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petitmori · 1 year

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How do I know if I let you stay? How do I know if we did it your way? You wouldn't take my place Put me away, I'd die lookin' up at your face How do I ever know? Who can I trust? Feelings of emptiness Only love could kill me, God bless

Indie Astarion Ancunín from Baldur's Gate 3. Non-selective and open to AU, OC, and crossovers. Discord given to mutuals only. Personals do not interact. Rules under readmore. ( Sideblog @illintent )

RULES

First of all, thank you for visiting this page. Even if you only skim this, I’ll love you forever. Most of these rules are pretty basic, common sense stuff, but I would really appreciate it if you read them. I know it’s long, but I’m just trying to make sure no one is offended or uncomfortable. I’ll try to make this as painless as possible. Bear with me. I’ll try to bold the basics.

— the basics.

I have a few verses to choose from, and I’ll probably place you in the one that will most easily fit with your character’s canon unless otherwise specified.

Astarion isn’t always the most pleasant person. Please know that anything mean said is not a reflection of the mun’s feelings. IC =/= OOC.

Don’t god-mod.

OC and Au friendly, but please have an about page so I can gauge whether our characters will be able to interact.

Memes and opens are free game – anyone can send one or respond to one. However, I may not respond for some reason or another: it may be in violation of one of my other rules, or due to external factors. If you’re worried that I missed something, feel free to come to me about it, but please don’t constantly badger me for replies. It’s rude.

I reserve the right to refuse to roleplay, especially if I’m uncomfortable.

DO NOT under any circumstances try to bring me into out of character drama. If you have a problem with me, contact me privately or just unfollow. Vague blogging, callout posts and the like are annoying, and I ask that you would tag them. This is something I will unfollow over if I so please.

— on selectivity.

I will be selective with my threads and who I interact with. I would love to interact with everyone, but I’m very busy with school and other blogs, and I don’t want to overload myself. If this bothers you, feel free to unfollow. If you have any questions about whether I have time, feel free to jump into my ask.

Also, I am far more likely to RP with mutuals. That’s not to say I won’t RP with those I don’t follow or those who won’t follow me, there may be exceptions. But it is far more likely. That being said: if I follow you, I want to write with you. Probably a lot. I’m just too shy to say anything because I’m a weenie pissbaby.

Starter calls, unless otherwise specified, are for mutuals only.

— on content.

I’m 20+, so mature content is cool with me. NSFW and triggering content will be present on this blog, but it will also be tagged in the following manner: n.s.f.w., tw:

As for smut: first of all, I will not smut with anyone under the age of 18. Don’t ask me to; the answer will be no. And just in general, don’t come to me looking for smut. I’m not terribly good at writing it, so it’s very unlikely that it will occur on this blog. I need to be pretty comfortable with someone to smut with them. If by some miracle a thread is looking like it’s going to get smutty, feel free to hop into my ask and talk to me about it. We’ll figure something out.

In relation to that, please do not send me overtly sexual memes if we have not interacted. Kissing memes are fine, but I tend to get uncomfortable with anything beyond that. Please respect this.

— on replies.

I’m an adaptive roleplayer, meaning I’ll likely respond in a manner similar to yours. If you format, I’ll format. If you don’t, I won’t. That sort of thing. I also try to match length with my replies, but some days I struggle. If you’re ever unhappy with the quality or length of a reply, please let me know and I’ll do my best to fix it.

I don’t always get to things right away. I’m notorious for avoiding drafts, and especially right now, I’m pretty busy with schoolwork. However, sometimes I’ll reply at the speed of light. It’s really varied, and I’m sorry about that.

Sometimes, I’ll drop things that’ve been in my drafts for too long, or things that I feel aren’t going anywhere. If you think I’ve dropped/missed/lost something that you wish to continue, come to me politely and we can talk about it.

— on shipping.

I’m admittedly kind of a ship-whore. If there are sparks, I likely ship it. I ship Astarion/Chemistry, but again, it’s rather unlikely that Astarion will engage in a sexual or even a romantic relationship. Them’s the breaks. BroTPs are great though. Also, I’m only human: I sometimes play favorites with my ships. Sorry.

Please please please DO NOT force a ship on me. It makes me extremely uncomfortable, and I will not hesitate to unfollow or even block you. I will try to politely let you know if I feel that our characters do/do not have chemistry.

— on credit.

Most icons, art and edits are made by myself, and are usually tagged as #my art or #my edits. Otherwise, I do not own anything!

— on the mun.

My name is Élise, I’m 20+, living in Midwest America, EST. Feel free to contact me via ask at any time. I love talking to you guys! Skype/discord is available to mutuals upon request – again, I reserve the right to refuse to give these for whatever reason. I have no triggers, so as long as you talk to me prior to introducing something triggering to a thread, I’ll be cool with it. Just talk to me about it beforehand and I should be fine, but if I’m not feeling it, please respect that.

That’s about it. Thanks so much for reading these. Smooches! <3

#ooc #pinned post

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inhindsight · 2 months

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Had the motivation to make an intro post !! Keep in mind this is bound to change as time goes on!!

Backporch Poltergeist is an inclusive safe space for good faith identities, all pluralfolk, alterhumans, selfship/proship folks, and honestly a lot more!

Hai !

My name - the main geist using the account, and the system host - is Esper ! You may see a few others, but it is safe to assume you're interacting with me!

I use hy/hymn/hy's , shy/hyr/hyr's , et/et's pronouns most usually, but for folks who struggle with neo/xenos I am perfectly okay with it/it's !

We ask you to remain respectful, and that's pretty much it. We love and appreciate asks, no matter the topic and will do our best to respond to all of them no matter the topic. The only thing I doubt we'll respond to is hate, for fairly obvious reasons.

We don't have a very strict DNI.

We ask that you keep in mind we are bodily a Minor. While virtually none of our headmates are the body's age, we still abide by rules to keep us safe. We are comfortable with adults interacting, so long as we are not sexualized and you're comfortable following a minor.

We enjoy being interacted with.

Ask games, reblog games, all of it is welcome! Mutuals, followers, or even just passersby are always allowed to interact as they please, no matter what it is or if they'll interact again.

Our favorite thing ever at the moment is reblog games, and we want to start one rather than just participating !!

Random content and post schedule !

We are super weird. We're a part of a handful of niche and "weird communities", and we try to interact with all of them!

We love posting for self shipping, it makes us very happy is generally very validating and heart warming. We're very active in pro-endo communities (more so on an older account we don't use anymore) and advocating for plural voices and plurals appreciating each other. We are less active in alterhuman spaces, but Many of our headmates use the label as a broad descriptor for their experiences!

Content may vary .

There's no telling when we'll post or what we'll post, but we'll try to tag it appropriately. Having such a wide variety of topics can be super confusing, so we'll try to keep it organized for everyone's sake ::

#Floorboards Tell Stories Via Stains :: Our personal rambles tag. Random, unthemed posts that may happen at any given point.

#Poltergeists For A Better Future :: A tag for our disability related posts. May be used for physical or mental disabilities, and will not have a distinguisher.

#Pluralgeist :: A silly tag for plurality related posts.

#Poltergeists In Love :: Our self ship tag! No telling what it may be specifically. Could vary from mindless babbles about F/Os, reblog games, related reblogs, ask games, relates asks, etc! Genuinely no telling what you'll find.

#Non-geist(?) Poltergeists :: Another silly tag, this time for alterhuman stuff.

Our posts will include our organizing tag and general tags for reach/viewing in no specific order. Some posts may have two organizing tags. If so, it's likely the subject tag and our personal ramblings tag.

#Adding our tags to this for my sake lmao #Floorboards Tell Stories Via Stains #<- rambling #Poltergeists For A Better Future #<- disability stuff #Pluralgeist #<- plurality stuff #Poltergeists In Love #<- selfship stuff #Non-Geist(?) Poltergeists #<- alterhumanity stuff

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queenshelby · 3 years

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Roommates – Part Fourteen

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Words: 1,580

Warning: Fluff

Note: This plays in 2020. It’s all fiction and not based on Cillian’s real life and family.

It has been a week since Cillian found out about Laura’s lie and, as expected, it took him some time to come to terms with it. Whilst, on one hand, he was relieved that she wasn’t pregnant after all he had been through with her, he was also somewhat disappointed by it. After all, he had been looking forward to finally becoming a father after him and his ex-wife Lindsay went through IVF for many years unsuccessfully.

Luckily for him, you knew that he was struggling and you were there to pick up the pieces and support him through this horrible initial week after he had found out.

Unfortunately for you, Laura had also since found out that you were involved with Cillian and ceased the opportunity to seek revenge which, for some reason, she still thought she was entitled to. Her friendship with most of your mutual friends had been destroyed after it was found out what she did. But this wasn’t your fault you thought. It was hers alone.

After sending you at least ten text messages, telling you how you were the most horrible person who had ever walked this earth, she informed James and most of your other friends and Cillian’s family about your relationship with Cillian in order to get them to turn on you instead of her.

As a result, James kept calling, messaging and emailing you constantly and you ran out of options on how to block him after he obtained several new phone numbers and email addresses so that he could harass you, thinking that you had been involved with Cillian for years.

As for your family and friends, you found it difficult to explain to them that there was only some truth to what Laura was saying. You tried hard to make clear to them that you were not in a relationship with Cillian and it was Cillian’s mother herself who didn’t take your and her son’s explanations serious.

‘I think my mother is set on the idea that we are together’ Cillian chuckled as he handed you the invitation to her 70th birthday which specifically mentioned you as his plus one.

‘She told me about it already. She also enquires about your wellbeing on a daily basis, darling. Apparently, you aren’t very forthcoming to her about your feelings. Luckily, her birthday not until after Christmas’ you laughed.

You had always gotten along well with Cillian’s mother since you met her almost ten years ago.

‘I am not sure if I should be more amused by the fact that my mother talks to you more often than to me or that she thinks that we will be out of lockdown by January next year’ Cillian then said, smiling before offering you a cup of tea.

‘Well, you know your mum and I get on like a house on fire, sweetheart’ you then joked before approaching Cillian and kissing him gently.

You didn’t usually kiss. Kissing was only to initiate sex which you have had plenty off over the past week even while Cillian was feeling rather depressed about what happened.

You knew that sex would get his mind of the pain Laura had caused him and you were more than willing to distract him from all the madness in his life.

In turn, sex led to you sharing a bed and, since you had sex every night and sometimes even during the day, you pretty much slept in the same room continuously for weeks on end. Sometimes you would stay in Cillian’s room while, on other nights, he would come to yours. It was almost like musical chairs.

But tonight, this was all about to change as, in the morning, you had just gotten your first period since you started being intimate with each other.

As such, you quickly apologised for the kiss you had just given him to ensure that he wouldn’t get the wrong idea about your intentions.

‘Shit, sorry. I didn’t mean to initiate anything. I was just sneaking in a cheeky little kiss’ you said somewhat embarrassed as you quickly pulled away from the kiss.

‘No period sex then I suppose?’ Cillian joked, knowing very well that this was off the table for you even though he had explained to you that it wouldn’t bother him.

‘Absolutely not Cillian’ you giggled before reaching for some more of the pain killers on the kitchen counter.

‘Well, if you change your mind tonight, you know where my bedroom is’ Cillian winked and you couldn’t help but shake your head in disgust.

‘Trust me Cilly, I won’t’ you chuckled.

‘Alright then. No sex tonight. Got it’ Cillian chuckled before offering you to fill up your hot water bottle. ‘How about I fill this up for you, we have some wine, order some pizza and watch a movie?’ Cillian suggested as he took the hot water bottle from you.

‘That would be nice’ you said, smiling and wanting to kiss him again, but refraining from doing so for obvious reasons. You reminded yourself that you weren’t more than friends with benefits, regardless of the rumours out there which Laura had spread.

***

Half an hour later, you finally settled in the living room with your hot water bottle and two glasses of red wine.

Being so close to Cillian and unable to be intimate with him bothered you and you could see that it bothered him too as he tried hard to keep his hands to himself.

Occasionally, you felt his hand brush over the top of your cotton pants and then move away quickly as if he was a shy little school boy who was doing something naughty and who thought you wouldn’t notice.

It was strange, the fact that you both only ever showed affection towards each other while, before or after you were having sex. But then again, of course, it was normal considering your arrangement. You were friends and, if kissing wouldn’t turn you both on so incredibly much, you probably wouldn’t even be doing that in the bedroom.

But even just in that moment, where he was sitting next to you and was watching a movie with you, you wanted to kiss him desperately and a kiss was all you wanted.

You felt the urge to snuggle up against him and rest your head against his chest but you thought that this also would be inappropriate you restrained yourself from it for the remainder of the evening.

