#i am nervous about sharing it but here we go what i've been working on these past few days

[izzysarchivedblogs]

When was the first EXACT moment Linda knew she was in love with Leonard?

@thefleetsfinest -> okay, so somewhere in my brain, this concept and idea of how to detail Linda's entire relationship with love and romantic relationships, and falling in love came about and it morphed from simply answering this answer to writing a drabble that is 13,393 words long. I hope this answers your question, Mel, and I hope you appreciate this! You inspire me a lot and thanks for letting me write this whacky thing; hope it doesn't beak tumblr.

When had she fallen in love. . . . had it been with Steve? He was cute and a little plain. So, no, her first boyfriend wasn’t love. It was never gonna last, but she liked him. . . . what about with Jack? Oh, now there was someone that brought a smile and fondness in her eyes. That had a timer known from start to finish, but it was fun. Jack was good for the heart. . . . Stephen Strange came up in the blind spot and she should have known better. It wouldn’t last either, even with how that ended up. Why did it have to hurt. . . . Didn’t she get engaged? Well, yes, and she had loved him but not enough or perhaps she hadn’t been loved enough.

Somewhere, some psychologist, or pseudo-philosopher like her mother could dissect that relationship with a scalpel. Take out the lungs and liver, the problems and what good it was; look at the diseased heart, put in a jar and turn it for inspection, and call someone the fool. She hopes it was not her.

Now. . . . Leonard Mccoy. . . .

TIME MOVES FORWARD

But first she has to call a friend or she can rent a room, it’s not like she’ll be here longer than a week anyways. After the call with headquarters, she was still cleared to be boarding and joining the crew of the USS-Enterprise returned to the port of San Francisco recently. Her head is level on her shoulders, angled forward and her eyes looking ahead. There is a clear thought in her mind, the new mission and while her heart. . . .

Well, there were two types of doctors the one who put away their feelings and those whose kept them. It was what the Chief Medical Officer aboard the USS-SOLACE had said once when addressing the medical staff as they came to find the outbreak was worst than they had expected and the virus was adapting already, mutated and the variant was not responding to what they had came prepared with.

There were two types of doctors, and those that kept their feelings were going to get sick. That was okay, that meant they would need time to breathe and tend to themselves while they were all swamped with more work than any of the nurses or doctors experienced during their residencies. Linda thought she was the one who kept her feelings, and now as she’s coming onto the Enterprise, heartbreak on her coattails, maybe she would need to put them away. Onto a shelf where she could take them down again when she was ready to take them out and feel them all again, when they were needed. She could be both types.

She was here now, on a new assignment that she had requested transfer to alternate ship and mission type than what the USS-SOLACE had to offer. She gave her all during the harrowing parts on the Solace, loved her work there and did great things for people in need. If she hadn’t done what she had done for love, than she would be back there on SOLACE with its new assignment and helping more people. Linda Carter was committed to path now, she could make commitments and now a new set of people needed her. Any ship of any size would need their doctors.

That was what she told herself, and when she was met face to face with her new CMO, she would say she was HAPPY to be here. Her hand makes contact with Leonard Mccoy’s, a smile before she even looks up into his face. Green gaze meets green gaze as her name falls from her lips, and there’s a beat. A pause where nothing leaves her throat, and it’s as good as the truth that would come from her at the time. ❝ It’s my pleasure. ❞ 

She was happy to be here, to get back to work and immerse herself back into a ship and its crew. Get to know what her duties would be, as she was specially trained in cardiology and cardiothoracic surgery, along with experience dealing with viral pandemics and emergency front line medicine now would always aid her, and familiarize herself with the staff and crew.

Linda wouldn’t need to think about a broken engagement or even speak of that. The ship wasn’t gaining one researcher, Dr. Michelis, but his loss would not be missed. Her hand is still held in Leonard’s, perhaps moments held too long as her lips only pull tighter into a grin, ❝ Well, I am an open book ⸻ don’t be a stranger, we’ll work best if we work as a team and act like friends. ❞   She had meant that, Linda would humor the Chief with any questions and talk in extensive detail about her experience as Doctor Carter and even indulge in details about her father and his work.

Such philosophy would carry over to the whole of the staff here; the nurses, researchers, other doctors, and assisstants all here to maintain the health of a crew over four hundred. They would be her team, and they would act as friends. It would be a different place, a new pace, one which she would have thought had been better for Marshall. . . . now it was hers, all hers ALONE to experience. . . .

FLASH BACK

Out, get out, she has to leave the room. She looks to the Chief, and she had allowed for Linda to excuse herself. PATIENTS DYING? She got used to that; she has known death and looked in its face, held its hand as many would pass on when medicine failed them or when it was their time. Coming here and dealing with the crisis, they all faced massive losses and stood in death’s shadow as they worked tirelessly to fight against it.

It had to take one more before they could figure it out, didn’t it? DEFEATED, TIRED. Her friend, had been her best friend, who laughed with her and encouraged her in their personal lives as. . . . she wouldn’t even be dating Marshall if not for Georgie. She now lay in a hospital bed, dying. That was where Georgie had been the past few weeks, she knows now. EVERY FIBER OF HER FEELS WRECKED.

Linda had promised that tonight would be for Marshall but how could she give herself to him after the news? She wants to scream at Georgie, and then at one of the ship’s psychologists and demand they evaluate her. She can’t be sound mind for rejecting any medical care. She’s just overworked like they all have been, this situation was worse than they had expected. They had needed support, and the masses, the numbers of this outbreak had added an extra digit and it got onto the SOLACE and into its crew. Deaths were coming personally now. Unfortunately for Linda, it was now claiming Georgie and she wanted to swiftly decline, no medicine.

Marshall would understand her skipping a dinner. Would. Should, they loved each other, it should be simple. She’s at his door and entering freely. It’s cold in the room, and he fixes her with a hurt gaze. ❝ Dearest ⸻ ❞  They speak at the same time, and things wither between them in that very moment. He was angry with her, YOU JUST CAN’T PUT ASIDE YOURSELF FOR ONE NIGHT.

❝ My friend is dying! Georgie! ❞ Oh, there’s that eyeroll she despises so much, and all her tears dry up in an instant. She marches with pain in every step further into the apartment, she’s been on her feet this entire week and then the Chief’s telling her about how Georgie’s joined the quarantined and she was going to be dying. She knows he never cared for Georgie, and that was fine even though they wouldn’t be dating without her friend.

PEOPLE DIE, LINDA. ⸻ WE TALKED ABOUT THIS. YOU CAN’T PUT YOUR ONE OTHER PERSON IN FRONT ONCE?

❝ HA! ❞ She bites bitterly, and that’s how it starts. All her emotions torn up, put to tatters and shreds, and he has to push her over the brink. Linda stays on her feet, and she yells right back at him for his snap.

Georgie said they went together because they went match for match. Was this what you were meaning about us, Georgie? She would be suiting up tomorrow to see her in her sorry state.  Ask her why she was making this choice, come to her with her voice sore from yelling it out, ending this relationship from the looks of it.

❝ You are really going to start this right now? People die, but this is Georgie! Losing her fucking life, so of course I wasn’t going to be here with you tonight. Fight me! I know you don’t give a damn about her! But here’s where I thought you gave a damn about me! You know what ⸻ ❞

I DO CARE, BUT DO YOU? ⸻ DON’T MAKE THIS DIFFICULT, LINDA ! YOU HEAR YOURSELF?

She’s losing her friend and she’s losing her boyfriend, oh how she would like for this year to be over with already. Her shoes are coming off, being kicked across the FLOOR, because she’ll be damned if he makes her leave this room when she was whittled to nothing today. Her feet stomp on the FLOOR when she goes for the next round of cutting thorny words. God, everything hurts.  

The argument tears on for hours, raising their voices, back and forth; and she’s surprised they haven’t been reported or dragged out. SHE DOESN’T DO THIS. Linda doesn’t yell in arguments, she argues but she controls herself and Marshall had to chose today of all days to. . . . make her into a woman of hysterics.

TONIGHT, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE ENGAGED.

❝ Don’t. Don’t. ❞ Her hand goes up, just to signal for him to go away and leave her alone. There are her tears again, and Linda wants to fall apart; lay in bed and just be an abyss of a person right now, because she was done with everything. At her limits, then torn completely down until she felt like nothing; not enough. Not enough at all. Taken lower than that.

He does it, the whole speech about her and their relationship, gets on one knee and takes her hand, forces her to stay and have her hand held. Tells her that he’ll be here when she loses Georgie, she’s going to need someone. He even has a ring, and she can’t look at him. She can’t listen to him, be told what was supposed to happen and what she should do. Her heart is pounding, hurting, she feels ill. ❝ Dammit, Marshall. ❞ Linda wants to throw up.

She’s going to pull the ring off, drop it and let it fall to the ground. Where does she go from here? ❝ I’m going to go see Georgie. ❞ Where does she go after that?  

TIME MOVES FORWARD

The first few months aboard were going smoothly; there were those moments when the medical bay would be busy and others when she could breathe. One week the replicators were malfunctioning and the food that was produced had left half the ship with food poisoning. It was immediately fixed, but the problem wasn’t known until several hours later after it had been used all day. It was in a moment like that as she’s moving through the room where she feels a little lonely despite everyone around her, like she needs a breath, and she pauses in a moment to take that breath that she hadn’t realized how badly she had needed that.

Her thoughts interrupted when the Chief pulls her attention, catching her taking that breath and she hadn’t even realized she had closed her eyes until she has to open them to look at Dr Mccoy. Greens meets greens, and she smiles to him. ❝ You don’t ever do that, Chief? Take a moment and breathe it all in? Let yourself just get lost in the room ⸻ ❞ Her hand goes to touch his arm, than to his hand and redirects his hand to his stomach. Mimics herself the same gesture, hand to her stomach and closes her eyes again. ❝ Try it, eyes close; breath and smell the room, breath again and just push yourself. Be the room, and it helps sometimes. ❞

Chief Mccoy’s been excellent to work with, and they’ve hit it off; both of them possibly taking what Linda had said to him when they met to heart. They work as a team and act as friends. She thinks maybe that was just his personality as well, to get along. He’s grumpy, in a way that makes her roll eyes with a smile; laugh over the things he says and sometimes if she didn’t have tight control on her tongue she would match back in wit with his sarcastic comments. Leonard tells her that’s part of his Southern charm, to which she had scoffed and admitted to having no idea about that at all. ❝ Not an Earth girl; so as far as I know you’re making that up. ❞  If it offends him, she laughs.

It felt good to have a friend again. He was one of her first ones here besides a few of the nurses aboard. They would have lunch together sometimes. He’s complaining about his headaches to which she knows now means two of bridge crew men of whom he’s known since the academy. They were talking about the second, Clint right now, and Linda tell him that she can handle Clint just fine. ❝ Honestly, I like him; reminds me of my brother Tag. ❞

They got into the habit of being around each other, they worked well and were fast friends, lunches together unless the Chief was called off with the bridge crew. Linda should know better, not after all the heartache she knows, but her eyes still follow him, watch and stare for a moment. Just a moment before she’s smiling back to her table mates. She does that, she knows, but it has to be nothing. There was still that gaping empty feeling left in her chest when she marched out of Marshall’s apartment. BUT Linda has eyes, and she sees him, Leonard Mccoy. His southern charm might be something after all. Except she needed it to be nothing.

Part of their friendship, their thing, comes in the form of sitting in his office on the floor together. Today, he’s inviting her in because she’s been struggling all day. Tired from the work, and then there’s her heartbreak, memories coming back to her. She hadn’t intended on tearing up in his office, sitting in front of his couch and telling him about Georgie. ❝ I never had a best friend quite like her, and I had only known her since Starfleet Academy ⸻ She could make an entire room brighten up, smile and laugh even the saddest state of that room. We needed, my god, that ship and everyone needed her. I need her. I wished I had met her sooner in life. God, Leonard, I miss her, I ⸻  I know she would tell me now, Carter, you can’t go fussing about me. Go make friends, live life, get married, help people dammit. Put yourself out there on the god-fucking star map. Excuse my French. ❞ She hadn’t even realized she had called him Leonard, but when they were in here, just being friends who listened to each other than why wouldn’t they use their names?

She hasn’t talked about Georgie, at all, not in a while. Linda had put all her feelings in jars on the shelf, and now she’s opening them with Leonard. It messes with her heart a little, trusting him and leaning into him as she does, processes again a loss she hadn’t been over thinking about.

There’s more than just Georgie feelings being felt there; after all, her best friend had been responsible for her dating her ex-fiancé. They talk for about her previous ship, about Georgie a lot more, and Marshall comes up which he asks about Dr Michelis because he was supposed to be aboard as well, and with her. She’s curt about him, that they had been together as that is what would have been on their transfer documents, a couple. It’s over, all over now, and here she was. ❝ I am glad to be on this ship, and I hope the ship is glad I am here as well, Chief. ❞ Is it, are you, her eyes wanting to ask.

FLASH BACK

DARK EYES, ALMOST LIKE VOIDS, HOVER OVER HER. A part of her wants to shove his face aside, but another part of her shivers as Jack’s lips part in that smile that he’s always got on. Wants those lips to be all over her. Her hand does go up to his face, he is turning his head and kissing at her thumb. WE ARE GONNA BE LATE. Yeah, she definitely wanted to shove at his face now, but she doesn’t.

❝ And whose fault would that be, Jack Tryon? ❞ She quips, and maybe her hands are dragging down to his chest because he was hers for the taking; and Linda thinks he was being ridiculous.  WELL, YOURS. ❝ Well, I wasn’t going to have you meet my parents. ❞ She admits to him honestly, with a smile and there’s no wound on his face to that.

They knew what this was. She was in her residency, in the same place that she had always been, and he was a ship doctor, always on the move except when the ship was currently dry docked with about fifty some crew working on this or that. It would be like that for three months, then it would be leaving again, and that is JACK came into the bar she was at one night.

He thought he was a hot shot, and they fell into bed without much work needed. Really, she had been stressed because her attending had been pulling her hairs out all week over everything. He was easy, and Linda just needed the stress relief. Jack’s all charm, and a little older, and she thinks that being on a ship for so long has led him to lose his mind because he asks to be hers for a limited time. She really thinks that he did lose it, but then she must be losing her mind too when he’s showing up everyday to pick her up, get a drink, and only some nights follow her home. Pretend like he’s the perfect boyfriend, and don’t you still have work yourself mister, she asks.

Linda definitely knows that she must have been insane as well to agree to whatever this was between them. One day, Jack points out that the natural thing for a couple as involved in them was to introduce him to her parents. ❝ And what about yours? ❞ He takes the two plants in the room, and holds them up, gives them little voices to his parents.

Jack was a good laugh; and she does introduce him to her parents. It’s a laugh, with her mother asking her father if he could perform a wellness check on their daughter to be so fast with him and she doesn’t know a thing about him. Tag’s the one who points out, and God the things that kid says sometimes, that she’s advertising her sex toy. What’s a seventeen-year-old know about that?

Jack was a nightmare after hearing that, they don’t even get into doing anything that night because she can’t stop laughing. Making fun of what Taggart said, and all she thinks is Jack’s a good friend. Great for a laugh, but they never talked about anything serious. She needed that if they were going to be real.

TIME MOVES FORWARD

Growing older, birthdays didn’t feel as though they had mattered much. They never really had, when there was always more on her plate. That wasn’t to say that Linda wasn’t proud of her age, that she didn’t wear the lines that would form on her face as she showed her maturity with pride. She did. Forty was the next threshold in her life to cross. She’s made herself comfortable on the ship over these ten months. It was starting to feel like her place that she was meant to be, faces becoming recognizable. It was a marvel to simply be tending to people, to be their doctor, familiar and kind. The Enterprise became home, took her on this journey, to new and unknown places with good people. It’s exciting, and its different work than the Solace but she was liking all the same.

There’s someone that comes to mind these past few days that gives her an old feeling of a good friend, of a best friend. He’s got green eyes, tall, sarcastic wit, and Southern charm. The Chief Medical Officer has become what Linda would say is her best friend, and she would know what one of those felt like from Georgie and even a little bit from Jack. Leonard’s something else, and what was she to do about the other feeling? They fall into place, work side by side well together, share odd hour chats in his office. Although he’s been a terrible influence on her own bedside manners, especially when Clint’s come in to make his wisecracks, she’ll snip right back like Leonard does or visibly roll her eyes at him.

Which if she already feels this way about him, why wouldn’t she feel more? Shouldn’t she have seen it coming that her friend, who could look at a file and see when her birthday was, make a big deal about it. It’s what for friends were for, would do, they were just friends, to make each other feel special and take care of each other. So why did it throw her heart for skipped beat when he surprises her for her fortieth birthday.

You are not going to cry, Carter, put those feelings back on the shelf. Linda’s all smiles at the room of people, through the festivities and being celebrated which feels different than the last celebrations had without her best friend, Georgie; but maybe Leonard’s been left for her to be that her best friend now. It’s sweet to do any of this, when she would have settled just fine for well wishes and nothing more. Yet he went and did this, and she bickers with him at the end of the party about going to bed. As it becomes just the two of there, Linda notices something about that, about him, then his green eyes, and his smile.

Leonard’s telling her to go enjoy a good night of rest after her birthday party. That shouldn’t make her tear up, and maybe one of jars had come off the shelf without meaning to. Her feelings were being had and felt, and he only makes it worse on her heart because he had to be sincere, worried at the tears. ❝ I ⸻ No, I’m amazing, this was. . . . you’re, thank you so much for this, and being my friend. ❞ My best friend, and she knows that looking at him that she’s let her heart get away from her again. Should have kept it in its jar, left it to the highest shelf, because she can’t go crushing on (falling for) her superior officer, for another doctor when she’s. . . . ❝ Turn in early too for once, Mccoy! That’s my birthday wish. ❞

FLASH BACK

Her finger moves in a slow circle over a bare chest, and she had gotten into this habit. Linda was focused on her courses at the Starfleet Academy and maybe she had been foolish to think that Jack would show up again out of the blue after years. They hadn’t been anything, but he had left her thinking and now here she was late night with another doctor. He outranks her, technically an authority on her but not for another two years would they be working with each other.

A finger goes up her back, shiver along her spine, and she doesn’t even know what she likes about him. He’s arrogant. She rejected him three times, but then the fourth time he asks, she says once. Linda rejects his offers and attempts at guidance in all things Starfleet. This non-relationship, all it really was Linda being shown around San Francisco and sleeping with him. That ONCE was eight months ago now. ❝ You shouldn’t lie to a doctor. ❞ She could tell that there was something on his mind, that he was lying about being absolutely fine.

They talk in soft voices, and she doesn’t kiss him when they part in bed. It’s how they were, he’s dry and dark, and she’s got Starfleet dreams in front of her. They aren’t so affectionate with each other. She had her life to be focusing on, and so she gets up, to dress herself and get back to her roommate.

GET A DRESS AND JOIN ME TONIGHT

❝ You want to show off your new girlfriend? ❞  She asks tying her hair up, and he tells her not to flatter herself and then she leaves him to his bed. If there’s a smile to her face, she can lie and say it’s a number of other things than Stephen Strange wanting to show off his girlfriend.

TIME MOVES FOWARD

❝ I am going to try pulling a page from Mr. Barton’s book, Chief ❞   Linda begins to chide softly as she is pulling him aside the moment that he was aboard the ship again. His arm had been stuck in a torpedo, of which they only recently found out what was inside of them much to everyone’s shock and some’s horror. Her hands are gentle on his arm, and she can breathe a little easier now that he’s in her sight and seemingly fine. ❝ And apply some humor to defuse a tense situation. ❞

She was worried about him, and the doctor isn’t going to curb her own personal feelings for once with that. ❝ You got your arm stuck, what were you thinking? That you were Jim? ❞  Her eyes search his face, and this whole thing has been one of the more stressful and he could have ended up a blast stain if he and Dr Marcus had been a second slower in what they had been doing. ❝ Lapse of judgement like Clint always has? ❞ 

Broken skin, bruising, and it could have been a lot worse. She actually feels her chest go tight at the thought of that, and he catches her holding her breath. She exhales, ❝ You’ll be okay, Chief, no death or amputation. This should help. ❞ Linda gets him with the hypospray, adjusted for painkiller and for boosting natural bruise healing.

Even putting aside the feelings that cause her heart rate to raise when he’s close, he had become her best friend. To which she knew she wasn’t his, and that’s fine. He was the closest friend she had aboard of the ship, and to lose him or to have something happen to him. . . . Her heart couldn’t take that again. Linda couldn’t lose him, as her friend or as the guy she won’t make a move on. He’s not looking anyways.

FLASH BACK

She’s a fresh-faced medical student, and she’s already a quick study (how could she not be her father is head of the cardiac department on the base’s main hospital) and performing top of her marks. Linda was polarizing, liked and disliked in equal measure but she kept herself none the wiser to any who looked on at her.

Except that she would be blind or a fool, if she didn’t notice how one of the doctor’s eyes followed her. She knew most of the people here, after all she was a Carter and at least a quarter of the doctors and professors she was now studying under would appear around her father’s poker table for a night of cards and gin. A table she’s visited and been at since she was little. Linda knew why others were jealous of her, it was because she had that leg up.

This doctor was unfamiliar to her, and his eyes follows her around every corner that she turns. It would go on like this for weeks, until one day she would turn a corner and march right over to him to request he either give her his name or stop looking at her so intensely. STEVE STUART.  He gets called away right as they finally get somewhere, and she shouts her name at him, Steve looking back to her twice more before he has to turn the corner and look away.

Steve Stuart doesn’t stop with his staring; in fact, he keeps looking at her, but they never seem to catch more than a moment to say anything to the other than the first word that comes out at hello. She’s a medical student, in her twenties, but that doesn’t make her naïve. It’s not as though she doesn’t get why anyone would be looking at someone like he looks at her. Linda knows she was a pretty face, but she’s been focused on degree, on becoming a doctor that her family could be proud of. THEY WERE ALREADY PROUD. It's more that she had a legacy name to live up to and Linda couldn’t let anyone or herself down. The young Carter was focused and not looking back.

One afternoon, she manages to shave off a few extra minutes, having figured out when Steve Stuart does rounds and get a look at him herself; her friend Gwen was right that he was something to look at, good looking. She doesn’t know him though, but she could if someone makes the change from looking to talking. When he catches her looking at him now, he waves with a smile and Linda decides she going to take the chance to go over. ❝ So, what are you looking at? ❞

YOU. I ALWAYS THOUGHT ALL THE ANGELS WERE UP IN HEAVEN.

❝ You know that is not as smooth as you think, Steve Stuart; you’ll have to get to know me first. ❞

Doctor Steve Stuart asks her out than and there, much to the thrill of her friends, Dolly and Gwen. They both thought he was cute, but it goes nowhere from there after a few dates because neither of them find the time for each other more than sparing cursory looks. Their schedules never lined up more than a few minutes. Things like that happen; she was focused on her future in medicine, and he was always more interesting in looks than in person. They’d always have their looks until she doesn’t notice him looking anymore; or maybe she stopped looking, stopped caring to notice.

At least someone did something, so she could know his name.

TIME MOVES FORWARD

Truthfully, she could have joined in the rest of the crew; gotten apartments and rooms, request shore leaves approved or denied by Commander Spock and go home. Yet there was nothing on Earth for her; there were only ex-somethings that she thought little of now. Her thoughts, her eyes, she had been elsewhere, and she’s moved on now. There wasn’t anything here but a Chief Medical Officer that she was worried about; deep in his grief, consumed with the death and recovery of Captain James T. Kirk.

That’s who he was looking at, Jim Kirk, and who he was losing sleep and skipping meals over. Linda watches him stay awake for hours, stay in the room longer than everyone else and refuse their insistence that he go and get some rest; that he leaves the monitoring of the comatose Captain with one of the other physicians on staff in this facility or from the staff of the Enterprise. He didn’t, and Linda knew what she had to do. She had to step in, force him out of the room whether he liked her afterwards or not.

Linda stood her ground, entering the room once she sees three of the bridge crew leave the room. There were a few, feeble attempts to speak to him over the last few days; trying to pull him away from where he was looking. His eyes are on the monitors, on the captain’s unconscious form and he’s going to fall ill from this if Leonard continues like he does. It was all that he was doing was this, trying to play God, bring his best friend back to life, and why can’t he look anywhere else in the room; listen to anyone else?

She’s worried about him immensely, takes up much of her own thoughts, and then she knows this scene suddenly. Georgie sick and dying, laying in a bed for weeks, and a cure that worked came in the difference of a few weeks. All coming too late. Georgie rejected medical care too early, something she had always felt, always thought. A doctor and their best friend; she’s stood in this room and been in his shoes. Never use Georgie’s name in vain. It’s only been a few years since her best friend’s passing.

It's a last-ditch attempt to get her friend to take care of himself before he destroys himself, what feels like a final effort to get him to look at her now. ❝ You are going to leave this room and you going to lie down, somewhere. I don’t care if it’s in the damn hallway, you have a pulse, lungs functioning, all interior processes are there and there’s brain activity. Jim’s alive. ❞ Her tone is voice is severe, because Linda doesn’t use Georgie’s name lightly. He’d know this. ❝ Your friend is going to wake up, I would have torn myself to tatters and shreds to keep Georgie alive. That wasn’t in her wishes, you aren’t going to say goodbye like I did to her. So out of this room, sleep three hours and eat something; than ⸻ ❞  Than Leonard can come back to this, and she’ll keep watching Leonard from the sidelines until something changes.

FLASH BACK

All things come to an end; and they already knew this was coming. Linda would say, at the least, she was fond of Jack but there’s something different about him, in the last two days before he’s supposed to board back on his ship and leave forever. She should have guessed that it would happen.

Life isn’t a romance novel, of second chances and surprise meetings and of resolving and confessing one’s feelings. It wasn’t like the stories of whirlwind romance that last a lifetime like her mother would write about. Jack felt like that; a character out of Doreen Carter’s novels meant to come relieve all her stresses and worries, make her feel more than enough, experience love, and last forever.

This was all plainer than that, she was working on her residency and wondering what was going to be next. Was life always going to be here? And then he’s a Starfleet doctor whose ship was in dry dock for only three months, and leaving today.

Saying goodbye was going to be that, simple, and she could say that with a smile as the words leave. He was fun, a romance novel come to life, but what did she know about him? Nothing, as much as she doesn’t think that he really saw her for who she was. It’s a fling. A short-lived friendship. Fun. What do you say, that’s what his eyes and lips were asking of her.

❝ Well, goodbye, right? That’s what we say. ❞ Linda tells him, pulling away from the hug and Jack’s got funny face put on.

“ Linda, I, you ⸻ ”  There it is, she thinks she knows what he could say. Proclamation of feelings, confession about why he did this or why her, tell her that something has changed for him. She had thought that he had done this because he had have been out of his mind, or dying, or lost; that he needed someone or something. That wasn’t going to be her, this was a three-month fling. Nothing more than that.

❝ Goodbye, Jack, you were fun to TRYON for a while. ❞  See, she remembers how he used his last name like a line, and it made her laugh, roll her eyes whenever he’s used it with her.

He chokes for a moment, on his words on what he was going to say to her; changes his mind on whatever he was going to confess, to say and thinks better of it, agrees with Linda. One more moment, and Jack’s composed himself. ” Carter, you’re gonna make someone really lucky one day. “  Just not him. Linda rolls his eyes at him, because she wasn’t thinking about that, but she’ll grace him with a smile. “ Well, than I guess this is good bye. ”

TIME MOVES FORWARD

AND SHE KNOWS HIM. Linda sees him now, listens as he sounds worn down by the year, by a single day, and then the last two weeks. His heart worn down focused on someone unavailable. She knows that feeling. Over the year, Leonard and Linda have given each other bits and pieces of each other so they knew each other. They’d done a lot, over the year, to let the other in, to see each other and to know. She watched his face fall, and she won’t regret sticking around, or the way she feels for him in that moment, and then in this moment as they sit in his apartment.

The whiskey still feels like it’s burned her throat, but he had been eyeing it with guilt; that he had swallowed too much, and Linda’s met enough people in her lifetime, to know the different walks of life to recognize the alcoholics and addicts; and Leonard she knew about, he told her too, about himself, which mattered all the more.

Linda’s here because she cares, because he could use the friend and they know enough to trust each other and Linda’s not leaving him alone. When she’s done talking, she listens to him, and it all starts to make sense. There’s a twinge, a squeeze to her chest, but her face won’t show her reactions. Linda just holds his face in her hands, holds his head and leans into his shoulder shows him that she was listening as intently, with the whole of her person.

Greens meeting green, unflinching and not judging as he chokes on words, swallows and looks away from her because the weight of his words are too much to share, to bear, so scarcely shared for him. He was carrying around so much, the loss of Pike, the day’s events and crewman lost, feelings for Jim, and then Jim dying, listening to Jim wake up to thanking Spock while he stood to the side today, and lastly drinking past his limits. Lastly, not being able to go to and share that with Clint, the friend he got sober with.

I KNEW I NEEDED TO BUT I COULDN’T, INSTEAD I DRANK

How her heart aches as he tells, sobs, he can’t handle these two weights at once, dealing with his deep feelings about Jim, toward Jim, for Jim (which maybe she knew, and she won’t admit she knows his feelings better than a listening ear, knows what it means to feel and look at someone and it is not the same, that was how some friendships were) and then drinking more than he allowed himself; why he drank and how much he drank. Linda knew that Leonard and Clint were close, and now she knew why. They got sober together, and now he’s broken that. She tries to hold his gaze as he moves to look away.

❝ Who’s disappointed in you? He won’t be, and I am certainty not disappointed. ❞ Be nicer to my friend, she thinks about him, and Linda can’t know the intricacies that he was feeling; ❝ It sounds like you’re the only one disappointed with yourself. ❞ How she knows that she cares for him greater than friendship. She could do this for anyone as a good doctor, even as a friend, console the weary. However, Linda knew she wouldn’t hold someone quite like this, look at anyone like she was looking at him.  

It all aches a little like that.  

FLASH BACK

He took her back, as she came to him feeling weary and worn, taking her best friend’s words to heart. If she could have waited a week, two more weeks, only a little more time and then she could have had Georgie here too. Linda won’t admit that she begged and that she had been wrong, and she was sorry for yelling; and she needed him, she would need him, and she loved him. It was one very bad day, one very bad night, that was all. Linda’s sorry and he was right about her; and Georgie’s help screwed her head back on the right way.

