#i cant afford to focus in more than three at the same time

[cepheusgalaxy]

The OC Masterpost (2.0)

A while ago, someone asked who were my ocs, so I made a big post introducing them. Since then, the post became outdated so i decided to make a new one. They are separated by wip.

main wips

1. Ein

2. Meine

3. Totsuka e Jandir (updated with Jandir's new name!)

secondary wips

4. Trisaster

5. Snow White

6. Little Red Riding Hood Cyberpunk

7. The War Of The Human Throne (now with picrews!)

8. Unchosen One

9. Across Time and Odds

10. 9 Gates of Hell

11. The Witch's Paladin

12. Rumplestiltskin's Child

coming out eventually

13. Clou & Venera

14. Elysium

15. Gate

16. Rosered

wipless ocs (they need a whole other post)

Petrichor - (he/him/it) Witch guy in witch uni. He is a stoic and playful dumbass who thinks he's funny (x <- link to his design sheet)

Jake Valentine - (he/him) You will never hear about him from me but here he is

Gesse Valerie - (they/them) Jake's fuckbuddy

Michael Mia - (he/they/any) Ask me about him ask me about him

Yohann - (he/him) He's just a little guy, really

links:

OC Gallery [to be made] - Old OC Masterpost - WIP Intro [to be made] - My Silly Selfsonas Intro [to be made] - OC Trivia Bingo (original ask game) [to be made]

Feel free to ask me about any of them! ^^ I love talking about my ocs, and I also have a bunch of ask games saved you can pick an ask from.

[nocturnalfungi]

I think the aesthetic culture is overrated. Like I love the whole dark academia stuff but I'm just a teenage girl after all and I cant afford all the pretty vintage clothes and I can't make my room look like an antique store. I can't even afford mary janes.

I wish we could care less about the looks and all the expensive stuff and focus on the actual academia spirit.

I love reading, I enjoy reading more than any human interaction, actually but do I really have to read the secret history to fit in (i love that book by the way but you just know what i mean) ? We can still go to a bookstore or to the local library and grab a random book that we never heard about before, maybe only because the title is interesting or the cover is pretty, and we can still romanticise reading it.

I'm writing some poetry using a cheap pencil, laying on my bed, it is bad, i suck at rhyming but it is mine, i love it anyway. It doesnt have to be epic or gut wrenching. Its about something that means a lot to me so its worthy.

I started noticing how the aesthetic culture ruined my perspective of reality, how it made my expectations about life impossible. Not everything has to be pretty and flawless, and they still deserve to be loved.

I wanted to keep journals for a long time but whenever i started one, i just gave up because it never looked as good as a journal on pinterest. Now that i noticed how wrong i was, im keeping three journals. One of them is a pocket journal. Its not exactly like a diary, its more of messy ideas and quotes written down. I carry it in my pocket everywhere.

The other one is my book journal and i write my reviews about the books i read or sometimes even small essays.

The last one is a film journal and i write my film reviews in it. Its nothing professional but it made me realise that my thoughts and ideas are worthy. I mean no one's gonna sit and read my review about how Carmilla movie sucked but it was actually good at the same time, but its important for me so its worth being written down.

Thats all i wanted to say, we dont have to collect antiques to fit in the aesthetic, some thrift trinkets are also fine. The book that is gonna change your life might not be if we were villains but it might be some book you found on a random shelf in the library. Dead poets society is a great film but you might like mädchen in uniform better, who knows.

[gaysonlyocean]

can we hear anything about elaine or any character you feel like talking about :3

yeah!! gonna talk about her relationships with some of the others characters :]

as i mentioned, her relationship with her dad isnt very good, when she was younger she tried to get him out of the downward spiral but nothing she did seemed to work and now shes too tired and drained to care anymore, they dont really talk despite living in the same house, she also has a lot of resentment built up because she feels like she wasnt given the chance to grieve her mother cause she had to focus on him instead

her and sasha have been a couple for three years and at first they had a really good honeymoon period! they genuinely loved eachother and they were cute together, but then things kept happening, sasha had to drop out to care for his parents so they didnt see eachother as much, elaine got more focused on trying to get good enough grades to get out of here, and the real kicker was when sasha missed elaines graduation cause his dad had a really bad flare up, she understands that he needs to be there for them but it really made it clear that theyve not been on the same path for a long time, she just doesnt want to admit it outloud

she still gets along well with madeleine! she just feels like a bit of a inconvenience, madeleines family are better off than her own but shes seen how they cant afford to fix up their house and when she spends more time there than in her own house then she cant help but feel like shes adding to the strain, and just like sasha shes got a bit of jealousy for madeleine, why do ey get to have a good family life when shes stuck with this? she doesnt talk to em about this, knowing thats not fair and eyve done so much for her what right does she have to complain, the two of them have had a lot of conversations about what shes actually gonna do when she gets out of here cause madeleines very outwardly supportive of it, theyve both promised that eventually theyll move into a apartment in a city somewhere and be roommates but elaine knows that probably wont happen now

[joyseuphoria]

She hated how much she liked him now

Thank you sooo much for the prompt!!!

The “him” in the prompts are replaced with “her” since this is a fem!jily fic!!! I had too many ideas for this fic...maybe I’ll write some of the rest in the future, but here you go!

You can read it here or on ao3

THE CURLY SQUAD

(Tuesday 16:00)

Sirius Black: moony and the rest of you pay up

Marlene Mckinnon: why should we pay u?

Remus Lupin: u still owe me 20 btw so i dont think i will

Sirius Black: ofc ppl like u wouldnt know smh

jamie finally asked lily on a date

Peter Pettigrew: Wait what

Marlene McKinnon: afsjtksjdggehej

when 

how 

tell me everything 

Sirius Black: well little prongsie finally sucked up and asked ickle lilykins on date

voila 

Marlene McKinnon: give me the details black

or i s2g ill kick u out of the group 

Sirius Black: empty threats

if u really wanna know u can go ask em

(Marlene McKinnon has removed Sirius Black from the group chat)

Peter Pettigrew: Remind me to not ever cross paths with Marlene 

_____________

THE CURLY SQUAD

(Tuesday 17:00)

Jamie Potter: good riddance 

thx marls 

Marlene McKinnon: got u covered hon

now spill 

Jamie Potter: i hv a date with lil on friday:)

Lily Evans: that she does;)

Marlene McKinnon: i demand details ppl

(Dorcas Meadows has removed Marlene McKinnon from the group chat)

Remus Lupin: wh did u do that for 

Dorcas Meadowes: She was being too nosy

I didn't like it

Jamie Potter:.........thx??

Dorcas Meadowes: Welcome sweetie

_________

THE CURLY SQUAD 

(Tuesday 17:34)

Mary Macdonald: wait what????!!!!!??!

__________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Wednesday 16:30)

Sirius Black: r v up for spying on them on fri?

Marlene Mckinnon: u kno it;)

Mary Macdonald: hell yeah

Peter Pettigrew: Yes! ofc

Remus Lupin: we should give them some privacy sirius

tho ik its a foreign concept to you

Dorcas Meadowes: Obviously

And of course I wanna spy on them

Remus Lupin: but still...yes

Sirius Black: ther is no privacy between  frnds

YAAY

Marlene Mckinnon: so v meet up at 4 outside the bistro next to three broomsticks 

Peter Pettigrew: Wait when’s their date and where?!??

Mary Macdonald: at 5 in 3 broomsticks pete cmon keep up

Remus Lupin: how did u know that?

Sirius Black: im her brother and both their best frnds its obvio that id be the first one to kno

Marlene Mckinnon: and im lilys best frnd too sirius 

Dorcas Meadows: You spied on them didnt you?

Sirius Black: v hv all the rights to spy on them

Mary Macdonald: wait i thought that i was lilys best frnd

Dorcas Meadowes: I can confidently say that it’s neither of you

I’m her best friend

Sirius Black: prove it

Marlene Mckinnon: yeah!

Dorcas Meadowes:  (sends an attachment)

Marlene Mckinnon: shit

Mary Macdonald: …...fair

___________

Private chat between Jamie Potter and Lily Evans 

(Thursday 19:45)

Jamie Potter: cant wait for our date tomorrow 

Lily Evans: ik u cant 

Jamie Potter: 

Lily Evans: <3

;)

______________

Private chat between Jamie Potter and Sirius Black 

(Thursday 19:48)

Jamie Potter: sirius sirius sirius 

lily just sent me a winky face emoticon!!!!

what do i do???!!!?!!!?!?!

(Message read at 19:49)

______________

Private chat between Jamie Potter and Lily Evans 

(Thursday 19:51)

Jamie Potter: :D

_______________

Private chat between Jamie Potter and Lily Evans 

(Friday 16:30)

Jamie Potter: u ready?

Lily Evans: yes ! 

wher r u

Jamie Potter: cool

just reached ur door

______________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Friday 16:30)

Sirius Black: where tf r u guys 

its only me and marlene here

Mary Macdonald: just outta class 

be there in 10

Remus Lupin: home

Peter Pettigrew: At the ice cream parlor for ice cream

Dorcas Meadows: Oh get me some too Pete?

Remus Lupin: me too pls pete

Mary Macdonald: oooh id like some too

mint chocolate chip for me pls

Peter Pettigrew: Sure thing! wh abt the rest of u??

Dorcas Meadowes : Strawberry! with a lot of strawberries as toppings!!!

Remus Lupin : devils choc ofc

Sirius Black : guys can v focus at the matter in hand??!!

also charcoal ice cream pls

just as black as my soul

Peter Pettigrew : ...k

U marls??

Marlene Mckinnon:..........vanilla. thx

____________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Friday 16:45)

Sirius Black: where tf r u guys?!!??!?

theyll b here any sec

Remus Lupin: sirius everyone is here

except for u and marlene

where tf r u guys?!!???

Marlene McKinnon: we r at the spirit store 

where tf r u guys????

Sirius Black: i told u guys to meet us here

Dorcas Meadowes: Wtf is a spirit store?

Sirius Black: a store that sees our spirit 

Peter Pettigrew: Ur ice creams starting to melt!!!!!!

Mary MacDonald: oh the halloween costume shop?

why?

Sirius Black: to dress up ofc

Marlene Mckinnon: honesty guys?

lily and jamie will recognise us if v go like this

and v cant afford that!!!!

Remus Lupin: that is smart….

didnt expect it from u both

Sirius Black: fuck you remus

fuck you

Dorcas Meadowes: So what are our disguises??

Marlene McKinnon: dog ears and nose 

a gily suit

a moon suit

rat whiskers and ears

a tree hat and glasses

and a big floppy hat and sunglasses for my beautiful girlfriend

Dorcas Meadowes: ………….

Peter Pettigrew: Dorcas and remus took ur ice cream btw

Something about it melting, u being stupid and u not being here

 Sirius Black: remy how could u

Marlene McKinnon: ffs dorcas 

i thought u loved me

Peter Pettigrew: Who’s wearing what costume?

Remus Lupin: also sirius 

do u really think that we can pull it off?

itd be tooo obvious 

Mary Macdonald: nd theyll realise that we r spying on them

Sirius Black: they couldnt even realise that they had a crush on each other until i intervened

do you think that theyll realise that its us???????

Remus Lupin: …...point

Sirius Black: so im wearing the dog ears and nose 

marls gonna wear the gily suit

the moon hat and the silver suit is for u remus 

Marlene Mckinnon: the rat whiskers r for peter 

and the tree hat and sunglasses r for mary :)

____________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Friday 16:55)

Sirius Black: ok now positions!

marlene mary and i r sitting in the booth behind the big fat hydrangea 

nd remus peter nd dorcas r gonna sit 2 rows behind them in the corner table outside

Peter Pettigrew: How do u even know where the r gonna sit?????!!!!!???

Marlene Mckinnon: v bribed the receptionist obviously

Sirius Black: she will make sure that they sit second in the row between the hydrangeas and the window 

Remus Lupin: how can v hear them if v r outside??

Marlene Mckinnon: oh hush remus 

ever heard of privacy?

Remus Lupin: wtf do u think we r doing rn??!!?!??!?!!

Dorcas Meadowes: Making sure the date goes perfectly?

Sirius Black: thank u dorcas

Mary Macdonald: yeah!

exactly 

Remus Lupin: …………

i give up 

Peter Pettigrew: Just now?

Thought u gave up when Jamie successfully insulted Lily two yers back when in fact she was supposed to ask her out on a date :/

Sirius Black: that was a good laugh

___________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Friday 17:04)

Peter Pettigrew: Ok they’re sitting rn 

Dorcas Meadowes: Don’t they look cute together

Remus Lupin: do i hv to wear this silvery rocky suit?!??!

Sirius Black: yes

and yes they look perfect 

our ship is finally sailing 

Dorcas Meadowes: Is is is Jamie stuffing a breadstick in her nose

Peter Pettigrew: No I think she’s trying to look like a walrus

Remus Lupin: she does not need to embarrass herself more

Mary Macdonald: u really think this is anything compared to the time when she tripped over her cat and fell on lilys bday cake?

Sirius Black: lolol

the bruise she left him with lasted for two weeks

Dorcas Meadowes: I stg that woman has the best boxing skills

Marlene Mckinnon: dorcas!!!! not me????

im ur girlfriend!!!

Mary Macdonald: lolololol

she thought that jamie did it on purpose for years lol

Marlene McKinnon: and why tf is lily doing the same

i thought she had more sense than that

Remus Lupin: love can do that to you ya know

Sirius Black: u would know

Marlene McKinnon: ohhh look jamie snorted the breadstick out of her mouth!!

neat

Mary Macdonald: lily did it too

Mary Macdonald: i think she has enough sense to not offend lily 

Remus Lupin: ya think?

u want me to remind u about all the times she offended lily?

Peter Pettigrew: Yeah so much that she hated Jamie

Sirius Black: nah she didnt 

if anything lily hates how much she likes her now

Marlene Mckinnon: do u think theyll order soup?

Sirius Black: yeah ig

jamie wants it to be all fancy

Marlene McKinnon: pls dont order tomato soup

Mary Macdonald: it awfully looked a lot like the waiter said no tomato soup

Peter Pettigrew: Really? Lily hates tomatoes why would Jamie order em

Thought she wouldn’t today

At least

Sirius Black: thank hell jamie didnt order the tomato one

Dorcas Meadowes: Remember when Jamie made marinara for Lily to impress her lol

Remus Lupin: that plan backfired soo bad 

Marlene Mckinnon at least lilys prank to get back at her was awesome

Sirius Black: that was such a power move!!!

and including taylor’s song

shehgeueytoaknd

Remus Lupin: tho she coloured her cat the so called emerald green and not key lime green and v had to listen to her go on and on abt how lily knows her fav colour 

Mary Macdonald: jamie continued to think that it meant that she knew it for three months

:/

Dorcas Meadowes: As if u didnt like it

Mary Macdonald: lol i did love it

Peter Pettigrew: They are bonkers 

Dorcas Meadowes: Bonkers for each other

Sirius Black: lol

Dorcas Meadowes: Their soup’s here

Sirius Black: spinach soup???

ewww jamie 

Peter Pettigrew: Ahh creamy mushroom soup for Lil ig

Awesome choice 

Mary Macdonald: they really ought to try new things

smh

___________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Friday 17:16)

Remus Lupin: wh did u guys order?

we ordered a lasagna 

Marlene Mckinnon:?uhh same 

ohhh look 

Peter Pettigrew: The waiter’s back with pasta for both of them YAY

Do you guys think that they realised that we are spying on them??

