#i am writing up a response as soon as i can. I'VE GOT WORDS TO SAY

[subbmissivesuccubus]

I don't know if this kink has a name but I am just obsessed with super casual boob play lmao

Also!!?? Thank you guys for helping me reach 2K followers! It's so exciting and i've been having so much fun writing and reading the smut on this website. Here's to many more stories which hopefully give you the tingles <3

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"Alright, so that's the groceries we need for this week."

"Mmm."

"Oh, don't forget to buy flowers! It's my moms birthday tomorrow."

"Mmm."

"Are you even listening?" you asked, crossing your arms over your chest as you glared at your boyfriend, the man simply staring at you.

"Mmm."

"Ok, so that's a no." you said, rolling your eyes before snapping your fingers in front of your boyfriends face, the man jumping and blinking a few times as he was brought back to reality.

"Can you pay attention now?" you asked sternly.

"Sorry. I was too busy staring at your tits." he said honestly, making you sigh. There he goes again with his very obvious boob obsession, your man having a clear fetish for your breasts.

"Well, if you continue to ignore me, you won't see my boobs for a week."

"Or, you flash them to me now, I promise I'll remember every single word you say."

"Oh my God."

"Come here, baby. Come here." he begged, hands reaching out to quickly grab you by the hips and drag you forward, his nails digging into the fabric of your skirt as he all but manhandled you onto his lap, smiling at you as he got your legs to straddle his waist.

"You're a degenerate." you snarled as you placed your hands on his shoulder, more than familiar with this particular song and dance.

"I'm your degenerate. And besides, this is your fault you know." he said, casually fisting the hem of your t-shirt before pulling it up, "If you didn't have such perfect titties, I wouldn't be like this!"

"So you weren't obsessed with boobs before you met me?" you questioned, allowing him to tug the t-shirt upto your chin, the man greedily looking at your bra covered breasts. Not having the patience to take the shirt off of you completely, he simply pulled it over your head so it looped around the back of your neck, your arms still in the sleeves but he didn't care as all he wanted was access to his favorite part of you.

"Of course not." he said confidently as he all but face planted into your cleavage, groaning in delight as he pushed his face in as deep as he could go, "I only got obsessed when you came into the picture."

You huffed, trying to fight the blood rushing to your face and between your legs as you fisted a hand through his hair, tugging at it a bit as you got his attention:

"Are you going to listen to me now?"

"Mmhmm." your boyfriend groaned, nodding a yes against your boobs, truly happy being surrounded by your plump flesh. Sighing, you once again told him what he needed to buy for groceries, allowing him to grope and kiss you wherever he wanted. His tongue ran over your skin, huffing and humming in response every time you asked him if he was listening.

He soon pushed your bra up as well, too eager to bother unhooking it as he placed it against your collarbone, the elastic of the band digging into your skin and making your tits look even more delicious than before. He opened his mouth and took a nipple in, closing his eyes as he started suckling gently, his arms wrapped around you and pulling you in closer.

"H-Hey..." you moaned, gripping his hair tighter as he suckled on you, "It's getting late. You need to leave before the stores close."

"Mmhmm. I know." he muttered against you, tongue coming out to flick at your nipples a few times before he moved to the other breast, giving her the same treatment, "Just- fuck- give me a minute."

You sighed, jumping as you felt his hands move down to your ass, taking greedy gropes of your butt as he lost himself in the sensation of your breast in his mouth.

Yeah, you were not getting your groceries today.

~~~~~

You slipped away from the group of friends in the living room to your bedroom, wanting to get your phone which had hopefully finished charging by now. As you were checking your phone and responding quickly to a few messages, you suddenly felt a hand on your waist that swiftly moved upwards and groped your right breast.

"Eh-hey!" you hissed softly, head snapping back towards your boyfriend, his touch so familiar that you instantly knew it was him, "Cut it out! We have guests!"

"I know but I just need one suck, ok?" he asked even as his other hand came up to start unbuttoning your shirt dress, "I'll be super quick, I promise."

"You- ah!" you squealed as he got the buttons undone enough to expose your bra, his fingers digging into the cup of the right side to pull it down, revealing your bare breast to the crisp air. He turned you around and quickly bent down and took the nipple into his mouth. Your head kept snapping between him sucking your nipple and the door, on edge as if anyone walks in, it would be very obvious.

Your man groaned as he suckled on your nipple, eyelashes tickling your skin as he closed his eyes. The sound of the TV and chattering was loud enough to thankfully drown out his groans, your boyfriend suckling you so hard it made your toes curl.

"Wh-you-" you hissed as his hand quickly pulled down the other cup of your bra and exposed your other breast, "You said only one!"

"I know but I can't not suck her too!" he protested, giving your left nipple a greedy lick, "she'll get jealous!"

"What the fuck are you talking abooouuttt!" you gasped as he suddenly took the nipple in and sucked on it as well, just as vigorously. You stood there for a few seconds, allowing your maniac of a boyfriend to suck and feel you up before he finally pulled away.

"Just what I needed. Thank you baby." he said, kindly helping you stuff your tits back into your bra and right your dress, giving your tits a final squeeze before he walked out of the room, leaving you a frustrated mess with your nipples tingling.

What a menace.

~~~~~

It was movie night, one of your favorite ways to spend time together. It was always a treat to just relax with your boyfriend, put on a random movie, eat popcorn and talk.

And of course, he also loved that he gets to play with your tits the whole time.

You huffed as your boyfriend pulled you onto his lap, his legs spread wide to accommodate you between them. Bowl of popcorn in hand, you munched away at the treat even as your man slid his hands up your shirt, aiming for your breasts.

"Ew, why are you wearing a bra?" he asked, clicking his tongue as his hands got in contact with the soft fabric.

"Sometimes I like having my boobs supported by something, ok? Fucking sue me."

"You don't need a bra to support your tits when you have my hands. I'm taking it off."

Before you could even protest, your man slid his hands to your back and unhooked the bra masterfully, practically an expert at it at this point. He was about to push the straps down your arms and pull the bra out from under your shirt but then he realized- why are you wearing a shirt? You might as well be topless as he was going to play with your boobs the whole time anyway.

So with your shirt and bra tossed onto the floor, you tried your best to focus on the movie playing on screen even as your boyfriend happily groped away at your tits. Ample flesh spilling out between his fingers, he squeezed you like a toy- like your tits were something he could use to alleviate stress. Occasionally, he'd flick his fingers over your nipples, working them up to stiff peaks before gently pinching them between his thumb and index finger. He'd place his hands underneath your breasts, cupping them before he bounced them up and down, loving the feeling of your heavy flesh landing on his palms, the ripple of your breasts on impact instantly making his cock hard.

And of course, as usual, once he was done playing with his hands (which was practically an hour long activity), he'll move onto his mouth. Your body automatically moved along with him as he lifted you up a bit higher onto his lap, looping an arm over his shoulder so he had the space to lean down and take a nipple into his mouth.

"Y-You're not even watching the movie, are you?"

"Mm-mmm" he responded, shaking his head no against your breast, his response making you shiver. You rolled your eyes and continued to watch the movie, failing at it even before he started sliding his hand into your pants.

~~~~~

Of course, your boob obsessed boyfriend can't sleep unless it's on said boobs.

"Take it offfff!" he whined, wrestling with you as he harshly tugged at your shirt.

"It's cold!" you protested as you tried to pull the fabric back down over you, "I'm going to freeze!"

"I'll keep you warm! You know the rules- no clothes in bed."

"You're wearing clothes!"

"Yes but I don't have a pair of delicious tits that are just begging to be suckled!"

"Oh my God- fine, how about this?" you asked, slapping his hand away from your shirt before you pulled up upto your chin, flashing him your bare boobs, "Just get in here and I get to keep the shirt on."

"...Why didn't you just say so?"

You grunted as you were tackled, pushed to lie down on the bed as your boyfriend landed on top of you, face first into your tits. You pulled your shirt over his head, covering the dopey smile on his face as he used his hands to push your tits against him, shaking his head from side to side as he motorboated you.

He thankfully still had some sense to pull the blanket over the two of you and you were able to dim the lights, whipping your phone out so you can get some screen time before you went to sleep. You felt wetness on your left nipple, your boyfriend finally done with shaking your fat tits in his face.

His tongue ran in circles over the hard bud, dragging it slowly as he knew he could take his time. He started flicking your bud harshly, his hot tongue making you shiver with each flick. Eventually, he sealed his lips around it, groaning happily as he started to suck. He was noisy- moaning like he was eating a delicious meal and the slobbering noises of him feasting on you making your ears ring, the pressure he used to suckle on you keeping you on your toes.

As he sucked on the left one, his hand came up to play with the right, toying with her as he got her ready to be sucked next. He rubbed the nipple around with his thumb before pinching it gently, giving her a few twists once in awhile. He was latched onto the same nipple for almost 30 minutes before he moved onto the next one, but not before dragging himself from underneath your shirt and pushing the fabric upto your chin.

Fuck it. You were falling asleep and now your body was running hot so you didn't really care.

"Baby... I want-" he gave your nipple a kiss before he snuggled his face into the fat of your breast before looking up at you, "I want to drink your milk. Make it for me."

"How many biology lessons did you fail for you to think that's possible?" you asked, your eyelids drooping and voice heavy.

"Why are you not pregnant yet? I cum in you like, everyday."

"...You know I'm still on birth control."

"I know but I'm confident I can defeat it."

"Mmkay, keep dreaming. Now shut up- i'm gonna sleep."

"...Stop taking your birth control."

"I'm not having a baby just so you can drink some breast milk."

"Of course not. We'll have a baby because we're in love and we'll be together forever!"

You opened one eye and looked down at him, letting him know you were not impressed.

"...And so I can drink your milk."

"Just keep sucking or sleep."

He pouted before he took your left nipple into his mouth.

~~~~~

Gojo Satoru, Haibara, Shanks, Sanji, Luffy, Ace, Kaeya, Kaveh, Childe, Cyno, Itto, Uzui, Sanemi, Eren, Jean etc. etc.

[russellsppttemplates]

That’s bullshit if I’ve heard of any (Lando Norris)

Lando finally had enough of seeing you hurt like that

Note: english is not my first language. I've been writing this one for a little bit and today felt like the day to finish it ✨️ this also felt close to home, but good to write it out, too!

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: reader's self-doubt and low self esteem, loneliness, curse words, mentions a bad date with a rude person

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

"Are you sure you want me to come over?", you asked your best friend over the phone, refusing to accept that he had no better plans for his Friday night now that he was not racing.

"Is this your way of telling me you don't want to come over? Because that's fine, I'll stay in - are you going somewhere though? Like a date?", Lando said over the phoneline.

"Bold of you to assume I would have plans, and with a date nonetheless", you muttered, "all I'm saying is if you have something better to do, you should go do it!", you explained, not wanting to get into the topic too deeply.

"There's nothing better than spending time with my bestfriend! Do you need me to pick you up or do you feel comfortable driving at this time of night?", he wondered, "I'll be there in 10 then", you chatted off, ending the call.

Looking around your room, you found clothes that were both comfortable and presentable in case, with your usual luck, you were pulled over by the police and had to come out of your car.

Lando finally had some time off before the season began and he wanted to spend it with you. While you were usually able to fly out to most of the European races and even travel the long distance to other race tracks, this season you had more responsibilities to juggle between your internship, your studies and your family.

He arranged the pillows on the sofa and brought out your favourite snacks, getting his place ready while occupying the time until you rang his doorbell, walking up to the door so he could let you inside, "hey!", he greeted, excited to finally have you with him after weeks where you both had been busy.

"Hey", you said, nudging his hip slightly with yours as you went to the shoe cabinet, leaving your shoes there and putting on your slippers you kept at his house.

Following him silently to the living room, you watched him sit down as you took in the comfort his place made you feel.

"You're not okay", Lando stated, "I noticed when we were on the phone".

"So this is a pity visit?", you wondered, "That's why you called me over?", you grumbled, feeling the blush erupt on your cheeks along with a little annoyance.

"I never said that! I, I called you and then noticed you weren't okay! Scoot, scoot, I got a tray full of goodies for us to eat", Lando urged, pushing the blanket to the side so you could get in the warm cocoon he created with the soft fabric along with pillows in various shapes and sizes you had insisted he needed to make the place feel more home-y.

"Are you going to talk about what's on your mind or do you want to watch this new show in silence?", he wondered, pointing the remote at the TV.

"I don't want to talk about it, not now anyway", you grumbled, finding your perfect position as you laid against your bestfriend, his arm going around your shoulders as you snuggled your legs under the blanket.

The new show ended up involving a romantic couple which only heightened your feelings. Lately, it was all you could see. Everyone around you seemed to have something romantic going on and they were happy with it. One of your friends was even convinced that she would be proposed to within the next few months, and you were single. Soon enough after you entered these thoughts, they pulled you to questions like why won't people love me? why am I single? what is it that doesn't attract people to me? and the one that you had yet to find a proper answer to, the list becoming too long for your own good am I unlovable?

"Can we watch something else, please?", you asked after debating for a few minutes wether or not you should interrupt, "I'm sorry, but I'm not enjoying it that much", you mumbled.

"That's okay, Y/N, I'll just put on one of our reruns", he smiled, changing the streaming platform and looking for the square on the screen, "if you want to just lay here, that's fine, too", he encouraged.

"At least I'm not alone with my thoughts", you mumbled again, looking at the ceiling as Lando moved his neck to join you, "I'm not sure what you mean, but I'm here for you anyway", he squeezed your hand that found its way to his own.

"It's just, - I've been reflecting? I don't even know if that's the word, but I've been feeling lonely", you blurted, still unsure if you were voicing all of it.

Lando hummed, urging you to continue, "like, I'm craving to have somebody there for me, someone who I know is in my corner, who I feel totally comfortable with. My brother was telling me all about the stuffed bunny his girlfriend asked him to take care off! I want that with someone", you pouted.

Lando tensed, rearranging his position on the sofa to look at you softly as you kept looking at his white ceiling.

"Maybe I should be less opinionated, less vocal about what I think and feel", you mused.

You'd lose your essence, Lando thought as he heard you rant on and on about the traits you wanted to change about yourself.

"Changing something physical is harder, but maybe I can change that, right? Be a bit quieter with what I say, measure my opinions, say yes and agree with things more", you shrugged, shaking the whole thing off of your body, wanting to rid yourself of the thought, "I can't, I won't be able to do that, they'd notice it straight away", you sighed.

As the night went on, Lando quickly changing the subject, you spoke about anything that came to mind until you looked at your watch, "Fuck, it's so late, I have to go", you stood up quickly, bending to pick your slippers up from the floor when he stopped you, "stay in the guest bedroom for tonight. Sleep here", he tried.

"Is it because I said I was lonely? I was just venting it out, you don't need to worry about me being a loner", you tried your best to assure it.

"No, you muppet. I'm doing it because I don't like the idea of you having to drive all the way back at this time of night", he reasoned, getting up himself and walking with you to the guest bedroom.

"Is this still made from the last time I was here?", you wondered, looking at the sheets.

"I made it before you came here! And I've washed the sheets, thank you very much. You have a fresh bed to sleep on", he smiled charmingly.

"Thanks", you smiled back, grabbing the clothes you usually wore to sleep when you stayed over from the drawer, "those have been washed, too", he pointed, "if you need anything, I'm in my usual spot", he winked, "Good night, Y/N, sleep tight!".

"Thanks for this", you gestured, "Good night, Lando", you said before he saluted you playfully, closing the door behind him.

Using the ensuite for your night routine, you changed into the shorts and Lando's t-shirt, noticing that all of the washes had made it smell less of his cologne and more of the scented fabric softener he uses.

The t-shirt fit snug against your hips, embracing your curvy body as you got under the sheets, letting the weight of them lull you to sleep and slow down your thoughts.

.

Lando was driving to a restaurant he knew well enough. He had had a few dates there before, one team dinner and a few family birthdays too whenever they were in town.

But right now, he was picking you up. From a date that apparently wasn't going well since he got a text from you asking him to pick you up.

"Hey, gorgeous girl", he said once he opened the car window as he parked in front of the restaurant, thankful that it wasn't too busy and no one seemed to notice or care that he was there.

"Thanks for picking me up", you mumbled as you sat down, pulling on your seatbelt and nothing your bestfriend's gaze on you, silently questioning you.

"He was an asshole", you explained, "kept asking me if I was sure of what I was doing, if I knew any Formula One drivers - don't worry, didn't out anything - and then he just kept being rude to me, to the waiter, who was wonderful by the way".

"I didn't mean him. I don't care about him, I care about you", Lando said, driving back to his place, assuming you'd want to have someone close by that wouldn't ask too many questions.

"It was just another one where it didn't go well", you mumbled, letting your head rest on the window and looking out at the lights illuminating the city.

"Do you want to go to my place?", Lando asked, knowing you wouldn't want to be pushed about the subject, "yes, please", you said.

As soon as you got inside his place, you took your shoes off, walking up to the spare bedroom to leave your bag in there, "thank you for picking me up, you're the best, Lando", you smiled as you rested against the door frame.

"No worries, okay? Sleep tight, I have good plans for tomorrow so this will be out of your mind", he smiled a small one.

"Night night, Lando", you said back, closing the door behind you and letting the tears finally fall.

It was horrible. The way he treated other people should have been the first clue and red flag, but somehow it still surprised you how he conducted the whole date. You weren't expecting a prince or a gentleman, but you expected human decency and it turns out you were not afforded that. He kept leaving snarky comments about his exes. He was rude, sexist and definitely not your type, and after splitting the bill, you informed him that someone would come to pick you up.

Could someone be unlovable? Not worthy of love to the point where anyone they attracted to their presence just wasn't a match and they had to be content with the bare minimum?

Splashing some water on your face and wiping it with the towel, you took one good look in the mirror. It looks like it's going to be you for a while, so you might as well get used to it, Y/N.

.

When morning rolled around, Lando was the first to wake up, getting ready and heading to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for the two of you. He wanted to make something special, because even though you had your tough shell on yesterday, he knew you were feeling it deeply and painfully.

This quest of yours was doing you more harm than good. And it wasn't helping him either. For a few years, Lando figured, he has loved you. At first, it wasn't a clear sentiment. You were best friends, obviously there was a deeper connection. But then it felt so much all the time, there was never a break for the butterflies on his stomach or for the jealous green eyed monster whenever you so much as mentioned anyone else. He wouldn't dare say it, but he's so glad your date last night sucked.

As he prepared your coffee, your footsteps approached, "Good morning", you croaked out. You looked like you hadn't slept well, which Lando figured was a given considering the heard you move a lot during the night.

"Good morning, I made this for you. The balcony had nice sunlight right now, I figured you'd enjoy breakfast there", he attempted, bringing a small smile to your lips as you thanked him for the mug, "I'll bring the rest shortly", he called.

As you looked out to the always busy streets, you took in their quickness and rush. How it was all fleeting and momentary.

Lando placed the tray on the table, arranging it so you both could reach everything.

"I heard you crying last night", he began, his fist clenched at the memory as he sat down.

"I'm fine", you shrugged.

"I don't think you are, and I don't want you to suffer, Y/N", he insisted, unusually bold considering he knew which territory he was stepping into.

"It's not easy to come to terms with the fact that I'm single and that it might look like that for a bit, and who even knows how long that 'bit' might actually be", you chuckled, looking at him expecting his understanding gaze but being face with furrowed brows instead along with a scoff. "What? It's not like I'm being unreasonable, I'm just stating the facts", you squinted.

"That's not how it works, and you know that Y/N", he sternly spoke, straightening his back and facing you completely.

It was your time to laugh and scoff a little, "unless something changes within me, I'm sure this is how I'll find myself in the foreseeable", you shock your head.

"All of those things you want to change about yourself? Or that you say you should change to make you more likeable and lovable? That's dimming your light and your spark", Lando bit back, having had enough of it, "if someone loved you after all of those changes, they wouldn't love you for who you are, they would love a fabricated version of you. You're not unlovable", he smiled at the irony of it all. How after all these years, he still hadn't plucked up the courage to tell you how he felt about you.

"How can you say that when you have everyone falling at your feet? Women see you and they're ready to have anything you'll give them! You don't have to change who you are because someone made you feel like you couldn't be loved because of who you are and what you do!", you bit back, sensing a tone in him that was unusual and certainly not comfortable.

“I just need to know who the fuck told you you don’t deserve to be loved, because I’m about to beat their asses up", Lando called, elbows supported on the chair's arms as he looked at you.

"No one's ever told me, I'm probably the one saying it to myself, the rest of the people just make me feel like I'm unlovable, so if you want to hit me, I would prefer you didn't, I bruise quite easily", you tried to joke, not wanting to let your mind wander to the parallel utopian reality where your bestfriend feels the same way about you.

"Then it's all the people that made you feel unloved", Lando said, "none of them deserved a second of your attention, but I can give them a second of mine just for that".

“That’s a lot of people you’re gonna have to beat up, then, and I’m not sure if I want to bail you out of jail for that. We can't all have full bank accounts like yours", you joked again, watching him as he kept on with the subject.

"Stop joking about this! I'm being serious with you, Y/N! You deserve all of the love in the world - and even that wouldn't be enough!", he got up.

“Please, I think we have both realised and reached the conclusion that maybe I’m just not meant to be loved", you added.

“That’s bullshit if I’ve heard of any! No one’s not meant to be loved. There’s someone out there for you, and I think I’ve made it clear that, if it’s really not anyone else, then that someone’s me”, he stopped in front of you. There it was. Out in the open for everyone to hear. His balcony was covered and closed, something he was grateful about as he confessed his love for you.

"You can't joke about this", it was your turn to mention it, getting up as he took your hand in his.

"I'm not, Y/N, I'm really not", he whispered, resting his forehead in yours.

"Kiss me", you pleaded. He was quick to comply to your request, hand cupping your cheek as he tasted the bitter coffee from your lips and felt you unravel to him in a way he didn't think was possible anymore.

"I have loved you for so long, Lando", you whispered once you pulled away for air, "and I couldn't imagine a world where anyone would love me back, let alone you", you admitted, looking into his beautiful orbs.

"You don't have to make any effort to imagine it anymore, baby. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere. You're so loved and I'll be damned if I don't show you how much everyday of our lives", he smiled, kissing your lips again as your hands travelled to his messy curls.

[gingersnap-17]

Opposites Attract (Ryomen Sukuna x Fem Reader)

Authors note: I am so sorry I took so long to write another story! I hope you enjoy this one. I noticed a lot of you loved my other Sukuna oneshot, so I am here with another one for you guys! Sukuna once again is a loving husband to his wife, but he still teases her and has his snarky comments. Very fluff filled!!!!!!!!!

Authors note pt 2: Sukuna in this looks like his OG human form, but without the extra arms and eyes. HE LOOKS DIFFERENT FROM YUJI! But yeah, that's how I imagine he looks in this. Also, this is in a modern au with no sorcery.

Word Count: 1470

In a quiet, modern society, far removed from the supernatural world of curses and sorcery, Ryomen Sukuna was leading a completely ordinary life. He was married to a wonderful woman named Y/N, who was the complete opposite of him in many ways. She was the antithesis of her husband, radiating warmth and kindness wherever she went. Her sunny disposition was like a beacon of light that thawed his icy exterior. Despite his moody and unpredictable behavior, she knew he loved her deeply. She could see it in the way his eyes softened when he looked at her, in the subtle smiles he reserved for her alone. Even when he called her "brat", she knew he meant well.

Their life together was filled with ordinary, everyday moments that were just perfect for the two of them. Ryomen Sukuna's work was demanding, but as soon as he stepped through the door of their cozy home, he was a different man. He shed the weight off the world outside and transformed into a cuddly, affectionate husband. Although his verbal comments didn't change much, the physical transformation showed the other side to this man. The two practically followed each other around the house, sharing meals, watching TV, Y/N sitting with him in the garage while he worked on a project, or simply enjoying each other's company.

One sunny afternoon, Ryomen Sukuna returned home from work, expecting the usual warm greeting from Y/N. However, the house was eerily silent, and he couldn't hear her familiar laughter or the clatter of pots in the kitchen. Concerned, he called out for her, but there was no response.

Worry gnawed at Ryomen Sukuna as he made his way through their home, his search for Y/N intensifying with every step. He finally found her in the bathroom, lying on the floor beside the bathtub. She had slipped and fallen while trying to step out of the shower, and a pained grimace distorted her usually radiant face.

