#i am violently removed from the fandom

[skxrbrand]

Nurglings are just the Minions of Warhammer, 40k and Fantasy, send post

[demonicbaby666]

A Workplace Brawl

Kinktober 2023 | Criminal Minds Masterlist | Masterlists

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: Emily Prentiss x fem!Reader

Genre: Smut

Words: 1k

Warnings: 18+, minors DNI, just a light bit of fingering really...

A/n: Despite the title, this does not take place in the workplace. I apologise for I am a filthy liar. Also, I rushed this so don't come at me!

‘I fucking hate you’ are the exact four words continuously leaving Emily’s lips, that is, right before she crashes them down on yours. 

It was a rough one today. She’s been working for months to catch the man you’re defending, and all that work had been thrown down the drain due to some idiot filing a key piece of evidence wrong.

Safe to say she’s pissed, and you’re not surprised when a heavy hand pounds violently against your front door. It’s slightly alarming, what with it being close to midnight, but the moment you see that familiar fringe through the peephole, your stomach somewhat settles. 

“Hurry up and open the fucking door.” Emily barks out, hand still thudding on the door.

“Hold on!” You say, unlocking the door and removing the chain, “What brings you to my door in the middle of the night, other than trying to scare the living shit out of me?” 

As she always does, the ravenette doesn’t wait for an invitation. She barges past you before turning around and burning holes into you with her eyes. 

“What the hell was that?” she shouts, and you manage to close the door in time for her bellowed question to be trapped between the walls of your hallway.

“Emily, it’s late. Can we do this another night?” You sigh, “It’s been a long day.” 

“A long day of getting a killer off?” 

You smirk, raising an eyebrow, “As opposed to you?” 

In the blink of an eye, Emily has you pressed against the wall, one hand clasped around your throat and the other traipsing down your body, “You think you’re so smart, don’t you?” 

It’s been this way for a while. She gets angry, you get angry, and then one of you ends up against a wall, writhing in pleasure and seething with hate. 

Emily steadies herself, placing a hand on the wall as you grab her hips and pull her further into you. At this point, it’s instinctual. You can’t help yourself from already feeling fired up and enticed by the opportunity presented. 

Her hands easily find the knot tying your robe closed and effortlessly untangle the barrier preventing her from laying her rough touch over your bare skin. Cold fingers brushed over your stomach, sending shivers through your spine. Involuntarily, your head hits the wall as svelte digits dive into your satin underwear to enter your cunt. 

“I’ve bested you numerous times. So yes, I do consider myself pretty smart,” you moan, looping your arms around the ravenette’s neck. 

The comment earns you a sneer and a violent thrust inside you that tempts the low groan lying dormant in your throat to come out of hiding. The agent quickly silences you with a heavy kiss that promises no mercy or leniency. Her deceitfully soft lips press harshly against your disgruntled scowl before a demanding tongue plunges in and shows off the dominance it holds. 

With two fingers pressing firmly against the ridged lining of your inner walls, you become pliant and submit to the swirling muscle venturing through your mouth. 

A smirk paints Emily’s lips, and you let her bathe in her momentary glory before using her inflated ego to your advantage. Flipping the both of you around, you slam the older woman against the wall and snigger at the discontented grunt that comes from the BAU chief, who is accustomed to always being in control.

She gingerly tries to redouble her efforts, fucking faster and harder into you, though you manage to resist in time to mirror her actions. A hand slides down the front of her slacks and meets a sea of arousal, and you can’t help but revel in the mess you single-handedly created. 

“You really must hate me,” you grin, “I can feel the hate dripping down my fingers.” 

“Shut up and fuck me already,” Emily growls, pressing down on your teasing digits and faltering in her efforts to pump into you continually. 

“The first part, I’m not so sure about. The second, however…” Without warning, you slam three fingers inside her and place your thumb over her clit, applying pressure so hard it must be teetering on the brink of painful. 

Emily cries out, and you dive down to tear into the porcelain skin of her neck, forcing her to scream out your name. Her pulse point thrums over your lips, and you pull the steady beat into your mouth. Feeling the older woman’s breathing hitch, you move around the open space, marking a messy array of red blotches into bitter-perfumed skin. 

The fingers inside you remain stagnant, struggling to provide any stimulation other than bursts of shudders that match the agent’s uneven breathing. 

Reaching down, you guide Emily out of you - ignoring the protested whine - and bring her wet fingers to your lips. “You looked so fucking angry when the judge announced the verdict today,” you tease, taking her fingers into your mouth and sucking your arousal clean, “I had to stop myself from fucking that scowl right off your face in front of everyone.”

“I fucking hate you,” she seethes with her teeth clamped tightly - likely trying to stop an impending moan from slipping free. 

Knowing you hold a modicum of power over her in this moment, you seek out the trapped moan by curling your fingers on the following thrusts and circling the engorged clit beneath your thumb. 

The veins in Emily’s neck look close to bursting as she fights her own body’s need for release. Her throat is bobbing despite her sorrowful attempts to level her breathing, and you decide to give her that last push to take her over the edge. 

“I fucking hate you too, but god, do I love fucking you.” You whisper hotly into her ear, slipping your fingers under her shirt and bra to wrap a possessive hand around her bare breast. 

With her hands gripping your hair so tight there’s a likelihood she’s going to pull it out, Emily finally falls apart.

Tags: @ssa-sapphic @aws-l @babygirlscout @red1culous @7thavenger @sapphicprentiss @five-bi-five-mind @jenna-ortega-is-pretty17177 @supercorpstan97 @kenyakimble34 @12fluffybunny12 @asensitivecookie @summoned-lust-demon @maxinehufflepuffprincess @whosprentiss @asolitaryrose3 @imlike-so-gaydude @maybe-a-humanbean @taylorswiftsboyfriend @bossofcriminalminds @asphodelvamp @jareguiromanoff @lilfartbox1 @lovelyy-moonlight @patronagrona @lostenby | click here to be added to my taglist

[fitsofdespair]

i have hesitated to say anything before now. in part because i removed myself from fandom discourse and really from actively discussing iwtv a year ago. i consider it all a lose-lose situation.

but also because i’m generally of the opinion that black fans don’t need people to be their white saviors, least of all me. black people have never been saved by white people. they were never just given anything when it comes to strides in equality, they fought for it and still fight for it, against constant violent pushback every step of the way. only instead of the good ole’ days when racists just called those fighting for equality uppity, they’re now “bullies” for daring to call you out on your shit after the repeated condescension and the resulting harassment you’ve exhibited towards them.

in this day and age the word bully has zero meaning anymore. i mean come on, melania trump calls people mean about her husband bullies. elon musk thinks he’s being bullied by twitter users, though he clearly holds all the power and is absolutely the problem. its become a meaningless word that goliaths use to call davids because they won’t use the real word they actually want to say. some of these popular blogs are not being bullied, they’re being held accountable for their own actions.

it’s pretty disgusting the number of you who decided to identify strongly with these users that not only fail to question their own racial biases but have gone so far as to suggest black people don’t face racism anymore. this is so fucked. tbh it can be argued in many ways white people, especially in the deep south where i’m from, are inherently raised steeped in racism, even if its not direct. just because your family aren’t ostensibly racist doesn’t mean they didn’t bake their own little prejudices into your upbringing and being raised in your environment didn’t encourage them. even if you don’t see yourself as racist, you have to unlearn all this shit, even if it never once occurred to you that you are part of it. just cause you believe in equality and don’t hate people for their color or cultural background does not make you free of perpetuating microaggressions against them. this applies to fans across the world of course. (like for you white euro iwtv fans, you may say you have no problem with black people but i’ve heard some wild things some of yall have to say about the turks.)

i understand that probably half or more of you are not usamericans. but no matter what environment you live in, no matter where you were raised, there is no excuse for your behavior. just because YOU don’t see racism in your day to day life or are in the more likely situation, too blindly comfortable in your place in society to notice it right in front of your face, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist as a constant presence in other parts of the world or isn’t deeply ensconced in online rhetoric.

so for you white iwtv fans who can’t be fucked to mention let alone defend people you, in many cases once called friend, against the absolute horseshit your current comrades are spewing wrapped up in their nice safe cocoons of victimhood, i hope you do some serious soul searching to figure out if this is who you are, a person too cowardly to call out a friend because it might cost you their friendship. a person quick to condemn others on hearsay because you couldn’t be fucked to wonder am i on the right side of this? and if you do manage to get wise and change your mind, remember its not unforgivable to say, you know what? i was wrong. i wrote in an old post that the hallmark of being a functional adult is changing your views accordingly when you learn new information or even just ruminate on what you know (i myself was a little bitch about ep 5 when it first dropped until i had to sit down and ask myself why i was actually feeling some kind of way about it). dying on a hill is not all its cracked up to be. being told you’re wrong is not always a personal attack and its often an opportunity for improvement if you can be bothered to genuinely hear other people out. an alarming number from all walks of life never figure that out. for my part, i am still learning and hope i never stop learning.

while that sentiments all nice and gooey (i mean them, but i understand its still sacharine to put out there), i am still guilty for not having directly written anything about this until now. and thats on me and i earned any flack i get for that. again, i am more of the mindset that black people don’t need white spokespeople, but that doesn’t mean they'll mind allies. and as a sidebar, going out of your way to say you are rising “above the noise” or “ignoring the drama” is absolutely your right, but it does not make you superior. it just makes you complacent with the status quo. i mean as long as you get to squee!! about anything and everything who cares about other people, right?

[electric-friend]

listen i know the whole “ed did nothing wrong”/“killing and maiming his his coping mechanism uwu” thing is a super silly joke lol and even i found it funny but it’s kinda just pissing me off.

i just hate that they never really properly resolved ed resorting to violence when he’s upset and that he never really takes accountability for his actions onscreen. and when the side of the fandom that takes no issue at all with the way seeason two was presented makes jokes that show they’re like aware of the vibes they just don’t care bc they hold characters they don’t like and characters they do like to entirely different standards. it’s just annoying lol.

like listen. yeah. ed’s my special little babygirl princess haha i love him. but like. i feel like it’s also ignoring the fact that the violence is actually bad for ed’s mental health and we know this and it’s canonically established.

the same people who make “ed did nothing wrong” jokes literally call people who do the same to izzy bad people. not all of them but like the people aligned with that Side of the fandom.

like first of all we know that canonically though ed’s capable of violence it’s not good for him. that’s a huge part of his character, that he doesn’t want to be Blackbeard. so the jokes ur making leave your favourite character unhappy anyway? and if you’re going to talk like that about ed then why is it a CRIME to do the same about izzy?

i think i’m just kinda annoyed bc people act like if you’re critical of the way the writing failed to give ed a great redemption arc it’s because you’re a racist idiot blind with love for izzy, but in fact, you can remove izzy from the equation entirely and it still sucks because it sucks for ed’s character that his arc was so confusing and we left him in such an uncertain place as a character.

listen, i don’t exactly advertise this bc i feel like people won’t understand, but i’ve been through a lot of trauma, and at times in my life when that’s been a lot fresher for me, i’ve had really serious issues with anger and aggression and lashing out. i think that’s why i connected with izzy and i think it’s why i connected with ed so strongly but also found it so hard to watch the first couple episodes of the second season.

and coming from that place, with that perspective, when i talk about ed being abusive towards izzy and the narrative not being resolved, i am NOT hating on ed and cancelling ed and saying ed is an evil person. what i’m saying is that ofmd s2 took on a really, really complex and serious and intense subject matter, and then the writing failed to carry the weight of that. i love ed, and i feel like his character was let down by us not seeing him clearly express that he’s holding himself accountable for his actions on-screen, or even seeing him healing in relation to his violent impulses that come from his trauma. his killing spree in the finale was really odd in terms of his overall arc and is honestly what threw it all off the most for me. like it’s obvious that scenes regarding ed’s apologies and forgiveness from the crew are supposed to have happened and we maybe just didn’t see all of it, because the season was rushed due to the screen time. but a lot of it is also just poor decisions in the writing and the way ed’s storyline is laid out in the final cut.

to me, saying that ed’s arc was beautiful and perfect and it’s wrong to criticise it or to acknowledge the severity of his mistakes and actions isn’t a form of loving ed. it’s a way of saying you’d rather ed actually not take steps towards healing, just because you want to pretend he didn’t do anything wrong in the first place so you can feel like the better person in the conversation. to me, the people who say ed did no wrong are expressing that they actually don’t love ed.

i mean it’s not that deep, it’s all fictional, but i wish people would look beyond their predisposition to condemning criticism of something they like, and see that there’s a lot of heart, and a lot of really personal experience and real-world context behind the arguments people are making, and that other opinions about the writing in s2 are worth listening to even if they make you uncomfortable at first.

[tomatoland]

The TopMew scene that was cut was redundant. We already know top is remorseful and Mew is angry. So I’m not surprised it was cut. He should have kept in the other Top scene though where he turned down the hook up. That would have been more impactful for the character.

Oops, I totally did not see this until now. I doubt you are still around, anon, but I’m going to answer this because I finally organized my thoughts.

I wasn't referring to just the break room scene in that post. It's a cascading effect. There is Mew's softened dialogue in EP 6 confrontation, the two previous cut TopMew scenes, and the break room scene. The fact that Jojo said he wish he kept those earlier two TopMew scenes should not be the case. He should not be regretting anything. Everything he wants to show us, should all be on the table. It is HIS art vision. And if they were not editing the episode the same week as it aired, he would have been able to realize that he wanted to put those scenes back in and done so.

That's what I meant by pacing and confirming the storyline is progressing the way he wants. But what is happening is one cut in one episode is leading to another cut in a future episode because there is no basis for the action anymore. As a result, we are losing overall continuity. And who knows what else they'll have to cut because of the editing choices they've already made. Which is why I am worried, they won't have the scenes left to make this a satisfying TopMew reunion at the rate they are going.

I wish we didn't have the interview where Jojo said that because it's making me not trust him with TopMew anymore. If he realized earlier that those scenes didn't fit, they should have done re-shoots but instead we just have cascading cuts.

Removing all these scenes is removing depth from TopMew. It is making them into surface characters. And none of this deleted footage is canon so there is that too.

Yes, definitely, the scene were Top is trying to move on is incredibly important to learning about Top and how he feels about Mew. And they should have kept that regardless of what random people in the fandom think.

But even the deleted scene of Mew's revenge fantasy of wanting to physically hurt Top from episode 7 is important because it provides a basis for his violent thoughts and words in the break room scene. I wish they had shown it at least the TopMew portion as a flash like an intrusive thought while he was in the tub. Everyone has intrusive thoughts, right? No one could fault Mew for that.

So by not showing us that Mew has had violent thoughts, now Mew's anger in the break room scene seems to come out of nowhere so it no longer fit.

I don't agree about the break room scene being redundant. The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.

So instead of knowing that Mew is still incredibly angry and therefore his actions are irrational, what we got was Mew saying "okay" to trying it again with Top here by the pool and then at the end of the episode, inviting Boeing to go wakeboarding with them and saying shit like this to him.

Oops. I meant to cut the collage below in half, but I’ve already hit 10 images, so read left column and right column separately.

Now, Mew just seems wishy-washy. I would rather have seen the depth of Mew's pain and rage then absolutely nothing at all, his indeterminable poker face however sweet it looks.

Mew being wishy-washy/indifferent or just deciding to get back at Top on any given random day means their relationship doesn't have a viable path forward right now. Because if they cannot communicate honestly and vulnerably about what happened with Boston, their relationship cannot ever heal and get healthy. They'll just always be stepping around the cracks. This is the albatross I was referring to in this post.

Mew has never broken down and cried. We've gotten the lone tear, here or there. And we know from this BTS that they have footage of Book crying his heart out. As the viewer, we haven't seen it because Jojo is not painting us a picture.

But removing the break room scene also removed depth from Top too and TopMew's relationship in general.

It shows us that Top is really sorry and willing to show with actions not just with his words that he wants Mew to move forward, so THEY can move forward. Him being unsure of how to handle a wrathful Mew, but still wanting to try. Him saying he already talked to Boeing, since Mew is deeply insecure about him. Him holding Mew's hand and trying to break down this fortress Mew has built around his heart piece by piece.

