#i am thankful to death for all the feedback gosh

[bellaxgiornata]

All These Years [Part 16: "The Death of Miscommunication"]

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader

[You can find the full series summary and masterlist of installments for All These Years here.]

Warnings/tags: 18+ for this series; contains emotional hurt with no comfort until the final installments, angst, pining, friends to lovers, slowburn, and eventually smut

Word Count: 4.9k

a/n: The frustration should mostly leave us all in this one! The gradual comfort and fluff slowly begins from here on out! You survived the worst of the angst and we're going to head towards a happy ending! Feedback is always appreciated!

Tag list: @acharliecoxedfan @theetherealbloom @rotscinema @magnumstyles @roseallisonparker @ofmusesandsecrets @readerhead @paracosmic-murdock @v4leoftears @why-always-me-gosh-please @redbircl @keepingitlokiii @yarrystyleeza @mattkinsella @ms-murdockswift @margoo0 @1988-fiend @lockleywife @strangeobsessed @justalittlebitbored @am-3-thyst @buckybarnes-1917 @thora-jane @lionalsowrites @cloudroomblog @prince-tassel @danzer8705 @yourlocalbentspine @harperdoodle @hollandorks @mattmurdocksstarlight @yeonalie

“So your grades were finally posted and now it's a literal fact that Karen Page is a goddamn smarty pants?” you teased.

Across from you on your couch, Karen giggled and snuggled further under the blanket you were both sharing. Both of you were cradling a glass of white wine in your hands, the leftover Thai food you’d had for dinner sitting on your coffee table. 

Karen’s flight had gotten in about three hours ago and you had been beyond excited for her to be staying the week at your place. Though it felt so strange having part of your New York life in LA, and it certainly meant a particular someone from New York was on your mind a bit more than usual today.

“I’m honestly shocked I did so well with everything I’ve had going on,” Karen told you. “I mean, that was a full class load and I was helping Foggy and Matt at the office part time.”

Something stirred in your chest at the mention of Matt, your smile momentarily faltering before you forced it back on your face. “Yeah,” you agreed. “Honestly when you told me you’d just go down to working part time while taking classes and working on your law degree, I thought you’d finally gone insane. I don’t know how you’re going to keep that up, but more power to you if you can, Kare.”

“Thanks,” she said, tucking a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. “So you’re still enjoying the new job here?”

You nodded, bringing your wine glass up to your lips for a drink. Swallowing down the slightly sweet wine, you continued to smile back at Karen, though it felt a little strained.

“Yeah, I enjoy the job. Admittedly the pay has had a lot to do with that,” you replied. “And I’ve been enjoying the new city, but I’ve told you that already. The food here is honestly just as incredible as back in New York, but now I actually have the money to indulge in it more often. And the night life is…entertaining, to say the least.”

Karen laughed, drawing her own glass of wine towards her mouth. The glass hesitated by her lips for a moment though as her sharp blue eyes studied you silently. 

“You know,” she began slowly, “I’ve noticed you don’t talk about your dating life much out here.”

Your brows drew together, head tilting to the side. Had you not mentioned it to her? You knew you hadn’t really said much to Foggy, not really wanting it to get back to Matt and end up hurting him that you’d been so actively dating, but you didn’t realize you hadn’t told Karen much.

“I haven’t?” you asked her.

She shook her head, swallowing down her sip of wine. “No,” she answered. “Have you been dating?”

“Yeah,” you admitted, heat burning at your cheeks as you focused on the wine glass in your lap. “It was difficult at first, because it–it sort of felt wrong, you know?”

“Because of Matt?” Karen asked.

You nodded, your gaze still focused on the glass of wine in your lap. Your fingers lightly drummed along the side of it nervously. You desperately wanted to ask her about Matt but you were afraid to know what had been going on with him since you’d left.

“But yes, I’ve been dating,” you confessed.

“Has…anything come of it?” she asked curiously. “Have you met anyone?”

Clearing your throat nervously, eyes still averted, you shook your head. “I’ve…met a lot of someones, actually,” you told her. “But not a particular someone.”

“Wow,” Karen said in surprise.

Her tone caused you to look back up at her, shocked to see she was grinning back at you from the other end of the couch. Your brows drew together in confusion; you’d expected her to be a little upset because she had known about your feelings for Matt and his feelings for you. Part of you had wondered if she might consider it some sort of betrayal to him that you’d been sleeping with other men since you now knew your feelings weren’t one-sided.

“So you’ve been putting yourself out there and actually enjoying being single?” she asked. “Not just holed up in your apartment or at work, but actually out here living your life?”

You smiled sheepishly at her, nodding in response. “Yeah,” you admitted. “I’ve been getting out quite frequently.”

“Good,” she replied. “I’m happy for you. LA seems like it’s been good for you then. Because I know how tied to your job you were back in Hell’s Kitchen. And how…unavailable you often made yourself. You seem to be enjoying it here.”

Your smile faltered yet again this evening. Karen’s perceptive gaze immediately caught the small downward movement of your lips, though. Her piercing blue eyes narrowed back at you.

“What’s that about?” she asked, gesturing towards your face. 

"What?" you asked innocently.

"That look," she clarified. "You are happy here, right? Because you always make it seem that way when we talk to you, but…that was definitely a look that said there's more to the story."

You shifted on the couch, drawing your legs further into yourself under the blanket. Not wanting to lie to Karen, you decided to be entirely honest.

"I like it here," you answered truthfully. "I do. And I've been pretty content since I moved. This apartment is far nicer than the one I had in Hell’s Kitchen, and I actually have a savings account that isn't sad to look at. I've made some friends out here," you continued. "And I haven't had much issue when it comes to finding guys to, you know, sleep with. I mean there's…been a surprising amount."

"Oh my God," Karen said with a giggle on the other side of the couch. "I am dying to hear about all of those details while I’m here."

Nervously biting your lip, your fingers once again drummed along the side of your wine glass. You could feel the shift in Karen’s demeanor instantly, as if she had simultaneously picked up on the shift in your mood.

"But it's not what I want," you admitted quietly, shaking your head. "I don't want to keep sleeping around with a different guy almost every week."

"Shit," Karen whispered in disbelief. "Almost weekly? You've certainly been busy."

You sent her another sheepish smile which had her swiftly shaking her head and waving a hand quickly between the pair of you.

"Like I said, I'm proud of you for putting yourself out there," she explained. "No judgment whatsoever. Honestly? I'm envious because I've been too busy to even think about sex. But I'm guessing the reason it's not what you want has a lot to do with a certain lawyer with a questionable hobby back in Hell’s Kitchen?"

Exhaling a long breath, one of your hands began anxiously running through your hair. It had taken you this past month to fully come to that conclusion yourself. For a while you'd tried to tell yourself it was just because you'd wanted more from the men you kept seeing here, but soon it started to become glaringly obvious that you couldn't hide from the truth.

You were still in love with Matthew Murdock.

Moving to the other side of the country hadn’t magically gotten rid of your feelings for him. They were still there. And while that ache in your chest hadn’t hit you as often, and you weren’t sitting around constantly crying over Matt once you’d really settled into your life here, you couldn’t deny the truth. You missed him and you wanted him. These other men had only made that clearer for you.

"Yes," you replied. "Everything is great here, and I’ve been trying to be open-minded and meet new people. But I still have feelings for Matt. I tried hard to move past him, but I–I just can't. I love him, Karen. That hasn't changed."

Karen leaned forward towards you on the couch, sitting up a bit straighter. There was a small smile on her face as she gazed back at you. 

"Where do you…stand with all of that?" she asked. “With him?”

You shrugged a shoulder, shaking your head. "I don't know," you told her. "I'm still a little hurt about him letting me think he was dead for so long when he wasn’t–that all of you did, if I'm being honest."

"I'm sorry," Karen apologized immediately. "I didn't want to do that to you, but I didn't want you to get hurt. None of us did."

"I know you're all sorry and regret it," you told her. "I’ve heard the apologies countless times from each of you. And I believe you all, which is why I've forgiven you. All three of you, including Matt, because I think he grew from the situation and truly learned from it. But that doesn't erase the hurt it caused.” Shoulders sagging, your eyes dropped down to the glass of wine in your lap. You swirled the liquid, watching as it spun in a circular motion in the glass. “And then there's the whole thing with Erica," you continued quietly.

"He's not with her," Karen stated. 

A hopeful feeling blossomed in your chest at her words, your eyes slowly rising from the glass of wine to see Karen staring back at you. Had Matt really not gone back to her when you left then? He wasn't still thinking about marrying her? 

"He's not?" you asked timidly. 

Karen shook her head firmly. "No, he hasn't been with anyone. I think he's always hopeful you'll suddenly show up in Hell’s Kitchen again someday. He’s either always working on some case or another for the firm, keeping himself busy, or he’s out scouring rooftops around Hell’s Kitchen at night. He really doesn’t do anything else–besides mope, I suppose.”

“Oh,” you breathed out. “So he’s not…seeing anyone? Sleeping with anyone?”

“Nope,” Karen said, her smile growing wider.

Matt wasn’t dating. 

It had been nearing six months since you’d left Hell’s Kitchen–left Matt after his confession of having feelings for you as well–and he wasn’t dating. Which was unheard of. Because it was Matt . You’d always known him to be with someone, whether it was a one night sort of thing or him casually dating someone. Matt was always with someone.

But ever since you’d left he hadn’t been with anyone else.

“Why?” you asked her. “He’s usually always turning on the charm and getting attention.”

Karen dramatically rolled her eyes at you, her smile widening. “Are you seriously asking me that? Matt confesses he has feelings for you months ago, right before you hop on a plane, and then suddenly he has the most impressive lack of a dating history he’s ever had? And you can’t put two and two together?”

“Because of…me?” you whispered.

“Obviously!” Karen said, leaning forward and swatting your leg. “You know, the other week the three of us were out to lunch and this woman came right up and flirted with him at our table. And you know what he said?”

“Something witty accompanied with that damn charming smile of his?” you deadpanned.

“No!” Karen exclaimed. “He told her he wasn’t interested!”

Your brows drew together on your forehead. That wasn't like Matt. He usually loved the attention, or at least it always seemed like he did, and he would inevitably turn on the charm and flirt back even if he declined anything more. 

"You both still aren't talking, right?" Karen asked, a mischievous grin forming on her lips.

Your eyes narrowed at her suspiciously. "No, we aren't," you answered slowly. "He hasn't reached out to me and I wasn't sure why. And the more time that went by, the more terrified I became at the thought of reaching out myself. I–I figured he didn’t want to hear from me because I hadn’t heard from him."

"Well, Fog wanted me to do a video call with you while I was out here." She shrugged innocently despite the devious smile on her face only growing. "I figured we could call him Monday mid-afternoon their time because I know they both will be there at the office. It'd be a chance for you and Matt to finally talk again." She raised a brow at you. "What do you say?"

Chewing your lip, you felt nerves swirling in your stomach. You'd get to see Matt again, even if it wasn’t in person. Talk to him. Hear his voice. The thought alone had your heart racing.

"Yeah," you whispered. "Okay."

Sitting beside Karen on the stools at the breakfast bar in your kitchen, you were nervously chewing your thumbnail as you rested your elbows on the white quartz counter. She was dialing Foggy on her phone for the video chat that she'd mentioned the other day and you were feeling incredibly anxious. 

It had been months since you'd spoken to Matt at all, and with the way you'd left him back in Hell’s Kitchen, you weren't sure what to expect. Maybe he wouldn't want to talk to you at all. And with how you knew he felt about the people he loved leaving him, you wouldn't be surprised. 

But the longer you sat there, hearing the phone ringing as you waited for Foggy to answer, the more nervous you felt yourself growing. By the time Foggy finally answered the call, shouting your name in excitement when he first saw you, you felt ready to run to your bathroom and throw up.

Though that could also have been due to the aftereffects of your night out with Karen last night.

"Hey, Fog," you greeted him in return.

Despite the way your stomach was churning and roiling violently, making you feel sick and a little on edge, a large smile spread across your face at the sight of one of your absolute best friends. It hit you in that moment just how long it had been since you'd last seen him. You definitely had missed him and his words of advice and comfort that you'd come to rely on over the years.

"How are two of Hell’s Kitchen’s finest ladies doing out in LA today?" Foggy asked, a broad smile on his own face. 

"Tired, we were up late last night," Karen said with a laugh. "We actually only woke up about an hour ago."

Foggy glanced down at his watch, his face scrunching up. A second later his eyes closed as if he was thinking. 

"Isn't it about eleven in the morning out there?" Foggy asked, his eyes opening again. "So you both woke up around ten this morning?"

"Well we didn't go to sleep until after two," you informed him. "And we needed our beauty rest for another night out tonight."

"Ahh, so that's why you ladies look so lovely this morning," Foggy teased.

You saw Karen roll her eyes beside you in the small screen that was displaying the pair of you. But your mind was already on something else as you took in the sight of Foggy sitting in his office. Chewing your thumbnail nervously again, you worked up the courage to just ask. 

"Is Matt there?" you blurted, full well knowing he'd have heard you asking for him if he was. 

Karen immediately grinned at your question, waggling her brows playfully at Foggy who's mouth had dropped open. He looked stunned on the screen and that only had heat creeping up your cheeks.

Quickly trying to recover, Foggy nodded. "Yeah, he is," he answered. "He's just over in his office. Do you…want me to see if he's free to chat, too?"

You saw the hopeful, overeager look on his face and only felt your face heating further. You had a feeling Karen and Foggy had planned this somehow, trying to find a way to get you and Matt to finally reconnect after your move. But if it worked, you weren't about to complain about their scheming. 

"Yeah, if he's not busy," you answered nervously. "I don't want to bother him."

"Trust me," Foggy said, swiftly rising to his feet from his desk chair, "you're not going to be bothering him."

You watched Foggy make his way out of his office, eventually passing Karen’s desk before you heard the knock he made on Matt's office door. The camera was focused on the side of Foggy’s face when you heard Matt call out from inside his office in response, his voice just registering over the phone. You sucked in a nervous breath instantly–it had been far too long since you’d heard that voice. 

From beside you, Karen sent you a reassuring smile. It didn’t help to ease the knotting of your stomach though as you heard Foggy opening Matt’s office door. Shoving your thumbnail back into your mouth, your teeth began aggressively gnawing on it. You heard Foggy telling Matt that he was on the phone with you and Karen, though you had a feeling he already knew with his hearing. Admittedly you were glad his senses couldn’t pick up on much through the phone though, because you were sure your body was doing all sorts of things right now.

For a few seconds you saw the camera jostling around before both Matt and Foggy came into view on Karen’s phone screen. Your teeth bit down hard on your nail, your heart nearly exploding out of your chest at the bright smile on Matt’s face just beneath his familiar red glasses. He greeted you first, the sound of your name coming from his mouth making your heart stutter in your chest. It was a moment before he seemed to remember to greet Karen, too, which she was quick to tease him about. But you sat there feeling like you couldn’t breathe just at the sight of him.

Because there he was. Matt. Your Matt. In his white dress shirt and a dark red tie today, one that matched his lenses. The stubble was a bit darker on his cheeks than usual and his hair looked a little windswept, but there was a bright smile on his face, one that had the lone dimple in his right cheek visible. You found yourself suddenly overcome with the desperate urge to reach through the phone and hug him. 

You had definitely missed him. More than you’d apparently realized.

“Hey, Matty,” you finally greeted, feeling a little shy.

You were aware there was a massive, idiotic smile on your face that you were glad he couldn’t see. But unfortunately for you, Foggy and Karen could see it. Though Matt’s smile only seemed to grow wider across his face when you’d spoken, which only kept your eyes completely glued to him despite Foggy standing just beside him.  He actually seemed happy to be hearing from you and you soon felt foolish for thinking he'd feel otherwise.

"I hope you're enjoying your time with Karen," Matt said.

"Yes," you replied immediately, your face somehow heating further at your next words. "Though I–I wish you could have all come out to visit me."

You saw the looks both Foggy and Karen exchanged over the video at your comment, Foggy’s smile widening even further. Because they were aware of what that comment really meant. They knew what you were trying to say.

And judging by the look of surprise on Matt’s face, his dark brows rising onto his forehead for a long moment, he was surprised to hear you'd wished he could be there, too. When he recovered, the smile he sent you next had your heart racing. He was so handsome, your memory certainly hadn't done him justice.

"I wish we weren't so busy here at the firm," Matt told you. "We would have liked to join Karen if we could have."

"Well, I'm–I'm happy to hear the firm is doing so well lately," you replied nervously. "Though I've…definitely missed you all."

You saw Matt reach up, one hand pulling his glasses off of his face and revealing the soft, affectionate look in his hazel eyes as they focused just to the side of the camera. A warmer, sweeter smile had drawn itself across his lips, the sight causing your hands to grip your countertop firmly. 

"We've definitely missed you, too," he said quietly. 

"Okay, okay," Foggy cut in, waving a hand in front of Matt's face and the phone. "Just so everyone is clear, you're both saying you missed each other." He turned and looked at Matt, shooting him a pointed stare as he said firmly, "And she's saying she wouldn't mind if you visited her in the future." His head turned swiftly as he shot you a look through the phone, his eyes narrowed. "Right? Because I don't want any more miscommunication with you two. I've had years of it."

Biting your lip, you nodded nervously. "Yes," you replied shyly. "That's exactly what I'm saying."

Your heart felt like it flew into your throat when Foggy focused back on Matt. You weren’t sure what to expect of his reaction even after hearing his confession to you months ago.

"Okay, so are you on board with using your words now, Matt?" he asked him. "I know you're good with them, I see you in court all the time, buddy."

Matt chuckled lightly, nodding his head. You couldn't tell if it was the phone or not, but it almost looked like Matt was faintly blushing when he spoke.

"Yes, I'm saying I missed you," he confessed. "And that I wish I could have come to visit you, too."

"Excellent!" Foggy exclaimed. He threw an arm around a grinning Matt’s shoulders beside him. “The miscommunication finally ends! We shall forever call this moment the death of miscommunication! But you two can talk to each other on your own and catch up another time, because I want to hear about Karen’s time in LA so far. And I especially want to know why you girls were out until two in the morning on a Sunday night.”

A look of surprise washed over Matt’s face, his lips pulling up into a curious grin. “You know, I’d like to hear about this, too. I’m guessing it involved drinking?” he asked.

“It definitely involved drinking,” Karen answered, a grin on her own face. “And dancing.”

“Oh, well now this I’ve got to hear!” Foggy said excitedly.

The moment you saw Foggy turn and shoot Matt a smile, and you saw the smile that spread across Matt’s own face in return, you knew exactly what they were about to bring up. You groaned, rolling your eyes.

“Did she dance on any tables, Karen?” Foggy asked, his focus returning to the two of you.

“Belt out any songs?” Matt added.

Throwing your face in your hands, you groaned louder. Beside you, Karen was laughing and shaking her head.

“No, but I feel like there’s a story in there,” she said.

“Oh there most certainly is!" Foggy began enthusiastically. "So there was this night, just a few months after we first met her at Columbia, where we brought her to a party. She got really drunk. Like, I don’t know how many shots I saw go down this one’s mouth that night,” he said, pointing at you through the phone as you peaked at him through your fingers, “but holy shit. She was intoxicated . Almost immediately after us arriving.”

“I remember she was holding onto me for support the duration of the night,” Matt teased, a big smile on his own mouth.

"And I remember apologizing profusely the next day because I'd ruined your night," you grumbled.

"Nah," Matt said with a shake of his head and a broad smile on his face. "You didn't ruin my night."

"You had one beer the whole time!" you reminded him. "And Foggy said you spent the whole night taking care of me."

"I didn't mind," he said with a shrug, the smile still on his face. "I wanted to make sure you were alright. And it meant I got to spend the entire night with you clinging to me."

 Your bottom lip rolled back between your teeth at his words, a rush of warmth abruptly flooding you. You vaguely remembered that night, but you'd always felt bad about how it had gone. You’d always guiltily felt like you'd ruined Matt’s evening because you'd gotten so drunk. Always thought he'd felt obligated to take care of you, making it so he couldn't go back to anyone else's dorm for what you figured he usually did after parties, but apparently he was happy to have you attached to him that night. Which had been news to you.

"Besides," Matt continued, "even drunk, it was still a little hot watching you on that table."

Foggy snorted out a laugh as your face suddenly burned with embarrassment. Beside you, Karen let out a giggle as Matt continued to smile back at you through the phone screen.

"You only heard what Fog told you about it, Matt," you shot back. "You didn't actually get to experience it fully that night, so I don’t know how you think you can tease me about that."

A devilish smirk slid across his mouth, amusement dancing in his eyes. "Heightened senses, sweetheart,” he said smoothly. “I experienced it quite well, actually."

Your eyes widened in shock, your mouth falling open. He only chuckled when you cried out in further embarrassment before burying your face back into your hands.

"I don't want to reminisce anymore!" you shouted. “It’s vastly too mortifying knowing the things I know now!”

The three of them laughed as you tried to disappear into your countertop. You couldn’t even begin to imagine all of the moments you didn’t realize Matt was aware of more than you had known. Though a part of you did wonder what moments with Matt you’d misread all those years ago.

Settling onto your couch, you flipped on your television and skimmed absently through the channels. Your apartment felt empty now that Karen had left a bit ago to catch her flight back to New York. It had been a fun week having her here, especially because it felt like she’d brought a bit of Hell’s Kitchen with her. But now that she was gone, your apartment seemed oddly quiet and a little lonely. Even the noise of the television didn’t seem to help with that.

You’d done another short video call with her a few days after the first one, feeling like a schoolgirl with a crush the moment Matt joined Foggy on the call with his smiling face. The memory of him pulled at your heartstrings now, making you feel a little teary-eyed as you tried to focus on the television. You missed all three of them and Hell’s Kitchen, but you’d gradually started to make a life out here in LA. You had an amazing career here, one that paid exceptionally well. It wasn’t realistic for you to uproot back to New York on a whim just because you missed your friends. Even if you happened to have really strong, not-so-friendly feelings for one of those friends. This was your life now, at least for the time being. The feelings from Karen’s visit would eventually fade and things would return to how they were. 

For some reason that thought only made you feel worse.

Your phone vibrated on your coffee table, the brief buzzing noise catching your attention. Curious, you leaned forward and saw you had a text message. You figured it would be from Karen letting you know she was bored at the airport, or maybe Alicia wanting to meet up tomorrow for lunch. She’d certainly had fun meeting Karen the other night. But you were surprised to see it was Matt’s name that had shown up on your screen. It had been months since he’d reached out to you, and even though Foggy had claimed the pair of you had put your miscommunication to death the other day, neither of you had actually reached out to the other all week. You wondered if he ever would, or if it would be up to you to figure out what to say to break the strange lack of communication between the pair of you. 

Opening up his text, your eyes read over it quickly.

2:36PM  Matt: Foggy just told me Karen is at the airport now. Figured you were probably feeling a little down. Just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you.

Your eyes ran over the text multiple times, your heart beating a little faster as you did. He’d reached out to you. After months of silence, he’d actually reached out. It was only through text, but still, that was better than nothing. Your eyes reread the last line of his text a few more times, a small smile steadily growing on your lips as you did because he was thinking about you. You . No one else. Just you.

There were certainly things that Matt and you needed to discuss, things better discussed in person if there was ever the opportunity, but this was good. This was progress. This was you and Matt hopefully finding your way back to each other with honest communication. 

With a glimmer of hope building inside of you, your fingers flew across your phone as you began to type up a response.

[END NOTES]

I like end notes, alright? 🤣 For those who read FFTD over on AO3, y'all know the novels I write there.

So they're finally talking again!! And we see Reader fully acknowledge the fact that she still loves Matt, even if her life is still very much rooted in LA at the moment. Once again we can thank Foggy and even Karen for pushing the two to finally talk!

From here on out the angst slowly fizzles out, but it still exists because, well, there's clearly physical distance between Matt and Reader. But at least they're going to openly communicate with each other and be honest about their feelings. It only took YEARS for them to reach this point! Hopefully y'all are still enjoying this series as it now reaches the fluffy and eventually smut-filled installments! Is there a long distance relationship with Matty in the future? You'll have to wait and see...

[the-heart-of-a-monster]

I’ve been gone for so long but I have so much to say and idk how to say it so please be prepared for an absolute mess of an ask lol

First, I just really wanna give appreciation for Super Emeralds (The comic creator) and their dedication to THOAM. I’ve been on Tumblr for just a little more than a year at this point, and I only joined in the first place because of this comic. I got into it way back in… What was it, 2020?? 2021? And I fell in love immediately with the concept! Sonic feeling insecure about his new Werehog form? Chip being an active member of the team and a great friend?? TEAM DARK??? SONADOW DONE RIGHT?????????? Ohohoho! You can bet I was completely on board! I tried my best to comment on every page, because I just love giving positive feedback for things I enjoy, and took note of how Super Emeralds evolved their style as the years went on. I wasn’t there during the beginning, and I really wish I was, but the time I’ve spent following this fun little comic has made me feel so much appreciation not just for Super Emeralds as a person, but for the entire Sonic art community as a whole! Art is a creative endeavor, a passionate career, and sometimes it’s really hard to just. Draw. Comics are especially hard as I’ve discovered. So just… Good job to Super Emeralds for sticking around all these years and for giving us such an incredibly thought out and beloved series. And thank you.

…

ALRIGHT ENOUGH OF THAT MUSHY GUSHY STUFF AND LET’S TALK ABOUT THE BLUE BOY HIMSELF THAT IS NOW NO LONGER JUST BLUE MUAHAHAHAHASHEHEHEKEFHEOFHFFPWEHFLFHD

I’ve been a bit absent from Tumblr for the last few weeks due to sickness and lack of interest so I am undoubtedly missing a page or two from the equation but OH MY GOSH. POOR SONIC. Bro wakes up from like a 2-day long nap and the first thing he sees is his little brother screaming in his face at 3AM. He’s so confused haha! I noticed he isn’t as insecure or he isn’t really freaking out as much as I assumed he would way back during the exposition pages. This is obviously due to the confusion and whiplash after waking up as his “Normal” self again, but I feel like it’s just him putting on another fascade around his friends. To an extent, at least. He isn’t aware of the new pink markings all over his body and he isn’t aware of just how worried all his friends were. All he knows is that they know about his new form and they for some reason aren’t acting weird about it, so he’s likely just playing along to make sure nobody gets overly concerned. It just seems like something he’d do. Or maybe I’m just grasping at the angst straws, idk.

OMEGA IS FIXED BY THE WAY I DO NOT WISH TO GLOSS OVER THAT FACT. THE BOY IS BACK!! THE ROBO BOYO IS BACK!!! I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE ALL THE CRIMES HE’LL BE ABLE TO COMMIT ONCE TAILS GETS THOSE ROCKET LAUNCHERS WORKING AGAIN HEHEHEEE

Also let’s not gloss over how Omega doesn’t care that Sonic mauled him to death. Let’s not gloss over the fact that Omega clearly cares for the others because of his ignorance to Sonic’s rampage.

Yeah if you couldn’t already tell I’m a sucker for this kinda stuff-

Uhhhhh I don’t really have much else to say, honestly. Maybe I will later, but right now I’m on a time crunch so I gotta keep this all pretty concise. Thank you so so much for reading all the way through, I know this was a really really long one. And again, thanks to Super Emeralds for being able to last this long and not losing motivation for the comic. I know I would’ve given up after just 5 pages! (I actually tried to make a comic of sorts and I literally gave up after 5 pages I am not kidding.)

Aight I gotta go now bye bye!! 👋

ur gonna have a field day in 2-3 weeks depending on when u decide to go on rampage haha

[bookinit02]

HAVEN OH MY GOSH THE NEW EPISODE!!!!!! I SCREAMED. I made a bunch of very insane notes and I thought I'd gift them to you. as a treat:

fucking COLD

BABY WILL AND MIKE GOT ME SOBBINGGG

So curious as to what's going on with Will and Vecna, also Will tell your boyfriend!!! Come on!!! crazy together!!! (also MIKE tell your boyfriend actually. y'all need to talk about the messed up Vecna stuff!!! that's the whole idea!!!)

OH FUCK OH NO MAX AND LUCAS. OH NO. OH NO I AM SO SAD. OH NO. I AM CRYING. WHYYYYY

NANCY ROBIN ERICA TEAM UP!!! Erica gets friends and mentors as she SHOULD and I love her

WINGWOMAN NANCY!! Hasn't even been come out to yet and is already the wingwoman of all time. We love to see it. I love her.

RONANCE CRUMBS???????

THAT JANCY BREAKUP WAS THE MOST HEARTBREAKING THING I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME. I AM CRYING. SOBBING. BUT IT WAS SO GOOD

What does Karen Wheeler KNOW

Mike and Holly are the cutest little sibling babies and I love them so much. They are my favourite and Holly is adorable and deserves the world.

NANCY AND MIKE ARE ALSO THE CUTEST SIBLINGS. QUALITY WHEELER FAMILY CONTENT RIGHT HERE. I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH.

OHHH MIKE JUST CAME OUT. OH HONEY. NANCY YOU ARE THE BEST BIG SISTER I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

THE JONATHAN AND WILL MIKE AND NANCY PARALLELS IM-

THE MIKE AND NANCY SCENE AS A WHOLE. THAT IS LITERALLY MY FAVOURITE SCENE SO FAR. THAT WAS SO GOOD. READING THAT IN THE FIC IS GOING TO BREAK MY HEART EVEN MORE. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Oh Mike. I love you so much. you and will need to TELL EACH OTHER THINGS. PLEASE.