Rushing to her side, Ryomen Sukuna's heart filled with alarm as he gently rubber her shoulders, moving some wet strands of hair out of her face. "Y/N, what happened?" he asked, his voice laced with worry.

Tears welled up in her eyes as she tried to explain through the pain, "I slipped when I got out of the shower. I think I hurt my tailbone. It hurts so much, Ryomen."

 Sukuna's normally stoic demeanor melted away in an instant as he held Y/N close, his worry for her evident in his eyes. "Don't worry, Y/N. I've got you." he whispered softly, his hands cradling her with the utmost care. Gently, he picked her up, walking into their room as he laid her slowly onto their bed.

With a loving tenderness that Y/N had seen countless times in their relationship but never ceased to amaze her, he gently examined her, trying to determine the extent of her injury. He frowned when he realized that her fall had indeed injured her tailbone, the skin around her lower back already starting to bruise and swell. "I will call the doctor and see if he can come over." Before calling the doctor, he got her dried off and dressed in bed, trying to keep her in as little discomfort as he could. 

"I love how quickly you go from 'I hate you brat.' too, 'I love you so much and I am going to take great care of you.'" Y/N said with a small smile.

Ryomen chuckled softly, his eyes filled with both relief and affection as he continued to fuss over Y/N. "Well, it's not every day that my wife takes a tumble in the shower, now is it? I can't have you in pain, Y/N." he replied, his voice laced with sincerity. "And you know I don't hate you, brat. You mean the world to me."

"I know you don't hate me. But 'I hate you brat' just translates to 'I love you' in your own way. I'm right Ryo, I know I am."

Ryomen smiled at Y/N's understanding, grateful that she knew him so well. "You're absolutely right." he admitted, his fingers gently brushing her cheek. "I may not always express it the way you do, but my love for you is immeasurable. You're the best thing that ever happened to me."

As he spoke, he gently brushed a strand of Y/N's hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear. The doctor arrived shortly after, and Ryomen stayed by Y/N's side throughout the examination and treatment. Once the doctor left, Y/N was pretty disappointed with the results. "Of course the only way to take care of a broken tailbone is to do nothing! All I can do is take pain medicine and lay in bed!" Y/N said with heavy annoyance in her voice. 

Sukuna couldn't help but chuckle at Y/N's frustration. "Well, it looks like you have a perfect excuse to be pampered now. Just next time, ask me to be pampered instead of slipping in the bathroom, clutz." he teased gently, his fingers tracing comforting patterns on her hand. "But, you can catch up on all those books you've been wanting to read, so that's a plus in a way."

Y/N couldn't help but smile through the pain, her heart warmed by her husband's care and light-hearted teasing. "I guess you're right, Ryo. I'll have plenty of time to catch up on my reading, and I won't have to lift a finger for a while."

"............Nerd." He responded back to her. He wasn't the biggest reader, so he had every right to call her that. 

Y/N playfully swatted his arm, despite the pain in her tailbone. "Well, at least this 'nerd' won't have to worry about tripping over her own feet anymore." she retorted, her eyes sparkling with humor.

Ryomen chuckled and leaned down to place a gentle kiss on her forehead. "That's true. I'll make sure to keep a close eye on you, my accident-prone girl." he said, his voice full of affection.

Over the next week, Sukuna took time off work to spend time with his injured wife. From cooking meals, helping her into the bathroom, or even reading to her when she begged him to do so, he was there for her. 

Their days together turned into a blend of laughter, occasional teasing, and heartfelt conversations. Y/N's injury had brought them even closer, and the constant care and attention from Sukuna made her heart swell with love.

One evening, as they sat on their bed, Y/N couldn't help but reflect on how fortunate she was to have him in her life. "You know, Ryo," she began, her voice filled with gratitude, "I don't know what I'd do without you. You've been my rock through all of this."

Ryomen smiled and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. "And I don't know what I'd do without you either, Y/N. Although we are quite literally opposites in demeanor and personality, I guess the saying that opposites attract is true."

Y/N leaned her head on his shoulder, a contented sigh escaping her lips. "I guess I'm lucky to have a grumpy, moody husband who turns into a big softie when I'm hurt." she teased.

Sukuna chuckled, his hand gently stroking her hair. "Well, you're stuck with me, brat. And I wouldn't have it any other way." After a few moments of sitting together in a comfortable silence, Sukuna looked down at his wife. "You stink. Let me help you shower so you don't slip and fall. Clumsy brat." 

Y/N only rolled her eyes with a soft smile. "You helped me shower the other day, I know I don't stink that bad."

His lips curved into a smirk as he teasingly replied, "You've been in bed for a whole week practically. Yeah you got of bed, but that was to go pee, take a shit, or shower. You definitely stink." He then added more seriously, "But don't worry, I'll make sure you're safe and sound. I've got you."

Y/N chuckled, grateful for his unwavering support and love. "I suppose I can't argue with that. Thanks for taking such good care of me, Ryo." He smiles, responding to her. "It's my job, brat."

As he helped her to the bathroom, they both knew that even though they were different in so many ways, their love was a bond that nothing could break. Y/N's injury had brought them closer, and they were determined to cherish each other for the rest of their days, no matter how opposite they might be from each other. 

[gyll-yee-haw]

Your age gap writings are so good! Can you write something where the reader is in her 20s in college and Jake protects her from hate from fans or maybe one of his friends is like 'She's way too young for you and she isnt famous or trying to be famous so why are you with her???' and Jake just shuts them down

Thank you so much, babyy <3

I've got a taste for men who are older, can't help it.... 😔

Warnings: age gap, misogyny (not from Jake obv), cockwarming, pool sex, size kink, oral (f), creampie, soft!dom Jake, daddy kink, so many pet names, a hint of innocence kink

Like 3.2k words

---

It was a hot summer day. You were outside by the pool, book open in front of you as the sun burned your skin. You were finally relaxing after an exhausting semester in college.

Poor Jake, though, couldn't join you. He had a lot of things to solve about upcoming projects... you weren't complaining, you were extremely proud. And why would you even complain? Most days he worked from home. He sat with his laptop at the kitchen table, which was separated from the pool area by a glass door, that allowed him to enjoy the view of you in a bikini, living your best life. Well, you earned it, college can be really rough.

More often than not, you would tease him. Like when he was taking an important call and your bikini top would accidentally fall off... or when you (also accidentally) made eye contact with him while enjoying your popsicle a little too much... and all that would lead to him delaying his work just a little bit.

But tomorrow would be different. A few people on his team would come over for a meeting. So you told him you would just hide in the bedroom until they were finished. He insisted that the meeting shouldn't stop you from enjoying your time however you liked, but you said you preferred it that way. Not only you wouldn't feel comfortable having foreigner eyes on you, but you also didn't want to embarrass Jake... you knew by the comments you've been reading the kind of things people called you. You didn't want to give anyone any evidence that you were irresponsible or bad for his career.

-

So, by the time everyone arrived the next day, you were comfortably snuggling on your pillows, searching for something to watch on tv. Or some background noise for you to nap to.

Meanwhile, Jake was downstairs, discussing important things with his crew.

The meeting itself didn't take too long. But as everyone was saying goodbye, one of his oldest friends, who worked on his image's management asked him if it was okay for him to stay a little longer, so they could speak privately. Jake didn't mind and didn't think much of it... after all, they knew each other for a very long time, and would often talk about non-work related things.

"Hey, man." Jake greeted him as soon as the last person walked out. "Sit down, want something to drink?"

"No, I'm okay, I won't take too long, actually." The man replied in a very serious tone. "There's just something that a few of us been talking about and... we really didn't want to bring it up during the meeting, because it's quite delicate."

Jake's face fell. He had been so happy these last days... and the meeting was so successful, he didn't expect to have any trouble soon.

"Actually..." The man continued, as there was no response from Jake. "No one really wanted to bring it up, but... I'm your friend, am I not? I knew I had to."

"What's going on?" Jake asked, trying to get him to go straight to point, instead of explaining himself over and over again.

"It's about Y/N." He said at once. "Listen, man... I know you, I know you're in love and you're happy, but..."

"Hey, don't start." Jake felt his blood boil as he brought your name up. "I know what people say about her. But they don't know her. And neither do you."

"Jake, man..." he shook his head, hands on his waist as he tried get into Jake's head. "Come on, we all know how much shit starts with you don't know her, she's different..."

"Well, and you know that people on the internet are just waiting for opportunity to misinterpret something... at least you should know, since it's your job." Jake shrugged. "I mean... how many times did we have to deal with this?"

"Jake, I'm not talking as someone worried about your career. I know that these comments will die when they find someone else to cancel." He explained. "I'm talking as someone who's worried about you. You know how these girls are... maybe she finds a richer guy before the comments die, you know."

"Get out of my house." Jake closed his eyes and counted to ten, trying to keep his voice low.

"Come on, man..."

"Get the fuck out." He repeated. "If you leave right now, you're just fired. If I have to ask again, I'll make a few phone calls just to make sure you won't be getting another job anytime soon."

"You know what?" The man raised both hands in the air and chuckled. "You do whatever you want, I'm just trying to warn you..."

The look on Jake's face made him walk through the door without saying anything else.

Jake's body felt heavy and he allowed it to fall on the sofa. His heart ached. How could anyone talk about his princess that way? People didn't know how sweet and caring and kind you were. People didn't know how happy you made him.

"Fuck it." He rolled his eyes.

He was stressed and decided to take the rest of the day off. Take the day off to enjoy your company. You relaxed him like nothing else and nobody knew shit about you.

The eager manner he opened the bedroom door made you jump.

"Sorry, baby." He spoke as he climbed up the bed, resting his head on your chest. He left out a frustrated sigh.

"Oh no, what happened?" Your arms automatically wrapped around him. He looked exhausted.

"Just had to fucking fire someone." He replied, feeling his skin crawl. It made him even more angry to remember that asshole's words now, while he was being comforted by you. "Sexist piece of shit."

"Why?" Your eyes widened. He told you it would be a simple meeting... you would never expect things to end this way.

"I don't really wanna talk about it right now." He knew that if he told you, it would ruin your day. It would hurt your feelings, you would get insecure and maybe even feel a little guilty, which you absolutely didn't deserve. "But you could make me feel better, pretty princess."

Your face visibly lit up at the possibility. And that sparkle on your eyes made Jake regret not punching that guy on the face.

"Why don't you put your bikini on, darling?" He suggested. "Wanna spend the rest of the day by the pool with you, how does that sound?"

"Really?" You smiled at him, warming up his heart. "Just you and me, no work?"

"No work." He promised, returning your smile. "Hurry up, angel. I'll be downstairs waiting for you."

You didn't waste any time. You ran to the bathroom to put on your cutest bikini. One Jake himself bought you. You loved it when looking pretty for him could solve his problems. You felt so powerful.

When you were ready, you wrapped a towel around your body and went downstairs. From the kitchen, you could see him inside the pool. His hair was wet and the way he was breathing indicated he had swam a few laps already. You bit your lip. The roles were reversed at that moment. Now you were the one who was appreciating how the sun hit his wet skin so beautifully. His breathtaking body. God, no man your age looked like that.

But his beauty wasn't all that caught your eye. He also looked so stressed. And he tried to hide it as soon as he noticed you approaching the pool.

You tossed your towel on a chair and sat on the edge of the pool, feeling the water cover the lower half of your legs. He swan closer to you and placed his hands on your knees, which you took as sign to spread your legs. As soon as you did, he stood between them and cupped your cheeks with both hands, placing a sweet kiss on your nose.

You shivered as drops of cold water rolled down his fingers through your neck.

"I love you." He said, out of nowhere. "You make me so fucking happy."

"I love you too." You smiled, placing your hands on top of his, still on your face.

His hands went to your waist and he caught how your body reacted, letting out a laugh.

"What? Water is so cold..." you felt relieved by seeing him laugh.

"It kinda is." He admitted, and you knew that look in his eyes. He had an idea. "Why don't you come here and keep me warm, huh?"

"Alright, but give me a minute." You took a deep breath.

"Take your time, baby, I'm yours all day today." He leaned down, spreading your legs a bit more so he could place little kisses on the inside of your thighs, dangerously close to what your bikinis barely covered. "In fact, I'm yours all the time. Everyday. Even when I'm not here, you're all I think about."

"Yeah?" You bit your lip, bringing your hand to the back of his head, grabbing his hair very gently.

"I do." He continued his trail of kisses as he wanted to make sure not an inch of your thighs wouldn't feel loved. "If I could have my mouth on you all day I would, princess. For the rest of my life..."

He grabbed your thighs, making you move foward a bit. Then he used two fingers to pull your bikini panties to the side before getting his tongue on you. He licked your folds up and down slowly, like he was trying to discover what you tasted like. Like he didn't have you for breakfast that very morning. And the way his tongue began to work afterwards, hungrily, in and out of your hole, indicated he liked it very much.

He used his other hand to finger you, one finger in and out slowly, until he felt he could accommodate two, and as your moans got louder, he began curling them inside of you, all while he licked and sucked on your clit with passion.

Your hips bucked against his face and you pulled his hair, trying not to fall inside the pool, since you were dangerously close to the edge.

"Jake!" you gasped loudly. "Gonna cum, gonna cum..."

His mouth was working too hard on your clit and no force in the universe could make him stop at that moment, so he wasn't really able to reply, but you took that as a sign that he really wanted you to. And you did. You screamed his name, pulling his hair hard enough to make him moan against your core. When you were finished, you had to push him away, cause he didn't want to stop.

"Please... it hurts, too sensitive..." you begged.

He separated his mouth from you, wearing an unbearably gorgeous grin. Then he removed his fingers, immediately sucking them clean.

"Taste so fucking good, baby, can't help it, want more..."

"Fuck, Jake, I..."

"It's okay, princess. Won't you join me?" He helped you fix your bikini as if nothing had happened.

"I will, turn around."

He immediately understood what you meant. He turned his back to you and you hopped on it like a koala, gasping as you felt the water involving your whole body, arms and legs wrapping tighter around Jake's body.

"Easy, baby, you'll get used to it." He chuckled, moving around the pool with you in his back.

He was right, soon enough you felt your body relax against his.

"See, I'm keeping you warm." You said, kissing his shoulder.

"Oh, sweet girl..." he laughed. "That's not what I meant."

Your eyes widened at the realization. "Oh... I'm sorry, I'm so stupid."

"You're not stupid. You're my sweet, innocent little girl, aren't you?" He comforted you.

"I guess..." you felt your face grow warmer.

You untangled yourself from him, feet touching the floor. He turned around to face you.

"You're so pretty." He murmured, touching your face softly.

"Wanted to look pretty for you." You smirked. "Make you forget all your worries."

"You did it." His hand wrapped softly around your neck. "You're such a good girl for it."

"Hmm..." you started feeling him through his swimming shorts. "You're so hard."

"Yes, pretty girl. You did this." He brought his lips to yours, brushing softly as you reached inside his shorts.

His hands went to your hips and he kissed you to distract you from the fact he was getting rid of your bikini panties, then threw them somewhere outside the pool, keeping an eye contact that was enough to make you clench around nothing. He pulled his shorts down just enough to free his cock.

"Ready, baby?" He asked sweetly and you nodded. "Don't move, okay? Stay very still and relax."

You wrapped your legs around him and he entered you slowly. When he was all the way in, he stopped everything, just held you tightly.

"Just wanna relax with my pretty girl today." He said, giving your forehead a kiss. "Cock buried deep inside her, where it belongs."

It was the way he spoke the dirtiest things in the sweetest tone that always drove you crazy. That made you wanna bounce on his cock like no tomorrow. That made you moan under your breath, but he always, always heard you.

"What's wrong, princess?" He mocked.

"You're so fucking hot..." you almost cried as you watched him lift your bikini top and pinch your nipples.

"So cockdrunk and I didn't even fuck you properly." He kept playing with your tits.

"Please..." you whined.

"Y/N, it hasn't been 5 minutes." He kissed your neck. "Be patient, I thought you were a good girl... I just need a break, can't you see that?"

"I'm sorry." You moaned. "But... but you can take a break, and maybe I could move, just me?"

"Come on, you can do better than that." He laughed at how incoherent you sounded. "I know you know how to beg, baby. Just say the words, you have to be more clear."

He pinched your nipples again as he saw you hesitate.

"Jake, fuck!" You moaned in pain, feeling your pussy squeeze him. "Let me sit on your cock, PLEASE. I will be good, I promise..."

"That's better." He removed himself from you, earning protests. "Calm down, baby, I'm gonna do what you asked, unless you wanna be a brat..."

You bit your lip, to keep quiet.

He fixed his shorts and got out of the pool, signaling with his hand for you to follow him, and you did, like an obedient puppy obsessed with it's owner.

He sat on a chair, beside the pool, legs spread, waiting for you. You had to take a moment to appreciate his body again. His hairy chest, with a matching beard. He was so big... his thighs, his posture so masculine. The way he looked so intimidating, but was the softest when it came to you... he was perfect.

Soon enough you were standing between his legs. He kept eye contact with you as he got rid of your bikini top, directing his mouth to your tits as he grabbed your ass with both hands, hard enough to leave a mark.

"You're so fucking gorgeous." His voice was filled with lust as he spoke. "Gonna be a good girl and sit on my cock now?"

"Yes, fucking love your cock..." you agreed, feeling dumb as you saw it throb when he pulled it out of his pants.

"You're such a dirty girl, saying things like that... I mean, I know you love my cock, but jesus..." he mocked you with a smirk, helping your straddle him.

"Don't like it when I talk dirty, daddy?" You asked innocently.

"Fucking love it, baby, can't you see my cock throbbing? Come on, angel, make daddy cum like you promised, be good to me..."

He didn't even finish his words before you managed to get it inside of you, moaning at how good he stretched you.

You started moving up and down at a nice pace, knowing both of you were just too horny for games. Knowing that you only had the illusion of being on control because you were on top... but he could make you regret the smallest teasing.

"Fuck..." he moaned both at your movements and the sight of your tits boucing.

One of his hands cupped one of your breasts as the other one went to your hip, a sign that he wanted it harder. And you gave it to him harder.

"You're so good to me, such a pretty baby... you're gonna make me cum."

"Need you to!" You already looked and sounded like a mess, boucing on his cock as fast as you could, feeling your pussy start to squeeze him. "Need to you to cum inside, daddy..."

"Of course, baby, you deserve it, yeah?" Both his hands were now on your hips, handling you like a doll. "All of daddy's cum belongs to this pretty pussy..."

You cried out as you came again. So much harder. And he just kept thrusting hard, his thighs hitting your ass made a sound so loud you could barely hear him.

And then he came too, as deep as he could. He rested on the chair, breathing heavily and you collapsed on his chest. A few minutes of the most absolutely perfect peace he felt in days filled the air, and he breathed it in.

Not even your whines and protests when he pulled out could interrupt it, he just chuckled.

"Shhh it's okay, little one." He said sweetly. "Just wanna take care of my princess."

You accepted, feeling safe as he wrapped a towel around your body and stood up with you still in his arms. He carried you bridal style to the bedroom.

"Waaait! No!" You laughed as he tried to put you down on the bed. "We're still wet!"

"That doesn't matter, we'll change the sheets afterwards, come on..." he rolled his eyes. "Just wanna look at you for a second."

"You've been looking at me a lot these days..." you mocked him. "Watching me through that glass door, I see you pretending to work..."

"It's just hard to believe you're mine." He admited, intertwining his fingers with yours. "I'm afraid you'll disappear if I look away."

"That's right, I'm yours... and I'm not going anywhere." You promised, placing a soft kiss on his lips. "I love you, Jake."

You had no idea how much he needed to hear that. Of course he knew it, but having moments like this, so intimate, even more than the sex they just had, gave him strength to face all the bullshit people said about you and him. Cause in the end, this is what he was coming home to. He felt safe.

"I love you so much, my princess."

[bosbas]

Chapter 8: no one wanted to play with me as a little kid

series masterlist previous part || next part

pairing: benedict bridgerton x best friend!fem!reader WC: 3.4k words

Warnings: period-typical gender roles, idiots in love being idiots in love (sort of. it's like pre idiots in love. on the cusp of idiots in love), fluff (so much fluff)

Summary: You and Benedict have been best friends since childhood, but things change dramatically once you come out in society. You’re struggling to find someone you’re as compatible with and who knows you as well as Benedict, all while trying to quell your ever-growing feelings for him. Shenanigans ensue.

A/N: you know what. let's pretend all of the ages/years make sense. kisses to all of you!

December 4, 1809 - Dearest, loveliest, most wonderful Y/I (your initial),

I am so sorry I have not written in almost two weeks, though I did enjoy the very strongly worded letter you sent me reminding me of this fact and demanding a response. I wish I had a better excuse, but truthfully, this term has just been hectic. But to answer the question you so politely asked: yes, I will be home in time for Christmas, and I will be staying for New Year's and your birthday (your birthday is not even two weeks after Christmas, darling, give me some credit!). Though I rather think you owe me a present instead of the other way around after calling me an oblivious toad.

As an apology for my silence, I've attached my reading list for the courses I am taking at Oxford this term so you can also read them. I am sure you will be able to find them in your library but do let my mother know if you cannot find them. We should also have copies in our library. I will be heading back to Aubrey Hall in ten days to see the lot of you, and I will eagerly be awaiting all of your thoughts on this term's reading.

Yours, B

You couldn't help the excited gasp that left your lips as soon as you were finished reading Benedict's letter. You hadn't even managed to leave your entryway before you hastily opened the envelope addressed to you, blurting out a thank you to your slightly startled butler, who had been taken aback by your eager rifling of the mail. 

Now that Benedict was at Oxford, you barely got to see him at all, so you were more than a little excited when you read that you would only have to wait ten more days to see him. The three weeks he was home for the winter holiday were the bulk of your in-person interactions with him for the year, as had been the norm for the past three years he had been at university. 

It wasn't all bad, though. Proof of that lay in a box in your bedroom filled with every single letter or note you had received from Benedict while he was away at Oxford. Even the short ones, when he was studying for an exam and barely had time to write a coherent response, had found a place inside your box. You supposed the box contained most of your friendship with Ben over the past three years, neatly organized by date from oldest to newest and separated by term. 

Sometimes, you found yourself missing Benedict more than usual, and you would read through your favorite of his letters. Often, it ended up being the shortest notes that were the sweetest and ones you would read over and over. Even years after he had sent the letters, you found comfort in his messy scrawl after an afternoon playing Pall Mall without Benedict and his typical banter. But once you saw him at Aubrey Hall every December, it would be like no time had passed at all. You kept him up to date on everything happening at home with your family and his, and he told you wild stories from his time at Oxford. 

And although you enjoyed hearing about his life, it was also bittersweet. You were so jealous of him, wishing more than anything that you could go to university, too. But alas, the pesky issue of your gender prevented you from furthering your education. You got as close as you could, though. Benedict would send you all of his readings every term, and you enjoyed discussing the books you read at length when he returned for the holiday season. 

This is not to say that your conversations about literature and art were limited to your in-person time. In fact, most of your correspondence was about the books you were reading or the galleries you had gone to. Ben could spend pages and pages talking about a particular part of a painting, the way the artist had captured the way light filtered through the trees. And you loved every bit of it, engaging in your usual discussions. In a way, if you ignored how much you missed him, it was lovely to have a physical representation of your friendship. 

However, you would soon stop being constrained to receiving correspondence from Ben every few days, and you could simply knock on his door if you were particularly interested in talking about an aspect of your book. Your time at Aubrey Hall had become your favorite time of year, three weeks of daily interactions with your best friend being the absolute best birthday present you could've ever asked for. 

But this year was different. This was the last time you would have to say goodbye at the end of the holidays, seeing as Benedict was graduating in the spring and returning from Oxford permanently. To say you were over the moon was an understatement. You could barely wait to spend hours in his studio watching him paint again or reading aloud to him under the shade of the tree in your backyard on particularly warm days. 

---

August 12, 1799 - Y/I, I thought you would like this one. Yours, B

Bypassing Alex and Anthony having a heated debate about who was better at billiards, Benedict headed straight in your direction across the garden, ignoring Daphne, Colin, Theo, and Bastian, who had been playing some team game that devolved into an argument. Benedict patted your head as he came by to sit beside you on the grass, momentarily drawing your attention away from the massive book on your lap.

Grabbing the book from your lap and transferring it to his own, he asked, "So, what do you think?"

