#i buy an electric razor

[totalfreakingloser]

whenever I shave it makes me think about in high school when I told my friends my mom never taught me how to use a real razor and used an electric one and that I also shaved my arms and just. the negative feedback I got from both of those was astonishing. I also got negative feedback about my fear of tampons. like. you can’t advocate for girls to live how they want until it’s in a way you don’t like

[dragqueenpentheus]

i've been thinking of shaving my head for a full week. i want to shave my head. however it is winter and cold outside.

[1-800-angel-glow]

leg hair pulling on ankles weird, might have to cave and shave them for the first time in 2 yrs

[nakaleawesome]

The amount of concern my grandma has with my unshaven legs is ridiculous.

"Don't you wanna be more feminine and please your husband?"

No and he doesn't give a shit

[tgirlwithreverb]

I saw that post about what to do if you're homeless again (the one that starts by telling you to spend all of your money on motel rooms lmao) anyway, here's a few thoughts, specifically for trans girls, cuz I don't really care otherwise tbh:

1) plan ahead, most trans girls are in precarious housing situations, you will have a much easier time when it falls apart if you already have a pack with most of the gear you need in it. Also, if you find yourself in a situation where you cant make rent, dont pay part of it, spend that money on gear, pocket the rest and leave, youll have a much nicer time. Look up your local eviction laws, you have plenty of time. (Gear list at the end)

2) travel! If you're in Arizona in May, leave. it's about to be hot as hell. If you're in Michigan in October, leave. It's about to be cold as hell. If you're in a big city, leave. It's way easier to be homeless pretty much anywhere else. Amtrak is cheaper and more comfortable than greyhound, hitchhiking is free and easy, if you're alone it's not that much slower than the previous two, and it's more fun, and sometimes people buy you food or whatever or give you money. I promise it's not scary and you're entirely capable of doing it, no matter who you are. 95+% of people who will pick you up are very nice. All you have to do is take the bus out of town, as far down the highway you can, to an exit with a truck stop if possible, then just stand on the side of the road with your thumb out until someone picks you up. You can stand at the bottom of the ramp(on the highway) near where the merge lane ends or at the top of the ramp(where there's usually a traffic light), the former is more likely to lead to cop interactions but will maybe get you a ride faster, check on hitchwiki for how the cops are in the area. don't be afraid to take a commuter bus or Amtrak to get out of a shitty cop area

3) skip shelters if you can (they are very occasionally a decent place to get stuff from) and encampments, good places to sleep include the trees near railroad tracks or highways, wooded areas behind shopping centers, sections of parks without paths, overgrown empty lots. Hang a tarp above you if there's an appreciable chance of rain, there's tons of YouTube tutorials on how to do this, maybe I'll make a post about what I usually do some day. There are many habits more fun than motel rooms, save your money for them lmao.

4) get on food stamps. This is easier in some places than others, but it makes the whole thing a lot easier. Just tell them you're homeless, if they don't give you a card the same day, you can probably ask to pick it up from that office, alternatively some drop in centers/day shelters can receive mail for you, or you can have it sent to general delivery(USPS service, look it up)

7) libraries are great for charging your phone and using wifi, but also keep an eye out, plenty of random outlets on the outsides of buildings are also powered

5) dumpster. sidewalk trash cans, Aldi, Einstein's, trader Joe's, pizza places, etc. You need to develop a bit of a sense for it but it's an easy way to get cooked food or travelling food or expensive food without spending resources. Also it's fun.

6) water is free, go into the bathroom of any gas station or grocery store in America(offer not valid in most big cities or on the west coast, but in that case just go to the library) and fill up your water bottle

8) hygiene notes: truckers get free showers from chain truck stops(loves, pilot/flying j) go there and ask them. convenient if you're hitchhiking, also you don't need to shower 3 times a day, really, you'll survive. Ditto with deodorant. Take care of your teeth though. Take your socks off every. day. Change them consistently. Safety razors give a good shave, work well without adequate water pressure, and the replacement blades are very stealable, they're kind of heavy though. Walmart makes these electric razors for women that take AA batteries and are pretty light but give a worse shave, also they kinda go through batteries, pick whatever works for you(cartridge razors suck)

9) traveling food notes: peanut butter is great, tortillas and bagels travel pretty well, tuna packets are pretty good protein for traveling(the ones with rice and beans or whatever are nice since theyre often the same price as the regular), condiment packets are free, hot sauce makes everything better, and mayo goes well with tuna and has a bunch of calories in it, salad dressing packets are free from truck stops and work well turning the Walmart shredded vegetable packages (labeled for making into slaw, next to the bagged salads) into a salad with real vegetables(not iceberg lettuce) in it or mixing in with tuna packets for even more calories than mayo

Gear world:

Necessary items(in order of importance): a gallon of water carrying capacity(an Arizona jug or other twist top jug is conventional, but a bladder+arizona bottles also works), a tarp(larger than 6'x9', not brightly colored), a hank of parachord, a sleeping bag (20° rated, synthetic insulation), a backpack with a padded hip belt(at least 50L, no more than 75), rain gear(a rain poncho might cover your pack too, a rain jacket can help with wind when its cold, a trash bag inside or outside your pack can keep it dry, a plan to watch the weather and not get caught also works), a z-fold foam sleeping pad, three pairs of socks, two pairs of underwear (at least one pair of boxer breifs strongly recommended if you arent incredibly skinny), a decent pair of shoes with good arch support, a functional jacket(skip if you got a rain jacket before), a base layer(wool or poly, absolutely no cotton)

Convenient items: a sleeping bag liner(cotton free, keeps you warm in winter and cool in summer), gallon zip locks to pack your stuff in(helps keep it dry and organized), no more than one change of clothes(as light as possible), a multi-tool(can opener, pliers, wire cutter), lighter(burning rope ends etc), spoon, floss and needles for patching

[carlyraejepsans]

..........i should grow a mullet. itd be rats ass on me actually no it wouldn't it would look so hot. i should buy an electric razor. no i shouldn't. where am i.

[simp-plague]

I haven't written in actual years and finally decided to try and pick it up again. So here is the first story I've ever posted and I hope ya'll like it!

Bakugou x Fem!Reader

Summary: Confident reader works at a beauty supply store and lives an average life but one day two men walk in and things start to heat up (modern au and aged up)

WC: 4,730

MDNI

Warnings: f reader, cock warming, p in v, unprotected sex (wrap it up in real life ya'll lol), creampie (let me know if I missed anything)

You work at a beauty supply store and you expect it to be another normal day of customers, some who genuinely need help, some who have been doing their own hair for years, and some older women who like to argue with you until you start fuming. Until a red haired man and a blonde man walk into your store. The blonde looks like he doesn’t wanna be there while the red head looks happy and energetic. You ask them if they need any help finding something and the red head immediately responds “I’m looking for red hair dye”

“Well all our hair dye is down this aisle” you say as you walk towards all the hair dye “have you ever used professional hair dye before?” 

“I didn’t really know there was a difference” he said while rubbing the back of his neck

Then the blonde chimes in “his girlfriend always does his hair” as he chuckles to himself 

“Yeah she always does my hair and she told me to come here since she is out of town, I’ve never actually done my own hair” 

“Oh does she come here often because if so I probably know her” you say a little excited

“Yeah she does!” He says excited “she has pink hair and the most beautiful yellow eyes” he’s like a love sick puppy and it makes your heart warm 

“Oh so you’re Mina’s boyfriend, Kirishima right?” With a wide smile on your face 

“Yeah I am” a small chuckles comes out of him

“And you must be the grumpy friend, Bakugou” you say trying to hold in a laugh

The blonde turns to you with a scowl on his face while Kirishima laughs and says “yeah that’s him” 

“Well I’m happy to finally put names to faces”

You start to show him the red hair dye his girlfriend Mina always buys and all the things he is going to need. You notice another customer walks in the store, you excuse yourself from the two men for a moment to help the other customer.

“Hi welcome in, is there anything I can help you with” you say in your customer service voice to the older lady who just walked in

“Yes” she said obviously already angry “I purchased this electric razor from this store a week ago and I don’t like it! I need a refund!”

You calmly explain that she can’t return the item and point out the sign above the register that electric razors are final sales only and there will be no refunds. She is obviously not happy and starts to raise her voice “that sign wasn’t there a week ago! So I’m allowed a refund” her rant continues to the point she is yelling at you.

You start to get extremely angry as you try to continue to explain why the refund isn’t going to happen.

Bakugou and Kirishima hear the women now yelling at you and look over to see the confrontation. They start walking over to the register with all the items they wish to purchase and to see if you are okay but before they get the chance to confront the women yelling at you, you snap.

The anger you were suppressing as the woman berated you finally boiled over and you’ve had enough. You raise your voice at the women, not quite yelling but you are no longer speaking in your customer service voice. “Ma’am. You have no right to yell at me for doing my job. Instead of being a self obsessed person, how about you think how your words and actions affect other people?”

The woman is dumb founded at how you just spoke to her as she tries to collect herself you say “if you have a problem with our policies feel free to call our customer service line and if you feel the need to complain about me, my name is Y/N L/N, but I can assure you I will not lose my job and you will end up looking like the fool”

The woman had shock all over her face and she tried to say things but no words came out, she angrily huffed and stomped out the store.

You turn around and take a second to calm yourself down, if you could have you would have punched her across the face but you know if you did that you would most definitely lose your job. When you finally turned back around you are met with the shocked faces of Bakugou and Kirishima.

Embarrassment swept over your face “holy shit I’m so sorry about that!”

Kirishima still slightly in shock tries to say something but is interrupted by Bakugou “damn that was impressive” he said with a smirk on his face

You look at Bakugou with pink slightly dusting your cheeks “thanks, some people just don't understand common sense" you say as you push some hair behind your ear. Bakugou nods in agreement

You notice Kirishima holding the items you showed them “oh are you ready to check out?”

“Yeah” said Kirishima as he starts to set the items on the counter

You make some small talk while scanning their items and placing them in the bag, he then pays and starts to walk out the door before turning around to see his friend Bakugou “Yo Bakubro, you coming?”

Bakugou snaps out of whatever he was looking at and starts walking towards his friends and then leaves the store. 

The rest of your day was fairly normal after that but your head was off thinking of other things. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the parking lot after they left

Kirishima looks over at his friend while walking towards the car “You were starting at her ya know?”

Bakugou looks at his friend “shut up shitty hair, I was not” a slight blush forming across his face

“Come on man you totally were and looks like she wasn’t upset about it” he chuckles “I bet I can get Mina to give her your number”

“I’m gonna hurt you unless you shut the hell up” 

Their whole ride home was Kirishima teasing Bakugou while the blush on his face got a little darker 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two days later

You are getting ready for your work day and you can’t stop thinking about Bakugou ‘why am I even thinking about him? I don’t know anything about him except the fact he is extremely hot’ your face starts to warm up just thinking about it. You shake the thoughts while heading out of your apartment to go to work. 

Most of your day just flew by and next thing you know you only have an hour left until you gotta close the store. Then a familiar girl with pink hair walks in.

“Oh hey Mina! It’s great to see you!”

She has the biggest smile on her face while she walks up to you “hey girly!”

“I finally got to meet Kirishima last week, he’s so sweet and definitely obsessed with you” you wink at her and she chuckles “Did he forget something? it’s not like his roots grow that fast to need a touch up already” you laugh

“Nope” Mina’s smile didn’t falter which makes you slightly confused “I have something for you”

“Oh? What is it” curiosity gets the best of you 

“Someone I know is interested in you” she shoots you a wink

Your cheeks start to warm up and you start thinking of who you know that Mina also knows. It then dawns on you that it could only be one person.

“By the look on your face right now it looks like you know who I’m talking about” she smirks 

“Ummm… is it Bakugou?” You say at almost a whisper

“Ding ding ding! You win the prize” she holds out her hand and she is holding a piece of paper

You slowly reach out and grab the paper from her and unfold it. Your eyes get wide looking at the ten numbers written on it. “Is this…”

“Yup it’s Bakugou’s phone number, he wanted me to give it to you”

“Wait really?!” Shock is written all over your face

“Yeah you should give him a call when you get off work” 

“Okay… I will but wait, why is he even interested in me? He only met me once and barely spoke” you say

“He saw the way you stood up for yourself when that lady was screaming at you and didn't give two shits about getting in trouble, he likes a girl who can stand her ground and you definitely showed that” 

“Wow umm okay I guess that makes sense” you say while rubbing the back of your neck “I’ll give him a call once I close the store”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

40 minutes later

You just finished closing the store and as you walk to your car you are fiddling with the paper Mina had given you with Bakugou’s phone number on it. Once in your car you let out a sigh and dialed his number. The phone started ringing and ringing, the anxiety swirling in your stomach had you holding your breath ‘maybe he won’t answer. Am I really doing this? Shit I’m just gonna hang up and try later’ but before you can hang up the call and voice from the other end says “hello?”

“Umm hi… Bakugou?”

“Yeah, who is this?”

‘Shit did Mina not tell him I was gonna call?’

