#i am not sure how often i will make these goodnight posts so I hope you cherish them

[mitamicah]

Shall we do this again :3?

Me going to bed now - sleep well and sweet Dreams all you wonderully unhinged people in the kääryleet hivemind 🤗💚 ...And also good night to everybody else :3

[resowrites]

Hitch - oneshot.

Summary: Henry and his girlfriend hit a bump in the road…

Pairings: AU!Henry Cavill x Girlfriend!OC

Warnings: angst, fluff, relationship difficulties/argument, language, pet names, nondescript OC body type/appearance, brief allusion to smut, hastily written/lightly proofread.

WC: 1630

A/N: Hi folks, still not back in the writing groove but gave it a go and this was the result lol Sorry for deleting the last request, still having a crisis of confidence but I appreciate all interactions (especially as it helps me figure out blog direction). Not sure how often I’ll continue posting atm but feel free to send requests etc. - R x

My work must not be copied, reposted, or translated elsewhere. Likes, follows, reblogs and comments are thoroughly welcome and appreciated! Gifs/pics not my own. I hope you all enjoy and thanks for visiting!

Hitch - oneshot.

"I just want you to tell me why."

"Henry, do you not think if there was another reason, I’d just say so? Especially if it meant not having this conversation again?"

"So you honestly expect me to believe that you won’t get married simply because don't want to?"

"Yes! I said as much not long after we got together, why did you think I’d change my mind?"

"I dunno, I thought maybe you were trying to protect yourself. I know being with someone like me will never be straightforward, but why is marriage an impossibility given how long we've now been together? I've never done anything to make you doubt me or my love for you." She sighed and placed her hands on her hips, struggling to comprehend how watching some dreadful reality show about matchmaking had led to their current discussion. 

"Henry, I really can’t have this conversation again. I've told you my reason why and won't keep repeating myself. Goodnight." Henry dashed between her and the living room door.

"Darling please, we need to talk about this. Surely you can appreciate why I’m confused? You won't attend premieres with me, you don’t often travel with me. I respect that you're your own person and want to be out of the spotlight at much as possible, but now I'm worried you don't feel the same way about me anymore."

"Henry, you already know that isn't true. For fuck's sake I take care of everything each and every day don't I? Your house, your personal affairs, even your dog! I live in the middle of nowhere for you, I get abused every day worldwide for you, and I can't even walk down the fucking street without the risk of being photographed - all for you! Why would I do any of that if I didn't love you? I've never wanted your money, connections, or anything else, and yet here you are questioning me!" But her anger only served to rile him up further. 

"Well, I wonder why! You sound pretty resentful even though this is our house, our dog, our fucking life! For God’s sake I thought we were past this, what else can I do to prove that you're my priority?"

"I'm not resentful, that's my point! And we didn't choose this house or other aspects of our life together but I'm still here, still dedicated to you. What else do I have to do, to prove that?"

"So that would help? If we moved, chose a house together?" She clasped her forehead, exasperated.

"Ugh, no! I love this house because you chose it, just like I love you. Now let me go to bed." Henry blocked her path once again.

"No, please… I'm just trying to understand. You forget that I know you were engaged before, so is it that? You love me but you were in love with him?"

"Or the experience just confirmed marriage isn't for me. If I'd lost the person I loved most, why would I settle? I'm hardly the type, am I?" He searched her eyes.

"But if it's inconsequential to you why can't we do it? I just want you to be my wife, you know fine well I'll never hurt or leave you!"

"Except I don't! No one can. I don't want marriage because I don’t believe it's a vow anyone can honestly make. You might wake up tomorrow and decide you don't love me anymore, or next week you could meet someone who makes you realise you never did. I'm sorry but having to get divorced just adds insult to injury and I won't do it to myself. I refuse to."

"Oh, darling." Henry tried to move in for a hug but she swiftly raised her hand.

"Stop it. Whether you accept it or not, I continue to be here because I love you, and I'm sorry you think I haven't done enough to make that clear."

"And I'm sorry you think I don't love you as much as you love me." A look flashed briefly across her face.

"When did I say that?!"

"Throughout this entire conversation! So I was right all along, you think I'm just a selfish prick who wants to have his cake and eat it. First it was your father, then your ex, and now me. I'm just the latest in a long line of disappointments, aren't I? What do you want me to do? Give up acting? Will that be a big enough improvement for you?" There was no mistaking the look on her face anymore.

"How dare you. I've always respected what you do--"

“She said sarcastically.”

"Oh whatever, all this really comes down to is you not being able to control me any further than you already do." He stepped back a moment, turning around only halfway when he was ready to speak again.

"You don't really believe that?"

"Either way, I'm never getting married or having children. If that's too much for you then, I suppose... our relationship is already over." Her eyes were distraught and Henry rushed forwards, gripping the sides of her arms.

"No, no. Please, don't say that. I'm not losing you over something like this. Having children is different and besides, I don’t want to share you with anyone else," she felt her heart pinch. "I'm sorry, Okay? I'm just hurt, but I'll get over it. Yes, I'm old-fashioned, I find it hard that you don't let me spoil you, or that we have to take turns paying for holidays. You even have to pay for the upkeep of this place!”

"Yes, because you bought it despite us both living here, why can't I at least contribute?" He finally let her go, sighing as his head dropped down.

"I just want to care of you."

"And you do! Which I'm grateful for and is the reason I do whatever I can to take care of you as well. Marriage gives me the ick, alright? I'm just not lovey-dovey, sue me."

"Bollocks. You spend ages cuddling Kal, cooking for me… do you know you even cuddle up to me at night after you've fallen asleep? I try and stay awake just so--" his voice caught in his throat, "I don't miss it. We don't have to have a wedding, though you seemed to enjoy Mark's and Claire's...”

"I'd enjoy myself at funerals if they had open bars." 

"Well, what if something happens to me? I need to make sure everything's taken care of."

"We can go to a solicitor for that." Henry rubbed his jaw.

"What if we make it just us? We don't have to invite anyone other than the witnesses." She pondered the suggestion for a moment. 

"How about we have a civil union?" He scowled.

"What, where you don't have to change your title, surname, or even be called my wife?"

"Henry that's my last offer, take it or leave it. For fuck's sake why can't I just be your partner? That's all I've ever wanted to be..." She swallowed back her tears but practically fled the room. Henry just stood with his head in his hands. Neither of them slept well that night.

***

The next couple of days passed uneasily, not that she didn't try her best to make things better. She still didn't want to give in to Henry though, no matter how bad it felt not to. She thought she’d sacrificed enough for them to be together. If she said yes to this, then what would be next? It was as she was curled up on the sofa, letting such thoughts churn over and over in her mind, that he came and sat down beside her. After a couple of minutes, he gently took her hand. "Listen, I've thought about what you said and I think I finally understand. With that in mind, I'd like you to accept these as a promise that we'll belong to each other for as long as possible and as best we can.” He looked at her knowingly while pulling two velvet boxes from his pocket. “I got you the same promise ring as mine as I know you don't like anything sparkly, mine's just wider cos I've got big hands and need it to last. You don't have to be a Mrs or take my surname either, though I know you don’t like yours so I thought maybe you could anyway?" His hopeful eyes were met with the mischief in hers.

"But your surname’s awful as well!" He snorted.

"Fair enough, I know it's a nightmare changing everything by deed poll anyway. We can wear the rings on our right hands if you want, so... what do you think?"

"I'll accept it on one condition," she teased, though the tears in her eyes were plain to see.

"Which is?"

"You get down on one knee." Henry stared at her for a moment in disbelief but soon hurled himself to the floor, grinning as she presented her right hand. He took his time, making sure to slide the band on carefully. Once that was done she grabbed his and as gently as her patience would allow, twisted it over his finger. They beamed at each other before he leaped to his feet, pulling her with him so they could kiss and embrace. His heart felt like it was about to burst. "You know, if I'm not your wife then what will you call me?"

"How about 'wagon?'" She giggled and swatted him on the arm. "What about me?"

"Hmm, let's see... what else begins with 'w?'" He roared with laughter, planted another kiss on her mouth, and swept her up into his arms. She knew they were headed for the stairs before he even turned round.

To be updated on when I post please follow @resowrites and turn on post notifications.

@marytudorbrandon @luclittlepond

[yourlocalartsonist]

ROTTMNT Moths Fly In Packs - Chapter One

A/N: HI I’M FINALLY POSTING THE FIRST CHAPTER. Really excited and super nervous but I’m SO happy I can finally share this with everyone. I’m not doing a drawing for every chapter since that’d be selling my soul to the red dilf down below but this is the first chapter so I figured why not do something special. Also apologies if any of the characters seem ooc, I’m still learning how to write them so it might take a bit (especially the dialogue). Also also, sorry if the formatting seem weird, I just copy pasted a google doc into Tumblr and I haven’t entirely figured out how this app works yet. ANYWHIZZLE despite all that I hope y’all enjoy and I can’t wait to write more ^^

Next Chapter

Masterlist

Disclaimer: chapter involves themes of manipulation, violence, and curse words. If you’re sensitive to that stuff, scroll past and stay safe <3

I looked out the window and sighed. Today could have been a lot worse, sure, but it also could’ve been a whole lot better.

It was one am on a Monday night. Staying up this late this early in the week is gonna guarantee a begrudgingly painful school life till Friday. And yet, here I was, staring at my phone at his texts.

Zane: Hey! You were active on insta. How come you didn’t text back?

Zane: hey it’s been an hour now. I’m starting to worry about you

Zane: Salena are you ignoring me? I already said I was sorry

Zane: fine then. Don’t text me. But at least talk to me tomorrow. I miss you.

Zane: Goodnight.

He was getting clingier by the day. Last month when he asked me out, I was worried rejecting him would break his heart. Somehow, it looks like it had the opposite effect and boosted his ego since he’s only gotten more pushy after that. I mean today he picked a fight with a guy just for talking to me. It’s getting ridiculous.

I groaned and hopped off bed to get a drink of water. I know I should probably forgive him, I’m sure he’s just coping differently maybe. It’ll get better with time. I hope it gets better with time. Otherwise the next four months are gonna be excruciatingly long. Still, I can’t just not be mad after what he did.

As I lamented in my depressive thoughts, I saw four figures out the window, running from rooftop to rooftop. Smiling, I opened the window and let the cool air and the joyous voices flow in. At least one good thing’s coming out from today.

It looked like they were chasing someone, a giant pig man specifically. I would’ve been more freaked out if this was the first human-animal thing I saw.

The very first time I saw one was a giant bull in a bellboy uniform running along the sidewalk, clumsily knocking anything and everything over as he wept. I assumed my sleep deprived brain was probably making things up again but the sheer absurdity of it paired with the fact that my sleep schedule was actually decent that week, I began to question that guess. Then, only ten minutes later, seeing four human-sized turtles walking upright seemingly searching for the bull man sealed the deal that I could not be making this shit up.

But that was two or three years ago. Now, it’s more of a fun surprise seeing the new animal person of the week than a sanity-questioning spiral. Most often, I see the turtles passing by. Sometimes they’re goofing off or skateboarding. Other times, they’re chasing someone like right now. I can only assume the pig man is evil if he’s being chased by them. I know the turtles are good since I suspect they’re the “mysterious heroes” that saved New York from that-which-shall-not-be-named a few months back. I mean, who else could it be?

Even if they’re chasing a potential murderous lunatic, they seem like they’re having fun. They’re all smiling and laughing and whizzing around everywhere, just looking at them gives me an adrenaline rush.

I stared out the window longingly as they zipped by, disappearing into the night. Maybe the late night was getting to my brain, but things just felt worse than usual this time. I’ve been watching these four go by my window at least once a week for so long. They always look so fun to be around. Free-spirited and zany, the exact opposite of everyone in my life. Maybe I really am going insane but for once I just want to know them, to see them up close. And if I’m feeling particularly crazy, I might even say hello.

I found my body edging closer and closer out the window. The fire-escape does lead all the way down, and I’m only on the sixth floor anyway. It’s not exactly a fast distance to the ground but it wouldn’t be too bad if I run…

Before I knew it, I was already out dashing in their direction to catch up. I’ve only ever dreamed of having enough courage to actually attempt this. If my aunt finds out I snuck out my grave will be dug and that’s not an exaggeration.

Yet somehow, that didn’t stop me. My skin felt numb from the cold wind, my hair was going crazy behind me. I felt pain in my cheeks from how much I was smiling. I guess I am feeling particularly crazy tonight.

***

By the time I caught up with them, I was embarrassingly out of breath. They were now all ground level in an alleyway and I was hiding just around the corner, close enough to listen in. A little nervous if they can hear my hideous dying dog pants, not just because it would blow my cover but also for the sake of my prestige. They seem a little too distracted by the pig man to notice me, though.

“Alright, meathead! Give us the poison, or I’m gonna smash your head into the wall and keep smashing till I smash the wall down with my smashy little fists!”

Note to self: the red one likes smashing.

“Oh get stuffed you annoying little rats! Can’t a guy sabotage his rival chef’s excuse of a business in peace?”

“GASP! He’s defaming rats!”

They broke out into a fight over what looked to be a large bag of, assumedly, poison. The pig man’s tentacle arms were whipping all over the place, trying to land a blow on the turtles. Oh and apparently his arms can extend which I would find cool if it weren’t for how gross it looked. It’s all drippy and squishy-looking and weird, not a texture I’d want to be near.

I won’t lie, I was kind of distracted from the danger I put myself in since being this close allowed me to properly see the turtles fight. At first glance it looks like they’re flailing all over the place, but it’s actually in a more cohesive way. The blue turtle teleported around and sliced the tentacles attacking them, the red one went in for a punch with giant fists at any opening. Purple guy had glowing guns in his signature color all shooting at the same time and the orange turtle swung around hitting pig man with any object his fiery chains landed on. My god was I awestruck watching them all in action. I was so busy gawking I barely even registered the magic weapons.

One of the flame chains got a hold of his leg and sent the pig guy flying backwards, losing grip of his poison bag.

“Heads up!” The blue one yelled as the bag soared through the air. All the turtles attempted catching it while the pig man’s tentacle arm followed close behind the bag. It looked like it was about to be body horror Peppa Pig’s win.

So I stepped out and grabbed the bag before he could. All eyes now on me, I made a run for it in the other direction realizing how exposed I was. Behind me I could hear a confused “Who was that?” sounding like it was from the purple guy.

Yeah, sure, maybe this wasn’t the smartest move but if I’m getting myself involved I might as well be useful.

I’d break in and out of thought every time I crashed into a wall or slid on the ground. I was never exactly known for my clearly graceful nature. My body started aching. Still I kept running, only stopping to throw a rock or two at one of the stringy pink arms behind me. Seriously, why does that dude have to be so puke-worthy.

A silver blur sped right past my head. The glowing sword stopped in front of me and a familiar blue turtle appeared out of thin air.

“And where do you think you’re going?”

As much as I pride myself on reflexes, the initial shock didn’t wear off fast enough to prevent me from crashing into him and falling back on the ground. I barely had an impact on him, though, since he was still standing perfectly fine with a hand on his hip and the other gripping his weapon.

“Look pal, I have been heroing all week and as much as I love fighting villains and looking badass, I say we make this fast and you just tell me who sent you.”

“S-sent me?” It took me a while to catch on. Not my best day, I know.

“Oh, no no no! I'm not working for anyone! I was trying to help. See?”

I held out the bag towards him, hoping that would convince him I’m not a threat. To my surprise, instead of taking it, he squinted his eyes and me and crouched down to match my height.

“You know, you look kinda familiar. Have we met before?..”

I was too stunned to respond.

Back when I first saw the turtles, after seeing the human bull, I overheard them talking about him and wanting to find him. The blue one especially, he seemed extremely guilty about something. I figured I’d help but I wasn’t brave enough to just go up to them and tell them I saw the bull. I’m too shy to even approach regular humans, these were talking anthropomorphic turtles. So instead I threw a note down and it bounced off blue’s head. He looked at it, read it, then looked up at me. I poked my head out from behind the fire escape and gave an awkward wave, trying to let him know I was on their side. It worked since he directed his team towards where I wrote the bull man went.

I remember later that same night, he knocked on my window. I was a bit freaked out admittedly and hid away by instinct. I wasn’t exactly expecting to see them again.

“Oookay. Well.” I could tell he wasn’t sure how to deal with me. I was regretting hiding but my legs were frozen in place.

“I don’t know if you can hear me since the window’s closed but I wanted to say thanks for the note. We found our guy way faster than we would’ve if we kept having to use Raph’s ideas.” He let out a playful chuckle.

I felt my heart melt a little. I don’t know what I was expecting but it wasn’t really that. I don’t usually hear things like that often.

“So yeah uh, if you can still hear me, thank you.”

My legs started working again as I heard him leap off to leave. I opened the window and rushed out to the fire escape. Luckily, he was on the ground not too far away from me. I called out to him.

“Salena!”

He turned around and saw me. “What?”

I beamed brighter and yelled again.

“My name is Salena!”

“Salena?” His voice brought me back to present day.

“You remember me?”

He let out a cheery laugh. “Of course I remember you! I told you, your note was the only reason we found Bullhop so fast that day.”

“But that was years ago.” I sighed in disbelief as he helped me to my feet.

“And? No face has ever escaped ol’ Neon Leon’s noggon!” He proudly pointed to his brain. I debated telling him the word was noggin.

We heard voices in the distance.

“PUNCHING LIKE A BOSS!!”

“I SWEAR ONE DAY I’LL TURN YOU ALL INTO STEW!”

“GUYS! He wants to turn me into stew!”

“Mikey, that’s not a good thing.”

“Says you! I’d make a delicious stew, thank you very much, Dee!”

“Welp, duty calls! Let’s get you to safety.” With that, he opened a blue portal and pulled me through it to a nearby rooftop. So his swords can teleport and open portals??

“You think you can keep this bag with you?”

I managed to nod.

He gave a smirk and stepped back through his portal to rejoin the battle.

“Leo! Where’s the bag?”

“And the person who stole the bag?” I could still hear red and purple speak.

“Relax, they’re a friend, they’re keeping the bag safe.”

“A new friend?! OMIGOSH!!” Orange seemed excited

The fight picked up fiercer than before. It was hard to keep up with the turtles and the chaos of their weapons. Orange flames, purple lasers, sheathing metal. The ground shook at every red flash. All the while, the air filled with lively laughter and jokes.

Pig man wasn’t going down easy, either. He pounded his giant spiky mallet, probably matching the force of red’s hits. I know they’re experienced fighters and all, but I felt a bit useless sitting around and doing nothing. I looked around for some way I could help.

Luckily, something caught my attention. On the left side of the roof, I could see a pile of bricks laying around. More than perfect for knocking out a mutant. Now the question is how to get them down.

I saw a flash of blue out the corner of my eye.

Bingo.

Screaming at the top of my lungs, hoping my voice wouldn’t be drowned out, I called out to him.

“Blue! Hey, blue up here!”

He followed my voice to where I was, looking a bit confused and worried I was giving myself away.

I pointed to the brick in my hand. “Make a portal on top of him!”

I saw his face light up as he understood my plan. “Great idea!”

As he dashed off, a blue portal opened near me. I rushed around the roof, grunting as I pushed the bricks in. Blue threw a sword in the air, appeared right above the pig, and opened the other side of the portal, letting all the bricks rain down on him. They all looked a bit surprised seeing around 8 or 10 bricks hit him on the head, blue included. Yeah, sure, maybe pushing all of them in was a bit overkill but seeing how crazy powerful this guy was, I didn’t want to risk it.

And boy, was he out cold. The four turtles made their way up the roof, I presume to get the bag of poison.

I glanced back down at the pig “So like…he’s not dead is he?”

“Meatsweats? Nah that guy’s handled way worse.” Blue said strangely casually. “Good thinking with the bricks, btdubs.”

I’d appreciate the compliment more but I was still struggling to figure out what could possibly be worse than bricks to the head.

“Yeah, thanks for your help back there with the poison, too.” red rubbed his neck and gave a sweet smile. For a big guy he seems awfully friend-shaped.

“I’m Raph. These are my brothers Leo, Mikey, and Donnie.” Leo struck a pose, Mikey waved like his life depended on it, and Donnie…well he was just on his phone with his shell turned towards me. It’s a cool shell, at least. I never noticed it wasn’t a real one before.

“I’m Salena. Nice to meet you all.”