Marlene Mckinnon: nah they’re hopeless Pete so no

Sirius Black: thank hell that they r cute

Remus Lupin: lol

Dorcas Meadowes: 3 yrs ago I wouldnt have thought that they would be here together on a date

Mary Macdonald: hell they woulnt have even been here as friends 

Remus Lupin: or come here with us

Marlene Mckinnon: lily didnt even kno that she is bi then

Dorcas Meadowes: Yeah

It was quite a rough time for her

Peter Pettigrew: Guyssss

I have a question 

Dorcas Meadowes: Shoot Pete 

Peter Pettigrew: Why is the group name curly squad?

I mean only Dorcas’s hair is curly I only gathered that much

Dorcas Meadowes: Lol no Pete

Sirius Black: LOLOLOL

Marlene Mckinnon: lolll 

Dorcas Meadowes Ohk so

None of us here are just straight so we’re curly lol 

Sirius Black: lil nd i r bi

u r ace

dorcas nd mary r pans

remus is gay

jamie is lesbian 

Marlene Mckinnon: i am bi too 

u already knew that but still

Sirius Black: so yeah thats why 

Peter Pettigrew: Oh wow

Ok

Thanks guys 

Sirius Black: np pete 

Peter Pettigrew: Jamie just leaned over to brush the remnants of pasta from lilys lips!!!!!!!!

Mary Macdonald: thats soo cute they r perfect

Sirius Black: nauseating more like

Dorcas Meadowes: I’m just revelling in the fact that she didnt brush him off

Marlene Mckinnon: thats second year of uni lily

even first fits in the category 

Peter Pettigrew: and she held her hand!!!!!

Bold

Sirius Black: is that…...snep

Remus Lupin: snep?????

Dorcas Meadowes: Where

Sirius Black: behind u guys

Remus Lupin: OHHHH FUCK

Mary Macdonald: do u think that he knows abt their date

Sirius Black: well jamie did post it on her insta so…….

Dorcas Meadowes: Oh shit

Peter Pettigrew: Shit alright

Marlene Mckinnon: hes coming over ig

Mary Macdonald: yup hes in

Sirius Black: WHYYYYYY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME GOD

COULDNT YOU LET MY SHIP LIVE IN PEACE!!!!

Remus Lupin: well u know what they say abt cannons sinking a ship :/

Sirius Black: remus theodore lupin u dare say that jily lames is not cannon

Marlene Mckinnon: remus ralph lupin wtf

Dorcas Meadowes: Remy, how could you?

Peter Pettigrew: Why would you say that Remus?

Mary Macdonald: remus john lupin u take that back right this instant

oh we r playing call remus wrong names 

sry I didnt realise

 Remus Lupin: i am sry guys I ship jily as much as u do

Sirius Black: LAMES

Remus Lupin: but i had to lol

i think v should go stop him from disturbing them

Mary Macdonald: hes already headed their way

its too late

Marlene Mckinnon: i s2g i will punch snep today if he does anything to them

Sirius Black: ill tackle him 

Marlene McKinnon: perfect

Mary Macdonald: v might blow our cover too

not that im worried abt that

tho they might not appreciate the sentiment 

Sirius Black: v shld go

Dorcas Meadowes: I feel like they'll want to handle this themselves

But ok!

Mary Macdonald: ok he hates u and remus the most so dorcas and i should go first 

Sirius Black: but im their best friend

Dorcas Meadowes: Too late they’re already talking

Sirius Black: NOOOOOO

Remus Lupin: ig he just mentioned siris name

Sirius Black: seems that way

if he says anything abt jamie or reg i will lose it

Dorcas Meadowes: I think he’s berating lily for being out with jamie….

Mary Macdonald: ofc what else does the greasy slime ball know

Sirius Black: ok im gonna go

Peter Pettigrew: How to grease your hair 101??

Sirius Black: lol yes

Marlene Mckinnon: is he

is he pointing over to us

Mary Macdonald:k they r looking at us

Peter Pettigrew: Did Lily just call ur name out, guys?

Dorcas Meadowes: Mary, make sure Marls and Sirius don’t do anything stupid

_________

“Sirius, no!” Remus shouted, as the boy in question marched over to Jamie’s and Lily’s table. 

“Well, hello there snivellus. Looking positively greasy today aren’t we?” Sirius taunted. 

“What are you doing here Black?” Snape sneered. 

Sirius hummed before responding, “We just fancied a dinner here. What about you?”

“Looking for something to grease?” Marlene chimed. 

“Marlene,” Lily warned. 

“Thought I’d visit my friend Lily here. That’s all Black,” Snape answered. 

“More like crash her date,” Dorcas muttered, as she joined the group around Lily and Jamie’s table with Remus, Mary, and Peter.

“I am not your friend Snape.” Lily stood up, accompanied by Jamie.

“Lily!” The greasy haired man faced her pleadingly, “I care about you a lot. That’s why I’m telling you to not date Potter! Thinking that you’re bi may well just be a phase that’ll go away, Lily. Moreover, she doesn’t really care about you! She just thinks that you are some sort of prize to be won.” 

Jamie looked like she wanted to dislocate Snape’s jaw, her fists curled at her sides. But the warning glance Lily threw her, made her insides calm down 

“You know nothing about me Snape,” Lily said, with gritted teeth. “Now go away before I dislocate your nose.” Sirius whistled in support. 

“Lily, we’ve been best friends since we were ten. I know you, Lily. Please listen to me,”

“If you were my best friend you’d have supported me instead of behaving like an ignorant ass. Now please go away.”

“Lily, please.”

Barely a moment later, Lily’s fist connected with Snape’s nose. Blood leaked down his front, while the rest of the gang rushed to vocally support her. 

 “You’ll regret that Lily!” Snape glared threateningly. 

Before long, Sirius had tackled Snape to the ground, and accidentally splattered the lasagna the waiter was bringing over to their table, on Snape’s head. 

“I...“ Lily began.

“You can save your breath, Lils,” Sirius started, “he’s a harmless, entitled prick”

“Looks like you have a lot of grease to get rid of, Snep,” Marlene announced. 

“And Snep, pro tip: the only shampoo that keeps the grease at bay is the Sleakeasy shampoo. You should try it out!” Jamie, ever so helpful, advised, and moved to position her hand behind Lily’s back. 

“Sorry about that Sir, we’ll cover the charges for the ill-fated lasagna,” Sirius apologised to the waiter as he helped him up from the ground. 

“Could you please get him out of this shop? He’s been troubling us, as you can see,” Dorcas asked, politely. 

The waiter simply looked baffled. However, he nodded and successfully escorted Snape out of the restaurant. 

“Now this is going to be quite the first date story to tell at the wedding.” Peter spoke up for the first time since they gathered at the table between the hydrangeas and the windows. 

Jamie blushed and looked around, anywhere but at Lily, though her hand never left Lily’s back, while the redhead laughed at her.

“Well, since we’re all together, we can have dessert and you can continue spying on us while sitting at our table,” Lily said. “Nice ears you’ve got there, Sirius. Though I’d prefer Dorcas’s floppy hat.”

“Yeah! I personally love the whiskers, Pete. Seriously, Marlene? A gily suit? Inconspicuous much? And Remus, you have enough sense to stop them!” Jamie put on. 

Remus just shrugged, his big crescent shaped moon hat toppling Mary’s tree hat downwards. “Sorry,” he said, bending to pick it up. 

“Thanks,” she said, when he gave the hat to her, “why did we agree to wear these again?”

“So we would be incognito, Mary”

“And we were successful! These oblivious dorks didn’t even realise that it was us until old snivelly pointed it out,” Sirius stated.

“Also, we did have ice-cream before coming here, so you guys should continue, we’ll leave,” Dorcas said. 

“Hey! We didn’t get to eat that ice-cream! You and Remus took it from us,” Marlene reprimanded. 

“Yeah! So we’ll be staying here and you guys can shoo away,” Sirius included. 

“Well in that case you can all leave and get yourselves ice cream while Lily and I can finally enjoy our date,” Jamie, now pushing Sirius, and shoo-ing the others to the doors, said. 

“Say what you want Jamie, I am enjoying our date,” expressed Lily. 

“You are?” Jamie turned around, completely forgetting the others in the room. 

“Well, looks like they’re more nauseating and lame than before. Should we go?” Asked Marlene. 

“Nah. Let’s just sit outside and spy on them through the window,” Sirius smirked. 

[monkberries]

They dealt with all of the above. Ringo was treated as a joke for pretty much everything, especially since this was the era of prog rock. His personal life was also tabloid fodder. George was derided as being a dour spiritual nut who was out of touch. He along w/ Ringo didn't get the respect he deserved as a guitarist bc his style wasn't in at the time & people knew little about his role in The Beatles. All credit went to Lennon/McCartney. 1/2

John had the benefit of having the rebel genius image, but even he became a source of ridicule with all the stunts he pulled with Yoko and the way his career declined after Imagine. He wasn't deified to the degree he was in the 80s. I'm not trying to say Paul never had a hard time, but the way this fandom talks as if he is the only one who faced extreme criticism or disrespect just tells me they haven't looked much into the other Beatles' lives. The man is more admired than most musicians. 2/2

(IDK if this screenshotted anons were from the same person or not, but I’ll just answer them in this one since it’s all the same subject.)

Here’s what I think is valid, as I see it: Paul fans are upset by the way his music was treated by the music press, especially in the first few years of the 70s, while the music of the other three were generally given at least the benefit of the doubt. They’re not upset about the tabloid gossip, the purely personal stuff – they are upset, specifically and with good reason, at the way Paul’s music was treated and the way the music world’s personal dislike of him seeped into their music reviews. I’m gonna focus in on 1970 through the end of 1974, since this is where a lot of the complaints spawn from, and things start to shift in a big way in 74. You didn’t ask but contemporary writings about their early solo music is something I’m fascinated by anyway and you turned the wind-up toy key in my back, so. Off I go. This is gonna be so, so long.

At different points in the decade, all of them were subject to a sullying of their personal reputations. That is where I do agree with you: all of them were subjected to that by the press, to varying degrees, at varying times, and for various reasons for each of them. That is just what happens to public figures the longer they are public figures. Tabloids mess with everyone no matter how beloved they are. 

However, that’s not what I generally see Paul fans getting upset about. What I see is that they’re upset at the way the much more legitimate and widely respected music press approached Paul’s music and talent in general. It is widely received knowledge now that the critics treated Paul’s music differently than they did John’s and George’s and even Ringo’s; the trashing was not “equal.” They came at John and George with the assumption that their talent was real and ongoing outside of the Beatles, their genius unquestionable, their motives pure and well-intentioned and honest. Paul was not afforded these assumptions. Some examples to show what I mean, most of them found through wikipedia, rocksbackpages, or rollingstone.com.

John

Plastic Ono Band was Robert Christgau’s number one album of 1970 in The Village Voice. from Creem’s review: “John's record, of course, has been righteously raved over ever since its release, justifiably. It's interesting and even enlightening to see a man working out his trauma on black plastic but more than that, it's totally enthralling to see that Lennon has once again unified, to some degree, his life and his music into a truly whole statement.” From High Fidelity’s review: "a tremendously exciting listening experience, perhaps the best any Beatle has ever offered." In their Imagine review, Rolling Stone called POB “perfect.” A couple reviews in the mainstream were more mixed, put off a little by the rawness of it, but overall the rock world quickly grew to see this album as a work of genius.

Imagine was even more widely well-reviewed, despite a mixed review from Rolling Stone (John fell out with Jann Wenner around this time, curiously). Here’s a passage from rateyourmusic.com: “Imagine was actually one of the most critically acclaimed albums of the year, aside from this tepid review in Rolling Stone. Indeed, much of the rock press seemed palpably relieved that the former Beatle hadn't gone completely off the deep end. ‘It's the best album of the year, and for me it's the best album he's done, with anything, or with anyone, at any time,’ Roy Hollingworth wrote in the 10/9/71 issue of Melody Maker. ‘The album is superb,’ Alan Smith agreed in the 9/11/71 issue of NME. ‘Beautiful. One step away from the chill of his recent total self-revelation, and yet a giant leap towards commerciality without compromise...I have no criticism at all.’”

Some Time in New York City was admittedly John’s nadir, and the press was vicious about it, both personally and musically, deeming the album egotistical, lacking in energy, and devoid of sincerity. However, many maintained a reverence for the genius that came before it and hopeful encouragement for the future. Rolling Stone said that “The Lennons should be commended for their daring;” Creem said it wasn’t half bad; and even though NME’s article was scathing, it ended with a plea for John to return to form, saying, “Don't rely on cant and rigidity. Don't alienate. Stimulate. You know, like you used to.”

Mind Games, though reviews were mixed, fared far better in comparison. Again, there is a hopeful tone to the reviews, a sureness that John can do better. From Rolling Stone talks about the music being a return to POB form, but the writing is his worst yet; however, Landau qualifies this by saying the lyrics aren’t “offensive, per se, just misguided... [John Lennon’s admirers] might even be able to withstand something more challenging” and then praises John’s voice, his production, and a few individual songs. In Melody Maker, Ray Coleman says, “if you warm to the rasping voice of Lennon and, like me, regard him as the true fulcrum of much of what came from his old group, then like any new Lennon album, it will be enjoyable and even important.” Christgau is more middling but also says, “Still, the single works, and let's hope he keeps right on stepping.”

Walls and Bridges seems confusing to reviewers in retrospect. They couldn’t seem to come to a consensus on it. The musicianship was widely praised, for the most part, though Rolling Stone criticized the first side on this front; reviewers alternately said it was “the latest chapter in John Lennon’s Identity Crisis” (Creem) and “truly a superb album by any standards” (Melody Maker). Throughout the Rolling Stone review, the author is able to thoroughly critique the songs, for better or worse, with a neutral affect and without resorting to insulting John personally. He ends the review on a positive note: “When one accepts one’s childhood, one’s parenthood and the impermanence which lies between, one can begin to slog along. When John slogs, he makes progress.” Again, even though the reviews aren’t all positive, we can see, especially and most importantly in the most influential rock magazine of the time, the acknowledgment of his talent, a sense of excitement for what John will do next, and a belief that his work is authentic and honest.

George

All Things Must Pass, I mean. Apart from a couple of outliers like Christgau in The Village Voice (he called it “overblown fatuity”), it was incredibly, almost universally beloved by the music press when it came out. There was quite a bit of surprise that such a talent had been under everyone’s noses all this time, but I don’t think anon is quite correct that all the credit for the Beatles went to Lennon/McCartney. For example, Ben Gerson in Rolling Stone recognized George’s talent within the Beatles like this: “Up until now, George has been perhaps the premier studio musician among rock band guitarists. From the electronic whine which began “I Feel Fine” to the break in “Hard Day’s Night” to the crazed, sitar-influenced burst on “Taxman,” George exhibited an avant-garde imagination and a technical flawlessness, as well as the ability to stay within the bounds of a song, which has remained unparalleled.” In Melody Maker, the feeling of journalists was summed up thusly: hearing the album was “the rock equivalent of the shock felt by pre-war moviegoers when Garbo first opened her mouth in a talkie: Garbo talks! – Harrison is free!" The personal nature and honesty of the lyrics were praised as well; Time described it as an “expressive, classically executed personal statement.” Ben Gerson did call his proselytizing offensive, but in the next sentence says that George redeems himself from that with the personal plea in Hear Me Lord.

Concert for Bangla Desh - again, some cynicism from Christgau in The Village Voice (must have woke up on the wrong side of the bed that day) and of course tax issues dogged it later, but overall, for the rock press at the time, this was a crowning achievement that George pulled off. He was praised all over the press, countercultural and mainstream, for his live musical talent, the group of musicians that joined him, the lack of political motivation, the sincerity and goodwill, and George’s ability to bring back  "a brief incandescent revival of all that was best about the Sixties" (Rolling Stone). To this day he is credited with creating the model for future charity concerts. 

