#and then i just left the dance room without telling anyone and my mom was already parked in the parking lot to pick me up

[richardgrimes]

the fact that i threw up after i left junior prom not because of typical prom tomfoolery but because i had what i found out was strep throat

[losfacedevil]

Champagne, Caviar, Anyone? // SFK

a/n~ Hey guys! Welcome to the first in a series of Valentines Day themed requests turned series! I hope you all enjoy these as much as I’ve enjoyed creating them! WC:3.9k

WARNINGS: 18+ MINORS DNI ~ Smut, heavy petting-ish, fingering (F!receiving)

Valentine’s Day was not your favorite holiday.

Many past relationships left you disappointed, the holiday breezing past without so much as a card or the utterance of a ‘Happy Valentine’s Day.’ But this year you knew something was different. There was a lightness in the air, and a pep in Sam’s step that wasn’t usually there. He wasted no time in wrapping you up in his arms, pulling your back flush against his chest and buried his face in your hair. He swayed your bodies together, humming a tune under his breath and placed soft kisses all over your cheek.

“What do you think you’re doing?” You mumbled, your guard fully up as he pressed his body against yours and pulled you away from the counter. A soft chuckle emanated from his chest and he turned on his heel, pulling you along with him.

“Well I was thinking we could go out to dinner but mom brought over her famous lasagna earlier so I popped it in the oven while you were on your way home, it’ll be done in the next few minutes.” He mumbled, slowly walking you towards the living room. A soft smile spread across your face as your eyes landed on the coffee table. Tall tapered candles were lit on either side of the table, illuminating the vase of roses and box of chocolates complete with a cheesy card in a soft flickering glow.

“So I get my favorite lasagna and a candle lit dinner with the silly little valentines chocolates for dessert?” You mumbled, laying your head back against his shoulder. The rumble of the chuckle that danced up his throat sent a shiver down your spine and you turned in his grasp, reaching up to wrap your arms around his neck.

“And why pray tell, have we gone all out?” You mumbled, leaning up to press a soft kiss to the tip of his nose. Sam furrowed his brows and cocked his head to the side.

“The candy and card isn’t enough of a reminder? It’s Valentine’s Day, I had to make it special for my girl.” He wrapped his arms tightly around your mid section, pulling you as close to him as he could and leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. The urge to roll your eyes was strong, Valentine’s Day, the holiday always left a sour taste in your month.

“Ah yes, the one day a year guys either completely disregard or end up over compensating for because they’ve done nothing for their girlfriends all year. How could I forget such a big Hallmark holiday.” You knew your tone sounded sarcastic and we’re hoping he would just laugh it off, but Sam shook his head and leaned forward to press a soft kiss to your forehead.

“Don’t sound so thrilled for the Princess treatment.” He chuckled, turning his head towards the kitchen as the timer on the oven began to sound. He nodded in the direction of the kitchen and unraveled himself from you, slowly heading towards the oven.

"If you'd ask me, every day could be Valentine's Day." He joked, slipping his hands into two mismatched oven mitts and pulled the oven door open, bending at the waist and slowly removed the cookie sheet housing the aluminum pan with your dinner.

“Valentine’s Day is a joke anyway, it’s just some man made Hallmark holiday to get people to spend money.” You mumbled, puttering around the kitchen as he slowly peeled the aluminum foil off of the lasagna pan. Sam rolled his eyes, your rock hard exterior only egging him on to crack your shell and get to your soft center.

“I’m trying to be cute and shit and you’re over here raining on my parade.” He chuckled, turning his attention to you. He couldn’t help but watch as you stretched up to reach the plates on the top shelf of the cupboard, your shirt riding up and exposing the smallest sliver of skin. A soft sigh escaped you as the plate slipped out of your grasp towards the back of the cupboard.

“Can you help me, please? Instead of ogling me.” You giggled softly, watching as Sam’s jaw dropped and he sauntered slowly over to where you stood. He rested his hand on the counter next to you and pressed his body flush against yours, reaching up and pulling the plate from the cupboard effortlessly.

“Ogling you my ass.” He mumbled, wrapping his arms securely around your middle and buried his face in the crook of your neck, placing soft, territorial kisses to your skin. You pulled a deep breath in through your nose and let your head fall to the side, allowing him easier access to your neck.

“I warm up the dinner my mother so lovingly made, got you all the cheesy gifts even though I knew you don’t care for the holiday and this is how you act, hmm? Just wait til you see what’s in store for the rest of the night and we’ll see if the attitude stays.” His voice was low, a sultry tone dripping from his words. A nervous giggle slipped past your lips and you pushed your hips back, pressing your ass firmly against his groin.

“That’s right, dinner. I think you should be the one plating it - seeing as it’s Valentine’s Day and all.” You giggled tilting your head to rest back against his shoulder and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek.

“You’re pushing it, little one.” Sam chucked, unraveling himself from you and slid the plates off of the counter top as he slowly made his way back to the stove. Your eyes danced slowly up the length of his figure, watching the way his hips swayed, and, knowing he was exaggerating it, pulled a deep breath in through your nose and blew a wolf whistle in his direction.

“Little one.” He warned, shooting a glance over his shoulder as he selected the metal spatula out of the holder and began to cut and plate the steaming lasagna.

There was something about the tone in which he spoke, the things his said and how he moved about around you that had you swooning. There was no questioning how he felt, and the love that he held for you - even when you pushed his buttons. His eyes found yours as he scooped both plates into his hands and turned on a heel. He held them out for you to take and nodded towards the living room.

“Go get comfy, I’ll be right there.” He mumbled, slipping the plates into your hands and delivered a soft tap to your ass as you walked by. You couldn’t help the way you let your eyes roll as you slowly made your way into the living room and sank down onto the couch, placing the plates down gently on the table in front of you.

“I heard a little rosé pairs well with lasagna but, I guess we’ll be the judges of that.” Sam chuckled, making his way around the couch and bent at the waist, placing two flutes of champagne on the coffee table before plopping down onto the couch. You couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face as you watched Sam settle against the back of the couch and scoop up his plate in his hand.

“Champagne, caviar, anyone?” You quoted Josh, giggling at the way Sam scrunched up his nose.

“Don’t quote my brother when we’re on a date.” He chuckled, cutting a bite sized piece of pasta and stabbed it with the fork, blowing on it to cool the molten sauce and cheese before leaning forward and held it out in your direction.

“Open.” He chuckled as you wiggled your eyebrows at him and did as you were told. His eyes lit up as yours fluttered shut and you savored the flavor of the lasagna, playing it up because you knew he was watching you intently. It was the caress of his hand against your cheek that had your eyes springing open, and he swiped his thumb carefully across your bottom lip before pushing the digit through your partially parted lips.

“That’s my girl.” Your eyes grew wide and you shifted in your seat, swatting away the hand that fed you and leaned forward to pick up your own plate before settling back against the couch and savoring the meal.

~*~*~

It wasn’t long before the warmth caused by the champagne was coursing through your veins, causing your giggles to be higher pitched and his eyes to be screwed shut at boisterous belly laughs escaped him. Sam had his arm wrapped tightly around your shoulders, cradling your body against his and buried his face in the crook of your neck.

“Oh, so a little food and champagne melts the attitude right out of you, does it?” His tone was taunting, trying to get a rise out of you. A soft giggle escaped your chest as you reached over and gripped his thigh, letting your hand slide down into the crevice where his leg meets his hip.

“What attitude? I have no idea what you’re talking about. But what I do hear is the dishes calling your name. Maybe you should be doing them instead of playing with me.” You knew you’d get a rise out of him quicker than he would get a rise out of you. The arm he had wrapped around your shoulder tensed, pulling your body closer to his and grazed his teeth against your neck, sending a shiver down your spine.

“There it is.” He mumbled. Reaching up he wrapped his hand around your throat gently, squeezing the sides just enough for your breath to hitch. A giggle escaped you as you settled your hand over his lap, feeling exactly what you were doing to him. You pulled a deep breath in through your nose and calmed the fire in your gut, turning your head to place a soft kiss to his forehead.

“You put the food away, I’ll take care of the dishes and then… well we’ll see where the night takes us.” You cooed, waiting patiently as he unraveled himself from you and pushed to stand, holding out his hand to pull you up from the couch.

“Is that so? You’re calling the shots now?” He chuckled, wrapping his arms gently around your waist and pulled you firmly against him. You nodded lightly, pressing up onto your toes to steal a kiss from his permanently pouted lips. Sam scrunched up his nose and furrowed his brows, pulling back slightly to look down at you.

“Chores now and we won’t have to worry about them later.” You shrugged, wiggling away from him and walked off towards the kitchen. Sam watched your hips sway as you slowly made your way over to the sink and turned on the faucet.

He made quick work of replacing the aluminum foil over the pan of lasagna and popped the pan into the fridge. Shutting the door gently he used to handle to steady himself as he reached up above his head and stretched out his stiff spine. You threw a look over your shoulder, smiling at the way he groaned and scrunched up his face before righting himself and turned to face you.

“Can you maybe get those dishes done, please? Instead of ogling me.” He quipped, unable to hide the laughter in his voice as he sauntered over to you and wrapped himself around you, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. Placing your hands on the counter you pushed back, slowly grinding your ass against him.

“I’m sorry, I can’t help but ogle you when you look so sweet. Maybe I want a taste.” His arms stiffened slightly around you waist, holding you in place and he grazed his teeth softly against your neck in a warning of sorts. He ran his nose along the shell of your ear, blowing a cool steam of air against the back of your earlobe.

“I can promise you a taste before the nights over.” He mumbled, letting his hand slip dangerously low against the waistband of your sweats and you pushed back more, trying to encourage his hand lower. A sinful chuckle sounded from his chest and he placed soft, open mouthed kissed to your neck before slowly unraveling himself from you. The soft whine that escaped you at the loss of contract pulled another sinister chuckle from his chest and he spun on his hell, slowly sauntering away from you.

The feeling in your chest was unmistakable. He made your heart soar, and butterflies that you thought long since dead spring to life in your stomach. Though his gestures were simple they meant everything to you, having almost never been thought of on Valentines Day years prior. You slowly finished washing the dishes, being extra careful with the thin glass champagne flutes and placed them upside down on a hand towel to dry.

Turning off the faucet, you breathed a sigh of relief and slowly made your way down the hall to your bedroom, expecting to find Sam curled up in his favorite pair of sweats. A pout tugged at the corners of your lips as you rounded the corner and found the bed empty and Sam nowhere in sight. It was then that you heard the bathtub faucet spring to life, the water cascading down into the jacuzzi tub sounding like a damn had broken.

You made your way slowly down the hall to the bathroom, one your dad and pop had designed especially for the little fish of a girl who lived in the tub. Sam was kneeling down next to the tub and bent over the side gently, pouring just enough bubble bath solution into the steady stream of water. A soft smile spread across your face as you watch him dip his fingers into the stream, washing away any solution that may have splashed onto his digits. He winced slightly, signaling to you that the water was scalding and he had plans to soak for a while.

“A bubble bath all for me?” You said, raising your voice so you could be heard over the running water. Sam whipped his head around and a sheepish smile spread across his face as he pushed himself to stand and took the three steps towards you. He reached out and placed his hands on your hips, pulling you flush against his body and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead.

“I was thinking, the perfect way to end the day would be to soak it all in with you, unless… Princess doesn’t wanna come out to play.” He chuckled, knowing you had been riled up all evening. A cheeky smile spread across your face as you pushed up onto your toes and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling his face down to yours.

“Maybe Princess just wants to be pampered today, hmm? And then maybe you’ll get a reward.” You giggled, knowing that you calling the shots would pull the side you craved to see out of him. A snicker emanated from his chest as his hands danced up your sides and he cupped your cheeks in his hands, wrapping his pinky and ring fingers gently around the sides of your neck.

“Oh is that so? Princess wants to be taken care of hmmm?” Sam chuckled, peppering kisses all over your cheeks.

Turning his head to the right he spotted your hair brush and scooped it up off of the counter, slowly beginning to pull the bristles through your hair. A shiver ran down your spine every time the bristles ran over your scalp and you let your eyes flutter shut as he turned you in his grasp. He detangled your hair quickly, stopping only to shut off the tap and let the bath water settle. Slowly he brushed all of your hair into his open palm, collecting even the fly away strands and secured it all into a scrunchie at the back of your head. Leaning down he pressed soft kisses to the back of your neck and raised goosebumps along your skin.

He helped you pull your shirt off up over your head, his eyes never leaving yours as you reached around behind you and unclasped your brain with one hand. He chuckled as he quickly stripped himself of his clothes and stepped back, slowly climbing into the deep tub. He held his hands out to you, waiting for you to place you palms against his and wrapped his large hands around yours. He guided you into the tub, making sure you didn’t slip before placing his hands on your hips and helped you sink down into the hot water with him.

A soft groan escaped him as the hot water enveloped his cool skin and he let you situate yourself between his legs before reaching and out pulling you to lay back against his chest. He traced soft, soothing circles into the skin of your thigh and you pulled a deep breath in through your nose, letting your head fall back against his shoulder. You reveled in the comfortable silence that fell over you, his hands dancing slowly over the length of your thighs.

“Thank you for tonight.” You mumbled, letting your eyes slip shut as you breathed in the mingling scents of the bubble bath and a musk that was unmistakably Sam. He nodded his head and hummed softly, an almost sleepy sound slipping though his nose as his hand slowly crept closer to your core.

“It was the least I could do. You take care of me constantly. I wanted to take care of you.” His voice was whisper soft, raising goosebumps on your skin as he spoke directly into your ear. Sam cupped his hand around your core and slowly applied pressure to your clit with the heel of his palm. Gone was the man who wanted full control, that pushed boundaries and used safe words. In his place sat a softer version of the man you had fallen in love with. Your mind drew to the way his fingers slowly, and lazily stroked your clit - no intentions in his mind other than you make you feel good.

You swallowed hard, shifting the way you were sitting so his lazy fingers were dancing closer to the spot he knew would send you over the edge. A soft chuckle escaped him and he reached up, capturing your chin in between his thumb and index finger.

“Is this okay?” He muttered, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to your lips. You nodded into the kiss, allowing him to continue his lazy dance against your core. You couldn’t help the soft giggles that slipped past your lips and you leaned back, breaking the kiss.

“So how was work?” Sam chuckled and turned his head to press soft kisses to your cheek. You shook your head gently, knowing his tricks all too well.

“It was… work. Customers suck, and my… coworkers need a uh… reality check.” You pulled the words from the recesses of your mind as you tried to focus on both his question and the feel of his fingers lazily dragging over your core.

“Your coworkers, huh? What did they do?” A sigh slipped past your lips and your eyes fluttered shut, getting lost in the sensations coursing through your body.

“They’re just… assholes.”

There was something in the soft movements of his hand that was driving you quickly towards the edge, something in the way he so lazily stroked against your core. Your breathing quickened slightly and he leaned his head down, wrapping his lips around your shoulder and began to suck on your skin. Your back arched of its own accord, pulling a deep breath in through your nose and cleared your throat softly.

“Sammy, please.” Your voice held a tone of desire he loved and he couldn’t help but chuckle against your skin as he sped up the movements of his fingers just slightly. A sinful chuckle escaped his lips as he felt your body tense, and he slid his fingers down to tease your entrance, sliding two fingers effortlessly inside of you.

“What is it, Princess?” He cooed, chuckling again as you pressed your head harder back against his shoulder. He curled his fingers, a gentle ‘come hither’ motion pressing the tips of his fingers against where you needed his the most. A sad giggle mixed with a soft moan escaped you as you dug your fingers into the muscle of his thigh. Sam nodded his head and pressed the heel of his hand against your clit, applying just enough pressure to send you over the edge. A gasp escaped you and you tucked your bottom lip tightly between your teeth, stifling the louder sounds that threatened to escape you.

“Atta girl, so good giving it to me.” He mumbled, the quick slip from soft Sam into his more attention seeking side almost fully unseen. He reached down and placed his hand over yours, gently prying your fingers off of his thigh. A tired giggle slipped past your lips as you rubbed soothing circles against his skin, knowing you had probably left fingerprint shaped bruises in your wake.

