#i am literally going nuts in a bad way :(

[evilham06]

crazycrazycrwzycrazycraztcrazycrazy

[reformedmercymain]

My support duo and I are literally unstoppable

[wibble-wobbegong]

i forgot about the it parallels. I should probably do that at some point

[hellfireeddiemunson]

i have bad melted soup brain today and i hate it

[2hightocare]

NO NUT NOVEMBER.

Synopsis: Jungkook didn’t think stuff through when he made a bet for “No Nut November” he seemed to forget that he can’t say no to you.

Pairings: dilf!jungkook x fem!reader

Warnings— SMUT! cussing, kind of drunk sex?, dirty talk, anal, squirting, spanking, size kink!!!!, jk is pussy whipped, jk eating you out, fingering, creampie, unprotected sex (wrap it up!!) rough sex!!, crying from pleasure, hair pulling, fluff at the very end,

a/n: someone lock me the fuck up… this is in the KUWTB universe, jus wanted to get into jk and oc sex life more… enjoy🥹🤍

m.list

“I am not betting a thousand on Jungkook for no nut; November be fucking for real; he’s going to lose twenty minutes in.” Namjoon says knowing his friend and knowing how you have him wrapped around your pinky will have him losing money.

“I can go a whole month without sex, motherfuckers.” Jungkook gasps, running a hand through his wet hair from his previous shower.

It was Halloween night, and the boys just came back from accompanying Iseul and Ye Joon trick or treating down the neighborhood.

“I’m taking my baby to the rich neighborhoods so she can get the full-size candy bars.” Jungkook squeezes Iseul's cheeks, trying to avoid the cute bunny face paint you had drawn on. Your husband, without thinking twice, matched her outfit with the big fluffy bunny ears on the top of his head, bobbing on his head whenever he would move around.

"You literally live in a rich neighborhood.” Ari scolds, sending Jungkook's arm flying up in his defense.

"Trust, I won’t fuck up!” Jungkook defends himself while the boys have a hard time believing him; the boys only sighed before agreeing.

…

 

Jungkook couldn’t do it; his dick immediately hardened as he saw you walking down the stairs in your playboy bunny costume, the small black leather skirt that barely covers your ass, and your black thong visible to everyone. The black long-sleeve crop top and the bunny ears had him stressing and wishing he wouldn’t have made that bet.

“Fuck, you look beautiful, baby." Jungkook wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you in possessively. His hand lowered to your ass before giving a soft squeeze; you didn’t even bat an eye.

“Thank you, my love.” You give him a quick peck before looking down at his all-black outfit. “You look handsome, daddy,” you wink before walking to the kitchen where Eunbi and Jia were.

You had taken a new habit of calling Jungkook Daddy a joke, and he knew that, but right now the word just worsened the hard problem he has in his pants.

It’s around three in the morning now, and the house is a mess. Iseul is staying with your mother-in-law, who volunteered to take care of her for the night. You were definitely drunk; Ari and Lora came in the house already fucked up, and them being bad influences made you and all the girls take shot after shot, so here you were dancing in your living room as the guys sat on the couch watching you all.

“I think I might owe you all a thousand." Jungkook sighs at his friends. Who’s head snaps at him in shock? “You fucking lost already; are you serious? It's been like three hours!?” Seokjin gasps, and Jimin giggles beside him.

That’s when everyone pulls their wallets and drops wads of cash in Jimin's hands. “I fucking told you he wouldn’t last." Jimin snickers as he counts the money in his hands.

“You guys have no faith in me! I haven’t done anything."Jungkook whispers the last part, "Oh." Jimin says he is disappointed before handing the money back to the corresponding boys.

“Then why do you say that?" Hoseok sighs, putting the hundred back in his wallet before tucking it in his back pocket.

“She’s dressed as a playboy bunny!! A sexy ass playboy bunny.” Jungkook whispers, “Please come on; you would fuck y/n in a garbage bag.” Yoongi says, before sending a signal to Eunbi to stop drinking, to which she only nods 'no', making Yoongi stand up and march her way.

“She would look good in anything—better without anything, actually.” Jungkook says as he sees you down, another shot making him shoot up his seat.

“No more alcohol for you, baby.” He takes the shot glass out of your hands, putting his arm around your waist to keep you stabilized. "Babyyy,” you pout, looking up at him, fisting his shirt, and pulling him closer to your face. 

“What princess?” He says softly, your faces almost touching each other; he can smell the alcohol. “I’m so drunk.” You slur with a goofy smile on your face, gripping onto his shoulders, raising your legs behind you, and reaching for your heel, making you stumble backwards just for Yoongi and Jungkook to stabilize you.

"Yeah, we’re leaving,” Yoongi says as he holds onto Eunbi, who’s slurring a bunch of nonsense, “but I don’t want to leave!" Eunbi whines as Yoongi chuckles as he drags her to the front door.

“We should leave too, then,” all the boys say, standing up and wishing everyone goodbye. “Let’s go, my love,” Taehyung tells Ari, who’s lying on the ground, her police officer outfit long gone, replaced with the big t-shirt you had handed her earlier.

"Nooo, I want to stay with y/n!” She gets picked up by Taehyung, who shushes her with a kiss. “You reek like alcohol,” he chuckles before giving Jungkook a head nod and walking out, Jimin and Namjoon following behind them, being the last ones out, the rest long gone.

Jungkook lays you on the couch, kneeling down, unstrapping your heels, and taking them off before kissing the top of your shin. Making you moan in relief.

“My feet hurt so bad!” You whine loudly before bringing your feet into your chest, making your skirt ride up, giving Jungkook a perfect view of your covered pussy. 

He wanted nothing to open your legs, put your panties aside, and eat you out at that moment, but one, you were drunk, and two, the stupid bet he made yesterday. So instead of doing all that, he stood up and made his way to the main door, locking it before making his way back to you, taking his dirty shirt off in the process.

“You are so hot... Could you maybe have my baby?” You pout, looking up at him, who’s hovering over you with a smile on his face. “You already had my baby, princess.” He chuckles at you, making grabby hands up at him.

“Then another one?” You slur with the goofiest smile on your face as he picks you up, your legs immediately wrapping around his torso as your arms wrap around his neck. “You would slap yourself if you heard yourself right now, baby.” He laughs as you snuggle your face into his neck. 

“If it’s a girl, what would we name her?” You slur your words as Jungkook starts making his way upstairs to your guy's room. “I don’t know, princess, do you know?” He asks you, taking one step at a time. 

“I like Nabi," you giggle. “I like Nabi.” Jungkook repeats after you, giving your puffed-out cheek a wet kiss. “And if it’s a boy, we can name it Junior.” Jungkook suggests entering your guys room.

“Ew no!” You shake your head, sticking your tongue out like you just ate something disgusting. “That’s offensive; you don’t like my name?” Jungkook puts you gently on the bed, crossing his arms in front of him, making his muscles flex as he watches you bite your lip while you look up to him.

“Of course I do. It’s just that’s the name I scream out when I’m getting railed. I don’t want my son to have that name." You shiver from the thought, leaving Jungkook speechless from your boldness.

“Y/n!” He chokes out, "What? I’m being honest!” You slur, trying to put your shirt over your head, only to get stuck with your hands up in the air. “Help me!" you whine.

Your husband laughs immediately, helping you take your shirt off before throwing it somewhere in the room. He watches you struggle to reach behind you to unclip your bra. 

“Turn around, baby; let me help.” He orders, and who are you to say no?

“Mkay,” you say, turning around and letting Jungkook unclip it with his hand, making your bra drop onto the bed. And with that, you fall face-first into the bed. "Yeah, no, get up. We need to brush your teeth and take your makeup off. Come on.” Jungkook picks up your frame as you whine loudly. 

As Jungkook drags you to your guy's shared bathroom in only your skirt, Jungkook sets you up on the sink, and you bring your knees up against you again, making Jungkook want to run into a wall.

Seeing you with your smudge eyeliner and mascara has his thoughts running wild. You are topless, and the tiniest skirt he has ever seen you wear has him imagining how he could bend you over, lift your skirt up, and fuck you raw.

He shakes his thoughts off, getting your light pink toothbrush and lathering it with toothpaste before passing it to you. You lazily brush your teeth with your eyes closed, making small sounds at random times as Jungkook brushes his teeth as well.

“I'm dizzy.. My head is spinning.” You giggle as toothpaste is still in your mouth before spitting it out. Jungkook makes a little bowl with his hand, putting his palm underneath the water and accumulating a good amount before bringing it into your mouth, which you then swish around your mouth before spitting it out into the sink.

“All done," you clap your hands, trying to get off the counter.

“You need to take your makeup off; where are your makeup wipes?” Jungkook asks as he goes through all your skincare and makeup.

“How the fuck do you know what a makeup wipe is?" You slur, your brows furrowing, as you wrap your arms around your legs and up your chest. “Baby what?” Jungkook laughs at your question, knowing he has taken off your makeup countless times before this one.

“I'm mad now.” You pout, pushing your husband's hands off your knees. "Baby, please, I have only taken your makeup off. I promise." Jungkook raises his pinky, which you only glare at.

“Did you fuck her in the legs-up position? Because that’s our position.” You slur once again, making Jungkook chuckle in front of you.

“Baby, trust me, I would not fuck anyone in any position that isn’t you,” he reassures as you stare at his pinky that’s still in the air. “Okay,” you pout in defeat, interlocking your pinky with his.

“You can’t be lying because that’s a pinky promise,” you warn. “Of course, baby,” he says, giving you a kiss on your forehead before opening the small packet. “Be gentle," you whine as you stare at your shirtless boyfriend, who takes a wipeout.

He only nods, holding your neck like a necklace to keep your head straight, and starts taking off your makeup. “I’m hungry,” you say as your eyes flutter closed.

“It’s three in the morning, princess; there's nothing open right now.” Jungkook smiles at your scrunched-up expression. “Did you eat all the cookies?" You peek your eye open. “Maybe..” Jungkook whispers, dropping the dirty wipe in the trash can beside him.

“What! You don’t even share with me anymore.” You mumble as Jungkook picks you up and makes his way to your shared bed, dropping you on it. “I share everything with you, baby,” he says as he undoes his pants to slide into bed with you.

You stare at your husband through your eyelashes as you struggle to take off your skirt. “Need help?” Jungkook chuckles under breath as his pants fall to the ground, leaving him in only a pair of black boxers, his print clearly visible.

"Mhm," you nod, biting your lip as you tilt your head to the side to get a better view in between his pants as he reaches for the zipper on your skirt, pulling it down. "Up, baby,” he orders. You do as he says and raise your bottom up, letting him pull your skirt off, leaving you in your thong.

Jungkook drops the skirt on the floor as he watches you lying on the bed with nothing but the black piece of clothing covering your center. His breath rises as he watches you reach between your legs and move your panties to the side, giving him a perfect view of you.

“I’m so wet, baby, help me,” you whine as you run a finger through your drenched slit. "Baby, I can’t,” he hushes as his dick twitches in his briefs. 

“I’m not that drunk anymore, I promise.” You mumble, giving your pussy a little slap. “Fuck,” you moan.

Jungkook very much wanted nothing but to slam into you in this exact moment, but did he really not have self-control when it came to you? He thought to himself.

"Please... if not, I’ll just fuck myself with my fingers.” You giggled, bringing your index and middle fingers up to your mouth, sucking and twirling your tongue on the tips, all while remaining eye contact with your husband, who’s fighting with himself whenever he wants to control himself or fuck you into the mattress.

But when Jungkook saw you insert a finger, he realized he didn’t have self-control when it came to you, and actually, he could give zero fucks about it, plus one thousand was nothing compared to you.