Living in the Material World - Nothing could have topped the one-two punch of ATMP and the Concert for Bangla Desh, but honestly, LITMW came pretty close for some journalists. Rolling Stone again praised George’s honesty and authenticity: “ Despite the occasional use of “psychedelic puns,” Harrison’s lyrics are so guileless they convey an extraordinary sincerity that transcends questions of craftsmanship. Similarly, the devotions we are called upon to share with Harrison, though they communicate no specific, private torment, do have the authenticity of overheard prayers and are therefore sacred.” Melody Maker said, "Harrison has always struck me before as simply a writer of very classy pop songs; now he stands as something more than an entertainer. Now he's being honest." The pushback against his pious attitude and lyrics picked up some steam with this album, particularly with Christgau (again) and Tony Tyler of NME, who called it “so damn holy I could scream.” However, it was far from the consensus opinion at the time, and with the biggest rock magazine in the world at your back, you can withstand quite a bit.

Dark Horse, oof. That poor man. It did get some positivity in Billboard and Melody Maker, but my god, the reviews for this album and its subsequent tour were so cruel. I suspect when these anon(s) talk about the others being treated terribly by the press as well, this, along with John’s STINYC, is one of the examples they would give, and they’re not wrong about that. This was the point where George’s piety and what they perceived as a sanctimonious attitude finally started really getting to everyone, and the album plus the tour was the perfect opportunity to dogpile on him. I guess it was to be expected; no one can ride that high forever, and the press loves to knock people over and kick them while they’re down. Rolling Stone called it “disastrous,” “shoddy,” and called his guitar work “rudimentary,” eventually declaring that George had “never been a great artist.” This from the same magazine that was practically worshipping at his feet the year before. Yowch.

Ringo

Sentimental Journey - The less that’s said about this album, the better.

Beaucoups of Blues was actually quite well-received. No one called him a genius for it, and it wasn’t a serious personal record and therefore wasn’t treated that way, but journalists seemed uniquely able to let themselves enjoy this record despite the serious/political/personal tone of most musicians at the time. Melody Maker believed Ringo had  "conviction and charm" and that because of that, the album stripped away the serious “hip posturing” and let you just enjoy the music on its own terms. The Village Voice said that Ringo was “good at making himself felt.” Although Rolling Stone’s tone was a bit more cruel than other magazines (there was a crack somewhere in there that Ringo wasn’t as smart as John), it also called him lovable and the record “a real winner” where the songs “sound terrific.”

Ringo was a total smash and I think people forget this. It’s remembered only because it’s an album that was worked on by all four Beatles, but actually, the critics fuckin loved it. Ringo was praised in Rolling Stone for his unpretentiousness, sensibility, and essentially collaborative nature: “Ringo was always the figure of conciliation within the Beatles, undoubtedly the most genial, conceivably the most sensible, and the one with the smallest musical axe to grind. His very lapses bespoke the esteem in which the others held him; had they not liked him so much, those perfectionists would never have allowed him to sing. Perhaps because as the drummer he stood outside the process of creation, he had the best perspective from which to see the Beatles as a unity. Ringo has never had any pretense of self-sufficiency. Once he had gotten his special projects out of the way (projects for which John, Paul and George's talents would have been unsuited anyway) Ringo was ready to call upon the three most obvious people to assist him with writing, singing and playing. As Starr's first "pop album," Ringo signifies a homecoming, not just of family, but in musical style as well.”

Goodnight Vienna was kind of a minor album for Ringo, but still, reviews were pretty good. Rolling Stone praised his “unalloyed sincerity which is his trademark and trump card.” Yet again, we see the theme of authenticity popping up in these reviews - if you are perceived as authentic, honest, and sincere, that takes you a long way with music reviewers in this time period, and Ringo was nothing if not wholly, completely himself.

Paul

McCartney - One of the main complaints of Paul fans is that Jann Wenner forced Langdon Winner, the author of the review for this album in Rolling Stone, to rewrite his article and put a more negative spin on it. The result is that Winner praised most of the music but totally undermined his own praise by questioning the authenticity of the tone and deriding the press release that came with the album as much as he praised the music. He ends the article like this: “I like McCartney very much. But I remember that the people of Troy also liked that wooden horse they wheeled through their gates until they discovered that it was hollow inside and full of hostile warriors.” This was a huge blow at a time when personal authenticity and substance were considered paramount. Melody Maker also questioned the legitimacy of his genius, saying “With this record, [McCartney's] debt to George Martin becomes increasingly clear.” Most other reviews weren’t any better.

Ram, I mean, Jesus Christ the reviews for this. It’s a widely respected album now, even made the RS top 500 albums of all time list last year, but at the time people were still so angry with Paul for supposedly breaking up the Beatles that they were still taking it out on his music a year later (imo). Landau in Rolling Stone called it “emotionally vacuous” and said it lacked conviction, saying also that it was “so incredibly inconsequential and so monumentally irrelevant you can’t even [hate it]; it is difficult to concentrate on, let alone dislike or even hate.” NME called it “the worst thing Paul McCartney has ever done.” Threaded through these reviews is a belief that the songs are devoid of meaning and that Paul’s happy domestic front is just a frustrating lie; Christgau in The Village Voice said he was “infuriated by the McCartneys' modern young-marrieds image” - infuriated because he clearly doesn’t believe it, rendering Paul dishonest and his music inauthentic. Once again journalists are unable to review Paul’s music without sniping about him as a person.

Wild Life - Though the situation remains largely the same - reviewers refuse to take him seriously, believe anything he says, or treat his musical talent as anything but vacuous fluff - the reviews aren’t quite as bad as they were for Ram and a bit of positivity begins to stir. It’s evident especially in the Rolling Stone review, where Mendelsohn wonders if Paul is making crappy fluff on purpose to piss John off because it will sell just as well anyway. It’s not much, and on top of the fairly strong criticism there is almost no hope for future Paul releases: “My own conviction is that we'd be foolish to expect anything much more earth-shaking than Wild Life out of McCartney for a good long while... In the meantime the reader is advised to either develop a fondness for vacuous but unpretentious pop music or look elsewhere for musical pleasure.” But it’s something.

Red Rose Speedway Paul continues to be lambasted by a lot of the press on this album for being lightweight and having no meaning behind his songs (at this point it’s just repetitive to quote the articles, just trust me that they say basically the same thing they were saying for the past three albums too), BUT I think a nuance that gets forgotten in all of this is that Rolling Stone gave it kind of a decent review. It seems like they finally quit gatekeeping and realized that songs don’t need to have some deep personal meaning to be good. Kaye is still not very nice about Paul’s lyrics but he recognizes that he doesn’t have to take Paul’s music on the same terms as he takes John and George. Paul’s music is less personal, but that doesn’t make it unworthy. He calls it “pleasant, accessible without concentration” and praises Paul’s voice and arranging skills. It feels like for this album, Rolling Stone took the stick out of its own ass when it came to Paul and finally relaxed enough to receive Paul’s music on his terms rather than theirs. Which, imo, primed the rock world for...

Band on the Run, Paul’s comeback. Even though Christgau in The Village Voice remained unconvinced (he called it “a pleasant piece of hackwork”), almost everyone else adored it. It seems weird to us now, but the general sentiment seemed to be that people were surprised by how good this album was. NME said, “The ex-Beatle least likely to re-establish his credibility and lead the field has pulled it off with a positive master-stroke”; and although Landau’s review in Rolling Stone overflowed with praise, he also said, “I'm surprised I like Band on the Run so much more than McCartney's other solo albums because, superficially, it doesn't seem so different from them.” 

I hope I’ve been able to demonstrate a general trajectory with the musical reputation of each Beatle here. John starts off on two incredible high points, crashes and burns, and then works his way back up. He DEFINITELY missed with STINYC, but even when he followed it up with Mind Games, there was still a hopeful tone to the reviews, sort of like, “Ah, well, the last two weren’t great but we’re still looking forward to what John will give us next.” Until the Dark Horse tour/album, which did sour the press on poor George, the music press adored him. It was hit after hit with him. He could not miss. Three high points, one after the other, then a monumental crash. Ringo seems to stay fairly high, even if the records aren’t serious records. All three of them start out incredibly well, and the music press was able and willing to give them the benefit of the doubt.

Paul was given none of that. Perhaps because he was out of step with the attitudes about music at the time, perhaps because journalists hated him for breaking up the Beatles, perhaps because they believed John when he painted Paul as “establishment,” perhaps a combination - whatever their issue was, Paul was given no benefit of the doubt to start with, no faith in his genius, and no belief in his authenticity. He was just a hack to the music press for the first few years of the 70s; he started at the bottom and was forced to work his way up, unlike the other three. It started, imo, when Wenner forced the journalist who wrote the McCartney review in RS to rewrite the article, and it spiraled from there. He was seen as hollow and uncool, as one of the anons said, “straight” in the parlance of the time - straight meaning “establishment.” This is kind of where I do start to roll my eyes a little bit at stans, when they get upset at people calling him “establishment” and trying to prove that actually he was so anti-establishment that people couldn’t handle it or whatever, without trying to understand what the word “anti-establishment” meant at the time. But there are also really substantive arguments you can make that say Paul’s music was not taken seriously because of a personal grudge against him.

I’m not saying that all of them didn’t have run-ins with the music press. I’m saying there is nuance here that I don’t think these anons are allowing for in the first few years of that decade. They came at George and John and Ringo with a positive, or at least neutral, slant most of the time. They came at Paul with a negative one. Case in point are the reviews of Band on the Run that were surprised at how good it was. That stuff gets people’s hackles up. The others didn’t have positive reviews rewritten to be more negative. The others didn’t have albums savaged that are now on the Rolling Stone top 500 albums of all time list. I do agree that John, at least, and George post Dark Horse, had a harder time with the music press than people generally remember or care to think about – deification is retroactive, I guess, and as Paul fans we should definitely recognize that Paul wasn’t the only one who went through a rough time with the press. But I do think Paul’s situation was made uniquely and unjustifiably difficult for those first few years.

I mean, at the same time, I cannot stress enough how much this did not affect his bottom line. Despite the horrible reviews, Ram still made a ton of money, McCartney made a ton of money, Band on the Run and Wild Life and Red Rose Speedway all made a ton of money. He had a fanbase, a huge one, that followed him loyally and faithfully through the early 70s as he was getting savaged by the press, and through the middle and late 70s when he was touring. At some point, you have to step back and go, wait. Why does any of this matter? This was 50 years ago. He was a multi-millionaire then and is a billionaire now. And you are right; whenever people over-generalize and try to make the case that Paul was always badly reviewed and the others were press darlings, I tend to get annoyed because they’re totally missing the actually interesting nuances of the situation (that can be easily found online! I found most of the music reviews through snippets on Wikipedia!) In conclusion, I guess my point is that both “Paul was vilified while everyone else wasn’t” and “everyone was equally vilified” paint the events of the early 70s with brushes that are too broad and miss the nuance that was evident in the way the press interacted with their music.

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #110.1: Hassan of the Hundred Personas #1: Asako

Today on Fate and Phantasms, we’ll begin our exhaustive look into the various lives of the Hundred Personas, and how best to represent them in D&D 5e. If we hurry we should be able to squeeze 3 Hassans in each week, meaning we’ll be done in time for Halloween!

We’re just messing with you- we’ll get all 100 Hassans into a 20 level build if it kills us.

Check out the Hundred Personas’ build breakdown below the cut, or their character sheet over here!

Next up: You have chosen...wisely.

Race and Background

The body that housed the Hundred Personas in life was almost certainly human, but we’re not limited by spritework like FGO is- that means we can account for all 100 personalities taking the reigns instead of just having one main character talking. To make this a bit easier, you’re going to be a Changeling. This gives you +1 Dexterity and +2 Charisma, as well as Changeling Instincts. This would normally give you two skills we’re getting anyway, but thanks to Tasha’s we can swap it out for Any two skills. As one hundred people, you have some leeway in what skills you pick, but I’d suggest focusing on intelligence and wisdom based ones- you’ll be good enough at the other skills to make up for it.

Of course the big selling point of the Changeling is its ability to Change Appearance. As an action, you can change your appearance and voice, as well as gender, race, height, and weight (as long as you stay the same size). You can’t turn into creatures you haven’t seen, and you can’t add or remove limbs (sorry if you were hoping for centaur Hassans). You stay in this new form until you change appearance again or die. Sure, in FGO all the Hassans are human, but why would that be the case in D&D? Toss some extra races in there for flavor, why not?

Similarly, you could probably pick any background you want, but for the sake of consistency we’ll get Acolyte again to match Cursed Arm. This gives you Insight and Religion proficiencies.

Ability Scores

We’re using point buy again, but for the exact opposite reason most people normally do- we’re not minmaxing, we’re maxminning for optimal coverage. When your specialty is Literally Everything, you can’t afford a negative modifier. Make Strength, Dexterity, and Charisma 13, and Constitution, Intelligence, and Wisdom 12. You’re not the strongest servants out there, but you are the most well-rounded.

Class Levels

1. Rogue 1: Technically there’s better classes for you to start than rogue, but they get a lot of skills, and skills are your bag. You get proficiency in Dexterity and Intelligence saving throws, as well as four rogue skills. Again, any skill are technically fine, but I highly recommend at least picking up Stealth and Deception. You’re all assassins, and if you can keep the fact that all 100 Hassans share a body a secret you’ll be a lot more intimidating.

To make your skill domination even more complete, first level rogues get Expertise, doubling the proficiency bonus of two skills. Again, I highly recommend Stealth and Deception for this. You can also make a Sneak Attack against creatures you have advantage over or are otherwise occupied as long as you’re using a finesse weapon, adding 1d6 damage to the attack.

You also get Thieves’ Cant, and unlike every other rogue we’ve made you can actually use it, since you’ve got 99 accomplices built in with you. Communication’s important in any relationship, especially when you can’t leave.

2. Fighter 1: You probably have some idea where we’re going with this. For now, you get a fighting style. Gozul the Strong isn’t that delicate, so grab Unarmed Fighting to get him some solid damage. It’s not synergistic, but these kinds of disagreements are inevitable in group projects. 

The good news is while one of you is out fighting, the rest of you can spend your bonus action on a Second Wind for a bit of healing once per short rest.

3. Fighter 2: Another benefit to being multiple people is ganging up on idiots who think they’re in a one on one fight. Thanks to Action Surge, you can take two actions in a single turn once per short rest. That’s almost like being two people, right?

4. Fighter 3: I can see that wasn’t enough for you. I get it, you’re a discerning customer. That’s fine though; feast your eyes on the Echo Knight! This subclass lets you Manifest Echo as a bonus action, creating a copy of yourself that you can attack through. I’d argue that as a changeling any one of your forms could still count as a copy of you, but that’s a fight you’ll have to wage with your DM. You can also Unleash Incarnation a number of times per long rest equal to your Constitution Modifier, adding an extra attack from your echo when you take the attack action. ...Don’t expect to use that too often.

Echos have an AC of 14 plus your proficiency bonus and 1 hit point, making them slightly harder to kill than you were in Zero. They use your saves, and you can swap places with them as a bonus action plus 15′ of movement.

5. Rogue 2: We got the obligatory subclass out of the way, so now we can focus back on your main class. Your fighter levels just gave you a great reason to use your bonus action, but your new Cunning Action gives you even more flexibility, letting you dash, disengage, or hide as a bonus action.

6. Rogue 3: We have one subclass, what’s the harm of another? As a Phantom rogue, your Dissociative Identity Disorder comes to the forefront. You hear Whispers in your Head, giving you one skill or tool proficiency that can be changed at the end of a short rest, giving you incredible flexibility. You can also use Wails from the Grave, which I couldn’t think of a good renaming for, to deal half your sneak attack dice in necrotic damage to another creature after using your sneak attack on someone. Imagine this as another you popping out to make the most of the opportunity. You can use this a number of times per long rest equal to your proficiency bonus.