The song I posted of what I thought the scene could be saying if it had stayed in. Top's POV: "Love, I don't know how this shit works, but I know we could work things out if we just work together." And that's the key phrase "work together."

And this appeasement photo and answering a fan's tweet that we're going to see happy Mew soon. Jojo thinks we're so dumb.

All I want to do is scream back, "But are they ever going to TALK?!" TopMew cannot just solve this with sex. We need soul vulnerability. And I'm bloody annoyed because prior to episode 10 that is literally all they needed, but instead TopMew went backwards.

[klbwriting]

Our Strange Duet

Chapter 4 - Help From Hoping

Fandom: Red Hood

Pairing: Jason Todd x f!reader

Warnings: violence, blood

Summary: Jason goes on patrol, gets hurt, and shows up at YN's place, just like old times

Taglist: @deans-spinster-witch @amberpanda99

But still I can't help from hoping To find someone to talk to Who likes the way I am - Waitress

The Narrows was active tonight. Dick was off in Bludhaven, dealing with a gun running deal involving Two Face so Jason was on his own, patrolling the area on what was apparently, the busiest night for petty crime in history. He didn’t mind the downtime, and by downtime he meant punching some muggers, maybe cuffing a few of Maroni’s minions to a lamppost, but he was getting bored tonight, itching to go to YN’s place. He had hoped maybe around 1AM he could have checked on her, not waking her, just making sure her windows were secure. God out of context, and even when she had given him permission he sounded like a stalker. He might as well cuff himself to a lamppost. He got the drop on a drug sale to a couple of young-looking teens, approaching, making sure to look as scary as he could, moving the gun he carried so it glinted off a floodlight over the alley door of a nearby club. Scare the teens into not seeking out the drugs and the criminals into leaving the kids alone. The kids took off, but the drug dealer wasn’t exactly frightened. He laughed, producing a knife. Jason glared.

“Dealing to kids is pretty low, even for scum like you,” he said. He could see the dealer roll his eyes, not bothering with a retort. Jason fired, intending to injure the dealer, get him cuffed somewhere as well, but the guy moved, throwing his knife. It was well thrown, slicing through a weak spot on Jason’s arm, right where his protective shoulder padding met the armor on his arms there was gap and that’s where the pain lanced through him. He didn’t flinch, approaching the now dead body of the dealer. He knelt down, frowning at the sight. He hadn’t meant to kill this guy, not that he was heartbroken over it, but he was worried. It was a less than a minute fresh kill and yet the body was…melting, skin dripping, blood that was almost a purple color seeping from the wound. Jason reached to where he kept some evidence bags and collection devices on his belt, getting some skin samples and blood drops to take back to Dick. Something was weird about this body, and he didn’t want whatever it was to sneak up and bite them in the ass because he didn’t do his due diligence. He heard sirens nearby and took off.

He was climbing a fire escape, wanting to get to a rooftop to contact Dick when he felt the pain from the cut in his arm. O ya, that was still there. He winced and sighed, getting to a secluded spot and removing his helmet. He looked at the cut, seeing it took very red around the open wound. He couldn’t wait to get this taken care of or if would definitely get infected and he hated infected wounds. He was 13 the first time he got one and it had made him violently ill for a week and he never wanted that experience again. He put the helmet back on and took in his surroundings. There was a safehouse nearby, or there was YN’s place. It was an easy choice. He dropped by her window, the ledge barely enough room for him to fit, but he made do. He knocked and the light came on. Her face appeared, looking freshly awakened, but still alert. She saw him and opened it, letting him climb in. By the time he closed the window and curtains again she was back with a large first aid kit.

“Do you need help getting the gear off still or have you made that part easier?” she asked, and his heart stuttered. It was just like old times, she was ready to just help, no questions asked. He pulled off the helmet and she took it, setting it gently on her dresser. He moved to his arm, removing his armor there and then hitting a button on the back of his neck that had the chest and shoulder protection loosen. She grabbed the front, pulling it off him, quietly working like this happened every night. She did have to help with his shirt, getting it over his head.

“Maybe could have just cut off the sleeve…” Jason said but quieted when he saw her looking at him, her eyes crawling slowly over his skin, taking in ever muscle, freckle, and scar. He smirked a moment, glad he still could get this reaction from her, then he blushed as he thought about her, what she would look like, feel like, so many things he normally only let himself think about when he was alone.

“Get on the bed Jason,” she said, and he startled for a second, blanking on why she was asking him to do that and then thinking of about one thousand things to do in that bed with her. “Be easier to stitch up your arm if you’re laying down. He turned a shade of red he didn’t know existed and laid down, letting her angle his arm on a towel so that she could get a better look at it. “I took some low level EMT classes over the summer in case I ever met up with you again…”

“So that’s why you have a first aid kit the size of a dishwasher,” he said, grunting a little as she disinfected his wound. She chuckled before shaking her head and getting the needle and thread ready.

“No, I bought that the day after we started talking again, knew it was a matter of time before you showed up bloody at my window,” she said, starting to stitch him. “So, what was it tonight? Assassins? Mutants? Rogue nun?”

“You’d be surprised that nuns are very violent,” he said. “But no, a drug dealer. He was selling to some kids, I was going to shoot his shoulder, injure him so I could cuff him somewhere for the cops, but he threw a knife at me, ended up killing him. Then he melted…” The needle stilled for just a moment, but Jason noticed.

“Melted?” she asked, waiting a second too long. He frowned, side eyeing her as she tied off the stitches, putting everything away to be cleaned before bandaging his arm. She moved to put things away, but he grabbed her hand. He was ignoring the question gnawing at his brain now.

“Thank you,” he said softly. “I know I can’t just drop in like this anymore, I’m not your boyfriend or anything…”

“Jason, you’re my forever, you never have to ask to come here, I will never shut you out,” she said, looking at him. “Boyfriend, friend, whatever, you can always come to me.” He nodded, swallowing hard.

“Thank you,” he said softly. “Um, so before, you paused…”

“The melted people thing?” she said quickly. He nodded. “I just know that Maroni is probably involved, and it makes my skin crawl. The only thing I really know that he told me in the brief time I was speaking with him, was that he had something new that he was going to implement, something to make sure his drugs were able to be the only pills people wanted. I’m not sure what it is or how it works though.” He nodded, sitting up more as she sat down on the bed next to him.

“Thank you for the information, I’ll talk to Dick about that later,” he said. She reached out, brushing hair behind her ear and she leaned into the touch before catching his hand and holding it.

“I wanted to talk to you about something, can you stay for a little bit?” she asked. He nodded. The city could be burning, and he would take a few minutes for her, no matter what his vigilante drive told him, if she needed him, he was going to be there. She got up, grabbing some papers from her desk, sitting down again, showing them to him. “I wanted to find the mysterious donor to thank them for trying to help my mother and for setting me up back here in Gotham. Be honest with me, did you or Dick do this? Is this corporation that is listed at the official ‘donor’ one of yours?” she asked. Jason took the paperwork, looking at the bank statement and then the letter. His eyes caught on the name of the company, Plostast Holdings and his heart stopped. ‘The last stop Jason, where you were when I found you, and the place you’ll be when you are old enough to be a Wayne and not just a Robin’ Bruce had said, laughing at his own lame anagram. Plostast was where Jason would be able to make a name for himself, turning the company into whatever he wanted, something for after Robin so he could keep helping people. Jason’s vision was tunneling, and he felt himself falling.

“Jason? Jason!” YN was calling. He moaned softly, eyes opening. She was over him, staring down at him, worry creasing her forehead. “Are you ok?” He must have passed out. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know that you would react like that.” She helped him sit up again, feeling his face and looking into his eyes, making sure he was all back. He could feel he was sweating; his head was aching at the moment.

“Do you have any pain pills?” he asked, he needed something, or he wasn’t going to be able to focus on getting back home. She nodded and reached into her kit again, getting some headache meds and giving him water. He took them and drank the glass, trying to organize his thoughts. “Bruce…that’s who the donor was,” he said finally. Her eyes widened.

“Why? Why would he do any of that? Have you talked to him?” she asked, already knowing that he hadn’t. He shook his head again. “Why would he help and not talk to you about it?”

“I don’t know, not like he cares about me at all,” he said, fists clenching. He felt her hand on his cheek, turning him to look at her again. “Green?” he asked. She nodded. He tried to will away the anger and rage that came to him at the thought of Bruce out there, butting into Jason’s life but not coming to him directly. Why do it this way? To draw him out?

“I will go to Bruce, talk to him. I will make sure he knows I will pay him back; I don’t want any of his money, not when it should be spent on you,” she said. Jason leaned to her, his head falling to her shoulder. “He doesn’t get to abandon you and then try to buy me. If I had known…”

“You would have taken the money anyways,” he said softly. YN turned to look at him, almost offended. “I would have forced you too, to go and help your mom. I know the treatment didn’t work but at the time it was hope and you needed it and I would do anything for you, including telling you to take Bruce Wayne’s money.” She smiled softly, looking at him. He looked at her and he wasn’t sure when the moment shifted. One second, he was looking at her, glad for her to be there with him and the next he needed to kiss her, for her to know that he still loved her, that he still wanted to be hers. She must have felt the same because in an instant their lips met and she was holding him, one hand in his hair, the other on his back, his arms around her waist, pulling her to him. He wasn’t sure how long they kissed, going from deep and passionate to soft, little kisses traded over several minutes of just smiling and whispering to each other. He barely noticed when the sun started to peek into the room.

“You need to get home, Dick will be worried,” she said softly. He nodded, looking at her, a question on his face. “I won’t be kissing anyone else if you’re worried about that, who could I possibly kiss that would live up to Jason ‘Red Hood’ Todd?” Jason smiled and nodded, pulling his shirt back on and getting his gear back on again. She went, grabbing the helmet from the dresser. She kissed him again before he put the helmet back on and headed out the window. The morning was bittersweet, mixing the feeling of getting what he wanted, YN back into his arms, with the confusion of Bruce. He didn’t know how he felt, but he needed answers.

[hawkogurl]

in the genuine way possible, Why do you like Raimi verse MJ?

Would like a description of your thoughts.

So I just woke up (I know it’s 6PM I work night shifts) so this might not be as well verbalized as it could be. (Update: I put this in drafts and am now adding to it at midnight but I have had a day so prior warnings apply)

But for me, she’s a nuanced and flawed female character who isn’t given the credit for that she deserves and I think she kicks ass as a result. I don’t need characters I like to be good people, I need them to be interesting. She’s interesting.

But in terms of what people normally hate her for, I don’t really tend to agree for a variety of reasons. The main thing people get on her about is cheating, which is very much true, but that feels unfair when Peter also cheats! And he doesn’t see nearly the same amount of shit thrown at him that MJ does! (Wonder why that is?) Hell, he hits her while he has the symbiote but I barely see people bring it up. But on the note of her cheating, I don’t mind it because we’re given a reason as to why she’s got such bad commitment issues that I find interesting. She grew up in an extremely unstable home with a seemingly chronically ill mother and a verbally and likely physically abusive father. She’s a dysfunctional person for sure, but we as a community are more than willing to read into and analyze far worse behaviors in Peter, Harry, hell, people outright ignore Norman being an abusive father. It’s bs to me that she’s not given the same treatment. Shes someone who grew up in an unstable environment. Shes used to that. Her entire life in her formative years was that. As a result, the way I see it, she either gets into relationships with people who tend to continue not treating her well (Flash and to a degree Harry.) and when she’s in more stable relationships that hurt her less, (like John) I theorize that the reason she does so much to put them in jeopardy is that her, stability with men in her life is always something that has ended inevitably, but abruptly and probably violently. Being the one to destroy a relationship her trauma screams at her will inevitably end with her being hurt again gives her a sense of control.

And on top of that, I find her emotional responses to Peter’s behavior while he dates her extremely human! Sure, she definitely makes mistakes in how she handles it, but I personally absolutely hate the degree to which people ignore Peter’s own mistreatment of her. I’m not gonna claim she did nothing wrong, but people in this fandom have a tendency to remove responsibility or the ability to have done something wrong from Peter. At that point in the movies, Peter has everything going for him. His life is finally going well and as a result of his own inflated ego and the fact the world has revolved around him he sort of seems to forget that she has her own life and her own problems that she wants to be heard and understood and supported through. His ability to do that is one of the things that drew her to him in the first movie and she’s watching him as it becomes apparent he doesn’t really have that anymore. Everything in his life revolves around him and has for years, so when her life problems get brought up and he makes them about himself and remains somewhat unempathetic and so absorbed in his own joy he doesn’t notice how poorly she’s doing, I find it personally hard to deny that’s exactly how I would feel in that situation. I hate that people refuse to empathize with her, or when they do on a surface level they still refuse to acknowledge any blame Peter has there. Hell, I find it hard to deny that I’m irritated that it’s basically overlooked that Peter kissed another woman in front of her face but people will rip her to shreds for kissing another man one time. I’m not gonna say she didn’t fuck up, but I find the way she’s treated unfair and I frankly think the opinion wouldn’t skew the same if she was a man for both of these topics.

I also just like that she’s a person? She has emotions that feel real, she has a life and a career outside her relationship with Peter, she has compelling trauma that informs her decisions. I frankly find her to be a more nuanced and interesting character than MCU MJ or TASM Gwen simply because she feels more well rounded and flawed. They’re better and more likeable love interests, but I frankly think she’s a better character. Everything that people praise in them as something that makes them Better Than Raimi MJ either feels like rather shallow traits or things that feel somewhat misogynistic towards Raimi MJ, a character who they claim they don’t like due to misogynistic writing. No hate to those to ladies, I see the appeal to them and I think people should like them, but Raimi Mj has more depth to me.

In conclusion: To like a character I don’t need them to be a good person I need them to be interesting. Shes interesting. Also everyone in this trilogy, including Peter, is at least somewhat a bad person. So I don’t know why she specifically is being treated with so much less grace other than the obvious reason.

[dontbotherwiththepronunciation]

I really wish we could talk about Jeyne bullying Arya without people going completely feral, because as someone who was bullied (tragicomically involving the nickname "horseface" and even neighing when I walked by), and who can't even watch high school comedies like mean girls without wanting to die, I feel like it's so reductive to deny any possibility of conflict between the Arya-Jeyne-Sansa dynamic that is more than "mean girls vs pretty-but-doesn't-know-it-yet-girl situation" or "violent paranoid schizophrenic with a persecution complex feels victimised by girls who actually do their schoolwork" while still acknowledging Jeyne as a bully and Arya as a victim.

Jeyne is such a weird character to me, because I never feel this attached to the archetype she embodies.

And still, her dynamic with the two Stark sisters is interesting and the confusion in fandom is COMPLETELY fascinating and borderline triggering to witness, because it reminds me a lot to how a class of high schoolers reacts to *gasps, looks around to see no one is listening and whispers* bullying *lightning and thunder strike on the background to signify the gravity of such a word*.

Person A: What? What are you talking about?! She is exaggerating everything! Sansa never called her that! It was only Jeyne and I bet she only did it once! Person B: Oh, no it was just Jeyne who did it. Sansa told her to stop, but she just kept at it because she is less educated. Person C: No, Jeyne was actually just doing it to impress Sansa. Sansa is the real villain here. DontbotherwiththepronunciationIn2013: I don't think "bullying" is the right term. It's not that bad, Arya should get over it. It was just hurtful teasing.

Now I realise that "hurtful teasing" is in fact bullying.

So, if going by canon:

I think Jeyne came up with the name "Horseface".

I think Jeyne used to neigh at Arya when she was passing.

I think Sansa probably used that name at some point in her life or maybe multiple times.

I think that silence bestows. I think inaction can be encouraging more action. I think passiveness can be as harming as aggressiveness.

I do NOT however think that neither Jeyne nor Sansa are inherently despicable evil people for bullying Arya. I think they are still children. I think, like in most situations involving bullying and children, it's the adults who are at fault for not putting a stop to it, and sometimes even encouraging it.

Before starting to rant, I want to say:

I don't consider myself an expert on any of these characters!!!!!

So if I'm saying something disproportionately wrong in the following, I am open to being corrected.

With that said, I think this is a network of issues, most of them involving socioeconomic classes and period-compliant misogyny. I think it might look like this:

I know that focussing on this is a little pointless because the three main actors involved in this have been violently removed from the situation, (and most of the remaining cast is dead) but at the same time their possible future reunion will be even more violent and they probably won't even have time to cope.