“Fuck it!” Jungkook grabbed a hold of your hands before pinning them up to your head, making you giggle loudly. “Hi.” You giggle as his face is just a few inches away from yours, and his eyes scan your face. “Hi.” He chuckles and smashes his lips against yours.

You moan softly as he wastes no time inserting his tongue into your mouth. His tongue glides along yours, making noise each time you part apart to breathe. Jungkook abandons your lips, moving to your neck, licking, sucking, and blowing.

“I want to eat you out,” he mumbles into your neck between sucking, leaving purplish red marks. He slowly makes his way down your body, all while remaining in eye contact with you. You use your elbows to prop yourself up, getting a clear view of your husband between your legs.

He chuckles, blowing a kiss to your clit making your hips buck forward, a choked moan leaves your mouth. “You’re dripping for me." He runs a finger through your puffy slit, spreading your arousal all over your pussy. 

You feel your wetness ooze down to your puckered hole and maybe even to the gray sheets underneath you. Jungkook tauntingly hovered over your aching center. “Please, fuck,” you buck your hips up again, making him pin you down.

Jungkook gives your cunt a long and slow lick, “shit.” You whine, your legs squeezing around his face, as he starts lapping on your clit, swirling and sucking. His saliva and your juices mixing together.

He pushes your legs up, spreading your pussy more for him. As he continues to suck harshly on your clit your fingers rake in his hair, pulling roughly whenever he would non-stop flick his tongue on your bud, making you shake. "Fuck, you’re going to make cum.” Your eyes roll back into your head.

Jungkooks cock is painfully hard in his briefs; he shifts from his position in hope to relieve some of the pressure, but it only twitches in return. Your husband brings his tattooed fingers in front of your face and says, "Suck.” He orders, and he doesn't have to ask twice.

You grab ahold of his hand and insert his three large fingers into your mouth, twirling your tongue on the tip and sucking like you would if you were on your knees in front of him.

A rush of blood rushes to his cock as he watches you suck on his fingers. You pop his fingers out of your mouth.

He tugs on your clit one last time before rubbing your sensitive bud slowly. You choke out a moan.

Jungkook inserts one of his finger pumping it in and out of your gummy walls, sending you back into the mattress. “Fuck yes,” you cry. He inserts a second finger, pumping them out quickly, curling them inside you, and hitting your spot each time. You grip tightly onto the sheet as you start to feel dizzy. “I’m coming, shit shit shit,” you cry out. You try to push Jungkook off you as he slides his fingers in and out of you repeatedly, with his tongue flicking your clit sending you over the edge.

Your mouth hangs open as your body shakes uncontrollably. Your pussy clenches around Jungkook's fingers. A rush of fluid squirts out of you, leaving you shaking and gasping for air.

“pretty.” Jungkook chuckles under his breath, giving your pussy a small slap and making you whine from the overstimulation.

Jungkook stands up, watching you squeeze your legs together with your eyes closed and chest heaving. “You good, baby?” He leans over, kissing your face over and over again until you peek your eyes open, and you giggle nonstop.

“Fuck!” You giggle, making Jungkook raise an eyebrow. “So good,” you giggle, “yeah?” He smirks, leaning in to give you a kiss.

“Mhm.” You nod, kissing him back. “Let me return the favor.” You reach for his huge hard on, squeezing.

“Let me just fuck you.” He whispers into your mouth as you giggle in response.

“Okay.” You nod. Jungkook slowly stands up from the bed as you watch him push down his briefs, letting his cock spring free. He grabs ahold of the base, giving it a squeeze, and runs his thumb along his aching red slit before walking closer to you. You bite your lip in anticipation, and you feel yourself getting wetter by the second.

He spits down, letting his saliva drip down onto his cock before giving it two pumps, “legs up. ” He taps your thigh for you to do as he says.

You giggle, pushing your legs up, giving your husband an amazing view of your drenched spread out, dripping core.

“Fuck,” he says, aligning himself with your hole and slapping his cock on your pussy multiple times. "Shit, ah,” you moan, digging your nails into your thighs.

Jungkook watches as you clench your pussy over nothing, making his cock twitch. He runs his length over your slit before sliding into you. “Oh shit.” You gasp, biting your lip harshly.

Jungkook has always been too big for you, always stretching you out deliciously every time you had sex. Your pussy always took him so well.

"Shit, shit, shit,” you say, closing your eyes as you feel the burn of him sliding deeper into you. “You can take it, baby.” He hushes, pushing in deeper, and he rubs your clit with his thumb, trying to ease you. 

You can feel him all the way into your belly as he finally is all the way in you. “You take me so well, fuck, baby.” Jungkook groans as you clench non-stop around him.

"Move, fuck, ah,” you cry. You didn’t have to ask twice, as he started sliding out of your hole before slamming back in. Your nails dig into your thighs, leaving marks as he continues to slide in and out of you repeatedly. 

Your eyes roll to the back of your head as he slams roughly into you. His hands push your legs down to your chest as he fucks into you, his cock spreading your walls and his tip hitting your g-spot with each thrust.

Jungkook watches his cock disappear into your messy wet cunt; he watches how you spasm every time he pounds into you; your pussy squirts every time he pulls out; but he doesn’t stop; he continues to slam back in.

Tears stream down your face from the immense pleasure in your core as you reach between your legs, rubbing your clit furiously. “Such a good fucking girl, taking my cock so well.” Jungkook says between gritted teeth, as you only reply with a moan.

“Look at you squirting all over my cock.” He pulls out, spurs of liquid come rushing out of you, and your legs shake as your pussy convulses from each spurt. “Ahh fuck.” You moan as Jungkook rubs your pussy; your hands reach for his, trying to push him away, but failing as you orgasm with a long, loud moan.

“Good girl.” He groans.

“I can't... fuck,” you choke out, trying to catch your breath. "Yes, you can." Jungkook flips you over to your stomach. “Ass up.” He demands giving your ass a spank. 

You bring your ass up in the air, leaving your upper body laying on the bed totally spent. “Fuck pussy, so messy." Jungkook runs his cock through your pussy before sliding back in.

"Shit, this angle fucks me up,” he groans, getting ahold of your waist and squeezing roughly, probably leaving marks, as he slams into you. You dig your head into the mattress, biting onto the sheets, silencing your screams. The wet sound of him pounding into you and your screams are the only things being heard in the room.

“You love being fucked like this, huh?” He moans, pounding into you from behind. You don’t reply. 

He pulls out and pulls your hair up. “Answer me. You love being fucked like this, huh?” He whispers into your ear, your back arched against him.

“Yes.” You cry, and tears stream down your face. “Yes what? Baby.” He chuckles from your disheveled state, “I love being fucked like this.” You stutter over your words; the only thing your brain can comprehend is that you wanted to come again for the third time.

And with that, he lets you go. As you fall back down onto the bed, Jungkook spreads your ass cheeks, watching your pussy and asshole clench over nothing. “Spread open.” He orders you.

Jungkook watches how you do as he says and spread yourself open for him. He takes the base of his cock and aligns himself with your other hole. He rubs over some of your arousal to your asshole, inserting the tip of his cock before pushing the rest of his length inside you, “Fuckk.” You moan loudly, "Relax, baby.” He groans loudly at how tight it is.

This is not the first time Jungkook has fucked your ass, but the stretch of his cock always feels like the first time. He stays for a few moments, still waiting for you to adjust. "Go," you whimper. A green light for him to thrust.

He spreads you open more, watching his cock slip out of your hole before thrusting back in slowly. You moan under him, and you reach under him, rubbing your clit softly as tears run down your cheeks.

“Such a good fucking girl.” Jungkook moans, squeezing your ass and restraining himself from pounding into you at that very moment.

You insert two of your fingers into your pussy, sliding them in and out as Jungkook slides his cock into your ass. "Faster, please,” you whine, fucking your fingers into you as Jungkook speeds up his movements.

Your legs shake barely holding up as he pounds into roughly moaning loudly each time you clench, “You fucking like that?” He chokes out each slam he thrusts into you. “Keep taking it, baby.” His balls slam into your pussy, which each push.

“Fuck so good.” He moans, not stopping his movements. Both of you are sweating as you bite down on the gray sheets, feeling your pussy spasms with liquid with each thrust. “I’m coming.” You shriek,

“Go ahead, baby.” Jungkook's eyes roll to the back of his head, watching you shake underneath him. His body locks up, and black and white spots fill his vision as his dick twitches in you before spilling his seed into you with a loud groan.

“Oh fuck.” Jungkook pants as he slides out of your ass, his come oozing out of you. You fall onto the bed, your legs shaking uncontrollably as you whimper softly from the outstanding orgasm you just went through.

"Fuck, are you okay, baby?” Jungkook makes his way to you, flipping you over to be able to see your face. You whimper softly with your hands covering your face. "Shit, baby, did I hurt you?” He panics, shooting straight up and taking your hands off your face.

He sees the tears streaming down your face, and that sends a blow to his heart. "Baby, where does it hurt?” He scans your body and tries to soothe your shaking legs, rubbing his palms up and down your thighs.

“I’m okay.” You whimper between cries. 

“Then why are you crying, my love?” He pulls you up into a sitting position before kissing your tear-stained cheeks. "felt so good.” You cry. A wave of relief hits Jungkook. "Baby," he chuckles, giving you kisses all over your face.

“I won’t be able to walk tomorrow.” You cry as he laughs softly while standing up, finding his briefs on the ground before stepping into them. He goes into your guys' shared closet looking for a pair of underwear for you and one of his shirts.

"Here, baby, let me help you.” He makes his way to you; he sits beside you as he helps you put on your panties and his shirt.

“Do you need anything?” Jungkook asks, putting your hair behind your ear. “No, I'm super tired; I want to cuddle.” You say snuggling under the covers with a big smile on your face, and Jungkook follows in beside you.

…

The next morning, Jungkook called in for an emergency meeting as he was waiting for the boys to come in. Taehyung arrives first with a guilty expression on his face, and before Jungkook could ask what’s up, Hoseok and Namjoon come striding in. And not long after all the boys started striding in.

“So..” Jungkook starts, “I fucked up.” And with that, he drops a thousand on the table in front of the boys. Nobody moves, and nobody says anything until,

"Oh, thank God, and I thought it was going to be just me." Taehyung drops a wad of cash, with the rest of the boys following along, dropping cash on the table.

“Are you fucking serious!?” Namjoon stares at his friends with his jaw wide open. “Am I the only one who took this seriously?” Namjoon shook his head at his friends.

“Honestly, I don't regret it at all.” Jungkook shrugs.

[beatrixstonehill2]

"I've officially been a Hooters girl for one year! Just look at how fucking big my boss has made my tits. I was a C-Cup when I got hired. Before I even got my uniform they were shoving these supplements in my face. I kind of love it but I know if I ever want a real job someday I'll have to chop these embarrassing things off. It's all my coworkers and I talk about, finally getting out of the job and getting a reduction or having these monster tits we were forced to grow chopped off completely. It sucks, cuz I liked my boobs and thought they were so pretty. But now look at these grotesque melons I'm forced to walk around with all day. Every guy assumes I'm some free-use breeding cow. I've given up trying to fight them off. My commutes are now just one giant hardcore porno shoot. Which is to say nothing about how many customers I have to tit fuck and suck off every shift. Men are so greedy.....

The second guys see these huge lactating tits of mine they go nuts. They could be walking arm-in-arm with their pregnant girlfriend and still run over grope my tits and fuck me. The girlfriends just watch and film it anyway, sometimes they even masturbate, watching their bfs fuck me and smack me around. It's pathetic how used to being a cum dumpster I've become. I don't even care or notice when cum is pouring down my legs anymore. I actually leave a pool of cum wherever I sit. I can't believe what this job has turned me into, all because my dad talked me into working here, calling it a great opportunity.