You also get Steady Aim, exchanging your movement for advantage on your next attack. This uses your bonus action, but it basically gives you free advantage with your Echo. Remember, it only shuts down your movement. You’ve got 99 other bodies ready to go.

Also, your sneak attack reaches 2d6.

7. Bard 1: I don’t really have a flavor justification for this one. I guess you could get philosophical and point out how the self is just a story we tell ourselves to make sense of what we do, but that’s reaching. 

Anyway, you get proficiency in any one skill, Bardic Inspiration, some d6 you can pass to allies as a bonus action to give them a bonus on attacks, checks, and saves, and Spells that are cast with Charisma. 

Grab Minor Illusion for another way to make a copy of yourself, Message to keep things quiet on missions, Comprehend Languages because let’s be honest at least one of you probably has heard of Duolingo by now, Feather Fall and Longstrider to keep up with Cursed Arm, and Healing Word. Medicine is a skill in this game, so you’ve got to have a bit of healing.

8. Fighter 4: Use your first Ability Score Improvement to round up your Strength, and put the other point into Dexterity for later.

9. Bard 2: Second level bards get one of the three reasons we came here: Jack of All Trades. This feature adds half your proficiency to nonproficient skill checks, so the few things you’re not good at, you’re still good at. You also get a Song of Rest, adding 1d6 to healing done at short rests while you’re in the party. Not... totally in character, but it was free. Your friends can also add your Magical Inspiration to their healing and damaging spells now.

Speaking of spells- it doesn’t matter what you get this level, we’re swapping it out next level anyway.

10. Bard 3: Your last subclass is Lore Bard for three more skill proficiencies as well as Cutting Words, letting you spend a use of inspiration as a reaction to reduce an incoming attack by 1d6, possibly making it miss you. You also get another round of Expertise for two skills of your choice.

Your last spells are Enhance Ability to make your skills even more powerful, giving the target advantage on one kind of skill check for the duration. If your DM allows UA, you can also grab Mirror Image to make three copies of yourself that will take damage for you.

11. Fighter 5: Fifth level fighters get an Extra Attack with each attack action. There’s two of you fighting- two attacks should be the minimum.

12. Fighter 6: Use this ASI to become a Skill Expert. This feat rounds out your Dexterity, and gives you one skill proficiency and expertise with one skill.

13. Fighter 7: Our last stop in the fighter class gives you an Echo Avatar, letting you see and hear through your echo for up to 10 minutes. While this is effective, your echo has a range of 1000 feet. The Hundred Hassans made for an effective spy network in Fate Zero, and now they do in D&D as well.

14. Rogue 4: Use your next ASI to gain some more Strength so you and Gozul can tag-team enemies effectively.

15. Rogue 5: At fifth level your sneak attack grows to 3d6, and you can make an Uncanny Dodge as a reaction to halve the damage of a single incoming attack.

16. Rogue 6: You gain Expertise in two more skills, pick whichever are the most effective by this point.

17. Rogue 7: Your sneak attack is now 4d6, and you get a big bonus to your echo’s (and your) survivability thanks to your Evasion. When you make a dexterity saving throw to avoid damage, failures deal half damage and successes deal no damage at all.

18. Rogue 8: Use this ASI to bump up your Constitution for more health and another unleashed incarnation per long rest.

19. Rogue 9: Ninth level phantoms can make Tokens of the Departed as a reaction when a creature dies near you. While holding one of these trinkets, you have advantage on death and constitution saves, and you can destroy a soul trinket to gain one of two effects- either a free use of Wails from the Grave, or you can ask the spirit trapped within a question. I really don’t have a good way to flavor the latter option though-maybe a temporary form of introjection, but that’s really stretching. You should probably just use it to stab people more.

20. Rogue 10: Your capstone level is another ASI. Bump up your Dexterity for a higher AC and better knife skills.

Pros:

You have one of the strongest skill checks so far- if you pick your proficiencies the way I did in the character sheet, you’ll only have one skill with a modifier below a +5, and with Enhance Ability and planning, you’ll have advantage on any important checks. You can also use your phantom proficiency to pick up niche skills that other builds wouldn’t bother to have. Laugh all you want, but the one time you need chef’s tools proficiencies, you’ll be ready.

You are great at being a spy. You have an amazing stealth score, and can use your Echo Avatar to sneak into places and teleport a thousand feet at a time. You can also squeeze info out of the dead, and could probably disguise yourself as any random occupation you could think of.

Rogues and Echo Knights mix together very well. Your echos have a lot more survivability than regular fighters, and they help you get off your sneak attacks much easier, and the extra attacks don’t hurt either. You also get plenty of HP from your fighter levels, and can mix that together with a rogue’s evasion techniques. (Also, your echo has good AC, so your cutting words can be very effective to keep it around) 

Cons:

We’re one level short of Reliable Talent, which is a must-have for a skill focused build. I would almost recommend getting rid of the last fighter level to grab it.

Your spells are pretty useful, but you don’t have many spell slots, so you’ll have to be careful.

The game’s got way too many tools for one swappable proficiency to cover them all, so even with your best attempts, sometimes you’ll just be bad at something. The horror.

[madamhatter]

IMPORTANT HEADCANONS TO CONSIDER

“None of this is terribly important to consider when comes to m-” Too bad, Sophie.  “No! I didn’t want these details released!” Too bad!

can they use chopsticks

Modern Sophie knows how to use them and prefers cooking with them! In her opinion, they are are both an essential and also one of the greatest cooking utensil to have of easy it is to wash them, they’re great for precision, and are multifunctional. She would have a pair in her kitchen and would regularly use them whenever she can.

Canon Sophie, however, will not have much experience with using them. Eating with chopsticks will be a challenge. However, she will fall under the same preference as her modern self, finding them a wonderful addition for her kitchen! 

what do they do when they cant sleep

A far too common situation for Sophie, most days of her week are spent unable to gain any peace and allow herself to feel safe and relax enough to close her eyes. Anxiety will keep her staring at her ceiling, if she actually cared to stay lying down in bed.

Her routine would always involve movement and/or work. Usually, she would be confined to her room, filling out surplus paperwork or on projects she brought home with her. On rarer occasions, and surprising for those who know her as a ‘recluse,’ she would leave the house and walk some blocks around her neighborhood during the peaceful night. She doesn’t very much care for her safety at this point, and would let herself to get lost into the nighttime. 

Modern-verse, she would add on continuing and playing video games that she hasn’t had the time to finish. Usually, it would be strategy games like Fire Emblem, visual novels like, for example, Type-Moon or Frontwing, and mobile games like gachas and hidden object games. 

what would they impulse buy at the grocery store

Sophie never considers impulse purchasing at stores. To be frank, this is the woman responsible for buying the groceries and budgeting for her family to ensure they have sufficient funds to keep this household above the water. If anything, impulse purchases she does are for her sisters and stepmother. When she remembers what they mentioned wanting particulars or indirectly mentioning something they saw on the television, it would be most definitely waiting for her family members in their rooms, or the kitchen, depending on what they were talking about. She would feel intensely guilty, and undeserving, about purchasing items for herself, but it mean doesn’t she wouldn’t -- it just happens as rarely because emotionally handling that is exhausting. When she does, it is usually either affordable art supplies and flower seeds. Depending on the verse, she would either have a garden (backyard) to plant them or she resorts to growing them in pots and anything she can get her hands on. 

what order do they wash things in the shower

Theoretically, from top to bottom. If it’s a day where she needs to wash her hair, it would start at her scalp and end at her toes, but the very last part would be her private bits! Usually, she would focus on her arms and hands, to then her shoulders and chest, to then her back, and finally legs and feet. She doesn’t get the luxury of spending much time in the shower because she very feels like it should be a “get in, get out” thing to do in the mornings. However, it does depend how emotionally spent she is on the day. Something cute that she does, when she’s in her better moods or wanting to ‘escape’ a bit, is that she’ll hum and sing to herself while showering! 

what’s their coffee order

Guess who is the person who dislikes coffee and would refuse trying it at all? That is Sophie Hatter! Unless she has to try it out of obligation or wishes to be polite, she would not drink it. If made to have some, it would possibly be more milk or cream than coffee that way she can handle it. If someone were to think that introducing her to sweeter alternatives would help, quite unfortunately wrong you are! Sophie does not have a sweet tooth and is notoriously picky when it comes to anything sugary. 

what sort of apps would they have on their smartphone

Having some difficulty navigating her phones (professional and personal lines), she has very limited knowledge on how to use it and has only perfected using her phones for particular functions.  On her professional phone, it was very limited and one 5-6 apps are downloaded to the phone, outside of the pre-installed apps that she would use regularly. This would be related to programs that’ll help her keep track of stock exchange, investment monitoring, budgeting, creating, scanning, and signing documents, and those very niche  duties. However, she will treat herself to having one art application that is also installed on her personal phone. On her personal/private phone, it would be the similar situation where her apps are limited. However, there are some that Martha and Lettie installed for her like certain social media apps that Sophie uses passingly, but never focuses too much on it. Something like Twitter may be her “go-to” but it’s an private account not even under her name (compared to the corporate account) and she posts her sketches and fanart and her random thoughts and questions. She’d probably also have the almanac app downloaded beside several art apps, a flower guide, bird-watching guide, and one or three games she’d sink some hours (mentioned earlier). 

how do they act around children

Sister-turned-parent (as she did function as both mother and father for her sisters), Sophie easily finds herself understanding and getting along with children. Generally, though, she is a friendly but firm figure, always entertaining what a child has to say and listening to what they’re expressing. Being around children would reveal her doting and gentler side faster than most things, but it would also reveal her protective nature as easily (She was cursed as a black cat in the books when she had Morgan and anytime she felt her child in danger, she shifted herself, willingly, a panther. She doesn’t play around.)

As sad as it is to say, she is much more expressive but honest with children; she has this particular care and respect about those so young and being able to live their childhoods. She idealizes the idea of ‘childhood’ and finding it such an imperative and special time in anyone’s life. Given her lack-of childhood that she never had, it is particular sensitive for her and she acts on the “I went through this and no one else should” ideal. 

what would they watch on tv when they’re bored and nothing they really like is on

Any nature channel or music channel (i.e., classical) that she can listen to while she does something around the living room. If she cannot find something she’ll enjoying watching, she wouldn’t really spend her time sitting and just whatever when she can easily be doing something else that does interest her. 

tagged by: @ninthsanctum​ { technically stolen from ya’! I just took the full ver. instead of the abridged ver.  tagging: you! take it! now! 

[vitosscaletta]

personality + relationships for julia & background + relationships for lucia 😌

rips you off and makes banners <3

PERSONALITY

What’s their alignment?

chaotic good/neutral. more neutral/lawful later on

Which one of the 16 Personality Types do they fit into?

Not looking at it in-depth but entj 😳

What are their hobbies and interests? Do they have any particular “favorites” (food, books, and so on)?

Writing obviously... Mostly her little newspaper articles though, she’s not creative enough to write fiction :/ Other than that she likes to read, mostly the standard literature of the time (she’s a big fan of Ernest Hemingway.. 😳) or some of her mom’s old stuff and a few other columnists she looks up to :) Also medical books her dad has in their living room. She reads those too. She also picked up sewing at some point in the late 20′s/early30′s but she’s kinda. whatever about it. Mostly did it when she couldn’t afford new clothes and tried to change the silhouette of her old stuff

What are they bad at?

Driving 😔 she’s not... bad... she’ll just yell at anyone for no reason and break speed limit all the time 

Do they have any vices/addictions/mental illnesses?

No lol but she smokes... sometimes 😒

What are their goals and motivations?

God she’s ambitious as hell and it has mostly to do with her job... she wants to be a famous journalist or something but most of all to be taken seriously? Insert that saying about having to work twice as hard as a man to get half as much respect. Besides that, she also believes whatever she puts out into the world could somehow change things for the better :) It’s a little naive so she’d never tell people but. 

What are their manners like? Any habits?

Her manners are.. good? But she’s chatty and won’t shut up and says whatever is on her mind so

RELATIONSHIPS

Do they have any friends? Would they consider anyone to be their best friend?

She’s friends with almost everyone at Salieri’s (except Frank ig just because I couldn’t see them interacting much.. and Vinny..) and mostly just hangs out with them, she doesn’t really interact with other people anymore. Friend group that consists almost exclusively of italians <3 Her best friends are Olive and Sarah, maybe also Carlo since he always hangs around the bar too while the others are doing idk mafia things and plays cards with them :/ She’s friends with the other guys too though. Including Ralphie to some degree, she feels sorry that everyone makes fun of him... then laughs at whatever mean shit the others say about him and feels bad about it 😔

What’s their love life like? (See also: ship question meme.) Do they have any kids?

Oh you know 🙄 has a stupid little crush on Sam because she likes evil men i guess... idk what to say because there’s. A lot. They hold hands on her dads couch, get together like a year later because hes a freak etc. You know how it ends in canon but in the sexy superior au they get married in 1939/1940 something but nothing changes bc she was living in his crappy little italy apartment anyway :) also no kids god.. 

Who do they look up to? Who do they trust?

Hmmm mostly her parents. Yes her dad is a crooked doctor but she wants to be like that too... He ends up in prison in the canon timeline though :c  Also her late mother... she was an author (not a well-known one lmao) who died in the late 1910s :/  She trusts uhhh.. her dad and her friends I suppose.. her close friends. 

Who do they hate? Do they have any enemies?

She dislikes/hates a lot of random people because she’s petty but has no real enemies? Maybe Morello & his gang but just because everyone else does.. She has the exact same opinion on him as Salieri so whenever he talks shit she’s like “haha YEAH! >:(”... then he goes crazy in the end :/

Do they have any pets?

Yes, a cat :) his name is Louie

Are they good with kids? Animals?

With kids... yeah, to some degree? She’s the cool aunt who teaches kids swear words like “oh nuts” and tells them (child-friendly versions of) stories about her mafia friends but she’s not really someone who could take care of a child all day 🙄 Animals... yeah? She’s good with cats but probably nothing else

BACKGROUND

Where were they born? What was their childhood like?

She was born in Parlermo in the 1920s but her family moved to america when she was very young so she has no memory of her old home :/ They weren’t very well off in sicily and that didn’t change when they moved, her parents worked shitty jobs with low pay so they didn’t have much & lived in some ugly little apartment in little italy with their three kids... Lucia had to take care of her brothers most of the time because her parents both worked.. and was usually the one who had to beat the other kids’ asses when they got into trouble with any of them 😒 She spent most of the free time she had studying and doing things for school so she could get a proper job and wouldn’t end up like her parents or whatever

What’s their family like?

Her parents like I said are both from Sicily.. her dad is a mechanic and mostly worked in some little garage. The earning wasn’t that bad for the time but he made a few debts to the bank (and other people trying to pay those off) in the 1930s so you know :/ Her mom worked part-time in some random store lol.. they loved her obviously but they were very strict and had a billion expectations while also not really being around enough. They do support her trying to do well in school, mayyyyybe also going to college and all that but still expect her to get married instead of pursuing a career in the end so she can become a proper housewife 😒  She also has two younger brothers, Antonio and Frank.. they’re closer and like i said... Lucia is the cooler older sister who beats up the other kids who mess with them. They don’t have much lore but.. they exist..

What factions or organizations are they a part of? What ranks and titles do they hold?

None... idk.... empire bay library where she works in the late 40′s/early 50s :) she initially just works there as a librarian but becomes an archivist in 1950 something.

How do they fit into their “story”?

Just like Mia, she’s Vito & Joe’s friend from childhood.. dumb teenage antics that end after high school and they grow apart while Vito is in the army and Joe does... crime things. She’s just doing her own thing until the like 2 months where Vito isnt in prison.. where she has to drive his ass home after he & Joe robbed that one jewelry store :^) also they all meet up again in 1951, life is good for 3 months

Where do they currently live? What’s their place like?