And Georgie passes, and then it wasn’t long after that they got the serum right, the vaccine, and things would change. That’s how that year had went, with her being engaged to Marshall, and he did hold her through losing her friend and he loved her, and she did love him. Linda loved him almost as much as she loved Georgie, and now he was the person she loved most (well, she still loved her career more and helping people; being needed by people). She had needed him, because that was a loss that wore down on her for months and would wear on her for many more years to come, she was sure.

The Solace is delayed in returning home, there’s been a situation an additional six months they had been away from port. The Captain and the Chief took stock of the crew and medical team; they were tired but willing, spirits not broken. They went to help, and then they could go home.

Linda’s in their shared quarters, reading a book as she waited for Marshall, they would be back on Earth soon and she would go home with him. They had topics to discuss, related to the ship’s return because these four years on the ship had worn on long for her fiancé. Linda saw he was unhappy, so maybe it was the ship, emergency and crisis, dealing with the sick that would be a lot for anyone. Linda’s toughened up because of this, but maybe Marshall hadn’t at all.

❝ We don’t have to stick with the same ship or assignment, we could transfer to one of the science ships; that could be a nice change of pace. ❞ She suggests to him, when she’s gotten him sitting with her and reaching to take his hand, to start the discussion about what would be next for and that’s where the disconnect starts to happen between them. His fingers go to toy with a notably barren spot on her ring finger, with which she knows what he was doing.

Knew what would be coming up next from his lips, so she moves to kiss him first before he can speak. When were they going to get married? ❝ Just something to consider before we even get back on the ground, and you know that I do want to marry you. ❞  That didn’t feel like a lie, because she did. Linda loved Marshall, and she would be his wife, and they would go everywhere together, everywhere that she was looking forward at. He would be right along at her side, focused on study and research, and wasn’t this what he signed up for?

He makes that sigh, looks her in the eye like she isn’t getting it and maybe she wasn’t, and it wasn’t enough, and she wasn’t enough. Looking so far forward, at what was next because she would be giving up being on ship with the people who have become her friends and family after four years; saw each other through the hardest parts of crisis. Linda was giving that up because this wasn’t working for Marshall and she saw that, but she wasn’t stopping at what she was, who she was; being on a starship and being a doctor. It’s too much of Linda now to stop after one starship, one assignment. She would give up the Solace as home, the crew as family, for Marshall to find a better place for both of them.

❝ We’ll keep talking, and I’ll handle all that ⸻ okay, I love you, Marshall, come on, I’ll show you how much ❞

TIME MOVES FORWARD

It only takes them an hour longer before she manages to get Leonard out of his apartment, off the floor, and gotten him to finish a glass of water. Linda puts on a smile, it can be hard to do that and to be disappointed with yourself, to be coping and dealing with loss; she’s dealt with a lot, and she knows that at some point forward had to be looked at and it would take a lot longer after these last two weeks. She can smile for the both of them, look forward.

Linda knows what it was like to feel that way, to feel alone, to feel not enough; but now she’s got her head on her shoulders screwed on the right way. She knows how to sweep herself off the floor, and right now he needed the hand in getting up off that floor. A good start to dealing with everything was to start at the beginning of the day and that meant breakfast. Linda holds out her arm for him, holds out her hand for him and they would go find somewhere to have breakfast. ❝ Come on, we’ll walk together. ❞

She figures that was as good as any of a way to start, to help Leonard carry on and her heart may ache for him, over him; and there’s a lot more she knows about him that she will think about. Later, she’ll think about herself and that later, right now he mattered more. He’s barely eaten more than he absolutely had to, and almost had a whole whiskey bottle. Leonard needed food, rest, to breath and find something to focus on. Smile a little.

❝ We’ll find a place that serves toast and jams, that’s always been my cure after terribly awful night. I’d sit at the breakfast table with Tag, and we’d eat an entire stack of toast until our stomachs felt like bursting and try a different flavor of jam on each slice. ❞

Then they would carry on with the day, then the week, and figure everything else after that. She would have to figure out what she was going to be doing with her time, where she would be staying while the ship was in repairs. They’ll talk about that over breakfast, what to think about forward and start figuring out how to heal.

FLASH BACK

Her things are being packed, how this had happened that she would end up with him where her things would migrate from her apartment with Georgie than end up in Stephen Strange’s. It was better this way; she’s telling herself as the feeling of anger and shame follows after her, because she would be graduating from Starfleet this year and she wanted to take an assignment on a starship; and it was like the relationship with Jack except this one had lasted longer. It would have to end. However, it had gone on long enough that they were going to have admit there was feelings between the two of them. At least, for Linda, as it turns out.

However, that was where she was feeling like a fool for making a home in his sanctuary and laying on his chest after they had sex, talking in whispers when they found the time and she’d dress up for him; be on his arm and shown off as his new girlfriend. Caring for him, and for them.

Now there was a Clea Strange at his door, that he hadn’t ever mentioned before, and Linda had better things to do with her time; better places to be. Linda’s marks at the Academy were all at the top, and she should keep it that way and it’d be easier without being the other woman. She wasn’t even the only other woman; she was just the one who. . . . She doesn’t even know what she was to him if anything; he gave her names, they were Sherlock and Watson, and they had their things, and now all she thinks is that she was a fool to him.

Clea’s sweet, talks to her and tells her that they had been separated, and Linda being there hadn’t hurt her. She left him because of his infidelities, because he couldn’t handle his problems and it doesn’t help Linda. So, what was she? His next mid-life crisis? She was a lot better than that. Clea’s incredibly sweet to help her, and they talk more than she expected. Clea’s the estranged wife of Stephen Strange, but Linda’s not a fan of feeling like the mistress, and what was Clea doing back anyway?

That catches on Clea’s face, and Linda doesn’t need her to answer. Oh, well, she missed him, and she wanted to give him a chance. Linda was evidence he hasn’t changed much in the time she had left. Clea smiles to her, gives her a squeeze to her hand and tells her that she owes her, if there was anything she ever needed than she could call either of them.

Linda thanks her, and she doesn’t know why when the wife feels like a slap in her face. It would be later when she’s back at her apartment with Georgie; that she would be angry and hurt. Be in hysterics like she hasn’t before, but most of that comes from feeling like a fool and being disappointed with herself.

TIME MOVES FORWARD

Linda was going to stay with some of the crew who were in the same boat as her, not sure where she was going, and her home wasn’t here on Earth; and it’d be lonely to explore the planet by herself anyway. She thinks that right now was the first moment that she has been alone, truly alone, sitting with herself and she’s requested the same amount of shore leave as everyone else, but she wouldn’t even be leaving the port of San Francisco, until. . . .

Leonard Mccoy catches her, and he looks like he’s been getting some rest now and clearing of his head. OH, heart sings at his sights. It’s good to see that after the last few weeks, feels good to see him in a better-looking state. He’s got something to ask her, which wasn’t what she was expecting from him with where he was going finding her and what he had to say. Linda’s got the words on her lips, rolling over her tongue and ready to release as much as she knows the pang it causes in her chest. WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR? She would say if he thanked her. Leonard was her best friend, and so of course, she was going to care and be there for him. Linda would do that without question.

There was a thank you, but that’s not the only thing that he had come to her to say, had come to her to ask. He’s telling her how he was going home, to Georgia, he needed some Jojo time, and he was inviting her to come, that he’d like for her to join him on the leave. She hadn’t any plans, she had confessed with laughs because she wouldn’t be one of the ones going home or seeing her family. Her friends the Academy were in different places, the only people in this city were ex-somethings if they were still here. Her family was on a whole Starbase in another quadrant of space, far away.

Linda can’t quell the feeling that bubbles up when he asks to come, because its time and closeness with him, and she says yes without much of a thought. So, she’ll take the time off with him than. Go with him, and like that she had a place to go, it may not be her home, but it was with her dearest friend and his friends, though Peter and Clint were closer to friends for her as well, and she would love to meet the family that he has talked about.

On the way there, she sits with him. Looks at him when he’s not looking, and she’s endeared by the fact that Clint and Peter were joining them on this leave. There are feelings that swell in her stomach, churn in chest, that were familiar and unfamiliar in equal measures. It’s a contrast seeing him now to a few weeks ago. And maybe he’s told Clint and maybe he hasn’t yet; to sitting on his apartment floor and listening to him heartbroken (how her heart cracked in the same ways in sympathy) over what he and the pilot shared that he had broken; the disappointment in himself.

Sitting here with the three of them, Leonard talking with Clint. Watching that was why she liked Leonard, that was what she had liked him for, that he was bringing them too and opening his home, his family, taking this time with them. It had meant a lot to Linda, to see that was who he was. Inviting.

Georgia is a good time, and Jojo’s a sweet kid. She’s always been good with kids, the whole family joked she raised baby brother Tag herself; Linda always wore being an older sister as her proudest achievement. She likes Georgia, seeing another side of Leonard and meeting the Mccoys made her feel like she was home with the Carters. It’s going to be awful on her heart, isn’t this? It’s not going to help with the thoughts that she needs to be letting go, moving on, and accept that she would be happy to live in friendship with him.

One night, it was just the two of them enjoying the night air and she was at his side, and she tears up. How many times is she going to cry with Leonard? There are tears because she hadn’t a place to go and he invited her to come with him to his place to go, opened his home and family. Linda hadn’t seen her family in person in a long while, hasn’t been on Starbase 515 since four years of academy, four years on the Solace, and then she boarded the Enterprise. He doesn’t know how much it means to her, doesn’t know what being hugged in his arms means for her either.

Say something, say something, say something and she doesn’t. What holds her tongue is not something that Linda think about.

On the trip from Georgia back to the Enterprise’s port, she was sitting next to him again and there’s chatter around them, but she’s quiet. Her eyes on a book, green gaze throwing glances to Leonard now and again, and she has to say it, right? She has to admit this, at least once, because she feels it in her chest; like she has never felt before with anyone else. Her lips don’t move, her voice doesn’t make a sound at all. Nothing moves, none of it comes out, and he is none the wiser to her thoughts or feelings. Linda can’t avoid admitting that after the weeks in Georgia with him and doing nothing about her feelings were small or ever to go away, that she has to say it to herself at the very least.

She has to say it to herself first, admit it to her person and acknowledge the feeling; know it and then she should think about saying that thing. She could go about no longer just looking at him, and noticing how her friend, best friend, was someone more than that; and maybe Linda wanted to give herself, give the old heart in the jar another chance. Tell him, make the change, sink or swim; but first she has to say to herself anyway.

Linda looks at him, pretends to know what she was laughing along with as she thinks, as she feels it that she has FALLEN IN LOVE with Leonard Mccoy, and oh how she LOVES HIM DEARLY already as a friend and it is felt more than that.

They’ll get back on the ship soon, get back into the work rhythm, and when things feel healed after what happened with Khan and Admiral Marcus. All settled down than Linda will think about what she does with her feelings. What does she do with them? Give it time, and maybe she’ll figure it out. Risk telling him.

FLASH BACK

THIS WAS THE WORST FEELING. She’s never known a heartbreak like this one; and Linda felt herself break when she knew she failed and found herself responsible for a patient’s life being lost that first time. Thirty-eight lives lost under her care the first week that they were here, and yet that was nothing to this feeling now that she didn’t know what to do with.

Now she knows what happens when people don’t know what to do with their feelings. She didn’t know what to do with herself or with hers. Marshall wanted to marry her, but than his words hurt and cut her deep; left her feeling beaten down when she was already kicked to the ground.

Georgie hadn’t been avoiding her for. . . . Georgie had been avoiding her because she had gotten sick, and it got to her quick, and she’s been lying in a hospital bed, wanting to hide this from her. Dying alone, and Linda can’t yell at her, for the stupid decisions to do that, for dying. Linda wants to know why she wants to feel it all, no medicine, and die in that way. What the hell was she thinking?

Her heart was breaking in two ways, and she didn’t think that was possible for it to be torn to shreds. Some doctors put their feelings away and some keep them, and she wants to throw hers up as she enters; finds herself sick as she sees her friend not looking her best.

If the hours of argument with Marshall left her dry, empty of all her tears, voice aching and weak; simply seeing her best friend like this had left her completely filled to the brim with tears and they were already spilling over. Linda holds her hand in hers, touches her gloved hand to her cheeks and asks her what she could do for her, and she can’t help herself; what happened and how? That spills her lips as loosely as her tears flowed. Why and then what the hell are you thinking?

She begs her to hold on, and then Georgie shakes her head; maybe she’ll help beat this, her dying being the key to figuring out the cure to this mutation (it was like a living learning creature). They talk about everything after that; and then Linda is telling Georgie that she thinks she was single now, and how Marshall was going to propose.

That she was so tired, and hurt, and angry; doesn’t even get to telling her friend what they had argued about, all the nasty things that both of them had said to each other. Georgie tells her that she had helped Marshall out with that, and she was glad to hear that he was going through with it; that he had wanted to go through with asking her. She knew weeks before, and she asks Linda if she could salvage this. Georgie thought that they looked good as a couple, and that must be a nice thing to be wanted and needed and loved like Linda was.

It was Georgie who tells her that she still had her chances, that she could go and salvage it. Apologize, because people needed people and she wasn’t going to have Georgie anymore. How it all hurt. Linda didn’t know what to do, and she’s asking her what to do with her feelings, with Marshall, and everything because knowing she was losing her best friend wasn’t helping her. She listens to her, every word Georgie says, and it’s her guide as she goes back tail between her legs to salvage her relationship with Marshall. You loved him after all.

Watching Georgie go, day by day. It was the hardest thing Linda had been through. And then the doctors, the scientists figure out the serum, the right treatments and cure but it’s all too late.

FLASH FORWARD

Time passes on, and Georgia is still on her mind, and time continues on that. The ship’s been repaired, most of the events they all went through swept under the rug and a new truth is spun. Beyond the dead, there are crew who leave the ship and so there are new faces aboard the Enterprise, all required to pass through the medical bay and be seen by the Chief or any one of his staff. They’ll come to know them, as they would be out on a five-year mission and that felt like a high honor.

It is slow the first few weeks to find the new rhythm of things, but things were healing as all things do and start to resume back to the pace that she had gotten used to over the past year and months on this ship. She’s glad to be here, to be a part of this crew.

Today was a quiet day, the chance to take a breath and her eyes find herself looking at the familiar faces, processing everything all over again. Georgia the place, being there with him and what she had realized, what she admitted to herself about her feelings for Leonard, and Georgie the person was on her mind as well when her eyes settle down on Leonard Mccoy in conversation with Ms Carol Danvers across the medbay.

Okay, what am I doing here, Georgie?

Let’s break this down, so what is going on?

AFFLICATION: okay, starting from there. It’s my heart and not the kind of issues that I studied in medical school. See him over there. Leonard Mccoy. Chief Medical Officer. Are you hearing the problem? Another doctor, are you keeping count of how many that is for me? Along with he is my Chief Medical Officer, remember Stephen and technically Steve could have been in charge of me too. Weird how it was those two, and Marshall was older than me, and ranked higher. I’m not even done, the affliction is in my heart; I like him and maybe I’ve already fallen for him more than that, in love or love him. I’ve never liked my mother’s poetry, but I could think in poetry about him.

So, you have a type, you always knew what you wanted, Linda.

Not now. Not now do I. Stephen and Marshall broke my heart. Torn me down. I don’t know if I want to handle that. If I can handle that again.

What makes you think it will be the same thing as all the rest?

VARIABLE: Well, he is divorced? I know that doesn’t really bother me, but I have to count all the facts. Alcoholic, which doesn’t bother me either. We all have our things, and mine is this right here. My last two relationships ended, and Marshall was right about all the things he said about me. I am too focused on what I want, and I love moving forward, I love being a doctor and challenge. I fell in love with being Starfleet actually, and it’s hard but it’s exciting. Okay, okay, so I could screw it up. Really screw it up, I do that. Great doctor, terrible girlfriend. He could want something from me that I can’t give. I couldn’t be whatever Jack wanted me to be, too short of a time to know him, and I don’t know what Stephen wanted me for. Marshall wanted a wife, and I kept prolonging that. It never happened. I’m not enough, and what if he wants something; or he asks me later down the line to chose him. God, I really think he's incredible Georgie, and I am in too deep, and I don’t know what to do. The rug could be swept out from under me, it always does when my heart runs away from me. Tell me what to do, Georgie.

Come on, Linda, you always know; you don’t need me to tell you.

P.O.A: No, I really don’t know what to do, there’s no plan of action here. I know that I should say something or try to move on. I could try, but then I love his and mine’s friendship too, and maybe sometimes that isn’t worth the risk. You chose to die quicker and in pain. Was that worth it? My two options are saying something or nothing. Move on or not, maybe just living in these feelings and friendship is enough. I thought he might have said something, once, but. . . . Maybe I should just give up.

Linda inhales, holds her breath for a moment before she lets out a sigh, looking away from the man at the other end and looks back down to what she was doing; engages herself in conversation with the nurse on duty and shakes her head to get the thoughts out of her mind to carry on. She was still figuring it out.

FLASH BACK

Linda doesn’t understand what was happening. As she was telling Marshall about all the things that they to do now that they were shipping out, on their new assignment, the Enterprise, and they needed to get their security clearance for going aboard among other things. She’s abuzz actually, to get back to working and caring for people. This all mattered to her, and it was the start of the next great adventure, and it will be with her Marshall at her side, and he must be looking forward to this as well.

NO.

❝ I am sure by moments before we are on board, you will be as well, dear. ❞  That doesn’t change his expression, which wasn’t readable to her as she’s putting her things down with confusion on her face.

❝ Well, when ⸻ ❞

WE AREN’T GOING. 

Hold on, what that was a load of bullshit. They got their assignment for the Enterprise, they’ve been jumping through the necessary requirements for boarding any starship and ⸻ what? What was going on? What did he know, and why hadn’t she heard anything?

❝ No, we are. Nothing’s changed. ❞

DO YOU WANT TO MARRY ME?

❝ I ⸻ of course, I do. . . ? I do want to be your wife, Marshall, we aren’t starting this again. You know that I ⸻ ❞

WE AREN’T GOING. QUIT. QUIT WITH ME. MARRY ME NOW AND WE MOVE TO BUENOS AIRIES. WE COULD GO TOMORROW.

That gets Linda getting up on her feet, a panic rising up in her chest because that has not been what the plan was yesterday, and they go out in less than a week. This can’t just happen like that, was he sick or ⸻ she was short for answers. She goes to open the door to their balcony, going to look out and get her breathing under control, try to figure out what was going on here and process her feelings as they were coming to her.

YOU CAN’T BE MY WIFE AND BE A DOCTOR.

He has a speech for her, so many points to be made about her, about her and him; and Linda has to admit to herself that she is barely listening. He has a whole plan, everything worked out for them, her whole plan and all she can focus on is how he wants her to quit everything, Starfleet and being a doctor. Her dreams, career, who she was being stepped on. She bites her lip, as he talks to her, talks down to her like he often does, talks like when they got engaged but Linda can’t reach inside herself, in her heart to fight back against him this time. Yell at him like they had before, like he had hurt her. She leans against the railing.

❝ I don’t understand. ❞  is all she can say when he was done talking, and she flinches again pulls her arm away and walks to the other corner of their balcony as he reaches to touch her.  Where was all of this coming from? She can’t be a wife and a doctor?

NEITHER DO I. I’M OFFERING YOU A GOOD LIFE, LINDA. YOU CAN STAY WITH ME AND NEVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING AGAIN.

His hand connects with her arm and pulls her to look at him, forces their eyes to connect and she is frowning at him, confusion and hurt in her eyes but she won’t cry or yell.

FORGET STARFLEET. FORGET MEDICINE. CHOOSE ME.

❝ Marshall, I can’t. Those people need me. ❞ Her career, her dreams, what she loved doing more than any person. She would be caring for people; a ship of that size needed its full team of doctors. Linda liked being needed as a doctor, liked her career and her role in life, in the entire universe. They were expecting her to show up. Marshall and she had talked about this, they had planned this together. She gave up returning to the Solace for him, was going to be his wife one day.

I NEED YOU. YOU WILL NEVER BE HAPPY THERE, LINDA. YOU’VE CHOSEN A VERY DIFFICULT LIFE, AND YOU’RE GOING TO BE DOING IT ALONE.

She feels alone right now, hollow too. Definitely not happy. And then there’s that word again, his favorite word to use with her was difficult. Linda stares at him, and just goes mute. What was she going to do? She had even been wearing his ring, and he sighs at her frustrated. Linda pulls away from him, quick and violent, and her hand goes to pull off his ring. She sets it down, on the little table on their balcony where she had enjoyed her morning coffees and a good book.

❝ Give me an hour and I will be out of here for good. ❞   He pinches his nose, considers what she had to say, and she follows him to their front door.

THEN IT’S GOODBYE. I JUST HOPE AND PRAY YOU’VE MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE. . . . FOR BOTH OF US.

He had to say that one last thing, to try to get under her skin. Make her doubt herself, not feel enough, and try to get her change her mind, regret it. I think you were wrong about this one, Georgie. What was she going to do? It’s not as though she has Georgie’s apartment to return to anymore.

It was like the rug was pull from under her feet. All Linda knew right now was that she was a Starfleet officer and was boarding the starship, USS ENTERPRISE, in less than a week. Actually, she needs to call to make sure that was the case and Marshall hadn’t done something about that. Her heart was breaking, and she had no idea what to do about that or with anything at the moment. WHERE TO GO UNTIL THEN?

TIME MOVES FORWARD

THE ENTERPRISE WAS HOME, THE CREW HER FRIENDS, AND THE MEDICAL TEAM HER FAMILY.

Linda’s always been qualified for field and away team, her experience from Solace has always served to be entirely valuable. She knows that the Captain had favoritism toward the Chief coming on these things, but today would be her time to shine.  Linda had looked in Leonard’s eyes with a smile to her eyes, and there is that fluttering in her chest as he expresses his concerns to be careful. Still, she hasn’t done anything about her feelings for him, and they haven’t easily gone away though as she tries as she might.

In fact, he and her have been as close as ever; maybe closer since what happened in San Francisco.

This was going to be fine, Leonard, but I will be. She meant her promise to him, truly she was being careful and intended. The civilization they had contacted, after they had hailed the Enterprise, was a matriarchy and to respect that, they were getting the lady doctor or Dr Carter instead of Dr Mccoy to aid and perform an exam.

There was something in there, that they had been missing, but no one thought of that until it was too late.

Linda’s in a room alone with a gentleman from the people here and accompanied by two women who were his bodyguards. Outside the room, on the other side of the door she had knew that Clint Barton was there while Spock and Kirk were talking with the leader of this sector.

The doctor smiles to him, holding up the tricorder for medical exams to start checking him on, and there’s something quite not right. First the talk between them was a doctor meeting a patient for the first time, but than the gentleman starts asking her questions and holding her attention from what she was supposed to be doing.

What throws her off is when he asks if she loves someone, and he specifies deeply. Linda doesn’t want to answer, but she feels complied to tell the truth with him.

❝ Yes, I do love someone deeply, dearly. ❞

He considers that and asks her if she has told them lately that she loves them.

❝ Actually ⸻ ❞ Linda, why are you being honest? ❝ I haven’t told him at all, that I love him in the way that I do. ❞ The compulsion grows as he asks why. ❝ Well, I’m a coward, just a frail and pathetic woman, and I keep planning to make my feelings known but ⸻ ❞

Without realizing it, he has started to rise to his feet asks her what his name was.

❝ Leonard Mccoy. ❞

“I will make sure someone apologizes to him than.” He moves quicker than Linda can process what was happening, a cold metal pain jets into her gut and at least she remembers to scream loud enough. Sharp jabs of pain, and where’s this blood coming from?

There’s a shout, Clint’s, and all of hell breaks loose as Linda loses all sense of what follows after that.

FLASH BACK

Good news for her, Linda would be on the Enterprise at the end of week.

As she was standing on the balcony, figuring out what the hell she was going to do and Linda thinks she should be crying. Her fiancé, a relationship she has invested years in, and had given up much for; Marshall had given her an ultimatum and left her.

This was his apartment now, so she would have to get out. Her eyes go back to the ring on the table. Linda finds herself all alone, there was interstellar communication to her family but other than that; she hadn’t seen them, and they were in another quadrant on a starbase. There was no going to them, and it has been eight years since.

Georgie was dead, has been dead, and for all she knows all her friends from Starfleet academy were on their own assignments; no one on Earth or in San Francisco. Well, there were people that started to come to mind, an owed flavor promised to her, but it has been years since that had been made. Was it even true, were they even still there? It was a long shot, but her only shot.

What the hell happened, Linda Carter? She can’t work out why she wasn’t crying, perhaps she was still in shock. That was a very likely variable. Linda does feel broken, like she wasn’t enough; it wasn’t enough to be loved and have her dreams. Could she only have one? Would she be ALONE AND UNHAPPY? Was she really choosing what was DIFFICULT? Really, was that all her personal life would ever amount to?

She can’t be crying when she meets her new crew, her new superior officer. SO, CRY NOW DAMMIT! She can’t find the tears, and the hour will be up soon, and Linda really doesn’t want to see Marshall again. CRY.  Otherwise, she would be a ticking time bomb for those tears. God, she wanted to yell at the top of her lungs because how was this happening?

Carter, you’re gonna make someone really lucky one day.

HA, YEAH, RIGHT.

A plan does start to formulate for her, in her eyes and she gathers her things that would be coming with her. It would be humiliating when she was already feeling so low if she cried when found out where she was staying, when she boards the Enterprise and meet dozens to hundreds of people.

It would be awful to break down in front of all those people, so she envisions a scalpel in hand and cut out her imaginary heart, the one that held all the feelings. There were two types of doctors, the one who put away their feelings and the ones who kept them. She would take out her poor heart, THE FOOL, which must be diseased at least at this point and put it in a jar, put it away on a shelf, and get through these next few weeks.

Linda could let her heart sit up on a top shelf, heal from its afflictions, and then when she was ready, she would take it back down; then she could feel all the feelings. Put her foolish heart back where it needed to be later, because right now she needs to compartmentalize and focus on her career, on her path ahead, on the future ahead. She’d be meeting hundreds of new people by the end of the week. She can’t go there feeling like a frail and pathetic version state of herself, with tears streaming down her face.

She would be alright, and taking out her parts right now would help if that favor was still withstanding. After all, it had been years since she had met the Stranges, since uncomfortably sitting in one of Stephen’s lectures after their breakup and wondering. She found out later, he hadn’t been faithful to her either even, along with not telling her he had a wife. Linda makes the call anyway, and it picks up, it was still them and thankfully it was Clea on the phone.

❝ You may not remember me, Mrs Strange, but it is Linda Carter. ❞

“I do remember you, is this about that favor?”

❝ Yes, actually. I am intended to ship out on a starship in less than a week, and I need to place to stay in that time. ❞

“I think we could be that place for you. That’s not too much to ask. We are still in the same place. Are you okay, or are you sure you’ll be okay?”

❝ I am fine, okay, eager to get starbound again is all, and it will be okay. I am over that, kind of had to be when he would guest lecture in some of my final year courses. I am okay. ❞

Diseased heart on the shelf and still feeling like a fool. I am difficult, I am unhappy, and I am going to end up alone.

[majinbangus]

I literally just wanted a sugar daddy/mama!au. Maybe I'll talk about sugar daddies!141 x sugar baby!reader after this. I am not an expert in sugaring, so bear w me here. readers age is not told either, but i imagine reader to be younger than price.

Times are tough; the 141 need funding the government isn't willing to cough up. Price's solution? Getting them a sugar mama.

-

You never expected your profile to be picked. It was a silly thing you signed up for in a moment of weakness when you were feeling sad and lonely, wallowing after a messy break up. You even forgot about it after a week, throwing yourself in your self-made business, working when you didn't have to, but you needed to bury yourself in it. It's no surprise you forgot all about your little profile, but it is a surprise when you see a missed inquiry from a Mr. John Price about a day old.

Hello, darling. I've never been on this side of the message before, but my boys and I don't have many options, and I needed a solution fast. I saw your profile and I think you'd be a good match for us. We're a package deal, the four of us. You don't have to pay us exactly, we just need some funding for our work. My boys and I are willing to provide you with any type of company you desire. We don't mind sharing and we take care of what's ours. There are other little details we can go more in depth later, although I might not be able to tell you everything. I'd like to hear what you have to say and any questions you may have. Hope to hear from you soon, Capt. John Price

Everything about the message is... strange... to put it kindly, but you can't help but feel this Capt. John Price is being sincere. Maybe that's a naive, lonely part of you that's convincing yourself that the message is real and not some scam. Maybe you're desperate enough to believe someone- four someone's!- actually have an interest in you.

For what you can give them, but you're not entirely innocent either. This Captain Price- you assume he's military- said he and his boys will give you what you need, and if he's a man of his word, maybe they can distract you from all the noise in your head.

You stare at the message. It wouldn't hurt to take a risk, would it? You can always block the man if he ends up being a creep.

It takes you an hour to finally work up the nerve to craft a small message back to the man. It takes less than a minute for him to respond.

Glad to hear from you, darling. I'll tell you everything you need to know.

-

The rules are simple.

You fund them with enough money each month they need it for however long they need, and they'll give you all the companionship you want. Whether that's sexual or not is up to you. It doesn't matter to them, though John informed you that if it is sexual, you would need to discuss any limits with the other men yourself. With him, you got to briefly stutter through your likes and dislikes, and he did the same, after discussing all of the rules and expectations.

You don't know if you should be thankful or not when he listened with such intense focus. Like you were briefing him on a mission or whatever it is captains like him do. It makes you nervous. He makes you nervous. Not quite in a bad way, but you've never done this before. The idea of paying another person, well this task force, in exchange for some company to fill your pathetic void feels kind of... sad.

You almost talk yourself out of this whole crazy thing, but you're also kind of curious what could come of it. If John and his boys will really be able to distract you and make you forget how lonely you are.

Being alone, being lonely, never really bothered you before, but after your last relationship... It opened up some old wounds and this sugar arrangement could be the perfect distraction. If only for a while. You'll take whatever you can get at this point.

You look over the messages John sent you, lingering over the pictures he sent of him and the other three men. Well. Two men. John told you this Simon guy would show you his face himself if he wanted to. You don't know if it's a sexual thing or not or something else entirely. You were too afraid to ask, and you don't really know if you want to know. But the other three are handsome, if the pictures John sent aren't fake.

