Sex negativity is weaponized against queer people far more often that it is against cishets.

To conclude, I'm just going to say that this manifesto takes real frustrations that even I have with amatonormativity, and turns them into denial that romance exists, and blatant homophobia. It's also very hard to understand, so if I misinterpreted something, please do let me know. While I do think that aphobia is bad, being homophobic isn't a solution and is just going to cause us to be hated even more, as well as alienating gay aros.

[risinjg]

hi guys,

haven’t posted on here in a while. i’m posting today because i’m in extreme need of help with my rent.

i’m a vulnerable trans masc and i’m facing potential homelessness and i have set up a gofundme so if anyone is able to spare a bit of change to help me out, i’d really appreciate it.

i put some of my interests in the tags to hopefully find people with similar interests that might help me out :)

[katyspersonal]

/internalized biphobia vent

I have been feeling pretty bad about something else for about a month now, but I've been trying to neglect it hoping it would go away on its own.. did not help that I do not know who TO talk about it with. And I know ever since I've split with arguably the closest person I've ever had in my life, I've been having multiple identity crisises anyways, trying to remember who WAS I before them.

But, while I've been psychologically vulnerable, takes like "why women say they're bisexual and then never show attraction to women" got under my skin...? You know how acknowledging the fact of breathing makes you lose the 'automatization' of this process and you start paying attention to it? This is kinda what happened with me and attraction to women (and female characters, since as an autist I interact and explore myself vicariously through fiction 80% of the time). I've been attracted to women since childhood and even before I knew being gay or bi was a thing, I've been expressing that attraction since then and until this point without thinking about it; but now I started to think about it. Noticing it, in the same way as trying to take breaths intentionally. Have I been liking men (male characters) """too much""" recently, to the point of not seeming like I like women too? Have I mentioned liking at least one girl? Have I fantasized about wlw relationship today?

So since I've "forgotten how to breathe because of acknowledging the fact", it started to cause me severe discomfort. It used to be automatic, but stopped being so. I've just listened a little too many takes having to do with not really liking / caring about the girls. The side effect though is even worse? Honestly? I am struggling against the idea of "requalifying" as either a confused heterosexual or a confused lesbian upon figuring out which gender I like """more""" and repressing other attraction. ...except this is NOT how it works, this is how it will NEVER work, and it has NEVER worked this way and sexuality can't be changed (otherwise all the homophobic parents would've been able to influence their gay kids lol). Yet I started to perceive that weird "limit" of liking men, and how much, past which I should remember to like a woman...? I feel like 'not bi enough' if I do not """balance""" the attraction between genders and thus embarrassing myself with liking men. I feel... "dirty"? No matter who I like now? And declaring myself 'straight now' or 'confused lesbian' feels like an escape I am yearning for. I have insentive for both; I initially liked women and attraction to men was something that came to me much later in life, but it doesn't feel "internalized" so what if at some point I was "reborn" on my own terms?

All in all, this discomfort just won't go away. I guess with feeling like I am 'not enough', I am also feeling 'invisible'. Like if no one will "believe" me that I am bi if I am not "proving" it. I start to understand why many people prefer to put up a flag for their identities or put them in the bio. I decided against it because I want to prove a point that it should not matter. That people should not care what my gender or sexuality is, but only should care about what I say or my art or all that. So, if it should not influence how people will perceive me, then I should not address it right off the bat but instead only bring it up casually. And yet, I start to understand the stress of being "invisible".

Sigh.. I guess I just need to recover that sense of inner piece where I knew who I was and was content with it, and perception of others didn't matter. The period between losing an extremely close person and healing is full of need for validation because I've forgot how to be an individual, so sure I have a crisis, and not just one. It is no one's fault if their expression of genuine confusion could destabilize someone online...? It is virtually impossible to control the stereotypes or confusion people outside of [identity] will get. But, it IS possible to control the level of how much social validation is needed. I am just really vulnerable to questioning of my identity for now, and it is up to me to regrow that confidence and inner peace.

[messyhairdiaz]

I can't speak for everyone, but for me personally, the growth I'd like to see from Buck is for him to become more secure in himself and his relationships (romantic or otherwise). The start of this one was entirely based on him being confused and insecure, resulting in him lashing out in a way that hurt other people. While I think he has made some strides in the right direction, there are a lot of the same elements still there that I think he needs to work on. I don't think he necessarily needs to be single to do so, but the idea that this relationship had fully cured him as well as the one that his only problem was just not knowing he was bisexual make me really uncomfortable. Some specific things I'd like to see him work on:

His own agency- a lot of Buck's relationships have an almost (or actual) mentor vibe or a general 'humoring the silly immature guy' vibe (cough Taylor). I'd like to see him become more of an equal partner.

