#i can't make myself give much of a fuck to put effort into a Nice theme

[afawnable]

★ . . . god I'm newly eighteen and I'm so fucking horny. so to try and fix it I'm being the worst student known to man. turning up late. wearing the shortest skirts to show off my bare pussy. the thinnest tops with no bra so people will stare at my boobs. all so that I'll piss off my teachers so much. that they'll drag me to the staff room and lock the door.

★ . . . tell me to strip naked. and when i refuse they force me down. ripping and cutting the clothes off my body. not caring that they are literal scraps on the floor. a slut like me doesn't deserve clothes. especially when I've been such a bad girl. they'll take turns punishing me.

★ . . . spanking my ass till it's redder than the apple I stole from my math teacher that one time. then shoving my holes full of sex toys. forcing me to take orgasm after orgasm. all of them laughing at me while abusing my poor swollen cunt.

★ . . . writing words all over my body in permanent marker. like 'free use slut' 'cum dump' 'brain dead fuck toy' 'rape toy' 'breeding bitch' and more. and just as I'm about to pass out they slap me awake and drug me with asphoradic.

★ . . . telling me the main event is about to begin. forcing me to suck off and eat out all of my teachers while apologising for being such a bad girl. before forcing me to take multiple dicks at a time. stuffing me full of cum. taking me in multiple positions. recording me in the process so they can jake off to the video's later.

★ . . . they make sure all my holes get bred. to the the point where I'm covered in so much cum it's disgusting. but don't worry any cum that doesn't find it's way into my holes they'll make me lick myself self clean. a bitch like me shouldn't waste perfectly good cum.

★ . . . at one point the female teachers start feeling neglected and a bit left out while the male teacher rape all my holes. so they get out there straps and have there way with me. suffocating me while making me suckle on there massive tits forcing me to drink their milk like a good girl.

★ . . . and when my mouth isn't busy sucking on big fat heavy breasts it's it's busy chocking on nine inch straps and sucking on fat juicy pussy lips. the are loaded with my cum so I'm forced to taste myself over and over again.

★ . . . suddenly the door opens and in walks the principal vice principal and the school parent committee. the moment I see them I beg for them to help me to save me from his mess. but they just join in stripping down to nothing and joining in on the fun.

★ . . . I don't know at what point I stopped fighting them. maybe when they tied me down to the coffee table and started pouring hot wax over me. or maybe it was when I felt all of those hands touch and grope me. twisting my nipples leaving angry red bites and hickeys all over my body and shoving stuff in my holes to keep me nice and plugged. wouldn't want any of that spilling out now would we?

★ . . . or maybe it was when my best friends mom was riding my face. while she smacked my tits red with a flog. smacking harder when she noticed I slowed down telling me to put more effort in saying it was the reason I was such a bad student. and scolded me for being a bad influence on her daughter

★ . . . "thank god my sweet jessie is nothing like this, your enjoying this aren't you getting fucked like some cheap whore god but god do you have a talent with that tongue of yours. if I had it my way i'd lock you in my basement and keep you as my pet how does that sound? I'd buy you a nice shiny collar keep you in tight skimpy outfits or better yet nothing at all, turn you into mine and my husbands favorite bitch. what was that? no? I can't hear you guess your mouth is so full of pussy it's left you speachless not like i'd give a whore like you a say anyway."

★ . . . while my or three other friends dads filled me up with there dicks. two in my pussy and one in my ass. the three of them casually talking about work and fishing. and all discussing how my parents should take advantage of having such a slut daughter.

★ . . . "if I had one like her I wouldn't stop raping her no matter how many time I would get her pregnant, not to mention she would make a fortune if I rented her out. not that a slut like you would mind isn't that right sweetie. oh my wife would love you, young dumb and so willing to spread your legs. I can't blame for jason wanting to be friends with you"

★ . . . all of them agreeing to inquire if they could 'borrow' me a couple times a week. and continued to fuck me while my teachers graded my tests from final week. all naked and now nursing glasses of wine as they enjoyed watching me get fucked to death.

★ . . . eventually the principal vice principal and the school parent committee all had to leave. but not after taking there fare share of photo's and video's of my messy fucked out form. while also covering me in one final orgasm. before stepping over my limp abused body. leaving without another look.

★ . . . leaving me with my teacher once again. who first scolded me for failing all my test. before beginning my punishment. but stopped for a second when I cried saying my parents are waiting for me. see I had been trapped in the staff room all day and the sun was minutes away from setting. but they all told me not to worry as they had called my parents to let them know I will be taking private tutoring sessions which require me to stay in school full time. and they shouldn't expect me home for the foreseeable future. and to my horror they agreed signing the legal paper work with out batting an eye.

★ . . . "your folks were rather eager to sign you over to us, though I can blame them a stupid fucking whore like you could test even a saints patience. oh don't cry love we've found something your actually good at, being a brain dead slut! isn't that amazing?"

★ . . . and with that my punishment began. rape me till I was pregnant. which I didn't even have the energy to fight. as I was too tired and not on birth control. so I was definitely getting knocked up. and there was nothing I could do to stop it. while they all whisper filthy words in my ear. about how I'll definitely get pregnant with there rape baby. so I'll be forced to drop out and have to rely on them. but I shouldn't worry they'll all take turns looking after me. locking me up in there homes. keeping me naked well fucked and full of cum. letting them and there partners heck even there parents have there way with me. like the true whore that I am. but that was for later !!

[amadeoapologist]

i also think armand fundamentally does not know how to make people happy because he himself is unhappy. i was talking with my friend about louis and how louis still uses human markers of wealth and success that lestat and claudia and armand don't understand. louis wants to own things, he wants to invest in profitable endeavors. i don't think he wants to laze about in his wealth, but he wants to work hard and have it pay off and he wants to see the tangible products of his efforts.

and i'm bringing this up in relation to armand because i think this mindset explains some of the disconnect in dubai, beyond just the circumstances with lestat that got them there. because louis feels lobotomized to me in his cold modern penthouse where he's disconnected from his food, he's disconnected from other vampires, he doesn't work. he buys and sells artwork he appears to have only a passing interest in, he's tempered his accent. he sleeps in a bed and not a coffin, he eats at the table.

and i've been trying to wrap my head around that and how he ended up there, but i'm starting to think a lot of that is armand trying to give louis what he thinks louis wants to feel satiated. louis wants independence and nice things and obvious markers of wealth. so. have this penthouse with the most coldly, impersonally stylish decor. acquire this expensive artwork and then sell it so you can buy something more expensive. if you won't hunt, then here--dine on fine china.

i'm not saying armand holds all the money or anything, we don't know their finances. but i could see him continuously providing louis with expensive things in the hopes that will satisfy louis' desire to feel successful (and also because he has a metric fuckton to make up for and this is one way he tries), but it doesn't because what is louis doing to earn it? money makes money and it seems like louis doesn't have to do anything any more but coast, which is, as armand fears, boring. but idk if he knows how to address that because armand doesn't understand louis' perspective in the first place.

i think i love and empathize with armand so much because he's the one character on the show who feels, at his core, like he isn't good enough. i don't think this is as much a struggle for louis or lestat or claudia, but i think it is for armand. armand is pathetic. he's morally void, and he's too damn weak to grow a fucking backbone and stand by his choices without couching them in lies, because he can't accept being perceived as someone who would make those decisions. he wants affection. he craves approval.

(lmao old school a/n here--i wrote most of this before the finale and damn......i was spot on re: armand couching choices in lies lolololol)

people keep making posts about how armand seems a bit too invested in daniel's opinion of him. and obviously there's an armandiel bent to those, but i also think it's because daniel is the most objective person in the room. he isn't objective because he's tangled up in their story, too, but he's outside of the partnership. he's a journalist. he's an archivist of some version of the truth. and i think he wants daniel to see him how he wants to be seen. he didn't want daniel to think he was boring in san francisco, and he doesn't want daniel to think he's boring now decades later. he wants the external validation from someone outside of his unit to tell him he did the best he could. which obviously daniel won't do, which makes armand want it more.

there's a very good chance i'm completely wrong and talking out my ass and just a pathetic armand apologist myself, but idk. every episode makes me more curious about him. i started season 2 really disinterested in armand and lowkey put off by his presence. but the season has shifted things for me slowly but surely, and now i think armand is one of the most interesting characters on the show. and that makes me love him even more.

[jellieland]

"Joe Hills?"

"Recording as I always do from Nashville, Tennessee! Who's askin'?" Joe turns around, and blinks.

Looking very incongruous in the vast and empty seabed he is in the process of digging out below his pinball machine, is a man.

He has a sword, sheathed, at his hip. Tied to the pommel is something that looks a bit like those charms - the ones you used to be able to put on phones, y'know? Hanging from it is a shard of green crystal, a wooden carving of a sunflower, and a red feather. It's a nice little charm, if a fairly random collection of objects.

The scar across his face is very obvious, although Joe is never going to be the kind of jerk who would make that the first thing he comments on.

He's also holding a poker chip, which he keeps tossing and catching. That's some fairly impressive dexterity!

"I'm here to give you a warning." Says the man.

Joe squints at him. "You're not one of those dreamsimps, are you? I keep hearing about that, whatever it is."

"Excuse me?" His expression suddenly looks pretty intense, although Joe can't really work out why. Unless...

"Or wait, no, I saw this! Oh, I wasn't sure, you can probably clear this up- are you a cat, or a municipality?"

"Fucking excuse me?"

"Your name?"

The man - Quake city, wasn't it? - narrows his eyes. "Quackity."

