#i can do it easily in german

[someonewhogotanaccount]

I have an oral exam tomorrow and I’m really scared so please pray for me.

[marquezian]

u guys dovis biography is just an ode to his friends and what it means to experience life together in a community 😔

"the joys of returning home again and again" "i would feel more comfortable wearing a suit if there was mud on the starched shirt" "i wish motogp was about connection" "my friends, partner and daughter are a triangle of serenity" "friends are the mirror i look into to feel normal again" "i find even my relationship with my mom is affected by my fame, which is embarrassing" "life is for the time we spend together and going grocery shopping for the meals we cook" (<- this one got me so bad bc ive noticed he Loves doing that but i thought i was reading into itttt) "what would I have become if I surrounded myself with a court of jesters who are always telling me how good and handsome i am". says that the social atmosphere of the paddock is a "mine field". "starting from universes apart, we found ourselves here [note: being motogp riders together], different but similar: shall we talk about it? listen to each other? exchange experiences?"

mentions he doesn't consider any of the other riders his friends (which he regrets! hed like that connection) but then specifically talks about marc and how what they have is also special (profound is the adjective he uses) because its a relationship you can only have with another athlete. even compares marc to his dad (huge compliment)

SAYS SOMETHING SOOOO INSANE ABOUT HIM HERE first of all this paragraph starts with "A me Marc piace. E i nostri famosi duelli del 2017 li ho interpretati anche come un modo per conoscerci meglio." ("I like Marc. And I interpreted our famous duels in 2017 as a way of getting to know each other better.") and then THIS:

the following may contain inaccuracies: "Deep down, however, he isn't crazy either, although he tries two maneuvers [on their last lap battle in Austria 2017!] that are neither in heaven nor on earth. Theoretically, and even practically, they have no logic. Yet I don't get pissed off, [unsure what this says]. I'm rather surprised to see what he tried to do to win, a kind of "I don't believe it," an astonished curiosity at how he tried to go into unfamiliar terrain where, as a consequence, I followed. It's amazing. As if together we had dug the new seam of a mine: the gold we won't share, of course, because I will take it, however, we dig the earth together as if we were pioneers. And that can't help but create a bond, whatever it may be."

(source is his autobio "Asfalto" for all of this!)

[tardis--dreams]

Fuck it I'll just write it in english and try to translate it afterwards. It's probably the only way for me to get anything written at all

[spacebell]

im starting my yearly birthday existential crisis week early

[goldensunset]

cheers to this guest lecturer for nearly giving me a heart attack making me think there was a paper due tomorrow that i hadn’t even heard about so i couldn’t focus the rest of the lecture and like rushed home and opened the site to find there was nothing at all

[zarafey]

There are people in Germany like freaking out bc ao3 got blocked on Google and they are all like "omg ao3 got blocked I can't go on there anymore. oh I'm so lucky I still have ao3 tabs open etcetc" and like... Yes it's bullshit, get Firefox and duck duck go or any other search engine that doesn't mine your data as well etcetc...

But also like... The last time I went to ao3 through the Google search engine was like... The first time I ever went there I guess???

[mishkakagehishka]

With the language speaking poll, it varies from country (and state/county in the US)

In my area you're required 2 years of a language course

Most kids take it but do the bare minimum or just don't remember it. Usually you grow up knowing that language/being taught it young. Sometimes we learn jt in school and remember enough to keep taking to learn and remember. We usually offer use it or lose it languages, which most kids don't use it and then they lose it and then no one speaks other languages

Huh! That makes sense, actually, i feel like 2 years is not nearly enough to retain enough knowledge, and not even enough to learn a lot. I think when i started studying italian in 4th grade, we didn't even get to subjunctives by the time i was 8th grade, and subjunctives are a surprisingly common form. At least to the way I speak. And even among those who took the elective third language, i know a lot of folks who don't remember a thing about it, i'm assuming because even four years of a once-per-week class isn't enough for retention.