***

At around 10 o’clock, you finally called it a night. You were tired and exhausted and needed a good nights’ sleep.

Unfortunately for you, sleep was something you struggled with and it was when you lay in your bed for an hour, tossing and turning with your eyes wide open, that you realised what was missing.

It was the warmth which would normally radiate from Cillian’s body when you cuddled up against him and it was the scent of his skin you breathed in when laying in his arms.

Even if you couldn’t be intimate with him, you wanted to be near him, kiss him and cuddle him and feeling this way about him wasn’t something you were prepared for.

***

Little did you know that you weren’t the only one craving this kind of closeness and non-sexual intimacy. Cillian also was laying on his bed, restless and unable to sleep, realising that something was missing.

He adored the smell of your hair and the softness of your skin pressed against his. He loved spooning against you while you held his arms tight as he wrapped them around you.

He also loved the little sounds you were making in your dreams when there was clearly something pleasurable on your mind.

He soon realised that his efforts to simply fall asleep like this on his own were going to be futile and he decided to get himself another glass of water from the kitchen and settle with a book until he would be tired enough to go back to bed and try again.

***

‘Still up?’ Cillian asked as he walked into the kitchen and saw you filling up your hot water bottle again.

‘I can’t sleep’ you pouted while moving aside and allowing Cillian to fill up his glass.

‘Me neither’ Cillian then said before making a suggestion which could possibly change that.

‘Do you…uhm…want company…in bed?’ Cillian then shuddered somewhat reluctantly.

‘Cillian, I am not going to have sex with you, I told you that’ you said somewhat amused by the fact that he was still trying to convince you otherwise.

‘I didn’t mean for us to have sex Y/N’ Cillian then explained and your eyes widened immediately.

‘So, you mean just us sharing a bed to sleep?’ you asked confused, causing Cillian to nod.

‘Just to sleep and maybe kiss…if you want to’ Cillian said almost shyly.

‘Just kissing?’ you asked again, unsure about his motives.

‘Just kissing’ Cillian confirmed.

Tag List:

@lilymurphy03 @deefigs @theflamecrystal @desperate-and-broken @weepingstudentfishhorse @livinginfantaxy @rosey1981 @atomicsoulcollecto @peakyboyslover @nerdy4itall@elenavampire21 @hanster1998@mariapaiva13 @fairypitou @harry-is-my-sunflower @zozeebo @lauren-raines-x @kasaikawa @littlewierdalien @sad-huffle-nerd @theflamecrystal @peakymalfoyscullymulder @themissthang@0ghostwriter0 @stylescanbeatmyback @1-800-peakyblinders @datewithgianni @momoneymolife @ntmynouis @lilymurphy03 @mcntsee@cloudofdisney@missymurphy1985 @peakymalfoyscullymulder @otterly-fey @janelongxox @uchihacumdump @basiclassy @being-worthy @chaotic-bean-of-smolness @margoo0 @ @vhscillian @ysmmsy @littlewierdalien @crazymar15 @stickyknightflowerbailiff @im-constantly-fangirling @goldensunflowe-r @tellingyouastory @captivatedbycillianmurphy @namelesslosers @littlewhiterose @ttzamara @ttzamara @cilleveryone

@peaky-cillian

@severewobblerlightdragon @ysmmsy

#cillian murphy #Cillian Murphy x Reader #cillian murphy smut #cillian murphy imagine

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villainsandvictimsalliance · 3 years

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TYPE OF MUTUALS :

( shan's editions )

🦄 — These mutuals are a myth, I'd speak of them in awe and fear tagging them or messaging them because I'm very intimidated by how cool they are, they don't have to be popular for me to completely admire them.

🍄 — They like and reblog all my posts, I like all their posts and I wish I could like them even more, I want to hug them forever and shower them with gifts, I'd never feel shy to message them or tag them because I feel very safe about them.

🍪 — My irls that I want to sit with and talk while we eat cookies, it physically hurts not to be able to be near them sometimes, they know how I am in my daily basis which is exactly why they are not surprised by how awkward I can be

🏙️ — They're waking up when I'm heading to bed, we only know from each other from the reblogs, usually sending good night/day messages, I want them to be very happy, just amazing human beings that I wish I could talk more to.

🎪 — We're from the same circus your honor, we do each other clowns make-up, usually the ones I shitpost the most with, tones of memes shared, they make me laugh so much when I'm not supposed to be laughing, they got me smiling like that.

🩰 — Tiptoing around the other like weird neighbors, we live side by side while avoiding close contact because we don't know how to interact, we're not close but that's okay, I'd happily pet their cats or dogs or pets.

🦗 — We casually see each other on our dashboards, never speak, I think we're in very different fandoms but we like the same shitpost, I bet they're very happy to see my non mha / bnha posts, don't know I have a personal blog for reblogging everything I see, it's @decayeet everyone.

🎱 — They're unfollowing at any minute, they just need to realize I'm not that funny or interesting, it's okay that's who I am and I always tell people to feel free to break the mutual, unfollow or even block, whatever is best for their health and their online safety.

🪐 — We don't know we're mutuals, thinking "we should unfollow" and never doing it, we probably share one side fandom and that's it, but we love to see how the other lose their mind over their main fandom.

BONUS :

🛸 — Mutuals I'd talk about conspiracy theories with and shitpost at 3AM, they can message me with a photo of a Mammut with a dumb quote and I'd laugh and that's it, no drama.

🥣 — Mutuals I'd make soup to (if I know how to), I'd read their daily rants and recommend them songs and send them cute pictures to help, also I want to watch Studio Ghibli movies with them so bad.

#Shan's personal rants #Shan's types of mutuals #Shan's shitpost

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bewires · 3 years

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I was going through the first five pages of the joenicky tag on ao3, and i noticed a pattern in the fics of certain recognizable authors. I usually don't subscribed to ao3 profiles or tumblrs, only doing that with a select few and you're one of them!

Now, do you think is correct to say that the fandom seems a bit divided into top!Joe authors and bottom!Joe authors? And If yes, do you think you fall into that category?

Hi anon. Thanks for coming to check out my tumblr. I don't know if this is intentional or not, but that's a bit of a leading question. I'm going to try to answer but forgive me if it comes out a little salty.

I don't think the divide is necessarily between top and bottom. I think the divide is more strongly between 'assigning a fixed sexual position between two queer men' and 'finding it distasteful to assign that role and wanting to work against it'.

Why distasteful? Well, in the long history of fandom, almost every m/m pairing has had top/bottom discourse - i.e. which person is the 'top' and which the 'bottom'. And the main critique of that is, it's very much a roundabout way to assign heteronormative gender roles to queer men. The 'bottom' role is often characterized by being shy, submissive, sometimes inexperienced, while the 'top' role is given more allegedly masculine characteristics like being outgoing, dominant protective. If the fic involves darker themes, like non or dubcon, the top will be the aggressor. Now, I don't believe these are inherently masculine or feminine qualities. That's the kind of reduction you'd catch in a Prager U video. But I do believe that assigning these qualities in accordance with who tops and who bottoms really exacerbates already heinous gender roles and it happens by projecting them onto a queer couple, which makes it even more upsetting.

My reading of the text of the old guard is that neither character is shy or reticent or needs the other to protect them. They take care of each other; it's mutual. That's the kind of relationship you rarely see in fiction and that's what I love about it. They're equals. And that's why I don't like assigning these traits to either of them. The source material does an excellent job of not falling into these stereotypes and it's sad that as a fandom we do it anyway.

No discussion of this topic in TOG would be possible without also mentioning that beyond the sexism and homophobia inherent in insisting one character be shy and in need of protecting, there's also the question of racism to be considered.

Joe is a queer, north African man in the world's most established relationship. That is representation not seen often in fiction. What is seen often in fiction is perpetuating long-held stereotypes about north African men being hypermasculine and sexually threatening. This is a racist trope that goes back hundreds of years, and in addition to all the gender issues of assigning top/bottom roles in TOG, assigning Joe in a top role if you're using the above metrics, plays right into these stereotypes, especially when you're writing something dark wherein he is the aggressor, that again, the source material does a decent job of avoiding especially thanks to Marwan Kenzari's acting choices.

So, that's why assigning top and bottom roles is problematic and why specifically assigning Joe a solely top role is problematic. This is why I don't think I could say there is a 'top' side and a 'bottom' side. Because the issues aren't solved by turning it around and saying 'Joe is always the bottom'. This is also a misread of their characterization in my view, and it's also reductive of what it means to be queer. But tbh I haven't seen anyone championing that position, I have seen people championing the position of "wow there is a lot of top Joe content, let's write some more bottom Joe content to even it out because the fandom content is playing into some harmful stereotypes'. And that aim is then not to create the same problem but reversed, it's to treat the relationship with some nuance and show that the caretaking is mutual.

So this is where I'm at anon: I am not in the top or bottom side, I am of the opinion that assigning a fixed sexual position to a queer couple is a problematic and fetishistic (esp in context of the way fandom already fetishises queer identities) way to go about writing them and I don't want to do it, which is why I stopped tagging positions in my fic. And I am not saying I am perfect and never play into these tropes, I definitely have and I am open to criticism about it. But I am trying to do better and for me a part of that is understanding and acknowledging that yeah, it's just fanfiction, but what you read and write has an impact in yourself and your readers and I don't want my impact to be hurtful.

#long post #anon #ask #disk horse #fandom discourse #fandom racism

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cherrybracelets · 4 years

Text

Ghost Girl

intro // gg masterlist

spencer reid x bau!reader

word count: 2.5k // warnings: typical cm violence, nothing too graphic in this part!

summary: before your time in the bau, you worked on a very secretive and dangerous task force. you thought that life was in your past, almost four years later without a word of who you used to be. that was until today, when everything came back to haunt you.

an: this is just a small lil intro to this fic!! obvi this is regurgitating the emily story line i know they sound similar but once we get into details it will be different! lmk if you’d like to be tagged in future chapters!

There were days where you could forget. Days where the memories somehow faded to the back of your mind. You were able to pretend you were okay.

Today was not one of those days.

You were with the team in Seattle this week, working on a suspected serial killer couple. The case was one of the more open and shut ones; not many twists and turns, the duo made it quite easy to find them. Sometimes there were cases like that, played right by the book, making the jobs of you and your fellow profilers quite easy.

So as you stood in the conference room of the Seattle Field Office, taking down photos from the boards as the team prepared to leave, having no idea how the next 24 hours of your life would unfold.

“Hey, did you remember to call Casey and let her know we’re on our way home?” Spencer asked you, wrapping his arm around your waist and kissing your cheek. You could feel Derek rolling his eyes behind you, a habit you had gotten used to since Spencer was not shy with PDA.

“Um, yeah, she said she’d stay until we landed so she can make sure they all get dinner,” you responded, assuring Spencer that your plethora of pets were being well taken care of by your pet sitter.

Spencer smiled happily, taking his warmth away and heading out to the hall. You watched him leave, your boyfriend of two years now, the room feeling so much emptier without his presence.

You felt your cell vibrating in your back pocket, taking your mind away from already missing your boyfriend, even though he literally walked out of the room ten seconds ago. You pulled your phone out cautiously, hoping it wasn’t an emergency.

You didn’t recognize the number, but you instantly knew the area code. Boston.

You felt sick to your stomach as you continued to watch the call go unanswered. Who the hell would be calling you from Boston?

You finally answered after what seemed like hours, carefully closing the door to the conference room and locking it so you could be alone. Whoever was calling, it couldn’t be good news. And you couldn’t let anyone else hear.

“Who is this?” You whispered into the phone, your voice shaky and harsh.

“It’s me.”

The voice held the same nervous tone that yours did. You felt your heart stopped as you heard his voice, a sound you thought you would never hear for the rest of your life.

“Wade… what’s going on?”

“I’m sorry to have to call you about this, (Y/N). But you need to know.”

“What’s going on?”

“Zack Philips escaped from prison last night.”

There was silence, for what seemed like an eternity. Your brain flipped over the words, not sure how to handle the information that was just shared.

“How is that possible?” You finally managed to get out, shaking your head in disbelief.

“We believe he may have had someone helping him on the inside. Me and Alicia are trying to figure it out.”

“This can’t be happening. He was supposed to rot in there,” you gasped, your eyes swelling with tears as horrible memories of him came flooding back to your reality.

The sound of Hotch shaking the locked door handle, trying to enter the room you had barricaded yourself in. You quickly hung up the phone, trying your best to compose yourself as you unlocked the door and let your supervisor in.

Apparently you aren’t as good of a liar as you thought, because he could immediately sense the tension clung to the air. He closed the door behind him, assuming the sensitive nature of your worries.