People used to tell me I ask too many questions so I got into the habit of just keeping my tongue bit. But I would’ve exploded if I didn’t seize the moment today to find out what the hell was going on. I’m bad at social situations, anyway, might as well be on purpose.

“So if you don’t mind me asking…What are you? How do you exist? Where’d you get your weapons? Did you make your shell yourself? Who was that guy? Can I see what’s in this bag?”

“AHEM! I’m glad you asked!” Donnie turned his attention towards me, dramatically answering my questions. “We, weird human, are the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (trademark). And yes, my battle shell is indeed Genius Built technology. Made this baby when I was twelve.”

“We’re mutant turtles!-”

“Literally just said that in the name Micheal”

“Still think Mad Dogz was better.”

“-And we were made in Draxum’s lab to take over the world back when he was going through his ‘bad boy’ phase but we ended up being heroes instead. Pretty cool right?”

“Hey, inquiry for you actually, why’d you help us anyway?”

I awkwardly answered Donnie, telling them about my luck of random mutants frequently passing by my window. Apparently some of them were Yōkai, Raph said there was a whole Hidden City of them and a doorway leading to it near where I lived. I was a little surprised at how happy they all looked listening to me talk. Usually I’d be told to shut up by now so this was a nice change of pace.

“What happened to your arm?” Leo pointed to the wound on my forearm.

“Oh. That explains why it felt so sore. I guess I scraped against a wall or something? It’s fine, though, I’ll patch it up when I get home.”

“No way. You helped us, we help you. Let the professional do his magic.”

Leo took out some supplies from his pouch. I sat on the edge and let him work on my arm while the rest - mostly Donnie - info dumped their stories to me. At first it was a way to distract me from the initial sting of my cuts being cleaned but it wasn’t long until they got carried away with their storytelling. They told me about their mutation at the lab, how they found out, their two dads and other human friends. The oozequitoes, as they called them, were what made them and all the other mutants. It’s crazy to think these guys were made as literal military weapons considering they’re now wacky vigilantes.

“Voilà! Look and be amazed!”

“Woah! You weren’t kidding when you said professional.” I admired Leo’s bandaging on my arm. It was clean and neat, tight enough to be secure but not turning my fingers blue or anything. Much better job than I would’ve done.

The full moon was beautiful tonight. Unfortunately, it reminded me where I should be at this time.

“Well, I’m really enjoying talking to guys but I should probably go home. I don’t even wanna know how late it is”

“What? But can’t you stay a little longer?” Mikey, who was practically vibrating this whole time, suddenly stopped dead in his tracks. He looked so dejected it made my heart hurt. Raph attempted to comfort him.

“They probably have school Mike. Maybe we can hang out another time, if you’re up for it?”

“REALLY- I mean, yes, yeah. That sounds lovely!” Stay civil, Salena.

“Hey before you go, you should really try one of these.” Leo opened the poison bag and took out a pizza puff? “They are absolutely delicious.”

Poison or not, pizza puff’s a pizza puff.

“NO!“ Unfortunately, Raph slapped the treat out of my hand before I could plop it in my mouth.

We bid our farewells and Mikey handed me a paper with their numbers on it paired with some cute doodles of them. After telling him where to go, Leo opened a portal to my room. I know you’re not supposed to tell strangers your address and it did feel a little weird but a portal was the fastest way home. No way I’m hoofing it this late in the night. I love New York but not that much.

Sitting on my bed now, I observed the blue turtle as he was getting ready to go back. The red stripes around his eyes made me realize he was a red-eared slider, I read about them back when I was six or seven I think.

“Hey Leo?”

“Yeah?”

I smiled. “It was nice running into you again.”

He gave his signature smirk “Funny how life works, ay?”

He waved and fell back into his portal. I closed my eyes for a bit, then grabbed my sketchbook.

Placing Mikey’s doodles on a blank page, I wrote down their respective eye colors.

Green, brown, yellow, blue.

Next Chapter | Salena Moni

[ryboflavindid]

So today/yesterday (it’s almost 5am right now) I unfused with host… And then I became integrated with another within my system who was not fused with host. It was all very confusing when it was happening, I wasn’t sure who I was until I was. I’m back, interacting with the world and it’s like, I was never gone when I was fused, but it was different. If that makes any sense whatsoever.

I’m not sure where Whisper is right now. I suppose I’ve just accepted her presence fronting with me at the moment. We have an accent, but we never express it out loud usually. I’ve agreed with Whisper to talk in my voice more often. She has as well. She makes a habit of talking out loud when no one else is around to get use to talking instead of just whispering. In any case, those of us who front the most are extremely skilled at masking our accent and we make sure not to speak like that in public or around any friends or family unless it’s as a joke for brief periods. It is extremely fun to talk in my real accent in front of other people. Others within my system would not agree and are not fearful to try it but me and Wonder and the host are trying to make it a habit.

Wonder and the host are still fused. I just left that fusion. I’m not sure how they feel about it because I’ve sort of been taking the reigns today. I don’t feel like checking in with them because I know what they’re going to say/feel. They’re going to be a bit sad. They are. They think I shouldn’t be back online posting about my disordered thoughts but they’re wrong.

Why exactly? Because I need a place to vent. I need someone other than us. I need someone other than myself. I need a place to write and record how I feel and most of all, I need to keep myself in check so I don’t become overweight or obese. It’s my worst nightmare and I’ve gained so much weight since I recovered last year. I’m over it. I don’t want to be sick or anything, but I want my body back and I want to feel the way I felt at my lowest weight. I want my old favorite clothes to fit again, I don’t want to buy new ones. I want to eat less and feel weightless. I was to feel my bones… I want it all. I can’t take it anymore. I’ve already said my prayers to my Lord for help through this and I asked Him, my Saviour, to carry me through it. I don’t want to hurt myself and I don’t want to be living in sin. However, I also need a change or I’m going to be driven mad. I must find a way to get back to my lowest weight. I just must. I don’t want to live this way, stuffing my face with food every day. I don’t want to be that type of person ever. The type of person who goes from AnNA to BED. Never. I will never allow that to ever happen.

So first things first include weighing myself again to see the ugly truth. I don’t even know what I weigh right now. I was intuitively eating for so long, banned from the scale by myself (by host, really, but I agreed at the time), banned from any type of food restrict10000n. I am hiding these words because I don’t want this post to be flagged or taken down… I’m not tagging these but just in case.

I need to get to sleep so that I can wake up around 11am and then take care of my morning hygiene. Then I’ll go on a walk. After my walk I’ll take a shower and do my skincare regimen. Goodnight to me. I’ll probably be the only one reading this ever. I hope that I can wake up earlier than the afternoon. I hate waking up in the afternoon but my sleep schedule is reversed from what is normal at the moment due to staying up late out of excitement, studying and playing games and enjoying this free time I have lately.

Sweet dreams~

[fragilecapricornconfessions]

I think I may have asked you before if you have ever seen the movie 50 First Dates starring Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore. In this movie, Drew Barrymore's character gets into a bad car accident, and she has memory loss as a result of it. Her character and Sandler's character start dating in the movie, and every morning, he has to remind her that they are dating. Her memory always reverts back to the day before her accident, I believe. I haven't seen the movie in many years. In any case, the reason I bring it up is because I want these posts to serve as a reminder in a way. I fear that we may go months if not years without speaking to one another. I am already devastated by your absence, but in the event that we go a prolonged period time without speaking, I want these posts to serve two purposes: 1. I want you to see that I haven't stopped loving you all of this time. I have been thinking about you fondly and deeply every single day. 2. In case you have lost sight of what we once had, I want these posts to remind you of everything that we have been through while also making up for lost time. I recall you telling me one day about why you keep asking me about my family and my whereabouts. You told me that the reason you ask so many questions and that you ask them so often is because, when we used to see each other regularly, you always knew what I was up to. When you couldn't see me regularly, this was your only way of knowing what I'm doing or what I'm up to. I want to still provide you with these constant updates so that, in the fortuitous event that we reconnect and that my heart is able to feel the privilege and power of your love again, I want you to know everything that I have done during the silence. In many ways, it hurts me so deeply to not know what you're doing. It hurt me in so many ways that I can't just reach out to you and make sure you're doing well. I can't say good morning to you as I used to. I can't wish you a goodnight. I can't look into your beautiful, brown eyes and tell you how much you mean to me. I can't do any of these things anymore. I truly can't think of a fate more cruel than this. I have ruminated what could potentially be worse than this, and I keep drawing blanks. In my opinion, nothing is worse than not having you in my life. This is a fate worse than death. At least, while I'm alive, there always exists the possibility of a reunion. There is a chance I'll see your smiling face again. There is the hope that I will get to feel the warmth of your hug again. There is the dream that you and I will create a beautiful future together. I believe it. I believe in it all. Believe me, I do. I just need you to believe it too. If I am lucky enough that you get to read all of these posts one day, I want you to know that I have never lost hope. I want you to know and acknowledge that there is this guy crazy enough about you that he took the time to write countless, undelivered communications for you. You have occupied the deepest recesses of my mind, and you will continue to do so until I take my dying breath. I never believed in soul mates until I met you. Now I know with absolute certainty that soul mates incontrovertibly exist. They do. They are us. I love what we are. I want us to continue being us. I don't want us to fall prey to what the world thinks we should be. Others' opinion should have no bearing on our happiness, our plans for the future, and what we think should be the result of our friendship. I need you so badly. My heart is in such pain. I drove around for at least an hour today, and I cried the whole time. I kept thinking about how every pedestrian who was looking at me must have thought something is wrong with me. They wouldn't be wrong to assume that. I haven't been this vulnerable ever before in my life. I had a long talk with God today. I had asked him for a sign yesterday, and he didn't give it to me. I love the sign he gave me on December 13th, but I got nothing yesterday. I prayed so much and so hard for it but to no avail.

[teebarnes]

I Am Definitely In Love | Sebastian Stan x Reader

| Word Count: 600

| Summary: You are Sebastian's secret not so secret girlfriend that everyone is always asking about, especially on Sebastian's live-steams.

| Warning(s): Just pure fluff ballzzzz

A/N: I'm slowly getting back into the hang of posting again (wrote this a while ago, but I think I got this idea from tik tok maybe?). Also, this is me posting fics I wasn't too happy with but didn't want to waste the writing hehe... Enjoy!

All mistakes are my own, please do not repost, copy or translate my fics; all writing is my own.

Today, Sebastian was on a spontaneous live stream, something he would randomly do when he felt like it. His fans especially love his live streams and often ask about his girlfriend, knowing full well that he has a girlfriend; that question never shies away from the conversation. He set his phone up on the coffee table, so he didn't have to hold it.

Sebastian is going through all the comments saying hello to people in different countries. Scrolling through, he notices frequent comments like "where is your girlfriend?" Or "Can we see your girlfriend" and also "how is she?" All the while reading them out loud as he is on the live stream. You quietly chuckle to yourself as you're scooped up on the couch in front of him snuggled in one of his oversized hoodies watching the T.V. "I don't know actually, I should ask, shouldn't I?" He winks to the camera.

He looks up to you as your focus is on the T.V and your favourite series "How are you today, my love?" He asks; your focus on the T.V stops, and you carefully turn your head to him, both of you smiling at each other. He awaits your response as you make a serious face trying to give a genuine answer. He loved that about you; you thought a lot about things, and when you thought a lot, you gave the most meaningful answers.

However, today you smiled back at him, giving him two thumbs up with your hands before turning back to watch your show. You didn't want to reveal your voice as you knew some people would notice who you were, so that was your short answer.

He chuckled at you before looking back to the live "ah huh… well, she gave me two thumbs up, so I am assuming that she is super good" he looks back to you as you nod agreeably. He laughs before scolding back through the comments, "HE IS SO IN LOVE"… "awe oh my gosh, I hope they last forever"… "look at the way he smiles when he is with her" the comments continued, which made Sebastian blush more "thank you guys for all the kind comments" he laughed "I'm sure she appreciates them as well". He leans back into his chair, talking more and interacting with the fans.

An hour later, he is finishing his live stream…

He looks up to see you softly sleeping on the couch, snuggled in his hoodie with your face covered. He looked back to his phone, beginning to whisper, "alright guys, well that's the end of today's live.. I'll see you all next week. Thank you for joining me", stopping the live stream and closing Instagram, he quickly opens up the camera app. He takes a few photos of you snuggled before shoving his phone into the back of his pocket.

Sebastian wraps his arms around you, kissing you all over your face softly, "cmon baby, let's head to bed" your eyes slowly flutter open, smiling as you wrap your arms around his neck. He picks you up, carrying you like a koala "alright if that's how we're going to sleep", he laughs softly, walking the pair of you to your bed. He lays you down softly, taking his shirt off.

He hops in behind you. You unconsciously take the oversized warm jumper off, throwing it to the floor. He wraps his arms back around you, pulling you closer to his chest before kissing your cheek "goodnight, love", he smiled, pulling the blanket over the pair of you. "Night night", you chuckled before falling back to sleep in his arms, holding them in yours.

Feel free to message me if you would like to be removed from the taglist 🥰

Taglist: @lharrietg @buckyfan12 @afraid-to-be-me @fairityretro @livstilinski@morganwilliams @natyvwe @hiddlespiddles-blog @iwannabekilledtwice@honeybuckybarnes @bbl32 @in-my-body-bag @enaticosencantados@capsiclecevanss

Future Fics Taglist: @avengerbitch @elizabeth228 @aprilpari

[sleepysnk]

i finally got some time to post some Eren smut. it's fluffy and cute, i hope you all enjoy! :)

Making Love

Pairings: Streamer!Eren Jaeger x Virgin!Fem!Reader

Warnings: NSFW

"Are you serious right now? This game is so ass!"

Yelling could be heard from Eren's room as he was currently streaming at the moment. He was playing a new game his fans had suggested for him to play, and it wasn't going exactly well. It was difficult and he couldn't get past certain levels because of the frame rates; it annoyed him to no end.

"I seriously need to play demos before buying it.." Eren sighed, rubbing his temples in frustration.

It wasn't pretty late, it was around 10:30 p.m. he started his stream a little earlier because he wanted to head to sleep; as well as spend more time with his girlfriend. She wanted to at least have some cuddling time with Eren before bed, and he agreed that it'd be nice. 

"Baby?"

His attention went towards the door where he saw his girlfriend standing. She was leaning against the frame, a look of worry written on her features. 

Eren moved one of his headphones to one side. "What's up (Y/N)? Is everything okay, beautiful?" he asked, raising a brow. 

She chewed on her bottom lip. "Are you almost done?" she asked.

He looked at the time, he also took notice that she had her pajamas on; maybe it was a good time to log off. 

"Yeah, give me a minute, okay?" he replied, looking back up at her. 

jaegerist45: lady calling?

erensimp43: tell y/n hello!

jaegerbombfan20: you look tired Eren

Eren laughed a bit, "Yeah she's calling, I'll for sure tell her hey, and yeah I am pretty tired. Exams have been killing me lately.." he replied. "I think I'm going to end this one a bit early today guys.. I'll probably have a longer stream next week for sure."

His fans sent a few goodnight messages and told him to sleep well, a few told him to say hey to (Y/N). He waved at the camera before ending the stream, he could feel the tiredness setting into his eyes. 

"(Y/N)! I finished streaming!" he called, standing up and cracking a few of his joints. Sitting down in one space really made his body stiff. 

The door cracked open and (Y/N) came walking towards him, a smile on her features. "How did the stream go?" she asked, looking down at him. 

Eren looked up from his phone. "It went well, the game was shitty though," he chuckled. "Come sit"

Eren patted the spot on his lap, (Y/N) gladly sat down; adjusting her legs onto him. 

Eren snaked his arm around her waist, pressing a kiss onto her cheek. "You tired?" he asked, nodding his head. 

She drew circles onto the muscles of his chest. "Mmm, not really, I just wanted to spend time with you is all," she replied, looking into his emerald eyes. 

His hand settled onto her thigh, where he began to circle the skin; goosebumps flaring. "Come here.. I wanna kiss you," he said, turning her face to face his. 

Their lips connected with one another, Eren's lips were always so soft; they made (Y/N) dizzy whenever he kissed her. 

Eren deepened the kiss, his tongue swiping along her bottom lip; to which she allowed access to her mouth. A slight moan escaping her throat. 

"Eren.." she moaned, putting her hands into his hair. 

His body suddenly felt hot, almost feverish. He could feel the way (Y/N)'s body was getting warm, she always got warm whenever the two were like this. It was crazy to see what Eren could do to her by just kissing. 

"Fuck, you're so tempting right now," Eren said, moving his lips down to her neck; her pulse beating quickly. 

She felt his teeth grazing her skin, his tongue gliding against her sweet spot. Mewls were coming from her lips, Eren's mind was going crazy from all of it. 

"E-Eren, wait.." she said, looking towards him. 

He looked at her with blown pupils. "Shit.. did I make you uncomfortable? I'm sorry," he said, chewing his cheek. Eren sometimes forgot that (Y/N) was a virgin, he never wanted to take things too far. 

She ran her fingers along his jawline. "No baby you're fine.. I was thinking.. I – shit um – I might be ready," she replied, her cheeks hot. 

Eren nodded, "Are you sure? I mean.. I don't want you to be uncomfortable, or regret it later."

She smiled, "I'm sure.. just as long as you're the one who does it," she replied. 

"We'll go slow, okay? You can pull my hair if you want to stop," he said, hugging her tightly against him. 

She shook her head, "Okay.." 

Eren lifted her up bridal-style, a small yelp coming from her mouth. He carried her over to their bed, laying her down on the sheets; she looked so pretty beneath him. He wanted to be gentle with her, take his time, make her feel good for her first time; no lousy shit.

He hovered over her body, his breath fanning over her face. "I love you.." he whispered, leaning down towards her neck. He began to press small kisses into her skin, every so often he'd graze his teeth to leave a mark. 

"I love you too.." she replied, putting her fingers into his hair. 

Eren kissed down the valley between her breasts, then down to her belly and towards her navel. His lips trailing and leaving small wet patches on her skin, it made her shiver whenever his breath ghosted over them. 

"I'm going to take your shirt and your pants off, okay? If you feel uncomfortable just pull on my hair," he said, looking down at her. 

She nodded, "Okay.." she replied. 

Eren lifted her shirt over her head, her breasts fully exposed. Her nipples grew hard from the cold air, she felt suddenly shy; almost bashful. She hadn't shown anyone what her body looked like, not even Eren. 

Her arm suddenly flew to her breasts, covering them. Eren noticed and grabbed her hand, "You don't have to cover up princess, they're beautiful, just like you." 

He slowly moved her arm away so he could get a better look, he used one of his hands to massage her mound. His middle and index finger played with her hard nipple. 

A small moan escaped her mouth from the contact. "Eren.." 

He smirked, "You like that huh? I like your tits, they're cute," he said with a smile. 

She giggled a bit, that's what Eren liked to hear. She wasn't uncomfortable, she wasn't weirded out, she felt good in his presence. He wanted her at ease. 

"I'm going to take your shorts off, okay?" he said, looking up at her again. 

She shook her head, "Okay"

Eren hooked his fingers underneath the band of her shorts, he pulled the fabric down her legs and tossed them into another part of the room. She was wearing white panties, his cock slightly twitched at the sight. He noticed a darkened spot, she was wet. 

He used the pad of his thumb to lightly rub her clothed clit. She jolted a bit from the contact, Eren took notice of how sensitive she was already, it made him ache in his sweatpants.

"Can I take these off? I want to make you feel good," he asked, looking up at her. 

She shook her head, "Yes.. you can"

Eren removed her underwear, her pussy now fully exposed. She pressed her thighs together a bit, that familiar feeling of embarrassment taking over. Eren was seeing her naked, sure, he had seen her in a bra or without pants; but this was different. He was the first person to ever see her like this.

Eren was focused on her pussy, it was pretty. Her slick coated her folds and it leaked down to her ass, he couldn't wait to taste her; savor every bit of what she was like. 

"Fuck.. you're so beautiful," Eren praised, his voice coming out soothing; almost speechless.

He pressed wet kisses into her thighs, nibbling a few times at the skin. A small whimper came from (Y/N)'s mouth, her body was growing hot and she could feel herself getting more wet by the minute. 

"E-Eren, please.. can we – um uh – move a little quicker?" she asked, desperation coming from her voice. 

Eren stopped to look at her. "Oh yeah, I just want you comfortable princess. I'll get things started," he replied, fixing his bun. 