Well, it's sad, at least to me who is linguistically inclined. Quot linguas calles tot homines vales is something i take personally lololol but right! I guess it's the sort of inertion that happens to speakers of a lingua franca, there's no "need" to learn a foreign language, so even those who are talented for languages might never find out :/

Well, I hope thanks to globalisation, at least those who like foreign languages can find ways to learn even outside of formal schooling :>

[lilyliveredlittlerichboy]

British people are still a mystery I've yet to solve. they're all "keep calm and carry on" even though this *gestures vaguely at everything* is a situation where it would be far more reasonable to freak out and put society to a standstill. but no British people are all "yeah i guess things COULD be better, but that sounds like WORK so we're not gonna" and it reminds me when I was on exchange in Scotland and the amount of homework was tiny compared to what I was used to from Germany and something something working attitude. i called out the brits for being lazy when i was 16 and in the many years since I've only been proven right time and time again

[yotaasuke]

wish i could speak german causally around the house as speaking practice but nooo my parents literally dont speak a word

[viro-lil-goat]

I really hope this reaches more people, I'm only reposting this information from Instagram, the least that I can do. (Update: I changed their upbringing as it appears to have been listed wrong) Wiki page

When I just saw this information I couldn't stop crying thinking about it, and now my heart aches. They were the same age as me, I know for a fact like any other teen they dreamt of their future, who they would want to become, what to achieve, create, wondering if they meet those in the future they can call friends, wondeting if it'll get better when they grow up, maybe wished to leave that terrible place or maybe wanted to stay. How could anyone let this happen, why were they discharged from hospital so easily? And the school, we all know why. I hate to think about how, even with all the progress made, these things still happen.

"murdered schoolgirl Brianna Ghey on February 16, 2023. Candlelit vigils are being held across the UK this week for Brianna Ghey, 16, who was stabbed at Linear Park in Culcheth, Cheshire last Saturday. Brianna was a transgender girl and police are now investigating her killing as a hate crime. A boy and girl, both 15, have been charged with her murder"

An article that explains trans hate crime murders as on 2023

I hate everyone who have ever committed such vile hate crimes, I wish them in prison and hell. But i would never go down to their level. But I also blame the government, the school, and even those bigoted online accounts that teach their followers hate. In this case LibsOfTikTok, who targeted the teacher of this school, who supports lgbtq+, so they had to leave their position. It must have been the push for this to happen. I think their tiktok account has been thankfully deleten. But i have no idea about Twitter or any other. Please check and mass report them if it still exists. (Link to Instagram reel that this information is from)

ADDITION, PLEASE MASS REPORT THESE ACCOUNTS

[cuntastic-mrs-cunt]

guuyyyssuhhhh i really hate my german class (i love my german class)

[redeyerhaenyra]

Konïg discovering his size kink

Summary: Konïg discovers how much he likes how big he is compared to you

Warnings: Guess what! Smut. It's just smut. Size kink (duh), Doggy, Google translate German (I'm sorry 😭), Konïg being a bit of a himbo, afab reader, there is one time at the end reader is referred to as a girl in German, but honestly there's no other mention of readers gender so I hope the nonbinary pals will also be able to enjoy :D, let me know if I've missed anything

Notes: Reader is written as smaller than Konïg but he's so huge that anyone of any size can enjoy this!

The way I'm always so ready to talk about size kink

Especially with Konïg omg!!!

6'10 giant he really is my King

Anyway

I think Konïg's size kink didn't actually manifest until you

Sure he's not blind, he knows how he towers over everyone else

But it's like, it was never a part of his sex life till he was having sex with you

Like it just never occurred to him

But then, with you, it suddenly all made sense

He had you in doggy, fucking you on his thick cock in deep, steady thrusts

In this position he'd a chance to really observe how much bigger he was than you

Normally, when you two fucked, he'd be so entranced watching your beautiful face he'd have no interest looking anywhere else

Oh but now.. now he could see

How the plush skin of you hips spilled between his big hands, how they were fully enveloped by them

How he could so easily pull you back and forth, spearing you on his cock like you were nothing more than a fleshlight

A low grunt caught in his throat, dick twitching as the realisation of oh, he liked how much bigger he was than you

He liked it very much

Konïg leaned over you, pulling you further into his lap as he squished his whole body around you

He's so all-consuming, every sense is filled with him and him alone

He moans open-mothed in your ear, and licks up your neck

"Scheiße, ich hatte nicht... nicht gemerkt, wie sehr ich deine Kleinheit mag, Schatzi. Do you like it too? Ja..ja.. das wette ich, ja.." (Fuck, I did not.. not realise, how much I liked your littleness, honey.. I bet you do..)

After you and he cum, he finally notices how hard your poor litle muschi tries to keep all his cum inside, but it just can't help to let some leak out and dribble down your thighs

Makes sure to give it a little soothing thankyou kiss

Takes a moment to tell your pussy how proud of it he is, taking such a big cock in such a little hole, such a trooper

Cuz like, I know his dick is big!!! I know it!!!!!