"Huh! That is not how I thought that was pronounced! Well, it's good to meet you! Convenient, in fact. I was just thinking about how I should know my enemy, since I've been putting so much effort into knowing myself lately!"

Quackity glares at him, hand twitching towards the scar on his face for a moment. "Sun Tzu. Really." He tosses and catches the poker chip again.

"Yeah, I feel like he has a lot of wisdom worth considering! Why, do you disagree?"

Quackity turns away slightly, though not enough that Joe would be out of his field of vision. "You've done your research, huh?"

"I mean. I tried! It was a bit confusing - there's so many different kinds of dream, you know? Like- have you heard of the Butterfly Dream?"

Quackity tosses the poker chip one last time, catches it, and shoves his hand in his pocket. "Why should I care?" He practically snarls. "Why the fuck would that be relevant?"

"Oh, uh. I think it's relevant to basically everyone, all the time, since-"

"I am here," Says the man with the poker chip, "To tell you that you are going to loose. I was planning on letting you try to bargain, but I'm already done with your stupid mind games. I am not like any of those idiots you've faced before. You're gonna have to try harder than that if you want to manipulate me."

Joe blinks at him. "Ok??"

He rolls his eyes. "Fine. Go on. Tell me about the Butterfly Dream".

"...sure! It's a story by Zhuang Zhou - a different ancient Chinese philosopher, if you're not a fan of the last one."

"Sounds great."

"It is! The basic premise is that he dreamed he was a butterfly. And in that dream, he wholeheartedly believed that he was a butterfly - that was his whole life, with everything that entailed. And then he woke up, and- well, of course he was a human, with a human's life and ideas and hopes and dreams."

Joe makes a gesture that attempts to capture all the enormity of the human experience with the green stained glass pane he's holding.

"But how could he really know which was true? Was he a human dreaming of being a butterfly, or a butterfly dreaming of being a human?"

Quackity gives him a look that he can't quite read. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. And believe me, I've heard some pretty stupid things."

Joe shrugs. "I thought it was interesting. And I've decided to believe it means dreams can be basically as good as true until you're given reason to think otherwise! Like that time in the Falsewell Motel in-"

"I don't care what you've decided to believe. I'm not entertaining your weird thought experiment about how maybe everything I've built is just a dream. I've told you to be ready, and if you're not then that's on you." He turns, ready to go.

"You know I haven't lost so far either, right?"

And he stops. Turns back. "Oh, but you will. You will. And when you do, you will remember this moment. And you'll know who beat you."

"I mean. If I do, I won't really care. Don't get me wrong, I would love to win! I've put a lot of work in, I even bought some extra eyes. But it's just a competition." He shrugs. "I think it might be kind of nice to be a butterfly, anyway. Lot less to worry about."

Quackity stares at him for a long moment.

"You're not what I expected." He says.

"Glad to see that the "cryptic and unknowable" part of my campaign is going well!"

"Don't think I'm done with you. I will win. Whatever it takes."

"You seem like a worthy opponent! Good luck, because you should know - even death herself could never stop me! At least not for very long!" He grins. "And oh boy did she try!"

Quackity laughs. "Luck? Luck works for me. Haven't you heard?" He tosses Joe the poker chip. Joe fumbles and drops it. "The house always wins!"

And with that, he's gone.

Joe picks up the poker chip. It's an interesting little thing, but poker isn't the card game he's most concerned with at the moment.

He's lost a lot of the matches he's played in the TCG to poor draws, recently. That hasn't stopped him enjoying it, though!

He's never really needed luck to be on his side. Which is good, because it rarely is.

He tends to get by anyway.

[the-ocean-in-motion]

A post for publicly sharing the products of my Drawfee Lalafell idol project!

(if u don't know what the fuck I'm saying just scroll on)

NOTE: I am not affliated with Drawfee I just stole their logo for that edit. I'm not making money Julia pls don't sue me

FAQ

Q: Why do this? A: Fatal case of brainworms

Q: How long did you spend on making these? A: Too long. Enough questions

Jokes aside, here's a proper intro to what this is for people who aren't in that one very specific discord: As a creative project of sorts, I decided to make 4 Lalafells in FFXIV based on the Drawfee crew (youtubers). SPECIFICALLY these are based on their Newsday Comic Designs, because there's only so much staring at real people's faces really zoomed in I can do before I start feeling like a creep.

So, No, these are not "lifelike" or even "as close to life like as i can make potato people in a 10 year old video game". They're based on stylized ideas of people, warped by my creative liberty. That left me more space to make them cute instead of uncanny valley, which I'm sure any drawfee members that see this post might appreciate too.

They're also all heavily modded. It's more fun for dressup.

With that said! Onwards to the pictures (and design notes)!

Nathan: I actually "made" the beard for this myself - or, rather, I refitted it from a modded beard for Roegadyn. I even made an effort to mold it into a rough flower shape, but I'm afraid it doesn't show up that well. Still, remembering that there is no full beard for Lalafell in the vanilla game, I think it actually looks quite cute! For this "casual" fit I made an effort not to make Nathan look too fashion-y. Of course, they're idol photoshoot style pics, so I still had to dress him up a bit! With this sporty fit with the fun big red boots reminiscent of early video game character designs, I think I landed in a pretty nice middle ground.

Julia: This is the only design I paid real life money to make. I spent forever futzing with free hair mods trying to find one I liked, but in the end I forked over a few bucks to an experienced hair modder's online shop and got this hair that comes with all the features I wanted. Can't say I regret the purchase, it's very pretty. For the outfit, I knew what I wanted pretty much immediately. I have had this outfit mod for a long time, but I've never really known what to use it for. It feels very Julia, even if I can't remember necessarily seeing her wear this kind of thing before. Maybe it just feels French, and I associate Julia with France?

Karina: Karina's face sculpt mod was very easy to decide. Looking at the list of the free female Lala faces, I saw one that looked like a little shit - and named "Give Me the Phone" - and immediately knew it was perfect. I had to edit this hair to become hat compatible for later outfits, but overall this one was full of easy picks. Maybe I'm projecting too hard, though? I even dressed her in a top I modded for myself, after all.

Jacob: Jacob's design is one I agonized over, because finding a hair for him was quite hard. Short hair mods are rarer than long ones, and Newsday Jacob's hair is very distinctive. In the end I had to settle for a more realistic style, but I'm told it still reads as him. I wound up putting Jacob in maybe the cutesy-est outfit of the four. I don't think he'd mind, but either way the funny little overalls were too big a temptation for me to resist. Accessorising with bandages is where my weeb roots really shine through, though. Portraits done, here's the additional materials I've made!

Drawfee Kindergarten Field trip! Fun fact, I took this screenshot mere seconds before the dungeon I used as a set kicked me out, which means I spent the entire instance timer just deciding on accessories and posing! Where are they going? To see the big squid at the Aetherfont's center, of course!

The first music video! Motions not by me, I'm not that talented, these are retargeted Project Sekai dances (retargeting also not by me lmao animation modding scares me)

Childish war is such a fun song and dance, never mind the fact that none of the "personalities" really work for drawfee. It's dancing lalas! Who cares!

That's it! I might do more music videos or photo shoots in the future, but that's highly dependent on my brain chemistry, so truly nothing is certain. If you made it this far, I hope my silly little project brought you some joy! (and olive) And hey!

Check this out!

[galaxyedging]

Nothing but 1k of dirty Agent Whiskey thoughts under the cut.

Imagine being Jack's girlfriend and calling him while he's flying.

Long Distance Relations

"Jac…I…iss..ou."

"I can't quite hear you Darlin'. I'm flying out on a mission." 

"O…call…when you...an"

"Now, hold on. Give me a minute. Is that better?"

"Much."

"Now what were you saying?"

"I miss you Jack."

"I know. I miss you too. I'm sorry I had to jump on another mission after the last one."

"It's okay. I get that your work is important."

"So are you, Sugar. I'm gonna get this all tied up and get straight back to you."

"I hope you can. It's a little lonely in this big old house without you."

"I promise, when I get back, I won't leave you alone for a second. You won't be able to breathe for me."

"That's sweet but maybe a bit much. I am kind of enjoying having this big bed all to myself."

"So you're in bed? What are you wearin'?"

"Jack!"

"What? I miss you."

"I'm wearing that shorts set with the little daisies on it."

"The one that barely covers anything?"

"I get hot sleeping next a human furnace."

"You just make me run hot all the time."

"Flattery will get you nowhere."

"Maybe not now but I'm sure I'll reap the rewards once I get home."

"Are you wearing anything underneath that set?"

"No. I just got out of the shower. I wanted a little freedom."

"So you're all nice and clean? Why don't we see if I can get you a little dirty?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, why don't I help you enjoy that big bed that you have all to yourself?"

"Jack! You can't be serious. People could be listening!"

"This is the most secure channel on the planet. If someone can get past Ginger's security, they deserve to listen. Hell, they deserve to join us."

"I wouldn't go that far."

"Well how far would you go for me? Would you go as far as to take those cute little shorts off?"

"I can't believe I'm…okay. Done."

"Now how about that little tank top that stretches over those perky nipples? I love nippin' at them through that soft cotton."

"Done."

"Good girl. Now, I want you to touch yourself…"

"Oh, Jack!"

"Baby, I hope you didn't just dive straight in! A beautiful lady like you deserves to be seduced."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I want you to go slow. Start with your breasts. Touch them. Caress them. Tell me when those nipples are nice and hard."

"They are."