Aaron Hotchner was one of two people that knew about your past before you came to the BAU. You were hoping that you would never have to tell another soul outside of the task force you worked with, but it seemed that Aaron would have to know if you were to work in his Unit.

“Wade Jefferies just called me,” you admitted, still shaking your head in denial.

“Is everything okay, (Y/N)?” You had a sense that he somehow already knew what you were going to say, a certain look in his eye as if he knew it was only a matter of time before your past came back to bite you all.

“He escaped prison.”

“How long ago?”

“Last night, sometime. I’m not sure when, exactly.”

The two of you shared a glance, a mutual look of ‘Oh, shit.’

“Do we need to involve the team?”

The team. You couldn’t even imagine them involved in this. It was your battle before you came here, and you promised yourself you would never let them get wrapped up in it. Especially Spencer. It was hard lying to him every day about who you were, where you had been… but you had no choice. And you still had no choice. There was no way you could involve them.

“I don’t think we need to do that yet, Hotch. We don’t even know where he is. There’s a chance he could just go into hiding.”

“You know Zack Philips better than anyone. Do you believe that’s what he will do?”

No. He would come look for you. There was no doubt in your mind.

“I’m not sure. But it’s not this team’s responsibility either way. Wade is getting together with the other members of the task force. I’m sure we’ll be able to track him down.” You avoided his eyes, knowing if he caught a glimpse at your face, you wouldn’t be able to lie for much longer. Hotch nodded cautiously at you, not entirely believing your story, but knowing better than to press the conversation any further.

Although Hotch knew details of the case, there were still many things he was in the dark about. If he knew just who this man was, there wasn’t a chance in hell he would let you handle things on your own. Part of you was glad there were parts of this you kept hidden, all to yourself. Only you knew what he was truly capable off, which was why it was extremely dire that you found him.

∗∗∗∗∗∗∗∗∗∗∗∗∗∗∗

Spencer knew there was something off with you. He had been dating you for two years, and you’d been living together for almost one. There was no way he wouldn’t notice a dramatic shift in your demeanor. It was even more suspicious watching Hotch glance over at you every few minutes on the plane, a look of concern pasted on his face.

Something was wrong, something that you were refusing to share with Spencer.

He tried to get you to talk, begging and pleading for you to share whatever was on your mind. But all you would give him is a slight smile, assuring him you just weren’t feeling well.

“The time change, it always makes me feel yucky,” you assured him as you walked into your house, letting him know you just needed a hot shower and a good night's sleep.

Spencer kissed you before you headed up the stairs, watching you closely as you ascended into your bedroom and walked anxiously into the bathroom. He heard the water turn on, and he felt a little better, trying to convince himself that there wasn’t some big secret you were hiding.

What Spencer didn’t hear was the quiet phone call you tried to make as the steam from the shower filled up your master bathroom. You dialed Wade’s number anxiously, tapping your foot on the tiled floor as the phone rang.

“Are you someplace private?” He asked, no time for kind greetings or small talk.

“Yeah, I’m alone. What have you found out?”

“According to a trusted source, Zack got on a plane this morning that’s headed for Washington.”

“He’s coming to us. Should be easier to find him,” you said, trying to convince yourself you all had a chance. You brought him down once before, it was possible you could do it again, right?

“I talked to the Director. He wants all of us back together, working non stop until we find him.”

“I can’t disappear, Wade. What am I supposed to tell the team?” You looked around nervously, hoping to god you were quiet enough so Spencer couldn’t hear.

“I actually think you should stay right where you are. Chances are he will stake us out, and if he sees you…” Wade trailed off, not wanting to say what he was afraid of, but you knew. If he saw you, if he knew the truth… none of you would make it out alive.

“Is there any indicator that he knows who I am? That I’m alive?”

“As far as we’re concerned, he believes that Lindsey Grimes died in prison.”

You flinched when he said her name, the person that you once were so long ago. You had laid her to rest when you joined the BAU, convinced there was no way she could come back to haunt you.

“(Y/N)... we won’t let him hurt you,” your former boss assured, his voice sounded confident enough to make you calm down a little bit.

“Call me if anything happens.”

“I will. I need you to take care of yourself, okay? Be cautious, but don’t be suspicious. I’ll talk to you soon.”

He ended the call, allowing you to set your phone down and shut your eyes. All of this had seemed like one continuous nightmare, your brain unable to believe any part of this was real. You had to trust Wade and your former team, though. They kept you safe all those years ago, you were sure they could do it again. They had too.

There was so much more at stake, now. You weren’t some 22 year old agent begging to make a name for yourself, all alone in the world and willing to take on any project that came your way. You had a family, somebody you loved. You couldn’t let Spencer get hurt, you would die before you’d let Zack near him.

A part of you wondered if you should tell him, let him in on that part of your life. Maybe he could help. Maybe they all could…

But if something happened to any of them, you would never forgive yourself. You had to protect them first.

∗∗∗∗∗∗∗∗∗∗∗∗∗∗∗

Two days had gone by without another word. Somehow, you were working a case that kept you in DC, which made you even more nervous. You were hoping that if you got out of the city, you and the whole team would be much safer. If Zack really was in DC, you were better off as far away as possible.

But you couldn’t control where the BAU was needed. And besides, two days without a word was good, right? If you were in danger, if something was wrong, they would tell you. At least that’s what you spent the last 48 hours trying to convince yourself.

You had almost pushed it out of your mind, able to do your job without distraction. That was until you received a text from Wade that made your heart stop.

‘We need to meet, now. I’ll text you coordinates. Be there in 10.’

You looked around at your team, carefully chipping away at your current case, no idea of the impending doom you faced. You looked around for Hotch, needing to at least explain to him why you needed to leave.

Once securing his approval, you snuck out of the office, texting Spencer that you were making an emergency coffee run and would be back soon. He responded with a quick, ‘Ok, love you!’ that made you feel nauseous as you drove away from the team and to the location Wade provided.

When you arrived at the small park, you found a bench not too far from your car and sat down, eagerly awaiting your fate. You looked around for Wade, unsure if you would even recognize him after four years.

After a few minutes of waiting, you started to feel uneasy. He was late. Wade was never late, especially to things he planned.

Something was wrong about this. You looked around nervously, not another soul in sight. You started to slowly stand up from the bench, hoping to make a quick path to your car and get out of here before anyone noticed.

But it was too late. You felt a strong hand grip your shoulder as you began to stand up, fingers digging into your flesh as they pushed you back down onto the bench.

“I wouldn’t do that, if I were you.”

You turned towards the hidden man, confirming your suspicions. You could tell it was him, just by his touch. It was rough, not an ounce of kindness seeped through him.

“Zack…” you whispered, refusing to look him in the face.

“Lindsey… oh, that’s not right, is it?” He chuckled, walking around the bench and taking a seat next to you.

“How did you find me, Zack? You’ve been out less than a week…”

“Oh, (Y/N),” he smiled, turning towards you and cupping a cold hand on your face. “I’ve been looking for you for a long time.”

“How long have you known?”

“Well, I’ll be honest, you had me fooled for quite some time. Most of the evidence could’ve come from anyone… but one day, my lawyer was going over something with me, and there it was. So small, I should’ve missed it. Hell, I probably had, a hundred times. But that day… that day I was thinking about you. Because that was the day they told me you’d died.”

He looked up at you, a hint of real pain shimmering in his evil eyes. It felt genuine, a part of you so badly wanting to believe there was still a piece of humanity in him. But you knew how capable he was of faking emotion, how he could break you down with just a small glance…

“My lawyer looked at me and said, ‘They know about Buffalo.’ And that’s when I knew. Because you, my sweet (Y/N)... you were the only person that knew about that.”

“What do you want, Zack?”

“Well, I’m feeling exceptionally generous today, so I’d like to give you some options.” He smiled devilishly at you, any semblance of humanity you thought he had drained in that moment.

“You can come with me. We can chat for a bit, you can own up to every lie you ever told from that beautiful place of yours. And then, I’ll kill you of course.” He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, making you flinch as he touched you. “If that doesn’t sound good, I can kill every single member of your little team one by one until you give in. And I’ll start with that pretty little boy of yours… what’s his name, Spencer?”

“Give me one reason I shouldn’t kill you right now,” you snapped, the thought of him anywhere near Spencer making you shake.

“Do you think I don’t have people on my side, (Y/N)? If you hurt me, there are fifty men ready to finish this job.”

You wanted so desperately to not believe him, to think you could end this all with one bullet in his head. But you knew the power he had over people, the influx of his followers willing to give their life to him. He was right. If you touched him, you’d be facing an army of unknowns trying to harm all of you.

There was no choice. You had to protect your team. You had to protect Spencer.

“I’ll go with you. Just promise you won’t hurt them.”

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #Criminal Minds #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic

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oonajaeadira · 3 years

Text

TAGGED BY @grogusmum !

1. Why did you choose your url? I originally started writing my fic with an OFC and that was her name. But eff it. Reader insert is more fun.

2. Any side blogs? Nope. Just side hogs. (I don’t know what that means.)

3. How long have you been on Tumblr? Oh, I was on many years ago. Under this handle? About 4-ish months.

4. Do you have a queue tag? Your ex is a queue tag. (Again. What.)

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place? So I could read/write Mando fanfic and ogle at all the pretty art. And lookit I found all you nice folks.

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp? The biggest reason I came around here was to start Losing My Religion. (Not literally, I already did that years ago. It’s the name of my SoftDinFic.) I adopted the cast-off character name for my URL and that was her lightsaber--gold with a teal blade. In the end, I changed her to a reader character and left the lightsaber details out so the reader could choose their own.

7. Why did you choose your header? Besides Din, my greatest Mandalorian love is the Razor Crest. Bringing it back was the only non-canon concession I wanted to make in the fic. Technically, it’s another Crest. But it’s easier to write in an environment that everyone already knows. And I’m still not ready to let it go....

8. What’s your post with the most notes? Looks like it’s my masterlist! Yay!

9. How many mutuals do you have? About 20?

10. How many followers do you have? 265

11. How many people do you follow? 70

12. Have you ever made a shitpost? I don’t think so. Unless I did so unwittingly??? I’m sorry?

13. How often do you use Tumblr each day? SO MUCH. OOPS.

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Not yet. Now taking applications for a grand nemisis.

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts? If it’s a gif/header/visual artist asking me to reblog in order to use or save their art? ABSOLUTELY. I am getting better at reblogging fic and leaving notes after being a lurker for so long. (Honestly, I just didn’t want to be creepy, but I understand how it works now.) Sure, I LOVE it when my writing gets reblogged, but I would never ever require it. Although, everyone’s got a right to do what they want on their own page.

16. Do you like tag games? Yes, although I get shy about tagging others. I know they don’t have to play, but I don’t want to be a nuisance. SORRY, MUTUALS.

17. Do you like ask games? Yes! I love to find out more about folks and it’s nice to have pre-made questions! IT MAKES ME LOOK LESS OF A CREEPER.

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous? They all are, in their own way. I think we’re all in a lot of galactic spheres here and in every orbit there are stars. Not just saying that to be nice. I think we’ve all followed someone who admired us (whether we knew it or not) and I hope we’ve all had the swooning pleasure of being followed by someone we adore.

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual? Artist crushes, 100% yes. I am a little flustered by a few of them. Especially my fanart/visual art mutuals. I wish I could draw and I worship what they do. <3

20. absolutely no pressure tags: (adira’s note: but really curious, esp about #1!)

@honestly-shite @cannedsoupsucks @feralhotmess @archaeoheart @unbound-space-trash @shanediomorrissey and @thepoisonofgod

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floralcalaveraa · 3 years

Text

rules and admin pages has been updated :-)

I have recreated my ‘about blog’ tab (which contained my portrayal, rules, and admin page) into carrd. I think it is both desktop and mobile friendly and that convenience attracted me to give it a try! Other than rewriting and adding some things, they are all ready to be read :-) I’ll put the link to the carrd here so that you don’t have to go to my page for it: https://floralcalavera.carrd.co/

Below I’ll add the points that have been dramatically rewritten and newly added so that you don’t have to read any monstrous wall of text and save you the time- They will be ordered by sections: guidelines and admin. I really made no edits to my ‘portrayal’ section.

guidelines

This blog is selective (but with a twist to that selectivity). I’ll only follow back roleplay accounts that show enthusiasm for wanting to roleplay with me. I've learned that following without any initiative to interact leads to silence from both ends. I don't want to follow a blog that won't do much to engage with me. I do not care about proficiency in writing level, fancy aesthetics, or the number of followers. Anyone is free to follow and interact, but continuous engagement such as liking my posts or reaching out in dm's would lead to follows for non-mutuals.