You're still not entirely sure you should trust him. Trust that you're not gonna get all your money stolen. The site you signed up on is reputable for sugar mamas and sugar babies. You couldn't find a bad review written about it. Only positive testimonies with positive outcomes. That could be suspicious in and of itself. Hopefully, you didn't make a mistake.

John said that he would meet you next week when he had time off. Alone. In a public space, but alone. He said he didn't want the boys to overwhelm you, and you're grateful for his consideration because you would have been overwhelmed if you met all of them at once.

You still have time to cancel, if the nerves get to you and you chicken out. John even told you you could back out any time you wanted. But. You want to do something different. You need to do something different. Get yourself out of your head and focus on anything else that doesn't make your mind feel like static.

These men can help with that. This'll be good for you. Probably.

As long as this doesn't end up with you mysteriously disappearing or getting murdered, you'll be content with whatever happens. Besides, it's good to do something out of your comfort zone, and what better way than becoming a sugar mama to four military men who can give you all the company and care you could ever want? Hell, that sounds weird to think about.

There are still little things you have to work around, such as their schedules, but John promised that at least one of them would always come when you called. Already, that gives you more comfort than he could ever know, and perhaps that's foolish of you, but it truly meant a lot when he told you that.

You scroll down to the last message John sent and feel something in your gut flutter.

Can't wait to meet you, Mama.

-

this might an anthology of sorts. maybe have some loose plot to it. idk.

[velariscalling]

Morally Grey - An Azriel Imagine

Characters: Azriel x Archeron!Reader

Word Count: 3.4k

Summary: Cassian drags the IC to his new obsession: open mic night at Rita's, and much to his delight, Azriel has been paired up to sing with the Reader.

Warnings: Alcohol, suggestive language.

A/N: My first ever imagine is HERE!! Honestly I've been so nervous to put this out as it's all very new to me, but I really hope you guys enjoy it! I'm really looking forward to see how my writing develops as I post more, but for now, I hope you enjoy my first post! It's just a load of silly fun tbh. And finally, thank you so much to @sarawritestories for helping me out with the ending, you're the best! <3

Soundtrack: 'Morally Grey' by April Jai feat. Nation Haven

Disclaimer: GIF isn't mine - credit to whoever it belongs to.

Rita’s was bustling.

As it always was on a Friday night, really. They probably should have known better than to come on a weekend, but the welcoming vibrancy of the bar was a welcome reprieve from a long week’s work. Y/N took a deep breath as the music hit her, exhaling as she let any remaining stress seep from her body and into the night.

Before she could think too much about the busy days she’s had as of recently, a hand grabbed each of hers - one perfectly manicured, one covered in swirls of black ink - and pulled her in the direction of the bar. Mor flagged down a barman who recognised them immediately - it wasn’t a rare occurrence for the Night Court’s Inner Circle to make an appearance here.

After a moment, she handed her a shot glass filled with bright green liquid. “Bottoms up, you’re gonna need it tonight,” she grinned, already having necked her own. Feyre giggled as Y/N raised a questioning eyebrow at the blonde, throwing back her shot anyway and wincing at the tangy liquid.

“And why is that, exactly?” Y/N cocked her head at her friend, who’s brown eyes danced with excitement.

“Oh come on,” she rolled her eyes playfully, already flagging down the barman for yet another shot, just for herself this time. “You really think Cassian’s going to let us miss out on tonight? He’s been preparing his song with Rhys for days.”

It’s true - Cassian’s favourite night of the week was their newest tradition, open mic night at Rita’s. Four songs, four duos, randomly selected. Or so he says, anyway. He probably matched himself with Rhysand so he could convince him to sing Mysterious Girl together.

Feyre gripped Y/N’s hand from her other side, clearly trying her hardest to hold back a squeal of excitement. “How are you feeling?” She knew that there was more to that question than meets the eye. It wasn’t a secret that Cassian’s little game had paired her up with Azriel, much to his delight.

She put on her mask of indifference that she had mastered over the months of knowing the shadowsinger, refusing to give any details away of her incessant feelings for him that prodded at her constantly. “I am feeling absolutely fine, High Lady,” she smiled, eyes shining, but a scoff from her left interrupted her.

“Please,” Mor drawled, looking at her with a face that said, don’t even try. “You literally can’t fool anyone, especially not us, so drop the act.”

Okay, so maybe she hadn’t mastered her mask as well as she had initially thought, her twin’s nod of agreement cementing that conclusion. “Okay fine, but what do I have to be nervous about? You are all the ones who should be nervous when we out-sing you.” She smirked at them, but they shared a knowing look.

“There it is, changing the subject,” Feyre chuckled, nursing her drink in her hand. Y/N scowled at her, but she could never actually be mad at her. Frankly, she was more irritated by the fact that she knew her so well. “What? Y/N, this is what happens every time we bring him up.”

She opened her mouth to argue, when an arm was slung over her shoulder, and Feyre’s. “Ladies,” Rhysand’s melodic voice sounded over the music as he appeared between the sisters. He nodded at Mor with a grin, who was already on her… third, or fourth shot? Who knows. “Cass will have a temper tantrum if I don’t drag you all over to the stage right now.”

Feyre rolled her eyes with a laugh and allowed her mate to spin her into his arms, and they both made their way over to the Inner Circle’s area of the bar. Y/N’s heart warmed at the sight of them, knowing that her twin, her double in every way, had found her happiness. Mor looped her arm through hers as they walked behind them, her eyes following Y/N’s gaze. “You’ll have that soon, you know.”

Y/N looked over at her. She was so breathtaking, her brown eyes contrasting her golden hair, and her signature red dress hugging her flawless body in all the right places. Any male or female in this room would be lucky to get her, and yet, she didn’t care. Next to her, though, Y/N felt like nothing. As if Mor could sense her thoughts, she squeezed her arm affectionately. “Come on. Tonight’s the night you’re going to show that other side of you- oh don’t give me that look, I know it’s there.”

Y/N huffed, a lighthearted sound, and shook her head softly. “I wish I had your confidence,” She murmured, a dry joke.

“Babe, you’re sexy. When are you going to realise that?” The sheer certainty in Mor’s voice had Y/N raising her eyebrows at her friend, who simply nodded, as if agreeing with herself. “Channel it tonight. I’ll be watching.” She winked, and released her arm as they arrived at their own table right in front of the stage.

Rhys and Feyre had already taken their seats at the centre, High Lord and Lady looking elegant as ever. Cassian sat to Rhys’s right, his excitement akin to a golden retriever, as Amren, who was sat next to him, clearly tried her hardest not to throttle him. Next to Feyre sat Azriel, his looming shadows making the already dark bar appear pitch black in his presence. There were two empty chairs to his left, and finally Nesta sat at the end of the table, clearly trying to make the most of as much peace and quiet as she could get before the night’s shenanigans unfolded. Mor was quick to take the seat next to her, leaving Y/N between her and Azriel. He gave her a short smile as she sat down, ever the emotionless. “Are you ready?”

The low, icy voice of the shadowsinger never failed to take her by surprise. If the living embodiment of darkness could talk, it would sound like him. She looked at him, his hazel eyes glowing even in the darkness, and replied, “Are you?”

Before Azriel could respond, a flute of sparkly champagne slid from Y/N’s left into view. She turned to see Nesta, wordlessly handing her the drink, with grey-blue eyes that told her that she, too, thought she needed an extra little liquid confidence tonight. She noticed Mor biting her lip so hard she looked as though she may explode, and she rolled her eyes, a smile playing on her lips as she turned back to Azriel. To her surprise, it appeared as though a similar grin was tugging on those lips as well.

He merely raised his glass to hers, eyes shining with a grin that he wouldn’t let fully show on his face. She picked up her own glass and clinked it against his, matching his honey gold gaze.

Let the night begin.

It’s safe to say that the performances of the night were… well, entertaining. Cassian was a little too excited dragging Rhys up to perform their number first, giving major boyband energy up on that stage. Feyre was in fits of laughter, but Nesta looked like she wanted to claw her eyes out… but perhaps secretly enjoyed it behind that mask of disgust. Y/N’s two sisters were up next with a rendition of Love Story in which Nesta was surprisingly involved, followed by Amren and Mor’s take on Lady Marmalade, which was frankly the worst thing anyone had ever heard. If the monster lurking beneath Amren’s skin was anything like her singing voice, then Mother help us all.

It wasn’t long before her friends were cheering and whooping as Y/N stood from her seat - the final song. “Get him girl,” Mor whispered as she passed her, Azriel on her heels. She felt the shadows licking at her ankles as she ascended the steps to the stage, gripping the microphone that had been handed to her on the way.

As Azriel situated himself to her left, she stole a quick glance at him. He was looking at the floor, uncharacteristically tense under the gazes of all their friends. It was no secret that Azriel had the most beautiful voice you’d ever heard, a gift from the Cauldron itself, but it occurred to her now that maybe no one else had heard it before. Aside from her, at the couple of short practices they  had done. Even then, she didn’t think he was giving his all.

Y/N faced the front and prepared for the music to play - she was more of a seasoned performer than Azriel. She had played her fair share of gigs around Velaris, a good handful of which on this very stage. If she was showing some confidence, she hoped that it would spark some inside of him. She steeled herself, breathing in deeply as she raised the microphone to her lips, and the music began.

“He’s got gold eyes, crooked smile, knows that he drives me wild,”

She felt the heat of the spotlight on her as she let her voice ring through the bar. It was soft, to begin with, giving the song room to breathe, to build. She looked over at the man she was sharing the stage with, noticing tension already lost from his shoulders at the sound of her voice. His eyebrows were raised ever so slightly, and she knew then that he’d realised how she’d changed the lyrics to fit him, those perfect golden eyes.

“Can’t help myself, no I’m not in denial,”

The smile she sent his way was telling, it spoke a hundred words. But it wasn’t just her grin that conveyed the message she sent: you’re okay, you’re with me, move with me. There was something between them, an invisible thread connecting the two of them, body and soul and mind. Certain thoughts, certain feelings - she could feel his, and he could feel hers. A bond like this had meaning, they both knew this, but neither of them were bold enough to explore it, acknowledge it. Across that bond, she beckoned him: Azriel, you’re with me, and I’m with you… play with me.

“I know he’s no good for me,”

There was a flicker of something in the shadowsinger’s eyes, as if his mind had decided to pull him down an alternative route to the one he was prepared to go down, the one where he’d back out and run. A shadow of a smirk lingered on his lips, as his own shadows danced around him excitedly, egging him on. The weaving tendrils were clearly more than satisfied with the idea that flashed through their master’s mind, whatever images Y/N’s words had conjured up. Azriel, play with me.

“But when he gets down on his knees,”

The spark in his eyes only seemed to brighten as he brought the lyrics to life, sinking slowly down onto his knees before her. The shit-eating smirk he wore on his face in response to her evident surprise could have sent her to her own knees as she beheld him, kneeling, for her. Mother spare her. A quick glance to her right at the others confirmed that they had all had the same reaction she had, and she feared that the bar staff may have to assist in picking their jaws up from the floor. Azriel’s face was challenging, knowing, yet almost the picture of innocence as she felt his response in her mind: You told me to play with you. She sent one word back at him: Bastard.

If he was going to play dirty, so was she.

“He’s so eager to please, knows the right frequencies,”

He reached a hand out as if to touch her - where, she wasn’t sure - but she grabbed it before he could make any contact. Scars felt rough against her soft skin as she walked slowly, teasingly around him and she sang the chorus, her heeled boots tugging her posture upright so her body curved in all the right places. She caught Feyre’s eye as she circled Azriel, still knelt on the floor and looking as though he was more than content to stay there forever. Y/N’s sister looked like her eyes were about to bulge out of her head, her smile growing so big that Y/N thought it would be too big for her face. Next to her, Rhysand simply winked, an encouraging smirk boosting her confidence.

“They say he’s morally grey, what can I say? Grey’s my favourite colour,”

As she made her way back to the front of Azriel’s view, still gripping his hand as he held it upright for her to use, she slowly lowered herself down to a squat in front of him as she sang the line. From this angle, she was now much closer to his face than before, and she noticed the subtle sheen of lust glazing over his eyes. It almost made her lose balance - almost. She brought his hand gently to her lips, placing a chaste kiss onto his marred knuckles, and he took in a sharp breath. Most people flinch when they see his hands, or grimace, or turn away. Not Y/N. No, she thinks Azriel’s scars are part of his story. The backstory to a warrior, a survivor. Scars are not the memory of what happened, but a testament to who you have become.

“Morally grey, what can I say? Grey’s my favourite…”

She rose to her feet, prepared to give Azriel some space to begin his verse, remembering the nerves that clung to him barely a minute ago. As she began to turn, taking the first step away from him, something cold slithered around her ankle, and one around her waist. The shadows pulled her straight back to where she was as the music lowered, and held her in place, as if they knew that hearing his voice would send her to the floor. And Mother above, they knew her well.

“What can I say? No I don’t pray, but for your body, I’ll worship,”

She could have sworn her knees buckled, but she couldn’t tell from the shadows holding her still. Azriel’s voice was like silk, so soft and pure, yet it lit her insides on fire in a way that she’d never felt, burning her up like a beautiful, dying star. If his voice was to be the thing to send her to her death, then so be it. She would die very, very happy. He reached out once again, and this time she did not stop him as he ran his hand up her thigh all the way to her waist from his position on the floor. Even kneeling, his Illyrian frame was intimidatingly large, her body standing not too much taller than his. His eyes watched his hand intently as it traced the curve of her side, as if they didn’t have an audience, one that was most definitely gaping at Azriel’s sudden brazenness.

“Girl don’t be afraid, my love’s a grenade, just be a good girl, you can take it,”

Like an angel rising from the ashes of war, Azriel stood slowly, wings flaring as he rose to his full height. His gaze was already intense when she was the one looking down at him, but now that he was the one towering over her, the darkness in his eyes shot electricity straight through her body and into her core, her head reeling with thoughts so sinful that nothing could save her. His hand on her waist squeezed on the words good girl, and she was forced to bite her lip hard to stop herself from reacting in a way that would later be incredibly embarrassing. His eyes tracked the movement, lingering on her bottom lip as she released it from her teeth with a pop.

“Call me insane but for you, I was made, I’d burn the world down if it’d make you feel safe,”

The fire in Azriel’s eyes blazed as he took one step toward her, and another, and another, closer and closer. The upper hand that Y/N had held up until now had slipped, yielding step after step backward, her control completely faltering. She had always known that doing this with Azriel would likely create some… tension between the two of them, and he must have known, but Cauldron, this was unlike anything she had ever expected. Azriel was so close that she felt his body heat, felt her face warming, likely for everyone to see under the harsh glare of the spotlights.

“It’s you that I crave, and nothing compares to your taste,”

Y/N couldn’t help but feel like Azriel meant every single word he was singing. No, he didn’t write the lyrics himself of course, but the way his eyes burned with such feeling, and… what looked to be desperation, told her there was much more to this than meets the eye. And Gods… the way his voice cracked ever so slightly with a primal need as those final words left his mouth had her praying to whatever higher powers she could to forgive her for the damning shivers he was sending straight to the very heart of that taste he craved so badly.

As the chorus rolled around once more, their voices finally blended as one, and nothing had ever sounded so right. Azriel’s shadows danced freely around the two of them, creating a tornado of darkness, of intimacy, where they were right in the eye of the storm. The song continued, and the pull between the two of them was magnetic, almost hypnotic as they completely forgot about the audience they had; their family who were most definitely gaping like fish out of water. Y/N could feel Azriel’s warm breath on her face as he sang, his angelic voice whispering less-than-angelic promises that only she could hear in the way it trembled.

Y/N honestly didn’t think that Azriel could get any closer - what she failed to consider was that the shadowsinger was in so deep that he wasn’t planning on stopping until there was absolutely no space left between them. As the song once again softened, Azriel took his chance and leaned impossibly closer, abandoning his vocals in favour of a different use of that mouth. Y/N inhaled sharply as Azriel’s lips brushed against hers, gently, experimentally. Some instinctive part of her that knew this was right pushed her forward to press her lips a little harsher against his, earning a shiver from the shadowsinger. She heard a soft rustle coming from behind him as his wings twitched from the anticipation.

As he pulled away, Azriel heard a shaky exhale escape her lips, caused only by the feeling of him, the heat of two bodies pressed close together, the rush of meeting the lips of the person who, deep down, you know is made for you. Your partner. Your mate. That shiver he elicited from Y/N was the final straw - the last thing he needed to cement his plans for the night. His face still inches from hers, he whispered with a voice so low he wasn’t sure it had even come from him, “You’re mine tonight.”

One moment, the IC were watching dumbfounded at the scene playing out in front of them, some wondering if they really should be averting their eyes (apart from Cassian, who sat with a shit-eating grin on his face). The next moment, the stage was empty, a whisper of shadows the only thing left standing in their wake. Azriel had disappeared in a flash, winnowed to who knows where, taking Y/N with him.

“Goddamn, Az,” Rhys chuckled into his drink after a beat of shocked silence. “Nicely done.”

“No! But they didn’t even finish their song!” Cassian pouted, gesturing wildly at the empty stage as the music still played from the speakers.

“Somehow I don’t think that’s their priority right now, Cass,” Mor giggled, practically vibrating from excitement and pride, exploding with glee at what had taken place since her little pep talk earlier.

Rhys set his glass down on the table in favour of throwing an arm over the top of Feyre’s chair. “It’s about time those two did something about the obvious, right?”

As Feyre’s eyes sparkled with delight for her twin, she giggled at his words, overjoyed at the knowledge that Y/N may at last feel the happiness of having a mate. A partner for all eternity.  “Yeah… finally.”

[flanaganfilm]

Do you have any “don’t meet your heroes” stories from working in Hollywood?

Absolutely. Hollywood really is a place like no other. If you grow up loving cinema, certain people can take on mythic status in your imagination. Actors, filmmakers; they are larger than life. They become idols in the truest sense - an image that is actually worshipped. But Hollywood is actually full of very weird human beings who have been lucky enough to make their living in a world of make-believe. A huge percentage of the people who work in this industry are strange birds, unsuited for working anywhere else.

Some of our biggest stars wouldn't last ten minutes working a real job; some of our most exalted filmmakers collapse inward if they're in a crowded room. They can have unusual talents, or beauty, or unique perspectives and abilities that have propelled them to various levels of success, or even stardom, but they're just normal, neurotic people.

And success, fame, and money can really twist people. It can be like radiation. They can go full Gollum from it.

But most people who work in Hollywood are not stars at all. The vast majority of people who work here are not rich, not famous. Most are hardworking craftsmen and craftswomen who are fighting every day to make a living, scraping by the best they can in an industry that is brutal, impersonal, and impenetrable. But every single person in this business - whether they are superstars or not - are just ordinary people. They're insecure, anxious, and prone to all of the failings we mortals are prone to. Some of them are awesome; some of them are assholes. But most of the people here (even the superstars) quietly feel like they don't belong, or that they don't deserve it, or that their sheer ordinariness will be discovered any minute. In fact, it's the people who seem to feel the opposite - those rare people who feel that they DO belong here, and deserve the lifestyle this industry can afford, who are inevitably the least likable ones I've met.

As I've been lucky enough to keep working in this business, I've met a lot of the people who I idolized along the way. Filmmakers and actors who I admire so much, whose work has shaped the trajectory of my life without them knowing it. I've been starstruck every time, and I am still am - I stammer, I freeze, and I kick myself for what I say, or don't say, or how I said it. I'm not good at it. I have acute social anxiety, and when you throw me at someone I admire, I turn into a blubbering idiot. They say "don't meet your heroes" because you may (likely will) be disappointed by just how ordinary they truly are. Or worse, they may even turn out to be people you wouldn't want to interact with in normal circumstances - your heroes might be people you wouldn't want to invite to coffee. The persona you have admired is a product in itself, something you bought, something you have taken home and displayed proudly in your imagination... but the human being behind that persona is full of all the ordinary failings. That can be really hard to reconcile. So yeah, a long-winded way of saying that I've had the experience of meeting people I admired a great deal only to be disappointed, or worse. I've got some nightmare stories in there where the actual person violently shattered the idol I'd built in my imagination. I won't share those stories, there's little point in that, but instead I'll talk about the rare exceptions - the few heroes I've met who were every bit as awesome as I'd hoped they'd be. They may say "never meet your heroes," but they haven't met Mark Hamill. I worked with Mark on The Fall of the House of Usher, and he is one of my favorite people. Kind, generous, humble, and so, so funny. I was nervous and excited to meet Mark for the obvious reasons, because of the hero he was in my imagination - but I got to meet Mark the actor, the father, the husband, the humanitarian, and the friend. Guillermo Del Toro - one of my biggest heroes, his work has meant so much to me. And I was terrified to meet him. But he is one of the most joyful, honest, sweet-natured people I've met in the business, and his love for movies is infectious. For me, the man himself exceeded the myth.

I've been lucky to meet other exceptions to this rule, heroes of mine who exceeded my expectations - Ewan McGregor, Mick Garris, Brian Henson, Heather Langenkamp, Henry Thomas - and yeah, I've had the other experience too. But I try to focus on the exceptions. It can be unhealthy to idolize people - unhealthy for you, and unhealthy for them. But it's truly awesome when someone is even more amazing than you imagined.

[steddieas-shegoes]

always you

wanted to wish @rozzieroos a very happy birthday! you've been so supportive of me since the beginning and it makes a world of difference to someone who is always just a bit nervous to share the things they write. i am unfortunately not a very crafty bitch, so i can't return the friendship bracelet favor right now, but i hope this is a nice little sappy gift for ya! sending you big hugs and all my love 💕 - mickala

rated t | 1,324 words | no cw | tags: fluff, established relationship, the most miniscule hurt and almost entirely comfort, boys in love, side platonic stobin stuff but robin isn't technically there

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

Steve always had an adrenaline crash after a visit from Robin. The first time it happened, Eddie was convinced they would have to move to Boston just so Steve could get out of the funk. Luckily, they figured out what to do after a couple of days.

And every time it's happened since, they manage to get him out of it pretty quickly.

But this time seemed worse, and Eddie wasn't sure why.

As far as he could tell, everything about the visit was normal. Robin came for a long weekend, they all went to dinner together the first night, Eddie had to work on Saturday so Steve and Robin had their fun together. Sunday, they all went to brunch together before dropping her off at the airport.

And Steve was fine! That evening he was cooking dinner and dancing to music while Eddie wrote some notes for a campaign he was running with work buddies. They ate together and Eddie did the dishes while Steve went through his nightly routine of locking up.

They even gave each other blowjobs in the shower.

But this morning, as soon as Eddie opened his eyes and smelled the bleach, he knew it was bad.

He sat up and looked out the open bedroom door.

"Fuck."

He got up quickly, throwing on the closest pair of pants he could find, probably Steve's since they felt baggier than his own, and made his way down the hall to the bathroom.

Steve was on his knees, scrubbing the shower like it personally offended him.

"Hey sweetheart, everything okay?" He asked hesitantly.

"Fine," Steve answered, clearly very far from fine.

Eddie sighed and sat on the closed toilet lid. "Stevie, it's okay if you wanna have a sad day. I know it's hard when Robin goes back home. I'm off today so we can just relax in bed if you want."

Eddie would never tell Steve that the reason he was off was because as soon as he knew when Robin was going back home, he'd requested the day off to be here for Steve.

"I don't need a sad day. I'm fine."

"Yeah, that's why you've scrubbed the shower until it's literally sparkling at way too early in the morning," Eddie reached out and covered his shoulder. "It's okay to miss her. I know it's hard."

Steve stopped scrubbing.

Eddie prepared for what was likely to be a very ugly and loud sob.

Steve turned to him with his lips quivering and eyes watery.

"Oh, sweetheart," Eddie said as he got on the floor with Steve and pulled him into his lap. "It's gonna be alright. We're gonna visit her next month, remember?"

"I know," Steve said against his shoulder, voice wobbling like he was still holding back tears. "I just don't wanna keep doing this."

"What?"

"I hate being so far from her. We were supposed to live close enough to see each other every weekend and have sleepovers and now she's in Boston with her girlfriend who is amazing, and I'm here with you and you're amazing, but I miss her. And I know she misses me." Eddie could feel tears soaking his shirt. "And it's stupid that we're so codependent still, and I feel bad that you probably feel like you're not enough."

"Sweetheart, I don't ever feel that way. I've never felt that way. Have I made you feel like I feel that way?" Eddie tightened his grip around Steve.

"No, not really," Steve shrugged. "It's just I know we're a lot. And I know it sometimes probably seems like I need her more than I need you, but I don't."

"Sweetheart, I know that." Eddie kissed the top of his head and smiled. "You're a package deal. I knew that the moment you kissed me in the hospital room. I was getting Steve and his platonic soulmate Robin, or I wasn't getting Steve at all. I know how important she is to you. Don't you think she's important to me too?"

"I guess," Steve shrugged again, sniffling against Eddie's shirt.

"Well, how could she not be? She helped make sure you stayed safe before I was there to protect you. She knows exactly what to do when you have nightmares, taught me everything she could so I could be there for you. She sends me tapes she thinks I'll like when she sends you care packages. She was the second person I ever came out to! "

"Wait, I thought I was the second person you came out to."

"You were the third. She was a practice run when I saw her staring at the young nurse who checked my vitals the day I woke up. She's the one who told me I should tell you," Eddie nudged him away for a moment so he could look down at him. "I wouldn't be on this floor with you five years later if not for her. She's kinda important to me."

"I just hate that I get like this!" Steve finally said. "I hate that this happens every time. It's not fair to you."

"Love, it's okay. I know how to help." Eddie kissed his forehead. "Go ahead and wash your hands and go get back in bed. I'm gonna grab a book and we're gonna cuddle for a bit."

"But-"

"And then!" Eddie continued, louder. "We'll get pizza delivered for lunch even though we shouldn't. We'll call Robin. We'll take a bath. I'll wash your hair. I'll make us that roasted chicken stuff you like for dinner. It'll be perfect."

"Okay."

"And then-"

"There's more?" Eddie could hear the smirk in Steve's voice even though he'd buried his face against his neck again.

"Of course there's more." Eddie poked his side. "And then we're gonna start talking about moving closer to Boston so we can visit her more than three times a year."

"Eds, we can't afford Boston."

"I know. But we can afford New England if we find the right spots. We'll have her send us some ads for places for rent. I can transfer within the company. You're a teacher, you can work anywhere."

"You make it sound so easy."

"It is so easy. Making you happy is the easiest thing I'll ever do."

"But you have to be happy too."

"I will be. You wanna know why?"

"Why?"

"Because I'll still have you. And let's be honest, it's way more likely that one of the New England states is gonna let us get married before fucking Illinois."

Steve chuckled. "Married? Who said anything about getting married?"

"Oh, did I forget to mention? I planned on spending the rest of my life with you."

"I know that, goofball." Steve let out another genuine laugh. "I just didn't think you'd ever wanna actually get the law involved if they ever let us."

"Steven, I don't involve the law, the law involves me."

"I don't think that's how it works, babe," Steve kissed his neck before pulling away. "I think all that sounds nice though."

"Then hop to it, Harrington! We've got a bed to get back into."

Once they settled in their bed, Steve curled into Eddie's side while he opened the book they'd been reading for a week now, he looked up at Eddie with a soft smile.

"I love you a lot, you know?"

"I know, angel. I love you a lot more," Eddie replied, leaning down to kiss his lips softly.

They'd spend the day exactly as Eddie said they would.

They'd find a place only two hours from Robin and move less than a month later.

They'd get married as soon as it was legal for them to do it.

They rescued a dog.

They even adopted twins.

And every single time Steve wanted to see Robin, they packed up the car and went to visit her.

Because Steve had Eddie, and Eddie had Steve, but they both had Robin.

[cutielando]

legacy | m.v.

synopsis: in which your son follows in Max's footsteps

my masterlist

"I'm so nervous. Why am I so nervous?" Max asked you as he stressed around, going in circles.

"Now you know how I've been feeling for the best 15 years, honey" you chuckled as you patted him on the back.

Yours and Max' eldest son had his first karting race today and Max has been the most worried parent in the world. 

From checking his car over and over again, to making sure his gear would keep him perfectly safe, to talking him through every single thing he would ever need to know multiple times leading up to the race.

Your son was more than ready.

But Max still couldn't help but worry.

He was so happy when Y/S/N started showing interest in karting at a young age, glad that he could share his life's work with his son. 

He had taken your little family to multiple races ever since he decided to retire from racing after he won his 10th WDC title. He loved explaining to your boy all about the cars, how they worked and how they managed to go so fast, basking in the curious gaze of your little boy.

Now that it was really down to his first karting race, Max was slowly starting to regret indulging his son's passion for racing sports.

"This is karma biting me in the ass, isn't it?" he asked slowly, still agitated.

"Yup" you smiled, crouching down when you saw your son running towards you.

"Mommy! Daddy! Are you ready to watch me?" Y/S/N asked once he reached you and gave you a hug, going to hug Max's tall body next.

"Of course we are, sweetie. We'll be cheering you on the entire time" you kissed his head before getting up, checking your phone quickly.

You had left your baby girl at home with your sister, skeptical about bringing her to the rink when she was still so young.

Y/S/N understood, even though he had wanted her there with him. He knew she was too young to even understand what he was doing.

"Now, remember what we talked about..." Max started telling your son and you zoned out, watching the two of them interacting.

You had come such a long way from when you first started dating. You never believed you would actually get to this point, happily married with 2 amazing and beautiful children. And yet, here you were, happier than ever, Max stressed as ever as well.

"Mommy, can you tell dad to stop worrying?" your boy asked as he took your hand and pulled you out of your thoughts.

You laughed and ruffled his hair. "Believe me, it's all I've been trying to do ever since we left home this morning" 

Max rolled his eyes but smiled, worry still etched on his face.

♡♡♡♡♡

The race was well underway and your son was absolutely dominating every other small driver in the race. 

He was leading and had managed to create a very impressive gap between him and the others, doing wonders on the track.

You kept stealing glances at Max who didn't let up his focus and concentration for even a second, his eyes glued to the screens and sometimes darting to the track when your son would pass you.

"And the winner is... Y/S/N Verstappen!" the commentator yelled out when the race had finally finished and your boy had come in first.

Max cheered loudly, quickly disregarding his headphones and scooping you up in his arms, both of you laughing and cheering.