Managing his emotions better - Buck has a tendency to always leap to the most extreme reaction (lawsuit, pushing Eddie) when he feels hurt. This is an aspect of him that I think will always exist, and I don't have a problem with that, but I would like to see him get better at managing it instead of always lashing out.

Thinking things through before jumping into a relationship - this one I actually think he has gotten better about. While he didn't fully understand what he was feeling with Tommy, he did clearly have an interest without any outside reasoning (like with Natalia being a death doula) and he did specifically say he wasn't fully sure what he was looking for yet but wanted to try.

In general, I don't really care too much for the idea of a hamster wheel at all. Growth is not linear and always involves some backtracking, I just don't care for the idea that he has been magically saved by being with a man either.

Ok!!! Thank you for this response

I can agree with a lot of your points here. I don’t think him discovering his bisexuality or getting into a relationship has “fully cured him” either so that’s definitely something we agree on

Because (hijacking your ask here a little bit for this) just to make sure I have been clear on this specific point, I don’t think Buck has suddenly gotten past every issue he’s ever had in these last two episodes. I think he still has leagues to go, just for me personally I think he has taken a step in the right direction with some of what’s happened and my expectations are that we’re going to be seeing more of that if he and Tommy stay together for a little while.

I’m kind of over the hamster wheel thing too at this point lmao, not helped by the fact that I’ve typed those two words a dozen times today.

Jumping back to the mentor part—yeah, I get that. I definitely can see the apt comparisons to his relationship with Abby. I’m going to be interested in seeing how that angle develops.

Managing his emotions—yes! That’s why I really like the part where he kind of calls himself out to Tommy when he’s like “that’s kind of my problem” or whatever he says when they’re talking about him being jealous, that was one of the things that made me perk up a little and go, oh, that’s a little more self aware than he’s been sometimes, it just came a little too late to stop himself from acting on his emotions first. But I think that’s a good step too.

Anyway, thank you. I genuinely am interested in seeing people’s perspectives here.

[goldemas1244]

Zulkarnain (Zul) Hashim bin Kamarul Zaman (Zhask)

@humanthatlikestuff You keep showing your Zhask designs so here I am with mine!

Status:

High school student

Transfer student

Two years unschooled - self-study for PT3

Has a pet Chalcosoma Atlas beetle named Meric

Gamer

Bisexual, Polyamorous

Likes blue

Malay

Attributes:

Has a hair-growing problem; maximum growth reaches underside of butt within a week

Red colourblind, has to wear special glasses

Wears headphones for sensitive hearing

Has a beard but no moustache

Heavily traumatised (DO NOT ASK ABOUT HIS NECK SCAR), covers scars with foundation until comfortable with showing

5'2''

Has back pains often

In love with his best friend Argus (on a manageable level) and Yve (he likes her dominance)

Best friends:

Muhammad Ridzuan Malik bin Ahmad Mikael (Argus) (Chinese-Malay) (Loves Zhask too)

?? (Helcurt) (Indian) (Nobody knows his actual name)

Nur Rafidah binti Ahmad Mikael (Rafaela) (Chinese-Malay) (Argus's twin sister)

Nurhawa binti Adam (Yve) (Malay) (Zhask is also crushing on her)

Aldous bin Mino (Self-explanatory) (Malay) (Minotaur's son)

Favourite teachers: Sir Balmond (Physics teacher), Puan Mak Aldous (Mrs. Aldous's Mom, Maths teacher)

Least favourite subject (Addmaths)

Initial creation:

I first started designing him on a whim for a comic. It actually worked out quite well and has since been the basis of how my humanoid Zhask looks.

I started a short comic series featuring Zhask and his besties. At this point, despite having a favourite person to look forward to, I was extremely lonely. Everyone got mad at me for even the littlest mistakes, I was constantly fatigued, I gave up on life at least twice, absolutely out of control. To add salt, my favourite person also was unliked by all of her classmates so I had to take care of her too. I had to build her up, even slightly, while barely receiving any myself.

I even had a manic attack over a laundry incident. Up until today I can't enter a public shower or wash my clothes by hand OR hang them on a wire because it fucking HURTS. I had to get a psychiatrist and a month or two off school. But despite my wanting to leave I couldn't. No transfer because I've only a few more months left. No longer leave because my favourite person was doing terribly without me so I HAD to come back because if I'm not there then she won't make it.