"Good. Now pinch them. We both know you like it rough."

"Oh, shit."

"That's it. Are you nice and wet now?"

"Yes."

"Good, but we're still not done yet. I want you to trail your fingers up your thighs, along the soft skin but stop before you reach your pussy. Try using your nails lightly too. Feel good?"

"Not as good as if you were doing it."

"Flattery with get you fucked good and hard when I get home. Right, now I want you to trace around your folds teasingly. No touching your clit or slipping a finger inside."

"Jack."

"Don't be inpatient, Honey. I'm not there to give it to you good so we've at least got to put some effort into this."

"But I need it."

"Need what?"

"Anything. I need to cum."

"Okay. You can start touching yourself but you can't come unless I say. Agreed?"

"Yes, Jack."

"Mmm. From the sound of it you're close already."

"I am. Been thinking about you all afternoon."

"Really? What about me?"

"The first time we did anal on the fur rug by the fire."

"Jesus! I'm still flying a plane, Baby. You can just say shit like that to a man."

"So you remember it too?"

"Naughty fucking girl. What are you doing now?"

"Circling my clit."

"Hold off on that for a minute and slip a finger inside. I want to hear how wet you are."

"Ohhh. God. I wish you were here Jack."

"Me too, Baby. Me too. Slip another one in and start pumping them. Oh, that's it. You sound soaked. You'd take me so well."

"I always do, don't I?"

"Oh, yes, you do. Now I want you to curl those fingers. Find that little rough patch and give it some attention."

"Jack. I'm close."

"Stop for me, Darlin'. Take a minute."

"But Jack.."

"I know. I know. It will be worth it. Remember that time I got you to squirt all over me? You just have to be a little patient. Be a good girl for me."

"Okay. I'll be good for you."

"So good. Now start drumming your fingers against that spot. I know it's not as good as my fat cock but I'm sure you can make do."

"For now."

"Good. Now start playing with your clit too. Just like I do when you ride me. Fuck. I love watching you bounce on my cock. Those pretty tits in my face."

"Jack. I'm close."

"You wanna cum this time?"

"Yes, please."

"You can beg better than that."

"Please, Jack. Please, Baby. I'm so close. I need it."

"If I let you cum, what do I get out of it?"

"Anything you want. You can put it anywhere and cum wherever you want."

"I'd be a fool to pass that up. Work your fingers in and out quicker. Draw tighter, faster circles on your clit. Fuck, I should have called you this morning. You wanna know why?"

"Fuck. Why?"

"So you could hear me jerk off to the thought of shooting my load all over your pretty face."

"Oh. Jack. Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. Yes. Yes. Yes. Baby. God."

"That's my girl. Did that feel as good as it sounded?"

"Better."

"I'm glad I could be of service. Just so you know, Ginger records everything and I will be listening to this again in my hotel room later."

"JACK!"

Tags @kirsteng42 @prolix-yuy @thegreenkid2 @hquinzelle @fangirl-316 @gracie7209 @jedifarmerr @doommommy @scorpio-marionette @sturkillerbase @harriedandharassed @aynsleywalker @mswarriorbabe80 @quica-quica-quica @rise-my-angel @adancedivasmom @graciexmarvel @kinda-nobody @movievillainess721 @munsonownsmyass

[notmorbid]

the guest.

dialogue prompts from the guest: a novel by emma cline.

you've always been good at seeing things clearly.

compared to the city, this is heaven.

what are people seeing in my aura?

i have no memory of it, but it's possible.

things i touch start to seem doomed.

it's always best not to know too much.

we had fun, didn't we?

you're nice, in your demented way.

a date? an actual date?

this is real, you and me. or it could be.

isn't it better to give people what they want?

you aren't close with your family?

i'm no longer vulnerable to your opinion.

do you need anything, before i head out?

this is a convincing substitute for a life.

no problem is unsolvable.

who could be threatened by a girl scout?

people just want to hear their own voices.

certain places make you feel like all problems have solutions.

what would it take to get you to break character?

i don't really think it's that kind of party.

am i misreading the vibe?

there are many ways to keep knowledge for yourself.

i should've put on real clothes. shoes, at least.

do you have something you want to tell me?

we were friends, weren't we?

i think we've met, maybe, right?

my life before seems a million miles away.

everyone here has known me too long.

do you want a beer?

i'm a vegetarian, mostly.

it would make sense if none of this were real.

whenever i'm scared, i just make myself believe it's all a movie.

i actually like cooking. it relaxes me.

i'd rather sit in here with you.

you don't seem old enough to have a kid.

you can kick me out whenever you need to, really.

come sit with me. please. i'm lonely.

i can make literally anything you want. i went to bartending school.

who would want to fuck ____?

what do we think? good or bad?

i did something that can't be undone.

just get out, okay?

do you think it's not obvious, what your deal is?

sugar doesn't grow your bones.

sorry, i'm visiting. i don't know the rules.

i'm not even a grownup.

i have you. you're okay.

wait. are you feeling sorry for me?

i didn't feel well. i left early.

i'll bet you were one of those kids who never seemed young.

you're, like, really pretty.

people's unhappiness can infect you.

what's your accent?

i kind of wondered if i'd see you.

you don't actually care. you care about seeming like you care.

it's easy to be nice to you.

good to see you out and about.

where'd you go? i missed you.

is there some place quieter?

what bad things could ever befall you?

when you cover something up, it makes people look harder.

i'm gonna kiss you. yeah?

how come you don't tell me anything?

i wish we could just stay here and never go home.

most people never feel how they're supposed to feel.

i'm tired of you keeping tabs on me, acting like i'm a kid.

it looks worse than it actually is.

where are you? how come i'm all alone?

you can't just make this disappear.

it sounded true when i was saying it.

all is good. all is well. lovely, even.

you'll forget it all, with a little effort.

[thewritersaddictions]

Bases: Negan Smith- Chapter 5 All For You

Pairing: Negan Smith x Fem!Reader

Pov: Negan Smith/Reader

Warnings: PinA, PinV, Smut, wrap it before you tap it, Alexandria, Mention of Rick Grimes, Time jump, Dom&Sub relationship, 'I love you' uttered, angst, fluff, zombies, the walking dead.

Summary: While in Alexandria, you can't help but see just how hot Negan is, so you ask to take your relationship just a bit further Negan doesn't deny you the pleasure.

A/n- @ firefly graphics for dividers

WC- 4.7k

The Walking Dead Master List // The Wanderers Master List // Series Master List

“I should be back later tonight, darlin'.” I said to Y/n as I hooked my leather jacket around my shoulders. Y/n was still lying in bed. Bed hair was evident even if she tried to smooth it down as she lifted herself to her elbows. Watching me walk around the room. Today was the first actual meeting with Ricky Dicky. He had gladly told us where his settlement was, an old housing development called ‘Alexandria’. Fine by me as long as he listened to the rules and made sure not to fuss about things. 

“Do you have to go…” Y/n whined. I wanted to roll my eyes. Sometimes her whines were the sounds of heaven to me, and other times it was like nails on a chalkboard. “Sweetheart, I’ll be back later on.” A pouty bottom lip was thrown out as she gave the best version of her puppy dog eyes. I walked over, putting a hand on the wall to support myself as I leaned down to meet her gaze. “Put that bottom lip away unless you want me to do somethin’ about it.” Y/n was relentless, sticking her bottom lip out even further. I reached even further down, our lips brushing and the pouting lips falling back. “If I kiss you, will you shut up and return to bed, sweetheart?” I ask, feigning annoyance. Y/n looked up at the dimly lit ceiling, “Take all the time you need to answer me.” Sarcasm dripped from each letter. 

“I’ll take your kiss.” Y/n finally obliged as I finally got to brush my lips against hers. Our teeth didn’t clash, and our tongues didn’t dance together. This was a kiss of equal admiration and love. I had yet to say those words, but I always felt that actions were better than words. You could say whatever you wanted and make it mean something, but to hell if your actions didn’t speak louder than words to anybody else. This world, or the old one, efforts ruled it. A cold small hand came to wrap around the base of my neck. Pulling me in desperately. I'd never leave this bed if I didn’t fight this war. I pulled away, “I’ve got to go…” I huffed out as my lungs filled with air, “But…’ She whined once more. I pressed a finger into her wet lips. “No more buts. How about this? Whenever I get home, I’ll give you another proper fucking.” Y/n’s eyes were blown out at the sound of my words hitting her ears. She nodded quickly, and for once, Y/n shut up and did as she was told. 

The trip to alexandria has been eventful in a way that left me sore in the shoulders, and aching to fall asleep on nice sheets, a fluff pillow and his girl between his arms. Regardless though Negan still has to get through the rest of the day’s trip. Rick is being well submissive in the best of words and it sends a great feeling to my ego. Yet, all I can think of is Y/n. How much desperate she was that I stay this morn’, how she grabbed me hard and pulled me down to meet her lips when she had gotten frustrated with my play of games. 

I don’t stop thinking about her until he’s back into the halls of the sanctuary. The halls are filled with bickering people, but the sound of doors shutting and people going to bed. Lures me as well to my own bed. A sleeping figure lays in loosely in the shape of my bed. Hair spread out across the pillows and she’s curled into herself like a ball. I can’t help but want to climb into bed beside her. I promised her a good fucking before I had left for Alexandira. So I planned for just that thought, I stripped down placing my bat Lucille down on the floor. Stripping out of the black leather jacket throwing that on to the couch back. My t-shirts lands on the floor, along side with my jeans and boxers. 