“It’s Y/N the girl from the beauty store” your nervousness makes your voice a little shaky and you hope he can’t tell

“Oh yeah the girl who wasn’t scared to stand up for herself” you can almost hear his smirk through the phone

Your nerves start to dissipate and your confidence comes through “so I hear you are interested in me” you smile to yourself

“Yeah I may be interested” he slightly chuckles

“So you gonna ask me out or do I have to ask you out?” 

He laughs on the other end of the call “how ‘bout I pick you up tomorrow at 6pm?”

“I close the store tomorrow but I’ll be free by 8pm”

“8pm it is then”

“I’ll send you my address and I’ll see you tomorrow”

“It’s a date”

The phone call ends and you giggle to yourself. It’s been awhile since you’ve been this excited about a date

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day

You wake up and start your day like every other, styling your hair, doing your makeup, picking out an outfit, and making breakfast. Throughout your whole day you are giddy with excitement about your date tonight.

The day went by fast and you finally got home after work, you practically sprinted to your apartment door to start getting ready. You are halfway ready when you hear a knock on the door. You quickly grab your phone to see the time “shit it’s already 8!”

You quickly make your way to the door completely oblivious to what you were wearing. You open the door and are greeted by a tall handsome blonde named Bakugou. He is wearing black slacks that hug his legs perfectly, a black button up with the sleeves rolled to his elbows, and a gold chain around his neck. “Damn you look good” you say with a smile on your face. He looks you up and down and stifles a chuckle “you also look good but I don’t think you can wear that out” he smirks. You quickly realize you are still wrapped up in a towel from your shower and your face gets warm as a blush starts to appear on your face but that doesn’t waver your confidence. 

“If you like what you see now just wait till I’m actually ready” you give him a wink “just give me 5 minutes and then I’ll be ready”

You motion for him to come in and then you walk away to your room to finish getting ready

Just as you said it took you only 5 minutes to get dressed. You walk into your living room wearing a tight dark green dress that shows all your curves with a thigh slit that stops just before your hip and a simple pair of matte black stiletto heels. 

“Fuck you were worth the wait” he says with shallow breaths

You laugh and it just emphasizes how your breasts jiggle in a dress that leaves little to the imagination of your shape. He is just staring at you and it makes butterflies erupt in your stomach. “Should we get going?” You ask while walking towards him

You can see how his adam apple moves when he swallows before responding “yeah” he extends an arm for you to hold onto and you gladly accept and walk to his car.

The whole car ride he has his hand gripping your thigh and you can feel yourself getting wet, you push the thought out of your head then you finally arrive at the restaurant. He parks the car and gets out, he walks around to the other side and opens the door for you with his hand extended for you to take, you happily accept. 

He stops in his tracks when you reach the door of the restaurant. “What’s wrong?” you look up at him with doe eyes.

You scan the area and see what he is looking at, it’s Mina and Kirishima. “Holy shit! What are you guys doing here?” You say while walking towards them

“Bakugou was telling us about your date tonight and how nervous he was so we thought we’d surprise y’all” Mina said with a smile stretched on her face

Bakugou sent a glare her way. You elbow Bakugou on the side “is that true? Mister tall and handsome was nervous?” A smirk on your face

He stammers over his words after you so openly called him handsome. “That’s okay, I was nervous too” you say while giving him a genuine smile. 

“Wouldn’t have guessed your were nervous” he chuckles and you elbow him in the side again

“Oh look they look like a couple already and the date hasn’t even started yet” Mina says looking at her boyfriend. “Yeah like a match made in heaven” Kirishima adds

You and Bakugou send them both a look this time before Bakugou says “well should we head inside?”

Everyone nods and walks into the restaurant. The whole night was amazing and filled with smiles and laughter. Sadly the night had to come to an end and you said your goodbyes to Mina and Kirishima before making your way back to Bakugou’s car.

“Can’t believe they crashed our first date” Bakugou said while running his hand through his hair

“How ‘bout I make it up to you?” You say while getting into his car

“What do you have in mind?” He takes your hand in his

“When you take me home, come in for some wine”

He smirks and pulls your hand to his mouth and kisses it gently “I’d love to”

You both arrive to your apartment and walk inside. You go to the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine and two glasses then join him on the couch.

For hours you both talk about likes, dislikes, your pasts, and just about life while sipping wine. Next thing you know it’s 4am, you spent almost the whole night just talking.

“Fuck it’s 4am” you say while looking at the clock

“I guess I should head home” 

He starts to stand up but you grab his hand and stand up with him. “Tonight was a lot of fun”

“Yeah it was, I’ll call you tomorrow”

You walk with him to the door and he starts to walk out your apartment. You quickly grab him by the wrist before he walks away and pull him into a kiss, a deep kiss that has him pushing you up against the wall with your hands gripping his shirt and his hands in your hair. 

You both pull away breathing heavily. “I couldn’t let you go with out at least one kiss” you say 

A smirk appears on his lips “can’t wait to kiss you again” he says before walking out your apartment 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A month goes by and you and Bakugou have officially started dating. It’s been amazing and it’s more amazing you both have been able to keep your hands to yourself this long other than passionate make outs. But that’s soon to change and you are going to make sure of that because it’s driving you crazy for how much you want him to touch you and have him inside you.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You’re sitting at home in bed tossing and turning unable to fall asleep. Your head is swarming with thoughts of your boyfriend Bakugou. You let out a large sigh while sitting up abruptly and whipping the blankets off your body. You lean over and grab your phone off the night stand and hit the call button next to Bakugou’s name.

Ring ring

Ring ring

“Hey baby, what’s up?”

"What are you doing right now?" You sound a little frustrated

"Just hangin' with some of the guys, why?" Concern slightly laced in his voice

You let out a huff before saying "I need you"

"What do you mean baby? You already have me" he said confused

"Fuckin' hell, no! I need you here now, kissing me and touching me"

He is silent on the other end of the call

"Kats? You still there?"

"Yeah... just had to step outside so the guys can't listen in"

"Well how 'bout you just go ahead and ditch them and come over here" you say seductively

"Fuck, baby" his breathing gets slightly heavy

"Come on Kats~ and let me make you cum"

"I'm on the way"

He ends the call and walks back into Denki's apartment. "I'm leaving" he says while grabbing his keys from the kitchen counter

Denki looks up from his phone "Wait? Why?"

"Isn't it obvious" Sero laughs

"What do you mean?" Denki says confused

"He's got pussy waiting for him" Sero smirks

"Oh shit!" Denki says with shock on his face

Bakugou glares at his friends before heading out the door ignoring Sero and Denki's laughter

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back at your apartment

You put your phone back down on your night stand sitting in bed wearing just a t-shirt and a pair of lacy panties. Almost 20 minutes pass and you're about to text Bakugou until you hear a knock on the door. You excitedly jump off your bed and walk to the door, opening it you find a sweaty Bakugou.

"Damn babe, did you run here?" you laugh

"I may have" He looks you up and down and his breath hitches for a moment

You notice how he looks at you and you grab him by the collar of his shirt and pull him in and shut the door behind him

"I promised I'd make you cum" you say while pulling him against your body

The hunger in his eyes grows and he pushes you up against the wall. "I promise I'll make you cum first" He smashes his lips against yours as his hands wander down to your hips and lifts you up. You wrap your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck deepening the kiss even further.

You feel the bulge in his pants grow and start to grind into you, you moan into his mouth and follow his rhythm. You break the kiss first, when you pull your head back a string of saliva still connects the two of you. "Bedroom, first door on the left" is all you said before pushing yourself back to his soft plush lips.

Bakugou moans into your mouth as a response and then he starts to make his way to your bedroom with you still in his strong arms. It's like you weighted nothing to him as he made his way to the room, not a falter in his steps.

Bakugou throws you onto the bed and you let out a small gasp while landing on your back. He starts to crawl his way onto the bed until he is right above you with both hands on either side of your head supporting his weight. "I'm gonna make you feel good, princess~"

Bakugou leans down and places a kiss to your lips, you reach up and wrap both arms around his neck to pull him further into the kiss. You slowly raise one leg to wrap it around his waist to pull his whole body closer to yours and with your new leverage you are able to roll Bakugou over onto his back with you now straddling his lap.

To say his face looked shocked from what had just happened would be an understatement. You look Bakugou in the eyes with a smirk on your face "you seem confused, has no one ever taken control of you before~"

A slight blush starts to rise on his face as he looks at you, you don't break eye contact as you slowly start to slowly take off your own shirt leaving you just in your lace panties. The hunger in Bakugou's eyes grows even deeper when you strip yourself of your shirt and exposing your tits to him. (since you weren't wearing a bra)

"damn" Bakugou huffs out "you're stunning"

A confident smile appears on your lips as you lean down pressing your chest against his. "doesn't seem fair that you still have your shirt on now." You whisper into his ear as your hands glide down his sides until you reach the hem of his shirt and gently pulling it up.

Bakugou takes your hint and sits up and pulls his shirt over his head as you lean back to admire his beautifully sculpted body. After quickly throwing his shirt somewhere in the room his arms quickly wrap around your waist and pulls you in for a kiss. Moving in unison and his tounge swipes across your bottom lip as if asking permission for entrance and you happily let him. Tounges swirling together and moaning into each others mouths as you slowly grind on the hard bulge in his pants.

Bakugou's lips started to drift away from your mouth and down your neck, leaving hickeys in his wake. Your hands find their way into his blonde locks as his lips made their way further down you body until they reach you perky nipples. He slowly licks one small bud ,then takes the bud into his mouth to suck and nibble on it. You back arches into his body as you let out a moan and grip his hair tighter in your hands. A smirk forms on his lips as he detaches himself from your small bud and makes his way to the other to give it the same affection as the first one. That coaxed another moan out of you and you grind even harder on his clothed cock, in desperate need for some type of friction.

You sit up so you are standing on your knees and you run you fingers on the inside of Bakugou's waist band, you lean down to whisper in his ear "take them off." That sent a shiver down his spine but he follows your command and takes off his pants, "these to" you say while rubbing his hard cock through his boxers and he lets out a low moan.

Bakugou's hard cock springs out and lands on his stomach, leeking pre down his length. You take a few seconds to admire his cock before you take your hand to wrap it around his girth. He leans his head back and inhales a sharp breath threw his teeth. As you slowly stroke his length, you use your other hand to slip out of your lace panties and slowly rub circles onto your aching clit.

"fuck" he huffs and then opens his eyes to look at you and his eyes go slightly wide at the sight of you rubbing your own cunt. "shit princess, you're so... nngh... damn hot"

You start to slowly lower your self closer to his aching cock that's still in your hand, lining his member to your entrance. You look him in the eyes, his red eyes swirl with hunger and lust. "do we need a-" his words are cut short when you push yourself down on his cock, taking him all at once. Your walls flutter around him and your head leans back and you let out a loud moan. You look back down at him and while trying to steady yourself you say "no, want to feel all of you"

Leaning down and enveloping him in a deep kiss as you grind and ride him. You sit back up and your speed increases, your moans get louder as your hands grab your breasts. Bakugou is staring at you loving the view of you using him but he is becoming impatient with the slow speed. His hands grab your hips to help you ride him faster "fuck, Kats" you moan.

Bakugou's impatience officially got the best of him and he is now lifting you up and flipping you onto your back without leaving your tight cunt. "I'm done with this slow shit" he huffs "I'm gonna ruin you"

His speed picks up and all you can hear is the lewd sound of skin smacking skin and your crying moans. Bakugou's hand finds its way to you swollen clit and starts to rub slow circles. "fuck, your gonna make me cum" you moan

Your walls flutter around his member, squeezing him so tight with your climax quickly approaching. "shit baby, if you keep squeezing me like that I'm not gonna last"

His thrust start to get sloppy, losing his rhythm as his hand speeds up on your aching clit. "I-I'm gonna-" you scream out in ecstasy and your back arches off the bed, your cunt squeezes him even harder which makes Bakugou let out a deep moan.

"where do-"

"inside" you say in between gasps and your response made him groan "fuck, princess" It doesn't take long for him to paint your walls white with his spend.

He leans down enveloping you in a deep passionate kiss before putting his full weight on top of you and keeping his cock inside you. Both of your breathing starts to steady and Bakugou nuzzles his head into your neck kissing it gently. "I love you Y/N" he whispers extremely quiet almost hoping you didn't hear him because he thinks it's to soon to say. You lean back slightly to look at his face and place a hand on his cheek, rubbing it gently "really?"

"yeah, I knew I'd fall in love with you the moment I saw you stand up for yourself to that bitch"

You stifle your laughter "I love you to Kats" You smile at him warmly and pull his face to yours to softly kiss him. You two lay in bad a little while longer just absorbing the warmth you share.

"okay, I'm feeling sticky, get up" you giggle. Bakugou sarcastically groans and gets up, pulling himself out of you. You sigh at the sudden emptiness but then notice Bakugou walking out of the room "where are you going?"

"getting a wet cloth, you said you were sticky"

You look at him with so much adoration and love. When he comes back into the room, he sits on the bed and wipes you down. After cleaning you up he lays back down on the bed and extends his arm to you, his silent way of telling you he wants you close. You slide into his hold and lay your head on his chest and all you can think before sleep takes ahold of you is 'how did I get so damn lucky?'