"Mommy! Daddy!" Y/S/N yelled as he parked his car, got out and immediately spotted you in the big crowd of proud parents.

"You did it! You were so good, my love" you gushed as you helped him take off his helmet so you could hug him properly.

"Daddy! Did you see how good I was? I did it for you!" Y/S/N yelled out as you let go of him and he jumped into Max's awaiting arms.

"You did so good, my boy!" Max kissed the boy on the cheek and squeezed him tightly, making eye contact with you over the boy's shoulder.

You teared up a little, watching the two most important boys in your life embracing after such a big moment in your little boy's life.

It made you think of Max in his racing days, how you got the exact same feeling when he would be the one winning races.

He had some competition now.

♡♡♡♡♡

After taking Y/S/N for some well-deserved ice cream and some cheat food, the three of you made your way home, knowing your sister would probably be overwhelmed with your little girl.

"We're home!" you announced as soon as you entered the house, your sister and your daughter immediately appearing out of the kitchen.

"Hi, baby!" you cooed as you took your girl, her eyes wide and her smile wide as she recognized her mama cradling her.

"How was she today?" Max asked as he gave your sister a quick hug before opening the spare room and depositing Y/S/N's karting gear.

"Can I talk to her, mom?" your boy asked eagerly, and you knew he wanted to tell her all about his race.

You nodded and after saying goodbye to your sister, the four of you went to the living room, taking a seat on the couch.

You carefully put your daughter in your son's arms, and the moment she had settled down, Y/S/N started telling her every single detail about the race, her blabbing away happily as she watched her brother with wide eyes.

You knew she couldn't understand a word he was saying, but watching him with her made your heart explode with happiness.

♡♡♡♡♡

"What are you thinking about?" you asked Max once you went back downstairs after putting your children to bed.

Max was sitting on the couch, holding a trophy and a photo frame in his hands.

As you took a seat next to him, you recognized the trophy as being the last World Champion title he received before retiring, and the photo was of you two, holding newborn Y/S/N in your arms on the podium with him.

You smiled at the fond memories, remembering both days like it was yesterday.

"He reminds me of myself" he quietly said, a ghost of a smile present on his lips.

"He will give you a run for your money one day" you joked, bumping your shoulder with his.

He chuckled and nodded, but you noticed his smile didn't reach his eyes like it usually did when you would talk about your son.

"What's wrong?" you started rubbing circles on his back, feeling the tense muscles under your touch.

"I don't want him going through the same things I did" he explained, setting down both the trophy and the photo frame.

You took his face in your hands and made him face you.

"He's not going to go through that because he has us. We will make sure of that"

"I know, but we both know there will be talk because he's my son. Just like there was talk about me when I first started racing" he continued, looking down at his lap.

"Listen to me. Y/S/N has talent like I've never seen before in someone his age" Max mimics a look of offense, but you continue nonetheless. "People are going to see how talented he is and they won't even think about saying bad things about him or belittling him or his talent. He still has a very long way to go, my love"

Max pondered for a moment but nodded, wrapping his arms around you.

"I love you so much, you're the best mother I could have ever asked for for them" he whispered in your ear, kissing the spot just behind it.

"And you're the best father this world has ever seen. I love you, baby"

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[violetasteracademic]

I just finished cc3 and I’m worried the next book will be about nesta. Why do you think the next book is still about elain?

Hello my darling anon! Congrats on finishing CC3, you have sent this to a rare bird in the wild who actually enjoyed the hell out of it despite the flaws. So I hope you had a good time!

I'm a bit nervous to show you guys this side of me. Well, I suppose I've been showing it, but to compile it in such a way is quite another ordeal. That being said, I have toooons of links and resources to share why, for me personally, it is so clear that Nesta's story is *not* over, and Elain's book is undoubtedly next. Both of these things are true, but it has everything to do with the direction of the multiverse, which is very tightly woven, and *not* ACOTAR 5/6, which has been in the works for near a decade. Save this. Come back to it. Take your time working through it. I'm giving you everything, anon!

We have two parts at play: ACOTAR and the new series, which I have no doubt in my mind is Twilight of the Gods (more on that later) so lets start with facts before we move on to theory.

I am positive Elain's book is next because Sarah's messaging has remained 100% consistent since signing on the ACOTOR spinoffs in 2016. Moving forward from ACOWAR, she wrote ACOFAS as a novella to "bridge the gap" between ACOWAR and the spinoffs, and set up the future of ACOTAR. That was completely true for ACOSF, where everything that was set up has come to pass or been expanded on so far. The introduction of the Blood Rite, Nesta's mental health struggles, Morrigan being assigned to Vallahan, and the continued escalation of Elain's relationship with Azriel and Lucien's with the Band of Exiles. We meet Emerie, we learn more about the struggles of the patriarchy in Illyria, so on and so forth.

Then, we have ACOSF. The first dual POV romance of ACOTAR. This was only the beginning of a long term plan of dual POV romances coming to fruition. Here is youtube video from early on in the process describing the spinoffs as standalones that feature a different romantic pairing each book, but form a backbone when united.

By 2020, after ACOSF was announced, Sarah reiterated again that the new spinoff series features a new couple each book, with their own miniature plot and romance resolving within the overarching story of ACOTAR. Here she also shares that she plans to write a *lot* more than what she is contracted for, and has a ton of different ships to choose from. You can watch that here.

And now we move to 2021, after ACOSF was released, and Sarah confirms she always planned to write a book about Elain here.

This is actually a great interview and one of my favorites. You can watch the whole thing here. Eva Chen is a real one.

As far as ACOTAR goes, Sarah has continued to confirm in multiple interviews that her initial plans regarding the spinoffs have not changed, and still largely follow that initial outline she pitched back in 2016. And it was always going to be Nesta and Elain.

I will reiterate, ACOTAR is its own series with its own structure. Every ACOTAR book will feature a new couple with their own romance story. ACOTAR will continue to be exclusively a romance series from here on out. A lot of people speculate a lot of things on the future of ACOTAR. That we'll get a big finale with a multi-pov, that the story will end after Koschei, that we'll have a Kingdom of Ash style book. None of this is true. Sarah is going to keep contracting ACOTAR books until she runs out of couples. If you think this sounds odd, keep in mind that SJM herself is a fan of and grew up on Nalini Singh, who has series that started in 2006/2009 and are still going, featuring a new couple each book:

So, this is not strange behavior for the genre, and I think SJM is excited to have an ongoing fantasy romance series like this. And I'm excited for us to read it!

So, no KoA multi-pov finale. No second Nesta book. ACOTAR is an ongoing romance series with an "unspecified number of books remaining."

Okay! Now let's talk about Nesta! Bone Carver voice: Nestaaaaaaa

I'm going to do something just for you, Anon. And whoever catches this in the next week or so. I left titkok as far as booktok/content making and whatnot and privatized all my videos with my face on them (for a variety of reasons. Some fandom/bullying related, some not) but I did a massive breakdown of SJM's publishing contracts and all of the lore for Twilight of the Gods build up. I did get some of my screenshots from other Tumblr accounts, and linked my sources in the caption! Give this a watch (it's long) and pop back over.

Obviously if you spend some time in the comments section, mostly the questions at large are regarding timeline. I'm happy to chat theory, but focusing on Nesta, it is incredibly important and specific that she had her role in CC3 and that she connected The Valkyrie to Midgard, aka Middle Earth in Norse mythology which is where Twilight of the Gods, aka Ragnarok takes place. We have seen Midgard, Hel, and I have no doubt we will see Asgard.

But take a look at the difference between Nesta and Azriel's journey in CC3. Nesta had a deep emotional arc with Bryce. She developed trust and a relationship with her that Azriel didn't. In the HoFaS bonus chapter, Nesta forged a bond and a relationship with Bryce's mom, Ember. Nesta and Bryce's development is what is important here: Nesta has now created the bridge between the Valkyrie and Midgard. Valkyrie are the chosen fighters of Odin in Twilight of the Gods- the war at Ragnarok.

Twilight of the Gods is coming, fam. Crescent City three also revealed that The Mother, Urd, and Wyrd are all the same entity. The Goddess of all creation and fate. She oversees all worlds, and another important but oft overlooked element in the CC3 crossover is the frequency of the conversations about the Gods:

So yes, Nesta still has a huge arc coming up baby! She is not done. No one is done. But the Valkyrie are gearing up to play a major role in TotG, not the next ACOTAR. I believe this also grounds the continuation of the tension between Nesta and Rhys, and these two powers at odds when it comes to making decisions. Rhys will protect Prythian first. Nesta is building the bridges to other worlds, and is willing to fight alongside them. Rhys has no relationship with Bryce and Midgard. Nesta does. And lets not forget the Pegasi!

CC3 was not about Nesta. It was about Bryce and Nesta. Giving the Starsword back to Nesta is simply because that is who Bryce had a relationship with, and will continue to have a relationship with in the multiverse, not because Nesta is getting another book. Honestly- who else was she supposed to give the sword, Mask, and Truth-Teller back to? Twilight of the Gods will feature characters from all worlds. Sarah confirmed it will be emotional to write because of the old faces we'll see pop up in her Today Show interview here. This interview was thoroughly structured and planned, and released on the same day as HoFaS.

Speaking of the Starsword, let's talk Azriel and his role in CC3. Azriel is now the only person we have seen carry both the Starsword (likely Gwydion from here on out) and Truth-Teller. Light and dark. The power that combined to unleash the magic on Avallen, otherwise known as the Prison/Dusk Court in Prythian. Nesta has her own sword, Ataraxia. We have not seen Nesta touch, wield, or use Gwydion. Only Azriel has.

There is only one other character at home in Prythian who has also wielded and used the full power of one half of that pair of weapons: Elain.

Nesta used Truth-Teller to cut off the kings head, yes, but Elain used Truth-Teller to travel through the shadows across a battlefield with no experience and no training. She held that blade, and it worked to her will, tapping into its magic.

Azriel also learned about the corruption of the Cauldron. This was his primary experience in the crossover- discovering that the Asteri, who force mates and curate bloodlines to create powerful offspring which they then churn through a soul meat grinder for food warped the Cauldron to enact their will. Azriel did not form a relationship with Bryce, or Ember, or form any sort of additional connections to Midgard the way Nesta did. His part of the story revealed the problems at home. His (likely) love interest is the only person who has used his blade there, while Azriel is the only person who has used Gwydion. Bryce notes that Azriel must have some Starborn blood in him. Silene confirms that the Dusk Court can only be nurtured and looked after by Starborn heirs.

So while Nesta's compass in the crossover pointed to Midgard and her developing relationship with Bryce, as well as her clear willingness to work with her, Azriel's compass pointed home. It pointed to his lineage, to the corrupted Cauldron, to being one half of Gwydion and Truth-Teller combining, the Dusk Court. All of which points us to...

Yup. Elain.

If this STILL isn't enough for you, I have made a few additional posts regarding The Glass Coffin (aka Sleeping Beauty, which Bryce plays for Azriel in the HoFaS bonus chapter) and some, but not all of the little Elain coded details in HoFaS. You can find those posts here and here.

I could keep going forever. I can reiterate that there was not one but two ACOSF bonus chapters, and both were about Elain. I can talk about about the fact that SJM always planned to write a book about each sister, and ACOFAS was about- duh- each sister. But this is already so long and full of so many links and resources. The wrap up is this- ACOTAR is now an ongoing dual POV romance series. Until she tells us that is no longer true, it is true. A new couple each book. Nesta and the Valkyrie are key players in Twilight of the Gods. Sarah confirmed she was writing Crescent City and Twilight of the Gods at the same time. The multiverse is happening, and it just takes a little bit of exploration to understand where the characters are likely headed.

I'll end on this note. Azriel and Elain are light and dark. This belongs to them. The bridge of connection between them- Truth-Teller:

Now look at how the combination of the Starsword and Truth-Teller is described in HoFaS, and tell me if it looks familiar to you:

And now alllll together again, fam! Who are the only two characters who have properly wielded and/or tapped into the power of the Starsword and Truth-Teller in Prythian?

Azriel and Elain.

I think that's everything. I hope this comforts you. I genuinely don't ever feel worried or confused. It is all so clear to me how Sarah wove this together, and I think it's absolutely brilliant. Eep! I just get so excited! So take a little bit of my excitement and release the fear. Half of the people making content on this blatantly hate one half of the next book and they willfully ignore that she has had one of the most beautiful, breathtaking, well foreshadowed and woven storylines in the history of SJM's writing. Of course that is only my opinion, but honestly, how could you NOT be impressed and excited?!

I can't wait. I just can't heckin' wait.

If you got through all of this, wow. You're the real MVP.

[abyssalzones]

hey anon! I debated most of this morning what the best way to respond to your ask would be because I'm not going to lie to you it almost made me cry. hopefully a drawing is okay. I wasn't sure whether it was my place to share what you've sent but I did want to answer you properly, and it ended up getting kind of long... so I'll put that under the cut here (sa mention)

First of all you definitely have nothing to apologize for, a major element of my analysis (and what had made me so nervous to post it to begin with) was that it came from a very personal place, and I knew if I posted it I was going to be opening up a lot of doors. good or bad I honestly had no idea but I really hadn't anticipated such an overwhelmingly positive response, and I especially hadn't imagined so many people to share their own experiences with abuse and how what I wrote meant something in relation to that. it makes me extremely glad I bit the bullet and allowed myself to be a little vulnerable about something I enjoy.

there's something almost uniquely weird about being a victim and seeing yourself in a story but not knowing how to express that. it feels like one of those things you can't really say without crossing an extreme line, and any parallels you might be able to draw are therefore Reaching, biased by your own experiences. I've struggled with this a lot as someone who uses art not only as an outlet but a voice for my experiences- and what experiences I think deserve to not only be treated with respect but honesty. there's a lot to be said about the alienation of the victim from the rest of society when sexual assault is so overwhelmingly common in our world, and how difficult it can be to find truthful and respectful depictions of these experiences in... anything, pretty much.

I have no idea if that's what they were trying to do specifically, from a textual angle. but I do think it's possible, and am confident that they at least drew on the subject (both in the instance of Bill coercing Ford to drink and the scene later where Ford is paralyzed), which was honestly what led me to write the analysis in the first place. That "he's kinda like me" moment you describe is something I'd had for a long time but had never been able to say confidently without feeling like I was reading between the lines. But I think you're right. and I think there is a real reason why such a story could speak to people in that way, could be so important for the process of recovery... we can't always conceptualize what happens to us from our own perspective, y'know? we're trapped in our own minds for the most part. so I think fiction works excellently as a way to work through these things and see our worst struggles in someone else- and to come to vitally important realizations of our own.

anyway, all that to say I'm so glad what I wrote helped you come to that realization. hearing that makes me feel like I've done something not only to help myself find some closure, but for others to as well :] healing is always, always possible and I sincerely hope you find your happiness as Ford has, and as I've found mine.

[vqrtualheartss]

Without Barriers — e42!Miles x Fem!Black!Reader

ᴅ☆ᴇ'ꜱ ꜱᴀʏ|

Hi chatt, unuh miss me? 🙂.

Anywho, part 3 of this thing

I been inactive but I swrr it's just school, I been inactive n shit but I still love writing and adore Spider-verse (I'm still hyper fixated. Helpp.)

Also looks like I have part 4&5 to give after I properly proofread, bye lovess

These past few weeks in Earth 42 have been quite eventful to say the least. Not to mention you breaking the promise to yourself that you'll never fall in love with Miles Morales ever again. I mean, it was inevitable really. Who wouldn't fall in love if someone looked at them like that?

Leading up to school Miles got everything in order for you.

Your hair? Who knew your man was a cosmetologist cause he did you right by that electric blue dye

Clothes? Bought and paid in fulll

He made sure you had common knowledge of everything. Places, people, lingo, social norms even drama, he went as far as teaching you basic fighting techniques.

"I know it may hurt tesoro, but you need to learn. I'm not gonna be there every time to save you."

One thing that had you on ice though was when he brought in fake identification with your new credentials that did not look fake at all. Truly, you didn't want to question it, but your face said what your mouth didn't. Now you looked at the papers then at Miles, back and forth, back and forth.

"I know you have questions, just ask" He spoke up, breaking the unneeded awkward silence when he did.

"I didn't even say anything to you" I retorted

"Good"

That came off with more sass than it should've, from both of you at that.

I hate his attitude at times. "Miles, sit down."

He sat himself where he did before, bracing himself deeper into the chair. "My eyes are up here by the way. "

He laughed when I hissed. Yuh bright bad. Slowly the playful air in the room dissipated, a more serious feel emerging. Miles cleared his throat, he was nervous, okayy. I still kicked my feet while being on the bed, waiting patiently for him to start.

"(y/n)" his leg started to bounce involuntarily

My eyes shifted to him, they already were but this time I looked into his eyes. Lord knows I was not the one for eye contact, so I hid the other half of my face with a pillow. Because, I was ready to giggle, and I don't think it was the time for that.

"You, and I know about how I feel about keeping secrets from each other"

My eyebrows furrowed, but it was true though. Miles told me everything he could remember , his allergies, favorites, dislikes, pet peeves. Even the most personal shit like how the house we shared was a piece of land paid in full by his father before he passed— one for him and another for his mamá. Like I said, everything.

And I never judged him for any of it, no reason to, but right now, I am not familiar or comfortable with this tone. I nodded for him to continue, visibly skeptical of what was to come next.

"And I've been giving you the half-assed truth about what I do. My uncle and I, we work fo- with this man. Kingpin, and the shit we do isn't necessarily good either. I fight, steal, hurt people, a bunch of stuff"

Knowing Miles he would've went on with the list trying to "be transparent" . Drawing an inference he stopped noticing my widened eyes , I wasn't shocked at him. No, it was the insane ass plot twist. In the other dimension it was just Aaron and Kingpin, yikes. Miles gave me my look, my look when I'm signaling for questions or something to make a situation less awkward.

"You kill people? "

He nodded

"Often?"

"They must've sent the feds on my ass"

I wasn't pissed, I swear, but the hitched lip and narrowed eyes inflicted a response from him. He relaxed his shoulders , but he still looked perplexed.

"Never have, almost broke the streak after-" I put up a hand in front of him, stopping whatever he was going say next. I do not care about what you do inside that suit, whatever you want handsome.

I stared blankly, randomly looking over at him when I heard his breathing heavy.

"You're not scared of me right?" He stammered a bit, aw

"Do you plan on hurting me?"

"I know you're not stupid" Just cause yah man nuh mean seh yuh fi wicked

I watch him rest his elbows to the edge of his thighs, I copied his hand placements from before, head in palms, a W over my lower features.

He sighed.

"No, never, nunca baby"

"Then there's your answer: no, never, nunca" Nah call yuh baby too much cause yahv mi siddung like yam inna basket.

--------------

Then came the time when your results for Brooklyn Visions were to arrive. Given that they decided to send the letter a mere two days before school opened was criminal. Already anxious, it didn't help that it was one of those days where Miles was absent for almost all 24hrs.

Your stomach flipped on end, contemplating what to do if you didn't get in, what to tell Miles— you couldn't just stay here doing nothing for the whole day, waste style that. The what if's had you on edge, not wanting to open the letter, so—... you didn't.

Waking up from an afternoon nap, you felt disoriented with no remembrance of earlier. Somewhat aware of the time difference of then till now you went downstairs looking for Miles and instead went for the letter. Although a delayed reaction you shrieked at the words in bold : You're Accepted!. The lingering decibels drew Miles down frantically observing that he didn't even take off his left gauntlet. Seeming as though you were safe, he went up after a while then came back down— to shower presumably, he hated having you near him after he's gone out.

"I got in!"

-------- (Skipped a few lines cause I'm lazy)

"Miles, stop kissing my face, you're gonna bring out my cheeks"

Any average person would've, but not Miles— he wasn't average.

"(y/n), can you leave me alone to give my esposa affection in peace?"

" 'Esposa', yeah right" I scoffed, rightful title

“I don't know what's going on in that pretty little head of yours but dios mio, sure isn't working right.”

Removing the arm from around my body, he took his phone from his pocket and placed it blatantly on the armrest of the couch. Securing his hands on my hips he moved me to the kitchen island then on top of the counter. I stayed put like a porcelain doll in showcase— not that I hated getting treated by him the way he did. Elevating himself on his palms he rubbed the sides of our faces together then pushed himself into my neck.

“Miles, are you a dog?”

“Whatever you want me to be”

Laying down on the counter, his head was adjacent to my thigh. Wrapping an arm around the width he dragged me closer, diminishing any little space left between his head and my body. Placing kisses along the length, I tangled a hand into his hair, massaging and drawing patterns into his scalp. After some time my neck and back started to hurt, constantly I began to rub them and groan. Miles noticed from the glances he took every now and then. He mumbled something into my thigh.

“I'm sorry, I didn't hear you”

“Can we stay a bit longer—... please”

I passed him a re-assuring smile. Bringing himself back down he brought a hand of mine with him, toying with it and doing whatever. When I felt it lay flat on his face I assumed he had fallen asleep. Still, my body ached but I didn't want to leave him here by himself.

What could I do without him?

Shit.

After (what I thought were) three quiet yawns later Miles woke up, somewhat. I figured he wasn't fully conscious but enough to piece together the fact that I hadn't left even though I was still hurting. Sitting up, he flexed his wrists, arms, and other limbs, gathering strength before taking me off the counter and placing me on his bed. Instead of the usual hug as our sleeping position, he put a hand on my nape and lower back, kneading away more pain than I were aware of.

"Why didn't you leave?" I wonder

"I would've been bored alone"

"C'mon, you'd be sleeping"

I physically can't nor do I want to sleep without you.

Shaking my head, I held onto his shirt, initiating some type of contact before his hands were free. I looked up at him, completely in disbelief that once again, once more I fell in love with Miles Gonzalo Morales. And he's going to be my doom, I know it

Miless p.o.v

One, I don't think she realizes she said that out loud, and two, you know that feeling when your organs get flushed out and replaced with butterflies? That's basically how I felt. And believe me, half of the time I don't know what to say to her, whatever I say, I just do. She's perfect, mine to ruin, but I don't want to do that, I don't want to hurt her.

She's attached to me— deeply. While that may not be a bad thing, it isn't good either. I've studied (y/n) for a while within us being together, she's the 'i love you so that means I'd die for you' type but I can't let that happen. If anyone's sacrificing themself for the other its me— I wasn't raised otherwise, she hasn't taught me to love otherwise. Crucify me after for leaving my beautiful tesoro on the earth by herself, id deserve it. And I definitely think I'm the only one deserving of her.

Props to the jackass that fumbled, forever grateful to you.

Before I could answer, her hand fell flat against my chest, the warmth of it tugging me into sleep with her.

---------------------------------------------––----------------------------------------------

Waking up, I saw a blue sky instead of the black abyss I was accustomed to . This became a regular thing since I started sleeping with her— physically, not y'know, she says she's not ready for that. Often, I had to push back meetings and missions with my uncle because of it.

Shit, speaking of that, today I intend to ask my uncle for at least 2 months of off jobs, and I know he'll come through, hopefully. School re-opens tomorrow, and while it's my first time back, it'll be her first time ever. I can't nor do I want to miss this for her.

Getting up, (y/n) gripped tightly onto my shirt forcing me to stay down. They were just her reflexes coming into play, but I still complied, waiting until she was comfortable to get up. From what happened I do not want to wake this girl up again. She placed her head onto my leg, be it any other day I would've stayed until she woke up, but if I wanted those months off I'd need to get my phone somewhere in the kitchen.

------------------------------------------(6:37pm)------------------------------------------

With minimal back and forth, Uncle Aaron and I settled on 3months no jobs (he'd cover) with me coming in every Saturday 9-10, am to pm to keep overview on plan Burn Brooklyn. I promise it isn't what it sounds like.

Handing me my bag, he went behind his mini- bar and poured out something— Bailey's probably. Man is addicted to that shit. I understand though, kinda. What a time when he let me go through his cabinets after a fight with (y/n), I was a mess. She called me a hot mess.

Draping an arm around my neck, he noticed that unlike times before, instead of slanting downwards his arm tilted up.

"You're growing up, and fast Miles" Using the strength from his arm he turned us around to face the windows. Sunrises never intrigued me, but the sunsets were something else. He took a small swig at the cup before continuing.

"You're finding love, making it out, doing your best" I noticed hand movements from him at the corner of my eye. Uncle Aaron was crying. Uncle Aaron is crying.

"If I found a piece more of myself in you I'd say that you were just like me when I fell for yo—" He cleared his throat, stopping himself.

"You're not just doing this for us are you, she's involved isn't she"

I wasn't going to lie to Uncle Aaron over a question, I didn't even give him a answer to what he already knows. Despite the constant liquor intake he produced a smooth laugh, his hand repeatedly patting my bag.

"I like her a lot Uncle Aaron"

"Like is a feeble word for what you two have, we're happy to see you like this"

"we?"

"Rio and I"

So it's everybody in our business? Cool

--------------------------

I'd prefer above all things walking beside my love to go home like we usually do, but unfortunately he had to call out of school. Typical, atleast he trusts me enough to walk home by myself, and with what I've learned from him I'm sure to be alright.

"Hand in your pocket hermosa, the watch looks shiny and that's what they like out here"

"Walk only where I showed you, if not the safest area but it's safer"

And he's referring to roads nearby Aaron's house so he's always here and there if I need him. It's ironic that a "criminal" makes the city safer for me and not some superficial superhero.

Sudden thuds draw me back to reality, what the hell? I recognize that thing, it's what I came through— a portal.

Fada God.

Action resumes on the road adjacent to me, an escapee of some sort and someone running after them.

My heart and pace speeds up as I stare through my peripheral at the hero of the encounter. Those where they can peep from buildings, street corners and alleyways at the commotion. It's something no one has ever seen, except for a comics con nerd. I'm not one, but I know exactly who that person is— the figure and combat style is just too familiar.

Fada. God. Not today. Abeg. Please.

"Is that Spiderman? And not just any Spiderman… Is that thee fucking Miles Morales?"

-----------------------------------------

Still re-wrote everything cause life didn't end when Tumblr decided to delete it 🙂.

It's kinda short, but work with it until I can update more tmrw on it 🙂.

[jazzthatonewriterchick]

A New Kind of Distraction (poly!Pro!KiriMina x Bi!Fem!Reader 18+ One Shot)

Pairing: Pro!Kirishima x Pro!Bi!Mina x Bi!Fem!Reader (race not specific) 

Synopsis: After your boyfriend of a year breaks up with you on what would have been your two-year anniversary, your very good, very attractive friend Mina (whom you’ve secretly been crushing on since high school) and her even more attractive boyfriend Kirishima decide that the only way to get you over your shit ex is through a threesome with her and him when you get an invite to Dynamight’s birthday party. 

Warnings: Smutty smut (MINORS DON’T READ), 18+, Mentions of Alcohol & Marijuana, Friends to Lovers, Poly Romance, Threesome, Swearing, Dom!Kiri, subby!Mina & Reader, Bratty Mina, Aged up!Kiri & Mina (both are 25) Spanking, Facefucking, Mild Degradation, Praise, Spit Play, Cunnilingus, Fingering, Clit Stimulation, PIV Sex, Pussyjob, Unprotected Sex (IF YOU DON’T WRAP IT, YOU CAN’T HIT IT), Mutual Orgasms, Aftercare, Bakugou catches y’all, Bisexual!Mina & Reader, Race of reader is not specified 

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters mentioned in this fic. However, as this is my writing, I do not give permission for my work to be reposted on any other sites that are not from my own accounts. Thank you! 

Writer's Note: Hiiiiii!! Nice to meet y'all. I'm Jazz (or Jasmin) & I'm fucking nervous to be posting this. This is my first fic on Tumblr & I've been a lurker for a LONG time now lol.

I was known as the author JasminNelson then urgirlyjazz for a long time on Wattpad. My stories were fairly popular until writing on Wattpad got stale & I needed a clean slate. So now I'm on here & Ao3! I've very excited to be a part of the community of talented black writers I've seen on here, so I hope my writing is enough!

I've had this little idea for a while now, so I decided to finally write it. All criticism & tips are welcome too! Enjoy! -Jazz

Ao3 link here!

*********

“I’m not going to the party, Mina.” 

“Why noooot?” Mina whines from her spot on the couch, still dressed in her pajamas of a loose Red Riot tank top and shorts that showed off her very impressive ass from many hours of pilates and work as a pro hero. Your eyes quickly flick away from the double RR, stark red and practically mocking you, on the front of her breasts. 

You turn your back to her as you stand in your kitchen in the apartment you both share as roomies and best friends, mostly to keep your eyes off her tits and that damn tank top as a reminder of what you don’t have anymore. You busy yourself by whipping up your iced coffee to go with your breakfast that you still haven’t prepared yet. 

“Well, number one, it’s way too sudden,” you begin to explain as you grab your thermos and fill it with ice from the fridge. “I don’t even have an outfit for something as big as Dynamight’s birthday bash.” 

Mina rolls her golden irises with pinups as black as inkblots as she sits cross-legged on the couch. “It’s tomorrow night, Y/N,” she huffs with a scoffing laugh. “We can go shopping once you get off work today. You get off at 4, right?” 

“Yes,” you reply, and you wish you don’t because that opens the door to the possibility that you’ll be interested in attending Bakugou Katsuki aka Dynamight’s 25th birthday party at his house. His parties have always been extravagant as soon as he became a pro hero, nothing but a show of his money and fame. Last party he had, his whip ended up in his swimming pool. “But it’s still a no. My plan was to come home and sleep like I always do.” 

“Yes,” Mina agrees, her tone accusatory. “Like you always do, and have been doing for two months with your depressed ass.” You whip around with your thermos, mouth agape. “Hey!” you shout defensively. “I am not depressed! And don’t joke about that kinda shit. Mental health is no joke.” 

“You’re right!” Mina agrees. “Which is why you should avoid sinking at the bottom of a depressive hole like you did before by coming out with me and Kiri. You remember what happened when that first month, don’t you?” She stands from the couch, giving you a good look at her toned legs and the very bright, very pink bra she wears underneath her RR tank top. 

Goddammit. Why does she always have to this to you? It’s bad enough you’ve had a crush on the girl since your days at U.A. High with her bubbly and silly self. You thought you had gotten over it once you both got older, but years later, with Mina now being dubbed the pro hero “Pinky” and you in college and juggling your job at a local financial law office, things have only gotten worse. 