“Sammy.” Your voice sounded dreamy and you let your head roll to the side, pressing lazy kisses against his neck. Sam let his eyes flutter shut, reveling in the feeling of your weight pressed against his chest. He resumed the slow dance of his fingers across your stomach, sending shivers throughout your body.

“Do you wanna get out and get comfy?” His voice was low and dreamy, laced with a bliss he wasn’t sure the source of. You nodded slightly and pushed yourself up off of his chest, slowly rising to stand and stepped out of the tub. You wrapped yourself in one of the fuzzy towel that lay folded on the toilet seat and watched as Sam opened the drain and rose to his feet, stepping out of the tub and made his way over to you.

“Hi.” He chuckled, leaning down to pluck a towel off of the toilet lid and wrapped himself up in it. Leaning up on your toes you pressed a soft kiss to his lips and pushed past him sauntering into the bedroom.

“Hey!” He chuckled, taking off after you. You laid across the bed, wrapped up in your fluffy towel and let your eyes flutter shut, the realm of sleep threatening to overtake you. Sam dried off quickly and plucked two clean pairs of boxers out of the clean laundry basket that sat waiting to be folded and quickly slipped them on.

“C‘mon, dry off.” He cooed, standing in front of you with his hands held out in your direction. You pried your eyes open and pushed yourself into a seated position, slowly rising to your feet. Reaching out he rubbed his hands over your arms, creating warmth with the friction. You dried yourself off slowly and tossed the towel into the dirty laundry basket before collapsing back down onto the bed.

Sam chuckled lightly and kneeled down in front of you, slowly slipping your feet into the legs on the boxers and slid them up the length of your legs. He climbed up the length of the bed and got comfy, patting the bed with his hand to get your attention.

“Up here, love. Come lay with me.” A soft smile caressed his face as you slowly crawled up the length of the bed and curled up against his side. He let his fingers dance over your bare back, tickling and raising goosebumps on your skin as he lulled you to sleep.

TAGLIST: : @vanfleeter @silks-up-my-sleeve @readyforthegarden @ascendingtostardust @sammykiszkamyass @belovedsamuel @writingcold @stardustvanfleet @sinsofstardust @sunfl0wer-power @gracev0609 @the-wicked-gnome @takenbythemadness @klarxtr @joshsindigostreak @runwayblues @allieisacrybaby @wideminded-dreamer @dannythedog @dannyandthekiszkas @josh-iamyour-mama @sanguinebats @itsafullmoon

[ncstalgicz]

♡ 𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑 ♡

miguel o’hara x reader

au timeline

sypnosis: reader is a stripper where miguel pays her a good fortune for pleasing him warnings: teasing, lap dancing, rich miguel 😍, not edited, cursing, neck-biting, a little bit of some spicy scenes, obsessed miguel, mentions of sexual materials words: 2.1k music: maneater - nelly furtado

You were tired. Tired of all the dancing. The fame. The music. Your legs were hurting really bad due to the choice of heels that your boss was requesting. “Fuck, I feel like I can’t even walk.” You told your friend Amelia who was drinking water from her locker. “Me too, I can’t get a break without the boss ordering me every second to please a man.” She complained. Your boss was a 40 year old woman who seemed to only care about her job.

“For real, fuck her old ass.” You cursed. As if coincidence she came into the locker room where she saw you and your friend staying quiet looking at each other. “Is there a problem in here?” She asked. You look at her and shake your head. “Good, Y/n you have another request. This time put on the red heels this man looks like he would choose red as his signature color.” She told you motioning to the red heels in her hand. You groan quietly so she won’t be able to hear. As soon as she left the room you turned to your friend. “I can’t take another request my legs are tired of this shit.”

“But you have to do it. What about your mom?!” She asked you. Your mom was in the hospital currently fighting cancer. You would do anything to help her but the chances were really low. Once you found out about her situation, you got fired at your old job and soon found this place thanks to your friend. Your friend told you about keeping the job a secret so you wouldn’t feel weird about her, though you never did and took the job. “I know. Fine but this is my last one after this my shift is over.” You recall.

You looked into your locker to find some red lingerie you never wore and went into the dressing room. You finished putting it on as you looked in the mirror to see that the lingerie fit on your curves perfectly to show them off. You look at your ass and could tell this was really revealing. “What am I wearing.” You looked at yourself with anxiety. You put on a black see-through sweater hoping it would make it less revealing. You walk back into the locker room to notice that your friend was gone. Music was heard blasting on the stage as you peaked through the curtain and see Amelia on the pole dancing her ass off. “Damn she looks hot.” You mutter in awe.

You went back to the locker room as you got your makeup kit and starting curling your eyelashes, putting on some dark red lipstick and some eyeshadow. “Perfect!” You soon go to your vanity and see the keycard for the room. “She didn’t tell me it would be a private dance.” You got even more anxious. Sometimes the other strippers would always come back ashamed, knowing what must of happened you never took private requests. You remembered your mother. “Fuck.” You cursed. Sometimes private requests pay good so you took the chances.

You took the keycard as you try to find the room. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck…It’s only 10 minutes you can do it.” you continued cursing until you found the door. Room 2099. You hand shakes as you grab the handle and turn it and open the door. The room signifies a dim red as the led lights work their magic. You look at the room curiously, never ever being inside a private room. Their wasn’t anyone in here. Just a pole, a couch, a bed, and- oh no. Their was a bathroom. ‘Fuck. He must be in there.’ You thought to yourself.

Trying to be sneaky you try to distract yourself by opening a few drawers that were in the room looking at the stuff. Condoms, pills, lube, and bunny ears. Not noticing the door to the bathroom opens the man walks up behind you noticing your curious figure. You look at the bunny ears trying them on as you felt a shiver crawl up your back. “Eres tú el que pedí? (Are you the one I requested?)” He asks you. You freeze noticing the deep, husky voice as you turn around and look at him. ‘Lord have mercy, he is hot!’ “What?” You whisper.

He looks down at you as you just stay there in place with the bunny ears still in your head. He was wearing a buttoned black shirt with some black jeans. The black shirt shows his abs. “Are you the one I requested?” He asks you again this time in annoyance. You look away from his clothes as you nod not being able to find the words to say yes. He walks away from you as he sits on the couch putting one arm on his lap while the other holds the couch. “Go ahead, hermosa. (Beautiful)” Not knowing what he just said you go near the Bluetooth that was on top of a drawer as you press shuffle. The song Man-eater plays. ‘God damnit why this song?!’ You thought to yourself as you got on the pole and you start putting your legs around it and you spin with your butt showing off to the man.

‘Fuck I hate this shit.’ You curse in your head. “Not over there, hermosa. Over here.” He pats on his lap. You stop dancing as you got off the pole. “I’m not allowed to do that sir, I’m sorry.” You lied. “I specifically told your boss that I wanted it, she told me that I was allowed to. And now you’re over here lying to me.” He looked at you menacingly. You gulp in fear. You start walking slowly towards him as you got on his lap and you just look at him. He just stares at you with those crimson eyes. ‘God damn. I can’t with those eyes.’ You slowly start taking off your sweater only being on the lingerie. You start lap-dancing. You’ve never done this before so you start off by grinding your ass on his crotch. ‘What the hell am i doing?!’ You thought to yourself. You got off his lap as you start swerving your ass towards him.

Out of nowhere you start to sit on his lap as you put your arms behind his neck holding a fistful of his hair and motioning him towards your neck.

He hesitates before he starts biting your neck as you shiver at the feeling of his lips on your neck. You start rocking back and forth on his clothed shaft. You feel it. Before anything else could happen you get off him and you sit down on his lap facing the pole in front of you. You continue grinding your ass on his lap as he continues sucking on your neck. You hold back a moan as he starts getting rough. You hold his face towards your lips. Before both of your lips can touch you get up and start dancing on the pole. You spin around the pole showing your ass towards him. Something felt different about that man. His hair. His face. Those eyes. God damn those eyes. The way they dim perfectly with the light.

He gets up as he goes towards you and he grabs your waist and makes you face him. Before you can do anything he grabs your face and he sucks more on your neck. He’s so needy. You hook your legs on his waist grabbing his hair as he takes you to the bed. He pushes your body on the bed as you start unzipping your lingerie. Being inpatient the man kisses you and bites your lip. Not being able to hold back you start moaning into his mouth as you start making out. You start taking his clothes off.

‘We just met this isn’t right.’ Before you can stop he starts taking off your lingerie. ‘But oh god he makes me feel something.’ The song in the background soon comes to a stop and so does the timer. It beeps as you look at him full of lust. He looks back at you. You grab his face as you kiss his nose.

“Goodnight.” You whisper getting off of him. You try to zip back your lingerie but to no avail you stand there awkwardly. You look back at the man who was just staring at you sitting on the bed. “Can you help me zip it up?” You ask him. He gets up from the bed walking towards you as he starts zipping it up. His fingers stay on the zipper as you feel his hands. So rough. Once he finishes you thank him as you head out of the room. You immediately run to your vanity.

Your friend just looks at herself in the mirror wiping her face with a wipe so the makeup would go away. She see’s you running towards your own vanity. “Hey. You okay?” She asks you worried. You sit on the chair as you look at her with a smile. You start laughing. “What? What?!” You friend asks starting to laugh with you. “Oh nothing, I just met this guy and started to almost lose my virginity to him. Can you believe it?! To a guy I just met?!” You told her laughing. She looks at you in bewilderment.

“There’s no way.” You just nod laughing. “Okay, we’ll congrats I guess but was he hot at least?!” She asks you. “Oh he was hotter than the sun itself. His face, his lips…those eyes.” You remember those red crimson eyes. The way he looked at you through them. “It was like the color of blood.” You mesmerize. “Okay let’s go get our money, Casanova.” She teases. You both get up heading towards your bosses office. “You wanna go first, or shall I?” Your friend asks you. Your boss never liked the company of more than one person. “You go I’ll stay out here.” You tell her. “Okay, see you in a bit.” You stay there as you recall what just happened a few minutes ago. ‘I wanna see him again.’ You thought to yourself.

Your friend comes back with her check. “How much?” You ask her. “800 Bucks. Not much but it’s something.” She tells you. “Although I saw one of the checks. 7,000 bucks, whoever got the man must be one lucky lady.” You Look at her in Shock as you start biding goodbye to her noticing her getting ready to leave. You open the door as you start swearing nervously. “No need to be so nervous, it’s not that little by the way.” You boss reassures you. She writes her signature on your check as she gives it to you.

You grab the piece of paper as you look at the amount. $7,000. “Who paid this much?!” You ask her in shock. “The one who requested the private dance. Seems you did a good job.” She tells you. You continue looking at the piece of paper. ‘This could help my mom so much. Thank you.’ You exclaim in your head full of happiness. You exit out of the office as you immediately text your friend. She couldn’t believe it either.

Whoever that man was..must’ve been crazy rich.

Somewhere far off, is a mansion. Living in that mansion is the one and only Miguel O’ Hara. He got back from the club remembering the lap-dance. The way your hips moved to the beat of the song. The way your ass was swerving. Your eyes. ‘Ojos tan hermosas (such beautiful eyes).’ He thinks so himself remembering your eyes. Full of lust. He remembers they way you gripped his hair. Your moans were music to his ears noticing how much pleasure you got from him. Hey payed you good just for 10 minutes. It didn’t even feel like ten minutes for him. He wanted more.

The next weekend he came back and asked for you again. This time he couldn’t. You weren’t there. You got some free time with your mother to help her. Instead he took some other random girl but it wasn’t the same eyes, lips, body, or face. He wanted you only.

‘Esta chica..que devorador de hombres. (This girl…what a maneater.’ He thought to himself in the car looking at your figure walking towards the club. He got off the car heading towards the club for another round with you. He heads inside requesting for you again. This time his request was accepted. He got into the room changing the lights, putting on better clothes, cologne.

He went back into the bathroom. He heard you come in through the door. He opens the bathroom door a little bit to see you looking around curiously. He goes up behind you again. “Did you miss me..?” His low voice asks you. You turn quickly turn around and see him again. “Tons.” You Look at him with a crazy look in your eyes. You both look at each other knowing what will happen next.

[the-rarest-sexiest-coinkydink]

heyo, could i request a mikey x transmasc! reader (he/him) where reader is childhood friends with the ways but moved away when they were little. and then they move back to nj later mostly post-transition and mikey falls like,,, super hard?? sorry if it’s too detailed but i just really like the idea!! no pressure tho :))

New Jersey, Revisited (Mikey Way x transmasc!reader)

Summary: as above, basically :) 

Word count: 5133 (yes I really enjoyed this one how can you tell) 

Warnings: little bit of talk of dysphoria, one use of a deadname but not in a nasty way! It’s entirely accidental; discussion of surgery + recovery, but not in tons of graphic detail

AN: so I’ve kind of got it in my head that Mikey and (y/n) are about 25/26 (so we’re looking at the year of the ProRev tour era wise) but if you want to interpret this any other way then feel free!

(also why is naming fics so fucking hard) 

The idea of coming back to live in New Jersey again was always one that made (y/n)’s heart do a little dance in his chest. Sure, the area he’d grown up was a bit of a shithole - but it was his shithole. He’d always had fond memories of the house he’d grown up in, the school he’d gone to, the friends he’d made. His older cousins that had stayed in the area had been talking about a ten year high school reunion next year, and he quite liked the idea of that. He wasn’t ten years out of high school just yet, but it also wasn’t that far away either. Maybe he’d get away with tagging along with someone else and surprising all those people he hadn’t seen since he was a teenager. Not that they would have any memory of him. For one, he’d moved away when he was thirteen, so they’d probably have forgotten about him by now. And point number two - he wasn’t the same man he was all those years ago. 

Well, neither would his old classmates be. Puberty, and all that. But somehow he doubted that anyone else in his year group would have transformed in quite the same way he had. 

Sweating after the exertion of moving all his boxes of crap into the right rooms in his new flat, he dug through the nearest suitcase for a clean shirt (cursing his own terrible packing skills as he did so) and tugged the other one over his head, starting a little laundry pile in the corner of the bathroom and stopping for a second to admire himself in the mirror. He really did look good. The pinkish top surgery scars decorating his chest were just over eighteen months old, and those last eighteen months had been some of the best of his life so far. Of course there had been some rough patches; post-surgery recovery sucked ass, and life couldn’t be perfect all the time. But overall, he was so much happier now than he ever had been before. 

Life had just got exponentially better with every milestone in his transition, thinking about it. The first time his parents used the name he’d chosen, coming to accept him after initial confusion when he’d come out. His very first short haircut, which hadn’t exactly been stylish but he’d loved it nonetheless. His first binder, first testosterone shot, first straggly facial hair. And then top surgery had blown everything else out of the water. And he had a feeling that the next surgery on the list would have the same effect. 

Thinking back on his coming out experience as he reapplied his deodorant made him laugh. His parents hadn’t really understood what he was trying to tell them - they had been wonderfully supportive, just... a little bit unsure. Around nine months after they’d moved to Chicago, he’d written them a letter in the dead of night and left it on the table so they’d wake up to it and read it without him having to be there. Which wouldn’t have been a terrible idea if his parents hadn’t entirely misread the thing. So he’d woken up to his mom sat on the end of his bed, letter in hand, a sympathetic look on her face. 

“Honey, you must really miss Mikey and all your other friends back in New Jersey. I get that. But give it some time and you’ll make some nice new friends here, I promise. You’ve just got to get to know people.”

“I- huh?” 

She waved the letter slightly. “You said you feel like you get on better with the boys than girls. And that’s okay! Some girls are just more comfortable around boys for a little while. Girls can be pretty bitchy.”

“No, I - I said I wanted to be a boy. Like, I’m not a girl.” 

“Oh. I... Oh.” She looked back down at the paper, squinting to reread the words. “Honey your handwriting is terrible! I never would have worked that out from this.”

“Hey it’s not that bad! But... is it okay? You know, that I’m not...” 