You let out an excited squeal, shaking Benedict's nearest arm with both hands. "It's amazing, Ben! An entire book about flowers, who knew? I've spent hours looking at it already, and I'm not even halfway through! It's got so much information I could die. It's incredible. Thank you so much." Though it was left unsaid, Ben knew these were hours you would have otherwise spent alone. The twins were especially adamant about not having you play with them, and Alex and Anthony were too caught up in their never-ending competitions to pay any attention to you. With your mother and his being occupied with the toddlers, Francesca, Cass, and Eloise, who had only just begun to walk and talk, you and Ben were truly the only odd ones out. But it was no bother to him. He loved when you read aloud to him, and you would happily listen to him talk about his sketches for hours on end, something he could not say about any other member of the Bridgerton-Beaumont cohort. 

Ben could only laugh fondly at your excitement, internally very proud that he had found a book you really enjoyed. "It's called an encyclopedia. There are loads of them about just about anything and everything in the world," he told you, leafing through the book himself. Gently pushing the book back in your direction, he prodded, "Well, go on then. Show me your favorite flowers so far." 

Grabbing the book, you hastily turned the pages until you reached the flowers, starting with the letter 'd.' Standing up, you rushed to the nearest corner of the garden and dug around for a few seconds, coming back with a bunch of small white flowers clutched in your small hands. 

Ben let out a short laugh, but you quickly shushed him, whining, "Stop it! It'll make sense in a second, I promise."

"I didn't say anything!" responded Ben defensively, putting his hands up in the air but unable to conceal the smile you had elicited from him. 

"Okay. Look at the page. The daisies. They're also called Bellis perennis, but that's in Latin. We have them here in the garden! Isn't that lovely?" you said excitedly, placing the flowers beside Ben.

"Oh, that is quite nice, Y/N," he responded, picking one of the daisies up and placing it behind your ear, eliciting a bright smile from you. "Did you know that a Violet is a type of flower? And so is a Primrose."

"You mean both our mums have flower names? That's so fun. I wish everyone could have a flower name," you responded, excited to have learned new information. 

"You could always give your daughters flower names," Ben suggested, enjoying the pure joy you were getting out of this.

"Well, before I have daughters, I would have to get married. And I don't want to do that! I just want to keep reading books. I want to read every single encyclopedia in the world!" you exclaimed, reaching your arms as high as they could go. 

Ben laughed, highly amused by your antics. "Just like me, then. Except instead of reading it's painting," he responded as he laid down fully on the grass, looking up at the sky and feeling particularly thankful that someone understood how he felt. On the other hand, you took the opportunity to dump all of the flowers you had picked onto his torso, arranging and rearranging them into different designs. He could only laugh, not at all bothered that his shirt would surely be dirty now, just happy to watch you enjoy yourself. 

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, you spoke up as you tried unsuccessfully to stack the flowers on top of each other. "That's perfect, then. We can get married, I can read, and you can paint, and we can have a daughter and give her a flower name."

"That sounds wonderful! I'm glad that's sorted," he laughed, lifting his head to find you flashing a toothy grin. "D'you like the name Daisy for our daughter, then?"

"That's lovely! And you can paint her a painting of a daisy for her room!" you responded eagerly. Benedict hummed in assent, busy imagining the dynamics of a blissful imaginary marriage. 

---

January 3, 1810 - Y/I, Happiest of birthdays, darling. Come downstairs, where I have a proper gift and card waiting for you. Yours, B

As you came downstairs, you already feared the fate that awaited you. Every year, your birthday would begin with a very extreme and frankly excessive snowball fight involving all the Bridgerton-Beaumont children. You could trust no one. Alliances would easily crumble under pressure, and people were just as likely to betray their siblings as they would someone from the other family. You and Benedict, ordinarily inseparable, could become sworn enemies in the span of two snowballs. You couldn't even trust sweet Hyacinth, only seven years old, to be loyal to any team, seeing as she was an outstanding double agent, a lesson you had all learned the hard way. It was absolute chaos, and you loved every second of it. It didn't matter how old you were; this was always the best part of your birthday.

As soon as you stepped outside, a snowball the size of your fist hit your right shoulder. Slowly turning toward the perpetrator, you narrowed your eyes once you saw it was Gregory, who had helped you defeat Bastian and Francesca in one fell swoop last year. Clearly, that alliance was gone, and you would have to find someone else to rely on this year. 

Since it was your birthday, the fight officially started when you threw the first snowball, and this year, you chose to throw it at Cassandra, your own sister, who had annoyed you at dinner yesterday by incessantly flinging peas at you. Once the tightly packed ball left your hand, all hell broke loose. You were hit in the stomach and leg simultaneously as you fired snowballs in every direction you could, laughing as you did. 

You briefly ducked behind a tree trunk, needing a moment to breathe. You took advantage of the fact that you weren't a target to form a massive snowball. You carefully stepped away from behind the trunk, checking that the coast was clear. Without a second thought, you flung the snowball as hard as you could in the direction of the person closest to you. 

Unfortunately, it hit Benedict straight in the face, blinding him for a few moments. Your mouth hung open, trying not to laugh because you knew you had packed quite a bit of force into your throw. You ran to Ben's side, apologizing as much as possible without bursting into laughter. He cleared the snow from his eyes and turned to you slowly, an evil grin forming on his face. 

"I believe you have just declared war, Miss Beaumont," he said finally. 

You screamed and ran in the opposite direction, knowing he would be absolutely merciless. You couldn't even look back, not wanting to slow down. After a few seconds of frantic sprinting, you felt Ben tackling you onto a massive pile of snow. Both of you were laughing hysterically while trying to catch your breath. He turned you over so you were lying down side by side, both of you panting heavily, looking up at the winter sky. 

"I miss you," you said finally, turning your head toward him, only to find that he was already looking at you. He pulled you closer, wrapping both arms around you tightly before he helped you up and brushed the snow off of your coat. 

"I know. I miss you, too. But it'll only be like this for a short while longer, and then you can come round every day and read to me while I paint, yeah?" he said, lifting your chin to look at him. 

Your breath caught in your throat, and you felt your heartbeat quicken, his brown eyes not letting yours go. Your eyes flickered to his mouth briefly, your lips parting slightly. Looking back at his eyes, you saw something flash in them that you couldn't quite parse, an expression you hadn't seen before. Finally, you nodded, letting him pull you into him and kiss your forehead, enjoying the warmth and comfort you felt as you were wrapped tightly in his arms.

---

September 17, 1805 - Y/I, I can't believe you had a book about the exact artist I was talking about! I'll pop by yours later to say a proper thank you. Yours, B

Benedict walked into your sitting room, sprawling on the couch before you with his arm behind his head, silently waiting for you to look up from your book. But you had just gotten to an exciting part, and your eyes remained glued to the page, ignoring your best friend's attempt to get your attention. 

You heard him huff and muttered a soft "Just a second, Ben" as your eyes raced across the page, eager to know what happened next. In response, he slid further down the couch and crossed his arms, eliciting a laugh from you and finally drawing you away from your book. 

"You were barely waiting ten seconds, Benedict!" you exclaimed, secretly pleased he was so eager to see you. He was leaving for Oxford in a few weeks, and although you were trying not to think about the reality of him going, you were acutely aware that you would soon be unable to see him every day.

He rolled his eyes good-naturedly, responding with a teasing, "It felt like ten years!" 

In recent months, the two of you had become inseparable. Your days were spent reading next to him as he painted, listening to him talk about his most recent artworks, or going for nature walks if you found yourself in Aubrey Hall. Anything to keep him close by before he left for Oxford, you reasoned. Though you couldn't help the growing affection, you were feeling, finding it impossible to look away when he tousled his hair just so and being a bit too pleased every time he complimented you. Every handsome smile or cheeky wink he sent your way lit you up inside, melting your heart just a little bit.

The problem was, and of course, there was a problem, that Benedict was always like this. Nothing about his demeanor had changed; your friendship was still the same as it had always been. Except now you found yourself spending a little too much time in the mornings making sure your hair looked good in case he popped by unannounced. Regardless, you knew Ben did not reciprocate your affections, so you tried to ignore these feelings as best as you could, folding them up very small and tucking them neatly in the corner of your heart for later examination.

Now, you found yourself on a couch against a wall of Benedict's studio, reading Romeo and Juliet as he was quietly sketching. This was quite possibly your favorite thing to do. Spend quiet afternoons together, reading and painting, enjoying each other's company. You took a moment to look at him as he scrunched his nose, unhappy with a certain aspect of the sketch. 

He sighed and looked up at you, nodding toward your book. "What has Shakespeare got to say today?"

"That marriage is a death sentence," you replied, voice deadpan. 

Ben burst into laughter. "Oh, come off it. It can't be that bad in real life. That's only a play! Besides, you've still got a while before you have to think about that," he tried to reason with you.

"Well, maybe. But it just sounds so unappealing. I want to do this. What we're doing now. I want to keep doing it. I don't want to be a wife! I just want to read and study," you argued. 

Benedict stood up, coming to sit beside you and placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. "I know, darling. I'm sorry," but he knew you had more to say.

You groaned, pushing your forehead into his shoulder. "I just don't think I'll ever be happy if I'm forced to marry. And I most likely will be, knowing my mother. She'd rather die than have one of her daughters turn into a spinster," you huffed, missing the sympathetic look you got from Ben. "And who will my husband be? A clueless man with no interest in me beyond my ability to be a good wife? I cannot imagine a worse fate."

---

May 8, 1810 - Y/I, I'll keep this one short, seeing how I'll be properly back in a few days! I've been quite busy with graduation, but I'm excited to come home. Yours, B

You smiled as you placed the last letter you had received from Benedict back in your box. The collection was complete. Three years of correspondence between the two of you finally come to an end. You carefully closed the box and returned downstairs, where a big family gathering was occurring in the garden. 

As soon as you stepped outside, Ben was at your side, chatting your ear off about one thing or another. He had barely left you alone since he had been back, granting you only a few minutes to yourself, but you couldn't complain. You wrapped an arm around his torso as you walked back to the garden table. 

"Oh, you look so darling!" cried Violet, cooing at the two of you. 

"You're proper adults now! Both of you! How the time has passed," your mother added, reaching out to hold Violet's hand. 

Benedict could only smile, too happy to be back at your side to focus on anything else. He had missed you loads while he was at Oxford, but having your arm around him now, he realized just how much he needed you. Ben placed a soft kiss on the top of your head, unable to help himself as you sat down at the table. He sat right next to you, taking one of your hands into his own so he could play with your fingers as you chatted with Primrose and Violet. 

Oxford had been a riot, to be sure, but he was so glad to come home to you.

—

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Tag List (lmk if you want to be added!): @bellahadidnt16 @like-gabriel-and-castiel @riverraingrayworld @5sos-calm @elissanatok @titanicnerd-blog @noonenuts @moonwayne @lilasblogg @mmontgomeryb @fulltacoparadise @joyfullymulti

[papermatisse]

the ultimatum || J.WW

♗ pairing: jeon wonwoo x f!reader

♗ genre: angst

♗ word count: 6.3k

♗ warnings: argument, break up, family problems, depression, overthinking, uhh

♗ synopsis: wonwoo is living a peaceful and happy mundane life with his partner, though outside forces and responsibilities prompt wonwoo to make a tough decision.

♗ (a/n): hello :) I have written smth :) this is for this request that I got in october and I've only just now gotten to writing it bc I finished my semester finally :)) thank you anon for your unrelenting patience I am so so so sorry for taking this long to write this. I v much so appreciate your understanding and your leniency on me 😭🙏❤️

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It was silent. Nothing but the low hum of his radiator whirring somewhere in the background, serving as the sole ambience to fill the dreadful, awful silence that plagued the dingey, rundown apartment. He sat on his couch, the rough material scratching along the back of his neck as he looked up at the ceiling with this dazed, thousand mile stare. The haze of delirium had haunted him for days now, at first merely muddling his thoughts into this droning ambiguity that left him empty and monotonous. Though soon it seeped into the outer edges of his character, skin paling like death, lips settled into a permanent scowl, eyes clouded with no emotion—or perhaps that look was him drowning and wrought with every emotion his feeble mind could conjure up.

There were specks of happiness dabbled in the disordered web of thoughts in his mind. They derived from the lot of memories in the archives of his head, playing on repeat and reminding him of better days.

When he first met (y/n), bemused by the sight of this girl dressed to the nines yet soaked to the bone. A flimsy jacket, just as drenched as she, lay helplessly above her head as a makeshift and utterly unsuccessful umbrella of sorts from the storm raging outside. He watched her carefully, glancing every so often as he wiped away at the counter. She at first stood there, taking in her surroundings with what seemed to be a mixture of confusion and awe. Though soon, she seemed to catch her bearings as she navigated over to his bar, carefully sliding onto a booth as if it were an entirely new contraption to her.

"What's your poison?" He asked her as he made his way to her side. The sound of his voice had startled her greatly, as she near jumped out of her seat, head whirling to face the sudden addition to her solitude.

"I'm sorry?" She replied. Her own voice was far too soft for a bar setting, though he was thankfully able to catch on to her and the utterly hopeless stare she gave him. With a soft chuckle, he leant over the bar, drawing as close as he could to her without invading her space.

"What drink can I get you?"

She was quiet at first with this stunned expression, blinking at him in a stupor. Quickly shaking her head, she averted her gaze to the countertop.

"I'll just have water please."

A simple request, though he couldn't really argue, merely filling a glass with water and sliding it over.

"Can I at least get you a lemon to top off your beverage?"

"Sure," She replied, a small smile spreading across her face at his inquiry, and he felt just the slightest bit accomplished in his duties as a bartender.

Again, he watched her carefully as he continued with work and as she nursed the drink before her. She had finally shed the useless article of clothing from her head, placing it in her lap with a defeated sigh. She really was quite overdressed for a bar setting, wearing a designer dress suited more for a business meeting than for day drinking. It only served to further pique his curiosity, and as the time passed by and the rain outside refused to let, he saw his moment to answer his questions.

"So what brings you to this fine establishment? Aside from the obviously satisfying atmosphere." He smiled to himself as she chuckled at his mannerisms.

"As much as I love this fine establishment so far," she began, widening his smile at her own jests, "it was the first place I could run into when the rains started." He hummed, still looking at her with unwavering eyes, and she attempted to meet his strong gaze, though faltered at the end. With a sigh, she continued, falling under the silent peer pressure of his eyes urging her to continue. "I attended a meeting for my dad. It didn't really agree with me, so I left. Before I could catch a ride home, it started raining, so I ran here."

"Sounds like a pretty rough day." She agreed with a nod, fingers absentmindedly tracing over the condensation clinging to her glass. He could see she was trying to shrink away from his presence, though he was never one to back down. "How about I give you a ride home?"

"Pardon?"

"My shift's just about to end now. I'd hate to leave you here knowing you're trapped 'cause of the rain." She looked at him again with that same stunned appearance as she had when he first made his presence known to her. Sparkling eyes with this dazed nature to them, as if not fully there at the moment—entrenched in her thoughts with nowhere else to direct her attention. The realization brought another grin to his face, and he waited expectantly for her answer to arrive.

"I don't even know your name, though." Her words were laced with hesitancy, as if not even she was fully committed to the concluding limitations she had made of his offer. Because he knew it was a good deal for her, and for him, as a part of him truly didn't feel right leaving her all alone without knowing for a fact that she was safe at home.

"Wonwoo." He replied easily, sliding his hand over to her. Her eyes had watched the movement, lingering on him for a moment more, before she slid her own hand into his in a subtle, noncommittal handshake. "I can't take a stranger in my car though. What's your name?"

Another chuckle out of her, and another boost to Wonwoo's ego for the day.

"(y/n)."

It was out of character for him, as he usually pays no mind to drifters of any sort, though he can't find it in himself to ever regret having stepped out of his comfort zone to bring a smile to her face that day. And what had started as a mere happenstance crossing of paths had soon morphed into frequent visits with (y/n) wandering into the bar and waiting for Wonwoo to serve her a drink before taking her home.

It was near inevitable for the two to grow feelings for one another, and soon blossom a relationship.

Wonwoo felt the corners of his lips twitch up just the slightest bit, remembering how nervous (y/n) had been to ask him out one of the days he dropped her off home. The memory of how she avoided his gaze, fiddled with her hoodie, stumbled over her words, and all he did was sit there and wait patiently, heart bursting at the seams at the sight of her trying to profess her love in some meaningful way on a random Tuesday evening.

It had all been so heavenly at the start. His apartment was small and old, yet she brought this vitality to it that made him feel more alive everyday. The kitchen which once was strictly for sustaining his nutrients now became a haven where the two cooked anything and everything together. The living room which was once merely a middle ground for him to pass the time by with nothing better to do was now where they spent their days watching movies and talking to each other endlessly. The bedroom where he once fell asleep and woke up as is became his sanctuary, where he could fall asleep and wake up to the sight of her right beside him.

Though now as he recounted these memories, that happiness in him soon twinged into a bittersweet sadness, wincing at the reminder of when it had all started going wrong.

Wonwoo had become well aware of (y/n)'s background in living a comfortable life with her family's old money. How could he not with how flippant she seemed to be with her finances. He had been initially concerned with the steady stream of money she tossed away at things he'd deem inconvenient or unnecessary, though it all started to make sense in due time. The way (y/n) went about life with such little worries, at times even seeming naive in Wonwoo's eyes. Though it never bothered him. He was always glad to be there for her. To help her in things she didn't understand, be the helping hand as she experienced many firsts in the world, and he could tell she was just as happy to have him by her side helping. A mutualistic relationship, in which both parties thrived in each other's differences.

At that point was when Wonwoo knew he was in love, and he hadn't hesitated in telling (y/n) that on a random night where they debated what to watch and wound up deciding on perhaps the worst B-movie they've ever seen. Through their fits of laughter, tears in their eyes and stomachs sore, Wonwoo took a moment to admire (y/n) as she was. Freshly showered and smelling of his body wash, adorned in his old raggedy clothes, bright eyed and smiley, absolutely jubilant in his arms. It was an undeniable fact. Something he couldn't refute, nor anyone else for that matter.

“I love you.”

(y/n) had glanced up at him, laughter slowly dying down, though her smile remained in place, only growing by the second as she processed his words.

“Really?” He nodded, lips tugging up at her infectious giggles bubbling up as she nestled closer to him. “I love you, too.”

It had only taken a few weeks after their confession for her to deem it acceptable to introduce him to her family, which is how Wonwoo found himself at the doorstep of an imposingly large manor, adorned with his old button up that had been tossed in the back of his closet, and a bouquet of flowers in hand.

The mother was the first to greet them as they entered the house, appreciatively accepting Wonwoo's floral offering. Next had been her grandmother, who had been absolutely floored by Wonwoo’s looks, praising the Lord above for her granddaughter having found such a good looking man.

Then he met her father. A man who seemed to be the epitome of stoicism. A permanent scowl was etched into the aged lines on his face, and every advance on Wonwoo’s part was greeted by a cold glare and an indifferent grunt. None of the others were in any way taken aback by his mannerisms, however, and so Wonwoo could only assume this was just how his character was.

Some days had passed since the initial meet and greet, and Wonwoo found himself being unexpectedly invited once more to the manor by none other than the man of the house. How he had obtained his number was beyond him, but upon the request of a one on one session between the two, Wonwoo couldn't really care less about the ordeal of his privacy, merely relieved at the possibility that he hadn't completely ruined his reputation with his significant other's father.

Or so he was led to believe.

“I'm sorry?” Wonwoo spoke, voice low and barely above a whisper, yet strained as he attempted to piece together the sudden turn of events without outright creating a potentially unnecessary fiasco in this man’s office.

“I want you to break up with my daughter.”

Okay, so he hadn't heard wrong. He truly was just given the demand to break up with his girlfriend for seemingly no reason. Shocked couldn't even begin to explain the emotions swirling in his head, mouth agape as he attempted to make any semblance of the situation at hand.

The man remained seated across from him, briefly returning to his documents as if Wonwoo’s presence alone was nothing more than a hindrance to his schedule. Merely a minor detour in his work flow that didn't deserve even his full attention.

Gritting his teeth, Wonwoo summoned every ounce of strength within him in order to maintain his calm facade, pressing on with as steady a time as he could muster.

“May I ask for what reason you've sprung this upon me?” The older man paused to look at Wonwoo, giving him an unimpressed once over before returning to his work.

“Mr. Jeon, you seem to be a very good man. Strong, capable, good looking. You're practically everything a father wants for his daughter. Just not my daughter.”

To say he was taken aback would be the understatement of the year, because Wonwoo found himself practically reeling whilst trying to gather his thoughts and make sense of the situation. He felt his eye twitch momentarily, fists clenching by his side as he allowed the man to proceed with whatever motives he had in summoning Wonwoo in the first place.

“My daughter is scatterbrained as is. The last thing she needs is financial struggles to add to her carefree thought process.”

“I'm not rich enough for you?” Wonwoo spat out, venom laced in his tone. His head quirked to the side, a sharp glare directed at the man, challenging him to press on with his offense. Yet the man seemed unaffected by Wonwoo’s clear disdain, merely huffing an amused sigh as he continued.

“Don't take it to heart, kid. You'll understand when you have your own daughter in the future.” Wonwoo watched as he stood from his seat, rounding his desk to be face to face with him. “You know (y/n) as well as I do. She's not built for the harsh world out there.”

“You want to keep her sheltered in your little fantasy world? Coddle her until you're on your deathbed?”

“The world's less harsh for our kind.”

Wonwoo felt his blood boil, though remained as is. Jaw clenched, eyes narrowed, staring daggers into the man and his blatant ignorance.

“She's a grown woman,” Wonwoo began, voice low because he feared any alternative would involve shouting. “A grown woman capable of making her own decisions. Falling in love with whoever she wants to. Dealing with her own struggles without her father hovering over her.”

“She'll get just that if she stays with the likes of you.”

At this, Wonwoo found his composure faltering, brows furrowed in concentration, attempting to piece together what the man could possibly be insinuating. Judging from the prior turns of their conversation thus far, Wonwoo could only imagine the lengths this man would go to rid his life of Wonwoo’s presence.

A sly smile crossed the face of the man. Perhaps the first expression outside that of his permanent scowl. Wonwoo felt immediate discomfort from the sight, at the apathy emanating from beyond the man’s eyes. This cold, resolute stare that seemed near sociopathic almost.

“What are you insinuating?”

“If my daughter is to remain with the likes of you, a certified liability upon her, then I'd have no choice but to cut her off entirely.” Wonwoo felt his heart drop at the monotonous words coming out of this man's mouth, uncaring as if it were nothing more than a business transaction. “Cut off her finances, her access to my estate. Even her relations with myself and my family.” Wonwoo attempted to meet the hard and calculative stare trained on him, but his resolve was beginning to crumble with every new thing spoken. “You wouldn't want to be the cause of (y/n) being disowned, now would you?”

No, he wouldn't. It was a shitty ultimatum. Break up with my daughter or she'll be completely removed from her family. It was downright psychotic behavior. Something which shook Wonwoo to his core. He had only ever seen this type of character in fiction. Someone this unmoving, completely devoid of empathy. His thoughts and concerns only revolved around himself, only ever using the facade of concern for his daughter. Though in actuality, it had become perfectly clear to Wonwoo that the man only cared about his own personal image which would be impacted by his daughter's unworthy match.

He wanted to leave immediately. He wanted to actively punch the man before leaving this accursed manor. He wanted to whisk (y/n) away from the pitiful excuse of a father trying adamantly to control her every waking moment. He wanted to run away with her, live their own life without the crushing weight of societal expectations dampening the tranquility of their relationship. He wanted to return home where (y/n) would be waiting for him, safe from the outside world in the sanctity of their four walls. He wanted to make her laugh until her head was tipped back and her sides ached. He wanted to comfort her when times got too tough for her to manage on her own. He wanted to be the one to embrace all of the love she had to offer. He wanted to be her first and her last in everything.

Though he couldn't bear the guilt of having forced this ultimatum upon her. He didn't want to tarnish the image of her family because of the tyrant claiming to be her father. He didn't want to have her choose between her family or her significant other. The mere image of (y/n)’s agony wreaked havoc upon his poor battered heart. Images of when he first met (y/n), walking into the bar like a confused, wet puppy flitted through his memories, and he couldn't handle bearing witness to it once more.

That day, he left the manor without another word and without another glance behind him. He couldn't recall much of what happened following his departure, though sooner rather than later, he found himself walking into his apartment once more. His mind felt frenzied with thoughts and concerns, calculating his options and reevaluating his morals. Yet in a conflicting sense, he felt absolutely empty. Numb to the outside world, barely conscious enough to even discern how much time had passed since he had returned home.