If it's impossible to conjure a thread because of how distant our muses fandoms are, you can interact with my other blogs.

Roleplaying and Messaging. All that I ask is the same dedication to a reply. I don’t judge proficiency of language nor lengths of responses. Neither am I selective with the topics and concepts included. I allow many themes in our interactions. Don't hold back your ideas no matter how non-sensical you think they would be. All that I'll ask is that you give me a heads up so that I can go with your agenda. Any NSFW subject will be tagged the best I could for you to blacklist (tw: word).

I don't support call-outs. Fiction is fiction, not a reflection of reality. More often than not, it's about the content someone writes or it's a dispute that could've been settled between the people involved. Do not ask me to reblog/engage with a call-out post. If this opinion offends you, then I'm just not your guy.

admin

Pronouns: He/Him

Age: drop-out College Student, Young Adult

Languages: English, Spanish, French (Learning), can interpret Italian oddly proficiently simply because Spanish gives me leverage

Traits: Shy and friendly, formal but can be random and enthusiastic

Hi I'm Ulises! I'm fond of rare pairs than popular ships and I love making headcanons over any little detail. Asides from roleplaying, I draw; feel free to share with me your artworks if you draw as well :-)

I know myself for being very slow in my responses, this does not mean that I am bored; I value all of my threads. I'm just likely to be drawing as I have rekindled with it.

I'm never opposed to making friends, but a head's up that I respond at irregular, long intervals. My friends have learned that adding me on Discord does not make the writing process any quicker :')

(At the very bottom of this admin section in Carrd, are buttons that lead to my other blogs.)

Thank you for opening this stupid thing and reading it if you did :’)

#updates #‘ NOT HIGH BUT I'M YOUR HIGHNESS ( OOC )#finally doing and finishing something for the first time in a while this year? Yes :-)#now i can cross out things in my to do list :'D

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allandoflimbo · 4 years

Text

Take It Back (Chapter 19)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary: About five years ago, a one night stand with Y/N tore Bucky’s life apart. It was also the night before his wedding. Now he’s married to her sister and she needs a place to stay.

Chapter Warnings: Language.

A/N: Over my manic episode lol, now back to work. :) Here you guys go. Sorry it took so long to get my shit together. I love you. ALSO, i know a lot of you guys caught up with it on AO3, so just let me know if you no longer wanna be tagged in this. :)

MASTERPAGE |

It had become routinary.

Like an immortal soul or a person without any malice and without non-malice intent, you’d carry on and on.

You’d wake up at five-thirty am, take a hot shower, go for a run, take another shower, get dressed for work, stop by your choice of restaurant that week, pick up cat food, feed Pebbles, clean the house, take another shower, put on your PJs, and binge-watch American Horror Story until it was too late to decide if it was actually too late to go to bed.

It took exactly one week into your emotional break down for you to realize that your life had to be this way in order for you to succeed. It was the only way you could keep yourself distracted from the other thoughts of guilt that would lead to ultimate heartbreak.

You had left Ashlyn’s life in a way that you didn’t see yourself doing.

At first, you felt wrong for it.

She was your only sister and the only closest family member you had left. You especially thought it was wrong for leaving without any explanation. But eventually, after much-considered thought, you decided that even though it was wrong, it was the best choice. It was something you had to do.

You had to do it because it would be wrong of you to hang out with her or have some kind of association with her without her knowing the evil thing that you had done behind her back.

It didn’t sit well with you.

You also realized that if you stuck around, you would probably develop some kind of hate for her that would be beyond your control; hate made out of jealousy and envy.

You wouldn’t be able to see them together ever again, you would not bring yourself to.

You had texted her a few days after your decision, explaining to her that new opportunities had arisen in your life and that you might be seeing less of her because of it.

Though you still reassured her that you would continue to stick around if she needed anything and she reciprocated vice versa.

As much as you disliked her, as much as you didn’t like the choices she’s made, or person that she had become, at the end of the day she was always your big sister. That was a kind of bond you couldn’t break.

After she’d wished you good look and good wishes, you wondered if you should contact Bucky.

You wondered if he would tell her.

That was the first time the thought entered your mind and it scared the shit out of you. You prayed that he wouldn’t say a thing.

You thought about Steve as well. You knew he wasn’t dumb but you were thankful that he never mentioned anything both that night. But for some reason, you couldn’t get that damn look he had on his face. You couldn’t forget the way he looked at you at the wedding.

He had chased you, and he looked hurt by you.

Like he knew.

Sometimes you wonder if maybe if it had been Bucky that had run after you if you would have stayed.

But it wasn’t.

After that conclusion, you begged yourself to move on.

That was when the routines began- it kept you busy and distracted.

It had been five months and two days since you walked out of his life.

After much time, it was going a lot better than how you thought it would. You started by distracting yourself with your own life.

You even picked up extra hours at work and spent endless nights learning new recipes.

You wouldn’t admit it out loud, but you ended up watching way too much of the news. Maybe it was the adult in your trying to peak out, or maybe you were just that desperate to get away from your own issues.

You and pebbles sat on your couch as you both mocked Trump’s face on CNN, softly caressing Pebble’s little black head.

Your sat on your legs, your little throw blanket thrown over your lap and Pebbles next to your feet on the couch.

You shook your head in dismay as yet another scandal unfolded itself.

“What a dumbass, Peb.”

Meow.

You gasp.

“What do you mean you would have voted for him?”

Meow. Prrrr.

You huff.

“That’s what I thought, you little nugget.”

Everything during the day got easier as time went by, including life.

Slowly, you had cut yourself out of everyone’s lives.

You didn’t want to, but you felt like it was the best choice in such a predicament.

You didn’t answer Steve’s calls.

Bucky never even attempted to reach out to you except for one night about a week ago.

You had stared at your phone in a trance, completely puzzled at first, before tossing it on your couch.

You went back to sliding on your sneakers for your daily run.

No.

You ran your emotions away until the sweat mingled in with your tears.

You didn’t even realize it started pouring until you had to stop on the side of the road, breathing hard as you attempted to catch your breath.

You let your head fall down as your hands rested on the knees of your bent legs. You sobbed relentlessly as the thunder clashed in the skies above you.

The overwhelming guilt consumed you.

You had done good, you did everything you could to distract yourself and to not think about him.

But during the nights it was the hardest.

Simply put: you were lonely.

You missed your friends, Steve, and Nat. You wanted to make peace with Steve, you wanted to tell Nat how sorry you were for being a coward, and most importantly, you missed him.

You’d wake up the next day and repeat it all again.

It was the only thing that helped.

The beginning months of their marriage had been rocky.

It had gone in any way you would’ve expected for a man who had just cheated on his wife.

Their wedding night had been a disaster.

When they returned to their room that night, in a mix of tight hand-holding and severe lack of eye contact, Bucky had allowed Ashlyn to go into their suite before him.

While inside, he sat on the bed, back faced to her, and he had been silent as he unbuttoned his dress shirt.

Ashlyn had stared at him, even though he couldn’t see her.

The silence had been unbearable.

She felt pain-filled tears in her eyes at his cold demeanor.

He was treating her not how a husband should, especially on their wedding night.

He was treating her like something was very wrong.

She didn’t understand why.

Their ceremony had been everything she had ever dreamed of, but during the reception, he had barely stared into her eyes. He didn’t look at her during their dance, and only once or twice after that.

They made brief eye contact once when his eyes had been cold and soulless. In an instance, a part of her heart hurt badly within her chest.

What’s wrong? She had wanted to say.

She wasn’t too oblivious. She knew that months ago something had happened with him and someone else, especially after she had been gone for so long on her work trips. She knew that they had gone through a big bump in the road.

And the guilt of that had eaten her alive and she promised to put it behind her, so she continued to strive for them - to make this work. Ashlyn wasn’t sure exactly what Bucky had done, but like a silent mutual agreement, neither touched the subject any further.

For some time, she had even believed maybe she was wrong because they started doing so well again.

But their wedding day and their wedding night went anything but well.

She had gone into their bathroom and slowly taken off her jewelry and dress. Soft tears ran down her face as she took the hundreds of bobby pins out of her hair, laying them down on the sink with shaky fingers.

She had refused to look at herself in the mirror, knowing that she’d start crying right away.

She slid on a pair of matching pink silk PJ shorts and a tank top.

Neither said a word as she slid up next to him on the bed.

It didn’t surprise her that he didn’t even make love to her that night.

It took time, but eventually, he had gathered her in his arms, caressing the sides of her waist as she breathed against him.

Her lingerie was tucked away and left untouched in her suitcase.

They didn’t talk about it, and Ashlyn swallowed back heavy tears as he laid motionless without saying a word.

It took them hours to fall asleep that night.

Early that morning they took their flight out to Mykonos.

He held her hand the entire flight, occasionally giving her a small smile that never reached his pretty blue eyes.

A pair of eyes that ones use to shy but were now a pit of no emotions.

Ashlyn tried to hold back more tears as he laid his head against the window, staring down at the puffy clouds and not at her.

She regretted it- the nightly escapades -what she had done with men on her work trips, what she had sacrificed to give them.

Their future was now filled with materialist fortune because of her filthy mistakes, and she most importantly regretted what she had done with his father.

She wanted them to be okay.

She wanted him to love her the way he used to.

She sniffed slightly as her throat grew tight. She laid her head on his shoulder.

The heavyweight of her head made Bucky look down at his lap, closing his eyes tightly together.

He felt awful.

Sure, he didn’t want Ashlyn anymore, but something just didn’t sit well with him knowing what he did and Ashlyn knowing damn well that he was acting strange.

On their honeymoon, when they did talk they argued.

They had gone to a little restaurant in a bay area but barely spoke a word to each other.

The air was tense and his kisses only lingered like a tangent poison on her lips.

Every night he had woken up shaking and sweating. He always dreamed of you and your gorgeous smile.

He could hear you saying his name in his dreams, and he could feel the bones of your hips on his hands as he guided you to move above him.

Then, he would hear you tell him you loved him and he would start crying in his sleep.

They were never loud enough to wake Ashlyn up, but it was strong enough to make him stir and awaken.

They didn’t make love until the night before they flew out.

It had been spontaneous and Bucky had done it more out of anger and stress after he had seen something in a gift shop that reminded him of you.

He had whimpered against Ashlyn's mouth as he held her against the wall of their little bedroom. It was a small room, about thirty by forty feet because they had wanted the trip to be as authentic as possible.

His hands helped to wrap her legs around his waist and he grabbed her harshly, forcing his tongue down her throat.

He shoved her beneath him onto their bed as they ripped each other’s clothes off.

Next, he had taken her brutally against the mattress.

Afterward, Ashlyn had been stunned.

He had never fucked her that way before. It had been purely carnal, dirty.

She laid shaking that entire night.

He woke up again that dawn, having dreamed of you again.

He knew he needed help, he knew that the guilt was eating him alive and so was the sadness of losing you.

Four five months, their marriage has been silently suffering and grew complicated. The other wondered how long it would be before one of them said something to make or break it.

They moved into Bucky’s father’s penthouse shortly after.

It was beautiful. It wasn’t as big as Ashlyn would have expected, and Bucky also had sworn it used to be bigger when he used to live with his parents. It had an average size foyer that would lead into the living room. The wood flooring was light and contrasted beautifully with the white walls. To the right was a large window that occupied most of the wall, and to the far side was a decent sized kitchen with dark brown cabinetry. Down the hall was a guest bedroom and a powder room.

On the left side was a dining room and then to the corner glass stairs that led up to the upstairs area where there were three other bedrooms, one full bathroom and a master bathroom that connected to the master bedroom.

The mere thought that Bucky was now sleeping in the same bedroom that his now-dead parents used, made something creep up his spine - a cold and chilling feeling.

It didn’t help their marriage and it certain didn’t help with the other emotions he had felt.

They would eat dinner in silence and then they would have silent meaningless sex on their dinner table in a tangle of confusion and unspoken declarations.

It got to the point where Ashlyn had left for work every morning without even waiting for him anymore.

She would feel used and empty, the bruises on her hips nagging and mocking her for the rest of the day.

Ashlyn considered just asking Bucky what was going on.

She wanted to, but she was afraid.

It had been going on for five months.

It’s a Tuesday morning when Bucky was having breakfast by himself in the kitchen. He hears a knock on his door.

He looked up from his phone, where he had been reading today’s news.

He perks a brow, not expecting anyone to have been at his home at this time. He hadn’t even seen Steve since his wedding day, their little awkward encounter not yet having been addressed.

It was evident neither wanted to.

“Come in.” He said loudly through a mouth full of honey nut cheerios.