She leant over and patted his knee. “Honey, you’re you. That’s more than enough for me and your dad. Whatever you need us to change, let us know. I can’t promise we’ll remember all the time, but we’ll try our very best.” 

It certainly made for a funny story to tell, anyway. And his parents had always been phenomenally supportive of him - even when he said he was moving back to New Jersey. They’d originally thought that he meant just for the duration of the recovery period after his upcoming surgery, but when they realised that he meant to move back for good they only had one thing to say: it makes sense. Over time he’d fallen in love with Chicago, but New Jersey was still home and it had always been obvious that he felt that way. And when he’d found a surgeon based out of a hospital twenty minutes away from where he’d grown up? Well, it was like fate. Clearly, the universe wanted him back in New Jersey. 

As it often did when he was reminiscing about his journey, (y/n)’s mind wandered to Mikey. They’d been best friends since the day they started school, bonding over the fact that their birthdays were only a few weeks apart, and had been inseparable until the day his family moved away. Mikey had actually cried when the car pulled away, clutching the piece of paper with his closest friend’s new address on it almost as tightly as he’d hugged him. They’d been each other’s first ever sleepovers, spent years trailing around after Gerard and getting on his nerves - and once, memorably, each received a tremendous bollocking from both sets of parents after (y/n) had hidden in Mikey’s wardrobe so he didn’t have to go home when his parents came by to collect him and made everyone panic that he’d gone missing on the way back from school. No two kids could possibly have been closer. 

The two of them had stayed in contact for almost a year, but as life had got in the way (and he hadn’t quite found the courage to come out, scared of how his best friend might react) the letters had slowly grown further and further apart before stopping altogether. Somewhere within his luggage, there was a shoebox full of those letters. He’d kept every single one. Every little update about what their favourite teachers were up to, every fuzzy polaroid of the rest of the gang doing whatever stupid shit they’d decided to do that day, every drawing and friendship bracelet and bad joke from a chocolate bar wrapper. He’d clung onto those little fragments of his childhood best friend like a lifeline. Part of him imagined that Mikey had done the same, thinking about him from time to time, wondering what he was up to now. 

Of course, he knew exactly what Mikey was up to these days. His small town best friend in the whole wide world had gone on to become a big time rock star. How cool was that? They had always had a very similar taste in music, and so a lot of the inspirations behind My Chemical Romance were instantly obvious to him the second he put his headphones in. It felt a bit strange, calling himself a fan of the band when he’d grown up with half of the members, but he supposed that was good enough for now. The chances of the two of them ever meeting up again were incredibly low. He didn’t know if Mikey still lived in the same place, if he even still lived in New Jersey! And it wasn’t like he was going to just bump into him on the street. Coincidences like that belonged in rom-coms. 

Looking around at the haphazard stack of cardboard boxes that contained his entire life, (y/n) decided that there was no way in hell he could be bothered to sort them out now. That was just far too much effort after lugging them all up the stairs. He had plenty of time to get it all sorted at a nice slow pace, so there was really no point starting right this minute. He needed a coffee. 

~~~~~~~~~~ 

It really was nice to be home, Mikey thought as he walked through the door of his favourite coffee shop and got in the queue. Even if home meant being sworn at by people if he walked a bit too close and fearing for his life every time he crossed the road. There was a sweet familiarity that came with the grimy streets, and he honestly wouldn’t trade it for the world. It did feel strange being back, finally standing still after what had felt like two months of constant moving. He loved touring, but it really did suck the life out of him sometimes. Two months of crap motels, raging hangovers and constant performance was the perfect combination for exhaustion, and he was really looking forward to the time off. It was the little things that made him smile, too. Like being back in his favourite place, that tiny cafe that in his opinion did the best coffee in the world. He’d spent countless hours in there, listening to the rain against the windows while he read a book or watched Gerard sketch. It was it’s own peaceful little bubble. 

He ordered his usual when he got to the counter, fighting back the blush that threatened to paint his cheeks as the cute barista smiled up at him. Thankfully his favourite table was clear, and he kept an eye on it while he was waiting. The little table in the corner with the slightly wonky leg was where Gerard had taken him and his best friend for their first ever coffee when they were ten. They’d both sworn not to tell their parents, but that had gone straight out of the window when they’d taken her home - she’d practically been buzzing. That memory always made him smile, the way she’d bounced on her toes and the look on his big brother’s face that very clearly said, ‘I’m so fucked’. 

He thought about his childhood best friend a lot, these days. So much had happened in his life since she’d moved away, stuff that the two of them had daydreamed about as kids, staring up at shapes in the clouds and wondering what they’d be when they grew up. He wondered if she even remembered him. He didn’t think he’d ever be able to forget her. 

Lost a little in thought as he took his drink and started forwards to go to his table, he bumped into someone. It wasn’t exactly a high impact collision - the coffee in his mug barely rippled - but the effect it had on his heart was seismic. Standing at his shoulder, a mixture of pure shock and embarrassment on his face, was the prettiest man Mikey had ever seen. If you had asked a younger, much more Catholic Mikey, what he thought angels looked like, he probably would have described the exact face that was now staring up at him. His tongue tripped over the words as he tried to apologise, barely aware that the man next to him was examining every detail of his face in sheer wonder. 

“God, I am so sorry! Are you okay? I- I didn’t see you, I was- I... thinking a little too hard, sorry. I should’ve looked where I was going.” 

Feeling like all the air had left his lungs, (y/n) managed a nod. “Yeah, I- I’m fine. Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, I’m good. Didn’t even spill my drink, so...” He trailed off, something nagging at the back of his mind. As he tried to put his finger on what was catching his attention it darted away, like a fish clever enough to avoid a lured hook. He just couldn’t work out what it was; he wanted to put it down to the sheer beauty of the man before him, but a part of his brain was screaming that there was something more than that. “I... I’m sorry, do I know you? You look kinda familiar, but... I’m not great with faces.” 

A smile caught at the edges of his mouth; he was going to have a little fun with this. Why wouldn’t he? Hundreds of times over the years he’d dreamt about what it would be like to swan into a room of his old classmates, watching them fawn over the teen heartthrob he’d become without realising who he’d been before, then basking in their reactions when he told them. Now, he was getting to play that out in real life for the very first time. 

“Uh, yeah, I’m pretty sure we have met. I’m not great with names though, so... sorry.” 

“Oh it’s okay. I’m Mikey.” He didn’t notice the little glimmer of emotion in the shorter man’s eyes. “I... wait. Hold up just a second, I do know you! You, uh, you’re one of (deadname)’s cousins, right? I think we met at someone’s birthday party.” 

Somehow, his old name coming out of Mikey’s mouth didn’t make him as uncomfortable as he thought it might. He didn’t hate his dead name, not really; while some of the kids at school had been assholes about it for a while before getting bored with harassing him and moving on to some other poor sucker, his parents had never once used it against him maliciously. So while there was some discomfort there, it wasn’t as bad as the feelings that some of his trans friends had surrounding their deadnames. Perhaps it was the context, though: the fact he’d assumed that he was one of his own cousins was a shot of gender euphoria stronger than any liquor. 

“Well, you’re almost there, so, uh, you get points for trying. But... I haven’t used that name in a good few years. I’ve been (y/n) since I was 14.” 

Mikey’s jaw dropped, and he put his coffee down with enough force that it slopped a little over the side. His hands moved to (y/n)’s cheeks, squishing them gently the way he’d always done when they’d made fun of each other as kids. He moved to do the same back, the tears finally spilling over. “Hiya Mikes.” 

In the space of a second, Mikey was hugging him tightly enough to crush some ribs, sniffling into his shoulder just as he had done on that day so many years ago. He smelled almost exactly the same, that soft note of cotton scented deodorant mixed with laundry powder and minty shower gel, dashed with something that was so unique to his best friend that he’d know it a hundred miles away. (y/n)’s hands splayed across his back in the same way they always had, his forehead pressed against Mikey’s neck. He’d always felt safe like that, listening to the thrum of his heart beneath his skin, feeling his breath on the top of his head. When he was with Mikey, the rest of the world just slid away. He was glad that that had stayed the same after so long, too. 

The barista set (y/n)’s coffee down at the end of the counter, smiling softly at the obvious emotional moment going on before shifting the rest of the queue ever so slightly so that they wouldn’t block people’s way. 

He pulled back, eyes glittering with disbelief as he tested the new name on his tongue. “(y/n)... (y/n). God, that suits you so well. You... you look amazing.” 

“Yeah? You’ve grown up pretty well yourself.” Blushing deeply at his compliment, he allowed himself to stare at Mikey properly. He really had matured, growing into those pretty cheekbones magnificently. All those times he’d imagined what his best friend might look like now, and he’d never quite pictured him like this. But looking at him now, it all made sense. And the raging crush that he’d had when he was twelve years old came back, crashing down on him like a ton of bricks. 

Little did he know, the exact same thoughts were going through Mikey’s head. He was astounded by how much he’d changed - and yet, how much he’d stayed the same. The shorter haircut fit his facial features so well, and his style was pretty much the same as it had always been; it just framed him so much better now. He was head over heels, and there was no hope of denying it. If Gerard walked in right now, he’d instantly jump to making the exact same jokes he always made about Mikey having a crush - without even realising that he was joking about the exact same person, over a decade later. 

“Dude, please tell me you’ve got time to sit down.” 

“For you? Always.” 

Finally picking up their coffees the two of them headed over to the corner table, settling opposite each other and grinning wide enough to split their faces in two. They were both taller than they had been the last time they’d sat here; their knees were squished together under the table. The two of them started talking at the same time, giggling as their words overlapped before stopping for a second. 

“You go.” 

“No, you can start.” 

“No, you go first.” 

The bickering took them straight back to old times, and soon the conversation was flowing like water. It didn’t seem possible to cover over a decade of separation in as much detail as they both needed, but they certainly tried their best. 

“So, yeah. The FBI came round.” 

“You were fifteen?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Your mom must have wanted to kill you!” 

“Oh she did... I still got to go the gigs though. That Pumpkins tour was insane.” 

When they got round to the story of (y/n)’s transition, Mikey had tons of questions to ask. Like everyone else, he found his coming out story hilarious - and knowing his mom personally made it even funnier. When he talked about his voice cracking after getting on testosterone, the only thing Mikey could say was, “Now you know how I felt! I wish I’d been there to give you the same shit you gave me.” 

He smiled softly, hands wrapped around his mug. “Yeah, I wish you’d been there too. I’ve missed you a lot, you know.” 

“I’ve missed you too. I don’t know if I can describe just how much, but...” Trailing off, Mikey pushed back the sleeve of his hoodie, revealing the tatty band of coloured string around his left wrist. “I’ve worn this since you sent it to me. It hasn’t come off once.” 

Mouth hanging open, (y/n) pulled his hand closer to take a better look. Both men tried their hardest not to show just how wonderful it felt to hold the other’s hand, but when (y/n) pushed his own sleeve back to show the matching friendship bracelet, just as ragged and grubby as Mikey’s, the two of them cried almost enough to refill their empty coffee cups. 

It took (y/n) a few tries to choke the words out through the tears. “I thought... I thought maybe you would’ve forgotten about me.” 

“Never. No way.” Mikey squeezed his hand, swallowing around the lump in his throat. “You’re the one person I could never forget. Not in a million years.” 

“I only ever took this off once, you know.” 

“A whole once?” He managed a laugh, rolling his eyes. “Wow, I see how it is.” 

“Hey, it wasn’t exactly my idea!” (y/n) scoffed, whacking him softly. “I wasn’t allowed to have it on when I went in for top surgery, something about an infection risk. My mom was there when I woke up after, and apparently the first thing I said was, and I quote-” He paused, taking a deep breath for effect. “If anyone touches my damn bracelet, I’ll eat their balls.” 

Mikey cackled so hard he almost fell out of his chair, clutching at his ribs as he wheezed. “You’d eat their balls?” 

“Shut up, I was doped up on painkillers! I don’t even remember it happening.” When Mikey continued laughing, he grabbed a packet of sugar from the little tub on the table and tossed it at his face. “I bet you say stupid things when you’re drunk too.” 

“Well...” 

The two of them sat there trading stories about being in My Chemical Romance and working as a photographer at concerts until the cafe closed, apologising profusely to the very amused barista as they watched her switch all the machines off, then the lights. 

Mikey offered to walk (y/n) home, both of them delighted to find out that they only lived a five minute walk away from each other. They traded phone numbers at the door to (y/n)’s apartment building and were texting before he’d even got in the elevator, elated to finally be back in each others lives. Neither man had wanted to say goodbye, but the promise of seeing each other again tomorrow kept them going. After so long, the thought of missing out on anything else was too much to bear. 

~~~~~~~~~~

And so three weeks later, as he set his bag down in the little stand next to the hospital bed, (y/n) shot a quick text to Mikey. 

Hey! Won’t be around today - I’m having the ol’ baby-making kit removed up at the hospital this morning. I’m pretty sure I told you about that but if I didn’t... well, I just did! Anyway, I’ll be pretty sleepy post-op, and the doctors have told me I’ll have to take it easy for a while, so I’ll catch up with you in a few days, yeah? Say hi to your mom for me! 

The two of them had spent at least fifteen of the last twenty-one days in each other’s company in one way or another, whether it was at someone’s flat or out for coffee or wandering around the comic book store for hours on end. It was a shame that he probably wouldn’t see him for another week or so, given that he had mentioned a couple of interviews that had been scheduled for the band. But the doctors had told him in no uncertain terms that he’d have to take it easy for at least four or five days, to give the incision a chance to start healing before putting it through too much stress. So he’d have to settle for texting, just for a little while. 

Careful to put his bracelet in the safest place possible, (y/n) slipped quickly into the hospital gown and stuck his head out from around the curtain. 

“Okay! I’m good to go.” 

When he woke three hours later, groggy and aware of a slight pulling sensation across his stomach, he certainly hadn’t expected to also feel a hand tucked into one of his. Careful not to sit up just yet, he glanced down - smiling at the sight of his bracelet, back where it belonged. And a very familiar person sitting in the chair next to his bed. 

Spotting the little movement, Mikey squeezed his hand, grinning. “Couldn’t have you threatening to eat anyone’s balls this time.” 

“Much appreciated.” 

“How are you feeling? And you didn’t tell me before, by the way, so I freaked the fuck out reading that earlier.” 

He laughed slightly, wincing a little as the pulling sensation got stronger. “Sorry. But hey, no more uterus. That’s pretty fucking cool.” 

“Yeah, it sure is.” He stroked across the back of his hand, careful not to knock the cannula where it was taped in place. “Do you want me to get a nurse? Tell someone you’re awake?” 

“Nah, they’ll find out eventually.” His eyes slid closed again, heavy with the weight of anaesthesia. “You being here is enough right now.” 

Mikey tried to tell himself that it was just the meds talking, but he couldn’t help but feel a little giddy at those words. He was ridiculously, stupendously, immeasurably in love with his best friend, and right now he wanted the whole world to know it. Ideally he’d tell him first, of course, but that required being brave. And he really didn’t know if now was the right time. 

Inhibitions steamrollered by the remaining drugs in his system, (y/n) had no such problem, and just kept rambling on. “Y’know, I’m so glad I found you again.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah. Thought I was gonna have to make do with committing all your bass lines to memory. This is so much better.” 

“You know, I’d always wondered whether you’d find out about the band or not. Every time I get on stage, I imagine you being in the crowd, having the best time. Maybe I can bring you to a show someday.” 

“Oh, I’d love that.” He nodded thoughtfully, still holding Mikey’s hand. “But I would be happy anywhere as long as I was with you.” 

“You would?” 

“Mhm.” He yawned, stretching his neck gently. “Don’t you ever go anywhere without me ever again, Mikey Way. You’re my everything.” 

“I... I am?” That pretty much sounded like a confession to him, and his heart ached against his ribs as he tried to scrape together the courage to say something back. 

But as he took his first deep breath, (y/n) had already drifted back to sleep. 

When he woke again an hour and a half later, he had zero recollection of the conversation they’d had. Mikey was very quick to realise this, given the way his face lit up at the sight of the little friendship bracelet. 