By the time he had come to, he hadn't come to a decision. Or perhaps he just hadn't come to a decision he liked. There was a logical answer, one that took into consideration everyone's circumstances, one that accounted the world and the way it functions outside his own life. And then there was his selfish answer. The one that accounted for all of these factors, yet ignored them nevertheless in lieu of his own desires. The one that resulted in his own happiness, though at the cost of everybody else's.

It felt like an internal strife was dismantling the very foundation of his life, eating away at him until he was nothing left. A vessel devoid of its soul, wading listlessly in the universe, awaiting for, dreading the moment he'll have to make his choice. Or more correctly, make the only feasible choice in the matter. Because no matter how desperate he wants (y/n) in his life, and no matter how heinous of a being her father is, the guilt of the matter which derived from the conditions forced upon him overrode that of anything else. He couldn't possibly revoke (y/n)’s entire life, everything she's ever been accustomed to, merely for his own selfishness. He knew this was exactly what her father hoped for. Exploiting the way Wonwoo cared for (y/n) with every fiber of his being. And as much as Wonwoo wanted to deny it, his plan worked.

The sound of his door unlocking was what managed to jostle Wonwoo from his stupor, albeit only a microscopic amount, though enough for him to blink away his delirium and look up just as (y/n) came walking into the room, bright smile on display the moment her eyes landed upon the man seated on the couch.

“Wonwoo!” The jubilance in her voice managed to soothe the turmoil wrought in his heart, a wry smile curling at the corners of his lips. From where he sat, he watched as she mosied about the apartment as naturally as one breathes. Toeing off her shoes, tossing her things onto the counter, raiding the fridge for whatever beverage she can find to cool off. All the while, she rambled endlessly of her day, from the very beginning when she woke up to the traffic on her way to work, the new place her and her friends visited for lunch, anything to fill the void that usually enshrouds Wonwoo's apartment. And his smile grew more and more fond, impossible to even deny for a moment how happy he was in her presence. It was how they always worked. What he was, she was the opposite. In the silence Wonwoo had grown accustomed to, resided for most of his life, she offered that peaceful white noise to settle his nerves and quell his rampant thoughts. “You're awfully quiet today. Is everything alright?”

(y/n) had made her way to the living room, collapsing on the couch beside him, naturally nestling against his side. All the while, her soft eyes remained on him, never pushing him to talk, though assuring him he was always free to. The clarity of her emotions and the way she expressed them to him was always something he admired, and meeting those loving eyes for perhaps the last time finally broke his resolve.

“It's nothing, really.” He quickly turned away, not wanting her to see the way his eyes glossed over with unshed tears.

“Well, obviously it's something if it's got you like this.” Her voice was low, just above a whisper, preserving the still of the atmosphere set around them. The hum of the radiator filled the room, providing that subtle medium for Wonwoo to concentrate on and avoid the spiraling thoughts swirling in his head. Beside him, he could feel (y/n)’s gentle touch on his hand, thumb lightly brushing against his knuckles. He loved the way she treated him so tenderly, taking her time and speaking lightly, touches sweet and demure no matter how imposing he may seem to others. The thought of tarnishing this tranquility, destroying the relationship they both worked so hard to build up, killed Wonwoo inside.

His heart ached as he sat there, seconds ticking by, battling himself every step of the way. (y/n)’s persistent patience didn't help his cause in any way. Her presence which usually served as an anchor weighing him down to earth now felt like a damning weight upon his shoulders. The arrangement forced upon him by her father revolved around his thoughts, an ever recurring reminder that he can't preserve this. He can't keep this happiness anymore. He can't have (y/n) any longer.

“I…” His voice trembled, cracking through the gravely undertone from his silence that day. He hesitantly turned his head to face her, though couldn't find it in himself to look up at her.

He was a coward, he knew this. Everything in this situation only further proved this revelation of his. He was a coward, and even if he did choose the selfish route in this predicament, in what world did he even deserve (y/n) in the first place?

He gulped, breath shaky as he finally dared a glance her way. As always, the (y/n) before him was as lovely as ever. Eyes remaining on him, an edge of concern in her furrowed brows. Her hand in his continued to soothingly stroke his skin, comforting him for as long as he needed. Averting his eyes once more, he felt his body tremble with wrought emotion, knowing what was to come, yet attempting to delay it.

He truly didn't deserve (y/n).

“I think we should break up,” he finally spoke, voice weak, forced out in a broken whisper.

Silence settled over them, the radiator persisting with its low hum, yet this time, it couldn't mask the heavy tension slowly accumulating in the room. Wonwoo’s body seemed to vibrate with the effort exerted in detaining himself, preventing him from retracting his words, reaching out to (y/n) and apologizing for ever even amusing such an outlandish idea. But he remained as is, nervously scratching at the rough material of his jean clad legs, torturously waiting for a response from (y/n).

The silence he met was perhaps the most harrowing response he could've received, not having the slightest clue of what could be going through her head, especially since his eyes refused to stray her way. Though he could feel her gaze upon him, and it killed him inside. Completely and utterly at a loss for himself with only the fleeting strength he'd managed to scrape up to preserve the facade of monotony across his countenance.

“Break up?” She asked, the only words she could muster with his sudden proposition. Her voice was once more soft, though instead of the comforting lull it usually carried, it seemed weak almost. Barely able to slip past her lips, barely loud enough for Wonwoo himself to hear. His heart clenched upon itself at the sound of those words coming from her, as if a taboo phrase never meant to be uttered by either of them. And the realization that the two have both broken that unspoken promise made the situation all the more real. “Why?”

Why?

It was a simple question. Inevitable, even. But somehow it threw Wonwoo for a loop. He couldn't just outright expose her family for what they were, more specifically that of her father. It wasn't his place. And he wouldn't dare place that burden upon her. It was why he was deciding to break up with her now. He just couldn't say that to her directly…

“I…” He paused to clear his throat, averting his gaze to his lap now, perhaps his one safe haven in a room which reminded him of (y/n) far too much.

Every memory they ever made together. Where they first said I love you, where they shared countless meals together, where she'd fall asleep unknowingly in his arms and heal his soul with her presence alone. Every hug and every kiss, every loving word and tender touch. Their milestones, their fights, their heart to hearts. Every aspect of their relationship is imprinted upon the aspects of his apartment, like a time capsule commemorating the moments they shared together.

“I don't think… we're a good match…”

“Why?” This why came much faster than the previous one, and Wonwoo found himself momentarily floundering upon the realization that this would result in a back and forth with which he'd have to give her a proper reason for giving up on their relationship.

“I don't want to hold you back.”

“Hold me back?” She questioned. “Where would you have gotten that assumption from? In what ways are you holding me back?”

At the sound of her frustrated tone, Wonwoo gave in and finally met her gaze. Though her voice wavered with restrained disappointment, her eyes betrayed her motive, watering as she finally met Wonwoo's own conflicted stare.

“I mean… You're you… and I'm me. You have your life and I have mine. And I don't…” He paused once more, swallowing down the lump in his throat to continue. “You have your friends, your family, and—”

“My family?” She asked, drowning in confusion at his utterance. “What about my family? Did something happen?”

Wonwoo sat there for a moment, panic broiling within him. An opportunity presenting itself. His final chance to back out.

Either he confesses to everything. Tells her how her father pulled him aside on purpose so he would be the one to decide, in order to save face with his own daughter. Tells her how she would be forced to start anew in life if she were to stay with him. Cut off from everything she'd ever known in life. Money, family, businesses, properties. All of it no longer at her disposal. Merely as a consequence for choosing him at the end of the day.

Or he continues with his initial goal in mind. Revoking her right to decide merely because it was too tasking of a decision to make for him, let alone for her. Force her to live in blissful ignorance alongside her family, abandon Wonwoo and the life they built together, allow her to continue with the way of life she'd grown so accustomed to.

Could she handle the pressures of starting adulthood from scratch? With her only resources being Wonwoo and whatever he was capable of giving to her? Could she handle the debilitating trauma of being disowned and banished by the people who raised her? Merely to stay with him? Was he even worth such a grand decision?

Perhaps deep down, Wonwoo actually feared what her answer would be. Because there was always a high probability she'd choose her family and her comfortable life over him and their relationship. Perhaps that's why he felt the need to make the decision on his own. Perhaps that's why he chose to punish himself rather than to let her do it for him. Perhaps that's why he suddenly found himself spewing whatever nonsense his jumbled mind could conjure to complete this objective.

“This has nothing to do with your family.” (y/n) quieted down at the sudden resolve in Wonwoo’s tone, and Wonwoo himself was shocked to find how steady his voice had become in a mere few seconds passed. “It has everything to do with the fact that we are just not compatible.”

“Not compatible…” (y/n) repeated in awe, words mumbled as she attempted to process what he said to her.

“You come from an affluent background, so it was already a given we'd find differences in the way we perceived the world and engage in it. Your terms of spending and saving differ vastly to my own. Though you may seem indifferent to the way I live my life, I am not in regards to your own.” His words sounded almost rehearsed with the way he spoke in such a steady and monotonous manner. One brief glance towards (y/n) only served to validate his own observations of himself, and he quickly averted his gaze once more lest the unbridled emotion enshrouding her eyes tempt him into retreat. “With the obvious aside, I find myself struggling to find meaning in this relationship that we've somehow stumbled our way into.” He paused to gather his bearings, taking as discrete an inhale as he could to try and quell the nerves firing within him. “I find you clingy in that you've occupied my apartment for weeks at a time and have essentially weaseled your way into my living space. I think you're immature in the way you spend your money, but also shameless as you also attempt to monitor my own finances. You're sheltered and you don't understand the real world, including my own and all those around us. You—”

A swift slap across his face halted Wonwoo from proceeding. It hadn't hurt him in any physical way, merely resulting in the combination of silencing him, turning his head in another direction, and perhaps a slight sting at most. Though what truly struck at Wonwoo's heartstrings was the sharp gasp that followed the initial impact, and in his peripheral vision he could see (y/n) grasping the hand that had slapped him, as if offended by her own action.

He took the suddenness of the situation to gather himself once more, regaining his composure to the best of his abilities before slowly turning to meet (y/n).

His breath had become shaky upon the sight of her. Tears streaming down her face, hands clamped over her mouth in a feeble attempt to silence the sobs bubbling out of her. Her body trembled with the whirlwind of emotions broiling within her, and Wonwoo could see it all as clear as ever. Shock that she'd ever strike Wonwoo in such a way, never in her wildest dreams had she envisioned inflicting any harm to him. Confusion, seemingly in reference to both the slap that catapulted them into this moment of silence though also to the events which had led up to it. Desperation, as if wanting it all to end, not wanting to experience another moment of this ordeal, hoping it would all end soon, or even better if it would have never even happened in the first place. Though the most overwhelming emotion riddled all through her tear ridden gaze was that of despair. Because no matter how much she reflected upon herself and Wonwoo, no matter how much she prayed that this was all a sick figment of her imagination, there was no denying that what had transpired was in fact very real, and unchanging. Wonwoo said what he said, and as the silence grew longer and longer, it was clear there was no chance of him denying his words.

He inhaled shakily, at this point fully rendering the permanence of this situation, and thus allowing himself to momentarily falter in his stoicism.

“Must I continue?”

The next few seconds felt like a blur. One moment he was staring at (y/n), eyes darting to every feature he could, memorizing the curves and lines of her face, imprinting the image into his mind. Allowing himself to admire her one last time in person, even if the image before him would forever haunt his dreams. Every time he'll think back to her, he'll be met with the cruel reality that he allowed her to leave his side for the final time as a broken, defeated woman. Though perhaps it was what he deserved. To be forever reminded of his transgressions, and to forever reflect on what he's done to the one he loves.

Though this hadn't lasted long, for in the next moment, she was quickly rising from the couch and away from him. He sat still, unmoving as he listened to the raucous behind him. Her grabbing her things from the counter, sliding her shoes back on, and then the opening and closing of the door.

What he hadn't heard was the lock behind her, a telltale sign that the one thing she made sure to leave behind was the extra set of keys he had given to her. And at that point, alone in his apartment with the lone hum of the radiator to accompany him, he allowed himself to finally let go, releasing the broken sobs that he'd tried so desperately to restrain whilst in her presence. His cries wracked through his body, loud and pained with reckless abandon. His body gave up, caving in on himself and collapsing onto the floor, barely even strong enough to catch himself before he had curled into the cold, unforgiving hardwood floor.

Once more, time felt more a construct than ever before, for he hadn't any idea the duration of time he spent there, grieving for what he had lost. The pit in his stomach grew cavernous, churning with the absolute nothingness now occupying his insides. Despair consumed his being, imbibed in every fiber of his person, ensuring there wasn't a single remnant of the joy (y/n) had once instilled into him. Regret coincided with his downfall, memories of what once was now being met with memories of what had just occurred. Images of (y/n) smiling at him collided violently with images of her final mortified expression, alongside the onslaught of tears staining her face that he had been the cause of. Though the one all encompassing emotion that overrode everything else was that of pain. Pain riddled his entire body, clawing away at him, scarring him forever. This overwhelming emotion that burrowed into his soul and demanded his attention. He felt it in his gut, his chest, his head, though it soon bled to every square inch of his body, reminding him that it wouldn't be leaving any time soon.

Days had gone by since the break up, and Wonwoo found himself once more sitting at his couch, staring at his ceiling, listening to the radiator hum away. It was sickening to him how time continued to march by, not sparing him even a moment to recover from the plight he'd gotten himself into. Time continued, and so did life. The mundane routine he had made for himself returned like clockwork. Bartending throughout the week before returning home. Though even if he had lived through life like this for longer than he could recall, the now apparent emptiness of it all lingered tauntingly before him.

The lack of shoes to greet him when he'd return home to toe off his own. The silent kitchen as he cooked for one. The TV had remained off ever since, and instead he spent most of his spare time in front of his monitor playing games in hopes of it distracting him from the loneliness now consuming his life.

This was the first day he actually decided to sit on the couch since. The first day he sat in front of the TV, albeit with the screen still completely black. The first day he allowed himself to try and confront what had happened.

His head lolled to the side where (y/n) last sat, and in his self deluded mind, he could practically see the manifested image of her beside him. The clear image of what she looked like that day still fresh in his mind. Though the longer he recalled, the more he could remember of (y/n).

He could still feel the touch of her lips upon his own, her breath hitting the shell of his ear as she whispered sweet nothings to him, the warmth she'd radiate as she cradled him against her. The memories of her felt not only alive with the surroundings of his apartment where they lived together, but also forever imprinted on his person alone.

Weakly, he pulled himself forward, leant against his knees as he attempted to ground himself back to reality. As sweet and oftentimes bitter the memories were to him, they served no purpose other than tormenting him. He needed to move on first before he could think back fondly at what they once had. Though it was always easier said than done.

His hand swiped down his face, rubbing away the exhaustion from his eyes as he reached for the mail he had haphazardly tossed onto his coffee table.

Flipping through the stack, he was met with his usual itinerary of garbage and junk mail. Though one crisp envelope captured his attention. Unmarked, though from the quality alone, Wonwoo could tell it held some significance to it.

Mindlessly, he tore open the letter and extracted the singular sheet of paper within. An unmarked check, signed by none other than (y/n)’s father with only one remark written on it.

“Thank you for your cooperation.”

♗ (a/n): hello! this was my first request and also my first like pure angst fic! I do feel really bad for having suddenly dropped off the face of the earth for a good two months, so I hope this is okay. I had fun writing! I mostly sat there reflecting on some psychology 101 type of ethics lol.

[mybelovedwoo]

i'm glad i have you with me

bff!san x f!reader

fluff, comfort, childhood best friends to lovers (slow burn) / wc:1.3k

warnings: cheating, crying, swear words, cuddling

note: so tell me how you liked this one. i am a bit nervous because this is my first non-wooyoung fic, but i really enjoyed writing it. please stay tuned in the future for other members' fics too. if you want to be tagged in any of my fics you can apply here <3

san masterlist - main masterlist

Sitting on a couch at a house party all alone with people you don't know, there's literally any other place you would rather be. Originally you came with you're boyfriend Seungjun, but you haven't seen him in hours. You weren't much of a party person, but this time you accompanied him, because he begged you for days for it, but now you are starting to regret it honestly.

You take out your phone from your back pocket, but before you open it, you look around once more to see if your boyfriend pops up somewhere, you are out of luck, so after you unlocked it, the first thing you open is your messages. Your fingers linger over Seungjun's name, but it says he's been unavailable for hours, no shit Sherlock, you think. Instead, you scroll down a bit and open the messages for your best friend, San.

You know well that he probably not gonna answer, because it's Saturday night, and he is most definitely out with his friends too. You don't care, you try it anyway, he is your best chance to rescue you out of this hell. "Hey, San." is the first you send, you're not sure what to write him, you don't want to bother him. "What are you doing?" you wait a few minutes, but he's not responding, his phone is probably on mute. "I'm kinda bored, I don't know where Seungjun went. I need your rescue ㅠㅠ." Nothing, no response. You feel really annoyed at this point, but not because San, poor boy did nothing wrong, it is just a bad moment. "You know what I'm gonna look for Seungjun. Don't worry and have fun." You lock your phone and put it back in your back pocket.

You look around the kitchen, then in the yard, but you don't see him anywhere. You are getting kinda worried that maybe he left you there. At last, you walk up the stairs, the hallway is full of kissing couples, who must have only met tonight. The moment you enter one of the rooms, you regret everything you did until now. Your boyfriend was there with another girl you had never seen before, doing things you never expected him to do with anyone except for you. 

You didn't know what to do in the big shock, but you didn't speak up, maybe they didn't even notice you or just didn't care. But you turned around and hurried down the stairs, unable to control your tears. You just needed some fresh air, you had to get out of this place immediately. You crashed out of the entrance of the house and fell down to the stairs. Sitting there you didn't even think, you were already calling San. This is urgent now.

Your phone didn't even ring for two seconds when they already answered it. "Hey Y/N, is everything okay? I'm sorry my phone was on mute I haven't seen your texts. Have you found Seungjun? Wait, are you crying?" You couldn't even speak, though you wanted to tell him everything. "Y/N please say something! What happened? Are you hurt?" You took three big breaths to calm yourself down enough to talk a few words. "He cheated on me. Could you come to pick me up?" You didn't have to say more. "I've already sat in the car the minute I saw your messages, don't worry. I'll be there soon."

He wasn't lying, he got there in record time. You watched as he pulled up with his car to the driveway of the house. When he gets out of the car, is only when you get up from the stairs you've been sitting on. San rushed towards you at a high speed, so you didn't have time to move even an inch in his way.

"Where is that dickhead?" He asked with blunt words when he got to you. He seemed really angry, maybe even angrier than you, you had never in your life seen him like this before. You shrugged, implying that you don't know and don't care either. But that was not enough for him. "Is he still inside there?" You started to get a little worried.

"I think so. But please don't make a scene, let's just go home." You pulled him through his forearm when he already started walking to the entrance. "Wait for me in the car, okay? I'll be quick, I'm not gonna do anything he doesn't deserve, I swear." He said to you, while he stroked your face with his right hand. You hesitated, but who are you to tell him what to do, so you went up to his car and sat on the passenger side for like five minutes.

At this point you didn't care much about waiting a little longer, that's what you did all night long. San slammed the door behind himself, and somehow he looked even angrier than before. He got in the car next to you and when he looked at you his expression softened. "What did you do?" You asked him with a sobby voice. "I just showed him where he belonged. Let's just say he went swimming." You look down at his hands and you see it's all bruised up.

He started the engine. "San, I don't wanna go home. What if he comes there?" You didn't know what to do, since he had a key to your apartment. You couldn't bare to see his face once more.

"We're going to my place." He didn't even hesitate. You slept at his place many times now, but not since you started dating Seungjun. San was worried when you found out you are going to different colleges, he was afraid that you wouldn't spend as much time together as you used to. But you thought that was nonsense since you have been best friends since you were very little, you grew up together.

He never liked Seungjun, he always said he didn't deserve you. But he was your first boyfriend, and you were blinded with love, at least that's what you thought. Looking back, you also know that he didn't treat you well, but you don't know that when you're in it.

-

Entering San's apartment, all you could think about was that you needed to get some sleep asap. Weariness hit you the moment you got hit by the heat of the comfortable room. You didn't want to bother San with your presence, you don't know what plans he had. 

You've been quite comfortable in here, so you decided to lie down on the couch in the living room. "What are you doing?" Asked San, entering the room with a glass of water in his hand.

"Sleeping. I'm really tired." You mumbled, not able to speak properly.

"You can't sleep here. Go to my room, there is my bed. I'll sleep on the couch." You sat up at his statement. "No, you can't. This is your place." There's no way you letting him sleep out here in the cold living room when he has his own warm bed just a room away. "Let's sleep both in the bed. I think it's big enough for the both of us." You said. It's not like this is the first time you sleep in the same bed, you always fell asleep next to each other when you were little.

"Are you sure?" He hesitated. "We are not so small anymore." The joke made you both laugh, it made his heart clench to see you happy again.

After you took a warm shower, he gave you a big shirt of his and a jogger pant that was definitely too big for you. You got under the cover, San was already there, lying down. He turned off the lamp on the bedside table, which illuminated the whole room until now. 

As soon as it got dark your eyes started watering again, you remember everything that happened today. All of a sudden, you feel a pair of hands slip on your waist. San hugged you tightly from behind. "I got you." He whispered in your ears. He didn't let go of you all night long, you woke up in the same position the next morning.

-

[scarletttries]

Two Weeks Notice (Kendall Roy Request)

Pairing: Kendall Roy (Succession) x F! Reader

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 1.7k

Author's Note: I'm so excited that we'll have new Kendall Succession content soon! Thank you so much for this request, I think being Kendall's trophy wife would be a whole ass job but so worth it 😅 Also writing about leaving a shitty job felt very cathartic as I am going through something similar at the moment, so I am very grateful for this request, obsessed with your description of throwing your feminist card away for this, and apologies for all the projecting!💓

Two Weeks Notice (Kendall Roy Smut)

You were good at your job. Great in fact. No matter what your 1,000-year old boss said when he forgot his password and blamed it on you. No matter how many times you were ahead of schedule on a project and then the deadline got moved. No matter how many times you had to lock yourself in a bathroom stall just to take a few deep breaths alone so you weren't crying at your desk. You were good at your job. But was it worth it?

You'd worked hard to rise through your industry until you started to really see the benefits of being close to the top, but the heavy responsibilities and long nights and constant demands had started taking a toll right around the time you met Kendall. Kendall whose job was somehow even more demanding than yours, and who needed all the support you could offer him every waking moment, clinging to your kindness like it was the first he was ever shown. It was easy to see Kendall was smitten from the first day, never hiding his efforts to spend time with you, showering you with gifts and invitations to be on his arm at what seemed like every major event in the world. It was exhausting balancing late night galas with your job, and trying to be there for Kendall when his family got too much and he needed to retreat to the safe harbour of your arms. You could feel yourself getting more and more worn out as your relationship developed, with Kendall always offering to sit out events for a quiet night in, despite how much you both loved the excuse to don a designer dress and spend the night laughing together, hand locked in his no matter what.

You didn't wake up until a least your third alarm that Monday, the bright light trickling through a gap in the long velvet curtains making you wish you could hide under the duvet forever.

"Is that your alarm babe? You can't seriously have to be up for work already?" Groaned Kendall beside you, reaching out to wrap his arm over your stomach, covered only by a t-shirt he'd loaned you on your first sleepover and never got back, as he silenced the beeping beside you.

"I can lie here for five more minutes and then I've got to get ready." You sighed wearily, setting the deadline for yourself, ignoring the cloud of dread hanging over you at the thought of another day in that awful office.

"Just don't go, you hate it there, and you always come home bummed out afterwards. Just stay in bed with me forever." Kendall argued, rising up on his elbows and shifting until his face hovered an inch from yours, soft smile breaking down your defenses with lightning speed.

"I can't just not go Kendall, it's my job." You sighed, gracing him with a soft kiss before gathering all your strength to drag yourself out from under his slim build.

"You don't need a job gorgeous, especially not a job you don't like. You should quit and then we'd get to spend more time together." You couldn't help but laugh at his suggestion, until you focused on his face again, completely serious about his proposal.

"Kendall I can't just quit and hang out with you all day." You could feel your heart sink at your own words, the option presented to you so much more enticing than the day you had ahead of you. As you moved to sit up Kendall let his weight keep you in place, shaking his head at your attempted escape.