I pulled the sheets back allowing for cold air and myself to slot in behind the curl up ball that is Y/n. She hums with approval as I pull her closer to my stomach. My cock stirs to life as it presses agasint the swells of her ass. She moans as I buck myself into her ass, I slip my hand around her waist grazing my hand closer to her panties. She moans agasint the pillows with soft breaths leaving her mouth. I press my lips into her neck, sucking gently on her skin. I rut myself into me ass and my fingers play at the edges of her panties and then I dip my fingers I inside of her panties. 

Her slick covers my fingers as I plunge them into her cunt. She sighs softly, and she shifts in her sleep. “Fuck, so wet for me.” I whisper mostly to myself. I’m gently with my movements, but the feel of her tight cunt sucking me in, my hips quicken up as I contiune to rut my hips into her. My cock throbs from the aching feeling. When I feel that I’ve properly stretched her out, I pull my fingers out, dripping down to my wrist. I suck on my fingers loving the taste of her. 

I wipe my fingers on the side of the sheets before digging my hand back under the sheets, and pulling her panties to the side. This pair is just like the other, instead green with a little bow on the front of them. With her panties moved to the side I wait for a moments beat to make sure she’s still pretty much asleep. I grab the back of her knee, hiking it up as I shift on the bed to slot myself between her thighs. 

Warm skin touches my own, and I dazzle at the sensation it brings along with it. I rub up and down her inner thigh as I edge myself closer to the sweet, dripping hole. It’s all but calling for me to just slip right in, and fuck her nice and good. Nice a proper like i had promised Y/n, just a few hours ago. Y/n moans loudly as I slip the head of my cock into her tight walls. Her hand squeezes around the sheets tightly, making her knuckles turn white. My breathe is broken a little as I come to a full hilt. Her walls are tight around me and as I pick up my slow thrusts my hips bang up agasint hers. She groans beside me, “Fuck!” She says in a hushed, and broken voice. 

“There you go.” I mutter as my hips continue to thrust. “Negan!” She moans softly before bucking up agasint me. “Shit you’re so tight for me.” I can’t really think of words as I slip my cock almost all the way out before plunging it back into her. “NEgan… please, oh god you’re… fuck you’re so… so big.” Y/n is awake now, her moves her arms so she can wrap it around my arm on her wasit. Keeping us tightly connected to each other. “So good!” 

– 

Two months later Y/n is begging to go with me on our next trip. Alexandria isn’t really where I want to bring her. Rick is still off, not quiet there yet to be a good, submissive, ideal to support the sanctuary but Y/n won’t shut up about it. “Don’t leave me here again please, Negan!” she begs me as she notices the plan written down on the paperwork I have next to me. For nearly a week she begs me, in many different ways. Verbally asking me, getting down on her knees sucking my cock wishing and hoping that I’ll take her alongside me, she even turns into a little housewife in the short week. Taking care of all the cooking, cleaning off my bloody jeans or shirts. Hell she even meticulously cleans off Lucille with care. 

Eventually I end up just conceding. Y/n wakes up that morning with a bright smile on her face, white teeth shining as the morning sun glows on the horizon. The truck is tight, so that leads for Y/n to end up sitting on my lap. She tries to stay still in my lap, but let’s be honest she’s far to excited to not be jumpy, and bumping in my lap as we drive down the roads. 

I try to keep my thoughts mild, trying to think of what bullshit will happen when we make it to Alexandria. I’m mot sure why I’m so fucking anxious, it’s not like Rick would really try anything. I had given him long enough already to get his shit together. We had already taken what we wanted, guns, food even though that was limited. All together it hadn’t been to be of a run out, but now that Y/n was with us there was something different about the way my chest felt, and how my stomach chruned at the thought of Y/n standing beside me or even behind me. “I don’t really like Simon.” She had said one night as the two of us laid in be with each other. I hummed at her words, “ I’m not a fan of him either, but he gets the fuckin’ job done.” I told her out right and simply, that Simon probably wasn’t gonna go anywhere any time soon. “I just… he gives me the creeps negan.” She whispered before shifting to face towards me. 

Before I knew it the conversation was an afterthought as all I could think of now was the way that Y/n felt pressed up against me. Her ass pressed into my crotch as she hips bouncing with each every knot in the road that simon hit. His eyes never left the road, and two cars behind us never felt the view of the review mirror. “Oh Negan thank you so much… You just don’t even know how excited I am to be out and about again.” She’s glowing from above me, her eyes light up, and her cheeks are rosey. “I know dear, but can you promise me something?” I ask her, taking a hold of her gently in my lap. Y/n hums, looking over her shoulder at me. “I want you… need you to stay close to me. Can you do that for me, darling?” I ask her the last part whispered into her ears, as she shivers in my lap and hold around her waist. “Yes.” It’s a sigh of her words, but that’s alright as long as she’ll be safe with me that’s all I care about. 

The gates of Alexandria open, and the little neightoboor that has now been turned into a town is awake with our arrival. The truck comes to a stop and Simon jumps out. Give Y/n, and I a bit of privacy before we get out ourselves. Y/n doesn’t show that she’s worried by any means, hell the smile written on her beautiful feature in a sense is almost creepy. “Are you ready?” My own panic showing through my question. She nods, before leaning down to grab my chin and pulling me in for a soft, and chaste kiss. I breathe her in, the sweet scent that follows her around, and the ray of sunshine on even the stormy days. 

She hops down from the spot on my lap, and I grab Lucille before following behind her. She takes the surrounds, she seems entranced by the pool of water that’s in the middle of the neighboord, but before she can go off and disappear from my sights. I grab her wrsit pulling her close to my side. I take her to the man of the show, Rick. Who looks like he’s seen a ghost, and then become one. Pale, and sweaty from the place that I stand. “Be good baby, and I promise we’ll be back home soon enough.” I say before dropping her hand and walking towards the center of the stage. 

— 

Negan swings his arms above his head, Lucille looks sharp in his grasps and the nails sparkles under the hot sun. I’ve been standing off the side of Negan for the past twenty minutes, watching as he contiluy get’s angry then looks back at me and I smile sweetly at him. He breaths in and turns back with a new look at whatever they’re talking about in front of me. 

The yelling and the swinging of his bat happen just seconds later. The smile I guess hadn’t been enough. I can’t help the excitement that rolls through my body as Negan grows dominant over the people who look like they’re scared shitless. I want to stay where I am, but the growing ache in between my thighs is new. The conversation that I had heard just a few days ago is sitting awake at the fore front of my mind. A group of younger ladies talking about some rather sexual things. An older one of them mentioned something, and it’s been rolling around in my head for days now. 

Negan shouts loudly, and then there’s sounds of shouts and scream that aren’t his voice, but I can’t seem to care. All I can think of is the bend and curve of his back, and upper arms. The way his muscles flex under the fabric that is barely holding him. I know for a fact that his shoulders, and back have crescent of my nails imprinted all over. It’s causes the ache to grow even more. I step forward without thinking, and with that I walk over to him without thinking. Grabbing the meat of his bicep. “Negan?” I ask softly. “Huh?” He’s shook when he notices that it’s me, and that I’m softly touching him in front of these random people. “Y/n didn’t I tell you to…” He eyes me down, his eyes landing on the tops of my breasts and then he’s grazing down the rest of my body before his eyes land on my own. 

I lick my lips, sticking my tongue out. “Negan… I want to go home.” I try to figure out my words. “Then…” He turns an eyes Simon. “Simon will take you home.” Negan says turning his attention back to the people in front of him. I shake my head, “negan i want to go home with you.” he eyes me again. Negans drops his arms. “Go home?” He questions. I nod and bite my bottom lip before squeezing his bicep and walking towards the truck with a sway in my hips.

On purpose, because the ache between my thighs is more then I can take. 

—

“You my friends… Rick… you should count yourself lucky. My darling over there has naughty plans that I'd rather deal with then you.” I turn over to look at Simon, “You’ll deal with the aftermath of this correct?” I question him and give him not time to answer. I grab my bat and twirl it around my hand. I walk past Simon with a pat on his shoulder, my heart pumps. Y/n is sitting up on the chair I was using, I grab the wheel and pull myself into the cab. I don’t ask Y/n at first until we’ve reversed and left the town of Alexndria, hell I don’t care to ask her. Just the thought of her tight hole gripping me and pulling me in has me more then okay with not talking. 

When i hear the click of the seatbelt I look over at Y/n. As she shifts from the chair to my lap. “Darlin’ what are you doing?” She pulls her hair to one side of her neck. “Just wanted a taste of you so badly, I wanna ask you something, but I gotta get up the courage somehow right?” her voice is so innocent, but her actions as she reaches to undo the belt, the button, and finally the zipper of my jeans. 

I hadn’t noticed how tight my jeans felt until she was popping the button, and pulling down the zipper. “Can you help me, sir?” Her nickname goes straight to my cock, causing a wet spot to sport my boxers. I’m not ashamed by any means, just surprised by how forward Y/n is being with me. I lift my hips helping her to get my jeans off my hips, and when she wraps her hand around my cock it’s almost all over for me. My knuckles go white around the steering wheel, as I try to focus on the road, She jerks my cock in her hand before giving the head a few kittens licks, and kisses. “Oh sweet fuckin’ jesus.” I groan as my hold become ridgid on the wheel. She pops up, looks up at me. “Not jesus sweetheart, just me.” My brows knit together at the sudden full blow of confidence and sass that’s coming from her. 