The big white door swung open.

Bucky was slightly scared at who the intruder was until he saw a big head of red pop out from behind the door.

A long sigh escapes his lips.

The beauty spins her head around and gives him a bright smile, closing the door behind her.

She perks a brow.

“You didn’t comb your hair today, I see.”

Bucky runs a quick hand through his hair as he swallows down the cereal.

“What gives? My house, I can do I want.” He mumbles swirling his spoon in his milk.

He peaks a teasing eye up at Nat and smirks.

“Yeah, I can see that.” She laughs.

“What’s up?”

“How are things with you and Ashlyn?”

Bucky stalls for a moment, swirling his milk one more time, before responding.

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing, I’ve just noticed that you’ve been a bit different the last few months,” Nat states simply.

Bucky sighs, looking out towards the kitchen window and out into the city.

He gives into himself and sighs.

“It’s been better, Nat. Marriage isn’t as easy as we’d hope I guess.” He mumbles the end as he takes the bowl off the island and turns around to put it in the sink.

Nat sighs, “Yeah, I can imagine. Why do you think I haven’t gotten married yet?”

Bucky chuckles, “You’re right. You’re smart.”

There’s a small smile on his face when he says it as he spins back around, but Nat senses the pleading tone in his voice and both of them are quiet.

Nat eyes him up and down before she reaches into her bag.

Bucky narrows his eyes at her.

“Just know that if there’s anything you need, you can just ask me. If you need a friend, advice, anything. If you guys need any help-”

“Thanks, but we’re fine.” He cuts off curtly but not in a rude manner.

Nat ignores him and pulls out a white card and slides it across the table.

“Please don’t take this as an insult or me trying to pry or anything like that, because it’s none of my business. But I think this might help you both.”

Bucky takes the card.

Couple’s Therapist

Bruce Banner

34 6th Street

New York, NY

(212)***-****

Bucky looks at it for a second.

He contemplates it, really contemplates it, and he finds the gesture comforting and surprisingly sweet.

He bends the edge of it as he reads the name of the doctor repeatedly- over and over again.

“Thanks.”

Bucky could care less any longer about salvaging his wedding with Ashlyn. He should’ve known it was all an evil scheme for her since the beginning, so he was doing this for his own selfish needs.

Bucky wants nothing more than to rip his hand out of hers as they sit next to each other on the dark brown leather chairs. He hopes the good doctor doesn’t see right through his phony act.

Dr. Banner was soft-spoken and wore small glasses on the peak of his nose. He gave off a sweet soul that automatically piqued Bucky’s interest. From his first firm handshake, he knew that Banner would be someone he could trust.

Bruce gave the beautiful couple a small smile before sitting down directly in front of him.

The room smelled of aloe and mint, calming Ashlyn for the first time in a long time.

“Mr. And Mrs. Barnes please sit.”

“Thanks.” Both Bucky and Ashlyn said.

Bruce takes off his glasses and eyes the couple curiously.

“So let’s start by introducing ourselves. You just got married five months ago?”

“Yes. Sir.”

He lays his glasses down on the table in front of him.

“That’s very recent. I’m surprised.”

Ashlyn gives Bucky a side glance as Bucky continues to hold steady eye contact with Banner.

“Yes, we’ve had some issues in the past.”

Bucky’s jaw ticks.

Bruce notes this.

“Well, we’re going to discuss possible issues that maybe could’ve arisen and insecurities between the both of you. This will be a long process, but I will do in my best ability to help you both. We’re going to put all our walls down for this, do you understand? No secrets from me.”

Bucky swallows while Ashlyn nods. She looks once more at him and Bucky is still facing forward, jaw tight and tense.

“You see? He can’t even look at me.”

Bucky rolls his eyes.

“Do you not love me anymore?”

Bucky doesn’t respond.

“Do you want a divorce? We’ve been married for five months. You didn’t even have sex with me on our wedding night.”

Banner raises a comical brow at this.

“I can’t leave you.”

Bucky says fiercely. The silence that follows it is tense and questioning.

“So we need to make this work,” Ashlyn says, quickly letting go of his hand.

Their first session with Banner was an hour and five minutes long. It was the most the couple had talked to each other since their wedding day, and it solved absolutely nothing.

Dr. Banner sighed as he watched them walk away, not really knowing what the hell he was going to do with them.

He was just thankful that they were done screaming so he could take his small coffee break and read a bit.

Of course, that was cut short when he heard a small knock coming from his door.

“Yes?”

Bucky walks in slowly, a mischievous look in his eyes as he slowly closing the door behind him.

Banner raises a surprised brow at him.

“James? Something wrong?”

Bucky licks his lips nervously.

“N-no sir, I just…”

Well, this was interesting, Banner had to admit. He sits down on his desk, still keeping one foot on the floor.

He notices how upset and nervous Bucky is and it’s the first sign of emotion he had shown aside from anger all day. It intrigues the doctor.

“You can tell me.”

“If I ask to see you privately, as my therapist, would what me and you talk about be confidential?”

Bruce is silent for a second as he connects the dots. He notes Bucky’s fidgeting hands and his pleading eyes.

Something was killing the poor kid.

“Is there something you don’t want Ashlyn to know?”

“Yes.” It comes out in a whimper. His tone, begging.

“James, if whatever this has to do with your marriage, you should tell your wife. You're here to fix your relationship with her, but yet you want my help to help keep something hidden from her.”

Bucky is silent as he looks away, defeated. This stuns the doctor.

“You’re not here for your marriage.” Bruce says it like it’s not questionable, “you’re here for you.”

Bucky’s stance and tone become pleading as he steps closer to Banner.

“It has more to do with my health though. Look, I know it doesn’t make sense but I need help, please. I’ll pay you twice or ever three times as much. As much as you want. Please, doctor Banner.”

Bruce didn’t like this, but for some reason, he figured that maybe if he helped Bucky with his private issue, it could eventually fix the problem he had with his wife.

Maybe.

He regrets it a bit after he says it, but he does.

“Alright, I’ll help you.”

You had another episode last night and it was worse than usual.

You swore you could feel his soft hands on your hips as you moved on top of him.

You felt the whispers of his voice against your ears as he kept telling you he loved you, and it felt so real.

You were a ghost when you woke up, and your body robotic. The sun wasn’t up yet so you turned on your side lamp on your nightstand since it wasn’t too bright and wouldn’t hurt your eyes.

It took you a bit for you to come to your senses and for you to notice that you had gathered your personal belongings on your bed and that you were throwing things out.

Things that reminded you of Ashlyn. Pictures of when you were kids, T-shirts, gifts she had given you - everything.

Tears ran down your face as you skim your finger over one specific picture of you and your sister with your parents.

You sobbed and your sadness became anger as you continued to stare at her in the picture.

How dare she get the loving man, how dare he love her more than you…you were angry.

And you wanted to move on.

In a fury, you rip the pictures into tiny pieces until they’re scattered all over your bed.

Your breathing is shallow and heavy as you look at the mess you’ve made.

With a different kind of pain that you hadn’t felt in a long time, you bury your face in your hands and cry silently.

Everything around you was silent. The house was silent and so was the world outside.

You were alone.

Fifteen miles away sat Steve in his work office at Barnes Enterprises.

He had just put his two-week notice in and he couldn’t stop thinking about you.

He couldn’t stand to work for Bucky right now, not after the wedding night and not knowing anything about what was happening.

It distracted him too much and it made him upset.

He’d gotten a new job at a new company five blocks down. Steve had requested two weeks from his top guy so he didn’t even have to talk to Bucky directly to let him know he was leaving.

He was almost entirely packed except for some things that he still had to finish before he left.

It was early morning and he was finishing up one of his files when the image of you clouded his mind.

The image of you running out of his best friend’s wedding and crying haunted him.

He needed to find you.

That’s when he had stopped doing what he was doing and he pulled out his phone.

He found your name without thinking and clicked the little phone icon under your name.

Steve lets out a heavy breath as he brings his phone to his ear. With his other hand, he runs it through his hair and pulls slightly at the top.

ring.

Come on. Come on. He says in his head as he bounces his left leg up and down. What was he even going to say?

The ring cuts off and he sucks in a breath-

“I’m sorry but the number you are trying to reach is no longer in service.”

His heart falls into the pit of his stomach.

In your room, you had somehow fallen asleep through all your crying, and your phone laid silent and untouched on your nightstand.

Chapter 20 |

@wxntersoldxer16 @void-imaginations @heykarsyn @avashroom @sarcastic-and-cool @lunaticbarnes @benhardygalileo @wildmavs @runaway-escape @stevieboyharrington @kimvmarvel

#Bucky x Reader #Bucky Barnes Fanfiction #Bucky Barnes x You #Bucky barnes x reader #Marvel fanfiction #Captain America Fanfiction #Bucky Barnes drabbles #Bucky Barnes Imagines #Bucky Barnes x You Fanficion #Bucky barnes fanfic #MCU fanfiction #Bucky x you #Bucky x y/n #Bucky Barnes smut #Bucky Barnes Angst

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rpbetter · 3 years

Note

You make some really good posts!! Can I ask something about DNIs? I know it's not directly RP-related, but I have trouble as an RPer with how many DNIs, with urls, there are now. I try not to interact with muns who have them, I block them, because it feels manipulative? But I'm also tempted to block people who follow those muns, because they probably think their DNIs are okay to have, so they're still "bad", just not as bad? Do you think that's overkill, am I shooting myself in the foot?

Oh, thank you! I'm very happy you've enjoyed them!

And, of course, ask anything at all!

I think, ultimately, the answer to whether that's overkill is entirely dependent on what your experience is and if you're happy with it. I don't think it is overkill at all, but if you feel like it is costing you too many mutuals, it might be overkill for you.

I'm a pretty insular RPer, I like a handful of close writing partners that I write a lot of threads with, so, having something like, under ten writing partners is great for me while it's miserable for other muns. I can go wild on blocking and not have it negatively impact my enjoyment, but I know that's not the case for everyone!

And I do, actually, I do go pretty wild with the blocking when it comes to things like DNIs. If it comes off as policing to me, not just something like a difference of opinion or a strong opinion on something, I'm going to block. Otherwise, it's just recognizing that this isn't a mun I'm going to work out with, but no hard feelings. With policing though...I don't want that anywhere near me or my mutuals, so, it's going to be a block.

Because they do tend to be in these odd, like, nested situations lol I totally will spend the effort if their DNI is bad enough to look at the muns they interact with and make sure I don't have future contact with them either. The RPC is such a big place, making it easier to forget URLs than to remember them, but it's also a place where we establish circles of contact, making it easier to run into the same group repeatedly. I feel like it's better for my peace of mind to be a little more certain than not at all that this isn't going to happen as easily.

If that DNI etc. has been so awful, I definitely don't require their mutuals professing the same beliefs as loudly as they are. If you interact with someone, maybe you don't know their pet fish's name or the obscure lore in a headcanon they posted five years ago or the rule they updated without telling anyone, but you do know what is on their pinned post or blog description or rules. At some point, we all visit each other's blogs in dash-view if nothing else when we're getting replies or checking for memes they might have posted, going through their tags, whatever. I do not believe that you're mutuals who reblog from each other often, reply frequently to each other, ship each other's muses and so forth, and all this time, you've somehow failed to notice your bestie mun is telling proshippers to die in their DNI lmao

No, you've seen it. And I find it extremely hard to believe, too, that it's never come up in conversation OOC either.

So, this hypothetical mutual is so oblivious to others, completely agrees with the other one's views while not feeling confident enough to share them publicly, or is scared enough of the other one that they won't disagree...and no matter which/which combination that might be, they're not a mutual I want.

Especially when it comes to a DNI with someone's URL in it. Hard pass on anyone who is okay with that!

If I visited a writing partner's blog, let's say this person is also my closest friend, I value them and the threads I have with them so much, and I saw that in their DNI they had dropped someone's URL? We would have to talk. I'd have to bring it up because it's the right thing to do (and would also be highly out of character for any of my friends, thus very concerning). There would have to be a question posed about what happened here, why did you feel like this was a good choice, and do you think it's increasing or lessening the problem to have that there?

Honestly, sometimes people do get so upset about something that has happened that their worst impulses are let loose freely. When you ask someone you have an established relationship with about that, unless you're being really hateful about it right off, it can help them settle down, take a step back, and see that this is maybe not the right action to take. To me, silence says you're okay with it.

When muns started putting more elaborate DNI's in, that alone rubbed me the wrong way because I genuinely do not think that the majority of that information is at all necessary. It's something I can see and fully understand minors doing, not because they're terrible or anything but because the impulses and rationale are just different. You're very much geared to be as loud as possible about things that are important to you, making them a part of you in a huge way, as a teenager. Shit just is unreasonably intense! But as an adult, I expect that behavior to be different. You don't actually need to say on your RP blog's DNI that "transphobes WILL be blocked!!!"

