#i can't believe that the most fucked up shit on this blog is things that i came up with more than ten years ago

[sunlit-mess]

Hello, I hope it's not rude but I'm REALLY REALLY fond of your art!!!!! I was scrolling through your blog from new to old and found that you have Bpd,,,. I only heard about this condition, what is it like? If it's ok to know,,,!

hello, thank u! uhm it's something? HAHAHAHA idk how to explain it 😭🏳 lemme try to be as direct as possible

I'm high-functioning, but there are points I seriously just start showing symptoms.

Emotions: INTENSE as it can get while FEELING 99 PERCENT EMPTY. Something just- keeps you so.. hungry (not literally). Sensory is also another factor, and honestly I burn out a lot, tend to get overwhelmed n meltdown like shit

Identity: I either have BEEF WITH it, feel GODLY, or be so LOW, really low. I live with both passion and hate. I'm very confused. But I can say I'm just tired!

Attachments: Relationships are so hard to maintain bc of how much I fear abandonment, like bro I can't even leave my family as much as I want to. I'm more scared of getting disowned or losing my name. Love is a concept I long to grasp at the same time scared of it, I don't understand jackshit about " love ".

> I tend to self-Isolate with or without reason

> ...I used to test other people whether they can handle me or not, whether they'd leave or not. Not anymore though, but the thought lingers.

> Very- paranoid- about.. perception, neglect and invalidity HAHA.

Mindset: They call it Black and White, or generally just two categories to label my perception of things. However, I try to understand AS MUCH AS I CAN about a situation, etc. See what's in-between before I decide. that's really hard for me to do LOL.

> I always do my best to think and be nice

> I can be so fucking bad at the same time, only to regret it the next second or so

> My mind is scattered all over the place, It's exhausting

Trauma: I have memory problems and a lot to connect with that. Hate and fear is what I'm accustomed to. I live with a fuck ton of active predicaments like hell. Old wounds keeps reopening, and new ones never closes.

Impulse: shows in speech more than in action (THANK GOD LMAO I'D DIE IF I LET MY INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS WIN)

Habits: uhm. Ranging from sunshine and rainbows to SELF-DESTRUCTIVE. I get obsessive, like.. really obsessive.

Coping mechanisms: Usually I have mood stabilizers and anti-depressants n shit, but I don't rely on them anymore (bc I can't keep buying). I don't have good coping mechanisms even for physical needs. It's so bad bro. So I just end up drawing. that's the only good one I can list.

Living with it: Exhausting and an internal war 24/7. Does it affect me physically? Yes. Does it come with other mental factors and conditions? Also yes! But as one of God's most tired soldiers, nothing I can do but keep walking.

What I'm confused about: dawg last time, i kept searching about how conditions co exists like— Thats normal?? N the last diagnosis I was in confirms it does and nothing to worry about. BLUD I AM DEF WORRYING. Autism n bpd? u mean my behavior and shit isnt meant to be invalid as most people perceive — u mean these fckass experiences built that bpd? ☠️ WHAT AM I THEN—

(I'm having a hard time believing it bc as an adult, it's harder to process information like these)

[echoes-lighthouse]

for Alex - ❤️‍🩹 Would your f/o ever hurt you? Under what circumstances, or why not?

I love this particular selfship because asks about it always have one half of my brain like 'aww lovely daydream' and the other half of my brain is just sitting there grimacing.

Inside of me there are two wolves.

The funny thing is that I'm not so much of a masochist as a... sadist at my self-inserts' expense? If that makes sense?

Anyways let's get down to the question!!! Which is from my dark selfship asks, for selfships that aren't as fluffy as the usual assumptions in this community <3 I'll answer it under a readmore for folks who want to avoid the physical and mental abuse discussions :I

The short answer is yes, absolutely, Alex hurts me regularly for his own entertainment. I think that he sees me very much as an extension of himself, and that leads to some interesting dynamics.

I grew up with Alex as a constant in my life, and he's been testing my limits ever since I can remember. Twisting my arm, cutting my hair, stabbing me in the leg under the dinner table, I literally don't know a home life without Alex there as a constant unpredictable force.

The balance with Alex is that he doesn't want to hurt me "permanently," and he does that oh-so-classic tactic where he moves in cycles that are slow enough for me to forgive him before he hurts me again.

He's also protective of me around strangers, and even to our parents sometimes. They're not dangerous the same way that Alex is, but they tend to be harsher with me because they know that I won't talk back, and Alex gets in between us when I'm upset. Reinforces the idea that it's me and him against the world.

He lets his friends hurt me in very prescribed ways, and he's angry with them when they overstep. He uses me as both a peace offering and a way to possess his friends through me, in a way that he himself can't/won't. I don't think that he's aware of that factor, and I don't think that I'm aware of that factor at the age of my standard self-insert, but it's true either way.

[educatedsimps]

— how hq men react to "i like you"

they like you back but this is just how i imagine them reacting right after you admit you like them

≪ back to fics masterlist

the NORMAL ones who’d just blush and admit that they like you too (with varying thought processes tho)

↳ suga and yaku on a good day, yamaguchi after a minor panic attack (tbh he doesn't know if it’s a panic attack or if his heart is beating so fast because of you), ennoshita, kenma, aone, kita, ginjima, komori

the ones who would panic immediately. like their brains would short-circuit trying to process what you had just said. like what do you mean, you like them? YOU like THEM??? the first thing out of his mouth is “N-NOW?!” like no shit, sherlock 😐

↳ asahi, tanaka, noya, hinata, lev, kogane, bokuto, tendō but he’s calm first then he’ll be like ‘eh? … EH??’, goshiki

the ones who CANNOT comprehend 1. what you’d just said, and 2. why anyone would like them romantically (the poor boy’s a lil insecure sometimes, okay?) so the first thing he says is “why??” with the most incredulous look on his face (except ushijima)

↳ kageyama (he’s dumbstruck tbh), kenma on a unhinged day, kunimi, ushijima, sakusa

the ones who would ask “are you sick?” WITH ZERO HESITATION like, he’s in denial okay ✋ of course you’d get his protective and caring side out, and he doesn’t even understand what you said. i mean he does…? but again, he doesn’t believe it. yet. and yeah, he’s genuinely worried that you’d said that because you were high or something LOL

↳ daichi, tsukishima but he’s like judging you kinda, akaashi The Overthinker ™️, iwaizumi 100%, matsukawa but he'd probably say it in a joking way while he tries to process the thought of you actually liking him, kindaichi, semi, yamagata, kita

the ones who would freeze and believe it for a second before convincing himself that you’re joking. also follows up with "who paid you to say that?" with all the skepticism in the world. it's not that he doesn’t trust you, he’s just in denial 🤧

↳ suga and yaku on an unhinged day, shirabu, suna (he thinks atsumu’s pulling a cruel prank on him), osamu (also thinks it’s atsumu), aran, hanamaki and iwaizumi (they both think it’s oikawa)

the mfs who go "well, i can't fault you for having exquisite taste" or some egotistical shit like that, ALSO with zero hesitation. like sir puh-lease ✋ knock ur ego down a notch, you’re not allat (he is, tho)

↳ kuroo, oikawa, futakuchi, MIYA FUCKING ATSUMU

a/n: idk why but in my mind i just group suga and yaku together because they just give me rlly similar vibes (except suga is a lil more cray cray) and yes the two of them def have hinged and unhinged days but anyway i churned this out at 1am so excuse the half assedness of this one, i hope it was somewhat entertaining! i tried to be funny okay 🤧

© educatedsimps 2024. do not repost, copy, translate or plagiarize any work from this blog on tumblr or any other platforms. if you do, the simps will hunt you down. likes and reblogs are appreciated!

[kwanisms]

Kinkuary 18 Hyunjin — public sex // creampie

➥ idol!Hyunjin × gf!Reader summary: Hyunjin loves taking trains to visit all the small towns surrounding the city he lives in but what he loves even more is fucking his girlfriend in a train car with other passengers nearby. wc: 2.1k warnings: afab reader, adult dialogue, established relationship, sexual content (minors dni!): oral (m receiving), fingering, dirty talk, praise, use of pet names (baby girl, honey, angel, etc), public sex (sex on a train), reader is on top for most of it, sex in multiple locations, unprotected sex (just use protection lol), creampie, biting, and I think I got them all. Please let me know if I missed any! a/n: wHEW boy. This was fun to write because I had to imagine a train and then all the places you could have sex in a train lmao so that was fun. Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this and as always, this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only. banner made by me. I do not allow reposts or translations of my works. All my works are ©️ kwanisms. Permanent taglist: @yoonguurt @candidupped @dejavernon Kinkuary full taglist: @baldi-2 @wonderfulshinee @lacie220900 @sup-dallyboy @drunk-on-dk @violagoth @mixling-blog @kosmoreads @yourfavoritefreakyhan Stray Kids taglist: @niktwazny303 @g4megirl @rapmonie2047 @indigo35 @witherednotes @cixrosie @fay-ebrahim Strikethrough means I cannot tag you. MINORS WILL BE BLACKLISTED & BLOCKED. Join the taglist!

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"Hwang Hyunjin I swear to God," you hissed, dragging your boyfriend by the wrist into the small bathroom at the back of the train car. "Make this quick," you snapped as you locked the door.

Your boyfriend chuckled and shook his head. "Fine, but be careful what you wish for, baby," he purred, leaning in to kiss you.

[twenty minutes later]

"I can't believe you sometimes," you whispered as you sat back in your seat, Hyunjin taking his seat next to you with a very smug grin on his face. "Oh don't act like you don't love it," Hyunjin replied, throwing his arm around your shoulder and pulling you into him, pressing a kiss to your temple.

"You love this shit just as much as I do."

You rolled your eyes and tried to hide the smirk that started to form on your lips. He was right. Ever since you'd met and started dating, you learned that you and Hyunjin both got off on the idea of other people being able to see or hear the two of you being intimate.

Actually getting caught was mortifying as you both learned the hard way one day when Hyunjin's roommate came home early and walked in on the two of you in the kitchen, you bent over the counter and Hyunjin buried balls deep inside you.

Ever since then, you vowed to not actually get caught with your pants around your ankles so to speak but you both couldn't deny the thrill and rush of arousal that came with the potential of getting caught. Which is what drove Hyunjin to get you riled up, hands on your thighs, sneaking under your skirt while he whispered all the dirty things he wanted to do to you until you couldn't stand it anymore and needed to have him fuck you.

The two of you had snuck off to the bathrooms because unfortunately the train was pretty full at this time of day. Hyunjin always picked the weekends for these trips to the more rural areas on the outskirts of Seoul but you weren't entirely complaining.

Exploring the areas was one of your favorite ways to spend time with Hyunjin. Especially when he found a place to sit down and start drawing. You'd spent hours watching him create all sorts of art. He loved painting, especially flowers and landscapes. He'd started sketching people recently and you loved watching him work.

The way his brow would furrow as he focused on the rough lines on the paper and the way his teeth would catch his tongue as he worked. It was subtle but he looked absolutely adorable when he made that face but over-all, he was stunning when he entered his artist mode. And after finishing his work, he'd always turn his attention to you and shower you with affection.

There had been more than a few times the two of you had sit down for him to paint a sunset only to become entranced with you halfway through and needed to be inside you. You'd lost count of how many times you'd had sex in an empty field or on a secluded beach.

Hyunjin was insatiable for both art and you and you'd be lying if you said you weren't just as insatiable for him but he definitely brought it out in you. Before him, your days were full of work, binge TV and quiet nights in but meeting Hyunjin was quite possibly the best thing to ever happen to you. He changed your life for the better.

You were brought out of your thoughts by Hyunjin's hand resting on your thigh. Your eyes dropped to his hand and back up to his face. He wasn't looking at you, instead his eyes were fixed on the window beside you, watching the scenery fly by.

You turned to look out the window and noticed that while you were lost in your thoughts the train had stopped and quite a few people had gotten off so there were less people than before.

You continued to turn your head to look out the window as the scenery zipped by in a blur of color. You knew it was sometime in the evening and your stop was coming up soon.

Hyunjin had taken you to a small fishing town north and west of the city and the two of you had spent the majority of the day exploring the town, eventually making your way to the beach where you found all sorts of sea glass and even ran into a couple sea critters.

Hyunjin had of course sat down on some rocks to rough sketch the view before needing to drag you behind the rocks and out of sight of the beach to have his way with you.

He'd followed behind you as you went from shop to shop on the main street and stall to stall in the city market, finding all sorts of trinkets and excitedly showing them to him.

It wasn't long after you left the market with a few presents that Hyunjin found a small cove in an alleyway and pulled you into it, diving under your skirt, ravishing you with his tongue, and then stumbling back onto the street like nothing happened.

It continued like that throughout the day until you finally boarded the last train back to the city as the sun started to set.