Well, I hope they like taking care of all the grandkids I'll be forced to push out now. Since we're all in various stages of pregnancy, as well (Two months along with batch two!). I always dreamt of my first pregnancy being with my husband, us cherishing our kids. Not me getting fucked against the door of a subway car as a literal crowd of men surround me, all taking turns fucking me. Giving birth not in a nice hospital with my husband at my side, but instead at work as my boss gives me tequila shots for the pain, as customers face fuck me while I'm pushing out triplets. I thought men were supposed to be more gentle with pregnant girls? I swear once my belly gets really big and round they go ballistic. Way more guys start hitting me, roughing me up just for fun as they fuck me in bigger groups. My boss actually likes it when I come into work with bruises on my boobs and belly or a black eye, says it gets the customers more aroused.

Now after all this sex and breeding and my breasts getting so big I feel like my spine is gonna snap any day, I can't focus on school at all. My one way out of this job and it's like if I go ten minutes without getting fucked or playing with my tits and pussy I get agitated and restless. Like I'm addicted to getting fucked, even if 90% of it is not consensual. I'm literally fantasizing about getting my clothes ripped off and fucked in public, humiliated and treated like garbage as I write this. What the hell am I becoming? I'm doomed to drop out and keep working here. How big are my tits gonna be in a year? My brain can't take this, it's like my mind is breaking and soon I'll be nothing but a cock-addicted pregnant bimbo with a 40 IQ and breasts that weight over 100lbs a piece. The worst part is, I keep thinking to myself..... is that such a bad thing?"

[catboygretzky]

Exyblr Dashboard Simulator based on what I personally see on sportsblr:

2/?

📜 realexyblog

haiku because exy is back:

GOD, why are my teams

SO fucking bad at exy?

FUCK this FUCKING sport.

#and i watch sports for why? entertainment? no way

243 notes

♛ queen-of-exy

I WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG! KEVIN DAY IS A QUEEN SHES LITERALLY A QUEEN ITS ON HER FACE

💃fox-me-up follow

queen on the court, pillow princess on the mattress amiright

♛ queen-of-exy

ive never felt more understood, I am kissing you w tongue

#marry me tumblr user fox me up

411 notes

🌞 blonde-jeremy-knox

i'm just gonna say it. i know we're all thinking it. jeremy knox eats ass like it's his JOB.

👁 jean-mor-uhoh

babe literally no one was thinking that but i'm proud of you for speaking your truth

#we're friends but what cost. when all u talk about is jeremy knox eating ass.

31 notes

🧚 goalie-stan

#dan wilds #psu

205 notes

🌄 softkevinday follow

He lived. He served cunt. He died. He was Resurrected. Served more cunt.

#kevin day

605 notes

👸🏻 kevindazed follow

absolutely busted a fucking nut watching kevin day switch hands like that oh my god my nut was so forceful it created a new dimension.

🏳️‍🌈 gay4stickball follow

hey can i join you in that dimension

👸🏻 kevindazed follow

Sure, just bring some snacks or something

🏳️‍🌈 gay4stickball follow

hell yeah!!!!!!

#thanks youre the best do you like doritos?

197 notes

😎 foxyknoxy

the best exy team in the nation is a LIBERAL ARTS COLLEGE how many of those students even go to the games when your school is full of artists and theater kids. your student section must be wACK

😎 foxyknoxy

*sorry, 2nd best exy team in the nation

#fuck you theater kids!!!!!!!! can't even appreciate a good sport !!!!! anyway go trojans

99 notes

🙈 ittybittyminny follow

Andrew Minyard should get a little bite and chew. As a reward. Maybe a small gnaw. nomnomnom Maaaaaybe as a treat he can rip a throat out, but only if he's really really good

#only if he's REALLY GOOD and maybe tests negative for rabies but whatever you can't win em all

126 notes

🏳️‍🌈 gay4stickball follow

favourite exy rarepair????

☀️ usctrojanny

ACTUALLY !!!!! was thinking about this earlier and while ive never seen anyone talk about it.......aaron minyard and neil josten would be 👀 kinda cute???

🏳️‍🌈 gay4stickball follow

omg wait why have I never thought about guys before!!!!!!!! noooo why did you say this, i can totally see it!!!!!! Neil would probably have to lean down to kiss aaron 🥺 do u think he has ever had to lean down to kiss someone 😭

☀️ usctrojanny

And obviously, u know me, im always here for a striker/backliner matchup

🏳️‍🌈 gay4stickball follow

this is all i'm going to think about for the rest of my life now, thanks, fuck you

139 notes

👅 nastyneiljosten

I want to put neil josten in a jar and shake the jar so violently he turns into sludge and then pour a drop of that sludge on to a petri dish so I can see what kind of bacteria he produces.

🦩 exyonmymind follow

what happens to the rest of the sludge?

👅 nastyneiljosten

*sluuuuuuurp* *swallowing sounds* *sluuuurp* *gargle gargle* *more swallowing sounds* yummy yummy in my tummy

487 notes

🐋 sexyexy

headcannon that neil josten is so feral bc andrew bit him and gave him rabies so now he's a literal rabid dog

👢exyinaphonebooth follow

You can't make headcannons about real people don't be freaks

🐋 sexyexy

exy players aren't real they're my little dolls that I can put into any situations I want and you can't stop me

#thanks anyway did u know andrew minyard gave neil josten rabies

143 notes

🧸 mreow-bearcats-mreow

ARE THOSE REFS FUCKING BLIND ????????!

#exy lb

👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 talk-exy-to-me

Kiss cams are only acceptable during sporting events if they zoom in on two players

🗣️ jeremyknoxes follow

ok but what if they're wearing a face mask

👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 talk-exy-to-me

smash your cages together obviously, don't be a pussy #love wins

🗣️ jeremyknoxes follow

fair enough

890 notes

🌸 softexy

Andrew and Aaron Minyard

#exy #andrew minyard #aaron minyard #palmetto foxes #psu #web weave #poetry

2,040 notes

[anonymousewrites]

Nature of the Human Soul (Book 1) Chapter Three

Platonic! Hazbin Hotel x Teen! Reader

Father Figure! Alastor x Teen! Reader

Chapter Three: Controlling Television

Summary: The Hotel learns about the extermination coming early, and (Y/N) meets someone new.

            “Okay, so the extermination is coming in six months instead of a year,” said Charlie, pacing. “No big deal. Just a little setback. Nothing we can’t handle. Just angels cutting our timetable in half. But who needs a whole year to save souls?” She laughed nervously, the breakdown beginning. “Am I right? And next time, when they cut the time in half again and again, we’ll just handle it, right?”

            Vaggie caught Charlie by the shoulders. “Yes. We will.” She attempted to steady her girlfriend.

            “Oh, please, ya had less of a chance when you started all this salvation bullshit,” said Angel. “And now….Ain’t no silver lining this time toots.”

            “Sure there is,” said Charlie. “We just have to look a little harder for it.”

            “Seems pretty bleak to me,” said (Y/N). “I don’t know much about it, but it feels like the angels get to do whatever they want and fuck us over.”

            Angel nodded, and Charlie deflated. “The rest of Hell agrees with them. They’re going nuts.” Angel grimaced as he read through reactions on his phone. “People are freaking out about the news.” He held up his phone. “Look at what’s happening in the Doomsday District.”

            The land was on fire, and Charlie frowned as a notification popped up.

            “Er, what is a ‘donkey show?’ ” she asked.

            “Ah! Heh, nothing!” said Angel, snatching his phone back. “My boss, Val, is just freaked out about the news, too. Like I said, everyone’s losing their shit.”

            “Yeah, that’s true. Sinners are desperate,” said Vaggie. “Maybe desperate enough to try anything to escape the next extermination?” She smiled at Charlie.

            “This is the perfect time to recruit more sinners for the hotel!” said Charlie excitedly.

            “People will do everything except for try to change themselves,” said (Y/N), dubious of that idea. “If exterminations have been going on for…forever, I don’t really know if this will change anything yet. You’d have to be really convincing.”

            “Well, yeah, but that’s why I have to go out and gather people myself!” said Charlie. “It’s not people are going to show up on our doorstep.”

            Boom!

            The wall exploded (again).

            “Show yourself, Alastor!” cried a familiarly snakelike and dramatic voice. It was Sir Pentious from the previous incident, back to get his ass beat again (because what else was going to happen to him? Alastor was way more powerful than him). “Come and face—”

            “Will you shut up?!” snapped (Y/N), leaning their head out the hole. “We’re trying to handle some problems in here!”

            Pentious deflated in disappointment as the teenager glared at him, completed unintimidated. “I’m not here for you! I’m here for Alastor!”

            Hearing the commotion and always loving some entertainment, Alastor popped out of the shadows with a mug that said “Hello, Deer.” “Who are you?” he asked.

            “Who am I?! Who am I!?” cried Pentious. “I am the great Sir Pentious! Inventor, architect of destruction, villain extraordinaire!”

            “Ooh, he’s a bad boy,” said Niffty, grinning.

            “Huh, well, if all that’s true, you’d think I’d have heard of you,” said Alastor, grinning.

            “I attacked you literally last week,” said Pentious.

            Alastor tilted his head, clearly not remembering a thing.

            “We’ve done battle like twenty times!” said Pentious.

            “Well, you must have been really bad at this,” said Alastor.

            “Silence! Now cower!” cried Pentious. “For when I’ve slain you, the almighty Vees will finally acknowledge me as their equal!”

            (Y/N) looked at Vaggie. “Who are the Vees?”

            “Velvette, Valentino, and Vox—three of the worst Overlords. Velvette deals in fashion and social media, Valentino runs Hell’s biggest porn studio, and Vox controls almost all technology,” said Vaggie. She crossed her arms. “Don’t get involved with them. They’re manipulative pieces of shit.”

            “Definitely am not planning it,” said (Y/N). They didn’t want to get put under anyone’s thumb after their life.

            “They’re nobody important,” said Alastor.

l

            “You know, Angel isn’t the only one spending time at that ratty hotel with the devil’s princessa,” said Valentino.

            “Oh, who else is there? Someone who owes you money?” asked Vox.

            Valentino chuckled. “Someone who owes us much more than money. The Radio Demon is there.”

            Vox’s screen sparked, and his nails dug into the desk. “What did you say?”

            “You heard me,” said Valentino.

            “Alastor came back, and he is with Lucifer’s daughter, and that wasn’t the first fucking thing you told me?!” snapped Vox.

            “Hey, killing Alastor is your kink,” said Valentino, waving a hand.

            Vox glared at the screens in the room, and one switched onto a recording on the hotel so he could glare at the gathering outside. Alastor, who kept glitching in the recording, was grinning and standing beside Lucifer’s daughter, her girlfriend, Angel, and a young demon with a rose motif.

l

            “Oh, please, stop!” cried Pentious as his ship was once again torn apart by shadows while Alastor cackled in amusement.

            “Um, Alastor? I think he’s had enough,” said Charlie.

            “I don’t know, he came here asking for it,” said (Y/N), smiling brightly.

            “Oh, yeah, he’s got a few more hits in ‘im,” snickered Angel.

            Pentious fell out of his ship and landed on the ground.

            “Thanks for another forgettable experience,” said Alastor with a wide grin.

            “Thank…you…” groaned Pentious. “For letting your guard down!” His tail shot out, tore off a piece of Alastor’s coat, and retreated. Pentious laughed.

            A large shadow loomed over him.

            “Oh, shit.”

            Green magic exploded from Alastor, and Pentious was sent flying out of the hotel’s airspace.

            “Well, it looks as though I need a visit to the tailor,” said Alastor, turning away from the flying snake without a care. “Best of luck, chums!”

            “Wait, you’re leaving?” said Vaggie. “Alastor, we need your help. We need you to do your job.”

