#i cant believe this line came out of me lol

[mainfaggot]

just watched challengers at the cinema w my little sister. it was so intense wtf

[wosoamazing]

How Could You Do That - Too Late To Be Fair Pt.2

Warnings: Cheating, 'details' of kissing, mentions of self doubt, emotional insecurity, swearing, panic attack kind of, let me know if anything else.

A/N: note there has been a small change in Part 1 - more specifically the line that mentions Beth’s ACL and her Mum…. Also lets ignore the big obvious timeline issue - just pretend Leah did her ACL in the past prior to the most recent one, that’s why Beth and Viv weren’t public/known yet (just go along with it lol). Also this did not go where I expected it to go, originally it was very different (which is why I made up a character, but while writing the plan changed it just kind of happened). Last but not least (so much to say lol) do you want a part 3?

Your eyes stared at the door so hard you could’ve burned a hole in the door, you had seen a photo, a photo of Leah kissing a girl, no let’s rephrase that, a photo of Leah making out very heavily with a random girl in a bar, you didn’t even know she went out, you knew she went to dinner thats why you were home and she wasn’t, but out, she hadn’t told you that, let alone the fact that she had plans to kiss a random girl in a bar.

The second you heard keys in the door you bolted up, as the door opened you crossed your arms and glared at her figure walking through.

“Hi baby, everything okay?” she asked clearly tipsy, you felt as though literal steam was coming out of your ears, you were so unbelievably mad at her, angry with her. 

“I cant fucking believe you, after everything you said to me, just three days ago,”

“What are you on about?”

“Oh yeah, like you can fucking forget making out with someone. Probably happened under an hour ago right?”

“I didn’t mean to.”

“Oh like that is a fucking excuse,” “Let me explain,” “There is nothing to explain, I know everything. You lied to me, honestly youre an impressive liar but thats not the fucking point. The fucking point is that three days ago you promised you were in this for the long run, that you weren’t like the others, that you would never hurt me. I believed you, I believed you were different Leah, I really did. But now we are standing here.” you stormed out the door and slammed it. Hot angry tears falling down your face, you jumped into your car and left, yet again finding yourself in the same position, driving to the one person you could actually trust.

____

You knocked on Beth’s door, often you would just let yourselves into each other;s houses, but there was an extra car in the driveway.

“Beth,” you cried out as you knocked on the door again, more desperately.

“Y/N, coming, are you okay?” her words caused your hot angry tears to turn into big fat hurt tears.

“Shit, Y/N/N come here” Beth said as she opened the door, wrapping her arms around your body, she continued to hold you as she moved to sit on the couch with you “what happened?”.

“S-she k-kissed someone,” “who?” “L-Le-Leah, a-an” you just pulled out your phone and showed the photo.

“I’m going to fucking kill her.” Beth was furious, “I” you tried to speak but your words were choked by the sobs that racked your body, your hands shook for anger whilst the rest of your body shook from your sobs, your chest felt tight, your head felt foggy, “ It's okay. I’m here, I’ve got you. You’re okay,” with every passing minute you felt your chest grow tighter, until you were struggling to breath.

“Y/N, it's okay, can you try and take a deep breath for me?” you shook your head “Viv, can you grab my water bottle,” Viv came running out of Beth’s bedroom, freezing briefly as you both made eye contact before handing the bottle to Beth, and returning to the bedroom. Beth handed you the water bottle, her eyes still intently watching you, you knew what she wanted you to do, you took some small sips trying to regulate yourself slightly, “that's it, deep breath, in, 2, 3, 4, out ,2, 3, 4, again.” Beth’s gaze left you briefly as she turned to see Viv who was leaving, she gave Viv a sorry look before returning her focus back to you, you had calmed down more, you moved to lean against her side, Beth felt the slow shift in your breaths, going from rapid and uneven, to slow and even, she knew you were asleep, but she still didn't move, not wanting to leave you considering how vulnerable you were.

____

“Y/N,” you heard Beth’s soft voice as she shook your body slightly, “I’m going to make dinner, thought you might want to sit and chat.” Sitting and chatting over dinner cooking was something you often did, both debriefing events in your lives over cooking a meal. One of you would cook and the other would sit and watch, you would talk, just about anything and everything.

“Yeah, sounds good, I’m just going to go to the bathroom quickly,” she nodded, before she made her way into the kitchen.

-

“I don't understand,” you said as you slid onto the kitchen bench.

“Honestly neither do I. I can't believe she did that, she made it seem like you were her whole world, I got a different vibe this time.”

“No, I don't understand why Viv was here” you ask, because in all fairness you didn’t, your words caused Beth to blush.

“I think we have more important things to discuss than that” “Like how you are absolutely torturing that meat,” she gave you a look, as you back of the bench, you playfully shoved her out of the way, and you switched positions, “or do you mean how my girlfriend had her tongue down the throat of a complete stranger,” “the second one”.

“I don’t know, I just don’t get it, can you grab the cream, she came in so sweet and innocent, I’ve seen her walk through that door when she needs to tell me something and that wasn't it. I don’t think she had plans to tell me.”

-

“So why was Viv here, we have discussed the more important thing now,” you smirked at Beth.

“I don’t, I just feel close to her, she is really nice, I think I might like her, but I’m not sure.”

“Never been the best at navigating our feelings have we Beth,”

“Hey, at least Dan broke up with me before her mouth was on others,” Beth noticed how your body tensed, “too soon?”

“Too soon?” you said as you nodded agreeing with her.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to,” she leant closer to you to pull you into a hug.

“Beth!” you screeched as some of her pasta fell out of her bowl onto your pants. “Oh sorry,” she said as she sat back up before using her fork to eat the bits of pasta off your leg, causing you both to fall into fits of laughter.

____

“I mean she won’t even hear my side of the story, its like I’m speaking to a blank wall” Leah, your now ex said as the arsenal girls were out for dinner, a dinner you were absent for not wanting to have to face Leah or the awkwardness. 

“Yeah because there is a photo of you making out with another girl in a bar, in addition to the fact you went with none of us and she didn’t even know you were going out out” Katie said.

“I told her, I regretted it the second I did it, the girl asked me if I wanted to go home with her and I said no I have a girlfriend I shouldn't be doing this.” Leah explained her side, trying to defend herself, she was right she had told you that, showing up the next day at Beth’s house, but you didn't believe her and just shut the door in her face to stop her talking.

“But Leah, you don't understand how many times people have done this to her, lulled her into a sense of security and then ripped the rug out from under her. How many times the other side of the story has been that they realised how much reassurance and love she needed and then left, and after what happened the other day I’m not surprised, you literally betrayed every single thing you said to her. Everything you said to her that night you threw out the window the second your lips touched that girl’s lips, let alone when your tongue went in.” Beth defended your honour.

“So the believing I don't love her won't go away, even with what I said the other night.”

“It gets better over time, I mean she doesn’t question me anymore but then again, I’ve never made out with a random girl at the bar just days after I told a girl she was my everything and I would never leave her or hurt her. A girl who is emotionally broken due to her childhood by the way.”

“So the insecurities will never go away, I don't know if I can handle that, always being questioned.” Leah continued, when she really shouldn’t have kept going on.

“Fucking hell Leah, you’re in the wrong here, and you’re concerned about your feelings in a relation with a girl who you have just completely destroyed. So no. No you won't have to handle that ever. If that’s how you are thinking, go. Go far away from her, never talk to her again, you can’t be thinking that.” Beth stood up, and turned away from the table before turning back to Leah, “How have you gone from this girl being your entire world to oh it might be too much overnight, or was it not overnight have you just been leading her on, using her until you could find your next girlfriend.” Beth stormed out, so glad that you weren't there, she now knows how Leah really felt, but also she didn't know what might’ve happened if you were there. 

-

“You’re never talking to her again, I’m not letting her near you.” Beth said as she marches through the door of her apartment.

“Why” you paused the TV, standing up and walking over to her.

“She said she didn't know if she could deal with your constant questioning of yourself and her,” “What?” “She asked if you not 100% believing her would go away, I’m sorry” Beth’s voice broke with her last two words, she just couldn’t believe how many people had done this, and now one of her close friends, she just couldn't understand why they were doing it, you were perfect, smart, caring, talented, pretty and so much more, briefly Beth was wrapped up by her thoughts before she heard you sniff, she quickly escaped her thoughts as she saw a tear rolled down your cheek, followed by many more, they were small soft tears, tears coming from a very deep down broken place. Beth went to hug you, but you pulled away, just had just received confirmation that people really did believe your insecurities and hurt and trauma were a burden, even if they didn't say it to your face.

“No, I’m a burden, don’t worry, I know you would much rather be doing something else.” you began to walk away but Beth grabbed your hand, stopping you, before pulling you back, the action causing your body to collide with hers, causing you to be pressed up against her front, you could feel her warm breath on your cheek. A rush of something ran through you, the feeling unknown but in a good way. Her fingers intertwined with yours, she wiped your tears with her other hand, before it found a place on your lower hip, fitting perfectly. Her eyes darted from yours to your lips and back to yours, you hadn't pulled away yet, you didn't want to, but you didn’t have feelings for each other right.

[the-californicationist]

Guile & Guilt (Ch. 06)

Johnny texts you while he's deployed, but when he calls you one night, you are forced to face your consequences.

MDNI/18+

Link to AO3

OCTOBER, MONDAY MORNING, TWO WEEKS LATER

Your apartment was bathed in the cold gray light of a foggy morning, and you curled your duvet closer around you trying to stave off the dawn’s chill. You’d been awake for a while, which was very uncharacteristic of you. Usually more of a late riser, the only reason for your early bird behavior was Johnny MacTavish. 

He was three hours ahead of you, and every morning, when the sun came up in the Urzikstani hillside, you were sent an image of Johnny’s hand, clutching whatever his breakfast was that day. Sometimes it was a tin cup of black coffee, other times you’d get a banana or a protein bar. But, it was always his giant hand and a sherbet orange sky. This morning, it was cloudy and dark, and his breakfast of choice was a slab of toast, smeared with butter and jam. 

MoChroi: sunrise_sand.jpg

You: wow. quite the delicacy today. cant believe you found actual jam out there

Mo Chroi: bit suspicious. when the food gets better the missions get worse

You: uh oh

Mo Chroi: dinnae fash thief xx

Mo Chroi: writing today?

You: yep. and meeting with my prof

Mo Chroi: what ya got on then

Mo Chroi: give us a show bonnie

Mo Chroi: is it naughty?? lol

You: nope

You: rangers_tee.jpg

You sent a photo of your torso, cutting out your head, wearing his own tee shirt. His typing bubbles percolated along the bottom of the screen immediately. Then, an indignant response:

Mo Chroi: thief!! xx

You: youre the one who stole my hair tie

Mo Chroi: hairtie.jpg

Mo Chroi: needed a hostage

Mo Chroi: your bad habits are rubbin off. stole cap’s clothes out of the shower this morning

Mo Chroi: price_hat.jpg

You: you learn quick mo chroi

His typing bubbles appeared, and then they disappeared. You watched them pop up in the chat and then vanish three more times until finally all you got was silence. This was a common occurrence, so you tried not to overthink it. Over the past two weeks of texting with him, you knew he disappeared sometimes. He’d get a call to go into the field, or there would be some crisis. You wondered if his captain had discovered his prank. 

The room was still cold, and you were reluctant to leave your cocoon of warmth, but you needed to write. You had promised yourself that you’d go into the office early today before your meeting with your major professor. After a deep sigh and some very challenging mental gymnastics, you stuck a leg out and onto the frigid concrete floor.

Your apartment was very modern. So modern, in fact, that it had been a challenge to make it feel homey. There was very little room inside for anything more than a queen bed, a short futon, and your desk. Your bathroom was sleek and full of brutalist, functional, concrete stylings, but the kitchen was barely big enough for a sink and a toaster oven. You had kept the futon for guests, not that you had many (any) visitors, but aside from the stacks of books in the corners of each room, your entire studio was practical to a fault. 

But, it was enough for you and your rescue cat, Marlowe, so you didn’t complain.

On the wall opposite the front door, a huge plexiglass window overlooked the River Kelvin, conveniently situated right across from some student housing so you could access the bus. Not having a car went against your Floridian roots, but you’d fallen in love with the ease of public transportation. 

After throwing on an oversized sweater and a pair of fleece-lined leggings, you slipped on your wellies and headed to the bus stop. You’d brought a big thermos of coffee, ready to face the day. 

Your phone buzzed again.

Pidge: I’m so excited to see you this weekend!! :D

You: me too! is hammie picking me up after all or no

Pidge: Yes, I told him to be at the platform at 4.

You: cool 

Pidge: Have you spoken with my brother?

You paused for a moment, riding the elevator and staring at your phone. You didn’t want to lie to her, but you probably shouldn’t tell her the truth. The truth was that you’d been texting her brother every day since he left for leave. You went with a half-truth instead:

You: yeah a few times why

She did not respond. You waited for the other shoe to drop like a blindfolded prisoner waits for their firing squad. The bus came to your stop, and you climbed on, sitting on the carpeted seat closest to the door, knowing your stop was only three away. 

When you got to your office, your phone buzzed again. You set your bag and your coffee down before you even looked at it, avoiding touching your cell as if it had thorns. 

You flipped over the screen.

Mo Chroi: make it to the office?

You: office.jpg

Mo Chroi: have a good day today thief

Mo Chroi: helicopter1.jpg

Mo Chroi: going on a wee trip. afk xx

You: promise xx

Mo Chroi: promise xx

Promise. Promise. It was you and Johnny’s little code. You hadn’t liked hearing about his “little trips” in the beginning, especially after he had shown you a photo of his truck, riddled with bullet holes. You used to say “good luck”, but you didn’t like that sound of that. You hoped luck had nothing to do with it. So, you just asked him to promise to text you back or to promise to be safe. And he always replied that he promised he would. Now, it had shortened to your one-word ritual. You always said it and he always said it back. 

Another buzz:

Pidge: No reason. He has my phone charge the little nugget.

You: omg lol 

You were not laughing out loud. If anything, you were sighing in relief. 

It took most of the morning, but you fell into a routine. You had your meeting, came back, and wrote some more. Lunch was a pre-packaged lunch box from the student center and a refill on your coffee. You missed dinner. The sun set on you as you finished a critical section of your thesis, looking it over for flow and mistakes. 

Worn out, and finally feeling hungry again, you checked your phone on your way back to the bus stop. No new messages. You waited for the bus, flipping through his photos again as if you would have forgotten them from when you looked at them from last night. Or the night before last. 

You stopped looking at them, challenging yourself to have a non-Johnny thought in your head for once.

Maybe you would make a ramen with eggs in it tonight. 

Maybe he’ll text you back. 

You could watch another episode of that K-drama you liked. 

Maybe he’ll send you a picture of him shirtless.

You could go for a run.

Maybe he will run his tongue back over your —

The bus came. You blocked out your thoughts from your mind, desperate to regain some semblance of control. 

THURSDAY NIGHT

It had been three days, and you still hadn’t heard from him. You tried not to think about all of the terrible reasons why that might be the case. But, you did. You thought about them all the time. Every time you checked your phone or read an email or scrolled through your feeds; it was the only thing you thought about. 

You had his shirt on again, eating leftover Chinese on your futon. You were thinking about all of the things you needed to take care of before tomorrow. It was Pidge’s bridal shower weekend and you were trying to wrangle all the final touches together. You’d rented out Ettrick’s, at Pidge’s request, and you had sent the invites two weeks ago. Almost everyone had RSVP’d yes, so you were looking at nearly 45 people to host. The custom bridal cookies were set for pick up when Hamish took you into town tomorrow afternoon, and the champagne was paid for. And you were dreading it. 

You were excited to be there for Brigette. She had always been there for you. When you first moved to Scotland, you were well and truly alone. But, she met you for lunch almost every day after class, claiming to need her caffeine fix. But, as time went on, you realized she wanted to be friends. Having no one and being in a new country was so tough, but she had made it feel so easy. So, even though you hated the prim and proper social situation of a shower, you resolved to tough it out. 

You put the half-eaten Chinese back in the fridge and climbed into bed. Your phone buzzed as you went to put it on the charger.

Mo Chroi: you up?

Your heart stopped for a moment, making your breath hitch in your chest. You fumbled with your phone, rushing to open his message.

Mo Chroi: camels.jpg

You: omg! are those REAL

You: shes not a camel but ill trade you one critter pic for a Marlowe pic

You: marlowethecat.jpg

Mo Chroi: her cheeks are brilliant lol so big

You: so your mission went okay?

Mo Chroi: lol yeah. and we got the guy who owned the camels to take a cool pic of us. can you tell which one’s me?

Mo Chroi: group_pic.jpg

You: gotta be number 3

Mo Chroi: how’d you know

You: your wide shoulders. and you always stand like that

Mo Chroi: like my shoulders do you

You: yep 

You: you should send me a selfie

There was a long pause. You were a little afraid that you’d overstepped a boundary. Sure, his long, hungry tongue had been buried between your legs three weeks ago, eating you like he was starving, but people were cagey about their online privacy. You backtracked:

You: if you want to. nbd if not

Mo Chroi: selfie.jpg

You checked the image, and your heart sank like a stone. Johnny wore a green and yellow bruise over his eye, and his head had been shaved.