Some crappy little apartment complex in Westside except her apartment looks nice 😌 it’s nothing fancy but it’s cozy and nice, lots of books lying around (there’s a system to it according to her), some old furniture mixed with new mid-century style ones. She has a little sunburst clock hanging there.

How do they eventually die?

Uhhh probably just of old age... in a swamp..

RELATIONSHIPS

Do they have any friends? Would they consider anyone to be their best friend?

Her childhood friend group that I mentioned, consisting of Vito, Joe and Mia :) They all lived in the same crappy neighborhood and went to school together.. Apparently Joe was the neighborhood bully whch is funny as hell to me but also. Lucia got into his “gang” when he picked on her little brother and she threatened to beat his ass.. meanwhile Vito actually had to do that to get into their group lmao. They met Mia like two years later in church and all became friends when Lucia helped her out in school 😳 She’d definitely consider Mia her best friend, they still hung out after their little friend group fell apart :(

She’s also friends with Giuliana and by association Henry (not really she just hears about him from like everyone)

What’s their friend group like? What role do they play in it?

godd obviously she wasn’t the one who started shit but she gladly went along with whatever stupid bullshit the others were doing. She’s supposed to be the responsible smart one or something but she’s not... she’s the one who causes more trouble to help the others somehow 😌 Shoplifting antics

She started being responsible after graduating high school when her parents told her to do something with her life so she’s like... “time to stop hanging out with criminals and focus on college...”. she really misses it though :(

What’s their love life like? (See also: ship question meme.) Do they have any kids?

Ahem.... she and Vito.... Childhood friends to lovers 😌 they were just friends in high school & she thought she’d never see him again after he got arrested but she does in 1945. Then he gets arrested again :)) Uhh she probably briefly dated a few people during that time but nothing ever came out of it. They get together in 1951 though but i cant talk about my mafia ships here or I’ll combust. They also probably have kids idk yet.. they look like kids people

Who do they look up to? Who do they trust?

She trusts..... her friends. and her brothers. Doesn’t really look up to her parents though because that’s exactly what she doesn’t want to be :(

Who do they hate? Do they have any enemies?

She doesn’t have any enemies she just hates some random people by association (the irish gang, some random mafia men she doesnt know)

Do they have any pets?

Two cats. Ocs by me owning cats cinematic universe

Are they good with kids? Animals?

Yes, she’s good with both :)

[brideylee]

Chateau Quarantine

                 Sophia Coppola smokes a cigarette while she waits for an omelette she has no intention of eating.  It’s a gloomy marine layered morning, you can barely see across Sunset. She’s been in lock down for three weeks and while she normally loves the moody, brooding decadence of the Chateau Marmont, its elite solitude is giving her a bit too much time to reflect. She thinks about the concept of crying as she watches a long torso-ed model skinny dip in the pool from the penthouse. There are no rules anymore, not that there were many in the first place. The hotel was shuttered to the public as of three weeks ago, and those who were already there could stay indefinitely. Sophia lives alone in the tower suite with the three bedrooms and the wrap around porch, known by some as “the Deniro”, but Robert himself couldn’t tell you why. Any legends or gossip about the Chateau were just bread crumbs to keep the public hungry and mystified. The real Chateau for the privileged few who used it, was an unceremonious respite for excessive loneliness, addiction, and often not great sex. The Chateau had a reputation: look but don’t fuck. Everyone’s genitals were rendered useless from anti-depressants.

               She thought she would be filming by now. Her cast is stranded too, with little guidance other than “we’ll wait it out.” The film she wanted to make stars Hugh Grant and Ewan McGregor as two estranged brothers coming together for their father’s funeral. Iman was set to the play the mysterious woman who shows up at the funeral who they then realize was their father’s mistress. It was going to be a slow movie about the brothers coming to terms with their father’s death and equally so falling in love with the woman he hid from them. All this would be suggested through intimate long takes, and funny, stylish, improvised montages. Always subtle and romantic without the sap, this was the tight rope Sophia liked to balance on.  At the end of the movie, both brothers are mildly changed, but not entirely. She has a sweet spot for the immovability of people’s psyches, particularly men. 

Sophia watches impartially, as the naked model floats on her back in the calm pool. It is so cold and early to swim, is she on drugs or is everyone at this place even more numb than they think? She wondered if her film was too male, too disembodied from her personally to mean anything.  Tapping into the male gaze, was an ability she was born with. Her father’s point of view was all she interacted with as a kid, and the underside of his specialties became her focus: the lost parts of men when they are too weak to hold up the heavy crown of their egos, who they were when they could let themselves feel outside of their work. But given the state of the world, and the molasses nature of time during lock down, Sophia started to question if what she always found to be her strength was just simply trauma. Was her whole profession a way to resolve some genetic creative stifling that took place in the shadow of her dad? Surely her body of work contains more than that. It’s not all a selfish attempt at repair. Is any art not selfish? "Maybe I should make a different movie, something that everyones gonna like for once.” She thinks to herself.  Thank God, her goat cheese omelette has arrived.

             Later on, the gothic lobby is empty besides the cast of her film and the elegant model behind the reception desk standing like a hollow sculpture, frightened by the chaos that lurks outside. Ewan McGregor, drunk off of five Marmont Mules, is showing Hugh Grant an app that maps the stars and constellations. Ewan has gone on and on about a camping trip he took around Scotland and how amazing the stars were, but when pressed for details about where exactly he was or what he saw or what year he did this, he can’t seem to remember anything at all.But that doesn’t dampen his excitement about the app. “See, that, there is Orion’s belt!” Ewan enthusiastically points out, his cute smirk displaying his bottom row of sweet corn kernel teeth. Ewan just recently learned about the stars. Until the age of 47, Ewan had been referring to them as “night freckles.” Many think this is why he didn’t have a fun time acting in  Star Wars, space simply befuddled him. Hugh and Ewan are dressed exactly the same: navy blue beanie, black jeans, a tight blue thermal, and desert boots- the actor man uniform they give you after you play opposite Nicole Kidman or Renee Zellweger.

“That’s brilliant,” says Hugh Grant completely perplexed by the app and confused at Ewan’s rambling. Hugh sticks a handkerchief up his nostril with his pointer finger and wiggles it around somewhat violently. Iman clocks this with a blink of disgust, her silk, gold blouse  glistens with god-like royalty in the amber glow.  “Can you turn your face away? That’s how the virus is spreading.” Her voice is deep and she rarely uses it because it changes the direction of the wind and messes with the tides.  “Aw, fuck me. That’s right, isn’t it?” Hugh Grant turns away and starting blowing his nose and coughing obnoxiously. Hugh is acting like a resentful brat because he knows he wont be able to have Iman. He decides he’s gonna pick a fight with Sandra Bullock via face time later to blow off steam. Iman is thinking she was right all along, she should never have agreed to this. She was already sick of the “beanie twins”. 

Hugh had been rattling on about how the movie needed a sex scene or at least a sexy scene and went on to say that Sophia had some sort of block. Iman felt that both Ewan and Hugh, however innocently, were exploiting their acting roles to gain real life experience, and there was no way in hell, she was going to kiss either of them.  Her kiss would make them immortal and Iman knew their souls needed more lifetimes to grow. Plus, she liked the script the way it was- underwritten and open for interpretation. Her character is symbolic of the side of their dad they didn’t get to meet-  spiritual, graceful, embodied. It was a soulful choice not to show any nudity or sex, one that could lead Americans to try to use whats left of their iPhone stolen imaginations.

                Meanwhile Michael Cain, who was supposed to play the dead father, is staring at the beautiful Victorian tapestry hanging behind her. “It’s like it’s right out of the Cloister’s.” Michael says under his breath. Michael is sweet, Iman thinks as she watches him stare at the tapestry with wonder, his mouth agape, and a lil warm milk spilling out of his left eye. Iman and him have known each other for years and he always reminded her of her husband: his fierce devotion to his craft, his rigorous intellectuality that does a bad job hiding an animalistic sexuality. Both men contained so much and no one can handle a man like that besides a mystical siren like Iman. 

Hugh and Ewan’s chatter dies as their drinks empty. “If I were to be honest with myself…” Hugh begins. “Better later than never…” Michael Cain interrupts without cracking a smile,  a dryness a la Maggie Smith. In fact, fuck, this was Maggie Smith. No one had realized. Hugh winks at Michael/ Maggie and continues. “ I don’t think were going to be filming any time soon, folks. I think we are being held hostage a bit by Miss Coppola.” Ewan stares off with a thinking face like no one has  ever had a deeper thought before. “That is interesting to think about. There is some kind of bratty assumption that all this will fade away soon enough. And we’ll be back on set. But what if it’s not for another year or so?”  Ewan is really getting worked up “What if we live here for the rest of our lives!!” His eyes are big and dazzling, it’s like he’s thinking of the most ideal outcome for the rest of his life.

               Suddenly, Sophia joins them at the table. “There they are, my little hunchbacks!” This is what Sophia affectionately calls her actors, the origin is unknown. Sophia has a strange new confidence around her. Usually, when she walked into places, she would feel like a Nat Sherman cigarette, like only some select tall New Yorkers in the back would still appreciate her. “Hello, love! Someone slept well.” Maggie Smith as Michael Caine chirped. Even when Maggie-Michael said something sweet, it still felt like someone was aggressively tickling your ribcage. 

          “I have news.” Sophia sits down, and smiled large and toothy, a stark contrast to her usual chic, despondent stare,  a look only afforded  to artists born with trust funds. “We’re not making the movie.” Hugh taps the table. “Well, I believe I won that bet.” Ewan’s jaw drops, destroyed. “You mean we cant live here together forever?” He runs his hands through his hair, petrified. Iman is quiet, which can mean many different things and all things at once, she is eternally the glory of God, a forgotten pyramid at the bottom of the ocean that if unearthed would explode us into 5D ascension. 

 “We are making a better movie! A super hero movie!!” Sophia exclaims. Sophia gets up close in the faces of her cast, pitching them on her new idea. “It’ll be a real heroes journey- good guys versus evil! Fun CGI! Sexy starlets and fun on trend jokes!” She turns to Michael Maggie, her mouth inches away from their milky eye, and says- “And much much more!” Sophia climbs up on the table now. “The adults will love it, as well as the little ones!” She does an Irish jig and starts spinning around and then poses with her arms up as though at the end of a musical.  It was not fun to watch.  Iman cuts her off-“I don’t trust what is happening.This is not reality. This is delusion. A karmic spell.” The power of Iman’s words blows the power out of the Chateau, pipes burst, the fire alarm goes off, and Joel Madden of Good Charlotte in room 304 stops jerking off for a second. Sophia is still catching her breath from her presentation, her sweating, arms stretched to the ceiling. She gulps as her eyes meet Iman’s. “Why don’t you just write from my character’s point of view?” Iman says as softly as she can without causing chaos.   Sophia freezes. Her whole body calcifies and turns to ice, then crumbles onto the table. Ewan and Hugh watch in absolute horror as Iman drops some of the ice into her water. She knows she shouldn’t have said yes to this project and looks on lovingly at Michael/ Maggie who has dozed off. 

[lovelyparkers]

hard as nails (1)

hi hi 50k special!! this is gonna be either two or three parts and it's a lot different from what i've written before but i think y'all are gonna like this anyways so... i hope y'all do enjoy this

summary: being a teenage vigilante can be fun, especially when you're on the bad side and spider-man is your nemesis. 2k words

warnings: swearing, reader is a saucy and spicy little villain, peter is a blushing mess sometimes, angst, fight scenes!! violence!

you never expected to get in the way of queens well renowned hero—spider-man. that is until you had to relocate to queens from the bronx. it was...definitely a change from all aspects. your dad moved out with you, wanting a better place to go to school for you, since you had been leaving home very often for...you know, villainous duties. yet you were an extraordinary student, which led to you being enrolled in midtown school of science and technology. as well as having to scope out queens at night and having several run ins with the spider-man.

the worst part, you know you went to school with the masked hero because you frequently saw him entering the roof of the school in his suit. now you, you were way more careful and you worked alone, besides for a woman in her 30's who had taken you under her wing, trained you, and demanded you commit crimes for her and for yourself. she was the base operation and you did everything she asked, even when you moved, she moved. you were like her little goon. you excelled in combat and had unusually incredible strength due to being caught up between some dangerous radioactive weaponry in your sophomore year back in the bronx. you began junior year at midtown in queens, you made some friends, but knew to keep your distance. spider-man had become your main and pretty much only focus since you arrived. you know what they say, keep your friends close but your enemies closer.

you didn't want to hurt or kill spider-man, you just wanted to make his life absolutely miserable. that's how you worked, manipulate and mess with, not murder. you stole pretty much anything you could get your hands on because well, you were broke. you beat people up, robbed stores, manipulated civilians, and threatened people. yeah. your dad could barely afford meals for you both and lived in a very rusty apartment. but hey that's life and you were making it through. well, illegally. you told your dad you got a job at night in queens when you began showing up with money and clothes and food and god knows what else. it was a perfect alibi for a father who really didn't even give a shit.

and this spider-man, oh this lovely beautiful boy, was getting in your way. you were just trying to survive right? that and doing things for this mystery woman. and gosh did you want to find out who was behind the mask. it was obviously a boy your age. every night you tried to find him, meet up with him, talk and find out about him and of course, fight each other. he never hurt you though and you knew he had a soft spot for you. maybe it was your flirty nature.

and now you were on a rooftop at midnight, sitting with your nemesis.

"violet," spider-man called out, "nice to see you again."

your 'villain' name was violet because of the violet mask you bought from party city awhile ago. it was...fitting. and a pretty name that sounded so good coming from his mouth. you may have had a little tiny teeny crush on him. he looked fantastic in that suit and imagined what was underneath. little did you know he did the same about you. black leather pants and a black and violet zip up top matching your mask.

"hey spidey! catch any criminals tonight?" you asked.

"mmm none yet because you're out here."

"awe baby am i distracting you?" you walked over to him, close enough for him to rip off your mask.

"kinda," he replied, masked eyes slanting down.

"well tell me about yourself before you get in my pants. who is spider-man."

"wouldn't you like to know. is violet your real name?"

you scoffed, "do you think i'm dumb?"

"no i just- no."

you took your hand bringing it up to lay on his shoulder and slowly and teasingly dragged it over his abs.

"you're really ripped babe."

"don't babe me, you know i can take you."

"oh so you think you can take me? what about that one time i had you pinned down outside your school."

"how do you know i go to midtown," he asked in a panic.

"i knew it! so you do go there! i've seen you entering through the roof. watch yourself."

he grabbed your hand, locking it with his own. he stared at your signature red nail polish which made his head run wild.

"i've got you now. you watch yourself."

you twisted your wrist and swept a leg under his causing him to fall, but he caught you and brought you down with him. you fell on top of him with a groan.

"damn spidey. getting right into it are we?"

"shut up," he said and rolled over so he now had you pinned down on the roof.

he twisted his head at you, eyes focused on your face and you neatly done hair in two dutch braids. you noticed his distracted state and smirked pushing him over so now you straddled his waist and pinned his arms to the roof. just like before.

"still distracted i see?"

"well i cant help it sometimes. even though i'm supposed to hate you."

"awe spidey. you're so sweet. but you know i'm not gonna let you go."

you leaned down into him to whisper in his ear, "you're too pretty underneath me."

he strained his neck back, melting because of you, "stop," he demanded.

"no," you said jokingly then pressed a kiss on the cheek of his mask. you didn't know it but the boy was blushing underneath. you got up and let him get up to follow you. you walked to the other side of the roof, showing off your hips.

"don't get into any trouble tonight, whatever your name really is."

"sure thing babe."

he jumped off the roof backwards, watching you then swinging away.