“Aww, did you put that back? Thank you. And thank you for being here.” 

“Hey, I’d do anything for you.” Knowing that really, it was now or never, he decided to take the plunge. “So, you were awake earlier. Do you remember anything from that?” 

“I was awake?” (y/n) frowned, thinking for a second before shaking his head. “I don’t remember being awake.” 

“I didn’t think you would. You, uh... you weren’t making much sense, but there was one thing I did pick out.” 

“Mhm?” All of a sudden, anxiety clawed at his veins. What had he said? Had he confessed the way he felt? Was this Mikey’s way of telling him that he wasn’t comfortable being friends any more because of it? 

“So I needed to tell you...” He paused for a second, taking (y/n)’s other hand in his free one and bringing it to his lips. “You’re my everything too. I... God, I am so in love with you it doesn’t even feel real. I’ve been in love with you since I was eleven years old, and you going away tore me apart. And now you’re home again, and you’re you, and it’s the most incredible thing. I thought those feelings had gone away, but... they’re so strong. You’ve still got that stupid sense of humour, and amazing taste in music, and you’ve gone from being that crazy tiny kid to the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. I love you so much.” 

(y/n) was entirely speechless for a few moments, struggling to comprehend exactly what was going on. Was he dreaming this? Was this the anaesthesia playing tricks, lighting up the sleeping parts of his brain and sending his mind on a wild goose chase? But no. The feeling of Mikey’s breath, warm against his cold knuckles, was enough to prove that this had to be real. And he damn well knew what he was going to do about it. 

He started to sit up very slowly, not wanting burst stitches to ruin the moment. Mikey tried to stop him, eyes watery as he waited anxiously for a response but still more concerned with his safety. “What- what are you doing?” 

“Something I should’ve done a very long time ago.” 

And, as gently as he could, (y/n) kissed him. 

The sensation made the emotions they both felt upon coming back to New Jersey seem miniscule, insignificant. It couldn’t possibly matter where in the world they were, as long as they had each other. Careful to avoid the new wounds, Mikey settled one hand on (y/n)’s thigh and the other on the back of his neck, keeping him as close as he dared as they drank each other in. This was everything he’d dreamed of. For now, he had no intentions of telling the other man that he’d been the subject of every wet dream, the thought fuelling every hasty wank. No intentions of telling him that he’d pictured them meeting again, falling in love, spending the rest of their lives together. No intentions of telling him that instead of a prom date, he’d taken a Polaroid of the two of them and kept it in his pocket the whole night, never dancing with anybody else. 

And of course, (y/n) definitely wasn’t going to tell him that his was the name he whispered in the dead of night, fingers finding all the right places and wondering what it would feel like if they belonged to him. Definitely wouldn’t reveal that he’d slept with the shirt that he’d given him as a goodbye present every day for three whole years after moving away, desperately needing him to be back by his side. Definitely wasn’t going to share that every time he’d seen a couple walking down the street, he’d pictured it as if it was the two of them instead. 

Not yet, anyway. All those stories could wait for later - they had forever to spare. For now, the only thing that mattered was the way their lips felt against each other, like they’d been designed solely for the other to appreciate. Like they’d been made for each other right from the very start. 

Well, (y/n) thought as they broke apart for air, foreheads pressed together and hands stroking sides. Eleven year old me is definitely punching the air right now. 

“I love you too, idiot.” 

“R-really?” The hope in Mikey’s eyes was brighter than the stage lights he was still so uneasy performing under, shining as (y/n) cupped his face. He moved to do the same, smiling as he rolled his eyes. 

“The kiss wasn’t enough to prove it, huh?” 

“I don’t know man. Maybe it’s best that you do it again.” 

(y/n) grinned as he leant back in. “Well I guess I’ll have to, won’t I? Because I don’t plan on letting you out of my sight any time soon.” 

“Oh, what a shame.” 

[darkcrowprincess]

Goldenlight week 2023: 💜💛 Day 5 Dancing

Everyone is always surprised when Luz tells people she can do ballet. It's always the same comment's; "But your too clumsy and hyper, Not graceful enough, too much of a tomboy. Not traditionally feminine enough." Their are always worse comment's. Especially from jealous white dance moms trying to live out their dreams through their daughters. Even so, Luz doesn't care. She remembers something her dad once told her about her dancing.

"Mijita, if it's your dream, es tu pasión. You keep doing it. Don't care what anyone else says. When you dance you light up the whole world."

It gets harder to remember that with him gone. She doesn't do much dancing in front of other people anymore. What's the point if her dad isn't there to see it? Who loved it the most. Still when things get too frustrating, like say a portal door you been working on for two months blows up. When your only hope blows up in fire and smoke and you have to start all over from scratch! Well let's just say you need to left off some steam. You need to grab your dance bag from your closest, hop on your bike and just ride off to the dance studio in Gravesfield.

Her dance teacher, even though she's not officially a student anymore(not enough money to keep taking classes when there's only one parent around) still lets her use the studio when classes are finish.

"You were always a breath of fresh air Luz! And so much postive enjoy. All the other students never really wanted to be here. It was always their mother's making them. But you! So happy and full of passion."

Her dance teacher always said she was her favorite. Still she goes through the back. She can't deal with questions or what's wrong from her teacher right now. She never notices a certain bad but sad boy following her.

Luz enters the studio. Familiar glass mirrors and bars along the wall. She drops her bag and soon takes out blue, well used and love ballet shoes. She gets to work putting them on, than does her stretches. Once that's finished she puts her air pods on and taps to her playlist on her phone. A much loved and used playlist for when she feels like this. Gasoline by Halsey starts filling her ears. Finally she lets go.

Are you insane like me? Been in pain like me? Bought a hundred dollar bottle of champagne like me? Just to pour that motherfucker down the drain like me? Would you use your water bill to dry the stain like me?

Luz lets the music take her away. She dances familiar and comforting moves she's done a million times. Standing on tip toes, twirling, arching this way and that. Spinning and taking big leaps around the room. Her only company is her reflection(and unknown to her a boy at the door about to speaks but stops when she starts dancing).

And all the people say You can't wake up, this is not a dream You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen Low on self-esteem, so you run on gasoline

Without realizing it though, tears are dripping down her eyes. Frustrated and angry tears. She soon closers her eyes to ignore the tears. Getting completely lost. Not noticing Hunter enter the room quietly to watch her.

I think there's a flaw in my code (Oh, ooh-oh, ooh-oh, oh) These voices won't leave me alone Well, my heart is gold and my hands are cold

Luz ends up holding her arms out gracefully like a bird and just ends up twirling around the room with out stopping. Round and round she goes. She opens her eyes on one of her twirls and sees a familiar face.

"Ahh!" She cries out in surprise, ends up slipping and falling to her knees. Hunter runs to, and kneels. "I'm sorry, are you ok?"

"I'm fine, did you follow me?"Luz questions. She slowly goes back onto her feet. Hunter does too. This close, she notices how tall he is. Tall but not to much taller than her. So much taller that he could crowed her. But tall enough that she feels safe. Perfect hight for dancing.

"Yeah,"sighs Hunter in apology. "I jus- I just wanted to see if you were OK."

Luz takes out her earbuds and mutes the music. She sweaty and her breathing is a little heavy

"I didn't know you could dance."

Luz looks at Hunter, and she is reminded of so many things that she doesn't want to think about right now. That's why she came here to dance. Hunter is about to open his mouth to speak more, when Luz without thinking puts fingers to his lips to keep him from talking. His eyes go wide at her touch.

"Dance with me." Luz says very serious.

"What, but I can't-?"

"Hunter I've seen you as the golden guard, and Willow has told me you fly amazingly. You certainly have some moves. Dance with me."

Hunter swallows hard, but nods and takes of his jacket. Left in only a black tank top. Luz turns of her earpods, and set up the music to play out loud. Scrolling through several songs she picks one. King of Shadow by Kat Cunning starts echoing into the dance studio.

Nobody knows you better than me Better than the lace you wear Every single detail chantilly Every curl inside your hair and I'm Falling in, fallin into the light Anything you want to do You and me, you and me intertwined I can be the king of shadow Everywhere you turn I'm chasin' you

Luz adjusts Hunter's hands onto her waist, gives him an undesirable look, than as if on signal they start moving and dancing together. And it's effortless. Like two birds flying together in the sky. They move in harmony. Two souls becoming one.

I've seen you with all your lovers who fail To please you like I know I can Hold me below the covers and say Tonight you'll let me be your hands and I'm Fallin in, fallin into the light Anything you want to do You and me, you and me intertwined

Luz has never felt like this when dancing. But it's helping so much. It clears her head. No more bad thoughts or sad feelings. She just glides across the floor with Hunter. Dancing away from his his arms she backs up, and with out being told he holds out his arms for her. She leaps up into his arms. He catches her into a bridal carry. Brings her close and starts spinning around with her.

I can be the dark, you can look right through me In a flash of love, we are just one body I can be the king of shadow I can be the king of shadow

He really is a good dancer too. It's like instic, like he's done it before. Maybe has, maybe in another life. Hunter gently brings Luz to her feet, she stands on her toes. He leans his forhead against hers. The song finally fades and finish. The both breath softly, sweat on both their bodies. She opens her eyes and stares up into his. He looks back at her.

"Are you feeling better?" He asks in soft intimate whisper.

Luz lies, because she doesn't want this to stop, "No."

Hunter nods, "Want to keep dancing?"

Luz nods and puts arms around his neck. Another song starts to play. Hunter puts his arms around her hips. They start to dance again.

[mirrortouchedsea]

ES Rarepair Week 2023 Day 2: Childhood/AU

Pairing: Madara Mikejima/Tatsumi Kazehaya

Word count: 663

Notes: So uhm. I'm trying to write in the style of Jose Saramago because I've been reading the Gospel According to Jesus Christ so this is literally two big paragraphs and I am sorry but it was a lot of fun to write so! This will hopefully be part of a much larger fic continuing in this style so it will definitely be and feel unfinished. Enjoy!

---

Since Tatsumi Kazehaya was a young boy, he knew he had to hide his faith. His parents had instilled in him a sense of fear since birth, that they were persecuted for their beliefs and he should never tell anyone about them. Hide yourself so you can continue to praise the Lord. Tatsumi didn’t understand this very well, but he continued to remove his religious iconography whenever he left the house, hanging up a cross necklace by the door before he left, but that’s something we can look at later. For now, we see Tatsumi Kazehaya as a young boy, on one of the rare days out with his family. They are going to a local aquarium that he had seen a pamphlet for a few weeks ago. What’s an aquarium, he asked his parents. It’s where they keep sea animals on land. But don’t they die without water? They keep them in tanks and take care of them, so don’t worry. Okay. He would pull out the pamphlet and look at it, trying to read the complicated words on the page before giving up. He was only five years old, after all, we shouldn’t expect him to be able to read something as complicated as this. His father picked it up and read out the names of some of the advertised exhibits. Squids, dolphins, sharks, seahorses. There are horses in the sea? They’re named that because their heads look like horses.

Tatsumi is holding his father’s hand as they walk through the aquarium, pointing out some of the different animals mentioned in the pamphlet. Tatsumi presses his face to the glass tank as children are known to do and follows a large and slow fish with his eyes. There are many brightly colored fish dancing around it, but Tatsumi’s eyes are glued to the large and slow one and he doesn’t notice as the crowd around him shifts and changes until he pulls away and realizes his father is nowhere to be found. Tatsumi’s heartbeat pounds in his chest as he tries to find a familiar face in a sea of strangers until he runs into another child. He looks about the same age as Tatsumi and he relaxes instantly. Are you lost, the other boy asks, grabbing Tatsumi’s hand and pulling him away from the crowd. I think so. Who were you here with? My mom and dad. What do they look like? My dad has hair like mine, he points to his head of mint green hair, and my mom has the same eyes. He talks a little too mature for his age, but then again, so does the boy who found him. Can you tell me your name, Tatsumi asks. Madara, and yours? Tatsumi. Nice to meet you Tatsumi-san. Madara pulled Tatsumi around again, walking through the different tunnels like he knew the place well. Do you live in the aquarium, Tatsumi asks as they pass through another room filled with fish. No, but I’m friends with the owner’s son. Is he nice? He’s interesting, but I don’t know if nice is a word to describe him. How so? If you met him you’d know. Can I meet him? Maybe someday, but they keep him pretty guarded. Tatsumi didn’t say anything after that and instead pondered why a child like him would be kept under such close watch, though he might realize he was in a similar situation if he had any awareness of how different his childhood was from most. It took a few more turns through some less crowded rooms before Madara finally stopped, hand still holding Tatsumi’s. Where are we? Somewhere we can wait for your family. How will they find me? Well don’t you ask a lot of questions. Wouldn’t you? I guess. So how will my parents find me? They just will, I don’t know how it works but they’ll find you here. Will you wait with me? I’m not supposed to. Can you? 

[faghubby]

Friends II

"Paul go have fun" Helen told me. After the hundredth time I asked her if she was okay with me having a bachelor party. She was after all going out with the girls for her Bachelorette party to an all male review. Derrick picked me up and I kissed Helen goodnight. I had no idea what the plans where and was surprised when he drove to the old lookoutspit.

"Remember what we used to do here?" He asked grabbing his cock thru his pants.

"That was a long time ago" I stuttered a bit. As my dick got hard.

"Have you ever been with anyone else?" He asked.

"Yes, me and Helen are very active" I told him I felt uncomfortable but excited at the same time.

"I meant another man" he clarified.

"No, only you" I told him. He grabbed my hand and pulled it to his hard cock. I felt it thru his pants.

"Does Helen know?" He asked. I just shook my head. "I missed that sweet ass of yours" he told me. I stroked him thru his pants.

"Take it out" he ordered and I pulled out his cock. I stroked him.

"That's right you missed it didn't you" he asked me. Again I nodded. Be pushed my hand away and put his cock back in his pants. Then drove to a club outside of town. We where led to a private room in the back. There where several strippers. And lots of booze. I did the first shot then Derrick pulled me close and whispered in my ear.

"The rest will be virgin, better only drink what I or the bartender hand you" it was a warning I spent the night drinking juices or soda. It was all perfectly virgin as I watched all my friends and family get drunk.i got a lap dance from two of the strippers. But thought not of Helen but Derrick the whole time. As it got later people started to say goodnight. Finally I noticed Derrick, the bartender and Derricks friend George. Three large black men. Derrick drove me to a motel. He handed me the key before driving away. Inside I found bridal lingerie, a pink razor and shaving cream. I couldn't shave what would I tell Helen. But set about doing it anyway. I had just finished putting on the lingerie when Derrick walked in, but he had bought the two other men with him.

"Derrick I" was all I got out before I was tossed on the bed. A cock slid in my mouth before I even knew who's it was. Derrick pulled my panties down and applied lube to my ass. As he had the first time he just shoved his cock deep into my ass without warning. I was out of practice bit swallowed the bartenders load 10 minutes later he then said goodnight. As Derrick pulled his dirty cock from my ass and offered it to me. I hesitated but then took it in my mouth licking it clean. Derricks friend then took his place. I sucked his friend as Derrick just sat and watched.

"Your mom couldn't believe it when I told her you sucked cock better then her" Derrick told me. I couldn't answer. "Yeah, it was the year after you went away to school.

" She loved my black cock almost as much as you" Derrick informed me. "She knew you had been suckimg my cock for awhile. " Dericks friend came deep down my throat shooting his cum straight into my stomach, then he left as well.

"Derrick did you really?" I started to ask.

"Yes" he said as he pulled me onto his lap. I sank down taking every inch of him back in my ass. "Wait till I tell her you sucked three cocks tonight" he laughed and played with my nipples.

"I should go fuck Helen as well" he continued as I bounced up and down in his cock.

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 216

Did anyone really think we were going to make it through the holidays without some sort of family gathering?Did you really?  And when @mustachebatschaos has so thoughtfully given me a teenager who has little exposure to Terran foods? Plus @werewolf2578 long ago dreamt up an amazing surrogate uncle for said teenager?

puh-LEEZ!

