#i cannot explain the things this song has got and continues to get me through this was. such a no brainer

[vcrnons]

remember, we are together always. i won't let go of your hand ( biggest thanks to, and for my angel, @ikigaisvt <3 )

carat revival '24 PART 2: BLAST TO THE PAST ↳ create content that takes us back to your favourite era, OR your favourite lyrics from seventeen songs that have stuck with you 🎵

[amongemeraldclouds]

Fresh Out The Slammer

A questionable kidnapping leads to a revenge plan backfiring (fluff).

Lorenzo Berkshire x f!Reader

Warning: fluff, one use of y/n, cursing, mildly violent thoughts. Has one magical rule that’s not canon, using my creative license here to drive the plot. Based on the Taylor Swift song with the same title.

✿ Masterlist | 860 words

“I need to see my Cormyyy!” You whined, trying to twist away from Enzo’s grip on your shoulders as he led you down the hall.

Mattheo saw you struggling against Enzo and walked towards the two of you with a smirk. “We’ve been through a lot of shenanigans over the years, but I never imagined kidnapping would be one of them,” he whispered to Enzo as he and Blaise joined you.

“Stop sounding so pleased,” Blaise chided Mattheo.

“Cormac, that wanker had the gall to give y/n Amortentia the day after she publicly broke up with him. I’ve got to help her,” Enzo whispered back, explaining.

“Enzie’s got a little crush,” Mattheo teased, poking him on his side.

“Piss off if you’re not going to help,” Enzo huffed.

“What are you whispering about? Take me to my Cormyy!” You whined.

“Nothing, your bloody Cormy is right this way,” Enzo replied quickly. He grit his teeth as he fantasized a literally bloody Cormac after he beat him up with his fists. 

Never mind the amusement and hope he felt when he witnessed you finally come to your senses and realize what a tosser Cormac was. All that was crushed when the potion took over your mind tonight and you forgot you asked Enzo to meet up because you needed to tell him something. 

“Theo would know what to do,” Mattheo suggested.

“I just saw him at the common room,” Blaise added and the four of you headed there.

Theo looked up from his book when you approached. Noticing the struggling girl, he lifted his eyebrow, “we’re kidnapping now?”

“Who’s being kidnapped? I’m here to see my darling, Cormyy!” You squealed, clasping your hands together, giggling at the thought of how wonderful he was. Theo’s eyes widened, he was with Enzo when they watched you dump him.

“We need your help,” Enzo declared.

“Clearly,” Theo said, thinking through his knowledge of Amortentia. You weren’t exactly friends with the infamous Slytherin boys, but Enzo had drooled over you, his partner in Divination class, long enough for them to know about you.

“Do you know how we can undo the potion’s effects?” Enzo asked.

“Well it would take too long to brew an antidote and we don’t know if we can get all the ingredients,” he replied.

Theo’s knee bounced as he willed himself to remember something useful. “Some texts say that because Amortentia cannot actually produce real love, a kiss from someone who loves her might break the spell.” At least that’s what Theo probably read, the gears in his mind continued spinning as Enzo approached you.

Everyone looked at Enzo expectantly and his cheeks blushed. “Come on, you did not go through all this trouble just because she’s your Divination partner,” Mattheo encouraged.

“Okay,” Enzo approached you and you scrunched up your eyebrows in confusion. “I’ll take you to Cormac after this. I just have to save you first. Also because I want to,” he admitted, “but if you hate it then punch me or hex me when you’re better.” Before his words could sink in, his lips were on you.

“Wait!” Theo called out, “I remembered it wrong. It has to be someone she loves! Not the other way around.” Enzo quickly pulled away, but it was too late. He did not need to get rejected indirectly by a potion. Never mind you hexing him, he might as well hex himself in shame.

That was until you blinked. You placed your hand on your head as the world spun for a second and Enzo quickly caught you. “Bloody potion,” you spat, wrinkling your nose in disgust as you recalled your potion-induced obsession.

Blaise grabbed Mattheo and Theo’s arm, leading them to the dorms. “Come on, seems there are things they need to discuss.” 

“Then we beat up Cormac,” Mattheo called back.

“Count me in!” You exclaimed as you stood upright.

“She’s a keeper!” Mattheo mock whispered to Enzo, pointing at you.

Enzo chuckled, “already looking for trouble?”

“Oh my punches won’t just be for the potion. When I’m done with Cormy,” you shuddered at the nickname, “he’d regret even breathing in my direction.”

“Before that, can we talk about what happened?” Enzo asked. “You said you wanted to tell me something tonight?”

You blushed, your anger giving way to butterflies in your stomach. “Well, the potion probably said it better than I could have,” you recalled Theo’s words just as the potion released you from its grip. “I really like you, Enzo. I broke up with Cormac when I realized that. He may have actually helped me with his foolishness. Maybe I should thank him,” you considered.

“No,” you decided after a moment, “I still want to beat him up.” Enzo chuckled in response.

“Don’t worry, we’ll deal with him. First,” he said moving closer to you, “I really like you too. We make such a great team in class, I’d love to see what else we’d be good at as partners. For instance, are you certain the potion completely lost its effect? Maybe we should break the spell again a few more times to be sure.”

Your eyes glinted with mischief and desire. “Oh yes, we need to be thorough,” you agreed as his lips crashed into yours.

✿ Masterlist

A/N: I haven't written for Enzo in a while, glad I could add him to my series of TTPD one shots!

[bucky-barnes-lover]

Kinktober day 15: Kinks listed below

Fic: Sebastian Stan

Daddy turned Father:

Dad to be!Sebastian Stan x Wife!reader

Warnings: Slight pregnancy kink, Cursing, SMUT 18+, Pregnancy talk, Going to the Doctor's (Does that even count?)

W.C: 1305

I figure this didn't turn out great but I've had a busy week and I'm tired so, if u like it please re blog. Thanks

I'm sick. Really sick. Every Morning for the past 2 weeks I've been waking up with a horrible stomach ache and the need to vomit. I haven't told Sebastian though since he's been away filming for the past couple weeks. But, doing the logical thing I went to the doctor.

"So y/n, I think we'll do an ultrosound just to make sure you don't have a stomach bug or something anymore serious. You did however pass all the blood, heart and senses tests with flying colours so it cannot be anything got to do with your brain." Said the doctor.

"Thank goodness! I love my brain." I replied sarcastically.

"I'm sure most of us do y/n"

Dr. Mayladd led me over to the ultrasound room as she handed me a blue papery hospital gown. Addressing me to remove my shirt and put the gown on instead.

"Gosh that's scratchy" I complained making my way over to the examination chair, leaning back as far as the chair would go.

"You'll only have to wear it for a couple minutes, I'm sure you can handle that"

"Of course doctor" I moaned playfully, causing a small laugh to escape the Dr's perfect red lips.

"I'm going to spread some jelly on your stomach okay, it'll be a little bit cold but it won't be for long okay"

"Sure" I answered, boredom creeping into my voice.

"Oh y/n. You sound like an annoyed teenager, brighten up a bit. You could either get home to your husband knowing you have bowel cancer or are expecting a baby." She told me, sounding a little bit too enthusiastic talking about cancer.

"Yeah, thanks but I'd rather not have either"

"You don't want children?" The Dr asked me, sounding a little less excited.

I let out a loud sigh before explaining to the Dr exactly what I was thinking.

"Yes, I do. I do want children. It's just that Sebastian has been away filming for a good while and we never really discussed when we would want to start a family. So I'm not sure if this is the right time."

Dr. Mayland rubbed some cold blue jelly over my stomach, through the hole that was cut in a circle right over the tummy. Then she connected a couple wires to an ultrasound remote, which kind of took the shape of a jade roller, just thicker and electronic. She started rolling the remote across my stomach spreading the jelly with it.

Eyes focused on the computer machine as the remote scanned my skin. Suddenly a small shape, about the size of a blueberry came into view.

It was undeniably a baby.

"Well, you are pregnant and it looks as if you're about 7 weeks along. Would you like me to print off the photos?"

Said Dr. Mayladd as she continued scanning over my stomach.

"Yes please." I responded, overwhelmed at the fact that I am carrying a child.

"OK. Give me a second to do that."

The Dr. responded, a few seconds later I heard a faint buzzing sound and then she turned around to face me. A roll of what looked like Polaroids in her hand. Putting them in a small box, along with a card before she handed it to me. With a note of congratulations, I left the Dr's office.

The drive home was stressful. The radio was playing 'Starlight' by Taylor Swift. One of my favorite songs, but I couldn't pay attention to it. Crazy thoughts running through my brain. What if Seb doesn't want kids right now, What if the pregnancy goes wrong. What if, what if, was all I could think of right now.

As I arrived home, I almost drove away, seeing my husband's car in the driveway. Shit. How do I tell him?

Leaving all my thoughts in the backseat of the car, I unlocked the front door. Immediately greeted by soft kisses escalating down my neck.

"Hi baby." "How are you?" I asked him as he pecked my lips.

"I'm good. You?" He questioned, pointing towards the doctor's receipt in my hand.

"Oh, Well." I hesitated, struggling to find the words to say to him. Not knowing if I should even tell him right now.

"Well, I'm pregnant."

Sebastian stared at me for a couple seconds, clearly starstruck by the news that he's going to be a father.

"Y/n. Are you serious?"

"Yes. That's why I went to the doctor today. I've been sick almost every morning since you were away, which is ironic now that I think about it. Considering we had a pretty fun night a couple days before you went off for shooting."

"But yeah, I'm 7 weeks along." I uttered anxiously.

"Shit y/n. We're gonna be parents."

Sebastian yelled, happiness clear in his tone and visible in his full smile.

"That is if you want to keep it." He added on, seeing my scared expression.

"Yes, baby, I want to keep it, I'm just scared. We haven't really discussed this much, since you've been away a lot." I expressed.

"Doll, there is nobody else I would rather have children with than you. I love you with all my heart, please acknowledge that." He reasoned.

"Now. We have to celebrate" Sebastian continued.

Picking me up and carrying me up the stairs to our shared bedroom.

Running to the bed, I undress into my bra and panties, my husband doing the same.

"Babydoll, I'm gonna fuck you so good you'll have another baby in you soon enough" He chuckled as he unclipped my bra. Grabbing my breasts in his hands, kneading them as he trailed kisses up and down my neck.

Sweet moans escaped my lips all the while Sebastian sucked on the sensitive skin along my neck. I reached down to his groin and palmed him through his boxers, earning a desperate moan from him. Dropping to his knees, towering over me he grabbed my underwear, tugging as I lifted up my hips letting them slide down. Feeling Sebastian's rough fingers slide along my slit, into my wet hole.

"Damn Mama. You're so wet already. Wonder how well you could take my cock" He muttered, adding a second finger into my entrance. Pumping in and out. My moans grew more desperate as he pumped faster inside of me, rubbing my clit with his thumb. I knew he could feel I was close, because he stopped just as I was on the verge of cumming.

"Ahh. Seb, what was that for" I moaned out, annoyed at his act.

"Not so fast mama. Don't you think I would let you cum that easily without you cumming all over my cock." He growled.

Removing his boxers, he lined himself up with my entrance before thrusting his hips slowly. I groaned, feeling myself stretch as he worked his thick cock through me.

"Oh Seb" I moaned as he thrusted into me harder and harder. Hitting the right spot each and every time.

"Fuck Mama, you're so tight for me." He moaned. Bucking his hips against my own as his thrusts became much, much harder. Digging even deeper into me. Causing me to scream out his name. "Fuck Sebastian!!" I screamed, the pleasure almost too much. I felt Sebastian's fingers trace over my sensitive clit. Rubbing it in a soft circular motion.

My pussy clenched around his cock. So tight and so close. Sebastian's finger grazed my clit one more time, sending me over the edge. A couple moments later, after one last deep thrust, Sebastian came inside me.

"Fuck babydoll. You feel so good" He moaned, still working his cock inside me. I only moaned in response. The pleasure was overwhelming.

If this was what pregnancy would be like, I don't know why I'd be so scared, becoming a mum.