You: you okay? bruise looks nasty

Mo Chroi: you should see the other lad

You: and they shaved you?

Mo Chroi: got a nasty wee cut on the back of my head and doc sheared me like a damn sheep

He sent you a series of frowny faces and sheep emojis, and you felt a wave of calm settle in your chest. The latent fear was still there, and would be until you saw him again, but it was good to know he was alright. 

FRIDAY MORNING

You were back on the bus, toting around your overnight bag, planning on heading to the train straight after your colloquium lecture this afternoon. Your phone had been beeping at you all morning. Johnny was begging for you to record your talk, asking you to let him sit in on your “class”. 

You: johnny its not a class! its just a lecture. we have to give them every now and then to show what we’ve been doing with our research. its not fun. you’d be bored.

Mo Chroi: meirleach! i dinnae care how fun it is. let me see!!

You: campus.jpg

You: look. its all stuffy and campusy. you wouldnt like it

Mo Chroi: youre breaking my heart lass xx

You smiled. He was so bright, and he made you feel like you were so very special. It was no wonder he was such a danger to single women everywhere. Your confidence was soaring.

When you made it to your office, you sent him another picture of your current work. You were writing a short paper on German poems, not really related to your thesis, for a conference coming up in the spring.

You: look. you dont even speak german! it would be like torture

You: german_poem.jpg   

Mo Chroi: so cool. im beggin you. let me watch you. i won’t say a word. 

You: maybe if you come back a little early from leave next time, you can sneak into one

Mo Chroi: if i survive this training, i will. 

Mo Chroi: thinking about seeing you up there teaching. got me all turned on

You sent him an emoji with a shocked look on its face, feigning coy shyness. He was relentless.

Mo Chroi: think youd let me be teachers pet?

You: more like class clown

Mo Chroi: you did seem fond of all of my tricks. wanna see what else i can do?

You: lecture_hall.jpg

You: i have to prep for this talk. keep your naughty thoughts to yourself soldier

Mo Chroi: yes maam 

Mo Chroi: wait!

You: what

Mo Chroi: before you go. what color knickers are you in

Mo Chroi: just trying to imagine your lecture 

Mo Chroi: with accuracy

Mo Chroi: cmon lass. for extra credit

You smiled down at your phone again, knowing your answer was going to win this little back and forth game he was playing.

You: im not wearing any this morning. gonna do my washing at your place.

Mo Chroi: jesus mary and joseph

You: and all the saints?

Mo Chroi: every one of them xx

Your lecture went off without a hitch. You earned yourself a few crowd questions and a round of polite applause. Stopping back by your office on the way out, you grabbed your laptop and headed for the bus stop. You’d forgotten your phone was on silent, and it wasn’t until you made it to the train station that you realized it. Two missed calls from Pidge and three texts from her brother.

You checked the texts as you returned her call, unable to hold yourself back from seeing what he wrote to you.

She answered quickly,

“Hey! Are you on your way?”

“Yep,” you replied, “I’ll be there around three forty-five, I think.”

“Okay, perfect. I just wanted to tell you that we’re adding two more to the list. Anjali invited Steph and Tiff. Is that alright, babes?”

You tried not to groan directly into the mouthpiece,

“Yes! The more the merrier.”

What were you going to do about the seating chart? You’d figure it out later. 

“Fantastic! You’re amazing, hen. You know that?”

“Anything for you, bestie.”

She kissed you over the phone and hung up. You let out that sigh you’d been holding. As much as you loved her, you were ready for your friend’s wedding to be over with..

You checked the messages from Johnny, looking to escape from your thoughts again. He was the perfect distraction.

Mo Chroi: oh fuck no

Mo Chroi: its dog day for training

Mo Chroi: army_dog.jpg

You: you dont like dogs?

Mo Chroi: not these

Mo Chroi: had a bad time with attack dogs in russia a few tours back

The train arrived and you got settled. You weren’t sure how to respond. It was back again, that funny feeling in your chest about him being in constant danger. You didn’t know how to handle it. It wasn’t like you could ask him to stop. That was his job, and he was one of the best. He’d been enlisted on this elite task force, and even though you barely understood what that meant, you knew it was special. What right did you have to stand in the way of his greatness? The world needed Sergeant Johnny MacTavish, and you were just a distraction. 

You waited for him to text again, a distraction for you and you for him. A two-way street. That’s all it was, right? How could it be anything more? 

You thought about his sister. She’d been so painfully clear about her boundaries. You imagined telling her you liked him, telling her you wanted to date him. She’d explode. There’d be Scottish yelling, and Scottish fighting, and Scottish siblings rowing at each other all over the house. You couldn’t do that to her, especially not now. So, you just went back to distracting him.

You: did you get bitten?

Mo Chroi: yeah, right on the belly. those bastards. can you see it 

Mo Chroi: shirtless.jpg

You gasped audibly, hoping no one had heard you on the train. You’d already seen him naked, but having a picture of his bare, muscled torso on your phone was another thing entirely. You glanced around, checking behind you and clutching your screen to your chest, holding it to you shamefully, praying no one saw it. 

You typed a message, then deleted it. You tried again, and then deleted it. You knew he could see your text bubbles popping up, and it embarrassed you to no end. Eventually, you decided to just be honest.

You: youre so damn hot

The wait was going to kill you. Seconds became minutes, which became hours, which became eons. You stared at the bottom of your message like it would disappear if you looked away. You opened the picture of his bare torso again, unable to stop yourself from indulging in his huge body. You knew how those muscles felt, and you wanted to feel them again.

He didn’t respond. Your heart sank like a rock. You felt the train screech to a halt at the station, and it took everything in you to pocket your phone and leave the car.

You marched down to meet Hamish, trying to control the look on your face. 

“Hey! Over here!” he called to you from the carpark.

You saw his smiling face and tried to match his energy,

“Hey! Thanks for coming.”

“You bet,” he said as he took your bags. 

“Can we stop by the bakery around the corner? They’ve got all the cookies and pastries we ordered for tomorrow.”

“Of course, lass. No problem. Hop in.”

Hamish drove you around, the perfect gentleman, carrying box after box of dessert for his fiance’s shower, storing them carefully in the boot of the car. 

“Wow, these smell incredible, don’t they,” he crooned, “Wish I could crash your wee party.”

“No boys allowed,” you said wryly, smiling at him, eliciting a genuine laugh.

The rest of the drive passed in companionable silence. He talked a little about his research, and you shared a bit about yours, mentioning your latest lecture. Otherwise, you checked your phone constantly. 

Then, just as you pulled into the driveway of the MacTavish house, you got a text.

Unknown: Hello this is Captain John Price. Sergeant MacTavish’s phone is dead, and he is making me text you the word: promise. 

You: oh thank you. can you tell him promise back?

Captain: Roger

Your stomach twisted for a different reason now. He wasn’t upset with you, which was a relief, but he had just shipped out on another mission. It was so sudden, it seemed like an emergency. You saved the captain’s number in your phone, just in case. 

After hugging Pidge and helping Hamish with the boxes, you unpacked your bags and started the laundry. You met Pidge in the living room, watching her put the finishing touches on some gift bags.

“These are cute,” you commented, feeling the soft ripple of the ribbons tied around the bags in your fingers. 

“Thanks,” she said as she fixed one of the bows, “Hope I made enough.” 

“They’ll live,” you smiled. 

“Hey, did you hear from Johnny again?”

“Uh…no, why?” You panicked.

“He said he doesn’t have my charger but now that muppet is not answerin’ me. Gonna pop him when he’s down for Christmas, I swear.”

“He’s coming back for the holidays?” You asked, a little too enthusiastically. 

Pidge cut her eyes up at you briefly, responding in a measured voice,

“Yeah, just a week. Why?”

You wracked your brain for a reason, pretending to look at the calendar on your phone. Finally, you said,

“Think he’d drive me up from Glasgow? The train is awful at Christmas.”

“Oh,” she sighed, “God, he’s so irresponsible, babes. Not sure I trust him to get you here on time. But, I’ll threaten him. He’ll do it for me. He’s been so accommodating lately. Johnny boy is like a new man.”

“Oh, really?” You weren’t sure where this conversation was going, but you pried anyway.

“Did you know he paid for the rehearsal dinner? The whole damn thing! Having it at the wee distillery and everything. Right proper party we’ll be havin’. Cannae believe it.”

The Auchentoshan Distillery was Old Kilpatrick’s pride and joy. He’d spent a pretty penny if he’d booked it out for her.

“He loves you,” you confessed softly.  

“He tries to,” she said a little bitterly.

You watched her pack up the bags, and you began to wonder about their relationship with each other. It was clear to you that there was some immovable object that was being pressed upon by some unstoppable force. They were at a quiet, bubbling impasse, ready to boil over at any moment. Yes, they loved each other. But, Johnny and Pidge had diverged somewhere, and it was a rift that needed to be mended. 

The washer buzzed. You went to move over the clothes. 

“I’m heading over to grab the girls. Wanna come?” Pidge asked you, her keys in hand. 

“No room,” you observed, realizing they wouldn’t all fit in the car.

“Ugh, guess you’re right, hen. No worry, we’ll be right back. I’m excited to have a girls’ night.”

“Me, too,” you lied. 

Well, it was a half-lie. You didn’t mind a girls’ night. It was more the fact that you’d have to hide your phone from view as you waited for Johnny to report he was back safe and sound. 

After Pidge left, you crawled into his sheets. The memories of you and your soldier came flooding back again, but this time they swirled together with all of the complexities that you were facing. The simplicity of that brief night you shared had become warped by reality, and you realized you needed to come to terms with your emotions before you got hurt. 

FRIDAY EVENING

Your phone buzzed in your hand, waking you. It was warm from being on the charger and covered up by your body. You hoped that didn’t break anything. Sleep had taken you over like a surging wave. You didn’t realize how exhausted you were from your week. 

Unknown: heyyyyy this is soaps mate kyle. he wanted to let you know we’re back. 

You: thanks for letting me know

Kyle: you bet

You were kicking yourself. You should have asked if he was okay. Just when you were about to ask Kyle to check on him, you heard the keys jingle in the door. Swinging your feet to the wooden floor, you got out of bed and met the gaggle of ladies in the foyer.

Cheek kisses, bright hellos and how-are-yous filled the once-quiet house, and you pocketed your phone, trying to distance yourself from the pang of concern. 

You tried to keep up with the fast-paced conversation, but you weren’t the social butterfly that Pidge was. Anjali, Bekah, and Cherise were all gushing about their own lives, and you had very little to share. They were polite enough, asking you about your studies and pretending to care when you answered them.

“Oh, cool,” Cherise said, sipping on wine out of one of Pidge’s nicer glasses, “Poems are cool.”

“Yeah, I was Juliet in that one play,” Bekah said, proudly. 

“And she’ll never let us forget it either,” Anjali rolled her eyes, and everyone laughed.

They were quick to forget you again, turning back to their recent Tinder date disasters and successes. 

“And this bloke - the one with the beard thing - he ask me and this other girl to the same restaurant, on the same night! I thought she was gonna kill him right there in front of the maître de!” Anjali lamented.

Cherise smiled like a Cheshire cat, 

“Lachlan is taking me on his boat next weekend.”

“We know! Shut up about the boat, you slag,” Bekah clipped. 

Cherise shot back quickly, 

“You’re just mad ‘cause Soap hasn’t texted you today.”

You gave the girls your full attention now. You darted your eyes to Pidge who rolled them, but looked otherwise unbothered. Bekah turned her phone around and you saw the image she was eager to display,

“He’s on bloody thin ice. I asked for a pic of him in his uniform, and all he sent me was a picture of some nasty sand!”

Your chest clenched tight enough that you couldnt breathe. It was your picture. Your morning photo from a few days ago. He was holding his breakfast, outstretched, and you could even see your hair tie on his wrist, the rolling dunes of the desert stretching out before him into infinity. 

“Men, am I right?” Anjali finished her wine. 

Maybe she was right. 

SATURDAY MORNING

You’d slept beside Anjali that night, sharing the bed willingly but not enthusiastically. She had snored through most of it, and you’d barely gotten any sleep. It wasn’t just her snoring that kept you up. In fact, you were using her as a scapegoat. You had been thinking about Johnny. 

It was like you were having a war in your mind. On one hand, it was just a picture of some sand, but on the other, you had no idea how many texts they had shared before or after that. Your heart broke easily, shattering melodramatically, whining about how you weren’t special and that if you didnt control yourself, you’d be sorry for it. He was just a playboy, just like everyone said.

Your brain, however, begged you to see reason. He sent her a picture of sand, not his naked torso, and he had forced his teammates to text you your passcode when he went on his mission. Surely that was enough proof that he cared about you and not Bekah.

It wasn’t enough, said the heart. 

It has to be enough, said the head. 

It shouldn’t even be happening, said the soul. 

You watched the sun peek through the blinds just as they had when you’d been wrapped in Johnny’s arms, naked and warm against his pink skin. 

You sighed and got up to shower. 

The party was at two, so you had plenty of time. You made it over to Ettrick’s early to help set up, walking alone since you knew the others would be in heels and wouldn’t all fit in the car. You’d brought flats, sensible but stylish, and a comfortable, albeit sparkly, maxi dress. You felt like shit. Sleep would have been nice, you thought. 

Hamish had delivered all of the boxes for you this morning, and the wait staff at Ettrick’s was setting it out for you. You rearranged it as artfully as you could, and you were just about finished when your phone buzzed.

Mo Chroi: phone’s alive! sorry i disappeared on you thief. forgive me?

You: glad youre ok

You: party starts soon

You: cookies.jpg

You: dessert_table.jpg

Mo Chroi: wow! did you do all that? pigeon is gonna be chuffed

Mo Chroi: heading out to the next spot

Mo Chroi: helicopter2.jpg

You: want me to tell Bekah hi? she was waiting on you to text her back last night

Mo Chroi: ?? no 

Mo Chroi: why 

Mo Chroi: what did she say

Mo Chroi: thief? 

You: just that she was hoping you would text her back. idk

You thought about it for a little while before sending a final text.

You: i think she wanted more than just a sunrise. 

SATURDAY NIGHT

You had three missed calls from Johnny, but you were too busy trying to deal with gift unwrapping, keeping the peace at the over-crowded tables, and rushing out appetizer trays when the wait staff became too overwhelmed. It was chilly tonight, but you were sweating under your long dress. 

You thought about what you’d said to Johnny, and you were mad at yourself for trying to get a rise out of him. You didn’t want to be the one playing games, and you needed to curb your jealousy. He was allowed to text whoever he wanted, just like you were.

You: sorry. cant pick up. busy with your sister

You: champagne.jpg

Mo Chroi: answer my calls thief

Mo Chroi: i have to drive the rig but im calling you as soon as we get to our site

Mo Chroi: trucks.jpg

Mo Chroi: at least tell me when you get back. promise

You: promise

SUNDAY, 0200

You: i made it back to my apartment. hamish drove me. train was down for maintenance.

You: marlowe-in-a-bag.jpg

You: marlowe is mad that i was gone

Mo Chroi: im glad youre alright.

Mo Chroi: gaz took this at our training today

Mo Chroi: group_pic2.jpg

You: yall look tough

You: whos the one in the middle

Mo Chroi: thats the captain and ghost has the dog

Mo Chroi: go to bed thief. its late 

Mo Chroi: sunrise2.jpg

Mo Chroi: can i call you later? its important

You: ok

SUNDAY, NOON

You woke to the sound of rain. A loud peal of thunder pulled you from the darkness of your sleep. You would have stayed with Pidge, but you just couldn’t face his bed again. Hamish was happy to be your chauffeur, even after you learned that the train was out of service. You tried to buy him some gas, but he adamantly refused. 

A headache stung behind your eyes, drilling into you, punishing you for the champagne. You hadn’t been drunk, but it had been sweet, and now you were paying the price for your sugar rush. You checked your phone.

Pidge: hHad such a great night!!. Thanku for everytingf i lov youuuu!!

Pidge: omg Anji just boked inthe sink

You didn’t reply. She was probably still asleep, along with the rest of the household. There was nothing from Johnny, yet. It wasn’t unusual. He was busy with terrorism, you figured. He would text you if he wanted to text you. 

Digging in your freezer, you found some leftover soup and put it on to reheat. Your phone rang.

The selfie of you and Johnny at Glencoe flashed onto your screen. You let it ring again before you picked up.

“Hey,” you said softly, your voice still hoarse from sleep.

“You still asleep, thief. I’m sorry to wake you,” he didn’t sound sorry. 

“It’s okay,” you sighed, “Just making some soup. Rainy here. Cold.”

You: rainy_window.jpg

He groaned, and you could hear the creak of a mattress in the background,

“Mm. Spent the whole day on my belly doing target practice. I miss home.”

Mo Chroi: sniperpractice.jpg

“Yeah? Looks sandy and hot. Too bad there’s no beach,” you stirred the soup.