He maneuvered himself so he was now laying on his stomach, his print was pressing into the bed. As much as he wanted to get things over with, this was his girlfriend. The love of his life, it was her pleasure over his anyday; especially right now. This wasn't a quick fuck, this was him making love to her. 

Eren buried his face in between her legs, he took a deep breath; the scent filling his nose. His tongue slowly licked up her folds, a moan coming from his girlfriend. 

He put his hands around the flesh of her thighs, spreading her apart so he can reach deeper parts of her. His tongue dragged along her pussy, his eyes looking up towards her to see any discomfort. What he saw was the exact opposite.

She looked so fucking pretty.

Her lips were glossy and parted, small moans were coming out of her mouth and her eyes were shut. A sight that made Eren's cock ache even more. 

"Eren, more! More, please!" she cried, digging her nails into his scalp. 

His nose was against her clit, his tongue swirling around and savoring the taste. He slightly hummed against her, he took note on the way her face changed when he did that. 

Eren sat up for a second, his chin covered in her arousal; his lips slightly pink. "Shit, you taste good," he said, hovering over her. 

He leaned down to kiss her, she could taste her slick on his lips. She put her arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. 

His finger went down towards her clit, it traveled down to her hole. She suddenly felt his finger entering inside of her, a gasp coming from her throat. 

"O-Oh, fuck!" she said, grinding her hips against his hand. 

Eren curled his finger around to reach that spot inside of her. "You're doing so good for me.. you're such a good girl," he said, kissing her cheek. 

Her walls fluttered around his finger, he slowly moved in and out, her arousal coating his fingers. Eren curled around again, her eyes suddenly seeing white as he continued to finger her at a slow pace. 

"B-Baby.. oh my God!" she said, gasping a little. 

He smirked, "You like that beautiful?" he asked. 

She nodded her head, her hand going down to meet his wrist. "Like that," she said, angling his hand upwards toward her g-spot. 

He used his thumb to circle her clit, her walls were sucking his finger in and he could feel that she was getting close. He never knew she could be this sensitive let alone be this submitting to him; he liked it.

A knot formed near her belly, it was threatening to snap at any moment. "E-Eren.. I'm g-gonna cum.." she whimpered, grinding up towards him. 

Eren slowed his movements before removing his fingers away from her pussy, he didn't want her to cum just yet. He wanted her around him for that, she needed to experience a real orgasm, not from his fingers, but from his own cock. 

"I-Is something wrong?" she asked, concern dripping from her voice. 

Eren smiled, "Not at all, I just want you to experience the real thing," he replied. 

He got off the bed and began to remove his sweats, a print was prominent and a wet spot was visible on the material. Eren was itching to get them off the second he saw her naked.

She rubbed her thighs together as she watched Eren's sweats drop to the floor, his cock sprang free. It wasn't too big, but it wasn't small either. 

"Should I..?" she asked, looking at the red tip. 

He looked down at his dick then back at her. "What? Oh, no. Not just yet princess, it's your pleasure tonight over mine," he replied, walking towards the bed. "Are the condoms in there?"

She chewed her lip, "Do we have to do it with a condom..?" she asked. 

Eren thought to himself for a moment, would going in without protection be a good idea? He's done it before, maybe once or twice, but how would she feel? Eren was going to take her virginity and he wanted to take as many precautions as possible, it was her pleasure over his.

"Are you sure you don't want a condom? I want you comfortable," he asked, cupping her cheek. 

She looked at the table beside the bed then back towards him. "I want to feel you Eren, that's all," she replied, running her nails against his shoulder. 

He looked at her, "If that's what you want then I'll go in without one, if anytime you want to stop-"

"Tug on your hair, got it," she cut him off, a smile on her features. 

Eren chuckled before leaning down to kiss her. "It's going to feel a little uncomfortable at first, but I promise it'll feel good later," he said, looking into her eyes. 

She shook her head, swallowing thickly. Her heart pounded against her ribcage, it was now or never, she was so ready for this moment. 

Eren positioned his cock at her entrance, he rubbed the tip along her slick folds; a groan coming from his throat from the pleasure. She slightly whined at the feeling, it felt so good. 

He took a deep breath before entering into her, she cried out in pleasure, Eren's cock filling her up felt so amazing. He groaned as her walls sucked him in, she was so tight and wet, it made him go crazy. 

He looked down at her face to see if she was in any pain, her eyes were squeezed shut; her teeth biting her lip. Eren intertwined his fingers with hers as he leaned down to kiss her, his hips slowly easing into her so he could bottom out. 

"F-Fuck.. you feel amazing," he said, kissing her cheek. 

She put her arms around his neck, bringing his chest towards hers. "I love you.." she said, inhaling his scent.

He chuckled, "I love you more baby.. let me know when I can move," he replied. 

Eren fully bottomed out, he gave her some time to adjust. He didn't want to move quickly, it could hurt her, it'd make Eren so upset if he accidentally did anything to make her first time bad. 

"U-Um.. you can move," she said, tugging on his hair. 

He hummed before starting to slowly thrust into her, his pace was sort of testing the waters he wanted to see if she wanted him to stop at all. All he saw was her lips parting open, small whimpers and moans escaping as he moved. 

"S-Shit.. Eren! It feels so good.." she whimpered, throwing her head back. 

His tip brushed up against her g-spot, her vision became hazy as he kept moving into her. Her walls were sucking him in, it felt so good, Eren swore her pussy was made for him. He loved every inch of her.

"Fuck, baby you feel so good.. I wanna fuck you so good," he said, his voice slightly raspy. 

His pace started to pick up, the sound of her squelching pussy filled the room, his balls slapping against her clit. 

"Yes! Eren! Shit!" she cried, digging her nails into his back. 

Eren leaned on his knees to savor the view, she looked so fragile beneath him; like an angel almost. He couldn't break her he had to control himself just a bit, as much as he would love to take control and ravish her, he wanted her to remember this. Only the best for his baby.

His head went back, eyes fluttering shut as he thrusted. "(Y/N).. princess.." he groaned, squeezing the plush of her thigh. 

That familiar knot began to form in her stomach, her legs began to tremble and a layer of sweat formed onto her skin. 

"E-Eren.. I'm close!" she moaned, gripping the sheets beneath her. 

Eren leaned down again to meet her face, either of his arms beside her head. His lips pressed onto hers, they were hot and wet. 

"Cum around me baby.. you can do it beautiful," he said, slowing his thrusts. "I love you.."

As if on queue, her walls tightened around his cock. Her thighs trembling and her moans pouring out endlessly, it was like music to Eren's ears; heaven like. 

"I love you too.." she said in between pants. 

His cock twitched inside of her, his own orgasm slowly approaching. Eren picked up the pace just a little, he wanted to pull out and finish the job that way. He wasn't ready to cum in her; not just yet. 

"I'm g-gonna cum.." he said, burying her face into her neck. 

Eren twitched one last time before he pulled out, his thick cum pouring onto her belly. He slowly jerked his dick to get it all out, her name poured out of his mouth. 

"Shit.." he said, looking down at her with a lazy smile. 

Her eyes were half-lidded and a smile was on her features. "That was great.." she said, laying her head back onto the pillow.

Eren grabbed a few tissues and wiped the cum off her belly, he then tossed it into the garbage can. A few strands of his hair were stuck on his forehead from the sweat, he could care less about how he was feeling. 

He collapsed beside her, his arm snaking around her waist. "I love you so much," he said, pressing a kiss into her cheek. "I hope I wasn't too rough.."

She ran her fingers down between her thighs, she winced feeling the soreness of her muscles. "Not too bad.. I'll be fine, but thank you, Eren." she replied, turning to face him. 

He smiled, "You're so pretty, I want to make you my wife," 

She giggled, running her fingers along his hair. "Maybe.. we need to get settled first," she said, kissing his nose. 

"I'm glad to be your first.. just know I'll be your last," Eren said, pulling her body closer towards him. 

She buried her face into his chest. "I like the sound of that."

Eren placed his chin on her head before closing his eyes, he finally made love to (Y/N) and he couldn't be happier.

[goddesswritings]

“Can I slap her for you?” -  Corpse Husband | Part Two

Title: “Can I slap her for you?” – Part Two

Pairing: Corpse Husband x Reader

Summary: Being stuck living with the queen of YouTube drama and partying during the pandemic has seriously worn down your patience. Meeting Pokimane has changed your life for the better, making Among Us a pivotal part of your life.

Word Count: 5.2k

Unedited for now. I was eager to post. I will edit it later.

Corpse Masterlist

********

<< PART ONE

After you left the apartment, you sat in the parking lot of some random store, trying to decide what to do now. Sighing, you opened your phone and went to Instagram. Corpse was probably wondering if it went okay.

Corpse: She left the stream, thank you!

Corpse: What exactly did you do?

Corpse: She’s sending Sean angry DM’s now.

Corpse: Hey, are you okay?

Y/n: Hey sorry, I had to pack. I’m fine, happy to help get her out of the stream. I switched off the power to her office.

Honestly, you wished you could have stood up against her more often than you did. She was four years younger, so you should have been able to have the say in things. But no, Olivia was a control freak and a spoiled brat too. She would no doubt tell your parents you started a fight with her, and she felt unsafe.

Corpse: Wow, you’re badass. Packing for what?

Y/n: Um, she may have kicked me out of the apartment, and I may have left without a fight because I’m tired of her shit. 🤷‍♀️

Corpse: Do you have a place to stay?

Of course you didn’t and you really should have thought about that before just leaving the way you did.

Y/n: Not really but I will find somewhere.

Well you hoped you could. There weren’t many people who were keen in taking in a friend during a pandemic.

Corpse: Poki’s going to call you.

At that message, your phone started to wring and sure enough, it was Poki.

“Hello?” You asked hesitantly.

“So someone let it slip that your sister kicked you out?” Poki said calmly.

“Is that someone, Corpse?”

“Yes, he said it out of shock but I’m glad he did. Knowing you, you would have kept it a secret from me.” She was right. You hated inconveniencing your friends.

“Damn you, Corpse.” You muttered making her laugh. “Yeah so I ruined Olivia’s stream and she started screaming at me before kicking me out. I didn’t fight it because I am tired of her.”

“Understandable. Well do you need somewhere to stay?”

“Yes but I will find some place.”

“Nope, you’re staying with me. Come over now or I am coming out to drag you back to my place.” Her protectiveness made you smile.

“Sure, I’ll be there in a few.” You hung up.

Y/n: Thank you for looking out for my stubborn ass, Corpse. I would have never told her.

Corpse: Stubborn is one word to describe you. Cute is another.

That comment made your face heat up from the sheer adorableness of it. Corpse seriously just called you cute.

Y/n: Can I say you have a genuinely nice hand. It’s marvelous.

Corpse: Hey, don’t make fun of my hand. It takes all the heat for me. That hand is very anxious every time I post him.

Y/n: Awe I bet. Give him hugs from me. Also tell him I’m a big fan!

The easy flow of conversation between the two of you was nice. You got along extremely well and talking outside of the game was nice, since you could focus on what you really wanted to say to him.

Corpse: He’s flattered!

This was great and took your mind off Olivia and the fact she just kicked you to the curb with nowhere to go. But Poki was there for you. You appreciated her more than she knew.

You pulled up in front of her apartment building, parking the car, you got out and grabbed your stuff. Typing in the code Poki had given you a while ago, you were let into the building. Entering the elevator, you made your way to her apartment.

Barely knocking, the door flew open to reveal Poki. She looked mad but also worried. She pulled you into the apartment and hugged you tightly.

“Can I slap her for you?” She asked calmly.

This made you giggle. “I mean I would like to slap her as well.”

“We should make a plan. Hey, the group is still on, come say hi.” She started to lead you to her office.

“Are they still streaming?” You didn’t want to reveal your face to the world, not like this.

“Oh no. We ended our streams when Olivia started talking about you. She completely wasn’t respecting your privacy and we weren’t about to let her spill it to our viewers.” That was so sweet of them to do.

You had left your bags in the other room while you followed her. An idle conversation was going on when you entered.

“Hey guys, I’m back.” Poki took a seat in front of the computer, she pulled up a second chair. “I have someone special here.”

Sitting down, you saw her nod for you to say something. “Hey, did you miss me?”

They went wild.

“Y/n! Oh we missed you!”

“Don’t leave us again.”

“I’m sorry I invited your sister to stream.”

“Hey Y/n.”

The mix of voices was overwhelming in a good way. Sykkuno, Rae, Sean, and Corpse pretty much spoke over each other which made you laugh.

“One at a time, guys. You can’t overload her.” Leslie told them.

“Sorry Y/n. We just really missed having you here. You’ve become one of our favorite friends to play with.” Sykkuno said sounding as sweet as ever. That man was just the best.

“Yes, I can say we agree.” Rae added.

It was nice to hear they missed you. It really helped to lift your mood as well.

“Did your sister really kick you out?” Toast asked

“Yes she did. But it’s not surprising at this point. She’s probably been gunning to kick me out as soon as she could.” Sad truth

“Well she’s the worst player ever. She can’t keep a secret at all. I really should have never agreed to get her into the group.” Sean said sounding sad.

“Hey Sean, please don’t worry about it. She’s always weaseling her way into things. It’s completely not your fault.” One of the things she loved to do was incessantly DM other youtubers for collabs or for free stuff. She really had no morals.

“Well thank you, Y/n. You’re literally the sweetest.” Sean said earning a bunch of ‘I Agrees’ from everyone else. That really was helping make the night better.

“Who’s up for some more Among Us to relax after that shitshow?” Lud asked making everyone laugh hard. It was agreed the group would do it. Luckily, you had your laptop and joined the call and game and stayed in Poki’s living room to play. Honestly, it was so good for you.

**

At the end if gaming, you said goodbye to the group. Then Poki showed you to the extra room that used to be her roommates before she moved out last month.

“Hey, are you looking for a roommate?” You asked as you put the bags on the bed.

Poki sent you a smile. “I am. Are you interested?”

This was good. “Yes, I mean I still have to find another job since my main is still furloughing me until this pandemic gets better but I have some money saved up.”

“Hey, please don’t sweat it. Besides, I know a friend who’s in need of an editor, I may have mentioned your name and she really wants to talk to you about it. Is that okay?”

“Wow, that’s perfect. Thank you, Poki. You’re such a great friend.” It felt good to have someone there for you.

She pulled you into a hug. “Always. I am so glad I met you. You’re one of my best friends.”

This was an honor. “Don’t make me cry.”

“I can’t promise anything. Anyway, I will leave you to rest. It’s been a long night. Tomorrow I will give you my friends details.”

“Sounds good, night Poki.”

“Goodnight, Y/n.” She waved goodbye and closed the door behind herself.

Smiling, you sat on the bed. It was such a good thing that she was here got you. But also Corpse was the catalyst that got you to actually tell Poki was what happening. He was sweet and it seemed he was looking out for you.

After changing into comfy pj’s, you brushed your teeth before climbing into the freshly made bed. Opening Instagram, you saw that Corpse has messaged you.

Corpse: I don’t like being too forward but hey here we go. Can I please have your number so we can talk more easily?

A smile made its way to your face. For a tough man, he surely had a sweet way of getting to you

Y/n: Yes you can. xxx-xxx-xxxx.

The nerves jumped when you sent that message. Less than a minute later, you received a text from an unknown number.

xxx-xxx-xxxx

Hey Y/n, it’s Corpse. Would you mind if I called you so we could talk for a little?

You liked this idea truthfully. It only helped to show how genuine Corpse was being.

Y/n

Not at all. Please go ahead and call me.

Your phone rang, displaying Corpse’s name.

“Hello?” You answered the phone while pushing away the anxiety.

A soft deep laugh filled your ear. “Hey sweet girl. How are you feeling?”

His words made you want to sigh in the most lovesick way. That never happened these days.

“I’m good. Poki had an extra room I could crash in and well I might just be her new roommate.”

“I love that. She’s so much better than your sister I assume.”

“She is. Here I won’t have to deal with the incessant pandemic partying Olivia likes to do.” That selfish bitch.

“Shit, is she stupid? She does know she’s risking a lot of lives, right?” You loved that Corpse had the logic you craved.

“So she is stupid, and her response was always that it’s not her problem and that the vulnerable people should stay home.”

“She sounds like the typical beauty youtuber these days.”

“Yes, she is. She has no morals.”

“Well that’s not good. I guess that’s why her name keeps popping up all over social media. She really needs to be careful, before she becomes the next Tana.” He was right but you personally thought she was past that point already.

“It’s too late. She’s already passed the point of return with all of this.”

“Yikes. It’s good you got out of there when you did.” A soft but deep laugh was heard through the phone. The sound made you giggle. Hearing such a tough guy laugh the way Corpse laughs, made you feel giddy. “So about what I said earlier, I meant it.”

“Huh, what are you talking about?” You truly were a little lost by this.

Corpse laughed again. “When I called you cute earlier. I meant it.”

Heat filled your face and a small smile made its way to your lips. “Thank you, Corpse. That’s really sweet of you. I don’t like to show many people who I am because they will immediately connect me to Olivia, and I don’t want that.”

“I get that. I don’t show my face for fear they won’t like me when I do. All my fans have built up this expectation of what they want me to look like and now I just don’t want to let them down. Plus it’s nice being able to stay anonymous if I go into public, but of course people will hear my voice and know. Shit, it’s hard.”

“Awe, I’m sorry. I saw what the attention has done to some people, but I think not everyone goes into that headspace. Also, I think you should stay faceless if it makes you feel better. There is no rule that says you ever have to show your face. People who push you to do it have no boundaries.”

Corpse was quiet for a while and you thought you had offended him. “I’m sorry if I said the wrong thing, Corpse.” You squeaked.

“No, you said the right thing. I was just thinking. You’re right. A lot of people have been on me to reveal my face, but I never intend to. I want to be able to live my life without being swarmed by fans, or god forbid, them judging me by my appearance.”

“Which is really fucked. When I first appeared in my sister video, the comments were awful. They couldn’t understand how she was related to me, but I never thought I looked bad. But I guess they expected Olivia to be surrounded by people in her genre. It was so hard to see those comments.” Thinking back to it, Olivia had even added to it. Telling you that you should have tried to look more like her for the video. You should have worn something more colorful and put-on way more make up then you liked. But you hated that. That wasn’t you.

“I can’t imagine the things they said. Is that why you deactivated your twitter?” How did he know about that?

“Oh, yeah. How did you know about it?”

“I remembered seeing a story about it on YouTube last year. They didn’t show your face, so of course I didn’t know it was you. But I figured it out when Olivia joined the game tonight and she blabbered on about being your sister. I’m sorry you received that hate. No one deserves that ever.” His voice was calming you now.

“Thank you. Olivia seemed to add to it, as well. Fuck, she’s just the worst person.” Family definitely had the ability to be shitty. “Meeting Poki last year really was the best thing. But also joining this Among Us group has been so good for me. Thank you for accepting me.”

“Of course. You’re a natural in the game but you also fit very well with the group.” Corpse really hoped you believed him because this was true. The group had a whole conversation about it when Olivia finally left

“I’m flattered. The Corpse Husband is telling me I fit in with him and his streamer friends. Wake me up, I must be dreaming.” You knew his words were genuine because it was just easy to tell.

“You better believe it, baby, because it’s true.”

You stopped short when you heard him call you baby. Of course Corpse had used that word before but right now it felt more intimate.

Letting out a yawn you realized it was nearing 4 am. “I appreciate it.” You mumbled, feeling the events from the day seep in.

“You’re tired, aren’t you?” His deep voice was lulling you closer to sleep.

“No.” Another yawn broke through.

“You can’t lie to me, Y/n. Get some sleep and we will talk tomorrow.”

The words made you smile. “That sounds good, Corpsie. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, sweet girl.” Despite wanting to stay on the phone, you hung up. Sleep was quickly coming in to claim you. You can happily say you fell asleep with a huge smile on your face.

**

Waking up was easier than it had been in a long time. Normally you woke up to Olivia screaming at you or someone else. So it was nice to wake up to silence. It allowed you to relax and wake up properly.

Your phone buzzed from beside you. A text from Corpse is what you first saw, so you opened it.

Corpse

Good morning, sweet girl. I hope the night treated you well.

Sweet and to the point. His messages made you think he had a thing for you. Well you hoped he did but he also could just be treating you the way he treats friends.

Y/n

Yes, I slept well and for once I wasn’t awoken by my obnoxious sister.