            “We need a wall,” said Angel.

            “Of course! Can’t let my new project fall into disrepair already! What would the papers say?” Alastor snapped his fingers, and shadow workers, like from the advertisement, popped up to help rebuild the wall. Satisfied, Alastor turned and walked away.

            Angel grinned and approached the shadows. “Hey, sweet cheeks. What you doin’ later?”

            “I’m out,” said (Y/N), turning away before they had to see Angel flirt more.

            “Can you at least help us?” asked Vaggie, gesturing to the destroyed wall.

            “…Do I look like I have experience building walls?” said (Y/N), frowning.

            “You can buy us a new painting. Charlie likes having decorations, and one got destroyed by Sir Pentious,” said Vaggie.

            (Y/N) considered. “Are you giving me money?”

            “Yes,” said Vaggie.

            “Ok, sure,” said (Y/N), shrugging.

            “Right,” said Vaggie, pulling out cash. “And here, I’ll show you where to go.”

            She pulled out her phone to show a map of the Pride ring. The last thing they needed was (Y/N) getting lost and getting into trouble. Actually, Charlie would probably be against sending (Y/N) out for an errand, but Vaggie had seen they were going a bit stir crazy from being at the hotel all the time, so the least she could do was give (Y/N) a short errand to run to one of the more civilized/reputable areas of Pride. And if there was any trouble, Vaggie would go into town and intercede with her spear.

l

            (Y/N) hadn’t expected running an errand in Hell to go so smoothly. After every other person at the hotel complained or ran into some trouble (Angel: old customers, Vaggie and Charlie: haters of the hotel, Husk: people in general), (Y/N) had expected to have to stay on their toes. Instead, they had gone into the shop Vaggie asked them to, purchased a non-inappropriate painting, and headed out with enough change to buy themself something.

            (Y/N) had seen a café on the way into town, and now the sweets were calling their name as they headed back. Seeing as they never got to treat themself in life, why not do so in death?

            (Ironically, so far their death had been better and more filled with friendship than their life had been.)

            (Y/N) walked through the streets, pausing only to make sure they had the right directions. Sure, they’d been fine so far, but they weren’t going to test their luck by going anywhere they weren’t supposed to.

            (Y/N) passed by a group of demons staring at television screens in a store window, entranced. Curious, (Y/N) paused to glance at the screens.

            They were displaying an advertisement for merchandise from the very store they were standing in. People were in a trance watching, and they all immediately rushed inside to purchase what they’d seen advertised.

            (Y/N) frowned. Looking at the screens gave them a headache, so (Y/N) turned to walk away. They had a bad feeling about the store and technology—so missing from the hotel—and they weren’t going to ignore that feeling.

            No sooner had (Y/N) decided to ignore the screens that one buzzed to life, and sparks jumped from the screen. (Y/N) froze as the sparks formed the body of a man with a TV for a head in front of them on the sidewalk, effectively blocking their path.

            Well, shit, I don’t think I’ve successfully avoided trouble, thought (Y/N). It didn’t take a genius to realize this was Vox, who Vaggie had warned them about.

            “No interest in any technology?” said Vox with a wide, electric grin.

            “Nope.” (Y/N) kept their answer short and curt, trying to get out of the conversation.

            “You’re one of the sinners staying at the princess’s hotel,” said Vox, eyes narrowing calculatingly. His smile widened. “I don’t believe you have a phone. Are you sure you don’t need one?” He held out his hand, and a phone was held in it. “Think of it as a welcome gift to Hell.”

            “I’m not interested,” said (Y/N), stepping around Vox to attempt an escape from the encounter.

            Vox turned immediately, still smiling widely. Apparently, it wasn’t going to be that easy to avoid him. “I’m just trying to support the hotel. Like the Radio Demon.” His smile glitched slightly.

            Oh. So that’s what this was. Vox was just trying to get in Alastor’s hair and annoy him.

            “Yeah, well, we’re okay,” said (Y/N), taking a step away.

            “Are you sure?” One of Vox’s eyes pulsed with energy, and (Y/N)’s headache grew stronger.

            “Yes,” said (Y/N) firmly.

            “I think that you may want to reconsider,” said Vox, eye still swirling.

            “I think I’m fine,” said (Y/N). “So just leave me alone.” They narrowed their eyes.

            Vox’s screen sparked, and his eyes narrowed.

            Danger, danger!

            Sparks flew at (Y/N).

            Bam!

            A bramble of vines and thorns erupted from the ground and blocked the sparks. (Y/N)’s eyes widened, and Vox sparked.

            “What the—”

            “My, my, are you bothering one of my guests?”

            A shadow loomed over Vox and (Y/N). Vox flinched and looked to see Alastor with a wide, threatening smile.

            “Really, Vox, what terrible manners,” said Alastor.

            “Radio Demon,” snapped Vox.

            “Yes, precisely,” said Alastor. “So run along and leave my guests alone. Really, how unbecoming.” His grin sharpened. “Unless, of course, if you’d like to have another little competition.”

            Vox glared, and his screen glitched. However, he wasn’t interested in going toe-to-toe with Alastor again after getting his entire network shut down for a few hours, so with a final angry glare, he dissolved into electricity and disappeared into the TVs he came from.

            “Well, what a terrible way to end a day out,” tsked Alastor.

            “Yeah,” said (Y/N), making a face.

            Alastor looked at the briar sticking up from the ground. “And what might this be?”

            (Y/N) stared at it. “It just kind of…appeared.”

            Alastor raised an eyebrow. “When Vox threatened you?”

            “Uh, yeah,” said (Y/N), touching the vine curiously. It flinched and disappeared back into the ground. “Huh.”

            Alastor grinned. “How interesting.”

            “What do you mean?” said (Y/N), cocking their head.

            “That, my dear, is magic,” said Alastor. His grin had widened in amusement. “It seems you’re going to be an entertaining guest.”

            “Oh, yay,” said (Y/N) sarcastically. “That’s exactly what I’m hoping to be.”

            Alastor laughed and waved a hand. “Have no fear, have no fear. Why, the entertainment I’m looking for is you struggling with that magic.”

            “Thanks,” said (Y/N), still deadpan. “I’ll make sure to practice in front of you so you can laugh.

            Alastor grinned. “Why, thank you, dear! Perhaps I’ll even give you a few tips!”

            (Y/N) looked at him, rolled their eyes, and shrugged. “Have fun.”

            “Oh, I always do,” chirped Alastor. “Now, come, let’s return to the hotel. No point getting into more trouble, even if you’ve discovered magic.” He looked at them. “And I do intend to give you a few tips.”

            “Wait, really?” said (Y/N), blinking in surprise.

            “Of course. I can’t have my guests being helpless,” said Alastor, twirling his staff.

            (Y/N) perked up. “Thanks, Alastor!”

            He glanced at them, surprised at the boisterous honesty. He decided not to respond, and the pair walked back towards Hazbin Hotel in silence.

            That was fine with (Y/N). They were contemplating finally having some power of their own for their own life.

l

            “Oh, good, you made it back alright!” said Charlie. She smiled at (Y/N). “Vaggie told me she sent you out, and I was worried!”

            “I didn’t mind going out. I’m going stir crazy here,” said (Y/N).

            “And they have proven themself capable of keeping themself safe,” said Alastor with a grin.

            Vaggie frowned. “Wait, did something happen?”

            (Y/N) coughed. “You know how you told me to avoid the Vees?”

            “Yeah?” said Vaggie, narrowing her eyes.

            “Vox decided to pop out of a TV in front of me,” said (Y/N).

            “What?!” cried Vaggie.

            “Relax, they were fine,” said Alastor. He twirled his staff. “I interceded before anything could happen to them, and Vox’s sparks couldn’t even hurt them.” His grin widened. “They summoned magic of their own.”

            “You did?” said Charlie excitedly.

            (Y/N) nodded. “Apparently, yeah.”

            “That’s awesome!” said Charlie encouragingly.

            “Yes, it’s quite unusual,” said Alastor. “And I intend to teach them.”

            Everyone froze and stared at Alastor.

            “You what?” repeated Charlie, an awkward smile on her face.

            “I will be teaching (Y/N) to use their magic. We can’t have them being helpless, now, can we?” Alastor still wore his signature grin, as mischievous as ever.

            Oh shit, thought everyone. If there was one thing they knew, it was Alastor taking a liking to the teenager couldn’t be a good thing. It could only spell trouble and mischief.

            And, unfortunately for them, (Y/N) wore an excited grin that promised all that trouble and more.

Taglist:

@kyalov

@pandaquick

@boredwithlifeatthispoint

@jaytheaceenby

@paastaboi

@bettybabys

@gxdoesstuff

@grippleback-galaxy

@just-here-reading

@dmitrytherat

@a-small-tyrant

@marxo5

@rory-cakes

@andsoigotabutterfly

@theblueslytherin

@romyoia

@ray-rook

[whumpninja]

*crashing in through the whump community’s skylight*

oh hey, what’s up? I’m Jack, I’ve been lurking in the shadows of the community for way too long and I’m now revealing my presence!

Name: it’s Jack, didn’t you just see it up there? I will also accept Jacques, Jack-Jack, Jackrabbit, Jackalope, Jack Sparrow, Jack Daniels or J-Money

Age: old enough to drink, not old enough to say “back in the good old days…” while I stare wistfully out the window (I could do that, but I’d just be reminiscing about when everyone wore their jeans around their knees)

Pronouns: he/him, they/them, hey/you, call me whatever you want as long as you don’t call me late for- nope, I’m not finishing that joke

About Me: why are you asking? who do you work for? WHO SENT YOU?! Just kidding. Here are some things I like doing- writing, thinking about whump, thinking about writing whump. Here are some things I like doing but am bad at- cooking things, climbing things without falling off of them, running without feeling like I’m going to die. Here are some things I don’t like doing- studying, going to the gym, watching romantic comedies, eating canned vegetables, getting my socks wet.

About Whump: love it. Love, love, love it. Whump is great. I like almost all flavors (but hold the nuts and butts and sexy bits.) My particular favorites- defiant whumpee, whump with magic/fantasy elements in it, whumpers who just suck, uh…whumpees in gladiator fights?? But…cage matches. Not bare-chested men in loincloths stabbing each other.

Here are some blogs about whump I really like: @smellofsnoww @weirdstrangeandawful @whumperofworlds @whumperfultime @redwingedwhump @painsandconfusion @newbornwhumperfly @pigeonwhumps @caspia-writes @spookyboywhump @oddsconvert and literally so many more, I have been lurking here for *a while* also I will probably make a blubbery post about why I like these blogs the next time I have a drink

About WIPs: I have a grand total of one. It currently exists as a complicated red-string-board of a Google Doc with way too many characters and at least three plotlines. It’ll probably still have too many characters and plotlines when I post it. It’s mainly about vampires and humans whumping each other into absolute oblivion, so if that��s your speed, stay tuned, sports fans.

Anyway, it’s me, finally coming out of the shadows to join the whump community in their mission to make fictional characters suffer! I have the power of God and whump on my side- AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH-

MASTERLISTS!

Here’s the masterlist for my vampire whump series The Angel of Death!

Here’s the masterlist for my specialized ask game series Ask Me About…!

[redwinterroses]

I keep seeing posts and comments about how "it's so hard to leave comments on a fic" because either readers don't know what to say, or it's just too much emotional/mental work to come up with something.

So! Here's a quick cheat sheet. Feel free to copy+paste these to make commenting and supporting/encouraging fic authors easy and painless! (also, consider: you can leave as a comment any of the keysmashing you'd do in tumblr tags. Go nuts.)

Most of these can also be used on videos, art, and anywhere else you might leave feedback on a creative project.

Tier 1: Easy

<3

Love it!

thanks for the chapter

!!!!!

great chapter!