—————————

you arrived to school the next day with a little more intuition about the masked hero. his voice was distinct. it was higher than most boys, and you doubted he used a voice changer because it would have that staticky feedback. and you swore you had heard that voice somewhere, but you couldn't put your finger on it.

"hey y/n," peter parker, you chem lab partner said smiling and sitting down next to you.

you hesitated, "hi...peter."

you gave you a confused smile and opened his books.

you think you have your guy. huh. easy as that. you tapped your red nails on the desk.

you scribbled up a note to spider-man and well, peter. after lab and working closer with peter, you realized his demeanour and actions were very similar to spidey, further proving your hypothesis. you followed him to his locker, close behind him, and waited by a water fountain till he left his locker, then slipped the note in.

at the end of the day peter headed to his locker, opening it when a note fell out. he picked it up and looked around the hall. the note read:

hi spidey. i know it's you. and gosh it's about time. meet me on top of the tall apartment complex on grand central parkway tonight at 9. thanks petey xoxo, violet

it was written in purple ink and adorned with a red heart next to your name. oh shit. he was fucked.

when peter got home he was panicking. this villain went to school with him. a literal manipulative villain. and you were his age! he wondered if he knew you. you obviously knew him.

————————

peter showed up to the spot at exactly 9 pm to find you in your suit. upon his impact, you jumped up, running to greet him.

"oh peter! you made it. i'm so glad because i—"

he grabbed both of your wrists tightly and put his face in yours, "how? how did you find out."

you gulped, "you're not a very careful person peter."

he ripped off his mask, there was no point.

"look at me," he demanded and you gladly did. you bit your lip at the sight of his messy brown locks and stern brown eyes. was he always this hot when he was angry?

"you can't tell anyone. and i know that won't stop you, but guess what? every time we hang out and fight and you flirt or whatever, i could easily rip off that mask, what, is it from the dollar store? or—"

"party city," you cut him off.

"stop! listen to me! i could've easily ripped off your mask at any time. but i don't. i never do. you know why? because you're different. your funny and you don't actually hurt me but i have to stop you because you hurt others. and-and you're so cool but you're a villain. and you're really pretty even though i can barely see your face and...yeah. now that i know you go to my school, i know you're someone like me. you're just a troubled kid who got caught up in the wrong crowd. but you're the bad one. and i'm sorry and i like spending time with you but you can't do this to me."

you gulped again, looking down at your feet. you could tell he meant what he said. and like you had always promised, you never wanted to deliberately hurt spider-man. or peter.

"i-i'm so sorry. i shouldn't have—i'm sorry."

"it's okay, just promise me you won't tell."

you reached your hand up to touch his cheek, red nails stroking his skin, "i promise."

"thank you."

"i should go. i'm sorry peter."

you hopped off the roof and he watched you leave. you had to go meet up with your head lady who was named daria. she told you to expose spider-man and get him off your radar, but you made a promise and now you were kinda scared.

"so, did you find him?" daria asked.

you hesitated, "no, not exactly."

she walked over to you and slapped you across the face.

"i'm disappointed in you. you find him or else i cant deal with you anymore."

you just stood there.

"say something!"

"i cant find him," you lied, "it's impossible."

"you're lying. i know you are boyfriend girlfriend with him. it's all over the news. you get him tomorrow night. nothing more."

"yes daria."

you left her shady apartment and headed straight home, done for the night. she genuinely scared you and you were worried she was going to kill you if you didn't turn peter in. but you couldn't do that to him? could you?

the next morning during chem lab you were late. you joined peter at your table. you had a wicked purple and yellow bruise on your face, which peter took notice of. it was from daria.

"y/n oh my god, are you okay?" he asked pointing to your face.

"'m fine," you replied covering the bruise with your hand. peter watched your fingers cover the bruise. your painted, red, fingernails.

[yn6k]

hi shine! i wanted to know your thoughts about the book of us: gravity album? any personal favorites? least favorites?

sorry this is so late! i wanted to take my time to answer it because i do have a lot of thoughtsTM hahaha more (like a LOT more) under the cut :) 

so on first listen of the album, or honestly even just from the album spoiler haha, my ears instantly focused in on cover and how to love! so i’ll probably have the most to say about those songs + time of our life since ive listened to them the most!!for me: love how its in compound meter! always love me a good 12/8 or 6/8 or whatever it is haha its felt in three basically lskj i dont have a lot to say about this song? i think the focus is more on the lyrics? but musically i cant really identify anything that really sticks out to me alkdj like typical poprock i really dont know what to say maybe theres more interesting things going on underneath that im terrible at picking out (like in the chord progressions) fav part is def the prechorus^^time of our life: its so weird talking about this now bc ive gotten so used to the song that lkj some of what im saying (like the changes i would have done) feels /wrong/ but ahaha still here are some of my thoughts^^ FIRST OF ALL WONPILS PIANO SOLO >>>>> i just really love listening to it and i think an underrated part of his solo is the i think synth drums underneath them and how it creates this driving motion for the song and so like even tho the song starts kind of bare we can go straight into that hype instrumental intro instead of like having only his solo be the intro and going straight into the more mellower verse or smth along those lines? hahaha i think on first listen the first thing that stood out to me was how the chorus sounded like an extension of the verse?  like the chorus wasnt very obvious and im not sure why in terms of like chord progression music theory, but in terms of instrumentation i think one of the reasons is because that driving quarter note drum thing we get in the chorus only resolves in the second half of the chorus instead of sometime in the first half of it. so it almost gives off this sense that we might be building up to something greater but we arent? really like all of this energy from the drums piling up for seemingly no reason and also the effect that it has on really accentuating the opening lines of the chorus dissipates imo the longer that drum rhythm plays out. like the whole “a page of beautiful youth” part that opens the chorus is mostly all quarter notes and i love how we have the quarter notes within the actual drum line to back that up but then two things after that happen: 1) we get i guess a reiteration of the opening melody in the chorus with the “let’s write it together” which i feel like having the drumming driving with those same quarter notes underneath it makes the intro of the chorus feel a bit less special and memorable? and 2) and after that line plays out, the melody becomes a bit more loose in in terms of its rhythm (the ‘i want to fill it with our memories’ part) the melody doesnt have those same impactful quarter notes anymore, but u still have the drum playing it so its kind of? like a why? at that point like i personally feel it takes away from the support it gives to the earlier melody that was obviously more driving quarter notes. i kind of wish that driving forward motion in the drumline was resolved within the third measure of the chorus with like a singular drum hit into the release (like going from here to something like here but with a drum hit in between as a transition or smth? hard to explain lks i actually had a made a video a while back kind of experimenting with the sound but idk how to upload it to here) but!! i am a fan of having those driving quarter notes coming out of the bridge i love the usage of it there and would not change a thing! i think it fits because we are actually building up to that release in the instrumental, it feels a lot different than the chorus which just feels like it drags on for a bit too long. but i would also would have liked if we had a bit of an instrumental pause or something like right after sungjin says ‘dont worry about a thing’ like after that ‘ma’ a brief pause or like even the omission of the downbeat that the drum is giving like /something/ missing before we get back into him singing ‘leave everything to me’ idk i feel like that change would have been interesting and way to build up tension again in a way?? anyways to circle back to my original point about the chorus feeling like an extension of the verse..i lowkey feel like maybe day6 felt that a bit too? laksdj and thats why we got that drum intermission bw the end of the prechorus and the start of the chorus but thats just a theory idk how true it is like honestly to me it felt slightly out of place and kind of a random transition? i dunno i could be wronghere are some misc. things not in too much detail since i think talking about one song has already gotten too long alksdj but sungjins part in the prechorus i think could have been sung a bit /gentler/ than his usual throaty approach for day6 songs idk. love the vocal layering in the chorus! maybe my headphones are terrible and maybe im biased (a bit of both or neither who knows) but laksdj i kinda wish youngks bass part was a tad bit louder he has some cool parts that often get overshadowed by the electric guitars + vocals i think (like here! the sound is so tiny in the studio i wish they had brought it out a bit more because when it is brought out it like here sounds gorgeous…that sound actually might be a bit overpowering actually haha but some happy balance bw those two). also totally random but i love the way jae says ‘한 페이지’ its just satisfying to listen to like he slurs the words a bit? whereas sungjin in his part is more staccato and lkj i think i prefer the legato connection of the words to the staccato one. also thank god they brought back the piano solo for the bridge laksjhow to love: SHE!! was a favorite/look out for since the album spoiler and she did not disappoint. wonpil said it was motown influenced? love that for them;; the chord progressions are funky and fun to listen out for! love how we get a bit of instrumental differences between the first and second reiteration of the first part of the verse?  (the introduction of this electric guitar kind of in ur left ear if ur wearing head phones thats not there initially but then also this part in the electric guitar in the right ear which isnt there also again in the first reiteration just to keep it different and not redundant! i love the prechorus, introduction of strings for chorus stellar (but im strings biased) but its just so fun to follow how its similar and different to the vocal melody also whats a day6 song without some sort of chanting! love how the rhythm in the melody follows the drum part into the chorus all three times that it happens! the bridge is funky love it haha and also just love how at the end they switch up the ‘cause im ready’ and have sungjin jae and wonpil each sing one of those and then have youngk end with the ‘ooooh’ i thought that was adorable. ok keeping it short thats all i’ll saywanna go back: not to be a svt stan but holiday is that you? hahah jkjk its just a similar genre its like holiday meets maroon 5 haha i actually enjoy a lot of the song the chord progressions in the verses are interesting but also the prechorus is really pretty sounding but lakjd i honestly wish the tempo was just a little bit faster in the chorus i feel like its dragging a bit its hard for me personally to stay engaged with the song because of the murky feeling i personally get from the chorus. also the transition into the second verse is kinda ?? idk ahahaha but yeah main thing is just i wish the tempo was even just the tiniest bit faster for the chorus specifically i feel like verses are fine but just the chorus could have afforded to been a bit faster…but maybe this is just a personal experience cover: this is my personal favorite from the album! musically i just love the sound of the chord progressions in the verses? also the chorus! she! the vocal melody how it goes down but then u hear that piano in the background go up *chefs kiss* art! and i love the changes in the instrumental they introduced for the second verse! they added the bass i believe as well as another electric guitar part that isnt that muted plucking thing that we got in the first verse! AND THEN THE BRIDGE!!!!!!! THAT!!! IS!! A!! BRIDGE!!!! its so stunning and incredibly climatic and beautifully executed!!! i believe thats the first time the drums proper actually come in can you believe it (there are percussion sounds before but i think its a tambourine + a shaker/maraca? essentially not the drumset);; the tension that just the introduction of drums really brings to the piece ahhh and also the chord progressions really take u for a ride the first time u hear it and u dont know what to expect;; and then we get out of the chorus with ‘because im weak and not cool’ as a deviance from the earlier lyrics of ‘my weak and not cool side’ then DRUMTRIPLET!!!!! LAST CHORUS!! MORE DRUM TRIPLETS!! so wonderful the pOWER really the whole song is a huge crescendo ?? kind of influenced by the fact that they keep layering instruments which i absolutely LOVE like its beautiful haha but then the last chorus is just the quickest decrescendo ever as a way to fade out from the song but now with all the instruments (love how the last line really like enforces its importance and lyrical difference from the earlier ‘in the end i was seen’ by having that drum just punch it into u with every hit of the bass drum haha) also like how its not a true circular ending (but it kinda is) like there are instrumental and lyrical differences from the start and the end one thing i kind of wished they experimented with was like maybe mixing up some members voices in the chorus? like i tried a youngpil one myself haha where wonpil sings this part, then youngk, wonpil, youngk (again i hve a video for this but idunno how to upload to this ask) but its not like the song to me suffered from having singular member choruses i just thought it might be kinda cool haha anywhos im biased i love this song and laksj didnt even go into the lyrics rip anyways moving onbest part: i think its really cute that they composed this to be specifically be enjoyed in concert! i really like the best paaaaaaaaa aaaart like that swoop they do and the layering of the vocals i also think its super cool how some of the instrumental drop out towards the end of the chorus but alskj another ‘wanna go back’ transition into the second verse are they experimenting with this transition or smth?? but it just feels like inserted bc they couldnt think of a better way to transition into second verse which?? just kind of awkward akjl idk but maybe they have a reason for it i dont know! but yeah haha again musically im not really sure what to say kinda like for me it just feels like standard pop rock which isnt a bad thing just a /thing/ ahaha 

[bigskydreaming]

I’m three seconds away from a full on mental breakdown on any given day, every given day, and literally the only reason I haven’t yet is because I know that I just fucking fundamentally CANT AFFORD TO, like, that’ll be it, I just can not fucking afford to just collapse in bed and curl up and just.....let myself buckle under the constant pressure and stress I’ve been under for god knows how long, because even a fucking DAY for that, let alone two days or three, like....that’ll just be that much more in the way of expenses I can’t even pay NOW let alone if I miss one or more days of potential work. 

And so I keep going and keep going and I haven’t slept in like two days as is because I’m busting my balls trying to make all the money I need this week even though I KNOW damn well I can’t POSSIBLY do it, that its an impossible goal, like its not even that much money in the grand scheme of things but it might as well be thousands more considering the likelihood of me actually being able to make it and yet I keep burning myself out, using up everything I dont even HAVE to use as it is because I literally cant do anything else like there’s nothing else to do, my only other options are that or just...stopping, and I just cant do that, its not in me. And so I spend every hour of every day tired and stressed and pissed off and pound out a few angry posts on tumblr every time I take an hour or two off from work because I HAVE to, because I’m so stressed and angry my hands are literally shaking and I can’t focus on work because I keep getting distracted by how fucking much I just hate everything right now and I gotta just vent SOMETHING out before I can even get back to work because I feel like a slow pressure cooker that’s been building up pressure and steam and whatever for twenty five fucking years and I have to relieve some of that pressure, I have to vent it to try and keep it from getting to be too much but its not enough, its never enough. And the punchline is it really does feel like there’s this sense of urgency, like Im running out of time, but its not cuz its like all building to some kind of dramatic finish, its not like I’m gonna just fucking EXPLODE at any point once the pressure finally builds up too much, Im not gonna DO anything, its like the complete opposite. Its like...Im scared that one day I’m just gonna wake up and just be like...done. Even though I dont want to be, like Ill still want to get out of bed and work and try and do all the things I need to do and FIX shit, do the stuff that I’ve spent all this time working towards so I can finally have some kind of LIFE something thats not just a never ending cycle of get up, work, eat, sleep, 7 days a week, 30 days a month, over and over....I just won’t be able to. Like I’ll be all used up, nothing left, I’ve tapped it all, no more fuel in the tank. That’s what I’m afraid of and that’s why I’m so. fucking. mad. all. the. time. because I dont want that, its the last thing I want and Im afraid nothing I can do can stop that from becoming a reality and that just makes me more pissed off and like...fuck. I dont have big asks, I dont have big dreams, I dont want that much, and it just makes me more mad how pathetically small my wildest fantasies are right now and how unreachable they are anyway, even when, haha, funny joke, they’re all things that aren’t inherently impossible or out of reach they’re just ENOUGH out of reach that its like the universe fucking mocking me with what I want but will never get. 

I want a fucking jaw that works. I want a day where my head doesn’t feel like its gonna split out of my skull. I want to be able to watch or read something and just ZONE out and relax for the hour that takes without being distracted half the time anyway because shouldnt I be working right now, I want to not have to worry every. fucking. day. about having a roof over my head tomorrow, if this will be the night I end up sleeping on the street again, I want to not have to have a friend check I’ve eaten every day and not gone a couple days without eating just to have an extra twenty bucks towards rent, I want to be able to walk in a straight line without falling over, to be able to go outside and TALK to people, to fucking exercise again, because fuck, I never went to the gym because of muscles, exercise is one of the only non medication things that actually gets my brain working right, keeps me motivated and my stress down and without it Im stuck relying twice as much on medication that gets less and less effective every day because of my stupid fucking metabolism like hahaha great I have a skinny waist, thats really helpful in my celibate hermitage you know what I’d like even more though? 

