#i ate a strawberry and then started feeling nauseous and in my mind i was like SOMEBODY INJECTED THE STRAWBERRIES WITH SOMETHING

[richardgrimes]

the fact that i threw up after i left junior prom not because of typical prom tomfoolery but because i had what i found out was strep throat

[reallyromealone]

Hi, I don't know if you write for the COD (Call of Dutty) boys, but I had this idea from a dream, started writing and now I'm out of creativity, thought maybe I could ask you to pick up where I left off ( if you don't mind, of course) I'll send what I've written so far.

Simon "Ghost" Riley Alpha x  Ômega male reader (red)

(Established relationship, married.)

Simon would be returning home today from a mission that lasted 3 months, he was very anxious to meet him. Although we exchange messages during his absence, it's much better to see him in person.

I understand his work, I know he needs to be away for a long time. And we enjoy it a lot when he's here.

I heard a loud knock on the door, and I already knew who it was.

“Simon!”

My husband's strong scent surrounded me, so I hugged him, I felt his arms go around my waist, hugging me back tightly.

“You're okay, right? No injuries or limbs were lost, right?

I pulled back a little to look at him fully, noticing another man behind Simon, my face turned strawberry red.

"You didn't tell me you'd bring a friend..."

He wrapped his arm around my waist, and kissed my cheek sweetly.

“Sorry, it was short notice, dear. This is John MacTavish, he works with me.

The red in my cheeks had faded, so I introduced myself accordingly.

— My name is [Name], I'm Simon's husband, it's nice to meet you, John.

He looked surprised, I don't know why.

"Call me Soap, sir."

I chuckled softly at the formality of it.

— No need to be so formal, call me [Name], okay? – Soap nodded – Let's go in and eat, I made Simon's favorite.

We all went into the house, ate and talked, it was so much fun. Simon made uncle jokes the whole time, but we laughed and I could see another persona of my husband, beyond the friendship of the two alphas at the table. In the end Soap stayed to sleep, I tidied up the guest room with Simon's help.

We went to our room after Soap was settled, and we showered together.

Now we were lying in bed, Simon's arms around me, and my head on his neck with my hands on his chest.

— I missed you, I was afraid you wouldn't come back to me this time.

My voice echoed through the silent room, Simon held me in his arms, kissing my head.

"I'm sorry, [Name]. I couldn't send many messages on this mission. I missed you too, honey.

I looked at him, his blond hair, his blue eyes staring at me with so much feeling I felt like I was going to drown in the sea of ​​his eyes.

“I love you, Simon "Ghost" Riley.

The smile that graced his lips made me happy. I love this man for everything he is, absolutely everything.

“I love you too, [First Name] [Last Name].

Our lips met in a kiss full of passion and when I saw I was already in his lap, with his hands walking my body. I started running lube on my entrance, and Simon growled into my neck, licking the mark he'd already made years ago on our wedding night.

That night we made love.

●

The next day, Soap went home. It was just Simon and me.

We watched a movie, made lunch and spooned to sleep at night (after having sex, of course).

A week after Simon's arrival, he was called up for yet another mission. This had happened before, countless times in fact. But, I was sadder than ever. He was going to go on the mission with Soap, in a way that comforted me.

He was leaving now.

"Promise you'll take care of yourself, and text me if you can." Don't die, and come back to me, Simon.

Tears welled up in my eyes so fast I couldn't process them properly.

“Okay, I promise. I'll come back to you, love. I swear.

He kissed me tenderly, and I hugged him tightly.

“I love you, Simon. Come back to me.

“I love you too, [Name]. I'll be back, okay? Until then, take care, love.

One more kiss and he got in the car.

— Bye, [Name]! Don't worry, I'll take care of the lieutenant!

"See you, Soap!" Thanks! Be careful!

[&AlarmClock]One month later[&AlarmClock]

It's been a month since Simon left for the mission, I've been really nauseous the last few days, and more sensitive to smells and... everything, which is very irritating.

Simon has been little responsive, he says things are tough there (wherever he is), but I can't know as it's confidential. Today, a friend of mine, Naveen, was coming to spend the day with me, he's an omega, he said he's going to bring me a gift.

— I'm here, [Nickname]! Let's use your gifts NOW!

He burst in, since he had a spare key, and I was kind of busy puking my lunch in the upstairs bathroom.

- UP HERE!

I heard him go up and into the bedroom, he must have seen the mess I call a nest on top of the bed.

"Do you want to take a piss, handsome?"

I looked up from the toilet, watching him dangle three pregnancy tests, leaning against the door.

'No, that's impossible, Simon and I always use protection.

He smiles wryly, as if he knows me like nobody else, which makes me angry, since he really knows me like nobody else.

“I'm just going to brush my teeth, Nav.

"I'm waiting in the bedroom." I'll leave the test here in the sink.

He left, and I took a deep breath. I brushed my teeth and took the tests, dreading what would happen. I need to control myself, otherwise Simon will sense my confusion.

I did the whole procedure and waited and waited and waited some more.

"Is it supposed to take this long?" Naveen!

— You need to calm down, [Nickname], it's five minutes. Not long. If it's positive, will you like it?

“Simon and I never talk about puppies, but I'd like to have a mini Simon, or a mini me, running around the house. It would be even more perfect if he were here. Discovering with me.

Tears welling up in my eyes and without me noticing, Naveen pulled me into a hug.

“I'm sure he'd like to be here too, [Name]. It's ready, want me to see it?

Just nodding, Naveen went towards the sink, where I left the tests.

“Positive, love.

I cried, and didn't know what to feel. What would Simon think? Would he like it or not?

But at the same time, I started to feel happy, a

mini Simon. A puppy.

Worry began to settle in me, but it didn't come from me. Simon.

My phone rang in the bedroom, and I hurried to answer it, seeing that it was Simon. I answered.

- What happened? Are you okay? Did someone hurt you?

Simon's worried voice made me cry harder, which only made the wave of worry grow.

“I'm fine, Simon, II'm fine. N-no need to worry...

"Say that after you stop crying!" What happened, [Name]?

"Lieutenant, is everything okay?"

"Who is [Name]?"

Muffled voices can be heard over the call, but you didn't recognize any.

'I'm pregnant, Simon... We're going to be daddies.'

Silence.

"Lieutenant...? LIEUTENANT!"

"Simon, what happened?" SIMON!

You heard a thud, but soon someone spoke to you.

“Hi, I'm Price and I don't know what you said, but Ghost passed out. Oh, it's waking up, teach me that later.

"Give me my cell!"

“[Name], were you serious? It is really true?

“We're going to be daddies, Simon.

- Holy crap...!

A tsunami of happiness hit me and I knew it was coming from him. From my alpha. Father of my puppy.

"Fuck, I'm so happy!" When did you find out?

I realized that Naveen had left the room, giving me space.

“Now, actually. Our pup, Simon. I think I'm going to explode with happiness.

"Lieutenant...? Are you h-"

"Shut up, Gaz!" Sorry I'm not with you, love. I so wanted to be there right now.

“It's okay, Simon. You know I understand.

“I don't know when the mission will end, when I'll be back, darling.

“Simon, it's okay. It's your job, love. I'll update you on everything while you don't come back, I'll wait for you, no matter how long it takes.

- I know.

"Ghost, meeting."

- I have to go. I love you honey. He cares for himself.

- I love you too.

And hung up.

[&AlarmClock]One month later[&AlarmClock]

A month has flown by and my belly is already getting rounder, Naveen is spending the pregnancy here at home to help me with everything. Today we are going to do an ultrasound to see how the puppy is doing, as Naveen's family is largely made up of doctors, we are going to his family's hospital.

"Let's go, [Nickname]!" I'm dying to see the little bean!

I went down the stairs slowly, careful not to fall. I spoke to Simon that he was going to do the ultrasound in the morning, but he still hasn't responded. I finished down the stairs and we went to Naveen's car.

[&AlarmClock]

We were already in the ultrasound room, the doctor was applying a cold gel on my stomach.

"First pup?"

— Yes, I'm very excited!

"Soon, we'll be able to see him soon..."

The doctor started to put a device on my belly, and I could see it on a small TV.

— Let's see... Here, he's quite small. But apparently it's healthy for 2 months.

He really looked like a bean, but he had a heart beating there, a brain that would develop. My little pup...

“Naveen, take a picture, please. I need to send this to Simon. Our little pup...

Naveen took the picture, and he was crying. Like me.

[&AlarmClock]

We left the hospital and went to eat.

Seeing that my son was growing up healthy got me thinking about names. I didn't want to decide without Simon, but he has been less and less responsive.

It must be tough there, I hope he's okay.

When we get home, I see a car parked in front of the house. Did he come back?

“Hey, [Name]!

Soap got out of the car, but no one else came.

—Soap! It is good too?

I stopped in front of him worried, why wasn't Simon with him?

“The lieutenant will be here shortly, don't worry. I came forward to piss him off.

He laughed, making me feel lighter. Simon is fine.

- How are you? Is the baby okay?

He looked excited, happy.

“We're back from the ultrasound now. Oh, I forgot to introduce you, this is Naveen, my friend. Naveen, this is John.

Naveen blushed looking at Soap, making me smirk.

— Nice to meet you, John.

Soap just grinned at Naveen. These two will stick together.

“Ah, [Name], the lieutenant won't come alone. The task force will come with it. Ghost asked to notify, it was last minute, again.

I hope google translator works (giggling nervously) And if you don't like it, just ignore it (sorry to bother you). Towards the end, I was thinking about the baby being born, and everyone standing around it, admiring its cuteness. And of course Soap and Naveen together!

Oh, and as you might have noticed, it would be set in an ABO universe. Again, sorry if this bothers you, don't do it if you don't want to!

Can the baby be a redhead with Simon's (Ghost) eyes, please?

My goodness this is long, holy crap

Anyways, I'm not gonna finish your fic for you BUT you can DM me and we can bounce ideas maybe

But please don't send 17 screenshots worth of a request

[thefanbasewhore]

I feel like Din would be so protective over his pregnant girl 🥰🥰

Clan leader Din coming at you 😁😁🥰

Content/Warning: Clan Leader Din is just a little protective over his pregnant riduur. Mentions of sex, and all that. I got carried away lol, it went a little off topic. Not edited.

Din/female reader.

It wasn't necessary planned, the pregnancy. After Din had finally convinced you to marry him after months of asking. While you weren't against the idea from the beginning it was the reasoning behind it, the elders of the clan pushed for it and even offered Din an alternative spouse to further to clan.

They would prefer it actually, combining the clan with another mandalorian. That was the problem, you weren't mandalorian. The moment you arrived with Din you could tell you were unwelcomed.

The elderly would only address Din, the men of the claim wouldn't even look in your direction, and the females all wanted to be you.

It wasn't always like this, you and Din first met when he was just a bounty hunter, but after the destruction of the Razor Crest and getting rid of Moff Gideon the mandalorian race had finally resurfaced and the the leader of those people was chosen by the armour; the backbone of the people.

That marriage was a celebration, the clan was whole and the elders were happy. The night was filled with dancing, gifts, layers and layers of beads laid against their chests.

Din was happy, the silver beskar was painted with while lines, smudged from the elders, swirls of symbol that connected their souls forever. Eyes drift to his riduur, laughing and smiling as the children gather around you.

Grogu was happy as well, and safe, that's all the mattered. That night he made love to you only in the beads, a giant bed filled with pellets and pellets of furs, finally able to take his helmet off. It was a surreal moment, never had you pressured him, tried to rip the creed away but instead watched nervously as shaky fingers slowly lift the helmet.

You barely have a minute to register those brown eyes, soft curve of his nose, the square jaw as lips meet yours with a rough, wanting speed.

It was only a few weeks later when he started to notice a small difference, you were tired more, felt sick throughout the day, certain foods made you nauseous.

"Are you okay baby?" Din's voice was just above a whisper, cool basker against your ear. The head of the table was only occupied by you and him but that chattering of the dinning hall was loud, at least a hundred voices.

He couldn't help but notice you haven't touched your food, while he could not eat in front of the others he still ate with his clan, so did the other mandalorians who took the same creed as him. Your fork just moved the food around the plate, you haven't had an appetite in weeks and when you did eat, minutes later it was coming back up.

"Mmm," you agree, "Just not hungry."

Din's fingers firmly press against your eblow, concerned. "You haven't eaten dinner in a week."

"I-I don't know, I just feel sick."

Din takes the fork from your hand, stabbing the hunk of meat that hasn't been touched. "I don't like you not eating."

The fork is brought to her lips, a way of making sure his riduur is fed. Din doesn't like the look on your face, side eyeing with a hint of disgust. The smell brought an instant phase of nausea, being so close to your lips doesn't help.

Din nudges it further. "Eat."

"I can't."

"Eat now." His tone was not one to argue with, sharp and without a second thought your lips wrap around the fork. The moment the chunk of meat hits your tongue, bile starts to rise.

Trying not to make a scene you raise from the table, stumbling away from the dinning hall, no longer in site as the contents of your stomach empty into the grass.

"Cyar'ika." Soft hands find your lower back, his other leather gloves gathering the loose strands of hair. "What's wrong?"

He rubs soft circles against your back, "Tell me, you're scaring me."

Your hand rest against his chest for stability, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. Eyes meet his visor with a sigh. "I'm pregnant Din."

Ever since that day Din had been stuck at your side, the promise of a child was all it took. Family was important, it was held above all on the creed.

It had started early, at meetings, at dinner times he would have you close, sometimes even sitting on his lap, hands playing with the ends of your hair.

Any kind of physical activity was out of the question, small walks were allowed but only if himself or a clan member was present. Which of course none of them minded, protecting the future of the clan.

A child born into the clan was everything, a gift, foundlings were the future but born children a gift especially of a clan leader.

The moment you started showing he couldn't keep his hands to himself, always had to have his hand pressed against it, kiss the round bump when alone.

"Go sit down." His soft hands nudge you towards the direction of the table, "I'll get your plate for you sweet girl."

"I can get it, you don't-"

Din shakes his head, "Go, I'll be right there."

"Don't forget the -"

"Strawberries." He answers for you, "I know sweetheart, I'll get extra."

"Oh and -"

"Cake, I know Cyar'ika. Go sit down, be careful of the children." By children he meant the small children who would run circles around you, press small hands against your belly with happiness. All their parents telling them about the baby, a special baby that helped saved the future of the clan.

Towards the middle of your pregnancy, you started the nursery. With that came lots of bickering, he didn't want you high to paint the walls on the chair, he didn't want you too low roll out the area rug, he didn't want you breathing in the paint, getting into the tub alone, or just being alone.

It was suffocating, but you understood why. After Grogu was taken, Din thought he'd never see his son again. He couldn't take the heart break, the pain, and promised he would never let either of his children out of his sight again.

"What are you doing?" Din's voice was low and hoarse, tiredly wrapping his arms around you from the back, resting against your belly.

Towards the end of your pregnancy Din was more laid back, that exact reason being you being on bed rest for the next few weeks. "I hear Grogu."

"I'll get him, go back to sleep."

You decide to ignore him despite his protest. The small groan followed by, "Sweetheart."

Din followed behind, watching you waddle across the hall to the dark room. "What's wrong my love?"

It was for Grogu, concerned why he isn't sleeping already. When the light flickers on Grogu's arms reaching for his mother. The small child presses his small hands against your cheeks with a small wail.

His eyes meet his father's behind him, smiling sweetly. Din presses a kiss against your shoulder, hand rubbing the petal ears. "Why aren't you sleeping buddy?"

The child's hand run lower until he's whining, trying to reach for the swell of your belly. It was something he often did. It was no secret the child was special, he knew things, felt things. He would often bring you flowers when he played outside, placing them right on your belly. From that you gathered he was trying to tell you something, he would have a sister.

Din's head rest against your neck as you rock the small child against your chest. Din's heart has never been so full. All of you safe, together and happy. As he rest his hands against the swell, his future daughter he lets a sigh out. "Thank you."

"for what?"

"Giving me everything I wanted, being everything I ever wanted."

[shorkbrian]

Ahhh, if it's not too much trouble, can you do another part to that pervy sero post where he makes the reader watch porn and stuff, but this time like... fully forces himself onto reader to make sure sure learns abt the stuff he forces her to watch, or maybe he gets kaminari to join in to prove how "normal" it is for friends to watch porn together? Thank you so much!!

Hi!!! bro of course I can!

Prelude - Sero is saved the trouble of thinking up an excuse to get reader to come “hang out” with him because reader gets some bad anxiety the second he approaches her! I tried to make it clear that reader is like HECKA anxious but doesn’t realize it cause sometimes!!! you aren’t able to tell!!! and if your partner is a specific breed of awful, they’ll take your hesitance and vulnerability and swoop in and coerce you into doing something you aren’t sure about. Also, Sero knows a lot about sex and is manipulating reader and giving her false information. Don’t be like Sero.

Prompt - above babeyyy

Pairings - Sero Hanta X Reader

Warnings - NSFW, coercion, dub con, non con. Sero is a manipulative little bitch.

Music - https://open.spotify.com/track/7po7c8LzxTZ0ybU41qT5gD?si=5a1Bo4SURJmaQGw-gky-kA

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey, (Y/N)!”

You ignored the cheerful voice calling your name, continued walking through the crowd of students towards your next class, backpack slung over your shoulder.

“(Y/N)! Wait up!”

You knew who the voice belonged to. You knew Sero was just going to ask you to hang out in his room after class, or wanted to show you another inappropriate picture or video off one of the lewd sites he frequents. If you were unlucky, he’d pull you away from class, make up some stupid excuse and beg for you to come hang out with him cause he’s “lonely” and needs a friend.

Ever since he had you jerk him off (over his boxers) in his room, you’d avoided your friend like the plague. You felt so awkward around him now, embarrassed in his presence. You really felt uncomfortable spending time with him, even when the rest of your friend group was present. He had said it was a normal thing for friends to do, that he and Denki watched porn together all the time. 

Still, you just felt…. Well, weird. The whole situation was weird and you preferred not to think about it, to just avoid Sero and keep your head down, focus on school and training and your other friends.

Sero had other plans.

A hand grabbed your shoulder, spinning you around to face , almost throwing you off balance.

“Why’re you ignoring me? I called your name like, six times bro.” Sero pouted down at you, eyes big and round and you could already tell he was going to guilt you into doing something you’d rather not.

Taking a deep breath, you forced a quick smile on your face, before answering your friend.

“Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Aw, it’s fine.” He patted your shoulder, before guiding you (pushing you) to the side of the hallway, out of the general traffic of the other students. “Anyways, I’ve missed you. I feel like we haven’t been able to hang out, y’know… just the two of us.”

He hadn’t removed his hand from your shoulder, soothingly rubbing his thumb over your uniform. It was hard to focus on what he was saying while he was touching you, while he was pressing you closer to the wall, shielding you from the throng of other students with his body. It was so loud, everyone talking to their friends, talking about homework and the upcoming math test and-

“Are you okay dude? You seem kind of…. Out of it.”

You were kind of breathing hard, and your stomach felt bad. It hadn’t before? Maybe you were coming down with something. You shrugged, trying to knock his hand off your shoulder. His dimpled smile faltered as he drew back, giving your body a concerned once-over. 

“Actually, I don’t feel too good right now Sero… I think I’m gonna go see the nurse.” Before you could push past him and head for the nurse, Sero grabbed your hand, putting his other hand up to your forehead. His skin was cool, soft, fingers long as they pressed to check your temperature. 

“Hm, you don’t have a fever. You probably just ate something bad at lunch. I have Tums in my room, c’mon, they’ll help you feel better!” The male grabbed your wrist, tugged you away from the wall, hesitating when you dug your heels in, reluctant to go with him. 

“Ah, that’s okay!” You sputtered, “I have class and I don’t wanna miss it, and uh, I don’t know what “Tums” are, and my mom told me I should try to stay away from medicine cause-“

Sero’s abrupt laugh cut into your rambling, and you stopped talking, looking up at your friend in confusion.

“Tums are antacids that help settle upset tummies dude! I take them sometimes after I smoke a bit too much.” He winked at you, dimples showing as he smiled.

 “Plus class is gonna start any second now, you’d be late anyways. Might as well skip.”

The bell rang.

You fidgeted, looking around at the now-empty hall, not realizing that the other students had slowly dissipated, filing into their respective classrooms. Sero was right, you didn’t feel feverish, you just felt nauseous and shaky. Maybe taking an antacid would help? Sero was your friend, he was just looking out for you, it wouldn’t hurt to skip class and hang out in his room, would it?

Your stomach twinged, and another wave of nausea bubbled up inside of you. That made up your mind. 

“Alright, fine. But if I get in trouble, it’s your fault!” You conceded, smiling as Sero pumped his fist in the air.

“Yeah! Hangout time!”

“But -“ You paused, biting your lip. This was an awkward thing to say to him would he think you’re a bad friend? “Can you uh… well, can you not do anything like….. weird?”

You hoped he knew what you meant by “weird”.  

“Weird” was touching your friends in intimate places, or having them touch you.

 “Weird” was watching porn together, asking your friends which part they thought was the sexiest. “Weird” was the feeling that arose whenever Sero approached you, the sinking of your stomach, the gross taste in your mouth, the cold sweat that broke out whenever he asked if you wanted to “relieve some stress” with him.

“Of course, I’d never do /anything/ to you that you wouldn’t like. I’m your friend, (Y/N), and friends take care of each other.” Sero assured you, letting go of your wrist to give your shoulder a reassuring pat. You exhaled in relief, smiling back at him, before Sero started moving again, motioning for you to follow him. “Now, let’s go get to helping you feel better.”

——

Sero pulled open his desk drawer, urging you to “Go ahead and get comfortable man” with a gentle nod of his head towards the bed. You let your backpack slip to the floor, sighing when the heavy weight left your shoulders. Sero hadn’t made his bed that morning, but  you figured he probably hadn’t been expecting company.  

Smoothing out the blankets, you took a seat, watching your black-haired friend sift through his desk drawers, looking for the antacid tablets he had promised. 

 A triumphant “Aha!”  signaled that he had found them, holding the little bottle up high as he turned towards you. But  the male didn’t offer you the bottle, nor open it to measure out the tablets for you. He shook it,  but there was no familiar noise of pills rattling inside, instead the two of you were met with silence.

“Aw, shit, I’m sorry (Y/N). I guess I used them all up.” The empty bottle was placed on the desk. “But I have another idea that might work, if you’d like to try it?”

You shrugged,  hand coming to poke at your stomach “It’s okay, don’t worry. I can just go to the nurse-“

“C’mon, that’s on the other side of campus. You really gonna walk all that way? Let me help you out.”

“Really, I’ll be oka-“

“Naw, I found something you’ll probably like - It’s a good flavor.”

You could do nothing but blink at your friend as he plopped down beside you on the bed. He was holding a bottle, one that looked almost like faceewash? But he had said it was a good flavor - did he want you to eat it? You summed all your thoughts up eloquently -“What the fuck is that?”