"Hey I still have four minutes left to make my case!" His voice was hoarse first thing in the morning and as his lips fell to yours again you could feel your resolve softening,

"Okay, you can try and convince me." You let your head fall back against the pillow as Kendall shifted his body completely over yours, lips gently marking a journey over your throat as he spoke,

"First, most people have a job to make money, and you don't ever need to worry about money again because we have more than enough together." His kisses trailed down towards your shoulder, feeling the subtle shift of your hips under him as your eyes fluttered shut at the sensation. "Also, I miss you when you're at work, and that's no fun for me." You missed the playful glint in his eye as he spoke, softly landing one hand on your thigh and rubbing small circles across the sensitive skin with his fingertips as they climbed.

"Kendall, I - " You thought about protesting, but his lips cut you off as you spoke, continuing his thoughtful plea,

"Number three, the idiots you work with don't respect you. But I respect every part of you, and every one of your needs." His warm palm pressed into your thigh, shifting your legs apart slightly, smiling with devilish glee as you let him do it. "Working there makes you unhappy, and you should never have to do anything that makes you feel bad. I only ever want you to feel good." You could feel your excitement building with anticipation as his hand slowly climbed towards your centre, body twitching against his as his fingers brushed over the soft fabric of your underwear. Dipping his head to your stomach, his hands tugged at the worn shirt until it was bunched up at your shoulders, your chest exposed for his trailing lips to explore as he spoke,

"We have a lot more fun here than you do at work right?" He asked teasingly as his fingers toyed with the hem of your panties, drinking in your breathy sigh as you nodded and hummed in agreement, lifting your hips to help him remove the barrier stopping him from accessing all of you.

"Good girl," he cooed as his fingers traced over your slit, moving teasingly slowly as his lips peppered your chest with kisses, tongue darting over your nipples until they hardened at his touch.

"You're also way too sexy to have an office job, you should let someone who couldn't just lie in bed naked all day have your job, as like, a public service." You could feel him grin against your skin as he spoke, easing his fingers between your folds and feeling your warm slick welcome him.

"Mmm, see, it's not fair for you to ever leave me here alone when you're clearly made for me to touch." You watched through hooded eyes as he withdrew his fingers slowly and brought them to his lips, "and taste," he added before dropping his hand back to your entrance, pumping his hand between your thighs and feeling your chest rise and fall against his hungry lips.

"Kendall, please." You sighed out at his gentle touch, needing more as frustration began to build in your aching core.

"Final reason, number I lost fucking count because there are so many reasons - I need you too much. I need you every morning, and every night, and every bullshit event, and every good day and every bad day okay? I need you all the time." The burning intensity in his gaze as he spoke had you squirming at his touch, the pounding of your heart echoing in your swimming head as he kissed a path down over your stomach, face hovering just above where you craved him most. His hand stilled against your dripping slit, breath teasingly close to your tingling clit. "So should I stop and let you go to work? Or do you want to stay here with me?" A smug smile spread across his face as you replied, almost begging,

"I'll stay Kendall, please!" Satisfied with your answer his fingers dipped inside you again, faster this time, brushing against your walls as his tongue lapped at your neglected clit, quickly building the pressure inside again.

"You're going to quit your job?" He almost commanded the question, rewarding each nod of your head with a wet kiss on your sensitive bud.

"You're going to let me take care of you?" You could feel the brush of his cheek on your inner thigh as he smiled at the question, your 'yes' coming out as a moan as you felt yourself grow closer and closer to release, the excitement in your core bubbling up to its boiling point.

"You're going to be my gorgeous, loving, trophy wife?" His eyes seemed to sparkle at the word wife, full of warmth and hope with the thought of having you by his side for the rest of his life.

"Yes Kendall!" Your voice caught on his name as your thighs began to shake, his tongue frantically lapping at your clit at the pressure inside you finally snapped, clenching down on his fingers and trembling under him.

"Good girl." He purred as he coaxed every drop of pleasure out of you, fingers working until your soft form finally stilled, hands finding his face and pulling him into a hungry kiss. Wrapping your arms over his neck you pulled him tight against your lips, letting your tongue drink in your own taste, body on fire with sensitivity after your start to the day. Finally you let your brain catch up with the agreement you'd made in exchange for pleasure, interrupting Kendall's eager kisses with a reminder of reality,

"I still have to give two weeks notice." You sighed, laughing as Kendall shook his head vigorously at the suggestion,

"No way, I'll just hire a model to pretend to be you at the office for the next two weeks. Done, problem solved," looking very proud of himself at the suggestion.

"Why a model?" You laughed, realising you weren't getting out of this bed for any reason today if Kendall was getting his way.

"Fuck off, have you seen you?!" He grinned at your flattered smile as you pulled his lips back against yours, only to feel his hands start wandering again, "Actually, I could do with seeing even more of you."

It's safe to say anytime you thought about getting a job outside of supportingt Kendall, he would remind you exactly why you agreed to be his, full-time.

[slayfics]

HEY since u said it was alright to request, I've been thinking about something for a While and i rlly like angst but i dont know if u rlly write that, I've only seen a bit in the muichiros mansion chapters, but i can rarely find the type of mui angst i want but basically its something like mui leaving us or something like that, IDK JS HEARTBREAKING ANGST IG😰😰 bc i love the pain and suffering once i see angst of a character leaving🫶🫶

HAVE A GREAT DAY/NIGHT<333 TYSM

Muichiro breaks up with you.

You felt all the tension you had been caring for day finally release at receiving a crow from Muichiro. Ever since you heard of the upper demons attacking Swordsmith Village where Muichiro was you had not got a minute of sleep.

Finally not only was he safe, but healed as well. You had missed him dearly when he was gone and you felt butterflies in your stomach when you read his letter.

His letter indicated he wanted to talk to you as soon as possible about something extremely important. You made your way over to the usual spot you and Muichiro spent time together. A comfortable spot under a shady tree by the lake.

It filled your heart with joy just knowing you’d be in his company soon. You wanted nothing more than to let him know how dear he really was to you.

It wasn’t that you didn’t know how dangerous being a demon slayer was before, but when hearing he was up against an upper demon reality harshly set in. Any day it was possible that the two of you would be spending your last moments together.

You were beginning to get lost in thought when Muichiro arrived and sat down next you.

“Tokito!” You exclaimed and tightly embraced the Hashira.

“Hello…” he said, remaining still and not returning your affections in any way. This made your heart sink. Was something wrong?

“I’m sorry, I suppose I should have asked how you were healing first,” you said carefully letting go of the Hashira.

“Oh my body is healed… but I’m not quite myself yet,” he said, cryptically.

“Is everything ok? What happened in the village?” You asked hastily, concern overflowing from you.

“Well it appears I’ve recovered all my memories,” Muichiro said gently placing a hand on his head.

“Tokito, that’s wonderful!” You exclaimed with a big grin. However, the Hashira demeanor remained unpleasant.

“Yes and no…” he said, zoning off. You stayed silent hoping for him to elaborate. “The memories I recovered weren’t pleasant ones…”

You searched for comforting words but nothing came to mind other than, “Tokito, I’m so sorry.”

“No you see I am here to apologize,” he said, turning to face you. “What I uncovered has been more than I can process… you see it is a burden all on its own and… I don’t think I can effectively maintain our relationship while I go through this.” He said, watching you carefully.

You felt as though time had stopped. You searched his eyes hoping to see some indication that this was a joke. However, the Hashira’s eyes were as stern as ever. You tried to speak but it felt as though the air had been ripped out of your lungs.

“T-Tokito- I can help,” you muttered, pitifully as tears formed in your eyes.

“I appreciate your concern but you see… this is something I wish to go through on my own.” He said, gently grabbing your hand. “Please do not be sad, you’ve done nothing wrong. You’re a magnificent person. I hope you understand.”

You searched for words but nothing came. What were you supposed to say? If he wanted to be alone then that was the end of the conversation, wasn’t it? You looked down at his hand holding yours and hot anger flashed through you. How dare he touch you while he’s ripping your heart in two. You forcefully pulled your hand back.

Muichiro winced in response. He knew you’d be hurt but seeing it now was too much to handle. He had enough trauma to process and he was already overflowing with pain.

“I respect your decision, but I don’t understand.” You finally spat your anger getting the best of you. “You have a lot to process, that’s fair, but I could have supported you through that. Nothing is easier alone, Tokito.”

“Everyone processes things differently,” he said pleadingly, hoping to help you understand. “Maybe one day when I’m better we can try again.”

Your anger was a burning rage now ready to fully unleash. Did he really think he could hurt you and expect you to forgive him so easily when he was ready to start again?

“You can’t rip my feelings to shreds and just expect me to wait around for you, Tokito. Things don’t always work on your terms.” You said with venom in your voice.

Muichiro took a deep breath, tears now lining his own eyes. “Yes, you’re right. I don’t expect you to wait around. You deserve to be happy and if you find someone else before I’m ready… well, I wish you the best.”

“I wish I could say the same to you,” you said again, even more nasty than the last time.

Your statement seemed to be the last blow Muichiro could take as the tears dropped freely from his eyes. He turned around not wanting to face you anymore. He tried to muster up what he could to say goodbye but the lump in his throat was too much, so he parted his way silently leaving you alone.

Now alone your anger melted into despair as sobs that sounded too strong to be your own escaped you. All this time you were excited to see Muichiro, but you never expected this outcome.

You walked home as sobs still escaped you from time to time. Finally approaching your house you froze in shock at the sight you were met with.

Your estate was covered in origami cranes of varying sizes and shapes. You blinked and rubbed your eyes believing you were imagining them. However, the cranes remained and the longer you looked the more you seemed to see.

You walked up to the door where a letter was hanging that read:

Till we meet again.

-Tokito

You grabbed the letter and held it to your chest tears streaming once more. I hope you didn’t take me seriously Muichiro you thought to yourself. Of course, I’d wait for you, I’d wait lifetimes for you. Please once you’re ready run back to me.

Thank you for the very angsty request! I hope I did it justice and you enjoy~

Tags~

@aeolia18 @yandere-kou @sakurasunkiss @hashiroses @plvuii @snowmist-hashira

[ye4gerism]

𝑨𝑳𝑳 𝑰𝑺 𝑭𝑨𝑰𝑹 𝑰𝑵 𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬 𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝑾𝑨𝑹 - 𝐉𝐄𝐀𝐍 𝐊𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐈𝐍 𝐗 𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 part two!

word count 2.6k

content warning smut (they’re getting IN TO IT)

author’s note guys don’t laugh at me seriously. enjoy the little mature scene you got 😭 also thank you for the reposts and likes on the first post!

synopsis after the rumbling, you found yourself on your feet in your home town. you have a completely new life - you’re watching your country be built again and now you have a fiancé! what happens when a man from your past reaches out to you via letter?

Winter 858

Mister Ambassador,

Thank you so much for the job opportunity. My wife had told me about, you, a friend she had made before the Rumbling. Thank you for reaching out to her. Considering my previous line of work, I did hear a little bit about Paradis and their efforts from other Hizuran diplomats. We should connect personally some time.

I am interested in diplomat work but I'm worried about leaving Anahg. As time has gone on, we've grown at steady rate; with hardworking people and Hizuru's funds and service, we've been able to get up on our feet. There's still a lot of ways to go but we're getting there. My problem is turning my back on these people. I'm not even from here but yet they've found their trust in me as a leader.  It'd be a bad look if I packed up and left, especially because the people of Anahg know of my love for the world. And I can't just leave my wife or move her again. She's been far away from Anahg and now she's finally home and we just got married. I'm honestly surprised that she pitched this offer to me.

I can't say yes to a new job right now, I'm sorry. But if you and the Alliance would like to visit Anahg, that'd be wonderful. Maybe we can build a partnership.

Thank you again,

Sebas Abe

Mr. Abe,

No, thank you for reaching out to me. Your wife has presented you as an amazing candidate and from asking around my Hizuran colleagues, I can tell they trust you too from how their eyes lit up from the mention of your name. I'd definitely be interested in connecting with you even if you can't take the job and I think I can work something out if you're interested in having the Alliance come to you.

I'm most definitely interested in visiting you, your wife, and Anahg.

I'll write again soon,

Jean Kirstein, Peace Ambassador

Dearest Jean,

My my, what a negotiator you are. Sebas was over the moon about your response today, as you already know. I'm also very excited. I'm interested in seeing you and touching you again. Are you still as handsome as you were a few years ago?

Are you for sure bringing more people with you? I want to see if I can get a moment alone with you. I feel that it might be impossible considering you're the one pitching this trip and it'd be inappropriate for you to disappear for a few hours. But we'll see.

If you were to visit, how long would you stay?

Missing you,

Y/N

Y/N,

I still feel handsome. I am worried though...I haven't done anything since you. It's really been me and my alone time, so I hope you aren't disappointed when I arrive. I can't wait to see you; I bet you're even more beautiful now.

I'd like to bring my friends from Paradis who established the Alliance but I'm worried they all won't be able to come with our situation with New Marley and Mainland Marley. It's either I bring a few of us and stay for a few weeks or even days or we wait a very long time as we have a few more places to visit before we can hit the Southern Regions.

In the past, and because of how recent the Rumbling was, I and multiple others have spent at least two years in New Marley and Mainland Marley. I've managed to come home because of my mother or because of holidays that have been planned previously. I know a few people love to stay for the entire period.

Jean Kirstein

Jean,

Don't worry, I'll get you up to speed. I'm very experienced now!

Bring as many as you can. Or just you. I doubt Sebas will have you running all over the place if it's just you. Also, why not ask some individuals from Hizuru? They'd love to visit him, no?

I'd do anything to see you every few days every month. I can't wait for years. I might even have to come to Paradis myself.

I need you. I need your air. He doesn't satisfy me. He doesn't leave me thinking about his performance for years, not even seconds. I'm always thinking about you; replacing his face with yours. I always have to stop myself from crying out your name. I only get the chance to when I'm alone.

Y/N

Darling,

From now on, I don't want to hear anything about you and him. I totally forgot that activity was a part of your marriage. Don't remind me.

As soon as I read your letter, I started talking to the others. Some of us have agreed to visit Anahg for a few days. I will write to your husband. Act as if you don't know. I will be seeing you soon, darling.

When I'm there, I'll take you. I'll give you the time you deserve. I'll perform for you. Just wait and keep me in mind.

Love,

Jean Kirstein

Spring 858

Dear Mr. Ambassador,

We're all excited about your arrival this upcoming week. I understand that a native, Onyankopon, is coming with you. I am eager to speak with him and so is my wife.

We have set up spaces for you and your colleagues and we will let you know once you arrive. You, however, will be staying with my wife and I.

I am so pleased with this visit. I hope we can make some progress.

Thank you,

Sebas Abe

Summer 858

The minute the Paradian Alliance members stepped foot within Anahg they were hit with humidity. Although they had lived on an island for most of their lives, the heat and humidity were nothing like Paradis. Regardless of the humidity, Jean was looking forward to his time here. He was going to take off his clothes anyway; the sooner the better.

Along with Jean came Onyankopon, Armin, and Connie. Considering that Libero was their home, Reiner, Annie, and Pieck stayed behind with others to finish negotiations in both Marleyian nations. The quartet in Anahg was greeted by a group of Anahgians who, by horse, led them to the Abe residence. The home wasn't as majestic as it sounded but it looked live-able and comfortable.

Onyankopon thanks the individuals who helped in their shared language and the four walk up to the front door. Jean is feeling jittery; not only is he worried about being caught but he doesn't know how he's going to react once he sees you. The last time you saw each other, he was leaving and he didn't dare to look you in the eye. After learning what you had been through during the Rumbling, he felt responsible. He could have just told you the truth and you could have gone home. But had you gone home, would you have been killed?

His thoughts dissolved once the front door opened and he was met by a woman. Her skin was melanated, her hair coily, and her face absolutely beautiful. Jean's eyes widen and his mouth parts. She's looking up at him with the same look on her face.

"Y/N," he breathes. Instinctively, you find yourself wrapping your arms around his torso. Jean takes this as an opportunity to bow his head and take in your air. If only he could kiss you. The moment feels like it could last forever.

"Mr. Kirstein." The two move away from each other like two positive magnets. Sebas enters. He shakes the Alliance's hands one by one and reaches Jean last. You move back, eyes still on Jean, missing the touch of his torso, longing to be attached to him once more. Sebas's handshake with Jean is firm. "I'm so glad to finally meet you. Let's head inside." Sebas looks back at you, his wife. "Do you think you could get our guest something to drink?" Your eyes flicker over at Sebas and you almost forget how to speak. "Uh, uh...yeah."

You all begin to enter the home. It's still developing its story; The living room was a light shade of brown, full of seating and some plants. "You can wait here. I have tea, water, wine..." you start," The tea and water will take a while-" Sebas cuts in, "It's a little too early for wine don't you think? Just get them the tea and water." You nod but once you're about to walk off, Jean opens his mouth. "I'll actually take some wine. I know it's a diplomatic visit...kind of but..." He looks over at Armin sheepishly. Armin refuses to look at him but then sighs and shakes his head looking down. Trying to hold back a chuckle, he mutters, "You're ridiculous." Sebas looks over at you once more, "Just go ahead and get the wine." You look at Sebas, then Jean, and finally take your exit.

"I guess we can relax tonight. You all just got here, so I don't mind a little drinking. Just not too much though because I know all of you will be placed somewhere else and we want to make a good impression on your hosts. Throughout the next few days, I'll show you around," Sebas explains.

You return with two bottles and five glasses. Everyone thanks you verbally but Jean says nothing. His eyes only stay on you.

After many introductions and drinking, Sebas had gone out with Onyankopon, Armin, and Connie to show them where they'd be sleeping for the next few days, leaving you with Jean. He had gone to the guest room to put his stuff down. You were in the kitchen, trying to figure out the plan for dinner. Coming up with something was much harder now with technology being very wonky these past few years and it didn't help that she didn't know what Jean wanted.

You turned around, ready to call him downstairs but there he was leaning on the doorframe of the kitchen. "Jean," you breathe. He starts walking towards you, steps getting faster and bigger each time until he has one hand on your neck and the other on your back. Your lips meet his, desperate for him. Jean lifts you and places you on the counter. He pushes your legs back and lowers himself. Jean pushes your underwear aside to get a look at your core. You were getting wetter and needier by the moment. "Jean..." you mewled. Jean looks up at you. "Be patient, baby. I'm just getting a good look at you." You whine at his words, clearly growing impatient. Your aching and yearning dissolved once you felt his tongue running over your slit. Your body trembles in excitement, unsure on how to work itself. He laps at your cunt but then stops remembering you were both on a time limit. He comes up and kisses you a few more times.

"I need you desperately," you whisper, placing your forehead on his. Jean kisses your nose then proceeds to unbuckle and pull down his pants. "I'll make it quick." He strokes himself up and down against you before applying pressure. Naturally, you take him in. Jean grabs at your side, letting out a pained sigh before setting a pace. You immediately grab onto his cheek and bring him in for another quick kiss.

By the minute his pace picks up and you're so close! You start to gasp, ready to release when Jean suddenly stops. He gives you a panicked look - the front door is opening. He pulls out of you and bends over to pull his pants up and get situated. You get off the counter with slightly shaky legs from the experience and the anxiety of Sebas on his way.

"Do you have a towel or-" Jean cuts himself off once he grabs a rag and wipes the part of the counter where they partially did the deed off. He shoves it in your hand unsure of what to do with it. Both of your faces are flushed, unsure of if Sebas will crack the code on day one.

He walks in, smiling, then it drops. "You haven't made dinner, yet?" he asks. You're using the counter to support you. "I-I-" You don't stutter because you're nervous but because you still have Jean on your mind. One moment, he had you feeling euphoric and now he has you trembling from his force. You look over at him. "It's my fault. She called me over to talk about it and we ended up having a conversation about my life in Paradis and what we've been up to these past years. I totally forgot I was hungry," Jean replies quickly. He looks at you; you tell them thank you with your eyes.

"Mr. Kirstein, are you ok? You seem a little hot...out of breath almost?" Jean's eyes widened like he was about to shit a ton of bricks. "Is it the heat?" Jean coughs. "I think so. Sorry...Paradian summers are a bit lighter than Anahg's." Sebas's hands clasp together. "That's alright, let's sit down in the living room and relax." Jean nods and leaves immediately, feeling sheepish.

Sebas doesn't immediately follow and instead turns to you. "Make something," he says sternly, "Cereal, oatmeal, something! It's getting late." You bow your head in embarrassment. If you only had Jean a little longer.

Fall 858

Y/N,

I apologize for leaving you high and dry during our visit. Your husband is very passionate about Anahg and it's progress and from my point of view, a lot of work has to be done. My work mind turned on immediately and my focus was on the individuals that needed help. I'm sorry.

I had to get myself off so many times at the thought of you in so many different places during that trip. I wish we had more time to sneak off. I was either with Sebas or you were. I wish you could have been in the guest room with me but that would have been very suspicious. I wish we had more time together, so I could really give you a good welcome back.

Well, at least I got to see your face. You're beautiful. I think the sun in Anahg has done you a favor; you have this insane glow to you. And your hair is pretty. I'm just afraid to pull on it though.

Y/N, I want to ask you something, if it's not too inappropriate. Why is Sebas always talking to you that way? He's not cruel but his tone isn't kind either. Based on his positive tone in his letters and in person, I'm unsure about what exactly I witnessed.

Love,

Jean

My Dearest, Jean,

I’m starting to see your point about mentioning Sebas and our activities in our letters. But I find that calling him Sebas doesn’t make things easier. Let’s call him…Him.

Yes, I share your frustration. I couldn’t even satisfy myself. I need you physically. I wish he had given us more time to catch up; he knows of our friendship.

You’re equally as handsome, Jean. I find myself heating up at the thought of you…and a little jealous when I hear other women talk about the visit. I wish Him was as thoughtful as you are; he doesn’t bother asking about pulling my hair.

Him…well, he was sweet in the beginning - so I feel like the stress is getting to him. I understand. There’s been so much because of what your friend did. We’re losing our patience and missing our past lives. We just need a little patience and time. He can be kind sometimes.

Missing and yearning for you,

Y/N

[itsphoenix0724]

a cassian pink azalea story pls 🙏

Pink Azalea (Cassian x Reader)

Warnings: angsty, allusions to smut

Word Count: 1.3k

❀° Event Masterlist ❀°

A/N: Hi Anon! Thank you so much for participating in my writing event! I hope you enjoy what I've written for you, and I hope you come back again soon! I took inspiration from the Cas and Mor storyline, but the reader is Rhy's sister. No smut this time but I'm planning to stretch those muscles very soon don't worry. I kind of ran with the theory that the pool of starlight in spring was a portal, so that was a fun idea. I hope you're having an amazing day, and as always constructive criticism is welcome! <3

“Engaged?!” Cassian’s enraged response shakes your bones. You were sitting on Cassian’s bed in your Mother’s cottage, your trembling hands fisting the small quilt, tears pouring down your cheeks. 

The tears haven’t stopped since your father announced that you would wed the eldest son of the Autumn Court. 

“You’ll marry him!” Your father had yelled perched atop his throne, his night-filled powers draining the air from the room. It felt like someone was holding your head underwater, the numb shock taking over your whole body. You had tried to argue, but your father’s power had sent you to your knees before his throne. “Your business with that Illyrian is done.” His tone was final. 

“Father, please,” You sob. Hands clawing at the stone floor. 

“Enough! You have a duty to this family! To this court!” His voice was booming with so much power, so much force the windows shook in their frames. Your father never left any room for argument, and your poor mother had only sent you pitying looks from where she was standing beside his throne before she winnowed you here. 

You couldn't hear Cassian’s words until he lightly shook your shoulders. 

“There’s got to be something we can do to stop this,” he sputters and paces infront of the bed. The only thing you wanted to do was bury yourself alive in the garden out back, and not come out until this whole mess was over. “We could run away!” Cassian insists. He would run you to the edges of this earth and the next if it meant it would get you to stop looking like a wounded animal. You huff out a dry laugh that does nothing for Cassian’s ill-timed temper. “You could come up with some ideas too you know? He’s your father!” That snaps you out of your stupor, and the boiling rage in your stomach finally threatens to surface. 