All in all amazing episode, I loved it and it was sad and happy and funny and destroyed me like six times but it's WORTH IT!!!! I'm excited for the chapters of the fic!!!

ok i hope it’s ok that i waited a few days to answer this—i didn’t want to spoil it for anyone!!

first of all YES i was so fucking proud of myself for that line😭 such a banger . i literally left it there for like 2 days without writing anything else bc i was like how tf do i follow that😭😭

MIWIIII💗💗💗😭 BABY MIWIIIIII💗🫶🏻😭

yes!! i am also super excited to develop the will & vecna storyline. and listen they’ve been miscommunicating for like 2 seasons now, ofc they’re gonna keep going (for a little bit at least😉)

yeah honestly i cried writing that scene☹️ they make me so . So.

yes!!! i need some sort of girl power moment in s5 so badly (but Not in that cringy forced way that shows do sometimes if u know what i mean😭)

nancy is The wingwoman of all time actually. she treats it as a matter of life and death. it is a one-woman competition and she is NOT losing.

ronance crumbs… perhaps… hehe :)

yeah listen it broke My heart too and i was SO split on whether to do it or not . but i think it’s the most realistic option and they definitely have things they need to work out!! i’m honestly very very interested to see what the writers do with the love triangle storyline bc this has definitely been the most challenging plot to write so far. but i am enjoying the challenge :)

as for what karen knows… we’ll have to find out👀

I AGREE😭😭💗 HOLLY IS SO UNDERRATED WE NEED MORE OF HER SO BADLY!!!

nancy and mike as well. just more wheeler family dynamics all across the board bc i am Obsessed with them!!

yeah that scene was very emotional to write😭😭 he’s come so far and i’m so proud of him!! (is the one actively writing his character arc)

love me a good parallel🫡🫡

THANK YOU THAT’S ONE OF MY FAVORITE SCENES AS WELL💗💗💗 and yes i’m so excited to write the fic version!!

i’m so glad you liked this episode, thank you SO much for this comment! i don’t get as many comments on my scripts (understandably) as i do on my fic, but i really appreciate when people give me feedback :) i’m so happy that you’re enjoying them!

[dreamywriterinthedark]

Losing you pt III: Picking up the pieces

Pairing: Spencer x Reader

Category: angst, slight fluff.

Resume: Reader struggles to get over a traumatic experience and isolates themselves. They have an outburst, Spencer finds them in the middle of it and offers a helping hand.

Trigger warnings: death, blood, trauma, anger issues, alcohol (please let me know of something was forgotten)

A/N: I don’t know how I feel about this series. Let me know if you like it or what you would like to see. This is what would’ve happened if Linda Barnes was leader of the team. I’m guessing this is a bit of homage to Elle who deserved better. I would love to hear your feedback and whether you want a fourth part. Thanks <3

You slipped off your blind fold, your calmness was interrupted by the broad figure in front of your eyes. The hooded man slowly made his way towards you.

“Please, don’t kill me!” you screamed at the top of your lungs. He looked at you with such viciousness as if he was planning all the horrendous things he was going to do to you in his head. You rose up panting from another hostile episode slapping the light switch of the lamp on your nightstand.

You were on your bed completely exhausted yet wide awake. You could not allow yourself to sleep because every time you did you woke up in sweats due hallucinations and nightmares. You could not differentiate what was real and what was an illusion anymore. You walked to your kitchen pouring yourself a glass of water, your hands were so shaky you dropped the glass and flenched at the sound. By trying to pick up the pieces you cut your hand, the sight of blood on your hands brought you back to that night when you almost died and your boss hardly bat an eye.

Your vision was getting blurred whether it was your brain making you depersonalise or your tears clouding your view you couldn’t tell. You were uncontrollably sobbing. That’s when it hit you, you needed help. You hated yourself for it, it flet like you were a burden. However, you felt guilt creep in furthermore when you saw your phone light up with all the texts, all the calls you ignored making the team even more worried. You swiped the notification from your 13 missed calls making your phone call Spencer. You felt a rush go through your vein, a rush to abort whatever mission you were on, the rush to flight. The kind of rush that could’ve saved your life.

After two rings you hung up feeling stupid, now wondering if you woke him up for nothing. You slammed your phone on your kitchen counter. The anger levels spiking, overtaking the small amount of rational thoughts in your head. You sighed running your hands through your hair. Completely numb, more and more glass shattered on the floor. Once the energy was in too limited quantity in your body. You grabbed a bottle of wine chugging from it in your bathtub like a child trying to avoid family gatherings. You cried until you were too dehydrated to keep the tears flowing, until your eyes were swollen.

The ring of your doorbell caught your attention. Or was it another cruel hallucination ? You were going to ignore it until you heard it be rung once more. You checked who it was through the lense.

“Shit,” you swore, it was Spencer.

“Open the door, Y/n. I know you’re here.” you rolled your eyes at Spencer’s request your back pressed against the cold steel.

“I’m a mess.” you responded trying to dissuade him to come in.

“Your mess is my mess. I’m your home, remember ?”

You smiled detaching yourself from the door unlocking it. He pressed the handle letting his weight make the door shift open. You were brushing with a broom the glass pieces to the side to allow him to circulate safely in your apartment. He saw the blood on your floor, the bandage on your hand; he solved the puzzle himself. You turned to him, no words were needed, he saw the look in your eyes. He cupped the back of your head with one of his hands and wrapped his arm around your torso carefully, gently as if you were as fragile as fine china. You wrapped your arms around his waist breathing in his scent. He pulled away, both hands at the side of your head.

“I want to be that person you can tell anything to. The good and the bad.”

You looked up at him. “Barnes is considering suspending me because I did not follow his orders. Spencer, I had no choice…” he could hear your heart break in your voice.

“She’s not allowed to do this.” He informed you.

“She’s not ?” He nodded in response.

“She violated protocole in the first place by using governmental fund for a case too personal to him. He got his proof only by putting you in a position of danger when she needed it to act. Like you said you had no other choice. I’ve done it before, I was never reprimanded me.”

“Yeah cause you’re a man. If a man kills a rapist, he’s a hero but if a woman does it, she’s a cold-blooded crazy murderer. Gosh, I miss Emily.”

“Talk about double standards.” Spencer said, “You know, she misses you too, we all do.”

“I doubt it, honestly. I was so determined to get her validation it almost cost me my life. Maybe I should just let her know how I feel.”

“Yeah, you definitely should.”

“But what am I even gonna say to her ? What if she’s right ? What if I’m actually delusional or dangerous ?”

“Hey, hey, Y/n. Slow down.”

“Please talk some sense to me. It’s like I’m going out of my mind!”

“It wasn’t your fault. It was legitimate defence. I saw it, the whole team saw it and has your back.” he reassured you, his face closer to yours.

“Should I write her a-“

“No, you’re not doing anything tonight.” He interrupted you. “Just go take a shower then we can talk about it. Sounds good ?” you nodded to respond to him which he, as usual didn’t mind even after going on an endless monologue.

While you were in the shower, he cleaned up the mess your anger made. Once you were done, you sat down on your matcha green sofa watching the sunrise. “It’s already 4am ?! I’m so sorry for keeping you awake.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m a night owl anyways so it’s nothing out of the ordinary. Did you know that falling asleep late is linked with a high IQ ?” he said making his way to you with two cups of tea.

“Then I must be a genius.” you answered half jokingly. “Oh thank you.” you took hold of the warm but not steamy cup in your hands. You remembered Spencer once telling you that the reason why so many dislike tea is because they think it tastes like dirt, it’s not supposed taste like that, see, if the water is burning hot it’s going to burn the leaves and speed the infusion process making it too concentrated. You turned to look at him, he was already looking.

“Sometimes I wonder how you can put up with me.”

“Because I love you.” He never failed to remind you how much he loves you even especially on your worst days. You explained what had been going on, he debunked and dismantled every question pending in you head, every lie your brain told you. It felt like a weight was lifted off your shoulders. For the first time in a while, you felt safe in your own home. Instead of your alarm clock, the sound of the birds were ringing in you ears. You both agreed to go talk to Barnes to solve whatever the problem was that morning. “I’m not going down without a fight, especially not when it comes to that bitch!” Spencer boldly commented to your surprise. You weren’t healed just yet but at least you got out and socialised. At least you opened up to someone you could trust.

You stepped out of the elevator one hand holding coffee, the other holding your boyfriend’s hand. Everyone walked up to you giving you a hug and greeting you. Penelope was so enthusiastic it was overwhelming.

“Long time no see,” commented Luke. “You too,” you hugged him back.

“What happened to your hand ?” asked JJ.

“I dropped a glass.” you nervously responded, you were telling the truth…at least part of it.

“Welcome back!” said Tara squeezing an embrace as well.

“Oh I don’t know about that just yet.” you said to her.

“We need to talk to Barnes first.” added Spencer.

“Whatever happens, we’re with you, Y/n” said Garcia. The others agreed, it felt good to be supported, so much you regret isolating yourself for so long.

Silence made its way into a conversation that was once filled by joy. You threw your coffee in the trash can before turning your body towards his office. Spencer, resting his hand on your back, asked “Are you ready, darling ?” You took in a deep breath sharply, nodding your head yes without taking your gaze off the door.

[cherryblossomflowers]

a dean winchester where reader is his girlfriend and is pregnant and as dean is dieing she tells dean he's going to be a father and he tells her that he will aways be watching over her and she gives birth to a girl she name Deanna and she continues the life hunting life with sam.

Our Little Girl

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Summary: While Dean is laying on his death bed, YN reveals to him her pregnancy. After his death, YN and Sam continue the hunter lifestyle with Deanna, YN and Dean's daughter.

Warnings: Blood, Death, Pregnancy, Anxiety

A/N: Asks are back (and always open)! Sorry it's been so long, but I hope this makes up for it. Feedback is greatly appreciated! Enjoy!

Dean: 38 YN: 35 Sam: 34

***ASK OPEN****

LET ME KNOW IF YOU’D LIKE TO BE TAGGED*

Cherry Blossom Asks Masterlist

"Oh my gosh," YN breathed as she covered her mouth, "I can't believe it.

"She had been feeling poorly all morning: nausea, mood swings, and exhaustion. Dean had suggested for her to stay home and sleep it off while he and Sam go on a hunt. She agreed and went back to bed.

While they were gone, however, YN went to the store and picked up a pregnancy test. She had a feeling that she didn't have a regular stomach bug, and she just wanted to check.

When she got home, she went straight to the bathroom and read the directions on the box. She took the test, set it on the counter, and sat in silence for 3 minutes while it processed. Her leg bounced rapidly on the ground while her anxiety made her mind race.

After the 3 minutes were up, she picked up the pregnancy test and gasped.

"I'm pregnant," she whispered as a tear rolled down her face, "I-I'm going to be a mom."

Suddenly she heard the Bunker door slam open. She knew she had to tell Dean the news immediately. And whether or not he'd be okay with it, she knew she'd be thrilled about starting a family.

YN ran out of the bathroom and down the hallway towards the library, "Sam! Dean! I have news!"

But when she got to the library, her heart dropped.

Dean was leaning against Sam, his hand pushing against his abdomen and he was covered in blood. Sam was trying to help his brother move quickly through the Bunker.

"YN, help me!" Sam yelled out.

She rushed over and helped hold Dean up, "What in the world happened?"

"Dean was stabbed by a vampire. We got here as fast as we could," he explained.

"Why didn't you go to the hospital?"

"He wouldn't let me. He said we had to get back here to you."

Sam kicked Dean's bedroom door open and he and YN helped him lay down on the bed. Dean groaned as he fell against the bed, his hand still pushing down on his abdomen.

"Babe, why didn't you just go to the hospital?" YN asked Dean.

Dean coughed as blood started to fill his mouth, "I-I had to...c-come see y-you."

She turned to Sam, "You could've called me and I would've met you at the hospital!"

Dean grabbed her arm with the hand not covering his abdomen, "N-no. Didn't...didn't w-want to risk it."

"Risk what?" she said through tears.

He stared at her, "I-I didn't want...to d-die without s-seeing you...one l-last time."

She suddenly remembered the item in her hand, "Dean, there's something I need to tell you."

"W-what?" he coughed up more blood.

YN held up the pregnancy test, "You're going to be a father, Dean."

Dean stared at her in shock, "Y-you're pregnant?"

She wiped her tears away and nodded, "Yeah. I had a feeling that the nausea wasn't from something I ate."

Dean sighed, "You're g-going to be...an amazing m-mother, YN."

"You can't die, Dean. I can't raise this baby alone," she laid a hand on his cheek.

"Y-you won't be alone...I-I'll always be w-with you," he smiled, "I'll w-watch over you...and the b-baby."

YN glanced at Sam, "There has to be something we can do."

Sam shook his head as a tear fell down his face, "There's nothing."

Dean squeezed YN's arm, "N-no, it's okay...it's b-better this way."

YN started to sob, "But Dean..."

"I love you, YN," he took a shallow breath, "I'll...always...love...you..."

She watched his eyes fall and the breath leave his lips. A gasped escaped her lips as she watched the love of her life slip away. She looked at Sam and saw he was crying as well.

She stood from the bed and ran over to Sam. She wrapped her arms around him and sobbed into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and held her as she cried.

"H-he's gone, Sammy," she whispered.

"I know," Sam sighed.

She looked up at him, "What are we going to do?"

Sam looked at Dean then at YN, "Dean would want us to keep living. So that's what we're going to do."

That evening, Sam and YN gave Dean a hunter's funeral. They stayed outside until the fire went out completely and even a while after that.

After a few hours, the two walked inside the Bunker. Neither of them knew what to do. They sat down in the library and silently sulked.

At one point, YN looked down at her stomach and laid a hand on it, "Sam, how am I going to raise this baby without Dean?"

"Well, you have me. And I'll help you as much as I can," said Sam.

She smiled at him, "Thanks, Sam."

A few years later, YN pushes open the front door to the bunker. She groans as she runs down the steps and tosses her duffle bag on the ground.

"I'm back!" she yelled as she walked into the library.

When she heard small footsteps running down the hallway, she couldn't help the smile that appeared on her face.

Her daughter ran into the library, "Mommy's home!"

YN bent down and scooped her daughter into her arms, "Hi, baby girl. Did you have fun with Uncle Sammy?"

"We had lots and lots of fun. We played house and he did my hair and I did his hair and we play chef-"

"Playing chef and setting the oven on fire are two completely different things," Sam said as he walked into the library.

YN winced, "Was it bad?"

Sam shook his head, "Nothing I couldn't handle. How was the hunt?"

"Salt and burn. Easy as pie," YN chuckled.

Her daughter gasped, "Oh, Mommy, we should have some pie!"

Sam rolled his eyes, "Wow, that's the most Dean statement I've ever heard from her."

YN smiled, "She gets more and more like her father every day," she looked at her daughter, "I'll make you a deal, honey. I know you've been working on your spelling lately. If you can spell your name to me and Sammy, I'll make pie," she set her back on the ground.

Her daughter scoffed, "That's so easy. D-E-A-N-N-A, Deanna!"

"That's right! My smart little girl," YN bent down and kissed her cheek, "What kind of pie would you like?"

"What was Daddy's favorite?"

"Apple pie, especially my apple pie."

"Then apple pie it is! Can I help?"

YN looked up at Sam, "Do you have the fire extinguisher ready?"

Sam chuckled, "Yeah. It's somewhere in the kitchen."

YN took Deanna's hand, "Sammy's going to help, too, Dea."

"But Uncle Sammy can't cook," Deanna mumbled.

"Hey, I can cook just fine," Sam faked offense.

Deanna rolled her eyes, "Burnt mac & cheese isn't fine, Sammy."

YN laughed, "She's a mini Dean all right."

--------------------

Masterlist

My Cherry Blossoms

@mlovesstories @smollestbean-2 @kitwithnokat

@idksupernatural @desiredposion @thevelvetseries @let-me-luve-you

@obsessedwithfandomsx @mangueweaschester @starchildwild @deans-baby-momma

@spnbaby-67 @unicornmadness2444

@emery--nicole--morrison @spnfamily-j2 @akshi8278 @avocadogirl216

@imthedoctorlove @wecantgiggleitsafandom

[harmonization]

Ao3 tag game

Thanks @creamypudding for tagging me! 🙌

1. How many works do you have on AO3? As of today, the official count is 69 (lol) but some of these entries are collections comprised of multiple drabbles/ficlets.

2. What is your total AO3 word count? Right now it’s at 369,836!

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? 18 listed so far. Most common ones are FFVII, True Blood, Daiya No Ace, FFXV and Bleach with the rest kind of being one-off fandoms where I fulfilled one-time fic requests for friends etc.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? spyglass in reverse - 1,723 kudos it rains ashes on golgotha - 1,667 kudos like hawks over eden - 1,376 kudos pas de deux in print - 1,124 kudos a chronicle of the sun - 1,024 kudos

All of the above fics are Daiya No Ace except for Golgotha, which is FFVII.

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not? ALWAYS. Every. Single. One, without fail. I feel awful if I don’t - these readers literally took time out of their day to let me know what they thought of my work. Literally the least I could do is to show my gratitude and appreciation for their feedback. (I always take the extra step and address everything that their comment mentions, too, just to show that I care about / am actually absorbing what they’re saying and it’s not some throwaway compliment that I don’t care about).

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? Heartbeat (Bleach). It’s my only fic with character death I think haha.

7. Do you ever write crossovers? Nah, it’s too much for my brain to handle. It’s the same reason why I can’t write smut involving more than two people at once - keeping track of two people’s body parts is already hard enough, once you get to three and above it’s a nightmare 😂

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic? Not like, flame (is that term still used? 😂 I’m old af) or trolling kinda hate, but I’ve had my share of pretty severe criticisms. I’ve had someone say my work was cringe. Someone else has mentioned my work was unreadable 😢

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I do! So far I’ve only written (cis) M/M smut, because I’m not too confident writing anything else (including het lol) just yet - I’ll need to build my skills on those eventually though. and I like writing frottage/masturbation/mutual masturbation the most, although I’ve written pretty standard anal as well.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of, but this is the Internet, so anything’s possible 😬

11. Have you ever co-written a fic before? I tried once, with an IRL friend, and we never finished it. I’d definitely like to collab with a fellow writer on a project one day though! That sounds super fun!

12. What’s your all-time favourite ship? Genesis/Sephiroth (FFVII), without question. They’re literally the only ship that I still think about at least once a day every day for years now. I’ve yet to write any fic for them, but I still think about them a lot to this day ❤

13. What was the first fandom you wrote for? Digimon! Digimon was the first fandom I ever read fic in too, haha.

14. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written? Oh gosh, it’s kinda hard to say. As of now, it’s probably a tie between: it rains ashes on golgotha (FFVII) he walked the bethsaida parable (FFXV) ticking time bomb in their chests (Ace Attorney)

These are the fics I consider my “giants” - the long novella-length oneshots that took a lot of effort, blood, sweat, tears and love!

This was a fun ask meme! I won’t tag anyone (since I have way too many writer friends and I don’t want anyone to miss out) so if you see this post, consider yourself tagged :)

[hecohansen31]

To Kill a King

Ivar+Reader (Vikings Era)

The Betrayed Ruler:

He could not steal my might And it seems to be I have found a way…

“To Kill A King” by Hungry Lucy

First Chapter (1)

Second Chapter (2)

Third Chapter (3)

Fourth Chapter (4)

(A/N): Hello there, lovelies!

This is low key a chapter I am very... nervous about...

Lately I have been extremely EXTREMELY nervous about my writing, and I am very very very worried of how you’ll perceve this chapter, because I do hope that it won’t disappoint the big hype around it.

I really hope you’ll like my writing choices, and if you don’t, do let me know being the sweetest and gentlest because I am a shy and sad baby lately.

But please remember: feedback is always welcomed by writers, because it makes our heart flutter and it makes our fingers write faster.

Hope you’ll like this!

Have a nice reading!

SUMMARY:  Not only you are found with an accusation over your head, but soon everything that you craddled close to your heart in a foreign land is going to be put to the test, and not everything might be as you truly thought it was.

WORDS: 15 K

WARNINGS: Arranged Marriage, Mention of Domestical Abuse and Rape, Violence (Strong Themes), Sexual Harassment, Slavery, Historically inaccurate, Blood and Period.

Sunlight creeped through the tent, but for you it could have still been nighttime.

Your mind had stopped working since you had entered your tent, the guards sealing you inside, alongside Caryn and Angelika, and you had simply set yourself fall on the bed, where you still were.

You hadn’t been able to focus on much else than replaying the last conversation with Ivar you had had before you had been sent away by him, as you tried to find a loophole through it.

But every time you came close to it, the pain of not having been believed shot through you as a burning hot flame.

You knew that he had done what any rational man could have done.

But you believed…

… what did you truly believe?

That he would have finally and truly chosen you?

What a stupid girl.

Maybe Angelika was right.

She had been running up and down the perimeter of the tent, to the point that you were sure that her shoes had burned a trail in its floor, as she lout out huff loud, being shut up by an also lost Caryn.

She had joined you a bit later than Angelika, probably because Ivar had wanted her opinion before he saw you, but you weren’t sure.

You hadn’t asked her, stuck in your thoughts.

“… we should run” uttered Angelika, as she came to a halt in her walk “… we should definitely run”.

“Do you expect the guards to simply lets us pass” replied hastily Caryn, shooting her an annoyed look, and Angelika replied with an even harsher one.

“… no, I don’t think it’ll be that easy, but we can distract them, grab a horse…” she tried to mumble.

“It wouldn’t work” you uttered surprising them both, as you raised your head to meet their faces and you simply shook your head, to assure what you had just said “… we wouldn’t get far enough and we wouldn’t certainly save our reputation”.

“I know this might surprise you, princess…” scoffed loudly Angelika “… but right now your reputation isn’t the best”.

“And running away would just worsen it” using that tight tone took quite some energy from you and almost as if she realized it, Caryn moved to grab you a bit of water, for which you were thankful.

“Then what is the plan?” asked Angelika, unable to stay put, which didn’t help you easing up the headache you had been having “… don’t tell me that you have been just moping about that savage not believing you?”.

Gosh, you honestly hoped she could be just less smart.

“The plan is that we repeat our confession, we talk about it calmly and lightly and we don’t give them an option to doubt us” you explained, trying to keep your tone calm.

“… that won’t be very effective” mumbled tightly Angelika, and you couldn’t deny that it was true.

Even Caryn didn’t look quite convinced but tried her best to still her worry.

“We can’t do much” you stated, the only truth “… running isn’t an option, we’d be found immediately, this is their territory and we wouldn’t last a single day”.

“So, all we can do is pray” mumbled pessimistically Caryn.

“And cover our own asses” cursed loudly Angelika “… this is the time, princess, to set up our versions”.

“What do you mean?” asked her Caryn, confused.

“That we indeed cover our asses” you explained, mimicking Angelika’s words, as she turned to you shocked “… see if we have anything that can incriminate us further, poison, letters and…”.

Weapons.

Gosh, what would have they thought if they had found the knife in your stuff.

It wouldn’t have played any favor towards you.

But honestly, nothing seemed to do so.

You wouldn’t have been certainly sent to death, at least not with bishop Heahmund in the camping, since he would have reported the news to your father, and it’d have been a way to properly start a war.

But what worried you was that you might be either rejected as a wife, thrown away.

And although at first the thought of this wouldn’t have weighted on you, since you had actually been desiring the convent life, now…

… now that you knew life outside of the castle walls, you just… you just didn’t know.

But worst of all… if you were ever rejected… and thrown back to your father…

… he wouldn’t have been happy.

And it would have been as if Ivar, himself, signing a death sentence for you.

Even more when you thought that, although you might not die, Ivar might take it out on Angelika and Caryn.

And you couldn’t let that happen.

“I’ll take all the blame, if things fall down” you explained softly, as you looked at them in the eyes “… if they ask, you didn’t have any involvement in this, understand me?”.

“Why?” asked Angelika, confused “… are you aiming to gain the ‘saint’ title?”.

Although her tone was biting, it wasn’t as poisonous as usual.

And she looked honestly worried.

You still were surprised by the fact that she hadn’t sided against you, after the poisoning plan had been revealed, instead staying with.

Something which had made you realize that maybe she wasn’t so tough.

“… my princess, don’t you think… it is too rushed” suggested Caryn, honestly surprised.

Something similar to guilt shining in her eyes, but you simply ducked your head away from her wandering and worried gaze.

“If anything happens to you, I won’t stop feeling guilty, believe me” you promised, even sending a look at Angelika, who had lowered her eyes, ashamed “… so don’t open your mouths”.

Suddenly the tent was open, and a guard appeared, signaling to you that Ivar was finally ready to listen your excuses and wanted to see you and Caryn.

You weren’t able to know whether it was a good thing, because your mind went finally blank, or bad, since you weren’t also able to come up with a plan.

You nodded, but as you were moving, Angelika gripped your hand, stopping you and making you turn around.

Caryn moved forward and told the guard to wait a few minutes with steely eyes, as they left and gave you the privacy to talk with Angelika.

“I know what you are feeling…” she whispered, trying not to be heard by the guard, although they didn’t speak your language “… alone and left behind, that’s what I felt in the wood… that was what I have felt each moment in my life”.

You were suddenly surprised by the loneliness you felt in her eyes, but she let you feel it just for a few minutes, before her grip onto your wrist became more intense, making you lose your focus.

“… nobody had ever come for me, like you did, princess, when the Vikings came… my family… my own fiancée left me behind…” this time your title wasn’t stained with any sarcasm “… and for that I’ll be for ever grateful to you for coming for me, so please know that whatever will be the verdict… I’ll stick by your side”.

You were surprised by her sudden change of loyalty, but you couldn’t stand further, knowing that every wasted minute might have been a moment of doubt for Ivar.

But you’d have to talk more with Angelika, after all this was over.

“Thank you, Angelika” you replied to her, and turned but stopped as she uttered softly.

“I was wrong about what I said when we first met…” she mumbled, almost biting the words and chewing on them “… you might change him”.

“I hope so”.

And you went out of the tent, the dress of the previous night sticking to your body for the cold sweat you had on your body because of the anxious feeling that tightened your chest.

But you decided, after Angelika’s words, that you wouldn’t have simply bowed your head.

You had stood up to him already, now you had to do it again.

If not for yourself, definitely for the people around you.

The ones who believed in you.

The guards pushed you, as you and Caryn were grabbed by an arm each to be led.

You protested at the uncomfortable gesture the guards simply looked at you with a wolfish grin.

“… are you going to faint, again, princess?” sneered at you one, as the other, that was grabbing onto your arm, lightly pulled again, making you almost trip on your own feet.

“You won’t treat me like that, I am your princess” because if last time you had let them do what they wanted with you, without protesting, you weren’t going to let them rule your life again.

“… I don’t think that you’ll be our princess for much longer” muttered the one who had pushed you, and you turned to him, standing straighter as you breathed out to calm yourself and then uttered.

“That might be true, but that is yet to be proved” you explained “… and I am still a princess of an English kingdom, so the next time you’ll address me as that. And believe me, if you don’t, I’ll make sure you know how much I am annoyed with your arrogance”.

And that was enough for your journey to be a silent one, although you could already see where it was aimed: Ivar’s personal study.

So, you were surprised as you entered it, finding Ivar and Hvitserk, the former sat down as he examined various piece of papers and the latter on his side, a mix of optimism and unease in his eyes, almost as if he hadn’t wanted to be there.

And you couldn’t blame him.

The guards left you and you didn’t forget to thank them with a quick look.

Enough to see them shiver lightly as they turned.

“Sit down, you two” ordered Ivar, although an enigmatic smirk grazed his figure.

But his tone was stern and you clutched tightly your hands in your lap, lowering your eyes, because, although you would have tried everything you could to save yourself, you wouldn’t have given Ivar any possibility to doubt you.

“… how do you plead” he asked you, as he sent a look on your way, making you raise your head to meet his eyes.

To make him understand that not only you weren’t afraid.

But you weren’t afraid because you had nothing to hide.

You were speaking the truth.

“I didn’t poison you, Ivar” you spoke, and his smirk became tight and you were sure he’d protest or…

“I believe you”.

You choked on your breath, as you raised an eyebrow at him.

“… what?” you asked, unsure if you had heard right or not.

“I do know for sure that you didn’t try to poison me” he explained to you “I know it was Vaghnar who did, and it was Harald and Halfdan who told him to”.

“How…?” you felt like you weren’t able to let out of the anxiety and hurt you had been harboring for the entire night, as if it was too good to be real.

“Hvitserk, a few days ago, told me that Halfdan had approached you, and we have been thinking that they would have certainly tried to undermine you or put you against me, even more after everything that has happened at the wedding…” you hadn’t considered it honestly “… I knew he’d be trying something against me, using you, and I thought of giving him a slight push… didn’t I, Caryn?”.

And Caryn, beside you, shivered at that tone, as you turned to her, worried.

But she didn’t spare you a single look, as she instead stood straighter in her seat, her eyes on her lap.

“I was asked to take care of it” she asked, as her words seemed to pain her, and you couldn’t understand truly what was going on.

Because if you did it, it would have maybe hurt you more than the thought of Ivar not believing you.

“Ex…excuse me?”.

“I made a deal with Ivar” she didn’t look proud of it, in the slightest “… I should have… kept an eye on Vaghnar, he was my owner, I had heard of him… planning with Harald and… Ivar came to me. He told me that he’d give me freedom again”.

“I offered her a deal. Be my spy, report me everything and be a free woman or just stay with Vaghnar”.

And it was obvious what she had chosen.

She had spied on you, for him.