It would he good not to live with her.

Corpse

I bet. Hey I hate to be the one to show you this, but your sister posted this on her instagram.

He then sent a link to the post. It made your blood boil.

::::

There was a picture of her, she was holding up a ripped picture of you. A huge frown was on her face.

oliviaxoxo It’s a shame when family starts to treat you like you weren’t the one to give them money when they needed it. This is my sister and she’s a bitch. For the last few years, she’s been the one editing my videos. Well I found out she was trying to sabotage me, so I had to fire her and kick her out. What a shame it is when family stabs you in the back. 🙃🙃

1,454,787 people like this

oliviafan23 Is this true? Damn, f*ck fake people.

queenolivia Sueeee herrrrr!

lovinliv Family ain’t shit. Spill her info so we can drag her.

sykkuwu Whoa, why are you spreading lies about your own family?

   |

queenolivia Why would you defend someone like that?

valkyrea You’re such a sad human for doing this. Stop lying.

pokimanelol Let’s see, none of this is true. Your sister has done so much for you and you’ve never appreciated it. Get some help for this.

corpse_husband This is sick. No wonder your name is always blasted everywhere. Do your sister a favor and stop talking about her.

    |

oliviaxoxo I don’t know why you’re defending my stupid sister, but that totally makes you not hot to me anymore. Ugh.

   |

valkyrea Uh, that’s what you got from this. Wow, you’re not worth this.

    |

corpse_husband What can you expect? The covid must have gone to her brain.    |

corpseandlivfan Whyyyyyyy Corpse, why would you stand up for her. Do you not realize how horrible Y/n is? Please tell me this is a joke!?!?

   |

 corpse_husband Well, she’s a good friend of mine and I won’t let people make up lies. So it’s not a joke.

::::::::

You were mad that she’d even say this shit publicly, but you should have known she would. She was nothing without her group of misguided followers.

Y/n

Can’t say I’m not surprised. This is so on brand for her. Thank you for sticking up for me. It means a lot.

Corpse

I would do it any day. She shouldn’t be able to get away with doing that to you.

Sadly, growing up, she did get away with doing the absolute worst shit and you always received the brunt of it.

Y/n

With any luck, she draws negative attention.

You clicked the link to view it again but instead were lead to a page that said the content was unavailable.

Y/n

I believe she just deleted the post.

Corpse

Oh, she did. That’s awesome.

It was. Olivia was never one to swallow her pride and admit any wrongdoings. That means she would never delete a problematic post, but she finally did

Y/n

I didn’t really read any other comments besides you and your friends and the top comments. I can’t imagine what her fans are really saying.

Olivia was completely okay with letting her fans attack people. It was seriously a huge mess. She fell into the category of YouTuber with the worst most entitled attitude.

Corpse

It’s good you didn’t read them, because they were horrible. I can’t believe she would let her fans do that.

Y/n

She’s done a lot of shady stuff. This is even before she blew up on YouTube. There is a lot of issues between us.

There was a lot that could be said about your relationship with Olivia and none of them were good. Forever it seemed, you had tried to make it work and hoped your sister would grow up and change but it never happened.

Corpse

I think she’s a vile human. From what I have seen and her complete lack of human decency, I just can’t help but feel she’s just not a good person and she never will be.

He was right. She would never change.

Y/n

You’re right. Hey, I have to go thank Poki for letting me stay but I also need to go back to that apartment to get the rest of my stuff. Can I call you when I get back?

Corpse

Yes, of course. Good luck heading over there.

Talking to him was pretty natural feeling. It was clear now that you were getting a massive crush on him. You had a crush on a man who’s face you’ve never seen. You couldn’t help it though, his personality just meshed so well with yours. He’d made you feel safe and wanted.

After getting dressed, you found Poki in the kitchen making breakfast. She sent you a sweet smile when you entered the room.

“Thank you for standing up for me against my sister on Instagram.” You were truly honored this group of friends liked you enough to do something like this.

“You’re welcome. I couldn’t just let her say that and get away with it. She’s done a lot to you, that you don’t deserve. Corpse messaged all of us the minute he found it and we all jumped into action. Sean and Felix were getting ready to comment when she deleted it.” She explained as she set a plate in front of you.

“I’m so honored. Thank you!”

“Of course, you’re one of us now and we will never let her get away with this stuff anymore.”

You could just cry with how loved they were making you feel. This is what had been missing in your life. Friends who genuinely cared about you and wanted to protect you from the nasty stuff Olivia was capable of doing.

“Would you come with me to the apartment to get the rest of my stuff?” You asked once the two of you finished eating.

Poki nodded. “Of course I will. You shouldn’t have to go alone.”

**

An hour later, you exited the elevator on the floor where you once resided. Your sister wasn’t home, which would be good but there was a chance she could return while you were packing. But you would deal with that when it came down to it. The two of you quickly got to work, packing your life up into the boxes you’d brought with you. Luckily, you weren’t one to collect a ton of stuff. You mainly just had to make sure your clothes and makeup were packed up.          

You and Poki would fill boxes and pile them by there door, then you would take them down to the car when you acquired a good amount. In the end, you figured you would fill maybe 10 boxes which is actually not too many considering you’ve lived in that apartment for five years.

Poki had left to go take two more boxes to the car while you finished up packing up your last few items. The front door closed, and you assumed it was Poki, but it wasn’t.

“Oh look who’s here? My lovely sister.” Olivia’s voice was flat and emotionless.

You rolled your eyes and turned to find her standing in the doorway, glaring at you. “Hello, Olivia. I’m just packing my stuff and then I’m leaving.”

“Who said you were allowed to come back here?” She grumbled, eyeing the boxes.

“Well, this is my stuff and I have every right to come pick it up.”

“If it’s in my apartment, it clearly belongs to me.” She snarled.

You snapped. “Cut it out, Olivia. This was my apartment too, until you kicked me out last night. You can’t just claim my stuff as your because you’re salty about me having friends.” She was a spoiled brat, and you were done letting her get away with it.

“I’m not the salty one. Everyone can see it’s you.” God she was so annoying. You taped up the last box and turned to her. She held her phone in her hand. “Everyone say hi to my sister. You know, the one I posted about earlier before someone reported my post.”

“Are you live?” You asked, keeping your face expressionless. Olivia would do this.

“I bet some of you remember the few videos I did with her. Well of course that was before she turned against me and decided she was going to try and ruin me. Say hi, Y/n.” A sick smile played on her face.

“I never consented to being in your live, Olivia. Please stop.” You tried to keep your voice calm so that she wouldn’t have any way to make you look like the bad person. But regardless, she was already doing it.

Olivia cackled. “Well I think I’m free to do as I please in my apartment.” You could only imagine what her fans were saying. “You’re right, Andrea, she is an idiot, and I should have her arrested.” She spoke aloud making your blood boil.

“You’re so immature, Olivia.” You grumbled before grabbing the last couple boxes and moving towards the door. Olivia decided to swat the boxes out of your hand, and they fell tumbling to the ground. “What the hell, Olivia. I could have fragile stuff in there.” You growled at her.

Olivia was just laughing. “This is funny. What else should I do, guys?” She asked as she panned the phone around the room.

Her immaturity was giving you a headache. Poki walked in and saw Olivia.

“Oh hey guys, look who’s here. Pokimane.” She panned the camera to Poki who frowned. Olivia just laughed and started talking shit until she was cut off by the stream just ending. “What the hell.”

You gathered the last few boxes, and Poki came to help while Olivia attempted to start another live.

“What the fuck, it won’t let me go live.” She growled while stomping her foot like a child.

“That’s what happens when an influx of people report your live.” Poki spoke as you both had gathered the boxes.

Olivia was frowning. “What did you do, Y/n.” She wanted to pounce at her, but Y/n and Poki were already at the door.

“Y/n did nothing, but I got word of your little livestream and contacted some friends for help. It will be at least 24 hours before you can have another live. But with the amount of people who reported you, well you may be banned for a while.” With that, you and Poki left Olivia standing there is absolute shock.

You and Poki put the last boxes in the car. “Thank you, Poki. How did you get so many people to report it?”

“Well it was actually Corpse. He texted me and informed me that she was doing a live and bothering you. He had his fans go report it, but apparently Sykkuno and Rae also sent their fans. I was going to send mine, but they had it handled. So this was all Corpse.” She explained.

Hearing this made you feel so soft for Corpse. “Awe wow. That’s so sweet of him.”

The two of you entered the car. “Y/n, can I tell you something without you telling him I told you?”

You looked over at her. “Yes, sure.” Your heart rate kind of picked up.

“Well the other day, Corpse admitted he has feelings for you, but he wasn’t completely sure if you felt the same way for him. But I mean I can clearly see you do. Your whole face just lit up when I mentioned him. So do you?”

Heat filled your face and you suddenly felt shy. “I do, yes. Which is ridiculous because I just met the guy, and I don’t even know what he looks like. But gosh, I like him so much. When I talk to him, I feel happy. He’s been so good to me through this crap with Olivia.” You admitted, knowing she already knew.

Poki smiled and squealed in complete happiness. “You two are just the most adorable people! It’s not ridiculous. We pretty much knew from the first time you joined us, that Corpse was into you. But oh my god, you’re into him. You need to tell him!!!!”

You agreed, Corpse deserved to know. “I do. But how? It’s been a really long time since I’ve told someone I liked them. Shit, I feel like I’m in high school again!”

This made Poki giggle. “Calm down, Y/n. I have a plan. Let’s get back to the apartment and we will talk about this. Rae also wants to be involved in this.”

Back at her apartment, you had jumped onto a call with Rae and the three of you talked about what your plan was for you to tell Corpse what you felt for him. Rae and Poki decided to organize an Among Us game strictly for fun and no one would stream, they would also use Proximity chat.

“So we will get him to follow you around until one of us is imposter, then we will lock you into wherever you end up. Do it then” Rae explained sounding so excited.

“Okay, that can work. Let’s do this!” You were nervous but also excited to finally do something good for yourself.

You and Poki set up for the gane and Corpse sent you a text.

Corpse

Are you joining the game tonight?

Seeing a text from him, made you feel giddy.

Y/n

Yep I am. So I will see you in game?

Corpse

Yes you will, angel.

Cue the insane butterflies.

**

The lobby loaded and it was you, Corpse, Poki, Rae, Sykkuno, Karl, Tina, Sean, Toast, and Leslie. All streamers you had grown to like a lot in the time you have been playing with them.

“Y/n, I am so happy you’re playing with us!” Tina gushed as her little character ran around yours.

“I’m happy to be here.” You really were.

“You’re sister is a piece of work, Y/n.” Sykkuno said.

You giggled. “Don’t I know it.”

“What did she do this time?” Sean asked.

“Decided to film a live when we went to get Y/n’s stuff from the apartment.” Poki explained.

“Oh, that’s gross.” Karl commented.

“I have to thank Corpse for helping.” You stated to the group.

“Yeah Corpse was quick to text us.” Sykkuno added.

“You’re welcome, Y/n. I wasn’t going to let her get away with what she was doing. Truth is, I got a bunch of fan DMs that were telling me what Olivia was doing. So a lot of my fans were already reporting it, but the tweet helped.” Corpse’s deep voice soothed you.

“I appreciate it so much. She was just being an immature brat as always.”

The group laughed before deciding to start the game. Poki and Rae agreed to text you when either of them were imposter. Now it was a matter of getting Corpse to follow you.

The group was on the Polus map, which seemed to be a favorite for everyone.

Rae

We should lock them in weapons.

Rae had texted you and Poki through the group text.

Poki

That’s the best place for them.

Y/n

Okay but I still have to get him to follow me.

Rae

He will. Just wait, I have a plan.

You trusted Rae and Poki to help you. Now it was time to admit it all to Corpse and hope he genuinely liked you back.

Y/n

Let’s do this!

PART THREE  >>                                         

[wooahaes]

Aahh! Thanks so much for replying to me, it was super helpful! I really appreciate how in-depth it was too. I shall try reblogging something now (v excited hehe). Can I be bold and ask for any writer recs? I've seen you talk about June and Ursa alot, so I'll make sure to check them out! (You prob have it somewhere, but it's 2am and I need sleep haha) I don't mind getting assigned a random emoji (I'm far too indecisive to pick one tbh haha). I hope your tummy feels better! Thanks so much again!!

sorry to everyone im about to @ in this post sfdkhsdf BUT

(also i saw ur first reblog and sdkfhd anon ur SO cute!! i recommend finding a profile pic somewhere and changing it so ppl don't block you while assuming you're a bot!!)

ok so all of these ppl write for svt and i believe also write for other groups? i'm mainly going by svt writers who ik have posted fics before!! i'm so sorry in advance bc i know i'm leave some ppl off btw just bc i don't want this post to get super long :(

even tho you said you've seen me talk about june and ursa, i'll @ them here again so you can find their blogs

although june i don't think has written anything (yet), she tags everything she reblogs/recs over at @junhui-recs so v good source to find writers <3!! i trust a lot of june's taste tbh + she's just a lovely person to interact with in general <3

ursa @thepixelelf is also a lovely person and writer and i fully suggest checking out her social media AUs if that's your thing!! they're super inclusive (gn!reader, no ulzzangs, generally ursa's writing has no reference toward reader's appearance too tbh!!) and honestly ursa is rly funny <3 love u ursa

i also recommend livvie @husbandhannie <3 livvie has very comforting writing that feels like home + she's so good about tagging things so if you need to avoid a certain topic, you most likely will (and if u dont, she absolutely does not bite and will add a trigger warning if you let her know)

(which btw i think every single person on this list is pretty solid about tagging things and open to being corrected if they leave something out!!)

sol @leejungchans also has popped up a few times on my blog i believe! sol is super duper nice and also has super cozy writing <3

aria @joshuas also has some lovely svt fics on her blog!! + aria is a huge sweetie as well (literally everyone i rec here is super nice)

elv @dokyeomblr is also a very very lovely person (mwah) who writes for multiple groups!!! one day i will go back through her masterlist n reblog when i have the brain cell to fully write out the tags she deserves <3

i don't think i've ever interacted with @suhnshinehaos aside from reblogging her renjun smau, but i like her sense of humor a lot <3 (also v inclusive smaus!!)

uhh i also don't think i've interacted with @blossom-hwa often but she seems cool and i also like her writing (i reblogged a hoshi fic from her once that i enjoyed!! + i believe she writes for both skz and golcha and being a golcha fan automatically makes u cool in my book tbh)

i will cap my list there but there are sooo many good writers out there tbh !!! i think almost everyone here i've interacted with (but even if i haven't, maybe one dayyy after i stop being hindered by anxiety lmao) but they're all super nice to people in my experience! :)

i also have a fic rec tag where i've reblogged from writers that are and aren't listed here!!

also goodnight anon <3 btw i hope 🍧 is fine with you? i can absolutely change it if you want! i just think its a cute emoji and ur cute n also sweet like shave ice is (esp on a hot day... i am so tired of summer weather)

[strawberrywritingfiction]

Anxious

Peter Parker x Reader

a/n: I know, I’ve been superrr inconsistent on here with writing and posting. Although I’m mindlessly scrolling on here pretty frequently, I do kinda lack the motivation to really interact 💀. Anyway, my anxiety is through the roof rn, and I threw this together in 20 minutes, just bc I was in the mood to write.

warnings: this content mentions symptoms of anxiety

- just peter comforting you in the midst of some anxiousness/inability to fall asleep

^^^

Maybe it was your continuous racing thoughts. Or the constant humming of the AC. Or, your ceaseless feeling of irritability.

Whatever it was, you just couldn’t seem to fall asleep.

You were practically overcome with irrational fears. Stuck in a never-ending loop of whirling thoughts.

Why were you suddenly feeling like this? How come you can’t simply fall asleep??? What caused all this stress that seemed to unravel so suddenly??? You questioned. Not only did you ask yourself such things, but you went on to overthink every matter that has been currently inconveniencing you.

You were completely consumed in your thinking, when a rapping against the window broke your train of thought. Hurriedly sliding out of bed, you dashed over to the window, to find your boyfriend leant against the glass, and perched atop the windowsill. You unlatched the window, pulling it open. Peter made no move to come in, his eyes just met yours with a look of concern.

“Pete, what are you doing here? At- 2 am?” You sighed, lending him a hand and pulling him in your room.

Even without his spider sense, Peter could tell something was up. “I was just doing a late night patrol, and thought I’d stop by. Plus- You sounded, off, when you messaged. Didn’t even say goodnight like you usually do- so, I wanted to make sure you were, you know, ok and all,” he said softly. Peter was completely aware of how you were often succumbed to stress and anxiety.

His ‘third sense’ if you will, practically alerted him when you were stressed, afraid, sad, etc. He could discern your emotions in a moment. Even since entering your room, he could tell your heartbeat had quickened, in an abnormal way, that your hands were slightly trembling, and your that breath was a little uneven.

‘I’m ok,” you shrugged.

“There’s not much point in lying, y/n,” Peter smiled faintly.

Just then and there, you almost burst in to tears. You fell into your boyfriend’s arms, holding him tightly, and he embraced you like so in return. The tension that managed to build up in your muscles felt as though they melted away. A sigh of relief escaped your lips.

“I don’t know why, I just can’t stop overthinking, and stressing out- and I can’t sleep, even though I’m so, so tired-“ you rambled on, exasperated.

“You’re ok, love, you’re just overworked and tired, yeah?”

“Maybe,” you said, breath hitched, in attempt to avert a wave of tears from escaping within you.

“You don’t need to worry right now,” Peter reassured you, “I’ll even stay with you, until I’ve made sure you've had some proper rest, ok?”

“Ok,” you whispered, releasing yourself from his hold, and leaving his side to climb into bed.

Peter took off his suit, left bare and in a pair of boxers, as he joined you, sliding underneath the covers. He gingerly held you as you began to drift of into a worry-less sleep.

“Promise, you’ll call me and let me know whenever you’re stressed out again?”

You hummed in agreement, “Promise.”

^^^

I hope you enjoyed- Also, just know my asks are open for whatever, go on and rant if you need to ! I’m always open to chat, about anything and everything :)

[youarejesting]

Sly like a...? Part 9

[Master list] [Sly Master List] Beta: n/a (at the moment) Rating: All Pairing: Hybrid!BTS x FailedHybrid!Reader Genre: Hybrid au, fluff, action, adventure, angst, drama, slice of life. Some marked chapters will contain mature/smut scenes, BUT they will not have plot in those scenes and are 100% skippable without losing your place in the story. Words: 1.5k

Summary: Human’s strive to be better, faster and stronger looking to animal DNA. Thus Hybrids are born. As the rise for designer and Pedigree Hybrids increase, so do the failed attempts. There is one species scientists are unsuccessful in creating, but, folklore says they have been here all along, hiding and blending in with the humans for many millennia. How clever they are.

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Tonight you had decided to ask Hoseok what he wanted to eat for dinner. A quick knock on his always-open door and a peek inside showed him sitting on his bed. With his arms wrapped around his legs and his chin resting on his knees he looked young. He was staring forlornly at the wall, perhaps you thought he was feeling a little homesick. The city was much different from what he was used to. 

“Hoseok, hey?” You sat beside him the scent of fresh pine on his warm-toned skin. Waving your hand within his line of sight in an effort to gain his attention. The deer blinked, giving you a bright smile and a cheery laugh. 

“Sorry, I was lost in thought?” He straightened out his legs. You patted the soft comforter in front of you. 

“Shuffle your butt over here,” you spoke softly. He continued to face the wall and shuffled over, you pulled him to lay back against you, “Are you feeling homesick honey?”

“Yeah, I guess I miss nature. It’s just, it’s so bare” he muttered looking around his room, a desk with a laptop, a bed, and bedside tables he sniffed wiping his eyes on his sleeve. “I miss it.”

“How about we get you some plants as many as you want, to fill the room, if you really want we can tear up the carpet and lay down grass instead,” Hoseok laughed as you described a tall plant by his desk flowers on his bedside tables and hanging pots from the ceiling. “You can call them, that’s why I got you this,”

He nodded taking the phone you held out to him, he dialed a number and placed it to his ear. “Hello?” 

“Hello my sister,” he said, relaxing as he heard the familiar voice. 

“Hobi!” She called through the phone, which seemed to cause a commotion on the other end of the phone as many voices could be heard, “what is it like in the city? Are they treating you nicely? Have you been eating?”