[riptidekissesblog]

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓhey girlies, ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓv

as promised, here are 15 things that helped me seriously level up. I'm so sick of seeing the same things on every blog post and it's just like stay hydrated!!

try new hobbies until you find ones that bring you the most fufillment!! (examples to try: art, crochet, writing, making music, photography, gardening, cooking)

find YOUR exercise, whether it's yoga, pilates, sports, weight training, dance. I can't stress this enough.

I know meditation seems cliche, but it really can help clear your mind and bring balance. a tip that helps me is to visualize your tongue relaxing, almost like it's floating. that will help silence your mind so you can fully surrender.

pay attention to your diet. so much of what we eat is processed junk food. try to eat 80% Whole Foods and 20% processed foods. meal prepping really helped me also not buying junk food at all. this step seems difficult but i promise there is a healthy alternative to most of your favortite foods. remember, you are what you eat ;)

when it comes to beauty, the simpler the better (its also cheaper!!) some things I would invest in would be coconut and castor oil because they can be used on everything. also a gel nail kit and a good electric razor for your face. the more you obess on every detail the more it will consume you. you are enough and don't need a million beauty hacks. (also sun-in works nice for natural highlights)

no company is better than bad company, don't accept low-vibe behavior from ANYONE

make an it girl playlist with upbeat songs from rihanna, lady gaga, katy perry, marina, and other 2000s hits. I don't know what it is but those songs will bring out the inner goddess in you.

don't compare yourself to anyone!!!! everyone is on their own journey, focus on yours. everyone has their own energetic signature. be yourself. stop wanting to impress others.

listen to binaural beats if you have blocked chakras or want to attract wealth, love, luck etc). they're also super relaxing.

give up all your limiting beliefs, anything is possible if you want it bad enough. it's gotta be someone, why couldn't it be you?

go with the flow, things happen for a reason. if you find yourself regretting a decision, remind youself that the other choice may have been worse, how do you know??

take ownership for your problems, the only one to blame is yourself. i am a firm believer that you can change anything you don't like about your reality. you deserve happiness.

live in the moment. ask yourself are you enjoying the moment, if not, what can you change. if you can't change anything, LEAVE. protect your peace girl!

stop insecurity from the root. you don't love yourself becuase you haven't worked on yourself. you are a garden that needs watering. i promise, once you complete this list you will love the person you become.

surround youself with love. do every task out of love. speak every word from a loving place. love everyone. we are all human.

i really hope this helps. this list came from YEARS of self-work. i created this blog so girls can learn how to become their most healed beautiful selves.

love you girlies!! ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

[speedywithadhd]

why do I keep getting MANSCAPED ads!?!?!? Not only do I not care about shaving, but why would I buy an expensive glorified electric razor to do so?!?¿¿

[iwriteaboutfeminism]

One of the nicest things I've done for myself recently was to buy an electric razor.

I don't care a ton about shaving my legs, but when it's hot and I'm wearing shorts or a dress, I would usually wear leggings under those if I was going to be out in public while my legs were hairy. (And I don't mean a little hairy- a mean really hairy.) (Also, there wouldn't be anything wrong with going out with hairy legs, it's just not something I wanted to do while my legs were exposed.)

It was too much time and effort and mess to shave with a regular razor, that I wouldn't do it very often.

Buying an electric razor allowed me to shave my legs and be done in 1 minute without any water or soap to clean up. I don't have to wait until I take a shower to do it. I don't have to make sure my sink counter is cleared off to put my foot up on. I can just do it quickly and be done with it.

I shave my legs much more often now, as that's my choice, and I feel so glad that I did myself the kindness of buying an electric razor.

As you can, do what you can to make your life easier. These acts of kindness really go a long way.

[writersundersiege]

The New Girl in Town Pt 6

Rafe Cameron x F! Reader

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A/n: This one is another long one, and it took me so freaking long to edit, and honestly, I don’t know how I feel about this chapter. I will let you all be the judge. Should I keep doing this one this way or just do it based on whatever comes to mind?

The New Girl in Town - Masterlist

Summary: When Rafe comes to your rescue at the boneyard, what happens when things develop with him rapidly? But maybe things aren’t what you thought initially. Are the people of Outerbanks right about the boy you’re starting to feel so much care for?

MDNI 18+

Warnings: Storms, grief, death, insinuation of sexual themes, violence, weapons, swearing, drug use, and drug abuse, as well as some slight talks of addiction. Sexual themes: unprotected sex, smut, slight aftercare, soft! Rafe

That night, from two separate spots on the same property, two people couldn’t sleep comfortably.

You laid on the Druther’s, soft volume playing on Netflix from Sarah’s laptop; you could feel the waves slowly rock the boat, the double door slightly open, letting in the biting sea breezes that floated through the night while you sat and stared out the window of the ship that looks towards Tannyhill.

Sarah's sleeping frame on the couch across from yours. rises slowly up and down from breathing.

Looking back towards the vast house, you notice one dim light is on and immediately recognize it as the room one door down from Sarah, Rafe's room.

Earlier, he nearly slammed the door so hard to his room it shook the whole wall that connected his room to his sisters, and then a giant storm cloud of doubt swarms you.

From the second you stepped foot on the island, you’d heard about a boy named Rafe who was troubled and unbalanced. The first thing you heard about him was right before you met him while moving in.

The moving caravan stopped at a hardware store; you were buying a drink while your dad needed razors for the box cutters your mom had newly ordered to unpack.

You entered the smaller store, smelling of freshly cut wood and slight hits of cleaning oils, soft elevator-type music played.

Other than your father and you, there were workers, including a few boys your age and an older man standing at the register, but they were the only occupants of the store.

As you were browsing the refrigerator section, trying to decide what to get. Faintly, you could hear two boys in the other aisle talking, and they seemed rather upset.

Trying your best to mind your business, you round the corner, making your way towards the register where you can already make out your dad’s smiling face, leaning on the counter and looking back towards you.

In the last moments, you catch the boy stocking shelves, his messy brown hair falling in his eyes, saying, “Then after all that bullshit, dude, I go looking for her only to find her right underneath Rafe fucking Cameron.”

The redheaded boy, who sits on the floor, stocking shelves, listening to the boy next to him, shaking his head while continuing stacking, says, “is how it is out here, always has been, man. That isn’t the first girlfriend you’ll have stolen right from under your nose, nor will it be the last. Kooks take what they want.”

This makes you stop and step back, looking down at what appears to be outlet covers. Still, too enveloped in the things you don’t know but are curious about, you pretend to pick them up and be reading the back but listening to the boys.

Your dad stands at the front counter, watching you for a moment, frowning as you look at the light switch covers but shrugs, walking to a display shelf they had set up for electric hand tools that weren’t far from the front.

“Cameron and all the snobby rich kids on this island get what they want not because they deserve it but because they're crazy, and Rafe, man, I mean, he’s ruthless; he’s borderline psychotic, nah not borderline, he is psychotic I mean there are so my examples…”

He begins to trail off but immediately starts again: “One time, I watched him beat the hell out of a dude at a party who touched his truck by accident, mind you; the man was smiling back blood in his teeth, taunting the kid who wasn’t even fully conscious anymore till people pulled him off. I’ll never forget that, and the kid still has a huge scar on the side of his head from the fight.”

The messy-haired boy had been intensely listening the entire time, just like you so much, so you think it’s time to stop being intrusive and be on your way, considering not only are you eavesdropping, but you’re taking part in gossip that could be entirely subjective you don’t know any of these people and it’s best not to make a prior illusion of someone you’ve yet to meet.

The last thing you hear as you leave the aisle back turned but recognize it to be the brown-haired boy's voice saying, “It sucks. I thought she liked me; Cameron has everything: the perfect family, house, and life; no wonder she doesn’t want someone like me when someone like him even offers. I’m just some kid who grew up on The Cut, so whatever, I guess, keep moving forward, right?” the red-haired boy pats his back, saying, “Don’t worry, bro, we got you Pogues for Life.”

Eventually, you reach the register, quickly pay, and hurry out the doors; your dad catches up behind you, pointing back and saying, “You find a looker in there cause if you did and you're too shy, I could—“

You cut him off with a rupture of laughter that leaves him wide-eyed, saying, “No, please, we all saw your wingman capabilities were subpar at best a few months ago; ring a bell, cute waiter on the royal Caribbean cruise we took for Mom's birthday.”

Your dad stops walking with you, turning to face you, becoming mock-offended, throwing his hand to his chest. “You smite me (F/N). That was one slip-up, and frankly, don’t blame me for the strawberry daiquiris; they did all the talking that night.”

You shake your head, giving him a skeptical look. “I don’t remember a glass of Strawberry and Rum saying to a fully grown man. Who was working; may I remind you. that if he didn’t already have a girlfriend and wanted a good one or just wanted a new one…I was single, and then leaving my freaking phone number on a napkin, nope, pretty sure it was you.”

You end poking him in the chest with a small laugh and kind eyes because it is a story to laugh about; he gives you a defeated look while pushing you both to walk back slowly. You don’t notice till halfway there your dad is relatively still, and his defeated look turns to regret or sorrow; “Dad.”

Right as you make it back to the caravan, your father looks up, eyes wide; he gently grabs your face, cupping your cheeks in his hands and placing a kiss on top of your head before pulling you in a vast Charlie-style bear hug, swinging you back and forth squeezing till you felt you couldn’t breathe but you laugh a hearty laugh.

Moments like these remind you of being a little girl and playing with your dad on the beach, collecting shells, and splashing and running along the water line. These moments made you feel free.

He sets you gently on the ground, saying as he’s hugging you, “This time is gonna be different, Peanut, I promise.” You hug him tighter, not precisely sure what he’s talking about, but getting an idea from the look of sorrow you saw shadow his face. You break apart, smiling at him and hopping in the car, driving to your new home.

And that’s when you finally saw him in the flesh; at first, you didn’t know who he was, but out of the group at Topper's playing basketball, he’s the one that immediately caught your eye.

When you saw him, you knew from that second he was not only gorgeous but so dangerous. he was playing ball with the boys, moderately sweaty but nowhere compared to the other two, who were nearly drenched, which showed his athleticism; he had hard lines in his eyebrows almost seeming to have a permanent frown on his face.

His hair, which was so sandy and dirty blond, reminded you of the beaches back home and their mix of yellow and brown sparkling slightly when the sun would glint on it, and it hung right in his eyes, causing him to have to move it out of his face.

When he finally took attention to your arrival, you knew he was looking; you could feel his piercing gaze laid on you like an ice cub was being set right on the back of your neck, but you always knew when all of them were looking wherever you went, you could feel them, but when you had Luca, that feeling didn’t matter. Then he’d gone missing, and he’s still lost.

Luca had been gone so long now with nothing but his necklace and a note; he was the one who made you grounded, but now you want to live cause what if you go missing tomorrow? Wouldn't you like to say you lived extraordinarily? Would you like to say you loved it greatly? that you had fought valiantly? 

Eventually, hearing a knock on the door, you opened it for the boys. You intentionally didn’t turn down your music, and watching them react to you was humorous but endearing.

Specifically, you watched Rafe and how his muscles flexed and unflexed under his shirt and his hair falling right in his eyes, making you want to walk over and push it out of the way for him. When you finally meet with his eyes, he asks you a question, and you smirk, seeing how much his eyes remind you of the sea, its depths, and darkness swirling around with the orbs of his irises.

You have never believed in love at first sight; it was an act of cinematic thrill, but you’d never really seen it or experienced it. Luca wasn’t your love at first sight. You had known and loved Luca your whole life, but you were eight years old when you knew you were in love with Luca, and from that day on, you loved him, and you loved him entirely.

He was your twin flame or soulmate in whatever sense it is. He helped to complete a part of you, but now, with him gone. You are changing and growing; what do you do when you’re sitting across from a man who’s standing and looking into you already like you hung the sun and the stars and for a reason unknown, you like it, you enjoy him, how he carries himself, the charm, the mystery, the coldness. Then, he also seems to show you the sincerity, gentleness, and fondness he has in him that he saves for unique events.

In a moment, you know one thing, and it is Rafe Cameron. He is going to be the death of you; from the moment he sat the dresser down in the room and looked around, softly taking in your space, you knew he was not what they say he is, whatever they make him out to be, it’s not truly him.

You’re going to understand who he truly is, and you have the same thoughts repeatedly as he jumps in for the clothes drives, goes on a drive with your dad, not losing it for you having to help Diana the other day and tonight picking you up from the Boneyard.

Rafe Cameron may be slightly self-absorbed and moody, but he cares much more than he can say or physically show.

As you come to from your thoughts, you realize you’ve been aimlessly staring at the ceiling of the boat at some point while being engrossed by the idea of a man you have yet to learn more about.

One last time, you glance at the windows, swearing to see the curtains slowly swaying as if someone had just walked away, and the light suddenly went out; with that, you turn your back to the window and fall asleep, letting the waves cradle you softly in your dreams.

————————————————————————

In the room now creeping with darkness, Rafe lies in his bed, staring at the door. He had been pacing his floors since he came back in from all the thinking of almost kissing you.

He was right there, and just like everything, Sarah had to get her nose right in it. He thinks back to earlier in the day when his sister had also tried to pull shit with him in front of you about Emma, which was a low blow, considering how many times Rafe has covered for her.