But it also meant that she could testify that you had never intended to poison Ivar.

“Then why didn’t you defend me?” you asked softly, your voice almost unable to leave the cavern of your voice “… back in the Great Hall”.

Because anger was everything that you could feel.

“I would have publicly accused Halfdan and Harald of having lied, without any proof other than a slave’s opinion” he explained as if it was the most normal thing ever “… I needed to show that I wasn’t questioning them, to let them think that they had won and come back stronger.

“And you let me squander in my tent with the sureness of something horrible happening” you uttered loudly, surprising Ivar and Caryn, who flinched beside you and before you knew it you had raised yourself, hitting Ivar on the shoulder, with you open palm.

He didn’t seem in the slightest fazed by it and as you came back from anger, you felt your hand pulsing painfully, because of the hit.

“Feeling better?” asked Ivar, as he shot you an intense look.

And you couldn’t help but be surprised by his calm reaction.

You had expected him to reply with violence, and although you had been too numb to fear him, you couldn’t deny that his unfazed expression surprised you.

“Yes”.

“I am glad, because I need that brilliant mind of yours to focus on a plan to explain why you didn’t poison me, without insulting Halfdan and Harald. A plan that could possibly get them away… far away from us”.

Your brain had officially shut down.

First Ivar let you be treated awfully and think the worst and now he wanted you there, even complimenting you.

You honestly didn’t know what more would happen.

Would Hvitserk reveal himself to be a hidden catholic?

Because after Caryn’s reveal, everything was possible to your eyes.

“… I don’t… I can’t think straight” you explained “… I have had just too much emotions for one day”.

“Focus on one thing at the time” suggested Hvitserk, coming closer to you, and you tried not to think about the fact that he had also been in in this plan, against you.

The worst was that the sole one who had been loyal to you was Angelika.

And you tried, desperately, pushing away any thoughts as you tried to focus on the matter.

Halfdan had accused you, hence denying the evidence would have simply pushed the Ragnarssons in worse problems than the ones they were already in, and you couldn’t simply reveal Caryn’s role, again because it would have showed that the sons of Ragnar didn’t trust them.

You couldn’t simply deny the truth.

… but what if you didn’t.

“I have an idea”.

And Ivar’s mouth opened in a full smirk, as he nodded your head to invite you to talk.

“I knew that you wouldn’t disappoint me”.

---

You couldn’t deny that you were suddenly anxious again due to the whispers that were uttered as you walked in the Great Hall, beside Ivar, a few guards trailing after you as the doors closed behind you, signaling silence.

In the end, everyone was curious to know what would have been your destiny.

You were guided to sit down beside Ivar, as Bjorn and Ubbe came closer to Ivar, and the latter sent you a light look as if to check if you had intention to attempt to kill another son of Ragnar.

Which you would have gladly, if he kept looking at you up and down.

“Brother, are you sure?” asked Bjorn as he leaned down to face Ivar, who simply nodded his head, a light and easy expression on his face, unlike your anxious one, which you used to cover your annoyance and anger at being used as a pawn by Ivar.

But you should have expected that.

But you would have never ever seen it coming from Caryn

“… well then communicate your decision to our people” ordered Bjorn and Ivar shared a small look with you, almost to check if you were ready, and you nodded, sure you wouldn’t have ever been ready.

“My army” he uttered, but he didn’t need to catch anybody’s attention, since it was already on him.

And you.

“My wife has been accused of having tried to poison me” he told them, as he kept his eyes on everyone of them “… and that is indeed true”.

You had foreseen the reaction it’d cast on the army, but the violence of it still choked the breath in your lungs as war screams and harsh glares were sent to you, in words you didn’t understand, but knew were insults, from the tone.

“But…” he spoke loudly, overcoming their combined voices “… she did it behind my orders”.

And again, silence fell, and you lightly raised your head, breathing softly.

“… I have known for quite some time that Vaghnar had been trying to attempt to murder me, but I didn’t know when and where it’d happen” he explained calmly.

You knew that the entire thing wouldn’t have worked if Ivar hadn’t acted that way.

That self-assured and calm way that you wished you owned.

And made you lightly blush.

“So, I asked my very brave and blessed wife…” he turned to you with a well-faked lovesick smile, that you returned with your best conviction “… to set up a meeting to Vaghnar, to convince him to collaborate again me and to poison me”.

Both Halfdan and Harald, who stood right in the front row, paled.

“That’s why she sent her own slave to set up a meeting and that is why Halfdan was also involved, to make the story more believable…” and he turned to a scared Halfdan “… thank you, for being truthful when needed, I do believe that now I can trust you, fully”.

It was obviously sarcastic and a secret threat to anyone who knew how things had gone and you joined in Ivar’s gaze at the two brothers, as you tried to let them know, that you knew what they had done.

And you wouldn’t forgive them.

“So, in order to celebrate this loyalty and to prove our strength, we’ll have a feast, in honor of the gods and…” he neared his look at Halfdan “… Halfdan! Since he’ll be leaving us for the Mediterranean, alongside my brother Bjorn”.

Bjorn’s raised his fist as Halfdan’s face presented the horror of what Ivar had just sentenced him.

Exile.

And as much as you tried to feel pity for him, you couldn’t.

He had tried to gain your loyalty, just to use it for his own purposes.

“The feast will be in five days” proclaimed Ivar, before sitting beside you, as he joined your hands together over the table, pushing them towards his lips as he kissed your knuckle “… to love and loyalty!”.

To your heart breaking and your life crumpling apart.

---

As you approached your tent, you felt Hvitserk on your tail, but you just rushed in, coming face to face with a guilty Caryn, who tried to speak up, but you shut her up quickly with a gesture of your hand.

“I don’t blame you for your choices, you have a family” as you did, and that was why you understood her position.

It was yours.

But you couldn’t simply push down and away the anger.

And you didn’t want to push it onto Caryn.

“I wanted to…”.

“Caryn, I get it” and you hoped your eyes conveyed it “… but right now… I don’t have the energy to face you”.

She seemed disappointed, almost heartbroken and again… that… that part of you that was feeling betrayed, just wanted nothing more than hurt her.

But you just pushed past her, moving to your trunks, glad that they hadn’t been searched, as you tried to release the reality of worry you had lived till you had confronted Ivar.

You pushed your nails in your palms as you thought again about the humiliation Ivar had put you through.

Hvitserk came in front of you, looking at you over your trunks, as you instead grabbed the first pair of pants and shirts you found, intending to exercise the adrenaline strike in your body, which ached to rest but you felt unable to, till at least you let out some anger.

“Where are you going?” asked confused Hvitserk, as he tried to put a hand over yours, but you simply slapped it away.

“To train” you muttered “Like I do each day”.

“I don’t think that is wise” he replied, tension appearing in his eyes, as you held his gaze.

“I don’t think that is wise standing in my way right now” you muttered slowly, anger pointing out each word.

“You shouldn’t…” he tried to speak, but you didn’t seem in the slightest swayed, as you crossed your arms under your chest to show him that you would have denied anything that he would have said.

“What I need right now is to punch something, and I either punch you or you  me get to my training” and you were convincing enough that Hvitserk moved away, exiting the tent with a huff.

And you dressed up quickly as you exited alone, collecting Bukefalos and already seeing the shift in the Viking people.

Although at first, they had regarded you with a surprised interest, they now looked at you with bowed had and suspecting eyes.

Although Ivar’s explanation had worked on easing the doubts, it certainly hadn’t helped with your image.

You hated it all more and were more than grateful to ride dangerously on Bukefalos, who matched your snappy mood, helping you getting past the crowd quite quickly as you embraced his neck.

He tried to comfort you with a quick lick, but you were trembling, almost aching and all too happy to undergo whatever series of torturing exercises Nanna had for you, as you dug your fingers in the mud till they became muddy, as well and some of your nails broke.

But you didn’t feel pain.

And neither fatigue.

And when Nanna came to check on you, you could see that she was secretly impressed, but quickly dismissed you, accompanying you to your horse, for what you thought would be a private talk.

“I didn’t poison him, if you are curious”.

“Of course, I know that!” she spat out, sending you an annoyed look “… you might not have the strength to pull your body up, but certainly the gods have blessed you with a working brain”.

“What?”.

Was that a backhanded compliment?

“… you are too smart to let Ivar know that you are poisoning him” she explained as if it was the most natural thing in the world “… if you did poison him, he would already be dead”.

“How can you say that?”.

“Because if prince Ivar has chosen you, you must have had something that made the choice worthy” again her tone was annoyed, as if she was explaining this to a petulant child “… and I see how you stabilize yourself through exercises, you use the least amount of energy to get the best result. Not even the best soldiers can do it”.

You just got two compliments by Nanna.

Were you having problem hearing?

“… oh, that is… nice?”.

“If you need to let out anymore rage…” she mumbled, as she turned “… don’t hesitate to let it out here, or on your husband, that fucker deserves it”.

You were definitely having trouble hearing.

Bukefalos welcomed you back with a lick, and you smiled tiredly at him, definitely empty of all those frustrations and without enough strength to think properly, as your mind just thought about all the sleep you’d have once you were back in the tent.

And both Turid and Solveig had to poke your ribs to get you to get out of the bathtub, once you were back in the tent, because the water had grown cold, and the coldness of it brought you back to reality.

You looked in Solveig and Turid’s eyes to find out whether they believed you or not.

If they thought that you could have done it.

And if they were also spying on you for Ivar.

You wouldn’t have been surprised.

You had been naïve, although you had tried to protect your own privacy and secrecy.

You needed to be more attentive at those around you.

You were already waiting for Ivar in bed, having dismissed the handmaidens and eaten dinner alone, more to give yourself some alone time before everything erupted than because you wanted to be left alone.

As Ivar entered the tent, he was smart enough to recognize the air of tension and asked one of the guards to undo his calibers (he had called them like that, once he had explained you, as he talked about how he had created them), meanwhile you pushed further your nose in the book.

“Have you eaten?” he asked dryly, almost tasting out the earth under his feet, just receiving a slight nod from you, who also delved further in the book “… that book must be interesting”.

“Very” your answer was so sharp that you heard Ivar take a deep intake of breath, before he hissed it out.

“You are angry with me”.

“Oh, you are so smart” again that dry tone, and when Ivar, grabbed your hand you almost expected him to push the book out of your hands and then slap you.

Your father wouldn’t have certainly hesitated to do just that.

But Ivar’s grip was almost soothing on your wrists as he lightly drew circles in your skin, eventually getting you to release your grip on the book that fell silently on your lap.

And you were faced with those sky-blue eyes.

“… I am sorry for whatever you angry at me for”.

And this just made your anger flare up again, as you pushed your hands away from his grip, with Ivar effectively releasing your hands due to his surprise to your reaction.

“… ‘for whatever you are angry at me for’?” you asked him “I am angry at you, because not only you let me think that you truly believed Halfdan…”.

“I didn’t” he muttered, his tone tight and his eyes pleading as he looked at you.

“Don’t interrupt me” you shushed him violently “… but you also put somebody to spy on me!”.

“Don’t be so shocked” he retorted, his voice having grown angry, but he was trying to repress it, clutching tight his fists by his side “… and it wasn’t you who I set her spying on”.

“Then swear to me, you didn’t ask her about me, ever” you harshly muttered, sending him a harsh look, and he effectively lowered his eyes.

How stupid and naïve had you been to think that he could truly trust you.

A minute of silence filled the room.

“… you know what our problem is Ivar…” you spoke lowly as you tried to calm and steady your breath “… you make promises that you can’t hold and I do not believe that you can be truthful”.

That hit Ivar deep and before you knew it, his grip was again tight on your wrist, hurtful tight.

“I don’t break promises” his tone was angry, and you couldn’t help but shrink away from him, or try to, due to his tight grip.

And you couldn’t help but feel again like you were in your father’s castle.

Although he hadn’t dared to hit you and Abigail, he had no qualms to rough you up lightly, tightening his hold on you, till it bruised or looking at you so ragefully that you almost imagined the slap he had never given you.

And you couldn’t help but feel the same with Ivar.

Who understood your discomfort and quickly released the grip.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you” he mumbled, almost scared of your reaction, shy as he tried to gain your attention.

But you were frozen, as you moved to your side of the bed, setting yourself down and closing your house as you faked being asleep, meanwhile Ivar pleaded you to talk to him.

To get angry at him, to scream.

But as always, when it happened with your father, you were just frozen in your body.

Shut in and barely breathing.

---

Sleep had been difficult, not simply because it had taken you quite some time to get yourself tired enough not to be able to keep your lids open, but also you had rolled around the bed and you could feel again sweat coating your nightgown and something else between your legs.

You thought it was again simple sweat.

It’d sometimes coat the inside of your thighs, with all your heavy gowns and you couldn’t deny the worry that you had felt all night, hence there was another reason for you to have sweat your way through the fabric.

You exited the bed, surprised by the fact that Ivar was still beside you on the bed.

But you didn’t give it too much thought as you escaped the bed, bothered by the sweat almost as if it burned on your skin, and your stomach grumbled loudly as it almost seemed to bite the lower part of your body and, as you were moving to get yourself up, you froze, almost as if your body choked out all the breath in your lungs.

You should have understood, there and then, that something wasn’t quite right.

But you simply blamed your sickness on your frail emotional status, still hurt by Ivar’s aggression, in the previous night.

You managed to get up and circle the bed, before your stomach grunted annoyed but worst of all was the fact that the air was suddenly knocked away from your lungs as your limbs lost their strength, hence you needed to harshly grab on the small table next to the bed, as you felt acid bile raise from your throat.

And then you looked down and saw blood on your night gown.

Your monthly bleeding had paid you a visit.

With its usual timing.

You now understood the stomachache and worst of all the weakness in your limbs.

Had you known it, you wouldn’t have raised yourself from bed so swiftly.

Your monthly bleeding always made you weaker and it also made your stomach turn against you, as it pierced you from the inside painfully and gruesomely.

And it didn’t take long for the weakness in your limbs to spread to your mind, as your vision was shadowed, and your breath became shallow.

And right when your legs were buckling up underneath you, you felt two strong arms around you and suddenly a sound entered your ears, although you couldn’t quite piece where it was coming from and who uttered it.

At first it was your name and finally your ears registered it was male and it wasn’t difficult for you to realize that it was Ivar, who lightly pushed his nose up your neck in a way that made your overheated body thrill pleasurably, but there wasn’t any intention to pleasure you, as his worried tone huskily told you to breath.

‘Breath’ he commanded you and his body followed his order as it relaxed allowing your mouth to open to breath properly, as your vision came back “… breath (Y/N), yes like that, sweet one, like that”.

And like that he led you back to the bed, as your legs lightly brushed against his frozen crutch showing you that he hadn’t even put on the calibers.

And he lightly pushed you onto the sheets, pushing your back against the cold headboard which brought you extreme relief as your drenched back met it, letting out a languid moan, as you opened your eyes, ashamed of your freeness.

But Ivar, except the light blush on his cheeks, just kept his eyes focused on you.

And you remembered the stain on your nightgown you shot a quick look at the stain on the bed, and Ivar immediately followed your gaze, finding the blood, before a quick look to your nightgown revealed to him what you were thinking.

“Are you…?” he seemed shocked as anger filled his eyes “… hurt?”.

“It’s my monthly bleeding” you muttered out almost breathlessly due to your shame and tiredness “… it gets me like this sometimes, I need to bathe”:

Because, if the sweat didn’t make you already feel dirty, certainly the blood between your legs and on the bed did.

You had caused a mess.

And in your sudden confusion mixed with tiredness, you blushed at Ivar, muttering a small:

“Sorry”.

But he didn’t seem in the slightest fazed, simply caressing your face as he checked whether you were responsive or not.

“I have seen many battlefields and believe me this doesn’t faze me…” he replied honestly “… I’ll ask the guards to wake Turid and Solveig, do you feel like you won’t faint again?”.

“I don’t think I will, and in case this bed is soft” you promised him as you exchanged tired smirks and he did move to get the guards as you tried to adjust yourself to avoid a mess, lightly pushing up your nightgown, since the fabric of the nightgown was too heavy, for you to properly breath.

The light breeze of wind that came with the opened tent, made you moan lightly as you felt it gently against your naked skin, embarrassed of the exposed way your body was offering itself to Ivar’s sight.

Who, respectfully shed his eyes away, although he sat next to you.

Right when your stomach started hurting you again, your face twisting in a grimace.

“… does it hurt?” asked Ivar, his voice lightly roughed up by his morning breath and you lightly nodded your head at him, since you just couldn’t hide your uneasiness “…where?”.

“My stomach…” you mumbled, lightly “… I usually get a warm towel on it, it helps a bit”.

“Wait” Ivar lightly stuck out his tongue as he seemed to focus himself, before his hand positioned itself on your stomach, lightly pressing, trying to look at you for any sign of unease, but you moaned out pleasurably as the warmth of his hand numbed the pain “… is it good?”.

“Yes, thank you” you mumbled, closing your eyes at the comfortable situation, as Ivar mumbled lightly his even breath calming you, lightly lulling you “My mother used to do this too, whenever my stomach ached”.

As soon as your words left your mouth, you regretted them.

Even more as you realized how intimate and silly those words were.

It was something that only your sisters knew, since it was what your mother used to do also to them, calming them softly as she moved a hand onto your stomach to make their stomachaches pass faster.

Till now also Kathleen would sometimes do it to you, when you felt the horribly.

“Mine used to kiss the zones that hurt, and tell me that she had magic lips that made everything better” he told you, and you couldn’t help but laugh lightly, at the sweetness your moms had given you.

And at the gentle confession he had gifted you.

“If it doesn’t pass, I’ll tell Solveig to give you some of my herbs to help lessen the pain” he mumbled, and you just shook your head.

“It isn’t so bad, and it usually lasts only one day” you explained but Ivar didn’t look to convinced “… it is Eve’s burden, it shouldn’t be lessened by anything, it is a divine punishment…”.

“You aren’t Christian, anymore, little one” he mumbled, suddenly his lips lightly grazing your forehead, and you weren’t sure whether it was a nice gesture or if he was checking your temperature as your mother did “… you don’t have to tolerate pain”.

Why was it like that?

Because every time Ivar was sweet with you, it was either after he had screwed up everything or before he was going to.

And it left such a bad taste in your mouth.

The thought of not being able to trust him fully.

“I’ll think about it” you muttered your tone definitely more sober.

And you were almost thankful when Solveig announced her presence with a light cough, and you couldn’t help but blush lightly, being caught in such a private moment.

“… my princess?” she asked softly, as she ordered to Turid a change of clean clothes.

“She has her monthly bleeding” explained directly Ivar for you as you blushed even redder, lightly slapping his arm ad he turned to you confused.

“Don’t… that’s private” you mumbled, sending an apologizing look at Solveig, who simply smiled, too roughed up by age to be truly embarrassed.

“Don’t worry, princess, we have been through that many and many times” she made you feel comfortable as Ivar moved to help you up as if you were made of china.

And you couldn’t help but huff at the affectionate annoyance, as Solveig took you in her arms, although you felt much steadier in your walking, solely your stomach aching, as Solveig lightly blurted out various facts about being a woman and Turid moved to start the bed anew.

Ivar followed you with his gaze till you entered in the private bathroom, adverting his gaze as Solveig helped you out of your dress, for which you were thankful.

You heard him getting ready in the other room, meanwhile Turid came back with some linen to help you in, after you got out of the bathtub, Ivar not in sight, although you could hear his grunts as he put on the calibers.

You moved in another nightgown, this one shorter, leaving your arms uncovered, as it brought your figure to be hidden under the veiled fabric something for which you were thankful, since you had taken one look at the mirror and found your belly swollen.

But Ivar still looked taken aback as you emerged from the steam of the tub, your skin lightly rosy and heated, as Solveig still accompanied you, but at a larger distance, meanwhile Turid had finished with setting up the bed, again clean and Ivar sat at a chair near the entrance.

He looked somewhat impatient.

And you immediately reasoned it was probably because he was late to where he should be.

“You can go, I won’t faint, I swear”.

“Don’t” his tone was dashingly sarcastic “My guards won’t trust it, anymore”.

“I did it only one time!” you protested looking at the sky, as he moved to limp lightly to your bed, to salute you more warmly and although you should have been pissed, you welcomed again his kiss on your cheek, before he prompted the two thralls to follow every order of yours.

‘… and starts the herbs’ he muttered tightly at Solveig, who nodded, meanwhile your glance became lightly sour.

And then he exited the tent, leaving you with your stomachache, a fretting Solveig and a comforting Turid, who was honestly the only person you wanted to be around, lately.

But your quiet was short-lived since your flock of handmaidens entered your tent, all probably alerted by Turid, as they fretted around nervously, chit-chatting as you sent a pleading look at Solveig, but she simply smiled at you and muttered ‘the perks of being a princess’.

Angelika fell down next to you on the bed.

“You should seriously consider that God hates you” she mumbled, as she closed her eyes, evidently enjoying the sensation of the fluffy mattress, where you invited the other girl to rest, comfortably “… one day you escape a poisoning attempt, and the next… you get your period”.

“God doesn’t give us anything that we can’t tolerate” you replied, harshly as you turned away, more than happy to adjust yourself to face a smirking Lia.

“Do you talk to your heathen husband with that tongue?” she contrasted you, but not with the usual bite, and you couldn’t help but feel like she was teasing you like Kathleen would do, and it brought a smile to your face.

“… I talk to my husband how I want” you replied sharply, and all the handmaiden muttered a tight ‘oh’ as they moved closer to you, curious.

“She hit him on the arm, this morning” muttered Solveig in a tight Norse that only Angelika and Caryn understood, and the former giggled lightly, sending you an amazing look, meanwhile the latter’s lips simply opened in a smirk.

Soon a few of your handmaidens went away, reassured you wouldn’t bleed out, as Angelika followed them for their daily chores, giggling with a few as Lia sent you a confused look, but you simply ordered her.

“Don’t leave her behind”.

Caryn still stayed and you knew why.

Although the haze of the stomachache still butchered your mind, you kept it tight and sharp as she came closer, almost as if she was checking on you.

But she had more to confess.

“I didn’t tell him about the letters I sent to the bishop” she mumbled through her teeth, and you tried your best to wield your face in a calm one, surprised by the fact that she hadn’t betrayed you so easily.

“There isn’t anything scandalous in my letters to bishop Heahmund” you replied with the same secretive tone “… they are for my sisters”.

And then, coded inside there were some news in Latin.

“I know, my lady” she spoke softly, but you couldn’t help but be glad of her admission.

Her last show of loyalty.

“What will you do now that you are free?” you asked gently, wanting to shift away the attention from your original theme of conversation, since the burn of the betrayal was still burning “… will you return to England? I’ll ask Hvitserk to accompany you…”.

“I have decided to stay with you” her affirmation was convinced and sincere, as if it was an obvious decision “… at least till you’ll go back to Kattegat”.

“You are free, Caryn and you don’t owe me anything” you tried to explain to her.

As much as you felt hurt by her betrayal, you couldn’t deny that you’d have done the same.

You were doing the same.

It was simply a game of survival.

And everyone didn’t play fair.

Even more your husband.

Caryn seemed taken aback by your words and lowered her head.

“Yet, I’ll stay” she promised “… and I��ll try to make up for what I destroyed”.

“You don’t have any make up to do” you explained, as you lightly pushed yourself to sit more properly “:.. this isn’t… the Vikings have taken so much from you, and you can’t blame yourself for wanting a shot at freedom, I don’t blame you”.

“But you don’t trust me” she uttered, as if that saying hurt her.

“Sadly, I can’t, not right now”.

After everything that had happened, you just couldn’t.

And you weren’t sure you would ever.

“I understand that” she mumbled lowering her head and moving up as she also exited, finally leaving you with Turid, who lightly moved around the room adjusting everything out his place, and eventually you took pity on the poor girl.

“Turid, won’t you make me company?” you mumbled, patting lightly the seat next to you and although she squealed what sounded like a tight ‘no no’, but you didn’t let her much choice “… don’t make me order you to sit down, before you give me an headache”.

And the poor thrall nodded, siting down at the end of the bed, as you dug out a book from your pillow, Cicero, ‘Pro Archia’.

You had thought it’d be fitting.

Hadn’t Cicero just squandered his talent over a case he had already won.

But it was familiar to you, in a way that almost hugged you to comfort, as you waited for Solveig to come back with the herbs.

It wasn’t the pain you were fearful, but of what the pain did to your mind, keeping it from being sharp and lucid when it should have been at its best.

God would forgive you.

Not that it mattered much to you, anyway.

As Angelika had said, you weren’t much beloved by Him either way.

And you were enjoying your beloved calmness, when your tent was opened again.

You thought it was Solveig, probably rushing in, since all the older handmaidens were busy with chores.

Sadly, it was Halfdan.

Turid immediately got up, and you expected her to move around the tent again, but instead, she stood her ground, looking up and down Halfdan, as she physically shielded you with her tiny body.

But Haldan looked definitely intimidated.

“I just…”.

The look in the girl’s eyes that you could see reflected in the mirror at the entrance spoke of steely nights and threats.

“…. I need to talk with the princess” and he made to move forward, but Turid stopped him, moving to block his road and hadn’t you been extremely angry at him, almost scared, you would have gladly laughed, at the funny scene.

But again, you spared the poor girl.

“Turid, get Hvitserk” because you wouldn’t have a conversation with him without one of the brothers being outside “… and you, Halfdan, will wait outside, meanwhile I get changed”.

And you sent him a look that told him to obey your order.

And he exited, almost defeated, the room, meanwhile Solveig entered it with the herbs, making you drink the smelly brew, which didn’t taste better and you thought that certainly if it wouldn’t have made you feel better, you would have retched your own pain.

Solveig then pushed you in a sober dark green silky dress, which was loose on your front, falling in a linear gown, not very flattering but you couldn’t just greet Halfdan in a nightgown.

Actually, if it had been to you, you wouldn’t have greeted him.

Hvitserk appeared on the threshold a bit later, as he regarded Halfdan with a hasty look right when Solveig finished pushing your hair up with an emerald pin, as a few strands of hair fell down your neck, graciously.

“Tell me what you have come here to talk and then leave” you mumbled regarding him, sat onto your bed, although you tried to keep your more upright position, almost as if you were on a throne.

Your elegant emerald necklace, you were wearing, catching the light coming from the open tent flap, so the guards would barge immediately in if Halfdan tried anything, although Hvitserk already had a hand on his sword looked definitely intimidating.

“I am sorry it had to go that way”.

“Are you truly sorry or are you sorry just because you got discovered?” you muttered, spitting those words as if they were poisoned.

“… it wasn’t meant to get that way” he mumbled darkly, and Hvitserk raised himself so suddenly that you were also caught by surprise as he moved to push his chest against Halfdan, effectively getting the man to back off.

“Oh, it was meant to get you on the throne, wasn’t it” he commented tightly, as he faced tightly and harshly the man “… but you underestimated us, son of a bitch”.

“My brother did” he commented, before he shot you a light look “I never did”.

“Then why did you do it?” you asked him, your voice tight, as you were a bit affected by the suddenness of Hvitserk’s actions and Halfdan’s words.

“I told my brother not to do it, not to go against you, that he wouldn’t have won…” he spoke, almost like a broken record “… but he didn’t listen”.

“And yet you supported him” spat out Hvitserk, almost offended for you.

“He is my brother”.

And you couldn’t deny that you would have done the same thing.

Your expression of annoyance softened, as you got up from the bed, the dress falling onto your legs and pooling on the floor, as it followed you.

You moved closer to him, under the attentive eyes of Hvitserk.

“You chose your loyalty Halfdan” you mumbled tightly “… I hope that the time away will help you see that we can choose our own path, instead of following other’s”.

And you turned, because it just hurt you.

To think that you, deep down, were exactly like him: following the path somebody had laid out for you and trying to protect your older sister.                                            

You heard Hvitserk led him out, although Halfdan insisted you weren’t finished but you simply mumbled ‘have a safe travel’, and moved again onto the bed, facing away from everything as you looked at the reflection of your hair on the pillow, lightly catching the rays of sun that pierced through the tent.

“… he isn’t going to die” mumbled Hvitserk, almost as if he thought that you were feeling sad because you felt guilty “… he’ll have his fun travelling the Mediterranean with Bjorn”.

“And what about Harald?”.

You were honestly relived you wouldn’t have to deal with the arrogant king, because he honestly didn’t seem trustworthy in the slightest, and you didn’t want any more plotting, seeing the mess it had thrown you in.

But you were almost grateful to the king for having made you see who you could trust and who you couldn’t.

“He’ll go back to his lands” he explained as he sat down on the end of the bed, raising lightly his bright eyes to meet yours, as you brought your legs close to your chest, to help ease the pain you were feeling in your stomach.

The herbs wouldn’t be working at least for half an hour after consumption, had explained to you Solveig, but you just hoped they’d rush in, since the pain wasn’t making you focus.

“… I am glad to hear that” you uttered with a grimace and Hvitserk lowered his head, thinking that it was for him.

“I know that… you are pissed with him because I sided with Ivar…”.

“I could never be pissed with you for that” you stopped him, as you searched his eyes “I have two sisters and I’ll always side with them, no matter what”.

The discourse seemed to have made him gain something, as life was brought back in his eyes, almost as a dog who had received a praise.

“:.. but I am annoyed that you went behind my back, because I thought we were…” ‘friends’ but it was more.

He had acted with you almost as an older brother for which you were honestly thankful, but it pained you more to know that he had chosen his side.

And it wasn’t yours.

You couldn’t simply trust him again.

But you also couldn’t push him away.