[dearweirdme]

Hi Rain, Merry Christmas in arears and happy new year in advance. I have read through a good amount of your blog and i gotta say you are one of the most sensible taekookers i’ve come across. I have read ur takes on taekook and jikook and i can say i see where you and other taekookers are coming from when u say you think taekook are a couple even though i don’t agree because over the years, there’s been alot of stuff that have directly or indirectly debunked taekook as a romantic pair (for me atleast)

I do have a question for you and ur followers. What will be your reaction if u come to find out one day that taekook have always been just friends and nothing more? How would u view Tae as a person if we all come to find out that he was infact dating Jennie? We had the whole accidental instagram follow back in 2021, the leaked pics in 2022 and the Paris walk in 2023. After Tae “accidentally” followed Jennie in 2021, he went on weverse and said instagram is a scary app. This entire solo era, Tae has honestly done and or said things which could imply that he is in a romantic relationship with Jungkook. We had him namedropping Jungkook on almost all his lives, talking about going to eat at Jk’s place, talking about songs Jk recommends to him and sings to him, him posting that ss of himself and Jk shirtless, posting that pic of himself and Bam in Jk’s house and we all know that he most definitely knows about what fans think of him and Jk. He has actually replied to some taekookers on weverse before. Some jikookers think Tae did some of those things to distract from his relationship with Jennie and others think he does those things so he doesn’t lose his fans who are mostly taekookers. Now no one but Tae knows why he does all these ofcourse and you taekookers would not find anything wrong with the things he does because you honestly believe he and Jungkook are in a relationship and most taekookers hate Jimin because they think Jimin has been a very bad friend to tae all these years by doing Fanservice with Jungkook even though he knows it hurts Jk. You also believe that Tae gets hurt sometimes when he watches Jikook interact. So my question to you is, what kind of a person would u think Tae is if it turns out that he was never in a romantic relationship with Jungkook but did and said all these things anyway even though he knew exactly what it looked like? I know that right now u cannot even imagine it because u really believe that taekook is real, but you used to be a Larrie and u mentioned that at some point alot of things just didn’t make sense anymore so u stopped. You have already been through that route where u shipped two pple and later realized that maybe you were wrong all along and read things wrong. What if like Larry you are also reading alot of things wrong with taekook? If it turns out that you are once again wrong, would u respect Tae as a person? Would u honestly hold him accountable for misleading millions of fans with his words and actions or would u find ways to continue making excuses for him? I know that right now you cannot even imagine it but what if Jimin and Jungkook have been the real couple all along? Would u think Tae was a good friend to Jimin all these years? All you tkkrs who hate Jimin because u think he is a bad friend and a homewrecker, if we one day find out that jikook is real, would u redirect ur hate to Tae? Would u blame tae for all the things you blamed Jimin for all these years? What about Jennie? If we someday get concrete proof that tae was dating Jennie, how would u feel about the fact that he sat there and did nothing but fuel his taekook shippers while Jennie got hate every single day because of him? How would u look at him after he sat there and allowed his entire fandom to call that girl names and accuse her of using him for clout even though he was really dating her? Would u think Taehyung is a good person if all these turn out to be true? How would u explain the way he behaved sometimes when jikook interacted? How would u explain him saying all those things about Jungkook?I honestly want you to think about all of these and tell me honestly what you would think of Taehyung.

I know that you and other tkkrs love Tae and you believe that he and Jk are a couple but lets be objective here. Tae started mentioning and focusing on talking about Jungkook alot immediately after those photos with Jennie hit the timeline. Now I’m not saying i know his intentions but let’s look at a few things. After May of 2022, we had Tae mentioning Jk on almost all of his lives and sometimes just mentioning him with no context. In June 2022, he did a live saying he would get his tattoo with Jungkook, and then he proceeded to upload a fake tattoo minutes after Jungkook posted his real tattoo. In November he did a live and said he was going to game with Jungkook. At the airport, he said he was supposed to travel with Jungkook, in January he went live and said Jungkook was there at his place gaming with him and his friends, in February he asked Jk to do an instagram live together, mentioned on live that he was going to do a karaoke Live with Jungkook, also mentioned that he was making plans to enlist with Jungkook, does many lives and mentions Jungkook’s names so many times, talks about a song Jk recommended to him (with sus lyrics), talks about Jk singing to him, talks about going to eat at Jungkook’s place, during his entire promotion, he talks about recording at Jungkook’s place, and didn’t give much context until Jk came and explained and gave better context. So Tae is close to his wooga squad too and other members of bts, but he never felt the need to talk about them as much as he spoke about Jk. So if if turns out that Tae was dating Jennie all along, how would you explain these actions of his?

This is just a hypothetical situation ofcourse but i would really love to hear how u would react and and how you will view tae as a person if it turns out that he was never in a relationship with Jk, actually dated Jennie and Jimin has been the one in a relationship with Jk all along. The truth is, everyone is speculating here and no matter how convinced you think u are of ur ship, there is always a possibility that there are certain parts of the puzzle that u missed so u couldn’t come out with the full picture. Think about this and let me know what you and your anons think. Who knows? Maybe in a not so distant future, so many people will be coming back to this ask when think take a completely different turn from what y’all are expecting.

Hi anon!

Merry Christmas (a bit belated) and a Happy New years in advance to you too!

Alright.. let's get the obvious out of the way: You are a Jkkr and you don't much like Tae. You are a very polite Jkkr, and you have read my blog so thanks for that, now let me talk about the way I love Tae.

Tae is my bias. I love al members very much, all of them have a special place in my heart, but Tae is the one who constantly touches me, who has made me realize things about myself, who makes me stronger (even at 41 years old). I feel close to him, because I feel he and I are the same in some ways.. in ways that matter to me. I have always struggled with feeling different. People just don't easily get me, while I always get other people. I have a difficulty making people understand the way my mind works. And I used to think that was my fault, that I was doing something wrong. I've been on a road to acceptance of my weirdness for a long time, and.. even before I became an Army, I was already doing pretty well. I had accepted my weirdness. What Tae brought me was a freedom to also enjoy my weirdness. When I look at him, I see someone who has had the same issues like me, but who is so wonderfull.. I started thinking... who even cares if someone is slightly different from the rest. It's uniqueness. And uniqueness means that some people might not understand you, but others might find you amazing. So that's what Tae means to me. I love how he's soft and cuddly and caring, but he's also sharp as a knife. Tae cares, he cares so much and everyone around him knows it... so why don't you anon?

There's little certainties in shipping. I know I might me wrong about Tae and Jk, but there's other certainties that I do have. I am absolutely certain that Tae and Jk are extremely close, that they love each other even if it's only platonically. I am also very certain that Jm and Tae love each other to pieces. I think fandom has been a thorn in their eyes at times because of the Tkkrs hate Jm and Jkkrs hate Tae issues. I do not think they like serious shipping very much because of it. SO when you aks me, what would I think about Tae if him and Jk are not dating.. I would still think of him the same. My reasons for loving Tae have nothing to do with Tae and Jk. That is just something I noticed, but I do not need Jm to be the bad guy in this story and that is something you have to work on anon.. because you cannot think of Tae kindly wjile also reconciling that with your ship... of which you also cannot be sure. You dislike Tae in favor of a ship that probably isn't real.

If Tae and Jk aren't together I would still think he talked about him that much because they spent so much time together. Tae doesn't talk about Wooga much because when he does a live he is talking to Army. Army knows Jk. Army asks about Jk. When Tae goes live he is constantly reminded of Jk. He talks about him more than other members because they spend more time together.

If Tae and Jennie were real (🥴) I'd think he just went through a toxic relationship that finally ended and was very happy afterwards. It's a weird take to have that he used Jk to hide his relationship with Jennie. Like.. point to the gay to hide a straight one? Maybe they shouldn't have called a pap when they were in Paris then?

I cannot imagine Jkk being real. I mean, to me those two are so much bro-friends I just cannot. There's too much standing in the way for me to think of that as a possibility. Even my hypothetical thoughts end up in me going "nope".

The way Tae behaved at times when Jk and Jm were Jkking is something I would have difficulty explaining if it turns out Tkk isn't real. Because that is odd to me. There's a sadness and an annoyance there that I cannot explain otherwise. I do not feel Tae blames Jm for this, those two are good. If there's feeligns of anger those feelings are for the situation as a whole. Fandom often forgets that members know each other way better than we know them. So Tae knows better what's in Jm and Jk's minds than we do. And that goes the other way around as well. I am convinced that Jm would hate the way you think of Tae, just like Tae would hate the way some Tkkrs think about Jm.

[dean-a-mean-tae]

Behind The Scenes of Human | Stray Kids Extra Member AU

Listen to LIAM explain his second song in his album, Damage. - Achievement Goals

WARNINGS:

Nicholas Ross Master List | Requested: Yes

The blank screen fades to Nicholas laughing with the crew behind the camera. A bucket hat covers his twists, and his belt chains cling with each movement. Someone clears their throat, and Nicholas sits up straight, his lips pursed to hide a smile.

"Hello, I'm Nicholas. My stage name is LIAM. I'm here to talk about my song Human from my album Damage," He chuckles as he gives the camera a thumbs up.

𝙒𝙝𝙤 𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙙𝙞𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙙𝙨?

"The song is for everyone." His answer was immediate. His eyes unfocused as his head slowly nodded. Nicholas broke from his trance when someone snapped their fingers.

 "I'm sorry," He apologized, shifting in his seat as he adjusted his shirt. He looked at the board behind the camera and reread the question.

"Oh, it's for people to listen to and for people to relate to," Nick answered, stretching his fingers in thought. "I wish everyone understood that everyone is human."

"We eat, *bleep*, breathe, and drink water like everyone else. Some people have to do things differently but still need it."

"I wish people would stop holding others to their standards," He nodded. "People are happy until society tries to mold them into what they believe to be perfect."

𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙚𝙖𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙗𝙚𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙜?

Nicholas hummed as he thought of an answer. He tilted his head, squinting as he answered, "Human is about the terrible side of being a human."

"Society forgets that we're all human."

"We cannot be perfect," Nick said, scratching his knuckles. "There isn't a correct definition of perfect for humans."

𝙒𝙝𝙤 𝙬𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙡𝙮𝙧𝙞𝙘𝙨?

"Me and Chan wrote the song," Nicholas smiled as his body vibrated in his seat, "I got inspiration from him. But he'll tell you I did everything. So I like to say that he did the writing as well."

𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙘𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙗𝙚𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙡𝙮𝙧𝙞𝙘𝙨?

"Um," Nicholas hummed, bouncing his leg. He tilted his head as he tugged at his earring in thought. After someone handed him a paper with the lyrics, he sighed.

"A piece of the chorus is Some people got the real problems. Some people out of luck." 

"People go through different struggles and deal with them differently, but both situations are distasteful. Society has no problem with brushing off people's battles," Nicholas answers as he messes with his chains. His neck pops as he shifts in his seat.

"When we express emotions healthily, we're called sensitive. If we raise our voice or cuss, we're disrespectful and overreacting. But keeping quiet doesn't help the person struggling. It benefits those already succeeding."

Nicholas sighs as he reads the next line, "Some people think I can solve them."

Nicholas slumped in his seat as he looked up at the ceiling. His eyes flicked between the different spots. With his thoughts gathered, Nicholas leaned his elbows onto his knees.

"I've had people I know and people I don't ask me for solutions and tell me I saved them."

"Someone told me that I, as a person, make them wake up in the morning," He breathlessly chuckled as he lazily tossed his hand up. 

"I'm human, just like everyone else," He said, pointing at himself. Waving his hand in a general direction, Nicholas continued, "I know just as much as the next person. It's a lot of weight knowing that my actions affect a group of people simply because they like how I look, my talents, or my character."

Nicholas sighed as he sat up, tugging at his earring in thought. Mindlessly looking around the room, he began to ramble. "I can't do basic things as a human because my "fans" might get angry. I won't be able to have a partner. I can't drink or smoke without people throwing a fit, and I can't look at my female friend without people saying I'm fucking her."

He scoffed as he blinked from his daze.

Human Comments

Nicholas Ross Master List

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Tags list: @bada-lee-ily @jinnie-ret @hwxnghyynjin @foxilsdenn @rensahazard @mynameisnotlaura @lucianidealz @ziipzeepzop-eez You can be added by asking in the replies, sending me a message, or doing an ask thingy.

[fivewholeminutes]

there’s a part in take me back to Eden that says “i’m in a waking hell and the gods grow tired.” do you think it’s referencing the origin of vessel and sleep? as in, vessel was in “a waking hell” (reality/earth) before he shifted away from his previous life to believe in sleep (a ‘tired’ god)?

Hello there, Anon! This is a goooooooood one, let me roll my sleeves up for an answer-

This is a delicious perspective I have not considered before, however! I do believe he says "I'm a waking hell" there and I will explain later why, but for that I would have to leave the interpretation of the whole song here. And it will kinda mix the being in waking hell and being a waking hell, because I overdid it again. Apologies in advance.

For me, this song refers to the beginning of it all, to an event which was perhaps the final straw for the trilogy (or even the general idea of Sleep Token) to exist. There are parts of this song that feel like a reminiscence of a catalyst for the whole sleepy business and parts that describe the present, after Vessel got a taste of what the whole sleepy business is about. I'll try to explain that now!

I dream in phosphorescence Bleed through spaces See you drifting past the fog But no one told you where to go

We dive through crystal waters, perfect oceans But no one told me not to breathe And now the weightlessness recedes

Okay, for me, the first verse is him dreaming of the times before, of his Eden (a person, a "better" time in his life, whichever suits you). He bleeds through spaces (in the Dreamworld?) to see what he has lost and craves to come back to. But the dream turns into the moment it all went wrong, where they got lost/drowned. He comes back from the dream-turned-nightmare to the present with the chorus:

My, my, those eyes like fire I'm a winged insect, you're a funeral pyre Come now, bite through these wires I'm a waking hell and the gods grow tired Reset my patient violence along both lines of a pathway higher Grow back your sharpest teeth, you know my desire

(Oh god let me be feral about the chorus for a second here, ok. GOD I LOVE THIS SO MUCH, HOW CAN YOU WRITE POETRY LIKE THIS AND HAVE THE AUDACITY TO DELIVER THOSE LINES SO DELICIOUSLY. WHO GAVE HIM THE RIGHT. IT'S BEEN ALMOST 8 MONTHS AND I AM STILL EXPERIENCING EMOTIONS UNNOWN TO HUMANKIND WHEN I HEAR THIS- okay I am back to being normal now.)