You squeezed your thighs together as images of all the intimate moments of the day flooded your mind and Hyunjin couldn't help but notice your muscle tense under his hand.

He could only wonder what was going through your mind.

You felt his thumb caress circles against the skin of your thigh that was exposed to him. "What's going on in that pretty head of yours?" he whispered, lips brushing against the outside of your ear, making you shiver as his breath fanned over your skin.

"Just the day," you admitted softly. Hyunjin hummed in response. "Did you have fun?" he asked, reaching up to brush some of your hair back. You nodded, looking out the window, a calm and serene feeling blanketing you as the scenery outside grew darker.

"Wanna know what I'm thinking about?" Hyunjin whispered in your ear, a hint of amusement to his voice. "What's that?" you replied. "You," Hyunjin said breathlessly. "On top of me."

Your cheeks burned as you turned your head away from your boyfriend. "How pretty you sounded earlier at the beach. How no one could hear us over the waves," he added, hand on your thigh moving up slowly. "How you begged me to fill you up and paint your insides with my cum."

Your walls clenched around nothing as he spoke. He had a talent for working you up with his words and light touches on your body. "And then the alley when you let me eat you like I would never have another meal again. God," he groaned softly, taking your hand and placing it over his crotch where you could feel his erection.

"I love the way you taste. It's my favorite taste in the world."

You held back a whimper as his hand snuck under your skirt, fingers dangerously close to your center where he would find you wet and ready to take his cock. "I could eat you out for hours," Hyunjin whispered, lips ghosting over your cheek and down to your neck.

"I could fuck you for hours."

A soft whimper left your lips as his fingers finally made contact, feeling your panties already wet and sticky, a smirk forming on his face. "So wet already? What were you really thinking about, baby girl?" You leaned into him as his hand slipped under your panties, finger finding your entrance and sliding in.

You bit into your bottom lip, turning your head to hide your face in his neck as he set a slow and steady pace, pumping his finger in and out of your warm cunt. "Gotta be quiet for me," he whispered as he picked up speed, adding a second finger.

You grabbed his wrists as he stopped, plunging as deep as he could reach and curling his fingers up against your sweet spot, making your thighs shake and clench around his hand.

"That's my good girl," Hyunjin whispered. "Be quiet, sweetheart."

Your hand on his crotch started palming him through his pants, wanting to make him feel as good as he was making you feel. "Hyunjin," you sighed, eyes fluttering shut as he continued to curl his fingers inside you, trying to coax your orgasm out of you.

"Shh, angel," he murmured. "I know it feels good, but you have to be quiet for me." You held back a moan, burying your face in his neck and spreading your legs slightly. "Mmm you're such a naughty girl, spreading your legs for me like a little slut," he growled under his breath. "Just for that, I should bend you over in front of everyone here and teach you a lesson."

You quickly undid Hyunjin's pants, tucking your hand under the waistband of his underwear and taking his cock in your hand. He held back a moan as you started to stroke him quickly. "Keep doing that," he warned. "And I'll fuck you right here and now."

Your grip on his cock didn't cease, instead you moved faster, shifting in your seat to drop some of your spit on the tip of his cock, gathering it with your hand and using it as lubricant. "Shit," you heard him curse softly. "Get on my lap, quickly."

You shook your head, instead peering over the back of the seat in front of you to find the car mostly empty now. You leaned over, taking Hyunjin's length in your mouth, sinking down quickly to let the head slip into your throat and forcing a choked moan out of your boyfriend that he muffled with his fist.

You pulled back to take a breath but continued to bob your head up and down, tasting the salty precum mixed with your own saliva. "Oh fuck," Hyunjin hissed. "Either you let me cum down your throat and don't get off until we get home or you sit on my cock and let me fuck you full of my cum."

You pulled off him with a soft pop, smiling at him as you sat up straight. Hyunjin was quick, making you lift up and scooting under you. He pulled your panties halfway down your thighs and grabbed your hips, pulling you back and letting out a sigh as you sank back onto his cock. You dropped your head, keeping a firm grip on the seat in front of you as Hyunjin bottomed out, his cock buried to the hilt inside your hot cunt.

"Shit," you heard Hyunjin curse softly. "'M not gonna last long, honey," he murmured into your shoulder. You purposely clenched around him, your pussy squeezing his cock nicely and pushing him towards the edge. "Do that again and I'll fucking ruin this pretty little pussy," he growled in your ear.

A shiver ran up your back as Hyunjin grabbed your waist and lifted you off him just enough to thrust up into you. Your fingers dug into the cushion of the seat in front of you as your boyfriend snapped his hips up to meet your ass, driving his cock deeper into you.

"Oh shit, shit, shit," you whined softly, eyes fluttering shut as he continued to move. "Feels so good," you moaned. "Feel so full." Hyunjin let out a groan, cock twitching inside your cunt. "'M gonna fuck you so full, baby. Fill your pussy with my cum until it spills out. Gonna make a mess," he grunted, hips hitting your ass sharply.

"Fuck, fill me up, Hyunjin," you whimpered. "Cum inside me."

Your walls clenched once more, driving both you and Hyunjin over the edge and his teeth sank into your shoulder as he came, his hot load painting your insides as you sank onto him, your thighs trembling as your orgasm washed over you in waves.

After a few minutes, Hyunjin lifted your hips, his soft cock falling out of you and scooted back to his seat, putting himself back in his underwear and zipping his pants back up as you pulled your panties back up and confined his cum inside.

"You're so pretty," he said suddenly, reaching out to caress your cheek that was still warm. "God I love you so much," he added softly, leaning over to kiss you. "I can't wait to get home and go again," he said with a cheeky grin as you pulled back.

"You just came," you said incredulously, in awe at the sheer audacity of your boyfriend to be ready to go for another round when you just finished. His smile widened, kissing you again.

"I already told you, baby," he replied softly.

"I could fuck you for hours."

[emersonfreepress]

help i'm alive

So! Long time, no see. 2023 was a whole goddamn lot lol

I don't have a demo update to share yet, but that's because I had to scrap nearly everything I managed to write during a very, very, very bad stint of writer's block last year. I hadn't even realized it had been a block like that until I went over my work so far last month and realized it was bad -- like, trust me; a slog to read that didn't even sound like me. It's been extremely frustrating but I've finally broken free of that and it's been easy and actually fun to write again for the first time in actual years. I just hate giving updates that have no actual news in them. And I really had nothing to share other than: I deleted thousands of words and feel so much better now 😅

Anyway, little about my demo plans have changed: I'm still putting out the Chapter 3 demos in Choicescript/on Dashingdon and then will be going dark to move things over to Twine. Where I am in the process right now is... feeling like 35% done with the overhauled version of this chapter and 50% done for the next demo update.

As far as asks, I'm... not really sure what to do?? I believe I've read them all (I love you guys), but so much time has passed since getting most of them that I'm not sure if it's, like... still pertinent??? To go back and answer them?? I suppose some of them like character asks could be, but all the nice messages of support -- that feels weird since I've practically ghosted this blog since August! Idk. Y'all tell me what to do with 'em and I'll do it. Maybe I should make a poll.

Uh... that's really all there is to say regarding the game! I've added some personal stuff after the cut, but if you're done here: Thanks for reading and sticking around. It means the world, for real.

So what has occupied my time all this time? Doctor, therapy, money, and friends. And improv! But especially the first two. There was a lot of non-writing related stuff fucking up my ability to focus and write, so hopefully with my mind and body both feeling a lot better, I can get back to being present and active with the game. I didn't realize how physically unwell I was until last year and it's been like... life-long issues I've been treating. It turns out it's not normal to feel exhausted enough to sleep at any given time, at all times, for your whole life! wow!!

I also uninstalled Tumblr from my phone back in February, so you could say I'm sort of generally focused on offline life. (And what an interesting coincidence that my writer's block dissipated shortly after that...) I also just moved!! The last two weekends have been so expensive and stressful -_- But I can't even compare the old place to the new. We're basically paying the same price for idek how much more space. The cats are so happy; which means the house humans get to be happy.

My schedule is finally freed up from constant medical shit (there was a 3-month stretch this winter with multiple doctor appointments literally every fucking week 🙃🙃🙃). My mental health is doing a lot better -- literally incomparably better compared to where I was this time last year. There's live comedy now (which I dabble in, to be clear lol), but I've finally found myself able to like... balance it all. The physical and creative energy that goes into it all, anyway. The lovely thing about improv is that you kinda just show up and do your thing -- it doesn't cut into my writing time so much as it costs energy. Unless I end up in this comedy debate show thing next month, which I am very excited to give up writing time for

So like... Life is life-ing and I'm just vibing. Or something? I'll be around.

Thank you all again so much for your interest, support, patience, and readership <3

[flowerandblood]

ONE YEAR OF FLOWER&BLOOD

✨🎉🌙✨🎉🌙✨🎉🌙✨🎉🌙✨🎉🌙✨🎉🌙

Exactly one year ago I posted my first chapter of the My Best Friend series. Nowadays I think it's something awful and I don't even try to edit it because I'd have to write everything from scratch, but I've left it for people who feel attached to the story. I remember getting about six likes and one comment on the first day and that huuuuge interest made me eager to create chapter 2 and then all the others.

I remember the excitement with which I waited and then replied to comments, not believing that people were actually waiting for the next chapter. At the time I was literally not following anyone, which was good because I wasn't comparing myself to anyone.

Eventually I felt I was ready to try writing other series and a few were successful enough that I decided to stay here permanently and create because it made me happy. Up to that point, everyone had been very kind to me and I started following more and more blogs, wanting to feel part of the fandom, to make friends with everyone. Now I know that was the biggest mistake I made.

Seeing things that didn't interest me, fanfic's whose way of writing couldn't draw me in, I felt frustrated, while at the same time fearing that if I stopped following someone, that person would see it as an affront. At the same time, The Impossible Choice, my biggest project until The Fall from the Heavens (which I'm currently editing and re-editing, while inserting on AO3), began to be written.

Just when I thought I had reached the pinnacle of my abilities (which wasn't true), I also started to clash with anonymous hate messages, probably the worst of which were those vilifying me and my husband, and those regarding my one-shot with Micheal Gavey. I know now that taking it personally and getting involved was my big mistake, and the fandom was shaken by drama that got out of hand.

I was a few steps away from deleting my blog at the time, but my husband talked me out of the idea (thankfully, as my stories aren't saved anywhere else − I'm only now moving them to AO3).

That's when I first realised that some people here I don't even like, and they probably don't like me. I wondered, why are we following each other then? Why are we pretending to have any courtesy? It was only later that I realised that to be considered someone's friend, you have to reblog their work and preferably agree with them even when they write hurtful things.

Since I've depleted my circle of those I follow to about 20 people, since I've blocked dozens of people and tags, there's been blissful silence (with the exceptions of when I write about behaviour in the fandom that I find toxic and someone accuses me of causing drama, but I'm used to it now). I've also never written happier than I do now.

Ideas come to me on their own, I don't feel uptight about what other big people will think of me, whether they reblog it, approve of it or not. I don't give a shit and life is beautiful! Although I can be emotionally unstable, I'm only 70 people short of crossing the next milestone of 3,000 followers, and that's BIG for me. It amuses me that I keep getting messages that someone is going to block me or stop following me, and you guys keep coming. It's gratifying.

I'm going to keep writing for you guys, and I'm sure during season two you'll also see my posts describing my impressions after the episodes in which I hope to involve my husband. I'll also keep you updated here on how I'm doing with my book I'm creating in my private life.

Apreciation

@ewanmitchellcrumbs

Ange. I know that sometimes I'm fucked up, but I want you to know that you've made this place so much more bearable for me that I can't imagine it without you. What I appreciate most about you is that you can talk and discuss, that you always try to understand the other side, that you are empathetic, warm and kind. I feel that, like friends in everyday life, we can also tell each other about things we disagree about, and there are not many people like that here.

On top of that, you are very talented and your stories are always a pleasure to read, even when they are short, you are able to build the plot and atmosphere perfectly, something I have always admired. Thank you for every kind word and understanding.

I still remember your first message to me via ask, referring to the fact that I didn't want to write a pairing with a mermaid because someone else was writing about it at the same time. My heart melted then, it was so nice!

@targaryenrealnessdarling

Liz, Queen of Angst! Your calmness and composure puts me in awe. You're disgustingly talented when it comes to writing and you have a super-sweet personality. When you started following me I began to squirm with delight, and when you started reblogging my stuff? My goodness!!!

@persephonerinyes

You've been engaging and reblogging my stories for as long as I can remember. Always involved, your thoughts make me smile. Thank you for being with me for so long!

@zenka96

You've been here with me since the dawn of time. You know that I love you. Your support from the very beginning really makes me feel like I have a friend here.