“… but if you get me some sweets from the kitchens, my annoyance with you will certainly grow weaker”.

And you hadn’t seen a man move faster, as Hvitserk dashed to you, quickly planting a small kiss on your forehead, mumbling something about ‘feeling blessed’, before disappearing again.

A few minutes he was back again with so many sweets that you couldn’t help but wonder whether Vikings simply didn’t like sweets or he had stolen all of them before the others could lay an hand on them, but apparently Hvitserk has a surprise for you.

“Apparently, my dear brother has gotten them made, because he knows that you like them” and he sent you a devious smirk, as you stole the sweet in his hands to stuff your mouth with it, glad that your stomach had started to return normal.

But the herbs had left you hungry.

And sleepy.

“… oh, did he?” you mumbled, as you lightly licked the cream off one of the sweets you had been presented with.

“He did” muttered Hvitserk with a conspiring tone, as he raised an eyebrow “I’ll let you in a secret”.

“Oh, do indulge me” you mumbled, pursuing your lips in a small smile.

“I do think that he likes you”.

You erupted in laughter, loud enough to make a guard’s face appear from the behind the tent flap because he thought you were choking on something, as Hvitserk excused your antics, mumbling to him that you were alright.

“I do think that I know that, he has married me, after all” you replied, as soon as your breath came back, lightly moving your fingers to show him your ring.

“Yeah, but…” Hvitserk seemed so focused that another laughter found its way from your mouth “… but Ivar wasn’t ever interested in females, he had… a bad experience… and then never approached them”.

“A bad experience?” you asked, but Hvitserk ignored you, so you just shoved down that knowledge, listening close to Hvitserk’s incoherent mumbles.

“… and then suddenly he said that he’d marry this English princess, that she was beautiful and smart, and…”.

“Wait” you stopped him, as your eyes met “… he said this before he got to know me, how?”.

“That’s what I asked myself!” retorted Hvitserk “… because… English women are stuck up and annoying… no offense obviously”.

“I’ll need more sweets for that” you retorted, as you grabbed all the sweets that Hvitserk had on his part, gaining a sad puppy look, but you didn’t back down from your decision.

“… and we tried to get him to back off, but he was simply too convinced…” he breathed out, before a small smile appeared on his face “… what I am trying to say is that… my brother likes you, like he does, he isn’t the best at showing it…”:

“He arrested me for attempted poisoning when he knew I wasn’t guilty”.

“… yeah, he doesn’t know how to express emotions, but he is attentive and I know that you have every right to be pissed at him… it’s better him than me… but… he cares for you”.

Your cheeks blushed although you tried to hold yourself upright and to keep up some kind of royal look, as you devoured another sweet, hoping it’d also sweeten the perception you had of Ivar.

The way he had grabbed you so strongly the previous night, and yet the sweet way he had taken care of you this morning….

Why couldn’t he be seriously the monster of the fairy tales you had heard so much about?

It would have made everything easier.

Included spilling his secrets to Heahmund and hating him.

“… I’ll keep that in mind”.

“And I am totally not saying that because my brother is cranky when you are angry with him” he blurted out, sending you a pleading look “… that time you walked in him meanwhile he was plotting, he screamed for ten minutes at the guards and then I had to tell him that the way to a woman’s heart is through the stomach… quite literally”.

“You…?” you erupted in a laughter, imagining Ivar doing what Hvitserk had told you, as you rolled down the bed, in a very unladylike manner “… are you serious?”.

“I swear it on my honor”.

“There isn’t much to swear on, then” you teased him, as he sent you a light awful look “… I am joking… maybe”.

“The first day you walked in the camping I swore that you wouldn’t have lasted a day, you were too sweet…” he mumbled tightly “… I apparently lost some money with that fucker of Bjorn, because it turns out you are worse than I thought”.

“Didn’t you enjoy the poison ivy in your bed?” you retorted, feeling slightly guilty for it.

“Was it you?!” he exclaimed, faking a betrayed look on his face, as you laughed soundly “I thought it was a prank from … Ivar… Gosh, you two are seriously made for the other”.

“Next time you’ll cross me, sweets won’t save you” you muttered, pushing another sweet in your mouth, meanwhile Hvitserk just looked at you as a beaten puppy “… don’t they call Ivar, ruthless? Well I’ll be that too”.

“I don’t know why I am even surprised” he muttered, sending you a serious look “… you English women are full of surprises”.

You just sent him an enigmatic kiss.

You ate the morning away and slept the afternoon, guarded by your handmaidens that took turns to entertain you, and tell you what had been happening meanwhile you were left in your tent.

And you sadly realized your relationship with the Vikings was even more strained.

But you were proud to hear both Lia and Arabella asking you whether they could join you on your training, as Eleanor hid under the brunette, who had a loose arm around here, almost as if it was second nature to them.

‘Obviously, we’d join it when we are not essential to the chores in the camp’ stumbled through words Lia, definitely at unease.

You had simply shaken your head, telling them that they could train whenever they wanted.

‘… at the condition that you won’t laugh when you see me training’ you made them swear as they already giggled, before they threw themselves in a gossiping moment, mumbling about the sudden change in Angelika.

“I kid you not, but she asked me if she could be helpful with anything!” almost screeched Eleanor, here pretty eyes, shining almost dripping honey as naivety and surprise took them.

“She is currently folding some of your underwear, my lady” grinned Lia “… but I am not sure if you’ll have any underwear by the end of it”.

“Why?” you asked lightly curious “… she can’t do that much damage simply folding laundry”.

And they all sent you a look that meant ‘you shall see’.

Angelika did, in fact, come to you with your folded clothes, a bit scrunched up and wrinkly but you were honestly surprised that the girl had chosen to collaborate with the others, so you were more than happy to also gossip a bit with her, till your lids became too heavy for a talking spar.

“… did your husband tire you out, last night” she suggested maliciously, making you open your eyes to roll them at her antics.

“Yes, but not in the way you are thinking” you pursued your lips, as you sunk your teeth in them.

“Don’t bite your lips or you’ll make them break” lightly reprimanded you Angelika “… make him bite his lips, give him a bit of hell of his own”.

“I just wasn’t… I am not the type” because every time you had tried to confront Ivar it didn’t… it never worked well for you “… it is hard for me to use harsh words and…”.

“You don’t have to” mumbled Angelika with a sincere look “… there is a kindness to you that is definitely more effective than any shouting”.

You couldn’t help but be moved by her gentle words.

As she left you, you slept again a bit, eventually settling up to play with the cube that Floki had gifted you on your wedding.

From what you had gathered, each face of the cube was divided in smaller cubes that were signed with a different rune, meaning for it to form some kind of phrase, as you matched the smaller cubes, but whenever you found some meaning to the toy, the next movement would break away your phrase.

It was almost more frustrating that talking with Ivar.

Who walked in as you continued on trying new movements, as the wooden cubes clicked against each other, the sole noise in the room since Ivar kept himself silent, staring at you from the threshold, till you raised lightly your head.

He looked like he had been caught admiring you, and Hvitserk’s words came back to you.

He lightly bowed his head, muttering lightly an ‘hello’, as you adjusted yourself in bed, as he came closer, hiding something behind his back.

“How are you feeling?” he asked as he came to sit up on a chair next to the bed, as you exited the bed to come helping him with his calibers.

“Better” you mumbled softly “… I have taken the herbs, but the second day isn’t as bad as the first”.

And as you were moving to lower yourself, Ivar stopped you, gently grabbing your hand, his roughness surprising but you wheeled your face to keep straight as you were surprised by such an intimate gesture.

“Can we talk?” he honestly seemed almost to expect you to reject him again, like the previous night, as if you held some power over him.

“I do think that we need it” you mumbled, in answer, as you moved a chair to sit in front of him and he set up what he was hiding behind his back on the table between you.

And you recognized immediately the shape: a crown.

It was a circlet of gold with rubies on it, but they were shaped to form small roses as the clearness of the crystal caught the light of the candles intensely, shining of bright red, meanwhile the golden almost became white.

It was a beautiful creation.

“It’s yours” he muttered tightly between his teeth, without raising his eyes from your joined hands, as you sent him a surprised glance, before you again reigned your face to keep it clean from any emotion.

“I won’t simply forget the humiliation you have put me through because of a nice jewel”.

Your father always did the same with your mother.

And not because he felt bad for what he had done to her, but because jewels would cover bruises.

“It isn’t a simple nice jewel” he chewed on his words, almost as if he was still thinking before he started speaking “… it is… an oath to you”.

“What… what do you mean?” you asked, sending him a confused look.

“You say that my words are fickle…” the taste of those words brought a sour taste on his mouth, but he still said them “… so I thought that this could hold much more to you”.

“I am not following you…”.

And he almost scared you with the fastness he showed as he reached out for the crown, gripping it, till the ruby roses dug in his skin and blood seeped through it, staining the crown as you realized what he meant.

He was swearing to you.

And although it wasn’t your custom, you couldn’t help but feel the holiness of this.

You bit your lips unsure whether to stop him or let him continue that blasphemy.

“… I swear, princess (Y/N), that my plot against you yesterday will be the last act against you” he swore, as he pushed himself on his knees, although you were aware it was painful.

A part of you wanted to take pity on him.

But another part, the one that won, kept on looking at him, to see how far he’d push himself for you

“… my words might have been… untruthful” he didn’t seem convinced about it, but an harsh look from you gave him all the conviction he needed “I mean no harm to you and I swear this upon this crown, that might for ever remind us of this, that it is the last time that I don’t speak the truth to you, that I don’t respect you”.

And you couldn’t help but believe him.

Although you shouldn’t have.

And you didn’t let yourself go so easily.

“This isn’t enough” because as much as he had sworn to you never to cross you, he had some sides that you had just caught glimpse of.

And you had to understand whether the true Ivar was the sweet one that’d cherish you at your lowest or the ruthless one everybody knew.

“Then let me know what I have to do, and I’ll do it” he swore, loudly, as his hand joined yours, and his eyes raised to you.

You weren’t feeling any pressure at all, for sure…

And then the words slipped out of your mouth, on their own.

Maybe because it had been something that you had wanted to do, since after your first ‘night together’.

“Spend a day with me” you told him, softly, as your hand reciprocated the grip on yours and your eyes shine fully “… let me know you, as the man you are when you aren’t with others”.

‘And please don’t reveal yourself to be the monster of every English story’.

And everything in him seemed to come to life, as he immediately proceeded to kiss the back your hand, bringing it to his lips, with a gratefulness that made you blush and push away your hand from him, almost burned.

The place his lips had touched did indeed burn, as you brushed away the evidence of it, as if it had left a burn on it, but Ivar looked quite satisfied as he moved to crawl against in the chair.

“You are truly a woman of mercy, princess (Y/N)” he muttered, as he shot you a soft look, although his eyes sparkled of malice and you shot him an annoyed glance, more to hide your embarrassment than actually for anything else.

“… you aren’t forgiven… yet” you bit, your lips, eyeing him, your eyes strangely focusing on the handsome cut of his jaw, as it moved to form a smirk, and you were impressed by the strength in his neck, as it moved to send you a knowing look, as if to say he knew you weren’t annoyed with him, anymore.

And you intensified your haughty glance.

But nobody would have believed it.

“Aren’t you Christians supposed to be creature of mercy?” he mumbled, as he kept on that impenitent look.

“Not a Christian anymore, husband” you retorted, willing yourself to keep your answer short not to give him any satisfaction “… I don’t think I ever was, I loved too much the myths to believe in anything that wasn’t them”.

Something like interest appeared in Ivar’s face, but you raised from the chair, with every intention of getting yourself in bed, since, although the pain was slowly leaving, it certainly hadn’t been an easy day for you.

“Before you go to sleep… just try it on for me” he asked of you, no expectation in his voice, as he held out the crown for you, cleaning it from the blood against his own tunic, for which you reprimanded him, because ‘Solveig had already enough to wash’.

But you indulged him.

Even more because that piece was of an intricate beauty

And you hadn’t gotten many gifts.

Your father hadn’t certainly made you lack anything, except affection, but every gift seemed like a debt you owned to him.

Whereas this one… was precious.

And not solely because of the materials, but Ivar’s oath on it.

You adjusted it on top of your hair, lightly checking you out in your nightgown as you brushed back your hair before you threaded it among them, finding it quite fitting.

And you did allow yourself a moment of vanity.

Although you were in a comfortable nightgown, nothing too fancy, the crown nobilitated the entire assemble and as it caught the light of the candle, reflecting it with reddish sparkles.

And then you turned to a smiling Ivar.

He looked like you were the most perfect creature in the world.

And you blushed, your cheeks almost as red as the rubies of your crown.

“… it is beautiful” you muttered, diverting the look from him, almost ashamed and thinking that you weren’t worthy of it “… I look like a princess”.

“No” he replied, as his face took an almost ecstatic look “… you look like a queen”.

---

You woke up with a light tampering against your shoulder, as Ivar gently caressed your naked shoulder, since the nightgown’s arm straps had lowered lightly, revealing some heated skin.

At first you moved away, humming for more sleep.

But Ivar’s laughter followed his gesture, as he lightly brought your hair away from your face.

And you leaned in his hand, gently welcoming the warmth and roughness of those familiar hand, as you slowly brought yourself out of the sleep mist.

And as you turned to face properly Ivar, you blushed lightly at the nearness you had, and you scooted lightly away, a dash of blush on your face, but he smirked tightly at you, admiring your form.

“Good morning” he mumbled softly, as you hummed a response, trying to make your mind function under the watchful gaze of those pool of skies, definitely your favorite color.

He was blessed beyond measure with looks.

And he looked so sinful, all relaxed and teasing.

Excited almost by the way his eyes were full-blown, his long hair out of the braids, making you want to push a hand through them, to feel their texture since they seemed quite silky and full of volume.

And then those lips…

… Gosh, you spent all too much time thinking about them.

“… still want to pass the day with me?” he asked you jokingly, as he raised an eyebrow, but his eyes hid more.

He was almost scared for you to back out.

“Why would I not want to pass time together with my beloved?” your tone was sickly sweet, and now you were the one who was teasing him, as your hand searched for his, lightly gripping it as you brought his attention to you.

“Because you look quite sleepy” he replied tightly, as his hand gripped yours and before you knew he had brought you in a loose hug, and the part of you, who was sleepy, craved his warmth, as you cradled closer to him, before flashes of the previous night appeared in your mind.

You couldn’t surrender simply because Ivar used his devilish charm against you.

And you had enough.

“No, absolutely, I am awake!” you replied tightly as you moved away, exiting the warmth of your bed, rushing to the bathroom “… get yourself ready, I wouldn’t want to lose a single hour without you”.

“You are mean” he complained with a wicked look.

“You married me” you retorted, as you got yourself in bathroom, getting ready to change your linens,  adjusting your hair, meanwhile your heard Ivar rummaging around, getting ready.

You changed quite quickly and without the help of your handmaidens, since the assemble you had chosen was simple, because if you had to spend the morning with Ivar you couldn’t have anything that would slow down.

Hence your beloved pants were on, alongside a light shirt covered with a woolen jacket.

You pushed your hair up, bringing two sides of it to join on your back of the hair with a golden pin, with shiny pearls on it, in order to bring the hair away from your face, in a less pompous look.

As you exited the bathroom, yawning lightly, you caught Ivar, doing his braid on his bed, although he seemed highly at unease and you set yourself down, beside him, gently slapping away his hands, and pushing them in his hands.

You almost wanted to moan at the softness of those tresses, surprised they were clean and silky, since you never saw him bathe, although you thought he either did when you were outside or early in the morning when you slept.

“… where did you learn to braid?” he asked, as you calmly moved the tresses between themselves, trying to get yourself used to the shorter hair.

“I have sisters…” you mumbled lightly “… an older one who couldn’t keep her hairstyle for more than a few hours and a younger one, who…”.

Your voice broke as you found yourself admitting that you had taken in the role of your mother when your sister Abigail was younger and she would escape the handmaiden’s hands because they weren’t as nice as yours-

You’d make a small Abigail sit down on your lap and then proceed to make her talk so she wouldn’t protest against you braiding her hair.

“Is it better to have sisters?” he asked, almost curious, at your tone.

“I wouldn’t know, I didn’t have anything to compare it with” you raised an eyebrow lightly “Is it better to have brothers?”.

Ivar’s eyes became suddenly dark, a shadow appearing in them, as you moved to adjust yourself a bit further away from him, scared of what would be going on.

But then he just shook his head.

“I wouldn’t know, I didn’t have anything to compare it with”.

“Don’t steal my words” you reprimanded him, as you felt the atmosphere growing lighter, before he pushed himself up to his feet, having slipped in the calibers, probably helped by the guards, as you did the same “… what do you have planned for today?”.

“First a trip to the kitchen and then…” his eyes shone of true interest “… then I want to show you a place”.

You nodded following him, as you saluted all the handmaidens, wishing them ‘good morning’.

“I’ll spend the morning with prince Ivar, so you have the day off” you mumbled, before your gaze set up on both Lia and Arabella “… I asked Hvitserk to pass here later so that he could bring you to Nanna, send her my regards”.

“We will” commented softly Lia, meanwhile Arabella’s eyes just shone.

And you proceeded for a brief stop to the main kitchen, glad of your common attire, which wouldn’t attract many gazes, although Hvitserk recognized you, but simply sent you a smirk as he saw Ivar emerge from the kitchen with a basket.

‘Bring the girls to Nanna’ you remembered him, as you passed him, Ivar laughing at your commanding tone.

“My brother isn’t used to women ordering him around” he justified it as you both moved to the stables, to get Bukefalos and his chariot, the white horse, immediately saluting you excitedly, enough to scare the poor stable boy.

Not as much as Ivar did still.

“Neither are you” you teased him, with a light wink, moving to calm down the animal, meanwhile his shocked eyes followed you and you simply focused every inch of attention onto the horse.

Spying with your side-eye Ivar.

You had allowed him another chance not simply to stay on his good side, but also for the fact that you had to see a side of Ivar that was utterly him.

You were justifying your choice with the fact that you needed it to report to Heahmund.

Who except seeing him in the hall, he hadn’t checked on you, since you had gotten accused of poisoning, and although you recognized it was a smart move to let any suspicious thoughts fall…

… it just made you wonder if he was truly here to protect you and serve his country and not keep you from running away.

And steal your thoughts.

“Get my chariot ready” you heard Ivar utter to the stable boy, effectively leaving you alone.

And a part of you feared he had done it to teach you a lesson.

Since he had touched you so harshly two nights ago, flashes of him and your father alternated in your mind.

Had it been your father, he’d have punished you privately.

But Ivar simply came closer to you, gently proceeding to caress the horse, as you lowered your trembling hands, hiding them in the pockets of your pants.

“… what kind of name is Bukefalos?” he asked softly, probably having perceived your uneasiness.

“Alexander the Great’s horse was named Bukefalos” you explained, chasing away his eyes with yours, as you stared at the dirty floor “… he was a restless horse, aggressive with anyone but Alexander, who had learnt he feared his shadow”.

You felt Ivar’s eyes on you, but you refused to meet his gaze, as you exited the stables feeling the stable boy entering inside again, and you were more than glad to let him work alone, glad to bash under the rays of sun that day you had been blessed with.

Ivar joined you, after he had instructed the stable boy, his voice now calmer than the one he had used before.

“… he is quite untamed” he mumbled as he joined you “… Buke… whatever was that mythic stallion name… we have a similar one…”.

“Sleipnir” you commented, before he could finish the phrase, the blush on your cheeks following the words you proceeded to say “… bore by Loki, who joined himself with the horse Svaðilfœri”.

“You certainly do like mythology” he mumbled, laughing lightly, as it shattered a bit the tension.

“It is just interesting… to see the links between peoples” you replied “… these stories were the foundation of society and their rules, and I just…”.

“It gives a magic that life doesn’t have, doesn’t it?”.

You felt like Ivar spoke the words you had never found, and nodded eagerly, as you finally met his eyes, finding them looking at you with admiration and… tenderness.

Your small talk was interrupted by the stable boy to tell Ivar his chariot was ready, and although you had heard quite the impressive talk about his war chariot, it didn’t seem so… imposing and scary, now

Ivar pushed himself on it, before he extended an hand to help you, Bukefalos neighing his impatience at your uncertainty, since you couldn’t help but feel like the thing seemed pretty ‘dangerous’, it hadn’t anything that resembled your English chariots.

And Ivar immediately saw through you.

“I won’t make you fall off” he joked lightly, as you bit your lips, eventually moving the first steps to raise yourself onto it.

“I’ll hold you onto that promise” you mumbled, as you nervously moved to adjust yourself, so that you were right in front of the chariot, and Ivar behind you, keeping you steady between his arms, with extreme expertise.

His body pressed against you in a way that would have been highly improper, even more if you were husband and wife, but Ivar’s body held this kind of steadiness and strength that made you relax lightly, as you thought about how much Kathleen would have liked this.

She would pretend to ride old carpets as if they were her own personal horses or try to run down the stairs onto a kitchen tray.

“I swear it on your crown” he mumbled, before he pushed Bukefalos to move.

And you had to admit that it wasn’t as bad as you had thought.

It wasn’t bad in the slightest, although your legs trembled as you finally arrived in the secluded area Ivar had brought you to.

But it had felt good.

You loved riding horses, but you couldn’t help but feel like in this case you were living more in the moment.

You were free.

“Was it that terrible?” joked Ivar as he helped you get down, meanwhile you just giggled.

“It was beautiful, Gosh, it just felt so damn…”.

“… like you were truly alive?” taunted you your husband, as he gently pushed his arms around your waist, and you should have jumped, but you just stayed there for a moment, observing the curious boy that was looking at you behind his eyelashes.

Clear blue eyes tinted with amusement, whether for your red-tinted cheeks or for your messy hair.

Or simply because you had smiled at him.

“Yeah, when Floki made it for me I honestly felt like I was reborn” he mumbled, as you finally jumped down, still in his arms, bound strongly around your waist, almost as if he didn’t want to let you go.

You almost wished he didn’t.

The comfort of his body against yours, almost making you dizzy.

“… it was my chance to run”.

You nodded, although you knew that you wouldn’t have been able to understand, and let Ivar adjust the chariot and Bukefalos, as you explored where he had bought you.

A part of you had known that it might not have been the best idea to go with him to a secluded area, even more with things between you two being unresolved.

But you were trying to give him a chance to make you trust him again.

And you had Bukefalos on your own.

The place where he had brought you was a small clearing in the middle of the woods, lightly blessed with a mirror of sunlight all for itself, in an almost idyllic picture that made you utter a soft whimper of happiness as the tips of grass graces against your hand as you touched it.

It was a beautiful situation.

Because you weren’t a princess anymore, and neither a wife.

You were simply one with the nature.

“I knew you would have liked it” commented Ivar.

And you couldn’t help but wonder why such a tormented and wary person found his calmness in this piece of heaven.

And Ivar read your question in your eyes.

“It isn’t… common for me, I know, but…” he bit his lips as if he wanted to hold the truth inside of them “… I spent a lot of time alone as a child… and if I didn’t… sometimes the… world would be too loud, so I found myself my own small… place where I could be alone”.

It was a true confession and you couldn’t help but feel the rawness of his emotions.

And you believed him.

“… and I know… that you also feel like that. sometimes” he mumbled, proving what Hvisterk had told you.

He had been attentive about you.

“So, I thought you might need this” he muttered, as the tone of his voice moved into ramblings, as if he wasn’t sure of it “… so that you can come…”.

“Thank you” the words escaped your mouth, before he could finish with the embarrassed answer, and before you knew it, you gently kissed one of his cheeks, as he sat down beside you “… this is beautiful”.

“Ahh you are welcome” he couldn’t help but choke on the words as if they were burning on his tongue, more than happy to change the subject as your hands lightly joined themselves on the grass “… and what about Alexander The Great? Was he… great?”.

“He conquered all the known world during the ancient Greek times and created a legacy that reached from West to East” you explained softly “... he was indeed great”.

Ivar’s eyes sparkled with interest.

“He was known as one of the biggest conquerors, in the antiquity” you went on spurred by Ivar’s interest “… it was a shame that…”.

“What was a shame?” pleaded you to go on Ivar.

“His entire legacy broke after his death” you continued “… his child barely survived enough to be crowned king and killed, meanwhile the others… they fought till Alexander’s great empire was broken apart”.

Ivar’s eyes now seemed to become frozen as he fell against the soft grass.

“It is what is happening with my father’s legacy”.

Again, silence fell, and you thought about prodding lightly the sleeping beast.

“… I am sorry about that” you mumbled, as you mimicked his position, turning to him, as he looked at the sky.

“That’s what always happen when a throne is left without an heir” he mumbled, as he continued to look up, before he turned to you lightly “… but these aren’t relaxing talks, aren’t they?”.

You just shot him a light look, as if to agree, and he brought himself up, moving to the basket of baked goodies, which were quite the distraction from the tougher thoughts as you found Ivar asking you a few questions, genuine interest in his eyes.

You couldn’t deny that it felt nice, and Ivar was smart and funny, enough to make you laugh out loud as he told you everything about the time that Hvitserk had stolen all the bread he could find just to find it devoured by birds.

And you told him all about the time that you and Kathleen once almost lost yourselves in the castle, since you had reached rooms you had never visited, just to be convinced of being followed by ghosts when you heard some strange noises.

Just to discover they were rats.

Something that had scared Kathleen much more than any ghost.

In the end with bellies full of laughter and food you both fall down onto the grass, as you looked up at sky, suddenly feeling Ivar’s eyes onto you, as they followed you, an unbelieving shade in them, as he retreated them and before you even knew it, your hand had darted out to his, gently tracing the different rougher spots inside of it.

The long fingers, and the uncured nails.

And everything seemed as natural as breathing to you.

And then your hand gently raised onto his arm, over the fabric of his tunic, and he let you, amusement shining in his eyes, as you moved up till you reached his shoulder, and then where his neck met his neck, making him giggle at the sensitive skin there.

You giggled almost in response, discovering that your Viking was ticklish, and then your hand moved down onto his chest, the strength of his muscles rumbling under your hands, as he raised onto his elbows, sending you a malicious look.

“Aren’t you curious, little princess?” but his eyes were adoringly, till something murky filled them, as your hand reached right onto his lower torso, and he gently grabbed with his, but with enough strength to make you understand that was all you’d have today.

And you couldn’t complain.

“Aren’t you curious about me too, husband?” your voice was breathless.

That was what Ivar’s body had rendered you, and those smartly wicked eyes…

“I wouldn’t want to scandalize you, little Christian” he retorted, showing you his tongue as you sent him an annoyed look.

“I am not Christian, how many times do I have to tell you?”.

“Then you won’t mind me…” and his hand moved onto your legs, raising itself up, till he found your thigh and he gripped it, making you squeal, but not out of uneasiness, as your cheeks became red.

You had never been treated like this.

Ivar’s touches held a tenderness tinted with a directness that had never been used with you, as his eyes asked for your consent.

“I don’t mind it” you teased him, pointing out each word, as an another hand, gently moved onto your own hand, meanwhile the other onto your thigh kept itself steady, but it still brought your mouth to open in a breathy mumble.

And he did the same as you had done with him, tracing the softness of your cured hands, then moving onto your lithe arms, nothing compared to his, as he graced just the tip of it against your light tunic, in a way that felt damnably ticklish.

He had come closer and before you knew it, he was so so close to you that you could almost taste the mead on his breath, as he opened his mouth to speak to you.

“You are beautiful”.

It wasn’t a compliment.

It was promise.

And then his warmth abandoned you, completely as he moved to his side, a sudden insecurity appearing in his eyes, and your body searching his warmth moved closer as an awkward silence fell on you, both.

You felt ashamed of wanting to feel his touch on every part of your body.

But it had felt oh so pleasurably.

“Ivar” you tried to call out to him “… don’t shut me out”.

Because it had all been perfect and then his insecurities had gotten in the way.

Another piece to the puzzle that Ivar was.

He was definitely reigned in by insecurities.

And then he turned to you, finally, and you came closer to him.

“… you made me feel so well, today” you admitted “… I haven’t laughed and felt so free, in so long”.

And it was the truth, even with Kathleen and Abigail there were certain parts of you that you wouldn’t be able to show, whether to protect them or simply because they were so utterly hidden.

But with Ivar…

… it felt good to ramble stupid facts you knew and see his eyes light up, as if he thought you were the smartest person ever.

And you had never been called ‘beautiful’.

But his words were utterly honest.

And so were yours.

“You are welcome” he seemed a big cat as he hissed out the words, but no aggression and you dared a step further, gently embracing him as he became still against you before relaxing.

And slowly he turned to you.

Again, you were so close that it was impossible for you not to think about what those lips would have tasted like.

“I know that I am still… not forgiven…” he seemed honestly a wounded puppy as he uttered those words “… but I’d die a happy man if I could kiss you, right now”.

And although everything you had been raised with screamed to you not to kiss him and your rational part agreed with that, it just felt so so good, that you simply nodded, closing your eyes, before you felt Ivar’s lips on yours.

The faint memory of your wedding kiss, having nothing to compare with the sheer intensity of this one, although Ivar was still attentive, caressing your lips to make them swell to their full bloom, almost as if he was tasting rose petals.

And you were right: his lips tasted of mead.

Then Ivar tried to deepen the kiss, something that you had never read or be told about, always thinking that a kiss was simply your lips against his, but something moist and sudden wetted the tip of your lips.

It took you by surprise and you shrieked, as you distanced yourself lightly by Ivar, as you realized he had been using his tongue.

Oh Gosh.

It hadn’t felt bad, it had actually felt good, but…

But that was a bit too much for you.