He wakes up and remembers how cruel being under Sleep's influence is. That no matter what he dreams of (hello, The Apparition), he is always waking up to the reality, which is still terrible, despite Sleep's promises. The eyes (probably 6 of them huh) are Sleep's. Sleep continues to lure Vessel in, even when Vessel knows, after being with/serving/worshipping Sleep for quite some time now, that Sleep is going to be his downfall. But he stays, cause he has no better options, mayhaps?

And we're finally getting to the waking hell part which you've asked about!

He is in waking hell still, even if he thought he's going to escape from it. He knows he cannot/will not separate from Sleep now, but it's not like he's going to make Sleep's life easier with completely giving up. He:

isn't happy about the sleepy business (anymore);

has an attitude and WILL bite back;

will make his suffering everyone else's problem now.

Which brings me to the gods - in many interpretations I've seen, Sleep is an outcast in some sort of pantheon. He needed Vessel as much as Vessel needed him and together they are more powerful. Sleep helped Vessel in his lowest moment and Vessel, while gathering more and more worshippers, gave (and is still giving) Sleep enough power to make other gods' lives miserable as a revenge or something. Or just, you know, grow in power in general, it doesn't have to be a revenge. The other gods will be pissed off either way, because one thing all gods hate is other gods/entities growing in power.

The symbiosis with Sleep has worked for a while, but due to various reasons (Sleep getting too greedy, as gods do, not all Vessel's problems being magically fixed by Sleep's presence, miscommunication, different expectations, broken promises etc. etc.) Vessel started to rebel. He's in waking hell still (despite Sleep's promises that lured him in in the first place), so he will become one for the ones he can lash out on now (Sleep and the other gods). He embraced the become ungovernable meme. Isn't there a saying "hell is other people"? He took that literally. While he's awake, he is insufferable to all who he thinks is at fault for his current state now.

I will travel far beyond the path of reason Take me back to Eden

And he's happily going to continue to be insufferable to get what he wants (what Sleep has promised him when they've made their pact or whatever it is they did tbh), even if it's not reasonable to do so. He's beyond caring at this point.

And we're back to flashbacks, baby!

Well yeah, I spit blood when I wake up Sink porcelain stained, choking up brain matter and makeup Just two days since the mainframe went down and I'm still messed up Room feels like a meat freezer, I dangle in it like cold cuts Missed calls, answered phones from people I just don't trust Mirror talk, fake love But I'll take a pound of your flesh Before you take a piece of my paystub White roses, black doves, Godmother, rise up I need you to see me for what I have become

I really think this depicts the catalyst for going under Sleep's influence and the very moment they became entangled. Something happened (accident, death? and the aftermath of it, the lowest point, depression, becoming wary of people around him, aggression etc.) and that's when Sleep took an opportunity that would benefit them both (with the hidden agenda for later, of course). Now imagine the magical girl transformation with the roses and doves flying around and from Just Some Guy he becomes a Vessel and in the last moment of realisation of what he has done, he's crying out to the Godmother (whoever she may be!) that he's changed and probably irrevocably so.

Back to the present!

I guess it goes to show, does it not? That we've no idea what we've got until we lose it And no amount of love will keep it around If we don't choose it And I don't know what's got its teeth in me But I'm about to bite back in anger No amount of self-sought fury Will bring back the glory of innocence

He's realising that no matter what, he cannot turn the time back. Not even with Sleep's "help". He's not going to give up though, just for the sake of having something to do out of spite.

I have traveled far beyond the path of reason Take me back to Eden

Ok, with this one I am frankly not sure if it's "I have travelled" or just a repetition of the previous one. Can't hear it clearly and we don't have official lyrics (i am side eyeing Vessel so much rn). But. If it's "I will", it's just repeating of the things he'll do to piss the gods off. If it's "I have travelled", then maybe he's just confirming the past won't come back, even though he tried everything (has travelled far beyond the path of reason) or maybe he is still hoping the possibility to get back there physically, when everything was fine, and will fight for his Eden still. And not just out of spite.

[kitty-meowskers]

scar playlist drop wooooo (will probably add more songs)

lets go through some of the songs!!!! because i am. gay and not okay.

1) Blood // Water - grandson

ok listen. i havent listen to this song in AGESSSS but i came across it again and oh. my god.

DO I EVEN NEED TO EXPLAIN??? first of all: lamb reference. not gonna lie if the vibes were good that couldve been enough for me to throw it in butttt thats not all. THE PRICE OF YOUR GREED IS YOUR SON AND YOUR DAUGHTER???? get me out of here.

scars whole thing is about how the system 'the shepard' would never free the lambs. it wouldnt bring them any peace or freedom, it wouldnt make their lives easier. the 'look me in my eyes, tell me everthings not fine' implies that he (or the black lamb in his story) knows even if the rest dont want to admit it.

lmao this is just that hes done with the shepard. hes done with the white lambs accepting it and playing along with the game. he joins the fractsidus!!!! yipeee!!!!

2) Hayloft II - Mother Mother

OHHH boy. okay, i know the og song is about two lovers doing the silly and the father of the girl killing the guy and then the girl goes after her dad but look.

lets say the lovers are the black lamb and the white lambs. yes im using his story again because theres no way in hell that story wasnt somehow related to him.

the white lambs got 'shot' aka dragged into the shepards game, slaughtered one by one. all while the black lamb (scar) got the blame. ill bet the people tried to kill him but he made it out alive and then he obviously eventually joined the fractsidus.

hayloft is the white lambs here (yes again. just bear with me). once the shepard ran out of lambs he left, on his way to find a new group excepttttt

scars had enough.

the shepard took away his family from him, his people/lambs. therefore 'eye for an eye, a leg for a leg' but it wasnt enough killing the shepard. he couldnt let something like that again (so much rage in him) so now he has this whole extreme and crazy ideology of how the world could be better, how he could make it better.

3) A Lesson In Dramatics - Jhariah

this is just scar and rover fighting in my head. may the battle scene commence.

4) Wolf in Sheep's Clothing - Set It Off

do i really need to explain this??? okay ive been sucking at words so far but here we go

man this whole thing is JUST about him and the shepherd story isnt it? im just gonna be repeating myself again lets continue-

AHHH ok lets also talk about the way this is said in the song. personally, i think this man has A LOT of 'suppressed' rage. suppressed like that is because it doesnt out as rage necessarily i dont know if i make sense but yeah. he's crazy, but angry isnt something you'll spot at the surface because he hides it away. while the lyrics convey his rage the way he sings it does not necessarily

i have so many thoughts on the other songs too but like. I CANNOT WORD THEM. THE VOICES JUST SCREAM NONSENSE IN MY HEAD AND IM LIKE. YOURE RIGHT. even though i cant explain it..... this was not proof read btw LMAO- i just rambled kind of

[kringletheelf04]

This is crazy (chapter 6)

It's been over a week. A lot has happened already. First Charlie took dad to career day at school and blabbed that dads Santa and I'm the spirit of Christmas. Now he's under evaluation and Laura is threatening dad to take away custody. Currently I'm in the kitchen of my bakery rolling out sugar cookie dough.

The sound of music fills the bakery. The song Quiet, Heavy dreams by Zach Bryan bounces off the walls. I sing along to the lyrics

"How's a man get so homesick for a face he's never seen?"

"Yah know, I always thought that. Now I've met you I don't think I'll be able to stay away." A familiar voice snaps me out of my tranquility.

Turning around, I raise my rolling pin, ready to beat senseless whoever broke into my locked bakery.

I am met with a pair of coffee colored eyes. They shimmer with fondness I've seen only once before. It's Bernard!

"What the fuck dude! You nearly gave me a heart attack!" I berate him, setting the rolling pin onto the counter and pause the speaker.

"First off, language. If you're gonna be the face of Christmas spirit you're gonna have to change that. Also I told you I'd be seeing you soon (y/n)." Bernard grimaces.

"This is crazy! That was just some silly dream!" I say as I pace the floor.

His grin drops, if only momentarily. It makes me feel bad. I've only spent a couple hours with this guy before and I'm already getting attached. This is such main character bullshit.

"I'm sorry you feel that way. But I'm here to help train you to be the Christmas spirit." Bernard states, hands buried in his pockets.

"How'd you even get in? The doors are all locked and all of our windows are stationary." I query.

"Elf magic." Bernard says peering over my shoulder.

"Well I can't 'train', or whatever right now. I have so many orders that need filled. I'm up to my ears in cookie dough. So unless you're here to help frost over 12 dozen snowflake cookies, then you need to vamoose." I go to wash my hands and continue to roll out the cookie dough.

"I don't think you get this is a big deal (y/n). Even if you're my soulmate I can't let you slack in responsibilities." Bernard walks next to me.

"I can't do this 'responsibilities' bull crap right now. I already have way to much on my plate. I have to make these cookies, pick up Charlie from school, and have dinner in the table by the time dad gets home. I cannot be talking to myself in the back room of my shop. I'm already going crazy talking to animals, not this too!" I rant to Bernard.

"Wait. Did you say talking to animals? When did this start?" Bernard grabs my shoulder and turns me to face him.

"The night that guy fell off our roof. The reindeer talked to me." I say setting down my rolling pin.

"You probably think I'm crazy, then again you're not even real, right!" I nervously chuckle.

"I'm real. Just as real as you are." Bernard states into my eyes

"So if you're real, then why don't you have a last name?" I cross my arms.

"Elves don't. It makes things easier when looking for your soulmate. Normally they are other elves. I've looked into it. You're the first ever human in elven history to have a soulmate." Bernard gets even closer to me.

I start putting the cookie dough back. I can't do this right now. I'll just do it tomorrow. If I get in early enough I'll be ok.

"So what exactly does this mean for me, for us I mean?" I untie my apron and fold it. I set it on the counter and wash my hands of any flour.

"You've got to move to the pole in approximately 10 months and 11 days. From there you will live out the rest of eternity spreading Christmas joy." Bernard explains.

"Christmas joy! That's bullshit." I spit.

" I read a bit about you. I'm sorry that such an experience has ruined so many precious moments for you." Bernard says softly.

"How do you know about my mom?" I ask, tears welling up in the corners of my eyes.

"As your soulmate, I'm required to know. And I'm sorry you had to go through that. It's not fair for any child of any age to lose a parent." Bernard pulls me into a hug.

He's warm, but not too warm. My arms go around his neck and his to the small of my back. If I'm crazy, I like crazy. I like him. He's been nothing but kind to me and now I feel like a jerk.

"I'm such a jerk! I'm so sorry!" I sob.

"It's ok. It's ok. I know you're under a lot of stress." He breaths softly.

I pull back and I'm sure my face is red and tear stained, but he looks at me like I'm the most beautiful person in the galaxy. So much love radiates off of him.

My eyes dart back and forth from his eyes to his lips. I start to subconsciously lean forward. His hand moves from my back to cup my cheek. His thumb brushes my cheek softly. I lean in just enough that our noses brush. I can feel his breath, uneven and heavy. My lips close in on his. His lips catch mine in a soft, yet passionate kiss. I swear I can feel sparks. He tastes of chocolate and a hint of peppermint. Suddenly he separates himself and presses his forehead onto mine. I take his hand into mine and squeeze lightly.

I pull away. "I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry!"

"It's ok. I'm your soulmate. It's natural to feel a pull to me. I sure feel a pull to you. If I didn't I wouldn't have kissed you back." Bernard pulls me into a embrace.

We are interrupted by the alarm on my phone going off. I grab it and curse.

"Fuck, I gotta pick up Charlie. Dad is supposed to be working late tonight and it's his weekend. I'm sorry to do this, but I have to go." I grab my car keys and turn back to him.

"It's ok. I know you've got a lot to do. I'll be visiting soon again. We got to get you trained. Your dad will fall into it, but you have to know what to do." He smiles and I swear the room brightens.

"I'll see you then!" I start out the door.

"By the way -" I start, turning around. Only to see just a poof of glitter in the air and Bernard nowhere to be seen. I scoff and lock the door behind me.

[lets-talk-spirituality]

 I was wondering if you could possibly do lyric analysis, for if I could fly and walking in the wind eventually. Whenever you have the time and energy. 

Now’s the perfect time for me to get to this even though you sent this however many moons ago. Hello. I will do if I could fly!

If I could fly, I'd be coming right back home to you

“If I were a bluebird, I would fly to ya” (daylight) “so you wait for me in the sky” (golden) in a lot of his songs there’s this battle between leaving and staying, wanting to be gone and home “two weeks and I’ll be home, carry the feeling, through Paris all through Rome” (Canyon Moon), we even see in his video for Daylight that he tries to be a bird but it doesn’t work, there is a sentiment of wishing things could be different but they can’t be, and here we have again, he can’t fly because he’s human

I think I might give up everything, Just ask me to

He’s not sure but he thinks he’d give up everything if they’d just ask him to, what is everything? Fame, success, music “my eyes want you more than a melody” (sv6) money, women?