@huramuna

I am so proud of you! I remember your asks when I wrote Glass Cuts Deepest, your illustrations for me and your uncertainty about whether you should start writing yourself. I'm so happy for you and that you are so successful! You deserved it.

@black-dread & @aegonx

You are my favourite gif makers. Your work always leaves me in awe, you are amazing! I know how much work you put into it and somehow you make even the worst lit scenes look wonderful!

@summerposie; @0eessirk8; @melsunshine; @immyowndefender; @bellaisasleep; @kckt88; @thedamewithabook; @happinessinthebeing; @queenofshinigamis; @travelingmypassion; @mefools; @fan-goddess; @toodlesxcuddles; @ammo23; @troublesomesnitch; @mariahossain; @out-of-life; @apothe-roses; @heavenhatesme; @whitearemydarkestnight; @liv-cole; @blackswxnn; @echos-muses; @watercolorskyy; @at-a-rax-ia; @tssf-imagines; @snh96; @hiatuswhore; @exitpursuedbyavulcan; @darylandbethfanforever9; @the-dendrophile-bookdragon; @opheliaas-stuff @zaldritzosrose

Your comments and reblogs make me want to keep writing. You make me laugh, you comfort me and you support me. I know I'm definitely forgetting someone, but I want you to know that I love everyone who comments on my stories and there is nothing better for me than responding to your reactions and questions! I have known some of you for so many months that I truly consider you my good friends!

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And everyone else I missed and whose icons I would recognize from afar. I know that you have been with me for many months, often in silence or communicating anonymously. Your silent support and presence is something wonderful for me, knowing that you have been with me for so long and read all my posts!

Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!!

[maximumkillshot]

Home

Warnings: There are a lot with this one and it hits close to home. Mentions of S/A. The R word is used, sobbing, anxiety and mental episode. mentions of self harm, mentions victim blaming and slut shaming. MDNI. There is fluff spattered around.

Pairing: BangChanxReader

Characters: Bang Chan, Reader, mention of the person who S/A, people Slut Shaming and Victim Blaming. 

A/N:  Okay so this one is heavy. The things you are about to read have happened to me. I had a mental episode a while back. I wrote most of this during said episode. This is what I think Chan would do for his S/O if they went through and go through what I did. This blog has always been a safe space. I use my fictions to entertain as well as a platform to have safe conversations. If you need me as always I will hang around after drop.

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“YN?” Your husband called out to you. You couldn't hear him from the pressure of today. It created a seething pool of frustration and anger as you kneeled at the foot of the bed, wanting to pray, but now that you think about it the pain of being on the floor was a sweet torture in and of itself. 

Usually, anger like this wouldn't be a problem for you. You would go down to the basement and punch granite with your poorly taped hands, yes you were only a kid then, not knowing how else to get the anger out only stopping when you'd hear a crunch. Yes, that was the start of negative coping mechanisms, and yes you are trying to either bury that anger or let it consume you fast before Chris gets home. He's dealt with enough, we don't need to add on to it.  

Now you're no longer a child… as a matter of fact, you are now an adult, an adult with a hairpin trigger vaguely yet expertly disguised as comedic sarcasm. Depression that you don't remember not having… maybe when you were 8? You weren't sure. Not to mention a cast made of a myriad of physical and mental health issues…. Disabilities… and the cast of characters just keep growing! You have the medicine and the “coping techniques”, they called it, for success! Even those fail. 

Trying to talk it out just made you more angry, the injustice looking more and more ludicrous by the second. Okay, let's try breathing. Yeah no. That didn't work either, it just gave your brain more oxygen, so your brain went from quantum computer speed to Sonic the fucking Hedgehog. Oh… ok oh oh! Let's try soundboarding. You know, talk to people, not yourself. That ended in yet another game of useless catch phrases like “calm down” and “you shouldn't be thinking of that.” 

TELL ME SOMETHING I DON'T FUCKING KNOW THANK YOU! Oh, and I almost forgot the “Your method of thought isn't changing because you don't want to change '' DO YOU THINK I AM POKED ALL DAY AND SAY TO MYSELF…

‘OH I WANT TO FEEL MORE LIKE SHIT… I KNOW LET ME RUN MY FACE INTO A BRICK WALL OF ANXIETY REPEATEDLY UNTIL I CAN'T CONTROL MYSELF ANYMORE.’

You reverted to hurting the people around you due to your anger and frustration, plus you darkened the mood, you've always been a multitasker. My friends were right. I'm depressing, I was only kept around because of my ex. That was before they kicked me out… because they didn't want to believe he assaulted me. You go back to that night often… 

“I didn’t want to do that, I felt icky” You told him after he came back from cleaning himself up in the bathroom, while you were left to clean the traces of himself from your own mouth. No aftercare, no thought about you. The ghost of a boy who used you, who was an on and off friend of almost 10 years…

“I know.” he answered with no emotion.

“Then… why?” You asked, your head cocked to the side.

“Because I really wanted it.” He puts his hand on your shoulder, “But I’m sorry you feel that way. Shit now I feel bad.”

Then it switched to those friends, on another night… “ I just don’t buy it. That DID NOT HAPPEN, I know him better than you.”

“I mean you did it anyway so you must’ve wanted it.”

You tried to explain that you were assaulted, it’s called coercive consent and it’s the most common form of assault. You were raped. You didn’t want to do it and he knew that but you wanted to make him happy. You tried to explain, to educate. They weren’t having it.This conversation at times whirls in your head. Making you itch to pull a trigger, do something to make the torture stop.

“You always overreact and you’re so annoying why don’t you just go the fuck away!”

“You’re so depressing just fucking go away! We only tolerated you because you are his girlfriend, just go the fuck away!” The intent in her voice. The reality. You trusted her most out of the entire group. She helped you emotionally… Now shaming you, blaming you.

Her boyfriend rendered you speachless when you called it what it was, it was rape via coercive consent:

“Oh I get the kind of person you are, you’re the type of person who gets felt up in the middle of the night by their significant other because they’re trying to get laid and you call it rape.”

You know the right method to take now, right… Yeah you do.

Isolate… process… torture yourself…cry… alone. Contain the monster, so it doesn't hurt anyone else… You're just a monster parading as a human. Don't forget it. This happens when you forget Y/N… stop being reckless. Always so fucking reckless… 

You started clenching your hands one over the other, wanting to rake the top of your hands until they bled, trying to ground yourself. Until subconsciously, you did. You rocked as you did it, trying to soothe yourself.

Sometimes you swear people don't see you drowning right in front of their fucking eyes. You know how to swim, you know how to get out, to scream, punch, fight. You want to swim, you really do. But you can only do so much in a rip current. The lifeguard sees you. But instead of helping they yell “PADDLE! JUST PADDLE YOU'LL BE FINE!” It's a different level of patronization. It just makes you want to let the tides swallow you. Because why fight when the waters are so warm?

“Y/N?!” Chris yelled as he saw your bag tossed haphazardly on the couch, never where you put it. He stopped and listened carefully. He thought back to the last text you sent him. “Shit hit the fan at work …I don't want to feel right now. I'll see you at home.” 

That middle sentence made his heart stop. He knows you… something was up. He tried texting you back, sending words of encouragement, calling, and leaving cute messages when you didn't pick up, and nothing was heard from you. As soon as he could get away from schedules he did. When he looked at the clock you had sent that message three hours beforehand, he never raced home faster. 

He knows what your mind does to you. He sees the battles every day. When he’d compliment you and you would look down, not shy, but contradictory. When he’d pick you up you would freeze and he’d remind you that you aren’t too heavy, that he loves you in every single way that you think is impossible to love you. He’d always encourage you to wear what you want, do what you want. He would caress every single curve, never being able to keep his hands off of you. Whispering into your ear in public as he tilts your head up gently after asking for permission. He’d kiss you so delicately in front of a sea of people. On the red carpet, on stage, it didn’t matter. You were and are his person, and he loved showing you off. He couldn’t win the war in your mind for you, but he damn sure would fight those battles with you.

He would fight away those negative thoughts, he’d wrap his arms around you and sing to you to will those images, the anxiety and fear away. Until those thoughts were rendered useless. He’d wrestle with them for control, as soon as he won your mind back he gave it to you. He reminded you that you are here with him for a reason. He adores you, and nothing would change that. 

It was something he promised you when he saw you breakdown while doing your medicines. You told him that you were ashamed of it all. All the illnesses, that you weren’t perfect and that you’d understand if he didn’t want you. He looked at you and helped with your medicines, learned about each of them, and their dosages. He was so gentle, smiling at you, wiping your tears. He looked at all the medicines and said, anything that keeps you alive is nothing to be ashamed of. You aren’t something to be ashamed of. He knows that sometimes you can’t hear him until he’s right in your ear. Now looked like that case.

You couldn't hear him calling out to you, your mind too loud, too vicious, bloodthirsty. When pain and self-deprecation are your main moods, all others seem like an abnormal concept. Something that is stolen, was it even real in the first place? You know one thing that was real… Chris. You hated being this… the medications, the constant fires in your mind, the barrage of hate aimed at yourself, of unbridled strength turned inward to rip yourself apart for no reason other than things piling up. He didn't deserve that. He deserves peace, the best… just like what he demands of himself, perfection. 

You got through the gauntlet at your job. People undermining your authority, people on a power trip of their own. Sending others to try to intimidate, embarrass you into submission… as if you weren't a bloodthirsty wolf that could snap any second, biting their heads clean off. “An Alpha through and through,” that's what Chris would say, “Even Alphas have to bite their tongue, Love.” 

That made you cry more because at this point you don't even know if your tongue is still existent, or if you swallowed the damn thing after you bit it off. Or worse… you still have it… but you lost your voice. You know that can't be it, we're too fucking stubborn for that.

But the hits didn't stop coming, traffic happened, then going to the doctor who said that the physical therapy you needed would eat into your personal time, your time to write, to cook for Channie and the boys, to spend time with Channie and the boys.. then you forgot the doctors note so you had to walk back in for it. Then you had to go home while you tried to talk about everything… and well now here we are. 

Even now you try to problem solve, try to nitpick at yourself, the person he loves so much. You collapsed more on the floor of your shared bedroom, cross-legged thinking of the ocean, the violent, dangerous, tumultuous ocean… something simultaneously so beautiful and scary. You want to say you are like an ocean, but you don't see beauty in yourself, only a beast. That's all we'll ever be.

Chris freezes in the hallway hearing a sob break loose from you. He hadn't heard a sob like that before, it chilled his core. How does he approach this? He sees the doctor's note thrown next to your purse… He was happy you were approved for physical therapy, you really were in a lot of pain daily from the muscle and tendon weakness, but he looked at the times…

He looked to the hallway, “Oh…Baby Girl.” He had one piece of the puzzle. He knew you loved to cook for him and the boys but this schedule meant you couldn't do that for the foreseeable future. You enjoyed seeing the boys eating, and staying fueled, knowing without that they'd opt for less healthy options. Then he saw the paper right under it. A typed log… a leger of interactions throughout your day… “No…” 

Right there, in black and white, was what you went through today, everything down to the sarcastic smirk your coworker had as you were barraged with pressure to break the rules… and you didn't break. He never would've expected you to. You are the strongest person he knows. Even under these conditions, Chris himself would break. In front of fifty plus people being berated, pushed to do something you knew you couldn’t do. 

Right at the end of it was a line, written in plain ink by hand. “Vacation not given as described by supervisor. No week off.” With tear stains smudging the ink. 

Chris started walking down the hall to the shared bedroom. As he walked closer he heard you mumbling as you sobbed. Things like “stop crying” and “it's nothing.” But one made him freeze right before he opened the door, “Chris is going to worry. You already take too much from him, get it together so he won't worry. It’ll hurt him. Stop hurting the people you love. You’re a monster.”

That made his eyes sting, you were worried about him above all else. He slowly opened the door and you couldn't find it in you to look up. You knew who it was. The aura you know and love, like salve on the holes you ripped into yourself. The small steps were only weighed down by his sneakers as he slowly spoke. 

“Hey…Baby Girl?” The tone was even more soothing. We don't deserve that. “Can you look at me please?” You just shook your head. Too embarrassed at the shambling mess you are. The real you that you hide. 

Before you knew it you saw two big hands undoing the laces on his sneakers, shortly after he toed them off. Slowly he sat in front of you groaning “Oooooookay criss-cross applesauce it is…” making you smirk as you wiped your nose with the inside of the collar of your shirt. Finally, as he settled he said “aaaaaughh” with a big puff of air… 

You just tucked your head into your chest as you hid as much as you could. He waited for a few minutes, until he said, “We can address what happened in a few minutes. But you need to know. You don't take from me.” 

Your tears kept falling as you listened, his tone calming the raging currents in your mind.

He looked at the engagement and wedding band on your left hand. He watched the tears fall, he saw the holes in you. He wanted to lunge at you, take that emotional knife away from you, smother you in affection. Hold you, his heart burned for it. Needle and thread ready to patch you up. To heal you.