I don’t stop looking at the road, not even has her mouth sinks down on my cock. “What… oh fuck… what did you need sweetpea?” I ask her, through groans and shapr chances for breath. The head of my cock hits the back of her thaort and she gags around me, spit falling from each sides of her mouth. She’s beautiful as she moans around my cock, accidently bucking into her mouth. The sounds of her are lewd and driving me crazy. I don’t even feel my high reach it’s hilt until it’s too late and my head falls back slightly. A hand leaves the wheel as I force Y/n to take my load. She swallows with delight, and continues to suckle at my cock until the feeling is unbearable and I have to pull her from my cock. 

“Holy shit, you’ve got my cummin’ like a damn teen again.” Y/n grins as she licks her lips free of any leftovers. “Fuck, girl you plan on killin’ me?” I ask her with a shiver running down my spine. “Not until I get to ask you a question Negan.” I look over at her, eyeing her up and down. “Shoot babygirl.” She helps tuck me back into my boxers at least the feeling of the stickiness behind my back and the leather chair. “I heard from some women…” I shoot her a look, “Don’t worry nothing bad, just wanted to get up the courage to ask you if… well… if you would… if we could…” Ever so shy I thought to myself as I eyed the road ahead. “If we could do it?” Y/n asks. 

“Do it honey? Thought we were already doin’ it?” I tease her, she returns with a look that I can’t really place yet. “I mean” She takes a deep breath, “I want you to ruin my ass.” I don’t know what happens but my foot hits the breaks and the truck coems to a fast stop. My knuckles are back to being white. Y/n is staring right at me, “I’m sorry I shjouldn’t have≥…” “If you dare finish that sentence… fuck Y/n you can’t just drop that on me, god my shit are you sure? What did you hear anyways from these women?” I ask her two questions, but she’s already meddling with her thumbs. 

“Alright… I yes I’m sure Negan. And to answer you other question I heard that some guys like it, liked the um… how tight it felt.” Y/n just barely manages to get out. “Well, If you’re absolutely sure than let’s do it.” I say, not commenting on the other womens words.”I do owe you.” I saw with a wink, and the rest of th trip in silent, and almost to slow for my liking. My heart is skipping a beat every second we are in the truck. The walls, and gate of the sacnautary come up quick. Then just like that we are back here, and Y/n is walking fast towards the bedroom. “Hold up…” I say reaching out for her wrist. Theres a sort of panic on her face, “Baby, if you aren’t okay with this just yet that’s okay.” I tell her honestly even if my cock is straining agasint my readjusting jeans. 

She shakes her head and bites her lip. Out what I’m not sure. Panic is settling away from her features, and it’s helpful to my… well everything. “I want to, I’m just a little scared is all.” She finally settles on saying. Her hand is nestled int my plam, and Y/n looks up at me. “I’ll always be gently with you babygirl. Don’t gotta worry about nothin’ anytime soon.” I tell her, before opening up the door that leads to our bedroom. 

The air is cool, but once we both get into the room. I’m pushing her into the wall. Kissing her with a purpose that I haven’t felt in a rather long time. Our mouth meld together, there’s a dance with our tongue and Y/n moans as I grazed a hand down her side, and the other holds her close to me on her back. In no time Y/n is a moan messing, and her head falls back as I leave a few hickies along the way. “Do you want me to…” I ask her as I lean away from her. “No I just want you do it already…” Her voice begging me for something she’s not entirely ready for. I don’t get a chance to say anything as when I look back over at from digging around inthe beside drawer to look for something to help us along the way. Y/n is slipping off her red panties. 

“Holy shit darlin’ so pretty.” the words don’t take long to come out of my mouth as I drop the lube to the bed, and come around to take her in fully. Her breasts fall up and down as she breaths in deeper the closer I get to her. “Alright sweetheart. Let’s get this naughty show on the road.” She lips her licks and takes my outreached hand. “Come lay on the bed.” I say to her and as she sits down she shifts awakrldy. “Undress me.” I command her, trying desperately to get her mind off the matter at hand; not that’s its bad, but she’s off and this will not be good for the matter. Her fingers tumble now as they reach out grabbing the hem of my shirt and pulling it up for me. I do the rest, then nimble fingers are working on the belt, and finally they reach down undoing the zip amd pulling my jeans down my boxers. 

“I can tell you’re getting excited.” I say to her, reacjin across to grab a budding nipple and tugging hard at it. She moans and stops her motions. “Don’t stop!” She moans out with excitment lacing her voice now. “I wasn’t planning on it.” I kick the jeans and boxers off to the side of the room, out of my way. I step into her thighs as she makes space for me. I bring a hand to her mouth, “Suck on my fingers while you fist my cock baby. Will you do that for me?”I ask her, she nods and open her mouth letting me slip my fingers deeply down her throat. Her hand wraps around my cock for a second time today. Getnly, and soft hands jerking me to a mellow speed, as i keep my eye on her the entire time. Her tongue works it’s magic around my fingers. 

My hands doesthe same around my cock, and for once I don’t care, “Fuck… you’ve got me so close.” I moan out trying to inch myself closer to her touch, she does another unexpected thing. She reaches down grabbing my balls and groping them. It sends me over the edge as she fondles them with care. “Oh swee– fuck baby oh god youaresogoodtome.” The words come out like mush and half of them don’t sound like words at all, but the edge hits well, as I explode all over her chest, and legs. 

“Negan…” I hum from my perfect state of mind. “Negan will you just fuck me already!” She begs, “You’re such a cock slut you know that… just beggin’ for me to fuck you, can’t even let me enjoy myself.” She whines as I shift putting my knee on my the bed, and grabbing the back of both of her knees. Pushing them up and towards her frame. I nudge my cock into her clit, “Give me all you got baby, wet my cock like the good little slut you are.” Y/n whines more, as I rub my cock between her folds neglecting the only spot she wants me right now. 

I reach over, grabbing the lube from it’s spot on the bed. “You ready sweet girl, I gotta make sureyou can take my big ole cock, in this tight little hole.” She looks up at me, “I’m ready sir, please of fuck please just do it already.” I pop the cap of the lube open. Dripping down her cunt, and letting it fall to her prescius little hole. Everything about this has me trying my best to not just ram my cock into her. I throw the lube off the side, and press my thumb gently in, she clenches. “Relax doll, I’ve got you.” I mutter before feeling the resistance stop for a moment. “Opening you up for me. Gotta take this big cock.” She sivers but her legs are still pressed into her chest, two fingers later and a lot of scissoring. I feel that Y/n might be able to take me. I slip my cock from between her wet fold, and press the tip of my cock agasint her tight hole. 

“Take a breath with me.” In once second we lock eyes and breath in together. I slip the tip of my cock past her tight holes entrance, and she nearly stops breathing. Her eyes glaze over, “Sweet jesus, fuck… You. Are. Tight.” I have to steady my own breathing, before continuing. It takes a few moments, before the hilt of my cock it pressed agasint the swell of her ass. Skin touching skin. 

“Look at you, holdin’ on to me so tight. Don’t you worry about me leavin’ sweetheart i don’t blame on it anytime soon.” I pull out gently and then thrusting back in, her qhines are high pitched and pornographic. Her arms fall above her head grabbing onto the sheets above. Knuckles gooing white. I press a hand into her hip bone, and my hands falls wide against her skin. My thumb resting just above her clit. I continue my thrust picking up speed with each in and out motion, my thumb lands on her clit at one point, and she screams out silently. “There you go. Eyes rolling to the back of her head, she’s hit a place where she’s just living, and loving her fucking life. My thrust flutter as she grippes me cock tightly, everything about this makes me wanna unload into her tight little hole, and watch it seep out. “Oh fuck negan! I’M GONNA…  FUCK YOU’RE SO BIG, YOU’RE GONNA MAKEME CUM SO HARD, OH SHIT I JUST NEED TO CUM. WILLYOU LET ME CUM?” Y/n shouts, My thursts slow, and so does my heart all while my thumb works her swollen clit before she’s cum around noting and I’m cumming deep inside of her. “OH FUCK Y/N, SO GOOD FOR ME, ALWAYS SO GOOD FOR ME. LETTING ME USE YOU AS MY PERSONAL FUCKING TOY.” I groan out as I release my load. I fall into her, and she holds me tightly against her. “Was it good? Like the women said?”I whisper into her ear. “Hmm.” Is all Y/n says “I loveyou.” Y/n mumlbes as I get off of her. I just smile, and kiss her gently on the forehead before going in search of a towel for our messy bodies.