BEING ABLE TO FUCKING USE THE MEDS THAT MAKE MY BRAIN ACTUALLY PRODUCTIVE FOR MORE THAN THREE HOURS AT A TIME BEFORE THEY WEAR OFF AND I GOTTA POP ANOTHER ONE. I have all these things I want to do and NONE of them are big, none of them are OUT there, like, I just want to fucking be able to write and tell stories and go to the movies every now and then and I cant fucking do any of that because my entire fucking goddamn life is nothing but a never ending cycle of spending every waking moment and every ounce of energy and willpower on just fucking staying alive, and not even so I can do any of those things, do anything that matters, no, just to KEEP doing the same shit over and over and over without actually going anywhere, getting any closer to my goals, like I’ve stalled or made it as far as this fucking anchor around my ankle will let me go or there’s just this fucking wall in my way and that’s it, doesn’t matter how far I acme to get here thats as far as I get, everything I try to get past it, to keep going, it all just ends up being just barely enough to keep me right where I am, treading water, not dragged back and having to do it all over again at least but what difference does it make when this is as far as I can get and Im fucking STUCK and THIS, HERE does me no fucking good, like what the fuck is that even? 

And I know that there’s no answer to that, I know there’s no fucking point, it just is what it is, things just happen and that’s all, that’s the entire punchline of my entire fucking goddamn soap opera trainwreck of a life and every stupid fucking thing thats ever happened, there is no point, there is no WHY, it just fucking HAPPENED and if I had the tools to get past that fucking wall, I could DEAL with that, I could make my peace with that, but stuck on this side of it not being able to go any further I just can’t wrap my head around it, I cant accept it, I cant be okay with something thats true whether or not Im okay with it, and I KNOW all that and so Im stuck. Im stuck being tired and Im stuck being angry and Im angry I’m tired and I’m tired of being angry and it just keeps going and going and Im afraid thats all its ever gonna do, is keep going and going and going until I just...run out of steam. Dont reblog please. I just needed to fucking scream this somewhere other than my head so my head can maybe shut up about it and try a new song for a change.

[calabreza606-blog]

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[ac-ars]

easy

damn she is here, i couldnt write anything yesterday becauseeee i was at work and i had exam today and then i procrastinated but yes she is here

day 4 - “We’re roommates and we’ve barely interacted so far, but one night there’s a thunderstorm and I’m a serious astraphobic and come into your room shaking because I don’t know what else to do and you lull me to sleep by stroking my hair”

🌙

easy

Matteo can't really tell what wakes him up in the middle of the night. Was it a thunder or maybe the light on in the kitchen he can see, because he left the door of his bedroom open since it's been hot as fuck recently and the more air flow he can get the better. Anyway Lyra isn't really anywhere near him as she tends to, but maybe she is with Luna, who knows, his cat is a traveller since Luna moved in and he doesn't mind, but she is kinda scared of storms so he would love to have her here.

But the light is on in the kitchen, and despite the fact that he doesn’t wanna, he needs to go and check on whoever (most likely Luna) has a problem over there. Maybe she is getting her night snack? Though, this would be weird, because she decided to stop with this habit. He knows that mostly from the sticker on the fridge she probably put it and he can’t say he isn’t proud of her.

Matteo gets up eventually with a heavy sigh and stretches himself yawning loudly. He leaves his room and finds Luna in the kitchen with Lyra sitting next to her on the counter while the Mexican girl is making some tea.

“Can’t sleep?” he asks and regrets it immediately, because she jumps so much she almost throws her mug off the counter making Lyra meow.

“Jesus Christ Matteo Balsano don’t you dare to scare me like that, please,” she mumbles, trying to chill her breathing and closing her eyes for a moment. “Why are you here?”

“I would love to ask you the same question, did something happen?”

She hums playing with the spoon in the mug. “Not really, I just couldn’t sleep. Now why you?”

Matteo hums caressing his jaw. “Something woke me up and I noticed light on, so I decided to check what’s going on.”

Luna nods, not saying anything else, just focuses on the electric kettle until it turns off. This is all kinds of weird for Luna, who is usually all bubbly and talkative while now she said nothing to make a conversation.

They aren’t the best of friends, she actually isn’t living with him that long, she needed a place to stay for now, because she decided she can’t live with her best friend who keeps setting her up with every boy existing and mixing with her head while trying to give her some good advice. Matteo understands that it can be pretty annoying and Ambar said her cousin was looking for a place to live, actually a room, since she cant afford whole apartment. He actually needed someone to move in after Gaston gave up on Argentina and left to England without saying bye.

So Luna moved in with her mess and colorful stuff, leaving flowers everywhere and leaving books around. Surprisingly Matteo never minded that, she is still better than Gaston who kept telling him puns about every single thing in their apartment, and when at first it was just annoying, the puns itself, later it was too much the same jokes one by one and generally at the end Matteo wished him to choke on his dumb puns.

She is always in good mood, always singing something, and humming, dancing while cooking some basic shit, because for the love of the universe, she can’t cook at all. But now, here he has her, looking around anxiously and biting on her lower lip as she is pouring the hot water into her mug.

“Hey, you,” he murmurs and pokes her on the ribs when she puts the kettle away. “What is going on?”

She opens her mouth to say something, but another lightning blinks behind the curtains and her eyes shut close when she waits for the thunder to come. When it does she shivers and takes deep breath and Matteo guesses that she is scared of the thunder or something so he takes his arm around her shoulders. “Do you want me to stay with you here?”

Luna sends him a look, mixing her tea so the sugar can melt in there, and nods a little, leaning to his side. Lyra mrrows at them, making them laugh slightly and Luna looks up at him. “Do you wanna some tea too?”

Before he manages to answer, she already stands high, high on her tiptoes so she is the tallest Luna, and reaches to the high cupboard to get Matteo his own mug. She of course picks his favorite, what makes him smile. Without saying anything, just listening to the sound of the rain hitting the glass of the windows, he watches how she takes the tea and doesn’t put any sugar in the mug before pouring the rest of the water. He is kinda surprised with how quickly this girl picks up on others’ habits, always remembering what one likes and what they don’t, but that’s a very big pro of living with her.

He stands next to her, leaning his hips back against the counter as they wordlessly drink their tea and as surprised as Matteo is in this very minute, it’s such a calming time, where he can think of whatever he wants, while making sure Luna isn’t shivering anymore when a lightning strikes somewhere away from them.

“Do you want to know a secret?” he asks eventually, as he is done with his tea and Lyra jumps annoyed after he puts his empty mug on the counter next to her.

Luna scrunches her nose as she takes her eyes to him, maybe a little troubled to get out of her thoughts, but she hums encouraging him to speak more.

“I can teach you how to count the distance from where the lightning did strike.” He sends her a smile as she gasps surprised and jumps excited. “Yes, teach me. I wanna know.”

🌙

They are in the living room now, Luna’s tea half forgotten as they are standing by the window, his cold hands are on her shoulders keeping her steady, because now she seems excited instead of anxious, and that’s already blink of “his” Luna here.

He hums softly next to her ear to get her attention back to him and when she does he smiles. “Now we gotta wait for the lightning to appear somewhere so we can see it. When we do, you count seconds starting when the lightning hits, and you count until you hear the thunder. Is it clear?” he asks to make sure and Luna nods surely, while nibbling on her lower lip.

They gotta wait few minutes, but when it blinks, the brunette starts counting in her head and he knows it, because now her eyes are much more focused and her mouth are moving barely, but they are.

When the thunder sounds loudly she jumps, but he is holding her close, so she doesn’t seem to mind that. “How much was it?” he asks, resting his chin on top of her head.

“Nine, I think.” She turns to him and he leans her against the cold window and she pouts at him when he doesn’t answer at first. Such an impatient, soft soul. “So you have nine seconds and you gotta divide it by three, then you will get how many kilometers away from you the lightning did strike at first place. Well, more or less, but that’s helpful, you get to focus on something when the storm is somewhere around.”

Luna nods slowly and smiles a little at him. “Thanks, that actually calmed me down a bit here.”

“You haven’t told me you were scared of thunderstorms before, though. You could’ve and it would be easier since the beginning.”

She clears her throat and blushes tiny, before moving away from him and curling on the couch. He follows her, because why not, besides it’s easier to see her and hear her in the darkness and while the rain is getting heavier.

“I’m not really, really scared of the thunders tho,” she mumbles and Matteo frowns a little, resting next to her more comfy than not, but she doesn’t mind him so close. “I’m just paranoid after this movie I saw the other day where some lightning struck something, and it started burning, and I’m just the most terrified of fire.”

Her voice gets a little messy and quiet, and he just hugs her tightly, what apparently surprises her, but eventually Luna just hides on his chest and sighs. “It’s not something that keeps happening often, but Lyra was messing with my comforter to get cuddles so it kinda woke me up, and then there was this loud, super close thunder and I died.”

Matteo starts humming and playing with her hair as she talks and when she stops he just boops her nose. “Still, that’s okay thing to be afraid of, it’s not like I would make fun of you like I do when you sing loudly under the shower or wash your teeth while looking in the mirror. We all are scared of something.”

Luna hums and looks up at him. “Are you scared of something then?”

“No.” He laughs and she huffs. “But I am big Matteo and I’m here to hug you and make you hot chocolate when you are scared.”

“There was no chocolate yet, where is it?”

He laughs so much and pulls her closer. “Later. Now we shall sleep, since tomorrow is not a weekend and we both have uni and other important shit.”

Luna rolls her eyes and gets up, taking the blanket around her shoulders. As she is about to get into her bedroom, he just takes her wrist and pulls her back. “You don’t think I will leave you to sleep alone, even if you seem to be okay already.”

She hums, ending up just lacing their fingers together and following him. “So I’m gonna sleep with you in one bed, and we cuddle with Lyra until the storm is done?” Matteo laughs when she says it. Out loud it seems a little funnier, but yeah that’s what he is planning to do, but he doesn’t confirm or deny her words.

He takes the pillow, obviously, making her pout a little, but then he just pulls her to his chest, so she can rest like that. At first she stirs around, trying to get into some comfy position to stay in, despite the fact that he is sure she just needs to move around, because she wouldn’t be named Luna Valente.

Eventually she rests in one place, letting him pull a cover over them, Lyra mrrows trying to get somewhere between them, but when she doesn’t fit her tiny head anywhere, she just sticks by Matteo’s side letting him scratch her belly for a moment.

Luna sticks to him tightly, she obviously loves being touchy, cuddle, hug, whatever can someone give her as long as it’s physical closure, and there is nothing here except the need of someone else who is warm to hold her. Matteo knows it perfectly, he learned that she is just the type of person who is better comforted, when hugged.

He starts playing with her hair as he can’t really fall asleep, he wraps single strands around his fingers, tangles a little more than those curls already are, and in a few moments her lashes tickle him on the neck for the last time, and her breathing is finally stable.

🌙

Few weeks later, this time he isn’t woken up by the light, or Lyra, or the thunder itself. He just notices someone curling next to him under the sheets and hugging him tightly, so he guesses he can sleep and not try to shut the blinds on the window. The sleep comes back super quickly, he is lulled to very, very quiet sound of soft whispers with counting, and as long as she is here, he knows that she is all okay.

[patriotsnet]

What Did Obama Say About Republicans

New Post has been published on https://www.patriotsnet.com/what-did-obama-say-about-republicans/

What Did Obama Say About Republicans

Etymology Of Obama Republican

Fmr. President Obama Mocks Trump’s Middle-Class Tax Cut: âCongress Isnât Even In Sessionâ | NBC News

On February 12, 2008, Barack Obama mentioned Obama Republicans in his Potomac primary victory speech: “We are bringing together Democrats and independents, and yes, some Republicans. I know there’sI meet them when I’m shaking hands afterwards. There’s one right there. An Obamacan, that’s what we call them.” In another speech, he said, “We, as Democrats right now, should tap into the discontent of Republicans. I want some Obama Republicans!” In his call for Republican votes, Obama referred to Ronald Reagan, who he says “was able to tap into the discontent of the American people … to get Democrats to vote Republicanthey were called Reagan Democrats.”

RepublicansforObama.org was founded in December 2006 by John Martin, a US Navy reservist. The organization grew to include over 2,500 registered members from across the United States, and was featured in USA Today, The New Yorker and other media throughout the 2008 Presidential Campaign.

Republican And Conservative Support For Barack Obama In 2008

United StatesPresidentBarack Obama, a member of the Democratic Party, was endorsed or supported by some members of the Republican Party and by some political figures holding conservative views in the 2008 election. Although the vast majority of Obama’s support came from liberal constituencies, some conservatives identified in him shared priorities or other positive attributes. As in any election, voters can and sometimes do cross party lines to vote for the other party’s nominee. Republican and conservative Obama supporters were often referred to as “Obama Republicans“, “Obamacans” or “Obamacons“.

Republican and conservative supporters of Obama included elected officials, former elected officials, academics, commentators, and retired military officers. According to exit polls on Election Day, 9% of those who identified themselves as Republicans voted for Barack Obama, conflicting with polling data gathered by The Economist in October 2008 reporting 22% of conservatives favored Obama, up slightly from the 6% of self-identified Republicans who voted for John Kerry in 2004.

Moment Of Shame: Obama Calls On Republicans To Speak Out In Response To Us Capitol Violence

Former US President Barack Obama condemned the violence that took place at US Capitol on Wednesday and said history will remember the incident as one incited by the sitting President and it was a moment of great dishonour and shame for America.

Hundreds of Trump supporters entered the US Capitol in a bid to overturn his election defeat. The violence that followed led to the death of one woman. The Senate, which was disrupted in its process of certification of Biden as the winner in the November 3 election, resumed it soon after officials declared Capitol secure.

Heres my statement on todays violence at the Capitol, Obama tweeted.

Barack Obama

Read full statement:

History will rightly remember todays violence at the Capitol, incited by a sitting president who has continued to baselessly lie about the outcome of a lawful election, as a moment of great dishonor and shame for our nation. But wed be kidding ourselves if we treated it as a total surprise.

For two months now, a political party and its accompanying media ecosystem has too often been unwilling to tell their followers the truth – that this was not a particularly close election and that President-Elect Biden will be inaugurated on January 20. Their fantasy narrative has spiraled further and further from reality, and it builds upon years of sown resentments. Now were seeing the consequences, whipped up into a violent crescendo.

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Obama Says Republican Party Has Become Unrecognisable In Shift That Started With Palin

In this screengrab, Former president Barack Obama speaks during the Celebrating America Primetime Special on 20 January 2021

Expressing worry about Americas state of democracy, Barack Obama criticised the Republican party for being cowed into accepting positions that would be unrecognisable and unacceptable even five years or a decade ago.

In an interview with CNNs Anderson Cooper, the former president said when he left the White House, he thought there were enough institutional safeguards in place, including the Republican establishment.

He said he did not believe things would get this dark when Sarah Palin in 2008 brought the dark spirits such as xenophobia, anti-intellectualism, paranoid conspiracy theories, an antipathy toward Black and brown folks to the centre stage of the modern Republican Party.

I thought that there were enough guardrails institutionally that even after Trump was elected, he said.

The degree to which we did not see the Republican establishment say hold on, time out, not acceptable but rather be cowed into accepting positions that would be unrecognisable and unacceptable even five years ago or a decade ago…, Mr Obama said.

In his memoir, A Promised Land, Obama blamed Ms Palin for ushering a shift in the Republican party towards populist sentiment at its centre.