 He spoke softly, “You are my everything, Y/N. You aren't a burden, a disappointment, you aren't a chore, the only thing you took from me was my heart, but you had that before I even heard your voice. The second I saw you… I gave it to you. I don't want it back either.” 

You hiccuped breaths as you listened. He scooted a little closer and he put his hands out, palm up into your vision… asking for your hands. That was when you realized you were scratching at them again. 

You unfurled them from one another, hissing where one nail was slightly deeper, the tiny droplet of blood following soon after.

He looked at your hands, humming in the back of his throat, “One second.” He didn’t want to show it, but he was worried. You feel so much and he just wants to be there to hold you, to love you. 

Then popped up and left. He came back with a first aid kit, “Oooooookay heeaarr we goar again... criss-cross.” That made you giggle the tiniest bit. Chris always loved to hear your laugh. Your laugh is infectious and it always never fails to brighten his day. He knew he was making progress.

You couldn't see it but Chris was smirking at your tiny cute form. And hearing that little giggle made him want to channel Changbin and squeal at the cuteness overload. 

“Okay my Koala Bear… hands.” When you both had started dating, he noticed you always hung on to him. You explained that he was warm and you were always frozen, especially in the colder months. You asked if it was okay for you to hold on to him like that. Internally he was trying his best not to giggle like a school boy at the prospect of you holding on to him like this naturally. He looked at you and said, “It’s no problem, you just remind me of a Koala Bear, so cute and tiny. Can I call you that? My Koala Bear?” And you nodded blushing. Since then, you’ve been his Koala Bear. 

You presented your hands to him wincing at the stretch of the new scratches and he said “So tiny… so cute. Okay tiny sting” he cleaned the bigger scratch and put a bandage on it, and checked the rest. Once he deemed it all good to have your hands back. He kissed them then returned them to your lap. “Thank you for letting me clean them.” 

You nodded and hummed. The voices slowed down. They always slowed down around him. He always was your safe place. Like home base in a baseball game. If you made it there, you’re safe. You’re home. That thought made you sad, surprisingly. How are you safe with only one person? You should have security in yourself not in someone else. Your brain was waiting to start assaulting you again. 

“Is it loud in there?” Chris asked. You've told him about all of this before, this is the first time he's seen it this bad though. The voices, memories attack you. You explained to him that sometimes your brain will do this, you try to hold it back but sometimes it just can’t be helped.

“Mhmm”

“People don't help… right?”

“mhmm”

“Can you tell me what's going on in there?”

You told him. Some.. not all. You also told him about that pesky intrusive thought about your ex and your friends. 

His body went rigid as he said, “No… they're the ones that are wrong, not you. Your ex…” He wanted to choose his words carefully. He knew that you blame yourself at times. The memory of you explaining why you were hesitant to go further when you were dating. He assured you there was no pressure. That he loved you for you, the rage boiled in him and it still does because you were never at fault for this. Especially when you trusted that asshole enough to experiment with him. He was going to be your first for everything but after what he did. The trust was gone, rightfully so.

Chris continued, “He took advantage of you, and coerced you into consent, that is not love. That is not okay? That is sexual assault. The way that your friends acted was disgusting, the way he acted was sub-human… You are not depressing, you are one of the most beautiful, talented, funny, caring, loving people I have…” his voice gave out and he cleared his throat, “You are one of the most amazing people I've ever met in my life. I love you so much and I know you feel like you're a burden on me but being with you has been the most amazing thing I've ever experienced.”

He tilted your head up and you let him, he had tears in his eyes as he said, “You have never been nor will you ever be a monster.” Your tears picked up as you looked into his eyes. You could tell, Chris doesn’t lie. He’ll tell you the truth. His tears started falling as you leaned forward, reaching for him, needing contact. When you saw him you needed his warmth, you need him to heal you. You were losing hope, faith, everything as you watched the holes in you. Seeing him holding the needle and thread. By holding you, being with you, just being himself, it heals you. You whimpered, “Need you…” As your tears switched from self-hate to desperation… you needed him and he could tell. 

He untangled his legs and scooped you up, cradling you in his arms as he rocked you petting your hair back, “You are my inspiration, my eternal love, you are the best part of my past, my present, and my future. You are the future mother to my children, the woman I'm going to grow old with, my forever and always. You are my Y/N, and I am never going to let you forget who you are and why I love you, okay?” He started crying, shielding you in his chest, protecting you. Stitching you together as you heard his heartbeat. You cried on him, relieved that you were with him.

You pulled back from him nodding. He tried to kiss your lips but you said “I'm all snotty” and he giggled. Leave it to you to be worried about snotty kisses. You looked so adorable, cheeks and nose red, nose running, tears stopping, the twinkle coming back into your eyes as he looked at you. 

“Are you denying me my snotty kisses?” He giggled as he said “Okay fine. There's no snot on your forehead” he pecked your forehead, “none on your cheeks”, and laid another peck, this pattern continued for any expanse of skin he could get his lips on as you giggled at him and his barrage of affection. When he stopped he wiped your nose with his sleeve and he kissed you gently on the lips. He savored moments like this, being able to heal you, to pick you up. He looked into your eyes as he said, “now I am thinking I’ll draw up a bath for us and I’ll give you a nice massage. After that we order take away, from your favorite place, then we watch something, Hm?” He looked at you for an answer as he kept wiping tears.

You nodded and gently, he placed you back where you were and went to get the bath ready. You'll always have hard days, but those days turn into amazing nights with Chris. Your home.

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[makeyoumine69]

Hey sweetheart I hope you're getting there! I just wanna say that you're appreciated and loved❤️Patrick is just..🥵Could I possibly have a fanfic of Patrick Bateman x fem reader who has the most disgusting thoughts about him with a hint of voice kink please? Much love princess 🥰❤️

My dear, thank you so much for your amazing support and your request! I hope you like it! 😘😍✌

— [MASTERLIST]; [My imagines and short requests]

Patrick was away on a business trip, so you were left alone in his fancy apartment in New York. Almost every day he called you and you had little cute conversations, where he mostly complained about his stupid co-workers and how much he missed you. But one day, your conversation turned into something really spicy.

"What did you just say, honey?" Bateman chuckled in amusement and brought the phone closer.

"Nothing," shit, did you actually say your dirty fantasies about him out loud? "Never mind Patrick, it was just…"

"What are you wearing?"

Fuck, his low, seductive voice sent shivers down your spine, it forced your toes to curl uncontrollably, because you wanted him to be here now more than anything else in this world.

"Uh, um…well, I'm wearing a short casual dress," you replied as your finger nervously twirled a lock of your hair. "With no bra underneath."

"Oh?" you heard his slight surprise, and it brought a bright smile to your face. "If so, how about you get under the dress and play with your nipples for me?"

A muffled gasp of excitement escaped your suddenly dry lips: "Patrick, stop teasing me… you know how much I miss you and…"

"That's the point, sweetheart," Patrick purred into the phone and you noticed the slight sound of his pants unbuckling. "'C'mon, those tits deserve attention and I'm so fuckin' upset I can't touch them right now."

"And if you were here, what would you do with them?" This question came out faster than you even had time to think.

His low chuckle echoed in your ear as his voice dropped even lower, "I'd suck those delicious little tips until they swell up, honey," he murmured, his hand already wrapped around the base of his fully erected cock. "I'd bite them, arghh�� I'd twist and pinch them really nice."

Moaning softly, you found yourself breathing fast and your peaks were so hard from the things Bateman was telling you. You cursed barely audibly and let the straps of your dress fall over your shoulders, exposing your well-formed breasts.

"Patty…" you mewled as you finally tugged on your hard nipple. "God, I miss you so much."

"I know, darling, I know," he mused, slowly stroking his thick dick. "I miss you even more, believe me."

"Patrick, go on…please!"

"Wow, I didn't expect you to be that horny," Patrick chortled, his voice seemed to flow right through your veins, setting your whole body on fire. "I bet you're so soaked right now. Aren't you?"

Fuck, you had to claw at your knee from how aroused you already were. Abashed, you slowly opened your legs and immediately felt the wetness between them.

Damn it!

"I'm so fucking wet, Patty," you closed your eyes and guided your hand to where you needed it most. "Oh God, I wish it was you, touching me right now…"

"Imagine it's me, honey," his guttural groan made you whimper in response, coaxing your fingers to slide over your delicate petals. "Imagine me palming your juicy pussy…mmhm…I wish I could taste it!"

"A-aww! Parick," your shameless wining was like music to his ears. "I want it so bad!"

"Baby," his jerking motions became more intense with each passing moment. "Shit, I'm gonna cum if you keep moaning like that..."

With a sly smile, you threw your head back as you couldn't hold it any longer - you shoved two fingers into your dripping cunt and your mind immediately went into a frenzy, especially when you heard his sexy muffled sighs.

I don’t have a taglist. You can follow my side blog @makeyoumineagain and turn on notifications to know when I update!

[angelthemanspanker]

my most tinfoil hat AtS opinion is that legit straight up canon spangel was like RIGHT beneath the surface of season 5, like the show was ready to pivot in the direction of them being at least friends with benefits at a moment's notice despite fate and the censors' best efforts

Season 1 had shit like Angel's first power walk shot set against a pride flag and him awkwardly telling guys he wasn't hitting on them, going for a kinda Adam West Batman kinda gay thing where people assume that about him bc it's the early 2000s and his clothes fit VS Season 5 in the premiere alone giving us Angel correcting a guy who calls him a "little fairy" with "I'm not little" and the legendary, blog-inspiring "I have no problem spanking men" (one of which he says to a guy he's about to kill and one to a guy he knocked out, almost like Angel lets gayer behaviour slip if he's around people who can't bring it up later hm) followed by the only man we KNOW Angel has fucked literally appearing from thin air in his office

then you get Life of the Party where Angel's Whacky Magic Antics are set off by Lorne telling Angel and the person he's having sexually tense arguments with to get a room, causing him to have ill-advised hate sex he ordinarily would not have with someone he is reluctantly attracted to. and I believe in my BONES that at SOME POINT in the scripting process that that person was gonna be Spike. Even setting aside my admittedly subjective opinion that Angel and Eve had even less sexual chemistry than Xander and Willow, it just... scans. Angel and Spike have their "I need to get our faces within an inch of each other or I'll die" arguments in front of EVERYBODY in literally every episode of the season, so I feel like if Lorne was gonna say it about ANYONE it'd be about them. I will never budge from my belief that Spike still being a ghost at this point and early 2000s tv politics caused them to abandon the Angel And Spike Magically Fuck At The Party plot early in the writing process for the episode and slot Eve in there instead while Spike gets the easy-to-write-into-existing-scenes positivity thing.

and THEN. AND THEN. it becomes a plot point that the show Angel's friends are suddenly really on board with him getting back out there dating-wise (the unperson-ing of Cordelia helps here. whee.), with us all suddenly being in agreement that there is little to no danger of his curse being triggered by sex (even though both times he's lost the soul since his curse, real or imagined sex played a significant role in the moment of happiness). Like, Nina is one of the more one-dimensional characters in the Buffyverse and her midness seems to be for the purpose of setting the audience at ease that Angel's soul ain't going anywhere from hooking up with her.

WESLEY is all for it! Wesley "Most Paranoid and Prepared For The Return of Angelus" Wyndam-Pryce is saying look man we're all rooting for you go have a relationship with a girl whose only flaw that I can come up with is that she's a werewolf. Like sir??? How can you be sure the Beautiful Engaging Young Woman Who Actually Wants You won't accidentally make Angel happy with her extremely inoffensive flavour of Nice?

Whereas if, say, there was a beautiful, engaging blonde who actually wants Angel and Angel wants but comes with the caveat that THIS beautiful blonde not only drives Angel up the fucking wall but recently had magical sex with Angel at the office party in front of the whole main cast, proving that as much as Angel gets off on screwing Spike that he is Not happy about it? I can see Wes giving the all clear on that one ngl

bonus points that Angel and Nina got the Official Couple upgrade in Smile Time which comes right before the Illyria tragedy forces Angel and Spike into the... maybe not friendly but LESS hostile dynamic they keep for the rest of the show, so the season structure of their relationship still follows a lot of the same beats. honestly besides getting a lot more moments of David Boreanaz and James Marsters trying to out-six-pack each other in their post-coital shirtless scenes the only thing you'd need to do is change the world-shattering "Me and Angel have never been intimate. Well except that one..." to something along the lines of "Me and Angel have never been intimate, I just shag the bastard"

[neverchecking]

NSFW Alphabet- Four

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He's pretty good, all things considered! So, I like to write Four as one solid conscious until he splits, so saying that, like he's smart. He knows what he's doing. He's a little disoriented after he cums, but after a moment he's up and on the move. He also has a set routine but it's more because he likes the order he does things. He doesn't mean to, it just happens.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

On himself? Honestly? His biceps. And I will take this to my fucking grave, but I, honest to God, whole-heartedly believe that this man has biceps of fucking iron. Have you seen a blacksmith's build? they have arms. And you know what? So does Four. So, his biceps are his favorite because they are also my favorite.