“HE IS MY HIGH LORD ABOVE ALL ELSE!” The volume knocks Cassian back a step, and you shoot off the bed, your wings flaring with the rise of your anger. “Just because he lets Rhys, the perfect heir, do whatever he wants does not mean I am extended the same courtesy.” The well of power you inherited from your father threatens to suffocate everything in the room, the fireplace struggling to stay lit. Cassin stays weathering the storm as you scream yourself hoarse. “I am worthless to him without this. It doesn’t matter, has never mattered, to him what I am capable of outside of being shipped off to strengthen court alliances by reproducing.” The sobs come again. The years and years of rage surfacing now at being overlooked simply because you were born a woman. You fall against the bed, your back making the old mattress squeak under your weight. “If I try to run, he’ll probably chain me to Eris’s bed himself.” 

Cas lets out a heaving sigh as he pulls you into a sitting position, clutching your hands and kneeling before you. He presses a kiss to each one of your knuckles and waits until your bawling turns into soft sniffling. Your hands have wound around his neck, cradling his head to your stomach as you try to calm yourself down. He’s trying his best to help you, rubbing soothing circles into the bend of your knee. The only thing you can do is keep babbling out how this is so unfair, how you love him, and how you’d rather die than marry Eris. 

Surprisingly your mother is the one who becomes your savior.

Your beautiful quiet mother, who only stayed with your father out of gratuity for her unclipped wings, stands in the doorway with the most determined look you’ve ever seen on her face. Here was the female who you thought your father long buried, the one who kicked and screamed so hard when they tried to take flight from her she brought down the snow off of the mountains. This was the Queen of the Night Court, and she wouldn’t let anyone shackle her daughter. 

Cassian steps away, respectfully inclining his head to your mother as she walks over to you and grabs ahold of your face. 

“Listen to me,” She directs you so that you’re looking into her eyes. “You are not marrying Eris.” The pure seriousness on her face makes you nod along. “I need you to listen very carefully. I’ve called in a favour with Spring, we’re leaving, and we won’t be back for a very long time.” Her eyes dart between you and Cassian, who looks as if your mother had just ripped his heart out and stepped on it. She wheels on him next, looking at him in a way that makes him go deathly still. “Cassian, you have to promise me you won’t say anything. Not to Azriel, not to my husband, and especially not to Rhysand.” Her face pains when she mentions your brother and your own heart gives an ugly at not being able to see him for a long while. “No matter what happens” 

Cas turns into a sheet of white, but he agrees to the promise with your mother anyway, and tattoos burn their way onto their forearms. Your mother clasps his cheeks and presses a kiss to the top of Cassian’s head. She turns back to you after Cas’s eyes begin to well with tears. 

“You have an hour before we leave, you must not take anything with you. I’ll let the two of you say your goodbyes.” She exits the room and Cassian has you back in his arms in a second. He presses a bruising kiss to your lips hauling you by your hips into his broad chest. You pull the tie out of his hair as you kiss him just as fervently. If this was the last time you would be seeing him you were determined to make it count. He moans at the way you scratch his scalp and presses you down against the threadbare bed. You spend the next hour losing yourselves in each other when you collect yourselves to leave. Cassian escorts you to the border of spring, your mother insisting he travel with you no further. Tamlin and his father meet you at the border, and you bid one final goodbye to Cassian. 

“I promise to you,” he mutters against your lips, a hand cupping your cheek. “That I will wait for your return until my last breath, and if that is still too soon I will wait for you in the world after this. I swear on my life.” The singe of the tattoo that appears on your skin matches the burning intensity of his kiss and your tears. 

“Goodbye, Cassian.” You breathe in his scent for one last time, trying to inscribe it in your memory. He breathes deeply into your hair before leaving one last kiss there as the High Lord of Spring and his youngest son usher you into the night. You make your way through the court before stopping at a small pool that looks like it stole the diamond-painted stars right out of the sky. You and your mother hold hands and swim down together, you hold your breath until you reach the bottom. There was a brief flash of pain, your lungs screaming for oxygen. 

And then you and your mother disappeared without a trace. 

What followed was a shit show. Spring’s High Lord has done an excellent job of covering your tracks. The glamoured head and wings were a gruesome sight to see, and it had sent Rhysand’s father into a rage that resulted in a bloodbath. Rhys and Tamlin were now High Lords. Cassian wanted to tell his brother about the ruse, but the promise mark burned into his forearm stopped him every time. 

But he would wait. He promised.

And Cassian never broke his promises.

[neevblanc]

this is a req for your cafe event! 🩷 15/Dark Era dazai x reader word: hm.....sick (like the kind of sick after you drink too much) bar lupin shall be the death of me🥹 If you need a name: April

a/n —hiii april! :D ty for sending this in! i've never tried my hand at writing dark era dazai so i hope i can do our little funky guy justice lmao :P

blanca’s cafe event!

this event is now CLOSED! feel free to leave a normal old ask, though!

૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡

-ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Dazai Osamu x GN!reader

Tags— dark era dazai, he's a little mean but what can ya do, regular dazai suicidal antics (help him), killer hangover (sort of), bullying him into being cared for seems to be a theme amongst the ppl in his life (looking at you, kunikida)

CW/TW— drinking, underage drinking, mentions of vomiting, dehydration, suicidal themes

please keep yourself safe.

note — i ended up modeling what reader is to this dazai as something similar to what higuchi is to akutagawa. not exactly, of course, since all four of these characters are complex and very much different but the premise was...inspired, i think. it's interesting. dazai is interesting!

𝗡𝗼𝘄 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴:

"Dead to Me by Kali Uchis"

00:34 ━━●─────── 03:19

ㅤ ㅤ◁ㅤ ❚❚ ㅤ▷ ㅤㅤ

"i don't know what you've been told. see i am not your enemy."

The walk up to the roof is familiar. The stairway is damp, and the stairs creak under your feet; the building is one of the older ones left in the city and, therefore, made of wood instead of the metal you were used to seeing.

You open the door to the roof, biting the inside of your cheek as you step out into the open and let it shut behind you. The soft night wind bites at your face in greeting as soon as you are entirely on the roof. Your eyes dart to the right, and you find what you’re looking for in the exact place it always is.

“Are you done now, Dazai-san?” You ask, approaching the man. He’s sat on the ledge of the building. Despite seeing him in this position more times than you could count, unease still seeps into your stomach and pools at the bottom. You stop just beside him, and without thinking much of it, you do the math to make sure you’d be able to catch him if anything happened.

You shuffle a foot closer. He doesn’t look at you when he speaks.

“Yes.” Dazai’s response is clipped, but he takes a deep and visible breath before speaking. You know immediately he’s had too much to drink.

“Are you here alone?” You ask, despite knowing that Oda-san and Ango-san wouldn’t have let Dazai up, and Dazai wouldn’t have been on the roof if Oda-san and Ango-san were with him.

“None of your business.” He huffs, almost clumsy, as he swings his gangly legs back toward the roof and stands slower than usual. You frowned but kept your hands to yourself, knowing he wouldn’t appreciate a steadying hand. You turn first, keeping track of his footsteps that sound quietly just after yours. You hold the door to the stairwell open for him, and Dazai passes you without the slightest acknowledgment. 

He heads out of the building without another word, and instead of following his steps back to his…room, you quickly round the corner and head down the steps to bar Lupin. Two steps at a time, your breath comes out in cloudy puffs due to the cold. The bar door creaks ever so slightly as you open it, and the man at the bar gives you a strained smile when he sees you.

“Got him?” He asks, putting down the glass he’d been drying. You nod, sighing lightly.

“Could I have some of those bread rolls you sell? Put them on Dazai-san’s tab, please. I’ll be back to pay it off later in the week anyway.” You say, leaning on the bar. He smiles gently at you and packs the little rolls into a box for you to take. He hands them over and tilts his head toward the door.

“Now get going. It’s too damn cold and late for you kids to be out.” He shoos you away, and you hurry back into the winter air again.

Fortunately, Dazai has slumped against a building wall not too far away. A flickering streetlight shines above him, keeping his form visible to you despite the layers of black he insists on wearing.

You walk to him quickly, and as you near, he straightens and doesn’t bother to look your way. You do him a favor and pretend he hadn’t been slack-jawed a second ago, half coherent and entirely too relaxed in public.

You fumble the take-out box open and hand him one of the rolls, ignoring the hazy way his eyes roll over your entire form as he takes it. A Dazai this plastered doesn’t have much of the subtly everyone might expect from him.

“These are cold.” He huffed, demolishing half of the roll in one bite. You smile tightly at him.

“Unfortunately, they’re not kept fresh for 18 hours, Dazai-san. We’re lucky Lupin had any leftovers at all.” You sigh. Dazai busies himself with the rest of the roll in his hands, so you don’t get much of a response.

The walk to the shipping yard isn’t too eventful. Fellow drunks and the shady people that populate Yokohama’s streets at night become less and less as they tread deeper into Port Mafia territory. For all the fear that the PM no doubt instilled into Yokohama’s citizens, they weren’t the type to break promises. Shop owners paid their protection fee monthly, and they were dutifully kept from any damage caused by the (admittedly desperate and exaggeratedly large population caused by the Port Mafia) local criminals.

Despite his inebriated state, Dazai’s unsteady feet lead him toward the container he calls home- which you’re grateful for since you couldn’t ever remember which was his in the sea of containers the Mafia had come in and out of the shipping yard.

You watch him fumble with the latches, managing only to flip those over. Dazai had never been the strongest, so when he goes to pull on the handles and pop the container open, he stumbles backward and just barely manages to not fall flat on his ass.

“Um.” He slurs, blinking at his hands. They must have let go without him trying to. You bite back a laugh and pull the handles, only slightly staggering with the weight of the door once it pops open.

Dazai huffs softly and heads in, leaving you to close the door behind you by a cable he had fashioned to the door. You secure the door and turn to flick the lamp in the corner on, illuminating the space in a warm glow. The lamp was an addition you insisted on. Eventually, Dazai allowed you to drag in the thing (along with a semi-quiet-enough generator to keep it running). You had a feeling it was only ever turned on when you were in here.

Dazai had collapsed onto his mattress, worryingly quiet and face down. You put the container with the rolls down near the makeshift bed and gently roll him over, making sure he settled on his side to avoid choking on his own vomit in the night. His face is startlingly blank when you can see it again, and he eyes you with contempt.

“I didn’t say you could touch me.” He says lightly, though you know better than to think he wasn’t bothered.

“Sorry, Dazai-san. You wouldn’t enjoy dying in a pool of your own vomit, I think.” You answer lowly, slowly reaching for a bottle of water that had clearly rolled away one night and hadn’t been picked up since.

He gives you that same withering look and brings a hand up to rest over his eyes. You imagine the headache he’s sporting must be killer- Dazai was not one to be nice to himself, especially not with something so destructive as drinking.

You gesture for him to take the bottle in your hands, shaking it lightly as if he were a toddler who needed the visual cue. He huffs and takes it.

“You should leave.” He mutters, haphazardly bringing the bottle’s opening to his mouth and drinking messily. You ignore the way some of the water overwhelms him and dribbles down the side of his mouth.

“I should, but it wouldn’t do to have you die by choking. Even asleep, I hear it’s a horrible way to die.” You hum, finally shifting into a comfortable sitting position next to the mattress.

A sober Dazai might’ve stared you down until you left, and a particularly pissy one would’ve shoved you out himself.

As he was, he grumbled and let the bottle fall back into your waiting hands and promptly went to sleep, sagging like a corpse into the bed. You place the bottle next to you and sigh as quietly as possible- Dazai could be one hell of a light sleeper.

His breathing deepens quickly, and it’s startlingly quiet despite his inebriation. Dazai was always like this, somehow- walking the line between alive and dead. He was your superior by multiple clearance levels, sure, but not much older than you and not all that physically impressive. His strength was in his demeanor, of course- in his sharp tongue and quick-witted mind.

He was still young, though, and despite being a bit younger than him you were always a little taken aback by how other members treated him when his face was still round and soft like a child’s. The only people who really treated him like a kid you could count on one hand, and one of them was his age.

You’d keep these thoughts to yourself, of course. You’d seen people get shot for much less let alone question their superiors power.

The lamp flickered in the corner. The yellow light made him look sickly. The floor of the crate was rigged and unforgiving, but you preferred to stay where you were. In case Dazai needed anything.

And if it meant you got to settle the tightness in your chest by watching his own move steadily throughout the night, then no one else would have to know.

[uselesssomebody]

thinking about joel obviously and i just

joel caught up in the moment, probably drunk (actually off alcohol or pu$$y Ima) and letting a fantasy of his slip out where he wants a MMF 3some just to fill reader up…... but denies it later when she brings it up..... but she tries to arrange it with some dude and they get pretty far into the process - - like meet up at a bar and hang out with plans on all going home together..... but jealous!joel changes his mind (shocker!) and keeps reader all to himself, probably fucking in the car before they make it home Imao

specific yes but.

you're a good writer. you can do it. please.

𝕚 𝕟𝕖𝕖𝕕 𝕪𝕠𝕦 - 𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕟𝕠𝕨 - joel miller x reader

complete masterlist | joel miller masterlist

words || 𝟟.𝟜𝕜

summary || in which the reader and joel do some experimenting?? (just look at the ask)

a/n || i am such a waffler man this was supposed to be a quick and easy response and now it's over 7k?? ➵ hey nonnie hope you enjoy i know it's long. i actually adored the request so much and it made me blush when i first read it on the bus. also, i realized like halfway through that you had likely wanted pre-outbreak but it is, in fact, post-outbreak and set in jackson. ➵ no ellie in this one though, guys, but there is like a male oc who the reader is kinda with for a bit - just look at the ask, honestly ➵ poe and thomas from tmr requests in my asks - i see you and you will be answered so soon! ➵ evidently i am now also a whore for oscar isaac so sen over lil moon knight, santiago or poe requests if you have 'em. planning on writing for leto from dune too - just too much of dilf to ignore, unfortunately. ➵ like very 18+/MDNI content, and heed warnings cuz by god is this one of the sluttiest, smuttiest things i've ever written ➵ not edited (yet) ➵ send me requests if you have ‘em. enjoy!

warnings || fluff/smut/smidge of angst ➵ unprotected p.i.v. ➵ sex after alcohol consumption (fully consensual though)➵ finger sucking + gagging➵ lotta threesome mentions and fantasizing➵ bitty bit of spit play➵ semi-public sex + exhibitionism➵ mirror sex➵ oral (m receiving) ➵ cum swallowing ➵ cum ig (tell me if i miss anything)

"are you feeling alright?" she blinked up at the man in front of her, broken out of her daydream.

"huh? yeah, yeah - i'm fine. why'dya ask?" he shrugs.

"looked like you'd fallen asleep over there. actually, you've got a little bit of drool-" all grogginess evaporates from her as she brings her sleeve up to wipe the corner of her mouth that he'd gestured to. he laughed at her bugged-out reaction, keeling over, when she realizes he'd been joking - and she hadn't, in fact, been drooling.

"fuck off, man." he wheezes through his laughs.

"you should have seen your face!"

they were the last two sat at the kitchen, serving dinner to the last few residents of jackson who had come in for a late meal. it'd been a long day for her, as she attempted to pick up shifts to help with the town's current shortage of workers - too many out with the flu at the moment.

it was a bit absurd, honestly, having so many afflicted by the common cold when there was a whole apocalyptic fungus about.

nevertheless, she'd finished cooking a few hours ago, and now, her and her coworker were finishing portioning the meals and wrapping the sliver of leftovers for the next day. with only a few people sat around the makeshift cafeteria, the both of them were sat in the cleaned kitchen, trying not to fall asleep.

she'd known him - jake - since she'd been in jackson: her first superior when she'd joined the food industry in the small town. he was nice and welcoming at first, but as they were put on more shifts together and had more silent hours to kill, she'd realized how dumb he was.

affectionately, of course.

he loved to make stupid jokes and laugh at stupid things. he liked to believe stupid things, and say even more stupid things to her.

she sat through them, laughing at his antics or willing away her annoyance at his childishness. nevertheless, he was one of her close friends, and - as much as she thought he was dumb - he was there enough of the time for her to accustom to him.

they're snapped out of their banter by the bell at the door ringing, signalling someone had walked in. they both walk out, ready to serve the very late townsman, until she realizes who it is as they near.

she slips out from behind the booth to greet him, placing a soft kiss to his cheek as he grips her side in a half-bear hug.

"hey, joel."

"how're ya, baby?" she nods, detaching.

"i'm - i'm okay."

"long day, ain't it?" she nods meekly at his assessment, smiling when his large hand presses over her shoulder, subtly massaging the tense muscles there as she turns back to jake.

"'lright, i should get back, joel -" she starts, but is cut off by her colleague's disagreement.

"no, you guys head home. i'll finish up here." she hesitates, immediately disagreeing.

"no - i shouldn't-"

"don't worry about it." jake's words hold a finality, and she salutes him as he laughs.

"alright - i'll see you tomorrow. okay?" he nods, waving them off as joel guides her out. he's moving a little fast - a little urgent - and it makes her laugh.

"are we in a rush?" she mumbles, taking in the cold of the night air as she sucks in a breath.

"hmm?" joel's voice is gruff, and, only when she glances at him under the streetlight does she notice the flush on his face.

"are - are you drunk?" he stays quiet, and she snakes her arm around him, smiling at the warmth he provided, "okay, how about 'how much have you had to drink'?" his lips don the ghost of a smile as they approach her place.

"just enough to remind me how much i miss you." he mumbles, crowding her back as she opens the door, quick to take her bag, and then her shoes, and then her jacket, and then her sweater off of her, leaving her goosebumped in the aftermath of the cold wind hitting her on her near bare front.

she was quick to realize that it was one of those nights - and she sure wasn't complaining, wrapping her fingers around joel's hair as his head dips to meet her neck, sighing contently at the action. his hands clasp - almost desperately - on her hips, pulling her straight into her bedroom, as he continued leaving a trail of wet kisses along her neck.

she grips at the collar of his flannel, tracing her hands over the top of it until she reaches the buttons at the front, eagerly slipping them off, and his deft fingers perform the same action over her jeans, the button almost as eager as she was, slipping undone swiftly.

she grips his cheeks, pushing his lips to connect with her own, wanting to taste the 'just enough' whiskey or beer he'd had while waiting for her.

and, fuck, did it taste good - a harsh taste that had clung to his teeth, which she eagerly licked off. it tasted aged, and rough around the edges - but that was probably just him.

she moaned into his mouth as he pulled her jeans just low enough to gain access to her cunt, swiping his fingers over the fabric of her soft underwear - where she'd practically soaked through the garment.

"fuck, baby - all for me?" his head dips into the small space between them as he moans, his mumble being confirmed by her vigorous nodding and the jolt of her hips when he applied just a hint of pressure. she pushes his shirt off as his fingers continue to explore the extent of her arousal, before he's pushing her down into a laying position over her bed.

he pulls her jeans off the rest of the way, and she rises just enough to grasp his belt, unbuckling it - but not taking it off. when she'd looked up at him, she'd realized that tonight was a i need you - right now night, and his trousers would probably only remain unzipped and lowered enough to take his cock out.

so, she does just that, pushing them down just enough to pull his cock out, stroking him lightly as he lets out another low groan.

"you want me-" though she can see the way he's aching for her, she knows he's still - as the gentleman he is - going to ask if she wants more satisfaction beforehand.

"inside. right now." it's supposed to be a cheeky command, but the desperation in her voice breaks the illusion. it's more than enough for joel, though, gripping his cock and slipping her underwear to the side, only taking a moment to run a finger over her soaked folds and exhaling deep and low.

his tip nudges against his clit, making her hips buck, catching him on her entrance, and allowing him to push inside her.

"oh, fuck-" it falls from his mouth - practically without permission - and his sentiment is shared by her, breaths shallow as he fills her.

"oh - god - that's so good, joel - 't's'good-" her words her garbled nonsense, and the desperate nature of them spur him on, letting out a gruff moan as he bottoms out.

he can feel her clenching around him - obviously trying to adjust to the size of him - and it's doing all sorts of things to his head. he allows her breath to even just slightly, before he pulls back and pushes inside her, watching her mouth fall open at the sharp action.

she was so fucking pretty - her eyes glazed over as she felt him repeat the action, his thrusts determined and rough, her mouth hung open, mind seemingly blank, as not even a word escapes her.

he slows down for a moment, and sees the moment of annoyance fall over her features, her brows scrunching as she goes to question his actions. he removes one of his hands from their grip on her waist, bringing it up to cup the side of her face. his thumb strokes her cheek for a second, making her relent and smile at the soft action, before he takes her by surprise, speeding up, and bringing his hand closer to her chin, his thumb ghosting her open lips.

"oh - oh, my god-" her moans are quiet, a whimper pressed under his finger, and as her mouth falls open again, he rests his thumb against her tongue, watching her features flash in confusion, before she succumbs, almost instinctively wrapping her lips over his thick finger.

it's a pretty sight - in a fucked way - and it makes his thrusts quicken, her eyes squeezing shut and her mouth humming around his thumb at the sensation. his eyes watch the hollow of her cheeks as she suckles him, the flick of her tongue against his nail, the slight rock of her head up and down. her moans sound garbled and mumbled against him, and that makes them sound more desperate - as though she was trying so hard to let him know how good he felt, but couldn't get it across while her mouth was occupied.

he pressed up closer against her, removing his thumb and replacing it with his index and middle fingers. it wasn't a challenge for her mouth, but she could feel herself gag when he pushed them down - and he found the sound fucking hot.

"christ - gonna have to fill you up like this every time." so distracted by his cock and his fingers, she nods without paying too much attention, until his next sentence: "want me to get someone else to do it? watch someone fill your mouth while i fuck you like this?" her eyes widen at the notion, but she knows that he can feel the way she clenches around him at the thought, and a grunt escapes him, his hips stuttering at the sensation, "fuck, you like that, don't you? so greedy, pretty baby, ain't i enough?" he can see the way her eyes widen at his words, as she was totally not saying that. he's sure her small movements around his fingers are the shake of her head, and it makes him laugh, "that's okay, baby, i wanna see it too. wanna see you get filled up-" his words swim in her head, and he's still talking, but she can't hear him anymore, her stomach clenching at the feeling of her orgasm.

she's sure she squeals around him or something, because his thrusts speed up just slightly: his hands are a bit rougher on her body, and his movements are a bit more intentioned.

"that's it, baby, d'ya wanna cum for me?" she nods, and he smiles, pulling his fingers out of her mouth, and trailing his spit slicked digits over her cunt, ghosting over her clit, making her moan come out loudly, "i didn't hear you, pretty girl," she looks up at him, gripping one of his biceps and the hand on her waist.

"please - please, joel, lemme cum - please?" it seemed to be the only word in her vocabulary, the way she was pleading, and he relented, nodding his head.

"go 'head, baby - cum, cum f'r'me." his accent becomes more pronounced as his own words become mumbled, his thrusts growing sloppy and less calculated. it's more than enough for her to oblige, feeling the growing knot in her stomach snap so hard her legs begin to shake, squealing at the sensation. his continued movements inside her are spurred by the clench of her cunt as he feels his own orgasm close, thrusting in a few more times, before pulling out and finishing over her.

they're both breathing deeply, trying to catch their breaths, and she's still twitching. he pulls off of her, allowing her some space to recover, before he walks into the bathroom of her place to clean up and find something for her.

when he comes back out, she already looks close to sleep, so he avoids saying all too much, focusing instead on slowly and gently cleaning her, pressing soft kisses to her crown or her fingertips. she lays down as he returns to the bathroom, seeing her practically passed out, her body curled against the side of the bed, and leaving a him-shaped spot by him.

he slides in beside her, feeling the warmth of her bare skin against his own, and lulling into an exhausted sleep of his own.

she woke up earlier than him the next day, knowing he preferred to sleep in late, especially since being in jackson. she rose to make herself - and him, when he decided to wake up - some breakfast, keeping her stove on low heat so that the sizzle of her eggs wouldn't cause too much noise.

she's in her own thoughts all morning, first adamant in getting ready so that she can go to work - before she remembers what he said last night.

'want me to get someone else to do it? watch someone fill your mouth while i fuck you like this?'

she didn't have a moment to process his words in her wrecked state last night, but her ability to mull over them this morning left her very confused.

sure, she didn't mind the idea of the fantasy - but that's under the precedent that she'd never thought about it before. joel had never said anything like that to her before - in fact, if anything, she thought joel hated the idea of her with someone else, always ready to pull her into him or grip her with purpose in the presence of other people who looked at her with too much interest.

so, his admission the previous night wasn't something she'd dismiss - but something she'd have to speak with him about after he'd woken up.

which, to her surprise, happened sooner than later, when she felt his arms wrap around her as she absentmindedly stirred her scrambled eggs, too focused on other things. she jolts against him, squeaking, but he takes the majority of the impact, still holding onto her tightly as he rested his head on her shoulder.