And so I poured that. I poured it into Zhask. In some worlds I hurt him. In others he was loved. In a world he loses everyone and everything. In another, he gains a husband in an accepting community.

But in this continuity, I gave him friendships. Help, a shoulder to cry on, unlimited trust, smiles every day. I gave him everything I never had. He is myself if everyone just... loved me.

I did give him hurt. But I gave him love to heal it.

I gave him life. The one thing I lost.

[anime-fan93]

Hello! I’m here for an Encanto matchup please! Thank you so much for doing this by the way!

First things first, I’m an adult so I can’t be shipped with any minors, so no Camilo or Mirabel please. I’m also bisexual, so I don’t mind whether you ship me with a man or a woman. And by the way, I also have autism and stim by pacing if that means anything.

Physically I’m a really short adult, I’m only like 5’ tall (152 cm) because I have multiple disabilities, one of which stunted my growth. I have chronic pain basically everywhere but especially in my joints like my hands, hips, back and knees. Just today I’m wearing arthritis gloves, knee braces, compression socks and a scoliosis brace so I kinda look ready to be hospitalized lol. I also faint a lot because of blood pressure issues, and I have asthma and weak bones too. Medically I’m kind of a mess. Anyways, I also have really long wavy (and fluffy) brown hair, glasses and pale skin with lots of moles and freckles. I’m surprisingly muscular but still really slim. My style also switches between masculine and feminine a lot, and I even tend to combine the two. Today I’m wearing a long ankle-length skirt and also a biker’s cut denim jacket on top with a black t-shirt.

I have a bunch of little nervous habits like knocking on wood to prevent jinxes (like Bruno!), biting my lip when I’m nervous, pacing and flapping my hands, making little noises and humming to myself (kinda like Dolores). I’m also learning Greek and Spanish as second languages! I talk with my hands a lot, and I tell crazy stories from my life. I can imagine Mirabel complaining about Isabela and then I’m just like “My siblings used to put me in a trash can and roll me down the stairs” lol. I would also definitely gift Dolores some headphones because I can get pretty loud without really noticing.

I work as a librarian currently, but I’m also learning screenwriting in hopes of actually working at Pixar someday! I write a ton, I have a journal that I’ve kept going for years now, and I’ve picked up a lot of different crafts like sewing and leatherworking.

I’m very polite and extremely friendly, including being really bubbly and excitable. I feel like, maybe aside from the denim jacket, I might be the kind of person even Abuela would like lmao. I shake people’s hands when greeting them and am generally very polite and a little nervous. But it’s easy for me to make people laugh because I have a witty and sarcastic sense of humor, especially combined with my weird life stories. I’m really soft and surprisingly good at giving advice, I’ve often been called “wise beyond my years”. Unfortunately I can be really stubborn and am not quick to forgive, but that’s something I’m trying to work on. I also have a habit of always trying to stay busy and I don’t really know what self care is sometimes, oops.

But yeah, I think that's about it! Sorry if this was too long, I got excited haha. I look forward to seeing who you'll ship me with! Take care of yourself and drink lots of water, bye!

Thank you for requesting!

I match you with...

Pepa!

Even before you two started to date, you would always keep the sun shining and bright when you were around her! Your loudness and energy while talking would match her's, and she would always help massage the areas that were hurting you.

She would talk to you and do fun activities with you while you're nervous to distract you, and would be your No. 1 supporter. She would always stand slightly behind you and would be quick to catch and care for you if you fainted.

She would definitely understand you not being quick to forgive, but would know just how to handle your stubborn moments. She would also help you learn Spanish by having conversations with you in the language to help you become more fluent, and would try to learn Greek with you, the skies becoming more cloudy as she gets frustrated.

She would love your style, and would always adore when you talk with your hand, and would even pick up some of your gestures from being around you and thinking of you so much. Overall, she would absolutely love you!

I hope you enjoyed!

[despairshandvn]

Will You Fall Into Despair?

A string of murders have been occurring at your new university, its up to you and 16 other students with talents, some of which you are already friends with and some of which you just met to to put a end to the killings.

But will you be able to bear the secrets of the others as you get closer to them?

Will you save them from being the next victim?

Or will you fall into despair?

[This VN is still in its writing stages! Minors DNI this VN is 18+!]

FAQ:

-"Who is everybody? What are the names of the characters? What are they're talents?"

Soon......I'm going to make a separate post introducing them all or just probably introduce characters one or a few at a time seeing as this VN has 16 characters! That's alot of characters so I don't think I'll be able to do it all at once but I promise you will meet all my children very soon! But since I'm feeling nice today heres all the names of the characters and their talents!