OH MY GOSH

oooooooh...

O.O

:D

Tier 2: Simple

I loved this chapter! Thanks for the update

I am up past my bedtime reading this.

I'm reading this at work/on the train/in class/at a party and I'm loving it

So good! Can't wait for the next chapter!

Was so excited to get the notification for this!

I love your writing

I enjoy/enjoyed this fic so much.

I'm sending this to a friend!

Biting this. Eating it. Devouring, even.

Awwww! Them.

Tier 3: Requires Input

I loved when [character] [did thing]

I loved the part when [thing happened]

[literally just copy+pasting a line you like and adding !!!!!!!!! to it]

My favorite part was [the part with the thing]

I love how you write [descriptions/dialog/specific person/etc]

Oh no, [character name]!!

Tier 4: Prompts

Point out a line you liked and what it made you think/how it made you react

Ask a question like, "Is Hardened Detective Man's mother still alive in this AU?" or "Does Brave Space Princess know about the [macguffin mentioned in chapter 2]?" or "Who's your favorite character to write in this fic?"

ask a rhetorical question of the characters, like: "Lovable High School Character! Do you have any idea what you're doing???" or "Dinosaur Researcher, are you aware there's a whole series of movies about why this is a bad idea?" or "Dark Vigilante Father Figure, do you even see what your adoptive acrobat son is trying to tell you?"

Address a statement to the characters (similar to above)

Tell the author how you found their fic

Tell them you're subscribed and you get excited whenever they upload

Comment that you can't wait to see how [story element] works out.

Commenting is the best way you can encourage a fic writer and inspire new content. And comments aren't book reviews (or at least, they don't have to be. We do love those though lol) -- they don't have to be long and complex. Keysmashes and emojis and one-sentence reactions are MORE than awesome!

If you don't have the energy or time to comment (and remember, even a !!!!!!!! is a great comment), at LEAST leave a kudos and consider saving a link to the fic to come back and comment later.

Now go forth! Support writers! Be a part of a healthy fandom ecosystem!

[razorblade180]

Streamer AU 5

Streamer au 4 <-

The “Please wait” screen with falling snowflakes faded away to display Weiss in a light blue hoodie looking mighty cozy in her chair as she sipped coffee.

Weiss:Sup chat. It’s been awhile. Slaying grimm is hard sometimes.

Red Reaper: “Did your partner die?”

Weiss:Ruby, shut up and get in the call.

“Nah I’m eating toast.”

Weiss:Be glad you’re modded. Alright chat, I’m pretty low energy but I missed you all so we’re going to play a chill game and bd a cozy streamer tod-

Yang:Woop woop woop woop woop! Sup lovelies!

Weiss:I wish you were the one eating toast.

Yang:You gave us all an open invite! I even brought my chat.

Weiss:Your chat didn’t enter in like an alarm. What do you want me to play?

Yang:Resident E-

Weiss:Try again

Yang:….Is your personal jrpg guide awake?

Weiss:I don’t wanna bother him this early. Chat, suggestions?

It’s immediately flooded with “Genshin Impact”

Blake:Do it!!! Join me!

Weiss:Please, any other sane suggestion. Don’t force me into that madness.

Knightly Crescent: I’ll help you start Kingdom Hearts. Give me like 15 minutes.

Weiss:*silently happy*

Cardinal Pride: “Why should ever need your-”

Timed Out

Weiss: 🎶Thank you mods🎶

xxxxxx

Roughly 20 minutes of cozy chatting passes by before Weiss gets up to answer the door. Chat doesn’t need to know Jaune actually has a key. Things will start adding up.

Weiss:Camera on or off.

Jaune:I don’t mind.

Weiss:Kay.

She guides him to an empty chair for the messy haired boy to sit and get comfortable while she grabs snacks.

Jaune:H-Hello.

RBY: Jaune!!!!!

Coco Bean: “Heeeey Pretty boy”

Red Velvet: “I like your hoodie”

CB: Is this the boyfriend~

Jaune: I am a friend!

Weiss:Alright I’m b- Coco! Relax!

Jaune:Did I miss anything on the way here.

Blake:Weiss almost said a slur.

Weiss:Don’t lie to him!!!

Jaune:Why does this slightly feel true? What happened in 20 minutes?

xxxxx

Blake: Draw four.

Weiss:You little- ooooo *squints* oooo this is supposed to be a cozy stream.

Blake:What do you want say huh? Sounds pretty…intense. First semester intense.

Weiss:I would never!

Yang:Never! Really?

Chat: “First semester?”

Weiss:I was just going to call you a hoe!

Blake:Draw another four.

xxxxx

Jaune:I’m surprised you clipped this?

Ruby:It’s easier than than explaining what happened.

Weiss:Chat, you know the rules. No backseating, spoilers, or unwanted foreshadowing. I literally have a copilot.

Burdened Chef: “Is she paying you for this?”

Jaune:She can’t afford me.

The Burden: “Can’t even cook her own snacks.”

Weiss:Why is your team picking on me!? This is a welcome back stream!

The Burden gifted 10 subs

Weiss:Thank you Nora.

Nuts and Bolts gifted 30 subs.

“Salutations! Here’s to a safe return!😊”

Weiss:P- Penny you can’t just surprise a person like that. Thank you so much.

CB: “Oh are we doing a gifted war!? Let’s get crazy.”

Weiss:Coco-

50 tiers 2 subs

RBY: Yooooo

Weiss: *covers mouth* Guys, no! I’ll feel bad. That’s too much!

Multiple people start gifting subs and Weiss quickly begins hiding her face as the sound of her alerts constantly going off makes her emotional.

Yang:Awww the novice gamer girl is all red!

Ruby:It’s not a stream until Weiss is flustered.

Blake:And she’s still on the title screen.

Jaune:*smiles* You okay?

Weiss:This is going to be a long day.

[sexiestpodcastcharacter]

Sexiest Podcast Character — Unscripted Bracket — Finals

Propaganda

Glenn Close (Dungeons & Daddies):

#Propaganda for Glenn Close: one of the other PCs mentions multiple times how hot he is #Actually several characters point it out but especially Henry #Also the only person in a podcast that has to put a disclaimer about not being a BDSM podcast to have had sex during the course of the show

Young hot rocker dilf

Loyal to his dead wife <3

Does in fact smoke weed

BARD!! HES A BARD. HE WAS LEAD GUITAR IN HIS BAND (that he was kicked out of)

His band was a Christmas cover band btw.

Literally the fandom had hot Glenn summer which consisted of drawing him being incredibly hot and sexy

Anti government (ofc)

Kind of cringefail (Disney adult) (was on dilfs of disneyland)

Young and sexy not your style? Then how about HIM AFTER YEARS LOCKED IN A TIME PRISON WITH A DAMN HANNIBAL MASK ??

Lost an eye and wears a fucking eyepatch

One incredibly buff arm

Has a pet rat named after his son <3

Immeasurable amounts of trauma in this man- becomes progressively more unhinged

OH OLD HUMAN BARD ISNT CUTTING IT? FINE

HE BECOMES A FUCKING DEMON

A COOL HOT ONE-EYED DEMON WHO WANTS TO KILL HIS DAD (also sexy)

HE CANONICALLY ENDS CHRISTIAN HELL VIA CHRISTMAS

IS ALSO WAY OVERLEVELED

Becomes a demon hunter for the rest of his existence

Also nonwhite !!! We are done with cringefail whiteboys !!!!!!!!!

I can’t put into words ok just know he is the best plz love him.

Okay but Glenn made a minivan cum by talking to her so

HE HAS A BOOK THAT HE MARKS X’S AND CHECKS FOR EVERY DAY TO SEE IF THAT DAY WAS A SUCCESS OR NOT. TO SEE IF HE DID GOOD THAT DAY. ITS ALMOST ENTIRELY X’S. HE WAS CUCKED OUT OF A SON. AND A DEAD WIFE. HE DIDN’T EVEN GET TO KILL HIS DAD IN REVENGE. There’s absolutely nothing going for him except his sex appeal in his life. Nobody he loved remembers him. He lost his eye. All he has is a pet rat and friends who admit they don’t really like him that much. He was kicked out of his own band. The band was named after him. He was kicked out of the Glenn Close trio. All he could do was deez nuts the big bad and be sexy. If nothing else, then pity him. Look in his eyes. Look at his heart and soul. He did not do the BDSM episode for this I’ll tell you what. Do this for my his sake. Do it for Nick Jr, who needs the prize money to pay for his rat snacks. Do it for his son. For Morgan. Ganbatte.

Glenn is the goofiest sexiest character there is and I will die on this hill! I will ride into battle for him! what Dndads created is truly unique and Glenn is a key part of that and for that he deserves to win. I said it before and I'll say it again - GLENN SWEEEEEP

Can we talk about how he says ‘baby’ casually? Like he just calls people that?? That’s HOT. THAT IS HOT!! He’s also bilingual and knows Japanese!!!! He’s a big dumb idiot with a lot of charisma!!!!!! HE WORKED AT A BDSM PLACE FOR TWO SEPARATE ONE SHOTS. HES SO SAD BUT PLAYS IT OFF LIKE HE’S CHILL ALL THE TIME!! HE DOESN’T THINK OF HIMSELF AS SINGLE BECAUSE HE DIDN’T DIVORCE HIS DEAD WIFE!!! He’s like.. the perfect guy. We need this win.

I’d also like to add the fact I made this. Which is the first 11 episodes edited to (almost) only have Glenn in them <3 which is a level of insanity I hope to reiterate. These took hours to make. I wouldn’t do that for anyone else.

vote Glenn I am asking with the biggest saddest eyes possible 🥺🥺🥺 he is so sexy it's pathetic and also so pathetic it's sexy, no I can not possibly adequately elaborate just trust me

Mod Note: While I will still take "bad dads are sexy" propaganda and "bad dads aren't sexy" anti-propaganda, I kindly request no more discussion on whether or not he was a bad father. This is a sexypoll, not a parentingpoll. If you see a post you strongly disagree with, you can just not reblog it.

Mod Note 2: This tournament is about fictional podcast characters. Please do not vote for the real actress Glenn Close.

Gable (Campaign: Skyjacks):

7ft tall silver-haired thembo of a fallen angel. was the literal sword of god until they killed him! reasons slightly unclear but probably sure to forbidden queer love! super caring for their friends. has one friend they have known for hundreds of years who they HATE but are bound to by the red string of fate. their sword is a part of them, they can sheathe it into a tattoo. they start out indistinct at the edges but as they have continued on through the campaign they have become more and more distinct. they became a flaming engine of justice to kill their friends shitheaded older brother who was following him. they have learned enough necromancy to allow other fallen angels to die, even though they typically cannot. they fly giant birds in to battle.

7ft tall beefcake wielding a sword as tall as they are. vengeful sweetheart

Imagine now: a fallen angel with beautiful gray hair and very big muscles. Now imagine them with a 9 ft sword. Now imagine them as a helmsperson of a pirate ship in a flowy deep-v pirate shirt. Now imagine they're dumb as a fucking rock. And finally, imagine that they killed god. Here, you have made Gable Skyjacks: sexiest podcast character of all time.

7ft tall nonbinary/genderfluid thembo fallen angel sky pirate who wields a buster sword. silvergrey hair with black/gold streaks as they regain feathers/memories of before their fall. back is covered in tattoos that hide the scars of their shredded off wings. killed God. toxic exes with lucifer. they are the keeper of several giant war birds who occasionally crave human flesh. they enjoy getting rowdy/smoking rope with their boys. they collect rocks that they think are neat. When anyone admits they are attracted to them, Gable trips over their words and absolutely swaglessly ends up sounding stupider and sexier by the end of the conversation; the will they/won't they and teasing they dish out to these (un?)lucky few is palpable. Sometimes the buster sword is on fire. They are immortal, they are cringe, they are trying to atone because they believe they are the reason the world is ruined.