Poor @baelpenrose, who I put through so much....

The answer, apparently, was deep frying. Or at least that was the answer that Arthur chose for making goulash portable - panne and deep fry large balls of them and serve with more of the tomatoey base for the stew as dipping sauce. Taking the containers from Arthur with a forced grin gave me something to do with my hands, rather than alternating between clenching them and flicking my fingers anxiously.

“You’re doing great, Soph,” he murmured. “Just smile, take the food, and set it somewhere convenient. Don’t dish it up, just find somewhere it won’t fall off the counter.”

I smiled with even more force. “Conor has been telling me and Maverick that every thirty minutes all day. Do you really think it’s working?”

He winked and pushed his glasses up on his nose. “Not a chance. But it’s on the ‘good friend or partner’ checklist. Requirement, I’m afraid.”

“It’s true,” Hannah added, bumping him to the side with her hips. “However, I get the ‘mom friend’ shortcut.”  I opened my mouth to protest, and a cornbread muffin was stuffed in. “I’ll set these down. Farro, help me at least arrange the food where it will make sense to her.”

I attempted to grab the containers back from him, only to be the next victim of Hannah’s gentle bullying. “Nuh uh! Mingle, hug people, let them hug you. I think Maverick needs pets.” She swore and reddened immediately. “You know what I mean.”

Giving up the fight, I took the other half of the corn muffin in one hand and brushed crumbs off my face with the other. Dammit, it was even sweet cornbread. Dirty, dirty cheater.

Maneuvering into the too-small living room, I saw what she meant about Maverick.  While the door was left wide open to the corridor and we’d been careful to stagger invites, there were still enough people sitting on various surfaces that I had to tiptoe and swivel to navigate.  Tucked into one corner was an anxious ball of chatty pilot with dark hair.

And I do mean tucked. His legs were folded underneath him, left arm hugged across his body to hold a drink while the other hand cradled his chin.  His eyes darted around frantically while he spoke with Alice, weight fidgeting constantly to ensure his long limbs weren’t bumping into people.

As quickly as I possibly could, I danced across the room to him. “Hey, Alice. I’m super sorry to interrupt, but I need to borrow Maverick for something in the kitchen.” My right hand threaded through his hair and combed it toward his face where he liked it, almost immediately settling him somewhat.

“Oh, sure,” she replied, tilting her head. “Do you need any help?”

“Kitchen’s tiny, but thank you.” It was true - none of the quarters were intended for so many people, and the kitchen had originally been a second bedroom, refitted once we were under voyage and Miys had realized that cooking was something humans enjoyed in their leisure time.

She just shrugged. “Hokay. Send Hannah this way if you have to kick her out.”

I nodded and helped Maverick to his feet. Pulling him carefully behind me, I managed to negotiate our way back to the kitchen. “Arthur, Hannah, we need the space. Promise not to dish up food.”

Hannah planted her hands on her hips and started to object, but as soon as Arthur turned, he saw what I meant. Firmly, he set a hand on Hannah’s shoulder and shook his head. “I think Maverick will do a better job than either of us at reorganizing everything.  He’ll at least know that cold all goes at one end and hot at the other.”

That gave her the necessary excuse to scowl at him. “Everyone knows that Sophia puts all the toppings with their dishes!”

Using that hand on her shoulder, he steered her and their argument past us. “Only if no one knows what the dish is. And I brought instructions for everything.”

“Alice is looking for you,” I tossed over my shoulder, assuming that the two of them would know that I meant Hannah. Tugging his hand, I pulled Maverick into the kitchen behind me before tucking myself out of the way into the corner. “Go for it.”

Frazzled, he glanced around and shoved his hands through his hair. “Go for what?”

“Putting the food where it should be most convenient or logical.” I waved one hand at everything. “They were trying to do it for us, but I don’t think anyone has figured out that you’re the one who stages everything, not me. And we both know you’re about to come out of your skin if you don’t find something productive to do.”

It took a couple hard blinks, but he finally saw what I was talking about. “Why… why are there four bowls of sour cream?”

“For the goulash balls, the birria tacos, the latkes - no, I don’t know who brought those, but they are amazing - and I think a general ‘for whatever’ bowl.”

“Oh gods.”

“Mmm hmm. I’ll stand here and tell you what everything is if you have questions.”

“Like why are there chutneys?”

“Those go with the steamed buns. They’re curry-filled. From Xio.”

A quick movement on his part, and a nod. “Doowee noh-ded.” More nodding. “Lamb? She usually does chicken.”

I chuckled. “Special occasion, apparently.”

“Not arguing.”

With that, we quietly worked through arranging everything.  As the minutes passed, I could almost measure how quickly Maverick’s anxiety settled.

“Sophia?”

Turning, I saw Parvati leaning against the entryway, a slight mocking smile on her face. “Hey. I know, I know… Hannah already got onto me…”

She shook her head and grabbed my elbow. “Mav, you got it from here?”

“I got it,” he confirmed. “Sophia, if you need to go, it’s okay. I’ll pull a chair up closer to the kitchen so I can keep everything sorted. And thank you. You were right.”

“Babe…” My voice was soft. “I don’t need to be right. I just need you to feel comfortable.”

He paused long enough to turn his head and give me a genuine smile. “I love you. Now, go find Conor and love on him, too.”

“Love you, too.” A part of me hated that I blushed when he said it, but the majority of me beat that part into submission and told it to shut the fuck up. “And will do.” Turning back to Parvati, I nodded. “Okay, let’s do this.”

“Thank fuck,” Parvati muttered. “We need a translator.”

What the what? “Vati, we have them installed in our heads?”

“You speak teenager.”

“I speak - oh.” Vati didn’t need to tug on my arm to get me to keep up anymore. I was right behind her, walking suddenly made much easier by the number of people standing to make room.

There, just inside the door to my quarters, was a very confused Teeth, no Charly, Coffey, or Nixe in sight, carrying a damp basket. They looked on the verge of either lashing out or crying by the time they saw me. “Sophia! I did the thing! I brought nourishment to share! What did I do wrong?”

Every atom in the universe would cease to exist before the time came when I would tell an upset teenager that whatever they were so proud of smelled absolutely rancid. Instead, I firmly swallowed my stomach into submission and forced myself to step closer. “What did you bring?”

Whatever Teeth said had no translation known to either human or Hujylsogox. Instead, I was treated to an unearthly screech of vowels and grinding noises. With a flourish, the lid was removed from the basket to reveal a genuinely incredible number of small crabs.

Exactly none of which were moving.

“Oh! Those look like crabs… Are they supposed to be moving?”

“We usually eat them raw, yes,” Teeth confirmed. “But I have been taught that humans do not eat living meat.”

I rolled my eyes towards the ceiling and nodded. The logic at least tracked… “So these are dead?”

“Yes.” They wrinkled their nose. “They usually do not smell like this, but many meats humans eat do not smell nice before they are cooked, I have been told.”

Hooooo boy, thank fuck. “You were trying to surprise everyone, weren’t you?”

Teeth grinned widely. “Yes! I did not tell Charly or Nixe.”

“I’m actually impressed,” I admitted. “You did a good job hiding the surprise.  Let’s step out into the corridor real quick, okay?”

They followed me and actually looked relieved when I asked someone to turn on the scrubbers before closing the door. “So, the - “

“Not-crabs,” they offered.

“Not-crabs,” I agreed. “In this case, I think we have a misunderstanding. And that’s definitely not your fault. Your logic makes sense.”

“I am pleased that humans do not eat food that smells like this,” Teeth rushed to say. “Please tell me where to dispose of them. They are foul.”

“Yeah they are,” I chuckled, relieved that Teeth was aware of the issue. “There should be a disposal unit this way.” I turned and started walking briskly.

After a few feet, Teeth broke the silence. “There is something similar in Terran food.” It wasn’t a question; they stated it as a fact. “You recognized that they should not be dead.”

“Crabs,” I confirmed. “There are a lot of Terrans that eat seafood and shellfish. Crabs are one of those.” After a glance, I lowered my voice and confided quietly, “Some we avoid eating around you, because they look like Ix’al and Brol.”

“Ah.”

“Also, we have to either cook the crabs alive, or eat them immediately after killing them.” I gestured at the basket. “That’s why everyone reacted the way they did to the smell.”

We reached the disposal unit, and Teeth dumped their parcel - basket and all - in. A whiff of their hands made their nose wrinkle, but the source of the stench was at least gone. “Is this a religious practice? Like eating the pigs?”

I laughed. “For some people, I imagine they can’t eat crabs for the same reason they can’t eat pork, yeah. But for shellfish in general, it’s biological. The meat spoils very quickly and can make us dangerously sick. So,” I took a deep breath, “we cook them alive or immediately after killing them.”

A knowing nod was their response. “We simply ate them alive on the S’crirs.”

“As small as those were, that makes sense.” I held my hands about ten inches apart. “Terran crabs are about this big usually, from what I understand. Or bigger.”

“Bigger?” A glance showed me that Teeth’s eyes were skeptical.

“Spider crabs,” I confirmed. “Their legs, stretched out, are about as wide as Miys can be tall. Those are the biggest, but none of them are sentient.” I paused, and lowered my voice again. “After meeting your parents, we asked Miys. Just to be sure.”

“I am still trying to understand that humans have had to ask more than once if a food-species was sentient.”

“Unfortunately. Hell, I still can’t eat mushrooms.”

Teeth stopped in their tracks for a moment. “Humans are truly terrifying.”

“Sometimes.”

<<Prev       Masterlist     Next>>

[taintedevesayori]

⚰️ Diatober ⚰️

Day Ten: Fire | Prompts by @fruit-of-infidelity | Masterlist

“Who cares! Ignore those idiots  Come at nights, Grab my hand and dance  Use your eyes only for me and let's light it up, Your one and only, scorching laser light!”

“Are you sure it was okay for me to come…?” Yui hesitated as they neared Lei’s house. 

“Of course! My friends have been wanting to meet you for a long time now, you know,” Sayo tried to reassure her. “Now is the perfect time.”

“That’s not all…What about the brothers…?”

“Ohh, them. Don’t worry, I left them a note. It said ‘I brought Yui on the trip with me. I didn’t give her a choice so if you’re going to get mad at anyone, get mad at me’.”

That didn’t do much to ease Yui’s worries. “What if they come looking for me…? Didn’t you have to give Reiji an address when you told him you were going on a trip?”

“Yes, an andress. I gave him one that’s far away from where we’re actually going,” Sayo smirked. 

“S-Sayo…!” She was surprised but secretly delighted. “How devious of you…”

“Have to outsmart the truly devious,” Sayo chuckled with a wink. “There was no way we were going to actually enjoy a trip without worrying any other way.”

“I guess that’s true…”

“Feel a little better now?”

“Yes,” she nodded with a smile. “Thank you for bringing me along.”

“Of course,” Sayo grinned. 

It was a bright and sunny day, and the two girls had just walked from the Sakamaki mansion to Lei’s home. Sayo had been invited on a three day trip to Lei’s family cabin in the woods. Lei’s brother, Tetsuo, was taking his girlfriend, Hana, and asked Lei if she wanted to bring some friends along since it was a big cabin. Sayo had asked if Yui could also come along, since the girl could desperately use some time away from the mansion. Lei was more than happy to invite her. And so, Sayo had snuck Yui out without telling any of the brothers. 

Everyone was meeting up at Lei’s house. They would eat an early lunch there before driving out to the cabin. Since there were so many of them, Tetsuo and Hana were each taking their cars to fit everyone. 

“Hey! Sayo!” Someone suddenly called as the two girls continued walking to Lei’s house.

They turned to see Kisa hanging out of her mom’s car window, waving enthusiastically. 

“Hey, Kisa,” Sayo chuckled as the car pulled up beside them. 

Kisa hopped right out, grabbing her bag out from the backseat as her mother lectured her on staying safe while they were on the trip.

“I know, I know, Mom! You know we’ll be fine. Can I go now?” Kisa urged. 

“Troublesome girl,” her mother sighed before chuckling. “Have fun girls.”

The three bid Kisa’s mother goodbye as she drove off. 

“You’re Yui, right?” Kisa turned to her with a grin. “Nice to meetcha! I’m Kisa. Sayo’s told us all about you.”

“U-Um, yes! It’s nice to meet you, Kisa,” Yui smiled back at her. “I’ve heard a lot about you as well.”

“All good things, I know,” Kisa chuckled. “Let’s go! Bet Lei and Emi are waitin’ for us.”

Kisa led the rest of the short way to Lei’s house. Sure enough, Emi was already there. 

“Yui, this is Lei and Emi,” Sayo introduced them once the girls all settled in the living room. 

“It’s nice to meet you two,” Yui smiled. “Sayo talks about all of you so often. Thank you very much for inviting me, Lei.” “Of course,” Lei smiled back. “We’ve been wanting to meet you. I thought it was a great idea when Sayo asked me.”

“And trust me, we both seriously needed the break from our roommates,” Sayo laughed. “Yui more so than me.”

“Who cares!  Ignore them right now  Let’s smile, choose my hand and sing Feel the rhythm with your heart and dance  On this rainy stage, as bright as the scorching light!”

The cabin was a good distance away from the city. By the time they arrived, it was evening. That was perfect for Sayo and Yui. The further they were away from the mansion, the better. They had stopped for supplies and groceries at the closest store, so they put everything away before settling everything into their rooms. There were enough for Tetsuo and Hana to share a room and each girl still have their own room. Kisa and Emi opted to share one despite that. 

Later that night after dinner, the girls were debating what to do. 

“We’re in the middle of the woods! We should do something outdoorsy!” Kisa grinned. 

“In the middle of the night?” Sayo cocked an eyebrow at her.

“There are still things you can do at night! Our options are just…more limited,” she admitted.

“What about setting things on fire?” Lei suggested. 

They all turned to stare at her in bewilderment. That wasn’t something they would have expected from her. 

“Now that I have your undivided attention, there’s a fire pit outside,” she chuckled, explaining her real idea. “We could light it and go hang out. We even have the stuff to make smores.”

“I like that idea!” Emi clapped her hands together with a smile. 

“Hell yeah! Let’s do it!” Kisa shot up, heading to the kitchen to grab the smores kit. 

It didn’t take too long for them to set up the fire pit that was back behind the cabin. There were already lounge chairs around it too, so they were able to relax and make smores once it was done.

“The stars are so beautiful out here,” Sayo marveled as she stared up at the night sky. 

“They really are,” Yui agreed. 

“Aren’t you happy you snuck away?” She grinned cheekily at the girl.

“Y-Yes, I am…” Yui admitted. “I’m glad I came.”

Lei had pulled out her phone earlier, playing music for atmosphere. It was supposed to be a relaxing playlist, but without them realizing it, they had reached the end. The next song that played was simply based on Lei’s music tastes and happened to be an upbeat song called Jitterbug. 

“Now this is more like it!” Kisa laughed, jumping up from her chair. “Come dance with me, Emi!”

“Okay,” Emi giggled, taking Kisa’s outstretched hand. 

“I guess this is the vibe now,” Lei laughed, grabbing her phone so she could play more songs like this afterward before jumping up to dance as well. 

“Let’s dance, Yui,” Sayo grinned as she got up. 

“I…I don’t know how to dance…” her face flushed pink from embarrassment. 

“There’s no right way to dance,” Sayo replied. “Just do whatever you want! None of us are going to judge you. It’s not like we’re professional dancers. We just like music. So come on, dance with me!”

Sayo held out her hand for Yui to take. She hesitated but reached out anyway, allowing Sayo to pull her up. Sayo immediately twirled over to her friends to dance with them, waving for her to follow. Yui watched for a moment. It was true, it did seem like they were just doing whatever they felt like. It seemed like a lot of fun…and she did want to. Yui grabbed Sayo’s hand once more, joining in as they all danced and laughed the night away.

“Who cares!  Ignore those idiots!  Come at nights, Dance and grasp your aspirations I shall dedicate my entire life to you Let’s shine on, like the scorching light!”