On his partner? He'll try to save face and say personality but this man screams thigh man. He loves thighs because he's face to face with them. Like adores them with his whole heart. When you sit down and they transform into plump pillows? He's in love. He loves squishing them and moving the flesh around in his grasp, but he fucking loves them.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

*Looks around side to side before leaning in* This man, right here? You can try to tell me otherwise, but I won't believe you. Fucking loves cumming inside of you. He knows he's not tall, and he knows he's not the most outwardly intimidating, but holy shit does it give him a rush to know that no one else has the privilege of marking you so intimately. It drives him nutty, especially if you just go on your day like that. Like he can't sit still knowing you're there, pretty legs crossed because if they're not you're going to drip on the seat.

Just the thought has him hard.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Would love to fuck you in a skirt. There I said it. He would love to wear a silky skirt, bend you over the mattress and just destroy you. This man is both the biggest dom and hardest switch imo, but put him in a skirt and there's no question. Just <four in a skirt3

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

None. Zero, zilch, nada. People never took him seriously enough with his height. Plus with smithing and his adventure he never really thought about it. Maybe I'm projecting, but I like to think of Four as a Demisexual (Source: I am a demisexual) so he didn't really have a sex drive until meeting someone he really liked.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Missionary. All the way, call him a traditionalist but he loves the eye contact and the fact that his height doesn't matter. Also, maybe, just maybe, he likes the domesticity of it all. He loves the idea of making you his perfect little house spouse. Even if you don't want it <3 Man i forget I'm a yandere blog so often it's not even funny.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He can appreciate good joke. Of course, he's not gonna go looking to make one, but if you're visibly stressed, he'll crack a small one. Anything to make you smile, really. If you want to make a joke, he'll humor you of course as well.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Very well groomed, one of the best. It's a little lighter than the hair on his head, but exceptionally fine. He keeps it well trimmed and washed. Again, it's not because he's crazy about neatness it mostly just feels better for him.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He can be very romantic, but, honestly, he doesn't have the chance to be as romantic as he wants to be. After being in the forge, he's tired and smells and while he wants to woo you, he just can't. Of course, that won't stop him from treating you like royalty, but there won't be any rose petals or candles.

Side bar, Four absolutely makes you one of those metal flowers. Yk the ones?

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Probably a little more common than the rest of the Links, but its mostly because every time he thinks about you, especially if his thoughts wander, he gets hard and he can't get back to his work until his frustrations have been let out. Only reason really, if he had time, he'd rather fuck you in a nice quickie, but unfortunately that isn't realistic.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He's got a thing for bondage. So okay, hear me out, he's a blacksmith right? Who works with metal right? So he probably can make chains right? surely you guys see where i'm going with this right? He likes BDSM purely because he loves seeing you bound in the chains he makes.

I think he's also got a bit of breeding kink. This goes back to part C, but it awakens something in him that's so primal. It just drives him insane and makes his nerves buzz because it's such an intimate way of claiming you.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He's not picky. Not in the SLIGHTEST. Y'all have probably fucked in his forge. He's a man on a busy schedule, so he's taking what he can get when he can get it. He'll fuck in the bedroom, on the kitchen counter, on the living room floor, in the forge, behind a tree in the forest, under the rushing waters of a river, he's down for anything.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Anything. But something about having a significant other that works as well? Like not actual work, no, no he won't allow his most precious jewel to ever risk that, but things like cooking, cleaning, even writing blueprints or something for weapons you've had ideas about and want him to make-- because you aren't allowed to work in the forge it's too dangerous for you're perfect hands. That especially just drives him crazy because having a competent partner is just so attractive to him.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Sounding. If you don't know what that is, perfect. Don't look it up. If you do, I'm sorry for your loss. He doesn't like the idea of it, wants nothing near there, it's just like the biggest turn off to him. Shudders just thinking about it.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Contrary to the other Links I've written, he prefers receiving. Just having his spouse on their knees while he's perfecting some plan or blueprint or polishing something, sucking him off while he works? Goddess, it's his favorite pastime. Just thinking about it has him palming himself until he can get to you.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Depends on his mood, but most of the time it's fast and rough. He likes the thrill it gives him and the adrenaline rush. Plus, the fact that it renders you absolutely brain dead and mindless, just a hole for him to use is an added bonus.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Loves them. Adores them. He does 'em pretty often too because, like I said, they fit into his schedule the easiest. He's one of the only Links with a stable job so he does have a routine and schedule to stick to, meaning Quickies are perfect for him. He gets to remind you of how much he loves you and thinks about you and how much your very aura has intoxicated him.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Loves them. So, here's the thing. Four is STILL a Link. He still loves the adventure, the thrill, the adrenaline. So the risks? The one that have him pausing, balls deep with a hand over your mouth to keep you from crying out? Get him so riled up he can't explain it because it just makes him that much more horny. Like, he is humping at you like a dog all while trying to keep himself quiet and you as well.

So yeah, he likes the risk.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Not the most, I'll be fair. Like I said, he's got a job, he's a blue collar man-- or the Hyrule equivalent-- and he's a hard working man. So he doesn't have all the energy in the world, but the energy he does have is put to good use, don't worry. He's a man who can't go for six rounds, but the rounds he does go has you feeling like he did.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Like I said, he likes chains. He's probably got a few spreader bars as well. Things made of metal you know? Maybe a few plugs he fiddled with. So he does have a few. And Four is the man who doesn't view toys as competition, no, no, they are his friends. His companions. His teammates. Everything needed to make you feel good. And that's all that matters to him.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He doesn't have time to tease. He'd love to, and on days he has off he spends hours between your legs until you're a sobbing, pleading mess for him, but on the more regular days? Of course he does foreplay, but he doesn't have time for the slow traces of skin or small pinches of flesh.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He's a whiner, but he hides it. But if you pull his head out from where he hides it in your shoulder? He's a whimpering mess, crying because you feel so good and at some point he becomes so sex drunk that it's all he can think about. And when that happens he can't help but cry for you <3

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He loves domesticity. Every part of it and I will fucking go down with this. He loves the idea of having his perfect little house spouse who's willing and waiting for his cock at any given moment. Who cares for the house, cooking and cleaning, while he goes to work to provide for both of them. He loves having a partner with intellect, of course, but having a partner be a house spouse while also putting their brain to good use? Oh he's feral.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Stealing this from Bea so thanks-

4.4 inches. Good sized balls, went over his hair already. Probably has a nice vein running up the underside of it that makes him just shatter when you run your tongue along it. Has him reaching for your hair just to stuff your mouth full.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Pretty high but also not all if you know what i mean? Like when he has the time and energy he is all over you, you can't even go to the bathroom without him loudly complaining about how he misses you in his arms. On the other hand, when its been a long day, he likes just letting you cockwarm him like a good little slut <3

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He loves falling asleep with you because it's something so domestic to him (See W). He loves spooning you and burying his face into your hair, or chest, depending if you wanna be big spoon or lil spoon, and just feeling your chest slow as your breathing evens out. It's pure bliss to him and reminds him of why exactly he worships you.

Not that he ever needed a reason.

[deltadarlingf1]

On the Reality of Dating a Famous/Wealthy Man:

I was going to post this on Twitter but decided I wanted to a do a long form post. So an explanation of this tweet, which was inspired by the screenshot just below it:

First a disclaimer: I am not at ALL saying Mick is anything like the men I'm about to talk about (I genuinely doubt it). I'm using this response to him hard-launching his relationship as an example of the mindset I see in a LOT of the young female F1 fans. If you read the gossip blogs, you've seen posts like this and worse, particularly on Charles, Pierre, Danny, and Carlos's gfs.

As I said in my tweet, if these young girls knew what it can be like behind closed doors for the WAGs of the rich and the famous, they probably wouldn't make statements like this.

I see a lot of younger fans here on social media posting their imagines and fan fics, and as someone a bit older than them, it does worry me. I know for most people it's simple fantasy and fun, but when I see things like the above I know there are some younger girls that really just don't get it.

My aim in posting this is that maybe it'll be a bit of a reality check for some of those girls. And I don't mean that in a bullying way, I mean that in a "please don't look at these smiling pretty girls with the closet full of designer, perfect body, and seemingly perfect life and feel bad about yourself" way.

Lastly, how do I know any of what I'm about to talk about? I wish I was just chatting shit, but I have lived through all of what I'm posting below as the daughter of a "man" of wealth. His money came from corporate life, not fame, but when you have as much as my "father" did/does, you rub elbows with the famous. Everything I detail below happened to me, my mother, and the wives of my "father"'s coworkers. I'm now watching history repeat itself as I've moved up the corporate ladder and find myself around millionaires and billionaires on a regular basis.

1. The "Starter Wife" Phenomenon

In wealthy circles there's the concept of a "Starter Wife". This is the woman wealthy/famous men marry because they were high school sweethearts, worked together early on, or they dated before the man had his "come up". Sometimes men marry these women and have kids for the SOLE purpose of having the "Family Man" persona. For famous men, this can be good PR. For wealthy men, this can boost their career.

A lot of these men fucking HATE their wives. By the time they have money, they want the freedom of single life back. They can now afford their "dream woman" and loathe being "stuck" with their current wife because of it. Leading to:

2. Serial Cheating

These men have all the money and resources they need to live a double life. Not to mention built-in time and an alibi: They're on the road all the time for their job, work trips, events, etc. No time unaccounted for because they're always working.

Some of those work trips to wine-and-dine clients include runs to the local strip club, escorts, and in some cases some of those escorts are of INCREDIBLY questionable age (in reality, they are victims of trafficking). Again, I wish I was talking out of my ass, I have seen this shit with my own eyes and wish to the Gods I hadn't. Then there's also:

3. Domestic Violence

This is bad enough when it's a wealthy man whose built that "Family Man" persona to protect himself, but it's even worse when they're famous. No one believes the victims, in some cases the woman is financially stuck and can't just take the kids and run when it happens.

And for some women it hard to leave the man they thought their partner was and, yes, to let the lifestyle go. Speaking of the lifestyle there's:

4. The Loneliness

This is a big one for the F1 girlies I see posting their imagines and fanfics and what not. The fairytale of "he'll make time for me because he loves me and I'd be special. I'd be different."

These men are busy as shit. That Cartier Bracelet you envy on these girls is often a "sorry I missed your birthday". The big bouquet of roses is a "sorry I had to leave our trip early." Yes, we know the joke "well at least I can cry in a Ferrari", but that shit will wear on you more than you can believe. I can't tell you growing up how hurt I was when my performances were missed, major dates were forgotten, or my proud life updates were met with "yeah, uh-huh, hold on I have to take this call."

Of course there are good times, of course there's memories you'll cling to, but when you're out, you often realize how alone you felt in the relationship. Lastly, and most poignant with this F1 WAG nonsense:

5. Keeping Up Appearances

You're no longer your own person in a relationship with these men, you are an extension of them. With famous men, you're a part of their "branding".

You have to look a certain way, act a certain way, talk to the right people, have the right friends. In the corporate-wealth world, that means making your partner look good, playing the part of the trophy wife and perfect mother. Smile in front of those coworkers that you know just spent the last business trip drinking, gambling, and cheating on their wives. Wear the right dress to the corporate dinner to make his coworkers envy him, but don't dress too sexy or he'll grow angry and think you're trying to cheat.

If you're dating someone famous, by the GODS, you better look immaculate in every post. You better be there to support him at his events, but if you're there too often you're "attention-seeking". You better have model good-looks, but if you ARE a model, you're "a jobless loser trying to profit on him". Don't post him on your IG, but if you happen to post that you're in the same city as him, you're "dropping hints". If he posts you, it's only because you "probably begged him to".

It's a maddening dance where you cannot win for losing. And once you break up, enjoy letting the world decide if he should have stayed with you, or if they're relieved that he finally got away from "that selfish bitch".

Do what you will with the above. I just wanted to get it off my chest. But I do hope that maybe, MAYBE, it'll give someone that needs it some perspective.

[romanarose]

2000 followers!!!!

Graphic by @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog 🥰🥰

Wow, I'm in tears y'all I can't believe I'm at 2k!!!!!

I'll be straight up, the 1k celebration was a lot ;-;

And with school, I can't commit to a whole lot especially writing things for people who don't interact with my shit at all. So, I decided to do something specific

My talent lies in series more than one shots. It's where I shine. So I think the celebration will be centered more around my different universes! Acceptable universes will be listened an linked at the bottom.

Here's how to participate!