Sero shook the bottle before he popped open the top, squeezing a gelatinous goop onto his pointer finger.

“It’s just something that tastes good, y’know? Like uh,” He thought for a second  “Jelly! Or like a Gogurt but less sweet. Might help your stomach to settle down.”

Of course Sero would still eat Gogurts. He probably had a stash of them somewhere that he saved for after he smoked, when he got - you had learned from Mina what it was called - the munchies. He offered his pointer finger, obviously wanting you to taste the goop;  you did nothing but stare at it.  

“Don’t be like that, c’mon, try it! It’s good, I promise.”

You weren’t swayed by his playful urging. And you definitely weren’t going to lick that stuff (whatever it was) off of Sero’s finger. Realizing you had no plans to move, Sero sighed, before bringing his finger up to his mouth and popping the digit in to suck off the gel.

“I swear it tastes good, you’ll like it. Here, give me your hand?”

The goop was room temperature, thick, kind of like aloe vera. You brought your hand up to your face, touching your thumb to your pointer finger to feel the gel Sero had squirted onto your finger. It smelled faintly like artificial strawberries, a bit too sweet and unnatural, similar to the fake strawberry scent of a bad candle. You tried not to wrinkle your nose. Hesitantly, you swiped a bit of the gel off your finger with your tongue, smacking your lips together as you savored the flavor.

“Haha, I was right, wasn’t I?” Sero laughed as you licked the rest of the sweetness off your finger, and you couldn’t help but smile at him.

“Yeah, so shut up, you Gogurt eating baby.” 

Sero rolled his eyes as you stuck your tongue out at him. “I knew you were gonna bring that up! Let it go man, Gogurts absolutely rock.”

You ignored his statement, eagerly sticking your hand out so Sero could give you more of the gel. Despite its suspiciously artificial smell, the gel actually wasn’t too bad.  A surprise, but a welcome one nonetheless. Sero held out his hand.

“Ah, wait, I wanna try something.”

With a questioning look in your eyes, you watched Sero toss the bottle to his side, watched the male scoot backwards, spread out his legs. He reached for his pants, started unzipping them, and that’s when it clicked.

“Sero, I can’t believe you, again? This is so weird and so gross, I’m not touching your penis. It was fucking awkward the first time, and I’m not doing it again. Go find some other girl to - to do whatever it is you’re doing!”

Outburst finished, you huffed, cheeks flaming, ready to grab your backpack and stomp out of his room. The nauseous feeling was back, your stomach tight and legs wobbly.

Sero burst out laughing.

“Jesus (Y/N), do you even pay attention to the videos I send you? I mean, “penis”, really?? No one calls it that except for like, sex ed teachers or weird perverts.” You sputtered in indignation, irritated firstly at his nonchalant manner, secondly by the round-about way the male accused you of being a pervert. 

Before you had a chance to open your mouth to defend your word choice, Sero continued.

“I thought it was clear “what I was doing” when I brought out the lube. It’s like you’re not even trying to get comfortable with sex stuff. I’ve been putting all this effort into being a good friend, trying to make sure you won’t get made fun of for being a prude. I help you not look like an idiot when you don’t know what Denki’s saying when he talks about how his latest lay could deep throat. I’ve offered to teach you how to kiss like, a thousand times. Seriously, I’m just trying to help you out, and you’re acting like I’m trying to hurt you.” Sero buried his head in his hands.

“I…… That’s not….” You trail off, distinctly reminded of the last time you were in his room, when you hadn’t known what to say and ended up with your hand on Sero’s crotch; the ravenette talking you through what was happening in the porn he was having you watch. It hadn’t been pleasant, but it had been informative. You hadn’t learned much, but you knew what anal was now, so…. there’s that.

“I’m doing my best to help you learn this stuff, but if you won’t even look at the videos I send…”

You knew Sero was just trying to look out for you, but you don’t remember ever asking him to teach you about sex. You weren’t sure you wanted him to.

“Look, Sero… I just feel like this is a bit too much. I don’t wanna…. Well, I don’t want to…. y’know…”

“Fuck? You aren’t ready to get fucked so good you cry? I get that.” Sero interjected, meeting your eyes with a smirk before you could look away. “It’s really intimidating your first time, but I wasn’t going for that.”

You lifted your head. “You weren’t?” He had been unzipping his pants, what else could he have been getting ready to do? It’s not like hanging out with a friend required nudity. At least, in your experience.

“Of course not, I know you couldn’t handle something like that.”

That stung. Did Sero think you were weak? What even was going on - he was sweet one second, and then almost mean the next. Backhanded comments and rude suggestions,  you wished he was teasing. Maybe you were reading this wrong, and he was just teasing you? Him and Denki got a kick out of flustering you when the three of you met, and every time they ran into you after that, even after you joined their friend group.

“I was gonna show you how blowjobs work, and it’ll be easy since you like the taste of the lube.”

Appalled, you jerked away from your friend, eyes widening. “Woah, woah, I just said I don’t want-“

“-To fuck, I heard you.” Sero assured you. “But this is - it’s not even sex, it’s a blowjob. C’mon, it’ll be okay, blowjobs are easy.”

He was grabbing the bottle (which you now knew held lube) and shuffling his pants down, along with his boxers. You didn’t have time to protest before his cock was out, twitching in the cool air of his room. Sero hissed at the temperature difference of the lube as he squirted a generous amount of it into his palm, wrapping his hand around the reddened shaft.

 A few quick strokes left his length glistening, covered in the gel, applied so generously that a few drops rolled down, dripped onto the wiry black pubes at the base. Sero licked his palm messily, doing a poor job of cleaning off the excess lube, urging you to crawl forward and kneel between his spread legs.

“Here, see? It’s fine. We’re not even gonna think about deepthroating or face-fucking, alright? You go at your own pace.”

You felt sick. But it’s not like Sero was forcing you to do this - he wasn’t shouting or holding you down; his posture was relaxed, easy smile showing off his dimples. You didn’t like the sound of “facefucking”, and you knew what deepthroating was, and you were relieved Sero didn’t expect that of you. Taking a deep breath, you scooted forward, pausing before any part of you came into contact with the black-haired male.

“I don’t know…. What….?” You whispered, afraid of your own voice. You were blushing so hard, you wanted to cover your face, but that would just draw more attention to the fact that you were beyond embarrassed, flushed and sheepish. You’d really rather not do any of this, but Sero was right - it wasn’t sex, it wasn’t that big of a deal.

Just one friend helping out another, right?

“Just start out slow, y’know? Try to lick all the lube off.”  

His suggestion seemed easy enough, so you leaned forward, darting your tongue out to hesitantly lap at his cock. You were met with the pleasant taste of the lube, able to detect an underlying flavor of salty sweat. It wasn’t horrible.

You grew bolder, letting your tongue loll out of your mouth to lick broad stripes up the shaft, making Sero groan and fist his hands into the blankets by his hips. The sound made your insides twist, but you were fine - this was fine.

“Aw, you’re doing good. Mm - you can try putting a little bit in your mouth if you want. But watch your teeth, dicks are sensitive okay?”

You put the tip into your mouth, trying to make sure your teeth didn’t scrape or bite. Running your tongue around the squishy glans, you jumped when you felt Sero’s hand on your head. But he didn’t grab, push you down further or hold you in place. The ravenette let his hand smooth over your hair soothingly, petting at your head they way one would pet a cat.

“Fuck, can you - can you try sucking on it? That’s how you give a real blowjob.”

It was hard not to gag, hard to draw your thoughts away from what you were doing with your mouth and the soft, tight skin you were rubbing with your tongue. It felt weird, you felt weird, and you weren’t sure it was in a good way. But you wanted to try your best, not leave Sero hanging. You remember what he had said last time about teasing bitches, and you were afraid he might think you were leading him on if you stopped now..

Breathing through your nose, you hollowed your cheeks, creating a tight suction around the head of Sero’s cock. When you sucked, his dick jumped (it was hard to keep your mouth wrapped tight around his dick - you hadn’t been expecting it to move), and Sero patted your head softly.

“Yeah, just like that. Keep going.”

You did, rhythmically sucking at the glans, rubbing your tongue around the spongy head, popping off occasionally to lick up your excess saliva before it could roll too far down his length. Sero became increasingly more vocal, low moans and blissful sighs leaving his lips in between his gentle instructions.

“You, ah, you remember what we did last time? When you used your hand?”

Drawing back, you nodded. “A hand job.” 

“Mmhm, good job. Do that around the part that’s not in your mouth, yeah?”

Tentatively, you wrapped your hand around the base, cringing at the slick feeling of too much lube and your own saliva. You gave the shaft a long, slow stroke, before fitting your mouth over the top again, suckling hard. 

Sero let out a throaty groan, encouraging you to move faster, tighten your grip just a bit, suck a little bit more of his length into your mouth.  His cock jumped again, once, twice - and then warmth spurted out of the tip. 

You gagged immediately and pulled your mouth back and off his length. Before you could remove your hand, Sero trapped it under his own, using your palm to jack himself through his orgasm, abs tight and head tilted back, his dark eyes closed in bliss.

When you had given him a handjob for the first time, the male had cum, but the mess was (mostly) contained by his boxer briefs. 

Thick streams of whiteish fluid (cum, you knew from the few videos that Sero had forced you to watch) streamed out from the tip, slowly bubbling over and coating your conjoined hands, making everything even messier.

Sero gradually released your hand, letting you pull back from his body, trying not to cringe in disgust at the stickiness covering your hand. You wanted to wipe it off, clean up - now that Sero had orgasmed you were going to run to the locker rooms and scrub yourself in a hot shower.

But as Sero panted, uncaring of the mess dripping to his sheets, he caught your gaze with his own, giving you a lopsided grin. “That was really good (Y/N), you’re a natural.”

The praise reached your ears, but you didn’t feel the little spike of pride that you normally associated with being complimented. 

“Uh… Thanks, I guess.”

Sero reached over to his nightstand, snagging a pocket-pack of tissues, pulling out a few for himself, tossing one to you.  You scrubbed at your cum-covered hand, sopping up the mess before lobbing the soiled tissue into the wastebasket by his desk.

“Okay, um - I’m gonna go now, I guess I’ll see you later.”

How did one leave gracefully after such an exchange? 

Sero’s hand shot out (thankfully now clean) and grabbed your ankle, swiftly pulling you towards him across the bed, causing you to fall onto your back, squeaking in shock.

“Hold on! You’ve got me off twice now, it’s bad etiquette if I didn’t try to return the favor.”

“No! No, really, I’m okay!” You held out your hands, leg wriggling to free yourself from his grasp. “I don’t mind, it’s okay!”

Sero cocked his hand, slowly beginning to rub his hand up and down your calf, in a mockery of a massage. “I know you’re okay, I want to make you feel great. I’m good at this next part.”

He winked, the hand not rubbing your calf coming to pull at your school skirt, flipping it up to reveal your panties. You whined, trying to push it back down, cover yourself, but Sero clicked his tongue, easily batting your hands away.

“Don’t be shy baby,  you got nothing to hide.”

“Sero, this is really making me uncomfortable - I don’t -“

“Shh, hey, you know I would never hurt you. I’m your friend, and I only want what’s best for you.”

Your panic was rising, blooming in your chest like a heavy flower, petals dropping and falling to your stomach to dissolve into acid that boiled into nausea. But that was just nerves, right? 

Sweat was already pooling on your back, slicking up your hands, making your hair cling to your forehead. 

Sero was your friend, but this was starting to feel a little unfriendly. But you didn’t have time to think when his hands were pulling down your panties, exposing your cunt to his hungry gaze.

“Damn, you’re real pretty.”

You squirmed, opened your mouth to protest, but Sero was hefting one of your legs over his shoulder, opening you up for easier access to your folds. He was going too fast, this was all going too fast and you couldn’t-

Long fingers swiped along the outside of your pussy, sending a twinge of sensation (pleasure?) up into your tummy.  They stroked up and down, spread your folds, tapped around the puffy pink skin until they came in contact with your clit. With a gasp, your hips involuntarily bucked, chasing the sensation. Sero grinned at you.

“See? It only gets better. Let me take care of yo, it’ll all be okay.”

His fingers continued to pet you, slowly collecting wetness as it seeped out of your pussy, shame coloring your cheeks and making your arms curl across your chest, as if to hold yourself. Sero didn’t seem to mind, not when he was so focused on touching you.

He used his other hand to pat around the bedspread, looking for the lube he had so carelessly dropped earlier. When he found it, you heard the cap flick open, and then the cold gel was squirted onto the top of your slit. You gasped, squeezing your eyes shut, trying to keep your hips from jumping forward when Sero massaged the lube onto your pussy, using three fingers to smush and spread the lube around.

It felt exquisite.

Your thighs were tensing, short, little spasms of the muscle each time his fingers came into contact with your clit, and you could feel your pussy pulsing, oozing out wetness. Breathing shakily, you whined when Sero traced a single finger around your hole, teasing.

“I’m gonna finger you open, alright? You look so sexy like this, letting me make you feel good.”

His finger entered you slowly, a long, steady press. It was uncomfortable, but not exactly unpleasant, and smooth due to the lube. You wanted him to wait, to let you adjust to the intense sensation, gather your senses, but the ravenette kept steady, drawing his finger out at the same pace before pushing it back in.

Sero’s thumb rubbed at your clit, swiping back and forth, smushing the little nub and making you (to your embarrassment) moan. It felt good, the nausea in your stomach fading as the pleasure built.

Next thing you knew, Sero was fucking you with two fingers, then three, increasing the pace on each addition.  Your hips were bucking wildly, thrusting down each time his fingers pushed up, fucking yourself on his long, slim digits.

“Sero, Sero, ah, ah-“

You cried, and your friend swore under his breath, before his hand left your cunt empty. Opening your eyes, you barely had time to look at the male questioningly before he was grabbing your hips, flipping you over onto your stomach. You squirmed, able to feel your hole clenching and unclenching rhythmically - you felt unusually empty.

“Sero?”

Something hard and hot was pressed against you, Sero leaning over you, his legs on either side of your own as he pulled your hips up and back, putting you on your knees.

“Calm down, I’m only gonna put in the tip. It’s not sex, no need to worry.”

The tip? 

You realized what was happening, why he turned you over, what was pressing up against your folds, what the male mean’t by “just the tip”

“Wait!!-“ You thrashed, breathing heavily, clawing at the sheets to pull yourself forward, away, anywhere but pressed up against your friend.

But Sero was stronger than you, had your hips in a bruising grip as he pressed forward, his cock breaching your hole. He kept you still as he thrust shallowly, keeping to his promise of “just the tip”.

It was bigger than his three fingers had been, and the stretch burned. It quickly simmered to a slow build of pleasure in your tummy, ramping up when a hand snaked around your hip, coming to roll and pinch and slap at your clit gently.

“Sero!” Whining, you couldn’t stop your hips from moving, pushing back towards that delicious friction against your clit, the gentle thrusts just barely entering your cunt. You didn’t want him to go any further, but your body craved for more.

The male seemed to sense this, or maybe he was just too wound up, but on his next thrust, he went too far inside, kept on going, pressing, rutting inside your until he was buried to the hilt.

Sero had officially gone too far.

“This is-“ you gasped as he rubbed your clit feverishly, interrupting your thoughts., distracting you from the burning stretch of his entire cock being plunged into you. It was a struggle to regain them again. “Sero this is too-too far. It’s wrong! Stop!”

He laughed, his throaty voice trailing off into a groan.

“If it’s so wrong, why are you about to cum? Girls can’t cum if they don’t want it.”

Horrifingly, he was right - you were about to cum. The pleasure was building and rising, it wouldn’t stop. You had no time to breathe, or to even cry as Sero began hammering into your cunt, energetic, chasing after his own pleasure while speeding you towards your own.

Each thrust hit deep, his hips twisting on each thrust so his cock /swirled/  up against your walls as he pushed into you. It was entirely too much, and yet he wouldn’t stop.  He was moaning and swearing behind you, puncturing each push of his hips with a “so good baby” or “your pussy is so tight, fuck.”.

You didn’t know what to focus on.

Sero shifted, and his next thrust hit something deep inside of you, and you couldn’t help but wail as you came. Sero groaned as your pussy squeezed him tightly, his thrusts increasing in speed until he pulled out, furiously jacking his cock over your back.

You barely even flinched when you felt warmth drip onto your skin, where your shirt had ridden up.

No longer held up by Sero’s strong arms, you collapsed forward onto his bed, confused, relaxed, filled with countless emotions that you couldn’t even begin to identify. Sero flopped down beside you, utterly spent, panting heavily. There was silence between the two of you as your breathing evened, coming down from your high. You felt exhausted.

“Sex feels really good, doesn’t it?” Sero broke the silence, reaching over to rub your shoulder. “I’m sorry about going so deep, guess I got kinda caught up in the moment, y’know?”

You didn’t.

At this point, you didn’t even know what to feel.

Didn’t even know what to do.

[forgotten-daydreamer]

Haikyuu sick/hurt characters headcanons: Karasuno edition!

⚠️ sickness, injuries, phobias, allergies and correlated symptoms ahead. If these themes upset you, proceed with caution. If you use these, credit me, please. ⚠️

Sawamura Daichi:

He doesn't let anyone know when he's sick. He'll show up to practise with a fever of 39°C and say that he's fine if someone points out how warm he is ("It's just overextertion. If you're not warm, it means you haven't been exercising well!")

He doesn't actually believe that he's fine, he knows his limits, but he just doesn't want to alarm anyone.

Luckily, he always manages to hold on until he reaches the bathroom if he's feeling pukey.

When he does get sick, he's very quiet and discreet. He always tries to go back to what he was doing before, insisting that he's okay.

When he's sick or hurt, the other third-years can see through his "I'm okay!" act (remember that time he hit his head and insisted that he was fine to play?), and know how miserable he really feels, so they force him to take it easyー he's no match for Suga, who will use mild violence if that's what it takes to make Daichi give up and rest.

Sugawara Kōshi:

He's anemic, cue to his constantly cold hands (and feet). Because of this, he takes iron pillsー or he should, because he forgets more often than not.

When he forgets the pills, he gets dizzy and weak, and needs to sit down for a bit. Once, he passed out due to anemia during practise, and he doesn't want to repeat that ever again, so he's extra cautious.

It's easy to understand when he's feverish, because he gets unexpectedly sleepy and quiet. He will fall asleep in class without even realising it if his temperature's any higher than 37,5°C.

He rarely gets hurt, but when that happens nobody's sure if he's okay or not. It's not that he denies it, but he simply doesn't say anything ("why didn't you say anything sooner!?" "B-because you didn't ask..?")

Once, he twisted his ankle and walked on it for a little less than thirty minutes before actually asking the coach if he could go get himself some ice. Of course, they didn't send him to get the icepack, but he had to sit there and listen as Coach Ukai yelled at him for not speaking up sooner.

Azumane Asahi:

He gets anxiety-induced stomach aches very often, and that's why he's used to feeling dizzy and to puking. Vomit doesn't scare him anymore.

Whenever he's sick, he runs away from the others; he needs to flee, far away. He loves his teammates, but he's scared that they'll accidentally overwhelm him further, and he doesn't want them to feel guilty.

This man can't stand the sight of blood. Like, at all, not even a little. Not even in movies. When Shimizu got a shallow paper cut, the Coach actually had to physically support him when getting him seated on a bench.

He broke his left index finger when he was a first-year, and as soon as he saw the bone sticking out of the skin (it looked worse than what it really was) he fell backwards and on a very concerned Sugawara without a word.

Cue to lots of tears and puke on the way to the hospital. He was inconsolable, but when Daichi had the idea to hide the injury from his eyes, Asahi managed to calm down a bit. In every situation, it's not the injury that scares him, but the blood.

Nishinoya Yuu:

He's reckless, he won't even notice when he gets injured. Since he's so used to bruises, bumps and shallow cuts, he doesn't understand when he's actually injured.

This guy played a whole set with a sprained wrist before realising that "hey, this feels kinda weird..?" and he didn't tell anyone until the end of the game, when his wrist was visibly swollen.

High pain tolerance plays a major role when he's injured or sick. Still, the others wish he would have a more average pain tolerance, because, once, Nishinoya felt sick during math class, and still claimed he was fine. He thought he was.

When he was rushed to the hospital due to a "mild ache in his lower stomach" that had been going on for two days after the math class incident, along with a 38,7°C fever, he was told that he had appendicitis ("I thought I just ate something bad or that I needed to take a huge dump! How was I supposed to know!? I thought I was fine."). It was clear that he wasn't, in fact, fine.

Tanaka Ryuunosuke:

He will try to toughen everything out and ignore the pain until it gets unbearable. Be it an injury or some sickness, he will automatically ignore it if he doesn't think it's serious enough to be life-threatening.

That's why he almost died when he ate one of the peanut butter cookies that Yachi had baked. Turns out, allergies do existー but he wished he'd found out in a different way. Sometimes, "My throat's kinda itchy. Does my tongue look... too big? It... it feels too big." can be synonym of "Hospital, now." Bless Takeda-sensei.

The time when he collided with Daichi, Tanaka completely ignored the fact that his arm hurt, and only realised when he took his shirt off in the locker-room and heard a screech from Yamaguchi. The bruise went from his shoulder to his elbow, blue and swollen. Cue to lots of pain relief cream and ice packs.

Ennoshita Chikara:

He never broke a bone in his whole life, but he's very good at dealing with it when it happens to someone else. He's just fascinated by how the human body works, and sometimes people think he's being cold in front of someone else's pain, when he's really just being logical.

He's good at dealing with his own pain too, though he rarely gets hurt or sick.

When he gets sick, he recovers pretty rapidly, but this leads him into relapse. That's why he's not allowed back to practise for a whole week after he recovers ("I'm fine. I've been fine for three days already, my fever wasn't even that high..." "Last time you said you were fine, you almost got pneumonia. Go home.").

He gets bad allergies during spring, and takes a lot of antihistamine pills which make him sleepy. He often has to excuse himself from class to go take a nap in the infirmaryー the teachers and the nurse know, so they always allow him to.

Narita Kazuhito:

This man is the embodiment of health. His diet and lifestyle will probably allow him to live until past the age of 100.

That's why he's not used to getting sick. And when he does, he's a confused mess with no idea of what to do with himself.

When he puked on himself after practise he was so shocked that he chuckled nervously and stood still, frozen, until Kinoshita and Ennoshita dragged him to the bathroom. He almost found the whole ordeal funny.

Kinoshita Hisashi:

He really despises vegetables and fruit, and often gets mocked because of it. He often stuffs himself with sweets and fried food until he feels sick ("But... how? That cake had strawberries in it! It's supposed to be healthy!").

He gets very bad seasickness. Once, his friends decided to drag him to Miyajima: he spent the time on the ferry and first hour on the island puking his guts out.

The thing he doesn't do good with is fainting: if someone passes out in front of him, he does the same, always. When Daichi passed out in the middle of the court, Kinoshita was thankful that Narita was there to hold him up, because he was ready to leave the land of the living.