"jesus, joel - you scared the hell outta me." she catches her breath, tipping her head back onto his own shoulder, and smiling lightly at her reaction.

"good mornin' to ya too, sweetheart." he mumbles, good-naturedly. she laughs at his slightly monotone, unafflicted tone, before brushing him off and nudging him in the direction of the table, which he reluctantly obliges. she plates up their simple breakfast of toast and eggs, placing them on the table as he runs two glasses of water for them.

when they're both sat down and eating, she clears her throat.

"late today." it's a mumble, reminding him she'd be home late again, having been placed on another long shift.

"again?" he's curious - she'd pulled a lot of them recently, "if they're overworkin' ya, i'll talk to tommy-" she smiles, shaking her head at the suggestion.

"no, joel - everyone's sick, it's just temporary." he looks like he wants to argue, but he nods, shrugging. she smiles, trying to cheer him up, "you can put me to bed like you did yesterday, yeah?" she says it as she reaches for the fingers splayed beside him on his outstretched arm as he ate, ghosting her own over them. she can see the hint of a smile ghost over his face, not looking her in the eyes - as she knows the memory of the previous night is at the front of his mind.

"'f ya want that, i'll give it to ya, baby." it's a promise, and she smiles, feeling her own face redden at his casual tongue. then, her face falls for a moment, realizing what she still has to ask him.

"joel - actually, i need to ask you something." he looks up at her with questioning eyes. his mouth's full, but she knows he's gonna answer her, so she asks away: "were you being serious last night?" his expression turns more confused, his chews slowing as he processes her words. she continues, "you know, about bringing someone else in?" he chokes at her words, swallowing harshly and coughing before taking a sip of water.

she's a bit shocked by the reaction, but waits as he recuperates, before he answers.

"what? i dunno wha' yer talkin' about, sweetheart." his accent is heavy as he goes to sip his water again. her eyes widen at the response, unbelieving that, across the many ways he could have answered her, he chose to lie. and, she knows he's lying, because his cheeks and neck have reddened, and he's not looking her in the eyes. she shakes her head, mouth agape.

"i'm not - i'm not freaked out or anything, it's just something i thought we should talk about-" he shakes his head, picking up his now-empty plate, and placing it away without looking at her.

"there's nothin' to talk about." it's dismissive, and, frankly rude. she goes to say something, but, seeing his back still to her, she bites her tongue and rolls her eyes. having lost her appetite, she eat the rest of her meal with gritted teeth, leaving for work after with a noticeable frigidness.

at work, jake's quick to mention her heightened annoyance. first, he pokes a bit of fun at it, before he realizes the extent of it. he goes to ask what's wrong - but decides that she needs a good laugh more than a shoulder to cry on, so he does just that for the next few hours.

he watches as her shell cracks - first from her cracking just a hint of a smile at something stupidly funny he'd done, then accidentally letting out a chuckle and, finally, essentially belly laughing, to the point where he had to hold her up to make sure didn't fall into the large pot of chilli that she was making.

her mood positively lifted by her coworker, she walks around with just a slightly bigger pep in her step. jake had done a good job, he thinks.

by the end of the day, though, she's thinking about joel - and what he'd said last night, again. she can't help the thought of including another person proliferating her mind, especially not today, as she realized not only how damn sweet coworker, funny guy, friend jake is, but also how his smile's a bit toothy, but nice to look at, or how his hair actually looks really good when it's a bit fucked up from his hands running through it when he took a break, or had to push it away from his face.

it was fucking unholy, was what it was, thinking about the poor guy who was just trying to br a friend to her - especially right after an argument with her boyfriend that morning. jake seemed to notice her faraway stares again tonight, poking fun at it, without realizing that he was part of the reason for them.

by the last end of her night shift, she was sure he had realized the slight distance she was trying to put between them, but the man didn't mind, knowing she had a lot to think about from her behavior that morning.

he thinks he knows the reason for it, when he sees her boyfriend walk inside more timidly than he'd ever done, and the lack of a kiss that she'd usually immediately plant on him. in fact, he sits on a table in near them instead of saying hello to her - a distinct difference.

he ushers her out a little early once again, and she smiles, earnestly thanking him as she steps out of the kitchen - with promises of making it up to him sometime. he shrugged her off, waving her away, asking her not to worry about it.

she notices joel as soon as she leaves, watching him raise as she nears him.

"are you coming to mine?" she mumbles, not really looking at him as he opens to the door to let them both out.

"d'ya want me too?" she pauses for a moment, before smiling, as she can hear the hint of a plea in his voice. joel hated when they got like this, not liking the notion of making her unhappy, but knowing that he was uncharacteristically stubborn. she slides her hand into his own warm one, and sees the way his face lights up - well, to the extent that it can.

"you gonna keep your promise?" for a moment, he's confused, before realization dawns on him.

"f'course, sweetheart."

the previous night had left her just as satisfied and passed out as the last time. joel had fucked her with a purpose: letting her know how sorry he was for dismissing her out of embarrassment. nevertheless, he doesn't mention the idea he'd proposed two nights ago. she can tell it still intrigued him, though, as his fingers still exploratively entered her mouth, still hooked by the look of her trying to pleasure him in two different ways.

that morning, she felt more determined in surprising her boyfriend by fulfilling his fantasy. there wasn't too much opportunity to have these sexy surprises between each other in the advent of the apocalypse, so she figured this would at least be a memorable experience for the both of them.

and she knew just who the third would be.

that day, when she got to work, jake felt as though she was walking on eggshells around him. it always seemed as though a question was on the tip of her tongue, and she had this apprehensive, curious, and something-else look in her eyes whenever she'd catch his, and it was driving him mad. if there was one thing the man hated, it was not knowing.

finally, he corners her after the dinner rush.

"what's up with you, huh?" her eyes widen at his direct question.

"what? nothing, why do you ask?" he rolls his eyes, holding his head in his hands.

"you've been acting weird all day. did i do something?" she's quick to shake her head.

"no! no, not at all..." he immediately disspells his worried act, becoming annoyed.

"well, then, what is it?" she goes to argue, but he holds a hand up, "spare me the dramatics and just tell me, please. i've waited all day."

she opens her mouth. then closes it again. then repeats the action a few times. every time, it piques jake's interest. finally he can't take anymore, and lets out a frustrated sigh, causing her to finally blurt it out.

"joel wants a threesome!" as soon as it exits her mouth, she realizes how crude it is. jake's mouth falls open, before his shocked expression morphs into a laugh. she's shocked by the reaction.

"yeah? and you're worried? who's the lucky girl?" realizing his misunderstanding, she shakes her head.

"no, no - we kinda wanna introduce a guy." jake sobers up immediately, real confusion falling over his face.

"okay..." it's a slow response, and he suddenly feels as though the space between them is too small. seeing his expression, she panics.

"i'm - god, i'm stupid, sorry, i shouldn't have jumped out-" she's rambling in her panic, and he reaches to calm her.

"no, no, no, it's okay." they go silent for a moment, as he lets go of her hand, "you thought of someone else?" he finally asks. she swallows harshly.

"well - there's only one other guy i really trust in this town." it was true - everyone else was nice, but she didn't know anyone else, viable or not. he looks almost expectant in an answer, but when she looks up at him with a very suggestive glance, he realizes what she means.

"me?" he's shocked, as she slowly nods.

"only if you want to - i mean i totally get it if you don't..." realizing she'd start rambling again if she spoke, she bit her tongue, stopping herself. he shakes his head, taking a deep breath.

"no - god, no, it's not that. i mean, you're pretty, and - like, we're friends, i like you, it's just..." she watches his mouth expectantly, wanting his answer, "joel's scary" she wants to take him seriously, but she can't help but crack into a smile, causing his face to morph to indignance, "c'mon, i'm being serious." she nods.

"yeah, of course, of course. but he's not gonna do anything - he wants this." he looks contemplative, jaw clenching and unclenching.

"this is a stupid idea." her face falls a little, as she swallows, "but, i'll do it." shocked by the turn around, her breaks into a smile, reaching to give him a hug.

"seriously?" she mumbles into his shoulder.

"yeah, what the hell." she laughs at his casual nature, when the both of them hear the door open, knowing it could only be one person so late into the night.

she peeks out, smiling giddily at joel, and he follows her, waving at the man as well. joel's a bit confised - not having interacted much with jack? - jacob? - before, but he nods a hello to him as he hugs her.

she waves jake a quick goodbye, and he smiles at the couple, watching them walk away. as the door closes, he exhales deeply, wondering what he'd just gotten himself into.

over the next few days, her conversations with jake had this air of just slight awkwardness to them, and she was trying her best to subtly remind joel of his fantasy. she'd taken to sticking his own fingers in her mouth and mumbling about how she wanted to be filled up during their nights together.

she'd decided that the upcoming weekend maybe the best time for this experiment, and her and jake were about to be exempt from their duties for a well-deserved break, as some of the other kitchen staff had begun feeling better. she'd proposed the time to the man, and could practically see the heat that reached his ears.

"uh - yeah, shit - yeah. saturday?" she nods slowly, deciding it might be best to warm joel up to the surprise throughout the day, before the reveal at night.

on that friday, she walks out with a distinct pep in her step, excited to be doing this for her boyfriend. she had wrapped her friend in a quick hug - a thank you for his commitment to the idea - before returning to joel.

on that saturday, they practically woke up that morning fucking. she knew he'd never say no to sex before breakfast, so, as she goes down on him, she mumbles about the surprise she had for him later. thrown out of his pleasure by the surprise, he grips her hair, pulling her off of him and looking at her expectantly for elaboration.

"what - fuck-" her hand hadn't gotten the memo to pause, "what surprise?" she laughs against him.

"'f i tell you, it's not a surprise."

he doesn't bring it up again until after breakfast, though, once he does, he doesn't stop. he practically pesters her all day - on her off-day, no less - for an explanation, until, by about the evening, she relents.

"joel, alright." he finally stops, watching as she plops onto the couch next to him, finding a comfortable position as he watches her movements, an expectant expression on his face, "remember what you said a few days ago." his face suddenly hardens - immediately understanding, but not acknowledging her, "i know you were worried about what i thought, but i - i don't hate it." his mouth parts at her admission, and she averts her eyes, a shy smile creeping on her face, "go ahead, call me greedy again."

finally, his expression breaks, and a small laugh - more of an exhale - comes from him, remembering his reaction that night as well.

"i'm - i'm not gonna do that, sweetheart. but - i don't wanna pressure ya 'r anythin', 'lright?" she looks up at him earnestly and nods.

"you're not - i swear. i - well, it can't hurt to try, right?" he leans further back into the soft cushions, half shrugging, before his eyes narrow.

"what's yer su'prise then, baby?" she hesitates for a moment, unsure how to mention it.

"well, since you - y'know, we - wanted to, i thought i'd find a guy and arrange something..." she trails off, realizing the shock on joel's face. there's definitely an intrigue in his eyes, but something else - a little darker - hidden deeper in his gaze. she searches his face desperately, looking for disgust, or apprehension in his eyes.

"ya -" he swallows, lips parting again, tongue darting out to moisten them, going silent for a moment, "who'd ya find?" is the question he eventually settles on, averting his gaze from her for a moment.

"i - you know the guy i work with? jake?" joel immediately realizes - the man that always let his girl leave with him a little early. the guy who seemed decent enough, respectful enough. it made him swallow harshly, not sure how to process the thought, but being unable to ignore the slow, interested churn in his stomach, "did - should i have found someone else?" he can hear the light edge of panic in her voice, and he's quick to shake his head.

"no - no, darlin'. that's the surprise, then? we meetin' him tonight?" she nods slowly, still unsure of his reaction. he places an arm around her, pulling her close to him, and burying his nose in her hair. "re ya excited?" she stills for a moment, before nodding, a little sheepish.

"yup." his response is immediate.

"greedy girl."

the bar has a quiet lull to it, though it's a saturday. there are a few patrons milling about - in the booths, or by the bar. they step into the warm atmosphere after the cold of the night, and she can feel goosebumps rise - due to the weather change or the anticipation, she doesn't know.

joel's warm - as always - against her back, so close to her that she feels like she can scarcely breathe. his gripping her tightly by the waist, fingers tapping on her shirt - almost contemplatively. she sees jake by the bar, and he makes eye-contact with her over the rim of his glass of beer. she waves a hello, before guiding her boyfriend towards him.

she slides into the stool beside him, tentatively giving him a hug in greeting. she doesn't usually do it in front of joel, but she figured, by the end of the night, he'd be used to much, much more, so who cared? jake mumbles a quick hi to her, before leaning back.

"hey, joel." he also speaks hesitantly, nodding at the other man. she turns to watch his reaction, and sees that the stern expression that he always kept on his face hadn't exactly left. she watched him swallow, shuffling on his feet.

"yeah. hey." it's a gruff response, but it's, at least, a response. she rolls her shoulders, a small smile growing on her lips.

"well, i think it'd be best we have a little to drink?" it's not a question, but it's got the intonation of one, as she looks for support for the idea from her two companions. joel nods, and jake calls the bartender over, requesting 3 drinks.

she only planned on them staying about half or three-quarters of the hous, before heading back. now, it had progressed to be a few minutes past an hour and a half, and it didn't look like anyone was particularly ready. jake had been maintaining a respectful distance, talking to her, and trying to engage joel in conversation, but the other man was dismissive at best and just silent at worst.

thus, she'd been engaged in conversation with jake instead - boring stuff, such as the town's gossip, about work, or about something newly stupid the man had done. she'd laughed - in fact, she'd keeled over laughing at his story, a hand at the bar and the other at the man's arm to steady herself.

though, she felt herself lose that touch quickly, as joel's hands grip her waist to keep her grounded - maybe a little tighter than his normal hold.

nonetheless, through the conversation, she had tried to listen along to jake's stories, and include joel in their conversation, but it didn't seem to be working - and, after the third beer, her confidence was supremely dwindling.

when jake had been recognized by someone else that he knew, moving just a meter or two from the couple to greet the other person, joel had pulled her flush against him, his torso warm against hers as his mouth adjusted to be at her ear-level.

"i dunno 'bout this, sweetheart." he whispers it into her cheek, and it makes her features contort into confusion, but she doesn't turn to him.

"why not?" she whispers back, a bit confused by the change of pace from the afternoon. after a moment passed, and he hadn't answered, she turned to face him. there's a distinct discomfort on his face: a sour expression, his frown deeper than usual. he wasn't looking at her, though; his eyes instead trailed jake's quiet conversation with his friend. she felt a heaviness overcome her, along with realization, "if you don't want to - we can go..." she trails off, giving him space to respond, and she can feel his sharp inhale against her skin, contemplating the idea.

"baby, i you want to - i can, but-" she immediately shakes her head.

"'t's 'lright, we can go. i don't really mind." she gives him a small, almost reassuring smile, and, after another second, he nods. he pushes both of their empty drinks so that they're not teetering on the edge of the bar, and she quickly walks over to jake. he immediately takes notice of her.

"hey, you ready-" he begins, but, seeing the other person who was still speaking with jake, her eyes widen, quick to cut him off and turn him to face her, indicating a more private conversation.

"no! i mean - i dunno, jake - he's not up for it, i think." she tries to be as discreet as possible, but jake's worried expression as he glances over at her boyfriend forces her to suppress an eye-roll at his blatantness.

"i - is he alright, i mean - i'm-?" he's stammering a bit, and she smiles, knowing what he's actually stressed about.

"he's not gonna do anything, i swear." jake's eyes flickered over to joel's ever stern face, not really reassured. nevertheless, he nods.

"okay - you guys going, then?"

"yeah - early night, but whatever. i'll see you monday?" he's quick to agree, waving her off as she returned to joel, "'lright, we heading home?" joel's still looking at the other man, and she lightly presses against his forearm to get his attention. he finally switches his attention to her, a contemplative glaze in his eyes. he hums lightly, and she's about to repeat the question, before he's shaking his head.

"no. not yet, baby." she's a little confused, until he takes her hand in his own warm, large one, gently guiding her to him, "i've got an idea. d'ya trust me?" her eyes follow his movements: the slight fire in his eyes, the hidden smirk on his lips, the impatient tapping of his fingers on the back of her palm, and she's suddenly very intrigued. she nods slowly - of course she trusted him - and the smirk seems to grow.

they duck away from the crowd, towards the back of the bar, and into the bathrooms. now, she's even more confused, as she surveys the hints of the old jackson on the walls as joel ushers her inside - closing and locking the door behind her. there's scribbles on the walls - marker, pen, paint, nail marks - and she finds it a bit difficult to move too much between the space that her and her boyfriend were occupying in the small bathroom. it was quite bare-bones, but it was at least clean - she remembered thinking, distracted enough by the setting to not notice joel's wandering hands making their way to the front of her jeans.

when she does, she lets out a gasp, gripping them before they reach her button, stilling his movements.

"what're you doing?" it'd have been more shocked and indignant if they weren't still in decent earshot of some of the tables - she could hear music and people decently through the wooden door of the bathroom.

"i need you - right now, baby. you gonna let me make you feel good?" he mumbles it into her neck, not letting her confusing defer him as his lips trace over the side of her throat. she feels her hands grow a bit shakier, realizing why this sudden urge had overcome him, but that didn't stop her hesitance.

"i - joel, there're people outside - what if someone hears us?" he's pecking away at her resolve, though, as his hands travel up her body, pulling up the sweater she's wearing along with them.

"let 'em baby, let him hear how good i'm making ya feel." alright, this was a bit out of character for him - obviously spurred on by recent events - but the way he was moving definitely indicated his desperation. finally, she secedes, rolling her eyes as she tells him to be quiet nonetheless. cheekily, he responds, "remind yourself, sweetheart." he grasps the button of her jeans, taking it off with ease, as her own hands go to grip the edge of the sink in front of them, desperately trying not to see her own flushed appearance in the mirror, and focusing instead on the movements of his hands.

he's pulling her trousers down before she can even focus all that much, just far enough to rest under her ass, allowing his hand to snake around and find her cloth-covered clit, rubbing harshly before she has a chance to realize. it causes a squeak to emit from her, making her throw a hand over her mouth, forcing herself to bite down on her finger to avoid alerting the populace of the bar to the unsavory acts occurring.

her other hand reaches desperately to slow the wake of his hand's force, grasping uselessly against his forearm as his fingers continue their assault, feeling her hips involuntarily buck against his ministrations, her thighs hitting against the sink whenever she did. his other hand pulls her underwear down to join her jeans, his hand only relenting for half a moment before it immediately reconnected with her slit, collecting the evidence of her arousal on the tips of his fingers, before bringing the thick digits to his mouth. she follows the movement of his tongue across the slick on his fingers through the mirror, having to avert her gaze for fear of letting out a loud noise at the lewd action.

her bare ass begins rubbing against his clothed cock, begging for some renewed friction and - due to his kindness, or his own desperation - he obliges her immediately, unbuckling, unbuttoning and unwearing his trousers in swift, measured movements. even through her impatience, she can appreciate the speed with which she could feel the head of his cock against her cunt, pressing against her with a striking warmth, as she bit her tongue to little success - a small moan still slipping out from her teeth.

he places a hand to each of her own, placing them in an almost bracing position against the sides of the sink, before gripping her hip, and guiding his cock into her with the other. she can see her face change as she feels the movement inside her - and, better yet, she can see his: a pretty, flushed expression as he struggled to contain his own strength, as indicated by the grit of his teeth and the twitch of his fingers as they all come to rest on her waist.

she bites her lip, feeling his hips make contact with her ass - the feeling of fullness overtaking her senses as she desperately attempted to focus on not screaming.

though, when he began moving, she could feel that resolve crumbling: a large gasp escaping on the first thrust, then a small whimper on the second and - soon enough, full blown moans, echoing over the small room, accompanied by his own grunts and groans.

he lets out a sharp exhale, a ghost of a laugh, pulling her back to rest closer to him as his pace maintained - pushing and pulling inside her with a determination and dexterity.

"what happened, baby? though ya wanted to be quiet?" it takes a moment for her brain to even comprehend what he was saying, and only a garbled noise awaited him in response. she can see his smile against her skin - right next to her completely debauched face, which he also seems to notice, "look'it ya, yer so pretty, baby girl, my pretty girl, ain't ya?" she can hear how his own words are sloppy but unrelenting, as he gets lost in the feel of her. she immediately nods along, knowing that her stream of half-muffled moans didn't suffice an answer.

"joel - i - too loud-" through her mess, he could make out a hint of worry still present in her fucked-out nature, worried about the knowledge of their actions occurring to those outside the room. he finally relents - though he loves the idea of others hearing her noises for him, and only him.

"'lright, pretty, you just can't be quiet, huh?" there's a light hint of degradation in his tone, but not an actual lie in his words, and the events of the evening made it so she wasn't exactly shameful in that moment, so she simply nods. he obliges her untold request, taking a hand off her waist and pushing it over her mouth, muffling her moans to a much more effective degree. the action forces her head back a little, closer to him, and her back to arch. she glances into the mirror, and sees a smirk appear over joel's panting face.

suddenly, his thrusts are faster, harder, causing her eyes to widen as her fingers scramble to better hold onto the sink. he follows the actions in the mirror, smiling as he sees her reaction, trying to hold it together after his seeming measure of good-will, and subsequent surprise. he watches her eyes roll back into the back of her head, and chest heaving as she desperately tries to reduce her moans, feeling the consequence of her open mouth as her spit falls over his hand.

"that's it baby, take it for me, jus' like that, pretty. ya only get like this for me, don't ya, baby girl, jus' fer me." his pace is unrelenting, spearing into her like it was his last time, while all she could do was nod, mumbling yes's that all got captured in his hand. she can feel her impending orgasm, and she attempts to say something. she doesn't need to though - as he can feel it in the violent flutter of her cunt around him. thus, he doesn't allow his pace to falter, pushing into her that much harder and that much deeper, intently watching her expression in the mirror as all her muscles tense and still: her eyes rolling back, her inhale harsh against the top of his hand, the clench of her around him, the quiet sound that finally emits from her as she feels the orgasm wash over her intensely.

her body fully slumps against him, before she practically falls to her knees, hitting the tile of the bathroom as she grasps his cock and takes him in her mouth, lapping at his underside until her also releases in her mouth with a content groan. she swallows in a heartbeat, the musky taste washing over her tongue as she rises again, gripping the sink behind her to stabilize herself. joel's hands are on her jeans and underwear, helping her pull them up over her ass, before she buttons his jeans and buckles his belt as he checks their appearances, head dipping down to kiss her on the cheek as she caught her breath.

"did so good for me, baby. how're ya feelin'?" she deeply inhales, opening her eyes to look up at him.

"good - good, really good." a smile ghosts over his lips, before he opens the door of the bathroom, ushering her in front of him.

she can feel the eyes on them, and - though joel is a little less abashed - she keeps her gaze glued to the floor as they exit.

the one time she looks up is when joel cheerily waves goodbye to someone, and as she looks at the lucky recipient, she makes eye-contact with jake, who had a bit of a shocked, amused expression on his face. her face whips forwards once more, cheeks burning.

monday's gonna be fun.