Fuck Marry Kiss

Pic 3 canon characters or OC's from any universes. If you say "Marc Spector" Specify if its from Seattle or Sunshine. Make sure I know which series bc there slightly different characterizations sometimes. Same with reader. MOST of my readers have a nickname like Little One or Madonna. Example: FMK: IYWBW Santi, Lorenzo, and Puppy Girl reader

2. Bonus chapter or thoughts (or thots)

Ever wanted to know how Zach and Lorenzo fell in love? Ever wondered what Jana and Will's friendship is like? Wanted to see what Guard Dog! Joel and Reader do for fun? Now is your chance! Please be clear if you're looking for thoughts or an organized chapter. Example: Can I please request a scene with how Santi calms down Laci when she has PTSD now that's she's a few years into healing? Example 2: Was wondering if you had some random thoughts of what shows Jake and Sam have watched together over the years?

3. Crossovers!

Want two characters from different universes to meet? Have a cross story ship? Think two readers or OC's would be besties? Think a pair of characters would be fun in a different AU? Come on over!

Example (From Fen): Leather and Lace Santi and Laci meet The Wrong Way Joel and Little one

Example 2 (Also from Fen): What if Sam met Becca.

Example 3: I think Angela from Blessed be the Fruit would absolutely love Candy and they should date.

Acceptable universes to ask for fics or crossovers from:

If You Wanna Be Wild (Santiago Garcia x Latina!Reader/OC x Javier Pena) with @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction Sunshine Starlight Sweetheart Brightside (Steven Grant x OC x Marc Spector) Seattle (Marc Spector x Jewish!OC) Leather and Lace Universe (Santiago Garcia x OC, Frankie Morales x AfroLatina!OC, William Miller x Vietnamese!OC, Ben Miller x M!OC) Awakening (Reader x all 4, IronPope, FishBen) Darkness on the Edge of Town (Joel Miller x reader, no age gap) DBF!Joel Miller Holiday Fucks (Joel Miller x reader, large age gap) Pieces from my dark side blog @romana-after-dark are allowed too. I have 2k followers here but Ill want to open the worlds in here to the event.

The Wrong Way (Dark!Joel Miller x reader, Dark!Tommy Miller x reader DDDNE) Guard Dog (Dark!Joel Miller x Dark!reader) Blessed Be the Fruit (Dark!Joel Miller x darkish!reader) Puppy Girl (dark!Joel Miller x reader, pet play) Room's on Fire (Reader x Santiago, Francisco, Will, Ben, FishBen, FishPope)

If you have other ideas, just ask!!!

Spring Break is coming up so im excited to do some of these and my commissions!

I CANNOT thank my lovely followers enough for all this!!! I love writing so fucking much and many have reached out to me about fics being healing for them

so, thank you. I mean it. Man of these stories, like LaL universe or TWW have been healing for me, processing a lot of feelings through them and i pu tmy heart and soul into my stories, so it makes me so happy and proud yall want to read.

[cinnbar-bun]

Important Message

So... haha... been almost a month since I really did anything on this blog...

Listen, I'm gonna keep it straight to you guys, the months leading up to my hiatus were, to put it mildly, some of the most disgusting I've seen in my years as a fanfic writer and fandom enjoyer. This is a bit of a vent post, because, well, genuinely, I really hope the fandom can get better. I'm assuming most of the bad experiences I've had came through people a bit younger/newer to fandom or tumblr/fanfic culture in general. If you want just an update on the blog, I will be posting that shortly after this one.

I'm going to list out some of the shit I had to go through (that I am sure many fanfic writers, but more specifically, POC fandom creators go through). This is a long post. Yeah, also, this is obvious but TW FOR: Racism (including slurs), Islamaphobia, sexism, death threats, suicide threats, harassment, and just flat out horrible behavior.

I'm gonna go list some of the slurs I've been messaged or called, I'll even rate them for you guys <3:

Camel jockey: oooo, haven't heard that one before. get more creative, 3/10

camel fucker: nice, bit more crass, still not original. 3.5/10, just a bit funny

Terrorist: wow, dude, oh my gosh, I can't believe I've never heard that one living in post 9/11 America! Wow! 0/10 try harder

I also don't know where the assumption came from that I was a hijabi... I am not. Calling me a BMO? Pretty unique but sadly does not fit me. :(/10

This barely scratches the surface of what I have dealt with after having been open about my heritage. I'm sorry my very existence offends you and requires you to come out and send me shit about hoping my family dies or that my favorite character brutally hurts me. I have read your messages, and after long consideration, I have decided to no longer be Middle Eastern. Yep, that's right, guys, I am no longer MENA! Don't worry about my family history or anything, I just choose not to be that anymore. There, now you don't have to send me messages about hoping my family gets killed <3

Let's see what else we should tackle.

Should I tackle the fact that I've gotten messages from others to update a fic or answer a request or they will try to self harm or commit suicide?

Should I tackle the fact that some have tried to pressure or guess my sexuality (dude, what the fuck)?

Should I tackle how I got messages from others assuming my place because of my religion?

Should I tackle how I've gotten weird ass messages from people getting mad at me because how DARE I not write certain things during Ramadan?

Should I tackle those things?

I'll save you the hassle, no, I really shouldn't have had to, but fact is, the One Piece fandom has to be some of the worst I've seen and interacted with purposefully in a long time. And I was in the Hetalia fandom way back when. I should not have dumb shit about "liberating" me or oh, oh, oh, I love this one! People asking me if I have 'full armament haki' (I hope you genuinely, genuinely, get the fuck off your phone and go outside. Maybe have a walk and go talk to actual people.)

I've met some genuinely lovely, beautiful, and kind people. They truly are some of the most talented creators I've seen, and I'm grateful they chose to befriend me. The good does outweigh the bad. But the bad? Oh lord, I think you guys are genuinely some of the most disgusting pieces of shits I've ever had the displeasure of meeting.

Fanfic writers are not your slaves. I have a full time job, I have a full time life outside of my tumblr and my writing. I write when I want to because I like to write, and fanfic is a good creative outlet. You sending dumb messages crying about no updates after four days of me posting a new chapter, or threatening to harm yourself because of this is disgusting.

POC creators, especially, are not your fucking tokens. I'm not here to break down every racial stereotype for you. I'm not here to be sitting there mocked with crap I already hear in my outside life. And I sure as HELL am not here for fake support only to be called slurs and mocked the minute I don't do something for you. You are gross, you are not funny, you are genuinely a horrible person and if your ideal vision of humor boils down to the Instagram comments section, all I'm saying is, I'm not wishing you anything positive.

If you read this far, thank you. Truly. This was difficult to place and write down, but it needed to be said, because even to this day I still get messages similar to before.

Do better, One Piece fandom. Do better. Because you are only going to lose the fans who really care and who put effort into making things. How far can you harass fanfic creators, and especially POC ones, with your bullshit before you lose out on things?

I don't need to 'move on'. My identity and my existence is on a completely separate wave than so and so idk, liking a ship or a character. One is fake, and one is literally who I am. Putting false equivalencies to the issues within fandom because it makes you 'sad' is shitty.

I've only given you an idea of what I had to deal with. Now imagine this constantly by random people, both on tumblr and AO3, and then imagine that also in your daily life, on the media, in the news, in the music, on the radio, in the books- fucking everywhere. It's exhausting.

Just... fucking do better. Actually fucking listen to POC. I got nothing else to add that wouldn't just be me repeating the same shit I and others have tried to say.

Just be kind, for gods sake, and remember that creators are human, not the silly avatars we choose.

[alyswritings]

Favoritism

Request: hii! would you be able to write a john b x twinsister!reader story where they both have different perspectives of their dad (like, john b and his dad idolized each other while the dad always left the reader "behind"), maybe moments when their dad disappeared and when he was back? i don't have a lot of ideas but maybe fighting between the reader and john b, or reader and big john and john b taking their dad's side. just something that ends in some kind of comfort lol thank you sm, i love your blog💗

John B Routledge x sister!reader

Summary: Y/N feels like the odd one out.

Warnings: none really

a/n: sorry it took a while for me to get to this! hope y'all enjoy!

(gif not mine)

When Big John went missing, Y/N was effected, of course. But she never took it as hard as her twin brother had. John B was dead set on his father coming back alive some day. Y/N on the other hand wasn't too shocked that they possibly lost their father to his ridiculous gold hunt. It's all he ever really cared about, spending all of his time in it.

Big John always included John B in everything, often leaving Y/N out. The two would spend hours in Big John's office, the man usually brushing Y/N aside whenever she asked to join. It was obvious from a young age that the man favored his son.

Y/N picked up most of the slack when Big John went missing -- making sure the house stayed clean, that John B didn't go off the rails, etc.

"Don't you care that dad's gone? I mean, do you even give a shit?!" John B questions, following his sister into the chateau.

"Why should I? It's not like he would care if I ever went missing." Y/N remarks.

"So you just don't fucking care? What the hell, Y/N?" John B asks.

"John B, why would I be deeply hurt by a man who barely gives me five minutes? Yeah, I was initially concerned, but it's been months! He is gone!"

"No, he isn't!"

"Nobody survives that long, you idiot! Just accept it! Dad is dead!"

Y/N storms into her room and slams the door shut.

- - -

The pogues dropped Sarah and Y/N off at the chateau, the two finding John B asleep on the couch on the porch. While Sarah and John B reunited, John B claiming that he found his dad in Barbados, the three teens are now in the yard.

"Dude, did you get some drugs or something? Are you high right now?" Y/N asks as John B insists that Big John is here.

"Y/N, I'm serious. I found dad." John B insists.

"Okay." Y/N rolls her eyes.

"I wouldn't believe him either." The three look over at the man as he walks over. Y/N freezes, her eyes widening. Sarah lets out a noise of shock while John B immediately questions where his father was.

While Sarah greets her father-in-law, John B continues to question his dad where he was, not receiving an answer.

"Hey, there, sweetheart." Big John greets his dad. "What? No hug for your old man?"

"How in the hell are you alive?" Y/N questions.

"Well, that's a long story." Big John chuckles, pulling her into a hug. "Good to see you again, kid."

- - -

"No. I'm not going with you guys." Y/N denies.

"Why not?" John B asks.

"Because dad gets all obsessive and he gets super annoying and I'm not dealing with it." Y/N says.

"Y/N--"

"Come on, boy." Big John calls to his son. "She don't wanna go, it's her loss, not ours. Probably just slow us down anyway." Y/N rolls her eyes.

"Just go." She tells her brother, going into her room.

- - -

"I'm sorry. You-- you found this and you didn't tell the others?" Y/N asks.

"Yeah." John B mutters.

"Why the hell not?" Y/N questions.

"Dad said it's gotta stay between us." John B says.

"And you're gonna listen to him? John B, what the fuck?"

"Y/N--"

"No! No, they are a huge part in this treasure hunt, and you're not gonna tell them shit? What the fuck is wrong with you? Hell, you won't even tell Sarah?"

"Dad says it's best to keep it small for right now."

"Oh, my God." Y/N rolls her eyes.

"Y/N, we aren't telling anybody about this damn thing! We can't trust anyone!" Big John exclaims.

"I think we can trust our friends who have been there for us through everything!" Y/N yells back.

"No! Now, it's between the three of us! And if you're not happy with that, then get out!" Big John shouts.

Y/N rolls her eyes and turns to her brother.

"John B?" She asks.

John B glances between the two before eventually stepping closer to his dad. Y/N scoffs, ignoring the sting of tears in her eyes that she does her best to hold back.

"Whatever." She mutters, rolling her eyes, and storming out.

- - -

John B and Y/N sit on the dock of the chateau. They got back from finding the city of gold yesterday but haven't talked much since their father died.

"Hey." Y/N mumbles, crossing her legs, slouching.

"Hey." John B whispers.

"You okay?" Y/N asks after a few minutes.

"No." John B answers.

"Yeah." Y/N mumbles.

"I assume you're okay." John B mutters.

"Mm... no. No, not really." Y/N denies.

"I thought you hated him." John B says.

"No. Dislike, sure, but... I loved him. I just... wanted him to love me back." Y/N says. "He never really cared about me that much. Least it didn't seem like it. Always fighting, always getting brushed aside, you getting picked over me. His favoritism was definitely obvious. But him dying... watching him die... it still hurts."

"Yeah." John B mumbles, the two sitting in silence for a little bit.

"Least we're not left wondering this time." Y/N says.

"Mm-hmm." John B nods. "I'm sorry." He tells her. "For taking his side all the time. You were right a lot of the time, but I just... I took his side, anyway. Not that I love him more than you or anything, I just... it was just instinct or something. I didn't want him to get pissed at me or anything either."

"Well, you two are more alike than you think. At least when it comes to the gold sometimes. Granted, if somebody had a gun pointed at your kid, I'm sure you would give up whatever information you had a lot sooner than he did." Y/N says.

"You know I love you, right?" John B asks.