You and Mina have been friends for years and you’ve seen her grow into the adorable, kind woman she is today, which makes crushing on her so damn hard. It’s even harder seeing her date your mutual friend since high school Eijoru Kirishima aka “Red Riot”, one of the sweetest people you’ve ever met, even after years of hard work and constant threats that would make anyone break. 

And whom you also have been crushing on.

Mind you, your crush on Kiri has not been as long-term as the one you have on Mina, but it is just as strong and just as pestering. But who wouldn’t fall for that big, goofy grin, that deep, raspy voice, and those muscles that you’re guilty of dreaming of touching for yourself? He and Minda dated right after they graduated U.A. High after years of secretly pining for each other and you couldn’t be happier for them…. 

At least, that’s what you try to tell yourself. Though they do their best to include you in their plans and not make you feel like a third wheel, between crushing on both of them and not having your ex to distract you anymore, hanging with them feels like slowly losing your mind. Every time Kiri comes to visit your and Mina’s apartment during his lunch break or on his days off, this results in you usually making an excuse to leave to avoid watching him and Mina be lovey-dovey and dry hump on the couch. 

And activities outside of the apartment? Forget it. You’d rather stay home and drown in ice cream and movies than watch your hopeless crushes giggle with each other at the restaurant table or cuddle in a movie theater. It’s fucking torture! But you know it could never be possible to be with either one of them. 

Realizing you’ve been silent for too long, you answer Mina as you move to get some oat milk creamer out of the fridge. “Yes, I remember, Mina,” you sigh, not wanting to. “That first month after he left me was not my hottest.” Mina clucks her tongue against the roof of her mouth. “I still don’t know what you saw in that guy,” she mutters.

You put your thermos on the Keurig coffee maker and press the start button, staring down at your painted nails and the cuffs to your sweater for work. It’s been two months since your ex took your heart, shat on it, and threw it in the trash all on what would have been your second-year anniversary. But according to him, he never had your heart in the first place. 

He had told you all of this while standing outside of the restaurant he wasted time making reservations for, humiliating you in front of the people who walked in and out the doors. “You think I don’t see the way you look at them?” he had scoffed to you, face twisted in a scowl. “You think I don’t know? How the fuck are you with me but you’re in love with them?” 

“I’m not in love with either of them!” you had shouted, in tears, makeup and night ruined. “We’re just friends! I had a crush on Mina in high school, but–” 

“And it hasn’t left,” he had growled. “Don’t bullshit me, Y/N. Whenever we’re all together, you look at her like you want to kiss her. And you look at her man like you want him to join!” 

His harsh words made you flinch, and it made you cringe even more that you weren’t subtle in keeping your feelings hidden from him. “I’ve done so much to try and show you how much you mean to me,” he said, his voice strained with emotion. “And yet…” He scoffed to himself, looking away from you as if he couldn’t stand the sight of you. 

You stared down at your shoes, ashamed. started to be angered with yourself at hurting him so…until he said this fuck shit: “I thought I was okay with you being bisexual, but deep down, I always knew this would happen.” 

Your head shot up so fast you could’ve gotten whiplash. “You’re kidding, right?” you scoffed, but his scowl told you differently. “You’re blaming this on my sexuality? Something I can’t help?” He was silent, walls behind his eyes completely guarding his true feelings.

You should’ve known that would’ve happened. It wouldn’t be the first time you were misunderstood for being bisexual in the dating scene: ‘So it’s not a phase?’ ‘Does that mean you’d be down for a threesome?’ ‘What if you cheat with a guy and a girl? I couldn’t handle that!’ 

The first month after that was filled with crying, self-loathing, and nights getting cuddles from Mina. The next month was better, but you’ve learned to keep a boundary between Mina and Kirishima, including missing out on hanging with them by taking up extra hours at work or going to your campus library to study for exams instead. 

“I just worry about you, Y/N,” Mina sighs, bringing you back down to earth. “Kiri worries too. He just doesn’t tell you because he’s worried he’ll cross a line. You don’t even hang with us anymore!”  

You sigh to yourself, feeling horrible for treating your friends in such a way. You want to explain yourself to them, but that would mean admitting to them the truth about why your ex left you in the first place and about the pitiful, embarrassing crushes you have on them. As the smell of coffee fills the air, the hot liquid becoming chilled from the ice in your thermos, you turn to a worried-looking Mina. 

“I’m sorry, Pinky,” you say apologetically, tugging at the sleeve of your sweater. Mina cracks a smile at the use of her hero name and your old nickname for her in high school. “I guess I’ve just been trying to distract myself from any romance…including you and Kiri.”

Mina’s brows furrow in confusion. “I mean, shit, Mina,” you chuckle. “You guys are relationship goals! Every time you guys are together, I feel like offing myself.” 

Mina giggles to herself, the sound like music to your ears. Then her smile drops. “Have we been making you uncomfortable?” she asks, and then gasps, horrified. “Have we been rubbing our relationship in your face this whole time? Is that why you stopped hanging out with us?” 

“Mina, Mina, honey!” You immediately come to her aid, putting your hands on her shoulders. “You’re gonna make yourself sick. No, you and Kiri don’t make me uncomfortable. You just make me remember what I had.” Or wish I had. 

“I’m so sorry, Y/N,” Mina softly says, looking absolutely gutted by this. “I didn’t even realize…” She trails off, staring down at her yellow shark slippers. You want to kick yourself, feeling like you just made her feel guilty for something that isn’t even her fault. 

Finally, she looks back up at you, a newfound understanding in those stark night eyes. “You don’t have to come to Bakugou’s party, if you don’t want to. I know his parties aren’t your scene and that’s fine! I just thought it’d be a good chance for you to have fun and relax because you so deserve it.” 

‘Do I?’ you want to ask. Do you really deserve anything close to peace after your relationship ended because you’re crushing on two other people that can never like you back? 

The Keurig buzzes, signaling that your coffee is done and making you realize that you’ve yet to cook breakfast, and you start your shift in half an hour. It also makes you realize that you do, in fact, need a distraction from your breakup, even if just for a little while. And you’ll make sure you stay as far away from Mina and Kiri’s love affair as possible while there. 

You let out a defeated sigh, earning Mina’s attention. “Fine,” you groan. “I’ll go.” Mina squeals, happily clapping her hands. “But only for an hour. I’m not gonna stick around and watch Denki try to take body shots off of every girl at the party again.” 

Mina shakes her head so hard that she’d put a bobblehead out of work. “Yeah, yeah, of course.” She squeals again, wrapping her arms tightly around you and giving you a whiff of her strawberry shampoo from her soft, pink curls. “Oh, this is gonna be so much fun! I’ll meet you outside of your office at 4 and we can go shopping!” 

“And get dinner,” you add, playfully batting her away. “Now shoo! I have to get ready for work.” Mina giggles and goes to leave you to pack up, but not before grabbing your chin and planting a kiss on your cheek that leaves you feeling hot in your sweater and your brain short-circuiting. 

Ten minutes later, when you finally grab your coffee and your bag for work and make it on time to the bus stop to take you to work, you wonder if this is really a good idea. Is it possible to stay away from your very attractive best friend and her very attractive boyfriend tonight, especially when alcohol is involved? 

Standing under the cherry blossom trees that grace the block of your apartment, pink petals cascading down around you, you look to the blue spring sky in prayer. “God, help me,” you moan. 

********************

When you and Mina step out of the Lyft she orders the next night and stand in front of the massive mansion brimming with activity and noise, you already regret stepping out of your apartment. 

Especially in the mini dress she made you wear after shopping the day before after your very slow shift at the financial law firm. Your boss wasn’t there that day, so you let yourself take a longer lunch than normal after completing all of your tasks as soon as you got there. It’s a pretty good gig–the pay is enough to keep the lights on, you get your own private cubicle, and it puts you in a position to meet pro heroes who have financial problems of their own, so the gossip with Mina is always juicy. 

You now wish you would’ve just made an excuse to go straight home yesterday instead of shopping for a good party outfit. Though you’ll admit you look good in the skin-tight, bodycon dress, matching pumps, and a push-up bra that makes your titties look absolutely scrumptious, the cool spring breeze sneaking up your thighs to your panties makes you think twice. 

Especially as Mina drags you up the steps to the brick walkway to Dynamight’s humble abode. You can hear the hip-hop music blaring from the speakers inside (sounds like Pop Smoke), so loud that the windows shake, and the DJ hyping the dancing crowd up into the mic. Multi-color lights flash from inside the living room, all different colors of rainbows. 

Mina, with her hand still in yours, turns to smile at you. She went for a black crop top that stops just above her toned stomach and low-rise jeans with rips at the knees that exposes the V-line that leads down to where your fantasies can only imagine. In her six-inch pumps, she stands just at your height, and her gold earrings dangling from her ears glint in the moonlight shining above the mansion roof. “Ready?” she brightly asks. 

“Definitely not,” you answer, nervously staring at your hands still connected.

“Aw, come on, girl!” she giggles. “You’ll be fine! Everyone you know is there. Bakugou is very particular about his guests. Plus, you look fine as hell.” She sneakily takes a handful of your ass, making you squeak. “No doubt you’ll find someone to get your mind off of that jerk. Now come on!” 

Before you can protest or even recover from the ass grab, she’s knocking on the door where a big, burly man comes walking up to the door with a very intimidating scowl. “Name?” he asks as he gets out a notepad. 

“Mina Ashido and Y/N L/N,” Mina answers, her bright smile never faltering. The guard looks over the notepad for a moment before nodding and allowing them through. As soon as they’re inside, he shuts the door and stands by it protectively. 

Your eyes drink in the large, beautifully-decorated living room where guests, many of whom you know and are familiar with, occupy. Most are on the dance floor that is separated from the front door by a red velvet rope, bodies bumping under the lights to the music. On the far right is a mini bar where three hired bartenders are serving drinks, from cocktails to rounds of shots.

Along the walls are love seats and lounge seats where you see puffs of smoke from lit blunts and hookah pipes float up to the ceiling. Near the dance floor is a DJ stand where the DJ stands working hard, taking a break from yelling into the mic. Though the party still looks like it is worth a couple thousand, it’s pretty chill for Bakugou’s taste. 

Speaking of Bakugou, when he yells at Mina and you from across the room, it’s like a record scratch in itself. “Pinky! Y/N!” he screams at the top of his lungs, waving one muscular arm at them from his little VIP area which includes the likes of the Bakusquad. Sero gives a wave too which you happily return while Denki throws up the peace sign, too faded to function as he snuggles with Jirou in his seat who gives you a wave as well. 

“There’s the birthday boy!” Mina happily laughs as Bakugou throws both arms around her tinier body, nearly knocking her over. “Damn, someone’s been goin’ overtime.” 

“You fuckin’ know it,” Bakugou slurs before giving you a hug as well. You can smell the liquor radiating off of him. “She got you out of the crib, huh? Must be a full moon.” 

“Very funny,” you scoff, throwing his arms off of you as he cackles. “And happy birthday. Surprised you didn’t go overboard this time.” Bakugou rolls his crimson eyes at your words. “Ugh, don’t even mention it. My publicist was up my ass about how my car ended up in that pool.” 

You giggle at the memory of that group chat where you, Mina, and the rest of the squad clowned Bakugou for his bad decisions. “And I’m surprised you put yourself in that get-up,” Bakugou comments, his eyes trailing over your form. “What, you my birthday present or something? ‘Cause I wouldn’t be complaining.” 

“Careful, K,” Mina says in a warning, protectively putting a hand on your lower back. It only makes your skin catch fire through the fabric of your dress. “She just got out of a relationship two months ago. I don’t think she’s wanting to take care of your drunk ass tonight.” 

Bakugou scoffs in disbelief at her words, making you giggle to yourself. “Don’t worry, Bakugou,” you coo, patting the birthday boy on the back. “There’s plenty of girls I’m sure would love to give a piece of another kind of cake tonight.” 

“And who would that be?” a very familiar, very sexy, rasped voice asks from behind you. “Certainly not you, right, Y/N? You’re way too good for this messy bitch.”

You slowly turn, finding the Red Riot to be standing behind you carrying two lemon drop martinis rimmed in sugar. And he looks so damn good–he decided to go casual with a loose mesh tank top that exposes his impressive pecs where you see the silver ring that adorns one nipple and muscular arms roped in tattoos, leather joggers that only leave to the imagination what’s underneath, and hightop sneakers. His red locks are tied half up, half down, though some strands still fall into his crimson eyes that are dead-locked on you and Mina.

He gives you both a toothy smile, cocking the brow that is pierced. “Well, look who decided to grace us with their presence,” he chuckles. “Two of the prettiest girls to exist.” Bakugou rolls his eyes at his friend’s words. “Stop being such a fuckin’ simp, man,” he groans. 

Kiri only laughs. “You’re just jealous is all.” He sticks his tongue out at Bakugou before handing you and Mina the drinks. “For you, m’ladies. Figured you’d get some now before other guests arrive. Deku and Ochako are running late, Shoto will be here later after visiting his siblings, and I think some other folks are coming.” 

“Thank you, babe,” Mina giggles and wraps her arms around Kiri’s neck. He returns the embrace, squeezing her against him before taking a handful of her ass with one muscular hand. “Who the fuck told you to come out the house like this?” he playfully growls as she squeals in his ear. 

You stand there awkwardly, not knowing what to do except sip your drink. God, you wish you were between that, feeling Mina’s breasts pressing against your front while Kiri holds your hips from behind, the hard planes of his chest pushing into your back. You picture the two of you together on the dance floor, hips rolling and lost in the bliss, hands caressing and lips on each others’ necks. 

“Oi, don’t drool on my floor, dummy,” Bakugou playfully growls into your ear. You startle, looking at his humored smirk. “I’m not drooling,” you hiss. 

His smile still doesn’t slip from his face. “You ain’t tell ‘em yet?” he asks, nodding at Mina and Kiri who are now laughing to each other about something Denki did an hour before they arrived, Kiri’s eyes loving and adoring as they regard Mina. “And don’t give me no dumb shit and say, “tell ‘em what”. You know what I mean.” 

Even if you wanted to play dumb, you don’t think you’d have the energy to. You take a sip of the lemon drop, hoping the taste of sugar, citrus, and vodka will help ease the tension you feel watching your friends canoodle as they stand at the bar now. “No,” you whisper to Bakugou. “And I never will. They’re my friends, Katsuki, and they’re dating.” 

“You know poly is a thing, right?” he asks like you’re an idiot. You roll your eyes so hard into your head that you swear they’ll roll out your skull. Yes, of course, you know that polyamorous relationships are a thing! You’ve never been in one before, but you know you want one with them. 

“Yes, fuck!” you hiss, irked. “Of course, I do, but just because it’s a thing doesn’t automatically mean they’d be down for it…or that they feel the same way!” 

“Who feels the same way?” Mina questions, now suddenly beside you. Kiri stands behind her with his own beer, cracking the bottle cap open with no problem. “Uh, no one!” you immediately answer. “Nothing! We were just…talking. Right, Bakugou?” 

Bakugou looks at you and then at Mina and Kiri, not even blinking. With a sip of his drink, he silently walks away, heading back to the VIP section to stop Denki from dry fucking Jirou on his coffee table and Sero’s horrible singing by impressive dancing to the reggaeton now blaring from the speakers above. Without him as a buffer, you feel awkward and embarrassed standing in front of your attractive, gorgeous, sexy friends. 

“Hey, why don’t we sit?” Kiri suggests with a grin. “Wouldn’t want either of you to get knocked over in these things.” He taps his foot against Mina’s pumps and then your four-inch heels. “How the hell you walk in those?” 

“These aren’t even that high, Kiri,” you giggle, stopping abruptly when he puts his large hand on your lower back. The light touch of his fingertips on your skin leaves a trail of fire in their wake. “I know nothing about women’s shoes and I’m glad I don’t,” he chuckles as he leads you and Mina to another lounge section. “By the way, you look really good tonight. Red is definitely your color.” 

The compliment has you flushing. “Doesn’t she?” Mina squeals happily. “I had to make the girl get the dress ‘cause she was adamant about not wearing it. Doesn’t she look like she’ll get some good dick by the time the party ends?” She smirks at Kiri who lets out a loud, belly laugh. 

“Mina!” you shriek, embarrassed. “Or pussy!” Mina adds with a devious giggle. “Sorry, girl. Can’t forget you go both ways.” You roll your eyes as you take a seat on the black loveseat presented to you farther away from the commotion of the party. “You’re impossible, and you’re not even drunk yet.” 

Mina winks at you, sipping her martini. “Nearly there.” Kiri takes a seat next to you first before circling an arm around Mina’s waist and positioning her to sit in his lap. His left arm settles there protective while his right moves to sling around the back of the couch, right behind your neck, still holding his beer. Like he’s protecting both of his girls. The nagging thought makes you sip your drink a little slower. 

“So what’s been up, stranger?” Kiri asks, flashing you an easy grin that makes your stomach flutter. “You’ve been good? Mina says you’ve been getting better since that dickhead dumped you. And on your second anniversary?” He shakes his head disappointedly. “That’s so unmanly.” 

“Tell me about it,” you sigh despondently. “I’m much better than last month. You should’ve seen me–nothing but tears, ice cream, and wine bottles. Mina will tell you.” Mina nods, clarifying your statement. Kiri frowns, not happy with hearing that. “Shit, Y/N. Why didn’t you come hang with us all that time? Was starting to think you hated us.” 

He says it like he’s kidding, but you can tell from his slightly saddened gaze that he means it. You feel even worse now. “I don’t hate you, silly,” you softly giggle. “But I’m sorry for making you both feel like that. I just didn’t wanna be reminded of what I didn’t have anymore.” You tick a finger between him and Mina. 

Kiri raises his pierced brow. “That’s why you always leave when I visit you and Mina? Or why you never come out with us anymore?” Your face burns with embarrassment. “I know it sounds stupid, but–” 

“Y/N,” Kiri cuts in, sounding serious, “if you were ever feeling uncomfortable with Mina and me showing each other affection in front of you, you could’ve said so. Especially since you just got broken up with. We would’ve been more mindful of how you were feeling.” 

Mina nods, agreeing, and takes your hand from across Kiri’s lap. “We love you just as much as we love each other,” she says, her soft voice serious and firm. “You’re our third piece, you know.” 

Third piece. Like another missing piece to a puzzle. Like the answer to an equation. Maybe it’s the alcohol starting to talk, but something in those words fills you with so much warmth and fuzziness that you have to shift in your seat to make yourself comfortable. “Thanks, guys,” you manage to giggle. “I feel much less like an idiot now.” 

“You should feel like an idiot for thinking we wouldn’t notice your change in behavior, dummy!” Mina pokes your cheek, making you and Kiri laugh. “But there’s nothing like a little alcohol that can change that.” She clinks your glass with yours, her glossy lips shining under the flashing lights. “How about it, Y/N? You down with hanging with us tonight?” Kiri’s eyes lock with yours, the softness in them pleading with you to stay. 

You didn’t have to be told twice. 

The next hour rolls by in flashes; clips that you know you won’t be able to remember come tomorrow. At some point, you notice Deku and Uraraka sneak in holding hands and give them a wave. Shoto slinks in as well alongside Hitoshi and Iida, who looks way out of his element here. Momo and Tsuyu come too, and you, Mina, and the rest of the gang of U.A. 1 girls chat for a while about your outfits and relationships before Kiri steals you and Mina away again.

In the hour, you consume about two martinis, two tequila shots, and a shot of Henny that is coaxed by Bakugou walking around telling people to drive the boat. “And no hands!” Denki had yelled beside Bakugou, just as ready to see you and Mina down a shot with a phone in hand and the camera light in your face. “But I get to pour it,” Kiri prompted, already moving to snatch the bottle out of Bakugou’s hands. 

Bakugou put up his hands in defense, allowing his friend to first pour a shot down Mina’s throat. The girl was ready, throwing her head back with her mouth open. “Tongue out,” Kiri had demanded in a low growl you’ve never heard before, and it sent a flutter between your legs that you had to clamp shut by crossing your legs. 

Mina did as she was told, sticking her pink tongue out to catch the stream of Henny that poured from the bottle. She took it gladly, swallowing it and then giving a gaping Bakugou and Denki a grin. She then looked at you with a mischievous smile. “You’re next, kid,” she giggled as Kiri loomed on you, a wide smirk on his face. “Don’t worry, cutie,” he chuckled at your horrified expression. “You can take it. I know you can.” 

Before you could respond or even tell your mind to stop getting in the gutter, Kiri was already coaxing your mouth open, tongue out, and the Henny was pouring down your throat in a short but strong stream. You swallowed it, feeling the short burn in your throat and then the warm feeling that wrapped around you later once it started settling. Mina squealed happily, hugging you tightly while Denki drooled and Bakugou went in search of new people to harass. 

After that, the alcohol really started settling in. You could tell from the warmth you felt all over your body and the way your stomach felt like it was filled with butterflies. Not to mention the way your pussy clenched. Mina and Kiri sitting so close to you don’t make it any better.

You all now sit with Mina in between you and Kiri on the loveseat, arms thrown over your shoulders. Her heels are off and her lip gloss is gone, her head tilted up to the ceiling as she mouths the words to SZA’s “Love Galore”. You look over at Kiri and see him swaying to the music, eyes hooded. You’re not sure if he’s tipsy too, but you wouldn’t put it passed him. 

“Ah, I’ve missed this,” Mina sighs contently. “Just us. Being together like this.” She puts one foot in your lap and wiggles her painted toes. “You say it like we’re all in a relationship or something,” you giggle and then freeze, realizing what you just said. God, is the alcohol really that strong? 

Mina stares at you, her gaze softer than normal. “Aren’t we though?” she questions. “Aren’t we all one big happy family?” You blink at her, not sure what she means or why it makes you feel so warm. 

Kiri must notice the tension because he lays a hand on his tipsy girlfriend’s shoulder. “Mina, baby…” But Mina is still giving you that soft-eyed gaze, one that makes your heart beat ten times faster.

“I think what she means is that things feel natural when it’s all three of us, you know? Like three peas in a pod.” He gives you a friendly, lopsided smile that eases the strange energy in the air between you. He sits back, sipping some of his beer. “But it’s better when you’re happy and comfortable.” 

Now you realize what Mina meant: you really are like a big, happy family. You, Mina, and Kiri, together. Two people you trust wholeheartedly with your secrets and weird habits. Two people you can count on to have your back through everything. The newfound knowledge makes you want to cry. You blink away the tears in a hurry, not wanting them to think you’re that drunk. Damn those fucking drinks! 

“I am,” you answer honestly, looking into Mina and Kiri’s eyes.  “And…I’ve missed you guys too. I like us together like this too.” Your words make them both grin happily, the sights of them making your heart swell.

“Come on, girly,” Mina giggles. “Bring it in closer!” You scoot over and hug her to you, breathing in her scent of perfume, sweat, and strawberry.

Kiri wraps his muscled arms around both of you, squeezing tight even as you wheeze and Mina cries out for him to ease up. “Kiri, you’re crushing me!” you shriek with laughter. 

“Not a chance,” he grunts playfully, but he eases up enough to allow you both to breathe.

You feel oh-so-happy you could kiss both of them. You were so worried that things would be awkward or that you’d ruined everything after not hanging with them as much, but now you realize how stupid those thoughts were. You’re so filled with love for them that you could just grab them and hold them, run your hands over them, feel your tongue caress theirs as you– 

“Oh, boy.” Kiri’s voice stops your heated thoughts from taking flight, his eyes directed towards the DJ stand where Denki stands with the mic in one hand and a red solo cup in the other. “Turn the fuckin’ music up!” he slurs into the mic. “I wanna see some ass! Ladies, single or not, get out on this fuckin’ floor!” 

The DJ is happy to oblige, switching to a mix of City Girls, Megan Thee Stallion, and a bit of those 90s songs like Uncle Luke and 2 Live Crew that make you want to hit the splits and throw your ass in someone’s face with your drunk ass. Mina squeals, already standing up and moving her hips, happy with the song change. 

“You heard Denki’s drunk ass,” Kiri chuckles to you. “Ladies first.” He motions his hand for you and Mina to go first. You stand on legs that suddenly feel like jelly and walk with a dancing Mina to the dance floor where it’s beyond packed. Mina takes your hands in hers and moves with you to the music, no ass-throwing yet.

Kiri stands protectively behind Mina, not touching her but still keeping watch. You giggle, moving your hips with her, and though your dance moves are pretty tame, it’s enough to attract someone from off to the side of the dance floor. And his eyes are on you. 

The guy is pretty nice-looking, but he’s not familiar. His leering presence is enough to make Kiri move in, standing between you and Mina, and the stranger. “Ah, sorry, dude. She’s with me.” Mina, finally paying attention, flashes a smile at the guy. “She’s with us, actually,” she adds with a wink. 

The stranger puts up his hands in defense and slinks away, but Kiri never moves away. Mina turns to you and wraps her arms around you, pulling you closer. “Right, Y/N?” she purrs to you, so close you can smell her perfume and peppermint gum mixed with the vodka on her breath. “Aren’t you with us?” 

The scent of her perfume, the closeness of her, and the alcohol are all making it very hard to focus or even speak. She doesn’t allow you time to think of a response before she’s whipping around and bending her knees, winding her pretty ass all up into you. Though you’ve done this plenty of times with her, it feels so much different now. Kiri laughs from beside you as his girlfriend pops off, even hitting a split before picking herself back up and proceeding to leave her breathless. 

“You’d better catch it, cutie,” Kiri chuckles. “Mina doesn’t play when she throws it.” He gives you a wink, telling you something only you can catch. “Oh, I know,” you laugh. “Neither do I.” Catching Mina by surprise, you whirl her around so she’s standing behind you and throw your ass into her. She gladly allows it, her hands gripping your hips to push into hers. 

“Shouldn’t you be the one in my position, sir?” Mina playfully scolds, and for a moment you forget Kiri is still here. “Get your ass over here!” You stand up straight as Mina pulls Kiri towards you and moves to stand behind him, her hands on his hips. 

“Oh, I don’t…” The words die in your throat as you get a look at Kiri’s hard chest and how close he is. You can feel his hot breath fanning your face and the cologne he’s wearing smells so damn good. Why does God punish you so? “It’s okay, Y/N!” Mina laughs from behind her boyfriend. “Throw it back on him, girl!” 

Kiri looks down at you, the multi-colored lights flashing across his handsome face and hooded eyes. “You heard her,” he whispers, a cheeky grin on his face. “Lemme see what you got, cutie.” 

He’s called you “cutie” so many times before, but this feels different. Personal. You’ve danced with him before too, of course, but never like this: so intimate and nasty, your ass winding into his hips that push into yours, moving in time with the beat. But you’re too gone in the alcohol, the music, and the closeness of Kiri to think rationally. 

You can see why Mina always brings Kiri to parties and clubs with her because the man can keep up. At one point, he picks you up and bounces you up and down against him, your titties jiggling in your bra and hair flying, your and Mina’s shrieks of laughter heard among you. He does the same thing to Mina too, leading you to hype him up and take your phone out to snap a video. You can only imagine what the man can do in bed with moves like that. 

After the freaky music ends, it only gets freakier, the tempo growing slower and more sensual. You recognize the song now playing as that mashup between Beyoncé’s “Cuff It” and Twista’s “Wetter” (Remix here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbyPBIy_qYA). The energy on the floor shifts as bodies begin to bump and grind under the lights.

The energy in the air shifts too as Mina suddenly moves behind you, sandwiching you between herself and Kiri. “Now we switch,” she giggles softly, the sound breathy and barely above a whisper. “Stand close to me. Don’t want you gettin’ away from us this time.” 

You find yourself unable to speak as both press against you from the front and the back, Mina’s hands on your hips and grinding herself into your ass. Kiri has his hands on Mina’s ass, meaning his arms around wrapped around you since you’re sandwiched in between. “Is this okay?” he whispers against the shell of your ear. “Still feelin’ good, babe?” 

“I…I…” Your words are soft and weak. You wanna tell him you feel like a prisoner in a very sexy and tempting jail cell, but how the fuck would that sound?

Kiri smiles down at you, his gaze less than friendly. “I know I told you already,” he whispers, “but you look really good tonight. And you’re wearin’ my color.” He inhales sharply as one hand moves to run down your hip, his fingers gliding across the fabric. “You don’t know what that does to me.” 

Your mouth is parted with unspoken words, your mind desperately trying to make sense of what’s happening. Before you can, Kiri twirls you around so you’re facing Mina and he’s behind you, his hard body swaying with both of yours. Mina wraps her arms around your shoulders and moves closer so you’re chest to chest, stomach to stomach.

You can’t focus on anything other than how good this feels, being between them like this, where you feel as if nothing could ever touch or harm you. You find yourself leaning your head back into Kiri’s chest, neck exposed to his lips or teeth if he wishes to take a bite of you. You’d welcome it. 

But it isn’t Kiri who decides to assault your neck in kisses. It’s Mina. The scent of her strawberry shampoo hits your nostrils as her lips caress the exposed skin of your neck. You resist the urge to whimper, and you don’t know whether you should push her away or welcome her.

“We should…we shouldn’t…” The words coming from your mouth are barely audible, even to you. The scent of Kiri’s cologne and Mina’s lips on your neck are enough to silence you as your pussy clenches in your panties. 

Just as the song changes to something just as slow and sensual, specifically that Ariana Grande x Ciara mashup that you’ve found Mina winding her hips in the kitchen many times to (Remix here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMfl3yOQ3us) and you begin to think the DJ is trying to get the dance floor pregnant, Mina moves her head from your neck to look at you. Her gaze is soft and hungry, less than friendly. 

The air is charged, shifting to something completely different. Something heated and tempting, nasty yet sensual. Then, like a full moon, Mina’s face gets closer to yours and her lips are suddenly on yours. They’re soft and slightly sticky from the remains of the Fenty gloss that coated her lips. Your eyes are open, wide with shock, and her lips move against yours, the tip of her wet tongue caressing your bottom lip, but not coaxing it open. 

The kiss lasts for what feels like an eternity, but it’s only for about twenty seconds at the least. In that moment, your mind goes blank and all words cease to exist. Mina’s eyes flutter open to look at her, her golden irises soft. “Thank God for those martinis,” she sighs softly. “Or else I wouldn’t have been able to finally do that.” 

You blink at her, silent, not understanding what the fuck just happened. But that’s stupid because of course you do! Your friend, your beautiful, amazing, talented, sexy best friend, just kissed you in the middle of the dance floor. “W-What?” you dumbly ask. “What did you do?” 