[dracoyoflam]

WML Chapter 10: Sleep Deprived

A/N: So beyond sorry that this took SO long to finally be posted. My health has taken a serious decline over the past year or so and my medical stuff just kind of took over. I’m managing all that plus I am a single mom of 4 kiddos. It is a LOT.

Anyway, I don’t want to go too far into what’s been going on with me and why I haven’t been able to write. I just want to say thank you so much to anyone who has stuck with me for this long and thank you all so much for being so patient and understanding.

This story is coming to a close. There will most likely only be 2 or 3 more chapters. At most 4 and that’s stretching it. This was always meant to be a short sweet story that only took a handful of chapters to write and it sort of evolved into something more. Lol

I hope you all enjoy it (despite me being super rusty right now), please comment/review your thoughts. The love really helps inspire!!

Tried to make this a nice long one so.. enjoy!!!

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He pulled her to the middle of the dance floor and pulled her into his arms. They started dancing slowly to the music, never taking their eyes off each other. The way his stormy grey eyes were staring at her, it felt like he could see into her soul.

She swallowed hard and licked her lips. “Why are you looking at me like that?” She asked in almost a whisper.

He smiled at her and pulled her a little closer.

“Like what? How am I supposed to look at you?” He asked playfully.

She grinned back and met his eyes with hers.

“I don’t know and I don’t know.” She said honestly with a small chuckle.

“but you’re looking at me differently.”

He raised an eyebrow at her.

“Shouldn’t I look at you differently?”

He leaned forward and whispered in her ear. “Things are different now.. aren’t they?”

He straightened back up and they continued to dance.

“Yes.” She responded without giving it much thought. It was the truth though and she felt it the moment the word left her lips. Things were different now.

He smirked at her and then turned her around in his arms so her back was against him. He pulled her body tight against his and as they swayed to the music he slipped a hand into the slit of her dress. He slowly traced a finger up her thigh, then stopped and on her bare hip.

He started tracing little circles into her skin and she felt her body starting to respond to his touch.

“Knowing you’re not wearing anything under this dress is driving me crazy. I wish I could take you here and now in front of everyone.”

His hot breath tickled her ear and she had to suppress a moan.

“Already. You’ve already had me ten minutes ago.” She whispered back.

He squeezed her hip and then surprised her by turning her back around in his arms. He leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips before moving his mouth to her ear again and replied, “If it were up to me I would stay inside you forever.”

Her breath caught in her throat and she felt her cheeks flush red. She felt like her body was on fire and melting right there in front of everyone on the dance floor.

He smiled knowingly at her and then started to pull away.

“I, unfortunately, need to deliver a speech now, and then I need to help my mother with a bit of business. It may take some time but don’t leave.”

She nodded at him as he started to pull further away from her. She didn’t want to part from him and without thinking she pulled him back to her. She grabbed the front collar of his jacket and kissed him. His hands went to her hair and pulled slightly as he bit her lip.

He looked at her and smirked again. “I’ll be as quick as I can.. and then... “ He nipped her lip again. “I’m taking you to my bedroom.”

She finally let him go and watched as he walked toward the front of the large room. Her body felt electric. As soon as she started to look away she was surprised by her friend jumping in front of her with a big grin on her face.

“Tell me everything!” She nearly squealed at her.

Hermione laughed at Ginny’s excitement and then pulled her across the room to talk privately.

The party continued for a few more hours. Ginny and Harry had called it a night about thirty minutes ago and at this point, Hermione could feel the exhaustion seeping into her body. She honestly would have left already if it wasn’t for Draco asking her to wait for him. She was sitting alone at a small table towards the back of the room, taking occasional sips of champagne and watching as the large crowd slowly started to dwindle to a few small groups.

“You look exhausted. Still beautiful but exhausted. Ready to call it a night?” Draco surprised her by stepping into her field of vision and holding out a hand.

She smiled up at him and didn’t hesitate to take his hand. She set the flute glass on the table and let him help pull her up to stand next to him.

“Ready.” She smiled at him.

“I’m sorry. That took a lot longer than expected.”

He squeezed her hand in his and then led her out of the large room and through a dark hallway. They walked past the library and multiple closed doors before finally reaching a large dark door at the end of the hall. Draco opened the door and led her inside.

The room was incredibly spacious. There was a giant king-sized four-poster bed with a dark wood frame. The comforter was black with grey and looked soft and thick. The bed had matching dark wooden tables on either side. One had a small dark green and silver lamp, the other had a small stack of books. There was a large desk and chair across the room and next to it was a large glass door that led out to a balcony. Across from that was a huge wardrobe with what she guessed had many dark-colored outfits and suits.

Next to that was an open door that led to a bathroom and next to that door, in the corner of the room was a large dark leather chair with a small table and lamp next to it. Behind the chair, there was a bookcase built into the wall that was completely filled with books. Then, next to that and the door she had just walked through was a small tea cart.

She must have been silent for too long because he tugged gently on her hand and laughed softly as she was shaken from her reverie. The room was immaculate and everything that she would want if she had the resources.

“This is your bedroom?” She asked in shock as she slowly walked further into the room.

Draco walked over to his wardrobe and fished around until he finally produced what he had been looking for. He laid a pair of thin pajama pants on the end of the bed and then handed her a dark t-shirt.

“For you to sleep in.” He said simply and then turned back towards the bed.

He started to undress and she took that as a hint to do the same. She slipped out of the dress and pulled the shirt over her head. She still felt a bit naked, considering she was missing her undergarments now. She pulled the hem of the shirt down as far as it would go and thankfully it reached to her thighs at least and didn’t leave her totally exposed.

Hermione glanced at him undressing and decided now was the best time to steal a minute in the restroom. She went in and relieved her full bladder before turning on the hot water in the sink and let it run for a minute. She washed her hands and then splashed some water onto her face.

She felt nervous all over again. She took a few deep breaths as the water dripped off her chin. She looked at herself in the mirror and was a little surprised as she actually smiled at herself. She was happy. Nervous yes but also very happy.

She couldn’t remember the last time she had felt like this.

She pat her face dry and dried her hands before finally walking back into the bedroom. Draco was sitting at the end of the bed wearing nothing but thin grey pajama pants.

“I wasn’t sure which side of the bed you would prefer so I waited for you.” He said as he motioned behind him at the bed.

“Oh. Um, left will do fine.” She responded quickly.

He grinned at her and she thought that maybe he could hear the nerves leaking into her voice. He turned and climbed to the top of the bed and pulled the covers back. He slid under and held up the side for her to join him.

She got into the bed and under the covers with him. He tucked the comforter around her and she actually sighed audibly at how comfortable the bed and blankets were.

“Like it huh?” He asked and let out a small chuckle at her response.

“This is heaven.” She sighed again and snuggled further into the bed.

He pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her body. He snuggled his face against her neck and gave her a quick peck.

“Goodnight.” He whispered and then quickly reached across her to flip the lamp off. The room was dark except for the bright moonlight filtering in through the large glass door.

She was surprised that he was calling it a night. She expected some late-night extracurriculars with him. She wasn’t disappointed though because she was so tired. She really needed the rest and was grateful that apparently, he did too. As she lay there in his arms, she felt more comfort and more caring from him than she had felt from Ron in a very long time.

That thought made her eyes watery and she had to fight to keep the tears from falling. She realized more than ever at that moment that her marriage really had been over for years. The fact that she hadn’t seen it sooner made her feel stupid. As the dark thoughts started to take over, she felt Draco snuggle even closer and sigh quietly as he started to drift off to sleep.

She smiled.

What was the point in drowning in sadness over something that is long over when she has something better right here with her? She needed to start focusing on the here and now and start taking him and his feeling seriously… whatever feelings he may or may not be having. She intertwined her fingers through his and finally gave in to her exhaustion.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Hermione felt herself jolt awake. She still had trouble sleeping sometimes after the war. She never quite remembered what the dreams or nightmares were actually about. She just knew that whatever it was would scare her awake in the middle of the night.

“It’s okay.” She heard his voice was thick from just being asleep.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered back.

She rolled onto her back and looked at him as he lay on his side, his arm still falling restfully across her abdomen.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about.” He said quietly, never opening his eyes.

“I’m sorry I woke you.” She responded.

He grumbled a little and rubbed her arm reassuringly.

“I know but you don’t have to be sorry. I don’t mind. Try to get some more sleep if you can.” He kissed her shoulder.

Hermione almost felt like bursting into tears. She grinned dumbly in the dark. She had never felt so reassured. Whenever she accidentally woke Ron, he would practically push her out of the bed and roll back over to sleep.

She turned her body to face him. She rubbed her nose softly against his and then gave him a small kiss. Their lips were only together for a moment but she felt tingles run down her spine at the contact.

Hermione leaned her head forward and whispered against his ear, “maybe I don’t want to go back to sleep.”

She pulled back and saw that he had finally opened his eyes. He smirked at her.

“What is it you want then?” He asked as he started drawing circles on her lower back.

She didn’t hesitate. She rolled them over and climbed on top of him. He was now on his back with her straddling his hips. She leaned down and whispered in his ear again.

“I want you.” She paused to bite his earlobe. “I want you inside of me.”

She bit his ear again and then started to lick and suck on his neck as she made her way down to his chest. She sat up and was pleased to see the dark sultry look on his face.

He cleared his throat and then smirked at her again. “I think we can make that happen.”

He trailed his fingers up her thighs, under the shirt, and grabbed her hips tight with both hands. This sent a shock through her body and she felt herself getting wetter. Her core was starting to throb with wanting.

She started to roll her hips back and forth to rub her center against his growing erection. She could feel that his hands weren’t controlling her movements at all but rather squeezing and rubbing in appreciation. She had all the control right now.

The idea of her having control sexually and having it with Malfoy made her shiver. She moved slowly over his hard member, hitting her clit every time she pulled back against him. She wanted to take her time with him and really enjoy it. Their quickie in the library had been amazing but this time she wanted more connection and she wanted the pleasure to last longer for both of them.

She lifted her hips so she could reach between them and pull the front of his pants down and away. She was done with having a barrier and wanted all of him.

She slipped the material down his thighs and let it pool at his knees. She leaned forward slightly as she reached between them to grab his cock. He was fully hard and ready for her now. She gave it a few soft pumps before slowly lowering herself.

She lined them up perfectly and let out a breathy moan as he entered her. She was so wet that there was no resistance and he slid in easily. She felt his fingers dig slightly into her hips as he responded to the feeling of being inside of her.

They locked eyes and she let a small smirk cover her lips as she started to slowly move up and down, pulling him deep inside her. They both started panting and letting out little moans and groans of pleasure as she continued to slowly ride him.

She paused for a moment to pull the shirt over her head and toss it across the room. She watched as his gaze became more intense and grunted as she came down on him again.

She felt excited and free. Watching him as she pleased him was so intense it almost made her cum at the thought of it. Her body was on fire and they were burning together.

She slid him deep inside her and rolled her hips. She was starting to feel that familiar pressure building down deep inside of her.

He must have sensed it because he decided to change things up. He sat up and wrapped his arms around her body. She adjusted quickly to the new position and wrapped her arms around his neck which gave her leverage to slide herself higher on him and slam harder with each thrust.

She felt his hands go back to her hips but this time he didn’t leave them sitting idle. He grabbed tight on each side and started to pull her down harder with every thrust, resulting in a slow but hard and deep rhythm.

Their bodies were rubbing together and she felt her clit rubbing against him every time she slammed her body down on his.

“Ah god…” She whimpered and let her head fall forward onto his shoulder.

They were grunting and panting as she rode him. She could feel her body coming undone and knew that she would only last a few more thrusts.

“Cum with me Draco.” She moaned and bit his neck as she slammed down on him again.

His grip tighten more on her hips, digging into her flesh but she didn’t care. He let out another grunt and then moaned with her as they held on for dear life. They frantically fucked each other as she brought her body down on his again and again.

She finally picked up the pace and slammed down on him one last time as they both climaxed. She moaned loudly and bit onto his shoulder to keep from screaming too loud. He moaned with her and she felt his hot seed shoot deep inside her. Their bodies tensed and jolted with orgasm and she paused as her walls tightened around him, draining every drop of him.

Hermione released her bite on his shoulder but didn’t move. She turned her head to lay on his shoulder and kissed his neck as they both held each other, panting and trying to catch their breath.

Draco loosened his tight hold on her hips and wrapped his arms around her body. They stayed this way, holding tight to each other for what felt like a very long time before either of them finally decided to break the silence.

Once she knew she had caught her breath and could speak again, she whispered to him. “I’ve never felt anything like this.”

He pulled back slightly to look at her. He sat her up, keeping their bodies together but now looking at each other. He gently placed a hand against her jaw, tangling his fingers in her hair and using his thumb to rub her cheek.

“That’s because you weren’t with the right person.”

Then he made sure to look her deep in the eyes.

“But you are now.”

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A/N 2: Thank you for reading. Please comment/review to let me know your thoughts on the chapter or story so far.

The next chapter preview will be posted here: dracoyoflam.tumblr.com

[mixsethaddams]

Extract from chapter 4 of crushcrushcrush. Read now on ao3.

WIP, 24684 words, rated M, Steve/Eddie

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Hawkins High senior prom in 2012 was nothing special to most of the people there.

Sure, they were all excited to graduate and go off to college, but it was just another big party. The punch was spiked to all hell, there were girls crying off their lashes in the bathrooms, and there were boys wrestling in the middle of the dance floor. Typical teenage shit. They all thought they were so grown up, and the racks of everyone’s baby pictures made them all feel so much older. The theme was ‘How Far We’ve Come’ and the prom committee had bullied everyone’s parents into handing over childhood photos to display outside the gymnasium in the school courtyard for the event. They were hung with clothes pegs onto string lights, wrapped around room dividers that usually got used to keep people away from half-finish projects in the art rooms.

Steve was standing in front of the pictures now, seeking out his friends’ faces. Everyone else was still inside so he could stand and look for as long as he wanted without needing to move. Tommy Hagan had pointed to his when they passed by earlier, but Steve’s mom said he needed glasses because he couldn’t focus on the tv lately, and as he struggled to see any of the faces in front of him he couldn’t help but agree. He did consider for a second that it might be down to the punch though, it was like rocket fuel with the amount of peach schnapps and bourbon that was dumped into it the second the music started. He took a step closer to the display and squinted, finding it hard to even find his own face in the low light of the surrounding exhibit. Steve found Tommy’s eventually, and then Carol’s, but he was getting a headache now from the strain. As he away with a step backwards, he sighed loudly into the quiet courtyard, rubbing his hand over his face.

“Rough night?”

Steve jumped at the unexpected company as Eddie came to stand beside him. They hadn’t really spoken to each other during their senior year. Steve thought that maybe it was last year that they had last said anything to each other. His stomach swooped at the thought. He watched as Eddie looked over the pictures in front of them. Steve thought he looked great. A black shirt with no tie under a loose blazer with ripped jeans might have looked messy on anyone else, but Eddie’s purposeful underdressing for the prom looked perfect. Beautiful, even. He was wearing a cologne that smelled of something vaguely familiar. Steve couldn’t quite place it but he had some distant memory of it that his mind just couldn’t quite get hold of. Their arms were close, and Steve felt the urge to lift his hand and grasp Eddie’s sleeve. He pushed the feeling away.

“Where’s yours?” asked Eddie, turning his head look at Steve for the first time.

Steve sighed again, casting another look over the pictures.

“I dunno, honestly,” he said, forcing lightness into his voice, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Can’t see for shit, I guess I really do need glasses,”

Eddie hummed for a second and nodded, drawing his lips into a tight look of consideration. He looked along the lines of photos and then flicked his finger against a picture just to the left of Steve’s eyeline.

“I’ve been telling you that since we were kids. You’re right there,” he said before shifting his gaze to the rest of them. “Now, where am I…”

“How did you–?”

The picture was of Steve at no more than two years old, sitting on his living room floor and covered in a Sesame Street blanket. Now that it had been pointed out to him, it’s position was obvious, even if the edges were still a little blurry.

“Your dad showed it to me once,” explained Eddie, still looking for his own picture. “Oh my god, this is what Wayne gave them?”