"I know." Y/N gives him a small smile. "I love you, too."

John B wraps his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into his side, and he kisses her on the head.

Taglist: @glxwingrxse @venomsvl @wildieflower @aliciacat20 @allyson15 @gabbylovesreading @mrvlxgrl @star-wars-lover @champomiel @myissuesworld @ironmaiden1313

[loving-strawberry]

✶(Reversed)Breaking up prank goes wrong with Stray Kids✶(Hyung-Line)

Maknae-Line Disclaimer: This has nothing to do with the other post on my blog!

Summary: You take your boyfriend prank seriously.

It was a request!

A little note: Sorry, not sorry. I wanted to go with full angst post, but I didn't know how to compensate the pain, so two of them will end up good. Maknae line will be posted in a few days, split as well. I will not be doing part two for the angst endings. Also, I got too much into details to do simple hcs.

Genre: Angst, Fluff. (2 Happy endings, 2 sad endings)

Pairing: Bf!Skz x gn!reader

Warning: lot of swearing, actual break up, mention of food and drinks, mention of cheating, talking about insecurities and not being good enough, talking about not feeling loved, mention of slapping and hitting (?) Possibly some writing mistakes.

Bang Chan☆

Felix fault on this one, honestly.

He told Chan about this prank, and Chan somehow... decided that it will be a good plan.

So he put his plan in use when you were out shopping and saw you were pretty late.

You left your boyfriend a little note saying that you went to do groceries, so he knows where did you go as he arrives home. And you left a specific time when you get home, because you are never late, so saying specific hours are normal.

But unfortunately for you, as you were driving back home, you got stuck in traffic. And your phone didn't had any battery left, leaving you stressed out because you will be late home and you hate being late.

Chan got home some time now, and saw the note, so he was expecting you to be back soon. But when he saw that you are not back yet and you're not responding his messages, he grown a bit worried, but calmed down, knowing that you had a good reason to be late. Most likely being stuck in traffic. That's when the thought of a break up prank that Felix showed him recently popped up in his head. This was his perfect opportunity to do it, knowing you don't really mind pranks and some of them you find them funny.

One hour later, you finally came home, stressed up for being this late.

As you enter your house, you see Chan sitting on the couch. "Hi, love! I'm sorry for being this late! I got stuck in traffic..." you smile sweetly and walk over to him.

Chan is actually relieved that he was right and you are safe, just stuck in traffic. But now's the time to go on with his plan. "Are you sure that you were stuck in traffic?" he asks suspiciously.

Now you are looking at him like his third eye just grew on his forehead, confused on what was that all about. "Yeah? Why?"

"I was just thinking that you were cheating on me. So, tell me straight up. Who are you seeing behind my back?" he looks at you in all seriousness.

"Am I what now??? How low are you thinking of me???" now really angry and even more stressed, because you couldn't believe what you are hearing. You didn't ever gave Chan any reason to think that you are cheating on him, but here you are, your boyfriend accusing you of this.

Straight up ignoring you just questioned, he continues his idea "I think this is over between us. I can't believe you."

"Are you fucking serious??" you are trying your best to keep yourself from slapping him right now. That's when you see his small smirk on his face, you realize that it was just a prank. Usually, you don't mind his random pranks learned from Felix, but right now, you were super stressed because of your late arrival home and because of the traffic, that you really got mad at him.

"Ok. We are over. As you said. Go on and pack up your things and leave." you say coldly as you look at him.

Oh shit... He fucked up. Now his smirk fade away so fast. "I'm really sorry, my love! It was a prank!" he come closer to you, but you just turned and walked away without saying another word. Finally understanding that you need some space, he walks out the front door in an instant.

You are now in your shared bedroom, sobbing out all of your painful feelings, trying to process what just happened. That was just a prank, but it did hurt you pretty bad. Was just because of the stress? Were you just too dramatic? Now you are regretting taking it too seriously and hope there will be a way of making up for it.

After 30 minutes, Chan comes back home, and you get out of the bedroom, wanting to talk with him, but before you could say anything, he shows up and stops in front of you, having a big bouquet of your favorite flowers and a box of chocolate.

"I really want to apologize for that reckless prank. I understand if you don't want to see me again, I should've known that it was going to hurt you. And I didn't have to accuse you of cheating either, even as a joke. I'm really, really sorry. I don't why I thought it was funny. I-" as he continues to ramble and mutter apologies, you take the bouquet and box out of his hands and hug him tightly.

"It's ok, love. I was also overreacting... I was too stressed and let it out on you... We both know that I won't ever cheat and I know that you trust me. But please don't do a prank like this again. These ones can hurt." you kiss his cheek and smile softly at him.

"You didn't overreact, you were hurt. And I promise I won't pull these pranks on you again. I love you so much." hugging you tightly to his chest, he starts kissing your lips over and over again, happy that you are still his and you forgave him.

"I love you too."

Lee Minho☆

He knew from the start that this prank is a stupid plan

Then why he did the prank on you anyway? No idea

He just texted you that he wanted to meet with you so you could talk something

So now, there you are. Standing in the middle of your living room, waiting for Minho to speak. You could see on his face that something isn't right, this putting an unsettling feeling all over you.

As you were about to ask him if something is wrong, your boyfriend spoke one thing that was actually unexpected for you, making your heart drop in an instant. "We need to break up..." he doesn't even looks at you, already feeling guilty.

"Why...? Without any reasons?... Did I do something wrong..." you are trying to make eye contact with him, but he just won't look at you. This is making you feel even worse than a few seconds ago. Million of thoughts starts going in your mind like a spiral and you start fighting to keep your tears from spilling "It was my fault... Wasn't it...? Was I not enough for you, I knew it..."

Hearing this, Minho finally looks up to you and the feeling of guilt now became full regret, written all over his face as well. "No! No! Don't say that!! It was all a prank!" he tries to take you in his arms, but you shove him away.

"Prank...? Seriously...?" you back away from him, not wanting to be anywhere near the man who was supposed to be protect you and your feelings, not to play around with them.

"I-... I'm really sorry... I don't even know why I did this prank... I know it was a stupid idea..." Minho tries getting closer to you again, but you just keep backing away.

"Yeah. It was a stupid idea. And I think I know why you did it. You don't actually care about me. Because if you did, you won't pull something this stupid on me." kept looking at the floor, you finally letting go to the flow of tears.

"I do care about you... I'm extremely sorry... I love you" he stops moving seeing how you just keep the distance.

"Oh please. Keep the apologies to yourself. You shouldn't do it in the first place. You surely do love me." the last sentence that escape your lips was a sarcastic one and also filled with venom. So much venom, that made Minho's next words caught in his throat.

"Leave my apartment, now. We really are over."

Nodding and without any protests, he just turns on his heels and goes towards the door. You are unable to move as you just look at your now ex boyfriend exiting through the door in silence.

As soon as the door close behind him, you finally broke down sobbing, everything being poured out alongside with your tears and heart aching with so much pain. You are so confused as to why he did something like that as a joke. Was this simple for your feelings to be played as they just got played a few minutes ago? Did he even cared about you in the first place? Did he even loved you?

Because of that prank, everything that was left now were two broken hearts. You were left in a spiral of thoughts and feelings. You were left hurt and in pain just because of a stupid prank.

Seo Changbin☆

He decided to do the prank right away after he heard about it, not really thinking it will bring any serious harm and it will be just fun

Oh boy... He was so wrong about it

And the fact that he did it on one of the most stressful periods in your life, left both of you in total pain

You just got to their dorms, wanting to spend some quality time with your teddy bear of a boyfriend and just let him hug all the stress out from your soul. Not knowing this will turn out to not happen anymore.

As you enter into Bin room, you were meet with a serious aura around your boyfriend "Is everything ok, teddy bear?"

"I need to talk with you about something..." he pats the free space on his bed, beside him and you go take a sit there. You look at your boyfriend and hum, letting him know that he has your full attention. "I miss you... I feel like you are not loving me anymore. I don't think I want to be in this relationship anymore" the look of hurt and confusion on your face right now made his heart fill with so much guilt and regret.

"What...? I'm so sorry... I was that busy that I forgot about you...? I thought I was giving you the love you needed..." truth be told, you are in an extremely stressed period of yours, you are focused on your exams and you've been studying so much that sometimes you forgot even about yourself, but that didn't really stopped you from according attention to your boyfriend whenever he needed you. This way, you were also getting rid of some of your stress, by spending time with him. The thought of you not giving enough love to Changbin never crossed your mind.

"It was a prank!! I'm sorry!!" he starts hugging you tight, hoping that you are going to forgive him. But this isn't the case right now. You force yourself out of his arms. All the stress you accumulate these past few days made you snap at him.

"You asshole! I was thinking that I made you feel unloved! What the fuck?! And why the fuck did you thought that doing something like this will be funny?? It is funny playing with someone's feelings??"

"I'm really sorry... I promise that you make me feel loved..." he doesn't dare looking at you anymore, regret getting everything in him.

"Yeah. Because I'm trying my best to give you all the love you need, even when I'm busy. But do you love me? Someone who loves won't do such a bullshit on their partner." you are sitting up from his bed and move towards the door, Changbin following you.

"Of course I love you! I promise I won't do anything like that on you again!" he tries to stops you from leaving, but you just storm out, scaring the other 3 members that were chilling in the living room.

"You are right. You won't do it anymore on me, because we are done for real. Hope your future girlfriend will be treated better. Don't contact me anymore." and with that, you loudly shut the front door behind you as the words flew in the air and left Changbin in pure terror.

"What the fuck did you do??" Hyunjin asks all confused.

"I think he played that break up prank I showed him a few days ago." Han responds, feeling guilty for showing this to Changbin, knowing fully well that you are stressed out with exams.

"Leave him alone, guys." Chan interrupts the other two, when he sees that Changbin is starting to tear up as the realization that he lost you for good hits him hard. He takes a final look at his members, then goes back in his room and locks the door. He just now realized that he will feel unloved from now on, as he mentioned at the start of his joke.

As for you... You just went straight home, trying your best to maintain your emotions from getting out in public, as you process the thought of your just now break up. What you wanted to be a chill evening after a stressful day, turned out to be actually the end of what you loved the most.

Now you won't be able to get all the hugs and kisses you were craving before. As you just want to be left alone, too hurt to see him again.

Hwang Hyunjin☆

He saw the hell prank on the internet, he wanted try it on you, not knowing the potential consequences

He's lucky the outcome isn't tragical

"Hyunnie, I'm here!" you said as you arrived at his dorm. He texted you a few hours ago to pay him a visit after you get off work, as he wanted to talk with you. You did as your boyfriend asked. Not really paying too much mind about why he asked to see you all of the sudden.

"Oh... Hi" you take a look at your nervous boyfriend and starts to feel uneasy yourself. "Can we talk about something...?" he gulps as you make eye contact.

"Did something happen, love?" taking a sit on his bed, you let him gather his thoughts as he just pace back and forth in his room.

"Unfortunately... I'm forced to break up with you..." he says, not looking at you, knowing that his soft spot for your sad eyes will kill him in an instant.

"But we are allowed to date as long as it's not public our relationship. What are you talking about?" you are more confused than hurt, honestly. But of course you still feel sad hearing about all of this.

"Our managers are saying that I'm distracted easily. And they believe is because of you. I'm sorry, my beauty" he finally looks at you again, and instantly regretted everything as soon as he sees your face stained with tears already.

"It's ok. I understand." you get up and head towards the door to leave, wiping away the tears that keeps overflowing your eyes.

Hyunjin runs after you and hugs you extremely tight in his arms, that you almost can't breathe anymore. "I'm so, so, so, so sorry, my love! It was just a prank, I swear!!! I won't ever break up with you for real, doesn't matter who is forcing me to! I'd rather give up everything for you!"

"Are you serious? A prank?" you give your boyfriend a deadly stare when you hear his explanation.

"Yeah..." he looks so defeated right now by his stupid choice of actions.

"How old are you? 7?" you hit Hyunjin on the back of his head.

"Ow!!! I'm really sorry, ok!? I won't do it again! Can I have your forgiveness...?" he starts massaging the spot where you hit him as he's dramatically asking for you to stay with him and forgive him.

"Fine. You're forgiven. But I'm excepting lots of cuddles tonight." you pout and your boyfriend starts laughing at how cute you are.

"Of course, my muse."

.............................

✧ Masterlist ✧ ✧ Tag List ✧

@bangchansbae @tattywood @nebulousbrainsoup @https-skzology @sp00ky-spr1te

[familyagrestefanblog]

Clarification I definitely should have done ever since season 4 and the Ladynoir conflict started escalating, but hey, let's just get it out:

There are reasons why I'm harping down so badly on Miraculous' Girlboss feminism and defend Adrien as much as I do.