“I miss you, mo mèirleach.”

You stopped stirring the soup. 

“I miss you, too.”

“Do you? Or are you cross about my texting Beks?”

“Both,” you went back to stirring the soup.

“Sent it to Hamish, too. You cross about tha’?”

You sent back silence. 

“And if I told you Bekah’s an old friend from grammar school, and that’s all she’ll ever be, would you believe me, lass?”

Silence was all you had to give, apparently. Finally, you poured the soup into a big bowl and set it down on your coffee table, shoving your papers and books aside, and said, 

“This soup looks amazing. Wanna see it?”

You: soup.jpg

“Thief. She’s just a friend.”

“I think there’s a song about this actually…”

“I think I’m fallin’ for you, and I need to know if you’re fallin’ for me, too.”

The bite of soup you were about to take hovered in your spoon, frozen in time. You could hear him breathing in your ear, waiting on your response. You could feel your heart shudder in your chest. 

“Johnny. We can’t…”

“Don’t. Don’t start with tha’ mess, thief. Tell me you aren’t fallin’ for me, and I’ll stop. No more texts. I’ll leave it alone.”

“She’ll never forgive me, Johnny. I don’t have anybody else, don’t you get that? I’m not even from here. I’m spending Christmas with her because I don’t have anywhere else to go. You have a whole town who loves you, and she’s your sister. She’ll forgive you in a heartbeat.”

“You have me, don’t you, thief?”

“Do I?”

It was his turn to push silence out through time and space, sending it up to the cellular satellites and mirroring it back down to you. Firing frustrated breathing noises across cables and wires and whatever other stupid fucking technology was happening to you right now. 

“Alright, lass.”

The phone beeped at you to inform you that the call had ended, but you kept it pinned on the shell of your ear, desperate for even a moment of that silence again. You regretted your honor the moment you’d held it up, and you were angry at yourself for keeping a promise you’d promised to keep. 

The phone clattered to the coffee table. The soup went cold. 

MONDAY MORNING

There was no sunrise text for you this time. Your phone didn’t have any notifications at all, in fact.  You made it all the way to the bus before you caved.

You: bus.jpg

You waited. Then, you waited some more. Nothing happened. You tried not to cry, and you failed. Luckily, the bus was empty, and the driver didn’t care about you enough to ask what was wrong.

WEDNESDAY MORNING

You: stuck in the library today. office is being cleaned.

You: library.jpg

Again, you were met with the cold emptiness of staring at your own responses at the bottom of your messages. You tried not to feel the sting of it, but you failed at that, too.

THURSDAY MORNING

You: giving a lecture today. kinda nervous about this one.

You: lectureroom2.jpg

You: hope youre okay

FRIDAY MORNING

Your phone buzzed three times, waking you up with a jolt. It was still dark outside. You fumbled with your phone, rushing to see the messages. 

Kyle: Hey this is Kyle, Soap’s mate. We’re heading back to the black site, so it’ll be a few weeks until you hear from him. 

Kyle: airplane_loading.jpg

You: thanks for telling me

Kyle: Soap asked me to tell you he promises??  I think thats what he said.

You: tell him i promise

You: and can you tell him that i made a mistake? he was right. about everything.

You: and im sorry.

Kyle: Will do!

You stared out of the window until the deep purples of night gave way to a cool pink morning glow, and you watched as the sun stretched its gentle arms up and over the river.

=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=

Chapter 07

[rainesol]

TWST Main Cast Pride Headcanons!!!

Compiling all of my personal twst gender/sexuality headcanons into one post 💪

Disclaimer: I won’t bother with a DNI, however I won’t indulge any discourse or homo/trans/aphobia on this post. You will be blocked and promptly clowned on in the group chat. o7

Heartslabyul

Riddle Rosehearts:

Riddle is an interesting character to me. I don’t think he’s the type to put a label onto his sexuality, but I headcanon bi with a female preference. Gender identity wise, I think within the current storyline he is satisfied with he/him pronouns. Best way to put it into words is that I think he’s nonbinary and uses he/him, but doesn’t have a label for that either. After finding out the custom, he always introduces himself and gives his pronouns.

I choose to interpret his line about enjoying the way his heels click as gender euphoria that just went unrecognised. At the time that I’m writing this, the Lost In The Book event isn’t out on en, but through this translation, you can see that any problems he had with the outfit came from the amount of skin shown rather than the actual presentation. I wholeheartedly believe that if he had been magical-girled into a sundress he’d have been totally cool with it.

As an extra note, I’ve seen a couple of transfem Riddle headcanons that I love. I’d love to see more fics with that concept in the fandom. Or I could do it myself lol.

Ace Trappola:

We know that Ace has canonically had a girlfriend in the past, and found her boring. Not nice. He also says that he decided that dating was a pain and he prefers just hanging out with his friends. I get it. I’m aroace and I’ve confessed that I’m biased and projecting 😔 But like. Come on. I’m choosing to interpret him as aromantic/arospec. Let me cling on to the representation that I made up in my head. I don’t have any specific gender headcanons on this guy. I just view him as cis. He/him.

Deuce Spade:

Deuce is another guy I don’t have much for </3 I usually view him as a gay man in my head? He/him pronouns, cisgender. I think he’s surprisingly more open to gender non-conformity than people expect of him, though. (For instance, the ballet lessons.)

Cater Diamond:

It’s canon in the jp server that Cater has interest in dating both men and women. I’m with everyone else in viewing him as canon bisexual. I headcanon him as having a male preference, but sometimes that changes.

It’s obvious what I’ll say about his gender, but for sure under the nonbinary umbrella. We all saw the guitar strap. Maybe demiboy? He/they. Cater is very online, and considering that the nonbinary flag is ten years old, he or his elder sisters might remember its creation.

Anyways, here’s the nonbinary flag colour picked from his club groovy, and the bisexual flag picked from his Halloween groovy! :D

Trey Clover:

Trey is typically a cis dude in my head. (He/him) He's the supportive older brother type, so I imagine that he keeps the Heartslabyul public bathrooms stocked on pads. I don't know how helpful he would be with advice, but he'll hear you out or refer you to the guidance councillor if that's what you want o7 I don't think the NRC guidance councillors are much help though. Maybe just speak to your homeroom teacher.

I hc that Trey likes men and women with no preference, but just isn't very vocal about it. It'll come up in casual conversation, but I don't think he'd see the point in telling someone unless it was relevant. You'd be having a casual convo with him in the common room, and he might make a reference to a guy he had a crush on in secondary school. Cue SnapCube 'Woah, he's bisexual, I didn't know that!'

Savanaclaw

Leona Kingscholar:

I've seen so many 'token cishet' Leona headcanons that I cant help but to absorb it a little. I do have another headcanon that he experiences some same-sex attraction, but he's got such high standards that he rarely notices any attraction at all. He/him. Maybe poly cause lions?

Jack Howl:

MLM demisexual/romantic truther. (He/him or he/they) I don't have many headcanons for the Savanaclaw trio <//3 if you see/make any please feel free to tag me!! I love reading I love information I love headcanons‼️

Ruggie Bucchi:

Either transmasc or the personification of the 'I'm probably nonbinary but I have a job so idrc about that rn'. I usually picture him with He/him or he/they. Perhaps a rare they/them if you so desire.

Pansexual, his only preference is hard workers on their grind 💪 Between you both you could create an empire of part-time jobs. I've also seen one or two poly headcanons with him that I enjoy. Dividing the bills between the whole polycule lads come on. We're eating good this week.

Octavinelle

Azul Ashengrotto:

I cannot lie, I don't have anything on this guy. There's nothing to be said yk. Like, he's just there in my head and there's not much else I can add. I tend to agree with the MLM headcanons. I also picture him as demisexual/romantic sometimes. Not always. He's the best in the school at remembering pronouns. He updates his secret file on you right away.

Gender wise, I always just enjoy whatever the fanartist/fic writer shows me. I default to he/him. Ursula was based on a drag queen! I think that there should be post-canon/book 3 Azul drag personas. Now I'm picturing a drag design. She/her/he/him for that.

Floyd Leech:

Asexual and panromantic. I think Floyd uses any pronouns, depending on his mood. I headcanon genderfluid, but he typically keeps near the masc end of the spectrum. Not always. The basketball club made colour-coordinated bracelets so that they can easily tell whenever Floyd's preferences have changed. Blue for he/him, pink for she/her, yellow for they/them. Open for combinations of those three, and no bracelets for when he has no preference :D

Jade Leech:

Asexual and gay. I headcanon that he always introduces himself with he/him pronouns, but at the same time I picture him being cool with any pronouns. In classic Jade fashion, he will be generally unnerving about your choice. Like 'Oh? Is that your choice? ...Fascinating :)'

Scarabia

Kalim Al-Asim:

I don't have many headcanons on him specifically, but he'll totally pay for your HRT. Like Trey, he and Jamil keep Scarabia stocked with menstrual products. Kalim has a LOT of siblings, so he's seen a lot of different kinds of people :D He's got a ton of older brother advice. I see him with he/him pronouns, and MLM.

Kalim is a very supportive friend. Always excited to learn new things about his you. Also, those parades he throws? I bet he's (Jamil's) organised an NRC pride event. If I had the skills and patience, I'd draw that idea. If anybody does, tag me o7 I wanna see.

Jamil Viper:

Jamil is a very well prepared man. As I mentioned above, he's the one that puts Kalim's plans into action. He keeps Scarabia stocked on everything, he's technically still an older brother, but I don't see him as having that dynamic with anyone other than his sister. He's still a supportive friend, though :D

I headcanon Jamil as bi, usually with he/him pronouns.

I once had a transfem au Jamil idea way back when I was 17, but I haven't given it much thought since. Maybe I'll bring the au back someday?

Pomefiore

Vil Schoenheit:

Vil has A LOT of headcanons, theories and interpretations in the fandom. Vil is canonically a very gender nonconforming character, using typically gender neutral pronouns, being comfortable in his gender identity and presentation, and is very open to wider interpretations of gender outside of what is stereotypically considered 'masculine' or 'feminine'.

Surprisingly, I've got no proper headcanons on a set gender identity for him. There's already so much canon info within the series, that I just haven't given it much thought. I think he defaults to he/him pronouns, but is perfectly comfortable with anything. Keeps Pomefiore stocked and educated, and he's very well taught in makeup that can make you appear feminine OR masculine.

Similarly, I don't really have any label-specific headcanons for his sexuality. I normally interpret him as MLM. Vil is one of the characters that I'm always interested to see discussions about. His views on gender identity are pretty refreshing to see in modern media.

Epel Felmier:

Epel my friend! Another character that I like reading interpretations of. Again, I always give him he/him pronouns. He also had a lot of canon information on his views of gender norms. His character arc is honestly one of my favourites.

I typically picture that he’s attracted to multiple genders. I’ve seen a lot of interpretations where he mistakes his attraction for jealousy. A lot of “do I want to date him or be him?”

Another au/headcanon I’ve seen a lot of is transmasc Epel. I know a lot of transmasc people see themselves in him. That’s awesome.

Rook Hunt:

This guy! I see him as pansexual but also on the aromantic spectrum. Hear me out. In his suitor suit he has one (1) singular line about not being ready for marriage yet. Like obviously, he’s eighteen, but it just made the projecting side of my brain whir. I now see him as the type to like the idea of romance, just not for himself. Doesn’t mean that I don’t like seeing art/ships that go against this, but that is a hc I hold dear now.

He/him pronouns, but this guy loves to discuss peoples gender identity and interpretations of gender. Sit down with him and a cup of tea, and he’ll listen and talk for hours about how you both feel. Be warned that he may take notes. Mirror pronouns Rook? Oh wait. I like that. Mirror. Like Snow White.

Ignihyde

Idia Shroud:

I typically see Idia as aroace with either little or no attraction. I like the headcanon that he doesn’t date at all, but I’ve also seen enough Silver x Idia to have another set of headcanons. I like both :D I’ve never seen him as not aroace though.

I do kind of wish I had his Suitor Suit sometimes. Every other line is something I’ve definitely said before. Like, the only time he shows any interest in dating is through video games and manga with characters that aren’t him. That’s so me irl you guys don’t understand. I would die happy if twst had canon aro/ace rep.

I think Idia’s the type to only use different pronouns online. Maybe with Ortho, too. He/they online and with close family. Everyone else knows him as he/him. I said that Cater might remember the nonbinary flag’s creation. Idia does. He was on twst tumblr to witness the creation of many flags.

Here's the aroace flag picked from the Suitor Suit card! :D Very pretty.

Ortho Shroud:

Ortho is downright fascinating to pick apart. Pre book 6, I doubt Idia programmed a sexuality into him. Like it would even be possible. Then post book 6, after he gains a soul/sentience, I think he and Idia would have had a talk about him now having the choice to one day explore his gender identity and orientation (if he so desires). I think Ortho wouldn’t have any interest in dating, though.

Confessional time. Before wiring this I had the random thought of “In second year Ortho downloads she/they.zip and gets a new body made”. I never meant to pay much kind to it but now I can’t let it go. Like I’ve been accidentally referring to Ortho as she in front of friends. I have a future design in mind. I have additional headcanons about this design. It’s completely taken over. If I ever post that redesign is beyond me but it’s there in my head and it won’t leave. Fem!Ortho future au. Idk if anyone would hear me out there.

Diasomnia

Malleus Draconia:

Another character I enjoy multiple interpretations of. One interpretation I have of him is cupiosexual/romantic. The other is demisexual/panromantic. Either way, the concept of a qpr would make him so excited that it doesn’t rain for days on Sage’s Island. The grass withered.

Malleus is old. Not mentally, but chronologically. He’s seen language change a couple of times, and he grew up with people even older than him. He was born in the mid 1800s equivalent. Thon is one letter off of thorn. See where I’m headed? The use of thon/thons was first recorded in the 1850’s. Gender neutrality is not a new concept to him.

If you asked for his pronouns, I feel like he wouldn’t immediately understand. Like, he calls himself I. Me. Sometimes if he’s with someone we. Did you want all of those too? Oh, just the ones you call him./j

Anyways twisted wokeland au where Malleus allows Yuu to make up a name and set of pronouns for him because he refused to introduce himself/j

Silver:

Another guy I never considered. Mayybe also on the aroace spectrum? I think he’d be happy in a qpr. I think he’s not the type to question it. He just goes with whatever he feels. I’ve not got much lol.

Sebek Zigvolt:

Demisexual/romantic and he/him pronouns. Again, I’ve not thought much on him. I think it takes him a long, long journey of self-discovery though.

Lilia Vanrouge:

Again, Lilia was born a LONG time ago. He was born in the early to mid 1300s equivalent. He’s seen so much change since then, and he’s been through a lot of character arcs. I think I’m justified in headcanoning him as an unlabelled king. If he likes a girl, awesome. He likes a guy? Cool. I think it’s common to hear him refer to himself in a dead language. Baby girl, he has heard pronouns you could not comprehend.

If you ask his gender or sexuality, you’ll get some vague dad gestures, and a ‘you know what I mean’ nod. You don’t. You won’t.

Book 7 spoilers, but I hope that they keep the mlm implications in for the en translations. They’ll probably pull a Cater and write out the canon bi implications though. Heartbroken.

⋆｡𖦹°‧★

Thank you for reading to the end of my ramblings o7 If anyone else makes pride themed posts please feel free to tag me!! I would love to see them!

I really like the subtle ways these things are portrayed in the story. Especially within the world building. We know that is generally societally acceptable for men to wear makeup and dresses in TWST, and there’s canon development of language changing over time in a gender neutral way! (Witches and wizards -> mages. Suck on that, Rowling.)

⋆｡𖦹°‧★

————————————————————————

@tixdixl @cyanide-latte @the-trinket-witch @thehollowwriter @elenauaurs

@emiensr

[romana-after-dark]

The Wrong Way: Chapter 8

Dark!Joel Miller x Fem!Reader Tommy Miller x reader (secondary)

Masterlist

Spotify playlist

Summery: You are sold to Joel to clear up some of your fathers' debts, and he takes you back to his house where him, Tommy, and high ranking members of his raiding trope stay. Joel is mean, cruel, and hash, but had small moments of softness that confuse you in your venerable state. Over time, you get to know him and Tommy, and see different sides of each, and both are hiding secrets. Was it possible to fall in love under these circumstances? Or was that just another way Joel was fucking with you?

Aka: my mom sold me to One Direction

WARNINGS FOR FULL FIC, NOT CHAPTER BY CHAPTER UNLESS SOMETHING NEW IS ADDED AFTER MASTER WARNING LIST: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT!!!! Fic contains graphic depictions of sexual assault, rape, molestation, dubcon/non con. Blow Jobs, PIV sex, lose of virginity, sex trafficking, past incest, death/people dying everywhere, Stockholm syndrome, falling for your rapist, victim blaming, torcher, branding, physical abuse, rape (not Joel), somno, dub con on tommy? idk he's not really into it but feels like he has to, self-harm/depression/suicidal thoughts (not a lot) but fair warning, major age gaps, love triangle, pregnancy/birth, threats of abortion, major character death, mentions of potential csa/child abuse but does not even come close to happening, forced pregnancy, forced housewife shit, breeding, breeding kink?!?!