-"Is this a Danganronpa fan game?"

No, however I did take alot of inspiration from DR. Whenever I first started making these characters a year ago it was originally going to be a DR fan game but now it has evolved into its own story entirely. Now the only thing I took from Danganronpa is the Ultimate part! But even then I have made some differences from the ultimates in DR and the ones in Despairs Hand.

-"Why are there so many characters?"

hehe funny autism and ADHD make the brain go brrrrrr

-"Does this VN have a yandere? If so, who is it?"

Yes! Whenever I introduce characters I will be announcing who the yandere is, and there might even be multiple 👀 but all of it depends on how you treat certain characters on if they have yandere traits or not...

-"Is shipping allowed?"

Yes! Some of the characters are actually already in a relationship with each other! There are even characters that are siblings! But I will say this for the characters that are siblings, shipping them together is not allowed in anyway. They are strictly a sibling relationship and nothing more.

-"Can we ask the characters questions?"

PLEASE DO! I love writing my children and my friend has even helped me by asking questions and I would write stories/responses in response for practice for this blog! So I am begging, please dont feel shy to ask them questions! I love writing them!

-"How old are the characters? How old is _____?"

While I do have ages for all of them I'm going to go ahead and say that all of them are 18 and above!

-"Who is the killer?"

That's for me to know and you to figure out :)

-"Do we/MC live at the university?"

Yes! There are dorms that everybody stays/lives in and I'm currently working on a floor plan to show what the dorms look like. If people want it I'll also show the floor plan of the school itself!

-"Are any of the characters LGBTQ+?"

Yes! Most of them are bisexual/pansexual! Other than them there are 3 lesbians, a demiboy which is also Grayromantic, a Transmasc, and 4 asexuals!

-"Will there be any forth wall breaks?"

Oh dear :)....I have these many characters for a reason....I guess I can let you guys in on SOME secrets but you won't know who it is :)....One character is fully aware they are in a game, one is extremely suicidal and a few might be lying about their talents...

-"Will we see what the characters look like?"

Im working on picrews so I can atleast show they're designs because drawing them would take a while....I'm also a traditional artist so my hands would be screaming in agony-

-"All the characters are human...right?"

Nope! I'm a absoulte sucker for fox boys so Benjamin got the fox boy treatment

-"Will there be any triggers?"

I will be posting all the triggers there might be soon

-"Are there tags for certain characters?"

Yes, I will be putting them in the tags of this post also!

I will put more later but for now this is all I can think about right now

Thank you for reading....

Good luck :)

[mistydeyes]

If it’s still open if not you can completely ignore and delete this message butttt can I get a

MW2 Pairing Please 🥺👉🏼👈🏼

Pronouns: she/her 

Race: I’m Hawaiian, Filipino, German and Italian (I’m a lot more things but these are the one I know by heart.)

Appearance: Recently I buzzed cut my hair so I don’t have my curly hair anymore, Hazel eyes, I would say I’m average height for a female (5’5), I’m more on the curvy size, glasses and light tan skin. 

Personality: Oh boy where do I start, we’ll for staters I can be very goofy and very serious at times, I have a very dry and dark humor when it comes to my jokes, ENTP, usually at work I’m very bubbly and always being a motherly type figure to my kids, but I will add that I am Bipolar so my personality tends to change whenever I hit a manic episode but nothing to hurtful or mean just more of tired and hardly energetic which usually leaves me in bed for a few hours during the day usually on my off days I’ll let it sink in I’ll never bring that type to things to work.

Things I Like to Do: Reading and Playing video games is usually what I like doing on my free time if not I usually go to the gym to get out of the house if I don’t want to be around family, if not I’m usually drawing or doing a bit of voice acting for my friends series she has going on. If not I love a good hike or driving around very late into the night or star gazing.

Job/Interests/Education: I currently work as summer camp group leader which is me helping the kids learn new things, and play fun activities with them. But right now I just signed up for National Guard as a combat medic so I’m hoping I can head to training sometime later this year for my training. As for my education I actually have a associate degree in Digital art…yea 😅 I don’t know how my job or me joining the military even fits in with my degree 😅

Fun facts: I love tattoos and have a few of my own, I have two tarot cards (sun and moon), a ghost face knife and a Star Wars quote, I can speak a little Hawaiian, Spanish and German, I’m also bipolar, bisexual, I’m the only girl and youngest out of 6 kids, little bit autistic usually if I stim I like to trace or hold one of my friends hands or arms (usually my best friend bc he has tattoos on his arm and lets me color it in).