Okay so aside from all of the above (giant with a matching giant flaming sword, killed god, extreme dumbass), here's some more propaganda for Gable the Godkiller.

They've escaped death multiple times with their partner in... crime? Like literally they were about to be executed in the most brutal way possible and just. Escaped and killed all their captors in the snowy wastelands.

They are the helmsperson of the Uhuru and take this job very seriously and definitely haven't left it to Bowser (you know, like from Mario) multiple times. Can steer that flying ship in horrible weather and still make it to port safely.

Healed an entire fucking hospital by cutting their hair for someone they had the hots for who was also in the hospital. Imagine being on that level of myth making in some random port city because of a hair cut.

Giant bird caretaker and also took the giant birds out on their friend's bachelor party (this was like. his Xth polyamorous marriage at this point btw) and had a fucking blast getting high on some rope and fucking around. They've also flown these birds into combat and looked cool as hell doing it (see: killing their friend's shithead of an older brother in a joust).

Had a relationship with Lucifer the Morning Star before they fell as an angel and killed God. Literally the reason the stars fell was their love for each other. The world would not look the same without Gable and they are, at the very least indirectly responsible for the creation of the Church of the Slain God and everything it represents (fantasy Catholicism).

And also yeah they are regularly tripping over themself and saying very silly things. 10/10 character we love Liz Anderson and Gable in this house

I am seeing people say that this Nicky fellow is basically trans! That's very cool! Gable is actually trans. Pronouns they/them/any presentation whatever they feel like.

Gable held a bachelor party for a BFF where the attendees hunted from their sky birds, wore dresses, and still managed to keep their eyeliner on point!

Gable killed God because he wouldn't let them be queer. They should rightfully crush anyone in their path.

We are finally going up against a character I know. I can confidently say all sexy moments with Gable are much sexier than TAZ's largely off-screen romances. Mod Note: This was written during the poll versus Killian Fangbattle.

But seriously. Listen to Gable's most recent introduction. Unparalleled sexy thembo introduction! Context: The Captain's Council is at a magical tattoo/piercing parlor (which has a lengthy form and disclosure process), trying to stay below the radar, and the Captain and Jonnit are pretending to be father/son to keep up the ruse. And to let Jonnit get a tattoo, since he's technically sort of underage. Bonus: Gable's decision at the tattoo/piercing parlor and noping out of Orimar and Jonnit's acting. (You should check out the full episode! Episode 197 starts a new arc and a good point to step into the series!)

Nicky Close (Dungeons & Daddies):

One armed half-demon man with a sword (also a Dedicated, Involved, Loving Father). (Specifically campaign 2, where he is an adult)

Transmasc bisexual (or at least so widely accepted as such it's basically canon) dilf half-demon let's start with the basics

And by half-demon I mean the literal prince of Hell

But also simultaneously is Saint Nicolas get you a man who can do both specifically this man

Missing an arm cause his ex-friends tragically betrayed him and shot it off but he doesn't need two arms to show you a good time wink wink ;)

The betrayal in question forced him to be seperated from his also hot milf voice actress wife and their son which is sad but in like a way that makes him sexier

Uses his one hand to wield a flaming katana that he used to rescue his son from the FBI

Protects his family with his life very literally which is hot as hell

Big himbo energy couldn't come up with a good plan if he used 100% of his brain

When he does fail at things it's pretty cute honestly

Definitely played a variety of musical instruments before the whole arm thing happened! Maybe he still does idk he's a sexy mystery

2 in 1 deal! This man was born from the merging of two timelines! Kinda sick!!! Also two dads = twice the daddy issues

You'd think the whole being forcibly split from his family thing would mean he isn't very close with his son but nope! His son adores him! They get along great!!!

His mom is simultaneously alive and dead

His mom bagged fucking two different dudes (one of whom FOUND HER DEAD in a different timeline, both of which are demons)

HIS MOMS NAME IS MORGAN FREEMAN, HIS DAD’S NAME IS GLENN CLOSE, AND HIS OTHER DAD’S NAME IS JODIE FOSTER, AND HIS GREAT SOMETHING GRANDFATHER’S NAME IS MERYL STREEP

HIS SONS NAME IS TAYLOR SWIFT

Lifelong pot smoker 👍 (plus drug flower user!!)

CANONICALLY BOTH A POLO WEARER (and yes, has all the stereotypes of that attached with it — a nerd, which is hot) AND A LEATHER JACKET WEARER (which also has all the stereotypes attached with it — a rebel dude person, which is also hot) [<- all widely accepted as canon by the fandom even as he’s older]

A part of the SECOND BIGGEST ship of season two, (Nark) despite the two characters only having one-two canon interactions (one of which JUST happened last episode)

Man’s a himbo what’s hotter than that

So many fucking names. You try to tag him in anything and he takes up half the space. That’s probably hot. For someone out there

This was already mentioned but so very very trans. Like. It’s basically canon

Rock and roll(er)

Joined a group of thieves called the watermice when he was like 13

for a few minutes had a guitar called the Battle Axe of Hatred

definitely had an frienimies with benefits relationship with his childhood friend Lark (sorry ppl that don’t ship nark lol) (it’s canon after ep 44 hah)

Nicky also acts like his sons Pokémon! Taylor tells his dad to do things, and Nicky does it without thinking about anything else he could do!

I feel like the audio of the entire Nick-breaking-into-the-FBI scene should be propaganda, but I'm copying select bits from the transcript:

Anthony: Yeah, it kind of echoes up through the vent, like the beginning of Metal Gear Solid. You hear a voice that strikes you as ever so slightly familiar, Taylor. Saying—  ??: [a deep voice] [echoing in the vent] Where is he?  Anthony: You hear—  Will: Uh-oh, he’s hot.  Anthony: —a bunch of shouting voices.  [giggles]  Beth: Uh-oh! Anthony: You hear a bunch of shouting voices and people shouting for him to get down on the ground to turn off his flame. To fucking get his hands behind his back. You hear this rhythmic stepping forward— because his footsteps don't sound like anybody else's because it's almost like… y’know when you toss a little bit of water onto a really hot pan and it just sizzles like that? It's like every footstep he's taking, you can hear that— Freddie: Cool  Anthony: — and you can feel some of that heat coming up in this vent, even though you can't see him at this point. And he goes—  ??: [echoing] Where. Is. My. Boy? Anthony: You hear the FBI agent—the FBI in quotation marks agent—in the back going like—  Agent: [echoing] He's safe for now. If you want to go ahead and make sure that he stays that way, you feel free to go ahead and step inside the suite that we've prepared for you, my boy. Anthony: And you hear the hot guy voice saying—  [chuckles]  The Hot Guy: [echoing] I don't think that's going to happen.

...

[a powerful rush of air builds] Anthony: You hear—  [gunfire, and the air rush culminates in a burst of flame; from underneath the fire, metal music starts playing] Anthony: —plumes of flame exploding.  [a person’s pained shout, gunfire and bursts of flame continue]  Anthony: You can feel the heat radiating through this metal vent and it's actually beginning to hurt and burn your hands.

...

Anthony: And you hear blood—  [sizzling]  Anthony: —hitting the fucking ground and you hear sizzling and things boiling and burning. Taylor: That could just be coffee! That could just be coffee. Link, let's go. Anthony: And you are getting closer and closer to the elevator. And you hear that same hot voice say—  The Hot Guy: [echoing] Where the hell is Taylor?

Gable and Nicky Together:

We are on a joint ticket now! This is a truly unbeatable combo. Not even god can nerf it because Gable killed him. Vote for us. Nicky Close will watch your stuff and play with your cats while Gable gives you the night of your life.

Gable and Nicky can literally be yuor angle or ur bevil.

Art of Gable and Nicky from @slightlyhopefulromantic.

[seat-safety-switch]

Everyone loves a rousing game of bumper cars, but as soon as you bring it onto the highway people get all uptight. That’s exactly the kind of hypocrisy that drives me nuts.

Insurance companies have been charging you for centuries to have massive accidents, investing your deposits to make even more profit, and yet very few people will ever collect on those policies. That’s your money. Now, I’m not one of those conspiracy theorists who think that the concept of “auto insurance” is a false mindworm produced by the Alien Forefathers to enslave the populace. I’m just asking questions. And one of those questions is: why don’t I start my own insurance company?

I live in a pretty free-spirited part of the world. The wingnuts who run the show around here don’t believe in getting in the way of a good time, unless that good time is being held by a minority or one of their political enemies. If you’re a corporation, you can get away with literally anything you want in the name of profit. If you’re a corporation. Starting a corporation costs three hundred dollars. Insurance is way higher than that.

Of course, being an insurance company, I still have to produce documentation that I am doing insurance-y stuff. I charge myself premiums, really fat ones. Those deposits are backstopped by a durable asset base: my backyard and garage full of old Dodge parts (worth a fortune, if you ask anyone trying to sell them on eBay.) And I don’t make it particularly easy for myself to make a claim. Luckily, I know someone at the top, so I can bypass all that red tape when it comes time to cash out the claim holdings for a new bumper or a couple cans of Princess Auto’s best tractor enamel spray paint.

It gets better, too: insurance companies will get mad at drivers, but they give other insurance companies a break. They know there’s enough moolah to spread around that they don’t need to get super froggy about any one job. Hey bro, our investment team had a bad day at the ponies, but we’ll be good for the next claim, can you spot me this one? Thanks dude! They pay for the GM dealership you just plowed through, and nobody has to know that your only “insured” is yourself. If they figure it out, they’re not going to tell their boss they got tricked. Just sweep it under the rug.

[sixthsensewulf]

I think people are forgetting in the whole discussion against the Rat Grinders.

That Porter and Jace are pretty much the major villains here. The big bad. So their damage and health output will be slighter more the challenge against the Bad Kids.

The Rat Grinders are not. But also The Rat Grinders ain't level 20 they just have access to level 20 abilities, is what I grabbed from last week's AP. I could be wrong on that.

This fight is like the previous fights in FH. Like yes the bad kids are clearing the house rn with the Rat Grinders but also doing some shenanigans with Porter and Jace to literally make sure that they (The Bad Kids) are not bunched up around a Sorcerer and Barbarian.

Story wise : am I slightly disappointed that the Bad Kids ain't trying to convince The Rat Grinders to stop? No. . Like take the fucking finale in Neverafter.

The team literally were killing the fairies as well as attacking the Hand and the Stepmother. .. Like literally this fight feels similar to that fight.

Ally being on healing this time rather than spell casting. They didn't try to convince the fairies or the Princesses (apart from Mira and Elody since they did have a stronger connection) to join their side. Apart from the Orange Hat shenanigans.. it was a serious fight, story wise as well as strategic wise.

Back to FH. .unless I missed it... The Bad Kids ain't figured out a way to solve the rage crystals right? Like Lydia (Ragh's mom) was in a rage because of a different god in a gem in her chest. That the bad kids solved. Like they didn't stop things from happening during Frosty Fair, only Grix. The soil problem was still there. The only leg up they had was the name Ankarna and the connection to Cassandra as well as the non corrupted realm is in Fig's recording studio.

Like if the Rat Grinders weren't going nuts towards the Bad Kids. They wouldn't even be on the Bad Kids radar. It's like a high school movie right like for example Mean Girls. The popular kids don't see the nerdy groups unless somehow they combine or clash.

The fight would be the same. Like oh 6 teenagers are helping you to destroy the world. Okay... You are going down.

Like honesty story beat wise... The Bad kids know that the Rat Grinders ain't at fault pre rage crystal right. So yeah they might bring them back up after solving everything. Kipperlilly however HATED RIZ since Freshman Year. .we know that. KLCK wanted Riz's life / backstory during freshman year. Because of what we found out from Jawbone. She was already angry at the Bad Kids pre rage crystal.