I wanna add we're really heavy on the birth/pregnancy, forced birth, choking, domestic violence, threats of hanging and murder. Can't say I didn't warning yuh (unless i missed a warning of course. then please let me know so i cant edit ASAP) Like this is a rough chapter, a lot of violence to a pregnant woman. but I wanna say right now...

The baby will not be harmed in anyway. Baby will be born healthy, and live and have a good life in both the main ending and alt ending.

5k words (sorry not sorry lol)

Also to clarify a few things I guess i didn't make clear enough in previous chapters!

Joel only 'guessed' that Tommy and LO slept together. He had suspicions but thought he could trust Tommy and his 'girlfriend'. When LO rushed to stop Joel from hurting Tommy, that was his 'evidence'. Joel was beating Tommy because he found out about Maria.

Joel only heard part of the conversation between Zach and Little One. Nick said way back in chapter 3 the wall are thinner than she thinks. He didn't know Lorenzo had any part of it, and because LO didn't rat him out, he never will.

Thats my bad for not being clear!

Can you catch the Superstore homage? (aka i rewatched two episodes just to take it line for line lol)

***************

Month 3

No one warned you about morning sickness. 

You knew fuck all about sex before you came to Joel’s, just a thing or two from your friend back at the ranch and how to get a man off with your mouth or hands, but pregnancy and birth was next to nothing. You didn’t even know how pregnancy happened really, other than a penis in a vagina until you asked Tommy early on if you were going to get pregnant. After a very uncomfortable talk for both of you, Tommy explained that Joel told him he pulls out, so you should be good… Lorenzo said you can still get pregnant that way, but thinking back to the night Joel almost killed Tommy and you… Joel finished inside… the timing added up. 

Pregnancy and birth were entirely unknown to you, and you wished someone would just give you a heads up. Joel had a daughter and no doubt had been through at least once pregnancy, and Lorenzo had mentioned 4 of his 6 older sisters got pregnant before leaving the house… something about no sex education, men too old for them, and their religion not believing in birth control or abortion… but you didn’t know what half those words meant, and after Lorenzo mercilessly made fun of you for days about not knowing Joel’s song for you was actually a very famous song, you didn’t dare ask him about the words, or anything with pregnancy. You didn’t want to ask Joel either, not wanting to give away how terrified you were, not wanting him to think you didn’t want to… But you did! You did want this baby, you reminded yourself again and again and again, because Joel was good to you, Joel took care of you, Joel would care for this baby too. You’d be bound to him, and he’d never get tired of you this way, and he wouldn’t hurt the mother of his child, right?

The birth was something you tried not to think about.

So here you were, puking your gut out before you even had breakfast and Joel held your hair back.

“Shhh, shhhhhhh” he coo’d and you heaved, yellow bile and acid coming up from inside you since the little food in your stomach from dinner had been thrown up 5 minuets ago.

With a final spit into the toilet, you sink back and Joel wipes your mouth for you. “I think that’s it.” You mutter, and Joel carries you into your shared bedroom, laying you down with the care of an infant before kissing your forehead. 

“Don’t worry about breakfast, little one. I don’t need anything this morning.” He says before kissing your cheek. But you were worrying about breakfast, because you wanted it… but the only way you’d be getting food is if you made it. Tommy wasn’t here to care for you anymore. “I’ll be gone until the evening, what's for dinner?”

The thought of cooking, the thought of raw meats and the strong smells of spices made you want to vomit again. “I dunno…”

“I think a few of them chickens is ready to be butchered, you ever made chicken parmesan? We got that cheese I brought back yesterday, you could make something like that.”

You groan a bit, exhausted and tired despite being only 3 months in. You didn’t sleep at all last night, nightmares of the past and the future plaguing you. He knew that you didn’t sleep, you had told him… “Joel I can’t, the butchering, I feel so-”

“I’ll make Lorenzo do it.” He promises. “Chicken parmesan it is then?” He decided for you. What he didn’t understand is it wasn’t just butchering a few chickens. To make chicken parm you need chicken breasts, not the rest of it. You didn’t waste meat, so Lorenzo kills (you could do it on a normal day, but not with your heightened smell) then you pluck, clean, Lorenzo butchers, then you have to separate the different parts and put them into hygienic storage and take them to the freezer locker, then thoroughly clean yourself, all the tools and surfaces (and Lorenzo) to prevent illness. It would take hours. But Joel didn’t see that, he only ever saw the food at the end of his day.

“Okay” You agree reluctantly, and he begins kissing your neck and groping you, no doubt wanting a quicky before a long day of unspeakable violence. “Joel, please, I don’t feel good.” You beg him not to, but you learned in the past that this never got far.

His morning breath wasn’t helping anything as he tugged down your shorts. “I’ll be quick.”

You knew what that meant. Joel slid into you with no prep, no lubrication, and it burned. The steady rocking was the last thing you needed right now, and with his head buried in your neck, you covered your mouth as the nausea took over. You threw up, but like everything the last several months, you just swallowed it down again to deal with when Joel was gone. When he came inside (wasn’t he worried about you getting pregnant again?) you quickly pull up your pants and run to the bathroom, pushing past Lorenzo no doubt on his way to babysitting duties with you. 

As he watched you run past and heard the sounds of throwing up, Lorenzo caught Joel’s arm as he brushed past. “Peppermint or ginger. Find it, whatever form it's in. Oils, drops, whatever. If you can find the leaves or the root we can make it into a tea. Just find it, it’ll help her nausea.”

Month 4

“Okay Lorenzo, I got a question for you, and you can’t make fun of me.” You say as you cook, the swell of your belly beginning to show now.

“No guarantees.” He says, sitting his drink. How did he find so much alcohol?

“Fine. Okay… when Joel and I have sex-”

He visibly cringed. “Since when do we talk about our sex lives?” 

“Renzo.”

“Fine, go on. But remember I’m not exactly an expert on female anatomy.”

You take a deep breath. “Okay. Well I told you he always pulls out right? Um… ever since I told him im pregnant… he doesn’t.”

Lorenzo waits for you to continue, but you don’t. You think that’s it. “What the problem?”

You continue to avoid looking at him, stirring the soup. “Well.. what if I get pregnant again?”

He stares at you like he’s trying to make sense of your question before the recognition sets in. “OH!” But before he explains what he means… his face shifts… theres something sad in there, a hint of pain in his eyes you only saw once, the face he had as he looked at you in disgust while Joel carried you from the bedroom to the bath while you were covered head to toe in spit and cum and period blood… was it pity? “Jesus kid… No one really taught you anything, did they?”

“C’mon, just tell me.”

Scrubbing his face, he sighed. “No, you can’t get pregnant while your already pregnant.”

Oh. “Wait… really?”

“Yes, really.”

“Ah. Okay then.”

There was a long, long silence before he spoke again. “If you got any other question about, like… pregnancy and birth… I can try and answer.”

Joel had been trying to find a doctor, a midwife, something for you… but it was slim pickings in Wyoming. 

Five minuets later, you were squealing, covering your ears, but laughing. “Ew! What the hell is a mucus plug! You know what, I don’t wanna-”

“IT’S A PLUG FULL OF MUCUS IN YOUR VAGINA WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS?!?!” He yells loud enough to get past your attempt at blocking your ears. 

“NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH!!! I CAN’T HEAR YOU!” But you still could.

“Honestly in the last month or two all kinds of weird things are gonna come out of you including but not limited to a very slimey and weird looking baby.”

You gasp, feigning indignance. “How dare you insult my unborn child!”

“It ain’t personal, sweetheart. All babies look ugly as fuck as newborns. Now, let’s get back to the gritty details.”

With a squeal, you try to run away. “No! I know enough!” But you’re laughing. It felt like you were messing around with Zach back in your childhood home. 

“My sister Elaina lost like 4 teeth.”

“AAAHHHHH!”

Month 5

Joel had finally found a midwife of sorts. Well, technically, Jack did, as it was his cousin. Maura had been a nurse in the birthing wing a short time before everything went to shit and had been helping women deliver babies ever since. Initially, she told Jack to keep his mouth shut. She hated Joel and didn’t want a thing to do with him, but when no one else showed up and you were in your 5th month, she relented, purely for the sake of the innocent kidnapped girl. 

“Put the fucking gun away, Joel.” She said as she entered your room, grabbing the barrel in Joel’s hands and pointing it to the floor. “Point that shit at me again and I’m not helping your child bride.” She stared him down, head tilted up only slightly to reach his eyes. If she was intimidated by Joel, she wouldn’t

Joel glared at her, but he didn’t have many options. “If you hurt her-”

“From what I hear, you’re doing enough of that yourself. Now, you stand up against the wall and watch if you want to, but don’t interfere, and do not try to intimidate me, understood?”

You watched in awe as she stood her ground… It had been months before you had done anything of the sort against Joel, only standing up to him when Tommy’s life was in danger. Joel gave a curt nod and she turn to approach where you lay, sat up against some pillows.

A gentle smile was on her face, but it was clear she was here for business. Still, her confidence and certainty put you at ease.

“My name’s Maura, I’ll be helping deliver this baby.” She was beautiful, with long black hair and a light smattering of freckles on her face, but got straight to the point. It was clear she knew what she was doing, asking you questions you hadn’t even thought of yet and examining you. When she was done, she stood up, looking at you, not Joel. “It seems despite the circumstances-”

Joel tried to interrupt. “The fuck’s that supposed to mean”

But Maura ignored him, keeping your attention with her bright brown eyes. “Despite the circumstances, everything appears to be progressing naturally, theres no cause for concern as of right now. But you need to keep things low stress.” It was then she turned to glare at Joel, to emphasize her point.

Maura said she’d be staying near-by and Joel was paying her a hefty price for her services. When you’d go into labor, Joel was to send a man on horse to fetch her, preferably Jack, but she warned she would armed, and she’d be there shortly.

That night, Joel held you close as you discussed baby names. 

“How about Loretta? Like that singer you liked?”

Joel hums, none commital. “I always liked Dorothy, we could call her Dolly as a nickname. I know you like Dolly Parton” Joel had been teaching you about old country music, and you certainly had a few favorites. Not knowing many women in general, your pool of girl names was not strong so you drew from singers he’d mentioned. 

You scrunch up your nose a bit at that. “I like Dolly, I don’t like Dorothy.”

“It was my grandmas name, I’d really like to name our daughter after her.” His voice had that tone to it, the one that left little room to argue, but you tried to push past Dorothy.

“Maybe June? Like June Carter?” You knew how particle he was to Johnny Cash, but also... that was the name of the only friend you had before Tommy.

“That’s beautiful, little one, June it is.” He smiles into your skin, and you think you’ve won, when he says. “Dorothy June.” 

He had already decided, and there was no real option to argue or change his mind. You’d just call her Dolly, then.

You had one thing you really, really wanted for boy name, and you desperately hoped you could get it, but you couldn’t tell him why. You didn’t want any more kids so this was your only shot. You hadn’t even wanted this one, but as your stomach swelled with life, motherly love came with it and you decided you’d make the best of the situation. The child inside you was your number one priority. “Okay, boys? I really like Caleab… It’s my favorite boy name…” You didn’t have to tell him that was Zach’s middle name.

“I like it, bebita.” 

You got what you wanted. You knew Joel was hoping for a girl, so you figured he was less particular on the boy name. 

“Got any ideas for the middle name?” You ask him.

“Nothing in mind, really. I’m open…” He kisses your neck.  “Anything you want?”

You keep quiet. The name you wanted… he’d never go for.

Joel pulled you closer, nuzzling his face against you as he whispered. “Ah. I see.” You freeze. Tommy hadn’t been so much as alluded to since he barely made it out alive and you thought for sure Joel would have a fit, and you began to prepare yourself to feel a hand wrapped around your throat… But he tucked your hair behind your ear and kissed into your locks as he settled down for bed. “Caleb Thomas”

Month 6 

Lorenzo was getting on your fucking nerves today, and you were about to fling the frying pan, bubbling grease and all, at his face. 

“Will you shut up?”

“No, I’m not going to shut up because you are being fucking stupid!” Instead of his usual spot sitting at the kitchen table, he’s standing, arms crossed, in the doorway as you tried to get diner done. “I told you the first day, you are a dumb. Bitch.” he was drunk, three sheets to the wind and absolutely no filter.

“You have no fucking idea what I am! I am trying to fucking survive, Lorenzo, I am trying to keep myself and this baby-”

“You are playing housewife to a serial murder and a rapist!” He yells at you, clearly frustrated. “You are rewarding all the bad things he’s ever done you just give positive reinforcement-”

“Don’t fucking blame me! I’m not reinforcing the bad, I’m reinforcing the good!” You storm over to him, glaring Lorenzo down. “You have no fucking idea how bad things were! I used to dream about killing myself, about dying, about Joel finally snapping and doing it! I am doing the best in the conditions I have!”

“You could have left! You could have left with Zach and gone off with him for fucks sake!”

With a burst of anger you didn’t know was even in you anymore, you shove him, hard, causing the drunk to fall over. “You wanna know what he did last time I tried to run? He caught me within 10 minuets, dragged me back and chained me to this table-” You point at the table that you and Joel sit at most evenings now for diner. “And raped me in front of everyone, Lorenzo! Then he branded me and left me to be gang raped by all your little buddies here! And no one could stop him, not even Tommy! All Tommy could do is stand by and watch, and unchain me after Joel left before anyone could do anything more!”

Lorenzo was not deterred. “That’s my fucking point!”

“If I leave and he catches me, I am dead!”

Scoffing, Lorenzo rolls his eyes from where he’s slumped against the floor. “Yeah, that’s why”

Unsure how much more you can take from him, you motion him to continue.

“You just don’t wanna admit you fell in love with your rapist.”

That was enough. You begin to walk away from him, but he follows after you. 

“What about when you give birth, huh? What kind of father is he going to be? Are you going to stand by while he beats your kids?”

“SHUT UP!” You scream, still walking away. 

“And what if you have a daughter? You just gonna let him molest her like your dad-”

You wipe around so fast you don’t even have time to blink. “No, Joel isn’t like that.” 

Lorenzo laughs at you, cruel and loud. “You are 20 years younger than him, he raped you! You really think he’s above-”

“YES! He will not hurt her like that!”

“And if you have a son? Do you really wanna raise a man like Joel? The kind of man who beats and rapes innocent girls?”

Tears prickle at your eyes now, a terrible tightness in your chest bubbling with stomach bile. “N-no, that’s not gonna happen, I won’t let-”

“Oh, because you’ve had so much choice the last year, havn’t you. Sooooo much control.”

“I won’t.” You shake your head vigorously. “I won’t let anything happen to my baby, Joel won’t hurt them.”

“So, say he doesn't. You really gonna raise a kid here? Half the men here would’ve raped you, given the chance! You really think your child is safe here?”

You can’t argue with him when he’s right. But he doesn’t get it. Joel is good now, Joel protects you, Joel will protect the baby… Joel is gentle now… soft, kind… he thinks of you, he sings you songs… he plays music for you, he’ll be a good dad… You’ll be okay…

You shut down, going into autopilot. You don’t look at Lorenzo as you walk back to the kitchen to finish frying the chicken. Joel would be home soon.

Month 7

“JACK! GET MAURA!” Joel shouts as you groan on the bed, the tight contractions hurting.

“Joel, it hurts!” You call for him, and in a flash Joel is at your bedside, letting you squeeze his hand. 

“I know, little one, I know…” He pets your hair, having flashbacks to Sarah’s birth…. He wanted another girl so bad, but god, he just wanted a healthy baby and for his girl to make it out alive. Birth was dangerous in modern medicine, nonetheless a post-apocalyptic shitstorm. 

Lorenzo stood in the doorway, biting his nails. “You’re not due for another 8 weeks!”

Grunting through the pain, you let a rare bout of sarcasm slip. “Oh yeah, that’s right, never mind.”

“Could be false labor, you know? That’s called Braxton-Hicks contractions?” Lorenzo looked more nervous than you.

Joel ignored him. “It’s gonna be okay, Maura’s on her way and I think even out here 32 weeks is gonna be okay.” Joel wasn’t entirely sure about his own words. 32 weeks meant a premature baby, and pre-mature usually meant NICU… but there was no NICU to go to… if the babies lungs were under developed or anything like that, there were no options. 

Lorenzo was chewing through his nails enough to draw blood. “Or maybe it’s Braxton-Hicks”

At that, Joel finally acknowledges Lorenzo. “Okay, we get it, you know the term Braxton-Hicks, we’re all very impressed.”

“AHHHHHHH” You yell, wishing to get there was something for the pain.

Lorenzo wouldn’t shut up. “Okay, contractions are getting longer, that means your in active labor?”

“Her water hasn’t broke yet!” 

“Is she dilated?”

“Does it look like her pants are off to you?”

“Well check!”

“I don’t know how to tell! Weren’t you bragging last month you helped your sister give birth in a Walmart?”

“That doesn’t mean I know how to check if she’s dilated!”

“You know more than me!”