Eddie laughed as he plucked his picture from its peg high up on the top row and held it close to them for Steve to see. The two boys, dressed as donkeys, were smiling wide during Miss Tilly’s nativity play. Eddie leaned sideways to knock their shoulders together as they looked down at it. Steve took his hand out of his pocket and hold the other corner of the photo.

“Oh my god,” echoed Steve, smiling at the memory. “At least it wasn’t the one of us dressed like SpongeBob and Patrick for Halloween I guess. Do you even remember this play?”

Eddie pressed their arms close together again and this time held the contact.

“I remember us asking why we had to stand all the way in the back,” he said with a grin, looking at Steve. “We thought we were the stars of that show, man,”

Steve laughed now. Their poor teacher had been followed around by the two of them for weeks having to explain why the donkeys wouldn’t be at the very front.

“But Mary and Joseph knew the donkeys! The other people were all strangers!”

“Uh huh, uh huh, they were way better friends with them, they’d want them to see their baby before anyone else,”

“Boys please go back to your seats,”

“Which was funny because she wouldn’t let us dress as stars either,” said Steve. “Samantha Conners and Sara Bright got to do that, remember?”

“Remember?” asked Eddie with mock offence. “I’m still holding tight to that grudge, they couldn’t ever sparkle like us,”

Eddie’s pinky finger had moved the small distance across the back of the piece of card in their hands and rubbed against Steve’s. His stomach flipped at the unexpected sensation but now Eddie pulled his hand away entirely, leaving Steve holding the picture by himself. Eddie put his hands on the top of his head and spin into a messy little pirouette. He finished by holding his arms wide when he came to a stop and wiggling his fingers. Steve put a hand to his mouth and giggled when Eddie spat out the hair that had gotten into his mouth. He hadn’t giggled in a long time. No one was able to make him laugh like Eddie. Eddie gave a small bow and rolled his hands in a circle as he did so.

“So Boston, huh?” asked Eddie, standing up straight and putting his hands into his back pockets. He rocking back onto one leg, turning to face Steve properly now. “School paper says you’ll be coaching college varsity teams by the time you’re 25,”

Steve was caught off guard by the question. He had half been ignoring the fact that he was leaving in a few months. Early acceptance was great and everyone said it gave him a better chance to get his head around the idea of leaving, but Steve had found that it just gave him more time to think about what he wasn’t bringing with him. Who he was leaving behind.

“Boston, yeah,” said Steve looking at the bottom row of the display next to him. He slipped the picture in his hand into his suit jacket pocket, as if he was trying to pin the memory to his heart. “Not sure about the coaching thing but, yeah…”

“You excited?” asked Eddie. He took a step towards Steve and ducked his head to try meet his gaze.

Lying was something that Steve could never do when it came to Eddie. He was always compelled to tell him exactly what was going on in his head. Maybe it was because Eddie had trusted him with all his own secrets that Steve never felt the need to put up any boundaries of his own. So, was he excited to go to Boston?

“No,” said Steve admitted with a strained smile, feeling the corners of his eyes starting to prickle. “I’m terrified,”

[irishhills]

what's right and what is wrong

When Chris doesn’t come home for dinner, Amy briefly worries that he’s running away from home. Then she remembers that was kind of the idea. Then she feels really bad about it. With every twirl of her spaghetti, she contradicts herself.

She looks around the table. There’s Dad at the head, napkin like an ascot, the way he’s convinced you’re supposed to eat when you’re rich. He talks a lot about being new money and what it means to pretend. Amy doesn’t really get it. Dad says it’s because she’s older money, thanks to him. She thinks it’s all just life.

“So,” Dad says, “did the homecoming court nominations come out today?”

Amy nods. Just like Dad to know exactly when the homecoming court nominations come out. A long time ago, he also went to St. Elizabeth, and he was the homecoming king of his senior class. He tells that story a lot. Amy always liked the parts about the girls in their snowy white ball gowns. She could see them clear as day.

“I’m in the running for junior homecoming prince,” Luke says.

“That’s great, Luke!” Dad says. “I loved when they added the princes and princesses for the underclassmen. Really gives a lot of people a lot of chances to feel really important.”

“Important?” Mom asks from the other end of the table.

Dad looks at her like he can’t believe the audacity.

“Yes,” he says coolly. “Important.”

Mom shrugs and twirls another heap of spaghetti around her fork. She does not take her eyes off Dad at the other end of the dining room table.

“I was nominated for sophomore homecoming princess,” Amy says.

“Hey!” Dad says. “Way to go, Ame.”

He points his fork in Jane’s direction, and she turns stark white.

“Who knows?” he asks. “Janie, in a couple years, that could be you. Sophomore homecoming princess. Wouldn’t that be something else? Three of my four kids, homecoming royalty, just like their old man.”

Jane clears her throat, and Amy wonders if she’d be better off floating in the ether, absolutely without a body.

“Well,” Jane says, “I don’t know what’s going to happen, but it’s very possible all four of your kids could be homecoming royalty, Dad.”

Dad laughs.

“Yeah, right,” he says. “Look, if Chris were interested in things like school dances, I’m sure people would love to put him on the homecoming court. He’s a good-looking kid. Smart. Sense of humor. But if he’s just going to spend all his time making up stories with his friends …”

“Chris is on the homecoming court, Dad.”

Mom and Dad look at each other like they just woke up in a parallel universe where everything is simultaneously better and worse.

“He’s what?” Mom asks.

“You heard me,” Jane says. “Chris is on the homecoming court. People voted for him, and he’s in the running. We all saw it in church today.”

Mom puts her face in her hands, probably also thinking about disappearing. Amy, despite not wanting to, understands her perfectly well. Of all the Egan kids, Chris is somehow the most like Avery – uninterested in popularity, rituals, and competition. He’s the first one to agree that school dances are lame, and women shouldn’t have to change their last names when they get married if they don’t want to. He’s so much like Mom, and he’s not even her son.

Dad, somehow, catches on. He turns his head to the left and looks straight at Amy.

“What did you do?”

“Why does everyone assume it’s because of me?” Amy asks.

“Because we know Chris didn’t campaign for himself.”

“Of course he didn’t,” Mom says. “He’s too smart for that.”

“Gee, Mom. Thanks for calling Luke and me dumb.”

“Your mother didn’t say that.”

“Yeah, but it’s what she didn’t say. Sometimes, that’s more important. You wanna know how I know that? Because I’m smart, and before Chris showed up in my Honors English class, our teacher used to use my papers as examples, not his.”

She folds her arms across her chest and slumps in her chair. Spaghetti doesn’t sound so good anymore, if it ever did.

“Amy,” Mom says, “I’m sorry for what I implied. I don’t think anyone in this family is dumb, no matter what they’re interested in. If you suddenly became very interested in the life and times of Edgar Degas, I wouldn’t think you were any smarter than you are right now.”

Amy stares at her mother. For someone with so much training, so much experience dealing with people who just entered clueless adulthood, Avery Egan is a damn fool.

“None of this answers why she nominated Chris for the homecoming court,” Dad says.

“I didn’t nominate him,” Amy says. “The student body did.”

“Yes, and with your influence.”

Amy rolls her eyes.

“I just wanted to make him feel embarrassed for a minute,” she says. “It’s embarrassing when our teachers prefer his work to mine. Like I don’t even exist. I just wanted him to feel that way for a minute.”

“Amy, I’m sorry things are different in school now that Chris is in more of your classes,” Mom says. “But you know school’s always been hard for him. He’s always had so much trouble fitting in with the other kids.”

“Yeah, it was a real blessing when the Donnellys transferred Blair to St. Elizabeth back in fourth grade,” Dad says. “I don’t know what Chris would be without that.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t consider his entire social history before I did what I did,” Amy says. “But I’m not the one who turned it into a bet.”

“A bet?” Mom asks.

“A terrible bet,” Jane says.

“The worst,” Luke agrees. “Chris loses no matter what happens in it.”

“What’s the bet?” Dad asks.

“Well, I said Chris would never win,” Amy says, “but I said that if I was wrong, and he did … I would give up any and all rights to the Galaxie when both of us turn sixteen.”

“And you’d drive what? My car?”

“I hadn’t worked it out. Plus, that’s not going to happen. Chris was only supposed to be nominated, not win. People won’t vote for him a second time if I tell them not to.”

She takes a deep breath. Has anyone else ever felt drunk on the power of their own words before? Their own place in a stupid, arbitrary hierarchy that will mean nothing in three years? She’d ask, but she’s too afraid to find out she is, in fact, the only one.

“What do you get if Chris loses, Amy?” Mom asks.

“Not if, Mom,” Luke says. “When, which is why what Amy wagered is evil.”

“He didn’t have to accept it!” Amy says.

“But he did,” Jane says. “He must be dumber than any of us thought.”

“Jane, don’t call your brother dumb,” Dad says. “Even when he’s not here.”

“Will someone tell me what happens when Chris loses?” Mom asks.

“If he loses,” Amy says, “he has to drop out of the honors classes and leave me alone at school for the rest of forever.”

Mom and Dad stare at her like she’s the devil. And maybe she is.

“Oh, Amy,” Mom says. “That’s terrible.”

“That’s what I said, Mom,” Luke says. “Chris loves those honors classes, even if he pretends like it’s better to slack off.”

“Has anyone noticed we’ve spent this entire dinner talking about Chris, and he’s not even here?” Amy asks. “Shouldn’t that tell you something about the way I feel? Like … shit, Mom, I’m your daughter, and you’d rather talk about him. He’s not even your real son!”

Despite her mother’s pleas for her to sit down, Amy throws her napkin down on her plate and storms upstairs to her room. She throws on her stereo as loud as it can go, only caring a little that she’s disturbing dinner, and Mom and Dad will be angry with her for it later. Right now, it’s not about that. Right now, it’s about making them pay so much attention to her, they forget Chris even exists.

And wouldn’t life be better if she didn’t have to pretend to be a twin? If she didn’t have to answer why they have different birthdays, why their eyes don’t look the same, why they don’t have that twin telepathy that real twins are supposed to have? Being Chris’s sister is like being in prison. They never should have had to find out about him. Better yet, Dad never should have stepped out on Mom and made him. The whole world would be better if it was just Amy.

Except it wouldn’t have been. A part of her misses those times when she and Chris got along, when they liked each other, when she didn’t feel like he was … whatever he is. There was a time when they did not compete. Now, it’s the only reason Amy pays any attention to him. Just to look better. Just to be better.

Why did she want to embarrass him? Sure, he embarrasses her by virtue of being a false twin, a nerd, a clumsy kid who often falls down the hallway rather than walks down it. But Amy shouldn’t have wanted to hurt him. He didn’t ask to be born, and he certainly didn’t ask to be adopted. But when everyone had to read his paper in English class, and when Eliza Murphy decided she’d rather be Chris’s friend than Amy’s, nothing mattered anymore. Nothing but Amy’s revenge.

Maybe some of this is about Emmett Mulaney dragging his feet and not asking her to the dance. He’s probably mad that he lost his place on the homecoming court to play a trick on Chris, but after this summer, Amy feels like it shouldn’t matter. She was there this summer, and what they had … there were times when she truly thought he was better than the bullshit.

She still believes he’s better than the bullshit. After all, so is she, and they should be together now. They have to be together now.

Amy closes her eyes and tries to fall asleep. Pure Prairie League is too loud.

Amie, what you wanna do? / I think I could stay with you / For a while, maybe longer if I do …

It almost makes her smile, but really, it just makes her very sad. When Mom was pregnant, she and Dad knew that if they were having a girl, her name should be Amy. Mom wanted to spell it A-M-I-E, just like this song, a great song, even if it is kind of country. But Dad, a perennial fan of Elton John who always seems to forget Elton John is gay, wanted to name her after the song from Honky Chateau. They flipped for it, and Dad won. A-M-Y.

How dare her father sit around and have such sweet conversations about her name when somewhere, somehow, he must have known he knocked up another woman? How dare he? Was Amy not enough? Even the idea of her? Was he looking to have another son because heaven forbid he had a daughter instead? Would she have been enough if she were Chris all along?

Her questions don’t make sense, except for the fact that they do.

She closes her eyes again. The song mellows, and Amy can finally rest.

[crimsonmoonlite]

Loser. - Jacob Black X Mike Newton X Edward Cullen - 18+ MPreg - 7. Double Escorted

Sorry about the delay!!!

Benjamin: 203, Rami Malek

February 14th, 2006 6:05 PM    Eric's parents took forever to take pictures of him and Mike when they were about to leave to get the girls. They were the only people who knew and supported Mike's plan. They invited him to stay in the guest room if his parents kicked him out. Mike was nervous because his parents were chaperones and wanted to ensure no one would get pregnant.

   "Okay, now kiss," Eric's father said, and the boys widened their eyes.

   "Oh, come on, just for one picture," Eric's mother begged. While Mike loved that Eric's parents were so supportive, he still hadn't considered kissing his best friend. They looked at each other with the same disgust and pecked each other to shut up the Yorkies.

   "Oh, come on, that isn't a kiss," Jacob let himself into the backyard, startling the parents, but they realized who he was when he made out with Mike.

   "Awe," Eric's mother cooed, snapping a photo before Mike shyly pulled away. Eric looked up at him, starstruck after everything Mike had told him.

   "What are you doing here?" Mike asked as he had accepted that Jake promised to protect Bella.

   "I need to talk to you without them,"

   "Got to go, Mom and Dad, no more pictures, please,"

   "Sex time?" Eric's mom asked.

   "Ew! Gross, Mom!" He plugged his ears as his father pinched his mother's butt, and they ran inside. They walked to the garage where Edward and Bella were with two strangers.

   "Eric, could you give us a moment?" Bella asked as Edward glared at the boy.

   "He knows," Edward muttered, and Jacob shrugged; he told Mike that he could tell him.

   "What? He is my best friend," Mike whined and then raised his eyebrow when Eric hugged Edward. The Vampire growled but froze.

   "You saved my best friend," Eric smiled goofy.

   "Yeah, yeah, whatever," Edward nudged him away.

   "Do you prefer squirrels or rats? Oh! Do you drain them, or do you eat them," Eric asked, and Edward growled in his face to shut up. Jacob chuckled as Eric was innocently insulting the bloodsucker.

   "Baby... I'm sorry that I can't take you to your dance... but we wanted you to be protected, so Embry is going to escort you to the dance," Jacob spoke before Edward could, kissing his boyfriend again. Bella cringed at the kiss. She wasn't used to Jacob liking anyone else. She turned to the side to see Edward's friend observing her. She looked down at her feet. Edward cleared his throat for him to finish, "Oh... and this stupid bloodsucker is tagging along."

   "What is the square root of 144, numbskull" Ben smirked

   "Square root of... 2? Your fucking decapitated head, Tick," Jacob said, and Ben was satisfied with just being smarter than Jacob

   "This is Ben. He is a friend of our coven visiting from Egypt."

   "You came from Egypt to escort us to the dance?" Eric asked.

   "No, it is my 150th Anniversary with my wife. We were visiting the Coven in Denali when Edward texted me," Ben spoke.

   "You left your anniversary to escort me to the dance?"

   "And all that comes with it," Ben winked, and Jacob growled possessively. Their Anniversary was last month. Tia was having fun with the girls of the Denali Pack while Ben helped out here.

   "We have to go..." Edward told Jacob, and the wolf squeezed Mike's hand.

   "Listen to Embry, okay?" Jacob cupped his face and kissed his lip as he nodded.

   "Listen to Ben too... he is 200, and thats because he has survival skills," Edward said, and the three walked off to the Volvo with Edward and Jacob arguing.

   "I'm driving..." Embry said, holding out his hand toward Eric for the keys. Ben smiled at Mike, opening the passenger door for him. He helped him into the Hummer, placing his hand on the small of Mike's back for 'support.'

------- 9:10 PM    Benjamin was helping a lot with Mike's plan. He thought he would somehow rig the vote box, but the Vampire was going around and compelling everyone to vote for him.