At one point, Rafe looked out to the boat, anchored at the end of their dock, looking to see if he saw any remnants of you sitting on the bow, looking out at the waves that are currently sparkling silver, with the light of the moon, beaming down onto it. 

When Rafe sees nothing but darkness, the pushing and pulling of the waves, and the boat rocking next to the dock, he walks away from the window, lies down and shuts off the light.

Still thinking about you, in many ways, especially how you felt pressed so close to his body, the warmth you emitted on the ride back to Tannyhill making him feel like he was wrapped in a blanket, his thoughts get muddled between his perverse and benevolent thoughts. Still, one’s he’s not willing to tell you just yet.

Rafe doesn’t sleep the rest of the night; he sees you every time he closes his eyes, which in turn makes his heart and mind pulse rapidly, causing Rafe to toss and turn all night, getting no sleep.

He finally succumbs to sleep after he sees the beginning of the orange and pink shades of the sunrise gleaming through his window, putting a smile on his face, comforting him enough to fall asleep thinking about the way you looked when you blushed at him, calling you beautiful.

————————————————————————

The next day, you stayed for brunch with the Cameron family, minus Rafe; he didn’t show up, and nobody was sure where he was, considering his door was closed and no one saw him. They asked Sarah to knock, and she returned, saying, “He’s still sleeping, I think.”

It was lovely getting to know your new friend and her family and learning about their dynamic.

Everyone sat laughing and talking when Sarah kicked your foot under the table, making you look up to her; she nodded towards the Druthers. You see a boy who’s jumping onto the boat; you shake your head, indicating you’ll cover for her as she slowly gets up, saying Excuse me quietly and making her way to the dock and down on the boat; no one pays mind to her leaving though you can faintly see her before suddenly Ward says to you.

“So (F/N) what made your family move from California to the Outerbanks?” you look up at nearly the whole family looking at you anticipatory; you clear your throat and take a sip of water. The easy answer is your dad’s surfing business wanting to expand.

The honest answer was a lot; though you never wanted to be home, it seems like you could never leave home; it was never-ending the cycle of you feeling Luca. Whenever you took a step out the door, you’d start to sob and turn right back around and go in again. Since coming to the Outerbanks, you’ve been out more than you have in the year since you got the call: “There was a storm. Luca and Cameron, they can’t find them, but they will”

That sentence rings through your head, making you feel like spiders are crawling in your stomach and creeping up to create intricate webs on your bones.

You smile the best you can, noticing Sarah walking back to the table, looking somewhat frustrated with her conversation, simply replying, “It was time for a change, and Dad wanted to expand.” before you can say anything.

Sarah plops down as if nothing happened and says, “Sorry, I forgot this on the boat. What did I miss?” she smiles and holds up her phone even though Sarah has had her phone the whole time looking at you before you can say anything Ward says “Just getting to know (F/N)” he smiles at you.

“What does your mother do again?” you go to answer, but Sarah says, “C’mon, Dad, let the girl eat!” he chuckles, and you say, “It’s alright, she’s a history teacher.”

You check your phone and see your reminder going off. “I’m so sorry to be so rude, but I just realized my mother needs me to help her today, so I have to go,” Sarah smirks at you, knowing exactly where you are off to

You exchange pleasantries, secretly reminding Sarah to text you later about the boat. She vehemently shakes her head, and you’re rushing through Tannyhill, bag in hand when suddenly, you run straight into a firm, broad chest.

Long, strong arms immediately wrapped around your waist to protect you from falling on your butt. The fresh woody and citrus notes seem to encircle your mind and body, and immediately after that, you go from tense to relaxed, your head resting with your ear against the chest of the person and your heart thumping rapidly. You smile, closing your eyes and saying, “Rafe.”

Rafe's arms tense around you, and you hear him huff out a breath, looking up into his cosmically blue irises; he’s already looking down with a slight smirk when he says, “What’s got you in such a rush, Angel?” his husky voice dancing through your ears.

Rafe is shocked to see that you’re still here, and he’s even more shocked you’re still allowing him to hold you in his arms like this.

Last night, the fact that you ran away with Sarah so fast when you almost kissed made him think you didn’t mean any of it and maybe you’d gotten drunk at that kegger.

Now, though, as he looks down, you rest your chin on his chest, looking up at him; you look so small to him, saying in your discernible melodic voice

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to bump into you. I’m off to help my parents.” Rafe grunts out a croaky sounding “Where sweetheart?” and hearing how he said it made you start to word vomit everything you can think on the spot.

“Dad wants to make new advertisements and asked me to accompany the ambassadors today for a photoshoot. I have an eye for that, at least by Charlie’s standards. Also, since it’s about being here and he wants me to take over eventually, I’m supposed to be in the commercialization like how dad used to, and I’m just nervous.” you giggle slightly, realizing if you kept babbling; he’d stand, and hold you while you did.

Noticing this, you went to step back, but his hand didn’t leave your waist. Your hands dropped to his, laying them gently over his hands.

You both look back and forth at each other for a moment, searching the other's eyes, not knowing what to do or what move to make. Rafe had the urge to drag you up the stairs to his room, throw you down on his bed, and kiss you on every expanse of skin exposed to the eyes he had roaming you.

You feel the look he gives you like an apex predator hunting small game, waiting for the moment it turns its head to check in the other direction before it pounces; in the few seconds you stand there, you can feel the way his fingertips dig into your side like he’s afraid you’ll vanish before him for some reason that feeling makes you pull towards him.

Both of you feel the pull between you like an invisible string slowly yanking until it creates the perfected knots; your faces are even closer, then you can feel his hot breath fanning across your cheeks

Rafe gives it one nudge, pulling your body closer so both of your chests meet, eyes still locked; he could feel every curve and angle of your body pressing perfectly against him; it left his skin tingling all over his body, touching you like this.

He also could feel how warm you were, like you’d been laying out in the sun tanning on the hottest day of summer, but it made the blood that usually runs cold with anticipation get warmer. He leaned down just a bit to ghost his lips over yours.

In the lightest voice he could muster, he asks, “Would you like an escort to this event, ma’am?” he watches the corners of your lips curl, making his stomach twist and turn and a smile creep on his face.

You say, lips almost brushing his back. “I can protect myself this time, big guy, but I appreciate the offer.” Before Rafe can register what you’re thinking, you’re leaning into his lips, placing such a chaste peck it left his lips feeling like hot coals had burned them.

The next thing he knows, he hears your melodic laughter bouncing off the walls as you skip towards his door and smile from ear to ear, just like the day you met. Rafe couldn’t move, shocked not only that you had already kissed him but also that he didn’t react to it.

He watched your back, knowing it was in your nature to vanish. The best part about you is that you bring all of this joy wherever you go, and when you’re gone, you take it with you, but the aftershock of your nature leaves ripples like waves in the ocean, which seems to be the constant reminder of you to Rafe.

Your (H/C) hair bounces from side to side, wisps flying backward toward him, almost calling him to follow where your footsteps take him.

Once you make it to the front door with it slightly ajar, the sun creating a halo, you look over your shoulder to Rafe, saying, “See you around, Reef.” you are out the door before he can respond.

Rafe takes a minute to readjust himself and rewind what just happened in his mind because he, for the first time in his life, doesn’t know what to do with you.

It seems like when you’re around, his mind appears to shut down while also going into overdrive. After a few minutes of contemplating, he turns to walk outside to his family and is met face to face with Sarah, who’s looking at him disgusted.

Immediately, Rafe looks at her with a scowl, saying, “Why are you looking at me like that?” Sarah scoffs at him and walks right past, saying nothing and stomping her way up the stairs.

This entire show of emotion makes Rafe roll his eyes, yelling at her up the stairwell, “Drop the fucking attitude, Sarah. You don’t need to be so god damn difficult always; speak, stop acting like a child.” with this, he hears her door slam shut making him stomp his way to the kitchen huffing about her ruining everything for him.

On the walls outside Tannyhill, after taking a leap of faith and kissing Rafe, you sat in your Jeep outside the home, looking up at the vast white building and thinking everything anyone says about him is wrong; he’s just a boy who wants to be loved.

Whenever you do something and turn back to see if he’s looking, his eyes never seem to leave. When you call, he comes. He is always saying what you feel you need to hear. These thought makes you giddy and send you to The Hut to meet your parents, feeling like you’re on a cloud, gracing your face with a brilliant smile and a new rhythm in your heart.

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The next day, Sarah and Rose came over to invite you and your mother to go and sit with The Mason family later that morning, and you both gladly obliged.

They were a kind, small family of just Mr. and Mrs. Mason; they also had a sweet little girl who was only six years old; her name was Ellie; when the mothers were talking, you and Sarah were sitting on the porch steps looking around at the damage Hurricane Agatha created neither of you talking just observing the surroundings every once and awhile Sarah would text presumably Topper on her phone.

At some point, Ellie comes up to you, tugging on your pants to get you to look down, and she asked you if you would walk around the yard with her; you looked to her mother, and she shook her head, waving her hand and saying it was fine so you kneeled next to the girl smiling holding her by the shoulders saying “I would love to go on a walk with you” she looks at you wide-eyed and whispering, “Do you think Sarah will come to?”

Sarah picked up her head, hearing this on the spot. She looked like she was in a world of her own before. Her eyes are soft but show such care as she says, “I would love to join your walk.” she puts her hand out for Ellie, and you all walk down the porch and around the yard, talking about princesses, her Barbie’s village, and her Elephant that’s been missing since the storm.

At some point, you’re sitting on the dock while Sarah and Ellie walk back and forth down it, and you see three figures emerge from the side of the house; two of the boys wave towards the mothers sitting on the porch, and one stands with a drink and sunglasses staring right at the dock which is so obviously Rafe.

You look away, somewhat nervous seeing him after the kiss; when you glance away, you spot what looks like a stuffed animal under wires and grass.

In a moment, you stand calling Sarah and Ellie, pointing and asking, “Did you take your elephant in that boat?” she shakes her head vehemently. This makes Sarah kneel, asking about her stuffed animal and then saying she’ll get it.

“Sarah, are you sure we don’t know if those wires are live?” she smiles and laughs, waving you off. “It’s fine (F/N). I doubt it, but I can be careful.” She starts to climb onto the plank, and you kneel, taking Ellie and wrapping your arm around her shoulder, taking a step back from the dock, rubbing the side of her shoulder gently.

Rafe talks with Topper and Kelce, eyes tracing from his sister being stupid to you. He can’t help but smirk and sip his drink, thinking about how good you look, being caring and especially caring towards a child. You seem to be protecting the little girl, which makes Rafe smirk deeper into his drink.

At this point, all the moms are yelling, and Rose has come down trying to coax Sarah. Then none, to Rafe's surprise, Sarah pretends to be shocked, which makes everyone except Rafe and you panic.

Topper yells, rushing forward, and the moms gasp; you have the little girl tight in your arm, eyes wide in shock, and Ellie screams, “Sarah!” starting to cry; you pull her head to your neck, gently shushing her, saying, “No, no, she’s okay, it’s okay,” he can hear the slight quiver your voice makes which makes him roll his eyes scowling at Sarah knowing she’s doing this purposefully.

Your head pops up at the sound of Sarah laughing. Like little Ellie in your arms, your horrified faces turn to small smirks at the show Sarah put on. He takes one more look at you, waiting to see if maybe you'd look back, but you don’t, so he turns to head to Tannyhill.

After all of this, your mother calls your name, holding her phone and shaking it, “(F/N) Crush Waves, we gotta go.” your eyes go wide, remembering that you’re meant to be going to promote at the Charleston convention center they were putting on a Surf and Water sports event your dad wanted to go and set up a booth for some networking of the new branch of The Hut.

Once Sarah is back by Ellie, you rush off, but not before you look back to where Rafe was standing before, seeing him disappearing around the corner, frowning but continuing your pace off and out with your mom.

————————————————————————

Sarah🎀🦋: Want to come to the church's beach cleanup? Save the sea animals and get sand between your toes. Plus, your lead singer is going 😏

You wake up the following day to this text from Sarah, making you laugh and immediately messaging back.

(F/N)🗺️🌏: Sure, you can always use a little sand and some Kelce in your life.

You immediately get ready wearing shorts and a cropped shirt that says St. Jeffersons Athletics, which used to be your brother's years ago. You brush your hair and teeth, throw on some mascara, walk over to Topper's house, and knock.

The door is swung open, and you are met face to face with Topper's mother smiling “(F/N). What a pleasure to see you; what brings you here?” You go to speak, but you see Topper's head pop up from behind his mom, saying, “Hey (F/N), come in, Mom, she’s coming to the church to clean up with us.” she moves, and you walk through the door.

Topper takes you up the stairs to his room; you walk in to see Kelce lounging back, playing video games; when his head turns and sees you, he jumps up, walks over to you, and wraps an arm around you. “how are you, girl?” you smile hugging tightly back before you both step back while letting go saying “Pretty good going as usual” you all make friendly conversation for a few minutes before heading off to the beach.

Topper left separately from you and Kelce on his boat to pick up Sarah while Kelce drove you to the spot, allowing conversation.