Johnny "Soap" Mactavish

How you met: Military After years in the National Guard, you would think as a combat medic you would have seen it all. But now you had an interesting story as you helped to patch up Johnny Mactavish. After a joint US and UK op, he presented to your tent with not 1 not 3 but 10 shallow knife wounds. The most you had ever seen was maybe 7? "This is a new record," you said as you cleaned his wounds and applied antibiotic ointment. "What can I say, lass? I am a record breaker," he smiled at you as you examined his extremities for any remaining cuts. You grabbed a variety of bandages and went about applying them to the necessary areas. Soon he looked like a child who fell off his bike with the amount of bandages on him. "Alright I think I got all of them," you smiled before taking off your gloves, "just be sure to let them heal and you can replace the bandages in the next few days if they fall off." You made sure to hand him a few extras as you knew combat and traveling would inevitably cause some of them to peel. "And try not to get any more cuts, I don't want my new record to be 11," you said before signing off the appropriate documents and sending him on his way. "Okay, bonnie but I might be seeing you around," he started as he got up, "gotta find more excuses to see your pretty face."

A peek into your relationship: You anxiously looked at your face in the mirror and adjusted your glasses. Today was the day your family would meet your boyfriend. "Nervous?" Johnny asked as he snuck up on you and nearly scared you have to death. "Yes!" you exclaimed before playfully hitting him on the shoulder. You had made sure everything was perfect, preparing some dishes from your childhood and relentlessly running through all the characteristics of your family with Johnny. "I come from a big family, sweetheart, don't worry" he said in an attempt to reassure you. But as you waited at the door, your nerves were unmatched. When the door opened, you saw your 5 older brothers and parents standing there. Your parents were overjoyed to see you but your brothers looked like they were about to eat your boyfriend alive. Your mother quickly ushered you to put down the trays of food and your brothers took Johnny aside for a little talk. As you chatted with your mom about some of the more recent events in your line of work, you could hear a mix of languages happening in the next room. You and your parents peaked your head in to see Johnny and your brothers fully engrossed in a conversation about the nuances of languages. "No you tube, its 'Pishin’ it doon out here'" you could hear your boyfriend say. Your brothers laughed before the oldest one replied, "why wouldn't you just say 'it's a downpour'?"

[transprincemlmw]

I don't want to retype this, but I'm feeling very bisexual up in this Chili's tonight

[homuraeyes]

After reading a lot of posts from febfems and also lesbians I finally came to conclusion that I'm not a lesbian but a bisexual who has a huge preference for girls

I read the comphet masterdoc when my preference for girls became significantly bigger and convinced myself that I may be a lesbian because I'm attracted to girls both romantically and sexually but I'm repulsed by penises and my attraction is very weird when it comes to boys, but the thing is that I DID experience opposite sex attraction in my life and it's something that lesbians will never experience in their entire life

It's uncomfortable for me to realize the fact that I was so confused, but restricting and not accepting my sexuality at it's fullest is not something comfortable and healthy for me either

I understand why I felt like at home when I was in lesbian online spaces and I am thankful to every single one of them, bi female spaces were always too osa centered for me and finding that the term febfem exists made me rethink about my sexuality, I can be 99% into girls and 1% into boys and still be bi, I can choose to never date men in my entire life even If I can be attracted to them and that's ok !

My bisexuality is absolutely natural and it's something I was born with, just like lesbians and gays were born exclusively same sex attracted

I will continue to share posts about issues that lesbians face because of trans movement, this is an extremely important topic for me (that also hurts bi girls/women like me who are penis repulsed and who just want people to leave us alone) and it's the least I can do to thank every single amazing lesbian that helped me to be who I am today

I also want to thank people who helped me realize that I'm not a lesbian after all, if you feel uncomfortable being mentioned on my post please let me know : @reginageourg @comphet-critical @goldstarsappho

I feel extremely sorry for every hate you get by speaking the truth and I'm really thankful for that, you help both lesbian and bi community accept themselves by advocating what lesbianism trully is❤

[drarreckyninja]

drarreckyninja’s top 50 ships of Nov 2022 [7. Tyle]; [6. Spirk]; [5. Icemav]; [4. Catorade; [3. Shassie]; [2. Rinch]; [1. Hannigram]

Todd Wright x Lyle [So Help Me Todd]

Spock Xtmprsqzntwlfb x Jim Kirk [Star Trek: TOS, AOS]

Iceman x Maverick [Top Gun]

Cat Valentine x Tori Vega x Jade West [Victorious]

Shawn Spencer x Carlton Lassiter [Psych]

John Reese x Harold Finch [Person of Interest]

Hannibal Lecter x Will Graham [Hannibal]

art pinned by SOFIA [Pinterest]

art pinned by Niiv [Pinterest]

EAD: Todd's the youngest sibling, born in 1989, making him 33 in 2022. Lyle is in his mid-thirties, which is defined as 34-36. There's a 1-3 year age gap.