Well, yes, I should hope so lol we're a community filled with muns who are trans, I'd certainly hope you were not cool with that kind of thing. It's one of those assumptive states, it goes without saying because, in a group of legitimate adults, it literally doesn't have to be said that a trans mun in a group of trans muns in a RPC filled with trans muns would be intolerant of transphobic assholes.

And, no one likes a damn transphobe, it's not like this stunning, fresh information, here. Not making such a statement does not, in fact, act as a welcome.

Saying that, and I do not mean literally just that, it's just an example of the type of things found in a common DNI, is a little immature for me. Some of those things are, in addition to being purely self-validating: playing into the fear created by policing, virtue signaling, policing, or baiting. And all of them are pointless. Telling someone who would already be bigoted toward you and others to not interact if they somehow miraculously ID as whatever label that takes for them to not interact with your posts is waving a metaphoric red flag in front of a bull. Kind of like tagging a post as either "antis don't interact" or "proshippers don't interact." Actual quickest and most assured way to get that interaction!

I totally understand the age thing, it's self-protecting. Most people do respect it, but when they don't, you've clearly stated that this is not for whatever age group. Things pertaining to your writing and/or muse I also understand and think are great for a quick glance before someone even gets to the rules. Having in a DNI something like "muns who are easily triggered by gore" when you write a horror muse, for instance. You're advising them that this isn't a great idea for them, and it shouldn't be expected that you change your muse and topics because they decided to follow anyway.

But it became excessive very quickly, and there is the expectation that blogs have a DNI. The further expectation is that there be a specific list of things found in that DNI, if yours does not include it, you obviously don't have a problem with those things. I really cannot be okay with that, you know?

However, when it wasn't being used as a callout or a way to police, that was something that could just be ignored. Once URLs of other RPers started to appear, it was a whole other problem.

It used to be the pervading rule of the RPC that it is not alright to force other muns to chose between you and another mun that you had an issue with, but now we have DNIs with other muns' URLs in them. Now, it's the opposite take - if you have an issue with a URL being dropped in a DNI, or if you continue to interact with the mun, you're likely to get a callout or be on the receiving end of other bullying.

So, I very much think the self-insulating thing to do is to avoid those mutuals as well as the RPer with the URL-laden DNI. They could just block you, but is someone who was so juvenile as to put another mun's URL in their damn DNI going to be mature enough to do that? Will their friends once they complain about you? For me, it's too high of a risk of being around muns I wish would take a very long break from RP and only come back once they've grown up some.

I would never advise anyone to do something that is erring on the side of getting them into harassment water unnecessarily (as in, not something that pertains to digging in your heels and writing what you want or not tolerating bullying where you see it happening), and I feel like not doing what you are is that. However, I also am a firm believer in agency, even to make mistakes.

So, if you genuinely feel like blocking mutuals of someone with a URL-dropped/callout/other highly offensive and bullying thing in their DNI is costing you so many chances to RP that you're no longer enjoying yourself here? You might want to consider adjusting how widely you are blocking.

If that's the case, try going for mutuals who are what I call Casual Mutuals and leaving them open. Those are mutuals that the mun doesn't write with often or at all, they're technically mutuals because they both follow each other, but that's it. There might be some liking of posts or even comments or non-committal, OOC style memes sent in by Casual Mutuals, but that interaction is sparse and, yep, casual. These mutuals might legitimately be unaware of the mun's hateful, bullying bullshit in the DNI, or they are actually afraid to unfollow/block them at this point, so their option feels like staying around as quietly as possible.

With that last deal...you could even be doing someone a favor, Anon. When I've encountered that situation before, it's come about because the other person's Casual Mutual is painfully anxious, shy, and a previous victim of bullying. They feel isolated, they don't have many or any writing partners, and they really, truly, are terrified to distance themselves in a way that might be noticed. It's a type of toxic interaction that rarely gets mentioned in PSAs, presumably because it is so low on the actual interaction scale.

Giving them someone else in their corner, especially if that other mun is more open about their intolerant stance on bullying, can go a long way toward giving someone else confidence. I've had other people's Casual Mutuals become my Casual Mutuals and wouldn't you know it? After a while, they get braver. They see my friends and mutuals doing our thing without any of the bullying going on, they see us supporting anti-policing and not tolerating bullying, and they get brave enough to unfollow the hateful mun. It feels nice to even inadvertently help someone, and over the years, some of those Casual Mutuals have become great writing partners, too. People I would have missed if I had made the choice to block them by the association of a hateful mun they were trapped in the orbit of.

Just try to exercise caution! You seem like a reasonable person who doesn't mind truly thinking on things or doing the work required to be cautious. Assume the close mutuals are a problem, too, and block away. Build a wall with some razor wire on it with those blocks! Don't assume the low-interaction, very casual mutuals are, though. Check out their blogs for signs of agreement with Hateful Mun, and if they don't have any, give them a shot as far as just leaving them unblocked goes.

I also have to say, here at the end, that it's extremely nice to see that people out there are doing this. Honestly would have thought I'd be the last person to encourage a ton of blocking, but that's the environment of the RPC now, and it's really the only way we can deal with this issue. You can't reason with these people, you can't stop them, you can only stay away from them for your own good and send a message that this isn't benefiting them. Not everyone agrees with them, they're not going to keep having people left open for their attacks or their RP entertainment. And if enough people are just walling them off, that is a message they'll have to receive because RP runs on interaction with others.

They might think they want every "nasty ass" xyz Problematic RPer to block them, not interact, or vanish from their view of the RPC, but I don't think they realize what that really looks like. What it looks like is a huge percentage of the RPC missing, including people they didn't realize were "problematic." We tend to be quieter, wanting to stay in our own lanes and actually enjoy the hobby and each other. That's why they have to resort to shit like making everyone pre-guilty, or setting up traps to catch people out on being "gross."

So, I genuinely do not think they're prepared for the rude awakening of silence that would happen if we all actually vanished, but I am dying to see it lol and do sometimes have to wonder if the complaints about the RPC being dead/dying/empty, not in a fandom but overall, are coming from the purity police some of the time. It's quite active over on the Leave Folks Alone Over Fiction side of life :D

#answered #anonymous #policing #dni lists #blocking #rp advice #rp problems

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buckybeardreams · 3 years

Text

Unwanted

Chapters: 4/11

Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark

Characters: Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Brock Rumlow, James "Bucky" Barnes, Clint Barton, Harley Keener

Additional Tags: Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alpha Steve Rogers, Omega Tony Stark, Service Top, Dominant Bottom, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Virgin Steve Rogers, Brock Rumlow is a Good Bro, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Romantic Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, First Meetings, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sappy, Romantic Fluff, Awkwardness, Drinking to Cope, Self-Worth Issues, Insecure Tony Stark, Insecure Steve Rogers, Age Difference, Harley Keener is Tony Stark's Biological Child, Bonding, Claiming Bites, Claiming, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mpreg, Non-Explicit Sex, Light Dom/sub, Mutual Masturbation, Coming Untouched, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Wordcount: 10.000-30.000

Series: Part 1 of Second Chances

Summary:

Steve is a soft Alpha and Tony is an in charge kind of Omega with no desire to find a mate. He doesn't want to find his soulmate and when he does meet Steve he's determined to stay away from him.

That is until he realizes just how right they are for each other.

Ch 1 Ch 2 Ch 3 Ch 4 Ch 5 Ch 6 Ch 7 Ch 8 Ch 9 Ch 10 Ch 11

Can also be read here

Words: 1,542

The first night when Steve didn't get a call from his soulmate he convinced himself that he was too tired when he got off his shift to call him, that maybe he didn't want to call him so late. Totally reasonable. Steve barely slept that night, staring at his phone for hours and willing it to ring before dragging his butt out of bed at the crack of dawn and heading over to Sam's.

Sam answered in his underwear, told Steve to keep his voice down when he started to excitedly tell him about his night, and headed to the kitchen to make coffee. Despite Sam's best attempts to keep Steve quiet they still woke his mate, who apparently was not a morning person. Though to be fair, Steve had woken him up at six o'clock and not many people were excited about being awake that early, especially if they didn't have to be.

Sam's Omega snapped at them to shut up when he entered the kitchen, ranted about how Steve was way too sunshiny for someone who was awake before the sun, and then stole Sam's coffee. Sam just smiled fondly at him and wrapped his arms around his waist, letting Brock lean up against him.

"So you must be Brock?" Steve asked, grinning. "I just found my mate too."

Sam smiled at Steve.

"I really am so glad for you, man. Next time call before you show up though."

Steve blushed and scratched the back of his neck.

"Sorry, Sam. I was just so excited and I had to tell you."

"It's all good."

Brock grumbled about damn early morning people and refilled the coffee cup before joining in on the conversation.

"So, what is he like?" Brock asked, feeling much more alive with coffee in him.

"He's perfect. Gorgeous dark eyes, dark curls, so tiny he's practically pocket size,” Steve said, clearly lost on the Omega he'd barely even spoken to. “He's the prettiest Omega I've ever seen."

Brock raised a brow at him.

"Saying that in the presence of another Omega is dangerous."

Steve blushed and stuttered out an apology that Brock waved off.

"Relax, I'm only teasing you. I'm not jealous of your mate," Brock said, rolling his eyes and pressing closer to Sam, turning to press his nose into his neck.

"I'm glad things are working out for you, man," Sam said, his thumb rubbing circles into Brock's hip. "When do we get to meet him?"

Steve shrugged.

"I don't know. I need him to call me first and then I'm thinking I'll take him out on a date and after..." Steve blushed, but grinned like a lovesick fool. "Well, maybe he'll let me mate him."

"I can't believe you haven't mated him yet," Brock said in disbelief. "You really just left without taking him home with you? What if he thinks you're not interested?"

"I gave him my number!" Steve defended. "Besides, he was working."

Brock rolled his eyes and Sam stepped in to steer the conversation towards less rocky waters. Steve continued to rave about his Omega and Sam nodded along indulgently.

"Yeah? He got a name? This pretty Omega of yours?" Brock mumbled into Sam's neck.

"Yeah, Anthony, " Steve said dreamily, his eyes sparkling.

Brock turned to look at Steve considering that.

"Yeah? Where'd you say you met him again?"

"A bar. He was the server there."

Brock nodded, fitting the pieces together. He hoped he was wrong, because he had a feeling that if he was right that Steve might not ever get that call he was hoping to get. Brock didn't say anything about it, because he didn't want to worry Steve, but it seemed like too much of a coincidence.

Which is why Brock called up Tony the moment Steve left. Tony was still ignoring him though and Brock groaned.

That fucking brat.

He couldn't ignore him forever.

*****

It turns out he could ignore him for a month though, because Tony was just too stubborn for his own good.

"Why don't you just call him?" Brock asked.

Tony had finally given in and invited Brock over.

"I can't. I threw away his number," Tony groaned.

"Stupid, stupid Omega," Brock teased. "Why would you do that? You can't hate Alphas so much that you'd throw away what is potentially your only chance at happiness?"

Tony pouted. He hated being teased.

"You're not helping," Tony whined, throwing a pillow at him.

Brock just laughed and caught the pillow.

"You'll find him somehow," Brock assured him. "When you do, just make sure you at least get his name."

Tony shook his head.

"Nope, if I ever see him again, I'm running in the opposite direction. Anyone who can make me feel this miserable is bad news."

Brock hummed, propping g the pillow up behind him and grabbing his beer to take a sip.

"You only feel miserable because he's gone."

"Yeah, well, I'd rather not give him a chance to get close to me only so he can decide I'm not worth his trouble and leave me. Never knowing how good it could be is better than knowing and losing it."

"Oh, you poor thing," Brock cooed at the smaller Omega. "You're just terrified of getting hurt, but if you never take a chance then you'll never have a chance at happiness."

"Shut up," Tony grumbled. "I hate it when you say smart shit like that. It makes me feel stupid."

"Tony you are the farthest thing from stupid," Brock told him, but then he smirked. "Though you do stupid shit constantly, so maybe you are pretty stupid."

Tony rolled his eyes at his best friend's teasing.

"I will shove you off the couch if you don't stop making fun of me," Tony threatened.

Brock laughed.

"Okay, okay. I'll stop, but you have to promise me that you'll come over for dinner tomorrow night. Sam's best friend is coming too,” Brock said casually, like he wasn’t secretly hoping that Steve was Tony’s soulmate. “It'll be my first time hosting a dinner like a real adult. You have to be there."