He showed you different places as you passed on the island while listening and car partying to music; at one point, he stopped at a house and said he’d be right back, and you presumed it was his house by the way he slammed the door.

When Kelce re-emerged from the house, he looked at you, smiling, holding a considerably large water bottle, shaking it in the air, hopping back in the car, and handing it to you.

Your face scrunches, and you lift the bottle to your eyes, inspecting it. “What is this exactly?” you ask questioningly; Kelce laughs at the look on your face. “Don't worry there, pretty girl, just some fuel for us for clean up; trust me, these things tend to be a little taxing.” With that, he pulled off from the house towards the beach.

When you got to the beach, you listened to the pastor talk a little before he sent you all off; most of the event, you spent with Wheezie and Kelce so as not to intrude on their time. Sarah did, although, come and ask how the surf event went, and you let her know only a few small league surfers showed up this time, but Dad's table ran well; he ran out of business cards to distribute.

Sarah also ranted to you about the attitude John B gave her and how he stole scuba and got fired, blaming Sarah, but she didn’t tell Ward. You frowned at the fact he stole, not seeing the reason he would need to return something you’re stealing; essentially, the boy lost a job over the air, but you shrugged, saying, “I don’t know, Sarah, he’s gone through a lot maybe give him a little slack, he’s alone now. he misses his dad and is trying to figure it out on his own.” she stares a moment kinda shaking her head and squinting her eyes.

She also asked if you could help her cover if Ward calls looking for her and says she’s staying with you, and you agree; after these conversations, Topper comes back to walk with Sarah a bit, leaving you to talk to Wheezie also at some point during the conversation Kelce had disappeared.

As you walk up and down cleaning the surf with Wheezie, you hear her scoff, watching Topper and her sister; you look at her, eyebrow arched, asking, “What is it, Wheez?”

She whips her head to you with a scowl. “Sarah is what it is? She has been sneaking around, and she’s not telling me anything, but I saw John B leave the boat the other day, and she’s been sleeping there; she’s just being weird.”

Wheezie continues walking with you, throwing trash she sees in bags and stomping her feet; this makes you slow a bit, and say to her, “I used to think the same thing about my brother until he covered for me one day when I really needed him to.”

You stop waiting for the girl to turn to you, and she does, getting ready to say something, but before she can, you smile, cutting her off. “You may not understand or like your sister's actions or decisions, but she’s the only sister you've got, and she’s always going to love and protect you no matter how mad you get. Just remember that.” she sits thinking for a moment, slowly shaking her head

When you feel an arm wrap around your shoulder, you stiffen slightly until you see the mystery liquid from earlier shoved in your face; you hear Kelce through a chuckle behind you, saying, “Need a fill-up.”

You grab the bottle, take a sip, and wince at its strength. You hand it back to Kelce, and he walks to Sarah and Topper, you and Wheezie not far behind, and has them take a drink. Wheezie grabs it, making your jaw drop, and you start laughing while Sarah asks Wheezie, “Since when did you start drinking?” She shrugs and smiles. “Today.” This makes Sarah scold Kelce.

You all giggle, and suddenly, the Pastor walks around the corner to ask how you’re all doing. Topper calls to him, “Looking great, sir, we’re,” Kelce adds, “clearing the stretch.” he hides the water bottle of alcohol while you and Sarah say simultaneously, “Just hydrating.”

Eventually, it is the end prayer, and you guys are heading out; you tell Kelce you will head back with Topper and Sarah to help her on mission ‘Ward doesn't need to know.’

Sarah will ride back to your house with you, so Ward thinks she’s there. So Tooper drives you back to Tannyhill, and when you see Rafe's bike out front, it makes your heart skip.

Suddenly, Wheezie is pushing past you and Sarah, fast walking on the dock back to the house; you both exchange a bemused look and follow her slowly into the house.

As you go upstairs, you can hear Wheezie getting sick, and you look to Sarah, who shakes her head, letting you know she’ll be good. You walk to Sarah’s room, peeking to see if Rafe is home, but his door is closed, so you go into Sarah’s room, choose a book from her bookshelf, and lie on her bed looking through it.

When Sarah comes back, she asks you to talk to Ward with her, so you make your way down to the porch; on the way there, you and Sarah can hear Ward scolding Rafe; you stand back while Sarah sneaks up to listen; you can hear little bits, but it just makes you look down at your shoes to keep yourself from feeling too much guilt intruding.

At one point, you catch Ward's voice becoming more stern than before. “You need to get it together, Rafe, or you can go live on the Cut.” You don’t hear a response, but you do listen to him raising his voice at him and repeating himself and scolding Rafe for laughing at him.

What makes your blood boil is when you hear him say to his son, “Now get out of here; I’m sick of looking at you.” They go back and forth until Rafe walks through the door. And he hears Sarah, and he looks at her with so much coldness, scoffing and turning.

When you both make eye contact, it’s like everything goes on pause; you go to say his name, but the rage and wounded look in his eyes overtake you; he shakes his head and continues walking; you follow slightly, saying, “Rafe-wait” and your heart dropped when he kept going straight out the door.

Turning back to Sarah when she called your name, a slightly confused look shakes her to the porch; you slowly and cautiously move towards the porch, now feeling somewhat different about the man on the other side.

When Rafe made it to his bike, he whispered a hard “fuck” and then got on his motorcycle off to Barry’s to try and make up for all of this.

————————————————————————

On the drive to your house, music plays in the background; you don’t say much as you get closer; you finally speak up, saying, “Does Ward always talk to Rafe like that?” Sarah looks at you, squinting slightly, almost like she doesn’t know why you care. “I know he may seem charming to you (F/N), but it’s an act. Rafe sees everything and anything as property, and the more you have, the better you are; he’s got problems.” She shakes her head, looking forward, and you park the Jeep in your driveway.

Sarah turns, grabbing you by the hand, looking into your eyes, an earnest look on her face. “I know you may like him (F/N), but I care for you, and I don’t want him to mess around with you as he does with everybody else.” you slowly shake your head and say, “We’ll have to see what time will do.” with that, you’re slipping your hand from hers and opening the door smiling your usual smile but with slight discomfort and disappointment shadowing you “Have fun with Top Sarah.” she starts to say “(F/N)—“ but you’ve already closed the Jeeps door and are disappearing into your house.

When you enter, your mom and dad see you come through the kitchen entryway to the stairs, your mother trying to stop you at the bottom. “Hey Peanut, how was the beach cleanup?” both your parents stair at you, expecting excitement as usual, but they’re met with your back, and you say, “Fine.” they let you continue up the stairs after you are gone from view your parents look at each other, and your mom says “I’ve got it.”

When your mom knocks on the door, you are lying on your bed holding the sea shell bracelet you and Luca made when you were eight.

He had gone and found all the shells, and your parents helped you both get the tools to glue hooks, and you made it a bracelet, then Luca insisted you keep it. Sometimes, you wish you could ask him what to do cause he was the only one who knew you.

You hear a knock and sit up to see your mom open the door; she comes to sit in your bed with you a moment before saying, “Honey, what’s going on?” you sit for a short time, and she sits next to you, rubbing circles in your upper back.

After a while, you speak up, “The people out here seem so mixed up, like that Ward Cameron mom today. I literally heard him say to his son’s face he is sick of looking at him who even says that to their child.”

You throw your head in your hand, shaking it. “Also, there is Sarah; don’t get me wrong, I like her, but she’s so judgmental of him.” Saying this makes you stand, turning to look at your mom. “This whole island does, Mom; he’s been so sweet; he reminds me so much of Luca.” this part makes you pause, looking wide-eyed at your mom, who looks back softly.

A long moment passed, and your mom stood walking to you, taking your shoulder in her hands, brushing a hair from your eyes, and gently saying, “My sweet girl, the world will sometimes turn the victim into a villain, but you, my girl are so bright do what you know best ride the waves let it take you where you know” she kisses your forehead and leaves you to think.

————————————————————————

A few hours later, Rafe’s at Topper's getting ready for the party; when he’s in Topper's room grabbing the coke from his bag, he sees you lying on your window seal, looking out towards the bit of the sea. You can see at the back edge of the house, and your windows open, you are singing along to “In My Mind’ by Lyn Lapid

Rafe sees the sadness in your eyes; even from this far, your brow is creased, which makes him want to come over and run his thumb to make your face rest; it is too pretty to look so sad.

He opens Topper’s window, hearing fully now your voice rings out, singing; he sits on the edge and watches as your voice carries through the window.

Your skin seems to have a soft glow on it from the lights of your room. Your hair was wet like you’d let it dry after jumping straight in the ocean, creating beachy waves, making it look layered in beautiful shades of (H/C).

He listens to the words in the song but in your tone, making it feel like it’s just for him; he hears you sing

“Oh, but darling, running ain't enough to escape from

The monsters in my brain

People say I'm quiet most of the time

If only you knew what goes on in my mind.”

At this point, he can’t help but lean out, calling to you, “Your voice is very angelic; it reminds me of something.” your head whips towards Rafe's face, beaming, “Hey, Rafe.” immediately, your face drops.

You say, trying not to be loud but just enough for him to hear you. “are you okay?” he shakes his head, smiling. “Don’t worry bout me, angel; say how you would like to come to the party tonight.” you nod your head immediately, making Rafe smirk as you close your window.

He watches you scurry around your room, getting ready and still smiling, hoping for something good.

————————————————————————

By the time you make it over to Topper's house, there are people everywhere, and you are bumping into someone everywhere you walk till you feel a warm hand grabbing yours; you meet the smiling face of Kelce with a drink in his other hand. “Hey, I didn’t know you were coming.” you smile back and move your face to his ear cause the music and people are so loud, saying to him, “I wasn’t, but someone asked me to come.”

This makes Kelce smile almost shyly, and he turns his head to your ear as he says, “Cmom, let’s get you a drink, and we’ll chill by the pool; it’s less crowded.” you shake your head, eyes scanning the crowd for any sign of Rafe but you don’t see anything over the number of people. It’s so crowded you kept getting pushed, so you’ll hope he looks for you soon.

You were by the pool sipping a Gin and Sprite, talking to Kelce and a girl named Myra when you heard people yelling, “Toppers on the roof.” you looked over, laughing, knowing this is exactly what your friends back home would do Kelce nudges you whispering “10 bucks he belly flops” This makes you laugh throwing your head back grabbing his arm to steady yourself

You look at him with seriousness, saying, “I’m not gonna bet on my friend's pain, but 20 bucks he gets Sarah out there with him, and she freaks out halfway down,” giving him an evil smile.

He laughs, throwing his arms around your shoulders and pulling you closer to his side. You wrap your arm around his waist while he says, “You know, I like how you think I think we’re gonna be real good friends.”

You laugh again, laying your head on his shoulder, saying, “We are friends, weirdo,” watching Sarah and Tooper jump from the roof, you both celebrating for them and laughing as he hands you a 20 since you called it.

From afar, Rafe could feel his chest constrict, and his blood started to boil. You and Kelce were looking way too cozy for his liking. He didn’t even know you’d made it here yet, that is, until you laughed at Kelce and ran off with the girl Myra he knew from being in school.

Rafe watches Kelce's eyes trace the other girl, not you smirking; he walks off into the party until he can sell the coke; he can’t get distracted.

He’s got to do that before he can talk to you and do the things he’s been thinking about.

————————————————————————

When you eventually see Rafe again, you walk up from behind with Myra beside you. You look at the table covered in drinks and money and some white powder. All of the girls are talking and staring at Rafe, and he’s charming; the one he sits next to is bumping knees with him, and he leans back all of a sudden like he’s relaxed. Topper walks by you looking pissed off; you try and say

“Hey, top you alr—“ but he walks past you, and Rafe notices him, bringing the girl’s attention to Topper; catching your eyes for a moment, you frown, looking from him to the enormous group of women to the powder and he continues catching your eyes every few seconds as he talks.

When you see Kelce making his way to you and Myra, you nod at him and slowly disappear into the house and push through the house until you make it to the front quickly; you make it to your home and slowly and quietly go upstairs, laying in the darkness of your room staring at your ceiling.

You thought about the act Rafe was putting on, and it makes you think back to the hardware store and all the comments about someone named Emma.

Was Rafe really what they made him out to be? Are you just another venture to conquer for him? These thoughts make your mind spin like a whirlpool getting out of control.

————————————————————————

After hours, you can still hear the music from Topper's house, but it’s gotten much quieter. You lay looking at the photos, missing home, your friends, and yours, and Lucas spots everything that reminds you of him.

Then, like a message from heaven, you hear the pit-pat of something hitting your window; you get up and peek out to see at the bottom, Rafe has little rocks from Topper's driveway and is tossing them at your window

When Rafe eventually sees your face appear in the window, he sighs in relief after he did that last sale and bumps with Topper; he had gotten up to go over to you, but you are already gone.

Kelce said he saw you go into the house, so Rafe checked everywhere; he even accidentally walked in on some couple doing it in Topper guest’s bathroom, having to do a slight double take to make sure your cute floral skirt you wore was nowhere in sight lucky for him it was not you.

You open the window, saying with a smile and harshly joking tone, “You’re gonna break my window there, Romeo.” he chuckles, looking at his feet, saying back while looking back to you, “Can I come in?” you shake your head motioning towards the front.