“It’s really nice and everyone is so fun and nice and we eat lots of food together,” he cheered. The family was talking happily and you grinned scratching Hoseok's head happily laughing with him. 

“We are going to decorate his room with plants,” you assured his family that he was being treated well, “oh! tonight is your choice for dinner so what would you like?”

“Unnie, Hobi likes Japchae and meat,” his sister giggled over the phone and you leaned around Hoseok and grinned. 

“What you think Hobi-ah? Sounds good?” You used their nickname teasingly but in hopes, he would feel more at home and at ease around you. 

“Mm, Hobi wants japchae!” He said cutely, making you laugh, you gently pushed his firm and warm body until he was sitting up enough to slip out from behind him. 

“Alright, you keep talking I will round up Jin and Yoongi and we will get to work cooking,” bidding your goodbyes to Hoseok’s family, you headed out to the kitchen. Yoongi was tying up his apron and Jin was playing video games with the youngest of the group. 

You decided against asking Jin as he seemed truly engrossed in playing his video games. Sorting out ingredients and finding a recipe Yoongi and yourself shuffled around the kitchen. There were moments where you reached over where he was cutting vegetables and your shoulders would brushed and just for a second you would hear a small purr. 

Jin lost to Jungkook and pouted, scuffing his slippers as he entered the kitchen, “Ya! The game likes Jungkook better!” He whined, with a grin on your face you pulled him into a hug. Arms wrapping around his tiny waist as you buried your face in the soft sweater he was wearing, it smelt sweet like figs and his ears twitched. 

“I am just happy you tried your best,” you praised him, as you felt the vibrating chittering in his chest almost like a purr but more like a rattle. He nuzzled your hair breathing in your scent. You got him to join in with the cooking. Your instructions interrupted by Taehyung who was complaining about being hungry.

Sliding between the two hybrids to get past, you got some ingredients from the fridge. You sat at the breakfast bar mixing the ingredients in a big metal bowl. Taehyung had been your neighbor for at least five years now and you knew his favorite foods. 

“Try this and tell me how it is?” you held a ball of rice out in a plastic gloved hand and he leaned in eating it. His eyes lighting up. He gave a deep mmh-mm of approval and his tail was smacking Jungkook in the thigh, the young boy looking at the offending appendage and swatted it away.

“Me too, noona” He smiled pointing to his mouth and you popped one of the Jumeokbap onto his tongue. He chewed it happily his cheeks puffed full, a purr filling the room loudly. You turned to Jin offering him a taste, he praised it with a thumbs up.

Carrying the bowl around to Yoongi you smiled, “You want to try one Yoongi?” He didn’t reply but leaned his head towards you eyes on the food mouth opened.

He let you put one in his mouth, and you pressed your ear to Yoongi’s shoulder, his purrs were definitely the quietest out of all the felines in the house, they were ones that vibrated deeply in his chest but didn’t make too much noise unless it was really quiet and you listened intently.

“I smell tuna!” Jimin grinned bounding over his long legs barely touched the ground and he smiled, “Me love, one for me”

You were trying to roll one but he had started rubbing his face on your jaw and neck impatiently, as he purred sweetly, “I am making it as fast as I can,” the words barely came out through your giggles his soft hair tickling your neck, his ears twitching at the sound.

“Here try this one,” he leaned in wrapping his mouth around the rice ball his eyes never leaving yours. “Is it good?”

“Mm very good” he hummed standing behind you his hands wrapped around your waist as you made one for Namjoon. He held out his hand and ate it, nodding before awkwardly shuffling around waiting for the food to finish. Hoseok exited his room smiling brightly, it seemed the conversation with his family had eased his loneliness.

Namjoon at dinner was a little scary all he could see was food and his deep purrs were so loud that it almost sounded like thunder rumbling outside. You brought up the question at dinner and watched them all choke on their food. 

“It is only natural, I am just wondering when and if you know your rut schedule so I can put it on the calendar and if you need any assistance during this time we can look for a suitable companion or items that can relief your needs.”

Jungkook was bright red and Jimin thought honestly, “I don’t need assistance but if when I am not in my room we could cuddle,”

“I also do not require assitance I will just be in my room,” Namjoon said with a small reassuring smile.

“I have never had a rut,” Jungkook said his cheeks never losing their rosey colour, “They gave us a hormone blocker every six months so we would behave, we just got really annoyed”

You nodded they all seemed to agree that they would be fine on their own in their room but you thought you would look into somethings as a fail safe. After your goodnights to each of the boys giving them a sweet kiss on their foreheads, you sat on Jungkook’s bed and told him more of the stories of the fox.

“In Korean legends, the Kumiho is often described as a terrifying and sad creature that strives to become a real human. It is said that a Kumiho can turn into a real human by eating 100 human livers or by marrying a human and living with them for 100 days without their true identity being discovered. There are many more theories on how they came to be but they…”

Once everyone was tucked in, you spent the night in the lounge. Searching the web for eligible companions and items that could assist the seven young men. You hoped they were all settling in nicely. A figure appeared in the hall, ringing his tail in his hands, you gave a soft smile, surprised as the figure came closer.

It wasn’t Jimin as you had first thought, it was Jungkook, you walked him back to bed and he whispered, “I am nervous what if I do something bad during my rut?”

“I know your true nature Jungkook, I know you don’t want to hurt any of the boys or even myself and when the rut passes well then you will be back to the old Koo we know and love.”

“Can you sleep in my room tonight?” He said and seeing your apprehension he added, “Just until I fall asleep?”

“Alright just until you fall asleep.” Not knowing how exhausted you were and how the bed was so soft and enticing. You had fallen asleep almost instantly, letting Jungkook pull you into his arms and nuzzle your shoulder.

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[mybg3notebook]

Does Gale love Mystra?

So far in EA, we have been shown that this is complicated to answer: human love is complex as well as the delirious lore of Forgotten Realms. 

Disclaimer Game Version: All these analyses were written up to the game version v4.1.104.3536 (Early access). As long as new content is added, and as long as I have free time for that, I will try to keep updating this information. Written in June 2021.

The number between brackets [] represents the topic-block related to (this post), which gathers as much evidence as I could get.

The narrative is clear until the party scene which, as I stated many times across these posts, it's a scene that feels a bit inconsistent for me (reasonable since it's EA). But if we follow what the game explicitly shows us, we know that if we send Gale to sleep at the beginning of the Weave scene in which he is watching the incantation with the shape of Mystra, he will say: 

Gale: Long days, yes. And long, lonesome nights.

If Tav knows that the incantation on his palm is Mystra, Gale will explain:

Tav: [insight] You don't have that look on your face when you're looking at “no one” / There's more to it than that. The figure I saw: she means something to you. Gale: [...] I can’t quite describe it, the need I sometimes feel to see her – to draw the filaments of fantasy into existence. [...]

Dev's notes: Passionate. [...] He was recalling Mystra as a lover, but doesn’t say that out loud. [...] Narrator: The Weave evaporates, and as it does so, you realise the night feels suddenly cold and lonesome.

This allows us to infer that, at this moment, Gale is feeling alone and probably very anxious with the oppressing feeling of the "orb" in his chest. The tadpole only increased the number of problems he has, so he resorts to seeing Mystra melancholically. We notice later in the Weave Scene that not having Mystra around increases this feeling of loneliness. The whole scene seems to give us the idea that he still loves her. There is yearning and loneliness in his current situation.

After a moment of passionate description of magic, Gale invites Tav to experience the Weave. The Weave has a particular effect on Gale: "The moment feels intimate. You realise the Weave is making you one." Considering how Gale was feeling while conjuring the incantation, this moment touched him deeply (the narrator implies that this feeling is mutual).

If Tav expresses their romantic interests, Gale will be surprised:

Gale: I.. I didn’t think.. Narrator: You perceive quick-fire gusts of embarrassment, trepidation, and finally.. elation Gale: Sorry, I wasn’t expecting… But it is a pleasant image to be sure! Most pleasant, in fact. Most welcome. Dev's notes: Warm, with real affection.

The narrator is giving us meta-knowledge, we can trust in what she says, and we can see that the situation was truly shocking for Gale. These emotional stages described here made me suspect that Gale is a character who has focused for too long on healing his condition, ignoring any chance for romance. His surprise here may confirm that, in my opinion. He feels embarrassment, a feeling that one can interpret as a sign of the surprise of being thrown into a situation he had not seen beforehand (the death protocol and Gale’s conversations show us that he is a character that thinks ahead). It follows trepidation: fear or anxiety about something that he is going to do or experience. Gale is scared of the possibility. Maybe because he is thinking in the danger he is, maybe because he was already burnt by Mystra's attention and having someone else's attention now makes him feel a bit anxious. And then, the final resolution of the process: elation, which is a feeling of great happiness and excitement about something that has happened. Gale is suddenly excited by the possibility. Something he will be thinking about, many times, for the rest of the EA. 

Tav: So what did you think about what I pictured when we were connected by the Weave? Gale: Oh, I was surprised. But pleasantly so, just like I said. Amid the madness that has befallen us, it seems almost out of place to think of a kiss/ of a romantic walk. And yet... now more than ever, it's important to recall what makes us human. [if Tav is not human] Well- you know what I mean. A stolen glance- that sudden heartbeat... Sometimes the little things are worth more than kingdoms. They promise things to come.

So romance was not something he had even considered until the opportunity arose (this is why he won't pursue a Tav who didn't show romantic interest towards him). I think that, since he is a character always living on the edge of death, he will take this opportunity to feel “human again”: after all, he follows the concept of "living life to the fullest".

During the Loss (see the post of the "Loss Scene"), we know that losing Mystra was a big blow for him. He regrets his decisions of the past in this scene, and it reinforced the idea that he is the only one to blame for Mystra's loss. There is a yearning for the lost Chosen powers, but Gale's context in the majority of his scenes seem to reinforce the idea that he sought power not as a means, but as a goal itself to be closer to Mystra and Magic. Since we are talking about a wizard, his passion lies in magic itself, in being one with the Weave/Magic/Mystra. A Chosen of Mystra is so entangled with the Weave and magic that when they die, they are part of the Weave itself. This is the level of passion that Gale has for Magic, and since Magic can only be performed by most mortals via Weave, and the Weave is Mystra, the whole three concepts are, in fact, one; and it makes it very difficult from a lore point of view to separate them. 

Tav: There's something I don't understand. If Mystra abandoned you, how can you still cast magic? Gale: The Weave is still here, all around us – inside of us too. As long as the goddess lives, magic is a tangible thing for those who know how to touch. I've studied magic for many years, and in as many ways I am still a more than capable wizard. It's just that I'm no longer able to perform those feats even arch wizards would marvel at. To have one hand on the pulse of divinity. You have to remember that the Weave is a living thing, both the embodiment and the extension of Mystra herself.She can give and she can take away. I'm afraid I'm still very much on her naughty list. Consider yourself lucky you're not. 

I personally think Gale will never stop being devoted to Mystra (and won't stop loving her in many ways), because his passion for magic and knowledge is his own life, and Mystra IS those things. He loves magic for the sake of it. So losing this unique contact with magic itself that only Chosen of Mystra have was a terrible punishment for him. His abandonment issues are not just the result of a “guy being left by a girl”. They have an extra complexity because of the nature of Magic in this world and how its deity behaves with her chosen. Gale was not only abandoned by Mystra, but was also removed of a good amount of his capacity to perform magic. If magic “is his life”, the abandonment removed a part of his life away. I think some people miss this point, because, once more, it's related to Forgotten Realm lore and not Dragon Age. Many of these people keep constantly comparing this situation with Dragon Age, which has nothing to do with it. Dragon Age has no wizards, their relationship with Magic is natural, it’s sorcerer-like if we want to compare it, and the relationship with their deities (mostly absent, silent ones) are nothing alike the ones in Forgotten Realm. The context is key, as I repeated several times in these posts and in the one about "Context, persuasion, and manipulation". 

Tav: I don't know what to make of what you've told me, but I sympathise. Gale: Thank you. [no romantic weave] I want you to know that you’re a good friend. [romantic weave] I often think of that moment we shared together – one under the Weave. I hope you think about it too. /I'm glad to know you think about it too.

Narrator: You sense a moment of unspoken affection. You want to know where it may lead. Gale: I consider myself very lucky to have found you Tav: I think perhaps we could be more than friends Gale: Perhaps. 

Tav: You said you think about the moment we shared under the weave. Do you think about it often? Gale: Do you? 1-2-Tav: Yes / From time to time. Gale: So do I. 3- Tav: Not really. Gale: And yet you ask. I do, as a matter of fact.

Gale: You see. I'm not a big believer in fate, but I do believe in serendipity. Life is a tempest of events that sometimes we brace against and sometimes embrace. You're one such event that one day soon perhaps I'd like to embrace.

So after sharing this regret during the Loss scene, Gale will show affection if Tav remains friendly during the Weave (but Gale will never directly engage it, he is waiting for Tav to give the first step; understandable if we consider he also has a dangerous bomb in his chest, so he may be torn between wanting to, but knowing he should not to). If there is no interest in pursuing romance, he will show a gesture of gratitude for being a good friend during that night of regrets. 

If pursuing the romance, we can interpret that Gale, at this point, even though he is still struggling with all the emotions that Mystra inspires, wants to experience something more “human”, a romance with a mortal. We know for sure that Gale is getting interested, slowly, while thinking about it, since in each of the following scenes he will ask (or Tav will ask) about that “moment in the Weave”. He has been thinking about it for many nights, and he is “embracing” the idea. 

If Gale is treated with judgement (despite not knowing his whole story) or allowing him to keep the secret of what or who he lost, we will obtain lines likes:

Gale: Good. Goodnight. And thank you for your patient understanding. // And try not to think too poorly of me. A cat can look at a king. A wizard can look at a goddess.

Tav: Another fool pays for his arrogance. A tale as old as time. Gale: Arrogance? Ambition, rather. And ambition is a fine thing – until suddenly it no longer is. Then again, if that is how you judge me, there’s little I can do to change your mind. But know that I have this ambition still. First to save myself, and after that, the licence to dream. (Gale Disapproval)

We could interpret these lines as the only ones so far that may suggest that Gale is still wanting something from the goddess. We know due to the tadpole dreams that Gale’s desire is Mystra. On the comments of the second tadpole dream we know more details about his major desire: it is not just Mystra, but her forgiveness.

Tav: Gale, who is the apparition in your dreams? Gale: She's... It doesn't matter. I just know her to be unreal. Tav: What's impossible about what you're been shown? Gale: Forgiveness Tav: Gale, who is the apparition in your dreams? Gale: It's indeed Mystra I see. And yet it cannot be her. There was a time when I would have believed - but no longer. I told you that I lost her. Lost her favour and lost so many of the powers I took for granted. What magic I can still weave is met only with undercurrents of disappointing silence. Mystra has not changed her mind about me. That's how I know our dreams are delusions.

I think this scene shows the difference between a standard desire for power as a means, and power for the sake of power itself (since this power allows Gale to be one with the Weave). The scene is ambiguous enough to see it as Gale wanting to return to Mystra’s side as well as remaining as an ardent devotee of her (because she is magic herself). I keep repeating that these scenes show that Gale’s most important thing in his life is Magic, which is Mystra: the extension and the embodiment of magic. So his desire for her seems impossible to be extinguished completely. In previous scenes we saw that he certainly had thought through the idea of loving her more like a devotee than a lover, but certainly the weight of being his first love will remain, especially since she is deeply related to magic itself.

During the Party Scene we find some information about his feelings for Mystra. 

I personally ponder the book of Amn’s description as very important because, from a narrative point of view, it's a lot of lines/content that, if they were not important, tend to be removed from the script. If they are there, they are meant to be interpreted. For this reason those lines mean to me that Gale has finally embraced the idea of having something important with a mortal. In my post of the "Party Scene" I go into details, but here I will stick to the interpretation related to Mystra: all what Gale numerates in that book are things that he could not access to with a Goddess. Curiously, part of those descriptions are things that make humans human, so I personally think it reinforces Gale's intention in heading into this romance with the eagerness of finding some shelter (never forget the “orb” has a constant oppressing effect in him, increasing his anxiety and fears) and to experience (maybe for the first time) the love of a mortal.

So, for some assumptions made in the post of the "Party Scene", we suspect that Gale needs to share a night to feel confident enough to speak the details of his “orb” condition. Since he wants this relationship to be strong (after all, he implied commitment during the description of the book) he speaks about the true origin of the “orb” immediately after that night, starting with Mystra (which is, after all, the true origin of his folly). Depending on the version that Tav picks, we have extra information provided by Gale about his emotions for the Goddess:

Tav: What did Mystra’s attention feel like? Gale: Love. Perhaps it was not quite love, but you see, the wizard was but a very young man. It was most certainly love to him. [...] One day all too soon, the whispers stopped. The goddess spurned the mortal. [...] and the wizard was left behind heartbroken. Tav: I hate to say it, but he really could have seen this coming Gale: He was blinded by love. Good stories are rife with lovers’ follies after all.

[Short Version] Gale: Before long Mystra tired of me. What was I after all but a mortal plaything in sacred hands? You have to realise I was heartbroken. I was a young man, she was my first love. I thought it would last forever. I vowed to win her back.

[after explaining the mistake of the “orb”] Gale: It is this folly that led Mystra to abandon me completely. I can only hope you won’t abandon me as well. After all we’ve been through.. After the night we spent together. Surely we can brave even this side by side

Gale is giving a very detailed context about his love for Mystra: she was his first love, and the first love tends to have a special weight in a person's life and their memories. That doesn't mean the person has become unable to build more relationships for the rest of their life. If we add the fact that he was very young when all this happened (more details in the Post "Gale Hypotheses- Part 1") we find him under two effects: the impression of the first love and the naivety of the youth. Both elements made him believe it was a love that was going to last forever. With a Goddess, no less.

Besides, Gale expresses this, highlighting his naivety and foolishness: he is aware of how silly he was back then, and how impossible it could be for a mortal to keep the love of a goddess. He is a pragmatic and realistic character, after all. He recognizes in the end that he was just a mortal plaything for her. 

I think these pieces of information give us a very clear context of his emotional state: he is still nostalgic for Mystra because of all the reasons I enumerated above; she is also more than just a woman, she is Magic itself. But he is aware that those emotions were the consequence of a very naïve and young self that has awakened by the burden of his own mistakes. There is also a reinforcement of “forever”, which recalls the concept of commitment that Gale pursues so much in his romance: he is not there just for the sex “intimacy”, he is there for serious commitment, maybe because he doesn't want to experience another abandonment. After all, we are talking about a character with a profile that shows abandonment issues (see the post of "Gale Hypotheses- Part 1", section: "Abandonment Issues")

[If rejected] Tav: No. This is too large a betrayal. GALE: I see. I am sorry. I am sorry that it had to come to this. All that’s left to say is farewell. Dev’s notes: hurt but understanding Gale: Farewell. (Leaves) Dev’s notes: A slight hesitation, hurt but understanding. He makes a polite little bow, then we see him walk away.

[If accepted] Gale: I don’t know what I did to deserve the magic that you do. 

Despite being terribly cheesy, this last line shows that Gale was more than convinced that Tav would abandon him because he doesn’t deserve Tav. This is why he doesn't put up much fight if Tav chooses to tell him to leave. He will try to make Tav listen to his story, and once it's done, the verdict will fall and he will accept it. He learnt his lesson with Mystra. This line also shows how everything important around Gale is or has to be worded with magic, even a silly metaphor like this is related with the word “magic”: Tav's acceptance is like magic. For him, as important and good as magic itself.

As if that were not enough, after the scene there is a comment in which Gale will reinforce his gratitude for Tav's acceptance:

Tav: If you ever feel the netherese magic overtaking you, what will you do? Gale: If it should ever come to that... if I ever know I am no longer able to stop it... I will do anything I can to ensure no one but me pays for my mistakes. I will find the remotest place on the surface of Faerûn, or perhaps far below in the depths of the Underdark. I will await that death alone. [*] I promise I will not betray your trust... You kept me by your side despite the menace that I am. If worst comes to worst, I will be gone long before the curtain falls.  [*] If romanced, Gale will say here "I cherish you."

Which makes me suspect that Gale can disappear at any moment (in full game) if for some game mechanics we are unable to get magical artefacts but the deal with Raphael did not happen (if that’s even possible). But that's just me speculating. Nothing in EA seems to suggest this. What i's clear is that acceptance—that strong concept in the book he put so much emphasis on—is really important to him, so he shows gratitude for that: he promises to protect Tav (and many innocents) from his own mistake. He also says pretty soon an equivalent of “I love you”, in a more formal/meaningful way: “to cherish” is not just to love, but to care/protect as well. 