Pay attention, I hope that you listen

“I told you but I know you never listen” (woman) “you never listen, I hope you’re missing me by now” (daylight) “open up your eyes, shut your mouth and see” (only angel) throughout his writing there is a theme of him trying to express his love but this person not hearing him for some reason, not getting it, so the pay attention part is him wanting them to listen closely

'Cause I let my guard down, Right now, I'm completely defenseless

Harry is fearful of being vulnerable “I know that you’re scared because hearts get broken” (golden) and also scared to be alone, he’s telling this person that this song is him being defenseless for them in the only way he can, but he will only let his defenses down for them, which is what he really wants them to see—this song for the gesture it is

For your eyes only, I show you my heart

This person is the only one he shows his heart to, maybe because they are the only one who can truly see him clearly, but he also doesn’t think in many ways that they do see him clearly, he hopes by showing his heart to them they will see him clearly, I also hear this as he is setting this person apart as special, your eyes only, only you do I show my heart to, that’s what makes you different to me

For when you're lonely and forget who you are

“I don’t want you to get lost” (MFASR) “I can see you’re lonely down there, don’t you know that I am right here” (satellite) “You say we’ll be together even when you’re lost” (something great) I also hear this line as this person easily forgets who they are to him, he wrote them a love song for when they forget what they mean to him, because he can’t fly, they aren’t together, they don’t pay attention sometimes and can’t see his heart (at least he feels/fears they don’t) so he hopes this song will do as a reminder

I'm missing half of me when we're apart / Now you know me, for your eyes only / For your eyes only

For some reason he wants to make sure this person understands and knows him “you never saw my birth mark” (little freak) because he feels he came across wrong “I was just tongue tied” (sv6) and it’s interesting because he has many songs about yearning to know someone and be known in return, these common themes repeat throughout later songs as shown through out the analysis when I allude to future songs, for some reason he and this person cannot communicate clearly and he is worried they don’t know he loves them

I've got scars, Even though they can't always be seen

This person doesn’t understand Harry’s pain and he continually tries to explain it throughout his music… what are these scars that can’t be seen (he thinks can’t be seen?) — deep down he doesn’t feel good enough, he’s worried no one will ever understand or love him, he chronically feels alone, he has intimacy issues, etc. The other scar is they can’t see how much he loves them and that wounds him.

Scars are also tattoos. I’ve always seen and understood Harry to have used tattoos to deal with the pressure of his life in one direction. I think he too learned the grounding of pain which is part of his love of fitness. It is grounding. He literally wears his pain in the open, as a singer and famous person we see all his pain in the open and yet still we don’t see his true pain. Or so he feels, and this person the song is for he feels definitely doesn’t see his pain.

And pain gets hard, But now you're here and I don't feel a thing

“Shadows come from the pain you’re running from” (WDBHG) “Matilda you talk of the pain like it’s all alright” (Matilda) “you’ve got the antidote” (daylight) “running with the thieves because you left me in the hallway” (mmith)

Harry uses sex and drugs to escape the pain of this deep emptiness and brokenness he feels that comes from his childhood. He also uses love or relationships to escape the pain of his chronic loneliness only it ultimately becomes amplified because he feels his pain and his experience aren’t seen which they aren’t because he’s so busy playing pretend that he never shows his true self. This person in this song momentarily eases his existential pain.

“Now you’re in my life” “come on jump out at me” there are themes of someone showing up randomly and him begging for someone to show up randomly, we also see this theme of coming in and out of connection in the as it was music video. It seems them showing is random.

I can feel your heart inside of mine, (I feel it, I feel it)

“two hearts in one home” harry feels deeply connected to this person, he uses very physical and vivid imagery to express the concept of feeling a deep soul connection to someone, he feels their heart beating within his own heart “i can feel you take control of who i am and all I’ve ever known”

I've been going out of my mind, (I feel it, I feel it)

“I’m out of my head” (golden) there are many themes of Harry expressing that falling in love to him feels like letting go of his autonomy of status as separate self and that makes him feel out of sorts or crazy which is part of why he pulls back

Know that I'm just wasting time, and I hope that you don't run from me

“Don’t know where we’re going but we know where we belong” “I build a big house, say I’ll settle down”

Basically Harry knows that hes meant to be with someone and this in between “cut out my middle” is a waste of time but it’s important for him to have this time to grow and develop, he hopes this person will understand this about him and not run from him “they make me feel wanted make me come fast” I always took this line to be like he knows how he looks in the media as this fuck boy and he hopes his person will see past that to his core, see that he’s been in pain trying to figure out who he is and that it’s all illusions, all he really wants is to find love that lasts and a family that sticks together (he’s been saying this this whole time I swear yall lol)

[apolloamy]

....I come baring playlists and excessive amounts of explanation as to what's on them and why....

SO!!! I made three different playlists for All Night In Your Garden / The Musician AU!!! Because I can only do things in excess it seems!!! And I'm burdening you with all of them!!!

to start off, this is the one I made based on your answer to the ask about it, so I'm hoping it's the closest to your vision for it. it's 2hrs long and i spent an obscene amount of time trying to structure it properly (it even has an intermission section)!!!! i'm going to go through it song by song (even if I could and I want to) because that would take far too long. I will however, summarise it, to fulfil my burning need to over-explain myself at any give moment.

it's got most of the songs you talked about in your post: Berlin, The Prophet's Song, I Have Friends In Holy Spaces, Ghost Song, Subterranean Homesick Alien, Tragic Kingdom.

and then I had to fill in the spaces with other tracks:

Northern Downpour went with IHFIHS because they are holding hands and it would be wrong to split them up <3

To go with the "horrifying rawness" of Lou Reed, I got some Elliot Smith and two versions of Famous Blue Raincoat (Cohen's original and The Like's cover, because it's just !!!!!!!!!),

The Other Girl by The Young Veins is also there because of Reed but the connection is because the chorus section reminded me of Berlin (you're right and i'm wrong // hey babe i'm gonna miss you now that you're gone 🤝 you were right, I was wrong, like I always am and you always are)

Had to get some Paramore in the form of This Is Why (because the bass reminded me of Ghost Song, vaguely) and Playing God (amyrory core, cannot explain further)

On the anti-genre label....when Panic!'s first album came out, critics got *creative* with defining it's genre...a few of my favourite "genres" that came out of this were baroquemo, vaudevillian rock, theatrical folk, melodic dance rock and spiky dance pop, so with that in mind, I had to get in some A Fever You Can't Sweat Out tracks: Intermission (will talk more about it later) and There's A Good Reason... (Jazz-inspired Dark Cabaret, the lyrics are very...spiteful and fun, defo along the vibes of taunting someone or "bursting into somebody’s room uninvited or crashing a party")

PINK FLOYD!!! OBVIOUSLY!!! Wish You Were has more of that raw feeling, it's part of the intermission!!! Brain Damage and Childhood's End make appearances as well!!!

Bauhaus + Cocteau Twins are on there for more of that disordered sound. Spellbound by Siouxsie and the Banshees has similar vibes + reminds me of She's Lost Control by Joy Division for some weird reason.

FOR THE INTERMISSION SECTION!!!! (my favourite and most important section):

I've already touched on A Fever You Can't Sweat Out's presence on the playlist but it just...!!!! it falls in line with a lot of what you said!!! it's anti-genre, it's got radio transmissions, it's spiteful and angsty but also very well constructed for an album written by 18/19yr olds!!!!!

and all of this is culminated in the intermission track, it goes from the techno/dance inspired tracks on the first half of the album to the more orchestral pieces on the second half by transitioning into a piano piece with a scratchy radio transmission to mark the switch (Ladies and gentlemen, due to circumstances beyond our control, We are unable to continue our broadcast of dance music, We shall continue now with our piano instrumental) !!!!!!

BUT THAT'S NOT THE ONLY PART!!!!!

because you know what else has some scratchy radio type audio at the start!!! Wish You Were Here!!! I am firm in my belief that ANIYG would have this really messy intermission section to hide the most honest track of the album!!!! a song hidden in plain sight!!!

to close the intermission section, sandwiching WYWH in between to instrumentals, a piece from the Coraline soundtrack (The Fantastic Garden)!!!

I use a few tracks from Coraline to create the illusion of structure, so everything opens and closes with them!!!

there are loads of stuff I haven't talked about, because this is getting FAR TOO detailed for a spotify playlist that I made but whatever...this is a serious sport to me

(will link the other two some other time)

IVY HIIIIIIIII!!!! I let this sit in my inbox for a while because I didn't really wanna say goodbye to it, but it's raining here now and I'm listening to the playlist and going through my genetics notes AND WHAT BETTER TIME TO ANSWER THIS ASK?!?!?!?! I don't know how you managed to capture the sound from my head, but here we are!!! This is exactly what I imagined :"))) (was sooo fun to see Eleanor Rigby & Nowhere Man on the list because I have those albums on vinyl so whenever they come up on the playlist I request assistance from my record player :") Fun fact about Berlin!!!!! It was originally featured on Reed's debut album (the version you included!!!!!) but he eventually decided to just... make an entire album that's inspired by it AND named after it (which I have on vinyl as well, as of recent :") AND he had Berlin (The Song) come back as the first track on the album which is... well.... that's... very Cassandra Theory to me... (especially 'cause the album functions as a book, a common theme with Lou I wanted to put William Burroughs’s Beat-era novels and Ginsberg’s Howl into a rock song Reed) IT'S NOT EVEN THE ONLY SONG HE RESURRECTS ON BERLIN (THE ALBUM), BUT I'LL SHUT UP NOW and end the dad rock (even though this is technically mom rock in my case dhdjdjdkkd) rant with this:

MALIBU!!!! SPACE ODDITY!!!!! BEEN A SON!!!!! SPELLBOUND!!!!!! SUNNY AFTERNOON!!!!! I CAN KEEP GOING!!!!!!

COHEN!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3 pink floyd <3 <3 <3 i love a weird old scratchy radio type audio moment <3 <3 <3

A SONG HIDDEN IN PLAIN SIGHT 🧡 CORALINE SOUNDTRACK 🧡

Idk Ivy, I just need those other two playlists asap... and if you have anything more to say on the subject 👀, please do <3

[supraventriculart]

"Everything takes it's toll but there's no tolls I can take

I haven't yet found a good reason to be awake"

Reckon at this point help is too much to ask. I don't know what's wrong or what's happening. Everything is empty and joyless now.

I used to hate myself vehemently while still being able to enjoy things I like. But now it's all dark empty. Now I can't even listen to music to help. My last remaining close friend is all I have left to make me feel alive.

I hope he knows how much I love him. That unspoken contract of men not talking about their feelings is always there. I know he knows I love him. I know he knows I crush on him. But how much does he know? Should I write a song for him? That didn't go anywhere the first time.

There's nothing left. existence is just waiting until I can sleep now. And it's not like I have a job or anything, I'm just staring at my phone until I go to sleep. If I die, nobody is gonna notice. A whole 4 people even know I exist outside my house. I don't speak many words a day anymore. It's mostly just singing to myself.

I don't want to kill myself but my other options are disappearing. And I've been lost inside of this desolate warp for so many years that I don't have a clue what "normal" feels like. If I die, not many are gonna notice. It's not gonna effect much of anything.

I used to be able to talk out my feelings with friends all the time. But years of "I hate everything and want to die" have got to be getting old. And people are all I have left, so I cannot risk bothering them. It's fundamentally against my existence to bother a friend.

To ask for help is to vent to a friend again. And that risks bothering them. Which wouldn't be so bad in the context of asking for help, but I never take the advice I'm given. I continue to lay here and deteriorate.

I feel like I've lost my mind too. I can't think like I once could. I used to so thoroughly enjoy thinking philosophically and mentally tampering with the limits of reality. Can't even do that anymore. Now I just consume and think as little as possible about anything.

Should've brained myself while I was still with my ex.

Speaking of her, I still haven't dealt with that. The whole breakup happened without me feeling a thing. I still have yet to feel anything. I chose not to after having been through so much anguish over her. I'm sure that wasn't healthy, but nobodies explained to me how, so I see no reason to push myself to pain. She was debatably more fucked in the head than I am, but feel she has a good chance of outliving me.

Just shoot me at this point. Why am I supposed to improve if even the things I love aren't enjoyable? Why do anything when I feel like this?

I don't know who I am anymore or what's happening. And since leaving her, I've got nobody that gives a fuck. I need a warm embrace. I need help. I need myself. I need substance. I need life. I need death. I need something.

Even Shadows Have Shadows

[rnelodyy]

Something I’ve been thinking about is the reason why Berdly’s death at the end of the Snowgrave route feels so impactful. Why it hits so hard for me, especially.

The thing about Hometown in Deltarune is that it’s meant to do what the name implies: it’s meant to feel like coming home. It’s a place completely disconnected from the Dark World, where there’s nothing that can hurt you. Everyone there knows Kris and is on good terms with them, talking to NPCs nets you insight into Kris's backstory and showcases that they have a lot of history in this town, and even when your adventures in the Dark World change those worlds for good, Hometown remains a constant.

And I feel like the COUNTLESS references to Undertale within Hometown serve to make it feel like home on a meta-level. The people you spent hours befriending in Undertale are here, slightly different, but here all the same. The UI is the same as in Undertale, Hometown’s theme has bits of Snowdin’s leitmotif in it, Asgore greets you the same way he does in Undertale, Toriel’s house has the same reading chair and the exact same musical theme as it does in Undertale, Sans is virtually unchanged and even makes a tongue-and-cheek reference to you, the player, already knowing who he is, the list goes on. Hometown is new to anyone who hasn’t played Undertale, but anyone who HAS will INSTANTLY feel at home in Hometown.