That’s where you meet at the door; you open it, and he can see the darkness casting shadows on your (E/C) eyes; you immediately grab his hand and drag him with soft feet up the stairs; he follows willingly, and you guide him to your room where the window his now closed along with the shades this makes his head tilt, but his head turns to you when he hears your quiet voice say “What was all that about Rafe.”

He stutters for a few seconds, but you stand patiently, waiting for a response before he sighs and says, “It was coke.” your eyes start to get comprehensive, but he rushes to you, taking you in his arms. You stiffen slightly and say, “It’s just a party fix, angel, not a regular thing. Plus, I was selling for a friend tonight.” you start relaxing, but he can feel you shiver slightly.

“Be careful doing that kinda stuff, Rafe; you could get hurt, or what if you get add—“Before you can finish, he cuts you off, taking a finger to your chin and lifting it so he can meet those gorgeous eyes looking back and forth between both of them mapping both of them out and how your face was twisted in worry and care.

Rafe smiles at the look, making a warmth spread throughout him, whispering as he gets closer, “Are you worried about me, angel?” you smile shyly, simply shaking your head, and that’s when Rafe leans down and captures your lips with his.

Slowly, you feel yourself nearly melting backward; you take a step back, dragging him with you, and he feels it too, the way your tiny fists curl into his shirt; he keeps on walking with you slowly, letting you guide him, lips barely breaking contact until, eventually, you make contact with the mattress at the back of your knees. You almost fall, but Rafe grabs your lower back, putting his arm out, gently laying you back, and caging you underneath him.

You both break the kiss, breathing heavily, staring at each other, almost shocked. Then Rafe feels your small hands come up to cup his cheeks, pulling him back down this time, you kissing harsher.

He feels the tip of your tongue brush his lips, and he opens his mouth, taking control and exploring the sweet taste of your mouth; he runs his tongue gently on the underside of yours, coaxing a small moan to ring through Rafe's ears.

You slowly run your hands up from his cheeks to his neck, splaying your fingers through his hair, feeling how each strand slides easily past your fingers.

He’s kissing down your jaw to your neck, hands trailing your sides until one ghosts the side of your breast and moving back down, you quickly grab his wrist, moving it right onto your left breast, putting your hand over his, moving his to grip the fat of your breast this makes Rafe moan and grind his hips down in between your legs setting off a small whimper feeling his hard length pressing your core he hums a gruff “Do you see what you do to me, princess.”

Suddenly, Rafe feels you pushing him back, and he quickly moves, thinking he’s gone too far, when all of a sudden, he’s staring at you, who’s wearing a smirk;

You remove your shirt, tossing it to the side; he eyes your breasts lying on your chest; they look so soft, and as your chest has made contact with the cold air of your room, your nipples perk slightly.

Rafe's eyes trail down, watching how your figure maps out from your chest to your stomach down to the swell of your hips and to your thighs still lying on the bed.

Rafe looks at your smile and your eyes. He then just quickly removes his shirt, dropping to his knees in front of you, kissing your knees up your thighs, whispering, “I didn’t believe there was any way you could get more beautiful, but you’re always proving me wrong, princess” you lean your head back enjoying the feeling of his lips pressing to your skin like a car heater getting warm after driving five minutes in the brisk winter air.

He makes it to the bottom hem of your sleep shorts with his lips looking up at you as his finger hooks into the waistband of the shorts. “Can I?” Saying nothing, you lift your hips, and he quickly tugs away your shorts, revealing your olive green laced bikini-cut panties.

Rafe takes a considerable breath laying his head face down on your thigh; he can feel his cock throbbing painfully below, leaking precum onto his boxers under the shorts he wore. he sighs once more, saying with his head still down, “I’ve wanted you so bad since I saw you, but I don’t want to fuck this up” you guide him to look at you.

“I want you, Rafe,” and with that, Rafe had his fingers hooked in your panties, pulling them down and kissing up and down your knees to your thighs; you sighed, relaxing back, feeling his lips and hands trail you when he hooks his hand under one of your knees; you quickly allow him to pull open legs and he lets out a breath saying

“Holy shit, you’re dripping wet, angel. I haven’t even touched you yet.” You whimper from the cold contact from the air but also his words when, all of a sudden, you can feel his hot breath right next to your core, and then you feel his lips pressing a chaste kiss to your soaking wet bud.

Rafe starts to slowly suck on your clit, one hand coming up to tease your hole, making circles around the opening. This sensation causes you to squirm, making him smirk a moment, saying, “You like it, princess?” you shake your head rapidly, stating, “Yes, yes, please more.” he immediately dives back in, unable to hold back, hearing you plead.

As he goes back in, he slowly slides a digit into your tight hole simultaneously while sucking your clit, feeling you immediately squeezing his finger tightly and pulling him in. he licks strips up and down your clit circling his tongue when he gets to the top.

He hears you making a hissing noise, so he stops moving his finger and looks up immediately, asking, “Does that hurt?” you shake your head, eyes closed, and head back. “so good, Rafe” you let out a pant making Rafe slowly add another finger moving them skillfully in and out of you which makes your back arch off the bed he pulls his head back lips glistening with your wetness “you taste so fucking sweet, but you look even better angel god damn your killing me” the hand that was fingering kept its pace. His other came down to trace the hard length in his shorts.

He kept his pace, looking at you and hand back to gripping any part of your body he could reach. He could feel your slight fluttering around his digits, and then your voice came in a small pant “I need to feel you, Rafe.” he wastes no time removing his fingers from you and reaching his hand to your mouth; you open and gladly swirl your tongue around his fingers, moaning.

Rafe lets out a groan, removing his finger and leaning down, grabbing your chin, kissing you hard, teeth and tongues clashing for dominance.

He feels your small hands tug on his shorts and say, “Please, Rafe,” which makes him chuckle at the whine you let out when you can’t pull them down.

Brushing a hair out of his eyes, he reaches into the waistband, untying his short's drawstring. He cups your cheek with a hand, looking into your eyes, and says, “Are you sure you want this? Cause once I have you, I don’t know if I’ll ever stop wanting you.”

The way you answer him is by tugging his shorts down to his knees and letting them fall the rest of the way to the floor.

Then you fall back on your bed laughing, hands behind your head, body strewn on the messy sheets from your moving around; you are smiling at him like he’s the only thing in the world.

Rafe smiles at you and climbs on top of you, slowly pumping his length; he’s smiling down at you. “You are something you know that right?” you smile, placing a kiss on the apple of his cheek. “says yo—“

Rafe doesn’t let you finish as he slowly presses his length into your opening, making your eyes blow out, and your mouth fall open; he brushes hair from your face, saying softly, “Shh angel, let me make you feel good.”

He moves his hips slightly at first. The feeling of your pussy pulling him in makes him groan and bury his head to your neck, sucking lightly on the skin, moaning at how much he feels you stretch.

You bring your hands to his back, nails dragging down the skin lightly, whispering in his ear, “Rafe.” this makes him rut his hips faster, feeling your legs shaking already, making him groan. “You like that, princess.”

“Yess,” you said breathlessly, gripping the back of his neck till it turned white under the pressure. He groans, feeling the way you tighten around him, and he lifts your leg to get a better angle, the other hand coming down to rub circles on your clit, laying close to hear the little breaths and whimpers you release.

When you connect your lips to his, you can’t help but release a moan at all the tension he seems to be pulling from your body; he smirks but starts to feel his balls tighten and hips stutter.

When he quickly leans back to pound into you, you bring your now free hands to grip and massage the flesh of your bare breasts. He moans, saying, “You’re gonna be the death of me, Angel.” his unsteady thrusts go faster. “God, you are so sexy.”

The pace he’s set has you whimpering and moaning loudly until you are nearly lifting your hips. He has to push you back into the bed. He's pressing so hard you know it will be bruised tomorrow.

At one point, he seems to brush the spot deep in you, sending a moan tumbling from your mouth with the words, “Gonna cum, Raf—“ but right as you are about to say it, your whining and cumming all over his dick.

The feeling of your pussy fluttering and pulsating on his cock makes him thrust one last time, letting out a throaty “Fuck yes, baby,” releasing his seed deep in you falling to hold himself over you catching his breath and leaving chaste kisses to your jaw, neck, and cheek.

He pulls out of you, and you can feel his cum leaking down your legs; he quickly walks to your en-suite bathroom, grabs a towel, and gets one side damp, walking back and cleaning you up, whispering sweet nothings about how your body is a dream and how beautiful you look even in the darkness.

Eventually, after you both clean, you crawl under your comforter, lifting it to him, who’s still standing on the side of your bed; he tosses the towel toward your laundry hamper, lifting the blanket and putting one arm under your head, you immediately curl into his chest.

You nuzzle your head, feeling his warmth and woody citrusy scent and rhythmic heartbeat. Rafe lays his other arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer, feeling your even breaths and smelling the ocean breeze and coconut scent. Both of you falling into a comfortable sleep feeling warm and content.

————————————————————————

The following day, you woke to the side Rafe occupied the night before, empty but still slightly warm; you blinked the sleep from your eyes a few times to see a sticky note on your vanity mirror; you hopped out of your bed, pulling it off, reading.

Angel Girl,

Leaving you in bed like this is nearly killing me, but Topper made me promise to golf with him. Meet at the Marina later. I’ll take you out. Thank you for last night, Angel. You are a dream.

- Reef ❤️

You smile, reading it, and hear a knock and your dad call through the door. “You decent?” you call back to him, hurrying for clothes. “one sec,” throwing on shorts and an old school shirt from last night and kicking your panties under your bed. “Come in.”

Your dad walks in smiling, carrying what seems to be some folder. “Hey, peanut, you don’t look ready.” you tilt your head questioningly, and he chuckles. “Remember we’re meeting Mr. Orien for golf; he wants to talk the deal over a game.” your eyes widen, and you shake your head, running off to the closet. “Yeah, sorry, slept badly. Be down in five.” your dad nods his head, leaving the room, saying, “Don’t rush too much. You’ll give yourself a heart attack,” and closes your door.

Then, 15 minutes later, you were in the car with your dad on your way to the Island Club for the business meeting; when you got there, you spotted Topper's truck, but you knew it was unlikely for you to see Rafe till later

Nearly half an hour later, in the middle of you and your dad golfing, you are on the third hole, and you tell your dad you want to walk to the main clubhouse and grab a soda; he shakes his head, knowing you weren’t the biggest fan of golfing.

On your walk back, you are thinking about Rafe and how you hadn’t felt like you did last night in a long time. It has been a year since kissing someone, still holding out for Luca. Something was different about Rafe; he reminds you of Luca so much in so many ways but is so mysterious in others.

You’re broken from your stupor when there is commotion by some voices ahead of you; suddenly, you hear a distinguishing voice: “Hey, Rafe, Calm Down, man.” Then clear as day, you heard him scream, “Stay down bitch” You walk as quick as you can toward their voices coming into view; you watch as Rafe slams a golf club right next to the ground by someone who looks familiar.

You stand watching him as he yells at the boy on the ground; your heart shatters watching the man who was so gentle with you the night before going as far as to leave you a note to wake up to hurting someone and being so vulgar. You watch him crouch over the boy, and Topper turns to see you, making you hurry into the bush so that he can’t catch you.

Rafe finally diffused slightly but still taunted the boy, Tooper looking back to where you were standing, eyes trailing to you, giving you a look of pity and fear. Your back goes straight against the tree as you hear them running off, and you round the corner to see the boy rolling on the ground, trying to get back up.

You rush, and as you get closer, you see Pope nearly tripping over the sand, and you drop on your knees next to him, hands ghosting over his body, saying, “Oh my god, oh my god, are you okay? I’m so sorry. What can I do ?”

He groans and says, “It’s not your fault, but help up would be much appreciated.” you stick your hand out and pull him up and help lightly brush the sand from his body

You look down and help pick up what he had. Pope is still standing. “I’m sorry, Pope, I can’t believe the—“ he grabs the things in your hand, turning while saying, “Just go (F/N); you don’t need to be seen with a Pouge.” he turns, walking. “Pope—wait.” you try and catch up to him. He is gone before you can even try to say anything else.

Hanging your head, you go back to your dad; when you reach him, he sees the look on your face, and when you sit in the golf cart, not moving or talking, he walks up asking.

“What’s up, Peanut?” you shake your head, eyes scanning the grass for the boy you saw who you thought you had all wrong.

Your mind is racing a million miles thinking about last night and how you felt so connected with him, and then seeing how he treated Pope shocked you. It made you second guess everything you thought.

Maybe Rafe was precisely the person they said. Perhaps you’d be another girl on the notch of his belt. Then you think of the note and the boneyard incident. You were broken in your thought when Dad nudged you, letting you know it was time to return the cart and go home.

————————————————————————

As your dad drove you home, you laid your head against the window, listening to the music he let you put on, ‘Logical’ by Olivia Rodrigo, playing slowly as you watched the leaves creating patterns from sunlight casting through the windows and on the ground.

You could see slightly past a line of trees, all the people at the beach, the sun shining down. All of them are smiling, and all you can do is trace your finger along the window's glass back and forth, trying to keep yourself from thinking nothing stopped the tidal waves of things hitting you from all sides.