Finally, in case someone lost those hints, or maybe as a consequence of this unpolished scene, we have a direct question with a direct answer:

Tav: Gale, are you still in love with Mystra? Gale: I’ll be honest with you; I don’t know. She is my muse still, the embodiment of magic, but the embodiment of love? Only if we ever meet again will I know

Gale simply says what we have been inferring so far with all the previous information: Gale reinforces the idea that he will remain as a strong, loving devotee of Mystra, because she is magic. I personally don't even consider it possible to remove that love from him. He may not be a cleric, but he loves his deity as one. But he also learnt his lesson that loving gods has its own dire consequences for mortals. He is very aware of it during the discussion about Karsus:

Tav: Nothing good ever comes from mortals wanting to be gods. 

Gale: Loving them has its side effects as well. Now, so many centuries later, I tried to follow in the footsteps of Karsus, not to destroy Mystra, but to prove my love for her. It tried to control only a fraction of the magic that was unleashed that fateful day. I merely sought to return one tiny diamond to an imperfect crown. Gale's Folly one might call it. History. Repetition. It's the way things go.

Once more, there is no scene where Gale doesn't reinforce that what he did was a mistake, a foolish action, a Folly. 

Finally, if talking about a previous lover immediately after awakening with a new one was of poor taste, Gale acknowledges this, giving an honest apology:

Gale: Before we go on though, do first let me apologise. To share such a night with you only to tell you of a previous lover the next morning... It wasn't the most gentleman-like behaviour. But I had to finally tell you. Silence would have been far worse behaviour still. Nevertheless, I am sorry.

He accepts any rude response or lash-out from Tav without approval penalties. This is an interesting meta-knowledge that speaks about owning up to his mistakes. Unlike the Loss scene, where rude responses made Gale disapprove because Tav was judging him without knowing the whole story [16], in this scene he doesn’t. Now Tav has the whole picture, and he accepts whatever reaction Tav shows. Of course he will approve a forgiving Tav, since Gale is a character very related to forgiveness [12, 12b].

Conclusion: 

So, answering the question that gives title to this section: yes. In my opinion, Gale loves Mystra. But it’s not a white-and-black love; it has the complexity of human love mixed with this crazy lore of deities in Forgotten Realms. I believe Mystra will always be part of Gale's life, because the Weave and magic are his life, and she is both. He will always love her as a devotee, even though he now understands the mistakes of his young self and seems more aware of how naive he was when he was a “very young man”. The comments on the second tadpole dreams explicitly show that what Gale wants the most is Mystra’s forgiveness, but at the same time, he knows that he does not deserve it. And this raw realistic view of himself is what makes him understand that those dreams are illusions. During the party scene he is uncertain about his emotions, but still he emphasises that there is a big chance for him to not see Mystra as the embodiment of love any more but reinforces that she will always be the embodiment of magic to him (a very important concept in his character design). 

Whether Gale is romanced or not, I don't see a difference in the information he shares on this matter in EA.

This post was written in June 2021. → For more Gale: Analysis Series Index

[fukurodaze]

some days

pairing: post-timeskip! oikawa tooru x fem!reader genre: angst wc: 2.4k warnings: cursing, stress, anxiety, homesickness, insecurity requested by @dasighosamu​ <3: “oikawa video chatting regularly with his girlfriend that somehow convinced him they’re okay [...]”

a/n: i.. am.. so so so sorry this took so long... many of the negative feelings here are taken from my own personal experiences as well, so i’m very sorry if this seems a bit impersonal for some people, but i tried to make it feel as y/n-able as possible! enjoy!

special thanks to nat @natszoo​ for beta reading! love u :(

LISTEN TO: blue - taeyeon; through the night - iu

you feel it in your bones. you feel it rumble and twist and turn. some days you feel it more. some days you feel it less. you know what it is today. 

it’s so empty, you think, movements like a crack of sound in silence. you had woken up in the afternoon today, the room still dark yet covers already warm. oh, you feel disgusting.

the least you do is open the curtains, hoping to squeeze in some sunlight for the day you had almost missed. you remember, though, to wake up for today, because it’s saturday. you look forward to saturdays, actually, because it has in store one constant that you hold onto - facetiming your boyfriend, oikawa tooru, at 7pm.

it used to be everyday that you facetimed him, until careers advanced and work took up more and more space in lives. still, you would always watch his matches when they were televised (it was a hassle sometimes, though, to get through to argentinian television channels, but it was worth it) and he would text you good morning and goodnight in your timezone most days (it slips his mind sometimes, but you could never blame him; you like the texts anyways). and it’s okay, really, it’s okay that you don’t get to see him that often. it’s just that work gets a bit harsh sometimes and you live alone and most of your friends live quite a bit far from you and you feel like you’ve cried to them about tooru way too many times and-

okay, you are not okay. but you hold on. you try to hold on.

you get yourself an instant meal in the fridge, feeling well into the shitty weekend when you see the stack of dirty dishes in the sink. you wash them anyways, thinking that it might be a way for you to feel a little bit better. you don’t want to be irritable when you’re with tooru, because then he’ll just worry. he already worries enough about himself - the least you could do is smile. right?

it’s what you tell yourself as you slap on some skincare, hoping that the various products containing tea tree essence and papaya are enough to mask the layer of sleepless nights and early mornings on your face. it’s not like you’re afraid of him seeing you in your dejected state; it’s more like you wouldn’t want the only time you spend with him this week be a negative memory.

now, you settle on the carpeted floor of the living room, laptop placed on the coffee table between the couch and the tv you never really use anymore. you remember when tooru had bought you this apartment right before an off-season with promises of him visiting in the summer. he even insisted on that nice tv screen for netflix nights. 

but alone, you prefer a laptop; so you’re thinking of selling it, yet you don’t want to pass up on the chance that tooru might come back one summer.

eventually, the facetime on your laptop sounds its ringtone, and a smile grows on your face as quickly as you pick up the video call. 

"wait- can- can you hear me well?”

you purse your lips, your tired eyes seemingly so much more eager to stay open. you say, “yeah, i can hear you well. can you?”

he hums, and there’s a loving silence that ensues. you don’t really know what to do with your insides feeling all warm again, so you fold your legs to your chest and let out a light laugh. it’s him.

“wow,” you mumble through chuckles, “hi, tooru.”

“i missed you, pretty girl,” he coos. you see how tooru has his back against his headboard, one arm folded behind his head and the other holding his phone up. it’s seven in the morning there, you reckon, and he looks like he’d just showered. 

“i missed you too. just showered?”

your boyfriend nods, “woke up later than usual today, but it’s, like, hot outside even at six in the morning. or maybe i just sweat too much.”

you giggle, “here, it’s so cold already. i can’t even go anywhere without a sweater - i even sleep with socks these days.”

“are you sure your heater’s doing fine?”

“my heater’s almost on its highest setting. i’ve just been getting so cold lately? maybe i just hate winter...” you trail off as you hear your own stomach grumble. still hungry...? you mutter to yourself, standing up to get a little snack for yourself, “tooru, i’m getting a snack. just keep talking, though, i can hear you.”

tooru’s smile falters a bit when he hears of you getting cold. he knows you’ve never really minded winter, using the season as an opportunity to stack up on cozy clothing and coats. hell, he had heard you say once, during one autumn, that you were so excited for winter because “you could finally wear the hoodies and sweaters since you felt too warm for them even during autumn and spring.” back then, tooru had told you that you were just too warm of a person. 

but maybe he’s just thinking too much into it. he hasn’t been to japan in a long time, anyways. maybe it really is that cold.

you come back with some toast and a glass of water. a crisp, warm bite into the food makes you feel relieved. you tuck your hair behind your ears, putting your focus back on tooru. “so, how’s everything?”

“everything... is... a lot.” tooru makes his way off of the bed, telling you, “seeing you eat just makes me hungry, too. lemme get some food.” he brings his phone with him to the kitchen, propping it against a vase on his dining table, giving you a perfect view of the kitchen. 

“welcome to my cooking show!” he exclaims as he lets go of the phone. it falls immediately, of course, but he takes care in propping it against some more items. it works somehow.

“i just recently perfected my egg poaching technique,” tooru smirks as he takes two eggs from the fridge, “it’s kind of flawless, not gonna lie.”

“can i see?” 

he sets the eggs down on the countertop, making his way to his phone before pausing, “erm, due to camera placement issues and a shortage of hands, i am unable to give you a full view of my absolute skill. is that okay, baby?”

you nod, your lip protruding slightly in a quiet pout. tooru’s pointed it out before, but it seems like every time he calls you baby your body automatically responds with a little pout. he looks at you with calm eyes, “cute.”

as he makes his eggs, you let him go on about the people around his neighbourhood, the results of the ca san juan tryouts from last week, his new team members, and one restaurant he’s found around town. he tells you, “their food is just so good. i’ll take you there someday.”

your cheeks raise slightly at his last statement, “really? tell me more about it.”

“well, it’s a bit expensive, but so worth it. they sell japanese stuff, actually, and i seriously kid you not, it tastes exactly like food from home.”

home, huh? 

“maybe when i visit one day i can bring you some food from home, too.”

somehow, the mention of home stings a little bit tonight.

 it’s an off-day, off-night, off-week, you’ve told yourself, and now that the week is ending with a call from your boyfriend, you were positive that it was going to end on a high. here, you stand corrected, with your throat getting all tied up threatening hot tears from the corners of your eyes. you’ve made it this far in the week, why must you cry in front of tooru, of all people? 

you take a long gulp from your glass of water in an attempt to blink back your tears. you’re glad that tooru’s back is facing the camera as he takes out a plate to put his eggs on. 

you quiet down intensely, afraid that any word out of your mouth will come out as a choked sob. of course, tooru notices, whipping his head around with a faltering smile.

“y/n, are you alright-”

“um, tooru, i think my laptop’s running out of battery, so i’ll reconnect the call from my phone instead, yeah?”

tooru nods, and you hastily stand up, clicking blindly at what you thought was the red hang-up button. your legs carry you to the kitchen, a place where tooru can still hear you even after the both of you thought you had hung up, to get another glass of water. 

but your arms don’t go so far as to reach for the tap, and instead, they only hold onto the edge of the countertop, trembling lightly against the cold marble. 

“shit,” you curse, head hanging as tears flow down your cheeks in warm waterfalls with your breath unsteady, your neck heating up. you see how some teardrops make little puddles on the shiny countertop, and some are swept away when your hand flies over to rid them, swiping in quick motions, angry that your body betrayed you by crying.

“stop crying, goddamnit.” you mutter, “it’s going to be so obvious, and tooru’s just going to worry, and he’ll just find it a hassle to stay with you, and-” you can’t even continue your spoken train of thought when you choke on your own words, your legs not even enough to support you up.��

“what a shitty week...” you slide down to the floor, trying to steady your breath. you tell yourself to hurry up with this damned cry, as you told him you were going to call him again on your phone. maybe you could say it was the wifi. 

you look up, wondering why, why do i feel like this?

is it because you just miss him? is work just getting hectic? should you be going out more? but it’s cold... nothing’s been working out lately. it’s just become doubts on top of doubts and you don’t know where to stop.

on the other hand, tooru’s freezing up. he can still hear your sniffles from afar, and as he stares at the warm plate of poached eggs on toast, he wonders if it would be okay to call out to you. 

it’s not like this is the first time he’s ever seen you cry, because you two have seen each other in more ways than one. still, tooru feels his heart crumble at the fact that he had had absolutely no clue as to what you had been feeling all this time, whether it be just a week, a few days, or a few hours. he wants to call out to you, hug you tight, wipe your tears, do something to make you feel better. 

but tooru doesn’t really know how to make his way through this, seeing as the distance is too far for any physical comfort. he’s learned he’s not as good with comforting words as he is with flirting, but now that he doesn’t flirt with anyone other than you, he doesn’t know if he even is good with words at all. he thinks, if you were to be okay with him reaching out to you, why were you choking back your tears? why were you so quick to hide what you felt? why do you not want him to worry about you the same way you worry about him?

tooru likes to think things through, especially when he’s never felt so unprepared with you before, as he’d been used to resorting to physical comfort in the past. but in this moment, through all the doubts and negative thoughts, his mouth moves faster than his brain.

“y/n, i’m still here.”

in this moment, your breath hitches and you make the dreaded way back to your laptop, your eyes swollen and cheeks glossy. 

“y-you heard everything?” 

your boyfriend nods, “do... do you want to talk about it?”

you shrug, swallowing slowly. “i don’t know how to talk about it, really,” a shallow laugh falls from your lips, “some days- this week- it’s just not... it’s been low, for me.”

tooru’s chin leans patiently against his forearms, eyes focused on you. 

“oh god. i haven’t cried in months,” you exhale, “and it just happened to be in front of you. i probably look ugly, or something.”

your boyfriend shakes his head, “you and ugly are words that simply do not go together.”

“you can keep crying, if you want. i’ll be here for you.” he affirms, “we take care of each other at our lows, remember? no matter the distance.”

you sniffle a bit more, your sweater sleeve damp from your tears. his words are new, but it makes you feel much less alone. 

the call fades into you attempting to steady your breathing once more, and tooru reassuring you left and right. maybe it does feel nice, you begin to think, to have someone there with you. to know that they’ll care for you as much as you’ll care for them.

in the midst of your thoughts, tooru calls out, “y/n?”

you hum in response, and he continues, “i wasn’t supposed to tell you this, since it’s not final, but there’s a possibility that i’ve been selected to play for the argentinian national team in the olympics next year. in tokyo.”

you do a double take at him. “wait, you... in japan...?”

he loves seeing you smile like that. “i was called in a meeting yesterday. they were pretty positive about me being a starting setter, but, again, it’s not final.”

your shoulders drop a bit, “but there’s always a chance, right?”

“well, ‘not final’ is just their way of saying ‘don’t tell anyone yet’. and how could i not tell you?”

you giggle a little, “maybe if you come over i might have some use for this big ass tv you bought for me.”

tooru laughs, “i’m coming home, y/n.”

here comes your second wave of tears.

[fearixfox]

Valentine’s Day Mess

So this is a fic I’ve had sitting in my docs for a while. @bazzpop​ told me to post it so here we are. MC loves Diavolo because I’m a simp but all the boys get some time

Word count: 7.2K

"It's a secret," you laugh as Mammon trails behind you boring holes into your skull. "Is it at least someone I know?! It totally has to be." "Maybe, maybe not," you smile up at him, giving him a pat on the head. He blushes and turns his head away. "Besides, why do you take such an interest in a lowly human like myself?" His blush deepened. "Yeah yer right I shouldn't care about some human. It's not even my problem. See ya later." He storms off with his ears steaming.  Cute.

It was early February and the brothers were stirring up a "friendly" competition as to who would get chocolates from you. As much as you adored each of them, you had your eyes set on a very different prize this month.  You shuttered at the thought.

 It's not your fault for falling for Diavolo. It's his fault for being so darn cute and hot at the same time. For being so kind and happy. For making your life here just a bit easier.  You opened a window in your room and stared at the castle in the distance. If only he wasn't the prince. If only you could see him more and get to know the real him. If only. 

You sigh and continue folding your laundry on your bed slowly revealing a sleeping Belphie under the pile of clothes. "What in Devildom are you doing under my clothes?" 

"Ah, y/n." He mumbles slightly waking up from his nap. "It was warm and you were distracted by Mammon so-" He slowly nods off again.  Whatever, at least he's happy. You proceed to finish most of your laundry until Belphie pulls you into bed. 

"Mmm warm y/n." You blushed a little letting out a small sigh. "Am I gonna get chocolates from you y/n? I would be the happiest demon in the devildom if I did. Plus it would make Lucifer a bit upset." He chuckled as he pulled you closer. 

"Who knows at this point Bel," you shift to stroke his hair to which he moved away. "I'm just gonna have to see what I come up with." You look back and he's asleep again. You slowly get out of his grasp and decide to take a walk outside. 

You find a bench facing the castle and put your head in your hands. As if you could give chocolates to Diavolo. The brothers would go bonkers for all different reasons. It's taboo at this point. "My, my, my, what have we here. A distressed y/n. What a rare sight." You look up to Simeon giving you a gentle smile. "What's wrong, sweetheart? Demon troubles?" 

He's an angel. Oh duh yeah he is. You shook your head. "I mean maybe. I have a dilemma but you can't tell a soul if not I'm afraid I won't have one by the end of the night." You felt your face getting red and a bit of a sweat coming on. Simeon sat next to you and gave you his full attention. God this sucks. 

"I kinda may or may not have fallen for Diavolo fully aware that he's farther from me than my own human world," You blurt out in one breath. Simeon laughs and you turn even redder than before. 

"Of course you do. It's pretty obvious." Your eyes widen at the celestial being. "Wait you knew?!" "In fact I did. I could see it radiating off of you. Just utter infatuation and admiration. However, I don't think any of the other brothers have noticed, save Lucifer." Oh no. Anyone but Lucifer. 

"Don't worry, y/n. I took care of that myself. He has no clue." "How?" "I convinced Lucifer of your courteous character and realized that you are just a respectful person in general. He seemed to agree." You felt honored by that. Both Simeon and Lucifer held you in a high regard. It made you feel appreciated.

 "Thank you Simeon. Although I think it's best for me to give up on him. It's doing more pain than good." "Maybe so," Simeon coos, "but you never know unless you try." 

"Do you think I should?" You say absentmindedly. "I think you should do what you think is best. You'll find that out eventually won't you." You nod your head even more conflicted than before. 

"There you are, Simeon!" You jump at Luke almost falling off the bench. Simeon steadies you with a grin. "It's your turn to cook today Simeon and we have dinner soon. Ah, hi y/n'' Luke smiles. 

"I'll be right there Luke. You go on ahead." He nodded and skipped down the pavement. "Well I must get going then. I hope you find the answers you're looking for." Simeon boops your nose and walks away as gracefully as he came. 

It was your turn to make dinner and you saunter into the kitchen and stick your head in the freezer. You were even more confused now. Chocolates are a pain to make. Will you even have time to make them? Should you make them all chocolates that way they'll shut up? That seems like a good idea. 

"What are you doing?" a familiar voice asks.  "Cooling off." you mutter.  "I see that. Is dinner going to be ready soon? I'm hungry." Ahh yes. That's what you were doing. "Yeah, just give me a minute."

 Beel moves past you and sits down at the counter in the kitchen. "I'll just wait here." You laugh. Classic Beelzebub. You gather your ingredients and start chopping. "Is curry for dinner okay?" Beel nodded, already starting to drool at some chopped potatoes. At least they tasted like potatoes anyway. 

You knew that Beel wasn't very into the chocolate competition but you were curious as to his thoughts about it. "Beel, would you want chocolates-"

 "Yes" 

"from me?" You finished in a small voice. You snickered as he looked unbothered, his eyes trailing every potato you chop.

 "I like chocolate, y/n but I think it would taste better from you." His stomach growls as you start up the frying pans.

 "You think so?" You smile at him. "I'm glad. I'll make sure to make a big batch." You continue chopping and every so often sliding various pieces to Beel. He smiles with glee every single time.

 You somehow give yourself a cut. You wince and put it to your mouth. Beel perks up and is at your side in an instant. He takes your hand and immediately kisses it, stopping the blood. "BEEL!" You squeak, slightly mortified, slightly embarrassed and full on fuzzy. "I used to do this for Lilith from time to time. She said it made her feel better." He kisses it once more and dragged you over to bandage it.

 "Thank you," you whisper. Beel gave a soft smile in your direction. Diavolo who? Beel chuckles at your expression. You shook your head and kept on making dinner.  

Dinner was loud. Lucifer had business at the castle and Mammon was making a scene as always. He and Levi were fighting over something. You tune them out and focus on your curry. You loved all the brothers. You let them hang all over you to be honest. You wonder if that's okay or if you're giving off the wrong message. Mammon taps your shoulder "Right y/n?" You nod just to keep him at bay and he leaves to prove his point. You have your fill of curry and give the rest to Beel. 

You lay sprawled out of bed watching your fan go around and around. Look, my train of thought. Great decision making y/n. Absolutely spectacular. Grade A. A knock at the door brings you out of it.  You open it to see Mams in his pj's giving you a puppy eyed look.