Mina is still giving you that soft, longing look as her arms drop from your neck. “Would you believe it if I told you that I’ve been crushing on you since our U.A. days?” she asks as if afraid to find out the answer. 

You blink again, rapidly, making sure this isn’t a dream or some hallucination from inhaling too much weed. “Wh-What?” you dumbly, idiotically, stupidly, and drunkenly ask again. 

“She’s not the only one, cutie,” Kiri guiltily says from behind you. You turn to face him and he’s giving you an apologetic look. “I’m guilty of that too. But we were all such good friends back then too that I didn’t wanna say anything.” 

Mina nervously wrings her hands together, looking less than confident. “Me either. And then Kiri and I started dating, and we both admitted to each other our feelings for you. We just weren’t sure if we should ever say anything, especially when your ex came into the picture. I mean, poly relationships aren’t exactly new, but they’re still kinda taboo in society, y’know? They’re misunderstood.” 

Kiri nods, agreeing. “Plus, we’ve never been in a poly relationship before, so it’s still new to us too.” He rubs the back of his neck, causing his tricep to bulge. 

You look between your two friends who look like they wanna dig their hands in the sand and never come out, and you can’t believe anything they’re saying. This has to be a dream, right? There’s no way this is real. It’s just too good. Too sweet. Too much of a blessing. Your mind races as you attempt to process their words and confessions, and the fact that they feel the same way as you. “Shit.” It’s all you can muster. 

Mina’s eyes widen an inch and she looks downright terrified. “Fuck, we’re overwhelming you, aren’t we?” she laments. “I knew we should’ve waited! I fucked up with that kiss, didn’t I?” She moves to back up, nearly bumping into someone, but Kiri grabs her arm to stop her. “Mina, baby, relax.” 

“You didn’t!” you say loudly, your hand shooting out to stop her from leaving. Then again, softer, “You didn’t.” Mina blinks, surprised. You lick your dry lips and will yourself to tell the truth. It’s too late to turn back now. “My ex broke up with me because he knew my heart lied with another,” you softly admit as you take Kiri’s hand into other empty hand. “Or rather two others.” His eyes widen in realization. 

“I’ve wanted you both for a long time now,” you softly admit, even as the heat in your cheeks rises and you want the floor to swallow you up whole. Especially as the silence between you swells uncomfortably so. 

Suddenly, Kiri’s gaze grows hooded and dark, all kindness gone. “Fuck,” he growls, unable to stop himself now. He grabs a hold of you by your waist and allows you to let out a tiny gasp of surprise before his lips are suddenly on yours. His lips is a little less soft than Mina’s, but still sensual and careful, his tongue asking for access to your mouth by caressing your bottom lip. 

You allow it, your mouth parting so his tongue can slip in and caress yours. You can taste the liquor, the slight tang of beer, and mint gum in his mouth as his tongue dances with yours, the feeling making you moan softly against his lips. You’re aware of Mina’s hands on your hips and her lips on your neck, making you want to shake from the feeling. This is just too much. The high is just too good. 

The sound of wolf whistles and Bakugou’s cackling in the mic make you and Kiri jump away, the kiss leaving you lightheaded. “Awww, shit, they fucking on the dance floor!” Denki hollers into the mic. “Get some!” He is still standing with the DJ as Bakugou and Sero laugh from beside him, both making obscene gestures at Kiri who flushes. 

Mina gives them the finger and turns to you both, her gaze electric. “Let’s go somewhere more private,” she whispers. You can’t agree more, and neither can Kiri. His calloused hand, rough from years of training and hero work, grab yours and Mina’s, practically dragging you off the dance floor to the banister leading up the winding staircase to Bakugou’s upstairs area. 

“No fucking in my bedroom, nerds!” Bakugou yells into the mic.

“Use protection!” Sero calls after you all as you practically run upstairs, Kiri nearly knocking one guy down as he stands blocking the stairs.

You don’t stop moving until you’re finally upstairs, hidden away from the prying eyes and ears of the party. The hallway is long and dark, many of the doors leading to guest rooms reserved for only Bakugou’s closest friends. His grand bedroom, which is right down the hall, is locked, the only doors open being some guest rooms and the bathroom on the left. 

“In here,” Mina whispers, already cracking open an unlocked door to a grand guest room. Kiri lets you and Mina slink in first before he walks in, shutting the door behind him.

The guest room is quite beautiful and clean with a flat-screen mounted on the wall and facing a king-sized bed covered in a soft, black comforter, a nightstand, a private bathroom, and a sliding glass door that leads out onto a balcony where the moonlight shines into the bedroom, lighting the darkness. It doesn’t appear that the door has an inside lock, but you doubt anyone will come upstairs to find you…or you hope not. 

You find yourself not really caring, especially when you’re standing in a room, alone, with your longtime crushes finally. Mina stands in the middle of the room, the moonlight making her hair look like a halo. She looks beautiful.

“Finally,” she sighs, exasperated. “I thought I was gonna have to start fucking you on the dance floor.” She steps toward you, eyes sensual slits. She takes her time; a predator assessing her prey. 

She doesn’t speak as she continues to saunter towards you and you don’t move. Your feet are frozen in place. She finally makes it to you and wraps her arms around your waist, bringing you close. “Now tell me all about how long you’ve wanted us.”

Her lips find yours once more, caressing your mouth. Her tongue slips into your mouth and swirls against yours for a few seconds before her lips suck gently against your mouth. A tiny moan leaves her lips at the soft sunction, the words taken right from your lips. 

As she gently releases your tongue, a thin strand of saliva glints between your mouths that seem to make you wetter. It even affects Kiri–you can hear the soft groan that leaves his lips from somewhere behind you. Mina gives you a playful smile, her eyes never leaving yours as her pink lips coat your neck and collarbone in kiss, her fingers dancing across your back. 

You moan softly at the feeling of her everywhere all at once. “Mina…” Her name is a sigh on your lips. 

“Tell me all about how much you’ve wanted to kiss me,” she coos, her lips like a sweet drug to you. You just want more. “Or kiss Kiri.” She pulls away and gazes at Kiri who has been standing there respectfully behind you but his fists are clenched and his joggers aren’t doing much to hide the bulge there. Your eyes widen at the size. He’s huge. 

Mina giggles to herself as her fingers glide down your hips. “I bet you’ve been dreaming about trying him for yourself, hm? Well, now’s your chance. We get to share him tonight.” Your mouth drops at her words and you stare at her, dumbfounded. She must take your reaction wrong because her smile fades, her eyes nervous. “I-If that’s what you want.” 

If that’s what you want. ‘Does a bear shit in the forest?’ you think. Of fucking course that’s what you want!

Kiri steps a little closer, still giving you space to feel comfortable. “No pressure, cutie,” he softly, encouragingly, says. “This is all about you. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think about this a few times.” A light dusting of red coats his cheeks, matching his stark red hair. 

All about you. The words are sweet but they don’t make you feel too good. You don’t want tonight to just be about you. You shake your head slowly at Kiri. “No. It’s about us.” You take his hand, bringing him closer to you and Mina. To his girls. “I’ve wanted this since our U.A. days. I’ve thought about us, together, like this.” 

The happy smile that crosses both Kiri and Mina’s lips makes your heart flutter. If you got a contact high from all that weed and hookah smoke floating about downstairs, then this is the best hallucination ever. Mina wastes no time cupping your face in her hands and kissing you again, passion and words left unsaid for years exploding through that one move. You return the kiss, moving your hands to hold her slim waist against you. Your tongue glides into her mouth, unable to get enough of your touch.

“Fuck, Y/N,” she softly moans into your mouth. “You taste so good.” The sound of your name on her lips, so lewd yet so sweet, goes straight to your clit, making the tiny bud jump in your panties. 

You’re hyper aware of Kiri’s strong hand caressing your back as you and Mina makeout, lips and tongues dancing with one another. “Fuck,” he exhaled sharply. “That is so fucking sexy, seeing you pretty girls kiss like that.” Pretty. He called you pretty. “Is it okay if I join?” 

Mina pulls away from the kiss and raises a brow at him, laughing. “Are you kidding me? That’s why you’re here!” She yanks him over, having him stand between you and her. “Get your sexy ass over here.”

Kiri is like a very sexy wedge between you and Mina, nothing but muscles and a 6 ft frame that towers over you but doesn’t make you feel intimidated in any way. You’d gladly let the man toss your ass around like a rag doll, fuck you any way he wants to. But it makes you even wetter to know he’d ask you first and do it how you want it done. 

“Is that okay with you?” he asks, eyes serious. You nod, unable to speak, but Kiri ain’t having none of that. His hand moves to caress your chin, making you flush. “Gimme a yes, cutie. Not just a nod.” 

You don’t know how you manage to speak, but the tiny “yes” that leaves your lips are enough for him. A smirk crosses his lips and it soaks your panties even more. “Good girl.” 

God, as if you couldn’t get any more aroused. Those two words make every single cell in your body come to life. Kiri doesn’t allow you time to process the words when his mouth finds yours, swooping in to give you one toe-curling kiss.

Mina, ever the observant little minx, notices your reaction to Kiri’s praise though and giggles. “Oooh, you found her weakness. She just loves being called a good girl. And a word of advice: she goes insane for praise too….and neck kisses.” 

Kiri pulls away, looking at her in surprise, and then at you. “Oh, yeah?” he asks, quirking curious a brow at you. 

“Hey!” you gasp as Mina pokes her tongue at you. Leave it to this sneaky bitch to use your confessions of kinks against you after many times of talking about sex between two girl friends. You eye Kiri, pursing your lips at him. “And I bet you know she loves a hand on her throat. And spankings.”

Mina flushes while Kiri smirks. “Oh, don’t I,” he growls. One hand comes down to smack Mina on the ass, the sound of his hand coming down onto her cheeks and Mina’s little yelp turning you on. “Little brat, ain’t she?” 

You nod in agreement as he turns back to you, his gaze softer now. “Before we go any further, is there anything you don’t want me to do or say? Any boundaries I shouldn’t cross?” 

“Uh…” You try to grasp for something to answer his question. Really, you’d let them both do whatever they wanted to you, but you can understand why he’s asking. This is the first time either one of you are together like this. So you answer honestly: “Not really. I don’t mind being called a slut. And I guess just let me know if you wanna do rougher shit with me.” 

Kiri nods, understanding, as Mina throws an arm around his neck. “Oh, don’t worry, pretty girl,” she purrs. “Kiri’s a gentleman. He’ll be as soft or as rough as you want him to be. You’re in good hands.” Your eyes trail over Kiri’s face, your eyes locking with his. “I know,” you whisper, only for him to hear. You trust him and Mina completely with your body, your heart, your soul. 

Those words make every single restraint Kiri had on himself crumble. “Come here, gimme that neck,” he growls, and his lips begin to assault your neck and shoulders, giving you the sweetest, wettest kisses everywhere he can reach. “Fuck, you feel so good against me,” he groans against your skin. “It took everything in me to not fuck you up on that dance floor.” 

The dirty secrets leaving his lips make you moan, throwing your head back, unashamed and unabashed. “So now you know we both wanted to jump your bones,” Mina purrs, now suddenly beside you, her breath fanning your face. “Watching you two like this is so…fuck. Why don’t we finally get out of these clothes?” 

Kiri pulls away, his look hungered. You don’t even think your ex looked at you in such a way. “I thought you wouldn’t fucking ask. I was so close to ripping those clothes off of both of you.” 

“That’s not gentleman-ly at all, sir!” Mina mockingly scoffs. “Bad boy. Now you’ll have to watch instead of us.” She lays a hand on Kiri’s hard chest and playfully pushes him back onto the bed. He falls back against the soft mattress with a light laugh, the sound making you laugh too. “Just watch us for now, baby. Relax and enjoy the show.”

The moonlight illuminates Kiri’s face and you can see every ounce of lust in them. “Fuck…Yes, ma’am.” He does as his girlfriend says, moving against the headboard to put his muscled arms behind his head, enjoying the show unfolding before him. 

Mina comes up behind you, her fingers reaching for the zipper to your dress. “Come here, pretty girl. Let me get this zipper down for you. Is that okay?”

At your slow nod, she slowly brings the zipper down until your dress pools at your heeled feet. She softly gasps at the familiar push-up bra and panty set that adorns your skin, and Kiri groans, recognizing it too. “Rihanna’s lingerie? Naughty girl. I bet you were hoping you’d get fucked tonight, didn’t you?” 

Her hands come to cup your ass, gliding all over your hips and lower back as her lips kiss the back of your neck. Her hands then glide to the front to cup your breasts, gently needing them in the lace cups of your bra. “Ah…” The sound leaves your lips, feeling like a release. 

“Probably not by two though,” she giggles, eyeing Kiri. He lays there, the tent in his joggers growing bigger. “Lucky me. You’re still in your clothes though, Mina. Don’t you wanna join our pretty girlfriend?” 

Girlfriend. Our girlfriend. Fuck, if you would have died now, you’d die a happy woman.

You turn to assist Mina, wanting to get your hands on her. “Lemme help.” She happily allows you to strip her off her clothes, leaving them discarded on the floor. She is just left in just her pumps, a black bra that brings out her pink skin, and a matching thong that makes her ass look immaculate. So many times you’ve dreamed of touching those impressive, toned globes, smacking it, squeezing it. 

She lets you do it now and you can’t stop yourself. Your hands have minds of their own as they glide all over her ass and hips, your lips on her neck. The sounds that leave her lips are music to your ears, testimates of how good you’re making her feet.

“Yes, baby, touch me,” she softly gasps. “Let me touch you too.” Her lips find yours as her fingers find your panties, sneaking between your thighs to touch your fabric-covered flit. “Fuck, Mina,” you moan, unable to hold back. 

Her hand doesn’t stop its slow but deliberate strokes against your clit, moving to cup your sex and grind her palm into your mound. Sparks of pleasure shoot into your clit at the feeling of her palm against it, the feeling making your toes curl in your heels. You don’t even remember that Kiri is there until he lets out a strained groan. “Fuck, I love watching you two.” 

Mina pulls away from you and turns to look at him, a sexy smile on her face. “We can tell.” You turn to look at him and you find his hand in his pants, stroking his hardened dick that is still hidden from view beneath his joggers. He smirks lazily at you. “You like seeing me stroke myself, baby girl?” he coos. “It’s okay, you can look. It just makes me harder for you.” 

You can’t look away, practically salivating at the sight of his hand moving up and down beneath the fabric of his pants. Mina unabashedly stares too, her chest rapidly moving up and down at the sight. “Maybe we should help him out, Y/N. Put him out of his misery.” Her eyes twinkle as she looks at you and then kneels down at the bedside. 

Kiri practically scrambles to move closer to her, putting his legs over the bedside so she can reach. She smiles up at you, curling her finger to beckon you forward. “Come on, kneel with me.”

You’re helpless to resist –both by the sight of Kiri’s bulge and the curve of her breast peeking out of her bra cup as one of her straps falls loosely down her shoulder. You kneel beside her, feeling quite sexy as you do. “Go ahead and take off his pants.” 

You oblige and reach for the waistband to Kiri’s joggers. He lifts his hips for you, giving you easier access to get them off his hips before lowering them back down. “Fuck yes,” he breathlessly says, “and I’ll work on my shirt.” 

You go to help, but he stops you. “Nah. I’ll take care of the rest of me. You just worry about getting my pants down, okay, cutie?” He winks at you, making you flush and giggle like a damn schoolgirl. “Okay,” you breathlessly reply. He works fast to strip himself of the flimsy tank, flinging it somewhere on the floor, forgotten and unimportant. 

As you move his joggers down his legs sinwey with muscle, your eyes graze his impressive body–it’s nothing but muscle, pecs that could make great pillows, a six-pack granted by hours of workouts and discipline. His hooded eyes meet yours as his pants are finally at his feet, and then in one swift motion, gone when you take them down. “Good girl…now take my dick out.” 

You’re happy to oblige, your hands quickly moving to pull him out. And good Lord, you needed a warning! When you wrap your hand around his his big, hard dick and pull it out, your mouth falls open. He’s big, thick, and curves upwards, nothing but veins and precum that bubbles at the head for you and Mina that leads up to a patch of trimmed, black curls that are his natural pubic hairs. He has the most beautiful dick you’ve ever seen. It’d give any male porn star a run for its money. 

You can’t stop yourself from licking your hand and wrapping it around the base and stroking up and down slowly. You tighten your grip enough to add friction, watching as soft sighs of pleasure leave Kiri’s lips. “That’s it,” he coos. “Fuck, your hand feels so good!” He throws his head back, exposing his neck and bobbing Adam’s apple to you. 

Mina giggles from beside you, intently watching you work Kiri’s cock. “Stroking him already? Greedy girl. You didn’t even give him time to breathe.” She moves closer, whispering in your ear. “Mmm, isn’t he so big? And so hard for us? Bet you’ve wondered what it’d feel like in your hand.” 

‘Yes,’ you think, lips parted in astonishment as you watch your hand stroke Kiri up and down, the skin there stretching at your movements. Precum continues to drip down your hand, leaving you salivating. You want to taste him. 

“That’s it, nice and slow,” Mina coos into your ear. You listen, still working Kiri just right. He must think so too because he moans and grunts at the feeling, not holding anything back. The sounds drift up to the ceiling and make you even wetter. You’re practically soaking the floor through your panties. 

“Listen to those moans!” Mina moans, just as aroused. “He’s just begging for you at this point. Should we give him a treat?” She looks at you, eyes glinting and smile mischievous. Kiri picks his head up to look at you both, eyes wide and greedy. “Both of you? Oh, fuck yes, please!” 

Mina laughs, kissing your shoulder. “You heard him, girl. Get those lips around that dick.” You do so, making quick work of putting your lips over your teeth to cushion Kiri’s cock as you put him in your mouth. You give him slow strokes of your mouth and kitten licks first, getting used to feel of his big dick stretching your mouth. Kiri shudders, his toes curling at the feeling of your wet, hot mouth and soft lips drinking him in. 

Mina watches, coaxing you by rubbing your back. “Mmm, that’s it. Enjoy it. He feels good stretching out your mouth, doesn’t he? Oooh, you look so good taking him like that.” She moans lewdly at the sight and you swear you could burst at this point. Talk about foreplay. “How does she look, Kiri, baby?” she hums. 

Kiri is in his world, eyes red slits as he looks at you taking his cock so well. “So…so fucking good! You look so pretty with my dick in your mouth, gorgeous.” His words filled with sweet praise make you go deeper, your hand still stroking his shaft. 

“Come on, baby, take him deeper,” Mina encourages, eyes drinking you in as you take your boyfriend’s cock. “Yes, yes, like that. Take all that dick down your pretty throat.” You do so, gagging slightly as Kiri’s cock enters your throat. What you can’t take you stroke, slowly gagging on his dick and breathing through your nostrils. 

Kiri is losing it. He writhes underneath you, an arm thrown over his face like he can’t believe how good it feels. “Fuck, Y/N! Taking my cock so good!” You moan against his dick, the vibrations too much for him as you continue to bob your head up and down, up and down, just like that, right there… 

Kiri’s moans get louder, strained. “Oh, God, b-baby!” he calls out. “You have to stop or I’ll…I’ll…” You moan encouragingly, nodding your head because yes, you want him to cum. You want every ounce of his cum in your mouth, coating your tongue and throat. 

“Stop.” Mina’s stern voice stops you and reluctantly, you move away from Kiri’s dick now dripping in saliva and precum. His big balls are the same, glistening in the moonlight. Kiri’s chest moves up and down rapidly, his skin coated in sweat. “Don’t want him to blow a load before I’ve gotten a taste yet,” Mina purrs. “Move over, greedy girl.” 

You slowly move over to give her room, unhanding Kiri. Your hand and lips are coated in spit, but you don’t wipe it away. You like yourself like this for some reason. Mina giggles at you, bumping your hip with hers. “Don’t just sit there, silly. Help me out. Stroke his shaft and his balls for me. He loves that.” 

And then she’s taking Kiri in her mouth, giving him short strokes before taking her in her throat with ease. Your eyes widen at the sight of Kiri’s fat dick stretching out her mouth, but she gladly takes it all, her golden eyes looking straight at your helpless, writhing boyfriend. Your hand, still wet from stroking Kiri, palms his balls, gently kneading the soft skin there. 

“Ohhh, my fucking God!” he practically screams to the ceiling above. “So…so good…” He’s so loud that you glance at the door for a moment, worried someone will come walking in to see what’s up. But then again, if they hear the moans coming from Kiri’s luscious mouth, maybe they’ll think twice about it. 

As you use one hand to massage Kiri’s sobbing wet balls and stroke what Mina can’t fit in her mouth, you watch as your beautiful friend-turned-girlfriend gags on your sexy friend-turned-boyfriend’s dick. She’s an expert at it, taking him with ease, little gagging and slurping sounds leaving her lips.

Spit drips from her lips and down Kiri’s shaft, spilling into your palm and making your hand extra slick. Only the sounds of Mina’s mouth and Kiri’s wanton moans and grunts fill the air with the bumping of the music muffled from downstairs. 

Finally, Mina comes up for air with a big gasp, popping off of Kiri’s cock with a wet pop! She smiles at you, lips slick with saliva. “And now we switch again. You take him in your throat while I stroke him.”

You practically pounce on Kiri, devouring his dick like it’s your last meal. You take him in your open throat, breathing through your nose, and welcoming Kiri’s hips bumping up into your mouth. “Yeah,” he raspily grunts, “take it, baby girl. Take my dick.” 

The dirty, praise-filled words leaving his lips that are usually reserved for words to make you smile, laugh, and encourage you makes you sobbing wet, so much so that you slowly grind against nothing just to try to ease the aching in your poor, needy clit.

Mina’s hand curls around the back of your neck. “So eager, aren’t you?” she whispers, her eyes drinking in the way you take Kiri’s cock. “Is it okay if I push your head down?” 

“Mmm-hmm!” you mumble, nodding your head for extra measure. Mina giggles at this, moving her hand to spank one cheek. “Naughty girl.” Her hand places itself at the back of your head, gently pushing your throat farther down Kiri’s dick until you’re gagging around it and tears prick the corner of your eyes. 

Kiri is a mess underneath you, grabbing your shoulders, eyes rolling to the back of his head. Mina keeps her head there, giving you the naughtiest words of encouragement that are worthy of a porno. “Yes, baby girl, gag on that dick,” she whispers in your ear. “Take all of it the way you want to. Make him fucking scream for you.” 

You do so, moving your head up and down as much as Mina will allow you, stroking Kiri’s dick with your throat. He grows bigger, thicker, in your mouth, and you know it’s only a matter of time until he cums. “Fuck me!” he gasps loudly, the volume of his voice going straight to your core. “Wait, wait, Y/N, baby, stop!”

His pleas make Mina’s hand fall from your head and you release him. You look up at him, curious as to why he wants you to stop before he could cum down your throat. He stares down at both of you, chest heaving, crimson eyes glowing in the moonlight. “Fuck, you both got me so close. You’re both so good at sucking cock!” 

Mina glances at you, wiggling her brows. “Oooh, you hear that, Y/N? First time and you’ve already got him fiending for you.” You let out a breathless giggle, happy with that fact. “So why not let yourself cum in our mouths?” Mina innocently asks Kiri, tilting her head to the side. 

Kiri smirks at her. “Because we’ve barely gotten started. I haven’t even tasted either of you for myself.” 

  You shiver in anticipation, wanting whatever he’s giving. “Well, why didn’t you say so?” Mina giggles and helps you stand on wobbly legs from kneeling for too long. “Maybe you should go first, Y/N. After all, this is new for you too.” She gets on the bed next to Kiri, spreading her toned legs for you to lay in between. “Just lean back against me.” 

You don’t have to be told again. You scramble to get up on the bed to join them and lean against Mina, your back against her front. “Let Kiri get a good look at these pretty little panties,” she hums, her fingers moving to pry your legs apart so your panties are on full display. “He’s practically salivating for a taste of these lips.” 

Her fingers play with your panty-covered pussy for a few seconds, warming you up and making you crazy from not feeling her soft fingers against your naked pussy. Finally, she moves your panties to the side, the fabric covering your lips coming back shiny with your wetness. Kiri’s eyes widen an inch from seeing how wet you are, especially when Mina’s index and middle fingers gently dip into the wetness.

“M-Mina!” you moan, throwing your head back against her shoulder. She softly giggles, her fingers gently moving upward to toy with your clit, rubbing it in gentle circles. 

“Fuck,” Kiri growls, primal and insane with arousal. He gets into position, moving his head between your thighs but never ducking down to taste you for himself. Instead, he looks at you, asking for permission with his molten hot gaze. “Tell me what you want from me, baby girl. Tell me where you want my mouth before I lose my fucking mind.” 

Mina’s ministrations and his gaze don’t allow your mind to think clearly, too clouded by need and arousal. “I…” 

“You want them on your lips?” Kiri lowly asks before moving to plant a kiss on your mouth. “Or maybe not there…but on your gorgeous tits?” His hands slowly move to take down the straps to your bra, causing your pretty breasts to gently fall out. He pulls the cups down lower so he can suck your tits right, his tongue swirling around the hardened peaks of your nipples. When he nibbles at one with those damn teeth, it damn near makes you crazy. 

You let out a strained moan and a whimper, toes curling at the feeling. “You like that?” Kiri asks, voice slightly muffled by his lips against your tits. “God yes!” you cry out as he continues, his mouth like a drug to you as Mina continues to play with your clit, your pussy gushing.

Finally, she stops and moves to suck on her fingers, humming at your taste. “Don’t tease my poor girl, Eji,” she huffs. “Give her what she wants.” 

Kiri raises a brow up at her, moving from your tits. “Someone’s impatient and she isn’t the one getting touched yet.” Mina pouts at him. “You’re damn right,” she answers impatiently. “I’m dying to see how she looks writhing against your tongue.” 

Kiri chuckles, still not moving to touch or taste your aching, sobbing wet pussy. “Tell me what you want, pretty girl,” he murmurs to you, eyes locked on yours. “Say it to me.”

With his laser stare on you, it makes it hard to say the words, but the ache in your clit eggs you on. “I…I want…” You swallow hard, getting up the nerve to tell him to his handsome face. “I want your mouth on my pussy.” 

Kiri’s face brightens with realization. “Oh? I can do that.” He grins at you before ducking down, groaning at your shining, wet lips. “Fuck, you’re wet! Better not let this go to waste then.” He swoops in, his soft lips cushioning and pressing against your clit as his tongue dips inside you, swirling around, up and down. 

“O-Oh, fuck!” you choke out, the pleasure hightening your senses. Mina giggles from behind you as her hands curl around your front to toy with your breasts. “Does he feel good, pretty girl?” she asks, her index finger and thumb on both hands gently pinching your nipples. You cry out in response, too gone to give her a real answer. She laughs happily. “I guess that’s a yes.” 

Kiri is truly a champ when it comes to eating pussy. He laps at your wetness, alternating between gently sucking at your clit to dipping inside, his nose pressing deliciously against your clit.

Finally, he pulls away enough to speak, his lips coated in your juices. “Fuck, you taste so good!” he moans. “Such a good girl, giving me so much honey to taste.” He moves his index and middle fingers up to your mouth and wordlessly, you suck on them, coating them in your spit. 

He takes them out and slowly, very slowly, plunges them inside of you, curling them upward. Your toes curl and your back arches, the sounds leaving your lips sounding so unlike you. Who is this needy little slut in your place? “But, of course, you should know, only a naughty girl would want her pussy eaten and grinding her hips back into my face like this.” Kiri grins up at you. “Don’t you think so, baby girl?” 

He goes back to sucking on your clit for a few seconds, his fingers slowly moving in and out until he reaches that spot inside of you that makes you see heaven. “Oh, God, Kiri!” you practically scream. 

“Oh, I think so,” he giggles into your pussy. Fuck, even his giggles are hot! “I think your pussy thinks so too. She just keeps gushing around my tongue. How about we make you feel even better, hm?”

With that he slowly takes his fingers out of your wet depths and slides his tongue down your slit to your asshole, wet from your juices dripping down. Kiri? Eating ass? You knew he was an ass guy (hence being with Mina), but you didn’t know it was like that! 

His work on your asshole and pussy have you seeing stars, the sounds leaving you unable to be contained. Mina comments on them, cooing at you teasingly. “Aw, listen to those sounds you’re making! At this rate, someone will definitely find us up here. You just can’t help but let out those slutty sounds.” 

You turn slightly so you’re facing her pussy now and Kiri has to throw one of your legs over his shoulder to eat you out from the side. You press your hand against Mina’s panty-covered slit, the fabric wet and making it easy for friction. She gasps at the feeling of your fingers, her eyes going wide. “Oh, fuck!” she shouts, her voice loud and high. 

Kiri laughs at his girlfriend’s lewd sounds. “Now who’s got the slutty sounds? Trying to make her hit a high note, are you, Y/N?” 

You continue to rub Mina’s cunt, smiling at her whimpers and soft moans. “You…you sneaky little…” She inhales sharply, her words cut off by the pleasure. “I-If you’re gonna do that, at least move my panties out of the way.”

You raise a brow. “Oh?” you hum as you move her panties to the side, revealing her pink, puffy lips slick with wetness to you. “Like this?” 

Your fingers touch her clit gently, rubbing it in slow circles. Mina’s body lurches at the contact and a gasp leaves her pretty lips. “Yeah!” she gasps out. “Yeah, just like that!”

She grinds her hips into your hand, giving you better access to rubbing her clit, applying as much pressure as she wants. Her face is so pretty the way it’s screwed up in pleasure, eyebrows knitted and eyes closed. 

Kiri watches you intently and you can feel his cock stiffening against your inner thigh. “Fuck…you sure I can’t just watch you two do that?” he chuckles, but still ducks down to kiss your pussy. “Move that hand, cutie. Let me take it from here.” 

You do as he says and he proceeds to rub Mina’s clit with precision, going as fast as she wants him to. As he does that, he ducks down to suck on your clit, never letting up because that’s not Kiri’s way. You and Mina’s moans and whimpers fill the air, soft gasps and words of “please”, “faster”, and Kiri’s full name falling from your lips. 

You suddenly feel that pleasure building in your core, signaling your joyous end. “Oh, my God, Ejirou!” you cry out, using Kiri’s full government name. “I think…I think I’m gonna…” The words die in your throat.