And I can't sleep and I feel horrible and I already drew that dumb mind-map on my phone.

So, I'm starting with the least tangled component in this thing.

Ⅰ. The passive perpetrator, Blind Beth Cassel

To her sister and sister's friends and all the rest, she had just been Arya Horseface. - The Blind Girl, ADWD

I have loved the "Blind Beth" concept since I first read it.

It's so interesting to me how the most Beth interested part of fandom is the Theon corner, yet in the entire Arya-Sansa narrative she barely appears and rarely in meta. The closest I've come to find analysis on Beth & Sansa was in this gorgeous collage highlighting them as victims of violence from different sources in ACOK, but asides from that, there isn't much there. And at least with Sansa I can understand it. Sansa doesn't think of Beth once in the entire books. Arya on the other hand names one of her many identities after Beth and I think the characteristic chosen to describe that persona was a very smart and painful reminder from GRRM.

Arya thinks of Beth Cassel in two occasions. Once in AGOT, when we first meet them,

She studied her own work again, looking for some way to salvage it, then sighed and put down the needle. She looked glumly at her sister. Sansa was chatting away happily as she worked. Beth Cassel, Ser Rodrik's little girl, was sitting by her feet, listening to every word she said, and Jeyne Poole was leaning over to whisper something in her ear. "What are you talking about?" Arya asked suddenly. Jeyne gave her a startled look, then giggled. Sansa looked abashed. Beth blushed. No one answered. "Tell me," Arya said. "Joffrey likes your sister," Jeyne whispered, proud as if she had something to do with it. She was the daughter of Winterfell's steward and Sansa's dearest friend. "He told her she was very beautiful." "He's going to marry her," little Beth said dreamily, hugging herself. "Then Sansa will be queen of all the realm." Sansa had the grace to blush. She blushed prettily. She did everything prettily, Arya thought with dull resentment. "Beth, you shouldn't make up stories," Sansa corrected the younger girl, gently stroking her hair to take the harshness out of her words. - Arya I, AGOT

AND once in Braavos, when she is thinking of her life a Winterfell,

"Beth." She had known a Beth once, back at Winterfell when she was Arya Stark. Maybe that was why she'd picked the name. Or maybe it was just because it went so well with blind. - The Blind Girl, ADWD

Our first assumption as readers to the name "Beth" going so well with "blind" is because it is an alliteration. Who doesn't love alliterations? Tell me you don't love Sir Gawain and the Green Knight with all it's stylistic devices! They are lovely. And perhaps "Blind Beth" is only one of GRRM's alliterations acknowledged by a character.

Or perhaps "Blind" and "Beth" also go so well with each other, because apparently, and basing this from Arya's POV (the only one involving Sansa, Jeyne & Beth all together), Beth is a passive perpetrator. The typical class mate who pretends not to see the bullying and the way it affects the victim. The one who is decent or even kind when alone, but alienating when they are accompanied by a group.

I have seen certain takes claiming that Arya's POV in AGOT isn't a reliable source when involving the dynamic between her and the other girls in Winterfell.

That is possible, but she is our only source. As said, Sansa doesn't ever think of Beth, so if I want to examine her it has to be through Arya's eyes.

I would like to take the scene in AGOT once again and look at it more closely this time.

She studied her own work again, looking for some way to salvage it, then sighed and put down the needle. She looked glumly at her sister. Sansa was chatting away happily as she worked. Beth Cassel, Ser Rodrik's little girl, was sitting by her feet, listening to every word she said, and Jeyne Poole was leaning over to whisper something in her ear.

The object composition is so carefully placed that I find it difficult to believe it is not supposed to have a meaning. Jeyne whispers into Sansa's ear, an image I often associate with a political advisor plotting or scheming with the ruler they serve (which she will remind me of again in future AGOT chapters). Beth has a lower position in the hierarchy She is sitting at Sansa's feet, completely enthralled to whatever it is Sansa says. She probably seeks her approval.

(There is this very sweet art depicting the image of Sansa, Beth and Jeyne and even if I kind of feel guilty for reading the scene as them alienating another girl and still enjoying the art, I still want to share it because it's very cute.)

"What are you talking about?" Arya asked suddenly. Jeyne gave her a startled look, then giggled. Sansa looked abashed. Beth blushed. No one answered.

Jeyne's reaction is alienating. She giggles and denies Arya the knowledge behind that sudden laughter. It always reminded me a little of how Theon's smiles are often described contemptuously, probably because people tend to think he is actually laughing/smiling at them. They think he is mocking them. I don't think this is something completely involuntarily. I think Jeyne knows that giggling when Arya is asking to be integrated to the group is painful to her. Sansa is described to look "abashed" which I take as uncomfortable. I thinks she is aware this is mean spirited. She still doesn't do anything, but she is at least "abashed". Beth seems to follow this reaction but her description is only physical, not necessarily tied to an explicit emotion. Still, they collectively refuse to include Arya into the conversation.

"Tell me," Arya said. "Joffrey likes your sister," Jeyne whispered, proud as if she had something to do with it. She was the daughter of Winterfell's steward and Sansa's dearest friend. "He told her she was very beautiful." "He's going to marry her," little Beth said dreamily, hugging herself. "Then Sansa will be queen of all the realm."

Arya has to insist to be accepted as part of the group. It is not Sansa who acts as the typical "Queen Bee" and grants her that privilege, but Jeyne. Jeyne is the one who speaks in a slightly haughty manner. Only after getting Jeyne's implicit permission does Beth make a comment. She is not described with any type of rancour by Arya.

Sansa had the grace to blush. She blushed prettily. She did everything prettily, Arya thought with dull resentment. "Beth, you shouldn't make up stories," Sansa corrected the younger girl, gently stroking her hair to take the harshness out of her words.

This is an interesting passage to me, but not because of Beth as a passive perpetrator, but because this is the first time I can think of where we are confronted with another monster that will play a role in here, the green-eyed beast;

Ⅱ. Envy

Not it's more mild mannered cousin jealousy that gets spoken of more in fandom, but envy!

Jealousy is usually seen as a less malevolent feeling, but the term is often used when actually referring to envy, so I will clarify that jealousy could be defined as a feeling of defensiveness and protectiveness over what you think to be yours and feel threatened or fearful of possibly losing it.

Envy is not protective or defensive, its offensive. It is a feeling of resentment over what another person or group has - be it a a material possession, a skill, or an emotional bond - and you feel you lack.

And oh boy, there is a lot of envy oozing from that medieval class room, some it more legitimate than other, but all felt.

Before continuing I want to clarify that Arya’s very real pain and low self-esteem, and the cruel ways in which Sansa sometimes treats her during AGOT shouldn't be dismissed as "deserved" or "exaggerated" because of her envy.

Ⅱ. Ⅰ. ARYA'S ENVY

Probably the easiest to locate.

In the formerly mentioned passage we see Arya being envious of Sansa. I would argue it's not up to interpretation since "with dull resentment" makes it very clear to me, but there is also tenderness. I don't think Arya hates Sansa, or at least not in that moment.

Something curious about envy is that it's not an entertaining sin. It's damaging not only to those you envy, but perhaps mostly to yourself. It is self-poisoning. And I think that during that scene Arya, isn't manifesting her envy. She very rarely verbalises it, instead she swallows her own anger and keeps it inside her. I couldn't find any passages where envy is the driving force on the few occasions Arya hurts Sansa. The closest I came to that is:

Arya wanted to scream. It was just like Sansa to go and attract the septa's attention. "Here," she said, surrendering up her work. - Arya I, AGOT

But even then, her envy only hurts herself.

Arya longs to be like Sansa. She wants to be considered as pretty as Sansa, she wants to be as skilled as her sister and to feel accepted by the other girls in the group.

It wasn't fair. Sansa had everything. Sansa was two years older; maybe by the time Arya had been born, there had been nothing left. Often it felt that way. Sansa could sew and dance and sing. She wrote poetry. She knew how to dress. She played the high harp and the bells. Worse, she was beautiful. Sansa had gotten their mother's fine high cheekbones and the thick auburn hair of the Tullys. Arya took after their lord father. Her hair was a lusterless brown, and her face was long and solemn. Jeyne used to call her Arya Horseface, and neigh whenever she came near. It hurt that the one thing Arya could do better than her sister was ride a horse. Well, that and manage a household. Sansa had never had much of a head for figures. If she did marry Prince Joff, Arya hoped for his sake that he had a good steward. - Arya I, AGOT

I find it curious how Arya starts off listing skills, yet the thing that pains her the most is related to her appearance.

What starts as painful envy becomes a self deprecating chuckle and later maybe even a half-optimistic outlook on her own strength. Arya recognises that she is not worthless or fully inferior to her sister. She is able to find qualities in herself and they way she does is endearing. She internally even makes fun of Sansa for not being as good as she is in this one little thing.

Sadly she is still aware of how in the eyes of most, Sansa is the one deemed worthy of admiration and emulation, while the best Arya can get is pity.

The septa examined the fabric. "Arya, Arya, Arya," she said. "This will not do. This will not do at all." Everyone was looking at her. It was too much. Sansa was too well bred to smile at her sister's disgrace, but Jeyne was smirking on her behalf. Even Princess Myrcella looked sorry for her. Arya felt tears filling her eyes. She pushed herself out of her chair and bolted for the door. - Arya I, AGOT

And Arya's envy doesn't come from simply being Arya, it comes from Arya not being seen as a valuable person by Westerosi society and, in my opinion, most importantly, by her mother.

I refer to the parent-child relationships on the whiteboard as "perceived", not because I deem them false or delusional, but because I've seen a lot of debate going around this topic and whether the favouritism is true or not and I don't know what to believe and honestly I don't care too much about it.

At this part of the conflict we don't really need to know if the Ned-Arya and Cat-Sansa favouritism is true or not. We just need to know that both girls feel some insecurity over their bond with their parents and feel envy.

Personally, I think both Stark parents love all their children deeply, it's just that love sometimes isn't perceived the way we want it to.

Both of her parents had conventional expectations for Arya, but it seems to me that Catelyn was the one who upheld these expectations while Ned acted more permissive. Eddard still intends for her to lead a life that is typical to that of a Lady,

"[...] And it is past time that Arya learned the ways of a southron court. In a few years she will be of an age to marry too." - Catelyn II, AGOT

But it's not Eddard who Arya is terrified of:

It was worse than Jon had thought. It wasn't Septa Mordane waiting in her room. It was Septa Mordane and her mother. - Arya I, AGOT

And it's not Eddard whom Arya often fears being rejected by or disappointing.

Her father tells Arya she remembers him of Lyanna, a woman who is not only remembered as beautiful but also as loved and desired, and also shared some of her interests, such as swordsmanship.

Her mother though..

"Sansa's work is as pretty as she is," Septa Mordane told their lady mother once. "She has such fine, delicate hands." When Lady Catelyn had asked about Arya, the septa had sniffed. "Arya has the hands of a blacksmith." - Arya I, AGOT

Sansa would shine in the south, Catelyn thought to herself, and the gods knew that Arya needed refinement. - Catelyn II, AGOT

“…my hair’s messy and my nails are dirty and my feet are all hard.” Robb wouldn’t care about that, probably, but her mother would. Lady Catelyn always wanted her to be like Sansa, to sing and dance and sew and mind her courtesies. Just thinking of it made Arya try to comb her hair with her fingers, but it was all tangles and mats, and all she did was tear some out.“ - Arya VII, ASOS

Her mother used to say she could be pretty if she would just wash and brush her hair and take more care with her dress, the way her sister did. - The Blind girl, ADWD

And a recurring pattern in those lines is a comparison to Sansa, the sister who is not constantly failing at fulfilling society's expectations on her. The sister who she wishes she could emulate while also staying true to the person she is. The sister who seems to act as a passive perpetrator of Jeyne's bullying and sometimes acts cruel herself.

Ⅱ. Ⅱ. SANSA'S ENVY AND EMBARASSEMENT

When I first read AGOT, I didn't like any of the Stark sisters. I actually think the only Stark I liked back then was Bran. I was about as old as they were, had my own issues with internalised misogyny and thought both of them were a little annoying. My views on both of them during AGOT have changed A LOT in the past ten years and while I like who they become as the books move n, much more than I like who they were at the beginning, I've become very fond of their AGOT selves. And I think they are children! Children make mistakes! Children are shallow and impulsive and hedonistic.

So, I don't think Arya is the only person here who has a few negatives feelings about her sister.

More than envy I think Sansa feels second-hand embarrassment by Arya's behaviour and wishes she wouldn't be associated with her, and this is something Arya is aware of.

She was barefoot and dirty, her hair tangled from the long run through the castle, clad in a jerkin ripped by cat claws and brown roughspun pants hacked off above her scabby knees. You don't wear skirts and silks when you're catching cats. Quickly she lowered her head and dropped to one knee. Maybe they wouldn't recognize her. If they did, she would never hear the end of it. Septa Mordane would be mortified, and Sansa would never speak to her again from the shame. - Arya III, AGOT

Arya looked down at her ragged clothes and bare feet, all cracked and callused. She saw the dirt under her nails, the scabs on her elbows, the scratches on her hands. Septa Mordane wouldn't even know me, I bet. Sansa might, but she'd pretend not to. - Arya V, ACOK

And we also see Sansa wanting to deny association between her and her sister multiple times during AGOT:

Why couldn't Arya be sweet and delicate and kind, like Princess Myrcella? She would have liked a sister like that. - Sansa I, AGOT

"Send Arya away, she started it, Father, I swear it. I'll be good, you'll see, just let me stay and I promise to be as fine and noble and courteous as the queen." - Sansa III, AGOT

"[...]I have only to remember how your sister set her wolf on my son." "I'm not like Arya," Sansa blurted. "She has the traitor's blood, not me. I'm good, ask Septa Mordane, she'll tell you, I only want to be Joffrey's loyal and loving wife." - Sansa IV, AGOT

Envy is something less present in Sansa's case, but I dare to think there is still a little of it lingering in her feelings. As if we had a cross involving affections and what is perceived by each Stark sister as a special relationship or favouritism between their fraternal foe and a respective parent.

One day she came back grinning her horsey grin, her hair all tangled and her clothes covered in mud, clutching a raggedy bunch of purple and green flowers for Father.  - Sansa II, AGOT

There is envy perhaps not of the relationship itself, but of the liberation that comes with it, but I don't even think this is actually Eddard's fault, I think this has more to do with the overall social conditioning of girlhood in Westeros and with another adult.

Ⅱ. Ⅲ. SEPTA MORDANE AND THE SOCIAL CONDITIONING

Septa Mordane sees Sansa as an exemplary student and she has reasons to do so. Sansa is a good and well mannered girls who fits into the model Septa Mordane is trying to shape the girls into. She performs her assigned gender roles with grace and is willingly doing so. Sansa enjoys being a Lady, it makes her feel worthy and it allows her to daydream and enjoy romantic hobbies like poetry or singing.

Arya doesn't. Partially because she rejects that model, partially because she id rejected by that model. I don't know what came first.

And yet, Sansa also sometimes seems to feel encaged by that model and by the Septa's teachings. And often, when Sansa does something that contradicts this model of conduct that she usually likes following, her thoughts go to Arya. She compares herself or gets compared to Arya, not necessarily in a pejorative manner, but almost seeing her sister as a little devil on her shoulder.

The kitchen yielded no lemon cakes, but they did find half of a cold strawberry pie, and that was almost as good. They ate it on the tower steps, giggling and gossiping and sharing secrets, and Sansa went to bed that night feeling almost as wicked as Arya. - Sansa III, AGOT

Sansa sighed. "They rode with Lord Beric, to behead Ser Gregor Clegane." She turned to Septa Mordane, who was eating porridge with a wooden spoon. "Septa, will Lord Beric spike Ser Gregor's head on his own gate or bring it back here for the king?" She and Jeyne Poole had been arguing over that last night. The septa was horror-struck. "A lady does not discuss such things over her porridge. Where are your courtesies, Sansa? I swear, of late you've been near as bad as your sister." - Sansa III, AGOT

"It was for love," Sansa said in a rush. "Father wouldn't even give me leave to say farewell." She was the good girl, the obedient girl, but she had felt as wicked as Arya that morning, sneaking away from Septa Mordane, defying her lord father. - Sansa IV, AGOT

And who is usually disapproving of Arya's ways and telling her she puts them to shame?