You thought about everything with Rafe and how everything around him felt genuine and solid. You could tell Rafe was dangerous when you met him but not aggressive, and these thoughts scare you. There are so many complex parts of him, but to see him letting out his rage on someone who you know didn’t deserve it any sense not like that.

Then you think about your night together, how he touched and held you all night. He was so gentle; this wasn’t your Rafe, not the one you know at least, and you don’t understand why things with you are different.

As the chorus plays, you sing along, head resting now on the window, looking forward just staring off, ‘If rain don’t pour, and sun don’t shine, then changing you is possible. No, love is never logical.’

Your dad's eyes had been flicking from the road to you when he finally spoke up, watching you wince, making him break. “Honey, you know you can talk to Dad, right? Does this have to do with that Rafe boy?” you wince again. He gives you a sad look, pulling to a parking lot that looks out at the beach, leaving the car on but turning to grab your hands, making you look at him.

The second you make contact with your dad's soft brown eyes, your entire heart drops, and you sob, falling into your dad's arms. “I’m so stupid, Dad. I don’t know why I keep making these choices.” He holds you in his arms, running his hand down the back of your head.

“Honey, does this have anything to do with me seeing Rafe and Topper pretty disheveled leaving the sandbar walkway?” you shake your head, looking up at him. “It’s so much more. I am so confused.” he puts his hand on your cheek, brushing tears away. “My sweet, beautiful girl, if he knows how much you are worth like I do, which I think he does, he’ll show you it.” you shake your head. “That’s just it, Dad; he does; he’s perfect with me; it's not exactly that, but there is a whole other side he hides from me. I don’t know,” you finish looking down, shaking your head.

Your dad chuckles, which makes your head whip up “(F/N); sometimes people are afraid if you see a certain part of them, it will make you run; maybe he just doesn’t want what the people of this island say about him to shape who he truly is; he’s just a boy who’s learning let him come to you sweetheart he will I’m sure and whatever he’s done, be calm, don’t lie, tell him what you know and ask him; let him explain see his reason sometimes you don’t always fully know what’s happening within someone or around them” your dad wipes the rest of your tears and turning back to drive you home.

———————————————————————-

When you get home, you lay in bed with Rafe's note lying next to you on your bed right next to the ring Luca had given you; stare at both and think, what would Luca say and think? Would he hate you for your choices? You think about Jason, who’s always given you the best advice, feeling he’s so far; now this isn’t something you can get help with over the phone; you think about Pope and if he’s okay, hoping he is.

You think of Rafe.

————————————————————————

Across the island, in his room, he is getting ready to meet you at Marina and take you out. Finally, he wants to sit down and talk and know more about you; he puts on one of his nice button-downs and jeans and grabs his phone while running a hand through his hair, setting his phone on the counter as he clicks the call button.

My Angel ❤️

As the phone rings, Rafe brushes his teeth; it keeps ringing as he washes his mouth out until, finally, the call goes to voice mail. Rafe sets down his toothbrush and shoots you a text

Rafe🪸: Hey Angel girl, I’m about ready; when do you want to meet?

Rafe waited for nearly an hour before he got a response back from you that had him stirring with anxiety

My Angel ❤️: Not feeling well. Raincheck?

You’d never sent him such a short response; this immediately had him Facetiming you; this time, you answered, and you were in your bed; he smiled when he saw your face.

That all changed when he saw; it looked like you’d been crying, making him say, “Hey, sweet girl, what’s happening? Are you okay?” you stare at him, almost looking shocked that he asked, then you shake your head like you’re snapping yourself out something making Rafe frown and tilt his head. After you just stared at him, he quietly said, “Baby girl.”

This made you snap out of the wait, and finally, you said, “I’ve just been getting sick today. My stomach is killing me, and I think I should stay home.” Rafe looks at you worried, and you shake your head, starting to say, “I’ll be fin—“

Before you can finish, he says, “I’ll be there in 20 minutes; hang tight.” you were trying to say, “Rafe, no, wait—, “ but he was already off the phone, and you went to text him that he didn’t need to come that you just needed to rest and sleep only to see a message.

Rafe 🪸: Don’t even try to say no, Angel. I said I’d be there, so I will see you in 20 minutes, stopping by the store. See you soon

📍location shared

You stared at your phone for so long, knowing what you saw happen to Pope was uncalled for and unnecessary, but the feeling you have for him is something you can’t help; he already fills many voids you think have been gaping in you for so long.

You are lying on your bed holding the note from this morning to your chest, phone in the other hand, staring at the bit of the horizon; you can see bits of orange cast glow over the houses and grass. You don’t even notice until after you've sent it.

My Angel❤️: Okay, thanks, Reef; see you soon 🪸❤️

You hope you’re not setting yourself up for something you know will end in tragedy. Then you think of what Dad told you, ask him, be calm, let him explain. As you lay in your bed, that’s what you'll wait to do.

All rights belong to the owners of Netflix and the Outer Banks. I do not own any characters except OC characters. The fiction is simply for fun. All copyrights belong to the original owners.

[anxiouspotionofgloom]

Bonus Scarian prequel in the Demon AU

(Short 1.5k bonus chapter about my Demon AU fic, but can be read as a standalone since it's a prequel. I'm so weak to comments, someone talked to me about the early demon days and I blacked out for a couple of hours to write this. I'm trying out posting shorter fics to Tumblr too, but tell me if it's a bother... Worry not, it'll be posted on ao3 tomorrow or tonight if I have the strength. Nice day to y'all)

-

Exactly three weeks, five days and thirteen hours after Grian felt Scar's bones give in under his fists, there's a knock at his door.

It catches him in the middle of packing, stuffing whatever he could find in his backpack while pretending that his decision to leave the house was anything but the raw need to escape - the house, the thoughts, the lingering imprints of Scar left behind in every single piece of furniture they own.

The heavy fog of grief hasn't let go yet, and it takes him a few minutes to connect the sharp sound at his door with the fact that there might be someone behind it. It takes even longer for the weirdness of it to register. There had been wards surrounding the house, Scar in charge of the garden ("Sage, and maybe some rosemary too, that way we can also cook!" He'd grinned, and Grian had rolled his eyes before going to take some water and soap for when Scar would inevitably trip and fall into his stinging nettle patch.) and Grian taking care of the more physical things.

But now, there's someone at his door, and Grian has the sinking feeling that he knows who's waiting for him behind it. He stands, frozen, and tries not to let the wild beating of his heart escape out of his throat in the form of pleading words. What could he even say?

(When all had been done, there was no body left to bury. Except maybe his own, livid shadow pasted into the warm desert sands, painted red by circumstances and the quiet death of his heart. There was no body left behind, and all good demon hunters knew what that meant.)

Slowly, he rises to his feet. The few meters to the door feel agonizing, as if the skin of his feet has suddenly been replaced by exposed nerves, electric jolts of pain at every stumble through the path he'd walked a thousand times. In the span of a dozen footsteps, he rediscovers a world he'd thought fully explored, the crooked pictures they never bothered to straighten, the grandfather clock Scar had insisted they'd buy for a 'more homey' feeling. Had the door always been so tall?

Grian feels it, the moment where his stray thoughts gather into something much more tangible, strings of 'I miss him' and 'I hate him' taking the backseat in the face of the cold determination that something needs to be done.

He opens the door as bare-handed as he was in the desert.     

Scar looks more vivid somehow. That's his first thought, still caught in the momentum of his decision, and it makes something bitter rise in his throat. His colors stand out against the muted brown of their porch, as if the artist painting him spent all his time painstakingly giving him life, and made up the background as an afterthought. Like a painting, right down to the way his chest doesn't move an inch.

Later, Grian will admit in the privacy of his mind that it would have been easier if Scar had smiled his salesman grin, all fake and sweet. But he doesn't, and Grian is left feeling off-kilter when green eyes drink in the sight of him and Scar breathes for the first time in probably a long while. "Grian."

His nails dig into the wood of the door, and he carefully stands behind the threshold of their house. "Do you think-" His voice cracks in the middle of his words, in part due to the unfamiliarity of it after weeks in silence, and in part due to the pure rage pulsing in his veins. "Do you think I won't kill you because you're wearing his face?"

Scar doesn't quite smile, but bears his razor-sharp teeth all the same. "It didn't stop you the first time, did it?"

The blow hits him two ribs shy of his heart, and Grian hisses a breath through lungs full of pain. "You're not welcome here."

"After all we've done together?" He pouts, but doesn't try to step over the boundary of Grian's house. His words rang true enough, and even his kind cannot ignore this kind of warning. "Not even an apology for killing me?"

The words seep under his skin like acid, and Grian is the last person left behind in a house set ablaze. "You let me win." It escapes the numbness of his lips, and it's too vulnerable to be taken back.

"Because I loved you." It echoes in his ears before the full weight of it settles in his brain, right at home in between the last of Scar's breaths and the icy feeling of Them. I loved you. I loved you. Loved.

Scar searches for something in his eyes, and he must find it because he smiles, this time soft. "I still do. Love you I mean."

When his heart tentatively beats again, Grian wills the shuddering relief away, because Scar had been a lot of things, but he'd never been cruel before. "Stop pretending to be him."

There. The first flicker of something that is not a careful facade. If this demon shares Scar's face, he also shares his weaknesses, and Grian had learned how to pry him open long ago. He's growing annoyed.

"C'mon Grian. You're not stupid. We both know I wasn't human when we first met." The conversation derails. He feels it, full-speed car driving right over the barriers as the kinetic force of the crash transforms the air in his lungs into glass shards.   

"You were human enough." He hears himself saying, and winces at the wrongness of it.

"And now I'm not?" Uncomfortable question with an even more uncomfortable answer. The sparks in Scar's eyes are telling. Sometimes Grian's silence meant more than his words.

The conversation needs to get back on track. "What are you doing here?" Now that it's clear the demon isn't here to kill him, he forces his muscles to relax. It feels even more painful than the previous rigidity of his body. He'd suffered rigor mortis once, and it had been far more pleasant than whatever this thing in between them is.

Scar shrugs, body loose against the wood of their porch. "Just wanted to see how you were doing." Grian can't help the bitter laugh. "Satisfied?" He must paint quite the picture. If Scar had looked vivid, then Grian must be the dullest grey in existence. Grief had snuffed out all the colors in his life, until all that was left was this gaping wound in his heart and his hands.

There isn't any pity in Scar's eyes, because all of the space is already taken by the softness burning Grian's skin where it touched it. "You look tired." At least he'd refrained from saying 'in pain', or even worse lonely.

Passing a hand through his hair, a gesture that was Scar's before it was Grian's, he hisses, cornered animal. "Get out."

Scar arches an eyebrow. "You're a demon hunter, aren't you supposed to be chasing me?"

The next words out of his throat sound wet, but it's better than the pleading threatening to fall out of it. "Not tonight." He wants, with almost blind desperation, to go back in time an hour, when he'd just been on the verge of leaving. Then, it was just him and his pain, instead of this fragile thing, a living heart made of iron nails. But that's just the thing about time, isn't it? It snaps back into place, elastic band stretched too far. Scar would have always been waiting, behind that door, and Grian would have always opened it. (There is no version in which Orpheus does not look back, and there is no world in which love doesn't hurt.)

Scar relents. The two of them stand on their side of the door. "I'll stay around for the rest of the night. You should try to sleep."

"Don't." He chokes out. "I know the price for you to stay." Souls, as it always tended to be. To come here in the human realm, Scar must have been invited. And such invitations always came at a cost. The tips of his horns are sharp, and the brightness of his smile stings: Scar has been well-fed.

Tipping an imaginary hat, he winks. "Worry not, concerned citizen, consider this one free of charge." His gaze briefly flickers down to Grian's chest before his hand comes up to his lips, sending him a kiss. The warmth of it almost tingles against his cheek.

A blink, and there's nothing left of him but a wisp of smoke, already dissipating in the air.

He closes the door, trying for a slam and ending up with a sharp click, before sinking to the ground, trying to remember how to coordinate his gangly limbs into something that is not a grotesque imitation of a human being.

Back flat against the wall, staring at the wonky table they never got around to fixing, Grian tries to convince himself this conversation didn't mean anything as the adrenaline slowly fizzles out of his system, leaving him groggy and disorientated. He fails, but in the quiet of the dark it doesn't seem as important as he'd thought it'd be.

In the morning, he wakes up to cricks in his neck and the awful feeling of unbrushed teeth against his tongue. There's a blanket around his body he doesn't remember getting.

[cas-coding]

He’s seven when it hits him.

Sam’s pulling at Dean’s pigtails, his new favorite pastime as Dean makes dinner, just a quick box of stovetop mac and cheese for them tonight. Their dad was supposed to be home hours ago, but Dean had learned quickly that John didn’t care about getting home on time, not when he could make a quick detour to the liquor store.

“Deanna!” Sam screams playfully, pulling on a fistful of Dean’s hair, “Deanna, I’m hungry!” The words sting, but Dean’s not really sure why, why he’s been so much angrier at Sam since he picked up the habit of mockingly calling him Deanna, using his full name rather than the cute ‘Dee’ he used to call him.