He seemed ashamed too, almost pained by your rejection.

“I didn’t mean to…” he tried to explain, and you just shook your head, as you carefully realized that your hair had been messed further by Ivar’s touches.

“I just… I didn’t know about…” and you flashed him your tongue, as Ivar’s eyes became again wicked and he sent you a teasing look, just to be decked by you on the shoulder, and he faked of being hurt.

“Gosh, Nanna is seriously training you”.

And you took this distraction to move on top of him, as you easily pushed yourself onto his torso, to further prove him that you weren’t somebody to be messed with, as the sound of laughter filled the clearing.

And you lowered yourself to shut Ivar up with a kiss of your own.

This time you wouldn’t have pulled back because of the tongue.

And just as you were inches apart you heard.

“Brother, (Y/N)!” and both you and Ivar raised your heads to find Ubbe and Hvitserk staring at you.

Embarrassment of having been caught in such an intimate position, coated both your cheeks, as you dismounted Ivar, hoping that the grass could hide you, as he turned to handle his brothers, crawling closer to them, and you busied yourself with getting everything in order.

“… what is it?” screeched Ivar, covering his embarrassment with the irritation of being interrupted resounding clearly in his tone.

And shame came back to you.

As much as you had felt with Ivar, and his gifts of the day, his talks and his laughter… you weren’t there to fall in love with him.

He was a ruthless man.

But everything he had done with you, from the gentleness of his touches to his insecurities, had been true.

It almost made you think that Ivar was at the truest with you.

That he wouldn’t have been your father.

Because he obviously cared for you.

“We are sorry to interrupt your…” mumbled sarcastically Hvitserk, sending you a knowing look as you flipped him off, as Halfdan had taught you to do “… courting”.

“English men are at the doors of the camping” was more direct Ubbe “… and they are asking to see her”.

And you had no doubt that with ‘her’, he meant you from the tone of his voice.

Now you had just to discover why the nation that had pushed you out, now wanted you back.

---

@youbloodymadgenius​​​​ @killerofthestars​​​​ @barnzbucky​​​​ @kideyz​​​​ @walkxthexmoon​​​​ @ sisionamissie @ serafina21  @ivetemptedfate​​​​ @fisherbrookphotos​​​​ @crispygiantsaladgarden​​​​ @didiintheblog​​​​ @ bagpipes606 @emilie1993​​​​ @ squids-for-knees @lauraaan182​​ @ietss​​​​ ​ @seirio-sa​​​ @ivyfatale​​​​ @distinguishedsaladoperawinner​​​​ @ fantasygirl1864 @ tayissexii-blog-blog @saldelys​​​​ @heavenly1927​​​​ @daenarys-dixon​​​​ @xwishax​​​​ @barefoot-in-the-night​​​​ @ ironwolfbailiffclam @loohsouzar​​​​ @mother-of-goddesses​​​​ @ crookedly-unique-student @ iammissdblog @invasion0fprivacy​​​​ @cheesedjunhoe​​​​ @wtfffffffffffffffffffffffffff​​​​​ @ where-are-you-everywhere @gracethegeek9902​​​​​ @suzem89​​​​​ @super-amberlynn​​​​​ @ohmy-sammy​​​​​ @thesoundofsouls​​​​​ @neyrriz​​​​​ @megzdoodle​​​​​ @ original-hbic @wanderingaroundwriting​​​​​ @lordsexmachine​​​​​ @rls905​​​​​ @poisonous00​​​​​ @ bingboopbong @warriorsonepiece​​​​​ @oo-michi-oo​​​​​ @gabby913​​​​​ @crazy-fan-101​​​​​ @sophiethegamer​​​​​ @fleursviolettes​​​​​ @ http-fvcksleep @lol-haha-joke​​​​​ @ntlmundy​​​​​ @notyourtypicalrose​​​​​ @ supernaturalvikingwhore @gold-dragon-slayer​​​​ @limbo-limbo-limbo​​​​ @ khalissechanel @annaoopeth​​​​​ @akaduds​​​​​ @ sunshine483aw @ardoreyes​​​​ @ietss​​​​​ @cute-thingy​​​​​ @ntlmundy​​​​​ @megzdoodle​​​​​ @ youbelongeverywhere @inforapound​​​​ @alexa4040​​​​​ @peaceisadirtyword​​​​​ (I hope you won’t mind me tagging you since you liked the previous chapters) @didiintheblog​​​ @maggiescarborough​​​ @stillreadingfantasy​​​ @ wonderlandofsu  @dudeidontcareaboutanything​​​ @alexhandersenx​​ @tempt-ress​​ @soleil-dor​​ @sadbutatleastsassy​ 

[directionoftime]

Turns Out, I Write Stuff

Well, after a long time hiding in fanfic (and then not writing it) and an even longer time not quiiiiiite getting* fantasy, I've decide to do A Thing. The Thing being to write stuff in a blog post. (And yes, I'll need a week to recover from this.) But the other things I've been doing is writing original fiction: novels!

For those who know me from FFN/AO3, you know I like my stories loooooooong!

But, all things considered, I'm rather new to the fantasy genre (I guess Naruto counts as fantasy, but does fan-fic????) and I've had a blast world and character building, I know I drew a lot from the fan-fic approach. Exposition? Never heard of her!

To the WIPs:

Sauvarin: As a blacksmith, playing with fire is her jam, but does she have to poke that many ghosts bears? To be fair to her, even the bears keep well away from the weird shit in The Woods, so... who else has she got to annoy? 

FEATURES: Sword lesbians! (Love interest: a local bootlegger in a town under prohibition) A scientist who just went to Live In The Woods because FUCK bureaucracy. Ghosts (magical ghosts). There's magic in that there music. Very ANGY magical cat made of metal (who may or may not be under the control of a certain nearby "cave"). The world is diverse and so is this story, no TERFs allowed in my fantasy lands! Just remember: life and death are transitory states - and the taiga remembers all who enter it.

BOTTOM LINE: we're all people, and the value of community should never be underestimated.

STATUS: complete! A short ~100K. Currently would love some beta-reader input (on a reciprocal basis, of course!) I’ve been “writing” this since 2014, when I thrashed out a version for NaNoWriMo and only recently came back to flesh out an old story I loved.

NOTES: dithers on the line of sci-fi, set future-earth with a lot of refs to space/tech and a whole bunch of chaotic scientists trying to understand this havoc-riddled world they once called the earth. Assumption this “magic” can be scienced. 

And We Were Given Trees: Imagine dressing up as you local deity to get the magic-police off your back, who think you're One Of Them, only... for your actual god to show up and ask but a single, earnest question: Am I a joke to you?

FEATURES: Ma-ma-ma-magic. Classes of magic. (This magic can be faked, who knew? Probably the same people who think Rube Goldberg machines can be put to good use). Dark woods containing Aesthetique Castle. Sexy god lady - and she's not bound by your hetero-normative agenda, Carol. The superstitious are as cruel as they are easy to fool. Frightening, really, how quickly a simple message get diluted by greed.

BOTTOM LINE: surface level alterations are no substitute for meaningful, intentional change.

STATUS: about 2k in?? Again, would love some early feedback, since this is a very heavy world-build story, much more hard-fantasy than S, so at the moment, unsure how steep the learning curve should be (??)

NOTES: provisional title so far. This is currently same-universe as Sauvarin, but a completely different cast of characters/area of the world/period in time, but might change, planning a bit of a "universe" series, of different characters/setting/stages of change, showing the magic systems at different levels of "evolution". 

I'm not much a part of the writeblr community yet, but I would love to get more involved. So here is an attempt on my part! I would love to offer some beta-reading/critiques to any who are looking, or join up with any existing beta-circles. I am currently half-way through an MA in creative writing myself but FUCK this pandemic is a pain in my ass. As I’m sure it has been for everyone!

Many thanks to @writeblrfantasy for offering so many great links and a friendly welcome. Hello @inky-duchess, thanks to you, too, for the welcome! And to @pens-swords-stuff for such useful writeblr advice on your blog.

I extend my “hellos” to @magic-is-something-we-create and @stardustspiral, I’m sure there are plenty more in the community I hope to meet soon.

Gosh, I’ve been here five minutes and you’re all so friendly! ^_ ^ Damn motivation is a helluva drug! 

*By which I mean reading a lot of old fantasy where the only interesting thing about it was weird-looking people and cool lands, of male characters getting endless perfection and female characters getting to be a pair of boobs on legs but no sense of characters or arcs or development. I know that stuff was out there but young me didn't know how to find it. 

[bebetae]

this is my first time reading any of your works, and i am so glad that repeat until death was what introduced me to your beauty of a blog. i've read the warnings, and as much as i can say that i expected heartbreak, it was definitely not in the way i expected it. even though the fic was surrounded around the reader and jaemin's, what feels like, star-crossed relationship, i think jaeyoung and y/n's friendship was what really stuck out to me. every part and every word of the fic was just so powerful, yet subtle and i don't think i can move on from such a story. you made me feel so many feelings; sorrow, empathy, joy and frustration, and even though i'm no professional, i think that's what makes an amazing writer. you are the embodiment of amazing, and repeat after death will always be one of my favorite fics from this moment on. thank you.

oh my gosh—

thank you so much. this actually made my day. reading comments and feedback like this just makes all the stress and effort of writing for an insignificant blog seem worth it.

i agree with your comment about jaeyoung and y/n’s friendship. i feel like i focused on and centered a lot more of the fic on their relationship and used jaemin as a reminder of her. your analysis is spot on.

i hope i can continue writing fics that bring out emotions in my readers and followers. iloveu<3

[theultimatenonbinarynerd]

The Soldier Who Carried A Mighty Sword

So I'm back with another one of my post putting others first one-shots. Warning if you're a Roman or Remus stan you're going to kill me. This is pure angst and is one of the only ways I will understand the sides mistreatment of Roman and Remus. So I hope you enjoy and please feel free to leave constructive feedback. All Creativitwin hate is band.

Synopsis: Janus feels horribly guilty for upsetting the twins. Remus and Roman are absolutely shocked when they find Janus in his room crying, holding a picture of King Creativity. After finding out how much the others miss the King, the twin's force Thomas to refuse them.

Tw: Major Character Deaths.

t had been a few hours since the video and the twins knew that they had to talk it out with Janus. Reluctantly Roman walked up to Janus's door and knocked on it. No answer! Remus conjured a hairpin and picked the lock. The creative twins did not expect to see Janus curled up on his bed holding a picture of what looked like the King.

"Jay?"

"What do you want Remus, in fact, why are you even here Roman, I hurt you. Gosh, he would kill me if he saw how badly I treated you both."

"Well, I was just gonna apologise for making fun of your name and hoped we could work things out but it appears your not in the mood right now."

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Talk about him, look Janus I didn't realise that I reminded you of him."

"Roman, he was so much like you, your correct. Remus, he had your energy and smile. He was full of wonderful ideas."

"Jay, can you tell us about him?"

"How much do you remember?"

"Nothing I just remember passing out and waking up in Logan's room."

"I remember the pain the agony and then waking up in your room."

"Well then, promise me you won't freak out when I confess to you the truth."

"Pinky promise, with a rotten head on a stick."

"Janus, I promise over my life that I will never laugh at you ever again during a vulnerable moment."

"Well, I um, me and Romulus were in love. We dated for two years before he split. Everyone loved Romulus, he was really close with Logan as well."

"What!"

"Oh my gosh, that makes so much sense now.

"What makes sense Roman?"

"The way you treated me back in the courtroom, you did mean those compliments but it was because I reminded you of him. It makes sense why Logan always clashed with me, now I know why."

"He doesn't mean it in that way Roman, he just really misses him, I really miss him and I truly mean it when I say that I didn't mean to call you both evil. H-he."

Janus collapsed sobbing in Remus's lap. Roman sighed stroking Janus's hair.

"I really am sorry."

"I know."

"Can you tell us more."

"W-well he always used to keep everyone together, thanks to him we dark sides and light sides got along. He was good and bad, he was human. Always looking out for everybody but not himself."

Seeing this made Remus and Roman feel worse. They comforted Janus and tucked him into bed. The twins sunk down and appeared in their usual spot. Thomas flinched almost dropping his video game controller.

"Um hey guys, I wasn't expecting to see you guys again for a while especially you Roman."

"Thomas let's get straight to the point we want you to refuse us back into the King!"

"N-no!"

"I'm sorry what?"

"Thomas we're in the way of you learning to live with grey morals. I mean look at me im just a stinky trash man."

"No your not-"

"We are Thomas today I just learnt that I was hurting you instead of helping you. The wedding hurt you and that's on me. You said I wasn't your hero anymore. King was grey you need him."

"I don't want to lose you."

"Thomas I just showed myself to you recently."

"I don't care if I barely know you, Remus, I'm not refusing my creativity just because you think you're hurting me."

"Thomas im sorry but its time to bring him back."

"No Roman."

"You no longer see things as black and white. This is for the best."

"The others don't like us, they need the King to make them feel happy again."

Thomas broke down into tears, he knew they were right but he didn't want the twins to die. He realised that he could always unfuse the King if he wasn't happy. He cried further pulling the twins's into a tight hug.

"Roman, I'm so sorry for ignoring you were insecure and confusing you so much. Janus never lied you are my hero and it's because of you im where I am today. I'm sorry for putting so much pressure on you and never defending you when the others insulted you.

Remus, I'm so sorry for separating you from Roman. You deserved to work on ideas with Roman and not shoved to the side. I'm so sorry for repressing you, being scared of you and casting you to the side. Both of you deserved a host way better than me."

Remus and Roman, we're both in tears. They honestly didn't know-how

to respond to such heartfelt comments from their host. So they stayed quiet and comforted the distressed Thomas.

Janus woke up from his nap when he heard a knock on the door. He held the picture of Romulus close to his heart.

"You may enter."

When he saw Romulus at the door he was in shock and denial. The picture frame immediately fell to the ground and glass shattered everywhere. Romulus smiled politely, snapping away the broken shards of glass.

"Hello, love."

The End

[deadbiwrites]

Hi there! Meta ask 3?

3- Thing I’ve always wanted to write but can’t be assed to set up properly:

Oh gosh...

I have so many au ideas I wanna do, but I’d LOVE to get back to the original work I was working on when I got sucked into SC (which, ironically, is indeed about a girl and her superpowered best friend/roomie)...

(a snippet of my original work, Super-Duper, just for you)

I wish I could say that I’ve never woken up in a strange place, sore in places I didn’t know I had, with a killer headache and a rolling stomach, no memory of how I’d gotten there.

Then again, if I had any choice in the matter, I’d also rather not have previous experience being suspended over what appears to be a sea of magma while chained to a crane that’s lowering me ever-so-slowly toward my death.

But, you know, whatever.

“Uh, hello?” I try. Usually they want to monologue or gloat or something when they capture me. I just hope this one doesn’t have a monotone voice. Nothing worse than being lectured- for quite possibly hours on end- by someone who sounds like Ferris Bueller’s teacher....

Nothing.

It’s dark, the only lights coming from the superheated rock far beneath my feet, and duh, it’s really hot, obviously. If you’ve never had the unique pleasure of a nose full of brimstone, I envy you, for it is both unpleasant and long lasting. The crane, or whatever this chain- and therefore my unlucky self- is hooked up to must be somewhere near the top of this big, empty dark cave full of magma and-

‘Holy shit, is this actually a volcano?! Did some idiot actually plop me into an active volcano?!’

Panic rising slightly, I try calling out again. “Anyone there?”

Still nothing but my own echo.

Well, now I’m getting pissed. I’ve been kidnapped from my home (I think), I’m tired and thirsty, the chains are biting into my skin, I’m definitely going to be late for work (if I don’t die), and I have some serious boob-sweat happening, and this douchebag can’t even be bothered to talk to me? Hell no.

“Damn, what’d you do, kidnap me just to-”

“BEHO-” 

The grand entrance is interrupted by a long, excruciatingly loud screech of feedback. Not a promising start. I hear muttered cussing in the background.

Still cringing, I shout, “Move the mic away from the speakers!”

The feedback cuts off abruptly and I heave a sigh of relief. Few things on this earth are as irritating as the cacophony of microphone feedback.

“...thank you,” a voice mumbles, significantly quieter than when he began.

I almost feel bad that his big moment was ruined by technical difficulties. But then I remember that this person has kidnapped and very likely drugged me, and I get over it.

“What do you want with me? Who are you? Where am I?” I yell, making a show of struggling against my bonds while actively not struggling against them. All that’s below me is the magma, and I’m not falling into that.

“I am The Geologist! And as for YOU?” the voice booms out. “I don’t want anything with you. You’re a useless Mundane who can’t even remember to lock her own door!”

‘Dammit, Avery, we’ve talked about that a thousand times...’

“Also, your apartment is appalling. Papers everywhere, dirty clothes on every surface, a certain... Smell,” he continues, clearly disturbed by my (admittedly unique) home.

“What can I say, my roommate’s a slob,” I say with a shrug, careful to not disturb the chains holding me. “She’s never been much of a cleaner. And those clothes are clean, usually, thank you very much.”

“Then why on earth would you live with her?” he asks, sounding rather baffled.

“She’s good at other things. Plus, she always pays her half of the rent on time,” I respond, shrugging again. “So, if it isn’t me you want, what the hell am I doing here? Someone has clearly pissed you off, since I’m dangling over magma.”

“Lava,” he corrects smugly.

“No, it’s magma,” I sigh. Villains never know the difference between lava and magma. “We’re underground, and it hasn’t broken through the earth yet. So it’s magma.”

“Semantics,” he dismisses tightly.

“Sure. So, who pissed you off?” I ask.

“A friend of yours. Tall, athletic, possibly brunette?” 

“That could be a lot of people,” I say evasively.

“Has super-strength, the ability to manipulate electromagnetics, and she can throw bolts of electricity? Goes by ‘The Spark’?”

“See, that does narrow it down...” I muse. “But I’m pretty sure I don’t have any friends matching that description. If you were looking for a short frumpy blonde, then I could help you. But I’m pretty sure she can’t fly. Enid talks to cats-”

“No, I want The Spark!”

“-although,” I continue contemplatively, “I’m not sure if that’s a superpower thing or a lonely person thing... I should stop by more often.”  

“Enough!” he yells. I’m noticing his voice gets all high and shrill when he’s really upset. “I don’t care about your cat lady, I want The Spark!”

“Never heard of her,” I reply blandly.

“She’s the most famous Super in your area! In the whole state!”

“Dude, it’s Michigan. ‘Most famous Super in Michigan’ isn’t saying a lot. It isn’t exactly Metropolis-”

“Shut up!”

“-although parts of Detroit remind me of Gotham. Very post-apocalyptic…”

 And then I’m falling. Or, more accurately, I’m dropping. He’s dropping me into the magma.

Typical.

[whatshername-please]

Out of the Water - Chapter III

Synopsis: You were very proud to be a mermaid, thank you very much. You didn’t want to be where the people were. Actually, you’d rather avoid it. Defending the merfolk was the biggest goal in your life… well, it was until you meet a certain pirate… it seems that your family really had a thing for humans, after all. Not that you’d ever admit it…

Pairing: Harry x reader

Word count: 3564

Part 3 of ?

Warnings: none? Possibly grammar mistakes? Also, some cuss words

A/N: English isn’t my first language, so I’ll probably mess up some tenses, grammar and stuff. Go easy on me, please. Feedback is always appreciated.

_________________________________________

“Maybe it’s contemporary art”

You pointed at the destroyed painting on the floor which made Mal stare at you in disbelief. Ok, maybe now wasn’t the best time for light hearted jokes.

Thus, it was probably better not to say anything about the curtains being all torn up since no one took notice of them…

Ben’s castle was not very different from the rest of Auradon: dead silent and a wicked atmosphere hovered in the air. Well, it was until everyone started searching for the king.

Everyone was calling for Ben but that made absolutely no sense, you thought. If Audrey had gone to the castle, she’d have turned Ben to stone or something, making impossible for him to answer. All the noise would just draw her attention, if she didn’t already know you were there which was very likely, by the way.

Really, why couldn’t she set Ben’s clothes on fire, break his favorite clock, shave his eyebrows? It’d have been so much easier to deal with.

Humans always had to make everything more difficult, hadn’t they?

You had gone through the whole the castle and found no one and also Dude had lost the track of Ben’s scent, the best option now would be to go back to Auradon Prep since it was the last place Audrey was seen at. But of course Mal wasn’t entirely convinced that the castle was empty and you were checking the last room left: it was a large hall full of coats of arms, vitrals and armors.

Why were there so many armors? Questionable decorating choice, if someone asked you. And unless Ben was hiding inside one of them, he wasn’t there either. Coming to Ben’s castle had been a completely waste of time.

“Hey!” someone called you, way too over-excited. “We weren’t properly introduced yet, I’m Gil”

The muscular boy extended his hand smiling widely at you. You shook his hand, presenting yourself.

“Are you a princess?” he asked. While Harry called you a princess with disdain, Gil appeared to be genuily interested in you, then again, he was fascinated by everything in Auradon, from the leaves on the trees to the berries in the bushes.

“I am” you answered him.

It seemed to be physically impossible, but his smile grew even bigger than before.

“I’ve never met a princess before. Your highness” he bowed and then looked at you with gleaming eyes “Have I done it right?”

Gil looked very proud of himself and it broke your heart. It was infuriating to think how many wonderful kids were stuck and forgotten on that Isle. For 20 years no one thought or cared about them, even now most people believed that the Isle’s inehabitants were dangerous and past redemption. You dared King Beast to look in Gil’s eyes and say he was a criminal who deserved to be punished for the rest of his life.

“Yes, you did. But you don’t have to do it, really.” you said and he nodded in agreement. Ok, you decided, out of Uma’s friends Gil was your favorite.

All you wanted to do was to find Audrey and go back home, but what was an already difficult task in itself was getting even harder because of Uma and Mal incessant bickering. You tried to ignore when Mal said she wandered what fried octopus tasted like. One thing that never entered humans’ head was that mermaids and fishes were friends, one day you were hanging out with a squid or a crab and suddenly they were fished and eaten by some unfeeling human. Sebastian still had nightmares about the time he got trapped inside your uncle’s…

Oh, wait. Did that armor just move?

Shit.

Everyone noticed it too, excepting Uma and Mal because they were too distracted fighting with each other.

“Girls!” Harry yelled “We have a situation here”. You wished you had a phone to take a picture of Uma’s face at this moment. She looked outraged by the audacity of Harry to cut her off.

At least now everyone was completely aware of that all the armors in that cursed place were moving towards you and ready to cut you all into tiny pieces. Drawing back wasn’t even an option since you were completely surrounded, the only chance you had to get out of this mess would be to fight.

WHY WERE THERE SO MANY ARMORS? If you survived this, you’d have a long talk to Ben about interior design.

Good thing everyone was optimistic about defeating them because, by your account, you were way outnumbered… not that Uma and Mal seemed to care since they were quarreling again. Evie was the one who got fed up with all the nonsense and stepped in and, while she tried to talk them into their senses again, you took the comb from your hair, ready to make it assume its true form. If Fairy Godmother didn’t have a rule against magic… or weapons being unnecessarialy used, you wouldn’t even bother changing your trident into a hair comb. You looked super badass carrying your trident around like the bitching sea queen you were…

Would be….

Whatever…

“Will you really brush your hair now, princess?”

That.

Mocking.

Tone.

Again.

You could either punch him right now or wait for an enchanted knight to do it…. but you had a better idea.

His eyes widened and his mouth dropped open when he saw the comb that had been in your hand the moment before become an imponent trident. You watched with delight that ridiculous smirk on his face change into a shocked face. It always amazed you the look people made when they realized that your cute hair pin could make someone bleed to death, and Harry Hook did not disappoint you.

That would answer his question about your fighting skills.

The jerk.

But you had no time to think any further about Harry Hook and his pesky presence, the knights were near and you had a battle to face.

————–

It was official, you hated the human world and the ridiculous armors they used as house decoration. If Belle and the Beast (did he even have a name or his name was really Beast? Whatever…) hadn’t decide that every single corner of that castle needed to have a knight’s suit, you wouldn’t have had to be dodging swords attacks coming from every single angle that you could think of. It didn’t matter how hard or fast you hit them or that they were too heavy to react because they were enchanted. They could be slow to strike, but they neither got tired nor hurt, so you could attack them as much as you wanted and it didn’t make any difference, you were just scratching the metal. They were many and you were only 8, this wasn’t a fair battle, at all

“We need magic to defeat those things” you shouted to Mal while hitting a knight right in his chest, he stumbled a little but regained his balance fast enough. At the same time that you avoided another hit, you caught a glimpse of Harry who was close to you and unaware of the armor approachinh him from behind.

C'mon Harry, turn around…

Gosh, you had to do everything.

The knight striked again, but you avoided the blow. Taking this as a cue, you ran towards Harry and, as you did so, you managed to knock down the armor that was ready to attack the pirate. The sound of metal hitting the floor made the boy turn his head, he saw the armour laying on the floor and gave you a surprised look; either the boy didn’t expect you were able to fight or he didn’t expect that you would put yourself at risk to help him.

“You can thank me later” you said already attacking another hellish knight.

Thank goodness Mal had heard you and decided to use her magic against the cursed armors and before you could blink, the knights stopped moving and fell in the middle of the room.

It was about time.

Everyone was celebrating the victory, there were no more Uma’s crew or Mal’s gang, all of them were friends and, well… it ended as fast as it started. In one second they were cheering and laughing and in the other they rememrebed they didn’t like each other. The friendliness lasted two seconds, it was a new record.

Both gangs walked away from each other, Uma and her pirates stood on one side, and Mal and the VKs stood on the other. Celia and you decided to stay away watching them from afar.

Evie, who seemed determined to make everyone to get along, proposed an icebreaker and it took all your willpower to not to laugh at your friends’ faces upon hearing this. You have never heard so many groans or seen people looking away so fast in your life: Uma was probably deliberating all the choices she did in her life and looked like she could use a drink, or five, while Gil was just confused. Carlos and Jay were clearly unconfortable and would prefer to sleep forever than to go through this, and the only reason Mal didn’t shut Evie down right at the spot was because she dind’t want to hurt the girl’s feelings. And Harry…

It was a surprise to you when he didn’t come up with some ironic comment. Actually, he looked rather astonished when Evie complimented him and it appeared he was about to reply her before Uma cut him off.

And then she and Mal restarted their usual bickering.

Maybe the icebreaker wasn’t a bad idea, after all.

“Summer School?” Harry laughed “No wonders she wants revenge”.

Not that you’d ever say it out loud, but the pirate had a valid point.

Finally, they decided on following Uma’s initial plan to the joy of the sea witch’s daughter. Apparently, Audrey was still in Auradon Prep, so the girls would go and check her room for clues, and the boys would look out for Ben.

Everyone was ready to leave, but before the team split you spoke up.

“Actually, I’m going with the guys, ok?”

“Why?” Mal questioned you, raising an eyebrow.

“Because if Audrey shows up it’s better that at least one person knows how to use magic” you explained.

“No, the amber is the only thing that can defeat her, you wouldn’t stand a chance” Mal was clearly annoyed that you were holding them back, but you ignored the whay she glared at you and went on.

“Even so, I may be able to hold her off with my trident. You, Uma and Evie got brains, strenght and magic. Jay, Carlos, Gil and Harry, on the other hand….”

Your eyes lingered on the boys in front of you who, you knew for a fact, would kill each other in the first opportunity.

“Too edgy” you pointed to Jay.

“Too pure” and Carlos.

“Too bubbly” Gil.

“Too…” you looked Harry up and down and shrugged “Honestly? I can’t even describe him.”

Mal went silence for a moment, deliberating whay you had said, while everyone else was staring at you with a look you knew too well. It was the famous “I can’t believe she actually said that” face.

“Fine, you proved your point” Mal finally declared and the ofended look on Jay’s face almost made you laugh. You’d have to apolize to him later… But right now you had a king to find before Mal snapped at you again.

You and the guys left the castle and followed Dude, who had detected Ben’s scent.

“I’m not edgy” said Jay with a pout, looking too adorable to be taken seriously.

“Didn’t you almost break your arm trying to learn R.O.A.R just for the sake of beating Chad? Or what about that time when you got into a fight with a guy twice your size because he said the only reason you won the tourney game was because everybody on the other team was scared to come near a villain kid? ” you asked him.

“Hey! You were encouraging me!” he reminded you, laughing about the incident.

“I was not” you denied, putting your hand on your chest in a mocking manner “How dare you to suggest I’d ever do something like that”. You tried to make a serious face, but broke into a smile in a matter of seconds as you remembered that day. "Did we punch him, though? I can’t recall".

“No, Carlos stopped us… he is too pure” the VK teased, and Carlos didn’t take it kindly. As he passed by the both of you, he hit Jay’s arm hard enough to make his friend yelp.

“Come back here, Carlos” Jay called and ran after him “I was only joking”.

You giggled.

Humans, what dorks.

Minding your own business, you kept walking silently. Your friends were ahead, making sure to not lose Dude from their sight. Things appeared to be safe, at least for now, so you decided to change your trident into its pocket version, and with one quick motion of your hand, it became a hair comb again.

“How do you do that?” it was Gil who asked and he seemed utterly puzzled by your trident.

“Oh, it’s magic.” you said while Gil observed with narrowed eyes you place the enchanted comb in your hair, the boy was staring so intensively at it that looked like he was wainting for the comb to burst into flames or something “It’s no big deal, really”

“Yeah, you’re probably used by it, right? But we don’t have magic on the Isle…” he looked down, ashamed of being impressed by something that was so ordinary to you, and you felt terrible. You didn’t mean to upset him.