“I’m not sticking my fucking face between legs!”

“Oh, because you’re gay you’re suddenly scared of vagina’s?”

“What are you talking about?”

“So you’d rather let her just die?”

“DIE? Joel she’s not gonna die because I’m not looking at her fucking cu-”

“GUYS” you shout, causing both to turn and look at you. “The contractions stopped.”

There’s a moment of silence before Lorenzo speaks. “Oh. Huh. That’s uhhh… Braxton-Hicks I guess. False labor.”

As Joel kissed you that night, sex was the last thing you wanted, but you knew there was no point in fighting it.

Joel sucked on your throat, already bruised with dark marks from the night before, now sore and aching with new licks and bites, his hands roaming to expanse of skin presented before him. Gripping, feeling, pinching, tugging, some things felt good, some hurt, but that didn’t matter. He’d get you off, he always did, at night anyway, but you knew sometimes he just liked to feel you, feel what he owned.  The pain is mine. Your cries are mine, your cunt is mine. And if you bleed? Your blood is mine.

Your belly round and swollen with child, he could not hardly keep his hand off it, every time his hand traveled to explore, it quickly found itself returning to its home, never wanting to miss a kick. He slithered down, nestling his face between your legs and devouring your pussy the way he did your neck, the way he did every piece of you, body and soul and until there was nothing left but this subservient version of you, weak and obedient to his hands. He lapped you up, skilled tongue exploring through your folds only pausing to nibble at the soft skin of your thighs or kiss the round stomach above him. He felt extra possessive today, a desperate, anxious way about him as he devoured you so hungrily you wondered if he intended to eat you, swallow you whole to keep you with him forever; a communion, and you were the eucharist, a matrimony of cannibalism. 

You wanted to tug at his hair, you wanted to entangle yourself in him but your belly was in the way, so you simply laid back and enjoyed as he tongue fucked you, prodding at your entrance, his hands on the globe where your child waits to be born.

“Fuck, Joel, need you, need to cum, please.”

You beg for him, plead, and he devours. Joel knows you love when his perfect, plus lips such at your mound and your clit with long fingers fingering into you, and you yelp when they curl up and hit that spot inside you. “Keep moaning, little one, let me hear you.”

You obliged. Sometimes you wondered how sick everyone in the house was of hearing you, but they weren’t the ones you needed to please; pleasing Joel kept you alive.

“I need you inside me, please” Nudging him with your leg as you cry for his cock. “Joel, I gotta have you inside me, I need to cum on your cock, please? Please, Joel-”

A wet, sloppy sound as he detached from you, and his eyes looked just as hungry as he acted while he crawled up. “You beg so pretty, little one, such a pretty little cock whore.”

But you didn’t have time for his talking, you needed him inside you, now; the hormones of the pregnancy had a mind of their own. You take a chance and push him down, watching Joel smile as you straddle his waist. “God, I just- just need you.”

“The take me, little one, take me” 

You cry out as you sink down onto him, feeling your cunt split on him. “Fuuuck!” Sobbing, you take him fully and begin to fuck yourself on him.

“Just like that, pretty girl, fuck, taking me so well, gonna have you all stretched out to have this baby, huh? Gonna give me a child, little girl? A baby of our own? Fuck, fuck you look so pretty like this, swollen with my child, stretching your stomach as I stretch your cunt, fucking perfect, my perfect wife.”

Wife.

Wife.

Wife?!

You knew Joel was delusional… but fuck, Lorenzo was right… you were playing house wife. Joel thought of you as his wife… 

“Gonna fuck you full of my cum, again, and again, keep you constantly knocked up, make our happy little family, you and me and a dozen little kids running around, FUCK, our family, our family.”

You continued the pace, you couldn’t falter, you couldn’t slow down, you couldn’t hesitate; you couldn’t give any sort of reason for him to think you didn’t want this…

But it suddenly struck you

You were trapped. Joel trapped you with a baby, knowing you’d need him to protect it, knowing you’d never leave your child… and now he was going to keep you pregnant. You could never leave with 5,6,7 kids, it would be impossible. 

“Yeah, fuck yourself on my cock little one, just little that…” Joel reached out to touch you, roughly manhandling your tits that were swollen and engorged.

You begin to cry, but that wouldn’t give away anything for Joel; he fucking loved that shit.

One hand on your breast, one on your clit. “Cry on my cock, baby girl, cry when you cum.”

You did, you sobbed as you came, your body betraying the horrors you felt at his hands.

Month 8

“Hey Joel? Can I talk to you about something?”

You had to do it. You had to. And it had to be now. You two had fucked less than half an hour ago and he was currently eating your food, humming contently. He was always lovey-dovey after sex, and was always much happier after food… The pair didn’t line up often, so now was your chance. 

“What’s on your mind, little one? Nervous about being a mother? You’ll be a great mom; I just know it.” He smiled at you with puppy dog eyes, looking up from his plate, and you couldn’t help smiling back, not when he showered you with compliments.

“Well… you’ve said before you wanted lots of kids… but we… well this little baby was an accident.”

“A miracle, not an accident.” Joel corrected you. You didn’t see how conceiving a child the night he was threatening to blow your brains onto a wall for sleeping with his brother if you didn’t shoot said-baby’s uncle was a miracle… but you digress

“Right. Well… we never really talked about more kids… and although I’m over the moon about this baby, I did initially not want to have it.” Joel’s face began to darken, but you powered through. “Maybe we could see how we feel about one kid after a few years before thinking about-”

Joel slammed down his silverware. “What are you trying to say.”

But you freeze. This was a bad idea, you needed to placate immediately, you needed to calm him down. “N-nothing, Joel, just thinking out loud.”

He stood up, a deadly, blank stare on his face, so far removed from the adoration as he bestowed kisses on your ever-growing belly. Joel walked around the table, standing behind you and placing firm hands on your shaking shoulders, leaning into your ear. 

“You say’n you don’t want my kids? Don’t wanna be their mama? You don’t wanna be my wife?”

“No, no that’s not-” But you don’t get a chance to finish, his hand is wrapped around your throat and insane strength pulling you up and out of the chair, the wooden furniture toppled to the side in a loud clatter. He slams the back of your head against the drywall, you’re toes barely touch the ground; struggling to breath, you claw at his hand, but he doesn’t even blink.

The panic begins to set it.

“YOU ARE NOT IN CHARGE! YOU DO NOT GET TO MAKE CHOICES!” He screams, and out of the corner of your eye you watch as a few men hesitantly gather, like vultures waiting on the next piece of deadmeat. You couldn’t see who, but it didn’t matter. Even the good ones couldn’t intervene.

Joel’s face was suddenly right in front of yours. “Everything you have, any freedom, any luxuries, any power you think you have is because I have given it to you.” Black spots appeared, your vision blurring, sinking into the unknown and god, did it feel sweet. Was it finally over? “I bought you, I own you, you have no rights! You are nothing! You are nothing but a toy for me to play with, a breeding bitch and you should be so lucky to sit at my table!”

He let go, but as you gasped for breath, Joel yanked at your hair and patched you across the room, not letting go of his grasp on you as you flung into the counter. What he didn’t know, what he could never understand was how the handle of the draw rammed into the brand on your side. Suddenly, all sense, all rational went out the window, and you were violently thrust back to last year as he burned his initials into your skin. The flashbacks were triggered, and the result was nothing short of hysteria. You cry out for the only person who would step in.

“TOMMY!TOMMY!TOMMY!TOMMY!TOMMYYYY” You scream, the fact Tommy was miles away didn’t matter, nor did the fact this would only anger Joel more. This didn’t matter; you wanted him, no one but him, and all sense was knocked out of you.

Joel pulls you up by your hair and slaps you hard enough that you taste blood and screams at you to not say Tommy’s name, but you can’t stop, you scream and scream and scream for him to come save you and your baby, the precious little life inside you that has never done anything wrong. 

You fight and claw and panic, hysterics drowning out the one or two voices telling Joel to stop; who they belonged to, you couldn’t say. 

Joel stopped listening, and the voices grow louder as Joel drags you, kicking and screaming, outside; rope and a chair in his hand, your hair in the other, and Joel walked with long strides to a tree outside.

****************

YEEEEEEESSSSHHHHHHHHHHH Cliiiiiff hanger, hanging from a cliiiiiiffff thats why he's caaaaallled, Cliff Hangers!

Who else used to watch Inbetween The Lions? Anyway.

Who wanna guess what happens!

Only two chapters left!

For the sake of credit, if you didn't find the superstore reference or dont watch the show, most of the dialogue between Joel and Lorenzo and LO was between Amy and Jonah from two birth related episodes of superstore

Also, Maura is named after my dear dear friend @maura-honey who although is not generally a fanfiction girlie, made a tumblr so she could read, like and reblog this series and always sends me such lovely messages <3

Reblogs are the best way to spread and support, but comments mean the world. I know not everyone likes to share dark content on their blog, but even a kind anon is such support!

for those who voted you dont like or hate or Lorenzo, I hope that doesn't mean you hate him as n he's a bad character. I got a comment on AO3 that said "i cant tell if i like lorenzo or not, but i like him in the story" which makes sense! His victim blaming is really fucking shitty.

no poll today, sorry!

MoonBanana said they think LO copes by lying to herself until she beleives it, what do y'all think? is she as delusional as joel?

@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @howaboutcastiel @tidlewav3 @bunnnyy-dummy @slutfortimotheechalamet @foggymoonbanana @dinsbaby @miraclesabound @jenna-ortega @primosworld @marclovers @threeheadedlamb @secretwriterpp @the-fox-den

@bitchyglitterfox @0bsessedwithfictionalcharacters @alloftheboysivelovedbefore @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @lunar-ghoulie @pedritosdarling @dreamonseems @alwaysdjarin @amoramorquetepintas @milla-frenchy

[caramelstarlight]

HIYA!! I saw that you'd requests open and that you love Tighnari, and I love Tighnari too! So I just wanted to request you to write a Tighnari story with hurt/comfort. Idk if you've heard of that one tik tok audio where the guy tells his wife that the girl he's cheating on her with is exactlylike her and when his wife asks him why it couldn'thave been her he says "Cuz she'ssofrer than you. She's kinder. She doesn'tyell at me and make me small." or smth along those lines. But like imagine that, but your ex partner is saying that, and Tighnari, who was your best friend (who was low-key in love with you but never said anything because you were happy with your ex), overhearing your now ex saying that to you. And he can almost hear your heart shattering cuz reader has always been loud, talkative, bossy, and sarcastic, so he couldn't imagine the amount of hurt they must've felt cuz hearing that from someone's gotta hurt like he'll :( And he sees you walk away looking down defeated and sad and decided to follow you to comfort you

Anyways, that's it! I hope you're doing well and you don't have to do the request if you don't want to. Just thought I'd dump my thoughts here :P

I keep forgetting to post these after I’m done. (I put it on save to draft and forget to post it when I’m done-) Started playing HSR again. (My sister has 6 five stars help. Hoyo hates me I have never won a 50/50)

(Yay yippie story) (below)

Comfort after Heartbreak

Tighnari x Reader (Hurt/Comfort) (Also you get a bit of revenge lol.) (And yay happy ending. IM SO EXCITED FOR FONTAINEE I CANT WAIT. I LOVE LYNEY. I LOVE MAGICIANSS HES MONOPRYO THO AUGGHHH.

I have gotten all waypoints beside one and I know what it is but can’t get to it 😭

“You’re cheating on me…-?” You asked him as your eyes started to let loose tears with your heart shattering. “She treats me better than you. She’s kinder and doesn’t yell at me.”

“Fine-…” You said as you lowered your head and covered your face away from him. Staying like that for a few moments before slapping him hard on the face. Walking away with ur hands closed into fists, trying to ignore the pain as your body trembled.

Tighnari managed to hear the conversation you both had. As you walked away he tapped your shoulder as your peered over. Asking if you were okay. “I’m fine Nari- it’s just… it’s ju- just a heartbreak. I’ll get through it.” You said as you tried to push him away.

“No you’re not.” He stated as his grip on your arm tighten. Grabbing your attention again. “I think you would appreciate a hug right?” You nodded as you turned around and hugged him. Which he embraced as his ears lowered and slightly wagged his tail.

“You deserve better…” He stated as he heard your sniffles. Trying to comfort you as he starred at the direction you came from. Looking for your ex. Seeing he wasn’t nearby he focused on you again.

“I can’t believe him. Don’t listen to what he said. You’re unique.” He said as you looked up to him. Wiping the tears away from your eyes as he smiled softly.

“If he doesn’t love you, don’t worry. There’s someone else who does.” He said as he hoped you would get the hint which you didn’t as you were still sad. But you nodded your head before giving it some thought. “Wait- You-?” You’d ask him as he nodded. “Are you sure-?” You asked him. “Of course, why would I have said my earlier statement?” Earning a laugh out of him.

“But are you ready for another relationship? You just got out of one. I don’t want to push you out of your comfort zone.” He said as he caressed your hand as he waited for an answer.

“if it’s with you, I’m willing to try.” You said with confidence as your grip on his hand tightened slightly.

[weixuldo]

Enigma// ch 13

anakin x reader

a/n: sorry for the wait!!! i started a summer job and i’ve been hellllllaaaa busy lol- dw tho, im still writing!!

You have a relaxing dinner with Ahsoka until the end of the year approaches

warnings: cursing, cannon disabled character, insecurity, mention of periods, possible pregnancy mention,

_______________________________

More time passed and you prepped for finals; luckily this year you were able to exempt most of your sit in exams and instead only had one big project and a 20 page thesis due. 

You had been feeling nauseous for the past few days but the 20 page paper’s deadline was looming over you, so it was probably the stress from that. You also hadn’t had much time to eat, so you could also just be hungry. 

You ignored the feeling and went back to typing.

The paper was almost done, only two more pages then you were free for the weekend.. Just two more.

Ring Ring

Ahsoka was calling, you finished the sentence you were on before picking up the phone.

“Hey”

Hey hey! Are you busy tonight?

“I should be free after one more page of this thing”

Damn! Congrats! You've been at that shit since mid terms! I think that deserves celebration!

You laughed, hopefully she wasn’t proposing a party because you weren't quite feeling up to that.

“What do you have in mind?”

I dunno… wanna  just grab take out and eat it by the koi pond? I kinda just want a chill night before I have to start practice for nationals. 

“That sounds wonderful”

Cool! I'll see you at 6:30?

“Sounds good to me!”

Oki bye bye!

The end of the line clicked as she hung up and a small smile settled onto your face; even though you hadn’t known Ahsoka that long, the two of you just clicked and were almost always on the same wavelength.

Some of you wanted to tell her about Anakin, but you just felt like at this point it would add drama to the already stressful end of the year. 

You were seen as the baby of the friend group, so you wouldn’t know how they would feel if you and Anakin officially confirmed the relationship…Also Ahsoka could be a little dramatic at times and you were afraid she would become too involved and make jokes or treat you and Ani differently.

And you had known Anakin long enough to know that those small changes would piss him off and he might accidentally take it out on the relationship.

You got back to your computer when you got a really bad cramp in your abdomen. 

Oh fuck, you hadn’t gotten your period on its normal week so apparently its deciding to come now…great, something else to add to your delightful week.

You finally finished your paper and let out a long groan as you stretched your back. You grabbed your keys and headed down to meet Ahsoka outside the dorms. Once the two of you met up and got your food, you walked to the koi pond on the northern side of campus. 

The sun was setting and the sky was a mixture of beautiful oranges and pinks; you took a seat on the iron bench that overlooked the gardens surrounding the koi pond. 

“This is so nice, I needed to chill,” Ahsoka said, breaking apart the cheap wooden chopsticks that came with her bento box. 

“Yea, I feel ya” you said opening the box of lo mein you ordered. 

“Ya know, I cant believe i’m gonna be graduating in just a few weeks… Like what the actual fuck, I swear I was just a freshman like two weeks ago” Ahsoka baffled as she watched the fish swim laps around the pond. 

“Oh yea, I wanted to get a brunch with all of us next sunday before I have to go to nationals, would you be able to come?” she added.

“Yes! I’d love to” you responded, before remembering that would be one of the last times you would see her before her graduation. 

“I’m going to miss you so much Ahsoka” you said sadly, “Will you keep in touch?”

“Does a fish need water? Of course y/n!” she smiled; “you’re my best girl friend; sure sky guy and Ben are nice, but they're not another girl. And I like Satine alot, but she's older and in a totally different place in life than us, ya know?” 

“Yea, I’m glad we met too” you smiled. 

You conversed over random topics and future plans-

“Do you think you’ll party a lot next year?” she asked you

“Hmm, I don’t think so” 

“Why not? Don’t you wanna find a partner or atleast a hook-up?” She asked, biting down on her last California roll.

“I’m actually pretty content, I think most of my party phase was exhausted freshman and sophomore year” 

“Yea, I get it, I really only kept going out cause the team likes to go to the big parties. Kinda changing topics though, are you interested in anyone this year?”

You froze for a split second before bringing the noodles to your mouth, “Not really, I mean I’ve been seeing this guy off campus, but I wanna keep it on the dl and so does he” you responded (you didn’t have the heart to completely lie to her).