[beatrixstonehill2]

"This is so unfair. I'm a trans girl and got put in this sorority where the only way they're letting me stay on estrogen and be a girl is if I don't be a gooner. They know trans girls are so sweet and perverted that being in a sorority is our fetishistic dream. So many sexy girls to bust a nut to, all of them bi, making out with each other, half of them so pregnant they look ready to pop. Huge boobs, fat asses, all super eager to fuck and party. And I was told by the administration office my stay at the sorority is preliminary, to see if I can behave myself. I was given a list of stuff that will prove I'm secretly just a man trying to invade girls' spaces......

Number one, no jerking off to the girls or trying to cum on them as I go about my day. WTF, the other girls rub their clits for hours on end, in the middle of the lounge and foyer, their mouthwatering pussies out for all to see. They squirt on each other for fun before class! But I can only masturbate if I'm alone? It's so unfair!

Number two, no accidental ejaculation. So no cumming in my panties or down my leg in a cute dress. No cumming in my bikini or my yoga pants. I have to keep my cock under control at all times. Never mind how many girls are fondling themselves all day long as they talk and study and shower, playing with themselves nonstop, groping their tits, their big pregnant bellies, some girls in the halls will even be talking to each other and casually fisting their own asses like it's totally normal. I'm so jealous!

Number three, sapphic fakegirls are just boys. No relationships with girls, period. ....... Never mind that literally every girl here scissors and fuck the other girls for fun. I'm only allowed to take it up the ass at the frathouse to prove I'm a girl.

Number four, no porn. I'm not to watch porn casually, with other people around, in a 'perverted and male way', because I guess girls don't blast porn and watch it in public? Oh wait, every girl does. Porn is on in the lounge 24/7, I just have to walk by and not indulge in watching it. Girls are watching porn on their phones constantly. My roommate watches videos of girls getting gangraped in public for hours every night and cums over and over. The videos sound so amazing! The girls start off complaining about being kissed and groped, to stop pulling out their breasts, how embarrassed they are for their huge tits to be pulled out in public, then the girls usually whine about being pregnant and so many cocks could hurt the babies. But the men never care, they fuck these girls soooo hard for hours in public and nobody does anything, they just watch and film, or masturbate to the carnage. Eventually, the girls wind up moaning and cumming, loving every second of it. I wanna watch these vids so bad it hurts! And my cute pregnant roommate, Stephanie, gets to abuse her pussy over and over and over, absolutely soaking her bed in her pussy juices, but I'd be the perv for doing the same.....

Number five, no grabbing or playing with my cock in the restroom. I have a pretty girl that monitors me in the bathroom every time I go, to make sure I'm not gooning and jerking off. The girls chosen to watch me are so sexy and clearly only there to tempt me into breaking the rules. Only really curvy girls with thick thighs, big asses, huge boobs, and pregnant bellies sticking out so far their arms don't even reach out all the way in front of them. The girls love teasing me, telling me what a pretty girl I am, how beautiful my tits are, how much they want to suck my fat cock. But I can only sit down and pee as they watch, no touching my cock at all.... It's always dripping pee when I get up and I just have to deal with it.

Number six, no filming the other girls in perverted way. No upskirts, no following them filming their asses or tits. Nothing. It's so frustrating because the other girls do this constantly. They'll film upskirts of their friends and upload them to TikTok or Instagram all the time, even grope and pull out their tits like pervy boys.... And that's all in good fun.

Long story short, this university has one of the highest detrans rates for trans girls and I'm sad to say I cracked. It all became too much. I'm gooning soooo hard! I'm filming all these sexy girls, finally, humping the ground, playing with my cock, asking the girls perverted questions like how many babies they're pushed out or whether or not they fantasize about being raped. I can't contain it anymore. I've jerked off like a dozen times today. I'm being transferred to the frathouse..... And as of twenty minutes ago I was given my first shot of testosterone.

Sorry, mom and dad, looks like you're getting back your son. I love how this feels, jerking off in public, groping the other girls, saying lewd, nasty things to them as I stroke my cock. Fuckkkkk I really am a boy, aren't I? This sucks..... I guess playing pretend as a girl really was just a way for me to see more titties, fat asses, swollen pussies, and bellies stretched to the bursting point with babies. I really was just infiltrating, hoping to be one of them and engage in all the wonderful, perverted stuff girls do to each other. Instead I'm going to be just another musclebound creep, forcing myself on pretty girls around campus and bragging about it to all my gooner friends.... My cock is getting hard again just thinking about it.

[yuis-art]

🏋🏼‍♀️ Gym Trainer: Abby Anderson x Fem!Plus size Reader🏋🏼‍♀️

Part 3!

<Hey GUYSS sorry for the delay! I got so nervous dude 💀, I thought my writing was gonna be bad so I felt self conscious! But I wrote part 3!! And part 4 will be soon I promise! <3 BUT I WANNA MAKE FANART FOR THIS CHAPTER, and I’m gonna post it on Twitter! <33>

This Chapter does contain smut! SO MINORS DNI WITH THIS POST! Please!

C/W: Fingering (r receiving), clit play, Praising (good girl, pretty girl), heavy making out, reader squirts , breast play

Word count: 3k!

Proof read: yes

Enjoy!

“Should I wear Make-up? No she’ll think it’s a date.” You look at yourself for a minute. “What if it is tho?” You say as you grab a little bit of foundation and then do your hair in your go-to hairstyle.

You try to find a cute outfit. Or not really cute, but something she’ll like. You wear some jeans and a black casual shirt, one that really shows off your breast. “I swear half my clothes are so basic. But this will do I guess.” You put on some lipgloss and a strawberry shortcake perfume.

As you’re about to leave you grab your purse and your phone and lock your apartment. You’re standing outside and you’re checking yourself every minute in your mini mirror. “Why am I so nervous, I literally took a class with her not too long ago.” You start texting Nora.

You: Noraaaa

Nora: yes girl

You: I think Abby is taking me on a date.

Nora: WHAT. She’s never this bold. She must really like you.

You: girl I’m so nervous.

Nora: don’t be lol, I bet she’s more nervous than you don’t worry.

As you’re about to text Nora back you get a text from Abby.

Abby: I’m here :)

You’re looking around and you adjust your hair.

Abby pulls up in her light blue beetle, you never expected her to be in a car like that honestly, it’s so small compared to her stature.

You wave and Abby ducks her head a little and waves at you. She gets out her car. She’s wearing a black tank that’s showing off her body again, with green cargo pants and a light jacket.

‘Oh my ggoooodddd’ you think, literally just by looking at her you feel your heart ache, and your sweating. You never realized how tall she was either.

“Hi!” She ducks down to your height and smiles. “H-hi Abby.” You say as you advert your eye contact again.

She’s walking back to her car and she opens the door for you. “After you pretty.” You’re going crazy, she’s using so many names on you and it’s making you go nuts. You already know your face is heated.

You get into the car and she shuts the door lightly but hard enough that it doesn’t slip open. She’s racing to the other side and she jumps in. She puts on her seatbelt and puts her keys in the ignition. “Oh wait hold on.” She reaches over and grabs your seat belt and puts it on for you. She smells so good. She’s so close to you. Face by your neck, hand on your arm. You wish you could stay like this. I know you barely know her but oh my god, if you could, you would kiss her right now. She pulls back and starts driving. You’re just staring at her. Starstucked. She’s smiling and playing her playlist again. Her eyes are on the road. “You’re staring, did. I do something?” She says as she glances over at you for a second and her eyes keep on the road. “O-oh sorry!” You say as you put your purse close to your stomach, clenching on it out of nervousness. “Where are.. we going by the way?” You say, head on the seat staring at her again. “I wanted to take you to this one realllyyy good place. Like they have the best protein filled stuff; I usually go here after my workouts.” She says as you both wait at a stop light. “I’m excited, honestly after our workout today I had no idea what to eat, like I have no idea how to meal prep and, I don’t know where to start.” You look at the road with her. “…I could.. cook for you, I could do meal preps with you.” She glances over again and her cheeks are a little flushed. “Ms Anderson are you gonna cook for me?” You say jokingly and she chuckles deeply. “Yeah of course, I don’t mind and I promise my food is good! Trust me on this.” She says as she stops at another stop light.

You both sit in a comfortable silence again. Until,

“Actually.. ok.” She pulls over, she turns to face you and her cheeks are still flushed. “If you want.. we could go back to my place actually and I could… maybe.. cook for you?” Your eyes widened. ‘Oh my god I’m going to her place.’ “I-I uh.” You start stuttering. “Sorry, never mind it was a dumb idea-“ You stop her mid sentence. “I.. wouldn’t mind at all Abby.” You say with a genuine smile on your face. Her eyes widened. “Ok! Um, let’s see, I may have to pick up a few things. Do you mind grocery shopping with me?” “Abbyyy I thought you’d never ask.” You say with a goofy smile appearing on your face. She rolls her eyes jokingly and she pulls off into the road again.

You both stop at convenience store. She gets out and runs to open your door for you. “Thank you pretty.” You say smiling. She grabs a cart and she waits for you. You’re grabbing your purse out her car and you shut the door. As you look at her. You notice her hand holding out and she looks at you. You give her a ‘?’ Look and she starts smiling at you and she giggles. “Give me your hand cutie.” She says. Your face gets heated again. You grab her hand and she locks it with you.

She’s acting so nonchalant but you’re literally so in love with this girl. You both walk in and your hand starts sweating so much; she keeps adjusting your hands together as she makes it to the meat section looking at all the chicken. “You’re not vegetarian or vegan are you?” She looks over at you and you shake your head no. She adds the chicken to the cart. As you guys keep walking around the store you look at your hand size difference. Her hand is so big; at least 2 inches bigger than yours. You’re daydreaming again, and your thumb rubs over the back of her hand. ‘Oh my god. I Wonder what these would feel like..’ you loose your train of thought as she looks at you. “Do you wanna get winneeee?” She says holding the bottle by her face and tilting it. “Y-yeah! Sure.” You say as you advert your eyes again. “Are you ok? I’m sorry was the hand holding to much?” Abby’s hand slips away. You grip it tightly. “N-no! Please. I like This.” You say to her as you rub her hand again. “Ok, eager girl.” She says playfully. Your face heats up again.

She finished grabbing everything and you both check out. You head back to the car and she opens the door once again for you. The car is silent, she’s driving to her place, her playlist echos in the background. “Abby.. can I ask you something.” She says a light “Yeah?” As she focuses on the road. “Would this count as a date?” You glance at her and focus on the road with a heat coming to your face, I don’t know why you felt so bold all of a sudden, she makes you so nervous but you figured. “And if I say yes?” She looks over at you again and back at the road. You smile and get all giggly. “WHY DIDNT YOU TELL MEEE.” You say, your face getting even more hot. “I-I’m sorry!” Abby says. “Nora told me.. to ask you in a smooth way but to not be forward?” She smiles still focusing. “I-I was gonna ask, but-“ “Abby.” You grab her bicep. “You’re ok! Im completely fine with it.” Your brain gets to thinking. ‘Noraaaa..no wonder she said Abby’s probably more nervous than me.’ you’re wondering why she didn’t just ask you straight up, like you would say no. Abby is too pretty for you to say no. “I wish I would’ve wore something better then.” You laugh. “You look good to me.” Abby says, she glances at your chest for a moment. “I like the shirt on you.” You punch her softly jokingly, and she laughs.

You make it to a nice neighborhood, it’s so pretty, so much trees. She lives in a small house community, almost like apartments. She arrives and it’s a one floor house, she has a lot of plants, mainly sunflowers/daisy’s. She parks in the drive way. “Sorry for the first date being at my house.” She says taking the keys out the ignition. “It’s fine you’re ok.” You say to her. You unbuckle your seat belt.