Ignoring it, Dean sets a bowlful of mac and cheese in front of his little brother, praying it will buy him time as he slips into the bathroom. The door clicks shut softly and Dean’s breathing picks up, heaving in lungful after lungful of air as he looks at himself in the mirror.

He’s got pigtails in his hair, little pink elastics holding the two clumps of hair on top of his head, the bottoms of the pigtails still brushing against his shoulders as he turns his head. His hair is blonde, just like his mom, but he looks in the mirror and he hates it, hates to see a juvenile reflection of his own mother staring back at him.

Walking away from the mirror, Dean sighs and sits down on top of the toilet lid, pretending for one minute that he’s not in some scummy motel room, but that he’s home, that he’s just brushing his teeth before his mom will come tuck him into bed. What would he do then?

His hands find the hem of the skirt he’s wearing, frayed from a year of constant wear. It was easier to have him in skirts all the time, Dean knew that, he was growing so fast that pants wouldn’t fit for more than a couple months. Dad was saving money with Dean, refusing to buy him a solid pair of jeans, but he bought Sam new pants every other month, so why was Dean any different?

Then Dean is tearing at the fabric, ripping a long slit in the skirt before finding another place along the hem and doing the same. This isn’t who he is, it never was, so why is his dad trying to make him something he’s not?

Back when his mom was still alive, when she’d tuck him in at night, she’d press a kiss to his forehead and tell him he was loved. She’d say, “I love you, Deanna. Sleep tight,” and close the door, nightlight flickering away in the corner. He hadn’t had an issue with his name then. He’d wake up in the morning and put on jeans and a t-shirt, run around the neighborhood, climb trees in the backyard. He’d come inside for a PB&J sandwich and his mom would press a kiss to his forehead, muttering softly, “My little tomboy,” before tending to Sam, whispering in turn to him, “My baby boy.” Why didn’t Dean ever get to be his mom’s baby boy?

Soon enough, Dean’s down on his hands and knees, frantically shuffling through the cabinet under the sink, hands digging through his father’s duffel bag. There had to be something there, anything Dean could use. His fingers brush against his dad’s electric shaving razor, grabbing at it as fast as he can.

Dean’s hair falls to the ground in clumps. First the ponytails, the little pink elastic still wrapped around the hair as it sits on the dirty tile floor, then little hairs as Dean runs the electric razor back and forth over his head. Looking in the mirror, a part of him hurts, the last bit of his mother lying on the floor with Dean’s hair, but something inside of him sings despite that hurt; he feels like he’s finally himself.

Sam’s still stuffing his face full of macaroni and cheese when Dean emerges from the bathroom, ignoring his brother to run to their shared room. His hands shuffle around under the bed before he grabs hold of Sam’s travel bag and pulls it into the light. He unzips it carefully, as if it holds some kind of treasure, because it does. Sam’s got two extra pair of jeans, and they’d be short and tight, but Dean could make them fit; he’d just have to steal some of his own sometime, maybe tomorrow if their dad still wasn’t back.

Dean feels like he can’t breathe in Sam’s little jeans, the bottom of them squeezing around his calf, but Sam says nothing as Dean walks back into the kitchen and takes a bowl of mac and cheese for himself. It’s not until they’re both finished with their dinner that Sam speaks at all, pushing his bowl towards Dean and smiling. “All done,” he says, barely taking a breath before adding, “Where’d your pigtails go?”

Swallowing thickly, Dean stands up, taking Sam’s bowl and ignoring the question. He didn’t know how to explain that he hated it, that every time his little brother pulled at his hair he wished he would pull it right off, and so he explains nothing.

“Deanna,” Sam giggles, his happiness contrasting Dean’s disgust, “Why’d you get rid of your pigtails?” God, the kid won’t just drop it, will he?

“Dean,” he snaps, all the anger leaving his body at once, “I’m Dean, Sammy, or at the very least, Dee. Not Deanna.”

The room instantly falls silent and Dean turns to look at Sam, worried he’s going to cry. Dean wasn’t supposed to snap at Sam like that, they both already got enough of it from their dad. Instead of tears, there’s curiosity welling in Sam’s eyes, his head tilted as he repeats it. “Dean,” he says, slowly at first, “Dean, why’d you get rid of your pigtails?”

That question again. Sam was fixated on it, clearly, because what was he supposed to pull on and play with now? The kid loved pulling Dean’s hair, and now that it was short, he wouldn’t be able to. “I didn’t like them,” is the best response Dean can come up with, the selfishness of it sinking into his bones. His brother liked his pigtails, and who was Dean to take that away from Sam?

Giggles snap Dean out of his own head, Sam beaming at Dean as he tries to climb the counter beside him. “Wanna feel your hair,” he explains, and then Dean’s bending down, letting Sam run his hands through Dean’s short cut, smiling as Sam drags his hand across it and laughs. “It’s pokey,” he explains, and Dean runs his own hand through his hair, letting a smile show on his face. “You’re pokey,” Sam adds, and Dean’s almost offended before Sam continues and says, “I like it.”

[queenlucythevaliant]

Once, Always

(Edmund has an abundance of birthdays)

 .

“I say,” murmured Edmund sleepily as the fire burned low. “When do you suppose it is here? I mean—what time of year? Do you think it’s the beginning of September, the same as it was in England?”

“Summer,” said Lucy. “Certainly summer.”

Peter agreed. “I think it must be Highgrass, if I had to guess. Perhaps later. Greenroof?”

“If it’s Greenroof, then Edmund gets another birthday,” Lucy sighed. “Eleven or twelve, Ed?”

“Neither,” put in Susan. “A thousand, if you’re going to rationalize it that way. Now everyone hush, please, and get some sleep.”

.

Edmund’s birthday was the fifteenth day of Greenroof by the Narnian reckoning. Greenroof, late summer, when all the leaves were dark and broad. Narnian summers were long, but Greenroof was the last and best of the summer months. Greenroof was hunts through the dense foliage, blackberries heavy with juice, lazy afternoons, bonfires, wild romps, and the pleasant kind of sweat. Edmund’s birthday celebrations were always held on Dancing Lawn in the old days: the sort of long, laughter-bright nights that summer was made for.

. 

The second time Edmund celebrated his eleventh birthday, it was just past three months since he and his siblings had returned home from the country. Their house was glass-strewn and battered, but still standing when they arrived home. By August it was beginning to feel really safe again, but sometimes Edmund still woke in the night to find his mother standing silent in the doorway, drinking in the sight of her two sons returned to her.

The professor sent one of Ivy’s famous spice cakes for Edmund’s birthday. It arrived tied in red string, which made Lucy reminisce fondly about dear Mr. Tumnus. Edmund’s siblings pooled their allowances to buy him the new Nero Wolfe detective novel, and his mother gave him a new cap and an electric torch.

“How do you feel?” his mother asked over dinner.

“I don’t feel any older, if that’s what you mean,” he said. “Eleven feels just the same as ten did yesterday.”

. 

All four of them missed their birthdays the first year in Narnia. Too much else was going on at the time, and none of them was quite sure when their birthdays were supposed to be besides. The measurement of time was a thoroughly tangled issue.

The Narnian year had four hundred days even, divided into fourteen months of inconsistent lengths. Furthermore, the kingdom had only known winter for the last hundred years. The Narnians themselves were still remembering how the calendar worked in a world where the seasons changed. They didn’t have the words yet to explain it to their sovereigns.

. 

“Eustace,” said Edmund, “your journal is wrong.”

“Give me that,” Eustace scowled at once. “I know it’s wrong, but there’s no need to rub my face in it. Aren’t I trying to make up for how I was?”

“No, no, that’s not what I meant. The month is wrong. You’ve got September written here, but time works differently in Narnia than it does in the Other Place. Haven’t you noticed that it’s summer, not autumn?”

“Oh.” Eustace shrugged. “I followed Occam’s Razor and assumed that the climate here was different rather than time itself.”

“Occam’s what?” This was Lucy.

“Occam’s Razor: the simplest solution to a problem is the most likely—never mind. Well, go on, what month is it?”

“Highgrass,” said Lucy.

“July,” said Edmund at the same moment. “More or less.”

 .

They worked it all out one afternoon as the second spring of their reign was ending. Peter and Susan wrote out the English calendar on one stack of parchment while Edmund and Lucy sat down with the Narnian calendar and penciled in seasonal markers as best they could manage.

“The first crocuses came up right at the end of Cleardome, yes?”

“Yes, I think so. And the snowdrops were in their full glory that month too.”

“How do you want to deal with leap year?”

“Just forget about it. Narnia doesn’t have anything similar, so I think twenty-eight days for February is fine for our purposes.”

“Magnolia in Laceveil, yes?”

“Laceveil is a good marker in general. We ought to set that as May and go from there.”

Birthdays were guesses, no matter how much counting they did. Yet as memories of England receded and Narnia’s world blossomed into everything they knew, those guesses solidified into fact. Edmund turned eleven for the first time on the fifteenth day of Greenroof. He was the first of his siblings to celebrate a proper birthday in Narnia.

. 

The fourth time Edmund turned twelve, he received another electric torch to replace the one he’d lost. He laughed for half a minute, holding that gift in his hand.

“Really, you should have expected it,” said Susan primly.

"I did."

Their mother tsked and added something about keeping track of one’s belongings, but that was alright. His siblings understood.

Edmund flicked on the light and watched the beam land on the far wall across the living room. Bright at the edges and dark towards the center where the bulb was. He moved his wrist sideways and watched the spot of light follow.  

. 

Edmund might have forgotten about his birthday aboard the Dawn Treader if Lucy hadn’t remembered. She conspired with the cook to have a spread of Edmund’s favorite foods at supper (such as could be managed at sea) and coerced Rynelf into playing jigs on his fiddle afterwards. While they were dancing, Caspian called for a cask of his best wine, and soon the ship’s whole company was making merry like only Narnians could.

“Didn’t you have a twelfth birthday the last time you were in Narnia?” Caspian asked curiously as the party was dying down.

“Yes,” Edmund replied, “and the time before that too. Confused yet?”

“Ed has all the luck,” Lucy pouted playfully. “We always seem to return to Narnia in the summer, so he gets all the extra birthdays.”

Caspian's face lit up. “How extraordinary! When’s yours then?”

“Cleardome. There’s a year and a half between Ed and me, and he never lets me forget it.”

“It’s really not as exciting as all that,” Edmund added. “We’re not living our lives backwards, or unstuck in time, or any such nonsense. It’s more like—our lives are folded in on themselves, you see? But never the same way twice.”

“I think it’s more like music than anything else,” Lucy said, a kind of fond wistfulness in her voice.

“Yes,” said Edmund. “I know what you mean.”

. 

On the thirteenth of Greenroof, the Telmarines laid down their arms and surrendered to Old Narnia. The next day, messengers were sent forth across the land with news of the surrender and with terms for the Telmarines. Caspian’s coronation followed, and then Edmund woke and it was his birthday again.

Breakfast that morning was long and languid, for Peter and Susan knew that they must say farewell to Narnia, even if the younger ones did not. They lingered round the table with Caspian and Trumpkin and the rest, and presently Peter offered a toast.

“To my brother King Edmund, who is eleven and twelve and sixty-three and thirteen hundred years old today.”

Everyone raised their cups and repeated, “King Edmund.” Caspian nodded and added, “Long live the king,” with an almost ironic tilt to his head.

Naturally, Edmund nodded back. “And to you, King Caspian. Long may you reign.”

Another round of assent followed, and then Lucy cleared her throat. “But also,” she said, “To late summer and the rebirth of Our Narnia. And to the land, the sea, the hills, the trees, the sky, Cair Paravel-by-the-sea and Dancing Lawn and all the flowers that are still in bloom. And to the color green. To all of us here today, and to those who are gone. And to Aslan.”

“Here, here.”

There were tears in Susan’s eyes now. “Happy birthday,” she whispered, and squeezed Edmund’s hand tight. Edmund looked down at his plate, fiercely overcome with love for this place and these people. In a strict, chronological sense, it had been less than a month since his last birthday, but how did the saying go? Time was just a tangled string, or falling snow, or whatever else Aslan told it to be.

. 

“Bother,” said Edmund, “I’ve left my new torch in Narnia.”

Everyone chuckled at this, but Susan said, “Wait a year. We’ll get you a new one for your next birthday.”

[floridaboiler]

Back in the day!

Anyone age approx 35 or over should read this - copied from a friend ... Checking out at the supermarket recently, the young cashier suggested I should bring my own bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment. I apologised and explained, "We didn't have this green thing back in my earlier days". the cashier responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations".

She was right about one thing--our generation didn't have the green thing in “Our” day. So what did we have back then? After some reflection and soul-searching on "Our" day here's what I remembered we did have.... Back then, we returned milk bottles, pop bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles repeatedly. So they really were recycled. But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.

We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks. But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.

Back then, we washed the baby's nappies because we didn't have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 240 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that young lady is right. We didn't have the green thing back in our day.

Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Wales. In the kitchen, we blended & stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn petrol just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity. But she's right. We didn't have the green thing back then.

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull. But we didn't have the green thing back then.

Back then, people took the bus, and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their mums into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint. But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we older folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?

Please post this on your blog so another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from a smarty-pants young person can read this!