It's proportional, shall we say 😭 your cunny working overtime so Konïg makes sure to show his appreciation to it

"Mein Gott, ich weiß nicht wie du das machst, work so hard for me, all of your strength goes into fitting my dick inside you, ja? Ja.. because you're so little, my tiny, tiny mädchen.." (My god, I don't know how you do it)

[soullessdianthus]

𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐯!𝐊ö𝐧𝐢𝐠 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬

Warnings: obsessive behaviour, dubcon/noncon for the last few headcanons (I've put a warning if you want to stop reading)

Poorly translated German, correct me if needed!

Important note at the end!

✧°.  König is a kind of pervert who fantasizes about you, when he beats his meaty cock with his hand, imagining all of the possible scenarios in his head.

✧°.  With you bend over the surface of the table or desk and him pounding into your tight cunt from behind. Your hair falls out through his thick fingers as he tugs on them to arch your spine better.

✧°.  Perv!König can’t help but stare at your breasts from above (thanks to his height), exposed by the cleavage of your shirt. A soft, plump flesh squeezed by a little to small size of bra. Did you do that on purpose to torment him with the beautiful sight?

✧°.  He wants to sneak his warm hand under your shirt and fondle them, play with both nipples until they’re perky, before he finally laps at them with his wet mouth and sucks.

✧°.  His cock twitches painfully when he sees you with a gun holster or climbing equipment on. The stiff material digging into your plush thighs, one stripe just under the curve of your ass. It gives Perv!König the new fixation he would like to test out with you – a shibari or any other bondage. 

✧°.  Just to have you tied up like a little gift and on his sick mercy.

✧°.  But there would come time, where the fantasies, weirdly specific porn and fucking his own palm is not enough, he craves more.

✧°.  König starts to supervise your training with a gun or in a gym. Instead of just verbally correcting your aiming posture, he would stand behind you, his bulky arms wrapped around your sides. He would lean over your shoulder and whisper a few words in German. Quickly and incoherently, but you didn’t understand it anyways! You don’t know German! 

✧°.  “Fokus auf das Ziel, nicht mein Schwanz, Schlampe" [ger.: Focus on the target, not my dick, slut].”

✧°.  Perv!König is delusional as fuck. He would interpret your confusion and shyness in such situations with succumbing to his flirting. Your eyes were begging for his attention, ja? 

✧°.  He would absolutely push your limits, telling you to do a series or two more in the gym just to hear your little whines and moans due to your hard work! 

✧°.  Not to mention how König is fascinated with your scent even after such an intense workout. The sweat glistening on your smooth skin, pretty face red from exhaustion. You looked exactly just like he imagines you after being fucked stupid. 

✧°.  But even creeping on you in the gym or armory wasn’t enough for Perv!König! He still wants more! 

✧°.  I bet we can all agree that he would be a panty thief, especially those used ones. König would take them out of the laundry and rub along his painfully throbbing cock just to cum into them! 

✧°.  And then he put them back in the basket and pretended like nothing happened. Although, he was a little sad that you didn’t put them on with his warm seed still on it. 

✧°.  This way Perv!König could mark you as his girl. <3

✧°.  Perv!König would sneak to the bathroom to peek at you taking a bath or shower, admiring your naked body from a safe distance.

[Dubcon/Noncon Warning]

✧°.  If you ever happen to get super drunk while hanging out with him, Perv!König would absolutely take advantage of your easily persuasive state. Pulling you into his lap, because it’s more comfortable than a wooden chair, ja? Just to help you relax, because you seemed so nervous about getting drunk with your Colonel!

✧°.  König would place his big hand over your stomach and slowly slide down, under the hem of your pants. When you started mumbling something in your drunken state, he was quick to whisper little praises into your ear, assuring he would take good care of you. 

✧°.  His fingers easily found their way into your panties – who knows, maybe it was the same pair he jerked himself into before? Perv!König took his time playing with you, rubbing your clit in circles, before he eventually plunged two of his thick fingers into your sweet pussy. 

✧°.  He had to shush your precious mewls, when he continued stroking that specific spongy spot inside of you, until you came onto his fingers, still sitting prettily in his lap. Like a trophy. King’s trophy.

A/N: This was highly requested and let me tell you ─ I have two more pervy scenarios in the drafts: Perv!Boyfriend!König and Perv!Landlord!König. It depends if you want to read those. Let me know please. 👉👈

[astonmartingf]

GREEDY ; SV5

sebastian vettel x interviewer!reader

. . . at the height of his career all vettel wants is to win. with four world championships on his back, his ego- out of the world, surely that's enough for a room in your life.

amgf i forgot to add this but!!! implied smut but no actual scene, yay! the first post in the main is greedy 😤✊ i love how this turned out, wrote it in one sitting too hahahaha i'm enjoying myself way too much, i hope you do to <3

death of a bachelor ; masterlist

“Nervous?” 