Easy. Spock is 3 years older than Jim.

Iceman was born in 1959, and Maverick was born in 1963: 4 years.

Cat's birthday is June 26th, 1995; Tori's birthday is February 19, 1993; Jade's birthday is July 26th, 1993. There are 157 days between Jade and Tori, 2 years between Tori and Cat, and 28 months and 7 days between Tori and Cat.

Shawn was born in 1977, and Carlton was born in 1968, so there’s a 9-year age difference.

John B. Warren is John Reese's clean cover identity which he only uses under extreme circumstances, and he's 42 in series 02. Harold is 17 (being a late teenager yet not an adult) in 1979, which would make him 51 while John B. Warren is active. There's a 9-year gap.

In series 01, Hannibal is 49 and Will is 38. It's an 11-year gap.

Incorrect Quotes:

Todd: I wish I was a dinosaur.

Lyle: Why? Cause they're big and scary?

Todd: Because they're dead.

Jim: Do you know a turtles only weakness?

Spock: No... well, their slowness.

Jim: Their weaknesss is they can't roll over when they are on their backs.

Jim: Now I have a plan.

Jim: If I duct tape two turtles together, they'll be unstoppable.

Maverick: I don't know, it's not my cup of tea.

Iceman: Well then whose is it?

Maverick, staring at a cup of tea: I don't know!

Tori: Jade you can’t move in with Cat.

Jade: Why not?

Tori: Well, um, how are you going to feel when she sees you without any makeup?

Jade: I’m not wearing makeup right now.

Tori: Holy crap, you’re beautiful.

Carlton: So we're gathered here today for a very special reason and I think you'll all agree with me here.

Carlton: And if you don't well then fuck you.

Carlton: I'm looking at you, Shawn, you jealous mop.

Harold: I want to be with you for the rest of my life.

John: Damn, that sounds like a marriage proposal.

Harold, getting down on one knee: That's 'cause it is.

Will, holding a fork: You know you're talking a lot of shit for someone who has 2 perfectly good eyeballs each cost about $16,000 on the black market.

Hannibal: ....

Will: *lip smack*

Subship(s): Scones [Scotty x Bones]; Chulu [Pavel x Hikaru]; Nytine [Nyota x Christine]; Gaipring [Gaila x T'Pring]; Hangster [Hangman x Rooster]; Reck [Robbie x Beck]; Scarlias [Marconi x Elias]; Shoot [Shaw x Root]; Preller [Jimmy x Brian]

Notes: So Help Me Todd is an amazing new show, and I am anticipating the slow burn enemies to friends to lovers between Todd and Lyle. It's already canon that Todd is bisexual with his blatant agreement that Francey's husband is hot. Spock and Jim are definitely more than "just friends" in TOS. Have you seen Iceman and Maverick's interactions? Cat x Tori x Jade = the perfect combo. Rewatch Victorious with a slow burn on them three as endgame. Shawn and Carlton certainly grow closer - until the weird shift around This Episode Sucks. John and Harold have a cover identity where THEY ARE A COUPLE. Hannibal and Will have a fucked-up relationship, but there is some weird romancing, and it is canon.

[burntotears]

Coming Out?

How I erased my bisexuality through shame.

[I originally wrote this in 2020 when I "officially came out", but thought I would share it here today.]

I have always considered myself as straight. Most of my relationships in high school and beyond were with men. However, at the end of high school and the beginning of college I realized that I was in love with my best (girl) friend. We were very tactile as friends and I absolutely got aroused when we would cuddle — which is something we did quite often. I liked to pretend that it was just an instinctual reaction that a depressed individual who has always been comforted by physical touch would have, but 15 years of reflection and growth on my part has told me quite clearly otherwise.

My first two years of college were in Boston, Massachusetts, a mere 1,587 miles from the small, conservative town in Texas that I grew up in. I was always progressive by nature, so hiking up to Beantown was an unbelievably exciting adventure for me. Also scary as hell, but I will never forget the time I spent there, the friends I made, and how refreshing it was to live in a more loving and accepting culture.