Kageyama Tobio:

Always denies everything ("my nose is not bleeding!!") and this only makes everything worse for him. If he feels shaky, he won't take a clue and sit down; instead, he'll push himself and end up falling down on whoever's closest to him ("Daichi-san, nice receive!" "Now's really not the time, Hinata...").

When he gets sick, he gets sick hard. The flu has him puking all day long, with a fever of 39.5°C that, he insists, is not that high. His family and friends are smart enough to understand that he's lying. Not even the doctors and nurses at the E.R. can convince him that he's sick.

To be fair, he does not lie when he says that he's not hurt or sick: he genuinely thinks that whatever's going on with him is normal and not that bad.

He accidentally tripped on the leg of a desk in class, and fell face first into the teachers'. The deep, bleeding cut on his forehead wasn't enough for him to understand that he needed to go to the infirmary, and he just sat back at his desk, apologising for the mess. Turns out that his "little cut" needed six stitches in the end, and that his "mild headache" was, in fact, a mild concussion. He showed up to practise the following day anyway, and the Coach had to physically prevent him from joining.

He doesn't do good with nausea, though; he doesn't mind fevers, joint-pains, blood, bruises, or the act of throwing up itself. But when he feels nauseous he actively wishes to pass out, because anything is better than dealing with feeling like that. That's why he'd rather stick his fingers down his throat to get rid of the nausea already than waiting for it to pass naturally.

This got worse when he started suffering from migraines. As soon as he feels one starting to build behind his eye, he throws himself over the toilet, waiting for the dreaded nausea to come so that he can get rid of it before it gets too bad. He stays like that for hours if that's what it takes.

Hinata Shōyō:

He pukes a lot, and for a number of reasons: nervousness, motion sickness, fear, hungerー this guy can't even take it to the bathroom.

His guts are a mess, and he either vomits or poops every time he feels any strong emotion (which is...pretty often, for him). Thank goodness his friends always have pills that help with motion sickness with them, along with antiacid pills and sparkling water, and that Kiyoko and Yachi often restock the bus and everyone's backpacks with paper bags.

The higher the fever, the more he moves. Ever since he was a kid, a fever has never stopped him, and to be fair, fevers make him feel more motivated and energetic. He takes "Hey, no. Sit down, drink up, and rest." as an insult because "I'm fine. You're benching me because you think I suck, huh!? But I was doing fine! I- I was being good, right..?"

Yes, fevers make him emotional. He'll cry for anything once they make him admit that he's sick. He mostly cries because "How could I get sick? I'm going to be useless! I should've paid more attention, I should've been better!" but Kageyama knows for sure that he saw a feverish Hinata crying over a picture of his sister, for some reason.

He doesn't mind blood when he's the one to be bleeding, but if it's someone else, he freaks out. Seeing someone else having a bloody nose or bleeding from some injury, even small and insignificant, makes his stomach flip.

Tsukishima Kei:

He's never said "I'm in pain." in his whole life. The most honest statement he managed to grit out was "It kinda hurts.", but he never said anything more than that. He won't show himself being so vulnerable, ever.

Whenever he has to go to the optometrist, he won't eat anything for at least half a day before the appointment, because he knows for sure that he's going to throw up after the doctor dilatates his pupils.

He's a quiet puker, and he always locks himself up in the bathroom, which can be dangerous in those situations. After that time when he passed out after throwing up, his mother got an extra key of the bathroom, and always lingers close to the door when she knows that her son's about to be sick.

If anyone tries to interrupt him when he throws up or when he's in acute pain, he will yell at them. It's not that he doesn't appreciate the help, but he hates how everything feels so crowded around him when he's down. The only person who's brave enough to help him when he's like that is Yamaguchi, mostly because he's used to hearing his angry words (even if Tsukishima's never insulted him personally).

Yamaguchi Tadashi:

Terribly emetophobic, he won't throw up even if he has to. He just won't do that, no way... Which is cruelly ironic, since he gets sick pretty often due to anxiety and weak immune system. Tsukishima doesn't mind helping him out (but he would never step close to anyone else when they're sick) but he can be a bit rough sometimes; this both reassures and agitates Yamaguchi. "I'll stick my fingers down your throat if you don't throw up now." doesn't sound too kind, but when Tsukishima adds "it'll make you feel better, I promise." Yamaguchi feels a bit calmer. He’s also a loud puker.

He's a type-2 diabetic, though he has it under control and hasn't had any problem related to that in a while, not since the beginning of middle school, at least. Still, sometimes he needs to reluctantly sit practise out because he's obviously too shaky and weak to strain himself that much. When that happens, they all make sure that someone sits with him to make him feel less alone... and he appreciates it immensely.

He's on anxiety meds, but they make him feel dizzy sometimes, which leads him into a spiral of panic for fear that he'll get sick. It's a huge contradiction, really, and he hates it with his whole soul.

He's one of the people in the team who can handle others' sickness and injuries better; it might shock him for a second, but he's ready to jump into action and solve the problem in order to help his friends out.

Injuries don't scare him, though the worst thing that ever happened to him was when he got punched in the face by a bully. He also broke his arm in middleschool once though he doesn't remember muchー maybe it was the shock, or maybe it was that it hurt less than he imagined. The punch freaked him out more than that.

Yachi Hitoka

She's a good caretaker, but an absolute mess when it comes to taking care of her own injuries and sickness.

She's clumsy so she's not new to bruises and cuts, but this doesn't mean that she doesn't freak out a bit whenever she sees blood on her legs or arms. On their way home from school, one day, Hinata and Yamaguchi decided to get her band-aids with little chicks and kittens on them. She finished the 30-pack in less than a month.

She got her period a bit late in life, a couple of months before turning 15, and whenever she's on her period, it hits her like a train at full-speed in the guts. Kiyoko taught her some yoga moves that help with the cramps, and the boys never bother the two of them when they see them doing yoga in the corner of the gym. In fact, they also bought her an electric heating pad for her birthday along with an indecent amount of chocolate that didn't fit in Yachi's bag (and various other presents not concerning periods).

Shimizu Kiyoko:

The scars on her legs are fully healed, yet the skin there is thinner, and so the wounds reopen whenever she accidentally hurts herself there. They sting quite a bit, and though it's unusual, she hisses out loud when it's bad. Everyone agreed to make sure that medkit is always equipped with antiseptic cream. To this day, Kiyoko insists that it isn't necessary, but they disagree.

She always knows what to do when someone else feels sick, but she's unsure about what she'd do in case of her own sickness. She hasn't been sick in too long to know.

She hasn't gotten a cold since elementary school, and that one time when she thought she'd caught something, when she sneezed at the age of 16, it was actually just a bit of dust allergy. She doesn't even need meds for it.

Takeda Ittetsu:

He hardly gets sick, but he ends up hunched over the toilet more often than not after a Friday night out with his friends. He drinks quite a bit for a teacher, but only when he knows that he can do that without compromising his career or setting the wrong example. Hangovers also leave him a messy wreck, and that's why he only drinks on Fridays: that way, he has until Sunday night to recover.

For someone who's constantly surrounded by teenagers, he doesn't get sick much. He catches a cold every now and then, but nothing more serious than that. And when he's sick, he always tries to prevent the others from catching what he's got, without actually taking care of himself to heal.

Once, he got a fever of 40,1°C and luckily for him Ukai was coming over to discuss about the volleyball club; he found Takeda sprawled face-down in front of the open door. He was boiling, so Ukai took him to the hospital where he stayed for two days. ("I didn't think it was this bad." "So you knew you had a fever and still went to work?" "Yeah, but I had a mask on so that the others could be safe." "And you didn't buy medicine in the meantime?" "Ah, no." "...what the hell!?").

Ukai Keishin:

He catches a cold every other month, no matter how many layers of clothes he wears. These colds are often accompanied by low fevers, but he's used to those so he simply chugs some orange juice and moves on.

He tried to quit smoking countless times, especially since he started coaching these kids, but he can't help smoking at least three of cigs per day. Still, sometimes his chest aches a bit, and maybe it's just paranoia, but when that happens he doesn't touch tobacco for a couple of days.

His liver would even be able to survive Takeda's nights out; his guts, in general, are strong and he swears he's never felt nauseous in his whole life.

💫 I might think of more sick karasuno hc soon, but that's it for now. Expect more characters hc soon! Again, credit me if you use these, and please feel free to share this post! 💫

[queenxxxsupreme]

Hay this might be a rough request, but I am a complete mess rn so this is definitely about me haha. But could you maybe do something for Regis with a Reader who's falling for him, but has struggle to let people inside her life as she's been abused mentally as long as she can thinks and as she's having a breakdown Regis finds her and she's about to confess what she feels for the higher vampire but is scares to be hurt? - 🦊

If you don't want to write this just let me know. ❤️

A/N: hi babe I won’t bombard too much but if you ever need anything my box is open or you can DM me 

Warnings: mentions of past abuse, mentions of suggested partner abuse but nothing descriptive

***

You were sitting alone at a table in a large room with Kaer Morhen that you declared to be the dining room. You were preparing dinner, making enough for all of the boys should they return. Vesemir was off tinkering with some ladder he’d been talking about all week. Apparently it needed to be repaired. 

You hissed as the blade of your knife slipped and caught the inside of your thumb. The knife was abandoned at the table as blood started to steadily seep from the wound. You used your skirt - dirty at the hem from tending to the goats earlier in the day - to stop the bleeding. 

“Damn bastard.” You cursed, glaring down at the knife. 

“What did I do already?” Lambert teased as he crossed the room. You didn’t realize he had even walked in until he spoke. You jumped and turned your head to him, smiling.

“Hi, Lambert! How was the journey?”

“Shitty and long, as usual.” He took a seat at the table with you. “Anybody here with you?”

“Vesemir arrived late last week.” You nodded. “Geralt, Ciri, and Jaskier are here with Regis and Dettlaff. Yennefer keeps popping in and out whenever she wants. Have you heard from Eskel?”

“A while ago.” He picked up a strawberry from a bowl on the table. “Ran into him in Aedd Gynvael about three weeks back. Said he had an archgriffin contract to finish up and then he was gonna head here. Figured he’d be here already.”

You nodded, letting your skirt fall back into place. The bleeding had stopped but it burned. 

You moved over to the pot of soup hanging over the fire. It was bubbling nicely.

“Is this winter gonna be the winter where you tell Regis?”

You turned your head to look at Lambert. He moved towards you, wanting to inspect what you were cooking. He was always very cautious about eating anything someone else made for him. You remembered him telling you a story of one of the few times he let Geralt cook. Apparently everyone in the keep got food poisoning. 

“Tell…. Tell Regis what?” You asked quietly, brows furrowing together. 

“That you fancy him.” Lambert rolled his eyes at the word. It was very, very rare for him to like someone as quickly as he took a liking to you. You’d heard Eskel say something to Geralt about how Lambert knew what it was like to grow up in an unsafe home, that you both shared similar upbringings prior to his arrival at Kaer Morhen. You never asked the young wolf about it, never wanting to pick at old wounds.

“Don’t play stupid, Y/N.” 

You flinched at the name but Lambert didn’t notice. He had moved away towards the table where you had been cutting up potatoes. You knew he meant nothing by it, but you couldn’t help your stomach twisting up into knots.

“You know we all can see how you swoon every time he’s in the same room as you.”

“Can you keep it down a little, Lambert?” You asked him, messing with your skirt as you went to the table. “I-I don’t want him knowing.”

“Why not?” Lambert looked up at you. “You want me to help you with the potatoes? You’ll lose a finger at the rate you’re going.” He nodded to your hand. You had more than a couple knicks on your hands and fingers. You weren’t the best at using a knife, but you tried your best. 

“Please.” You nodded softly. Your eyes followed Lambert as he went over to the wash basin to clean his hands. “I…. just don’t think it’d be wise of me to do that. To…. To put myself in that position.”

“I don’t blame you.” Lambert sighed, drying his hands off on a towel. “Opening up to people sucks ass.”

You smiled a little. 

“How’s Aiden doing, by the way?” You tilted your head to the side a little as you sat down across from the wolf. “Is he coming this winter?”

“Said he might.” Lambert muttered. “Probably won’t show up until the middle of a snow storm or something stupid.”

You admired the witcher for loving someone, and you were a little jealous. 

You chewed on your bottom lip, looking down at the three little cuts on your fingers.

“What are you thinking about?” Lambert asked, keeping his voice low. 

“Nothing.” You answered a little too quickly. 

“I can see the steam coming out of your ears, kid. This is one of those rare times I ask you what you’ve got going on inside that head of yours. The polite thing would be for you to take advantage of that.”

Your eyes flickered up to meet his yellow gaze.

“How…. How do you do it, Lambert?” You brushed a few pieces of hair behind your ears. “How do you let yourself get like that? Become vulnerable for Aiden? I-I mean, I can’t even comfortably open up to Geralt or Eskel and I’ve known them for the better half of a decade. Sometimes…. Sometimes it’s hard opening up to you even and we’ve known each other how long?”

“Feels like a lifetime.” He sighed, nodding his head. Lambert had met you years ago when a chort had invaded your village. “Uh, it’s hard, kid. Really hard. But you just…. If you really like someone, you’ve gotta let it happen.”

You looked down at the table, your fingers brushing over markings in the wood. 

“Yeah, I get it. But you…. You’re a witcher.” You couldn’t bring yourself to look up at him. “If…. If Aiden were to get…. If he were to be, um, harmful to you…. You could stop him.”

Lambert stopped cutting the potatoes and looked across the table at you as realization hit him. 

“Regis is stronger than you. That’s what you’re afraid of.”

You nodded, biting your bottom lip.

“I know no amount of me telling you this will help, but Regis isn’t that kind of guy.” Lambert shook his head. “He’d never….” The wolf trailed off, unable to complete the sentence. “And you know Geralt wouldn’t associate with someone like that.” 

You nodded your head and opened your mouth to speak when Ciri, Dettlaff, Regis, and Geralt walked in. Your eyes darted to Lambert, who very briefly met your gaze before looking over at the small group. You moved away from the table as everyone started to sit down. You went to the fire to check on the soup. 

“I was just telling Y/N here that I heard from Eskel a few weeks ago. He should be here any day now.”

“Good.” Geralt sighed, taking a seat at the table. 

“Y/N? Do you need help with anything, dear?” Regis asked. 

You looked over your shoulder to him, your voice caught in your throat as your heart started to beat a little faster. 

“Erm, I-I think we’ve- Lambert and I have everything under control.” You looked over to Lambert, who didn’t look at you. You knew he’d never tell anyone about your feelings towards the Higher Vampire, but you couldn’t help feeling that maybe he would. Your trust had been violated by those you thought the world of before. 

***

Later on that evening after everyone ate their fill of soup and helped clean the kitchen, you retreated to the library. The entire night it felt like you were tense and on edge. You weren’t too sure what it was, but it probably had something to do with the fact that Regis had sat beside you the whole evening and tried multiple times to engage in conversation with you. You did your best to keep the conversations going, but it wasn’t easy. That voice in the back of your head kept telling you that you needed to shut up before he realized that you were into him. 

You got a book and sat down in your favorite chair. It was large and comfy and rested close to the fireplace so you could stay warm. 

You tried to focus on the book, to immerse yourself in the story, but it just wasn’t working. Your mind was going a million miles a second and you couldn’t gain control of your thoughts. Your lungs couldn’t pull in enough oxygen. You felt dizzy and nauseous at the same time. 

The book was placed down on the table next to you and you leaned forward, your elbows on your knees and your hands over your face. 

You tried counting to make the invasive feelings go away, but that didn’t work. You tried to stop thinking about everything that could go wrong if you were to tell Regis of how you felt, but that didn’t work either. Warm hands touched the back of your hands, making you flinch. You pulled your hands away from your face to see Regis kneeling before you. 

You sucked in a sharp breath, sitting back in your seat to put space between you two. Your hands found the arms of the chair, gripping them tightly. 

“Are you okay, dear?” Regis asked you, brows furrowed together in concern. 

You sniffled pitifully and wiped your cheeks with your sleeves. 

“I-I’m-I’m fine, Regis.”

“What’s gotten you so upset?” He tilted his head to the side a little. 

You shook your head, unable to answer him. 

He stood to his feet, messing with a buckle to his jacket. 

“I’ll leave, if you’d like some space.”

“No!” You shouted, even though you didn’t mean to. You turned your head away from him, closing your eyes tightly. You needed to tell him. You needed to get it out. Maybe that was why you felt like you were going to explode, because you needed to tell him how you felt. “Please…. Please stay.”

He retrieved a chair from one of the tables and pulled it over to you. Regis kept his distance though, not wanting to invade your space. 

You opened your eyes but you couldn’t turn your head to look at him. There was nothing but silence as he waited patiently for you to speak. 

“I’m-I’m sorry you.... That I raised my voice at you.” You whispered, your voice weak and broken. 

“There’s no need to apologize, my dear.” He assured you. The way he spoke to you so gently, so softly, nearly made your heart melt.

You brought your eyes down to your hands, picking at your fingers. You took a deep breath, before finding your voice again. 

“I-I want to…. To tell you how I feel. But I can’t.”

“Why not?” Regis didn’t sound upset with you. He didn’t sound impatient. He was calm and quiet. 

Your lips pressed together in a tight line and you shook your head. You turned your head to look across the room at one of the windows. The moon was shining in, casting a rectangle of light onto the old stone floor. 

“I can’t let myself…. I can’t be like that with someone. Not after what’s happened.” 

If Regis didn’t have such good hearing, he wouldn’t have been able to hear what you were saying. 

His heart broke hearing your voice, hearing how upset you were and how hard it was for you to get this out. 

“I’ve had too-too many people in my life…. that have hurt me.” You shifted around in your seat. 

Silence fell between you both. You couldn’t find the right words to add on to what you were saying, to get him to understand. 

“You don’t have to do anything you aren’t comfortable with doing, my dear.” Regis’s voice was smooth like honey as he spoke to you. “I won’t pretend to know what you’ve been through, because I can’t even imagine what you’ve been through. But I need you to know that I’d never put my hands on you, Y/N. The thought of it….. It makes me sick.”

“It’s not just that, Regis.” You brought your eyes to meet his. “I-I was with a man for three years. He never hit me, but sometimes I think hitting me would’ve done less damage than his words.”

This time, Regis couldn’t hold your gaze. He couldn’t bear the look in your eyes as you tried desperately to fight back the tears. You were fearful, terrified even. He wasn’t sure if it was because of him, or something else entirely, but he couldn’t help feeling as if he was partially to cause. 

You looked down at your hands. 

“I-I care about you, Regis. A lot. And I can’t-I can’t stop it, as badly as I want to.”

“I care about you as well, Y/N.” Regis fought the urge to put his hand on your shoulder or on the back of your hand. Now wasn’t the time for that. “But we don’t have to act on these feelings, not if you aren’t comfortable with it.”

“It isn’t fair to you.”

Regis held his hand out for you, praying that he wasn’t overstepping. You looked down at his hand, taking note of how wide his palm was and how long a slender his fingers were. Your hand hesitantly found his, your fingertips brushing along his palm and up to his wrist. 

“My dear, it isn’t fair that you’ve been with someone who didn’t treat you like the queen you are.” His grip tightened on your hand gently. “I am willing to wait as long as needed for you. If there’s never a time you are comfortable with exploring more within our relationship, then that is okay too. I just want to be here for you.” 

You nodded your head, smiling a little. Your heart raced in your chest, but this was a good racing. You didn’t feel sick. 

“You’re so sweet, Regis. I-I want to hug you.” 

He nodded and stood up. You did too, taking quick note of how your head barely reached his shoulders as his long arms wrapped around you tightly. You buried your nose into his chest, closing your eyes. 

“Thank you, Regis.” Your words were muffled against him. “I know I’m not the easiest to be around sometimes.”

“Oh nonsense, my dear. You are an absolute treasure.” Regis murmured against your hair. 

“Can you…. maybe…. read to me? Like you did last winter?” You kept your face in his chest, afraid to face him in case he said no.

“I’d like nothing more than to read to you, my dear.”

Taglist: @pressedinthepages @mishafaye @whitewolfandthefox @wolfyland07 @belalugosisdead @persephonehemingway @keira-hulmaster @dinonuggs69 @greatestauthorofmygeneration @shadow-hunters-lover @dancingwith-thesunflowers @tedi-fach-las @thecomfortofoldstorries @raspberrydreamclouds @natkowaa @disasteren @weathervanes-my-oneandlonely @onlyhenrys @wackylurker @criminaly-supernatural @magpie343 @permanently-exhausted-witcher @hina-chans-stuff @the-space-between-heartbeats @havenoffandoms @carriebee1 @ger-bearofrivia @naominami @writingawaymylife @reaganjenelle @theawkwardpedestrian @scarlettwitcher @badassspaceprincess @just-a-sad-donut @summersong69 @an–actual–human–disaster @rubyqueen819 @omgkatinka @c-a-v-a-l-r-y @vonxcon @mazakeen @bravelittlesunflower @thereagles @awkward-turtles-world @menalliha @cotton_mo @maan24 @thefirelordm @monkeymo @krenee1drful @nympha-door-a @unadulteratedtreecrusade @Aquarius-pisces-rose @mentallyscreamingsincebirth @fl0ating @sometimesiwrite

If your name is in italics, it wouldn’t let me tag you :(

[malyceaduncastellan]

Home

Hello! Prepare yourself people, this one is... pretty long. I got a bit carried away so here’s another Talbott piece for you. 

Also, writing in second person with a neutral MC is HARD. I don’t know if you people prefer it that way, because I kept trying to write with my MC in it, a Slytherin girl, and boy would it have been easier. But what’s done is done. Just don’t forget to tell me what you think about this !