   Mike was sitting on the bleachers, propping his head up with his hands. Ben was done compelling the entire gymnasium of students to vote for Mike. He wasn't even a nominee, so that it would be a surprise. The Vampire was taking the job seriously as he was standing beside him like a bodyguard. Embry was lying down on the bleachers beside Mike, playing his DS.

   Mike looked up at Ben as the Vampire smiled and pointed at dimples for Mike to cheer up. "What's up?" Ben sat down as Mike forced a small smile.

   "I am worried about Jacob," Mike sighed, and Embry raised his eyebrows.

   "He is stronger than Sam... he will be able to protect Bella and him," Embry shrugged, confident in his friend. He looked up to see Mike's frown and reached up to pat Mike on the head, not knowing how to make him feel better.

   Ben observed Mike looking around, a little nervous, "You are worried about the Seattle Vampires coming after you again." he asked. Embry shut his game and sat up, knowing this was what was wrong with Mike.

   Jacob told him everything about when they returned to Forks the other day since Bella had been back here. Mike assumed that the red-headed woman with Riley at the restaurant was Victoria. "He said he would be back for me... and I know I can conceive with vampires. They have the motive to take me away," Mike said, hugging himself.

   Embry was about to tell him he was safe because they were watching him, but Ben shook his head. He knew they couldn't say anything to make Mike feel better unless Jacob was here himself. Ben stood up and held out his hand for Mike to take, "Come on, let's go dance... it is a dance after all," he asked, and the wolf glared at him. "They are playing Smash Mouth... not Enrique Iglesias." He rolled his eyes.

   Embry followed Mike and Ben over to his friends to dance with them. He didn't trust Ben alone with the Omega. In the corner of his eyes, Mike could see his parents looking judgmentally at him for having fun and dancing with other boys, even if it wasn't romantic. Mike was more ready than ever to carry out his plan. He glared back at them as they came over to break them up. His eyes told them he would make a scene if that happened. He was always a good boy. It was healthy for a little rebellion.

   They danced a couple more songs before some teachers announced the Winter Formal royalty. Most people clapped when they called Mike Newton's name since they were compelled, but his friends were shocked. Mike had also asked Ben to compel people to vote for Angela because she was a good friend to him. She wasn't a nominee either, so everyone was shocked. Jessica and Lauren scoffed, not believing it as much as Angela was shocked.

   "Is this a Carrie thing?" Angela whispered to Mike as they were being crowned. He smiled and shook his head. A time came for them to make a small speech. The yearbook photography club tried to take pictures without Jessica glaring at the two in the background. Mike looked around for Eric and smiled as he climbed onto the stage. Angela raised her eyebrow, but everyone was shocked when Eric and Mike made out.

   "Fuck you, Mom and Dad! I am gay!" Mike flipped off his parents as Angela hugged him for support before the first dance. Mike wished that Jacob was there... but today would be the best day in a long time for him.

------- February 15th, 2006 5:29 AM    Embry, Ben, and Eric played Mortal Kombat while Mike tried sleeping in Eric's bed, exhausted from dancing and getting drunk at the after-party and Angela's house. He could feel Jacob's anger and adrenaline as he fought all the newborns. He didn't know what was happening but felt his mate's relief.

   "Is it over?" Mike asked Embry and Ben. The wolf could feel more of his pack member's emotions, and Ben could hear.

   "I think so," Embry said, and Mike smiled, which made Eric smile. He was a little scared for his friend, who seemed catatonic all night.

   Mike smiled as Jake promised that he would come to see him immediately after the fight was done. He hopped up, bouncing on his steps to the bathroom to brush his teeth so they could make out. "Do you guys want anything to drink?" Mike looked at Ben, and they raised their eyes, "There are mice in the basement,"

   "You got jokes, huh," Ben mumbled as he was thirsty, and the two others laughed at him. He heard talking in the room and poked his head out, seeing the Cullens.

   "Is it done? Did anyone get hurt or die?" Mike asked, running into the room, seeing they were a little gloomy but always gloomy.

   "No on our end. Just this little girl on the newborn side, the Volturi killed her," Edward sighed.

   "What?" Mike said after Edward looked at his siblings.

   "Victoria is dead... but Riley got away, the Seattle vampire," Emmett said after the Cullens debated themselves. "Seth had him in his grips, but he retreated from the fight," he sighed, seeing that Mike was visibly upset.

   "Okay..." Mike looked down as Eric hopped up and comforted him. "Where is Jacob?"

   "He is taking Bella home. She is telling him that we are getting married," Edward said, and even some of the siblings looked surprised as he didn't run it by them. Emmett patted him on the back and smiled as if he would finally have a mate/spouse after so many years.

   "He said he would come straight to me after-" Mike said, but in that second, he felt his heart shattering. Mates have different relationships and boundaries depending on the pair. Mike had clarified his jealousy to Jacob, but he was crossing that boundary.

   "What? What's wrong?" Ben saw the heartbreak in his eyes as everyone approached him. This could have also been something to do with his bite from Riley.

   "He is fucking her," he nearly growled, and they raised their eyebrows. "Jacob is fucking Bella... I can feel it," he glared up to Edward.

   "No... that can't be," Edward laughed it off... but he couldn't shake it off, so he hopped out the window to find them.

   "We better go after him before he kills both of them," Rosalie muttered as she knew the kind of girl that Bella was, and she let herself think she was wrong. Jasper and Alice followed her as Embry rushed to defend his alpha.

   "Mike..." Eric said, but Mike was catatonic now, staring off into the distance. Please Vote, Comment, Add to your lists, and share this story with a friend:). I am unsure when the next chapter will be up, so please be patient.

AO3

Wattpad

[survey--s]

512.

What do you really think about where you live? I love the location - right by the beach and surrounded by amazing countryside, but I do wish there was more to do here without having to drive 45 minutes in any direction, lol.

Relationship status? Married.

Is anyone’s smile etched into your memory? No, not especially.

Your mom tells you she’s pregnant, you say? Well, she went through menopause about a decade ago and she’ll be 65 in a month, so I’d be genuinely horrified lol.

When was the last time you actually wrote someone a letter? I wrote Susie a note today when I finished sorting her dogs.

Have you kissed anyone in the past 27 days? Yeah. That’s a very precise number, lol.

Last person you shared food with? Mike.

Have you been a happy, angry, or sad person lately? Happy, for the most part.

How long did your shortest relationship last? Aside from silly ones in school that lasted a couple of weeks, about three months.

Has there been anyone particular on your mind at all today? Yeah, Susie as both her dogs had problems today lol. Guy is limping and won’t weight-bear on one foot, and then Pixie had the shits.

Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants? Leggings.

Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you? Of course.

Do you need to say anything to someone? No.

Do you think before you speak? Sometimes.

What was the last movie you watched? Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. The extended edition DVD.

Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms? Yeah.

When was the last time you wore a dress? Yesterday.

What’s the last thing you put in your mouth? Pepsi Max.

Is it easy for someone to make you smile/laugh? Yes, most definitely.

How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? Two. My husband and my dad.

When was the last time you laid in bed with someone else? This morning before I got up.

What’s something you remember about kindergarten? Playing with the rabbits and guinea pigs.

Plans for this week? I’m working Tuesday-Friday (today is a Bank Holiday) and then next weekend is another Bank Holiday for the coronation so I have another three days off - no plans of yet, though.

Is there a person you talk to everyday with?: Aside from my husband, no.

Does one of your parents ever complain to you about the other parent?: Hahah oh yes. Not really in a negative, nasty way though - just my dad is quite...set in his ways even though those ways aren’t necessarily logical lol.

If you have a webcam, do you take more pictures or make more videos with it?: I only ever use it for FaceTime.

When was the last time you felt lonely?: I genuinely don’t remember - I rarely ever feel that way.

Who was the last person you wished a “Happy Birthday” to?: Linnet, I think.

What was the last food/drink that dyed your tongue a different color?: I can’t remember, probably some sweets or something.

Is there any upcoming festivals happening in the place you live?: No.

When was the last time you threw a party?: I honestly don’t remember. I don’t do parties, lol.

Does your best friend have a job?: He’s a plasterer/tiler and always has been. He’s worked since he was fourteen.

Have you ever sat in your room in the dark?: Yeah.

Do you usually take home leftovers if you eat out in a restaurant?: If there’s a decent amount left, sure.

Have you ever ghost ride the whip (put your car on auto and dance next to it as it’s moving)? Do you want to?: No, is that even a thing here? Even if it was, I drive a manual car lol.

What are you listening to? The Big Bang Theory but it’s just background noise.

Name a quote from the thing you are listening to? Bazinga.

What does your last text say? “I’ll take a look - thank you xx” from Susie.

Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? No.

Last missed call? I think it was just an unknown number.

Last person you talked on the phone with? My mum.

Do you like vitamin water? No. I tried it once and it just tasted really bland and weird.

Have you ever hated someone, but ended up being friends with them? No.

What do you think of people who have sex before marriage? I think they’re very sensible.

Are you more independent or dependent? Independent.

Do you believe that what comes around goes around? It’s a really nice idea, but no.

Where is one place you want to visit? Japan.

Are you pissed off about anything? No.

[maugurim3]

deathly hollows

Mommy why did daddy leave us alone flower cries. He did it to protect us you see Reggie grew up in a horrible family. His mother and dad were mentally unstable due to inbreeding . This caused them to hurt your daddy growing up. Uncle sirius left your father without saying good bye believing your daddy was the better son. He was killed by voldmorts inferi undead creatures. Why was my daddy's life so tragic she sobbed in her mothers arms

"He loved you and I and respected kreacher and yes he followed noiseless but he did a 180 when he saw how he viewed him and the other death eaters. They think that they are all his friends ,girlfriends etc but in reality they are just pawns. He also did it to save me as I am a wolf fairy so in wizard terms a halfblood. He loved you sooooo much more than anyone and anything .

My brother was evil sirius said as he walked into the room. Flower go ride lighta I'm sure she'd love it. Flower tells her daughter as she grabs her old ridding gear. Bye mommy she says before going to Reggie old room. Your brother was broken sirius and you are a selfish bratty spoiled swag. She yells at sirius holding her wand . Incanturio flower says as she lifts her wand to her forehead .

Flashback warning

flashback 1

Hey Reggie hey blue eyes you look pretty . Thank you Misure black . Sorry I am bad at French. 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 that's okay me too. So wanna go to the fall festival with me regulus. Yes that be lovely blue eyes.

flashback 2

Oh my gosh is blue eyes and your brother dancing. I can't believe it my brother with a beauty who knew. I love you regulus and I you blue eyes.

Flashback3

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa you should have won boy. I'm sorry I'll try harder father . Regulus oh this is why you lost . Reggie tried his best Mr Orion and its just a game . Crying regulus on the floor. Leave Mr black or I'll tell Dumbledore what you have done. Fineeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee he says before scrambling like a shrew. Shhh it's okay love .

Flashback 4

Welcome regulus we saved you a seat. Bring in ms fang Pettigrew. Blue eyes sit cusin Bellatrix back off . Master let My fiancé go now . If you do then I will officially join you. Regulus don't do it hell kill you.i can't let him hurt you my heart.

Flashbacks ⚠️ over

see he loved me he respected me and you tell my child her father was a coward when you killed people and bullied me and bullied my husband. Who can't even defend his bloody honor sirius Orion black flower screams. At him before slapping him across the face

Blue eyes calm down says Molly weasly gently.flower heads to the stairs . Next person who disrespects my husband is getting fed to lighta got it she yelled at them.

(I skipped a head because I know mist people have ether read the books or movies and if not check out movie flames they do a Medicore with harry Potter and others.)

Ah flower black the blood traitor yells Bellatrix lestrange. Bella last time I checked I don't love someone who is part human,snake and part rat. Asodre she says as she lifts her wand.Towards voldmort who is shocked at being hit by the curse. Voldmort looks at the young mother with pure anger but also surprise. That boy taught a filthy mudblood that he says trying to hit her with adrevkabra but misses. This is for my daddy ugly flower says hitting voldy with the iltack charm . Voldmort soon feels like his body is on fire.

(You all know the rest.)( flower and her daughter will stay in the home . They burn most of their families tree.except regulus black and those who were good. Flower will follow in her mom's footsteps and go to USA and become an orca tranier . Her mom made a statue of regulus in front of the black mansion.) While voldmort us in limbo due to what he did to his soul. While regulus is in heaven waiting for his wife and child to join him.) So Reggie got the last laugh .

[etherealhiraethsworld]

I am mad.

For 17 years, I’ve missed out on friends. Sure I’d had some sleep overs and birthday parties, maybe weekends at the [race] track, but up until this year I’ve watched my friends go out and walk around town. I’ve listened to stories of them hanging out without me. I waited two years longer than I should’ve to get a job because my parents needed help at home and mom wanted me in the cities.

I had to get my own rides or wait until it was convenient for Dad to go to town in order to see my friends. My life has always revolved around Dad’s schedule. I felt SO guilty asking for rides and money to do these things. I’m standing in front of my mirror buttoning my shirt while my hands shake, eyes filled with tears, repeating “I’m fine” over and over again. I’m never allowed to break down or cry. I can’t break shit or scream or yell at anyone. I can’t say “Fuck you. Fuck off. Get out.” I want to scream and break things and fight people and I want to be allowed to be mad. I’m mad that I missed out on my childhood. I’m mad that I was always too scared to freak out, like being angry meant I wasn’t worth loving.

I’m mad. So god damn fucking mad I couldn’t have food or friends or be in clubs, but [step-mom] will spend 2 hours a day in the car so [little sisters] don’t go to a school that requires masks. I’m fucking furious that I had to grow up alone and that I never fucking had anyone there to wipe my tears and make it okay.

I am so fucking angry that I have to learn how to take care of myself emotionally and physically because no one taught me how. I learned yelling and greed and violence and take what you want and “I’ll give you a reason to cry,” “fuck you she’s a fucking bitch,” “you’re stupid,” “you don’t know anything.” I am fucking sick and tired of doing what’s asked of me. I want to break rules and sneak out and have fun. I want hugs and kisses and “I love you, it’ll be okay” and dancing in the rain. Popcorn on movie nights, sitting in the living room without fear of being shunned by a person who was a better mom than my own. I want “I’m happy you’re here, I’m happy you exist,” not comments about my self-harm and “you’re lazy,” “you’re weak,” “clean your room.” Do this, do that, don’t fucking complain. Oh you’re taking a nap? You better fucking not be, you contribute nothing to the family. All you do is sit on your phone and hide in your room. “Look who finally left their room.” Well FUCK YOU. Fuck you for not making me feel safe being myself, fuck you for the slurs, fuck you for convincing me that hating myself for who I am is a good thing, fuck you for making me think I’m worthless unless I work myself to the bone.

Fuck you for making me feel like I have to earn my place in this family. I don’t need to work or do chores without being asked or get perfect grades to be loved. My life doesn’t have to revolve around yours. I’m sick of hiding who I am and what I believe in for fear of being bullied by my own family. Fuck you all and fuck this stupid ass house, I hate this fucking town. Fuck you for making me feel like a bad person for eating. Fuck you for putting the idea in my head that keeping me alive and feeding me cost too much.

Fuck you for excluding me and telling the girls I don’t love them because I don’t hug them enough. Fuck you for making me feel like having the body I do is wrong. Most of all, fuck you for never fucking listening to me. I have to fight and cry and scream and wreck myself just to get you to hear me, and still, you don’t. I get good grades, I do my chores, I’m respectful and quiet and don’t bother anyone unless I’m asked and you still don’t fucking listen. I’m angry, I’m sad. I want to die, I want to be free, I want to be a child, I want to heal. I don’t want to have to break my body to be strong and make you happy. But that makes me weak. That makes me selfish. I can’t ask for help, I can’t be excited, I can’t have hopes and dreams. That’s all too selfish. How dare I want my own life. How dare I be or do anything except come home for you to poke and prod and make fun of. How fucking dare I be my own person with my own thoughts, wants, needs, and human nature.

I am not a burden. I am not yours. I do not and will never belong to anyone but myself. Being curious doesn’t make me selfish and wrong. Fuck you.