Hometown, in essence, represents the status quo. The monster-of-the-week format of Deltarune means you’re going to get a completely new world to explore with completely different people in it in every chapter, so a feature like Hometown is something that’s sorely needed to allow the player to decompress in an environment they recognize as safe.

And yeah, there are some wider mysteries in Hometown itself (the bunker in the woods, the street blocked off by police tape, Onion-san hearing a song from deep in the ocean, Papyrus’s glaring absence, Kris’s antics whenever they rip the soul out of their body, etc), and I guarantee the status quo of Hometown will be broken at some point, but for now, it remains intact, and functions as an anchor point for Kris and the player.

Berdly’s death shatters that status quo.

You get this a little in certain normal routes too. If you attack Queen during the final fight instead of trying to loosen Berdly’s wires, Berdly will get himself free, but gets horribly electrocuted in the process. When he wakes up in the Light World again, he finds that his right arm, the one that got the shock, is completely paralyzed.

And yeah, a character, a teenager no less, suddenly receiving permanent nerve damage is a pretty big shock, but the thing is, it doesn’t need to destroy the status quo. Berdly will need to learn to live with a disability, but he can still function with one arm, and considering he got it through electrocution, he can reasonably explain it away to any adults asking how it happened. Like, there was a broken wire and he grabbed it by accident and got a shock or something.

But when Berdly dies, the status quo is completely shattered, because the status quo of Hometown as a sleepy little village cannot continue on if a teenage boy is mysteriously found dead in the library. And even if Kris managed to hide his body, or it turned to dust after they left, Berdly would still be missed. He has parents to go home to, he has a job, he volunteers at the library and he still goes to school, people will notice if he disappears.

For the moment, the status quo in Hometown is preserved. People still wander around town like they usually do (there’s a corpse in the library), Noelle still visits her dad in the hospital (she killed one of her best friends), Toriel still teaches Susie how to make pie (someone’s son isn’t coming home tonight), and in the end, everyone goes to bed while Berdly is still Fucking Dead, face-down on a table in the library, or stuffed in a supply closet with the rest of the garbage.

The normal route of Chapter 2 ends with a cliffhanger, sure, but the status quo of Hometown is still preserved. In the Snowgrave route however, it almost feels like the town is holding its breath. At some point, somebody is going to walk into the computer lab and find a child’s corpse in there. At some point, Berdly’s boss is going to wonder why her employee hasn’t shown up. At some point, Berdly’s parents are going to call the police wondering why their son hasn’t come home.

Shattering the status quo of the peaceful hometown is a standard trope in this kind of fiction, and there’s a lot of setup for this to happen near the end of Deltarune, when Asriel comes home. It’s not supposed to happen in Chapter Two. It’s not supposed to happen by your hand. Deltarune has been hammering in over and over that your choices don’t matter, and you’ve just gotten a teenage boy killed.

Chapter 3 with a Snowgrave save can go one of two ways. Either Hometown is thrown into absolute chaos, Kris, Susie and Noelle are subjected to questioning, school will be shut down, and the status quo will be obliterated, or… Nothing could happen. Characters could treat Berdly as if he’s still alive, just busy, or they could forget about his existence entirely. Deltarune’s Snowgrave route overall feels like the game itself doesn’t know how to handle what you’re doing, and just tries to shove plot elements together to still make a cohesive story out of the fucking mess you’ve made, twisting the plot so that Berdly’s death goes unnoticed wouldn’t be a stretch.

Either way, I’m very nervous for what Toby has up his sleeve for Chapter 3.

[edwardskhakipants]

Forks, Washington. August 2004.

Esme and Carlisle stood in the middle of their grand living room, waiting for their five vampire children to arrive. Alice arrived first—prompt as usual. She settled herself gracefully onto the tufted sofa Esme had recently acquired, only to be immediately jostled by Emmett who heaved himself onto the cushions. A breath caught in Esme’s throat—she had lost many pieces from her beloved collection by that action—but it looked like this one was still in one piece. For the moment. Jasper took Edward’s normal spot in the only armchair, forcing Edward to wedge himself between Alice and Emmett.

“What?” Rosalie grumbled as she perched on the armrest of the couch beside Emmett, “Are we having another one of those How to Respect the Telepath in Your Life meetings again?”

“No,” Edward answered, fully aware of the intent of this meeting since it hatched in Carlisle's mind two days prior. “But there’s never a bad time to bring that up. Christ, Emmett, if you’re going to have a song stuck in your head for over seventy-two hours, the least you can do is learn the correct lyrics.”

Emmett’s eyebrows knit together, asking his brother a silent question.

“It’s ‘mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido,’” Edward answered.

Emmett’s brow furrowed doubtfully.

“No.” Edward shook his head, answering Emmett’s thoughts. “Why would he eat a beetle?”

Emmett grinned playfully and tilted his head towards Edward.

Edward wasn’t amused. “You know what it means.”

A silly grin plastered on his face, Emmett elbowed Edward in the ribs, silently egging him on.  

Edward’s eyes darted to Carlisle, then Esme, and he shifted in his seat. “Sexual desire,” he muttered.  

Emmett howled with laughter and clapped his hands once, “Wow, Eddie! You’re just going to say that in front of Esme!?” Edward scowled as Emmett’s bouts of laughter echoed through the room.

Esme ran a hand through her youngest’s ginger hair. “Boys,” she warned, and Emmett sucked in his laughter.

“Our meeting today has to do with all of you,” Carlisle began.

“We simply wanted to go over the rules of attending school with you kids before you start your second year at Forks High School,” Esme explained, unfolding and re-folding her hands in front of her. “There are already whispers, and we don’t want those whispers to turn into rumors.”

“I thought the only whispers about us at school were whether or not Edward liked girls,” Rosalie said, earning an eye-roll from Edward.

“No,” Alice chirped,” Some kids think we’re a cult.”

Jasper leaned back heavily in his chair. “We haven’t heard that one since the Seventies.”

“Kids are getting more creative these days.” Emmett nodded appreciatively.

Esme held up one, delicate finger. “Which is why it is best to take preventative action.”

Carlisle took the floor. “We thought a few reminders would be helpful before you started your first day of your second year,” Carlisle said. “We don’t want another incident like the one we had at the end of last year.”

Every head in the room turned towards Emmett.

“What?” Emmett threw up his hands in exasperation, “The water gun fight was the senior prank—I wasn’t the one who brought them to the school. Hell, I wasn’t even the only student who got suspended!”

“That’s true,” Carlisle agreed, “but you were the only student to shout, ‘Sit down, kids! Daddy’s gotta tinkle,’ and shoot the stream of the gun from your crotch.”

Jasper snickered—the sound was immediately silenced by a single raised eyebrow from Esme.

“I still don’t see the problem,” Emmett continued, “That’s not necessarily a vampire thing.”

Edward—who often mistook himself as the third vampire parent rather than the youngest son—sighed, “Yes, but it brings unnecessary attention to the family. Which is the first rule: do not bring attention to yourself.”

Esme ran her fingers through her son’s hair once more, “Yes, darling, you are especially good at keeping to yourself.” Edward’s eyes widened, despite Esme’s gentle touch, already aware of where her point was headed. “So much so, that I have been given the names of several child therapists to help my son through his depression. One was recommended for his exceptional work on spotting and treating the early signs of sociopathic behavior.”

Esme grabbed her son’s chin and forced him to look at her. “You have to talk to other people.”

Knocked off his high horse, Edward flinched back from Esme’s hand. “Friendship with humans never bodes well for us.”

“We’re not asking you to create lifelong friendships with humans,” Carlisle clarified, “We are simply asking you to be likable.”

“A nearly impossible feat for Edward.” Rosalie grinned. The comment went unnoticed, save Edward’s slight flinch. But the quick, little tick was satisfying enough for Rose.

“Look at your father,” Esme gestured towards Carlisle, “At every hospital he works at, he goes out of his way to ensure he is well-liked among his colleagues. He forces down countless lunches and coffees, solely to make sure they’re comfortable around him.”

Carlisle took over. “And your mother, a beloved member of her gardening club and a prized member of the PTA.”

“And neither of us have rumors started about us, and do you know why?”

All five teenagers grumbled the ingrained response. “Humans don’t want to spread rumors about people they like.”

“Exactly.” Esme nodded.

“I try!” Alice whined, “But Edward never lets me talk to any humans.”

“That’s because every, single thing that is about to come out of your mouth is incriminating. You might as well walk around with a neon sign that says, ‘I’m a psychic vampire’.”

Alice scoffed, “Is not!”

“You wanted to tell Nihal Howard not to audition for the musical.”

“And he broke his leg on opening night,” Alice challenged.  

“You were going to tell Christiana Ward that pink was not her color.”

“And she lost prom queen to Ashley Kirby.”

Jasper put a comforting hand on his wife’s knee. “Maybe try not to meddle so much, darlin’. Natural relationships, first.”

“They would have been!” Alice wailed, “I would have played it cool and casual and made friends and you all would have seen it! But everyone’s hurt and I have no friends at all because Edward won’t let me try!”

Edward rolled his eyes.

Carlisle suppressed a heavy sigh. “You have to let your sister try, Edward.”

Edward’s mouth fell open. “You cannot seriously be siding with her on this!”

But Carlisle stood his ground. He and Edward stared at one another for a few seconds, engaged in a silent conversation. In the end, Carlisle tilted his chin and Edward slumped back. Victorious, Alice used both pointer fingers to jab Edward in the side several dozen times at vampire speed.

Rosalie flipped her golden locks over her shoulder. “I don’t know how you all struggle so much. I have no issues with becoming well-liked at school while remaining inconspicuous.”

“Oh yeah, you’re so inconspicuous,” Edward grumbled, now extra-petty that he had been called out two times in one meeting. “You dress like you're on your way to brunch at your second husband’s country club in Beverly Hills and you make out with your foster brother. The perfect picture of discretion in Forks High School.”

“At least I don’t dress like a sad, old man.” Rosalie grimaced, disappointed in her comeback. The light, humorous insults that were required in family situations were Emmett’s forte; Rosalie’s insults were meant to emotionally cripple a person.

Edward sat up in his seat on the couch and turned to face Rosalie. “I think you missed the main takeaway in that you make out with your foster brother.” Edward turned back. “I can read your minds, and I still don’t understand what made either of you think it was okay to bring your relationship to school?!”

Emmett smiled, unperturbed. “It’s hot.”

“It’s disturbing,” Edward disagreed.

Esme frowned, “You kids don’t really do that, do you?”

“Would it help if Jasper and I became an official couple too?” Alice suggested.     Jasper perked up at the idea of being able to hold hands with Alice in public again.

“No!” Edward yelled at the same time Emmett and Rosalie muttered their acquiesce.

“It wouldn’t seem as weird if there were two couples,” Emmett agreed.

Edward dug his fingers through his hair. “Oh my god!”

“...maybe not, kids,” Esme intervened, but was ultimately ignored.

“So should we come out today like it happened over the summer, or make a little show out of it?” Alice asked Rosalie.

Rosalie waved a hand in the air. “Oh, it’s way more fun if you play up the theatrics.”

“A little more realistic, too,” Emmett agreed.

Alice looked to Jasper for his opinion. “It might be better if we were discreet about it,” she said. “Like we knew it was wrong, but we wouldn’t let anything stand in the way of our love.”

Jasper scooted forward to the edge of his seat. “Or we could let it be quiet and drawn out. Let others see our mutual pining, and root for us to be together.”

Gazing deep into the golden eyes of her soulmate, Alice sighed, “I love that.”

“If people wanted us to get together, it would normalize Emmett and Rosalie’s relationship.”

“Or Rosalie and Emmett could stop,” Edward suggested, bitterly. “That would be normal, too.”

“Oh, Edward,” Alice patted his shoulder, “You’ll find love someday, too.”

“That is not at all what bothers me about the situation.”

Carlisle made the decision for everyone. “Rosalie and Emmett, break up at school. Alice and Jasper, remain friends and siblings.”

Disappointment filtered into the room through Jasper.  

“I heard that,” Edward grumbled at someone’s thoughts.

“You were supposed to,” Rosalie shot back.

“We are also initiating a new rule,” Esme brought the room back to the conversation at hand, “No more correcting your teachers.”

A chorus of complaints rang from the couch.

Esme clicked her tongue, “I’m tired of defending you all from entirely preventable issues. I have emails from curious teachers wondering why my foster daughter is taking French 101, when she already appears to be fluent.” Esme looked at Rosalie, who immediately tucked her bottom lip between her teeth. “Or why my son, at the tender age of sixteen, could not only deadlift three hundred pounds in his first weightlifting class, but also give his coach tips on improving his posture.”

Emmett glanced over at Edward before he realized Esme was, in fact, addressing him. “What!?”

Jasper snorted. The sound was a mistake, for it brought Esme’s wrath onto him. “And not to mention the emails from not one, not two, but three teachers warning me that my foster son has an intimate understanding of the mechanics of a point fifty-eight caliber rifle-musket.” Esme held out her hands, almost pleadingly, “How does that subject keep coming up, Jasper?”