[cannibalovers]

Hannibal song of the day : song no. 5

a bit about the song:

"Breezeblocks"(released in 2012) is song by alt-J, written by Thom Sonny Green, Gwilym Sainsbury, Gus Unger-Hamilton & Joe Newman(the whole group), most likely their most popular song. It starts off mellow and quiet guitar, interchanging between build ups and drops with synthesisers and a lot of deep bass, drums and other percussion instruments till the end of the song, which ends with an arrangement of overlapping vocals, like a choir. It fits genres like indie rock, indie pop, art rock and folktronica. The song itself tells a story of two lovers, where one of them wants to leave the relationship, feeling unsafe and unfulfilled but the other is obsessive and deranged and so in love that they don't let the other leave, the desire and love being so strong that they dare to hurt their lover and themselves just to make them stay. There can be another meaning to the song when taking the music video into the account(that the group themselves said is kind of different but managed to fit the vibe), which is filmed in reverse, presenting a narrative where a man kills a woman(maybe an ex or smth) who was most likely keeping his wife hostage. Since the chain of events is presented in reverse, it looks as if the man is the abusive lover trying to kill his wife, although by the end we find out he was actually defending his wife and killed the woman that kidnapped his wife, sending a message to not judge a book by its cover - don't assume and judge until you know the full story. It also references a book "Where the Wild Things Are" by Maurice Sendak, talking about a young boy who misbehaved badly at home and got scolded for it. His hostile and intense emotions sent him to an imaginary jungle with creatures called "The Wild Things". In this world, he feels appreciated and powerful as the wild things make him a king, but as soon as he realises the responsibilities a king has are hard, he wants to leave and go back home, to his loving mother who took care of him and coudl depend on, but the creatures don't want him to leave, threatening cannibalism (woah i wonder why I am writing this), saying "Oh, please don’t go! We’ll eat you whole! We love you so!". The band thought of it as a very powerful image and referenced these words in the song. In the end, the boy does manage to get away, unlike the lover of this song.

yeah sorry for the long intro to the song um. i've loved this song for years I swear I could listen to it forever so.

overall the song creates such a chilling mix between aggression and affection it's just so fucking insane and well. very hannigram. I think that was expected. Tbh i feel like it's prob known to fannibals, i made a post once asking ppl for song recommendations for hannibal and this song has shown up a few times and honestly? it fits them SO. WELL. especially when you think about the whole mizumono episode. The music video reminded me of mizumono a lot... so I'll be basing this on that episode a lot...

Pardon me for the pain i'm gonna provide today<3

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Verse 1

"She may contain the urge to run away But hold her down with soggy clothes and breezeblocks"

The girl doesn't want to be in the relationship with the man anymore, maybe recognizing that he is not in a good state of mind or she just believes they're not fit for each other anymore, whichever it is, she is contemplating getting out of the relationship, which she feels trapped in, or the man feels like he's scaring her away, hence her "running away"; He doesn't like this, being way too attached for her, he can't just let her run away after the comfort she brought him and the strong emotions he developed towards her, so he decided to weigh her down (literally) by drowning her with breezeblocks. Metaphorically, Breezeblocks are blocks used for building houses and are supposed to represent foundation here, so perhaps he has been making her stay by guilt tripping her about everything that they have built together and the fact that she can't just "leave behind" the trust, support, stability and safety that they have gained from each other - the foundation of their relationship. After she wasn't giving her idea of leaving up, he decided to actually weight her down with their foundation in forms of breezeblocks. In my eyes, the soggy clothes could also have a little bit of meaning, soggy clothes being quite uncomfortable and probably clinging to her(just like he does) - perhaps they're soggy from the times he was guilt tripping her, perhaps tears were shed and her clothes getting soggy just represent the manipulation and fakeness of them, or the severity of the situation and how long it has been going on and how this has affected her (made her feel heavy at heart and uncomfortable)

I think these lyrics summarise THE monologue in Mizumono and hannigram's plans quite perfectly. Will wanting to run away (from hannibal unfortunately...) and as Hannibal realised his plan of betrayal, reacted very aggressively by literally gutting him (sogging his clothes with blood ig) and breaking down the foundation they have built, more or so with words, but also the knife he uses. At this point I have no idea if its a linoleum knife (knife used for building, houses, rugs and FOUNDATIONS OF A BUILDING.) or a kerambit or smth else but I'll stick to the linoleum here(also check out this post about his choice for the knife, it drives me fucking insane) and say that this is how Hannibal tears down the foundation they have built together. Not only does he gut him, he talks to Will about how betrayed he feels that he was planning to leave him, after letting Will see him, after building this foundation of trust and support for each other. Hannibal was there, understanding Will and offering support and stability and he saw that Will could provide it for him back, which he chose to do only to get closer to him to betray him and take away his happiness (Will...) and stable, carefully crafted life he had. Will was something very important to Hannibal, a person that changed him and made him feel love for once, and then he lied about accepting him. He can't handle losing Will so he would make him stay and tear him down, hurt him, if that's what it would take.

"Cetirizine, your fever’s gripped me again Never kisses, all you ever send are fullstops (La la la la)"

Citrizine is a medicine used for fevers, suggesting the man is so obsessed with her that she makes him ill and stressed (overheated and overwhelmed and overthinking, hence the fever) and he needs medicine. She is constantly rejecting him, rejecting his affections and never giving any to him but instead stopping him, although it can also allude to texts, her not ending them with "xx" (kisses) but with full stops, being quite cold and distant with him.

well first, for the show it can allude to how Hannibal literally gave Will a fever and the amount of aspirin Will took cuz of that if we take this literally, but that mean the roles would have to switch so, instead in my eyes I think of how bothered and overwhelmed Will probably made Hannibal feel the more interested and obsessive he got over Will. I can't imagine how many times this man probably thought of him everyday and overthought stuff (jesus seriously hes obsessed) and how ill and diseased (although alive) Hannibal probably felt (maybe diseased and ill after he knew Will's plan...); the affections the girl is rejecting from her lover could represent how distant Will was with Hannibal at first.

"Do you know where the wild things go? They go along to take your honey (La la la la)"

This is a reference from the book "Where the Wild Things Are". The band suggested that the lyrics are about jealousy, the protagonist being jealous of other people who are catching his lovers attention instead of him, maybe this is a conversation between them about this concern, telling his lover that those people are bad and will use her and leave her(take away her honey); Maybe he's trying to convince her that he would never do that - although he technically is, eating away at whatever support and love(the honey) she has to offer for him.

I feel like this presents why Hannibal decided to isolate Will in the first place, taking away everything from him (or at least how he wants Will to see it, as we know that he was just trying to make his plan come true and return some of the things Will cared about so much). He saw everything that Will had interest in (Alana, Abigail, although he kept her for Will, Margot's child etc) as a threat to his plan of having Will all to himself and so he took them away - because he believed that they were both bad for Will but also because they were not in Hannibal's best interest. Also doesn't he like kill Will's wife in season 3 idk yet dont tell me

"Break down, now weep, build up breakfast Now let’s eat, my love, my love, love, love (La la la la)"

This probably references the many fights the couple had and protagonist's method of trying to make it up to her by trying to get back into a loving, normal routine, forgetting the fights, doing things such as letting her sleep it off and making a breakfast, starting the day over - The breakfast being his love for her. This is most likely to say that acts of service for her would be his love language and he would feel loved if she accepted his services, as well as offerings(his love) he makes for her.

for Hannibal:

do i like. have to explain this one

first of all lets be real cooking and making ppl commit accidental cannibalism is his love language (even better when they are aware of it and accept it knowingly so u dont have to make them commit accidental cannibalism to feel like u're normal for enjoying it and ure not a monster and God didn't punish u by making u eat ur own sister and enjoy it and that they accept and understand u for this and are def not doing it as a manipulation tactic to get u closer to them... that's not smth Will would do to Hannibal wdym)

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Chorus

"Muscle to muscle and toe to toe The fear has gripped me, but here I go My heart sinks as I jump up Your hand grips hand as my eyes shut And I, ah-ah-ah-ah"

The chorus seems to depict the the physical fight going between the two lovers. The protagonist doesn't seem to be in his right mind as he says that even though the fear tried to stop him, he has lost control and is now hurting his loved one (or himself) - His fear of rejection making him not handle this situation well and taking the last leap of faith to "save" the relationship by physically forcing her into it. The harm can either be to himself or her, maybe threatenening suicide and her gripping his hand to stop him, or him hitting her and her trying to deflect his hand with her own.

For Hannibal, it's literally,,gutting Will. Or any physical fight or holding each other at gun point or any murder attempt they had. In mizumono, Hannibal is visibly heartbroken by Will's decisions, maybe regretting the choices hes about to take. Maybe for once he felt some fear hurting another person, the person being Will, but he pushes through it, knowing it had to be done, to show Will how he made him feel. The physical contact in this chorus could represent the hug that they shared (the most heartbreaking hug in tv history). His feelings seem to contrast with the violence in that scene so much it makes me so fucking depressed

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Verse 2

"[...}She bruises, coughs, she splutters pistol shots Hold her down with soggy clothes and breezeblocks"

The words have a violent imagery to them, maybe to show the lover fighting back and still not agreeing to stay, maybe even trying to hurt him, her words feeling like pistol shots to him, or it could represent her drowning, trying to catch a breath. If that's what is happening, then he tries to remind himself of his point and to not help her, because she will run away - it's better to hold her down and make her stay.

Will's most common weapons is a gun or his hands and words, so i guess it fits his image quite well(not to mention the amounts of time he held Hannibal at gun point lol). These clearly never seemed to have affected Hannibal (until the last supper) and he continues through with his plan of taking everything away from Will, showing what he has lost by not staying by Hannibal's side.

"She’s morphine, queen of my vaccine My love, my love, love, love (La la la la)"

The protagonist compares her to morphine, a drug used to help with pain - clearly he is very dependent on her and uses her for emotional stability and support, losing that would make him insecure and breakdown, he can't lose her after the vulnerability he shared with her. This also fits with the expression "Love is a drug", which to him, her love is clearly like a drug, he has become obsessed, needing her love all the time, addicted to her, suggesting the intensity of emotions she makes him feel and just how obsessed he is - that's why he can't let her go.

The contrast between the dark, violent and destructive comparisons he makes of her, ignoring those destructive feelings and calling her his "love" really deepens the juxtaposition between aggression and affection the song potrays and shows just how blind the protagonist is.

I feel like this fits Hannibal's feelings about Will quite well, considering how obsessed he is with him, to the point of destruction and isolating him to have him all to himself (and also the fact that my man was CRYING after putting Will in prison, missing their therapy sessions. LIKE BITCH). He really puts Will high up on a pedestal, suggesting just how important and addictive Will is to him and how dependent he has become on Will after opening up to him, maybe even feeling like Will numbs his pain and loneliness of never being accepted for who he actually was.

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Verse 3

"[...]Germolene, disinfect the scene, my love, my love, love, love But please don't go, I love you so, my lovely"

This is the aftermath of the protagonist killing his lover. He realises that he killed her, getting an anticeptic(clearly unprepared for this and panicking, using some at-home antiseptic instead of something proper) to disinfect the scene off of his DNA. The realisation quickly hits him of what he has done, making him spiral into a breakdown as he realises that his actions didn't make her stay, they made her dead forever.

Hannibal clearly doesn't disinfect the scene in mizumono, he doesn't even wear his plastic suit or use the cloth that he always uses to not leave finger prints, there was no point in hiding anything anymore, Will helped FBI see through him, although we do see him "cleansing" himself off of the events by walking in the rain and trying to "comfort" Will, telling him to "wade into the quiet of the stream". I don't think these specific lyric apply to the situation much disinfection-wise, although it can represent Hannibal's state of mind, especially after realising everything he has done and the regret that came with it(does he feel guilty tho? i have no idea but the begging and love confessions in this line def represent his obsession and love for Will which left him very heartbroken after everything that was done)

also could represent Will........ him wanting to turn back, if he could only reverse time, undo the events so Abigail lives and everyone else lives..............ouch

------------------------------

Refrain

"Please don't go, please don't go I love you so, I love you so Please don't go, please don't go I love you so, I love you so Please break my heart (Hey!) Please don't go, please don't go I love you so, I love you so Please don't go, please don't go I love you so, I love you so Please break my heart[...]"

the most beautiful part of the song in my opinion tbh. The layers, the build up, the overlapping vocals, it's all just so overwhelming and emotional and vulnerable.

the protagonist spirals, realising what he has done but not wanting it to be true, he's not ready yet to let go of his lover, slowly, he's losing self control and giving into his violent desires, he threatens cannibalism if she goes away(she can't really do anything my dude...) as he frantically confessse to her that he loves her. He just loves her so much and needs her so much, the desire is so strong that he will consume her if it means that she stays right beside him(or inside him), craving that impossible closeness, it's a way to forever remain with a loved one. This whole refrain is just so incredibly contradicting and depressing and desparate its insane

now, it's no secret that Hannibal doesn't want to let Will go and even consume him. He wants him to live but at the same time he wants to taste him, devour him. To love is to consume, but to consume is to devour and transform in reusable energy. He wants him as close as possible and for Will to accept his desires and give himself up, let him be his - but clearly that's not what Will wanted (yet).

...This one is so straightfoward especially considering Hannibal that I don't even know what to say really. The song itself just says it all perfectly.

in conclusion they are fucking insane for this and breezeblocks is the ultimate hannigram (specifically mizumono) song. 11/10

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additional notes:

was so excited for this one but i actually wrote less than i thought wow but maybe thats also cuz most of the song repeats. or im tired

idk if its cuz i literally dont know how to explain cannibalism as a metaphor of love or why but. at the same time the song just describes pretty well on its own

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my playlist

hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading<3

[vader-anakin]

"A Place In My Heart" - Bucky Barnes x f! Reader, Part 1

Here I am again! I've had this scene playing over my head for a hot minute so I decided to give it a shot. Fluff Bucky and broken Bucky is what I'm writing about, but let's see how this one works. This is the first chapter, but you can check out the prologue here.

Word count: 1.1k

***************

Bucky:

I ended up consuming a lot more alcohol than I expected, and although I barely felt the effects of the booze every time I drank it, something seemed to have changed at that moment. She gave me a ride home from work and we went to a bar near my apartment. I already knew the place, I knew which people went there, which guaranteed my safety - mainly because of her. We were talking a mix of stories about her past and how I lived as a super soldier, and I noticed how quickly time passed when I was distracted.

(Y/N) was a company I never expected to get to have, and despite the differences between us - she is a successful journalist and I am a broken man trying to save the world - things seemed to work out. Doctor Christina would be proud if she saw me interacting with anyone other than Sam. At one point during my reverie, I felt her hand discreetly grab my wrist as a warning that something was wrong. With a subtle movement, I turned to look around the establishment, looking for any hint of danger. Her touch, however, for some reason caused a strange vibration and involuntary spasms in my right arm, something I could hardly feel with a touch.

I'm normally not one of touching other people, something I've been trying to change since I started psychiatric treatment, but it wasn't like I could - or even wanted - to get involved with anyone else. Perhaps the response had something to do with the alcohol. Among so many people there, I couldn't find anything unusual, despite noticing brute figures like tall, muscular men exchanging words in louder tones on account of the drink. I used my metallic hand and rested it on her hand, as if to say that everything was fine and she understood, nodding, soon breaking the contact between the two of us. I knew that hardly anything could happen there, I knew the owner and some regulars. My mind was always on the lookout, so I was always analyzing every single person who walked in and out the door.

That is the little bubble of comfort that I hoped (Y/N) could enjoy when she was with me, or even around Sam. The TV announced the appearance of John Walker in another public safety debate and I felt my eyes roll. Damn Wilson, not accepting that shield from Steve still killed me inside.

"That guy again," I growled, staring to the man's face. Next to me, the journalist wrote down a few words on her cell phone. Everything she said about the new "Captain America" ​​she kept with her in case of any trouble. And I was sure one day it would come. I felt her icy hand - which was previously holding a bottle of beer - grabbing my chin roughly, making me look at her. I got the message.

"If you don't stop looking at that TV, I'm going to break that bottle over your head", (Y/N) snapped. There, we were trying to distract ourselves from anything involving my missions and Walker. I laughed at the way she tried to sound scary, even in a joking tone. I felt the alcohol rise up my cheeks as it coursed through my bloodstream. I already knew I was going to have a problem with a hangover the next day, but I didn't want to think about it now.

"Sorry, tell me about your childhood. What did you use to do?", I questioned, seeing her eyes shine when starting the conversation back about how she liked to play all day in the street at home. I also had a flash of memories from that time, but at the same time, the memory of the moment I fell off that train washed over me and I tried not to let her know my mind wasn't there for a few long seconds.

When she dropped me off at home, I began to feel the weight of all the whiskey and beer I shouldn't have mixed, but insisted on drinking, imagining myself resistant to it all. My body heaved as soon as I changed my clothes and lay down on the couch, while I watched (Y/N) turn on the television, looking for a glass of water in the kitchen. It wouldn't take me all the water in the gallon to wash out whatever was still stuck in my head at that moment, but it would help me get rid of at least some of the alcohol in my blood. She sat next to me, looking at her phone for a while, while I shook off the drunk feeling.

"Thanks, (Y/N)," I said, getting her attention. She looked at me, putting her cell phone in her purse. "You know, for today. For agreeing with Sam and the doc to make me more social." She smiled and gave a light laugh at the same time.

"Sociable isn't quite the word I would use. But now at least you've become a less grumpy, and a more talkative Bucky."

I nodded, it wasn't so easy to be able to express myself the way I'd like to, but over time and with psychiatric treatment I managed to be more me, more James Barnes, more Bucky Barnes and less The Winter Soldier. When I took her hand to shake it as a thank you, I felt the same vibe as before and when I looked into her eyes, I could see compassion. Having a friend there, even though I had already met other women (and not kept in touch as I should have), brought me a thread of hope that I would still be able to change myself.

I came closer to greet her with a kiss on the cheek - which I learned to be a custom - smelled the mixture of floral perfume and the bitterness of beer through her light breath and my head made a noise as if my neurons had done a backflip. When I changed the course of her face, I realized why I avoided approaching any female person in this way so much. My lips stuck like a magnet to her pink mouth in a long peck and, intoxicated, I felt I hadn't done the right thing. I'd be trapped there, and, even worse, I would be automatically putting her in danger by simply being with me. But the feeling was better than anything I had experienced before.

"Guess I should've knocked before", the sound of Sam's voice brought me back to reality and I felt (Y/N) stiffen in front of me. It scared both of us, and it made us break the kiss immediately.

[minniiaa]

I AM FROTHING AT THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE!!!!11!!!!1!!!!!! YOU GOT ME BARKING

First of all, thank you ^-^ <333

You've not only satisfied my simp heart with bottom Law but also my yearn for and emotionally constipated Law being proven wrong

Second, I have more ideas or course :D

This is a gigantic leap from my previous… contributions, but I want to share my love for something I enjoy just as much as my little guys (grown ass men) getting railed in such a way it puts the trolley problem to shame. Sweet, sweet aftercare, I dunno what about it that enthralls me but just- like- I- jsbdudbskospaks-

It's an honest 50/50 whether the aftercare situations I think up actually comes after sex or if it's all I think of. It has me by the throat man.

Something about Law feeling safe enough to tell Luffy when he's had enough without feeling the need to force or threaten Luffy, or not holding out far past his limit so Luffy doesn't “get bored of him” makes my brain melt and mold back into the shape of a sea urchin.

OH, MORE THOUGHTS!!! >:0

Here me out, modern au, Law comes back to their apartment more tired than he's ever been after the longest shift he's pulled in a while. All he wants, more than anything, is their bed, screw the shower, he couldn't stand long enough to take one and he knows the moment his knee bends further than what's needed to walk his body will collapse. So he heads straight to bed, unsurprisingly, Luffy is awake and anticipating Law's return to give him his “goodnight kiss” that became the only constant thing Luffy upholds. Law tosses himself into bed as soon as he gets his pants off, leaving them on the floor along with his shirt, and Luffy is immediately on him. Not to Law's dismay, he knows he won't last long but the fact that Luffy still wants him when he's coated in sweat and deadweight kind of turns him on. He's right, he doesn't last when Luffy eats him out while running only the pad of his thumb up and down the base of Law's shaft, and GOD does everything *hurt. Law doesn't get that post-nut daze, instead he's hit with an ache deep in every muscle and bone from the souls of his feet to the back of his head that he has no choice but to succumb to. So badly does he want to feel Luffy all over him, all up in him, but he can't ignore his limit if he tries. He gets what he wants anyways, without having said a word Law's exhausted body is crushed by the concrete hold Luffy calls a hug, and Law couldn't be more grateful for Luffy's mysterious workout routine. It's the silent communication of Law's needs that relaxes him further, not needing to rely on his voice for Luffy to know, to understand, his pain makes it all the more easier to just let Luffy take care of him.

You got me out here writing paragraphs man, you've changed my chemical components on a spiritual level lol. Also, I stand by that my headcanon dumps are a bit much, so just know that I don't expect a masterpiece response every time. I MEAN THEY ARE ENCOURAGED CAUSE GYATT DAMN, would ABSOLUTELY eat your writing while dressed better than for a wedding and a napkin in my lap, but I dunno, I don't want you to think I'm trying to make you pump out tailored content for me. Definitely just like my own self-consciousness wanting me to make that clear sorry lol I think this might be the largest headcanon dump I've shared.

-💫💀💫

ANONNN I AM SO SORRY I JUST CHECKED MY INBOX AND SAW THIS BEAUTY!!

I am sooo glad you enjoyed my little oneshot I wrote and it scratched the itch of your last message. I just took that idea and RANNNNNN with it I have to admit.

I am also super happy that you came up with your own head canons omfg I'm frothing. I definitely can't write a whole story this time, but you inspired me to add some of my own little head canons because it was just too good!

You are hilarious and I am picturing you dressed for a wedding waiting for dinner but it's actually just my writing. Don't feel self-conscious, I live for this shit. You can leave headcanons whenever though I can't promise I'll be able to get back asap, I will always slurp it up and add my own thoughts if it's something that speaks to me. Maybe one day you'll decide to share your own stories and I will be the one who gets to leave my headcanons in there! :)

With that being said, here are my thoughts:

I loveee Lulaw aftercare (and just aftercare in general cause who doesn't like the sweet moments after getting your insides rearranged), especially your situation. I'm deceased at the thought of Luffy always waiting up for Law's goodnight kiss. Does he do it because he wants Law to be the last thing he sees every night before bed? Or because he wants to make sure that he's awake if Law needs him after his long hard days at work? Maybe both, Luffy is self-indulgent and also wants to do whatever he can to make Law feel loved and comfortable.

Sometimes Law needs Luffy to fuck him until he forgets about how shit his day was and how maybe he lost a patient and he just needs his mind and body filled with nothing but Luffy who can push him to the edge in unimaginable ways. Luffy never says no, he could eat Law for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He just loves watching the way his normally tense and irritated lover falls apart underneath him. Other times, Law just needs his partner to give him a quick and much-needed release before pulling him into his arms and giving him the attention he craves when he can barely think straight after a stressful day, his body screaming at him to just shut off and let go.

Luffy knows Law so well that he never has to tell him what he wants which is great because Law is terrible about asking for things. He never wants to be a burden, never wants to feel like he's taking too much from Luffy when he's already given him everything he's ever wanted and more. Luffy feels Law's body going limp after he comes, how he sighs contently and buries his face into his chest. Law just needs him there to recharge him, to soothe his weary body and soul and Luffy loves him so much he would never think of doing anything different.

Luffy knows exactly what Law needs in those quiet moments in the dark. He runs his hands over Law's aching body, healing him with his soft touches. Soft kisses are pressed against his skin, no intent to go anywhere further behind them even though Luffy yearns to feel Law around him, to hear his pretty sounds echoing through his ears. That can wait for another time, right now he will just satisfy Law with his gentle caresses. He wraps his arms around Law, pulling his weary form into his arms, so close that he begins to forget where he ends and Law begins just the way he likes it.

Law usually gets so flustered and cranky when Luffy spills his feeling out but they've been doing this for so long now that Luffy knows Law will let him say whatever he wants when they're like this and he takes full advantage of it. He plays with Law's hair, telling him how much he loves him, how he's so lucky to have him in his life, how he wants to be with him forever. He lists all of the thing he loves about him-his compassion, dedication, strength, and beauty.

Law loves the way Luffy's voice sounds when he whispers these sweet nothings into his ear. He's so calm and quiet, so different from his normally loudmouthed self. Sometimes he responds, though usually only with a "thank you" or "I love you". Words are hard for him even though he feels just as strongly for Luffy. It brings him comfort knowing that Luffy never expects him to say anything back, that he does this simply because he wants to.

Once, in a fit of insecurity, Law asked Luffy if he feels neglected because Law is so terrible with words and even though he tries, he just can't express how he feels inside. Luffy simply smiled at him and said "I know how much you love me. You don't need to say it. I just like to tell you because sometimes you get in your head like you are right now and forget". Another time, he apologized to Luffy for being too exhausted to move a muscle after Luffy went down on him. Just like before, Luffy smiled and said "Making you feel good makes me feel good. Taking care of you makes me happy."

After that, Law realized he might just be the luckiest man in the world. He stopped worrying about if Luffy wanted or needed more from him on these days when he he couldn't give anymore. He graciously took all the affection he was given, allowing Luffy's calming voice to lull him to sleep, saying words Law would never be able to accept were all for him.

That's all for today, sorry if it was a little messy I am too tired to proofread any further. Thank you once again for the food for thought <3333