Tony sighed dramatically, but nodded.

"You know I wouldn't miss it for the world."

*****

When Steve didn't get a call by the end of that first day he was starting to have his doubts, but he tried to remain positive. Maybe his soulmate was just busy or maybe he was shy and trying to work up the courage to call. By the end of the week Steve had all but given up hope on ever getting the call he was waiting for.

He knew that he could go back to his work, but that just seemed wrong. If the Omega didn't want to see him Steve wasn't going to force him to. He definitely wasn't going to pressure his little mate. He wasn't an asshole.

Steve was definitely heartbroken though. The feeling of rejection was steadily creeping up on him and threatening to consume him. He held it together pretty well that second week, but by the time the third week hit with no word from Tony, Steve was depressed and had completely given up on getting to have that happily ever after he wanted. He had also given up on showering, spent all day in bed but never seemed to sleep, and the only reason he hadn't starved was because Sam kept bringing him food.

Steve felt bad that Sam was spending his evenings consoling his best friend, instead of with his own mate. It really wasn't fair, but Steve was still grateful for it. He was miserable, but it was easier when Sam was there. It was easier when they were watching movies and laughing. Sam was good at distracting him when possible and being a shoulder to cry on when Steve couldn't hold it together and broke down into sobs.

Steve was miserable, but he still clung to the last shred of hope that maybe someday his soulmate would want him, would call him on the phone.

"Do you think he knew? Think he could just tell somehow?" Steve asked at one point.

"Tell what?" Sam asked.

"That I wasn't a real Alpha."

"Hey, don't think like that. You are a real Alpha. I don't care what others say. Alphas don't have to be domineering and controlling."

"Maybe not, but that doesn't mean everyone likes that. Maybe he could sense it and just knew that I could never be what he really wanted from an Alpha."

"Steve, stop, you can't think like that. You'll tear yourself apart if you keep thinking those kinds of thoughts. There's nothing wrong with the way you are and someday you'll meet someone who doesn't care about that."

"I don't want anyone but my soulmate." Steve pouted.

Sam sighed.

"I know you feel that way now, but someday you might feel differently. Maybe you'll meet a different Omega, or even an Alpha."

Steve cringed at that.

"I can't date an Alpha, Sam. That's just wrong. You know that Alphas can't be together. It's just not allowed."

"I'm not saying you have to, but you know I'd never judge you even if you did fall in love with an Alpha, or if you wanted to fool around with one or even just date around. Whatever you want, whatever makes you happy, that's what I want for you."

Steve whimpered, wiping tears off his cheeks.

"I just want my Omega."

For as miserable as Steve felt he still managed to pull himself together enough to get all cleaned up for the dinner that Sam and his Omega had invited him to. Brock had threatened to shove Steve into the shower himself if he showed up smelling like he hadn't showered in a week. Steve sure was glad that he'd showered and put on clean clothes when his soulmate showed up.

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iinfortunii · 3 years

Text

rules: code of conduct.

BEGIN.

Before we start, I would like you to have certain things in mind when approaching me ooc. I am very shy and quite awkward, which results in me not being much of a talker; however, I will always try my best to be friendly to whoever wants to approach. I dislike pet names so please do not use them with me unless we are very close. There will be times when I'm just exhausted, so my wording could sound rude/aggressive, to which I apologize in advance -I never mean to hurt people’s feelings. I also reserve the right to interact with WHOEVER I want, and pestering me about it will only get you blocked.

Updates will be made as required.

I. BASIC.

A. This blog is: Selective / Independent / Canon Divergent / NSFW / Mutuals only / Singleship / Mostly iconless / Multiverse / AU, Crossover, OC, and Multimuse friendly / Vaguely affiliated with the OP RP fandom.

B. I am a very slow rper for many reasons —school, family, my ever-fluctuating mood —and I would appreciate it if you refrained from pestering me for replies. In return I offer as much patience as necessary. Think of this blog as low activity please.

C. English is not my mother language so I apologize in advance for any mistakes made.

D. I track the tag #iinfortunii, although mentioning me works just as fine.

E. Constructive criticism is always welcome but anon hate will be immediately deleted. I have no problems if you disagree with my portrayal, but it doesn't give you the right to harass me.

F. Mun and muse are both over 18, so there are chances that heavy content will be present; however I won't be writing smut. I can roleplay anything before or after the act if requested, but the moment things get far too explicit, I'll do a fade-to-black. I ask of you to not lie about your age or else you’ll be blocked indefinitely.

G. This is a heavily headcanon-based blog, and changes are likely to be made as more information is revealed about him, though I reserve the right to adjust the new information according to my interpretation of Deuce or simply ignore it, which is why I’m canon divergent.

H. If you'd like to turn an ask into a thread, you can turn it into a new post, or reblog from me, as I won't be using the Tumblr asks anymore due to the problems that come with formatting and such.

I. Ask box is open for everyone ic or ooc, but you aren't allowed to turn it into a thread and nor I will reply to it if we’re not mutuals. Please don't push me, because I won't hesitate to block.

J. No godmoding —only a minor is allowed if it moves a thread forward —or metagaming, please. Don't kill Deuce either, unless plotted beforehand, and most importantly, don't hold your muse back.

K. Discord is available for mutuals upon request.

L. Just because I write something it does not mean I condone it. Please have this in mind and again, do not pester me about it. Any and all nsfw matters will be tagged accordingly. There will be triggering topics present, and you can know more about this on the section below.

M. DO NOT involve me in drama or call-out posts. I’m heavily against both things. On this note, you’ll never see me rebloging a call-out post. This culture is so damaging and toxic, and I firmly believe no one should play the role of the judge for the good of the community just because you had issues with someone or don’t agree with the things they roleplay. Talk things privately, be mature about it, hard-block the person and move on. I am also very aware that a lot of people have done things that can’t be excused, but I like to believe that people can change for the better. If you try to drag me into it, I'll hard block any and all people involved indefinitely.

II. TRIGGERS.

A. They will be tagged as trigger tw, trigger / and trigger cw.

B. I do my best to stay up to date with my mutuals triggers. Your comfort is way more important to me than you might think, so never be hesitant to approach me via IM, (anonymous) ask or stop following me.

C. Triggers that are likely to appear, although some more than others: violence || blood || death || drugs || abuse || knives || body image || medical equipment || suggestive content || etc

D. I have no triggers, so you are free to go wild with your content. I only ask you remember to tag your nsfw (both written and visual), please.

III. INTERACTIONS.

A. Deuce won't like everyone. He might/will make wrong assumptions about your character. He will insult and bite back. He won't always be nice to those he likes. He does many things that serve his interests. You, as the mun, have no reason to take it personal, because I'm won't follow someone I don't like; if you DO take it personal however, and decide to rouse drama, then I'll be hard-blocking you. Goes for me as well —I have no reason to get angry for any of the things noted above.

B. My bonds page displays the relationships that have been built over time, not necessarily through interaction alone but over plotting as well. Refer to it for more information.

C. Interactions with OCs related to canon characters will only take place as long as said OCs have a detailed about page. Personally, I'm not interested in the idea of an OC being blood-related to my portrayal, so I apologize in advance.

D. Formatting isn’t a big thing across my blogs, save for the small text. Please don’t mix either sup/sub with small text when writing with me, as I have eyesight problems. Don’t use colored text either.

E. Non-romantic pre-established relationships are allowed! Just make sure to talk it out with me first, yeah?

01. Spade / Whitebeard pirates (canon and original characters alike that i am MUTUALS with) will have a pre-established relationship as long as the other mun is comfortable with such idea, though that relationship will be limited to merely crewmates, unless discussed otherwise.

F. You don’t need to match my writing length as long as I’m given enough to work with. If something about my reply bothers or doesn’t work with you, let me know and I’ll re-work it.

G. I really enjoy plotting scenarios or talking out about the relationships my muse could have with other muses, so hit me up if you’ve got any ideas! I’ll try to do the same!

H. Mun does not equal muse, so don’t go assuming I’m a jerk simply because Deuce is an asshole from time to time. I’m set on the idea that I’ll give people the same treatment they give me —which is always nice and kind. Kudos to everyone for this ♡

I. I don’t use a threadtracker because I rely on my memory (terrible mistake, I know), but I try to draft people’s replies as soon as I see them. If by any reason it seems like I lost it, then please let me know / send me a link with it and I’ll be deeply grateful.

J. I don’t do nor reply to greetings starters for matters of my own comfort, so I ask of you to never expect a starter or a reply from them.

IV. SHIPPING.

A. Singleship, with the spot taken by daadzi, which means Deuce is no longer open for romantic relationships.

01. Under no circumstances, I will accept more romantic relationships once the spot is taken. That being said, I won’t discourage your muse from falling for / hitting on him, although I ask you to understand he will never respond with the same interest or will never react gently if he’s pushed too far.

02. If my shipping partner is comfortable enough, I'll interact with duplicates with the condition that the relationship is strictly platonic.

B. Constant interaction, mutual interest, and chemistry are a must for the sake of better communication (both ic and ooc, preferably).

C. Please do not approach me if you wish our characters to have either a: one night stand or friends with benefits type of relationships. It won’t work out due to the nature of Deuce’s personality, and for that I apologize.

E. My ship has its own tag so you're free to block it if you don't want to see it on your dashboard. In addition, I'll also tag those posts with only the ship name for this very purpose.

F. Please do not force ships on me.

V. CELEBRATIONS.

A. First off, I am absolutely terrible at keeping up with dates, and to be frank, I am not the biggest fan of celebrating, which is why I think it’s necessary to say I won’t be partaking in any holidays, not even Deuce’s birthday (not that he has one, to begin with). Obviously I will still reply to any gifts received, and will send out things in return —you know, common courtesy.

B. I won't be sending out birthday gifts every year, and I might write drabbles for people once in a blue moon; it doesn’t mean they will be done for the specific date though, so please be patient.

VI. REASONS TO NOT FOLLOW BACK / UNFOLLOW.

A. Too much drama / call-outs / vague posts / sexual content.

B. Content makes me uncomfortable.

C. You are a personal blog without a visible rp sideblog. Please make sure it's easy to find.

D. You do not have a proper tag system.

E. Your blog doesn’t have a rules and about pages.

F. You lack the manners to deal with people respectfully.

G. I have no interest / lost interest.

H. I'm constantly / only used as a meme archive.

I. Other reasons may apply. I will soft block so we can both cease following each other and avoid any potential awkward situations. I won’t make a fuss if you decide to unfollow so I expect the same courtesy.

VII. ABOUT BEATRICE.

She is not a real person. Her concept as Deuce’s (toxic) pseudolover is my creation and was somewhat inspired from the real life Beatrice Portinari. Do have in mind that Deuce doesn’t talk about her so your muse can’t simply approach him and ask about her unless they can go through his memories / read his mind / any capability alike or he speaks about her, though it won't take a genius to figure out that she's a product of his imagination.

You can read about her by clicking here -link to be added.

She serves as a lie to shield himself from the internalized homophobia he deals with up until meeting Ace.

NOTE: As stated previously, Mun =/= muse, but I too have been dealing with compulsory heterosexuality for far too long, so I'd like to apologize in advance for projecting a bit of that into my portrayal. I'll work so that this part makes sense with what we've been given from Ace's novel.

VIII. MISCELLANEOUS.

A. I will never force people to follow me, so if by any reason you have to unfollow/block me, please go ahead. Your comfort matters and have every right to do what you must to ensure your wellbeing. With that said, I will not tolerate and will immediately hard block if you try to police my content.

B. I do not follow back immediately, and it can take me from a few hours to several days to follow back. Do not take it personally if I choose not to.

C. If I follow it’s because I am interested in interacting. I only ask you to be patient because it might take me a while to gather the courage to send something to your inbox or talk to you.

D. I have. ZERO knowledge about medicine. Don’t expect me to go full force and try to be 100% accurate, because I won’t.

E. I practice reblog karma (send a meme to someone if I’m rebloging it from them). If you see something you’d like to reblog but have no intention in sending something yourself, then please reblog from the source.

IX. FINISH.

Thank you for taking the time to read this! As you might have noticed, there’s no password to send. Make sure to check the psa tag for any updates, or don’t hesitate to send an ask if there’s anything unclear! I do my best so as not to post too much OOC posts, but sometimes it just happens. If it's nothing important, then I'll erase it whenever I have the chance/remember.

Keanu Reeves vc: You’re all breathtaking!