“Oh no, I mean… I just never really thought about it…” you tried to explain.

“Of course you didn’t, why do people in Auradon would think how their lives are perfect?” Harry, who had been oddly quiet, spoke. However, if he were expecting you to ague with him, he’d be disappointed. The pirate could get on your nerves but you couldn’t be a hypocrite and deny all the privileges you had just because you were born on the “right” side of the barrier.

Of course Harry didn’t know that was how you felt about the barrier and took the lack of a response as an confirmation.

“How nice it must be to have everything, huh?” he tried to sound cynical, but you could hear the hurt and bitterness in his voice.

“King Triton has a trident too, you know.” Gil said absently, ignoring completely the tension between Harry and you “It was on the Isle two years ago, we almost got it”

“Yeah I know. I nearly killed my cousin when I discovered she messed up with grandpa’s trident” you remembered like it was yesterday. Your cousin Arabella decided she wanted to prove her worth by summoing a storm using your grandfather’s magical trident. If this wasn’t reckless enough, she also lost the trident that ended up on the Isle. Thanks to Mal and her gang the trident was recoreved before your grandfather noticed it was gone.

What a day.

“Wait, your grandfather? Are you…?” Gil’s eyes widened when he realized who you were.

“Yeap, King’s Triton granddaughter, that’s me.” you finished his sentence, very proud of being who you were.

“Then you are a mermaid!” the blond boy’s eyes moved to your legs and he frowned at them, as if he couldn’t understand what they were doing there “If you are a mermaid, where is your fishtail?”

You chuckled and explained. It wasn’t the first time someone asked you that, but you didn’t mind. Actually, everytime you had the chance to brag about being a mermaid, you did it.

“When I need to be on land I turn into a human”

“Uma is Ursula’s daughter, did you know that?” it amazed you how Gil was capable of saying anything in such a light manner. Most people would be very cautious about speaking of the former villain of someone’s family in their presence but not Gil, he definitely didn’t mind bringing the subject up.

If you knew that Uma was the sea witch’s daughter? IF YOU KNEW THAT. You have been talking about this girl for years and, in the past months, you literally hid her in your room. YOU DID KNEW THAT.

This was what you really wanted to say, but instead you laughed it off “I think I’ve heard her name a few times”.

“Is it his trident?” it was Harry the one making a question now and, for the first time, he seemed genuinely curious and not just being sarcastic or cunning.

“Oh no… it was a gift from him, actually. It’s not as powerful as his, though. But it’s good enough” one thing that never ever bothered you was to talk about your life as a mermaid. If someone ever decided to write a tale about you, people would stop thinking that every mermaids’ wish was to become human.

You just loved being a mermaid and nothing would ever change that.

“What can it do?” he inquired, taking a closer look at the comb in your hair. He was wondering about the damage that could cause, no doubt.

“It can control water, for the most part. But is also good to beat the shit out of my enemies”

He smiled.

Harry Hook had sincerely smiled at you.

Maybe people were right, maybe you were born on the Isle and were switched at birth with some kid from Auradon. It would explain your talent for befriending villain kids.

You have never made friends easily, better saying, people didn’t want to be friends with you because of your reputation of being temperamental and moody, which wasn’t entirely true. You just didn’t care about being on the spotlight or doing what people expected you to do. Did you have to to sing along with woodland creatures just because you were a princess? Your area of expertise was marine life, for crying out loud. Squirrels and mice freaked you out! Once, a guy asked you on a date and thought it would be a good idea to go to a sea food restaurant!

You weren’t moody, humans were the ones who had the emotional range of a barnacle.

Also, a lot of people in Auradon were too self-absorbed, they thought everyone had a lovely happy life like them. Everytime you brought the Isle up they said you were overreacting and that it couldn’t be that bad. You wondered if they could see the black clouds that covered the place or if they even remembered that all Auradon’s leftovers were sent there.

You tried to be patiente but sometimes -well, most of times- you could not help yourself and ended up speaking your mind. At least from now on, you could claim that you have never cursed anyone out of spite.

Thanks, Audrey.

“If we’re getting to know each other, I have a question for you” you said to Harry who arched an eyebrow, curious about what you were going to say “Is your accent real?”

He blinked in confusion, not sure if he had heard you right.

“Yes! What kind of question is that?” he was perplexed by what you asked. Harry wasn’t used to people commenting on his accent and the times someone had said something about it, it was always to make fun of him - and Harry always made sure they learned not to do it again. So, he didn’t know if you were serious or simply mocking him.

“I don’t know. I believed you were being dramatic, to be honest. The eyeliner, the coat… The accent could very well be part of your pirate aesthetic” You didn’t want to sound rude or anything, you honestly imagined the accent was only him being theatrical, but since he didn’t answer right away (not even a ironic remark), you added quickly “It’s a lovely accent, it suits you”.

At first, you expected him to shut you down or tell you to fuck off. However, as he didn’t reply anything, you thought you really had offended the boy. You were ready to apologize (you could be the sea bitch, but you weren’t rude…). Instead, he bursted into laughter and you frowned, not understanding what was so funny to make Harry Hook laugh like that.

That boy was completely unpredictable.

“It’s not an aesthetic, lass. I’m a pirate” it was the first time since you met that Harry seemed so amused and it wasn’t at someone’s expanses. “Why did you think this?”

“Well, you do walk around carrying a hook” you pointed to the sharp object he kept holding since the moment you laid your eyes on him.

“And who are you to judge? You have a magical trident in your hair.”

It was your turn to laugh, maybe Harry wasn’t that bad.

“Fair enough, I can’t argue against it” you agreed with him,

Upon hearing your words, his mouth twisted into a smug grin…

“I knew you would warm up to me, princess”

Yeah, you took back what you thought seconds before, Harry Hook was insufferable. You huffed in annoyance and walked away from him and his pompous attitude.

Humans were never worth the stress.

[cyberneticfandoms]

Disorientation

(Credit to Void!Al goes to @daydream-squad !)

(Previous Chapter: Rude Awakening)