Septa Mordane called after her. "Arya, come back here! Don't you take another step! Your lady mother will hear of this. In front of our royal princess too! You'll shame us all!" - Arya I, AGOT

And knowing how much Sansa cares about the way she is perceived by others, I can imagine Sansa thinking in frustration that it's unfair she gets reprimanded for these type of things when Arya does them all the time without realising that Arya suffers constantly because if it. It's just that they are less common in Sansa, so people are more surprised and "hopeful" of rectifying them. Septa Mordane almost looks at Arya as a lost cause. When she nags at Sansa it's because she wants to avoid Sansa becoming another lost cause.

And it's not that Septa Mordane is an evil witch trying to make Arya's life impossible. As much as I dislike Eddard Stark, I agree with him. This woman is just doing the job he and Cat tasked her to do. It's that she is part of an institution where girls like Arya aren't as valued as girls like Sansa.

Personally, I think she is one of the people carrying the most responsibility over Arya's bullying. I wouldn't say she participates in it, but she enables it.

During AGOT Arya describes Septa Mordane in an unflattering way and it is one of the few occasions where I don't think I should fully trust her POV, because yes, this woman is antagonistic to Arya, but I don't think she hates her.

"Septa Mordane is beside herself with fear. She's in the sept praying for your safe return." - Arya III, AGOT

I think, in her own flawed way, she is trying to "help" Arya adapt into conventional views of gender and Arya is having none of that (good for her!).

"Just where do you think you are going, Arya?" the septa demanded. Arya glared at her. "I have to go shoe a horse," she said sweetly, taking a brief satisfaction in the shock on the septa's face. Then she whirled and made her exit, running down the steps as fast as her feet would take her. - Arya I, AGOT

"Pray, where do you think you are going, young lady?" Septa Mordane asked. "I'm not hungry." Arya found it an effort to remember her courtesies. "May I be excused, please?" she recited stiffly. "You may not," the septa said. "You have scarcely touched your food. You will sit down and clean your plate." "You clean it!" Before anyone could stop her, Arya bolted for the door as the men laughed and Septa Mordane called loudly after her, her voice rising higher and higher. - Arya II, AGOT

Arya spun around, with Needle in her hand. "You better not come in here!" she warned. She slashed at the air savagely. "The Hand will hear of this!" Septa Mordane raged. "I don't care," Arya screamed. "Go away." - Arya II, AGOT

Poor woman is so frustrated with her job she one day passes out drunk on the table.

And I think Sansa suffers under her too, not because she dislikes the customs and views on femininity - she often recalls on Septa Mordane's teachings in moments of emotional need (Lady's armour is courtesy, find the beauty in every man) - but I think that as readers we can see how those are harming for her too.

"I've never seen an aurochs," Sansa said, feeding a piece of bacon to Lady under the table. The direwolf took it from her hand, as delicate as a queen. Septa Mordane sniffed in disapproval. "A noble lady does not feed dogs at her table," she said, breaking off another piece of comb and letting the honey drip down onto her bread. - Sansa II, AGOT

Sansa cried as Septa Mordane marched them down the steps. They were going to take it all away; the tournaments and the court and her prince, everything, they were going to send her back to the bleak grey walls of Winterfell and lock her up forever. Her life was over before it had begun. "Stop that weeping, child," Septa Mordane said sternly. "I am certain your lord father knows what is best for you." - Sansa III, AGOT

That one last passage drives me wild when it comes to Jeyne Poole and you'll see why later.

So basically, Septa Mordane antagonises Arya for her failings as her student. The class (Beth, Sansa & Jeyne) emulates the teacher's disapproval and distaste, Sansa feels embarrassed by association and Jeyne Poole takes advantage of the situation and targets Arya.

And now I can finally get to the true object of my obsession here, beloved middle school mean girl:

Ⅲ. Jeyne Poole and her many mixed emotions

As said, I feel so weird about my love for this girl. People call Theon a "poor little meow meow" but when I first read these books I didn't see him as an anti-hero/minor-villain during ACOK, but more of my avenging hero. I had tears of rage when he was threatening to hang Beth but I was also weirdly cheering for him. Jeyne on the other hand, she is my poor little meow meow! She is my problematic fave! And she makes me cry like crazy and I hope she has the happiest ending in these goddamn books.

I probably feel more attached to her than I feel to Arya and Sansa. I don't understand this. Anyway, I have two possible assumptions for why Jeyne is always antagonising Arya. And yes, she IS ANTAGONISING Arya, even when Arya is no longer there.

"What are you talking about?" Arya asked suddenly. Jeyne gave her a startled look, then giggled. Sansa looked abashed. Beth blushed. No one answered. - Arya I, AGOT

Sansa was too well bred to smile at her sister's disgrace, but Jeyne was smirking on her behalf. - Arya I, AGOT

Jeyne used to call her Arya Horseface, and neigh whenever she came near. - Arya I, AGOT

Jeyne Poole had told Arya that he'd cut him up in so many pieces that they'd given him back to the butcher in a bag, and at first the poor man had thought it was a pig they'd slaughtered.  - Arya II, AGOT

It was all her fault, everything bad that had happened. Sansa said so, and Jeyne too. - Arya II, AGOT

"I saw your sister this afternoon," Jeyne blurted out, as if she'd been reading Sansa's thoughts. "She was walking through the stables on her hands. Why would she do a thing like that?" - Sansa III, AGOT

"I will be a better wife than the real Arya could have been, he'll see." - The Prince of Winterfell, ADWD

"Arya Underfoot. Your sister used to call you Arya Horseface." "It was me made up that name. Her face was long and horsey. Mine isn't. I was pretty." - The Prince of Winterfell, ADWD

You know, this entire thing started because I wanted to make a stupid joke but then I got more emotional and invested into this as I wrote, and now we are here and I don't even remember the actual joke I wanted to make so I have to improvise with the thing above.

I don't believe this is true either. There are absolutely no canon indications for Jeyne to have had been dealing with comphet and bullying Arya because of a crush (there is a rather fun fanfic though!) (and there is another but with angstier and subtler vibes and it's Theyne + Jeynsa). Although, in my opinion, there are a few other things; like class envy and projection!

Ⅲ. Ⅰ. JEYNE POOLE'S CLASS ENVY

I think hers is the most obvious case of envy, but unlike the envy between the Stark sisters it doesn't come from a place of emotional insecurity, but of socio-economical discomfort.

That is why I included "Beric Dondarrion" [insert highborn lord/knight] in that mind map.

Jeyne isn't envious of Arya's relationship with Ned Stark and much less of her skills. Jeyne is envious, and perhaps even particularly resentful, of the fact that Arya is offered AND rejects what Jeyne wishes but will always stay out of her reach.

I have joked about Jeyne's crush on Beric (and her possible implied crushes on Robb & Theon) in the past but I don't think I ever mentioned the class envy when doing so.

When [Jeyne] saw young Lord Beric Dondarrion, with his hair like red gold and his black shield slashed by lightning, she pronounced herself willing to marry him on the instant. - Sansa II, AGOT

She had seen Jeyne Poole giving [Robb] moist-eyed glances, and some of the serving girls, even ones as old as eighteen… - Catelyn XI, AGOT

"Help me." [Jeyne] clutched at [Theon]. "Please. I used to watch you in the yard, playing with your swords. You were so handsome." - The Prince of Winterfell, ADWD

All the men she seems to at some point in her life experience some form of attraction for, even if it is that of a child, it's a puppy crush, just infatuation, are people she would never have a chance with. Two (theoretically) future lord paramounts and a marcher lord. All of them unachievable to a steward's daughter. And with that in consideration, let's look at this:

Arya cocked her head to one side. "Can I be a king's councillor and build castles and become the High Septon?" "You," Ned said, kissing her lightly on the brow, "will marry a king and rule his castle, and your sons will be knights and princes and lords and, yes, perhaps even a High Septon." Arya screwed up her face. "No," she said, "that's Sansa." She folded up her right leg and resumed her balancing. Ned sighed and left her there. - Eddard V, AGOT

And I wonder how frustrating that must feel to Jeyne. To see someone who she deems as inferior in skills and manners because of the conditioning they've gone through under Septa Mordane's tutelage, someone who she considers beneath her, be offered and forced things she desperately wants and will never get.

Hell, Jeyne even manifests some juridical administrative knowledge and argues with Sansa about it, something she won't get to do as an adult woman, while Sansa and Arya will rule (their husband's) castles.

"Father's leg, silly. It hurts him ever so much, it makes him cross. Otherwise I'm certain he would have sent Ser Loras." [...] "Ser Ilyn's the King's Justice, not Ser Loras," Jeyne said. "Lord Eddard should have sent him." - Sansa III, AGOT

Not that any of them would be good at ruling anything, they are all middle schoolers at this point, but I think she could have felt vexed at constantly seeing Arya reject all that she wishes she could have for herself.

Please don't misunderstand me, that is still not a valid reason to bully Arya.

There are no valid reasons to bully a child.

But there are reasons behind Jeyne's mentality and actions, and I think some of those reasons come from a sense of resentment over how "easy" things are for Arya because of her status as Lord Stark's daughter.

As Arya Stark, Jeyne's dreams come true, she marries the future paramount Lord of Winterfell and twisted wish fulfilment is one hell of a drug and not one strong enough to numb the pain! And to add insult to injury, the real Arya gets to spend a significant amount of time accompanying Beric Dondarrion and his band of merry men. I fucking hate this!

And while I think that this is the main aspect of Jeyne bullying Arya, there is something more which I haven't seen written elsewhere and I am willing to admit it could be a sketchy interpretation, but I would like to talk about it anyway because it's MY inane post and I get to choose the straws I grasp at!

Ⅲ. Ⅱ. JEYNE POOLE'S LOOKS

We don't have a lot of physical descriptions for Jeyne. Her eyes are the most remarkable feature about her, being described as big, brown and expressive by Theon and Jaime. Sansa and Holly consider her pretty. Theon calls her beautiful, but only when prompted by Ramsay and it's not very believable. In his thoughts he previously claims she is no longer pretty because of the slashes on her back. I don't know how seriously he means this, but I find it remarkable. Asides from that she is described as a skinny, pale, brown haired girl. She describes herself as formerly pretty but not beautiful and when doing so compares herself to Sansa and sees herself as the lesser of the two. And yet, the entire ruse she is later involved in with this pseudo-karmic punishment, is based on her looking similar enough to Arya or the Stark look to pass as one. I always thought it was so extremely funny how defensive she gets when she claims her face isn't horsey, at the mere mention of the "horseface" nickname, even without Theon telling her she looks horsey.

I don't know. It is probably that I'm looking into this with more depth than I should simply because of...obvious reasonsfsgfgsfsghgdnfjdhdf, but who sometimes makes remarks about the Stark look being one of bastards and plain-looking-people?

[Arya] even looked like Jon, with the long face and brown hair of the Starks, and nothing of their lady mother in her face or her coloring. And Jon's mother had been common, or so people whispered.- Sansa I, AGOT

My lord father found some skinny northern girl more or less the same age with more or less the same coloring. - Jaime IX, ASOS

"You [Arya] ought to marry Hodor, you're just like him, stupid and hairy and ugly!" - Sansa III, AGOT

Imagining little Sansa Stark going to vent to little Jeyne Poole after having an argument with her sister and making a perhaps not even genuinely meant comment about little Arya Stark's looks and Jeyne just sitting there mentally competing against Stannis Baratheon in who can grind their teeth the hardest.

While there are no instances of Sansa calling Arya "Horseface" she sometimes remarks to herself and to her sister that she thinks Arya is ugly and looks like a commoner.

And who has class insecurities and also seems to look similar to Arya?

"Jeyne, Jeyne, it rhymes with plain..." I can already imagine her whispering that to herself if she ever hears Theon's rhymes.

"I was never beautiful like Sansa, but they all said I was pretty. Does Lord Ramsay think I am pretty?" - The Prince of Winterfell, ADWD

The only thing Jeyne seems to really have going for her compared to Arya, the thing that could miraculously elevate her, are her looks and even those pale compared to Sansa. As said, she is described as pretty by some, but not beautiful.

In my opinion, the text doesn't really describe Arya as ugly. It is somewhat left up to interpretation since, while Sansa, Cat, Theon and Arya herself give us the impression she might be, there are also textual comparisons to Lyanna and even people who didn't know her think of Arya as beautiful (Lady Smallwood), but since these girls grew up the way they grew up...

I can imagine Jeyne feeling like her "prettiness" is the one thing she thinks can be used to make her more valuable in Westerosi society, and in order to keep that idea of herself being prettier than Arya, she has to make sure Arya doesn't feel good about her looks, so she calls her horseface.

And, if going by this entire text that I've been writing because I am stupid, that is also completely self-destructive and tragicomical !!!

Basically I think it is possible that Jeyne is projecting her own insecurities regarding her looks and her overall sense of inferiority compared to Sansa unto Arya.

And Jeyne has reasons to feel inferior to Sansa beyond simply the class hierarchy and the possible feeling of unattractiveness, because - and now I will get blocked by another load of people if this is read- Sansa is not very good at being a friend to her!

Ⅳ. The Sansa-Jeyne Dynamic

This is one of those things that completely baffles me, same as the Theon-Robb dynamic, where I have no idea how it is possible that my perception in the past ten years has been so drastically different from the majority of the fandom. And I swear to god, I've tried to change my perspective, I read metas, I tried fanfics, and I still don't get it.

This years Sansa month dedicated an entire day to Jeyne Poole.

Someone who is not very well acquainted with the books would probably assume Jeyne Poole is a very important girl in Sansa's narrative based on that information. They'd probably be surprised to find out that, since the two girls were separated, Jeyne Poole is remembered a total number of four times by Sansa Stark.

Sansa thinks of Jeyne Poole a total of four (4) times since AGOT.

In the span of four books in which both Stark sisters go through terribly drastic changes in their lives, Arya thinks of the girl who bullied her three times.

Sansa who loves and misses Jeyne thinks of her four times.

And you are telling me that she is so important to Sansa that she deserves an entire day dedicated to her? And everything that is created in that day is about how Sansa loves her so much and cares for her tremendously and will protect her?

PERSON D: It's because Sansa is traumatised. It pains her too much to think of her. Not thinking of her is a coping mechanism.

"She missed Septa Mordane, and even more Jeyne Poole, her truest friend. The septa had lost her head with the rest, for the crime of serving House Stark. Sansa did not know what had happened to Jeyne, who had disappeared from her rooms afterward, never to be mentioned again. She tried not to think of them too often, yet sometimes the memories came unbidden, and then it was hard to hold back the tears." - Sansa II, ACOK

Person D: See?

Probably! I don't oppose that interpretation, it's very possible. People often suppress painful memories. But I can still disapprove of that coping mechanism. Would you like it if you suddenly disappeared form the face of earth in extremely mysterious circumstances and your friend wouldn't even ask about what happened to you? I don't think I would feel loved and treasured if I were to know that.

I don't like the way their dynamic is perceived by a majority of the fandom based on those four thoughts and the few other times we seen them interact in AGOT.

Person E: Oh OP is just posting anti-Jeynsa stuff because they ship Jeyne, A CHILD, with Theon, AN ADULT MAN AND RAPIST!

I wouldn't consider this anti-Jeynsa since

This is what makes their dynamic intriguing for me. This is the type of Jeynsa I'm into!!!

I don't think their relationship in inherently wrong or that it would be morally condemnable.

Also I don't even really ship Theon & Jeyne as an endgame romantic/sexual ship, not that it wowuld be morally wrong for anyone to do so. I "ship" it as a very turbulent dynamic between two people who have been forced to bond by the horrible circumstances they have been in and who have had the boundaries that define certain relationship dynamics blurred in some very traumatic ways. I "ship it" in the sense that I would like to see both of them find some tranquility and peace in their lives and try to explore which of those blurred boundaries they wish to reestablish, keep blurred or fully erase. Hell, I wrote a 100k fanfic focusing on their relationship and didn't even let them be endgame. I didn't even let them be actually in love.

It's just that "cute, loving, soft, homoromantic childhood best friends" isn't the dynamic I'm usually interested in.