Forgive the eventual mistakes as English isn’t my native language. I hope you’ll enjoy it though!

~~~

Today was… Quiet, to say the least.

While you sat in the great hall, you couldn’t help but notice just how weird that was. You were the only one in your friend group eating at the moment (and knowing how many friends you had, that was, once again, weird) and all the others students chatter felt like a distant whisper. You almost felt a bit sad. It felt way too much like… home, today.

You did not like that. Or at least you weren’t used to it here. You let out a sigh and decided to play with whatever was left of food on your plate with your fork.

-Nobody taught you not to play with your food?

-Ha!

You almost jumped at hearing the rich and deep voice. When you turned around to meet the amused glare of Talbott Winger, you furrowed your brows. He even had the nerve to make fun of you.

-Talbott, you git!  You almost scared me to death, you protested.

-Yes, I am sure I’m way scarier than a Cursed Vault. Terrifying, even. You’re shivering at nights thinking of me.

-If you think I’m even fearing a Vault you’re severely mistaken. Now, I suppose our resident bird boy didn’t make me jump out of my robes for nothing.

-You’re the only person I wouldn’t mind eating with today. That is, if you’re still eating.

You looked at your plate, that looked more like an uneatable mess of stuff you wouldn’t feed a dog. Talbott was watching you silently, his gaze trained on you with a dubious look, and suddenly you felt like eating what you were playing with earlier was not such a bad idea.

-Sure. I was bored eating on my own anyway.

The ghost of a smile graced Talbott’s face and he sat beside you. Silence fell between the two of you while you managed to eat your mess of a lunch. 

Your plate was soon empty though, and you were left staring at the wall, trying not to put too much attention on Talbott eating. You didn’t want to make him uncomfortable.

-You’re not eating any pudding?

-Never been one for to much sweets… you whispered.

Oh bloody hell, this was awkward. You weren’t really nervous with Talbott around. He made you relaxed somehow. What was awkward was how every single time you were within a meter of his presence, you started to think a bit too much. Like, how intense his gaze was, how his jawline was manly even though he was barely sixteen, how tall he was, how big but slim his hands were… And his voice. His voice, that noise so rich, so deep that sounded like melted chocolate, and it somehow came from his throat even when he tried to groan.

Boy, were you into deep.

But it was much better to think about how hot you found Talbott than this dreadful feeling following you today.

-You’re awfully quiet, you know, he ended up saying. It shows that you’re usually the one maintaining conversation, we’re being awfully silent today.

Bugger, now he had noticed you were day dreaming.

-Sorry, I suppose the ambiance is getting to me. With Quidditch, the Cursed Vaults, my brother and… the many other things I do in a year, I never really stop to... think.

-I never noticed. So Hogwarts Curse Breaker, prefect, and top-notch student doesn’t stop to think.

-You really like to make fun of me, don’t you?

-I love the way you react when I do.

-You’re such a tease, Winger.

He smiled at you and you felt you were done for. That smug awful little smile. You hated it. It looked way too endearing for your own good, so you turned your head and pretended to focus on your plate.

-What classes do you have this afternoon? Talbott ended up asking.

-I’m free since I passed last flying exam.

-Good. I’m free too.

-Why do I have the feeling you’re about to drag me somewhere in the woods to talk to me about ornithology in what seems like a three-hour class?

-Who do you think I am, you? I was just thinking we could go to the Owlery together. You look like you need to get away from all… this.

He gestured at the Great Hall and at what now looked like a huge sea of people. He knew you way too much compared to some of your other friends. You didn’t even hint to the fact you weren’t feeling well at all, yet he knew you didn’t.

-You’re way too good at knowing what I’m thinking of. It’s depressing.

-Not really. I just figured even you needed an escape sometimes. It’s not like you to be so distracted. And let’s be honest, I like it better when you’re cheery.

He was right, again. It was not like you. But now, Hogwarts seemed so liveless, so useless to you. You did not want to do anything or see anyone. It felt… empty. So you had to fill up your mind, and it turned out it only filled with thoughts of him when he was around. And there was no way you would tell him that.

-It’s even worse than I thought, said Talbott after a moment. You worry me right now.

-Wouldn’t have taken you for the type to be worried about me. It’s cute.

-Don’t pretend you’re okay by joking. Besides, how do you even expect me not to worry about you? We tell you “Don’t go there, don’t do it, it’s dangerous”, and then you’ll get all smiley and stubborn and say “Sweet, danger! Let’s go there, what a ride!”

-Oh, shut it.

Okay, Talbott could be quite vexing sometimes. Your mouth started to form a pout and you stayed silent while he ate. You could feel he sent some looks your way, but you were too busy pretending he didn't exist to care. 

Five minutes into it, you couldn’t stand it anymore. You were still upset, but as you could only think of him right now, either you were going to hit him, or hug him. And somehow, you felt he wouldn’t be pleased by either options. 

-I need to go.

You got up and finally looked at his bewildered face.

-I thought you didn't have any classes? he asked.

-Huh… yeah. But I… have something to tell Bill. And Charlie. A… Prefect thing.

-Oh. I.. see?

Talbott always seemed tense whenever one of the Weasley boys were involved. You supposed they made him feel insecure with how passionate and driven they could be. Anyway, you could see him tense the moment you mentioned Bill, but per usual he didn't say a word of what was going on in that pretty head of his.

-... Join me in the Owlery after you're done?

You raised an eyebrow at Talbott's question, but decided to not think about it to much. This certainly was bad for your brain.

-Sure. Look forward to it. 

You ended up smiling at him without forcing it despite how nauseous you felt. That felt like a win. You rushed to the corridors and ran straight into the Weasley boys, Percy included. 

-I'm sorry Percy, but I need to grab those two, prefect thing. You muttered without leaving room to protestation.

Bill seemed a bit startled when you grabbed his arm and dragged him through the corridor, but didn't say anything, and per usual, Charlie didn't find useful to ask you any question.

You supposed they knew better.

When the three of you reached the prefect bathroom, Bill finally spoke.

-You need a massive Weasley hug, right ?

And then the dam broke.

-It feels too much like home here. It’s so empty and lifeless, and I can’t feel anything but dread if that makes sense, and then Talbott comes in and has the nerve to speak, and then I was thinking “either I hug him or hit him” but honestly, if I stayed inside this hall I would probably have puked on him.

You took a breath, then looked at the Weasley brothers.

-I need a ton of Weasley hugs, if I’m still entitled to them.

-Oh, come on. You’re an honorary Weasley. You’re getting a hug.

Charlie reacted faster than his brother, wrapping his arms around your shuddering form. Bill followed suit, engulfing both of you with a smothering hug that was definitely all you needed right now.

-Hey, do you know there’s a species of small plush-like dragons in North-America that are reported to comfort children by eating their bad dreams?

You laughed. Of course he would speak about dragons. Charlie always spoke about dragons.

-Of course I don't, Charlie. Only you would know that.

-Brother, less talking. More hugging, ordered Bill.

Lost in this mass of ginger hair, you felt a little more at ease. When they let you go, you giggled.

-Oh boy, I don’t know what I’d do without the both of you… I don’t really know what happened to me. It felt like I was overwhelmed with… nothingness, if that makes sense?

-... You said it felt like home to you. And if I’m by any means right, home really doesn’t feel good.

-Home feels… More and more empty, is all. I don’t really want to talk about it. I just… I really needed emotional support, I’m sorry I grabbed you both like that.

-Hey, listen. Anytime you need, we’re there. You’re our new sibling, that’s how it is now, said Bill. 

-Wholeheartedly agrees with that brother of mine. 

-Now, have we cheered you up enough so we both can go and eat? Not that I don’t like hugs, but they don’t fill up a man’s stomach.

-Yes, yes you did. Thanks a lot.

-Anytime.

They moved to get out of the prefect bathroom and made their way to the Great Hall.

-So, what exactly are you going to do this afternoon? I have to pass the flying exam, but you did so last week, Charlie asked.

-No real plans whatsoever. Talbott said something to me about going to the Owlery, but I don’t really know if I’m up to it. 

-That boy is smitten with you if I’ve ever seen it, pointed Bill. He’d never ask anyone else to go to the Owlery with him.

-Merlin’s beard, no. He’s just more sensitive than you think.

-Cut the crap, I know you like him too.

Busted. You bit your lip, but your cheeks flushed red nonetheless. If anyone saw you right now, they might think someone transfigured you as a strawberry and failed miserably to turn you back to a human being.

-I think you should go there. You shouldn’t spend today alone, and it’s unlikely Talbott would force you to talk if you don’t want to.

-Sure…

You stopped walking in the middle of the corridor.

-I’ll be going there, then. Thanks again for… everything. 

Bill winked at you and you watched as the Weasley brothers disappeared when they turned. The uneasy feeling began to spread again in your chest and you did your best to suppress it.

-Come on… You muttered between your teeth.

You faced worse things than that, you should be able to get on with your day.

The thought of Talbott, waiting for you at the Owlery and being disappointed that you didn’t join him became more and more dreadful in your mind. And while, somehow, you felt awkward going there, you thought it was even worse to be a bad friend to him. 

Bill’s words echoed in your mind. You didn’t find it really… logical. Talbott liking you, really? He liked quiet, calm, composed people. Or you thought he did. And while you could be all that, you were pretty much the dangerous type. He couldn’t possibly like that.

And yet, you liked the idea, but you pushed it in the back of your mind. You had to focus on being a good friend. He deserved to have a good friend, not a friend that was gushing over him like a first year marveling at his transfiguration’s skills.

Though, when you noticed him in the Owlery, you found it overly difficult. You had become friends something around two years ago, and boy had he changed. His face that perpetually seemed frozen in a frown surely smiled more now, but that was not the only thing. He had a lot of growth spurts, and he was tall, and lean. While you had been around the same height before and you were taller than most of the students in your year, Talbott towered above all of you. As if he even needed you to find him more handsome now, it kinda looked like he was constantly telling you “watch me, i’m getting better every day!”. And if he knew what you were thinking about, he would probably tease you about it.

-A little birdie told me that infamous animagus Talbott Winger was around here. I wonder who that is?

Talbott turned and smiled at you. There was an owl he seemed to care for in his hand, and it spreaded its wings a bit more at your sight too. 

The two of you had become a known pair with the birds here, and some of them seemed to recognize you. This one looked pleased to see you, and you walked over to Talbott to greet the bird.

-Ain’t that…  Ain’t that Merula’s owl? you said. What happened to her?

-I don’t really know. But she seemed a bit stunned when she flew back here, I figured she needed a bit of attention.

The owl made a little chirping sound at your hand on her head, and you smiled. Birds were awesome. 

-Are you okay ? With… that “prefect thing” with Bill and Charlie?

-Yeah, sure. I mean… Why wouldn’t I be okay?

A nervous laugh escaped your throat.

-You look like you need a bit of attention.

-Oh boy…

-Listen, I’m not one to force you to anything, but you were there for me when I was feeling down. You even forced me to be your friend. Let me feel I didn’t let you in for nothing.

-You didn’t, I swear… But I can’t very well explain it. And it’s not against you that I can’t seem to think properly about that when you’re around. I just get… Overwhelmed.

Silence followed suit. Talbott seemed to study you, and his glare was almost unbearable to you. Whether it was because you were scared or because you wanted to get lost in his eyes, you didn’t know, but this uneasy feeling wasn’t really something you appreciated.

-I really can not seem to win against you, huh? Talbott muttered. 

He let go of the owl, then sat down on the floor, his gaze still trained on you.

-Come on.

You followed him a bit reluctantly, not even trying to put a distance between the two of you, because he would notice. He was too smart not to notice. It was not because you wanted to be close to him. Not at all. You tried to concentrate on your conversation.

-I don’t know what you’re talking about when you say “winning”... Are we fighting? Are we fighting and I was too busy self-wallowing to notice? I’m sure I was a terrible friend, I’m so sorry. 

-You talk too much.

An arm wrapped around you and you jumped.

-The Weasley always do that when you’re down. I’m not really good at this but… If you need it, I’m here. I’ll always be. I’m sorry if I’m overstepping.

-Oh no, this…  it’s fine. Really. Thank you. I guess… I guess I was afraid of annoying you. You got too much on your mind already.

-Then I was the terrible friend. But on a more serious note… I like you way to much for you to ever annoy me.

You giggled.

-Are you mocking me? Talbott asked, groaning.

-No! 

But you didn’t stop giggling.

-It’s just I fought so hard to get you to say we’re friends, I can’t imagine what it must have taken for you to tell me you like me.

-It didn’t take anything. I like you. Pretty much the easiest feeling about you I had to understand.

-So you got “feelings” about me.

-Including the fact that I like you, I got a lot of feelings for you.

And then, finally, it dawned on you.

-Wait, when you said you “like” me. You mean… “like” me “like” me?

-Whatever you say doesn’t make any sense.

You raised your head and finally got to get a glance at him. He looked a bit confused, and his gaze couldn’t seem to hold yours, but the sunlight fell on him and he had never looked more handsome than now, basked in golden rays that just made his eyes stand out.

-Talbott, you won’t make me believe you didn’t understand what I just meant, you’re not stupid.

-I’m not, but what you said could easily be interpreted in… other ways.

The way he avoided your gaze made it impossible for you not to smile. He was cute. He looked cute.

-I need to rephrase it then, to avoid ambiguity?

-Only if you want to… mumbled Talbott.

-Oh lord, you’re way too cute.

The words had escaped you but you didn’t feel bad about it. Not when Talbott’s eyebrows raised in surprise while still avoiding to look at you.

-Okay. Talbott Winger, are you saying you like me as in you want to be my boyfriend?

-This might be correct.

-Oh, so it is that way, huh?

Silence followed and Talbott turned to finally look at you. You couldn’t stop grinning like a fool. That day had started horribly, but right now was probably the highlight of the whole year.

-I’d expect more reaction from you. 

It then dawned on you that you hadn’t told him anything yet. You lost your smile, realizing that while this was exhilarating, you had no idea of this worked. And Talbott almost literally asked you to date him. Like, seriously date him. No secret meetings at the owlery. Dating. Like holding hands, hugging, kissing. Maybe more. Date. Him.

-The idea doesn’t seem to drown you in enthusiasm.

A little smile appeared on Talbott’s face. But it was not that warm smile he offered only to you. The comprehensive look he sent you didn’t have this affection lingering behind. His stance was not relaxed as it usually was. And his voice sounded cold, far from that rich sound that usually graced your ears. 

How many times did all those things scream at you that he had feelings for you? You didn’t really know. You knew when you had started to notice all of it. But knowing that all this time, he hadn’t said anything to you… 

And now that he did, you even managed to hurt him. And you could not bear it for one more second. You liked the fact he liked you way too much. You liked him way too much.

-Talbott? 

He didn’t react, simply looking outside the window.

-Talbott, look at me. 

He flinched, but once again, he didn’t move. Maybe he tried to collect himself or something, but you were having none of it.

-By Merlin’s bloody beaded braided beard, Talbott, look at me, please!

-How the bloody hell did you pronounce that? 

He finally turned his head, reluctantly, furrowed brows, and he looked at you while you tried on a little smile.

-Forgive me, okay? I didn’t want to seem insensitive.

-You don’t have to feel bad for that. I got it, you’re not interested, and you have the right not to be interested, but-

-Oh, will you let me speak, birdbrain? You interrupted him. I’m trying to explain myself here, don’t make me shut your pretty mouth myself!

-And how, pray tell, would you even make me shut my mouth?

A ghost of his usual smirk made its way on Talbott’s face. And you decided that, for real, he had not only lead you on, but he had teased you enough. Now was the time to not only tell him how you felt, but to play a little.

-I could kiss you, you said bluntly. Would you like that? 

Talbott’s mouth opened, as if he was too shocked to even process what you just said, and you worked on making the most innocent face you could manage. 

-Wouldn’t you? You continued. The idea didn’t shut your mouth, but you did stop talking. Too bad, I would have liked to kiss you.

-Do it.

-What? 

-Kiss me. 

A surprised gasp escaped your lips. You almost had forgotten Talbott’s arm around you, but you sure as hell were reminded of it when he pulled you closer to him.

-H...Hey, I might bump your nose or something, Talbott… you whispered, a bit flustered.

-I don’t care. Kiss me.

-Okay...

Your hands found their way on Talbott’s cheeks and you planted what felt like the softest kiss on his lips. It was barely a peck, nothing more, but it seemed to build a fire inside of you. That felt so much better than the dread from the morning that you started to giggle.

-What’s so funny?

-Oh my god, I never would have thought you liked me, how clueless was I?

-You didn’t really answer though.

You gave him another kiss, a bit longer, a bit clumsier too.

-I’d love you to be my boyfriend, Talbott.

And when he hugged you with all he had, you were sure of one thing. This moment, right here, right now, with him.

This felt like a real home.

[benevolentsam]

Fine

TW for graphic descriptions of eating disorders

WC: 2000, also on my Ao3

This is how Sam found himself on his knees in a rest stop bathroom in bum fuck nowhere.

His fingers were halfway down his throat and he was retching. He hadn’t eaten anything in the last day and a half, only drinking coffee and energy drinks. Jess might come to him in his sleep again and he didn’t know if he had the heart to face her. Since seeing her on the street, white gown hanging in the wind, Sam couldn’t control his thoughts. Angry thoughts.

You killed her Sammy.

And of course Dean would tell him otherwise, tell him that he’s a good and kind and selfless but he’s not. His mind wouldn’t stop saying awful things to him, so he had to do it.

He was in control of his own body; he was vomiting bile and stomach acid and that was his choice.

“Hey, Sammy, what’s taking so long?” Dean’s rough hands were knocking against the splintering door. If he pushed any harder, it would fall off its hinges and Sam would be exposed in all his bulimic glory. He gave a weak grunt, so Dean knew he was still alive. “We set off in ten, so hurry it up.”

Sam blinked back the tears, swallowed the slime in his mouth and stood. The ground was moving underneath him, he was certain, or maybe it was just him. He spat out the remnants of vomit. There was a bottle of water in the car he could use to wash his mouth out with. Dean would never know.

He sank into passenger seat, taking slow sips from the lukewarm water. A quick side glance from Dean told him he wasn’t as subtle as he thought he was being.

“You okay, Sammy?” Dean said. He hadn’t taken his eyes off Sam since he sat. “You’re looking a lil green.” Sam hummed, but Dean was looking for something else.

“I’m fine, dude, I promise,” Sam smiled shakily. “The whole thing with Bloody Mary freaked me a bit, but I’m fine.”

“If you’re sure.”

The car pulled out of the rest stop parking lot, and Sam let the sound of Dean’s tape fill the air. It was better than Dean knowing.

They left another hunt, the Hookman, and Sam felt okay again.

It had been a week since he’d last made himself sick. There hadn’t been the familiar clawing in his throat, no acid sloshing in his stomach. He was managing with coffee, milk and sugar as well, and one meal a day. His stomach was still angry, growling, but Sam was managing.

They were in the car when the rumble happened. It was early in the morning, checked out of their motel at sunrise, and Sam was starving. The front cab shook as his stomach grumbled, and Dean just gave him a look. Maybe he was worried, Sam could understand. Sleep had been running away from him and Dean. Dean noticed things he’d never let onto.

“You hungry, little brother?”

And Sam wanted so desperately to say no. That this was the best he’d felt in weeks. That he’d finally managed to find a way to make himself feel whole, food and all.

“Yeah.”

“What for? I’ll stop wherever you want, dude.”

They pulled into a diner in the next town they drove through. It was bigger than what they were used to, but the waitress was nice – flirted with Dean – and they served oatmeal as well as grease and meats. So Sam ate oatmeal, strawberry jam, tried not to run to the bathroom and cry.

It wasn’t enough.

When they stopped off at a gas station, Sam offered to pay. He bought as much candy as he could fit in his pockets, Dean oblivious in the front seat. Chubby little Sammy, still with his baby fat and all. The chocolate melted in his pockets while he waited for Dean to look away. Sneaking bites between stop lights and bathroom breaks.

And when they stopped for the night, a no name motel off the highway, Sam was so full of sugar he felt sick. He threw up in shower and hoped to Hell Dean didn’t hear him.

There was something evil inside of him, Sam was sure.

That was the only reason that Sam had for his premunitions. On the way to Lawrence, Sam made Dean stop every few hours so he could make use of the bathrooms. The knees of his jeans were starting to turn dark with dirt every time he knelt over a toilet bowl.

Their first stop, Dean had insisted on them getting food. More than anything, he insisted on Sam getting food because he skipped dinner the night before. They caught the lunch rush at a drive through Burger King. Thank God, because when Sam said he didn’t want fries he could pass it off as not wanting to wait.

When they stopped for the fifth time, Dean started to get suspicious. Sam’s hands were starting to shake every time he got back in the car.

“You know I’m not mad at you,” Dean told him.

“Huh?”

“I’m not mad at you,” Dean repeated, “for having these visions or whatever. I wish you’d've told me but, you’re not bad for having them.”

Lying, Sam, he’s lying. Evil little monster you are.

“Okay.”

“So you can stop going to the bathroom to cry or whatever.”

“I’m not crying,” Sam said fast. Too fast. He coughed. “I’m not, I just feel sick, okay?”

“Not okay, you’ve been feelin’ sick a lot lately,” Dean said. He took one hand off the steering wheel and slapped it on Sam’s forehead. “Are you like sick sick? We’ll stop off at a drugstore and get you some meds.”

“Dean, I’m fine, it’s just the visions, they make me feel nauseous.”

Dean nodded, because he couldn’t dispute it. Lying would keep Dean off of him for a while.

There were dark spots in his vision. Splitting migraines and shaking skin, field of vision narrowing so fast it sent the world spinning.

It should have been a simple salt and burn.

And there Sam was, half collapsed to the floor, stomach lurching at the emptiness. Starvation and sickness went hand in hand, and Christ, Sam was sick.

Dean was still off with him, you hurt him, Sam, of course he hates you, and Sam was clinging to a grave to hold himself up. Simple salt and burn. Sam was pathetic, he knew because Dean could manage just fine, and Sam was staggering along. Body empty and bones weak.

He hadn’t eaten since the asylum. The words he said to his brother were still running around his head. If he ate, maybe he would forget but. He didn’t deserve to forget, or to eat, because he had to be the best brother he could be to Dean. Had to prove himself. Had to-

And when his legs gave up underneath him and when the ground became home, he thought that maybe this is what he deserved. Face down in the dirt, in pain. He deserved it.

Dean caught up with him, eventually, saw Sam collapsed and decided that the ghost did it. Sam was too exhausted to tell the truth. So Dean dragged Sam home, watered him, fed him chicken noodle soup, hoped his little brother would regrow.

Sam had to regrow, didn’t he?

When Dean nearly died in Nebraska, Sam nearly died with him.

Sam should have been there to save him. Sam should never have brought him to the shady faith healer. Sam should have been better. Better, Sam, you can always be better.

The food at the hospital was bland. Easy to wolf down without a second thought. While Dean was holed up in his hospital cot with scratchy sheets, Sam was in the corridor feeding dollar bills to a vending machine. He’d emptied his wallet before he was satisfied with how much junk food he had. Empty calories. There was just enough guilt gnawing at his stomach, that he left a few candy bars on Dean’s bed.

It’s a small condolence when you’re going to die.

Sam spent the next few days hunting a reaper and scraping his insides. Dean, barely healed, was doing everything Sam could and more. Sam was hunched over a porta-potty, fist in mouth. There was only so much he could bring up, slime and chocolate, before he started bringing up blood.

He spat it out and pushed his fingers further down.

And at the next motel they stopped at, there was bloody bile when he brushed his teeth.

Sam wasn’t like Max, he wasn’t. But they had something in common with their powers. Dean would never say anything, but Sam noticed he’d been looking at him differently. And why shouldn’t Dean be scared of his own little brother, the freak.

Sam was leaning on their motel toilet, too weak to carry himself.

Evil Sammy. There’s something so evil inside of you.

Maybe if he broke himself, pulled his insides out of him, he could get rid of it. And so he heaved again, hoping to find whatever black sludge was tainting him.

“Sammy?”

Dean was stood in front of him, blurry, three Deans, vision spinning. But Dean was there and he knew that Sam was evil and that he couldn’t get it all out and. He was babbling, Dean shushed him so gently.

“You got it all, Sammy, there’s nothing left inside ya.”

The grip on Sam’s arm was vice tight and he couldn’t move as Sam pulled him away from the toilet. They were sat on a bed, Sam’s vision coming back to him and he could see how angry Dean was.

“I’m sorry.”

And Dean didn’t say anything for a while, just blinked. If Sam didn’t know him, he might’ve thought Dean was hiding tears. But Winchesters didn’t cry, and that was just another reason Sam felt like he didn’t belong. Not like them, Dad doesn’t want you back-

“Sam, are you listening?” Dean asked, voice hoarse. Sam shook his head clear. “You’re all skin and bones, man. I thought it was Jess but it’s not, is it? Why can’t you just eat something?”

The guidance counsellor at Stanford had asked the same thing. His first-year dorm mate, Jess, that one really nice English teacher. Just eat something they’d ask with desperate eyes. And Sam, so broken, would pretend - eat something that he could purge later, and everybody would be happy again.

“Sammy, say something.”

“I’m sorry, Dean, I can’t,” Sam begged, but Dean looked at him like he answered wrong. “I don’t know how to eat normally anymore.”

“It’s not hard!” Dean was shouting and Sam was flinching and suddenly it was quiet again. “I’ll help you but, man, you gotta help me too. I don’t understand all this anorexia shit, I thought it was a girl thing. How do I fix it?”

“I’m not anorexic, and you can’t fix it. Sometimes I just don’t want to eat.”

“Why though? There's gotta be a reason.”

“I don’t know, it’s just nice to know if I don’t want to do something, I don’t have to do it. Everything’s just bad and this, this feels safe.”

“Listen to me, if anything’s keeping you safe, it’s me. Not your fucked-up brain that thinks eating is bad. Me. If you need control over whatever bad things are happening, I’ve got you, little brother, okay?”

And Sam didn’t want to talk about it anymore, because his stomach was growling and angry again. So, he said okay.

“Awesome, now we’re grabbing food. You can choose where, but you are eating. And I’ll be dammed if I catch you chucking up in a toilet again.”

It would be fine, Sam decided, if Dean knew. He was tired and fucking hungry and things would be fine. Dean was there to hold him if things span too far out that Sam had no control. Even if Dean didn’t understand, he was there and that’s all Sam really needed.

They took off in the impala to a diner downtown, so Sam could finally eat.

[6ix-dragons]

Their Desired Future (for Jerza Day 2020)

Series: Fairy Tail Pairing: Jellal/Erza Rating: T+ Word Count: 3,799 words

Note: This story can also be found on AO3, FFN, and Pillowfort!

UPDATE (June 22, 2021): I have updated this story, to make a few changes! These include edits to sentence structure/rewording for some parts of the story to improve the flow, and make them more readable. However, I've also changed a certain part that happens later in the story, by adding more to it! I hope you enjoy these changes, and the updated story itself!

---

It was a little late in the morning, when retching noises erupted from outside the half-open door, leading into the bathroom.

Within the room, a young, redheaded female had found herself on her knees, hunched over the toilet. Clad in only her violet silk bathrobe, the scarlet-haired woman braced strongly against its seat. Her fingers firmly grasped onto it, as she emptied out the contents of her stomach into the bowl below.

Breathing heavily, the redhead coughed, sputtered, and wheezed, before spitting out the remnants from her mouth. She groaned woefully, her lips twisted to a deep scowl.

"Ugh…this…damned illness!" Her trembling body heaved mightily, while she leaned up more against the toilet's seat. "I swear it's been like this, for almost a couple of weeks, already!"

Erza then suddenly grunted, freezing in place, when she felt another wave of nausea hit the core of her body. The intense churning in her stomach had eventually come to pass, without forcing her to throw up—but, it left the redheaded woman with great concern that perpetuated with every passing moment.

A deep sigh escaped her breath. "Seriously," she muttered, lifting her head up from being face down towards the toilet's bowl, for long. "What is going on with me, right now?"

In her mind, she could recall how it all progressed, and culminated, into the predicament she currently experienced, just now. First, she felt mildly nauseous at times, the week prior. Initially, she brushed it off, thinking she had caught some kind of stomach virus. That is, until it all escalated in the next few days after, when she found herself rushing towards a restroom.

It just seemed to hit whenever it wanted to, but Erza knew that whenever it did, it hit her hard. It especially hit her, every time she had taken a bite out of her favourite foods—including her strawberry cakes. In fact, it was so bad, that even the very scent of those cakes had sent her running straight to the toilet. She just found it so odd that it would even happen like that.

The other times Erza had used the toilet, during the days after her mild illness, was when there was a sudden urge to relieve herself. It happened more frequently than she thought, having felt her bladder fill up more than a few times, every day.

Flushing the toilet with a single push on its tap, the female Scarlet gingerly moved towards the mirror above the sink. Grabbing a face towel, she wiped the bottom-half of her face, before rinsing the towel under the sink's faucet.

As she did, she closely observed her own reflection in the mirror, parting away the fringes of her hair that stuck to her forehead. Beneath her messy tresses that were tied into a high ponytail of sorts, her face was flushed with burning red, from the great exertion her body previously made. Even that, however, had failed to hide the dark shades that slowly formed underneath her eyes.