My best friend from high school actually moved to Boston too and we became roommates with another friend of ours. Once I was submerged in this liberal society, I began to really comprehend how I felt about my best friend. A large part of that was my tendency toward horrible jealousy — a personality flaw that is accredited to my depression and which I have battled with in every single relationship I’ve ever been in. I told myself, “If I am this jealous of my best friend having these interactions with other people, obviously that means I am bisexual and want to date her, right?”

I ‘came out’ to my mother, though I never told anyone else in my family. My mom was nice and understanding about it, but she also doesn’t believe that bisexuality is ‘real’. She is of the mind that once you settle down with a gender, that means you are gay or straight. I don’t fault her for this belief — it’s one that a lot of people can’t seem to reconcile in their heads. But she did tell me that she didn’t think I was bisexual and that sort of stuck with me.

My best friend and I started dating. There honestly wasn’t a lot that changed from our friendship before. I was still a virgin and had never kissed anyone and for some reason sexual intimacy had always scared me. In fact, back in high school I had a few of my good friends come to me and solemnly admit, “[Emmie]… I had sex.” It was as though they thought I would condemn them for doing so. I didn’t; I told them it just wasn’t something I was ready for. I hadn’t even kissed anyone when I graduated high school. Actually, I never really participated in anything considered ‘bad’ in high school; the craziest thing I did was write fanfiction that involved gay characters. I know, I was wild.

So my first kiss (which was just a peck) was with my best friend while we were dating. I continued to be uncomfortable by sexual intimacy regardless of the fact that I was consistently turned on when we touched. So our relationship never evolved toward sex.

I don’t rightly remember how long we dated, but it was probably only around three months. When I went home for Christmas break during my second year of college, we were still dating. This was when I started the ball rolling toward fucking my friendship with her up forever. I wrote her an email while I was back home and to summarize it, I said, “You’ve helped me realize that I’m not bi.” Yes, it was horrible to say and yes, now that I am older and wiser than I was at 19, I understand just how hurtful it was.

When I went back to Boston in January that school year, I got very homesick and decided to move back to small town Texas. I was obviously still depressed and after making my life extremely awkward with my best friend while still being her roommate, I decided it was time to go.

We tried to keep in touch and remain friends, but she was rightfully hurt and I was also quite selfish. I had a terrible time comprehending why she found it difficult to talk to me like we had when we were just friends. I had not even considered the implications of the statement I gave her for our breakup. Unsurprisingly, we didn’t stay friends for much longer. I still have the emails that I exchanged with her back then and I am honestly appalled by how I spoke to her; it is a part of my past I will never be able to look back on without shame.

This wasn’t meant to chronicle the disappointing behavior I conducted myself with back then, but it is important to explain if only because it was then that I decided to be ‘only straight’. As years passed, I realized that a) I absolutely am bisexual, b) I used straight as an excuse to run away rather than face my own issues, and c) I had been a horrible friend to someone that I loved dearly. As a result, I think I closeted myself in a sort of personal penance. In June of every year I explode with love and support for my LGBTQ friends, but continue to deny that I’m bisexual enough to claim the moniker. I say, “Because I mostly date men, I have no right to call myself bisexual. Because I only dated one woman and terrorized her and the relationship, I don’t deserve to be bisexual or claim a part in the community.”

I’ve been married (to my husband) for five years now and we’ve been together for six. I love him and he’s stuck with me forever, so I think that I should at least stop using my marriage as a smokescreen for my bisexuality. Admitting to it really just gives me the chance to be more open with myself and to own that the mistakes I committed in the past were my fault. And hopefully, one day, I may be able to forgive myself for them.

[sleepyivoryrose]

Day four of my social training ( I think...I’m already losing track)

Today it went pretty well! The people were mostly fine (there was one dude making a ruckus, but they weren’t the usual suspects) and the time flew relatively fast by. I could even eat with them! Normally you have to write yourself down on a paper, if you want to have food... Scrambled eggs with spinach and potatoes (very typical for this region) It was nice! I never work so much for my own lunch (why should I, it’s only for me after all, two hours of cooking just to eat everything alone is kinda sad) and it’s pretty affordable, so today I ate well. Well...mostly. I was very nervous because I am experimenting with something, so I ate quite a lot of chocolate and sweets. One of this days it’s gonna kill me. Why is self-discipline so freaking hard? Maybe I’m just spoiled...

I still have to watch my new anime episodes...probably for dinner. I should get cooking. But with this heat, I am really not in the mood for stew...it’s probably gonna be store-sushi again. 

Or I wait till it cooled down a little at night. But if I got the windows open, mosquitos come in...

...no, sushi it is. I’ll cook the chicken for dinner tomorrow. 