And I don't think the Jeynsa dynamic is that.

I think there are class issues and inferiorities to be explored. I think Sansa is true in her affections for Jeyne, she loves her and sees her as a friend, but she is also diminishing and tends to look down on her, and regardless if it is a coping mechanism or not, she shows no interest in finding out what happened to who she considers her "truest friend".

And I don't believe Sansa is a bad person for this, I believe she is a young girl. Relationships between women are complicated enough already. Relationships between pre-teen and teen girls have entire studies dedicated to them.

Person F: How much would Sansa even consider her as a bff? In their bullying of Arya, Jeyne comes across as the acolyte to Queen Bea Sansa. And that's just modern projection. Jeyne is from a minor house. She's just a steward's daughter. She's just slightly above a servant in feudalist hierarchy. She's assigned to be her "friend" coz she's conveniently the same age, and that's just what you did then. Like "milk-siblings", servants who shared a wetnurse with a lord. (1/2)(2/2) Lower houses are fancy domesticity to the greater houses. The great nobility is fancy domesticity to royalty. That's just how feudalism worked. Everyone was thought of as a servant, the entirety of society was built on a network of servitude and dependance. Even the king is a servant: to God. Or "Gods" in the case of ASOIAF. Hence all the conclicts between church and royalty.

I saw this comment a while ago on a Tumblr post (I'm not putting a source link because I don't believe that would be fair to them and also it's older than a year) and I don't like it.

I think it is unfairly villainising Sansa and also removing Jeyne's agency in that situation by putting her as an "acolyte" (assistant, follower), when the composition of our first scene involving them, in my opinion, shows her as an adviser. I also don't like how it is pretending that Jeyne is being forced to be Sansa's friend and if going by that logic, then why isn't Beth being forced to be Arya's friend?

I disagree with it. I think it simplifies a more complex situation.

But I wish we were allowed to explore the less wholesome aspects in the Jeyne-Sansa dynamic without being instantaneously labeled as a Sansa-anti and it is what I'll attempt.

Something I always found very endearing and relatable about Sansa was how much she craved for friends - especially female friends - since she is left alone in King's Landing.

It had been so long since she had enjoyed the company of other women, she had almost forgotten how pleasant it could be. - Sansa II, ASOS

How am I supposed not to feel my heart ache in bittersweetness? My favourite Sansa "friendship" is actually the one she builds with Garlan Tyrell, but this is a moment of bliss.

It's interesting how Sansa often finds amusement in female friends who act very differently from how she does, but as her character evolves in the books her feelings for those types of companions also seem to change.

We have Jeyne, Margaery and Myranda, as her "friends", characters with whom she experiences very different dynamics and I think it is at least partially involved with their classes too.

Jeyne is the one she treats the most poorly, in my opinion. Ignoring how little she thinks of her after Jeyne is taken away by Littlefinger, let's see some of their previous interactions and let's also keep in mind that Sansa is (at most) a 12-year-old girl not having a very good time and she deserves compassion:

[...] Jeyne and Sansa cried out in unison as riders crashed together, lances exploding into splinters while the commons screamed for their favorites. Jeyne covered her eyes whenever a man fell, like a frightened little girl, but Sansa was made of sterner stuff. A great lady knew how to behave at tournaments. Even Septa Mordane noted her composure and nodded in approval. - Sansa II, AGOT

Sansa feels superior to Jeyne for staying calm at the face of violence. This will become a pattern.

Jeyne Poole wept so hysterically that Septa Mordane finally took her off to regain her composure, but Sansa sat with her hands folded in her lap, watching with a strange fascination. [...] By then Septa Mordane had returned, alone. Jeyne had been feeling ill, she explained; she had helped her back to the castle. Sansa had almost forgotten about Jeyne. - Sansa II, AGOT

Jeyne is hysterical after seeing a man die at the tourney, Sansa isn't very concerned for her friend's mental state.

"His leg?" Jeyne said uncertainly. She was a pretty, dark-haired girl of Sansa's own age. "Did Ser Loras hurt his leg?" "Not his leg," Sansa said, nibbling delicately at a chicken leg. "Father's leg, silly. It hurts him ever so much, it makes him cross. Otherwise I'm certain he would have sent Ser Loras." - Sansa III, AGOT

"Silly". It could be solely meant with endearment, but throughout that scene Sansa is in a bad mood and I wonder how Jeyne might have perceived it given she continues arguing with her about juridical administration and contradicts Sansa.

Of course, Jeyne had been in love with Lord Beric ever since she had first glimpsed him in the lists. Sansa thought she was being silly; Jeyne was only a steward's daughter, after all, and no matter how much she mooned after him, Lord Beric would never look at someone so far beneath him, even if she hadn't been half his age. - Sansa III, AGOT

Again, "silly", and this time with a slightly classist connotation. And the saddest thing is that Sansa is right, but she often daydreams of unrealistic or impossible romantic scenarios herself and had a crush on Waymar Royce, a man who was older than her, of lower nobility and about to make a vow of celibacy. Why is Jeyne the silly one for daydreaming?

"They're killing everyone," the steward's daughter had shrieked at her. She went on and on. The Hound had broken down her door with a warhammer, she said. There were bodies on the stair of the Tower of the Hand, and the steps were slick with blood. Sansa dried her own tears as she struggled to comfort her friend. They went to sleep in the same bed, cradled in each other's arms like sisters. The second day was even worse. [...] The only sounds were Jeyne Poole's endless whimpers and sobs. - Sansa IV, AGOT

Jeyne Poole had been confined with her, but Jeyne was useless. Her face was puffy from all her crying, and she could not seem to stop sobbing about her father. "I'm certain your father is well," Sansa told her when she had finally gotten the dress buttoned right. "I'll ask the queen to let you see him." She thought that kindness might lift Jeyne's spirits, but the other girl just looked at her with red, swollen eyes and began to cry all the harder. She was such a child. - Sansa IV, AGOT

Remember what I said about Septa Mordane's "Stop weeping, child."? Sansa is vexed by her crying although Sansa cries herself, thinks of her as useless, she thinks demeaningly of Jeyne because she is crying after realising her father has been killed..

"Jeyne's scared," Sansa said. "She won't stop crying. I promised her I'd ask if she could see her father." - Sansa IV, AGOT

This feels like a twisted version of the first passage in this list. Sansa is scared herself, we know this because she was trembling as she dressed, but she speaks only of Jeyne's fear.

Jeyne Poole and all her things were gone when Ser Mandon Moore returned Sansa to the high tower of Maegor's Holdfast. No more weeping, she thought gratefully. - Sansa IV, AGOT

Sansa, love, I know you are very stressed out but come on open your eyes!

Somehow this reminds me a bit of a less extreme version of Theon's inconsistencies in thoughts and actions involving Jeyne in ADWD. He is very crude when thinking of her, but if you go through his actual treatment of her, he is surprisingly tender. The only exception I can think of for them is in TWOW.

With Sansa, I think it is similar, but whereas Theon is painfully aware of how perilous their lives as Ramsay's playthings are, Sansa constantly refuses to see the gravity of their situation and thus is dismissive of Jeyne in a moment where it becomes terribly cruel. I don't think she doesn't love Jeyne, of course, she does,

The kitchen yielded no lemon cakes, but they did find half of a cold strawberry pie, and that was almost as good. They ate it on the tower steps, giggling and gossiping and sharing secrets, - Sansa III, AGOT

"Where are you sending her? She hasn't done anything wrong, she's a good girl." - Sansa IV, AGOT

No more weeping, she thought gratefully. Yet somehow it seemed colder with Jeyne gone, even after she'd built a fire. - Sansa IV, AGOT

She missed Septa Mordane, and even more Jeyne Poole, her truest friend. [...] Sansa did not know what had happened to Jeyne, who had disappeared from her rooms afterward, never to be mentioned again. - Sansa II, ACOK

She sang for her mother and her father, for her grandfather Lord Hoster and her uncle Edmure Tully, for her friend Jeyne Poole, - Sansa V, ACOK

She had not had a friend to gossip with since poor Jeyne Poole. - Alayne II, AFFC

Remembering bright cold days at Winterfell, when she would race through Winterfell with her friend Jeyne Poole, with Arya running after them trying to keep up. - Alayne I, TWOW

I think Sansa just sometimes takes her for granted.

I think it's sad because it's realistic and it hurts even more when you compare her treatment of Jeyne to her treatment of Margaery and Myranda after going through a period of hostile isolation and a heartbreaking customary middle school betrayal, two things that I believe influence her feelings for both girls.

With Margaery and her posse, she is idealistic. She considers Margaery to be kind, brave and wise, and finds bliss (and a little bit of envy and gayness, ooooh) in the company of her ladies.

Margaery's kindness had been unfailing, and her presence changed everything. Her ladies welcomed Sansa as well. It had been so long since she had enjoyed the company of other women, she had almost forgotten how pleasant it could be. Lady Leonette gave her lessons on the high harp, and Lady Janna shared all the choice gossip. Merry Crane always had an amusing story, and little Lady Bulwer reminded her of Arya, though not so fierce. Closest to Sansa's own age were the cousins Elinor, Alla, and Megga, Tyrells from junior branches of the House. "Roses from lower on the bush," quipped Elinor, who was witty and willowy. Megga was round and loud, Alla shy and pretty, but Elinor ruled the three by right of womanhood; she was a maiden flowered, whereas Megga and Alla were mere girls. The cousins took Sansa into their company as if they had known her all their lives. They spent long afternoons doing needlework and talking over lemon cakes and honeyed wine, played at tiles of an evening, sang together in the castle sept ... and often one or two of them would be chosen to share Margaery's bed, where they would whisper half the night away. Alla had a lovely voice, and when coaxed would play the woodharp and sing songs of chivalry and lost loves. Megga couldn't sing, but she was mad to be kissed. She and Alla played a kissing game sometimes, she confessed, but it wasn't the same as kissing a man, much less a king. - Sansa II, ASOS

There is a direct comparison to Arya, mentions of many of Sansa's hobbies, some sapphicness, and if I squint my eyes the needlework and lemon cakes remind me of Jeyne & Beth. And then...Sansa is made to marry Tyrion and that match frustrates the Tyrell's ambitions.

And here Sansa found the Tyrells. Margaery gave her such a sad look, and when the Queen of Thorns tottered in between Left and Right, she never looked at her at all. Elinor, Alla, and Megga seemed determined not to know her. My friends, Sansa thought bitterly. - Sansa III, ASOS

After that emotional betrayal, Sansa spends more time of isolation and this time it's even more depressing in my opinion. The few people who show her kindness are also somewhat compliant in her misery and then she gets abducted by Petyr Baelish and has to take the role of his bastard daughter, Alayne Stone. Under this guise she meets Myranda Royce and Mya Stone.

While I would say she befriends both girls, her connection with Randa resembles that which she had with Jeyne and Margaery more than her connection with Mya. Both of them share some common interests and Myranda, isn't disdainful at all of her supposed bastardy.

Person G: That's because she is cunning and suspects Alayne is actually highborn.

I'm not so convinced by that argument! She is described of being as closes as sisters with Mya Stone, another bastard.

Sansa's distrust for Myranda is, in my opinion, only partially fuelled by Littlefinger's words.

"Soon or late you must meet Myranda Royce," Petyr had warned her. "When you do, be careful. She likes to play the merry fool, but underneath she's shrewder than her father. Guard your tongue around her." - Alayne II, AFFC

I think her distrust comes mostly from her last close homosocial relationship having been a farce, from feeling manipulated, used and deceived. And that mistrust remains but is worn down by Randa's warm personality.

I think there is is something very sweet about comparing the following passages:

Sansa knelt at the feet of her future queen. "You do me great honor, Your Grace." "Won't you call me Margaery? Please, rise. Loras, help the Lady Sansa to her feet. Might I call you Sansa?" - Sansa I, ASOS

"Kind?" The older girl gave a laugh. "How boring that would be. I aspire to be wicked. You must tell me all your secrets on the ride down. May I call you Alayne?" "If you wish, my lady." But you'll get no secrets from me. "I am 'my lady' at the Gates, but up here on the mountain you may call me Randa. How many years have you, Alayne?" [...] "As you say, my lady." "Randa. Come now, you can say it. Ran. Da." "Randa." - Alayne II, AFFC

It's curious how in both cases there is this chance of friendship being offered to Sansa by a girl who has a higher rank than her but one is done much more courteously than the other. Sansa never calls Myranda "Randa" again, but as she warms up to her she begins referring to her as such in the narration. I think that is very heartwarming.

Maybe it is stupid to complain about the idealisation of a flawed friendship in these books, but I think the reason it annoys me so much is because it removes this type of development in Sansa's socialising. Her interactions with Myranda are delightful to read and I think it's the healthiest friendship she has formed yet.

And Myranda also embodies aspects of Margaery and Jeyne, so it's an even funnier conclusion. She is a little bit less ladylike than Sansa, but is still comfortable with her gender and the assigned roles, she is a little foul mouthed, she likes to gossip and to take friends to her bed (in an apparent not-sexual way).

"Lothor Brune?" Myranda raised an eyebrow. "Does she know?" She did not wait for an answer. "He has no hope, poor man. My father's tried to make a match for Mya, but she'll have none of them. She is half mule, that one." Despite herself, Alayne found herself warming to the older girl. She had not had a friend to gossip with since poor Jeyne Poole. "Do you think Ser Lothor likes her as she is, in mail and leather?" she asked the older girl, who seemed so worldly-wise. "Or does he dream of her draped in silks and velvets?" "He's a man. He dreams of her naked." She is trying to make me blush again. Lady Myranda must have heard her thoughts. "You do turn such a pretty shade of pink. When I blush I look quite like an apple. I have not blushed for years, though." She leaned closer. "Does your father plan to wed again?" - Alayne II, AFFC

Even Lady Myranda began to yawn and complain of being weary. "We have apartments prepared for all of you," she told Alayne, "but if you like you may share my bed tonight. It's large enough for four." "I should be honored, my lady." "Randa. Count yourself fortunate that I'm so tired. All I want to do is curl up and go to sleep. Usually when ladies share my bed they have to pay a pillow tax and tell me all about the wicked things they've done." "What if they haven't done any wicked things?" "Why, then they must confess all the wicked things they want to do. Not you, of course. I can see how virtuous you are just by looking at those rosy cheeks and big blue eyes of yours." She yawned again. "I hope your feet are warm. I do hate bedmaids with cold feet." - Alayne II, AFFC

"I do hope you will forgive me for depriving you of Lady Myranda's company," Alayne told the knights. She did not wait for a reply, but took the older girl arm-in-arm and drew her away from the bench. Only when they were out of earshot did she whisper, "Do you really know where my father is?" "Of course not. Walk faster, my new suitors may be following." Myranda made a face. "Ossifer Lipps is the dullest knight in the Vale, but Uther Shett aspires to his laurels. I am praying they fight a duel for my hand, and kill each other." Alayne giggled. "Surely Lord Nestor would not seriously entertain a suit from such men." - Alayne I, TWOW

"Too late," Myranda said. "They're here. We shall need to do the honors by ourselves." She grinned. "Last one to the gate must marry Uther Shett." They made a race of it, dashing headlong across the yard and past the stables, skirts flapping, whilst knights and serving men alike looked on, and pigs and chickens scattered before them. It was most unladylike, but Alayne sound found herself laughing. For just a little while, as she ran, she forget who she was, and where, and found herself remembering bright cold days at Winterfell, when she would race through Winterfell with her friend Jeyne Poole, with Arya running after them trying to keep up. By the time they arrived at the gatehouse, both of them were red-faced and panting. Myranda had lost her cloak somewhere along the way. They were just in time. - Alayne I, TWOW 

I don't even ship them (Mya x Myranda and Sansa x Brienne ftw), and this doesn't have anything to do with the theme of whatever this text turned into, but I love their dynamic so much I would ship it if it became canon. It's adorable and funny and out of her dynamics with other girls, this one is my favourite.

We know that the Sansa-Margaery friendship turned out disappointingly, and some have the suspicion that Myranda could act as a new tormentor for Sansa, and I have no way to disprove that, but seeing her development in regards to female friendships makes me at least doubt it.