To get the feminist (in-universe) explaination out of the way first:

I would be lying if I said that I like the direction the show has taken Marinette's character and the story in general. But regarding her specifically I simply have to say that most of my problems with her are how she is written as Ladybug, Guardian, and especially leader & partner. Not in her civilian self. Hence why you won't find that alot on my blog, only when it contributes to the overarching double standards problem from s4 I take issue with.

I simply cant deny it, Ladybug is a kind of leader I just came to not be able to respect alot anymore in how she operates most things bc she doesn't really ever look passed how things look & stand for herself, and what SHE needs & wants. Marinette is a very low empathy person in the sense that she struggles putting herself in other people's positions, or remembers considering that at all.

But that's not the reason why I can't respect her as leader. I have ADD, that would be really hypocritical of me.

What leaves me unable to respect her as leader though (& honestly kinda even wanting Alya to take her position) is the fact that the show doesn't see much wrong with Maribug doing that.

They don't properly depict this as flawed leadership she actually NEEDS to grow out of by making up for her shortcomings by, for example, making other people her official co-leaders. Instead the show since s4 (& kinda s3) will proceed to put it's feminist foot down if Maribug isn't actually in the end 100% correct and "totally girlboss justified" in any given case - with CN & authorities specifically - no matter the context. Ergo she's barely ever truly improving her weakpoints in partnership skills for example & continues doing the same mistakes over n over.

like she genuinely would benefit from having Chat Noir as her co-leader too, not just Rena Rouge. But no. The neurodivergend low-empathy girl can't have a high-empathy boy co-leader bc apparently thats misogynistic now, huh ?

Again, I have ADD and I'm also a woman. In fact, I actually have alot in common with Maribug (hence why it hurt so much once s4 took her away from me), so forgive me when I still say: I am NOT going to lower my standards of my believe that neither of those aspects get to be an excuse on everyone else's expense regarding LEADERSHIP (which I do also am in the position of in my life).

And I repeat: LEADERSHIP. Not Marinette herself as a person necessarily & esp not her civilian life.

People always say that her critics wouldn't be so hard on her if she were a man, but I strongly disagree. In my experience, if Marinette were a boy people would actually draw a line nowadays and call out that Mariano is too stuck in his own head to be a good leader (& partner). And maybe even demand that he shouldn't be in that position anymore either at all or until he's in a better head space.

Bc with male characters people are actually drawing lines now in important factors when it comes to power & the accountability coming with it, bc in the end being in change means it ain't about you

Hence why e. g. Steve Rogers (Captain America) was then a fucking fugitive from the law when shit got real in the MCU. They had to do that bc of his leadership morality not being able to exist well within a corrupted & complex law system under fire and attack. My man's an amazing battle leader, but the MCU did VERY well leaving taking care of all kinds of social & political matters to Tony Stark. This kind of nuance ain't Steve's strength. Marinette & Steve are actually a EXTREMELY similar type of leader and it's interesting that I don't exactly vibe with him too much either in that regard, but like him as person the way I did Marinette. So for me it's definitely an issue with their type of leadership.

But the mainstream female leader characters are often still "too female" to get held to the same regular standards bc telling a female leader character in a complicated and not entirely beneficial situation & position 'yeah, it's sucks but you're not the center of the universe'' is now more often than not still "too mean/ sexist"

again, Steve was made an outlaw for a reason and you can bet if he had been a Stephanie people would have made all her struggles about sexism & called the 'outlaw leader' route after Civil War misogyny, merely bc "society doesnt respect women". This is whats happening with Maribug & it clashes with her leadership style.

Hence why there AREN'T ALOT of mainstream female leader characters. And if we get some, most of them are narratively defined by how powerful & in control they are for THEIR OWN BENEFIT and it being depicted as 100% right & just in general (like with Marinette) which goes against what a normal leader should be, so alot of people don't like them (ignoring the actual sexist people for a sec)

The first Wonder Woman movie for example was so well-received for a reason. They did it RIGHT (& may I please also recommend Wakanda Forever? Fuck, that movie was GOOD)

--

But yes, it's notably how Maribug treats Chat, who is supposed to be her partner and friend, that I take alot of issues with.

And yes, I would say the same if LB were male and CN female. Ladynoir is so rooted in toxic femininity that this "partnership" (or just the entire LS) the way it is could NOT exist today in gender bend. S4 and the s5 finale in particular are unthinkable in gender bend and they sold it as "justified female empowerment" & "unparalleled loving treatment" from Ladybug's side Chat Noir needed to learn to be GRATEFUL for.

All while, and I will never stop stressing this: the show has never stopped writing Marinette to treat Chat Noir as if he basically just spawns into existence once he puts on the mask. He's HALF a human being. Even once she falls in love with him in s5.

This is the fundamental and deep seeded problem of where my issues come from here. It never stands in question if Adrien views Marinette and Ladybug as full human beings, but the other way around that very much is the case. In whatever way it's depicted. Yes this is a line I draw, especially because of the whole Sentihuman thing.

I personally am alot more like Adrien regarding Friendship and partnership (or what his character initially started out). They are heavy & meaningful topics for me. So seeing Marinette being utilized to girlboss all that into the ground with Chat Noir, esp in s4, while she apparently barely ever even noticed anything wrong with how she treats him in the first place as she literally replaced him with Alya/ Rena in everything but name

cause buring him under a wall of secrets & lies meant she can still 100% benefit from his eternal devotion by letting him believe she's too alone to be a partner anymore AT ALL. (Kuro Neko onwards and then NEVER stopped letting him think she's just as alone as he is. NEVER. She's still doing it in s5 while leaving him 100% isolated which was then his demise in the s5 finale.)

and gives Alya the deluxe partnership entirely on his expense, while barely ever sparing him even the most basic thought in anything; & by "Risk" then literally having them switch status. Rena is her actual partner she fully treats that way and he's merely her favorite temp hero with no rights, which Rena was previously.

And the only reason why Chat was treated with something resembling to fairness or dignity again in season 5 (& finally wasn't a rag doll for her every little mood anymore...) was because Maribug plainly had no other choice and had her team & position of power taken away by force while Alya renounced for her own safety. And yet she's still treating him as half a human being even by the end of S5. AFTER her character development. He's Chat Noir and that's where his existence ends in her leadership & friendship. CN and Alya in s5 are literally 2 halves of ONE PARTNER.

All that was painful to watch to say the least. Bc it's imo honestly a disgrace to friendship and partnership. I can't put into words how ashamed I would be of myself if I treated someone the way Marinette treats Chat Noir (again, HALF A HUMAN BEING).

Much less a friend I claim to love dearly and don't want to loose (another thing the MCU did better regarding Steve's fall-out with Tony over Bucky... I should really make that comparison post why Steve works for me & Marinette doesnt)

Just the mere fact that Marinette in "Elation" even told Chat "It doesn't matter who's underneath your mask" is honestly outrageous.

Because thats simply what it is for me. If s4 & 5 Marinette were portrayed from a similar morality angle to Emonette in the Paris special I would have much less issues with her. Cause thats ironically an angle female characters barely get & is mostly used to redeem the broken bad boys with a hidden heart of gold™.

Double irony: s1-s3 actually DID put civilian Marinette often into that angle, hence why I really liked her, but then s4 suddenly said "well, her methods & actions really dont matter. She's wrong, but actually not really; ergo she should get rewarded in the end. Always. But with a few exceptions. Here n there she loses to claim otherwise. But actually the world just needs to learn how right & amazing she is."

She makes countless mistakes but often either doesn't really learn from them anymore or they just don't "count" bc that's 'what makes her quirky & loveable', so having any issues with her now means you hate women. And she's a very flawed leader but actually never did anything wrong. Ever. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

I will be VERY blunt now: The moment you put a female character into the leader role the FEMALE aspect is supposed to be of secondary importance. And a leader, by the nature of the position, ALWAYS has to be questioned morally wise in my opinion bc of the fatal blindspots that will automatically occur in every leadership.

And it happened here too: Chat Noir's treatment. But they demanded that her being the (female) leader means she's OWED to treat him badly & gets to keep him as blindspot on HIS expense bc she doesn't like thinking about him existing as civilian person.

A leader is ALWAYS somebody who is NOT going to sit well with everybody regarding their approach. That's a normal instinct, and in fact it would be highly dangerous if that wouldnt happen at all. So if I, or other people, don't respect her as one that simply means she has an opposition the way every leader has & is being held to normal standards a leader should be held to, regardless of gender.

Sorry if you think thats sexist, but in my opinion that's a YOU problem. I personally respect female leaders too much to not acknowledge them as anything else but the potential threats they are. The same way I do with male leaders.

You're leader first, woman second. If you can't handle that get out of the leadership position (yes, oc that also applies the other way around). Feminism was about making sure that women cant be excluded from e. g. position of power just bc we're female. The goal wasn't to have yet another group of people stomp their foots, now claiming that they are OWED power once they wanna have it to feel powerful. But that's what Marinette was used to teach an entire generation of children, especially girls.

The last thing you will EVER get me to do is accept that I should be holding women - specifically for equality, female empowerment and leadership - to LOWER (moral) standards as I would the men in her position.

Buddy, I am NOT gonna fucking do that. Just the thought is pissing me tf off, and has ever since s4, cause it directly plays into the misogynistic thinking of:

"Women can't be given power, status or even too much focus as human beings because they're too irrational and immature to be able to then lay proper priorities & take rightful accountability for their shit like a man in power could; and not just scream and cry while playing the oppressed victim card the moment things don't work out & they aren't being given the special female treatment to let them mostly off the hook consequences wise.

Leading to everyone around them, especially the MEN, having to step up, do the work & basically babysit the women like children - while still having to give her the credit as person in charge - turning the women more or less into toddlers wearing a queen's crown"

Which, by all means, Adrichat in every dynamic of the love square by season 5, Gabriel at the end of "Recreation" and even Luka & Félix (& "thankfully" Alya too since s4) had to do for Maribug in alot of ways.

Pick up all of her slack in several major areas & catering to her while simultaneously having to still give most of the credit to HER or else they would be "mean to the female lead" (it's also telling that Alya is treated the best here, & goodness dont get me started on Su-Han...).

And with that out of the way, a few more meta reasons:

1) I'm NOT watching a damn documentary. Marinette is NOT a 14 year old, she doesnt exist & isnt based on a real person or story. She's a fictional main character and narrative tool, so forgive me for approaching this differently than a real life case.

and 2) in everything I watch I automatically look out for the narrative's blind spots and victims of the writings' favorites. I take it this seriously because this is career related for me.

Hence why I have barely ever liked a main character and ironically Marinette/ Ladybug was once one of the few exceptions (alongside Korra from Legend of Korra and Blitz from Helluva Boss)

Look, when I for example watch Helluva Boss or a Yugioh show I will automatically pay extra attention to how the female characters are being treated bc they are obviously treated worse by the writing and much more neglected and scapegoated than the male characters.

Meanwhile when I watch Miraculous and She-Ra, I do the opposite and pay attention to how the male characters are treated bc now they have the gender-biase against them.

And when I for example watch Avatar the last Airbender or Legend of Korra [and She-Ra, that show is great], then I actually get to be mostly fucking happy for once in my life jfc

I'm not going to elaborate too much more on this because I already named by my main point in the beginning: Chat Noir's - not even Adrien's, I mean CHAT NOIR - sometimes honestly awful treatment being the biggest moral and narrative blind spot of the entire show, and honestly where most of Maribug's problems then are also rooted in. Hence why I started focusing so much on Chat Noir since season 4. I look at the overall narrative and circumstances and look for the blind spots that needs to be solved to get to the core of the problem of this whole mess, to get effective results.

And that was and even by the end remained the fact that Adrichat is treated so badly, scapegoated in every possible way in the name of "feminism" and kicked out of the story where HE is at the core of most everything going on, just so the show can force Maribug into everything, make things about her that have no business being about her

Just so she can then be made to constandly turn around and scream, cry and stress about problems - and go about them in the least effective way - that wouldnt be there in the first place if she wasnt the main character of a story that isnt hers.

Mate, I dont know what to tell you here, but the fact that we are following Marinette Dupain-Cheng ,who has nothing to do with anything besides being the cool action girl, is and will always remain of the of core problems of this show. I WISHED that wasnt the case. But for the love of everything, Kagami would have made so much more sense as the female lead, but no.

Anyway, I will leave it at that now cause I already elaborate much further than I initially wanted to, I just wanted to finally have all this stated.

This Blog is not a full representation of how I lay priorities in (feminist) media in general, my view adjusts to the piece of media I'm watching.

And unfortunately, ever since season 4 Miraculous turned into a full blown extreme case and has only gotten better somewhat recently. So I will continue doing what I always do: focus on the fucking VICTIM whose bad treatment pulls down the whole show's quality, and here that's plain obviously Adrien Agreste/ Chat Noir.

And with all due respect: Die mad about it.