Kiri looks up, eyes fucking feral. “You’re gonna cum, baby girl, hm? Go ahead. Give it to me. I can take all of it! Cum for me!” He ducks down to assault your clit again as his rubs against Mina’s clit get faster. 

“M-Me too!” Mina gasps out, her hips wining into her boyfriend’s hand. “Keep rubbing my clit like that, baby, and I’ll…” Her head falls back, mouth a silent O. You can feel that feeling rising, that bubble about to burst.

“No!” you desperately cry out. “No, stop!”

Kiri slowly moves his lips away from your pussy, confused. “No…?” 

He even slows down his hand on Mina’s clit. “No, no, please!” she cries out, whimpering as the pleasure dies. “Oh, fuck, I was so close, babe! Why did you…?” 

You move away from her and Kiri, sitting up on your knees to look into their eyes. “I want us all to cum together,” you softly confess despite the flush you feel at such a lewd confession. You look at Kiri, taking his hands in yours. “I want to finally feel that dick inside of me, and watch you fuck Mina too.” Your eyes lock with his, begging him to promise to do this for you. “I want you to make us cum like that.”

Kiri blinks at you, dumbfounded, and then his gaze darkens. “Fuck,” he exhales. “But how would we do that? I only have one dick, in case you didn’t realize it.” He nods down at the hardened extra leg he’s packing between his muscled thighs. 

Mina is one step ahead. She swoops in to peck Kiri on the lips. “I’ve got an idea,” she giggles and looks at you. “Babe, lay down for me.” You do so, laying on your back on the soft comforter, the fabric smelling faintly of lavender detergent.

Mina smiles. “Perfect.” She gets on top of you, throwing her soft, luscious legs on either side of your hips. She then arches her back and moves up to hover you, her tits now in your face. 

“Now, Kiri,” she purrs, “you get behind her so her pussy and my ass are right in your face. Perfect for switching between, right?” She wiggles her ass around enticingly and Kiri’s eyes follow her hips, hypnotized. 

“Ahh, I’ve got you,” he hums, moving as fast as the speed of light to settle himself behind Mina as she straddles you. This has got to be the hottest thing I’ve ever seen in my life, and I get to be a part of it? Fuck, that just about makes me wanna burst!” His enthusiasm is enough to make you laugh. 

“Uh-uh, not yet, daddy,” Mina gently scolds, and you swear Kiri and you share the same mind because you both look at Mina like she’s a plate of the finest dessert as soon as she says that. “Not until you fuck us both.” She looks down at you with a grin. “I wanna see this cutie explode all over your fat dick.” 

Her words and the anticipation drive you wild, your pussy gushing and clenching around nothing but air. “God, just fuck me now before I lose my shit!” you desperately plead, grinding your hips up into Mina. 

Kiri chuckles darkly, cracking his neck as he gently strokes his dick. “With pleasure,” he growls. “Put your hips up, baby.” You do so, lifting your hips so he can grasp them and align himself with you. “Good girl.”

His hand sneaks up Mina’s ass to spank her, the sharp sound making your pussy clench. “Fuck, this ass is just too perfect,” he murmurs, spanking Mina again who moans in delight. 

“As hot as this is, baby,” Mina breathlessly says, “I want to see Y/N bounce on your dick, if you don’t mind.” The third spank he gives her is sharper now, making her hiss at the contact. “Hush, you bratty girl,” he growls to her and she buttons her lip, a secretive smile on her face. Seeing them play this game, have this dynamic right in front of you, is the hottest shit ever. 

Kiri’s eyes glint at you as he looks down at you. “You ready, gorgeous?” he questions. You nod, even murmuring a “yes” in case he wants verbal consent. “And you know we can stop at any time, right?” he asks, eyes serious. Once again, you say “yes” and he needs no more persuasion to grasp your hips and slowly push his cock head into your pussy, separating your wet lips. 

Your eyes widen, feeling full already. Your hand immediately goes to grasp his muscled arm while the other grabs Mina’s thigh. “K-Kiri!” you belt out. Kiri is barely hanging on, eyebrows knitted and muscles clenched. “Fuck, you’re so tight!” he yells out, but manages to keep still enough to allow you time to adjust. “You okay?” 

“Y-Yeah,” you breathe out, welcoming Mina’s comforting rubs on the outside of your thigh. “Just give me a minute?” Kiri nods, staying put. “Of course.” Your ex wasn’t as well endowed as Kiri, so you’ll definitely need a few minutes to adjust. Kiri gives you that, coaxing you to relax and even moving underneath Mina’s body to rub your clit. His paitence, and Mina’s words of encouragement, allow your body to relax fully. 

“Okay,” you finally say. “Just go slow. You’re really big.” Kiri grins at your words. “Just take your time, baby girl. There’s no rush. We have all night for this.”

Before you can bring up this being Dynamite’s bedroom, Kiri growls out, “Fuck Bakugou” before pushing inside of you more. He goes slow, but still, you can feel the stretch and the slight burn as your walls stretch around him. You’re just glad you’re wetter than a lake at this point, allowing it to be easier with how slick you are. 

“Can you take him, baby?” Mina asks into your ear.” Yeah? You need a little help? How about I suck on these pretty nipples in my face?” She ducks to suck on your nipples, her strawberry-scented scalp in your nose. “And let me rub that cute little clit.” Her fingers move to play with your clit as Kiri moves out and then back in, nice and slow. 

Once he has that rhythm, he has it and he never lets it go. His hips slowly move against yours, his stroke game fucking immaculate. And Mina gets to feel this all the time?

Kiri’s dick has you seeing stars, the entire fucking galaxy exploding behind your eyelids as he strokes those parts inside of you that have you moaning and taking the Lord’s name in vain. “Oh, my God, Eji, yes!” you cry out, not caring if people hear you. Anyone would be this loud if they could get a feel of Red Riot’s dick inside of them. 

“Ohhh, yes, that’s good,” Kiri groans, still going slow. “You’re taking me…even deeper…you’re doing so good, baby, oh, my God!” He is vocal, never shutting up, and that makes you even wetter, allowing you to take him deeper. “Fuck me harder!” you cry out, your other hand letting go of Mina’s thigh to grasp Kiri’s other arm. “Please, Kiri, please!” 

Kiri does so, wanting to please you. His hips snap against yours a little harder, his stomach rubbing up against your clit. “Such a slutty girl,” Mina giggles, lips hovering over yours. “That’s it, baby, take that dick. Let yourself relax into him. Put a hand on that throat, Kiri. She likes that too.” You stare up at her, eyes wide and open-mouthed. “Oops!” she snickers. “Did I say that?” Oh, this bitch… 

Kiri obliges, wrapping a hand around your throat, but not squeezing. “Like that, gorgeous?” he asks, his voice dipping lower into a growl that sends your tummy into butterflies. “Hm? Is this what you fucking want?”

Fuck, if you get any wetter, you’re gonna soak the bed. “Yes! God, yes!” you scream out, unable to keep quiet from the sheer pleasure you’re feeling. 

Kiri continues to fuck you as he presses a kiss to Mina’s hair. “I’ll give you anything you want,” he groans. “Both of you. I’ll fuck you in every fucking way possible.”

His sweet yet sensual words awaken something inside of you. Something just as primal. “Promise?” you ask, biting the flesh of your bottom lip. 

Kiri’s hot gaze locks on you as he rolls his hips into you. “I fucking swear.” Mina moans from above you, her tits jiggling every time Kiri thrusts into you. “Keep saying shit like that and I’ll cum before you’ve gotten inside me.” 

Kiri immediately stops his movements. “Oh, no, the fuck you won’t.” He slips out of you slowly, making you feel empty. “Let’s take a break, babe. This bratty bitch still needs the same treatment, doesn’t she?”

He takes a handful of Mina’s hair and wrenches her hair back, Mina letting out a surprised gasp at the sudden switch in personality. He grins down at you, looking like a damn villian. “Watch me fuck her up.” 

With that, he aligns himself with Mina’s pussy and slides inside, only sticking his head in. Mina’s mouth falls open into a pretty O as her back arches. “Oh, fuck!” she shouts. “P-Please…go slow. I wanna feel you go in slow.” 

Kiri smiles brightly at this, pressing a kiss to her back. “Of course, babe.” He proceeds to slide into her slow, painfully slow, stretching her pretty, pink pussy out. “Anything…you…want.” Moans and whimpers fall from Mina’s lips as he begins to roll his hips into her ass. He looks down at you, one hand moving to palm your breast. “How about you, gorgeous? Want me to do something for you?” 

Your eyes drink in Mina, the sight of her like art–her dark-pink nipples hard, pretty tits jiggling in your face, toned stomach glinting with sweat where you’re sure she can feel Kiri’s dick. “Just fuck her harder,” you breathe out.

Kiri smiles anything but kind. “I can do that.” And does that he can. He fucks Mina right above you, hips snapping into her ass just the way she likes it. “Yeah, you like that, Mina?” he coos, hand still gripping her hair. 

Mina is fucking gone, eyes closed and mouth open. “Y-Yeah…that feels so good! Harder, daddy, please!”

Her using that title again makes Kiri fuck her harder, pounding her pussy until the sound of skin slapping and bed springs bouncing are all that fill the air besides Mina and Kiri’s lewd moans. You find yourself rubbing your clit at the show taking place above you, indulging in the best kind of porn as Kiri bounces the both of you with his thrusts. 

He chuckles as he looks down at your tits jiggle. “Look at you, babe: bouncing every time I fuck her. It’s almost like I’m fucking you too. Almost…” He stops and slides out of Mina despite her mewl of disappointment. “But not quite. You didn’t feel that stretch, did you, baby girl?” Without getting an answer, he slides into you again. “Now you do.” 

Your eyes go wide at the sudden feeling of being filled again, but he doesn’t give you a chance to process it before he’s fucking you again, hips rolling mercilessly into you. “Oh, my God!” you yell out, throwing your head back against the mattress.

Kiri grabs onto Mina’s hips, bumping her ass into him as he fucks you silly. “Fuck, the two of you are so fucking sexy,” he moans out. “I-I don’t know how long I can keep this up.” 

The need for his cum filling you up makes you desperate. Needy. Willing to say and do anything for it. “You can cum!” you yell out. “You can cum inside me! I’m on the pill!” 

Mina giggles from above you. “Me too. Eager little cumslut, aren’t you?” She dips down to assault your neck, palming at your breasts and rubbing her thumbs over the sensitive nubs of your nipples. 

But Kiri stops and slides out of you despite your moans of protest. “Nah,” he huffs. “Not yet. I still have to make sure you two get equal attention, don’t you? So I’m gonna keep switching back and forth between these pretty little pussies until you’re both ready to explode for me, okay?”

He doesn’t wait for an answer as he slides into Mina and rams into her, beating her pussy up. “Kiri, please!” she cries out, and you understand. Pleading for more and for less all at the same time, the pleasure too sweet. 

“You two just keep feeling good for me,” Kiri pants, every muscle coated in sweat. “Can you both do that for me?” He suddenly moves to lift one of Mina’s legs and fucks her that way, giving you a good view of her pussy stretching around his dick that slides in and out of her.

“Oh, my God, yes!” Mina cries out, tears pricking in her eyes at the pleasure. She looks down at you and you swear she’s never looked more beautiful. “Kiss me, baby. I wanna taste you.” 

You oblige, moving to kiss her as your hand moves against your clit, fingers rubbing the bud faster and faster until you can feel that dam about to break. “Oh, fuck, I’m so close!” you shout. “Please tell me you two are close!” Kiri nods frantically, teeth gritted at the feeling. “Yeah!” he stutters out. “S-So, so close!” 

But Mina stops you both. “Wait, Kiri. Stop.” He listens, his face coated in sweat and disappointment. “Oh, fuck, why? I was so, so close!” You were as well, the sweet feeling of release dying as you stop rubbing your clit. 

Mina looks back at him. “Because we wanna cum at the same time, right?” she purrs. “So why don’t you slip that dick out of me and put it between us instead? And you can still fuck us until we cum. With extra clit stimulation.” She turns to you, winking. “Does that sound good to the both of you?” 

Does that sound good to you? Shit, you’re just about the cum from the idea. “Fuck, Mina…” You squirm around beneath her, wanting to cum with them so badly. Kiri laughs at your neediness. “This cutie is practically begging for that. I’m down for it.”

He slips out of Mina and aligns his dick to meet your pussies just right. “Now hold still for me.”

You both do, waiting as patiently as humanly possible for him to finally slide his dick between your pussies. But when he finally does, you’re not prepared. The feeling of his hard dick stroking your clit between you and Mina as you grind your hips immediately, up and around, anything to get that release.

“Perfect,” Kiri grunts, hips rolling with yours. “Fucking perfect. Does it feel good for you girls as it does for me?” 

“So…so good!” Mina moans out, her hips grinding down into Kiri’s dick. “I can’t stop!” You know what she means. Your hips and your body have minds of their own, moving for that pleasure.

“Does it feel good for you too, babe?” Kiri asks, but you can’t speak. You can only answer with the lewdest sounds you’ve ever come out of your mouth; sounds that would put Mariah Carey’s career in a casket. 

Kiri and Mina laugh at your sounds much to your embarrassment. “I guess it does judging from those high notes,” he snickers, hips moving faster, harder. “You both needed this, didn’t you? A nice fucking for two pretty little sluts.” 

“Keep fucking us like that and we’ll show you how much we needed it,” Mina softly growls, just as feral as you. He does so, grabbing Mina’s shoulder and your thigh before fucking the shit of you both, his cock mercilessly stroking your clits.

“Yeah, like that!” you yell out, practically babbling and drunk from the pleasure. “Keep fucking us like that, daddy!” 

Kiri’s eyes snap to yours at the title, his crimson eyes blown with pleasure. “Tell me whose you are,” he growls deeply. “Both of you. Tell me who’s making you feel this good.”

He leans down, squishing Mina between the both of you, and presses his lips to your ear as he ruts deeper between you. “Tell me,” he growls deeply in your ear. 

That release builds again, increasing from Kiri’s controlled movements and Mina’s noises in your ear. “Fuck, Eji, please!” you sob, your hips beginning to stutter and move sloppily. “I’m gonna…I’m gonna cum!” 

“M-Me too!” Mina whines into your ear, her tits squished against yours and bouncing in time with you and the mattress as Kiri ruts between your pussies. “Oh, my God, I-I can’t stop!” Her body begins to writhe against yours and she grabs you, wrapping her arms around you as Kiri fucks the everloving shit out of you. 

“Such good little girls for me,” he growls from above you, going faster and faster, signaling his own dawning release. “So good! I’m gonna cum all over your pretty little pussies.” He thros his head back, lost in the pleasure, moaning to the ceiling, most of them being your names. “Fuck…fuck…fuck!” 

When it cums, it’s messier than messy. You can feel his hot cum spurt out of his dick and coat your pussy and Mina’s. The sounds that fall from his lips trigger your own release and you tumble down that hill, falling into an abyss of pure bliss. Mina falls with you, whining and moaning into your ear as her hips slow their grind.

“O-Oh, f-fuck!” she stutters out, gripping you for dear life. “S-So…so good…!” You silently agree, gripping her ass and grinding with her, riding that blissful wave. 

“Still cumming!” Kiri moans from above you, hips still going and going. “So much!” You can feel it–ropes and ropes of hot cum spilling onto your stomach and onto the comforter as he gives you about a week’s worth of nut. Finally, after letting out a groan that would make any girl blush, his movements slow and stills, breathing heavily. 

You lean back against the comforter, exhaustion overtaking you. Above you, Mina laughs hysterically. “Damn, daddy!” she giggles, wiggling her ass into an exhausted Kiri. “You practically soaked the comforter!”

Slowly, Kiri pulls away from you and Mina slowly gets off of you, revealing the very large mess of bodily fluids that coat the black comforter. 

The laugh that erupts from you is loud and abrupt, and you’re taken aback by the reaction when you should be horrified. But the bliss you feel from that earth-shattering orgasm and that your two crushes reciprocating your feelings doesn’t allow you to. “Bakugou is gonna kill us,” you giggle.  

Kiri laughs with you, wiping sweat from his forehead. “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” he sighs, looking down at you and at Mina adoringly. “That was amazing.”

Mina hums in agreement, gently running her hand down your naked tummy. “It absolutely was,” she says with a smile. “Talk about a good distraction from your shit ex, hm?” 

You couldn’t agree more. “Mmm,” you hum in agreement, orgasm-sedated exhaustion settling in. You try to sit up and need Kiri’s help, your limbs feeling flimsy and jell-O-like. “Easy there, cutie,” he whispers encouragingly. Slowly, now.” 

“Let me go get us some water,” Mina says, letting Kiri help her off the bed so she can walk to the private bathroom. She turns shortly after with two glasses of water, one of them being for you. “Here, baby. Drink up.” 

You thank her, gladly taking the glass and gulping down the sweet, cold water. Her and Kiri share the other before Kiri crawls up to the headboard and settles under the covers. He smiles lazily at both of you, arms open wide. “Come here, both of you. We all need a good snuggle.” You giggle as you crawl towards him alongside Mina. “Glad to see you’re not too manly for cuddles.” 

Kiri looks at you like you’re insane. “You shitting me? Cuddles are for everybody.” You take one side while Mina takes the other, curling at his side. “That was better than my wildest dreams,” he sighs, enclosing his arms around both of you, holding you close to him. Mina hums in agreement, her hand moving to cup yours on Kiri’s chest, right over his beating heart.  

You let out a content sigh, loving this feeling of bliss. The smell of mingling scents–sex, perfume, cologne–fill your nose as you cuddle into Kiri’s side and let Mina rub circles into your knuckles with her thumb, feeling safe. But even so, that nagging feeling of something bothering you doesn’t allow you to fall so deeply into the peace. 

You nervously look at Kiri and Mina, biting your lip. “So…does this mean we’re all dating now?” you carefully ask. “You’re my girlfriend and my boyfriend?”

Kiri and Mina look at each other before looking at you. “Yeah,” Mina brightly answers, breaking into a beautiful smile that eases every insecurity and uncertainty you felt. “If that’s okay with you.” 

You blink at her, almost not believing it was that easy. “It’s…” You trail off, scoffing to yourself. This is way better than a dream. “It’s more than okay with me.” You grip Mina’s hand and press a kiss to Kiri’s pec, making him hum. “Good,” he sighs, “‘cause I would’ve jumped from the nearest building if it wasn’t.” 

As you and Mina giggle, giddy from the sex and the way the night has turned out and this, there is a loud, harsh knock at the door that startles you. Kiri sits up immediately, protectively shifting so he’s covering your naked chest with his body and throws the covers over Mina to hide her from the chin down. 

The door is opening before any of you can protest. Bakugou’s raspy and slurred voice drifts into the bedroom as he opens the door. “Yo, shitty hair! What the fuck is with those bed springs jumping? You’d better not be–” 

His words cut off immediately as he gets a good look at the way his guest room looks–clothes on the floor, comforter a mess, and the three of you naked and occupying the bed, staring wide-eyed at him like deers in headlights.

He steps back into the doorway and grabs the door handle. “I’ll kill you all later,” he growls before shutting the door behind him, leaving you alone once more. 

Silence swells in the room before you three erupt in laughter, so much so that your stomach hurts. “We’re never gonna live this down now, you know that, right?” Kiri asks through a fit of giggles. “He’s never gonna let us come back here.” 

Mina wipes at her eyes, leaning up to stare into your eyes. “I’ll gladly take the fall for that,” she sighs contently. “Especially for more of this.” She moves to stroke your arm lovingly as Kiri wraps an arm around you, holding you even closer. 

You couldn’t agree more with that statement and finally, you allow yourself to fall into the bliss that sleep brings, cuddled up with the two you trust most.

Finally.

[nats-bottom]

SJ - Doctor's Office

Summary: Reader has anxiety about going to the doctor's office and Scarlett calms her down and distracts her.

Pairings: Scarlett Johansson and Reader

Warnings: Doctor's office, almost-panic attack, swearing, anxiety and depression mentions, medication mentions.

Notes:

I also have accounts on Wattpad and AO3! The users there are @ paige_vers

Please give me requests! You can submit them here or on my insta, @ scarlettsoutset

ᨖᨖೱᨖ⧗ᨖⴵᨖ🕷️ᨖⴵᨖ⧗ᨖೱᨖᨖ

I dreaded these days. They didn't happen often, but when they did, they always sucked. As soon as I was 16, my mom made me go to all my doctor's appointments by myself. And this year is no different. Even though it's just my yearly check-up, I still get very nervous. What if they find something wrong? What if I'm really sick? I just get all these worries in my head that don't seem to go away. 

My appointment isn't until three in the afternoon, but that's all I can think about. It's currently ten AM, but I'm just pacing around the living room of the house that me and my girlfriend, Scarlett shared. Scarlett was out getting groceries, but she should be back any minute. Then as if on queue, I hear the front door open. Unable to stop my pacing, I keep up my pacing while I hear Scarlett put away the frozens and drop the rest of the bags of groceries on the ground. I feel hands on my shoulders and look up to see Scarlett in front of me. I stop pacing and look into her beautiful, forest green eyes.

"Breathe with me" She says, taking deep breaths in and out. I didn't even realize that I was hyperventilating, but I started to follow her breathing pattern after a few breaths. Once I've calmed down enough, Scarlett takes my hands and sits us down on a couch. "Is it the doctor's appointment?" She asks, almost as if she already knows.

I nod my head, still too shaken up to speak. Her thumbs rub patterns on the back of my hands. I look down at my lap, feeling ashamed for getting all worked up over a simple appointment. 

"Hey, look at me." Scarlett says. I look up at her, worry still written all over my face. "It'll be ok. You'll be perfectly fine and healthy. You eat well, you take care of your skin, you exercise, you have no symptoms. You have nothing to be worried about." 

She lets go of one of my hands and cups my cheek. "Do you want me to go with you?" I nod, still nervous to speak, of fear that my voice might crack. This means a lot to me, as I've been going to these appointments alone for years. This will be the first time I will have gone with someone else besides my mother, and I'm glad it's Scarlett. Even though we have only been together for a year now, I'm glad she cares enough about me to go with me. For my last appointment, Scarlett was away filming. If she was here, I know that she would've come. 

"I've got to go put away the rest of the groceries. Do you want to come help me? It might take your mind off of the appointment." I nod in agreement. Scarlett gets up and gives me a hand of hers to help me get up. I take her hand and walk with her to the kitchen. I start to put away the groceries, and she walks over toward the speaker system. She looks through her phone for a minute, and grins. She turns on the speaker system, and connects her phone, playing my favorite music. Music that she knows I can't resist not dancing and singing to. She walks back over, swaying her hips to the beat, and I watch her, biting my lip. I switch my focus back to the groceries, oblivious to the fact that Scar has now abandoned her task of putting away the groceries and now is dancing along to the music. 

As I put the last few things away, I hum a bit to the music. When I put the last thing away, I actually sing a little bit. Once I am all done, I turn around, and see Scarlett dancing to the music. 

"So that's why I had to put away everything by myself. You-" I boop her nose "Were busy dancing, you cutie."

"Care to join me?" Scarlett says as she outstretches her hand to me. I gladly take it. She twirls me around, and then puts one hand on my hip. She keeps a hold of my other hand, and I put my free hand on her shoulder. We sway to the music as we both sing-shout along to the music.

The next song to come on is a slower song, so we don't shout to the music as much, but instead just sing at a normal volume. She leans in closer to me, nuzzling her head in my neck. Her arm snakes around my back, and mine around her neck. We just sway to the music, holding each other tight and close. 

Once the slow song is over, we let go of each other and start to dance our asses off to the next few songs. That's when I feel my phone buzz in my pocket. I check to see what it says, and it's a reminder that my appointment is in one hour. 

I start to panic again, and Scarlett notices. She takes a quick glance at the clock first, realizing the time, and envelopes me in a hug. I hug Scar back, taking in her scent. Her hugs always help me calm down. She pulls back peppers my face in kisses. Once my face has been fully appreciated, she rests her forehead on mine, looking into my eyes. I look back into her sparkling eyes, and let out a sigh. She always knows how to calm me down. 

"Let's go darling." Scarlett says. She knows that if she were to mention the doctor's, that might've made me panic again. She grabs her phone and her keys in one hand, and takes my hand in the other. We walk in silence to the car, where Scarlett opens the door for me and helps me get in. She gets in on her side, and after she starts the car, she connects her phone and continues the same playlist from before.

We both sing along the whole ride there. Once we get there, I'm hesitant to get out, so Scarlett comes over to help me out. She opens my door and undoes my seatbelt for me. She takes my hand, and just stands there, holding it.

"Come on, my love. We can't avoid this forever. You got this. I believe in you. Now let's get this over with." She says lovingly. She takes my hand up to her mouth and kisses my knuckles. 

I eventually get out of the car, and we walk hand in hand to the building and through the doors. I check in at the front desk, and we sit down together. We keep holding hands, and at one point she brings them up to her mouth, kissing the whole back of my hand. She knows this will keep my calm and keep my mind occupied. Before I know it, the door opens and they call out my name.

"y/n?" The nurse said. I get up and look at Scarlett. She is still sitting down, probably expecting to stay out here the entire time.

Still holding her hand, I say "You're coming with me, silly." She shoots me a playful grin, one that always gives me butterflies, and gets up, walking with me to the exam room. 

The nurse ushers me to sit on the exam bed, while he suggests Scarlett sit on one of the chairs that's in the room. "I think I'll stand," Scarlett says, still not letting go of my hand. She helps me get up on the exam bed, and stands next to me, holding my hand with her hand furthest away from me and rubbing my back with her other hand. The nurse takes my vitals, then walks out of the room. We wait a few minutes for the doctor, who eventually comes in.

The doctor comes in and tells me that everything looks normal, and the only thing that needs to be changed are my head meds. These are what me and Scar call my anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds. She gives me a new prescription and tells me to come back next year. 

She leads us to the front desk, where I schedule an appointment for next year. We walk out the car, and as soon as we're both inside, I let out a huge sigh of relief. 

"You did great, sweetie. I'm so very proud of you." Scarlett says, looking at me and resting a hand on my thigh. I put a hand of mine of top of hers, where it stays for the drive home.

[russellsppttemplates]

I'm in this if you are (Lance Stroll)

Lance wants to show you how wonderful love can be

Note: english is not my first language. this is a long piece that I hope will keep the interactions back up (I love getting your requests and overall having you interact with the posts and having some random thoughts shared too!), so I hope you enjoy this piece as this is my first Lance request * nervous giggles *

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

Tw: mentions (bad) past relationships, curse words

my masterlist

"Is it okay if we meet up at the park instead?", you suggested to Lance over the phone, "it's only a five minute walk from work for me", earning an affirmative answer on the other side of the line as well as a farewell.

Packing your backpack with your laptop and a book you had to bring home for the weekend, switching everything off and ringing your card so you could get yourself out, heading for the park Lance was meeting you at.

It was something new, so you were being cautious. After all, you had fallen for people before who weren't good for you in the end, so you had learnt to keep your distance. But did you hope that maybe this time it would be different. The Canadian young man and you have been spending some time together after meeting through a mutual friend, and today was no different since he had texted you earlier if you would be up for a stroll in the park after you were done from work, having you accept it and even letting yourself feel giddy about it.

Following the directions he gave you, you saw him sitting in the bench like he had told you, getting up once he saw you and coming closer to you, "Hi, how are you?", he said, giving you a big hug and a kiss on the cheek, "Hi, I've been good, very happy that it's Friday so I get the to be home for the weekend. And you, busy day?", you greeted him back and continuing to walk alongside him, "yeah, the meeting was about the last few things we need to sort out before the race next weekend, so it got a bit longer than I expected but it was all good, means I didn't have to wait too long for you, but I did get you these", he said, showing you a small white paper bag, leaving you to open it.

The small sticker that closed the bag was enough to get you to gasp, recognising your favourite bakery chain's logo, "you say they always run out in the shop they have near your office, so I dropped by the one close to the factory to see if they had some and they did", Lance smiled, seeing you smile back at him, "thank you! Do you want to go and enjoy these by the lake?", you suggested, seeing that it wasn't too busy around there.

Sitting down on the dry grass, you and Lance sat in front of eachother, talking about your day and laughing at funny moments from eachother's day while sharing the croissants he had gotten, "thank you, again, you didn't have to", you pointed to the empty bag, whisking any crumbs away from your lips and clothes, "it was only fair that I got to try "the best croissants ever" according to you, and since I had some time to kill before I met you here, and it is always a pleasure to see your eyes sparkle like that", he said softly, noticing the blush on your cheeks and your shyness coming through, taking the hint to keep talking, "and a croissant like this after a long meeting and at a park like this with this company, there's not much more than I want".

.

You were dancing around in the kitchen, waiting for the water to boil so you could put the pasta in, singing to the lyrics before you phone stopped the song and instead made the sound of an incoming FaceTime call, seeing Lance's contact on your screen. "Hi Lance!", you greeted, waving at the screen, "Hey, you, am I catching you at a bad time?", he asked, lighting what looked like a nightsand lamp, "Just making dinner. Is this a good time for you though? You look like you're going to sleep", you cringed, propping your phone since one of the glss containers you had on your counter top so you could put the pasta in and still she Lance while he saw you in shot too, "I wanted to talk to you", he mused, "I saw your text, but they needed me to fix something on the steering wheel and just to be sure I called now because I was afraid you'd be working still and I would interrupt it", he reasoned.

Hoping the LED light that illuminated your working area in the kitchen hid your blushing cheeks, you managed to reply, "I was just checking in with you, seeing how it went. Aren't you tired or in need of sleep? We can talk another day, it's fine", you admitted, even though deep down you were enjoying his (virtual) company, especially seeing him like this, tucked into bed in his pyjamas and looking so handsome and soft, "I'm okay, don't worry", he yawned, "so, what are you cooking?".

Conversation flowed while you cut the vegetables so you could cook them in the pan, sharing the recipe with Lance and coming closer to the phone whenever you were letting things cook on their own, supporting your face on the palms of your hands while your elbows rested on the counter top, doing one final move to plate your pasta, "uhh, that looks good!", Lance exclaimed, seeing you top the dish with some cheese, "it usually tastes good, yeah, and it's also very quick to make. I began just when we started this call and we've been here for- oh, we've been here for nearly an hour! Lance, you could've told me! You probably need to sleep, I'm sorry that I kept you here!", you apologised, guilt overcoming your whole body. You truly didn't think you had been on call with Lance for such a long time, it was truly flowing and, above anything, feeling comfortable.