She took Jeyne for granted and was disdainful, spent a time of hostile isolation, met Margaery and her ladies, went through the horrors of idealisation and crashed against the truth, spent even more time alone and kept the wounds from her sorrow, and is now apparently finding a healthy friendship with Myranda Royce and I love that for her.

It makes me wonder how her feelings for Jeyne could evolve if they get to meet again, and whether she will be more conscious of how their friendship was flawed. Of how she should have probably tried to be more attentive to the dynamic between Jeyne & Arya, of how she perhaps shouldn't have been passive about Jeyne's bullying nor participated in it.

As I write I am checking everything in my journals and I couldn't find a single occasion in which we see Sansa calling Arya "Horseface", but I did however find her thinking of Arya's looks as "horsey" with a negative connotation:

Her long horsey face got the stubborn look that meant she was going to do something willful. [...] One day she came back grinning her horsey grin, her hair all tangled and her clothes covered in mud, clutching a raggedy bunch of purple and green flowers for Father.  - Sansa II, AGOT

She also giggles at and uses Jeyne's nicknames for Hobber and Horas Redwyne:

The Redwyne twins, Ser Horas and Ser Hobber, homely youths with orange hair and square, freckled faces. Sansa and Jeyne Poole used to call them Ser Horror and Ser Slobber, and giggle whenever they caught sight of them. - Arya V, AGOT

She recognized black-skinned Jalabhar Xho, gloomy Ser Aron Santagar, the Redwyne twins Horror and Slobber - Sansa V, ACOK

Paxter Redwyne, Lord of the Arbor, marched down the length of the hall flanked by his twin sons Horror and Slobber, - Sansa VIII, ACOK

And seeing her snicker at those names is already enough for me to pin her as a passive victimiser in their case. Even if she felt bad about it, something I could find no indication of. Sansa doesn't think of how painful it must be for them to be referred to that way, how dehumanising it is.

So, with that information, I don't think she's above having called Arya "Horseface".

Ⅴ. Adulthood

Where are the adults? Why is it that during the entire time we spend with these three girls under the care of Septa Mordane, Ned and Catelyn Stark and Vayon Poole we never see them taking action and putting a stop to this?

DontbotherwiththepronunciationRightNowRealisingTheySpentWayTooMuchFuckingTimeDevelopingAPunchlineTheyLost: Probably because this book isn't about medieval setting middle school bullying, you idiot! And there is a lot of really urgent stuff going on with the adults. Get over yourself.

Yeah...

But still! Prior to all that, prior to the story we've been reading, these characters existed in their own universe and in that universe, all these girls have been judged by adult society and have been set in a toxic environment that unintentionally allows and encourages the bullying.

I already explained that when talking about Septa Mordane.

My question now isn't whether we should fault the adults or not, but more about how this would have developed as Arya, Jeyne and Sansa all became adults.

Of corse, this is all speculation on a rather unimportant topic that has been discussed hundreds of times before and my opinion is probably somewhat tainted by lingering emotions, so yeah this might have been worthless but I couldn't sleep and it was a little fun.

Perhaps because of my own issues with bullying, which were handed very poorly by the adults who should have solved it, I like daydreaming about these three girls, all of who I like and wish good things upon, and wondering whether they would have been able to solve their problems as they matured into adulthood if their lives had remained peaceful. I sadly don't think they would have.

Throughout the entire text I wrote, I felt like walking on egg shells because, as you can probably see if you just look at my blog, I barely talk about Arya or Sansa and I know there is a lot of tension between fans of those characters and I didn't want to say anything that could feel offensive and somehow it was still surprisingly easy to write this. I think maybe it is because I don't relate to any of the characters, like I do with Theon or Barbrey, so I can distance myself from it a little more. On the other hand, this is a topic that still haunts me.

I really don't think they would have solved any of this if they had remained in Winterfell with things going the way they usually went.

But now, after being completely torn and victimised by war in extremely different ways that still somehow manage to bring similar themes to their stories (the always present threat of sexual abuse, the weaponising of a person, depersonalisation, dead parents, a broken home, losing their privileges as highborn, being saved by the Hound), once they reunite and are the only bonds that remains of a happier time, I think they could.

Maybe their newly found maturity and the despair born out of tragedy could make it easier to overcome all their past offences and forge a bond.

It's strange. I always go for the bitter, resentful and scorned women - I wonder why - (Barb, Cersei) or those who have aspects I can relate to cultural duality, immigration or rootlessness (Theon, Dany) but never for the more-or-less-happily-gender-conforming "damsel in distress", much less for one who reminds me of some of the worst people I've met, and yet out of the three girls involved in this she is the one I am the most attached to.

I think she mostly grew on me after I learnt she was omitted from the show and that her narrative was given to Sansa because that is such a cruel joke from D&D.

Jeyne Poole: Hey! I am the character meant to show how everyone is valuable, worthy and deserving of being saved and protected and how everyone matters and also to further develop Theon's character while functioning as a symbol of his culpability and regret of the three vilest things he has done(among other things of course)! D&D: Ok, we are cutting her because she is not important enough to matter. Give her plot to the barely adult red-headed Stark so Theon can find redemption by saving a Stark and getting a wolf pin and we can shiptease Sansa with a bunch of people and marketise her as an ice queen girlboss.

It's so mean it's a little funny. On a meta level I think she is the biggest loser in this series. I think that is why I like her so much. I liked her before I knew of that and I remember crying at @/croclock's art of her and Theon escaping (1) (2) (3), but I didn't feel as emotionally attached to her until after I found out.

I remember when I watched the show there was a scene that caused a lot of controversy that I can somehow relate to this.

Sandor Clegane: You've changed, Little Bird. None of it would have happened if you'd left King's Landing with me. No Littlefinger, no Ramsay... none of it. Sansa Stark: Without Littlefinger and Ramsay and the rest, I would have stayed a Little Bird all my life.

And of course this dialogue is gross and it doesn't make any sense in the books, and I still wrote it down on my journals because I think, maybe trying to be an optimist, that the message behind it was different than what was actually said???

It comes across as "I'm happy and grateful I was abused and raped" which is nauseating, obviously, but I think it was rather supposed to be more of a "All the choices I've made across my life and all the events that occurred through it have lead me here, to become the person I am today and I am proud of that person." which could still have been controversial, but is something I would have agreed with more, and it's not something I would only apply on these girls.

Maybe we'll get such a moment at some point with a better execution, hopefully, in the books.

[getvalentined]

Yesterday I lamented a bit about people literally believing that sex is worse than violence, and I want to talk about that in more detail today.

Trigger warning for discussions of sexual assault, and somewhat detailed descriptions of body horror and violence.

One of my worst-kept secrets is that I'm into body horror. I try to keep it on the subtler side in my work, but it's probably still a bit extreme. I rarely get complaints about this—but I have been harassed for saying Yuffie could have a crush on anyone else in Avalanche. Not that she could or should have a relationship, or even implying that she does have a crush. Only that she could be attracted to another member of the party, because they are all extremely attractive, and teenage girls have crushes all the time.

I've drawn Vincent with his trachea exposed and written about Genesis' internal organs rotting away in fairly visceral detail, but the thing that makes me "sick" and unworthy of the air I breathe is that I think a teenage girl could find someone older than her attractive. This is the thing that has led people to tell me to kill myself.

Another terribly kept secret is that I was, at one point, a teenage girl myself. This didn't stop me from finding multiple adult celebrities attractive. For people who experience sexual attraction, this is normal. Me being fifteen years old didn't make Angelina Jolie any less attractive when playing Lara Croft.

This opinion is the one that's led folks to say they hope I get raped to death in prison. Not describing a character's skin being removed while the one removing it cackles in glee—that doesn't imply I'm a monster, because it's just violence. It's fiction. But I said teenagers can experience attraction, because I was one who did, and I'm inherently and undeniably evil.

This is what I mean when I say that people think sex is worse than violence. I'm not exaggerating, I'm referring to my actual experience—not just in fandom, but I'm not going to talk about my life in the cult because this is already too long. The point here is that I can portray the most gruesome torture, and everyone knows it's not real, but the instant human intimacy hits the scene it becomes some horrible, unforgivable concept that proves that I'm a monster who deserves to die.

I don't portray much sexual violence in my work, or engage with a lot of work that does, but—and this took me a long time to unpack—it's just another brand of violence in fiction. It can be gratuitous, sure, but so is my body horror. If I don't like it, I don't engage with it.

Before anyone brings up the topic of trauma processing and recovery, I need to add that I have personally experienced physical violence, medical violence, and sexual violence in my real life. I shouldn't have to explain that to keep people from attacking me for my work, and the fact that I've been through those things doesn't mean that my portrayal of these things is "valid" while portrayal by anyone who doesn't have the "correct" related trauma is "glorification." That's not how this works.

Some people experience sexual gratification from pain, or from engaging with portrayals thereof. For them, my work involving torture may inspire feelings of lust, my illustrations of body horror may be sexually arousing. Does this mean that I am sexualizing torture and abuse? Does this mean that I am encouraging skinning people alive? Of course not! No one has ever even implied such a thing!

Other people's reactions to my work, whether it's lust or disgust or anything in between, is not my responsibility. Likewise, my reaction to the work of others is not their responsibility. Sex is just sex, and fictional sex is just fiction—no matter how violent or inappropriate it may be.

You have every right to feel how you feel with regard to a creator's work. You can love it, hate it, it can be enticing or repulsive, you can find it exhilarating or triggering—all those responses are valid because you're a real person who feels things!

We attribute emotions to art, as well we should, but we should never attack the artist (operating in good faith) for creating something that caused an uncomfortable reaction in us. Those feelings are not a creator's responsibility to regulate for us.

Further, if you're a survivor of sexual assault who genuinely believes that murder is the kinder option, I am so sorry that your pain runs that deep. Truly. No matter what you've been through, the world is better for you being alive than it would be if your abuser had killed you. I'm sorry that it hurts so much that you can't see that yet. For a long time, I couldn't either. I understand the reaction, I understand seeing your own pain in every portrayal of sexual violence, I understand thinking it would be better to just be gone forever.

But that's not true, and if seeing it in fiction makes you wish violence and pain on-par with your own on other real people, you need to unpack it. You need to deconstruct that mindset. Hurt people hurt people, and you are hurting people.

But the world would be a darker, harder, sadder place without you in it. I'm glad you survived. I'm glad we both survived.

[timomoe]

estonia for the bingo thing

Oh god, anon, you really opened the flood gates with this one. This is gonna be a massive post, and I'm so sorry to everyone in advance.

Note: these are all things that bother me personally. I am not attempting to make anyone feel like they should also feel mad about these things. I am not out to shame anyone who has hcs that are different than my own. I'm just breaking my thoughts down. Idc how anyone characterizes Estonia.

1. I Dont Trust The Fandom With Estonia, Ever

Estonia's fandom depictions range from elegant, eloquent, intelligent, calm, and collected to creepy basement dwelling discord mod neck beard with no friends and no personality. The latter characterization is - you guessed it - a leftover from Old Fandom and is slowly dying off. It doesn't stop people from continuing to make him into an internet-y, awkward loser, though, and that's really sad to me, ngl. A lot of people see him as a weak, lonely loser, when this is actually extremely removed from canon. Ofc, headcanons are fine, but I see a surprising amount of people who think this characterization is canon, when in reality, it's just fanon. Canonically speaking, Estonia is very good at making friends and is easily able to maintain good relations with most of the nations. He's perceptive and able to read the feelings of people around him. He has lots of hobbies that he's really good at, too. He's smart and good with money and business. According to Himaruya, he SMELLS LIKE MONEY (which I just think is funny).

Nowadays, the fandom is usually nice to him, but unfortunately I do still see ppl completely mischarachterizing him and his relationships, especially when it comes to the Nordics. I think people tend to forget that Estonia is on good terms with every Nordic except for Iceland, and it isn't for no reason. Estonia shares very strong history with Denmark, Sweden, and Finland - a majority of the Nordics - and Norway seems to like him - or at least tolerate him - too. In the series, Estonia sees Sweden as a mentor figure, and he deeply respects him and his opinions. Finland is Estonia's best friend. Denmark and Estonia are on good terms. Their relationship isn't expanded on much, but Denmark never so much as implies that he thinks Estonia is annoying or a try hard. Norway, notorious teaser and pain in the ass (affectionate) also never teases or takes a jab at Estonia on screen or in the manga.

He's friends with people like America - the two work on silly little projects together just for shits and giggles. Oddly, America seems to treat Estonia quite well; from the little we've seen of their friendship, it seems like the two have been friends for a while, at least since 2007, as "The Gentle Fight Between Russia and I" is based off the 2007 Russian cyber attacks on Estonia. That's around 16 years ago, now.

As mentioned previously, Estonia is also frequently viewed as being wimpy and weak, when this is not the case. People usually tend to point to Estonia's time in the Soviet Union or the first time that Sweden and Estonia meet to back that up, but I counter with this - Estonia was actively being colonized at both of those time periods. The strip "The Violent Mr. Sve of Northern Europe Takes a Swing," is set at the beginning of the Swedish Era in Estonia. It details just how Sweden got ahold of Estonia to begin with - by being generally terrifying on accident. Prior to this point in time, though, Estonia was being treated badly by literally everyone around him (Teutonic Knights, Baltic Germans, etc.), so of course he would assume that this new man was here to treat him similarly (especially if you consider Estonians and Swedes had squabbled in the past over various things, and Estonia ALSO burned down Sweden's first capital.)

As far as the Soviet Era is concerned, Russia was extremely abusive to all of the Baltic States, dishing out really nasty punishments to them - going so far as to kill Latvia (albeit on accident) - when they speak out or annoy him. Of course he would be afraid of him.

Now, though? Estonia is daring and confident. He isn't afraid of Russia and routinely mouths off to him, challenges, stands up to, and outsmarts him. Even if he was afraid before, he isn't now. He has, seemingly, come back into himself. Yay character progression!!

2. I Know Him Better Than The Creator, Yaas, Queen, Give Us Nothing, & If I Could Save Him From the Narrative, I Would.

I know I just wrote 6 whole paragraphs about why I like Estonia's canon depiction, but I have to be 100% honest, I'm also not the biggest fan of Himaruya's interpretation of Estonia. There are good things about him, and I enjoy a lot of what he's put out, but at the same time there are things about him in canon that really annoy me.

For one, despite Estonians being very fond of their country, its history, culture, and language, Estonia... Isn't. At all. He is obsessed with being a Nordic, does not really treat Latvia and Lithuania well (which is strange imo, bc due to shared oppression, history, and struggle, the Baltic States are pretty tight knit.) and doesn't seem to care that it hurts them to know he would rather be a Nordic than a Baltic, and he seems to think that becoming a Nordic will solve a lot of his problems. He talks more about how cool Finnish culture is than he does his own, and that's really disappointing to me because when it comes to history, culture, and language, for Estonia there's so much to talk about.

Like let's think about the Eesti Can't Into Nordic joke that's running in the series. I'd like to remind y'all (/lh) that the Estonian government proposed the idea of Estonia being Nordic only once. One time. And the reason it failed was two-way. Not only did the Nordic nations not care, but Estonians were generally against it.

As far as I know, it's got to do with previously stated attachment to the other Baltics, and also because of their flag. For those who don't know, the Estonian flag was a banned symbol in the USSR, and anyone caught with it could face some pretty hefty punishments. The only reason we still have the original Estonian flag is bc two college dudes were like "mine vittu, venelased!" *Spits on the ground and shoves the Estonian flag behind a chimney where it will stay safe.*

Also. The joke about Estonia wanting to join the Nordics seems silly, as there's been this neat little thing called the Nordic Baltic 8 that's been around since the 90s. There's already an entire organization made up of all the Nordics and Baltics with the point of it being mutual aid and cooperation. Meaning all of the things Estonia thought he'd get by becoming a Nordic have already come to fruition.

On top of that, it had been a symbol of Estonian endurance, freedom, and perseverance for decades by that point. People were so attached to it and adverse to making the tricolor into a Nordic cross, so the idea died.

Edit: was also reminded by an Estonian friend that some of the suggested designs for the first Estonian flag were in fact in a Nordic Cross pattern, but they all lost out to the tricolor, meaning that whole idea wasn't just rejected once, but twice.