Erza could also recall in her mind, of how fatigued she was, during those same days—when her illnesses gradually worsened. Just like the nausea, she found herself a lot more tired, at any given time. It truly wasn't like her, to fall asleep in the middle of anything. It was even the case for this morning, when she got out of bed a couple of hours later than she'd usually been.

'No, really,' she thought, pressing her fingers against her temples that ached within, while she returned the damp face towel onto a wall-mounted hook. 'What the hell is going on with me?'

The redheaded woman frowned at the aches that pounded away at her head and across nearly every muscle in her body. 'Ugh,' she groaned at the pangs of pain throughout her muscles. 'Where's Jellal, when I needed him the most?'

As she noted in her own mind, her lover and husband had already left their house, off on his own accord. Of course, he had woken up earlier than her—hence, the lack of his presence around their house. And, yet, it would be nice if he was still here…if only to take care of her whims, and needs.

While she began brushing her teeth, and rinsing her mouth thoroughly, Erza thought of every single reason, as to why she continued to experience these symptoms. There was then a thought that surfaced in her mind—one that made her much nervous than how she felt with the symptoms she recently experienced.

Finishing her final rinse of her mouth, the scarlet-haired female stepped out of the bathroom, where she ended up in their bedroom. Taking the calendar off from her nightstand, she peered carefully at the current month it was on. Erza counted back the days, with the grueling question on her mind: 'When was the last time I had my period?'

She gasped aloud, eyes widening, upon the realization that her previous period had occurred the week before those symptoms started.

'No…it can't be,' the redhead narrowed her eyes at the calendar, in disbelief. 'I couldn't have missed it, last week…right?'

Turning away from the calendar, Erza stared into the open void, trying to remember the last time she made love with her husband.

In her mind, there was no denying it that both her, and Jellal were…sexually active with each other. Quite even so, in recent memory. However, for each time they did the deed, protection was always used. Although, there were times when she'd assumed that it was a 'safe day' for her, too.

Whether or not they had used protection for the last time they made love to one another, it really didn't matter much to her, anymore. The rising suspicions in her mind already pointed to a single, potential cause that could dramatically shape the course of not just her life…but, together, with him, as well.

Erza's breath stilled, as the unnerving thought of it all had sent her stomach bloating, and churning away, yet again. Holding a hand against her belly, the sudden wave of nausea had come, and gone, without much incident.

She shook her head, after, her breathy sigh drawn out.

Opening the top drawer underneath her nightstand, her hand crept into the furthest corners of it, before they were able to find what she was looking for. Pulling it out from the drawer, a small box filled with testing sticks was held in her hand.

As she remembered well, she bought it from a local pharmacy, only a few weeks prior. She had her own reasons for purchasing it—among them, in such situations like the one she currently faced.

Closing the drawer, Erza took the box with her down the stairs, into the kitchen. Placing the box on the countertop, she poured herself a full glass of water. Taking the box away from the countertop, the scarlet-haired woman read the instructions on the package, while she drank down the entire glass.

Bowing her head slightly, an unsure frown was plastered on her face. 'Will this…even work?'

The redhead took another moment to carefully examine the box, before she felt a familiar pressure building up in the lower regions of her body. Exerting a wistful breath, quietly, Erza placed the empty glass on the counter. Having opened the box, she took out one of the testing sticks from it, inspecting its pen-like shape.

She carried both the box and the testing stick with her, into the upstairs bathroom, where she set them aside on the sink's counter.

It was now, or never, for her, at this point.

Taking a clear, plastic cup, from a pile sitting atop a nearby shelf, Erza plopped down onto the toilet. Bringing the cup underneath her bathrobe, right between her legs, the redhead began to empty her bladder, sighing softly in relief.

---

With the testing strip portion of the stick fully dipped into the filled plastic cup, Erza could only sit and watch, from the seat of the toilet. Her fingers grasped the soft silk fabric of her bathrobe, trembling away with intense anticipation. The feelings of fear, and anxiety heightened in her mind, with every passing second—despite the test taking only ten minutes to complete.

It was just beginning to be a bit too much for the redheaded female, wondering what the result would be for her. She had to find a way to ease her nerves, to calm herself down, in all of this.

Rather than waiting for the test to finish, she decided to take a shower, in the meantime. Rising up and away from the toilet's seat, Erza untied the knot of her bathrobe, slipping it off from her bare body. Hanging it onto a wall-mounted rack, she undid her knotted strands of hair at the back of her head, freeing her long tresses that flowed down to her waist. She then stepped into the spacious stall, having opened the frosted-glass door to it, before twisting the taps around.

An airy sigh of content left her breath, as lines of water cascaded from the shower head, gently pelting over her exposed body. Erza found the warm water to have soothed her aches, and pains, from earlier, as she grabbed the bar of soap from the corner shelf.

The female Scarlet took in its pleasant strawberry scent, while running the bar across her arms. Her body, however, stilled, when she ran it down her midsection. Looking down on herself, with raised eyebrows, Erza placed her hand over her abdomen. Smoothing over it with her hand, she noticed that her belly wasn't as flat, and toned, as it was before. Rather, it had bulged out slightly.

"Huh," she murmured lowly, pressing her hand lightly against her midsection. "It must be all the food that I ate, lately…"

Moving the bar of soap towards her chest, Erza winced at the prickling pain that surged from her breasts, when she ran it against them.

"Oww," she hissed, taking the soap bar away from her chest. With a free hand, her fingers gave a few light pokes, and squeezes, against her bosom. Groans of discomfort sounded from the redhead, having felt the prickling jabs from within. "How are my breasts this sore? They weren't like that, before…"

Erza also noted right away, about how heavy her breasts were. While her breasts were already enormous to begin with, she didn't think, let alone feel, that they had grown in size—up until this point.

Whatever she may think of it all, it certainly didn't help allay the worries she had.

The scarlet-haired female finished her shower, by wetting her hair, and scrubbing it with her favourite shampoo. After a thorough rinse, she turned the taps off.

Clouds of steam rushed out from the stall behind her, as she swung the glass door open. Reaching for a large towel from a rack at the closest corner, Erza draped the cloth over her shoulder, holding onto it. There was a tall, full-length mirror situated at the wall beside the shower, where the redhead examined her own body with it.

Right away, she noticed the changes in her body that struck out to her, as the most obvious. Her burgeoned chest had indeed become larger, than what they usually were—having grown by almost a cup size, she figured in her mind. The areolae of her nipples also grew a bit larger, alongside, with the redhead having observed the slightly-darkening colour of them.

Lowering her gaze further below the chest of her mirrored self, Erza could barely notice the small bulge that formed around her lower midsection. Upon turning her body to its side, however, the bump had become more apparent to her.

Laying her hand over it, Erza released a low sigh filled with uncertainty. She then took out the large towel that she held over her shoulder, and wrapped it around her body. Taking a smaller towel from the same rack, she dried her hair with it, before wrapping it around the top of her head.

As she did, the chimes of a few electronic beeps reached the redhead's ears. They forced her attention towards the testing stick that was in the cup, signaling that its test was complete.

Holding back the gulp in her throat, Erza paced towards the sink's counter. The crimson-haired woman took a few deep breaths, while she carefully retrieved the pen-shaped stick from the cup. Her fingers trembled mightily, struggling to hold onto it.

'I…I don't know what to think…if it's true that I'm…!' Her bottom lip quivering, Erza closed her eyes, and flipped the stick over. '…Alright…you can do it, Erza. Just get this over with…'

Taking another deep breath to relax, as much as possible, Erza opened up her eyes, and peered down at the front side of the plastic stick.

A huge rush of air escaped the redhead, her body paralyzed in place. Her pupils shrunk within her eyes that grew wide at the results displayed on the pregnancy test that she took.

Two red lines filled the rounded rectangle, on the front side.

It was positive.

The redhead blinked for a few seconds, at first. "No…that can't be right…can't it?" She whispered to herself, finding her grip on the pen-like stick much shakier than before. Her breathing picked up immensely at this sudden revelation, along with the beating of her heart. "You've got to be kidding me…"

As the shock of it all had slowly worn off, a rush of emotions began to overwhelm her. Tears started to gather in her eyes, while she continued to stare at the positive test result, still processing it through her mind.

Erza sniffled, right as she looked down at her abdomen, placing a hand gently over it. With the tears threatening to spill from her eyes, she slowly brought herself back into the open shower stall, sitting down against the tiled wall that was still wet from her most-recent bath.

The tears in her eyes finally leaked out from the corners of her eyes, streaking down her face, as she locked her gaze at the stick. Eventually, the frown on her face turned to a smile of joy.

While she had yet to see a gynecologist to confirm everything, she was now more than happy to know that she was going to become a mother, soon. She was ecstatic, rather. Whatever fears and concerns that she had from the beginning had already faded away, with this finding of her own.

Taking her eyes off the stick, they flew back towards her belly, where her hand remained over it. Sniffling again, Erza placed the stick onto the damp floor, resuming her gaze towards it. She then turned her sights back to her abdomen, wondering to herself about how she'll break this kind of news to her husband.

---

"I'm back, Erza!"

It was later into the evening, when the young, blue-haired male returned to their residence.

Closing the front door behind him, and locking it, Jellal noticed the odd silence that greeted him, right after he stepped in.

"Eh?" He raised his eyebrows, as he called out her name, again. "Erza?"

Her voice came out from around the corner, leading into their living room. "I'm right here!"

His lips crept to a smile, as he walked into the room. He found her seated on their sofa, in her blue silk bathrobe, with her hair tied back into a high ponytail. Only the lamp at the side table next to her had provided the lighting, for the entire room.

"Jellal." The redhead greeted him with a heartwarming smile. "How was your day?"

The cobalt-haired male held back an elated hum. "It was actually nice," he replied with a small grin. "I got to go out more, with Natsu, and the others."

"That's pretty good to hear." Erza gave a soft simper, in response—before she casted her eyes away from him, with a slight frown.

It didn't take long for Jellal to notice that something was off about her, right away. "Is…is something wrong, Erza?" His eyebrows cocked upward at her. "Something on your mind, perhaps?"

"Jellal," she softly requested, scooting aside to make room for him, as she placed her hand on the empty seat. "Please sit down with me."

Blinking for a brief moment, Jellal took up the seat next to her, with a more concerned expression on his face.

"Erza…what is it?" He placed his hand gently over hers. "It's okay to talk to me…"

Taking the moment to go through what she wanted to tell him, said redheaded female took a shallow breath, mustering the courage to do so. "Jellal," she began, quietly. "Do you remember those times, when I got very sick, through all of last week?"

Jellal nodded his head shortly. "Yeah." He brought his hand at the back of his head. "You told me it was a bad stomach virus of some sort."

Erza's frown widened, as she glanced away from him. "Well, it's not actually that."

He raised a curved brow at his wife. "Then…what is?"

Finding it in her heart to go ahead with it, the redheaded Scarlet turned to face him directly. "Well," she revealed, with a small smile. Her smile gradually cracked open to its brightest, as she continued, measuring her pauses carefully. "What if I told you…we are expecting a new addition to our house…our family?"

"F-Family?" Jellal initially blurted out, trying to make sense of her question, before everything slowly dawned on him. "Wh—what…w-wait…E-Erza…a-are you trying to tell me, y-you're—"

Surprise instantly took him, when, in one instance, he saw her rise from the sofa. In the next, she suddenly grabbed his hand, and placed it against her abdomen.

"Yes, Jellal," she finally spoke up, excitedly. Tears welled in the corner of her eyes, as she did. "It's true…I'm pregnant."

Gob-smacked at the news from her, the azure-haired Fernandes didn't know what to make of it. He remained silent, still staring at her with incredulous eyes, and his jaw hanging slightly ajar. He then turned his sights awkwardly away from her.

Erza's eyes widened at him, as she broke the silence first. "…Y-you okay, Jellal?"

She then gasped, when she felt his arms wrap around her. Quickly standing on both feet, Jellal had leaned in closer to her.

"Yeah," he sniffled, burying his face against the crook of her neck, smiling ecstatically. "You have no idea how happy I am, to hear this from you."

With wondrous eyes, Erza blinked for a second. She smiled serenely, letting the tears flow down her cheeks, while she ran her hand gently over the back of his head.

Another moment passed, before Jellal finally released his arms from her. Crouched down, on one leg, his eyes darted to where her midsection lay. He curiously rested his hand over it, through her bathrobe. "Did you see the doctor, already?"

"Ah…yes," she nodded. "I did see the doctor earlier this afternoon…and, she confirmed that I am, indeed, pregnant."

Parting open the flaps of her bathrobe, Jellal managed to feel the exposed skin of her abdomen, stroking his hand around it. "How far along are you, right now?"

Erza held back a small giggle. "A little more than eight weeks," she explained. "That's how my doctor told me." She then took out a postcard-sized photo from the coffee table, handing it over to her husband. "She was willing to take an ultrasound scan, as well."

Jellal was amazed, upon viewing the photo print of their child—no larger than a cue ball—currently developing within the confines of her womb.

"I can't believe it," he murmured in awe, before placing the photo back onto the table. His eyes returned to her belly, having felt its slight bulge with his hand. "More than eight weeks, already…"

Erza maintained her gaze onto her husband, below, smiling happily under awestruck eyes. The redheaded female then felt her husband's lips press against her belly, as he left a few kisses against it.

"H-hey!" She giggled to his warm touches. "That tickles!"

"My apologies," Jellal chuckled. "I can't resist." He then looked up at her, while he took her hand, bringing his large one over it. "Although, I must say, Erza…I want to thank you."

A tinge of red covered across her face, as she blinked. "For what?"

"For everything," he answered, from the bottom of his heart. "For giving me another chance in life." He gently moved his hand around the back of hers. "For being there with me, every step of the way." He then brought their hands together, over her abdomen. "But, most importantly…for making me a father." He flashed a bright smile at her, under weeping eyes. "I'll be there for you and our child…always."

In the back of his mind, this was the best result that could ever happen for both of them. This was a desired future—not just for him, or only for her. But, it was theirs. Together.

Their desired future.

And, it finally became reality.

Tears started to leak from her eyes, again. "That's so sweet," she gasped out, before her lips broke open into a heart-warmed smile. "Yes. Yes, Jellal. I know you will." She softly stroked her hand over his. "The baby and I are very fortunate to have you. Thank you, Jellal."

Rising up onto his feet, the azure-haired male wrapped his arms around her, once again. Erza returned his hug, bringing her arms around him. Gently releasing her from his hug, Jellal's hands remained on her arms, as he leaned in to slant his lips over hers. Erza sighed delightfully, pressing her lips back against his.

Both then pulled their mouths away from each other, the now-expecting couple catching for air. Jellal brushed his fingers gently against the side of her face, wicking away whatever tears were left on her skin.

Erza narrowed her eyes at him, her lips stretching to a curious smirk. "What are you thinking now?" She then gasped, when she felt him scoop her up, with his arms. "Eh? J-Jellal?!"

Carrying his wife in his arms, Jellal gave her a naughty smirk of his own, curving an eyebrow. "I thought…maybe we can celebrate this kind of news, upstairs." His curved brow then hitched upward. "Shall we?"

The blush on her face deepening into the colour of her hair, Erza blinked at him, with stunned eyes. She then released a long, mischievous giggle, in which her husband chuckled back.

With her arm around his neck, Jellal carefully carried his now-pregnant wife out of their living room, and up the stairs to their bedroom—where the real fireworks started from there.

[anaise]

A Short but Unforgettable Trip

Photo Source: M.studio - stock.adobe.com

Note: Pictures aren't mine because the camera that was used on this trip was burned when we experienced a fire accident way back in 2018.

It's been so long since I last travelled but I can still remember the trip that I had enjoyed. It was February, me and my aunt decided to visit Baguio, this wasn't my first time going to Baguio, in fact I've went there with my family way back. I picked this trip because I've barely remember the trip that I first had in Baguio and my memories from this trip is more fresh in my mind.

It was dawn, so early in the morning. Me and my aunt are getting ready so we're not late for our long ride. Its very important not to miss this because we are to ride a public transportation for our trip, and there's only two bad things that could happen if you miss your allotted schedule: first is you completely miss the chance of going on a trip and second you made it late but find yourself stuck on an unmoving bus because of traffic. The moment we arrived at the bus station (Victory liner) the ticket line was so long, thankfully we had already reserved our bus beforehand, that way our trip will be less hassle and it would go smoothly.

Being in the bus I remembered that listening to music and watching outside the window had kept me distracted and not bored. I'm a type of person who feel nauseous in moving vehicles that's why I'm really thankful I had prepared a long playlist while we're on the road. There are some stops for bathroom breaks in between the trip. I can't fully count how many stops we've had before arriving but every time we have to go out of the bus I always make sure to make the most out of it because the ride is very long.

At exactly lunch time we've arrived at Baguio, as I remembered, it took us 7-8 hours of travel just to get there. Since the same bus terminal that we rode was near the hotel, in fact there's even a shortcut from the bus terminal to the hotel's open restaurant, I just knew that fact by the time we're off to go back home so this information will be much of help on your first day. While leaving the bus, outside there will be people who will offer you a place to stay, I can't entirely suggest what best place to stay but our stay in the hotel was comfortable and there's a buffet every morning.

Photo Source: https://www.wyndhamhotels.com/microtel/baguio-city-philippines/microtel-by-wyndham-baguio/overview

Accommodations aside, as a person who grew familiar of Manila's climate, Baguio feels so new and so different, it made me feel the same chills I had when I first arrived there. It was sunny but the temperature was not as hot as it looks, it's cold enough to compare to Manila's temperature when it's raining. Aside from a greener environment, uphill and downhill roads the scenery was not so different from the bustling environment of Manila's everyday look, maybe it's because we stayed on Baguio's more "modernized" part, where there are buildings, restaurants and shops everywhere, making it all too familiar and not so different.

Our first destination was Burnham Park , we decided to go there after eating our dinner in the hotel. The park at night was as lively as i expected it to be in daylight. It's a fun place to stay together with your family and friends, the park was full of people but not too crowded, a perfect place for picnics and night walks! There are also some entertaining stuff you can do in the park like riding a mini boat on the lake or riding a small car. We also stumbled upon a vendor who is selling taho, what really amazed me was that they sell strawberry flavored taho, and it is delicious, what tops it is that they sell it hot even if it's already night time, making it a perfect treat to eat when strolling in the cold night park in Baguio.

Photo Source : https://makanpamore.wordpress.com/2015/10/18/taho/

My aunt had some business to do in Baguio so we mostly stroll when its afternoon and night time, on our second day we decided to check the night market, it's not my first time visiting the night market but it definitely feels like a first time experience once again. True to its name the night market only exists when the sun is out, there's this big street that become a place bustling with tents and carts by the time vehicles aren't permitted to use the road. Seeing once again how people wait for that time and as they started to build this market one by one never seizes to amuse me. The night market is a good place to go if you're thinking of buying any items you need or taken a liking in because the prices there are very affordable.

Photo Source: https://baguiocityguide.com/after-re-opening-yesterday-baguio-city-mayor-suspends-night-market-operations/

On the third day my aunt and I decided to make the most out of that day, because by the next day we'll be going back home. Our first itinerary was to visit a rose farm but we hadn't had the chance to, because it rained and public transportation was a lot harder to find, it might took a lot of our time for that day so we change our plan and decided to wait for the rain to stop and walk on the streets of Baguio instead. While walking we stumbled upon book stores, art stores and of course souvenir shops. I know these stores aren't that different from what people are used to seeing in Manila but the stores there has that authenticity feel to them, and despite of being a common shop it feels as fascinating as Baguio itself. The book shop (Mt. Cloud Bookshop) has stacks and stock piled of books in them and that familiar smell of books and their pages is pungent, oddly enough it feels inviting and cozy.

Photo Source: https://lemiapp.com/card/5cf6a27d3c3db042273206d9

As afternoon came me and my aunt went to a famous place (Good Shepherd) that sells well known peanut brittles, Lengua and best selling jams, flavored in strawberry and ube. Even though we have to wait for our order (because the line was so long) it was worth it and its perfect for gifts! I also suggest that you should buy as many strawberries and honey if you happen to visit Baguio because they sell them fresh and cheap there.

Photo Source: https://shopee.ph/atsiiscd

By night time we ate on a restaurant called Good Taste it's a very famous restaurant recommended to us as well, as the restaurant's name suggest the food there was not just good but amazing. For our dinner we ordered Baguio's delicacy Bulalo Steak and Buttered Chicken (the restaurant's best selling food) The food was superb! The food wrapped up our day happy and feeling good.

Photo Source: https://tribune.net.ph/index.php/2021/05/14/good-taste-founder-dies/

By the time we have to take our leave the same measures are done, we scheduled our departure ahead of time and wait patiently for our bus. The trip in Baguio was quite short , not all too many tourist spots mentioned in my travelogue and that's because our trip there was not really for visiting tourists spots but to unwind and feel a new environment for a change. I really wanted to share the common and everyday places in Baguio because I had felt a different sentiment out of all the supposedly common places there. It all felt familiar but different at the same time, it's not as grand or as long but its unforgettable. This trip was a fun trip for me and every time I reminisce about it I can't help but be happy and feel satisfied.

[g0ldengubler]

Chapter 10 ~ Strawberry Avalanche

A/N: AAAAAAA hey besties i'm baaaaaack! honestly, i lost all motivation for a couple of months, especially because wattpad is getting censored. i was scared that this story was going to be taken down, but now i've decided to keep going. Thankfully, this series is also on here so if nauseous is taken down on wattpad it will be here safe and sound. Also shortening chapters has been a nice thought. I'm sorry this one sucks i'm kinda rusty and this is more of a filler/catch up, but we're back at it again boizzz! Also, thank you so much for over 900 followers! Really really crazy but i'm so glad you guys are enjoying my fics. And I'm really glad everyone enjoyed lunchtime! I didn't think it would get that much love as I thought that kink wasn't something others would be into so I am planning on writing more one shots with other kinks I have. Things are just about to get good in nauseous...ok anyways i love uuuuuu <3

Category: Angst (??...yeah sure we'll go with that lol)

CW: Talks of cases; talks of murder

Summary: It's time to go back to work, and oh boy are they in for a "treat"

Word Count: 1817

masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Every time your alarm rang, you quote Cinderella at it, groggily saying, "Oh, that clock. Old killjoy." You hate waking up early, as sleep was such a beautiful thing in your book. When you were asleep, you were at peace, as if everything that had happened that day whether good or bad just went away. You were free in your dreams, running around like a child in a field of lavender. You had that dream here and there before you met Spencer. When the feelings for him grew over the course of a week, you started getting that dream frequently instead of waking up thinking you didn't dream or remembering a weird one. He would show up as a shadowy figure on the other side of the field and you would run over to it until you woke up once the figure turned around.

After you two made it official, the blur of the figure disappeared and turned into him. You would run as if it was the speed of light towards him, and he would turn around in a lilac colored cardigan, barely hiding the huge grin on his face. Spencer would pick you up around your waist and lift you up as he spun you around. Right before you kissed, however, you woke up. You were into the meaning of dreams, so you thought that at the right time, the kiss would happen.

As you got ready for the day, you couldn't stop thinking about the past month. You remember meeting Spencer and how your heart skipped a beat when your eyes first met in the conference room. You remember getting drunk and high with the team and how your boss was pretty much the life of the party without really meaning to. You laughed to yourself as the thought of Spencer high on edibles at Rossi's came in. He ate a whole brownie before Garcia could give a warning and once it kicked in it was hard not to laugh at his goofiness as he would only talk about Star Trek the whole night. He could've had the whole pot of spaghetti his munchies were so bad.

Garcia crept into your brain again as you got in your car. That night, instead of Spencer coming in to clean you up, it was Garcia.

With a wet washcloth in hand, she stood by the door and saw you on her bed, the laughter and voices echoing down the hall and into the room. You tried to cover yourself but she waved her hand away.

"Sugar cakes, don't worry about it," she said, walking over and sitting in front of you on the side of the bed. In a comforting way, she put a hand on your leg, rubbing it gently, "I'd be mad if it was other people on my bed going at it like rabbits. But you two? I don't seem to feel any steam coming out of my ears."

"Are you sure?" You asked, embarrassed, "I'm so sorry, Garcia."

"I'm just thankful that boy genius got laid."

The two of you laughed as she handed you the cloth. You took it and began cleaning yourself up, trying to clean what fell out onto the bed. Once you were done, Garcia gave you some advil and some water as you gave her the cloth back.

"Are you feeling ok, hun?" She asked as you were sipping on your water.

"Yeah, just a bit sore but nothing I can't handle." You hand her the glass of water back and fixed your pillows so they'd help you sit up.

"Reid is a very kind and respectful guy, Y/N," she said as she softly rubbed your leg, "I've known him since Gideon brought him on the team, I know he wouldn't do anything to hurt you."

"I see that in him," you said, "When he's not ruining me he's a total sweetheart and always open to trying new things if he wants to. He's really special to me, Penelope. I've never met someone like him. He's probably the first guy to want me for everything else, like the sex is just a bonus. Men back home were never like that."

Garcia smiled as she got up, looking down at you before leaning down and kissing the top of your head. "I'm glad you're here, Y/N. You've been the last missing puzzle piece for our team since you first walked in the conference room." Then she left, probably to let you rest.

You were still for a few minutes before you decided to try and get up. Once you were able to stand, you walked slowly out of the bedroom and back to the living room, which felt like it took you years to get to. You saw Spencer sitting on the couch next to Morgan, taking a joint from his hands. You watch as he put it to his lips and inhaled, holding it in for a sec before exhaling a big cloud out. He coughed before taking it back to his lips and took a couple more, handing it over to Jj.

As you parked in the parking garage, you remembered the butterflies you felt when his eyes caught yours. Morgan had got up and helped you walk to the couch, where you lay down with your legs on Spencer's lap. That night was so magical, but now you're back to work, dreading the amount of files that would be piled on your desk.

When you got out of the elevator to the 6th floor, you walked in the bulpin thinking you'd see Spencer at his desk, but your smile faded when you didn't. You looked around the room until you turned all the way around to the conference room, seeing all your friends in the window. You quickly-but calmly-walked up the ramp and into the room with a smile on your face, yet it went away again once you felt the room, seeing all their stern or worried faces.

"Y/L/N," said Hotch, "please take a seat."

"Is everything alright?" You ask as you sit next to Spencer. He locks his arm around yours and takes your hand in his, kissing it, knowing it was a way of his to comfort you.

Hotch was silent for a moment before he spoke. "While we were on our vacation, new cases have come to us. These cases were ones we had already solved, however."

No one spoke as he explained the two copycat cases. One was based from The Fox, a case they solved years ago, but it wasn't exact. The fox was more known for killing big families but this copycat killed small families, ones with only children. The other was one you knew all too well. A few years ago, couples were left in trunks of cars, all cut up and stabbed. You studied this case when it happened, and wrote an outstanding paper on it for class.

"We now have a copycat on our hands. This investigation will be going along while we also work on other cases. If needed, protection will be put for our loved ones. That is all. So far there hasn't been one to go to, but myself and Jj will let you know if one comes in."

With that, we all slowly walked back to your desks. Thankfully, yours was right in front of Spencer's. A part of you felt safe no matter what scenery you were in. But you still felt worried. With not being on the team for much time, you were scared for your friends. Stuff like this was part of the job, but that didn't mean you couldn't be human.

One thing was lingering in your mind the whole day...Was there a deeper connection between the two copycat cases?