Completed on: 08/24/23

Posted on: 08/25/23

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[candidapple]

Hsusgsushsus thigh riding Jade 😭

In the same line if thoughts- deciding on ordering a dildo so you can get the d for when he's too busy working but he somehow finds out and ends up ordering one for you and presents it to you himself with that closed eye smile of his. But I love the idea of him wanting to choose what you put inside you if it isn't him.

cw adult content, minors dni 🔞

jade leech x afab!reader

sequel of sorts to this. "but I love the idea of him wanting to choose what you put inside you if it isn't him" took me the fuck out, btw. like i just need to stress the herculean effort it took for me to peel myself off the floor and type out a semi-coherent response to this!! jesus christ!!

but i think he'd end up getting you the twisted wonderland equivalent of a bad dragon dildo, specifically molded to look and feel like a merman's cock. it's an imperfect imitation -- jade can't help but wonder if the sculptor has ever actually been intimate with a merperson or if they based their creative vision entirely off of porn -- but as a substitute, it should do nicely enough.

the length and width are about right, the heft is realistic and the texture ought to feel nice rubbing up against you (and inside of you). color ranked low on his list of specifications (because of course he had one) but he was pleasantly surprised to find that this particular model came in a color that skews uncannily close to his own cock -- shaded deep green at the base and gradually lightening toward a virid pink tip, like the still-furled bud of a young flower. now all that's left is to give it a test drive, hmm? after all, if it doesn't suit your needs, he'd like to send it back within the 30-day return window.

what's that? you thought you'd try it out later, in private? you'd be embarrassed if he stayed and watched? oh, but how will he know if you liked it or not if he's not here to observe your reactions himself? if you were to try it out in private and found it wanting, you might lie and say that you did like it to spare his feelings. but your face when you come -- that doesn't lie.

and, oh -- while it's true that he'll be taking close stock of your reactions, he never said he was only going to watch.

so, like, i hope you did some stretching today because you are going to be pinned down and held open as wide as you can go, the muscles strung through your inner thighs straining and aching as jade rubs the flared head of the toy he bought you down your tingling clit before slipping it shallowly into your clenching pussy, rocking it in and out a couple times as you twitch and shudder in anticipation beneath of him. it's slick with lube, drenched in lube, a pale imitation of the thick rivulets of slime that secrete from his body when he's in the water, and it just makes the absolute wettest, most embarrassing schlucking sound as he fucks it the rest of the way in, textured silicone rubbing up against your walls in a much closer imitation to the way his cock feels inside you.

i also hope you're well rested, because he's not letting you up for a good long while, either -- not until he's taken full stock of your reactions, his dimly glowing eyes glued to your face, an amused smile on his lips as you rock up to meet the punch of the toy. he's holding you open with one hand and fucking the silicone cock in and out of you with the other, and he's not even breathing hard. you'd think he was entirely unaffected if not for the hot press of his own hard cock against the back of your thigh.

he's probably wrung, what, at least three orgasms out of you, your pussy feeling as wet and soft and tender as a bruised peach fallen off the branch, when you start to beg for his cock, his real cock. but he just laughs at you, gently, mockingly, and reminds you that you're the one who wanted a toy. surely it's just as good as the real thing, if you were willing to settle for it? and you bite your lip bloody and thrash like a suffocating fish, your body clamping up so tight around another orgasm it almost pushes the dildo out of your pussy. fuck, fuck you, you hate this fucking thing.

(you do not hate that fucking thing. you keep it locked in a bedside drawer where curious grims can't rifle through and lovingly swaddled in an antibacterial lint-repelling cloth bag for future use.)

(and yes, in case you were wondering: jade does use it on you again.)

[msfbgraves]

I'm rewatching the Karate Kid trilogy, and I'm once again struck by Daniel's sweetness and his capacity for affection and love. Yes, he's sassy, and hot-headed, and mouthy...but his true defining trait is his kind, good heart. I don't understand people who hate him in Cobra Kai, or think HE'S the villain (!!!!) to Johnny Lawrence, the world's most immature man, a terrible parent, and a genuine loser.

I don't know if they hate Daniel for being successful and wealthy but still compassionate and sweet, or what it is. He's a very good dad, husband, and friend who is still imperfect and flawed. He's been right from the start concerning Cobra Kai.

I also hate the whole demonizing of his wonderful relationship with Mr. Miyagi!! It makes me sick.

I'm sorry that the creators of this show and 12 year olds on tik-tok and Johnny fans hate Daniel when he's so loveable. I'd love to have a guy like that in my life, may it be a friend or a husband. He's the best.

He is the best, Nonnie, but some people can't handle that. What they see is someone being demonstrably good, and kind, and what they recognise is: I'm not like that, and Being that kind would be work, I'm not there yet, and then Am I willing to put the work in? And then you can get Nah, I'm good, (Louie), Yes, of course (Bobby) or No, and fuck you for making me aware of that!! I shouldn't have to work on myself!!! I want to be loved as a shit person!!!!

Now with Daniel you also mix in "And I'm gay for him...!" Which can also drive people really mean. And when you're twelve on TikTok... I've woken up 20 years later and thought: OMG, I was an asshole and I had no idea. Not continuously but we all have bad days or don't yet know how to be at the receiving end of shitty behaviour. That's human. It's part of growing up to learn how to imagine being someone else and anticipating what your deeds may mean for someone else. Some people, like Daniel, have enormous hearts and can do this instinctively, almost without effort. It's harder for others. He doesn't seek all that much power, Daniel. Johnny does and that's fine. But what Cobra Kai didn't teach - something that's immensely important - is how to give yourself your own power kick. And that is finding something you enjoy doing and hitting milestones there. Be it winning the All Valley or saving up for a trip or nursing a goldfish or winning a level or building something in Minecraft or flying to Mars or learning how to deep fry your own Haggis or editing a vid. It doesn't matter as long as it doesn't hurt people. Hurting people is the easiest, lowest, most self destructive power kick you can imagine. And if you never learn constructive power kicks, and hurt your own relationships because you're mean to others.... it isn't it easy to resent people that are liked? That people are drawn to? That can be huge dorks and get away with it? It's so unfair!

And if you're twelve you'll learn how to be a person and regulate your own emotions and work for what you want, even when others seem to have it easier. It's a problem though when you haven't learnt this by 52. Because those people look at Miyagi and think: how dare he make me feel bad for being nice, I'll get him for that, especially now Pat isn't alive to oppose me, look at how clever I am, I'll show them!!!!!!!!!!!!

[nonsensemonkey]

yall, this game is SO good. it had me cryin and shit. had me doubting myself. had me fucked up-- i highly recommend it. truly. best game i've played in a while.

major spoilers below

first game i played since the rgg craze that left a deep impact on me. i think i'll be thinking about this one for a while. i might go back and play from the beginning and make tyler and alyson raise hell with all their choices next time hahaha. gahhh so much fun. all the characters felt so believable!!! ALL OF THEM! and even though i didn't like that michael kept coming onto to tyler even tho i politely brushed him off once before, he still felt human to me as well. sometimes dudes just can't fucking take a hint- no matter how nice and cool they are.

what was so crazy to me was how he was talking about how tyler was 'sooo special' and blah blah blah but just 6 months later this mf already taking photos with someone else with a pet talking about 'the new addition to our family'. like bitch if you want me so bad--????? THAT'S WHY I SAID MICHAEL GAVE ME UHAUL VIBES!!!! eehhhhh- like, no, give a mf some time to know you my guy. shit. idk maybe that's just me. (6 months is a while but im just saying)

but anyways, so.

i loved alyson and tyler's relationship so much. tyler is so fucking 😩😩😩😩🥰🥰🥰🫦🫦🫦. he's so hot. the amount of screenshots i have of that man is abysmal. he and alyson does this thing with their mouth but idk, i feel he does it alot more than she does, where he kinda bares his teeth-- sometimes it's a smile but not always. unff. LOVE! i love minor mouth ticks. i have one and i always notice when other people have one- aizawa has one (he chews at his inner lip). nish seems like he would kinda does the same thing tyler does now that i think about it but anyways im getting side tracked~~~

i loved their relationship! the bond thing was sooooo neat- being able to share memories and inner thoughts. HELLA NEAT! i love that so much.

UGH the writing here was so fucking phenomenal.

all of the townspeople: tessa, tom, sam, eddy-- they all had their parts and they were all believable flawed. the only person who i think i'd consider a villian, really would be tom. because fuck that guy- you cheated on your wife, let her raise your kids on her own, watched her fall apart, watch her get stabbed, allowed her to drown to death, allowed two kids to make decisions about something that fucking major when you saw what happened and then you got the audacity to try to blackmail them for your shitty ass campaign???

i rate his bald score a -8 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅👎🏾👎🏾👎🏾👎🏾👎🏾👎🏾 he doesn't deserve that shiner. for shame.

more importantly, the one thing that i wish that we got to see was the perspective of mary-ann from that night. but i guess that's the beauty of the story. no one will ever truly know what was going through her head. everyone has their speculation but no one knows for certain and they sort of have to live with that in order to survive... ughhhh (i am relieved that ty can live his life potentially at peace believing that his mother would see him as her son- her SON- see him for who he is. i know that had to eat away at him while he was at fireweed.)

11/10

honorable mention for my girl denise, she didn't really have shit to do but she was there and i was happy she was. i was happy to see them braids too. like they kinda ate. ngl. i was like okaaaaaay. it makes me really happy. like someone trully put in effort on them! anyway, her and tyler are best buds now. i call it. it is my headcanon. <3

[lastweeksshirttonight]

Hey uh remember when I did retrospectives of Last Week Tonight episodes? Let's bring it back to 140.

Last Lee Tonight (wherein I'm definitely showing United Passions at my next bad movie night) Season One, Episode Six

(original air date: 6/8/2014) Major topics covered: FIFA, Bashar al-Assad's incredible iTunes library

"And speaking of Germans losing things, it was the 70th anniversary of D-Day this week."

It's really nice to throw this show back on again, on a note unrelated to the purpose of this project. I don't talk much about myself but it's been a rough few months with work scheduling, my chronic illnesses, and my mental health. For every "I'm taking a very spontaneous and ill-thought-out trip to New York to see John Oliver WOOO!" moment, there's been at least five "why can't I catch a break"s. When I'm not being beaten down by the collective forces of capitalism, I genuinely haven't been watching much John at all, mainly in an effort to play the large backlog of video games and read the large pile of books lying around my house. I've been moderately successful there (hey y'all should give Cassette Beasts a go, it's delightful), but there's nothing like going back home, so to speak. (I hesitate to call LWT a comfort show for me, given that it's basically A Record of the Decline of the United States in Real Time, but it kinda serves that function to some degree. I am a psychopath.)