There's also something about his name that annoys me a little. While I believe it was genuinely an accident, Eduard's name is surreal. Let me explain what I mean. Himaruya tends to legacy name his characters. England is named for king Arthur, Sweden's last name is taken from a Swedish writer, Finland is named after Väinämöinen, Latvia is named after a Latvian singer.

The only person in Estonian history of any note with the last name Von Bock was a Baltic German man who, among other things, hated ethnic Estonians and believed them to be subhuman. Bit of an oopsie to give him a name like that. Not even Eduard is an Estonian name, it is just the Estonianized spelling of a German name too. Eduard isn't so bad though, since it is actually a common Estonian name.

3. I Want To Protect Them, Babygirl MF, They're Like a Brother to Me, & They're So Cute When They're Bleeding.

Ok so the basics of this one are: I love Estonia, he's a weirdo, he's my favorite, I only ever want good things for him, and yet every single time I write anything involving him, it always winds up being angsty as shit and sad. I am not allowed to let this man be happy, IG.

[brenobikenobi]

Wrecked

Summary: It wasn’t supposed to happen — you got injured because of your own mouth running off. Now you’re forced to face the music when Joel gets a glimpse of you. Pairing: Joel Miller/Reader (she/her pronouns used) Fandom: The Last of Us (television series focused) Warning(s): Minute depictions of violence (flashback form), mentions of depictions of violence (it’s The Last of Us, are we surprised), slightly OOC Joel Miller (first time writing TLOU, y’all), mention of alcohol, random asshole residents in the QZ, overprotective Joel Miller, hints of a secret relationship, pre-Jackson, pre-Ellie (quarantine zone), depictions of apocalyptic surroundings (quarantine zone, Cordyceps Infection, ration tickets, FEDRA, etc.), depiction of injuries, blood and gore, gendered terminology (usage of she/her pronouns). Please read this piece with your own caution. Word Count: 3,045 A/N: Hello and welcome to my first The Last of Us imagine! It's been a few hours since watching the show and as a player of the game and someone who watched gameplays of it for years, this adaptation is absolutely amazing so far. I am so excited to see more and hopefully write again for the show/game as time goes on.

The hot water on your bloodied and bruised hands was almost too much.

While often it could be considered a brief sight of comfort, it now held a stark moment of sheer pain. Nonetheless, you couldn’t really fight the temperature as the evidence on your hands was too much of a reminder to what had happened — and you would be glad to end this torment of your skin, once the contents of crimson red were washed away down the drain and away into who knows where.

Steam rises in softening fumes as the heated water dances across flesh, softening what has dried there so you could begin wiping it away. What was harder to remove, you would take a ratty old washcloth and clear it off the best you could… but the stain still remained. Your eyes would focus on that damned spot, trying to scrub as hard as you could but nothing could truly fix what was evident as soon as you looked at the broken, dirty mirror above the sink.

All signs pointed directly to the wear and tear on your face. You had gotten jumped.

It wasn��t meant to happen, truly that’s what you could recall (or so tried). A normal day or what could be considered in the quarantine zone, where FEDRA reigned over all since the end of the world twenty years prior at the hands of the Cordyceps outbreak. What felt like a safe haven was mainly the farthest thing from it, especially with some residents who thought they were above others. You, along with your company, kept to yourself as you would get up, work, take what you could as payment through ration tickets, and tuck yourself away into your confined space to repeat the same cycle again and again until you eventually bit the dust.

That was until you opened your mouth and fought back. That’s what did you in.

It was a small group of people, who often crossed paths alongside you and your company, that came looking for trouble. Taking the familiar path towards the apartment in Boston QZ, you would keep your head down with hands in your pockets as you carried on. Only this time, one man seemed to walk out in front of you in a way to get you to stop. That’s what slowed down your pace, causing you to still as you raise an eyebrow and turn around.

That’s when his buddy had come out next. Followed by another of sorts, you quickly realize it was three against one. You were surrounded and likely, this wasn’t going to bode well for you.

“Well, isn’t this a treat?” they spoke, walking forwards two steps and you seem to remember going three steps back. “Where are you off to?”

You didn’t answer. He always told you not to answer them, just try and get out of the situation in the best manner possible. There was no need to get violent over this.

So you stayed silent, opting to turn away. No matter if one of his men were close behind, you had to find your opening. He tells you not to pick a fight, it isn’t worth it if it means you get harmed.

“What? We don’t get the privilege of an answer?” they taunt and you feel it slowly rising in your system, how your blood boils at the sound of them picking upon you. How in the end of the world, there’s no shortage of bullies as people have learned to adapt to the new world around them in any way they can. They come out of the woodwork, almost like moths summoned to fresh light. “Stay awhile, we just want to talk.”

“I fuckin’ doubt that,” you remarked, where you immediately cringed because you know you denied the one rule he warned you about. Don’t give them an answer. 

“She speaks!” the ring leader says as his buddy seems to cut you off from the opening, blocking you in between the three men as they step closer. “Where you headin’?”

Stop while you’re ahead. “None of your fuckin’ business.”

Tsk, tsk, tsk goes the man’s tongue against his teeth as one seemed to press his chest against your back. “You know, you’re not being very nice. We’re just trying to hold a nice, friendly conversation…”

One hand of theirs had reached forward, tugging lightly on the collar of your oversized denim jacket that wasn’t yours to begin with. Instinctively, you reach up and slap his hand away as his friends seem to chuckle lightly at how quick you fought back. Almost like you were the little girl on the playground who got her pigtails tugged by the boys and see just how fast you would react in such a manner.

“Oh! And she’s got a little fire in her too! Temper, temper…” the ring leader teases, a wolfish grin on their face before they had stepped forward and leaned down. “Tell you what… I’ll make you a deal that’ll get you out of here scot free.”

“And what exactly are you willing to deal?” you had wondered. You should’ve shut your mouth. You were disobeying him every second you opened it to respond.

“Heard you were working this morning,” the ring leader says, as their grubby hands reach for your denim jacket’s collar again and seem to move to your shoulder as if holding you in place. “Which means you got your ration tickets… Since you and your friend are so buddy-buddy, I think you might not need those. Why don’t we make a deal and you hand them over before a pretty girl like you gets hurt?”

You thought about it: once, twice, thrice times over. Yet you remember that the second you made eye contact with the ring leader, you had smiled… and it had led to you doing the exact opposite of what they wanted. Because you remember hocking a loogie into their eye, earning disgusted yet stunned looks from his two buddies. The ring leader had wiped his face clean, causing them to stare at the DNA evidence on their fingers before you finally cleared your mind of the fog of self-defense in your head.

You were fucked. And you had ran, before they threw you against the wall, stole what they could find on you after laying their hands upon your very person once you delivered a bone-crushing punch to one’s nose and ran off like thieves in broad sunlight. Like they were too damned scared to stay around and face the consequences of beating down an innocent quarantine resident.

Your train of memory becomes derailed as soon as the front door shuts on the other side, sending you into jerking your hands back from hot water. You had almost forgotten your surroundings from the reel in your head, looking around to find if a towel was anywhere near. Grabbing hold of one over the curtain rod, you wipe your hands clean and replace the towel before a voice shouts out.

“Y/N, is that you?” they call out, prompting you to know that it was time to go out there and try to act like nothing happened when it had. “Didn’t think you’d be back by now.”

If only he knew why you were. “Uh… yeah, give me a second. I’m almost done.”

A shuffle of footsteps outside the bathroom signal that he’s turned away, possibly in the small living room that is closest to the entrance of the tiny kitchenette. It was go time now, knowing that there was no turning back from facing what lies ahead. You reach your hand forward, trying to compose your emotions before internalizing them and twist the doorknob. With a hard push (since the door often got stuck), you push it open into the small studio apartment before coming face to back with none other than him.

Joel Miller. Your buddy.

It was no secret to others that you and Joel had surprisingly bonded. Honestly, it had come as a shock to many when they knew who Joel was — a man who kept his emotions under lock and key, then cemented behind 12 foot walls. You may not know every detail about his past, nor what he has seen over the last twenty years, but somehow you had made your way to him and extended your hand as if to remind him one thing.

You aren’t alone. It reads across your face as clear as day. Not anymore.

Which is why it scared you wholeheartedly to face him. He had his back turned, cleaning up something that had been left in the sink with his head bowed and shoulders slouched. Maybe if you shrunk yourself up enough, you could bypass his stare but alas that did nothing. Because as soon as you step back, the floorboard creaks and he turns to face your direction as he holds a washcloth and mug in hand.

What he sees is almost enough to drop the mug entirely.

Minus from the scrapes and bruises evident on the skin of your neck and face, it was mainly the bruising eye, swollen cheek, bloody nose and the split across both bottom and top lip to show you had fucked up entirely. The denim jacket you had stolen from him to go work this morning had blood staining the collar, which luckily didn’t belong to you (but from the ring leader himself) but it still stained the worn fabric below your jaw. You looked absolutely wrecked and Joel, full heartedly, looked terrified.

He had never looked terrified when it came to you before.

“What in the hell?” Joel drawls, lowering the mug with more force than intended as it echoes once it’s placed down. He crosses across the floor, holding the washcloth as he nears you and you almost lurch back again before realizing this was someone safe, someone warm, someone you knew.

“I can explain—” You begin.

“I sure as hell hope you fucking can!” Joel hisses, his tone causing you to almost drop the tough act all together before he reaches his fingers outwards and lifts your chin while being mindful of the wounds close by. “God, what the fuck—”

“I’m fine—” You try to put off.

“Don’t you lie to me, Y/N. You are far from fine,” he insists, causing your stomach to twist as he looks you over before one question falls from his lips. “Who did this to you?”

Silence fills the room around you, despite the ambience from outside as FEDRA’s vehicles went moving by as fast as they possibly could to keep the peace or what they thought it was outside. You meet his eyes, seeing he was awaiting his answer before you drop your head and you feel sheepish as you try and steady your voice.

“You know who.” You remind him. He’s dealt with these so-called men of the quarantine zone. He knew what they often did to you, from taunting to teasing and now physical harm.

It didn’t take him long to connect the dots, causing him to scoff as he knew what you meant. Knowing his anger didn’t help in this moment of vulnerability, he decided it was best to work on what needed to be fixed now: you. Urging you with one hand, you slowly sit down at the table while he sits across from you in the opposite chair and raises your chin again but not too much. In the natural light, all he could think when he looked at you was that you looked like hell and you looked nothing like that the morning before you left.

Taking the washcloth, he bunches it up as precipitation leaks from the fabric. “You wanna tell me what happened to not answering?”

You clench your jaw, a wrong move as you hiss slightly because of the blossoming bruise along the curve of it. Before you could recover from that, he was gently cleansing your face of the dried blood that had caked over your cupid’s bow and lips from the wounds of your nose and lips. No matter how careful he was trying to be, you knew he had to be using slight pressure to get every ounce of it off of your very person.

“They cornered me on the way back,” you reveal, wincing back slightly before his hand stops you from moving too far and keeps you in place so he can continue. “I was minding my own business, but he touched me and kept provoking me—”

“One touched you?” Joel repeats. He stops his work as he eyes you, hearing you loud and clear.

“Not in that manner, no!” You insist, hoping it would calm him before you continue on. “The leader, he just made a big show of picking on me and then he— oh fuck.”

“What?” Joel wonders, seeing you frantically patting the front and sides of the denim jacket before his eyebrows raise and he lowers the washcloth away from your face. “Stop it, slow down — what’s wrong? What else did he do? Talk to me.”

“That stupid son of a bitch!” you exclaim, prompting Joel to grow further confused before you look him in the eye and clarify. “That fucking bastard and his friends took my tickets.”

Joel’s gaze darkens. “Your ration tickets?”

“No, my game day tickets— yes, Joel, my fucking ration tickets!” you seeth, raising onto your feet as you sense Joel standing beside you in order to slow you down. “Fuck, I’m gonna have to ask for more work again. Fuck, this isn’t good. I’ll have to try and get—”

“Y/N, hey— Y/N, listen. Listen to me, dammit, before you panic yourself to death,” Joel demands, causing him to use force as he turns you to him and you stare up at his aged gaze, silent before he speaks. “I understand you’re upset but think about this: ration tickets are one thing, but you’re lucky you got out of there with your life. Especially with how banged up you got from this whole ordeal… fuck, I gotta find you some ice.”

He had twisted your chin to the side, where he could see the swelling of your jaw underneath the blossoming bloom of blue, purple and deepening red. In a moment of silence as he carefully checks you over one last time, you can’t help but speak.

“You should see the guy who led it,” you reveal.

Joel stills, raising an eyebrow as he twists your chin back to look at him and he looks down at you. He keeps you in his hold, sending a small shiver down your spine but your composure stays still. The way he looks at you, as stoic as the man can be after years of personal demons knocking down his door, he seems to look at you with this… carefulness. Almost as if you wonder who else he has looked at like this and if he reserved it for those he cared about most.

Were you someone he cared about most? Or was that all in your head?

Maybe it was because of the concussion you thought you had, there was no telling the difference anymore.

“What’d you mean?” Joel asks as his thumb runs along the uninjured part of your lips. Damn him, the fog in your brain was destined to return now.

“Before they had a chance to grab anything, I did what you taught me,” you admit as he raises an eyebrow, as if asking for further clarification. “This isn’t my blood on your jacket. It’s the guy who led the group’s blood. I broke his nose.”

Silence again. For a moment, it was almost like silence was the only thing accepting of you both as you stare at each other before a small chuckle, drier than anything, is let out from Joel. And in its brief appearance, it still sends a cooling effect over you as if you were searching for it the entire time.

“You broke that guy’s nose,” Joel repeats, seeing that you were wholeheartedly serious before he grins crookedly and then squeezes your chin lightly with the pad of his thumb and his index finger. “That’s my girl… Guess you got some semblance of fight in you.”

“Maybe there’s some part of me that you don’t know that well either,” you confess, looking up at him before you decide to break the serious act you put on. “On the other hand, I think my knuckles are bruised too—”

You see him shake his head, leaning forward as his lips — soft yet slightly chapped — press against your forehead. In the silent space shared between two souls that had been ripped from normalcy and thrown into apocalyptic situations from different parts of the nation, they had found solace in this little moment between both. This was both your moment to share and nothing, not even some asshole and his pack of idiots could try and take that solitude away from you.

“You’re something else,” Joel murmurs, moving closer as his chest is pressed up against yours. There it was again, that warm feeling in the middle of your chest — it never goes away. “You know that, right?”

You tilt your head, as if to mull over his words. “Hmm, I think I’ve heard that before. Was it you who said that ages ago—”

Joel doesn’t let you have it. Instead he leans forward, capturing your lips in a delicate kiss where you can focus every sense on him and him alone. Beyond the musky mix of tobacco, mint and some cheap rye whiskey from a run, you twist your hands into the ends of his salt-and-pepper threads before his lips shift and you hiss before pulling back lightly.

“Shit, sorry,” he murmurs as his thumb strokes your cheek. You shake your head, as if to assure him that the pain was temporary and the bliss of the kiss was forever, in your mind. You curl your hands into the denim shirt he wears, carefully pulling him closer than it was physically possible to with your noses bumping together delicately.

“Don’t worry,” you murmur, voice a hush despite it just being you both — it had always been both of you, in this short period of time. “It’ll pass.”

And with that being said, Joel presses his lips against yours for another whiskey-hinted kiss — pain present or not.

[greenerteacups]

I'm "cool about Lionheart" in the same way Draco is "cool about his relationship with Hermione" in Lionheart, which is to say, not at all... it's freaking epic! You're doing an epic service to the Dramione fandom and you should know!

I want to ask so many questions about what's coming up in your rewrite of canon but I know that would be asking for spoilers so I won't...

Instead, as I'd also love to hear your thoughts on canon as this story is such an amazing canon rewrite, I want to ask at what point in canon, based on the way his character is portrayed, do you think Draco could have realistically had a turning point and switched sides / become friends with the trio / fallen in love with Hermione etc.? Or do you think that Draco in the original story wouldn't realistically be able to change enough for that to happen? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this as a Dramione fan and writer as I think it's something a lot of people struggle with with his character in canon.

this is such a wonderful ask! i am happy to discuss anything about the fic, and i will do my best to talk about its future without spoilers! questions are an indulgence for me, not a task. (fun fact about this question in particular: originally, when i was thinking of the idea for Lionheart, i wanted to do something with a draco-switching-sides rewrite starting around book 5 or 6, only to realize that the way I wanted to write draco in that fic just wouldn't be in-character without a lot of backstory that would be terribly clunky to try and exposit in media res. which prompted me to start thinking about ways that his character could be changed to reach that point, which made me think... you get the idea.)