A noncommittal grunt was the only answer Jasper had for that question.

“No more,” she commanded. “You can get good grades but keep your extra knowledge on any subject to yourself. Whatever your teacher teaches is all you know. Understand?”

“But what if we—” Edward started.

“Understand?” Esme repeated.

The five teenage vampires understood, even if they didn’t want to. 

“I believe that all five of you will graduate from Forks High School!” Esme cheered.

The kids stared back, unable to muster the zeal Esme had over the prospect.

“Meeting adjourned!” Carlisle announced, and faster than fast vampire speed, the kids bolted from their seats. 

Esme was able to get in a few more reminders as her children flitted around the house and filed out to the silver Volvo.  “Remember to buy lunch with cash and not your credit cards. Emmett, please do not joke about being mauled by a bear. Do not address your teachers by their first names—I don’t care if you’re older than they are, Edward. Alice, please wear something a bit more causal, pet.”

When the house was finally empty, Carlisle pulled Esme backwards into his chest and began massaging her temples. The gesture wasn’t needed, but any touch from her husband was always welcome.

“Do you think they’ll listen?” she asked her husband.

“Not a chance.”

[just-some-random-blogger]

Bootylicious

Stray Kids Bang Chan x Idol!Reader Summary: You're known as the gym rat in your group, and quite frankly, you only have two moods: shredding or chilling. This was why when you're not asleep in between schedules, you're spotted with a male idol you happened to meet in the gym you were at that day. It's a known fact though, that you and Bang Chan are gym buddies and each other's spotter. Word Count: 2k+ Warnings: Internet toxicity, sasaengs, vulgar language, sexism, misogyny, pining, fluff, mentions of Pentagon because why not <3, etc.

A/N: Girl, i shouldn't do this but I did. It's so funny to me someone requested this cause I have recently become an exercise junkie lol. Also, if you can't tell, there is a pov shift after the cut so yeah. I also wanted to keep the reader gender neutral but I want to write about how psychotically different people treat male and female idols because that stuff aint it. It's most definitely not what anon was expecting me to write but I hope they enjoy it nonetheless.

There's compilation in YT with growing parts centered around you flexing your physical fitness and prowess. It ranges from you affectionally touring your fans, which really meant the cameraman, through the gym, introducing your trainer, and doing your routine on camera, to your group (and others) both fawning and bragging about how strong and how hot you are.

CLIP #1: A scene from an interview of your group in Japan, struggling to talk about how you can do 40 straight push ups.

There was a male interviewer in a suit you could all faintly recognize was talking about your recent Instagram post of a gym mirror selfie.

One of your youngest members smirked and in broken Japanese, cutely said, "Wah, she does 100 push ups! Everyday, every night."

You snap your head to the maknae and raise your brows, "nani?" You begin to shake your hands in protest and begin to explain your truth, "absolutely not 100. Maybe around 40, but nooooo, not 100."

The interviewer and your group comically react in awe. The man in the suit urges, "can you show us?"

You give a face, "Excuse me, but I'm not getting paid to do that in this miniskirt."

Everyone, including the film crew, break into laughter.

CLIP #2: A scene from a variety show where you had to prove you were, in fact, yourself, by doing a shortened version of your exercise routine.

One of the hosts of the show asks, "Wait, do you honestly do all of this in your workout? Like you can do all of it?"

The list of your exercises were written on a colourful cardboard, held by the one who just spoke. It was a range of exercises in 10 sets, from jumping jacks to sit ups, to vague sounding exercises like crab pinches and robot arms.

You purse your lips at the last question asked of you, not really liking the tone in which it was asked. You answer quickly and nod proudly, "I actually do more, cause when I get in the zone and I'm already really sweaty, I feel like I should keep going until my whole body burns." You chuckle.

The older hosts, tilt their head and mutter lowly under their breath something along the lines of, "I'd rather die."

You finally do the routine, quickly, continuously, earning impressed reactions from everyone.

"That's hot," one of the hosts note.

"Ya, for some reason it looks easy to do."

The hosts begin to clamour at that statement, and force whoever said to do the exact thing you did. Clearly, they don't work out as much as you do and cannot even get halfway through it without stopping.

You break out into a breathless laugh in amusement of the comical attempt but then protest, explaining how bad it is to force yourself to do more than you can

CLIP #3: Pentagon, Hongseok especially, fawns over how fit you are

Trailing a conversation about how your group is close with Pentagon because your companies are situated closely to each other and you wind up eating together a lot, there is an anecdote about how there was a jar no one could open, no one but you, that is.

The interviewer asks no one in particular, "wah, none of you could open the jar? Really? Or did you all just pretend so she could open it?"

There is a chorus of answers concluding with, "no really, she was the only one that was able to open it."

The story is backed up by how the jar had a really small lid and some hands were too big. Then came an explanation how you were recently into the new rock climbing machine in your gym.

Hongseok speaks up, "I was invited to go to rock climbing in, like, an actual rock climbing place and I was honestly so surprised when she began to climb. She said she never actually tried rock climbing on a wall, but it seemed like she had been doing it for years."

Shinwon agrees, "Right, right. I was also really curious about what they did that day," he points to Hongseok, "that I joined them one time. I never felt so out of shape in my life. I just stayed back and filmed everything."

Pentagon laughs, and then agrees that you were exceptionally fast and just super fit in all honesty.

The interviewer catches Hongseok's expression then suddenly asks, "do you like a woman like that?"

"Yeah, I like my women strong."

Then came a lot of teasing remarks from Pentagon, and a plethora of complaints from delusional fans who did not want Hongseok to ever breathe in your direction again.

With all that's been said about that, in all the parts of this series floating around in the internet, one thing remained, there was a slightly larger population of impressed fans than the still large portion of antifans who wanted nothing to do with it and only came around to hate.

It's hard not to think about it, but even the slightest back handed compliment can sometimes linger in one's mind.

And right now, as much as I kept my mind on my counting as I finished my set high knees, I couldn't help but think of how much backlash I got from posting a post workout photo with my midriff exposed.

Apparently that was not only enough to merit hate for being both a whore and an attention whore, but people baselessly began to hate on my groupmates simply for being associated with me.

It's kind of sad really, how, say Wonho, can post a fairly exposed photo of himself and get so much praise for it, and yet I couldn't even do anything remotely close to that.

And I don't even mean to come at Wonho, we all know he's a beast at the gym and should be able to show as much of his hard work as he is comfortable in showing, but why can't I?

"Hey trooper. I thought you said you were only doing 80 counts?" a voice cracks me out of my train of thought.

I turn to whom spoke and chuckle at myself as I stop my leg raises, "ah yeah, I got lost in thought, and your really good song."

I pull on my earphones and give a lopside smile, "I love working out to God's Menu."

He gives a soft, "he he, thanks."

"No need for a thank you when I'm only giving my honest opinion, Chan."

"Yeah, well still, it makes my kokoro go doki-doki," he sniggers, crossing his arms and flashing a dimpled smile. I raise my upper lip and reel back, "EWWW!"

I playfully shove him. He acts hurt, "this is violence against children."

"Chan, you're literally older than me."

"That doesn't mean I'm not a child at heart."

"You mean, it doesn't mean you're not a drama queen."

"Hey, I have no interest in having a throne, my only interest is," he leans in and whispers, "you."

I feel my soul leave my body as he snorts to himself and runs away. I regurgitate in surprise, "YA!"

"You better do your next set properly," Chan says heading off to a cable row machine, "I'm always watching."

I try to ignore the blood rushing up your neck, "creep."

He shrugs, "rather that or have you get injured, sweet heart."

Yeah, Chan has saved me from a lot of injuries I could have had. It was a bad habit. It stemmed from the same thing that made me mess up my count a while ago, my overthinking.

Sometimes I thought of rather harmless things, but sometimes I began to fixate on the hate I received for simply being. I do a lot to get my mind to realize that they hated me simply because they could and because it was easy. Exercising helped tremendously, especially when I had someone fun to work out with, especially when I was with Chan. He just... made me feel safe, y'know.

But when the news of us being work out buddies surfaced, a lot of sasaengs came for me. Of course, a lot of Stays and my own fans were really kind about, speaking out that we were our own people and exercising together did not mean anything in particular really.

But some really went for it, and made it a hobby to comment on everything I was in that I was a slut for 'working out' with different men every day."

I let out a breath as I finish my routine. I catch my breath and go for a swig of my water. I take a moment then sit down by the mirror, which was near where Chan was currently working out.

"You're doing it again."

I turn from where I was blankly staring at turn to Chan who gave me a soft look, "you good?"

I release a sigh then purse my lips, "maybe."

He pouts, "what happened?"

I shrug and stand from where I sat, "you know, the usual."

Chan then comes up to me and takes my water bottle from me, "you know, no matter how much people say you don't need water to live, you can never change the fact that you are extremely dependent on water to live."

I look at him and half- heartedly point, "are you calling me thirsty?"

He begrudgingly groans and releases a chuckle. He calls my name out in a scolding tone. I feel myself relax, "I know what you're getting at Chan."

He nods, "good. I'll always be here to remind you of that."

I smile and feel an urge to hug him, "if you weren't so sweaty, I would totally hug you right now."

Chan then gives me a look then does not hesitate to crush me into his arms. I groan and whine in protest. He chuckles, "you literally just said you wanted a hug!"

"YOU'RE LITERALLY SO SWEATY. NO ONE WANTS THIS TORTURE."

Chan huffs and gives a wounded look, "hmp. You better spot me while I lift or else I'm unfriending you."

"Hmm... I think I'll be good without you as a friend."

I half expect Chan to whine about it, but he instead smirks, "ahhhh, you must want me to be your boyfriends so badly huh."

I- I mean...

CLIP #4: A crack edit of Chan when he gets asked about his gym relationship with me in Chan's Room.

He was looking through the questions and suddenly chuckles, his ears noticeably began to redden. Cue a zoom in of his face and his red ears. Cue a clip of Cardi B saying, "that's suspicious."

He says my name then continues, "am I close with her? Yeah. I would say I'm close with her-- and her whole group actually."

Captioned: Nice save, Chris.

"The kids and I are close with her group," he says, clearing his throat.

A clip of him clearing his throat is repeated about ten times.

Chan adjust the beanie he was wearing as he thinks of what he was going to say next, "we actually do work out together a lot because she's under a trainer that works with my trainer."

Captioned: Sure, Chan. That's the only reason, right?

Chan catches another question, "Is she a beast in the gym like Hongseok says?" He breaks into a laugh. He then rubs his cheek and grits his teeth.

A clip of someone saying, "Oh he's jealous," flashes on screen.

"Yeah," Chan finally says, "she's got a really high stamina."

Cue the clip, WHAT DID HE SAY?

Chan continues, "she can go between exercises without stopping. she doesn't even take that much time to catch her breath. In fact, she sings while exercising sometimes, which helps make her vocals stable."

Captioned: Queen Tingz.

The next thing that happens is Chan breaks into a laugh and begins to chuckle. He says, "Sorry I saw a funny comment."

Captioned: WHAT HE MEANS IS HE SAW A COMMENT SAYING 'SHUT UP CHRIS, YOU'RE WHIPPED."

Then came these comments:

LITERALLY LOOK AT HOW FLUFFY BANG CHAN GETS WHEN HE TALKS ABOUT HER DONT FUCKING TOUCH ME MY SHIP IS ALIVE

They are dating period. prove me wrong. you cant

Chan literally blushes over anything, buT HE TURNED INTO A TOMATO WHEN HE TALKED ABOUT HER BYE

if you hate on your faves loving each other, you most definitely need Jesus (:

PLEASE CAN YOU SEE HOW WHIPPED THEY ARE FOR EACH OTHER

Yeah... it's not been confirmed to this day.

[cjjohansson]

NONE OF THIS WAS MEANT TO HAPPEN- PART 2

NATASHA ROMANOFF x BLACKWIDOW!READER

SUMMARY; After being apprehended by the Avengers and growing closer to Natasha, you let slip a secret she didn't know you knew. What happens when she realises you know the truth?

WARNINGS; mentions of abuse, swearing, previous suicide attempt, self harm, self doubt, mental health, smoking, drinking. sad natasha.

-PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION-

WORD COUNT; 4.5K

-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-

“So you’re telling me Yelena lied?”

Natasha didn’t expect this. She hadn't heard that name for a while now, not since destroying the Red Room herself with the help from her but since then nothing but radio silence. She thought Yelena was too busy still trying to free other widows but she knew from finding you and helping you Yelena hadn't finished her mission yet. But she was confused at how you knew Yelena and still had her in your mind even through the torture of the mind control and manipulating you had experienced. She continued staring at you, she didn't know what to do or say to you.

“So was she lying or not Natasha?” your voice came through her ears making her refocus. Your voice sounded desperate to know the truth, you needed to know the truth.