“Ooo, is he cute? How old is he? What's his name? Does he have socials? I gotta make sure he’s good enough for my girl”

“Hah, that's a lot. Umm, I think he's cute, he doesn’t use social media much, and he’s just a bit older” (yeah right, more like twice your age).

“Ok….what's his name?” she asked again, a devious grin on her face.

You smiled and looked away, “Ahsoka, I love you, but I can't tell you, I promised him we’d keep it under wraps… He’s a very private person” 

“Do I know him?” she definitely was gonna guess it if she kept at the questions.

You took all the power you could to construct a final lie, “no, I met him on a dating app”.

“Oh, never mind I guess, I’m happy for you!”

Phew.

You were not practiced in lying.

“Thanks, I really like him… I think I may be in love…I’ve never felt this way before” you smiled. 

“That’s amazing, y/n. Will I meet him some day?”

“Of course” 

The rest of dinner was pleasant, until your stomach started hurting again.

“What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing, I think I'm just gonna get my period soon” you said.

“Wait, shouldn’t you have gotten it like two weeks ago?”

Huh?

“Yea, remember, we’re kind of synced, You’ve been starting yours half way through my cycle since like September”

“Oh, I think it's just late from the stress”

“Hopefully so” she laughed, “Wouldn’t want that mystery man to have knocked you up”. 

She was joking, but something in you became worried… it had been a long time since your last period… and you and Anakin had been pretty busy…but wait

Anakin couldn’t have kids. 

The doctors said so.

But what if…

You shook the thoughts from your head and asked Ahsoka if she would come with you to the drug store to pick up some tums for the stomach ache.

She went off to go look at the shampoo because she needed some more and you sneaked off to grab a pregnancy test.

While you were in line you decided to update your boyfriend on the night’s conversation

“Hey babe, just fyi Ahsoka was asking about who i was seeing so i lied and said a guy from tinder, just wanted to lyk”

In no time your phone buzzed

Alright, thanks for covering, have a good night princess.

“Goodnight my love”

___________________________________

The week went by and you only had the project to finish. Most of your academic stress was subsided, but your personal stress grew by the day.

You hadn't opened the pregnancy test you got last week… you couldn’t bring yourself to.

or

Maybe it was because you hadn't had time…

oh who were you kidding? 

You were scared. 

But if you were pregnant, you should probably find out soon. Right?

Right.

You went into the bathroom and locked the door.

This was it.

The moment of truth.

***

a/n: so this ch was more of a filler to get to the next few chapters…. the plot is thickening and i hope your interest stays!! ty again for reading :)

taglist: : @dnamht @sxoulohvn @angeelcoree @wtf-andys @httpeachesblog @katsukiswrld @jetiikote @poisonedsultana

[maidragoste]

on the lines of daemon and his mommy and odepius issues, i literally was sitting there and thinking: "wow, daemon is like someone who goes clubbing too hard and can't come down from whatever high they're on." like this man has me stressing.

also, it cant just be me who's frustrated with not only team green but also team black like both sides feel lacking to me, but team green seems to be doing more which has me stressing as both sides have major feats. like the last 4 minutes had me pumped but then again why was i waiting for the last 4 minutes when the whole episode should've had me jumping lol.

had to get it out there because i feel like you're the only person who listens and responds with good and critical feedback ;)

have a good rest of ur day/evening/night!!

I didn't know what odepius issues was so I had to google it 😭😭

I honestly don't know what to think of Daemon and what the writers are doing with him 😭😭 plus I was really confused when Alys told him that it was a shame he hadn't met Alyssa. Like, does Alyssa die giving birth to Daemon instead of Aegon in the show's canon? but at the same time Viserys in the first season said that Daemon was her mother's favorite 😭😭 THE TRUTH I DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING

I knew before the season started that I wasn't going to take Daemon's scenes seriously but I honestly can't believe he calls himself king ☠️☠️

anon, I swear you're not the only one. I'm also very frustrated with both teams 😫😫 I hate how the writers are eliminating characters from the team black ALSO I HATE HOW RHAENYRA KEEPS SAYING THINGS ABOUT PEACE. THIS SERIES IS LITERALLY MAKING ME HATE THE WORD PEACE ☠️☠️

I feel like things happened in this episode but at the same time nothing happened. I don't know if it makes sense. AND AS YOU SAY, I JUST GOT EXCITED IN THE LAST MINUTES WITH THE JACAERYS SCENE (especially because I had seen a leak that said that Rhaenyra was the one who came up with the idea of the dragon seeds and I was so angry so I'm glad that wasn't true)

GIVE MY MAN MORE SCREEN TIME!!

Aww, anon, you flatter me 🤭 I love talking to you. I hope you also have a good day/afternoon/night 💖💖

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

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1. Saw this on a Tumblr post and I'm intrigued. Do you know of any fanfic that has a line like this in? “lan wangji had fallen in love with all the enthusiasm of a child being forced to eat their vegetables” - the post seemed to indicate it might be a NHS pov or narrator fic. Any help would be lovely, thank you! @katonahottinroof

FOUND! An Elegant Solution by giraffeter (E, 205k, niewangxian, canon divergence, arranged marriage, friends to lovers, fix-it, everyone lives au, courtship, polyamory, smut) Chapter 14: Lanling Marriage of An Elegant Solution by giraffeter, and my apologies to the OP for quoting the line and not following up to your request for context until now lol. The full quote was "Wei Wuxian had fallen in love with Lan Wangji like a stone falling down a well, which would have been sweet (and kind of annoying) on its own except that Lan Wangji had clearly fallen in love with him too, with all the enthusiasm of a child being forced to eat his vegetables, and that was extremely funny."

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2. Hi! I'm looking for a canon divergence fic where the ending is LZ and WY is dual cultivating at the battlefield (not sex, just using their energy to purge out resentful energy from wy's body, guqin and flute) and this in turn results in wy developing a core - both their energies after joining together comes down powerfully to settle down in wy's body.

The ending para of the fic says about a long lost poem about lan an (? Or some other lan ancester) and his partner cultivating a new core through the same method wangxian did. It says no one knows this method.

Before this dual cultivation (not sex) wy suffers a memory loss and lan zhan calls out to him "wei ying" to tether/ground him and bring him back. It took a while for him to succeed. The fic was very angsty.

FOUND? If I Could Go Back in Time by Runningbarefoot (M, 122k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Role Reversal, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Grief/Mourning, YLLZ WWX, Eventual Happy Ending, The Twin Jade Brotherhood, Hurt/Comfort, Healing, Character Study, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Dynamics, Slow Burn) what was described happened specifically the last 2 chapters Wwx didn't have memory lost tho, just an overwhelmingly resentful energy that he couldn't recognise anyone while using resentful energy but lwj was able to call and ground him back, lwj did some lwj things and  wwx ended up getting 'cleaned' with spiritual energy of his own. The fic ends with some lines from a book that was burned before.

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3. hello! its me again. I hope you can help me find this fic: wwx hides with the wens (leaving burial mounds, building his own sect) but its so hidden like i think lwj tried to go in there but its at the edge of a cliff(?) and he needs to overcome the heavy resentful energy before wwx's new village. i remember lxc is very worried that his brother cant do it and will die afterwards.

i also remember that there's a time that the cultivation world needs wwx's help bcos some demons or monster or idk appeared, like they need wwx to eliminate it. then there's one meeting scene, i think its in koi tower? they showoff some archery skills. song lan and xxc are both alive and lan yuan is also wei yuan, he's still using guqin, i think. i read it before but its not complete that time and i cant find it now. thankyouu in advancee. @httpskaixx

FOUND! 💖 Echo, Murmur, Dream, Here by bluerainmist (M, 51k, wangxian, canon divergence, WWX survives, sect leader WWX, yiling wei sect au, slow burn, angst w/ happy ending, getting together, pining, love confessions, reunions, mind all the tags)

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4. hello! i’m looking for a fanfic where lwj is a single father at first—i can’t remember the specific details of how that came to be but a-yuan was a newborn iirc, and wwx meets lwj in a store i believe and he’s like “i know this is weird but my sister has been sending me pictures of your baby because i’ve been going through some shit” and they end up getting closer after that—and i also know that jyl and lwj were friends before he met wwx

FOUND! box your errors by mellowflicker (T, 42k, WangXian, Modern AU, single dad lwj, Domestic Fluff, Family Issues, Slow Burn, Kid Fic, let lwj have friends agenda, Hurt/Comfort, Pining)

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5. im sure i saw a post (that i cant find now sadly) about lwj encouraging a-yuan's friendship with the loud and rule-breaking jingyi because he wanted lsz to have that fun growing up, and not like his own childhood. do you know any fics or posts that mention that?

FOUND? Twitter thread by gaylittleyiibo the original tumblr post they're referring to is also linked there

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6. Hello I have a request but I am kind of new here. I can figure out how comment a request. I am terribly sorry if this is disturbing you. I read a fanfic once where lan qiren showed up to the burial mounds and decided to take wei ying as his personal  disciple. I thought J had it saved but I guess not. Eventually lan qiren gets punished by the discipline whip? Anyway I have been searching for days and any help you could give would be high appreciated. @autumnchild26-blog

Also if you know if any fic where wei ying takes the 33 lashes instead of lan zhan. I'd appreciate it. I hope you are enjoying the holidays and that you have a week. (This part put into a mood post)

FOUND? Discordant Rhapsody by nirejseki (T, 49k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, LQR has background trauma, LQR has current trauma, Hurt/Comfort, Protective LQR, protective lwj, Protective wwx, Cultivation World Politics, Lan sect politics, lqr centric, Whump, Angst)

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7. Heyo! Trying to find a fic where, during an investigation of mysterious happenings in a town, WWX and LWJ are under a curse where they can’t hear/see each other. It turns out the curse user was just some kid experimenting with spiritual energy, but it takes a while for the situation to clear up. Thank you! @solid-no-on-that-one​

FOUND! Linger in the Sun by etymologyplayground (T, 39k, wangxian, post-canon, case fic, curses, intimacy, getting together, romance, fluff, scars, non-verbal communication) 

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8. Hello, it’s my first time asking and also using tumblr, so I hope I don’t make any mistakes. The fic I’m looking for was Wei Wuxian-centric and a modern au. I think both him and LWJ went to the same uni, and I think they were in an orchestra? I think WWX’s aunt had dropped off baby Yuan at his doorstep and had him take care of him. I also remember a scene where he left Yuan at the uni’s nursery and he got sad idk. I’ve been searching everywhere for this fic so I hope you can help, thank you. :)

FOUND? The Simplest Way Forward by harriet_vane (E, 70k, WangXian, Modern AU, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Kid Fic, explicit in much much later chapters, green card marriage (but not really), pining for your own husband, endless pining, Slow Burn, Happy Ending, Nothing else bad or traumatic happens to the baby)

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9. Hello, I'm looking for a Wangxian fic that I'm pretty sure I have saved somewhere. It was a pretty short fic on ao3. From what I remember it was set in a dystopian future where magic was fading from the world. Wangxian knew each other but not well and they were not together. LWJ was a shifter, possibly a huli jing and could no longer shift into animal form. WWX had a workshop where he worked with androids and helps give LWJ his animal form back. It seemed like this was very dangerous for them.

For #9, this is super random but it caught my eye - this is almost the exact plot of a Ken Liu short story called "Good Hunting". I'm wondering if the fic in question was sort of a re-telling of that story with Wangxian as the characters? Maybe that gives this person an idea of tags or keywords to search - hope that helps someone track it down!

~*~

10. Hello! I’m looking for 2 specific fics A) wwx is caught after the war and as punishment his lips are sewn shut because they think he can cultivate and survive. He almost dies from starvation at one point B) wwx plays a prank that changes the color of the tea and madam yu tries to drown and kill him, he ends up in the cloud recesses to recover and has trauma about lotuses. Thank you for your help ♥️ @plzloveme

10A)

FOUND! ❤️ whipstitch by curiositykilled (M, 131k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Dysfunctional Family, Torture, WWX Lives, but basically no one else, Case Fic,   Cultivation Sect Politics, Past Abuse, WWX Whump, YL WWX, JL Needs a Hug, JL Tries, Yunmeng Bro Reconciliation, Past Character Death, Body Horror, Non-Consensual Body Modification, POV Alternating, Flashbacks, Eventual Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Suicide Attempt, PTSD, Depression, Not A Fix-It, Mouth Sewn Shut)

10B)

FOUND! 🧡 rain falls and soaks into the earth series by RoseThorne (T, 43k, WangXian, WIP, Near Death Experience, Attempt Drowning, Madam Yu Bashing, Recovery, No war AU)

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11. Howdy! I was looking for a vampire Lan Wanji fic where he refuses to have human blood. He's been an outcast from his clan and the towns people all fear him, and or are trying to kill him. Except for Wei Wuxian who's a traveling merchant of some kind. One night Lan Wanji goes out to hunt, and gets chased by humans. He ends up in a sink hole with an injured Wei Wuxian who ends up dying. But before he dies he kisses Lan Wanji, and cuts his tongue on the vampires fang. So Lan Wanji has to drink his blood. Wei Wuxian ends up turning into a vampire and living with Lan Wanji @crimson-gay-sought-flower

FOUND? Inevitable by Miss_TeaDDK (E, 14k, WangXian, Isolated/Trapped, Vampire, Angst with a Happy Ending, Communication, Developing Relationship, Anxiety Attacks, Explicit Sexual Content, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Non-Linear Narrative, Pining LWJ, Anxious LWJ, Gothic Armchair Romance, Running Away Together, Mild Blood, Making Love, Anal Sex, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort)

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12. i'm trying to find this fic where wwx is a system, and one of the alters is yiling laozu who is more of a protector. i think there was a scene with school protest? and there's also the wen siblings in the fic too. thanks!

FOUND! The Other Sides of Wei Ying by orphan_account (T, 14k, wangxian, modern, dissociative identity disorder, mental health issues, therapist LXC, slow burn, WWX has DID, past abuse, dark YZY, dark JWY, hurt/comfort, angst)

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13. Hello! To start off I want to say thank you to the mods for the hard work! I've been trying to find a fic for awhile. Im pretty sure it had multi chapters and was complete.

The main thing I remember is that it's about LWJ kinda having an idealized/rose-tinted version of WWX since it's been 13 years. So the when he returns in MXY body he finds himself surprisingly annoyed with WWX antics and flaws that he had forgotten.

The story doesn't diverge much from canon and is mainly about LWJ's perspective. Thank you! @sketch-a-doodle​

FOUND? 💙 The Price of Old Wishes by SoManyJacks (E, 67k, WangXian, Minor canon divergence, Angst, POV LWJ, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Slow Burn, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, semi-verbal!LWJ, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Suicide)

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14. hello, for your next fic finder can i ask if anyone knows a fic where wangxian is in modern au but they're muzlims? like i know its so weird, but I can't have possibly imagine that. like I'm sure it exist but i just cant find it. its so specific and unusual sorreyy

FOUND? yeh ladka hai allah by teorusu (G, 18k, wangxian, modern, ABO, Islam, Islamic references, mating cycles/in heat, omega LWJ, alpha WWX, comfort, fluff, mischief, scenting, eid, ramadan)

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15. hi!! thank y'all for all the work you do!! im looking for a wangxian fic on ao3 where wei wuxian is taken to cloud recesses and is under the care of (married to????) lan wangji and for some reason wwx is going to get some punishment and before its done (starts??) lwj steps in and takes it for him and lxc has to drag wwx away?? thats the only scene i remember from it but i think the fic is pretty long. and im not sure but the punishment might have something to do with demonic cultivation but im not totally positive.

hi #15 here for most recent fic finder, i think my brain combined both fics into one and somehow its both the cage sun one AND the restraint one?? i read through both of them and they both fit my memory so found!!! but idk which one it was exactly lol probably both!!

not FOUND reminds me of a scene in a stone to break your soul, a song to save it by rikke (chapter 11) (M, 179k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage)

heyyoo i asked about the #15 one where wwx gets a punishment and its not that one :/ but im thinking more and im /think/ jgy might be in it too? and maybe hes the one who drags wwx away and not lxc?