To your point, I think Draco is a highly reluctant Death Eater — he's a pureblood supremacist, sure, but he's not dedicated to the cause or anything. mostly he's just a selfish fifteen-year-old kid who does what he's told and gets swept up in his parents' mistakes. if there's one thing about draco, it's that he does not make calls based on a moral compass: he makes calls based on what is best for Draco Malfoy, and possibly a very small circle of people beyond that (all of whom share his last name). it's one of the fundamental tenets of Draco's character: he's not a humanitarian. Even four years of relentless moral reformation in Lionheart can't really beat that out of him. It's just not how he thinks.

But that's actually a pretty convenient thing, if you want to start a redemption arc, because the thing is: if at any point the Order of the Phoenix had been able to offer Draco a better deal than the Death Eaters could, I think he'd have jumped on it. Draco does not want to be part of the war. he doesn't want his parents to be part of the war. arguably Lucius does, but by the time we see them in Book 6, both Narcissa and Lucius seem to be clearly horrified and regretful about the situation they've put themselves in. this is why I think fics like Disappearances and A Season for Setting Fires are such natural springboards for Draco's character — because both of their premises are fairly simple: "what if we just let Draco leave the Death Eaters?" That's all it takes! And that could happen at any time. Realistically, it probably wouldn't happen until Book 5 or 6, because that's the first time the Malfoys are actually called upon to serve Voldemort. But I think if anyone had been willing or able to put Draco in witness protection, he would've changed a lot as soon as he was removed from an environment where performing an earnest and violent belief in blood supremacy was literally necessary to his survival.

For instance, I've sometimes toyed with the idea of a canon divergence AU where Draco goes into Witness Protection at the end of Book 5 — Bending Light kind of has shades of this, though the sequel takes it in a very different direction — and ends up doing what he's doing for the first act of Disappearances, which is bumming around Grimmauld Place and basically annoying everyone until the horcrux hunt kicks in and his Black lineage creates a pretext to haul him along on the quest. That kind of environment is really easy to do redemption arcs in, because the characters are in a constant pressure cooker of stress and hormones and near-death experiences, which will trauma-bond the fuck out of them really quickly and get them fairly comfortable having Big Conversations after like, the third or fourth time they save each other's lives. It also makes for a much easier environment to fall in love, because it removes them from the normal context of Hogwarts and pureblood society and makes the stakes of socializing across class/House lines much, much lower — both for Hermione and for Draco. In fact, talking about this has kind of made me realize why Disappearances is such an incredible fic for me; I think it's possibly the most realistic Draco arc I've ever read. But anyway, if it were to happen earlier, then I think it would have to be outside the Hogwarts context — or maybe a Hogwarts where Draco's not in Slytherin. (Hey, speaking of which...)

[aquietwritingcorner]

No... Not Like This

Title: No… Not Like This Day: Febuwhump 2024, Day 28 Prompt: No… Not Like This  Fandom:  TMNT 2003 Word Count: 691  Author: aquietwritingcorner/realitybreakgirl Rating:  M Characters:  Donatello, April O’Neil Warning: SAINW, Major Character Death Summary: April O’Neil knew that the Shredder was a twisted, vile person. But she had never expected to find this, and part of her wished she never had.    Notes: I’m once again using one of Peter Laird’s original SAINW ideas, this time the “stuffed Donatello” one. This is not a happy story, and the implications are kind of disturbing, so please, read at your own risk.    ff.net || AO3

__________________________

No… Not Like This

April stared in astonishment trophy room that Angel had discovered. They all knew that Shredder had kept prizes, but they hadn’t understood the depths to which he would go until they started going through his stronghold. Some of what they had found had truly sickened them, although April could say that she wasn’t terribly surprised at just how far his depravity could go.

But still. She had never expected this.

April trembled as she stared at the find—as she stared at the body of her friend, her brother, Donatello, perfectly taxidermized and on display. Bile rose in her throat, and her stomach heaved, yet she couldn’t look away. He was young, the same age he was when he disappeared, and he’d been arranged in a fighting position, his highly polished bo held in his hands. His expression was fierce and determined, so similar to one that she had seen on his face a thousand times, although it rang hollow, as if whoever had set it didn’t know how to set it right.

And they probably didn’t. Whoever it was probably didn’t know Don, and probably hadn’t cared as he or she killed Donatello, and tore him apart, removing organs and—

April turned and threw up. She fell to her knees, and heaved, the little food she had eaten being violently expelled from her body, and after it, whatever bile she had.

Oh. Oh God. Oh, God in Heaven. Oh God. Donatello had been stuffed. He’d been taken, captured, held, killed, and stuffed like he was some kind of animal, a trophy, as if from a prize hunt. And then he was displayed there for anyone that Shredder wanted to see, to see. He hadn’t even hid the fact that he was more than an animal, not with the stance and expression, but it hadn’t mattered to him, he hadn’t cared.

It was too much, and suddenly all those years of repressed grieving reared up. A sob tore out of her, and April wept where she was, grief and horror pouring out of her.

She had always wondered what had happened to Donatello. She’d hoped that one day he would come back, or that they’d find something of him. She had always hoped that one day she would find out. But not like this. No… Not like this.

That he had died like this, probably in terror and pain, all alone, without any hope. That her gentle, intelligent friend had died in such a gruesome, degrading way, treated as little more than an animal even after death—No. Of all the ways that Donatello could have died, not like this. No… Not like this. The horror of it all was too much, and April felt like she could barely breathe as she wept.

It felt like hours before April stopped weeping, although the tears still fell from her eyes. As much as she didn’t want to, April turned around to face the body of her friend, of her brother, once again.

“I’m so sorry,” she said, her voice shaking. She could still see the undercurrent of fear in his face, something that they couldn’t get rid of. “I’m so, so sorry, Donnie. I promise you, we’ll give you a proper burial, like you should have had all those years ago, right next to your brothers, next to Splinter. But I am so, so sorry, that you died a death like this. No one should have this happen to them, but especially not you. No… Not like this.”

April took a shaky breath, and tried to compose herself, at least a little bit. She wasn’t going to hide her grief. In this time, there was no shame in it, and besides, she didn’t think she could. But she still had duties to take care of them, and chief among them, now, was arranging for a proper burial for Donatello.

After all, it was the last thing that she could do for him. And do it she would, even as she grieved the way that he had died. He didn’t deserve to die like that. No… no, not like that.

Never like that.

[gachagon]

There's a lot that's wrong with AO3 actually, and it doesn't even have to do with the fact that their ever present neutrality on anything that truly matters to people who participate in fandom is always frustrating (Racism, Protecting their Volunteers from triggering material, AI generated content, firing/removing pro-palestinian volunteers and messages), but it's the way that the users who contribute the most to AO3 and who spend most of their time writing for fandom are the users who have contributed the most to creating fandom spaces, and making them what they are.

And often times those users are people of color who get pushed aside in favor of defending content or behavior that directly harms them. I have been in fandom for most of my life, and I can definitely say that there are a lot of people who care far more about being able to read their little bed time stories, than the lives and well being of real life individuals.

The world could completely turn on its head and yet there will still be some moron with an internet connection trying to read an AO3 fic. And it seems silly, until the controversies that I mentioned previously happen. It's funny, until you're the author getting sent death threats and having their work mocked and stolen by white people on the website. It's funny, until you're the author who's work was fed into a machine so it could be "completed". It's funny, until you're the volunteer who gets fired for speaking up about an active genocide happening.

We cannot put something as trivial as fucking fanfiction above the lives of real people, and I am so tired of authors and readers who defend this website with their life acting as if there could possibly never be another Ao3. That if anyone ever criticized AO3 it could potentially be the second burning of the Library of Alexandria, and that POC just have to "deal with it" when it comes to the actual disgusting behavior of some people on this website.

All this to say I will not, and never WILL give this shitty Org my money, and I don't think anyone else should either. POC who use the Archive should not have to put up with and deal with gross violent racism in the name of fanfiction. And if you truly believe that, than you really need to log off and interact with actual people instead of spending all of your time rotting your brain on the internet.

[creatureheart]

Welcome!

To a simple blog for me to explore things about myself and my nonhuman identity, and to simply reblog relevant posts and things that I like.

You can call me Pandora. New nicknames are welcome. They/It

[[ Carrd ]] Other Sites — content will be similar [[ CoHost | TikTok | Bluesky | Pillowfort | Dreamwidth ]] [[ Main Blog ]] [[ Tags ]] — my tags for ease of access and mobile users.

Replies, comments and asks/submissions are always welcome.

BYF below — please read because the only one to blame if you see something you don't like is yourself.

BYF — if you don't like, just block/move on

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I am an Adult(Dec '93). If you are not ok with this, and I follow you, please soft block, or block me to keep yourself comfortable.

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I am Queer/Asexual and Indigenous(Australian).

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Most of this blog will be SFW, but there still might be possible adult content on this blog, which will be tagged. Keep this in mind if you are a minor or do not wish to see such!

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I try to tag everything that I reblog with general, wide tags when they are useful. Use the content filter options and/or xkit to stop from seeing what you don't want to see. I do not tolerate hateful comments towards anything "creepy crawlie"(bug, insect, snake, rats, etc) and will block on sight. I understand phobias and squicks, but they are animals that are just as worthy or respect as anything else is. This goes DOUBLE for anyone that makes comments on people's pets.

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I'm not here for drama and discourse, don't drag me into it or tell me about it.

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I use the word Queer. If you do not believe in reclaiming slurs or you tag things as "q slur" just block me. I am also kink positive, pro-sex education, pro-sex worker, etc. TERFS, SWERFS, Radfems, Gender-Criticals, Truscum/Transmed, Anti-Mogai, Exclusionists, Aphobes(Ace+Aro-phobic), LGBwithouttheTQ, etc are not welcome.

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I am of the old internet mindset of "if you don't like it, don't look" and "don't go looking for things you know you don't like/you know will upset you." I don't really have a set DNI (though some of the things I will never tolerate are mentioned in here) — I block, unfollow and filter liberally, because it is not on other people to cater my online space for me. If I see something I don't like, I remove it from my sight and move on. I take ZERO responsibility for other's online experience as this is my blog. If you see anything you don't like that I post or reblog, just unfollow and/or block. People just looking for an argument or who are rude will be blocked and possibly reported. Comments will be deleted. Neil Gaiman's Essay: Why defend freedom of icky speech? Video: "On the Ethics of Boinking Animal People"

I'm old and tired, and kids these days would probably label me a "proshipper" as I believe there is way more nuance to this entire thing than simply the black and white mindset that the internet & fandom communities have shifted to over time. I do not condone any taboo or problematic content IRL. But it is not my place, or my right to tell others what they can and cannot do in fiction/fantasy. It's unrealistic to believe that anything created that holds taboo or problematic content means the one who created it condones it IRL. This falls along the same kind of mindset mostly conservative parents spat that "violent video games make people violent", which we all know is not true. Censoring problematic content will not stop people from creating it. They will just create it where you cannot see it, which in turn could make it harder to find, and harder to stop when actual harm is dealt. Can fictional/fantasy content affect reality? Sure! I will never say otherwise. But to believe that it always does is, again, unrealistic, and assuming that most people cannot differentiate between the two. Fiction and fantasy were created for people to be able to entertain ourselves, and to explore topics that we never would, or were impossible, in the real world in the safety of our minds and spaces we created. The actions of those who use fictional content as a reason to do taboo and problematic things in real life is entirely on them, and they need to seek professional help for their paraphilias, or harmful actions. If something... - happens between two(or more) consenting ADULTS - makes someone happy - does not harm themselves or anyone/anything IRL ...then what other people do is none of my business.

Dividers by benkeibear

[danggirlronpa]

Hey mind telling me what the story behind Kiyo’s sister is? I’m kind of clueless and only heard one story of the whole thing😅

This got decently long, so I've put it under a cut. I'll add it to the FAQ tomorrow as well, since it's come up a few times!

I will also request that this post not be reblogged to hate blogs or blogs specifically dedicated to "bad" or "disliked" content. As someone who has been harassed as a result of content being circulated in those circles, it makes me very panicked and anxious to see my work on similar blogs. If you do so, I will need to block you for my own mental stability.

In V3 chapter three, Korekiyo admits to mass murder and takes on the guise of his sister to do so. As a result of being nearly beaten to death at one point, Korekiyo created a tulpa of his dead sister (who we'll call by her popular fan name, Miyadera, from here on). He believed Miyadera wanted him to murder 100 girls, and claimed that they were once lovers.

In general, fans seem to take Korekiyo's claims at face value. Which is...weird, considering how obviously the whole thing is a "mentally ill delusional sexually deviant serial killer" trope played completely straight. And that his worldview includes things like "I should kill people so my dead sister has friends." But let's set that aside, and say that, for the sake of explaining the popular fandom viewpoint, Korekiyo is a reliable narrator.

So in chapter 3, when he is on the brink of being cornered, Korekiyo begins to switch between his own identity and the identity of his sister's tulpa. These are the only potential looks we have into Miyadera's personality. To give you the gist, here are all of the quotes while Korekiyo takes on his sister's guise that are listed on the Wiki.

(Please note that the "Apologize" is directed at another student who challenges Korekiyo.)

I'm going to be honest. I have reread this a LOT trying to figure out what everyone else is apparently seeing here that I am not. At worst, this reads to me as a slightly stern etiquette teacher. But the popular fandom perception is that this dialogue implies that Miyadera was manipulating and abusing Korekiyo. I could not honestly tell you WHY people believe this, but they do.

And people ran with that. They ran with that so hard. Every sin Korekiyo commits is pinned down as being Miyadera's fault, and Korekiyo is absolved of his crimes as a result of being an abuse victim. It's similar to the effect you often see in the way people discuss Junko and Mukuro, except that Mukuro does not invoke nearly as much sympathy on a larger level, even though Junko's mockery and subsequent murder of her sister are explicit canon.

Now, to be clear: I don't buy into this. I think this is an extremely generous reading of Korekiyo's character, and that it removed his agency and the horror of his crimes to make him more sympathetic (particularly for shipping purposes - if you glance through the Miyadera tag, you see a LOT of Korekiyo/Rantaro fics with Miyadera as the evil abuser Rantaro must rescue Korekiyo from). I also think that people give too much credit to the canonicity of Miyadera's "possession" when it isn't clear, even in the universe of the game itself, whether Miyadera is actually a tulpa or if it's an identity that resulted from Korekiyo's trauma, like Syo/Jack.

But on its own, I don't care about it THAT much. People have headcanons I disagree with all the time. I don't really like a lot of people's thoughts about Nagito's backstory, either, but I don't think about it very often, and I certainly don't care enough to get mad about it. The problem is...

People are very, VERY violent about Miyadera.

I'm going to ask you to reread the quotes from Miyadera as a reminder of literally everything we know about her personality. And then I'll ask you to read this post.

This...is, in fact, despite all odds, the predominate opinion on Miyadera. If you go into her character tags, there are an endless number of posts like these, daydreaming about doing violence on her person, murdering her, torturing her, etc.

As a Grandparent (25, the age of spinsterhood), this sets off some alarm bells. This is how people used to treat female characters who got in the way of their favorite ships, like Kairi from Kingdom Hearts. Now, that is popularly understood to have been a result of misogyny. It is horrifying to see that it has survived.

Fantasizing about committing excessive violence against a woman...is misogyny. Making up crimes a woman did not canonically commit as an excuse to justify fantasizing about violence against her is misogyny. It is one thing to dislike a character based on headcanons. It is a totally separate matter to participate in and encourage this level of vitrol solely to make a male character more sympathetic.

To clarify: I do not think that misogyny is the sole reason for this interpretation. By nature, Danganronpa appeals to teenagers, who tend to fall into this type of fandom-wide trap more easily. But it is, in fact, more concerning to normalize this sort of thought process among teens and young people. And so I am very defensive of Miyadera's actual character as a result.