"You don't have to apoligise, I stayed here because I wanted to be with you and spend time with you, unless you're apologising because I bothered you", he hinted, "No! No, not at all, I loved sort of having you here with me", you hurriedly clarified, "I just didn't want to bother you or your sleep routine, it's really late where you are", you shot him another apologetic look, "I said none of that, no apologising for this anymore. I enjoyed having you here with me too", he smiled softly, "but if I don't go to sleep soon, tomorrow is going to hurt", he reasoned.

Sitting by your table, you propped the phone again against your bottle of water, "sleep is very important, Lanc-", you were interrupted by him, "but I need to know if the pasta is delicious or not, it's only fair", he winked as you rolled your fork on the plate, grabbing bit of everything and trying it, "it's amazing, I can confirm", you said, "you look like a little chipmunk, and your dimple is showing too. Totally worth it staying up this late", he complimented, leaving you to bid him goodbye, "goodnight Lance, have a good sleep", you whispered, switching off the call when Lance gave you the same wishes, giddily smiling at your pasta at his attentiveness, allowing yourself to be swept off your feet.

.

"Was it as good as your pasta, though?", Lance asked you as you walked along the city streets after leaving the restaurant where you had dinner. The small and cosy local restaurant was perfect for another date with Lance, your hand latched in his since you left the restaurant after thanking the owner for a great evening, "I'm not a professional, so this one was better, but my own has potential too, you know?", you giggled, allowing yourself to lean a little bit on Lance, pulling your bodies closer to one another, making him also feel your own easiness around him, which he appreciated. From the moment he met you, he knew you wouldn't be swept off your feet with elaborate dinner dates and fancy invitations to lavish places. Above anything, he noticed you were cautious, not that he thought that you were expecting him to do you any physical harm, but because maybe you had been emotionally hurt before. Because of that, Lance made it his mission to show you what love could be like, how beautiful and how simple two people who care about eachother could develop into something more.

Seeing a flower peeking out of a house fence, Lance couldn't contain himself and he plucked it, making you stop, "Here, look at me, please", he mumbled, tucking the flower behind your ear carefully, his eyes boring into yours, "I really like you, Y/N", he confessed, "and I won't pressure you into anything, I can wait. Damn, I'll wait forever for you if I have to. But I don't want you to go on without knowing this", he smiled hopefully, not knowing your reaction as he hadn't planned to do it like this.

Cupping his cheek, your thumb ran over his cheek, softly touching the corner of his lips in a silent question to know if he too wanted it before you leaned up to kiss him, pressing your lips in his for a tender kiss, pulling back to see eachother's reaction, only to crash his lips against yours passionately.

"I really like you too", you whispered, afraid to disturb the moment between you, earning a chuckle from Lance, "I should hope so, imagine if you were to tell me now that you despised me after that kiss, I don't think I could handle it", he placed his hand on top of his heart, earning him a small slap on his chest, "I'm trying to be serious with you", you whined, "So am I, Y/N, completely serious. I'm in this if you are", he said as he hugged your, kissing your forehead before kissing your lips again, "I think I found a new favourite thing to do".

.

"So you don't want to go?", Lance questioned, "it's not that I don't want to go and see you do what you love, it's the whole thing, Lance", you murmured, "I'd have to fly out on a different day, I'd have to sleep somewhere, and that whole thing needs to be accounted for, I need to sit down and look properly at all of it", you almost hissed at him, not enjoying the tone it came out of your mouth but going with it nonetheless.

"But I can pay for all of that. I am, in fact, paying for all of that, that's why I'm offering you to come to a race weekend", Lance admitted, frustrated that something so simple for him was causing a fight between you, "and that is one of my problems! I don't want you to have to take care of me like that, I can take of myself, I'm not dependent on anyone and I can do things on my own!", you admitted, voice shaky while you looked at him, "I need a minute, please", you said as you felt your eyes grow wetter, excusing yourself to go to your balcony.

You knew Lance had money, a whole lot of it, so much so that, realistically, you coming along with him to the race would go probably unnoticed in his bank balance, but that didn't mean you were totally comfortable with him paying for everything. You could take care of yourself, now you knew that, despite of years of previous boyfriends telling you it would be hard for you to make it on your own and by your own merit. And you were scared, because was this the way this was going to end? Had you been, yet again, blinded by a guy who wanted you to be what he liked, who wanted to build you to the image he wanted and needed you to depict?

Inside, Lance noticed the cold air coming from the small gap of the door to the balcony that you had left open, imagining how much colder it would be for you, standing outside, looking around in hopes to find what he was looking for.

You heard the door squeak as it opened, thinking to yourself it was just the breeze when you heard footsteps, thinking for a second someone had broken into your house uninvited, "I'd prefer if you didn't have a cold", Lance said softly as he draped a blanket over your shoulders carefully, not missing your stunned expression, "you're still here?", you managed to let out, "I, I thought you were going to leave, I didn't think you'd stay", you stuttered, "Why would I leave?", Lance asked and almost immediately he answered his own question: because that's all you've ever known. When things got complicated, they would leave you. So you naturally thought he would do the same.

"Y/N, I'm not going to leave you when we fight", Lance said, keeping himself close to you, holding himself against the railing, "that is a promise I intend on keeping to you, and I'm going to do my absolute best to make sure that I won't break it", he declared, "Can we talk about it though?".

Holding his hand in yours, you nudged him to sit in one of the chairs you had in your balcony, sitting in front of him so you could express what was on your mind, "this is a bad story from past experiences, so if you still want to make that exit, I promise I'll manage and forget what you just side", you suggested playfully, feeling him squeeze you hand tighter in his own, "I've been in bad relationships before, it probably does not come to a surprise to you, but some things still haunt me years after. I used to have a boyfriend that would get me presents, or he would pay for things, and for a bit a just took it down as he was being nice, but he slowly started offering things in exchange of something, like me changing what I wore because I would wear something he got me instead, or change what I ate, who I spent time with, ans slowly everything he somehow offered turned out to be because he thought I couldn't do it on my own, that I wouldn't ever be able to sustain myself independently, so he thought he might as well "help me" and change who I was in the process", you gulped, "and I only realised it later, when his supposed affection for me was only there when I complied with what he asked of me, and the moment I realised was a constant fight, day in day out, where he left and then he would come back and belittle so much into thinking that it was my fault he would leave and we wouldn't solve anything we were fighting about", you confessed, "breaking up wasn't even the hardest part, but the scars that it left me with are still here, that's why I thought you would leave, because you wouldn't want to hear my side and-, fuck", you wiped a tear that insisted on falling, going back to play with Lance's fingers after, "I love you so much, I care about you so much, and you make me feel things I've never felt before without any conditions", you looked up at him, seeing an expression that was a mixture of sadness, anger and maybe some revolt too.

Lance brought your hands together and kissed them, "thank you for sharing that with me, I appreciate it", he began, "and I'm so sorry that some bastard thought it was okay to treat you like that, because it is not", he squeezed your hands, rubbing his thumb on them, "you deserve to feel all the love in the world without anything in it other that love itself. I get to be loved by you and that is one of my biggest blessings, and I'll be damned if I ever make you feel less loved or less appreciated than you deserve. But that promise I made is true, I want us to always talk about something that we don't see eye to eye on, so we can understand the other's perspective, I don't want to run away from anything", he nodded for you to continue, signalling he was done.

"I'm not from the same social or professional sphere that you are, and that makes me wonder about this whole situation, like there isn't a way that I can keep up with all of that travel on my own", you admitted honestly, "and I don't know how I feel about you covering those costs, like, of course I want to go see you do your thing at the track, and be there to support you, to congratulate you when you win and to hold you when things don't go as well, even if it's not all the time, but all of that seems a lot", you explained the situation to the best of your ability.

"Can I go now?", Lance wondered, his hands still holding yours, "I don't want to sound like a prick, or like I'm flashing everyone of how much I have, but it is also true that I don't mind paying for those things. Truly. And I don't do it because I want some change from you in return. I do it because I am fortunately able to and because I want the people I love with me as much as they're able to", he said, moving his hand to caress your cheek, "I never want you to think for a second that anything that I offer, present you with or pay for is a way of manipulating you", he assured, looking for your own reassurance in your eyes.

You shuffled around in your seat, looking into those beautiful brown eyes you loved so much, "thank you", you smiled through your tears, "you don't have to thank me for loving you, I should be the one thanking you for trusting me and for letting me love you".

[slvt4em1lyprenti2s]

and.. ACTION! - Margot Robbie

Pairing - Margot Robbie x fem!reader

Fluff, angst and homophobia (happy ending), implied NSFW

Word count: 2.7k (didn't mean for it to be that long lmao, it's juicy though)

!!not proofread!!

(reader is a film director)

Margot POV: 

I've just stared working on my new set for Barbie and it's taking a bit of getting used to because there are 2 directors for this movie Greta Gerwig and Y/N Y/L/N, and don't get me wrong they're both amazing directors but it's just new having two. 

At the minute we're on break and I'm sitting with Ryan, America and Y/N. I've grown close to everyone in this cast, we're like a family but I have gotten especially close with Y/N I don't know what it is about her but ever since the first time I heard her say "and.. ACTION!" I've been having these feelings for her. I can't really put my finger on what the feelings are though, I thought at first I just wanted to be her friend because she was cool and endearing but now, I'm thinking it might be more. But, I'm straight so it can't be right? Yeah, it can't be Margot you're being delusional. (we're all a bit delulu sometimes xx)

"Hey, you okay? Lost you for a second there." her soft voice snapped me out of my trance. "Yeah no, I'm fine. Just thinking." I replied tripping over my words a bit, I always seem to get nervous around her maybe it is.. no it can't be.

"You sure, you seemed pretty focused, I don't want you to worry you're pretty little head about things okay? You can talk to me if stuff is bothering you, you know that right?" and there she goes again, making me blush. Is she flirting with me or just giving me a compliment? Either way, I can't help the crimson blush that invades my face. She's always been so caring, always making sure I'm okay. I don't deserve her. Looking down now, slightly embarrassed I reply "Yeah I know, and we'll uhm- there is-" I fumble over my words now second guessing myself "isn't anything so don't worry about me, I promise okay?" I hold out my pinky so she can link her own around mine. "Okayy, if you say so but my offer still stands I'm always gunna be here." 

I give her a warm smile and suddenly the moment is ruined by Ryan walking in and telling us we're needed on set. "I'll see you later?" she asked with the cutest smile ever on her face. "Of course." I replied.

Okay, yeah. I like her, in the same way I normally like boys. Wow, this is new. 

Y/N POV:

We've just got off a back to back shooting day, hardly any breaks apart from the quick 5 minutes that I shared with my favourite person. Margot, obviously if that wasn't clear. I don't even think she swings this way but, a girl can dream right? Anyway, she's joining me and my parents for dinner tonight and, well, they're not the most supportive about my sexual orientation should I say. So, she offered to be a buffer, you know, soften the blow a bit when they throw insult after insult my way. I mean I could just bail the dinner but, they're my parents I owe them certain things so, I have promised to always make an effort to go see them, no matter what. So that's how I ended up here, walking to Margot's trailer and knocking on the door.

"Ready to go endure around 2 hours of relentless condescending comments from my parents?" I said to her as she opened the door.

"Of course I am, it's my favourite hobby." She replied sarcastically. I giggled and offered her my arm which she willingly took. 

On the walk to the car we had polite small talk about how our days had gone, as we hadn't seen much of each other even though we're on the same set. She was in the Barbieland set while I was on the real world set with America and Ariana. 

We get in the car and I start driving. I'm lost in my thoughts worrying about all the ways this could go incredibly wrong. Margot's soft voice snaps me out of my trance.

"Are you okay? And don't bullshit me Y/N you've got worry written all over your face." I sighed deeply and she put her hand on my thigh. I blushed deeply at the contact but didn't let that stray me from answering her. "I'm just really dreading this night, it's the first meal we've had together in about a year so, i don't know what to expect really." 

"Hey, normally i'd say look at me but you're driving and that probably isn't smart but," i chuckled lightly at that comment "you don't need their approval about every single aspect of your life, because it's your life. Also, who cares if they don't agree with your sexuality? It's none of their business who you bang." 

I genuinely laugh for the first time this evening at the last comment. I briefly glance at Mar and smile. "Thank you for that, really. It helps to hear it." 

"No problem okay? And if at any point during the meal you're just thinking 'I need to leave like, now' then just tell me and I'll act like my apartment had been broken into or something so we can leave. I'm an amazing actress you know?" There's an evident smirk plastered across her beautiful face and I giggle at her sarcasm. "I'm fully aware and I'll drop you a text if it gets too unbearable." 

"Good." She says smiling as she turns back around so she's facing the road again. The car ride continues in a comfortable silence and Taylor Swift playing in the background. 

Time skip to when they're at the house 

Margot POV: 

"Okay we're here." I hear y/n/n say as we came to a stop outside her parents house.

"Hey, you've got this." I say as I take her hand and give it a light squeeze. "Yeah, I hope so." She responded anxiety prominent in her voice. 

We walk up to the front door and knock. Not even a second later it swings open revealing a short woman who appears to be in her sixties and a man who appears to only be a tad older behind her. "Oh my goodness, y/n/n it's been far too long." After saying that she instantly pull the y/h/c into a tight hug. "Hiya mum." She says back awkwardly patting her back,   y/n is not a hugger. Any parent should know such a small detail like that about their kid. I internally roll my eyes because I can see the stiffness of her body as her mum squeezes even tighter. "Ah, you must be Margot?" Her dad says from behind the mother and daughter. "Oh, uhm, yes that's me." I say extending my hand for him to shake which her returns politely. Her mum has now fully released her grip on y/n and extends her hand so she can shake mine while saying. "Hopefully not girlfriend." My face goes flat. No emotion, just plain hatred for this woman already and I haven't even stepped in the house. I clear my throat and say, "No, I'm not but I don't think it would be an issue if I was." Both her parents just shared disapproving looks but beckoned us in none the less. This was going to be a long night.

Time skip to them eating tea (dinner) 

Y/n POV: 

So far nothing about the comment earlier nor the subject had come up so it had actually been a really fun night so far. So far. I knew it was all going downhill when we sat down at the dinning table because that's when topics like politics and live life come up. I was not excited to say the least. "Guys 'cmon foods ready!" my dad yells from the kitchen. Me, my mum and Margot make our way to the dinning room where there is a gorgeous looking Sunday roast laying in the table waiting for us. "Dad that looks amazing." I say to him. 

"Just wait till you taste the stuffing I got some new herbs from the garden and chucked them in, it's really tasty." We all went to our respective seats on the table my parents opposite me and Margot. As soon as my mother opened my mouth I knew it was all going to go horribly wrong. 

"So y/n/n any news?" 

"Like what mum?" 

"Oh well, I don't know, a boyfriend?"

Margot shot daggers at my mum but she didn't take any notice. 

"No." I say, trying to be as blunt and cut off as possible. 

"Oh don't worry dear, a nice man will make his way into your life soon enough." My dad chimes in.

"Yeah, and then you can settle down and have a proper life with children and a proper man not any of that 'lesbian' nonsense you've been talking about." *you can change that to whatever your sexuality is but i just chose lesbian bc it fits* 

I sit and stare at her with a flabbergasted look in my face. "For the last time, I. Am. A. Lesbian. I'm not going to find a nice man because I'm not interested in men, just because you don't understand that doesn't mean that you can't accept it. Also I'm not being funny but it doesn't matter who I end up with, my life is 'proper' and as long as I love the person I end up with, which I will; very dearly it doesn't matter what their gender is, but I'm just letting you know it will be a girl. And, I don't give a flying fuck wether my children are adopted, if they're IVF or anything! Okay?! Because at the end of the day they'll be my children and I'll love them unconditionally so, that's all that matters. And I'm not being funny I shouldn't of even come tonight because every single time I come it's the same thing over and i over again, you are both like broken records!" By the end of my rant I'm practically yelling at them and at some point in my rage I stood up from my chair. I look at them both, waiting for some kind of comeback. 

"Never speak to me or your father like that again. You are a worthless piece of shit dyke and no child of mine!" She yelled at me and by this point there were tears rolling down my face. She then continued, "Imagine what Margot thinks of this, huh? You arguing with your parents and speaking to us in that manner? She also must be appalled that you're a, a- lesbian." she held so much disgust in her voice when she said that it made my blood boil and when Margot instantly rose from her chair I could tell it had the exact same effect on her. 

Margot POV:

"Well Mrs Y/L/N-"

"Please call me Claire."

"Okay, Claire. Do you want my honest opinion on this topic?"

"Yes dear I would, please knock some sense i to this girl."

As soon as those words left her mouth I turned to y/n/n and thought to myself 'well it's now or never' and I put on arm around her waist and the other behind her neck and pulled her in for a kiss. It was a sweet innocent kiss and we pulled away rather quickly because we were obviously still in front of her parents. As we pulled apart she was beaming and so was I. Her face was a light pink now and it made me feel good knowing I did that to her. I wa brought back to reality when her mother chimed in again. "How long has this sinning been going on for?" Y/n head snapped round to mine looking panicked but I just scoffed loudly and said "This loving, caring relationship has been going on for 6 months, since we started filming together." I saw her mother roll her eyes but now it was her dads turn to stand up. "That's it! I've had it with you!" he paused for a second and I glanced at y/n and tears were rolling down her eyes because we both thought that she was about to get practically disowned for the second time tonight. "Claire, why can't you just be happy for our daughter, she's in love for christ sake! I don't care if she's gay. I care that she's happy,I care that she's loved. I don't understand your inability to do such things!" Me, y/n and her mum looked just as surprised as each other when those words left his mouth. Choking back even more tears y/n said "Thank you dad, really. It means a lot l." Her dad then walked around the table and stopped before her went in to hug her. "You don't like hugs do you?" he said

"No, but I guess I can make an exception." 

My heat swelled at the scene playing out before me, her mother storming out the house and y/n/n and her dad making up. I was incredibly sweet. 

As they pulled away her dad said "I know this hasn't exactly been the ideal evening but, I'm happy for the both of you okay? Now go home and get some rest sweetheart, and it was lovely meeting you Margot and just in advance you have my blessing if you ever want to, you know pop the question. Just to put it out there I'm only saying that because I know people like to ask the dad and I just thought you might be a bit too worried to ask when the times tight because of her mother so, I thought I'd tell you now so, no pressure but uhm- yeah." He said it with so much sincerity and love in his voice it made me instinctively pull him into a hug. "Thank you Mr y/l/n" I said tears pricking my eyes. "Please, call me John." 

"Thank you John." 

Y/N POV:

I just set there still crying, but more tears of joy at this point and observed the two most important people in my life at the minute share the most sickly sweet moment ever. I was amazing.

Time skip to once you drive Margot home (still reader pov)

"So, 6 months huh?" I said teasingly as I walked her to the door of her house. "I don't work well under pressure, okay?" I laughed at her response and then when she got to the door she looked at me straight in the eye. "I mean I wouldn't be totally objected to the idea of being with you for 6 months." she trailed off getting quieter at the end of her sentence and looking away nervously.  "You know, neither would I." Her eyes instantly found mine again and she looked down at me since she's slightly taller. "Really?" 

"Yes Margot, really." 

She grabbed my face and pulled me into a bruising kiss. Our lips moved in perfect sync, her teeth grazing my bottom lip and slightly biting  it causing me to let out a small moan. Her hand that had snaked around to my waist pulled me in closer at that action. Her lip grazed over my top lip asking for entrance which I happily granted her, she pushed her tongue into my mouth instantly and started exploring causing me to move my hands from her hips to around her neck pulling her in even further. We continued until we needed to pull away for air. "You wanna come inside and continue?" she asked suggestively. 

"Definitely." At that she picked me up and i wrapped my legs around her torso and we resumed our previous actions. As we got to her room she layer me down on the bed and got on top of me. "Good thing we don't have set tomorrow because I don't think we'll be getting much sleep tonight darling." 

And just like always, she was right.

[monbons]

WIP Wednesday

Posting actual WIPS on a Wednesday? Imagine that.

As long as we are all baring our hearts on tumblr, I have to admit that I have been struggling to write anything since I wrapped up Eternal Life (back in the first week of April). At first I figured I was simply burnt out since I wrote all 42k words of that fic in just about a month, but given that I've started three separate WIPS since then and made zero progress on any of them, I'm wondering if I am just out of stories. I hate all my words--even though I really love some of these concepts. So, as you may have noticed, I've been distracting myself with sewing projects because good progress is so clearly visible there...

Anywho, to motivate myself, I decided to post a snip of each today and hope that having bits out in the world will motivate me to finish at least ONE of them! All untitled. Set up and snips below the cut.

Very creatively titled "Party Robot," this WIP is a silly/fluffy one-shot inspired by an article I read a while ago about a growing trend in American weddings. This one is the furthest along and will likely see the light of day eventually...

A nervous bounce.  From a robot. I recognize that bounce. “I thought you said Shepard was working tonight.” My voice is tight. “He is.” Bunce replies, similarly strained. “What did you say he does again?” Panic rises in my chest.  “He’s in entertain–”  Whether Bunce trails off or I simply don’t hear the rest is irrelevant because the music has changed from easy dinner instrumentals to much-too-loud techno and the show is clearly starting. As the synths build, driving towards a crescendo, my brain reels with the growing realisation that Simon would never just abandon me at the last minute, would never send me anywhere alone, certainly not my cousin’s gay wedding, which is every kind of milestone given his Old Families lineage and Pitch blood specifically and– “PARTY PEOPLE!” The DJ booms into the mic. “Have the grooms got a treat for you!”

A multi-chapter AU I have lovingly nicknamed "Baz in a Bubble." It is sad and angsty and is proving significantly more difficult to execute (despite having a complete outline) than I once thought it would be. Who could have guessed having one home-bound character would make me too sad to write? Thanks to @thewholelemon and @hushed-chorus who've listened to more than their fair share of my griping about this one. Anyway, here's the first bit of BAZ POV:

There are exactly 297 stars in the sky above me. I count them while lying in my bed every night. They do not twinkle or flicker hello like real stars. Instead, they glow a constant yellowish-green that reminds me of the colour artists always make toxic sludge in the cartoons I grew up watching. It's the colour of superhuman villains and their evil plots. Of poison. Of danger. It's the colour of the plastic star stickers Fiona put up on my ceiling when I was 10 and spent the whole year crying and begging her to go outside. Just once. Just for a minute. Because I was starting to forget what fresh air smelled like or how it felt to have grass prickle against your bare feet or how the stars lit up the night sky in Hampshire. There are no stars in the middle of London. Not outside my window. Not in this room.

And then the WIP I have the least progress on (literally almost nothing) but I so desperately want to write and could really use a thought partner to help me brainstorm/plot/figure out what the hell I'm doing--- a canon divergence where Simon successfully exposes Baz as a vamp and Malcolm steps the fuck up as a father. Here's a bit of Simon POV:

It didn't matter anyway. Pitch Manor was empty. While [the Mage] ranted and raved, I wandered into Baz’s living room. The TV was still on. Peppa the Pig was playing. A half-dressed Barbie was splayed on the couch next to a small bowl of grapes, all cut in half. I picked up the doll and brushed her tangled hair out of her face.  Why didn’t I know Baz had a sister? A family that ate snacks together in front of the TV? Parents who loved him so dearly they fled their whole lives under cover of night? In the days that followed, I sat in meeting after meeting with the Coven, listening to The Mage. He demanded the casting of tracking spells, pushed through more dark creature reforms, and rambled about the miscarriage of justice and the dangers of harbouring monsters.  But Baz wasn’t a monster.  He was just a boy.  A scared boy.  A boy who ran because he wanted to live. 

Anyway...here's to accountability via tumblr. Maybe once I've slept for several weeks and feel more refreshed I won't be so frustrated by every word I know, or more precisely, all the beautiful ones I can’t seem to find…

Thanks for the tag @bookish-bogwitch. Cannot wait to devour the new chapter of BPD!

Hellos and high-fives to all. May your words (and art) be faring better than mine: @raenestee, @cutestkilla, @roomwithanopenfire, @facewithoutheart

@emeryhall, @artsyunderstudy, @aristocratic-otter, @larkral, @rimeswithpurple

@drowninginships, @valeffelees, @shrekgogurt, @blackberrysummerblog, @iamamythologicalcreature

@run-for-chamo-miles, @thehoneyedhufflepuff, @arthurkko, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @youarenevertooold

@beastmonstertitan, @supercutedinosaurs, @rbkzz, @fiend-for-culture, @theearlgreymage

@brilla-brilla-estrellita, @skeedelvee, @ic3-que3n, @talentpiper11, @ivelovedhimthroughworse

[bloopitynoot]

Reading SVSSS: Chapter 13

For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.

I'm here! Finally posting yesterday's read.

Last night I was watching critical role and making flower crowns for the ren faire today and I totally lost track of time. But I did read earlier and I have the notes!

Anyways; no tea- I slammed this coke zero. The flower crowns ended up being real cute though.

Here we go; last chapter of book 2!

I'm already nervous :( this chapter is titled coercion. Coercion of who?

Well. Shen Qingqiu arrives and the mountain is already under siege- solid start. p283

This is less a reflection on this current chapter and more a thought about the longevity of this character; but I feel like Luo Binghe is going to inevitably perish. The reckless abandon in which he approaches anything Shizun adjacent is going to end this man. Like in this chapter- fully just tells everyone he's of demonic heritage- 0 fucks, no care for his own life now or in the future. Sure, he's powerful as hell but like eventually he has to sleep. p284

Oh gosh. Both Yue Qingyuan and Liu Qingge are in a bad way AND they are in the same room as Luo Binghe. p285

Okay but to be fair, when it comes to the body of Shen Qingqiu I am on the side of the sect here. Like bare minimum even if this man supposedly committed all the crimes (he didnt and they do know this) he still deserves to have proper death rites. Luo Binghe did do some unhinged things. pp 286-287

RIP Shang Qinghua LOL everyone knows you are an opportunist with nary a loyal bone in your body. Congrats on your entire sect knowing now p288

OOP. the audacity of Luo Binghe to Liu Qingge "ah! The loser I defeated" I mean not wrong but you dont have to be a dick about it. p289 Luo Binghe is so cocky!

and here we have SQQ inserting himself into mortally dangerous situations that he could have walked away from. The self sacrificing he has been doing this entire book (intentional or not) is so wild. This man cannot do anything in a stealthy way- everything dramatic and loud and at the centre of attention. p290

WAIT! "caught you shizun" p290 He did know! I had a suspicion!

What did you expect SQQ ofc he meant to draw you out. He could have tracked you but he lost the ability to do so with the other demon. p293

as an aside I am now wondering how this is going to work out. The Zhuzhi-Lang can also torture and track him at a distance- this is going to be a later problem for SQQ and Luo Binghe no doubt

oh poor buddy "you're not a fool...I am" p293

ooooooo. "didn't my sweetness make shizun oh-so happy?" p294. that's not even it oh no so much emotional damage

Also Shang Qinghua exposed again with the mushroom info p294

I am on SQQ's side with this one. How can the sect be mad about him not going there right away when he was kind of underground and also had to relearn how to move his own body p295

I am annoyed at Liu Qingge and I think, maybe, unjustifiably. I feel like his character is complicated and eventually I want to read a character study or two about him for more insight. What prompted this is: he is both acknowledging that SQQ is doing something utterly selfless for the sect but also pissed that he's doing it at all. Like- is it him feeling inadequate? Or is it how he feels about SQQ or the sect? idk- I will continue to think about him. p297

Luo Binghe was not satisfied with mushroom-zun he also wants the original body?? p299

RIP all of SQQ's dignity and his mental health "I've already submitted to you" p299 his word choice though LOL

His body is missing?!?!?!?!?!? p300

what a cliffhanger! Now I need to know who stole his corpse! If it ends up being 2 SQQ's OR that Luo Binghe's dad is using SQQ's original body I am done done LOL.

We finished book 2!

Thank you to those who have been reading along- this has truly been so fun! I appreciate all the comments and clarifications; they have been helpful and have been making this reading process super engaging. Getting to chat about the thing I am enjoying with others who also love The Thing has been a solid highlight of my days!

[yuugen-benni]

''My dear diary''

Summary: To help express himself, Freminet began keeping a diary that he wrote about himself, his siblings, and obviously about you :)

''Hello diary, My name is Freminet, and I'm starting this diary because I've heard that keeping one might help me express myself better. Well, I'm not exactly the...talkative type, unlike my older brother, Lyney. He's quite the chatterbox, always talking and making friends effortlessly. He suggested that I write about myself and the people I care about, so here we go.

I'm a diver, probably best known as the Fontaine diver. Diving is my passion, and if I could, I'd spend my days at the bottom of the sea, in perfect silence and peace....Of course, I don't mind being on the surface, but dealing with people can be quite challenging for me...I still get nervous and shy around others.

I have two wonderful older sliblings, Lyney and Lynette. They've been through so much in their lives, yet they remain kind. Both of them are exceptional magicians. Lyney's always showing me his magic tricks, and Whenever I smile, he grins excitedly and says ''the audience is definitely going to love this one''. Lynette, on the other hand, is my go-to for comfort whenever I'm feeling down...I can't complain, I truly love my siblings.

But what I really want to talk about today is [Name], a talented playwright who also performs their own plays. They crossed paths with my siblings during a shared stage performance, even though it was at different times. From that moment on, a friendship blossomed between the twins and [Name], and as the social butterfly that he is, my brother introduced me to them, and I must say, they are one of the few people I genuinely interact with. [Name] has a unique way with words, unlike me, and their words always seem to motivate and inspire me in some way.

They and Lyney call themselves ''stage partners'', although they don't work in the same field, but [Name] always says that Illusionism is the art of performing tricks and getting into the character of a real magician and that's why they are ''connected'' to the twins. It's a powerful friendship, but at times, I've felt a pang of sadness, wondering where I fit in all of this. Am I just "Lyney and Lynette's little brother," or do I hold a special place in [Name]'s heart too?

And one day, it slipped out of my mouth. ''What I'm to you ?'' I asked out of nowhere. I remember [Name] looked away, thoughtful and then replied something very theatrical; they mencioned Victor Hugo and something about a young man in love which water passed through his shoes and the stars through his soul... I think they know me better than I know myself…?''