“I don't know what you’re talking about y/n.” Nat knew she should tell the truth, why was she still hiding this part of her past from you, no one knew about the help she had received when destroying the red room but no one knew her as well as you. Only knowing each other for this short amount of time you both opened up in different ways, it was freeing for Natasha to see someone who went through the same pain as she did and it helped guide her in helping you. Knowing if she could help you it’d help herself, she still saw all the red in her ledger but she was determined to wipe it in hopes she could help you wipe yours. She knew how you felt about the terrible things you did under control and for all the years up until now. She knew you shared the same pain. Apart from you only had Natasha. Slowly growing more open with the team but Natasha had you AND the team, the team she had grown so close with over the years to now finally call her family. But still the lie fell from her lips like it was a simple song.

“You’re lying, I know you're lying and I don't understand why it's me Natasha!” your voice only grew louder the more frustrated you got.

“I still remember holding Yelena the day you managed to escape the Red Room, I remember her crying and having to keep her quiet at night so no one saw her and thought she was weak! She constantly fell asleep holding the only memory she had left of you. But it all stopped months after I was taken from her in my sleep being transferred to a new location! I remember mouthing to her ‘it’ll be ok, we will find eachother again’ but after that nothing. I cannot even remember how long ago that was now Natasha, the years after being put through the mind control barely anything feels real. It was all confusing at the time trying to work out who this girl was that I kept seeing in my dreams and anytime I asked them it would only end in a beating. I knew not to ask anymore. But I remember being sent on this mission to kill you Natasha! I remember after I finally woke up again and saw your face that this person in front of me will help because my friend never gave up hope in you! It was like all I could see was Yelena and this random blue haired girl!”

“I'm not lying. I don't know who or what you're talking about!” another lie, slipping past her lips like it was nothing. Her lies only fueled you with more anger and frustration. Her face just stayed staring at you like she was trying to burn the lie into your head. You thought you knew her, but the person who was standing in front of you now lying was most definitely not the same person you shared a kiss with only moments ago.

“You said I could trust you Natasha. You might be able to get away with lying to the team but you're forgetting we were taught to lie by the same people. I can see straight through you.” your voice hit back at her laced with venom, she could see the disappointment in your eyes. You slowly turned to leave, you couldn't stand here with her right now knowing she was lying. How could she lie to you after everything she has helped you with over the last few months. You thought you loved her, you thought she might have loved you. You got off the bed and walked towards the door, you couldn't be here right now.

“Y/n/n wait.” she grabbed your wrist, stopping you from reaching the door, the same wrist that was littered in a big scar from the time you woke up. Her touch burnt, all she received from you was a flinch and you pulling your wrist from her touch.

“Don't you dare fucking touch me Natalia! Only moments ago I thought I finally had someone I could trust, someone who would keep me safe. But now all I see is the Black fucking Widow stood infront of me. So no Natalia, I won't wait. I won't stand here while you lie to me straight through your teeth. I wont stand here while you tell me you don't know who or what i’m talking about when I held that some person for months through her fucking tears because her so called sister left without her! I picked up the pieces you fucking ruined and now you expect me to stand here and think that you're telling me the truth and Yelena lied all those years? You expect me to think the voice in my head the day I woke up after I slit my wrist wide open telling me to trust you is fucking lying? Because if it was lying I wish, I fucking wish I let myself bleed out right then and there.” You knew you hit her then, like your voice was so loud filling the room like it was pounding in her ears. She knew you were right that it wasn’t her standing in front of you but was the Black Widow trying to manipulate her targets for information. Before she could even reply, the sound of the door slamming brought her back to focus. She quickly wiped her cheek as she felt the tears slowly falling from her eyes, not even remembering when she had started crying. Why did she lie? Why did she ruin the chances of you? Ruining your trust like it didn't take so much time to try and gain it? What had she done? Her and Yelena were ok now, they had worked on their differences and she had apologised for what had happened all the years ago but why wouldn't she tell you that? She knew Yelena held a grudge and hated her for leaving without her when they finally saw each other again but that wasn't the case now. Everything was different now and the main difference was Natasha finally realising that maybe she was falling for you and she had ruined all her chances in that becoming a reality. She needed to give you space, she knew that if she was to chase you now it would only make you more angry, she knew she needed to figure out how to talk to you and explain why she had done what she had done, until then she couldn't risk seeing you.

-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-

It had been a week since your argument with Natasha. Nothing made sense to you. It was driving you crazy at how she lied to you like you were nothing to her, like you weren't the person she had spent nights laughing with over stupid movies and also crying too when talking about each other's pasts. You had only slept once since then, a few hours after your argument, you had finally made your way back to your room knowing she would have left. You felt exhausted, only moments before your argument you had woken up from a terrible nightmare to then being in the comfort of her arms, to then kissing her to then shouting. It was like the only thing your body wanted to do was sleep right then and there. When you woke up hours later looking at your clock did you see the time read 4am, you had slept for 12 hours and by that point you understood why.

-flashback-

You steadily got out of your bed still feeling disgusted from being in your gym clothes from the day before everything happened, you made your way to the shower knowing you needed to rid all this grime off of yourself. You stood still in the shower letting the water fall off your shoulders like it was the first time you had ever seen water before it felt relaxing. Letting yourself get lost in the feeling of it but still your mind grew to the thought of what it would be like if Natasha was standing behind you right now washing your hair, touching you so delicately like you could break from any sudden movement. It felt too overwhelming. You crumbled to your knees like your body could no longer hold your weight anymore, your tears getting lost within the water that was over your face. It felt like you couldn't breathe, you were trapped in a place with nobody you could trust. Your mind grew dark so quickly, like the only way to get out of this place was to reopen that wrist but she still lingered in your mind, the thought of her finding you on this shower floor was breaking you even more. Why were you still feeling this sympathy for her after everything that had happened. You couldn't do this you needed to get rid of this feeling inside, it felt like your body was on fire, you felt scared and it was something you hadn't felt for a few months now, you had felt safe in her presence to now feeling as if you would leave this room and pass out, you needed it gone. You scrambled up from your feet in a hurry trying to find anything in your bathroom for a release, you remembered Natasha had made sure anything you could hurt yourself with had been removed from your pending room after your incident. There was nothing in here you could even butter bread with, it only made you feel more anger towards her. You stopped looking, taking a deep breath and staring at yourself in the mirror, wiping your hand over the mirror to see yourself clearer due to the fog clinging to it. And that's when you realised this would do. Bringing your clenched fist up to pound into the mirror sending shards flying everywhere, thank god for your enhancements you thought, that brought a light chuckle out of you. Frantically picking a big enough shard off the floor and moving yourself to sit on the toilet you knew this would help. Blood came seeping out of each cut, dripping down your leg and running onto the floor, you knew you'd done enough. The pain you felt inside had felt like it had disappeared more and more after every cut. You moved back into the shower preparing yourself for the sharp stings of pain that would soon follow, washing yourself quickly and exiting your bathroom, closing the door and leaving it shut. You knew you’d had to clean up later but for now you dragged yourself back to your bed in hopes to sleep more even though you knew you wouldn’t.

-end flashback-

You sat on the balcony of the compound still trying to work out how and why this had happened, you hadn't seen her for a week, you knew people had grown suspicious as to why you weren't joint at her hip and instead was constantly wrapped in a blanket on the balcony. The only person to come over and talk to you was Wanda, you would never say much. Only asking her if she could get you some cigarettes from the shop and some vodka, you knew if she said no you could always just ask FRIDAY to get some delivered, but she always came back hours later with the two things you'd asked her for, you always sent her the softest smile with a quiet thank you and she would leave after that. You wondered if she knew she was feeding into your new addictions and a way to stop the pain coming forward. You wondered if you were taking advantage of her but still you never wondered to ask.

-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-

You brought the cigarette up to your lips lighting it quickly, the feeling burning your throat and lungs as you slowly inhale the toxic chemicals it gives out, you had never smoked before this whole thing with Natasha, it wasn't until you had seen someone smoking in a movie did you grow curious of whole thing but now look, it was like you was a natural. Cigarette in one hand, half a bottle of vodka in the other, that is all you've done all week. You only moved from this spot to go to the toilet, not even bothering with food. It wasn't healthy and you knew that, you also knew this was a pathetic way of coping from everything with Natasha but it was helping.

A small cough is what brought you out of your train of thoughts, you looked up towards the door seeing her standing there. You hated how the first thing you thought was how beautiful she looked with the moonlight shining in just the right way. It made her eyes even more beautiful than they already were, you threw your head back to look at the trees across from you, no you needed to be angry at her.

“Smoking isn’t good for you, you know.” you wanted to chuckle at her but the hurt seeping through your veins was too much to deal with, gulping down the growing lump in your throat you continued smoking while staring. She sighed moving to sit opposite you so she constricted your view. You now sit facing her staring into her beautiful emerald orbs hoping the tears don't start to fall.

“I’m sorry” watching her slowly lowering her head after her words, her hands running through her hair, you're sure you heard a slight sniffle but you continued to stare, not caring to reply.

“Please say something, anything” she sounded so vulnerable, so small but you needed an explanation not just an apology. You go to speak but your tears are already threatening to fall so you turn your head to the side gulping down some vodka to ignore the pain.

“I'm not good at apologising, I'm even worse at talking about my past. I did lie. But I shouldn't have. I lied because I didn't want to remember what I did to her back then, the things I did in general back then.” you finally turned to look at her again slowly nodding for her to continue.

“Me and Yelena, we…errrr...we had a mission when we were young. Acting as sisters with two other agents as our parents. It was nice, you know, acting normal. I went from being in the Red Room, to a normal life. To then just be taken back away again. But it was different for her, I tried to not let them take her, she was too young, but like they said, I was younger…” she stayed staring down at her feet, you could tell it was a lot for her to be doing this, you were thankful she was opening up telling you the truth but you could see her discomfort seeping through. Holding out the bottle of vodka for her to take she brought her head up slowly looking at you and then to the bottle. She let out a light chuckle moving to accept the bottle from you and taking a drink. She gave it back, wiping the few tears that had escaped, you thought she was done talking until she sighed and carried on.

“I held her as they took us to the Red Room again, well me again, not her. It was terrifying. I just held her trying to shield her from seeing anything and everything, she just clung to me, sobbing. We were so young and I knew what was going to happen to her and there was nothing more I could do. I knew as soon as we were there she'd be taken from me and I'd never see her again. But I did see her, of course you know I did. It was quick stares walking past each other or it was me looking for her subtly when we would be eating, I couldn't protect her anymore. We could only protect ourselves. Any signs of love, affection or even friendship were frowned upon. How could I comfort her or look after her when everything I wanted to do I would have been punished for? That would have scared her even more. So I kept to myself.”

You didn't know how to react or what to do, the woman who was so continuously strong no matter what was thrown at her was sitting in front of you sobbing, it broke your heart and you knew it was breaking hers.

“Tasha, it's ok. Please.” you couldn't watch her cry anymore but you knew there was so much more she needed to say.

“No, y/n I...I need to do this.” you gave her a small nod, urging her to continue as you swallowed your own tears.

“She got out about 7 months ago too. Things happened and well me, her and our parents, Alexei and Melina. We took down Dreykov, we took down the main Red Room. I found out about all of these other widows that were placed all around the world being controlled. Yelena had this antidote that managed to break widows out of mind control, she found out the hard way what it was but we managed to save the widows that were at that Red Room. We only had one dose left, so with the help from Melina and Alexei they created more so they could go and save all the girls that were left. When you showed up I knew that clearly she hadn't finished the whole mission yet but I knew that 4 months wasn't a lot of time to do that hence why she hadn't reached you yet. I hadn't been in contact with any of them since then, I tried to get in touch but I never received anything back even up until two weeks ago.” she had stopped crying now, she looked more comfortable talking, it released this ache in your heart knowing she was becoming ok. You just wanted to hug her, so you did. You moved quickly, cigarettes and bottle of vodka long forgotten about and settled on her lap. She tensed slightly when you first sat down but soon enough you felt her relax, you just couldn't stop looking at her. Her eyes glassy from the tears she had shed, the light smell of the vodka she had drunk coming out from her lips as she breathed slowly. You just forgot everything that had happened in the past week. You cupped her face making sure all of her attention was on you, leaning in slowly to finally connect your lips in a gentle kiss. You finally moved away when you felt tears dripping down your cheeks, not evening knowing if they were yours or hers. Her hand came to settle on your cheek wiping away the tears that had fallen, the smallest of a smile on her face.

“I went to find them this week.” her words shocking you, making you shake your head confused. She laughed lightly at your reaction.

“Arguing with you just made me realise that I had no clue what was going on, I just left them with this information and took off, so I went to Melinas where I knew one of them would be and saw them there. That's why I had been gone all week.”

You felt relief when something rolled through you, although all this week you had been trying to avoid her, every time you moved from the balcony to the toilets you hoped she would pop out of nowhere. It wasn't until the third day you thought she was actively trying to avoid you too, it's what made you grow more angry. Thinking she just upped and left without a word but you now knew she didn't and suddenly all this anger and pain you felt towards her through the week was gone off your shoulders, but you now hated yourself for the way you reacted, the way you screamed and shouted at her for lying when now you understood why she done what she done out of fear of remembering. You hated yourself for the way you threw yourself into hurting yourself along with smoking and drinking. The guilt settled in your chest, it felt like it was too much to handle once again and you couldn't stop the tears from crashing down, a painful sob falling out of you as you suddenly felt like you could feel your thighs starting to tear and bleed again, like you could feel your throat burning from the bottles of vodka you had consumed and your lungs feeling as if they were suffocating from all the cigarettes you managed to smoke in such a short time.