You walk out from the ensuite bathroom, finding the blonde German tangled up in the sheets, in that post-sex afterglow, hair- a sweaty mess, breaths labored, and eyes closed in blissed. It was indeed a sight to see, you’re proud, what can you say?

“Why would I be nervous?” Sebastian raises his eyebrows as you move closer to him, kissing his head before scooting in between the sheets.

“Your retirement? The media? My upcoming questions for the tribute?” 

Seb’s laughter filled the hotel room, wrapping his arms around yours, “Can’t let me catch a break can you?” he whispers in your ears, hands lingering lower your stomach.

You shake your head, fighting the smile growing on your face, “Need to keep you on your toes. Whatever will happen to that ego of yours if I praise you easily.”

Seb shrugs, “Understandable, I mean you praise me enough in bed, I think I will bust a nut if you praise me there and then in press interviews.”

Scoffing, you stand up, slapping his arms playfully- “You need to control that mouth of yours, it’s funny how you haven’t slipped up yet. About this, y’know.”

Grabbing your cheeks, Sebastian pulls you in for a kiss, “Can’t. Wouldn’t dare even. What’s mine is mine, and you are mine. There’s no way I’m telling.”

Lifting yourself, you straddle on his thighs, “You’re not that good at hiding either, other drivers are asking.” 

Peppering kisses on your neck, Sebastian groaned at the thought of the other drivers going to interviews with you. “Don’t remind me. I saw your interview with Lewis, and people are liking it way too much. Now I need to think of some snarky comment to turn all the attention back to you and me.”

A moan escapes your lips, laughter filled in between as you throw your head, back arching closer to Seb’s. “You’re insufferable.”

“I’m greedy. And I’m yours.”

You hum, letting Seb play with your thighs, “Is that why you brought me with you to Silverstone?”

“There’s nothing wrong with an early celebration right?”

You laugh, “Is that what we’re doing? Celebrating?”

Sebastian stops, pushing you back to the bed. Staring at his eyes, you see the hunger and determination inside them.

“Celebrating for the rest of our lives. Fuck, you’re driving me crazy liebe.”

sebastianvettel5

liked by interviewyln, lewishamilton, and 2,483,632 others

sebastianvettel5 how it started ten years ago and how it's going. retirement has never been better, all the things i want i have, and of course with you interviewyln

it took me a long time to even comprehend that i ended up with you. i was jealous, childish, and greedy. thank heavens that you gave me a chance, and here i am ten years later.

after my first interview with you, i knew i had to make the best first impression. who would've thought banter and snarky comments would lead us together.

and now, i wouldn't have it any other way with you and now with our daughter. i love you so much, thank you for being with me at my worst, and in the best times.

liebe, you'll always be in my heart.

comments are restricted by the user...

intervieweryln honey, thank you so much. i wouldn't have it any other way. through the thick and thin, we'll be together. i love you so much seb.

[dwyntwo]

Reading Six of Crows for the second time (first time was 5 years ago) and hOW did I never notice that Kaz wasn't actually a moody broody barrel boss?? He's literally so easily entertained!

Like this part (translated from the German version):

Kaz: "When we get our money, you can burn your Kruge to keep warm"

Jesper: "I'm going to pay someone to burn my Kruge for me"

Kaz *catches up to him*: "Why don't you pay someone to pay someone to burn your Kruge for you? That's how the big bosses do it!"

Jesper: "You know what the big bosses do? They pay someone to pay someone..."

Their voices got quieter as they walked ahead and the others followed them

I can only imagine that Kaz, the so called never smiling, no-fun, hardened barrel-boss kept going "Oh, but the REAL big bosses pay someone to pay someone to PAY someone to pay someone to burn their kruge for them!"

And Jesper replies "I don't disagree, but the ACTUAL big bosses pay someone to pay someone to pay someone to pay someone to pay someone to burn their kruge for them!" until Matthias eventually yells at both of them to shut the fck up

[thesoftestcowboy]

German* food poll but we have meatless options

A while ago everyone did those regional food polls and i wanted to do one back then but forgot... anyway. If you don't eat meat the options can be very limited in (traditional) restaurants around here. I wanted to do one with dishes that don't typically contain meat or can at least be easily adapted. Also yes this is kind of based on both my personal tastes and experiences so it's biased towards southern food, lmao. If you're vegan please just pretend it's a vegan version it's almost impossible to find options otherwise

*yes some of these are technically considered to be from Austria or France but they're still incredibly common in the regions near the border.