FOUND! Rattling our cages and stealing the sun Series by danegen (E, 166k, WangXian, A/B/O Dynamics, but like polite, Slow Burn, Pining while fucking, so much hair combing, wwx has a vagina, POV WWX, no yin iron or wars or plot really, Canon Era, POV Alternating, Sexism, Pregnancy, brief attempted sexual assault, still 98 percent fluff)

FOUND! Restraint and Realization by Winglesss (E, 12k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha LWJ, Omega wwx, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mating Bites, Arranged Marriage, Idiots in Love, Miscommunication, Supportive LXC, Explicit Sexual Content, Scenting, Fluff and Angst, Porn with Feelings, Porn With Plot, Mutual Pining, Happy Ending, Lack of Communication) its a/b/o but wxx is going to get punished for cultivating but lwj takes it instead

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16. im looking for a fic and its driving me wild because i could have sworn i bookmarked it on ao3: cw for lack of consent, sort of? basically lwj and wwx are married but wwx thinks lwj doesn't like him and tries to seduce him, they have sex but its not good or what wwx wants and he passes out and lwj gets lxc to fix stuff?? they eventually talk it out, very angsty with a happy ending :)

NOT FOUND! A Marriage Story by DeviyudeThoolika (E, 38k, WangXian, NieLan, married wangxian, but there are some complications, because it’s marriage, Sex is complicated, Angst and Pining, Pining while fucking, Mature elements., Mutual Pining, HEA, Arranged Marriage, Sort Of, Misunderstandings, of epic proportions, One True Pairing, Good Sibling JC, Good Parent YZY, Fluff and Angst, in that order, Slow Burn, Angst with a Happy Ending, Everyone Loves WWX)

FOUND! As It Should Be by kuro (M, 36k, wangxian, arranged marriage, slow burn, fluff & angst, miscommunication, dub con, accidental baby acquisation, siblings, running away, (from your problems), eventual fluff)

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17. Hey! This is an nsfw ask, if that's okay?

I'm looking for a modern fic with the following situation. Lan zhan is either an immortal or a mythical being, I'm not sure which. Wei ying is a human. Well, LZ has the ability to smell WY's arousal so to speak. Once LZ visits WY's apartment right after WY did the deed. WY upon opening the door after cleaning up is surprised to see LZ looking at him so weird. WY invites him inside and later finds LZ by the window opening it and letting the wind flow inside.

When they finally get together after a long time WY finds out about LZ's ability and then suddenly gets why LZ opened WY's window that time.

FOUND! Lost and Found by diamondbruise (E, 51k, WangXian, Modern AU, Aliens, Slow Burn, Alien LWJ, Crack Treated Seriously, Soulmates, Kid Fic, .....kind of, i use that tag very loosely, Masturbation, Rough Sex, canon typical cnc elements, Happy Ending) the described scene is in chapter two

~*~

18. heyy, for your next fic finder can i ask if you might about a time travel(most probably) fic where LWJ quite literally dragged QHJ out of seclusion?

FOUND? Looking at You Always, All Ways by Keysmashed (T, 29k, WangXian, Time Travel, Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Nostalgia, Subtly Assertive LWJ, WWX Won't Back Down But Blushes Anyway, very mild angst, Angst with a Happy Ending) has a scene where lan zhan requests an audience with his father, tells him about what could happen in the future, and then his father comes out of seclusion

FOUND? Menace, to headache, to…nephew in law? by Nyatci (T, 5k, LQR & WWX, wangxian, LQR & QHJ, canon divergence, time travel fix-it, characters watching the series, LQR pov, good uncle LQR, cloud recesses study arc, crack treated seriously) For 18, well, it's not LWJ, but LQR was implied to have done that in this fic

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19. I was on Reddit and found this fanfic someone mentioned and I wanted to send it here to see if I could get any luck! “with WWX as Gordon Ramsay and LWJ as single dad who brings his son, reluctantly, to the kids cooking session. But he doesn't like WWX because on TV he's always mean and then later he sees how good he's with kids and stuff.”

~*~

20. Hi! I’m looking for a fix-it series where LQR notices LWJ has a crush on WWX during the lesson period. He gives the the two of them tutoring lessons and the first part ends w WangXian making out in the library lol

The series ends w them married after fixing the Sunshot campaign and adopting LSZ

Some minor ships in the series are JYLxJZX, JWYxWQ, NHSxWN

Tysm for all your hard work in this fandom!

FOUND? Just Say Yes series by edenwolfie (M, 338k, wangxian, canon divergence, matchmaking, pining, cloud recesses study arc, getting together, fluff, humor, hurt/comfort, everyone lives au)

~*~

[swifty-fox]

Spoilers for your newest chapter of KFAKYM, but I think it kind of reminds me when I was younger as a baby bi realizing that just because a couple or experience is same-gender doesn't mean that sexual communication is automatically easy. I'd kind of assumed that as an AFAB person that preferences were automatically the same and realized that's not true physically or mentally. James clearly doesn't intend to trigger or upset Gale during their hookup but does, because turn-ons for him are off-putting at best, actually and literally triggering for Gale. Part of it is obviously the period of the time and Gale's own hidden trauma, but I feel like James would not be unusual for his time to assume that, because they're both gay vets who've been in POW camps, that it'll be fine? There's a callback I think to an earlier chapter in which Gale admits that he'd get in fights all the time as a lonely, unwanted child and it seems like he feels like he's not only unwanted by John but too isolated to really engage with others that his trauma has brought him back to that.

oooo yes lets talk about James!!!

I went back and forth and did a Lot of Editing to make sure James and the way he and Gale have sex came off with a lot of nuance. He's not a good guy, but he's not evil either.

“You’re so beautiful,” James repeats roughly, biting down on the arch of Gale's chest until he hisses. There’s something desperate and dark to James’ desire. A man taking one last sip of wine before the gallows. “What’d they do with a pretty boy like you in the army huh? Pass you around for the officers?

He's literally being compared to someone facing execution (heterosexual Marriage) this is his last chance to have full agency of his sexuality, his body, and who he gets to give it to. And yes he's trying to be sexy trying to flirt, and it is NOT working for Gale (for a multitude of reasons lol) In some ways it is exciting, in a kinda 'holy shit I cant believe you said that' sorta way but that isn't always a good thing. Like I've talked about how the taboo can be arousing it can also come from a place of harm, at least in this specific instance. if it were a different day, different emotional state, different person maybe would feel differently about this line of dialogue

He feels dizzy, arousal and anger and some breed of delight at James’ depravity engaged in a sick dance around his brain.

For Gale he's approaching this out of spite. To show he can and damn him he's just gunna do it. Sometimes you have sex just to prove you can and that's not necessarily a bad thing but Gale is in such a heightened state it swiftly turns into an act of self harm. He's been in a triggered state ever since the car backfiring with John Sr. in fact. This breakdown/snapping has been building all day and layers keep being added until he hits his limit.

But yeah at this point in time all Gale has is John (in his eyes) Throughout this fic he only feels safe with John, feels like he's the only one he can truly talk to. He struggles with Marge again and again and even though she would be a wonderful support system he can't separate himself from John. He led himself to the slaughter by being too loyal of a dog :)

[halfusek]

so lemme just put it out there: using AI for generating art, nevermind if for a joke or seriously, in this point of time, plain sucks

i’m refering here to that bendy highschool crush anime thing whatever i refuse to interact with stuff about this so i’m not exactly familiar but what matters is that it was AI generated AND even more so it was not mentioned anywhere that it was until people started pointing it out

there’s a few problems with that

first one is obvious - just the use of AI - as yall probably know its been a highly controversial topic these past few months, because of course it’s built on thief - first stealing artists’ work and then stealing their jobs; a joke or not it STILL uses that based in thief technology... though there do exist some AIs that asks artists for constent, for example the one that deviantArt created recently (and people misunderstood and spread a lot of false information about but oh well that’s a whole other thing) BUT generally these services for AI generation of images steal from artists - and not only! - they just take anything they can find fitting on the internet, even stock images and there was a case about a stock image site suing one of these AI services because *yeah* it’s just thief

another layer to all that adds the context of the game they made itself... like... BATIM/BATDR’s story is at its core about exploitation of artists and - apparently wether they like it or not - evils of capitalism (i still cant comprehend how Mike Mood can be anti union after making a game like this but like lol). it’s about art, about struggle with it and it’s just soooo out of touch to do something like this for a company making such game like hello?? if you wanna take from how artists are abused in big corporations then maybe have some decency and don’t use tools that abuse artists??? like that’s just so in bad taste man i have no words

then comes the fact that they waited with mentioning that AI is used is in the video. it STILL isn’t in the description of the video (the time im making this post is 13th april 2023 so the vids been up for 12 days), which i think AIs these days even require to be given credit?? but either way a lot of people didn’t even realize AI was used and i don’t blame them, not everyone pays attention to details or has an eye for them, this is why such information should be included... if it supposedly was meant to be “part of the joke” all along

which i find hard to believe? sure it came out on april first but.. how exactly is it a part of the joke? the AI generation was simply used for making the art for this fictional joke game. it could have as well been drawn by a real artist and no part of the joke would have been lost because it’s not part of the joke at all? like it’s not mentioned anywhere and it’s not obvious (Meatly even said they heavily photoshoped the images because they looked bad) so i’m asking how exactly AI being used is part of the joke here because it just seems like it was used as a mean of creation here and there was an attempt to hide that it was done at all

and if they really didn’t wanna spend time and effort on drawing it themselves (i get it, they might be busy with other things) then just A. don’t?? make anything?? or B. use an AI that doesn’t steal from artists and credit it so people know? and if it’s reeeeaaally a part of the joke then actually make it part of the joke? even a singular line of commentary laughing off at AI would make this actually work but there’s just nothing

i’m glad that Meatly said they aren’t planning on using it for anything serious but using it for a joke is still using it like sorry but that’s just how it is

and the whole ordeal of not saying what AI it is just rubs me the wrong way because high chance is they aren’t doing that because this AI is one of those that steal from artists so... eh... like i realize this is an assumption but i think it’s fair to be a bit skeptical about them after everything they’ve done :’)

[pebiejeebies]

PART 10 (FINALE) OF MY CABLOON ANALYSIS! GO TO MY #CABLOON-ANALYSIS TAG TO FIND THE FIRST POST!

(I’m gonna make it easier to access the older ones, I’ll make a master post, then I’ll make it so you can check the next part by a link so you don’t manually tire yourself, give me some time cause I need a mental break from my shutdown 😭‼️)

Literally one of the most precious moments I’ve screen recorded in my whole life, the way he’s sitting beside her, laughing just like her, writing in her files, both of them equally sharing the same annoyed stare at silver spoon (Which is something a lot more common than I thought it was)

THIS.

This is just.. *wipes away tear*

Too perfect..

I wonder what happens to Mephone..? (Good lord I am still traumatized till this 

Now expect MANY MANY MANY random screenshots of my babies togethr 

STOP HOW BALLOON EXCITEDLY INFODUMPS WITH CABBY JANSHEHSHQJJEDHHJWWJ

They’re autistics in love I tell you

LOOK AT HOW HE’S TOUCHING HER AHHH (please don’t thkae that out of context omfg—)

I have a feeling that she was slightly uncomfortable here (sTOP PROJECTING YOURSELF ONTO CABBY PEBIE!! STOP!!)

Its canon guys he was trying to impress her here too

Why else would he give her that smug ass look?!/vpos

Then he sees uninterested cabby and gets sad :(

stop guys it’s actually so sad

The way she got excited when she said that was SO SASAADDDDD 

SHES SO STRESSED OMG I FEEL YOU GIRL AAHHHHHH

AHAHGSGAHHSHHEHGWG😭😭‼️‼️

I CANTT THE POOR GIRL IS HORRIFIED

Unsure if she was looking at Mephone or Balloon, but I guess they’re beside each other here, so uh excuse me lol

STOP

STOOOOPPP

THEYRE IN SYNC YALL

LOOOOOOOOK!!! HANDS ON HIPS, SAME FUCKING FACE TWICE, AND IN THE SAME SCENE TOO OMFG

CABBY AND BALLOON RAISE ONE HAND AUTISTICALLY, AND THE OTHER LIKE SILVER SPOON, FROM. THE. SAME. SIDE. AND LITERALLY HAVE A SIMILAR FACE!! I-I CANT BELIEVE HOW MUCH THEYRE ACTING LIKE EACH OTHER WITHOUT EVEN NOTICING IT IM FUCKING EVAPORATING AND EXPLODING… EXVAPORATING!!!

THATS LIKE.. 3 SYNCED POSES + EMOTIONS IN ONE SCENE IM GONNA CRY

GRRRRRR HOW COULD YOU SHAKE MY BOY LIKE THAT!!

ALSO. WHO THE FUCK DARES CALL MY BABIES INSECTS.. LOOK WHO THE FUCK CAME FROM THE DEPTHS OF EARTH ITSELF LOOKING LIKE ONE!!/silly /nsrs /omfgdontkillmeafterthisplease—

Erm actually… Cabby and Balloon are definitely engaging after this. Real. And uh she has AWESOME YINYANG, AAAAND BOT!! Balloom has an awkwardly clingy and.. well.. pathetic friend aswell, but hey! Even they have something to leave with! Look at silver spoon..

He doesn’t have candle on his side anymore

Btw.. look at this: You see how Balloon is holding his arm and looking at cabby?

Do you think he, well… wants to hold her hand?

LIKE— NO SERIOUSLY LOOK

STOOOPP AAAHHH MY HEART

YOU CANT TELL ME THAT HE ISNT WORRIED ABOUT CREEPING HER OUT IF HE HELD HER HAND

(Uh wow maybe me projecting myself up there could make sense— OH MY GOD IM GETTING SO MUCH HEADCANONS IM HAVING A HEADACHE YEEEOWWCH)

It’s either (Read this well cause it might confuse you the first time you read it)

He wants comfort from her

Or

He wants to comfort her

Or

This is all accidentally lining up too well

Or

I’m just delusional and this isn’t even lining up at all

WOOOOAAAAAHHH!! EPIC BATTLE SCENE IN REEAAALL LIIIFFFEEEEE?££\#+@}+++}={==£[&$]^)-][.

(Just distract yourself Pebie, ignore how AE made an evil alter of silver spoon aswell.. calm DOWN)

STOOOOOPPPP!! WE GET IT!! THEYRE SOULMATES!! H.. HOW DO THESE TWO HAVE SO MUCH SIMILAR MOMENTS LIKE THIS OMFG/vvvvvvpos

My babies are sticking together OMFG I’m actually exvaporting STICK TOGETHER BABIES!! YOULL GET OUT OF THIS ALIVE!!! HH.HOPEFYKLU

IMANNAHAHWGSBHDJDJAKAKKSNDJD

IM SHAKKIIJHHHHH OKDMDHAHBBAHHHWHGGDGGDAAAAAA

WEEEE SHE SAID WE

SHE SAID WE OMFGGFGAFFSFVS

THE WAY SHE SAVED HIM IN CLUCTH IM FGGISNNG

IM GONNA.CRUY. IM SUBHIAJJJJSJ

LISTEN UP WALKIE TALKIE. YOU DONT DRAE THREATEN CABBY’S FUTURE HUSBAND AND GET AWAY WITH IT GRRRRRRYEHAHWJSJ

But let’s be fr, As much as I love Mephone and his silly shenanigans, this literally affected me the same way it did for them, just.. look at their faces man :(

NOOO NOOO!! STOP STOP STOOOP I DIDNT AGREE TO THIS!1 DONT HURT THEM!! PLLEEEAAAAASSSSEEEEEE 😭😭😭‼️‼️‼️ IM LITERALLY SHIVERING FOR THEM OMFG MY BABIES

I SWEAR IF YOU LAY A FINGER ON ANY OF THEM ILL FUCKING—

Deep betreath… breeaathehees… I’m not ANGRY. nooo wayhhhy.  ,.,,uhm..—

HEY AE.. DO THEY MAKE IT SO THEY ALL LIKE MEPHONE IN THE END?? CAUSE LIKE.. It would be so awesome, it would be so cool—

Yeah WHOOOOH!! I took yesterday night, from 8/9pm to 11pm, STYAED UP ALL NIGHT CAUSE I COULDNT SLEEP FROM THESE TWO, stayed up until like.. 10am, fell asleep, woke up at 2:40pm and BAM! FINSIHED AFTER A DAY!! YIPPIEROONIES!!! (Edit: Two days, since I had to leave, came back at 9:50pm, finished at 11pm cause bedtime lockdown, then woke up at 10am today and started to do it again, so I technically finished at 2pm today)

I have a feeling that someone reading this started liking the ship, or felt curious about their rare pair interaction (if they had any/lh), but either way, I’ll tell you how THIS rare pair even EXSISTED.

(THE LORE OF WHY I EVEN SHIPPED CABLOON)

Let’s start from the beginning. In some of the episodes, before I knew I kin cabby, I always had a little fascination towards balloon, his issues living with him for so long and how he still struggles to make a good image of himself was just. Cute to me (stop I KNOW you simp for objects too.. DONT DENY IT!!)

And at episode 17, after I found out I kin cabby, I started to like their interactions more, and since this ship was a HEAVY SELF INSERT, It somehow made sense.

They both struggled to gain a good image, they both had a toxic friendship in the past that got resolved, they both have TOO MUCH ISSUES, and they both act like each other so much it’s actually wild

None of us EVER cared to really analyze hidden relationships in the show, and this is actually a good example, if I never simped for balloon like the ‘loon’atic I am

*knee slap*

I would’ve NEVER noticed their cute feelings for each other

As much as I wanna continue talking, I feel like this ramble will never end, so I give you a cabloon doodle!

And I bid you farewell *bows dramatically*

[camzverse]

CASSIDY MICHAEL AND ROXY!!!!!