Natasha reacted quickly, holding you tighter as you tucked yourself into the crook of her neck, a death grip on the back of her shirt as if, if you were to let go, this would all be a dream and she would disappear.

“Hey, hey, hey. Shhh it's ok, you're ok, I’m ok. We are ok. I'm here. I'm sorry for what happened and I'm sorry for leaving without explaining. I'm just so sorry.” her words were meant to be comforting but it only made you sob more.

“The things I did when you were gone Tasha, I overreacted. I'm sorry for everything I said that day of our argument. I understand everything now I do and I'm so grateful for you telling me and I'm so happy Yelena is safe. I'm so sorry. I’m so, so, so sorry.” your voice muffled as you sobbed into her neck only made her grow nervous. No one had said anything about you all week when she called to check in on everyone.

“y/n, what happened?” She spoke so softly, one hand stroking small circles at the bottom of your back and the other hand moving to the side of your hair to move your head up so you were looking at her. It made the words you were trying to say even harder seeing how much her eyes showed her concern and worry.

“M...my...my bathroom, I...I...I ruined it, haven't been in my room since you left. I've stayed out here just smoking and drinking Tasha. I felt so angry and hurt and I hate what I did because now I understand why and what happened and I just overreacted so much and all I've done is cause myself pain and I know you don't want to know or even think that but I have. I hurt myself Tasha, I broke my mirror to do it, gosh thats so fucking stupid and it was only the one time and that doesn't make that ok I know that but it hurts so much. I feel like I'm suffocating, this guilt is too much. You've come back to explain and now here I sit crying and making it sound like everything I did this week was your fault but it wasn't. I'm sorry.” you rambled on continuing to sob, her eyes now just looked so sad, it broke you but you couldn't stop the ‘I’m sorrys’ from falling off your lips but she still stayed stroking your back, leaning your foreheads together telling you over and over that it was ok and she forgave you.

Your sobs finally slowly subsided, the exhaustion finally settling in after the week that had gone by so slowly, it consumed you. But Natasha never let up her continuous flow of ‘its oks’ and never failed to tell you ‘I’m here’ until you finally settled in silence. The silence felt comfortable between you, even though the past hour or maybe even longer held so much pain for the both of you. Your grib finally loosens on her t-shirt, moving to sit up straight to look at her.

“Я люблю вас” she blurts out in a hurry, you stayed staring at her in shock. You made no move to reply or even hug her or kiss her, it made her grow nervous. You felt her tense underneath you straight after it came flying out of her mouth.

“It's fine, you don’t need to...umpth” you cut her off short pulling her into an intense kiss, moving to straddle her lap, she moaned softly into you, making you melt. Even through the gentleness it still felt so rough and aggressive, neither of you pulling away until air became a problem.

“я люблю тебя больше моя Наталья”

-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-ⴵ-⧗-

The night seemed to flow so much more calmly after your late night confessions. You both moved to Natashas suite in hopes of getting some more privacy. Your night consisted of movies playing in the background as you both consumed each other with so much love and affection. You knew for sure that no one could ever love you or care for you the way this woman could. It overfilled your heart with so much joy, that even after these years where she was in pain and she blamed herself and the word for everything that had happened to her, that she could still love and feel so deeply. How she could still love you with so much passion in such a short amount of time, when you both grew up being told that it would make you vulnerable and that it was for children.

You knew the way you grew up was terrible and traumatic but in this moment, laying in Natashas arms sharing the smallest of kisses, giggles erupting from both of you, kind words whispered as if anything louder would ruin the moment, you were somewhat grateful that somehow no matter where this life was suppose to take you or what was meant to happen with you, you had never been so happy to have failed your mission against Natasha Romanoff, because right now who knows where you would be or what you was doing. You managed to be so lucky that this woman still accepted you with open arms and made herself vulnerable and somewhere fall in love with you that nothing from your past mattered in this moment. All that mattered was the love you were sharing and the love you can only hope to continue to share into the future.

Maybe ‘None Of This Was Meant To Happen’ but god was you so incredibly happy that it did.

[chaoticevilbean]

An (Un)Official List Of Things Only Anakin Skywalker Can Do

Originally written by Ayala Secura

Blow people up with his mind on accident

Anakin expressed concern over his lack of emotional control. He gave many examples of normal problems that can arise from this. He then casually added one that is not common, usual, or even plausible for known Jedi. From his recollection, he would often cause beings who enraged him to spontaneously and violently combust.

I did my best to reassure him that such things were considered unusual, but weren't reason for him to be fearful. At the time, I simply didn't wish to increase his worries. I did maintain that the exploding of beings is very bad, and that he should work on finding ways to productively release such strong emotions.

I apologize here for the "renovation" of the hangar. (Secura)

Hear as far as the length of the Temple (without meditation)

Amendment: Hear as far as the diameter of Coruscant (without meditation)

Anakin once again was expressing concerns over his lack of control. He also complained that it was causing him headaches. Upon my questioning, he explained that he could hear the younglings playing on the other side of the Temple. I tested this by having us stand on either end of the longest part of the Temple we could reach. I asked if he could hear me (without a comm) and he responded that he could (using a comm).

Later, when he was still within the Temple, I found myself on a mission with my Master. It was not a very rushed assignment, and I began humming. Upon my return to the Temple, Anakin asked me if I knew what song it was, humming the exact tune I had. Apparently, he had been walking with his own Master and had heard me, though he hadn't been focusing enough to identify what he was doing. (Secura)

Smell differences within water despite being a non-variant Human

Smell differences within air despite being a non-variant Human

He accompanied me to the Room of a Thousand Fountains. It was a normal walk through the gardens, until we came across one of the smaller ponds. He commented that someone had cleaned it recently. When I asked how he knew, he explained that it smelled different.

He and I were sitting within his quarters. We were simply chatting when he complained that someone had messed with the ventilation without alerting him or Knight Kenobi. He could smell the air was slightly different than before. As he put it, the smell wasn't the problem, but the lack of communication was.

Both instances, he couldn't elaborate on what exactly the smells were, nor how he knew what each one meant. He simply knows these things. When tested with some other Padawans, the only ones that came close to knowing such things were Nautolans, out of a base group of 15 species. The experiment is listed in the Archives as Liquid and Gaseous Change Detection. (Secura)

Eat death sticks without consequence

Both of our Masters brought us to the lower levels in order to fulfill a mission. Anakin and I were left in a corner booth, with instructions to remain there and cause a commotion if someone attempted to harm or harrass us.

I looked away for TEN SECONDS. Ten seconds, and he was being offered a death stick by a clearly intoxicated individual who had no sense of what should and shouldn't be given to a barely ten-cycle-old. Anakin had no experience with such things. He had no idea what he was being given, and managed to get instructions to pour the liquid into his fizzyglug within the fleeting moment I was not paying attention.

He consumed it, chugging the liquid when I attempted to order him to stop, and then take it from him when he didn't listen. The individual who gave him the death stick had the sense to begin to panic, finally realizing Anakin's youth. However, Anakin finished off every drop with nothing but a smile. I got our Masters attention, but even after taking him to the nearest medcenter and runnign multiple scans, there were no signs of any harm. I have received significant therapy for that event, and Anakin has since been informed to not take anything from strangers. (Secura)

Generate electricity on levels that a (non-variant) Human cannot perform (without a health declination)

He was making his hair do that weird static thing that Human hair does every time he got excited. He also kept causing screens and pads to glitch or turn off whenever he picked them up while in a similar state. A solution of temporary insulating gloves and frequent reminders helped him gain control. (Secura)

Communicate words through the Force with minimal bonding

Amendment: No bonding is necessary for this form of communication, and is possible within the expanse of the Temple

Amendment: Communication is possible over most distances

He asked me if Aayla was available to study (with the Force) because his mouth was full and he'd already been told off that day. (Vos)

Skywalker told me that my Padawan was experiencing a panic attack from across the Temple. No bond existed between us before or after the interaction. (Fisto)

Skywalker informed me of a mission delay over several systems. He explained later that he was attempting to prevent his Master's worry about informing the Council and knew I would inform the other members for Kenobi. (Windu)

Consume raw meat (without a health declination) despite being a non-variant Human

Nervous to eat lunch alone, he was. Asked to eat together, I did. Showed him the kitchens, I did. Ate five live frogs, he did. Proud, I am. (Yoda)

I handed him a rodent I had found within my quarters, asking him to hold it so I could call someone. I was going to call a being who could help me prevent further instances and get rid of this rodent. I needn't have worried about relocating or disposing of the creature, though. I remember hearing a loud squeal, then turning to find Skywalker trying to tear away the fur of the rodent. He had no notion that it was an unusual habit for a Human. (Ti)

Jump into the Temple vents without using the walls

Amendment: Without using any aid

Amendment: Jump in/out of the Temple vents and on/off obstacles of similar height without any aid whatsoever

He's proved this multiple times over various training excercises, and occasionally his attempts to avoid said excercises. There's footage of it from the Temple's cameras. He has no regard for safety when it comes to jumping off of ledges, cliffs, or roofs/out windows. Caution advisory does nothing. (Kenobi)

Send emotions through the Force without a bond

Amendment: Send emotions without a bond, over great distances, with extreme precision and without any meditation or prior preparation - such emotions will likely be magnified upon reception, and can cause fainting, among other symptoms

Upon the death of notable Jedi Master Pak'll Tiffn, I had decided to participate in their culture's traditional week-long mourning practices. Near the end of this, young Skywalker asked me why I seemed so "down". I explained my grief at the death of Master Tiffn, and he continued to question me on the cause of my "distress". When he discovered I had technically finished the practices an hour before, he sent such a strong wave of excitement to me that I found it hard to not smile for the following three days.

I also found myself wishing to work on starfighter engines, which I attribute to the excitement being of Skywalker's creation. (Tiin)

I had a migraine while on a mission. Skywalker sent me a wave of comfort that caused me to pass out. He has since been informed that he should not interact with Jedi in the field unless he is certain they are in a safe enough position to do so. (Windu)

Accidentally cause plants to grow at a visibly accelerated rate

Anakin fell asleep in the Room of a Thousand Fountains while attempting to meditate. Upon my arrival, I found the grass already past my knees in height, and several nearby shrubs beginning to flower. I write my apologies here to the caretakers of the Room, and express my gratitude that none of you commented on it. (Kenobi)

Accidental levitation whilst walking

Amendment: Accidental levitation whilst walking, running, and other movement in which one is not standing/sitting/lying in a singular place

Witnessed during sparring practice with Master Kit Fisto and Master Ki-Adi Mundi

Bypass shielding enough to receive a clear perception of a being's emotions

I was working through some guilt over a recent mission and the requirements to fulfill it. Anakin walked over and did his best to comfort me without any understanding of why I was feeling that way, but knowing exactly what I was feeling. Throughout our entire interaction, my shields remained firmly in place, and strong enough that he really shouldn't have been able to even know where I was.

Oh yeah. He came from across the Temple to find me. He bypassed my shielding from across the Temple, without realizing his actions, and did so with better precision than a fully trained Master. (Vos)

Carry items of any weight without strain from channeling

According to Skywalker, the only trouble he has with lifting all the furniture in his quarters is he has to focus on the act while also looking for his missing holopad. (Koon)

(regarding previous entry) Reminds me of the time he lifted all the ships in Hangar 6 in order to find a single wrench, which was in somehow within the vents. (Billaba)

Cause a building-wide power outage from a nightmare/vision

Incident recorded as Padawan-induced. (Nu)

Bite through beskar when curious

Taste the strength of metals

Skywalker is no longer allowed in the forges without someone actively supervising him and him alone. He saw a piece of beskar I had managed to aquire. He was curious about the ore, due to it being unknown to him. I caught him with it in his mouth like some youngling sneaking a cookie. Apparently it tasted really strong. I thought he meant the taste was pungent, until he said that even durasteel didn't taste as strong. (Ria)

Heal minor personal wounds immediately, within a few seconds and without discernible energy usage

Heal major personal wounds immediately, up to halving recovery time and with lessened energy usage

Incidents recorded in mission reports including Skywalker (Nu)

Accidentally mind trick crowds of 20 or more

Amendment: Untested limit of how many can be affected, although the effectiveness of the tricks varies between individuals, and can reach up to 50 beings (recorded)

Note to all those who may serve a diplomatic mission with Skywalker: he can safely diffuse mobs, protests, and other upset crowds. He will need time to calm his own emotions afterwards, as it is (theoretically) his increasing anxiety that causes such effects. (Fisto)

Learn a language after hearing it only once

Amendment: Anakin will not know this is happening. He will simply begin to speak the language back at whoever spoke it to him.

Incidents recorded in mission reports including Skywalker (Nu)

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All Jedi are now welcome to add to the (Un)Official List of Things Only Anakin Skywalker Can Do. All editors are asked to put some form of a source, even if such source is simply a page-long rant about Padawan Skywalker's habit of not checking if a substance should be poisonous to him (condolences to Knight Vos).

Please also include some sort of identifier to connect each edit to the being(s) who created them.

Sincerest gratitude and condolences to all Jedi who find themselves editing this file. (Secura)