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

TW: Referenced death, Cursing, implied starvation

~~~

“Oh my gosh, this is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen Mr. Alastor do! I just wanna hop in there and hug him until-”

“Shh, Niff, you don’t wanna wake ‘em up,” A gruff voice interrupted the overeager chirping coming from the little maid. There was a sloshing sound that Alastor could place as a bottle of alcohol even in his half-awake state, and his brows furrowed in confusion. What were Husk and Niffty doing in his room?

....What was he doing in his room?

Even with the lingering confusion, the deer was currently swaddled in warmth and didn’t plan on moving as he snuggled closer to his heat source. Something fluffy was tickling his nose and he scrunched it up as the smell of strawberries of all things assaulted his senses. Cracking an eye open, white fur overtook most of his vision. Hm. His source of warmth also appeared to be breathing steadily beneath him.

“Oh shit, he’s processing,” Husk commented helpfully.

Processing...Oh. Oh. Propping himself up, eyes blown comically wide, the deer realized he was staring at Angel Dust’s sleeping face. Because Alastor was laying on top of him. The spider’s arms were still wrapped around his back, unconsciously trying to pull him back down to cuddle.

There was a second where the deer froze, a screech of feedback escaping, before he jerked away, kicking out and knocking the porn-star unceremoniously to the floor with a thud.

“Ow- Shit! What the hell-” Angel’s head popped back up, a hand pressed to his aching forehead while his eyes refocused. He was about to comment on Husk’s snort of amusement before Alastor caught his attention again. The deer was frozen stiff, arms hugging his chest, and expression a mix of mortified and confused. Angel was quick to remember the events prior to this morning and splay out his hands in a placating manner as he slowly stood.

“Okay, look, nothing happened! I was kinda worried about ya freakin’ out about this, but- we were just cuddling, I promise!” Alastor’s eyes flicked across the spider's face. “Al, I wouldn’t do anything without consent, you know that. I wouldn’t take advantage of you. You were just panicking last night and didn’t want to be left alone, remember?”

Now that he mentioned it...Last night was rather blurry, but Alastor did recall a humiliating amount of...clinging and...panicking. And now Angel was giving him a patient, mildly hurt, look that made him feel all the worse for jumping to conclusions. Dropping his hands into his lap, the tension seeped out of the deer as fast as it’d come.

“I...My apologies, Angel dear! I had a lapse in judgement, and it won’t happen again!” Did his voice sound energetic enough? Alastor was doing his best to project, but Husk was giving him a strange look that the deer couldn’t place. Oh well. He focused his attention back on the spider. “Are you alright? I didn’t mean to kick-” A loud rumble cut in, startling Alastor as he turned claws on his stomach at the oh-so-familiar pain. His eyes went a bit wider. Oh no, what happened with Charlie would not be allowed to happen again!

Husk and Niffty threw a look at each other before the little maid darted to the nightstand, then to the bed, all but flinging herself into the deer’s chest with her package. Alastor flinched letting out a startled ‘oof’ before quickly enveloping the younger demon in a hug. He had missed her dearly…it felt so nice to hold someone in his arms for the first time in what seemed to be ages. It was…unusual for him.

“Mr. Alastor, we’ve missed you so much!” she chirped, “You were gone and I cleaned the hotel so many times and set things up for the new patrons and cooked for the hotel and it was kind of a lot and the food was never as good as yours but-!” Niffty fired about twenty words per second at the deer - it was a good thing he’d grown used of her manner of speech - but it was still a bit difficult to comprehend much at the moment.

“Darling, slow down! It sounds like you did a marvelous job in my…absence… I couldn’t stand the thought of never hearing your voice again, so it’s only appropriate that I came back isn’t it-?“ Alastor paused at the watery sniffle and the wetness that dripped onto his arm.

Niffty’s big eye was brimming with tears, the little maid hardly holding them back. That made Alastor freeze before pulling her back into the embrace, ears drooping. “It’s alright dear, I’m back now… I don’t plan on dying…again.” The thought alone made his throat catch and his hands tremble, but the idea of needlessly breaking down again left a sour taste in his mouth. One time was too many. Niffty was the one in need of comfort.

“Dry those tears, doll,” he added in a softer tone, swiping a few of the tears away with his thumb, “and smile! You know you’re-“

“-never fully dressed without one,” she finished with him, letting out a little giggle. Alastor widened his own grin for emphasis, earning another shaky laugh before the little maid was pressing something warm and metallic into his hands. He glanced down curiously at the…thermos?

“It’s more broth,” Angel supplied helpfully, smiling a bit at the adorable pair. Not that he’d ever call Alastor adorable to his face- he liked breathing just a bit too much…Hm, it could be worth it to see the deer's expression, though. “Charlie said you couldn’t keep the first bowl down, and after last night you were out like a light faster than she could come back.”

Alastor took this in for all of two seconds before he was hurriedly uncapping the bottle. Niffty grabbed the bottom, narrowing her eye with a chiding, “Slowly!” before the deer could just chug it again. Alastor flashed a smaller smile but did as asked, tipping the bottle back and gulping down the contents slowly. Oh, Lucifer, he missed this.

Thankfully the deer was able to stop himself before getting sick this time, but Niffty stared intently when he went paler at the ensuing nausea. He waved the concern away. The feeling of fullness wouldn’t last long – it never did – but neither would it be as unattainable as it was in the Void… The sickness swirling in the deer’s stomach was unfortunately expected, but it was preferred to the constant, stabbing ache.

With a contented hum, he lowered the thermos to his lap, lightly pulling it away when Niffty tried to take it back. There was still some broth left. Alastor didn’t plan on giving up the food any time soon. She gave him a strange look but didn't push the issue.

Now it might be possible to think clearly. Surely, he had lost time to make up for! What did Charlie do without his help? Who was monitoring his radio tower? Did his absence affect the other overlords? There was simply no time to rest with so much to do!

“Right, well thank you for your company Angel Dust, Niffty for your care, and Husk for your…unusually pointed glaring! But I have much to catch up with and so little time!” Alastor shuffled to the edge of the bed prompting Niffty to jump down as he stood, summoning his staff with a gesture and going to step forward.

Three things went wrong in that moment. First, the deer’s legs buckled the instant they were on solid ground. Next, his microphone began screeching feedback, the eye that was normally so focused on him, darting erratically around the room. Last, but not least concerning, a sharp pain lodged itself in his chest, the traditional tug of magic replaced by a tearing sensation in his very core. It definitely felt like he was back in Hell with the static blaring in the room, his own thoughts becoming incoherent once again.

Alastor would never admit to being relieved that someone was there to catch him when his microphone and the container slipped from his grasp, staff clattering to the floor while making that horrid sound. Husk yowled, hands jerking up to cover his ears, Niffty had thrown herself down to grab the discarded thermos before broth could spill everywhere, and Angel Dust was the one to latch onto the deer before he could hit the floor.

“Alastor, turn that shit off!” Husk snarled, fur standing on end as he pressed his ears further down.

Alastor could certainly try to oblige! His own ears were similarly flattened against his head, but he was able to snap his fingers and unsummon the staff, making the static come to an abrupt stop except for the little bit still rolling out of his own chest. Now everyone looked to be in a disheveled state.

“Well,” Alastor broke the silence that followed, attempting to pull away from Angel and stand on his own, “that was certainly unexpected! But I still have things I need to-“

“Sit the fuck down, asshole!” Husk snapped, wings flaring as he shot a look to Angel. The spider’s eyes went wider, but he offered a nod, turning and pushing the deer to sit on the bed again.

“Uh, yeah Al, you’ve got to stay here. You didn’t let anyone explain shit to ya and you’re obviously in no condition to leave.” Angel crossed his top set of arms, the lower pair resting on his hips and making him look more like a sassy warden than a porn-star.

The deer's own claws began to sharpen, digging into the sheets at the tension thickening in the air. He didn’t like this. The deeply engrained ‘prey’ instinct was making his heart beat a touch too fast to be comfortable. Despite this fact, he did as he always would and forced his smile wider, faking nonchalance.

“Whatever do you mean? I can get caught up in no time! And I am perfectly fine, I simply need a moment to-“

“Shut up!” Husk cut in again, making his ire rise. “Shit has happened since you were gone! You fucking died Alastor, there’s no way in Hell you’re just ‘fine’, so cut the bullshit act!” That outburst certainly got the deer's full attention. “The world doesn’t revolve around you- you can’t just expect everything to be normal now!”

Couldn’t he? What would be the point of agonizing over something he couldn’t control? There was none, or so that’s what he told himself repeatedly as his hands began to shake more visibly.

“Uh, guys,” Angel interjected, eyes darting between the two bristling demons. Alastor ignored him in favor of narrowing his eyes at the cat.

“And why not? I’m back now! All of this extra fuss in unnecessary. I can go back to work, rest my powers, and get on with my afterlife!” The ache in his chest was getting steadily worse. He balled his hands into fists to hide the ever-growing tremors.

“Guys.”

Husk tucked his wings closer to his body, something new coloring his expression as he hissed, “Because things are different now. It doesn't work like that. I doubt you even have your powers! You can’t just ignore the fact that you were dead less than 24 hours ago, like you ignore everything else you don’t want to see! Where the fuck do you think your magic went, huh? Vox took the energy right after he put a fucking bullet between your eyes!”

“GUYS!”

“What?!” Husk shouted as they both snapped their heads towards Angel, Alastor seething internally while the cat was clearly resisting the urge to punch something. Angel had both set of arms crossed, mouth pressed into a thin line as he jerked his head towards Niffty.

The maid had a wide eye, little claws digging into the thermos as her gaze flitted between the pair. When she blinked in recognition at the silence and the realization that all eyes were on her, it wasn’t hard to notice the increased fidgeting. Before either Husk or Alastor could open their mouths to speak, let alone offer some comfort or apology, she was letting all her words tumble out in one breath. “Sorry, I’ll go and get Mr. Alastor some fresh clothes while I’m out and maybe some more soup because he’s still looking pretty hungry so I should probably hurry-!” And she was already out the door before she’d even finished, leaving a disappointed Angel, a stricken Alastor, and a very tired Husk.

“…Fuck.” Husk’s anger seemed to rush out in one sigh, shoulders slumping, wings drooping, tail stilling. There was a cold regard in his eyes. Alastor didn’t know how to react to this silent fury when he was used to flared wings, bared teeth, and comical irritation over the smallest slights. The cat’s eyes were dull and narrowed, so unlike the fiery anger or sarcastic indifference he was known for. There is lack of care, and then there’s whatever this was. Husk was supposed to be his closest companion…Alastor didn't know how to react to this type of anger.

Ears in a neutral position to match the other’s, Alastor watched the cat turn to glare, taking a long swig from his bottle of booze, before moving back to the door with a grumble. “I’m going talk to her. Don’t even fuckin’ think about leaving this damn room. Charlie, Niff’, and the others are already worried sick. Think about something other than your own goddamn pride for once.” Without another word he was gone, and the frustration bubbling up in the deer left, a coldness replacing it as he digested the words thrown at his face. Of course, he hadn’t thought of changes. Or Vox. Or of ever coming back. He’d lost hope of being brought back quite some time ago.

The mattress sank as Angel slowly sat down, hands clasped on his knees, but Alastor paid him no mind. There should’ve been anger, spite, annoyance burning through Alastor’s thoughts. Some sliver of irritation at Husk for insinuating such things, but…there was just an icy resignation gnawing at his very bones. A doubt that screamed Husk was right. He wasn’t fine. Things weren’t the same. He deserved to be yelled at.

Even so, the deer clung so desperately to the lie because he didn’t know what would happen if he let himself believe the truth.

Something in his mind had…broken. Not in the way he was used to. Not in the way that had him cackling at the sight of suffering, at inflicting it himself. This was different. Scarier. Why else would these intrusive thoughts be hurting him so? Alastor hugged himself in vain, knowing comfort wouldn’t come and that he shouldn’t want it regardless. He didn’t deserve it. Yes, something was well and truly wrong with him if Husk’s words actually bothered him. Judgement was something that held no power over him before…What had changed that?

“Al,” Angel shifted to put a hand on his shoulder, but the deer flinched away. Angel pulled it back, hands settling in his lap instead. “You know there is a lot of stuff to talk about…right?” The spider let out a nervous laugh. “Things have just been harder on a lot of us since you’ve been…gone. Husk didn’t take it well obviously. But whatever, I’m sure you probably have a pile of questions, huh? It’s a bit surprising just how much can change in just five months in Hell- whoa!”

Angel jolted forward with the exclamation as Alastor wobbled, his whole form lurching forward to clutch his head in his hands. Five months? It had been five months? There had been no way to tell time, so Alastor never could’ve known. The question was, had it been just five months, or had it been five unbelievably long months?

Was it a good thing to say he’d survived for so long? Or was he weak for having a full breakdown in that little time when compared to the decades he’d been alive? Such time was daunting when faced with starvation, sensory deprivation, insanity, but a look at his mental state in the mere months stacked against all of his time existing made him look pathetic. Must he be constantly at war with himself…?

“Shit, Charlie didn’t mention the time did she? Damn it…I’m sorry Smiles, I didn’t mean to upset you.” The words, punctuated with a slight guilt-filled gaze were lost on Alastor who hardly twitched while his thoughts rose in a crescendo, louder and louder in his mind until it was just him and his screaming internal dialogue.

Then everything came to an abrupt stop at the spider’s words. Slowly, Alastor mustered up the energy to raise his head, stare fixated on the far wall. Smile tight, ears flattened, Alastor was rather proud of how steady his voice came out.

“…I believe I should freshen up. Niffty said she would be retrieving a change of clothes and I very well can’t put it on filthy as I am, now can I?” The subject change was sudden, painfully so, but thankfully Angel seemed to catch on quickly.

“No, yeah a shower or bath or whatever the Hell you prefer sounds good! We’ll um…we’ll just talk when you’re done, yeah? Need help up?”

No, Alastor wanted to say. Unfortunately, his body still strongly disagreed, and he didn’t feel like dealing with his unruly staff at the moment. With a sigh he offered a stiff nod, allowing Angel to duck under his arm and help him to his feet.

His legs trembled like a newborn fawn’s for a moment under his weight but steadied by the time they got to the bathroom. Transferring his hold to the doorframe, the deer let his claws sink lightly into the maroon-tinted wood as he turned to face Angel.

“You gonna be alright in there?” A mischievous smile grew on the spider’s face as he crossed his arms, matching the amused glint in his eyes. “I doubt you’d want me seeing that adorably fluffy tail o’ yours anymore…” Said fluffy appendage twitched up in surprise while red flooded the deer’s cheeks.

“I- you- excuse me?” Alastor sputtered uselessly. Well, he supposed it was no shock Angel would comment on it considering his lack of overcoat, but he’d happily forgotten about the useless deer-like feature for some time! “No thank you-” maybe if he ignored it, Angel wouldn’t bring it up again! “I’ll be just fine, my dear! Now if you’ll excuse me,” he abruptly shut the door before Angel’s joking “You’re the deer!” could distract him.

Huffing he stumbled to the mirror, gripping the edges of the porcelain sink and glaring at his blushing reflection until the red receded. Then he shifted the glare to his tail for continuing to twitch against his will. This deer form really annoyed him at times! He didn’t like being called cute. He was infamous! Scary! A bloodthirsty serial killer! The damn Radio Demon!

“Ridiculous,” Alastor sniffed, moving to the shower and turning the water on, not satisfied with the temperature until steam filled the room. His mood sobered when he moved to unbutton his shirt, eyes drifting back to the bandages. Right…those would need to be cleaned as well.

Shrugging off his shirt, folding it, and setting it neatly to the side, he returned attention to his arms again. With a slow breath he unwrapped them, the pull on the healing gashes making him wince but not anything to bother with. The only thing truly filling him with dread currently was the impending conversation with Angel Dust…

“I’ll need to know sooner or later,” he muttered to the battered demon in the reflection. Regardless of what was wanted he would need to learn…The deer sighed, berating his lack of knowledge and composure at this trying time. Hopefully a hot shower would soothe his frayed nerves…

.

.

.

“Alright, spill.”

“Hm?”

“Whatever’s been making you stare at the wall for five minutes,” the voice snipped impatiently, “instead of paying attention to a word I’ve been saying.”

The tv-head finally turned his attention fully to the moth-demon lounging on the chair opposite of him. His screen wavered as he rolled his eyes, “It’s nothing, Val, I’m just thinking.”

That earned a snicker and a wave of one of four hands, “Bullshit. I can practically see the smoke pouring out of your pretty little head, Vox. Now,” he leaned forward, clasping his hands on the desk before him, “are you going to tell me what’s got you short-circuiting or not? I’ve got better things to do than watch you attempt to crash your systems for the day.”

Vox snorted, crossing his arms over his chest. He should’ve expected this. Nosy bastard. Though he did come specifically to talk about something related to this…Might as well get it over with.

“Alright, alright…It’s my magic.” Valentino gave him an unimpressed look, raising an eyebrow and peering down at him through his rose-tinted glasses. Vox sneered in response. “Something is wrong with it.”

“You aren’t losing your touch, are you? Too much power gone to your head?” The moth snickered, antenna flicking to the side as he fluffed up his coat.

Vox stared for a moment before letting out a boisterous laugh. “Hell no! I’m still as powerful as the day I toppled the damn Radio Towers! And when I took down the Radio Demon himself!” Despite this apparent confidence, his claws were tapping endlessly away at the table while the moth waited for the ‘but’.

“But…” There it was! “…There’s this weird feeling in my chest. A tiny pull on my magic. It’s fucking infuriating because it just kept getting more noticeable as the day went on.”

“…Which is why you called me,” Valentino finished mildly.

“Exactly! It’s annoying, and I’ve been switching through feeds all day to see if some idiot is trying to mess with me, but nothing seems out of order in or outside any of our territories.” Sparks skittered across his shoulders as a growl escaped. “I would be keeping a closer eye on that trashy hotel, but there aren’t many devices in there to spy from. Of-fuckin-course the princess would make sure of that. And god forbid we touch the daughter of Lucifer's stupid pet project…”

“Don’t worry about them, I’ve still got someone on the inside remember?” Valentino soothed, pulling out his phone and tapping away at the screen before sliding it over to Vox. The other overlord shot him a look before leaning forward to read the message sent.

I need you to keep an eye on things over there for me Angel Cakes.

Vox raised a brow, glancing up to Valentino with a chuckle, “You really trust him at all? You realize he was the one shooting at me when I went to take out good ‘ol Ally don’t you? I wouldn’t trust his word for shit.”

A laugh was the only response Valentino offered before gesturing to the phone again.

If anything unusual happens, you’ll be the first to know, boss.

“Angie is loyal to me. I own his soul! If he even thinks about betraying me I can put a stop to it faster than he can say ‘shit’. I think he learned his lesson after last time.” The overlord leaned back, smugness radiating from his expression. Angel would have to be an idiot to defy him again…

“You on the other hand, he never really cared for. You know I would’ve taken care of it when he shot at you, but there was no reason you couldn’t stop him yourself! As long as you don’t use a holy weapon I don’t care what you do. That is, if he’s directly in your way- otherwise he’s mine to deal with. I can't have you permanently damaging one of my best stars, no matter what ridiculous projects he busies himself with in his free time…”

Of course not; god-forbid Vox mess up any of Valentino's toys! …Still he processed the words, sparks of energy running through his antenna as he thought. “You already know why I couldn't stick around- What with the princess showing off a bit more of her demonic side…as much as any of us would hate to admit it, she is Lucifer's daughter.” He summoned a small wire, fiddling with it as he spoke. “When she lets her powers loose it would be all too easy for her to tear any demon apart, overlord or not…” a quick flick of the wrist and he snapped the wire in half for emphasis.

“I shouldn't have been surprised that she would be upset about me killing the red asshole considering he'd protected her and her friends beforehand…I just didn't expect Ally to ever get close to someone again. Or for him to risk his life to save anything other than his own sorry hide.” He let out a darker chuckle, discarding the broken wire in favor of throwing his arms over the back of the chair, resisting the urge to kick his feet onto Valentino's desk.

“Of course you wouldn't expect him to,” the moth grinned cryptically. “But, to be fair, I don't think anyone would've expected the Radio Demon to form any relationships… At the time he probably just considered the hotel his territory. Who's to say he wasn't just protecting said territory? ...And the people in it, I suppose.”

“Yeah, sure, but you weren't there Val. I've never seen anything like that from him before. It was like Al was a different demon. Sure there was the sarcasm and the ferocity and that damned grin hardly ever faltered, but there was also desperation.” The eyes on his screen narrowed hungrily at the memory, his grin stretching even wider. “I’ll admit it was nice seeing him knocked down a peg for once, cowering at my feet. Gaining his power to go alongside my own didn't hurt either…” At the mention his magic did an annoying little pulse again and he almost groaned in frustration.

“Yes, just be glad you had the proper weaponry to make sure he stayed dead.” It was hard for anyone to get their hands on a holy weapon in Hell. Being overlords meant he and Vox had more facilities and people to search with, but tracking down the weapons and retrieving them was still a bothersome business. The search was well worth it for the tv-headed demon considering he wanted the Radio Demon gone. Permanently.

“…And you're sure we'll know the first thing that seems unusual around there?” Vox prodded.

“Yes, and if Angie doesn't come through, you or I could always just go down there ourselves, couldn't we. No trouble would need to be had, just a bit of ‘checking in' I would say…But I still think you're looking into this too much.” The moth gestured with his hands. “You took in a lot of magic and I imagine your body is still getting acclimated to it.”

“Five months after the fact? This wasn't happening five months ago…” He sighed, leaning his head back against the chair. “…but whatever, I suppose you're right, I might just be looking too much into this…” Maybe he was getting a bit paranoid- After all he was used of having his rival of a few decades around to constantly keep him on his toes…It was a good thing they took care of that problem at least. Thanks to him, the Radio Demon was well and truly dead.

[chimswae]

BTS Caretaker CH13

Summary: She may think she has Bangtan Sonyeondan wrapped around her fingers. She may think it is easy to love the members equally without hurting any soul. She may think the boys wont fall head over heels for her. She assumes it is okay to show a little love and affection towards the boys, what if she gets it all wrong? What if it only brings more complication to her already complicated life? Can she survive their charms? Will she be able to resist them? What if they just wont let her go?

- Pairing: BTS x Oc ( Yoongi x OC, Jungkook x OC)

- Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst, Romance, Idol!au

- Word Count: 3,604

- Author Note:Late update again hmm i was a little busy these days with work ;(  i appreciate your feedback and comment, just drop in my ASK BOX :)

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Chapter 13

“Who stole the cookies on the table?” Jin yelled in disbelief as he noticed the disappearance of the supposed to be Seul’s present. The culprit was among them and the only person who was capable of such thing as Kim Taehyung. At the end of the day, it would always be Taehyung.

Hope glanced over his shoulder “What cookies? I thought we have eaten it all” he reasoned with his eyes fixated on the screen.

“The cookies in the small pink box” Jin scowled.

“Ah, I saw it this morning but didn’t open it. Ask Kookie, he was the last one in the kitchen not long ago” Jungkook flinched in his seat with a disapproval look.

He retorted sarcastically “I might be the last one but I am not the culprit.” Hoseok snickered with a small shrug teasing the younger guy.

“Who was it for again?” Hoseok inquired.

“No one”

“Lies. It is for the caretaker agashi, Seul” Namjoon shows up with a messy bed hair, while yawning loudly in process. To hear Seul’s name, Yoongi’s ears perked up showing his interest. He tried not to be too obvious, it was even more confusing for him.

Jimin mumbled under his breath in his usual cutesy tone “Why are you giving the cookies to Seul?” he looked over only to witness Jin’s red face. This was something new to see, Jin getting flustered over a simple question, what exactly happened? Does he have any feelings for Seul?

“It is not for Seul! Don’t listen to Joon!” he sent a death glare at Namjoon’s way, but the latter only rolled his eyes in response. He knew what he saw on the table, Namjoon peeked at the notes too so no matter how hard Jin tried to deny the truth, he wouldn’t trust him.

“But, you packed it so nicely? Is it for Moonbyul-ssi?” he raised his eyebrows.

Jin frowned not liking where this will lead him, one after another now he was dragging his fellow 92-liner friend in the conversation “Moonbyul is just a friend. My best friend. Stop speculating” he pressed.

“Mamamoo’s Moonbyul is single though. She is cool. I approve her” Namjoon joked earning another dangerous glare from the older guy. His laughter died down as he raised both of his arm “I am joking. Chill” he snickered.

“Then is it for Seul?” Jimin continued to get the answer from Jin, he showed no sign of retreat. With heavy heart, Jin nodded slowly while biting his lower lips “Why?” he heard the younger guy mumbled with a hint of confusion and annoyance.

“Because she kind of helped me that night, so as a token of appreciation, I baked her cookies. Gosh, why are you asking me this?”

“Just because….”

“What?”

“………”

“Jimin… do you like her?” asked Hoseok. He tore his eyes from the screen and stared at Jimin’s way with a baffled look. Jimin’s eyes shot open, “W-hat no.. I am just curious?” he defended himself. It was not a time to appear weak and suspicious. Not  that he likes her that way, but what he was trying to indicate here was, he might like her that way. That was so messed up.

“But you sound defensive” Namjoon chewed the green apple in his hand with a playful smirk. Mister always grumpy Min Yoongi now was on his feet, getting ready to leave the living room, he did not know why he felt so affected by this.

“Why are we talking about her? She is just a fucking stalker” he marched to his room leaving everyone in dazed.

Jin rubbed his temple with a heavy sigh “Did Min Yoongi just curse? I swear I will fucking kill him one day” he exclaimed.

“Hyung, you just cursed too” said the maknae.

“Gosh, this is annoying. Okay, who is responsible of the missing cookies again?!” he stopped rambling when he saw the only missing member in the earlier conversation walked towards his direction with wide grin. Jin swore to god, he saw a tiny piece of cookies at the corner of Taehyung’s mouth as an evidence of his bad deed. So, he was the culprit all along as he expected.

Taehyung became wary of the stares that he received from the floor at the moment. He ducked his head to avoid Namjoon’s small jab and went straight to Jin “Why is it so tense?” tilting his head innocently, Taehyung pursed his lips.

“Someone stole the cookies on the table” he said flatly.

“Oh that cookie! It was not stolen, I ate them!”

“KIM TAEHYUNG!”

Taehyung was jittering at Jin’s sudden hollered which almost cost hearing lost “What the hell hyung! Why are you screaming in my ears?” he rubbed his ear with a slight pout.

Jin gaped at his action while calming down his aching nerves, if he were to smack someone tonight it would be either him or Park Jimin. These 95-liner best friend are real troublemakers, what a pain to his head.

There goes his effort in preparing small gift for Seul. He had to find another way to say thank you then, thanks to Kim Taehyung.

 --------------------------

Following their winning from Melon Music Awards two weeks ago, the boys swept another daesang award in Mnet Music Awards later the following month. It was an emotional night for all of them even for Min Yoongi whom seemed to play it cool, he broke down on stage without he realized. It became a talk of whole country due to Yoongi’s legendary cries. Everyone has suffered a lot during their debut days, to win something grand was no exception in giving them this roller coaster feelings.

Seul watched the award show together with her mother and Hoon just because the two are the biggest Bangtan’s fans in the century. In contrary, her mother’s affection towards the boys are more like a mother and son feeling. For once, Seul did not blame her mother to bawl her eyes together with Bangtan as soon as their name was announced as the winner of Artist of the Year award.

Mrs Hwang watched how the boys grow from boys to men, she fed them, cleaned their place and sometimes she would give a good motherly advice. The boys and Mrs Hwang usually exchanged notes whenever they needed an opinion from a mother figure like Mrs Hwang. Under certain circumstances, there were time the boys requested to meet her personally, but she did not want to disobey the company’s rules, so they have never met.

Seul watched the television screen diligently how the group was taken aback by the announcement and how Jimin immediately slouched on the seat while palming his face, he looked adorable in her eyes. For the first time in her life, she saw how they exchanged a genuine smile as everyone gathered for a big group hug.

The leader of the group was seen to be holding back himself, not trying to break down as the members were looking as dazed as him. He was the leader, so he had to stand on his feet with pride. A small smile appeared across Seul’s face upon seeing how Yoongi and Jimin were the last member to walk after others. He had to drag surprise Jimin together with him, throwing his arm around the younger guy so they could receive the award.

She wondered it must be one hell of ride for everyone.

“Aigoo.. aigoo.. look at jiminie and yoongi fooling around on stage even before they received the awards” she heard her mother chuckled softly.

Hoon grinned “Jimin hyung still can’t believe they won the award! Look at his face!” he clasped his hand together and to Seul’s annoyance, she really hated it when Hoon tried to sound super friendly addressing the boys with hyung.

Seul’s eyes moved to Taehyung as he was the one who lead the group along with Namjoon walking casually beside him. Her heart softens to see Taehyung’s expression which was in between of breaking down into ugly sobs or smiled away like he always did. It was amusing how Taehyung looked so lost in between his walk to the award presenter, as if his heart chanted something ‘We did it. We did it. Is it us’ like a mantra? His face really gave away that feeling.

Finally, everyone had reached to the centre of the stage as Namjoon took a moment to compose himself. As usual, the pressure would be on the leader’s shoulder. He needed a moment to say something whilst others scanned the area with a satisfied smile.

Namjoon leaned forward with a heavy sigh, his heart was pounding madly as if it would come out by anytime soon. Seul shifted in her seat fixing her gaze on the nervous guy in the screen. She had never seen any of awards show with Bangtan in it, since this is her first time, Seul was intrigued to know Namjoon.

While Namjoon tried to gather his thought together, Yoongi’s small action caught Seul attention. He was clapping hard following the audiences most probably he wanted to get rid of the nervousness that slowly eating him up. Yoongi was about to cry, she knew it. She could see the glistening of tears in his eyes even the sunshine ball Hoseok who stood calmly beside him, was chewing his lower lips to not let himself dwell in the emotion.

Namjoon blinked his tears and he finally said a word “Army…” Seul glanced over her mother whom had started crying her heart out. How touching wasn’t it?

“Thank you so much. Seriously… we went through a lot since we debuted and there were people who said we would not make it” he continued with a shaky voice. Her heart clenched in pain, she blinked in sheer surprised. Who were those horrible people that belittled their talents and efforts? Shame on those people.

When the screen changed to reveal other members expression whilst Namjoon continued his speech, Jungkook was seen to already shed tears while Jimin as usual keep his stare fix at that one man, Kim Namjoon with so much adoration and love.

“Thank you so much for believing in us until the end”

Stood beautifully in between Jimin and Taehyung looking all sombre and distressed was Jin, the same guy that she found at the corner of a dark room few weeks ago when they received their first daesang. Seul’s bit her nails occasionally studying Jin’s calm expression. She could tell he was not as calm as he appeared, Jin was in a deep thought. Would it be a good thing?

Just please don’t belittle of yourself again Kim Seokjin. Seul prayed earnestly, concerned with his insecurity.

“This is something we only dreamt about so thank you for making our dream a reality. I would like to thank Bang Shi Hyuk Pd, the executives of Big Hit Entertainment who led us on. And people who make good music with us, Pdogg, Rabbit hyungs and Supreme Boi. And our Teacher Sung Deuk and the staff”

BAM! A rush of sadness gushed inside Seul, he was crying. Kim Seokjin was shedding his tears again and it somewhat pained her. Why was she acting this way? It was only a onetime thing when she witnessed Jin’s most fragile state. Yet to be affected this much was so wrong.

Jin slowly nodded to every Namjoon’s words and letting his tears cascaded down beautifully “Thank you to all the staff who have been with us. Thank you so much for making our dreams a reality. And .. Armys all over the world, lets fly with our beautiful wings in 2017 as well” Namjoon breathed deeply as he was struggling between the overwhelming emotion that he felt right now and to give a good ending speech.

“Poor baby kook, I want to give him a hug” Mrs Hwang heaved a heavy sigh. “That kid was the purest of all, he cried a lot during their earlier debut days. My heart breaks to see him crying like this” she sniffed.

“BTS loves Armys always. Thank you very much”

“Mother look over there, Yoongi hyung is crying so hard at that side!” Hoon gasped dramatically. Was it rare to see Yoongi cried? Yes.

“When Yoongi cried meaning this thing meant the world to him. He is man with of few words, a great guy to all he met”

“Thank you. I love You. I hope our music and our performance can be your dreams as well. I hope that our stage and our performances and our music can be the hopes and dreams of the world. Thank you very much. We’ll do our best! Thank you”

Namjoon’s voice started to fade away in Seul’s mind, and her attention was now fully on the small guy who sobbed hard beside Namjoon. The playful and flirty side of Yoongi just disappeared instantly, he looked so vulnerable and fragile. Something that she couldn’t usually see anywhere. She clutched the armrest steadying her heavy breathing ‘Min Yoongi, just what are you?’ Seul found herself getting shaky over him.

Will he be alright? Seul could not stop but to think about the rest of the members especially Yoongi. Was she being too hard on him before and jumped into conclusion without knowing his true side? However, they are not in that kind of relationship which required her to super nice towards him.

This was too much for her again.

 ------------------

Meanwhile in Hong Kong, the boys were all gathered in one room, sitting on the couch with a hard face. None of them uttered any words ever since they arrived in their hotel room. They were no longer in their fancy award outfits but only plain white shirt underneath it.

Their eyes were puffy after a long and hard crying at the backstage as soon as they were away from prying eyes. In between these four concrete walls, everyone was silenced only heavy breathing could be heard. Their managers had left earlier to give space for the boys to recuperate the situation.

“Wow, this is one hell of a night” calm Hoseok broke the silence garnering everyone’s attention back to the floor.

Jimin lips twisted upwards as he spoke “Yoongi hyung, I have never seen you cried that hard. Was it real?” he pondered.

His sudden questions turned Yoongi into ripe tomatoes, he stammered between his words “Yah, forget about that.. I was caught off guard.. and I just cried” Yoongi ran his hand at the back of his neck, massaging it softly.

“It is alright to cry sometimes” Namjoon gave his hyung a light pat with a wide smile.

The room fell into dead silence again for umpteenth time. There were so many things ran into their mind right now and it was hard to bring it out one by one. Frustrated, everyone heaved a sync groan under their breath which turned into a light chuckle afterwards.

“I guess this is it” the leader whispered lowly enough for everyone to hear.

“We did it..” he scanned each of the members face with a stupidly proud grin that never left his face ever since the award show ended.

Jin leaned on his seat, crossing his legs “We did it..again” he smiled genuinely easing the tense atmosphere in the room moments ago. Within a second, the room became lively with loud chattered from every corner reminiscing their good old times together. The boys talked a lot of things from how they started this whole journey until where they achieved so far.

The night was spent with their mini celebration in the small room, exchanging stories and even ideas on how they should improve themselves in the next comeback. It has been a great pleasure for all of them to serve as one of Bangtan’s members and they will never be tired become one.

This will be the start of their new year resolution, just like Namjoon stressed in his speech earlier, “Let’s fly with our beautiful Wings as well in 2017”. They are living to this word, there is no turning back now.

Bangtan Sonyeondan will spread their wings wide to spread love and hope all over the world.

 ----------------

3 AM. She was awoken up by the vibration of her phone. Groggily, Seul picked up the call without even looking at the screen. Her mind and body were too tired to even force out words coming from her mouth.

She pressed the phone on her ears as she continued to snuggle under her warm blanket. Who on earth called her at 3 in the morning?

“ Hey.. Is this Ji Seul”

“Speaking” she mumbled under her breath with a hint of annoyance.

“Are you sleeping?” the person at the end of the line held back his chuckle trying not to show his amusement over Seul’s cuteness.

Seul scoffed sleepily “What kind of question is that? Obviously, since it is 3 AM”

“Oh, sorry for bothering you.” he mumbled with a pout. Seul was too drowsy to decipher the owner of the voice so she wanted to inquire more and ended this phone call, but she heard his soft voice hummed incoherently.

She squeezed her eyes trying to stay awake at least, “This is Jin…” upon listening to that one name, Seul’s eyes widened. Was she dreaming? Was this a prank pulled by stupid people?

“How did you get my number?” she bewildered.

“I have my ways and it involves urm.. your mother”

“Crazy…” Seul rubbed her eyes with a soft yawn. “Okay what do you want Jin-ssi” she grumbled.

Jin sighed softly “Nothing, just wanted to hear your voice” he confessed sweetly causing her to shudder under his manly yet soft voice. It took Seul a moment to gather her sense back afraid that she might blurt out some nonsense.

“So…congratulations” she softly hummed.

“You watched it?” Jin’s pitch hiked up to one octave but he immediately lowered his voice since others were already asleep. Another soft hum coming from Seul was enough to answer to his excitement.

“I thought you are not a fan” he smug.

Seul rolled her eyes “But I am a good citizen supporting our local’s music” he chuckled softly at her randomness. “So, are you alright?” she said worriedly. It touched his heart to receive even a simple attention from someone like Seul. To this extent, he didn’t realize how much he craved for a normal life by simply having a companion with him that can share every nook and cranny of his worries with the person.

“Are you asking onstage Jin, or the Kim Seokjin?”

“Both..you cried pretty hard last night and it is ugly” she sassed.

“Hey, everyone said my tears could literally create world peace! It is not ugly Ji Seul-ssi” he sulks. Seul giggled at his absurdity, speaking of high level of confidence, Jin had his own level. Seul was not surprised at all.

Jin loved her small laughter to the core, it washed away the worries engulfed in him. That was the reason why he begged for the caretaker ahjumma’s phone number from their managers. Thankfully, they didn’t question him further, so they gave it away without an exchange of anything. Once he obtained the way to contact the caretaker lady, he immediately secured Seul’s contact without much hassle.

Guess, it was his lucky day.

“I love your laughter”

Seul fell into silence and she shifted shyly under her cover as if Jin was there in front of her. Giving her no chance to respond, Jin whispered “And.. to answer your question. On stage Jin and the Kim Seokjin are doing fine. I think your words of advice still linger in my head” he murmured.

“I am glad you are not crying at the corner again”

“Were you worried that I might urm.. be having that moment again?”

“Kind of”

Jin softened “Thank you Seul-ah” he dropped the formality between them which taken her off guard.

“What happen to Ji Seul-ssi?” she bit her lower lips nervously.

“I think it only makes sense if you call me oppa. How old are you?” he reasoned.

“I am 22.. We are not that close to address each other so informally. I don’t think I can call you oppa” she blushed furiously. Seul too did not think she could survive a day with this thought of calling Jin an oppa out of sudden. Wouldn’t that be too intimate?

“Ah...Jims and Tae age. Why can’t you? Let’s be closed from now on, so you can address me oppa”

“You are as annoying as Yoongi. Persistence as hell” she let out an exhaust sigh. Jin took the cue to end the call, he could sense Seul’s voice started to fade away “Let’s talk about this again when we meet again later” he suggested.

“Who says I am meeting you again. That time will be the first and the last one” she yawned without shame. Screw it, not that she had to impress Jin with anything. She didn’t care of her own image.

Jin let out a soft chuckle “We will see about that. Go sleep, and I will see you soon. Good night Seul” he hung up before the girl could say anything because he knew it won’t be beautiful. Seul’s mouth is just as nasty as Yoongi and hell it stung one’s hear like bee sting. That did not rhyme at all.

Throwing his exhausted body on the bed, he smiled to himself “I will see you again for sure, Seul” he shut his eyes preparing himself to sleep.

This work belongs to  Chimswae © 2020. All Rights Reserved.

[flutteringphalanges]

                                         Mirabile Visu

Summary: Sister Agatha Van Helsing discovers she’s in over her head when a competitive game of chess ultimately results in her becoming pregnant with the child of her worst enemy, Count Dracula. Now tied by a bond deeper than blood, the two must learn to coexist and adapt in a world that could be potentially hostile towards their offspring. Parenthood has never looked so batty.

Characters: Dracula/Agatha Van Helsing

Chapter: 14/15 (technically it’s chapter 13/14 since there was a two part chapter, but you get the idea)

Read on FFN and AO3

A/N:   Thank you so much for your support and amazing feedback! It truly means the world! Oh my gosh, guys, we are so close to the end! Next chapter is the final one. The epilogue! I can’t believe it! I’m both excited and sad! Also to clarify, Jack refers to Sorina jokingly as “Van Helsing” because it’s the last name she’s used for nearly all her life--since she grew up with Agatha’s family. Feedback is greatly loved and appreciated! I’d love to know your thoughts! I hope you enjoy! -Jen

                                           Chapter Thirteen

                                        Larpool Lane Cemetery

                                                  Present Time

Dental records. That's how far gone Zoe's body was when the coroner went to finally identify her. She felt horrible for thinking so, but Sorina was glad she didn't have to identify the remains. That would've been a task the halfling might've not been ready for. But they purchased a beautiful urn-purple, Zoe's favorite color-and bought a plot of land in the graveyard. A nice place that looked towards the trees. She would've liked that. And a simple, granite gravestone engraved with her name, date of birth and death, along with the words Beloved Aunt and Niece. Nothing fancy. Nothing that stood out. Simple. Like Zoe.

"I'm not leaving those stupid fabric flowers, Zoe deserves better."

Sorina stood over the tombstone, her eyes red as she clutched a bouquet of freshly cut daffodils in her right hand. Somehow, she had refrained from crying, but it was obvious that she was close to doing so. On either side of her, her parents stood. Agatha wore a black dress, something she had pulled from Zoe's closet. She felt a little guilty for wearing something that belonged to her late, great, great niece, but Sorina was fine with it. Dracula seemed rather distant as he stood close to his daughter, almost as if he was trying to listen out for something.