...I think I spoiled my apetite with the sweets. Damnit. I didn’t exactly think this through, didn’t I? 

Okay, I’ll wait an hour or so. Maybe the falling sugar level will open the apetite again. 

Oh! And today I wore one of my dresses. I normally it feels awkward, and it annoys me that my thights rub each other and create sort of burn marks. No, not that extreme, just...they get verry irritated, very red, that’s what I meant. 

Sometimes, and only sometimes, it does feel good to listen to light academia and wear a spring dress, imagining frolicking through the flower fields. 

You can’t do that exactly over here in the park area, since everything is, and pardon my language, shat to hell and back by dogs. But I like to reminisce about the times I went with my dad, walking through the woods. 

It’s also very awkward, because I do that so rarely that everyone that knows me comments on it. It’s very embarrassing. 

At least it doesn’t emphasize my giant belly. 

I think that’s all...?

No, wait. I’m kinda worried about my friend. She barely sleeps, works a lot, inside and outside her home, and is scraping by right now. I tried to convince her to let me help her, financially or emotionally, but she outright refused. Pride can only take you so far...

Talking about pride...it’s that time of the year again, isn’t it? is it weird to congratulate others on the pride month when you’re bisexual yourself? or is that okay? I don’t know. I only had one queer friend once, and we aren’t friends anymore because I messed up. So I’m not exactly up to date with the customs. 

Well, I guess I can at least say it here, for anyone that stumbles over these words...

Happy Pride Month!

[yaysandnays]

recovering documentation

this blog is another branch off of @ohmygodletmesignup (the other one being @amethyst-beetle ). i made this blog to document my process of recovering. i suppose this post will be my little introduction.

TW for mental illness, sh, and su!c!dal thoughts discussion

hi. i'm Calisto (Cal) or Beetle (Bee). i'm 16 years old and writing this on 4/2/2023 (or on april third if you give me a few more minutes). i'm currently trying to recover from depression, anxiety, and what i've been told is likely ptsd. i'm going to give an extremely watered down version of how i ended up with all those.

---------------

basically, before 7th grade started (i was 12ish), my mom, sister, and i moved to a whole new place bc of a job offer my mom got. that meant i had to start a new school, and the only good schools in the area were private catholic schools. so i went to one. now i was raised some flavor of christian, so catholisim wasn't too bad for me (at first). but everything quickly went downhill.

i made one extremely toxic friend after two weeks of extreme anxiety, and she didnt help my mental health in the least. after about a year with her, i was constantly on the verge of having panic attacks. literally every single day.

then, in 8th grade, my school made an openly homophobic move. i was questioning my sexuality at the time, and this didnt help.

finally, at the end of 9th grade, we moved back to our old town where we still live today. i was 15.

finally i could actually be openly transgender (trans guy, he/him) and bisexual for the first time ever. my anxiety and depression disappeared so quickly it was shocking. but some things stuck, things i didnt even know.

it was mild at first- and i didnt even know anything was wrong. sometimes i would be walking down the hall of my new school and see someone who looked similar to someone at my old school. it would make me question things, and i wouldnt be able to figure out where i was. it was a pretty easy fix though, just a few minutes and i'd be fine.

then it got so much worse.

i was in choir, and it's a tradition we sing hallelujah every year (though since it was my first year there, i didn't know lol). so our director gives us the music, and just reading the words makes me start to bounce my leg (something that means im either energetic or anxious). then we started singing. and i couldn't handle it.

i started shaking, a lot, and i had to tell the director whilst on the verge of tears that i couldnt do it. he excused me and i spent the rest of class in another room just trying to calm myself down.

'you're safe' 'you're ok' 'you're safe i promise' is what i told myself over and over and over again.

during the concert when we got to that song, i was excused.

then my mom tried taking my sister and i to a christmas mass a few weeks later. i lasted five minutes before i had to go to the bathroom where i spent the rest of the hour sobbing through a panic attack, trying to convince myself i was ok.

----------------------------

TLDR: catholic school, toxic friend, religious trauma

so that's what happened, now here's where i am.

i haven't hurt myself in over a year, maybe two now, and it's been at least a year since i've had a suicidal thought. i've found a lot of my triggers and can avoid them too, which is nice. i havent had a relgious trauma fueled panic attack in a while. i also have a therapist who listens to me.

i think it's also important i set some goals for myself too. and i think two are good for now.

write a post when i get unstable so i dont do anything bad

update this blog at least once every two weeks

i also want to make this blog for people going through the same things im going through now or went through. i promise it'll get better, and we can do it together.