~~~

Later that night, you finished your work for the day and headed home. Both you and Spencer felt too tired to do something, so you both went your separate ways. When you got home, you threw your bag and keys to a chair and fell on your couch as your dogs attacked you with love and kisses. Taking your boots off, you took your phone out and looked through your delivery apps to see if anything sounded good, but you didn't feel that hungry as you saw all the delicious options.

Remembering you had some wine on the counter, you got up and poured yourself a glass. You got changed into crewneck sweater and sweatpants that had U of M written all over it. Putting your hair up in a high ponytail, you made your way back to the couch and went through your phone, catching up on text messages from your dad, looking through memes and videos.

After a bit of time has passed, you were on your third glass and were feeling very tipsy. You turned on your speaker and went through your the music on shuffle before stumbling upon a song from high school, Strawberry Avalanche by Owl City. You hadn't listen to it or his music in years, so you decided to keep it on for old times sake. As the song got to the chorus, you felt your tipsy brain taking over, getting up from the couch and dancing along. Your furry friends-as Garcia would say-joined you as you picked up Draco's paws and gently brought him up on his back legs, while Benedict barked and went around in little circles, his eyes never leaving you.

You went to sleep after your dance party, wanting the comfort of your own bed rather than the less comfortable couch. As your children climbed on and settled down, you tried to drift off right away, wanting to go back to your dream, but you couldn't stop thinking about the deeper connection between the two cases. That feeling was bothering you beyond belief, as if it was on the tip of your tongue or right under your nose. 'They're not just copycats,' you thought, 'so then what's the other connection, if there is one?'

You sat up, letting your pillows support your back. You grabbed your notebook from the side table and pen and started writing down what you remembered from what Hotch said. They are copycats from two they have already solved. One in Detroit, the other in their own backyard. It couldn't of been anniversaries because they didn't happen on their exact days, but it could be revenge on the team.

You went deeper into the cases to feel an epiphany run through your whole body. The Fox copy killed smaller families, but the wife was left last. And in the Detroit copy, it was only straight couples and the women were stabbed the most.

This unsub was going after girlfriends and wives.

[bloommelon]

Everything Is Blue

WARNINGS: severe angst, suicidal themes, suggestive sexual content, eventual suicide, mental illnesses, eventual character death, unhappy ending, suicidal content, graphic suicide

A/N: please don't read if you're depressed, this is a very sad story but im proud of it because I actually finished something for ONCE. NONE of this is based on real life, it's all fiction. Jaehyun just fit my idea of this character, and I hope no one gets the wrong idea that I tried to glamorize suicide. And also, I do not feel suicidal and I am not depressed because of writing this, i simply got this idea while thinking I should try and write angst. On another note, I hope whoever reads this likes it or at least it makes you feel some type of emotion. Thank you. *i did not proofread at all btw*

Song: Colors by Halsey

✖✖✖✖

August 3rd

Jaehyun and I sat in a field of Nemophila by the river, the sun shining and clouds floating above us eating strawberries and our laughter filling the hot summer air. Jaehyun had taken me to the museum to see his favorite painting an hour beforehand, telling me it reminded him of me. It was a simple painting, blue sky with fluffy white clouds on a sunny day. I'd almost stayed home that day, not wanting to go anywhere due to a flurry of sudden panic attacks that week. "When you're feeling anxious, come here and call me and I'll come as quick as I can." At that moment, I'd been filled with happiness due to Jaehyun's caring nature but I should have been the one making sure he had somewhere to go when he was upset, but his feelings of sadness weren't noticeable back then. Giving him a hug wasn't enough to stop the pain he felt daily just from living. Laughter hurt, and so did seeing me smile making guilt rush through him at the fact that I brought him some happiness, but not enough for him to change his mind.

September 19th

Jaehyun wrote poetry about clouds and sunshine and the color blue. He would have  painted himself blue if it was socially exceptable. Most of the poems he let me read brought tears to my eyes, ruining my mascara. He always wiped the mascara off, then he'd kiss all my tears away telling me that's how poetry should make me feel. I told him many times how intense it felt, the emotions brought out by the poems he wrote and he'd stare at me and say" that's how i feel about you." Intense. Wildly. Airy. Bright and warm like sunshine shining down through clouds. Most people tell you to write when you're feeling blue to get whatever you're feeling out of your system so that you can feel yellow and bright again,but he still wished for the sun to poison him. He wished for dehydration and shock to take him away instead of writing useless poems.

October 13th

Friday the thirteenth. Bad omens were shown, I just didn't recognize them. I look back now and something had been off about Jaehyun that day. His smile wasn't the same. It was crooked in a way that it was almost a frown, but to outsiders it passed as a normal expression of happiness. He painted sometimes just like writing, and his paintings left me feeling blue just like the blue sky in august, like the painting in the museum, like the color of the walls in his room. It wasnt even a sad painting-he'd painted a red rose in a field of baby blue eyes by a river at night. It wasn't even sad, but when i touched the paper after it dried, I just wanted to cry. He'd held me telling me about the meaning behind it. "It's supposed to make you appreciate things and people that are different, but still appreciate the normal things and people too. No one should be left out. That everyone and everything is more than meets the eye, you just have to look deeper." The way he talked made me want to cry, and he could sense something was wrong, but the fact that I couldn't look deeper to notice his sadness made me tell him everything was fine. I pretended I was fine and I pretended he was fine, so that in the moment, I could feel like everything was fine when nothing about that day was fine. That night he'd went home and cried himself to sleep, and he'd almost done something heartwrenching but I couldn't ask him a simple 'are you okay?'. He would have lied anyways, but maybe if i would have pushed him to answer he wouldn't have cried alone that night or almost took a razor to his skin.

November 7th

Jaehyun and I would sit in my room for hours in comfortable silence, him drawing while i read books. He'd been noticeably upset on this day. To the point where I kept asking him what was wrong and was everything okay. He started rambling about death and blood to the point where fear bubbled up inside of me, spilling out into the world and when he noticed I was terrified, he had cried and apologized repeatedly. He'd thrown his drawing pad in the middle of all of this, it getting lost behind my bed. I'd held him for hours after that, hoping he would feel better and calm down. It worked on the outside, and I foolishly believed I'd helped him on the inside as well. He wasn't okay, and the way he had talked about blood and death so freely spoke volumes about what he thought of daily. If only I'd tried to look deeper. Most of us take what we see on the outside and assume that there's nothing more to see and we should look away as to not disturb the normalcy of the world.

December 25th

Christmas day was snowy and beautiful, the sun fighting it's way through the clouds to shine down on everything to try and melt the snow, but the snow was relentless and the roads icy. The gifts didnt matter that day as everyone was together and that made Jaehyun filled to the brim with happiness, which mattered a lot more. That night we lay together wrapped in nothing but the warmest blue blanket we could find, the snow falling against the window and the christmas lights above us in my room shining down us painting our faces in green and red. He was happy, but that didn't mean the pain had suddnely disappeared and that family made the bad thoughts run away, he was just hiding them. That night he whispered how much he loved me , lips against my temple. He told me I was the only gift he needed. He didnt know that he was the only gift I needed, and that him staying could have been so much better. Maybe that's selfish. On Christmas some people expect everything they want to be given but give nothing to others. That year, I was sadly part of the people who expect and was given everything I wanted but I gave nothing.

February 14th

Jaehyun's birthday. I had thrown him a surprise party that he loved, wearing a blue dress with pink hearts on it since it was also Valentine's day. Once he opened his gifts, which was a copy of the painting with the clouds on a sunny day that he absolutely adored and a necklace with my name on it in the shape of a cloud. His dimples stayed out all day, like I wish they would have stayed for life. As a Valentine's gift he gave me a blue rose and a painting of me by the river sitting in the field of Nemophila. That night I ended up in only his blue flannel with marks of his love on my skin the next morning,his whispers of "i love you more than anything" ingrained in my thoughts forever. I'd told him the same, but it didnt count as much since he said it first, and knowing now that that wasn't enough for him to stay breaks my heart all over again.

March 2nd

We spent the day walking around despite him being vocal of not feeling like getting out of bed, and he was a bit angry with me until I got him laughing by singing embarrassing 80's songs and dancing awkwardly. We both danced until we got tired, our legs exhausted and breathing was a difficult feat. I told him that he didn't deserve to be sad and he told me "i deserve whatever the world throws at me" which made me worry about him for weeks. I didnt tell him that, although maybe I should have. I just didn't want to make him feel bad when i started having panic attacks again because of it. He didn't know and didn't mean to, he just was in so much pain.

April 20th

He'd cooked for me on this day, telling me he felt a lot better. He appeared completely calm and peaceful like how some people get after doing things they love. Which he was good at cooking and enjoyed it, so I was extremely happy. He hadn't cooked in months-not like this. He was also baking. He wouldn't let me go in his kitchen. "It's a surprise, darling. Just be patient" Although he acted normal enough, whatever normal means, i sensed sadness coming from his being. After we ate, I felt nauseous. He turned into a concerning boyfriend rather than a happy one which made me upset since I knew he was keeping his sadness a secret. While he went to clean the kitchen after throwing a blanket on my cold body, I felt even more nauseous and after contemplating on whether or not to run to the bathroom my body decided for me. Vomiting isn't something anyone is fond of, and Jaehyun was even more concerned when he found me lying on the floor against the bathtub. He threw all the food away after that and blamed himself for me getting sick, though It was just a case of me eating way too much. Once in his bed, he kept apologizing and ended up crying but I held him and told him everything was okay. He didn't tell me that every small thing affected him so horribly it'd leave him wishing he'd never been born. He didn't know that those small things were things he couldn't help, but his brain told him that he ruined everything.

May 27th

Sitting in the field of Baby blue eyes with him felt different this time. More peaceful. We laid down side by side watching the clouds, he always said he wanted to float in the clouds but not anything about how he wanted to be buried like the roots of the nemophila we laid on. He didn't tell me he didnt want to grow anymore, not by himself and not with me-not with anyone. Instead he told me how much he loved me, that he'd die for me and told me it all day. He wouldn't let his hands off of me, never letting go of my hand or arm or hips. He wouldn't let go. He asked me to stay the night and keot me in his arms until I had to work the next day, getting upset when I left. He didn't tell me I'd only have a week or two left of this. Left of being in love, left of seeing his pretty smile and those dimples he was known for showing almost all the time. He didn't tell me he was looking for reasons to stay, trying so hard not to give up.

June 16th

When I'd woken up, a feeling of dread left me near tears all day. I hadn't seen Jaehyun in three days and it'd gotten late in the day without a word from him which was unusual. I pushed the uncomfortable feeling to the side until I'd decided to leave to go see him after calling him and texting him repeatedly. While walking out the door I remembered that day when he'd terified me with that talk of blood and death and him throwing his drawing pad. Worry filled my being, making me feel sick as I pushed my bed onto the side to find his blue drawing pad.

Tears stream down my face at the drawing I found. In my hands was the reason for all his weird behavior,all his guilt and all of his pain. He wanted to die. My Jaehyun wanted to disappear from this world forever. I throw the drawing pad in a random direction and run. I call all of our friends and his family, wanting to know if they had seen him. None of them had. I didn't want it to be true.

My legs carried me to the field of baby blue eyes by the streaming river, the sun shining down so brightly and the clouds reminding me of the painting Jaehyun loved so much.

My legs were already cramping but I pushed through that pain to find the love of my life laying in a field of nemophila, his wrists slit so terribly blood is all you could see. Flowing from his wrists to drip onto the plants under him, it was so red and gory I stopped breathing, running over to him to begin screaming while on the phone with one of his best friends. Johnny knew something was wrong, his voice got further away as he told Mark to call someone. To call 911, to get help.

In Jaehyun's hand was a a razor blade and I grabbed it, throwing the wretched thing far from us. I kept shaking him and screaming at him to get up. Nothing worked. Around his neck was the cloud necklace, and despite the horror I could see, he looked extremely peaceful, his eyes shut permanently. My Jaehyun was gone, and he'd died where he loved, but he'd felt so unloved to come to this place.

I'd never enjoy bright sunny days or museums again. I couldn't, not when I couldn't see Jaehyun's dimples or hold his warm hand. As much as he wanted to burn, he'd left the world cold. The sun still shined so brightly down on us as if nothing had ever happened in this place.

🌹

[lovemesomesurveys]

What Rhymes With “AY”? Warning: This survey has 114 questions

1. Do you enjoy listening to reggae music? I haven’t listened to much reggae music.

2. Have you ever rolled in hay before? No. I’m actually allergic.

3. Has anyone ever broken a promise they made? Of course. 

4. Last time you went to a café, what did you order? Coffee.

5. Have you ever been to a matinee performance before? No.

6. Would you like a chance to ride in Santa’s sleigh? Why or why not? Would it be like the one in The Santa Clause that had a hot chocolate and cookie dispenser? ha. Swap the hot chocolate with coffee, though.

7. Have you ever taken ballet lessons before? How about any other type of dance lessons? No. That was actually something I wished I could do when I was a kid and in high school. I thought the dance team was cool.

8. Do you own any sexy lingerie? Nope.

9. Have you ever caught a bouquet of flowers at a wedding before? Nope.

10. Do you know how to do the Whip/Nae Nae? I do, actually.

11. Have you ever played croquet before? Nope. 

12. Has a horse ever neighed at you before? No.

13. How much do you weigh? I’m not exactly sure, but I am definitely underweight. 

14. Do you ever wear a beret? No.

15. When’s the last time you’ve been to a buffet? Back in February. There was a breakfast buffet at Disneyland where you got to visit with various characters while you ate. It was cute.