Where we last left off in... May, Jesus Christ, I'm so bad at scheduling and writing and content creation - when we last left off in May at Episode 5, things were finally starting to coalesce into the modern LWT experience. We had our first viral segment on Net Neutrality, the first time a segment was uploaded in full to the LWT YouTube, and an opening news roundup that was starting to feel more thoughtful and themed. This episode continues that theme and gives us our second big viral topic.

There is a variant on the desk-slapping here, where John doesn't do it to open the show, but does a milder version of it to get the audience to shut up so he can move on with doing the show. One of my favorite things about him is his constant desire to barrel through clapping or any audience praise of anything he's done at a given moment in time and this opener is a pretty good example of that.

We open on John calling the week disappointing because California Chrome, a horse competing for the Triple Crown, did not win the Triple Crown. You can tell this is an early episode of LWT because there is no prerequisite horse-fucking/bestiality joke, just John angrily saying "fuck that horse" about Tonalist, the horse that defeated California Chrome. All of these horses sound like indie bands from my college years. I feel like Tonalist opened when I saw MGMT live.

We then move into German Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. This gives John an opportunity to plumb one of his favorite comedic depths, making fun of the musicality, smoothness, and romanticism of the German language. A German man used his lifeline to call Chancellor Merkle, who, thankfully, did not answer, as she was busy running Germany.

This transitions into China hiding the events of Tiananmen Square from their populace, including by censoring the Internet.

Attempts by protestors to use different trending words - and to put facts about Tiananmen Square in a sex tape - to get around that were also clamped down on, leading to this absolutely glorious screenshot of John's hypothetical romance novel:

I feel like someone on Reddit probably wrote When Spring Turns to Summer recently.

We also learn that Friends is incredibly popular with Chinese youth. I'm not really shocked by this, Friends has a weird international reach. I know multiple Korean idols who learned English partially through watching Friends. The fact that there's a Chinese replica of Central Perk? That's wild. The show edits a Friends clip to include historical facts about the massacre, and then we move to our central story.

I'm a big fan of whenever John talks about FIFA and football in general. Recently in one of her "posts relevant to my interests", @tellthemeerkatsitsfine noted that there's a strain with John and his contemporaries with them being nerds who really wanted to be jocks, and I think that dichotomy really helps John come off credibly when he talks about the deep-rooted corruption in this particular organization. The sport is something that is literally rooted into him, hardwired as something he deeply cares about... but there's the rest of it to consider.

In my opinion, someone who deeply loves something can really be the best at describing everything wrong with it. You don't really find the grime if you're only on the surface of something. I know that critical observation of a fandom while in said fandom is in short supply these days, but I wish it was more common.

Anyways. I think FIFA's corruption and grotesqueries are pretty known in 2023, but at the time, knowledge of their fuckery wasn't as widespread. Socially, we've definitely spoken a lot more about the cost-benefit analysis of the Olympics and taxpayer-funded stadiums, which is comparative to John's opening about the issues with FIFA and claims that World Cups bring money to the areas hosting them. (Not true!) Other items I'd completely forgotten about, like FIFA Court and their boardroom looking like something out of Dr. Strangelove.

The "And Now This" is "Chris Matthews Reminds Everyone Who He Used to Work For". (Answer: Tip O'Neill.) My abiding memory of Chris Matthews is Zell Miller accusing him of beating a woman and challenging him to a duel at the 2004 Republican National Convention.

SNL had a pretty great sketch of this where Will Forte played Miller that I can't find right now. PISTOLS AT DAAAAAAAAWN MATTHEWS!!!!

The final segment is on Bashar al-Assad's campaign of terror against Syria, rigged electioneering, and chemical warfare. More importantly, al-Assad's life history and iTunes library are discussed.

This was also the subject of the classic Bugle episode 187, which has a chance to go far more in depth about his favorite music, like "Sexy and I Know It". (Andy Zaltzman describing Lil Wayne and Busta Rhymes as a doubles tennis group is one of my favorite Bugle moments of all time incidentally.)

Right Said Fred coming out to perform an anti-Assad version of "I'm Too Sexy" gives us the first time John has had a celebrity come out basically to troll one single person, and thus almost the cornerstones of modern LWT have been established. Eagerly awaiting the first bestiality joke. Also, really love the changed lyrics, they put a hell of a lot of effort into this one. I wanna see Right Said Fred live now.

Random notes:

Lee will continue sexualizing one (1) older man damn it: light blue and dark blue checked shirt, black tie, and black jacket? I know I've said red is John's color but light blue is a very close second, 10/10

I feel like I made up for not doing these for two months by writing about five year's worth of unnecessary analysis of this damn episode. Hopefully you enjoyed it!

It was amazing seeing an ESPN ad for something not handegg-related. -groan-

LWT YouTube is still a bit confused, as we did get the two major topics as their own videos... and then 1 minute of the FIFA section as its own minisode. I really would love to know the logic behind why there specific jokes were isolated like this in the beginning of the show's airing.

My sausage, if anyone cares, is the Korean idol industry. It's an absolute cataclysmic nightmare and yet there's a lot there personally that changed me and a lot that I love out of it. It's complicated. Fuck SM Entertainment.

A reminder that John's LMFAO fandom has endured for a decade longer than the band itself lasted:

[dogfags]

i think my life would be better if I didn't mind they/them being used on me but it quite honestly feels like an insult sometimes when people assume those are my pronouns or they think I look weird and androgynous so they default to those. I know I am weird and androgynous but it's just annoying to have to be like no I'm just.. a man. when I have put so much effort into passing and going stealth. and for sure even tho I'm just a man I have some weird nonbinary feelings as well. bc I'm trans and being "binary trans" doesn't mean u don't have a complicated relationship with gender or experience a bit of gender queerness. I mean I identified and lived as a lesbian for several years of my life so ofc a part of that is ingrained in me. idk, I kind of wish more people would look at gender as something you do rather than something you innately are. I don't think I innately am anything. I think I used to live as a girl and now I live as a man. maybe that makes me nonbinary or maybe that just makes me a normal person. idk. a lot of the trans narratives that have been popularized by the media are just so unrelatable to me I almost don't consider myself the same thing as them. I don't think I transitioned bc I was a boy born into a girl's body I think I transitioned bc I'd just rather live as a man and so I am. of course I also have debilitating dysphoria but yk. I don't think I was "born this way" and I didn't show any signs as a child or even give my gender a second thought until I was older. I got a taste of female puberty and was like nah I'd rather opt out of this whole woman thing. so I did. and now I'm a man. it's that simple to me idk.

but yeah if I liked he/they I think it would make my life better bc then I wouldn't be like. dysphoric and offended when ppl would default to they for me simply bc I have green hair. I don't even dress femininely almost ever it's just the hair I think lmao. or bc my name is gender neutral. I guess I am androgynous in the face also. I do not have a chiseled jawline although I do have a mustache and it is pretty dark now. idkkkkk man

I've lived so many lives already in just this one that idk how to classify myself anymore. I've been every letter of the LGBT and dated/fucked someone of every gender and sexuality lmao. but I still think it's kinda annoying when ppl deny my masculinity or maleness upon seeing me and default to they/them when I Try So Hard to pass. obviously it's not their fault, they've been told it's rude to assume anyone's pronouns and I am fully self aware of the way I look and come off. I almost feel like I can't even correct people when they call me they bc I know they're just trying to be.. nice or something. like how would I even go about correcting that, "thanks for the consideration but I am in fact just a man" ???

I think in terms of gender identity I can get behind the vibes of he/they being used for me in theory, but in practice it makes me feel like a freak. it's like a glaring neon sign that's like, you look WEIRD and idk what you are bc you're WEIRD. I know this shit wouldn't happen if I was cis and presented exactly the same as I do now. I feel extremely vulnerable and almost outed when people call me they. like it tells everyone in the room that I'm Different. and despite the fact I dye my hair crazy colors and have 7 facial piercings and stretched ears I actually do not want to stick out. I just love the alternative look. but I don't want attention drawn to me. I don't want people to look at or talk to me. it's a struggle I've had my entire life. id much rather blend in than stand out but literally everybody knows who I am and my name bc I just have an appearance that is so jarring. ugh.

I even had my instructor for some reason "correct" himself on my pronouns, he literally got it right the first time then went "er, they-" like ??? come on man. when have I ever told anyone I want to go by they here??? is the mustache not enough?? do I have to grow out my patchy ass stubble as well??? for a split second sometimes I think about going by he/they and then I am called they in real life and cringe so hard. rahhh.

[marengogo]

I really don't understand why you ship or like a ship that is a one-way relationship. What Jungkook did for Jimin😭? nothing. Jimin often told him " I love you " maybe 3 times? 2 times for sure. And what did Jk say? Nothing 🤣 sometimes, Jimin tried to hug him or touch him, and Jk was 😐

- Jimin said that Jk visited his room. JK: your room is the closest

-Jimin as the main model of Jk's video. Jk: he is always there when I have to film 😒

This man really can't say anything nice about Jimin.

Why do you think there are a lot of jikook and jimin antis with many contents that they use as evidence of the fact that Jk doesn't like Jimin?

Ask JK

Welcome to the Sonyeondan Colosseum Anon!In case you are not aware of the rules in this particular ground, here is a link → SONYEONDAN COLOSSEUM.