YAAYYY

sorry for answering like two weeks late btw 💀💀💀💀 ignore rhattt

(i wanted 2 do all three but like theres practically no canon information about cassidy.. this shit a travesty forreal. like what do we even know about her besides some logbook and ucn stuff. Sighh............ so just mikey n roxy i GUESS)

michaelllll

favorite thing about them: either the way he just watches that little vampire soap opera every night (So silly) or the fact he can draw. his little drawings in the logbook...

least favorite thing about them: him being a little BITCH in fnaf4. he was straiggt up INFURIATING. if i ever encountered 1983 mike its ON SIGHT

favorite line: "he tripped and fell on freddys teeth not our fault" <-ITS SO FUNNY TO ME WHAT IS HIS PROBLEM . that or his whole "i should be dead but im not im going to come find you" speech it was pretty cool tbh. he ate

brOTP: Does he even have friends. wait do him and helpy count theyre so silly. freak corpse father and little toy bear son... im not sure what does and doesnt count as a brotp lmao

OTP: dont really care that much for shipping him but jeremike is soo fun :3 i like them

nOTP: ummm idk i guess just. Not the icky stuff yk. cant really think of anything else

random headcanon: i personally lov the idea that he kinda designed foxy. like he came up w the idea in like a drawing. i think its neat

unpopular opinion: idk exactly how unpopular this is but ive seen a loott of people saying it and. i dont think mike was mean 2 evan bc elizabeth died and he took it out on him or Whatever tf it is people think (i also dont even think she was dead at this point. imo) i think he was just mean bc. he just was mean yk. he just enjoyed being mean to ev and scaring him. as older brothers often do. i just dont think there was some deeper reason i really believe he was just being mean for the sake of fucking w his sibling. side note i dont think he ever wouldve taken it as far as the bite incident on his own i think that was jst a special case bc his bullying was being super enabled by his equally dickheaded friends. ykwim? not like he wasnt at fault he absolutely was but like i think it was a mob mentality kinda thing. if thta even makes sense. Anyway

song i associate with them: cop car by mitski.... something something "i will never die" Also michael afton + dog metaphor makes me insane

favorite picture of them:

he is Lookingg..

roxyy!!!

favorite thing about them: i LOVE her design. and also her personality. shes just a really cool and interesting character as a whole i like what theyve done in creating her. Ok thats not really a fav thing ermm im gonna go w her design cuz it goes so hard

least favorite thing about them: shes a gregory hater and i cannot get behind that !! Sorry queen u fell off

favorite line: def either "sign up today and be a WINNER! nobody likes a loser 🙄🙄" (i love the way she says it its so funny 2 me) or "i remember because you are number one—twice :)" (aww CRIES)

brOTP: do her and cassie count. Theyre everything. i really do not think i am understanding brotp correctly but its not like theres that many options either. whatevr. OOHhhh yk what i really fw roxy-freddy friendship. their dynamic intrigues me....

OTP: also not big on shipping for roxy but i yhink roxica is cutee ^_^

nOTP: umm i have no idea actualky. lmao

random headcanon: she is a #lesbian she kisses girls shes a big fan of women etc u get it. also hc that when kids go in her green room and they play the racing arcade machine she starts backseat gaming them like crazy . shes just mad she cant play the game herself lmao

unpopular opinion: umm i dont think i really have one Question mark.. tbh i feel like people dont talk about roxy that much so im not sure what Is a popular opinion. people should talk about her more shes interesting

song i associate with them: what you waiting for by gwen stefani!!!!! actually bc of that one roxy drawing u made that had that song LOL

favorite picture of them:

shes so cool..

[borathae]

DONE WITH ANOTHER EXAM u know what that means???

Chapter 34

fuck where is yoongi 😭😭😭kook come to ur senses please

OMG YOONGI wait did he just come because of kook, bruh we could have made out like a week ago 😔✊🏻

omg im so scared and nervous i wanna cry even tho its kook being scolded

NO DONT KILL HIM WTF YOONGI NO

“Thanks, but I can manage myself. I did so splendidly in the last two weeks” fr

He made you believe that he abandoned you. And now he is back. the entire para just summed up what we all felt Your anger feels so misplaced. Yoongi had a lot going on. After a millennia he felt again. He must have been so overwhelmed. Who knows what guilt and pain he went through those past two weeks. that is also true and idk what to feel aaaah feeling the pain of both people. DAMN U JUST PORTRAYED THAT SO WELL AND SUBTLE I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE IT

Where are those goddamn band aids FUCKING REAL U CAN NEVER FIND IT WHEN U NEED IT and u will find it in the same room, same drawer a week later 🥲

You made him turn his emotions on. It was your fault that he left in the first place. Be angry at yourself, that’s what you should do. its not exactly your fault, just a situation that had to happen

“Stupid bathroom!” you yell, throwing another cabinet closed. #justiceforcabinet2024

wow why is he so chill all of a sudden *trust issues be working on overtime

Is that what Jungkook could have too? 😭😭 yoongi pls dont leave again, i wanna be extra proud of kook

oh kook is sleeping for now (wtf i felt like a mama bird for a second there)

“Yes?” he exclaims, turning around almost excitedly. sir whats going on?? is it the emotions??? omg he is a pookie pls i love him bing bang boong forgiven already, who left for 2 weeks? nobody, idk such a thing

Now that he is so close again, you have forgotten everything you had wanted to tell him. oh it wasnt just me lol

“Doesn’t matter, I’m back now”, OK THATS IT FOLKS HE IS GOING TO LEAVE AGAIN 😭😭😭

oh a new plant 😭

Is he just staring? Oh dear. He is. PLEASE OUR SHY KITTY 😭😭

Oh how excited he sounds without even noticing that he does. 😭😭 do you want all of us to just cry every damn line? cuz u had done it

Yoongi is by your side, pretending to do the same while in reality he was looking at your face the whole time. HA SIMP ALERT (pls simp more we are simping for it)

“It’s not bad”, he agrees. You scoff, “such enthusiasm” Yoongi stumbles after you down the path, grumbling quietly. he is such a tsundere kitty i cant OFC HE LOVES HAND HOLDING NEVER LET GO

They are so bloody tiring” mood but numbness is too scary soo..

“They’re flowers, I don’t see any difference”, he grumbles, I LOVE HIM AND THE WAY YOU WRITE HIM I LOVE THEIR BICKER OVER SORRY HIS GRANDPA RUN AAAAH *watches a compilation

YOONGI BOONGI YAY HE ACCEPTED IT HAHA CUTIE PIE

“Forget it. I didn’t want to do it anyway”, i was cackling until i remembered this is how i act with mom, oh mom im sorry

YAY THEY ARE GOING GROCERY SHOPPING ALL DOMESTIC shit taehyung my baby 😭😭 THE JACKET RAAAAH

damn 1963, my mom wasnt born yet

no yoongi we dont growl here pls *blinks 😃😄😃 🫠 “he’s having a phase, please ignore him.” A PHASE STOP 😭

he is trying his hardest to stifle a laugh. THE JOKE PLS I LOVE HER HAHA guess he is going to have a hard time doing that

WE KISSED IN THE SNOW YIPEE YIPPEEE YIPPEEE YEEHAW HEE HOOO ✨🧚🏻🎆🎇💖😍🤩😻

ACCEPT THE COMPLIMENT YOONGLES YOURE A PRETTY MF GOT IT???

HOLY SHIT IT WAS A SPY DAMN WE JUST SAW A MURDER i literally just shivered

oh this time he answers her questions properly thats a difference hm

WTF OOF DAMN I - (did ever tell u that i love your writing and this bombastic story?)

It is not every day that you watch someone get beheaded or find out that someone wanted to fuck your dead body fr im still shivering and goosebumps are still there.

i love when they do vampire zoom haha

I’ve just lived long enough to have learned the skill.” Tae: 😃 ALSO IM SORRY YOONGI I LOVE THAT YOU CAME BACK but when is tae getting out?? 👉🏻👈🏻 great TAE MY BABY IM SORRY 😭😭 I CANT DO ANYTHING

“Are you manipulating me? she may or may not do that, but can she actually do that to you? yeah she cant so stop saying this

GREAT HE LEFT AGAIN WHERE ARE U NOW

i love when they talk, like everything just gets deeper, both her and him, the plot

OMG YOONGI wait did he just come because of kook, bruh we could have made out like a week ago 😔✊🏻

fjasdjf no he was genuinely in the midst of coming back when he suddenly heard the noises and then just came running 😭

He made you believe that he abandoned you. And now he is back. the entire para just summed up what we all felt Your anger feels so misplaced. Yoongi had a lot going on. After a millennia he felt again. He must have been so overwhelmed. Who knows what guilt and pain he went through those past two weeks. that is also true and idk what to feel aaaah feeling the pain of both people. DAMN U JUST PORTRAYED THAT SO WELL AND SUBTLE I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE IT

NO BUT I AM SO :( FOR BOTH OF THEM :((

You made him turn his emotions on. It was your fault that he left in the first place. Be angry at yourself, that’s what you should do. its not exactly your fault, just a situation that had to happen

the way you can see the learned guilt in her and in everything she does :(

wow why is he so chill all of a sudden *trust issues be working on overtime

I feel like he is just really nervous and trying not to scare her away with too much movement :(((

“Yes?” he exclaims, turning around almost excitedly. sir whats going on?? is it the emotions??? omg he is a pookie pls i love him bing bang boong forgiven already, who left for 2 weeks? nobody, idk such a thing

of course it's the emotions heheh <3 he is in loveeee <3

oh a new plant 😭

HE IS IN LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Is he just staring? Oh dear. He is. PLEASE OUR SHY KITTY 😭😭

I LOVE HIGMMGMGM

Oh how excited he sounds without even noticing that he does. 😭😭 do you want all of us to just cry every damn line? cuz u had done it

jfasdjf me fr fjadsjfa

Yoongi is by your side, pretending to do the same while in reality he was looking at your face the whole time. HA SIMP ALERT (pls simp more we are simping for it)

HE IS SO SWEET AND CUTE AND IN LOVEEEEEE

“It’s not bad”, he agrees. You scoff, “such enthusiasm” Yoongi stumbles after you down the path, grumbling quietly. he is such a tsundere kitty i cant OFC HE LOVES HAND HOLDING NEVER LET GO

no but I love him so much!!!!!!

They are so bloody tiring” mood but numbness is too scary soo..

100% :( gosh my boongie :(

“They’re flowers, I don’t see any difference”, he grumbles, I LOVE HIM AND THE WAY YOU WRITE HIM I LOVE THEIR BICKER OVER SORRY HIS GRANDPA RUN AAAAH *watches a compilation

same same same !!! I love him so much !!!!

damn 1963, my mom wasnt born yet

lmaoa mine was like 2 and my dad 3 kfadkf

no yoongi we dont growl here pls *blinks 😃😄😃 🫠 “he’s having a phase, please ignore him.” A PHASE STOP 😭

THIS IS SO FUNNY TO ME BAHAHHAHAH

he is trying his hardest to stifle a laugh. THE JOKE PLS I LOVE HER HAHA guess he is going to have a hard time doing that

I LOVE HIM HE IS SO IN LOVEE

WE KISSED IN THE SNOW YIPEE YIPPEEE YIPPEEE YEEHAW HEE HOOO ✨🧚🏻🎆🎇💖😍🤩😻

I genuinely love this chapter so much 😭😭

HOLY SHIT IT WAS A SPY DAMN WE JUST SAW A MURDER i literally just shivered

HE IS SO COOL FOR MURDER THOUGH :)

i love when they do vampire zoom haha

lmaooa me

“Are you manipulating me? she may or may not do that, but can she actually do that to you? yeah she cant so stop saying this

I feel like she can JFAJDFJ he is way too smitten for her JFJADSFJ

i love when they talk, like everything just gets deeper, both her and him, the plot

SAME SAME SAME !!!! I LOVE THEMEEEEEE !!

[forlorn-crows]

Crow I'm freaking out

It's August 1st and my first ritual (and first concert literally ever) is in 29 days. I'm practicly VIBRATING I'm so excited but I'm also stupid nervous. I have breezy clothes, ear plugs, tickets ready to be downloaded, I'm good on that, I'm just so worried with this being my first concert I'm going to forget something or mess something up? I wanted to draw all the ghouls and give them to them but found out they weren't doing a meet and greet when I bought the tickets so that's some anxiety I don't have to worry about but I seen someone said they accept stuff at the merch booth?? I didn't even know merch booths was a thing really

Sorry for spamming you a bit, you're just my favorite ghost blogger and I know you've been to a ritual before and could get advice on anything I'm forgetting 😅 thank you <3

okay first things first; you are NOT alone in feeling nervous, let me start with that. ive been to many a concert, and for some reason this one's making me quite anxious too (mines on the 12th! ahh!)! but listen, ghost as your first concert? that is GREAT choice

some things to consider; look up your venue's policy on bags, what can you bring/not bring? some venues have weird things on there, so you might want to double check that. for example, someone in front of me had to throw away their chain from their wallet, couldn't wear it in. only bring it what you really need. last time i only brought my id, credit card, car keys (JUST the car key, my other keys were IN the car lol) and your phone (where i presume your ticket will also be). i recommend pockets when you can, a small back without too many pockets for quick check-in as you go through security. for your sake and theirs!

if you're gonna be in direct sun; SUNSCREEN. PLS. FOR THE LOVE OF SATAN. protecting your skin is super important.

ear plugs are IMPORTANT TOO! im glad you have them. you will absolutely be able to hear everything, dont fret about that.

i might also recommend sturdy/closed toed/comfy shoes. its so easy to get your feet stepped on accidentally for whatever reason , no matter if youre in the pit or have a seat. and you dont want your feet to hurt halfway through either

i also wouldnt bother with complicated accessories or things that are easily lost/pulled (i.e. long necklaces, dangly earrings, lots of rings), they just become a hassle. to me, anyway.

as far as the drawings go, i havent heard about being able to gift anything via the merch table (usually theyre situated by the entrance to the venue where they sell all the cool stuff!). lots of people test their luck by throwing shit on stage at the end of the show but, personally, im not the biggest fan of doing that. also i cant throw for shit lol. i know a lot of people are sad about the no papa meet and greet. i wish the ghouls still participated in those like they used to way back when, but once cardi came about i believe that stopped.

bottom line is, dress comfy and have a good time! let me know if you have any more specific questions

also your FAV ghost blog?? lksjdfdslk i dont know how to respond to that ahhh

[liliallowed]

Since seelkie!Y/N probably doesn't know what the sky is cause they probably cant read they probably think the night sky is lke another ocean and i find that so funny.

"Do you think if we of sat on Crimson's head and went towards the sky we would be able to touch the glowing jellyfish in the sky?"

I have no idea how much the other two can comprehend science but I feel like they would still think "yeah no that's wrong"

But Crimson would also egg them on and be like "No I'm pretty sure there glowing sea stars" (They know that's not true but this is so funny)

So yeah that's my silly little thought that came to me. It makes me wonder how much are the three educated on stuff out of the sea?

lol yeah they have no idea.

out of the two dust is the nerdiest when it comes to stars. the dolphin mers are one of the most curious and knowledge seeking bunch out of any siren! he knows there's a pattern to stars and he often uses them to find his way around the sea in nighttime! he's also been interested in studying them ever since he was a pup!

he doesn't know what stars ARE. but he knows they're useful for mapping out places and finding general direction.

though they disappeare when it's cloudy or it rains. dust thinks stars are pretty. he doesn't want to think much about WHAT they are tho. the stars seem to be either afraid of the sun or the sun might simply just be covering them up like the clouds... he isn't sure.

dust can't read human languages but he can read his own native siren text and other mer carvings... the jumped mess of ancient leviathan text crimson brings him thoooo he has no idea wtf that is. it's just some gibberish squiggly lines.

crimson head canons stars as other leviathans in a VEEEEERRRRY distant ocean upwards. they think stars are albgler fish traps out there.

that's gotta be a BIIIIIIIG angler fish for it's light to reach this far. and the sun is like this... weird glowy orb that comes and goes in-between the sky ocean and ground ocean.

no they don't believe the earth is flat because to them instead of north south west and east you can also go "up" and "down"

so to them earth isn't a surface it's a MASS! they don't think it's flat either. that's just dump. where would all the water go?

crimson is completely illiterate lol. they have no idea how to read anything. it wasn't really useful when it came to developing survival skills in the ocean.

as for y/n? they can read other ocean people's interpretations of their own language. so... like after a few words and telepathic tuning they CAN speak any mer language!

as for reading... that might take longer for them to learn. even with direct telepathy they still need to memorize the text pattern TO the meaning. (kinda like how Anya from spy x family would solve difficult questions if she had someone who knew the answer next to her)

this isn't the case for humans as selkies cannot read human minds. so y/n PROBABLY doesn't know how to read or write in human language.

there are selkies who have jobs and bring in fish for humans, trade stuff with them and speak their language... but even they aren't fluent in human tongue as they wear ugly masks and carry weapons for self defense.

humans are dangerous. so unless there's a need to be involved with them there's no point learning their language is there?

out of all three y/n can speak and translate the most sealife languages due to their innate ability. they also know a bit of siren glyphs but it's basically just them knowing their alphabet and the word hello.

they're a quick learner tho!