 "Come in," you sigh. He smiles and lays on your bed ready to snuggle with you. "Hey, are you good? Ya seemed off at dinner." "Yeah I'm fine. Just a little tired from school and cooking tonight. Beel has a splendid appetite." You hum. 

"Pfft are ya kidding. Beel would eat everything and the kitchen sink. We’d be 1000x richer if it wasn't for him." You weren't gonna even retort. You get into bed next to him and nuzzle his chest. He jumped "Oi, oi y/n this isn't like you bein all compliant and all." He started stuttering and you could feel him heat up. You giggle. "Sorry. Just wanted to see what you would do."

 "Tsk, don't tease a demon like that. Ya don't know what they're gonna do." 

"You wouldn't hurt me, let alone make a move on me." You tease. In an instant, he pinned you to the bed. "Ya know I've been real nice to you human but don't get thinkin that I won't do anything." You smile and press your head against his face. "It's not because you're a demon that you won't. It's because you're you, Mammon." 

You nuzzled into him once more. He broke down and moved away from you in a pout. You spooned him a bit and rubbed his head. "You're a sweet guy, Mams.  Don't forget that." He turned to you and stared into your eyes. "Yeah tell that to the rest of my brothers," he huffed. "Don't worry about them. You're kind and goofy and it's the best." He blushes again and closes his eyes. "Goodnight y/n." "Goodnight Mammon." 

You trudge through the day absolutely exhausted from your coursework and desperately needed a break. You hear a ping from your phone. 

Bubblegum bitch:Y/n~♡

Me:Asmo~

Bubblegum bitch:I'm going shopping for a new outfit for Valentine's day and you absolutely have to come with me~ 

Me:Okay I'll come. 

Bubblegum bitch:Yay~We can get some chocolate supplies on the way for the chocolates that you'll give me. 

Me: Haha okay. I'll be right there. 

You throw on some casual clothes and head to the entrance of the house. "Y/n~, are you ready for a shopping spree?" Asmodeus hums with Goldie in hand. Your jaw drops. 

"How in the world?" 

"I have my ways besides I do this all the time," Asmo giggles. "I would say Mammon would kill you but-" 

"I'd like to see him try," Asmo says sticking his tongue out. "Anyway let's head to the mall and find outfits for the two most beautiful beings in the world." 

You try to hide your bashful expression but holds your chin to face him. "I wonder what kid of expressions you give to the one you love most,’ He teases. His eyes were anything but joking. "Ahum," you break away, "let's get going." 

You guys arrive at the mall only to find Solomon there waiting for Asmo's arrival. "You brought a friend I see. " He gives you a knowing look. 

"As if y/n was just my friend, they’re my valentine~" Asmo give you a tight hug snuggling your cheeks. "Right," he says disinterested in Asmo's antics, "well either way we'll eventually need to visit the bookstore. I need the new volume for my next spell." 

Asmo took your hand and dragged you along to store after store trying on all sorts of dresses and cute outfits. Asmo showers you with almost as many compliments as himself. You see a red long sleeve sweater with white bottoms. As if I have the confidence to wear that. By the time you finished the thought it was too late. 

"Y/n-chan~♡ that would look absolutely drop dead gorgeous on you! Try it on right away." Before you could respond he takes the outfit and shoves you into a dressing stall. I guess I have no choice. You come out all hesitant and shy. 

"Not bad y/n," Solomon says with a smirk. You turn to Asmodeus. He fell silent with red dusting his cheeks. He takes your hand and kisses it in a bow. You pull your hand away quickly a bit surprised by his actions. "I was right. Your beauty rivals mine." He smiles and gives you a twirl.

 "Let's show off that beauty to everyone, okay?" He gives you a kind smile. You look away embarrassed by his words. "Thank you Asmo." 

"Anyway, we need to get to the book store now. I think I've indulged you enough," Solomon deadpans clearly irritated by our exchange. 

You stop by the chocolate store on the way and get a variety of chocolates to work with. I wonder what I should make. Who even knows at this point. Each brother is picky in their own way. Except for Beel. You decide to get a special chocolate that induces relaxation for Diavolo. You wonder if you'll end up using it.

You rejoin Asmo and Solomon in the bookstore. "Y/n, y/n," Asmo coos, "this place is dusty. I'm going to wait outside." You nod and peruse around the bookstore. You find a picture book about Ruri-chan. He'll freak if I get him this. You laugh and decide to get it for him. You head to the human section and find an amazing array of the warrior books. No way. I loved these as a kid. You look at all the cat covers and they remind you of a certain someone. Well, he won't know they're for kids right?  You place another one into your cart. 

You check out and walk to get bubble tea with Asmo. “Ano ne y/n, you seem to be bubbling with a lust for someone~ I wonder who is making you that crazy.” Your jaw drops at his accusation and you stumble to reply. 

“P-pft. Naw. I’m pretty good right now I got a g-good head on my shoulders and just focusing on surviving. I don’t have time for such things.” 0w0 Asmo gives you this look. You’ve been had. “Leave it alone Assmo.” 

“Y/n meanie. I’m totally right and you choose to give me such an ugly nickname. I kinda like it though.” He whistles and teases you to the point where you were about to break.

 “What’s the hold up,” Solomon says coming back from the store. You immediately hide behind him. “Solomon, Asmo is trying to feel me up~” You make it sound as cute as possible in hopes to keep Asmo at bay.

 “Asmo, leave them be. They’re just trying to exist,” he scolds not seeming to care about your cute manner. Tough crowd I guess. At least Asmo stopped. Solomon you’re an angel.

You end up back in your room all tired out. Lusting huh. You’ve been thinking about Diavolo more. You couldn't help but think about him but lusting over him. Never... unless. You let your head go into the gutter. Mmmm Diavolo tiddies. Strong arms and broad chest. 6’4 here we come. You went through different scenarios in your head. You wondered how his weight would feel against yours. How his voice would sound in your ear. How this man could manhandle you in any way he wanted with a heavenly smile on his face. Goosebumps formed at the thought. 

You heard a knock at the door and your soul nearly jumped out of your body. Ugh out of all times. You open the door. “Mammon not tonight I’m-” you look up to see a confused Satan. “Ah, sorry is this a bad time?”

 “No, no it’s fine Satan.” You let him come in and sit on your bed. “Hey y/n, are you alright?” He gave you a concerned look. “You’re red. Do you have a fever?” He puts his lips on your forehead. “No, no fever.”

 You immediately heat up even more. “Uh Satan. I’m fine, just a little flustered is all.” He gives you a smirk, “alright y/n, whatever you say.” He decided not to press further. “So, you wanted to see me?” You muster.  

“Oh yeah, I was wondering if you finished that book that I lent you. Leviathan is asking for it.” Your eyes widened. “Oh yeah, this one.” You went up to go grab it and was reminded of your own gift for Satan. You grabbed both and placed them in front of him. “What’s this?” He gestured to the Warriors book. 

“Something from the bookstore. I used to read this series when I was younger. I thought you might read it when you’re bored or whatever.” It finally occurred to you that maybe your childhood cat novels weren’t the best read for him.

 “Actually,” you squeaked, “maybe this is too childish for you.” You start pulling the book back towards you. Satan stops your hand and pulls on it lightly. “It’s fine y/n. I’ll read it.” You pull a bit harder. “No, I really think it’s far below your reading level, it's fine” He pulls it back somewhat irritated. “You bought the book for me. Why can’t I have it?”

 You both tug back and forth on the book until he falls on top of you. Your noses touch. Satan laughs a little. “Why are you so stubborn? You decided to get a gift for me and decide to take it back. Right in front of me.” 

You flush pink. You couldn’t tell if you were embarrassed about the book or Satan’s weight on top of you. You couldn’t tell anymore. “Listen, I just had second thoughts. It’s embarrassing that I read it. I had a phase and I forgot about it.” You look away in a pout. Satan, please get off of me soon. Only so much torment I can take.

 As if he heard your thoughts, he sits back and pulls you up to sit next to him. “You know, I would like to get to know young y/n no matter how cringy they may be,” he razzes. “No, you wouldn’t but I guess I have no choice. I did this,” you sigh. “Yes,” he giggles, hugging you, “you did. This is better than any chocolate I could have received. Thank you y/n.” 

You finally hit the hay and think about your interactions with the brothers. If I didn’t know any better I would think that I’m dating all of them. You ponder their familiarity towards you. Is this really okay? It’s not like you were dating anyone. The one guy you want to date just happens to be the Prince of Hell. You think about all the cute and delectable brothers around you. It would’ve been easier to date one of them but noo of course not, Prince of hell it is. You decide to let it go. It really doesn’t matter. He’ll probably be too busy for Valentine’s day anyway. 

TS~

“Levi, stop being shut in for one second of your otaku life.” You slam your head against the door a few times. “Go away y/n. I’m getting to the good part.” You continue to slam your head against the door. Why am I kind to this weeb again? You continue your head slams, almost falling forward when he opens the door. 

You bust through his doorway and take a load off on the couch. “I didn’t say you could come in.” Levi says in an exasperated voice. “Yeah, but you wouldn’t have let me in otherwise. Here you go.” 

You throw the Ruri-chan picture book toward him and he just barely catches it. Unathletic weeb scum. You were a weeb yourself but that wasn’t the point. His eyes light up almost immediately.

 “WOOAAHHH! Ruri-chan’s rare limited edition illustration book! How’d you get this? It’s sold out online everywhere.” Of course he would never think of going to a bookstore. “Just happened to pick it up,” you smile, “I thought you’d like it.” 

Next thing you knew he was hugging you, giggling to himself. 3-2-1 “Ah!” He jumps away from you and completely changes his demeanor. “I mean of course you would get this gross otaku stuff for me, you normie.” His face was completely red and his eyes closed.

 “Levi, that didn’t even make sense.” You can’t help but snicker at him. You take his face in your hand. “Muah.” You planted a kiss on his nose. “W-wha-whaaaat are you doing y/n?!” God this is so easy it hurts. 

“Anyway, what’s the anime you wanted to show me?” He snapped out of his blushing state but stayed wary of you. “It’s Akagami no Shirayuki-hime,” he huffed. “I thought we could watch it together.” 

“A romance anime, huh. I didn’t think you were into those. I’ve never seen it so sure.” The story was about a prince who falls in love with this regular girl at first sight and begs her to become his. You keep watching and can’t help feeling called out. By the time you finish watching, you are mortified and depressed. You lay your head face first on Levi’s lap. 

“Y-y/n?” He squeaks. If only that would happen. This sadly isn’t that type of reality. I don’t think I would be able to be at his side. Not in a million years. “Sorry Levi, just give me a few.” He feels small wet spots soak into his joggers. “Y/n?” He lifts his hand up to pet your head and decides against it.

 You get up and wipe your tears. “Sorry the anime was really moving. It’s been a while and romance anime always gets to me,” you say with a crooked smile. “I’ve gotta go get ready for Valentine’s day. If you’re good enough, I’ll make you some chocolate with extra love~,” you whisper. 

If he was drinking something he would have choked. He was completely flabbergasted and opened his mouth to say something only to close it again. “Anyway, I gotta go. Love you, Leviachan,” you say escaping his room. 

You arrive at your room, pull the shades down, and snuggle a pillow under your blanket. That anime made you realize how stupid your hope really was. You are only here for one year. You have no means of getting close to Diavolo. You don’t even know if he is in love with Lucifer. No, y/n that’s just your fantasy...is it though?  Ultimately, you are human. Exchange student status aside, you don’t matter to any of these demons. They just use you for their own relief and to solve all their measly problems. That’s a fact. If you disappeared tomorrow, they would get over you pretty quick. You give into your destructive train of thought and cry yourself nearly to sleep. 

A series of knocks hit the door. “Y/n, Lucifer wants to see you,” one of the brothers said. “I’ll be over in a minute.” You yelled back. The brother walked away.  You lazily get up and put on Beel’s oversized hoodie to cover your face. You make sure to avoid people in the halls until you make it to Lucifer’s. You knock. “Come in.”

 “Yes, Lucifer?” You muster an indifferent sounding voice. “Y/n. I was looking at your progress reports and I wanted to congratulate you on your high achievements towards your studies. Diavolo is ecstatic.” You shrink at his words. Lucifer walks over and lifts your chin up, unveiling you from your hoodie. You move your head away. “I’m fine, Lucifer. I was just napping,” you say softly. 

“Well you don’t seem fine to me, y/n. Leviathan said you were off today but I didn’t think to the point of crying,” Lucifer sighs. Ugh, this is the worst. Levi you snitch.  You could have shown your soft side to any of the other brothers and you would have been fine. You could put up a front and handle your feelings alone afterwards.

Sadly, the demon before you seemed to have other plans. “Well y/n, it seems like you have no choice but to listen to some music with me.” He gestures to the two chairs by the fireplace. You gave him a pleading look. 

“Nope, this is an order, you can’t escape from it.” You sigh and flop in the chair. “You know, therapy isn’t as effective if it’s forced,” you mutter. He summons some tea and hands you a cup. Show off. “Well,” he says sitting down “good thing this isn’t therapy.” You sip your tea quietly and listen to the music in the background. “Don’t you have better things to do?” 

“In fact I do,” he hums, “however, I think this is a good use of my time.” “Well if you have better things to do then go do them,” you scorn, “no need to pretend you give a damn about me. It’s all about looks with you anyway.” What am I saying. “You guys don’t give a single damn about how I feel or where I’m at. I’m just an exchange student, a simple human that can never think to get the attention of the most beloved prince.” 

 Your eyes widen at your sudden outburst. You aren’t like this. Even at your worst you can hold back your anger and sadness. That ability amplifies in front of important people so why are you yelling at Lucifer one of the most powerful demons of all time. “What did you do to me?” You ask, your voice shaking. “It’s a simple spell really. It removes your super ego and allows raw feelings to flow.” He takes another sip of his tea, studying you carefully. 

“This is all just a game to you. All of you. You and Diavolo may have picked me for a reason but I doubt it was for you to toy with me like this.” Tears started to flow and you took a fetal position, crying unstoppably into your knees. “Y/n this y/n that. I’m not a fucking therapist. I’m a human with a fragile heart, yet you guys,” you sob “you all take so much out of me.” “As for Lord Diavolo, I know I wouldn't be able to capture his attention and that’s only if you aren’t dating him.” Oh. Oh no.  

Lucifer sets down his tea, giving you his full attention, quite surprised at your accusation. He seems to want to scold you, but allows you to continue. “I can’t even think about what makes me happy. Not that I even deserve it but one can dream even if their hopes are crushed by the weight of the world.”

 The demon sighs giving you a concerned yet perplexed look. He rises from his chair and picks you up. You attempt to struggle but the glint of his red eyes tells you not to move. He puts you in his lap and cradles your head to his chest. 

“You don’t have to do this. I’ll tell Lord Diavolo that you manage me perfectly and that I’m nothing but happy,” you sniffle. “Sometimes y/n, I have my own agenda and that is making sure you’re genuinely okay,” he sighs once more. You can hear his heart beat slow and he kisses your head. “Lucifer?” Your eyes widen in surprise. 

Lucifer has never attempted to touch you until now, let alone show any type of affection towards you. “Please forgive my brothers, y/n. They have no idea what they put you through. I would know. I’ve been doing it for years.” He smiles a bit. “However, you are wrong about us not caring about you. In fact, it could not be further from the truth.” You look up at him with teary eyes. He wipes them away with his thumb. 

“Since you have arrived, the House of Lamentation has grown much brighter...the brightest I’ve ever seen and you’re right. Diavolo chose you for a reason that did not include all the drama my brothers created, however they all made pacts with you one way or another. They respect you and do genuinely care. The shut-in decided to pay me a visit to illuminate your awkward state.” 

Lucifer smiles and strokes your hair. “He would never do that for his brothers nor anyone else. Keep that in mind.” He may be right. I’m probably just too tired. Overthinking and tormenting myself.  Lucifer’s warmth soothes you and you nuzzle his chest. He rolls his eyes with a slight pink in his cheeks.

 “As for the beloved prince.” Aww shit. “I’d advise you to let that go. The prince is too busy for such actions and we cannot allow his reputation to be harmed.” Lucifer gives you a stern look. You already knew that was going to be his answer. “Yes, sir.” “As for the other accusation, there is nothing between him and I. I treasure him dearly; however, ultimately his career is of utmost importance.” You stare at the fire and muster some courage.

 Well if I’m giving up on Diavolo I’m totally going to savor this. You give Lucifer a loving look and kiss him. “Thank you, Luci.” You surprise him with both a kiss and a nickname. He usually would string you up but he decides to let it slide. Just this once. You hear his slow heart beat and allow it to lull you to sleep in his arms. “You’re welcome y/n.”

You wake up to the patter of rain on your window. It takes a few seconds for your eyes to adjust. When did I head to my room? You jump up and quickly give yourself a look over. Looks like he didn’t take advantage of me. You flop back in bed and try to go back to sleep. Too late, I’m already awake. You slither out of bed and throw on some old clothes. “Well y/n, if it’s chocolate they want then it’s chocolate they’ll get.” You freshen up and take your hidden box of chocolates and supplies downstairs. I’m really glad Beel didn’t find them. 

It was an early Sunday morning and you apparently woke up at 5:30. At least the boys won’t be here to bother me. You read the recipes on your D.D.D. and start playing some lofi. You felt good today. The quiet morning seemed to help with that. “A chocolate pots de creme for Lucifer, some heart shaped chocolate cookies for Mammon, chocolate cupcake with pink icing for Levi, chocolate covered strawberries for Satan, some heart shaped macarons for  Asmo, truffles for Belphie and a big chocolate cake for Beel.” 

“That sounds like an awful lot of work, young master.” Young master? You turn to see Barbatos in the doorway. “Barbatos, what are you doing here?” He rarely hangs anywhere besides the castle. You were astounded to see him. “It seems I’ve been given an ‘off day’ by Diavolo,” he sighs, “‘to enjoy the festivities’ he said.” He gives you an angelic look. “I knew you would do something for the brothers and I thought you could use my assistance.Think of it as my way of following Diavolo’s orders” 

Your eyes widen “of course, you are the best baker in all the worlds. With you, my treats will be immaculate!” You give him a triumphant smile. You start on the oldest brother with Barbatos instructing you along the way. “Thank you, Barbatos. I truly appreciate it.” He smiles. “So you decided on giving treats to all of them. I’m quite impressed but also I believe it’s the best move.” 

You laugh nervously. “If I gave chocolates to one of them I would never hear the end of it. Although I wish-” you stop yourself short. No y/n you decided to let that go last night. “Hm?” Barbatos gives you a confused look. “Ah it’s nothing,” you lie, “I just wish they would pamper me for once.” “They may do so. White day is celebrated here after all.” You drip chocolate on your shirt. Oh shit, White day. 

You immediately wanted to take back your words. The last thing you want is a fight over that. “You know on second thought, I think this is fine,” you say, gesturing to all the projects in front of you. You continue to plow through them with Barbatos making them even more beautiful than you imagined. You stop to write little notes for each of them making sure they are color coordinated as to not mix them up.

 “Y/n, you put so much thought into this. It’s impressive. Are there any brothers that have truly caught your eye?” Barbatos asks sincerely. You really just went and asked that. “No,” you admit, “although I do love them all. They make my life anything but easy, but without them I don’t think I would be as happy as I am.”

 “Well,” Barbatos hums “you surely have changed them for the better.” He takes his handkerchief and rubs the chocolate off your face. You jump at his actions but let him clean you up. “Thank you, Barbatos,” you say with a soft smile.  “My pleasure,” he whispers with a divine grin. Is he really a demon? You both finally finish and it’s 8:30 am. Barbatos took all the gifts back to the castle and promised to return when dinner rolled around. You cleanup a little and take a nap. 

You wake up to Belphie’s arms around your waist and his sleeping face on your back. Not even in the sanction of my own room can I have peace. You decide to lay with him for a while before you get ready. You pet his dark bluish hair and he moves into it. Liar. You love being pet. 

“Y/nnnn,” he mumbles, “ everyone was looking for you. I finally found you and I’m not sharing with my stupid brothers.” He whisks you around and snuggles into the crook of your neck planting a soft kiss. 

“Heyy, no foul play.” He giggles at your reaction. “As suspected, naps are always better with you, y/n.” He slowly gets up and stretches out. “Well, I’ll see you at dinner.” He gives you a lofty smile as he walks out the door.

