I Am So Depressed I Feel Like Jumping in the River Behind My House but Won’t Because I’m Thirty-Eight and Not Eighteen
Bring me a drink.
I need to think a little.
Paper. Pen.
And I could use the stink
of a good cigar–even
though the sun’s out.
The grackles in the trees.
The grackles inside my heart.
Broken feathers and stiff wings.
I could jump.
But I don’t.
You could kill me.
But you won’t.
The grackles
calling to each other.
The long hours.
The long hours.
The long hours.
oh my god will people shut up about Heaven Sent it's literally not even that good how can people talk about it like it's (literally) heaven sent when it's not even Love and Monsters, the best Doctor Who episode and possibly one of the best 45 minutes one can live through
Ok so first off (this is centered around Takaaki btw it makes more sense if I do it like that)
Taka, Celeste, Kiyondo-His kids
Natsu (oc)-His sister
Gundham, Peko-Neicephews?????? (binaryn't form of neice/nephew)
Mondo, Takemitchi, Daiya- Adopted
Jin- Consensual non-workplace lover
Kyoko- Technically step daughter but doesn't want to be here
Hiroko- Doesn't trust him to take care of himself
Yasuhiro- Step child????
Nekomaru, Sonia- Besties with almost all of the bio and some of the non bio family
Leon-New son ig?????
Takaaki comes home one day is just boggled by how many people are in his house
the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
if you opened discord’s april fools day loot boxes how long did it take you to get all the items? it took my friend 18 boxes but me 65 and i want to see how bad my luck is
sometimes you just have to let yourself be a bit neurodivergent.
i hate going out, it gives me a lot of anxiety and sensory input that i dont like, and i am often forced to talk to people.
so i do this thing on more difficult days, or sometimes just for fun, where i "bring a fictional character with me". i walk and imagine Fictional Character walking next to me. they talk to me, reassure me, hype me up, whatever i need them to do.
today dean winchester came christmas shopping with me. he went over the list with me of stuff i needed to get, told me i was doing a good job every time i finished in a certain shop, reminded me to take a deep breath when i got a little overwhelmed.
and yea. its kinda silly. and i know its just me talking to myself in a different voice, but it Works! especially since all of my special interests/hyperfixations tend to be tv/movie related.
so do what you gotta do to Get Shit Done. stop holding yourself to neurotypical standards. if you need Fictional Character to tell you you're doing a good job, do it! if you need Favourite Singer to walk you to school, do it! yea it might feel silly but you're literally fighting against your own brain to get stuff done every single day. you can have a little self indulgent daydream, as a treat.