16. Have you ever attended a cabaret? No.

17. Have you ever eaten at Swiss Chalet? No. Never even heard of it.

18. Do you know how to crochet? How about doing macrame? No.

19. Do you have a duvet on your bed? No.

20. What was the last thing that ricocheted off of a surface? My phone did.

21. What do you put on your ice cream sundaes? I’m good with just vanilla ice cream and strawberry syrup, but sometimes I’ll add chocolate syrup as well. Bananas and whip cream are also great additions. Wow, it’s been yearsss since I’ve had one but that sounds really good right now.

22. Have you ever woken up to the “Reveille” bugle wake-up call at summer camp? No. I’ve never been to summer camp.

23. What is your favorite entrée to order at your favorite restaurant? My favorite restaurant is Wingstop and I always get the garlic parm and lemon pepper boneless wings.

24. Is crème brulee your favorite dessert? I don’t like actual creme brulee, but I like the creme brulee latte at Starbucks that they offer in the winter.

25. Do you know anyone who wears a toupee? I don’t think so.

26. Have you ever made a soufflé before? Was it good? Nope. I like the spinach and artichoke breakfast souffle from Panera, though.

27. Do you prefer ice cream or sorbet? Ice cream.

28. Do you know anyone named Renee, Jay, Clay, or Ray? I know someone whose middle name is Renee if that counts, and I also know a Jay and a Ray.

29. Have you ever had café au lait? Yes.

30. Have you ever gone to a restaurant called “Chez ______”? No.

31. Hey, how’s it going? It’s almost 730AM I should be going to sleep. My medicine I took a bit ago is making me feel a little nauseous, too, cause I took it on an empty stomach. That wouldn’t have been a problem if I just went to bed, but nooo. :/

32. When’s the last time you wore a lei? It’s been several years.

33. Did you obey your parents when you were younger? Yes.

34. Who do you want to hunt down like prey? No one.

35. Have you ever had whey before? No.

36. What message would you like to convey to someone right now? Nothing at the moment.

37. Whose survey did you take last? I don’t know who made it.

38. Have you ever been to a bay before? Yes.

39. Do you have a bae? “Or nah.” Ha, old Vine reference. Anyway, no, I do not.

40. What’s your favorite day of the week? They’re all the same to me, really, since I’m not in school nor do I have a job.

41. Have you ever had to read “The Cay”? Nope. That title doesn’t ring a bell.

42. Are you feeling okay? I’m feeling tired, hot, and kind of nauseous. 

43. Do you know anyone who is gay? Yeah, a few people.

44. Do you like the acting of Tina Fey? Sure.

45. Have you ever listened to The Fray? Yes, I like a few of their songs.

46. Do you have any frayed clothing? No.

47. Do you prefer bluebirds or bluejays? Bluebirds.

48. Is May your favorite month? No. I only like saying, “It’s gonna be May” haha. You know, the NSYNC/Justin Timberlake meme.

49. May I ask you some more questions? Sure.

50. Have you ever voted “nay” to anything before? What? Yeah. I was a board member for a club in college and there were things we voted on. 

51. Have you ever wanted to make someone pay for something that they did? I’m not a revengeful person.

52. Do you ever just lay around all day? That’s all I pretty much do everyday. 

53. Are you a happy little frickin’ ray of sunshine? No. I’m a little black raincloud. 

54. Is there something that you would like to say to someone? “There are many things that I would like to say to you, but I don’t know howwww.” 

55. When’s the last time that you were so excited that you exclaimed (or at least thought) “yay!” ? I said that the other night when my brother said he was making his bomb spaghetti. haha.

56. Have you ever felt like you’ve lost your way? I’ve been feeling that way for the past few years.

57. Do you ever wish that people would just go away? lol I’ve felt that way in some situations.

58. Have you heard an animal bray before? What animal was it? Yeah, a donkey.

59. What’s the last thing that you made out of clay? Nothing.

60. Are you starting to go gray? I’ve found a few here and there. D: It was like the minute I turned 30 I found my first one, ha.

61. Are you feeling okay right now? No. I still feel how I felt earlier when you asked how it was goin’. :/

62. Do you pray? How often? Yes, but not nearly as much as I ought to. 

63. What’s the best play you’ve seen before? The Phantom of the Opera.

64. What did you like to play with when you were younger? I was obsessed Barbies, I could play for hours. I also liked playing house and school.

65. Do you know how to sashay? “Sashay away.”

66. Would you like to slay dragons? Nah. I wouldn’t want to mess with a dragon.

67. Have you gotten your pets spayed? All my dogs were fixed/spayed. My doggo was spayed before we could take her home from the adoption shelter.

68. Have you ever begged someone to stay with you? Not begged, but I didn’t want them to leave.

69. Has the room ever started to sway before? I hateeee that feeling. 

70. When’s the last time you ate a meal on a tray? Uhhh. I don’t recall.

71. Do you know how to do math arrays? You’re speaking math so no. 

72. Have you ever experienced a delay of any sort? Yeah.

73. Do you have any tooth decay? No.

74. When’s the last time you wrote an essay? What was it about? Back when I was still in school, so it’s been 5 years now since the last time. 

75. When’s the last time you competed in a relay race? I participated in a few wheelchair race events when I was a kid.

76. Have you ever wondered how you could ever repay someone? Yes. I wish I could spoil and take care of my mom one day for everything she has done and continues to do for me. She deserves so much.

77. What did you do today? So far just Tumblr, surveys, and listening to ASMR.

78. Would you ever take in a stray animal? We don’t really have room for another pet, but I’d want to help in some way. Once we had a stray dog wander in our backyard and we took care of him until we were able to find him a good home. We also once had a cat who often went into our backyard and she ended up having kittens, so we cared for them and found them all homes, including the mama.

79. What’s the last cleaning spray that you’ve used? Lysol disinfectant spray.

80. When’s the last time you splayed your fingers? I’ll do it right now. 

81. Has your airway ever been blocked before? Yes. Such a scary, traumatizing experience. It’s why I can’t take pills now at all unless I can crush them.

82. Has anyone ever led you astray? In some ways.

83. When it’s hot out, do you sleep with blankets anyways? Noooo. 

84. Have you ever felt betrayed? Yep. Not a nice feeling.

85. When’s the last time you listened to a DJ? My cousin’s quince a few years ago.

86. What’s the last unfortunate thing that happened, to your dismay? This pandemic.

87. When is payday? The 1st of the month (disability). 

88. Do good moments or bad moments replay through your mind more often? My mind likes to dwell on all the bad stuff instead. 

89. Do you prepay for anything? I typically like to pay all my bills at the same time each month instead of waiting until the day each of them are due.

90. Have you ever walked on a runway before? No.

91. Do you know a runaway? No.

92. Have you ever ridden the subway before? How about driven on the skyway? Nope.

93. Have you ever used an ashtray before? No.

94.How do you feel about public displays of affection? I don’t mind a little bit, like a quick kiss, hand holding, arms around each other, or a hug. 

95. Where would you like to go for a getaway? I wish I could rent a beach house and have my own private beach area.

96. Do you do any gateway drugs?  Some say weed is a gateway drug, but I personally never had any interest in try anything beyond that.

97. Have you ever felt like someone wasn’t meeting you halfway? Yes.

98. What were you doing at midday? I’ll be sleeping.

99. Have you ever stopped midway through a survey before?  Yeah, I did that with this one. I started it last night, but got too tired to finish it.

100. What’s your favorite holiday? Christmas.

101. Do you like to drive on the highway/thruway? I don’t drive, but yeah I prefer taking the highway over driving through town and hitting all the red lights.

102. Have you ever put something on layaway before? I haven’t, personally, but I’ve gone shopping with my mom and added stuff of my own along with her’s that she put on layaway.

103. Have you ever been cornered in an alleyway? No.

104. When is your birthday? July 28th. 

105. Do you know anyone who was a castaway? No.

106. How long is your workday? I don’t have a job.

107. What do you typically do on the weekdays? I do the same things everyday.

108. Is there a walkway or a pathway to your front door? Yeah.

109. What do you want to be someday? A functioning adult.

110. What is something that you do everyday? Drink coffee.

111. Do you park in your driveway? Do you even have a driveway? I don’t have a car, but yeah my house has a driveway that my parent’s use for their cars.

112. Have you ever won a giveaway? Yes.

113. How important is foreplay? I wouldn’t know.

114. Hooray! You’ve made it to the end! What are you going to do now? Eat my ramen. I was waiting for it to cool a bit.

[a-zebra-is-a-striped-horse]

[kaoarika]

Late night (early morning) vent-talk again~

It’s the... 4th month of the di*et (my next appointment is on the 16th). Miraculously, and because of my own strict behavior about it, I am around 70-ish kgs as we speak. Last month was hard, though...  as I found out the hard way that I cannot stand/process some food anymore :’D

I don’t know how to explain this? It’s probably me - I have a very high memory of flavors. Maybe that’s why I often crave certain food I haven’t tasted in a while (especially sweets), so... the medicine is definitely doing something to me, as it has also decreasing my appetite... and I’m constantly not wanting to eat much. 

So, the memory activates as I start eating... but I become nauseous. Also could be because routine and because i’m abhorrent to keep eating the same over and over... but even so, we did eat in a routine before all of this, but I never became so abhorrent of it or nauseous.

It all started with grinded meat. And because I am not able to eat other vegetables that are not green atm (so not grinded meat with potatoes and carrots), nor burgers (because buns and ketchup)... the taste becomes... awful in my mind. One day, I literally couldn’t anymore and... well, it went as well as you can imagine that.

My mom stopped buying grinded meat, btw, because I just couldn’t eat it anymore.

And then... pretty much recently...

Cabbage soup, some chicken in a certain way it’s prepared... and much more lately... I don’t feel hungry. Well... more like I don’t have that much appetite anymore. I’m probably eating not well, either... I just end up eating a hardboiled egg, or tuna, or strawberries/blueberries (and letting a low-carb cookie). I cannot feel “enjoyment” eating other veggies. Or ham or sausages (and my trick with the later is that I have to put it some mustard and ketchup to make it feel like I’m eating a hotdog).

Sure, this goes without saying - I have been cheating the diet too. I just simply cannot NOT eat carbs nor sugar - my system is pledging for that. AND YES, I’m conscious that once I receive the maintenance diet I will eat that again in a measured way. Last month I ate some tacos... tamales (and so I did last week); we ate pizza two weeks ago (and it was just two pieces of a “big” size) AND then there was the ice cream...

Like I have previously detailed, it’s not like we eat these frequently. Probably... it’s a 3-4 month thing with each. 

I still lost 3-4 kilos before last appointment, even if I was genuinely worried I wouldn’t do that. But the doctor wanted me to lost another 8 kgs. Even though I genuinely don’t want to go through this anymore. She genuinely asked me if I wanted to keep going... for another two months (let’s say my last appointment for this is on November) but couldn’t say no. Ugh, what the hell, me.

Ah, to think this diet was going to be 6 months long... suddenly cut to 3... and then extended to two months more.

I think the thing that is worrying me the most is the fact I’m not really eating the way I should do. It’s supposed to be healthy... yes... but I’m really not eating much. And I feel nauseous at times when I shouldn’t be doing that.

“It’s the medicine”, Okay, I accept that. “The medicine knows when you are eating carbs”. YES, I know... but I had a stomachache that would take time to pass. Not genuinely making me feel sick when I am ABOUT to eat. Or when I’m EATING something. And heck, I sometimes “sneak” a cookie because my body NEEDS some carbs, it shouldn’t be like THAT.

I mentioned this during the last appointment and it was brushed aside with no further solution or comment :’D

Fortunately, my blood analysis says that I’m all good. But my other studies say “okay, you still have this x amount of fat in your body... and, for some reason your muscle is a bit lower than you are supposed to have” And, okay, that’s understandable... “you should exercise more annd probably walk more... there’s this alternative you can buy to stretch your arms and the like”.

She also mentioned that since I’m still young, and I have been losing almost 30 kgs in four months, the skin I have left from my fat-self (I do still feel chubby... not saying that as a bad thing, however) can still be “pulled back” w/o surgery (it’s not much, tbh). I don’t know if she was... shaming me in a way? (would be? w/o bad intentions, probably?) Especially since it’s making me very selfconscious of stuff that I shouldn’t be so conscious around. UGH. Maybe it’s a thing of my arms... and my thighs mostly... so I will be using sashes soon or later.

(I like her “enthusiasm” of saying “these things are so cheap!” “500-ish pesos cheap” it’s 26 USD more or less... still not so cheap in my mind).

Other “minimal issues” I’m having, and excuse my sense of tmi. My period process apparently was never okay and I was never informed of that before (the more specific word I search is “taught of this before”. Since I have been “normalizing” my own hormones and the like... it’s like having my first period again of sorts *lays down*. Like... it was never a very regular thing, it could arrive early or late... and then all of sudden when I start becoming “okay”, I have some blood coming out a week or two before the period even starts. “IS this even okay? Is this what “ovulating” really means? Cleaning the tubes?” and it’s somehow embarrassing to confess. Summer was also like hell here.

In unrelated news, but offtopic, because this was a thing that crossed my mind recently-  I was kinda proud I was already reaching Suba’s “old” weight of 72 kgs... and then he confirmed on Friday he is 90 kgs and it looks he is still gradually figthing to return to that weight sooner or later? Or he looks somewhat fitter because he is doing smth else???, :’))) 

*Kao cries because she is kinda proud  of being at least something lighter than her bias now...*

*also, mindful reminder that I really don’t have any problem with how he looks right now... in fact, and ngl, he looks somewhat “fitter” than he did last year. I also like he looks squishy sometimes /)////(\ 

[opepin]

august: week one

july31: lol this morning. i woke up at like 7 am or something and kevin decided to wake up at 9 am or 10 am? i woke up, brushed, did whatever i could with my 2g data connection (btw, i couldn’t receive texts or anything but i got my data to work after changing the apn -- it was frustrating dealing with that the first day we got here), and i curled my hair for fun lol. then i watched ‘somm’ until kevin got up. i was hangry by then so he got ready and we went to the bakery again. we overshot how much we were going to eat. i also accidentally got a marzipan pastry...i hate marzipan... it looked like soft bread coated with cinnamon sugar D: we also got their infamous strawberry creme chocolate tart. it was good, but too much. kevin got a cinnamon strudel, a lemon tart, and a thai curry baguette because he was craving the baguettes since last night. :P we went back to the airbnb because i was starting to feel nauseous... we stayed there for like an hour so i could recover. i took tums and gasx and laid in bed massaging my stomach. i manned up and felt a bit better so we walked to glyptoteket, the fine arts museum, only to find out it was closed. T_T i planned it for yesterday so when we slept all day on the first day, our schedule got screwed up :( it also happened to pour on our way there -__-” right next to it was tivoli, the amusement park, but we decided not to go because of the rain and we just didn’t feel like it at this point. we decided to forge on and go to rosenborg castle to see the garden and/or go to the port for a boat ride.

i got upset at these turn of events and then some nasty old guys in a van kept looking at me like a piece of meat and kevin didn’t shield me or anything so i got frustrated at him. my legs were also SO SO SO itchy because my leggings were drying from the rain and it made my legs cold and my skin and body did not like it one bit. so we walked upset and in silence. we talked for a bit and then stopped. we decided to sit on the boat ride because of my legs and everything was fine after that. i bought kevin a hot dog and we got two bottles of water for $14...rip off LOL. the hot dogs here have a thicker casing but i think i like it. they also look hella phallic...which is weird haha. the sun came out again and it got real nice so the boat ride was a perfect choice. there was a lot of interesting architecture to see. kevin got hungry after so we walked over to the street food vendor area across the bridge. we got duck fat fries and the highlight of that was the creme fraiche dipping sauce. then we went inside to find the rest of the vendors. it was very much like what you would find in america (not so much like outside carts). oh, kevin also bought a smoothie from one of the outside carts and the guy just gave him one that was sitting there LOL. he was so put off by that. we also got a snow cone, which turned out to be a drink with a ton of ice in it LOLOLOL. kevin stopped picking what to eat after that.

we ended up getting a barbecue pulled pork burger with curly fries. mmm. kevin made a good point to say that if this was the best thing we ate here so far, then copenhagen isn’t a good place to get food because america does barbecue even better, which is pretty true of what we experienced. that burger was hella good. after that, kevin wanted to go back and rest so we walked back and did just that. i think i ended up falling asleep for 30 minutes to an hour again and then we headed out to the church right behind our airbnb with one of the best views of copenhagen. it didn’t strike me that we were going to be outside above the ground on a really steep staircase until we were actually doing it. kevin was nervous right when we got in line and i didn’t get it LOL. well, we walked up some wooden steps and then we reached the metal steps outside and kevin was freaking out on the inside. he had to let people go in front of us LOLOL. we made it to the top and i took pictures. i wasn’t as scared as kevin but the winds didn’t help either. so we took pictures quickly and took our time going down. it was a great experience together. <3 haha.

we walked to illum, a department store, to see if i could nab some danish fashion styles before leaving tomorrow. everything is so nice and minimalistic but sooooo expensive. i left without getting anything. we didn’t go to the rosenborg castle or the aquarium or the round tower again like we planned initially, but we didn’t mind. from shopping, we went straight to goomi and had rice for the first time in a few days. we’re rice addicts. i got three cup chicken and kevin got some pork dish. we both had two bowls of rice (they were super tiny bowls). we were really happy after that meal. we called it a day after and then went back to the airbnb, packed, and went to sleep sort of early. we had a somewhat early flight tomorrow. copenhagen was overall okay for us. we’re not in love with it. the colorful houses, the quaint aesthetic of the area, and the fact that it is pretty small made it a nice place to stay for 2-3 days. i think we hit most of the tourist spots and got to walk around most of copenhagen. we were ready to head to stockholm though.

01: we handled airport things way better this time. we decided not to go to the bakery for food and get food at the airport. there were a lot more people than i had anticipated but we got there pretty early. we checked in our bags, went through security, and then got a nice breakfast place that consisted of hashbrowns, scrambled eggs, and bacon. mmm. i got a green tea latte with soy milk because they did not have coconut milk at this starbucks. then we headed to our gate and abused the wifi LOL. i was so happy to have fast internet. i caught up on youtube videos and etc. so our flight kept getting delayed for some reason... but kevin and i were super chill and didn’t mind. i think we finally boarded at like 12 pm or something only to get moved out of the plane because there were technical errors. some people were really pissed because they were flying back home to the states. then some really nice guy told me that we will get compensated around 300 euros for the delay :O our flight got pushed from 10 am to 4 pm or something like that. so then kevin and i just squatted at the airport. we also got like $20 food vouchers and we found a yo sushi in the airport so we ate there! the fried rice at yo sushi is always bomb. we tried a mango crab roll that was delicious too. we got full pretty quickly.

it was nice being at the airport because they had a lot of shopping areas and i could keep on the search for some danish fashion items. so every now and then, kevin and i would walk to the stores and look. i ended up buying a cup of black tea while waiting and then i went back to get a tin of it. i looked at some clothes from noa noa, but was turned off by how many older women were looking at the sale rack with me T__T is my fashion that dated? LOL. we also surprisingly got chocolate-coated licorice because it was not bad??? haha. we now have a kind-of inside joke about this burberry coat we saw at illum. it looked so cool like an anime character would wear it with his dual swords and etc. it was a guy’s jacket so i showed kevin and he was really interested until we realized we were in burberry and he looked at the $1000 price tag. LULZ. we found a burberry here but the jacket was not there. :P

eventually, we boarded the flight with no problems and then i started watching the other ‘somm’ documentary i downloaded. i finished the first one, which was really interesting because it was about becoming a master sommelier and this one was the process of making wine. kevin ko’d on the flight. when we finally arrived in stockholm, we hit some snags in paying too much for an arlanda express ticket and finding the security box in central station containing our airbnb keys. we made it through and then walked 15 minutes to the apartment. this time, our airbnb was a private apartment and it had wifi. on the walk there, we noticed a lot of thai and japanese restaurants. the weather was beautiful -- unfortunate because we spent the entire day at the airport. the airbnb we stayed at is BEAUTIFUL. her apartment is decorated so nicely T__T the fridge blended in with the cabinets, she had a ton of candles, and the place was just nice and homey with a modern vibe. she also bought us milk, eggs, and bread and we could use her pantry and kitchen.

we unpacked and i let kevin pick a restaurant. he went on yelp and found this restaurant not too far of a walk called, ‘gro.’ so we walked there and noticed it was really tiny and we awkwardly stood by the door to see if we could get seated. we did eventually and then we looked at the menu and i found out that this place had two 4-course menus: one for meat eaters and one for vegetarians that cost $60 each... awks... i got mad at kevin for a bit for putting us in this situation but i calmed down and when he realized what i did, we figured it out. we ended up splitting the meat eater menu after asking and then declined wine. we both felt so ashamed and disrespectful. i looked up the yelp and kevin had only read one of them saying it was like $30-40 for a meal... lol that was a lie. i dug deeper and read that they handpick their wine so we ended up getting two glasses of wine. lol, we just felt so bad and out of place but we were trying to make the most of it. what’s even worse is that they gave us basically full sized portions of everything Dx we only shared one dish that was probably supposed to be smaller. ugh. they were being waay too nice to us and we felt even worse for that haha...

so, we had vegetable spaghetti (x2), cod stomach (x1), rooster (x1), rhubarb sorbet with licorice sprinkled on top (x2), and sorbet (x2). for the price of $60, that was way too much in our opinion because we were splitting it. the food was great but we weren’t looking for expensive food in the first place lol. oh, the real kicker is that the two chefs along with the server was giving us the food and explaining what it is. we were a few feet away from the kitchen and the chefs making the food to order x__x; one of them also mentioned that today was their first day of summer service so their english was a bit rusty. what. what did we get ourselves into LOL. we paid 75% of what two meals were supposed to be and then walked back to the airbnb. what a funny experience. kevin streamed the dota tournament for the rest of the night, showered with the super nice waterfall shower head, and then went to sleep at like 1 am?