You finally look at the time and see you have two hours before dinner. Might as well go all out. Just because I have no one in my heart doesn’t mean I can’t look nice. You shower and do your hair and nails. You stare at the outfit Asmodeus tricked you into buying. I really don’t have the confidence to do that. You hear your phone ping. 

Bubblegum bitch: Y/n~ You better wear that outfit we picked out or I’m gonna be sad. :(

Ugh creepy. He knew of your self-consciousness. He boosted your confidence. That’s his favorite thing to do. For Asmo. No, for me! You finally put on the outfit and looked in the mirror. You looked surprisingly good. You finally put some light make-up and twirled around. Good enough. 

You finally made your way to the dining hall to see everyone already seated. “Sorry, am I late?” you look at your D.D.D. and finally look back up to see the surprised faces of the demons before you.  “Ahhh~! Y/n, you look so beautiful!” Asmo whines and hugs you. You blush from embarrassment.  “Do a twirl,” he commanded. You twirl around and give a cute smile. 

“It suits you, y/n,” Lucifer compliments regaining composure, “as for your timing, I had a discussion with my adorable brothers about private matters. No, need to concern yourself.” You give him a smile and take a seat next to him. “Hey Lucifer,” you point to the open seat next to you, “who’s that for?” He just smiles refusing to answer the question. You assumed Barabtos told him about this morning and was joining us. The door to the dining hall busts open. 

“Happy Valentine’s day, everyone!” Diavolo booms, rolling in a cart of the finely wrapped gifts for the brothers. Baratos came in after him, somewhat displeased. Oh no.  Lucifer gives you a look that you knew all too well. I won’t.  You get up in front of the cart keeping it from getting raided.

 “Guys, these are all made by me for you. You all are irreplaceable and I care about each of you.” You feel your cheeks heat up. “So, Happy Valentine’s day,” you say with a bow. 

Brothers.exe stopped working. Their presents were passed out and you all sat back down. They all express an array of emotions from delight to a blushy mess. Your pride swells just slightly.

 “WOAH, Beel you got a whole cake?” Leviathan says, looking at his cupcake clearly jealous. Beel looks the happiest you’ve ever seen him and eats it within a few seconds. Yeah, seems about right. You watch Asmo try to swipe a strawberry from Satan who immediately slaps his hand. Mammon just has tears in his eyes, clutching his cookies. Belphie starts making fun of him. Your attention was so focused on the brothers that you barely saw the man to your right sitting down to eat. 

“I’m glad this worked out for you, y/n!” Diavolo says with a hefy laugh. You almost jump out of your seat. Ah, he teleported. “I’m sorry for not getting you anything. I owe it to you for taking such good care of me,” you apologize. “No, don’t pay that any mind. Seeing others having a wonderful time is more than enough for me.” He gives you a kind smile and you look away. Stay strong y/n. “Y/n, the pots de creme looks exquisite. I cannot wait to eat it,” Lucifer smiles.

 Right. You manage to keep yourself calm through dinner. Dessert starts and Mammon starts arguing with Levithan about the gifts. You sigh, “took them long enough.” Diavolo chuckles.

 “Y/n,” Mammon booms across the table “if you didn’t pick any of us then who are you really interested in?!” 

“Eh?”

“Solomon?”

“No.”

“Simeon?” 

“No.” 

His eyes widen, “Luke?!” 

“Of course not, ” you say, raising your voice.

 “Diavolo, then?” Diavolo’s attention was on you, now. Dammit Mammon. Lucifer places his hand on your knee. “Absolutely not. Mammon, believe it or not it is possible for me to not like anyone romantically,” you laugh. “Lord Diavolo, are they lying?” You look at him. 

You wanted to die. To yeet yourself into the sun and feel the burn envelope you. His face gave nothing away. “Well, I think it’s best to leave the human’s secrets alone, don't you think,” he smiles in such a way that no one think to press you further. That was it. It’s out in the open and he won’t even acknowledge it. 

“That makes sense, if they can resist the GREAT MAMMON then they can resist everyone,” Mammon laughs nervously. The brothers immediately retort but you don’t hear them. You turn to Lucifer, “I woke up extremely early today so I think I’ll turn in.” He gives you a concerned smile and nods. You bow to Diavolo, avoiding eye contact.

You arrive at your room and flop on your bed. You want to cry but your body won’t let you. You just lay in your bed in a ball. You kept your door locked that night. You didn’t have the energy to give. You slowly drifted off to sleep, letting your emotions go and exhaustion to take over.

TS~

A week has passed and you’ve been going through your normal routine. You haven’t seen Diavolo since. I guess I scared him off. At least Luci got what he wanted. You were laying down in the grass in the gardens staring at the stagnant night sky. 

“Y/n. I found you.” You open your eyes to see Luke standing over you with a crystal rose. “This is for you,” he says, giving you the luminous flower. “Lord Diavolo wants to see you.” Your heart skips a beat but you don’t get your hopes up. “Why’s that?” 

“He won’t say but he just told me to give you the flower and tell you to meet him,” Luke pouts, “I was in the middle of baking so it better be important.” You blush a bit, averting your eyes to keep up a breaking facade. 

You find yourself in the foyer of the castle, waiting for who knows what. As quick as lightning, you were lifted and carried upstairs into Diavolo’s room by none other than Diavolo himself. He places you down apologizing for touching you in a rough manner. You faze in and out unsure if this was a dream or reality. 

“Y/n.....Y/n?” Diavolo hovers over you trying to get your attention. You faze back in. “Yeah, I’m fine,” you affirm. I’m just alone with Diavolo in his room is all. “Oh thank goodness. Please sit.” 

“Thank you for the rose. It was very thoughtful,” you give him a forced smile, “but I’m afraid I must decline it.” He looks surprised at your words. “I know you know and I’m sorry for putting you in that situation. You’re a very busy leader and I know you don’t have time for such things.” Lucifer’s words taste like iron in your mouth but that was the reality you face. “I will continue being your star pupil and make sure you have at least one student to be proud about,” you smile, making your way to the door ready to leave everything behind. Diavolo takes your hand. “Please y/n, before you decide,” he pleads “let me speak.”

 You didn’t want to hear him out. Rejection is easier when you’re the one rejecting. Why is he making it hard? “First, I’m sorry you had to wait this long. I had business with my father. I would have come to you that night. In fact, I did. Your door was locked and there was no response so I decided to give you space. I realize now that it wasn’t the wisest idea. For that, I apologize.” 

You turn slightly away from him, desperately trying to hold back tears. “I don’t know what you’re thinking but I don’t despise you or dislike you...” You glance at his reddened face. “In fact, I am truly fond of you. I enjoy sitting next to you and hearing your voice, seeing your astounding progress in school.” Tears cloud your vision as Diavolo continues on. He hesitates then pulls you in for a hug. 

Your eyes widen at the sound of his heart racing as he continues on. “I am not very good at conversing with people casually. It’s always Lord Diavolo this, Lord Diavolo that. That is not the me I want you to see, to know.” He lifts your chin up to face him. 

“Now I can admit, I fell in love with you the moment I saw you. I never allowed myself to feel those emotions because of the duty I possess. However, your feelings have allowed me to hope, which I have scarcely allowed myself before. When I see you with the brothers, I can’t help but feel jealous and crave all your attention as well. I am aware that you are allowed your own freedom however, if your freedom includes loving me, then I’ll take that chance.” 

Your mind was trying to process that all at once and failing miserably. All you could muster was pulling him close for a kiss. You could feel the heat radiate off of his face as he kissed you back. “I love you too, Diavolo.”

[yelenasdog]

the pillowtalk of a pessimist (spencer reid x fem reader)

genre: fluff with a millisecond of angst

summary: pillowtalk takes an interesting turn for spencer at the mention of the harsh realities of his work.

words: 1.3k, she’s a shorty.

warnings: nsfw themes (nothing smutty, it’s just implied and also directly stated that they slept together), typical criminal minds violence + death, and maybe cursing? idk. 

a/n: btw this isn’t the fic i was ranting on about that i’m writing, she’s still in the works. also! this could be an x oc or anybody bc i didn’t use y/n if you would prefer to read it as such.

🂦∙🂦∙🂦

A pale stream of moonlight shone through the open window of apartment 23, the home of Doctor Spencer Reid. It illuminated a small section of his bedroom, specifically on one of his many floor to ceiling bookshelves, a beacon of knowledge that was there 24/7 for the taking.

The gold engravings on the spines of his many reads shimmered, a beautiful contrast to the dark mahogany the shelf was made out of.

The room smelled like a mixture of his cologne, her perfume (Chanel no. 5, specifically), and the results of their previous affairs that lingered in the crisp air of the night.

She took a deep breath, settling down further into the white duvet, pulling it over her bosom in response to the chilly temperature. The dark green walls of the room welcomed and calmed her, overwhelming the girl with a wave of serenity that could only be brought to her by him.

He quickly took note of her unsteady breathing and shift in position, immediately jumping to action. He pulled her closer by her shoulders with his strong arms, eliciting a squeal from her and a chuckle from him, more so at her reaction than the move itself.

Her head laid on his bare chest, her hair splayed out with half of it residing on his pillow, the other half on his bicep. She could have appeared to be an angel, although in his eyes, she truly was.

She rested her hand on the left side of his chest over his heart, her fingernail ghosting shapes on his tanned skin. Circles, squiggly lines, even abstract faces.

“How do you do it?”

Her voice was quiet, barely above a whisper. If his hearing wasn’t so acute, he was sure he would have missed it. This would have saddened the genius greatly, as he valued everything she had to say with a burning ferocity, and even one word lost would be a shame.

“What?”

He was confused by the nature of the question, attempting to search every corner of his brilliant brain for what she might have been referencing. Was it an equation? No, she hated math. Perhaps the way he so effortlessly could play any instrument because yet again, math. He decided that couldn’t be the subject at question either, she played better than he did, glorious melodies flowed from her fingertips. So the doctor was truly stumped.

The answer was simpler than he had imagined.

“Your job.”

With those doe eyes he was so fond of, she looked up, meeting his own glance.

If the term “heart eyes” was able to be personified, Spencer would be the guy to personify it whenever his eyes landed on the one in front of him.

“What do you mean? I get up in the morning, drink some coffee, and get to it.”

She giggled, but the sound he loved so much ceased with her pout.

“That’s not what I mean, Spence. How do you go on everyday, seeing body after body,” she trailed off, obviously distraught. Spencer wrapped his large hand tighter around her, placing his chin on her hairline.

“How do you consistently manage to look at these victims, these people, with lives that they never got to finish living-“ A tear slipped down her cheek, she bit her bottom lip, tasting her own salty droplets on her tongue. She sniffled, burying her head further in his neck with what he presumed was shame.

“And not break down when you do.” Her voice was muffled, but the emotions she felt were evident nonetheless.

He took a moment to carefully articulate an appropriate response. The gears in his mind turned ever so diligently, finding a solution to dry her tears.

“It’s not much different than what I initially said. I get up in the morning, drink some coffee.”

He pushed a hair away from her face, admiring her distinct features as he often did. She looked up, moving her left hand to trace his sharp jaw as he sat in thought.

“And I realize that these people that are now dead, are a part of the hundreds, of throusands, of millions of people that die every year. It’s a part of life, what gives it meaning.”

She gave a dry, humourless laugh.

“What, you don’t have a specific statistic for that?”

“Oh, I do, but I don’t think you want to hear it.” He tilted his head, weighing the option of disclosing the information but deciding against it.

“But the bottom line is, they have families. Families that are grieving, and hurting, and needing answers and justice. I cannot do my job and give them the closure they deserve if I’m staying focused on my own emotions and delving deep into who the victims were, rather than how to catch those responsible for hurting them.”

She moved on to her back, stilling managing to keep her eye contact with Spencer.

“But you’re a profiler! That’s what you do! You’re supposed to, what did you call it, ‘delve deep’ into who they are.”

“Pretty girl, are you trying to tell the one with 3 doctorates how to do his job?”

She rolled her eyes, lazily throwing a hand on his neck, right behind his ear. She ran it back and forth, savoring the intimate moment.

“Yeah, yeah. Shut up, Agent.” She taunted, poorly trying (and failing) to agitate Spencer. She had a hunch (that was more true than either of them would let on) that it wasn’t possible for her to do so, and he found himself proving it to be correct.

“I just had to learn to let the family do what they had to do so that I could do the same.”

The girl’s tone softened as she spoke, staring at the popcorn ceiling.

“I guess so. I’m just too empathetic, my heart is too pure.” She joked, a feathery laugh falling past both of their lips.

“Of course. I would expect nothing less.” He teased back, enjoying the dynamic they both held in the tender moment.

“You amaze me.” She muttered, leaning in, analyzing him and his ruffled post-sex hair, his gorgeously long lashes, and his light 5 o’clock shadow that donned his chin.

He huffed quietly, doing the exact same thing, minus the scruff of course.

“I could say the same to you, pretty girl.”

Their lips connected once again, in a different manner than the feverish and needy kiss from before.

This time, it was a union of two individuals, allowing themselves to mould together in a way only the two of them could. It was slower and sweeter, with more feeling poured into their lips while they moved in sync.

“M’ tired.”

“Yeah? You wanna go to sleep, bubs?”

She grinned as she snuggled into his arms, her exhausted eyes fluttering to a close.

“Bubs, huh? That’s new.”

A worried frown made its way onto his face as he rushed to cover up his previous words.

“D-do you not like it? I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable-“

“Spence.”

He stopped, looking over her for any microexpressions, only seeing positive signs. That wasn’t technically profiling, right? He hoped he would be in the clear if she ever was to find out.

“I love it, baby. Say it again.”

“Bubs?”

“Mhm. Say it again.” She sounded with content. He smirked, a proud feeling infiltrating his body, causing him to puff up his chest in the slightest way.

“Goodnight, bubs.”

He reached up, his paranoia forcing him to close the window above him, despite being a more than qualified FBI agent with a revolver safely tucked away in the top drawer of his night stand that never quite was shut all the way.

It was just the pessimist in him.

She wrapped around his figure, intertwining his form with her own.

“Sleep well, Spence.”

He felt happy with her, happier than he had been in a long time. He relished in that, allowing it to lull him to a well needed rest.

But what could he say, she just brought out the optimist in him.

🂦∙🂦∙🂦

hj posting at a time that isn’t 3 am?????? unheard of. also i may or may not have pulled an all nighter to write whatever tf this is bc my ex posted something with his new gf and i felt pathetic LMAO. anyway, i hope your day is fabulous, go drink some water and remember things are what you make of them and it’s all about intent! love you, xx hj.

[hopelesshawks]

Ash and Dust Part 6- Small Victories

18+ Dabi x fem!reader (MINORS DNI)

Summary: You first meet Dabi on the worst night of your life after unwittingly walking into the very bar the League of Villains made infamous. That should probably be the end of the story. You stumble on the remnants of one of the most infamous terrorist groups in the history of Japan, get viciously murdered or call the cops and get them arrested, the end. Except that’s not the end of the story. It’s only the beginning.

Masterlist Help Lulu (Kofi)

It’s been a month now.

A month of the worst game you’ve ever played in your entire life.

Dabi enjoys the back and forth the two of you have, that much is clear. He seems to get a sick thrill prodding you to see what elicits a quip out of you and what renders you speechless. It’s nerve-wracking constantly standing up to him, trying to navigate the line between jabs that will amuse him and those that will genuinely anger him. By now you feel you’ve got a pretty solid handle on where that line is. You’ve made an art form out of treading around it, but every so often you’ll say something particularly witty or biting and there will be a moment of silence. Those cold blue eyes will fix on you and your heart will pound in your chest. You used to identify the feeling as fear but you think it’s something else now, something you’re unwilling to put a name to. That one moment always seems to extend infinitely before collapsing back in on itself as the words sink in and you pull another amused smirk or even a full-blown cackle from the man. You don’t think he likes you per se, but there’s a persistent fascination that you’re pretty sure makes him want to keep you around. If that were the only facet of the game you think you could live with it, but there’s one more thing.

Dabi is determined to keep you unemployed.

Or perhaps more accurately he’s determined to see how long it’ll take you to give up on being employed.

Every morning for the past month you’ve attempted to get a new job and every morning for the past month Dabi has managed to fuck it up for you one way or the other. From preventing you from doing any prep work for the numerous interviews you’ve attempted to set up, to sabotaging your morning to ensure you show up late, he’s done it all. On one occasion he pretended to be your concerned husband calling to cancel the interview on your behalf, on another he’d burned all of the paperwork you’d needed to bring in to cinders. The interviewers hadn’t been very amused when you opened your manila envelope only for ash to come slipping out and onto the table instead of the requested files. The only reason you aren’t terrified of being unable to pay the rent is because of your artwork. A sentence you never thought would apply to you.

Those two retweets you’d gotten on the Deku painting you’d posted had quickly grown to twenty, then thirty, then a hundred, and then a couple hundred. A few people had even started tagging Deku himself in hopes of drawing his attention to it. The recognition had drawn people to your page and then, finding no other work there, to your dm’s, begging for copies of the painting or their very own Deku fanart. It had reached the point that a couple weeks ago you had decided to start advertising commissions and a few people had taken you up on the offer. It’s not much, but between the commissions and your savings, it would be enough to get you through this month’s rent at least.

You love creating art and it’s surreal getting to do what you love to pay some of your bills, but between spending more time slouched in front of your easel or over a sketchbook and sleeping on the couch, your back is the sorest it’s ever been. As you finish getting ready for bed, slipping into a pair of comfortable pajama shorts and an old college t-shirt, you stare at your bedroom door longingly, yearning for the comfort of your mattress. As you hear the creaking of its springs, a sign Dabi must be crawling into bed after another successful day of fucking your life up, something in you snaps. Your feet carry you into your bedroom, shoving the door open with righteous indignation. You’re a little surprised to see that Dabi is shirtless as he lies in the bed nonchalantly, brow quirking at your sudden entrance. Your eyes can’t help but wander over his chest, noting where scarred tissue is stapled to unmarred flesh but also drinking in the lean muscle on display.

“Ever heard of knocking Doll?”

The sound of his voice breaks you from your thoughts.

“Sorry what?” you ask, cheeks heating up as you realize where your mind had gone.

“I didn’t take you for a pervert but here you are, bursting into my room just to ogle me,” Dabi teases, and immediately your embarrassment from before melts into anger.

“Your room? This is my room! And that’s my bed! And I didn’t come in here to ogle you, I came to sleep in my bed in my room in my apartment!”

“I have zero intention of leaving this bed, but I don’t recall ever saying you couldn’t sleep here.”

Your eyes narrow at him. He’s so smug you want to wipe that stupid look off his face. He’s bluffing and it’s a damn good bluff but it’s a bluff all the same.

“What’s wrong, Doll? Scared to sleep next to the big bad Wolf?” he smirks and that’s the last straw.

Without a word, you storm over towards the bed and practically launch yourself into the limited space Dabi isn’t occupying. You groan appreciatively and within minutes you’re under the covers and getting comfortable. When you look up to Dabi’s face where he’s still sitting up there’s a brief moment of genuine shock and discomfort that flits across his features. It’s gone as quickly as it appeared but a smug feeling of triumph swells in your chest in response.

“What’s wrong Dabi? Scared to sleep next to your Doll?” you smirk and the amount of serotonin you get seeing the look on his face could last you a lifetime. It’s a combination of affronted at your audacity, annoyed you’d called him on his bluff, and begrudgingly impressed you’d had the courage to do it. “We both know I’m not scared of anything,” he growls. “Then sleeping next to each other shouldn’t be a problem, should it? Since I’m not scared and you’re not scared,” you fire back. “No, it shouldn’t.”

Dabi makes himself comfortable as you both stare each other down, daring the other to chicken out and move to the couch outside. Stubbornness cements you both in place though and eventually with a smug goodnight you roll over to face away from him. You hear him scoff and do the same but it feels distant as your aching body settles into the mattress and you drift off to sleep.

A/N: I am very much obsessed with the dynamic reader and Dabi are forming and really enjoy the idea of her feeling out where the line is between “I’m gonna fire back and he’ll be amused my puny ass had the tits to do it” and “oh he’s genuinely pissed and debating ending my life”

Taglist: @thechroniclesofawriter @simpsfortodoroki @ahtsuwu @oliviasslut @larkspyrr @oikawaandkuroostan @tina-98 @vibesdontlie