"Leave them, we can always replace them with more if the caretakers remove them."

Jack met Sorina's gaze, his mouth forming a small, encouraging smile. Since Zoe's death, he hadn't really left her side. While Dracula's and Agatha's home was in the remodeling process after The Foundation had damaged it, the four of them had been staying in what was now technically Sorina's home. She hadn't decided whether or not she wanted to sell it. From what any of them could gather, the halfing had yet to step foot into her aunt's room. He wasn't sure how long it would take before she had it in her to do so.

"I know this isn't exactly the ideal funeral." Agatha began, one hand absentmindedly resting on her still flat stomach. "But I'd like to say a few words, if that would be alright with you, Sorina?"

Her daughter nodded, clutching the flowers to her chest.

"I didn't know Zoe for very long. Only a few days, in fact. But I know how important she was to you and how she impacted your life as much as she did. You both had each other since her birth. She grew up around you and you, in a sense, around her. As a mother-your mother, it does my heart good knowing that someone was there to care for you, to love you, while your father and I were gone. I'll never be able to properly thank her for that. I'll still say it. Zoe, I am, and will always be, eternally grateful for everything you've ever done for my daughter. I wish I could have known you better, but I am glad we met. Even though it wasn't for very long."

Agatha took a step back, her eyes lifting from the grave to look at the others. Sorina remained silent, her own gaze still casted down at the slab of stone. It was only when Jack cleared his throat the silence was broken once more.

"I guess I'll go next." He swallowed, his voice already thick with emotion. "I wouldn't be where I am now without Zoe. When we first met, I was just a small fish in a big pond. I'd gotten into graduate school, but I honestly didn't know where to go from there. It wasn't until Dr. Van Helsing came to one of my lectures and spoke...something just clicked and I knew I had to reach out to her."

The young man smiled, shaking his head. "That's when I started working under her and then coincidentally met you." Sorina finally looked up, captured by Jack's attention. "If it hadn't been for Zoe's, I wouldn't have been lucky enough to know you. And I can't even imagine life without that. So thank you, Zoe. Thank you for everything."

A gentle breeze blew, brushing against the yellow flower petals. Sorina still had yet to say anything, her mouth pressed into a thin line. Agatha glanced at her husband, giving him a knowing look. Dracula's lips pursed, clearly not wanting to engage with a speech. Sure, Zoe had cared for his child, but he didn't see the need to make a statement on her behalf. But then again, there was Sorina. If anything, he needed to do it for her.

"Alright," he exhaled, Agatha frowning when he did so. "What to say. Well, as Agatha put it, I appreciate what you did for my Sorina. We had our differences, you and I. After all, you did try to…" His wife's dark glare made him reconsider his words. "You loved her, which is as much as I can ask of someone. Evidently, you provided protection too, seeing as what she is-what we are. And even though you apparently brought him into the picture…" His eyes narrowed at Jack. "I suppose you deserve a round of thanks. So thank you. For being there for my daughter."

Once more silence fell upon the group and Sorina could feel the other three pairs of eyes focus on her. Chewing on her bottom lip, a thumb pressing a small indent into one of the stems, she sucked in a sharp breath. Part of her wanted to turn away. To leave and pretend this wasn't happening. But her feet remained rooted to the ground as if paralyzed by some unseen force.

"I've known you since you were born." The words trembled as she spoke. "You grew up with me. We laughed, fought, and cried. I hated you, but I loved you more. When you had nightmares as a child, I let you sleep with me. I promised you I'd always be there, no matter what. And I tried, Zoe. I really, really did."

Tears began to stream down her cheeks, but no one moved to touch her. She was grateful for that.

"We both knew the end was coming. When you were diagnosed with cancer. I just didn't think…" She paused, trying to recollect herself. "None of us saw that this was going to be the end. But I'm glad I was there when it happened. That you weren't alone…" The halfing gave a wet smile, her cheeks glistening in the sunlight from her tears. "I'll never forget you, Zoe. No matter how many decades, centuries, millenniums I live through, you'll always be in my heart. I love you."

With the utmost care, Sorina bent down and placed the flowers over the gravestone. She stayed there for a moment to take it all in. It didn't register that her mother and Jack had left her side, making their way back to the car when she felt her father's hand on her shoulder. The halfling stood up, meeting her father's eyes.

"She's gone." He said quietly, his daughter caught off guard by his words. "I've been listening and she's no longer here suffering."

"What do you mean?" Sorina questioned, brow furrowed in misunderstanding. "Of course she's dead. We all saw her!"

"I mean, she's not trapped here," the vampire explained. "Sometimes the dead are restless. Stuck here forever in this plane of existence. If you pay attention, you can hear them." His stare remained locked on hers. "Focus, Sorina. Listen."

Though wary of her father's words, Sorina closed her eyes and listened closely. At first, she heard nothing, just the wind in the trees. Then, ever so softly, the moaning began. The calling. Corpses begging for their freedom. Fear struck her in the heart and she pressed against Dracula.

"What...who…" She stumbled, looking around wildly. How she hadn't experienced this before, she was unsure. She'd visited cemeteries throughout the decades. Year after year of losing loved ones. But perhaps she closed herself off to the idea of death and what lay beyond its gates. After all, she'd never experience the end herself. "I don't understand…"

"It's more apparent at night," Dracula responded. "But they can't hurt you. You needn't be afraid."

Sorina did her best not to think about which of her relatives were forced to become the undead, rotting away in their coffins under the surface. Running a hand through her long, thick hair, her shoulders slumped in defeat.

"I'm tired of losing people that I care about," she mumbled. "I want it to stop. To be done with it once and for all." Sorina glanced at her father. "Swear to me that you and Mum will never leave again. No matter what happens, we'll be a family. That if you go, you take me with you. And Jack too."

Of course, as much as he'd like to admit it, he wasn't keen on the idea of taking Jack anywhere. Getting used to the fact still that Sorina was no longer a little girl, but a grown woman was hard enough. Knowing that she was romantically involved with someone was much more difficult. But he knew she needed to hear those words, and knew that deep down he truly meant them.

"No matter what," he swore, pulling his daughter into a tight embrace. "We will always be a family." A promise he intended on keeping this time.

                          Dracula's and Agatha's Home

                                 Six Months Later

"Don't I have any say in on how my child's nursery looks?"

Agatha's lips pursed as she eyed Sorina from her rocking chair, both hands resting on her swelling abdomen. Her daughter had taken to becoming the interior designer of the room, not giving her mother much freedom to add her input. It had been decided that the theme would be the night sky. Sorina, of course, had gone with the idea as the moon and the stars were the very first glimpses she saw of the outside world.

"Trust me, Mum, in the end, you're going to like it." Sorina promised, adding another brush stroke of dark, navy paint to the wall. "And put on your mask. The fumes can't be good for the baby."

Her mother frowned at her bossy tone, but did as she said. It was rather bothersome how overprotective everyone seemed to be over her. Dracula rarely letting her get up off her feet to do anything. Had he forgotten she'd been pregnant once before-and as a human at that? Nevertheless, for her own sanity, she allowed them to wait hand over foot on her. Sometimes she secretly liked it.

"Jack, if you make the slightest nick in my crib, I will make you regret the day you were born."

The screwdriver dropped from the young man's hand as he met the vampire's dark glare. Instead of ordering a pre-designed cradle, Dracula wanted to replicate the same one he'd made for Sorina well over a century ago. It was a nostalgic idea that Agatha really liked. But of course, it would've been a lot better if her husband didn't continually threaten her daughter's poor boyfriend.

"Leave him alone, Dad. He's just trying to help!" Sorina threw a look at her father over her shoulder. "This is supposed to be a bonding exercise."

"Would it be more helpful if I just brought the blankets and things into the room?" Jack suggested, desiring to be anywhere but beside the vampire. "I think there were packages delivered earlier."

"Just mind the walls," Dracula exhaled loudly. "And don't trip, I don't want to spend another several hours at the clinic because you got a concussion."

It'd only happened once, just a few weeks back. Jack had been helping move some things when he tripped over the living room rug. He hit his head pretty hard, scaring Sorina the most. But in the end, after a long visit to the hospital and having to stay awake for twenty four hours, everything had been fine. Though Dracula hadn't exactly forgotten the minor "inconvenience" it caused him.

"I'll come and help you, Jack." Sorina exclaimed, frowning at her father as she set the brush down into the pail. "There can't be that many."

As the two disappeared down the steps, Agatha turned her attention to her husband. "Why must you be so rough with him?" She inquired irritably. "The boy has done absolutely nothing to you."

"He's dating my daughter," Dracula replied with a shrug, focused on the legs of the crib. "I'm allowed to disapprove of my child's significant other. It's nothing personally, really. I just want what's best for her."

"What's best for her is being happy," his spouse commented. "And Jack makes her happy."

"And I want her to be happy," the count agreed. "Just not with Jack." He seemed to pause for a moment as if in deep thought. "Or with anyone really. There is nothing wrong with being single. I was so for centuries."

"But now you have me," Agatha added. "And I'd like to think that perhaps I was the best thing that ever happened to you?"

"Well yes, you and Sorina," he agreed. "But that's different."

"How so?"

It was a good question, he'd give her that. Smirking, he stood up and made his way over to her. Agatha eyed him curiously as he rested his hands on either arm rest of the rocking chair.

"For starters, you are positively attractive, in both appearance and wit. You had the audacity to try to kill me." He leaned forward, pressing his forehead to her's. Agatha chuckled, smirking softly. "And you are quite talented in your bed." His wife snorted, swatting at him. "You know it's true."

"Let Sorina decide what's good for her and what isn't," the former nun replied. "It's her life after all." She smiled fondly and took a hold of his hand, pressing it down where the baby just kicked. "Besides, we have enough on our plate with this little one coming. Our daughter is a smart girl, she'll do the right thing."

Dracula stared at his wife, his thumb gently caressing over the spot where the infant had moved. He didn't want to admit it, but he knew it was the truth. He had to let Sorina make her own decisions-despite it being so hard to watch.

"Fine," he exhaled. "But if he breaks her heart, I won't hesitate to kill him."

"And I'll help you dispose of the body," Agatha added lightheartedly. "Now, can you move that dresser just a tad to the right? It's blocking part of the window." 

                                                      XXX

Jack noticed the look of concern plastered on Sorina's face as they stared down at the many parcels sitting by the door. He knew that expression all too well-she had misplaced something. Pursing her lips, she mentally counted the boxes to make sure of it. The halfling was certain now. One of them was in fact missing.

"It's the breast pump." Sorina frowned, pinching the brim of her nose. "I specifically ordered that special for her."

"Not that it is any of my concern, but your mum's going to...nurse?" Jack ventured hesitantly. "Isn't she worried about...you know…"

"Fangs?" The halfling chuckled, an amused expression crossing her features. "Exactly why I ordered the damn thing in the first place. Apparently I did a number on her and I don't think she's going to let me forget it anytime soon." Scratching the back of her head, Sorina sighed. "I don't know where it could've gone. I'm sure I put on the correct address."

"Is it possible it's at the house?" And by the way Sorina tensed up, he knew he didn't need to specify further. "I can drive by and see if it was dropped off there. You can just stay here and…"

"No." She cut him off abrupt, waving her hand. "No...I'll go with you. It's been awhile anyway."

"Are you sure?" He asked, making sure her eyes locked onto his. "Sunny, if you are uncomfortable. I can go alone. It's probably sitting out front anyway. It'd just take a second."

She shook her head and forced a smile. "I need to get out of the house anyway. The smell of paint gave me a headache. Some fresh air would do me some good."

He wasn't about to argue with that. Digging around in his pockets, he produced his car keys. His ride was nothing special-a beat up, old yellow buggy he'd gotten used as a graduation present. But it did its job fine. Once Sorina had climbed in on the passenger's side, he started it up and pulled onto the road.

"I was thinking we could go out to that little Italian place you like for dinner." The young doctor suggested, attempting to stir up some conversation. "Maybe go see a movie afterwards?"

Sorina merely stared out the window, the wind blowing through her dark hair. "Only if you let me pay this time." She didn't need to look over to know Jack was frowning. "C'mon, we agreed that we'd share expenses. I don't need you paying for everything. I have money too."

"Why can't you just let me court you like in the good old days." He smiled, Sorina gaping at him in mock astonishment. "When life was simpler. I'd take you for a walk, we'd talk until after dusk, and I'd walk you to your doorstep before giving you a peck on the cheek. No need to rile your parents up about being out late."

Dr. Seward," Sorina gasped. "Are you calling me old?"

"I've always been fond of mature women." He explained, Sorina shoving him playfully. "Well, only when it came to you."

"I'm 123 years young, thank you very much." The halfling declared proudly, straightening up in her seat. "And I'll have you know I'm very selective. I don't just pick out any boy I like. In fact, I fancy just one."

"Should I be jealous?" He inquired, cocking an eye questioningly. "Do I know this man you speak of?"

"Oh, you should be quite envious," Sorina smirked. "He's very kind and charming. And quite handsome at that. I've been seeing him too, you know."

"Miss Van Helsing you scandalous thing." Jack chuckled, leaning over to kiss her. "What am I to do with you?"

"Anything you like." The way she said it made a shiver run down his spine. His stomach fluttering in such excitement he'd be too embarrassed to admit it. "As long as it isn't around my father." And there went the feeling completely.

                                  Zoe Van Helsing's Residence

When they pulled up into the driveway, Sorina fell quiet again. Already from the car, Jack could clearly see the package resting on the porch. As he opened his door to get out, he was taken aback when the halfing did the same. Saying nothing, she made her way up the steps, retrieving a familiar gold key that hid under the rug.

"Sunny…" He began, but the woman had already turned the lock, pushing the door open. "Sunny, wait!"

The interior of the house was dark as the two entered inside. For the sake of not tripping over anything, Jack flipped on the light switch. Everything looked just as they left it. Sorina not bothering much in the few times she'd come over for things. Mostly she moved about between her parents' place and his. Though it was technically her's, Sorina still had yet to call it "home" once more.

"Did you forget something?" He asked, following her as she made her way down the hall. "I thought everything was packed up?"

"I just want to grab something, okay?" She responded, finally stopping in her tracks. "For the baby's room."

Jack's heart skipped a beat when he realized where they were standing. The outside of Zoe's room. A forbidden location that had almost remained untouched since the funeral. He felt as if he should say something. Anything. Maybe advise her against going in. Offer her support. Instead he remained silent, watching as she carefully turned the knob.

It was just as Zoe had left it. Bed well made, stacks of paper by her computer. Even a bottle of medication sat at her desk. But Sorina seemed to ignore all of that. She walked over to a shelf, acting as if nothing else was in the room. Gingerly, she lifted an object up and Jack realized immediately what it was. A picture frame.

Zoe. A much younger, healthier looking Zoe smiled back at him through the glass. She wore her hair down and in her hands she grasped a certificate. A diploma from her years at medical school. By her side, arm wound around her, grinned the brilliant, bright eyed Sorina. They looked so happy together. Happier than he'd ever seen his late mentor look. When Sorina finally turned around, there were tears streaming down her cheeks.

"I think this will look nice in the baby's room." She whispered with sorrowful, and yet hopeful smile.

Jack pulled her in close, kissing the top of her head as he too gazed down at the picture.

"Yeah," he agreed. "It's perfect."

[hecohansen31]

God Bless You and God Bless Me

Oleg The Prophet+Reader (Modern AU)

(A/N): Hello there, lovelies!

Since you seemed to like ‘Like I Never Needed Anyone’, I thought I’d give you more info on what out favorite Russian prince and art curator are doing!

I also wanted to partecipate with this small piece to the writing challenge made by @lisinfleur​ (thank you for creating such a lovely thing!).

Just stay inside and write!

As always: any feedback is welcome, it helps me a lot with writing faster and know where I can get better and what you’d like to see more!

I hope you’ll enjoy this!

Have a nice reading!

SUMMARY:  When you find yourself quarantined with Oleg, some things are brought up, more importantly: the state of your relationship

WORDS: 5,8 K

WARNINGS: Mention of Sex/ Cheating/ Covid-19/ Jealousy/ Insecure! Reader.

You had been secretly hoping of not having to go back home.

So when the entire Covid-19 thing hit your life you thought that maybe… you should have hoped a bit less, because right now you were stuck in Russia for an undetermined time, with no home anymore, since you had cancelled the rent of your apartment, a few weeks prior.

And now you were stuck with finding a new one in these times of need.

You were trying to browse through some options, starting with hotels and B&B, in order to have a roof over your head by tonight, and not have to lean anymore on Oleg.

He had been working in his home office when the news had been given so you weren’t surprised when, a few minutes later, he wandered in your own ‘office’, asking you what was happening, because you were supposed to be up and gone, waiting at the airport for your flight.

‘You should catch up on the news’ you had mumbled softly ‘… apparently due to the latest cases and spreading of the Covid-19 we are in quarantine till further notice and because of this, I am not allowed to leave the country’.

He had seemed surprised as he had moved to lightly bow his head to try to understand fully the length of those news.

‘… and where do you stay?’ he had then proceeded to ask, although an amused glint shone in his eyes ‘… didn’t you cut off the apartment a week ago?’.

It had actually been an idea of Oleg who had pushed you to stay for a week more than you were supposed to, giving you access to a private room in his ‘castle’ as you took a few trips around Russia’s best places, which because of your job you hadn’t been able to visit, previously.

And although that week had you stuck in Russia till the end of this awful epidemic, it had been one of the best week of your life, passed through turning around in bed with a furnace of warmth and through the best Russia could offer, because Oleg wanted desperately to give you ‘the best of the best’.

‘I am checking a few places, tonight I’ll probably stay in a hotel, and then see’ although you had to admit that you weren’t particularly hopeful.

‘You could stay here, dorogaya’ two strong arms, came to gently set around your waist, as he hugged you tight to his chest, gently brushing a few strands of hair away from your shoulder to drop there a small kiss and he lowered your sweater, in a way that made everything fuzzy already.

But you needed to be lucid.

And you pushed him away lightly.

“I do think that I have already taken too much advantage of your hospitality” you mumbled, as you turned to face him, taking in his strong features and before you could properly stop yourself from doing it, you gently pushed an hand to bruise those features and immediately his lips found your palm “… I don’t think it’d be proper”.

“Well, Cristina hasn’t a problem taking advantage of my hospitality” he laughed lightly, as he brought you again closer, this time gently delving in the crook of your neck and he gently lingered his lips against the soft column of your neck “…but seriously, I won’t have a problem hosting you for as long as it takes for this thing to solve”.

“I don’t think that it is a good idea” you mumbled, but this time you didn’t push him away, completely enthralled with the way his lips brushed against your throat “… what will people think?”.

“We are in the 21st century, printsessa” he muttered, as he pushed himself in to face you “… you can stay in a man’s house without a chaperone, and in case you’d need that… you can always ask Cristina to chaperone us”.

“Oh she’d be delighted” you giggled softly as he smirked at you, his hands moving under your chin to make you come face to face with him, as he tried to get your attention meanwhile you loved nothing more than to shift the subject of the conversation.

Life with Oleg was fucking amazing.

It was much more intense than whatever you had had going on with Peter.

And you were falling hard.

Which wasn’t a good thing.

Even more if you were to seriously accept his ‘scandalous proposal’ of living together.

Oleg acted as if you were a couple, but he hadn’t ever uttered anything that might resemble a ‘you are my girlfriend’ or ‘we are together’ and you didn’t want to confuse what was a simple ‘fuckbuddy’ situation for a relationship.

With Oleg anything was so sexual and deeply passionate that whenever serious feelings were involved you’d both fall in each other’s bed, not matter how much resistance you’d put, you’d just be again in his arms waiting for the sun to rise and his lips to grace again your neck.

And his cock to swell against your ass.

“… but seriously…” Oleg’s voice suddenly seemed pained, as if what he was trying to say was difficult “… you don’t have to stay in here, if you are uncomfortable but… I’d just… I wouldn’t feel calm knowing you outside with all this shit going on, kisa”.

And he seemed sincere as he brought your eyes to meet his, and you lost yourself in those inky pearls, eventually nodding your way through what looked like a death sentence for your heart.

“… I am doing this just because I’m taking pity on leaving you and Ivar with Cristina” you mumbled trying to make the intense tension between you disappear, and he was more than happy to lightly indulge you in this laughing softly.

“Oh Gosh, I don’t know whether he likes her or hates her” he retorted as he gently brought you settled more comfortably on him and you shifted on his laps, setting your laptop aside.

“… could be both” you mumbled, gently stabilizing yourself with your arms around his neck as he set his onto your waist “… I am not sure whether Cristina just wants to tease the shit out of him or is just trying to use her ‘charms’ to make him fall in love”.

“And aren’t we lucky that we’ll be the witnesses of this love story?” joked your lover, as he didn’t seem in the slightest interested into knowing it.

He kept looking at your mouth, probably lightly rosy and plump due to your stressed attitude of biting your lips.

“They are just so oblivious with each other” you muttered laughing lightly as Oleg shot you a sarcastic look.

“Says the same girl who thought I was simply ‘ a nice boss’ all the time I was flirting with her” he retorted, making you blush as he dove in for a kiss on your lips, being rejected by your embarrassed face as you swiftly ducked to the side “… c’mon, krasotka, I was very very much flirting with you”.

“… I mean… no you weren’t…” you tried to back away, as you hid your face in your hands, but still you weren’t shielded by Oleg’s deep laugh as his grip onto your hips became definitely stronger “… Gosh was it that obvious?”.

He nodded, before adding.

“Yeah I was pretty obnoxious, Cristina said that if I kept it on I’d scare you…” he mumbled as his mouth started softly teasing your fingers to get you to release your hold on your face “… and believe me at a certain point I just thought that you simply were immune to my charms”.

You laughed softly, finally releasing your hands from your face, allowing him to kiss softly your lips, nothing more than the promise of a better kiss, that came a few minutes later, completely stealing your breath as Oleg’s tongue searched yours.

“… I was just shy, and you were a bit…”.

“… coming off a bit too strong?” he joked, as he laid another kiss on your lips.

“… intense” you completed, as he freed your lips, but not your hand as he undid them behind his neck to hold them, in a way that made you tremble and think that maybe… he did want more.

“Oh” he seemed pretty taken aback, as if he hadn’t expected it “… nobody had ever told me that”.

“It isn’t an insult” you tried to research what that clouded expression on his face meant “… it is just that I haven’t ever been treated the way you treat me, it is just so passionate and…”.

“Because you deserve this, zolotse” he replied softly, as his confused expression turned into a tender one, before he brought your hands to his lips kissing them softly, as he held you tight against him “… you deserved to be treated as a ‘printsesa’ each night and day”.

And you couldn’t help but be choked with the way he looked convinced of what he had just said.

And you were more than happy to let him lead you back to your bed and fuck you the entire morning.

You were barely finished for lunch time, when you met a bored Cristina teasing mercilessly Ivar, Oleg’s friend who had joined you a week ago, due to some familiar troubles.

And since then Cristina had been on his tail like a cat teasing a big and burly dog.

“… oh c’mon, wouldn’t you seriously like some salsa lessons?” you heard Cristina asking Ivar, as she lightly swashed her hips from side to side, a glimpse of happiness in her eyes, which became even more evident as you appeared from the kitchen.

Oleg being in need of a shower would have joined you later.

“… (Y/N)! We have finally all the time in the world for those salsa lessons!”.

Ivar sent you a look as if to say sarcastically ‘aren’t we lucky?’.

“Yeah, I’d wait to say that” you mumbled, trying to save the poor Ivar from further embarrassment “… they’ll probably put us to work on digitalizing the collection”.

“Yeah that is if Oleg wants you to work” joked Cristina, sending you a suggestive side-eye as she come closer to you, and taking in the obnoxious hickey on your neck, as you tried to shield it with your hair “… where is our big man?”.

“Shower” you mumbled, trying to avoid Ivar’s eyes.

One thing was talking about sex with Oleg to Cristina, another to a very flushed Ivar who told you both that he’d be having his lunch in his chamber, since his legs were hurting.

‘.. have a nice chat, girls’ he had concluded with one last look to Cristina and he couldn’t hide the light infatuation, which made you smirk as your friend backed up tiredly till a chair, huffing down on it.

“Gosh why is he such an asshole?” she mumbled, as you sat down in front of her.

“… your constant teasing certainly doesn’t help” you replied, with a reprimanding look.

“I just want to have my fun” she complained, but her look was reflective “… does Oleg know if he has slight crush on me?”.

“Ask him yourself, I am not his secretary” you commented, as one hand darted out to grab on a piece of cheese from the pretty display of meals on the table.

“Gosh, I do understand why he is obsessed with you” she joked, stealing your piece of cheese, as she straight up bit onto it “… you keep him grounded, wow, I love one power couple”.

“We are not a couple” you whispered, as you came to the knot of it all “… he has asked me to stay for the quarantine”.

“Well are you seriously surprised?” she retorted, sending you a look that meant that she knew much more than you “… he is a little dog flapping his tail to you, of course he’d like to have you here”.

“I just…” you tried to reply “… I don’t want to understand one thing when he means another”

“I don’t want to be too forward…” mumbled softly Cristina, understanding the entity of your thoughts “… but he’d literally marry you, if you needed a visa to stay here”.

You both were unable to stop yourself from laughing loud, gaining a quick look from Oleg, who had just appeared on the threshold and you were unable to hide a light blush on your cheeks, as Cristina got up, collecting a small plate of everything and excusing herself.

‘I have an idiot to bother’ she mumbled before exiting dramatically, making you and Oleg giggle, stupidly as he set onto Cristina’s place, in front of you.

“Were you girls having a conversation about us guys?” he asked, a tender light of teasing in his dark eyes.

“My lips are sealed” you muttered, before starting to eat with those ‘sealed lips’.

And Oleg just smiled as if that had been a confirmation of it all.

Five days had passed.

And your relationship with Oleg had lasted.

Which was surprising.

But even more surprising was the way that you had set up a routine.

You’d wake up in Oleg’s arms and you’d start getting ready, being probably interrupted by Oleg in need for attention, refusing to go back to bed and refusing to get fully up.

He’d sometimes succeed in distracting you and sometimes you’d have your own fun in leaving Oleg with blue balls, just for him to find you on your lunch break, fucking you in the first closeted alley he could find, as you tried to keep quiet.

You’d work into digitalizing the collection and taking care of a few local museums’ networks, coordinating you with your American university.

Cristina sometimes helped you and sometimes she’d follow Ivar around like a lost puppy, trying to convince him to step outside of his comfort zone and so far she hadn’t convinced him into doing any salsa, but you’d see the way he had started verbally contrasting her.

That was definitely a sign he was interested.

You just hoped he’d understand it before Cristina finally drove him crazy.

You’d finish work and you’d have dinner, all together, listening to the news as you tried your best to think positively although they weren’t improving and many times you were more than happy to invent some idiotic excuse for Oleg to lead you back to his bedroom and have you there for the rest of the night.

And then you’d love nothing more than to convince yourself that this would last.

And that Oleg wasn’t with you simply for your body or because he felt some kind of obligation to you.

But good things never lasted.

And that Saturday had been the proof.

Although it had started well since you had caught Cristina and Ivar having fallen asleep the previous night, shoulder against shoulder.

You had thought of being the one to do the first move with Oleg for once, and had brought him breakfast in bed, just to be surprised that he wasn’t there.

You had caught him in his office and when you had tried to come in, he had quickly ushered you out, in a way that you’d have used with your dog, a simple gesture but that got irritation flowing through you and you had recklessly slammed the tray of food in the trash bin as you had tried to calm yourself.

Oleg wasn’t your boyfriend he was allowed to have his free time.

But not to treat you like you weren’t there.

Exercising had helped you and you had even tried Cristina’s salsa moves, but Oleg had kept himself stuffed in his office for past the lunch hour and in the afternoon not even the company of a good book and of an interesting art documentary had distracted you.

You should have honestly understood before that the honeymoon period wouldn’t have lasted.

And that it was simply nice sex.

But what got through you honestly, with flashbacks to your relationship with Peter, was the hushed tone you heard him speaking with over the phone, as you faked being asleep on the couch, but secretly heard him speaking Russian.

You hadn’t learned much, but you could distinguish a few phrases from the ‘easy Russian’, you had been learning.

‘It’ll be a nice surprise’ you heard him say ‘… can’t wait to see you, Katya… I honestly am counting down the minutes. This quarantine is awful…’.

And although you had tried your best not to overreact, because Oleg had made you no promises, the way he spoke made you uneasy.

He had found his own ‘beautiful giraffe’.

And you were again broken apart and left behind.

For the entire night you had avoided him, excusing yourself from anything with a terrible headache as Cristina slipped in after you in your room, managing to get to you right as you were closing the door in her face, but she held a bottle of wine, with the promise of a ‘girl talk’.

“I hope that you have some succulent gossip, because all I could grasp is that our chief Mrs. Kravitzok has had a liaison with the gardener” you mumbled, as Cristina approached you with an excited expression, before she blurted out about how her and Ivar had kissed last night.

‘… the couple was kissing on the screen and you know… I was… I was teasing him as usual and then… he leaned in and kissed me to ‘shut me up’’ and you couldn’t help but smile lightly at her excited expression.

“That’s wonderful, Cristina!” you mumbled softly, hugging her tight, as she almost lost her grip on your wine glasses “… Gosh, finally you stopped playing around, and got straight into it! It was getting so so so annoying!”.

“Don’t even dare talk!” she retorted, pushing an accusing look at you “… I literally had to deal with you and Oleg dancing around each other like idiots”.

You couldn’t help but bite nervously your lips, before you ducked your head down to hide your nervousness, but Cristina had seen it from the start.

“… what has happened?” she asked, gently clutching one of your hands.

“I think…” you tried to speak but before you could, a sudden sob let your chest and you were unable to control the one that followed and Cristina tried to move closer “… the honeymoon phase is finished”.

“No no, I know Oleg!” she tried to protest “… he isn’t the type not to go for dramatic, when he can”.

“This morning he shut me off” you mumbled lightly “… and I mean… I guessed it was just work and then he didn’t search me, but Gosh… we aren’t together”.

“You are” retorted Cristina “… you are honestly by Oleg’s standard”.

“… and then I heard him speaking on the phone with another woman, some… Katja” you mumbled, nervously fidgeting with your hand as you tried to calm yourself, but to no avail and Cristina’s slight glance of defeat didn’t pass unnoticed by you.

“It might not be what you think” she tried replying.

“… no no, it should have happened” you replied fatalistically “… I wasn’t already enough for Peter, think for somebody like Oleg? Gosh, how fucking stupid could I be?”.

“You aren’t stupid” replied sweetly Cristina, tenderly enveloping you in an hug, as you let out tightly all your frustrations and insecurities against her, clearly in need of a good talk between you two “… and I’ll fucking gut Oleg if he does have a side-…”.

You just nodded sadly not fully convinced, but you tried your best to fake a smile and a soft nodding, before you cried your heart out on her shoulder, the wine and her gentle consolation eventually getting you to fall in a dark sleep, which left you almost disoriented as you woke up, till the memories all came back.

You were glad to hadn’t slept in Oleg’s room, as you busied your mind with a few things and tried to understand whether you could seriously book a B&B room to distance yourself even further from Oleg.

He certainly wasn’t a gentleman, he wouldn’t have simply thrown out, because he now had understood you weren’t worth it, but you, yourself, couldn’t stand it much longer, if not for your own self-respect, definitely for your self-esteem issues.

But every hotel or place would simply just reply that it wasn’t safe, because of the easy way the virus could spread, preferring to avoid infecting any of their guests.

Which you understood.

But at the same time, you hid all the morning in your room simply to avoid Oleg.

You had been so freaking stupid to think this all would work, too much of a daydreamer and too little of a realist to see that a man like Oleg could go for you

But eventually reality broke through your shelter, and you felt a knock on the door, before Oleg’s face appeared, as he sent you a worried look, taking in your disheveled appearance, as you wore your pajama with your hair up in a messy bun.

No sign of make-up on your tired face.

“Hey…” he tried to mumble, being welcomed by a light ‘grunt’ from you “… is everything alright? How is your head?”.

“Just needed a bit of sleep” you replied, wanting to cut it short, as you busied yourself through some paperwork, which you had already finished everything to do.

“… well I am happy to hear that” he still moved inside, gently closing the door behind him “… we could, if you feel better, join Cristina’s salsa lesson, I don’t know how but she convinced Ivar to join”.

“Oh that’s awesome to hear” your voice spoke true, because you were honestly amazed that Cristina had roped in Ivar “… but I think I’ll have to pass, I have some… work to do, and I don’t think that it’d be good for my…”.

“Don’t bullshit me” the harsh tone of Oleg’s reply made you choke the rest of the phrase and tighten your entire posture which was enough for him to immediately apologize “… I didn’t mean to sound so harsh, it’s just that… this situation is unnerving, dorogaya”.

“What situation?” you tried to relax yourself, to appear unbothered, but you didn’t turn around till he gently put a hand on your shoulder.

“The one where you don’t speak to me eye-to-eye and avoid me” although he tried to humorize it all, he was evidently at unease “… and Cristina has glared me daggers all this morning, this usually means that I have fucked up”.

“I don’t…” you tried to push yourself away, but now that Oleg’s eyes stared at you, you weren’t able to properly reply “… you are the one who started acting weirdly, you shut me off and I heard you on the phone…”.

“I thought you were asleep!” he tried to protest but you just shot me a harsh look.

“Does that allow you to cheat on me?” you replied, letting out a bit of the hanger you had been holding on since yesterday “… does it allow you to shut me off?”.

“I wasn’t cheating on you” he replied, as he pointed every word, his grip onto your shoulder tightening to keep you in place, well aware of the fact that you wanted to do nothing more than to run away “… I didn’t cheat on you, kisa”.

“Don’t fucking use those petnames when I am angry with you!” you retorted as he shot you an amused look through a light smirk “… and don’t fucking smirk at me like you knew better than me!”.

“I wasn’t cheating on you” he protested “… if you just let me explain…”.

“No, I don’t think I will” you replied harshly, as he set you a pleading look “… I was stupid once, but I learned better from Peter, I learned that I fucking should stop thinking that simply because we fuck we are together”.

“Don’t compare me to Peter” again that rageful tone, but this time it was directed to you.

And it made liquid heat drop between your legs.

“… I am not a little fucker who likes to play around, I am fucking committed to you!” and as you were making to reply to him, he shouted again “… the only reason why I didn’t call you my girlfriend, is because I knew that you needed time after Peter, and that you’d be leaving, and I didn’t want this to make you feel uncomfortable!”.

You took a light step back, as Oleg left his grip onto you, his eyes lowering lightly to his own feet.

“I had a small meeting with my ex-wife, yesterday, she has had some problems with the monthly allowance, because of the entire corona shit, last morning… I didn’t want you there because she doesn’t put me in a good mood, she…”.

He lightly messed up his gelled hairstyle, before he continued.

“… and then I talked with Katja, she is a friend… she takes care of a small museum in St. Petersburg, I asked her some questions about whether they were hiring, because…”.

He seemed clumsy and embarrassed.

And you gently pushed him to go on with a small look.

“… because I thought that if you had a job, you might stay… which is stupid and idiotic, but I want you to stay here, even after the entire quarantine shit and everything”.

And you were taken aback, as you linked this newfound knowledge with the fact that he had said he wanted to be committed to you.

And for all this time you had just been too insecure to see it.

“…  and then the entire quarantine happened and I wanted to thank her and be kept in her graces, but I swear on whatever I hold in my heart, I wasn’t… cheating on you” he mumbled as you gently allowed him to come closer “… I love you, even if I know it’s premature and you don’t believe it, I …”.

“I love you, too” it was just a whisper, but Oleg immediately caught it and brought you closer, tightening his grip as his lips found themselves onto the crown of your head.

“… you do?” he asked, almost as a child who wasn’t sure he’d be given or not his Christmas present “… because I have been in love and it was shit, because she didn’t love…”.

“I do” you shut him off “… and I am sorry for being an idiot and ruining everything”.

You felt your tears lightly staining Oleg’s expensive shirt, as he proceeded to coo at you to comfort you as he caressed your hair, in a tender way that just made you feel more awfully of the way you had reacted to it all.

“… not an idiot, solnishko” he mumbled, against you, as one hand came to softly caress your back “…we just need to communicate better, ok?”.

And you nodded lightly, meeting his dark eyes staring back at you, as he brought lightly an hand around your slender neck, caressing it as it followed a path to your face, where it settled bringing you closer, in a tender kiss.

In which you leaned in completely, wanting to shut off and out that envy and insecurities that had brought you down, as Oleg softly moaned against you, an adoration in his gaze that made you blush.

“… you don’t have to… be my girlfriend, if you aren’t…” he tried to mumble, but you just ushered with a quick look, as you joined the hand onto your cheeks, as you moved to kiss his forehead, your body completely entangling with his.

“… I want to be your girlfriend, Oleg, more than anything else” you softly whispered in his ear, nipping it lightly.

“Moya devushka” he mumbled lightly as he peppered your face with kisses, making you giggle as you tried to calm him down, eventually just ending up settled on your bed, a bit too small to hold you both, but Oleg kept you so close to his chest that you definitely saved up space.

“I… I thought about staying” you mumbled, as Oleg immediately shot you a surprised look “… I wanted to ask for another internship in Russia after I came back, maybe try to find a job and…”.

Before you could finish Oleg, smashed an excited kiss on your lips, making you giggle.

“Are you serious?” he asked, practically getting on top of you, and proceeding to look at you as if you were the best thing he had.

And how could you feel insecure with all of that?

“… yes” you mumbled gently, as your arms shot up to gently cradle his head closer ‘… if you don’t mind, I could talk with Katja to ensure that…”.

“Admit it: you don’t want me to talk with her”.

And it was true.

As much as Oleg was allowed to have female friends, you didn’t like Katja since it was linked to your ‘middle breakdown’.

And preferred to handle your life on your own.

“… maybe” you muttered, and Oleg went in with a tickle attack, as he made you laugh till your belly hurt and you admitted “Yes! Ok! I am slightly jealous!”.

“… but I love only you” he mumbled, as he leaned down to softly bit the column of your neck, moving to your ear “… you know it, no need to be jealous, sweetie”.

“I’ll stop when you stop glaring at Ivar for simply looking my way” you reprimanded him, making him lightly growl as he kissed languidly down your neck.

“I am sorry, but you, kisa, are solely and utterly mine to look at” he replied, as he brought a light kiss on your lips, the entire mood of the room quickly shifting to a more sensual one, as he dragged up his lips against yours, teasing in a way that brought you to blush under him, as his hands went lower “… we should really join the others in theirs salsa lessons”.

“My headache is still bothering me” you lied, as you shot him a malicious glance and he didn’t mind indulging you as he raised an eyebrow unconvinced “… and you know what helps with headaches?”.

“Medicines?”.

“… orgasms”.

“Oh” now he definitely looked convinced, tickling lightly your sides as you giggled “… I can do that for you”.

“How was the salsa lesson?” you asked to a very very ‘disheveled’ Cristina as she escaped the laundry room where you were entering.

As much as you loved having an entire staff for this kind of things, there were some things that had to be done on your own, and you’d hate for them to see the way Oleg reduced your underwear.

“… very very intense” she smirked, and you understood the innuendo behind it.

“I don’t know whether I am glad that you finally ‘solved’ all your issues or for the fact that I’ll probably catch you somewhere and be traumatized for the rest of my days” you mumbled, lightly laughing at the way Cristina blushed.

“Don’t even start talking!” she replied, sending you an accusatory look “… I thought you were having a headache and instead all that moaning… I hope that you solved what you had to solve with Oleg too, because if you haven’t… I’ll get myself some earplugs…”.

“We solved” you mumbled with a small smile, blushing lightly “… but thank you for threatening him, he said that you he was worried you’d gut him in sleep”.

“Oh I like having that effect on men” she joked lightly “… but seriously… if he doesn’t propose to you by the end of this quarantine, I’ii be very disappointed, I’d look amazing as your bridesmaid…”.

And before she could sputter more rubbish, Ivar exited the laundry room, immediately surprised of your presence, as he and Cristina blushed lightly, and your mind slowly connected what had happened.

“… we have to make some rules for a peaceful quarantine” you mumbled once you got over the initial shock “… let’s start with ‘don’t fuck in place where other people have to clean their fucking clothes’ ”.

Two couples and not much to do, in quarantine, was definitely the receipt for a disaster.

---

Solnichko=Little Sun.

Malishka=Babygirl.

Krasotka=Gorgeous.

Printsessa=Princess.

Dorogaya=Dear.

Zaika=Bunny.

Kroshka=Little One.

Kiska/KIsa=Kitten.

Сволочь=Asshole.

Мудак=Prick.

Shluha=BItch/Whore.

@ rainycloudstarlight @alyssa23145678910 @ squids-for-knees @youbloodymadgenius @queenboosha @barnzbucky​ @ itsleeshanotlouise @ confusedgirlyy @the–insignificant–one @roury12 @justsomestuffiguessman