You both make it in the house. It’s very small but very cozy. She places her gym equipment on the floor by her couch.

It’s so warm in here, her wallpaper is a nice tan color, and her furniture is a mix of a lot of beige and dark grays. She also has ALOOOTTT of books, like a whole library in her house. “Wow, this is nice.” “Thank you.” She says quietly setting the food on her counter top. She takes off her jacket and hangs it up. She looks so good right now. Her arms are showing, her skin looks so soft, yet so sculpted. “If you want you can watch something while I get started.” She puts on a tight white apron with a pink hem at the bottom. “D-do you want me to help.” You say, the way she looks right now oh my god you’re drooling, she’s making you so wet without even trying too. “No pretty you don’t have to.” She says holding your chin and rubbing it. You almost drop to your knees. She rubs your lower lip softly, glancing at your eyes and your lips. “Don’t worry, yeah?” She lets go of your face with a smirk and she head towards the kitchen. Your thighs clench. She’s gonna drive you crazy.

You sit on the couch and flip through channels. The way she living room is set up, it’s an open kitchen so you can see her, but she can’t really see you, all she sees is your head.

You start texting Nora.

You: IM AT HER HOUSE, she’s cooking for me

Nora: DAMN? She must really like you dude, cause that girl never brings anyone to the crib 💀💀💀

You: LMFAO, WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME IT WAS A DATE

Nora: SHE WAS NERVOUS SO I TOLD HER TO ACT LIKE IT WASNT IM SORRY

You: it’s ok 💀, but I’m so nervous I’m just sitting here on the couch and I’m trying to find something to watch, she caressed my lips, MY LIPS NORA

Nora: OMMGGG DUDE GOOD LUCK, let me know how it GOESSS HAHA, you were in her class for one day only and now your at her house 😭

Abby breaks your head up from your phone. “I don’t hearrr anything on the tvvv.” She says as she’s turning on the rice cooker. “S-sorry! Haha I’m a little nervous, I don’t know what you like.” “Whatever you turn on I’m sure I’ll like it.” She says glancing at you. You end up turning on an early 2000s movie. One of those goofy teen movies. They’ve always been your favorite. Hopefully she’ll feel the same. “Oh my god not this.” She says as she comes over to you and leans on the couch staring at the tv. “I haven’t seen this in so long.” She laughs and looks at you. You advert your eyes from her, your face is getting so heated again. “I could change it!” You grab the remote and Abby snatches it. “No no, don’t change it haha, I use to watch this with my dad all the time. So I kinda grown to like it.” She says putting the remote on the counter top. She walks back to the kitchen and you stand up. “Is it ok, if I watch you. I mean, I know you told me you could cook for me, but just in case I wanna meal prep later on in the future.” You say smiling. “Sure I don’t mind.” She looks nervous. “Uhhh, here let me show you.” She holds out her hand and she guides you. She brings you near the counter top and by the cutting board. “I’m gonna show you how I cut my chicken. Usually I do it in squares.” She stands behind you, extremely close, she grabs your hand gently. Knife in one hand gently holding it in yours guiding your hands. Her waist is so close to your back you can feel her breathing softly. She leans over you. “Is this ok.” You’re getting so wet, this is ridiculous. You haven’t had any action in so long and this girl is literally driving you off the rails. “U-uh y-yeah. It’s fine.” You say. She chops the chicken with you and you look at your hand difference again. Her hands are so big over yours, her rough callus hands. You almost feel dizzy, she’s so warm. Is she teasing you? Does she wanna see how heated you can get, how nervous she can make you. It’s almost like she’s edging you, without even going anything.

“Then I cut in squares like this, you see.” We could prep the vegetables next if you want too. She backs away and goes to the sink to wash her hands and you follow after her. You both wash your hands. “Grab the vegetables out the fridge for me yeah?” You nod, trying not to fall over. The tension is so thick, you lean over looking into the fridge trying to find them. She leans over you again, whispering to you. “Did you find them?” “Y-yeah!” You shoot up and hit your head on the freezer door and fall back a little. “Oh my god! Are you ok? Wait let me get something hold on.” Abby grabs you by your arms and lifts you effortlessly on the counter top. Your thighs clench again. She moved you like you were nothing, and you never had anyone pick you up like that. “I think I got an ice pack in here.” She finds it and hands it to you. You place it on your head and kick your feet gently. Abby walks up to you, getting her waist in-between your legs, she comes so close to your face but she ends up tilting your head down so she can she the top. “Ok it doesn’t look that bad, I’m sorry for startling you.” She says as she rest her hands on your hips softly. She’s been close but oh my god she’s so close. Her lashes are fluttering, you feel how warm her face is. You start breathing heavier, you’re getting so wet. She’s all that’s in your mind. “Abby…” You say breathlessly, practically moaning her name. She looks at your face. Her face gets a little red when she sees her position. “Oh I’m sorry!” She says she’s beginning to back up but you try to hold her. She looks at you for a moment. Up and down at your face; and then your chest.

“Abby..” you say again softly. “..Yeah?” She says looking at your lips. “C-can I.. kiss you?” You say. Scared she’ll say no, you let go of her for a second, but instead she leans into you kissing you softly on your lips. You don’t know what to do with your arms so you move them around her neck. Her hands start gripping at your love handles, she messages them and then she uses the other one to grip your thighs. You let out a soft moan, and her tongue roughly slips into your mouth. She begins moving her hands up the back of your shirt, grabbing your bra strap, flicking with the handles. She stops. “Wait.” She looks at you, your hair is already a mess, your breathing so heavy. She’s got you so wet and so dizzy with lust. Your pupils are blown so wide. “Do you.. want this.. I know we barely, know each other. We only know each other through Nora but. We can stop and-“ You kiss her cheek. “I-I do. I promise. Abby, I never met any one like you before. I haven’t really been into dating recently ever since I’ve gained a little extra weight. I felt self conscious to get back out there. That’s why I wanted to start loosing weight, but I realized that I wanted to do it for myself instead down the line, but I didn’t expect the gym trainer to be so hot… and into me.” Abby giggles and caresses your face. “Ever since Nora showed me a pic of you back in college I knew I had to get my hands on you, I just got a little nervous.” She rubs your thigh again and kisses you softly this time. You both end up sitting there just making out on her counter top, her hands on your waist, your fingers in her hair tangling her braid. She pauses again. You whimper a little at the loss of her lips. “I-I’m sorry, did you wanna eat first?”

“Oh! Yeah. Yeah of course!” She kisses your forehead and lifts you off the counter again setting you down. “Go sit on the couch pretty girl. I’ll be done in a sec.” She says kissing your cheek and then your lips.

A hour passes you and Abby are on her couch, watching this cheesy 2000s movie drinking wine, eating the delicious food she made. She made chicken with vegetables and rice. She calls it a very “high protein meal?” But you don’t even care you just really enjoy being in her company. She’s talking about how Nora use to be in college, and how she almost failed half her classes but Nora helped her out so much that she ended up passing. She also talks about her first college boyfriend Owen and how he got a girl pregnant and left her for the girl; which was reasonable, he still cheated on her, but she said they still remain friends tho. You tell about your dating experiences also, and your college dorm mates, and Highschool bullies throughout the years.

You and Abby are laughing so much your stomach hurts, she keeps bringing up her friend group and experiences she’s had.

You’re almost completely buzzed. You forgot how much of a light weight you are when it comes to alcohol, but you still remain completely alert. You both finish eating and you’re snuggling up to her, your back on her chest and her hands are wrapped around your stomach, she keeps gripping it and messaging your muffin top. “What are you doiiinggg.” You say. “Nothing, just admiring you.” She rubs your thigh and your inner thigh, moving your legs open a little. You’re focusing on the movie a little bit, but you can’t cause you feel her hands on your body again, which is making you heat up. She begins kissing the back of your neck, and you tilt your head. You let out a little whimper again as you feel her hands in button your jeans. “Abby..” you whimper. “Yeahh..” she whispers into your ear kissing your cheek. Your thighs clench feeling her breath on your ear. “Hehe, what are you doing?” You giggle. “Does it bother you?” She says rubbing your thigh up and down, smirking. You whimper. “N-no.” You say stuttering. “Focus on the movie, yeah?” She unzips your pants as your eyes are focused on the movie. Her fingers explore your underwear. She jolts a little. “Someone’s soaked. All for me?” She whispers in your ear again, making you clench at nothing. “Th-the way you’ve been teasing me all night, I-i.” “Shhh shh, I said focus on the movie.” She says softly. Her fingers circle your clit and your back arches. “Abby.. fuck.” She begins exploring your shirt and she lifts it up in one quick swoop, she caresses your bra and slips her hand in the cup and rubs your nipples. “O-oh my g-god.” Your eyes are still on the movie. “That’s right. Focus on the movie pretty girl.” She says rubbing your clit faster. She begins moving one finger down to your entrance. She circles her movement a little. “One.. or you think you can take two?” She whispers in your ear and begins kissing your neck a bit harsh, sucking on your skin. You can barely breathe, it’s so much already and all she’s doing is rubbing your clit. “…t-two..” you say as you try to keep your eyes open. Your chest is heaving so much, she’s pinching your nipple. Two of her fingers slip into you and you let out a moan. “You like that don’t you pretty?” She says pulling your hair around your shoulder to kiss more of your neck, “Y-yeah.” She’s continues sucking on your neck and her fingers are moving so slow, it’s killing you, she’s hitting your spot so perfect tho, you think you’re gonna cum soon. “Abby..” “Yeah..” She says chucking softly. All you have is her on your mind. Her breathe on your neck, your hand gripping her forearm as she fingers you slowly. “I think I’m gonna..c-cum.” “Already?” She says.

Her movements speed up a little. “Are you gonna cum for me?” “Yyyeaahhhh.” You say moaning, you almost sound like a porn star. Her fingers are speeding up so fast, and her movements on your clit speed up also. She’s whispering so many praises in your ear it’s driving you crazy. “You’re such a good girl, Who’s my pretty girl? Are you gonna cum for me baby?” She’s whispering so softly, buts it’s so loud in your ear. Her fingers are hitting your g-spot so perfectly, your hips are moving so much, you’re chasing your high. You’re clenching around her finger so much. “Cum for me pretty.” You let go. Squirting all over her fingers, your jeans are soaked. Her fingers and still moving so fast in and out of you, but she slows down. Your chest is heaving so much. Your head collapses into her chest and you look up at her. Forehead sweating. The grip you have on her arm untightens. “S-sorry was that to much?” She says. “N-no i liked it.” You say waving your hands up. “…Abby that was amazing.” You flip over and straddle her hips with your thighs and kiss her lips softly. You’re completely dazed. “Let’s get you cleaned up.” She says giggling and pressing her forehead against yours.

She gets you cleaned up. You’re wearing her shirt and a couple of her boxers, luckily she has some over sized ones that’s she’s stretched out I’ve the years a little. They are still a bit tight tho, but you didn’t bring any underwear; cause you never thought it would get to this. Abby comes out wearing her own black boxers and the same black tank.

You’re in her bed with her and she’s cuddling you. Rubbing circles into your back. “Might be too late, but did you wanna spend the night? Cause I could drive you home?” You look up at her. “Abby you just fingered me on your couch, and you’re asking if I wanna spend the night?” She pushes the pillow in your face. “Shut up.” You both laugh and the laughs turn into deep convos and sleepy convos. You spend the night at her place. You can’t wait to see where this leads.

Thank you guys for reading!! Chapter 4 will be soon! <3

🩷 Tags! @marvelwomen-simp @ccinnamongrl @t3bbyb3ar 🩷