He, however, lauded some Republicans including Georgia secretary of state Brad Raffensperger for being very brave and standing up to Mr Trump.

Read More

Ies Run Even On Key Issues

The Republican Party runs about even with the Democratic Party on three key issues: the economy, immigration and gun control. In recent years, neither political party has held a decisive advantage on these issues. The Democratic Party led on the economy through much of George W. Bushs second term and Obamas first year in office. But since 2010, about as many have favored the GOP as the Democrats.

Similarly, neither party has had a consistent advantage on dealing with immigration. The current survey finds opinion split evenly; Democrats held a slim advantage in late 2012, while Republicans held a slight edge in 2011.

And while the gun debate has drawn significant public attention over the past four months , it has not resulted in an advantage for either political party. In the immediate wake of the shootings in Newtown, Conn., Americans were divided over which party could better address gun control, and that divide persists today.

Independents are split over which party can do the better job on key issues. Overall, 38% of independents say the Republican Party could do the better job on the economy while nearly as many say the Democratic Party. Similarly, independents are divided over who can better address immigration and gun control . On all three issues, about a quarter of independents volunteer no preference between the two parties.

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Obama: More Moderate Republican Than Socialist

The president rejected criticism from conservatives that he is a socialist.

Obama: I Would Be Considered Moderate Republican in the 80’s

During an interview with Noticias Univision 23, the network’s Miami affiliate newscast, Obama pushed back against the accusation made in some corners of south Florida’s Cuban-American and Venezuelan communities that he wants to instill a socialist economic system in the U.S. The president said he believes few actually believe that.

“I don’t know that there are a lot of Cubans or Venezuelans, Americans who believe that,” Obama said. “The truth of the matter is that my policies are so mainstream that if I had set the same policies that I had back in the 1980s, I would be considered a moderate Republican.”

See Also:

Obama’s comments come amid the contentious debate over how to resolve the “fiscal cliff,” in which the White House and Congress are trying to figure out whether to extend a series of tax cuts set to expire at the end of the year while staving off steep spending cuts to domestic and defense programs set to go into place at the beginning of 2013.

For years amid the brooder debate over taxes and the size of government, Obama has been characterized by some on the right as a socialist who wants to redistribute wealth. They cite Obama’s healthcare law in particular as a massive increase in the size of government.

Michelle Obama Says Gop Is Willing To ‘tear Down Democracy’ Urges Dem Turnout In Georgia Runoffs

“We cant just vote for President and think that our job is done,” wrote Obama on Twitter

In a series of tweets published one day before Georgia’s Senate run-off election, former First Lady Michelle Obama urged voters to turn out, saying a vote for the Democratic candidates would be “another step toward cleaning up the mess of the past four years.”

The eight-tweet-long thread offered a strongly-worded rebuke of both;Donald Trump and the Republican Party in general, which Obama said had amplified the president’s false claims about election fraud while ignoring the ongoing coronavirus pandemic.

“Your vote is your voice. Its your power. And right now, from the President of the United States on down, were seeing and hearing just how desperate some are to take that power away,” Obama wrote. “They want us to believe that their pride is more important than our democracy.”

She continued: “And this is just unconscionable at a time when a staggering number of Americans are dying every day from a virus that was downplayed for far too long. Its unconscionable to focus on overturning an election rather than helping struggling families or distributing a vaccine.”

RELATED: Michelle Obama Recalls Putting Her ‘Anger Aside’ for Transition of Power to Donald and Melania Trump

“These runoffs will decide whether President-Elect Biden has a Senate that will work with him rather than just obstruct him at every turn,” Obama continued.

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The Affordable Care Act

In 2013, Senator Ted Cruz responded to the question “Why Donât We Impeach ?” with “Good question… and Iâll tell you the simplest answer: To successfully impeach a president you need the votes in the U.S. Senate.” That year, when asked if Obama had committed impeachable offenses on immigration and health care, Cruz said the implementation of the Affordable Care Act was “lawless”, and said of impeachment, “Thatâs a question for the House ultimately… My responsibility would be to render judgment.”

Congressional Opposition To Impeachment

Republicans react to Obama’s success

A number of prominent Republicans rejected calls for impeachment, including House SpeakerJohn Boehner, and Sen. John McCain. McCain said impeachment would be a distraction from the 2014 election, and that if “we regain control of the United States Senate we can be far more effective than an effort to impeach the president, which has no chance of succeeding.” Rep. Blake Farenthold said that impeachment would be “an exercise in futility.”

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Ways Obama Tries To Work With Republicans And Is Rejected

To President Obamaâs critics, he will never bring about the era of bipartisan cooperation that he campaigned on in 2008, but the facts prove otherwise.

The presidentâs nomination of conservative Republican Chuck Hagel to his cabinet is just another example in a long line of Obamaâs attempts to reach across the aisle and work with a recalcitrant Republican minority. Here are a few other gems, as we highlight some of Obamaâs most bipartisan gestures of his first term and the Republican response.

1) Keeping Robert Gates as secretary of defense

In January, 2009: Obama is inaugurated and immediately seeks out Republican lawmakers willing to work with his new agenda. He makes it a point to maintain Robert Gates as his Secretary of Defense. Some Republicans on the Hill even whisper that Obama was working with them more than Bush ever did.

Republican response in January, 2009: Rush Limbaugh welcomes the president with a hearty âI hope he fails.”

2) Obama meets with pro-choice and pro-life advocates

In May, 2009: Obama begins the first of several sessions meeting with pro-choice advocates and their detractors in order to help design legislation that protects both the lives of women and the unborn.

3) Obama listens to Republicans on health care

4) Obama compromises on 2010 budget deal

5) Obama compromises on “fiscal cliff”

Public Debate Over Impeachment Demands

In terms of background, U.S. public opinion widely opposed efforts made to impeach previous Presidents Bill Clinton and George W. Bush. CNN Polling Director Keating Holland has stated that their organization found that 69% opposed impeaching President Bush in 2006.

According to a July 2014 YouGov poll, 35% of Americans believed President Obama should be impeached, including 68% of Republicans. Later that month, a CNN survey found that about two thirds of adult Americans disagreed with impeachment efforts. The data showed intense partisan divides, with 57% of Republicans supporting the efforts compared to only 35% of independents and 13% of Democrats.

On July 8, 2014, the former Governor of Alaska and 2008 RepublicanVice Presidential nomineeSarah Palin publicly called for Obama’s impeachment for “purposeful dereliction of duty”. In a full statement, she said: “Itâs time to impeach; and on behalf of American workers and legal immigrants of all backgrounds, we should vehemently oppose any politician on the left or right who would hesitate in voting for articles of impeachment.”

Andrew McCarthy of the National Review wrote the book Faithless Execution: Building the Political Case For Obama’s Impeachment, which argued that threatening impeachment was a good way to limit executive action by Obama .

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Obama Explains His Remark About Punishing Enemies

After House Minority Leader John Boehner chided him for using the term “enemies”in a conversation last week with Univision Radio, President Obama offered an explication for his remark in an interview today with talk radio host Michael Baisden.

Following is Mr. Obama’s “enemies” quote from the Univision interview:

“If Latinos sit out the election instead of saying, ‘We’re gonna punish our enemies, and we’re gonna reward our friends who stand with us on issues that are important to us’ — if they don’t see that kind of upsurge in voting in this election — then I think it’s going to be harder. And that’s why I think it’s so important that people focus on voting on November 2nd.”

Here is what Boehner said about Mr. Obama’s use of the word “enemies” in prepared remarks for a speech Monday night.

Mr. Obama told Baisden that he should have used the word, “opponents,” rather than “enemies” . According to his language parsing, presumably some Republicans candidates are “opponents,” not “enemies,” of provisions, such as comprehensive immigration reform. Understood?

Obama: Gop Blocked 500 Bills

President Barack Obama is railing against congressional Republicans, telling a Hollywood crowd that the midterm elections are crucial because the GOP is willing to say no to everything.

The president, speaking at a Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee event Wednesday evening hosted at Walt Disney Studios Chairman Alan Horns home, said Republicans have been obstructionist since even before he took office.

Their willingness to say no to everything the fact that since 2007, they have filibustered about 500 pieces of legislation that would help the middle class just gives you a sense of how opposed they are to any progress has actually led to an increase in cynicism and discouragement among the people who were counting on us to fight for them, Obama said of Republicans.

The conclusion is, well, nothing works, the president continued. And the problem is, is that for the folks worth fighting for for the person whos cleaning up that house or hotel, for the guy who used to work on construction but now has been laid off they need us. Not because they want a handout, but because they know that government can serve an important function in unleashing the power of our private sector.

Obama opened by saying that he is in trouble at home, because in 2012 he had told his wife, first lady Michelle Obama, that he had run his last campaign.

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Trump Says He Wants To Box Biden On 9/11

Former President Barack Obama said Republicans have been “cowed into accepting” a series of positions that “would be unrecognizable and unacceptable even five years ago or a decade ago,” telling CNN’s Anderson Cooper he is worried about the state of democracy in the United States in an exclusive interview that aired Monday.

Obama Says He’d Be Seen As Moderate Republican In 1980s

President Obama said his economic policies are “so mainstream” he’d be considered a moderate Republican in the 1980s.

In a Thursday interview with a Miami-based local television station, Obama said he thinks few people believe he wants to impose socialism on the country.

“I mean, what I believe in is a tax system that is fair,” he continued. “I don’t think government can solve every problem. I think that we should make sure that we’re helping young people go to school. We should make sure that our government is building good roads and bridges and hospitals and airports so that we have a good infrastructure.

“I do believe that it makes sense that everyone in America, as rich as this country is, shouldn’t go bankrupt because someone gets sick, so the things I believe in are essentially the same things your viewers believe in,” Obama said.

Conservatives frequently raise concern that Obama has turned the U.S. toward socialism, pointing to Obama’s healthcare law and the stimulus bill the president championed shortly after taking office.

After Obama won reelection, former GOP vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin on Fox News said his win would be catastrophic for the U.S. economy because “Obama’s socialist policies” will “destroy America’s working class as he outsources opportunities.”

“I don’t know that there are a lot of Cubans or Venezuelans, Americans who believe that,” Obama said.

Here’s a full transcript of the interview with Obama:

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[irregulardiaryposts]

16:35 01/03/2021

so. its now march!!!!! march is an okay month. but it also means its been a year since corona really kicked off and thats proper weird to think about. it feels like absolutely fuck all has actually changed but yet im a very different person yk. i played minecraft for 10 hrs last week. im addicted to it. this time last year i was kinda sick and we thought i had corona but since testing wasnt really available i just had to stay home ages. it was horrible but to think that was a whole YEAR ago is absolutely fucking wild. 

anyway back to minecraft. i absolutely love it. its such a simple game and you can truly play however you want to. like. if u dont want to bother beating the enderdragon or doing any serious grind stuff, you can literally just fuck about doing whatever you wanna do... u wanna build a little cottage in the woods? yes. u wanna pick lowers and decorate and build cute farms? yes. u wanna explore a vast and expansive world filled with literally endless possibilities and find pets and loot and different biomes and blocks? yes. you wanna mess around with ur friends? yes. u wanna do pvp or multiplayer games? yes. u wanna meet new people? yes. u wanna play by yourself and become exceedingly rich? yes. u wanna do all this and comforted by the melodic tunes and beautiful landscapes? yesssssssss. it literally has something for everyone but people get so pissy about how others play its soooo annoying. like so what if someone wants to go into creative and cheat or they wanna play on peaceful or they have keep inventory on? they are playing the game in the way they enjoy the most, the way that makes them happiest, makes them comforted, allows then to enjoy playing it. coz i bet if everyone was made to play the exact same way and there was no way to customise your experience, it would not be nearly as popular as it is. it probs wouldve died out if people werent enjoying it because they got frustrated by it, or too scared to lose their things to progress in the game, or too anxious to play because its scary and they dont know how to beat things. or if people play solely in creative and they enjoy that the most and wanna try survival, they dont deserve to get made fun of coz they want to ease their way into harder things. or if someone just wants to build or just explore or just tame a million dogs, as long as they are happy they are already enjoying the game to the max, they dont deserve people being like “ if u play without X youll enjoy it more coz thats the way we play it” like fuck off it would be like if a hardcore players was like “play in hardcore or ur stupid” ppl would get mad because thats not the way they want to play it and they wouldnt enjoy it as much or at all as the hardcore player does. and dont even get me started on this whole bedrock vs java bs. this its such a waste of time like??? who benefit from this argument? because its silly java players think they are automatically better than every bedrock player because they have java. 

like obviouslyyyyyy java is better and im sure a lot of bedrock players would rather java, but u cant lie and say that a lot of og players didnt start on bedrock and then upgrade to java, because as kids u cant really afford a proper pc but everyone has an xbox or an ipad lol. like they literally forget that they probably started playing on bedrock too. and its so stupid because yes while bedrock is a little shit in comparison to java, ITS STILL THE SAME FUCKING GAME just be glad were not fucking fortnite players jesus its pathetic. yes this is essentially a minecraft post and what fucking about it. i told u im obsessed with it. 

i should talk about something else. perhaps my crippling procrastination? its absolutely abysmal how shit at school i am now. i get two unconditional offers and suddenly i think i dont need to do a single bit of work (its kinda true tho) i only have three classes and in doing 1 and 1/2 of them. im not even bothering studying for prelims/exams whatever the fuck because im hopeless. theres no point because even if i do end up doing the exam and i fail theres absolutely no consequences because i have 0 shame. ill walk out of an exam i failed with my head held high because i know uni will be so much better - ill only have one subject, one i actually enjoy and want to do work for (only somewhat tho, my procrastination problems still carry through, im actually doing this instead of a 15 min thing for class but whatever) ill have a reduced working day, i can focus on just one subject, ill have other things to work on too like a part time (scary) and car (exciting) and ill get to meet new people that also want to learn spanish and are interested in it too, and i want to make more friends and i want to be more independent (moving out??? hopefully but also scary) 

i cant believe im actually at a point in my life where im actually interested in the future and want to live to see it (lol yeah) like i wonder what 13 yo me would think. even 15 yo me. i wonder how 20 yo me will look back on this. hi me if ur reading. do u have a s/o?? or new friends? how many new experiences have u had? are u comfortable in ur life? struggling ? happy? i hope ur happy coz u deserve to be. i deserve to be. i hope u have a good time reading these. i dont know if ill ever forget about this blog or not. what was i talking about tho. procrastination. its horrible, I hope u get that fixed pls tell me u do. also please tell me u get better at typing.  this has accidently turned into a speaking to ur future self thing. ill stop now. 

im a very good procrastinator. and my ability to actually focus on stuff has been getting comical. idk if its the pandemics fault or mine or schools but is a bloody issue and it needs to get better. i guess its coz i just have absolutely 0 energy do do what i need to or it just absolutely does not interest me to do it and i know theres absolutely no consequences to it looool. 

every now and then theres a day where i feel very unproductive and lazy and it feels like how it used to. a sort of growing annoyance at myself and feeling like a slug. idk some days i feel teleported back to like almost 4 years ago and idk what to do about it. i used to have a coping mechanism (?) where if i felt bad about stuff id just shower, wash my hair and put on new pjs and do something i wanted to do. it kinda put me in a clearer headspace and allowed be to get out of a slump for like 20 mins. u could call it self care or whatever but it genuinely was like washing the bad thoughts away and starting anew (is that the word) like i was able to think more rationally and get back into the semi real world but i was also doing it because i never used to have a proper shower routine, i used to go days without showering or getting out of bed for much and it kinda feels good to have this little reboot thing where i just shower to get me away from straying back there. 

idk. am i articulating well enough. ive written a lot i think. is there any more updates? nothing really apart from my growing disinterest in all things school lmao. anyway until next time i suppose (will probs be either never or like june lol)