Unfortunately Anon, I’ll have to begin with putting my foot down and letting you know right away that I shall not accept any form of Masochism-shaming. What gives you the right to decide the type of relationship that floats my boat? Or ship since we are on topic. Yes, I’m a masochist. What business is it of yours? Why are you trying to call me out?!

... Sorry. I apologise, I didn’t mean to snap at you Anon. *breathes*... I’ll calm down and take a step back, I promise. What I guess I should try and explain is that people like myself and Jimin like it this way. We like it when all our efforts are being walked over, we prefer it when people take our hearts and break it into 1300 pieces, and we absolutely adore it when we are treated like shit, so I’d be grateful if you just let us be, because I don’t go around judging you though admittedly I don’t know you so it would be hard to … but yeah. 

In fact, I’ll let you in on a detail which a lot of people on places like the bird app don’t actually know, but since we are all adults here, and have above par comprehension skills, added to the fact that we are also being honest and objective, I think it only right to provide you with some transparency; Jungkook has … he … on multiple occasions, he has tried to make his ship with Jimin a mutual relationship one. There! I said it! Happy now? …

Jungkook forgets at times, and i can’t blame him you know, it’s been 10 years after all but and I am just being transparent with you here, he’s been caught doing stuff like carrying jimin’s belonging instead of Jimin, or purposely allowing Jimin to win at plenty a game or situation and he seems to know every little Jimin quirk and preference.

Jungkook also keeps doing that incredibly annoying thing where he massages Jimin to provide him with comfort and at a point he even went completely out of character and gave Jimin a birthday present, back in 2016, when he gave nobody one!  And then there are random birthday messages, or stuff like him thinking that the two of them are in sync or something … like, what part of a one-way relationship doesn’t he get?

Even when last year he answered Jimin’s call, during his birthday, remember that? And actually showed up. Why the fuck didn’t he just ignore that call or like make up some kind of excuse or something. Like … he keeps failing at this one-way thingy, and I swear to you, he has no reason to, he should be a professional at ignoring Jimin by now, so I really don’t understand … if you asked me, it is almost as if Jungkook is a bit of a masochist himself.

Anyways, I think I took too much of your time already. Please be mindful of people’s taste and preferences, you don’t want people to snap at you and call you insensitive, rude or godforbid, stupid even, okay? So don’t forget; Masochism is real 👏🏾 it is harmless 👏🏾 and it is valid 👏🏾.

Always fairly and squarely yours,

Marengo.

[foolforjustice]

Personal stuff below

One thing about me is I have extended family

And this extended family doesn't know about the abuse

And they saw me as a kid sometimes but then stopped

So while we are family we also like weren't exactly close

But then the family member connecting us died (in a really really bad way) and we all loved this family member very much

So anyway then we got closer and they are quite nice actually and we also low key trauma bonded a bit because of the aforementioned death and some other stuff that I can't say

But alas, I am used to any interactions with family being Fraught With Danger, and having to walk on eggshells while simultaneously performing a dance to ensure that I am still loved/not abused

So anyway. After we reconnected I started sending them Christmas gifts because they would send me a card.

Initially it was impersonal stuff like candles but then they started being Nice to me so idk I put real thought into it and got them stuff they'd like

In previous years I have always ordered these to my home or bought them in a shop, wrapped them myself, then sent it to them

Or if I visited them for christmas (which i did a couple years), I brought it with me (wrapped) and physically gave it to them

This year a lot of stuff happened and I procrastinated getting gifts for ANYONE until the very last minute (today)

(with the exception of gifts for my partner bc that is Different and i spoil them ok)

So anyway I sent it straight to them from Amazon. I did add a gift bag and a personalized card

(I know amazon sucks and I try not to support them but I am failing at life at the moment so I gave in because it was easy and because other retailers couldn't get the same gift there on time for Christmas unless I spent $47 on priority shipping I am not exaggerating)

But I sent it from Amazon instead of wrapping it myself

So anyway now I am SPIRALING for multiple reasons

1- the gifts will arrive separately and the personalized messages are addressed to separate people. Which means if I did not inform them, there may be a multi day period where one person thought I only got a gift for the other one this year, bc I usually send a shared gift for both of them but this year I sent a fucking legacy journal and one of them has a paralyzed hand & can't write so I didn't wanna be a dick & give a shared gift that only one can use so I got that person their own thing even though the other person will almost definitely transcribe for them. I solved this issue by emailing in advance to let them know the gifts will arrive separately

2- the gifts are not wrapped by me and do not contain a handwritten card. Clearly this means they will think I do not care and put in minimum effort and have just been pretending all this time

Anyway my partner said I'm being ridiculous and I probably am but like. What if the specific way that two very carefully chosen gifts are *wrapped and mailed* is enough to make my family members hate me

lol

[edelgarfield]

I snapped at my best friend for being a total flake, repeatedly, when it was something I'd talked to him about previously, back in September (the 24th to be exact) and he ghosted me until October 5th at which point I asked him why he was ignoring me. and he said because he was sooooo mad that he couldn't talk to me without losing his temper because I didn't care about how stressed he was. I sent a long message telling him he was missing the point, that his feelings didn't give him an excuse to treat me poorly.

at which point he didn't respond until the 16th, finally apologizing and saying he was stressed and didn't know how to handle it and blah blah blah.

I said I was extremely hurt by the fact he ghosted me for 3 weeks because I said something he didn't like WHEN MY DAD IS DYING, and that I couldn't trust him, that I felt like he views me as someone who lives in his phone that he can turn off whenever it's convenient, and that is he wants to repair our friendship he needs to actually work on himself and make changes. and I said he could take time to respond but to just let me know. and he did, and said he needed time to formulate a response. which is fine, I get it.

we hung out briefly on the 23rd bc it was a mutual friends birthday (which was absolutely miserable for me. everyone else had fun.) and he messaged me on the 25th saying it was nice hanging out, he was sorry for being quiet, but he was super stressed out and it's hard to talk to anyone right now.

and it's just. ugh. I'm trying to be gracious and understanding (and i'm not an idiot, of course I'm suspicious that i'm being manipulated, but I bring that up and he seems to genuinely feel bad) but at this point I just don't care anymore. I don't care how hard things are for him, he hurt me far worse than I thought possible and he owes it to me to try and make it right. it's not fair to just expect me to wait until it's convenient for him to try and fix what he broke.

like I'm sorry you're so stressed and overwhelmed? I'm also stressed and overwhelmed because someone I loved and trusted completely abandoned me because I got fed up with being treated poorly. and he gets to push it out of his mind and deal with it another day but I don't have that fucking option!! I have to wake up every day and remember how much it hurts and try to pull myself together enough to just function and start moving on.

I just feel like such an idiot. I keep communicating with him and telling him exactly what I need and making it as easy as possible for him to give me what I need out of a friendship and he just can't or won't. I keep hoping that if I say things the right way or make it clear enough that he'll get it and put in the effort, but he never does.

[countlessrealities]

10. Would you be friends with your muse if they were real? 5. Least favourite thing about roleplaying? 20. How do you overcome writer’s block?

Munday Meme || Accepting !

5. Least favourite thing about roleplaying? If we're talking about RPing in general, I guess that the thing I hate the most is the fact that it's hard to find RP partners who are willing to put in as much effort as you do in the interactions. I've found myself being the one who has to carry the plot forward, to bring up ideas, to reach out, etc. while the other person just sat there and watch me do it. I find that it's simply insane to see how many people forget that RPing is supposed to be a shared experience and that your writing partner isn't your fanfiction vending machine or whatever. You can see this extremely well on Tumblr because there are people who never send you stuff when you repost memes (and I'm not saying interaction memes, I'm talking about stuff like this one for the mun) and the likes, even if you have always tried to be a good mutual and sent them stuff whenever you had the chance. They act like all this is owed to them and never think that, maybe, it would be nice to return the interest, from time to time. This level of selfishness really makes me want to jump in their IMs and tell them that they are a selfish asshole. Because sending a meme? It literally takes 10 seconds. If we're talking about RPing on Tumblr specifically...there's a long list that things I hate or can't stand. I guess that, if I had to choose, it would be the fucking purity police attitude that has infected this hellsite, including the rpc. It irks me beyond measure to see people ostracized just because they had certain ideas about a character's portrayal or because they enjoy exploring through writing themes that are considered "problematic" because they are too dark or whatnot. And don't get me started on anon hate.

10. Would you be friends with your muse if they were real? I like to think that I could get along with some of them? Mabel and Morty for sure, and I think I could make friends with Summer and Adrien too. Maybe with some work Stan, especially because I'd let myself be roped into his cons, and Millie. Jinx would be very hit or miss. Everyone else it's a lot trickier. As much as I wish I could be their friends, I think that the rest of my muses wouldn't give enough of a damn about me, or maybe find me annoying or boring xD

20. How do you overcome writer’s block? Bold of you to assume that I can overcome it x'D Kidding aside, it depends. My ability to write is very intimately tied to my moods and levels of mental energy. There are times where I just need to switch to writing something else for a while and the inspiration comes back on its own easily enough. Other times I have to sit and make myself write. The first few paragraphs come out shitty and I get frustrated real easily, but after a while I manage to get back in the flow and that's how I get over it. It can take a lot of effort, but at the end of the day is usually worth it. And then there are the times when all I can do is waiting it out. They are the worst, and the most exasperating, but nothing can be done about it. It usually means that my mental health is doing real bad (whether I feel it or not), and it's the sign that I need a break from social medias / writing in general.