#pinned post.#long post #❝ —talking nonsense ; ooc #❝ —off to new adventures ; queue #ooc.#queue.#[ this is a very long post btw ]

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ramblings-of-a-mad-cat · 4 years

Text

Fluffabet! - Tulula

@dat-silvers-girl you tagged me in this I don’t even know how long ago. You probably don’t even remember, that’s how late I am. Nonetheless, nonetheless! I recently got an anon asking me about Tulula as well, and so I shall heal two birds with one veterinarian! (What, what do you mean that’s not the phrase? I like it better this way.) Let’s go ahead and tag @weirdcursedvaultkid @carewyncromwell and @carmilla-the-bird if you’ve already done it and want to do it again you could totally do a different ship? Or anything you like. Let’s go!

A= Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?)

Merula is attracted to Tulip’s outlook, her tendency toward chaos and ability to plan such chaos so meticulously. That smirk is a killer as well. Tulip, meanwhile, is attracted to Merula’s unwavering ambition and her dominant personality. Her eyes are pretty captivating, too. I think Tulip’s passion for mayhem rubbed off on Merula, and I think her taste for glory rubbed off on Tulip. So they became a little bit like each other.

B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not)

I feel like Tulip would love the idea of having a youngin’ that was theirs, that she and Merula could train as their apprentice in the ways of trouble - and with how Tulip was raised, you know that’s exactly what she would do. Merula is a tricky case...I feel like she’d be conflicted about having children. I think having a family environment would definitely help her mental health thrive, but I also think she wouldn’t know what to do with a child. She hasn’t exactly had the best examples to go on with motherhood.

C= Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)

Merula reads to me as someone who would hide her face while cuddling, like in Tulip’s hair, neck, or chest. I also definitely see Merula being shorter, so I can just picture Tulip pulling her into her lap all of the time. It reminds me of that meme. Tulip cuddling Merula and gushing about how cute she is, and Merula sleepily muttering that she could kick her ass.

D= Dates (What are dates with them)

They’re adventures, for sure! These two little delinquents are going to go off to explore the Forbidden Forest, check out all of the abandoned corridors and rooms in the castle, probably searching for a Cursed Vault. Or else just planning a big prank on someone they want to get back at. Competing with others and (playfully) with each other, they’ve definitely got a scoreboard.

E= Everything (You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world…))

“Merula, you are the one who makes it worth it. The chaos in the world is a wonderful thing, but I can’t imagine experiencing it without you. It all seems so dull and pointless. You invigorate me, you motivate me.”

“Blimey, you really are mad for me, aren’t you? Hehe. Well, I suppose...you mean a lot to me too, you know? I know I don’t normally say it, talking about this kind of thing is awkward. But even if I’m the most powerful date in Hogwarts...you could give me a run for my money.”

“Do you really mean that?”

“Of course I do. And I’m not saying it a second time, so savor it.”

F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?)

I so firmly and sincerely believe that Tulip knew as soon as she betrayed Merula. I feel like they would have been somewhat open with each other about having more-than-friendly feelings, but it wouldn’t have been anything official, since, y’know, they’re preteens at this point. But when Tulip leaves Merula, it truly sinks in just what she’s lost. Merula would shrug it off and try to tell herself she’s over Tulip - but seeing her working with MC and being friends with them...yeah, that would be the moment Merula realized and probably skulked off to hex a training dummy and cry. Mutual pining and mutual pain, be still my heart.

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)

As much as we all snort at the idea of Merula being gentle, I think she can be, given the right context. It’s not a side of her that anyone would see very often, so even Tulip would normally get her default personality. But when they’re alone and at peace, I could see Merula softening. For Tulip, I think it would be far easier. I think she actually adapts herself to be less gentle for Merula’s sake, since Merula tends to respond more to power. One of Tulip’s greatest strengths as a partner is the ability to adapt.

H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?)

I feel like Tulip does this thing where she embraces Merula from behind and grabs her hand. Not to mention grabbing her hand when they’re running from Filch. And it just becomes a habit for her, so that even when Merula is hugging her, Tulip holds her hands. But it would be a much bigger moment the first time that Merula actually reached for Tulip’s hand of her own accord. Whatever you do, don’t imagine Tulip tearing up when it happens.

I = Impression (What was their first impression?)

I think Tulip made it her mission to prank everyone in her class before the first year was over. If you want to get into head-canons, that could mean that any number of hijinks from Year 1 were actually caused by Tulip, including the “You are a [House]” schemes. But Merula was the one person that she failed to prank, Merula caught the act before it was complete. Which probably led to them developing a mutual admiration for each other, after the initial conflict.

J= Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)

Merula does. Boy oh boy, does she get jealous. I feel like Tulip wouldn’t necessarily, but it could depend. Merula is highly insecure and I think she very much was jealous when MC and Tulip started hanging out. Likewise, I also think that Tulip was jealous of Merula and MC in Year 5, and Merula even taunted her about it during that scene in Jacob’s Room. But I think Merula wants Tulip all to herself. Tulip, I think, wouldn’t be that strict...but she would hate the idea of Merula just completely moving on to someone else and having no room left in her heart for the rebellious ravenclaw. Which is probably what’s happened by Year 6...

K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)

Not really sure. All I know is that Merula really wants to snog Tulip but is awkward about it. So either because it’s her nature or because she knows Merula is insecure, Tulip is probably the one to pull her in. I’d imagine that Tulip initiated the first kiss as well, or it might have been a same/time thing. If we want to have more heartbreaking fun, just picture Tulip wishing Merula luck before the Portrait Vault and asking her to be careful. And then blindsiding her with the first kiss. What if Merula wasn’t just being all shy and sheepish early on in that chapter because she was connecting with MC, but because of that too?

L= Love (Who says ‘I love you first?)

With how emotionally guarded and repressed Merula is, it was definitely Tulip. I also feel like neither of them would really have verbal expression as a way of expressing their feelings, because they’re both awkward as all hell. Merula shows her affection through expressions of power, and Tulip with her pranks. They’re in a constant effort to prove themselves to each other when there’s no need, always missing the point ironically at least until they're older.

M = Memory (What’s their favourite memory together?)

Going off the idea that they became partners in crime after Tulip tried and failed to prank Merula, I feel like they became similar to the Marauders and explored the Castle for Cursed Vaults. I have this headcanon that they discovered the Room of Requirement at this time and initially investigated it just in case it was a Cursed Vault. It wasn’t, but it became like their sanctuary for a while before they moved to Jacob’s Room. In my head-canons, when they eventually reconcile (they will, damn it!) they’ll return to the “sanctuary” room as neither has ever been able to open the Room without each other.

N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?)

No idea if either of them is particularly wealthy, but I like to imagine that when it comes to love languages, Tulip is more of an “acts of service” sort of person. She’d pull off all kinds of schemes in the hope of making Merula smile or laugh. Merula strikes me as a physical touch sort of person, and I feel like she wouldn’t be much of a gift giver either, but they could definitely go all out given the right circumstances. I feel like Tulip, post-graduation, would engineer a scheme to try and break Merula’s parents out of Azkaban. She would of course, fail, but imagine Merula trying not to cry as she realizes how lucky she is.

O= Orange (What colour reminds them of their other half?)

This one is rather simple, but I feel like the colors that remind Tulip of Merula is either emerald green, or violet. To match either her House, or her eyes. The colors that remind Merula of Tulip are crimson red (for her hair) and midnight blue, because she’s a Ravenclaw and also because it would resemble her Celestial Ball dress. Did these two go to the Celestial Ball together? Unlikely, given that they were at odds, but still possible. Otherwise, one of them could have looked on forlorn as the other danced with MC.

P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?

Merula has a tendency to refer to people by surname, and only use their first name if it’s a serious moment or if she’s grown to care about them. I feel like the opposite would come into play with Tulip. Most of the time she just calls her by her first name, but in more serious moments, she playfully calls her “Karasu.” Likewise...ever notice how Tulip, notorious for referring to people by first and last names every time...has only ever called Merula by her first name? Just saying. Other than that, I’d imagine she tried to use some nicknames for Merula playfully, stuff like “Meru” or “Ruru” or “Rula” and promptly dodged the incoming hex at the idea.

Q = Quaint (What is their favourite non-modern thing?)

I mean, they’re witches, so most of the hobbies and everyday things they come across aren’t going to be modern, especially in Merula’s case. But Merula appears to be a Quidditch fan, even if she doesn’t always let on. I feel as though Tulip doesn’t care about that, but could gladly get on board with playing alongside her. Meanwhile, Tulip strikes me as the kind of person to enjoy Wizard’s Chess. (EDIT: Apparently, this is straight up canon. Yay!) She would pull out victory in unexpected ways, make different plays that her opponents question as cheating or risque, but never be able to prove anything.

R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)

I think this is where Tulip being more well adjusted than Merula would come into play. A rainy day would be the perfect chance to write some letters to folks they know and care about, that they could catch up with. Merula would scoff at the thought, wanting such people to contact them first. Tulip would talk her into helping or, if nothing else, sign the letters from both of them, bless her heart.

S = Sad (How do they cheer each other up?)

Merula only knows how to measure things in terms of power and success. She would learn to translate that for Tulip, who is constantly insecure, I think, about who she is. I feel like the lack of love Tulip got from her parents affects her, and that she sees far too much of herself in Rakepick. Merula attempts to comfort her by reassuring Tulip that she is her own person. Unique and better than any of them. Likewise, I think Tulip very much imbibes negative energy from those around her, so Merula working on herself also helps, and just generally being nicer. Tulip, meanwhile, is good at adapting, like I said earlier. She learns quickly how to console Merula and feed her ego, understands when to be blunt and when to just let her win.

T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?)

I feel like Tulip always has a funny story to share, but winds up telling it in a way that the joke doesn’t land. I think Merula likes to boast about her adventures, but her self-praise rings hollow since no one else was there. In both cases, it’s an example of “you had to be there.” hence these two always prefer to stick together when they can, but are always willing to listen when the other needs to vent, and they often trade clever quips and one-liners, just overall a lot of fun banter.

U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)

Merula almost never relaxes. I think having Tulip around in general would help with that. I can imagine the two of them kicking back after a long day of adventures, sharing a pot of tea and chatting about the different antics they shared, as well as bringing one another up to speed on what the other missed. Bonus points if they’re cuddling on the couch. Again, I’m a sucker for that whole setup? Is Merula a big spoon or a little spoon? She’s obviously a knife. Just kidding, she’s a little spoon.

V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)

This is Merula we’re talking about. She is constantly showing off and enjoys the attention because Tulip will inevitably get heart-eyes, every time. Whether it’s mastering a new spell, bullying and/or “standing up to” someone she had a quarrel with, or even just a new style for her hair, Merula would always want Tulip’s attention. I feel like Tulip is mostly proud of her schemes and ability to plan big events, usually ones that cause mayhem, and those are her proudest accomplishments.

W = Wedding (When, how, where do they propose?

So, my vision is that Tulip’s initial prank that she planned on Merula, who she saved for last, involved knocking her into the fountain of the Hogwarts Courtyard. Merula saw this coming and dodged at the last second, instead pushing Tulip into the fountain. To her immense surprise, Tulip was not angry, she was delighted at having been outsmarted. My belief is that some time after Hogwarts, maybe after the second war ends, maybe before it starts...Tulip takes Merula to some garden where there’s a fountain, and abruptly knocks both of them into the water. Once they’re in there, Tulip pulls out the ring. Obviously, Merula says yes, before security chases them off.

X = Xylophone (What’s their song?)

Oh I’m so glad you asked, my friend. Their song, in-universe, is the Celestina Warbeck song called “You Charmed The Heart Right Out Of Me.” This is something that I believe they shared, a love of Celestina Warbeck and of singing in general - though Merula was the only one who was good at it, of course. Seriously, this one would have been in the songbook, and circled with a bunch of hearts. Don’t @ me. It just would have. Additionally, if we’re talking about out-of-universe, this song reminds me a lot of the storm that Tulula would be.

Y = Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?)

Yup! The fountain incident is the proposal, and I think Tulip knew she wanted to marry Merula for years, even before they left Hogwarts. Likewise, I think that Tulip’s attempt to free Merula’s parents clued Merula in to how she was really feeling as well, which previously she wasn’t able to access. So she would have secretly wanted to marry Tulip as well, but not had the guts to propose.

Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?)

They already have a pet and he is the magnificent Dennis. He is their son, and always watches over them, being just as much of a trickster as Tulip. Likewise, my interpretation is that Merula has a black cat called Bitten who is just as much of a grumpy ass as Merula. Bitten and Dennis have a close friendship, even if it’s unconventional and Bitten refuses to let on that he cares, he will allow Dennis to sleep in his bed without biting him.

#Tulip Karasu #Merula Snyde #Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery #Tulip Karasu x Merula Snyde #HPHM Headcanons #Tagged Posts #Tulula #Shipping #Tulip x Merula

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