02: we woke up and kevin made scrambled eggs with toast and butter for breakfast. the bread she got us toasted up so nicely. i love that bread. her toaster and tea kettle were so retro but did their jobs perfectly. i love that toaster. anyway, we ate and then walked over to stockholm’s city hall :) the moment we saw the skyline, we fell in love with stockholm. the weather was pretty nice too. stockholm is so beautiful with water, greenery, castles, and modern architecture everywhere. it’s perfect. walking past the arches of city hall to the lawn area took my breath away. it was gorgeous. we took lots of pictures and then kevin got a snow globe from the gift shop. i was feeling bleh because kevin is really bad at taking pictures so i never really ask because i have really high expectations for pictures of myself LOL. so he took pictures of me and i was disappointed about it, but also the fact that i don’t know how to pose for pictures anymore and i think i look pretty bad when i’m not the one taking the picture of myself / selfies. idk. sigh. i apologized to him and explained to him and he said he’ll try better and i said that i’ll try to be more understanding.

after city hall, we walked to the royal palace. as we were walking, we were trying to compare stockholm to a city in the states. i think we finally came to agreement that it’s a cleaner san francisco, which is probably why i love it so much. there are a bunch of inclines everywhere but the city is still larger than sf. there’s so much to see and so many directions to walk in ahha. well, we found out that there were 4 museums inside the palace itself and we started with the treasury and saw some real crowns, orbs, and scepters. i bought a small crown pin for my book bag. then we saw the royal apartments and stopped by the lunch plaza for a slice of lemon cheesecake and the most authentic freshly squeezed orange juice i’ve ever had in my life. then i walked around trying to find the bathroom and then kevin and i walked through the tre kronor museum (not that interesting -- history and architecture of the old building vs new) and also stopped by the antiquities section. after that, we looped back to the gift shop and spent a good amount of time there. i got some crown money clips as souvenirs and then we headed into old town!

there were so many cute small shops, artist galleries, and cafes. there were a lot of narrow cobblestoned walkways and colorful houses. i knew we made it to stortorget when we saw a man playing the piano beautifully and a ton of seats available to sit and listen to him. stortorget is the middle of old town where there is always something happening. :) we walked a bit more, took more pictures, and then kevin was getting hungry so we walked all the way to a restaurant called, ‘meatballs for the people.’ we got sat at the bar right away and then got some lingonberry juice and water. mmmm, the juice was so refreshing and delicious. it’s sweeter than cranberry juice but reminds me a lot of it. we both ordered deluxe swedish meatballs. i got pork and beef and kevin got deer meat. the deer meat had a lot of texture to it that i liked. this meal was flipping delicious. this was my favorite meal in stockholm. we got the buttery mashed potatoes and actual lingonberries. i was stuffed. kevin kept joking that we should eat there again for dinner...

we ended the day by going to monteliusvagen, the best place to get a view of the entire city. it was quite a walk but stockholm is beautiful so we didn’t mind at all. there was this one rain cloud that kept following us though? LOL it was really funny. we outran it at one point and it kept coming back to us... when it did, it just annoyingly drizzled instead of actually raining. xD we took some twists and turns and went up some hills but when we got there, it was totally worth it. we called it a day after because we wanted to go grocery shopping. we stopped at ‘cheesecake palace’ because kevin needed to use the bathroom. he got a slice of key lime cheesecake while i went and peed. i needed to pee first but kevin went ahead and went first so i was a bit upset at him x__x but we figured it out as we got to the bus stop. it started to rain...finally... and then we went into the grocery store, coop. we were confused because we only saw packaged goods like a walgreens... so we bought some toothpaste and i got disposable razors and walked back to the apartment. kevin was confused so he looked the store up on yelp and it was definitely a grocery store. so we rested for a bit and then went back and there was definitely a grocery store, except it was downstairs and all of the sale pots and plants blocked our view of the escalator... we bought some red and yellow peppers, potatoes (i kept saying tomatoes LOL), tomatoes, and once we decoded the labels, chicken thighs. i bought some strawberry cheesecake oreos, a marabou oreo chocolate bar, and some polly’s chocolate pieces. we also got sour cream and onion waffle chips.

the self-checkout system here is wonderful. you have a machine to weigh and label your produce. you just scan the stuff, and then you scan the receipt to exit if you used self-check out. it’s so high tech! anyway, i just started snacking like crazy when we got back. i felt bad but i was like meh at the same time. kevin watched some dota games, i was online watching videos, going on snapchat and instagram too. kevin decided to cook really late so we split one chicken thigh (they were tiny) and then went to sleep at like 1 or 2 am.

03: i think we left the house at 12 pm after eating tomatoes and eggs with toast and butter. i love this breakfast lol. we walked to the stockholm public library; the library was kind of underwhelmingly small, but it had the cool circular bookshelf alignment going on. then we walked over to the spelmuseum, the one museum here that i really wanted to go to! the spelmuseum is a gaming museum so i was so excited to bring kevin here. it’s small and tucked away, but when you enter, there is a projection on the wall of space invaders that you can play along with some images of the creators. they display all of the old gaming devices and had a few games to play. we played pacman, metal slug, the boxing game, street fighter, and this tennis game. lol i beat kevin in the tennis game so badly at first but then he beat me in the next one because i kept holding the left direction button for some reason ahahah. we tried playing breath of the wild but kept killing ourselves from falling and then we played this really fun two player game similar to metal slug, but i don’t remember what it was called... kevin played super mario 64 and they also had my warioware game to play and pokemon sun! we spent like 2-3 hours there ofc. kevin had a lot of fun. we do wish it was bigger though. kevin got a cute af yoshi mug there and we got a pixel art kit of snorlax too. jkdfnskd fave museum in stockholm. kevin went to use the washroom so i played a ton of space invaders while waiting. i was so close to beating the high score but i kept losing :( merp merp.

we walked to birger jarl’s passage, which was pretty close by. it was a pretty short passage lol but it was fancy af. it’s a passage that leads to all of the name brand stores like gucci, louis vuitton, etc. but the whole street is shopping central. we stopped by & other stories to see if they had the suede kitten heel pump ingrid recently showed on her youtube channel. kitten heels are definitely something i will wear from now on due to my feet. they didn’t have it but i shopped around and decided not to get anything because the whole tax refund process is too difficult and all the stuff was pretty expensive. plus, i could buy online and ship to the states. we stopped by a chain called, ‘joe and the juice’ to get a bite to eat. we’ve seen this chain all over copenhagen and stockholm and i regret that we didn’t find it sooner?! their juices are delicious and so are their sandwiches. we got the immunity and sex me up juice and two of the joe’s sandwiches. their sandwiches are on harder and thinner pieces of bread but it’s so good. i’m totally in love with this chain and there’s only one in new york in the states. lol. anyway, we walked over to the bus stop to get to skansen open air zoo~

it was a short and nice bus ride. we got there at around 4 pm so we were just in time to see a few of the old town houses. we saw a glassmaker, furniture maker, baker, and etc. it was just ok. maybe it’s livelier when it’s not closing time? after walking around the village (workers here show how swedish people lived 100 years ago so it’s like a small town environment), we went straight to the zoo. we saw elk, brown bears (!!!), reindeer, a really fat seal (LOL), wolves (!!!), and a wolverine (didn’t know these existed). we didn’t pay for the aquarium / amphibians so after that, we went to the amusement park area where there were 2 different drops and one seat twirler that moved up into the sky the highest (higher than the drop). kevin and i weren’t about it so we left through the turnstiles; this is where i got injured lol. it was a very wide turnstile so i thought kevin would wait for me to come in and then push, but i thought wrong and so my arm got squished and so did my boob. mmm, my arm is now bruised lol. kevin was really apologetic though x_x; we went into the museum shop and didn’t find anything so we took a couple buses to get back to the apartment. we would come back to see king’s garden and strandvagen later in the day.

we got back right in time for dinner. kevin reheated the chicken and made peppers with roasted potatoes. it was a delicious home-cooked meal :) i think we really needed a break from buying food. we ended up not going out. i wasn’t heart broken or anything though because we can always come back! also, the king’s garden is super large and just a meeting place / park and strandvagen is a street with a bunch of fancy houses overlooking the water. so, i didn’t mind. i think my stomach also got super bloated so staying in was the best option. i was full and happy and we had wifi. again, we went to sleep at like 1 or 2 am.

04: today was the final full day we had in stockholm and we took it super easy. lol i think we left the apartment at 1 pm or something to hop on the train to get to telefonplan. yes, that is an area in stockholm... we walked over to the climbing gym, klattercentret, that nluu told kevin about and went in. there was a nice small vegan cafe there and a ton of seating. i spent some time taking pictures of kevin and then i just chilled on my phone or kevin’s laptop. the gym area was filled with intimidating people so i just chilled out while kevin climbed. he said the closer you got to the rocks, the more it smelled like feet LOL. the air away from the rocks didn’t stink at all though. there were a ton of babies here tooo~ so cute. i got the cheapest tea here for 20 sek. kevin got the guys some souvenirs from here after climbing. then we took the train home. we could have gone to skyview, but after reading more reviews and stuff, it didn’t seem worth it. people said the view from the place we went on the first day had a better view. it is the world’s largest spherical place though... so maybe we’ll see it when we come back (: haha.

this is the part when kevin and i both doze off on the bus and we miss our stop so we have to take a bus back lol. the signage to transfer buses is not very clear here... we had to look for a connecting bus and only found it when we saw the bus stop at the location so we missed the first one. oh wells. haha. it’s a good thing the buses are always on time here and the wait for them is never long. kevin showered and i called (i did pay 20 cents for 1 minute) to make sure this thai massage place had openings today. we walked on over to ‘samruai thai massage’ (it was super close by) and got a massage right away. lol these ladies saw my boobs and massaged super closely to my vagina, but they were nice and didn’t make me feel uncomfortable. this massage overall was bomb. she massaged my arms like they have never been massaged before. i didn’t even know i had tiny tiny muscles like that all over my body. my neck has been really tight this whole trip so sometimes i would get headaches from looking at my phone or ipad so this helped a lot. we left very refreshed, relaxed, and hungry.

i found a nearby japanese place called, ‘matsu’ and their prices were cheaper than most restaurants here. kevin and i thought we were gonna get small af portions so we ordered a dragon roll, gyoza, yakiniku, and yakisoba. lol, when our yakiniku and yakisoba came out, we knew we over-ordered. LOL. it was so delicious though. we just sucked up all the delicious rice / noodles and beef. then our dragon roll came, and these were the biggest rolls i have ever seen in my life. we devoured all of that first and then came the gyoza -- there were 10 of them. they must have thought we were fat asses. we managed to finish the gyoza, roll, and more than half of each entree. then we took it home and kevin finished his yakisoba. i tried finishing my yakiniku but ended up throwing it away in the morning. our stomaches were not happy after stuffing ourselves too much. i spent the rest of the night gassy, bloated, and a bit nauseous tbh. i ate waaay too much. we also slept at like 1 am, which was waaay too late for our flight tomorrow morning at 8 am.

05: needless to say, we were dead in the morning. we packed everything up last night and made sure we didn’t leave anything in the morning. we woke up at 5:30 am... kevin called an uber because the bus would have taken another 10 minutes to come, and when the guy dropped us off, he laughed at kevin for closing the door in my face LOL. he joked that kevin wasn’t awake yet in swedish / poor english. :P we hopped onto the arlanda express only to sit with talkative af people -__-” we were tired and not having it. we were thankful when we got to the airport stop. there was a bit of a wait to check in and everything but we made it and stopped by ‘joe & the juice’ right away. kevin got immunity and we both got sandwiches. i wanted their granola / acai bowl but they were out. :( after eating, we used the bathroom and then boarded right away. i freaked out a bit because we were supposed to start boarding at 7:30 am but kevin was still in the bathroom, i think. he apparently had no wifi in the bathroom so i didn’t know where he was. luckily, he got out right after and boarding didn’t start yet. 

we got on the flight and we just tried sleeping the entire 3-hour flight. i think we managed to get in a good 2 hours at least. we got to iceland and then really needed to pee. kevin got pulled into a random security check LOL so i waited at first and then i had to go so i went downstairs to use the bathroom and met him near the gate. kevin has taken a liking to hot dogs so he got one for second breakfast, i got an english breakfast bowl from ‘mathus’, and we got a chicken baguette for the flight. again, the lines were crazy and we had to board via the tarmac so the process was a bit slow. kevin ate his hot dog in line and we finished the english breakfast bowl together. i really like the beans! there were also sausages, an egg, and bacon in there too. mmm, it was very filling. we both ko’d at the beginning of the flight for like 30 minutes and then kevin started watching ‘skyfall 007′ and i found a romantic movie called, ‘flipped.’ i’m glad i watched it because it was a pretty great movie. i really enjoyed it. it’s about a girl who falls in love with a kid who moved into her neighborhood in 2nd grade and what happens when she ‘flips’ and doesn’t like him anymore. it was a really cute and heartfelt movie. there’s a lot more than cliche love to this movie.

kevin basically watched his movie the entirety of the flight and said it wasn’t worth it LOL. he started playing pokemon while watching too. i watched ‘slumdog millionaire’ next. i actually have not seen the movie until now. i think it was pretty intense and great but the ending kind of cheapened the story. it didn’t really build up to anything. by that time, we had 20 minutes to land. my stomach wasn’t feeling so great after such a long flight and beans, but we made it. it was my first time going through customs and filling out the form before landing too. it was an easy process to go through because we didn’t bring in any fresh produce and stuff. we finally got our luggage and waited for the silver line~ the t took forever but we finally got home at like 2:30 pm, ordered burgers from kkatie’s burgers, showered, and picked up our food. it was pretty humid in boston and a bit rainy. i guess we bring the rain everywhere we go ;( after stuffing ourselves with fries and burgers, kevin drove us to spectacles where i got to pick up my glasses. it was really busy today so paul just adjusted my glasses for me and then sent me off.

we stoppped by roche bros to get fruit and then went back home to rest and unpack. i had to do some cleaning because my tea tree oil bursted in my bag :( but other than that, i just put everything in the laundry and put away our food stuff and souvenirs. i spent the rest of the evening digesting the food and looking into & other stories, uniqlo, and thredup. after seeing how everyone dressed in copenhagen and stockholm, i want to revamp my wardrobe. i also love my new glasses and how they look on me. there is no chromatic abberation and i see perfectly through them. so i have an updated accessory that fits my face and i love to wear. anyway, i purchased two pairs of wide ankle pants from uniqlo and started filling up my thredup basket. i’m not sure if i should go ahead and buy more clothes or just try to work with what i have right now. :/ hmmm. i talked with daniel for a bit and then worked on paying back kevin for travel stuff and paying students loans and documenting that in my spreadsheet. kevin and i both ko’d at around 11:30 pm because we were tired af. i can’t believe we stayed up that long tbh. i only got like 5 hours of sleep or so. my stomach wasn’t feeling so great either so i took meds and then went to sleep.

[END COPENHAGEN / STOCKHOLM VACATION ]

06: we woke up at 8 am and stayed in bed until 9 am. then we had breakfast and i started updating my tumblr. not sure if i should buy from thredup yet, but i’m still thinking about it. kevin gamed a bit after breakfast and then we meal planned around noon. it’s weird being back home to the normal routine. my stomach is feeling better but not 100% healed. we went grocery shopping and then cleaned the fridge, put away the luggage, did laundry, and i kept thinking about thredup lol. i managed to figure out with the help of friends and kevin, what to buy. i finally bought my first thredup box :) then i did some more internet errands and packed for tomorrow. kevin went to cook and i folded the clothes and then i did a 15 minute low-impact workout before eating. after digesting for a bit, i did a 20 minute low-impact workout and then went to shower. i was really tired... i was falling asleep during my workout even though it was only 10 pm. i watched some youtube videos before going to sleep at like 11:30 pm. zzzz. it was a very uneventful but well-needed rest day.

[justjoeyyy-blog-blog]

Day 19-22

6-2-17 Day 19: I was able to get off the ship today in ensenada. We went to the "resort" that we went to last time. This time I got burnt. Only one person said something though compared to when I was burnt on my cruise in march and no one would leave me alone. The lady goes "are you okay?" And I was so confused until she touched her face lol. I got a strawberry daiquiri while I was at the resort and when it got to me there was salt on the rim...I thought it was sugar so I took a huge lick of it. Why the hell would you put salt with a strawberry daiquiri?? Then I sipped it and there was salt in the drink! I was so confused. Maybe it's Mexico thing? So I told the guy at the bar who doesn't speak and English that it was disgusting and salt doesn't go with a strawberry daiquiri and they said I didn't have to pay for it. I can seriously still taste it. After that I did the build a bear workshop. They had me stitching the bears which I had no idea how to do. I finally got the hang of it and at the end I was told I was tying them all wrong haha. I was with the 9-11 year olds again. And again we had people come in and say "this is it?! What is this?!" In which I have to explain that we do games that don't require much. Like one game we do where everyone ties a balloon to their ankle and you have to try and pop the other people's balloon. Whoever is last wins. The kids absolutely LOVE the games we do but it's hard to see when you walk in and see a conference room with a few games and a lot of space. One boy so rudely in front of his mom talked back to me about it, and by the end of the night he was the happiest kid in the world. The parents also get mad at me when I say we can't move their children into different age groups to be with their siblings. Like bitch I don't make up the rules why am I getting yelled at for this crap. One of the kids was 8 and wanted to be moved up. He walked in sucking his thumb...like wtf no turn away. For night owls tonight (10pm-1am) they were having a "party" for the older kids. The amount of kids in that tiny room was insane and probably proceeded the amount of people you can have in that room. Then on the other side we had 2 babies under the age of 2 as well as other young children with only 2 staff on each side. It is very important to always have someone at the door which means there's really only 1 person with the kids it's insane. There's a lot of things that could be changed to make work A LOT easier. I always think of undercover boss how they go in disguise to work at their own company's and they see all these terrible things that need to be changed. One huge example I have is when we do build a bear. There are 2 huge carts that we literally have to push from one end of the ship to the other. You have to have 2 people on each cart and they weigh easily 200+ pounds. The wheels on the bottom are old and barely work and we can't get the carts over the door frames on the way to our destination. They also barely fit through the doors so if you're not careful you'll literally squish your finger very badly. We also carry another huge cart that doesn't have any sides so we have to put tape all around it. Then when we're done we have to bring it back to camp and shove it into a tiny closet that of course is located right in the walk way that's about the size of a small dressing room. Carnival's first priority in their company is safety yet they have us doing this. It wouldn't be so bad if we had the things stored where we had the actual workshop. It's seriously ridiculous and it infuriates me that no one has said anything to the office about it. It's 12:11 right now. I need to go to bed. Tomorrow is day at sea which means working all freaking day. And then the next day my aunt and uncle are picking me up in Long Beach! So excited :) I haven't seen my aunt in about a year and I haven't seen my uncle since I was a freshman in college so it's been a while. Getting off the boat in general is always great. I'm also super happy because they fixed the light in my bunk and our desk. It usually takes them awhile but they got it done within a day. Today my roommate told me that she doesn't get pimples anywhere besides her butt. Like how do you respond to that? She's super sweet and very funny. Also very outgoing. She looks like a 10 year old. She is so tiny it's crazy. Much better than the last roommate that's for sure. 6-3-17 Day 20: got woken up this morning at 730 to the light being turned on. Then my roommate left for work and kept it on...I'm pretty sure I'm gonna move into rains room. I really like my new roommate but I need sleep 😳 it's not possible to do this job without sleep. Especially on a sea day like today where we work 10-12 hours. The boat is also really rocky today. I'm so nauseous. And it doesn't help that I keep having hot flashes. Like literally dripping sweat. I don't get it. It also doesn't help that we have to wear these stupid pants and ugly ass polo. My room legit smells like feet. 6-4-17 Day 21: I'm getting off the boat in 2 hours :) my aunt and uncle are picking me up. Yesterday was a long ass day. I finally started feeling better after I ate dinner yesterday. But now I'm feeling icky again. It feels like we're still moving but we're docked. I'm also low on sleep because my dumbass decided to go out last night instead of going to bed early. It was really fun though and I met a lot more people. It's pretty nice to be at a bar and then just walk down to your room within a minute. Before I went out me Rain Elle and britny went and saw the epic rock show. I've seriously never seen something so amazing. Our boat is known for having the best performers and performances. The vocals on these people are insane. I couldn't keep still in my seat. I got a little too into it. I'm really sad though because that cast is leaving in 2 weeks and a new cast is coming on board. On the bright side I'll be able to meet new people! Usually the guys are gay so no bf for me. But still more friends and maybe even another American :p I just realized that last night when I got back from the bar I took my pills that I'm supposed to take in the morning...I've never done that before. Speaking of medicine, I found out one of my friends from college passed away. I met him on the first night freshman year and he practically lived in our building. He was such a fun guy. I was told that they think he purposely overdosed. He just graduated in may and move to a new state just 2 weeks ago. Another friend gone by suicide. I so badly wish that we could do more for these people that need help. I also recently heard that someone I knows family member took his life just last week. I was reading one of my magazines the other day and there was a whole article on 13 reasons why. When I got on the boat no one really knew what I was talking about because they've been on here without access to internet (or at least internet that works well enough to watch shows). It's kinda cool how you escape from the outside world when you're on the boat. On a different note I think I'm going parasailing tomorrow in Catalina! I haven't been off at that port yet so I'm super excited. One of the guys I met who was in the fun squad had to leave the boat the other day because he lost his passport 😳 I literally thought this guy was in his 20s and he's 41.......my mind was blown. I thought he was messing with me. A lot of people on here look really young for their age. Getting off the boat today was great. My aunt and uncle picked me up. We ate outside and talked for hours and I got my nails done. Still need to get my haircut majorly. An hour ago I went to close the club (it's open for embarkation for like an open house) and it was fucking trashed again. Poker chips all over the place. Jenga pieces cover the floor. Uno and playing cards all mixed together. I just want to know wtf is going through these people's heads. And where are their parents? I don't think I'm going parasailing tomorrow either :/ I was gonna go with britny and now she has a training. I might go by myself though and lay out on the beach :) I open the club in an hour. I really shouldn't take a nap because it's just gonna make me more tired but I have an hour so I'm gonna. I got to meet the kids today. They're actually really awesome. One of the girls told me I'm the chilliest person ever lol. On captains dinner nights we have imaginary Prom. Tonight the kids got really into it and one of the boys made up a whole promposal for one of the girls it was hilarious. He made me play romantic music and he got down on one knee and asked her. And then they slow danced. It was so cute. I have a shit ton of kids. My club is way too small for the amount I have this cruise and really for any cruise. I don't have work tomorrow until 4 😍 I might get off in Catalina and go lay out at the beach alone or I might just lay out on the ship. We have to take tender boats to the port and it can get super chaotic. I'll get off another time when I have a friend to go with me. 6-5-17 Day 22: it's almost 1 and I'm still in bed. I had my alarm set for 1030 but that didn't happen obviously. I was having a really weird dream that I couldn't wake up from. I've had the weirdest dreams since I've been here it's freaky. I start at 3 today. Thought I started at 4 :/ I've already wasted my day away so I'll probably just sleep some more. I need it big time. I seriously love my kids. Besides the fact that they don't clean up after themselves. They loved the whole imaginary Prom idea. We had a prom king and queen it was great. Nominations and then voting. I wanted to rig the votes so the couple I like could win but some of the girls asked if they could help tally up the votes so it didn't work. I met someone moving to stl for a mission trip. He'll be living there for 2 years. Kinda interesting! He's Mormon. After work we had a party in the crew bar lounge. It was a lot of fun and I got to talk to a lot of people, especially one of the guys that's actually a potential option but he was wasted out the ass and definitely won't even remember talking tomorrow. I have training in 5.5 hours. It's 308am. But I had fun tonight so whatever.